#If my mom . Tries to give me one of her talks .
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a morning behind the explosions
pairing: timeskip bakugo x reader (married with kids au)
notes: this was waaayy back in my old drafts so enjoy reading :P
The early morning sunlight peeked through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. The soft murmur of your children’s voices could be heard from the kitchen, punctuated by the occasional burst of laughter. You smiled, knowing that the morning chaos had already begun—your two kids were always up bright and early, full of energy, ready to face the day.
You rolled over in bed, only to find that Bakugo’s side of the bed was already empty. You sighed with a smile, knowing exactly where he was.
As you stepped into the living room, you were greeted by the sight of Bakugo, his red eyes narrowed in concentration, wearing a faded “Kiss the Cook” apron over his usual black compression shirt. He was standing at the stove, one hand gripping a spatula while the other tried to balance a skillet full of eggs.
"Good morning," you said, leaning against the doorway with a teasing smile. "How’s the kitchen going today?"
Bakugo grunted, not turning to face you. “Don’t laugh. I’m making breakfast, alright? The kids wanted pancakes.”
You watched him flip an egg with surprising precision for someone who usually preferred to blow things up rather than cook. Despite his fiery personality, Bakugo had become a surprisingly competent cook over the years—especially after the birth of your first child. He didn’t want to admit it, but you knew he loved taking care of his family, even in the little things.
“Do they always expect you to cook?” you asked, stepping into the kitchen and moving to the counter to grab a cup of coffee.
“Yeah, well, they love my pancakes,” Bakugo said with a huff, his back still to you. “And if I let you cook, they’ll be crying ‘cause you’re too slow.”
You chuckled, watching as your youngest, a rambunctious four-year-old boy, scampered over to the kitchen table. His bright blond hair—so similar to his father's—was a mess, sticking up in all directions.
"Daddy! Can I have the biggest pancake?" he asked, his wide, eager eyes shining up at Bakugo.
"Quit being so damn greedy," Bakugo grumbled, but his voice had softened. He slid a plate of pancakes onto the table for your son. "Eat this first, then we’ll talk about the ‘biggest’ pancake."
Your heart swelled as you watched Bakugo gently serve his son, his gruff demeanor melting just a little when it came to his kids. It was a side of him that you had fallen in love with—the fierce hero, the protective husband, the devoted father.
As your son dug into his food, your daughter, who was just a year older, strolled into the room with her hair tied up in a messy bun. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, still half-asleep, but already demanding attention.
“Mom, can you make my pancakes in the shape of a heart today?” she asked, her voice still sleep-ridden but sweet as can be.
You smiled at her, walking over to give her a quick hug before turning to your husband. “I think she’s requesting a little extra love this morning,” you teased.
Bakugo rolled his eyes but was already pulling out a second skillet to make heart-shaped pancakes. He didn’t say anything, but his subtle smirk told you that he didn’t mind.
“Are you still planning to take them to the park later?” you asked, stirring your coffee.
“Yeah,” Bakugo replied as he flipped another pancake. “I said I’d take ‘em, so I will.” He turned to look at you, his fiery red eyes softening. “You can stay here and rest. You’ve been working all week. I got this.”
You raised an eyebrow. “I’m not going to sit on the couch while you do all the work.”
“Tch, I don’t need you hovering over me,” he muttered, but his voice was softer than usual. “It’s not a big deal.”
You gave him a knowing smile, watching as he poured batter into the pan, a small frown on his face as he tried to make sure the pancakes were perfectly shaped. “You’re getting good at this.”
Bakugo shot you a glare, but there was no heat in it. “You don’t need to act so surprised. I’m not some idiot who can’t learn stuff.”
You stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him from behind, resting your chin on his shoulder. “I’m not surprised. I love seeing this side of you, you know?”
He tensed for a moment, but then relaxed into your embrace. “Shut up,” he muttered, though the faintest blush crept across his cheeks.
Your son, now finished with his pancakes, climbed into Bakugo’s lap. "Daddy, can you play with me later?"
Bakugo gave a small sigh, but the smile that tugged at his lips was soft. “Yeah, I’ll play with you after I finish here.”
You watched them, your heart full as you saw the fatherly bond between them. Despite the explosive nature of his quirks and his harsh exterior, Bakugo was, without a doubt, the most dedicated father. And it was in these small, quiet moments that you saw just how much he cherished being a family man.
You grabbed the plates and began setting the table, glancing over at him. "You know, Katsuki, I’m really proud of you."
He scoffed, but there was no hiding the genuine warmth in his eyes. “Tch, don’t get all sappy. I’m just doing what needs to be done.”
You smiled, kissing his cheek quickly before returning to your task. “Yeah, I know. But that doesn’t mean I’m not proud of you.”
As the morning unfolded, you all sat down together at the table, sharing breakfast and laughs. The chaos of family life, while loud and often overwhelming, was something you had come to cherish. You didn’t need grand gestures from Bakugo—his love for you and the kids was shown in the small moments, in his quiet care and dedication to making sure everything was right.
And in that moment, surrounded by the noise and joy of your family, you knew that no matter how intense the world got, you had your own little piece of peace right here.
enzstr © 2024. please don't steal, modify or copy my writing on any other platforms!
#mha#my hero academia#bnha#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#mha x reader#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki bakugou#bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader
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Franco x driver reader- She is a rookie who started before him and the others on the grid are protective of her since she has no one with her (her family never goes to see her or supports her). They start talking and the other drivers act like older brothers.
A/n— Hi 👋 @alex-wotton I went with the last one because it really stood out to me because I realized last night that if I was a f1 driver traveling to races would be pretty lonely as my mom has lupus and is in pain all the time and my siblings are still in school while my dad works out on the road. I will also be doing the others to.
Oh one more thing this is just a little look into the big fic around this request I’ll be doing later… depending on how well this does.
"They mean well" — Franco Colapinto x fem! rookie diver! Reader
Fluff slightly angsty
Word count—1122
Summary — Franco befriend's the female Alpine rookie the only problem is that he now has to deal with her guard dogs.
The first few weeks on the grid were a whirlwind, especially since you were a rookie in a sport where every second counts, and every move you make is scrutinized. It was hard, almost overwhelming, and though you knew the other drivers were competitive, you quickly realized that there was a quieter, more supportive side to them. You couldn’t deny how much it helped to have the older drivers looking out for you.
Lando had taken to teasing you right away. His cheeky humor and constant lighthearted comments were always enough to make you laugh, even on the toughest days. “You’re doing better than most of the vets, you know,” he’d say after a particularly good lap, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Next time, you’ll have to give me some pointers!”
Max, who often seemed aloof to others, was surprisingly attentive. He noticed when you were on your own, after long days when you would simply wander the paddock, minding your own business. Without a word, he would sidle up next to you, hands shoved deep into his pockets, and talk about the most mundane things—anything to take your mind off the pressure. “Have you ever tried the coffee from the new stand near the paddock? Best one in town,” he’d comment, knowing full well it was an excuse to pull you into a conversation that wasn’t about racing for once.
Charles, ever the older brother type, was the one who would make sure you didn’t slip into your head too much. He could tell when the weight of everything was starting to build up on your shoulders. “Hey,” he’d say, voice gentle but firm. “You’re doing fine. Don’t let the stress get to you. You have a team behind you.”
And then there was Franco. He was quieter than the others, but his presence was undeniable. He’d only just joined the grid, and the others were quick to embrace him, but it was clear that his personality was different—calmer, more reserved. You found that, over time, you felt a quiet connection with him. It wasn’t an in-your-face, loud support, but a steady, reassuring presence.
One evening, after another intense qualifying session, you found yourself walking alone by the garages, replaying every corner of the track in your head. You were exhausted, physically and mentally, but you didn’t want to be a burden to the others, so you walked it off in silence. Franco noticed you from across the paddock and, with a knowing look, excused himself from a conversation he was having with Lando.
When he reached you, there was no fanfare, just a casual ease that made you relax almost immediately.
“Hey, everything okay?” Franco asked, his voice soft yet direct.
You smiled, a little weary, but grateful. “Just thinking about the session. Could’ve done better.”
He shook his head, his lips curling into a small smile. “You did fine. We all have those moments, don’t overthink it.”
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. “It’s just… hard sometimes. Being the rookie and feeling like you’re always falling short.”
Franco tilted his head slightly, studying you for a moment before replying. “I get it. I’m still the new guy here too, remember? But honestly, the others are looking out for you. They’ve got your back.”
The way he said it was simple, but there was a sincerity behind it that made something inside you relax. Franco wasn’t offering empty words—he meant it.
And it wasn’t just him. The next time you walked into the paddock and bumped into Max, he clapped you on the shoulder with a grin. “You looked a bit off yesterday. If you need a break, you know where to find me.”
Lando, catching wind of the exchange, chimed in from a few feet away. “Yeah, don’t make us have to drag you into our fun. We’re here for more than just the racing.”
The protectiveness came in waves. Sometimes it was subtle—Charles, pulling you aside to offer advice on staying focused during the race, or Lando, joking around to make you laugh when the stress of the weekend was beginning to get to you. But sometimes, it was a little more overt.
The first time you really felt the weight of their protectiveness was after a particularly tough race, where you finished outside the points. The media was relentless, questions flying about whether you were cut out for the sport, and you could feel the eyes of the paddock on you.
As you were heading back to your garage, head down, trying to shut out the noise, you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder. It was Max.
“You don’t let them get to you,” he said quietly, looking you in the eyes. “It’s one race. And you’ll get them next time.”
Before you could respond, Lando appeared, his usual grin plastered across his face. “Max is right, of course. And if they keep giving you trouble, just let me know. I’m pretty good at handling the media.”
Charles joined them, his voice more serious than usual. “We’ve all been there. Don’t let them make you doubt yourself. We’re all in this together.”
That was when it hit you—this wasn’t just about the competition on the track. They truly cared about you, and despite the pressures of racing, they weren’t about to let you face it alone.
Franco appeared just as they were finishing up, walking over to the group with a quiet smile. “Everyone’s right,” he added, offering a knowing look. “And if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always around. No need to fight your battles alone.”
From that moment on, you felt the weight of their protectiveness more than ever. It wasn’t just about them looking out for a rookie; it was about them making sure you knew that no matter what happened, you weren’t alone on the grid.
The bond between you and Franco deepened as the weeks went on. In between races, the two of you shared quiet conversations in the back of the garage, or while waiting for your cars to be prepped. You spoke about everything—racing, family, the weird quirks of the Formula 1 lifestyle, and even the things you’d been avoiding thinking about. Franco’s steady support and dry humor became something you could rely on, and the way he listened without judgment made him one of the few you truly felt comfortable with.
In a world that often felt like a competition to survive, you finally understood: you had people here, and they weren’t just teammates or rivals—they were your family.
And Franco, despite being new to the grid himself, was starting to feel more like a brother than just a teammate.
#f1#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x you#f1 x y/n#formula one x oc#formula one x y/n#faiths inboxes📥��#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto x you
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Cosmere Characters as Parents
As requested by anon. :)
If Cosmere characters who aren't currently parents (or who never got that chance) were parents, what would they be like?
1. Adolin
LOVES playing dress-up
Small child: And YOU'RE my servant, Radiant Princess Assassin Duelist! Adolin [solemnly wearing a princess hat and armor, carrying a large wooden sword]: I am at your service, Your Highness.
2. Siri
I'm seeing: Midnight Family Picnics.
Siri: Whose ready for Midnight Family Picnic?? Both kids: [cheering] Siri: Tonight we have a lovely assortment of sweet treats, assorted nuts for salt, and of course a Surprise Stew that the cook whipped up! Siri: Let's set up the tent, and we can get eating!!
3. Kaladin
Wants to support his kid in everything...but may be slightly overprotective
Small child: Dad, Dad look! I climb ALL the way to top! Kaladin: Wow! Great job!! Syl: Wow! I'm surprised you're letting him climb a rock that tall! Kaladin: Well, you know. It's good for a kid to get to explore and be fearless. Syl: ... Syl: Got him Lashed so he can't fall, huh? Kaladin: You know it.
4. Shallan
Has a little bit of trouble setting boundaries--she just doesn't want her kid to feel restricted, you know?
Teenager: See ya, Mom! Gonna go set a building on fire. Shallan: Hey, wait a second! Shallan: You got a good reason? Teenager: Yeah. Shallan: Got a plan to avoid being caught? Teenager: Of course. Shallan: Okay--have fun!! Radiant: ... Shallan: What?
5. Nikaro
As an emo guy, he of course ends up with a kid who is the opposite.
Akane: Are you wearing...a pink shirt with a heart on it? Nikaro: My daughter is obsessed with kawaii fashion. Nikaro: She wanted to style me. Akane: That also explains the sparkly eyeshadow. Nikaro: It does. Akane: ... Akane: Is your goth soul dying inside? Nikaro: Only a little.
6. Yumi
It feels inevitable that Yumi would give birth to a tiny Godzilla child.
Yumi: Look! Mommy made the stack sooooo high! Child: [shrieking with delight as they plow right into it, knocking it over] Yumi: [smile only slightly strained] A mother's love is a powerful thing.
7. Lopen
They say it takes a village, and Lopen definitely has that.
Sigzil: You know...I'm impressed by how well-rounded your kid is. Lopen: Ha ha! A Herdazian is always well-rounded--and very often round as well! Lopen: Every cousin teaches 'im something--he's learned to cook and talk quick and make friends and tell jokes and stick people to walls and all the things! Small Lopen child: [flips someone off] Lopen: He learned that from me! Sigzil: You don't say...
8. Tress
Raises her child on the high seas.
Child: [screaming a sea shanty at the top of her lungs while she swabs the deck] Ann: She getting punished for something? Tress: What? No! She just likes to sing and her favorite one is about swabbing the decks. Tress: I tried to get her interested in spores, but apparently that's not as exciting as swabbing the deck. Ann: [patting her on the back] Well, there's still plenty of time to share your incredibly dangerous hobby with your kid. Tress: Yeah, you're right!
9. Elend
Just doesn't want his kid to have a childhood like his
Elend: Wait a minute...are you reading that book after I told you that the thesis was juvenile speculation sprung from the mind of a man without two thoughts to rub together? Teenager: Yeah, what of it? I'm not gonna take your word for it! Elend: [sniffs] I-I'm so proud!
10. Vin
Just doesn't want her kid to have a childhood like hers.
Sazed: Wow so this is your baby, huh? Vin: Yup! Sazed: So....round. And happy. Vin: Yup! [The fattest, happiest baby you've ever seen gives Sazed a sleepy smile] Sazed: She's...perfect.
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Gifts
Pairings: Wednesday Addams x Enid Sinclair
Warnings: Mentions of a taxidermy squirrel
Content: Gift giving, fluff
Summary: Wednesday and Enid arrive back after Winter break with gifts for each other, some more personal than others.
WC: 1593
Winter break had just finished and Enid was excited to go back. She could be away from her family, and see Weems again (who survived the poisoning but had a permanent limp). She also wanted to see Wednesday again as she had a gift for her. They had been texting during the winter break and she was happy about that. Wednesday still wanted to interact with her after all and that was her dream. She didn’t know why though and her mom refused to say. Esther actually tried to get Enid to date a worthy boy (who was an alpha each time conveniently). She rejected each one at least. She cited that Ajax was her boyfriend after all. Really, Ajax and Enid were not together. They broke up after a week but it was mutual, with no harsh feelings. Enid was relieved about that as she didn’t want to break his heart. That was when he admitted that he was starting to think he had a crush on Kent, and she was happy about that. She supported him after all.
Eventually, the car stopped, and she grabbed her bags, leaving her family immediately. She saw the Addams’ hearse outside of the school and she was happy to know that Wednesday was already back. She rushed towards her room, ignoring the yell of her mother as she was soon skipping into her room, where Wednesday’s parents were. “Oh, hi Mrs and Mr Addams,” she spoke politely, Wednesday sorting out her clothes as her parents set everything else up.
“Hello dear, how was Winter break? And please, call us Morticia and Gomez,” Morticia spoke with a smile.
“Yes ma- I mean Morticia. And winter break went as well as it could. If you don’t mind me asking… what are you doing helping Wednesday? I thought she hated it,” she asked. “Well… since that night, Wednesday hasn’t been the best. She is doing well, but she feels phantom pain. We want to thank you for saving our daughter though, how you wolfed out for her and we appreciate it,” Gomez answered, clapping his hand on Enid’s shoulder, who was smiling brightly. “It is no problem, she’s one of my best friends. I would do anything for her,” she spoke with a smile.
“You are a good wolf. Do you plan on courting her?” Morticia asked curiously.
“Huh?” Enid asked confused. “No. I don’t like her like that… I think. Why are you asking?” she added, wanting to know answers admittedly.
“Well, when a wolf wolfs out for someone it usually means they’re soulmates. We have a couple of wolves in our family, so that is why we know if you are wondering,” Gomez spoke with a soft smile. Enid blinked and smiled then.
“Maybe, I don’t know if that is fully true though,” she spoke. The Addams accepted that, but Morticia knew how she felt. She had seen visions of Wednesday and Enid being together after all. The three made small talk, and Wednesday soon walked out as her room was mostly done.
“Thank you, Mother and Father,” she spoke, looking at them. She looked genuine and appreciative. Enid smiled at that.
She left the family be, finishing her own room as she hung her clothes up. She hid something in her closet, not wanting Wednesday’s family to see it. She saw them soon leaving, saying bye to her as she said bye to them as well. “Your parents are nice Willa,” she spoke with a smile when it was just the 2 of them. “Willa?” she responded. “Thank you, they… are,” she reluctantly admitted, answering about her parent. “They are still vomit-inducing with their physical affection,” she added, but she had a soft smile on her face. She was looking at Enid too, which made her see the happiness in her eyes. There was also some softness, which was rare.
“I thought I would give you a nickname. Do you like it? And better than mine at least. How was your winter break?” she asked, sitting on Wednesday’s freshly-made bed, Wednesday joining her as well. “I.. only say it in private, ok?” she asked. Enid nodded to agree. “And you can come over to mine for the holidays you know?” she asked. Enid also nodded at that, blushing that she had the pleasure of doing that. “Winter break was ok though, I suffered from phantom pains however so if I seem weird sometimes… I apologise,” she spoke. “But how was yours?” she added, realising she didn’t
“It’s ok. If it helps, I have nightmares over the night. But my winter break was good. My mother tried to get me with some alphas,” she admitted. Wednesday physically growled at that, which shocked the wolf because it was so close to a wolf’s growl. “How’d you learn to growl like that?” Enid couldn't help but ask. Wednesday smirked.
“I would like to kill your mother if I have consent. But I learnt to growl from my werewolf cousin, I made sure it was perfected before he left,” she responded. Enid nodded and smiled.
“Wait here, by the way, I have something for you,” she spoke and skipped over to her cupboard, grabbing the wrapped-up presents. Grabbing it, she skipped back and handed it over to the goth. Wednesday blinked but opened it. There were 2 presents. One was a box, and the other was clearly clothing of some sort. Intrigued by the box, she opened it and that was when she saw what it was. She couldn’t help her shock. It was a taxidermied squirrel. “I went and hunted in my wolf form over Winter and I found this squirrel. I thought of you as I killed it. I made sure it was in one piece then I took it to a local taxidermist. I hope it looks ok,” she spoke with a soft smile. Wednesday nodded.
“It’s extraordinary, it is neatly done and well-preserved. Thank you, Enid,” she spoke with a smile, her lips curved upwards. “Open your other present dummy,” Enid teased with a smile. Wednesday glared but she was still smiling as she grabbed the other one and opened it. Inside was a knitted sweater, black and white. There was one little colour patch of pink. “I hope the pink is ok, I just wanted a little piece to remind you of me,” she admitted. Wednesday smiled.
“I love it, thank you, Enid. You are the best, I will wear it with great pride,” she spoke, putting it on already. Enid was pleased.
That was when Wednesday crouched under her own bed and got out 4 parcels and handed them over. “I got a few things for you too. Admittedly I didn’t expect anything from you,” she admitted.
“Of course, I would get you something. You’re my best friends,” she spoke with a smile. Wednesday nodded then watched Enid open the first one. It was in a box and she didn’t know what it was. That was when she opened it and saw it was 6 books and they were all of Holly Jackson’s. She had talked about getting the A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder series but she never had enough money. There was that set, but there was also The Reapparance Of Rachel Price, Five Survive and Killjoy. All of the Holly Jackson books were there. “OMG, thank you, Willa! I love this,” she spoke and hugged her. Wednesday hugged back and smiled before Enid opened the other parcels. Inside one was a pink leather jacket. It was from Gucci which surprised Enid.
“I hope it is the right size. If not, I can get it,” she spoke. “You didn’t have to get me a branded item,” Enid spoke.
“I know. I wanted to,” Wednesday answered. Enid smiled, setting it to the side carefully. That was when she opened the next one, a bat plushie. The next parcel was handmade by Wednesday clearly though. It was another plushie, but it was knitted. She loved it and it was also Enid’s wolf colour too. Wednesday was looking down, hoping Enid loved it. That was when she was tackled into a hug.
She was shocked, holding Enid back as tight as the wolf was. “Thank you, I love it,” she spoke, nuzzling into Wednesday slightly. “I am glad. I had my grandmama and mother’s help, it helped with my phantom pain too,” she admitted. Enid smiled.
“You are the best,” Enid admitted. Wednesday smiled, facing Wednesday who was just inches away from her then. She leaned forward slightly, their foreheads together. Enid was shocked, feeling butterflies in her stomach. She thought Wednesday would have the same too, but she would say spiders. That was when she realised Morticia may have been correct. Enid leaned in more, Wednesday soon kissing her. The both of them kissed gently, Enid smiling as she was blushing, soon holding her.
“I think I love you,” Enid spoke. Wednesday raised an eyebrow and smirked.
“I think you do too. I mean, you did kiss me,” Wednesday teased. Enid smiled, kissing her gently again. “So… are we official?” she asked.
“Of course we are, can you keep it secret for now though?” Wednesday asked, looking down. Enid nodded and smiled.
“Of course. So… wanna go on a date tonight?” she asked with a smile. Wednesday nodded.
“There is a movie we could watch then dinner?” Wednesday offered.
“Perfect,” Enid spoke. She was happy. Maybe she would collect all her stuff from home and move in with the Addams if she could…
#wednesday addams x enid sinclair#wednesday x enid#enid sinclair x wednesday addams#enid x wednesday#wenclair#wenclair fanfic#wednesday#ratboy writing#ratboy writes
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s5 episode 10 thoughts
after yesterday's trees that ate people, i am curious to see where we are going. however, i have heard that this episode and the 2 after it are very good, so i am excited to see where this takes us.
post-episode review: another contender for my (now crowded) best episodes of all time list! but take us back to yesterday...
let's read the description here... oh! this happens in a coastal town in maine? are we going to see BEACH mulder and scully? oh! this is giving me many ideas!
and yes, the description also mentions a girl and a doll i assume to be evil, but hey! maine! salt water taffy! seashells! lobsters! moose! blueberries! a quaint little motel!
ah, can you picture it? oh, do i need to write some sort of vacation fic? has this seed been planted? and will it continue to grow?
let us find out!
this girl (polly) has a creepy doll. she is glaring at her mother (melissa). she must not want to go shopping. don’t make eye contact, old lady who walks by them. that child has an evil spirit. i can tell.
“i don’t like this store, mommy” <- so does she like other stores? other grocery stores? can she sense something here that displeases her? her mother clarifies that they will only be a minute
ohhhh, when she says she wants to go home, the doll’s eyes open. don’t care for that. AND THE DOLL TALKS??
poor mom sees visions of the butcher stabbing himself in the eye?? and the cart’s wheels go wild!!!
“please, don’t do this to mommy”, melissa begs her child <- so she KNOWS that her daughter and/or the doll are somehow responsible for all this??? GIRL!!! she just needs to eat!! they haven’t invented doordash yet!! how will polly get her food?? does she have to go to a different, polly and doll approved, grocery store?? or must they simply starve??
ohhh OH THIS WOMAN IS CLAWING OUT HER EYES??? WHAT IS WITH THE EYES!?
EVERYONE IS CLAWING OUT THEIR EYES!!!! AUGH AUGH AUGH WHAT THE FUCK, POLLY?????
the butcher (dave) tries to call 911- somehow he is able to resist the call to scratch- but the fucking DOLL IS ON THE OTHER LINE???
girl. that doll needs to be thrown in the ocean NOW. you can’t be doing this to my boy dave.
NOOOO HE REALLY DOES STAB HIMSELF IN THE EYE 💔
bleurgh. bleeeugh. pour one out for dave.
and to think! i was just pondering saltwater taffy and the dynamics of coastal msr!!
ohhh, but this little town is so cute!!!! is scully on vacation???
OHHH SHE’S GETTING GAS FOR HER FANCY CAR IN A MAINE T SHIRT AND SUNGLASSES <3 ohhh…. ohhhhh… vacation scully… i am holding her so gently
(she must have been so excited to get that silly little souvenir shirt if she had it on before she even got there... and i love that for her)
who calls her at this hour? (as if we need to ask!)
“mulder, i thought we had an agreement. we were both going to take the weekend off” (he is fully in his office playing around with his chair) LMAOOOO
this man physically cannot relax. “right, right, right, i know. but i-i-i just received some information about-about a case” <- at least he seems self-conscious about the fact that he is breaking their agreement
AWW, SHE JUST WANTS TO CHILL
“you didn’t rent a convertible, did you?” “why?” “are you aware of the statistics of decapitation?” <- grown ass man playing on a chair when he says this, btw. please worry about yourself.
(it is so funny how badly he wanted to hear her voice but cannot bring himself to talk about normal human conversation topics, such as the vacation she is about to embark upon)
LMAO SHE INFORMS HIM THAT SHE IS HANGING UP LIKE HE IS A SMALL CHILD!!! AND HE SEEMS SURPRISED WHEN SHE DOES
aww, the poor man is just a loser!
(reading these notes back for editing purposes and i am STILL laughing. god, he's such a nerd.
he's thinking, "hey, i know we promised to not talk about work for 2 whole days, but i missed you. do you want to talk about work? please don't get decapitated, honey. oh man, she hung up on me :("
meanwhile, she's thinking "for the love of god. just let me have a nice vacation. yes, mulder, you want to solve a mystery, but i need a break. no, i won't get my head cut off. okay, i'm saying goodbye now. GOODBYE.")
she rolls off in her convertible. which is a mustang, btw. serve. and melissa and polly nearly run her over. she looks pissed at their erratic driving.
woah! she is at the store where the eyeball gouging just took place. she finds all of the grocery store customers with blood on their faces!!!! but luckily, most seem to have intact eyeballs.
NOOO, DAVE THE BUTCHER MIGHT BE DEAD and his eyeball is very much not intact
damn. so much for a chill vacation.
(author's note: it's so funny to me how scully was not going to let this stop her from chilling. she was going to get right back to the beach after watching a grocery store full of people claw at their own eyeballs. me, i would have been calling the whole trip off and heading home after seeing such a horrible sight. her need to relax after so many years of alien nonsense is unmatched. not even demon doll could come between this queen and her vacation)
cutscene to mulder in his office, where a distinct moaning noise is coming from his TV. oh god. and he’s sitting there with sunflower seeds. LMAO?? he’s just sitting and watching.... this. not even doing anything but snacking.
NOOOO SHE CALLS AND HEARS IT 💔 “what are you watching, mulder?” OH GOD WHAT IS HE GONNA SAY?
he claims to be watching “the deadliest swarms” <- utterly gagged at that man watching porn while just sitting in his office. stone-faced. and then lying about it. what does this say about his character?
BUT IT REALLY WAS DEADLIEST SWARMS LMAOOOO THE MAN AND WOMAN MOANING HAVE BEES IN THEIR FUCKING EYES I’M CRYINGGGGG
my asexual king. i should have never doubted you.
(author's note: still losing my mind at this as i edit, btw. i was fully convinced that mulder brought porn to his office to watch at work on the weekend, and i was thinking "well, it's not the STRANGEST thing he's done" but no. he's at work on the weekends to watch bugs sting people in the eyeballs. for research purposes. god. what a guy. i wish i could have a glimpse into if scully believed his statement or not. have they talked about this TV program before? is this what he does with his very limited time off?)
“it sounds to me like that’s witchcraft or maybe some sorcery that you’re looking for there”, he comments. “no, i don’t think it’s witchcraft, mulder, or sorcery” (said while the local policemen look on in shock at her saying those words) LMAOOO
“yeah, well, maybe you don’t know what you’re looking for”
“like evidence of conjury or the black arts, or shamanism, divination, wicca, or any kind of pagan or neo-pagan practice? charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones or hex signs, or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, santeria, vodoun, macumba, or any high or low magic?” <- LMAO she said i’ve been taking notes on your theories, boy
“scully?” “yes?” “marry me” “i was hoping for something a little more helpful” <- LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO GOD. the way her face doesn’t even change while his looks SO FUCKING SERIOUS. he's in awe of her. hold on. i had to rewatch that like three times. i'm absolutely HOWLING over here.
and to be fair, had she said that string of words to me on the phone as well, i would have reacted in the same way! i cannot fault him there.
while watching the footage of what went down at the grocery store, she notices that melissa is the only one who seems unaffected. the police seem to not believe that means anything until she politely points out that maybe they should talk to melissa about the whole situation, and then she tries to get tf out of there LMAOOO she is not going to let ANYTHING interrupt vacation time!!!!
“people here say she’s a witch” “well, that’s not the first time for that accusation in these parts” <- LMAO GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME
ohhhh, the cop says that melissa was “carrying on” with dave the butcher… who is now dead… well! that is deeply suspicious!!!
a policeman named buddy is trying to call melissa while polly and the doll listen to some old timey music. polly COMMANDS her to hang up. i fear the consequences for what will happen if melissa continues her chat.
nooooo :( buddy the cop tells melissa that dave is dead… but the doll is speaking now, because polly is being ignored!!! melissa says he can’t come here, but buddy insists on coming.
so, again, it seems melissa knows that the doll is committing the crimes….
scully arrives with the other cop, named jack, to melissa and polly's house. scully is in her killer outfit of: blazer, maine t shirt, and sunglasses. looking like a million bucks. she proceeds to do the cop's job better than he does when she notices the backdoor is wide open.
feels so strange to see scully in jeans. i make note of this special occasion
ohhh, she’s in the little girl’s room which could be sensitive for her... but she seems fine.
(author's note: i keep getting jarred by how much they are NOT acknowledging the whole emily plotline... here i was thinking that this child's room would bring scully to tears and she's just looking around, observing as always... the writers truly did not give a damn)
lore reveal: melissa’s husband died in a boating accident… or did he…?
allegedly, polly is autistic, and the daycare lady slapped her across the face after a tantrum!!! what!! you can’t do this!! scully seems shocked to hear of the slapping (but she keeps it very professional, as she always does) and then MORE shocked to hear that the daycare lady was knocked on the ground. by the little girl. but the cop said she never touched her.
yes, i am sure that the ghost doll can do impossible things, even attacking old ladies. the daycare lady got fired for the slapping (well, yes!) and the people call melissa a witch as a result (um... not her fault?)
(why are there so many people named melissa in this show? could we not get a little creative? did the writers only know of 3 or 4 names? crack open a yearbook or one of those baby names books that writers use, damn!)
omg, so the tea is that dave had a WIFE, but was still trying to get with melissa!!! but melissa did not want him like that. a queen who stays in her lane.
scully notices that the windows are all nailed shut. maybe melissa nailed the windows in because she was afraid of something getting out…? like an evil ghost doll?
buddy gives the girl polly some ice cream as he tries to question melissa in this restaurant. buddy offers to give melissa some money so she can get away. is this, like, a kindness thing? oh no, he’s in love with her, seems like. says he missed his first chance around. well. i guess we can never have a man doing the right thing out of sheer selflessness. this is TV, after all.
she says she has seen things… meanwhile polly is DEMANDING more cherries from the ice cream lady. (and polly has strange taste. i like those cherries too, but they're very strong; one or two will do the job)
melissa tells buddy that she saw dave dead before he died! and it wasn’t the first time!!! she saw her husband before he died, too! buddy seems to take this news better than expected.
ohhh, this lady at the ice cream counter says polly has to ask her mom for money to buy more cherries… i assume she does not have much longer to live
the doll opens its eyes IN THE RESTAURANT, and melissa says it’s time to go, knowing what is about to go down. buddy tries to give her a key to a place they used to go hunting, but NOOOOOO, the ice cream lady’s head is stuck in the ice cream machine!!!!!!!
melissa takes polly and the doll and they book it.
this is an injustice to food service professionals everywhere.
the other cop guy- the one named named jack- is visiting jane, the old lady from the very beginning of the episode who briefly made eye contact with polly. and scully is here too!!
okay, so jane immediately launches into saying that melissa is from a line of witches. cool, cool. this must be the lady who ran the daycare. scully looks amused as she slams the door in their faces and remarks on “new england hospitality” lmaooo
(she claims she's heard about it all her life, but never experienced it- is this her first journey to new england? like, recreationally, and not for work? omg! the cali girl is being exposed to the northeast! culture shock! she is learning the ways of mulder and his people!)
ah yes, we see as they leave that the sign on the door of jane’s house shows it’s the daycare. well, FORMER daycare.
scully wants to know if this lineage of witches thing is really all talk. and the policeman jack cannot figure out why he would want to bring melissa in. LMAO despite him being entirely incompetent at his job, scully does NOT WANT TO HELP I’M CRYING. she is PROTECTING HER PEACE!!!
melissa and polly pull up to the cabin buddy gave them the key to. ohhh, she doesn’t have any gear… and it’s winter up here. girl! how will they eat!!
polly wants her BED and her RECORDS, and the doll is AWAKE. so now melissa’s racing home after seeing a dead jane in her rear window!!!
back at her home, the records are going off… jane is here, for some reason, perhaps to investigate the loud noises despite there being no one home... and when she takes off the record off the player…. NOOOO, NOT HER STABBING HERSELF WITH THE BROKEN RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!
scully is taking a nice bubble bath, trying to relax… with some classical music…. but the phone is ringing!!! she slams the door with her foot LMAO and awww she gets out and wraps her hair in a towel <3 i love relaxed scully <3
wait, hold on, what is this book next to the phone…? allow me to pause. “affirmation for women who do too much” by adrianna carrillo… now hold on, i need to look into this…
okay, so it doesn’t seem to be a real book, but instead a play on “meditations for women who do too much”, which has a very similar book cover and was published in the 90's. huh. the more you know! i wonder if copyright laws prevented the prop team from having the real thing.
we all know that she is, in fact, a woman who does too much. so i am glad she is affirming herself.
anyway, what was going on? yes, evil doll. there's a message on the phone. she does not play it. SHE DOES TOO MUCH ALREADY!!!!
AND the policeman jack is at her door!!! noooooo, she cannot get a break!!
they find jane dead with the record player…. they're investigating at the crime scene when the cop gets a call and says "it's for you"
LMAOOO, HOW DID MULDER FIND THE POLICEMAN’S NUMBER, I’M CRYING???
(AND he says he called the hotel!! how did he find the hotel room's number?? he is a sleuth)
“hey, morning, sunshine!” he says happily (loud thumping over the phone) BAHAHA WHAT IS GOING ONNN?
he was worried about her!!! LMAOOOOO HE SAYS THEY’RE DOING CONSTRUCTION RIGHT OUTSIDE HIS WINDOW, BUT HE WAS REALLY JUST BOUNCING HIS BASKETBALL BAHAHAA
awwww, he really WAS worried... he gets separation anxiety. that damn ball of his gets good use when he is nervous!!
omg… we finally get a decent look at his wall art while he is standing there in his underwear…. it’s just houses. sort of abstract, colorful, houses. with heavy lines. hmm. i will make assumptions on his character based on this.
BAHAHA AND MULDER THINKS THERE’S A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION FOR HER CASE oh my gosh he thinks it’s dancing sickness KING, SHE KNOWS WHAT THAT IS!!!
why is the only thing this man has in his fridge a bottle of orange juice? and it is presumably expired, because he makes an awful face when he takes a sip, and then we see that it says “oct 97” on the carton, which i take it is not. so is this set in 98? early 98? since we just passed chrismas?
god. how has he stayed alive this long? is there some sort of cafeteria at the FBI he sustains himself with?
LMAO HE SPITS THE JUICE BACK OUT AND SHE HANGS TF UP BAHAHAAA
she has had enough!! she called this guy jack and said maybe we need to keep our minds open to extreme possibilities (gasp!) LMAOOO “okay, but aren’t you on vacation?” <- SHE NEEDS A RAISE!! MAYBE IF YOU COULD DO YOUR JOB, JACK, SHE COULD TAKE A VACATION FOR REAL!!
now polly and the doll are back at home, and OH, the doll is breathing as the two sleep next to each other. this is not something that i care for. melissa is trying to do something to stop the doll's reign of terror, but it opens its eyes and catches her…. so she cries downstairs. NO! not a dead buddy vision!!!!
LMAOOO meanwhile scully is utterly gagged at the size of this lobster she’s splitting with jack: “that looks like something out of jules verne. we’re supposed to eat that?” <- SHE’S SUCH A NERD I’M CRYINGGGG
she really is experiencing new england culture shock and it is hilarious
she’s trying to learn about melissa’s husband’s death as jack manhandles this lobster. the boat he died on is out the window…
this damn doll keeps replaying the hokey pokey over and over again. count your days, demon!!!
ohhh, buddy is here at melissa's place to take her into the station!!! and he sees the doll open her doll eyes….
scully is trying to figure out wtf went down the night melissa’s husband died, as she now talks to this grizzled old sailor who was there with him on that fateful evening
“i told my story to the chief”, he says; “people’s story’s change”, she answers <- ohhhh yeah, she IS a noir detective, yes ma’am!
omg, melissa's husband/polly's dad found that freaky ass doll in the ocean!!! it was the night before polly's birthday, so he thought it was a gift from the sea!! and he heard the doll talking…. and then the old grizzled fisherman found melissa’s husband with the HOOK THROUGH HIS SKULL BLEUGGHHH?
(this episode was funny but the gore was SHEESH)
ohhh, and he put together that the doll was involved when he saw them in the store that morning
(her phone rings) “oh hey, i thought you weren’t answering your cell phone” he’s TWIRLING the literal phone line while he calls her i’m CRYING this man is down TERRIBLE
OHHH HE IS TRYING TO FIND ANOTHER SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION WHEN SHE ASKS IF THERE ARE ANY REFERENCES IN OCCULT LITERATURE TO EVIL DOLLS LMAOOOO
he starts explaining and then she says that she “was just curious”, probably because his heart would be broken if he knew she found a haunted doll without him. turns out there is quite a history of them in new england!
“i would suggest that you check the back of the doll for a-a plastic ring with a string on it” (she rolls her eyes and hangs up)
LMAOOOOOO STOP my face hurts from smiling at this episode. why is he like that!
poor melissa is crying, making popcorn at the stove for the screaming polly, while BUDDY IS DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!!! NO MELISSA!!
she hammers the windows and doors shut even more…. but the doll cannot stand the pounding!!! and melissa sees herself dead in the window!!!! nooo!
scully and jack roll up just in time to either save the day or watch it get much, much worse.
omfg is melissa gonna set the whole house on fire?????? but she can’t get a match to light!!!! the doll keeps blowing it out!!!
from outside the house, scully sees buddy dead on the floor!!!! and the doll won’t let melissa grab a knife!!!! but the demon doll somehow opens up the locked cabinet and gets the hammer!!!!
scully is absolutely SLAMMING herself into that door to open it, but NOOOO the doll says “i don’t like you anymore” and makes melissa take the hammer and JAM IT IN HER OWN FACE?!?!?!?!?!?
scully and jack finally break in!! scully takes the doll away from polly despite her many refusals and PUTS IT IN THE MICROWAVE?? YAAAS THE DEMON CATCHES FIRE!!!!!!!!! scully is very dramatically watching that doll burn….
(this had me absolutely CRYING. she had no time for science that day. she was on vacation. if there is going to be an evil demon doll while she is off the clock, she is going to throw that mfer in the microwave and watch it go up in flames. extreme possibilities are allowed, but ONLY when it is not her duty to save the world.)
((also laughing that the doll was able to put out matches and throw knives and make people gouge out their eyes, but scully putting her in the microwave was so unpredictable this demon had zero defense against it. that, or her catholic powers simply neutralized the evil presence, rendering the doll immobile in her godly hands. i choose to imagine it is a combination of both))
while mulder is sharpening a ton of pencils and putting them in rows back in the office LMAOOOO
scully finally returns to the basement office! she tells mulder she wants to send his famous wall poster to "some guy named jack"!!! he seems unbothered by this, whereas i was shocked! and then she denies doing any work on the case while up there, saying she was just on vacation. ah, if only we could have seen her frolicking on the beach after those incidents.
what did mulder get up to while she was away? “oh god, i mean, it’s amazing what i can accomplish without incessant meddling or questioning into everything i do” (pencils begin to fall on him from the ceiling, as we pan up and see like, 40 pencils launched up there) LMAOOO
“there’s got to be an explanation” “some things are better left unexplained” fair enough
a cutscene back to maine... NOOOO, another fisherman hauls out the haunted doll while the hokey pokey ominously plays in the background 💔
i hope he promptly tossed her back into the watery grave. let her torment some fish instead.
so, final thoughts: scully putting the doll in the microwave… she really is THE final girl, huh?
this episode was soooo silly. i loved it. mulder had no brain cells. scully took a bath and made a friend who she wants to send a poster to. she is gagged by lobster. lmaoooooooo mulder missed her SO bad, he was trying to do science to impress her, bahaha. and she had her little maine shirt on!!! the role reversal of him being the science-centered one because he wants to talk to her that badly, and her being the one willing to deal with demons for a few days also killed me.
def going on the list of faves.
i think it is so funny that she was so focused on relaxing for once in her life that she truly did not give a single fuck if that doll was possessed or not. normally she would be scrambling for explanations, and today she simply did not have the time. she wanted to take a nice bubble bath, listen to orchestral music, read her little book, and if a demon was going to get in the way of that, then she would simply stop it and move along with her roadtrip. and i think that is beautiful.
and to answer my earlier question: YES, i still want a REAL joint msr vacation fic with REAL relaxation and REAL saltwater taffy and splashing and no murder dolls, but maybe like ONE ghost tour because new england is old and spooky, and then mulder can ask if they want to get married for real and they can go hiking or some other nerd activity and be happy forever and always <3 the end!
#big smile on my face after this one#i am also questioning how mulder made it this far in life#while i thought he was reduced a bit excessively to comic relief this is a very minor complaint in the grand scheme of things#trying to imagine telling grumpy “i work alone” mulder from the pilot that he would call his partner like 800 times on her vacation#and i think it was a nice mirroring of 3x12 how it was her turn to have a solo mission#i love a scully centered episode! i am not that hard to please in life!#cannot stop laughing at her announcing she is going to hang up like he is a small child lmaoooo#5x10#the x files#txf#juni's x files liveblog
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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Hey guys can we like please love “ugly” trans women? Can we please love fat trans women? I just really think we should love all trans women thanks
#okay story time#news has a segment about the ‘very demure very mindful’ girl y’know the one#and I’m all excited because holy shit trans woman success story!!! (she got enough money from the trend to medically transition wooo!!!)#all of a sudden my mom talks about how ugly she is and body shames her?????#and I tried shutting that shit down immediately I was like ‘that’s so rude literally what did she do to you?’#then my mom is like ‘I’m also fat so I can say that’ NO YOU CAN’T???? I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU’RE FAT DON’T BE RUDE TO PEOPLE???????#like genuinely it was mind boggling that negativity came out of nowhere#she ask kept misgendering her as ‘they’ even though it was mentioned twice that she’s a trans woman and the newscasters used she/her#idk that shit just really pissed me off#she’s such a hypocrite too. like if there’s fat models in a commercial it’s fine (which I agree ofc)#but as soon as a fat trans woman is not conventionally attractive it’s some big issue and we have to make mean comments about it#fuck off with that shit#anyways I just really had to vent about that I was FUMING#usually parents are disappointed in their kids not the reverse#trans women#trans#transgender#queer#transfem
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That post about huge red flags from exes is going around and I’m like well mine requires some background reading
#xrdslog#um basically. made a bet they could convince me to kiss them and constantly hinted at it until it happened and then bragged about it a lot#then I told them I was aro#then we got a headmate that they had a crush on and started dating#and then used that to argue that I should date them bc it’s easier if it’s both of us#and then prioritized me over him#also: this headmate is one I have a father and son relationship with#so what the hell#also told me they fixated on people and they still loved me but they were fixated on their friend so couldn’t give me attention#their friend who they called their not-girlfriend. because that friend’s husband wasn’t comfortable with her being poly#and they still wanted to date her so they just called her that instead#gifted me an expensive adult toy and then took it and gave it to said not girlfriend#which. ok sure. but then why tell me it was a gift#demanded to talk to certain headmates and made a big fuss about knowing exactly who did what even though they were rarely correct#pushed me away whenever they were sad and then was upset I wasn’t comforting them#I baked banana bread once on a whim and then they constantly made me make it for them when I didn’t want to#NEEDED music playing at night and fans on them and they got upset if I didn’t want to sleep by them even though I couldn’t#‘pretended’ to choke me when I got a rare item in final fantasy before them#wanted to rp with me but demanded I start it because they were tired of starting rps with their friend. ok. not my fault ?#more than once tried to get me to sign a lease with them even though I had no money or job#got mad at me because my art was good? and they didn’t think theirs was or that they were creative?#did not ever compliment me without an insult attached for the last three years of our relationship#constantly tried to talk about sex or illegal things in front of my mom#constantly bragged about how they were going to become rich when their grandma died and hoped it happened soon#The Entire Trauma Part where they barely comforted me at all#oh also I spent basically sixteen hours a day in VC with them every day and they broke up with me for not spending enough time with them#even though I could not Possibly have spent More time with them#there is more than this. but this is off the top of my head. lol.
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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i had so much fun last night omg
#the dragon's parade!!!#cause it's the great dragon weekend here in kraków now#so we finally went out with friends#i always miss those losers we don't really see each other often but i love them sm#then we went to drink at my bestie's place & he finally told them he's gay (i was the only one in the group who knew)#i'm proud of him tbh#also it's so funny cause our friend said she was always intrigued by our relationship#and she was like 99% sure there was something going on between me & him shdhhdhdh#and i can't blame her cause she's not the only person#my mom keeps asking me if he's REALLY gay like at least once a week#also his parents keep asking him about me & they say i'm pretty & that MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON HERE#like... no#hell no#he's my little brother i would fucking murder everyone who ever tries to hurt him#but no that's it hdhdhdhdh#i never talk about those kind of stuff so i'm not sure if he knows but i think he knows (i hope he knows)#it's so funny tho i just think we give the same kind of energy#so when people see us together there's this weird kind of chemistry there but like... not in a romantic way#more in a “hey this dude knows all of my secrets & i know all of his as well” kind of way#idk can't explain i'm happy tho & kinda relieved at the same time cause i don't really like secrets#anyway yesterday was fuuuuun <3#i came back home around 5am i'm exhausted#please give me all the coffee in the world#but sincerely can you hear me?*
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Thinking thoughts about these tags at work today.
#specifically#armand knowing daniel's book has put his adult daughters directly in the line of retributive fire from other vampires#does he sit back and wait for the inevitable or does he intervene? does he use them as bait to catch vamps who would hurt daniel or louis?#we never got the blood amulet on daniel before he was turned and now he doesnt need it. armand's blood is in his veins.#what if armand gives one (or two) to daniel's daughters? but how to make them wear it without revealing himself?#daniel or kate finding the amulet in lenora's apartment after she's murdered.#armand visiting kate's home afterward incognito and opening his wrist to bleed om the bushes outside as a warning#I DONT KNOW MAN I DONT KNOW#also i am very attached to the idea of kate learning about vampires when she and her family are attacked and armand saves them#just because now armand controls the narrative#kate puts together that daniel became a vampire without telling her or her sister and then put a giant target on all their backs#and so when daniel starts arguing with armand about how he had met with lenora without telling him#and then revealed himself to kate and the grandkids#she takes ARMAND'S side because at least he was HONEST. at least he TRIED to protect them!#messy messy messy!#daniel holding up the blood amulet he found in lenora's things: and what you thought giving her this bullshit was gonna protect her?#kate: what are you talking about#kate: YOU gave her that when she was a kid.#daniel: wh--#kate: you gave ME the same necklace when I was like 8. I opened it on christmas morning.#kate: you even sent sybelle one when she was born#kate: i thought it was some kind of weird tradition from mom's side of the family in the old country...#daniel: ...#daniel: armand.#daniel: why did my daughters have vials of your blood as children.#armand: ... can we talk about this in private#(he says as they all stand in the middle of the freeway in California with Lestat's overturned tour bus on fire behind them)
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oops! all wips
#dndads#1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like#manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is#a bad dad#close family dinner for each day of the week#i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals#i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run#into eachother while theyre walking home#and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like#well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing#on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits#the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience#but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love#you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start#spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest#look of conflicted sympathy and pain#and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just#be like i know#and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play#and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up#god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not#to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to#one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the#validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he#isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her#last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him
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saw my dad yesterday, and he told me he's started watching fringe because, and i quote "i know you were really into that show and it has that actress you love so much."
other things he told me:
"i'd seen her in mindhunter, i barely recognized her. she was MUCH YOUNGER wasn't she?"
"i didn't expect the show to be so...out there, not sure i like it. does it get better?"
#i told him to keep going#that the sci-fi actually gets even more far stretched but so do the feeeeels#the fact that no one in my family understands/shares my love for fringe will always sadden me#but they do all acknowledge my love for a certain australian unicorn#which is so funny because i promise you i do not talk about her often in real life#but the few times i do are memorable clearly#mom watching mindhunter a few years back: 'i watched that show. it had your wife in it'#also my dad and i don't have the best relationship right now so the fact that he went and tried watching fringe because he knows i love it#it's giving me feels
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honestly. it's so fucking frustrating and disheartening. that the only thing making me hesitant to cleanly cut contact with my mom, the thing that still looms after cutting away from my dad........ is that when they both finally bite it, that's two houses to sell. that's money that may mean *i* get to have my own house someday.
the key to the security my parents failed to give me from the moment i was born lies in their deaths. the least they can do. the very fucking *least* is to leave me the means to build that security on my own. they owe me so much more than that, but realistically? that small act of restitution is all i can and will ask for.
until then? i want nothing to do with them.
#the comments of the article i'm reading involves people discussing their reasons for not going no contact with both parents#one of which being that they're not ready to be an orphan yet#and fuck. i know it's more complicated than this but. i've *always* been an orphan#i've wanted to let my parents go for a very long time#it took longer to do my due dilligence in giving my mom eight million chances but. those chances have come and gone#i don't want to do the work to whittle down our interactions. i don't think our relationship is worth carving it down to 'we can talk for 20#minutes once a month about light topics only. i don't want to hear about your sisters or my dad again thanks'#i get nothing out of that#i feel like now that i've Made Up My Mind (finally. it took so fucking long 😢) i'm obligated to give her one last chance#after outlining the New Rules#but she's an adult. as one commenter said '[s]he was always capable of respecting you.'#my mom is an adult. for all the work she's done on herself#she could've caught on that benting about her sisters every time we talk is not an appropriate topic of conversation#she could have noticed all the times i tried to interrupt her when she was here. not even to interrupt her to stop her from talking but#interrupting her so i could PARTICIPATE in the conversation#she is an ADULT and she is capable of looking at our interactions and seeing that they need improvement#there are certain boundaries that polite well adjusted people do not need to deliberately express to expect to have them respected#my mother is responsible for identifying those boundaries and that work. no i can't expect her to read my mind and intuit my boundaries#without me saying so. but i CAN expect her to ask my consent before discussing heavy topics. i CAN expect her to be self aware enough to#allow me to participate in conversations with her#i CAN expect her to manage her emotions to not be a volatile monster just waiting to trauma dump or explode#it is not my responsibility to teach her basic interpersonal decency#and i don't need to give her the eight million and one'th chance to prove she can be respectful this time#she was always capable of respecting me. she just chose not to#venting her feelings and being in her triggers is more important to her#and i sincerely hope she'll stay tangled in those feelings and not bring out the gaslighty 'i'll do anything to keep you in my life!!!!!!'#because. clearly. she will not.#she was always capable of respecting me. and emotional manipulation is not a part of that#personal#i just want to get my parents dying over with so i can afford a down payment on a fucking house
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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god sometimes i wish the whole "you wouldn't say/do that to a physically disabled person" lie that certain mentally ill people say was true bc i fucking WISH i could use "I'm in a wheelchair" as a gotcha for people being ableist against me. unfortunately,
#so my psych that I'm dropping the SECOND i get a new (better) one#like that whole facility. they DO have telehealth/video appointments#but they fucking?????? make the PATIENT DRIVE TO THE BUILDING FOR THE APPOINTMENT#WHILE THE DOCTOR IS AT FUCKING HOME. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO GO INTO HER OFFICE WHEN SHE'S NOT EVEN THERE?????#like it's actually fucking ridiculous AND they NEVER get interpreters when requested AND they ONLY allow to schedule by PHONE#like- my Deaf mother literally physically cannot communicate with them because they refuse to speak to a video phone interpreter#or let her talk to them in person or via email. it actually pisses me off so fucking much#and like. most doctors offices. if you're late they give you 15 minutes before they declare you a no show and cancel#that place gives FIVE MINUTES. i walked in SIX MINUTES LATE one day and BEGGED them to just let me do the appointment#and they still refused#so i was out of meds for like. two weeks. anyway#the last straw was the last TWO times i went i was in my wheelchair#and the doors. open inwards to the rooms#so they closed me in the room for the appointment#and i PHYSICALLY COULDN'T GET OUT because i COULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR because there wasn't enough wheelchair space#and i had to frantically text my mom to let me out and SHE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR IT when i was SOBBING#bc i had tried genuinely screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to let me out of the room but nobody fucking heard me#and the second time i told the nurse 'HEY I CAN'T GET OUT OF HERE WITH MY CHAIR' and she was like 'don't worry I'll come get you'#she never did. i had to get my mom again#not fucking going back there ever again they've only ever pissed me off more with every single interaction#oh also they only let you schedule new appointments after they SEND YOU A LETTER SAYING YOU CAN CALL TO SCHEDULE NOW#if you call before then they DON'T LET YOU#and they give literally fucking 3-5 day later appointments when I've requested SEVERAL times I NEED A TWO WEEK NOTICE FOR WORK#also they don't give a shit about cutting you off your medicine cold turkey and not refilling it until several requests later#fuck that place. i hope every good doctor there finds a better job and the building gets abandoned and crumbles to the ground.
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