#im also not super hungry
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im hungover and i want waffles pretty please
#too sick to cook them#😔😔#im also not super hungry#but i didn't eat a lot yesterday#so i gotta take better care of myself today#LAME#jkjk#not mlm#dantes talking again
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Day 5. Firsts / Flirting 🫧
#signalis#signalis adler#signalis falke#adlr#fklr#falklerweek2024#this was based off of an older doodle i still find funny#<- shes trying her best ok#anyways#while im not the happiest with these colors i had a blast drawing this hehe 🎵 i especially like how i drew falke here :)#shes goofy#also patting myself on the back for drawing adlers face at an upwards angle because its like super hard for whatever reason …#yay!!! yipee!!!#now im going to go eat because im so hungry *shrivels up* i got too caught up in the falkler grind#myth.art
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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace
extras below the cut
sketch
closeups on my favorite panels
bonus: adios
#doodles#kingdom hearts#roxas#axel#olette#aromantic#asexual#aroace#do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel#ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you#also not tagging soriku and namixi#i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so#anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette#i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette#so let me clarify about this comic#im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before#im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts#thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes#im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while#anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive#sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow#this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled#drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024#btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately#schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time#i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times#alright i think thats it bye now
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When a test of a prince's taste backfires horribly. Or, how Alisaie gave herself psychic damage for not realizing this man may not act like how she imagines and she's suddenly being thanked for giving the worst food on the star to him.
(or, even, indirectly giving Meteor and Tsukiko psychic damage as Meteor refuses to let Zenos eat that god forsaken bread and has to hold him back like a misbehaving cat away from it.)
#ffxiv#sketch#comic#zenos yae galvus#alisaie leveilleur#alphinaud leveilleur#adventurer zenos#zenos- who undoubtably hasn't had a lovingly cooked meal in ages- tastes tataru's (HQ) cooking for the first time and inhales it#and alisaie- having to watch this man scarf down THE affront to the gods not realizing he was -very hungry- and -very drained-#im excited to write more about zenos' relationship with food (mainly him not eating anything unless he has to for any reason)#the concept that this man is a two legged apex predator has always stood out to me#so I wanted the first thing in terms of change for him to be him losing his numbness- food being the beginning of it#but also the struggle of Tsukiko and Kukuti trying to prevent the giant depressed super soldier from taking the easy way out of a meal#I also just enjoy writing the dissonance Alisaie has over how she views zenos and how zenos actually is#(also hehe I like the concept that Zenos can stomach archon loaf and the WoL cant)#I love being an omnicrafter LMAO#this also takes place not long after the return comic just for reference
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i'm not gonna get into this whole thing because i don't think getting like insanely outraged is all that helpful and i think just waiting to hear more is best but yeah this sucks and i hope they work on their organization structure because clearly it fucking sucks
#bell.txt#discourse#i cannot say im surprised i never thought it was super well-organized but it does still blow#also the way people always seem so hungry for stuff like this REALLY bothers me#like y'all seem desperate to grandstand about it and i dont think that does anything for anyone atm#but yeah it's upsetting and i hope they fix things
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Dreamt I was eating the most delicious plate of gyoza anyone had ever had and then I woke up heartbroken that I was not in fact eating it. Went back to sleep and dreamt it was cheese day and it was 40% off all cheese anywhere and dream me was like Wow. 40% off all cheese anywhere.
#40% sale isnt even that exciting cmon. also im not actually that crazy a cheese person so#regardless#ive been prone to having super horrible nightmares throughout my life but this thing lately where i just dream im eating something delicious#and then wake up and theres nothing delicious is worse bc now im just disappointed and hungry
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i love dnd..i love playing heavy utility/support/backfield and i love having three to six attacks in a turn and an insane ac. at heart im a support player ill get my hands on whatever we're missing in a group
#looks at a druid a fighter and a bard fighter. okay cleric time.#i LOVE playing cleric turns out.#though abjuration wizard is still super super fun its a different flavor of support#it's not buffs it's 'i am going to transfer literally all that damage to myself and war caster style succeed my witchbolt concentration'#doing insane amounts of damage while taking damage (+ with temp hp and then just a lot of hp. im taking the tough feat as soon as possible)#aabria iyengar was right these abjuration wizards are craaaazy. but war domain clerics also fuck hard#my abj wiz is very much an experiment in 'what if someone who is not at all suited to this life tries to adapt as well as she can'#the point is that she isn't a cleric. do u understand. she's not a cleric and that's the point it's the. hbbbgbfhb. she's out here#functioning as a combat medic on some aasimar features + healing kits/potions + arcane ward. Look At Me#i also really enjoy playing nonreligious characters in these worlds where deities 100% exist not in a 'fuck the gods' way but in#a way somewhere between 'i'm all i need' and 'i called and no one answered' and 'may or may not go on an insane power hungry spiral and#try to get a touch of godhood' which is in part very due to my own agnostic and people-loving heart and 'haha what if i icarused this girl'#a resentful caution towards gods an immense respect towards religious companions and 'when your god isn't here to help. i will be'#anyway REACTION arcane ward you don't take damage im fine. next turn reaction shield ward's back up. the thing is.#she will drive her hp down. the ward isn't much like it goes past that temp hp. it's 14hp that shit goes down and carries to her hp#but it never drops. any leveled spell puts hp back into the ward. a 1st lvl shield puts it at 2hp and she can use it again#she is not suited for these conditions but my god it is fun to watch. i care her.#i explained that subclass feature to a player that's not in that campaign and said. like. yeah she can take damage. when her ward drops to#0 it carries to her. any leveled abj spell puts it back up. and she can use it and drive her hp down again.#do u understand what i am explaining to u! do you get it! she is and has always been a punching bag!#she was a very valuable asset to the army and the group she was drafted! into. because when she's there. people just don't fucking go down#aside from her. aside from her. AAAAH. she's so cool. she is very smart i am still riding the high of critting every turn w witchbolt and#reacting to ward a party member against a crit that would have dropped him by taking the hit herself. and she didn't break concentration#badass
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x
#im worried something is wrong w me :/ like. medically. seriously#i've been feeling really tired for months now. my hair is thinner and flat. my back has been hurting? ive been super thirsty constantly#constantly hungry too... urgh#im worried it's diabetes or. like. worse? like cancer💀💀💀💀💀#delete later#ive also been like. quite stressed so! yknow! it could be anything#im most worried about diabetes tbh :/// it runs in a part of my family and im matching quite a few symptoms#i got an appt w my GP for monday to request a full panel bloodtest + diabetes check so :///#yeah#hopefully im fine!!#but yeah :/#sjonnie.sad
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It is a really weird feeling to be like. Sooooo happy with how life is going and really glad for everything thats going on
But also so tired you dont wanna do anything but lay down and cry xD
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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BIG gummy worm for baby Bean
#tarantula#caribena versicolor#spiders#dead bugs#her colors look so fucking pretty rn these dont even do her justice#she took this prey so lazily also flskjdfhj just kinda felt it for a minute before slowly striking#im p sure it's the biggest food she's ever been offered#it was just slightly bigger than i rly wanted to feed her but u cant be super picky with 75% off hornworms#there was a tiny one in there as well which i'd love to give sprout. IF she would stop hiding#but anyway she honestly hasnt eaten as much as i'd have liked since her molt#and hornworms are of course super high in moisture#so that's rly good for her#i'm hoping she's having a lovely little spider time enjoying her feast#in a couple days when she's not hungry and also done eating i might try handling her#we'll see#baby: bean#ALSO she's finally started webbing up a good convenient cave for herself in the top corner :`)#so much easier to get food to than her previous hide near the bottom between some leaves
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do i order food and have a proper meal or do i eat cold dry unsalted leftover fries so i dont spend any money tn
#bee buzzes#im not like super hungry but i SHOULD eat probably#we only rlly have snack food rn we havent been able to stock up yet this semester#so i can live off that until the morning#but do i want to is the question#i could also go grab smth from the vending machine and use dining dollars instead of my card.... hmbh
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Ugh I'm always hungry but also never have an appetite and can't make myself eat much of anything... which of my many ailments is the cause of this and how do I eat more than a few bites without feeling like I'm going to be sick when I started out super hungry?
#this is just annoying#i had a protein shake for breakfast but i was still super hungry so i made eggs and toast#but barely managed to eat one egg and one slice of toast and now it's lunch time and im hungry but scared to try eating anything#uterine fibroid#type 2 diabetes#endometrial cancer#it's probably not the high blood pressure I'd guess#oh well i have an appointment with my dr tomorrow#and an appointment with the gyn oncologist next Tuesday so hopefully we'll make some progress#also I'm super crampy today like my lower abdomen has so much pressure ughh#okay time to get back to obsessively listening to popcorn and ignoring my problems ☺️
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guys.... i think im mentally ill 😧
#damien talks#Erm#Maybe i need my meds upped maybe not. WHO KNOWS!!!#that or it is soemthing else .. something ... i dont know of...#either im so scared Forever or im pissed at everything who knowssss who cares WHO GIVE A SHIT!!!!#idk im tired and i had a kinda shit day but last day of the week AND i got my very Big And Important project done#very tired cuz its super grey and rainy out fir basically the rest of the day LOL#idk ill prolly draw but eating will likely help.. even tho im not rlly hungry rn :p#<-which means jack and also shit cuz i do t usually feel hungry#vent in tags
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On the train home and distraught over it. My heart lies scattered all over the dust grey floor in pieces that are both pitiful and innumerable.
#i need to go back soon and stay even longer#im SO unexcited about going back home#thinking about my village and feeling <_< about going back#LDNDKSKSJWKLSLSLA#I MISS MY GF I CANT STAND THIS#silvi talks#im on the train super hungry and it will be late to stockholm so might not have time to eat#gonna try and buy a drink at least since i forgot#its been a decade almost since i moved back from tokyo for the last time and yet?#im STILL complaining near daily about the lack of konbini#swedish 7eleven you SUCK and you should be ashamed of yourself#dont mind me i barely got any sleep im hungry thirsty#and about to carry my bags up and down tons of stairs again#except this time i might also need to rush unlike before#ue ue ue (soung of crying)#at the very least mother mine is kind to pick me up#therefore saving me from my famously disastrous local public transport#thank fuck
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protip: if food stops tasting good it might mean you are full and can stop eating. you can put the food in the fridge for later.
#my bodys full feeling thing only works sometimes so I've had to learn other ways to tell if ive eaten enough or i should stop#and if food gets super boring or tastes bad when it usually tastes good then it means im full#but i also sometimes dont feel hungry either so i have to eat a bit even when its boring and see how it goes#the not feeling full comes to me naturally but the not feel hungry is a side effect of my adhd meds#which helps a lot with learning how i can just have a really small meal and thats enough sometimes as long as i have a larger meal later
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