#ill see how next week goes but!!!!!!
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#okay ive cleared out quite a few old posts from my queue#and im feeling. marginally better than i was about an hour ago#still not feeling great and im beyond mentally exhausted but at least im not feeling worse#i think i really just need to sleep#and honestly i think i also really miss writing#i have so many ideas for fics i want to write and continue and i just havent had time to do much of anything on my computer#ill see how next week goes but!!!!!!#ily all and ty for the sweet messages#(also ryan if you see this i miss you SO much and mwah im kissing you good night)#everyone pls keep your fingers crossed that it stays sunny tomorrow bc my mental wellbeing depends on getting out of this#DAMN hotel room#anyway good night everyone kissies to u ♥️🫰#personal
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vriska + a transmasc dave doodle
#tryna get into colored pencils again we'll see how it goes#its been a while since ive done a good tag ramble#but like i dont hv anything to ramble about#my art#traditional art#doodles#fanart#homestuck#homestuck fanart#dave strider#dave strider fanart#vriska serket#vriska fanart#oh actually i do hv smth to ramble about today#that being scheduled posts#yknow scheduled posts are actually really convinient and helped me quite a bit#like i used them for a couple months and honestly really liked useing them cuz it allowed me to hv a pretty consistent posting schedule#but in the end i just didnt feel right with it mostly due to the fact that even with it set to post three times a week it felt weird to hav#some of my drawings posting weeks after i finished them. like they were old news to me already but they were barely being released to every#one else it just felt weird for me ig. not to mention that like on the rare occassions that i didnt have anything to post i felt obliged to#draw smth just so i would have smth to post and most of the time that led to me being unhappy with my art. so now ive just decided like fuc#it imma post whenever i want and honestly im really happy with that even if i might be going a little trigger happy with the posting button#recently lmao. ive just been drawing a whole lot and hv so much to post its insane. hell i still hv things in my gallery that i needa post#but ill save those for the next couple of days lol but yeah thanks for coming to my very long ted talk/ramble and goodnight 😴#damn im such a yapster what the hell
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I slept rly deeply last night even tho it took me a while to get to sleep but I think that was bc I had acid reflux and I'd been playing videogames too late not anything else.... still only got 6 hrs but doing pretty okay all things considered 😚
#and not feeling sick this morning so im sticking w the higher dose for one more day. my heart rate does feel a little uncomfortably fast#but its tolerable. just gonna make notes of how it goes through the day and ill submit my review form to my dr this evening#and hopefully she'll give me the green light to drop back down instead of continuing to titrate up#this is making me think of those heartrate fetishists... do u think i could make money selling tachycardic heart recordings online#i do wanna try to exercise this morning while i have energy. might take the bike out it looks like a gorgeously sunny day#maybe ill try to map my cycle route to work so i can consider cycling there instead of taking the bus in a couple weeks..#i cant atm thp cuz they have scaffolding up and its blocked off the bike racks sadly 😔#i think making myself eat + drink as much as i can has helped control the nausea too. just need a lot of fuel to process meds properly ig#and a lot of sleep.. its a bit stressful to think abt how rigid im going to have to be abt my daily routines if i want to stay medicated#but to be honest i have a pretty rock solid sleep/meal routine already bc its the only way i can function with the hours i work#so like. i dont rly need to worry too much. i think i reacted badly the first couple days bc my base anxiety was high#and then bc that feeling was heightened by meds -> made me not eat/sleep properly -> knock on sickness the next day#but yeah still the side effects arent very nice and i dont wanna take the risk of it exacerbating every difficult emotion i deal with#but fingers crossed bc 30 worked rly nice for me and i had barely any side effects so hopefully i can settle w that long term 🤞#we will see....#ANYWAY. sorry for making the same post over and over the last couple days. talking abt it on here has helped me feel a lot calmer#i dont wanna bother ppl irl w every thought and physical symptom i experience hourly. but this is my blog i can do what i want#hope everyone else has a nice sunday <3#.diaries
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fully packed for tomorrow heading back. gotta get groceries them n then im not back here until my bday/spring break
#n then im not back until the summer but its like#a month n a half both times lol#nervous as usual rn#grabbed a bunch of my rnm stuff thinking how i should order a poster for my apartment maybe idk#also nervous bc tmi idk yet if im gonna be able to do next year/renew my lease so im uh. haha. ill figure it out#av.txt#im gonna try doing keto or like. dirty keto too n see how that goes#gonna restart my weights this week too i think
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BEFORE I FORGET I am genuinely thrilled your wrist is doing better (though of course I hope you don't have to deal with the cysts for A Whole Year) and that you're able to stream again! I say it All The Time but it's still one of the highlights of my week and I really missed it. Change of location is gonna be wild starting next week but not so much for us I guess lol
id rather be able to move my fingers and Sort Of Generally Use My Hand Again while having cysts for Hopefully At Most A Year than for em to be in pain 24/7 while not able to do anythin, so needless to say im content with the trade off ♪(´▽`)
i missed streamin SOOO much even if i generally do fuck all durin em- or Because Of That- im glad i get to chat with everyone: the best part of streamin is just bein able to connect with yall better (❁´◡`❁)
#snap chats#when i move into school i will probably be quieter and like. less vulgar for my roomate/s' sakes LMAO BUT HEY#also im gonna tryyyy to speedrun y3 next week: this week im gonna see how it does on my cpu while i stream#so if it goes well then Yeehaw#unless im assaulted with Images then ill just have to force everyone to watch me attempt to draw for two hours again#IN ANY CASE. GREAT to be back i feel like a person again LMAOOO#and as people do i oughta sleep so BYE
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🦐...
#making another bullshit post because i dont have anyone to talk to and talking in the tags is comforting as fuck for some reason#so here we go. hi gang dave here how are we doing tonight#sparkle off its thurday forget who you are yk how it goes#im so tired man ive had such a long week its been good but so fucking long you know like holy shit stuff just all the time#had a choir performance which was pretty badass#ive gotten further in rereading homestuck just watched me and my bro hug it out which was great#stridercest nation rise up#went to the dentist showed him my sick ass wisdom tooth necklace and he loved it and he took a billion pictures#gonna go to a new therapy support group thing try it out see how it goes maybe ill like it maybe i wont#these are just kind of life updates cause idk its weird to have shit happen and then just never talk about it to anyone really#been drawing a lot lately its nothing super cool but im having fun with it#i watched trolls 3 again tonight what a fucking fantastic movie cinema is alive and well#branch reminds me of karkat so much and its hilarious like thats just the same guy#i tried making hummus tonight but fucked it up it was too sour but no big ill try again another time#idk i think thats all ive got to say. thanks for tuning in see you next time
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#ok lets not jinx this bc i still have to walk home in the middle of the night but today was a good day i think#or at least better than ive had in a while which is weird bc i woke up and my internet was fucked#so i had to spend basically all day in the lab and thwts why im still here at 8pm lol#but yea i had to clean my apartment on a surface level bc a internet repair person has to come by tomorrow#but yea idk why but i was just kinda in a good mood. tho i did agree to start taking measurements next week#the same measurements that r gonna drive me into the ground and burned me out in the 1st place#my boss was like: how do u feel abt starting next week and i was like: cool cool cool sounds like a plan 😎#well see how bad a choice that was i guess#but also i finished another application so i just have 1 left to work on and i feel like i have a path forward on at least one#manuscript and its the one i find most interesting so yea well see how it goes. it is very annoying that my internet is out tho lol#now if only i could make this ability to do things last in a way that isnt unmanageable 🤔#somehow convince myself to actually start things instead of being paralyzed#but whatever ill take wins where i can#unrelated
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It's 3am in London so my thoughts are a little messy but seeing the watch count of thr last trailer (and the spend it grew), AMC market and syndication team will putting their all into it and the way the press has pick up on it, I feel season two of iwtv season two might be really big. Like game of thrones or breaking bad big.
I think at halloween every party will have at least a few of the vamps. People who haven't seen the show, movie or book will get refences to it. New stars in the night sky that is Hollywood.
Like I know season one and all the media before hand was successful but there was always the feeling of it being a cult classic. Definitely in my circle (gays and goth so the target market) most aren't really aware of it.
#ill make this more understandablw after sleep#also i dont watch much tv so maybe i dont understand how popularity works#i thought no one saw ripley last week turn out they didnt.#were see how it goes next month#and i hope im right
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I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"
But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.
Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!
I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.
Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.
Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)
And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.
You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.
So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?
My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.
(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)
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Can my wrist just heal!!! I miss weightlifting!!!! And my wrist hurts ALL THE TIME
So yeah you know how a fall on your wrist (or having your wrist bent backwards when having an impact injury) is like, the cause of all bad wrist injuries but generally they go "oh ye that's a fracture" or "oh ye that's a bad sprain"
Well how about tearing a fucking ligament? A tfcc tear? It's a lil legit triangle of ligaments and cartilage in your wrist that helps stabilise the ulnar side of your wrist. I now can't hold plates. I can't rotate my wrist so my palm is facing upwards. Its a struggle to turn door handles, hold my phone, or hold anything that needs the support of my little finger and the outer side of my palm. And it is THOROUGHLY DUMB AND I DON'T LIKE IT
#im already 3+ weeks into recovery and theres been no improvement#these tears apparently take 4-8 weeks to heal if its not a bad one#im looking at 3+ months if its bad but doesnt need surgery to fix#i need to get an mri tho bc if its a complete tear that requires surgery and ill have my wrist in a brace or cast for 6wks#this is such a dumb fucking injury#how did u do it jo you ask? WELL#I WAS HOLDING THE DOOR HANDLE TRYING TO STOP IT FROM SLAMMING IN THE WIND#but get this THE WIND CAUGHT THE DOOR#so it SLAMMED while i was holding the handle and pushed my wrist back#and i was like haha ow that hurt#cue me unable to hold a plate at work the next day like haha uh this actually really hurts#pain was so bad and in a specific spot ee thought it was a fracture#it was in fact Not A Fracture#sees my physio for something else and goes oh i hurt my wrist#he stops midappointment and gets me to do like six tests to do with my wrist#oh yeah thats definitely a tfcc injury#if it doesnt feel any better in two weeks its likely a tear#me: oh oh yeah alright okay
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Little dragon - Aegon Targaryen x Niece Valeryon(Targaryen)!Reader
Warning : typical inscet Targaryen, Aegon being soft(?), angst, mention of blood, labor.
Two years after the marriage between Rhaenyra and Leanor and also after repeated failures in trying to get pregnant, Rhaenyra today gave birth to her first daughter. You were born healthy, have Targaryen beauty with a silver hair on your head.
You were fast asleep in your mother's arms who was smiling at you, then the door of her chambers opened to reveal Leanor entering in a hurry “I heard it, a girl. oh this is great news”
Leanor comes closer and strokes your cheek gently, you open your eyes and look at him. "She has your eyes, she is very beautiful" Leanor smiles at Rhaenyra and he nodded his head.
Soon enough news of your birth reached King and Queen ears. The two of them immediately went to your mother's chambers to see how you two were doing.
“oh my daughter, I am proud of you. I hope the birth goes smoothly." Viserys approached his daughter and gave her a warm hug which Rhaenyra immediately returned.
"She was born without any fuss father" Rhaenyra smiled and looked at Alicent who was holding her daughter.
"She’s so beautiful, what a lovely babe you have bought to this world my love."
Rhaenyra laughed softly at her father's demands, she held her father's hand tightly. “she has her father eyes” Alicent spoke quietly while looking at you carefully.
“indeed your grace, she's the perfect mix of me and Rhaenyra” The king smiled hearing Leanor say that
"Have you given her a name?" Rhaenyra looked at her stepmother and nodded, she had thought of a suitable name for you long before you were born.
"Her name is, y/n" Viserys smiled and gently stroked his daughter's arm. "That's a beautiful name for a beautiful princess"
“y/n, I'm sure you will grow up to be a very beautiful princess in the future.”
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. You're now already ten and fifteen name days old, what Alicent said is true. You grew up to be a beautiful princess and was highly respected at court, You are a very innocent , shy and cheerful girl.
Two years after your birth, your mother gave birth to your younger brother, Jacaerys. A few years later your mother again gave birth to a son, Lucerys and now, a few days before your name day celebration. Your mother gave birth to a son again who was named Joffrey.
You are very happy knowing you have many siblings, but the physical differences between you and your other siblings make you not very uncomfortable with all the whispers that speak ill of your mother and siblings.
"Father, I want you to crown Aegon as the next heir to the throne."
Everyone at the council table fell silent and looked at Rhaenyra in surprise, including Otto and Alicent. Viserys choked on his wine, he looked at his daughter in disbelief. Rhaenyra took a deep breath before she looked at her father's face.
"I realize that the realm will not agree if a queen sits on the iron throne"
She knew very well that if one day she ascended the throne, many would oppose her and there would be war. because the situation had changed when Aegon was born, the son the king had longed for.
"However, before that I want to give you one condition."
Otto and Alicent looked at Rhaenyra carefully, feeling happy and anxious at the same time. Viserys was just silent and listened to every word his daughter said.
"I attended to marry my daughter, my heir. y/n to Aegon, let them rule the kingdom together”
While on the other side in the keep, you are reading your book in the garden, sometimes you just want to be alone and away from the hustle and bustle of the court. While you are enjoying the book you are reading, your attention is distracted by someone standing in front of you.
"Princess, I'm sorry to interrupt your time. but the King and Queen is waiting for your presence in council chamber." you turned your gaze and looked at Ser Criston Cole. you smiled and nodded slowly “thank you Ser Criston”
You stood up and straightened your dress a little, you walked confidently towards the council chamber. You smile and greet everyone you meet in the hallway.
When you walk in, you can see the presence of your mother, the Kinb, Queen and also the king's hand. You bowed your body slightly before finally walking closer to your mother.
"I’m sorry for the disturbance, princess. but there is something important we have to discuss with you, please have a seat” you looked at Alicent and nodded slowly.
“Oh not at all your Grace, you don't disturb my time at all.”
“Your mother just spoke about something” You listened carefully and nodded slowly, you could see your mother was very nervous but she still smiled in front of you.
Your grandsire sigh before he speak “She wants Aegon to be the next heir to the throne” this is when you looked at your mother in surprise, you didn't understand what she was thinking. Alicent, who realized how surprised you were, cleared her throat softly and continued her husband's words. "We were just as surprised as you, princess."
“you’re the princess of the realm and you have duties to full field. you have to marry and bring an heir of yourself, i attend to marry you with Aegon” As the king continues speaking you’re silent for a moment, the decision you must accept for the peace of the realm or maybe the peace for this family.
“my love? what do you think about this?” Your mother's voice brought you out of your thoughts, you looked at everyone carefully before you finally gave your answer
“I can't possibly refuse this grandsire, if this is the best decision then I accept it” you smiled.
Hearing this made Viserys smile, he then looked at his wife and daughter. “then it’s settled then, you will be married to Aegon in several months”
After the conversation in the council chambers, you and your mother are now in her chambers. You looked at your mother in astonishment, “What are you thinking? What does all this mean? I have no problem marrying Aegon. but why do you ask to change the order of the throne?”
you can see your mother sigh and massage her temples slowly, she looks at you and you can see the worry and tiredness on her face . "I just want to prevent war, my dear, if later when I ascend the throne, the entire realm will definitely not accept it well. no queen has ever sit the iron throne before”
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, you heard your mother's bedroom door being forced open and revealed your father, Leanor, who looked in a hurry. “What the fuck did I just hear? is it true that you asked Aegon to be heir to the throne?”
You looked at your father in shock, it seemed like your father didn't realize you were there. your mother looked at your father and then looked at you, “dove, I will talk to your father. You can go back to your quarters."
Your father, who just realized your presence, flinched, he smiled awkwardly. "My love, sorry I didn't see you. I'll see you after this." You just nodded and walked out of your mother's chambers , you decided to go back to the garden.
You just nodded and walked out of your mother's room, you decided to go back to the garden. Now in the same place you go back to reading your book, to divert the thoughts that are running around in your head.
“well hello beautiful, what are you doing here?”
You looked away from the book and saw Aegon standing in front of you with his signature smile, you smiled and then closed your book.
“Uncle, I was just reading my book” you smiled then shifted a little so he could sit next to you.
“Sorry dove, I can't bring you flowers today” you could hear the disappointment in his voice and you laughed softly.
"It's okay, just having you here makes me happy"
Aegon lay his head on your lap, you smiled and continued your reading. "Do you know? "This book, it really disturbs my view right now" Aegon took the book in your hand and put it aside, you laughed softly and looked at his face.
"Hey, I'm telling the truth, I'm looking at the most beautiful woman's but the book is blocking my view."
You smiled and gently ruffled his hair, Aegon just laughed softly when he saw you were embarrassed. he likes to see you blush and also laugh out loud when you're around him.
"I was very happy when I found out I would marry you"
You looked at him in shock, you didn't expect that he already knew about it. "I heard the conversation with my grandfather when I was called to his room, are you happy with this dove?"
You shook your head slowly, “of course i’m happy Aegon.” You gently combed his hair and said "I can't think of a more suitable husband for me."
The great sept was decorated with a symphony of colors and opulence greeted the eyes of all who entered. Flowers of every hue adorned the edges, their fragrance mingling with the air.
As you made your way down the aisle, the guests turned their heads, their eyes widening in awe. The radiant bride, accompanied by your father, glided with grace and elegance. you look breathtaking, with white gown that hug your curve perfectly, and your neat braided hair.
At the end of the aisle stood Aegon, the new heir to the throne and your betrothed. His presence was strong and radiating, his eye locked on you with unwavering adoration. You can see his smiles reflected a shared joy, celebrating the union that was about to take place.
On your side of the aisle, your mother, Rhaenyra stood as your pillar of support. Clutching the bouquet of white roses, her eyes glistened with tears of happiness. you two shared a glance, their bond unbreakable, a silent reassurance of love.
The septon, adorned in his ceremonial robes, stood before the altar, ready to officiate the union. The guests held their breath, their eyes fixed on the couple before them, as the sacred vows of love and loyalty would be exchanged.
As you took your place beside Aegon at the altar, "You may now cloak the bride and bring her under your protection." the septon's voice voice resonated through the sept, his words carrying the weight of tradition and sacredness.
Aegon then removes your 'Maidens cloak' bearing the sigil of your birth house, Velaryon and replaced it by cloak' of Targaryen house signifying that Aegon taking over the protection of you.
"We stand here in the sight of gods and men to witness the union of man and wife: one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever.” The septon's powerful proclamation reverberated through the grand sept, reaching the ears of all the guest. As the septon continued with his sermon.
The septon's voice carried the weight of tradition and solemnity as he guided you and Aegon through the final steps of their union. With gentle yet purposeful movements, he began to tie their hands together with a ribbon, symbolizing the binding of their souls as one for eternity.
"In the sight of the Seven," the septon declared, his words resonating through the hallowed space of the grand sept, "I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity." The ribbon encircled their joined hands.
Turning towards each other, your eyes locked once again, you and Aegon spoke in unison, your voices blending harmoniously as they uttered the sacred words. The presence of the gods seemed to permeate the air, lending an air of sanctity to the moment.
"Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger..." their voices carried the weight of conviction and devotion.
"I am hers and she is mine. From this day, until the end of my days," Aegon vowed, his voice filled with unwavering commitment.
"I am his and he is mine. From this day, until the end of my days," you echoed. Their voices intertwined, their souls merging in that sacred space.
Aegon’s eye shimmering with unwavering love, gently cradled your face in his hands. His touch was tender, filled with a reverence befitting the solemnity of the moment.
With a soft, lingering touch, Aegon's lips met yours, your first kiss as husband and wife. And their first kiss ever. It was a gentle meeting of souls. In that intimate embrace, time seemed to stand still, the world fading away, leaving only the warmth of their connection.
The guests watched in awe and reverence as the couple sealed their vows with this symbolic gesture. The room was filled with a palpable energy, a collective recognition of the sacredness of the union unfolding before them.
As their lips parted, Aegon whispered, "With this kiss, I pledge my love to you, y/n Targaryen." His words echoed through the hall.
your eyes sparkled with joy as you met Aegon gaze. your voice whispered, "And with this kiss, I pledge my love to you, Aegon Targaryen.”
The septon, catching the low exchange, cleared his throat and raised his voice even louder, ensuring that all present heard his proclamation. "Let it be known that Aegon Targaryen of House Targaryen and y/n Velaryon of House Velaryon are one heart, one flesh, one soul. Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder.” The room erupted into thunderous applause and cheers, the joyous sound echoing throughout the grand hall of the Great Sept.
You couldn't believe that it had been almost a year since you and Aegon had been married, and in a matter of days the two of you would be holding your first child.
love what are you doing? you should been resting in our chambers” You turned your head and saw your husband walking over with Aemond beside him. You smiled and tried to stand up from your chair but Aegon quickly held you back.
“just please stay seated, i know this pregnancy had make you suffer” you smile and kiss his lips that makes Aemond groan. “she’s here at the request of both of us, Aegon” Alicent's voice made the three of you turn around, you saw the queen walking along with your mom, Rhaenyra. Their relationship only got better after the day you and Aegon got married, and honestly that made you happy.
They want to discuss several important matters with the kingdom. Since your grandsire health became increasingly worse, Aegon began to learn to manage the kingdom, of course accompanied by the queen and your mother.
“but mother, will y/n be okay? we don't know when the babe will be born” you could hear the worry and worry in his voice, you smiled and took his hand giving his hand reassuring squeeze. "I'll be fine, especially if the babe is born today. everyone is ready”
The meeting went smoothly, Aemond informed that the security of Kings Landing had improved with the addition of Gold Cloak troops in the city. Rhaenyra also said that the war taking place in the narrow sea was under control, you listen to everything that is said. Aegon of course also sometimes gives advice.
You felt pain in your stomach which made you shift uncomfortably in your chair, no one noticed it apart from your husband. Aegon looked at you worriedly and stroked your hand from under the table, “I'm fine, just a little tired” you said quietly with a smile.
Aegon nodded and focused himself again on the meetings, but he knew that something was wrong with you. you tried your best to hold back the pain which was getting worse, you whimpered softly making everyone look at you worriedly. "My love? What’s wrong?" you can hear your mother's voice. you couldn't answer and could only whimper softly, you could feel something running down your leg and you knew very well that something was wrong now.
“Is it the babe? shit, Aemond, call the Maester and the midwives to my chambers now!" Aegon shouted at Aemond and immediately carried you towards your chambers. you groaned and hugged your husband's neck tightly, ‘what happened?’ You are very scared now, You are afraid that something will happen to the babe, many women in your family have died or their babies have not survived the birthing process.
Aegon laid you down on the bed and looked towards the door, “where are the fucking midwives! hurry fucking up!” he screamed like crazy, he didn't want anything to happen to his babe, something to happen to you.
Your mother and also Alicent tried to help you to stay calm, they wiped the sweat that appeared on your forehead, give words of encouragement and also hold your hand. Your breathing are becoming hard and your vision starts to blur because of the pain and tears that accumulate on your eyelids.
“it hurts mothers, this hurts so much” you cried softly as you squeezed both of their hands, Aegon looked back at you and immediately knelt beside your bed. “Dove, look at me.” You looked at him, his gaze radiating worry and fear.
“I'm here, I'll be by your side. please hang in there” he whispered and kissed your forehead.
Not long after you are now surrounded by many midwives and also the Maester. Scream after scream could be heard clearly throughout the Red Keep making everyone who heard it shudder in horror, they knew that their princess was fighting between life and death to give birth to her first child with the prince.
"If you feel any contractions, I want you to start to push, princess.”
The voice of the midwife was faint, you gripped Aegon’s forearm until your nails turned white. Aegon kept his word to be by your side, he ignored your mother and Alicent's words. said that the birthing room was not he right to attend. Another scream was heard indicating that another contraction hit your body, with all the strength, you began to push.
"I feel the head! a few more pushes and he'll be here."
you pushed with all your might and after a few moments you threw your head back on the pillow and took a deep breath, you could heard a very loud cry which made your heart feel relieved. You looked at the midwife who was smiling broadly while holding a red bundle in her hands.
"congratulations princess, you have a son. a healthy one, he’s kicking like a goat"
you smiled weakly and with the remaining strength you had you reached out your hand to take your son, you looked at your son face with a small smile adorning your tired and sweaty face. you could feel Aegon kiss your forehead, “you did it, you gave birth to our child.”
You smiled at your husband and slowly gave your son into his arms. You smiled seeing him cradling your son. after a moment you closed your eyes as you felt the pain wash over your body once again, a small groan escaped your lips which made Aegon look at you worriedly.
"What is this? Is this the afterbirth?” you, with panicked eyes looked at the midwife. The midwife then looked under the blanket, in a worried tone she directed the other midwife to get ready.
"my apologize princess, but it looks like you are pregnant with twins. for that I hope if possible you should come to push as you felt another contraction”
you looked Aegon in shocked and prepared again to give birth to your second babe. With the remaining strength you had, you started to push ad you feel another painful contraction. You twitched in pain and that makes Aegon worried. “it’s hurt! i can’t do this please make it stop”
You cried which made Aegon walk towards the Maester “what happened? why is she in pain?!” Maester came closer and felt your stomach to check what was wrong with the babe, you saw his face change and became afraid.
“I'm sorry prince, but I think this baby is breech” breech? oh my gosh you're even more scared now, your cries are mixed with very scary screams.
“For this, we can do a procedure where we rotate the babe so that it is in the correct position or we can cut the mother's womb so that we can take the babe out”
Aegon looked at the Maester in horror, angrily Aegon pointed the dagger at his neck. "Don't ever think I will allow you to cut open my wife!"
you cried and called his name, Aegon looked at the Maester sharply and immediately walked closer to you. "my love it’s okey, i’m here you’re safe. I won't let anyone cut open your womb, there’s no fucking way," he suppressed all his words.
Your fear grew bigger when the maester approached and started to feel your stomach, "Sorry princess, but this might hurt a little" you just nodded and squeezed Aegon's hand when the Maester did his job, the pain was all you felt. You screamed in pain and told him to stop, after a while the Maester looked back at the midwives and nodded.
“alright princess, if you feel one more contraction I want you to push, okay?” You nodded weakly, you were very tired now. Your nightgown is wet because of your sweat, there is also a lot of blood on it. You took a deep breath as you felt the pain and contractions slowly creep through your body, with the remaining strength you had you tried to give birth your child.
You shook your head and leaned back against the pillow, crying and looking at your husband. he looked very messy, his hair was messy and his eyes were bloodshot. Aegon's heart ached, it hurt when he saw his soulmate looked like this.
“my love, you have to do this. I know it hurts a lot, but I won't be able to live without you. I'm begging for my sake, for the sake of our child” Aegon kissed your forehead several times while continuing to say those words, you realized that your husband and children needed you.
You took a deep breath before you finally pushed with the remaining strength you had. After a few moments the sound of the baby crying was heard, which was not too loud but clear. you turned your head to look for your babe and you can felt your heart hurt, you was afraid something had happened to your little babe.
“Aegon? what happened? please tell me that the babe is okey? right?” You turned to Aegon and looked at him sadly, Aegon was also feeling very worried. he didn't know what happened because after your baby came out, the midwives immediately took him away.
"Congratulations my prince, you have a daughter” the maester's voice sounded, making your heart feel relieved, you took a deep breath and lay back down.
Aegon smiled and kissed you several times while whispering words of thanks. You smiled and stroked his cheek gently, "This is my duty, husband. If you don’t mind I want to sleep now” he chuckled softly and kissed your forehead once more before walking out with his daughter in his arms to let you get some rest.
tag list - @danytar @looneytun3s @hangmanscoming @yazzzmints @julessworldd @eratosmusings (italic means that i can’t tag you)
#aegon ii targaryen#hotd#hotd imagine#aemond targaryen#hotd one shot#prince aegon targaryen#aegon ii fanfic#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon x reader#hotd aegon#hotd aemond#rhaenyra targaryen#alicent hightower#hotd x reader#hotd fanfic#hotd alicent#hotd angst
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#okay. okay. i have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow morning about my personal statement which i am working on...at some point tonight#listen i have the three i need to do outlined i just need to get my draft done for tomorrow#so itll probably be a late night tonight. as it goes with deadlines and adhd. many such cases.#and after my meeting tomorrow i will be able to focus solely on packing for the next few days. which is big!#that needed to be done like. yesterday. but its fine i have boxes to get started i have my suitcase for my essentials and i can easily#start making a dent in the shit i am taking to my dads place#my new concern however is replying to my professor with info on letters of recommendation and how my second professor never fucking#answered my email. but i think hes on sabbatical rn so ill need to find a back up. which sucks bc i loved him and he loved me.#would have been a great rec#but its fine. we persist.#okay. okay. guys i can see it. i can see the light at the end of the long long tunnel#this next week is gonna kick my ass but its FINE we PERSIST and once its over things will get so much easier.#okay. okay!!!!!! listen if anyone sees me reblogging shit after this. look away. my executives are trying their best but they dont function#very well. its fine. its fine!!!!#personal
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The LaDs Men healing your inner child...
...they accidentally evoke your insecurities and comfort you.
❧ Part III - Zayne - Healing Hearts
Pairing: Zayne x You Synopsis: You pretend to be fine when Zayne is called back to work on his day off. Word count: 901 Tags: workaholic zayne, disappointment, neglect, romance, fluff, comfort Side notes: Wow, are we already at Part III? Zayne's story is actually the reason why I created a mini-series instead of posting all four stories at once. It simply got too long, and I had to rewrite the other stories to match their length. In this part, we address the theme of rejection and neglect, but luckily, we have Zayne to help us realize that our feelings matter. Part I - Xavier ❧ Part II - Rafayel ❧ Part IV Sylus
Beep-Beeeep.
A sharp sound cuts through the peaceful moment as you lie on the couch with Zayne. Still exhausted from yesterday's mission, your head rests on his lap, and you're about to fall asleep halfway through the movie while his fingers softly stroke your hair.
He carefully leans forward to reach for his pager on the coffee table while you rub your sleepy eyes. Noticing Zayne's serious expression you slowly sit up next to him. ''What's wrong? An emergency at the hospital?''
Zayne nods as he stares at the pager, reading the message from Akso Hospital. Today was his day off, and he promised to spend it with you. He takes a deep breath and sighs, sliding the pager into his pocket while he shifts his worried gaze to you. He hates himself for asking you this. ''MC, do you mind if we reschedule our movie date?''
You swallow as your heart drops at his words. You saw that coming.
More people are falling ill since the days grow shorter and the nights become colder. Even doctors and nurses aren't spared, which leads to a shortage at the hospital. Zayne had already told you that he was on call, but you had hoped he wouldn't be needed.
''No, it's fine. I think I'm too tired for a movie marathon anyway.'' You reply with a forced smile, even though you feel like crying. You haven't had time for each other in weeks, but you know how important his patients are to him. Putting your needs aside is something you're used to, and you don't want to be a burden by asking him to stay. Instead, you nod heavily as you stand up from the couch, pretending to be alright. ''Let's go, Zayne.''
The young doctor watches you intently for a moment before responding, his eyes following your movements as you walk over to the coat rack to grab your jacket. He knows you too well and can clearly see the disappointment behind your feigned bright expression.
He wishes he could silence the pager and dismiss it, but the oath he's sworn holds him to his duty. So he clears his throat and keeps a straight face, even though it’s breaking him inside to walk away from you.
''Alright. I’ll drop you off on the way.''
Zayne's attentive eyes are focused on your profile while the motor of his vehicle purrs softly. It's been the only sound since you left his apartment and your silence couldn't be louder to him.
When the signal turns green again, he reluctantly takes his gaze back to the road, his hands tightly gripping the steering wheel as he tries to figure out how to get to you.
Beep-Beeeep.
The sigh that escapes your lips as his Pager goes off for the second time today is not missed by him.
''I apologize that we have to postpone our date. I didn't expect it to end like this.'' You hear Zayne's calm voice as he tries to reach you, hoping for a response. You shift in the passenger seat, staring out the window, not really focusing on anything. Another faint smile appears on your face as you turn to him, wondering whether you should tell him the truth: That you feel rejected and disappointed. That you miss him and want to be with him.
But there is this numbing feeling that you might come off as too needy, as someone who clings and is just too much to handle. ''It's okay; don't worry too much about it, Doctor Zayne. We can always meet again on your next free day.'' You say as you stop in front of your apartment building.
Without waiting for his response, you get out of Zayne's car and close the door a bit harder than you intended. You know it's not his fault and that he didn't intentionally let you down. Yet a crippling feeling of neglect washes over you as you retreat from his sight. Completely unaware of his longing gaze upon you as the engine starts again.
Later that day, you have already resigned yourself to spending the evening alone when you suddenly hear your phone vibrate on your desk. Your heart skips a beat as you see Zayne's name on the display:
''I'm taking the day off tomorrow to compensate for today and bought two tickets for a movie tonight. Would you like to accompany me? I'm waiting downstairs.''
You rush out of your apartment as fast as you can, still in disbelief that he is actually here. Zayne is leaning against his car, and a smile spreads across his handsome face as he sees you running towards him, jumping straight into the arms of your beloved. He chuckles softly as you bury your face in his chest before looking up at him.
''Zayne, about earlier... I'm so sorry for how I acted I-'' Your words are interrupted as gentle, green eyes stare back at you while he slowly shakes his head. ''No. You don't have to act strong all the time.''
You feel his arms loosen around you, and just as you start to panic, his warm hands gently wrap around your trembling fingers. ''It's alright to feel disappointed when things don't go your way. All you have to do is tell me how you feel and promise to be honest. I will accept you, no matter which side you show.''
Thank you for reading! Cherry 🍒 Updated Nov. 20th: Added links to the other parts + fixed formatting.
#writercheri 🍒#cherimoyatea🍒#love and deepspace#love and deep space#love & deepspace#lads#l&ds#love and deepspace zayne#zayne love and deepspace#lads zayne#zayne l&ds#love and deepspace fic#zayne x reader#zayne x mc#zayne lads#zayne x you#love and deepspace fanfiction#love and deepspace fanfic#lads fanfiction#lads fic#l&ds fic#l&ds fanfiction#love and deepspace x you#writers on tumblr
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love my leather boots sooo much.. polishing them at weekends is my favourite chore by far I always look forward to getting to do it :-)
#just re-lacing them rn so theyre ready for work tomorrow theyre so shinyyy muah#when my next payday comes around im gonna get a second pair so im not putting as much strain on the leather by wearing them everyday#but i think im gonna go for a different colour to my standard black.... ik solovair do similar ones in burgundy or bottle green hmm#well i have a month to think abt it before i decide!#red is my go to accent colour but green would probably fit better with my work wardrobe... and i do wear work clothes 5/7 days a week#anyway.... i need to meditate and then sleep. i usually settle down for bed 9:30 but im a little wired cuz new med change#so ive been putting it off until i feel actually tired so i wont stress abt not being able to fall asleep and then make it worse#i will probably feel pretty tired at work tomorrow but thats okay i dont have anything taxing scheduled#feeling so much better now this weekend is behind me. ik next weekend will likely be difficult again but im more prepared for it#i need to book myself this trip as well before train tix get too expensive so i have smth to look forward to next month....#just debating whether i actually want to invite other ppl or not. itd be rly nice for everyone to come but with recent events i feel-#a little delicate abt social stuff and i dont want to stress myself out and get insecure bc its meant to be a treat for me#like if i invite other ppl itll become their trip and suddenly im in the backseat third wheeling them all#and ill wish i had uninvited myself so they would enjoy it more etc but the POINT is its smth i wanna do!!!! for me!!!#we'll see how this week goes. i dont rly feel ready rn to unmute their server yet tho bc ill just make myself upset abt next weekend#letting sleeping dogs lie for now... ill come back around eventually it always takes some time to recover from mood swings that intense#okay now goodnight! xoxoxoxooxo#.diaries
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attack on titan headcanons #10
synopsis: how the characters react when you, their s/o, gets hurt. 🩹
characters involved: eren, mikasa, armin, jean, connie, sasha, reiner, bertolt, annie, levi, erwin and hange
notes: i am cooking up a storm, so watch out for that & also hit double digits!!
☆ eren jaeger
bro is INFURIATED
“WHO DID IT HUH?! ILL KILL THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS-”
oh.. you got injured in training? poor babyyy☹️
he’s super sweet and gentle with you.
if anyone tries to go near you though.. he’s super scared they’re gonna accidentally hurt you😭.
so he’s always at the edge of his seat ready to rescue you if needs be.
he gets all of your food, water, clothes, bandages etc.
then the nurses catch him doing it and have to YANK him off of you, once again.
☆ mikasa ackerman
so incredibly caring and concerned 🤍
she was the one who found you on the expedition with a broken leg
she refuses you to the hospital
lets the nurses do their jobs (thank god)
she really wants to be able to help nurse you back to health as well though..
she gives you the next best thing aka massages.
she literally comes in everyday and gives you 3 massages minimum a day
she’ll also sleep in the hospital with you most days.
☆ armin arlert
nothing less than an angel.
for however long you’re in the hospital, he’ll bring you flowers
in there for 3 weeks? new flowers every week.
in there for a week? new flowers every other day.
reads you books every night to help you sleep
sleeps there EVERY single night
always gives good morning and good night kisses
keeps you updated with what’s going on with everyone and training to make sure you don’t miss out.
makes sure to surprise you by bringing your friends there too!! it was a super sweet surprise.
when you’re sleeping, he goes around asking nurses if they need help😖.
☆ jean kirstein
UGH TERRIFIED FOR YOUUU
he has to hype himself up before going to see you in hospital because it just breaks his heart.
but being able to see you, hug you, know that you’re being taken care of makes him feel wayy better.
he’s just happy to see that you’re not too badly injured.
just a sprain from training!
he likes to draw things for you from the outside
or you guys draw together.
yk that cute game where one person draws a squiggle and the other person has to make into a drawing?
yeah, you guys do that. and it’s frickin adorbs😡
☆ connie springer
you went to do some late night training by yourself
and cornelius found you on the ground. in a lot of pain.
he rushed you to the first aid
fastest anyone has EVER seen that man run
you got cleaned up but had to take a break from training until you were better.
definitely tries to make you laugh all the time
even with your injury, he still wants to see you happy and smiling 🤍
☆ sasha braus
aw bless her cotton socks.
your injury wasn’t fatal enough to warrant a hospital stay
but the nurses said to stay home and rest up!
you had to take care of your scar
in her own time, sasha headed over to first aid to ask the nurses how to help you properly☹️.
you literally do not lift a finger!!
she does everything for you, like cleaning it up, wrapping it up etc.
and she’s really good at it and all…
☆ reiner braun
he’s like a scared little boy.
he’ll sit by your side and tell you it’s all okay
but when he’s alone.. HE GETS SO UPSET
sometimes he’ll take ‘bathroom breaks’ just to pull himself together because he hates seeing you in this state :(.
really affects his everyday life
but he hides it well.
BIGG celebrations as soon as you’re out of hospital
is literally like a servant, will get you everything and anything you want.
☆ bertolt hoover
GAH SO ANXIOUS!!
he bakes you cookies for being so brave☹️.
he stays with you all day long until the nurse finally tells him he has to go.
it breaks his heart leaving you but he gets up bright and bloody early to see you in the morning
like i’m talking the second the hospital opens up.
☆ annie leonhart
she’s not nervous,
your injury wasn’t fatal or anything.
she’ll still visit you, of course ;)
she also makes sure to tell you how brave you are
since you are scared of hospitals.
she’ll giggle at your wimpy-ness though.
like you were getting patched up and you were just like trying not to scream
and she was just standing there chuckling at you.
☆ levi ackerman
so so so scared, secretly.
he has lost one too many people
but to lose you? that would completely and utterly BREAK him.
it was a pretty gnarly injury as well…
which was rather terrifying for both you and him
but he’ll keep a cool persona around you.
if he’s unable to visit due to work, he’ll ring the hospital and asks how you are.
he’ll always make time to come see you though, no matter what!!
☆ erwin smith
he hears from his assistant that you’ve been put into hospital
he runs STRAIGHT over and makes sure to comfort you.
he’ll stay till dark when you’re asleep and pay the nurses a visit too
he asks them to take extra good care of you.
if he’s unable to see you, he makes sure to call you up every single day
or at least have SOMEONE come check on you.
☆ hange zoë
GAH!! FREAKS OUT!
hange has seen it all at this rate
but doesn’t seem to heavily affected.
they’ve never really had anyone close to them be extremely injured
they were sooo scared though :(.
it was really sad for everyone to see hange’s energy so low but
they couldn’t help it!!
all they could think about was their poor love in hospital :(.
when they’re around you though, they try to stay positive! and tells you all about their work to keep you both distracted.
#anime and manga#attack on titan#aot fluff#aot x reader#aot headcanons#attack on titan headcanons#aot fanfiction#shingeki no kyojin#snk x y/n#snk x reader#snk anime#eren headcanons#mikasa headcanons#armin headcanons#jean kirschtein headcanons#connie x reader#sasha braus#reiner headcanons#snk bertholdt#annie leonhardt x reader#levi x reader#levi headcanons#erwin smith#hange x reader#eren x reader#mikasa x reader#armin x reader#jean x reader#reiner x reader#erwin x reader
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NO I HAD SO MUCH FUN AT STREAM definitely looking forward to the finished comic (as I've. Probably Said) and to the next stream! :D Loved getting to see how you how you work (because you're insanely fast regardless, whether you were a little slower than usual or not I was still so impressed!) Although Intellectually I know what to do to work faster, it's sick as hell to see it in actual application. I definitely struggle with talking about anything outside of a very narrow set of subjects and with timing what I want to say but it is a process :) I am optimistic :) For Now
OH IM GLAD i feel like its hard to make a drawing stream entertainin so im glad you had a good time (❁´◡`❁)
tryin to chat with everyone and also trying to make sure it's Not Dead Silent probably hindered my drawin speed a bit (and also just general anxiety in bein watched while i work) but its reassurin to hear you think i was workin at a fair pace ♪(´▽`) !
#snap chats#the chat delay's awkward though cause it'll seem like ive commented on something fairly later after someones said it#but i always look forward to what you gotta say whether its in my inbox or in my stream chat- tho i get feelin awkward chattin in real time#in any case ! hope to see people show up for the Hopeful stream next week#where i SHOULDNT be drawin anythin gloomy. or three pages long ☠️#its so funny tho cause im still fixing up the first page even if i said i finished it (;´д`)#goes to show im super particular bout how i want things to look ☠️☠️#BUT I SWEAR ILL HAVE THIS COMIC UP TONIGHT/TOMORROW MORNING I PROMIIIIISE#i just ate my susshi and takoyaki so i got some energy now no more 1AM naps#anyway ! see everyone later when i post shit 👁️💋👁️
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