#wanted 2 get these out of my head bc im leaving home tomorrow and i might not be back for weeks

[skenpiel]

SOME STUPID TROLLSONA DOODLES !?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? except most of them are @eebie trollsona.................. well wghatever -_- hi eebie

[st0ryf1lms]

home, that's a weird word ➳ ken sato

pairing: ken sato x reader

word count: 1.5k

genre/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, undertones of xenophobia, basically how i interpreted the last thing kenji said to ami on their first interview, grammatical errors (most likely), no beta we die like men, personal assistant!reader

synopsis: the word "home" always left a weird taste in kenji's tongue when he said it.

a/n: AAAAAAAA I'VE FINALLY WRITTEN A THOUSAND WORD FIC AFTER 2 YEARS IM SO HAPPY!!! and i'm really hoping u guys like this bc i really am so proud of this sooo enjoyyy!!

It had been a long day, as far as Kenji is concerned. Way too long for his liking. All the cameras and microphones pointed at his direction, all those flashing lights-- a man could only take a few for so long, and Kenji has had enough of his share for the day. As he gets off his bike, all he can think of is the comfort of his own bed, how his pillow would feel against his head and how the duvets would feel covering his skin.

He opened the door to his house, surprised to see you sitting on the couch with the living room lights turned off. Your back was facing him, and with your laptop's glaring LED screen being the only source of light in the room, all he could see was your crouched silhouette.

"Already settling down, huh, Y/N?" He spoke, breaking the silence in the room. "Oh, Mr. Sato, you're home," you say unfazed, as if the only thing that was powering you right now was your laptop's battery. "Just wanted to stay for a while to catch you so I can brief you for your schedule tomorrow." You stated, closing your laptop and standing up to turn on the lights on the dim setting. Kenji sighed and closed his eyes as he plopped down on the couch in front of you, serving as a signal for you to start.

"Okay, so, first thing in the morning, Mr. Sato, you have baseball practice which Coach Shimura insists you attend, an interview scheduled…" Your voice becomes buzzing in his head as he looks out the window, a view overlooking the city. The sound of laughter and joy drifting out from the street below, making him feel very alone in this somewhat new town. "…Sato. Mr. Sato. Are you even listening to a word I say?" You say exasperatedly, not sure if your asshat of a boss actually understands that you came from a 12-hour flight, too, and want nothing to be in the comfort of a nice and comfortable bed. You follow where his gaze is at, looking out the window where the busy streets of Tokyo are hustling and bustling as the nightlife slowly rises. You look back at your boss, sporting a solemn yet longing look on his face- earning a tilt of confusion from your head.

"Can I ask you a question, Y/N? Off the record, please." He asks, eyes remaining trained on the window. "Have you ever felt like you've never belonged? Like, no matter where you go, no matter who you are, you'll never find yourself home?" He finally looks at you, noticing your once tense figure now replaced with a relaxed yet calculating stance, figuring out what to say to him. The silence feels like forever as he awaits an answer from you, Kenji letting out a sigh as he hangs his head down low.

"Ever since I had moved to LA, I lost all sense of the word 'home.' Hah, even saying it right now leaves a weird taste in my tongue. All those kids back there, they always told me to 'go back home,' and when I did go back to the house where my mom and I lived, she'd always tell me that we were right at home. Now that I'm actually back in my 'homeland', it feels so weird to even call it that now." He blurted out, his previously relaxed figure on the couch is now one of a crouched one, his head still glued facing down on the floor. "In LA, I felt too Japanese to fit in. The culture shock hitting me every single time I try to do something I was used to. Now, here in Japan, I feel too American now to even call myself a local. Even speaking in my own tongue feels weird to my mouth and my throat."

He finally looked up at you and saw a blank yet somehow shocked expression adorning your face. His eyes slightly widened and his breath hitched in his throat as he quickly realized the gravity of his words and who he was speaking to about a sensitive topic. You, on the other hand, was internally slack-jawed. What the helllll, is this really happening???? You rhetorically think to yourself as your boss, The Ken Sato, the egotistical baseball superstar, literally just spilled his guts in front of you, his personal assistant whom he keeps at an arm's length.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" he stuttered as he racked his brain, trying to make up an excuse for what he said. You still stayed silent and eerily still. "A–are you still there? Hello? Earth to Y/N?" He asked, cautiously waving a hand.

"Yes," you cleared your throat, "yes, Kenji." You say, his contorted face relaxing as he hears his name slip your mouth. You clear your throat once again before starting.

"You know, if I may, I'd like to believe that home is a construct you make and that a place doesn't really define it. Sure, in kindergarten, we get taught that the definition of home is a place where you live in but as we get older, don't some things actually change? And I'd like to say that the word 'home' is one of those things. As a child, we would say home is where our parents live. As teenagers, we'd say home is with our friends as we laugh and joke with them on various different occasions of our lives at school. As adults, I believe we can be left to define 'home' what we fit it deem to our liking. After all, home is where the heart is, am I right?" You ramble on, pacing around the living room as you animatedly explain with your hands as Kenji follows your every move.

Realizing your mouth once again moved with a mind of its own, you straightened up and cleared your throat. "Ahem, sir. Right, well, I better get going. Long day tomorrow." You nervously chuckled, refusing to look your boss whose privacy you've seem to have invaded as you spoke without filter. You tentatively grab your things and slowly head to the front door, feeling your boss' eyes on you follow your every move as if saying you've overstayed your welcome.

As Kenji trains your every movement, he realizes what you're about to do and stands up abruptly from his place in the couch.

"Y/N, wait."

Your hand hovers above the door handle, eyes closed as you brace for the impact of what your boss is about to say. Please don't fire me, please don't fire me, please do-

"Do you mind if you stay the night?" He says and your head snaps back to look at him, as if he'd grown another head.

I- I mean, not like that, b- but, well… Well, you know what I mean." He sheepishly clarifies, his hand bringing up to scratch the nape of his neck. The silence is awkward and deafening, and he was about to open his mouth to take back what he said but you beat him to it.

"Sure. I'll stay the night, Mr. Sato." You face him with a soft smile.

"Please, Y/N, Kenji's fine."

He leads you to the spare bedroom he has in the house and asks Mina to deliver a fresh set of clothes where you'll stay.

"I just want to say thank you, Y/N. I know I don’t say it enough and I'm sorry for that. I appreciate everything you do." He sincerely told you, looking into your eyes with nothing but pure admiration and gratefulness. "It's all in the job, sir." You say before realizing, wincing as the honorific accidentally leaves your mouth. You open the bedroom door before saying,

"Good night, Kenji."

"Good night, Y/N."

BONUS:

Kenji wakes up to the noise of cooking downstairs, with a pair of voices talking back and forth. He rubs his eyes free of sleep and lifts the duvets off of him, getting up from his bed and out of his room.

The voices become clearer as he goes down the stairs on the way to the kitchen, where he makes out your voice and Mina's, seeming to be guiding you as you follow a recipe she reads out. "Y/N, he's awake." Mina alerts you as you turn to face him.

"Oh, good morning, Mr. Sato. I hope you don’t mind, Mina told me you barely use the kitchen anyway." You nervously chuckle as you focus your attention back on the stove. "Please, Y/N, what did I tell you?" He visibly cranks up at the mention of his last name early in the morning.

"Right, Kenji, I mean." You quickly recall, still stirring the pot. "That smells amazing, what's that?" He says as he walks over you, looking over your shoulder.

"I know it isn't really for breakfast but Mina told me how it was your favorite, so I made curry. Or, at least, attempted to make it." You explain cautiously, slowly looking over to your boss who's currently sporting a look of surprise.

"M-may I?" He gestures to the spoon. You nod and hand it to him, scooting over to give him a taste. His eyes close and you start to feel anxious, building up an excuse in your head to tell him.

"Tastes just like home."

[paddockbunny]

Hey! Could you maybe write Either Lando/Charles smut with 2&5. like Max walks in and he‘s the resders Brother and it‘s embarrassing and stuff. Maybe its like soft Sex if you know what i mean? Like all Gentle and stuff as Max walks in and is like: What the fuck! That‘s my Sister! Maybe could you do it like they were having a secret relationship? If you don‘t like the Idea or can‘t write it bc i am really bad at explaining, that‘s fine don‘t worry. Hope you have a great Day/Night!

“That’s my sister”

Summary: You didn’t mean to fall for Lando Norris- your brothers opponent - and what started as just sex quickly turned into a lot, lot more….but what happens when your brother Max finds out? Rating: 18+. Pairing : Lando Norris x Reader (Max Verstappen’s younger sister). Word Count : 3,869. Trigger Warnings : 18+, NSFW, adult material, adult language, PinV sex mention, sneaking around, J*s Verstappen, angry family situation, angsty vibes. 💞 Authors Note : Im so sorry this isn’t the best work I’ve put out but I am choked full of the cold and convinced I have the flu I’m feeling so bad rn. Anyway, I’ll put the “read more” thing in when I can because I know that annoys some people.

His loud groan flowed into your ear as lazily his hips jerked a few more times till he was totally spent. His breathing was just as crazed and erratic as yours. The mutual high that electrified both of your bodies was by now addictive and you weren’t sure you could quit it even if your life depended upon it. Lando’s forehead pressed against yours momentarily, still trying to catch his breath, before he pulled back and glared down at you. He drank you in. Wanting to savour the look on your face as much as you did with his. Until finally, he gave you what you wanted. He kissed you. His lips pressed firmly against yours and the action distracted you from him pulling out.

Your eyes followed him as he rolled off of you and lay on his back, a smirk dancing playfully across his mouth turned into a somewhat boastful smile when he saw that you were still watching him. He didn’t need to ask if you were satisfied, the fact you had just been breathily moaning his name repeatedly for the past few minutes as he edged you closer and closer to an orgasm told him that already.

The pair of you stayed like that for a while. Just simply laying there side by side, not saying anything at all, just listening to each other as breathing became less of a task and returned to normal. You knew you had to move, get redressed and return back to your hotel, and yet there was nothing in the world you wanted to do less. You wished you could stay here for the night. In Lando’s arms, perhaps having a round two (or three) and then falling asleep curled up together but that wasn’t possible. Instead you took a deep breath and slipped out from under the covers. “Already?” He asked sounding a little melancholy. You couldn’t find words as you looked for your disregarded underwear so only nodded. He sat up, resting his head on the headboard and watched you while you began to get redressed. You didn’t want to look at him. You didn’t want to see his face tinged with something that resembled sadness or worse, annoyance. “Are you leaving tomorrow? After the race?” “Uh…” you pulled your bra up your arms, situated your boobs and and reached around to clasp it around your back. “Yeah, I think so. Seven I think.” You shrug knowing exactly what was about to come out of Lando’s mouth. “Do you have to? Can you stay another day? Fly home with me on Monday night?” “Lando….” His name rolled off your tongue with a sad frustrated sound. You had been here before. He did this all the time. He always attempted to guilt trip you into staying, with him, longer than you actually could. “And what do I tell Max? Huh? Why I want to stay here another day?” You sighed and found your jeans. Shoving your feet into them before yanking them up and over your ass while he watched. Silently.

By the time you had put all of your clothes back on, gone to the bathroom and made yourself look presentable again, Lando had come up with a response to the little problem of your brother.

“Why don’t we just tell him?” You couldn’t hold back your sarcastic sounding laugh. “I’m serious.” “Because he will cut your balls off, publicly.” Lando knew you were right. He knew Max would have destroyed him, especially as he had warned him several times not to even think about you or look in your direction because you were off limits to him.

“Fuck!” He let out a frustrated, piss off expletive and banged his head back on the headboard he had been resting it against. The thing was, you weren’t ready to tell your brother yet and it wasn’t because you were scared of how he would react. It was because it made you and Lando official. And by being official with Lando you would become a target for his fans just like his ex-girlfriend had been. But it would be worse because you were a Verstappen and so you’d have your older brothers army coming after you as well. So if you were being completely truthful, you didn’t know if you’d ever be ready to be “out” with Lando. But right now, you hated leaving him like this. So pent up and frustrated, not at you but at the situation. You glanced at him as you checked your bag to make sure you hadn’t left anything and your heart pinged in your chest. He was so fucking handsome and you always had to play a war between your heart and your head when it came to him.

“I’ll see you next weekend.” You sat, pausing for a tender moment right beside him on the hotel bed that the pair of you had just made love in. He sat up right and pressed his forehead against yours.

“I love you. That’s why this whole thing is…” Of all the things you had expected him to say that was not one of them. He hadn’t told you he loved you before so it was all you could focus on. Three stupidly small words that you couldn’t remember ever hearing from another before let alone a guy. And you realised you had frozen when you felt his hand brush tenderly over your cheek as a wave of guilt hit you because you weren’t sure if you could repeat the words back to him just yet. “Lan….” You breathed out his name but he shushed you immediately. “Just because I’ve said it doesn’t mean you have to say it back, not yet. I just wanted you to know.” Your stomach flipped that he knew you better than you knew yourself and then when he kissed you you felt like you were suddenly underwater. You tried but you couldn’t quite place the emotions that were wracking through.

“See you next week?” He asked against your lips and you nodded. “See you next week.” You repeated back to him before taking a deep breath and raising from the bed.

When you closed his hotel room door and headed down the corridor you realised you were broadly smiling. Lando just said he loved you.

He loves you.

And you love him. You just needed to summon the strength to admit it.

But it posed one monumentally large challenge to you. How the hell do you tell your brother?!

One week later

Max had been wittering on about something still bothering him from yesterdays press interviews the whole car ride to the track. You added in the occasional “uh huh” and “yes, Max” to satisfy him but your mind was elsewhere. It was firmly fixated on the back and forth rapid texting going on between you and Lando the past few days. Particularly last nights texts, because those were emblazoned in your mind. They started off innocently enough until Lando outed the fact he had just gotten out of the shower and he was having a especially hard time since the excitement of seeing you soon hit him. And then the inevitable happened and the pair of you had FaceTime sex. And now, as much as it disgusted you as you sat in the car with your brother, you had to cross your legs to try and stem the uncomfortable palpitations going on at the apex of your thighs.

Thankfully, you managed to escape Max as soon as the pair of you arrived in the paddock. Media grabbed him almost immediately (much to his annoyance) meaning you were free to go grab a nice ice cold glass of water to try aid how hot you had gotten from the memories of last nights dirty escapades. As you walked toward the Red Bull hospitality suite you made sure to flash a smile at some of the familiar TV reporters that always seemed to ride your brothers dick. The phoney hello and wave only made you mutter a “fucking prick” under your breath even more. And you were just about safe. Moments from being home free and ascend the stairs to get that much needed drink of water when you saw Lando across the way leaving the McLaren camp with his race suit tied low around his waist. Your mouth salivated at the mere look of him dressed in his race suit. You paused for a second in pure admiration mode until he looked over and caught you staring. If you hadn’t just remembered the thought of his face as he came while getting off to you over video call, you’d have been embarrassed about staring but right now you smirked and looked at him up and down. You watched and Lando tried not to laugh at your response then said something to his media girls before heading over toward you. Your mind went into pure panic mode momentarily as you glanced around to check that Max (nor anyone else that could have gotten you into trouble) would see. Thankfully, everyone seemed far too busy to be bothered.

“See something you like?” Lando grinned cheekily. “You have no idea how much….” You purred right back and he rolled his tongue side to side to stop himself from getting as excited as he did last night. But then he flashed his eyes around and you watched as his jaw clenched as if he was trying to think of anything but you naked. You were just about to tease him further by telling him how hot and bothered you were seeing him with his race suit around his waist and that your panties were growing wetter by the second but he spoke first.

“Are you coming over tonight? I can’t stop thinking about you.” Fuck. He always managed to set you on fire and as you became convinced you were blushing he had accomplished that job. “I can’t tonight. My dad’s flying in and wants to have a family dinner with Max and I.” You rolled your eyes. The thought of sitting at an awkward dinner while your father spoke mainly of racing to Max and ignored you completely, pained you but you didn’t want to tell Lando that. He groaned lowly and rolled his head back dramatically which made you snigger at him. And as he opened his mouth to say something else - no doubt rude and implying you were giving him blue balls - your name was loudly shouted across the paddock.

“Fuck!” You groaned and followed it up with a sigh. “He’s heading over.” Lando stated and although you figured it was better that he left and avoided any sort of conversation with Max in that moment, Lando stayed put.

“What’s going on?” Max eyed the pair of you suspiciously. “Trying to make a move of her again Norris?” You gritted your teeth through sheer embarrassment. Max had consistently played the role of the overprotective older brother since, well, forever. Ever since the dawned on him that his baby sister was something of a stone cold fox Max went into overdrive with the scaring off any and all potential interested males role. Which was exactly why you had to sneak around behind his back. I mean, he would have an absolute coronary if he knew you and Lando had secretly been hooking up (and become a thing) for months. “Perhaps it’s me making a move on him, Max.” You sassed him back and Max just glared at you without a single shred of amusement in his face.

“I’m just going to leave before I get in the middle of a Verstappen V Verstappen fight. I’ll see you around, y/n.” Lando bowed out of the awkwardness of the situation Max had caused but not before he made sure to send you a knowing smug look. And now that you were utterly frustrated with your brother you turned to continue your earlier task and fetch an ice cold glass of water.

Unfortunately for you, Max happened to follow you. “What did he mean by that?” He asked as you reached one of the fridges that sat in the hospitality suite - which was usually full of solely Red Bull but had a secret stash of bottled water down on the bottom shelf behind the branding - and took out a bottle. “Mean by what?” You played dumb. “When he said he would see you later?” “It’s a turn of phrase, Max.” You rolled your eyes, hoping he would buy it. When you turned to him and finally looked at his face you could see the familiar pissed off look that he always had when it came to the thought of you and any guy. It was one that reminded you of your father and that was certainly something you didn’t like. Nervously you swallowed because you knew what was coming. “I don’t like the thought of him getting friendly with you. Norris. He’s not….he’s too immature, to childish for you not to mention a fucking driver and fancies himself as a player.” And there it was. The reason it was so hard for you to tell Max about your budding romance with Lando and the exact reason you had been sneaking about behind his back.

Your leg bounced anxiously under the table. Not because you were nervous but because you were desperate for this fucking shit show of a family dinner to end. You could see it in Max’s face that he wanted to be anywhere but currently sat in the expensive restaurant and you probably mimicked it in your own too, but your father continued. As suspected he spoke about racing the whole time. He sat and went over all of the things Max needed to improve on to win this weekend and you could see the pressure getting more and more piled on your brother by the minute. However, you were almost thankful your father was paying you no attention as it meant you could continue texting Lando under the table and zone out of the awkwardness of the evening altogether. Lando sent you a few funny memes when you complained of being bored and wanting nothing less than a meteorite to come smashing down to earth to get you out of the restaurant. He sent you a photo of his sad face and then another of his empty bed with a stick figure drawn on it that was supposed to be you. You chuckled at that one which you had to cover up with a fake cough.

“Everything ok?” Your dad glanced at you and you nodded. But then it dawned on you this was a perfect way to escape. You could fake illness. Your dad would be so paranoid that you might get Max sick that he would order you to go back to your hotel room and stay away from your brother so not to ruin his chances this week. Max would probably be miffed with you for doing it because it left him alone dealing with Dad but it was a price you were willing to pay to relinquish you from the hell you were currently in. You coughed again and grabbed your water. It was a little over the top and dramatic but you clutched at your throat and rubbed your glands to plant the seed.

“What’s wrong with you?” Once again, your dad glanced in your direction. “I don’t know. I’ve feel a bit yuk all day. I have a sore throat and this funny cough.” Max lowered his head and looked at you with a furrowed brow. He was on to you all most immediately. “Why didn’t you say earlier?” You shrugged at your Dad’s question. “You shouldn’t have come. You could have passed whatever you have on to Max!” He exclaimed.

“I think I should go back to the hotel. Get an early night. It’s probably nothing but I agree, I don’t want to get Maxy sick.” Your eyes darted toward your brother who had a face full of thunder. Your Dad agreed with you and made a hand gesture to hurry your departure up. You heard him tutting as you got up and grabbed your bag. You knew he was about to call you selfish or stupid for endangering Max’s race this weekend but you couldn’t give a fuck. You were out of that room as fast as your feet could carry you and your fingers could text Lando to tell him you were free. As you expected, Lando text you back almost immediately and you laughed loudly when he suggested he sneak into your hotel.

It wasn’t until you walked through the lobby of the Red Bull team hotel and were accosted around the middle by a pair of arms that you realised he was completely serious. A shriek escaped you till you heard Lando saying;

“Shhh, it’s me!” In your ear. You seriously thought he was joking when you initially text him and hadn’t for one single moment thought he was serious. You snapped around and found him with his hood up and hat on, practically trying to disguise himself in an opposing team hotel. “How are you…” You couldn’t even get the words out to ask him how he was even here in the hotel of the competition. “Told them I was meeting with Horner.” He was still pressed up against you, you could feel his body heat radiating off of him and you about lost your mind. Well in fact, you did loose your mind because suddenly you found your mouth on his. Your lips grazed across his but it was Lando that deepened it by running his tongue across your bottom lip and begging you to allow him in. As you did and his tongue collided with yours his hands gripped your body tighter, holding you even closer to himself. But then, as you were utterly lost in the moment, your name was practically shouted across the hotel lobby.

Snapping back, ripping your lips away from Lando’s, you looked straight to the sound of the voice and met your brothers eyes. His face was one of shock and utter pure horror. And suddenly your heart pounded mercilessly in your chest and panic began to ravish your body as he crossed the floor thunderously. You were frozen. Utterly and completely frozen. You had never disappointed him before and this was way beyond disappointment. You’re breath caught in your throat and just before he reached the pair of you you tore yourself off of Lando and stepped away from him toward a Max with your hands stretched out. You saw the slightly manic look in his eyes and you were genuinely concerned. You had seen him angry before but this was a whole other level that reminded you of your father and that terrified you.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” He roared, by passing you completely and promptly gave Lando a very firm shove backwards. “THATS MY SISTER!” He yelled.

“Max!” You tried to pull him back as he pushed Lando again. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” He continued and by this point he was causing a scene and the hotel were very obviously calling team security. “Max please, calm down.” You tried to order him but his head snapped to you and his look was one that warned you to stop. As he raised his hands to push Lando again you grabbed hold of him and ducked in between them.

“I love him, Max.” You said it so plainly. “I love him.” You repeated and you realised you hadn’t even said it to Lando yet and here you were telling Max this before him. You hoped that in that moment you declared your love for his fellow driver but also one of his competitors that he saw the expression all over your face and comprehended it as genuine. That you were completely and utterly telling the truth.

An eternity seemed to pass. Silence falling between the three of you. Max stared at you as if you would burst into flames any moment and it killed you seeing him so furious with you because you were so incredibly close as siblings. You felt tears begin to sting your eyes. Then as you thought things were about to go nowhere and this Mexican stand off would continue Max held out a room key to you.

“You forgot this.” He stated bluntly and tentatively you took it from him. Then without a single shred of warning he took off toward the elevators and you turned at breakneck speed around to Lando. Flinging your arms around him and tipping hold of him tightly you felt the sudden, built up tension release from your body. “This might not be the moment but…did you mean it? Do you love me?” You looked into his beautiful, captivating green eyes and nodded. “Max will come round.” “I don’t know, Lando. I know what he’s like and how stubborn he will be. I’ve disappointed him by lying to him, I don’t know how we’ll recover from this.”

Six Weeks Later

“Will you just stop staring at them like that! It’s becoming creepy!” Max’s girlfriend groaned as she noticed how Max had not stopped staring at you and Lando walking hand in hand through the paddock. “Besides, look at her, she’s glowing.” “I fucking hate this.” He gritted his teeth together when he finally attempted to look away but found himself looking back at them again. It was like he was rubbernecking on his sisters new relationship.

“I thought you were coming round to it? You said she seemed happy just last night.” Max had said that. He had said it as he was about to get into bed and had a horrible wave of guilt wash over him about the situation. He saw them together yesterday on media day and they seemed so suited. As much as it killed him to admit it he couldn’t help but think how good they looked with each other. Which meant he now felt like was the worst big brother ever. He had probably overreacted to seeing them kissing in the lobby of the hotel a few weeks ago, and he wasn’t sure she would ever forgive him for that. But now as he watched you throw your head back in riotous laughter as Lando’s face was filled with adoration, he knew he had to accept you had chosen one of his opponents as the man to make you happy.

“I did. I do. But that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.” He sighed frustratingly. There was nothing he had said in the six weeks since he found out that he hadn’t already said. He went through all the stages of being angry, hurt and pure denial in short succession. However now, as he observed Lando slipping his hand into yours he accepted he needed to concede defeat and acknowledge that his baby sister was indeed in love with Lando Norris.

“Just go and talk to her. Settle it. Please.” His girlfriends voice seemed like the voice of reason because Max missed you and hated not talking to you. “She might not even want to talk to me….” He sighed heavily because this had been weighing on him all this time and he simply missed her baby sister. “I will…” Max conceded “but not here, not in front of cameras.” He knew he would probably have to grovel and you wouldn’t make accepting his apology easy but he was willing to try because he loved you and that was that. He simply loved you.

[gothamslostboy]

Hi me again! Could I request Spencer Reid x trans male reader (ftm) with the prompts

“Please stay” and “It’s cold when your gone”

Where the 2 r js cuddling bc some asshole at y/ns work said some shit abt him being trans

Maybe a bit of making out but fs like kisses

Ty luv 🫶

- 🦭

A/N: hey 🦭, thank you for my first ever Spencer Reid request! This was a great experience to write and I hope you like it:]

Meliorism

WORDS: 850

MELIORISM (n.) the belief that the world gets better; the belief that humans can improve the world

Spencer Reid x FTM reader

SPENCER YOU

Spencer had 3 main amazing talents. His eidetic memory, which allowed him to recall the tiniest visual details of the things he sees, even if briefly. Reid could also read 20,000 words a minute, finishing books that would take a regular person multiple days in only a few hours. These are well known about Spencer, but, his third talent is something only you’ve experienced. He has the ability to read your emotions perfectly.

If he hadn’t already explained that the ability to be a genuine mind reader would require factors that don’t exist in our world, you would’ve been sure he was one. No matter how insignificant the feeling, Dr. Spencer Walter Reid knew you felt it. So it was no suprise when he was already at the door when you arrived home, scooping you into a hug and kissing your forehead.

Daniel said something again didn’t he? You know, even after one transphobic comment the U.S Equal Employment Opportunity Commission says that he can be fired. I’m sorry he does this Y/N, you deserve better. You let out a small chuckle as he continues to ramble about different papers and documents he’s read that could help. Just knowing how much Spencer wants to help makes the hurt you feel evaporate away for a bit.

I’m gonna be ok Spence, it just hurts to hear those things. Especially because he was a work friend before he found out I’m trans. You broke away from the hug to shrug the burgundy coat off your body, placing it on the coat rack before grabbing Spencer’s hand & walking towards your shared bedroom. I know Y/N, but you’re just too great of a guy to have to put up with hateful speech. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? I just want to lay down and watch a show, is Star Trek alright? He smiles, matching the small one on your face as he nods.

Sounds perfect! Did you know that Star Trek actually has very little physics mistakes? Considering the time it was- Spencer’s phone rings, cutting off a rant you were honestly interested in hearing. He answers, the corners of his mouth dropping back down as he exhales. He nods his head a few times before excusing himself to the person on the other end of the phone. Sorry Hotch, just a moment. You’re now back to feeling the same disappointment you had earlier, Aaron only calls after 6:00pm when there’s a case.

Y/N, im so sorry, Reid cups your face with his left hand. There’s a briefing for a case, we leave early tomorrow. Please stay. You lean your face into his hand even more. I know it’s selfish, but I just don’t want to be alone…. Its not selfish. A quiet silence fills the moment. Spencer examines you for a second before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He guides you onto the bed, pulling off your shoes and turning on Star Trek. He exits the room and moves the phone back to his ear. You sigh, knowing that the case is important or he would’ve stayed.

Surprisingly, Spence re enters about 10 minutes later, with waters and your favorite snack. I thought- I can read the case files on the flight tomorrow. There’s more than enough time and Hotch said he’d fill me in on any other information needed. You hug his side as he sits down, pulling yourself close enough to rest your head on his shoulder as you watch the show. Thank you Spence. It’s better when you’re here, the house is so cold when I’m alone. He turns your head to face his, you come first Y/N, always.

Both leaning in for a slightly intense kiss, time passes and you realize 1 and 1/2 episodes have played in the background. You two had got so caught up in eachother that the tv noise had been completely forgotten. Spencer shares one more peck, before turning back to the screen. I thought you just wanted to lay down and watch a show? We haven’t done very much of that have we? A snicker escapes you as your eyes roll playfully.

Alright, I know. You’ve seen this show a hundred times- 68 and 3/5ths. Reid beams at you as you raise an eyebrow. Ok, you’ve seen this show 68 & 3/5ths times, what’s happened so far in this episode?

He begins to tell you all the needed context for the episode, and then some extra. You lean back against his shoulder and you two hold the hands closest to eachother, the horrible day of work completely forgotten.

Spencer tended to do that. He made all your bad days turn into good ones. You knew no matter how many people tried to hurt you, to tear away your happiness, that people like Spencer Reid existed. People who spend everyday trying to fix this broken world. You knew that meeting Spencer and falling in love with him was the luckiest thing a guy like you could do.

[nathank77]

12/22/24

2:37 p.m Added to Significantly/Changed I wrote an essay.

I did leg day today. I did squats and this other calisthenic added on to what i normally do. It was a nice workout. I've been stretching recently in the stretching cage. Working on my trap a lot. I had to do my legs bc I def had an effective workout...

My trap is probably 95% healed... I might do it tomorrow. Sometimes I think it's 100%, I'd rather be safe than sorry... I wasn't even doing my back more than once a week for a long time and my traps got insanely big very quickly. I'll see how I feel tomorrow.

My biceps hurts and my forearm on only one side. My abs are fine. I actually didn't do any dumbbell exercises on arm and chest day.. I did all machines to maintain proper form. I did lift 40 pounds on just biceps though... I mean maybe that's why. I'll work around it if it hurts tomorrow.... maybe I've been working out so much I've been working around delayed onset muscle soreness... maybe I should do that instead of letting it hurt lol

But yea I'll figure it out tomorrow. My rib cage is starting to show a little and I can feel it. That's a first since basically childhood other than when I was super skinny when I was with cecile.

I can see that dip where my V is going to be when I get nice obliques. My hips are starting to be just skin. Im surprised how effective strength training can be with weight loss. The scale isn't moving... but my stomach is starting to be a thin person's stomach.. I still got a pouch though but it migrated to the center of my belly lol

I got a good hip flexor workout too. I did seated knee tucks.. and the squats. I did this calisthenic where you sit on a box and then stand and just keep doing that. God that killed. I did it until I couldn't stand anymore. I sat and I was stuck lol

I'm excited to do abs tomorrow and work around my bicep that should hopefully be fine by tomorrow. And maybe do my back..

I shaved my face and head today so I'm ready for Christmas. I still don't know what to do about that... do I stay with my mom or go to my dad's? Idk..... the blood has been on my mind still.. but getting less traumatic...sorta... her face got fucked up. Not really fucked up. But it's hard looking at her.

And Idk what to do about Christmas. I wouldn't need more xanax to sleep to stay home on Christmas day but I'll need it both the day before Christmas eve and Christmas eve if I go to my dad's. She will actually be sitting here alone. I do want to see my siblings, dad and Lori on Christmas...

I'm really confused by this and I have mixed feelings. Don't I deserve to see my siblings and my normal family and be around a Christmas tree and have a Christmas dinner and not be around fucking stupid Riley and feel safe and be able to eat??? But then I leave her alone. Idk what to do. She isn't making me feel bad about it at all.... truly... but I feel awful about it anyways.

Idk what to wear to my dad's for Christmas eve. I got all those nice clothes out of that one storage unit skye had me go through a few months ago. I mean I got my orange under armour shirts and a few other nice shirts. I got a bunch of buttons ups and vests and ties. It was a really clean one. I didn't have to go through some guys fucking underwear for that one. I got A LOT of nice clothes from that one. I mean I got my 3 pairs of dickies in different colors. Unfortunately the dress pants didn't fit me... maybe they would now but they are long gone.

I was thinking about wearing a dress shirt and a vest over it with a tie... and just my dickies and high tops bc I'm Nathan fox and yea that's who I am lol or ill just wear a hoodie and a t shirt.. I worry that I'll stain the clothes it's one of my biggest problems... I have decent clothes I won't wear unless I'm not going to eat... bc what if I ruin my nice clothes?? Idk. I sorta want to dress nice. I never see people. I have virtually no reason to ever wear those dress clothes. I always wanted to wear a vest over a button up and look nice and I could...

That Nike hoodie i got from the last storage unit is really nice.... really really nice. Almost new. And I love the color it's green like army green. But I mean i don't want to wear it bc what if I ruin it? It isn't black... I got a blue Adidas ones. It's nice but not amazing. It's thin. I'm going to keep asking my sister bc yea I'm poor enough to decide going through someone's underwear is worth it to find a few treasures...

I like the snow boots. I wish I could buy my own... but I mean i know they were a win... I know they are expensive... but if I could buy my own I wouldn't be worried about posion ivy being on them ...

My poison ivy obsession has gotten so bad i think it's on everything even things Riley never touched...if I don't know where it's been.

I also got a pair of Jordan and a pair of Nike black high tops. Both the boots and Nike high tops are 10.5 i mean tbh I think the Nike high tops are too big... the boots i actually think are a perfect fit funny enough... id need to wear them more to know for sure... but they actually seem to be perfect..

I got jordans too in prob a 9....the Jordan's fit very comfortably but they are kinda not worth keeping bc of condition..... it makes me want a pair of Jordan's though. Considering their condition and how fucking comfortable they are... also they do look nice... all high tops... nice styles..but like hundreds... probably bc they are comfortable... huh?

If I actually quit smoking... I'm going to be disgusting with shoes... I already rewarded myself. You don't even want to know how many shoes i bought myself. Let's just say that shoes are no longer a problem... yes I need like a pair of running shoes... and a pair of boots... maybe a pair of dress shoes.. but high tops... umm i do not need any lol going to 3 cigarettes a day deserved a fucking reward.

Speaking of I got to worry about cigarettes soon. I can probably make it 5 days max with what i have.

I haven't told anyone I'm getting hearing aid and I'm really scared to mention it.. idk how people will react about it. I'd rather tell them, than have them notice and bring it up.

I've been thinking about my dad recently. And especially bc of Christmas with my mom.. both my parents are getting older. My dad is losing it a little with the storage units... his basement which is half finished cause they are adding an extension to it is FILLED with storage unit stuff... Mike was such a cunt about saying i need to ask my dad if I could stay there when I kept saying you dont get it I've been to their house they actually DONT HAVE ANY ROOM for me.

I want to talk to my dad more. I don't want to leave my mom alone... idk what the right decision is.

[sesmantelar]

today has been such a busy day!

I slept in til 8, because I woke up at 2AM, bc I fell asleep after my boyfriend dropped me off from the steakhouse.

I started by tidying up a bit, then worked on my hair, ordered stuff for pickup, laundry. I went out an got a sugar wax and extraction, then picked up my groceries, bought some more organization stuff for my new art station, got some skincare and got my car washed. I wanted to get another color match done for foundation bc mine looks wrong now for some reason, but I decided to leave that for tomorrow after my private ice lesson.

now, im hydrating and at 2, I'll go to my favorite ice arena in the area, skate for an hour or so, then head back home to finish my desk area, get golden, watch anime + shows, draw, code, read and sleep at a decent time :) I really like my life rn.

[moonlitsnail]

hm

[hangovercurse]

Crash Into Me

You’d been MGK’s assistant for years, but you never thought you had a chance at anything more with him until one stoplight changes everything.

Request: “ok im so sorry if this is 2 specific but ive had this idea for ages abt pining!colson x an insecure/clueless!reader who has been his assistant forever. she gets into a car accident and calls him hours later to tell him that a temp will be taking her place for a few weeks (bc of injuries) and he's like ?? why?? she explains nonchalantly, then kells kinda freaks out and shows up at the hospital all worried”

Colson Baker X Reader

Warnings: Cursing, car accident (descriptive)

A/N: This was cute 😊

Word Count: 3185

“Alright Kells, I’m out for the night. I’ll email those tracks to the board when I get home and I’ll let you know if I get any updates for tomorrow’s press.” You told the blond man who was sitting on the couch as you put your laptop into your bag. You tried not to yawn as you heaved it over your shoulder, “anything else?”

You glanced at the kitchen clock that read 2 am and let out a small sigh. You were used to late nights given your job as assistant to a rockstar, but most nights you were able to leave before 8 pm. Tonight you and Colson had gotten really invested in the tracks you were editing and lost track of time.

“Y/N,” he turned to look at you with puppy dog eyes. He wanted something that you really weren’t gonna want to give him. “Could you come over early tomorrow to help me pick out what to wear for the Vanity Fair interview?”

You chuckled, “you know they have their own wardrobe department?”

He sighed, “yeah but you know me so much better than all those stylists. I trust your opinion more.”

You rolled your eyes as he tilted his head, begging you. “Fine, but I’m buying us coffee with your credit card.”

He broke out into a smile, “thank you, love you!” He called as you walked towards his front door.

“Whatever, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You told him, taking your car keys into your hands, and stepping out into the LA night. There was a soft breeze that shook the trees slightly, making you smile. It felt nice outside for the first time in a while.

Because of this, you decided to drive home with your windows rolled down, letting the wind flow through your hair. The roads were pretty barren by LA standards, so traffic was pretty much non-existent. You were sitting at a red light, your fingers tapping against your steering wheel as one of Colson’s songs played through your speakers softly.

You reached to turn up the volume as the light turned green. You pressed the gas, your car moving forward into the intersection. Suddenly you heard a loud squeal of brakes, looking over to your passenger window to the sight of two headlights barreling towards you. You tried to speed up to get out of the way, but it was too late.

The truck rammed straight into the side of your small car, pushing your vehicle over into the car next to you. You put your left arm up to shield you from any flying debris, but it was futile. The infrastructure of your car fell apart at the force, the dashboard collapsing onto your right leg. Luckily, your left leg managed to avoid the destruction.

You could barely feel the force of the whiplash due to the pain in your abdomen at the deployment of the airbag. Glass from the car next to you fell into your car through your open window, cutting into your skin.

And then all of a sudden, everything stopped. The truck that had hit you had stopped moving, allowing you to fully assess the damage. Your car was totaled for sure, and your leg was definitely crushed. You cried out in pain, breathing heavy and trying to see straight. You could hear the sound of sirens in the distance, giving you some sense of relief.

When the paramedics got to the scene, you were the last passenger to be taken out of the crash due to your car being in the center. A firefighter had to break the glass of your windshield, which was already cracked, in order to pull you out. When you told him your leg was stuck under the dashboard, he sent a team of men to lift it from your foot and another to pull you out of the wreckage.

They were all amazed you were still conscious but got very worried when you told them you couldn’t feel the pain in your leg. You rode in an ambulance to the hospital, the EMTs helping pick the glass from your skin and assessing your injuries. You made jokes with them to calm yourself down, something that you did with Colson and Rook whenever they got into accidents while you were out with them.

You thought about giving them Colson’s name when they asked about your emergency contact but decided against it. You didn’t want to worry him until absolutely necessary. You figured you’d see what the doctor had to say and if you wouldn’t be able to come back to work, then you would tell him.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what the doctor said. In fact, you wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital for at least a week due to your shattered leg, bruised abdomen, and concussion.

The leg would require at least 2 if not more surgeries to repair and you would be on close watch for development of a more serious brain injury. After that you most likely wouldn’t be able to be back on your feet for another 8 to 12 weeks, which was kind of a requirement for your job.

It was almost 5am, so you weren’t necessarily thinking straight when you called Colson from your cracked phone. He answered, his voice conveying how tired he was. “Y/N? Everything okay?”

“Hey Kells, I’m not gonna be able to come in early tomorrow, or at all. I’m gonna start looking for a temporary replacement tomorrow if I’m feeling up to it. Oh! And I couldn’t send those tracks to the board, sorry.” You told him, only half registering the words you were saying.

The confusion was evident in his voice, “what? Why do you need to find a replacement?”

You realized you had forgotten to tell him what happened. “Oh, yeah! It’s kind of funny.” You started, chuckling but then realizing that laughing made your stomach hurt even more. “And by funny, I mean not funny at all. I got into a car accident. Some dude ran into my car in an intersection and now I’m in the hospital.”  

“Which hospital?” Colson asked, suddenly much more awake.

“Hollywood Presbyterian.” You told him, “why?”

He sounded like he was rushing around, which he was. “I’m coming to see you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “why? I’m fine, you don’t need to do that. You have a big interview tomorrow, you should sleep.”

Colson sighed, “fuck the interview, I’ll be there in a few.”

“Colson you don’t-“ You started, but he hung up before you could tell him not to come.

Why was he rushing to see you in the hospital? Sure, you were friends, but he had much more important things to worry about right now. And besides, you were more casual work friends. He wouldn’t even know you existed if you didn’t work for him. Sure, you had a huge crush on him, but he was your boss, you were just someone he asked to do things he didn’t want to do.

 20 minutes later Colson ran into the hospital room, stopping when he saw you in the bed. Your face was red from chemical burn and a few cuts of glass. Your right leg was propped up with basic bandaging around it. His heart broke at the thought of how much pain you had probably been in.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly, moving to sit in the chair on your left side.

You shrugged, “I’ve been better.”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” He asked, eyes full of pity.

“I didn’t want to bother you unless it was serious. Figured I’d find out if I would have to miss work before telling you.” You said, squeezing your eyes shut as a headache washed over you.

Colson’s mouth gaped open, “you didn’t want to bother me? You got in a car crash and you weren’t gonna call me unless you would have to miss work?”

You shrugged again, “yeah. If my laptop wasn’t completely crushed in the accident I would’ve just found and sent a temp in tomorrow, but obviously that’s impossible.”

“Y/N you’re kidding me, right?” He asked, exasperated. You furrowed your eyebrows in response, causing a sigh to fall from his lips. “Y/N I don’t give a shit about a temp; I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh, I’m fine. A little shaken and these headaches are killer, but they gave me a lot of pain medication so, I’m fine.” You smiled at him, your thoughts racing as you tried to figure out why he cared so much about how you were feeling.

He nodded, hand reaching out and landing on top of yours gently. “So, do they have to do surgery? What all did the doctors say?” He asked, worry in his eyes.

You nodded, “yeah, at least 2 surgeries. One around 11 am and then depending on how that one goes they’ll schedule the next. And they have to watch me to make sure my concussion doesn’t get worse.”

He pulled out his phone, typing away. “What are you doing?” You asked, suddenly feeling very tired.

“I just emailed the PR liaison for Vanity Fair and told them I wouldn’t be able to make it to the interview.” He responded.

“Why did you do that?” You asked through a yawn.

He looked at you like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, “because I have to be with you right now.”

You were very confused as to why he thought he had to be here. “Colson, I’ll be fine. You should go to the interview. You don’t have to stay here.”

“I do have to be here. I want to be here.” He said, sternly.

“Why?” You asked, trying to keep your eyes open.

“Because I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I’ll just call you after the surgery, it’s no big deal.” You responded lazily.

He shook his head, “I want to stay here with you, Y/N. Okay? I care about you.”

You were too tired to process what he was saying at this point, so you just let out a hum. “I need to make sure you’re okay. I need to see you being okay. When you called me, I swear I was gonna have a heart attack if I didn’t see you.” He continued.

You were barely awake at this point, letting out a simple, “I’m okay” before slipping into unconsciousness.

 Suddenly you were back in your car, “Bloody Valentine” playing from your speakers. The sky was dark green, almost like a painting. In front of you, the red light turned green. Like clockwork, you pressed the gas, moving into the intersection. Suddenly, the lights disappeared, and you heard the familiar chilling sound of breaks squealing. You looked over and saw those headlights coming towards you, getting closer and closer, brighter, and brighter.

You screamed at the sight, the familiar paralyzing fear coursing through your body again. “Y/N!” Your name played through the radio. That’s not in the song, you thought. “Y/N!” Colson’s voice rang out again before the truck made contact with your car.

You woke up in a cold sweat to Colson standing over you, hands shaking your shoulders lightly. “Y/N.” He said, relieved when your eyes began to open.

Your entire body was shaking like a poodle and your arms subconsciously reached for Colson, hanging onto his shirt for dear life. “It was just a dream.” He whispered as your eyes darted around the room. “You’re okay.” He reassured you.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered, hands leaving the fabric and moving to cover up your face. “I’m sorry.”

Colson sat on the bed next to you, legs hanging off the side as he stroked your face gently. “It’s okay, baby.” He turned to the nurse who opened the door, a worried expression on her face. He shook his head at her, “sorry, she just had a nightmare. She’s okay.” The nurse nodded but stayed in the room anyways, checking your vitals.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled again, the words seeming to be the only thing you could say.

Colson shook his head, “stop saying that, it’s okay.” You pouted at him, trying to scoot over so he would lay down next to you, but it was way too painful. “What are you doin?” He asked, a smile on his face.

You sighed, “wanted you to sit next to me but I can’t move because of this stupid leg.” You motioned to the leg in question.

Colson chuckled, “I can sit next to you in the chair.”

“That didn’t work last time.” You whined.

He looked at you with an expression that was both amused and confused. You were definitely still high on pain medication. “What didn’t work.”

“It didn’t stop the nightmare.” You frowned, hand reaching for his. He chuckled, standing up fully and looking at the nurse.

She flashed him an amused smile, “If you want, we can try to move her. I don’t know how much we can do without hurting her ribs, though.”

Colson nodded with a gracious smile, “hear that? We can’t move you because of your ribs.”

You glared at him, “I may be very high right now, but I’m not that high.” You said, making him giggle. “She said you could try.”

Colson let out an exasperated sigh, one arm going under your back and the other under your left leg. “Is this what it’s like taking care of me all the time?” He asked and you nodded your head firmly.

“Yep. Except I am much smaller than you, so you have less work to do with me.” You smiled as he lifted you off the bed, which quickly turned into a grimace. “Ow!” You yelped and Colson quickly set you down, slightly closer to the right side of the bed.

“Fuck, sorry princess. Are you okay?” He asked, voice soft.

You nodded, sucking in your bottom lip to block the whimpers of pain that threatened to escape your mouth. “You probably don’t remember, but one time you were so crossed that you called me to pick you up from a party. But you couldn’t make it out of the car, so I had to carry you into your house. And then you demanded to sleep in your own room, so you made me drag you up the stairs instead of passing out on the couch like normal.”

Colson let out a breathy chuckle, glad you weren’t hurt too much. He carefully sat onto the cot next to you, pulling up his right leg to sit on the bed. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you into him slightly. You shifted so that you were comfortable, left hand finding his own left hand and holding it. He brought his left leg up onto the bed so he was fully laying with you.

Your head rest on his chest, a soft smile on your face as his thumb rubbed circles on your hand. The nurse left, satisfied that you wouldn’t hurt yourself further. Colson pressed a small kiss to the top of your head, causing your eyebrows to furrow.

“What time is it?” You asked him, to which he responded by pulling out his phone and showing you the lock screen. 8:47am. You nodded, a frown on your face, “did you get any sleep?” You asked him softly.

“I’m fine, I was asleep for a few hours before you called me.”

You sighed, feeling guilty. “You should go home and get some sleep.”

You felt him shake his head from behind you, “I’m staying right here.”

Despite wanting to force him to go home, you couldn’t help the happiness you felt at his stubbornness to stay with you. “You know you don’t need to be here. I won’t be offended if you leave.”

He chuckled, “stop trying to get me to leave. I’m here. On my own accord, okay? I’m gonna take care of you.”

You paused, thinking about the word floating around your head. “Why?” you whispered.

Colson’s face scrunched in confusion, “what do you mean “why”? Because you’re my friend and I care about you.”

“I mean, yeah. But I’m not like a “drop everything” kind of friend, I’m just your assistant.” You muttered.

Colson made an “are-you-serious?” face and let out a snort. “Seriously? You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You mean the world to me, of course I’d drop everything for you.”

You couldn’t think of a response, his words making your heart race. “oh.” Was the best you could come up with.

“Y/N, seriously, you think way too low of yourself. You’re amazing.” He said, nose burying into your hair.

You shrugged, “you only say that because I take care of you when you’re drunk and help you do all the things you don’t want to do.”

Colson’s expression softened, a frown forming on his face. “I’m saying that because I think the world of you. You’re the kindest, funniest, coolest person I know. I meant it, when you told me you were in the hospital, my heart almost stopped. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about you being hurt.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I wish you could see how much you mean to me.” He mumbled.

You were quiet for a little while, processing what he had said. “You’re only saying that because I’m in the hospital.” You muttered, a frown on your face. You were trying to keep your hopes low, knowing once you were out of here, he would regret saying any of this.

“Y/N, are you being serious right now? I’m saying this because I’ve been fucking in love with you for the past year and a half.” He said and you could feel your breath catch in your throat. “I can’t believe you don’t see it.”

You bit your lip, turning to look up to him. “I just- I didn’t want- you wouldn’t.” You stumbled over your words, taking a deep breath, and starting again. “I didn’t want to read too much into it or get my hopes up. I figured you’d never be into someone like me so I just told myself you were being nice. I thought you only treated me well because I worked for you.” You mumbled.

He frowned, holding you tighter to him, “I am so, so into you. You are the only woman in my life who has ever stuck by me through my worst shit. Like even when I was a total jackass you stayed with me. How could I not fall in love with you?”

You bit your lip, tears threatening to spill at his sweet sentiment. You’d never had anyone say something that kind about you. You’d always assumed people only kept you around because you did stuff for them, but here was the man you were in love with telling you that he cared about you for you.

“I love you too.” You whispered, leaning your head further into his chest.

[urbfsecretgf]

The boy next door. (pt2.)

a/n: no one asked for more but im just gonna keep posting as i write bc its fun :)

(everything is made up including names, family members and text messages)

_________________________________________________________

you look at the message from vinnie and smile.

"what are you so smiley about y/n?" you mom says in a jokingly way

"she met a boy at the ice cream shop" jack says sounding annoyed

"soooo whats his name, is he cute, how old is he, where does he live, i wanna know everything"

your mom has always been a little nosey when it comes to boys, especially ones that make you smile.

"mommmmmm" you say

"oh come on i just wanna know"

"okay fine" you give in "his names vinnie and he lives next door, he came into the ice cream shop while we were waiting and he complimented me on my ice cream choice"

your mom laughs and says; "he seems like a very sweet boy, why dont you invite him and his family over for dinner tomorrow?"

"we arent moved in fully yet mom" jack interrupts

"oh vinnie offered to come over tomorrow and help move stuff in, you can invite him and his family over for dinner when hes here if you want to"

your mom sits and thinks about it for a second. she's never liked asking for help "you know we could use the extra hands, if you want to text him and see if hes willing to come over around 10 and help unload boxes that would be wonderful. i'll make lunch too depending on how long it takes"

"YES!" you scream in excitement, "i'll text him right now and see if he can. love you mom!"

you run upstairs and let out a squeal. you where so excited to see your dream boy again.

you text vinnie and throw your phone on your bed.

"oh shoot!" you yelled. "if he does come over i have to clean my room i can have it look like this." you look down at your floor and see all the laundry scattered everywhere.

"im such a mess"

you put on your favorite playlist and start dancing while you clean your room.

*BZZ*

"mom! he said hes coming over tomorrow!"

"sounds good!"

you keep cleaning your room but eventually fall asleep because you had a long day today.

when you woke up you checked the time.

"ITS 10:45??"

your alarm never went off causing you to over sleep.

"i havent showered, i havent gotten ready, i havent done anything! and my room still isnt clean UGHHHH!"

you quickly throw on a pair of pajama bottoms and a crop top you found in your closet, you put dry shampoo in and throw your hair into a bun.

you grabbed your glasses and run down stairs.

"well good morning sleeping beauty" vinnie says to you staring at you.

"OMG YOU'RE HERE!"

"yeah you told me to come over... your mom is an amazing lady i must say, i also didnt know you wore glasses"

"MY GLASSES NOOOO!" you panic realizing you didnt have time to put your contacts in

"calm down its okay y/n. i like them." vinnie smiles at you.

"his smile is so pretty, and his eyes, wow." you think to yourself.

"y/n?" your mom says

"huh?"

"you okay? you zoned out for a second"

"OH yeah no im great." you realize you zoned out while staring at vinnie who was in a white tank top and is wearing a baseball cap. you couldnt stop yourself from starring.

"hey mom.." jack says "i found this in with the books"

you look at jack and realize hes holding your old bra

"JACK THATS MINE STOP" you gasp. oh boy that's embarrassing.

vinnie starts laughing and looks at you.

"stop laughing"

you're so embarrassed that he just saw that.

"dont worry y/n its okay. my dog had my boxers on her head after she went snooping in my room."

you can't help but to laugh a little.

the thought of seeing his dog with his boxers on her head is something you would pay to see.

"alright so is there anything else you would like me to move Mrs. Anderson?" vinnie asks your mom

"i dont believe so unless y/n or jack has anything to move" your mom looks at you and your brother waiting for a response.

jack breaks the silence and goes "nope, i think everything is in my room already."

"y/n do you have anything you need help unpacking or anything?" he looks at you and his eyes are this beautiful chocolate brown color.

"yeah i do actually."

vinnie and you head up to your room

"im sorry its such a mess i was trying to clean it last night but i must have fell asleep."

"don't worry about it, my room is way worse than this"

he reaches for a magazine he sees and giggles

"whats so funny? HEY PUT THAT DOWN!"

he laughs and sets it back down

"you know i think its cute."

"whats cute?'

"you, everything about you."

you roll your eyes and smile

"you're dumb Mr. Hacker, but you're cute as well"

"thank you Ms. Hacker."

"what did you say?"

"huh? nothing, anyways is that all you wanted me to help with?"

"yeah thats it thank you."

vinnie walks downstairs and you follow.

your mom is in the kitchen with your brother.

"oh vinnie before you leave, would you and your family like to come over for dinner tonight?" vinnie looks at you and then at your mom.

"i think they would be delighted to come over for dinner tonight Mrs. Anderson, i'll text them right now."

you go into the living room to watch some tv. vinnie follows and sits next to you.

*BZZ*

vinnies phone goes off

"they said they would love to come over, do you have a time in mind on when they should come over?"

"does 7:30 work?"

"that will work just fine."

looking at the time you realize you and vinnie have spent 5 hours together already.

"i should probably get heading home, i have to shower and get ready for dinner tonight, see you then everyone!" he kisses your cheek and heads out the door.

"bye vinnie see you tonight!" your mom and brother exclaim

"what a sweet boy" mom says

*4 hours later, 7:00 PM*

"Vinnie and his family will be over in 30 mins please make sure everything is ready and make sure you guys are ready aswell"

your mom has always been one to make sure everything and everyone looks good before any guest come over.

the door bell rings.

"y/n!! can you please get the door?"

you rush downstairs and open the door.

"hey y/n, wow you look good"

you curled your hair, put makeup on, and are wearing your nice fancy dress.

"hey vin i could say the same thing about you."

both of you are dressed up very nicely. he's wearing his blue suit and has his shirt buttoned down showing chest tattoo.

something about his tattoos drive you insane. you love them.

he introduces his family to yours

"i never knew you had a twin brothers." you say as your brother and his run off to the backyard.

"yeah they are a real pain in the ass"

"i know what that's like"

the two of you laugh

"this is a beautiful house you have jackie and you have 2 beautiful children as well" vinnies mom says to yours

"well thank you sandy im very blessed with what i have gotten in life, your 3 boys are such angels especially vinnie here. hes been very helpful today and i really appreciate it."

he smiles at your mom and then at you

"dinner was amazing, thank you for inviting us over and introducing us to your family, we are going to have a bbq here this weekend if you guys want to join." vinnies dad offers

"we will be there"

"awesome, well we best get going its late and we both have work in the morning, thank you again."

"yeah anytime! thank you guys for coming."

you say goodnight to vinnie and his family and head upstairs.

*BZZ*

New Message from Vinnie <3: you looked absolutely stunning tonight

To Vinnie <3: thank you vin, you looked very handsome tonight as well i must say, you look handsome every night tho.

From Vinnie <3: you're cute, goodnight luv sleep well :)

you set your phone down and smile. hes truly the best guy you have ever met.

[ushiwakaout]

Things I believe Sakusa Kiyoomi (pro MSBY volleyball player) would say if you lived together (from the moment you wake up, to the moment you fall asleep).

you’re msby manager bc i said so, and you wear glasses when u read

“Hey stinky wake up, we got early practice.” (5:00 am)

“Come on, you forgot to shower yesterday, shower now before i kick you to the shower.”

“Hold on, give me a kiss.”

*taps you ass to rush you to the shower*

“Don’t use up all the hot water”

“Hurry up i feel sticky.”

“Where’d you put my antibacterial soap.”

“Did you guy the apple scented shampoo?”

“Why’d you get the rose one, that’s the one Atsumu likes, i changed it for a reason.”

“Did you buy me a new loofa? Bc this one is more than a month old. It’s packing bacteria”

“Don’t buy me a neon green one because it reminds me of you- because i said so.”

“Come on we’re gonna be late.”

“Atsumu get your hands off my s/o.”

“It’s too early to deal with them.” (6:00 am)

“Help me stretch.”

“Push harder, i’m not beefy like bokuto, i can actually reach my ankles.”

“Bokuto their helping me, butt out.”

“What do you mean you’re gonna help him?”

*will hold your wrist and like swing it a little like a baby*

“Fine, give me a kiss tho.” (6:10 am)

*everyone’s a little shocked that all of you have lasted so long*

“What are you looking at atsumu.”

“No atsumu they won’t help you stretch.”

“Go help hinata instead of atsumu, because i like him better thats why.”

*will kiss you in between breaks even if hes all sweaty*

“How do you kiss me when im all sweaty, isn’t it gross?”

“No? Good, come here.”

*not the biggest fan of pda but the occasional kiss in public is fine (he’s very comfortable with his teammates but won’t tell anyone)*

“Can you refill my bottle for me?”

*will help you clean up after practice but will immediately shower before kissing you again because he’s extra sweaty*

“You missed a spot. No right here. Right.... No you’re good. Actually give me that.” (9:30 am)

“Did you bring me an extra mask?”

“Why arent u wearing the one i gave you?”

“It’s in your pocket, baby- Look, get over here. You owe me Umeboshi”

*will make you jump to reach your mask*

“give me a kiss”

*only pulls down his mask to kiss you*

“Let go buy some umeboshi.”

*doesn’t hold your hand but he makes you wrap your arm around his bc he likes being close to you*

*if you take the train he makes to stand in a corner, and you know he hates crowds and people but he does not want you getting touched by a stranger*

“I want coffee, do you want coffee?”

“Let’s go to the café by our place, i don’t like the other ones, their coffee is watered down.l

“Do you want anything? You’re buying me my fruit so i’ll buy you something.” (11:00 am)

“Did you not like it? I told you not to order thing you haven’t tried.”

“This is good, do you want mine?”

“Just drink it and give me yours.”

“You know i don’t care, you took a tiny sip y/n, give me it now.”

“Y/n, youre not forcing me to drink anything, give me your damn drink.”

“Stop being a baby, now wrap your arm around mine, i wanna go home and take a nap.”

“It’s you’re turn to clean right? Okay, i’m gonna take a nap.” (12:30 pm)

“Hey- They guys asked me to go out for drinks and i said i wouldn’t go without you....” (2:00 pm)

“Stop looking at my bed head... so do you wanna go?”

“Why do you look good?”

“It’s just drinks.”

*if you wear a dress*

“Can you not... pull this down more?”

*if you wear a button down*

“I’m just gonna *buttons up your shirt* “there you go” *pats your chest* “that’s better”

*watches you out your glasses on to read the drink menu after he’s had a few shots.”

“You look so cute” (5:00 pm)

*pinches cheeks*

“Come here give me a kiss.”

*bokuaka is a cannon ship in any of my headcannons*

“Why can’t we be touchy like bokuto and akaashi?”

“What do you mean i don’t like it?”

“I said no such thing.”

“Give me another kiss.”

“Another one”

“Hey... you wanna marry me one day?”

“No im not kidding, why would i be kidding?”

“No i don’t wanna go home yet, i wanna let atsumu you’re mine.”

“You’re not gonna leave me for piss hair right?”

“Not even Hinata?”

“Good, come here. I want a hug.”

“Take me home i wanna sleep now.” (7:00 pm)

“Actually i’m hungry, buy me food please.”

“No, nothing spicy. something savory.”

“Let’s go to Onigiri Miya, Osamu is the better miya, have i said that already?”

*at onigiri miya* “OSAMU, my favorite miya!” (7:30 pm)

“No im not drunk, did y/n tell you.”

“Give me something good.”

“No, not in the house- i’m paying.”

“Miya, i will make Atsumu my favorite, and you know i don’t wanna do that.”

“Baby, tell Osamu i’m not drunk.”

“No, no, no, i’m tipsy.”

*will make you feed him, will also deny it the next day*

“Goodnight favorite brother!” (9:00 pm)

“You think he believes me when i tell him he’s my favorite?”

“No? Good because atsumu is actually my favorite, but told tell him that.”

“Are you recording? What for?”

“Help me upstairs, I think i’m gonna fall.”

*sloppy fuck when he’s drunk and will cum inside you because he wants you to be a mess for him since he’s usually very picky about it. Kiyoomi is so fucking dirty when he’s drunk it’s stupid. will fuck you raw, will call you dirty names, will make you go dumb and if you pass out hed pass out with you*

“Hey, give me a bath will you? I don’t wanna smell like beer tomorrow.” (9:30 pm)

“Put all that nice stuff in my bath, i wanna smell good.”

“Please buy the apple shampoo because i actually really like it.”

“Reminds me of you.”

“Baby, just get in here with me.”

“Please.”🥺

*will hold you in the bath and nuzzle his head in the crook of your neck*

“I love you, so much.... You know that right?”

“Thank you for dealing with my freak cleaning obsession.”

“Are you sure it’s not a problem?”

“I know i’m picky but i try, for you and you only.”

*he will dry you off a little lazy bc he’s still really tipsy*

“Come to bed with me. i wanna hold you.”

“You’re feet are cold, put on socks.”

Extras:

“Baby i don’t feel so good.” (3:00 am)

“Baby~ wake up.”

“Hey- hey, don’t be so loud.”

“Can you clean this for me?”

“No, clean it again.”

“Did you buy more umeboshi?”

“We don’t have any more umeboshi”

“Shut it bokuto you can’t even touch your toes because you’re so beefy.”

“Baby, tell bokuto he’s too beefy- no it’s not mean- it’s funny.”

*at home drunk* “You like my body better right?” *will button down his shirt and make you touch his toned stomach*

“if you wanted my body to be like his i don’t think you’d scratch my bad as much as you did last night” *still very drunk*

“Hey, go clean that.”

“Come here, you have something in your eye.”

“Let me clean under your nails.”

*this man has a weird thing for popping your pimples, blackheads, stuff like that. will not admit it*

[moveslikejaggeria]

im very tired, tumblr dot com. im just very much exhausted. i think about how much i wanted to die just a few weeks ago and how happy i am now. but also,,, how i was right. happiness always comes in such fleeting moments. it sucks. the river is smaller, my dear friends, much easier to cross these days. but it doesnt mean its not still there.

i stopped seeing my therapist. and dietician. neither of them really reached out. fair enough. i think we were just dancing around the inevitable. i am therapist-proof: i repel them. its something about me that just pushes them away. its the me-ness.

i want a family so badly. all my friends are dating!! this sucks!! im so happy for them but wheres MY lover dearest. i hate dating apps though, im done with them. i gotta Know someone to date them and thats so hard over dating apps. alas

im so tired. not so much that its reached my bones, but its definitely deep in my muscles. i went and got a massage. it sucked and was expensive. now im sitting in the shower avoiding going to sleep bc as soon as i do tomorrow has to start. bleh

keep this to yourself porn bots but there was this person i really liked last year and god i was pretty infatuated but theyre not single so i had to get over it but sometimes i still have dreams with them in it and its kinda weird. like ik i cant control my dreams but it Feels manipulative to be in a situation where they are at my brains will. even i wont conform to that. plus then i wake up and the bed’s a little colder. alas

the loneliness is so deep in my bones i dont think itll ever leave, like a tumor they cant remove and you just kinda have to live with it and accept your fate. like a constant reminder that youre not normal or healthy and you never will or can be.

UGH i have TWO (2) meetings tomorrow. one of which is gonna SUCK bc i just have to sit there and be silent. i used to be really good at being silent. im twinning with mae from avatar lol.

i wish i lived in fiction. i wish i lived in a story that the author had all planned out and they had this nice little ending planned where everything was gonna finally be okay and id be happy. i think im trapped in a not-happy ending story. where the author tortures their characters relentlessly

how far away is labor day? i think labor day i’ll clean my apartment and finish moving in. maybe i’ll invite some friends over to keep me company, maybe not. maybe they will be busy or not want to. idk

not even a full week of school and im done. BLEH. i wish my therapist had put up more of a fight. or i had a better therapist. but then i wouldnt be talking to you, tumblr dot com! or maybe i still would. thats the question

there are two kind of depressed people: the ones who write happy endings for characters and imagine themselves AS the character to feel whole and those who torture their characters out of catharsis or to not feel so alone. so i suppose this is all karma for my fictional characters. do you think if i become the former life would be better?

OH tumblr dot com, i know you hate the tiky toky app, but they told me i was gonna find a partner this year! oh can you believe it! and if i listened to this one sound and manifested, i would be rich. oh tumblr dot com, can you imagine? someone to just hold and be held by? someone who you can lay your head against and listen to their heartbeat? someone you can trust with your whole you? oh tumblr dot com, how i do love to go on…

one last thing before i let you continue scrolling, mr porn bot. the happiest day of my life that i can remember is that one saturday last semester. i went to the arcade/golf course/gokart place place with my friends and we spent the day there and then we came home and i got to meet lewberger and see them perform and oh! the day before when i got my picture taken with stinger and got ice cream and knew random facts about greys anatomy and oh,,, to be young again. to live in those moments and just be happy. for that fleeting moment

[notnctu]

nct by the hour❀

▸ in which each member represents an hour of your extremely long day. its a similar concept to all the different people you encounter on a daily basis. read in chronological order!

▸[a/n] it’s author doie❀! inspired by @okmica‘s nct as types of boys ; im sorry u got notified twice bc i accidentally posted my draft lolol,, but anyways ur post absolutely butters my toast hehe idk what i wrote honestly lol 

RENJUN ▸ 4:02 a.m

your own personal alarm clock, light pats on your shoulder and tiny whispers, stumbles in the dark, takes off his warm hoodie to slip onto you, leaves your door open, places a granola bar for you on the kitchen counter, the first smile of your day

HENDERY▸ 5:06 a.m

a burst of energy ride to work, brings you freshly squeezed orange juice, plays upbeat music, is overly excited to start the day, points out the sunrise, takes the scenic route bc it makes you happy

KUN ▸ 6:03 a.m

the calm and collected shift lead, greets you with good morning without a fail, goes over the work breakdown with enthusiasm, notices you did something different with your hair, says you’re his best employee

XIAOJUN ▸ 7:09 a.m

a quiet company during work prep, silently takes care of the coffee machinery, counts the money so you don’t have to, soft chuckles when arranging the display pastries, tired gazes, mutual hatred for morning shifts

JOHNNY ▸ 8:00 a.m

the very attractive regular who always gets black coffee, remembers your name, engages in small talk, touches finger tips when you give him his drink, tips $10 every time, wishes you a good day

YANGYANG ▸ 9:10 a.m

always takes up the corner of the shop, scatters his textbooks on two tables, gets awfully shy when you offer him a pastry, pushes his glasses up every three seconds, orders hot chocolate, talks to you when there are no customers in line

TAEIL ▸ 10:13 a.m

asks you for recommendations, holds up the line, compliments the pins on your apron, goes by the alias ‘moon’, is a rewards member, quirky conversations about the weather, hopes to see you tomorrow

JISUNG ▸ 11:01 a.m

the new trainee that nods to everything you teach him, fumbles with the espresso machine, doesn’t talk much, pouts whenever he messes up, thinks you’re the best at explanations, gets nervous when you don’t have the same shifts, admires you deeply

MARK ▸ 12:15 p.m

your break buddy who works next door, smells like pizza dough, shares his slice with you, always thankful that you bring him a drink, funny stories about customers, heavy sighs when break is over, never wants to leave you

CHENLE ▸ 1:00 p.m

the cheerful employee who takes your spot at the end of your shift, screams your name out of pure joy of seeing you, begs you not to go, dramatic wails of disappointment, excitedly waves goodbye over the cash register 

YUTA ▸ 2:05 p.m

works at your local grocery store, helps you get something from the top shelf, throws in a bag of free candy bc he likes you, asks about how you are, gives you store discount, always acknowledges that you smell like coffee, carries your groceries to your car

JUNGWOO ▸ 3:20 p.m

the spunky waiter at your favorite restaurant, always puts your order in before you arrive, beaming smiles the moment you walk through the door, hugs you quickly, thinks you look cute today, ushers you out urgently with a small pat on your head

JAEMIN ▸ 4:03 p.m

cuddles you while you two nap, runs his fingers through your hair gently, forehead kisses, rubs circles on your shoulder, makes sure you fall asleep first, draws you into his side, forgets to set an alarm

WINWIN ▸ 5:30 p.m

misses you during lecture, rolls his eyes when he hands you his notes, grumbles about you owing him snacks, sarcastic jokes about you oversleeping, important due dates, walks you to your next class, attentively listens to your troubles

HAECHAN ▸ 6:12 p.m

takes you out to new restaurants for dinner, orders way too much, gossips about your mutuals, feeds you small spoonful bites, remembers your favorite kinds of foods, jokes playfully about how you have poor taste buds, covers the bill and doesn’t let you pay him back

JENO ▸ 7:07 p.m

the cute club leader who makes announcements, makes an effort to introduce himself personally, firm handshakes, notices you from across the room, very surface level conversations, notable eye smile that makes him even cuter, wants to get to know you better

DOYOUNG ▸ 8:03 p.m

your study buddy who hasn’t left the library since the morning, offers his jacket so you don’t get cold, proudly shows you his full set of completed flashcards, ruffles your hair whenever you rest against the table, clearly claims that he adores you, silently loves your company

JAEHYUN ▸ 9:06 p.m

the familiar handsome stranger who always meets you in the elevator, presses all the floors to spend more time with you, flashes his dimples in hopes to charm you, awkwardly sparks up a conversation, politely asks if you’d want to hang out sometime

TEN ▸ 10:00 p.m

steals you away from your studies to get ice cream, doesn’t hesitate to order your favorite flavor for you, tries to bite from your cone, always tells you to get plenty of rest, playful giggles when he teases you about your love life, wishes you had more time for him

LUCAS ▸ 11:02 p.m

the party animal who never fails to invite you over, respects your decision to not drink tonight, still comically asks you to dance with him, hypes up your awful moves, thinks you’re the most fun to be around, can be himself with you

TAEYONG ▸ 12:00 a.m

the open arms you love coming home to, readily available to hear about your entire day, gets the water started for you, droopy eyes and long yawns, tucks you into bed, holds you until you fall asleep, softly closes your door on his way out, the last smile of your day

[punxsutawneyfilth]

LOLLLL so I’ve told my property manager (who is the landlords mom) a billion times that I don’t want them to send any repair guys or whatever to my apartment when I’m not home bc I’m afraid of my cat getting out ok. So I’ve had a fucking leak in my ceiling ever since I moved in three months ago and they FINALLY “figured out” it’s coming from a pipe above my hallway (I could have guessed that on day one but ok) so they told me yesterday that they want to have the landlord come look at it “sometime soon.” I was like I’m gonna be busy tomorrow Tuesday would be the best day. No response. And then today I was literally about to start changing to head to my meeting when I hear my front door open and the hallway light turns on and my landlord is standing there. Keep in mind this is the first time I’m fucking meeting him because he gets his mommy to do all of his work I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS DUDE IS LOL So I’m like uhhhhhh hi? And he’s like oh I thought you weren’t going to be home and he explains everything and I’m like ok whatever I’m fucking pissed so when he leaves I texted the property manager that they have to TELL ME before people come in and she’s literally like “oh sorry you said you weren’t home and it was an emergency” OKAY

1. IVE TOLD YOU NOT TO SEND PPL IN IF IM NOT HOME FIRST OF ALL

2. YOU SHOULD STILL LET ME KNOW PEOPLE ARE COMING EVEN IF IM NOT HOME IMO THATS LIKE… BASIC INFORMATION I SHOULD RECEIVE

3. LIKE HELL IT WAS A FUCKING EMERGENCY LMAO ARE YOU KIDDING IT HAS LITERALLY BEEN LIKE THAT SINCE IVE LIVED HERE

I’m so FUCKING annoyed like. We BOTH know it was illegal for them to enter without notice, the only reason I even knew they were here is because they assumed me being busy meant I wouldn’t be home, and on top of all that it’s not illegal but it’s definitely a dick move to ignore my wishes about them only coming in if I’m home. This “it was an emergencyyyy” bullshit is just them trying to cover their ass. WHAT good is knowing your rights as a tenant if the landlord is going to do whatever they want anyway? He didn’t even knock on the fucking door

[turinn]

Naive

Ray Blackwell x M!Reader

Summary: An invitation at a party reveals that Luka had no idea you’re gay, and brings up a concern you hadn’t had before. Tags: Crack, fluff, secret relationship, mention of homophobia, alcohol consumption A/N: This is based on a dream I had where Luka and I had this exact conversation and when I woke up and remembered it I nearly threw up laughing. I did actual research for the girls outfit and hair bc im a fashion history nerd. the pocket watch i just thought was cute. Fenrir calls the reader fruity but its okay bc hes gay too god bless Word Count: 1.5k

The party was the usual affair expected of the Godspeed's, an air of elegance- present but not too overbearing- hanging over the large hall. Music drifted gently to your ears as you took everything in, a small smile settling on your face.

You couldn't help but feel a little underdressed. The officers had, of course, kept their uniforms on, but everyone else present was dressed to the nines. You'd thought the suit you wore was lovely when you and Seth had seen it last week, dark blue with a white trim, paired with a pale cyan tie and pocket square. The gold watch that settled comfortably in your pocket had been a gift from Blanc, supposedly made by Oliver to look similar to his own, to commemorate your decision to stay in Cradle. Compared to everyone else, it felt rather simple now, but you pushed the thought aside. Nobody was judging what you were wearing, they were here to enjoy themselves same as you.

"Would you like a drink?" Ray asked, voice soft enough not to startle you too much. This wasn't too effective, as you'd gotten lost in your thoughts, and sort of forgotten there were people around you, but it was kind of him to try. "Oh, yes, please." You smiled at him and a moment later he'd walked off, talking to Sirius about something, leaving you alone with Luka. Fenrir had disappeared to greet his family when you'd first arrived, and Seth was who knows where, but you didn't mind it being just the two of you. Luka rarely came to these, in fact this was the first he'd been to since you'd arrived in Cradle, despite it being your fifth, and you decided someone should stick with him so he didn't feel quite as nervous.

As you turned to say something to him, you noticed a lady making her way over to the both of you, looking rather flustered. Her fists were clenched at her sides, and she seemed to be muttering something to herself, but it was clear she had intent to speak to one of you. Perhaps she wanted to talk to Luka? He was cute, it wouldn't surprise you. What did surprise you, however, was when she walked up to you instead.

"Um, excuse me if this is far too forward, but... would you be interested in dancing with me?" She sounded so nervous, and you almost wanted to say yes. Any other man would have been lucky to get such an invitation- she looked stunning. She wore her hair in curls, gathered at the back of her neck, with a hairpiece of pale blue flowers was pinned at the front, a necklace donning the same type of flower hanging just above the neckline of her gown. The gown in question matched the colour of the flowers well, though the width of the crinoline supported skirt would have made you concerned about the logistics of dancing with her- if you'd had any intention of saying yes. Her cheeks were tinted pink as she chewed her bottom lip and waited for your answer, avoiding your gaze. A hand on your chest and a sincerely apologetic look on your face, you began to respond. "Oh dear. I'm terribly sorry, but you seem to have gotten the wrong end of the stick. You're a very attractive young lady but I'm afraid... how should I put this," You glanced at Luka for help, but he seemed to have no idea what you were trying to tell her, "I'm afraid I don't tend to set my eye on the ladies, so to speak." "You're... gay?" A sympathetic nod. "That's the ticket. Sorry, love." "Oh, it's not a problem! I'm really sorry to have bothered you!" She suddenly looked much less nervous, though a little embarrassed, and scurried off. You sighed. "I feel a little bad. I really hope she finds someone to dance with." Luka looked at you quizzically. "Why did you lie to her?" A confused laugh escaped you. "I'm sorry?" "You told her you were into guys. Why lie?" As he said this, Seth and Fenrir came up behind him, and hearing his question their eyebrows shot up. So did yours. Was he kidding? "Luka, sweetie, you have got to tell me what part of my personality made you think I was heterosexual, so I can set about changing it immediately." Seth choked on his drink, and though you flashed him a grin, you weren't entirely kidding. Going from Victorian London to a world where being gay was perfectly acceptable had been quite the change, but you'd been certain all of your friends had known. It's not like you were quiet about it, and sure, Luka was naive but... come on, now. "Wait are you... you were being honest?" "Yes?" "Luka," Fenrir began, stepping next to you and resting an elbow on your shoulder, "How have you seriously not noticed that he's gay yet?" "Well- there was no reason for me to assume!" "You watched me drunk make out with at least 2 different Black Army soldiers in my first month here!" Luka looked flustered, and utterly dumbfounded. The expression was one he wore often, usually when people insinuated that someone was in love- but somehow about five times more confused. He was unfortunate enough that Ray and Sirius returned at this moment, just in time to hear both your last remark, and his next one.

"I thought that was just something you did when you were drunk?" In another moment you were on your knees, legs shaking so much from laughter that you couldn't hold yourself up any longer. Fenrir was right there beside you, practically convulsing. Everyone else was laughing too- except poor Luka. You felt a little bad, truly you did, but this had to be the funniest thing you had ever heard. "He's completely straight, but watch out! Get a couple drinks in him and he turns fruity!" Fenrir managed to get out between cackles, and Ray was glad to have put your drinks down when Luka had last spoken, because he too nearly fell to the ground at this.

"Luka- Luka I'm sorry." You pulled yourself to your feet, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "We aren't laughing at you." Another fit of giggles overcame you. "Okay we kind of are, but it's not malicious or anything. That was just... hands down the funniest thing you've ever said." It took most of you 5 or so minutes to fully calm down from what he'd said, and anything that jogged your memories of it would bring you back to a state of uncontrollable laughter for the rest of the night. Luka came round to it being pretty funny after you talked him through the dozens of times you'd mentioned your sexuality to him since you'd met- every one of which had gone over his head.

Hours after the party had worn down and you'd all made your way home, you lay in bed, your head pressed against a familiar chest, and sighed. "What's up?" "I just... D'you think anyone else just hasn't realised?" Ray cocked his head, confused. "I'm gonna need a little more info than that, kitten." "I suppose I just... Back in London, it's not even legal to be gay, and I don't know if it ever will be. When I first came out to Fen, he told me that it was fine here, accepted and even celebrated. So, I guess I just thought that people wouldn't make the automatic assumption that I'm straight, y'know? I mean I talk about it a lot among you guys but- when I’m out and about... where do people think my final destination is? When I pick up a silly cat themed gift for you does the shopkeep think I’m buying it for my wife? It shouldn't be a big deal, I guess, but I'd never been able to be myself until I came here, and now it's like I can be me but... people will still only see who I am if I tell them. It's just weird is all. I dunno. Maybe I'm drunk." "You're not drunk. It's an understandable concern. I guess I've never thought about it, because whether or not people would accept that part of me has never been an issue, but the fact that you've had to hide it for so long and now that you're able to be open people still aren't seeing it must be hard. If you want we could... come out, so to speak?" Your eyebrows raised, and you moved back, propping yourself up on your arm so you could look your partner in the eyes.

It had been decided at the very start of your relationship, which had officially begun a few months after you'd made the choice to stay in Cradle, that the two of you would keep it under wraps for a while. Being from the Land of Reason was more than enough reason for people to take an unwanted interest in you, and you didn't need the extra attention being the King of Spades' partner would garner. Plus, anyone with a grudge against Ray would see you as a target the second you announced it. It had been a sensible suggestion on his part, one you hadn't hesitated to agree to, and as far as you knew only Sirius and Fenrir knew about your relationship. Fenrir because he had walked in on you sitting in Ray's lap while he worked late one night, and Sirius because- well, can anything get past that guy? And now, Ray was offering to tell the entirety of Cradle you were his, just so that you didn't feel like you were hiding your identity anymore? You could feel your eyes starting to burn, and you cursed the late hour and the alcohol in your system for making you cry so easily, but... "I don't think we need to be that drastic. You were right when you said it would keep me safe for us to not be in the public eye, at least for now. I'm sure Seth can come up with some better way for me to tell the whole world I'm gay." "I don't doubt that at all." Ray grinned, placing a gentle kiss on first your forehead, then your nose, and finally on your lips. "Tomorrow, though. You need your beauty sleep." "Ah, yeah, can't risk getting ugly. My boyfriend might not want me anymore." You quipped. "Exactly." He smirked at you, turning out the light and pulling you into his arms.

[outsiders-incorrect-quotes]

Same story line as always you the Curtis sister... I recommend reading the other ones to have more of a familiar idea what is going on but its fine if you don't... ENJOY! Pls tell me if you like like these BC i continue to write them but Idk if anyone is enjoying them.STAY GOLD

“Wake up greaser!” Two-Bit said as he jumped on your bed “Heya Two-Bit, what’s going on?” you say tiredly 

“Where’s the rest of them ?” 

“Well Pony and Johnny had a field trip today and they had to leave early for school so Steve, Soda, and Darry went to drop them off then go to work after.”

“What about Dal?”

“Lord knows”

“Well looks like it’s just gonna be you and me Y/N”

“Good deal Two-Bit” 

“You get dressed and I will go start breakfast”

“You got it”

As Two-Bit left the room you got out from under the covers and began making your bed and thinking about how much you really appreciated Two-Bit. You heard the eggs frying on the pan and began getting dressed, you didn’t have much so you took an old DX shirt from Soda’s closet that he said you could have and  a pair of black skinny jeans and combat boots Dal got you for Christmas. 

“Hey Y/N what do you wanna do today?” Two-Bit asked as you walked into the kitchen 

“Not sure… wanna watch Mickey?” you said grabbing 2 plates from the cabinet 

“I got it! Were gonna have my famous Two-Bit days where we do what two-bit does.”

“And what does that consist of Two-Bit?” you said with sarcasm in your voice 

“ Well since your a mighty fine drinker, were gonna have a beer-chugging competition” 

“Ok but we can’t drink to many or Darry is gonna scream our heads off even though your the only one who’s gonna get drunk cause I don’t get drunk”

“Yea yea hand me those plates” 

After handing two-bit the plates you went to see if Mickey was on and luckily it was. Two-Bit put your plate on the coffee table and he sat next to you. You sat in silence for a few minutes with Mickey playing in the background. 

“How are you and Dal doing?”

“Huh,” you said with egg in your mouth 

“ you know we all saw yall kiss in the rain at the movies”. You choked on the eggs that you were about to swallow and then you spit it onto your napkin and wiped your face off. “Yall watched us”

“Maybe” 

“ Two-Bit yall are freaking creepy. Good thing Darry wasnt there” 

“We told him” 

“ What!” you said dropping the plate and began dragging Two-Bit to the ground. “Ima cut your air Two-Bit” 

“Ima cut your air Two-Bit, “ two-bit said in a high pitch voice trying to mock you and rolled out from your grip. You laid on the floor and he was standing above you and said “ we didn’t tell him, just wanted to see you get mad” 

“Damn you Two-Bit,” you said as you sat up and grabbed your plate taking it to the kitchen.

“You are on dish duty,” he said 

“Hand me your plate” 

“Which beer did Darry say your allowed to have” 

“You can pick any, as long as we don’t have more than 6 pack,” you said drying your hands. Two-Bit walked into the living room again and you followed him “ ok on the count of 3 we chug this beer. 1...2...3!” you chugged so fast your were done and you slammed the empty glass on the table and you watched Two-Bit take his last sip “ Beat that Two-Bit!” you said wiping your mouth “ Pretty good Y/N, another round later?”

“You betcha “ 

“Let’s play cards and later we can go find Dal or something” 

“Let’s do it” 

You guys played for what felt like days and decided by lunchtime to go to DX and see what was going on. 

“Hey Two is it cold outside you said walking to your room” 

“Not too bad, but you might want to bring a coat” 

“ Alright thanks,” you said. When you opened your closet barely anything was there. Like you always do you went to Soda’s closet and grabbed a jacket and walked out to the living room where two-bit was putting on his leather jacket. 

“You ready yet?” 

“Yea let’s go… did you bring a car or are we walking?”

“Walking,” he said opening the front door 

As you guys walked you made jokes about people coming by and you guys slashed some Soc’s tires might have been Cherry’s car. You slashed one side and he slashed the other side and then hauled out of there. When you got DX you saw some girl flirting with Soda and he wasn’t having it. He saw you and looked at you with a face saying ’help me’ and you winked at him with one eye and ran up to him and hugged him saying “ hey babe” and he hugged you back and went along with it. The look on that girl’s face “I think that’s enough gas” she said pulling the pump out of her car and driving off. “Thanks, Y/N,” Soda said pulling away from your hug and looing at your outfit up and down “we better buy you some new clothes,” he said putting his arm around your shoulder and walking up to Steve and Two-Bit who were messing around with some broads who probably stopped by to see Soda. “Soda you letting Y/N wear your clothes now,” Steve said 

“Yea what about it?” soda said grabbing a windshield wiper

“Yea what about it?” you said grabbing the windshield wiper out of Soda’s hand and whacking Steve in the head with it. Steve was holding the side of his and then you tackled him to the ground. You were rolling all over the ground tackling him when you put him in a choke hold “ want me to cut your air Steve?” 

“No” 

“Then say it dont matter” 

“Hell no”

" the im cut your-" 

"Hey there y/n" you heard from behind you. It was Dal. You got really fast and ran to him then jumping up and wrapping your legs around his back. Before you could say anything you guys were kissing infront of all of them. In the middle of you guys kissing your hear all the boys making smooching sounds with their back turned to you guys hugging themselves while moving their hands up and down their back. Dal let go of u quietly and picked the windshield wiper off the floor whacking each one of them in the back of the head with it. You laughed as the all turned around in pain and surprise. " when yall plan on telling Darry" Soda asked snatching back the windshield wiper from Dal. " do we have to?" You wined " unless you want him to find out the hard way" steve interrupted " I will find a right time to do it" you said

" listen me a Soda got to get back to work" Steve said walking towards a car he was working on before you and Two-Bit got there.You gave Soda a hug and waved him good bye. Two-Bit, Dal, and you walked around for a bit before Dal said "the sky's getting dark pretty soon im gonna have to go" 

" where you off to" you asked 

" gonna go see Tim" he said 

" see u tomorrow" You said giving him a hug 

" take care of her Two-Bit and layoff of her otherwise i will have your panties in a twist" Dal warned him 

Two laughed and waved as Dal walked into an alley. On your way home you stopped by the dingo to get some dinner for everyone when they came home. 

When you got home you set everything down and set the table. " when is everybody getting home?" Two-Bit asked " i think around 5:30" you said looking at the clock " about an hour til, we can watch Mickey and have a drink till they get here" you said smiling " good thinking" he said walking to the fridge grabbing 2 beers. You both sat and watched mickey slowing sipping on the beer. You leaned your head on his should with the beer in your hand. " Two-Bit?" 

" yea y/n" 

" have I ever told you I love you like a brother" 

" have i ever told you I love you like a sister" 

A warm feeling rushed over your body as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder 

" if you ever need anything two, im here for you if you need me" 

" same to you y/n" he said as he lightly cheered your beer 

From outside the window your heard sniffles. " the hell was that" you say as you open the blinds to see Soda and Steve hugging and pretending to wipe tears of their eyes. You got up closed the blinds and locked the front door. " yall can come in when Darry gets home in an hour" you say while looking into the window. "Hope it ain't cold out" Two- Bit yelled as you sat back down next to him.

[oppabimbab]

chasing euphoria | jeon jungkook

genre : angst, smut(only a little)

parts : 1/2

pairing : jungkook x reader

synopsis : you didn’t see it coming when jungkook confessed that he likes you. how can you expected that coming when he is the person that your best friend is in love with? no matter what happens; you can’t be in love with him so it ends with rejection from you to him. but why does some kind of spark starts to twinkle in your heart, especially when he is no longer making his way, to you?

words count : 3683 words

side note : i literally questioned myself why am i doing with this fanfic???lmaoo sorry if its bad because i just write what comes in my mind bc im bored. lol im dead

✻ Fanfics Archive ✻

“Jungkook, har-harder,” you whimper, arching your back as he pumps inside you with so much force while spreading your legs as wide as he could. You hold on to both of his arms at your sides for support as your body bounce on the bed—looking like a hot mess as ever. He grunts before lowering his body on top of you to suck on your neck like a greedy beast—very unlike of him off bed.

“Tell me how you want me to do with this pussy?” he whispers, planting sloppy and wet kisses along the neck—causing you to moan louder when he found the sweet spot, both in your pussy and neck. It’s crazy how he can send you to another type of universe just by his mouth and hands. You almost lose your vision when Jungkook pushes himself to hit your all with the tip of his cock like tomorrow doesn’t exist. A gush of air escape your lungs, leaving you breathless.

“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” you cry out loud along with moan escaping your dry mouth, making him chuckle. Taking your breast into his mouth, he begins to synchronise his thrust along the sloppy sucking move on your chest. A trail of groans and grunt leave his mouth—looking straight into your eyes whenever he has the chance to do so. His eyes, they are flaming with desire and love. What a perfect combination. Your legs tremble a lot, wanting to cum around his cock so much while chanting his name that never leaves your system. To ease the tense, you wrap them around his waist—nails clawed into his muscular arms. For real, all you wanted is to keep moaning his name for the world to know how good he makes you feel.

“Jungkook! Jungkook!” You scream, filling the air with nothing but moan and his name. The bed creaks as his pace quickened for both of you to reach the climax together.

“I like you,” he whispers with eyes striking into yours. Butterflies in your stomach starts to build when his honeyed voice fills your system. Arched back, eye contact, you try to process the words even you know you have lost your mind the moment he stares at you like his life depends on it. He is fucking hot and gorgeous.

“So much,” Jungkook grunts, thrusting into you for the last time before you cum around him—few second before he fills himself inside you as he collapse on top of you, kissing you for millionth times.

The tingly skin and thumping chest make your wild dream disappears in a blink of eyes as you open your eyes, along with the sweat dripping on the forehead. The quiet and dark room, only a hint of light that escaped from the moon, makes you realise you’ve been dreaming the same shit again. Including tonight, It’s third time this week and you don’t know why the hell you have been dreaming about Jungkook fucking you in some kind of way you have no idea about.

Especially when you have made it clear to him—you’re not having the same feeling as he does, toward you. You flinch when you can feel the sudden wetness is pooling down to your core—sensitive and throbbing, because of him. Slowly, you curl up to make the itchy feeling go away.

It has been a week ever since that day happened. Actually, you’re not sure how long has it been but the thing is, you know for sure how long has it been since both of you stopped talking to each other like you guys always did. It feels like forever and you wonder why you couldn’t get him off your mind from that day.

Hugging your knees, closer to your chest—you start to reminisce the way his eyes gleamed at yours—the way his voice sounded like a sugar coated candy. The way those words came out from his mouth— Something you had expected the least from him ever since you laid your eyes on that man.

“I like you. Like a lot,” Jungkook spoke, breaking the short and comfortable silence between both of you as he looked at you, who was munching on the tiny bit of chocolate croissant that you stole from him.

The time seemed like it has froze around you—the street light looked like it was going to fade—the cold breeze of that night felt like burning your skin, rushing the hot blood straight to your face— your feet, they didn’t feel like it touched the ground because you for sure knew you were not in the reality.

Everything became weird and leaving you and him—staring at each other for a few seconds before you blinked at him, with a small giggle escaped your lips.

“What did you say?” you raised an eyebrow as you tried so hard to sound like you didn’t hear him well enough when everything was crystal clear. For some reason, you needed to hear him twice. You needed to hear him wrong.

“You heard me,” his voice didn’t sound light, it was more intense and serious—dead serious as his darkened gaze strike straight into your soul. Even with the little fear, you managed to stare at him back—looking at his beautiful dark brown orbs under the dim street light along with the long lashes complimenting his eyes.

You know Jungkook speaks louder with his eyes and when you saw there was a sparkle in those eyes—he was telling the truth which left you speechless. He was dead serious. He likes you. He fucking likes you. When did that happen? Why did this happen?

You froze on your seat the moment you caught his gaze while trying to swallow the remaining piece of that sweet thing in your throat. It was supposed to be sweet but why did it taste bitter? The hot frappuccino in your hand was left untouched as you looked at him—forcing yourself to process the words even you have lost a piece of your mind.

“Jungkook...” you let a small squeak after few seconds of silent stare to each other. His name sounds familiar in your mouth—completely dropping the honorifics when both of you are away from office. Breaking the eye contact, you looked away from his dangerous eyes. Looking anywhere but him. Your chest—it felt like it was going to burst anytime soon. He hums, staring at you with so much hope.

“Why? Why do you like me?” you added. A very cliche question, almost sound like an amateur high school girl, who had 0 experience in love but for real, you wanted to know why this gorgeous man had his heart for you. You wanted to know why even you know it wasn’t supposed to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way.

Jungkook re-positioned himself on the cold bench in the park, looking at the direction you were looking—you can see a soft smile appeared on his lips from the corner of your eyes.

“Just like others, I like the physical first,” his voice fills the space.

“You’re beautiful. Damn beautiful,” he added—more like whispering. You bit your lower lip at the words. The way he uttered them, you didn’t know that words would sound ethereal and sexy like this. His words—they felt like his touch. It left tingly feeling under your skin.

“But, I like what’s inside you even more. Quirky, bright, funny, dorky,” he chuckled as he brought his gaze to you—looking at you from the side.

“I don’t know but I like you so much. I want you to know that,” he whispered—not going to lie, you knew there were a hint of hopes in his voice when he spoke. You knew he wanted more from you from the way he caught your eyes. For some reason, you knew nothing would change even he chanted thousand I love you’s.

“Thank you. I appreciate it so much,” you cocked your head to the side and met his eyes. Swear to god, they lost the spark the moment you spoke the words. Jungkook was a bright man, for sure he knew what you meant. With just few lines, he should knew that nothing would go far from this.

He stared at your eyes—more like reading them like a journal. Just like the sweet gentleman he is, he nodded with a soft smile. A small faded smile.

“I wish I knew the reason why,”

“I can’t return the same thing. I’m sorry,”

“I understand,” he nodded. Both of you stared at each other without any words or sound. Just 2 pair of eyes speaking to each other.

“I envy the man who gets your heart,” he scrunched his nose before chuckling—more like a bland giggle to hide the pain in his voice. One thing for sure—he never take his eyes off you. You smiled at him, apologetically.

“I’m sorry,”

When the night passed, both of you spent the night with nothing but silences. The silences that almost killed you inside especially when he sent you home, that was the last time you met his eyes before he drove away, leaving you with an unknown broken heart.

After 3 years of graduating from college and only few months since you started your career—you didn’t know Jungkook would be the first person you would see after leaving those memories of college behind. Well, you can’t say you are that close with him in college days but you are definitely are familiar with him even for sure he has no idea about your existence.

Your best friend, Chaeyoung, loved him. Or still loves him. You still remember the nights where she spent just to talk about how gorgeous Jungkook is—who was one of the hottest senior student council in the college. How her voice reached few octaves when she saw him doing the bare minimum like breathing or walking to the classes—how she squeals like a little girl every time he smiled, even it was definitely not because of her.

Not to forget the way she bawled her eyes off all night when Jungkook graduated—which means no more squealing and screaming every time she sees him.

Everything about her first love experience was childish and interesting to you. Well, both of you and her, were too young to know what is love.

Love is indeed making someone crazy. Chaeyoung loved him so much even after graduating, she didn’t have the courage to let him know that. Even leaving to Canada for her work, she buried the feelings just like that. Deep inside, after few years have passed, you are positive she still feels the same toward him, knowing how loyal she can be sometimes.

The fact you didn’t tell her when you got to work in the same company with him—shows how deep your fear is. You don’t want her to think anything more than this. After 7 months working here—Jungkook is such a great senior to you. He has been that kind of person who would listen more than talk. He let you talk as he looks at you—trying to understand the each words that come out from your mouth. He is bad at making jokes but he makes you laugh with his smallest gesture. The way his eyes caught yours during meeting—cocking his eyebrow to make you confused what the hell is he trying to do. The way he speaks to you—he finds the best words knowing the relationship you both shared is nothing more than just a boss and an amateur worker. You are not complaining. You love the boundary between you and him because you don’t plan to go any further than this. You can’t go any further than this.

In times, when both of you didn’t notice the changes, the relationship becomes closer and affectionate where he would casually ask you out for lunch, dinner or sometimes, a night date at your favourite park. You wouldn’t call it a date but somehow, you realise something has changed between you two. The way the conversation becomes longer than usual—the way his laugh sounds more genuine than he sounds like before— the way his eyes caught yours everytime you talk about your day.

For some reason, you find that being with him is the most comfortable moment for you.

You wonder—what is this? When did this bond happened? When did it comes from only knowing his image from your best friend to completely know his favourite movie and food? Why are you here instead of Chaeyoung? Nobody sees this coming—especially you.

Now, when that unknown relationship starts to build between you and him—it is scattered just like that. In a blink of eyes. Just in a night.

He likes you. That sounds like a dream. More like a dream that you thought will never comes true. You know for the fact that he is a one gorgeous man. The girls would swoon over him every time both of you go out for a business lunch. You can see how many women seemed star strucked every time he flashes that smile when he comes to the office, looking so damn hot in the suit and cases.

After all these years, you finally understand why Chaeyeong was completely head over heels for years—for him.

Taking your phone from the desk, you stare at the notification bar. A heavy sigh leaves your mouth when there is no text from him. It has been a week and don’t know why it kills you inside. The lifestyle has completely changed. There is no more small smile that you both would steal from each other every time you go to his department.

There is no casual talk that would light up the space every time the work stresses you too much. It has been a week—with you avoiding him—with him avoiding you. Eye contacts were stolen but his eyes left you unspoken when he quickly looks away from your eyes.

But, for real, it should be like this. You can’t be in love with him. It really should be like this.

***

You stretch out lazily on the chair after 3 hours of cramping your ass—organizing the documents for next month’s event. A small whimper leaves your mouth as you glance over the clock on the table. It’s already past 1pm, the only answer to why your stomach is screaming for food. Well, you skipped breakfast this morning as you were running late—thanks to the late night thoughts that have been keeping you awake all night. Screw this shit. You don’t know how long will it take for you to brush the thoughts away completely.

“Hey, are you coming?” Wendy, your desk mate disturb your thoughts as she sits on your table—looking at you while swiping the burgundy lipstick all over her lips.

You frown at her.

“To where?” you ask. Wendy raises her eyebrow.

“To company lunch? It’s Jaehyun’s birthday. He is treating everyone today,” she winks before putting the lipstick into her bag—smoothing the pencil skirt that have been complimenting her gorgeous curves. She looks at you as if she wants you to get ready and go with her.

The thing is—you don’t feel like going. No grudge towards Jaehyun though but everyone knows how close Jungkook and Jaehyun are. Of course, he will be there too. That means, you’re going to spend another few hours, avoiding his existence? The best solution is not going. Case solved.

“I think i’m going to grab some sandwich and coffee instead. I’ve told him I don’t feel well,” you crack a small smile at the blonde girl—praying that she won’t notice the slight changes in your behaviour these past few days. Wendy comes closer and touch your forehead with a concern expression all over her face.

“Do you want to go to hospital?”

You scoff at yourself. Of course, hospital for messy mind.

“No, thank you babe. Quick nap and food, i’m going to be okay,” putting the documents aside, you pat Wendy’s back and urge her to leave or she will miss the birthday lunch. Wendy giggles.

“Sure. Call me if you need anything, baby girl,” she pats your chin before clanking the 5-inches heels on the marble floor—leaving you alone in the office. You look around. Almost empty during lunch hours, making you choose nothing but to go out to get your quick sandwich and coffee. You swear to god, where the hell the energy go? Somehow, you have lost it and it’s not very professional to let this personal matter to interrupt your whole mood.

With heavy steps, you grab your purse and leave the office to go get something to eat. Quick sandwich because you don’t feel like eating.

When you arrived at the usual cafe, the cafe looks busier than usual—leaving you standing at the side, frustrated. But, whatever. The screaming inside your stomach is going wilder and you don’t want to spend another few hours with empty stomach before you eat your first meal of the day which is dinner. Life is hard but not to extent to ruin your body.

As the crowd have gone calm a bit, you immediately bring yourself in the order line at the counter while looking at the menu.

But, your eyes catch someone—who looks very familiar. Too familiar and you thought you could avoid him today but God plays no games with you. He is here—only few centimetres apart.

It’s Jungkook—standing in front you, handing a card to the cashier. When he notices someone is staring, he slowly tilts his head, just to look back to your eyes—that are fixed on him. It’s definitely weird to see him this way after the rejection. It’s odd to look at him this long after these past few days—ignoring each other.

“Hi,” he squeaks, loud enough just for you to hear. When you hear his voice, a sudden adrenaline starts to pump inside you. Not sure why but there is a sudden excitement just by looking at him this way. You’re crazy. You know.

“Hi,” you crack a small smile, curling your mouth into thin line, adjusting the way you stand before you tell the order to the barista. Slowly, you look back to him.

“I thought you are going to Jaehyun’s birthday lunch,” you break the silence when you notice he doesn’t look like he has any topic to talk about. He raises an eyebrow before he chuckles and shakes his head.

“Then, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to join too?” he asks—looking at your order on the counter. You shrug.

“I don’t really well so sandwich it is,” you manage to put on a grin even deep inside, both of you know how awkward this conversation sounds like. It doesn’t feel right but none of you know how to make it right.

The expression on his face changes slightly. You wonder why.

“Are you okay?” his voice—there is a hint of concern, which is leaving you with nothing but a small gush of excitement.

You nod.

“I’m fine,” you convince him. He curls his lips into thin line—making his small dimple comes to sight. How can this man be hot and cute at the same time? You take the food on the counter, waiting for him to say anything but it leaves you to no avail. Only silences.

“I have to go. See you around,” when he put the card back into his wallet, he cocks his head to you as he looks like he is rushing back. You smile at him, wanting to open your mouth to say something before you hear someone calls his name.

You look at the direction. There is a woman—almost as tall as you, looking so petite and pure—like how first love would look like. Short hair, bright eyes, angelic smile—what else? She looks so damn beautiful, you can’t deny.

Jungkook immediately looks at her—his face changed. You saw that. It lights up with some kind of expression you have no idea what it looks like but you haven’t seen them before.

You freeze on your feet—still staring at the woman with so much adoration. It’s weird because you know something isn’t right but you choose to ignore the way how happy she looks like when Jungkook looks at her. Then, you finally understand something.

“I see. You’re on date,” you chuckle at him—sending him a teasing smile even for sure, you know your heart isn’t in that state to do so. You’re not sure why you’re chuckling when your heart definitely is clenching at the thought.

Jungkook gives you a small smile as he rubs his nape.

“Not really, just a quick lunch,” he utters, meeting your eyes. Those eyes—goddamn beautiful. You don’t know you have been missing them until today.

“Have a nice day,” you squeak for the last time as you bid him goodbye before you grab the food’s bag tightly in your hands—turning your back to him, you count the steps to leave the cafe. He doesn’t call you—your expectation is ruined. But, on what reason for him to stop you from leaving? There is nothing to say anyway. Every steps—feel like something is throbbing a knife to your chest.

How bold were you to think, that perfect man couldn’t find someone better after you gave such a rejection? A rejection from you was nothing. From the moment you knew him, you are already out of his league and the fact that he said he likes you—might be a mistake. A stupid mistake he shouldn’t do.

How can the small excitement that happened few moments ago—is replaced by this unknown disappointment and heart break that you have no idea about.

Of course, he could find someone better—he should find someone better.

Quickened the steps, you want to know why your heart hurts a lot at the thought. Your heart clenches at the image of that woman—at the image how his face lights up when he saw her.

It hurts even more when deep inside, you know you want him to lay his eyes—only on you.

To be continued in the last part