#im definitely not projecting anything.

[vivitalks]

more adhd jason grace or die by my sword

[hyperfixation-fix]

Aight so.

Just reblogged a post that mentioned Nico canonically having depression (totally agree), but I wanted to talk about my other headcanons around Nico's mental health AND MORE IMPORTANTLY his recovery journey.

(AN IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm very wary of talking about headcanons involving mental illness, bc it can easily cross the line into romanticising mental illness. I grew up in that kind of online space, and it's toxic af and makes recovery almost impossible. So I want to emphasise, especially for younger fans who read this - Nico gets better, canonically and in my headcanons. So did I. So will you. It takes work, and often it's not a painless or pretty process, but it's so much better than letting yourself rot away in the dark. Romanticise being well, being happy, and getting better.)

In my head, Nico is autistic. But I think he's been so traumatised and so dissociated for so long that he doesn't even really realise how much things affect him, how much easier things could be if he gave himself permission to be the way he is.

FOR EXAMPLE. I think he is specifically very sensory-sensitive, but he's so disconnected from his body and brain that he doesn't really realise it. He just always feels Bad™️ and has never been safe enough to figure out why. So then, once he gets comfortable at CHB and really starts to finally feel safe and present, he starts to slowly untangle things bit by bit. Will is a big part of this - he's very intuitive and notices stress queues in Nico before Nico even realises he's stressed.

It starts off with Will noticing Nico avoiding crowds, which isn't necessarily weird for a kid who spent the last several years with ghosts, but then he realises it's not actually the people that bother him. It's the noise. Like, Nico avoids the Apollo Cabin as much as possible, even when it's completely empty except for Will, bc it's constantly got music playing a little too loud. Nico doesn't even really know why he doesn't like it and doesn't really bother thinking much about it, but Will is like "huh that's interesting". And, as he gets closer with Nico, that pattern becomes more and more apparent - in noisy places, Nico becomes tense and guarded, but in quiet places he's more relaxed. Then Will notices Nico's sensitivity to textures. Some clothes are consistently "grumpy Nico clothes" and some are "happy Nico clothes".

Will decides to run little experiments, making subtle changes around Nico and taking note of Nico's reaction. For example, suggesting Nico change clothes before a date because "I like the black jeans better" ie "the black jeans are a softer denim and stiff denim makes you grumpy". Or swapping out Nico's sheets bc "whoops my bad, I was practicing wound cleaning and spilled supplies all over them! But don't worry, I've replaced them with a new set so it's all good," ie "your sheets were cheapass 100% cotton and rough af and that's why you haven't had a good night's sleep like, ever, so here's a high-quality satin (or whatever, idk fabrics) set that probably won't bother you as much." And lo and behold, Nico sleeps like a baby every night after that. Or orchestrating a whole plan to get Nico into the Apollo Cabin when it's quiet (music gets turned low, siblings are threatened with weeks of dish duty if they don't keep it down), and seeing if he's less on edge. AND HE IS.

And eventually Nico picks up on Will's increasingly elaborate accommodation experiments (Will is simply having way too much fun at this point - he feels super sneaky, finds it hilarious that Nico still isn't noticing, and also just loves seeing Nico less stressed out) and is like "Solace I know you're up to something, out with it or else." And at that point Will is like "ok bet" and pulls out a fucking spreadsheet (Annabeth taught him how to use excel (yeh I know demigods don't vibe with tech but this is my headcannon so deal with it) with great joy and little-to-no interest in why he actually wanted to learn) with a bunch of Nico's triggers and sensitivities and the success rates of different accommodations. Nico is like "I'm actually going to kill you, you've been fucking with my brain for months????" but is barely containing how curious he is and how sweet he actually finds it that Will has thought so much about how to make Nico happy. But Will knows, especially when Nico, even while grumbling, takes the spreadsheet with him.

The next day Will presents Nico with a present he was saving for the final big-reveal: some loop earplugs or something similar. Discrete and practical 😌 Will just leaves them next to Nico's bed with a cute lil sticky note that says "Before you orchestrate my untimely demise as promised, give these a go. Consider it the last request of a dead man walking ;) love you Neeks x".

And that's that. The earplugs make a massive difference, much to Nico's surprise and Will's smug satisfaction, and from then on Nico starts to reconnect with himself and gets better and better at recognising things that make him more comfortable, and using them. Will considers his experiment over (a resounding success, of course), but is unwaveringly supportive and helpful as Nico figures stuff out.

Lol that became very long sorry, but it made me happy to write it out hehehe

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Some mild existential dread in the house today

[sailorsun546]

I need to watch Angel's Egg again

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

i think ppl can and should project onto fictional characters. that's kind of what they're for a lot of the time. even if in the story they dont have the exact same experiences the audience can still find similarities with them and it's empowering to headcanon that, because of these similarities, the character has a similar identity to you. a lot of writers purposely give their characters experiences similar to marginalized groups to make those groups feel seen.

that being said, if you project your own experiences onto your blorbos you HAVE to be able to tell when the story is purposely making the character a metaphor for your experiences and when the story is. not doing that. just because you personally relate to a character doesn't mean the character literally is your marginalized identity. and it definitely doesn't mean that the writers hate your marginalized identity, specifically, if they don't do what you want them to do with that character.

[rolandkaros]

it is finished.

[skyburger]

i love reading things set in countries that i'm knowledgeable and/or have been to because i can point out really minor errors in fanfiction. i think the average american does not know that in england (and apparently some of asia! which i only just found out) there are switches on power outlets so you can just turn it off instead of unplugging it. like 9 times out of 10 that won't come up but on the off chance it does i'm like ohoho. this clown has never been to england...! my favorite part though is watching americans (specifically americans because i swear to god people who speak english as a second language and/or are from any other country have some idea of what it's like to have an accent / personally know people who have accents? idk) try to write british accents like it is REALLY funny. i literally only lived their for five years and i never picked up a full accent myself (certain words and tones i did but they're mostly gone after living in the states again for a few years) but between living there and having a ridiculous amount of family there & visiting them often (like once a year if im lucky) i like KNOW what british accents sound like. i think some americans genuinely dont even know theres more than one or two english accents i think some people think there's like posh english and chav english and nothing else. maybe scottish accent gets thrown in there if they remember the uk is not in fact just england. i would bet real money they've never heard a welsh accent. anyway my point is it's really funny watching people who don't know as much as i do write this stuff. like i see it and i understand how doctors read this and go Oh that is so medically inaccurate. i get them now. anyway i dont remember what my point here was but please know if you are attempting to write a british accent. reddit and youtube are your best friends if you don't have a british friend you can ask and also rest assured even if you do ONE google search. it will not be the worst attempt ive seen guaranteed

[tchaikovskym]

im at this point in life where i cannot simply shrink my CV to one page. i have to leave out crucial information

[orcelito]

Worst thing about having taken business classes is that I see people complain about bullshit companies are pulling and a part of my brain goes "Oh, that's an effective tactic for cost reduction" or something around those lines. And then the part of my brain that is Not a wannabe businessman is just like "Bro."

[fettery-fetterie]

GIRL HELP WDYM I REACHED 30 TAGS??????? OMG???? I WASN'T EVEN DONE YET

ANYWAYS 31st: and that compared to a relationship where the communication lines are basically none or very fucking weak then yeah it is an upgrade I think. Idfk I was never in a relationship I'm just picking from the ones I've seen in my life

[eclarinet]

same soup... different day

[quietwingsinthesky]

i think lucifer should get vocal stims too and specifically that if he’s in pain, he’ll start humming

[bibereangelum]

i literally have no way to put it but sometimes mattelektra has the vibes of like. a lesbian’s first relationship. ur irrevocably in love, ur going to do years worth of psychological damage to each other.

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

All my friends are heathens

A song–inspired piece of Writing about Audrey meeting some of the Isle kids with Anthony Tremaine.

Good news: I finally figured out a plot.

Bad news: That took me 2,5k words to do. So there might be a second part.

Enjoy?

Gods know why Audrey agreed to this.

(Actually, hopefully they don’t; however, the gods are nosey bitches. As are the fey. Audrey has had enough fey and magic for quite some time, thank you for asking.)

So she just wrinkles her nose as she sidesteps some flasks and a piece of cloth on the sidewalk.

„Why are we here again?“ she asks Anthony Tremaine, who walks besides her and who invited her along.

„Because you wanted to get to know my– you wanted to get to know other Isle kids, if I so recall,“ he says.

He’s correct, of course. She did want that, as a bragging rights if nothing else. That’s her go to excuse, anyway: „It’s good for my public image; the Isle kids need help. It’s my duty as the princess of Ulstred and Auroria to help them on their journey, just as our king does!“

A sound reasoning her grandmother shouldn’t argue with. (She does anyway.)

All in all, Anthony is correct. He just has no right to say that out loud.

„I meant,“ she sniffs and turns her nose up, „Why are we here?“ she gestures around the dark aley, screamed-out part of the Capital and the higher circles of society pretend doesn’t exist. Harsh notes can be heard if one listens, and raised voices; glass shards glisten under neon lights.

„Any problem, princess?“

„Yes! No– What are you doing in this part of the town, Lord Tremaine?“

„Why, Audrey dear,“ he smirks at her, „This place reminds us of home.“ Us – the Isle kids. He gestures around with the same fake smile and counts on his fingers: „Dark and rotten, just like home. This place sells alcohol for cheap, and with no ID. No one cares. Besides,“ his smirk widens, „It’s not like any other place would have us.“

Audrey has the decency to look sorry for that, and enough wits not to actually apologise. Instead, she sniffs hauntingly and says: „I see how it is.“

Anthony opens the door for her and holds it open: „Why, is this beneath you, Audrey Rose?“

„Absolutely,“ she agrees as she walks around him and steps into the bar; noises and smells assault her senses. If that alone wouldn’t stop her, his hand on her elbow would.

„You ready?“

„Yeah, of course. How bad could your friends possibly be?“

It’s not like they’d kill her. Right?

He shakes his head. „I don‘t think you understand. All my friends, as you call them – don’t do that, by the way, – are heathens. Only one of the bunch who has any sort of manners is Harriet, and, well. She won’t bother. So, for the love of whatever is dear to you, take it slow. And don’t make any sudden moves.“

No sudden moves. That’s not unnerving at all. Absolutely not.

„Let’s go.“ He offers her his arm as they walk down the few steps into the bar. Pub. Whatever. They weave through the tables and Audrey tries to ignore the sticky floors under her shoes; she looks down at it in distaste. Which is probably a good thing, because she misses the stares directed at her and how quickly the eyes snap away when Anthony glares at them.

All eyes but two pairs.

Audrey and Anthony stop in front of a table in the corner, because of course it’s the corner table. It makes sense in Audrey’s mind, something about Isle kids and watching their backs.

She raises her hand to wave at the people there, all of which are rather obnoxiously ignoring her, but Anthony swats her arm down. „Absolutely not–“ he hisses.

„Excuse me for trying to be nice,“ she hisses back.

„You’re excused,“ he says without missing a beat, and Audrey gasps at the audacity, not exaggerating in the slightest.

Then Anthony goes round introducing everyone: Harriet Hook, who just looks at her with icy cold eyes that she shares with her brother and that make Audrey click her jaw into place, earning her a small nod of approval.

Beside Harriet, Ginny Gothel, who blows her an air kiss and gets back to pulling at her curls; „Ginny–“ Anthony sighs at that, but moves along, introducing Mad Maddy next.

Audrey isn’t too sure if she wants to know why she’s called Mad, but she is quite certain she’ll find out anyway.

Last person sitting at the table is Sammy Smee, who actually nods at Audrey in greeting. Audrey smiles at them.

„Where’s Dulcia?“ Anthony complains, „She said she’d be there. Dulcia – my eldest cousin,“ he adds for Audrey’s benefit. She remembers both Anthony and Dizzy talking about some Dulcia, but hasn’t met her yet. Neither had Chad, probably, but that’s hard to tell. He’s too busy complaining about Anthony anyway; and Audrey hadn’t spoken with Queen Cinderella in quite a while. Ever since her Queen of Mean episode, to be exact.

She should probably do that, instead of meeting with vaguely stabby looking Isle kids in a bar with neon lights and a name that’s more of a curse than anything else.

She ignores that thought and instead sits at the chair Sammy pointed out for her just as Ginny pipes up: „Yeah, Dulcia’s over there, playing poker with the Gaston twins.“

„Dulcia!“ Anthony raises his voice, „Come greet our guest!“

„Can’t, cousin dearest,“ she shouts back at him, „I’m a bit busy right now, and I’m winning!“

„You’re playing with the Gastons.

„Shut up, Gothel; are you jealous?“

„Why would I be?“

Audrey tones out the rest of the conversation for her own sanity. (She didn’t need to hear that much crude innuendos in such a short time, thank you for asking.)

…And also because Harriet Hook is leaning towards her and staring at her, and Audrey finds herself suddenly quite afraid for her own life.

„Didn’t expect a royal visit today,“ Harriet Hook states, not bothering to make it sound like a question. She has a half empty glass of whiskey in front of her.

„Life is full of surprises, isn’t it?“ Audrey says idly and straightens her skirt. She should have listened to Anthony and worn trousers tonight, or at least a longer skirt.

Harriet just narrows her eyes at her, dragging her fingertip round the trim of her glass. She looks as if she’s just been grievously offended and Audrey doesn’t dare guess how. Harriet’s glare doesn’t lessen a bit when Ginny basically climbs into her lap to make room for Anthony who slides next to them, or when the two of them kiss. Or when Anthony kisses her cheek.

It would be almost impressive if it hadn't been so– Audrey finds herself making a face at the display.

„You’ll get used to it,“ Sammy says with a resigned tone as they clasp her shoulder for a brief moment, and Audrey doubts that, really.

„Get a room, you three!“ screeches Maddy, and now, that sentiment Audrey can get behind.

Unfortunately, it only encourages the three of them to make out more. Exhibitionists. In turn, that causes Maddy to screech more, both the trio and at any onlookers.

Ginny shows Maddy the middle finger, and says: „Only getting a room if you’re paying, sweetheart.“

„Absolutely NOT–!“

„Or the princess her could pay,“ Ginny suggests slyly, and honestly, at this point Audrey is tempted to agree.

„Excuse me?!“ she protests anyway.

„Yes, Ginny, have some manners,“ reminds Anthony, tugging at Ginny’s hair, and Audrey quickly looks away, „We have a royal visit.“

„You didn’t care about manners much few moments ago, Lord Tremaine,“ Audrey reminds him in the most haughty tone she can muster.

„Oh, I like this one,“ Harriet cackles, „She has a bite! But really, is she paying?“

Under normal circumstances, Audrey would be insulted over being talked about as if she weren’t here, however, she quickly decides, it’s better than being glared halfway to hell. She doesn’t deem it worthy of an answer, though.

Dulcia and the Gaston twins walk over and settle themselves at their table too, which hasn’t got nothing to do with the motion of possible free stuff, Audrey is sure.

„Move over,“ Dulcia nudges her cousin and Maddy, while the twins just steal chairs from a neighbouring table. Good for them.

One of them also moves his chair entirely close to Audrey’s for her liking, and she leans away a bit–

„Don’t even try that, Junior,“ Anthony snaps, and the boy moves to respectable distance.

„When will you learn that not everyone likes you, really, Junior?“ Ginny Gothel sighs, leaning further into Harriet, and great, now she and Dulcia are arguing again. Both Gaston twins look completely dumbfounded by the situation.

„You want a drink, princess?“ Anthony ignores the ruckus, and, why, yes. Audrey could do with a drink. She nods.

„Well, what do you drink?“

„What do they have?“ Audrey is fairly sure they won’t have her favourite drinks here. Or any cocktails at all, or champagne.

And sure enough, Harriet starts reciting the drinks-menu, which so far consists of various shots of rum and whiskey. She seems to have it memorised.

„Do they have any long drinks?“ Audrey interrupts her.

„Sure,“ the pirate Captain scoffs, and she’s definitely judging her, „I suppose they could make you some.“ She kicks back the rest of her whiskey.

Anthony nudges her to play nice, and she starts listing the drinks: Vodka-soda. Rum and coke. Vodka with juice, though she isn’t actually sure if they have juice. Gin and tonic.

„Could they give me pink gin and tonic?“ Audrey interrupts. Aesthetic, you see.

„Anything for the princess, sure,“ drawls Harriet, moving Ginny’s curls around her shoulder. Audrey feels judged again.

„I suppose you want a drink too, Captain?“ Anthony continues without missing a beat.

„You know what I want,“ Harriet smiles at him, more teeth than anything else, and Audrey looks away. Just in time, because they kiss again. Of course they do.

„I’ll try to get your pink stuff, Rose,“ Anthony says over his shoulder as he walks away. Audrey doesn’t bother yelling out her thanks over the ruckus around.

„You’re not drinking?“ she asks Sammy, as they’re the only one who doesn’t have a drink, or aren’t yelling at Anthony to get them one.

„Can’t,“ Sammy shrugs, „Not when this one is drinking. Gotta make sure she doesn’t murder anybody.“ They gesture to Harriet, hands mostly under the table, but she seems preoccupied again. „Or hurt herself. You know how it goes.“

Audrey doesn’t know. „Surely it can’t be that bad,“ she says anyway.

„Oh, you don’t know half of it,“ Sammy laughs, „She’s a Hook.“

As if that explained everything.

One of the Gaston twins nods, as if it really did.

„I mean, I know her siblings…“ Audrey trails away.

„See?“ gestures Sammy, and yeah. Maybe she doesn’t want to. Have they considered that?

They have not considered that. Obviously.

No one really cares how Audrey feels, but at least this time it isn’t personal.

„Anyway,“ Ginny announces to the table, „Going out, be right back. Maddy, Dulcia?“ She stands up, letting Harriet’s lingering hand fall down, and Audrey isn’t looking at that.

She’d like to know where are they going, though.

„Trois, go with them,“ says Harriet when the trio of the girls is already halfway through the room.

„Absolutely not!“ Ginny spins around to glare at the pirate captain and at Gaston the Third too.

„I said!“ snaps Harriet back.

„I don’t need a bloody bodyguard!“ yells Ginny. Said bodyguard gets no input at all, and Maddy and Dulcia linger by the door.

A knife plunges deep into the table and Audrey flinches away violently. She looks at Harriet’s hand on the weapon, white knuckles and all, and barely hears Ginny as she reluctantly allows Trois to come with.

Audrey blinks a few times: What just happened?

„So sorry about that,“ Harriet says, not sounding sorry at all, „Now, I heard something about my siblings? What did they do?“

„Yeah, but,“ Audrey struggles with her words and gestures around, „Where did they go?“

„They just went for a smoke,“ says Sammy Smee, unconcerned.

„Yeah, and they wouldn’t share, bloody bitches.“

„…Why wouldn’t they share cigarettes?“ asks Audrey, mildly confused. Smoking is not pretty, but it’s not a crime, and it’s something social. Not that Audrey would know, of course.

„Audrey, honey.“ Anthony gets back with their drinks, „They have weed at the very least, and the mighty Captain Hook here isn’t allowed that. Isn’t that right, Harriet?“

Sammy just solemnly nods while Harriet mutters something like „I hate you and I will kill you painfully,“ and yanks her glass from Anthony, downing half of it at once. He just kisses her hair before sitting down, and Audrey can’t help but stare at the entire scene, utterly bewildered.

„Hopefully they’ll be less snappy when they come back,“ Anthony says, and: „Didn’t have any pink stuff,“ as he slides a glass to her. Audrey takes a sip and almost chokes on the vile oleum-like liquid, earning a mean laugh from Harriet and a pat on the back from Sammy.

She drinks again.

„I’d like to hear it too, what CJ and Harry are up to,“ Anthony says.

„Well, last time I saw Harry, he tried to kill me,“ Audrey says. To be fair, she was very much trying to curse him at the time, so, she can’t really blame him. She tries not to blame him, at least. Before she can add the context, though, Harriet nods, sipping her drink again, and says „Yeah. Yeah, he does that,“ with a bloody smile.

And, excuse me? Is she smiling about her attempted murder?

„Excuse– Sorry?!“ Audrey sputters, „I just said he tried to kill me!“

„And I said he does that. Ma’s fault, totally, and Uma’s too. He’d fistfight a god if he thought he’d like it.“

Audrey is way too busy trying to process the words „Ma’s fault,“ to worry about anything else. Here she was, thinking that Captain James Hook was the dangerous parent, but apparently not.

„And Calista?“ Harriet interrupts Audrey’s thoughts.

„Hmm?“

„Calista Jane. CJ. Little, blonde, wears red, likes to threaten death to people?“ lists Harriet.

„Kidnapped the king at the Neon Lights Ball?“ adds Anthony helpfully.

„Yeah no I know who that is.“ Audrey shakes her head to get her thoughts straight, „She’s been over there for ages, she’s a menace– I think she keeps stealing my grandma’s tiaras.“

„Sounds like CJ, alright,“ mutters Sammy Smee, dodging a lazy blow at their shoulder by Harriet. „You know I’m correct, Captain.“

„They are, Ettie,“ agrees Anthony, sipping his own drink. He leans away as Harriet swats at his shoulder too.

„Anyway,“ Harriet leans closer to Audrey, „Any chance you’d be up for babysitting that menace?“

„Please, say yes–“ Sammy. If Audrey would have to guess, she’d say they’re the one forced to babysit CJ normally.

„Isn’t she like fourteen now?“ Audrey asks instead.

„Yeah, and? Would you?“

„…I’ll think about it,“ answers Audrey, because the night is young and because she still has her drink, and because honestly?

It’s not like she has anything better to do.

[pineappical]

Ted Lasso hcs bc I have so many....

Ted is autistic. There are zero allistic explanations for anything he does.

He also has ADHD

He's bi (I mean obviously) and he's known for a while. He just says he's straight bc he thinks it's easier to say that than to explain bisexuality to straight people who just don't get it.

Trent had no idea he was bi and is shocked to find out Ted has dated men.

Has body image issues (I love making fictional characters have all my problems)

Gets diagnosed with autism later in life. Everything starts to make a lot more sense to him after his diagnosis.

He snores in his sleep and is a blanket hog. The snoring doesn't bother Trent bc he also snores.

Kinda canon but he hates being angry. Like if he is angry at someone he feels like the worst person alive.

Also somewhat canon but he's an alcoholic. He starts working on it in therapy.

Legally adopts Trent's daughter. Ted loves her so much it kind of scares him at first.

THIS!!!! i remember i talked about ted being autistic with a friend before and how he went undiagnosed for soo long because people just thought it was some sort of quirk of his like his jokes that only a white middle aged man from kansas gets

[persephoneflouwers]

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