#im a little worn out
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roadkill-dreaming · 6 months ago
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lmaowh-at · 1 month ago
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Lanns n Starks lineups/costumes sketches that I will probably add other houses to. Tywin and Joff & the rest aren't here because I was lazy and Cerseis dress took all of my energy. Don't ask me about inspiration or historical basis for these
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doctorsiren · 8 months ago
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Trucy in some of my recent outfits (part 4)
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posallys · 1 month ago
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I am gods most insane soldier (I'm looking forward to my orgo exam)
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valentinesparda · 1 month ago
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outfit from today uwu [ they/it pronouns only ]
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wurmwizzard · 2 months ago
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got a pack o' cheapo malformed marbles on ebay, and one of them arrived with a booty crack 😳
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 5 months ago
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imagine if yaz had given the doctor clothes from her own closet
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databent · 3 months ago
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does anyone wanna give me thousands of dollors for being sooooo sweets and cutes and nice???? 🥺👉👈
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nerdie-faerie · 5 months ago
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Just when I think the day's going well, I crash a golf cart
#summer camp tag#ace is a mess#i do not have a drivers license and i havent even been behind the wheel in like 4 years since i stopped lessons cus of the pandemic#the day was going fine i got loads done didnt feel like i was irritating my director too bad#doing some paperwork for her and she says when im done well take the golf cart out while its not currently raining#im like ooh fun never been in a golf cart before i see the higher up staff in them im not gonna say no to chilling in a golf cart#i did not realise that meant i would be driving esp when she asked if id been in one before and i said no#she then asked if i could drive and i said not really thought that would be it#cus i was supposed to be studying for my theory before working towards my practical#but no she insists im driving and first off i gotta reverse outta this bay now at least i didnt have to think about gears#but i hate tryna figure out how to turn whilst in reverse in mess with my brain im not great with shape visualisation#we do all our stops its fine for the most part a lil too fast going down some of the hills#and some tight turns but my turns were always like that cus im too busy focusing on the most immediate thing#we get back i park fine and then shes like oh actually there are some more stops we can make so i reverse and turn back out#do our two stops with only minimal confusion about direction then as i go to park into the bay we came from#shes like oh actually park in the bay closest to the health centre and what i should have done was reversed and adjusted my angle#instead i drove directly into the supporting beam separating the two bays 🙃😭#i immediately turn the cart off and expect her to switch with me instead shes like laughing it off oh it was just a little bump it was fine#im like it was not that was a loud ass bang i feel so bad and then she lifts up the light cover i broke off saying its just a scratch#and i feel worse so pf course thats when the camp director comes out to check on the noise and i dont think ive ever worn a guiltier look#but theyre both laughing it off oh just having a little driving lesson :) and i am mortified#she gets back in the cart and shes still insisting that its fine and i should still park after that which i do with great trepidation#but there are no more problems and the lights still work but the cover does need fixing and i just oh my god#ive never crashed before never clipped or scratched a car so of course id crash the golf cart trying to park of all things 😭
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jrueships · 3 months ago
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Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them
#i am not a sneakerhead#i wish i could be . finacially i can be. but mentally i cannot#i am not a car guy either. i could. but i cant mentally#bcs the only time id get smthing pretty is to look at it. and keep it safe#and then id want to km$ for not using smthing thats intended to be used bcs i hate wasted potential#once i got these rlly nice shoes#ive worn them once when i was trying them on#and i hate myself every day for doing that but also i just cant get them dirty#BUT I HATE THAT#some ppl can do that. they get a million things and only use it once and yea i COULD but psychologically i just CANT#im friends with a lot of sneakerheads and chain wearers and while i cant mentally make myself one#i can understand why they can#like ppl always wanna excuse not helping ppl by pointing at the stuff they already have#like oh u can buy urself a chain but cant buy ur momma and u a nicer place to live#like ok so credit scores are not existent then. especially when ppl use that phrase against ppl growing into crime like#yes they are making money now but is it good clean money? no. thats not gonna go into smthing long term n hefty like a house#chains are a rlly big thing bcs sometimes some jewelers just dont ask questions. hence bmf's jeweler getting roped into their crime schemes#any business can be like that btw. like michael jacksons doctor getting paid to kill him. the difficulty lvl just changes#and also. random ppl make fun of the stuff they can see or hear right in front of them#random ppl can and will make u feel bad abt any little thing they know or see the best bcs theyre assholes like that#u wear shoes all the time everywhere. thats more and more eyes noticing how old/dirty ur shoes are#or ur cars old n busted or ur phones a fucking android like it doesnt matter. the more ppl can see. the more theyll know#the more sensitive u get abt whats actually small to u at the start but big 2 them n then it gets big 2 u#anyways yea so like. i get it. i dont do it but i can see why others do#anyways yea these shoes are so ugly lol like i dont buy merch of my favs unless the style matches mine personally#he just liked them bcs they were giannis tbh n then i pointed out they were modeled after 1 of the jerseys#which made he rlly want them a while back so i surprised him today#but yea these things are ugly lol im glad he likes them but ew LMFAO
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ayyponine · 4 months ago
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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carcarrot · 5 months ago
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this time last year i was probably sitting in the kitchen while my dad started making an early dinner of chicken bolognese trying not to get too nervous about the concert i'd be going to in a few hours
#the nyc concert was last year. LAST YEAR .#thats so insane like yeah that feels like a year ago but good god the insane amount of stuff that has happened since#but god i remember that day so well#it was cloudy and a little rainy in the morning which made me ough thinking it was a bad omen and wouldnt be as fun#and i remember going to library and printing out my silly letters (i should have just. not done that lol)#and on the DAY OF on the way back home from the library#i even bought a cropped black blazer specifically for my concert outfit. havent worn it since lmao#and my dad and i even watched a movie at lunch#a short movie but a movie nonetheless. lol and even then i was like oghh my gosh excitement and nervousness#and then the car service getting there i felt so fancy and as the drive started the clouds were magically dissipating#so that it was a nice clear evening when i got to the theatre#and then all the insanity of the show. god i cant believe it still after all this time. wowie#going to listen to a playlist of the show setlist im gonna get emotional now. guys........#one of my fave memories is how everyone started standing up as they went into so may we start so i was like ok are we all doing this#and stood up too and then stood for the entire rest of the concert. i think the first 3-5 rows were like that for the whole show#surreal and insane i was front row. those guys were REAL and CLOSE#i was also very excited to notice russells new shoes :) when i wasnt like awooga (how i was 99% of the time)#there was one so may we start jump that was well. yeah. front row baby#i think after latte i was like ok i cant film i gotta just vibe#religious experience doing the 'ah ah ah's during that. really interesting#ok im not gonna go through the whole show again but wowie one of my most insane nights. second only to hollywood bowl#wow what a fun year it was. just so many incredible moments#ok yay 💖 happy one year to all that. love those guys so much#spars#ok not actually done beaver o lindy was INSANE LIVE!!! AS WAS EVERYTHING ELSE. so fun ok now done for real
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rotworld · 1 year ago
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20: Drive-Thru
(previous)
you will have to go home again soon, but first you'll have to survive everything falling apart.
->contains gore.
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The meeting is held in an abandoned theater. The damp, soggy scents of moss and mold are thick in the air. Tree roots split the floorboards and climbing ivy creeps up the walls. Only a handful of the seats in the front row are occupied, feral-eyed, sharp-toothed strangers lounging on the ripped, red upholstery. You know a couple of them; the Stag’s inner circle, their gazes hungry and lingering despite the somber mood. There are fewer of them than you remember. Others are strangers, no less intimidating. 
To your surprise, Glenn is here, too. He greets you with a tense, mournful embrace, burying his face in your neck and inhaling your scent. He looks between you and Jamie with a knowing smile.
“There’s a plague in Verlinda,” one of the Stag’s men says. “Fever and chills, vomiting, and painful, pus-filled sores. Extremely contagious. Hitting some places worse than others, but we’re dropping like flies.” He scoffs at the look on your face. “You can relax, courier. Humans can’t catch it. Not even your kind, unless you’re our kin.” 
“We sent you to the University with a tissue sample. We have a contact at the clinic who’s helped us before,” Garvan explains. “We need a cure. Treatment options. Anything.”
“We’re past that now,” another growls, raking his claws through the armrest of his chair. “We know who did this to us. The law is vengeance. Idleness dishonors his memory.”
Who did this to us, he said. They think it’s a bioweapon. Jamie doesn’t even seem surprised. “Anchor has a small army for private security. You won’t even get through the gate,” they insist. “We’re going to the University. They might be able to get clearance—”
The man snarls at Jamie like a rabid dog. “You’d deny us what we’re owed, outsider? You want to do things the human way with pretty words and a slap on the wrist, maybe a fine that won’t mean anything to them?” 
“I’m not denying you anything. I’m telling you you’re going to get massacred and you’ll never get your vengeance if you rush in there without a plan. We stand a better chance in greater numbers.” 
You still don’t have a plan—no real idea of what you’ll actually do once you reach the University—but an alliance is coming together. The Verlindans trust you, and by extension, Jamie. They’re willing to hold off their attack, but not for long. The idea of returning to Anchor makes you sick to your stomach. You don’t feel ready to face that place again, not after knowing everything they’ve done to the Drift. And for what? Why banish cities? Why set a plague loose in Verlinda? The God of Nelton tries to calm your racing thoughts but you feel so overwhelmed.
“Courier?” Glenn says quietly.
The meeting comes to a screeching halt, the theater falling silent. You wipe your tears with your sleeve. You’re fine. You don’t have time to lose your nerve. But Jamie asks the others if they mind the two of you stepping out for some air and their gazes are understanding. 
“Not much more to say now, is there? We should all rest, eat. Get ready to leave…”
Their voices fade into a murmur as Jamie leads you outside. “You okay?” they ask. “God, nevermind. Stupid question. Let’s get some food, alright? Then we’ll check back in, you can properly introduce me to the guy who was looking at us both like a fresh steak.” 
“Which one?” you ask dryly.
Jamie laughs and kisses your cheek. But once you’re back in the car, they stop you just before you pull out of the parking lot. “I’m not making you go back there,” they say quietly. “We could just stay at my place until this whole thing blows over, you know?” 
You shake your head. You don’t want to go back, but you need to. Something in you will never rest until you do.
“Then I’ll be right there with you. Okay? You’re going to have your homecoming, courier, and I’m going to be there to see it happen.” Jamie takes your hand in theirs and squeezes reassuringly. When they smile at you like that, when they hold you and you can feel their warmth, you almost believe it’s possible. 
[NOW PLAYING ON THE RADIO: MOON BY ART SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND]
For a little while, you just drive. You take a dirt path through a desolate stretch of Verlinda all the way to the highway, and then back across town again. You and Jamie spend the time talking about all the things you haven’t said before and try not to think about the suffocating sense of urgency in the air, like this is your last chance to get these things off your chest. 
You tell Jamie everything you know about the Road Ripper, which isn’t much. They tell you they met Elisile while studying mimics during undergrad; that he visited often, the closest thing they had to a mentor. “He means well in his own way. But there are some things we could never understand about each other,” Jamie says. “Still, we stayed in touch. He has a soft spot for children of the road, even if he thinks we should all just leave, like glass mimics do. I wonder if he saw something he recognized in me, or just thought he did.” 
You can feel another conversation happening like overhearing mutters in the next room, indistinct sound and sensation in the back of your mind. The God of Nelton has been quiet today, speaking more to Jamie’s fluke than to you directly. You’re not worried—you would feel any tension—but you wonder what they’re saying. The corner of Jamie’s lip twitches into a smile involuntarily and seemingly without their notice. Their hand settles on your thigh.
“Courier. About earlier, with Elisile…I’m sorry for frightening you. I meant what I said; I fear for you. I wish you would be more selfish. But I regret making you doubt me for even a moment.” 
“To be fair, I’ve given you plenty of reasons to worry about my safety,” you admit. 
“You have. I’d tell you to cut it out, but…this is the Drift.” 
Their gaze is drawn out the window to Verlinda’s verdant landscape, watching cracked concrete and mossy roofs pass by. You’ve noticed they often look at houses. This part of Verlinda must have been suburbs once because there’s no shortage of them; quaint cottages with overgrown stone paths, bungalows with spacious porches and crumbling overhangs, two-story Victorian style houses rotting quietly deep in the woods. You wonder what home really means to them now. 
“I wonder what the Drift would be like if Anchor cared about anyone but themselves,” they murmur. “Maybe there wouldn’t be much of a change. Anchorware has its limitations, even when it isn’t being sabotaged. It just seems like this place is crueler than it needs to be.” 
You’re both hungry and there’s a line of neon signs dotting the highway. Most of the lobbies are closed, likely to avoid further spread of sickness. Jamie insists that they’ll pay and also insists that you get more than a basket of fried eggs. 
“So,” Jamie says casually, “what’s his name?” 
“Whose name?” 
“The guy who was eyefucking us at the meeting. Short, red hair, nice thighs?” 
Your face heats up. “That’s Glenn.”
“Go on.” 
“Wh—what do you wanna know, exactly?” 
Jamie laughs, giving you a gentle nudge. “You can relax, courier, I’m not jealous over something that happened before we met. You have good taste, he’s cute. If he lets us stay the night, I might even be willing to share you.” 
The idea of Jamie and Glenn ganging up on you is undeniably dangerous and appealing. Maybe Halvard wouldn’t just watch this time. Maybe the God of Nelton says something, or maybe you look as flustered as you feel, but Jamie giggles and gives you a peck on the cheek. 
You pull up to the drive-thru window and Jamie hands you their card. You get drinks, greasy fries to share, a couple comfort food sandwiches. But just as the cashier reaches out to hand you the food, you hear a sharp, brittle crack. It sounds like a bone breaking or a massive tree branch snapping off the trunk. The air crackles. Verlinda sways like a mirage. You feel like you’re moving, hurtling through space, and completely paralyzed at the same time.
There’s a brick in the restaurant’s foundation that isn’t like the others—shiny and metallic, colors rolling across its iridescent surface. You recognize it; you’ve seen industrial anchorware before. But it’s not supposed to be shimmering like that, you think. It’s not supposed to make the ground shake in time with its pulsing flashes. Instinct sets your heart racing. You know on a base, animal level that what’s happening is wrong and dangerous but there’s no time to react. You’re right next to the anchorware when it flashes and sputters and finally winks out like an extinguished candle.
Reality comes apart in a rush like a wave breaking over a sand castle. You fall straight through the bottom of the car, through the pavement, through oblivion. The drive-thru follows you down like a plunging stone, a smear of garish color and neon light. Form contorts and meaning shrivels. The drive-thru sign becomes porous, magma-spurting stone. The window tries to grow eggs, small plastic whorls forming along the frame. 
You see the cashier trying to hold onto something but the worst of the malfunction is inside, viciously warring physics colliding. They’re liquefying before your eyes, red, misty slush spattering across the walls. And there is no cohesion, nothing that dictates a start or end to the carnage, nothing to delineate living from non-living, organic from inorganic, so the restaurant dies with them. Panels of checkerboard floor peel away and drift into the dark, leaving oozing, architectural scabs behind. Glass doesn’t shatter but bruises and bleeds. Putrid brick bloats and blackens like necrotic flesh. 
Your fall slows but the carcass of the drive-thru keeps going, past you, far below you, neon flickering out and fading. You see shadows moving in the waning light just before it all goes dark; enormous scavengers drifting soundlessly through the void. You feel the air stir in their wake. You can hear them ripping the bloodied building apart, shrieking territorially over steel-marrow.
Something you can’t see brushes against your legs. Light, azure and emerald, sparkles in serpentine ribbons. The dark moon you see in your nightmares opens like the end of an eclipse, beholding you.
“Here you are again. Dreaming when you should not.”
The eye moves as the thing in the dark glides around you, stirring auroras and falling stars in its wake. Fingers—tendrils? Slender, flexible things—curl across your shoulders as it goes, squeezing playfully at your throat. “What do you want from me?” you say.
“More than you can give, as you are now. But I am patient.” 
You smell blood with such sharp, visceral clarity that you can taste it. Slick, sour copper. Rancid blood. Shift-rotted. You’re no bottom-feeder. You won’t touch prey like that. You’re startled at your own thoughts, the realization; that you can tell so much from the smell. That you have this intuition, a bone-deep knowing. The fleshy, pseudo-organic slurry that used to be the drive-thru is far away but you can still smell it, can feel the air shift and things move all around you. Part of you knows this darkness. It’s at ease here. 
“I need help,” you admit. You don’t know why you’re telling the thing, why you feel you can trust it with your worries. “Everything’s going wrong. The Drift is falling apart. I don’t know what to do.”
A rumble like distant thunder; the thing laughs. “I told you. I am not a dream. I am no oracle, no inner voice of yours. I cannot tell the future. But…” It comes closer in graceful, swaying motions, the eye bobbing like a buoy on the tide. “You are coming home. I know this, because you have no choice. You feel the end coming without knowing it is the end. I want to tell you not to go, but I am selfish. Maybe you will see me then. Maybe you will truly see me.”
You feel it near you. Some part of it, smooth and undulating, rippling with colorful light, wraps around you. It doesn’t constrict. It doesn’t choke you or cause you pain. It passes like wind and your heart aches for it as soon as it’s gone. 
“Wake,” the thing says. “Come home. Come to me. Do you feel it now? You have always known how to breathe.” 
You gasp and open your eyes. You are cold, sprawled out in the grass. You don’t see the car, or Jamie, or the drive-thru. You don’t even see Verlinda. This is the road, foggy and endless, and you are all alone. You climb to your feet and find yourself sore, dizzy, not badly injured except for a tender, bleeding spot on your scalp. You have no idea what the anchorware malfunction did—how much of what you just saw was a dream. You don’t know where you are but home is north now and far, far away. 
“Jamie?” You don’t see them, but you call out anyway. You hope they’re alright. There’s no blood or debris. You were in the driver’s seat, closer to the anchorware when it failed. You hope that means Jamie escaped unscathed. It’s still night. The road goes east and west. You glance back and forth, unsure of what to do, where to go. A cold wind makes you shiver and wrap your arms around yourself.
A single snowflake flutters down and melts on your cheek.
(next)
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screamingay · 1 year ago
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someone on here will literally say "encouraging plastic surgery for the sole purpose of conforming to eurocentric beauty standards isn't actually feminism" and 200 other people will come out of the woodworks and chant in harmony LET WOMEN BE HAPPY and WHAT ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE AND BURN VICTIMS as if the post wasn't clearly 1. about womens' self image & insecurities being strongly influenced by the richest and whitest of society and 2. not about trans people or burn victims at all
#ive thought about it a lot and i know the main argument is that it's bodily autonomy and also having it more widely available makes it#easier for the people who really do need it to get it#but like. first of all the industry (and it is an industry) spends SO much money convincing women their bodies look wrong#if it wasnt advertised everywhere and if the expectation wasnt there to look 'perfect' according to the most recent trends#the amount of women getting elective plastic surgery would be drastically lower#second of all. yeah having more surgeons out there means more experience and safer treatments for those who really need it..#as long as they have the money#and for trans people as long as they have money and/or good insurance and/or all the required medical documentation and/or therapy#and at the end of the day you can criticize just part of something but not all of it. i feel like a lot of people forget that when they#start saying shit online. just stop and think and dont interact with people assuming the worst of them!!#when i criticize the beauty industry im never calling any woman who's ever worn makeup or gotten a facelift evil it's an INDUSTRY#it's systemic!!!#almost reminds me of how criticizing the patriarchy and systemic misogyny as a lesbian will get u painted as some man hating terf#i love men! i dont blame individual men for the system we're all a part of i just criticize its existence and try to work to dismantle it#and i know complaining on the internet is like a little raindrop in the ocean but still. it needs to be discussed i think
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maraeffect · 1 year ago
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smfhhhhhhh went 2 the DMV to get my ID upgraded, and they didn't like my papers.,,🤦 so i got all prettied up for nothing 😭😭😭
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stormyrainyday · 5 months ago
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this entire year has been flop after flop why am i losing so bad your honor i am literally just some guy
#im yapping u can move on if u dont wanna hear my life story#first i get nuked by stomach pains when i go to visit my friends#something that had been ongoing for years but#my best friend convinces me to see a doctor that year#my condition deteriorates no matter what meds they put me on#i finally get a more invasive exam that shows my intestines were inflamed#i get put on fucking steroids that fuck me up physically and emotionally#i go through multiple med school exams after spending months in crippling pain#pain so bad id be bedridden for hours#got 6 weeks of migraines near daily#sometimes multiple in a day#stressed out of my mind by the time my finals came around to the point that i could no longer bring myself to care#bc i was sure id fail no matter how hard i studied#visit my friends again bc somehow its already winter again#am a nervous wreck all the time and retreat into my phone#but also hate myself for not spending what little time i had fully present#constantly worn out and exhausted bc my meds are barely working#and id found out i was allergic to a lot of things so i was cutting a lot of things out of my diet#lmfao it was so bad my weight still hasnt recovered but yeah i come back i start 3rd year#the toll the last year had taken on my mental health finally registers#i become too depressed to study for my hardest module yet#UGH THATS SO CRINGE JUST SIT DOWN AND STUDY??#but nothing was sticking on god#anyway im sure ive failed#and la salud mental no es bien or soemthing idk i havent taken spanish in 3 years#anyway deep sigh i just stay losing#i cant believe im in like four fucking research projects and classes and trying to work on myself this shit sucks balls#and clinical rotations...#lord just strike me down
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