#ill fix it back tomorrow
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feelo-fick · 4 months ago
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HEY
HAVE MY (STILL VERY SHORT BUT WORKING ON IT BUT ALSO ITS 11 PM AND I WANNA POST THIS RIGHT NOW) CHILAIOS PLAYLISTS 🔥🔥🔥🔥
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skunkes · 3 months ago
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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beatupcorpse · 10 months ago
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I found my very first sketch of Jay w hanahaki after my friend Jem told me about their hanahaki au. I guess u could say it was like. the prototype of the full comic
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galaxythedragonshifter · 1 year ago
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I have a copy of Minecraft: Story Mode season 2 LETS GOOOOO
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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family outing
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puppet-purgatory · 2 years ago
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sory i didnt tell u this account is on 24/7 god brainrot lockdown :/ its the mental eelness u must understand
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ashersbraincell · 9 days ago
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Ready for the Winter Quest?
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outfoxt · 1 month ago
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there need to be more hours in the day
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago
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...
#ugh. im so tried. why is crying so exhausting? i havent done anything. this is bullshit#we went from a slow motion breakdown to full on freakout meltdown today#luckily no one was around in the lab this morning bc i couldnt stop crying#so i went to the counseling center and made myself their problem#canceled my committee meeting. which everyone tells me is fine. its all fine#think about going home for a while they say. maybe tell ur dad ur having a bad time thry say#but im so tired. and i dont kno what to do and its all falling apart#i just feel like im brushing up against the limits of what i can do intellectually and its like well where do i go from here?#what do i do with my old data? how do i move my project forward? whats the point of any of this?#why did i put myself in this position? would taking a leave even help? id still have to come back to the same mess#its just so frustrating bc theres no solution ill find satisfying. everything just sucks.#idk what my advisor even told my committee. bc we were supposed to meet tomorrow morning. ugh. it would have been so bad#it also sucks bc im so drained that i can just feel my own weight when im trying to talk to ppl#like u kno when ur being a wet blanket but u dont kno how to fix it. like srry my vibes r wretched. maybe im just stuck like this#i dunno. my dad invited us home for a week in july and also plans to come out to visit me in August. but that seems like a long time away#i dunno what im gonna do. what a disaster#unrelated
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mars-0326 · 4 days ago
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batcavescolony · 2 years ago
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I feel like people make too many 'Batman beats up the mentally ill/poor people' jokes and they've forgotten that Batman/Bruce Wayne DOES care about people, so I've decided to share one of my favorite old Batman comic issue so far
It's from 1937 Detective Comics #53 (tw for suicide attempt) (obviously it's from 1937 some bits are dated)
This comic opens with Bruce talking with a reporter friend of his who believes Gotham is "A cold and heartless place" where " everybody rushes about not caring at all about anybody else". Bruce says he's wrong and he wishes he could prove it to him.
Later Batman is patrolling at his favorite haunt, the waterfront, and he sees a lady jump off the pier trying to kill herself. Obviously he's Batman so he jumps in to save her.
He gets her back to the shore, calms her down and asks her why she would jump off the pier, She ends up telling him. Her name is Viola Vane, she is originally from a small town, and she came to Gotham to make it as a actress but it's hasn't worked out as she hoped. But the problem being she told her parents she was doing great but now they are coming to see her and she doesn't want to break theirs hearts.
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Now Batman being Batman, and being able to kill two birds with one stone, decides to help her.
The rest of the night Batman goes around the city telling people about Viola's problem. He goes to nightclub after nightclub, he goes to the radio station, he goes to the news paper, and they all agree to help.
Obviously she'll need an escort (because it's the 30s idk) so he asks of anyone knows someone and a guy offers up the "bit lazy but wealthy and good looking" Bruce Wayne
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The man says Bruce will be perfect. Batman thinks it'll work because he can watch over her without being Batman, so he says he'll get Bruce Wayne to be her escort.
As Bruce he goes to meet her, takes her to get ready and everyone gets into character, giving her a suite, clothes, furs and jewelry. Bruce tells her about the plan.
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The next day her parents come and they meet up with Viola and Bruce. They go around the city and then end up at a Nightclub where everyone is in on the charade
They make it's seem like Viola is the guest of honor, applauding her and shining the spot like on their table.
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(There's a subplot about someone trying to steal the stuff in Viola's room, if you wanna read it all go read if for yourself)
But the next night Batman went as far as to get Viola the staring roll in a show in the theater she was an understudy for.
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It ends with Viola getting the lead in the show, her parents being none the wiser of Gotham little charade to make Viola appear as a star and Jim learning Gotham has heart
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vampmilf · 3 months ago
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barely an hour at work and already on the brink of another breakdown i need to quit this fucking job and/or perhaps kill myself
#my boss told me i work too much overtime and i agree but also i am literally the only trained person on kitchen and unless we're fully#booked im alone and have to do everything myself and if theres a task i cant finish its waiting there for me tomorrow to pick back up plus#literally everything else bc everything in this hotel is fucking broken so i cant even do everything on time like this fucking dishwasher is#now broken for the what?? tenth time this summer???? hello???? so the dishes keep piling up and up and up and i have to do them later#whenever the technician shows up but that all goes toward extra time that i cant do certain tasks#pkus the night guard is incompetent as fuck every single morning theres so many mistakes i need to fix and i always have to clean up his#parts as well bc he never finishes breakfast on time and then leaves the kitchen looking like a mess#and the buffet looks like shit bc even though i tell him a million times how hes supposed to put things he keeps doing them differently and#BADLY on top of that so the buffet looks like someone just threw up some food on it in random order like i cant keep coming an hour early#just to hold your hand through the process of putting prepared food in the designated spaces youve been here for a month now at some point#youre gonna have to be able to fucking do this every time i come an hour early thats an hour i work longer every day bc of course all the#cleaning up after breakfast is done doesnt get any shorter#and then on top of THAT apparently im now responsible for ordering shit for the entire hotel and running meetings and oh yeah im also#supposed to watch over reception tomorrow WHILE doing breakfast. fantastic. thats gonna go so well i cant wait 👍🏻#and im also working on sunday btw. so cool. bc clearly im so well adjusted and also mentally stable that i dont need a weekend or whatever.#and its fully booked with one of the most important businesses in town so like no pressure no pressure#and of course the boss is on vacation bc she somehow is always on vacation during the busiest days which is also so cool of her to do#also did i mention no one is ever gonna love me and ill die alone bc i only fall for people i can never be with#but also thats cool and chill and i dont even care 👍🏻
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skenpiel · 2 years ago
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SOME STUPID TROLLSONA DOODLES !?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? except most of them are @eebie trollsona.................. well wghatever -_- hi eebie
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actual-changeling · 1 year ago
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good god my sleep schedule is fucked, 6:30 am and my meds should be kicking in but they're not and i really need to fix this
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0809sysblings · 5 months ago
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OCs back from the dead?!!?!? (NOT CLICKBAIT)
earlier this week I came up with Undercover lyrics for my 003, masashi
もう全てを失っ���  腕利きでもなら、片終��りだけ
"I've already lost everything / Even if you play your hand right, there's only one way it ends"
I wanted to make sure I also kept the theme of the prisoner's trial 1 song titles being in the lyrics (as well as keep the syllables to an amount that would fit the beat And make it rhyme [which I mean. granted. the latter being really not that difficult in Japanese so GFVJJFK])
in my head, I've had masashi's trial 1 song as "Right Hand". in English at least. then I came up with the title in Japanese being "片腕", which could mean "one arm" or "one's right-hand man"/"one's right hand", in which I was going for the latter definitions.
the kanji incorporated into the lyrics Did end up getting separated and are part of two different words but ... hey they're still there right <3. also it's funny, I didn't even mean to have the undercover lyrics switch the two words and two kanji in the same way (hand being before right, and 腕 [hand] coming before 片[""right""][in the lyrics it's actually tied to the part that translates as "one" but. lol]), so it was really cool that it worked out that way :3.
but now for the actual thing I wanted to share. I was like "damn I really wish I could somehow edit the song myself to see how it'd actually sound". and then I remembered it was Very Possible to do that just using. you know. Vocaloids. and that there was definitely an ust/vsq out there of Undercover that I could download and edit to do That Very Thing. except I don't have vocaloid. so I just used the free version of SynthV. which I like the SynthV voices better anyway so yippeeee!
I kinda wanna try to mess with the second part of the verse to see if I can make it sound a little clearer and not as rushed (I could possibly get rid of the で in 腕利きでもなら. I don't think it's necessarily needed to get the meaning across ((but what do I know lol. I'll need to do some research and studying))), but.. for now I think it sounds pretty okay 👍
teto my beloved ❤️✨🥰😍💝💕❤️
I used an already tuned vsq, but like I did have to edit like 70% of it myself since I changed the lyrics and also converting the files into the format synthv uses (svp? right? can't remember if that's correct rip) can kinda .. fuck with things a little. especially if you don't know what you're doing (me).
here's the source and credit for the ust/vsq: ✦
anyway just wanted to share this bc I guess I thought it was cool and am a little happy/proud of it :3. even if the free version of SynthV kinda Fucking Sucks and has a bunch of limitations :/...
also to share the ust/vsq for if anyone wants to try to do something like this themself for Their OCs/OCgram <3
now time to come up with lyrics for 004, 005, and 006 because this is fun--
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solplease · 2 months ago
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random boost of happiness so now i can do everything bc yeah why not! so wish me luck bc im about to do that assignment.
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