#im always on the fence on whether or not these two are a couple | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dawniebb · 4 years

Text

Closure

So...back again with another marathon I’m hosting (?) with @healing-winston-pratt <3! about our canon divergence because canon is for the weak :) however, this time you’ll only see me so...yeah, guys, I’m sorry, bEAR WITH ME LMAO AFSGHJADFGSHJA :’)))

I thiiiiiink this is...the last marathon we’ll do about this I think, and it’s a series of four fics called “Closure” which is...basically, what the name says :’) it’s about people finding closure for the ones they lost throughout the books AND before the books this is about Georgia hello darling you’re wonderful im sorry mm killed you because we thought it was..necessary after that half-assed Supernova epilogue uwu. So yeah. The first one in this Closure series is Georgia :’)

You can use this post as a masterlist for backround bc we don’t have one yet

And the tag list (If you want to be addedOR removed just notifiy us pls): @novadreamer95438 @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff @novas-tunnel-of-anxiety @obsidianfr3sk

ALSO I NAMED THESE AFTER SONGS :) So the link will be in the lyrics I hope

Georgia

I Kill Giants

Heavier heels His mourning concealed On the saddest of days Why couldn’t we save you?

A couple days after the supernova, once all the funerals had passed and things were going back to normal, Adrian went to visit his mom.

Georgia Rawles was buried inside a very ostentatious mausoleum, located in Gatlon’s cemetery.

Nobody had ever confirmed that, but rumor had it, it resembled the structure of Pops’ old house, by the edges of the city, close to the abandoned train rails; it had similar dimensions and structure, but the décor was a hundred times better, with white pillars, stairs that led to the entrance and a wooden gate with a carved R; at some point in time, all members of the Council would be there.

Right now, it was only Mom and Evander.

The mausoleum was always surrounded by gifts that people left there. And right now, since Gatlon was grieving Blacklight, the fence was open to the public.

Though…

Well…

Whether the fence was locked or not wouldn’t have mattered under normal circumstances because, obviously, Adrian had his own copy of the key, though he rarely went to see her. Not because he didn’t love her (he did. A lot. And he missed her every day despite having been torn from him when he was just a kid), but because…

Because he liked to remember her as what she had been, not for the fact she wasn’t here anymore; he liked to see her in family albums and draw her, but the mausoleum was a very…sad place for him, almost depressing.

It was also a place where he liked to be alone with Mom. And sometimes talk to her. After all, they lived in a world where people had powers; everything was possible. Which meant that, deep down, Adrian still had faith she would answer someday.

But she never answered.

Not really.

But it wasn’t like that made Adrian mad, because maybe she was too busy doing something else; maybe she was very comfortable…wherever she was. And that made him feel rather happy.

To know she was at peace.

So, slowly, Adrian walked up the stairs, and then opened the gate.

The smell of candles and flowers greeted him, for the two headstones were being visited more often these days.

The Renegades’ slogan was written on top of the wall where the headstones rested.

Bold. Valiant. Just

Written in shining silver, so they didn’t take much attention from the spots where the two fallen Council members laid.

Right now, the bottom of the wall was upholstered with Blacklight and Lady Indomitable plushies, photographs, and tons of flowers.

So many flowers, that Adrian had to, manually, remove some of them to make his way to the wall; first, he left the bouquet he had brought for Evander; he had put some snacks in it, because it had seemed…funny in a bittersweet way at the moment, and also tons of polaroid photos Adrian had taken with him some years ago, when he was trying to entertain him during a Christmas dinner.

Evander had always been Adrian’s favorite Council member, because he…was young enough to treat him as brother; of course, Evander was an adult, but that didn’t change the fact he was younger than 14 when Adrian was born, and they had always shared a rather close relationship. He was annoying at times and, during the last months he was alive, he had fallen into a bottomless pit of madness, which deformed his personality until he almost acted like a dictator.

Of course, Adrian didn’t condone that, but he still had good memories regarding Evander and he doubted he would ever get rid of those memories. Mostly because…somehow, he didn’t want to.

“May the light guide your way.”

Evander Wade. Blacklight.

Brother, husband, father, friend and hero.

Adrian supposed the right thing to do would’ve been saying something, but he hadn’t come here today to talk to Evander, so he didn’t have anything to tell him. Not really.

So he just touched the headstone, but then he moved on to his mom’s, which was to the left of Evander’s.

And there she was.

There was Mom.

“When in doubt…fly.”

Georgia Rawles. Lady Indomitable.

Sister, mother, friend and hero.

And also gone too soon, like Evander, but nobody ever wanted to say that, because it was depressing.

Gulping, Adrian placed the bouquet of white and pink roses on the floor, and ran his fingers through his mother’s name.

“You can’t see it…but I have a lot of bandages beneath my clothes.” He told her, barely able to laugh. “…because I got a ton of tattoos. I don’t know if you would’ve approved that but…yeah. I already took them off, though…in the most violent way you can imagine. But I’m doing good.”

His sentences, like it always happened, were met with cold silence, as Adrian ceased caressing the name and hugged himself, feeling the bandages that were wrapped around his body; the wounds barely hurt anymore, though. After all, they had been treated by a prodigy healer; the process was supposed to be this fast.

“I hope you’re doing good too.” Adrian said, taking a deep breath, before staring at his feet.

If he had to find a word to describe what he had been feeling since the battle of the cathedral, that word would’ve been “shock”. Because, there in the cathedral, it had been the first time somebody had told him what he had done. And his heart had been feeling heavy ever since , and Adrian didn’t know how he was going to get up from this one.

Maybe he wouldn’t.

Maybe it was something that would torment him forever unless he got help, which didn’t seem so unlikely, given that he had his dads were supportive and also willing to help him go through the process and everything.

But everything was way too heavy, just…

Knowing what he had done, even if it hadn’t been directly his fault.

“Something that seems…extremely weird, in the good sense…. Is that…” Adrian coughed. “I crossed paths with the little girl you were trying to save, and you would be happy to know she’s an amazing person…and…well…she’s my girlfriend now so, you know…she…she’s just amazing, and I love her; I guess you would’ve loved her too...”

His voice was starting to break, but Adrian chose to continue, adjusting his glasses using his pinky and sniffing.

“She’s also very broken. But she’s trying to get better, and forgive…” He said. “….I like to believe you would forgive me too, you know? Because I…I don’t know. We both know what happened. And I…”

I’m sorry.

“I loved you so much. I still do. I’m sorry my fear of losing you was bigger, until it took you away. You didn’t deserve that.” Adrian had no longer control over his shaking hands. “You were supposed to be here; to meet Nova; to be with me and I’m…I’m sorry I…I’m so sorry, mom.”

He shook and shivered, but he didn’t cry.

Not yet.

Because when he touched his mother’s headstone again, he just remembered the texture of her skin; it was always soft and warm, although her hands were a little calloused, and she smelled like violets and sun (even if people tended to insist on the fact that the sun didn’t smell like anything); he remembered how he wrapped his legs around her waist as she held him into her arms and danced with him around the apartment to Have You Ever Seen the Rain, although Adrian didn’t understand the lyrics back then and he was yet to have the guts to listen to the song again; he remembered how Mom spun around, kissing his nose, and at some point she got so lost in the moment, that her feet lifted up from the ground.

That had been a good day. And those had been a good 6 years. And while Adrian rested his head against the headstone, he almost felt the fabric of her pants, as he saw her taking out her Lady Indomitable costume and begged her to stay at home, just for today.

Now that he was older, he had grown to accept that had been her job, and he was her legacy, although not everything that was left of her.

This world. The whole twisted yet powerful everything this world had, was what was left of Georgia Rawles. And Adrian would forever be proud she was his mom, just like he was proud Hugh and Simon were his dads. Because he had fallen in the safest place he could think of.

Adrian remained like that for a while, pressing his forehead against Mom’s headstone until, through the thick blank noise, he heard knocking; three gentle knocks on the gates by the entrance, which made him jump.

And, when he turned around, all he could see was Hugh.

Which…didn’t surprise him at all.

He was wearing a jacket and jeans, but Adrian could see that his blue shirt was the one he often wore to sleep; besides, he was fidgeting with the car keys between his fingers, which only confirmed what Adrian had been thinking before leaving the house.

He should’ve had notified his dads he was leaving early; he had risen with the sun, only to be here in the cemetery before everyone else could. But he hadn’t told Hugh or Simon.

And, lately, Simon had been having trouble to sleep, so by the time the sun was rising, he often went to Adrian’s room and slept on the couch; he supposed he had tried to do that, and then he hadn’t found him, which led to immediate chaos.

Yet, Hugh didn’t seem mad.

In fact, once he put the car keys inside his pockets, he smiled.

“Mind if I join you?”

Adrian didn’t answer, but Hugh understood it was a positive answer anyway, so he went ahead; the sound of his steps created a faint echo, and when he was next to him, Hugh wrapped an arm around Adrian’s shoulder, gently.

Then, they both stared at the headstone in silence, as if they both were having their own private conversation with Georgia, in a crowded, yet very intimate scenario; a phenomena that went on until Hugh scoffed, laughing at his own thoughts, and looked at Adrian, saying:

“When your mother was pregnant, her baby bump remained hidden for quite some months; she only had a small bulge in her lower stomach…and we would always tease her about it saying that was just her abs..” He laughed. “…which would make her mad, of course. Georgia was such a mom. I feel like she really wanted to have a child, despite having acted as mom towards all of us…and she wanted to have a pretty baby bump, because she wanted to remind herself you were there….that, and cute maternity clothes, I guess.”

In response to the sudden comedy break, Adrian snorted, adjusting his glasses again.

“We can’t judge her.” He told Hugh. “We’ll never be pregnant, but we gotta admit maternity clothes are cool.”

“Oh, they were cool. And pretty expensive also. Geez, Adrian, thanks for forcing us into involuntary fasting.”

“Dad!” Adrian chuckled, punching him in the ribs, despite knowing Hugh hadn’t felt anything.

Hugh laughed with him, but his laugh, suddenly, became inexistent, and Hugh scratched his own chin, staring at the headstone. Smiling at it, and probably waiting for something that would not happen.

So he decided to speak again, although his voice sounded more hesitant, and the most…insecure Adrian had ever perceived it.

“Your dad was going crazy.”

Adrian already knew that, even if nobody had told him.

“…but I told him to calm down, because I just…knew you were here. It’s where I always come when things are rough.”

To that sentence, Adrian stared at his feet, but not yet pulling away from his father’s touch. He knew Mom and Hugh had been pretty close but, if he wanted to be honest, he had no idea he liked to come here to visit her.

“Adrian, you see…” Hugh didn’t stare at him either.

“Your mom was amazing. She was…one of the most amazing people I’ve ever meet, and I don’t think anyone that I happen to meet in the future will top her…she was an outstanding mom and just…the coolest best friend I could ever ask for.”

As Hugh’s body seemed to grow weak, Adrian felt the burning need to hold his hand, but it was far.

“…and I miss her every day, just like you; and your dad, and Tamaya, and Kasumi, and…” For a whole second, Hugh’s lips quivered when he came to the realization he had been this close to list Evander, before noticing he was also gone, so Adrian remained staring at him.

And Hugh stared back, his blue eyes looking vulnerable and just…

Weak.

So, so weak and tiny.

“You were her son. And she loved you more than I’ve ever seen a mother love her child…and I know how much you’re hurting, because I know Simon and I will never be able to fill the space she left…believe me, we’re not trying to replace her…but we’re doing our best to be enough.” He said.

“….and I understand your pain…and your grief and all the awful things you might feel when you realize you’ll never see her again…because, Adrian, I…” His lips quivered again, but this time Hugh didn’t mind to stop him.

However, Adrian could see he was choking and stumbling on his pride, which stood stubbornly in the way, until Hugh decided he was stronger, let go of Adrian and held his hand instead, tightly.

“…I need her too.” He said, almost relieved, as if a secret of a lifetime had slipped from his mouth.

“I need her so much, and I miss her so much…because she was...like a sister. She was my best friend and she’s gone, and I have to live without her and…Sometimes I feel so lost…and I just know...” As tears streamed down his face, Hugh sniffed and looked away.

“…I just know she would’ve known what to do; she would’ve known how to stop this world from falling apart… and if she were here, Evander would’ve met his baby.” Hugh stared at him again, hiccupping.

“And you look so much like her, Adrian. And I miss her so much.”

Unable to see through the fog in his glasses, Adrian removed them, as his own chest went up and down, and he barely had time to process this was the second time he had seen Hugh cry.

“I miss her too.”

And as they wrapped their arms around the other, they mourned Adrian’s mother in the most peacefully painful way possible, just the two of them, in a mausoleum full of flowers, in front of her headstone, coming to the realization that they were damaged; far too damaged, but since they were still sane enough to admit it, it wasn’t too late for them to get help; maybe they would get help, and things would finally get better when they escaped the stunted grief and all the pain Mom had left behind.

He hugged Hugh tightly as he could, feeling as if this was the first time he had ever hugged him, or hold him close.

And he felt something.

Through the dread and the pain, Adrian felt as Mom let go of his hand, leaving a cold emptiness on his wrist, which later turned into warmth due to his own temperature, and Hugh’s hold.

“Simon and you are enough.” Adrian sobbed.

“You’ll forever be enough, and I’ll never be able to put into words how much I love you.”

He meant it. Because, again, Adrian felt safe right there where he was; he felt safe in Hugh’s arms, just like he felt in Simon’s… but there were some things that needed some talking.

Things that needed some type of resolution.

Things that were awful.

Things that were broken.

Things that were shattered.

But when the world crumbled down, as long as people had the willingness to do it, it wasn’t too late to build it again.

And, after all, the first step into fixing something, was accepting the fact it was broken.

27 notes · View notes

niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian · 5 years

Text

“I absolutely need to see / read something where Tom and Maddie try and teach Sonic to swim. If anyone does this I’ll love you forever.”

@sakuraconsoles ~Ask and you shall receive~

@rockmilkshake ~ I was halfway through writing this when you posted your artwork, so some of this will based off the art you just posted~

I was literally up until midnight writing this. I am very tired but it was worth it.

Sonic kicked his legs back and forth excitedly as he sat in the back seat of Tom’s new Tacoma, staring out the window watching the power lines rush by.

Tom was in the drivers seat, his elbow out the window as he kept his eyes on the road while Maddie was going through her phone, her hair in 2 long french braids, humming along to the song playing on the radio.

Since it was getting near the end of the spring season, Tom and Maddie have been booked with working more hours while he’s been plagued with to what he considers, an illegal amount of homework so close to spring break.

Maddie had told him the day before that they were all going to a new place for the day, a place he hasn’t been to yet.

Ever since then, he was just going to town with questioning the couple on their new destination.

‘This is the first time in awhile we’ve gone anywhere together on a Saturday, must be a real awesome place if i never seen it.’ He thought as he started thinking of where they were going.

"Are we going to the park?"

"No"

"Oh, hooow about the skating ring?"

"Nope”

“Umm...Oh! Are you taking us to the baseball field?” He sat up in his seat, trying to see Tom’s face as he drove.

Tom made a buzzing noise as he kept his eyes on the road.

Sonic huffed as he plopped back against the seat. He looked up and titled his head to the side.“.....are you taking us to Olive Garden again?” He said in a deadpan voice.

Maddie stifled a laugh while Tom gasps, adjusting his rear view mirror to look at the pouting hedgehog. “Hey what’s with that tone? I thought you liked Olive Garden?”

“I mean I do! But like you always get that never ending pasta bowl. They have other foods to eat you know.” He shrugged his shoulders as looked down at his sneakers.

“But that’s the thing about the never ending pasta bowl.” He glanced back at Sonic, taking his eyes off the road for a second.

“It never ends.” He turned back around, laughing to himself.

Sonic rolled his eyes at the poor joke. “Pfft well for you yeah, only because you can never finish the whole thing in one sitting.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault they made the food Im-pasta-ble to eat.”

Maddie tightened her mouth in a straight line, shaking her head and glancing out the window while Sonic gave a unintended snicker behind his glove.

Tom’s head snapped up. “Was that a laugh I just heard?”

“No, it wasn’t.” He replied, muffled due to his hand covering his mouth.

“Then why are you smiling behind your glove?”

Dropping his hand quickly, he crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders. “I wasn’t smiling, i was making sure you didn’t hear that pity laugh.”

Tom held up a finger up. “Ah! so you admit it was a laugh then?”

“I....uggh ok fine it was.” He groaned, hitting his head against the seat.

Tom gave a small “yes” as he winked at Maddie.

Maddie smiled back at him and gave a small laugh. “You guys are so adorable.”

=======

Getting antsy, Sonic’s leg began bouncing out of impatience as they were getting near their destination.

“We’ve been in this car for so long! Are we there yet?”

Tom let out a chuckle. “It’s only been 15 minutes bud.”

“It feels like it’s been 15 hours! We’ve been driving for so loooonnng.” He laid down dramatically on his side, closing his eyes.

Maddie turned around, clutching his hand and shaking it to get his attention. “Well have you guessed where we’re going yet?”

He sat back up. “No, i absolutely have no idea where we’re going.”

“Well, you can stop guessing now cause we are now here.” Tom pulled into a parking space.

Due to his small stature, Sonic unbuckled and stood up on the seat to look outside.

What he saw was people, mostly kids walking towards a small brown building.

Only they were carrying fairly large bags, some were carrying long, colorful tubes, beach towels and chairs.

‘Wait, are we at the-?’

“Welcome to the Green Hills community pool!” Tom addressed with flair as he got out of the car, earning odd looks from some passing teens.

Sonic jumped down from his seat to the ground, shutting the door behind him. Tom went to the trunk to get their things while Maddie answered a call on her cellphone, walking away so he couldn’t overhear her conversation.

He glanced around at the groups heading inside, most were paying him no mind while only a few, mostly toddlers, would stare at him in fascination while they walked with their parents.

‘Quite a lot of people are here today, it’s not even that hot out today.’

Zipping over to the wire fence, he’s eyes widened at the sight before him.

“Oh sweet chimichanga.”

The area of place was a pretty big, whether that was due to his size or not was up to him,

The pool had about 2 slides around the length of the pool, a short, open blue slide and a tall, teal slide that formed a spiral to the water and a long diving board, which he saw a few people jumping and doing flips off it.

He looked over to where the lawn chairs were set up, there were more people sitting in the grass on towels rather than the chairs leaving a lot of open spaces, either reading, sunbathing, a few couples even making out underneath the trees.

“Ew, how do they even breath when they do that?”

He zipped back to truck where Tom was shutting the trunk, unloading the last of the bags.

“Ok that’s everything, here you can carry this one, it’s light enough for you.” He passes Sonic a small bag, which was filled with mostly towels and bagged lunches.

Maddie walked back over to them, face beaming as she put her phone in her purse.

“We all set?”

Tom nodded as he passed a bag to Maddie. “Yep, all ready to swim in cold, dirty water with random strangers.”

“Tom...”

“What? We basically are.”

“I know but I don’t want to think about that while I’m swimming in said water.”

“Just think of it like your taking a cold bath.....but using chlorine and with random people who are almost naked.”

“Oh my god Tom, please just stop.”

The hedgehog stifled his laughs as he walked behind them, before pausing with a look of confusion and slight disgust morphed on his face.

‘Wait, is it really like that?’

=======

“Ok close your eyes.”

Sonic obeyed as Maddie smeared some sunscreen on his face and muzzle, scrunching his face at the cold feeling and odd smell.

Sitting cross legged on the lawn chair, he started to rub at his face. “Ick, why do I have to wear sunscreen? I have fur all over my body.”

Maddie grabbed his hand. “Yeah but parts of your face doesn’t, so it could be more eligible to be sunburnt than the rest of your body.” She helped him spread the lotion around his eyes and face.

“Ugh does it have to smell so bad?”

“Better safe than sorry sweetie.” She shrugged as she got up, rubbing his head as she sat behind him.

He sighed as he laid back against her shoulder, watching his head quills from poking her.

“Who are you texting on your phone?”

“My boyfriend, Arnold.”

He shot up, shocked. “Your what?!?”

Laughing, she shook her head and put her hand on his shoulder. “No I was just joking, I’m just texting a friend.”

He grabbed his chest, sighing in relief. “Oh man, at first I thought you were actually taking Rachel’s advice on leaving Tom.”

“Hmmm I wouldn’t call it advice, it’s more like a order.”

“Heh pretty much yeah.”

The two sat in silence for a moment before the sound of Tom grunting and the scraping of a chair caught their attention.

He continued to pull the heavy lawn chair over, before simply picking it up and setting it down next to them.

He sat down, wiping his “Whew! It’s starting to get more busy in here, I had to almost fight someone to get this chair.”

Maddie made a face as she put her arm around Sonic, who was still leaning against her. “Who was fighting you for the chair?”

“Mrs. Tailor.”

Sonic let out a gasp. “You tried to fight Flower Power lady?”

“Yeah and she did not take well.” He sheepishly said as he motioned his eyes over to where she was.

She was glaring straight at him at the pool entrance, scowling and making a very rude hand gesture at him.

“I have a feeling we’re not going to get those petunias half priced anymore Maddie.”

She sighed. “Oh great.”

Sonic squinted at Mrs. Tailor. “What’s that thing she’s doing with her hand mean?”

“It’s a bad thing and don’t let me ever catch and hear you doing that.” Tom replied sternly, pointing a finger at him.

Sonic held up his hands. “Ok, ok I won’t.”

“Good.”

Maddie’s phone chimed, she got up as she checked it.

“I got to take this, don’t upset anyone else’s while I’m gone!” She jogged towards the entrance, speaking to whoever was on the other line.

Tom leaned over towards Sonic, who was looking through the lunch bag. “You noticed that she’s been in the phone a lot today?”

“Yeah, I think she’s talking to Rachel or something.” He said nonchalantly as he put the bag down and stretched his arms.

“Yeah?”

“Either that or it’s her boyfriend Arnold.”

“Uh hu- wait Arnold?”

“Yeah Arnold Schwarzenegger, she really has her eyes on him.”

“.....Sonic that’s not funny.”

“I know, I thought she would be into to Tom Cruise.”

“Why on earth would she be into Tom Cruise?”

“Have you SEEN the way that guy runs? Now that’s a man.”

Tom scoffed, getting annoyed. “Wha- compared to who?”

Sonic looked Tom up and down. “Compared to you I guess.”

“You little-.”

“I thought I told you guys not to upset anyone?” Maddie came over to them, hands on her hips.

Sonic pointed a finger at Tom. “He thinks that you don’t love him anymore.”

Tom swatted Sonic's finger away. “No, no that’s not what I meant.”

Maddie raised her eyebrow, amused.

“Maddie, who would you prefer, me or Tom Cruise?.”

“Tom Cruise.” She replied with no hesitation.

Sonic brust into laughter, nearly falling off the chair. Tom’s mouth gaped open, putting his hand on his chest dramatically. “Maddie...why?”

“That chizzled look he has on his face everytime he smiles at people, it’s amazing.”

“What about when I would smile?”

“That’s your saving grace, it’s actually better than his.”

“Oh what a relief.”

“Ew, if you two are down flirting, can we please go in th-.”

“Hey Sonic!”

Sonic stopped as he heard his name being called, the voice sounding very familiar.

He looked up at Maddie, who was glancing at him smiling. “Maddie am I losing it or did that sound like-.”

“Sonic! Over here!”

He turned to where the voice came from and saw someone waving to them, a young girl who has wearing her hair in small, beaded braids running towards them through the grass.

“Jojo!?”

He got off the chair and zoomed over to her, stopping right in front of her and sliding right into a hug.

Jojo giggles as she put down her bag and hugs him back tightly, lifting him slightly off the ground.

She released him as she grabbed her bag off the ground and walked next to him.

“Oh man I didn’t know you were coming to visit!”

“Yeah, mom and aunt Maddie made sure I couldn’t tell you anything.”

“What? Geez everyone’s just keeping stuff from me, so your mom is here too?”

“Yeah, she’s in the car making sure that her makeup looks good.”

“....Why is she wearing makeup when she’s going swimming?”

“She tells me that the ‘most worthy’ guys always come to the pool to check out the women.”

He stopped and looked up at her with disgust. “What?”

“I don’t know either.” She glanced back, shrugging her shoulders. Sonic looked back and saw her through the car window, applying said lipstick.

“I don’t understand our family.”

“Neither do I, but I’m glad that you’re here though, it’s nice to have a kid around my age in this family, who’s also not a crazy adult.” She smiled as she grabbed his hand.

He grinned, giving her hand a squeeze. “Heh Yeah, me too Jo.”

=======

“Ok I’m pretty sure this jacket is trying to suffocate me.” Sonic tried to adjust his mini life jacket, only to end up nearly choking himself.

“Ok, here let me help.” Tom adjusts his jacket, putting pressure off his back quills. “And here are your floaties.”

“Is this really necessary?” He winced as Tom shoves the floaties on his arms. “They’re really tight.”

“Well yeah dude, since you never swam before you need to train yourself to swim with it so you can eventually swim without them.”

“Why can’t I just that donut tube thingy like Jojo's?” He motions over to her, who was using said tube spin fast and around in a circle.

“Because of your extravagant spikey hairstyle, it would poke holes all over it beyond return.”

“Right I see your point there."

Maddie was over near the chairs, putting away her clothes while talking to Rachel, who once in a while would shoot a nasty look at Tom.

Clapping his hands together, Tom took a running stance. "Alright people stand back, I'm about to make a major tidal wave!"

Tom jumped and made a cannonball into the water, Jojo letting out a scream as she covered her head from the incoming splash. Tom broke the surface, wiping his hair and water from his face.

"Whoo! Yeah! How about that Maddie? Can Tom Cruise do that?"

Maddie looked over at Tom as she led Sonic towards the edge of the pool. "Yes Tom, he can do a cannonball just like that."

"Dang it, can you believe this Jojo?"

"Uncle Tommy, even I can do a cannonball like that."

"Jojo! You're supposed to be on my side!" He responded with splashing water at her, who retaliated by grabbing a nearby pool noodle and started whacking him in the head with it.

"Get him Jojo! Let him have it! Show him no mercy!" Rachel applauded her daughter from her seat, pulling out her phone to record it.

"Oh come Rach, I know we have a rivalry but using your own daughter to- Ow! Wha- where'd you get two of them!?"

Meanwhile, Maddie was into the water until it went up to her waist, turning around she held out her hand to Sonic, who was now barefoot and placed his shoes near the lawn chair. "Ok it's going to be pretty cold at first so it's best if you just come in quickly."

"Maddie, You know that's my specialty." He said smugly as he got into a running stance.

Maddie's face drops. "Wait Sonic that's not what i-." Her voice fell to deaf ears as he jumped over her and dove into the cold water.

He burst through the water, coughing and screaming from the shock of the cold. "OH MY GOD! IT'S FREEZING! MAD- MADDIE HELP!"

Quickly rushing over to him, she lifts him up and smacks her hand against his back, helping him get rid of the water he inhaled.

Panting and coughing, he wipes the water from his stinging eyes. "Oh man."

"I tried to warn you but.."

"Yeah...that wa-, that was my bad."

Hearing Sonic's screams, Tom and Jojo swam over towards them.

Tom looks at Sonic, still rubbing his eyes. "What happened?"

"He dove in too soon and got the penalty for it." She rubbed his back as he shook his head to get the water out of his ears.

Jojo swims closer to him. "I did the same thing too when I was learning how to swim."

"Really?" His voice shaking slightly due to his shivering.

"Yeah, but the one thing I always do when I swim is try to keep my shoulders under the water."

Maddie lowered him back into the water, still having a hold on him. "I don't think I can keep them under the water due to this jacket."

"Oh you just splash some water on it if you can't." She demonstrates by pouring water on her shoulders.

Sonic copies her, shivering slightly.

Tom takes Sonic's hand and brings him further out, he feels the hedgehog grip his hand tighter.

"You're good buddy, I've got you."

"Hmm-mmm."

Getting to a empty space, Tom picked him up in his arms bridal style, earning a surprised yelp from him.

"Ok, so we're just gonna try floating first so we don't have to keep carrying you the whole time."

"Ok..."

"Ok here we go." He slowly lowered him into the water, his hands underneath his back and legs.

"Oooh god it's still freezing." He shivered with a face of discomfort.

"Yeah I know, this is why we're practicing this first."

He let him float for a few seconds before removing his hands entirely, the teen didn't notice as he kept looking up at the sky.

"How you feeling?"

"Um good, I can barely hear your voice due to the water in my ears." He says a little louder than he realizes.

"Good, that's good." He helped Sonic float upright, motioning Jojo over to them.

"So for this next part, I'm gonna use Jojo as an example. Jojo, could you show Sonic how you swim without the tube?"

"Sure!" She placed the tube on the cement and started to swim around the two.

"Now see how she's using her arms with her legs to make her move while also staying afloat?"

"Yeah."

"You have to find a balance with that flow so you can swim better, you might swim like Jo or completely different, it takes practice."

"Whatever you say donut lord." He faked saluted him.

Tom placed him forward in the water, both hands underneath his stomach as he practiced moving his arms and legs slowly.

"You don't have to move them that slowly, you can move them faster."

"Ok then." He replies with a sly grin. He then moves his limbs like a motorboat, splashing Tom's face in the process.

"Sonic! I didn't mean that fast!"

He slowed them down, looking back at him. "Oh you weren't being specific."

"I'm pretty sure that was very specific." He shook the water from his face.

Tom saw Maddie get back in the pool, giving him an idea.

"Let's try something with motivation, see if you can get to Maddie over by the steps."

Sonic looks to where Maddie was standing, who was letting her shoulders soak in the water.

"She's pretty far from us, I can barely move from this spot as it is."

"You gotta remember to cup your hands when you wade through the water and keep kicking your legs so you can keep up the momentum."

The teen looked up at him, uncertainty coming onto his face.

"Hey compared to what you've fought through before you came to us, this is going to be a synch for you."

"I know but..." His voice gets quiet as he avoids Tom's glance.

"Sonic?" He looks at Jojo.

She grabs his shoulder firmly. "I believe in you."

"Really?"

"Definitely." She grinned holding her fist out.

Smiling, Sonic bumped her fist with his and took a deep breath, looking ahead towards Maddie. "Alright, let's do this."

Cupping his hands, he paddled and kicked his legs towards Maddie.

Maddie, noticing him swimming at her went to move closer to him.

"No! Don't move! I want to see if I can swim to you!" He panted as he kept up his pace.

Nodding, she waded in place as Sonic paddled.

'Geez this would be easier if i paddled even faster.'

Giving the idea a try he moved his arms and legs faster, gaining some momentum but not for long.

" *pant* Why *pant* isn't this *pant* working?"

Maddie yelled from across the pool. "You gotta move slowly since you weigh less in the water, the slower you go, the farther you get!"

"What? That makes no sense!"

"That's how science is sometimes."

"Well science needs to chill out." He murmured to himself.

He was more than halfway there when he was starting to feel his arms tire out. Tom and Jojo cheered him on from other end.

"Come on Sonic! you're almost there!" "Go Sonic go!"

Now being a foot away from him, Maddie held out her arms towards him. "C'mon sweetie you're almost there!"

With determination, he kicked his legs and moved his arms with one final push right into her arms.

Maddie snatched him up and spun him around in a hug. "Alright! Look at you! You swam so far!"

Still panting, he glanced back to where Tom and Jojo were, currently cheering at his successful attempt.

"Oh...yeah.....that's....great." he panted as his head unconsciously fell on Maddie's shoulder.

Tom made his way over to them. "Oh man, that took alot out of him huh?"

"Hmm yeah, but he made it though didn't you?" She praised him, bouncing him in her arms.

"Yeah...but that was alot....even for me." He weakly raised his arm, only let it fall to his side. "It feels like I ran for a year straight."

"Yeah swimming will do that to you, especially if you're not used to it." He ruffled Sonic's head before calling to Jojo.

"Time for a break Jo! It's lunchtime!"

"Ok!" Jojo got out and went over to get her towel, which was right near her mother who was trying to flirt with an uninterested lifeguard.

"I better save that guy from Rachel." Tom grunted as he got out and walked over towards the girls.

Maddie made her way towards the steps leading out the pool, still carrying Sonic in her arms.

She shook him slightly. "Hey try to stay awake for a little longer, I packed your favorite for lunch." She spoke softly.

Sonic lifted his head slowly. "Hot dogs?"

"With some homemade jalapeno sauce, probably can't get that from Mrs. Tailor anymore either."

"Maddie...you are an angel sent from above." He stretched his arms.

"Aw thank you, make sure you tell Tom that you think that, I could get so much compliments from him for at least a month."

"Haha, alright you got a deal."

#sonic fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #prompts #sonic prompts #Niyana writes #sonic movie #maddie wachowski #tom wachowski #sonic wachowski #jojo wachowski #jojo (sonic 2020)#wachowski family week 2020 #wachowski family #wachowski family week #drabbles #long post

142 notes · View notes

fiction-fun · 3 years

Text

So cause Im in a Rangers mood, take this:

Fandom: Power Rangers in Space

Pairings: Andros/OC

Words: 3083

Warnings: N/A

Kaley sighed as she walked onto the bridge of the Astro Megaship. She looked around seeing that no one else was there.

“Deca, where are the others?” she asked voice soft and a bit distant

The computer took a few seconds to respond.

“Andros, Carlos and T.J. are in the gym. While Cassie and Ashley are in the holodeck. Would you like for me to get one of them for you?” the helpful A.I. asked.

Kaley settled into what normally was Andros’s chair and sighed gently.

“No, it’s alright. Thank you though.” She said her tone still distant.

Deca went silent at that and she didn’t know whether or not to be grateful for that. She sighed again and gently tapped her bracelet, causing it to pop open, where she removed a small silver disk from within. She gave it a sad look, before pressing it gently into the player and turning to the large screen. She watched silently as a few of the images passed over the screen. At one picture which looked like a party of some sort, she reached over and paused the slideshow, just staring at the picture that was still on the screen. It showed two small children, one a young girl with reddish brown hair, lightly tanned skin, two small cat like ears perched on top of her head, and a large grin on her face as she looked towards the other child. This one was a young boy, with dark brown almost black hair, the same ears as the little girl and a bit darker of a tan, he was turned smiling up at the girl. Kaley sighed sadly and reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks as she looked at the photo. She was so focused on it, she didn’t hear the automatic doors slide open with a gentle hiss.

“Oh, sorry, I’ll just…” Came the voice of her team leader and she stood and shook her head.

“No, it’s ok. I shouldn’t have taken over the main viewing screen, I’ll just…. grab my disk and go.” She said quickly as she moved to do that.

Before she could hit the eject button, Andros had reached her and gently grabbed her hand stopping her movements.

“It’s ok, you have full right to use the screen as much as I or any of the others do.” Andros said in an uncharacteristically soft tone of voice.

Kaley slowly blinked at that before nodding.

“Alright, thank you.” She said softly, not sure how else to respond.

Andros nodded and turned slightly to see the screen, still holding her hand gently. Kaley saw the movement and looked as well, reaching up again with her free hand to rub her eyes.

“Who are they?” Andros asked curiosity in his tone.

Kaley let a small smile slide across her lips.

“That’s Cara and Sam my little sister and brother.” Kaley said tone soft as she spoke.

Andros looked at her and saw the sadness in her eyes and the pain in her face.

“What happened to them?” He asked dreading the answer.

Kaley bit her lip gently, pinching it between her fangs.

“When I was on KO-35, Anamaria was attacked by the United Alliance of Evil, as far as I know, there were no survivors.” She said her voice soft and hitching a bit as she spoke.

Andros pulled her close by the hand he still held, knowing she needed the comfort, he wrapped his arms around her and let her rest against him for a few minutes.

“I’m so sorry.” He said voice barely above a whisper.

Kaley shook her head.

“It’s not your fault, you have no reason to apologies.” She said gently, her arms coming to wrap around him as well.

They stood like that for a while, before she slowly pulled back, looking at the screen.

“They were, 8 and 6 in that picture. Well in human years they were. In our ages they were 56 and 42. They where just babies.” She said softly.

Andros took time to look at the children on the screen, noticing the many similarities between both of them and Kaley. He turned when she tugged her hand from his gently and went to sit back down, looking at him, and pointing to his chair. He nodded and sat down. He reached over and pressed play. The pictures started rolling slowly across the screen, she’d occasionally stop the photo slide and tell him a bit about what or who was in the photo.

“I didn’t realize Anamaria had such a deep history.” Andros said softly after a few slides where she told him about the ruins and legends of her world.

Kaley smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, not a lot of people do, but Anamaria history is something we start learning at a young age. I remember I asked my parents why once, they looked at each other before looking at me, and then they just smiled a bit sadly and said, ‘you’ll understand when you get older.’ I think they knew if the Alliance got strong enough Anamaria would be one of the first attacked, since we didn’t have a true military, and no rangers. I think they taught all the children the history so young in case they were the only ones to survive an attack.” Kaley explained softly as she reached over and hit the play button.

They sat quietly through a few more pictures before Kaley burst out laughing and paused the slide again. Andros looked and saw a pair of kids smiling widely at the camera a little girl who was clearly Kaley, and a small boy with…something…on his head.

“Who’s that? And what is on his head?” Andros asked quirking an eyebrow.

Kaley smiled softly and shook her head.

“That was Joel, he was such a weird kid, but he was my best friend. And your guess is as good as mine as to what’s on his head. Although we had a serious case of red eye in this picture.” She said laughing a bit more.

Andros smiled softly at that and gave a small laugh as well. Kaley reached over and grabbed the little remote.

“The next few might drag, sorry.” She said with a small smile at him.

Andros shook his head.

“No, this is interesting, I’m learning a lot about you.” He said offering her a smile.

She nodded and leaned back a bit in her seat hitting play and letting a few more pictures of her and Joel slide through before she paused at a picture of another girl with brown hair.

“That’s my sister Kat. She was about….7 in that? Her biggest dream was to become a technical developer, and she could have done it. She was brilliant, they all were.” She said quietly.

Andros looked at the picture closer and saw a small robotic creature next to Kat in the photo.

“What’s the robot?” he asked.

Kaley looked up and her eyes seemed to brighten briefly.

“That’s Octo, Kats best friend, no one else really hung out with her. So, she made a friend, and he could do anything.” She said softly.

Andros nodded and Kaley let a few more photos slip over the screen. Some holding one or two of her siblings some holding all four of them. She paused on one picture that was just a little slanted in front of a small pale blue house, all four of them stood there with who Andros thought had to be their parents.

“That’s the house where I grew up, I heard mom and dad sold it a bit after I left, but I never knew for sure. But according to the last message from Kat, whoever owned it really made improvements. Fixed a lot of the broken roof and the fence too. We didn’t have a lot as kids, mom and dad both worked as hard as they could to support us, that’s part of the reason I went to KO-35, so one day I could repay them and help them. Even though we didn’t have a lot we never went without, always had meals and clothes, we were encouraged to follow our dreams, nothing could stand in our way and it took a bit for me to realize. We, the kids, didn’t go without, but mom and dad did.” Kaley said softly voice choked up a bit as she spoke.

Andros stayed silent but reached over and gave her hand a small squeeze. She offered him a small sad smile before she turned back to the screen and hit play, more pictures from the house popped in, some inside some outside, but Andros saw the state of disrepair the house was really in. When one picture popped onto the screen Kaley paused the slideshow again.

“The second floor had this, balcony thing. You would think that would make it easier for sneaking out right?” she asked him.

Andros nodded.

“It seems like it would.” He said in agreement.

She laughed a bit and shook her head.

“It probably would but the darn thing squeaked if you hit the wrong spot and you heard that squeak through the whole house, and if you were lucky you had about 10 seconds to either dive over the edge and into the bushes to hide or try your luck at getting back to your room without getting caught.” Kaley said softly looking at the shot of the balcony from the outside.

She shook her head as Andros looked at her with wide eyes.

“Did you get caught?” He asked curiosity evident.

Kaley smiled and nodded.

“Oh yeah, a couple different times, but when I explained why I was sneaking out mom and dad understood and just kind of let me go. See I had a friend who was in a bad situation and when it got really bad, I’d go and find her and help her out. Food, clothes bandages etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. So, I never got in trouble.” Kaley explained.

Andros nodded and she hit play once more. Stopping at one picture showed four now grown teenagers standing in front of a brick building all four smiling brightly. Andros could pick Kaley out easily but the others he wasn’t sure on.

“On the end is Kat then Cara, me and then Sam. Kat and I had just graduated, maybe two weeks before but this was the day of the ceremony. Kat had been accepted to study at the leading lab on Anamaria and I was accepted into the Academy, as you know. It’s funny, we almost didn’t graduate.” Kaley said smiling gently at the picture.

Andros turned sharply at that to look at her.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

Kaley shrugged lightly and smiled as a small tear trailed down her cheek.

“Kat, Joel and I broke into the school a few times, our sealed records say twice, but it must have been…half a dozen or more times.” She said softly.

Andros was watching her, letting her collect herself. She took a deep breath.

“I got into a pretty bad spot for a while after…. after my dad’s accident, I just didn’t care about anything anymore. But I eventually got my head on straight.” Kaley continued before giving a sigh and looking at him.

“If I didn’t graduate, I never would have been able to go to KO-35, we never would have met, I wouldn’t be a ranger, hell I probably wouldn’t even be here. But at the time, I figured if It came to it, when life got better, I could just go back. They probably wouldn’t let me in but who knows. But my mom sat me down and had a talk with me, which helped me knock my head back into place and I stepped back into the right area, graduated and now here we are.” She said quietly.

Andros recognized that long lost look on her face, and reached over to pull her into another hug, she wrapped her arms around him and tucked her face into his neck, sitting there for a few minutes before sitting up and offering him a small smile, she pressed play and showed him a few places around town. An arcade, a store, a small field. Then a picture of her and a guy popped up.

“That’s Tyzon. He was my first boyfriend, not much to say on him, he just kind of existed in my life for a while, then as quickly as he blew in, he blew out, with a girl about 3 years younger than me.” Kaley said blandly.

Andros shot the photo a look, which Kaley noticed and smiled softly at reaching over she grabbed his hand softly.

“He was an idiot.” She said softly.

He nodded and flipped his hand, to hold hers and give it a squeeze. Kaley smiled softly and hit play letting the rest of the photos play out. She sighed as she stood and took the photo disk from the player, slipping it away into the bracelet she wore. Andros pulled her back and she stumbled and landed on his lap, and he just wrapped his arms around her. She smiled and curled into him a bit.

“I might miss the town and the people, but I love what I have now.” She said softly.

Andros offered her a small smile and nodded.

“Although I’m sure you’d rather have your family here.” Andros said softly.

Kaley nodded before looking him in the eyes.

“And I know you’d rather the same, but life doesn’t always give up wants, sometimes it gives us needs.” She said softly.

He smiled gently and leaned forward, her meeting him halfway as they shared a small kiss.

*Almost a decade later*

Andros held the door to S.P.D open as Kaley walked through, she turned and shot him a smile.

“Thanks, I just wish Keevon wasn’t so vague when he said we had to come here.” Kaley said with a sigh.

Andros laughed and shook his head.

“You know how Keevon is. Besides, he did at least tell us it was with their tech developer.” Andros said as the two stopped in front of the security desk.

Kaley sighed and rolled her eyes but smiled none the less. The two of them showed their badges and returned the salutes before turning on their boot heels and heading towards the elevators. Once inside Kaley turned to Andros again.

“I still don’t get it, their prison cell is in perfect orbit the suits work, why do they need us?” Kaley asked.

Andros shrugged and reached up to run a hand through his hair, the dim light of the elevator glinting on the silver band sitting on his ring finger.

“Who knows, maybe they need us to upgrade B-teams’ suits.” Andros suggested.

Kaley groaned and leaned back against the wall of the elevator.

“And that’s another thing! We made do just fine with one team, why do they have two?” she asked a bit of jealous frustration sliding into her tone.

Andros smiled at her and stepped over to her.

“Because their enemies are stronger.” He said quietly.

That seemed to appease Kaley and the two stood to attention as the elevator slowly stopped and the doors began to open. They nodded when one of the cadets stepped forward to lead them to the tech lab even though they knew where it was, since they helped build it. They reached the lab and the cadet entered first.

“Dr. Manx! Two Karoven officers are here to speak with you, Ma’am.” The cadet said saluting,

A brown-haired woman with a welding mask on lifted it and turned to the cadet.

“I may be 147 but there’s no need to call me ma’am, especially since that makes me barely 21. Hello, I’m Dr. Kat Manx and you are?” she asked walking over to them.

“I’m Andros and this is my wife and work partner Kaley.” Andros said stepping forward to shake her hand.

Kat nodded and the three began to speak for a few minutes.

“The place looks well kept.” Kaley mused softly.

Kat turned and nodded.

“I do my best to maintain it.” She said as she reached up and finally noticed the welding mask still on her head.

With a sigh she pulled the thing off her head, letting her own cat ears twitch free, Andros’s eyes went wide when he finally placed why she looked familiar.

“Kaley.” He called over to where she had her back to them.

“Yeah?” she asked not looking up.

Andros sighed.

“Look over here a second.” He said.

Kaley sighed and stood up straight reaching up to fluff out her hair as it was falling into her face, she turned to look at Andros and had to suppress a small gasp. Seeing a similar reaction in Dr. Manx. Andros sighed and smiled softly as he leaned back waiting for them to react. It was almost instantaneous the two dropped what they where holding and walked towards each other, before breaking into a run and before Andros could blink, they had each other wrapped in hugs, with heads buried in each other’s shoulders. After that the two spent time catching up. After a few hours they went to dinner and spent a few days relaxing with the three getting to know each other. As Andros and Kaley where boarding their ship, Kat stood at the end and smiled waving.

“Don’t be a stranger.” Kat called.

Kaley looked at Andros and nodded.

“Don’t worry! We won’t be! You make sure to visit as well!” Kaley called back.

With that they closed the ramp door and walked into the bridge, settling into their seats. Kaley turned and smiled at Andros.

“I may have to both, hit and hug Keevon for this.” She said with a small smile.

Andros laughed at that and nodded.

“If you hit him, I’m recording it so we can laugh at the memory.” He said.

Kaley smiled and leaned over kissing him.

“Thank you, for being amazing.” She said softly.

He smiled and kissed her back.

“You’re the amazing one. Now let’s go home.” He said smiling and laying in the course.

Kaley nodded and sat back.

“Yeah, we have to tell the rest of the family that it just got a little bigger.” Kaley said smiling softly.

Andros nodded, happy that she had found at least one of her siblings alive and well.

#fanfiction #oc #Power Rangers #power rangers in space #Andros

5 notes · View notes

latetaektalk · 3 years

Note

hiiiiiii 🥰

ahh well, I’ll definitely let you know once I get around to reading it!! omg, never let me go is so bleak, so yah, you’ll love it if you love a good cry, like me hehe!

spirited away is literally like no other movie I’ve ever seen, and I was on the fence on whether to give it 4 or 5 stars, I think really it’s a 4.5 but there’s no half a star emoji haha. I’ve had family over so only half way through howl’s moving castle but I love it so far, so think it’ll be highly rated!

eeeek a fellow marvel fan!!!! I frickin love anything fantasy, LOTR, HP ⚡️ so, I don’t have favourites of anything, I’m so so indecisive, but a few of my favourites are cappie winter soldier, (probably the first marvel movie I really loved), thor ragnarok, GOTG, infinity war, civil war, black panther, spiderman. also the disney+ show wandavision is so good! I love scarlet witch 🧙‍♀️ also, I know it’s not marvel, but frickin love into the spider-verse!!! what’s your favourite marvel movie?? and what are your favourite movies in general?

hmm, good question… my favourite lego set is probably my new york set, it’s the first one I made during lockdown and it brought me joy during a bad time!

ah I was so waiting for a good time when I heard the title for the song, and when I listened to it, I was like, I should have known it was gonna be a sad girl summer. I haven’t, I’ll definitely check it out. I love hot ones interviews, did you see olivia rodrigo’s one, it was so funny! I love billie eilish’s new song, happier than ever, but I still need to listen to her new album!

I’ve always wanted to play piano, do you still play? yeah, I really hope she does!! but even if she doesn’t, fans always come through and do amazing versions themselves on youtube, but it would be awesome if she did official versions !!

speak soon, 🦋.

hello love !!

i definitely love a good cry, so im looking forward to getting it !! be ready for me to rant a bunch to you when i finish it!! and yes oh my god spirited away has a special place in my heart 💕 i watched that film during different stages of my life, and ive just grown such an appreciation for it! and im glad youre enjoying howl's moving castle! i really love that film too,,, in general im just in love with every ghibli film asdfsa also! i hope you had a great time with your family !!

ahhhh i see your a fantasy lover!! im not gonna lie, im not much of a fantasy fan and also havent actually finished the harry potter books/films but im always amazed by the people that are! i just know i wont be able to remember all of the lore 🤧 marvel lore is already enough for me sadfas and ahhh your taste is just ✨✨ im happy to hear that youre enjoying wandervision !! i dont have disney+ so i havent actually watched it yet,,, but im glad you like it! and oh my god i still gotta watch the spider-verse too asdf ive been so lazy with watching things these days lmao and even tho i agree with you that its impossible to choose any favourites, i do think that the first GOTG film is my favourite! its pretty much the first marvel film i ever saw and i just fell in love 💘💘 and aside from the marvel films, i really love romcoms !! my favourites are probably 500 days of summer and about time! both have a very special place in my heart because theyre just so goddamn great 💓 i also absolutely love the ocean's films !!! i think ive rewatched these films about a dozen of times now,, like whenever i dont know what to watch ill put it on! and obviously also spirited away ✨

ohh i see !! i just googled it and the set is so pretty! im glad to hear that it brought you joy during a bad time!!

and yeah stoned at the nail salon could have either been a really happy or sad song,,, and honestly with lorde i was expecting the latter LMAO and yes please do check it out!! it was a lot of fun!! and yeah ive seen olivia's hot ones interview !! now that lorde and olivia have done it im just waiting for a certain miss taylor swift to do it too to finish off the trio 👀 and right! i gotta listen to billie's new album too!! i really enjoyed her first album, so hopefully ill get around to listening to it soon! have you listened to it now? if so, what are your thoughts?

no, i quit around two years ago,, to be honest, i never wanted to learn in the first place asfds i was kinda forced into it by my parents rip and never really developed much of a passion for it 🤧 but if you wanna play piano, im sure you can teach yourself !! i feel like piano is a rather easy to learn, at least compared to other instruments! have you looked into that maybe? and if you dont wanna teach yourself, taking a couple lessons and learning the basics should be enough for most people !! i hope you get to around learning the piano one day !! im sure youll enjoy it because it really is a beautiful instrument 💘

anyway, please have a nice day love!! love you lots 💓

#🦋 anon #linh.anon #linh.ask

1 note · View note

crimeronan · 4 years

Note

ik youre not a therapist and i dont want like therapy or anything but im 17 and ive known i was bipolar for 3 years now and i dont know how im supposed to live the rest of my life like this. im so fucking tired. how do you stay alive

you sent this a couple days ago & i’m posting at a weird time so i’m not sure if you’ll see it but.

i’ve been looking at this message trying to decide how to respond

because i don’t know your situation, your symptoms, how you’re feeling, whether you’ve had positive or negative experiences with medication, psychiatrists, therapists, hospitals, all that related shit

the bipolar life advice i give to people is vastly different depending on the individual. it’s not a one size fits all thing. and there’s never even a guarantee that my advice will be the right choice

so since i don’t know about your situation or experiences or what you want, i’m not gonna tell you what to do. i’m gonna focus on the “how do you stay alive” question and try to pen down some personal feelings. and if they help then great, and if they don’t then... this is the most honest i can be

(you can always ask another question to get a better answer. my inbox is a coin slot and i am a vending machine of varied-degrees-of-helpfulness replies offered at varied-inconvenient-too-long-intervals)

how do i stay alive

it’s a 2-parter, actually. i pondered how to condense my thoughts/feelings, and it came down to these two things

1. love 2. spite

1. love

the spite is easier to write about than the love. love is hard to reach when i feel like shit.

spite is where i go when i want to die. love is where i go when i want to want to live.

maybe i don’t want to be alive. but maybe i wish i did. spite doesn’t help me much there. spite keeps me afloat, but it doesn’t make the floating pleasurable. there’s more to life than outlasting everything that ever hurt me. i need a reason to continue when there’s no enemy to fight

so. love

i almost wrote about the spite alone because that’s rawer, realer, more visceral. that’s the shit that CONNECTS when everything feels hopeless. but it would be a lie of omission. spite is only one of the major food groups, you’ll waste away from malnutrition if you eat it for every meal. or at least, i will.

“so you’ve got a bunch of people you love,” you say, “and you stick around for them. cry on them. support each other. like each other. fine.” you’ve heard this story before

nah.

i mean - yes. i have people i love. i live with two partners, i’ve got a third girlfriend, i’ve got a long-distance platonic life partner. i have a support net, i have a family i’ve forged, i have confidence that i’m not alone. i have, in a bare-bones checklist sort of way, fulfilled my physiological human need for connection

but i could live without every single one of them. i’m not dependent upon any of them for my survival. i’m not dependent upon them for love, given or received. (this isn’t a callous cruelty, it won’t hurt them if/when they read this. i’ve told them all this, they know. they’re glad of it.)

so. what the fuck does “love” mean, then?

the short explanation is that it’s my love of life, of things in the world. it’s all the little connections i’ve made. every time i love something, a hook tethers to the universe. hook enough tethers, and i no longer feel the need to float away. no dissolution of self today, sir

the rest of this section is some of the things i love. partially it’s to show how i connect to little things and ascribe magic to the mundane. partially it’s because i like thinking about things i love, i like typing them out, and i like that i could keep going for thousands and thousands of words.

i am laying in bed at 7:30 AM with the lights off and the shades drawn. blue light comes through the slats because it’s the better time of year, the one where i finally get vitamin D, the one where the birds chirp at 4AM, the one where the sky isn’t impenetrably black til 10PM.

there’s a weighted blanket tucked around my legs. my partner rafi bought it for us to share because it’s soothing and heavy and comforting and helps with my physical pain. right now it’s soft on my skin and if i get too emotional as i write, i can pull it over me like a cloak until i’m settled.

the apartment’s walls are blank because we’ve spent eight months intending to put art up and keep forgetting. but there’s a newly-unearthed dining area in the kitchen because i finally shifted around the unpacked boxes that were dominating the space. it’s new and it surprises me every time i walk out there. it’s open and inviting and bright and it’s a sign that we’re making this place home.

we’ll put a cheap IKEA table by the window and we’ll probably never eat family dinners there - why would we sit in hard chairs and make stiff conversation when we could all cuddle on the couch - but my partner dev will create a place to do their art and the surface will be constantly littered with drying watercolor experiments.

we’ll hang our art one of these days, too, when our collective adhd offers a miraculous combo of remembering + having time + having motivation + having inspiration. rafi has the most art because they’ve been collecting it for years. i have to start smaller. i’m not used to keeping physical objects. dev has a few pieces thrifted or bought at local artist events or painted themselves

so we’ll put art up in the living room, my single “you are magic” flower print alongside a naked monster lady that dev fell in love with when we browsed art at a yuletide event months ago, alongside rafi’s monster girls and comic characters and book characters and literature art and quotes and abstract pieces and whatever else they have hiding in boxes.

my head protests that naked monster ladies do not belong in the living room, although the picture isn’t overtly sexual. but then i remember that they do, actually, because it’s our space and we can do whatever we want with it as long as the lease isn’t broken. there isn’t anyone in the local social circles who’d be perturbed by the decor, as far as i know. i don’t have to hide anything from my parents because i live 3600 miles from them, and even though i miss my mom, the distance is good for me

there are two exquisite chairs on the porch. they fold and recline from thrones to nearly-horizontal beds. there are pillows and cupholders and trays and specific spaces for both a book and a phone. i can sit there while the morning sun rises and read or play word games or browse tumblr, cup of coffee beside me, trees shielding my eyes from stabby sunbeams

there are remnants of the last tenant’s garden in one corner of the yard. we’ve done fuckall for yardwork but plants struggle through anyway. some seem to have sprouted by accident. mushroom clusters populate the edges of the fence. the apartment squirrel (there are probably several, but i like to think it’s a single energetic creature) runs back and forth along the fence & i always lose my train of thought & then laugh my ASS off at the “SQUIRREL! XD” adhd moment. birds kick up leaf litter and play on the ground looking for insects to eat, they wiggle their tail feathers and flap their wings and sometimes they disappear and then return with friends

a little more than eleven months ago, i packed all of dev’s and my shit into a uhaul and drove and drove and drove to get to this city i’d never been in before to live with a partner i’d never cohabitated with. we were homeless for more than a month, we weathered some financial disasters, we met some great people and some shitty ones

on the drive i fell in love with the sky. i didn’t know how big it can get - actually, that’s a lie. i’d FORGOTTEN how big it can get. i’ve loved the sky thirty miles out to sea, no land in sight in any direction, just blue water and blue space above. i’ve loved the vastness and the yawning beneath me and the knowledge that everything is BIGGER than i can fathom. the depth of the sea doesn’t frighten me, it’s home. i don’t want to die, but if i had to, the ocean makes a soothing grave

in north dakota i discovered that i’ve been partially blind my whole life, which is a different tale that showed me i’ll never stop learning myself. in montana we struggled up thousands of feet of mountains with the car huffing and puffing at the trailer’s weight, and when we finally coasted downward, it felt like sudden freefall. we ended up in the pitch darkness of night on sheer winding interstates with midnight construction projects forcing detours. the mountains felt hungry, they had teeth. mountain cliffs are much scarier to me than the ocean depths

i bought a red bull and poured a little out the driver’s side door as an offering to hermes, because i’m not particularly religious but i’ll take help where i can get it. slammed that back in a few gulps and shook to bright-eyed alertness and ended up behind a slow-driving red pickup truck that guided us over about a hundred miles of mountain terrain

i thought, that’s just some construction worker driving between sites. the roads are empty at this time of night, but it’s an interstate. of course we’d end up behind someone. this isn’t divine intervention. this isn’t the benevolence of a god

i thought, but it can be a little magic. if i want it to be.

and it was. it stays with me.

god help me but i’ve been writing this stream of consciousness for more than 30 minutes and i’ve said nothing. i haven’t talked about the city, the parks, the people, the conversations, the books, the tv shows, the movies, the communities, the library, the animals, writing, reading, singing, acting, swimming, analyzing, creating, supporting, building. and i can keep going. i can come up with hundreds and hundreds of things i love and i can write paragraphs about all of them

so i’ll stop here. you get the picture. love is the life i’ve made for myself, the surroundings i’ve built, the quiet moments i can capture, the inspiration i pin, the magic i commit to memory.

i had to work so damn hard for every single bit of this.

i’ll be fucking damned if i let it go because my brain tried to trick me into thinking death is better.

2. spite

there are people who want me to die.

i don’t mean that i have a giant entourage of personalized enemies who curse my name and plan my individual demise. although there have been plenty of people who have not liked me much. probably some of them would enjoy my death. i don’t give a shit about that

there are people who want me dead because i am a dot on a grid they dislike. a faceless anonymous enemy who meets too many bad criteria with numbers and percentages and shrinking majorities and shifting public opinion

because i’m gay. because i’m bipolar. because i’m autistic. because i’m a dropout. because i grew up poor. because my spine curves and my shoulders ache. because i squandered my potential, because i didn’t have enough potential, because i didn’t love god enough, because i love the wrong gods, because i don’t worship, because i worship wrong, because i didn’t seek a husband, because i never wanted one, because i talk too much, because i can’t be controlled, because i chose to leave the fold when i realized it was suffocating me, because i’m ugly, because i’m gorgeous, because my body belongs to me

pick your poison.

this bothered me growing up, a lot. i knew i did not deserve to die. but if enough people tell you that you should, a little part of you will wonder if they’re right. that little part might become bigger the closer they get and the louder they shout and the longer they wear you down

we know the rough shape of this story, i don’t need to tell it. mine was messy and not triumphant and i survived more by chance than premeditation.

i’m older now. by and large i’m still young as shit - i’m 24 - but GOD i am LEAGUES away from 15, 16, 17. i know who i am. i know what i want. i know how to get it. and when i don’t know that, i find out. i tell the truth. i ask for what i want. i use my time how i want. i do what i want.

there are days that i can’t access the “love” side of the equation. no finding poetry in birdsong or sugared coffee for me, thank you, i feel like shit and the world is awful and everything is too big and fast and cruel and everything wants me to die and it wants everything i love to die, too. everyone i love. it’s all garbage. the good doesn’t touch me

trauma is difficult to describe. the difficulty is compounded by the fact that my trauma is influenced by my various neurodivergences, bipolar included. i never know if i’m feeling what other people do. i don’t know if i’m voicing unpalatable feelings others are afraid to express - or if i’m just othering myself, admitting i’m not as human as everyone else.

there is something malevolent and monstrous inside me. i don’t touch it all the time. but i don’t pretend it isn’t there. it sits in my chest and molders or radiates or oozes. it presses at my throat. it curdles in my stomach. it hurts what it touches, whether that’s me or someone i love or someone i hate. it sets things aflame with no regard for the precious or the fragile. it tears down walls and razes shelters and begs for apocalyptic rain.

i can give this thing names, clinical descriptors. i know what it is on a diagnostic chart, in a ponderous article, in an academic debate, in a fiction novel, in a war movie, in a memoir. there are a thousand ways to describe this thing. the descriptors aren’t important. what is important is this - i have learned that most people do not walk side-by-side with a tornado-hurricane-hellfire-weaponized-open-nuclear-reactor. this is not a “normal” expression of human emotion, this is not me trying to ascribe power to “bad bipolar feelings.” this thing lives in me and i know why it’s there and it is not designed to be held/silenced/muzzled/controlled by my body.

it does not help to pretend this thing does not exist. it does not help to try to reason it away or ignore it or tell it to stop. it wants what it wants, it does what it does. possibly if i was better at therapy or stubbornness then i wouldn’t resign myself to that

but it is fucking EXHAUSTING to try to fight something that’s part of me. to try to reshape it, rename it, pare it down, make it consumable for the masses. it’s a war i have never won and it’s a war that i will lose if i keep fighting it. i cannot fight with myself. i cannot beat my monster into submission. if we’re gonna battle like that, head to head, me trying to cut it down, me trying to be the hero, it rearing back like a fire-breathing dragon,

then it’s stronger. it’s always stronger.

so i surrender.

but that’s not where i stop.

can’t fight it. can’t kill it. can’t muzzle it. can’t reshape it, can’t disarm it, can’t contain it.

alright.

so what now.

if the surrender was a full giving-up, this is where i’d passively accept that i’m doomed to hurt and destroy everything precious to me. can’t fix it. will lose everything, will never experience or deserve happiness, will make the world worse simply by existing.

that sure does sound like impending-doom rhetoric. hop skip and a jump from some dire-ass conclusions.

so fuck that, i say.

here’s a better question.

if it has to get out, then what happens if i control where it goes?

here’s the thing.

the monster doesn’t care what it kills or destroys or hurts.

“have a conscience, care about things, remember love, stop yourself, don’t do this don’t do this don’t do this.”

losing battle. lost war.

it’s not the monster’s fault. the monster doesn’t have complex motivations or hates or fears. it exists to protect me through scorched earth. a remnant of a chemical imbalance, maladaptive coping mechanism, bipolar crazy, traumatized injury. it doesn’t know that its job is obsolete.

i can’t change the monster.

but my mind is a separate thing. my mind knows what matters, what my priorities are, what i find precious, what i want to protect. my mind remembers all the things the monster doesn’t.

my mind has learned things the monster can’t.

when i fight it head-on, the malevolence is stronger than me. but as i am, walking with it, sitting in my bed writing this while examining the void and the consciousness, describing it, quantifying it,

that’s when i’m stronger.

and with my mind as the stronger force, i can decide where the monster goes. what it touches. what it destroys. what it burns. where the ashes land.

i do not want to be a destructive person. i want to be someone who builds, repairs, changes. i want to make the world better for kids like me. i want to stop pouring more gasoline onto a fire that’s been burning since long before i was born. i want to believe - i do believe - that positive change is better than negative. i do my best to plant good things and enact that positive change instead of becoming a beacon of wrath.

but there are a lot of kids surrounded by people who want them to die, and not all of them have a protective monster.

so it’s good.

when i’m depressed, my mind loses its battles. my cognizance slips. i forget why i care. i forget what i want. i forget how happiness feels, how to find pleasure in quiet moments.

i don’t get depressed as often as i used to since my meds are adjusted correctly now. but it still happens. it will keep happening for the rest of my life.

my mind weakens and curls up and stops fighting, and the monster is always there.

it’s a very powerful thing when it wants to be.

it wants to survive.

the thing is, it knows there are people that want me/us/whatever dead. it’s been fighting them forever. die like they want? my mind says, sure, what does it matter.

the monster says, nah. our work isn’t done. and fuck them, anyway.

so we get up.

so that’s how i stay alive.

i typed this for 90 minutes and after editing i’d spent two hours on this post. i don’t know if anyone will read it all. i don’t know if it’ll mean anything. i don’t know if these thoughts even make sense, much less if i’ve conveyed the feelings i have.

i love being alive. and when i don’t, i love being a monster. it’s good. all of it is good. i’ve reconciled my uglier pieces. it’s not one or the other, love or spite. it’s symbiosis. i need both, i love both.

no guarantees that this is helpful, but based purely on my own life experience, these are my tips for survival:

you’ll have to find your own roots. i can’t give them to you.

but it’s possible to dig them in and spread them far enough that one uprooted peg doesn’t shift your whole equilibrium.

and when you’re tired, rest, and let yourself be tired, and find the reason why you’re staying in the world.

i’m positive there’s at least one.

figure out why you’re losing your battles and then change the game.

if you can’t win one setup, don’t try to beat the system. adjust your strategy.

you’ll be surprised by what you can love when you stop fighting the disparate pieces of you, and instead figure out how to use them.

#i have several other questions to answer in my inbox if you've asked me st over the past few weeks #im not ignoring it im figuring out how to phrase my reply #replies #bipolar blogging #actuallybipolar #my writing #life advice #long post #REALLY long post #it's under a read more but if mobile deletes it i apologize #c ptsd tag #suicide m #ok to reblog #Anonymous

37 notes · View notes

thorman-barnes · 5 years

Text

Unexpected || Part 4

pairing: stucky x reader

requests: yes?

prompts: none

summary: Y/N and Steve briefly talk about it

warnings: none?

Masterlist || Series Masterlist

Steve sat across from Y/N at the desk of the old, run down motel. Their vehicle had broken down from all the bullets it had taken and they had to ditch it on the side of the road and walk a couple of miles until they ran into this sketchy motel with their gear and luggage on hand.

Y/N’s feet ached by the time they got to the motel and she refused to get up from the bed until the pizza they had ordered had arrived and they set it on the desk because the table looked just about close to collapsing.

The pizza wasn’t that good but it was the closest thing they have had to food in the past two days and neither complained. They lost connection with the gang a few days ago and they have been on their own ever since. Natasha was on the other line giving them directions while she healed from a broken leg but when they in the middle of the fight, their connection gave out and they have been running loose.

“You think she got our message?” You asked quietly as you sipped on your water that Steve bought for you at the liquor store across the street.

“Yeah, if not, our pictures would be all over the news asking for information on our whereabouts,” he commented and bit into a slice of pizza. He just hoped Bucky wasn’t worrying his ass off about his safety. He hasn’t called in the past few days when he had promised he would check in every twenty four hours and has failed to do so.

“How long do you think until they know our exact location?”

Steve shrugged and looked up to see you staring at the pizza - trying to decide which slice you want to eat next. “A few days maybe? We’re a few hours away from where we last had contact with them. It shouldn’t take long but they have to be quiet about it so no else finds us before they do.”

You nodded slowly and pulled at a slice until it was free from the other slices and took a big bite, your stomach growling even after already eating three slices of pizza. “Can I ask you something, Steven?”

He chuckled at his name but nodded anyway thinking you were going to ask about the mission or something related to your current situation.

After a few seconds, he choked on his soda when you asked him what he and Bucky thought about your offer. It was a few minutes before he even responded. Truth is, he and Bucky thought a lot about your offer. They made a pros and cons list, they daydreamed about it, they avoided you for a week because they couldn’t look you in the eye as they thought about your offer. The thought of getting you pregnant so her and Bucky can have a child was both exciting and scary at the same time.

You thought that his silence meant the didn’t want to talk about it and went back to focusing your energy on the pizza before you so then you can move onto the chips you had made Steve buy you as well.

Sighing, he caught your attention. “We’ve been talking about it.”

You looked up and slowly chewed on your food as he talked while not making eye contact. You figured he was going to by shy about it but if this was something they wanted, you had to talk about it no matter how embarrassing and awkward it would be.

“If we do this. . . what’s in it for you?” He asked and his eyes flickered up to you and landed back on the window beside you both and tried to act as normal as he possibly could.

One thing he learned quickly was that talking about this was a lot easier with Bucky than it was with you. Because at least with Bucky, he could speak his mind without judgement and with you, he wasn’t sure where he stood.

“Nothing,” you shrugged like it was no big deal - like you hadn’t talked to Wanda about this just the other day before you went on your mission. She made some valid points about why you shouldn’t do this but you ignored her. “I just want you both to be happy is all.”

“You know this will ruin us if you change your mind last minute, right? We won’t be friends if you decide you want the baby - we can’t go through that again especially Bucky,” Steve stated in a firm voice as walls began to build up to protect his own heart and his husband’s. The pain they had from when the woman decided she couldn’t give the baby up was starting to find its way back to him and the last thing he needed was to have a break down in front of you but when you spoke up again, he was thankful for it.

“I know that,” you nodded once and studied his features. He was trying hard not to make eye contact and although his features were firm if he looked you in the eye, he might just break. “But I wouldn’t have offered if I had some doubts. Steve, listen, you and Bucky deserve happiness and a chance at a family. And I want to give you that.”

“He wants to move away, you know that?” he turned to look at you and sucked in a deep breath as his voice wavered. He wasn’t sure if he can have this discussion because he still wasn’t okay from what happened last time and he didn’t want to get his hopes up. “If we have a baby, he wants to retire and buy a house somewhere on the outskirts of New York or California or anywhere really. He wants to live a quiet life and be a stay at home dad and I’d do the occasional missions. . . He talked about family road trips, family movie nights, all that kind of stuf-”

“He’d be a great dad,” you commented as Steve was getting lost in the possibility of having everything he and Bucky ever wanted. But hearing Steve talk about a future with Bucky, a weird feeling erupted within you and you weren’t sure what it was. “But what do you want, Steve?”

He sighed and chewed on his lower lip as his heart pounded in his chest and it was all he was feeling at the moment. He was anxious and he wasn’t sure for what. He was just talking to you and you were one of his best friends and it shouldn’t be awkward at all. But it was. Because you guys were talking about the possibility of either him or Bucky sleeping with you so they can have a baby and start a family.

“I just want to be happy. For Bucky to be happy. I want to have start a family and have a life” he gestured to the room - to the mission you were in the middle of- “out of all this crazy. Too many bad things happening around us and I just want one good thing, you know?” When you nodded, he offered you a shy smile.

It was quiet for a moment before a thought hit you. They wanted to move away. That meant you’d hardly ever see them. Maybe it’d be for the best. They were married and as Wanda has often pointed out - having a crush on two married men was messy. And add having a baby for them into the mix? It’d be all sorts of complicated.

“Seems like you know what you want,” you commented and cleaned your fingers on a piece of napkin.

He shrugged, “We talk about it a lot.”

You raised a brow and leaned back, arms crossed over your chest. “Oh, yeah? Like what?”

The corners of his lips twitched and were inching towards a smile as he got lost in his own thoughts of wonders and joy. “Like - Like we’d get a place with a big yard. You know, like huge. Maybe with a white picket fence too. Probably have a dog. . .”

He had a vision in his dream as he spoke to you that he had forgotten he has never told Bucky this because of the fear of getting his hopes to high. He can see himself and Bucky having a baby girl. He wanted to spoil their daughter rotten. Buy her all the pretty dresses she wanted, all the stuffed animals that could possibly fit in her small bed, hold her when she was sick, learn to do different hairstyles each morning before their day officially began. . .

“You want a daughter?” You smiled and it only grew wider when you noticed his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

“I just always saw myself having a daughter,” he admitted and it was the first time you saw him smile in a while. It held hope and it held longing as well. Perhaps it was the fact that he was so close to having his dreams come true.

“So then let me do this for you,” you reached across the table and rested your hand on top of his, giving his hand a soft squeeze. Setting your feelings aside, you wanted them to be happy whether you were part of that happiness or not. “Think about it, Steve, in just nine months you can have the life you and Bucky have been dreaming of.”

Cautiously, he looked between your connected hands then into your eyes. He was trying to read for something but he wasn’t sure what. He knew this was too good to be true but his emotions were overwhelming and he couldn’t think straight when he was so close to getting everything he wants. Suddenly, he felt like Bucky - full of hope and joy and it was uncontained.

Tag List:

@iamalphanow @my-marvelside-bl0g @m-a-t-91 @hoewkeye @im-just-another-monster @scarsout @mcuwillbethedeathofme @wonderlandfandomkingdom @ssaaraw

Bucky Barnes Tag List:

@hour-to-hourglass

Stucky x Reader Tag List:

@ravennightingaleandavatempus@mydogisthebest@hellaqueerangelofthelord@hockeyshmockey@multireality@letterstomyself21@themusicalweirdo@multifandomwriter121 @firstangeldragonranch @aactuaaltraash @marshyrebelcloud

Series Tag List:

@zorsefoal @this-is-mycrisis @owlyannah @joyofbebbanburg @delicatecapnerd @bi-bi-bi-bisexualz @evansiess @steebrogurz @henderwhore4life

#stucky x reader

48 notes · View notes

neokollection · 6 years

Text

Kissing Out of Jealousy

NCT U + Yuta

‘Can I request a NCT U kissing you out of jealousy?’

A/N: I’m sure there’s already a reaction of this, but I’m here to add another :^) This is assuming you’re dating for some members, but for some you’re not dating, they like you- THIS IS LONG BTW!! [Kinda more like a mini drabble per each member]

** Language, some suggestive themes, but nothing explicit ** ik some ppl don't find jealousy cute so don't read if you not into that..

Taeil:

Taeil wasn’t the type to get jealous easily or behave pettily- Rather, he was just protective at times and would feel he’d have to interject to save you from situations... Whether you were feeling uncomfortable or not- Yet a part of your boyfriend also felt slightly neglected, a faithful dog waiting on the other side of the fence with it’s tail wagging at the sight of it’s owner, even though it’s owner was petting the neighbor’s cat.

He called out your name in the hopes of getting your attention as he watched you and Ten staring at your screens before nudging each other continuously with a laugh to show the other a recent entertaining Tweet. He was all for you bonding with the other boys, but he’d missed you this week and throughout the day constantly stuck by your side. Placing the bowl of steaming popcorn upon the coffee table, he took his seat beside you on the couch, hand patting around for the remote he’d dropped there moments before.

“OMG- You have to show that to Mark,” Ten gasped, covering his mouth to conceal his wicked grin as he looked at the meme you’d stumbled upon of Mark’s shorts.

“Let me see,” Taeil added, not wanting to miss out and curious as to what was so funny.

He leant in, eyes flickering to Ten as he watched the younger lean back into the couch, thumbs moving rapidly upon his screen. Taeil listened amusedly as he heard your small chuckle in his ear, a smile gracing his lips as he saw your screen before drawing back partially.

“You’re amused so easily,” he chuckled, nose nearly brushing your own as he leant nearer, a hand shooting to your waist to tickle you gently.

“Says you,” you squirmed with a bright smile.

Finally, his forehead rest upon your own, his antics stilling as he closed the gap between the two of you for a quick kiss. Embarrassed about kissing so openly with Ten by your side, you felt a blush creep upon your cheeks as you pulled away shyly. You could have sworn Taeil’s gaze jumped from your lips to your eyes to Ten before he closed the gap once more- You let out a muffled chuckle against his lips as your hands went to the front of his shirt to slow him down and steady yourself.

“Ew- God- Could you not?” Ten whined in disapproval, scooting away.

You could feel Taeil’s smile against your lips before he drew back, eyes as lively as ever.

Smothering you and being that cute couple to show off and make others wanna gag, but not let you think it’s a jealousy thing-

Taeyong:

Easily, one of the most jealous man you’d ever dated. He had his share of insecurities that make him question whether he’s worthy of love and attention, and an anxiety about losing the person he cherishes the most... So, seeing your interactions with your old classmates made him feel even more insecure in the moment. He’d had a stressful and busy week and hadn’t gotten to see you much, merely late calls that usually didn’t last long because he’d coax you to go to sleep early since you’re busy as well. Meeting a few of your old high school classmates, totally coincidentally at Gong Cha was all it took for him to have a small internal freak out. He already didn’t like that they were guys, even more so that they’d known you longer than he had technically... He felt excluded- He always wanted to be a part of every part of your life and have you in every part of his- To him your soulmates and he didn’t like feeling as though someone had a leg up on him in regards to you.

“You look great! Wow- It’s been a minute, but wow-” one of your old classmates gushed, stunned by how you’d matured and glowed up through the years spent apart.

You gave a small chuckle in return, “I’m surprised you recognized me-”

“I mean how could I forget (Y/n)?” he joked, gesturing towards you, followed by a few hums of the other classmates beside him.

You weren’t exactly sure what he meant by that- You didn’t think of yourself as too memorable of a person during high school. You’re boyfriend disliked it even more, a scowl etched into his features- He didn’t like not being in the know or what exactly the man meant.

“Well, it’s a small world I guess,” you wrapped up awkwardly, “It was nice to see you,” you added, able to feel Taeyong’s calculating gaze.

Sighing to yourself, you took a sip of your tea, inviting Taeyong to ask whatever he was going to ask.

“Were you popular in high school?”

“No,” you huffed, “Not really anyway- I’ve already told you about my high school- I wasn’t even friends with those guys... I can’t believe he recognized me.”

‘You’re just too pretty to be forgettable’ was what Taeyong had been thinking, but decided to keep it in. He could still feel their fleeting gazes glancing towards you as they sat down in laughter- He didn’t like that... What were they talking about? You? Were they laughing about you? Who knew what prude remarks they were making.

“I’d have dated her back in junior year if I knew she was gonna turn out like this-”

Feeling jealous, protective, and anxious he stood, causing you to look up at him, “Where are you going..?”

“Bathroom,” he informed before bending down, his hand coming to cradle your jaw as he sealed your lips together in a sweet kiss- Lips tasting of caramel.

Your lips followed his own as he drew back, swiping his thumb endearingly across your cheek before giving it a gentle pinch. You pulled your face from his grasp at the action, playfully pouting at your cup of tea as he left the table.

“I know right-”

The voices got louder as he approached.

“Could you keep your voices down?” he asked, yet it wasn’t really a question- His tone and gaze icy and curt before he brushed past their table to the restroom.

Yuta:

Tossing in jealous Yuta because that’s hot-

You didn’t have to be dating Nakamoto Yuta for him to feel as strongly as he did. He felt like you were already his, his sweet, his dear, his precious- And he wasn’t going to let the world or anyone else take that away from him. You loved him as a friend- The two of you had crossed the boundary of friendship a few times with late night kisses and drunken texts- But there was something about his possessive nature that made you hesitant to progress any further with him. Just being his friend you felt like a prisoner-

“I have to drop by my brothers’ dorm to give him back his battery pack-” you began, halting as you remembered.

“I’ll go with you,” Yuta chimed, slinging an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as his other hand pulled the drawstrings of the hoodie harshly, causing it to close around your face.

You stumbled into him mid-step as he did so, whining dramatically as your hands attempted to shove him aside.

“My brother doesn’t like you,” you interjected, pulling the hood free from your mess of hair as Yuta released you.

With a shrug he focused his attention on taming your hair, the action causing your face to heat.

“You shouldn’t go into the boys dorm alone,” he reprimanded, motherly as ever.

Jaehyun. Your brother’s roommate and soccer teammate of Yuta- was coming down the very path you were on the quad.

“Jaehyun!” you called out suddenly, happy to find a delivery man.

His eyes darted from his phone to you, his brows knitting together seconds later-

“Hey,” he began, slowly letting his gaze drift between the two of you before to your hoodie.

“Uh... Is that your hoodie?”

“I stole it from my brother- Don’t tell,” you chuckled.

Letting out a soft chuckle of amusement, Jaehyun shook his head, “That’s not your brother’s- That’s mine. I’d been looking for it all week-”

“Oh my God!” you gasped, dropping the tote bag from your shoulder, “I’m so sorry! I- It was on his side of the room... So I thought-”

“It’s fine,” he interjected, “It looks good on you-”

Yuta’s gaze narrowed at that remark and before he even had a moment to stop you, you were peeling off the hoodie and offering it to an astonished Jaehyun. You saw no issue with it, you were wearing a t-shirt underneath.

“I’m so so sorry! Also...” you began, picking up your bag, “Could you give this to my brother?”

“Sure-” Jaehyun nodded, scratching the nape of his neck as you pushed the goods into his hands before whipping around and grabbing the side of Yuta’s plaid jacket to bring him in tow with you-

“O my God... That was so embarrassing-” you rambled, feeling your face hot in embarrassment.

Suddenly, Yuta’s feet stopped moving, causing you to stop. He removed his phone from the pocket of his jacket before slipping it into his jeans, removing his coat.

“What are you doing?” you asked dumbly before catching on, “N-No, I’m not cold or anything-”

Silently, he draped it over your shoulders before his hands slid to the open front of it, grasping it before pulling you closer by the collar. His lips melded with your own, needy and passionate, jealousy brewing in his heart at even a simple encounter. His hands slid down to the zipper, zipping it quickly as he pulled away, your arms constricted, a smug expression on his face before he began walking again.

“H-Hey! GET THIS off me!” empty sleeves flopping by your sides as you hobbled after him.

The type to give you a little taste of his cold shoulder and reprimanding you for being careless [about making him jealous basically].

Kun:

Respectful and mature bub who wouldn’t do anything unless the two of you were dating, and for a while.

He couldn’t understand why Xioajun was so clingy towards you- I mean... He understood it in a sense since he was also in a way- But it was different. You were taken- Xiaojun should have taken a hint from him by now. Kun was constantly swooping in to interrupt the too of you, the hint of a small grin gracing his features each time to hide his unkindly thoughts towards the younger.

“Does Xiaojun bother you?” he questioned, watching as you pulled on your socks from the doorway of your bedroom, his shoulder resting against the frame.

“No?”

Cocking your head to the side, you couldn’t understand what Kun was hinting at or why he was asking.

“He’s always around you...”

“Yeah,” you chuckled, “We’re friends.”

You stood, ready to pass by your boyfriend and slip on your shoes by the doorway, yet he didn’t budge.

“Well...” he began, “I don’t want to sound ...clingy, but I don’t like it-”

“There’s nothing to worr-”

You were mid-roll of your eyes, when he cut you off, his warm hand enveloping around your own, “You’re mine, right?”

There was a hint of something swimming in his chocolate gaze, as if a saddened part of him needed reassurance.

“O-Of course,” you admitted, blushing to yourself from feeling caught off guard.

“Then I have a right to be like this,” he added, voice softer.

You open and shut your mouth dumbly, not sure what to say in response. Yes? He to a degree had a right to feel jealous- But... There was really no reason to be jealous over Xiaojun- Tugging your hand forward gently, he drew you to meet his lips, lilting his neck down. His kiss was delicate, lips plush and substantial, but movements gentle and loving. Your knees felt weak, as if it was your first kiss again.

“Don’t worry about it,” you nearly whispered as he drew back, “I’ll try to be mindful,” you added, referring to distancing yourself a bit so Kun wouldn’t get the wrong impression again.

“We’re going to be late...”

Doyoung:

You drew back to take a breath before your lips were smothered again, his nostrils flaring in anger and also the need for oxygen. You whined gently against his lips, attempting to pull back once more. You panted, out of breath before placing a hand on Doyoung’s chest to keep him at bay.

He leant back over the center console, resting his head back against the padded seat. Finished clicking in your seat belt you looked at him.

“When you dress like that,” he began, nodding forward, “guys get the wrong idea.”

“N-”

“Like thinking you’re single and something for them to ogle at,” he added, cutting you off, “You have no idea what kind of sleaze bags were looking at you and what they were thinking-”

His fox-like eyes flickered back to you, taking a moment to glance at the obvious cleavage you’d put on display.

“I dressed up for you- I just… I wanted to feel sexy and make you-”

“Make me what? Upset?”

“No! Proud to be with me- To be attractive to you…”

Raking a hand through his hair he let his gaze fall upon your own.

“Don’t you get it?” he began, jabbing the keys into the ignition, “You’re always attractive to me- I always want you- I’m always proud of you- But I want to be the only one to see.. You don’t deserve them looking at you like that and it makes me sick,” he trailed off, quickly casting his gaze forward as he pulled away from the curb.

You felt a tingle jolt along your spine at his words.

Ten:

He’d been giving you a snarky attitude all day; curt remarks and dismissive glances. Sighing for the final time as he pretended to ignore you, you let your tongue poke at your cheek in annoyance.

“Look at me,” you probed.

His fingers halted before smashing the pause button on his game, tossing the controller aside him on the sofa as he let out his own sigh, his gaze continuing to be fixed upon the TV screen.

“Why are you being like this?”

You hated how beautiful his profile was, the slope of his sharp nose and outline of his soft lips.

“Why won’t you even talk to me?” you added, raising your tone.

“If you want someone to talk to why don’t you ask Taeyong?” he quipped, voice laced with venom.

Huffing in exasperation, you let your hands fall to your hips.

“Are you serious?”

Finally… he turned his dark gaze towards you.

“Yeah,” he nearly shrugged, attitude as petty as ever.

“You’re such a child!” you shouted, unable to control your emotions as you stormed away, frustrated and wanting to cry.

He paused for a moment before standing.

“I’m childish?” he asked, tone brazen and perplexed.

You stopped, turning on your heel-

“Then what?” he questioned, “Is Taeyong the man?”

Before you could spit out a reply he grabbed onto your elbow.

“I’m the only man you should see,” he barked.

“You are my only man…” you murmured, hurt he thought otherwise.

Cupping your face, he pulled you into him, lips messily finding one other before passionately embracing.

Omg I hate this one…

Jaehyun:

Far enough. Was what Jaehyun had been thinking.

His jaw was set, his lips pursing each time his eyes narrowed slightly, causing one of his dimples to gently show.

Sure, it was Taeyong’s birthday, but that didn’t mean he had the right to flirt with you-

“Is that right?” you giggled, after listening to one of Taeyong’s stories.

Your fork idly toyed with the pasta in your dish as you gave Taeyong your attention. The rest of the lunch table seemed chatty, side for Jaehyun whom pouted by your side. His silence was slowly steeling your attention away from Taeyong as you began to worry.

“You’ll have to excuse me for a moment,” you interjected, glancing towards the bathroom.

Your plan was simple, take a break from Taeyong by using the restroom before retuning and turning to Jae to give your attention and ask what was up. As you stood Johnny began speaking to Taeyong, allowing you the perfect cover to escape. As you did, someone snagged you by your belt loop. Your forlorn boyfriend looking up at you with eyes you couldn’t place.

“Where are you going?”

“Bathroom,” you whispered, your brows furrowing in concern at his oddness.

He released you, standing himself to follow you.

“Why are you being so weird?” you inquired, rounding a corner with him.

“I’m jealous,” he admitted.

“Wh- How? What’s there to be jealous about?” you stumbled.

Instead of answering or explaining, he cornered you against the wall once the two of you were hidden from sight in the hall of the bathroom.

“Babe,” you began, your voice lowering.

Being under his gaze in such close quarters you felt trapped, trying to think of what he’d want to hear to be reassured. You bit your lip in thought. Warm lips clashed with your own, not too aggressive, nor gently. The breath that had gotten caught in your throat came out as a sigh against his lips as his hands slid from the wall on either side of your shoulders to your hips.

“We can’t do this here,” you nearly whispered, your lips brushing his own in temptation.

Ignoring you, his hasty lips met yours again, causing you to let out a small moan of protest.

“Oh- God-” Ten sputtered, shielding his eyes from the entrance of the hallway as he saw the two of you.

Your fist came in contact with Jae’s pec as he broke away from you.

...When you came back to the table you could feel everyone’s gaze upon the two of you, lowering your gaze in embarrassment as Jaehyun wore a smug grin.

Win:

Cold shoulders were never fun, especially when dealing with your best friend Sicheng. He sat several rows in front of you in the lecture hall instead of beside you, scrolling through his phone and clearly avoiding your texts. You bit your pen cap in annoyance as you stared at the back of his head.

“Maybe they broke up-”

It was a hushed whisper, but you were able to here it.

“Just go talk to her-”

Evidently Sicheng heard it too, his thumb having stopped scrolling and his ears perked.

“Hey,” a gentle voice said, taking the seat beside you.

“H-Hi,” you fumbled, baffled as to why Mark Lee was sitting next to you.

“This seat’s not taken, is it?”

“No,” you enunciated, making sure it was clearly loud enough for Sicheng to hear in an attempt to be petty.

“Cool- Well, uh, there’s this party at Alpha Delta Si later,” he began, “If you wanted to go, you could be my plus one- Honestly, we’ve had this class together all semester and I thought you were cute-”

You were flattered by his invitation, but frat parties weren’t really your scene.

Glancing over his shoulder at the encounter, Sicheng was caught by your gaze.

“Oh- Uh, I’ll have to think about it, parties like that aren’t really my thing-” you declined politely.

“O-Oh,” Mark nodded, retracting to his seat in thought as the professor entered.

The entire lesson you and Sicheng fumed with thoughts of each other, unable to concentrate. The lesson seemed to end in record time, not that you were paying attention.

“So, um, if parties aren’t your thing we could do something like uh... get ice cream, or-”

Once you’d stood to stuff your belongings in your bag, Mark was back at it again. However, your sleeve was yanked by the ever so thoughtful Sicheng, pulling you from the row and tugging you up the stairs of the lecture hall. You stumbled after him dumbly until he shoved the door open with such force you were scared for a moment.

“Stop-” you shot, pulling from his grip.

“Was I interrupting something?” he asked bitterly.

“What the fuck is your problem? I thought you-”

You could feel the gaze of several classmates in the hallway, feeling embarrassed. Behind you, Sicheng saw the door of the lecture hall swing open with none other than Mark and Jeno, his eyes narrowing as he caught Mark’s gaze. Swooping in, his hand clamped over your forearm to pull you to meet his lips, his blunt nails digging into your sweater. He was overwhelming, figure looming over your own, hasty lips pushing against your own, you felt lost in your shock.

Jungwoo:

“Let me up,” you huffed for what felt like the fifth time.

A hum of disapproval left the boy who’d constricted himself around you.

“Woo- I’ll be late for my shift...” you tried, sighing to yourself.

“Don’t go,” he murmured.

“I have to go- My supervisor will be mad if I’m late again...”

“Your supervisor,” he began, sitting up, his fluff of hair bouncing, unfit of his narrowing eyes, “I don’t like him.”

“It doesn’t matter if you like him or not-”

You struggled in his hold, but he draped a leg over your hips to bar your escape, hugging you closer.

“He’s creepy.”

“Yeah, he is,” you agreed with an airy chuckle, “But that doesn’t matter, I need to keep my wage-”

Rolling on top of you, you let out a whine under his weight. Cutely, he blew the hair out of your face, not daring to remove his hands from wrapped around you for fear of you escaping. You giggled and writhed at his actions, shaking the hair from your face. He plopped a soft kiss upon your lips, smothering your own before drawing back momentarily.

“Don’t go.”

His lips didn’t give yours time to spit out a retort, softly melding with yours with passion. Had it been any other day or any other occasion, you would have skipped whatever event there was to stay with him, but you couldn’t miss today... Shaking your head to shake his lips off your own, he groaned against your lips, unrelenting. You couldn’t help but let out a chuckle of anguish against his lips, following it with a low whine. He bit your lip in retaliation gently, shifting on top of you as you squealed and wiggled beneath him.

“You’re being childish,” you gasped, nostrils flaring with the need for air.

Lucas:

“Baby-”

Yukhei’s deep voice reverberated through your being as his lips brushed your ear.

“Why are you watching that?”

In your defense, you hadn’t searched for it, rather it was in your suggestions and you just so happened to be curious by the amount of views it had. A Doyoung, Boss focus cam- Nor were you expecting your friend-with-benefits to be up so early... He usually slept well past ten.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you partially lied.

“Do you like him?”

“Uh,” you stalled, glancing over your bare shoulder, “It’s not like I know him-”

“I mean,” he corrected, “Do you think he’s sexy?”

Your expression morphed into one of confusion at his most likely horny what-the-fuckery. If you said yes would he set up a threesome?

“Yeah.”

A warm hand slid over your bare arm, trailing to your shoulder before moving to your throat. He didn’t like that answer- Though the two of you weren’t official, he had real feelings for you- Which is why he called you baby, and told you to stay the night when you’d start searching for your clothes the night before...

“What about me?” he groaned gently.

Dropping your phone aside, you rolled over to your side, your hand going to his wrist to stop the growing pressure he applied.

“Yeah, you’re sexy,” you rolled your eyes, knowing he was immaturely jealous.

“Am I sexier?”

He drew you closer, his nose brushing against your own as he awaited your answer.

“I’m not sure,” you teased, withholding a giggled at how his eyes widened.

He let out a chuckle too, able to catch onto your teasing attitude.

“I must be since I’m the one with you and not him,” he muttered with a smile, rolling over on top.

His lips claimed your own in an arduously slow kiss, his hand fumbling to reach over and turn off your phone.

Mark:

Alone, in bed, on his phone- Mark’s evening was rather bland. He’d been on a call with you while you’d been getting ready to come over, content with just listening to your voice.

“Why do you take so long to get ready?” he questioned with a sigh, “Just come over already.”

“I have to look good,” you countered, “You said Johnny was home...”

And here it was, the recent reason for Mark’s despise of Johnny Suh, one of his closest friends.

“Bro- So what... You’re coming over to see me, not him-”

That was true-

“Yeah, but if I do see him-”

“Whatever, just hurry up,” Mark complained, his tone snappish as he hung up.

It was hard getting friend-zoned, let alone having the girl you like be into your best friend instead.

Fifteen minutes later you were checking your reflection on your phone before the door, collecting yourself before ringing the doorbell.

Answering it, Mark felt his heart clench- You looked ridiculously cute, glossy lips, curled lashes, slight wind-blown hair, and the oversized Puma hoodie you’ d bought last week to match your leggings. He wish you were getting all dolled up for him, causing a pang of jealousy to stab him.

“I’ll pay for delivery since you paid last time,” you remarked, stepping through the doorway to remove your shoes as your eyes searched for the giant of your affection.

Yet he was nowhere in sight... Making your way to Mark’s room with your bag, dropping it to his bed and plugging your phone into his charger. You heard the distinct sound of the refrigerator opening, bottles rattling- Perhaps it was Johnny. Turning on your heel, you planned upon seeing whom it was, but a Mark Lee was blocking your path, having just entered the threshold of his room.

“Lemme see,” you pried, your brows furrowing as he closed the door behind himself.

“It’s Taeil,” he lied, knowing what you were after.

You still wanted to check for yourself, even give the senior a greeting.

“Uh, let me through,” you paused as Mark remained in his spot.

“Why’s it always go to be about him?”

“I- What do you-”

“You know what I mean,” he interjected, raising his voice, “All of a sudden everything’s about him-”

“That’s not true,” you tried, folding your arms defensively.

“Yes it is,” he retorted, taking a step toward you, his bad attitude and mood nearly radiating off his figure, “We can’t even hang out like we used to because you’re always preoccupied with him-”

“I can’t help that I like him!” you shot back.

It took only another step and Mark was in front of you, his hands flying to grip your shoulders as his nose brushed yours for only a millisecond- You couldn’t contemplate what was taking place and before it registered, his lips were on your own, sticky lip gloss transferring.

2K notes · View notes

jeanna-nottaylor-swift · 5 years

Text

Part 4.) Hard Rain

I Cant Fight Without You.

The boat ride was relaxing. Virgil had some food they all shared, and he knew the way to New Orleans. He says CEDA is there taking care of the 'Apocalypse'.

Nick slept on Ellis' shoulder while he and Rochelle played UNO. Coach sat with Virgil and talked about anything.

Looking down at the gas tank, Virgil realized he was low on gas. Luckily he knew the area well, and knew there was a small town off shore that sells diesel.

"I'll leave an anchor just off shore, for ya. Just signal me when you got the gas." Virgil called as he dropped the survivors off on a small dock.

"What are we gunna signal him with?" Nick asked, watching Virgil drive off.

"Oh! There's flares in the gun bag." Ellis cracked his neck.

"What gun bag?"

"You forgot the guns?!"

"Me?! Who died an made me gun monitor?"

"Uh pretty much everybody."

A few handheld weapons lied in front of a white truck, each person grabbed a small weapon, and two proceeded inside and two climbed the car and onto the roof.

Nick and Ellis ran in and grabbed health packs, then guns before killing the infected inside.

Rochelle and Coach killed the zombies on the roof before going down into the restaurant. They also grabbed much needed essentials.

Zombies surrounded the outside, and ran inside once the group came into sight. Nick sniped from the roof, and Ellis beat them from inside, Rochelle shot the ones coming in the back, and Coach was outside killing the infected.

The street sign across the street blinked "Ducatel Diesel" "Next gas 2 miles"

"Looks like we gotta head to this Ducatel place." Ellis confirmed.

"What makes you think they still have gas?" Nick contradicted.

"'Cause if they don't, we're gonna be stuck here forever, Nick." Coach narrowed his eyes.

It seems like Coach has had enough of Nick's shit.

Ellis picked up on the sour mood and ran ahead, encouraging his remaining teammates to follow him, in silence.

A wooden board was up against a fence and they climbed up it. Zombies were scattered along the back yard, and they ran towards the people, climbing up the fence just to get to them. They're basic, though, so the group has no problem fighting them off.

There was no way to go around the houses, so they had to climb up a ladder that was against a trailer. Nick let Coach and Rochelle go up and over, once they had made it over the fence; he stood in front of the ladder, preventing Ellis from going up. Nick smiled a devilish grin, that sent a chill down Ellis' spine.

Ellis knew what was going to happen next, and his face got hot.

Nick grabbed ahold of Ellis' shoulders and pinned him against the trailer. Tilting the shorter boys head up, Nick kissed him. It was passionate, and simply amazing.

Though Nick would never admit it, he was actually nervous to make the first move, but he couldn't see Ellis pulling him from his teammates to kiss him.

Ellis relaxed as the kiss progressed. It was different from his previous relationships, it was nice, and just felt good, not to say his others were bad, it was just... different, and he couldn't explain.

Rochelle knocked on the fence, scaring the shit out of the two boys.

"You guys coming? Or what?"

"Y-yeah!" Ellis stuttered, climbing the ladder.

Better weapons were on the ground besides the trailer. Ellis grabbed a golf club, and Nick kept his axe.

Across the street was a playground.

They had to remember 'land marks' for the return trip.

"Is it raining? Oh, never mind, it is." Ellis looked up.

Nick rolled his eyes at his stupid companion.

Rochelle saw what was going on between the two boys, it was hard to know whether Coach could see it or not. He has stopped caring a long time ago. He just wanted to get to New Orleans.

The survivors were greeted with a ton of zombies once they cut through houses. Special infected joined them. A jockey leaped on Nick, and a hunter on Coach.

Rochelle and Ellis couldn't help right away, due to the amount of zombies that swarmed them.

Rochelle shoved them back, and ran to help Nick who was being pulled around by the jockey.

Coach was being torn by the hunter and Ellis couldn't get to him. If he didn't act fast, Coach would die.

Ellis remembered he had a pipe bomb in his pocket, shoving the zombies back; he quickly lit it and threw it, and the zombies ignored him and ran after the beeping device.

Ellis pushed the hunter off of Coach and killed it. Then he pulled Coach to his feet.

The zombies exploded and none remained. Ellis pulled out his health pack and started to patch Coach up, "Here ya go. I had no use for this anyhow, I ain't gonna get shot."

Once ready; the group proceeded across the street to a play ground, over a gate and through more houses.

Nick decided they should search the houses for supplies. They were a lot nicer that the place before. There wasn't much, no food, little furniture. An unused Molotov sat on the kitchen counter. Ellis took it. Coach handed him a health pack he found. Then they moved to the next one.

The light sprinkle turned into a slightly harder rain.

Nick took the lead as they went in and out of houses. They were family homes. Ones a married couple would have with a child. A brief thought ran through Nick's head: him and Ellis sitting on a love seat in front of a fire enjoying each other's company. Nick would have his arm around Ellis' shoulder, while he leaned on him. It'd be the start of a family he had always wanted. Nick would protect Ellis, and Ellis would stand by him.

He smiled despite himself, because he knew that could never happen. Not in his lifetime. But it was nice, the thought of spending his life with someone. And Ellis was that person.

A similar thought ran through his head as well. Ellis really liked Nick. His personality was so different from his own, yet he was so similar. It's only been a few days, but it's felt like forever.

A parked ambulance was in the middle of the street, and the group scavenged it for medical items. A smoker grabbed Ellis and dragged him away from his teammates, "NO!"

Coach got to them first and rescued his confined friend.

Once everyone was settled, Rochelle took the lead and they all continued down a street. Shooting a few zombies here and there. A tank stayed hidden in an open garage, until he spotted Rochelle, then he growled and came at her. Sending her flying, the others protected her by shooting the tank.

It put up a fight, a pretty good one.

It left the team weak and tired.

"I have not come this far, to die now." Nick groaned, his vision a tad gone hazy. He took some pills, but that was only a temporary boost. A garage sale was down the street, and they used that as another land mark. Guns lie on the table, and they all restocked. It was either go through the house or down the alleyway along the side. They decided to just take the path on the side, the faster they get the diesel the faster they can leave.

Just down the street was a safe house in the second floor of a house. In a hurry to get to safety, the survivors run to the house. Ellis shut the big red door and locked it. "Okay, who here didn't think we were gonna make it?" With a teasing tone, he smiled with relief and wiped the sweat from his face.

Nick knew he was teasing, but a familiar feeling sat in the pit of his stomach; fear. Flashes of Ellis bleeding out in his arms terrified him. He nervously looked at him as he and Rochelle talk about something.

Ellis smiles at the interesting conversation and it relaxed him a little. Nick was so afraid of losing Ellis. He liked him... A lot, and he knew that feeling was mutual. He couldn't imagine being on a team without Ellis. Of course; his facial features never changed, everything he felt was inside. The only affection he ever showed was to Ellis. He was cold and angry. He never showed any emotion, that was how he was raised.

The clouds grew grey as the rain hardens. They stepped down the stairs and out of the safe house, to continue their journey for more gas, they'd need to go through the Ducatel Sugar Co. because the road was blocked. The place had boarded up windows and clearly hasn't been used in a long time.

A sign hung at the top of the building, "Stay away! Witches!"

It wasn't the first warning they gotten about witches; it was written all over the safe house.

A broken window was their entrance inside, but as soon as they went back outside through the back door, a witch was heard as she walked around in the rain. Since she was moving, it was a lot easier to move around her. Into the back parts of the mill, there was a lot of outside industrial working parts, and a lot of the basic zombies wore the uniforms. Going around pipes, the survivors made into the production section of the sugar mill. Machinery were everywhere and coated with rain water. Different witch echoes could be heard in different areas. There was about three of them nearby.

"Shit... IM about to start crying in a minute." Ellis spoke quietly. "Nick, you ever see so many witches? Ho-lee shit!" An opening lead to a small open area and an authorization only trailer. They stocked up and headed for the mill. Up three flights of stairs, an elevator lead down to a cane field. A gas sigh could be seen from the third story. Coach called the elevator up, and it made an awful squeak that called the zombies to attention. A hunter ran up the stairs and pounced on Rochelle. A boomer threw up on her and Nick sending the zombies in their way. Nick killed the hunter and Coach killed the boomer. Ellis killed the infected climbing up the side of the sugar mill building. It took about five minutes for the old elevator to come up. They hurried inside and went back down.

A cane field was tricky to go through. The stalks here high, and you couldn't see over them, really. They could still see the sign, however. They followed that to get out. Three of them made it out, and Nick rolled his eyes once he realized Ellis wasn't one of them. "Dumbass must have gotten lost." He huffed and turned back to go find his stupid partner. Coach and Rochelle stayed out of the field and killed the zombies around the gas station.

Ellis sat on a pipe in the rain waiting for his teammates to return.

Nick smirked at the sight of him looking at his hands, all sad like in the rain. He looked like a lost puppy.

He grabbed Ellis' hand and slightly pulled him through the cane field and back out. Ellis looked down in embarrassment, and it was probably the cutest thing Nick had ever seen.

Since Rochelle and Coach took care of the zombies, they ran into the safe house with ease and in there was four large green cases of diesel. And they all grabbed one and patched themselves up before heading out again. With the gas strapped to their backs, Rochelle asked, "Does everybody have enough gas? I do not want to make this trip again."

The survivors go back outside for the return trip to Virgil.

Zombies swarmed the group, and it was poring outside. Thunder cracked and lightning strikes.

Once it settled down and the zombies were dead, they went back through the cane field.

Nick held on to Ellis' wrist to keep him from getting lost again, because if that were to happen, there'd be a good chance Nick couldn't find him in the storm.

At the sugar mill, Coach called the elevator back up, once everyone was inside. A spitter stood outside the gate, and spat before it was open. The acid burned as they ran out, and Nick shot the long-necked infected. A boomer stood in an opening next to Ellis, who didn't see it. Rochelle shot it, and it exploded, sending Ellis over the edge, covered in goo. Zombies that were attracted to the smell came running up to the third floor of the sugar mill. Surrounding Ellis who was hanging on the edge, and Nick shoved them off before pulling Ellis back to safety.

They quickly ran back down the stairs to see the ground they once walked on was completely flooded.

"We can climb over this tank." Ellis called out as he climbed up a yellow ladder. Back to the machinery, and down on to it. Witches cries are echoed through the area.

The storm came back and it was hard to see, they stayed still until it cleared up.

Retracing their steps, they made it out and around the sugar company.

They returned to their safe house they were in before. It had completely flooded the town ahead.

The storm came back again once they stepped outside. It was there only for a few minutes, then it cleared up and they were able to proceed.

Ellis noticed a ladder pressed up the side of a house. "Hey we can walk along the roofs!"

The water came up to their calfs and slowed them down.

Nick threw a pipe bomb to draw the zombies away from the building, then explode them.

Ellis watched carefully to make sure Nick was safe. He let him take the lead so he could keep an eye on him. Ellis liked Nick... A lot... He hoped maybe even prayed that Nick returned his feelings. The trail of roof tops came to an end and the survivors had to proceed in to the water. They saw a familiar house and ran inside to escape the oncoming storm. Outside was the garage sale they had once passed. A tank caught sight of them and ran through the water in his barbaric ways. The storm returned and it was hard to see his giant fist throw Rochelle into a parked red car, setting off its alarm.

The zombies in workers uniform could be seen trough the storm. Once the tank was dead they continued on ahead.

Past the ambulance, and down the street. And through the sides of the houses.

"The play ground!" Ellis called out as he climbed over the blown down fence. A safe house could be seen down the street, a light shines outside of it. They were so close to the safety when a spitter caused them to back up. Rochelle killed her and they eventually made their way back inside.

Rochelle sat on the couch and Ellis sat on the counter.

Nick leaned on the counter beside Ellis. "What are we gonna signal him with?" Nick asked, meaning Virgil.

"We can use the Burger Tank sign to signal him." Coach answered.

"All right, sounds like a plan." Rochelle stood up.

Everyone was ready, and headed out the door. To the left of the door was the white trailer from before. Both of the boys looked at it and the memory of a sweet moment came back.

Ellis blushed and Nick smiled slightly before moving along. Zombies swarmed the fast food restaurant. It took about 10 minutes to kill them all, plus the hidden specials. Ellis climbed up the ladder to the roof of the building. A cable box was opened and Ellis flipped the switch, "Sign is on, baby, sign is on!" He smiled jumping into the building. Everyone still had their diesel, and restocked their weapons. The group just hoped Virgil could see the sign in that damned storm.

Nick and Ellis fought outside the back of the store closest to the dock. Rochelle and Coach soon followed. Zombies fought the group, and once they were dead, a tank climbed over the fence and attacked the survivors.

It sent Nick soaring onto the dock. Coach and Ellis shot it from behind, it charged after them and Nick shot it down before it could reach Ellis. Another horde came around and just like the last; was taken care of quickly. Along with the tank, they're getting better at this whole "Zombie Apocalypse" thing.

A horn honked and Virgil was coming.

A charger charged Nick into the building and Ellis ran after him. At the same time a smoker dragged Coach near the dock, and Rochelle had to cut him loose. A tank was coming and it chased the boys out of the restaurant, Coach and Rochelle had already made it onto the boat. Once the boys got on Virgil sped away as fast as possible, leaving the tank and zombies behind.

They made a stop once it was safe to refill the gas, and they were on their way.

Sure it's never be the perfect life Ellis wanted; white picnic fence a big house and yard, a family... but as long as he had Nick, none of that mattered.

Nick wasn't sure what to think. He didn't believe in 'fate' but Nick wouldn't have met Ellis if this didn't happen, maybe it was fate...

#l4d2 #l4d #left 4 dead 2 #left 4 dead #nellis #nick x ellis #gaybies #lol

8 notes · View notes

mittensmorgul · 6 years

Text

We’re Working on the Power of Love

(AN: There are several linked posts in this essay, and normally I’d just say “for further reading,” or “if you’re interested,” but honestly I linked them here because they provide the foundation of understanding the scope of these parallels, and I consider them Required Reading. Mostly they saved me the trouble of turning this essay into a 10k word dissertation, because all the connections essentially make themselves by comparing the posts, most especially this one and this one. Go read both of those now. I’ll wait.)

There have been many posts already discussing the parallels in 14.10 to other episodes-- 4.01, 2.20, 13.06, 10.23, and a number of others. But there’s one particular theme I want to explore in more depth, because it’s tied directly to Dean and Michael both. In 5.18, Dean came dangerously close to saying yes to Michael and engaging the Apocalypse script, but everything leading up to his rejection of that script by the end of the episode has now been turned on its head by Michael himself in 14.10.

At the beginning of 5.18, Dean has made his peace with his fate and is going about preparing to give himself over to Michael-- packing up everything that’s important to him in a box for Bobby. He’s at the end of his rope and thinks this is the only way, sacrificing himself to save everyone else. He intends to bargain for their safety in exchange for his own compliance.

This is, essentially, what Cain once did for Abel, as we learned eventually in 9.11, so this loop has repeated itself more than once now, on different levels of the narrative.

I think required reading for understanding the parallels I’m about to make is this post I made on April 20, 2017 during my s12 meta rewatch. It discusses Dean’s painful rejection of each member of his family in a similar fashion to the statements Michael makes to each member of TFW in 14.10. Not to mention the fact it touches on Dean’s thoughts on a White Picket Fence ending for himself, his own guilt and internal darkness, Fate vs Free Will, Dean’s internal strength of will, and the ghost of John Winchester and his long shadow still governing Dean’s choices and opinion of himself.

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/159793521320/517-and-518-or-how-does-any-of-this-make-any (this was the first linked post from the author’s note above)

I read a couple of other posts while searching for the one linked above that also give some insight into the themes that we’re seeing again in s14 regarding all of the above-referenced themes that might prove useful reading, while we’re here:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/177899727345/hot-take-13x23-is-5x18-point-of-no-return-but

And

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/165312952745/im-new-to-spn-and-a-friend-turned-me-onto-your

(more dealing with the Winchester Family Dynamics, the Ghost of John Winchester, and fate vs free will, but still incredibly relevant to the overarching themes of s14)

But what I’d like to specifically focus on are the things Michael weaponized against each of TFW 2.0, because those barbs were crafted much the same way that Dean’s barbs toward his family were crafted in 5.18.

I detailed all of them in this post from the other night:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182126697455/one-thing-that-stuck-out-to-me-about-last-nights (this was the second linked post from the author’s note above)

I only touched on Michael’s first conversation with Castiel in the War Room briefly in that post, focusing more on his “stalling tactics” inside Rocky’s Bar, and I barely skimmed over Jack’s chat with Michael. But they are thematically paired to the hurtful comments Dean flung at his family in 5.18. Only now, Dean can see all of these statements as the deceptions they are.

In 14.10:

Jack: Sam and Dean -- they're gonna beat you. Michael: Oh, please. Sam's in so far over his head, he's drowning. And Dean? Well, I've got Dean under control. Jack: No. Dean -- he's strong. Michael: He's a gnat. I'm a god. Who would you bet on? You don't know anything about Dean. I'm in his head literally. I know everything. Like, I know how sad he was when you died on the outside. On the inside, well, it's not that he was happy -- he just didn't care. 'Cause you're not Sam. You're not Cas. You're a new burden that he was handed. You're a weak, helpless thing. You think that they care about you, love you? You're a job, a job none of them wanted. And you --

In 5.18, this wasn’t Dean’s comment, but directly subverting who Adam was to who Jack is now:

BOBBY: You’re still John’s boy. ADAM: No, John Winchester was some guy who took me to a baseball game once a year. I don’t have a dad. So we may be blood, but we are not family. My mom is my family. And if I do my job, I get to see her again. So no offense, but she’s the one I give a rat’s ass about, not you.

Adam staked his ground, separated himself from the Winchesters (to his detriment in the end), but Jack has come full circle and understands his place in the Winchester family.

The barbs Dean lobs at Sam in 5.18 resonate directly to the ones Michael hurls in 14.10:

5.18:

SAM: No? So Michael’s not about to make you his Muppet? What the hell, man? This is how it ends? You just…walk out? DEAN: Yeah, I guess. SAM: How could you do that? DEAN: How could I? All you’ve ever done is run away. SAM: And I was wrong. Every single time I did.

And

DEAN: I just…I—I don’t believe. SAM: In what? DEAN: In you. I mean, I don’t. I don’t know whether it’s gonna be demon blood or some other demon chick or what, but…I do know they’re gonna find a way to turn you. SAM: So you’re saying I’m not strong enough. DEAN: You’re angry, you’re self-righteous. Lucifer’s gonna wear you to the prom, man. It’s just a matter of time. SAM: Don’t say that to me. Not you…of all people. DEAN: I don’t want to. But it’s the truth. And when Satan takes you over, there’s got to be somebody there to fight him, and it ain’t gonna be that kid. So, it’s got to be me.

And 14.10:

- And, Sam – oh, Sam You know, Dean was his happiest when you quit hunting, leaving him with your dad, just the two of them. See, deep down, he knows that you will always abandon him, again and again.

This is playing on the exact same fear, attempting to use this as a manipulation, when everything that’s happened in their lives between 5.18 and now has served to undercut this directly.

Let’s compare what he says to Cas, who in 5.18 had intervened to yell his own pain, the truth of what he’d sacrificed in support of Dean, and eventually the fracture of his own faith in Dean and everything he’d always thought Dean stood for:

CASTIEL: Maybe they’re desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them. DEAN: Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas.

And

CASTIEL: I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them? DEAN: Cas! Please! CASTIEL: I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.

And

CASTIEL: Maybe it is. But then I won’t have to watch you fail. I’m sorry, Dean. I don’t have the same faith in you that Sam does.

Yet in 14.10, Cas is absolutely convinced that Dean is “more than strong.” His only fear is that Michael could be stronger still. And it’s Cas who sees through the deception, providing the light in the darkness to uncover and understand the truth, to see through the fear and the pain and find Dean, as well as to see through Michael’s lies for what they really are:

- You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he “gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.” Or whatever. But since then, what has he done? Only made mistakes, one after the other.

Because over the years since 5.18 they have struggled through the depths of broken trust and forgiven each other everything. They’ve come to an understanding that everything they do, they’ve done out of love. They’re not a couple of dumbasses. They know they do the wrong things for the right reasons, and they understand their own failures and guilt. And most importantly, they know that all of this has been done out of love.

Finally, there’s what Michael says about Dean himself:

- You don’t need them. You don’t even like them. They’re not your family – they’re your responsibilities. They’re a weight around your neck. And deep down, you wanted – you were desperate to get away from them. And that is why you said yes

I compared this statement to what Demon Dean tried to hurt Sam with in 10.03, just before he was cured, but this also goes directly to 5.18, and Dean’s state of mind at that time:

DEAN: Just…let me say this. I don’t know if it’s being a big brother or what, but to me, you’ve always been this snot-nosed kid that I’ve had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that that’s not you anymore. I mean, hell, if you’re grown-up enough to find faith in me…the least I can do is return the favor. So screw destiny, right in the face. I say we take the fight to them, and do it our way.

We both know that’s not you anymore.

Because there it is, even by the end of 5.18, Dean has acknowledged this relationship with Sam is not just his burden. Like the angels in s5 who desperately needed to divide Sam and Dean, to set them up as adversaries willing to capitulate to fate, that’s exactly what Michael was doing in Rocky’s Bar. He needed to break the Winchesters’ trust and faith in one another, because Team Free Will united is an unstoppable force. The theme the show has been hammering home forever is that they’re better together, stronger together. It’s the power of Love, on every level.

#spn s14 spoilers #spn 14.10 #spn 5.18 #winchester family dynamics #here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love #dinkle #oh DEAN #lies and damn lies #subversion and inversion #it's spirals all the way down #that's what free will is #need vs want #spn duality

54 notes · View notes

athena-athena · 6 years

Note

What did you do? Yondu and little Peter

A/N: Thanks for your request! I hope you like it. :)

Summary: Young Peter gets in over his head after he tries to steal something.

Tagged: @animeaniseed @misfitgirlwrites @celticheart72 (If you’d like to be added to my tagged list, just let me know!)

Warnings: None

Peter had lived on the Eclector long enough to learn how much he could get away with without Yondu finding out. He was eleven, and clever, and he could outsmart any of the Ravagers. At least, that’s what he would tell you, whether it was the truth or not.

Yondu had docked on a planet to pick up a sensitive item for a client, and the only thing he had yelled after Peter as he’d run off the ship was, “Stay outta trouble, boy! I ain’t gotta problem leavin’ ya here!”

Peter had ignored him, as always. He’d heard enough threats from Yondu over the past couple of years that he wasn’t worried about getting left behind, and he definitely wasn’t planning to get into any trouble. You couldn’t get into trouble if you didn’t get caught, and he had no intentions of getting caught.

He wandered into a local market and began to scope out the layout, as well as the wares. “Always know yer escape route,” was one of the first things Yondu had taught Peter, and it was now a habit for him to check for possible exits before he even considered taking anything.

He browsed for a while, but didn’t see anything that tempted him. It was mostly food in this area, and he’d had a big breakfast before running off the ship. He kept walking, occasionally stopping to pickup something that caught his eye, but replacing it again without a second thought. He walked on through the market for a few more minutes without seeing anything worth taking, and was just about to turn around and head back to the ship when he spotted it – a market stall filled with weapons. He walked closer as he double-checked escape routes.

He saw the stall owner talking to a potential customer about a laser cannon, and nonchalantly moved to the other side of the stall, hidden from view of the owner. There was a variety of weapons on display, most too big for him to easily steal without being caught. He kept looking, then noticed a small knife with intricate carvings on the handle and a wicked sharp blade. He picked it up and realized it folded in half – perfect for keeping in his pocket. He could slip it in his coat and no one would be the wiser. He did so, and had just turned his back to the stall to head back to the ship, when he heard, “Hey! Hey, kid! Get back here!”

He didn’t hesitate, but took off running. He could hear pounding footsteps behind him, as well as the shouting of the stall owner. He shoved between two shoppers and kept running. Just when he thought he was in the clear, a guard stepped out of the alley on the left side of the path, right in front of him. The guard had clearly taken a shortcut in order to beat Peter there. “Stop, thief!” Peter hesitated for just a moment, then darted to the alley opening on his right. He could only hope that it wasn’t a dead end. It was too late to turn around anyway. Chancing a glance behind him, he saw the stall owner and two guards now trailing him, too close for comfort.

He could see the end of the alley ahead of him, but realized too late that it was blocked by a high, chain-link fence. He could hear the guards and stall owner as they neared him. “We’ve got him now! He can’t go anywhere.” He was afraid they were right. He desperately tried to come up with a plan, but his mind had gone blank. It was then that he noticed the small hole at the bottom of the fence. He didn’t hesitate, falling to his stomach and crawling through the opening right as the guards reached the fence.

“Get back here!” one of the guards yelled. Peter didn’t even spare a glance at them, as he darted between shoppers and left the fence behind. He knew they would turn around and head back to the other end of the alley and try to find him, and his only chance was to get back to the ship before they spotted him again.

He was starting to get tired, and he wasn’t sure where the ship actually was now. He took a moment to stop and try to get his bearings. Trying to catch his breath, he looked around at the surrounding stalls and saw one that he recognized – it was one of the first ones he had passed when he left the ship. He was just about to start running again when he heard a voice yelling behind him, “There he is! Get him!”

He darted off, skirting around stalls and earning dirty looks from the shoppers he had to squeeze between. Without slowing down, he chanced another look behind him to see how close his pursuers were, then suddenly felt himself slam into someone.

“What the - ? Boy, what do ya think yer doin’?” It was Yondu. The very last person Peter wanted to run into at the moment, and of course, it had to be Yondu. Yondu grabbed Peter’s shoulders and gave him a quick shake, “What did ya do?”

“Nothin’,” Peter gasped, frantically trying to look behind himself.

“Nothin’? Don’t lie to me, boy,” Yondu scowled. The guards were getting closer now, and one yelled, “Hold that boy! Don’t let him get away!”

“An’ I guess that’s jus’ the welcoming committee wantin’ to invite ya to a little party, is it?”

“Yondu, please!”

Yondu let go of his shoulders, and, suddenly stern, said, “Where is it?”

“Wha’ - ?”

“Where is it?” he hissed.

“In…in my pocket.”

“Give it to me.”

Peter quickly handed it over, and Yondu slipped it into his own pocket.

“Now get behind me, and keep yer mouth shut,” he ordered, right before the guards and stall owner slid to a stop in front of them.

“Sir, do you know this boy?”

“Unfortunately, I do. He’s part a my crew.”

“Well, he was just caught stealing from this fine gentleman, so if you would be so kind as to hand him over, we’ll handle it from here.”

“Now, wait just a minute. Ya say ya caught ‘im stealing, but ya ain’t actually caught ‘im yet. What is it that y’all think he stole?”

The stall owner spoke up, and said, “He stole a very expensive knife from me.”

“Is that right? Well, boy, empty yer pockets.”

Peter put his hands in his pockets and pulled out an assortment of items, including a crumpled up piece of paper, two marbles, some lint, and what looked like a leftover jelly pastry – now so smashed that it was inedible.

“I don’t see nothin’ that looks like a knife,” said Yondu.

“He just didn’t pull it out of his pocket!” accused the stall owner.

“Well, then by all means, take a look fer yerselves,” offered Yondu, shoving Peter towards the guards.

One of the guards began rummaging in Peter’s pockets, removing his hand with a grimace when he realized it was now covered in jelly from the smashed pastry.

“Well?” shouted the stall owner.

“I’m sorry, sir, there was nothing left in his pockets,” he said, trying to discreetly wipe his hand on his pants. “Are you sure you saw him steal the knife?”

“Yes, of course I did.”

“We can’t hold him if he wasn’t caught with the merchandise, sir. I apologize.”

“This…this is… ridiculous,” he sputtered. “If he didn’t steal it, why did he run? Hmmm?”

“That’s true,” agreed one of the guards. “Why did you run, if you weren’t guilty of anything?”

“Of course he’s guilty of somethin’, he’s a bratty kid, they're always guilty of somethin’, but it ain’t always thievin’. I reckon the kid just got spooked when he heard y’all yellin.’ Ain’t that right, boy?”

Peter nodded, trying to look innocent.

“There ya go then, no harm done. Jus’ a kid bein’ stupid when he’s spooked.”

The stall owner’s face was steadily growing redder, but the guards looked torn.

“Well, if y’all don’t mind, I got things to do, so we’ll jus’ be on our way now,” Yondu said, grinning at the guards. He grabbed Peter’s arm, and turned to head toward the ship, shoving Peter in front of him as he walked.

They could still hear the stall owner yelling at the guards as they walked to the ship.

“Boy, I swear, sometimes ya make me wanna kill ya. I think I’ll finally eat ya and be done with it.”

Peter had long figured out that Yondu was probably lying about eating him, but he seemed angry enough this time that he might actually consider it. He picked up his pace to put some distance between himself and the Centaurian.

“Don’t you try runnin’ from me, boy. I’d just as soon send my arrow through ya as to chase ya.”

“I wasn’t runnin’.”

“Ya better not.”

They reached the ship and walked inside, Peter heading toward his favorite hiding place. He needed a few minutes to calm down, just him and his Walkman.

“Where do ya think yer goin’, boy? I ain’t finished talkin’ to ya yet.”

Peter stopped walking and reluctantly turned around to face Yondu.

“What are the first two things I told ya ‘bout thievin’?” Yondu yelled, as the ship’s doors closed behind him.

“Always know your escape routes, and don’t get caught,” muttered Peter.

“Exactly. An’ what do ya go an’ do? Ya get yerself caught.”

“I didn’t mean to get caught.”

“Nobody means to get caught, but ya did, an’ if it wasn’t fer me, ya’d be in jail right now. I shoulda left ya there, taught ya a lesson, ‘cause ya sure don’t seem to pay no attention to anythin’ I ever tell ya.”

“Well, why didn’t you then? You could have left me there and never had to see me again,” Peter yelled.

“Didn’t do it fer you, that’s fer sure, I jus’ didn’t wanna go lookin’ fer another lil’ kid to kidnap and train for thievin’. More trouble’n yer worth.”

Peter scowled. “What about my knife?”

“Ya mean my knife? Listen, boy, ya don’t deserve this knife. If ya can’t make a clean getaway, ya ain’t made a successful steal, which means this ain’t yer knife.”

“What? But I stole it! You can’t just take it from me!”

“Ya wanna bet? Now get outta here before I change my mind ‘bout eatin’ ya.”

Peter knew arguing about it was pointless, and if he kept pushing Yondu about it, he’d probably end up with an arrow through his heart. He turned around and stomped off, leaving Yondu shaking his head at the close call they’d just managed.

Yondu would never show weakness in front of the kid, but he was secretly relieved they were able to leave the planet unscathed. He pulled the knife out of his pocket, and had to admit the kid had taste. He weighed the knife in his hand, as he tried to think of a way he could get it back to the boy without losing his pride.

#yondu #yondu udonta #peter quill #guardians of the galaxy #gotg #my writing #prompt request #for danvssomethingorother

55 notes · View notes

whistlekick · 6 years

Text

Sifu Glen Doyle is a martial arts practitioner and instructor. He is a former Kung Fu champion and practices Irish Martial Arts.

There’s a sense of comfort that you get right away when you cross over certain martial arts…

Sifu Glen Doyle – Episode 360

Learning how to fight is sometimes instilled into us on a very early age. Sifu Glen Doyle learned boxing as soon as he began speaking because of his father. Later on, he would turn into martial arts such as Kung Fu and stick fighting. What makes Sifu Doyle special is that he practices Irish Martial Arts traditions that are part of his roots. Sifu Glen Doyle has a lot to tell so, listen to find out more!

[app_audio src=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/whistlekick/360-glen-doyle.mp3″%5D

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Show Transcript

You can read the transcript below or download here.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Hello and welcome to this show. This is whistlekick Martial Arts Radio episode 360. Today, I’m joined by Sifu Glen Doyle. My name is Jeremy. I’m the founder at whistlekick. I’m your host on the show. And martial arts is a huge part of my life. So huge that it became my career. You can check out all the things that we work on at whistlekick. Many of those things, I am personally involved in over at whistlekick.com. Don’t forget. If you buy something, use the code PODCAST15. Save this 15%. It’s a thank you from us to you and honestly, lets us know that this podcast is worth doing. Because let’s face it. This is a business and we’ve got to make some money somewhere because I need to it. Not a lot but I do need to eat something.

Here we are, 360 episodes in and we’re still finding new martial arts to talk about. Did you know that there were Irish martial arts traditions? Well, today’s guest not only has family lineage through Irish martial arts but also something that most of us would consider more contemporary, more conventional in that Kung Fu. So, we not only get to talk about each of those arts but the contrasts, the similarities between the two, and the wonderful story that unfolds as Sifu Doyle talks about his life and his navigation through both of those arts and what it meant to him and his family. So, hold on, listen, and learn something. Sifu Doyle, welcome to whistlekick Martial Arts Radio.

Glen Doyle:

Thank you very much. Happy to be here.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I’m happy to have you here. Now, listeners, this was one we were chatting just before we started the episode that I think we were both afraid that this might be the episode that didn’t happen. There were a number of power outages on both ends. It was crazy. I’ve had issues with losing power here. I’ve has issues with guests losing power there. I don’t think we’ve ever had an episode scheduled for a time where both sides lost power.

Glen Doyle:

I like to respond like an echo.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Awesome. But we’re here now and I appreciate your flexibility in rescheduling. I’ve been looking forward to talking to you.

Glen Doyle:

My pleasure, my pleasure.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Great. Well, let’s start the way we start a martial arts show. We need some background. We need some basics. We need to learn how to make a fist and punch as it were with who you are. So, how did you find martial arts?

Glen Doyle:

Well, I mean, I was more or less, not to sound melodramatic, but I was kind of born into it. My dad was a boxer. And he boxed for a number of years. Mostly when he was in the Canadian Armed Forces but he was always boxing. And so, he started me whether I wanted to or not. In 1969, when I was 4 years old, he put on the boxing gloves and I got my first lesson. And it went on till however long dad was alive. He started me boxing and then in 1972, he started me in stick fighting. And then I wanted to branch out and learn other styles and stuff. So, in and around 1981, I branched out and joined a Chinese Kung Fu club in Toronto. And I stayed with that club until my Sifu, Sifu Lore King Hong, passed away in 2008. So basically, from 1969 to present has been my martial arts path. But I got basically involved in it with my dad started punching at me and didn’t give me a choice but to punch back, so.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Wow. All right. So, you’ve got a couple of different things going on, a few different martial arts.

Glen Doyle:

Uh-hum.

Jeremy Lesniak:

And one of the things that I find personally fascinating is how people start to relate those back to each other.

Glen Doyle:

Right.

Jeremy Lesniak:

So, what does that look like for you?

Glen Doyle:

Well, I mean, you could… If I go into boxing and if comparing boxing in Gung Fu, a punch is a punch. No matter how you do it, it’s just going to be a different way of explaining with or a different way of executing it. But the end result is the same – you’re trying to hit something. The comparisons that I always was a little more interested in was the stick fighting style that my dad taught me was from our family. It’s an Irish stick fighting style. And when I branched out and explored the other martial arts, be into Gung Fu and then I dabbled in some Filipino stick fighting, I just thought it was really interesting the geographically, the two countries – Ireland and Philippines – are so far apart. But when you put a stick in a hand, there’s going to be some principles that are going to be very similar and some are going to be completely different. So, I was always amazed at the way the footwork might be explained differently but the end result’s the same. And sometimes, the footwork looks almost the same. So, it reiterates and it just emphasizes to me that if you’ve got 2 legs and 2 arms or you’re basically a human being, you’re only going to move a certain way so many times or a certain way so many different times and things are going to crossover. So, as a martial artist, when I branched out into other arts that weren’t culturally the same as mine, there was a nice kind of camaraderie built up in my mind right away. Because it was like, wow, this isn’t so different. I’m not in such a foreign land after all. This is great. And there’s a sense of comfort that you get right away when you crossover certain martial arts. When you find the similarities, it’s like you’re home but you’re not. You’re on the road but your home is… It’s like when you go travelling, you take a big suit case and you want to have a lot of your stuff around you even though you’re in a bizarre place or a different place because you have that bit of that comfort, because you’ve got some items from your home that make you feel a little more comfortable. And I think, when you crossover two different martial arts together, that familiarity is what makes you feel comfortable and allows you to really open your learning curve and really kind of accept the techniques more readily, more instinctively rather than just kind of forcing a square peg into a round hole. If that makes any sense.

Jeremy Lesniak:

It certainly does. I’ve spent a bit of time doing some Filipino stick work and I would imagine that 90% of the folks listening who have engaged in stick work have done it through some kind of Filipino Eskrima or Arnis, you know, Southeast Asian tradition.

Glen Doyle:

Uh-hum.

Jeremy Lesniak:

You said that you had done some sort. Are you able to relate to us the… I expect a lot of similarities but where are the differences?

Glen Doyle:

Well, I mean, the Filipino style that I dabbled in – when I say dabbled, please understand, I’m not professing that I studied it a long time or I’m really super-efficient

Jeremy Lesniak:

Sure, sure.

Glen Doyle:

But I dabbled in it and the fact that I did often on for a number of years because one of the instructors at the Kung Fu club that I was training was from Cebu City in the Philippines.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Uh-hum.

Glen Doyle:

And anytime he was teaching a class, if I had the time to do it, I would jump in and play around with it. It was called Arnis. It was… That’s crazy. Just falling out of my head now.

Jeremy Lesniak:

That’s okay.

Glen Doyle:

Lapunti Arnis De Abanico, there you go. Sorry. And Abanico, I believe, is fan style if I’m not mistaken. And it’s a single-hand stick fighting style. Which is the biggest difference between what I was taught with from dad which was two-handed. And the stick is a lot longer in the Irish system, a little heavier because the blackthorn is a heavier wood. Where the Filipino system is using the rattan. A lot of whirling strikes in the Filipino systems are very fast, explosive. And I found that I like the way that the multiple quick hits, the rapid hits in the Filipino system is something I really love. They were so different from the Irish stuff. So, I was like a kid in the candy store when I first played around with it, so.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Nice. It almost… You know, I have some Irish roots. In fact, my father lives to the south side of Cork. I’ve used some blackthorn sticks. They’re durable, they’re heavy. So, is the stick fighting tradition that you come from, that you’re passing on, is there some synergy there with bladed weapons?

Glen Doyle:

No.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Okay.

Glen Doyle:

The only connection to bladed weapons is… Basically, the Irish stick fighting came to be simply because of penal laws and whatnot. Irish citizens especially the peasants weren’t allowed access to weapons. A lot of Irish men fought in foreign armies in the 1700s or 1800s. And they learned fencing, they learned sword playing with foreign armies. So, when they came back, that’s all they had to drop on. But because they didn’t have access to bladed weapons, they used stick. And they had to adapt the slashing and stabbing motions for more thumping and striking. So, the only kind of influence in any kind of bladed weapon would be the way the system was approached. Because all, at one point, all Irish stick fighting systems for one-handed based on sword fight but with a stick in your hand. And then somewhere in my family line, my great great great great great uncle, I think it go back five or six generations, he was a pugilist and he decided to put two hands on stick. And the stick was then parallel to the ground, horizontal. And it changed the way we approach the stick fighting. So, any kind of access or comparison to bladed weapons kind of really disappeared when that happened. And now, the pugilist of the boxing influence kind of took over. It became a much more close quarter kind of thing. We had to get in close. Which when you have a stick, you want to keep the opponent on the end of your stick. So, you want to have them on that last six or eight inches for maximum velocity. And then here’s something my dad taught me where it’s like close in, close in. But I have this long stick why do I have to close in? But that would probably be the only… If I could really say any kind of bladed. But there’s no other weapons in the system I learned from my dad. It’s just the blackthorn. That’s it. No knives, no nothing else. So. Yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Okay. Interesting. I’m going to have to find some video. Do you have a video? Is there a video of this thing?

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. I have a bunch of stuff up on YouTube.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Okay, cool.

Glen Doyle:

Just the live stuff; me teaching some seminars. It’s not instructional.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Okay.

Glen Doyle:

It’s just in a collage fed to some music. I had a website for a while when… I had to get permission from my dad to teach it outside the family. And that was the whole story itself. And I had website up. It just had pictures on it. And I got a lot of emails and a lot of communicational people. You can’t tell much from a picture. You can only tell so much. And a lot of the feedback, I’m not going to go into it, was oh my god, this to this and I would do this and it was all this kind of stuff. And I just kind of let it roll off my back for a couple of years. And then I said, you know what? Maybe I’ll just put something I knew just so people can see the motion and the movement. And maybe that will help them understand the pictures they’re seeing. So, I put up a couple of videos. And it was the exact opposite type of feedback. I’ve got people like oh, that’s how it works. And it was definitely the right thing to do. Because you kind of got to see the style to understand it. And then now, I find that people are really… It really launches more questions but they’re more listening with excitement rather than derision.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Uh-hum.

Glen Doyle:

And it was all because I put a few videos up. So, I did that just so people can get a sense of how it looked and how it moved. And I find a lot of Filipino stick fighters actually are the most interested. They love watching it and they make their observations and similarities pop up and the differences. It’s usually a really nice interaction when I talk Filipino stick fighters. They usually have really interesting questions about certain techniques and the style, and how this came to be and how that can be. And then, of course, they’ll bring up wow, it’s very similar to what we do. And then it’s kind of like 2 kids talking over a couple of toys that they have that are very similar, right? So.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Yeah.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

And those are some of my favorite conversations with martial artists. And I think those conversations are more enlightening, more productive, more enjoyable when you start from a place of similarity.

Glen Doyle:

Of course. Yes.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Rather than a place of difference. And I mean, I can… I’m trying to think of something that I haven’t done martial arts-wise. Kung Fu might be the furthest from what I’ve done as a complete style. But I can sit down and I can talk with a Kung Fu practitioner and we can start from what do we have in common? We can have a lot of fun. We can maybe even share, spar, and have a good time. Or we can start from differences which tend to be philosophical and that doesn’t help anybody.

Glen Doyle:

No. Usually… Well, it sets the tone, right? Because I think when you come from a place of similarity, then the camaraderie is built right in. If you come from a sense of difference, there’s always this little underlying tone of are you saying your style is better?

Jeremy Lesniak:

Right.

Glen Doyle:

Because it’s so different? I mean, I’ve studied this. I know my style really well. Why are you saying yours is better? And it’s like, you’re not saying that but if you’re coming at them from the differences, people tend to lean towards that. It seems to be kind of human nature. Well, what’s wrong with my style? What do you mean your style’s different? What do are you saying? When you come at the other person from the point of wow, and we do this. It’s very similar to what you do. All of a sudden, they listen with their ears wide open rather than looking for reasons to be offended, right? That’s been kind of my take on it. And when I teach seminars, I always have my opening speech and I always say, I don’t denigrate or take away from any other style. And I always say that I’m saying that we do it this way. I’m not saying it’s better or worse than what you do. I’m just saying you’re different. And that seems to really actually set the tone for the seminar and I knock on wood. I haven’t had any issues at this point, so.

Jeremy Lesniak:

That’s great.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Good. We’ll make sure to link the YouTube channel over on the show notes for this. And for folks that might be new, if you came in, if this is your first episode, we put the show notes at whistlekickmartialartsradio.com. Now you, a few minutes ago, mentioned a conversation that you had to have with your father to get permission to teach this stick fighting style outside of the family. Would you be willing to share that?

Glen Doyle:

Sure, yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

What that was about?

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. Well, I mean, this system was only passed on through family. So, you had to have the surname Doyle to learn it. And they were very strict about that. In Irish traditions, oral tradition is very, very predominant in Irish culture. A lot of times it’s because the occupying forces wanted to kind of diffuse the culture, they wanted to stop the language. Anything to do with individuality or priding your country or where you’re from, they want to kind of take that away. You know what I mean? And so to preserve certain cultural aspects of the country, a lot of things were taught in secret or behind closed doors or secret meetings and whatnot. And that include language and music and whatnot. So, the stick fighting was no different and it was passed on father to son, through family. And if you didn’t have the last name Doyle, you didn’t learn it. And because the stick fighting stuff could differentiate between families. It could differentiate between counties or towns. So, you could have a town that have one stick fighting style. You could have a county that didn’t have the factions from like Tipperary and from Wicklow and Wexford and whatnot. You had the Yellow Bellies, you had the 18:01 There’s a bunch of names that you could… So, they would have a similar style. But anyway, so, ours was based on family name and it was passed on. My dad was very strict about it. When he taught it to me, we spend most of our weekends. He had a full-time job as an iron worker. So, he didn’t have a lot of time during the week. But on the weekends, we’d be doing the boxing and the sticks. And he would always reiterate, this is ours and keep to yourself kind of thing. And eventually, after being in the Kung Fu club for a number of time, my Chinese Kung Fu instructor, Sifu Lore, he was so open because he wanted to share his culture with everyone. And he was amazing that way. And it really rubbed off on me. So, I started saying to my dad, this is such a cool little system and I’m your only son and you’re teaching it to me. But if I walk down the street tomorrow and get hit by a car and get killed, it’s done. It’s gone. And that really bothered me. So, I started asking my dad in the early ’90s. Can I start showing some guys down at the club just some stuff? And he was adamant; no. And my dad… To give you a sense of my dad, to see and get his kind of mindset, the way he was, just a little capsule thing of his personality, he forged my granddad’s signature to join the Canadian military when he was 16. I lied about his age. And he spent his 17th and 18th birthdays on the frontlines in Korea.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Wow.

Glen Doyle:

And he summed up his personality with this – I’m going to keep it clean for the listeners…

Jeremy Lesniak:

For sure.

Glen Doyle:

And if it’s offensive to some people, I do apologize. But it was what he said to me. Because he was really a hard man and I always used to say to him, you’re really hard to people. You speak your mind so you come off rough. And he said, you have to understand me because I killed my first man before I ever slept with my first woman. And that kind of summed up my dad for me. And I mean, there’s no part of my… And you can edit that out, too, if it’s not appropriate. I have no…

Jeremy Lesniak:

No, absolutely not. I think that’s pretty important.

Glen Doyle:

It really set his tone for me. Because I can’t even wrap my head around that. No matter much I tried. That sense of what he must have went through at 16, 17, and 18 years of age. I always gave him a wide berth after that. I always try to step back and understand because he was very straight-edge. He was very straightforward and he said what he said. If you didn’t like it, he really didn’t care. So, going back to saying dad, I really want to kind of share it with some other guys at the club, just a few guys at the club, my closest friends. No. He was adamant. And then in late 1997 or early 1998, he got diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer. And he was only given a couple of months. And we spent all the time together. I was very, very fortunate that I got to do everything I needed to do for closure. And the fact that I got to have my last talk with him, I got to hold his hand, I was there when he took his last breath. I mean, the relationship that I had with my dad, if I wasn’t there, it probably would have driven me insane that I didn’t get the goodbye. So, I was very fortunate that I was allowed to share those times. And we talked about a lot of things. And the one thing I brought up again was I really wanted to teach this outside the family. I don’t have any children of my own. So, again, the style is endangered of just becoming extinct if I pass on and don’t teach anyone. And it took a lot of talking but finally, near our last talk, before he went onto morphine and couldn’t talk anymore because he’s in so much pain, he finally gave me permission. And if he had not, you and I would be having a completely different conversation right now and we’d just be talking about Kung Fu. So, yeah. I was very grateful that he eventually relented. Now, do I think he was happy about it? I couldn’t really say. But all I know is he did give permission. And whether it was his last act of love or not, I don’t know. But at the end of the day, he gave me his permission to teach it outside the family. And after, we had his service and I had his ashes and I spread his ashes over our land. We’re from Newfoundland originally. And I started to slowly get the style out there. I mean, I had an interview with Inside Kung Fu and I think it was 1995. And I got into the moment. The new journalist was really, really good. He really played me really well, for lack of a better term. And I blurted out the Irish stick fighting. And then I immediately stopped talking about it. But he didn’t mention it in the article. And the bullyrag that I got from my dad about that, let me tell you, that went on for a couple of years. So, I learned my lesson. But yeah. He basically gave me permission just before he passed away. So, there’s a sentimentality there when I teach as well. It’s like he’s in the room with me, which I love. And it helps me cope. I mean, he’s been gone since ’98. But it just doesn’t seem like… It seems like yesterday to me. I still think about him all the time. And the sticks is a way for me to kind of revisit our time together and stuff. So, there’s a real emotional sentimentality to me teaching it.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Now, when… Those of us that came up in… I guess I think of it as Asian traditions. When I think of the 24:25 Kung Fu style or Karate style, quite often, there’s a family dynamic.

Glen Doyle:

Uh-hum.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Some kind of splinter there. But I haven’t had the opportunity to speak with someone who came from that close-guarded family tradition of a martial arts. So, forgive me as I’m asking you some of these questions that I’ve always wondered knowing that you don’t speak for everyone. But you’re the best I have.

Glen Doyle:

Okay. No problem.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Why? Why was your father so resistant to people learning this family style?

Glen Doyle:

I think it was just the cultural way. It was just cultural and the way he was raised. Again, with it being guarded and not wanting to basically… Like self-preservation, really. I mean, you always want that. If everybody knows your style, then the percentages of being able to counter you go up.

Jeremy Lesniak:

True.

Glen Doyle:

And every system that you ever come across is one-handed. And now suddenly, you come up against this guy and all of a sudden, he starts one-handed and drops his stick into his other hand. And he comes at you from a pugilistic horizontal base stick pattern. It’s going to throw you. And I think, that element of surprise ups the success factor. So, I think it was a combination of it was tradition – it was the way he was taught. And my granddad was probably exactly my dad, a no nonsense Irish man. Do what I say and don’t question me. And I think that coupled with the fact that technically, you’d like to have a surprise or two in your back pocket. I think the combination of those two things in the formula is probably why he was still adamant. Because when I would explain to my dad how if Sifu Lore said, oh I only teach Chinese, I wouldn’t have been learning this amazing stuff that he was teaching me. I could see my dad understanding what I was saying. But the stubbornness of no, we don’t share it because of whatever reason. I could see there was a wall up for the longest time. And I’d be lying to you if I said I understood it. But it’s just I think it was, for lack of a better term, the programming. It was just the way he was raised. And he kept it without being… What’s the word? Not pure but he just didn’t want… He wanted it untainted. And when you get a style and you put it out into the public domain, it gets changed right away. People are going to adapt it to what they think the movement should be or the way they would do it or strategically how they think it works for them. And all of a sudden, the style ceases to become that movement or that way of executing a technique that’s been passed on for generation to generation. And it means he was big on not changing the techniques. Because, like my dad said, the system was… And I think he was talking about all fighting systems. But when he’s pertaining to our sticks, as he said, he was born on a battlefield. And through evolution and through faction fights, techniques that didn’t work, you got your head bashed in. You knew if they didn’t work, they didn’t get passed on. And he said, nowadays, everybody likes to change everything. But most of the people changing the styles aren’t haven’t fought to save their lives. It’s theory or they got padded equipment on. So, they’re not getting punished for their mistakes or it’s a game of tag. And again, I’m not coming down on anybody who spars or anything like that. It’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying what he said to me. And he said, why would you change something that has been proven? But because here in modern day society, now it’s like well, this is faster or flashier and whatnot. But it’s just a theory. I think, for of the thing he was worried at, if I put it out there into the general populace, it was going to get changed a lot. But it would still have our name on it. And he said, if someone changes it and the technique doesn’t work, it still got our name on it. And they go out and try to use the technique and they get their head bashed in, well our name takes the hit. So, that was kind of his kind of approach. And I think that’s one of the reasons he was really adamant aside from the fact that it was tradition that it was just taught to Doyles. And I think he wanted something to pass onto his son that was just for me, I guess. There could have been a father-son dynamic there that I wasn’t picking up on. Because I was all about this. I loved it so much, I just wanted to share it with everyone. A little bit of family pride, and pride is a double edged-sword.

Jeremy Lesniak:

It certainly is.

Glen Doyle:

And so I think that maybe he was trying to dissuade me from that. And I’ve been teaching it outside the family now since just after he passed away. So, it’s been about 20 years and all the stuff he said has happened. It’s been changed, it’s been this, it’s been that. So, he wasn’t wrong. I’ve had to lock away and discontinue associations with a lot of people because of what happened. That dad said would, sadly. So, I have to kind of give my hat to him because he wasn’t wrong. But on the other side of the coin is, I’ve met some amazing people that passed it on and they’re amazing. So, on the other side of the coin, I was right.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Right. Can you talk a little bit more about the stuff he was right about? I’m not asking you to name names or identify anything so clearly that people could infer names.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. No, no. I wouldn’t do that anyway. But it just… basically, what would happen is a lot of people would come under the guise of oh, I want to learn it the way you learned it. I wanted to stay traditional and I want to learn and then pass it on and whatnot. And really, all what they wanted to do was they wanted to up the 31:16 of their school by saying they offer Irish stick fighting. So, it was more of a business thing. And what they would do is, they would just take certain elements that they like from the system. And they would incorporate it to what they already taught. So, if I did a numbered system… So, let’s say I taught a sequence or there’s a technique that, let’s say, has five movements in a sequence – I’ll try to be really kind of basic here – and we go move it 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. And they take the movement. Well, movement 1 and 2 would be from the Doyle system and then movement 3, 4 and 5 would be from where that they learn. So, it would become a hybrid and it would get infused. And then what happens is it started to… Then the people, they taught would then change it a little bit when they start it. So, two or three lessons down the road, it didn’t even look anything like what I have taught them. Yet it still had our family name on it.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Right.

Glen Doyle:

And you’ll see it. If you search Doyle stick fighting, you’ll find a number of videos on YouTube aside from mine and you’ll see. If you have martial arts eyes, you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. And I don’t deny anybody that I trained. If someone wrote to me and said, blah, blah, blah, says this and I will not lie. I’ll say yup, he learned under me. But I will also say, but he has changed it a little bit. So, the stuff he’s teaching is influenced or has a flavor of what I taught. But it’s more of what they’ve done to hybridize it. So, I’m very honest but I don’t deny anybody I’ve ever worked with. Even if I no longer teach them, I will still say yup, they learned under me. They came to a seminar. I’m not going to cut off my connection to them that way because I don’t think that’s fair. They did put in the time. I just want to try to keep the style out there the way it was taught to me. So, if somebody comes to me or goes to somebody and wants to learn what was taught back in Ireland, hopefully, they can find somebody who does that. Not somebody’s version of a version of version 33:37

Jeremy Lesniak:

Makes complete sense.

Glen Doyle:

Because some people want that. They want that authentic style. Some people really do. And others are fine with learning the hybrid stuff. They’re fine with it and that’s all fair to them. I have no problem with that. But when your name’s attached to it, when your family… And again, because of the sentimentality and emotional connection to my dad, I won’t lie. There’s a little chip on my shoulder about it. Some days it bothers more than others. But I’ve learned to live with it now. And now, when I teach, I’m very particular hen I teach one-on-one in person. I just started doing an online course on video. I’m going to test that out and see how that plays out. But I don’t want to… Because of a couple of bad experiences, I don’t want to just say I’m not teaching anyone. Because that defeats the purpose as well. I don’t think that’s fair to people who want to learn it. So, I’m trying to find that. It’s like you’re trying to walk that tightrope, right? And you’re going to have to make some concessions which I learned that I had to. And at the same time, every once in a while you’re going to find that one or two or three or four people that are just going to take it the way it was given to you and they’re going to treat it that way. And they’re going to make sure it stays authentic and how it was passed in. And those are the victories that I take. And then all the other ones, I’ve got to spend some time with different people and different personalities and I choose to take the positive away rather than the negative. Because if I keep the negative, man, I’ll just be the grumpiest person in the world. And I don’t want that. So.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I get it. I get it. Now, I can completely see what you’re talking about. It makes a lot of sense.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. I mean…

Jeremy Lesniak:

The idea that it’s not just a martial art. It’s your lineage. It’s your tie to your father and so many things. And I don’t think anyone else is going to fully embrace that even if they intellectually understand it.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. It’s a… It’s tough to put into words. And when it first started to get changed and whatnot, I was livid. And I have the Irish temper like everybody else in the family. My initial reactions were very cutting off the nose to spite my face kind of thing. And then I learned that that’s not going to do anything and I have to kind of adapt and take more of a philosophical approach to it. Just see where they were coming from and walk a mile on their shoes just to kind of wrap my head around it. And then it kind of eased the blow a little bit. If that makes any sense.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Sure does.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Now, I’m sure that you almost have walls up to make sure that the Kung Fu is not influencing the stick fighting. But I’m guessing that you don’t have the same rule go in the other way. So, how does the stick fighting influence your Kung Fu?

Glen Doyle:

Again, going back to the beginning when we started talking, the thing about the stick and the Kung Fu, it was all about the similarities. But also, the way I teach the sticks, my dad was very… He taught what he felt like that day. He had a system. He had an agenda of how to teach it but it wasn’t so evident. Like I think he would get me to go over some stuff that he taught me the week before and they based on what I did incorrectly or what I did correctly, that would shape what we work on that day. When I started to teach it, I found that the way I taught it was very much influenced by the way I learned Kung Fu. Meaning, you learn your stances. You learn your foundations, boom, boom, boom, boom. When my dad taught me, I got stances and whatnot. But he got me into the stick punches, then he got me into what the hand was doing. And I know I’m using a lot of terms that people are kind of not going to understand because they don’t 38:05 the style. But he got me chasing the stick and crashing the gates and all these things. But I think, if he had more of a system in place, I probably would have learned it quicker because it took a while. Because, I mean, I was only 7 years old when I started, right? But I find that the Kung Ku influenced me in the way I taught the stick. Because I, for a lack of a better word, I systematized it in the fact that I did stances fist, all footwork, footwork, footwork. Because dad was really big on footwork. But I think, even though he was big on footwork, he kept throwing other things at me just to kind of keep the ball rolling. In his mind, I was learning at a pace that he was happy with. Whereas when I teach, if you don’t get your stances and you footwork, you’re not learning anything else. You’re going to be holding the stick forever doing nothing with it because it’s all going to be from the waist down. And that’s very Kung Fu – stances, stances, stances. Strong horse, strong punch – that’s it. That’s the two things you need before you do anything else. And I got to that point when I taught. The similarities between the footwork was very interesting because we have a thing in our style… Because it comes from fencing footwork initially. And then with the boxing influence, the heels are a little different and we step down heel-toe and then we really calmly drag the back leg when we were dancing. And I found… It’s so amazing because in the Hung Gar style of Gung Fu that I learned, it’s almost exactly the same. When you step from a cat stance, you step down heel-toe and then you pop back into your horse stance. And if I had to explain, the stepping in the Irish stick fighting and the stepping in Kung Fu, if I use heel-toe-drag, it works the exact same for both styles. So, the influence, if you want to use that term, was all about the similarities. The Kung Fu wouldn’t give influence anything technically in sticks. Because I wanted to make sure that the way it was passed onto me, I pass on to other people. So, I very evident about that. But I did use the way of explaining Kung Fu, the way that Kung Fu was taught to me, I did let that influence the way I explain the sticks. So, I hope I’m makings sense the way I put that out for you there. I have a tendency to be quite verbose and quite 40:50 And then at the end of the five minutes, people go, I didn’t understand a damn thing you just said. So.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Well, as you were talking, I’m doing it.

Glen Doyle:

Okay.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I’m taking those steps. And yeah, I can certainly see the similarities there. My experience with two-handed weapons is limited to Japanese style sword and very little. But the footwork there from what I was taught sounds very similar to what you’re describing, so.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Makes all kind of sense.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. But I’ll do, Jeremy, when we get off, I will send you some video links of me actually teaching.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Oh, perfect.

Glen Doyle:

Just for you. I’ll just send it for you.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Sure. I would watch them

Glen Doyle:

In that way, you can see what we’re talking about. I don’t think it’s going to… I think you’re getting what I’m saying but I think if you see the way I teach it, you’ll go oh, okay. So, I’ll do that for you. I know right now, the listeners are like what about us? But you get special treatment, so.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Well, I appreciate that. I’ve been doing all the work here, so.

Glen Doyle:

There you go.

Jeremy Lesniak:

You and I are doing the work. Listeners, they just get to enjoy all of this. Cool. All right. Well, when you look at this – how do I want to call it – this hybridized martial arts mindset that has become you and these various influences that you have.

Glen Doyle:

Yup.

Jeremy Lesniak:

It’s pretty clear how important your father was. I mean, he started you and gave you this foundation and you’ve added to it and expanded it. But what would you want to add on? If there was someone that you could train with that you haven’t, who would that be?

Glen Doyle:

You mean living or dead? Or just living?

Jeremy Lesniak:

Living or dead. Anywhere in the world, anywhere in time.

Glen Doyle:

My dad was very much influenced by Jack Dempsey.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Okay.

Glen Doyle:

So, I would say probably Jack Dempsey for a couple of reasons. One, because of my dad’s movement was very much like Jack Dempsey. Because he was a big Jack Dempsey fan and also because of the boxing. But also, Jack Dempsey was quite an interesting person because… I don’t know if a lot of people know this but I believe he was in the coast guard, if I’m not mistaken. Now, I could be mistaken about that. And if I am, I apologize. But I know he was in service in some point and I think it was the coast guard. But he taught a lot of self-defense stuff. It wasn’t just boxing. It was knees and elbows and whatnot. So, he was a very, very well-rounded. And I think he would just be an amazing person to train with. Simply because he’s almost what I would say a similar thing to what I do is that he’s got the boxing but then on the other side of the coin, he had the other fighting techniques that were, if you want to call them, street or a little more lower body and upper body. Because with the knees and strikes and the elbows and whatnot. So, I think he would be an amazing person to train with. I would love to talk to him about his mindset. Because he had that ever forward kind of attack. And when my dad used to teach the sticks, he’s always going to say that phrase – ever forward, ever forward. So, just on that alone, I think that would be my choice. I would love to go train with him and just to pick his brain and just to see how he saw the martial world, and see how he would approach it. So, that would be my answer.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Nice. I’m sure from your time training and travelling, teaching – whether it’s your own students or seminars – you’ve got a lot of stories. What’s your favorite one? It can be sad, it can be happy, it can be funny. I love the stories that martial artists have and that’s really the root of this show. It was I just want an excuse to get people to tell me their stories. So, what’s yours?

Glen Doyle:

Wow. Can I get a tone for the story? Do you want a story of me learning from someone or do you want me teaching someone?

Jeremy Lesniak:

The one that… So, here’s the set up. You and I are at a barbecue and we find out that we’re both martial artists.

Glen Doyle:

Uh-hum.

Jeremy Lesniak:

We’re sharing a beer, whiskey or whatever.

Glen Doyle:

Okay.

Jeremy Lesniak:

And I tell you about the ridiculous time that Bill Wallace kicked me in the ear and said some horribly inappropriate things.

Glen Doyle:

Bill Wallace kicked you in the ear, too?

Jeremy Lesniak:

Oh, yeah. And I cannot repeat what he said on the air because it’s that terrible. I’ll tell you after. So, there’s that story. And you’re trying to meet me or one up me with one of your ridiculous or fun or impressive stories from your time. So, what would that story be?

Glen Doyle:

Well, first of all, just let me say that I, too, have been kicked in the ear by Mr. Wallace. So.

Jeremy Lesniak:

It’s a great club to be in, isn’t it?

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. He… I was in Quebec at the Capital Conquest. I was teaching there and it was the first time I met him. He’s an amazing man, don’t get me wrong. But yeah. He just targeted me for the whole weekend. I don’t know what I did but he would not leave me alone. And the sick part of me kind liked the attention but man, it was an interesting thing. So, we have that to share, you and I. Just wanted to say that.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Well, that’s… I train with Mr. Wallace now.

Glen Doyle:

Okay. I don’t know if he remembers me. But if you say my name…

Jeremy Lesniak:

He probably does.

Glen Doyle:

… in Quebec Capital Conquest.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Yeah.

Glen Doyle:

You can see if here remembers me. He might not but.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I bet he does because I’ve seen his memory in action. And it is impressive. This is for you as well as everyone else listening, when he pulls someone up, he’s gotten very good over his years at identifying who’s going to be a great training partner or a great Uke. Someone who will play along, who has the right sense of humor but also has enough skill for him to work with in his demonstrations. So, it is an amazing compliment across multiple factors when he pulls you up.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. Oh, well that’s… I’ll take that.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Yeah. As you should.

Glen Doyle:

Man. I mean, there’s two stories that I’d love to tell only because I think they really shape me as the instructor that I am. So, maybe that is something you’re interested in. And it’s interesting because, like I said, I have my two main instructors. I have my dad and I have Sifu Lore. And I have kind of one story from each. So, would you like me to just pick one?

Jeremy Lesniak:

You can tell both.

Glen Doyle:

Okay. The first is my dad. And this was when I was young, and I never forgot this. Because I thought at that moment he was the meanest man in the world. And then looking back on it now, it’s an amazing thing. But I was in elementary school. I believe I was in grade 4, maybe grade 5, and for some reason… A little bit about me for people, because people don’t know me, my mom is like 4’11”. My dad was 5’3″. So, I’m 5’4″. I’m a giant in my family. But anyway, I was little. I was a really little kid. So, grade 4 or grade 5. And for some reason, this kid in grade 8 just didn’t like me and was giving me some grief after school. But I was fast, like I could run really, really fast. So, school ended. The bell ran and off I went. I live about 6 blocks from the school. So, I was full out sprint. Jesse Owens would be looking at me going, not bad. Like I was gone. And I got home and he couldn’t catch me. He was close but he didn’t catch me. I got in and my dad was home. He shouldn’t have been but he was home because he got rained out. Because, like I said, he was an iron worker. If the weather’s too rough, they don’t connect the beams up high. So, he was home early. I came in huffing and puffing. He asked me what happened. And I said, oh this boy at school wanted to beat me up but don’t worry, I got away. And without a word, he got up and grabbed me by the back of the head, took me outside where the bully was still there, made me stand up to this guy. And of course, I got my butt handed to me. But when my dad figured that I had enough, he stopped it and took me in. And I felt so betrayed and so angry that my dad would do that to me. And he just looked at me and said, you run today, you’re going to run tomorrow, you’re going to run for the rest of your life. No running. And in retrospect now, I think that was something that I took very, very literally. And it shaped me to who I am. Well, I hated it at that time. I think I’m probably the most grateful for that lesson and all the lessons he’s ever taught. So, that’s the story about my dad and not funnier or humorous but life-changing. And for Sifu Lore, do you remember in China when they had the Tiananmen Square stuff going on?

Jeremy Lesniak:

Oh, absolutely.

Glen Doyle:

Well, they had a big vigil in Toronto which is where I train, where the club is. And Toronto is interesting because it has a number of Chinatowns. So, not just one Chinatown. Toronto has a bunch of them. They kind of pop up. And the main ones aren’t Spadina and Dundas. And the old China town – and again, if people don’t know Toronto, this is not really going to be a good reference but it’s close to where city hall is. And it’s called Old Chinatown. And in the ’80s, it was slowly shrinking. And the big Chinatown about 10 blocks away in a place called Spadina and Dundas was going to be the main big Chinatown. But anyway, they were having a big vigil at the city hall for the Tienanmen Square. And the Chinese community, because our club was so involved in the Chinese community, they hired us to do kind of a crowd control. Because they were expecting a lot of people and they expected them to be passionate. So, we were there. I didn’t want to say security but that’s technically what we were, right? But we’re there just to make sure that nothing got out of hand. So, Sifu got us all together. We all went down. It was a lot of people there. It was a big, big gathering. Everybody had candles and whatnot. And so, at this point, I’m in my late teens or early 20s and we all were. We’re all like young studs, young bucks. So, we’re all faced around this one section and the speech has start. And there’s on guy in the crowd starts to get really passionate and wants to go up and speak. So, he tries to push his way up to the stage. And Sifu’s sitting there and he loved his Tim Horton’s coffee. It’s a rule in Canada, you have to love your Tim Horton’s coffee. But anyway, he was having his coffee. And this guy was really, really passionate. He’s like, I want to go up there and speak. He’s saying this in Chinese. I didn’t know what he was saying but I could tell by his body language that he was getting very, very aggressive. So here, all of us, these young bucks full of piss and vinegar, we do Kung Fu, we’re awesome, we’re going to just… We’re just going to be right out of the movie. We’re going to take care of this. People walked up to the guy and at this time, he would probably be late 70s, maybe early 80s. Sifu Lore walked up and he has his coffee in one hand. And he’s like, look, you can’t go up. And the guy just made this rushing motion. And to be honest, to this day, I blinked and Sifu threw this uppercut out of nowhere. Just enough to knock the guy down. And it diffuses the situation. It was an amazing thing because he just gave him this uppercut out of nowhere. The guy went down. And while the guy is falling, Sifu’s trying to explain to him look, you can’t go up there. He’s still trying to explain to him after he just knocked him. So, anyway, it diffused to take the guy away and whatnot. And we’re standing there feeling like the most useless people in the world. Our Sifu who’s not exactly a young person took care of this guy. All these young guys are standing around, didn’t know what happened. And we looked at… When we went out, one of us said, Sifu, we’re so sorry that we didn’t do it. And he goes, ah, you know, I’m not a master. I’m not a Kung Fu master. And we were looking at him like, what are you talking about? And he goes, I spilled my coffee! If I was a real Kung Fu master, I wouldn’t have spilled a drop. I’m not a master. He was shaking his head. And I found that to be the funniest thing because it really set the tone for Sifu. Because when I joined, and it was a traditional Kung Fu club, he told me call him Jimmy. His English name is Jimmy Lore. His Chinese name is Lore King Hong. And I did it for about a year and it just didn’t feel right so I started calling him Sifu. But his attitude towards titles really affected me. So, even though I have a Sifu title, I don’t really make people call me that. And I think I get it from that story. Just because he was so innocently casual about ah, I’m not a master. I spilled my coffee. I just… I close my eyes and I can still see it happening. And it really impacted me as a martial arts instructor because his honesty about it was humorous. But at the same time, it was such a raw honesty that I think it really affected me as an instructor where I didn’t get so hung up on the titles, and I didn’t get so hung up on being perfect. I got more about the execution. And if a technique is meant that you don’t get punched and you do it but it’s not the way that you learned it but you still don’t get punched, it’s a good technique. It worked. So, I kind of used that story to justify or explain how I kind of approach sometimes when I teach. Where if, in the heat of the moment, something changes, at least it still worked for you.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Right.

Glen Doyle:

So, yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Those are two great stories.

Glen Doyle:

Oh, okay.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Yeah.

Glen Doyle:

I don’t know if that’s good enough.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Knocks it out of the park. That’s what I was looking for.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah, yeah. So, one was a life lesson for me and the other was a lesson on humility and casualness of the additive of the title, I guess. You could class it as56:13

Jeremy Lesniak:

Undoubtedly. Now, what’s keeping you motivated? What are you looking forward to as you look out over life? I’m assuming you’re not planning to stop training.

Glen Doyle:

No. I had to stop training for a number of years in 2012, 2013. It’s nothing to do with training. It’s an out of training injury. It’s more hereditary. But my shoulders, I have this thing called frozen shoulder. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of that.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I have.

Glen Doyle:

I got it in my left shoulder and then I got it in my right shoulder. But I have it really bad. But it is genetic. My dad had it in his elbow. He got frozen elbow when he was older. And what would happen was, it came out of nowhere. I went to every person you could think of and no one really knows what causes it. They have theories. But I woke up with it one day… I just woke up with it. Then I had it. I went to bed feeling fine, woke up the next day and my left shoulder, I could barely lift my arm. And it was really debilitating and I couldn’t teach. So, I had to… I thought, actually, my teaching was over. I thought my career was over because I couldn’t do much with it. And then they say it can last anywhere from a month to two years. And mine lasted the full two because my body is that way. But it started to loosen up. I mean I went to rehab and stuff and it did help a bit. But teaching was really tough. And then as the left one was getting better, it actually moved over to my right. I had to deal with that on my right. So, I only told recently… Like in the last year and a half have I really started teaching again. So, I didn’t do a lot of physical stuff because I couldn’t move. So, I gained a lot of weight and I’m still happy with where my weight is. So, what I’m looking forward to now is my shoulders are… They’re still an issue but I can teach again and whatnot. So, I’m looking forward to using the teaching and my training to try to get back to where I feel a little healthier. So, I’m using it as my motivation but also as my tool to reinvent myself at this age. I’m 53 now. So, I’m just trying to get to a point where I can still teach, do things. But also, just to improve my overall mobility and get my health back to where I want it to be. I mean, I’m not in poor health by any means. There are people on this planet way worse off than me and I feel blessed that I am where I am. But I’m going to use what I learned and what I teach and whatnot to try to use that as the catalyst to get me back to where I want to be physically. So, that’s probably where I am right now. And it’s been frustrating. It’s really a test of my patience and you really try to look at yourself in a different light. When you think something you’ve had for so long which just suddenly got taken away from you. Because I thought it was gone. I thought my martial art career was done. I really did and I had to embrace that. And it was a pretty dark time for a couple of years. I mean, I’m still coming out of it. I’m still a little… I still have some dark days. When I can’t move like I used to, it’s frustrating. But there’s motivation in frustration if you know where to look. And that’s kind of where I’m looking now. So, that’s what I’m looking forward to in the future. It’s just to get myself back. And also, I haven’t given up on wanting to pass my family’s stick fighting style on to the world. I still want to do that. And that, again, is why I started the online course. Because it allows me to teach on my good days when my shoulders are really working well and whatnot. Because doing live seminars is great but every once in a while, I get up to do a seminar in some bad days. It’s a bad shoulder day like I call it.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Yeah.

Glen Doyle:

And it’s like, ugh. Because when I go to teach a seminar, I’m all about the people taking the seminar. They’re giving up their time for me. They’re allowing me to step into their minds and move things around. The way they move physically, the way they move tactically – that is a huge honor. And I never want to misrepresent myself and I never want to take that time with them and not maximize it out so they’d benefit. So, if I book a seminar and then on that day, my shoulders aren’t working for me and they only get 50% of what I can do or they only get half of me demonstrating and showing how it’s supposed to work, I feel like I let them down. And I don’t want to do that. So, I think that’s probably why I came up with the online thing. Because I can tape it, I can make sure it’s edited in the best way to show the technique, the best way I did it. So, they get that sense. Because I do it like a seminar, obviously, but I’m talking to the camera. But they get to at least see everything I’m talking about. Where in a live seminar, I’m kind of having a bad day, sometimes I have to crossover stuff. And I just don’t think that’s fair. People are giving their time and their physical availability and, again, allowing me to step into their mind and influence the way they move. They’ve got to be getting the best part of me, right? So, that, I’m not there yet. So, that’s why I really tapered back my live seminars right now. Because I’m not into place physically with my shoulders just yet where I know I can show up and be ready to rock and roll for their benefit. Because, again, I’m all about the people taking the seminar. Because I want them to walk out of that seminar going, that was the best three hours, four hours I’ve ever spent. I’m not saying that from an egotistical thing where I want them to tell everybody that. I want them to feel that.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Okay, yeah. I get it. Without going too deep, I’ve experienced not that injury but certainly some injuries that have limited my ability to present information. And I know how frustrating that can be.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

When it’s keeping you from multiple goals, your own training, and the ability to pass on your knowledge. I understand that.

Glen Doyle:

Oh, yeah. You shake your fist to the heavens quite a few times.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Now, you mentioned this stuff that’s coming but you don’t have a website. So, what do people do if they want to keep tabs on you and sign up for this course when it’s ready or keep up on where your seminars are going to be?

Glen Doyle:

Well, I have a Facebook Group. There’s a Doyle Irish Stick Fighting Facebook Group and everybody kind of joins that. And anything I have coming up, I make an announcement there. I do have a website. My website is for me as a whole because I’m writer as well and I really embraced it a lot when my shoulders weren’t working so well. So, I write scripts and stuff and I do films and whatnot. So, my website is more of a catchall but there is a page on there that people can write me and contact me and keep tabs on what I’m doing martial arts-wise. I’m a terrible businessman, okay? And I’ve always have been… I’ve lost so much money teaching. I’m surprised my wife is still with me but she’s an angel. And she puts up with so much.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I apologize for laughing.

Glen Doyle:

No.

Jeremy Lesniak:

You’re not the only one.

Glen Doyle:

No, I know.

Jeremy Lesniak:

There’s something about martial artists that inherently, we just want to share.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

We just want to give it away. We don’t want to do it for money.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. And I’ve given a lot away. But you know what? I come from that honestly because, again, going back to Sifu Lore, when I joined Jing Mo in 1980… It was ’81 crossover. It was in the winter of 1981. It was what we call a Dungeon Club. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that term. But the only way you join is by knowing someone. It’s the old style Chinese club. There’s no advertising. If you know a member, you… Now, I came across it by accident. And I was, again, it was near city hall. I was with some friends down at city hall and I’ve been looking for at martial arts. As usual, I know it sounds really, really stereotypical but I saw a Bruce Lee movie. And I said, wow, I want to do what that guy does. I really want to see what it is. So, I did some research and I found that he did a thing called Kung Fu. So, I said, okay I’m going to try and find Kung Fu. So, I was actively looking for Kung Fu clubs in Toronto and all the ones that I visited, I just… You know when you just don’t feel it? I just wasn’t feeling it. I went to visit all of them and I just wasn’t’ feeling it. So, I was kind of oh, maybe the Kung Fu is not what I’ll do. Maybe I’ll try Taekwondo or an Aikido. There’s a bunch of clubs. Toronto had so many to choose from. So, anyway, I was down at city hall with some friends. I was there to try to impress a girl which I failed miserably. And I was going home and I was cutting through this parking lot to get a street cardio home. And from the 2nd floor fire escape, this fire door was open and I heard all of this clanging and banging and this ruckus. And it sounded like a martial art class because people are making noise and whatnot. So, I was like there shouldn’t be a club here. There’s no markings on the building, there’s nothing. But it was at the 2nd floor that there was a fire escape. And it’s not the kind that you have to pull out. It was just stairs, just metal stairs. So, I just walked up and took a peek in. And I saw all these guys using these weapons. Some guys were 1:07:06 a heavy bag, some guys were doing hand forms and stuff and I kind of peeked in. And Sifu Lore was sitting, watching everybody and he spotted me. And he’s like, hey, what are you doing? I was just startled. I said, sorry I heard what I thought was a martial art class and I was just peeking in. And he told me to come in. And he made me sit down and he made every one of his students do a form for me and show what he taught. I mean, you understand I was in my teens. My hair was long, I look like a punk, really. For lack of a better term. And I couldn’t believe that he made all the students do a form for me and I was sold. And then I said I want to join. So, I showed up the next day and I was like… The average price back then when I looked at all the other clubs, again, this was in the ’80s, it was about $65 to $70 a month to be a member. And he charged me $10. And I couldn’t believe it. I’m like, okay. So, I gave him $10 a month. I trained, I went… It was open every day, seven days a week, from 5 AM to 10 PM everyday. Except on weekends, it was noon to 5 PM. But 5 AM to 10 PM on weekdays. I went everyday, didn’t miss a day for six months. It was insane – the amount of training. And then I have finished my first hand form and we were doing a demo, a show for… I forgot what it was for, some event somewhere in Chinatown. And Sifu asked me to do my form that I just learned. And I was said sure, I’ll do it. So, that was six months in. So, the next day after doing the show, I came in and I came to pay him. And he goes, no, you’re doing so much for me now. You don’t pay no more. So, my entire martial art education, my entire martial art Kung Fu education, cost me $60. So, I’ve come by the giving it away for free, honestly, because I trained with that man till 2008. So, $60 is what I payed for my entire Kung Fu education. It’s ridiculous.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Sounds like you got a good deal.

Glen Doyle:

Yeah. If you calculated the hours of training, I don’t even think… It’s like $0.001. Per hour, I don’t even know what it would be. But yeah. So, I come across it honestly in that regard. Sorry that I went off some tangent there. But I thought I would share that with you because it was the way I was… It was my experience with Kung Fu. He was such a generous man. And as soon as I started doing shows, he was like, okay. You’re sweating for me now. You don’t have to pay no more. So, I’m sure that he would giggle at me telling that story. But yeah. It was always tough for me. When I first started teaching, even when I taught women self-defense and whatnot. It was so hard for me to take their money. It almost felt criminal because I was so used to just teaching.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Yeah.

Glen Doyle:

But you got overhead. You’ve got to pay the bills. The thing with Sifu, because he was so big in the Chinese community, he didn’t pay for the space. They just gave it to him. The Chinese communities then. So, he had no overhead. So, it was a little different for him. But you don’t kind of factor that in when you’re kind of learning. You’re just wow, I got all these for $60. And now, I’m charging people all this money to teach what I learned for $60. There’s a little bit of guilt there. But I got over it eventually.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I don’t know if I agree with that.

Glen Doyle:

Well, maybe I didn’t. But as far as my…

Jeremy Lesniak:

Maybe mostly, halfway.

Glen Doyle:

As far as my wife’s concerned, I’ve got no work, okay? Between you and me.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Okay. All right. I won’t tell. I promise. This has been a lot of fun. I’ve really enjoyed getting to talk to you today and totally worth the wait to reschedule. So, again, thank you for your flexibility.

Glen Doyle:

Thank you so much.

Jeremy Lesniak:

And I want to ask just one more kindness if I would.

Glen Doyle:

Sure.

Jeremy Lesniak:

What parting words would you offer up to the folks listening today?

Glen Doyle:

Well, I would say… I’m almost paraphrasing my dad to a degree but not so much. If you’re taking a martial art, it comes from somewhere. I understand that the current state of mind is new is better, everything needs to be updated. But through evolution and actual life and death experiences, those techniques you’re learning have been passed on for a reason. And they belong there because they earned the right to be there. So, maybe just respect the past so much. Don’t be into it in an all-fire hurry to change things. Maybe just see how you can adapt them. And the other thing is, don’t be just a fighter; be a warrior. And that’s the one thing that my dad and Sifu Lore, they said it in different ways but they said the same thing. A fighter is someone who fights to keep themselves safe or to overcome their opponent. But a warrior not only trains for self-preservation but also fights for those who can’t fight for themselves. And when you’re a martial artist, you’re taking on a responsibility from the ages before you, from the generations before you. So, try to be a warrior and always remember that there’s people out there that can’t fight for themselves. If you have the opportunity to do it in a safe legal way, always try to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves. Because it comes with the territory of being a martial artist. Maybe it sounds a little cliché but I think that advice has really kind of rested in my heart. And so, I’d probably say that as my words of wisdom, I guess.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I bet you could tell I had a ton of fun talking to Sifu Doyle. I mean, what a great guy. What great stories. And how powerful it is that he gets to pass on something he loves that is both martial arts and his family? I’ll admit. I’m a bit jealous. Thank you sir for coming on the show today. You can find show notes with a bunch of photos and notes and links and other cool stuff at whistlekickmartialartsradio.com. If you hit whistlekick.com, you can sign up for the newsletter, you could make a purchase. And don’t forget the code PODCAST15 to save 15%. Uniforms, gears, shirts, sweatshirts, sweatpants, water bottles, training journal – there’s a bunch of stuff. I just added a bunch of stuff last night. And if you want to just kind of follow all the other stuff that we’re doing, social media – YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. We are @whistlekick. My direct email address, [email protected]. We keep it simple. And I thank you for your time today. Thanks for coming by, for giving me an opportunity to host this show. Until next time. Train hard, smile, and have a great day.

Episode 360 – Sifu Glen Doyle Sifu Glen Doyle is a martial arts practitioner and instructor. He is a former Kung Fu champion and practices Irish Martial Arts.

#Canada #Irish Martial Arts #Kung fu

2 notes · View notes