#im crying in the middle of work
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more kaimon doodles alert because I genuinely cant get them out of my head
might be slight spoilers for chapter 1?? Not really.. tags have vague spoilers tho
#ignore the fact its the middle of the night and I dont even like this#but the kaimon grind is forever#maybe ill redraw it when im not falling asleep#I keep drawing damon instead of doing schoolwork#Im gonna draw eva soon too so me and my friend can cry together#kaimon#my art#project: edens garden#damon maitsu#kai monteago#also ive never used medibang before so idk how it works im just experimenting#unrelated bc im so sleepy but I want to cosplay damon so bad#p:eg#p:eg art
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ayeee… happy 22nd anniversary :)
#devil may cry#dmc#dmc fanart#fanart#my art#procreate#dante dmc#dante sparda#dmc 5#dmc 4#dmc 3#dmc 2#dmc 1#drawing this was realll funn… im so tired tho#took an ibuprofen in the middle of drawing and it worked only an hour later#i love dante
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not to be totally #uninspirational but being disabled sucks actually and it makes you not able to do some things that youd really wish you could do. disabled, if you will
#i love youthwork but i feel like my body is falling apart at every joint. and in the middle of this flare. in the#middle of this fucking flare.#i get an email from my old boss asking if im interested in coming back to 100% remote IT support#im not. i wanna help trans kids.#i just also wanna not cry from pain at work. sssooo.#whats sort of the correct answer to this one huh fellas#dont you dare actually answer that question. i am not asking for advice. just having an insane day
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I feel like I'm losing my mind. Like this has to be a thing right? It's a thing I experience at least. Please please please tell me abt ur experience if u do 🙏
#all the literature i find is like yeah pmdd can be mistaken for bipolar but then they dont talk abt mania or hypomania#so im like ??? wtf is happening?#i mean i wasnt looking that hard but its still weird to me bc i tell my mum i possibly had a hypomanic episode and she instantly was like#hm could b hormones and she was 1000% percent right bc it happens mostly in the days before bleeding starts#so like i cant b the only one out there. and it doesnt happen all the time. and usually its not that extreme#like id say its mostly just elevated mood and it mostly just lasts like 3 days or so. so i dont think it counts as hypomania. but thats wha#ill select bc i had one time that felt so fucking crazy it felt like there was something seriously wrong with me. it was fun tho#before i crashed so hard i had to leave work in the middle of the day bc i couldnt stop crying lol#anyway. im curious#menstruation#pmdd#pms#its always depression this depression that. why the fuck do i wanna run around in circles screaming until i die? riddle me that batman
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Murderbot-Posting again because my rooms reorganization is being fueled by the audiobooks
Loving ART going "You're not As stupid as I thought you were" and Murderbot essentially passing out from frustration?? It Willingly K.O.'d itself to 'win' an argument and that didn't even work
Murderbot 'I hate being vulnerable' Mensah for real would rather be Vulnerable than Lose and I love that for it
#me too buddy im also childish and hate losing#I decided at some point Murderbot's full name is Murderbot Mensah#because my middle name jokes don't work without a last name#so congrats mensah u have a kid thats a horrifying murderbot#anyway art is my favourite character and I'm glad it came back#it is just trying So Hard to be bros with Murderbot but murderbot fears the vulnerability of friendship#does that deter art#no absolutely not#art better be in system collapse or i will cry#ramblings of a stranger#special interest tag#mb tag#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#perihelion
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Jason Momoa and Tom Morello hanging out backstage with Metallica at Night 2 in LA, 27.08.23
#JAMES LEGS JAMES LEGS#also the new tattoo... hes insane#such a james thing to get work done not only in the middle of tour but between 2 back to back shows help#also tom my og guitar hero helloooo#always funny seeing james next to even taller people#i think its good for him#aaaand not to disappoint soph:#im yelling screaming crying james in shorts is everything i need to remember my tag for james in shorts#show us your thighs now old man !!#metallica#james hetfield#lars ulrich#kirk hammett#met on tour 23#tom morello#audioslave#ratm#2023#72 seasons era#met with others#also sorry i must add - bro got the longest toes lmaoo to go with the rest of him#still scarred from that pic he posted on insta back in the day with his toes and peanuts... why#robert trujillo#soph pointed out my mis#spelling rip#updated to add kirks post ♡
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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And as I breathe, so does she, we are breathing~
aka i saw an OnI lore log that fucked me up and decided to stay up till 3 am drawing yuri about it
#oxygen not included#rain world#olivia broussard#grey wind#chasing wind#meteorshower shipping#did you know that by the time OnI earth blew up the air was so polluted that solar panels wouldnt work#did you know that iterator rainclouds are so dense that youd have to go miles and miles out into the middle of nowhere#just to even have hope of catching the slightest glimpse of the sky#this is my crackship and i get to be normal about it okay#im gonna cry#over my own crackship art#over two obscure characters from different games#auguuughhhh#please ask me about meteorshower#i am so normal about meteorshower#computer on printer lesbianism#snivs scribbles
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sep. 25, 2023 / day 35/100
today was…. long. midterms are next week, so it’s time to start panicking cramming
#worked on my papers some more over the weekend so i’m still going to count those days even if i’m not posting them#also…. i don’t know about you#but i expect midterms to be in the middle of the term#not 3/8 of the way through#but im just bitchy about it cause if I don’t bitch im gonna cry#g.txt#g.dia#g.aes#100dop#100 days of productivity#student life#studyblr#studyspo#new studyblr
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my hair is way too short for me to try a new hairstyle but we'll see what happens
#i want a new haircut before work next week bc i was supposed to get my hair cut this week#and there werent any free times for the only hairdresser i trust in this city until the end of next week#so i looked at the salons instagram and scrolled until i saw a male haircut that wasnt atrocious#and got a time for the person who did that#i want like a wolfcut with long tails#but my hair is to my shoulders at its longest so its not going to really work#also i feel like that's a straight hair thing and mine is wavy but we'll see!#i find it funny how im ALWAYS like ''hehe ill grow my hair fr now'' and then get tired of it after a year and get it shorter again#but! the shorter style i cut it to has consistently been longer and longer#so i will have long hair one day#also no one worry im not cutting it short#just a bit shorter#if im crying about being ugly here on monday just know it was bc i trusted someone else than a middle aged woman with a knife near my hair#wait knife is not the right word#razor!#leevi talks
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the neighbor gave my boyfriend some tools and his lawnmower to borrow so we can get our yard work done easier… im living in stardew valley rn
#thats so nice i could cry…#faith in humanity restored i had a pleasant interaction w my neighbor#doing yard work in the middle of the day during louisiana summer… whew#yes im still on this. it is HOT#gotta liveblog my going outside experience#getting thru this by telling myself this is just like in sdv#or like my ocs. brie and vlad garden together all the time 🥰🥰🥰#give me an experience and i will find any way to make it about my ocs
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survived the weekend from hell and after a packed, sad, heartwarming, healing, and stressful couple travel days i'm home again... exhausted and drained, but home and feeling so much better after mourning and saying goodbye as a family ❤️ and we also got good news from the vet 🥹 thank you once again to anyone who left a kind comment last week, it meant the world to me 🫶🏼
#im so happy with how the service went bc i put so much effort into making it nice and was so anxious about things going smoothly#i was crying every day about my cat as well while trying to work on everything and be there for my parents who were both falling apart#but now i can say im so proud i was able to be there for them and help make the service beautiful#good example of a time when without my medications i wouldve been toast#instead i was able to process the grief and overwhelm and take care of myself and others#still lots of feelings and grief going on but im glad i can acknowledge ive come a long way in the middle of it ❤️#lush.talk#personal#death cw#funeral cw#grief cw#animal illness cw#pet illness cw
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MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE IS GETTING NEEEW EPISOOOODEEEEES
#that show means so much to me#oh how i relate to their family dynamics wjdjfh for good and baf#im literally about to cry at work ejdjdj in my defense i am medicated right now#r.txt#malcolm in the middle
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i ♡ going into verbose over-explaining mode in fear of being misinterpreted and then being misinterpreted anyways
#wordvomit#i love being autistic it has not negatively effected my lived experience to any extent#“i thought we were being silly” we are. i am. i am using hyperbole and making jokes. do u think im gonna kill people for [x]#its so frustrating especially as someone who LOVES long-winded rambling discussion. i want to read 6 paragraphs of someones indepth thought#on some random subject they got prompted from#but then when u trust ppl enough to try and do that they look at u like ur insane and give one sentence answers acting like ur trying to#force them to agree with you??#i want you to be doing the same thing im doing back however you do it. come engage with me. i wanna discuss and debate.#“yeah i just didnt think that lol” ok why!! how come! walk me thru ur train of thought!!! lets waffle back and forth pointlessly and#meticulously over random subjects!!#ironic that the passion-rant that started this was how scary it is to engage with any sort of topic online that is discourse-y or#contentious in fear of it spiraling out of control or getting unnecessarily hostile ???#i kept neutering myself so much and trying to speak in such a !! tone while still sharing my honest thoughts bc i could feel smthn going#wrong but couldnt tell what#i may go cry for 6 hours#“yes i love doing community work and moderating group spaces it is my passion and i want to help everyone get along!” lookin ass#ill probably delete this but this site is my one outlet since they nuked the vent app#rip a legend#where else will random middle aged women comfort me
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#just complaining dw ->#cried in the middle of the fucking mall bc i couldnt pick up tickets this is a new goddamn low#set out to do at least 3 simple tasks today and did none of them#great#perfect#just wonderful#christ i havent figured out how to do literally anything alone#ive been crying practically every day now god this is getting ridiculous#finals are next week . essays arent done . im never gonna learn#woke up at 6am now its 3:45pm i wanted to finish Something by 12 at the very fucking least but guess what happened#…. okay kim dokja time over im gonna work on the plant type table#solar-talks
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i have to stop for the night but let it be known if i come right home & work on only that tomorrow its very possible i'll be able to post a song :)
#3DAYS. IM MAKING THIS WHOLE THING IN 3 DAYS.#is it good. i cannot say. but its a lot better than i wouldve expected for this time limit#in the middle of adding lyrics. interesting mix of eng & jpn going on here. again is it good i cant say#'who are u using for it' do u think id use anyone but my special girl for my birthday song.#its supposed to be a present for myself but im looking at thr lyrics like okay how are we doing bc this reads like a cry for help#the arts also not going to be elaborate:((( which kills me :(((((((( i love to over detail my art....#& the songs short but what do u expect from a beginner working with a 3 day time limit
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