#im apparently a disgusting girl and no one will like me because of it. lol. lmao.

[npdlangley]

*remembers i got called disgusting. haha cool

[strawbearyhoney]

Just say you hate ppl with eating disorders and go

if someone were to promote depression ( literally using a pro-depression tag and telling other people how to get more depressed and encouraging others to self harm and be miserable ) and i said ' tumblr should block that tag ' would you say i hated ppl who suffer froam depression . lol

i have ppl close to me who have suffered from eating disorders and i have a complicated relationship with food myself . its one thing for ppl struggling with an ed to have a space to talk about it , to connect with other people going through the same thing , even to vent about it / their challenging thoughts and talk about when they relapse . its another thing entirely to make posts like " fat ppl are ugly disgusting monsters you have to be skinny pale and frail to be worth anything or beautiful " and then plop urself right into an echo chamber of people obessing and nodding along liek yes yes i must be thin i must be thin all i want is to be thin im disgusting

you are going to die . full stop . you are going to die . your organs will fail and your hair will fall out and your teeth will wear down from the acid of you throwing up so often . you are going to die and it wont be pretty . you are going to die if you do not get out . eating disorders kill people , full stop . liek i need you to understand how serious this is . you either recover or youre dead . this isnt me saying " i dont liek that these people are talking about something thats bad " or " ppl struggling with this should have no spaces to talk about what theyre going through " , this is me saying " the pro ana tag is so incredibly dangerous and tumblr should block it liek theyve blocked countless of other way less harmful tags " . this is me saying im begging you to do some reserach to get out of the echo chamber and i know its not that easy and you cant just say ' wow ur right im healed now thanks ' , but you have to want to get better and that starts with cutting out " thinspo " and to stop encouraging eachother to slowly kill yourselves

liek there are a host of other problems too . the fatphobia is an obvious one , but also the colourism , racism , etc . the pro ana / thinspo communities are obsessed with reaching this ideal of a skinny pale waif , so many blog titles and urls are centered around being ~ fragile ~ and ~ pure ~ and they only ever focus on white girls ( or apparently kpop stars now ) . its an incredibly toxic place . " meanspo " is a thing now ?? i couldnt stomach too much of it

but without getting into the ~ discourse ~ or how ~ problematic ~ those communities are . putting that aside . youre going to die . full stop you either recover from an ed or it kills you . and some people with eds are suicidal and that wont deterr them , for some their goal is to wither away into nothingness . ppl with eds are not healthy , mentally or physically , and that is not a moral judgment , it is a fact . people get eds for all sorts of reasons , from trauma ( abuse , bullying , sa , etc ) , from being fat in a fatphobic world , because they latch onto food as something they feel liek they can control-- there's so many reasons , an endless amount of reasons . i am not here to shame anyone for having an eating disorder

that does not change my stance on the fact that the " pro ana / thinspo " tags ( and their copycats . #proana #proed #thinspi #thinspii #thinspø #thinsp0 #ed not sheeran #ed not sherran #ana miaa etc etc ) are dangerous and should be removed . similar to how someone going into tha #depression tag and promoting and encouraging others to kill themselves should be banned

srsly if someone went into tha #depression tag and started posting and commenting on others posts liek " kill yourself , its never going to get better , heres some accessible ways to die , heres some suicide inspo , heres cute suicide note ideas , kill urself just die prove everyone wrong , everyone will be so sorry and regret the way they treated you , just die " , people would mass report them and dogpile them and be angry at them and get them banned . but when pro ana ppl do it suddenly its " let us cope " lol ????? not all coping methods are good or healthy or should be encouraged / promoted . and self mutilation is one thing , but when you are actively harming others it cant be left alone

to quote Blythe Baird from her spoken word When The Fat Girl Gets Skinny : if you are not recovering , you are dying

[redheadbigshoes]

do you think even as a non lesbian i could experience “comphet signs” (idk how to phrase it otherwise sorry), even in sexual fantasies, i sometimes imagined myself as the man with a woman, but i have no desire to identify as a man just to make that clear, i figured out my gender identity lol, i can relate to some, i picked one of my crushes, i literally have no celeb crushes on men, i don’t like the idea of dating a man, more so in theory, but when the interactions with men escalate to the point where it’s more than just him validating me i literally get so stressed out, i don’t have that with women, i mainly like girls i already know, my close friend was my first girl crush i recognised and there were two other girls that i knew and talked to one at camp one at school but wasn’t as close with them.

back to the topic, i relate to some signs of comphet, but then i also am unsure if i like men, i don’t necessarily feel disgust when it comes to men in general (at times sure cause theyre men), but apparently you don’t have to feel that as a lesbian, i’ve tried picturing myself with the perfect men, but in my mind that relationship is platonic, like i fear i think im a lesbian because i don’t have many great marriage role models in my life or a great father model.

i also am unsure if crushes (unsure if they were crushes on men but let’s just call them that for a moment) on men and women are supposed to feel this differently, many bi people say it’s different for them that it’s not always as intense etc, but men really stress me out, like compared to my girl crushes, my girl crushes always feel nicer, i get butterflies but the nice kind? with men it’s more anxious, for some reason. But at the same time i don’t feel like the crushes on men are performative like some do, i do daydream and such, mainly the scenarios are him being overly or just protective of me and in sexual fantasies i’m mainly degraded by them.

idk if this asks makes sense, i genuinely cannot tell if what i feel for men is attraction or just deep deep comphet, cause honestly i fear it could be the second one, but i also could be bi, like some bi people choose not to date men 🤷‍♀️ soo if this doesn’t make sense at any point i can just clarify it in the ask again!

I get what you’re saying.

When we say lesbians are the only ones (perhaps us and strictly aro/ace women) who can experience comphet, it’s more in the sense of we’re the only ones who experience “fake attraction” to men. Someone who is genuinely attracted to men doesn’t experience this because they are attracted to men so their attraction isn’t fake.

However that doesn’t mean comphet cannot affect other women somehow. It can affect bi sapphics, pan sapphics, aro/ace women, even straight women. When it affects them it’s more in a sense of centering men in your life. It’s thinking it’s inevitable to end up with a man, it’s thinking you’re less valid if you’re not in a relationship with one, etc…

From the things you said it is very possible you’re not attracted to men.

A sapphic who’s actually bi and is choosing to not date men would probably not pick her crushes, when it comes to thinking about men sexually/romantically they probably feel something positive.

Not feeling anything at all when you’re trying to tell whether you’re attracted to someone or not IS NOT attraction. A lot of people think you must be disgusted to mean you’re not attracted to someone but that’s not necessarily what happens sometimes.

Anxiety (the bad kind, not butterflies) isn’t normal when it comes to someone you’re supposed to be attracted to.

[thegeminisage]

squeezing in a little korok hunting before i have to Do Stuff just kidding as soon as i finished typing that i had to get up. but NOW im back to hunting koroks

every day my map opens with everything on as default and i just caught sight of two more gloom spawn points and became Afraid. under one hand it kind of takes the fun out of it if i know Where they are under the other i become extremely terrified of even going NEAR where they are. so.

i did go ahead an enable lynels though because you have to be prepared for that shit and i was very surprised to see there are still quite a few on the surface! incheresting...

absolutely disgusted with my past self for doing SO many shrines without getting the chest. what was she thinking!!! girl you never leave the chest! and since i don't have any fans (i have 2 left but theyre for emergencies only), i can't go in and get them without losing my bike and having to spend zonaite to make a new one...after i finish this section, im tracking some fans down for sure. and THEN im gonna expand my energy wells

aw man the spring of power...i'll never forget the memory from here!!!! i can't go into the quarry tho bc Hands >:(

YOOOOOO this statue also wants to know about the mother statue........

oh shit she wants dinraal's claw........also, canonical dinraal she pronouns. hell yeah

oh um. just kidding! i totally do have to go into the quarry! my bike probably wouldn't be able to get out this tiny hole...

this (dragging the bike everywhere) wouldnt be an issue if i just had more FANS. i have like thirty steering sticks. why am i so short on fans!!

i am Extremely Close to the spawn point adn i am Very scared.

oh you know what i shouldve left a fast travel point at the spring of power...augh, but then i wouldn't have enough to do the other springs and still keep one at the temple of time...nevermind, i guess...

wisdom and courage both have one REALLY close by though...well, whatever. i only need to come back once, probably, and if it gives me more to do i'll lay one then. i don't want to go back near the quarry lol

i REALLY miss urbosa's fury. i don't know how to take out taluses that have a weak point on their back without it. this talus is super weak and yet it's taking forever bc i just can't hand a hit on it!

eventually got it with midiar bullet time bomb arrows. apparently this particular talus was a quest objective!

apparently the lynel in this forest is a normal one...maybe i'll try to fight it

oooh i'm v nervous. snapped a pic and saved just in case

GOT HIM!!!!! easy peasy. i'd hoped i was op for this and i am <3 nice to be op for SOMETHING

lost my bike ;_; i knew it would despawn...i mean i can make another but i'm trying to save my zonaite for batteries!!!

this one precise strike shrine is bullshit. i'm gonna have to get this particular chest later this is making me crazy

oooh using the bike to skip the long walk on the big sand spiral....n*ce

263 seeds!! not bad for just an hour or so

[just-some-random-blogger]

I just finished Game of Thrones and was feeling kinda empty so I started the House of the Dragon and I immediately regret it not because the show was bad but because I feel absolutely disgusted by the Targaryen name! 😭 like I was obsessed with them in GoT and wanted to know more about the them but now??? Mann make them walk through the streets of flea bottom nakey and ring the bell saying “shame” ( I hope you understand this reference lol) likeeee this family got pedophiles??? Incest?? rape?? Like damnnnnnnnnnn not even the Lanisters hit all these. Game of thrones had me thinking

Viserys ( Dany’s brother) acted that way for the plot but nope! It runs in the family tree or should I say circle 🫣 and I’m not half way done with the show have a feeling it’ll get worst

omg hey bestie. tbh i watched one (1) episode of game of thrones HAHAHAH so i cannot speak about it at all but i do know the feeling of finishing a series and kind of 🧍‍♀️ what do i do now

and HAHHAHAHAH your reaction to the targs HAAHHAH as you should. the only sane one on this website cos im not gonna like to you all i thought while watching is WHERE IS DAEMON WHERE IS MY WAR CRIMINAL WHERE ARE MY EVIL FAVS WHAT CRIME DO WE COMMIT TODAY WHO WHAT WHERE. literally watched hotd for the plot and by plot i mean:

i do understand the reference though! the shame bell is quite a meme. i don't know when i realized it was from game of thrones but i only keep remembering its from there when people bring it up HAHAHA.

Yeah. the targs are a bunch of inbred degenerates. what can i say when you keep it in the family, your psychotic tendencies tend to flourish. they're a family wreath for real. 0 trees in sight. as i saw in a post, tolkien describe places of evil by saying, 'no trees grew there' yeah. -100 trees fr HAHAHAHA

I will say I know like surface level about daenerys' brother. i didnt even know his name was viserys. i just saw a pic of him and was like ah yes a pretty boy v on brand. but apparently hes really gross and yucky and deserved to die? HAHAH so yeah. good for him? HAHAHAHAH viva la muerte

and the lannisters HAHAHHAHAH also have 0 clue about them tbh but i know that lena heady's character is apparently at least a formidable force to be reckoned with and a girl boss city girl slay. but then again yeah idk aslashflasfhas

love lena though <3 mother <3

[wariolandthepipdimension]

im so mad at myself. is it even my turn to vent yet probably not but fuck the rules baby

uh. tw for me yapping about suicide and general queerphobia and bullying and shit

i keep fucking staying up until 5 am on my phone because im scared of sleeping because i might have nightmares about otherwise trivial things that irritate me because im a stupid self centered bitch whos so scared of a little bit of hate because apparently its almost like that person wants to kill me.

and staying up on my phone isn't even the thing im worried about here its the fact that im mostly on tumblr. because its the only place i feel safe. and what if my mom finds it through the apps i spend the most time on and looks at my blog and sees that i dont strictly use she/her pronouns and supports palestine and supports all queer identities and actually does kill me. or at least does something that leads to me. you know. committing chapter 8 my life ends here.

and also the fact that i stay up all night and go to sleep until 1 pm. i feel so disgusting and lazy depression probably doesnt even excuse it atp im probably just looking for comfort since nobody else can give it to me i mean others have it far worse than i do lol

and Him. dont fucking forget about Him. i had a fucking nightmare about him touching me. not even in anywhere intimate just on my head. just the idea of him making any form of physical contact with me is fucking repulsive. im absolutely terrified to go back to school because what if hes planning things to do to hurt me. what if he has more friends to harm me. what if he hurts Her because Shes one of the only people who trusts me. he didnt even do that much he just made me extremely uncomfortable

literally the only four things keeping me from killing myself are my online friends and the spicy cookies from the hit korean mobile game franchise known as cookie run (specifically only peperoncino and habanero and capsaicin and the other scovillia cookies but my prove is still pointen) and the haha funny wario game released for the nintendo wii on july 24 2008 and the one girl from my school i have an extremely obsessive crush on and if she Finds Out™ then 3/4 of those things (or all 4 if she's sick enough to keep me out of school to "protect me further from the gay agenda") are gonna be taken away from me and. quick question to my mom. do you want a dead child? no? then get your shit together and stop making baseless threats against me for having human decency.

"why do you hide everything from me????????? 🥺🥺🥺" well if you never made those threats to me because i reacted in an almost justified way when you were being hateful about trans people i would have felt more comfortable telling you things. and dont even try and say "but i support the gays too!!!!!!! but not the mutilation psychos!!!!!!" youd probably tell someone to stop shoving it in their faces if you saw even a little tiny lesbian flag pin on their jacket. and stop using psycho for every person you ever so slightly have beef with. its getting annoying and not everyone who thinks trans people should have basic rights has a psychotic disorder. thank you <3

i wouldve been more hopeful about everything if my parents didnt have fucking fox news on every evening and not one not two but THREE FUCKING PRO TRUMP SHITSTUFF in their front yard. these fuckers never learn. i hope blue wins this year so i can see them wail and bitch about their stupid little fascist orange losing. but again thats just one of the dumb little trivial things that frustrate me beyond my limits. i find it funny how i pretend im just. not interested in anything political but. does a backflip

my fucking god can someone just fucking euthanize me. wait not even that. just fucking torture me and keep me alive. like do some wild shit. make the devil shiver even more than he would when a nice guy loses his temper.

i know im overreacting. i know im just making shit up like the self centered pile of flesh i am. but im so mad right now im beyond livid i might blast glittertown in my earbuds again to at least dull the rage

[theskyexists]

gundam last eps

fourth last ep

shaddiq is great. i just do not understand why he would involve the assembly RIGHT THEN when he was still gunning for president? (he literally could have simply NOT confessed to guel and let his father get away - then they would not have had any evidence. they could have said: why were you fighting us? but actually GUEL attacked him first lol) anyway his talk with Miorine proves that they understand each other perfectly and have the same moral DIRECTION.

Miorine says she’s just as guilty but she is really not. thats really overestimating herself. she killed lots of people because of negligence not deliberate attempts at assassination or endangerment

its really funny that im un-yuri-ing because of all this. Suletta has been an infinitely uninteresting protagonist the whole second season. she’s copying Earth House now i guess - giving people food when they feel bad.

genuinely feel like separating Miorine and Suletta was the stupidest decision this anime could have made. for me

wow the inside of that tomato looked disgusting wtf

SHE REFRIGERATED THEM???? THAT FUCKS UP THE FLAVOUR!!!

Nika is going to turn herself in??? GIRL!!!!!! you were under duress!!!!

this whole Nika and Martin plot is soooooooooooooooooooooo boring

‘sorry for ratting you out as a terrorist’

‘hey without you guys as friends i wouldnt have survived. ill just go to prison for a bit’

‘you can come to me with anything in the future’ (except being unwillingly complicit in terrorism)

‘thanks’

the most tell insted of show in the whole damn anime

why da fuck would shaddiq involve the assembly if it was only gonna dissolve benerit group....what the fuck. this is another higher level of politics that is completely ungrounded in anything we know

why does cathedra answer directly to benerit group anyway. how big is benerit group. is cathedra funded by benerit group? surely it doesnt have jurisdiction over ‘all fronts’. what other conglomerates have facilities on Earth? oh wait cathedra is apparently bigger than Delling/Benerit these two are just his most loyal members

oh ok elan is just hanging out here liek hes totally ok

suletta should have been called ‘grace’. no one who embodies this more. i liked her speech. finally we get a focus on her jfc

what why would they deliberately put suletta in the machine that kills pilots against her mother. they’re such nasty fucks

if ericht can sync perfectly with the data storm why can’t suletta? shes a genetic replica. you’re telling me she somehow synced by being exposed to shit in the lab? or specific experiences rewired her brain?

so WHERE is quiet zero, and why even manipulate miorine if she didnt NEED HER TO REACH IT. LOL!!!!!! THE WRITING IN THIS GIRLS AND GALS!!!!

i mean - so - why is Suletta no longer necessary for Eri to control shit. (such an unsatisfying development holy shit. WISH suletta was a cyborg. WISH they had to rip something from her to revive eri. WISH eri was supposed to take over her body. WISH prospera was planning to put Miorine’s biometric data into Quiet Zero that wold all have been more interesting than jfc discarding teh main characters as significant at all. and secondly. why isnt this enough then? because she cant walk around in her giant suit? she seems to literally be alive in there all the time now

Eri literally killing about 50 men. Eri truly is like - a terrible older sister lol. this really didnt seem like the person from the short story

somehow the assembly and miorine&guel both found quiet zero at the same time but not before prospera who thought blowing up some earth ochs gundams was more important than making sure quinharbor stayed intact and its people didnt die

literally paralysing and then killing some 50 more men. the anime presents this like its nothing.

where is Dawn of the Fold anyway....

killing about threehundred more men

miorine is like: the only one who understands at all that people losing lives = bad. but for some reason (which is untrue but which the narrative wants us to believe) she thinks its her active responsibility

random leida going for miorine. this shit truly is all over the place

------

ep third from the end

miorine being angsty would really hit harder if she was actually responsible

literally so goddam stupid that norea died after all. fucking sucks dude. goddamn

why have suletta fly calibarn when they have pharact right there AND schwartzette lol

‘she’s my fiancee now, you think ill let you talk to her?’ what is he doing....he said he liked her, she rejected him for miorine, then he stole her girl in the worst fucking way possible BY CHEATING. and now hes useless at gettign Miorine back on her feet so...he tries to scare off the one person who might be capable very lol

what the fuck.

lets duel over it? he wants to lose the duel again so that he can ‘wipe’ that HORRIBLE win from history. THIS IS SO JAPANESE OH MY GOD. are all pilots taught  FENCING???? WHY HAVENT WE SEEN THIS. thats fucking cOOL!!

‘what a fool i am’ - for what? for thinking he might win or for doing this stupid fight at all lol

‘ive relied on mom and ericht all this time’ youre allowed to rely on people suletta. you’re like....sixteen. what is this stupid propaganda. ok, you’re supposed to learn to make your own decisions like: lets not kill 1000 people

‘i cant give you a convenient peptalk. you have to decide on your own’

she just said shed decided

man. the writing team really decided to have miorine spear suletta’s heart for zero reason and for suletta to go: ah well. my fault. i get it also now. and yknow miorine im grateful bc i met you.

is that the message here? like. uh. who cares what pain your loved ones inflict on you. just make up. im too wrathful a person.

oh how romantic lets go to earth together, ill open the door to meet you bla bla. sulemio is dead to me and i am sad about it

suletta’s hands always look so nice, strong and warm. but damn they still skimping on miorine’s animation

they shut quiet zero down and the assembly wasnt like -hmm maybe this is our chance. nope. no tactical mind to be found not in the whole military

Delling: again: it’s ok that he put Miorine through HELL so much so she almost killed herself bc again: you care about him so lets make up

oh. somehow quiet zero is already at plant quetta

so how is the data storm going to 1. allow eri to live more than she does already. i mean she’s using datastorms left and right right now. 2. why would it necessarily cause problems for communications? thats up to eri no?

so why are they going on about driving a mobile suit thats not calibarn now. what.

I do not understand what is going on in Guel’s head. He’s trying to watch out for Sulemio. Then he slaps himself.

oh ok. ‘youre all students, leave the responsibility to us adults’ THEN WHY SEND THEM INTO DEADLY COMBAT AT ALL LOLLLLL!!!!!!!

genuinely ship shaddiq/miorine now. HOW DID IT COME TO THIS OH MY GOD THIS IS IDIOTIC

so sad mio’s mother never became relevant with her genetic research and tomatoes.

the tomato-eating is disgusting in this anime

why cant suletta co-exist with the datastorm. whai

‘so it’s suletta’ - does NOT call off the lasers. when she knows exactly what calibarns effect is. i despise both eri and prospera

why is guel always pitted against his fam

Eri literally shooting to kill Suletta. I mean. this gonna be a happy ending. i saw something about farmland meemaw prospera. uh-huh. what about eri big sister mass murderer - guess i both discard you and murder you.

ep second to last

Eri not just shooting to kill suletta but literally putting everything into the battle including all her GUNDbits to kill her. uhhhhh???

‘youve gotta go back’

‘no i cant turn a blind eye to you’

what kind of fucking response is that. shouldnt she be saying; ERICHT YOU KILLED HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE JUST NOW

why should i care about war crime war arms dissappearing people benerit group?

‘i dont want to hurt you’ THEN WHY DID YOU SHOOT ENDLESS LASERS AT HER BEFORE

‘is it ok to gobble up all these fronts, end all these lives?’

‘eri wouldnt do that’ huh? interesting

oh damn. uh-huh. ‘i care about you’ - yeah, its like prospera and eri could not even CONCEIVE of that. shit like that happens so often in anime it makes me wonder so seriously about the japanese psyche

Ericht. who. said in the short story that she cared about suletta and wanted her to be happy. now. LITERALLY KILLING HER because shes like: i care about you guys. my god. what a horrible little piece of shit

HOLD UP. HOLD UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AERIAL IS A DIFFERENT ENTITY FROM ERI???????????????????????????????????????????????????????? evil eri is not the same as actual big sis Aerial???

they threw in Elan even though hes not a trained soldier, can only pilot but isnt right now even. what the fuck. theyre on a strike team conssisting of....kids.

lol. he was about to fucking explode and he was like eh i guess i just will  - i liked that jeturk sibling moment. man lauda is lucky he didnt get guel right in the body - like guel did his dad

yeah isnt elan fucking pissed at that cathedra guy. hes got the fuckin idiotballs to complain about elan ‘rubbing it in’  i.e. making a snide comment about how he murdered norea

the whole plant has been taken over by prospera but they didnt think she would change the password AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

eri literally leveraging miorine’s life.... wow shes so fuckign awful. wow!!!!!

how the FUCK did Nortrette know that Miorine would ever need admin rights on Quiet Zero. what in the fuck

‘all of us will be a famil after all’

WAT

SHES INSANE MIORINE. SHES INSANE!!!

ok but evil eri still stopped a laser to protect suletta and prospera. we all good then?

ok so i guess i wont get an answer to whether theres an Aerial in there that is a better person and better sister than eri

wow. just when suletta was going to do something significant - she died

what? suletta went straight back into a gundam?? after already sustaining huge damage to her body. these episodes are just excuses for ten space battles in arow

the stakes arent even clear. one side says: oh this is liberation. the other side says: oh this will destroy billions of lives.

who is right? the show doesnt say

sappy old anime shit pasting over the very real way suletta’s shounen shit got people killed because capitalists are merciless. god theyre even destroying the strengths of season 1

somehow suletta magically fused with eri through the permet link

what the fuck she can just dissolve the whole group and sell all the assets to earth???? HAAAAA. only does this under severe duress

MIORINE HAD THE FUCKIN POWER TO SELL ALL THEIR ASSETS THIS WHOLE TIME AS PRESIDENT??????????????????OH MY GOD SHUT UP THAT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this league guy was like: oh its recharging? well just send some mobile suits then. now their own mobile suits pilots are in teh system thats about to get fucking blasted.

did miorine EXPECT to be able to broadcast to the whole damn system??? could have literally told the assembly that she’d dissolved the group BEFORE THEY ATTEMPTED TO FIRE A LASER AT EVERYBODY

Do love this soundtrack.

Assembly leader guy is going ahead with the laser just cos i guess

oh shit they projected the datastorm across like - literal space systems. wow lol. suletta really was like: fuck quiet zero i can do way bettter!

but also. then what the fuck was quiet zero even supposed to do then. and why was it bad

suletta raised eri’s score. because...uh theyre mystically bonded? but eri literally was like: shut up and get out the way ill kill you dont test me! so i dont really get it

suletta is literally like: eh who cares that you killed hundreds and would have killed billions. i support you! then why did you even fight her

so you’re saying that what we’re seeing now is a super datastorm. that doesnt look too bad. why was anybody complaining. everybody meeting their dead loved ones for some reason. oh ok but the permet breaking apart at particle level destroys steel. uh what about mio

savingg suletta from space like suletta saved mio once. ok they’re still parallelism kings. where is everybody. who got dissolved? whats going on

why is miorine screaming at suletta in space when she needs to get her inside the gundam and breathing oxygen

NIKA WENT TO PRISON FOR THREE YEARS????????????? BY WHOSE JURISDICTION??????????????? BENERIT GROUP IS DISSOLVED???????????? THE ASSEMBLY FUNDED HER ORGANISATION????? THREE!!!!!!!! YEARS???????????? AFTER SHE RISKED HER LIFE ?????????????????????????? SHES A MINOR!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK MAN!!!!!!!!!!! sorry ok that was not prison? no thtat was definitely prison. she just instantly aced her exam afterwards. fuckin hell

how is guel still head of jeturk when the company has been dissolved. how is astiassia still open when it was funded by benerit group and when its graduates were trained for work within the group. how is the dissolution not an enormous hit to lagrange4 or whatever. how the fuck, once again, is jeturk still a company. where did elan get the money to help keep asticassia open? he left peil high and dry. who is he?

oh damn shaddiq is going to prison and his compatriots are all already out. how is miorine still an ‘official’? why is she speaking with the victims? i guess shes still pretty damn rich from liquidising the whole group. but benerit group is dissolved so who is administrating. ANYWAY

IM SORRY. IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAAHA the anime explains its happy end by saying: nobody understands how eri remained alive. THE END.

ill say: suletta’s hair is hella cool here. everybody seems to have shucked the stylish mullets thogh :/ though it looks nice. except nika’s hair which is dissapointing as hell. and miorine finally got an actual suit

Finally: i thought that for sure, like, for SURE, this story was going to be much more complex, interesting and emotionally compelling as well as coherent on both the social and interpersonal level. its like they were told suddenly: you get one more season and then CRUNCHED.

which probably happened eh.

weak ending. again. but it’s true: you gotta keep going and keep trying to do better even if you’ve made mistakes. even if the mistakes are unforgivable.

[midnightmisadventures]

okay jeff garlin just opened up about bipolar disorder and got kicked off his show for......harrassment??'

in the dream.....well it was a LONG dream. But we were on a school bus/big van on a school trip to the philharmonics and our bus crashed cause some kid flipped the emergency thing. Anyway, we were crashed and jeff garlin was......nearby? i guess he just stumbled upon the bus and he likes kids so he thought there would be kids but really everyone was my age

Anyway he came on and did comedy and told jokes but ended up sitting with me for the majority of the ride and i was wearing a white frilly short dress with crinoline and everything. Looked like a first communion ballerina. But when he was about to leave and i asked him for a picture and the iphone was about to die so i was doing in quick but in the camera i was wearing my grey brallette and i didnt know?? so then after i took the pic i was like omg i look so hot, thats why he sat with me. Like he was a grown man looking at my boobs??

There were other themes of pedophilia. A young girl found a pair of panties on the ground and lied and said "these are mine, can u throw them out" because she didnt want one of the creepy bus attendants to keep it and jerk off to it. He was like "are you sure its yours?, cause if not i can take it for further inspection, let me hold it in my hands" and she was like NO, throw it OUT.

So much other shit bro. Including actual shit. Like at one point these fucking little girls but not that little lmao were playing a "game" where they wore all black, snuck around on the floor and wiped literal shit on our ankles and the bottom of our clothes. It was so fucking disgusting like....i cant even....i dont even. There were these sponges in the seat pockets so i was trying to wet mine with some random girls drink and wipe it off but instead of moving forward and attacking other parts of the bus they were just hitting me cause i kept removing it. Like sorry im not gonna keep shit on my pants it smells so bad GO AWAY but they were basically like, well its supposed to be a challenge, stop wiping it off.

So i moved forward in the bus to get away from them but also to warn my other friends. Btw lots of sixth grade characters. Hailey was there and apparently we both went on tour. It was chilly bc people were complaining about traveling and kins and i were like "bro we literally did this in a tiny sprinter in 102 degree heat count ur blessings"

We kept stopping at motels but not staying at them cause they were too small and gross. We ended up missing the philharmonic show, out teacher/chaperone was so done lol she was pissed. Everything kept going wrong. There were additional celebrity guests.

There were cute boys who we were all wrestling with in the rain and being cute with. It was giving school trip vibes but im popular and friends with all the cute boys.

I dont know what state we were in, but we were on the bus and time kept passing like it was almost 11pm and the sun was still HIGH in the sky. It was so eerie and weird. I was like we're not in alaska whats going on broooo.

Umm....trying to think of more. When we finally arrived at a place all the florida fam was there and it was a rich mansion, i lost my class and then one of the workers at this luxery villa directed me to my mom and suddenly i was just like....with family trying to explain the crazy time i'd had. There was a movie playing on a projector screen in front of this big pretty heated pool. We were planning to watch a movie but there was a dance group performance on the screen first.

[morizoras-cave]

Persistent (Request)

Marvel cast x f!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: angst-ish, fluff

Request Description: Hellooo! Could you write a all the marvel cast men x teen! reader? Like they all go out to eat and hangout at a mall or something and when she goes in the women’s part of a store while they are all on the men’s side, some creepy dude keeps on hitting on her and like after she tries to politely decline his attempts and stuff rdj and the rest are like nuh uh this ain’t happening lol

Warnings: language, hints at smexual stuff, harassment, persistent asshole 

(A/N): this story includes anthony mackie, winston duke, sebastian stan, chris evans, robert downey jr and mark ruffalo. im sorry i didnt include alllll of the marvel dudes, but i just find it hard to cram them all into one fic :((( ALSO sorry if the ending is shitty hgssghsgsh

“You don’t have to bring me with you.”

“It’s too late, we’re bringing you.”

“But-” 

“Y/n, you are not spending your birthday alone!” 

You and Anthony were bickering like always. There was a short break in filming the next marvel movie, and while many people, including you, were planning on going home for the week, Sebastian, Anthony, Winston, Chris and Tom and arranged a ‘guys night out’, if you will. 

You were going to enjoy your birthday that day with your family, but a couple of days before your family had cancelled, because of exams and overloading work. They promised you’d celebrate some other day, but you were still bummed out.

Anyway, Anthony had somehow reluctantly made you admit that you were celebrating alone, and had decided to instead drag you with him and the guys to their ‘night out’. 

“I don’t wanna come and just be a bother to everyone,” you mumbled. Anthony sighed and looked at you. He then diverted his eyes back to the road. 

“You’re not bothering anyone, N/n.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to cancel your plans to the strip club or whatever you were gonna do!” You stressed. Anthony gasped like a TV mean girl.

“Did you really think we were gonna go to a strip club? Y/n, that’s private business, you don’t do that with your guys.” 

“Well, what then?” 

The mall, apparently. 

You and Anthony both stood with your necks craned to look at the proud and boasting sign, ‘mall of America’. He’d shut up after your question and just parked the car, leading you to stand exactly there, in front of that famous mall. 

“You’re gonna go shopping?” you looked at him. 

“Yeah, and what about it?” 

Before you could start another argument with Anthony, you heard a familiar ‘hey!’ and snapped your head in the direction of the caller. Winston, Sebastian, Chris, Robert and Mark were all gathered together, seemingly waiting for you two. 

“Hey, there you are! We were waiting for you,” Chris said with his usual big, dorky smile on his lips. Him and Anthony hugged and then he pulled back to look at you. 

“Y/n, you okay with spending your birthday with us?” 

“Whatever, man,” was all you could say, making the group burst into laughter. 

You would never admit it to Anthony, or any of the others for that matter, but it was actually a lot of fun. You went into many stores for no apparent reason. The guys bought and helped you make a Build-A-Bear, which you named Svenbjorn, and he had a little detective suit and a little bag. 

You ate at a Denny’s, where Mark unfortunately, but rather predictably, spilled maple syrup on himself. Then you looked around stores for fancy suits and clothes and gifts for their loved ones. Your mood was brightened, and the guys sure didn’t seem to be displeased that you were there. 

“Let’s go in here real quick,” Sebastian had said, and everyone walked with him into the clothing store. You hadn’t actually bought anything that day, so you decided that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to look around a bit.

“I’m gonna go to the women’s section,” you said, pointing to the area at the other end of the store. 

“Sure,” Robert waved you off, as him and the others crowded around a blue suit. You rolled your eyes and bounded off to the women’s area. 

Your eyes found a pretty yellow shirt hanging on a rack near the back. You quickly made your way to it, standing and admiring it, checking the fabric and the price. 

“Hey, babygirl,” a cocky voice sounded beside you. You turned your head to see a boy around your age, an ugly smirk on his lips. His words almost made you vomit the Denny’s pancakes you’d just eaten, but you shook off the feeling. 

“Uh, hey,” you mumbled, turning back to the shirt. Now you fiddled with it nervously. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here alone, huh?” his voice was strangely predatory, something about it just didn’t sit right with you. It made you feel alerted and uncomfortable. 

“Looking at shirts..”

“I bet you’d look good in this one,” he said. You didn’t have to look to know he’d found some sheer-ass, see through, titty exposer. You did however peep, and, yes.. You were right. 

“Look, I’m not interested,” you sighed. 

“That’s too bad, girlie, I could make you feel real good.”

You scrunched up your nose in disgust. Your fingers gave up their grasp on the shirt, deciding that it would be best to just get out of there. The sound of your boots hitting the shiny floor sounded, as you began padding away.

“Hey, wait, where are you going?” you heard him walking behind you, the action of persistence making your heartbeat speed up. You were now panicking.

“Hey! Why are you following her?” you breathed out in relief. Winston was standing not too far away, Sebastian and Anthony behind him. He had lowered his voice to sound more threatening, which you normally would laugh at, but considering the situation, you were pretty relieved he did it. 

All the three men looked pretty damn angry. You didn’t know how much of the conversation they’d heard, but obviously enough. Hearing another set of boots, you snapped your head to see Chris, Mark and Robert jogging towards the scene. You made eye contact with Chris, who furrowed his brows in confusion. 

The boy was now looking at the six angry and buff men, swallowing fearfully. He was shaking and surely starting to sweat. You smirked. Asshole. You walked over to stand between Sebastian and Chris.

“Are you okay?” they both murmured, searching your eyes worriedly. The fact that they were so protective of you made you smile a bit. Although, the thought that you needed several men with you to the mall to protect you kind of sucked.

“I’m alright,” you said. Meanwhile, Winston, Anthony and Robert were approaching the kid with disapproving looks. 

“Didn’t your mom ever tell you to respect women? Huh?”

“What’s your issue, kid? You had such a big mouth just a moment ago?”

“Don’t ever talk to any woman like that ever again, you hear me?” 

They didn’t even touch him, just the anger and seriousness in their voices and on their faces was enough to get the message into the kids head. He nodded, breath shaking. Then, he dashed off between Winston and Anthony, running out of the store, like a dog with its tail between its hind legs. 

When the other three turned back to you, they were still angry. 

“I can’t believe him! I can’t believe that asshole!” Anthony muttered, disbelief ridden in his voice. Winston had grown softer, looking down at you in concern. 

“Are you okay, N/n? He didn’t touch you, did he?” You could tell he was actually worried. 

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s okay, guys, it really wasn’t that serious,” you explained, wanting them to calm down. You couldn’t be the reason why their ‘guys night’ was ruined.

“Not that serious? Y/n, he wasn’t backing off when you told him to!” Robert seemed even angrier that you were denying the severity of the issue. You just shrugged.

“This kind of stuff happens all the time, this time I just had you guys with me,” you explained. By the looks on their faces, that wasn’t the most reassuring answer. In fact, even Chris and Sebastian and Mark (the sweetest human being ever, theoretically incapable of feeling anger) were angry now, scoffing. 

“That’s not- That’s-” Chris put his hands on his hips like an angry mom. Sebastian squeezed your shoulder, making you look at him, to see his jaw clenched. 

“Y/n, if that ever happens to you, no matter how big or small, just call us, please,” Anthony said, eyes catching yours to express how serious he was. You nodded. “I mean that shit.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll call you.” 

There was a moment of silence where everyone just basked in their anger, before Mark spoke up. 

“Hey, how about we just continue as planned and go watch a movie at the cinema?” 

Reluctantly, everyone started walking to the cinema. You noticed how your walking formation had changed, almost caging you in, protecting you. Although you, Mark and Winston kept a pretty solid conversation, you couldn’t help but overhear the other’s talking about how angry they still were. Of course, they had every right to. 

The night turned out alright again, as they slowly shook off their anger. The movie was great, and it created something new to talk about other than the ‘disrespectful little shit from earlier’. 

When Anthony drove you both back to the hotel you were both staying at, he had another serious conversation with you. He talked about staying safe and keeping a backup weapon and such.

He wasn’t usually serious, so you listened carefully. You were thankful that they had been there that day. So were they. And from that day on they all were a little bit more protective with you - whether it was in interviews or just in daily life - they kept you close and was always slightly suspicious of anyone talking to you. 

It meant a lot to you, and you thanked them, both for their protection, for an awesome birthday, and for one bitchin’ build-a-bear :)

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @eviemarvel @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun

[hematomes]

I saw your post about ppl losing their shiz about Kaeya fanart being “whitewashed” when it’s literally darker than he is in canon. I agree btw I love like basically all Kaeya art out there I love one eyepatch man.

anyhoo, I have a story. I once saw a tiktok about a kaeya art. it was specifically labeled “IN PROGRESS” or whatever so you knew the artist wasn’t done. it was a gorgeous piece of art btw. So far, the only thing that had been colored was his hair and some of his clothes.

pretty much everyone in the comments started harrasing her about how he was whitewashed and the artist had to be a white supremacist and i think someone said “see I knew everyone who played genshin was racist just delete the game at this point.”

i was just like 😳 wow jeez it’s literally IN PROGRESS the artist legit said so.

the artist eventually posted the final version (after having to delete the first video and deal with several threats) it did turn out beautiful, but on the comments there and on every post of theirs after people are lurkign in the comments bad-mouthing them.

as much as I definitely am for characters not being whitewashed (especially Kaeya bc I love him your honor) I think some people take it way too far when the person they’re yelling at literally just wanted to get people excited about their WIP.

hi! sorry im so late this issue became quite sensitive lol i had to work up the courage to come back to it. it's gonna be a bit long, but i really need to say all this

if there's one thing i noticed about the genshin community on tiktok and twitter, it's that there is a whole, whole lot of social justice warriors and overall it's extremely toxic. it's something that surprised me because the people i interact with on tumblr are all super sweet and not one bit toxic so? idk, tumblr is just a different breed i guess

your story is extremely saddening. everytime there's a kaeya fanart, people forget about the color theory and the artists' style and claim it's whitewashed and i genuinely don't understand why. if someone could explain it to me, am i missing something? im not an artist so perhaps im mistaken, idk, but i've never seen a fanart where kaeya was whitewashed.

the thing that pisses me off the most is that most of the time it's white ppl calling something whitewashed. i'm not saying you shouldn't call out racism if you see it just bc you're white, just that these people aren't even right - and often you see poc coming into the debate and explaining it's not whitewashed/saying it doesn't bother them. moreover, i've literally seen fanart of beidou as a black girl, which isn't representation in my opinion - beidou is already a poc, and asian people need at least as much representation as black people, so it's plain racism. same thing with kaeya, i've seen edits of him with stereotypical african features, and it's really sad that no one is calling this out but yelling about whitewashing as soon as he isn't the exact same color as the official arts. hell, someone even said "so what if it's darker? it's still whitewashing" and i??? am flabbergasted. whitewashing is absolutely disgusting, but ppl keep misunderstanding what it means and just using it to gratuitously harass artists.

now, don't get me wrong. i believe that you can draw whatever you want. but the thing is - if you get mad when someone draws kaeya white (if they really do, i mean), you can't just applaud someone else's that draws another character black. racism goes both ways, and it's bordering on fetishism. i, as a poc (mixed-race, caucasian + african), am extremely uncomfortable everytime i see this double-standard.

but anyway, the fact remains that sjw have plagued the genshin fandom. and it's not just about kaeya's skin color (we don't even know if he's really a poc - we know he's tan according to paimon, and i believe she called him "exotic"? so idk) but also about the ships. everytime i see a shippy tiktok, there's plenty of ppl out here saying it's wrong, claiming their own ship is the most canon. if i'm not mistaken, kaeluc is the one that gets the most hate, and i genuinely, once again, don't understand why.

i talked about them before and explained how it's not incest bc they really aren't brothers, but i swear every now and then i see people throwing death threats and slurs anytime someone hints at them. idk if you are familiar with the eng va's fandom, but sometimes they play among us together, aether's va does some livestreams where he invites different voice actors. but diluc's va is never there, and i was wondering why - recently i learned that it's because he retweet a fanart of kaeya and diluc fighting alongside each other (not even a shippy fanart, apparently) and people harassed him and excluded him from the fandom. and now the same thing is happening to griffin burns, childe's va, bc he retweeted (or liked, idk) a fanart of lumine and childe fighting or something and people called it pedophilia bc lumine would be a minor. i'm not even gonna dive into this bc the travelers are canonically like 30 times childe's age, but what i mean is - people are so full of hate and i can't fathom living like this?

the point is, i totally respect anyone who doesn't ship something i ship. i myself don't like certain ships - like zhongli/xiao, jean/diluc - but im not gonna harass ppl who do just because i can? that's messed up, i just don't get it. i wish the fandom wasn't that bad bc i really enjoy this game

anyway, im really disappointed but still grateful, bc my followers & people i've interacted with here have been nothing but sweet and respectful. i hope none of y'all come across the toxic side of the genshin fandom. stay safe y'all!

[iammarriedtothemusic]

The Internet Basically Attacking Joshua Basset

NOTE: I’m not calling out a specific fandom. I am completely aware that some carpenters also sent hate to this man, and that’s not okay. This is merely a short compilation of the horrible things the internet has done to him because of the DL drama. It is also fair to note that I am not actually a fan of Joshua Basset- but I do have a friend who’s a fan so I mostly got my context from him. 

Some of the pictures are mine, and some of the pictures are from other users (CTTO). I personally don’t have that much pictures because again, I’m not a fan- but I can attest to some of the death threats (also, am thankful for everyone who saw my compilation of Sabrina Carpenter’s death threats and sent me some of JB’s). I tried finding more but most of them are privated slash deleted but of course, this does not dismiss the fact that the internet sent death threats to Joshua Basset on mental health awareness month (and the last eight months) because of a fucking song. 

I am not blurring any username out because again, you posted on a public domain where your opinion is completely unprompted whatsoever, take responsibility. 

TW: invalidation of sexuality slash homophobic remarks (im not sure whether to label it as biphobia, panphobia, or queerphobia TBH because he never labelled himself but many of these basically dismisses the other letters in the community and straight up labels him gay when he never explicitly mentioned anything) (no, you can’t just make a homophobic remark and hide it in the guise of a joke, im not sure who needs to hear this but homophobia is not funny), bomb/death threats, slurs (censored), SA allegations

CONTEXT: Joshua Basset came out. He never explicitly mentioned slash placed a label on what he identifies as but it’s clear that he likes both men and women. (He said a few days later I think that he was still trying to navigate his way through all of it).

CONTEXT: There was a rise of sexual allegations against Joshua Basset. I personally don’t know how the case is going, all I heard is there are several allegations against him (my friend told me that Lie Lie Lie was written in 2020 about a friend who spread said allegations about JB), but I saved this from a thread that I unfortunately can no longer find :( that said, I have no idea about these and feel free to add more context! Thanks!

(edit: someone sent me a clarification about this, i was too drunk to reply properly but the ask itself is pretty clear. thank u anon!)

CONTEXT: Olivia had that white house thing and everyone made it about Joshua LMAO (Joshua had already been out by this time. Remember that he never said he was gay).

CONTEXT: Joshua complimented Skin, says he can’t get it out of his head. 

CONTEXT: Joshua Basset was hospitalized. There were many disgusting private QTs to this where they wished he d*** or somewhere along the line and I unfortunately can’t look into it (frankly im too lazy and ive already seen a lot of disgusting things). The ones below though are very viewable QTs/replies to an article about his hospitalization :)

CONTEXT: More on Joshua Basset’s coming out and the fact that everyone made it about the drama or the girls basically invalidating his coming out altogether (some were accusing him of queerbaiting)- seriously wondering where was Twitter’s performative activism when this one took place lmao

BOTTOMLINE- This is disgusting and this doesn’t even cover everything but the internet owes Joshua Basset a HUGE apology. I can’t even fathom how much hate this guy gets in his DMs. My friend (who’s a JB fan) told me that the hate where basically everywhere when SOUR came out because the entire internet apparently had nothing better to do than spin a few lines out of proportion to fit a damning narrative in order to act as hero when really, none of the hate this man gets is justified. Literally please get a hobby and stop hating on a twenty year old? Oh my god, my friend told me I would find more in IG but I don’t even want to get in there lol stay safe and don’t spread hate to anyone!

[buttterknifeee]

Tims S/O vs. the batfam

You, the reader, are Tim’s significant other. Congrats! you may think the hard parts over right? WRONG. you need to win over the whole ass Wayne family and heres how it goes.

Alfred

refers to you as Mx. L/N; however as you visit the manor more frequently, he begins to refer to you as Mx. Y/N

Since he refers to you as Mx. Y/N, you call him Mr. Alfred because you feel weird calling him just by his first name

No matter what first impressions you gave off to him, he never shared them due to not wanting to be impolite

you quickly realize that none of the bat fam helps with the chores, so you try to lend alfred a hand whenever possible

you try to be polite as possible around him, and he appreciates it

Dick

Is EXTREMELY protective of Tim

So when you first met him, he did the whole “you break my brother’s heart i will break your face” talk and that was TERRIFYING

Tim tells you not to worry about it, but whenever you were with Tim, you could sense Dick out of the corner of your eye, watching

However, as you spend more time around him, he sees that you’re really in love with tim and hes really in love with you

And you see that tim and dick have an amazing brotherly relationship, something you’ve never experienced yourself

One night, you tell dick that you wish that you had a brother as great as him

In that moment, he decided that he was gonna adopt you as one of his siblings and boom hes your big brother too now.

Duke

Duke being considered the newest person in the Wayne Manor, is basically your liaison, explaining all the dynamics and history of the Wayne Family/Manor

Super Charismatic, though hes clearly being observant of your every move, analyzing who you are as a person

But for the most part, he made you feel really comfortable at the manor

So the day you bought him a 1000 puzzle set was the day you basically won him over

You let him geek out about film and riddles, listening to every word he said, which was something that apparently didn’t happen often to him

Also duke straight up just third wheels you as often as he can

Jason

so basically

you were scared of jason

He was rarely at that manor, especially while you were there but when he was, he came in dragging blood or drinking alcohol

once while you were alone in one of the rooms by yourself, Jason came in, mask off, bandage on his right arm

he asked you, “so why are you dating replacement?”

“Why do you call him replacement?”

“Oh you know, because he replaced me when I died”

“oh. right.” Yeah you’re kinda stupid for that one

It takes a while for you to remember that jason is a vigilante who literally died and came back to life, and it takes him a while  to remember that you’re a teenager and not a crime fighting super hero

so yeah your relationship does improve a bit

Whenever you guys get to talk, he always asks you some really deep question that throws you off guard, but you guys end up having really meaningful discussions and you get closer with him that way

Cass

you were even more scared about Cass than Jason

She just silently stared at you sometimes: didn’t even try to hide it

Like duke, she analyzed you a lot during your first meeting with her, although she did it to a more extreme: just by looking at you, she could sense your breathing, heartrate, movements; she was basically reading you soul

From this, should was able to tell just how absolutely frightened you were to meet her, so she made sure to smile to calm you down

Whenever you were alone with her you couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward; not only was there a bit of a language barrier but she was not the most talkative person, at times you just sat in silence

So you would try to do things with her rather than talking: you showed her pictures from your phone, she showed you her fighting moves, and you made conversation through facial expressions and body movements

Steph

VERY AWKWARD SHE PROBABLY HATED YOU IMMEDIATELY THE FIRST TIME YOU MET

i mean whos gonna be happy about seeing their ex’s new s/o not her nope

She kept smiling and laughing but you could see the burning hatred behind her eyes

It took a solid month before she actually talked to you

and it took another month for you to pluck up the courage to ask if she actually hated you

She looked embarrassed and admitted that she did kinda hate you in the beginning but that was solely because you were dating her ex, but she saw how good of a person you were, so she doesn’t hate you anymore

She asked if you hated her, since she kind of ignored you in the beginning

You said no, since she was so cool and you could see why Tim dated someone like her

Yeah so now you’re besties

And you often talking about Tim and his dating antics, sometimes right in front of him lol

Sometimes she would joke about stealing you from him, making sure to give you extra long hugs, and give u a kiss on the cheek just to piss Tim off >:)

Barbara

definitely looked up all your information as soon as she found out you were dating tim

Immediately went to interview mode when she met you

Asked about your future plans with tim, your job, your future college choices, your darkest fears, your median income

“... Im like 16″

Asides from that, shes pretty chill

you dont see her often, but she’s always down for a talk!

Would acted like my aunt from new jersey (in a good way)

Damian

You were super nervous about meeting him

Tim recalled events with him like he was recalling a war

So you were surprised to see a 12 year old kid being the one shooting daggers at you

“Drake brought home another guy/girl/person”

“damian shut the fuck up”

one day you catch him painting in his room

You ask him about his various paintings and he tells you his inspirations from each, going on a long rant for a solid hour

He realizes that hes been lecturing you for an hour and looked at you, blushing a bit

“Damian, you’re an amazing artist.” you say. smiling 

Now Damian always tells tim that you’re too good for him, and everytime you banters with tim damian always took your side

Except when he saw you two kissing/cuddling, he would call you guys “disgusting pigs” and bolt out of the room

Bruce

ah, bruce. the final boss

You couldn’t help but feel absolutely terrified. 

I mean not only is he a super mega rich business man and also like super famous but hes also BATMAN

you are also almost certain that he doesn’t know who you are despite being with tim for a few months by now

Everytime youre both in the same room he is often too busy to look up from whatever hes doing or rushing past you to go somewhere

Tim often confides in you about being the middle child in the family, meaning that sometimes people dont notice him and its really frustrating for him and for you to hear

One day u and tim are chilling in the batcave and bruce comes it and freezes when he sees the two of you

“who are y- what are you doing here-”

“oh um hello Mr. Wayne”

Bruce kinda just looked at you with a perplexed look, but that was when damian and cass walked by

“Father. Drake. Y/N” said damian, with Cassandra smilng and waving at you, to which you wave back.

“Hey Damian” you say nonchalantly. “I saw that you’re working on a new painting. youll have to tell me ALL about it later.”

“Of course. Im sure you’re aware of Georgia O’Keeffe” 

You smiled and nodded, to which he gave the tiniest of a smile back as he and cass headed for the training room

Bruce just stared at you even more perplexed than before, I mean, you just made damian smile

You glanced at Tim, who seemed just as uncomfortable as you

“Oh yeah Y/N, didn’t we have that movie we were gonna watch? yeah lets go like right now.” Tim said as he pulled your arm took you out of the batcave, giving bruce the well talk later look

After that instance he talk to some of his children about you, and they had nothing but good things to say. Even Jason, who literally kills people for a living, put in a good word about you.

The next time you visited the manor, you were greeted by bruce himself, dressed up in a business suit.

“Y/N, correct?” he pulled out his large calloused covered hand and held it towards you

After a brief moment you smiled and took it

“Yeah, thats me”

[poutyyybangtan]

ready or not - j.jk

genre: friends to lovers, enemy to lovers, (almost a slow burn?), a mix of everything lol  character pairing: jeon jungkook 9bts) x female oc warnings: not really any lol just angsty fluff kinda stuff word count: 5.4k (it’s alot) authors note: i wrote this months ago and it’s not finished but i can finish it if yall want? let me know :)

______

(prompts from @im-here-to-help-you-all-write​)

“i think the longer you look at it, the worse it gets.” “yeah, kinda like your face.”

“i need your help.” “holy shit, i never thought i’d hear you say that.’ “please don’t rub it in right now.”

“i don’t feel like i’m ready for this yet” “you’re going to have to be, because we’re out of time.”

you can’t believe you actually had to do this. the last person you ever wanted to look at was your only shot at getting out of the situation you brought upon yourself. you had originally counted on one of your other friends to help you out, but of course, life never seemed to work out the way you wanted it to. 

“jin, please. can’t you just cancel and come with me?” you begged, watching as your older companion continued to chop away at some vegetables. 

“you know i would love to help bamboozle your family with my impeccable acting skills, but unfortunately, i do have a business to run. this weekend is a big deal for the restaurant and joon would kill me if i left him alone to handle such a thing. and besides, we all know joon can’t toast bread without having to call the fire department first,” jin laughs. you laugh softly, knowing jin had a point. poor namjoon had amazing business skills, but unfortunately that means he lacks in the cooking department. 

“i guess you’re right,” you mumble begrudgingly. 

“why not ask jimin if he can go?” jin asks, sliding the chopped vegetables into a pot.

“my mom knows him, she’ll know something isn’t right. and besides, he and hobi are going to a dance camp for school,” you shrug.

“and tae? yoongi?” jin asks.

“he’s got that test retake for his photography class and yoongs has an audition for an entertainment company in gangnam,” you sigh. you’re really proud of all your friends and the successes they have, but you really wished they could’ve helped you in your time of need. but you couldn’t be that selfish, so maybe you had to admit defeat. 

“you know, you could just ask jungkook,” jin asks nonchalantly. 

“you know i can’t do that,” you answer bluntly, refusing to even entertain the idea.

“i mean, you could,” jin laughs, putting the lid on the pot and onto the stove top, turning to you afterwards.

“jin, you know i can’t. he is the last person on earth i would ask to help me. i would rather die of embarrassment than to ask him for his help,” you dramatically claim.

“you just might if you don’t ask. besides, what's the big deal? it’s only for a weekend,” jin shrugs.

“yeah, a whole weekend of him pretending to be my boyfriend. jin, we can barely tolerate each other as is, having us cooped up together and pretending like we actually like each other is a whole other ball game,” you said.

“well, here’s the way i look at it. either you tell your mother that you don’t have a boyfriend and face embarrassment at your mother's wedding, or you can suck it up, ask jungkook nicely to do you this one favor, and have fun this weekend. you never know, jungkook might actually be up for it,” jin says, an underlying suggestive tone in his voice; one that you never caught.

you had to admit, jin was right. as painful as it was, jungkook was your only chance at escaping this nightmarish weekend. 

-

you found jungkook in his usual zone of comfort: with his lips attached to some random girl he probably barely knew. you found yourself scrunching your face in distaste. such a vulgar display in a library no less. you huffed off your second doubts and approached the table with confidence. you noticed that neither party acknowledged your presence, so you knocked on the table to gain their attention. reluctantly, the girl pulled away first to throw you a bitter look.

“jeon, can we talk?” you say softly, not trying to cause a disturbance.

“i’m kind of busy, can’t it wait?” jungkook asks, a smug look on his face, the girl sat next to him donned a complacent smile on hers.

“please, i saw you making out with some bimbo blonde yesterday, i’m sure you can find some other toy to play with when we’re done,” you smirk, watching the look on the girls face fall with every passing word that escaped your lips. she glanced over at jungkook with disgust before grabbing her belongings and walking away in a fit.

“great, well there goes my whole afternoon,” jungkook scoffs. he leans into his chair, folding his arms over his chest.

“you’ll deal. look, i need your help,” you admit, much to your dismay.

“holy shit, i never thought i’d hear you say that,” jungkook laughs ironically.

“please don’t rub it in right now,” you groan.

“how can i offer my service to you?” jungkook smirks, looking up at your obviously irritated figure.

“i need... i can’t believe i’m saying this. i need you to be my boyfriend for the weekend,” you spit out.

“you what?” jungkook asks incredulously. you don’t blame him for his confusion. what you were asking was heinous, add to the fact that you two barely tolerated each other? it was the biggest taboo situation you could’ve put yourself in. but you were desperate.

your mother, as loving as she was, was relentless. she just wanted the best for you. you were about to graduate college soon, about to get a real career and be a real adult. and to her, that meant start a family as soon as possible. and that couldn’t happen without being in a relationship first. and what better way than to hook your daughter up at a gathering for family friends? cause nothing says love like a wedding, right?

“what’s in it for me?” jungkook asks. you looked at him in disbelief.

“wait, you’re actually considering it?” you asked.

“well, you gave me a proposition, so why not?” jungkook asks. 

“uh, because we’re not necessarily friends? it’s not like you owe me anything to even consider the idea,” you chuckle.

“you might not be my friend, but that doesn’t mean i’m not yours,” jungkook shrugs, finally standing up and collecting his scattered books. you hadn’t actually noticed them before, you just thought that the library was a good place for jungkook to hook up, not an actual study zone. 

“well, uh, what do you have in mind?” you asked, answering his question finally. 

“i need a date for this work thing, and my usual hookups aren't going to cut it. they’re not exactly what you would say… modest?” jungkook jokes, causing you to laugh a little bit. 

“sound like a deal?” jungkook asks after a moment of silence passes. you pretend to consider his proposition, as if you actually had a choice. you look up at him and you can see that he saw that too.

“what kind of work thing?”

=

“where are you going?” jimin asks, watching you step out of your bedroom clad in a cocktail dress. you really would’ve rather been at your shared apartment, cuddled up next to jimin and tae watching some horror film eating greasy food, but alas, you had to uphold your end of the bargain.

“remember i told you that in order for jungkook to uphold his end, i have to uphold mine? apparently, he works at some magazine company and they’re having a company gathering to celebrate the issue's 90th anniversary and he needed me to come with,” you groan, strapping on your heels. 

“you’re going all out for this,” taehyung comments, a teasing tone hidden in his words. you looked up and glared at him, knowing what he meant.

“if i put forth 100%, maybe he will too,” you say. 

“oh, he most definitely will be putting in 100% effort,” jimin says, low enough for only taehyung to hear which makes him giggle. you look up and see jimin smirking at you which makes you groan internally. 

suddenly, the doorbell rings and you thank whatever being there is that saves you from the conversation that was happening, with or without your participation. you pull the door open and the first thing you see is jungkook, properly dressed head to toe. you notice the bow tie pressed snuggly against his neck, not a wrinkle in his suit jacket or his dress shirt. his long hair was parted down the middle, brushed out out of his eye. you hated to admit it, but he looked breathtakingly beautiful. 

“wow,” jungkook finally says, eyeing you in a way that made the blood pool in your cheeks. 

“uh, yeah. let’s- let’s go,” you murmur, noticing the boys in the living room giggling at your guys’ interaction. you shove him in his chest. he grabs your hands and laughs, pulling you out the door.

“what did i miss?” jungkook asks. you roll your eyes, noticing the way jungkook held onto your hand, even after you got further and further away from your apartment, but not minding the warmth his hand provided against your cold one. 

“trust me, nothing you want to hear, and nothing i’m willing to repeat,” you scoff.

=

jungkook was right. he had warned you beforehand that everyone at his job was stuck up and snobbish and would continuously point out that fact that you were no model. and like he had forewarned, all you heard all night was “you’re too pretty not to be a model” or “jungkook ended up with you?” you were appalled, sure, but you didn’t take their words to heart. you don’t know these people, and after tonight, you’re never going to see them again. 

but jungkook flinched every time someone opened their mouth. he felt bad for you, but when he saw you delicately handle the situation, he knew you would be fine. still, it didn’t make him feel any less bad. 

“we can leave whenever you want, you know?” jungkook whispers into your ear. you look up at him and smile.

“sounds like you’re using me as an excuse to ditch this snooze fest,” you giggle. jungkook smiles back down at you and laughs with you.

“busted,” he finally says.

“thank god, let’s ditch these runway wannabes and get some pizza. i’m starved,” you groan, looking away, missing the endearing glance he tosses your way. you both ditch the stuffy building, and headed to a late night pizza shop down the corner. you sigh in relief once you step into the restaurant, inhaling the smell of cheese and dough. you both decide to seat yourselves in a booth in the corner of the dining area.  once you both place your orders, you settle into a comfortable silence. 

“so, what caused you to conjure up this boyfriend lie?” jungkook asked after awhile. 

“my mom thinks that i need to be in a relationship to be happy since i’m getting ready to enter the real world,” you sigh, rolling your eyes and leaning into your elbows that rested on the table.

“thats stupid,” jungkook scoffs, leaning into the booth. you were caught off guard by this, expecting jungkook to somewhat agree with your mother.

“you look surprised,” he says, gauging your reaction.

“i kind of am. not gonna lie, i was expecting you to agree with her,” you say, shrugging. the waiter brings your slices and leaves you two alone, settling back into the conversation.

“no way. if you want to be single, you should. i’m sure you’re single by choice anyways,” jungkook says, picking up his pizza and taking a huge bite of it.

“what do you mean?” you ask him, slightly confused behind the intentions of his sentence. 

“i just mean that you’re insanely smart, funny and talented. and you’re extremely beautiful. if you wanted any guy, you could have him,” jungkook shrugs, munching on his pizza in peace. meanwhile, his statement sent you into a frenzy. who knew jeon jungkook thought so highly of you. you were under the impression that he dispised your entire being. he never really complimented you before, so his statement shocked you. 

“never knew you thought so highly of me,” you said, smiling to yourself. you can’t really explain it and you don’t know why, but knowing how jungkook truly felt about you made you extremely happy. 

“there’s a lot you don’t now about me,” he winks, causing you to roll your eyes and eat your pizza. and yet again, you missed the way jungkook smiled at you, enjoying your presence more than he would care to admit to. 

=

“i don’t feel like i’m ready for this yet,” you murmur, feeling your hands start to shake as you stood outside the venue. 

“you’re going to have to be, because we’re out of time,” jungkook smiles, taking hold of your hand and waltzing you two into the building. your mom had asked you to come early for a surprise so you decided to give her a surprise of your own.

“jungkook, maybe we should say you caught food poisoning and we had to leave,” you murmured as jungkook continued to drag you further and further into the building. jungkook smiled at your child-like nature and shook his head.

“we’ve come too far to give up now. let’s just rock this and get home,” he says, smiling at you. you felt a sudden urge of confidence that surges through you and gives you enough momentum to swing open the doors of the chapel hall. you were taken aback by the way the chairs are decorated with white pieces, hanging off the backs. you take notice of the pale yellow and white combo that you didn’t think would match so well. you felt happy for your mom and that she met someone who loved her so much that they were willing to do this for her to cherish the day.

“it’s beautiful,” you gape, admiring all the minute details your mother probably agonized over. jungkook admired the astonished look on your face as you practically ignored his presence to take in your surroundings. he always found you beautiful, but watching you be you while nobody was looking was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. jungkook had the biggest crush on you for as long as he could remember. and he refused to even fathom the thought of confessing to you when he knew how you felt. he knew you couldn’t stand his lifestyle, his choices that he’s made regrettably. but how else was he supposed to cope with the fact with the one person he’s allowed to steal his heart hates him. 

“ah, there you are,” a voice says from behind you two. you both turn around and you see your mom, hair curlers and full glam. 

“hi mama,” you smile, running up to her and giving her a big hug. 

“hi sweet pea,” your mama coos, swaying you both back and forth. you pull back and look behind you to see jeon smiling at the interaction. this made your heart jump for a split second before you returned back to your surroundings.

“ma, this is my boyfriend, jeon jungkook,” you smile. 

“oh my, you’re so handsome,” your mother gushes, rushing up to him and pulling him into a hug.

“thank you,” jungkook smiles, blushing slightly. you’ve never seen jeon blush before and to see him in a such a fragile state made you happy. and you couldn’t seem to figure out why. your mom finally released jeon from her clutches and she turned back to you. 

“hun, i’ve got a surprise for you. follow me,” she says, grabbing yours and jeon’s hands dragging you to what you assumed was the dressing room. there were two dresses that were covered hanging off of a clothing rack. your mom shoves you guys onto a couch and rushes over to the dresses.

“one of these beauties will be yours to wear for the wedding because… hon, will you be my maid of honor?” your mother asks, eyes full of stars that made your heart swell. you felt the air leave your lungs and your heart begin to race. you remember watching your mom struggle with love all her life, her face in a frown always. you’ve never seen your mom so happy now, and you would do anything just to see her happy. 

“ma, are you serious?” you ask, wanting to be sure this is what she really wanted. 

“of course baby,” she smiles. you jump up and hug her tightly, muttering a yes into her hair. you both squeal with delight, jumping in place like teenage girls. suddenly, another pair of arms are wrapped around you, chest pressed against your back. you managed to look up and see jungkook bouncing with you and your mom. 

“i wanted to join too,” jungkook says, his voice high pitched and filled with excitement which in response, made you giggle. you all finally stop bouncing and jungkook pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, catching you off guard. you felt your heart race and you swore his heartbeat matched yours. you brushed it off as it being the sudden activity you all had just endured.

“i’ll leave you two alone so you can try the dresses,” your mother says after she catches her breath, winking at you. 

“you’re just gonna let your daughter get undressed in front of her boyfriend alone?” you ask incredulously. 

“hon, he’s your boyfriend. i’m sure he’s seen more,” she giggles, exiting the room, leaving you with your jaw wide open. 

“can you believe this?” you ask, shocked at your mothers bold statement.

“i’ve always wondered where you get your vulgarity from,” jungkook teases, his chest causing a vibration that you felt in your back, reminding you of your close, read as nonexistent, proximity. you push yourself away and whip around to face him, catching a glimpse of him trying to fight the smile that tried its best to take place on his delicate features.

“i’m not vulgar and you’re not watching me change. however, i do need an opinion on the dresses, so i guess you can stay,” you say, walking past him to try on the dresses. you snatch both of them of the rack and head into the bathroom, changing into dress number one. 

at first you thought it was a joke, the frills and exotic colors making your eyes hurt from how loud it was. you tried it on anyway, and you couldn’t believe how ridiculous you looked. no way your mother was being serious when she picked this dress out. you unlocked the bathroom door and stopped your way to where jungkook was sitting on the couch, playing on his phone. you clear your throat to capture his attention and you nearly explode with the laughter with the way his eyes widen and face drops.

“what do you think?” you ask him, twirling around in the godforsaken dress you know your mother probably bought as a joke. 

“i think the longer you look at it, the worse it gets,” jungkook says, a dumbfounded look on his face. you withhold your laughter and stare at him in distaste.

“yeah like your face,” you scoff, playing with the dress as if you actually admired it. 

“are you gonna wear that?” he asks, secretly hoping you’d say no so he could release a breathe he didn’t know he was holding. 

“well, i like it, don’t you?” you say, continuing to pretend like you actually were considering wearing this deafening dress. 

“uh.. if you like it then… sure,” jungkook says, shifting in his seat. you admired the fact that he was trying to cater to your feelings and for some reason it made your heart race at the thought. you don’t know whats been going on with you lately but every kind gesture has made your heart race with excitement. you didn’t know when it happened, but you started looking at jungkook as more and it scared you. you couldn’t be with him. you knew that. jungkook had a reputation, and he was proud of it. he was proud of the amount of women he could pull in one night. hell, in one hour. he was used to the idea that feelings were a concept he wasn’t willing to understand or try out. and you had to accept that.

“i’m messing with you gukkie. my mom probably bought this as a gag, the real dress is still in its cover,” you say laughing at jungkooks face that was contorted into one of discomfort. you leave him to relish in your teasing as you retreat back to the bathroom to change into the actual dress. you could still hear jungkook laugh to himself as you unzipped the dress to change into the other one. little did you know, he was laughing to himself about the nickname you gave him. he’s never had a nickname he actually enjoyed before. he was still lost in the thought of you calling him gukkie forever when you finally exited the bathroom.

he always thought those scenes in cheesy rom-com teen films where the guy is staring at the girl like she’s the only one that matters was cliche. but he was wrong. so very wrong. watching you in the tight floor length pale yellow dress that just made you glow knocked all the air out of his lungs. you’re hair that was in a messy ponytail allowed some pieces of hair to frame your face as you continued to fumble with the dress.

“it’s a little longer than i thought, but it fits well, yeah?” you say, still looking down at the gown. you honestly felt ridiculous. you rarely dress up like this. you hid your body underneath baggy clothing so to have something so tightly pressed against your body made you severely insecure. the silence coming from jungkook made everything worse. you looked up to see jungkook leaning forward, elbows resting on his thighs, hands holding his head up. there was a look in his eye you had never seen before and it made your stomach churn with excitement.

“that bad huh?” you joke, hoping to ease some of the tension that was building in the room. jungkook stands to his feet and approaches you, his body so close to yours you could feel the heat radiating off of his body. 

“you look beautiful,” jungkook says, smiling down at you. you feel yourself blush and begin to fumble with your fingers, a nervous tic jungkook found absolutely adorable. jungkook was helplessly in love with you, this much he knew. from the way you laughed, to the way you rolled your eyes in his presence. he loved the way you gave yourself wholly to the ones you cared about, willing and able to do any and everything for the people you love. he loved the way you strived to work hard and how incredibly intelligent you were. and suddenly, his heart was full with all the love he was dying to give you, but know he never could. because you deserved much more than some player who was willing to sleep with anything with legs. but if he could at least pretend like the love between you two was real, even if for a short while, he’ll take it. as desperate as he was, he wanted to know what it felt like to have you love him back. even if he knew it was all pretend. 

“jungkook, i can’t thank you enough for doing this. i know you would rather be in some girls bed trying to figure out a way to sneak out without her noticing, but i’m glad you’re here… with me,” you smile, hands gripping his bicep’s to keep him close. his cologne was hypnotizing, causing you to pull him closer and closer.

“there’s no place i would rather be,” jungkook said honestly, placing his hands onto your waist, allowing you to lean in. 

“you don’t mean that,” you scoff, smiling and rolling your eyes, getting ready to pull yourself back from a dangerous territory. jungkook stops this from happening, wrapping his arm around you til your pressed flush against his body. 

“you have no idea how bad i want you. all of you. mind, body and soul. but for right now, for the sake of our friendship and the momentum its growing, i will take you in whatever way you will allow me to have,” jungkooks says, forehead pressed against yours as he wills himself to hold back from pressing his lips against yours and taking you on the small couch in the dressing room. the words jungkook spoke so honestly made you shake from it’s intensity. 

“jungkook i--” 

“how’d the dress fit?” you mother asks, barging into the room. you and jungkook scramble apart from one another, him taking seat on the couch and you standing in front of him. you mother misses the way you two seemed highly unfocused and nervous as she coos over how adorable you look in the right dress. 

“you need to finish getting your hair and makeup done, so scooch along so me and your beautiful boyfriend can get to know each other,” your mother says shoving you out of the room and directing you to where the other bridesmaids were getting their hair and makeup done. it wasn’t until you were sat in the chair that you realized.. your mother and jungkook were alone. oh boy. 

=

you never felt so girly in your life. your hair was curled and put up in a half up half down situation, your makeup light and barely noticeable, but enough to tell you were wearing it. this wasn’t you, you didn’t like wearing makeup mainly because at the end of the day you forget to take it off and causes acne. you were working part time and went to school full time so you always left your hair in a ponytail or a bun. this look was new for you and you were kind of excited yet nervous for jungkook’s reaction. 

you surprised yourself with the thought, not really caring about jungkook’s opinions before, but now it was all you could think of, and that scared you. you knew this was just a favor he was owing to you, but he was really going above and beyond and it warmed your heart. but you had to remind yourself that you were just friends, nothing more. hell, you were barely friends. had it not been for you incessant need to prove yourself to your mom, you two would’ve never even became cordial with one another. 

you brush these thoughts aside, trying to manifest positive vibes for such a joyous occasion. you leave the dressing room, filled with chatter, in search of jungkook who may be suffering your mother’s constant conversation. you return back to the room you first were in when you arrived, catching your mother exiting the room. 

“you didn’t scare him off, did you?” you tease, hugging your mom. 

“honey, you look beautiful!,” your mom gushes, taking in the sight of her daughter. you smile and thank her, happy that she was happy.

“is he still in there?” you ask, nodding towards the door she came out of. she giggled and placed her hands on your shoulder. 

“he is, and he is absolutely in love with you,” she smiles, causing you to furrow your eyebrows.

“what do you mean?” you ask, your heart starting to race. 

“the way he talks about you, the way his eyes gleam with love with the mere thought of you. hunny, this man is undoubtedly in love with you,” she smiles. you couldn’t believe what you were hearing, there was no way that jeon jungkook, the university playboy, is in love with you. you two barely conversed without an argument taking place. you doubt he knew anything about you, despite you two running in the same circles. sure, you knew a lot about him, just because your friends talked about him a lot and it was hard not to listen to sometimes. 

“you’re crazy ma. you need to finish getting ready, the weddings going to start soon,” you laugh, trying to brush off the conversation. 

“jungkook is in there getting ready, one of robert’s groomsmen caught food poisoning so he’s gonna walk down the aisle with your cousin, sam,” she said, rushing off to get ready, leaving you no room to reply. this wasn’t what he signed up for and you felt bad, so you went into the room to check on him. you caught him standing in front of the vanity, trying to finish off his tie. you had seen jungkook dressed up before, but there was something different about this time. you felt something more for him, and honestly, you always have. but his reputation…

“looking sharp,” you smile, looking up at him. his eyes meet yours in the mirror and he smiles, and this time you see it. the love your mother was talking about.

“you look beautiful, as usual,” he says, his charm peeking through. you scoff at his comment, walking up to him. you seemed small compared to him, and it was kind of an odd sight for you. you leaned your head against his shoulder, just staring at him staring at you through the mirror. 

“something on your mind?” he asks, noticing how lost in thought you were. you focus in on him and the surroundings around you.

“my ma said something interesting earlier that’s got me thinking is all,” you say, hoping he wouldn’t press the issue much further. you didn’t want to make the air awkward or uncomfortable by trying to involve feelings, but a big part of you want to know how he feels from his own lips. 

“what did she say?” he asked, his nerves jumping. he didn’t say anything wrong did he? he tried to be as cordial and respectful as possible, wanting your mother to like him. if things were to happen in the future, he didn’t want to be on bad terms with your mother. 

“she said… she said that you love me?” you murmur, you heart caught in your throat now that the truth was out there and you can’t take it back. jungkook froze, caught off guard by your confession. he wanted to play it off like it wasn’t true, that your mother was delusional. but he knew the truth. and he knew that you also knew it too. he wanted you. he’s always wanted you. and now, he’s presented with the opportunity to have you in any way he wants and he can’t make the move to move forward.

“is it true?” you ask, trying to get a clear and concise answer. you’re not sure what’s going to happen, regardless of what his answer is, but the anxiety of not knowing is starting to kill you. you shouldn’t be forcing him to confess, but now that it was out there in the air, you couldn’t take it back. maybe you should tell him?

“if you’re not comfortable talking about it it’s o--”

“i love you,” he blurts, interrupting you. you pick your head up off of his shoulder and now you’re standing side by side, staring at him through the vanity mirror. you’re frozen, unsure of what to do now. you didn’t actually think he was going to say it. you thought your mother was pulling your leg. but she didn’t know that you two weren’t actually a couple and maybe that’s why you had hoped what she said was true. 

“did you hear me?” he asks, voice laced with nerves. he couldn’t even begin to explain the amount of fear and vulnerability he was feeling at the moment. he meant it. he loved you. but why should you believe him. he was a playboy, and though you may never understand his reasons as to why he tried so hard to escape you by sleeping with other people, he wanted nothing more for you to believe him now. 

“i did,” you whisper, afraid that the sound of your beating heart was louder than the words you spoke. you wanted him, god you wanted him, but you were scared that his words were from false bravado. a heat of the moment feeling that was fleeting. 

“i know you might not believe me, and you have every right not to. but i love you with my entire being and.. it’s scary,” he chuckles, trying to explain his emotions to the only person he’s ever been vulnerable with. 

“and like i told you earlier, for the sake of us finally gaining friendship, i will play it to your pace and whenever you’re ready, let me know. because i’ll be here,” he smiles. he turns to you, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss to your cheek before walking out of the room, leaving you confused as to what the hell just happened.

_______

an: part two? let me know :)

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

another unsolicited relationship advice post:

okay. i know that there’s probably thousands of relationship advice posts on here. but anyway. to my younger followers, if i have any:

if anyone that you’ve just met declares that you’re “girlfriend material” or “boyfriend material” and that you must simply meet their parents NOW! or some other ridiculously short interval (like a week say), instead of, idek, like a month or two into your relationship, know that that is a possible red flag for trying to push the relationship too fast.

i say this as again, bc on some buzzfeed fb post about supposed “nice guys” i commented about my high school stalker/creeper from 2012/2013. who, when i first met him in 2012 at public school, he insisted that after two days of knowing him that i simply “have to meet my (his) mum and my sisters right now! bc you’re girlfriend material and i LOVE you!”

like woah! dude! i’ve known you for a grand total of two fucking days! i absolutely don’t have to meet your family RIGHT NOW (although if i’d ever been stupid enough to actually date my stalker back then, i would’ve had to meet his mum or one of his 4 sisters/all of them at once; at some point anyway…. bc they would’ve had to drive us to dates etc bc neither of us had our Ps (provisional drivers licence here in aus) yet at the time)). because i’m pretty sure the normal window is about 1-2 months? maybe 3-4 months? why the fuck are you so obsessed with the term “girlfriend material”??? what the actual FUCK does that EVEN mean?? get away from me. bc this isn’t love. it’s something else, that i can’t put my finger on.

compare this to clear braces boy from catholic school, who literally took almost 3 years to ask me out; and to even ask for my number. when he’d finally asked for my number right before one set of the winter holidays at the end of term 2/before the start of term 3 in 2010, i was so oblivious as to why he wanted my number…. when he’d never wanted it/asked for it before.

so when he called me, while i was still on the bus home from school, i was panicking like “OH FUCK THATS WHY HE WANTED MY NUMBER!!! HE WANTS TO ASK ME OUT!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!! WHY THE FUCK AM I SO SLOW AND FUCKING DUMB???!!!” he never pressured me to meet his parents (although at 14/15 it was very obvious that that was a standard practice since we couldn’t drive ourselves anywhere lmao). we were basically on equal footing, except for my slowness with cottoning onto him asking me out and why he asked for my number lol.

CBB had never pressured and harassed me about my virginity. he had NEVER harassed me with porn, most especially while at school, unlike mr creeper who LOVED pulling out his porn filled phone and school laptop to show me his overly violent, degrading and aggressive porn. CBB’s flirting method was showing me norwegian black metal bands (or normal metal bands like parkway drive) and making me watch repeats of family guy on his ipod at lunch bc he loved family guy. he never brought up the term “girlfriend material” ever. he treated me like an actual person. and not his own personal fuck doll, that had holes that were conveniently for sticking his useless and clueless ass teenage dick in, again unlike creeper who was hellbent on wanting to act out his favourite violent etc porn on me to let him “take your virginity in a wonderful weekend of sex down the coast and you have to do all things that I LIKE BC THAT’S THAT AND I SAID SO!!!” 🤮🤮. although if i had progressed further than those few weeks with cbb, and my constant *karen from mean girls voice* *fake cough, fake cough* i’m sick *regina george voice* boo, you whore!” act every time i didn’t turn up on date that he’d asked me on…. maybe he could’ve treated me like that. but i’ll never know lol.

so cbb was unlike mr stalker; who was obsessed with my supposed “girlfriend material” status. mr stalker was obsessed with the fact that i had the ability and audacity to basically tell him “no”, by coyly letting him down with “my dad says i can’t date bc it distracts me from school and getting good marks 🙄😑” (which probably wasn’t true, looking back lmao)….. where he then whined PUBLICLY on facebook about it, with a status like “today sucks”… and then naming and shaming me in the comments when someone asked in the post comments what was wrong like: “*insert my name here* said no! she’s being a bitch!”. that at the time, made me roll my eyes and still does today when i think about it. because bro. i had literally only known you for two fucking days at that point. of course i’m going to say no. what the hell??? two days is nowhere near enough time to know a person well enough (although the conversation we had together on misguided trip to his house one day while we were wagging (skipping class/playing hooky for americans) aboriginal studies told me MORE THAN ENOUGH about his piece of shitness tbh) to “date” them imo.

because to me, the title “girlfriend material” doesn’t mean any fucking thing. but when it comes from a creep like mr stalker; it means “you’ll be my girlfriend forever and have my kids bc you’re such a nice girl and you’ll fix me bc that’s what nice girls like you do; bc you’re SO LOYAL AND NICE!” which i also saw as a MASSIVE RED FLAG back then, because we were literally 16yo kids (he literally told me this when we were on his bed in his bedroom in the aforementioned misguided trip to his house). and i also saw it as a red flag bc…. just because i’m “loyal” and “nice” doesn’t mean that i’ll spend LITERAL Y E A R S trying to “fix you” while you fuck around and never bother to change your behaviour all bc you think it’s “girly” to do just that. it definitely DOES NOT MEAN that i’ll have KIDS with you, what the actual fuck. like i’m a hopeless romantic, to an extent, mr creeper. but not to the extent where i’ll give myself up to someone like you, all because i’m “nice and caring” and it’s apparently what “nice girls do!!!” or whatever else fucked up guilt trip views you’ve got on why girls/women supposedly have to waste their time with and on you.

and also, on another front. CBB never FOLLOWED me home (considering he lived in a suburb 20mins away from mine lmao and we both lived at least 15mins away from the catholic school we attended) despite me telling him REPEATEDLY to “fuck off and walk home your way”….. whereas unfortunately, mr creeper lived just over the other side of my suburb.

so one day mr creeper decided to stalk me home (despite me saying the above “fuck off and walk home your way” comment constantly to him in the 10min walk home). and then when we got to my street and in front of my house he decided to joke that “oh now i know where your house and bedroom are, i’ll come to hide under your bed naked one day!!!! and when you get home (bc i’ll obvs do it when you’re out doing something), you’ll just have to FUCK ME because you’ll be so surprised that im there and ready to fuck you!” as if i’d be so overcome with supposed lust & love for him, after knowing that he’d broken into my room against my will and messed with my shit….. all for some cutesy love prank…. like in, idk, love actually (???) or himym (specifically the “naked man!” episode from season 4) or some other shitty romcom. bc no. you’re overstepping SO MANY fucking boundaries that i’d literally call the police on your stupid fucking stalker ass. what the actual fuck.

finally, cbb never forced me to try to kiss him, unlike mr stalker…. who whenever he got the chance, he’d grab my head and force me to kiss him…. and then gave me back the utterly disgusting & controlling GALL to tell me that i was “kissing wrong” and whinge/bitch that i “wasn’t into it”. and then he’d force me to kiss him again with a “im so sorry does this fix it 🥰🥺???” like NO???!!! forcefully kissing me DOES NOT FUCKING FIX ANYTHING YOU STUPID CUNT! please just get the FUCK away from me. like if you force me into anything, of course i’m not going to enthusiastically enjoy it??? and moreover, don’t you think it’s YOU who is “kissing wrong” (whatever the FUCK that bullshit actually means) and not me???? why do you think GRABBING MY HEAD and FORCING me to kiss you is appropriate in ANY of these situations????

just. to end this. to anyone and everyone, regardless of their gender/sexuality/age etc. NEVER trust anyone who uses the term “girlfriend material”/“boyfriend material”, to describe you, most especially when you’ve JUST MET them.

they’re using it as a means to control you and possibly trap you into an unhealthy (or potentially abusive) relationship like i would’ve had with my stalker/creeper. but most especially, this goes out to my younger followers, if i have any. be aware of this. watch out for the small red flags and run at the earliest time.

[ivyuns]

violation❆♞♣

hwang hyunjin

genre: angst | bit of fluff

word count: 1.7k

warnings: swearing, mentions of guns, blood, death, pregnancy + not proof read oops lol

A/N: lol hyunjin kinda psycho in this

this was drowning in my drafts since may omg

masterlist

mafia!hyunjin x fembarista!reader

y/f/n = ur fiance’s name

you owned your own cafe in downtown seoul. your customers and employees were always great people and bought positivity around you. it was currently a busy day and everyone was in and out of the main entrance. the employees were trying their best to stay calm and keep a positivity mindset. you however, were distracted by the co-owner, hwang hyunjin.

hyunjin always seemed like that flirty but a suspicious type. everyone told you to stay away from him since you were little but how could you when you two were inseparable. it all started in kindergarten.

you were running around the classroom til your teacher yelled out “stop” and everyone looked at her. you saw a little boy. next to the teacher, waiting to be introduced. “hello kids, we have a new student! please introduce youself.” the teacher says.

“hi im sam hwang from korea. please take care of me” he says softly and hides. the teacher tells him theres nothing to be scared of and let him wonder around the classroom. you went up to him and introduced yourself. “hi sam! my name is y/n kwon. i’m also from korea!”. hyunjins head went up and eyes went big. “y-you’re from korea?!” he stuttered since he was lowkey excited that someone in his class was korean, just like him. you smiled and nodded your head. you grabbed his hand and dragged him to the playground to continue recess.

2 years later in summer, your best friend came over with his parents to tell these news. hyunjin came in your room with a sad smile as you were playing with your stuffed animals. you looked up and smiled at him, “hi hyunjin!” you said cheerfully, obviously in a better mood than him. “y/n, i need to tell you something” he said sadly. he went to go sit across of you and picked up some of the toys around your room.

“i’m moving back to korea.” you stopped your actions after hearing what he said. “moving? why?” you looked up at him. “m-my parents said it’s best for us to go back to korea because we only came here for my dad’s work, but he ended up leaving the job and now we’re going to go back” hyunjin looks up to see tears falling out of your eyes. he went to your side and hugged you, telling you that you’ll be spending quality time before he leaves.

-

after moving back to korea after years hyunjin left you, you opened your own cafe. as your shop was almost completed for the grand opening, hyunjin happened to pass by your shop. he looked through the window and saw a girl that looked so familiar to him.

knocking on the window to get your attention, you go the the door to unlock it and stick your head out of the window. “hyunjin?!” he looks at you with his eyes big. “y/n? what are you doing here?” hyunjin asks. “i recently moved here and now im starting a business” hyunjin nods his head.

“are you looking for any employees?” nodding your head. “yeah but i guess around this area, nobody wants to work at a cafe” you joked. “maybe i can help? i-i mean if you want to” hyunjin laughs. nodding your head, you lead him inside the cafe. hyunjin looks at your artwork and the nicely decorated shop, amazed.

handing a paper that has all the requirements and terms in order to start working here. after hyunjin was done signing it, you looked at the paper and gave him a thumbs up. “looks good! ill give you a call whenever we start” hyunjin nods his head and waves a goodbye to you.as hyunjin exits, he now knows where his target is.

2 hours earlier:

“hwang” chan calls out.

hyunjin looks up from his phone and sees chan carrying files. “remember that girl youd always talk about? kwon y/n? your childhood best friend back in america?” he nods. “apparently her dad is in a gang too and stole our money for whatever reason. so now your mission is to find her, bring her here, and kill her”

hyunjin gulps.‘why? did you do something wrong? what do you have to deal with this? does she know about this?’ all of hyunjins thoughts were about you. “ill do it”he knows he cant do it. but he has to or else he’ll be kicked out of stray kids. after moving back to korea and his parents suddenly passing, he was lonely. until stray kids saved him from being in the dark and invited him to their family. he gladly accepted.

hyunjin goes to his room and does research about you. he finds your instagram and sees that youre opening a cafe around the little area of downtown seoul which was a few hours away from his place. after enough of his little research, he grabs his jacket and heads out to find you.

present time:

the first week of the grand opening was a hassle. the cafe was always packed and made the employees feel stressed. as the cafe was almost settled, you told the workers to take a break as you and hyunjin will do everything else.

finishing an iced americano, you could see from the corner of your eyes and sees hyunjins strange actions. ignoring it, you gave the drink to the correct customer and continued making drinks.

-

closing time finally happened and everyone left out a huge sigh. having a group meeting, you gave everyone their weekly paycheck. “thank you everyone for working hard. i will see you tomorrow morning!” you waved goodbye and smiled. as soon as you saw almost everyone leave, you turned around and started cleaning.

hyunjin goes next to you and helps you clean the counters and machines. “jin, you know you can leave you know?” you told him as hyunjin lets out a chuckle. “nah its alright. plus as the second ceo, i shall help you” hyunjin winks. stopping your actions, you playfully smack hyunjin across his chest. “hey hey, im just joking. but still, after we finish cleaning, ill take you home” “but you said you have an exam tomorrow? shouldnt you be going home and start studying?” you asked. hyunjin nods his head, defeated. “alright you got me. i promise ill take you home another time” nodding your head, he goes and gets his belongings and leaves.

quickly cleaning the shop, you turn off all the lights and lock all of the doors. turning around to see the whole cafe in one point of view, a smile grew on your face. plugging your earphones in to walk home with your music blasting and texting your family group chat.

y/n: on my way home. the cafe was a success this week :)

mum <3: cheers to a successful opening

dad: come home safely, my son in law is waiting for you

smiling from the excitement, you started walking down the street to get to your house. as you entered this street, it was dark with the moonlight shining. feeling someone following you, you turned around and saw nobody. pulling up hyunjins contact on your phone just in case something happened, you continued walking in a fast pace, turning the volume down.

feeling the same aura from before, you quickly pressed the call button but you heard the familiar ringtone.

“sleep tight princess”

you wake up feeling sore and lost of warmth. opening your eyes, youre in a room thats filled with drywalls and a hwang hyunjin to your left, sitting on a chair. “h-hyunjin?” you called out his name. he looks up from your phone after reading every conversation you had that was about him. “the princess has finally awoken from her slumber” hyunjin smirks.

hyunjin gets off of the chair and goes by your side, lifting your chin up. trying to protest only to be stopped as you felt your limbs tied up. “now now princess, no need to get feisty” hyunjin laughs. “what the fuck do you want hyunjin” “hmm? you really dont know?” shaking your head, hyunjin gets up and walks around the room.

“so, youre saying you dont know what your dad has been doing? the fact that he stole money from me just to help you other with the small disgusting shop of yours?” it hurt. both you and hyunjin. hyunjin wanted to give his mission up and hug you, wipe your tears away and apologize. you were more than hurt. more like angry. hyunjin knew you wanted a cafe when you grew up and he supported you more than anything.

“the fuck are you talking about? youre assuming that my dad stole money from you? from what information is getting in that head of yours?” you shouted out. hyunjin grabs his gun and clicks it. you hear the click and your attention is immediately on hyunjin. “h-hyunjin whatever youre wanting to do, put the gun down first” hyunjin closes his eyes as he feels fresh tears escaping and shakes his head.

“hwang hyunjin! do you not know what youre about to do? tell me what you want from us. we’ll give you your money back- anything just dont pull it-” you stopped talking as soon as you see him point the gun at you. “please hyunjin dont. im pregnant-”

he pulled the trigger.

everyone in the house heard the gun go off and goes to the basement. stopping as they heard hyunjins sobs, they see him on his knees, holding your bloody body and cries into your hair.

chan goes to hyunjin and pats him on the back. “you finally did it hwang”

as hyunjin takes his seat during your funeral, he sees your family and y/f/n go up the stage. after each family member said what they had to say about you and your death, as well as your unborn baby, everybody was now crying their eyes out. “my sunshine. thank you for everyone you love feel happy and we are deeply happy that you were able to start your own business. with the past events, i shouldve came by and picked you up from work before i lost both you and our child. without your presence, nothing will bring a smile onto my face. i love you so much kwon y/n, and i hope you fly high with our baby girl”

-

lowering your casket down, everyone leaned on each other, crying after they realized the kwon y/n has suddenly passed for an unknown reason at a young age. hyunjin just leaned on a pole and cried. looking up in the sky, he see something that had a little smile form on his face.

‘you’ll be next, hwang’

hyunjin gets into reality and turns around to see who whispered to him. seeing nobody, hyunjins future is now crumbling.

END <3

tf is the end 🥴

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 38

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k - 4.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: nothing happened yet things happened? idk how i feel about this, i just hope you enjoy it, thank you guys for sticking up to this story ilysm!! oh and i chose this gif just because hes sweating lmao youre welcome! i hope this chapter gets more notes than the last haha

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i added as many as possible lol i even got one WHILE i was writing and added it lmao!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 38 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 17th, 2018

"You know what people say when they see a fat girl run." I just let out, raising my nose in a grimace as I tied up my shoes.

"I'm not really the type to listen to stupid people's opinion." Niall replied, making me roll my eyes and sigh before getting up. "And you shouldn't either."

He had convinced me to go run with him and I regretted my 'yes' half a second after agreeing but the way his face illuminated told me that it was too late to go back. I hated running and he knew it, and I was pretty sure he was aware of the sacrifice it was for me. I normally always quote the movie "The Faculty" when he mentions running, because i believe there's no truer words than Casey's line at the beginning of the movie when he says 'I don't think that a person should run unless he's being chased.", even if it's sort of ironic since the characters end up running away from an alien who wants to infect them the whole movie. Well, I would probably run if an alien was trying to infect me, too. And apparently, I would also run if it made Niall happy.

"It's easy for you. You've always been popular and cute and all the girls were in love with you."

"That is a big load of bullshit." he chuckled, shaking his head. "I've been told 'no' many, many times."

"I would like to see the statistics of the number of girls telling you 'no' versus the number of girls telling you 'yes."

This time, he's the one who rolled his eyes but he still had a cute smile gracing his lips and it made mine curl, too.

My parents were spending the whole day at friends' house. It was planned before I told them I'd come and visit them and even if they told me they'd cancel, I insisted that they'd just go. I didn't want to ruin their plans, I knew it was some anniversary or something similar and I could spend one day alone with Niall. Easily. Hell, I wanted to spend way more than one day with him.

"The only statistic I care about is this one." he started, clearing his throat. "How much do you love me, on a scale of 1-10."

I let out a genuine laughter and it made his lips curl. "That scale reaches the sky and it's too far away for me to see any number but there's like, 10 digits."

He took a step closer and I moved my chin up as he bent down to press his lips against mine. It felt so good to be back into this, to have a routine together, and to be happy without stress. I wouldn't go as far as saying it was exactly how it used to be but If I took the time to really think about it, it was even better. Back then, he was a bit immature and I was extremely insecure. Those two flaws sort of clashed together and made our relationship so much harder to handle. Now, I was not as insecure, and he didn't seem immature anymore, and I really felt like it could work between us.

We walked out but started running as soon as we were down the stairs. I let out a short groan of annoyance and it made him laugh. I knew he was going slowly just for me and it made me feel a bit guilty. At the same time, I was doing this for him and because he insisted, so the least he could do was wait for me, right? I don't know how long we ran but I hated it. I hated the burning sensation and the dry feeling in my throat, i hated the sweat on my back, and i hated the pain in my legs. God, I hate running. But then I turned to look at him and something twisted in my stomach and I bit my bottom lip. I loved watching him sweat. There was something sexy in watching him like that but it was not really the time and place to jump on him, unfortunately.

"How's your asthma?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Tolerable." I said, glancing at him again. "How's your grandpa knee?"

He chuckled and shook his head, making me smile more. "Could be worse."

After a while, I just stopped, feeling a cramp hurting like hell on my side, and held myself on my knees. He stopped next to me and bent down to look at me. He looked amazing, how did he fucking look so good all the damn time?

"You okay? Enough for today?"

I nodded and he smiled but I held my breath when I felt his hand on my back. I was in it so deep but I secretly hoped that I would never have to hurt again. I had new limits that I wanted to respect but I wouldn't ask him about every single girl gravitating around him, or cry myself to sleep because of a comment online. However, I would still get pissed if he let an other woman who clearly wants in his pants put her number in his phone, and I wouldn't accept him flirting with random girls at bars. The first time we dated, everything seemed to get to me but this time, It would be different. I would choose my battles and not get insecure about every little thing I see. I believed in myself more and I was convinced it helped me believe in him more, too.

We walked back home quickly and from time to time, I could feel his fingers brush against mine. It's in times like these that I really just wished we could be a normal couple. I knew he would be unhappy if he didn't do music for a living, and it would be a shame if his talent and songs weren't heard by millions of people, but selfishly, sometimes, I wished we could just walk around hand in hand without being scared of the comments, the articles and the hate.

I unlocked the door and when I took my shoes off, I grimaced and groaned low, moving my toes and quickly pulling on my socks., leaving them by the door.

"Petal, you reek." he let out before I turned around, raising my eyebrows. He chuckled and shrugged. "It's true, you smell so bad right now."

"I know!" I finally admitted in a laugh.

"But hey, you don't smell as bad as I do." he added, making me laugh more.

"That's practically impossible." I joked as he stuck his tongue out at me.

I watched him bend down and rub his knees and I bit my bottom lip as I felt a wave of intense love for him wash through me. I took a step closer and he moved his body up before looking in my eyes. I tilted my head, nibbling on my lip again and reached for the bottom of his shirt, finally pulling it up. He moved his arms up to help me as we kept staring at each other. A small smile draw itself on my lips and I just licked them, letting his shirt fall in the floor. Slowly, I let my hands run on his chest, my fingertips brushing against his nipples and moving down to his stomach. I felt my heart hit so hard against my rib cage that I thought it was going to escape. I could feel the sweat on my fingers and for some odd reason, it turned me on even more. My hands stopped at the top of his shorts and he raised his eyebrows.

"Are you gonna take them off, too?" he asked in a low tone.

"You know what I really want?" I asked in a low tone, ignoring his question as my forefingers hooked in the sides of his shorts, pulling them down slowly. He raised his eyebrows to incite me to talk and I smiled more. "Your dick in my mouth."

He didn't answer anything but his lips parted slightly and I slowly got down on my knees, bringing his shorts and boxers with me. I took his cock in my hand and when I got closer, he quickly stopped me.

"Wait!" he let out. I frowned and looked up but he just sighed. "We really need to get in the shower, first."

I stared at him for a few seconds and finally let out an amused chuckle before finally getting back up. He smirked and moved his upper body closer, his lips dangerously close to mine, before reaching for the bottom of my shirt.

"I honestly don't want you to be disgusted by my dick forever." he let out, making me chuckle again.

"Can't happen. But you're right, we should get clean first. Then fuck. And then get clean again." I proposed, making him raise his eyebrows up and down.

"And then maybe fuck again, yea?"

I smiled more at his words and nodded. "Yes."

He moved closer and kissed me, taking a few steps my way and forcing me to move back. He took my shirt off, throwing it on the floor, and I started laughing against his mouth when I accidentally stepped on something and ended hitting my back on the wall.

"Fuck, I love your clumsy ass." he whispered, slithering one of his arms around my waist as the other reached for my breasts. "And your tits, too." His hand moved down and slipped in my panties, making my eyes roll back as I leaned my head against the wall. "And your perfect little fanny, too."

He crashed his mouth against mine too as he flicked his fingertip on my clit a few times, making me whimper before he just took his hand away to pull on one side of my pants. I helped him with the other and stepped out of them. We were both just making out naked against the wall at my parents' house and I couldn't remember the last time I felt this horny. Was that adrenaline or something?

"Mm, your parents aren't coming back soon, right pet?" he asked in-between kisses as he pressed his body against mine. "Because they probably wouldn't enjoy the trail of our clothes on the floor that leads to the bathroom."

I laughed and shook my head as he pulled away. My eyes roamed on his face and It just hit me again how much I loved him.

"No, they'll be gone until very late tonight."

"Good."

He kissed me again and after a while, he pulled me to the bathroom and I tried to keep my mouth against his in a failed attempt as he bent down to start the shower. We laughed against each other's lips and ended up under the stream. I shivered as he grabbed the soap and poured some in my hands before doing the same in his. I washed myself quickly, staring at his hands moving on his body and when he reached his half-hard cock, I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"Sit on the side of the bath." he told me, making me obey immediately.

I was grateful that he didn't ask me to get on my knees because there's honestly nothing more uncomfortable for the knees than a bath. He moved closer and I smiled more when I realized his cock was at the perfect height. I felt like I hadn't had his cock in my mouth for so long and I took it as deeply as I could, making him groan low. I felt him swell on my tongue and spread my knees apart, bringing one of my hands between my legs.

"Mm, don't stop darling, do that thing you always do."

I chuckled low and pushed on the skin of his cock just to run the tip of my tongue between it and his tip, making one of his legs shake slightly. I used my fingers too, touching exactly the same spot and his head moved again to look down at me.

"That feels like I'm just cumming over and over again, fuck!"

I kept going for a while and finally ran my tongue on his length until his balls. He grabbed his cock in one of his hands and started stroking himself. I stuck my tongue out and felt his balls rub and bounce on my tongue with every jerk of his hand. I moved closer and sucked on one of until he grabbed my hair and pulled my head away gently.

"Open your mouth."

I did as asked and gently, he pushed his had cock in my mouth until I choked and pulled slightly away. I could feel him throb on my tongue and I let two of my fingers rub my clit gently as I sucking him harder.

"Stick your tongue out."

I looked up at him a bit innocently and opened my mouth, sticking my tongue out for him. He kept jerking himself hard, brushing his tip on my tongue as he did, and after about a minute, he let out a low groan.

"Fuck, I missed cumming on that tongue."

My eyes closed for a few seconds when his cum spurted on my cheeks, lips and tongue but I moved closer to suck on his tip again, my hands reaching for his balls as he kept stroking himself until he got down from his high. I never really enjoyed the taste but Niall’s orgasms were different, and I knew it probably only had to do with the love I felt for him, but it didn’t matter. He tasted good and I loved pleasing him. He panted for half a minute and finally grabbed my arms to pull me up gently.

"Even if you look really good like that..." he started, bringing me under the stream. "Let me help you."

Slowly, he ran his fingers on my cheeks before moving down to my lips, taking the vestige of his orgasm off. My heart jumped in my chest when he kissed me deeply and I moaned in his mouth as his hands ran on my breasts.

"You need an orgasm too." he pointed out as I nodded. "Sit back down."

I did what he told me to and frowned a bit when he got on one knee, knowing how much it hurts. We could both feel the water falling on us but when he moved his lips to my neck, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes. Two of his fingers slipped inside me as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and he started fucking me slowly. His mouth moved down to my breast and the way he sucked and licked my nipples made my fingers rub against the bath in a weird and annoying sound.

"You're gonna let me fuck you hard later today, won't you princess?"

I shivered, realizing I hadn't heard that nickname in a while, and finally nodded. "Mmhm, whenever you want, wherever you want, for as long as you want. You know I'm all yours."

"Fuck, say it again."

He started finger fucking me harder and I felt my breasts press against his chest as he bit my neck harder.

"I'm yours, Niall, I'm all yours." I let out in a mix of a whimper and a whisper.

"Get up."

I felt a bit too weak to do it but I still managed and when I felt his mouth crush on my pussy, I leaned my head against the cold and hard shower wall. I brought on of my legs up on the side of the bath and focused on the way his tongue skillfully sucked and licked my pussy until I felt an orgasm hit me without warning.

"Oh fuck! Niall!"

I reached for his hair and pulled on it hard, making sure his face stayed between my legs and It took me all my strength not to literally let myself fall at the bottom of the bath. When he got back up, he wrapped his arms around me and I allowed myself to get weak close to him, making him laugh.

"Good?" he asked. I nodded, brushing my nose against his wet neck and whimpered low. "Hungry?"

                                                   ----

The park was not too crowded and the sun was slowly setting. We started eating the lunch we had prepared together and I surprised myself wishing every day would be like that. It was ridiculous and impossible, but a girl could dream, right?

"What do you think would have happened if we never broke up?" I asked, staring at my water bottle before looking up in his eyes.

He was staring at me, his eyebrows raised and his lips curled into a pensive expression. He looked adorable and I smiled fondly at him. He shook his head slightly and grabbed his fork, playing with his food for a few more seconds.

"I don't know. I like to think I would have matured anyway and wouldn't be a prick but you never know." he explained with a shrug.

"You think you would have cheated on me?"

His head snapped up to look at me and he shook his head harder this time. "No. I was a flirt, but I was not a cheater, I promise."

Obviously, we would never know, and from what I had seen of Niall, he normally broke up with the girl before giving in to anyone else... well, except with me. It made me realize he had cheated on two girls with me and I tried to push away the guilt invading me. After all, I had cheated on Dylan too. The fact that he knew and had decided to ignore it didn't make my action less painful, or okay. We both had cheated and there was no excuse for it.

"You cheated with me. I did too. We both cheated. On Heidi and Dylan, and that was so wrong."

"I know." he sighed. "We can't go back. I mean I wish I could say I regret it, but I don't. It lead us here."

I sent him a sad smile and nodded. I wanted so much for us and even if I still had a few doubts, I wanted us to work. I wanted us to make efforts into this, but I couldn't make them for him. All I knew was that I was going to do everything I could to make this work, and from the way he had been acting with me lately, I was pretty sure he would do the same.

"So what's gonna happen to us now, Niall?" I asked softly. "What's our future together?"

He looked down immediately and it made me frown. Did he have something to hide? I couldn't start thinking like that again, I couldn't start analyzing his every move. I breathed it and let it go, simply tilting my head.

"We'll love each other, become official whenever you're ready, maybe even start attending galas and shit together, perhaps." he proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making me laugh.

"Yea, that's not really your type of things." I pointed out.

"Well it's different with you. Everything is different with you. In a good way. In the best way."

Without thinking, I held myself on the grass between us and leaned my upper body his way to reach his lips with mine. He kissed me back and after a while, he deepened the kiss. I didn't feel nervous, or stressed, and I didn't give a fuck about who could see us.

"I love you. I want to spend my life with you." I whispered. "I know these words used to scare you... how do they make you feel, now?"

I pulled away enough to be able to look in his eyes and his lips curl into a genuine smile.

"Like the happiest man in the world."

My lips curled into a happy smile as something stirred in my stomach. "You're so full of shit, Horan."

He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I leaned against it without thinking.

"I mean it Liv. Trust me." he murmured as I felt his breath hit my chin.

I breathed in deeply and pressed my lips together before whispering too. "I do. I trust you."

                                                        ---

We ended up watching tv together in the living room after the sun was set and I knew my parents could be back any minute, making me wonder if we had time to fuck or if we should just wait until they would be in bed.

"I wish you'd come with me in Germany." he let out randomly, taking me out of my thoughts.

"You... you know I have to go back in California soon." I explained, feeling my heart sink in my chest. "I mean, we can survive a few weeks away, yea?"

He turned his head my way and sighed. "Of course we can. But we shouldn't have to. And.. I don't really want to."

"I know." I said in a low tone, trying not to cry and looking down at my hands playing with the fabric of my shirt. "I mean, I don't know what else we can do. I'll try to get more weeks off but I don't know when that will be. When's your next week off?"

"Uhm, mid may, I think, but then I have to go back to the UK for that radio show thing."

"Oh." I brushed my palms on my face, suddenly tired and a bit scared, not knowing when I could be with him again. "Tell me the exact date and I'll try to fly there for a few days."

"That's in like... a month, Olivia." he let out a bit annoyed or disappointed... or both.

"I know." I whispered, swallowing hard, trying not to cry.

He sighed again and made a quick head movement. "Come here."

He didn't have to ask me twice : I threw myself against him as he wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his shirt, letting out a sob that I desperately tried to suppress without success.

"Hey, it'll be okay." he whispered, kissing the top of my head. "We can do this. We're stronger than ever together. Distance is alright. A month is nothing. Remember my trip to Asia?"

It's not that it was a bad example but it was a rough memory and I sniffed, shutting my eyes tighter as I tried to move closer to him. I didn't want to be a month away from him but I knew it was probably going to happen and I didn't know how to handle it. I was about to answer something when both our phones beeped and I groaned. It couldn't be a good thing and we both knew it.

"I don't want to look." I admitted low as he rubbed my back gently.

"We have to. Let's do it and then go to bed."

I sighed again and nodded as we both grabbed our phones. The problem was apparently Heidi, who had posted a bunch of song lyrics on her instagram stories, and people started speculating about who it was about. After checking, though, I knew it was about Niall. And about me a bit, too.

SHAKIRA - DONT BOTHER She's been to private school And she speaks perfect French She's got the perfect friends Oh isn't she cool? Hey, hey So don't bother I won't die of deception I promise you won't ever see me cry Don't feel sorry And don't bother I'll be fine But she's waiting The ring you gave to her will lose its shine So don't bother, be unkind

THE WEEKEND - CALL OUT MY NAME We found each other I helped you out of a broken place You gave me comfort But falling for you was my mistake I put you on top, I put you on top I claimed you so proud and openly And when times were rough, when times were rough I made sure I held you close to me

JUSTINE TIMBERLAKE - CRY ME A RIVER You don't have to say, what you did I already know, I found out from him Now there's just no chance With you and me There'll never be Don't it make you sad about it?

SAM SMITH - IM NOT THE ONLY ONE I have loved you for many years Maybe I am just not enough You've made me realize my deepest fear By lying and tearing us up You say I'm crazy 'Cause you don't think I know what you've done But when you call me baby I know I'm not the only one

DRAKE - MARVINS ROOM I'm just sayin' you could do better Tell me, have you heard that lately? I'm just sayin' you could do better And I'll start hatin' only if you make me

KATY PERRY - PART OF ME I just wanna throw my phone away Find out who is really there for me You ripped me off your love was cheap Was always tearing at the seams I fell deep, you let me down But that was then and this is now, now look at me

LITTLE MIX - SHOUT OUT TO MY EX This is a shout out to my ex Heard he in love with some other chick Yeah yeah, that hurt me, I'll admit Forget that boy, I'm over it I hope she gettin' better sex Hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe Took four long years to call it quits Forget that boy, I'm over it

TAYLOR SWIFT - SHOULVE SAID NO You should've said no, you should've gone home You should've thought twice before you let it all go You should've know that word, bout what you did with her Would get back to me And I should've been there, in the back of your mind I shouldn't be asking myself why You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet You should've said no, baby and you might still have me I can't resist, before you go, tell me this Was it worth it Was she worth this

SUGARLAND - BABE What a waste Taking down the pictures and the plans we made, yeah And it's strange how your face doesn't look so innocent Your secret has its consequence and that's on you, babe Since you admitted it, I keep picturing Her lips on your neck, I can't unsee it I hate that because of you, I can't love you Babe What a shame, didn't want to be the one that got away How could you do this, babe?

BRITNEY SPEARS - PERFUME Do I imagine it, or do I see your stare Is there still longing there? Oh I hate myself, and I feel crazy Such a classic tale Current girl friend, ex girlfriend, I'm trying to be cool Am I being paranoid, am I seeing things? Am I just insecure?

I read her stories twice, three times, and I swallowed hard until I heard Niall curse under his breath next to me. It caught my attention and I sighed, licking my lips.

"She's right, you know. I don't know how she found out but, we talked about it earlier. We did cheat on them, Niall."

"Alright, but did she need to expose that on instagram?" He closed his eyes and groaned, throwing his phone on the couch and rubbing his eyes roughly. "Are you ready for the storm? You know our social medias are gonna fucking explode."

"It doesn't matter. As usual, we're just gonna stay quiet." I replied, shrugging and sighing an other time. "You should have never dated that girl."

"I know. I didn't know back then but now, I know." he confessed, shaking his head. "I didn't think she was that kind of girl."

I started laughing next to him and his eyes met mine. He raised his eyebrows an I pressed my lips together because chuckling more.

"I mean, seriously, Niall? She was always like that."

He remained quiet and moved his arm on the back of the couch before I leaned my head against it.

"I should have dated you when I was 13 and I tried to match you with Rian for no reason. I should have dated you when I was 16 and horny. I should have dated you when I joined One Direction and you messaged me all the time. I should have dated you after the Take Me Home tour, when I came back home and noticed how much you had changed. I should have dated you during our last tour, before you got attached to Harry. I should have dated you last year, when we were both miserable. I realize it's you I should have dated all those times. Whenever I dated an other girl, it should have been you."

I teared up but tried to swallow the emotions inside me but they were drowning me instead, making me dizzy and happy at the same time.

"Yea, you should have." I whispered, scared that my voice would crack. "What about now, Niall?"

"Now?" he asked gently, raising his eyebrows but his gaze never leaving mine. I felt his fingertips play with a lock of my hair and it made my heart twist in my chest. "Well now I'm here. I'm with you. And I don't intend or want to be with anyone else. Ever again."