#im brain fried

[the-cookie-of-doom]

“Rise and shine, P’Kim!” 

Kim reluctantly opened his eyes to a kind face smiling down at him, looking much too bright and chipper for the early hour. 

“It is six o’clock in the morning. I’ve just finished breakfast—fried eggs and rice, with coffee. Cream, no sugar, and cinnamon syrup. You have a radio appearance in two hours, at eight o’clock, which leaves approximately forty-five minutes for you to get ready.”

“Thank you, Chay,” Kim groaned, rolling over and tugging the blanket over his head. The android had pulled open the curtains, and it was late enough into spring that the sunlight streamed in unmercifully. “Now go away.” 

“Yes, P’Kim,” came the responding chirp, followed by Chay’s gentle footsteps as he vacated the room. 

After another ten minutes the android returned, brandishing a cup of coffee, refusing to leave until Kim sat up in bed and accepted it. He sullenly sipped it, sighing at the taste. If there was one benefit to having Chay around—there were many, but Kim wasn’t feeling very charitable just yet—it was his consistency. He made Kim’s coffee perfect every single time. 

Chay stood beside the bed, his hands clasped in front of himself, watching Kim in that eerie way of his. Kim still wasn’t used to it yet. It unnerved him, Chay’s constant attention, although it shouldn’t; Kim was used to far worse in his line of work. At least Chay never leered. His expression was always soft and friendly, warm no matter what, regardless of Kim’s own attitude. 

Maybe that was it. Chay never reacted to him. Not even when Kim tried to shake that unflappable kindness with pointless commands or snappy comments. 

“You have thirty minutes before you have to leave, P’Kim.” 

He sighed. 

“You know, before you, I could sleep in a lot more.” Especially when it came to radio shows, where Kim didn’t have to worry about a stylist or makeup. He could stay in bed until the very last minute, throw on a simple outfit, and arrive with minutes to spare. He rarely took the time for breakfast, helping himself to whatever snacks were provided by whatever event he was attending if he got hungry. 

Chay only smiled. 

“You would sleep more if you went to bed earlier, P’Kim,” Chay sweetly responded. Kim glared up at the android from behind his hair, falling soft and unstyled across his eyes. “Breakfast is getting cold.”

“I’m coming.” 

Forced out of the comfort of his bed, Kim followed Chay into the kitchen, where the android finished cleaning up the mess from breakfast while Kim ate said breakfast. He laughed a little bit at the smiley face drizzled onto his egg. 

“Is it to your satisfaction?” 

“Yes,” Kim said, making Chay beam at him. Another odd little quirk of his; Chay was always so expressive. Every little thing seemed to fill him with pleasure. He would smile and laugh and wiggle, would bounce in place when he was excited, or flutter his hands through the air while he talked. More animated than Kim in many ways. Kim wondered if it was normal. More than once, he’d been tempted to find someone to ask, but one thing always stopped him: he didn’t want anyone else to know. 

Androids were not… uncommon. They were exclusive, though. Personal ownership was difficult to obtain; Kim had gone through great lengths to acquire Chay from a private collector, even more so to conceal his identity while he did. 

Companion androids like Chay were by far the most commonly available to the average consumer. While they were expensive to purchase, they were much cheaper to rent from any number of… establishments throughout the city. 

Androids were hardy, relatively cheap to maintain—regular living expenses could be avoided—and easy to repair, making them an excellent investment for prostitution. They didn’t have to be paid, either, meaning the entirety of the profits went to the brothel owners. Of course, licensing fees were a consideration. Brothels could be fined if the conditions weren’t proven safe for clients. There have been plenty of news stories about gruesome injuries from malfunctioning androids. 

The movement towards android sex work was a complex one. Some people advocated it; who cared if a client wanted to rough up one of them? They weren’t real people, they couldn’t be hurt. They couldn’t carry disease, either, and with HIV rates on the rise, that had been one of the driving arguments behind legalizing android-based brothels. No listened to the few sex workers brave enough to speak out about losing their livelihoods to the machines, and the authorities rarely looked too closely during their inspections. Certainly not close enough to determine machine from human in every single case. 

Androids filled other roles, as well. They started with the police force, little more than sentient shields. Then some government officials began buying them up, adding them to their bodyguard roster. Then celebrities joined in as well, when having an android at their heel became the fashionable taboo. Fifty years later, there were over a dozen major manufacturers across Asia alone, and dozens more operating out of shady warehouses, pumping out subpar products—often salvaged and repurposed from the name brands—at a steep markup. 

Kim didn’t know where Chay came from. Honestly, he didn’t really care, not enough to chase down his origins. He certainly hadn’t come with any official registration papers. In fact his legal status was in a gray area at best; one of the many reasons Kim kept Chay safely hidden away in his condo, and didn’t let anyone know of his existence. 

Even still, regardless of his unknown origins, there was no doubt as to his purpose. Kim watched Chay move through the kitchen, cleaning and putting away the dishes, wiping down the counters. A perfect companion, programmed to serve Kim’s every whim. His previous owner, a salacious high-end collector with an entire room full of bodies, displayed in glass cases when they weren’t in use—Chay being one of them—spared no detail in explaining the full range of Chay’s capabilities. 

Kim hadn’t fucked Chay. He had no intention to, either, he wasn’t—he didn’t want Chay for that. He wasn’t one of those kinds of perverts that couldn’t connect with another human, leaving companion androids—sex bots—as their only option. He wasn’t some kind of degenerate with desires that no sane human could safely or willingly fulfill. He just…

He was just lonely. 

Honestly, it would probably be less humiliating if he did want Chay for the sex, and not because he was so dysfunctional, he was incapable of letting another person close to him. But that was the truth. That he was too mistrustful—too broken—for any kind of intimacy, yet he still craved it, desired to be close to someone, anyone, until he was driven to a blackmarket collector offering the finest piece of his collection, in exchange for a truly exorbitant price. 

Kim hadn’t even tried to negotiate. He’d taken one look at Chay’s sweet face, his round cheeks, the soft curls falling over his closed eyes as he lay dormant, and knew he would do anything to have him. Two weeks later Kim hadn’t regretted the decision once.

“P’Kim, it’s almost time for you to leave. You have ten minutes before you’re late.”

Well, most of the time Kim didn’t regret it, anyway. Sometimes Chay could be even more annoying than his manager. 

“I’m going.”

“Don’t forget about your photoshoot after! Or your meeting after that.”

Fuck. He had forgotten. 

“Which meeting?” 

“Contract negotiations with Vogue Thailand,” Chay dutifully responded, his voice following Kim into his bedroom, where he hastily dressed. 

[hansoeii]

crowley!

[sanjipussyindulgence]

watching the kaiju no. 8 anime and the kafka + reno dynamic is so top-tier. contrasting reno, a sterotypical edgy anime teenager, with kafka, a pretty regular guy in his 30s, has such endless comedy to it.

they're father-son coded but reno did the adopting. he saw how lame and wet kafka was and fetched the adoption papers out himself.

[teenytinyapprentice]

SO SO so indescribably excited for NWOS I can't put it into words... seeing these two together again, as they should be, makes me physically ill (positive) (affectionate) (bursting at the seams) if you haven't seen them here is the 2024 trailer and here are two demo playthoughs (both with slightly different content explored) by The Famicast and Geek Culture Plays

[valtsv]

love how every phone call with my dad is like negotiating a peace treaty between two warring nations

[civetside]

Your drawings have such little guy energy it’s insane. Its amazing. Keep up the good little guy energy.

[tervaneula]

“Dad?” 

Splinter is currently sitting on his bed, preparing to turn in for the night. He puts away the pillow he was fluffing up and turns to look towards the doorway of his room. 

“Yes, Blue?” 

Leo doesn’t answer, instead shuffling next to Splinter and sitting down on the floor, leaning his side against the bed. He lifts his face to look up at him. 

“I’m… just tired, dad,” he says, attempting to make light of it with a smile but his voice breaks in the end and that’s all it takes for Splinter to pull Leo into his lap, and as if on instinct the boy buries his face into the rat’s robes. He sobs, and Splinter feels his heart twinge with yet another crack. 

“Oh, oh baby Blue, it is alright,” he murmurs, petting his son’s shell and the back of his head. He knows Leo hasn’t been sleeping again and he had hoped it would pass, like it always does, but for it to go on so long that it gets this bad… Now, this settles it. No more training, no patrols, no strenuous activities aside from rhythm games for at least a week. 

All of his kids could benefit from a break, actually, and Splinter is glad that this is a fact – Leo won’t be singled out if they all are on a holiday of sorts. Brilliant. He knows he’s never been the perfect father, far from it, but he’s trying to do his best for his children and this time is no different. First thing tomorrow morning, he is going to tell his family of their impromptu vacation, and then take them out to Run of the Mill for pizza. 

It’s a great plan. 

Surfacing back to the present from his thoughts, Splinter realises that his musings must have taken longer than he thought because the turtle in his lap is now snoring quietly. With a soft chuckle, Splinter reaches back to grab his comforter and gently wraps it around Leo’s shoulders. He doesn’t mind acting as a pillow for his blue son and while he himself would be uncomfortable like that, partly on the floor, he’s witnessed enough turtle piles to know that the position is no hardship for Leo. 

He keeps petting the blanketed shell, leans back and lets his butt fall asleep, too. 

Just how he likes it. 

[yankasmiles]

🍭

[campbyler]

how are you guys doing?

honestlyyy we have both been going through it for a minute which you guys probably have picked up on from our very unplanned absence on here 😗 our work schedules have just been so crazy and we have had some personal stuff going on at both ends so we have been existing in a kind of default state of complete and total exhaustion for like a month i fear. but we are now 1. medication twinsies which is so silly of us actually and 2. getting therapized on the regular so hopefully we will both feel more normal soon and get our creative energy back and be more active online again 🥳 (thea is also actively being blown away by the hurricane right now so everyone please manifest that she stays safe and dry and doesn’t end up floating away down the gulf because i would miss her and be so sad.) thank you for asking i hope you’re doing well! 🫶🏽

[buggachat]

minor beau break? 😇

[how2forgive]

its so funny when ppl announce a "social media break" just do it. tell people privately if its really a concern. but most ppl who take breaks i dont notice at all. until theyre back and theyre like omggg im back already that didnt last very long🤣🤣 like im sorry but everything is so overstimulating n content saturated nobodys gonna notice if yr gone for a week.. just be silent about your silence ..im so against social media can u tell 😭 its such a fake sense of connection. talk to ppl directly.. have conversationsssss. tumblr doesnt count as always if u are on here u are a genius and loved by me. 🙏❤️

[birdricks]

i love the stars (j'adore les etoiles)

[swantranslations]

New Actor Visuals for the Fullmetal Alchemist Stage

just got released on twitter!!

リン・ヤオ：本田礼生

Lin Yao: Reio Honda

メイ・チャン：柿澤ゆりあ

Mei Chang: Yuria Kakizawa

フー：新田健太

Fu: Kenta Nitta

ランファン：星波

Lan Fan: Seiha

[nothing-impt]

Just had a random headcanon for the Fried Chicken Au (I should really stop thinking) where Telemachus uses Lawn flamingo Dionysus as a club or some sort weapon to fight the suitors and the convo would go like this: Flamingo Dionysus (Dioningo): Come great-great grand nephew! To battle! Telemachus: Yes, Lord Dionysus! *Picks up Dioningo by the feet and swings him around to attack the suitors* Antinous: What the fuck?

[valtsv]

i'm definitely reading too much into things, but i'm obsessed with hayward's word choice of "defector" here. i mean, yes, it is an entirely appropriate descriptor for someone you're trying to encourage to turn against a cause they no longer believe in, if they ever did, in favour of yours which directly opposes it, but there's a subtle double meaning to it - "defector" as in to defect - to abandon, to desert, to turn traitor - and as in defective - broken, flawed, functionally useless (anathema). defector as in someone who no longer fits seamlessly inside the machine, who has fallen out of line; someone who no longer turns as they should in the perpetual cycle of violence. it's just such a fantastically fun little detail.

[fishfingersandscarves]

4 hours of toiling to produce the ugliest hanzi you've ever seen