#its probably an insane idea that im the only audience for

[master-gatherer]

I have reread what I wrote

It's not terrible

I'm still not happy with it 😐

I may still be too close to it

Does anyone want to volunteer to beta 😬 (mutuals only)

[atiianeishaunted]

some canon stfuf about the sonder cast bwaa :33 you can have ur own hcs btw id love to see them <3 but!! yeah,, i feel liek infodumping a teensy bit hrgfrhfh mainly cuz im not in an art mood 2day sigh doesnt include everyone bc this is only stuff i can think of off the top of my head atm but :3

lance: canonically bisexual, might be a trans man (havent decided? its honestly up 2 the audience, could go either way), was a huge moviestarplanet player when he was a kid, would probably play dress to impress methinks, for the LONGEST time was convinced something was going on between allura and keith and was insanely jealous and bitter, has the worst gaydar ever TRUST, figured out he was bisexual while playing msp but it only got worse when he met keith and hes really pissed about it

keith: gay as hell but hasnt exactly processed or accepted it (just knows hes scared of women) (for many reasons), transgender (will respond to anything besides feminine pronouns n such), most likely did his own piercings dont ask how or why, allura is the only woman thus far hes comfortable with because she reminds him of a certain someone, allura and him r huge gossips, jack of all trades but really does not know what hes good at like he doesnt know a thing about himself (one time lance challenged him to try out his sniper bc they got into an argument and keith was surprisingly good at it, he was evidently more confused than lance somehow?) (think that one family guy audio where s liek "how r u doing that" "i dunno ;;; O_O"), if you ask him ANYTHING about himself he will most likely just say "yeah i dont rememebr" or "I dont know", often talks very old school and "retro" (in lance's words), surprisingly a decent cook/baker, not as good as hunk of course but can keep up, despite this it was revealed in a conversation with hunk that keith was eating glass among other inedible things while going crazy in the desert (his feral era <3), can diy explosives among other things and no one acknowledges it because it scares them, this boy is very autistic, audhd in fact, im right and you all know it allura: lesbian but doesnt realize it just yet, would probably love the idea of neo/xenopronouns she'd find them whimsical, surprisingly prefers moths over butterflies (mainly after a talk she and keith had one night), huge gossip and loves romance but not in a "i need to date a man" way but "i want to play cupid" (think mabel from gravity falls) (she did have a phase of being boy crazy but that quickly went away when she was brought out of stasis), she loves dressing up but mainly dresses down and more casually because she doesnt go out as much thanks to altea going kaput and all that, she adores gardening and likes to make dyes and such from her flowers, huge diy queen (TRUSTT) she can sew and all that, probably real crafty, keith and allura are close friends and both extremely out of touch with normal human people, she frequently asks him for advice due to their closeness and they just make eachother worse /aff, unironically used wicked in a sentence and was very proud of it (lance almost threw keith out of an airlock for this one), not the best cook but tries her best and is fairly confident with her skills (vicecore if you play alchemy stars) (keith almost banned her from the kitchen) (they agreed on supervised kitchen hours)

pidge: aroace and agender, literally a chronically online cosplayer tech nerd, probably has been cancelled multiple times to the point where matthew had to take every piece of tech they had in the house, has doxxed people before, obsessed with vocaloid and anime, wants to get piercings really bad but their parents wont let them, uses any pronouns and if you ask for their gender they will change their answer everytime or answer with something silly like "the void", their favorite person is Hunk but beyond that prefers robots and tech as their companions, keith is their favorite victim of pranks (save him), the only one who isnt scared of keith even a little bit, evil scientist coded, too smart for their own good, not very socially smart and misses social cues but doesnt really care, very picky about the food they consume, iconic 13-14 year old who is a bit too excited at the prospect of having an excuse to build weapons

[okaystoptellingmetomakeanaccount]

Man you know what i would really want. Kind of like a site that could compare all duck media (or hell, all disney media would be cool too) and how much people like them. Like put the ducktales finale against a barks 10 pager and see which one people prefer, which one has a higher score. If the entire top 100 would be dominated by comics or if a few animated things would slip in too.

And you cant like compare imdb scores to inducks scores because 1 inducks has a weird rating system, and 2 the people voting are completely different audiences. It’s never gonna be a fair logical comparison. But imagine if there was like a site where they had both and where everyone was equally fan of everything and then they would fairly vote i just want to knowww.

Ratings are cool, but cross media ratings are even cooler. How does episode 3 of the this duckburg life podcast/audioplay compare to Paperino skipper from Giorgio Pezzin. I need to know. Has chapter 5 of totem decapitato a higher rating than the first ever episode of dt87? Do people like the ducktales lost lamp movie more than the solving mysteries and rewriting history book? Has the first story of PKNA more historical significance to the fans than Donalds first ever appearance in general? Will they go as far as rate Evroniani higher than The wise little hen?

These ridiculous questions about things that are impossible to compare but I just want to because it’s fun i need that. Because Duck Avenger: Shadow of venus is completely different from: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: mickey gets sick (or whatever i dont actually remember any episode titles) or Mickey Donald and Goofy go on a roadtrip (whatever that cartoon was with the trailer its a fun one) but they’re somehow also all the same ‘mickey and friends’ franchise. I just think it’s interesting and i will probably now not rest until these questions are answered oh help

How does the Scrooge McDuck and money cartoon compare to the kingdom hearts manga? Is Donald Duck going quackers better than episode 7 season 1 of darkwing duck? Is Donalds appearance in who framed roger rabbit better than his orange juice? Is the Toontown in Disneyland Epcot a better experience than The Dark Side from MMMM? Would you rather be stuck in a room for an hour with only a donald duck colouring book from the zeeman or disney crossy road? Do the fans like the donald duck clock more than an extremely goofy movie? Is the Scrooge McDuck boardgame a better experience than that Donald Duck’s birthday childrens book? Did people get more enjoyment out of Sora’s super smash bros ultimate trailer or the Daisy Duck lego brickhead?? IS THAT BOOTLEG DONALD DUCK UMBRELLA FROM CHINA I GOT AS A KID BETTER OR THIS YOUTUBE VIDEO I WATCHED YESTERDAY ABOUT MICKEY MOUSE COPYRIGHT??? (both those last two things did not happen to me im sorry)

going a bit far there but thats because the general idea without all of the insanity just seems so incredibly fun to me. Even the brickhead and trailer comparison. Yknow what who cares about unfair voting. Just compile all the normal unweighted inducks scores, all imdb and letterboxd and rotten tomatoes and whatever more exists ratings, amazon reviews, to videogame ratings that you always see on wikipedia and just put them all together and see what the result is and also implement the inducks ratings because its a very easy and handy rating system and let people rate on the site on too of that.

Okay no dont do that that would be stupid but like all the cartoons and comics and audio things and games and boardgames and books and maybe not boardgames but everything that is a story and see which stories people like the most i just think that would be so cool.

I dont think im making sense i think Im going to bed now lmfao.

[existentialterror]

hi this is probably SUCH a weird ask to receive but im scrolling your light tag in a fit of autism and saw you refer to lament (thats lament right? ihavent missed some critical light lore where she has a fiance who isn't troy lament?) as butch and its been sending me into a conniption. is lament a butch. is it real. me and my friend have had our own butch lesbian troy lament mindscape for months now.were we right all along. i feel like im going insane.

omg no you are so good, I am incredibly flattered. (Listen, PSA to anyone who's worried about being weird about Light to me: it's no problem, it's really hard to be weirder about Light than I am and I'll be impressed rather than freaked out if you are. It's chill.) That tag actually wasn't about Lament! This is about her late (or, if she was in fact swallowed up by an antimeme and is still kicking, "late") fianceee. I could have sworn that there was a detail about her late fianceee on my author page, but looking now, there definitely isn't and has never been one. What was I thinking of? Maybe an old rp character sheet? ... You know what, I'm putting that on there right now, because fuck it.

LOVE WINS!

Anyway, this is part of the vast amount of Light lore that mostly only exists in my head and draft files.* The late fiancee's name is Mars. Her other appearance on the site is in Soulless's tale all I ever wanted; all I ever deserved, which is where the Mars-As-Nobody concept came from, and which is quite lovely writing.

Here are some Mars facts for interested audiences:

Very butch

Also a scientist; worked with Light in the regular world. Neither of them had any conception of the anomalous before The Incident.

Light loved and misses her very much.

Dedicated transhumanist

Light attributes her strong moral compass to Mars having one. Unclear if this is actually true given that the other Lights (O5-2, etc) also seem to have a strong utilitarian moral compass and don't have their own Mars - but this would be surprising news to Light herself.

She and Light lived in a ricketty little one-bedroom apartment together and kept pet finches.

So that's who that's about. But none of this contradicts with butch Lament, certainly. Get him in here. Good for him! I love that.

I feel like there's some space you could explore here about new Foundation recruits who have their whole memory erased, and the new identity they put together... could be wildly different from the old one. The Foundation might encourage that as a way of separating them from their past. Like, you don't have to go there with Lament specifically, but you could.

I also think the idea of Light having a type is cute. Lament and Mars have never met each other. But if they were to meet they'd see the other and maybe size each other up a little and be like "...yeah, okay, that checks out."

-----

*... I may be working on something. Watch this space.

[legy]

random game roundup

Wand Wars - $11

Included in Bundle for Ukraine

this is pretty neat. wand wars is a party game about being wizards shooting a magic orb at each other and the last one standing wins. this has to have far more staying power as a multiplayer game but, alas, i am by my lonesome. i didnt love the control scheme (does really feel like it wants to be a twin stick shooter and not something played on keyboard). also it really bugged me that the projectile wasnt pixellated when everything else was. wand wars kinda fits the niche of a good boutique board game IMO, fun to break out with nerd friends at some nerd gathering

Baldi's Basics Plus - $10

Included in Bundle for Ukraine

my commitment to the premise of this project being vastly outweighed by how much i dont actually want to play baldi's basics. i could have hit random again and nobody would be the wiser

so i guess my take is roughly that im in the exact nostalgia bait audience for baldi's basics (i played tons of these edutainment games in elementary school) but its specifically aping so much of its aesthetic and presentation from sonic's schoolhouse which i cant imagine had a widespread school computer lab adoption. if someone made a off-color video game inspired by Disney's Adventures in Typing with Timon & Pumbaa or smth that would probably actually get somewhere. for me. also i hate jumpscares and YOU DONT EVEN SOLVE MATH PROBLEMS IN THIS ONE???? WHATS THE POINT

this is not a good review for baldi's basics sorry. i like that the camera controls are vertically locked even tho the game makes a lot of other concessions for a modern audience. and there really is nothing else in its genre that looks like this

Valfaris - $24.99

i cannot for the life of me figure out why i own this game.

ok first things first the art direction in this fucks insanely. it feels like a ps1 game in a way many other ps1 throwbacks don't. i really enjoyed looking at valfaris.

however this controls like SHIT and not in a way that i think would be fixed by a controller. i spent a couple minutes rebinding my controls so it isnt arrow keys to move and q/w for main attacks (this randomly reset to default at some point so that was cool) and i was still fighting for my life to actually accomplish what the game wants me to. there's a segment only a few seconds into the first level where you need to climb on ropes over some evil dogs to cross a ledge but 1. the dogs can jump up and attack you and 2. you can only aim your gun straight down. and the dogs respawn infinitely so you cant jump into the dog pit, slaughter them all and continue on your way. i legitimately could not get past this section because the controls were so ass. really unfortunate.

also the game has "wishlist the sequel" as one of its three menu options which: lmao

Thou Shalt Be Brave - $1

Included in Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality

this is a micro-rpg that is imo unfortunately hamstrung by its gimmick (the really small resolution). theres some really bad readability issues happening in this game. there is a manual on the itch page which helps a lot in combat but its really hard to excuse the "you sease lok s" message you see constantly.

this is pretty light on gameplay also but its generally a pretty fun timewaster. you explore the woods and fight guys and the ultimate goal appears to be maxing all your stats. i just wish i wasnt examining every button like it was a cryptic glyph to decipher

Planets Under Attack - $11.99

you know its bad when ive had this game on steam for over 10 years and have no idea what it is

i'm not sure how to describe planets under attack. it's a very minimalistic strategy game about spending resources to take over planets in each map. it seemed pretty chill but i did kinda feel like i was wasting my time playing it. the presentation is really competent and overall i think this is the strongest of the five games i played today

[hermywolf]

¡Hola!

Can I ask for your opinion?

According to you as Argentinian, with a stadium like this (has a Running track that separates the pitch to the audience seat by a farrr margin), do you think the ticket prices to watch La Scaloneta vs Indonesia (aka: mi pais) worth it?? (Not to mention the squad will be without Dybala,El Toro,Licha)

Even the VIP tix (the Purple ones) can't shake hands with players because of the distance from the audience seat to the Players Entrance (vestibule) and Bench is quite far.. I feel bad if Argentina scores, they have to run that far if they want to celebrate the goal with my people 😭😭

(tmi: if I go, I only can afford to buy ticket Category 2 (the Blue ones, only have view behind the net) or Category 3 (the Orange, the above/highest tribune ones)

About the squad prediction, imo Scalo most probably will go all out against Australia (June 15th), and probably Messi will play full time for that match. Against Indonesia I predict it will be like the game with Curacao, with Scalo let other (different starters) players to play and I don't think Messi will play full time in my country (half of me don't want Messi to end up tired but it's understandable the public's demand for him to play full time will be high).

Also, a warning. My country with its people can be sooo deadly embarassing. I hope Argentina's visit to my country will be nothing but a pleasant trip for the squad (and us as the host too).

hola!!

okay so first off im sorry but i have no idea about the prices and stuff. thats entirely up to you. i think the prices are worth it bc its a once in a lifetime experience especially with a team thats almost exactly the world cup winners team and so soon after the wc, with such quality players and chemistry, but then again nobody should ever trust an argentinian when it comes to how much money should be spent on futbol bc we're the people who sold cars and houses and saved money for years to attend important matches so we're a little too insane about the subject to be trusted to be reasonable when it comes to this so um. maybe don't listen to me. its up to you.

messi really doesn't like playing part time in games, even when its about leaving five minutes before the end to get a standing ovation he always likes to play the full game if he can instead. plus its not like he's got a bunch of club games surrounding the international dates during the transfer window either as far as i know. so unless he's hurt or really tired i think its unlikely that he'll play part time, i think he'll probably play full time both games. but yeah i agree i think especially if a lot of players come for the friendlies scaloni'll do like the curacao game and switch players a lot so as many as possible get to play which would also be nice to see!

im sure the scaloneta will have a fantastic time in indonesia, personally im really looking forward to the friendlies, i can't wait to see them play together again. sorry, this wasn't really helpful, but i hope you'll have a great time too and manage to get good spots if you decide to!!

[askaniritual]

You are very brave for the kpop opinion and it's always great to see someone contain multitudes in the things they enjoy. And that comment about SM groups was funny. Do you have any opinions on LOONA?

lol thanks anon

i am primarily an SM enjoyer, like sorry but i know quality when i see it and in my experience stanning groups from new companies with only one group tends to result in heartbreak (RIP to the fiftyfifty stans in the audience). that being said loona is one of the groups ive followed for a while so. my opinions on loona r as follows:

everything about loona from their very inception has absolutely radiated the vibes of a management company that has more money than business sense. kind of a reverse BigHit situation lmfao. like truly just everything about their concept and debut spoke to the worst excesses of kpop: too many members (not your bias though, shes an essential member)*, an absolutely bananas number of releases, and insanely complicated lore that they were never gonna be able to follow through on (my thoughts on kpop lore r like. a whole separate post lol). like lets be real if EXO couldn't make it work idk why anybody thought that the weapons manufacturer turned entertainment company (i know its a subsidiary don't come at me) was gonna be able to pull it off.

i feel like this sounds like i am critical of them, but i think their concept fucking slayed i just also think its pretty clear that jaden jeong is like. good at coming up with cool ideas and really bad at following through on them. like i am wishing for the best for the tripleS girlies but. not holding out a lot of hope that thats gonna go any better. in general he just seems to be bad at managing scope for his creative endeavors so the fact that blockberry was apparently just sending him wheelbarrows of cash and telling him to go crazy was like. probably never going to pan out.

all that being said i loooved their concepts, i thought their videos were really cool and the lore stuff was mostly well executed and it would have been cool to see if they had stuck literally any kind of landing on that. butterfly is a banger, star is genuinely one of my favorite english-language kpop releases and tbh like SUPER slept on (deserved to be a hit over dynamite thats for fuckin sure), odd eye circle is a hell of a subgroup (chaotic is my fav song of theirs), annnnnddd they slayed that cherry bomb dance cover. even tho i think what happened w them was kind of inevitable (and chuu especially didnt deserve that) im glad it seems to sort of halfway mostly worked out for them because the girls are talented!

*yes yes i know nct fan saying a group has too many members lol

[trashimoto]

Im telling you as iconic and hillarious as riverdale is it really fucking kicked reboot culture into high gear. I feel like it really popularized the idea of like… “a reboot doesnt have to be accurate at all to the sourcw material” which is objectively not true? Idk RAS is in a strange position where he not only is an archie author but alsoa. Huge archie fan but still made the show like that. I think that people dont really usually know this or fully undersrand that or get how mant ridiculously obscurw refwrences are in that show. Not to say its a “good” show i dont actively watch it and i think it has its fair share of problems considering fuckign RAS wrote it, if youve read afterlife with archie then you know this guy os just WEIRD. I think that people took ita popularity and were like okay now were gonna make edgy reboots of everything and have them not relate back to the source material bc riverdale was so popular. Which is silly because like its not like Mindy Kaling is some like devout scooby doo fan. Why scooby doo? The answer for “why archie” for riverdale at least can be explained by Well its made by a guy whos been writing archie media for decades even before he worked for them (see archies weird fantasy), he writes archie horror for the company, and the juxtaposition of fucking Normal ass archie comics with the most insane ahit ever IS pretty funny. Thats why its so quotable. But like its not like the average person knows any if this shit they jist know Hey that riverdale show used the archie chaeacrers for unrelated shit we should do that with other shows!! But like…with shows like these youre always going to be eliminating a huge part of your audience which is people who are faithful fans of the original source. Of course not everyone, but also at the same time probably every archie fan that i know who likes riverdale either started watching it ironically or likes it ironically to some degree. Again this isnt a discussion on whether its “good” or not, but like at least with riverdale even tho normal classic archie likers are going to be much harder to get to like the shwo based, RAS is a huge afchie fan so he puts in a lot of tiny super specific archie media references as well which is pretty fucking insane. But like its not gonna work qith anything else. Hell its debatable whether it even worked for riverdale because like archie fans dont interact with it the same way genuine non archie riverdale fans do. Archie fans who like riverdale think its camp and it is. You were attacked by a friggin bear? Anyways like Velma isnt gonna have that same appeal nor will any orher stupid reboot like that bc it doesnt have that passion. Its not like Mindy Kaling made a gay scooby doo musical and got sent a cease and desist. Idk rambly but like i feel like a lot of tbis reboot culture really was sparked by riverdalw and they dont understand why that ahow has the cult following that it does

[hali-buut]

the creator of FNAF (markiplier) referenced jerma985 when creating the munch of ‘87

with diagrams

ok, that is a wild claim you ask. you got any cold-hards facts to back that crazy shit up? have any wacky and possibly insane claims that’ll blow my mind and also prove the crazy sentence that is apparently a title? have any potential ground breaking pieces of information that’ll back up, beyond a doubt, that i am in-fact telling the truth

yes, i do

in the 6th tf2 comic (The Naked and the Dead), scouts personification of capital g God (who is definitely, 100% accurate) claims scout dies 4/12/87. this places him at the age of around 40 when he died.

{image id: scout busts it down sexual style while walking down a set of golden stairs surrounded by clouds, behind him a man wearing a white cloth tied at the waist surrounded by winged babys (uber-rare variation on the regular baby) says “see you december 4th, 1987”, scout replies “its a date! later, guys!”}

back to the ‘87 part, where have we heard that number before?

within the very (very) extensive fnaf lore, a little known date known as “the munch of ‘87”. some may even call this munch a bite. point is, this “munch of ‘87” occurs in the exact year scout dies, coincidence?

“nay!” you shout “it cannot be, all you have given is a simple connection, nothing more!” you jest. “they should call you lie mcfakeingson, because you are a fraud!” you continue.

{image id: a stupid and probably smelly peasant eating a potato shouts “nay” to my claims. they will be proven wrong shortly}

but you’re wrong, thats only the entrance to the rabbit hole

scouts real name (also again mentioned in The Naked and the Dead) is Jeremy. the crazy, indisputable connection may not be revealed to some but those in the know understand that the suspected victim of the “munch of ‘87” is none other than a security guard known as

*drumroll sound echos throughout tightly packed business room*

Jeremy Fitzgerald!

thats right, not only does scout and ol’ fitzgerald share the same death year, but also the name name!

*among the audience inside this rather cramped and ill smelling business room a small clap is heard*

thank you, thank you. im sure its hard to grasp the idea that not only is tf2 and fnaf connected, but that the victim of the “bit… munch of ‘87” is none other than the scout!

{image id: a shitty image of a scout doing the schadenfreude taunt (that promised that it didn’t have a background, but lied) getting munched on by that bitch mangle, the prime suspect for the “munch of ‘87”. blood pours out of scouts now munched on head, scout exclaims “oh no, im fucking dead” while that cold, heartless bitch of an animatronic (mangle) mechanically states “munch”}

so, how does this all connect back to the titular jerma985? well its understood that both scout and jerma are one and the very same, both originally the same being. this holds same with all other naturally occurring jermas, this is jerma lore basics here please do understand. all jermas share a shame mind, origin and essence.

{image id: a white square titled “a small selection of some of the many naturally occurring jermas”, on it reside a quirked up white boy busting it down sexual style and getting goated with the sauce (jerma doing the face), tumblr sexyman and also mentally insane serial killer patrick bateman, sempai from fnf, mentally insane salesman spamton, and finally probably mentally insane actor william dafoe}

they might take over the world someday however idk. but would it really be a bad thing if the entire world was jerma’s domain?

[shinraapologist]

light novel reread, vol. 1 ch. 9

this is a HUGE chapter, not necessarily length wise, but in plot and relevance and personal interest. i have a lot to say about it.

this is the first instance in the series of narita playing with nonlinear storytelling. i have my gripes about narita, but his writing is incredible. the way he weaves narratives together to form one cohesive story is absolutely masterful. the complexity he works with amazes me. i love the amount of absurdity and fun he allows into his prose and his plots while still not being afraid to go dark with his subject matter, without ever going so dark that it ever feels too voyeuristic (altho that could be the target audience of teen/young adults) (ya disease even). narita is a huge influence to my own writing style.

neither namie or seiji are done any justice in the anime. i love the anime dearly, but on my second more in depth read of the novels (so far) i cant help but notice how much was lost in the animation. something i think frequently, and will likely bring up again later in the series, is that i think the anime deserves a reboot. my proposed drrr reboot would be four seasons (24 or so eps each) following the 3 light novels to a season format of the 2010 release. (for anyone who hasnt read the novels, season one covers the events of volumes one to three while x2 follows volumes four to thirteen; it does break the season into three with the shou/ten/ketsu format, but theres just way too much to cover well in 36 episodes.) i absolutely love the pacing and charm of the 2010 release, to be honest.

i love this passage about shooter and celty. its something else that doesnt quite translate to the anime. in one of the later authors notes of the series, when the 2010 release was announced, narita mentioned that either he or a fan expressed concern over the novels translating well to an animated format. while i do love the anime and think it's a decent (and even at times incredible) adaption of the source, i think drrr truly shines in its original format.

theyre best friends, your honor.

shizaya shippers.... you guys know they got forced to go on sushi dates right? like i dont tend to see many shizaya posts or actively seek them out so i have no idea if this is common knowledge but its driving me insane. they canonically got forced to go on sushi dates. and get threatened by simon.

theres just so much to say. theres so little to say because it says itself. if anyone could truly understand celty besides shinra, its shizuo. two monsters, both struggling with their own desire to fit in with others. i absolutely adore shizuo, nearly as much as i love celty and shinra, and now that he's added to the story you're gonna have to hear me say a lot about him.

(mikas in pajamas because she broke out of the yagiri lab earlier, shes barely recovered from surgery probably) this is how celtys face is described in the novel.

seiji stabbed shizuo in the ass by the way

theyre best friends, your honor. every time you see shizuo slap his face in the anime, hes drunk as fuck.

shinra, about to lie blatantly to celty: im not honest, sincere, or wise. but you are! love you babe <3 celty: wait you like me?

the only thing really stopping celty from wanting to be with shinra right now is her insecurities. something i love about their relationship is that celty knows shinras full of shit, and she doesnt tolerate it, while at the same time never genuinely seeming particularly bothered by it. the times we see her most agitated with him, its because he's either pushing a subject he knows he shouldnt or because she's overwhelmed or flustered by his abysmal flirting. she knows hes a lying morally bankrupt little asshole and shes like. but wait. i dont have a head how could you even like me

celty, while being plagued by the deeply human emotions of anxiety and self doubt, still isn't sure whether she truly feels emotions. she's so horribly self unaware. i love her.

celty has such a pleasing character arc coming to accept herself and her emotions. theres a scene in sh where celty has a very celty-esque little anxiety meltdown and startles a few characters, but mizuchi, the protagonist, is described as "long since having to come to terms with how truly human celty was".

i guess i had a lot to say about this chapter because i have a lot to say about shinra and celty (and shizuo) at any given moment. so far, this has been my favorite chapter of volume one.

[nialltlynch]

five favorite fics that I've written (for writer appreciation day)

tagged by kat @sleepy-skittles thank u thank u 😘😘

5. in the garden sleeps a messenger — one of two non birdverse fics ive posted!! the target audience for this fic was me, twenty some odd years ago. ((love u bitch 🥰🥰)) anyway. edea and seifer have Thee Most Interesting Dynamic. it is insane to me how little there is about them. theres mommy issues. theres a highly problematic age gap. theres a concerning power dynamic. theres a hot evil milf with a banger aesthetic. theres the time loop or whatever the fuck was going on there. succession of witches defined my life for over a decade. seifer is into petplay i know this i know this. theres SO MUCH to explore here and it's all so underutilized in the game. this fic honestly does not even begin to get into but i consider it a decent first exploration and hopefully when i have time and energy i can do it a bit more justice. as it is though i really enjoy it!!

4. without a me there is no you —

She has the same blush rounding her cheeks and the same quiet, nervous laughter as the young Mór many years ago who muffled her kisses on Niall's mouth.

this bit was floating around in my head with perfectly clarity when i woke up one day and i immediately wrote out about six hundred words surrounding it on my phone before getting out of bed. im really interested in the implications of niall dreaming a docile sweet mannered replacement wife and i thought it would be interesting to explore it a bit from mór's perspective because she would be so impossibly biased. also thought it would be interesting if she fucked above mentioned replacement. this was my first time really trying to inhabit mór which, let me tell you, is really hard when the only canon information is scraps.

3. ambilevous — oh handcat fic, my weird little brain worm. all my fics are elaborate, long overstayed jokes in one way or another but this one i wrote specifically because the concept was just sooooo silly to me. absolutely absurd. certified kk comedy hour. it is, in usual fashion, a thinly veiled exploration of the more fucked up lynch family dynamics and how the barns arent quite what they seem but of course it is.

2. smoke alarms, smoke — my first exploration of the lynch family 🥰 it means a lot to me. i love this fic. the idea of the barns as a beautiful fairy tale ending had always rubbed me the wrong way and of course i love the slow desolation of locations through those that inhabit it which, really, what is the barns if not a haunted house waiting to happen. thats the part thats lacking (unfortunate!!) but i did get to write declan as a sad sad little kiddy which is one of my few life joys. i loved it when i wrote it and i love it now (which is saying a lot). while it isnt everything i want it to be i do very much love what it is!

1. it's a gift to be simple, it's a gift to be free — my aurora character study and probably the best thing ive written thus far...maybe ever. i honestly have no idea what the fuck i was on when i wrote this but god i wish i could get it back. some of my personal favorite prose comes from this fic. its a very personal fic in that i centered the emotional core on some of my own life bullshit. stylistically i owe so much of this fic to catherine valente's comfort me with apples which i had read around then (as if it wasnt obvious). i had already been thinking about aurora and her role in the lynch family but reading that helped solidify the tone i really wanted. this is another fic i sat down, wrote, and edited all in one night. i think if i hadn't posted it then it would've languished in editing hell so im very happy with what i put out.

oh and the recurring knife thing was because i was having feelings about knife maintenance, as one does. (if anyone wants me to come over and sharpen their kitchen knives and make you dinner lmk)

ive seen this passed around and lost track of who's already done it so if you would like participate then i am tagging you now. enjoy ((:

[sleepyyghostt]

i might be insane for saying this but i am actually very glad i watched morbius instead of batman today. 

like it wasnt “good”, probably. well im assuming at least, its not like i thought abt the plot a single time while watching, but i DID have the time of my life. i guess leading up to this i had made the foolish mistake of forgettring the fact that i am the one only single person on this planet within the target audience for this movie. hholy shit. i lovw this little guy thgis guyyyy omg hes My Guy. 2019 me hyperfixating on comics morbius for one week and being changed as  aperson ever since forever had the right idea. i nneeeeedddd to throw rocks at him, lovingly. llliterally this guy was built to my stupid tastes so damn perffectly whadda hell. hhoooh. wow,. spent the whole movie giggling like a schoolgirl kickinglegs twirls hair hiiiiiiiiiiiomg. but not in a attracted to him way. like in a i want to hit him with a rock (positive) way. wait i already saidf that. u know what i mean.the morbius madness returms 

[kyu-bri]

PMMM Medieval AU

Ok I've been Checked Out of the Meduka Meguca fandom recently but last night during a 11hr post-work week sleep I dreamed up a balls to the wall insanely intricate AU, because my subconcious is ever more creative than my waking self.

A TLDR role list and under the cut I will ramble and speculate in detail:

SAYAKA: An ex squire Knight trainee whose new mission is to overthrow the fucking monarchy after its corrupt rule led to the deaths of her friends. Now seducing an established Knight woman to help her on the inside while she recruits peasants for her rebellion.

MAMI: A rich snobbish merchant, rolling in wealth from inheriting both her dead parents businesses. She too is looking to overthrow the monarchy but is at odds with Sayakas faction because her plan is to become ruler herself.

KYOKO: a thief with brooding backstory. Mami recruits her to do her dirty work behind the scenes to keep her social standing clean.

MADOKA: A young training Goddess of Hope who fell from the moon. She has come to enthusiastically stop all the warring drama and devious plotting. She is in way over her head.

HOMURA: when Madoka fell she brought with her only a magical talisman that would bring one corpse to life to be her right hand. While looking for a noble muscular soldier Madoka tripped and dropped it into an open grave resurrecting a sickly peasant girl. Homura now worships Madoka and they are best friends who are in way over their heads.

Now me screaming trying to decipher my own subconscious:

GOD this AU is so ME. Sayaka going feral and living her best life kicking ass and a catty mean girl Mami countering her specifically. Kyoko poised to compliment, counter and even them out. Oh and MadoHomu are Cute and In Love. If that isnt the core of all of my AUs-

Sayaka was absolutely nuts in this though. My brain didn't spare Kyosuke or Hitomi so much as a cameo but so they're free to be the only reasonable cause for this. Im thinking Kyosuke was ailing as per usual and all that canon drama was the Same but Medieval.

So I'm thinking Sayakas all set to cope with Hitomi financing some lifesaving Medieval leech centric surgery or something before the Evil King whose color scheme is White And Maroon decides to execute Hitomis family for something petty. Hitomi is tragically killed right before Sayaka. Leaving Kyosuke to go shortly after and Sayaka to swear off the monarchy and all traditional law. Withdrawing from her training to be a knight to Be Gay And Do Crime.

Mamis role is both hilarious and perfect. In the dream she didn't do much besides bribe Kyoko and Anime Princess Laugh, but then Madoka was lore dumping (because yes, I DREAMED Madoka explaining LORE to Homura for the audiences (my) benefit.) And she said that Mami was possessed by a Demon of Greed. I'm thinking we could also say a desperate grieving Mami made some sort of deal with it asking for the ability to manage her parents legacy and it's resulted in her becoming the Onceler instead.

Madoka also mentions Kyoko has been scared away from her God bc of humans' actions. Ie she was the holy dutiful priests daughter and then Shit Hit The Fan but Medieval Flavored. The dream legit shows her God was Jesus so I'm declaring the dude God of Redemption, which is a very Kyoko Thing to boot.

While my brain didn't give me any KyoSaya Content tm they're in the perfect position for their epic Rivalry Turned Eternal Companions. Kyoko would be who Mami sends to fuck w Sayaka. Sayaka having probably trying to recruit Mami to her cause before realizing Mamis The Fucking Onceler and inspiring her to create a Rival Gang Of King Hating Rebels.

I'm picturing Sayakas plan fucking up in just the way Kyoko once mocked her that it would and all of Sayakas fight leaving her. As epic as her role is seducing the enemy to benefit her is very Unlike Her, so while the dream poised her as a power couple with the random blond knight lady I'm saying nnnno. And that the arrangement is fitfully miserable and dangerous. Sayaka used to be a loyal hopeless romantic and the Evil that's been committed against her and and those she loves has forced her to harden herself into someone else to be able to fight it.

But while Sayakas in Inevitable Peril and lamenting all of her mistakes and tragedy Kyokos there, fully able to escape but instead of course is like "no fuck that fuck this take my hand dreams come true lets give this nightmare a happily ever after." And its gay.

This would probably pit them both against Mami now but knowing me it would absolutely solve it with gay. And probably a bit of exorcism from Madoka. I theorized briefly if Mami would be a singular tragic death bc she cant be freed bc i liked the idea of tiny baby trumpet blower Nagisa slitting the Evil rich ladies throat and that being the only way to free her from the demon was cool but unless I can give Madoka a second resurrection clause then i would just exorcise her with Homosexuality and Friendship and a bit of Fairy Dust.

Meanwhile with Madoka and Homura they were just off still being cute and oblivious in the dream. I think the dream wanted her to be The One True God but she then shows all the personality traits of Naïve Angel In Training, so bc of the mythology already surrounding her I'm saying thinks a society where Literal Concepts Are Still Being Born and Madoka is the first inkling of Hope that Homosexuality and Friendship can fight Medieval Capitalism on its own.

She's just this bright white and pink pastel glowing entity skipping through a dark dreary forest graveyard looking for soldiers graves to ressurect somebody noble and powerful, gathering twigs in her long Repuntzel hair, when she trips and drops her talisman on a homeless orphan who died of the plague or some shit.

Bonus points to the idea that Madokas supposed to be able to reuse it but bc Homura died of sickness she just dies again right away and Madoka doesn't wanna be mean.

So Homura worships this glowing self positioned manic pixie dream girl bc shes definitely never felt hopeful in her life and so this glowing pastel goddess and drab zombie girl begin a road trip to where the actual plot of the story is happening. Because the moon dropped Madoka like inconveniently far away ig.

And so is the skeleton of a fabulous AU that I will probably not develop further but might make art for because my subconscious brain Also has AMAZING cinematography like when Madoka comes out of her moon all her hair flows out first so from earth it looks like a long pink gunshot through the moon which I suppose all the other characters would see and thus foreshadow their inevitable downfall to the powers of Homosexuality and Friendship and HOPE.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[imagineurfavs]

Pentagon Kino - Birth Chart Analysis

“Hi! love ur writing huhu do you think u could do a birth chart analysis thingy on kino from ptg??? ik hes an aquarius but he doesnt really seem like one??? sdfd thank u :)”

aaaaaah thank you so much for requesting this, ive been aching to write sth like this for ages lmao. i didnt know from which angle you wanted it, like relationships, sex or whatever so ima just do an overall kinda one. lmk if you want something more focused aha Also i agree lol, hyunggu doesn’t really seem like a straight up aquarius, i wish i knew what time he was born i could see his ascendant lmao ALSO. I’ve just done the first 6 placements as they seem to be the ones most people care about lmao, lmk if you want me to do the remaining ones

Sun (our true self, the soul) - Aquarius (1st Decan): This is what makes Hyunggu the social butterfly he is lol, what’s probably responsible for him being in so many different social circles. Aquarians have many many varied fields of interest, which usually end up being quite niche or “out there” lol, just like how Hyunggu, the 22 year old man in 2020, LOVES old school jazz music and classic movies. 1st decan Aquarians are (mostly) open books who really do shine more when they have an audience, or at least with a lot of people surrounding them. But with that being said, they're also totally happy to be in their own company bc they know themselves so well, they’re comfortable with themselves. They also have persistence like no other lol; when they set their mind to something, there’s no lengths they wont go to to achieve it. AKA Kino the workaholic who spends his life in the studio lol

Moon (emotions, instincts, our vulnerable side) - Capricorn: Much more emotional than people think, but he prefers to keep it private. He’ll only let his emotions out fully if he totally trusts the people he’s with. (the fact that unis have seen him cry numerous times is a testament to how much he trusts us ig sdgjsg so sweet) He loves taking care of people; he likes to feel needed. With that in mind though he can be a bit of a “fixer” lol which might not always be a good thing, he’s attracted to people who look like they need some help. One of the most devoted placements in terms of relationships, they aren’t ones that really go for one night stands or short fling type relationships. This placement makes him surprisingly traditional in relationships lol, like he loves homely warm kinda vibes in that sense. Likes to show off any relationship he does have though lol, like he wont air out any private details, but he does want the world to see how well yall are doing lol.

Mercury (How we communicate & express ourselves, intellect) - Capricorn: DONT EVER BREAK A PROMISE WITH HYUNGGU OMG. He’ll never forgive you. This boy takes promises so seriously, and takes any secrets with him to his grave. If he ever gives you his word on anything, you best believe he means it with every fibre of his being. Kino isn’t someone to mince his words, he always means what he says. He’ll still try his best to not hurt any feelings, but he won’t lie. This is what helps him follow through with all the ideas that he gets, he’s great at planning and knowing what’s worth seeing through to the end and what just wont work. Which is probably why everything he’s ever put out to the public is god tier shit lol, he wont spend time on anything less than perfection. Another placement that favours tradition, you wont ever catch him slipping up on any honorifics or social formalities lmao.

Venus (how we are in love & romance, creativity, what brings us joy)  - Capricorn: Kang Hyunggu perfect husband material confirmed. Capricorn is the sign that cares most about traditions and stuff in relationships. Not always like old school kinda traditions, but he cares greatly about anniversaries and stuff lol. Very cautious in love, he wont open up or admit his feelings easily and he wont even bother pursuing someone he doesn’t see at least somewhat of a future with. Insanely loyal and steadfast in love. He’s someone you can always count on no matter the time or place, and he wants someone who’ll do the same for him. He wants a fairy tale romance lol. He wants to be remembered for what he does, to leave a legacy that lasts forever. Big on validation, he loves to be complemented and revered; then he’ll feel like all the hours of work and effort he’s put in actually meant something lmao. 

Mars (sex, passion, anger, what drives us) - Pisces I feel like this placement is the reason why Hyunggu can get so mushy and emotional. Pisceans are totally driven by their emotions, sometimes to a fault. So when it comes to something that he’s so so passionate about: ie. Pentagon, his emotions can just totally overwhelm him and before we know it hes sobbing on national TV (im looking at u rtk...). Sex isn't something he takes lightly at all, if there’s no emotion or love involved, it just doesn’t feel right to him. He views sex as something that’s good for the soul lol, its very much an emotional thing for him, as opposed to just a physical need. Very much a hopeless romantic; the type to write poetry for their significant other and cry whilst they read it to you lmao. He’d really give his all to someone he loves, to him self sacrifice is the grandest gesture of love lol. Just remember that it was him who wrote Die For U...yeah...he’s very that. It’s all or nothing with Hyunggu lol, if he chooses to give you his heart, you’ll get his soul too. (Side note this might also be what makes him sensitive and sulky lol)

Jupiter (optimism, luck, philosophy & just good vibes lol) - Aquarius To me, this placement is what makes him so agreeable like, he accepts everyone no matter what. He doesn’t care about gender, race, orientation, religion, anything like that. If someone piques his interest, nothing else matters to him other than getting to know them. He’s always ready to question authority, to break away from the norm and try new things. If he wants to do something, he’s gonna do it the way he wants to, not necessarily the way he’s been told to do it. He’s not afraid to be different, he likes to be a bit of a pioneer lmao. Mostly enjoys being with a lot of people, he loves having many different personalities to bounce off of, ig he got lucky being put in such a large group lol. But he still likes to have his freedom; or more so he wants everyone to have their freedom, so he can for sure be a bit of a philanthropist. Lowkey wants to change the world for the better lmao

[sanstropfremir]

I absolutely LOVED reading your kingdom review. You gave me such an insight in things I never even considered, especially since our rankings are so different from each other. The Boyz was my favorite, the narrative was about RTK. How they felt bad for having to compete against their friends but eventually the groups only lifted each other up and it helped TBZ grow into the group they are now through the hardships and mental dilemma, falling into the next challenge right after they reached the top. It should have been more obvious though, I agree, it wasn't really visible for anyone who didn't know. I was wondering how you felt about the dancing in general? my reason for not ranking BTOB high was lack of choreo (and Peniel's verse), same goes for SF9. Mostly because I don't feel the hype when watching, it doesn't keep my focus on the stage. As a baby-performer myself, my goal is to make the viewer curious about what's next. is that the wrong way to look at it? that's what I've always been told, building the tension up and down to create focus. would love to hear your feedback on that! thank you so much for sharing, we need more reviews of people who actually know what they're talking about.

i'm glad that you got some insight from it! like i answered in the previous ask im here to hopefully bring some more depth and understanding for people that care and are curious!

you unintentionally proved my point about tbz’s performance: that is way too complicated! even the most talented solo dancers i can think of would have trouble distilling that down to something readable in 100 seconds, much less a group of like, a dozen people! the introductory stages are meant to show us the character of the group and their abilities in the most concise way possible, it's not the stage to do deep philosophical and emotional introspection. for a full stage? absolutely, go hog wild! but for this stage it was too ambitious and ultimately was ineffective to anyone that isn't a fan of them specifically. 

by dancing in general do you mean like, every group? i put most of my opinions on the dancing where i had them in each of the individual rankings but honestly? unless there is something that really stands out positively or negatively, a lot of ‘average’ kpop dance looks the same to me. i know it’s not, obviously, and if pressed i probably could do a more serious breakdown, but dance is only one element of performance. it has equal weight with all the others in my mind, and therefore i notice when it is either 

very good

does something unique

very bad, or

interferes with another element

which is the same as how i evaluate every element, if that makes sense. 

hmmmm. i thought about this a lot in the shower and turns out i had more opinions that i expected so i'll put them under a cut.

firstly, i don't think lack of choreo should be penalized or considered an ‘incomplete’ performance. at the end of the day, these are bands, and a part of their brand/product they sell is the music. complex choreo does not need to be attached to that to make it a successful performance. also, btob did have choreo. any movement on stage is technically choreography. but this terminology can cause confusion so usually non-dance choreo is referred to as ‘blocking.’ but they also did include the song’s original point choreo at 1.41. the blocking in their performance was well thought out and suited the arrangement, by placing spatial emphasis on each part of the song that needed it. obviously it comes down to personal taste if the performance is ultimately ‘successful,’ because all art is subjective, but just because something isn't as visually complex as something else doesn’t mean it doesn't have the same level of thought. think of it like this: one is a super clean-lined post-post-modern grey/white living room, and the other is a kitsch goth basement. both share interior design principles and have obvious care put into the space, but they are vastly different styles that appeal to different tastes.

part of the job of production designer/AD is to decide what gets emphasis. a question you're always asking yourself is ‘is this important to the story that we’re trying to tell?’ and btob/their AD made a very smart choice with their introductory stage because it says a lot about them and their abilities in a short amount of time. that stage said ‘our foundation is strong, we have the training and experience and confidence to be up here and not rely on visual tricks.’ because they know they physically cannot do the things the 4th gen groups can; they're a decade older and they only have four members, it's just not feasible. something you learn with experience is the power that specific and pointed emphasis holds, which segues into my answer to your last question. i don't necessarily think that ‘building hype’ is the wrong way to perform something, but i do think it is a flawed way to approach creating a performance.

i think that ‘hype’ is flawed concept at its core, and one that focuses on the idea that there’s always being something more, something next, beyond the work itself. now there’s nothing wrong with playing with tension within the internal structure of a piece, that's exactly how constructing a narrative happens. however, the flaws come once we extrapolate beyond the boundaries of that individual work. the idea of ‘whats next’ implies that you have to constantly be promoting, have a sequel coming, building hype etc so people will keep engaged with your work. which is deeply capitalistic in nature and operates on the assumption that art exists purely as a product to be sold. and in order to keep selling you need to keep making a bigger and better and more spectacular product. and this is not the case at all. marketability is not the essence of art, it merely a factor of creating it under this insufferable system. kpop in particular suffers from this because the industry is specifically fabricated to produce capitol. we can have discussions all day about idols and their artistic integrity but at the end of that day, they are all cogs working with a system that was specifically made up by essentially one person to be culturally exported and to just print buckets of money. so in following that train of thought, there is a constant attitude of bigger and better because shock value (whether positive or negative) gets social media attention and therefore it sells. and it has become exponentially easier (and also seemingly required) to make things that are bigger and better than ever before. i remember being blown away by the projection floor at the sochi 2014 olympics because something of that scale and complexity would never have been possible without literally having the funding of the olympics. now that technology is easily accessible to anyone with an amazon account and the time to learn how isadora works. in comparison, it took 2400 YEARS for just the job of a ‘theatre designer’ to be even become a job at all.

because of kpop’s fan culture it is especially prone to ‘hype’ behaviour. in general with the accessibility of the internet and social media, everything has turned into a competition, and who can generate the most buzz ‘wins’. but ultimately that has taken away the general public’s ability to recognize that you can enjoy something quietly and you can enjoy something slowly. that the enjoyment of something doesn’t need to be all exclamation marks and keysmashes and trending hashtags on twitter. there is value in a work engaging in an emotion within you that is not just excitement. most of the artists and companies that i consume the work of i don’t do so because their work makes me excited, i do so because i liked the experience of engaging with that work. several years ago i saw the eternal tides by legend lin dance theatre, which you can watch a really short clip of here. that is not slow motion, that is actually how slow the dancers are moving. and 90% of the show is performed like that. and its two hours long. and it was one of the most incredible performances i've ever seen. if i ever get the chance I will go see another one of their shows again, not because i care about how they can top that experience i had, but because i know they can produce that experience, and that is enough to make me want to seek them out again. the speed of the internet has also loosened the general public’s understanding of just exactly how long creating a performance work can take. the lead dancer in the eternal tides was with the company for eight years before she and the piece were ready enough to be performed. large scale operas, musicals, and plays often have a year or more of pre-production before they even get to rehearsal. smaller theatre companies workshop new pieces for years at a time. performance is hard and it takes time. you can eliminate some of that with sheer amounts of money and people, which is what the kpop industry has done, but it speeds up the cycle of consumption to a degree that is not sustainable, especially for companies and creators who do not have that kind of access. performers and performance makers often don't put enough trust in their audiences. if they like what they see, they will come back. they dont need to be constantly bombarded with content at all times.

now that i’ve said a bit about why i think hype is a flawed concept, let's bring it back to kingdom. sf9 did something very interesting with their stage in that they actively chose to limit their dance time. and this plays very well off the performance film stage that taeyang did a couple of weeks ago. taeyang is talented and confident (for good reason), and his solo was incredible. but when it came to the intro stage, instead of trying to one-up the solo stage, the group instead said ‘well people are going to be looking at us because taeyang is insanely talented, so let's show them that we ALL have the confidence and the attitude to be up here.’ no need for flashy theatrics, they had the foresight to do something that would make them stand out from the rest of the groups. even if i was just casually watching the stages without doing any analysis on them (like i did for rtk), i would still be able to distinguish them because they had the stones to stand around for half their stage time. now i recognize them and would like to see what else they can do. same principle as what btob and also what ikon did. there is a fine line between anticipation and hype that gets equated in media consumption nowadays, but the two are not the same.

i think the tldr on this is that you dont need to ‘build hype’ or ‘go all out’ to make an interesting work. just focus on telling the narrative that you want to tell, and the people that recognize that will come. i could have a lot more things to say about peoples shrinking attention spans and the constant stream of information that we consume on a daily basis that devalues the labour done by artists in the eyes of the public and promotes hustle culture that is burning out and damaging creators at a rate that is both exponential and frightening, but that’s probably for another time, because this is SO LONG

[teruthecreator]

what really pushed you to write SSOSS? :3 also how did you come up with the idea for the story? :>

UM so the first question actually comes in like, two different parts?? or i guess the two questions sort of overlap (jesus christ readmore i didnt realize i would talk this much LMAO)

so the concept of the on the run/western aspect of it came from a voice call in the friendzone but it was just me, matthew ( @accesscodex ) and corinne ( @maplekeene ). matt was just kind of There while me and corinne were spitballing ideas for aus that would be fun. 

we thought of a western because it just seemed like an interesting route to take the characters in (also very heavily inspired by that one textpost thats like “it werent the whiskey what he were tryin to savor”, which ill get back to later). this was sometime after the episode where the thundermen fight the demons in last hope and escape by pegasi (i Think thats either ep 17 or 18), and i think i mentioned how it would be interesting if they took that moment to like. completely run away from the school. i dont think any of us really thought they would go back and talk to grey??? so we were thinking how the story could go without the school involved anymore, and so that’s where the on the run aspect came from. i then took the two ideas we were discussing (on the run and a western) and crashed them together to be like “hey! what if they ran away and then started new lives out west!” 

it was never an idea i thought was going to be taken that seriously, but matt (as he always is) is an enabler with his art and he started drawing the boys in cowboy designs. This was the moment i knew i wanted to do Something with the idea, since it was hot on everyone’s mind. 

the base idea (basically the first chapter) was based on a comic matthew would then post earlier in the day (on the day that i wrote chapter 1) that was based on the “it werent the whiskey what he were tryin to savor” textpost. i will link the updated comic here ur welcome matthew for not posting the older version bc i know you hate it now. this was the only reason i wanted to write ssoss. because i wanted to hurt matthew and, subsequently, everyone else in the friendzone. 

and, honestly?? ssoss was only supposed to be about 2-3 chapters At Most. i Tried to do it all in one sitting, which is why the first chapter ended up being like 10k words!!! but i was getting burnt out and i got WAYYYYY too in-depth about How they escaped, so i felt having that short of a moment in the actual western part wasn’t enough. so then i announced in the notes of the first chapter that i would likely make a second and maybe a third chapter and have that be it. i had never written a really long fic before and i knew (w my history of unfinished but published wips) that i probably couldnt sustain myself for something longer than 4 chapters. 

now, how the hell did i get here--8 chapters deep and over 100k words in the hole???? i honestly have no idea!!! the rest of the story has come from a number of places. the early plot beats were establishing moments for the characters on their own and together (some things i Did take from me and corinnes dms bc early on we talked abt it A Lot together, he knows what he contributed). i have trouble outlining things bc i feel as if it kills the motivation, so for the most part i would let ideas simmer in my head until i couldnt take it anymore and then write them all down. then, once i ran out of ideas (usually i come into a Writing Day with about 1-3 scenes thought of), i sit and talk aloud to myself about how the chapter should flow from there. one thing about me is i usually have the first and last scene Already decided when i sit down, so the rest is a matter of deciding how we get from point A to point B without making the whole chapter a wash. 

i wish i could say there’s a method to my madness, but i honestly don’t know how i do it. since the moment i decided i wanted this to be way longer, i Have had a sense of the flow of plot. characters arcs i work on throughout writing (in fact i remember the day i had the epiphany about Argo’s epiphany, if yknow what i mean coughcoughchapter4endingcough, and how that ended up changing the rest of his following scenes). 

also the ending i had No idea what it was going to be until LITERALLY when i was writing chapter 8. i had an epiphany and wrote down an outline of it so i wouldnt lose track of those thoughts. and the ending DID change because of actual graduation canon!!!! maybe one day i will reveal what the original ending was going to be, though i honestly kept my orig idea and just built stuff around it to make it work. 

honestly, ssoss has been one of my greatest exercises in motivation and storyplanning. i don’t Plan much but i do think about the story CONSTANTLY, and it helps that i have a pretty decent memory!!!! there are scenes i’ve had to either cut or move because of either time (aka when its getting close to midnight on a writing day and im literally going insane) or just the scene no longer working w the flow of the chapter, which i’ve learned is par for the course!! sometimes ya gotta cut stuff.

also in terms of pushing myself to keep writing it? audience feedback/hype really does help me!!!! seeing my friends and random people freak out about updates is honestly like. the Reason i wanna write more bc it’s just so cool and humbling to see people appreciate my work!!!! i’ve never had like a “fandom famous” fic before, and tho i wouldn’t put myself at the level of fame Other taz writers have gotten, i’m pretty happy with my lot!!!!