#im about to snap about my job
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“Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust?”
#Frankenstein#gothic literature#gothic lit art#victor frankenstein#happy new year lads#ive been thinking about nothing else but them for the past 3 days#been trying to figure out a decent design for victor and i think im getting closer#he needs to have a cruelness to him#and he needs to be kind of pathetic#someone who the creature could snap in half yknow#and i need to make the creature more Mean looking but it just feels right to draw him sad and despairing#THAT BEING SAID i think i did a good job here hehe#henry is next :)))#my art#illustration
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 268
Adjective: Yellow
Noun: Funeral
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Yellow: of the color between green and orange in the spectrum, a primary subtractive color complementary to blue, or colored like ripe lemons or egg yolks; (informal) cowardly
Funeral: the ceremonies honoring a dead person, typically involving burial or cremation; (rare) (US) a sermon delivered at a funeral; (archaic) (literary) a procession of mourners at a burial
#im about to snap about my job#people keep pushing shit on me without as much as asking me first so im fully taken off guard by these new responsibilities im being given#and im pretty sure my temporary supervisor is subtly homophobic and/or transphobic and/or possibly racist#cos she keeps misgendering me on top of listing these new policies she wants to enact that seem pretty bigoted (from a minority perspective)#like she wants our offices to be decently plain#meaning she will likely want me to remove my rainbow flags and the numerous reminders of my pronouns and that its a safe space#as well as my coworkers blm flag and girl power painting#she even wants us to dress professionally all the time (which is not possible for my disabled ass)#and that comment came about after i noticed her looking closely at my sylvia rivera 'we have to be visible' pride shirt#not to mention she made a big deal today about me asking our clients for their pronouns on our client forms#its ridiculous especially after all the horrible shit i went through with my past supervisor and coworker#im planning on emailing her first thing tomorrow morning about the misgendering so we will see how that goes#on a happier note my girlfriend and i played escape from the aliens in outer space (one of the board games we bought yesterday) tonight#and it was lots of fun#anyway i like this prompt a lot because it subverts the ideas we tend to hold of 'funerals'#at least from the perspective of someone raised in an american christian household#i like the idea of a 'funeral' being a genuine celebration of someones life#and the colour 'yellow' feels very celebratory to me#so i think thats the direction im going to go with this prompt#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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one of my fave traits about erik is how sassy he is so i dont understand how im always surprised to find during rewatches of the xmen movies that he is So Sassy at like. any given moment
#xmen#xmen first class#i rewatched first class tonight so im just tagging that but this applies throughout the movies tbh vlakjklj#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#i think its cause i just watched dofp last night and hes Considerably less sassy there ...#the lil 'no helmet: i couldnt [go against the plan] even if i wanted to' is my favorite tho but otherwise its just pain ....#SHUT UP THIS IS A GIGGLY POST ima make myself sad again ..#i keep thinkin bout how i cant wait to have free time so i can draw cause i wanna draw saw cherik cause i HATE MYSELF#and now this post has derailed. excellent.#IN ANY CASE this can be said about most marvel characters but it just tickles me with erik the most#cause even Old Man Erik is such a little shitter 😭😭💀#watching jean and cyclops about to fight in the second movie and he really gotta make a quip to mystique about#'we cant quarrel with THIS love affair' GIRLFRIEND. BE SO SERIOUS RN#NO CAUSE EVEN IN THE BACK OF THE JET WHEN MEETING PYRO AND CO AND THEY WERE GIGGLING#I CANT. the sillies ..... i forget who they were chortling about atm i just know they were so silly and i love them#its doing an excellent job at distracting me from the fact he's trying to subdue every non-mutant human vjaerlkjkeal#ok obligatory nightly xmen ramble over
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actually i dont even care if this is the one and only time breaking is an event in the olympics, im so into it. this is fire
#if this gets even a handful of little kids or heck even teenagers/adults into breaking or dancing in general. i think its done its job !!#im so obnoxious about this rn#actively fighting against the peacock replay lag#but been throwing my arms and aggressively snapping at my tv nonstop all day#GOSH I LOVE DANCE#i am a dancer through and through 🥹🙌#my ramblings#olympics
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I hate living in this world.
#misc#negativity tw#first off i had an argument with a colleague at work#we had to move places for the millionth time in this stupid open space#which already annoyed me#but this guy came at bargained like he always do while i said nothing because it's not like we chooae#and he always does that for actual work because and idk at first i made a snarky comment about now that he got what he wanted he better be#ready to work instead of hiding when somebody ask him to do his job#and he told me he didn't understand the remark#and my hot temper that makes me snap every five years took over#i bet he has by now complaining aboutme like he does about everything#anyway i take hours to calm down (not calm after 4 hours)#I'm also pissed at me cause i can't get emotional without shaking stupidly which makes me look like an hysterical person (i mean sadly i am)#also if there has to have an explanation once my anger is gone tomorrow i will be back on social anxiety mode which is gonna make it worse#all of this reminded me that i need to find a new job for ten thousand reasons#but unfortunately all employers are shit and actually i don't even know what i want to do#and as usual i have no energy for anything because i am still a major piece of shit#then i wanted to relax#made the mistake to open Instagram because I'm also stupid#and i know i don't often talk about politics and stuff#but it's really draining me#i barely or read news just enough to be aware#and honestly its exhausting but I dont want to complain cause Im in a privileged position where i have the chance to be able to 'shut off'#and yes my country and especially this government is sickening me#and like its people too#and also insta is full of pride posts#and i am stupid to read the homophobic and transphobic comments#and genuinely these people alongside racist and islamophobic people really scare the hell out of me#hopefully i don't engage but i shouldn't read anything at all tbh#speaking of pride im spiralling because even tho i kinda identify as aro i feel like a freak and i have nobody to tell me im not
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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0
i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3
#snap chats#SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3#ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i#moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since#BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point#if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of#'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like#like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling#the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly#which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word#like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation#so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor#i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj#yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested#like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out#i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH#but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god#i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was#tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch#and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ#coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror#i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant#if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review#OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do#so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl#god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj#anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading
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I'm convinced actually at this point moving out would solve all of my problems
#any of them. all.#all i can think about lately is i need to get out of this fucking house b4 it kills me i am constantly on edge and about to snap and i have#almost no motivation for anything now bc it's taking everything for me to just sit in bed. all i want to do is sleep and avoid everyone#and i can't bc i csnt even fucking get a job. i didnt get up today so I'm calling places back tomorrow. i used to say i wanted to know how#o drive and have my license b4 moving out but if i had the opportunity id be fucking gone today. i can feel myself dying the longer im here#and none of that even gives me motivation bc of the place i am. i need to get out
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in spirit i am lying facedown on the floor rn. in reality i have pokefarm dailies to complete
#i needed to get back into a petsite of some sort to ease the pain of living . sorry#but uhm. had a really tough convo w/ my supervisor today .. it went well but the anxiety leading up to it#and the fact that i spent pretty much the entire time fighting for my life to hold in tears#has left me utterly exhausted in its wake#it wasnt anything bad btw dont worry. i wanted to#clear the air and communicate w/ her about my uh. current home situation#because unfortunately ive been hashtag triggered as fuck lately at work and wanted to make sure it wasnt like#coming off the wrong way or anyone was thinking they were doing naything wrong. like theyre fine im just#constantly at the anxiety levels of a deer that just heard a twig snap lately#she was soooooo nice and understnading about it though. god i love this job
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dokja doing his best time and time again to help junghyeok with regressor depression…. I see the sauce being cooked here
#it’s gay sauce#for gay people.#going post#Orv#tbh dokja I think you should just tell junghyeok everything at this point. not for gay reasons but to make things easier#these two work rlly well together when junghyeok isn’t trying to kill dokja imagine how they’d be if they were fully on the same page too#every day there’s a new fuckin dokkaebi. where do they keep getting these guys#and why do they keep getting cuntier#A THANOS SNAP???#choosing between a thanos snap and killing the strongest incarnation. alright everyone time to speed up on the killing nirvana thing I gues#Junghyeok relying on the predictability of knowing everything…. You can take the man out of the timeloop but you can’t take the timeloop ou#of the man#(I know he’s not out of his regressions but sh)#‘I can’t think of a way to correct this’ junghyeok aren’t you supposed to be smart? Stop being stupid#dokja gets me. that’s why he’s also a reader#Ohhh okay we’re having a Big Talk now. good job dokja#‘But the real problem is when you’ve finally managed to save the world’ THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!!!! DOKJA GETS ME#YOU CAN TAKE THE MAN OUT OF THE TIMELOOP BUT YOU CANT TAKE THE TIMELOOP OUT OF THE MAN!#unless junghyeok kicks his regressor’s depression in the ass and learns not to rely on knowing future scenarios so much.#and they’re on a rooftop…. The symsbsnolismm….#Oh wait dokja’s making a different point#ah. ptsd.#well that’s part of my argument I guess#Ohhhhh I love dokja getting to be a prophet rn. and junghyeok realizing he’s onto some shit#‘This world you’re about to abandon could be the only world where you can live to see it end as a human being’ OOOOF. OOF.#that’s heavy#Anyway time for comic relief. sorry Uriel but no gay sex yet#‘Who’s the strongest incarnation?’ Junghyeok: no doubt it’s me#……………………………….#DOKJA IS ALSO CONSIDERING HIMSELF THE STRONGEST?? GUYS
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i wish i wasn’t depressed lol
#or whatever it is i am. it’s really making things hard. i feel like i suck except i don’t actually suck it’s just that i feel like i do and#feeling like i do actually makes me suck legitimately. so whatever#purrs#i don’t even know how to put it into words. im stuck in my life and if im not stuck im falling behind. i kinda got in trouble at work a#little bit for not staying on top of these 2 things and i feel so horrible abt it bc it was my idea to do it in the first place but i bit#off more than i can chew which is what i always seem to do. im falling behind or stuck in every possible aspect of my life rn it’s sooooo um#not great. and i feel insignificant and small constantly and anyway i have to worry about grad school LOL. pain#i don’t even know how to say it right like that’s how sad i am. i can’t even articulate it. im exhausted especially with myself.#i wish i could just snap my fingers and stop being miserable bc it makes everyone else around me miserable but i don’t know how to stop#like if you think about it i am kind of bad at my job. the worst possible thing for me to be. ermmmmmm 🤭
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I am not exaggerating when I say I live with one of the worst cishet men I've ever met in my life and its horrible
Pretty big vent incoming in tags, just a warning. Feel free to scroll past /gen
#sorry i. need to vent#he is genuinely one of the most ignorant; stubborn; and absolutely manchild of a man I've ever seen#I'm not fucking lying when I say he gets pissy and shouts and complains about EVERYTHING#and I don't mean just occasional shouting and getting loud#whenever he's upset. its /loud/. very loud#first time in my 5 years of knowing him I had enough and snapped back at him because he was yelling at me-#-bc I supposedly do absolutely nothing around the house and I take horrible care of myself and dont care about anything#at least in regards to the house#and complains about why I'm deciding not to go to college and that he got a job at 15 while he's literally#in his mid 40's#so.#like.#I told him I'm still 18 and I dont want him to boss around my entire fucking life but he brought up the excuse again of-#-him doing all the shit I SHOULD be doing by his words when he was 15#first of all. like. to get things straight; we are not related at all not even in the slightest#he's my mothers bf; I don't know why he gets so pissy at me about MY life of all things#like Jesus Christ shut up challenge impossible#yeah I had a fun (/s) moment earlier where I went to clean my dish and he started to snap at me about how I-#-walk past the dishes every day while they're piled up and I should do them. meanwhile. they're literally not mine. ever#I get it yeah but. whatever. he kept going onn and on and on and got even more upset with me literally not saying or doing anything to-#-provoke him more#Ig he just doesn't know that!! wow!! I do actually care about my life and future!!!!#and that getting a job is not that easy or the same as it was 30+ fucking years ago!! wow!! who would've guessed!!!!#Like genuinely i am literally trying to get a job rn and shit and have been stressing horribly about it for literal YEARS#but yeah ignore that I guess ok sure buddy#god sorry i.. really hate him. a lot#I dont like to hate on people really; esp if im accustomed to them. but him. he. no <3#I will say I hate him w my full chest#vent#negative post
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i just have been thinking about ted's abilities when it comes to coaching, given recent dash commentaries, and i think ted........isn't used to working on a team. like a full fledged team. for the past ~15 years, he's been working alongside beard.......beard. who. lbr here. ted kinda walks over professionally. and that's typically alright, considering they were college coaches of a sport they both knew, but ted has always had a position of power over beard, professionally. and he's very very used to beard.................going along with whatever he suggests. from beard's outburst in 1x09 and ted's blatant confusion over it, it's clear beard doesn't make his opinions that known. i mean hell. it's easy to assume ted accepted the job without talking to beard first. and we even saw that type of behavior in actio in 1x05. he benched jamie without discussing it with his fellow coach, at the time only beard, who just went "okay then." like....ted is very used to a) knowing the sport and b) making all the decisions without really clearing it with beard, which translates into not clearing it with nate or roy when they join the staff. because ted is used to working solely with beard, who never spoke up about things. hm.
like.........when nate and beard did try to talk to him in 1x09 about benching roy (they literally had to sit ted down to breach the idea) he told them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they were wrong. like. that's what he said. "i value each of your opinions...even when they're wrong." respectfully, ted. you,,, do not know what you're talking about. they have to walk you through every single football related thing...beard is more willing to discuss football strategy with the kitman than his own boss because his boss doesn't know what they're doing.
#does this make sense im kinda drunk#alcohol ment tw#i've just been thinking about how BOTH beard and nate voted no to bringing jamie back BUT TED DID ANYWAYS#and again. i think ted did it THEN told them after the fact and they put up with it because he's the head coach#and 'that's the job son'#but like ted operating solely with beard who never stands up for himself until he BREAKS aka 1x09 then like. it makes sense#that ted struggles with sharing opinions and decisions with the coaching staff#BEARD IS SO STRONG because if my boss who knew nothing about our job told me i was wrong but#he Valued my opinion lmao#i can see why he snapped
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oh thank fuck tumblrs back i was beginning to go into inbox harassment withdrawal
anyways do you think aoki would prefer it in the boyp or the back door? asking for a friend /miku/
can you go five minutes without sending boyp
into my PUBLIC INBOX
#nsff#like actually i sit and think about this for too long#snap chats#anyway. question for the scholars honestly... :miku:#i feel like hed just bitch about it hurting if you went through the back whether there was prep or not but... :miku:#why cant the miku emote be universal its so good...#i was about to tell the biggest lie of my life and say he doesnt like to be roughed up but i know he likes taunting people :miku:#he literally beggin people to swing at him he loves getting people pissed i cant hes such a FREAK#god maybe he would prefer ....... :miku:#can i be focused. no.#anyway Final Answer im gonna say backdoor. if not so he could fuck himself During and tell Whoever theyre doing a terrible job#just so he could goad them into being rougher :miku: sorry whoever reads these and is. NORMAL. :miku:#made me sit here and wonder this typa shit for TOO LONG
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‘you’re all i got, cousin’ crying over richie of all people. can this day get any worse
#IF I SAID RICHIE IS ONE OF THE MOST COMPELLING CHARACTERS ON THE BEAR WHAT THEN#THIS SHOW SAID NO TWO DIMENSIONAL CHARACTERS!!!#he’s still a dick tho. love him#hi i had a hellish day. being on ur period plus working bank holiday saturday lunch rush? no a slaytastic combo#saw unprecedented levels of twatism today night actually be my worst shift at this place ever#god fr saw me posting positively about work lately and went girl BE QUIET and u know what it’s crickets from my end from now on bossman#this is the first time i could NOT snap myself out of a mood bc of a customer like it was a hundred little shitty interactions#of being spoken to like utter shit and then one table just pissed me OFF like complained to my manager the works and if it had been that on#it’s own it would have been fine but it had already been building and i was like no. im done#got asked if i could stay on until 10 and i wasn’t even polite about it i just went ‘FUCK no’#almost cried on the bus home. humiliating. immediately got in an argument w my mum. thriving tbh#and then went ‘now is probably a bad time to watch THIS of all shows but oh well’ and weirdly it’s actually calmed me down bc I’m reminded#this is a universal struggle and it isn’t just me being a little bitch lmao. still sucks that my job literally consists of#‘whoever can tolerate being spoken to like dirt for the longest without snapping will get shifts :)’ like why is this behaviour allowed#why do i have to regularly day after day be disrespected and treated like im not even a person. for MINIMUM FUCKING WAGE#blowing the restaurant up im so fucking done man#the bear#hella slaves to capitalism
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cant sleep because im seething with anger
#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel#if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins#basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating#off topic but yeah#i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around#idk. whatever#why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years#but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol#all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic#and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her#because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15#maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life#but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me#every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight#it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred#and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes#*life
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this is the SHITTIEST FUCKING SHIFT
#i wanna CRY#i ate notning all day#worked NONSTOP for 15 hours#and JUST as i was about to sleep like. literally JUST. i get paged again#and again its bc the cops are fucking idiots that dont know how to do their jobs right#im gonna snap tonight. mark my words#im so tired my dudes. i just wanna sleep#this close to quitting residency rn#delete later
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