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#im being brave about it a lot though.
szif · 1 year
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ok so. my problem is that i have nothing to do in my life besides being glued to screens at all times and don't really have anything i could do besides that. like i genuinely do not own any physical objects i could interact with besides these. i cannot hang out with people as much as i'd like to (but i take every opportunity to go anywhere with them) and finding new friends is hard because i'm overly friendly and i want to involve people in everything at first and some people just want me as a distant friend they sometimes wave at or dont really care about me and im over there bothering them until they cut contact (thats fine by me too). AND it's like, i genuinely have ZERO clue on what to even do right now. like yeah sure "turn off your devices and do something else" but i genuinely have nothing. and im overly depressed from the devices to do anything anyways. so like??
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bigskydreaming · 2 months
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The thing that kills me about the Star Wars prequel trilogy and why I will die on my hill that my problem is not that Star Wars is a tragedy, its that its a badly written tragedy, is that Anakin Skywalker was at his closest to being a good Jedi when he was ten years old.
#im not an anakin apologist by any means because I get the point of his character and Im not pro or anti jedi#my only real opinion on all of it is similar to what I was saying about Peter and Tony and the MCU yesterday#its badly written. its EVERYONE being contorted into shapes that dont make a ton of sense in service to#getting characters to where they need to end up for certain things to occur#my opinion is not that Anakin is inherently bad or good or that the Jedi are inherently bad or good#its that their entire conflict was set in motion by forcing the Jedi to act in ways that felt massively OOC when they were#first interviewing him as a kid and like.....I ACCEPT that the Jedi are supposed to be for the most part kindhearted and empathetic and all#of that which is why its so noteworthy in my opinion that this does not match with how they were FORCIBLY portrayed in those early movies#in order to ENGINEER the idea that this kid in desperate need of support but already with a lot of good instincts and positive traits#came to the order of kindly supportive literal empaths and everything went downhill from there#like kindly supportive literal empaths would not in my opinion look at a kid trying his best to be brave & stoic in completely intimidating#circumstances and surroundings and be judgmental and fairly dismissive about it as though theyve never met a kid before let alone a#traumatized one and the fact that thats kinda what happened is in contrast to how a lot of pro anakin people frame that NOT proof#that the Jedi order are inherently bad its that in that key scene and multiple others#the Jedi order were BADLY WRITTEN in pursuit of one pre-determined outcome that mattered more to the script/Lucas than#being true to their core conceit and characterizations. and thats just one example out of dozens I could list and the same holds true for#anakin's side of things so thats why I always steer far away from SW discourse#because Im like the problem with the characters in terms of the most iconic arc is not really any of the characters so much#as the plots refusal to let them actually consistently BE characters rather than just fixed and contrived stepping stones on the way to#the desired endpoint
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weirderscience · 5 months
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why do my AM posts keep getting notes btw its been a while since i talked about it and i dont like to pay attn to trends. did someone make a tiktok about ihnmaims or whatever
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mechanicalbowtye · 25 days
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read the scratch upd8. little too close to home
#tw vent#in tags at least#when i was reading hs like 3 ish years ago i related a lot to vriska and terezi cause i was in what i think was a really destructive#friendship qpp thing with my best friend online and a boy who liked both of us but mostly her.i was incredibly isolated irl as was my friend#and all my other online friends. i really should have seen that something bad could happen but i didnt and i got into a really deep#depression for like 3 months after but. my dearest friend girl decided to start befriending a 30 yo man and i. like an idiot. followed her#like a lovesick puppy even though all the warning bells were going off. we were in a gc with him that we texted in at all times of the day &#night and we shared selfies and dreams and our daily problems with isolation or hw or whatever. he got more and more creepy and my dearest#friend lashed out at him because she was scared while i sort of stopped talking as much because i was scared but. he still talked to me lots#in dms. he talked shit about the authority figures in our lives and isolated us from our ither online friends he made creepy picrews of me &#my friend getting married and he talked about moving in with us one day. we blocked him but sometimes he still tries to contact me. after it#blew up my friend left me and discord which is probably best and after my depression time i eventually got an irl friend or two but. i never#got over it. he did it to other people too we found out later. he always complimented me on being so sharp and talented and it was nice caus#it was really my first compliment from an adult who wasnt my family and. ig it got to my 14 yo head. anyways. the update made me cry. i had#read that it was bad and knew it would be bad for me specifically cause doc scratch always reminds me of that time in my life but. i didnt#think it would be that bad. i dont blame hs2 creators or anyone else and ig im glad i braved the storm but it was really painful to read#gonna go watch a more light hearted thing now.#if anyone sees this dw ill get over it#anyways. believe the warnings this update is very triggering and you can skip it if you want#glad i have like 5 followers rip
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difeisheng · 1 year
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waitineedaname · 4 months
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I think the most surprising thing about svsss is that it seems like it might pass the bechdel test
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electric-plants · 3 months
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did SO much grinding in fontaine last night that i’ve now earned enough to hit exactly 50 pity in my furina pulls we are GETTING there baybeeee
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pepprs · 1 year
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misery despair suffering etc etc
#purrs#delete later#two thoughts about separate things both causing the despair. thought / thing number 1 which i think ive talked abt on here many times before#but im saying it again: i am not good at being a friend in the ways my friends need me to be a friend. and in the ways friendship is thought#of societally i guess. i isolate myself constantly. i pull away from the opportunity to get closer with people i don’t know as well. i don’t#text back and then when im finally ready it’s been so egregiously long since it was appropriate for me to respond or reciprocate or#whatever it is i am so crushed by guilt and shame and embarrassment that i can’t bring myself to do it. i have so many unread messages and i#wont even let myself open them. and ive been like this for years. and i hurt someone very badly many years ago by being that way. and it was#more complicated than that but sometimes i remember it and how i acted and how i treated them. and i wonder sometimes if they check up on me#and i don’t want to be immature or weird or whatever for talking about it or wondering that openly. but if you do read this and you know who#you are: i am so sorry. i meant whst i said that i would never stop wishing you well and hoping the very best for you. and i hope you have#all of that and more. and im so sorry for not being brave enough to communicate with you or stick around. i really really am. and im sorry#to all the other people i have hurt by pulling away and shutting down and shrinking inside myself and not talking. ik it’s weird to post#that instead of just telling people directly but it’s the guilt. i am fully aware of how many people / groups of people i owe things to /#for but also just… miss. a lot. and want to talk to even though i won’t let myself. i don’t know why im like this and i don’t know how to#stop. but im sorry im not a good friend or even acquaintance or community member. and im talking to everyone now i guess including anyone#reading this bc god knows how many asks and messages i have on here. im sorry. i want to be a better friend. but i also never have spoons. a#and i also want to stay spoonless and cocooned on myself forever and never come out. and i hate that. i want to be a friend. i want to be#kind and giving and loving and generous in the ways you all have been with me. i want to hang out with people and send messages and be there#to lift people up and celebrate with them. but all i can muster is tapping like on social media and it’s horrific. i have gifts to make and#hello / checking in messages to reply to and roleplay starters to post and i just can’t do it right now and im scared i’ll never be able to#again. but it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. if i say i can’t do it then iwont. it’s not enougu to just be aware of it i have to act on it#and change it. but im exhausted and hurting right now and i have been for years and i need to heal first but what if this is healing.#idk. i rambled on that for much longer than i thought i would so nowim gonna say the second thing in a separate post. and it’ll be weird to#post about that in light of this and it’ll be weird to post this at all. but its been weighing on me so heavily today and i don’t want#anyone to think im ignoring them or not aware of being like this or whatever. and posting into the void is easier than telling individual#people to your faces even though i know it’s cowardly. im really truly sorry. i will try to get better once i have the strength to try.#actually yeah no not gonna say the second thing yet. it would be weird to say it now. this needs to sit a little first
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lunarhoneybunny · 1 year
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sighs. okay tmi posting sorry guys
#lunar bunny chatter#my horniness has been fluctuating the last day or so and it's definitely because of my period. this morning was crazy#i went to some DMs to listen to an audio message i got and i just died again and thought about some stuff which led me back onto tumblr#and i just went to look at some text posts and now that i look back. dude i have such an atrocious daddy/mommy kink it's actually funny#i mean. i really like the idea of being an appealing figure and my criteria for who i call daddy is so specific. there's just two people#that fall into that category but i don't like the other person as much as the other one. hi sorry for being gay i need this off of my chest#also hanging out with some friends and im so bad at comebacks and all that. how the fuck am i gonna top without stuttering and fumbling#and forgetting words.... that's my biggest worry. it doesn't help that i get super chatty when nervous but maybe i can work it in my favor#i wanna try out the title stuff just to test the waters before going absolutely ham. maybe as a cute joke i'll go “oh sure w/e u say daddy”#“lol haha” but it just seems real fun. i think it's hot too but. yeah it's a lot to unpack ahaha.#i still have a lot of guilt for talking dirty and being more brave when talking but that's just because i always felt like i didn't have...#the right to explore that especially when a lot of people i knew back then thought of me as “pure and innocent girl” and like. yeah fuck no#this was a really meandering ramble but my point: “daddy hot mommy hot i wanna explore that and im also nervous about stuff”#i do genuinely enjoy when i get in the mood though especially with someone i trust and like. click with? i hope that isn't too much to say#but it feels very natural and i don't have to force or hide anything. i just need a bit more confidence ahaha#that's all the rambling i got in me im gonna listen to some classic music from latin artists because im silly and mildly sentimental rn.
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m0llygunn · 10 months
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shy girl (eddie munson x fem!reader)
summary: typically shy, you aren't good at telling eddie what you want. finally brave enough to ask, eddie happily rewards you
cw: 18+!, mature language, petnames, smut, pinv sex (unprotected), creampie, anal fingering, shy/nervous first time anal reader idk, lots of praising, porn with very little plot an: wrote this a while ago and was suppose to be a 3 part butt stuff saga lol but i probably won't do the other 2 parts if im being honest. makes sense alone, theres just clearly a segue for the other parts at the end. kind of edited but not really. wc: 3.6k+
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Your stomach clenches, whole body quivering with nerves.
“Y’okay?” he asks from behind you, finger just barely brushing over the focus of tonight.
“M’okay,” you answer tentatively.
“You don’t sound okay?”
“I want to do this,” you say with an exhale, forcing your muscles to relax. You drop the side of your head further into the plushness of the pillow, back arching deeper as you breathe away the low vibrations of your nervousness. 
His hands rise up your lower back, palms flat to your skin. “You don’t have to.” He glides both thumbs up the sides of your spine before rounding them outwards, massaging an achy spot you didn’t know existed. You relax into it, taking another breath. 
“I want to, Eddie. Wanna try it.”
His thumbs return to the base of your spine before gliding upwards, doing it all again. You could fall asleep if he kept doing this— but you don’t. You push yourself up, craning your neck to see him perched behind you on his knees. His eyes flicker up from the movements of his hands on your lower back to meet your gaze.
“Eddie, I’m serious. I want to try it,” you convince, eyeing him. His naked chest glistens in a faint sheen of sweat under the warm light of the bedroom, courtesy of the ample foreplay that brought you both here. His disheveled hair is further proof of how the night has gone. He raises his brows, showing off the sincerity in his widened eyes, hands paused on your skin. 
“If it’s just for me, I’m fine with how we usually have sex— I love your pussy,” he smiles crookedly.
Worked up, bare, his cock already hard, and so close to your soaked entrance— it would be easy to give in and let him fuck you stupid, but you prepared for this, you thought endlessly about this, you want this. 
“I’ve never done anal before though, wanna try it at least once.”
His hands resume their movements, this time gliding down and over the roundness of your ass. His thumb brushes over where you want him.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Yes, Eddie. Please.”
“It’s gonna take a while if you don’t want it to hurt. We coulda been warming you up if you told me earlier.”
Your back arches deeper as you deflate, pressing your face forward into the pillow. You knew Eddie had more experience than you, you knew he’s done this before with other people, but you didn’t know how to bring it up. It was only in the heat of the moment when you managed to let the words slip from the tip of your tongue despite planning to say them at the beginning of the evening. At least this time you got the message out, last time you got ready for this, you chickened out on telling him what you wanted and went without.
Eddie brushes his thumb over your hole again before traveling down to your cunt, dipping into your wetness. Shallowly, he circles his thumb in your entrance.
“Shoula told me earlier, pretty girl,” Eddie says and your stomach drops with disappointment. You know you should have, you told him too late and now you have to wait again. 
His thumb pulls out from your cunt, trailing upwards. 
“Shoulda told me earlier, cause now I’m all worked up and need you— but you’re shy, aren’t you?” His voice drops to a low rasp that makes your disappointment vanish, heated excitement taking its place. “My shy girl, too nervous to tell me she wants me to fuck her in the ass.”
The warmth of your slick on his thumb circles around your puckered hole lightly, teasingly. 
“Are you my shy girl?” he asks.
You nod your head, the sound of ruffling cotton on your pillowcase acting as your response. You know Eddie doesn’t appreciate your lack of a real answer when his thumb stops it’s movement.
“Yes, I’m your shy girl,” you say quickly, wanting him to keep going.
“Good girl. My good, shy girl,” he hums. His thumb resumes circles before gliding right over your hole, adding increasing pressure that has your stomach squeezing. You hum happily, enjoying it so far but it doesn’t last for long when he removes both hands from you.
“Touch yourself, baby. Want to see your fingers in your pussy while I get your ass ready for my cock,” he says and your stomach flips.
“Touch myself?” you ask.
“Too shy to touch yourself f’me?” he asks, amusement laced in his voice. You hum, turning your head briefly into the pillow to hide, before taking a breath. 
“No,” you reply, the bashfulness of your voice telling both of you otherwise. You bravely snake a hand under your body, holding your hand flat over your mound. 
“That’s a good girl, let’s see you sink your little fingers into that pretty cunt.”
Hot and wet, your fingers glide in easily, an audible squelch of wetness sounding out that makes your skin heat from your neck all the way up to your cheeks. Eddie groans from behind you and it gives you the confidence to pull your fingers out, starting a slow pump. 
“Thatta girl, keep doing that,” he praises and you hear the mattress shuffle behind you. 
You turn your face to see Eddie but when you catch his gaze, he pointedly looks towards your cunt, reminding you with a raised brow to keep going. He shuffles off the bed, moving to the bedside table. Seconds later, with a clear bottle in hand, he crawls back into the bed, moving to sit behind you again. 
With the pop of a lid opening, your fingers pause as your mind’s focus shifts to what Eddie’s doing.
“Keep going baby,” he's quick to prompt. “Just gonna warm up some of this lube in my hands and we’ll get you started, okay?”
“Okay,” you reply meekly, making slow wiggles of your fingers inside of yourself, movements far too shallow and tame to get yourself off. 
“Gotta relax baby, focus on playing with yourself,” he guides as you hear the slickness of the lube being rubbed between his hands. He finally makes contact between your cheeks, rubbing the warmed up liquid over you. 
You try to continue plunging your fingers in and out of yourself but your attention wanes as the pads of his fingers rub circles over your hole. 
You resist the nervousness that threatens to creep in. It’s not that you don’t trust Eddie. You trust him more than yourself, it’s just new and you’re not sure what to make of it yet.
“Can you tell me what you’re doing?” you ask shyly. 
A gentle palm meets your lower back again, warmth spreading over your skin as he rubs soothingly. An appreciated affection that calms your nervousness. 
“’Course, baby,” he answers. “Just getting you ready and lubed up. The slicker you are, and the more relaxed you are, the easier it’ll be.”
You hum an agreement, trying your hardest to focus on fingering yourself. You start building a steady rhythm when Eddie’s hand pauses.
“Gonna start small, okay? Just gonna use my little finger at first— see how you like it.”
“Mhm, okay,” you agree. With his one hand still rubbing a soothing massage on your lower back, you feel the prod at your hole, slow and gentle.  
“Just, relax,” he hums quietly, “mhm, just like that, baby.” His little finger pushes into the tightness, and your own fingers pause completely as you take a moment to decipher the feeling. 
His hand slides from your lower back, down to rest on your hip. His finger pushes in the slightest bit further. When you feel the knuckle of his finger your whole body moves forward, away from the intrusion instinctively. 
“Hurts?” he asks, letting you pull away, leaving just the tip of his finger inside you. 
You shake your head. It’s not pain, it’s not something you’ve really felt before. “Just feels weird,” you answer, relaxing back towards him. 
“Wanna stop?”
“No,” you reply with another shake of your head. “Keep going, please,” you say when he makes no further moves. 
He pushes his little finger into you again, knuckle pushing past the band of tightness but this time you don’t pull away, you breath through the odd feeling. 
“How’s that?” he asks, stilling his finger inside you. 
“Feels… fine? Not bad, just… tight.”
“Yeah, s’really tight,” he breathes. You feel his finger wiggle the slightest bit and it makes your stomach clench from the strange sensation. 
“Wanna play with your clit for me? It’ll make it feel better.”
“What are you gonna do now?” you ask, wanting him to talk you through it some more. 
“Get you used to this, just go slow, in and out for now,” 
Gliding your fingers out from your cunt, wetness gathered between your fingers, you move to make circles on your clit, letting out a breath at the distracting pleasure.
Eddie starts slow movements of his finger, pulling it out before pushing it back in. With your fingers working your clit and the added pressure, you hum a quiet moan. 
“Feel good, baby? Like having my finger in your ass?”
“Like it, feels good so far,” you answer, picking up the speed on your clit. 
You get so lost in the buzzing throughout your body that Eddie’s words go in one ear and out the other as he guides you through the next step. You almost don’t notice him switching from his little finger to his middle, only when he gets to the knuckle again do you notice the extra stretch. Surprised, despite him telling you what he was doing, a gasp pulls from your lungs and your circles on your clit stutter. 
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah, just surprised me.” 
“Tell me if it starts to hurt, okay?”
You agree and Eddie starts a slow thrust in and out. The feeling is… interesting. It’s like pressure and quite different from when he’s in your pussy. 
When his knuckle slips in and out with ease, you feel yourself get excited.
“Ready for more,” you chirp quietly. 
“Yeah? Ready for two of my fingers?”
“Mhm, ready for ‘em, Eddie.” Your belly pools with heat just at the idea of two of his fingers inside of you. Your pace on your clit picks up again, having slowed down so you didn’t cum just yet.
He does it methodically, pulling his finger out until just the very tip is left inside of you. Then he adds his second, pushing inside of you so slowly that you nearly feel like pushing back into him— until he gets to the hilt of his knuckles again. 
Biting your lip, the stretch is close to being painful and you can’t help the way you tense. Eddie stills.
“My ambitious girl, thought she could take more already. S’hurting isn’t it?”
“No,” you lie unconvincingly. 
“No?”
“Just feels like a stretch,” you say, voice coming out squeaky. 
“Yeah? Wanna keep going?” 
You pause before nodding your head. “Wanna keep going,” you answer, continuing slow circles on your clit. 
His fingers prod deeper, knuckles stretching you out and adding pressure. When he finally has both fingers fully inside you, you let out a breath you had held in that clearly you nor Eddie realized you had held in.
“Baby, you gotta keep breathing. If it’s too much, tell me,” he admonishes gently, rubbing his opposite hand along your hip.
“It’s not too much… it’s just different. I want it so bad, Eddie.”
“I’m so fucking hard, you’re not making this easy for me,” he laughs softly.
“I do. I've been thinking about it for a long time. Really want it just didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Sweet, shy girl, you can tell me anything. You know I’d never say no to you,” he says as he starts moving his fingers again. You make a conscious effort to breathe, taking deep inhales and extended exhales. 
When he eventually gets you used to his two fingers, the way he twists his wrist with each plunge has you humming in the intimate pleasure. More than anything, the thrill of it all is what has you enjoying this the most. It feels good so far but you need more.
“Eddie?”
“Yeah, pretty girl?”
“Can you…” you trail off, shyness creeping in.
“Can I?” he prompts, slowing his fingers.
“Can you… can you do that but…” you trail off again.
“Anything you want baby, just gotta ask,” he says softly, hand rubbing along your hip still, encouraging you to say what you want to say.
“I want you to do that and fuck me too,” you say in a quick breath.
“Yeah?”
“Please.”
Eddie laughs softly, his gentle massaging hand turns into a quick squeeze. “I can do that, want me to stuff both your hole, fill you right up?” he asks salaciously.
You pussy clenches at the thought and you need it more than anything.
“Please, Eddie.”
He sinks his fingers deep into your ass, making you moan, lighting every nerve up in your body. He shuffles behind you, free hand guiding your thighs wider to accommodate himself.
“Gonna make you feel so full, you want that don’t you? You been thinking about it?”
“Mmhmm,” you hum. “Been thinking about it for so long, Eddie.”
“Gotta tell me these things, baby. Want to know every dirty thought of yours,” he grumbles in a deep baritone. His fingers twist with the movements of his wrist and you feel the prod of his cock as he drags it through your folds, catching your clit before lining himself up. 
“Please,” you whisper, pushing back into him. He lets out a low chuckle and he spares you your additional pleas that sit on your tongue as he pushes inside of you. 
The stretch of the head of his cock makes you whine and with the addition of his fingers in your ass it’s a fuller pleasure, one that gets more intense as he pushes deeper inside of you. 
“Eddie,” you whimper out, dropping your head to the pillow. 
“I know baby, s’a lot isn’t it?”
“Feels good Eddie,” you whine, arching your back deeper.
“Yeah? You like being filled up?”
“Love it, Eddie.” 
He draws his hips back and your stomach flips just at the thought of the pleasure to come. When he pushes back in, his fingers wiggle inside of you and your breath catches. He does it again and you swear your head goes fuzzy. 
He starts slow, his hips thrusting slow and lazily, barely grazing the backs of your thighs with each stroke. His fingers are what makes your breath stutter. He twists them in and out with the swirl of his wrist, and each time he sinks his cock inside of you, it adds unique pressure that has you reeling. Most of all, you like that it’s him doing it— you feel a profound intimacy having him like this that makes your chest squeeze alongside the burn in your lungs from having every breath stolen. 
“Want to add another finger,” he says and you let out a drawn out whimper. He coos, rubbing his free hand along the round expanse of your cheek and up to your waist. “I know you can take it, you’re doing so good f’me.”
“I can take it,” you nod into your pillow. 
He pulls back from you, enough to have just the tip of his cock inside, and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from pushing back into him. That feeling vanishes when you hear the click of the bottle lid.
“Just gonna add more lube, okay? Make sure you’re nice and slick for me,” he says in a soothing cadence.
“Thank you, Eddie,” you say. He huffs a quiet laugh and you hear the wet sound of the lube in his hand. 
“Don’t gotta thank me, pretty girl. I’m having fun back here,” he chuckles and your heart skips a beat at the thought of him enjoying this. It’s a warm feeling— the shared pleasure, it’s hard to explain but just feels good being together like this. 
Pulling his fingers almost all the way out, you feel his other fingers glide around your entrance. When he shifts, you take a deep breath. 
“Good girl,” he praises. 
His free hand finds your lower back again and the stretch of a third finger starts. It’s a lot this time. A lot more than all the other stretches. 
“Just breathe, there you go. Doing so good,” he soothes in a low voice. Feeling a heightened sensitivity, you don’t miss the way his cock twitches and throbs inside of you. While the stretch tinges painful, you focus your attention towards that, feeling the way his excitement kicks up in his cock. 
The stretch doesn’t give way to pleasure, but the pleasure comes from somewhere else. Somewhere deep inside where you feel connected to Eddie. You’re his like this, physically but emotionally as well. All his. It makes you throb, and you reach between your legs chasing that feeling. 
“Fuck, there you go,” Eddie says, voice turning gravelly. His cock kicks up again and he lets himself push forward, sinking halfways inside of you. 
His fingers, just barely past the knuckle, shift inside of your tight hole and it has you lighting up in a searing pleasure— pain speckled but so rewarding when Eddie lets out a deep grunted moan. 
“Don’t think I’ll last, baby,” he says in a strangled breath. 
“Just fuck me, please. Need it so bad Eddie. Need you.”
He huffs a deep exhale. His hand on your lower back pushes you down into a deep arch and you meld to the way he needs you. His fingers shift again and it’s like fire in your veins. You rub quick circles against your clit and with a deep breath that tickles across your spine as Eddie lets it out, he thrusts. 
Guttural and from deep inside of you, you let out a pleasure ridden moaned cry. 
He pulls back and rolls his hips to yours. 
You’ve never felt so full in your life and you love it. It’s thrilling, it’s connecting, it’s masochistically beautiful, and it pools in your lower belly, making your stomach clench in rigid convulses. 
“Fuck, feels so fucking good,” Eddie groans. His breath is heavy and only adds to your pleasure. “You like both your holes being filled don’t you, can feel you squeezing me so tight,” he says in a deep grunted babble.
Your moans surpass their usual shy quietness, and the way your pitch raises is barely within your control. If you didn’t feel so conscious-shatteringly good, you might be embarrassed about how your voice echos off the walls. Normally Eddie’s the vocal one, and even with his drawn out groans, grunts, moans, and dirty talk that choruses alongside your own, you’re undeniably loud and it has Eddie’s thrusts stuttering already. 
He presses his fingers downwards inside of you and it’s like something shatters. You’re almost at your climax, but that small movement has his cock pressing perfectly against your g spot, and the stretch, the subtle pain, and the blatant pleasure of your fingers on your clit have your muscles seizing. He thrusts as deep as he can, moving quickly in and out to push you over the edge, and you erupt into shakes that tremor through your body. 
Your legs threaten to give out and your head turns foggy with buzzing luxury. His thrusts continue and even with your eyes squeezing shut, your vision gets darker until you see the sparkle of your pleasure peaking through like stars. 
Eddie spews moans and grunts after whimpers and curses, and pulling his fingers from your ass, he quickly grabs hold of your hips in a pinching grip. Staying planted in your cunt, he chases you downwards on the bed when your legs finally give out. He follows you, prolonging your high, and finding his own as he fucks you into the mattress. 
“Fucking Christ— fuck, fuck,” he grunts, hips slapping heavily to your ass in quick thrusts. The bruising grip he has on you, and the urgency of his broken curses tell you he’s on the edge. He sinks his cock deeply inside of you, convulsing balls pressing against your cunt, and you feel the subtle warmth of his orgasm fill you up. Working himself through his high in shallow thrusts with stuttered grunts, the room is silent as you’re reduced to levelling breaths. You feel as light as air with the pleasure of electricity strumming through every inch of you. 
He’s pressed to your back, both of you completely collapsed to the mattress but you need to feel more of him. You shift, reaching backwards, and like he reads your mind he’s already searching for you with an open hand. 
He pulls out, rolling to the side and you follow, moving yourself to lay against his chest. His hand in yours, it’s sticky and wet and full of lube but you hold it tight, squeezing it within your own. He squeezes back. 
You hum with more satisfaction and good feelings inside your chest than you can communicate. Eddie brings his other hand to your back, rubbing it up and down, replying with his own hum. 
“That was really good,” you mumble, leaning your cheek to his sweat damp chest.
“So fucking good,” he nearly growls, the tone of his voice proving the assertion of his truth. 
You laugh softly, pressing a kiss to his chest. His heart hammers below your ear and the rise and fall of his chest soothes you, relaxes you. 
“My shy girl,” Eddie hums and from the lightness of his tone you know he’s smiling. Feeling brave from your post sex high, you smile to yourself.
“I can’t wait to feel your cock in my ass,” you say. Eddie lets out a deep laugh that vibrates in his chest. 
“Not so shy now, huh?” 
Cheeks burning with your smile, you shake your head.
“Want to do you too,” you say. You lose a bit of your nerve but the dramaticized gasp you get from Eddie, you know that he knows what you mean. 
“You want to do me too?” he laughs. 
“Mhm, want to fuck your ass,” you whisper, just barely mustering the courage to say it. You’re rewarded for saying it with smooth, soothing strokes up and down your back, and a chuckle from deep inside Eddie’s chest. 
“Who woulda thought my shy girl’d be so dirty,” he says, pulling you even tighter to him, hugging you extra close. 
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thel0v3hashira143 · 8 months
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❝ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐄! ❞
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ yuuji megumi gojo nanami n choso ☆ how jjk men act when they have a crush on you!
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ fem!reader, black coded but anyone can read
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ notes: ahhh the comeback post!! let's just say my old works were...less than coherent. but im here and ready to slay the day after 2-ish years!! take these crumbs while i try and find my footing again. stay hot lovies 🎀🎀
yuuji itadori 🌸
my babyyy (sob sob) yuuji would def try to impress you with his athleticism, bc girls like that stuff right? (gojo told him that...save him)
he frequently challenges you to friendly competitions when sparring to showing off his skills.
he def let's you get quite a few hits on him and he may even let you win from time to time (seeing your smile makes getting knocked on his ass worth it)
he might act a bit bashful, but he's straightforward. he knows he has a crush on you so why would he hide it?
expect nice gestures like him wanting to carry things for you, buying you food, watching all your fav movies, ect.
speaking of which, movie hangouts!!!
every friday usually you, megumi, nobara, and yuuji all get together and watch a movie
buuuttt if he's feeling especially brave he'll invite you to his dorm to watch the newest movie in your favorite series! (yes, he keeps track of when they come out)
he loves that it becomes y'alls thing and he loves it even more when you lay your head on his shoulder and doze off <;33
he also gives hella compliments cause something in my gut says his love language is words of affirmation.
anticipate many "isn't [name] just the coolest?" or "you look great today [name]!"
im telling you he could never run out of nice things to say to you, whether it be about your looks or personality
as soon as he realizes he likes you he takes down those pin up girl posters in his dorm
he also obviously thinks you're more beautiful than jennifer lawrence argue wit ur mama
he is also obviously a personality over looks guy so dont act surprised if you see him looking at you with a lovesick grin if he catches you doing something kind for someone
expect him to confess his feelings sooner rather than later
"yeah, why wouldn't i have a crush on [name]? shes beautiful and badass! but don't tell her, okay?"
megumi fushiguro 🌸
megumi, unlike yuuji is quite reserved, even with his friends
honestly gives no indication that he likes you at all 💀💀 he stares at you pretty intensely at first (to admire your beauty) but quickly catches on that you think its weird..
once you two get closer though, megumi would frequently express his crush through small gestures
he strikes me as a reader so i can see him recommending his favorite books to you or even lending you some of his.
you two exchange books often and he highlights quotes that remind him of you
i can also see book shop hangouts where you two sit and read together in some small bookshop he found in the city.
(he's just admiring you read)
he's not a huge compliment/affirmation guy but quality time is a big one for him
whether it be on missions, sparring, or out with the rest of the first year's, he enjoys any time he can have with you.
megumi is also very protective but like...subtly
he secretly watches out for you during missions, making sure you're safe without drawing attention to it
he'll insist you two split up but send one of his divine dogs to accompany you to wherever you go.
even when you're out and about in tokyo he always likes to stay close to you. he follows you around (not in a creepy way more like a lost puppy way)
follows you into stores you like even if he has absolutely no interest.
all in all he's just a shy guy who's whipped for you <3
"i enjoy spending time with you. a lot."
teen!satoru gojo 🌸
gojo...you bastard...(affectionate)
erm ngl i can def see him being a bully to you at first...
not like a bully bully but he def teases you a lot and it gets under your skin sometimes. (you hate him)
but in reality hes jus a spoiled litte rich boy in love.
once he realizes his feelings he still pokes fun at you sometimes, but tones it down hard and turns on his charm.
gojo's approach is confident and playful. he teases you, always with a charming grin, creating a dynamic that keeps things lighthearted and enjoyable.
he'll find excuses to spend time with you, whether it's offering to train together
unlike yuuji he doesn't care if he likes you this son of a gun will NOT let you win istg
it's like he's trying to rile you up, saying ridiculously cheesy one liners as he dodges all your attacks.
"thats the best you got? oh [name], we'll never get to be together if i keep beating you!"
one thing he does enjoy doing with you however, are snack runs.
gojo is a big back in disguise with too much money to spend so you already knows most of that goes towards food.
he has a huge sweet tooth so i can see you guys browsing multiple sweets shops in the city. if he sees you even look at something for too long he'll buy 10 of them.
every trip you guys both leave with full bellies and full hearts <3
gojo wants to be around you, and he makes sure it's fun for you both
his confession is likely to be straightforward. ccompanied by his trademark smile and his sparkling blue eyes peeking from his shades.
"you know, i've been thinking... i'm kind of into you. what do you say we make things a bit more interesting?"
teen!kento nanami 🌸
my emo boy ❤️‍🩹
nanami, with his composed demeanor, expresses his feelings (though you were unsure if he even had any) through thoughtful actions.
he remembers every. single. detail. of anything you say to him.
your favorite attist dropped an album today? he already bought you the cd/vinyl. you never got a chance to go to the store to get your favorite snack? he went 2 days ago.
he revels in the fact that he knows so much about yousnd the surprised look on your face gets him every time.
(haibara claims he's seen nanami smile at you multiple times but he vehemently denies it.)
despite his serious appearance, he'll occasionally crack dry jokes when it's just the two of you
look at that man and tell me he doesn't have a dry sense of humor 😭😭
you help him to relax and he feels he can truly be himself around you. when you two are alone its like hes showing a different side to his personality.
like megumi, i can see quality time being a big thing for him since attending jujutsu high leaves him quite busy
hes also not a huge talker so whenever you two do spend time together its probably somewhere intimate like your dorm or the library.
no words, just vibes. which he appreciates since he's around a bunch of yipper yappers all day.
nanami's confession is understated but sincere.
"i appreciate the time we spend together. it's made me realize there's something more i feel..."
choso kamo 🌸
my babyyyy no. 2 (i need him biblically)
let's get one thing straight tho. choso is a curse. in my opinion curses have no idea of love in a healthy, positive way so let's just say bb is confused.
he obviously knows what love is. he loves his brothers but he doesnt wanna kiss them...and cuddle them...
he goes to yuuji for advice (was it a bad idea? perhaps.)
"bro you totally have a crush on [name]!"
"a crush?"
after some further investigation hes pretty much got the gist of it.
one thing he becomes quite fond of doing is giving you small gifts from his missions.
these aren't typic gifts persay, like food, clothing or jewelry but more like knickknacks such as shells or rocks.
these tokens become a way for him to express what words might fail to convey.
i headcannon choso likes nature documentaries and after seeing that penguins mate for life by gifting a rock to their mate he's hooked.
idk but i also feel like he's very touchy.
he always has an eye on you in public and ik he does the thing where he guides u with his hand on the small of your back or he locks pinkies with you UGHHHH
with him being protective, he also subtly keeps an eye on you during missions.
he's not one to voice his concern directly but prefers to ensure your safety from the danger.
choso's confession might catch you off guard, but it's filled with honesty and sincerity.
"i've found myself caring about you more than I expected. it's strange..."
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ omg i actually really like this...(watch me hate it in a week) but reqs are open!! i have 1 or 2 more pieces planned to get me in the swing of things but take this before then. love y'all!!
𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲 ♡
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𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚!
𝙘𝙤𝙥𝙮𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙡0𝙫3𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙖143 2024
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willowser · 6 months
Note
i need more barbarian bakugo au or im gonna burst 😢😢
NOOOOOO bc !! ofc you know who he is, right ?? he's the next in line to lead your clan; you've seen him around your little village and at the smithy and felt the wind underneath the wings of his dragon as he flew overhead. you've stolen glances in the market, between the leatherworker's stall and the potter's kiln, and you've celebrated him along with your peers and you've watched him grow, from afar, into the kind of man that will come to be chieftain.
bakugou katsuki has always, always been—important. he was never among the litter of you that were escorted around by the clan childtender when you were just a young thing, nor was he ever involved in training for your first hunt or sat around the elders as the history of the clan was recounted to you; he grew up apart from the lot of you.
occasionally, his tender's would find him scuttling about in the fields with a tiny group of other boys, ones that were brave enough to wrastle with him in the dirt, or followed his commands closely enough that he allowed them to join him on unknown and unsupervised expeditions into the wilds.
you see him closely for the first time at his own nameday, at 16. it's a big celebration, a turning point in his young life, and he stands before the village with a face painted in the markings of a warrior, body unscarred and strong, and he hoots and hollers with all the etiquette of a feral child. which he might as well be, being raised by the kind of fierce chieftess that will no doubt go down in history.
your family offers a gift, as they all do, and it's you that climbs the steps of his family's hall and hand delivers it to him: a little clay dragon, a bit crude but made with care, that you've worked on for weeks. it's hard to tell how he feels about it, because he only stares at you in silence before huffing and puffing and baring his teeth at you, and then you're escorted back down to your family in the blink of an eye.
you orbit each other, distantly, though you never exchange more than a few passing words.
—so when the maidens that serve the bakugou family come to find you in the night, on the eve of katsuki's ascension to chieftain status, you're shocked to find he's taken lives and conquered settlements and tamed dragons and journeyed far and wide and grown to be the battle-hardened man that he is—but has never taken a lover.
and you're even more astounded to find that he's chosen you to be it.
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itonashi · 1 year
Note
Hi I saw your requests were open
Would it be okay to ask for a Nozel from black clover fic where Nozel who has been very busy for months and neglecting his wife s/o and ends up having a huge argument with s/o when she confronts him about it and they both give eachother the silent treatment but later finds her collapsed because she got super sick from the overstress and not taking care of herself cuz she thought nozel didn't love her anymore and would divorce her or she thought maybe he fell out of love with her and found someone better
I just love nozel angst to fluffs
ONLY LOOK AT ME.
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pairing: nozel silva x wife!reader
warning: neglect, sick, fluff, angst
note: ill be honest with you, i completely forgot what the magical team are called like i completely forgot the lore of black clover... sorry for the late. alot of things have been going on tbh.
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2 years of marriage with nozel silva.
in the beginning of your marriage, nozel treated you with care even though he was the captain of a magic knight group. you knew the responsibilities those captains hold.
you knew it all to well. nozel became too busy to the point that you don't even see a strand of his hair at home. whenever nozel became too busy, you didn't know if you want to confront him about it or just let it go — but he neglect you too much.
whenever you tried to ask him to eat dinner with you, it was always the same response — "i have mission" or "i still have a lot more paperwork" with that cold tone of his. you know nozel is trying his best but won't he look at you once when saying that? at least try to make sure you knew you were still loved by him.
it has been more than 3 weeks, you couldn't handle it anymore so this time you tried to be brave and confront him about it.
"nozel, do you have time right now?" you ask him with that soft tone of yours. nozel glanced at you "i do, what is it?" for the first time in weeks he finally face you and look at you in the eyes.
you breath in and out "nozel, don't you think you're neglecting me too much? i know that you have your duties as a captain but can't you atleast.. please, if you actually have the time to atleast tend to your husband duties? is this asking too much for you?" you were shaking because this is the first time you confront nozel about anything.
you hoped that his answer wouldn't hurt like a stab on the heart.
"i have been neglecting you? [name], i have bigger duties to do. i cannot just linger around. clover kingdom is the magic knight's responsibility and im a captain." he said with his famous cold tone of his. he sighed loudly and you can't help but grip your first.
"i know. i know that you have your duties but please atleast try to make it like you still loved me!" you exclaimed while you were on the verge of tears. you look down on the floor and nozel sigh yet another time.
"[name], stop being overdramatic. i will try to make time for you." he tried to reach out for you but you slap his hand away. "you better promise that then. don't make any empty promise..." you glance at him, his face was shocked with how you push him away.
"ah, nozel! im sorry. i didn't me-"
"maybe it was a mistake for me to have this talk with you."
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after that argument you had a few days ago, you gave silent treatment to each other. you didn't greet him home neither did he come looking for you. ever since that day you found comfort in isolating yourself in the bedroom that's always occupied by two people but now the other side of the bed felt cold.
it ruins your mental health though, without the company of your lover, you felt like your world is falling apart. the maids tried to make you eat the foods but you didn't. you kept rejecting them.
just like how nozel was, you started to be diligent in your duties on taking care of the house but you overworked yourself to the point whenever you stand up from your seat, you get a major headache.
you started to not going out of the house to have fresh airs and just locked yourself in. the staffs were worried about you. they whispered to eachother what will happen to you and nozel's marriage. will it break?
you sit on the edge of your bed while gripping your head "it hurts..." you mumbled to yourself. this time, you couldn't handle the stress and the headaches. you felt dizzy and nausea. soon enough, you fainted in your room.
hours later, nozel finally came back from his mission and wanted too relax in his room for abit when he suddenly saw the state you're in after he entered the room. he ran over to you and carried you to the bed, he called the maids to help him with you.
"[name], [name], what happened to you? please wake up!" he panicked seeing you in that state. your skin was pale and your breathing was also low. it put nozel into being an overthinker.
he questioned the staffs on the reason why you fainted. the staffs that was around him had a panicked look. they knew the reason why so one of them spoke up "[name]-sama has been overworking herself. s-she also hadn't been eating well. we tried to let her rest and also tried to make her eat but she refused too... also! we don't want to put any blame but we think that it's because of you, nozel-sama. maybe it's because of the big argument you two had few days ago..." the staff stammered, the staff looked around the room instead of meeting nozel's eyes while saying that. the other staffs agreed with what they said.
nozel had a shocked face after he heard the reason, he looked back towards your sleeping figure. "it's... because of me?" nozel thought, he bit the inside of his cheeks. he remembered the argument all too well. so because of that, you overworked yourself..?
nozel cleared his throat and ordered the staffs to get out of the room, the staffs hurried out of the room not wanting to witness nozel's wrath. well they assumed that nozel is gonna be mad at them.
the room is finally quiet with only you two's own breathing. nozel sit beside you on the bed and looked at your face. he felt guilty and regretted what he said. he knew the damage can't be undone.
but this time, he will try and only look at her. even if his work keep piling up, his wife's happiness is his first priority. he will try to be the better version. he will try to have quality time with her.
he will try balancing work life and his private life.
"if you thought that i fell out of love. i didn't, instead i fell in love with you all over again. you can't hear me right now but forgive me. forgive my behavior. im yours forever."
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ma1dita · 6 months
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🐥
okay I dont wanna seem annoying but it's 10:53pm and the ideas r coming in but I already sent an ask in so do whichever u want first 😭
bf!Luke when he's sick headcanons? (can be in an au where they're js normal ppl or can be them at camp, your choice !! 🫶🏼
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥
a/n: LIVVVVV i truly believe that if this man was sick with an SO that would take care of him he would be the biggest bitch alive just because he can
at camp:
it starts with a sniffle, luke trying to be oh so brave about it until he can’t ignore the sneezes that sound like they could shake the earth and all of cabin 11 (if you think those kids barely got sleep in general, you should see them get mad at luke’s dumbass going ACHOO for the 47th time that night)
so they rightfully complain to you to go get your man and drag his ass to the infirmary, because the cabin counselor he is loves taking care of others but throws a fit when they tell him to get checked out by the apollo kids talking bout “i don’t get sick, i’m too cool to get sick! heroes don’t get—”
yeah so he has the flu
one stern look from you sends him packing towards the infirmary, dragging his feet in the dirt and complaining the whole way
he puts up a fight the whole time, swatting the healer’s hands away to the point they want to tie him to the bed, and luke doesn’t like not winning
“luke just listen to the fucking healer and you’ll be out of here faster.” “bedrest! they want me to be strapped down here forever, babe, you know i don’t like not moving for that long! though if you were the one tying me down…” *sniffles innocently*
a cold towel smacks him in the face
you end up nursing his nasty germ-riddled ass back to health in a corner of the infirmary that you have to make your own for the next week and a half. 
but if you ask him, he felt fine after a few days—he just likes being taken care of by you
im bored lets do modern hcs too:
in this universe he’s still a little shit but at least you two live together in a cute little city apartment
luke’s laid out on the couch wrapped up in some of your coziest throw blankets as he scrolls through old reruns of friends, laughing at chandler’s humor because i imagine it to be a lot like his own (of course, if rick let him be funny instead of traumatized and an antagonist)
you’re making chicken noodle soup in the kitchen and the smell wafts through the air of your apartment even if he’s so congested his voice sounds funny when he talks
i think you guys would have two cats, brother and sister—absolute menaces, pouncing on him in turns trying to resuscitate their dad from his lifeless form on the couch to throw their little mouse toy around
that or a really big senior dog who sleeps at his feet and turns its head every time luke makes a funny noise
oh he’s still annoying in this one trust—you gave him a little silver dinner bell to ring if he needs you since you’re working from home in the other room but the problem is this man always needs you
ring. “babe!’ ring. “baby!” ring ring. “love of my life, absolute goddess among—*wheeze* humans, can you come here a second?”
“what’s up, honey?” “oh i just needed to see your pretty face. feeling better already!” 
you toss a pillow at his head and get back to your meeting.
when it’s over though, you join him in his little blanket fortress and he lays on your chest, sniffling and smiling as he pulls you into a kiss and thanking you for existing
you get sick after but it’s worth it. sort of like payback
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deripmaver · 8 months
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was the wagon scene in berserk sexual assault?
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i mean whatever lol. im ngl in some ways this feels like making a whole ass meta post about whether or not "casca enjoyed it." like do i even need to take this perspective seriously? yeah, yeah, i know, that's a pretty inflammatory thing to say, and a lot of the people who i've seen say the scene is NOT assault don't deserve to be belittled like that.
i think it's possible, and very interesting, to discuss the nuances of the scene. what was griffith's intention in that moment? why didn't casca bring up what happened to guts when he asked? how does this contradict or supplement what we already know about their characters?
per usual, though, most of the discussion of the scene itself put very little thought into one of the TWO main participants - casca. so let's do that, i guess, and look at the scene on the whole.
CW, i will show one eclipse panel (the kiss) in this meta, but that's is
what happens before?
the scene in the wagon comes immediately after the band of the hawk's encounter with wylad. wylad has thoroughly humiliated griffith in front of the entire band of the hawk, told them that griffith is totally defeated and broken, and tried to rape casca while griffith struggled uselessly, unable to help at all.
the band is regrouping afterward, and the reality of griffith's situation is sinking in to the members of the band. we don't know for sure if griffith can hear this, but the band is even discussing whether it makes sense for casca to permanently become the band's leader. where would that leave griffith? a burden, helpless, unable to even lead his own men.
griffith can, however, overhear casca talking to guts just a moment later. she says guts isn't reliant on griffith's dream, and griffith through the wagon can easily see their closeness.
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at this point, casca goes to griffith in the wagon.
so where is griffith? his men, who despite his capture have been sustained by his dream, are losing their faith in him because wylad showed how utterly powerless he is. meanwhile, guts is touching casca in an intimate, close way. he feels like everything is slipping through his fingers, even his particular place of importance for guts. he's lost guts to casca. i would argue this piece, seeing casca intimate with guts, changes his mindset even compared to where he was during the scene with wylad.
where is casca? she's still clinging to that hopeless dream. she was so lonely as the commander of the band of the hawk, trying to face the reality of griffith's injuries and the overwhelming way that their roles have been reversed. she's leaning on guts, on anyone, for support for the first time, while being forced to put on a brave face not just for the whole band of the hawk, but for her idol and savior.
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what happens during the scene?
casca is changing griffith's bandages. she knocks over a bowl of water, and when she goes to leave the wagon to replace it, griffith grabs her, and... well, that's kind of the whole crux of this meta, isn't it?
griffith forces himself on top of her. the question is why, and what's his intention? that's been discussed a lot on tumblr. the other question is: what does casca think his intention is, and how does she take it?
there is a lot of visual language in the scene that, to me, clearly indicates sexual intentions from griffith, and clearly indicates that's how casca takes his intentions.
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side note, i think griffith is crying in the above panel. could be sweat, could be tears... it's subtle enough to leave it up to interpretation.
that last panel in particular is EXACTLY paralleled with the kiss panel during the eclipse. the helmet, the direct eye contact, the pose... miura has always been very intentional with his parallels and his paneling, so i doubt this was an accident. the eclipse panel is just below, btw. scroll quick if u dont wanna see
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this is also how griffith and charlotte's sex scene started.
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the wagon scene and the sex scene with charlotte happen because griffith is doing something rash purely on emotion after feeling stripped of all power and no longer in control of a situation. it's not as simple as griffith being an evil rapist from the start, but you can easily see a pattern of him lashing out and trying to regain control through pushy/coercive sex with women. would griffith do this kind of thing normally? no, of course not. but nothing about the situations he's at these points in the manga are "normal," and again there is a pattern of him lashing out and using women as an outlet for his feeling out of control. they ALSO both happen because he feels like he's losing guts.
casca tells griffith to stop, and griffith does stop, but it's not clear to me if he stops intentionally, or if he simply is physically incapable of continuing. i've seen the idea put forward that griffith is terrified that guts and casca are going to abandon him, and so he offers his body as the only thing he has left in a fit of desperation. i'm not opposed to that being part of it - griffith has used his body and sex as an offering before, with gennon.
this is how griffith is looking at casca during the scene:
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one is normal and even wistful and sad, the other is...... fucking batshit LOL put those damn things away!!!! blue eyes white demon
one thing, though, that i want to say very clearly: griffith may have offered himself sexually to casca out of desperation, but it is very clear to me that casca did not want it. griffith fully forced himself on top of her, too, with his arms wrapped around her. if it was unwanted and forced sexual contact, regardless of why griffith did it or how much of a woobie he is to u, that is BY DEFINITION sexual assault.
this is the part that kind of drives me crazy. i don't personally believe that this was an act of self-loathing or self harm, like take my body because i have nothing left, but even if it is - it is still sexual assault. it is!!!! this isn't an argument!!!!!! yeah he was sad about it but it was still sexual assault!!!!
but anyways, enough about griffith. how does casca react?
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i've seen the fact that she doesn't push him off presented as evidence that this wasn't assault. i'll... get to that.
what happens after?
after, we get these panels of casca, obviously shaken, outside the wagon.
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she is clearly VERY upset. when guts approaches, he sees something is clearly wrong, but she brushes it off and says its nothing. when he keeps pressing, asking if it was something with griffith, she eventually breaks down and tells him that she can't leave with him. she has to stay with griffith, she has to care for him in his fragile, broken state. guts, on the other hand, has to go. even if its alone...
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is this reaction in conflict with the idea that what griffith did in the wagon was sexual assault???? no. not at all.
casca feels immense devotion to the band of the hawks, and especially to griffith. she reminisces about how strong griffith seemed to her while she bandages him in the wagon. he gave her everything - a purpose, a reason to fight, a dream, and now even though the event was terrifying she sees griffith's physical weakness and knows she can't leave him. she can't leave him. how often irl do women overlook instances where their boundaries were violated, or a man they're close with was sexually aggressive towards them, because of those pre-established relationships? because that's their boss, or manager, or idol?
and not telling guts - honestly, that to me oddly is evidence to prove it WAS sexual assault. i think casca's single-minded devotion to the hawks and their dream would have made it so that she wouldn't dare bring up griffith doing anything to make her uncomfortable, because everyone is already on the brink of falling apart. even before this, we see her putting everyone above herself to keep the hawks together - crying alone when she thinks no one can hear her, barely sleeping, so exhausted she becomes suicidal, there is no reason to believe she would bring up something that just upset HER. she is less important, in her own mind, than the good of the whole. it makes perfect sense that she would do exactly what she does - she cries alone by the side of the wagon and doesn't tell anyone what happened.
another thing that i want to be very clear about: the idea that because casca didn't immediately push griffith off of her, and because she didn't bring it up to guts, and because she decided to stay with him afterwards, that means it certainly can't be sexual assault? that is rape apologism. full stop. if your argument hinges on any of those things, your argument is rape apologism. this is not up for debate.
NOW - did kentaro miura in the 1990s in japan know about the nuances of how women react to sexual harassment and sexual assault? that i'm not sure about lol. the argument "this is not in line with the way i assume cishet man kentaro miura in 1996 would understand sexual assault, and therefore i don't think it was his intention to depict sexual assault" is something i can understand. that's NOT what i'm seeing though.
that being said, there is some evidence that miura DID have a very nuanced understanding of assault. here, we have griffith talking almost to himself (though casca is nearby), breaking down about how dirty he feels for sleeping with gennon.
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and yet, when casca embraces him, trying to comfort him, what does he do?
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HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
and yeah, guts kills gambino, but only because gambino tries to kill him. guts first reacts by crying and asking why?
finally, compare the above panels of casca after the wagon scene to casca after almost being raped by wylad, and after the eclipse:
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i mean, this is how miura draws casca when she's fucking going through it generally, but STILL. they are similar. she's shaking while bandaging him because he's so weak, but afterwards she is unable to mask how shaken she is. i don't think her reaction is JUST because he's weak.
this is so fucking long LOLLLLLL. i'm not interested in arguing with any of the various meta posts about the wagon scene not being sexual assault directly, or discussing it with the authors. if you want an alternate perspective, one that takes into account more of casca's POV, this is for you, and i hope you found this helpful! finally i've got this all in one place
tl;dr i think due to the framing you're supposed to see griffith's intention as sexual during the scene, casca very clearly doesn't want it, if your argument that it's not sexual assault hinges on her not pushing him off immediately u suck
uhhhhh that's it
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vxlentinescookies · 4 months
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This is a sequel of the previous Dark Cacao one were they fought and everything
Things have calmed down now, the awkward moment has open space for some time, peace and some further talks
But Dark Cacao has come into term with a little something
He likes Reader Cookie: (use any pronouns) are/is strong, resourceful, agile and very skilled, he could see so much potential, and it's a surprise to find someone who not only knows their way in a fight, but ALSO can match HIM
He wants to ask her out, the issue is: how!?
He was not a single clue, time to ask his soldiers for advise I guess?
Maybe even contact hollyberry?
(To resume, this is Dark Cacao finally knowing he likes Reader Cookie, asks others for advise to ask them out and fails miserably, but Reader Cookie is so amazed at the brave [though failed] attempt that decides to give the idea of a date a try)
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→ ❛Between the sword and your opponent, pt. 2❜
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→ Pairing ; Dark Cacao Cookie x Reader → Quote ; ❛❛It surely didnt go according to plan but, to say Hollyberry, who had been listening intently from behind one of the pillars, wasnt satisfied, would be an understatement.❜❜ → Genre ; Drama , Romance → A/N ; This was very fun hahah, pt 1 is here!
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Its been a good few days after the incident, the one where you shamelessly flirted with Dark Cacao in the middle of a fight. To say the king hadnt been thinking about it was… an understatement, he had thought about it, quite a lot. It had leaked into his daily like like the growing vines of grapes, and in return, they were twisting and shaping around his brain like a deadly respite. This, paired with the following talks you both had about the help the kingdom of Rose Champagne wanted to offer to the kingdom of Cacao, and the inevitable flirting that came with your personality, Dark Cacao seemed to inevitably start falling in love. It was a force of nature he didnt expect, that he didnt take in consideration, but as time passed, he realized that these feelings were ever present, and that there was no way he could keep them hidden.
Love, for Dark Cacao, was something he had long since given up on. He no longer seeked it, and he no longer expected it, especially after the falling out with his previous wife and the loss of his son, that he still deep down loved dearly, he no longer felt he had a place in the grounds of love, therefore, he simply stayed on his own place, allowing himself to be moved by the currents of life while focusing on the current moments with his kingdom, his subjects, and the war ever present with Dark Enchantress Cookie.
Thats perhaps what made this moment the more jarring to him, to be flirted with after he felt unlovable, after he felt undeserving of being loved—And then, the fact that his heart was starting to beat with fervor and energy yet again, for someone he once hurt unintentionally… It put his mind and heart at a standstill, confused as to how to proceed, confused as to what to do exactly.
“Damn, sounds like you’re deep in the trenches of love, old friend” Hollyberry would tell them once Dark Cacao sought them out for help, after all, out of all his comrades, the hollyberrian was the most capable when it cames to matters of love.
“Sigh, Im just, confused as what to do… I’ve given up on love a long time ago…” He said, looking down for a few moments, before turning back at her.
His hands were tainted with blood, and his mind haunted by the warriors long lost in the wars the cacao kingdom had been part of, not to mention the small guilt that followed him for having fallen in the trap that was Affogato’s tricks. He sighed yet again, because then there was you, someone hurt unintentionally by his hand, even if he was under the tricks of the snake, he still felt like he owed his people something. 
“Oh c’mon, rid yourself of that long face, Dark Cacao!” Hollyberry would snap him of his thoughts, as she’d laugh heartily “Its clear what you must do, you must act upon your emotions!”
“Act… Upon my emotions?” He felt like he stayed in square one, unable to think of what exact way to move thorough this new challenge. “Right, but, how exactly?”
“You speak as if you hadnt been in a marriage once!” She spoke yet again, frowning for a moment before patting his back lively, and perhaps a bit too strongly “Fret not! What you must do, is confess and ask her out on a date! Dosent that sound logical?”
Right, a date… If only he wasnt rusty in these themes, perhaps the idea would’ve seemed more appetizing, but as it stood, he was confused and didnt know exactly what to do or say. Hollyberry, noticing this, would just sigh and shake her head, she thought Pure Vanilla was THE challenge in the ancient’s groups when it came to love, but Dark Cacao? Now he was winning second place.
You had been resting in your quarters, quietly taking a nap when it happened, a soldier knocking on your door causing you to wake up startled, and once the door opened, you would look confused at the soldier in question, looking at you with seriousness as he spoke the words sent by his majesty. He was requesting your presence in the throne room, words that left you dumbfounded as you brushed hair out of your face before nodding. You didnt put much thought about it, as you dressed to come see Dark Cacao in the throne room.
Walking towards the castle suddenly felt colder than usual, and your steps felt heavier, as if you were expecting something bad to happen, but thinking about it, the worse that could happen would be Dark Cacao shaming you and sending you back after your constant flirting… which didnt seem to be the case, if anything it did seem quite… out of character? The king didnt seem to be that fazed by your flirting, so… But on the other side, you could be expecting the end of the trip as he declared that all was well, and that the Cacao Kingdom would continue relations with the Rose Champagne Kingdom… Not really out of character and far more viable… still, if it were to be the case, why were you hesitating? Why were you feeling so heavy? Confused, you simply approached the door before stopping.
Were you, were you falling in love? No, there was no way, there was simply no way that you were falling in love with the King of the Cacao Kingdom, was it…?
“Your majesty, I’ve arrived…” You spoke as you finally took a step inside, bowing in front of the king, before he’d dismiss the other cookies in the room, letting you both alone in the room. “Is there, something you wished to discuss with me?”
“Yes, ahem… (y/n) cookie, there are some matters I must get to… involving you”
You lifted an eyebrow as he spoke, his nervousness apparent as he left the throne and walked towards you. Each step felt dangerous yet filled with a certain sense of unknown that scared you in some way. Yet you persisted, until he was right in front of you.
“Will… Ahem… Will you go on a date with me?”
“Huh?”
Now it was your turn to be taken aback. You stared at him dumbfounded as you felt all your worries and fears fade away into the dark. He looked at you curiously and you simply coughed before looking at him, smiling.
“... S-Sure, I dont mind!”
“You dont have to if you dont want to…”
“No-No, I do want to! Lets go on a date!”
It surely didnt go according to plan but, to say Hollyberry, who had been listening intently from behind one of the pillars, wasnt satisfied, would be an understatement.
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