#im actually quite busy trying to survive

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Maybe if people around me understood how much of my already very limited energy goes into not hurting or killing myself maybe they'd chill a bit with their expectations

[alientee]

Shimmer Head

Ekko x reader

6k+ words

Fem reeader

Hazbin hotel Easter egg included. Addicted song describes reader.

Warning: suicidal thoughts and actions, drug use not by choice though.

Im sorry it took so long yall I’ve been crocheting blankets for Christmas and life has been lifting with work

You were an anomaly, or at least that’s what Silco called you. Apparently he saved you at birth; one calm walk through Zaun's lanes, and your mom was an overdosing shimmer head who was getting her last fix before she pushed you out. You survived. This was something Silco never thought possible; even when you looked like a shivering, whining skeleton, you were strong, a survivor, and from that day on, you were his daughter.

As life went on, you got stronger, faster, and a little more insane; your eyes changed, looking like a wild mix of two different colors. You changed so much it confused you every day to see yourself. How the voices in your head would go from telling you to slaughter everyone to offing yourself.

Silco had you microdosed with shimmer ever since you were a newborn till now, and you handled it each and every time. You were his creation, his wild card. Even as a child, he had you by his side with torture, robbing, and meetings. You’ve done it all. There were days the voices really did get to you; sometimes it was better to hurt yourself rather than to crash. You can remember the times Silco had to stop you from hurting him and yourself. The scars on your arms, the bloodstains left on your clothes, the burn scars from throwing bone down without any care, ready to give it all up. Either you survived, or Silco was just in time.

So when you first met Jinx, your first thoughts were, This poor kid, she’s just a dreamer.

But she followed you around everywhere, calling you sis, saying she’d never leave your side, she’d never leave you no matter what. Not like her sister did. You didn’t believe her; how could you? No one but Silco ever saw you; he’s the only one that loved you.

Until she followed you to a club one night.

You spin around in the chair, listening to the grungy punk music, drunk, horny prowlers, angry wannabes, and goofy dancers mixing into the crowd. You sit in your chair in the corner of the club, drink in one hand, revolver in the other. One bullet, one drink—it was all a game to you. The gun clicked three times, and you took three shots before it was snatched from your hand. And lo and behold, it was your new shadow coming to ruin the fun.

“Hey, what gives, Blue Jay!”

“How are you going to be the big shot legacy Silco says if you're dead, dumbass!”

“It’s none of your business!”

“We’re family now, so yeah, you are!”

“You going to love me even if I try to kill Silco in his sleep?”

“I’d still love you even if you killed me with him.”

Family, huh?

“Fine.”

For the first time you didn’t take your game too far, or get fucked up and pass out behind the bar; you didn’t even have a mental breakdown.

At least the voices got quiet for a while.

After a while you started to think of Jinx as a sister. Someone you could confide in, someone who gets you. Was Silco the best dad? Nah, but he was all you had. Now you know he had Jinx too. You thought everything was ok; you could be happy with your found family; even if you were broken, you still had people to fix you up, so everything was fine.

At least you genuinely believed everything was alright.

Until Jinx’s actual sister showed up, calling her Powder, the hugging, the crying, the family reunion was cute. You haven’t seen Jinx this vulnerable in a while. Everything was calm until some Piltie came out, and then the moment was gone. Jinx threatens the redhead with the gun, and boom, the Firelights had you all surrounded.

“Jinx, if you want your sister back, you gotta be smart about this.” The silence you got back let her know she was thinking up something stupid.

Smoke and ash covered the air, bullets flying and fighting at every turn. The firebugs just didn’t know when to quit, always trying to get into business that isn’t theirs. It was fun knocking them off their boards every once in a while. You’ve faced them before with Jinx killed a couple of times; you didn’t kill any of them, though. Never had the guts to really kill innocent people; you didn’t want to know what the voices would say if you did. You didn’t want to lose yourself all the way.

As always, Jinx is shooting bullets every which way in the sky, which wasn’t bad, but using bombs to blow up the platform is very bad. Your body hurt, your ears were ringing, and you could barely breathe. You tried calling out for Jinx but got no answer. You finally dragged yourself up; you can see some fire bugs down, but you couldn’t see Jinx. Couldn’t see her sister. Didn’t even see the body lying dead somewhere.

Huh, you were all alone.

Then it dawned on you: Jinx did it on purpose. She really was a genius, truly. She blew up the platform, making a distraction; a lot of people were down and out. Nobody could see what was happening; some too injured to chase.

Looks like she could only carry her sister to safety, though.

You’ll never leave me no matter what, huh?

Hehehehehe, yeah right!

You could finally breathe again and got the strength to stand up. It was all just so funny, really.

Bunch of bullshit hahahahaha

You didn’t notice anything going on around you, the shuffling of people standing; you didn’t feel all the cautious eyes on you. Not that you cared; all you cared about were the voices screaming at you so loud you could swear your ears were bleeding.

Walking towards the edge of the platform is easy. Turning around and giving a mock salute to the firelights with a smile on your face was easy. But dropping to your death knowing the last thing playing in your headphones was your and Jinx's song, it fucking burned every lyric you tried to sing just turned to ash in your mouth.

But at least now the voices would stop forever. The air rushed through your ears and then nothing.

Out like a light

You woke up in an eerily dark room; honestly, it was predictable. Down to the moldy smell, the silence, and the creepy guy in the corner with a mask. And you honestly should’ve been more mad at yourself for getting saved; you couldn’t even die in peace!

“Why am I alive, dammit!”

The silence was so annoying; there’s no need to try and be intimidating. You’ve seen worse. You hate people who try those tactics; you can’t torture someone who’s already tortured every day. Geez, just kill them if they don’t tell you what you want.

“Look, I’m not going to tell you shit, so just kill me already!”

And then the mask comes off. You don’t know him, but you knew him, apparently jinx’s past. The boy savior, she calls him; he looks just like she said he would. You also remember what she told you about him. “Better watch out; the boy savior likes to think he can save everybody.”

Ok, you can deal with a wannabe hero.

“Your on shimmer. You are an addict; Slico has you do his dirty work, and he gives you your next fix. Am I right?”

You’re really fucking wrong. Scratch that; you didn’t want to deal with the wannabe hero.

“So how about you tell me what I need to know, and you get to lay low somewhere secret and get off that shit before you try and die again while Silco just replaces you?”

The voices started to get louder, your throat tight and blood dripping from your palms for how tight you started to squeeze them. His words were like acid on your skin. Just who did this asshole think he was?

“First of all, dipshit, I’m his daughter! Ok, not some random street rat shimmer head he feeds. Second of all, shimmer makes people stronger. I should know; came right out of my druggie mom, still living and breathing, full of shimmer! I’ve been injected with it since Silco adopted me! He says I’m perfect; he says I'm his legacy. I don’t do his dirty work; I help him make Zaun better! So you're dead fucking wrong, wannabe!”

Now he’s looking at you like you’re crazy…. And you're used to that.

“This is better? Our people are dying all around us. Kids are abandoned! People are sick and starving. How is this better?”

“Blame Piltover! Duh!”

“It’s Piltover. And Silco, are you crazy??!!”

That word. It always did something to you. You didn’t care when people looked at you like you were... but calling you crazy? Different story. Something that made all the voices laugh, an itch in your brain that told you to break, hurt, destroy, kill, and show them your insane.

“FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU! Hahahahahahahahaha. All of Piltover and Zaun is going to burn you, and your fucking bugs are going to be ash! I’m not crazy. I’m perfect. I’m perfect he said”—

Your music!?! Where were your headphones?!!?

You were so numb, in a really dark place, you never fully remembered how your episodes went. When that singed guy injected you with your first microdose of shimmer, all you remembered was the screaming and Silco whispering how proud he was. But Ekko would remember it all even in his dreams. How you banged your head against the pole you were tied against over and over again. Crying tears of shimmer while laughing hysterically until blood dripped on the side of your head. Only to end up sobbing.

The voices screamed and screamed and screamed. Until they stopped, they never just stopped without music or silco. And you never had this heavy feeling over your ears without your headphones.

Oh, it’s this Ekko guy. What is he doing? Why is he holding his hands over your face? Why is he looking at you like that?

“I’m sorry. You’re not crazy. I promise, okay? Breath for me nice and slow.”

This was nice: everything quiet, everything nice and warm. This is new, huh?

“Hey!? Wai”—

Out like a light again

“She’s a danger to the base!”

“We can help her. She’s not like Jinx! She’s the product of a bad situation. She’s not with Silco because she wants to be; it’s because it’s all she knows.”

“She’s a mess; keeping her here is like bringing bullshit to our door!”

“He’s been injecting her with shimmer since she was an infant! We can’t kick her out!”

“Can y'all shut up sleeping here?”

Bat Guy and Ekko just stared at you.

“Look, I don’t care what you do to me; can I just have my damn headphones? The voices, ya know, they’re telling me to escape and kill everyone here. Soooooo, my earphones, pretty please.”

The boy wonder hands them over and puts them over your ears. And even with no music playing, everything feels peaceful. The whole time, he and Bat Boy are still going back and forth; this time you couldn’t hear it, though. Finally you get silence, if only for a moment. You almost bit Ekko when he moved one of them back off.

“Look, let’s compromise: you get a little freedom, supervised. And we get one shimmer shipment location… not the factory, just the shipment.”

“No bullshit babysitters; it’s you or nothing.”

“...fine.”

You could’ve told him to fuck off and die. Make him eat his sappy little words. But after the way he held your ears, he looked like a kicked puppy for making you freak out. How softly he said sorry. It was different; it was new. You didn’t do soft, not that much.Silco always told you to play your enemies, so maybe giving a little bait wouldn’t be too bad.

“Fine, boy wonder, I’ll give you a shipment that’s all.”

“Thank you.”

There he goes, looking at you like that again.

Like some kind of puppy. What a sucker.

Ekko took you outside, but you didn’t want to socialize, so he kept you both at a good distance from the others. While taking you out of the base, you didn’t want to look at anyone. If you saw any leering faces and judging eyes, you knew you’d lash out.

Oddly enough, you didn’t want to smack the fuck out of Ekko's face. Maybe a little bit, not a lot. You didn’t know what it was, but Ekko was calming; his presence was like a warmth in the dark murk of Zaun. You didn’t understand how he could be so... normal with all of this around him.

Maybe it was the fact that he actually took you out of the hideout and onto a roof to look over Piltover. You could’ve knocked him out, taken his board, and run. Why is he so stupidly trusting? “How do you do it?” He raises an eyebrow. “Do what?” You raise one back “Be so happy-go-lucky when we live in a place like Zaun.” That made him stop his steps, and he looks serious; you haven’t seen him unless he’s talking about shipments.

“I have to make a change for the people who can’t help themselves; I want to give people something to live for; the firelight is my way of doing that.”

And there he goes again, making your mind feel funny again. It sounds like he means it; everything Ekko says always sounds genuine, but somehow you can’t bring yourself to believe him.

“Alright then, help me by teaching me how to ride one of those hoverboard things.” Ekko’s eyes get wide, and his mouth even opens a little. “You want to learn? I’ve been trying to get you to do that for a week. What changed?” You didn’t want to let him know the real reason, so you decided to play it off.

“Just thought I could kick your butt at something, boy wonder,” he scoffed. You knew he hated the nickname; it was too fun teasing him to stop, though.

“Alright, alright. If you’re so confident, then I’ll teach you. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when you end up falling off a few times.”

“I’ll be a pro; just you wait and see.”

You were in fact not a pro. Your knees were scuffed, and the dirt on your clothes was a testament to just how many times you hit the dirt. “Sorry this is taking so long; I feel fucking stupid.” Ekko grabs your hands and pulls you up, grabbing the board. “Don’t; it takes everyone a minute to learn this is no different. How do you think I feel? I made it; I had to test it and fall a lot.” You give him a nod, deciding to take the board back with a little more confidence this time. “What a boy genius you are,” you got a snort in return.

“Now, remember, hoverboards are pretty sensitive. You have to find your balance and keep it steady. And be careful not to lean too far to one side or the other, or you’ll tip over.” Ekko watches you carefully as you mount the hoverboard, his arms crossed over his chest. The hoverboard begins to move forward as you lean, slowly at first, but steadily gaining speed.

You could hear Ekko yelling behind you, “There you go, you’re doing great! Just keep your balance and focus on the path ahead.”

“What about turns!? What if I fall??”

“Don’t worry; I’ll be right here to catch you if you fall.”

You got the hang of it after a while; you both went back to the base riding your hoverboard and even racing some of the kids. It was a good time, no responsibilities, no expectations. It still hurt you; there was no Silco, but at least you had distractions.

Ekko seemed to show up when he wasn’t asked; it’s like he knew when to butt into people's business.

He was there during your worst moments of loneliness. When the darkness was too much, when the voices kept repeating the insults louder and crueler. Telling you to kill yourself, that you're nothing, worthless, not good enough, burn the firelight base to the ground, and watch everyone around you die. You’ll only end up alone anyway. The smell of ash and blood, you could remember it by heart. Tears pouring out of your eyes continuously, you didn’t even sob. You had nothing to be sad about in the moment. You just naturally cried, and all you could do was scream, hoping I’d stop. Sitting in the dark waiting for it all to end. Thinking, hoping that just maybe one day you’d be blessed enough not to wake up.

It wasn’t until you felt Ekko's heavy gloves on your shoulder. Asking if you were ok, if you needed anything, if you needed him. Looking at you like you're the only thing that mattered in the moment. Moving to sit next to you, his shoulder lightly touching yours. “You don’t have to talk; just know I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere.” Those days were hard, but it always felt nice to have Ekko lying on the floor next to you, no words, just his company.

He even let you into his little workshop. His words: “You don’t have to knock. If you need me, just come in” You’d hand him his tools and use all the knowledge you had on tech to help. You used to make a lot of trinkets that helped your day-to-day life. You didn’t like to make weapons like Jinx, but you could make a mean bomb. You’ve even fallen asleep to his tinkering and his little nerd-out moments. “You're such a dork.” He wouldn’t even take his eyes off his invention.

“Shush if you're not going to help.”

“Touchy touchy. Here, let me look, boy genius.” When you actually put in effort to help him, he’d look at you from the side of his eye, and you’d pretend like you didn’t notice the small smile creeping up on his face. Sitting by his side until late at night, making new things to help out in the base. Both your giggles and the metal clanking were the only things heard at 3 am.

And that’s how it was for a month. Ekko is coming in, trying to coax you into giving up Silco; you give him a little info, and he folds and gives you what you want for the day. You had a good thing going. So why’d he want to ruin it now? You were fine seeing the kids; you made small talk with one of the firelight girls, but that’s it. Everyone else you dealt with in passing. So why was Ekko so set on you interacting with more people?

“How about we hang out with the group for a bit?”

“I’m fine; I hate people.”

“Look, I’m just trying to—“

“I don’t need help! I don't need friends! I—I need my dad; I need…. I need to feel in control. It still feels like I’m a fucking prisoner even if you say I’m not.

Ekko doesn’t talk for a minute; you can tell he’s trying to choose his words wisely, his white locs covering his face. “I don’t know what you see in Silco, even if he took you in…. You can’t tell me you truly see the good in what he’s doing.

You didn’t answer him. Afraid you’ll say something you’ll regret by lashing out. He didn’t get it; he didn’t get you! Silco was your dad; Silco helped you ignore the voices; he loved you even if he had a funny way of showing it.

“He’s not the best dad in the world, but he’s my dad. He helped me when I had no one. Doesn’t that count for something?”

Ekko didn’t answer you; it’s like he wanted to argue, but he knew you needed this.

“Just... just give it a chance; you may find your people.”

If he heard your scoff, he didn’t react to it.

I don’t have people; all I have is my dad and myself, even when I don’t love myself.

Ekko’s soft words pulled you out of your thoughts.

“You have me too.”

“Until how long, hmmm, till I run out of information?”

“That’s no—“

“Hey, Ekko, tell me how I survived the day I jumped.”

Ekko went back silent; he was giving you that look again, and you hated it. It’s like he saw everything within you, and it made you feel naked, like you couldn’t hide.

“Oh that… flew down to save you.”

“Why?”

“When you smiled at us before you fell, I thought you were asking for help.”

You giggled at that; only Ekko would think of saving his enemy who tried to off themselves in front of him. “Your something else, Sunflower.”

“Sunflower!? What kind of flower is that? We don’t have those in Zaun.”

“Alright, take me out or whatever it is you want.”

“D-don’t say it like that. Come on, I’ll introduce you to the kids.”

You never knew Zaun could look like this, or even have a tree, and now the name firelights makes sense: nothing but a lush green tree with the fireflies all around it. It’s peaceful, plush; it’s nice. You got a few looks here and there, but it’s fine; ekkos here, and you weren’t forced to hang out with who you didn’t want to.

And that’s how you spent your day bonding with Ekko and even the kids; they weren’t as judgy, and you appreciated it. Even when they had questions, it didn’t feel pointed. “Why do you always wear those things on your head?” your headphones; you never took them off, never could bring yourself to part from the one thing that helps stop the voices, no matter how battered and dingy they are. “They’re headphones. They help me when I’m scared or upset.” “Oooooh, I get it; my mask helps me! Makes me feel stronger!” “Good, use your strength to become the best firelight you can be.”

That’s how the day started and ended: you playing with the kids, running around, playing tag and hide and seek until the night came. The kids gathered around, using common objects around them to make a little band; music brings a lot of the firelights together, and somebody brings an actual scrap-made speaker playing louder music. Some even start to dance. And in this moment you couldn’t help but think maybe Ekko was right; maybe these people were ok.

You grab the overworking leader by the arm and pull him with you. “What is it?”

“Come on, Ekko, let’s dance!”

“Dance?”

“Yeah, you scared boy wonder?“

“Not at all, but um… why?”

“Who doesn’t like dancing!”

That’s when the music hits and nothing else matters. Ekko moves effortlessly, his body flowing in perfect harmony with yours. He keeps you close, his chest pressed against yours as he twirls you around. The world outside seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you in your own little bubble. Your body’s moving in rhythm as the music gets Ekko pulls you closer, one hand resting on your waist while the other takes hold of your hand, spinning you. He begins to sway gently, guiding you in a slow dance. Holding each other’s sides, swaying back and forth. Every minute you got to look in Ekkos's eyes, seeing him smile at you like that did something to you; he really was something else.

You couldn’t let those eyes shake you, though. You knew it was only a matter of time before it all went to hell; no one really gives a damn about you, no one except Silco. But maybe if you were a better daughter, he would’ve found you by now.

Ekko could only look at you in confusion when you walked away from him, away from the gathering. He thought it was a good moment that he was finally getting through to you. But he wasn’t one to push, not when he knew what you’d been through, but he followed you up the stairs to the treehouse.

And when he found you, the silence was heavy but comfortable. That’s how it was with you too, and you’d never say it out loud, but he made you feel safe.

“Do you want to stay here?”

You timidly glanced into his eyes before you took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” you looked away, closing your eyes, trying to stop yourself from getting out of hand. Ekko hummed, leaving more silence in between you both, and then he asked another, “Even if you know Silco loves you, it isn’t healthy.”

You opened your eyes as a bitter taste remained in your mouth. Your face contorted into different expressions as you debated with yourself on whether or not you would share.

“My mother was a shimmer addict; she had me right as she overdosed. And Silco found me; I was different; I survived even with a small, premature body full of shimmer. He said I was unique, that I could change all of Zaun. I believe him. I’ve done a lot of great things… at least I think so. Even if you don’t agree with him, he saved me.

“But you're not okay—

“Don’t tell me what I am! I’m perfect as I am; he said so! I may not be normal, but I am living instead of surviving, Ekko! Can’t you see that?”

“I do. But you know what else I see? I see how happy you are riding your board; I see how sweet you are with the kids, especially when you steal yarn from the top side and crochet stuff for them; I see how you care for Raven when you think she’s not looking by finding her favorite things to surprise her without letting her know it was you; I see how you truly care for the people you're loyal to. You touch people's lives and leave light in your wake. I see how beautiful you are inside and out. You’re your own person, not what Silcos made you! You can do better than what he has you doing.”

“Is that what you’ve come up with in your mind? That I’m just this lost, misguided girl who was groomed to be fucked up? News flash! Boy Wonder, I’m in Zaun. I was going to be fucked up regardless of Silco! Who do you think I am, huh? Don’t act like you know me, 'cause you don’t! Stop trying to change me into something I’m not! I’m not some knockoff version of Jinx you can fix just because I decided to be nice a few times. What?! I’m your little powder passion project. Couldn’t save her, so you’re trying to save me because we both have family, daddy, and abandonment issues?!”

You knew it was a low blow, but even though she left you, you couldn’t help but think about Jinx’s words, taking them to heart, and everything she told you. “He likes to think he can save everyone.”

He narrowed his eyes at your response; you could see him clenching his fist and clenching his teeth. His eyes no longer looking at you with acceptance or worry like you were used to, only irritation

“I wasn’t trying to change her; I thought she was in danger. I didn’t know she went with that piece of shit willingly…. I thought I could save her; I needed to because she was my friend.”

“Ohhhhh, that’s right, you’re the boy savior!”

His eyes went from a glare to cold and lifeless.

“Fuck you. You know nothing; you only know Jinx's pain but not mine. You’re right about one thing, though: you and Jinx are similar. So I don’t know why I was stupid enough to try and help you; just like her, you don’t deserve it.” That just pissed you off more.

“I didn’t ask you to help me! I didn’t ask for you to save me from offing myself! I didn’t ask for you to try and fucking fix me or my life!”

“I’m not trying to change you; I’m trying to give you something better! A chance! Silco didn’t give you a chance; he used you! Your work, a tool! If you survived on shimmer this long since birth, you're proof that his product can lead to something greater than he thought. But it’s at the expense of you and your health.” His voice lowers, his breathing heavy. “Please… tell me you see it. You have to know that keeping you on shimmer as long as he has wasn’t to help you. Only him.”

In the back of your mind you knew; you always knew. And yet the faith he put in you gave your heart love you’ve never felt before. How he always stated he was proud of you, said you were the best thing to happen in his life, that you're his legacy, his daughter. But what was the cost for your heart, suicidal thoughts, breakdowns, nightmares, and dissociation? A mother that never wanted you, a father that loved you but not enough to see your pain, only your potential. “Hey Ekko, thank you. For saving me and making me realize. I don’t want people to end up like me... because I’m not ok.”

“Then let me he“—”. He didn’t get to finish before you pushed back, making him crash into the tree behind him. You jumped from the stairs on the tree; you didn’t care about the fall because it’s the freest you ever felt. You could hear the other fireflies yelling, but the adrenaline and the wind in your ears helped you ignore them. As soon as you fell, you pushed forward, not caring about the pain in your legs and ankles. Grabbing a hoverboard before speeding off and out of the hideout.

When Ekko got up, he didn’t chase you, nor did he call out for you; all he could do was watch. Scar rushed up to him, looking at him expectingly. “She’s going to go back to Silco!? We have to catch her before she rats us out!?” Ekko didn’t react to his words, only looking forward to where you had run. “Ekko!” And when Ekko finally looked at Scar, he just shrugged. “She’ll be back when she’s ready.” “She’s not coming back." Ekko, she’s been waiting for an opportunity to escape, and we let her!”

Ekko just shook his head, picking up something off the ground. “She’ll be back.” “How do you know!?” Ekko moved his hand in front of Scar, showing him what he picked up. “She left her headphones.” Scar just scoffed. “That doesn't mean anything.” Ekko just shook his head. “Trust me, if you knew her like I do, you’d know it meant everything.”

You wandered around one of Silco's biggest shimmer factories, where most of his shipments go. You walked around the rooftop, pacing back and forth. “I’m addicted to the madness~” You turned on your headphones, singing along, tuning out the noise below, scummy workers and henchmen everywhere. “Let me leave my soul a-burning; I’ll be breathing it in.” Sneaking down through the crawl spaces, you laid out bombs everywhere you could stick them. You set up trap after trap after trap after trap. You knew this place like the back of your hand, so it was easy to get in and get out.

“I’m addicted to the feeling, getting higher than the ceiling~” This place had meaning to you… this was the first place Silco took you when he felt like you were ready to work for him. The first place where he showed you the ropes was the same place he had you start your injections. The same place you had your first breakdown. This felt like a goodbye to the past, the pain, everything that made you feel inadequate. You don’t know what you’d be without Silco; you knew the voices would never fully leave, but at least with this you could let your dad know you were ok and that you were going your own way.

“Just concede and give in to your inner demons again~” You hit the button, and it all blew up—the building, the workers.

And you too. Hopefully, Silco can forgive you for not saying goodbye.

It’s been 3 months; Ekko waited for you to return. But after a while he could only assume you’d either gone your own way or something terrible happened. Missions still happened with no sign of you with Silco's goons, and there’s talk about the huge explosion that happened, so he couldn’t pinpoint what had happened to you; all he had to give him comfort about your departure was your headphones. He never touched them, only keeping them by his bedside with your memory lingering with him whenever there in his sight. But today at 12 am, he finally had the courage to tinker with them, hopefully fixing them up.

He was concentrating so hard he didn’t hear the door open; it was Scar. “Your stray is back,” and as soon as he came, he left.

“Hey sunflower,” he jumped and turned around so quickly you thought he’d fall out of the chair. He did slip a little as he rushed to hug you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to laugh.

“Missed me?” He squeezed your torso, chuckling a little. “Missed your humor, not your bullshit.” You poked at his side, making him jump. “Lies, you missed that too. Everyone else is boring.

He pulls you over to his patched-up couch, both of you plopping down. You lean into his touch, laying on his shoulder. Neither of you said anything; you didn’t need to. You don’t know what you expected when it came to his reaction. But you’re glad Ekko didn’t pressure you to talk about anything or question what you’d been doing. You’d tell him one of these days. The withdraws, breakdowns, you almost ending it all. But right now you just wanted to enjoy his company; being alone for months took its toll, so it’s good to be back in a warming presence.

It took everything in you to not go back to Silco, to everything that was easier. But you pulled it off, and you hope Ekko could see that you really are trying. “Was it you?” He spoke so softly you thought you just imagined it, but Ekkos looking into your eyes let you know it was real. And you knew what he meant; your explosion was nothing but destruction, but you wanted to leave that behind you. So you said the only thing that was closest to the truth. “I’m following my own path now, Ekko.” When you looked back at him, it almost took your breath away. Those stupid, big, brown eyes looking at you with so much warmth you could’ve melted right then and there. It made you sick.

“I’m happy for you... So you’re just visiting?”

“Geez, trying to kick me out already, huh?” He shook his head. “Of course not. I just…. I want you to be happy and go your own way, even if it’s not here with me.” You looked away, biting your cheek. “So what if I wanted to be happy here?”.

“Then I’d make a space for you right now; you’re always welcome.”

“Even in your room~”

“Yeah, you can stay with me if you want.”

You felt all your thoughts falter and come to a stop once the words were out of his mouth. You paused and looked at him, face red. “Easy there; we don’t want everyone jealous that the big boss in charge is playing favorites.” He pulls you so close, too close. His nose and forehead touching your own. You don’t know this Ekko, Ekko who always was too shy to flirt back, who was always the gentleman, who only gave fleeting touches like he was afraid to break you. “You are my favorite; you’ll always be someone special to me.” You couldn’t help pushing his buttons, not wanting him to see your face reddening.

“Leaders shouldn’t show favoritism, ya know. I’m going to need something for me to keep quiet; wouldn’t want to hurt the kiddies feelings, would you? out of all the things you expected Ekko to say, you didn’t expect what he’d do.

Ekko leans down, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. It’s slow and tender; the brush of his lips is so soft. He takes his time, savoring the feel of your lips against his, pouring all of his love and affection into the kiss. He leaned back and smiled warmly as he continued to gently caress your cheek. He looked at you with a soft, affectionate expression, his gaze filled with adoration thatyou’d noticed before. You just never had the guts to call him out on it.

“Is that enough to keep you quiet?”

“It's a start.”

[bitchimasnake-sss]

sfw alphabet ft. roronoa zoro! (because im down bad for him)

enough horniness, now we shall weep and cry cause of how much we love this moss head 🤭🤭

yes ur honor this is the man im in love with :/

💗affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?):

affection (in it's traditional sense) comes hard to zoro. he doesn't really know how to go about it to be very honest. to him affection is sarcasm and acts of services ("acts of service" include calling you mid in 5 languages (joke), making fun of your exercise form and the way you sometimes drool in your sleep, offering you sake etc.). but as time passes by and you both start getting more comfortable with each other, he gets on board with it. every time you both are spending time alone, he holds onto you one way or the other. don't expect him to call you sugarcakes or something because he won't but he will let you know before drifting off to sleep that you mean the world to him. i dont think hes a huge pda guy but if he's super drunk then he cannot possibly keep his hands off of you, its quite weird for the crew to see him so openly affectionate (cue sanji gagging).

💗best friend:

what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start? he's lowkey the bestest of best friends. he has the energy of "idk what you're doing but ig do it anyways cause i know how to fight" an opinion on everything but he doesn't have the time or energy to say anything (between his sleeping and training). doesn't mean he's any less nonchalant, no, he's just super opinionated for some reason. so, when you're sitting next to him on the deck on those late nights, asking him absurd questions, best believe he will deliver peak (nonchalant) commentary. especially after the two years when he's back from living with perona!!! HE IS A CERTIFIED FASHION KING. "zoro," you nudge him and he hums in response, "i was thinking of getting nami that silver bracelet for her birthday, should i?" "i mean i wouldn't give that debt collecting witch anything but-" he winces lightly when you punch him in the arm, "-but. i think silver will look look washed out against his complexion. gold seems better" "you think?"

💗cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?):

at the start, he thinks cuddles are lowkey dumb (and like he probably has gone years without them), so, he puts up this weird drama like "uh no i dont wanna do it" ofc he's lying. cause you're so soft and you smell so good and his hands are literally shaking trying not to hold you against him. after a while, he will unironically announce to you that he is the little spoon tonight and you need to suck it up. (lowkey gives the best cuddles because he literally envelopes you whole till you have to physically push him away) he wants to cuddle but you're DYING. YOU JUST KNOW YOU ARE. because this man is a heat radiating hot heating device heater. he is like a portable sauna. he needs to give you some space but he wont.

💗domestic (how are they at cooking and cleaning?):

cooking? cleaning? you should be grateful that he's showering everyday ever since you started dating him. he knows some basic cooking and cleaning skills (cause he did survive on his own for a good few years) but he doesn't know them in a socially acceptable manner. he just caught a fish, burnt it and ate it cause ✨proteins✨ okay? it's not like he does it on purpose, it's just that he's too focused on training and getting better and you have a chef so, he doesn't have to bother too much about it. but if you both were living together, then i think he will obviously learn them cause he doesn't want you to be the only responsible one cleaning after his messes. and he actually has kinda started liking cooking cause it's relaxing (he's also good at chopping up veggies and stuff so you both can cook together). the only part of cooking he hates is when sanji starts giving him tips cause like genuinely, sanji mind your own fucking business okay he'd learn pasta himself. tldr; the first time you teach him these things, he makes a mess and almost burns down your house but afterwards, you can rely on him to get the things done semi-nicely.

💗ending:

if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it? i think if zoro had to breakup with someone it will probably be over focusing on his dreams of being the best swordsman or if you cheated on him or broke his trust. i don't think he will pursue a relationship with someone if he didn't see it lasting, so, he won't break-up for petty reasons (nor do i think he will ever cheat). i also think he's a practical man. he won't try to sugarcoat or make you false promises. he sure as fuck won't tell you that you both can "still be friends" or some shit (i mean unless you're in the same crew then it kinda goes without saying). he'll probably ask you to come have a chat with him. sit you down and tell you directly and exactly why he is doing it. and he absolutely won't let you have any residual doubts if you "weren't enough" for him or so. just because he has to make this decision doesn't mean he doesn't love or respect you. so, even tho he won't ask you to be friends, if you ever need someone to rely on, he will be there for you. bottom line, he will still be a friend to you (though prepare to ignore each other for a long time after the breakup cause obviously it hurts and you might punch him)

💗fiance(e):

how do they feel about commitment? seeing as his character is super ride or die, he definitely doesn't have a problem recognizing how much you mean to him. but he is pretty emotionally constipated, so, he will take an eternity to actually accept how much you mean to him in a non-friendly manner. how quick would they want to get married? settling down??? no. he's not settling down. not until he's the best swordsman atleast. marriage is lowkey scary to him cause he didn't grow up with healthily functioning relationships to look upto but once he started dating you, he could see it potentially being a "forever" sort of a thing. he's probably not gonna say that out loud tho, thats a topic reserved only for wayward day-dreams or super drunken nights. so, as for the marriage thing he'd want to take his time. he would probably choose to achieve his own goals (and support you to reach yours) and then, think about settling down.

💗gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?):

physically: zoro is acutely aware of his super-human strength but it still comes as a shocker to him to see how fragile, almost dainty you are in compare to him. simple things like comparing hand sizes or how large his t-shirt looks on you when you wear it to sleep genuinely leave him awestruck (and slightly lovesick). so, he makes it his number one priority to always be gentle to you, as if he's scared that you're on the cusp of breaking. and he treats you as such always. (unless you ask with tear-lidden eyes and trembling lips how badly you want him to demolish you because then, maybe he is ready to comply) emotionally: like almost everything else, gentle words come hard to him at the start. all he has known is tough love. so, understanding that making fun of you when you're having your weekly breakdown was the wrong choice took him a while. he's not like emotionally stunted but he still doesn't trust his choice of words to comfort you. rather, he lets the way he holds you against him and pets your head when you sob against his chest do the talking. but if you go out of your way to teach him what he should probably say when you're sad then he might have some luck with it. until then, enjoy the cuddles.

💗hugs:

do they like hugs? after starting to date you, this man realized he loves hugs. and he loves giving hugs. but he's incredibly selective and thus far the only two (2) candidates have been allowed to pass through his tedious selection process. that being you and chopper (both of you are in a binding contract so you cant tell anyone about it either). well, luffy too if you count how clingy he can get 👍🏼 how often do they do it? he does hug you atleast once a day even if it as subtle as holding you from the back, resting his head on your shoulder. what are their hugs like? his hugs are genuinely bear hugs. okay. like he will engulf you and you will stand back and allow it to happen. he doesn't really hold on too long tho, so usually you gotta pull him back towards yourself and hug him tighter when you want it to last longer. pulling him towards yourself usually ends with him smiling and pressing a chaste kiss on your temple as his hands snake around you yet again.

💗"I love you" (how fast do they say the L-word?):

i think he says it fairly sooner than you anticipate. like however long you think he will take, it takes significantly lesser time. this is because (as i said), he probably spent a long time in denial and then in pining, so, naturally by the time you got together, he was sure of his feelings for you. anyways, one of my first fics on this blog was of how zoro probably said "i love you" to you when he was drunk and forgot about it when he woke up the next day. i still stand by that. i think it was a genuine, drunken confession but when you shyly confronted him about it, he just replied, "yeah, i meant that. i love you." his words were nonchalant but you could notice the dusted pink of his cheeks when he admits it and then his unsure gaze as he looks over your face and then the ground. (truth is, he only acted nonchalant. internally he is ready to jump off the ship incase you didn't say it back. thank god you said it back.)

💗jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?):

omg this man is simultaneously the most secure and the most jealous whore in this world. does he know you're not gonna cheat on him and ignore practically any man throwing himself on you? yeah, he knows that. but does he also want to cut off all those guys' heads if they even look at you? kinda, yes. i think he gets really shy to admit he's jealous. like he'd blame his irritable temper on the weather or the fact that he got less sleep last night. but you did notice how he clenched his jaw when a random guy in the market had been ogling you. and so, you tease him relentlessly. "zoro," you laugh, poking him in the chest accusingly, "are you sure? i think there might be something else going on" "like what?" he huffs, "i just got less sleep last night." "babe are you like jealous?" "no-" "you totally are" "stop saying that" "jealoussss" as to how does he deal with it? he fucks you. quick 'n easy. (im so sorry if youre a minor and reading this, in that case he pillow fights you to death.)

💗kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?):

what are their kisses like: after a long day, he always unwinds with you. so, his kisses are usually slow. he relishes in the way your lips feels against his, the way your cheeks feel like under his palm and the way you smile at him when you pull away. there's no haste because he has you right there and you both know you're not going anywhere. but on those nights he's pent up, anger and frustration strewn across his veins, he chooses to kiss you till he forgets just what he was angry about. his kiss-bitten lips are hot against yours, his hand roughly kneading your waist as he pours his anger into your desperate kisses. where does he like to kiss you: in public, his favourite spots are definitely your cheek or your temple as they are relatively tame pda tactics but still gets the point across. he gets to show his affection towards you without making a huge show for it. he also loves kissing on your shoulder as he rests his head on your shoulder and holds onto you. he can feel your pulse under his dull, soft kisses and heard your breathy hums and moans.

💗ittle ones (how are they around children?):

well, i hate kids. so, im gonna be biased. okay i don't hate kids but i hate toddlers. fucking devil spawns. i truly believe they will sacrifice us all for the beginning of the dark ages. anyways, zoro's not great with kids in theory. but somehow, when he interacts with kids he does end up somehow being a good (annoyed) dad figure (remember when he fathered three kids? cause i do)

💗mornings (how are mornings spent with them?):

morning with this green-haired ass start with you pushing his heavy arm off of you. you mumble that you're hot, trying to turn away from him and into the cool sheet. but it's no use because he just traps you against him yet again. zoro definitely doesn't give morning person vibes so i believe you are up before he is. you run you fingers softly against his scalp, bringing down your drumming fingers to his bare shoulders. you press an innocent kiss to his forehead and smile when he leans into your faint touches. when he finally wakes up, he looks up at you through sleepy eyes. he greets you with a tired "morning" before closing his eyes and draping himself you again. "zoro" you whisper half-heartedly, "everyone else is up, come on, we should get up too" he mumbles into your skin, "they weren't the ones keeping a watch last night, were they? come on, 10 more mins." "zo-" "please" he looks up at you, flashing you a soft smile, "10 mins." "10 mins only, okay? then we get up" (well, 10? more like 2 mins. luffy started yelling about breakfast and tried to eat before the food was served. and so, sanji (naturally) kicked him to near-death, so, you both had to wake up)

💗night (how are nights spent with them?):

walking out of the shower, you dry yourself off before cladding yourself in your pajamas. your limbs feel tired, body devoid of any and all energy as you climb into your bed to relax. sometimes you read, other times you just stare at the ceilings and think about stuff (we've all been there). zoro usually slips into the room silently, closing the door behind him. he plops down next to you and you curl up against him. sometimes, you both exchange small talk, if something fun happened while the other person wasn't around or gossip you heard from nami and ussop. but most days, you both simply enjoy the silence in each other's company till you're ready to fall asleep. every once in a while, he slips into the shower with you. (keeping this kids friendly) he gently washes your scalp and you rest your bare back against his chest as you ease yourself into the warm water. you return the favor by giving him a back massage. after this youre both so tired that you immediately pass the fuck out.

💗open:

when would they start revealing things about themselves: i feel like he'd know a lot about you before you find out anything important about him. he wears his loyalty and his dreams on his arms, but you don't find out why his dreams are so important or why he is so fidgety around tashigi until you're a good few days into dating. other small things about him are revealed to you thru his actions as he never mentions them, so, be prepared to be a persistent observer. do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly: he always reveals himself in little ways, never revealing too much. not because he doesn't trust you but because he's never had to talk about anything like this out loud. but anytime he does end up telling you something, it ends up being a heart to heart conversation. also, since he does get very drunk very often canonically, i don't think he's the type to slip up and tell things only cause he's not in the right headspace. so i imagine he only tells you things sober and in solitude, further cementing his trust in you.

💗patience (how easily angered are they?):

in moments of actual anger, as a swordsman, zoro is pretty good while handling his emotions. he knows how to differentiate between irrational feelings and actual solutions needed to get to the bottom of something. so, even when he gets mad he wouldn't necessarily act on it unless and until it is truly something that makes him tick. and things that make him tick includes people talking/doing something wrong to you or anyone in the crew, in that case he's going god mode. that being said, he will get easily irritated if someone is just joking around in the crew (especially sanji). he's incredibly patient with you tho, so, don't even worry about it and just accept him dumb antics for what they are.

💗quizzes:

 how much would they remember about you? i see yall sleeping on my man and i hate it. yes, hes kind of an idiot and not the best with memory but if it's anything about you or your relationship?? best believe he knows everything like the back of his hand. but he only claims that kind of power when it comes to you cause he will not really bother to remember other stuff if its not important. do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything? even though he wouldn't outright keep saying he remembers, he will often mention it in passing. like if you bring up someone while recounting a story to him, he will probably remember the last time you mentioned that guy. that being said, his memory is still kinda ass. so, he sometimes mixes things up if they aren't that relevant to the plot. so forgive him okay? hes trying

💗remember:

 what is their favorite moment in your relationship? i def feel like zoro prefers the mundane moments with you over any extravagant things. living on sea is insane, it's one thing after the other so knowing he has you to himself even for a few hours and in those hours, he gets to do nothing but love you truly means a lot to him. he isn't a cook by any means but this one time, when the rest of the crew had gotten off at a new island to restock and had only left you and him to keep guard, you had suggested you wanted to bake a cake. "i don't know how to cook" he mumbled softly, trying to convince you otherwise, "i can only do some cutting, slashing yk" "you dont even have to do anything!! just sit there and look pretty, i can do the baking." he eventually caved in. but now the memory of you making batter while he sat on the counter, talking to you is etched onto his every nerve. there had been a little bit of flour on your eyebrow and he used his thumb to clean it away before pulling you towards him and kissing you hard. you looked up at him, "i love you" "i love you too"

💗security:

how protective are they? i feel like zoro isn't as territorially protective as one would assume. like i said in the best friend section, he is more a laid-back "i know how to kill and get rid of the body, do whatever you want" kind of a vibe. that doesn't mean that he isn't gonna be on the verge of pulling out his swords the second someone even utters a word against you (but usually his dirty looks get the job done before he even pulls out the swords) how would they protect you? slash slash, stab stab and cocky remarks at the opponent (sometimes pure, unfiltered rage) how would they like to be protected? he's the roronoa zoro, he doesn't need physical protection. that being said, he wouldn't admit it out loud but just because he doesn't need you to pull out a gun to save him doesn't mean it doesn't give him pesky, little butterflies in his stomach whenever you defend him with your words. even if its something as small as calling out someone else's jokes that were targeted at him (and were just straight up offensive). or getting into actual verbal altercations (it happened once when you were drunk)

💗try: 

how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks? not a lot, tbh. look hes tired, you're tired, just cuddle and sleep okay? that being said he does put decent amount of efforts to surprise you every once in a while. he doesn't put on an extravagant show, so, mostly his surprises are just kinda lowkey and sweet. so on your anniversary, maybe he'd finally get the stick out of his ass and accept nami's idea of booking you a table somewhere expensive. but the memorable part isn't that, the memorable part is him asking (almost) shyly if you just wanna walk around town after dinner while he holds your hand and you bitch about your crew (in a loving manner).

💗ugly:

what would be some bad habits of theirs? omg obviously the drinking!!! i know he has high tolerance and shit but bro your liver's practically CRYING RN. please introduce yourself to some healthier coping mechanisms other than drinking and going stabby-stab. i also do think he's egoistic (it lessens with time) but its still a pain in the start

💗vanity:

 how concerned are they with their looks? this man does not give two fucks about his looks, like legit couldn't care less. he does know he looks decent tho (i mean casting mackenyu was a choice, i see you oda sensei). but ever since dating you, he has been putting in little efforts. i think partially cause you bully him into having a skincare routine and showering daily and partially cause he just wants to be a pretty boyfriend to his favourite girl.

💗whole: 

would they feel incomplete without you? yes and no. this is conflicting cause on one hand, ofcourse your absence will be equivalent to having daggers through his heart. but also, he seems like the guy who hyper-focuses on themselves after a breakup. i don't think he'd feel "incomplete" without you if you both ever broke up cause however dumb he is, he knows sometimes things don't work out and that's that. besides, even if you have to go, he still have people (the crew) to love and care for. but he would feel that glaring absence and it'll take a way heavier toll than anyone anticipated (cue him blasting heavy metal in his room and face-timing perona drunk and (almost) crying. perona suggested she takes care of you which made him actually cry cause perona dont be fucking mean)

💗xtra (a random headcanon for them):

zoro is so good at doing eye makeup specifically. i mean like because of all the sword-training and all, he has really good hand-eye coordination and very precise movements. so, like if you asked him to do your liner and give him specific-ish directions for how you want him to do it, he will 100% ace it. he doesn't really do well in other departments but he can learn (if you can make him learn thru that attitude of his) also, i theorize that he's ticklish but in the randomest fucking places. one time you lovingly ran your hand through his hair, bringing it playfully down to his nape and he fuckING GIGGLED?? another time you offered him a leg-massage cause he seemed to have pulled a muscle and you were working on his calf, trying to help him out and he yelped cause it tickled???? hello what do we do with this info now?

💗yuck:

what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner? he wouldn't like judgmental people or people who are very uptight (cause although his jokes could be hit/miss, he doesn't wanna hear a fucking lecture). also dont be disrespectful to him/his friends. and also, i think he would have a thing against people who are too nosy (pre-dating mostly), like if he wanted to tell you something he would other than those basic things, he's chill.

💗zzz:

he's asleep before you can say "good night" because he's a simple man who needs to sleep 10 hours a day (minimum) see he isn't going off ruining lives, he's not fucking things up for someone else, he's just taking a nap. its like the least horrible thing he can do, let him nap. i do think he should get checked for some vitamin deficiency tho caue uh, just in case. that being said, you go to sleep now. i would too. goodnight!

a/n: loved making this so much that i might make one for literally every character ever once i get the time lol

[schrijverr]

How to Survive Gotham as a Goon

Late one evening, a goon is there to witness his boss – Red Hood – shoot at Robin. Which means he goes through the five stages of grief as he imagines all the ways Batman will skin them, trying to get Red Hood to stop before it’s too late, which only leaves him with more questions.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: references to violence & gun shots

~~~~

Joseph does not want to die. He especially does not want to die at the hands of Batman. It might seem unlikely that that will ever happen, even if Joseph is a henchman, however watching his boss whip out a gun to shoot at Robin, he knows it might only be a matter of time.

It’s kind of the unspoken rule of the goon and henchpeople underworld to not hurt the kid in a way that’s permanent. While the big villains don’t keep to that rule, Joseph had hoped that Red Hood, with all his rules surrounding children, would be different.

However, all that hope is snuffed out when the two of them are taking a smoke break and Hood spots the kid on a warehouse across from their own.

Joseph is immediately on guard as he goes to scan around for the Batman, despite knowing it’s quite useless. But Hood stiffens in anger and screams: “You!” as points at Robin.

The giggle Robin lets out is heard easily as it echoes across the yard. It sends shivers down Joseph’s spine. He knows Robin is just a kid, but all goons and henchpeople have learned to fear the sound of that laugh and it isn’t any less intimidating when he can see the kid giving them a jaunty wave.

Hood’s street instincts must be broken, though, because he doesn’t do any of the things you’re supposed to, instead scrambling for his gun. Joseph is so in shock that he doesn’t even stop him when the first few shots ring out.

Across from them, Robin back flips away from where he was just sat, thankfully not getting hit by any of the bullets.

Robin starts to run and Hood follows him with a spray of bullets, yeering loudly: “Yeah, fucker, ya better run! Ya better fuckin’ run! If ya ever pull tha’ shit again, I’m killin’ you. Killin’ you! Ya hear me?”

Joseph gathers his senses and against the better instinct of keeping his boss on his side, jumps Hood, pushing his gun away as he exclaims: “Are you crazy!?” while Robin disappears over the rooftops.

Hood pushes him off and Joseph lets him, though he likely couldn’t have stopped Hood even if he wanted to, the man is built like a brick house. “What’re you onnabout?” Hood frowns, like he truly doesn’t realize who he just shot at.

“You shootin’ at Robin,” Joseph exclaims. “Do you have any idea the kind of carnage ya would’ve brought down on us if ya’d hit ‘im?”

“What?” Hood asks, sounding truly confused and a little taken aback.

“Do you really not know? By your accent I would’ve sworn ya were from ‘round these parts,” Joseph replies, more confused than normal by his enigma of a boss.

“Well, I’ve been outta the loop for a bit,” Hood grouches. “Explain.”

“I mean, most of the big fish don’t keep to it, but it’s common knowledge to not hurt Robin too bad unless ya want the big Bat to rock your shit,” Joseph explains. “I was already in the henchin’ business when the little guy first hit the street. Course we were all wary of ‘im but what ya gonna do? Fight a little kid?”

Hood lets out a bitter snort, commenting: “Yeah, who’d do that.”

Joseph isn’t sure where that comes from and hesitates for a second, then cautiously goes on: “But the kid was good, better than any of us thought. Fuckin’ embarrassing tha’ was. So we started fighin’ back a little, ya know. Actually punching the kid here and there. It was Jimmy who first truly hurt the kid.”

“Wait, Vegetable Jim?” Hood asks.

“Yeah, isn’t a vegetable anymore. Sonnabitch’s damn lucky that Wayne Enterprises offers compensation for those hurt while working, including hench work,” Joseph laughs a little bashful and awkward. “He clipped the kid with a baseball bat, broke his arm. God, I never heard a kid wail like that,” Joseph grimaces at the memory. “What’s worse is that the kid called for his dad. His dad.”

“Wait, tell me more,” Hood asks, sounding gleeful now, which weirds Joseph out a little. “Like was it super pathetic? Did he really just break his arm, nothing more?”

“No, nothin’ more, just the arm,” Joseph answers carefully. “And ya know how kids can get, it was piercin’ and whinin’. Why’d ya wanna know? Poor fella did nothin’ to ya. You’re to young for that.”

“Nah, I know that, just gonna bully the shit outta him when I see him,” Hood grins and now Joseph is fully confused, because from what he’s heard their first baby Robin is now Nightwing in Blüdhaven and they’re not planning to expand that way. However, before he can ask, Hood says: “Sorry, continue.”

“Well, uhm, Batman came immediately. It was carnage, like I said,” Joseph replied. “Jimmy became a vegetable for a year and a half. Bats usually tries to give us injuries that’ll only last a few weeks max, so we all knew we’d fucked up with that.”

Hood is quiet at that and Joseph explains: “Jimmy was the first and one of the worst, but all the goons tha’ ended up in the hospital for longer than three months hurt a Robin. I think the worst might be those tha’ helped, uhm, that villain kill the second Robin. His organization’s still recoverin’ from tha’ one. Think it’s the closest the Bat ever got to killin’ a man.”

Joseph knows that Hood has some deep seated grudge and hatred for Joker, despite taking his old moniker. So, he isn’t sure how well it will land.

He holds his breath as he watches how his boss will react, hoping he isn’t about to get a bullet in the leg. With Hood you’re less likely to get one in the head, but he’s absolutely not above taking out your femur or kneecap and that also sucks.

However, Hood surprises him. Joseph has always guessed that Hood is younger than he pretends to be, but he now sounds like a lost kid as he asks: “Really?”

“Yeah, boss, the Bat don’t play around when it comes to his Robin,” Joseph answers, suddenly feeling like he’s talking to his own son, instead of his crime lord boss. “New kid’s lucky. I mean, he made Batman nicer, god was he fucked when the second one died. But Stan over at Mr. Freeze’s operation cracked a few of his ribs by accident a coupla weeks after the Bat took ‘im in, I hear he still eatin’ out of a tube now. Bat’s gotten more vicious.”

Hood doesn’t say anything and to avoid feeling awkward Joseph just keeps talking: “Heard through the grapevine tha’ the kid got attacked pretty bad at that fancy Tower they’ve got out there, if the guy who did tha’s capable of thought, it’ll surprise me.”

At that Hood shifts slightly and Joseph is surprised to see a bit of guilt in his stance. It’s not something they see often from their boss. Like everything this smoke break, Joseph has no clue how to react to it.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have to, because Hood speaks first. Softly he says: “Guess the kid’s lucky. Just hope the Bat’s nearby when he needs ‘im.”

“Yeah, suppose,” Joseph agrees. “Though he usually is. Never seem ‘im leave the kid alone, especially this one.”

“Good, I’d kill ‘im otherwise,” Hood grunts.

While it fits with Hood’s penchant for protecting kids, Joseph is still thrown off by it, since Hood was shooting at Robin earlier. So he gives him a look, before saying: “I mean, ‘s good tha’ he worries. Kid’s a sprout. Must be older than my boy with the way he talks, but by god is he skinny.” Joseph laughs. “It’s almost funny tha’ I worry for the kid.”

“Nah, worry’s good,” Hood surprisingly assures him. “Wouldn’t be the same if he weren’t jumpin’ ‘round, even if he’s a nuisance.”

“That why ya were shootin’ at ‘im?” Joseph can’t help but ask, even though he knows it’s stupid. It is just- he can’t help it. Not after this strange conversation.

“Kinda,” Hood shrugs. “Little shit needs to learn not to touch my shit. Fucker moved my furniture, I like where my furniture is.”

“He was in your home?” Joseph exclaims, because what the fuck? Why didn’t they hear about it. If the Bats are investigating them close enough to break into their boss’s home, they have a big problem. Very big.

“Yeah, fucked up my alarms too, even though he got a perfectly good key,” Hood mopes and Joseph’s brain screeches to a halt.

Almost as if he’s misheard he asks: “He got a key? Robin got a key? A key to your home?”

“Not voluntarily,” Hood sulks, seemingly not aware of how fucked up that is. “He’s a little stalker. Still. Stole it and copied it.”

“We need to change the locks,” Joseph says, getting up immediately to get going. “Who knows what they’re after. You- you need a protective detail. We need to up security.”

Next to him Hood startles, looking surprised. Then he laughs and waves him away: “Nah, nah, no worries, Joseph. No worries. The Bats ain’t after us.”

“They broke into your home,” Joseph feels the need to point out, because that’s a very important and very worrying detail.

“Just Robin. And just to move my shit and eat my leftovers, which is fuckin’ rude, he has his own chef at home, I have to cook all by myself and it isn’t like he chips in for the groceries,” Hood complains, while Joseph just stares at him, bug eyed.

After a beat, Joseph says: “Uhm, boss, I- uh, I hafta ask. How- how close are ya to the Bats, because that ain’t normal. No- uh no ‘fence.”

“Batman can go suck a dick and Robin needs to go back to school,” Hood scowls. “Kid shouldn’t be out here and I’m not talkin’ to the old man. But he’s a persistent little shit, I haven’t shaken him yet. Doesn’t look like I will.”

That answers absolutely nothing, but does tell Joseph that he doesn’t really want to know, because his brain is putting things together, but not things he wants to think about, because if he thinks about it, he might realize that his boss is a teen and he doesn’t think he can handle the mental weight of knowingly working for a teen.

So, Joseph follows another unspoken rule of the goon and henchpeople underworld and keeps his mouth shut when the boss is spewing nonsense.

He already has a kid to raise, he doesn’t want to think about raising his boss and by the sounds of it, the boss already got people looking after him. Even if they annoy him. Joseph is just going to be grateful about that and ignore the rest.

And pray each Sunday in the Church he doesn’t go to anymore that Hood is gonna keep missing the kid when he shoots. He hasn’t faced that sort of wrath from the Bat yet and he doesn’t plan on ever doing so.

Best to keep his head down and follow all the unspoken rules. Next time he’s smoking alone or with more people than just the boss. He has his blood pressure to think about.

[grapejuicebrat]

brutal part 3

PAIRING: neighbour!harry x reader

SYNOPSIS: even though you don’t love me, just tell me you love me.

WARNINGS: mentions of kissing, another guy and another girl, sexual tension in the end but it’s not really a warning.

WORD COUNT: 1220

NOTES: this took me so long and i’m so sorry!

[wicked games, the weeknd]

brutal masterlist

“what’s up, harry”

“yeah, something happened?”

“no, nothing. just wanted to check on you. everything is okay? i’m worried about you”

“why would i not be okay? im just so busy, you know?”

“yeah, i understand, baby. do you think you’ll be able to have a dinner with me? i miss you so much.”

“yeah, why not? in our favourite restaurant tomorrow?”

“yes! that would be great”

“i’ll pick you up at 8. that would work for you”

“of course! can’t wait for tomorrow. love you, baby”

“yeah, good night, hon”.

i mean he couldn’t be so perfect. of course something was wrong with harry and guess what. yeah, harry does have a girlfriend. and no she isn’t some kind of a bitch or a mean girl. sarah is such a sweet pie with doe eyes and a big heart. but for harry this relationship were dead from the very beginning.

they met in college, through mutual friends and it was like love from the first sight. for sarah at least. harry at that time wasn’t even interested in a relationship. especially in a long distance relationship. but for some reason he couldn’t just say no to sarah after a one night stand because she was deeply in love with him. sadly she still is. even tho he treats her like shit.

you know what i mean? he couldn’t think about her anymore after he met you. you weren’t a bad girl. in fact, you are such a copy of sarah. you have those big eyes and you are so naive. so delicate and so sweet. and you were sexy. like the sexiest thing about you is that you don’t even try to be sexy. you wouldn’t let some random guy to touch you in different places and that’s what harry liked about you the most.

well, actually, sarah isn’t his girlfriend. like harry didn’t tell her yet but personally he thinks that he is single by now. and by the way, sarah could found some new guy to fuck. of course, she could. it’s not like harry would be against this. i mean, they live in different states and she has every right to build her life without harry. harry definitely wouldn’t survive without sex for this long. and this makes him a shitty person, he understands this but whatever. it’s not like you would ever find out about this. at least harry doesn’t plan to tell you about sarah.

harry didn’t plan to tell you about sarah but now, he doesn’t have to. you already know this. you didn’t mean to go to this fucking restaurant at all. you were just craving some pasta so you went to nearest restaurant and boom! there he was. harry with some friend, or with some girl friend. or that’s what you wanted to think. you stayed near this restaurant for more than twenty minutes just to make sure that this cute, pretty girl isn’t his actual girlfriend. but i guess friends don’t kiss like that. and harry wouldn’t grab her ass like that if she was just a friend.

something broke inside you. you heard a crack and everything went dark just in one second. well, of course you aren’t his girlfriend and you aren’t his mother to tell him what to do. but he could at least tell you that he has a girlfriend and you wouldn’t let him flirt with you. you wouldn’t let him invite you to come over. you wouldn’t think that you two could be something more than just friends. you thought that this type of guy is only in teen movies. a playboy and a quite girl. but in this movies, in the end, they were together and in love and shit.

“hey, you alright?” you turn your head and see a blonde guy, looking really worried.

“yeah, uh n-no” you didn’t really feel a tear. and you didn’t feel another tear streaming down your face. you wished you could just teleport to your apartment and just lay on your bed and cry in peace. but instead you chose to watch this love birds kissing each other with such a passion.

some part of you wished that it was you standing next to harry.

“i’m patrick” a guy suddenly said, shyly smiling.

“i’m y/n. sorry, my face is a mess” you laughed, nodding your head.

“no, it’s not. you’re pretty even with tears, trust me” he looked at you and laughed “sounded a little bit creepy, didn’t it?”

“i like weird things patrick, so it’s okay” you smiled turning fully to patrick and slowly forgetting about harry and this girl standing beside you.

“i heard that some piece of chocolate would make your day better. do you want to check this theory?”

“yeah, i do. but just for you to know, you’ve already made my evening much better”

and it was totally true. patrick did really changed your evening. and the next three months tho.

“will you please stop for a second? give me just five minutes and i’ll explain myself”

“no, i don’t want to hear anything, harry” you turned your head to him. “ maybe three months ago i wanted to hear that she doesn’t mean anything but now i understand that you don’t even need to explain yourself. i’m just your neighbour who’ve smoked with you and told you about my childhood. that’s all. we’ve never even been friends.” you smile and nodding once again, started to go upstairs faster, trying to get away from him but harry’s next words stop you.

“yeah, you’re right, we weren’t friends. but we both know that we aren’t just some neighbours. i’ve always found you attractive, and i bet you thought about fucking me. there is nothing stopping us by now, we can start again. forget about everything and try again” harry’s face was so close to you. you can feel his breath on your face, his green eyes are looking you with some kind of hope and some part of you wanted to tell him that he is right and you need to try again but another part of you was smarter and much colder. if man cheat once, he would cheat again. and harry, well he is harry. he won’t change himself just for you.

“we can’t. i have a boyfriend and i love him” you made a step away from harry, looking right into his eyes.

“do you love him?” he asked you quietly.

“what?”

“you heard me”. harry’s voice is much stronger now. he makes a step to you and you stay right were you are, thinking about his question. “do. you. love. him?” making a pause after every word, harry tried to look into your eyes one more time, trying to get an answer.

“we’ve only been dating for a month. i can’t say that i love him but that doesn’t mean that i…”

“that’s what i thought” harry makes a step back, smiling proudly.

“what are you talking about” you ask him, watching him giggle.

“you don’t love him.”

“that’s not true” you shake your head, biting your lip.

“okay. look into my eyes and tell me that you love him. if you do, then i’ll never ever disturb you again”.

share your thoughts for this one!

if you would like to be added to my taglist leave a comment or let me know by sending me in my ask.

TAGS: @daphnesutton @hcqwxrtss123

[astronomical-bagel]

I wanna hear you talk about chilchuck the most that sure is a guy ever

YAY I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY GUY THANK YOU BELOVED MUTUAL KYSOOT 

(Warning for lots of spoilers from chapter 30 of the manga (right after the red dragon))

Anyways fun fact! The thing that made chilchuck my favorite character was actually when he was trying to convince senshi to lie to the Laios and Marcille in order to get them to turn back and give up on finding falin. I made a whole post about it too, i LOVE cowards. I was reading in my car waiting my twin to get off work and i was screaming my head off the whole time because it was such a good revelation about his character.

And it’s not that i love scared guys (i do, absolutely, but chilchuck doesnt apply here), and its not that i love disloyal people (i also do, but once again, not the point), its the whole character arc where it goes:

1. Once he reaches a limit for how much danger he is willing to be in he will break any moral code of his to keep himself safe. He will lie, he will abandon his friends, whatever, so long as he makes it out alive. 

2. But THEN, he realizes that his want for safety isn’t just for himself, this time. He realizes that he wants his friends to survive as well. (and that he has gotten way more attached than what was in his job description)

(look how fond he is!!!! Look how fond he is!!!!!! Im banging my head on the wall AWUGHH!!!!)

So 3. He is forced to go against his own nature of secrecy and being reserved and has to tell the team outright that he doesn’t want them to die.there is just something sooo *vague waving of hands* about a guy who absolutely hates talking about his feelings being forced to do so auughhhh. And he did it to convince Laios to not be reckless and get himself killed!!!!

That entire chapter had such a good journey through chilchuck’s emotional state. From him beign 100% ready to trick them in order to turn around (even contemplating breaking marcille’s staff!), then reminiscing on the fun or brave moments that theyd just had, then remembering that he was mad at them for being idiots and doubling down on his decision. When talking to that orc woman (Leed), he was trying to convince himself that his actions were justified, not just her. 

And I also quite like the moment when Leed realizes that Chilchuck isn’t angry at the others for putting him in danger, but for putting themselves in danger. Chilchuck didn’t realize this himself yet! Him saying that he wished the others would give up, even when he was removed from the equation, makes Leed realize that he is unselfishly wanting them to turn back so that they would be safe.

And when she points this out, Chilchuck is absolutely gobsmacked and barely even talks for the rest of the trip because he’s too busy thinking over this revelation. Love a guy who keeps to himself being forced to reconcile with the fact that he has actual friends he cares about now. Look at him!! Hes so shocked he doesn't even know what do to with himself !!! I love him!!!

And also, another part i really liked abt this chapter is when chilchuck is trying to convince Laios to go back and he’s like “LISTEN i know you are absolutely terrified for your sister but I have THREE PEOPLE TO WORRY ABOUT AND IM NOT USED TO THAT IM GOING TO VOMIT” its just so silly and endearing to me because he really isn’t used to caring about so many people at once – he’s a reserved guy who has been living alone for multiple years! – and its just so important to me because he’s been forced to acknowledge that he cares about his team so hes like “if you guys put yourself in mORE danger im going to scream and cry and throw up SO YOU BETTER TURN BACK NOW PLEEEAASEE”

Anyways, chapter 30 was so well done and was an absolutely fascinating insight into his character and I was instantly obsessed. There’s a lot of other reasons why I like Chilchuck, but this chapter is the definitive reason why he’s my favorite. (I also just like seeing a guy when he’s terrified, sue me.)

[wundersmith-squall]

ramble about your Ezra Squall redemption arc please?

Absolutely- id be very happy to! I'm quite aware that im about to sound like this:

but you asked so this is what you signed up for /j

Soooooooo it basically wormed its way into my head because of the one time where Squall said something like 'We're wundersmiths we take all of the blame and none of the credit' and I was like, okay sir are you speaking from experience? What was the 'credit' of your actions? And also the mention of the shared enemy, which I at the time took as meaning partially something in the republic that threatens Nevermoor, and partially something to do with the system, the Wunderous Society and like, all the people in charge who are against wundersmiths and are trying to hold Mog back.

Along with these two things, I'd like to think that 100+ years of banishment are long enough to rethink your actions and become a better person.

So, I'll explain it in a way that wont take an entire essay to write out. Basically it goes in my head that, Courage Square was, at least partially an accident, and over 100 years the story got skewed, and the current population turned against Ezra and the Wundersmiths, while the population at the time knew how, Wundersmiths ultimately were trying to help Nevermoor. Courage Square was bad, which is why Ezra was banished, but he wasnt killed. After a tragedy, it would be expected that he'd be punished, but at the time, the Republic as we know it didnt exist, and so being banished out there was a very bad fate, but it was definitely better than death.

Ezra went through a, lot of bad mental states during the first few decades of his banishment, but as he grew older, he came to terms with both his past actions and his current situation, though he still feels guilty about it.

In my head, the Wundersmiths were originally established to protect Nevermoor from the weird creatures of the darkness that the Wunderous Society takes care of now. Those creatures are attracted to Wunder. When Ezra was banished from Nevermoor, there were no longer any Wundersmiths in there, and so WunSoc had to step up and find a way to cover for him. Meanwhile, Ezra, who still loves Nevermoor, establishes Squall Industries, partially to improve conditions in the Republic and partially to provide a bigger, brighter beacon of wunder to attract the majority of the dangerous creatures to a place where he could still handle them. In this same thought, the Hunt of Smoke and Shadow werent something he created, but a group of these dangerous creatures that he managed to tame.

On the same subject are the other cursed children, those who, gather wunder but are unfortunately dont have the gift to control it. The creatures of the darkness, who chase wunder, hunt down these children to take the wunderous energy from them, which they dont survive. Ezra does his best in this situation, but one man can only do so much, and the creatures are relentless.

When he first discovers Morrigan, he's not exactly sure what to do. He tries to just get her as an apprentice through the usual means in the republic, but after a certain mad ginger got in the way he sent the Hunt after her, himself being busy trying to help the other cursed children, but we all know that that attempt didnt work. Ezra, knowing about the wunder critical-mass gather-too-much-without-using-it-makes-bad-things-happen thing, so he used the gossamer to get back into Nevermoor.

Having to enter and view Nevermoor again, even though not physically, took a bit of a toll on him, plus having to interact with someone new while being himself, which is not something he's had to do in a long time. He's also never, had to teach anyone before.

From there, I imagine he goes from frustrated and angry, to irritated but starting to get attached to Mog, to actually being a genuinely good teacher (aka the floof you saw in my drawing, who doesnt sleep nearly enough but still tries his best to be a good person), who is Tired™ and also just as chaotic as Jupiter when he wants to be.

Thank you for listening to my ramble- I can happily expand on anything if anyone happens to like this train of thought. I have further specifics on, basically everything, but this is a solid overview.

[arinzu]

Royal blue lock titles

Blue lock characters as royal titles!? i will only do Team Z here and in part 2 ill do the other teams! this is obvi a mulri chapters, i will not mention manga spoilers that's why there status are low/not high like they would in the manga :D

Fluff, more fluff there's no actual love interest, and i might make a fanfic next month about them! just ask and your wish is my command, this is honestly like fantasy since i will involve mages, healing magic, etc etc... :D

Team Z!

Isagi Yoichi! :

He was a baron but then transcend to being count/earl, it is due to pledging his loyalty to the emperor (and also became quite useful) which grand him a higher status in the economy!

Bachira Meguru :

Was a viscount that got a higher status by having an successful business (selling paintings) that got him status count/earl, He befriended isagi when they were at a party!

Kunigami Rensuke :

Was a knight that earned Marquess by entering multiple battlefields and being the Emperors' most trusted knight, he was a hero that saved millions of people in the kingdom. Until... (manga spoilers!)

Chigiri Hyoma :

He is a marquess, went to war with Kunigami as a defender for an army, he didn't do much for the majority of the first wave until he finally left go of his trauma of running. He defeated 2 brothers and a few others, which ended up making them victorious of the war.

Gin Gagamaru :

Was a commoner that went to war as a defender, due to this he had gotten a noble title!

Jingo Raichi :

the same as gagamaru! yet it took him a couple of tried to get a noble title

Gurimu Igarashi :

A priest's son, that went to war he is known as the lowest ranking knight in the kingdom that keeps surviving ever war!

Wataru Kuon :

Was a viscount that got executed for treason, he gave the enemies the crucial information to win the war so he could be by their side to rule the kingdom.

Asahi Naruhaya :

A nobleman (lord) that fell of the ranking then died as a commoner in a war leaving his family. (he went to war so his siblings could get their title back... they did, but at what cost?)

Yudai Imamura :

A commoner that wanted to marry a noblewoman (That ended up in failure, it ended up in his getting assassinated)

Okuhito Iemon :

A knight that died in a war, he was one of the last line defenders.

BONUS!

Shidou Ryusei :

A duke that was fighting to get the grand duke title his opponent was rin itoshi, yet he was choosen by sae itoshi to get the grand duke title. In which he thank him by trying to marry him.

he is known to be a demon in the face of danger.

he is also known as the unholy demon (by the priests) , freaky demon, zesty demon, due to his reputation of flirting with sae itoshi in public and fighting in many wars

OMG I LOVE THIS SMSM

im so proud of myself by maing this fic!

creds to owners : divirders 1 and dividers 2

[spideyhexx]

KIIIIIIIT I saw bull run last night and I know you don't want any spoilers so I'll just say that Tom is such a great comedic actor his mannerisms had me dying I can def see guys making sigma edits of Bobby dfjkdfjd

I feel like the comedy is very dudebro-esque if that makes sense 😭 it reminded me of an early 2000s comedy but slightly tamer. There's quite a few crude jokes but none that are like, overly offensive. I can def see why they called it an existential comedy, tho. Hope this isn't too spoiler-ish but all of the characters are very unhappy with their lives and their choices in career. Tom breaks the fourth wall a lot and one of the cast members said it reminded him of Ferris Bueller in that aspect and I have to agree that's the best comparison.

According to the director, there was a lot of improv and two of the cast members discussed which scenes they improvised during. I would've loved to know which scenes Tom did improv during but he wasn't there lmao :( the director also spoke about wanting to release a director's cut bc they had to cut a bunch of stuff out that he wanted to keep but there wasn't any word on when the movie will be released formally.

Overall, the movie was really good! I was worried it would be too much like wolf of wall street but it kept its focus on how people in the finance world are just trying to survive. It lowkey made me feel sorry for people who work in finance cause the film portrays it as such a cutthroat and hectic business. I can't wait for yall to meet Bobby he was a bit of a social climbing wreck (affectionate) but so much fun! (btw i'm sorry if this is too long 😭)

anon I love you so deeply for this I wanna give you a SMOOCH

100% expected dude bro comedy but comparing to 2000s comedy is so fucking interesting im down and the ferris bueller thing is interesting too

I’m so happy the fourth wall break thing is real I LOVE a good fourth wall break

and that is interesting about the improv!!!! I would be curious about tom, didn’t he like teach an improv thing at a camp😭im sure he’s great at it

Also none of this is too spoiler-ish, that’s actually so intriguing, it seems like it’s kinda satirical of the finance world but correct me if I’m wrong on that???

sad no word on how it’ll release formally but it seems like it’s getting somewhere at least so😭

NOT TOO LONG AT ALL i needed to see a more in depth review THANK YOU and I can’t wait to meet bobby too😭and your mention of Tom’s mannerisms just HES SO GOOD AT RHEM I NEED TO SEE IN A COMEDIC SENSE

[daisyvisions]

please elaborate on the free use thoughts im a big fan -🍓

phew.. okay here it goes (mind you this is one of my OT11 ideas but just a thought I never actually wrote it):

Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), mentions of poly! acts, sexual favors, etc.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

imagine one of your friends is from tbz (let's say Kevin) who happens to come from a frat house called TBZ. You find out eventually that the frat house is going to start accepting girls so you ask Kevin if you could join. So one day you're invited to have a lil chat with their president Sangyeon to discuss certain responsibilities about being the founding member for the sorority counterpart.

But the moment you step foot in the house... all the other members can't seem to stop staring at you, quietly cursing Kevin on the side on why he'd never mentioned being friends with a literal goddess.

And during your chat with Sangyeon he couldn't seem to concentrate at all, getting lost in your eyes as you would look at him while you talked. Or how some of them like Chanhee and Younghoon would try to lightly touch your arm, shoulders, etc., How Eric would ask you some rather... personal questions during dinner.

And when you leave all the members gather to literally gush about you. But eventually they have to get into the business of how your initiation will go (you're entering a frat / sorority after all).

Kevin doesn't know who brought it up (most likely Sunwoo & Hyunjae), but your initiation would be a bit different...

Let's just say they all agreed that instead of the traditional hazing they've all gone through... you'd have to pass a series of tests that each member will give you and well... these tests? they're in the realm of sexual acts and favors 😏

Just think: getting spanked, seeing how far you can go without coming, making a member come quick, letting another member kiss you all over, surviving being edged for hours, riding a member's face, being sandwiched between two members, etc.

And because the older members will use their "older member" privileges, the series of tests will go by youngest to eldest of course!

In short? Yeah, a series of "tests" to see if you're really fit to be part of their house that's all. Nothing too harmful and well... is quite pleasurable on both ends 😮‍💨

[not-the-citadel-official]

okay, so, we're trying out a new format with this one. instead of screenshots, i'm going to copy paste the messages, for ease of reading.

this one is pretty important to the ongoing plots of @msc137, @presidentpawn, and @primessrick, so i really would recommend reading it! i'm sure a fair amount of this is going to show up later, here on tumblr.

#group-chat

Skittle: said this in #group-chat-2, but i dont think ryan saw it,

there are some people that really muddle the clarity of the whole "anti primess" movement

Primess: Yes thank you for your input Not-Grandson. Don't you have a bar to drink through?

Skittle: yeah im really slacking off on my duties.

Primess: As long as you are aware.

Whatever Effie sees in your pathetic presence we shall never know.

Skittle: i dont know either tbh

Primess: And you still always seek new ways to disappoint her?

Skittle: seems like it. its just a matter of time at this point really

Pawn (in response to Primess): Do you ever shut up? Do you truly lack the capability to acknowledge when nobody wants to hear from you? Are you so desperate for attention that you bring back everything you've already done in order to live out your former "glory" ?

Pawn: You're disgusting. If the only low hanging fruit you can find is scraps from past encounters, you have long since deserved to starve.

Skittle: oh. woah.

Primess: Careful, little Pawn. Your amusement will run its course, and unlike little 'Skittle', who we still find entertaining and will continue surviving our tender mercies. You will find out how unfortunate our games can be to those toys we wish to throw away.

Pawn: I don't play for your amusement. I don't fear you, nor have I been given a true reason to. You are nothing but a parasite, you leech off whatever you can get your hands on and pretend you're the monster. You may be powerful, but that doesn't make up for your weakness in every other place.

Pawn: What you do is none of my business, but it's becoming sad to watch. You're desperate for pieces of past experiments, and they are long past finished. Pretend to be important as long as it makes you feel better, but know your act is transparent.

Skittle: im. i. i think i need a minute. ill be right back.

Primess: ... It is truly quite an accomplishment to render us speechless... But how else are we meant to react when we see a fool attempt to fistfight the Sun. Your pathetic attempts to psychoanalyse us fail as you try to attribute what we do to human natures, little mortal you can not even begin to understand our mind; thinking so otherwise makes you even more adorably naive than every other Morty we see.

Primess: But please. If it makes your pathetic life have some meaning, leap into the maw, try and flail. It only serves to remind us how weak and lowly you truly are.

Pawn: You'll have that connection to humanity forever, whether you like it or not. You may be inhuman, but you started as a Rick, and that will forever your baseline. When stripped of what makes you 'special', you go back to being somebody who can only thrive off of seeing somebody do worse than you. I would say it's sad to watch if anybody cared enough to do so.

Pawn: You're not above as much as you think you are, and the day it happens, I hope to watch you fall much like Icarus. You are beyond your depth, in every way.

Primess: For a moment she watches Pawn in silence. Until a cruel laugh erupts from her throat.

How utterly adorable you are—adorable and insignificant. Be grateful for it. It is the only thing keeping that loveless little fluttery thing in your chest, actually in your chest. For now atleast.

As for your hopes, by all means, pray to non-existent gods and hope to the universe that abandoned you long ago for all you wish. But the way we see it, your dreams are as pointless as you are.

Pawn: My heart keeps beating because I make it so. If you had any say over that, I would bother to watch my tongue around you. I don't respect you, nor do I fear you. Your opinion of me matters less than it does any man I'd see on the side of the road, you're no more than a vulture to me.

Pawn: You aren't to be feared, and you do nothing but act as a fool when you pretend to be as much. You are vermin, the dirt on the cosmic heel.

#mortys-1

Skittle: um, hey. pawn, uh. thanks.

Pawn: Don't thank me.

Pawn: It's not necessary.

Skittle: ...

Skittle: i think it is

Pawn: It's really not.

Pawn: If it... helps, you're welcome.

Skittle: :)

Skittle: i mean. it is necessary. im sure you know how shitty ive been feeling lately. it was, well, it felt really nice for someone to say something to her when she started to dig into me.

Pawn: It's not just you. She needs to be taught what her place is.

Skittle: i know

Pawn: What she pretends to be is far from where she actually stands, and she looks foolish picking on an already ill teenager.

Skittle: still

Pawn: I don't need to be thanked. Others should be standing up when you can't more often.

#group-chat

Primess: Her eyes blaze Oh, poor little toy. Perhaps we were too lenient. Your heart did beat because we allowed you to have it so... Such a pity it won't do so again. At her final word Pawn's heart stops, the agony in his chest is instant.

By our count, you have 20 seconds to beg for your life.

Skittle: shitshitshit pawn it isnt worth it please apologize to her

Primess: By all means little fool die upon the floor then. Perhaps others will learn to hold their tongue

Primess (in reply to Skittle): Once again you get other people hurt Not-Grandson

Skittle: please please dont kill him

Skittle: please

Primess: Tsk tsk. We thought you said so long ago you wouldn't do any deals with us again

Primess: Either we get a deal, an apology or a corpse

Skittle: im fucking weak, okay? im not gonna let you kill him. what do you want from me?

Primess: Another favour, another game when we choose. Don't worry it won't be the same as last time.

Pawn: The pain that flooded his system instantly made Pawn clutch his chest, eye squeezing shut. He tried to wave off Morty, biting down on his lip to prevent crying out in pain, near keeling over. 20 seconds was up too quickly, the boy collapsing on the ground.

Skittle: and no one gets physically hurt?

Skittle: fuck

Skittle: deal

Skittle: i cant make demands right now just please dont kill him

Primess: Do you really think you deserve that kindness this time?

Skittle: fine whatever just please

Primess: Good choice. At the snap of her fingers Pawn's heart starts beating again... not a moment too soon

Pawn: When brought back, Pawn's body twitched, heavy gasping and coughing bringing him back to awareness. For a moment, he sat still on the floor, eye widened as he stared down at himself on the floor. Without speaking, he stood and used his gun to send himself somewhere else. Anywhere but there.

Primess: ... Skittle

Skittle: ...hi.

Primess: He does that ever again, we will rip his heart out of his chest and feed the bloodied mess to him. Make sure he knows it.

Skittle: okay

#mortys-1

Skittle: god fucking damn it

Skittle: no one ever give a shit about me again. please

Skittle (linking to #group-chat-1): this is what happens when you do

Skittle: fuck

Skittle: fuck

False Morty: im pretty sure that happened because it was a long time coming

False Morty: shouldve let him die

Skittle: he went out of his way to defend me to her and she almost fucking killed him.

Skittle: fuck you

False Morty: im just saying! this is not the first fight hes caused

Skittle: but its the first fight hes caused on my behalf

False Morty: the guy practically looks for a fight whenever he can get it

Skittle: and this is the fight that almost killed him

Skittle: the one where he was defending me

#group-chat-1

Adult!Showrunner Morty: * walks in holding a smoke wearing a cover all, looks at this shit * ...oh * leaves *

-----

what an eventful morning! let me know what you think of the format!

kisses, @thoughts-and-gayers!

[whumpbug]

hi bug, it's tea! could i ask for 💌, 🔪, and 🌲 for Simon and Archie?

HI TEA!!! you ABSOLUTELY can ask for them!

all these questions are so fun OMG im excited to get into it. ok here we go.

💌 — romance/flirting

full disclaimer. both of these guys are kind of disasters at romance. its part of the reason they work together. its Silly.

simon. my sweet, baby, darling simon. he wouldn't know flirting if it decked him square in the face. not only is he unaware of when others are flirting with him, he is also unaware of when he is inadvertently flirting with others. unfortunately, he is Quite gorgeous, and his quiet, blunt, Mysterious demeanor has many people intrigued and attracted to him and he is completely oblivious to it. hell, he's oblivious that archie likes him that way until he straight up says it (which is a fic for the future. not yet. they are still Pining.) he's completely hopeless.

archie is similar but in the opposite way. he is so friend shaped. he sees everyone else as friend shaped too. the idea of romance doesn't even cross his mind when meeting someone, he just gets excited to meet new people. this poses a problem when he is out in the city as Vigil because. well imagine a cute, blonde, bubbly, masked Dude saves you and smiles at you in just that right way. you'd fall in love too. the problem lies in the fact that people just. declare their love to him. right to his face. and archie is just like "aw thanks so much! get home safe!" and Never sees them again. he isn't even aware it was a romantic encounter.

the two together are a seperate thing entirely. they are both painfully, ridiculously aware of their feelings for the other but have NO idea how to express it or what to do about it so they just. ignore it. try to pass it off as a really close friendship. they are fooling no one.

bonus content! their love languages:

simon: acts of service (a surprise to no one)

archie: physical touch and words of affirmation (again, who is surprised)

🔪 — melee weapons

like i mentioned in the previous post, simon isn't really well-versed in any weapons because he is a Simple Civilian Med Student. the only technical melee weapon he is good with is a kitchen knife, he can mince like nobody's business, but tell him to attack? he is fumbling. he can't fight to save his life.

archie doesn't really use weapons in his fighting style either, he focusing on disarming and incapacitating. However. he can and will use a weapon if he really needs to, and his weapons of choice are escrima sticks because theyre effective and relatively non-lethal. he is Very good with them because he practiced them a TON when he was a kid (it was a great way to relieve stress) so yeah! archie weapon lore drop!

🌲 — surviving in the wilderness

im going to answer this as if they were surviving on their own, without the other because. together would be very different.

i think simon would actually be relatively alright on his own. physically, at least. mentally is a different story. but he is a practical guy, and he was an EMT in highschool so he at least knows a lot of emergency first-aid if he were to get hurt. he's cautious, calculated, and i think he'd manage to survive for at least a few weeks on his own with his knowledge of medicine and also just. general stuff

archie would be a different story. i feel like he'd just. panic. he's used to being able to punch his way out of problems and go home to a safe, warm apartment, not being stuck in the middle of nowhere. he is a city boy, through and through. he is not made for the wilderness. he wouldn't last a day. he'd get sad, reckless, and panicked. someone get this boy out of there

thank you so much for the question tea!!!!!!!!! these were so fun especially the first one!!! i hope you enjoy!!!

[clowntown0129]

RRAAARAGGAHAGHh

in other words, heres a list of twst characters and what kind of lives they would have in project moon the City! im set on most of these but would love feedback on what other people think 🥰🥰🥰 more under cut because good lord. still need to think of the districts they all live in 😭

HEARTSLABYUL

the Adeuce duo dont realize it but they end up working at the same Allas workshop and often get into trouble despite Deuce trying to be a good employee and make his mom happy:( Ace says fuck that. glove with the power of a small tornado to face

Trey being a baker in district K but unfortunately gets caught up in more syndicate business than he would like to admit (he still lives a normal ordinary life he promises)

Cater being a plain office worker in and hates his job but god damnit if he isnt gonna act like he looooves it!! he often gets called up often by Seven assoc. members because hes got connections to get info quick. also once did a totally legal experiment for a totally not shady organization where he was promised money but instead just snuck out with four clones of himself that all live in a friends like scenario in his (their??) apartment but would kill each other if it comes down to it. how the Head hasnt found out yet boggles him every day

Riddle being a super strict office manager thats studying to become a judge (weird ties with a syndicate?? at the very least knows azul)

SAVANNACLAW

Leona being the second son of a super important family that runs a huge company but hating constantly being in second so he runs away and starts his own syndicate (NAME PENDING idk if i just want to call it savannaclaw that seems…lazy). everyone in his syndicate all get metal prosthetics to make them look like animals. leona ofc has his own lion ears and legs.

Ruggie being part of a very poor family in the backstreets and having to do everything to survive including eating corpses on the streets before the sweepers can get to them. worked at Pierre’s Bistro for a bit before he quit and joined Leona’s syndicate because it seemed more stable. if he hadnt found Leona’s syndicate and made a somewhat better life for himself, he mightve gotten kidnapped by a sweeper and turned into one himself. he tries not to think about it

Jack coming from the same district as Vil but hearing about Leona’s syndicate and more specifically Leona—thinking that this guy is super cool and strong to take others under his wing!! he joins the syndicate and slowly realizes that this kinda fucking sucks

OCTAVINELLE

Azul and the tweels running a restaurant called the Mostro Lounge but it’s actually just a front covering the fact that it’s often used as neutral grounds between different syndicates for deal making. along with that, the three take on jobs like they do in game and all have hidden prosthetics that let them turn into their merforms at will. Azul doesnt like using it often because it makes him kinda clanky

SCARABIA

Kalim being one of many heirs to either a huge company or like an actual ruling family (districts similar to district S im looking at you) and having not yet been exposed to all the horrors of the City yet

Jamil being a butler sworn to Kalim ever since birth. he has some sorta equipment on his legs that emits smoke to temporarily blind his opponents along with typical butler equipment

POMEFIORE

Epel being a (begrudgingly) recent Cinq assoc. fixer who actually finds the dueling aspect pretty fun. he doesnt like how Vil gets him to act cute afterwards even when theres literally blood on his clothes

Rook being a Shi assoc. fixer originally but joining Cinq assoc. when he sees Vil his beauty his grace his Roi du Poison his most precious wecious pookie be—

Vil being a director of a sub section for Cinq assoc. along with being a fashion model. a guilty pleasure he often indulges himself in is being a hero—the last one on the stage—as he wins another duel for the day

IGNIHYDE

Ortho being a robot built in his image after he died right after White Nights and Dark Days. one of his core parts is a memory chip with all his memories locked into it using Jcorp tech

Idia being the heir to a company called Tartaros—its original purpose just being viewing over workshops and making their own specialized equipment. now its purpose is to gather any rogue abnormalities and lock them up to be studied

DIASOMNIA

Silver and Sebek being Claws in (suspended) training that work as Malleus’ bodyguards. they both have the Claw arms but only have access to one serum each—Sebek with a serum that makes him lightning fast and Silver with a serum that stores and multiplies his power every time he falls asleep

Lilia being a bloodfiend that was captured by the Head and has been serving as their one man army ever since. hes been semi retired to act as Malleus’ caretaker and constantly uses tech to make his bloodfiend traits less noticable

Malleus being the son of ????. all the higher ups want him either want him completely under their control to use or dead and honestly either plan is still on the table. since hes naturally in his dragon form and the Head hate non-humans, theyve forbidden him from shapeshifting into his human form else they kill him. he sneaks out often in his human form anyway with the other diasomnia guys using a mask similar to Roland’s mask to make perceiving him as Malleus impossible to do

i should come up with all the equipment and enhancements these guys have. holy shit

[landslided]

Idea: Lawrusso butch4butch cowboy lesbians

the noise i just let out should be studied by scientists. yes ❤️ absolutely

im historically not an expert on cowboys (my friend is tho) so all my ideas and inspiration come from westerns but im thinking:

danielle larusso is new in the area. her mother brought a decrepit ranch with all of their economies and they’re now trying to give it a second life. in doing so they meet mr miyagi, an old man living not far away from the ranch but quite isolated from the others in town. he takes care of cattle and he’s very polite and very kind to danielle and lucille (who have had to deal with their share of sexist assholes since danielle’s dad died). lucille makes business with him to buy some of his cattle and they decide to actually start working together. she invites him to dinner one evening and he never really leaves. he helps her and danielle fix the ranch and also starts teaching danielle how to take care of cattle and especially horses. danielle doesn’t really have her own horse yet but she wants one very badly and so miyagi offers her a beautiful palomino mare for her birthday.

one morning, danielle goes in the barn to take care of her horse and sees another horse already there. a black american quarterhorse and behind it is hidden a bruised and bleeding johnny lawrence. johnny is an outlaw. she used to be a rich girl back in town. her mother had married the mayor of the town when she was a young girl and johnny was promised to marry one of his rich (and old) friends but she fled and instead she joined a group of outlaw who commit petty crimes to survive. she and the other cobras had just done a heist when they were separated while running away and she was shot in the back. she didn’t know where to go. she saw the barn in the horizon and decided to hide there until the police lost her tracks but with the blood loss she fell asleep and didn’t manage to leave the barn before morning.

danielle brings her back home and nurses her back to health (but at the same time she wonders if she should throw her out because johnny is 1) a criminal 2) a fugitive 3) a huge bitch). a little after johnny gets back on her feet, the cobras come and meet her and tell her that they all need to split up for a while because the sheriff is after them, johnny gets really worried because she has nowhere to go apart from going back to her house but if she goes back to laura and sid she knows she’ll be married by force. danielle, who cannot keep her nose out of other people’s business, tells johnny she can stay if she starts working on the ranch. which is how johnny ends up training horses with danielle and mr miyagi.

im also imagining slow burn love story between danielle and johnny: fishing trips that end with taking a swim naked in the lake, talks in front of the fire where danielle learns to like johnny and johnny hides how much she wants to kiss danielle, dinners with lucille and mr miyagi who can see what’s going on there, the two of them racing on their horses. just, lots of domestic shit that end abruptly because kreese, another outlaw who helped johnny escape sid, comes to collect what he believes to be johnny’s debt. he wants johnny to work for him, danielle thinks his intentions are a lot darker than that but johnny tells her that he truly helped so that she just needs to pay her debt back and he’ll leave her alone. except kreese doesn’t leave her alone and mr miyagi has to step in. (you know you gotta have a duel in a western).

johnny gets hurt in the crossfire and it makes danielle realize that she’s in love with that blonde meathead. johnny scares them all by staying unconscious a lot longer than last time. the cobras come to visit and they all wait at johnny’s bedside. when she wakes up, bobby tells her that danielle has not moved ever since she’s been hurt and that she should get her head out of her ass and tell the other woman how she feels. danielle comes to see her, johnny thanks her for taking care of her again and they both manage to say i love you at the same time. happy ending, all is well, they train horses on the ranch until they’re old and grey (but still in love).

[hephaestuscrew]

Hi! im relistening to Wolf359 again and upon listening to Pan-Pan(ep29) ive come to notice a bit of a parallel (?) to Need to Know (ep35). Minkowshi not telling the crew about the cracks on the fixtures and how in less than 100 DAYS that the whole station could go down no matter how many repairs they make due to not wanting to add more weight and hopelessness to an already high stressed situation vs Kepler not telling anyone shit bc he doesn't see that as none of their business (I may be overlooking something tho, i have to relisten to that ep once i get off work)

I'm trying to see if there's an actual connection there or am i on my tin foil hat biases again.

Thanks for the ask! I ended up writing far more than I expected about this, so I'll put my response below a cut.

TLDR: Minkowski and Kepler make a similar choice to withhold information, but for very different reasons. Minkowski is motivated by her responsibility to protect her crew. Kepler is motivated by his desire to maintain his own power. This relates to their different ideas about leadership.

I think there's an interesting comparison to the extent that these are both cases in which people in authority positions have to make decisions about who to share critical information with. Minkowski and Kepler both withhold information from their respective crews that is very relevant to their future survival. They both use the phrase "need to know" in their justification for doing this. When Hilbert asks why Minkowski hasn't told them about the cracks, Minkowski's first response is "Because… you didn't need to know." Kepler talks about the idea of 'need to know' quite a bit, but perhaps the most notable instance for this comparison is when he tells Jacobi "That mission parameter [about the potential for alien duplicates] was marked for black archive clearance. Need to know. And you didn't need to know."

But I think the similarities between Minkowski and Kepler's approaches to withholding information pretty much end there. I believe that Minkowski is telling the truth when she says she didn't tell Hilbert and Lovelace about the cracks because they'd "suffered enough". She doesn't tell them because she doesn't want them to lose hope. She doesn't tell them even though, as Hera says, doing so might make wrangling them easier.

For Minkowski, knowing something that she doesn't tell the rest of the crew is something that weighs on her. I think you can hear it in her voice when she tells Hera that she won't tell Hilbert and Lovelace about the cracks "not today". I think you can hear it when she breaks down towards the end of Pan-pan ("Just like the cracks, and the station just keeps falling apart. And there's nothing I can do, and I am sorry.")

In contrast, I don't think we are given any reason to believe that Kepler feels a sense of regret or conflict about the knowledge he doesn't share with the rest of the crew. Of course, he regrets the consequences of losing Jacobi's loyalty and his control of the station. But Kepler's reaction to Jacobi challenging him on his secrecy is focused on standing by his decision and justifying it. Unlike Minkowski, Kepler refers to Goddard rules when defending his decision not to share information. He didn't tell his crew that Lovelace was probably an alien duplicate because he believed that doing so wouldn't have supported his objectives. That's sufficient reason for him.

I think this is actually a good illustration of a key difference between Minkowski and Kepler's attitudes towards leadership. For Minkowski, leadership is first and foremost about responsibility - the responsibility to be a good Commander and keep her crew safe. (Other leadership priorities are more prominent for her early on, but by season 2 I believe that's her primary motivation and I think it's always been a key part of her concept of leadership.) In contrast, for Kepler, leadership is first and foremost about power - the power to push mission progress forward, the power to order and manipulate and threaten in service of the bigger picture. And information is power, so why would he share it if he doesn't have to?

Those contrasting ideas of leadership underlie their choices when they withhold information from their crews. Minkowski doesn't tell her crew everything because she wants to protect them from losing hope. Kepler doesn't tell his crew everything because he wants to be the one holding all the cards - he'll only reveal information to others when doing so supports his aims.

To come back to your original question, I think there's a connection here, but it's less that the writers are deliberately encouraging these comparisons, and more that Minkowski and Kepler are both people in leadership positions in a life-threatening environment, and that inevitably necessitates decisions about who to share information with. And very different leadership priorities can motivate similar choices in not telling people things they would want to know.

[kptssecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @monochrome-crisis!

Dear @monochrome-crisis, I have really enjoyed writing this for you, and I hope you like it. Your prompts were delightful and it was a lot fun playing around with these two. Happy Holidays if you observe, and happy fic-gift-day to you if you don’t! Best, your anon gifter. 

TAGS: established relationship, secret relationship, arranged marriage, road trip, sort of, running away, 

SUMMARY: Chay stands quite still and watches him for several seconds, but it doesn’t help to make the jumble of nonsense words rearrange themselves into useful sentences in his head. 

“I’m sorry,” he says slowly. “An inauspicious start to what, precisely?”

“Why, to your marriage, of course!”

*****

can’t let this wait one more day

It’s Tankhun who accidentally breaks the news to Chay, on a rainy October afternoon when he’d expected to face nothing more challenging than a couple of hours playing the new Spider-Man game. A problem with his XBox has him venturing down to Arm’s office-cum-armoury-cum-tech lab, where he finds Tankhun sitting cross-legged on the floor, cutting pictures of floral arrangements and men in alarmingly colourful suits out of a vertiginously tall stack of bridal magazines. He snips some of them out with painstaking precision, and scratches the scissors angrily across others, his choices made according to some arcane and unknowable criteria. The images that survive his process are passed to Arm, who dutifully and efficiently pastes them down into a pastel pink, faux-fur-covered scrapbook.

“Khun? Is everything… Are you ok?”

“Auhhh! My favourite brother-in-law!” Tankhun cries at a volume that isn’t quite ear-piercing, but is certainly louder than required given the three of them are alone in an echo-y room, and Chay’s ears are less than thirty centimetres away from his mouth. “Everything is so much more than fine! It’s all wonderful! Practically perfect, in fact! Only do say you’ll let me dress you, nong, it would kill me to see you walk down the aisle in someone else’s shoes! And you wouldn’t break my heart like that, hmm, not on your wedding day? It would be a harbinger of so, so much bad luck! Such an inauspicious start, no?!”

Chay stands quite still and watches him for several seconds, but it doesn’t help to make the jumble of nonsense words rearrange themselves into useful sentences in his head. 

“I’m sorry,” he says slowly. “An inauspicious start to what, precisely?”

“Why, to your marriage, of course!”

***

“Nothing is set in stone,” Arm promises him, trying to calm him down while Tankhun flaps off to find Porsche. “It’s just an idea, at this stage, that’s all. Just something that was suggested - really, it’s more like it was vaguely alluded to - at the last family meeting. It doesn’t mean you have to marry anyone you don’t want to.”

The atmosphere in Arm’s little misery-bunker has always been a bit sad, but it’s never felt quite as overwhelmingly damp and awful as this moment in time. 

“I know you mean well, but ‘we might not marry you off against your will’ isn’t actually as reassuring as you seem to think it is,” Chay points out. He’s just pleased he can still form coherent words; that must mean the worst of the panic attack is subsiding.

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Arm says, and Chay tries very hard to find the deeply sympathetic look on his face comforting instead of terrifying. 

***

Chay: hey 

Chay: u busy?

Chay: i need to see u its urgent

Chay: ive run away im at the boba place 

Chay: the one with the cute plants inside where you kissed me that time 

Chay: pls don’t take long they’re cutting me off

not my secret bf: be there in ten

***

Macau picks Chay up in his older brother’s convertible, stolen for the occasion, and drives off without any questions. The extent to which he’s ride-or-die is, in Chay’s opinion, one of his absolute top-ten best traits. At Chay’s request, he heads out of the city, no particular destination in mind. He doesn’t say anything until they’re far enough out they’re relying on headlights, and the sound of rain on the windscreen is louder than the traffic. 

“Whatever happened, it’s ok, babe. I promise.”

“You won’t say that when you know!” Chay cries. “Hia wants me to get married, Cau, it’s really serious!” 

“What?”

“That’s what Arm said. And Khun! I’m sorry, babe, I know he’s your cousin, but also. What the fuck? How could he know something like that and not tell me!” Chay’s voice rises frantically, reaching a fever pitch as he vents his frustration at once again being the last one to find out important information about his life. “Oh my god, what if it’s to some disgusting greasy old man who wants a good little wifey, that Kinn needs to sign some business deal with?” Chay says suddenly, face awash with horror. 

“Ok, first of all,” Macau says, glancing over at Chay from the driver’s seat of with a grin of a distinctly gremlin-y variety creeping across his face, “if Kinn needed someone to sign a contract that badly, he’d just break their fingers until they signed it.”

“That’s not reassuring, Cau.”

“And second of all,” Macau presses on, ignoring Chay’s point completely, “I’m not gonna let you marry anyone else, so it doesn’t matter anyway, hmm?”

“You really think they’ll listen to you?”

Macau frowns, impish grin fading as quickly as it had appeared, and clicks his fingernails on the wheel, the way Vegas really hates. “I dunno. Maybe? And if they don’t, we could just… leave, I guess.”

“I’m not - listen, babe, I love you, but your uncle kept my mum locked away in an attic for eighteen years because she married the wrong guy, so like. I don’t have that much faith in Kinn or Korn or Vegas to be super chill about someone trying to leave the family.” 

Macau shoots him a quick glance, eyes slicking sideways before snapping back to the road. “Well, if you put it like that…”

“Look, you don’t have to come with me,” Chay says, voice laced with grim determination. “I know you – all your family are here, your whole life is here. But I think I have to leave.”

“Ok, ok. But you don’t have to go now,” Macau says. “We can come up with a real plan, take a little time.”

“I can’t go back. I can’t walk back in there. I can’t spend another second there.”

Macau swerves suddenly and pulls up on the side of the road, switching the engine off but leaving the headlights on, so the curtains of thick rain ahead of them are illuminated in their glow. Turning to face Chay, he reaches over and takes his hand, linking their fingers together and squeezing gently. 

“Hey,” Macau says softly, which catches Chay’s attention more than any amount of screaming would have. “I’m sorry my family is such a fucking nightmare. I’m not - of course I’m not gonna make you go back. If you wanna leave tonight and never come back, we can do that.”

“But?” Chay asks nervously. Macau lifts a questioning eyebrow. “It sounded like there was a ‘but’ coming next.”

“Nope,” Macau says easily, shaking his head and letting Chay see the truth shining bright in his eyes. “No ‘but.’ I’d follow you anywhere, Porchay.”

“Cau…” Chay says, releasing the name like an invocation into the night air. 

Macau stares at him, gaze far too intense to bear for long, and then he turns to look out at the road spilling away into the darkness ahead of them. “Chay, you know, we could - if you want - they can’t make you marry anyone if you’re already married.”

“Fuck.” Chay lets out a breath, a long, deep exhalation that carries away half the tension in his whole frame. “How are you so perfect when your family is so…”

“Shit, no idea.” Macau laughs and it’s not pleasant. “This is why I didn’t want to tell them about us. They ruin everything they touch, and I wanted to try and keep you whole as long as possible. So I’d get it, you know, if you don’t want - augh!”

Macau shrieks a little, very bravely, as Chay throws himself across the centre console and clambers eagerly if awkwardly into his lap, winding long slender brown arms around his neck and kissing him fiercely until one of them accidentally jams a knee into the horn. 

***

The hotel is not quite clean enough to be boring, and just a little too rundown to be charming. It’s the last place anyone would ever think to look for them, which means it’s Macau’s new favourite spot. He pays for one room, daring the older man behind the desk to say something about the way he has his arm wrapped around Chay’s waist, fingers tapping out a gentle rhythm on his hips. Chay’s arm is draped over his shoulder in turn, so he can lean easily into his side, soaking up his warmth. 

There’s a horrible pause where the guy hangs on to the key a little too long, and then Macau tips his chin up defiantly. His hand closes around the key and whisks it away from him. 

“We can find it ourselves,” he says. It’s not until they’re halfway down the hallway to their room that he realises the guy had absolutely no intention of helping them with their bags. 

Not that they have bags, per se. Chay has his old school backpack with him, which he’d hurriedly stuffed with a couple of pairs of underwear and some clean socks, a spare power bank for his phone and laptop, and more snacks than Macau’s seen in one place outside of a child’s birthday party. 

Macau, on the other hand, has his phone, battery currently hovering around 19%, and his wallet. 

“I thought,” Chay says defensively, when he catches Macau eyeing his stash, “that I might have to get the bus somewhere.”

Macau shrugs out of his bomber jacket and tosses it haphazardly across the room. “You shut your mouth. My fiancé doesn’t take the fucking bus.” 

“Fiancé,” Chay murmurs to himself, rolling the word around his mouth. “Shit, Cau. Are you sure?”

“I am if you are.” Macau swallows and ignores the too-fast beat of his heart. Chay’s hand wraps around his wrist, fingertips pressing gently against his pulse point. Macau loves his touch so much; he hates why they’re here, but he’d be lying if he said he hates getting this much attention from Chay all at once, after months of existing from one stolen moment to the next.

Macau’s vague idea of showering and then planning the rest of his life is quickly shelved. He’s too busy letting Chay tumble them into bed, rolling over so Chay can pin his wrists and grind his hips down. Chay licks into his mouth and then laughs at the dramatic whine he lets out when he pulls away again too soon. It’s just for show; they both know Chay would never leave him so unsatisfied. 

They make love on scratchy sheets in a cheap hotel on the outskirts of the city, because neither of them could bear to drive any further, because they both need to get their hands on each other, because Chay doesn’t mind being Macau’s dirty little secret but he’s damned if he’ll be anyone else’s husband, and because Macau has had a lifetime of watching his family destroy every good thing that wanders into its path, and he’ll be damned if he lets Chay be their next target. 

As they fall asleep curled into each other, all warm skin and slow breathing, soft lips and steady heartbeats, Chay gives Macau the other reason he couldn’t marry anyone his hia chose for him. “I want to wake up next to you. Tomorrow. All my tomorrows.”

***

Arm wakes Chay gently, shaking his shoulder and stepping back discreetly as his eyes flutter open. Years of practice avoiding the flailing arms of a recently-roused Tankhun, Chay assumes. 

“Shit. How did you find us?” he mumbles, pulling the sheets over his head. 

“I don’t know where to start. You and Khun Macau have about twelve trackers between you, not counting your phones and his credit card.” Arm tugs the sheet away and turns his tablet around; it’s a mass of blinking dots concentrated in a small cluster. 

“Where’s Macau? What have you done to him?” Chay cries when he realises he’s alone in bed. 

“It’s ok, Khun Chay, he’s just getting coffee,” Arm says. He sounds calm, but Chay’s seen him like this before and knows it doesn’t mean he’s not alert.  

“If you try and keep us apart, I’ll scream so loudly that everyone in the hotel’s gonna think you’re murdering me,” Chay says. “I’m a singer, I can do it, phi. My lungs can do things you wouldn’t believe!” He’s aware that he doesn’t look all that threatening, probably, sleep-dopey and with his hair all mussed up, but it’s worth a try. His hia raised Chay very carefully, though, and the second most important lesson he ever taught Chay was not to back down from a fight he believed in.

(The first lesson was not to start fights you can’t win, but Chay is deliberately choosing to ignore that.)

“Ah, no, it’s ok, nong,” Arm says quickly. “Look, here’s Khun Porsche, I’m sure he can explain it all better than I can.”

As the door opens, Chay snorts the snort of a man who has a deep fraternal understanding of Porsche’s ability to explain anything at all. 

“Hia!” Chay leaps off the bed and strides angrily across the room, shoving at Porsche’s shoulder before the door has even swung closed behind him. “You son-of-a-bitch! You couldn’t even tell me to my face, what the fuck!” 

“Chay – ” 

“No! NO!” Chay pushes him again, hot tears of frustration welling in his eyes and making his brother’s face mercifully blurry. “How dare you? I had to find out from Tankhun, of all people?! And it’s not until I leave that you suddenly give a damn what happens to me? Get out of my way, I’m going to find Cau and if you try to stop me, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll. I’ll fucking bite you, I don’t know!” He’s properly crying now, beating his fists uselessly against Porsche’s chest. 

“Chay,” Porsche says again, far more gently this time, and he catches Chay’s wrists before pulling him into a tight hug. “Chay, it’s ok, it’s all ok, I promise.”

“Hia!” Chay squeezes out between loud sobs. “Hia, please.”

“Arm,” Porsche says, craning to speak over Chay’s head. “Arm, I think you need to go fetch Macau now.”

***

“The thing is, Khun Chay, that while the relationship between the major and minor families is much closer these days – ”

“You mean because hia and Khun Kinn can’t keep their hands off each other,” Chay asks. He knows that’s not really why, but it’s funny to see Arm trying to work out how to answer the question in front of Porsche. He’s currently sitting on Macau’s lap, arms wound around his neck, and while he hasn’t actually growled or snapped his teeth at anyone who comes near them, his demeanour is carefully cultivated to suggest that he might.

“Uh, yeah. Yes. That’s not how I’d – but yes, I suppose Khun Kinn and Khun Porsche do have quite a noticeable physical connection,” Arm admits reluctantly. “And it’s good that they’re married. That’s great! But obviously there’s the deposed remnants of the former minor family to consider – oh. Umm. Sorry for your loss, Khun Macau – but the point is that now we all have some distance from the attempted coup, Khuns Kinn and Porsche thought that, uh.”

“They thought it would be convenient to get me married off, I know.”

“No, hang on, it wasn’t - it was just a silly thing Khun suggested, and Kinn said it - ok, yeah, he said it would be convenient, yeah, but we weren’t going to actually do anything about it!” Porsche throws his hands up in exasperation, nearly knocking the tablet out of Arm’s hands. “You didn’t have to run away on a whim, Chay!”

“Hang on, what does this have to do with Vegas and I?” Macau asks, at the same time as Chay mutters ‘It wasn’t a whim!’

“What do you mean?” Porsche asks him, leaning forward with genuine confusion on his face. (Chay recognises it from the days when he used to ask Porsche for help with his algebra homework.) “It was – the plan was – well, no, it wasn’t a plan, but Khun’s idea was that you two should marry each other.”

“Oh shit,” Macau says, squeezing Chay’s waist tightly. “Oh, shit, babe! Do you know what this means?!”

Chay wriggles around in his lap to face him, disbelief and hope warring on his face. “Is he saying what I think he’s saying?”

“I think he’s saying that they’re not gonna stop us being together, actually,” Macau says. He reaches up to stroke Chay’s face gently, running the back of his knuckles reverently along his cheekbones. 

“Hang on,” Porsche says. “Hang on, are you two – is that why you shared a room?!” He turns to stare at Arm accusingly; Arm quickly buries his head in his tablet and starts tapping away furiously. Porsche tuts and turns back to the disgraced runaways. “Macau! Did you fuck my brother last night?”

“Of course not!” Macau says quickly, and then his little gremlin grin returns. “Fun fact, phi, your baby brother is a very talented top.”

“Gah, shut up, shut the fuck up,” Porsche shouts, then covers his ears and starts humming when Macau opens his mouth to elaborate. 

“Stop antagonising him, and I’ll stop Tankhun from dressing you in cerise on our wedding day,” Chay murmurs to Macau, slapping a hand over his open mouth. Macau licks his palm, mostly out of habit, but nods his agreement. 

“It’s ok, hia, you can listen again,” Chay says. Arm leans over without looking up from his tablet and taps him on the shoulder. “I said, it’s ok. We’ve decided to take a rain check on the eloping plan today.”

“Oh, Khun Nu will be so relieved,” Arm says. “He was so worried.”

“Aww,” Chay says, willing to be far more lenient now things are going his way. “He was worried about Cau and I? That’s so sweet.”

“Oh, yes.” Arm pauses briefly. “Well. That, and he was worried he’d ordered a custom Armani for nothing.”