#im being so goddamn normal about all this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

i-amusemyself · 9 months ago

Text

no offence but all the things we should've said that we never said. all the things we should've done that we never did. all the things that you wanted from me. all the things that you needed from me. all the things we should've given, but I didn't. if you even care.

#im being so goddamn normal about all this #kate bush #this womans work #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meme #ofmd s2 #save ofmd #adopt our crew #merstede

632 notes · View notes

rubberbandgirlme · 20 hours ago

Text

i can't stop thinking about lucanis and i can't stop literally crying over him i even saw him in a dream today goD i got it so bad so so so bad soooo baaaaad im literally just

#i got so emotional so i just. broke down crying after finishing his last quest .#crying over a fictional character...... so um yeah.. ..#im. i think im bewitched. i can't explain the hold he has on me . like literally can't.#im thinking about him all the goddamn time #and about my rook and their relationship.#god #GODDDDDDDDDDDFF #god help me #djdjsjsjjsjsisksiwek #i don't think im normal i need to leave all hope about being a civilized human being once again #uhhhhhhhhhhgggghhhgggg #thinking back to the first trailer in june. i didn't even like him at first. i could have been saved...................#lucanis dellamorte #dav #*txt

5 notes · View notes

yellobb · 28 days ago

Text

If things could stop going in exactly the wrong wrong direction that would be excellent

#m rambles #if I could trade all my years of good luck when I was younger to just be fucking normal I would #the latest in my series of unfortunate events:#decided to hire traffic lawyer for my ticket #traffic lawyer gets my info but never sends any follow up #today I got a fucking ‘failed to appear in court’#because apparently my lawyer didn’t do jack shit #and it’s just one more FUCKING thing #I don’t even know what the fuck to do now #this will probably fuck up my chances of getting my ticket dismissed #and I’m too paranoid to go for a lawyer again because if I fail to show up again they can put out a warrant for my arrest #im so nauseous #I really can’t deal with being alive anymore and I mean that in the most serious fucking way I can #if I had access to a gun or a garage I could lock myself in I would fucking do it #but I’m too terrified of being in pain to try any other way so I guess I live to see another sunrise tomorrow #just to go into work at a job I probably won’t have in a month’s time because of layoffs #to explain to my coworkers and my manager why I’m so fucking behind #and without a single bit of professional help because my therapist dropped me weeks ago and I’ve been stuck in a hole ever since #I’ve left my house less that 5 times in the entire month of October and yet I live in a fucking pigs sty #I sleep on the couch because I’m too tired to climb the stairs and all I can smell is the mold from my dishes #which literally had fucking maggots in it last time I looked at them #I think there’s black mold in my basement that I can’t clean and my fridge is going to mold soon because my water pitcher leaked #if I’d known when I was a kid that all those times where things just seemed to magically work out would lead to my life falling apart #I would have shut my goddamn mouth about getting a B in physics and dealt with it to prevent my life from becoming the shit show it is today

2 notes · View notes

vriskabot · 9 months ago

Text

i think about restarting dailyvriskas like 3x a week but man. MAN. if i really were to run it by myself (because having other mods has literally never worked out) i would REALLY have to learn how to actually enjoy drawing. or lower my standards. probably both.

#original post #its all about the fucking speed you guys #i just CANNOT crank out pieces quickly for a multitude of reasons aside from just being a slow artist #but even when i was trying to do like. hour timed pieces i would be sat there like #oh this is NOT done enough #and give myself more hours until eventually i was okay with where it was at #BUT THAT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF THE TIMER. AND TRYING TO SET A TIME LIMIT SO IM NOT SPENDING ALL GODDAMN DAY DRAWING #BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY OTHER THINGS I WANT TO BE DOING!!!!#RAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH #okay. im normal now <3 #taking all counsel on the matter btw.

9 notes · View notes

pinkopalina · 11 months ago

Text

I'm not fixing that stupid lollipop or making my date blindness less obvious!

#my art #i hate having long hair and yes to me this is long bc i normally have a pixie cut #but my favorite hairstyle is space buns! theyre so cute #my hair has such nice curly waves but it gets so ramen noodleish at a certain point lol #idek if i want to grow it or cut it rn #its all old bleach and bad color but i have so many grays #idk whether to pink it or stay natural anymore #im always unhappy with the pink at first bc i hate it too saturated #but i wish people would stop fucking commenting on it when its faded #the peach blonde honestly isnt horrible bc i like the light around my face #but like ppl at work have never seen me with my naturally dark hair!#the pink is just. so much goddamn blonde maintenance #it i wasnt worried about people monitoring me going jokermode i would dye it green #yes in his honor and yes bc green is historically the easiest color to maintain #but i being stupid love pink which is literally the opposite of green and the hardest color to maintain #jesus my hair rant. anyways

8 notes · View notes

spikeyjo · 4 months ago

Text

Siri how do i stop the cycle without doing these bitchass tiny steps

#lamenting because i was so close to being normal and then i fucking lost it and gained nearly 100 lbs #and i cant get back to where i was i just ...... aaaaaaaaaaaaa #im so much more mentally fucked now so its harder #but thats all excuses right?#and then theres me being like am i even saying that bc i know its what people want to hear #or do i actually believe it? and is there even a difference if i know its true but i dont believe it?#does it even fucking matter just stop shoveling garbage in your mouth ffs #is the real answer here but I AM STRUGGLING #im looking into wls but i know if i dont get my emotional and bored eating under control that shit WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR ME #hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng #im just mad bc i have to fucking grocery shop #which always leads me to being pissed about this fuckass cycle #bitch call me mauville town the way i have cycles #god i can recognize the cycle which all tthe therapists will be like good on you!! :D and im like great. how do i break it #and then theyll say ten thousand small steps BITCH IM DYING I NEED DRASTIC CHANGE #BUT THEN IT WONT STICK AND ILL REVERT BACK TO WHERE I AM #but i did it drastically the first time and it wouldve stuck if i hadnt fucking lost it and ended up in the ward #im not a small steps kind of guy i need to wake up and fix shit and stick to it #but listen to me i am dean maniacally speaking to sam.gif #i buy all these stupid ass healthy foods and i have all these good ideas and reciepes and im legit pumped #and then i fuck it up and order food thats awful for me and then i give the hell up #which is an easy problem to fix. i know.#i can simply just....... not do that #but i swear i am struggling which pisses me off so bad #like you wouldnt struggle if youd quit being a stupidass and just did the damn thing #god i am not gonna do well on my psych evaulation #im gonna end up turning it into therapy and im gonna rage and the lady is gonna be like :D................. you need ten more visits #and youre getting denied at the end of them so get fucked #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #charlie am i losing my GODDAMN MIND? IF ITS GONE WHERE WILL I FIND.. IT?

2 notes · View notes

widevibratobitch · 2 years ago

Text

(girl who has only read The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas visits Paris) wow this is giving me a lot of The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas vibes

#anyway hi id never been to france before #everyone here is speaking french what the fuck #it feels like im living inside the five act french version of don carlo it's insane #nah it's cool. it's all really pretty. pity its so fucking cold and i didnt take any warm clothes.#also i wont be able to see vaux-le-vicomte and kinda killing myself about that but also maybe it's for the better #cause im pretty sure id lose my goddamn mind in there #anyway. guess who's going to the dumariolles exhibition and is being very normal about it <3333 #the three musketeers

22 notes · View notes

oogaboogaghosttt · 4 months ago

Text

ok wrestling is dirt pits by ethel cain is sooooo raph and leo coded. to me.

#cus like first of all. 'son of a preacher/scared of the world' <-literally leo #'backwater girl' <-raph if youre me... AND ALSO 'everything here wants us dead' <-LITERALLY WHAT EVRRY TMNT SHOW IS ABOUT HELLO #'my mamas always been good at making me cry til im holding that gun to my head' <- splinter and raph obvi r u kidding..#'americas sweetheart starved straight to death/and some say theyre still peeling her out of that bed' <-ok leo trying to get himself killed #specifically 2012 when they were in the farmhouse after that fight and leo was in a coma in the bathtub for like a month all fucked up #'i keep praying youll save me/all alone in this house' <- them. really makes me think of 07 raph+leo dynamic. codependent+theyhate eachother #'i feel so goddamn crazy/i think the heats getting to me again'+'i get so goddamn angry/unlike tammy i cant stand my man'<- a #'stood over her casket thinking youre next/but america beat you in line' <-RAPH TERRIFIED JUST WAITING FOR LEO TO ACTULLY GET HIMSELF KILLED #'scared youll end up like your daddy high strung/from his neck begging his reflection for more time' <-JDSHJSHDEH!!! OK HOLD ON #2012 raph scared leo will end up like splinter #killed by his reflection(yoshis being saki). the parallels set between yoshi+saki and leo+raph r not lost on me BELIEVE THAT #i cant even explain it just. you get it #anyways. im mentally normal. happy sunday to all

2 notes · View notes

ozymoron · 5 months ago

Text

i cant fucking stand people who act like theyre seeing the world more realistically by being so negative all the time like youre not seeing shit realistically youre making everyone around you uncomfortable and miserable and you should go get councilling or somwthing

#⚠️#personal #i just wish thw people around mw could be normal for like 10 fucking seconds without bringing down the mood #like i cant take it anymore #ill be so god damn happy and then someone has to swoop in and be like hey heres something triggering like LEAVE ME ALONE #GOD DAMN.#oh yeah just mention self harm around me and when i say stop just be like ''im just seeing the world realistically you gotta tlak about this #shit at some point'' actually go fuck yourself holy fucking shit #i feel like screaming dude like ITS NOT SEEING SHIT REALISTICALLY YOURE JUST BEING A MASSIVE DOWNER #AND A PRICK #A MASSIVE ASSHOLE #i was having a fairly decent day too for once #god i fucking hate people #its always cis men too #why are men like this dude holy fuck #i mean i know why but like #god you just want ro punch them sometimes knock some goddamn sense into them #i hate being negative so much but god people have really been testing me lately #i need all the men in my life to explode

2 notes · View notes

chiistarri · 6 months ago

Text

what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group

#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever #im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point #and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn #selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too #we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right #get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure #what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye #AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care #she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us #what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not #taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg #just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg #why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend #and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic #and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc #but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever #if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die #sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP #id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh #post #nickpost #will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1 #i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it #sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh #nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone #living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh #adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway #its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her #bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships

4 notes · View notes

the-gayest-sky-kid · 1 year ago

Text

like im just saying they should invent a family that doesn't make you want to kill yourself

#and a school system while theyre at it #or just a me that wouldn't make me want to kill myself #just like. without all the problems that make it impossible to exist in normal society as myself #i know technically its possible for me to have a future but goddammit i dont see one okay #i havent made a single goddamn real life connection since middle school and now we're so distant i barely remember whos who on discord #thats not to mention how I've just been on the edge of every friendgroup anyway. including that one #im just some fucking loser. im not going to fucking graduate my only career aspiration is a goddamn pipe dream and if i dont fucking kill #myself by then im going to be stuck living with my family forever and we're not going to be seeing eye to eye.#all ive ever done is dig myself a deep grave and then tether other people to me to drag them down too #i love you all but i dont know how you see me as anything but gross and annoying and weirdly fucking clingy okay #i just #i dont know what im fucking doing #i wish i did. i wish i knew but i dont. and it feels like everyone else has figured out how things work and im just supposed to do that too #but i cant. i fucking cant and it keeps getting worse and i keep getting worse and i keep making it worse for my family while im at it #i miss being able to imagine doing stuff tomorrow. or in an hour #i miss being able to wash the dishes and not having to think about stabbing myself with fucking cutlery #i miss being able to show my mother my report card #but its my fucking fault im in this mess in the first place #and i just cant fucking try enough. or at all #aethers rants #cw vent #cw sui ideation #personal posts and stuff idk

6 notes · View notes

transmechanicus · 2 years ago

Text

It is sunday night. I remain exhausted.

#my stuff #i tried everything this weekend and nothing is healing my Existential Ambivalence #like i know i cooked and i saw friends and i did my hobbies and normally i'd be proud of myself for all that but i just...don't care #i wanna call out sick or something tomorrow. I'm worried about my finances and i genuinely think im gonna have to move somewhere cheaper #like i was expecting my tax return to offset the slow bleed of money from my savings each month and that Is Not Happening #And its not like i have any way to Make More Money #bc im a grad student and we're contractually prevented from doing so #So that means i'll need to move when my lease is up this summer and i really don't fucking want to #i like where i live i just wish it wasn't so goddamn expensive on rent #even like $200 cheaper would be world changing for me #but no instead i gotta look at my bills after power and car insurance and food and be like oops guess i lost $100 this month #and god forbid i get coffee or eat out in the cheapest way possible bc somehow that adds up to like $100 the second i look away #im sick of being anxious about this!! im not eating enough as it is!!#i also don't wanna get a fucking roommate bc i don't want someone in a space i've come to consider my own #like sorry but im transgender do not fucking look at me stranger #so the only real solution is to move and that's such a fucking hassle and it doesn't solve the problem now and i just want this to get bettr #i wish all students a very $2000 raise forever #and all landlords a very Scrooge Moment that makes you cut my rent in half #ave omnissiah

26 notes · View notes

lycanthian · 8 months ago

Text

there is nothing more inhumanly frustrating to me than when someone tries to correct you on something and by all accounts theyre right except that in doing so they have wrongly assumed what you are trying to do

#like dick????????? do you know my intent??????????#does it matter to you so much that you are willing to come out here and tell me im wrong about something that you dont know?#ive been on the verge of verbally fucking this guy up for actual months and like. i cant #because i dont hate him and i enjoy when we actually talk as friends but he has this inhuman need to sound smart and right abt everything #and to make quips abt everything that he ever sees #and its incredibly insulting because it feels like he does this a higher amount to me. which isnt a problem in and of itself #but he is incapable of reading the fucking room ever or even vaguely comprehending why something hes saying can be taken badly #and i dont know if this is just by nature or intentional but the longer i talk to him the more intentional it feels #it feels like he intentionally says things to get rises out of people because hes fucking afraid of being genuine and normal #youre not funny man. youre not extra cool because you dont care about people #youre just a dick and a loser and you need to learn to shut your goddamn mouth #and the worst part is that hes so intertwined with all the other people im friends with that cutting him specifically off #would make things infinitely harder just to Exist in the same space as everyone else who i do love the company of #UAAAAAAGHGGHGHGGGHGHHHHHHHGHH #lycan howls

4 notes · View notes

jvzebel-x · 2 years ago

Text

🦋

#usually i like to think i am extremely well adjusted to what my health entails. usually lmao.#but specifically cancer sometimes feels like a goddamn anchor lmao.#stomach cancers are not even close to the only ones that could potentially go on for a lifetime w treatment #depending on situation. like this is a far more normal situation than ppl really realize i think.#i hadnt realized it before i was adjusting goal posts from 'cured' to '5yr mark' at least lol.#this is not bad. this could be signficiantly worse. this is not a bad situation all things considered.#but like sometimes i wonder what its like to be like. healthy lmao.#&when things dip its like. if this is a perma-up trajectory as far as difficulty goes it feels kind of. unfair that mine started #where it did&its just like. never gonna plateau lmao.#i question my fortitude sometimes. idk its been a long day&i havent burned thru the Bad mania yet lmao.#ill get high&itll be easier to see that w/o the pain lmao.#med change ups are never fun this one just happened at an unfortunate time in general probably.#i miss my dog. i miss all my dogs. i would have lost my mind w/o roxy lmao.#at least this time i can give him proper rites; i couldnt for yoshi or johnny. so ive been doing a full mourning period.#it hasn't put me in like. the most optimistic light as of late lol.#its weird. im being such a fucking baby about all of this lmao.#but like i also wasnt expecting unconditional love to be almost exclusive to my dogs #or for the ups&downs to still be so dramatic after all these years of figuring out treatments lmao.

4 notes · View notes

autism-corner · 3 months ago

Text

being gay =3=ppp

#why can guys be so cute..... shouldnt be real.....#man if only i was more cis and less aroace Y-Y #no... i have a chance....#will it happen? no fucking way. but a guy can dreamm #augh this is so emberassing goddamn #sillyposting #mann we had our big party and like two hours before it ended our coworker came by + helped afterwards #but i hadn't seen him in so long and hes pretty nice and waughhh i hate crushes how do people copeee #and i KNOW partly that I like him because. there is an oppertunity its mutual.#i feel like thats the only way a romantic attraction starts for me.... if its possibly mutual and there are signs etc.#but that could also just me being aplatonic and autistic and not knowing signs of friendshipp #but mann he brought me a special typa shot that we sell and. put it on the table so excitedly just for me and. it was cute okay. it was.#but i hadn't drunk at all bc im kinda at work but its not like most of my coworkers atm were sober WHATEVER.#but I had to deny bc I. did not want to. despite being soso flattered and ARGHHH #i cant stop thinking about it i need to stopp i cant handle thiss #=3=pp #not epic....#T-T #he'll be forever on the list of 'people i could have had forever maybe if i was more normall' 5 and counting ig...

1 note · View note

snekdood · 3 months ago

Text

why do ppl you barely know or interact with at all think you give a huge fuck about interacting with them?

#yeah bitch i saw you. no i didnt give a fuck. who even are you sdhjfhvgsdvghfsd #we have no interacted enough for me to like. care? about talking to you or noticing you any further than 'ive interacted w that person #before'. but the way you rushed out was funny. nice to know i have that much power 😌#kind of tells me everything i need to know and all that shit about totally not interacting w that one friend group is probably bs #you probably rushed out of there to go talk to them about how you saw me #and yall like to believe lies bc you need to shit on me bc its the only way you can feel an ounce bit better about living a shitty life #and being oppressed. crabs in a bucket type behavior over here.#the only difference is yall somehow for some goddamn unknown reason to me think you're superior to me meanwhile conservatives #throw us all in the same bucket of 'weird' so i really dont think it matters. like i really dont think your attempt to shit on me is going #to change very much of anyones opinion on you...? like ppl are gonna call you weird queer ppl anyways? welcome to the club losers?#anyways keep coping by trying to shit on me but its not gonna make your life better babe. go smoke somethin.#really wild you'd treat another trans person- someone you know irl no less- like a lolcow when yall have 0 legs to stand on like #who do yall think you are that you get to feel this superiority complex? im begging to know.#like idk if yall know this but while you're desperately clawing to feel better than me my conservative brother is lumping us all together #as crazy dumb easily manipulated trans people like i promise no amount of trying to appease cis people by trying to come off as one of #the Good and Normal trans people is going to work for you and also you'll be dumped in the trash as soon as that totally weirder #person is out of the picture. like when im gone you're gonna be the weird ones babe so.#maybe find a more productive use of your time. perhaps a hobby.#and then maybe some day yall can have made as much art as i have and have as big of a following as me too. k? 💖#which isnt like a whole lot but im sure as fuck more known than any of you....................................... . . . .

1 note · View note