#im a shitty person D: | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

faaun · 8 months ago

Text

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

23 notes · View notes

karagna · 1 year ago

Note

What's your favorite oc you've drawn?

I think Chromatica is a pretty solid like 11/10 on the oc scale I've made. She's my Lancer pc and she's pretty much a morally grey Paracausal space scientist who's currently in a HORRIBLE office romance with the OTHER scientist in the team.

I'm also very fond of Greenhorn, who I basically drew near religiously for War for Rayuba for like 85% of the year and have like 160+ comic pages featuring him. That's like a small graphic novel and HAS to count for something right???

Technically he's a 2 for 1 deal but also he's a devilskin so I'm playing the system here. I should draw him again tbh!! I really do like the shithead energy he brings to the table but if I had to do the OCT again me and fox would crank that up by like 10x and make him even more of a heel.

#li speaks #asks #I miss drawing Gh it's been like #a year now??? How time does fly #I would've made Gaellius more shitty (personality wise) and Alm more stand-offish now that im looking back #Relationship wise wouldn't change a thing though #Also Pyre shoutout in the new k6b d pages lets go Pyre sweep!!!!#Also I love OC asks btw if anyone reads these tags feel free to send in some I'll answer em

81 notes · View notes

blue-thief · 6 months ago

Text

idk if i trust anyone to write an analysis about kaiser

#tbf im not sure if i trust myself either 😭😭#somehow you have to criticize his abusive behaviour while also keeping his personal problems in mind #somehow you have to acknowledge his past as a reason but not an excuse #you have to point out that a lot of his shitty behaviour is a result of his NPD while also trying not to demonize NPD as a whole #a lot of people have been saying stuff like 'kaiser's past explains why he is the way that he is '#and like yeah but a lot of egotypicals view it as 'okay so this is how kaiser went from A to B'#(the word egotypical within the context of blue lock is so funny 😭😭)#but like. for me it's like 'well if A happens then obviously you go to B then you reach C which leads to D.... all the way to Z'#there's a logic behind what kaiser does #it's not good logic but god. i see the exact logic he uses 😭😭#blue lock #bllk #michael kaiser

15 notes · View notes

yourcalamity · 8 months ago

Text

i dont think anyone should have to put themselves through it but it is interesting to me how some other “disabled” people just decide they cannot work before even actually trying because its uncomfortable or makes them anxious and its an active choice they are actually able to make which they see zero privilege in when talking to those of us who will always have to work no matter what… and then theyll talk to you like “oh you dont understand i just cant” while you literally experience the exact same shit or more 😭

#best example is shitty cali roommate who had three separate jobs including one i helped them get hired at and then they just decided they #couldnt handle it so it was fine to let everything fall on me and their wife with a heart condition while they sat on their ass playing #jewelry on etsy. and then theyd have the gall to be like well im mentally ill and disabled as if we werent too #also it was so obvious thats why they upcharged my rent when my only other option was homelessness they saw a situation they could take #advantage of parasitic ass person. the wife was not great either but after seeing how their wife treated her i really hope they divorce(d)#also jobless roommate was constantly making comments on what i did with my money too like they literally were mad at me for buying a $5 #t shirt from walmart once #and then theyd act surprised they had no irl friends after shit talking every single person they invited to their wedding party #this isnt about them tho this is about random posts i see on here and think. you can actually get yourself out of this one man. just try

7 notes · View notes

ltadoriyuujl · 6 months ago

Text

I have got to stop taking movie recs from white women on this site

#lady bird suckeddddd #yes the mother daughter relationship we're frothing at the mouth and so on wtv #but lady bird was just. not a good person?#and obviously the point is that she wasnt a saint but watching someone make so many shitty decisions back to back and face no real backlash #idk it was kinda disheartening #maybe im a fake critical analyst but if youre not going to make your mc sympathetic at least make her reasons understandable #lb just “woe is me”'d her way through her life

6 notes · View notes

asmotheavatarofhorny · 2 years ago

Text

I can’t fucking believe the only thing we got for Asmo’s birthday is a shitty WW ball.

And you have to pay for it with real money?

That’s fucking insane.

And no event either? Come on.

I swear to fuck if Luci gets a birthday event next month I will riot

#asmo is my baby #im angy rn #>:(#im actually so upset though #been saving up dp and d energy since the game came out for this #and what happened?#we didn’t get shit except for a shitty WW animation behind a paywall #asmo stans are rioting #props to the person who put the animation on twt btw #we love you you’re a godsend for that #i can spend more money on asmo acrylics now instead of stupid minute long animations

9 notes · View notes

pepprs · 2 years ago

Text

ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.

#purrs #delete later #idk. i typed a bunch here and then deleted it and now idk what to say. i just feel so lonely. i have had fucked up relationships with every #single older adult in my life and never had someone who could a) stay in my life b) be consistently present in my life c) meet my emotional #needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t #those things for myself now because im 24 and i missed my chance. but how fucking shitty and painful is that? especially after a year like t #this. the way it’s literally ending the SAME way last year did. huge scary promotion (which i haven’t even talked about on here or to anyone #but lia today actually. but it might be huger and scarier than i thought. which is good but also HUGE -‘d scary. and not a bad thing of bc o #course but it’s so fucking… perilous? like it makes me feel profoundly imperiled because i have extremely good reason to feel that way. and #i have to endure the mortifying ordeal of applying for my own job AGAIN after the first time was so horrible. lol) and also losing a beloved #mentor figure who understood me in a way no one else did which mattered immensely even if they couldn’t do the whole presence thing or #whatever. and now i only have one older adult in my life left (aside from my therapist who doesn’t really count bc i only see her once a #week and we barely know each other still) who is like. here and helping me and i KNOW i am so sick in the head i KNOW and i should not be #writing it but every single day i am fucking terrified that i am being or will be separated from him emotionally or physically jsut like all #the others so. LOL!!!!! i am normal and well adjusted. but it’s like so fucking painful because im grasping at straws but again the reality #is im 24 and the only people on this earth who it is fair for me to expect all 4 from and who should’ve provided it to me are my parents.#and i missed my chance with them forever and now i have to do it myself. and that’s ok sometimes and i can handle it… except in the moments #where im sobbing hysterically and everything carries on. when i am in my darkest moments i want to run to an older adult and have them #comfort me but i truly cannot do that with any of the ones i still have left / regularly interact with for so many reasons. and it’s so #painful it makes me sick sometimes. and now i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see in this world. but how can i do that when i #haven’t finished grieving over them leaving which feels like leaving ME — NOW — in this moment when i have never needed more support of that #kind more. how can isummon it within myself. im not ready yet. i need a long hug and a hand to hold that won’t (have to) let go. when im #crying i need someone to take me somewhere and comfort me and calm me down. and im 24 so i can’t ask for it. but oh my god i need it. and i #missed my chance. and lia left today and she only ever did that for me metaphorically but… tonight i feel more alone than ever.#and it’s like i don’t even have the emotional intelligence or whatever to ASK for that. bc im playing by ear and i don’t know how to read #the music of it. im self taught. that fucking sucks. that SUCKSSS. also that’s too strong a way to put it liek obviously my friends who are #closer to my age are INTEGRAL to me being able to function and i learn from them and cherish their support. but just like i can’t be a mom #to me my friends can’t either. so it’s like what the fuck do i do. get steamrolled by relentless grief and rage every day i guess.#also side note. everything carried on when i was in brighton too. i came home early ofc but it’s like nothing changed in my absence. and #that has fucked me up SUPREMELY. i think that might be a root of it. like hm… it seems my presence doesn’t have impacts. but idk

12 notes · View notes

weather-phenomenon · 1 year ago

Text

mhm tfw on public transportation u remember ur a shitty friend n person n by choice n then u tear up aldkfnnddnd

#the route passes by where my 'ex' 'bsf' lives/d n yh #just remembered certain things n like her mother's death n just yh #boy am i a shitty person #but also uh im honestly at a lot more stable place n daily peace of mind #since i re embraced solitude n like cut everyone off so #like yh apparently humans need social interaction or whatever but idk if being a friend really worth wanting to Kms so yh ✌️#cloud nonsense

3 notes · View notes

buggysuperior88 · 2 years ago

Text

I have some opinions on Boa Hancock and I want to talk about them. Im currently in the middle of watching one piece and I’m at ‘the island of women’ arc of the series. And I, sadly, have seen spoilers for the arc before I even began watching it. So I know of Boa and her sisters past… …and it is fucked up as SHIT…. BUT as I’m watching this arc, I can’t help but dislike Boa.

Im only on episode 414 and the arc finishes on episode 421. So my critiques are only of what I’ve observed since I have started the arc. So what I say may be something EVERYONE has observed and/or has said about this arc. But before I state my opinions, I wanna state the things I KNOW about Boa from what I’ve observed in this arc.

Boa Hancock (if I spelled it correctly) is the captain of an all-woman pirate crew, the kuja pirates. She is known as the Pirate Empress and/or the Snake Princess. She is the princess and ruler of Amazon Lily, an island that is fully inhabited by women. She is also a warlord of the sea, and has a devil fruit that allows her to turn anyone into stone. She was, previous to being a pirate, a former slave who was captured by slave traders when she young along with her sisters. She and her sisters were abused, most likely sexually, for a long time. In this time she grew to resent and hate MEN.

(I don’t know how she escaped because I haven’t gotten to that part of the story yet, but I assume someone was able to break in and free her and her sisters along with many other slaves as well).

She has a mark on her back that she has to constantly cover bc it gives away that she was a former slave. So she protects her back at all cost, and since she became ruler, she since banned men from EVER stepping foot on Amazon Lily (but I could be wrong and men could have already been BANNED but she just implemented it more so after she began ruling). Amazon Lily is located in the calm belt, where sea kings are known to breed. And the sea kings scare off pirates, marines, traders and anyone else that she doesn’t want near her island. So she and all the women she rules over are protected by the sea kings. But she still has to scare off someone people she doesn’t want in her waters. Such as marines and other known warlord's. In the episode where Boa confronts the marines for being near her island, in short, she turns all the marines into stone and then leaves for her island. But in this episode, her crew members are intimidated by her and try to avoid making her mad. She kicks one of the crew members pet kitten(?) and the crew member apologizes and takes the angry kitten away. (From this scene on, I started to not like her). Then she heads home to her island, and to fats forward to where luffy is captured and put into the arena, she turns the women who supposedly ‘helped’ luffy into the island. (Technically they did but they didn’t know he was a man) Boa precedes to turn them into stone and gets luffy mad by tossing them around and threatening to smash them (which would kill them.) I’ve gotten this far into the arc so FAR, so I can’t state anymore than I have only observed and watched.

Now that I’ve stated what I KNOW about Boa. I can talk about my opinions on her character. Boa, to put it simply, is NOT a nice person. To men or her people, it doesn’t matter. She treats them both like complete and utter shit.

Yes. She is beautiful. Yes. She is the most gorgeous woman I’ve EVER seen in one piece. Yes. She is also VERY powerful. And Yes. She also has had a terrible and horrific past that can only be described as INHUMANE…

…BUT…

That still doesn’t, and I mean this when I say this, ever give her the right to treat whoever she wants as trash and inferior to her. From what I’ve seen, she has treated her people like trash. It didn’t even matter if they were doing something nice for her, she would still treat them horribly. I understand the hatred for men because she was treated horribly and didn’t deserve the shit she went through. BUT that doesn’t give her the excuse to treat the women of her island, who all but worship the ground she walks on, to be treated badly. I understand the fear that if men were infiltrate her island, everyone would and/or could possibly end up being in danger, especially her and her sisters. Boa, to put it simply, has some unresolved trauma (which is pretty obvious) that stems from her being a slave and how men have treated her in the past. From the way she acts as if she is inferior to every being in existence, is false confidence to put it simply. Maybe a coping mechanism to protect herself from being hurt by others. But idk, so I could be wrong.

But back to my point, that whole ‘treating everyone like shot’ does NOT give her the right to act like an immature, spoiled toddler/adult to her own people. Also from what I’ve seen how her people treat her, I’m guessing that they know about her past and sympathize with how she was treated and basically give her whatever she wants because she was a victim, and deserves whatever she wants. And if I was one of the women, I would probably do what they are doing and justify her actions and excuse them to her having a terrible past. And bc of her past, she has a right to treat everyone and anyone who she seems inferior like shit.

Now that I’ve stated my opinion, I wanna clarify that I think her character is amazing in terms of power and strength. She is, in all honesty, a very powerful women. The fact she was able to become the ruler of her island after the fact she went through some very traumatic shit, and was able to technically recover and become a warlord to protect her people. The fact that she wanted to protect her people bc she never wanted the woman of her island to ever experience the type of shit she and her sisters were able to endure and survive. This was a very big W on her part and I can respect her for putting her people first. She’s risking everything to protect them, if they even see a glimpse of the scar on her back, she would be captured. So she has to live in constant paranoia that no matter what, she can NOT let her guard down.

Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is that I can respect Boa Hancock as a powerful character and very powerful woman. But I CANNOT for the life of me, excuse her for how she treats her people and others.

I will probably be doing some more character analysis’s later, but I just wanted to talk about her character and rant.

#one piece #boa Hancock #monkey d luffy #i respect boa but man she has a shitty personality #Do I still think she is hot? Yes #one piece is a fucking roller coaster man #im sorry for the rant #the one piece is real #believe me #also wtf boa #WHYYYYYY #I believe in the luffy aroace agenda #not All the time bc of film red but yk people like what people like

17 notes · View notes

music-is-endless · 2 years ago

Text

At what point is it socially acceptable for me to cuss out a manager or two on the behalf of my employee spouse bc DAMN (insert corporation here) is actively the worst part of my marriage bc of the way they treat my husband

#personal #and tbh im tired of hearing about how shitty of a job it is and having my bad mental health days exacerbated by D coming home -#- angry hungry and hurting

2 notes · View notes

caramelcorn10 · 2 years ago

Text

im so not good rn jfc