#im being really normal right now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

short-and-ugly · 2 years ago

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Opinion on thighs?🎤

good shit i cant get me enough of them.

#slaps the ones on skoodge #have you seen them #you havent #you should #he would never show you </3 #he took a pic of bimby on his lap #ive drawn his thighs a lot #i mean. with the rest of him too #not JUST his thighs #i could if i wanted though #i have that power #im being really normal right now #ignore me #gerrnswers

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gelarshiesprofruitboarder · 5 months ago

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christ okay ill shut up now

#apologies to oomf im not normal right now or. ever really contrary to popular belief. that plus me just being a massive fucking #lesbo about her equals watever the hell happens when theres new roxie stuff sorry you have to deal with. that #😭😭😭#scott pilgrim #roxie richter #roxy richter #f slur

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bloodydeanwinchester · 5 months ago

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when im feeling sorry for myself one of my favorite things to do is to watch the most depressing media i can think of. im not sure whether it makes me feel better or worse but it definitely scratches SOME kind of itch

#right now i've been feeling so shitty and somehow me being alone has also been making me feel really shitty too??#which normally that doesn't really bother me at all so it's kinda weird #so in response to that im watching the handmaid's tale

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call-me-pup2 · 4 months ago

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On the train zooming! Might as well have wore a scuba suit with the weather though, going to go charity shop hunting for a cute waterproof trench coat so with me luck!

#Soo technically I didn't wake up till 9pm yesterday so the lack of sleep isn't a huge issue buttt I may have drank a bottle of wine #😶#technically with me sleep being flipped it isn't bad right?#tispy pup on an adventure!#imma be so sociable in the shops which is so off for me 😅😂#my dad would be proud #(my dad's an alcoholic)#is a joke #you can laugh #dark humour ahahaha #sort of grump i hid back in myself when i wasnt single #now i feel like i can post silly stuff again #what the heck brain #he did indicate he was a lil controlling (a reason i yeeted out of there) but he didnt outright say i couldn't post stuff #pup brain in a scramble egg #may haps have a lil drinky drinky with me in a bottle #im a big kid #im safe #a lil reckless behaviour is fine right?#i say out of all the things i could be doing to cope this is pretty tame right #ooo pups really going off showing that mental health side huh?#ahahah #im so normal and definitely not the problem #also yes he was the abysmal dicking but no that isnt way i yeeted myself out of there #well the lack of noticing i wasnt enjoying it/begging me to give consent again sort of was but shhhhhh #if you read all this i understand if you decide to unfollow 😂#also why do i feel more me in genral again #like i love being called they/them but he only ever called me she even after i talked about why i like they #sort of shitty he did but why did i just accept it and forget how comfy they them makes me #she is fine too but i pup not just a she

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eikichi-supremacy · 8 months ago

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and they were singin', bye-bye Miss American Pie // american oldie i think kuwabara unironically listens to

(low effort lyric edit im queueing here in May cos im probably gonna forget it exists otherwise)

#qeued post #for June cos hey pride #the idea of kuwa seeing his friends in a holy almost godly light namely yusuke #and having them all leave unexpectedly #cos before that night at Genkai's i feel like it was solidified in kuwa's brain DESPITE the sidekick complex #DESPITE the fact that he's human and the least powerful member they are still decidedly a team #A team he has a place on. But then all suddenly springing this... YUSUKE springing this departure on him. shatters that belief #yusuke says he'll be back and it seems to make things better but even so kuwabara's face still looks so solemn when he leaves #Likely cos he knows yusuke is just saying shit and doesn't even know if it's possible to come back #this wasn't supposed to be a kuwameshi post it's really not but there's always that undertone when i talk about them so #He just admires them all so much yusuke above all others only to be left behind and that's gotta fuckin hurt #The way we don't see the resolution to this feeling. The lack of belonging the abandonment #next time we see him he's just supposed to be over it but we don't really know if it actually happened #So I like to play with the idea of like . Did he really like healthily accept things or #did he just repress it and deal. Cos like eng dub he tells yusuke ''forget all that stuff I said'' immediately taking back #his harsh words bc it's either stay mad stay upset or quickly forgive and move on cos this could be the last time. or even the jdub #where he doesn't even allow the vulnerability to show enough to trail off he just spouts the normal shit bc it's what they DO he immediatel #tries to get back to the normal dynamic and push himself to being fine with it right now bc he doesn't have the luxury of being upset #when it doesn't matter cos yusuke's leaving. the last thing he hears from him shouldnt be reckless shit he was saying when he lashed out #aka i dont think kuwa's feelings get seriously addressed enough and this episode haunts me cos of that very fact #Im not making any sense. Nico as my witness I swear I was more eloquent yapping to him about it #kuwabara kazuma #yu yu hakusho #kuwameshi

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ghost-bard · 6 months ago

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feeling unwell about solavellan

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dai #dragon age solas #solavellan #inquisitor lavellan #like ik its different for everybody right #but god #im thinkin about them real hard rn #aila being angry for so long #that by datv its almost the only thing they feel consistently #and the dragons blood doesnt help #and theyre SO SURE that when they see solas again theyll kill him #bc thats what they wanted #but then everything goes to shit #idk #i think some of that murderous rage stays #bc theyve always had it #their entire life got upturned and destroyed bc they were at the wrong place at the wrong time #and for the most part they wield that anger at their foes #but then tresspasser happens and it just comes crashing down on them #they never wanted this responsibility. and solas says hes going to tear down the veil #which will effectively destroy the world- even if thats a good thing #and they dont give up. they give in to that bubbling anger #and even if they dont want to. they know theyll kill solas. they have to.#then veilguard. they cant kill solas. not now. and deep down they wonder if they wouldve to begin with #anyway. im really normal about aila. they use they/she btw.#is it obvious that theyre a reaver warrior lmao

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hellonerf · 6 months ago

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i love crazy contrasting 1p2p in every way(not every way). so i always subconsciously have 2P rusame be friends. unlikely friends etc. in whatever weird school au theyre friends. meri was probably bullied until he started hissing at other kids or something while rus2 was just like huhh okay yeah okay what fine. rus2 found him in a broom closet and it was as awkward as it sounds. in the weird stuckin1Pcoldwar au i have theyre friends also in the torturous existence. 1P rusame is too weird life is too short lets tomodachi✌️

#in comparison 1p rusame would be school insane psychological games social competition nerds MID OFF #2ptalia #i like the jp fanart where 2p ame is pitiful and gloomy. its cute #a little wannabe edgy but spare him he was left in the rain in a cardboard box when he was 2 years old.#i keep imagining a gay school au sorry. im gonna say shit now #rus2 is blunt and kind of. bad at reading signals. accidentally drags him and meri into karaoke with ame(enigmatic popular kid)#meri is like fuck my life... but he has a killer bitch face so people are like uwaa scary... hes brooding...#rus2 is like ah sorry i forgot you never had a normal teen friendship and clung onto (nada) all the time #meri is always coping like these people... dont get it... hes half right #they go to karaoke and ame sings really off key #actually i have a common daydream where ame's elusiveness is really funny to meri #he's like hahahaha what the hell that kids crazy ahahaha. like laughing at a cartoon #and then somehow he keeps being approached by ame (slow trying to step away) hes like noo... i dont actually wanna get close to u at all...#meri and rus2 probably play observers theyre quiet kids who go hmm im nooticing!#observing 1p rusames weirdship that everybody can see but they don't think anyone notices their crazyship #and rus2 is like oh two people talking and interacting alot. theyre friends. its just like a rivalry thing yeah?#while meri is like fuckkk the fucking golden boy is talking to us when ame talks to them rus2 is like #why dont you invite (rusia) to the karaoke arent you two friends #(ame mania face turns around)#okay thats all i got bye

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telesodalite · 2 months ago

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I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...

#its been a long day... but im feeling better now. (thanks for the well wishes and such btw <3-)#(-sending my well wishes in return by tenfold bcs. damn. it seems stuff is really going around rn)#but yeah... just. augh. theres just smth about how the scavs sorta translate into more like. thriller-esque genres pretty well?#like. i feel somehow those themes compliment their characteristics? or could compliment their characteristics in a more rounded out way #sure. theyre generally a light hearted romp of absurdity with occasional themes of a not good not bad handling of 'mental health matters'#but they just really shine a bit in horrific circumstances. esp with the sort of absurdity they bring to the table #theyre odd people. even in the context of their generally weird and alien universe. and that right there feels like a trove of potential #its like. ok. the lost light crew? also odd. but thats a huge ship. full of people and variety and a sense of purpose and normalcy post-war #(normalcy being. whatever all those background folks were getting up too while plot happened around them. cruise ship stuff ig)#but in contrast. with the w.a.p crew. its an ark class ship with like. a handful of people. and a whole lot of junk and free time #both just cruising through space endlessly for years. one with hundreds of people. and one with like 6 people.#so both are technically isolated when theyre not making pit-stops planet or station side. but again. 100s vs 6 dudes.#think. top of the line cruise ship from hell with a small town sized populace vs a big shitty boat and 6 starving guys #both have the capacity to become case studies in madness. both could do really well thriller wise. but the scavs being a smaller group?#it only being the 6 of them emphasis the isolation perhaps. less variety. less change. same 6 people for 5(?) years #things could get weird fast. codependent mentalities. us vs them mindsets. an otherness about everyone else outside of their group #and then! then you add to the mix the fact that theyre eating/drinking from corpses?! *chefs kiss* awesome. love it.#non-stationary isolation + cannibalism. ough. perfect mix. a classic of maritime horror but in space! :D!#a big ship. small crew. living while knowing that as soon as you kick the bucket. your body is the meal. your body is the fuel.#no decorum about it. no faith. no belief. just perverse survival. bcs they might enjoy it. a bloody gluttony. with a bite. a sample. a taste #it takes seeing your buddy as a walking talking burger to another level. bcs every corpse you come across is also a burger. and a gas can #also fulcrum making candy out of corpses is so. particularly perfect when it comes to the horrifically absurd. just. smth about it. idk #but also also. the line. where was the line drawn for each of them? and when did they each cross it?#most of them dont seem like the type to jump head first into that. so how did they justify it to themselves? had they done it before?#and then. when did it become normal? a habit? smth enjoyable?#i might be running out of tags. but yeah. them being weirder. esp about each other and others.#nothing brings a group of people together like the overhanging knowledge that you sort of kinda wanna eat each other #(rlly wishing i could stomach realistic thrillers rn. but i just cant. gotta stick to written or artistic styles or risk panic attacks :/)#(ive tried a couple movies and shows now. and cant get through most of them. praise be synopses and peoples long rambles about them tho :D)#(nothing like reading someones passionate ramble about the meaning/symbolism of some gory nightmare without having to actually see it lol)

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cowboy-robooty · 7 months ago

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imma be so fr rn i think its homophobic when people are fine with yuri but go up in arms about yaoi. like seriously. because its so fucking stupid to act as though yuri is somehow less fetishistic than yaoi when legit the entire fetish appeal of lesbianism in yuri is the fact that its "so pure and untainted by men". Straight men who consume yuri love it because they have a thing for purity in a similar vein as straight women love yaoi for being guys "sinning" and shit. I think both of these sentiments are foul in their own respective ways and its plain ignorant to act as though the "purity" of yuri is made out of a respect for lesbians instead of fetishistic appeal. And dont get it twisted rn and think im saying yaoi and yuri both suck; you know i love both of these genres, but i can criticize it without saying the genre as a whole is some evil demon shit. Straight erotica also houses a plethora of problematic themes and sentiments because every genre is going to have issues, especially when its lewd content. Lewd content is made TO BE fetishistic because well... its lewd; the problems that arise are not black or white matters and I think that if people are willing to enjoy straight erotic manga critically but unwilling to give the same grace to yaoi or yuri then thats plain homophobic. Because when people act as though yaoi and yuri having these problems means that the genres as a whole are unsalvagable while straight erotica can still be excused, it implies that homosexuals are obligated to be BETTER than heterosexual content to be accepted. It creates this idea that homosexual content is somehow inherently more dirty and needs to make up for this fact by being morally superior in other ways. 50 shades of gray and twilight can exist with a littany of foul tropes and problematic themes that are completely put into a fetishistic light, and yes it recieves mockery and is called cringe (because it is), but how come thats all it gets while some yaoi has the same shit going on and is treated like the entire genre as a whole needs to be exterminated??????? nobody has ever said that all shitty novels made for lonely women need to be demolished because of twilight and 50 shades of gray, and anyone who has gets called out for their misogyny because its fucking stupid to act like an entire genre of content should be killed for some cringe loser shit being mixed in with it. All porn has problematic tropes, and its so homophobic to act like specifically the genre of gay men having sex is the most egregious offender of these tropes while passing off yuri as fine because the problematic tropes it houses feed into the idea of purity.

Like oh my god, the majority of yuri is not made for lesbians. Even though it is made by women, these women are not fucking queer women. They're straight women who are feeding into the misogynistic ideals of pure, feminine women remaining pure and feminine by keeping untainted by men while exploring eachothers bodies. thats why yaoi and yuris problems mirror eachother in that you see an abundance of heteronormativity in yaoi (big semes, small ukes; with the smaller feminine one being lured into a tainted world of sin by being gay or whatever) while yuri has the opposite problem with a lack of body diversity because it focuses on ideal feminine ladies remaining untouched by "sin" by only touching eachother. Why do you think that around the same time yaoi was full of shit like junjou romantica bullshit yuri was also notorious for being boring as hell with two girls thats have no personalities making out together? Because BOTH of these genres had these issues much more severely in the 2000s-2010s. Yaoi was too crazy with that sinning fetish while Yuri was too boring with that purity fetish. Its also so stupid when people keep using examples from that era of yaoi as evidence that western mlm work is sooooo much better and superior compared to the entire fucking genre because its comparing shit from ten years ago to shit made now. Idk if you remember but literally ten years ago pedo bear was a normal thing that was goddamn EVERYWHERE online. Culture changes and i can assure you western gay media was not so squeaky clean during that time either; but this is a whole 'nother enchilada to be devoured another time.

Anyways in short; its homophobic as hell if you embrace yuri but shun yaoi. All you're doing is showing you have a fundamental lack of understanding concerning the roots of yuri and who yuri is actually made for. You're acting like gay men having sex is inherently "dirtier" than straight people having sex and that they need to compensate by being more morally righteous. I'm not saying that the different problematic tropes found in each type of erotica is good and shouldn't be changed, but its homophobic to excuse straight porn while refusing that same grace to yaoi. And it disgusts me seeing people continue to perpetuate the sentiment of gay men being seen as sin and lesbian women being seen as pure (in an almost baby-fying way) only wrapped up in a new convoluted form of packaging while acting like theyre protecting homosexuals.

#its like how r/adical f/eminism and t/erfs are so 'pro-women' that they wrap all the way back around to being misogynistic as hell and #closer to alt right ideology than anything else #im so glad people are more normal about yaoi now #but i still see anti yaoi sentiments sometimes and it makes me genuinely mad #i fucking hate white girls. its always white girls doing this shit.#or some 17-19 year old nonbinary person who calls me a perverted faggot and is apart of the reason i dont really feel attachment to the lgbt #community #i have a lot more thoughts about how people treat the word fujoshi and fudanshi too #but thatll be for another time #one thing though is that if you say that the fujo/fudan lable is inherently bad because fu = rot #then you are fucking stupid because uhmmm you ever used the word queer?#im a rotten man just like how gay people are queer 🗿

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taxinealkaloids · 10 months ago

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my take on the agnes/gertrude/elias situationship is that gertrude seems like the most normal one to outsiders (she's less prone to arson/creepy mind reading at inopportune moments), but she is still the archivist and therefore kind of eldritch. everyone in the institute has just sort of accepted that yes, the archivist does sleep with her eyes open/is muttering incantations, and it's the least weird thing she's done this week

ok the funny thing is, technically, if by "most normal" we're going off of who is the most human, Gertrude is the normal one. but I don't believe for a second that that's how she's perceived among the rest of the archive staff lmao. like...all her assistants wind up dead, she actively works to make sure her filing system is the least effective one possible, she takes random mysterious vacations and comes back looking like she's just gone ten rounds with a tornado...I absolutely think that Gertrude has the reputation of being the eccentric on staff. I've prepared this diagram to illustrate my point:

#asks #tma #my art #thanks for your ask!! you're absolutely right that there isn't really a 'normal' one out of the three of them lol #'does your elias design have glasses or not lani' the answer to that is that he has glasses if im having trouble #drawing his face without them #my jonah has glasses 100% of the time so uh lets say he was myopic originally and his sight got better when he aligned himself with the eye #so he doesnt NEED them anymore but after wearing them for so long he kinda liked how he looked in them #and sometimes they add something to a look yknow #(i wear glasses and i actually think i look better in them i would miss them if my eyes suddenly were perfect)#so he sometimes still wears them. and if he doesnt feel like it everyone else just assumes hes got contacts in that day #ANYWAY that is irrelevant to the content of this ask. uh i think gertrude being weird and scary and never seeming to do her actual job is a #running joke among archives staff. like they make up potential crazy things gertrude could be doing right now whenever she's late or #on vacation (they could never come up with anything wilder than what she's REALLY doing)

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soap-is-an-artist · 24 days ago

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Hooray... it's 7 in the morning and I stayed up all night listening to the imperium... I feel so happy and satisfied with my life choices...

I am feeling very much not cowabunga, dude

[SEVERE rambling in tags]

#ouww it hurts!! it hurts!!! this is the stuff you're supposed to leave for angst fic writers not make canon in an alt universe?? ERIK PLEASE #i hate the whole entire world right now. genuinely cannot speak to anyone normally for the next 3-4 business days.#I have no one irl to rant to about this FUCK im stranded. im quarantined. im being held against my will free meee #The irl friend i have who knows anything at all about redacted only knows freelancer s1 i cannot drop this bigass plot on them #Genuinely i might start going mad out of repression. Erik writing “hope you enjoy” in the desc as if that wasnt the most painfully torturou #experience I've ever had in my life. The fucking inevitability. I knew Echo was going to pull some shit. IM JUST GLAD VIN AND FL ARE OK #they were NOT the turning point just let them live their cabin in the woods fantasy for however long they can okay...#Also I kinda love imp!vega. not the biggest fan of prime bc of the whole child beating situation but i sure loved this guy.#really knew what he was talking about when it came to revolutions and stuff. Like he's good. no disrespect to avior but vega did good #and he was so gentle with his partner which i find more appealing than torture but that's just me. that's just me i get it #And uh. speaking of that. Imp!sam. Yeah i get why some of yall are goin wild over him and i wish i could say i shared the sentiment but hes #too scary im weak like that. when i know a bastard would simply kill me without a care im just not into that yknow? or maybe you dont #Glad we got twisted gay damihux at the end though MUAHAJAJA that's one of the only redeeming lights that kept me alive #FUCKKKK SHIT FU K SJIT DAM ASHERS ENTIRE SCENE WITH BRACJIUM GOD HELP ME. ID DIE FOR THAT MAN #he's so fucking sad!!! he just wants his husband back!!! HE WANTS HIS FAMILY BACK!!!!!!#No even I don't understand how it's possible to get this attached to characters. I don't know. Im in deep shit.#Is this the end for me? Is my life over? These are the questions I have today. I probably just need to sleep because again #it's 7:30 in the morning. but regardless. These characters mean so much to me and this silly anthology has pulled emotions out of #me that i am terrified of feeling [survivors guilt hits me right in the fucking heart] and im scared. of what? don't know #That little shit Echo was right about one thing. It may not be real but the emotional damage it caused me is real. AND IRREPARABLE #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted imperium #redacted imp!asher #redacted echo #redacted imp!vega #redacted imp!sam #redacted vindemiator #tired of tagging. hitting the pillow. good night.

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firstroseofspring · 1 year ago

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memory, death and life as komerex zha, the perpetual game; klingon culture as depicted in the final reflection, by john m. ford

#star trek #web weaving #klingons #im normal about this. i swear.#please read the final reflection. 99 cents on kindle right now. i read it in one sitting very fun very entertaining very insightful #and spocks in it. if you even care #is that last quote not soo sarek coded. 'im gonna destroy you in this game son. every time until you learn not to lose so badly #but you will still lose. <3'#house gensa forever house rustazh foreverrr #klingonaase my darling i love you you're sooo latin coded #i really liked the singing and the idea of like gestures vaguely house gensa being three hundred kids with no formal houses or lines #to belong to. <- and so you will all be together. yayy new family!#i also liked the acknowledgment of like. other cultures existing on klinzhai (qo'nos) vulcans and orions living with klingons and such #this book really had it all im not done posting. theres more songs and looks at their food; daily life; clothing and how they decorate #houses. more examples of klingonaase lol of course cuss words and such. they also talk about battle language which if i'm not mistaken is #like clipped tlhIngan?#but they call it battle language and translate it for the reader. fun!#and of course the klingons end up on earth so theres insights on how they feel about coffee and human food. apparently the air on earth is #very thin and dry to them; every scene where they talk about klingon comfort standards they mention making it dark and humid and hot.#red lights and such! for inside #and they say the thin air on earth makes it hard to hear for klingons! i thought that was very cool #nobody:#me: they like salt water baths and dark ale and they wear silk and they eat pastries with butter. if you even care.#they mention human chair designs being uncomfortable for klingon anatomy too; there was a description i remember of house khemara #having cushions on the ground around a fireplace instead of chairs #its such a pretty description too; they have high ceilings and wooden beams along the roof and and sky lights for an indoor garden #iron railings for the staircases. mwah i love this book i really recommend it #theres something (gestures) here that reminds me very strongly of worf but i cant put my finger on it to be honest with you. not even like #the komerex zha specifically either like the vibes of the whole book.....

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james-spooky · 4 months ago

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this is a test

#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th #the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo #g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit #ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco #ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo #e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a #ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha #e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t #care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea #y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss #im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop #e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo #ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas #ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can #use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s #much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a #annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically #now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s #lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like #what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or #smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc #ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other #than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140 #haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai #let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o #what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some #one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james #im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh #w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause #ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:

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bougainvilea · 5 months ago

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i actually want to scream!!! dating is hard !!!

#im really putting myself out there fkirting with this guy and we had a date and we really hit it off and hes like reciprocating #but im just feeling sooo vulnerable right now !!!!!#im hyperaware of everything im saying and i feel like im putting my foot in my mouth constantly #like this even extends to other conversations im having (sorry alice) just bc like the emotions r so Ripe #i hope im being a normal person $!!! eugh #aya talks #boy

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 1 year ago

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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

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vacalimpia · 5 months ago

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i must say i did not expect getting a chronic illness diagnosed would be of any help, i thought it wouldn't matter since ive already had it unknowingly for 2 years, but it's actually quite helpful... I suddenly can hardly remember the feeling of having moments where I can't do anything because of my fibromyalgia, which is nice☺️☺️ Without it it feels I can be more optimistic.

But at the same time I can't help but feel the dread of having to take antidepressants for the rest of my life so i can get close to functioning like a normal person. I am quite dependant on them to go through the day without pain and be able to sleep properly. Something about that makes me feel a bit lonely😓😓

#i talk!!!#this one is. a bit of a downer as well as positive #like mostly the effects have been positive antidepressants really do help me a lot #it made me realize heavily that my previous lifestyle was. completely abnormal and I just convinced myself it wasnt #Ive also been able to take things more calmly since I'm now conscious stress is what causes pain to flare up #but at the same time im hit with the dread that im reliant on meds to function and will be for the rest of my life😓😓#it only came to me right now because i forgot to take my anti depressants when i woke up #so the brief hours where i wasnt under its influence i felt weak in pain and with an awful headache #and something about the concept of me being reliant on meds otherwise I'll feel that way makes me really sad #i wish being normal was a thing i could achieve without meds #fibromyalgia

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