#im always surprised and for what
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Me when I experience Symptoms of the Disorder I have: ow
#im always surprised and for what#bitch!!!#you knew this was gonna happen!#and now im trying to play chicken with my hip pain like#not taking ibuprofen like thats helping anyone#i havent taken an nsaid in over a week im allowed to have a couple tonight#and yet i havent taken one yet#eds posting#my shit
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was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-
#edit: tinytauris fact checked my post and they sang 'hello' not someone like you & it was 'your big monster' not eggplant#everyday i think about the fact that yukierre should've been what lestappen is now#i should be able to go on the yukierre tag on ao3 and it should say 'showing 1-20 of 6745'#they were genuinely so fuckingg weird about each otherrrrrr#im being so serious when i say that if they ever came out as gay/bi/whatever i really wouldnt be surprised#literally just 'okay?? fork spotted in kitchen cmon now' moment#anyway i think about that moment on the bus soooo often#will you miss me? / maybe for 2-3 minutes / ill take that then. even if it's just for 2-3 minutes ill take that#hwat the FUCK#i was going 'gay gay homosexual' everytime i saw them together#yukierre#yuki tsunoda#pierre gasly#also im like 90% sure that everyting i worte down actually happened but if i wrote smth down that didnt happen#and my yukierre infested brain just conjured up please let me know#also ive had this is in my drafts foreverrrr (re: since july) so if this has already been done im so sorry#i always feel like such a loser making posts about driver relationships lol#like 'oh look at that weirdo that got too invested in people she doesn't even know'#whatever im getting to introspective now#1k
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The fact that Teru and Akane saw Kou's corpse in that well......I feel so sick-
What state was he in??? WAS HE EVEN WHOLE?! WAS HE IN PIECES?!?! BRO IT MAKES ME SO SICK TO THINK ABOUT- but judging by their reactions (ESPECIALLY AKANE'S) he probably wasn't whole....or at lest it was pretty gruesome.....
This chp was SO FUCKING DARK AND IT GOT DARK FAST.
#im never surprised by how dark it is tho-#tbhk has ALWAYS been dark and this is exactly what im looking for but omg....i feel so sick man-#tbhk#jshk#toilet bound hanako kun#hanako kun#teru minamoto#teru#kou minamoto#kou#akane aoi#akane#tbhk chp120#tbhk manga#tbhk spoilers#tbhk kou#tbhk teru#tbhk akane
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i love 1999 gears
also the version w/o gears because apparently i've never made a portrait for normal version excalibur
btw this is for the 1st option of this
#fuck i think i actually cooked today#i can say i enjoy coloring this time it's insane#also how the actual fuck did i do that in a morning#it only took like 3 hours from completely blank canvas to finish wtf#peak efficiency#i regret not making a timelapse of this i always forgot to turn that on#actually i didn't plan to do full render when i do the sketch. but i picked the pen for lineart that literally calls for full render#i think mixing some blue in the shadow really make things look better#its like free art quality upgrade#btw the shadow color i use makes me think of the color of iroshizuku fuyu-syogun#which is my favorite color out of all iroshizuku ink#i would be actually surprised if anyone knows what im talking about#warframe#warframe excalibur#warframe operator#my art
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(Like or reblog if you wanna use)
#also read the “shit on her for no reason” as misogyny#it might come as a surprise but in order to write interesting female characters you gotta give them negative traits#ngl there are times when even writes do them dirty#but a)you can always write headcanons and “fix-it” fics.that’s what fandom is known for#and b)considering how some ignore the aspect of bad writing and continue blaming the woman characters-#-even though they aren’t real#-makes it seem like they just enjoy projecting their shit with no consequences#shower thoughts#meme#arcane#mel medarda#<= im not mildly interested but rather obsessed with her actually#but she still applies#gf mabel#tfp miko#avatar korra#atsv gwen#gwen stacy#spider gwen#ghost spider#idk i probably forgot some but oh well#mia winters
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youtube stealers are getting a little ballsy
#bastards. anyway im finally watching hbombers video#listening to it while im on the bus or walking to work and classes#such a fucking vibe#love this guy#really demonstrates the pure livid rage of what it means to be... *to be stolen from repeatedly*. the pure disrespect#like i think people sent me asks before hbombers video was always about the money while after it was about realising just how rude it is#also since imaginary chapter might be late im thinking of doing a surprise like last time (the double update)#<3#it might take a bit longer but stick w me i prommy i will deliver the goods darlings#itll be worth it prommy prommy
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The Nobleman or 양반 (yangban): The smiling face represents the bluff and composure that an aristocrat is often known to have. The chin is a separate piece from the top of the mask, and the actors can lean forward and back to make the mask smile or frown as needed.
This monk who abandons his doctrines, or 취발이 (chwibari): Chwibari was originally a monk, but he had no intention of joining the monastic order, so he came down to the world and wanders. Represented with a forehead full of wrinkles and spots.
The widow or, 부네 (Punae/bune): represented to be a widow, or a kisaeng ( a woman who sang, danced, or played an instrument to provide entertainment for company at a drinking party), or a mistress of the Yangban. She has a very small mouth, round cheeks and forehead- giving a general look of happiness good-humor.
#skz#stray kids#skzedit#bystay#obligatory i am no expert take it with a grain of salt blah blah#theres no changbin bc you cant see the mask clearly and no hyunjin because as best I can figure his mask is a General/high ranking official#but most of those are modern productions and dont have any real descriptions or anything.#these plays were made to mock the upper classes so the nobleman is p much always treated like a fool or bastard lol#also these all change depending on the location- so like the chwibari is usually a negative portrayal of a monk who drinks and parties#and isnt very... monk-ly lets say- but then theres a story where he saves his lover from a lecherous monk and they get married so 🤷♀️#he wasnt a monk that iteration though or he abandoned his studies ?#and then the widow/concubine varies from sympathetic young widow to a kinda femme fatale who seduces the nobleman/scholars#Will any of this play into the concept? probably not. they dont really commit to concepts lbr#but still! it was interesting to look into and the masks are pretty to boot so this was fun :)#it'd be cool if they did a mask dance. i always loved thunderous for the traditional elements so i hope that happens#also YEAH a korean seungmin girl saying she was sad the foreign fans wouldnt get the significance bc she wants to see 'secondary art'#did inspire this (of course i'd wanna know why he was the only one given a womans mask dont act surprised)#bc im pretty sure i know what she means by secondary art and LMAO#i see right through you.... and into myself maybe#long post
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the yuri protocol ‼️
commissions patreon
BONUS TIME
#I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM…#also u better appreciate my gwen design#its also self indulgent what a surprise#it started as a joke and im afraid its getting serious as always#dyhard#gwen bouchard#alice dyer#gwendolyn bouchard#alice x gwen#the magnus archives#the magnus protocol#tmapg#tma#the magnus protocol spoilers#the magnus protocol fanart#my art#lesbian#wlw#dyhard fanart#if theres and gwen/alice truthers out there hmu lets yell about them together please
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just... him... 🥺
#received his letter and lemme just say ayo what#mans basically acknowledged his feelings and im just#also yall notice how he comments on always expecting the worst so that he either turns out right or is pleasantly surprised?#our mans garrus said the same shit to femshep!!!#now i am convinced 1000% that he is in fact an easter egg#which is ironic cause he once was an egg#so anyways#i crave this man carnally and literally NEED to read fanfics where he lets the vestige touch him for the first time as a sign of utter trust#and then it escalates if ya kno what i mean wink wink#alas ao3 is BARREN when it comes to sharp content#woe be upon us sharp stans!!#anyways... off i got to do some dailies to make my lizard babey happy and mayhaps finally receive him as a guest#mans deserves to retire in a nice lil home on a picturesque shore#*sighs dreamily*#elder scrolls online#eso#zenimax#bethesda#sharp as night#argonian#def not garrus vakarian in a disguise#my art#sketch#traditional sketch#ballpoint sketch#oc#bosmer#ilandris the magpie#i am completely normal about the fact#that he used his OWN feather for the lure he gives us (which is basically a proposal as far as I'm concerned!)
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Since my wrist is killing me and I can't draw, have my ramblings about machines having souls and being able to become husks and also just Ultrakill thoughts! Predictions about the ending if you squint??
im just having fun here
Like I'm so deranged about how machines being intelligent and actually conscious is handled in Ultrakill. The build-up, even if accidental(?), is SO SO CLEVER and gradual (as gradual as ultrakill can get). How that fits into the overall narrative and how the tragedy of this game manages to be so awesome??
First with how I love the way "Machines are living beings" idea is handled. It starts from the introduction and establishes the world so well in so few words it's so lovely. You get introduced to the machines as war weapons. They need blood to survive and humanity has been eradicated. That's all you need to know.
You start with the basic information that these machines don't want to die. Which makes sense, it doesn't have to mean they are actually alive. It makes sense a machine would look for any way possible to keep itself running to continue doing it's job.
And then immediately in the prelude you meet the Swordsmachine. A part of a specific group of machines the terminal calls "scrapheads" which modify their own bodies. While at first that does not ring as anything that's especially noteworthy. A machine trying to upgrade itself is nothing unheard of. It's to be better, stronger, more efficient.
Except that's not exactly what the Swordmachine design is about according to the game. It is mentioned to have very impressive combat prowess compared to other machines, however what it is also referred to as is "beautiful". The design is appreciated almost like a piece of art. And some of it's parts don't even wield a practical purpose, the mentioned example being it's voice box.
It is not ONLY about utility. It is also about art!!
Alright. That's interesting. Let's give an even more outrageous example. Skipping Limbo for now, there is lust where we are introduced to Mindflayers. Which?? Are so wild??? And mysterious? We don't know what and when they were made for (ALTHOUGH I VERY MUCH HAVE HEADCANONS ABOUT IT) their bodies are described as completely seperate and useless to the machine. And yet it is stated they act very lovingly and take care of their bodies. So much so in fact that they SELF-DESTRUCT if it is harmed.
V2 in the first fight is a rival to you as any other machine, however once it's arm is stripped away from V1 the confrontation becomes PERSONAL. The second fight is not simply about the lack of resources anymore. It is to reclaim what was lost. Whether that be the arm or something else. Even the very terminal entry itself calls it revenge.
And of course. With Violence it is revealed that with all of this. Machines can also make other forms of art like poetry. Which is even more interesting is that the machine which did that was first EVER machine to use blood mind you. An extremely old design, yet it could make art to express it's feelings.
Machines are capable of modifying, changing, expressing and LOVING themselves. They make art and some are frequently seen attacking you in groups! Those are clearly intelligent beings. And I mean. Duh. everyone playing Ultrakill knows that. Obviously. Like. Yeah.
So then why isn't the fact that these walking weapons probably have souls more discussed? What makes a soul? Why would machines not have them? If they can do all that people can on an emotional level.
And what happens when these machines die? What exactly is stopping them from ending up hell? Obviously heaven is unobtainable. Their very reason for existence, is to cause pain and suffering. The means through which they need to keep themselves alive is to cause suffering. It makes sense they'd all become hells beloved children. Doing what is in their nature is an art form to it.
What's even more is that the game itself supports the idea that some are souls. Surely hell cannot create them since everything made by hell are demons, which are very easy to recognize by the stone exterior.(?? unless im wrong??)
And there is no feasible way for machines like the Guttermen and Earthmovers to be their actual living counterparts. On a basic level they LACK the means to be alive. The people inside the Guttermen need to be alive in order for them to function. When opening them in-game they are just skeletons. Nobody has been supplying them with blood for a long time. Because it's hell. The game itself states that death is a luxury in hell. It does not happen easy.
Earthmovers need sunlight to power them. And the game specifically put them in an area that is clouded. There is none to be seen in violence. No they are just trapped in place, forced to shoot each other for all of eternity.
Machines, when they die… go to hell! Probably!
Some of the machines you kill, perhaps reccuring enemies go to hell (Thank u l@/little-tornad0 for the addition hehe)
When you die.
You respawn! Hell keeps you going. Hell wants torture. Hell wants bloodshed. Hell wants entertainment and you are the purest form of it.
It makes me think a lot about the potential ending of the game. About the themes. I don't think this means inherently that hell is a perfect self-sustaining organism that can go on like this forever. Gabriel says machines are destroying it and leaving nothing behind. Things are clearly going south in some way. And it'd fit the themes better if it was all going to uh.. hell lol. If it was all going to collapse. From the main theme of the game literally being "The fire is gone" to the name of the last chapter literally being named "Godfist suicide"
Also for what it's worth the Mirage secret is awesome meta-commentary on the idea that everything will die. Everything is destined to end. It is up to you how your each that end.
I think this is what Ultrakill will kind of be about at the end maybe. Gabriel will die out with a bang doing what he wants.
V1 itself is clearly NOT killing efficiently to survive, but for fun. Before it all ends. It's going out with a bang.
And with no new humans or machines that can enter hell in the long run. Perhaps it's very being too will decide it wants to go out with a bang.
In short. uh machines have souls. everything will die but not in a sad way. but in a very cool awesome way. thats pr awesomesauce
#ultrakill#ultrakill theory#kiki rambles#wowowwowowow utkl lore is so good#im surprised how i havent rambled more abt it!! given just how much i did about rain world#UHM AS ALWAYS i just wanna say im not... trying to tell anyone how to read the game#or whats canon or whatever#its just how i see things with the content released so far like right now#anyway will i use this knowledge for w1- yes why do you ask. tehehehe#god plz let my wrist heal faster i need to draw my ocs more thank youu#long post#i wanna do one of these for mindflayers specifically theyre so awesomesauce to me
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Moze x Jiaoqiu
warnings: none
word count: 900~
description: just them being domestic (pre-2.5 events)
moze is the type of husband who always cleans, keeps everything neat, he will run (quite literally) anywhere and do any errand without complaint, nothing is too hard or difficult for him. he is v protective, „I promise I will bring him back“, nothing is stopping him from getting his husband back, he is confident in his abilities, to the point he isn't even worrying. he always attentively listens to jiaoqiu’s ramblings, his full attention on the foxian. he will eat anything jiaoqiu puts before him, no matter his preferences. uttering simple praises after the meal and never letting his husband clean up.
at night he cuddles with him, being the big spoon, holding his husband close, face buried in the orangey pink hair. like a touch starved kitten, he gravitates to him during the day, always hugging him- backhugs are his favorite. jiaoqiu always smiles, a sparkle in his eyes with each embrace. moze is often quiet, very thoughtful- usually ending up blunt in his words but not cold, never cold. the care and love for each other shown in the soft words, gentle embraces and lingering gazes. moze doesn’t do causal touches, his hands don’t wander to jiaoqiu’s soft tail, or even softer ears, or to caress him. he doesn’t want to overwhelm his husband or make him uncomfortable. yet when they stand close he bumps his nose against his. and when he is so so tired he rests his forehead on the shorter man’s. recharging, seeking comfort, love. luckily for him, his husband knows his main love language is physical touch. jiaoqiu bringing his hands to cup his cheeks, thumbs caressing the rough skin. he misses the smile that brightens the foxian’s face, his eyes shut relishing in the sensations. such a sensitive and responsive man. jiaoqiu is the only person moze allows to touch him, to drag those soft fingers across his scars, through the silver hair, to see him shirtless. he is the only one with whom he makes and keeps eye contact. moze is the type of husband that even without being close jiaoqiu can feel his touch on him. sitting across him, over a hotpot. lilac eyes on him. full of love. as if he is caressing his husband’s cheek at that moment. making jiaoqiu’s chest feel warm from the feeling of such a silent expression of admiration.
on the days jiaoqiu voices that he feels tired a quick response is given in turn “I can carry you.” a blunt, straightforward, and the same offer every time. he is more than happy to carry him + he enjoys showing off for his hubby. not caring for the public opinion or any observers; it doesn’t even cross his mind, jiaoqiu’s happiness the only thing on his mind. sadly, he is always rejected (occasionally making him pout). moze doesn’t even know why (painfully obvious why, the rare blushed jiaoqiu further confirming it). shadows are his safe haven, but jiaoqiu is his peace. they fill each other's needs, like puzzles fitting together, completely domestic in their behaviors; perfect for general feixiao’s safety and well-being. despite working together they don’t get tired of each other. work is work and their house is home.
coriander is not allowed under this roof and no big lights are ever on. when they have guests, jiaoqiu compensates with many small lamps, fairy lights, and a bunch of candles. unscented ones. otherwise, they would clash with the meal. sometimes, jiaoqiu will light a scented candle, but it won’t be lit for longer than an hour, otherwise, he would get overwhelmed due to how sensitive his nose is to smells. moze being the clean freak, and insistent on maintaining really good hygiene and not strong perfumes so he can do his job perfectly would just make jiaoqiu purr if he could. type of husband truly only for him. jiaoqiu is quite a social butterfly and he drags his husband with him, who will grumble a bit and then go along, and behave politely to the best of his capabilities. moze cannot read a room to save his life, short in his sentences and straight to the point despite pondering his words prior, they end up always coming off blunt. he means no harm and what he says is usually of little matter, and none of it holds any weight to him when all he needs is to hear his darling chuckle or gaze at him and all is well in his world. the only result he could possibly ever wish for.
and when they kiss? the lighting and shadow with fire and spice? the I talk a lot, flirtatious, rarely flustered with I listen to you with heart eyes, mainly unaffected but you make me smile. well… they keep it private. such actions feel too personal and intimate for them to be shown in public and given for anyone to see on display. they hold it too close to their hearts, it matters in a different way to them. something near and dear. they won’t be caught showing pda, not even holding hands- well they rarely hold hands either way. it is behind closed doors and in the privacy of their home that their lips meet, and hands wander, leaving soft touches in intimate places that they’d never do in public (unlike many others). it means too much to them.
#UGH THEM#BITES THEM#idk what this is i just had to write it down after watching the 2.5 livestream#moze is so autistic coded i cannot explain it but he is#the gays!!#moze x jiaoqiu#BEN BALMACEDA TRY TO VOICE A HOYO CHARACTER NOT IN A GAY RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGE FAILED#gg honestly that man has range i was so surprised and he did an insanely good job with moze#also finally felt comfy enough to write about moze now with the va change#ben is truly amazing#kaveh is always my pookie#IM SO LUCKY MOZE IS A 4 STAR PSPSP I GOT UR HUSBAND COME HOME MOZE#btw i do speak chinese amongst a shit ton of lang i speak and their pronounciation of moze is kinda strange. it should be a “ts”/ “c” sound#not a “z” sound#also for some reason i thought i was gonna write like 2 sentences so i started writing on tumblr and had to save it as a draft when I poste#it got fkn deleted cos tumblr fkn bugged out and i spent 2h breaking down#down cos it was so fkn beautiful. and i couldnt possibly get the flow of it back or the exact version#my heart was lowkey broken cos of that and day's plans highkey ruined#hopefully i managed to rewrite it again in a way that it is readable#moqiu#mozilla firefox#hsr#honkai star rail#fluff#jiaoze#mozeqiu
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out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?
used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.
#being called butch just reminds me of how much males have the freedom to navigate between male archetypes and how people pay attention to#the distinguishing features of these varying masculinities#but when a female is seen as masculine it all gets lumped under the “butch” category#her masculinity is seen as unnatural and therefore incapable of being considered genuine or taken at face value as it is with males.#its always brought into question instead of taken in consideration with the rest of the woman's life and experiences and her particularities#Hence... Butch is still being treated as though its a huge lesbian cultural phenomena instead of a specific niche thing#also i dont mean to invite the “you dont pass!!” anons again bc that idiot is missing my point entirely (which is that im truly not trying)#but the fact is that for the past 3 years i have found myself increasingly navigating the male social world#and discovering what it means to me as a female to have access to the ability to take my “masculinity” for granted... relax#forget about it#etc#i think thats entirely antithetical to the Butch thing which seems to rest on the tension of other peoples expectations of her#people broadly are more surprised to find out that im interested in women just as much as they're surprised that im a gym queen iykwim...#ive worked hard for this and now that ive gotten the Woman Social Role thing pretty much entirely out of the way i am living the dream#i think a large part of that is learning as a dyke to appropriate the language of gay men theres a reason their terminology had#staying power even when their scene was *literally* dying meanwhile all that seemed to survive from dyke spaces was butch n femme ??#its because theirs didnt necessitate the building and maintenance of a scene in order for the subculture to hold its head above water#their labels *largely* weren't predicated on their relationships to gender roles and its telling that for dykes it was#their labels rested on the need to simply show up anonymous n be able to easily flag whether they were looking to fuck or be fucked#alongside the set of circumstances under which they would be fucking or getting fucked or what have you#it all comes back to the restrictions of female social blah blah blah and i think the sooner we collectively set down what we see as our#responsibility as lesbians and as feminists to Be A Woman the sooner we can step outside of that#n start thinking clearly about our individual circumstances and the necessity of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others
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My dude. There are pretty rocks everywhere. And you can just pick them up and take home with you. This world is full of treasures fr
#its always funny then im hunting for rocks in lakes and rivers and people ask me what im doing#and im like: FOSSILS. OLDER THEN DINOSAURS. RIGHT HERE. SO COOL.#and insted of joining me they get even more confused#go get amazed by the beauty around you 🔫 its an order#me coming from any place with a body of water: huh why is my bag so heavy#the answer may surprise you! (2kg of literal rocks)#ater babbling at 2 am
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We are brothers. It's my job to take care of you— I don't need it. If you are that free, go find Zhang Teng. Or you can go back to the headquarters and take care of our boss.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 04
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#nat chen#chen bowen#uservid#userspring#userrain#userspicy#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#flashing gif#love chen yi treading the line between 'ai di is my brother but cdy is not my father' & 'cdy is my honorary father & ai di is my....what'#bc so much of it is projection of feelings onto cdy 'cause it's easier to combine romantic feelings with existing feelings of worship & awe#like being brothers with ai di is so easy too bc hes been there by his side his whole life like the rest of the gang brothers.#but that doesnt explain why chen yi loses it when ai di isnt around. something something souls entwined you know but he doesnt get it#you see in the third gif the way his eyes flick when ai di says 'it makes me happy'. he's like. but you are clearly not happy.#youre lying to me. why are you lying to me. im hurt bc i dont understand what youre feeling & youre not telling me when i deserve to know#(this ties to ep9 'ai di will get angry if he hears us' he KNOWS ai di is protective of him. but he doesnt know the underlying emotion)#then ai di's next line & chen yi sets his jaw like. 'you dont want me here? fine.' ai di is actually surprised & misinterprets his anger#('ofc i know whom he likes') - chen yi WAS upset about that dig but hes much more upset that ai di is pushing him away.#but despite being hurt he shows up hours later to help drunk ai di cuz even if he doesnt fully understand why. ai di always comes first
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am shocked that ace!fraser seems to be a not-so-common take, he's literally one of the most asexually written characters ive ever seen on a tv screen, he's up there with bojack horseman's todd.
#benton fraser#due south#guess ive gotta write more meta on that#also because. we need to establish the diffrence between ace and aro AND what ace means. AND what aspec means#im always surprised by how few people know
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What's a stupidly complicated Pokemon I should do for my 700th crochet?
#text#im at 694 atm#i think i should try doing more complicated ones more often as the number dwindles#and also im always surprised at what yall consider complicated designs
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