#ill get back to you tonight
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I have reread what I wrote
It's not terrible
I'm still not happy with it 😐
I may still be too close to it
Does anyone want to volunteer to beta 😬 (mutuals only)
#fandoms include: mass effect bg3 and fallout new vegas#yes this is all the same fic#its the first chapter of a long fic#im kinda flying by the seat of my pants here but also kinda want to roll with that#just to like.... inoculate me about writing and posting and not worrying about shit#but i need an honest set of eyes and also some validation#i can explain more about what im doing in dms#but i feel like it is crack fic taken seriously#just... idk IDK#its probably an insane idea that im the only audience for#but im doing it anyway#so yeah.... any volunteers?#ill reup this this evening when i wake up but im going to bed now#or soon rather#ill probably dick around on here for a bit before nodding off#if you respond and i dont get back and im still posting thats why#ill get back to you tonight#anyway to get ready for bed!
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apocalypse doodlings aka We Couldve Had Grey Hair Erik And Charles Is There Too I Guess
#mcu#xmen#xmen movies#xmen apocalypse#erik lehnsherr#magneto#charles xavier#professor x#cherik#not really but sssshh theyre in the same post#snap sketches#anyway Be Surprised If You Will i just intended to do practice drawings of charles tonight#charles doodle is a vague redraw of the first charles doodle i made so thats fun i GUESS#its been a hot minute and james' face still eludes me but we're getting somewhere Probably. i hope.#but then i remembered micheal said originally they were going to make erik's hair go white in apocalypse and i crumbled#and i was JUST gonna leave it at the first erik drawing but then i was like 'can i draw him chilling for once' so. pseudo screencap redraw#it was so funny drawing the first two back-to-back on the same canvas cause i had Charming Charles in one folder#and i open the second one and its. Rage. Anger. and then to round it off He Got Better :) vjealkeajvLK#sorry i made the charles drawing look like a dating sim screenshot i was gonna leave the bg blank but i got mad at it being blank#so i cobbled that together. i cobble a dating sim appropriate bg together vjelkjea#its so funny a lot of times ill be like 'i wont draw a bg' and then ill make a quick one anyway i cant resist i apologize#ok im so sleepy so goodnight team my head hurt
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so heyyyy.... how y'all doin......
#did you know that seasonal depression can sometimes just last all year round and JUST be depression? i didn't!#anywho ummmm im back idk how much or in what capacity BUT ill be getting to asks at the very least!#sorry for ditching yall i truly didnt mean to life just unfortunately finds a way (/derogatory)#personal#edit: i may not get to asks TONIGHT. but ill get to them!#im a busy bee rn
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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BRO
Im crying
#juno shot at the sun with a fuckin squiffer#i went to go hit the fresh button back at them & i saw their locker changed#10/10 i love to see it#if you see this you have gr8 locker artist skills#also that I'm sorry i was so bad tonight PFFT#This morning i was doin clam blitz & had like a baseline of like 10-15 kills#& tonight i was struggling to get like THREE#they were very kind tho & had the most encouraging booyahs. nice to have even when im getting sniped in the back of the head :}#however ended on a high note being back to 10 kills & we won the match#ALSO I S RANKED TODAY very happy with myself#moving up in the world#okay okay ill shut up now. im tired so i rant a lot aight let me have this#chonny jash#moss post#KJ rants too much again
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today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned
#hush n shush wifi#just a tad sad#actually more like angry as shit#okay let me TELL YALL about my day#first: the annoying#i was going shopping at a grocery warehouse and you know how those parking lots are always super crowded?#well it was. there were no parking spots and there were so many cars and people trying to go everywhere#i scraped my wheels too which is fine but one of my relatives who likes cars acts like it's a sin#so that shook me up enough that i didn't go outside for the rest of the day#and THEN#OHHHH AND FUCKING THEN.#if anyone remembers the absolute ass of a person from last year who i thought was my friend but said horrible things to me out of the blue#WELL THEY CAME BACK#i never got a chance to block them initially because they blocked me first#BUT I GOT FUCKING MESSAGES FROM THEM TONIGHT#AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING WAS ESSENTIALLY THAT THEY MEANT WHAT THEY SAID#they said some bullshit about the execution being wrong and that their ex wrote it for them#which by the way is just scummy on its own#and that they get mad emotionally which is a horrible excuse#and had the AUDACITY TO ASK IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS#IN WHAT DELUDED SELF CENTERED WORLD DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN TO THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN#my trust is a VERY VERY FRAGILE THING#AND THIS IS A VERY LARGE CONTRIBUTOR TO IT#this isn't an apology. they regret none of it#this is a way for them to make themself feel better#the scariest part is that this person by now is almost/IS an adult#which is terrifying if that means there are more people like that out there#i try not to wish ill will but i genuinely hope no one ever has to suffer through being their 'friend' ever again#anyways they're blocked on all of my platforms now.#if the person is somehow reading this. hi! never talk to me again. you're a horrible human being with no consideration for other's feelings
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Looking at my testament art from last year like hm yeah this isnt great but if i found these images on some old fansite or art account or smth id freak it n this does help
#i should draw testament again. maybe not a new piece every day for a month this time. slow down bud#thats how you get burned out for another year.#id love to get to a point where im comfortable sharing anything lol#new laptop should be coming tonight… maybe ill draw… i have other things i wanna do with it though…#MAN im glad i backed up most of that art. i think i only lost 2 that i did a little later…#i have screenshots of the files but regrettably testament offering you mysterious liquid and lighting a cigarette for exe beast is gone sad#the kat goes meow
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Do you mind dumping all of your thoughts on ebina for us?
i dont even know where to begin on ebina he just sucks major horse cock and i cant be swayed on this but ill put it under the cut for everyones sake. this is rambly as hell too idc i refuse to spend any more time thinking about ebina more than i already do
like what is his purpose. like i KNOW his purpose but it sucks- him being a Plot Twist baby is the dumbest shit in the world and they dont even ATTEMPT to do anything meaningful with it i do not care what anyone says
why even HAVE HIM be related to ichiban if he never even interacts with ichi in a meaningful way, esp when ichi's whole theme is family-- WHEN THE GAME IS LITERALLY ABOUT ICHI MEETING HIS MOM (or it was until they decided they didnt care about akane in the plot anymore)
like we mentioned it before here but if you have to have ebina related to a yakuza from the past for his ol Bring Down The Yakuza gig then why not make him an orphan from kazama's orphanage ???? literally nothing wouldve changed except it would've made more sense with how much kiryu deals with him instead of ichi. it wouldve been a great way to round things off with kiryu's saga too, what with having to confront the consequences of kazama's actions directly and finally and officially burst that fanatic bubble of his (i dont wanna HEAR nothing about gaiden that's not enough for me im GREEDY). theres something in here too about kiryu and daigo but i cant articulate it... i just know that wouldve been better too .... something something kiryu brought daigo into this life and now that he sees kazama 'bring' ebina into this life hes projecting ... idk ..
the game def didnt seem to give a fuck that ebina was arakawa's son considering they fucking revealed it in a bland-ass in-game cutscene FROM DAIGO OF ALL PEOPLE daigo respectfully why the fuck do you know this
i dont know how many people watch my streams but i was so obnoxious about ebina's villain monologue before his fight because its just ...... it just SCREAMS Hey You Guys Remember Aoki Right. fucking Masumi Arakawa Had Two Sons: One Who Loved Him And One Who Hated Him LITERALLY SHUT UP AND DIE I HATE YOU MASATO ARAKAWA WAS RIGHT THERE AND HE DID IT BETTER THAN YOU fucking stealing his bleach japan shit too. you might be able to steal bleach japan and piss me off about it the entire time because fucking everyone and their grandmother besides zhao seems to have forgotten fucking bleach japan but you can NOT steal Number One Hater Son from masato arakawa GET AWAY FROM HER 🗣️🗣️🗣️ 'why did masumi arakawa have to get himself killed' BECAUSE HIS NUMBER ONE HATER SON HAD HIM KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS A BETTER HATER THAN YOU SHUT UP
another thing that pissed me off to no end was the sawashiro shit fuckin Oh He Kept Him Alive Because He Wanted Him To Stop Him SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HATE YOU . i really wouldve preferred if they just killed sawashiro like old man why are you here- WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE YOUR EYE GET GOUGED but im getting off topic. NOTHING bout what we've seen from ebina could convince me he Wanted To Be Stopped like absolutely nothing i dont want to hear this bullshit excuse. it is MERELY just reminding me of ichi being like 'i wish i couldve been there to stop you' @ aoki and its making me pissed
like im the only person who cares this intensely because im the only person who likes aoki enough like this and im trying NOT to mention him so much and just focus on ebina but its just so annoying... like its impossible NOT to see the parallels, especially when the game is practically bashing it into my brain every three seconds. like if we're talking aoki/masato-adjacent antags then i like eiji so its not the fact that HE IS aoki adjacent that pisses me off its just that he has no agency OUTSIDE of being a ghost of him. like there's nothing interesting about him in the slightest and he's barely even on screen why are you forcing me to give a fuck about this twat. if anything the one aoki thing i wish they did mirror onto him was dying at the end i do not care about this man
#iw spoilers#spoilers#snap chats#i think these are all my thoughts. or at least the very basics#point is Resident Aoki Fan Hates The Guy Reminiscent Of Aoki more at 11#its like .... aoki was an interesting antagonist for his reasons you cant just frankenstein them onto this rando motherfucker#most deviantart oc ass backstory too literally kill yourself#OK IM DONE FR NOW. i wanna DRAW TODAY#maybe ill finally update my ichi blog cause ive had a post sketched for weeks but i keep getting distracted on sundays#im also driving back to school later so .... heres to hoping i have energy tonight vjeLVKERJ#im drawing other bullshit rn .. lol..
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The day I'm no longer terrified to ask for self ship commissions is the day you'll all finally block me. You'll be free.
#you see. i love seeing my friends s/ships so much. it brings me so much indescribable joy.#tai talks#however. ME putting MY s/ships out on display? i should be executed and electricuted and flayed#oughh i wish i could get some but also i COULD and do usually just draw my own stuff 😔 but i love getting art from other people#adds variety in my life yknow#although i do have a couple coms im excited to get back coming back to me soon ^_^ just not of my s/ships lol#maybe ill draw a little tonight since its my 'weekend'#ive been meaning to finish several things but ive just been SO fucking busy at work its annoying me a lil
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as promised, please find a little bit more about my cxm and cupi.para muses below!
colla.r x malice has so much untapped possibilities it's actually amazing! aij.i and mine.o are both former cops ( investigations and field ops specifically ) who are now part of a separate private investigation unit. they're absolutely perfect for your standard whodunnit plot: did your muse end up on the wrong side of town and become the only witness to a crime related to adonis? did your muse kill someone else and now has ended up having to play a seperate role? did they know the deceased, and may now have a key piece of information? these guys will be right up your alley!
talking about bodies ... kagey.uki, in turn, is a forensics scientist investigator. recently appointed as the head of the government mandated group investigating the same group that aij.i and mine.os gang is. his area of expertise is profiling. he's going to be at the crime scene, but he's also going to want to get to know people around the crimes at the same time. if you're looking for a bit of spice in your life, we could explore the route of an prolific interview, a conversation where it's clear he is analysing your muse to an extremely dedicated level! he has another side of him that is more spoiler specific, so if you're looking to go further into his route / character please feel free to message.
kei has a bit more of a ... unique route. the only character who isn't directly linked with investigations but rather an special officer himself. his role is mainly bodyguarding influential figures, such as politician's or celebrities. his current goal is hanging around aij.i yana.gi and his team because they are his latest group to protect! the fact i've written him for at least 2 years without getting a bodyguard plot is insane :( please let him protect your muse. or, what if ... your muse is going against the person he's going to protect? who doesn't like a fight?
saeki can follow the same path as them all regarding crimes but truthfully as an officer he'll be handling much else outside of it. he's also a frequent bar goer who is ... pretty infamous for doing silly things went drunk. he's just a silly little guy. ( with some spoiler related plots but feel free to dm for those!)
with them all having such unique characters the idea of dynamics where people meet them for their eccentricities / unusual personalities but then meet them when they're on the job. so they can see both sides of the dynamics, muse specific though - i think they all kinda deserve a childhood friend. a.iji was a bit of a delinquent and kageyu.kis is a bit spoilery ... but something about having someone by your side is very. yeah!
cupi.d parasite has some great characters. shelb.y snail is a ceo for a massive corporation: cup.id corp. black tie events, business meetings and deals could also be a potential avenue for other potential business based muses. to flip side this. his route has one of my favourite plot points: fake / pretend relationship. not to live your lynette dreams but ... i think fake / pretend rel plots are fun. they dont have to end with love, our muses can actually hate each other. lets see who poisons the glass first, shall we?
rau.l is actually the loml but also an famous actor of many action movies. he grew up, and still has interest in, archaeological sites. does your muse tend to go exploring places like this on their own? even find themselves easily lost in museums or other places holding immense history? he's right up your own alley! he's an absolute fountain of knowledge and always happy to ... overshare, perhaps. ive spoken about them before but he's infamous in having fwb relationship - come on, fwb with an actor??? can you say no to that???
alla.ns occupation isn't as star studded, but that doesn't mean he isn't involved in a lot of scandal. is your muse struggling to get over someone they love? well, alla.n is particularly your type for the fact he loves that sort of thing. there's a, uh, supernatural secret hes holding but that is ... a secret unless you wish to be spoiled or have played the game. either way we can play around with this twist just as much, too!
to list gil.ls occupation, there's simply a major list: ceo, author and editor. compared to shel.by who comes off as work oriented, gil.l is very much understanding to the personal balance, to which he will be a strong advocate of spending time for your house too! anyone who is a fan of literature, perhaps even love stories, may find themselves interested in the: ' love letter to you series ', which him meeting a fan who has read his works? would be such a cute idea. or someone who reads it and finds his way of writing not quite so great ... the angst would be so fun: the cliche, he's right behind me moment isnt he? gil.l wont take offence, he'll just simply understand and call it a day.
these guys are notorious for being liked but similarly rejected, professionals at being dumped on dates and infamously known on a dating companies list as the most problematic customers. talking to them about love would truly be a fun twist, though simply being their friends and living through whatever they have to offer is also another flick of the switch. i really want more black tie threads, and i think they bring the perfect opportunity for that!
#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#ill post piofio.re ideas tomorrow this got super LONG.#theres probs more i can think of but i tried to keep it as spoiler free as possible#these two fandoms r probs my least used ... id consider piofio.re a lil bit above bc im very much like!!#over it. but heres some ideas ... if you are struggling on picking muses and do want a more modern based / every day fandom <3#im gonna be getting to dms tonight and thinking this weekend may just. send any meme i see? time to get back to the grind of sorts ... im#ready to write and WRITE SOME MORE
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i'm feeling a bit silly goofy like i might add gallagher
#am i joking.#you will never know.#anyways.#now that im done with the story *kisses tobias for finishing the fight for me *#i can get back to my usual posting ( ill rb some memes and write tomorrow / tonight depending on if the gym kills me )#ooc.
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trying to look outwardly mean and scary and pretending i don't give a fuck is hard when i smile like i'm filled with rainbows at leaves with a neat shape and also at leaves without a neat shape bcause i don't want them to feel left out
#THERAPY TONIGHT i can't wait to tell margaret that i let myself be angry!!!#'no it's ok i processed it'#do have to tell her i'm in the processed stage of realising my old counsellor was right#and margaret will be like 'that's such a sad statement'#and i'll have to be like 'ok margaret you can't keep saying that everything about me is sad you're making it hard to stay upbeat'#also i will try to get back to messages eventually i am just so mentally ill i am SORRY#finnie shouts into the void
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Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?
thank you so much !!
i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]
and the obligatory bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#fall of x#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#for clarity on of this tag ramble im calling magneto max OK ok#sorry it took me a while to answer- ive been busy this week !#but yah like i said theres a lot of Fall Of X moments i wanna poke at#one i really wanted to doodle around was max's time with the shadow king from Resurrection of Magneto#the third issue is prob my fave in general if im so tbh .... but i wont prattle bout that ill go back to my previous prattle#i dont think i have a comic in mind prob just a doodle with shadow charles....#i mean if im devious enough i can def turn it into a comic but for now i just know i wanna do something with that#honestly even this moment i might revisit when i have more time to draw something. a lil better#i dont hate this its a sound start- but i THINK i wanna draw a smooch. a lil kiss. idk we'll see#cause im cheeky like that. 'will this be the last time i see you' 'girl idk we can kiss about it though' etc etc#god not to get off topic but im so curious what will happen with these two ... but thats for a diff post i guess#honestly if you guys have any runs i should read lemme know !! i just finished way of x and bar that ive just been reading the 60s issues#i have a couple on my list i wanna check out but im always excited to look into recs if yall think theyre worth it !!#but ya. thats all from me for now#my time is so finite this week i hope i can draw these sillies again soon .. i have a lot of ideas i fear#maybe i can sneak in one more doodle tonight ... <- doubtful
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where's the comic where the artist is thinking of skipping dinner and imagines laios going "hi im laios from dungeon meshi. you're breaking my heart" so they cook dinner. having a laios fictive has been very much like that
#he didnt like that we avoided the onions in our pasta so when he fronted he was like that's ok ill get some veggies in for us#so when we had leftovers tonight we were like thank u laios we won't avoid them this time....... we'll drink some milk for u too#don't know where he is right now though. laios come back you still have to make your fursona#-🪰
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sometimes when a con is coming up my coworkers and hang out after work at some space at our workplace making our cosplays which is great and chill bc i love doing my crafts in an environment where i feel at ease. anyways. one of them needs to look after her cat and she suggested that we do our thing at her place. which. yeah ofc! but also day instantly ruined from slight deviation to plans. i was supposed to go home. grab my materials. eat. grab an energy drink to go and drink it while sitting on the floor of a meeting room doing stuff to foam clay. but now i have to go to someone's house. i havent been there before. i am not at ease at anyone's house almost ever. i will be too anxious to get shit done. i will not be able to enjoy my energy drink as i dont want to be sipping it at someones House yknow. and i'm also terrified of being in the way or in someone's turf when im not at all familiar with the place. i cant sit on the floor at someones fancy home idk if i can manage working under conditions that aren't shrimp pose.
#i will be SO brave tonight at the cost of my social battery#which is fine ig since i dont have work tomorrow. just fun things.#but friday and saturday will b suuper busy as there's a music festival i actually enjoy and im going there with 2 friends 2nd year in a row#which will also be fun#but draining#but not so draining that it would require anything more than sleeping in on sunday#anyways do you guys think i should finally do something about my social anxiety#i mean i should and i could bc of work healthcare but idk how to do that#i need a step by step#and i cant get one bc ill just get a ''just call there''#which. i can do phonecalls nowadays. but i will not be able to say anything i want to so i will need to prepare#anyways welcome to my anxiety rant i will now go back to editing on the clock lmao#leevi talks
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.
#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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