#ill wake up to you screaming in the tags and it makes my day
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solardrop · 3 months ago
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love bites
spencer reid x reader
summary: a drabble where spencer won't give you a hickey on the neck tags: fluff some suggestiveness. no smut but its implied so ill say 18+. inaccurate medical discussions. talks about veins and arteries and strokes. i think this can be read as gender-neutral? word count: ~0.9k a/n: something short and sweet from my drafts I decided to pull out of hell so it's very rough around the edges but I still think the concept is cute! I was watching tiktok and a very qualified and well-trusted source said this can happen so obviously its a real statistic that spencer reid would believe. Let me live ok. Not proofread!!
“People actually underestimate the dangers of certain erotic activities like love bites. There have actually been some well-documented cases of people dying as the result of hickeys. There was one case in Mexico about a 17-year-old boy dying of a stroke caused by a blood clot in his artery from a hickey his girlfriend gave him”
You blink slowly at the man you were sitting on, baffled by the absolute nonsense pouring out of his mouth. 
“Spencer, you do realize you’ve left marks on me before?”
“Never your neck,”
“Yes you have-” you pull back to think. You bashfully recall the few times you two have been intimate. Marks littered across your thighs, chest, and ass; hell even a few on your shoulder blades. But for the life of you, you can’t recall the sharp sting of his teeth marring you anywhere above your collarbone.
“Ok fine, but you have bitten me on my thighs a lot.” you recall, “I remember when you got shot in your leg and damn near bled out. So is my femoral artery not a concern of yours doctor?”
He looks away with a coy smile. HIs cheeks redden as he stutters to put his words together. 
“Your femoral artery is a bit deeper in your body than your carotid is in your neck. The skin on your body is actually about two times thicker than..”
Spencer begins to ramble about delicate nature of the neck, firing off related statistics and study facts without missing a beat. You listen carefully, still amazed by overflowing well of knowledge your boyfriend could be all the time.He looked confident like this. His eyes would brighten and every trivial connection he could make to another topic would have his lips twisting with mirth. 
This time, with the topic at hand, you find your focus locked on his neck. His adam apple bobs with every syllable out of his mouth. The pale skin of his collarbone exposed beneath his frumpled collar teased you from your high vantage point. The skin was pristine, not a blemish or scratch in sight. You pause. Have you never given him a hickey on his neck?! You run through the cataloge of your most intimate moments all over again realizing the clear absence in your relationship. 
“... so you aren’t in much danger with your femoral artery for superficial injuries like a brui-oh—!” 
His words are cut short by the graze of your teeth at the base of his neck. You don’t bite down yet. If this was something he wanted to back out of, you’d let him. You wait for him to react, kissing the pulse point that picked up pace since the first touch of your lips to the delicate skin.
You continue to mouth as his neck. Licking at tender spots behind his ear earn you little moans, followed by sharp gasps when your teeth follow in their wake. You move to pull away after a moment. He didn’t throw you off and scream attempted murder when you started, but he also hasn’t been begging you from more either. You’ve teased hm enough for one day, kisses and lovebites on his sweet lips and elsewhere were more than enough for you anyways. But before you could pull away a firm hand at the back of your head presses you back into the crook of his neck. His other hand wraps tighter around your waist, sliding you closer to him, every inch of your body pressed against his. Got him.
“Please..” he whispers. 
“Hm..?”
Spencer’s voice starts with a crack, he takes a moment to clear his throat before he continues, “You can… You can leave a mark”
“But Spencer!,” you mock a startled gasp, “Your precious and delicate carotid!”
“I think just this once is fine..” he murmurs, “and I trust you”
You beam at his honesty, ending his suffering to press your lips to his neck again. You remain gentle. Running your lips along his skin, sofly grazing him with your teeth now and again. His breath hitches above you when your teeth graze that spot behind his jaw once more. You focus your attention there. Kissing and licking and blowing until you sink your teeth down into the flesh. 
A choked groan bubbles from his throat, the sound egging you on. You suck the spot into your mouth, careful to not be too aggressive— while you didn’t totally believe hickey strokes were that much of a danger, you still dont want to fuck around and find your way into that embarrassing statistic. 
When youre pleased with the variety of sounds you pull out of your love, you sit up to admire your work. Spencer looked at you in a daze, eyes cloudy and bottom lip pulled so tight between his teeth you’re sure he’d have a bruise there too later. Your eyes drop to the love bite at his neck, the skin deepening in color the longer you look at it. You tap the spot gently with your pointer finger beaming at the wince it earns you. 
“Feeling any signs of stroke or a heart attack doctor?” you tease.
“No, but we’ll need to run a few more trials to have a real experiment here.” you cackle at his sly wording when he pulls you off his lap abruptly, pinning you below his body instead. 
“We may also need additional test subjects for this research to be truly viable.,” Before you could fully process his meaning he attaches his lips to your neck with a smile.
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fl3shm4id3n · 1 year ago
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ᵢₜ wₐₛ ₒₙₗy ₐ ₘᵢₙᵤₜₑ
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𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧.
ꜰɴᴀꜰ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ꜰᴏxʏ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ (ᴘʟᴀᴛᴏɴɪᴄ), ꜰᴏxʏ x ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ (ᴘʟᴀᴛᴏɴɪᴄ)
Tw: Spoilers? Missing children, child abduction, mentions of death, FNAF stuff, slight mental illness, mentions of getting committed, a bit emotional with an almost good ending?
A/N: I choose Foxy because he is my favorite both in the game and movie. Hope ya'll like this fic.
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You were just gone for a moment, you had to use the bathroom, you thought that he'd be okay with the other kids. When you came out, he was nowhere to be seen. You looked for him everywhere, in the arcade, the ball pit, the bathroom. Then you heard that other kids also went missing. The police got called, you told your mom what happened. You were growing scared and desperate to find your brother. But weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. The police just stopped looking because they didn't find anything. No suspicious activities or of that sort. No one was found and they didn't even find one single body. It was as if they vanished like thin air. But you? You didn't stopped, you didn't plan on stopping until you found what happened to your brother.
Not only that, but your dreams got all sorts of weird. You had always dreamt of the same thing. You were at the Pizzeria, stepping out of the restroom, wearing the same clothes as you did that day, except the place would get darker and more sinister. The people around you have become faceless and the music sounded much more dimer. You'd spot your brother for a moment, then he'd vanish into thin air. Every time that would happen, you'd call out to him. Screaming his name around the pizzeria. You'd also hear a voice, it sounded robotic. It would always spell out something that you couldn't quite catch. But there were some letters that you could make out. 'C...O...M...E... F...I...N...D M...E...'. You were never able to hear it clearly, it sounded like a broken cassette tape. Then you'd wake up. The dream went on for years, you never really dreamt of anything else. If you did, it would always be something that happened in your childhood, evolving your brother. A lot has changed since he turned out missing.
Now it was the early 2000's, you were already an adult. Working a nine to five job at a Target at the mall and living with your mom still. That early morning, you've woken up from that dream. Again, that same dream. You walking out the bathroom, still wearing that outfit you wore that day and the place was full of faceless people and that music. God that music made shivers run down your spine. You did what you'd always do, look for your brother. It always ended with with you entering the main lobby, near the small single stage. And again, that voice. 'C...O...M...E... F...I...N...D M...E...'. You never could make out what he was saying. Then you'd wake up. You didn't understand it. You never understood it. You got ready for work. You put on your red polo shirt with your name tag and your light brown kaki pants. Before you left the room, you looked at a picture sitting in your night stand. It was of you and your brother, on his birthday. You remembered that summer how he had a pirate themed birthday party. He loved pirates. You remember how he would walk around with a black eyepatch and a hook on his right hand. You would even play with him when your mom would be out working late. You always choose to be a mermaid or the villain in his games. You missed those times.
Besides that, you never really planned on going to school for anything. That was the last thing you would be worried about. So you decided to work, maybe save up enough money to maybe hire a private investigator or someone who can help you find something. Now you were at work, doing what you'd normally do. Just helping customers and ringing them out. It was just a regular day. It felt slower than most days. You heard from your coworkers that a security guard got fired, before he punched a guy who he mistook as a kidnapper. If you were in his situation, you'd probably do the same. Now a-days you didn't know who you could trust or you couldn't even look away from a moment because something could happen with a blink of an eye. It was understandable, at least to you.
You've been invited to do things with your coworkers, except you've declined. Always telling them that you were busy or you just didn't feel like going out. It was hard for you to make friends, you had basically isolated yourself from everyone when your brother turned up missing. You never really tried to make friends again. This worried your mom. Since you'd only go to work, go home, eat and sleep. It was a repeated cycle. She had talked to you about going to see a therapist. But you always declined. You didn't want to go and talk to somebody about how after many years you're still on the hunt for your brother. They'll probably medicate you or get you committed into an asylum. You you avoided that topic.
After work, you were back home. In your room, looking through your book. This book had news paper articles, along with police reports, pictures and other things that you've kept for years. This was your kind of evidence that you kept. You'd study these stuff day and night, for the last couple of years. You never gave up. Not only that, but you've tried asking the owner of the place 'William Afton' if you could go into the place to investigate, except the guy never picked up the phone or responded to your letters. You've even tried to get the job as a security guard, but Steve Raglan, who was a career counselor didn't give you the job. He'd always say that. 'It wasn't good for your mental health' or that 'He needs someone who's more calm and collected'. What he probably meant was that he needed someone who wasn't crazy.
You were busy looking at the old, now yellow news paper. Re-reading the article about the missing kids. You've read it many times by now, you might even memorize it. Then you heard someone knock at your door, then they came in. It was your mom. Who had a face of worry. "Y/n? Have you ate anything?" She asked, looking over you saw that she still had her work uniform on, she must have got back. "No, not yet." You responded, then she got closer. Seen what you were reading. She let out a sigh, as if she was exhausted of some kind. "Again? Y/n, we've been over this." She said, then you looked over at her. "I know, but... I just got to find something." You added to her.
She looked at you, seen the dark circles under your eyes. Indicating that you didn't get much sleep. "Baby, it's been years." She said, while looking at you. "You just... have to accept that he isn't coming back." She said sadly, as if she didn't want to say it, but she did. "I know... I just... want to know what happened to him.. or at least who took him.." you added in defense. Your mom then fidgeted with your hair a bit, as if she was fixing it. "So do it, but... you have to stop this obsession. It's not good for you." She said to you. It went silent for a moment, then your mom let out a small sigh. "I'll get dinner started, I'll come to get you in a bit." She said, giving you a small squeeze to your shoulder and she left your room. You sighed, placing your hands on your cheeks and leaned on the desk. Trying to think of what your mom said. Then you looked at picture sitting on the night stand for a moment. After a whole silent minute, you got up from the desk and went into the kitchen where your mom was, to help her with dinner.
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You were at the food court, you had taken your lunch break, now you were heading back. You weren't watching where you were going and you've bumped into somebody. Making them drop a book of theirs. "Shit, I'm sorry." You said, picking up the old looking small book with the title which read 'Dream Theory'. Interesting. "It's alright." He said, then you handed the book to the guy. He was cute. He had messy brown hair and slightly tired eyes. The same description as the security guy who got fired.
"Are you... the guy who got fired from security?" you asked him. He had a look of embarrassment, but he nodded. "Yeah, that's me." He said. It was quiet for a moment, but you spoke again. "What you did was understandable." You said, making him look at you with his eyes slightly wide by your words. "You think so?" He asked. "Yeah, now a-days, you don't even know people's intentions or motives. I would have probably done the same if I were you." You explained. He only nodded at your words, at least someone also thought like him. "Well, I better go, hopefully I'll see you around." You said with a small smile. He nodded and returned the smile. Afterwards, you headed back towards your work place, while he also left to his destination.
You were back home, counting the money you kept in a shoebox underneath your bed. It was enough to fire an investigator, but you knew that you'll need more. This would probably cover the bear bare minimum. It was frustrating. You've spent a whole year saving, yet it didn't feel like it was enough. You knew that you should have got a job sooner, than later. Again, you went through the same old articles and pictures. Trying to find something again. But nothing, it was the same old thing. The same words and the same people in the pictures. Of kids playing around the arcade and one of a person dressed as a yellow bunny. That was odd, you don't remember that bunny at the pizzeria. When was he added? When you looked at the picture of him posing with a girl with blonde hair in pick tails, it felt creepy in a way. Almost unsettling. You didn't really notice this picture or you probably didn't notice it at first.
It was another day, you were in the register, ringing people out. You sighed, in exhaustion. Your feet were hurting and time felt much slower than usual. Another costumer came to the register. You gave them the best smile. "Hello-" you were cut off guard, seen that it was that guy you met the other day. "Oh, it's you. Find everything alright?" You asked him, like you'd normally asked every costumer. You scanned the box of crayons and paper, along with a few things he had in his basket. "Yeah, thanks." He said, while grabbing his wallet. "Found a job yet?" You asked him, out of politeness. "If you haven't, I'm sure you could send in your application." You said. "I actually already did, but thank you for the offer." He responded. You nodded, as you placed the items in a white plastic bag with the red Target logo. "What did you find? If you don't mind me asking." You asked him. "A security guard, at some pizzeria. The pay isn't good, but it's something." He explained.
This caught your curiosity. "Really? What pizzeria?" you asked, putting the packet of bacon in the bag. "It's called, I think. Freddy's Fazbear's Pizza, something like that." He explained. No fucking way. You looked at him wide eyed. "For real?" You asked him, he only nodded. Then he gave you the amount of money that was due. As you handed him his receipt, you hesitated a bit. "When can I see you again?" You asked. "Hm, I don't know, maybe in half an hour while I still have time? Why?" He asked, now curious on why you'd want to see him. "It's cause... I'd like to talk to you about something. It'll be worth your while, I promise." You said, he thought of it for a minute, then he nodded. "Alright, I'll meet you in the food court... When does your shift in end?" he asked. "In about an hour, what's your name by the way?" You asked him. "It's Mike." He told kindly, as you hummed in response. Watching him leave in a bit of a hurry, you went back to work hoping that the time would go by fast.
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After that hour, you were at the food court, waiting for Mike to arrive. He finally did. "Thanks for coming." You said almost shyly. "No problem, but just make it quick. I got to get back home to get ready for my first shift." He explained. You and him sat on a table. "Look, I know you've only known me for a bit. But, please hear me out." You said. Mike nodded, allowing you to processed. "Could you, maybe let me in the pizzeria, while you do your job. I'm just looking for something." You explained to him. He looked at you with a look of confusion. "Don't worry, I'm not going to steal anything, I'm just looking for something." You explained to him. But he wanted to know a bit more. "I don't know. What exactly are you looking for? Treasure of some kind?" He asked. "Well, almost something like that." You told him, but he still not very convinced. You didn't know whether you should tell him the whole story on why you're interested in going into the pizzeria. You just skipped the subject.
"Not only that, but I'll pay you for your troubles. I just want to go in and look, then I'm out." You added, as soon as you said 'paid' he looked at you with more reason. "How much?" he asked. "Two-hundred dollars per night. It'll just be this week and no more." You told him, seen the look of shock in his face. He thought for a minute. Then he nodded his head. "Alright deal, but, you have to pay first. I don't want to get scammed or anything." He said, then you grabbed your wallet and handed him two fifty dollar bills. He took the money and looked at it, in almost as if he'd never seen that amount in while. "That's all I have for now, but I'll give you the rest afterwards." You explained to him. Mike nodded, he seemed as if he was convinced. "Alright, it's a deal then." He said. After that was settled. "Before I go, here's my house number. Call me if anything." You explained to him, writing your house number on a piece of paper and gave it to him. You normally wouldn't give your number to anyone, but you knew that you'd be seen him for the next couple days.
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Back home, you told your mom that you'd be going out at night for the whole week. For some kind of night shift and you'd be back at 6:00 am. You left home and headed to the pizzeria. It was 11:55 pm. You were sitting in your car, waiting for Mike to arrive. A few minutes passed and he had arrived at 12:00 am. On time. He told you to just be smooth and not make it seem as if you were here. He sounded as if he really needed this job. You nodded understandingly and went to search.
Like before, you searched everywhere that you could. Except you got to look more. In the kitchen, boiler room and in the back. But nothing. Despite not finding anything, you'll be back tomorrow night. When you got back to the main lobby, you heard strange movements coming from the single stage. It had dark purple curtains like the main one. You got a bit close, trying to listen and see closely on what was making the inside of the stage move. You reached out and tried to pull the curtains, until you heard the Mike called out to you. "Hey, it's 6:00, we gotta go." He said, you nodded at him, you looked back at the stage. Before you headed out. "Here's the rest." You told him, giving him the other two fifty bucks. He took them. "Thanks." He said, putting the money in his pocket. "No, thank you for letting me do this. I know it's risky." You said with a small smile. "It's nothing really, I just... really need the money and the pay here is not so great. From what I was told." He explained. You nodded. "I understand." You responded to him. "Well, I'll see you later tonight?" you asked him. "Yeah. See ya." He responded with a small awkward smile, then headed to his car. You did the same.
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You went home, slept for a few hours. You had that dream once again. But, there was a slight change. When you got to the small single stage, the voice sounded much different than before. 'Y...O...U... F...O...U...N..D... M... E...' You could slightly make out the letters, but the words completely. Then you woke up again. Like always. You got ready and went to work and after work you went home, then you left to the pizzeria at the same time as you did before. Mike arrived, you paid him the while two hundred dollars and you got to doing what you were doing. You searched in the same places, but this time you looked more in the main lobby. It felt as if you were getting closer to finding something, and that something was in the main lobby. You looked under the tables, bathrooms and even in the trashcans, but nothing. But it still felt close. Looking over at the single stage, you noticed that the curtains were open. You walked over to it, and saw that it was empty. Dammit, you thought something would be in there, before you could leaned close to look inside. You heard a loud thud in the office.
Quickly you ran towards the office. "Mike?" You called out to him, seen that he was on the floor groaning in pain. Bleeding from his arm. You went over and helped him up from the floor. "You good? What happened?" you asked him, setting him back on the chair. "I think so, dunno how that happened." He said, referring to the wound on his arm. It looked nasty. You looked around the office, trying to find a first aid kit. When you found it, you helped him patch up his wound. "What did you do?" You asked him, as you tightened the bandages on his arm. "I have no idea, I just dreamed of this kid, with a pirate hook. I chased after him, then he slashed me." He said, this caught your attention. 'Boy with a pirate hook.' That must have been a sign somehow.
When you got back home, your mom was getting ready to leave. You talked for a bit before she left. When she did, you went to catch some sleep before work. You went back to that same dream, back at the pizzeria, except you were in the last place where it ended. At the single stage, it was open. But it was empty. You got close, leaning in to look inside, but it was dark. All most like a bottomless pit. You stoke your hand in to see if you might find something, inside but you felt something grabbing your hand in the process. You heard the voice again. 'Y...O...U... F...O...U...N..D... M... E...'. Then the house phone rang. Making you wake up with a loud gasp, a bit frightened. Groaning that you've been woken up. You got up and walked towards the living room. You picked up the phone and answered.
"Hello?" you asked through the phone. "Y/n? Hey it Mike, sorry to interrupt whatever you were doing, but. Did you break into the pizzeria earlier this morning?" He asked, sounding worried in a way. "No? I was home the whole time. Why what happened?" You asked him. "Apparently someone or a group of people broke in. I just wanted to conform something." He explained. "That was it, sorry for interrupting." He apologized. "It's alright, I get it. I'll see you later tonight." You said, then you hung up. Who the hell would break into the pizzeria? That was a bit suspicious. You looked at the time and saw that it was close to being time to go to work. You sighed, walking back to your room to get ready.
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Later that night, you were back at the pizzeria, waiting for Michael. He arrived, once he parked and stepped out of the car, then he went to the passenger door and opened it. A little girl stepped out with a small back pack. They both approached you. "Sorry, I couldn't get a hold of the babysitter and I just couldn't leave her alone." He explained to you. "Are you Mike's girlfriend?" she asked. Making you giggle and her brother's face turned a slight red. "Nah, just a friend." You replied to her. "Hm, I didn't think he'd have any." She said, making you laugh and Michael's face becoming redder. After you had a small introduction, you went in.
The place was trashed and a mess. While Mike went to put Abby to sleep, you decided to get some cleaning supplies to help clean the mess. You went to the janitor's closet to find some things, you spotted how on the door there was a dark liquid that had been splattered on there. Weird, it looked almost similar to blood, it was probably an old stain of some sort. You got brooms, dustpans, a bucket, mop and cleaning products. Then headed back to the main lobby. When Michael arrived, you and him got to cleaning. You both swept, mopped and you stocked up the chair and tables. Afterward, he went back to the office while you went on your search. Trying to find any kind of new clues maybe, but nothing. Some 'evidence' must have been cleaned up. You headed back to the office and saw that Mike was asleep and Abby had woken up. "Can you take me to the bathroom please?" She asked. You looked over at her sleeping brother and back at her. "Yeah, lets go." You said, taking her hand and leading her to the restroom.
You were waiting outside of the restroom, waiting for her to finish so that she could go back to her brother. The door opened and she walked out. "Done." She said with a small smile. Then a small noise was heard in the stage. You and Abby looked over for a minute. "Stay behind me." You said, then you slowly walked towards the lobby, with Abby behind you. You saw how the stage slightly shook, you kept the younger kid behind you, grabbing a broom. To defend yourself. Then the curtains of both the stages opened, revealing the animatronics. Of a bunny, bear, and a chick. They were all in good condition, with a bit of dirt and dust on them. The single stage had a fox, a bright red one that was more tattered than the rest, also with some dust.
They all moved their heads, towards your direction. Then they began to walk towards you both. You don't remember them doing that. You held the broom tightly, and kept Abby behind you. Except she peaked and looked towards the animatronics. "Those are my friends." She said, removing herself from behind you and going up to the four animals. "Abby wait." You said, getting closer to them. She seemed as if she knew them. Did she? You kept your broom in hand, watching as Abby interacted with them as if she's known them all her life. You felt something touch your shoulder, looking over, you saw the red fox. He was moving his ears and hook for a hand excitedly. Instead of feeling scared, you felt some kind of attraction? "It's okay, he just wants to hug you." Abby said to you, now the animatronics were looking at you. "He does?" you asked her, she then nodded.
Turning to face the fox, that was twice your size. You set the broom aside, then you extended your arms and moved closer to him. He did the same. You wrapped your arms around the cold fur like robotic body. His arms were around your smaller body. It felt a bit odd, but the more you hugged him, it felt comforting. You felt his hook for a hand giving you small pats, as a way to ease you. This felt nice, then you pulled away from him. Looking at him in his single eye. He moved his jaw excitedly, as well as his ears. It was cute in way. You gave him a small smile. Out of nowhere Abby began to laugh, you looked over and saw how the others were tickling her. She just laughed, which lead to some playful screaming and her telling them to stop. It was all fun and games, until you heard Mike run in to see what was happening.
As soon as he got there, he assumed Abby and you were in some kind of danger, he then grabbed a chair and held it up, as Freddy approached him. About to fight him. "It's okay Freddy, he's my brother Mike." Abby said towards Freddy, who had seemed to have calmed down. Allowing him to let Mike pass. "Mike, this is Bonnie, Foxy and Chica. Everyone, this is Mike." Abby introduced everyone to on another. "This is... is a joke right?" He asked, looking confused at you. "I thought I was tripping, but no." You responded to him. "It's okay Mike, they just want to play." Abby told Mike, then Chica turned to her and gave her a wink, making her smile.
"Alright, it's time to go, come on." He encouraged Abby. "Hold on." She responded to him, then she grabbed her little notepad and a red marker from her pocket. She drew something real quick and tore it off the notepad. Bonnie held out his hand, letting Abby put the picture on his palm. He then showed the picture to Foxy who looked very interested in the heart drawn on the paper. "I had a lot of fun." Abby told them, she then walked towards Mike. But stopped and gave Freddy a nice hug. Freddy returned the hug back. You looked at Foxy, who was waving his ears and jaw rapidly again. Also waving his hook around as if he was waving at you. "I'll see you around?" you asked him, he nodded his head. Then you walked out of the place with Mike and Abby.
"That was something." Mike said, watching Abby get in his car. "Yeah, it was." You responded, looking back inside, seen that Foxy was near the door. You guessed to make sure that you would all leave. You turned back to Mike who was closing and locking the gate. "So, find something?" He asked again. "Not yet, but I'm much closer than before." You explained to him. After he finished locking up the door. "I better get going. I got work in a few hours." You told him. "Alright, I'll probably stop by." He teased, making smile. "Alright, don't be a stranger." You told him, then you looked at Abby. "Goodbye Abby." You said kindly to her and she gave you smile, then you headed to your car, turned on the engine to get home. Back home, your mom wasn't there. You assumed she went to work early. You took off your shoes and just jumped on the couch, getting comfortable. Taking yet another nap before work. Hopefully afterwards you could get some better sleep. You fell asleep shortly afterwards.
You back at the pizzeria, except wasn't almost scary looking and dark like before. It seemed more friendly and nice to be in. You were standing outside the bathroom, the same clothes as before. Looking around, you saw someone in front of the single stage, they were small, like a child. You got closer to see who it was. Your eyes widen when you saw the back of that person's back of his head. They slowly turned around. You saw that it was your brother, he looks just like how he did when he went missing. He had on his orange shirt with blue jeans, shoes and his pirate hook that he had made.
"You found me." He said, you felt your eyes watering. It's been so long since you've seen your brother. You almost forgot how he looked like. You said his name in a whisper, then you went over, getting on your knees and pulling him into a hug. "Oh...I'm so sorry, I was only gone for a minute. I knew I should have been more watchful of you." You said, as you cried more, hugging your brother. "It's okay. You found me" He responded to you, all you could do was hug him and cry. As much as you wanted to continue to hug and be with him, you couldn't. This was only a dream. You pulled away, and looked at him in the eyes. "Please... I have to know... who took you?" You asked him, hoping that he'd give you answer or a clue. He didn't say anything. "Please tell me, who took you from me and mom?" You asked him again, but again. Nothing. Before you could ask him again. You woke up.
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bellarkeselection · 11 months ago
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for cole walter, could you do one where reader replaces jackie (so her fam died and she moved in with the walter’s) and cole doesn’t really like her. one day she gets a cold, and cole takes care of her (begrudgingly) and realizes she isn’t so bad 🫶🏼🥹
Cole Walter Does Care
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Tag list- send me an ask to be added @cognacdelights @connieisthesun
I rolled over in my bed and felt a headache coming on the second I woke up which really sucked. Slowly sitting up I thought I would feel better that only seemed to make it worse. My nose was beginning to get stuffy and my throat felt dry. Footsteps came from the hallway and I heard whoever it was pause outside my door. “Hey Y/n, my mom is making breakfast. Woah you don’t look too good.”
“Thanks Alex - uh I didn’t know that.” I started coughing and then reached over needing to blow my nose into some tissues.
He entered my room with a sad expression. “I can get my mom to check you out if you want.”
“Please do.” I whimpered, sounding so helpless tugging the covers back over my chest.
He nodded, rushing out of the room and going downstairs to go get her. “On it, Y/n.” Once he was gone I yanked the coves over my head screaming and coughing into my blankets.
“Sounds like there’s a dying angry animal in here. Oh no sorry it’s just you Y/n.” I noticed the voice of Cole who when I peaked my head above the blanket saw that he was leaning in my doorway.
Grumbling under my breath I really wasn’t in the mood for his teasing. “Go away Cole. I’m not feeling good and you’ll just make it worse.”
“Ah now I’m offended since most people find my company to be quite enjoyable.” He walked into my bedroom sitting down on the side of my bed moving the cover down from my eyes so he could see some of my face.
“Well I d-don’t-“ I attempted to say but another coughing fit had to hit me right before his mother and Alex came back into my bedroom.
Catherine sat down and pushed Cole off the bed, putting a hand to my forehead. “Oh you're burning up. You'll just have to stay in bed today and miss the fair.”
“Okay Skylar and Tara won't be happy.” I responded in a tired breath.
She shakes her head eyeing her older son. “I'm sure they'll understand honey. Cole, I need you to stay and take care of her.”
“What the hell!” He raised his voice, accidentally cursing at his mother.
I sat upright on the pillows but had a coughing fit as a result. “No! He doesn't need to be here…”
“This is not up for discussion. Y/n you are really sick and Cole you will be staying home to take care of her. Because you're grounded after we found out you were sneaking girls out of the house. Come on, Alex.” She got to her feet and she left with Alex following her downstairs leaving us alone in my bedroom together.
Laying my head back down on the pillows I yanked the covers over my head screaming into it until Cole made a comment. “Don't think I'm happy about this either.”
“Oh sure. I'm sorry my illness prevented you from hooking up with Erin or Olivia or Paige!” I snapped at him.
His green eyes glared at me. “You don't have the right to judge my life.”
“Neither do you about me then!” I growled turning my back towards him.
Cole watched me for a little while hearing me doze off for a few hours of sleep. He sure found you annoying at times but there was something about you that he liked. It was the fact that you fought with him over the most ridiculous stuff. Most girls just fell at his beck and call except you. He walked around the room noticing a notebook laying on the desk. “Y/n's diary…hmm. I can't deny that I may have feelings for Cole even though he drives me nuts.” He debated reading it but when he flipped to one of the middle he heard you groan waking up.
“Cole, I'm gonna puke.” I moaned, struggling to get out from under the blankets.
He dropped the book rushing over to me, he put one arm underneath my shoulder and the other under the back of my knees carrying me through the door and across to the bathroom on this floor. “I've got ya…I've got ya.” He reassured me when I collapsed onto my knees puking in the toilet.
I felt one of his hands holding my hair back and the other was rubbing my back till I was finished. “Thanks Cole…”
“You’re welcome. See I'm not a total asshole.” He responded sitting across from me on the floor. His honey blonde hair was tossed and in his eyes like always.
Hugging my knees to my chest, my hair was a wreck and my nose was red. I looked like a complete mess and I didn't care for it one bit. His green eyes remained on me before I asked him not to handle the silence well. “If you wanna say something to me just go on and get it out, Walter.”
“I read part of your diary after you fell asleep. I know how you feel about me and honestly I'm shocked given how I've treated you.” He shrugged his shoulders like it was just a casual thing to say to someone.
I raised my voice in frustration grabbing a tissue when I had to sneeze two or three times. “You read my diary! Cole, you have no right to that. How much did you read - god I want to crawl in a hole now I'm so embarrassed.” Covering my face that was red as a tomato avoiding his gaze.
“Aren't you going to ask me how I felt about it?” Cole questioned with a curious look on his face.
Knitting my brows at the former star football player. “You’re telling me you have a crush on me. Yeah right. I'll believe it in another universe.”
“Do you believe me when I do this?” He shifted onto his knees coming closer to me.
Lifting my head up he cut my question off. “What are you doing-” His lips landed right on mine. Cole scooted closer and placed his hands on either side of my face. I wanted to push him away because I was sick and two because he shouldn't even couldn’t really be kissing me now.
Trailing my hands up his chest my arms wrapped around his neck and he moaned into the kiss after we had gotten closer. Cole tugged me up to sit down on his lap wrapping his arms around my waist holding me close to his chest as possible. “Cole, stop - Cole stop. We can’t be doing this.” Pushing my hands on his chest he drew back confused.
“Because you're sick. I don't care about that. I just needed you to know that I actually care about you, Y/n.” He declared still cupping my face on his hands green eyes so focused on me.
Moving one hand through his honey hair, my other drops to his shoulder blade. “I can't believe it, Cole Walter has a crush on me. Here I was thinking you hated me.” I chuckled with a half grin.
“Why did you think I only picked on you when you first got here. I figured you had a thing for bad guys in you somewhere. Just had to bring it out of ya, darling.” Cole tucked hair behind my ear before he could hear a lot of footsteps heading up the wooden stairs outside the shut bathroom door.
“What do we - uh do!” I sneezed where Cole gave me a tissue and I wiped my nose watching him get to his feet.
He scooped me up bridal style once more where I wrapped my arms around his neck enjoying the feeling of being in his arms like this. “Don't worry, we'll go to my room. They all know better than to go in there…now where we're we?” He carried me quickly out and into his room, closing and locking the door.
“Cole, I'm nowhere near ready for that kind of thing. Sorry if that disappoints you.” I apologize for crawling under the covers on his bed, blushing a deep shade of red.
He kicked off his shoes and got in beside me, gently pushing my head down in the crock of his neck so I would fall asleep. “I don't care about sleeping with you yet. I just wanted to see you blush.”
“Cole!” I punched his chest hearing him laugh and it was music to me considering he rarely ever laughs.
He kissed the crown of my head and watched my eyes begin to close shut. “I'm just playing with ya, Y/n. Now get some rest.” I closed my eyes and looped my hand with his freehand that wasn't playing with hair to make me dose off in his arms.
Comments really appreciated ❤️
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butchcarmy · 6 months ago
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Blood Orange (Ch 2: The Bathroom)
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Carmy Berzatto x Reader (R18, MDNI)
Rating: E (5.7k)
links: fic playlist, pinterest board, ao3 link, ch 1
Chapter Summary: No more fucking your boss. That’s what you’ve been telling yourself, but he doesn’t make it easy, even as you find yourself wanting to scream. Somehow it all falls away when you lower yourself to your knees before him. You don’t know if there’s any stopping this anymore. 
Content Tags: work sex, blow jobs, mouth fucking, CUM PLAY, dom/bossy carmy, coworkers with benefits, carmy being difficult, mental illness, they/them reader, gender neutral reader, the usual
A/N: WHEW. It’s here! Thanks for waiting y’all. I think I embarrassed myself writing this one (flushed emoji). It’s ramping up. Next chapter is gonna be big one. Let me know what you guys think, and enjoy! <3
Before you go to work the next morning, you make yourself come on your fingers. It would've been twice if you had more time. 
You open your eyes waking from a dream with his ghostly blue eyes and low voice, and you already know you're wet before you even touch yourself. The pads of your reaching fingers chase the tender spot Carmy stroked inside of you, but they don't quite make it. Of course they don't. 
Fingering yourself eases the ache for a little while. On the early morning transit with headphones over your ears, you still manage to find yourself aching for him. The music doesn't cover up the sound of his voice, and you catch yourself grimacing in the faint reflection of the dirty metro windows. 
This is not a good way to start your second day at work.
Since you left the walk-in yesterday, Carmy's been following you around like a mosquito in the summer, whizzing around your head, buzzing in your ears. You can't rid your thoughts of him. When you close your eyes, you're trapped in the fridge with him, again, and his fingers are deep inside you. 
Fuck. You're standing in front of the restaurant, willing yourself to go in. Just stop it, you think to yourself. 
You really should be more mad at him. He technically never apologized for insulting you, but you suppose you didn't expect him to in the first place. You didn't usually get apologies at places like this, from people like him. You don't want to get in the bad habit of expecting good things from broken people.
No more fucking your boss, you think resolutely to yourself, and that's the thought you meditate on as you open the door. 
By this time yesterday, there were already a couple of people floating around the kitchen. Today, you find dim lights and silence. Your footsteps feel too loud on the white linoleum as you walk to the lockers to drop off your stuff. You can’t pretend to understand the schedule yet.
“Carmen?” You pace around again as you secure your apron with a tie. No response. Surely he's here, at least. Someone had to open the place. 
You take a couple more steps when you hear his voice. 
“No, I'm not—that's not what I was sayin’.” The direction of his voice sounds like it's coming from his office. “Of course I miss him. Sugar—” A pause. “I know. Yeah. It's bullshit.” He laughs then, you think. You can't measure how genuine it is. “You're bullshit. Look, I'll call you back later, okay? And I'll—yeah, I'll look at it. Promise. Yeah. Bye.”
It's quiet after that. You're standing there, not sure what to do with yourself when you hear footsteps. Sure enough, Carmy pops out of the office, and you catch just a glimpse of something haunted in him before surprise takes over.
“Hi,” you say at the same time he says, “Jesus Christ.”
“How long have you been here,” he asks, as you go, “That's an interesting way to pronounce my name.”
“Um,” you start, and he stares at you blankly, unreactive to your joke. Too early, you guess. “I just got here.”
“Okay. Cool. Uh…” Anxiety radiates off of him, making his hands fidget and run through untamed hair. Not that you were looking at his hands at all. “You’ll be doin’ prep again.”
“Alright.” You expected as such. You’ll probably be on prep for the rest of the week, if not the month. That’s how most places go, but this isn’t most places. 
“Your station was dirty when you left yesterday.” You walk up to your station, and it’s spotless. “I had to clean it before I left.”
“Ah. I’m sorry about that,” you apologize quickly. I was preoccupied with other things, you think bitterly to yourself, thinking of locked doors and heated kisses. Not that you’ll mention it. “I’ll make sure to clean it this time.”
“Prep’s gonna be a bit different today,” he says, completely ignoring your apology. You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from snapping. “You’re gonna inspect produce, and then you’ll prep the stock again. Correctly this time.”
“It was nearly perfect, I just misplaced it,” you mutter under your breath.
“Yeah, nearly.” Looks like he heard you this time. Asshole. He places a box of onions on your station, rattling the table slightly. “Do I have to tell you how to sort out the bad ones from the good ones?” You’re honestly not sure if he means that as a jab, but the way he says it makes your insides sizzle with irritation.
Don’t take it personally, you remind yourself. Don’t. Take. It. Personally. 
“How about you show me just in case? Just so we’re on the same page.” It’s a wonder how calm you keep your voice. To your surprise, Carmy doesn’t roll his eyes, doesn’t sigh, he just nods and proceeds. Every time you think you’ll predict him properly, he does the opposite. 
You follow the line of his callused finger pointing to brown splotches on some of the onions. Intently, studiously, you examine the dark spots (indicative of mold), the sprouts (initial stages of deterioration), and the mushy areas (a sign of decreasing freshness). He’s talking about details as he seems to do when it comes to food, even elaborating on the farming process, but you don’t quite pick up that part. You just pay attention to the parameters you need to follow.
No more fucking your boss, you remind yourself again, because you catch yourself aching at the sight of his fingers. Your eyes have a hunger of their own, flickering up and down his muscular arms. God damnit. Maybe there’s another reason you can’t quite pay attention today. 
“Are you listening?” Carmy’s pointed question snaps you out of it. Fuck. You hope he didn’t catch you staring at his fingers again.
“If I can save it and just chop off the bad parts, then I should,” you regurgitate on instinct. “Those are the best ones to use for the stock. Otherwise, I should just toss it.”
For a split second, all he does is fix you with his focused stare. You feel the intensity of it in your chest, your beating heart fluttering with its weight. No matter how many times you scold yourself for finding him attractive, your eyes can’t ignore what’s right in front of them. You find yourself counting his moles. 
“I caught you staring,” he murmurs, “for real this time.”
“I—uh—” Your eyebrows are so raised you’re sure they’re bound to shoot off your warmed face. He’s smiling like he knows something you don’t. You weren’t going to mention yesterday, and after your first interaction this morning, you were sure he wasn’t going to, either. Guess you were wrong again.
“I’ll be in the back if you need help. The others should be here soon.” He’s moving on without giving you a chance to recover. Your brain can’t process the shock. “Just call if you need anything."
Before you get a chance to scrounge up anything to say, you’re alone in the kitchen again. 
This time I'm really gonna do it, you fume internally. Because you have a healthy amount of anger management, you don’t let yourself continue that thought.
Sydney is the third person to show up after you and Carmy. You give her a nod and a thin smile as she walks in, and she waves back. Soon after she arrives, the others trickle in one by one. As you're learning to expect, the quiet never lasts for long. 
There are tasks circling you just like yesterday that you don't fully grasp yet. Everyone seems to be instinctively following their own schedule, their circadian rhythm matched to the chaotic ecosystem of the kitchen. It’s just as suffocating as it was yesterday. You remind yourself that as a new hire, you don't need to understand the madness yet. Nonetheless, an invisible pressure presses down on you. 
“Hey, d'you mind telling me where this produce goes?” A triple stack of filled containers sits heavy in your arms. With Sydney out of the kitchen, Marcus is your next safest option in terms of coworkers. His head flicks up from where he was focused on kneading dough. A streak of white flour is across his nose. 
“Oh, that one's bottom shelf, near the back.” He claps his dusty hands together, flour falling between them like snow. “Here, I'll just show you. You know where the walk-in is?”
With Marcus, it doesn't feel like there are any stupid questions. It's a gift you don't take for granted, especially around here. You let him lead you to the fridge again, even though you remember where it is. It doesn't hurt. 
“Thanks. I'm, uh, still having a hard time figuring out where stuff goes,” you say after you put the produce away. 
“It’s cool. It's only your second day, right?” You nod. “Just takes time. Don't sweat it. You ever work in a restaurant before?”
“Yeah, a couple of times.”
“Then you know what you're gettin’ into.” That makes you laugh. 
“Sorta.” You shrug. “To be honest with you, I just need money, and I like cooking enough, so…now I'm here.” You're not quite as honest with how desperate your situation was on the verge of coming, but it's fine. Not really the time and place for it anyway. 
“I gotcha. That's how it was for me too, actually.” 
“Really?”
“Yeah. Well, that's how I started at McDonald’s. That was a while ago now.”
“I see. It's better here, I hope.”
“Hard to say,” he says, but there's a little smile on his face. “For the most part, Michael was cool, but—”
“Michael!” You blurt out, startling the both of you. “Holy shit, I'm sorry. I've just been trying to remember the name of the previous owner for forever now and—wow, sorry. I didn't mean to shout.”
“It's fine.” Marcus has this amused expression, but it dissolves quickly. “You met him?”
“I did. I came here a couple of years ago when I first moved. Just once, but—anyway, what's his deal?”
“His deal?”
“Yeah, like, why'd he give the restaurant away? Carmy said he didn't want it anymore.”
“Oh.” You can't read the way Marcus’ face shifts. “That's what he said?”
“...Yeah?”
“I see. Okay. Uh…” He pauses, scratching the back of his neck. “Look, I know how this sounds, but just try not to bring Mike up for now. It's still kind of a sore subject.”
“Ah, my bad.” Your brain instantly supplies stories of estranged families, sibling spats, and stolen money. You suppose it's a sour sort of relationship—something you're intimately familiar with. “Can I ask what happened, or…?”
“I'll tell you later,” he replies evasively. “You know what else they got you training on today?”
“No idea,” you answer honestly. The nosy part of you wants to hear more about the Berzatto family, but the responsible part of you reminds you to cool your jets. “Carmy just told me I was on produce. Know where he's at? I peeked into his office, but he wasn't there.”
“Oh, he just left.” Your blank stare makes him elaborate. “He's off doing Carmy things.”
“Doing Carmy things?” Looks like the person in charge has abandoned you yet again.
“Business stuff, probably.” Marcus shrugs. “He does that sometimes. He probably won't be back for a while, so I can help you with training for now if you want.”
“That would be great.” There's a remark on the tip of your tongue about poor management, but you hold it. “Is Carmy a better boss, at least?”
“Compared to Michael?” You recognize sadness in Marcus’ pinched brows, even if it's only momentary. “I dunno. It hasn't been long, but this place has been running more smoothly since he started doing things.” Your shocked expression makes him laugh briefly. “I know, it used to be worse if you can believe it.”
“I'm not sure that I can,” you admit. 
. . . . .
The next several days at work continue to test your patience. While Carmy keeps you on prep, keeping your tasks simple, he continues to find ways to keep you on edge. You stiffen up every time he enters the kitchen, waiting for him to point out yet another mistake. 
Chef, this cut's too uneven. Chef, you're taking too much time on this. Chef, you should’ve cut this part off. Chef, you’re creating too much waste. 
Yes, Chef, you always reply, even as his comments become more and more grating. A childish part of you wants to do a worse job out of spite, but another part of you is hungry for his approval far more than you would ever admit. You wonder if he's this tough on everyone. 
The incident in the walk-in does not get mentioned again. A childish voice in you wonders if Carmy has forgotten about it. Of course he hasn’t, but every time he critiques you, you wonder about the Carmy who kissed you. You wonder what that Carmy's thinking, because you have no clue. 
Has he been thinking of you, too?
This is how things should be, you remind yourself after you touch yourself for the fourth night in a row to the thought of him. Your fingers are wet, and your wrist is embarrassingly sore. I can't have sex with my boss again. I just can't. 
Would it be different if he also touched himself to thoughts of you?
You desperately suck your own cum off your fingers, and you wish it were his fingers instead. It doesn't taste the same. 
The bright lights are irritatingly bright when you come in this morning. It looks like you're the first person here again, other than Carmy. You hear his irritated voice as soon as you enter, which is clearly a good sign. 
“I appreciate you thinking of me, I do. I do. It's just—” He sighs. Looks like he's having another phone call. “I can't come back. Not right now.” Silence. “No, uh, won't happen for a while, I think. The place's fucked.” A shaky breath. “What? What did you say?
“The head chef asked about me?” Carmy's voice has gone tight. “I see. Of course he said that. No, it's fine.” Pause. “...I know what they've been saying. I figured they'd look down on me.” His laugh is hollow and painful. “Look, I got shit to do. Thanks for asking me, but it's a no. I can't.” Another pause, drawn out and tense. “Sure. Bye.”
After he hangs up, you hear him muttering to himself. You can't pick out any of the words other than the curses, but it sounds bad. As you put your things away, you silently pray to the abstract idea of a god to give you both strength of patience. Seems like you'll need it today. 
“Morning,” you tentatively greet him when he sees you. He's not surprised by your presence today, it seems. He nods back. 
“Morning.” His eyebags are dark with a lack of sleep. Upon closer inspection, his whole everything screams sleep deprivation, perhaps a bit more so than usual. His messy hair seems particularly unkempt today. “You're doing prep again today.”
“I figured.” 
“You need to get better about cleaning your station.” His words are full to the brim with irritation. “I keep having to clean it after you.”
“I thought I was—” You stop. Calm down, you think, but it's getting harder and harder to repeat. “Sorry. I didn't realize.”
“I told you the other day that it was dirty. Were you even paying attention?”
“Of course I was!” Annoyance bubbles over inside of you, potent and unbridled. Carmy barely reacts to your raised voice. Somehow, that pisses you off more.  The cap on your contained anger has popped off, and there's no fitting it back on. “Are you always like this towards your employees?”
“Like what?”
“Like an asshole?” You're too irritated to hold yourself back. 
“Depends. Are you always like this with your boss?” He retorts immediately. 
“I don't usually have sex with my boss, so no, I suppose not,” you respond stupidly, and that makes him go dead silent. He narrows his eyes, fixes you with his gaze. Like you're a new problem that needs solving or something like that.
God damnit, you think to yourself. Why'd you have to say that?
“You've been thinking about it.” The air feels thicker, suddenly.
“I never said that.”
“Then why did you mention it?” Shit. “You said you were going to do better.”
“And I have been. I've been trying to do everything you've been telling me to do.” You don't know why you take a step towards him. “You said you were gonna be nicer.”
“And I have been,” he echoes, and his sincerity makes you roll your eyes. 
“Bullshit! You've been nit-picking me all week!”
“We have standards here, and you need to learn how to follow them. That's all.”
“You're right! I'm learning,” you argue, throwing exasperated hands up in the air. “Cut me some fucking slack!”
“Then learn. Improve.” He slams a hand down on the aluminum surface next to you, enclosing you partially in. Being this close to him, you can really see how dark his dark circles are. You could easily move to the side if you wanted to, but something in you stays put. “There's no excuse for a dirty workspace in a kitchen. I thought you would know that already.”
“I'm so fucking sorry, chef,” you spit back with about as much venom as you can muster. Which, right now, is a lot. 
That shifts something inside him. You see it flash across his face—surprise, anger, and then…something else.
“Dirty work station and a dirty mouth,” he murmurs. His voice is lower, quieter, and it sounds just like how it did in the walk-in. You hate how that change instantly makes your heart pick up speed. “You think you get a pass to act like this because of what happened in the walk-in?”
“You motherfucker,” you hiss, meeting his glare with your own. “So now you're going to acknowledge it? And for the record, I get to act however the fuck I want. Especially with someone like you.”
“Someone like me.” He doesn't ask you to elaborate. He just laughs, breathy and condescending, and he's so close you can feel his breath fan across your face. “You think you're above all this, don't you?”
“What?” The question takes you so off guard that it almost dissipates the strange mix of anger and arousal simmering in your gut. 
“I know it doesn't feel good to have to take orders from someone you hate, but here's the thing. You have to.” He's not smiling, but you swear he's getting some sort of sick satisfaction from all this. Why else would he be saying any of this shit?
“I could leave right now if I wanted to,” you threaten him. “You won't be able to find anyone else that wants to work in this shithole of a place.”
“You're right. You could leave if you really wanted to.” His eyes narrow curiously at you. “Then why haven't you?”
You’re well within your right to leave already—it checks all the boxes. Chaotic work environment. Awful management. General workplace misconduct. Unprofessionalism between coworkers. You suppose you're partially to blame for that last one, but still. 
If it's bad, I'll just find another job, you told yourself. You're not sure why you're not listening to your own advice. The simple truth of the matter, though, is that other jobs won't have him. They won't have the man that's been keeping you up at night, the man that you want to simultaneously devour and destroy. They won't have Carmen Berzatto, and for some reason, that's all it's going to take.
You don't understand yourself. It scares you, but not enough. Not enough to leave.
“...I don't know why I haven't left yet,” you say quietly after a while. “I have no clue.”
“I see.” If he's dissatisfied with your answer, he doesn't show it. “Then for the time you're here, let's make one thing clear.”
“What is it now?” You sigh.
“I'm in charge here,” he whispers. His other hand is on the counter now. You're completely blocked in. “I'm the one who runs this place, so you're going to be good and listen to me when I speak.”
“You're not really giving me a lot of incentive, chef.” You lower your gaze to the counters next to you. “Maybe if you gave me something to work with.” You don't mean for it to come out as suggestive as it does, but with him surrounding you like this… 
“Incentive?” He brings a hand to your face, tucking his fingers under your chin to pull your gaze back to him. His touch is achingly gentle, but it forces it to look straight into his eyes. Your fidgety gaze catches glances of the dark blue speckles that border his pale iris. “Hey,” he whispers, “look at me.”
You squeeze your eyes shut. Your heart's pounding like sprinting feet thudding on concrete. You can't place what feelings are excitement or anxiety or both, but maybe no separation exists. Shutting your eyes was a weak attempt to temporarily block him out, but now all you can focus on is the sensation of his rough hand on your hot face. 
Hesitantly, you open your eyes to face him. Ice blue and dark circles. His intense stare is difficult to match, but you try. 
“What do you want from me?” You ask quietly. 
“I want you to clean your station. Think you can do that?”
“Don't patronize me. Of course I can. I just—happened to forget.”
“Hm.” He smiles briefly. It's just a bit mocking. “You don't have a good track record so far, so you'll have to prove it to me.”
“...And how would I do that?”
“Depends,” he replies vaguely. “Depends on what you want.”
“What I want? I thought you were supposed to be in charge.”
“When I touched you, you told me you wanted to touch me.” The realization clicks in your head. “Do you still want that?”
You hesitate. Memories of the walk-in flood in. You remember the silhouette of his tight jeans over his bulge, and you ache. You shouldn't say yes. You really shouldn't. A distant voice says, you don't want to do this. What have you been telling yourself? This is a bad idea.
Unfortunately, it's far past a matter of want anymore. It's a matter of need.
“Yes,” you whisper back. Your fate is sealed. “I do.”
That's how you find yourself in the cramped bathroom with him. It's dark with one of the lightbulbs having gone out, making it feel even smaller. An eerie green cast coats the room. 
“You're going to show me that you can listen. That you can clean up after your messes.” He's leaned up against the wall, broad hands unbuttoning his pants. Your eyes shamelessly zero in on the motion. “Think you can do that much?”
“Of course I can,” you reply, but it comes out a lot softer than intended. 
“Good.” You force your eyes away from the outline of his bulge in his boxers to look at his face. His darkened eyes are trained on you. “Get on your knees.”
Oh, you think. So this is how it's gonna go.
You wish you could say that you hesitate even a little bit, that there’s even a shred of contemplation left in you. However, there isn't any of that remaining. Obediently, you fall to your knees, resting them against the cold, hard bathroom floor. You're at eye level with his unbuttoned jeans. Slowly, you raise your eyes to look at him. 
His downturned face is framed by wild strands of hair. Looking down at you casts darker shadows across his face, but not enough to hide his expression. It's an odd mix of hunger and what you think to be admiration. Surely not, but that's immediately the thought that comes to mind. 
“Waiting for directions, chef,” you murmur. 
“Mm. Right,” he says, like he was lost in thought. “You look better like this.”
“Watch it,” you warn him. “I could still bite your dick off.” To that, he just briefly smiles, and then it's gone.
He's pulled his black pants down just enough to let his clothed bulge hang over the waistband. The sight of it goes straight to the simmer starting in your gut. You watch his veined hand disappear into his boxers. He's doing this far too slowly for your taste. 
Finally, he pulls out his cock, nearly completely stiffened, and you can't deny the way you begin to salivate. 
You were right. It's big, though not just in length. His cock is thick. You immediately know you won't be able to take the full length of him into your mouth, but what fits is going to be a stretch. You're already imagining how those bulging veins are going to feel against the flat of your tongue. 
“Use your mouth for something other than talking back to me. Make me come,” Carmy orders quietly. “Enough direction for you?”
“Shut the hell up,” you mutter, ignoring the feeling of the growing heat inside you, and you pull the reddened, shiny tip of his cock between your lips. 
His pre-come mixes with the saliva on your tongue. You savor the taste of his salty musk, suckling slowly, and you hear him exhale shakily above you. Looks like you've been given something of an opportunity to get him back for the walk-in. Not repayment—payback. The distinction is important. 
When you pull back, thin strings of spit connect the pink head to your glistening lips. One of your hands moves to hold the base of his cock as you close the gap again. You drag your tongue down the side of his length, licking the thick vein you were eyeing earlier. You feel him twitch. 
“Do that again,” he breathes. Without question, your tongue retraces its path, running back over the line of spit it created. That gets you a quiet, strangled moan, and it's music to your ears. 
“Is this part sensitive?” You ask as you stroke the vein with your thumb. You suck your way down the vein again, making small, wet seals of pleasure. 
“Somewhat.” He sounds good like this, breathless and flustered. A smile twitches on your lips. You lick across the inside of your hand, wetting it before lazily curling it around his cock. He slides effortlessly in your grasp. 
“You gonna come already?” You can't help but tease. He's surprisingly reactive, more so than you would've thought. It's not that you're complaining—it's not that at all. The sound of his low groans is making you drip. 
“Hah—no. You'll have to work harder than that.” You feel a hand pushing back your hair, and that makes you raise your head towards him. His touch is surprisingly gentle. You watch the movement of his lips when he speaks. “Open your mouth, and stick out your tongue.”
You can't quite figure out what it is about all of this that makes you submit. Just moments ago, you wanted to wring your hands around his throat. It was far too easy to abandon your anger and kneel in front of him. Maybe it's the incomprehensibly part of you that undeniably needs his validation. Maybe it's the soft, low tone of his voice, gentle yet commanding. Either way, it has you obeying with a thought in your mind. 
You do as he says. You part your lips and extend your tongue. As your eyes flutter upwards towards him, you're struck with the impression that you must look obscene. 
“Perfect,” he whispers, and just the one word sends something of a euphoric rush through you. “Doin’ so good for me.” 
You soak up the praise, basking in the warmth of it. Then, Carmy spits onto your tongue, and his saliva slides towards the back of your mouth. 
You can't hide your surprise. Your breath hitches, but you don't say anything. Fuck, that should've made you angry, but it just made your clit throb painfully hard. 
He drags his thumb down your tongue, slow and sensual. You have half the mind to suck on it until he glides the head of his cock on your tongue, leading it into the heat of your mouth. 
“Ah—” You lose the words you were going to say, along with the empty space in your mouth. The tip of his cock's nearing the back of your throat. You breathe shakily through your nose. You were right again—you can't take him fully in. It's enough of a stretch as it is. 
“Fuck, that's it…” Carmy sighs. “Just like that…”
His hand holding your hair turns into a tighter grip as you begin sucking up and down his cock. It's an awful mess, the size of him forcing spit to drip down your chin. It's not just that, though. He's thrusting his cock back into your mouth quicker and quicker. You wish he would slow down so you could lean back and suck on his dribbling tip, but his hand has you anchored. 
Time slows as he starts fucking your mouth. Your hands fall to your hands. Your knees are starting to hurt. You care surprisingly little about that fact, instead opting to care about rubbing your clit as quickly as possible. When you get your hands under your underwear, you find your whole pussy already smeared in wetness. You've seeped through the fabric. 
When he pulls his cock out of your mouth (or rather, when he tugs you off), you think he's going to give you a new order. Or that he's going to say something. You don't realize what's really happening until it's too late. 
You watch him bring a hand to his cock. He strokes it twice, keeping his hand tight in your hair, and with a low groan, he comes.
With his hand on you, you can't move away. Not that you try. When the first glob of cum streaks your cheek, you freeze. All you can do is pause as he comes on your face. Even your hand under your pants has frozen, your palm pressed up tight against your pulsing clit. 
With each rope of cum across your face, you feel yourself throb. Carmy is a sight to behold as he comes, long-lashed eyes falling shut with his parted, gasping mouth. He's jaggedly fisting his cock as he just keeps coming. You feel the cum starting to drip down the slopes of your skin, even your lips. 
By the time he's come down, he's left your face an absolute mess. Your jaw feels heavy, and his cum is hot against your swollen lips. You've come down as well, and it's left you with the irate realization that he just came all over your face without asking.
“You could've at least told me you were gonna come on my face,” you snap. Your cheeks are burning. Your argument feels weak with how worked up you feel over watching and feeling him come, but the irritation is still very real. 
“Clean your station, chef,” he responds, infuriatingly smug even as he catches your breath. “Practice makes perfect.”
“Are you kidding me?” Of course. That's what this all was. A fucked up lesson, a twisted sort of discipline. 
“I'm not.” He uncurls his fist from your hair. “Stand up—your knees must hurt.”
You pause for a second before you shakily get back up on your legs. One minute he's messily fucking your mouth, and the other, he's worrying over your sore knees. He continues to become more and more confusing. 
“You're gonna make me clean up your mess.” You catch your face in the small, shitty rectangular mirror hanging on the wall. God, are you a filthy sight, cum and spit all over your face. 
“I had to clean up yours for the past week, so yeah.” He's zipped himself back up. He's clean, not a drop of anything on him. Unlike the mess parading itself on your face. At least there's not any in your hair. 
“This is not the same. This is—” You frustratedly search for the right words. He's remaining as stoic as ever. “You didn't even kiss me,” you blurt out, and as soon as you say it, you regret it. 
Carmy stills. You can't tell what he's thinking with his unmoving expression. You're sure he's about to insult you again, but then he’s leaning in and sealing his lips against yours. 
You're stunned. A small noise escapes you as he kisses you deeply, thoroughly. His tongue drags up a trail of cum and spit up your chin and back into your mouth. Or back into his. You're unsure, with the way they're all blending together. 
“There,” Carmy murmurs against your lips. When he pulls back, you see his tongue running across his lips, collecting the pearlescent sheen that was on them. 
“Um—” You start and immediately stop. You’re speechless. 
“Now clean up.” You hear the sound of distant company. Your other coworkers must be arriving now. “I expect improvement now, chef. Is that clear?”
“Crystal,” you reply bitterly. “I suppose I met your expectations, then?”
“Sure. Closely enough, anyway.” Potent aggravation hits you like a cast iron pan. He drags his thumb in one last infuriating line across your cheek. He sucks it into his mouth and cleans it off. “Don't take too long. I have a lot planned for you today.”
Without waiting for a response, Carmy leaves. He leaves you alone in the shitty bathroom with a now flickering lightbulb, left to clean his cum on your face with water, hand soap, and thin paper towels. You don't know if you've ever been so angry before. 
The anger doesn't make the arousal go away. You rub your needy clit to orgasm, your back pressed up against the wall like Carmy's just a moment ago.
As you come with Carmy's cum slowly trailing on your face, you wonder if there is any coming back from this. If there's anything left to be done to stop whatever's happening. You can't come up with any solutions or suggestions. Only one thing is undeniably clear:
You hate Carmen Berzatto, and you're already thinking of ways to get his cock in your mouth again soon. 
~
taglist: @zorrasucia @carmenberzattosgf @thehouseofevangelista @alastorssimp @talas-starlight @jmamas92
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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 9 months ago
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I'm really sick and Satan's sacrificial waterfall is here AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know if you do blurbs or headcannons, but if so, would you be willing to write for the boys (either taskforce 141, or singular characters,) taking care of an afab reader who has never had anyone wanting to take care of them?
If not, sorry to bother!
I don't typically take requests but... since I'm in the same boat (sacrificial waterfall is probably going to come over the weekend for me), I'll 100% do it.
A while back I also posted this: "You're feeling ill" and it's also along the same vein, if you'd like an extra little pick me up.
Period woes.
Rating: G Words: 1K~ tags: afab!reader but you/your pronouns, SFW!, fluff, comfort, periods and associated symptoms.
A person’s period might be the most hypocritical moment of their routine. They’re expected to continue moving, working and living their live as normal, all with a smile on their face, while their uterus actively attempts to cut off its own circulation… as if for any other injury or sickness you wouldn’t be expected to lay down and STOP for a moment and allow yourself to heal up, or at least improve enough to not be miserable.
But no. You’re expected to deal with it alone, to not show a reaction, to not be irritable, or groaning and writhing in pain. Take a shower, stock up on painkillers and slap a smile on your face, you’ve gotta go out in the world and act as if you’re not actively dreading every waking moment you spend on your feet.
That’s why you’ve learned to hide it when you’re going through your monthly. Your family, partners… not even your girlfriends know when you’re having it. Ever since you were a young teen, just starting out, it was very much a conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know, sort of moment.
But it’s miserable. You’re always miserable. Everything hurts, the cramps, the headaches, the back pain, hip pain, your sore chest… Plus the blood, the lack of appetite (or increase in appetite), the nausea, the fact you want to cry one moment, or break dishes and scream the next, the way your colleagues annoy you beyond compare, how certain sounds grit your nerves just. enough. to make you feel like you’re losing it… And then you can’t sleep.
And of course… he notices it. How could he not?
Ghost is discreet about it. He doesn’t mention it, doesn’t make a big deal about it… But he’s VERY good at taking care of you without you noticing he’s doing it. His love language is acts of service… So he simply goes around giving you a hand on whatever you might need. Food? Made. Dishes? Done. Laundry? Washed, Dried, Folded and Put Away. He finds you trying to do something? No. Give it here, he’ll do it.
The inevitable day that a leak happens and you find yourself angry at yourself as you strip the bedsheets off the bed, trying to be discreet about it so he doesn’t see it, he silently grabs the sheets off your hands and murmurs a “Go take a shower and change. I’ve got this.” before turning to put the sheets in the washer, clean the mattress and remake the bed so you can lay down again by the time your shower is over. It makes you emotional, sometimes, that such a stoic man will gladly take on every other responsibility to allow you to heal.
Gaz, blessed be him, is an absolute sweetheart… But he’s also a silly boy. He notices and although he’s not going to make a big deal about it, he’s still very… Boyish about it. Uses all the silly names for your period (“The Communists are coming”, “Shark week”,  “Satan’s waterfall”, “Carrie”) and affectionately calls you “My little ketchup packet”. 
He’s all for ordering takeout and getting you whatever you want when and how you want it. He’ll rub your back and be very careful about where and how he touches you. He’s ginger with touches around your waist and lower stomach, looks at you with those big brown eyes of his, as if checking that he’s not hurting you or crossing a boundary. You find yourself getting emotional when he whispers about how strong you are to deal with this every month… Keeps asking gently if you need anything… It makes you feel so safe.
Price’s older. He’s been in many relationships before. He notices your period is coming before it even does… Notices how you’re acting. Jumpier, grumpier, sadder… Notices how you toss and turn the couple of nights leading up to it. And he’s silently prepared. He’s made a supply run to the grocery store to get what brand of period products you use and some painkillers and puts them where you can see them in the bathroom. 
Fills you up with warm herbal tea and food that he knows are easy to digest and help with your state. No fucking chocolate and sugar or potato chips, you’re being pumped full of soups and stews and veggies and cut up fruit. He’ll sit by your side with a paring knife and an apple and slowly peel, core and cut it, before slowly feeding you (and himself) the slices. When you try to resist it, at first, too used to doing things alone, he’ll grab your face with both hands, look into your eyes and tell you. “And why exactly would I let you do that, when you’ve got me here to help you? How does that make sense?”
Soap’s… Well… Soap’s got a bunch of sisters… Each of them dealing with their periods in wildly different ways... So one thing he knows for sure: He’s not about to assume anything. You do what you’ve got to, he’ll adjust to you. He needs to go to the bathroom but you’re in there? Copy that, he’ll go piss in the yard. You’re having a cry in the kitchen because nothing looks good but you’re hungry? Talk it out with him, what do you want to eat? Let’s figure it out together, bonnie. You need to lie down in a dark room because of a migraine or headache or just to catch on sleep you’ve missed? Johnny’s blacked out every window, gathered every stray pillow and blanket in the house and will make you a nest if he’s got to.
And when you wake up in the middle of the night with a whine and a stretch because your back hurts and you’ve got cramps and cannot for the life of you get comfortable, Johnny’s hands are rubbing over you, pressing kisses to your temple and murmuring little “I ken, love… It’ll be over soon… I’m sorry you’re going through this…”
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blessedwithabadomen · 8 months ago
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in love with the mess - day eleven
summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?
content : smut (p in v, fingering dirty talk), angst, fluff
length : 6k
tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @blacksoul-27 @somebodyels3 @kageyasma @spikeisdaddy @broken0mens
a/n : Enjoy!! Leave a comment if you do hehe 💕
•••
day eleven
What on earth was one supposed to do when everything they’d ever craved, ever needed without quite knowing that they’d needed it at all, suddenly seemed to appear right at their fingertips while knowing that every move toward it would only make it recede further?
Waking up in an empty bed had flooded my brain with loneliness, feelings of rejection, a cold seeping into my bones, just for a moment, completely automatically, but then the rest of my senses loaded in and as soon as my hearing permitted me to realise I was far from alone in the apartment, my whole body relaxed again. A chaotic mixture of shouting and uninhibited laughter filtered through the open door, interrupted by the tell-tale noises of pots and pans and everything else Oli’s kitchen had to offer. Then, slowly but surely, the scent of coffee reached my nostrils. I inhaled it deeply, turning onto my back and snuggling into the blankets for another minute.
How cruel was the world to gift me this moment? I wanted to sink into the bliss this morning provided. The domesticity. The soft wake-up, the realisation that Oli and Noah were preparing breakfast, the gentle lull of the bed that promised a future that could look exactly like this.
Could it? The pull at my heart stung more painfully than ever. The clarity that all I wanted seemed so close and yet unattainable hit me harder than before. I didn’t want to assume that either Oli or Noah were doing it with any ill intent, but the way they kept dangling this possibility in front of my face hurt all the same. What would it take to get this for real? Every morning of my life? My whole body seemed to ache with the love I had for them.
I was on the verge of giving up. Not giving up either of them or this thing we had going on. Giving up on being quiet. Giving up on hiding my feelings, lying about what my heart was screaming for, making myself and my needs smaller than they were. Maybe then, we would stand a chance. Maybe if I was being honest with them, they could be honest with me too. If only there was any sort of knowledge that their truth would bear the same content as mine.
Five more days of this tour. Five more days until we would, in some capacity, have to part ways. Oli was going back home to finish the album. Noah was heading on another tour. I was… well, packing up my things and trying to find a place to stay. How much longer would I manage to keep my mouth shut? I didn’t just want to blurt out a confession of love, hit them out of nowhere, possibly scare them away with my intensity. But I would have to speak up, sooner or later. Before the tour was over. I couldn’t leave without letting them know, even if it meant the end of things. Even if it changed my relationship with Oli irredeemably. Even if it meant never having Noah again. I’d simply have to find the right moment. 
Or rather, moments. I wasn’t sure if telling both of them at the same time would be wise. They were two individual people that each deserved my undivided attention. As much as my heart was beating for both of them, it would be wrong to pretend it had the same quality with both. I’d known Oli for years, a crush that had been steadily growing, going dormant and growing again. Noah had only appeared on the scene recently, even if he’d caught my heart with no difficulties at all. But it was different. Every love was. Their own, the one between them, was too.
A loud clatter pulled me out of my thoughts. It was followed by a beat of silence and then rambunctious laughter. The smile on my face appeared involuntarily at the sound. Rolling myself out of the sheets, I quickly looked for something to put on, remembering I only had my dress from last night. Pulling a few drawers open, I located an oversized sweatshirt in Oli’s closet that I allowed myself to put on along with a pair of clean boxershorts. My underwear from last night was too sticky to even consider it.
The kitchen was a mess when I entered. It seemed like the two of them had made it their mission to open every single cupboard and then proceeded to place every single item in there somewhere completely different. In between, some cooking that wanted to be an English breakfast had happened. Still, as soon as I was spotted, shuffling toward them on bare feet, Oli made quick work of fixing a plate for me with whatever hadn’t gotten burned or landed on the ground in their mayhem.
“I promise, I actually know how to cook,” Noah whispered in my ear as he hugged me good morning, his hands moving upwards on my thighs until they disappeared under Oli’s shirt. “Not so sure about him though.”
We both turned to watch Oli plate some more stuff for Noah and himself, some of it looking suspiciously black, but he was obviously trying so hard to make it a good breakfast meal that my heart couldn’t help but flutter at the sight.
It was perfect. Too perfect.
•••
The morning was filled with half-edible food, giggles over the breakfast table and slow, lazy kisses on the couch as we took turns showering. Oli ended up lending Noah and me some clothes that definitely looked more ridiculous on me than it ever did on those two men, but it was still better than trying to make do with last night’s outfits again. It still very much felt like a walk of shame when the cab driver all but dropped us back off at the hotel. I almost asked if Oli would mind us grabbing our suitcases and going right back to his place to stay there for another night until we had to get going to London. But I didn’t.
Noah and I had planned to make a quick dash to our respective rooms to change into clothes that actually belonged in our closets while Oli would make his way to the venue, but the plan was foiled when we realised that the rest of Bad Omens were gathered in the hotel lobby, chatting and… well, probably waiting for Noah before heading to the arena together. Unfortunately, that also meant that the three of us were the topic of conversation as soon as we got spotted.
Folio saw us first, his eyes moving back and forth between us, then up and down our bodies as he seemed to realise what we were wearing. He gave a low wolf whistle that briefly caught the attention of every uninvolved person in the lobby, but he didn’t mind at all as he approached us with a big smile on his face.
“Noah! We’d been wondering where you were. You could have told us you were spending the night with your boyfriend and your girlfriend!”
In an instant, Noah’s face had taken on a blush like no other. He dropped my hand as if caught in some sort of compromising situation, his eyes darting everywhere but me or Oli.
“Very funny, Folio,” he mumbled, but there was no humour in his voice.
“Come one, you all look like you’ve had a very good night,” the drummer continued, harshly slapping Noah’s shoulder in what I assumed was supposed to be a friendly, if teasing, gesture. “No need to be shy about it.”
But Noah wasn’t shy about it. Not exactly. Noah was… somewhere between embarrassed and terrified. At least that was what he looked like. The shuffling of his feet, the way he played with the hem of the shirt and then suddenly let go as if stung by the realisation it was Oli’s, the restless energy. Even Folio backed off suddenly.
“I need to change,” Noah announced and before anyone had the chance to stop him or even say a single word, he had set off towards the lifts. He needed to change. He didn’t say he was going to. He needed to. It set off all the alarm bells in my head. I couldn’t let this whole situation run off its course again, whatever the course was. But I also knew better than to push Noah into what would only result in him withdrawing and refusing to talk altogether.
“We should talk to him,” Oli piped up next to me.
“We should. But not now. Bryan needs you for pictures and then you’ve got soundcheck. I’ll meet you at the arena, yeah?”
Oli nodded, not quite convinced, but knowing that his schedule called for him. We’d already taken the whole morning off, it was time to get back to work. I moved to quickly press my lips to his cheek before heading to my room as well, but he stopped me, hand on my neck, leading me exactly where he wanted me.
And then, in public, and in front of everyone still watching us, Oli Sykes kissed me.
•••
“Aubrey! Just the person I was hoping to see!”
I stopped dead in my tracks at Becky’s voice. I’d successfully maneouvered Oli from soundcheck back to his dressing room where he’d have a bite to eat in preparation for the show when I decided to see what sort of mood Noah would be in. If it was time to talk to him yet. As much as he preferred to battle his demons alone some times, there was a point where he would simply end up overthinking and, at worst, grabbing some bottles again, and I wanted to stop that process by all means necessary.
However, I’d only just made it into the general standing area of the venue when Becky called me over. I shot one more look at Noah on stage, in the middle of his own soundcheck and seemingly miles away in his mind, before walking over to the sound booth.
“So, slight trouble ahead,” she said, kneading her hands awkwardly. “Someone on the team is having a family emergency and he needs to leave after the show. Which means we’re good for tonight, but we’re a pair of hands short in London. I have some contacts for the Dublin show so that won’t be a problem, but no one is available for the next two days on such short notice. I’ve already talked to Oli and Noah and they agreed so I thought I’d ask if you could help out for those gigs?”
My brain was whirling with the amount of information she’d just dropped on me. But it was one particular piece it got stuck on - why had she asked Noah? Oli was a given, considering I was technically his employee and he’d have to do without me if I was gone during soundcheck and the actual show, but Noah didn’t make any sense.
“Noah?” I questioned, more to myself than anything else and Becky interrupted me immediately.
“Will you? Please say yes. It’s important. Really.”
“Sure,” I smiled, even though I felt anything but sure at that moment in time. Still, she needed help and if I could be of any use, it would be ridiculous to decline.
“Perfect!” she exclaimed, reaching over the barrier to pull me into a hug. “You won’t regret it!”
I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean either.
•••
Noah vanished right after soundcheck, which seemed to be a special talent of his. All of his usual hiding spots came up empty and if he’d left the venue in some capacity, there was no way I’d be able to track him. Trying the dressing room one more time, I opened the door, just a small gap, to peek inside, but the only person present at all was Nicholas.
To my surprise, he waved me in. I followed the invitation gratefully - not only was I out of ideas on where to find Noah before the show, I also didn't have anything else on my schedule for the day. Plus, I'd not really had the time to hang out with anyone apart from Oli and Noah lately.
A beer was thrust in my general direction as soon as I sat down on the other end of the couch. It wasn't my favourite, but I took it anyway.
“So, Aubrey, how are you doing today?”
I stared at Nicholas with the most suspicious look I could muster. “Nick, in the ten days we've been in this tour together, we've not once made silly small talk.”
He chuckled, a little nervously, a little caught out, but he looked so sweet that I couldn't even pretend to be mad. “Yeah, I don’t know why I said that.”
The silence settled between us for a moment, but I didn’t mind. I figured he’d called me in here for a reason, and I’d give him as much time as he wanted to needed to figure our what to say.
“Would you mind if we stole Noah away for the night?”
“What? I mean, of course. He’s your friend, you don’t need my permission to hang out with him.”
I had been hoping to spend the night with both him and Oli again. Go pack to his place. Maybe have a quiet night in before the four-hour drive to London tomorrow. Get some takeaway. Stare out of Oli’s windows to watch the city as it fell asleep and woke back up. But with Noah making an abrupt exit this morning at the hotel and being basically untraceable ever since, my hopes had been dwindling anyway.
“‘Course, ‘course,” Nicky mumbled, briefly looking up at me with a smile. “I’m not complaining about you spending time with him, by the way. But we…” He looked contemplative, as if trying to decide how much to tell me. “We sat down together, Folio, Jolly and I, for lunch today and we decided we need to talk to him. Because, well, he seems very happy to hang out with you and Oli but then it takes one comment from Folio and he just closes off completely.”
I’d seen it first-hand, more than once. They were right to be concerned, too. With all the fun we were having among the three of us, reality kept punching Noah in the gut relentlessly. I still wasn’t entirely sure what sort of demons he was battling, but they were weighing heavily on his mind and impacting his moods. The other three were probably both worried about his ability to perform as their frontman and how he was coping as their friend. And as much as Oli and I needed to talk to him, sooner or later, maybe what he needed right now was the people he’d known for years.
“I know,” I sighed in response. “He switches from extremely carefree to withdrawn and pissed off in a split second sometimes. An evening with the guys will probably do him good. If… I don’t know if it’s appropriate, but if he says anything, you know… I don’t know, that would be helpful to know… I know you don’t know me very well but I genuinely just want what’s best for him and I’m at a complete loss sometimes.”
Nicky’s hand on my shoulder was so reassuring, I suddenly felt like I had to bite back tears. “I’ll let you know. Unless we somehow get him to grow some balls and talk to you himself.”
I giggled, pushing away the emotions, leaning slightly into his touch, simply glad to know Noah was surrounded by people who really cared about him and his wellbeing. Even if that included bullying him on the low when he was being a diva about communicating properly. He deserved it, to be honest.
“So, what’s the plan for tonight then? Hope it’s not an intervention because that’ll probably make him run for the hills immediately.”
“No,” Nicky laughed slightly. “We’re just going to call it a guys’ night. Take him out after the show. Have a beer.”
I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrow at him a little bit. Somehow, he caught it immediately. The questioning look on his face compelled me to talk.
“He’s been… drinking. I don’t know if that’s a general pattern with him, but, sometimes, it’s to the point where he doesn’t remember things the next morning.”
Nicholas seemed more somber than he had been the entire conversation. The way something flashed in his eyes, just for a moment, told me enough. Enough to know that this wasn’t exactly the first time he might have gone down that road. And that they were well aware of it, too.
“I’ll keep an eye on him. Promise.”
I nodded, finally getting up from the couch with a heavy sigh, my almost untouched beer still in my hand. “Well. I’m going to need the rundown tomorrow. And if I don’t see you again before you leave, good luck.”
“I might need it.”
•••
Some days, things just tended to go wrong. And while, a lot of the time, I could accept that, be gentle with myself and move on, today was not like that. At all. What had started as a lovely morning with Noah and Oli had quickly spiralled into worries about the former, then feelings of confusion and being slightly overwhelmed at suddenly working with Becky for the next two days. I couldn’t find Noah anywhere, but I’d all but given up on that since the conversation with Nicky. I’d check up on the situation tomorrow, when, hopefully, some things were cleared up. At least in Noah’s head.
But then my AAA pass went missing. It wasn’t a massive problem, excluding the embarrassment of having to let people know that the person who was responsible for keeping Oli in check and organised had managed to misplace what was probably the single most important item on any given tour date. What bothered me much more was the fact that I’d attached my Powerfuff Girls keychain to it, as I’d been doing every day since I’d bought it.
Lee was the one to find me, near tears, picking apart Oli’s dressing room to no success.
“Alright, let’s walk through your day then. You’ve obviously had it when you arrived here or you wouldn’t have gotten in. Where did you go from there?”
I knew he technically didn’t have the time to run this through, but I was simply too distraught to send him away, silently grateful for his help as we re-traced my steps from Oli’s dressing room to the sound desk and catering to all the hallways I could have possibly walked. Additionally, both of us had shot messages into any group chats we were part of, but so far no one had replied with positive news.
“Wait, is that-”
Lee was pointing slightly further ahead in the hallway. I was there in an instant. There, on top of one of the boxes, was, indeed, a backstage pass. Adorned with my name. Only - there was no charm on it.
“But- that doesn’t make sense!” I exclaimed, turning the item over in my hands, then bending down to study the floor around the box. “If I’d lost it, it would surely be on the ground and not up here, right? And if someone picked it up, they could have given it back to me, because my name is on it. And why is the keychain missing? There’s no reason for it to detach!”
Lee shrugged his shoulders, not quite as bewildered as I was, but I figured he also didn’t have as much personal attachment to a keychain. I had the pass back, which should be all that mattered, probably.
“Aubrey! Aubrey, help!”
Oli’s voice echoed through the hallway. He didn’t sound like he was in any imminent danger, but I still set off as soon as I’d reattached the pass, finding him in the middle of his dressing room. He stood in the most awkward, uncomfortable way, his head strangely bent down toward his shoulder. I was about to question it when he turned around, showing me exactly what the dilemma was.
“My hair!”
I didn’t know how he’d done it, but some of his strands were caught up in the rings of his black jacket. I bit back a smile, very unsuccessfully.
“How the fuck did you do that,” I giggled, unable to hold the noise back as soon as I opened my mouth.
“Does it matter? Help me out!”
With laughter still wrecking my chest, I started fumbling with his hair and the accessories on his jacket, trying to be as delicate as possible as he kept making noises of pain even when nothing was actually tugging on his scalp. Drama queen. I finally pulled him free, giving him a soft kiss, before toying with his outfit until it was perfectly in place.
“Thank you, love,” he said, suddenly mellow. His hands were toying with my hair now, mindlessly playing with the strands as he stared at me. I felt as naked and vulnerable under his stare as I felt protected. “Can I invite you over to mine again tonight?”
“You don’t even have to ask. Can we grab my suitcase this time though? I’d rather not do another walk of shame tomorrow morning.”
“Anything you want.”
I almost melted at how soft he was. I wasn’t sure if it was me or the fact that he was in his hometown, playing to more people than ever, knowing that friends and family were watching, but I wallowed in it all the same.
“I don’t think Noah’s coming, though,” I added after a beat of silence and only after I’d managed to tear myself away from the way his eyes were seeing right into my soul. “The guys are taking him out. But we’ll talk to him tomorrow, right?”
“Tomorrow,” Oli agreed, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
•••
The show in Sheffield was nothing short of magical and when Oli came off stage, he was an electrified bundle of energy. He was all over me, pulling me into his arms, completely ignorant of the way his sweaty skin stuck to mine where my top didn’t cover me, swaying me side to side.
“Fuck, I just love playing here,” he mumbled into my hair before pulling away just so much that he could look at me without having to fully let go. “What do you say to going straight home? I really need a shower but I’m so tired of venue bathrooms.”
I ignored the way my heart fluttered at the idea of home being not just his but all of our place to retreat to. I had no idea if he’d meant it like that or not, but suddenly I wished for nothing more than a shared comfort place. With him, and with Noah. Instead of dwelling on it, I sniffed at the fabric of shirt, loudly, just to annoy him.
“Yeah, that’ll just about do, I don’t think the uber driver is gonna kick you out for that smell just yet.”
“You’re fucking rude,” he laughed, carefree and not the slightest bit impressed. Then he continued to envelop me in his arms, awkwardly rubbing his body against mine. “There. If I smell, you do too.”
I couldn’t hold back the giggle, pulling him away from where several people working at the venue pretended not to stare at us and his antics, and started making my way outside with his hand firmly in mine. “Guess we’ll both need a shower.”
•••
Neither of us mentioned the way the backseat of the cab seemed a little empty as we made our way to the hotel to pick up my suitcase and then Oli’s place. Even though Oli’s energy was filling the space tenfold and we kept talking, giggling, touching as innocently as possible while still being within the driver’s view, I was sure that he felt the absence of a third person in our midst. Tomorrow, I told myself. Tomorrow we’d talk to him. For now, I decided to focus solely on having Oli all to myself tonight.
The place was as homely as the night before, immediately drawing me in. I almost wanted to collapse on the couch, place myself just in the right way to stare out the windows once more, stay like that until the sunrise appeared, but all of that went straight out my brain as soon as Oli started undressing. He was still in the living room, lights on, with the curtains still drawn open, removing piece by piece and letting it fall on the floor. It didn’t really matter that he was fully on display - no other building in the vicinity was close or high enough to grant anyone the view that I was getting.
More and more tattooed flesh was being put on show and I drank all of it in, studying Oli’s body in a way I never had the chance to before, his broad chest, strong arms, muscular thighs, his half-erect cock. By the smirk on his face, he enjoyed the way I attempted to commit every single details about him to memory.
“Come on, love, you can’t be getting into the shower in all of that,” he grinned, motioning toward my outfit, but made no move to step closer. I didn’t mind. I could undress all on my own.
It wasn’t that I was actively trying to impress or give a show, my entire being was much too clumsy and lacking self-awareness for that, but the way I removed my top, my bra then let my skirt and tights follow before dropping my panties down my legs still seemed to have him hypnotised. It didn’t make me feel insecure. It made me feel like the most desirable person on the planet.
With his hand softly taking mine, Oli pulled me down the hallway and into his bathroom, making quick work of turning the shower on, checking until he was satisfied with the temperature and then pulled me under the large waterfall shower head. It was pure luxury. Both the way the hot water was raining down on me and how Oli wrapped himself around me once more, nothing between our naked bodies, just touches all over that had me sigh in utter relaxation.
I could feel him growing a little harder against me as my nipples perked up, but neither of us was in any hurry to do anything about it. Instead, Oli grabbed one of the bottles on the shelf next to him, stepping back to first lather himself and then me in shower gel. His hands were all over, starting at my shoulders, moving over my breasts with the utmost care, one arm, then the other, moving down my body, my back, my thighs, until he was basically kneeling in front of me. I took it all, the goosebumps following in the wake of his fingers, shivers running up and down my body under his delicate touch. When he stood back up to direct us back under the water, I almost cried out at the loss of his hands on me, before they were back, scrubbing me clean, reaching every single inch of my body. I did the same for him.
I couldn’t tell how long we stayed there as the mirror and the windows fogged up, I still could have remained there for longer, feeling safe and protected and warm, the world outside nothing but a far away thought that had no room between us. But my skin was getting wrinkly from the water and my brain was starting to get mushy from the heat, so we reluctantly detached from each other and stepped into the humid bathroom. Oli wrapped a towel around me, impossibly fluffy, then put another around his waist. We dried each other’s hair as much as possible before giving up, deciding we’d deal with the mess of it tomorrow.
Oli’s bed was unmade, none of us having had the time to strip and remake it this morning and it gave me a brief ache in my chest when I realised just how much Noah was missing, but Oli gently pushed me onto the bed, both of us losing our towels as we slid under the blanket, lights out, still staring at each other as much as our eyes allowed as they got used to the darkness.
“You’re amazing,” he said out of nowhere, his voice a little rough as we hadn’t spoken much since arriving, but it was his words which took me by surprise. “I’m sorry we drifted apart so much in the past. I think I pushed away just how much I need you.”
He moved a strand of hair away, tucking it gently behind my ear, and I had to take care not to let a trail of tears follow. Something in his voice was so honest, so vulnerable and true that I couldn’t help being emotional. It was more than I’d ever gotten from Oli, more than I’d ever thought I’d get, and even with everything that had been transpiring on this tour, I hadn’t seen it coming.
“I need you too, Oli. I don’t…” I swallowed, hard and audibly, my hand finding his, intertwining our fingers. “I don’t ever want to be without you again.”
It still felt like a risk, saying it out loud, not yet daring to say what I was really burning to utter, but hoping and praying that he knew, that he would get it, that my voice and my eyes and my hand in his would tell all. And when he kissed me, it felt like he did. When his hand wound up in my hair, it felt like he did. When he sighed against my lips, so softly, it felt like he did.
I wanted to stay in this moment forever. Anything that meant keeping his hands on me and his mouth on mine. It was so impossibly soft and sweet, it almost made me believe I was dreaming. But then Oli rolled himself on top of me, hot skin warming up my own, every single inch of him on me, his lap slotted against mine, my nipples hardening as they rubbed against his chest, and the kissing suddenly wasn’t even close to being enough. I wanted him, needed him, all of him.
The blanket was easily kicked off as the temperature rose, our naked bodies emitting more than enough heat as my thighs wrapped around Oli’s waist, pressing him harder against me. His mouth moved from my lips to my jawline, down my neck, over my breasts. All I could do was sigh in pleasure, letting his long hair tickle my skin on the way. I could feel he wanted to move further, until his head would rest between my legs, but I held onto his shoulders, then pulled ever so slightly at the back of his scalp to make him look up at me. Those gorgeous, deep, ever-changing eyes that lured me in, even when the dark room, illuminated by nothing but street lights below and the moon up above, barely let me see them.
“I want you, Oli,” I mumbled as soon as we were face to face again. “I just… want you.”
Oli, miraculously, understood. He kissed me again, so deeply that it made my head swim, before reaching down. I gladly let my legs fall open a little more, inviting his fingers in.
“At least let me prepare you a little, my love,” he whispered against my neck, one finger entering me with a sound that was impossible to ignore, a second immediately following. “So wet, so lovely and wet, just for me.”
I tried to get him closer, get more of him, pulling him in, everything that he would give me. I was losing control quickly, of the way my body moved, of the noises that he ripped from me.
“I can’t believe you’re letting me touch you like this.”
At the way his words sounded, voice low and raspy.
“Been dreaming about this so long, you don’t even know. Never thought you’d allow me to be with you like this. That you’d let me have all of you.”
He pumped his fingers a few times, experimentally adding a third finger which barely took any effort to slide in at all. Every single one of his words seemed to send another wave of lust over me, leaving me dripping and relaxed and more than ready to take him. When he pulled away, I whined pathetically, almost grabbing at his arm to keep him there.
“Come here, sweet thing.” He held his fingers out to me, tapping my lips to get me to open up. I licked them clean eagerly. “Taste yourself. Taste what you’re giving me. All for me.”
My brain wouldn’t have worked even if I’d actively tried to use it. I dumbly sucked on his fingers, a delirium waiting to happen, barely registering when he removed them from my mouth again to reach for the bedside drawer. He blindly grabbed a condom, ripping it open and putting him on, all the while keeping his eyes on my as much as possible. I loved how they looked. All hooded and pupils blown, full of arousal. I could only imagine he would be staring back at the same sight.
I immediately wrapped my legs around him again when he settled back on me. His forehead rested on mine, both of us breathing heavily, unable to keep still or quiet enough for another kiss when he pushed in.
“So perfect,” he moaned, completely in tune with mine when he buried himself in me. “So perfect, sweetheart.”
Then he started to move, slowly, carefully, as if he was afraid I could break or fall apart underneath him, and I wasn’t entirely sure that I wouldn’t. I felt like I was barely able to breathe. His cock in me, perfectly filling me up, his hands, whenever they weren’t holding his body up, everywhere on me. His eyes fully focused on mine.
The closeness hadn’t been there before. Not to this extent. And it almost made me want to break out in tears. It was simply so much, bordering on too much, while being just perfect, and all I could do was claw at his back, pull him that impossible inch closer, feel him all over, his breathing mixing with mine. He still took the time to look into my eyes, all throughout. One of my hands moved from his back to his cheek, unable to keep myself from touching his face, cradling it lovingly, a soft moment in between the heavy moans and loud noises.
Still, I didn’t see it coming.
Both of us were on the edge, steadily leaning over it and ready to fall. His thrusts were becoming quicker now, a little more shallow, and then his fingers were on my clit and I came so fast, it took me by surprise. I clenched around him, riding out my high with fingers digging into his back, letting myself fall into the feeling completely, knowing he’d be there to catch me and then he came undone too, low groans accompanying his release as he rutted into me again and-
“I love you.”
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lanafofana · 1 month ago
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Snippet Sunday Funday
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✨💖Thankies for the tag @roguishcat 💖✨
If you're here for BG3 content I'm afraid I've dipped my toes into Dragon Age Inquisition. Read on for some Solavellan Hell Mongering.
No warnings (other than DAI spoilers)
Context is that Inky has time travelled, dated the eggman and now Solas has dragged her ass to Crustywood.
Enjoy 😘
“Then what I must tell you…the truth–”
There. She can see it now, the tell she missed in her first life. The flicker in his gaze. The sudden realization and despair in the same breath. The weighty mantle of grim acceptance settling around him like a funeral shroud. She can see it all like a beacon of pain shining out from his eyes, the dip at the corner of his mouth, the furrow of his brow.
The gentle press of her fingers against his lips has startled him into temporary muteness. Stemmed the tide of this ill-fated evening but she knows it won't hold for long.
“The truth is,” she says quietly, staring at where her fingertips brush against the soft dry skin of his mouth to avoid his piercing gaze. “I know a liar when I see one.”
Solas’ lips part when he sucks in a breath.
“Even one who lies only by omission.”
The breath he releases is slow, controlled and steady, and hot against her skin. She sees him swallow hard, his lashes fluttering as his lids slide shut.
What could he possibly be thinking, she wonders with a thrill of fear.
Reconsidering what Leliana’s network of spies might have discovered and insinuated? Perhaps how to control any potential fallout with misdirection and a clever lie so mired in truth it tastes just the same when she swallows it.
Or, she thinks darkly, maybe he is judging the weight of the Inquisition's value against its potential liability. Dreading what she could possibly be leading up to.
She wishes she knew. Her stomach swoops like she's in freefall.
Wrapped in the safety of mortal flesh and bone, her heartbeat hammers to break free and scream.
“A mage with a mysterious past,” she begins.
Miraculously, her voice is steady, betraying none of the tremulous anxiety ricocheting around her gut, striking against her ribs like shrapnel.
“One with rare, intimate knowledge of the Fade; experience with warfare enough to find kinship with a battlehardend warrior.”
Still and stern he reminds her chillingly of the stone statues he once left in his wake. Is he even breathing? Is she?
“Canny enough to play mental strategy against the best Hissrad the Qunari could offer. And win.”
When she chances a glance at his face his eyes are still closed, his usually placid expression is tense. A wolf backed into a corner.
“An apostate that appeared at the right time, in the right place.”
Moving her hand from its delicate perch on his lips, Ellana cups his clenched jaw, tracing the laugh line at the corner of his mouth with her thumb. His eyes crack open slowly, pools of liquid silver in the moonlight. Mercurial and soaked in secrets. The Dread Wolf carries his own Wells of Sorrow on his face, as obvious as any vallaslin, borne in tandem with his terrible yoke of duty. The weight of them could crush her.
“Did you think I walked into your love blind, Vhenan?”
Solas’ eyes trace the planes of her face like it’s a map he’s never seen before. As quickly as he turns new information around in his mind he’s also memorizing every line and freckle, committing each fresh detail of her that's been revealed in this new light to his eternal memory.
“I have never pressed you to reveal your secrets or why you keep them. I do not intend to do so now.”
At this he can hold his silence no longer. “Vhenan–”
With terrible certainty she knows this is where he is trying to draw his line in the sand. The clean break to spare them both a worse fallout in the future. A desperate, foolish, stupid attempt to protect her that could only have been born from his deep tragic love for her. Idiot.
She can see his regret as clearly as she can hear it. It makes her want to tear it from his face with her nails and teeth. To rip it from him like a mask. Like she did in Tevinter, a lifetime ago.
A lifetime that ended in ashes.
When she’d thought she’d finally gained the upper hand for once and slid her fingers beneath carved porcelain. So naively certain of her victory. Only to reveal the face of a trusted confident staring back at her, also painted with regret.
Ellana hates regret. What good was regret when his hand was already buried to the wrist between her ribs, iron fingers around her heart.
No, the Inquisitor has no need for regret. And neither does Ellana.
Her voice, when she finds it, is a hoarse whisper. “Do not presume to make my decisions for me, Solas.”
He stares at her in surprise. Opening his mouth he hesitates and closes it again, rethinking what he wants to say. Completely incongruous with the heavy hearted seriousness of the moment she feels an entirely inappropriate burst of glee at catching him off guard.
The line of his shoulders softens and the expression on his face turns rueful. “Even in this, you surprise me.”
And then they have filthy depraved grotto sex.
TBC 😘
Tags: @feedthepheasants
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p-oisn · 10 months ago
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✪ moot appreciation time ! tag some of your fav moots and share what you love about them ! then place this in other blogs asks !
okay I tried including as many ppl as possible but these are the ones I can list from the top of my head / interact w the most so </3
@pupicito : SUUPER CUTE ACC ??? like every mb is so unique n cool everyone should frame fish's mbs on their wall 🤕 n also so supportive like every post of theirs deserves a billion notes . alsososo thee most fun person to talk to ever 😞 js so sweet I wake up solely to look at fish's mbs they are so perfect i could talk abt them forever
@wiotas : I was acc so happy when I found out we knew each otber from like late 2022 ish i forgot ... (you knew me since my wannabe edgy phase but 😨) bc i rmb wanting to be your friend so bad bc you seemed so cool n now we're moots ?!?! you're so sweet liek omg ☹️☹️☹️ you always are so supportive n everytime you use my mbs as your theme i feel like biting into a brick wall BC WDYM you like my mbs enough to use them as your theme that's such an honour coming from you esp ?! 😞
@y-vna : DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ??? like oooh I'm so happy to have ari as a moot I don't even know what I did to deserve her 😞 n also you have such stunning jaw dropping toe curling stomach churning mbs like omg ???? giggling everytime I get an mb from from you bc it's literally like a blessing 🤞🏼🤞🏼 n js soo supportive
@jeonzio : scremaing and yelling everytime I look at your acc bc everything and I mean EVERYTHING abt is soooo pretty n pleasing to look at ?? you're soo sweet n also the cutest person ever !! idk what else to say but like live laugh love tee 🤕 I will forever cherish every single one of our interactions bc they are simply the cutest
@koosuvi : YOU'RE SOOO SUPPORTIVE SOBS I lovelovelove every single one of your compliments they make me want to start jumping around my room giggling 😞 n also you quite literally have one of THEE prettiest accs on tumblr like omg pls teach ... your mbs are always out of this world 😖😖 I love you n everything ab your blog never stop posting plz ill cry
@yeritos : JUNEEE my fav my fav my fav ☹️ the best nctzen on this app ugh there aren't enough words to describe my love for you 😞 your mbs are literally soooo gorgeous omg i was screaming n crying when you followed me back bc im literally your #1 fan . you're sososo nice n amazing n everything 🌸 I love waking up to your mbs everyday n eating my yeritos meal 🍴
@tookio : ONE OF THE BEST MOODBOARD CREATORS ON THIS APP literally no one comes close i mean it 😞 your entire account is sooo stunning like you really deserves ALLL the love in the world !! n omg how I love your comments they make my day soo much better I love you so much for that istg :(
@jaes1lvr : literally hugs n kisses to mely 🫂 /p one of my biggest supporters too n js super sweet 😞 your mbs are js sooo unique I wish I could plaster it on my forehead so everyone in the world could see them 😡😡 I will forever be grateful for your overwhelming support like omg <33
@s-heon : super cool person that i really really really admire 🤔 like omg i could talk abt how grateful I am to you for hours, days even bc you were like my biggest inspo ever while starting out n also your mbs 🔛🔝 im so happy I ever found your blog it has such a special place in my heart 🤕💓 i loev you to the moon n back .
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crushedsweets · 8 months ago
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so I can't find it, but when the proxies were helping clocks, you mentioned that Tim doesn't like it when she screams or cries. Something about it bothering him. I wish I could recall.
OK SO i also cant find the post (cuz of tumblrs tagging system) buuut i'm gonna use this to ramble about clocky meeting the proxies again, since i sorta adjusted it...
in my au, O/S syndrome refers to slender sickness. it usually starts with the operator taking COMPLETE control over someone's body and mind, and then slenderman 'stealing' them and making them do his bidding (clean up operator problems) which results in them having a 'proxy mode' vs their 'normal' mode
so clockys backstory goes as usual, then towards the end she starts slowly getting O/S syndrome. i sort of want her introduction to toby/the proxies to be ALMOST a reflection of how toby and clocky canonically met. (her getting hurt cuz of him, him helping her as an apology)
so around the time natalie replaced her eye with a clock, O/S syndrome fully set in. while sick, she couldn't form memories, she had inhuman strength, an insatiable bloodlust - just became a general menace, and because bodies started dropping all around tuscaloosa with operator symbols slashed into walls, the proxies had to intervene.
it started with toby stalking her while she's stalking her next victim. her and toby get into a huge tussle and she locks onto him as her next victim. he chooses to play cat and mouse and run off to the forest, having her follow. i'm imagining an almost comical scene where she's slashing around branches and stuff with a machete and he's like 'ahhh cant catch meeeee' and she's screaming obscenities. . .
then by time he ends up at the cabin, tim or brian probably knock her out since she's, yknow, a huge threat. a bat to the back of her head.
and she would wake up in their spare 'storage' room thats filled to the brim with boxes, old bikes, massive stacks of newspapers, cds, etc. she'd probably have her wrists zip tied to an exposed pipe and she'd be losing her fucking mind. screaming at the top of her lungs, thrashing around, whatever. "LET ME GO YOU FUCKING FREAKS LET ME GO ILL KILL YOU ILL FUCKING KILL YOU"
the way to slowly heal O/S syndrome is being around slenderman(aka in his forest) for a long time, until the Operator loses grasp. the way to quickly deal with O/S syndrome is to um.. no nice way to put this. slendermans jaw unhinges and he oozes this gross fucking black tar-like goo, and drinking it (or putting it into pill capsules and taking those) makes the operator let go. it doesnt really have a taste, thank god, but it is thicker than water.
so it would be a whole ordeal of toby coming in like heeeeyyyy... lol... and he would think shes REALLY BADASS because he's never met a woman like her (so strong, loud mouthed, violent, etc). plus he's kinda lonely in general so LMFAOOOO . so he wants to befriend her, and is kinda ignoring the fat that she's mad as hell.
but she's in so much agony. from the O/S syndrome to getting hit with a bat, she's screaming and crying and never shutting up. throwing up, trying to literally bite and kick the proxies if they even bring in water. so toby would be 'designated' to her because "well youre the dumb fuck who brought her here, you deal with it"
he'd probably have to trick her into taking one of the pills or putting the sludge into an opaque water bottle or something. after the first bit is ingested, she quickly gains more clarity. he'd try getting a cot or air mattress set up for her. bring a book and drawing supplies. he wants her to trust him. within a day or two, she'd already start feeling immensely better and the operator is letting go - and toby would stupidly trust her, and completely undo the zipties, and she'd run the fuck off, and he'd be like FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK. and not even a week later, she'd come back. because she's horribly sick again. and she'd beg for the stupid pills.
and she'd start to trust toby, and eventually kate. . and a little bit brian. but she would still not fuck with tim cuz it is true, he would hate all the screaming, and would occasionally bang on the door and shout at her to quiet down.
but yeah . . thats how she gets situated with the proxies and her O/S syndrome is healed. :3
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justaduckarts · 2 years ago
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Quack!
Welcome to my little pond where I daydream about celestial jesters and maybe possibly other stuff in the future (the Undertale Phase is creeping back in slowly I can feel it). I’m a huge FNAF nerd and I will write a whole essay if you ask me one single lore question (eat your hear out, Matpat /j). 
Some things to know:
Asks: General questions welcome, requests closed for the time! (For Star Holder related asks, please visit the official Star Holder Blog )
Fandoms: FNAF, Undertale, Transformers, My Dear Hatchet Man
Fanart: Have a piece you’ve made for a thing I wrote? I’d love to see it! Please feel free to @ me! I will cry. :’) 
I DO NOT give my permission for any of my characters or works to be used for AI Chatbots. 
Tags:
#justauckarts -general tag for all works that I make! 
#pcu au -tag for Personal Care Unit AU
#umw -tag for Unclip My Wings fanfic (DCA x Agoraphobe!Reader) (18+)
#star holder -tag for the reader x God! Eclipse AU 
#sunfish au -tag for my mermay work!
#lunar phantom -tag for the DCA x reader Phantom of the Opera AU
#HITIAF! -tag for my meta/comedy DCA x reader fanfic, Help I’m Trapped In a Fanfiction! 
#DLNS -tag for my mystery/romance DCA x reader fanfic, Days of Laughs And Nights of Screams! 
#ducksfunnyocs -tag for my ocs <3
AO3: Justaduck6432
Carrd: Duck’s Very Cool Links 
Things About Me: I am 26! They/Them! I write and draw full time! Married to a very silly goose :) 
Works: 
Days of Laughs And Nights of Screams: (Completed): A thrilling mystery/romance (but the burn is slow)! Welcome to an incredible theme park! During the day, a place of whimsy and fun! During the night, however, the animatronics come creeping out to terrorize all who enter! 
Extra DLNS Content: This includes drabbles, artwork, and perhaps even more in the future! 
Glimpse of Us:  (Completed) A heartwarming story of reconnecting after a long time apart! Watch our MC (that’s you!) do their best to help their dear friend after returning to the pizzaplex to find things are much worse than they ever imagined...
Help! I’m Trapped In a Fanfiction!: (Ongoing, much slower updates) A meta/joke story where our MC (that’s you!) wakes up to find they can hear someone narrating everything they do... Coffee shop AU! MC and Author are frenemies! This one’s just for laughs, don’t take it too seriously :)
One Who Holds A Star: (Completed) A gods/goddesses AU featuring a morally questionable Eclipse and his devoted follower (that’s you!). Stumble through the rabbit hole of defying the fate the gods have decided for you and falling in love with someone you really shouldn’t. :) 
Extra Star Holder Content: This includes fluff drabbles, lore, and artwork for the star holder au! Feel free to eat this up! <3 
Below The Surface: My mermay fic! A hot-headed reader and a pair of aggressive river fish tangling in this exciting enemies to lovers <3 Dive into this chaotic adventure and enjoy the ride. 
Unclip My Wings (18+): A story taking place in the PCU AU, set in a future where the world is run by machines. Step into the life of a mentally ill adult struggling to overcome their agoraphobia with the help of two very kind Units. But not all is as it seems. The shadows of your past are lurking just out of sight. (Minors, I am begging and pleading you not to touch this fic.)
Lunar Phantom: Link leads to first part. A Phantom Of The Opera/Daycare Attendant Crossover! You are a hard-working performer preparing for your next big musical in an fancy, older theatre. However, you’ve been distracted by the arrival of little notes and gits in your dressing room. One night, you stay late to practice a few steps of the show you’re having trouble with. But while you’re there, you here the sound of a piano down below...
Thanks so much for visiting the pond! :) I hope you enjoy your time here. 
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fertilize-my-eggs · 5 months ago
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King of decay ch.4
Royal wedding
Ch.1 ch.2 ch.3 A03
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A/n: I deeply apologize for this chapter begin late, I couldn't able to write it on last Friday, I was getting overwhelmed with fanfic at the same day but this story will be back to posting Fridays. Don't forget to check the trigger tags in A03 and shigaraki isn't a very nice man in this. Triggered warning this gets dark afterwards so you have been warned.
I slowly wake up as I pull you close, I begin to press kisses on your neck as I lightly hump your behind.
You whimper softly as you try to leave immediately but I hold your nude bare skin tight as I growl at you.
“ you better behave at the wedding otherwise I'll send you to my personal doctor to fix you. ”
You curl into a ball as you sob, there was a soft knock near the door.
“ your highest? Are you awake… I heard from maiden himiko about your bride. ” It was Kurogiri. I tilt my head towards the door, you begin to cry but louder.
“ please…. I want my husband Elijah, my children Leon, Felicity.. Back with me…. ” I roll my eyes at this as I speak.
“ yeah I'm awake, send maiden himiko into my room, we're going to have a wedding!! ”
“ as you wish, your Majesty! "It was faint but his footsteps moved away from the door as I rose up, you didn't look at me.
“ I'm not gonna marry you… OR HAVE YOUR DEMONIC BABIES! ” You scream at me as if you're having a temper tantrum on my bed.
I crossed my arms as I narrowed my eyes as I said cold as stone.” giving you a fair warning maiden, if you keep this up, he'll fix that little sick ill brain of yours into a better queen. ” you frown heavily as you turn away..
“ I shouldn't let you bump into me… ” you mumble quietly as I tilt my head.
“ What was that? ” you turn your head as you smile.
“ nothing… You look handsome today. ” I chuckle as I look away with a smile.
“ That's much better my love~! Keep that attitude and maybe I'll treat you on our honeymoon.” while I turn my back, you give a stank face filled with rage.
“ anyway.. let's take a bath together while miss toga will help you with the dress for our wedding.”
I smirk at you as I low my eyes towards your naked body.
“ can't stop imagining you… being full and round. ” I sigh softly as I bite my lips.
I grab your wrist as you try your best not to fight with me, I can tell by your body language.
I dragged you into the restroom as I began to bite your neck.
You whine from the feeling as you try to pull away.
“ soon… I'll give you a child of our own.. my beautiful queen~ ” I grip your wrists tight as I pull it backwards.
“ please… you're hurting me, let me go!! ” you yelp at me as I growl at you.
“ Treat me with respect as a king then I'll be nice to you.~ ” you nod your head too afraid to speak, I love the look in your eyes, fear and adrenaline turn me on.
I get into the tub as I pull you on top of me, I begin to scrub your body as I rub your skin tenderly.
“ If you keep this up, I'll have my doctor destroy that brain of yours so you can be my obedient little female.~ ” I lean in as I whisper.
“ you'll be my plaything… something for me to play with.~ if you escape from me, you’ll have a harsh punishment. ” I lick your ear as I begin to nip it.
“ Do you understand me, my pet? ” you sigh as you put on a fake smile.
“ yes of course… your majesty. ” I smirk as I press a kiss on your shoulder.
“ good girl.~ ” I play with your nipples as I pull at it.
“ Keep this up, I'll give you a special gift for our honeymoon. ” I begin to scrub your hair with soap as I lean in to smell the feminine scent, it's so erotic how I wanna put my cock inside of you so bad and to feel your sweet wall around me.
I sigh dreamily as I help you with your body parts, your woman's curvy body drives me crazy and how I want to bend you over and take you fast and hard like a wolf claiming their prey as a tasty meal.
I growl at you as I pull your neck towards me, I begin to make out with you, I grip your wrist as you try to escape.
I hear a faint knock as I growl heavily, stupid toga ruined the moment.
I sigh as I begin to clean myself, I watch you stare at me in shock as you pant heavily, afraid to be near me.
I slowly blink as I frown at you.” I'm sorry… for being like this and hurting you. I won't hurt you in the future. ” I spoke in a soft voice as you narrowed your eyes as you began to wash the soap out of your hair.
I sigh as I begin to clean my long white hair, I scrub my body parts.
I sigh as I begin to jerk off, your eyes wide in pure shock as I smirk at you.” bet you want this inside of your nasty cunt.~ ” you quickly look away as you wash the soap off your body.
“ don't worry baby.~ I'll give it to you once the wedding is done, we'll have a ton of sex once our honeymoon starts.. ”
“ your highest, I'm ready to dress the bride for the wedding~! ” I hear toga’s high pitch voice as I sigh.
“ you hear her, you stay with her while I'll get dressed once I'm done washing. But you better behave with toga and everyone else, otherwise I'll have my guards take you to the dungeon.” you nod your head as you quietly get out and you're quickly getting out the door to meet himko-chan.
I sigh as I finish washing myself for a few minutes, I get out of the tub to remove the dirty water as I get out to look for a formal outfit for breakfast.
My two maidens come rusting as they begin to help me with the clothes. I pick a nice silky red suit as the maiden begins to braid my hair into multiple braids as I sigh softly.
I hope you enjoy this and find me attractive in the outfit, I grab my cloak that has as silk deep red and white fur around the neck.
I put it on as I begin to walk to the dresser, I put my gold crown on my head as I turn in front of the maidens.
“ You look magnificent, your highness! ”
“ The red brings out your eyes nicely and bright lord shigaraki. ” I sigh heavily, I wanted to hear you say those words to me and not these females.
I began to walk out the door, into the huge hallway.
I headed into the dining room as the maiden fixed my outfit for a bit.
I see you at the table in full makeup and wearing a beautiful light blue dress, I begin to blush. Toga may have gone overboard on the makeup but you still look beautiful.
I sit next to you as you nervously look at the table and we begin to eat the food.
“ my lord shigaraki? What kind of wedding are you thinking of so I'll have my people work on it. ” Kurogiri said as he had a notepad.
I look up at him.” I would like a simple casual event where everyone is invited to the wedding, a priest just to do.’ I do’s ‘ and wedded us fast because I'm not waiting for too long. ”
I crossed my arms.” I already vow my undying love for you my bride to be.~ ” I smirk towards you.
“ I like the theme to be red, have red flowers and the tablecloth to be white with red ribbon and afterward I would like to be alone with her for weeks on our honeymoon in my room.~ ” I chuckle at you as I rub your hand.
“ There shall be a massive feast and lots of alcohol for us. Got it Kurogiri? ” he began to write it down as he nodded his head.
“ Of course lord shigaraki!! I'll have everything ready. ” I lean back as Kurogiri begins to quickly get people to work on the wedding.
“ Soon my love soon.. ” you flinch from me touching your skin, I begin to eat the food.
I basically eat it fast as I'm impatient when it comes to breakfast. You eat a bit as you feel like you're gonna throw up.
How can people be okay with a man like him kidnapping me, lying in front of them, focusing us on getting married and having his children afterwards? You thought to yourself as you try your best not to break down into an emotional state.
I watch your hand shake uncontrollably as I finish my meal. “ it'll be okay my queen, you get to have everything you wanted right? You get to live off of luxury in a kingdom like this. ”
You think to yourself, I only care about my family, I didn't want a better life and he happens to bump into me and destroy everything that I love… you can feel rage boiling inside your body as you're desperately trying not to cry.
I try to comfort you but you immediately move your hand away as I narrowed my eyes at you harshly.
I sigh softly as I watch you eat a bit of the food.
“ your highest shigaraki. ” I groan as I stare at Kurogiri, death stares at him.
“ We have your suit, my lord. ” I smirk as I begin to get up.
“ wonderful news.. have you got the wedding dress for her? ” he nodded his head as I looked down at you with a look.(Behave or you'll get sent to the doctor.)
I nod at toga as she understands it and she walks near you from behind.
I walk with Kurogiri into a dresser room where they have the suit.
“ Where did you find her, your highness? ” I tilt my head as I smirk.
“ It was like a fairytale where I bump into her in the flea market while I was walking along.. remember where I wasn't interested in those women who wanted to marry me.. they're so rude and entitled brats. ” Kurogiri nods his head as he bows his head low.
“ Forgive me your highness, those princesses were offered by the kingdoms with a better alliance with you. ” I rolled my eyes at this as the maiden removed my suit and was putting on the new suit. This one has small black diamonds on the collar, the suit was dark maroon color as I smirk at myself, I look stunning in this suit.
It's expensive and is soft to the touch.
“ You've forgiven Kurogiri but she's the one for me.. the way she looked at me, her smile went straight to my heart.” I look downward as I smirk.
“ I had to make her mine, she didn't have anyone and was homeless. ” Kurogiri nods his head, he doesn't say anything just accepts this woman as the new queen.
It only matters that now I'll bring new offspring to rule the kingdom.
I put my fur coat on as I begin to walk out and into the hallway where it leans to the wedding.
Everyone was already sitting but once I entered inside, every person stood up and watched me as I walked forward, everyone began to bow their head towards me.
I smirk wide as I feel pride in my chest as I get to the end, standing next to the priest Atsuhiro.
He bowed his head, and we waited for the bride to walk in.
A few minutes goes by as I'm getting impatient, Kurogiri does a hand moment towards the pianist as she begins the wedding music.
Everyone begins to stand up as the bride walks in with red spider lilies, some on her hair.
I didn't realize I was holding my breath as I watched you walk down the aisle, the blusher veil covering your face, the dress looking stunning on you. I couldn't help myself but get butterflies and that you look like a royal princess. You had jewelry from head to toes.
Once you're standing in front of me, I carefully pull the veil upwards as you had natural makeup, priest begins the I do.
“ Do you take this king to be your lawfully wedded husband? ” You look nervous as you put on a smile.
“ I… I do..” everyone cheers from it as he turn towards me.
“ Do you, your Majesty Tomura, take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife? ” I smirk wide as I said.” I do.~ ”
“ Then I pronounce you, husband and wife!! “
“ The new king and queen of the dragon kingdom! ” Everyone cheers and scream in joy as I look at you with loving eyes.
“ You may kiss the bride! ” I began to blush deep red as I started to feel nervous.
I lean in to peck your lips as everyone cheers in joy, I pull you close as I slide my tongue inside of your mouth a bit, I grab your hips tight as you yelp in pain.
I pull away with a devilish smirk.
“ Let the party begin. ”
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sleepy-achilles · 1 year ago
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Leon's Nightmare 2, Part 3- Gifts come in all shapes.
Tw- Violence and gore. Demonic stuff happening. I'm disappointed by the horror aspects of Leon's nightmare 1 so I'm trying my best to improve it here. Wish me luck.
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Drew frowns at the kids as they make a mess. "I hope your planning to clean that up" drew frowns as athena moves to him. She just grabs his arm and he can't help but suddenly feel cold. "Athena?" Drew asks. "What did you do?" She asks. "What?" "Why did you hurt him?! WHAT DID YOU DO!" Athena screeches. Drews head snaps towards Leon who's suddenly has multiple stab wounds forming. Drews eyes widen in fear as the skeleton blade appears. A long dark body hand with sharp nails appear holding it. Drews breathing picks up as another hand appears by Leon's neck, squeezing, causing the neck to beging to crack and crunch.
Drew stares at the dark eyes staring back at him over Leon's shoulder. A wicked grin and grey skin, long curly horns. That's when a cruel laugh leaves the creature.
Drew screams as he jolts forward, he gasps and glances around his bedroom. Empty. Empty bedroom. "Leon? Leon!" He yells as he climbs out of bed. He's quick to run downstairs. "Morning dad" athena smiles from the dining room where the kids are eating. "Wheres your father?" Drew asks, sounding breathless. "Uh the study I believe he's painting." Athena tries recalling. "Yeah, asked if I could leave so he could focus. Said he had a dream or something." Ophelia shrugs around a mouth of cereal.
Drew rushes into the study. It wasn't really a study anymore, more of a art studio. The kids all liked drawing in it but the only people who got proper use from it was Ophelia and Leon. He pushes the door open to see Leon sat at a canvas painting. "Leon" he sighs. "Hey baby, didn't wanna wake you but I couldn't help it. Needed to paint this thing I saw in a dream last night. Thought this might help get it off my mind." Leon explains. Drew walks over and his heart stops.
The demon from his nightmare. "Um what was your dream?" Drew asks. "Its weird. We just spent the day together as if it was normal. As if we were friends." Leon chuckles. Leon puts the brush down, turning on his stool to face Drew. "Im sorry I left the bed. I know I normally don't I just needed this baby." Leon hums placing his hands on drews hips. Drew frowns as he cups Leon's face. "Thats alright..baby.." Drew mutters. "I love you" Leon whispers resting his head against drews chest. "I love you too." Drew promises as he hugs Leon close. He feels deep in his gut that this might be the last time for awhile. Drew squeezes his eyes shut as tears build and just rubs his thumb against the back of Leon's head.
"I love you.. "
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Sheamus watches drew as he laces his boots. "You alright man? You seem..off..." sheamus asks. "Just been a long few weeks. With Leon's seizure, pressure from hunter about the tag belts and don't even get me started on H and Caspians school reports" drew sighs standing up. "How has he been?" Sheamus asks. Drew frowns and looks at their mutual friend.
Before he can answer, Leon strolls in. "Hey baby" Leon smiles as he walks over. Sheamus frowns as Leon kisses drews cheek. "Im going to be late home tonight. I've gotta talk business with hunter." Leon states. "Okay" drew nods. "Ill let the kids know" drew adds. "Good. Good" Leon nods. He looks at sheamus. "Looking good man" Leon smiles at him before walking off.
Drew sighs. What is he to do? No one wants to listen. He phoned taker this morning and taker stated he took a look and Leon is fine. Kane even looked. Drew needs so- "that's not Leon." Sheamus suddenly speaks up. Drews head snaps towards him. "What did you just say?" Drew questions facing him fully. "Thats not Leon. Leon would never call you baby for one, he hates that nickname unless it's towards an actual child or small animal. He would never stay late to speak to hunter. He never did for vince. If they needed to speak to him, they had to do it during the show or speak to him the next day. And finally, he's never nice to me. He never compliments me because he believes it will fill my weird obsession with him, but you and I both know it makes me try harder to try get him to be nice." Sheamus rambles.
Drews eyes widen. "Thank you" drew whispers hugging sheamus. "Thank you Sheamus" he pulls back. "It was him last night. But now? Now I'm not too sure" drew admits. "Ministry?" Sheamus asks. "Thats the issue...ministry would know these things. Its how he managed to hide last time. We never knew because he knows how Leon thinks and act." Drew admits. "Oh god..something new? No..that..that can't be good." Sheamus groans. "No. No it can't." Drew mutters looking back at the door.
------
Drew watches as Leon pulls his jacket and vest off. Drews eyebrows raise as he notices Athenas Cross is gone.
He glances at sheamus who also has noticed it.
Yeah. This isnt Leon.
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Athena frowns as she walks into her bedroom. Her eyes immediately land on the cross dangling from her desk lamp. The cross that should be around her Papas neck.
She reaches forward and grabs it only for her breathe to be knocked out of her.
She gasps and stumbles back, her back hitting something..or someone.
She turns and stumbles back again at the sight.
"Its alright baby girl...I'm not here to hurt you" the raspy voice tries to soothe. Athena watches as the red haired woman kneels. Her skin burnt and ruined, but her hair? Her hair and her piercing green eyes are perfect. "W-who are you!" Athena barks holding out the cross. It doesn't do anything which throws her off. "Im Athena. Your great grandmother." She smiles. Athenas eyes widen. "Grandad takers mama?" Athena asks. "Yes sweetie. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to help you."
"Help me?"
"Help you."
"Help you save your Father."
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Drew runs a hand over his face as he walks into the house. He pauses after the door shuts. For a house full of four children, it's awfully quiet. "Kids? Kids! I'm home!" Drew calls. "Shush!" Caspian barks from the kitchen. Drew furrows his brows as he walks towards the youngest. He stops in the doorway as he sees the kids sat around the table with candles, holding hands. Two of the kids holding hands to a empty space.
"What the hell?!" Drew barks flipping the lights on. The kids groan and protest at their dad. "We were trying to save papa! You've scared her off now!" Athena barks. "Im sorry what?!" Drew demands. "Great grandma! Athena can see her! She's like grandad taker, uncle kane and papa! She was helping us contact papa!" Ophelia explains as if it's obvious. Drews eyes widen.
No. No.
Athena was supposed to be normal. She wasn't supposed to be like Leon and taker.
Takers mother is like them?
Of course she is.
"Jesus" drew whispers. "You know that isn't papa! Why won't you help us?" Athena asks. "Its not that simple! That's why!" Drew snaps grabbing his phone. He pulls up takers number but pauses.
He glances at athena, she's staring at him with pleading eyes.
He quickly swaps to shawns number.
"Oh hey drew"
"Shawn..we have a problem. A purple problem."
"I know. I'm glad you finally called. I'll be over as soon as I can."
Drew looks at his phone as the man hangs up. "Of course. Can always rely on you Shawn." Drew whispers with a small smile. "Grandpa?" H asks. "Yeah-" "Grandpa sees things. He has done ever since he moved into the valley. Dad's also started seeing things since marrying papa. He believes there nightmares. There not." Athena explains to the youngers.
Drew pauses. How does she know that? "Grandma athena told me." Athena hums. Drew frowns. "Clean up kids. Grandpa is coming." Drew orders, moving to the table and blowing a candle out.
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Humming of tip toes thru the tulips echos around the empty space.
The lost and conflicted man cups his hands around the back of his head, arms covering his ears. He rocks back and forth trying to block the stupid song out.
A cold hand cups the back of his neck. "You must not give up now. We cannot let him win. Not anymore. Not now." The glitchy voice states. "Why? Why should I trust you?" "Because he betrayed me. He tricked and betrayed me. Its time to stop hiding in the shadows. It's time for me to seek revenge.-" "to stop being his bitch?"
"Exactly. Now get up."
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gettinshiggywithit · 2 years ago
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!Swan dive!
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Scenario:- deku makes a life changing decision;kacchan sees it all
Characters:- katsuki Bakugou ,izuku midoriya
Pairing:- kinda Bakudeku
tw :- character death
Enjoy~
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Izuku was tired
He was tired of the bullying
He was tired of the ridicule
And most importantly,
He was tired of bakugou.
Everyday was complete agony
All because his precious kacchan had picked him to be the target of his insults.
Why did it have to be him??just because he was quirkless????
Why couldnt he just be born with a quirk
Why must HE suffer alone
Izuku was tired
And that’s why he wasnt scared
Its why he didn’t hesitate.
“Take a swan dive off the building ,then maybe youll be born with a quirk in your next life.”
The words rang fresh in his mind as he stood on the edge of the school’s roof.
The wind blew his green mess of hair back and out of his face
And for a second he thought even nature wanted him to see his death
His mind raced,trying to come up with reasons not to.
What about his mother?
“No she abandoned me.she gave up on me when she was my last hope... shell be fine”he told himself
What about ALLMIGHT he’d never approve of this!hed want me to survive!
“Well too bad ‘cos where even is he??hes nothing but a grinninf idiot who uses force to achieve his goals.hes nothing!”
Izuku was crying now,screaming out the answers to his internal questions
What about...what about kacchan?
It was a last ditch attempt but something was better than nothing?
He scoffed
Why in the ever living FUCK did his brain make him think of kacchan????? The boy who had caused him all his pain,whod put him in this position
It was at this moment that izuku made up his mind.
He wipped away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt and smiled
“Fuck him”
And with that he let himself fall
He didnt feel fear or panic
Just calm
And as the air rushed past his face he closed his eyes feelin at peace for what felt like the first time in forever.
It was a pity it couldn’t last long......
Meanwhile katsuki bakugou was exiting his alma mater.
He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and there was an itch in the back of his neck
Thats when he started hearing it
The angry rage-filled screaming
He looked around and then when he heard it again he looked up
And his already-pale face whitened further
It was...DEKU and he was screaming from the school roof
Katsuki suddenly remembered the words he’d said to the other boy just that day and guilt and dread gathered in the pit of his stomach
He tried to shout to izuku,tellin him not to be stupid, to come down
His eyes began to fog up as each of his attempts failed and before he could think of anything else to do,anyone else to call
Deku jumped
Katsuki lunged forward in a last attempt to save his...friend
But before he could even move a muscle
Deku lay on the ground,bloodied and broken...
And katsuki fell to his knees and cried
Hed never cried
Not once and never in public
But
This was different
This was HIS fault
“DEKU WAKE UP! WAKE UP YOU FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT COME ON WAKE UPPPPP”
And when izuku didnt move
When he didnt make a sound
Katsuki gave up
Hed never given up NEVER
But
He just couldnt...
He lay his head on the broken boy’s chest and said his last words to him
“Im sorry...i-i need you deku”
And when still no answer came he died a little inside too.
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please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.
feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!
Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please
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neko-naruto · 2 years ago
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I still have one of them
Summary: Having fallen ill, there isn't much he can do for his team anymore, that won't stop him from taking a few hits to ensure those more important than him make it.
Warnings: Unidentified magically influenced disease, light gore, light dismemberment, body horror (?), bugs, gross stuff in general, check tags for further warnings.
Authors Note: The unstoppable urge to write undeniably gross stuff has been rotting my brain lately, so now this exists, but its offset by some bonding, probably not a fandom that reciprocates stuff like this often, but I hope at least one of you likes it because gore is one of my specialties, reblogs are always appreciated!
Warriors is ill.
No one is exactly sure what it is.
No one is sure they want to know what it is.
All that they do know is that it's destroying him.
Insomnia, lack of appetite, congestion, headaches, extreme appetite, aches, the list goes on. He still throws himself at every obstacle in his path, unable to let himself be weak even though he knows it'll push him further to death. He's glad he can't really fall asleep that often anymore, he fears he won't wake up again, he still insists on having his own tent (he says he'll be fine, everyone knows he isn't). He wakes up shivering, he falls asleep melting, his thermoregulation is gone, he likes the sun, he hates the shade, everyone notices.
It's only when his veins start to bulge and his skin starts to thin does he pay attention to the fact he is sickly and no one knows how to fix it, Hyrules to afraid of making it worse without an official diagnosis in place. He's worried, he's afraid of death now that it threatens to knock on his door seduce him into submitting to his fate, and it shows. He's been trying to regulate his eating, regulate his sleeping, regulate his temperature, and his teammates have been trying to help him out.
They all know he could drop like a fly any day now.
They're just waiting for it to happen.
They don't realize that they aren't ready until it happens.
---
Heaps of blankets keep Warriors tangled up, he can hear the fighting outside of his tent, he can see the silhouettes dancing across the tarp. He knows they don't want him to fight, he knows they want him to stay safe until they find a cure, he knows their might not be a cure. Instead of panicking, he relaxes, slowly removing blanket after blanket, he's shivering after all of them are removed, his balance leaves him high and dry when he stands.
His eyes are watery, they haven't stopped being watery for weeks now, he rubs them and keeps on trekking despite his vision being blurry. His muscles ache, it feels like their on the verge of atrophy and he doesn't really care as the warmth of whatevers burning outside gets closer. He pushes and pushes, his head is in agony, his thoughts are strewn everywhere and there's so much pressure in his skull he wants to scream.
He nearly does scream when he sees a silhouette he knows is a friend start to stumble and falter. His pace hastens instead as he stumbles ever so slightly, watching in horror as the shadows continue their elaborate dance. He pushes past the tarps and it looks like he's sobbing due to the sheer amount Aqueous humor blended with some form of mucus bleeding from his eyes. When tears start to mix as he stares at the fiery landscape it stings so much, and the pressure in his head is worse, everything is so bright.
Twilight is knocked down effortlessly, the enemy is raising a bloody claymore, fear.
With naught but a brief exclamation, Warriors was trying to throw himself into the way of the hit; he knows he's most likely doomed, why not protect someone important? He barely succeeds only managing to force Twilight out of the way just enough that he takes the hit instead, it cleaves his arm off with ease. He doesn't really feel it though, he can feel the air against the wound, he can feel the blood pouring from it, he can see his no longer attached arm writhing on the ground.
He feels woozy, Twilight tries to keep him awake, his eyes are open, he sees the haze of his friends fighting and keeping him safe even though hes a liability. He keeps on staring at his arm, staring as it writhes and jerks, watching as maggots spill forth from the torn flesh, bloody, writhing masses that dig into the ground. He must be delirious from blood loss, but he's sure that the blood in his arm is fucking pitch black and whats oozing from his shoulder was that same color before it faded to crimson.
Then he fell asleep, hearing his name be shouted as he was coasted through flames and corpses, strong arms holding him close; he curled into the touch.
Then he woke up in a tent, ears ringing, body aching, everything as before, except it was a lot less than before. He went to sit up, prop himself on an arm, only to remember he didn't have two of those anymore, only one. He glanced to the nub, his heart sunk a bit, but, at least it didn't hurt there anymore, for now at least, he had a few companions in the war who ended up with phantom limb pain. Before he knew it he was coddled with affection from someone he didn't instantly recognize, until the scent hit him, his scent receptors on the fritz.
The subtle and hearty scent of deadly nightshade, bergamot and somehow fresh rain told him it was Hyrule, the dampness on Warriors neck indicated that his teammate was tearing up. He brought his good arm to gently pull in Hyrule a little bit closer, being greeted with the grip on his tunic tightening exponentially. The two sat in silence for a while, near silence at least, aside from the quiet sound of stifled sobs, Warriors wished he was better at comfort right now.
"I'll-I'll go get Twilight," Hyrule said before standing up, leaving Warriors alone again, in the short pocket of time he realized his eyes had stopped oozing those fluids, then Twilight had him swarmed.
A small, touching moment was shared before Warriors shoulders were gripped and eye contact was forced.
"You asshole! You could've been killed out there!" Twilight barked at Warriors, shaking him gently, tears still welled in the wolfish Hylians sharp eyes, "I don't know what I would do if you were dead! None of us do, okay? So don't ever do that again," the angered tone petered off into one a lot more shaky, a lot more worried, he gripped Warriors tightly again, the smaller Hylian dug his fingers into the fur on his teammates tunic.
"I wasn't killed though, right?" Warriors said, his tone just a little bit insincere as he shrugged his shoulders, Twilight backed away from him, staring in disbelief at what had been said.
"Dude, you lost one of your fucking arms," Twilight said, pressing his hand to the stained gauze, it was still damp despite the fact Warriors had been out for a few days.
"And? I feel better now anyways, I don't feel sick anymore, a little lopsided, but that's to be expected I suppose," Warriors said, placing his hand on top of Twilights to slowly pull it away, trying to clasp it between two hands, but lacking half the equation, he just hoped Twilight got the gesture, "I'm not dying anymore, my skin is thick again, sure, I'm missing an arm, but sacrifices have to be made sometimes, don't they?"
"You're right," Twilight said before standing up, offering a hand that Warriors gladly took, having a hard time standing up without a second support, "ready to relearn sword fighting? Times been waiting for the last couple days to spar with you again."
"Relearn my life worth? Please, as if losing an arm could impede me that much," Warriors said, smirking as he followed Twilight to where Time was skillfully dominating both Sky and Legend simultaneously in the art of battle, deflecting and slicing, jabbing and strafing, he had skill he wasn't afraid to flaunt.
As they stepped closer, they could hear Times ridicule on stance and technique, watching as Sky and Legend changed their footing in the slightest only for improvement to be visceral. Their attacks still barely grazed Times armor, but they were getting better, slowly but surely, as they trained day in and day out. Sky fell first, hit by a kick to the back, he stumbled before crumbling, all of Times attention and some of his skill placed on Legend who struggled to keep up. It was amusing to watch the red tuniced hero try to land hits and not get trampled by the superior of the two fighters, his efforts were still thwarted in mere minutes.
The Time noticed that Warriors and Twilight were watching, he headed over to them as soon as he finished helping up Sky and Legend.
"Ready for sparring, or, covering the basics again?" Time said as he handed Warriors a different sword, it was a lot less like his own, a bit lighter, almost like a rapier, he held it gingerly, double edged and thin steel.
"Please, I'll win for sure," Warriors said boldly until Time gave the symbol he lunged, strafing as he did so, going for slashes but losing his balance and ability to focus on Time due to lack of finesse with his arm gone; Time simply kicked out his ankles with a low kick, Warriors came tumbling down.
"So, care to relearn your stances?" Time asked as he helped up Warriors who used the blade as a support on its own, he shook his head, a stubborn bastard he could surely be at times.
"No, just give me a minute to get my balance, then I'll kick your ass into the sun," Warriors said boldly as he tried to get a feel for how swinging a weapon would affect his balance now, he gave a few testing strides and lunges to be safe, "okay, let's do this."
Twilight sat and watched as Warriors and Time sparred throughout the day, even at the end of the day, Warriors still had a hard time getting a handle on his new balance. He was getting better, falling less and less, grazing more and more hits, the improvement was there, but he wasn't near his past level.
Warriors was still deadset on becoming even better than before
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trekkiepirate · 2 years ago
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I posted 317 times in 2022
49 posts created (15%)
268 posts reblogged (85%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@soundsfaebutokay
@wren-of-the-woods
@ruffboijuliaburnsides
@intheseautumnhands
@a-kind-of-merry-war
I tagged 262 of my posts in 2022
Only 17% of my posts had no tags
#joey batey - 67 posts
#the witcher - 45 posts
#jaskier - 26 posts
#the amazing devil - 23 posts
#yennefer - 17 posts
#madeleine hyland - 14 posts
#billy the kid - 11 posts
#other people's damn fine art - 7 posts
#adorable abby - 7 posts
#anya chalotra - 7 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#and i also just assume neil gaiman summoned dream and very politely and with due deference asked him if he wanted to play himself in a show
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Okay but this time next week I will be IN LONDON!!!
I have been wanting to go to England and London literally all my life. I do not remember when I first wanted to go because I always have. And I am FINALLY GOING!
20 notes - Posted May 25, 2022
#4
BETH. Beth Beth Beth. Joey Batey's soft, sad face and his soft, gentle voice will be my undoing. I am trying to watch Billy the Kid but I keep stopping to poke around at other things because he makes me wanna scream and it's midnight and I would wake the whole neighborhood. It's been an hour, Beth, and I'm only halfway through. Why am I like this. WHY IS *HE* LIKE THIS. I blame him for everything.
Oh my dearling, I am here for when you get to the end of the episode because if you are emotionally compromised NOW just wait until he's wrapped in a blankie and talking to his son about stars and crying I HAVE NOT RECOVERED YET and I watched it like a month ago!
20 notes - Posted April 28, 2022
#3
🪄!
A LYRIC I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT
Surprising no one, it's The Amazing Devil, SPECIFICALLY
Though some would harm you/ none not one no none/ would raise to you/a hand nor thumb/ not while by you/ I stand and hum
First of all, how dare Joey Batey. Second of all, the way the words flow just hits all the happiest places in my brain for sound. Thirdly, the context is just so damn sweet.
23 notes - Posted November 7, 2022
#2
Bethhhhhhh you were right you were right in your predictions. Joey is Billy the Kid's dad. Have you seen this trailer yet? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cw8v1CP9W0
I KNEW IT I BLOODY KNEW IT I SHALL CROW FOR THE REST OF TIME! (and bless you darling, I hadn’t seen it yet)
Also yep, hence the beard and also EXCUSE ME SIR IRISH ACCENT and I mean, I know his dad dies (and Joey’s only in the first episode) but also HOW DARE THEY KILL OFF MY BEST BELOVED JAIL JAIL FOR THE WILD WEST FOR 1000 YEARS
26 notes - Posted February 3, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Heath Ledger was fine too.
On his multimillion dollar set with all the cast and crew around him.
Good to know that the world hasn't changed. People still think showing concern for mens' mental health and wellbeing is "infantilizing".
Thanks for showing how little the fandom cares beyond making Jaskier fuck Geralt.
I wasn't going to answer because your tone is very dismissive and very rude, truly I wasn't. But you hit a sore spot.
I AM concerned for Joey's mental health, broadly. He has admitted to (and wrote even a song about) being socially Anxious and I think he may also deal with Depression. So I am worried for him because I know how those conditions can badly affect people, particularly men who are seen as lesser for having and admitting to mental illness(es). If I even vaguely SUSPECTED he was hurt or mistreated on set I'd be at the forefront of the Anger Riot, believe me. But I do not know him personally, so I cannot speak to how things affect him on a day to day level. And Nonny, neither can you. We are fans. We are not his friends or his caretakers. We are outsiders to his life and should take HIS word for how he is treated.
But I also believe Joey was NOT mistreated nor was his mental health irrevocably damaged from filming this scene. Was he shaken because being tied up is strenuous and playing someone being tortured is a mental mind fuck? Yes, of course, he admits that. But he is an amazing actor and yes, it can take time to return from the dark places one's mind can go, especially for a scene like that. But he came back. He came back and moved on and did his next scenes and finished filming and moved on to further projects and is probably preparing for season 3 as we speak. And moreover, he's DONE IT BEFORE. Yes, he's new to a recurring role on large scale shows like The Witcher but Joey has been working at a decent clip since before he left Cambridge, both on stage and screen.
He has a torture scene in Wolf Hall/Bring Up The Bodies, the play he did right out of drama school (and where the gods saw fit to introduce him to Madeleine Hyland and thus brighten not only their own lives but all ours). I have heard it, he SCREAMS. He cries, he sounds very very NOT OKAY. But y'know what? He was. Joey has done death scenes and stunts and has played characters in very dark mental places. So doing a physically and mentally and emotionally demanding scene is not new to him. And he did it on a set full of people that Joey specifically mentions multiple times in multiple interviews as being supportive of him, looking after him. He mentioned having panic/anxiety attacks (I believe anxiety but cannot recall exactly which rn) and that his friends and colleagues on The Witcher were incredibly supportive and kind to him. I place his own words about his experience as closer to the truth of the matter than people who are misconstruing what sounds like a scary situation to them, out of context. That's why I made the post, to give context to how these sorts of things usually go.
Are there still sets where an experience like this was probably the worst of an actor’s life? Yes, of course, we know this. But it is not the majority and I cannot believe that was the case here.
I cannot speak to Heath Ledger's experience, I wasn't engaged enough to read all his interviews the way I do Joey's. Though I was shocked and utterly heartbroken when he died. As I was with Robin Williams. As I was when I learned how River Phoenix and Jonathan Brandis died, after the fact. I think caring about men's mental health is GREAT and necessary and bloody important and that more people SHOULD care. But I think creating issues where there were none is not the way to go about it.
Lastly, honestly at this point I'm more on the Yennskier train. I can separate what I WANT from what the show GIVES because that's the point of fandom and fic. Going "Okay but WHAT IF these characters DID kiss?" But this isn't about shipping. It's not about pitting characters or ships or actors or people against each other. This is about how people are overly worrying about Joey's mental health and not Anya's. Or Freya's even. Both had dark mental places to go this season (and last season), both had physically taxing scenes. Anya was also restrained in a torture scene this season, but no one drew a comparison even though it is easy to make. No one asked if she was okay. No one worried she was mistreated they way some folks have claimed Joey was.
I think it boils down to some people want to hate the show and the people who make it, but not hate Joey. So if they can say Joey was mistreated (and I truly, TRULY believe he was not) on set or by the show then they can justify being a fan of his while hating on a show he SPECIFICALLY calls the best job he's ever had. Where he mentions again and again that he was supported by everyone: cast, crew and creatives.
So, I do think it is infantilizing to dismiss His Own Words because they don't fit the idea some folks have formed of who he is or how he is treated on set. I would highly recommend reading this interview: https://boysbygirls.co.uk/conversations/joey-batey (done AFTER FILMING) as it is a very in-depth and revealing one about who Joey really is and how he operates in the world and how he finds his equilibrium when it's thrown off, whether by work or life in general. He has a good support system, Madeleine of course and he mentions his sisters. He has good coping mechanisms, creating music and writing and building furniture apparently that was a new one. :) I think he has one of the healthiest perspectives on life I have ever heard and I think it has taken him years and support and work to get there for himself. And I am very glad he seems to be doing so well in his life. Because I want him to be happy and healthy.
Joey was and is fine. Your concern about him is good! Caring about him is good! Your misplaced anger is not good.
61 notes - Posted January 21, 2022
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vostok3-ka · 2 months ago
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heyo friend! this is my official request to learn more info and/or backstory on Snowy Plain, White Moon, if you feel inclined to share :)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEY HEY FRIEND! You've asked this just as I updated the fic oh my goodness!!! Thank you so much for the ask, I'm so excited to ramble on about it because I love it so much, it's so gentle to me, and yet still somewhat uncanny.
Got the inspiration for it from a movie called Compartment No. 6 (an absolutely beautiful Russian-Finnish film that won multiple awards and yet I feel like it's very underrated!) I was like yo what if I put Bucky on a train and set the fic entirely around the train (the train is a character in the tags lmao), and I was also feeling very frustrated (I'd just watched The White Sound with Daniel Bruhl which is so heartbreaking and warm and kind all at the same time, would recommend even though it is a student film) about the lack of schizophrenia portrayal that doesn't make the schizophrenic out to be a nutcase, or a psychopath, or a tragic story and I just HAD to write in schizophrenia as an every-day way, as well as I wanted to subtly delve into Bucky's past with hints here and there as to what his time with the Soviets were like.
I also wanted to write a fic that kind of showcased Bucky's struggle with social skills, seeing as he literally had them all scooped out, scrambled and shoved back into him multiple times, and I wanted to focus more on the dissociation that he is bound to have, what with him losing time, losing awareness- feeling hazy. He feels like he is moving through a dream, he feels not quite reel, as if he is split in half, as if the winter soldier was somebody else and it had never happened to him, except he knows it happened to him because he wakes up with the taste of blood in his mouth and the smell of burning buildings choking him. He wakes up with flashes of his victims screaming, his victims dying in silent gurgles as they breathe in blood, the sounds of gunshots echoing through his mind. So they MUST have happened to him. He has nerve damage from all the electroshock therapy dialed up to a thousand he had to endure, it IS real, and yet doesn't feel real
I also am a sucker for the uncanny, it's the SCP fan in me, I think, so I had to add in a creepy element, and yet Bucky's so disconnected from everything that he finds it scary in the moment, but the fear fizzles out, because he doesn't feel alive. So I kind of wrote him as not really being able to care beyond terrifying flashes of clarity. He's a walking mess that boy.
I will also admit I have no idea what I'm doing with every single word as I write this fic, I don't have it plotted out, I just have a general goal and a rough idea in my head lmao, but I'm enjoying writing in all the aspects of Bucky I really want to see myself but cannot find in other fics, as well as I am enjoying myself making it subtly funny in a strained sort of way, like things are hysterical only because they're not quite right!
Alexei is a fun one to write. He's young, still in university, has a regular part-time job at a regular place, and yet he's ill. He's schizophrenic, he's been to psychiatric hospitals, and yet he has a life. He isn't a psychopath, isn't prone to violence, is somewhat aware of his condition, and is as silly and stupid as anybody in their early 20s (this includes me. i am 20. i am thoroughly stupid in many areas 😂) He however has a background with Bucky, one that I'm yet to reveal, and I think it makes him more aware, sharper, he KNOWS what Bucky is like, and he feels comfortable with him. The fact as to why they are on the same train I still haven't completely written out but I have the plot point down and it's borderline silly, serious and unreal, like I have tried to make everything in this fic feel like!
Panarin, the soldier, I wrote as being a regular soldier, climbing the ranks regularly, as any other soldier would do in the military, and he is somehow the image of Bucky in a different universe. Bucky could have been him. Could have lived a regular life as well as being a soldier during WWII. They're like broken mirrors. Panarin is a soldier. Bucky was The Soldier. It's different, and yet they come from the same essence. It's an interesting dynamic to write, and I think once Panarin figures out who Bucky is he's going to have the shock of his life.
Bucky also feels guilt for his time during the USSR, but at the same time he is so proud, he's so damn proud, he was the pride and heart of the nation at one point in time, before Hydra got their grubby hands on him even while the USSR was still around, and he feels so ill at the thought of this. He isn't supposed to be proud, proud of the rank he got in the USSR military but was never acknowledged in the States. Somewhere inside of him, he's feels affection for the communist cause and he hates this, he hates it so much it drives him insane so he tries not to think about it.
But yeah! I honestly lost the motivation to write for this fic for a while, but I got some real sweet comments that just kickstarted it all back up and I'm buzzing with excitement to get back onto wrapping it all up!!! Cannot wait to share more of it with you ;)
Thank you so much for the ask, I honestly coulda talked more about it, but the answer was getting way too long LMAO. Hope your day is absolutely lovely!!! :)) <3<3<3
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