#ill explore this a little more later maybe

[imabsolutelyticketyboo]

“We both get plenty of use out of it, don't we?”

i wrote a lil ficlet of under 300 words and posted it on ao3!

NSFT, ADULTS ONLY

Summary:

The two totally-not-lovebirds are standing outside the bookshop, by the Bentley and discussing how Aziraphale will execute his little detective adventure.

Crowley gets reminded of things...

read here:

[gu6chan]

My hot Drakengard take of the day is that after playing it for like 110 hours and counting im very much convinced that ppl who still complain about the gameplay being a "slog" just aren't playing the game correctly. you can hate me for this but you will not change my mind

[kyseya]

Ancient Mummy

Imagine working as an archaeologist for a museum. However things hasn’t been going so well lately and there are hardly any visitors during opening hours. Sadly, you’ll be forced to close multiple exhibitions and if conditions are not met, the entire museum might have to shut down.

But by some miracle, a new tomb has been discovered in Egypt; undisturbed, unexplored and completely untouched by humans for centuries. It’s said to be the grave of an ancient king- a pharaoh- who was betrayed and murdered by his own cousin.

It’s the perfect opportunity! Maybe you’ll find something that can bring back interest and by extension, save the museum.

You go along with a few other colleagues to the site in Egypt. The journey was a bit tough but it was a hindered percent worth it. With avid curiosity you explore alone and with the others, the different things to find inside the tomb; artifacts and additional discoveries. It’s all very interesting. Wanting to save the best for last, you finally get an in-person look at the grave itself- the sarcophagus.

You have already heard the main tale of the pharaoh within, so you are a little surprised that there is more to the story than you previously believed.

Over the entire stone coffin were multiple hieroglyphs, each one helping and becoming a story together. Your collegue read some inscriptions and told you a basic summary of what it’s about.

Centuries ago there was a king. He had a wife whom he adored more than anything. She was provided with riches, glory and honour. There was nothing he wouldn’t accomplish for her. The people saw the care he held for his wife and therefore both respected and feared her as well, since any ounce of rudeness might end up with their heads spiked on a pole. It was a punishment fitting for those who dare disrespect his queen.

Unfortunately tragedy struck- a disease, more specifically. It took the lives of many and left whole villages empty. That hardly mattered to the pharaoh though, all his focus went to his ill wife; she, too, had been snatched by death. Up until the moment of her demise the pharaoh spent all day and all night at her side, attentively worrying about her needs. When she was gone he was ruined. He didn’t eat, he didn’t sleep, he didn’t even have the energy to clean himself. What was the point? His beloved was gone so there wasn’t really anything left for him.

It was after this that everything took a turn. It appeared that the king had enough with laying around and decided to do something. There were records of him behaving strangely- even by ancient standards- and drabbling in dark magic. He was later overthrown by his brother, who ordered him to be buried alive. It was quite the terrifying penalty go give one’s sibling. The brother didn’t want the darkness to spread out into the world from the old pharaoh, so he locked him inside the sarcophagus and sealed him far away.

What a tragic story, you thought. Well it was back in the old times and a lot of things were practiced then that aren’t okay in modern day. You suppose it wasn’t the most horrible incident that have happened.

It hadn’t been long since your colleague told you the backstory of the tomb and its inhibitor, but now the others wants to get to the good part and open up the stone coffin. You don’t think it’s the best idea in the world- of course something like this needs to be examined closely and so on, but there is something special about the tomb.

Ever since you’ve arrived, you have had a strange feeling following you around. It’s hard to explain. You feel almost drawn to the sarcophagus or perhaps it’s because it feels as if it is looking back at you. You tried ignoring it, however, the feeling came back stronger than ever the moment the others began preparing to open it up.

You should have told them of your concerns. If you did, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

The first few seconds after opening it everything was fine. All was as it should be; people flocking around to see the discovery and fawn over it while being mindful of its fragility. Then it changed. Your colleague who had been the closest had suddenly been strangled by the thin, dirty arm belonging to none other than the ancient corpse that previously had been resting in death. Everyone was silent as her face turned blue from the lack of oxygen. It was only after she fell to the floor dead that people began panicking. It was hard to process what had just happened, after all.

There was chaos.

Folk ran around like chickens fleeing from a fox that’d managed to get inside the coop. In a way, that was exactly what was going on, though. You had watched as the mummified corpse sat right up and climbed its way out of the cold coffin. It stumbled on its bony legs and quickly found a cornered man and approached him. He screamed when the mummy grabbed ahold of his face and brought it before its own. The creature started sucking the life out of the man- literally.

The man who had previously been a healthy and active person was now shrivelled up like a raisin. His face was dry and wrinkled. He died soon afterwards, only a soft wheeze leaving his lips as he passed.

The opposite seemed to happen to the former-corpse, though. It attacked more and more people and for every kill, it appeared to revert to its original state- a man, pharaoh of an ancient kingdom. The flesh grew back and filled up in the right places and he seemed human again.

How can that be? He had been dead for centuries. Although, just about everything was pretty fucked up in this moment, so his make-over is the least important factor.

You backed into a corner. Your eyes followed the mummy’s every move, it was impossible to look away. There was hardly anyone left apart from you. The one person that was still there was getting attacked by the monster and it wasn’t long until they were reduced to nothing.

Now it was just you and the creature, and it appeared it knew that too.

It turned to look at you. The mummy had now completely reverted back into a man and he was nothing short of breathtaking(and very naked, but you tried not to think about it). It pained to to admit it but it was the truth. He was easily the most handsome man you’d ever laid eyes on. His long, dark hair flowed when he stalked towards you. Despite his outer beauty, you couldn’t forget what you’d just witnessed him do.

Trembling, you pressed yourself against the wall. “Stay away.” you weakly mumbled.

‘This is it. My time is over.’

You closed your eyes in fear and braced yourself for the pain that would undoubtedly come; only it didn’t. Instead of death, a hand grazed your cheek. It was a light touch, one reserved for something valuable and fragile.

A raspy voice talked, “…My love..it is you..”

You had no idea what he said, it sounded like an ancient language. You had studied hieroglyphs but did not know anything about what speech might’ve sounded like. You decided to be brave and slightly opened your eyes.

The mummy was staring at you, but there was no malice or hatred in his expression. In fact, the only emotion you could find on his face was amazement, shock and….love? No, that can’t be. This is not some ‘lovers reunited’ situation.

“How can this be? Death took you and left me all alone- not that I hold you accountable, of course. I know you would never seek to hurt me.” the mummy kept muttering to himself. “Perhaps….the magic worked after all?”

His face brightened and he smiled gently at you. Whilst he happily went on about something, you became more confused than earlier. What the hell was going on? He committed multiple murders in one swoop and now, suddenly, he is acting like you’re friends talking about your day. He isn’t even human! Or at least not anymore, not really.

You voiced this opinion weakly, “Ummm, could you let me go?” You tried pulling away from his touch, uncomfortable at his caresses.

His brows furrowed at your reaction. From the look of it, he didn’t understand you any better than you did him. He focused at the subtle way you attempted to peel his hand off your arm. You let out a yelp when his arms snaked around your waist and he pulled you into his embrace.

He leaned down and whispered into your ear, petting your hair at the same time. “Wife, why do you seem unhappy at my presence? I do not understand. Are you not joyous at our reunion? I love you so, I cannot comprehend any reason why you would not wish to see me.”

Even if you didn’t know what he was saying, you could hear the sadness in his voice. The pain and desperation. No! You couldn’t feel sad for him. He had murdured multiple of your colleagues, he’s evil! Although, why hasn’t he killed you yet? It’s very strange indeed.

The mummy continued, “I can sense things are not as they used to be. Things are different now. Although I do not know the extent of it. However I am most certain of one thing; I have miraculously been reunited with my love and I do not plan on letting you fall through my grasp again.”

He held you in an almost suffocating hug.

“I shall make you my queen once more.”

[kurokawaia]

❛ RUN, BABY. RUN ❜

Yandere! Sanzu Haruchiyo X Fem!Reader

WC; 4k+ | !MDNI! 18+ | TW/CW :: OVERALL WARNINGS Yandere themes dark content, inexperienced!reader, timid!shy!reader, pet names 'baby' 'doll' + more, drugs (sanzu's part), alcohol, clubs, age gap -> reader is implied to be around 20-22, reader is described to be shorter than Sanzu, smut, nsfw, piv, no protection, begging, rough sex? missionary, oral -> female receiving, male receiving, doggy, marking, possessive, possession, restriction, kidnapping?, biting? eventual predator play, based on the song runrunrun by dutch melrose + more

⋆·˚ ༘ *𝒮𝒴𝒩𝒪𝒫𝒮𝐼𝒮 :: meeting Sanzu in that club and accepting that one offer to dance with him, that was when you should've said no, then maybe, you wouldn't be in this situation you are in now.

HONEY'S A/NOTE :: not as dark as i wanted it to be but ill edit it later to make it rlly dark for all you dark romance girlies!!

m.list | tokyo revengers m.list - PART 1 / PART 2

Sanzu watches you and he can feel his heart thumping faster looking at your sweet, innocent face. He can't wait to ruin you. "Impressed?" he asks, though he most definitely knows the answer. Nodding your head. "It's... incredible."

He hums in approval, his arm still wrapped around your waist as he pulls you inside. The elevator ride up to the penthouse is quick, just a little too quick before you know it, the doors slide open into an open, plan sprawl that's all clean lines, dark wood, and floor-to-ceiling windows that look out onto the city below. The view's breathtaking but your attention is quickly pulled back to Sanzu. A ding and then the door closes behind you two, leaving just the two of you.

You wonder what he did for work, this penthouse looks really expensive... You couldn't even fathom what his job is because his hair colour, hairstyle, and how many piercings he has would make it hard for him to find a job, would it not?

All of a sudden, your back is flush against the wall next to the elevator, Sanzu pinning your arms beside your head, his hands gripped tight around your wrists. And then, his lips brush against yours. It's a soft gentle peck before his tongue pushes past your lips and you gasp.

You melt into him as you kiss him back. His lips move slowly against yours, almost cherishing every moment, every touch. But even through the sweetness, you can feel it, the hunger simmering just beneath the surface. His hands grip your waist a little tighter, his breathing hitched as he deepens the kiss. Sanzu leans backward just a fraction, his forehead against yours as he takes a breath. "You're something else," he says in a whisper. His fingers brush a strand of hair off your face before trailing down your neck. For a second, you really think that's all it's going to be- just soft kisses and touching. Then, though, his hand slides to the back of your neck, and he pulls you in again, his lips capturing yours with more intensity this time. 

There's still a sweetness to it, but he's clearly been holding back. His kiss grows urgent, insistent, as if he is losing control of the restraint that he has been desperately trying to apply. Your back presses against the cool wall as he cages you in, the slow and deliberate touch of his hands exploring your body. You feel the heat radiate off him, the way his breathing gets heavier, his body pressing closer still against yours. 

As his lips trail down your neck, sending shivers coursing through your body, you can't help but want to see what happens when that control finally slips as he picks you up, takes you to his room and throws you onto his bed. Before you knew it he was on top of you, white shirt unbuttoned, pink and purple dress pants loosely on his hips

He was distracting your sight, making sure that your eyes were solely focused on his own. Sanzu is making sure that your innocent, pretty doe eyes don't look to his bedside table, let alone how the floor looked on the right side. Drugs and empty alcohol bottles were scattered everywhere.

Bottles on the floor, pills and cocaine on the bedside table.

Not to mention the discarded handguns on the floor, he didn't know how many were there but he didn't want you to lay your eyes upon them. Sanzu just hopes that after this you don't decide to go snooping around because if you did you'd find a lot more things that a normal person should not possess. 

He will make sure you stay oblivious. 

You're his now.

A whimper falls past your lips, and Sanzu is on the verge of going absolutely feral and manic. You sound so pure. He wants to break you slowly, so desperately, but he can't. Sanzu wants to do it now. Your arms push together and your breasts push together as your hands grip his unbuttoned shirt, mounds on the verge of spilling out your mini dress. 

Sanzu lets a free hand trail lower, his first and second fingers hooking under your strapless dress, pulling the top down your chest revealing your plain black strapless bra. Pulling away from the kiss, Sanzu almost loses it, your breasts are beautiful (he can't wait to mark them up, is what he really means).

Your back is still arched from the heated kiss, Sanzu moves down, placing soft, gentle kisses down your jaw to your collarbone, slowly, leaving red marks in their wake. During this, Sanzu unclips your bra with one skilled hand, slender fingers unclipping the clasp.

A gasp leaves your lips, your nails on the verge of breaking the expensive cotton blend. "W-Wait..." you stutter out quietly, and you were surprised that he could even hear you by the way his lips left your neck, his green iris gazing deeply into yours.

A deep hum reverberates in his throat, causing you to nibble on your bottom lip. "What you need, Doll?" he says low against your skin and you let out a sigh at how warm the contact is.

"I haven't..." You began slowly before stopping yourself and Sanzu's eyes widened. He knew you were innocent but he was about to lose it if you were a virgin.

"Done anything like this in a while..." you continue and Sanzu sighs in relief mentally. 

Thank fuck you weren't a virgin (he didn't want to break you too much... but he would've loved for you to be his from the very beginning) Sanzu would just have to make sure that you don't think about anyone but him, making sure you forget about any of your past fucks.

"You don't have to worry, doll," he murmurs agasint your neck before trailing kisses down your stomach, sucking longer on the skin exposed above your underwear and you shiver under his touch, a hand entangling within his pink locks. "You tell me when to stop."

A shaky breath leaves your mouth. "Okay," you whimper, biting on your bottom lip as you look down to see your thighs already pulled over Sanzu's shoulders.

Your head was thrown back against the pillow so suddenly that Sanzu's nose bumped agasint your covered clit. A whimper leaves your lips, thighs tightening around his head before veiny hands spread them far apart, and your back arched, you had nowhere to go.

"F-Fuck," you whimper out.

A whimper leaves your mouth when he places a kiss on your clit and your thighs clench around his head. You attempt to arch away from the overwhelming sensation but Sanzu's grip keeps you in place. A satisfied sigh seeps through him into your folds as a mewl from your full lips.

He pulls your underwear to the side, licking a long stripe up your folds and you moan, your back arching and your cunt pressing further into his face which he relished in. Sanzu moans into your folds, the vibrations reverberating throughout your cunt and you tremble.

His tongue climbs up from your wet hole to your clit while you let out a moan. Your thighs try to  tighten around his head but couldn't as a result of his constriction, and as you grind down on his face, a moan echoes through your clit. Your lips were filled with chants of his name, and he relished every moment of it.

"Haru... f-feels s' good," you moan, tears welling in your lash line, he was making you feel so good.

"I've got you, doll," Sanzu says, making sure to relish in your taste, wanting to etch the flavour in his brain.

When you feel a finger push past your closing walls, your eyes expand, and you cry with delight. It felt so fantastic that you never wanted it to finish, even though you thought you would break because of how much pleasure was crossing through your veins.

His finger pressed up against that soft spot inside your walls. Sanzu was slow with his pace as he curled his fingers every time he entered your cunt, along with sucking and licking at your puffy, sensitive clit.

"You're taking it so well..." Sanzu moans against you, refusing to rut his hips into the mattress.

He wants to break you.

He's being to nice, he can't take it any longer.

A moan arouses from you and your hips grind themselves onto his face. He let you for once have some sort of control over the situation, and he decided that if you came quicker he'll let you do it more often. "That's it," he praised.

His motions become more rapid and needy as you cry his name through broken letters, and the one hold he held on your leg tightens. Your stomach coil tightened, and your fingers wrapped around his locks to stop him from moving and make him sigh deeper into your folds.

The only thing the groans did was push you over the edge, and when he placed his tongue firmly against your clit, a quiet scream from your lips. Your stomach coil unwound, soaking his face completely.

He slowly removed his fingers from your drenched pussy, your cum spilling out from your puffy folds. Before rising his head, he places a kiss on your clit and your mewl softly in overstimulation.

"I'm not done yet, Baby," he growls, smashing his lips against yours, a hand wrapping around your throat and you gasp while tasting yourself on his tongue before he roughly flips you over, your breasts and stomach pressed against the mattress. 

Then you felt a heavy, throbbing tip press against your clit and you moaned from the small touch. You tried to squirm away from the pleasurable cause but couldn't as Sanzu knew your body more than you did yourself, he knew you were gonna try to run from his body due to the pleasure. So, he pressed his weight against you once more.

You held your breath when Sanzu sank his throbbing cock into your spongey walls, his length getting squeezed by every ridge within your soaked cunt. A moan left both of your mouths as Sanzu's length nudged the deepest spot within you.

"Look how you take me in," Sanzu grunts. "Such a good little slut." You sigh in pleasure at the degradative praise.

But he didn't move, he wanted to relish in on how you desired to cause friction, desired to move against his touch, but couldn't. Sanzu's cock, prodded so deep in your gummy walls that you whimpered in pleasure, but that didn't stop him from not moving. He was still snug inside.

Hot and heavy kisses trail down from your ear down to the dip of your neck to shoulder and a breathless sigh escaped your parted lips before Sanzu rolled his hips into yours. A moan slips out of your mouth, his thick length scraping all the sensitive parts of your warm insides.

Sanzu's knees spread your legs apart so that any advances from you ensured that they would be shut down, so that you remained situated below him, your pretty body that paled in comparison to his big frame. As he expected, you couldn't move from his trapping embrace.

His movements became faster, his cock thrusting into the depths of my needy hole as strained moans and whines left your throat. Sanzu was panting in your ear and an occasional deep groan slipped past his lips, the sounds which made your cunt flutter tightly around his length.

Sanzu was filling you up to the hilt, his throbbing pink tip hitting that soft, gummy spot in your cunt that caused you to scream out in fulfilment. "I know baby, I'm listening," He breathed, causing you to let out a moan and sigh, body shaking with pleasure. "Found it haven't I?" Sanzu smirked.

Your body tried to arch away from the pleasure, not being able to take the strong rolls of Sanzu's hips, but as you arched your back away, his thrusts only aimed deeper, harder into your G spot. "Y-yeah," you sobbed out, tears filling your lash line. "B-but... Too much, 'Haru. Slow down, too much."

"Oh?" he smirked, his hips moving now at a faster pace, loving how your cunt squeezed his cock even though you wanted him to slow down, how contradicting he thought your words were, you were denying your body the release that you so desperately needed. "Looks like you pussy is saying something else," Sanzu added.

Repetitive moans left your mouth while he pounded into your tight heat. You suddenly had the instinctive urge to press yourself into his length, but you couldn't, his weight was too heavy for you to move against him, and you were utterly hopeless as his thrusts became faster.

"Please, I wanna come," you cry out mewling. "So big, you feel so big, Haru..."

Your body trembled beneath him and the hold he had on your hands loosened. Your hips were getting held, then, the strength he possessed lifted you onto your knees before a bicep wrapped around your throat, lifting your head. It wasn't a tight grip but the power lifted your head from the futon while you shakily rested your weight on your elbows.

Your back arched heavily, finally being able to sink more into him. Sanzu hunched over you, pulling you closer to him and connected your mouth in a sloppy, wet kiss, forcing his tongue inside your mouth, grunting into you while he swallowed your moans. "Good girl, taking me so deep," Sanzu groaned, pulling away from your mouth and pushing this arch into your back deeper.

He watched your ass ripping again his lower abdomen, watching your cunt with purple iris'. Observing how your walks sucked him in, leaving a creamy white rind of arousal around the base of his cock. 

"Making you feel so good, aren't I?" Sanzu groaned his head tilted forward, sweat beading on his forehead as we watched your fall apart and tremble from his dick, broken moans slipping past your plump lips.

A satisfied smirk came onto Sanzu's face as he watched those tears that welled in your fluffy lash line spill down your smooth cheeks. "Such a good little- slut," Sanzu groans. "Pussy taking me in so deep."

"'Wanna come, please," you beg, wanting to feel the release, desperate as the tears stream down your flushed cheeks. "Want it so bad."

You clench around his length as he increases his pace, instantly accommodating to the speed but your moans escalate. "Such a good girl," He leaned down and mumbled in my ear chased with a deep moan that stirred my insides clenching around his length. "C'mon, how much you want it?" Sanzu rasps in your ear.

"Want it so bad!" you whimper, unable to comprehend any thoughts that swelled into your head. "Please, please, please!"

"Oh?" Sanzu grunts his teeth grinding.

You moan out, your body trembling. "Please.... I just... 'wanna" you hiccup out, the coil in your stomach tightening while his heavy balls slap against your swollen clit.

"Yeah? Come, on, doll," Sanzu replies groans interrupting his speech, but it made his stomach and balls tighten, wanting to fill up your cunt with his seed.

"Please, I wanna come," you moan.

"Go ahead," he growled and you spasmed around his length as your high washed over you, your legs shaking as his weight pressed down even more than it was. His thrusts didn't slow causing me to whimper in overstimulation, but Sanzu helped it, his hips continuing to rut into you, helping you ride out my orgasm as he chased his own.

With a groan, his lips planted against mine once again as his hips slammed into mine, hard, his cum spilling inside me causing me to moan into his kiss. Sanzu slipped his softening length out and pulled away from the kiss as you slumped to the futon, his eyes chained to the white splotches of silky come that spilled from your gaping cunt.

He wants to break you further.

And that's exactly what he does for the next three months.

It had started with little things, things one dismissed as quirks or habits. Sanzu had this way of making you be consumed entirely by him, as if he was the centre of gravity you just could not pull away from. 

His house turned into a second home you spent more and more time in, never realizing how it became so. How leaving a few clothes there turned into leaving entire drawers filled with your things. 

Your toothbrush beside his, your shoes by the door, your scent mixed with his in the hallways of his penthouse. And then one day, it wasn't just a drawer or two; it was everything. You couldn't remember the last time you'd spent a night at your own place. Your social circle gradually shrank. At first, it was natural, the hours spent with Sanzu were intoxicating. All he had done was comment subtly on your friends-how they didn't really understand you, how they were too unreliable, always leaving you to your own devices. 

He was the one who was always there, the one who truly cared about your well-being. Soon, nights out with friends grew fewer and fewer, replaced by nights waiting for him to come back from work, keeping your phone on silent "out of respect for him," as he had suggested. Yet, for all his affection, his life remained a mystery. 

Every time he went out, he was always vague as to where he went or what he did. His phone, always buzzing with messages, was guarded. Any question you asked was received with a smile and a kiss on the lips: "Just business," he'd shrug and stroke off your queries. When he took you to his 'meetings', you sat outside in luxurious lounges or dimly lit private rooms for hours, waiting without any explanations. You tried not to mind. You tried to believe him, that he was just protective, just keeping you out of something too messy for you to understand. But the doubt gnawed at you, stealing in when he'd come home late at night, his eyes darker, the faint scent of smoke and something metallic clinging to his clothes...

And then... you found out by accident by seeing the messages pinging on his phone while he was in the kitchen, back home from... work. Messages flashed across the screen, names and details you didn't recognize but somehow instinctively knew were dangerous. Then, you see it, you couldn't focus on anything other than what the message said apart from the one word that stood out. Bonten.

The man your're seeing is apart of Bonten. 

Sanzu's late nights, the few strange men he would occasionally meet with, and how his whole world was shrouded in darkness. He wasn't into anything shady-he was deep in one of the most feared criminal organizations in the city. 

And it was too late to pull away. 

"Baby... what are you looking at?" He asks looking over the counter, eyes narrowing at how your sight was locked onto his phone.

Sanzu picks up his iPhone and his gaze darkens at what you had just seen. 

You know now...

"I... I'd like to go on a walk," you abruptly say and Sanzu glances at you through lidded eyes from his phone.

What you were really planning to do was to get as far away as possible from this physco. 

"A walk? Huh, Baby?" he hums, placing his phone screen down to the marble counter. "Go on and do it..." Sanzu hums, face so close to yours you thought he's kiss you but you shyed away and then his eyes darken. "Alrgiht. You wanna play it like that?-" a silence "Run, Baby. Run..." His lips graze you're ear, "Although, you can't run forever."

Run, baby. Run.

It felt like hours, maybe days, but it had only been 2 minutes and you had no idea how long you'd been running, trying to get away from him. Every corner you turned, every dark alley you darted down, the feeling of his presence followed. No matter how fast you went, how hard you pushed yourself, deep down you knew it would never be enough. You can't run forever. He smiled when he'd said it, pale eyes alight with something wild, something dangerous. Sanzu had always been unhinged, but the fire of that gaze, that hunger was something else. You couldn't outrun him. You knew it. Still, you had to try. Your lungs burned, your legs aching, and you went faster.

Too close.

He's always close. It was the sound of his voice, the tone in which he spoke to you that night a lover promising things, dark and twisted. It started with touches that lingered too long, knowing looks, finding his way wherever you were, he begun to follow you around, began to restrict where you went, and made you cut your friends off. But it grew and escalated until you could not breathe without the weight of his obsession bearing down upon you. And now? Now he hunted you. Chased you across town like some prey, sick, a game he was the only one who could win. "Come on," his voice echoed in the back of your head, teasing, low, seductive. "You know you can't run from me, love. Why even try?" You can't stop. But then, just as you might actually have a chance—just as you allow yourself to believe for this one passing moment you can get away from him—you hear it. Footsteps.  Your heart plummets to your stomach. You needn't look around, instinctively, you know who it is. The heavy, rounded sound of the dress shoes on concrete sends a cold quiver running down your spine. "You're making this too easy." His voice was closer now, too close, and your body seemed to freeze well before your brain could catch up with the command to move. You had only time for a single breath, before his hand curled around your wrist, yanking you back against him with terrifying ease. "Haru— You'd barely gotten his name out before his other hand had latched onto your chin, twisting your face up to meet his. Pale, icy blue eyes stared down into your face with an intensity that stole the breath from your lungs. His smile was twisted, the same he'd worn that night-the night he told you you'd never be free of him. "Did you really think you could run from me?" His voice was low, soft, almost caressing. He pulled you close with that much tighter grip. "After all we went through? After all I've done for you? Your heart is racing, and then panic sets in. But Sanzu holds with an iron clutch, his fingers digging into skin, his body pressed up against yours-rendering the impossible task of moving anywhere. "Haru, please." You struggled against him, trying to pull away, but he tightened his hold instead, his smile growing wider at watching you squirm. "I like it when you say my name in that manner," he whispered huskily against your ear. "But I don't like this when you run away from me, it's as if you have no regard for what I have done for you." It moved from your chin upwards, tracing along your throat until fingers wrapped around your neck. The deceptively soft threat was crystal clear, he would end this, end you, at his whim. And the worst of it? The dark thrill dancing in his eyes told you that he liked that idea. "You have any idea how it hurts to see you faking like you can survive without me?" he whispered, the edge of his lips brushing your ear. "To see you try to run? It's almost... an insult." You swallowed hard, your throat closing up under his touch, but your voice shook out in a desperate, quaking whisper. "Haru, I can't. I can't do this anymore." His fingers constricted around your neck ever so slightly, and you gasped. "But you can, baby. You don't have a choice. You belong to me. You always have." "You're mine, and no matter how far you run, no matter how hard you try to get away from me, I'll find you," his lips ghosted over yours, barely touching, before he pulled back just enough to look at your eyes once more. "And when I do, I'll make sure you'll never leave me again." "Don't cry, baby," he whispered, his voice little more than a whisper. "You'll be safe with me. I'll make sure no one else touches you. No one else can have you."

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | tokyo revengers m.list

taglist :: @theblueslytherin @shuzoku @katsunee @flunkedloser

[asmogorna]

Ok so for the last couple days ive been ill in the head about The Black Parade as mcr's alter ego/characters and i wanted to share some thoughts i had so far :3

It doesnt align with the canon lore that we have (i didnt really use it for reference at least) so it can be viewed as some sort of an au

I dont know if im gonna give them new names that just sound similar to the names of mcr themselves, so for now i will be referring to them by the names of the band members

So far I've been thinking about the typical "chosen by fate" scenario, where the characters lives lead them through a path for a specific cause

So

Post WW2 England

5 kids under their own circumstances witness a big parade (I will be doing some research and see if it could be some kind of victory celebration parade? It's just that I'm not sure if England had those. Not that I'm aiming for historical accuracy atp it's simple curiosity)

The kids get heavily impacted by that event and carry on (ha) that memory throughout their life

Now to the specifics of the characters cus by God they all gave me a headache

Heads up: they're all british orphans lol

Frank and Bob are students/residents in a Christian orphan school, and later on in life are priests in the town church

The reason why is that they both have badges on their uniform with crosses that could be associated with christianity

(I couldn't find any info about what exactly certain design details could be referencing, so ig it's up to interpretation)

The military theme in Gerard and Mikey's costumes will be explored on later (Mikey's medal could be either The Victoria Cross or The Distinguished Flying Cross, and the symbol on Gerard's shoulder is most likely the Order Of The Garter star)

And I couldn't figure out what to do w Ray, because I'm not sure if his uniform design details reference anything specific 🤷🏾🤷🏾🤷🏾

Now, Gerard and Mikey lost their father to war, and their mother passed away when they were both very young

And after that they ended up in the same orphanage as Ray, befriending him and finding out about their shared passion for music

This doodle was made abt that specifically <3

Later on in early adulthood they decide to start a cabaret band, in which Frank and Bob both join them later, deciding to leave their priest lives behind (partially because iirc both of them kinda fanboyed their way into the band irl lol)

After receiving little recognition, the band decides to take a train to America, to try their luck there. With a lot of hope and determination

That, sadly, doesn't last for long, for the train crushes with no survivors on board

The group crawls out of the collapsed train in their no longer physical forms. Yet, even after their death, they still have a desire to move forward. And that desire, though thoughtlessly, forces them to go forward. The souls of all the other people who lost their lives to the train accident follow them, through the landscape that no longer feels like earth

They then reach the end

Walking in one by one people disappear, finding their own peace and meeting their own finish line

After it's done, The Black Parade now have officially made themselves into what they're supposed to be. Gaining a new purpose and a new sort of life

I got too poetic for my own good here I fear .. anyway

Their job now is to lead the lost and the forgotten to the afterlife

They could be referred to as some kind of a grim reaper, I guess

I'm still thinking about adding more to the story, and maybe I will change some things, but so far this is all I can share really !! I hope if you've read this far you found this entertaining .. this is all for the satisfaction of my urges so I might or might not have too much fun w it in the future :3

The story was mainly inspired by this specific post from Gerard himself, because i liked the concept a lot ..

Also

She's gonna be here as a separate character too probably...... Cus I'm self indulgent and I love the ideas bubbling in my brain

[sapphicseasapphire]

Thoughts to ponder.

Tears of the Kingdom spoilers (and lots of rambles) under the cut

When I started the Chain as Cryptids au, I didn’t really think I’d be able to work Tears of the Kingdom in, seeing how much I had changed Wild’s story. He’s a spirit with no memory of the Hylian he once was. He’s a force to be reckoned with but can be easily spooked- much like a wild animal. He avoids Flora like the plague since she’s his connection to the life he used to have. The life that isn’t his anymore.

But then… I had an idea. Flora would be desperate to find her Link again after discovering that he’s still alive (or… not really alive. Not quite a Poe but not quite a Hylian either). Regardless, after the events of Breath of the Wild, she’d start a search party and scour every corner of Hyrule to find him.

She never would. When spirits don’t want to be seen, they aren’t. But… this whole time, I imagined that Korok Forest acted as a sort of home base for Wild. Wild cannot speak verbally but can communicate telepathically with other spirits and spiritual beings. The Koroks and Blupees would be like siblings to him, the Deku Tree being like a parental figure since he basically started life over when he died. (Two Links raised by the Great Deku Tree. He and Time can bond over that later).

ANYWAY. Wild used the Master Sword for about half of the events of Breath of the Wild. But when it would need to recharge, he’d place it back in the pedestal in Korok Forest where it could become stronger under the watchful gaze of the Great Deku Tree. Then he’d be off, never staying in one place for too long, wandering the sandy shores of Necluda or the lava banks of Eldin.

This pattern would stay in place for years after the defeat of Calamity Ganon: Wild stopping at Korok Forest to reunite with his family and let the Master Sword heal and then disappearing into the wilds once more. And over the years, Flora’s search party would shrink until it was just her scouring the continent for her missing knight. Okay, yeah, maybe she’s a little desperate, but she can’t bear the thought of him alone out there. Not when he died because of her. Not when he’s all she has left.

And… when the Master Sword is recharging, that’s when Flora would finally take her search to Korok Forest. She finds the sacred blade but her knight is nowhere to be seen. The Deku Tree allows her to take it, urging her onward, warning her that eventually, she’ll have to use it. She heeds his wisdom, pulling the sword from her resting place and securing it on her back. Then she begins her search anew.

She doesn’t find him.

She trains with the Master Sword while she travels Hyrule. She starts to rebuild. She gets to know her people. And from the cover of countless trees and stone, a certain spirit watches her and his sword.

During her travels, Flora encounters a strange red-black mist that makes her people ill. They call it ‘gloom.’ And, what’s worse, it seems to pour out from under Hyrule Castle. The castle has laid untouched for years now, ever since the Calamity was sealed away and she set out on her search. But now, it would seem that she’s needed once more at the site of her greatest battle. The subject of her nightmares. The place where she los the last piece of her home.

Without her knight at her side, she makes her way to the forgotten foundation of her old life. She’s alone when she travels through the caverns, alone when she follows the melancholy most past murals and carvings that she itches to explore. Flora is alone when the Master Sword glows in warning. Alone when she battles monsters waiting for her in the depths.

The princess is all alone when she discovers a mysterious mummy being held in place by a single glowing arm. She watches as the appendage falls away, a stone falling to the rocky ground with an unassuming click. As she reaches to pick it up, the corpse reanimates. It stands tall, more alert and aware than any Gibdo she’s seen on her journey, and fixes her with a stare that she’d crumble under. She drops her torch and draws the Master Sword, holding the unfamiliar yet warm stone to her chest, and the mummy laughs at her.

It knows her name.

And it attacks.

Flora is alone when the gloom ravages her arm. She’s alone when the Master Sword is the first to crumble under that pressure. She’s alone when the very ground beneath her gives in to that same pressure.

She’s alone when she falls, pain lacing through her arm and golden light enveloping her.

But Flora is not alone when she wakes.

For the purposes of this au, Flora’s time in the past is going to be very similar to canon. She still meets Rauru and Sonia. Still meets Mineru and the Sages and Ganondorf. She still trains to control her secret stone. However, Rauru fixes her arm almost as soon as she arrives in this strange world. He doesn’t give her his, not like he does for Link in TOTK, since he needs it to seal Ganondorf away. But he and Mineru work together to combine construct parts and their own light and spirit magic to make her new muscles and machinery to aid in moving her own ruined arm.

The Imprisoning War is the same.

Sonia dies. Rauru sacrifices himself. And she still has no idea how to get home. How to heal the Master Sword and destroy Ganondorf in her own time. She still speaks with Mineru… and she comes to the same conclusion that she did in canon. This time, though, she’s taking much more of a risk. She can survive the centuries as a dragon, she can heal the sword. But she can’t be sure that her Link will be there to take it and finish things. She hasn’t even seen him in years.

… she doesn’t have a choice.

From Wild’s perspective, it happened in moments. He blinked and suddenly there were islands floating in his skies. Hyrule Castle floats ominously, red plumes of gloom branching out from underneath. Massive sinkholes give way to more of the poison, seeming to drop forever. His forests are ravaged once again, the climate in corners of the continent changing drastically.

And the princess he’d been following is gone.

While trying to get a grasp of what changed so suddenly, he figures out a way up to the Sky Islands. And to his surprise, he discovers a new dragon.

Now, Wild is familiar with all of the dragons in Hyrule. Farosh, Naydra, and Dinraal are just on the threshold of Spirit and Mortal, but they definitely qualify as spiritual beings. Meaning that Wild can speak telepathically to them. Their thoughts are always muddy and jumbled up, so he never gets much out of conversing with them. But he can tell that they enjoy his presence. So he rides with them in the skies of Hyrule for hours at a time.

This new dragon is smaller than the three he knows and flies much higher. Its ears are shorter, hair golden, eyes stunning. Instead of six legs, this one only has five. A scarred stump at its front and a glowing object on- no in- its poor head. Wild makes his way over as fast as he can, desperate to learn more about the beast.

The new dragon’s thoughts are just as jumbled up as he’s used to but he’s caught off guard by how miserable it feels. No. She. How miserable she feels. Wild places a glowing hand on her snout and tries to calm her, but it’s no use. Her thoughts may be chaotic and disorganized, but he senses her distress. She wants- sword. Knight. Link Link Link. You must find me, you have to save them all!

Wild takes the Master Sword from where it was buried in the dragon’s golden mane and is nearly thrown off by her shock at the action. But when his sword is once again in his capable hands, he feels an overwhelming gratitude from the dragon. It’s gone as soon as it came, replaced again by misery. Dread. Grief.

During the events of Breath of the Wild, Wild did not fight to save Zelda. He did not fight to save Hyrule. He fought for the land. For his fellow spirits that were being destroyed by malice. For the forests that were burned down by guardians. For the water that was poisoned by monsters. He defeated Calamity Ganon for his family.

He fights Ganondorf for the same reason. Except… maybe this time, he’s extra motivated by that strange new dragon. She seemed… so sad…

THIS IS GETTING WAY TOO LONG. But suffice to say that after the events of Tears of the Kingdom, Flora does not 100% recover from being a dragon. She keeps her telepathic connection to Wild and her immortality. She keeps her horns and scales and SHE gets the Master Sword. She’s a Cryptid as well, and she’s closer to Wild than she ever was.

. . .

Uhhhhh that was super long I apologize. But rambling like this is so much easier than trying to be coherent and careful when I write. I might to it more often if you think it’s legible haha. Feel free to ask questions haha, I love any excuse to talk about my Cryptid boys and their relationships with people in their worlds.

Wild’s Origin!

[seravphs]

ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — GOJO x FEM READER

Gojo's a brat.

wc — 1k 

tags —  been reading a lot of shoujo manga lately which is its own warning, jealous Gojo spoiling reader 

Snap.

You hiss between your teeth, annoyed and barely restraining yourself from murder. The sting of the elastic jolts you out of your studies, but after a quick break to glare at the headache sitting next to you, you dive right back into your work. Patience is one of your strong suits. It’s why Yaga worked so hard to steal - in his words, ‘recruit’ - you from the Kyoto campus. Someone has to set a good example for the kids. He knows it’s not going to be Gojo.

Speaking of-

Snap.

This time, you feel the brush of his cold fingers against your skin as well. You yelp in shock, both at the sudden change in temperature and at the way your skin smarts. Gojo takes a break from his triple sized blue raspberry slushee to laugh at you hysterically, clutching his sides. It’s not even that funny. You wish all kinds of illnesses on him with fervor.

One more time. Just one more time, you promise yourself, and you’ll-

Snap goes the hair tie on your wrist against your skin.

You don’t even let him withdraw his fingers before you leap over the chair to punish him.

“You little punk,” you snarl, catching his collar in your hand and throttling him with it. It’s a rare day where he’s wearing business casual, which he doesn’t even do for meetings with the elders.

“I’m older than you,” he says. “Gotta respect your elders.”

“Yeah? I’ll show you respect!” 

You’re already reaching out to pinch his cheek, only to come into contact with infinity. This comes with the realization that he must have had it turned off earlier, if you could have choked him. Why does the thought make you happy?

“Men don’t like women who are so high strung,” he teases.

“Tell that to my roster of Hinge dates,” you snort (lying through your teeth). You’re admittedly popular, but you’ve stopped seeing anyone in recent months for a reason you don’t want to explore further. That’s a stone you’re willing to leave unturned.

“Oh, yeah?” You can only tell his voice is just slightly huskier because you spend so much time with him these days that you can catch the slight changes in his mood. It’s for lesson plans, of course.

That doesn’t stop you from swallowing hard. Jealousy looks good on him. He had the kind of looks that could drive women crazy, but combined with his unfiltered attention on you? It was a difficult to fight the urge to provoke him further. 

“Yeah. As for me, I don’t like men who are a pain in the ass,” you smooth down his collar once you realize you’ve still been holding it.

The tension breaks. Gojo never stays serious for long. You’ve only caught fleeting glimpses of the god that lurks within his skin, trapped and turbulent.

“Aw, come on. I’m not so bad, am I? Can I make it up to you?”

“Depends,” you sniff, highlighting a important sentence in your textbook. You’ll have to remember that for class later. Nobara had asked about it. You should really tell him to go away, he’s distracting you so much, but you rarely do tell him off no matter what he does.

“I happen to have a reservation-“

So that explains why he’s dressed so nicely, though you wouldn’t put it past him to show up to Michelin star restaurants in sweatpants and get his way. You have to remind yourself not to get excited that he’s doing this for you. If you do, you lose.

“Happen to, is it? What if I don’t want your leftovers?”

“Don’t be that way,” he wheedles. “I’ll pay for everything.”

“As if I was going to.”

“I’ll pick you up.”

“You can do better than that,” you retort. This is almost fun, like negotiating with Yaga to raise your salary. Utahime thinks there’s something wrong with you for enjoying workplace politics so much, but maybe that’s why you can tolerate Gojo’s company so well when no one else can. You have to be a little crazy to put up with him.

“Hmm,” he says. You see right through him. He’s only pretending to think. In fact, every second of this conversation was predetermined. It’s all part of a bit you’ve done before. “Last offer, then. You can max out my card getting ready.”

And your answer, therefore, is also already prepared. You don’t even deign to give him one, simply holding out your hand.

“Who says I’m giving it to you?” Gojo’s eyes sparkle. He’s being particularly difficult today, so much so you’re tempted to just slap him across his pretty face so you can kiss the hurt away afterwards. He’d like that, though. “Don’t you need someone to carry your bags?”

This is the game he likes to play, messing with you so he can apologize with extravagant gifts. Just once, you wish he could be straightforward about it. You’re not bragging, but everyone knows he likes you. It would make everyone’s life easier if he could just be mature about it, but instead, Gojo insists on acting like a teenager with a crush.

Whatever. You can put up with it for a while longer. You’re not particularly opposed to this situation. He spoils you with attention and lavish gifts; you spoil him by being the only one who can tolerate him. 

Besides, you’re keeping secrets too, a big one that Utahime had whispered to you the other day over lunch. She had been so excited to have something to hold over Gojo that she hadn’t even registered the look on your face when she told you. 

The other reason Yaga tried so hard to steal you from Kyoto?

Gojo asked him for a favor.

[macking-cheese]

Transformers: Earthspark brainworms rn

What if Bee got put under Mandroid's control? GAH ITS EATING ME UP THINKING ABOUT IT

inspired by asimp4bee's (I think I spelled that right) art I saw with the same theory, and the song Control by Halsey

This also includes Breakbee! Ig it's like a situationship but actually they're terrible at feelings and Bee is like “am I not enough for him” and when shit goes down later Breakdown is like “damn I gotta step up fr” (this is probably a terrible explanation and for that I am sorry)

Also this accidentally became an exploration of Jawbreaker and Bee's relationship (AS SIBLINGS!!! I just think that in a way they complement each other and I wanna explore it) (It's probably me just projecting my neurodiversity onto them tbh)

This is like really bee-centric, more than I originally intended for it to be. I wanted it to gauge the terrans’ reactions to losing their brother/mom#2 (this is an inside joke pls don't flame me for it), then it became me wanting that twink mentally obliterated (and studying the journey of healing through family support after the inevitable crash out)

So here's a little drabble? Of me fleshing out the introduction of my ideas a bit more so I have a basic outline of where to go with the fic I'm planning! This has some dark themes (TW: suicidal ideation, kidnapping, torture, violence, harming of children, crazy how most of this is canon typical)

Basically this is set right after the kids break Bee and co out of the G.H.O.S.T cells, he tries one last time to get Breakdown to join them, and is rejected. So Bee goes home with the kids, and after a bit, making sure they're okay and under supervision of their family, he goes back alone to try and get Breakdown to join him again, the first place he looks being back at the facility, hoping he might still be there, but he knew he wouldn't, it was his dumb optimism saying there might have still been a chance.

Of course heading back there first was a bad idea. Probably the shittiest call he could make. He immediately gets recaptured and those G.H.O.S.T fuckers torture him and demonstrate their new mind control technology, trying to break the bot mentally and turn him into a weapon for their own personal/military use. When the big battle happens, he's sent out and,,,,

The terrans are so happy to see him, they missed their brother figure (jokingly their mom#2) and could really use his help and possibly Breakdown's, if he succeeded in his mission, in the fight. He told them he was going back to try and get more recruits, he'd be gone for no longer than a day, but if it takes longer, not to worry. It's been two weeks. (Or however it happened canonically, idk. I haven't actually watched the show in a month so this original setup probably doesn't make sense, really just writing to write here)

But when they get a closer look, he seems so worn down and tired and small. Trying to appear angry and bitter and intimidating, but it looked so fake and they didn't know why he wasn't easing up upon seeing the terrans again, until they see that cold, emotionless white in his optics.

They can't believe it. He’s not wearing a G.H.O.S.T badge. Maybe he's playing an ill-timed prank.

“That's not funny, Bee”

“We need your help”

“You're scaring me”

“Please stop”

“Bee?”

They notice the flicker of blue and the horrid screech-click of a failing vocalizer. The way his body trembles and his arm plating shakes with the effort to keep it from transforming into his stinger.

A last-ditch effort on his end, he turns on his radio with a slurry of static.

“C-an't help thi-sssssssss- should be sk- scared -f me-!”

The terrans are a mix of horrified and worried. They know they should move, run away, some catch up fast enough and do that, having to drag others. Jawbreaker just can't. That's his favorite person, his confidant, his older brother.

“Back-back-ba-ckhss… up!” It was the only semblance of himself that he seemed to have somewhat control of, and he clung to it. The terrans needed to know he didn't mean anything he was going to do.

Jawbreaker did move, a few disbelieving steps away, not fast enough to dodge the hand landing on his chest to move him away, too harshly for anyone's comfort.

Bumblebee was tearing himself up to try and fight for control. It hurt, it hurt so much, he almost wanted to sink into that awful bliss the chip in his back offered. But he couldn't, those were his mentees, his kids. He'd kill himself if he ever brought harm to them.

He wondered if the chip would stop him if he tried now. Maybe he could fry his circuits if he kept pushing against the breaching walls of code. Maybe he could shoot himself or something.

With that thought his arm finally transformed and the kids booked it. He couldn't stop himself from aiming at them and landed a few painful shots. He begged for forgiveness as he lost himself, giving up and letting the parasite fully enter him.

All this for Breakdown, and he didn't even know if it was worth it to have gone back in the first place.

-----

There's so much more I have running around in my head and my notes for this! You're welcome to share any thoughts, and please disregard if this was structured oddly. I'm jumping in my seat right now with excitement and my thoughts are a bit scattered trying to get this out.

[creepy-friday]

Fem. proxy NSFW headcanons with the three proxies? (separately) I love the way you write them, and you really don't find people who write them accurately anymore. Thank you!

Hi! Thank you so much,I am glad the fandom is still alive! :D

Creepypasta Proxies x fem!Reader

|NSFW headcanons|

Warnings: implied nsfw,suggestive language,mental illness mentions,dub-con/non-con mentions,misogyny, various kinks mentions including dacryphilia,knife play and somnophilia

Side note: Sex is meant to be a pleasure experience for both partners (or more,whatever y'all are into) and it isn't limited to a particular "style", it is okay to explore and feel good and confident about it.Stay safe everyone!

Toby would be the one who would think about engaging in sexual activities the most

I ain't gonna sugarcoat it,he's still very mentally ill so he would only assume you don't necessarily find him attractive enough if you seem to reject all of his affection that would lead to something more

That's why during some of his breakdowns he might push you and get pretty violent,forcing himself onto you while kissing roughly,altough he wouldn't continue to a very end if you're extremely uncomfortable about it

Considering the amount of trauma he has,the few moments he can feel at his best are during the highs of an orgasm tbh

Did I ever mention he has a mommy kink? I definitely fucking did he will let you use him as you please,dirty talking also gets him last a few more rounds.He just wants to know he is the one who can please you the most,that he's doing a good job,that he's your pretty good boy~

Degrade him a little,he also doesn't mind if you want to crave a little something into his skin.Even tough he cannot feel pain he definitely likes it,it's something that makes him feel like he belongs to you

Toby would do the same if you let him.He has his moments where he wants to feel in total control,but at the same time he's all sloppy and needs to touch and lick every part of your body

Holding you into a tight grasp while you bounce on him makes him all vocal,he doesn't hold back on moans either, looking up to you like you're all that matters to him in this world

He loves to hold you as close as possible during intercourse,as close as he can get to hear your fast heartbeat or to lick the tears that escape from your pretty eyes

Masky is rough and would often not let you cum until you beg and further humiliate yourself to get it from him

He would fuck you in front of a mirror as exposed as possible while praising and shaming you at the same time

Holding your hair into a fist while pressing your head into a pillow and holding both of your hands between your back as he doesn't stop thrusting into you until you're left breathless is what he loves the most

He can still act arrogant and bossy, blowing the smoke on your face while forcing you to take all of his length in your throat,maybe even putting his hands under his head while acting like you blowing him off it's such a chore fucking douchebag

Tim can be a sweet and loving partner,making sure you are okay while leaving soft kisses on the spots Masky left on you

The white masked man still loves to be in power and would talk disgusting things to you because of it

"You were made for this,weren't you?" ; "Finally learning where your place is,am I right?" ; "I bet your cunt deserves more atttention,after all you've been a good slut lately" and so on and so forth,would make you agree and be vocal while saying the exact words he wants you to say

Would engage in fear play and grind onto you while you sleep,staring at you while he strokes himself off and finally covering your mouth and thrusting all of his length into you while letting out grunts and low moans

Hate fucking is nothing that he isn't familiar with,he secretly adores when you put him in his place and fuck his brains out,if you're not easily intimidated and take the lead you can make him roll his eyes into his skull and use this to shame him later he deserves it

Hoodie adores when you start crying while desperately holding onto him if you're not tied up,of course while you're overstimulated and shaking from the last few orgasms.

"C'mon,I know you can continue,one more time for me,hm?"

He's isn't as much of a jerk like his friend,but I totally can see him taking his sweet time to ravish you just for his fucked up pleasure

He would often tease you in semi public spaces or legit under the table while other residents are talking to you,he has no shame about it either

Cannot keep his mouth shut for anything,he will whisper the dirtiest filth to your ears while soft grunts escape his mouth

Except to be touched while sleeping next to him.He would gently pet your hair while you sleep on his chest,then his hand would move across your body.He cannot help it,you look way too peaceful while you're dozed off,so defenless and utterly at his mercy

If you insist to use a safe word with him he would respect it while smirking,his ego would be over the roof,especially knowing on how good he makes you feel

"You feelin' good?" he asks as he takes his sweet time to make you beg for him to go faster,he's okay to take orders and doesn't mind instructions on how to make you feel even better than before

As long as you allow him in and ask nicely he's all yours to break or to use to break yourself into~

[ranchstoryblog]

Beyond the Farm: A Dramatic Martial Arts Detective Life Sim?

Long, long ago; in the year 1999, the term "life sim" wasn't used as often or understood as well as it is today. Boku no Natsuyasumi wouldn't release for another year, Animal Crossing was two years away, and reviewers were struggling to determine what a game like Harvest Moon 64 was. Often, instead of putting it alongside simulation games, choosing to place it among RPGs instead.

At this time, one of the biggest game developers in the industry had everything to prove for their next generation console. One of their most legendary creators was putting together something that could influence the entire gaming landscape, building systems modern games would take for granted from scratch. A game that sought to simulate real life as closely as possible.

Positing itself as an epic kung fu saga, most of Shenmue's promotional material focuses on action and adventure that happened to have an impressive world to explore. Upon release, players would quickly find it was almost the exact opposite. A world to live in, one day at a time, with a kung fu adventure somewhere in the backdrop. So, 25 years later, let's look at it through the lens of a life sim.

Living in Shenmue

Though the game opens with a dramatic set-up, your father murdered before your eyes by a mysterious man belonging to a foreign crime organization for reasons unknown, the first gameplay element introduced to you isn't how to throw a punch or a kick. Instead, upon exiting your home for the first time, you encounter a little girl taking care of an orphan kitten, and being pretty ill-prepared for it.

If the player chooses to visit this kitten every single day, using their small 500 yen daily allowance on cat food instead of toys, video games, or candy, they can watch the kitten recover over the next few weeks. Starting from barely being able to stand or eat, shivering in a cardboard box, to eventually exploring freely and climbing to the top of the nearby shrine, triumphant over its adversity.

This entirely optional side-quest is more or less an introduction to one of the main ways to play the game. While following your trail of clues to find your father's killer is one thing, establishing a daily routine that helps work towards tangible goals or experience new things is just as important. Some of these activities improve the protagonist's skills, like practicing martial arts in an empty lot to level-up and evolve moves, while others will challenge the player's skill, like getting good at motorcycle racing game "Hang On" so that a later challenge where you're driving a real motorcycle is a bit easier.

Contemporary games in the simulation genre tended to saddle you with a routine-focused task from the outset, such as a business to run or a field to plow, so it was certainly novel to simply be a jobless teenager trying to find a way to fill your days as seemingly every new step in your main goal required you to wait for someone else before moving forward.

Shenmue's Inhabitants

Of course, it's not just the player involving themselves with a daily routine. Hundreds of NPCs populate the world, each one with distinct personalities, backstories, and full voice-over. If you want, you can follow someone leaving their home in the morning, watch them open their store, walk in, examine every little thing on their shelves, and then pester them all day with questions about if any local gangsters with tattoos have stopped by their antique china shop lately.

On the rare occasions where you don't have any leads to follow, you can actually get to hear more about what they're thinking about. Some of them are familiar with the protagonist and ask how he's doing, or even visit him at home if they're worried, and others will just let you in on their personal life, like relationship troubles. Maybe try to teach you some Italian. If you forget to say hi while exploring town, maybe pick up the phone and call them in the evening.

Unfortunately, it's somewhat rare to get much insight in-game. Perhaps due to the technological hurdles of having everyone voiced and simply not having enough room for that many unique sound files, but the initial release of the game did also come with an online enabled companion disc called "Shenmue Passport." In it, every character in the game, including the dogs and cats, has a bio that includes a paragraph or two about their lives and various stats like birth dates and blood type. Though the feature has gone offline since then, fans have recreated it with a mobile app called "Suka Pass."

The Nature of Shenmue

While most of Shenmue's gameplay occurs in urban environments, plenty of attention was given to the nature the player experiences as well. When it rains, mud and puddles form; when it snows, you can hear it crunching beneath your feet, and tire tracks line the streets. Though you can easily complete the game before the end of December, ignoring the story until as far as April lets you experience the world turning greener, cherry blossoms blooming, and dandelions sprouting up. For some extra verisimilitude, you can even use the real life weather data from 1986/1987 Yokosuka to have the in-game weather match. Pretty impressive stuff for 1999.

However, one of the most memorable moments in the series comes from the end of Shenmue 2. On the fourth disc of the game, where one might normally expect there to be grand spectacle, action, or conquest, there's something else entirely: A chance encounter where you meet someone who's going the same way you're going, followed by a two-day walk and talk where you get to know one another. There are no wolves chasing you, dangerous decisions to make, or villains with chainsaws. There are, however, some colza blossoms that just bloomed. You have to take a detour to see them, but doesn't it sound nice? Why not, since we're here.

More than any action scene, sprawling city street, or technological advancement for the medium, this is the moment that defines what Shenmue is. A mundane world that exists all around you, and feels like it could go on forever if you suspend your disbelief for just a moment. If there's one thing I think any life sim should try to replicate from Shenmue, it's this. The grandeur of this slow walk through the woods where you get to ask a stranger dozens of questions, and answer dozens in return. The more common "two minute event where you can pick the good choice or the bad choice" can't compare.

Only 3.6% of you asked for more posts about life sims that aren't Story of Seasons, but I didn't want to leave those of you who wanted it out to dry. I might still do another one at some point, something more "typical" like Fields of Mistria, but I hope this was interesting for you. While it wasn't one of the more popular requests, and it requires a lot more work than a meme, or just more of the same, it's worth doing so long as someone enjoys it.

[clonerightsagenda]

I just finished Arcane. I have deeply mixed feelings but re: PPLN: I would be interested in hearing your thoughts about everything that went down with Vi and Jinx. Or Mel and Ambessa.

re: send me PPLN asks while I'm snowed in, the sleet has begun and so do I

This ask could probably keep me fed for my entire snowbound experience because oh my god, but let's start off with Mel and Ambessa since there's a little bit less material to work with, and I'll come back to Vi and Jinx later.

Stuck it under a cut because this got long

Arcane loves its character duos who represent dueling worldviews, and Ambessa and Mel represent hard versus soft power. In Mel's childhood flashback, Mel advocates for sparing a captive and using her as a figurehead while they become the power behind the throne, and Ambessa decapitates her instead. In the present, Ambessa is a warlord coming to Piltover looking for new shiny magitech to use against her enemies. Meanwhile, Mel is the richest woman in the city and a major political player, making alliances, swaying council votes, and backing rising stars.

We see the two of them come into conflict in season 1 and the beginning of season 2. (Although, we can note, Ambessa is using political maneuvering here by manipulating Salo and Caitlyn! She has more range than just brute force.) As viewers, we can anticipate that the characters will be used to explore these two different philosophies of power and control.

Aaaaaand then.... Mel gets kidnapped, joins a sisterhood of witches, comes back, hands over her mom to one of the witches, then decides she doesn't trust the witch after all, and then her mom dies and she gets her job. I'm. Not quite sure what philosophical statement is being made here. Which is possibly one of the reasons why Mel's sections feel so untethered from the rest of the show, beyond that it's clearly spinoff bait. Ambessa proclaims she is the wolf - is this a vindication of hard power? But Mel mostly just showed up to do some sparkly and ill defined magic and then introduce a new villain.

As I've been contemplating this ask, I've been thinking that while Mel votes for Zaunite independence and opposes the use of hextech weapons on the Undercity (she frames this to Jayce as 'I won't let them corrupt your dream', although she does seem distressed at the unnecessary violence as well) she sure didn't seem to be using her wealth and power to do much for the Undercity beforehand. Judging from Caitlyn's 'can you believe they live like this??' speech in season 1, the Undercity is literally beneath the notice of the privileged of Piltover. Plus, Mel is an immigrant, and I'm not sure how long she's been in town. To wind her deeper into the season's storylines and explore her philosophy versus her mother's more, I kind of wish she'd ended up spending some time in Zaun. Maybe she gets dropped off there after leaving the witch place (still not entirely sure how she got home from there...) I'd be interested in her trying to use her political skills in that environment, and seeing how the leadership of the Undercity responds to this wealthy outsider. Caitlyn who got vocally upset about the Undercity's treatment and then teamed up with Ambessa to oppress it versus Mel, Ambessa's daughter and privileged councilor, who now tries to do the opposite despite a distrustful reception...

We see Sevika serving as the loyal right hand woman to whoever she sees as Zaun's best figurehead (Vander, Silco, Jinx), but at the end she's taking a seat at the council. It would be interesting if she'd had some interactions with Mel, who also spoke about being a power behind the throne, as they both navigate having to stand out on their own. Maybe Mel could be the one brokering the conversation between Zaun and Piltover, which is a missing scene I would've loved to see. (It's implied the councilor with the cool necklace thingy gained respect for Sevika and advocated for her, but seeing that actually go down would've been nice.)

[heliza24]

Being a physically disabled Dimension 20 fan breaks my heart sometimes

I’ve been thinking about this since last Wednesday’s episode when we finally got a real scene with Lydia, one of the few physically disabled characters in the entire canon of the show. It was nice, but it was really just a lore dump. An excuse for exposition. A moment for Kristen to look good by expending sympathy/pity. (I’m a little frustrated about how that interaction went down. Extending the help action was nice but patronizingly touching the neck of a full-ass adult without consent was not. It was weird and not something she would have done to a nondisabled character).

I have watched almost all of D20 (still missing a couple of seasons) and as far as I know here’s where our list of canon physically disabled characters stand: Lydia Barkrock, Jan de la Vega (who feels pretty problematic to me, maybe more on that in a later post), one of the Dwarven statues in the temple in The Seven (who is not given the dignity of being brought to life like Asha), and Pete’s coworker in TUC2 who is in exactly one episode and is so unimportant I have forgotten his name. I guess you could make an argument that Gunny is disabled, but I don't feel that Lou or Brennan really talk about him or play him through that lens. So in terms of canon physically disabled PCs-- that leaves us with 0.

We do a bit better with neurodivergent characters and characters with mental health problems; Ayda (my beloved) is very well developed and Adaine is a PC. There have been some openly neurodivergent players, like Omar and Surena, whose characters also read ND to me. But that isn’t labeled or discussed in canon, so it's hard for me to know where to class that. I am going to focus the rest of this post on physical disabilities, since that is my area of lived experience. If another fan wants to write about their perspective of neurodivergence rep in the show, I would love to hear that, and will happily amplify.

There has never been a character with a sensory disability or a limb difference or a chronic illness (not a fantasy one, a real one) on Dimension 20. The only NPCs we have are nondescript, similar wheelchair users. And there has never been a physically disabled player at the table. On the flagship show of Dropout, a company founded on diversity and inclusion. It feels extremely pointed to me.

In fact as far as I can tell there has only been one (1) physically disabled performer on any of Dropout’s shows. (Shout out to Brett, you were great on Dirty Laundry.) Obviously I haven’t seen every episode of everything they have produced. If I have missed someone, please do let me know in the comments/reblogs. But it’s a problem. And Sam Reich even agreed with this criticism when I asked him directly about.

I do really hope they’re working on it, as Sam says. But why has it taken so long?

Dimension 20 has had trans and nonbinary and queer players. It has had players of many different races. I’m not saying that the diversity here is perfect; there should always be more POC in the dome, more queer people. We should keep pushing for that. (And we should also push for performers at the intersections of these identities!) But we’ve seen the ways this diversity has expanded and improved the different seasons, because diverse players create sensitively drawn, diverse player characters. They add details to their PC’s experiences that make them feel rich and alive. I’m thinking about each of Ally’s PC’s incredible capital G gender and Aabria “all my characters (even the stoats) are Black” and how excellent they all are. D20 would not be the show it is without this input.

And yet. And yet.

There are 1,000 interesting and complicated themes to explore around disability. Dealing with access. Dealing with ableism. Dealing with compassion and community care. Dealing with none of it and just being a cool fantasy or sci fi character that happens to be disabled. We don’t get any of it.

I watch my favorite show and I see myself in the ace rep and the female characters. But I don’t see all of me. I see a silent but ever present message: you aren’t quite welcome here.

I have this fantasy that I play in my brain sometimes that someday I’ll get to talk to Brennan in person, like maybe if I buy a VIP ticket and risk Covid to go to a live show or we run into each other on the street or something. I am able to look him in the eye and articulate why he NEEDS to include a physically disabled player in an upcoming season. I reference the ways he’s talked about inclusion and writing diversely on Adventuring Party. Maybe I hand him a handwritten letter, or hell, a printout of this post. And because he really cares about diversity and his shows and his fans he would listen to me, and cast a physically disabled performer in the next season.

But I think that might be giving that nondisabled man (whose work I adore, who I respect so much) too much credit. Because he’s had Jennifer Kretchmer, a physically disabled actual play performer, on adventuring academy to talk about access in gaming. He’s hired disability consultants. He knows about physically disabled people, enough to give us shoutouts as inconsequential npcs. And he still hasn’t thought to include us at the table. In over 20 seasons. None of that other stuff matters if we aren't given a seat at the story telling table, and the agency to craft our own narratives equal to other participants in the game.

When Lydia was telling her story in the last episode, I kept wishing for a prequel, where she is more than a plot delivery device and a kind but unimportant parent. I want to know about her adventures with her adventuring party. I want to see a talented, wheelchair-using actor play out the scene when she decides to put the gem in her chest. I want to hear about what happened after. I want to know how she survived. I want it so badly it hurts.

I am in the process of trying to find new indie actual plays that feature more disabled talent. I am learning how to GM myself so I can tell these kinds of stories. But it’s not the same as being a fan of something. Sometimes I don’t want to have to make my own representation. Sometimes I just want to turn on my favorite tv show, the one that I have cosplayed from and written metas about and loved whole heartedly, and see myself included.

If you’re another disabled or neurodivergent fan I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’re not, I’d love for you to reblog this. I would love for the absence of physical disability in this show to be a topic of fandom conversation, at the very least.

[augochlorini]

presents to you the most wet noodle oc I've ever drawn...........

He's... he's like fuzzy spaghetti. Wait, that's gross. He's NOT like fuzzy spaghetti.

Little bit of info dumping below the cut!

This is The Mapmaker! A little genetic fuck up made by my iterator oc, North of Final Sunlight. I'll post about her at a later time. Maybe. Probably.

Mapmaker's left eye has been wholly replaced by an overseer! Based on what I know of Rainworld, this essentially means he has a camera in his face at all times. Originally, this camera was set into his skull by NFS as a means to explore the world around her.

Let's talk about the orange fuck himself! Starting from left to right, up then down, I'll go over all the little notes I've scrawled on his reference sheet.

Eldritch madness! What, pray tell, does that mean for Mapmaker? Well! Because Mapmaker was made with the express intention of being a walking puppet for his iterator, Mapmaker basically had 0 freewill until NFS deteriorated to the point of dying. When NFS did keel over in her can, more or less, it left Mapmaker completely on his own. His little pea brain can only just barely recognize the swathes of information left behind in his skull, and he's probably been speared by more than one Scav trying to talk about it. He can't comprehend everything he knows, but he wants to. Oh he wants to.

(While Mapmaker's left eye has been replaced by an overseer belonging to NFS, his right eye is a stereotypical white!)

What's going on with the little antenna on his back? Those little things serve two purposes! To start, they were originally made so that Mapmaker could easily pick up signals from NFS on the go within certain ranges. Without NFS, though, they've become useful for a different reason. During (hypothetical)gameplay, those antenna would react to sound similarly to how a lizard's headplate does. Any sound made within a certain range of Mapmaker will be picked up by his antenna, which will, in turn, shake and sparkle to alert the player to threats.

Mapmaker's tail has a special function! A hypothetical campaign based around Mapmaker would reward swift, cowardly behavior, with his frail noodly body being ill equipped to throw spears. His small frame, however, makes him lighter, offering faster movement speeds and higher jumps. Think Rivulet, but... a lot less. His long tail(which is nearly twice the length of his body) might seem like a flaw initially. However! I'm here to tell you, it isn't. The latter half of his tail is designed to attract the attention of lizards, and when bitten, will break off from the main body. This feature can only be used once per cycle, but thankfully, his tail will regrow after hibernation

Just like the antenna on his back, Mapmaker's unnecessarily large ears serve the function of echolocation. They will point in the direction of sounds made by other entities, be them lizards, vultures, or scavengers. Being in a room full of snails would probably be so overwhelming...

[questionablecuttlefish]

I see lots of Lightcannon fics imply that Lux knows Caitlyn and that they were childhood friends. Is this confirmed anywhere?

No, not to my knowledge, it's not canon anywhere, I just ran with it cuz I liked the idea, and I think others are just doing the same.

In a Lightcannon context it's useful story wise because it gives Lux an immediate in with Caitlyn (whom she has a lot in common with) and that can translate to a lot of interesting tensions and dynamics, and even an olive branch or two, once Lux gets entangled with Jinx.

I'm one of the fic authors that ran with it early on, mostly because I figure at the Kiramman/Crownguard tier of Runeterra aristocracy it's a pretty small pool.

If you've got active Hexgates and travel to and from a place like Demacia isn't going to take months from Piltover, it gets even more likely that the two bored rich kids rubbed shoulders at some political summit or gala somewhere.

That was just an image that stuck with me, considering the age gap I imagined early-teen Caitlyn being roped into babysitting the precocious little blonde angel at some fancy trade summit, while the families are busy politicking, and maybe they sneak off to steal a few books from the library, braid each other's hair, explore the gardens, hide from the servants, tell each other stories and generally be a pair of very smart, inquisitive, autistic-coded girls bored out of their brains.

And that led me to my headcanon of Caitlyn gushing at her mother about wanting to adopt Lux and that in turn led to her admitting to Jinx (near the end of Ill-Omen's Game) that she'd 'always wanted a sister'.

Oof, sometimes those brainbunny headcanons pay off later.

[genderchrisisspeaks]

Victor as The Machine Herald has changed in meaning significantly thanks to Arcane season 2 episode 2. He has gone from a character of desperation, anger, a want to get rid of all things human, to a savior, a liberator, and a healer. An almost messiah like figure.

This post will contain spoilers for Arcane you have been warned. I go in-depth about victors character below the cut <3

Since arcane season one I have wondered how we were going to go from this version of Viktor, an innocent inventor trying to do the best for humanity, best friends(👀) with Jayce, only wanting to improve and save lives. To The Machine Herald we know in LOL. Now it is clear they are truly recreating his character entirely. Evolving him some could say.

Viktor in game is a character who wants to bring in the evolution of machines and technology in the human race by force. He is unlikeable and brilliant. He gets along with almost no one and has gotten rid of his own emotions by operating on himself. I am very much paraphrasing all of this so forgive me if I miss some things.

"To solve this, he operated on himself to remove those parts of his flesh and psyche that relied upon or were inhibited by emotion."- LOL fandom wiki

"Currently, he is still dedicatedly working on bringing the Glorious Evolution to the people, and saving them from themselves." - LOL fandom wiki

“Viktor has shown little regard for free will and autonomy when dealing in matters of life and death.” -LOL fandom Wiki

In the game he augments himself purely with machines, technology, and his own wit. No arcane, no magic, no help from Jayce (to a degree he spurs on some of the change). But in the show oh in the show, he connects directly to the arcane!

Throughout season one we see Viktor struggling with his disability and chronic illness, his smallness and lack of, I don’t want say respect, maybe acknowledgement, compare to Jayce. He progressively gets sicker and sicker as time goes on causing him to look more and more into the hex core. Exploring its possibilities, pushing its limits, experimenting on himself. A trait they have kept the same between the version of the characters. Until it kills someone he cares about and he forbids himself from continuing his research, despite his declining health, and despite his very clear connecting to the hex core and by extension the arcane.

Going into season two it shows us who survives and who doesn’t. Viktor was not going to survive, but our boy Jayce, always a fire under him with no flame retardants, takes Viktor straight to the hex core. Jayce fuses Viktor and the hex core, irreversibly changing him forever. Viktor sits in this pool of wild runes(this is all information only with act one of arcane s2). Changing his body and healing and improving him. When he awakens he is different, disconnected, the air around him is different, a visible haze there, he has become one with the arcane. Jayce does not realize this, all he sees is his friend, who he would do anything for, alive, changed but alive and he just leaves him.

GIF credit to @ludinusdaleth

Viktor goes to the undercity in a very Jesus fashion, drawn by a pull and the voice of Sky, to the shimmer slums. He feels a purpose here. In the game lore he retreats after his credit for making Blitzcrank is stolen and he has been looked at with prejudice from those in piltover for his rather unethical ideas.

"Viktor devised a helmet that would allow an operator on the surface to bypass the wearer's fear-response and effectively control the diver... Jayce later reported the incident to the college masters, who then expelled Viktor for work that violated basic human dignity- work that, in Viktor's eyes, would have saved lives." -LOL Fandom Wiki

As the shimmer slum residents circle around him with intent to attack him and take his cane (now more of a staff) for its gold hardware to sell for my shimmer Viktor sees something, senses something. He doesn’t look at them with indignation or disgust, he looks at them with understanding, he sees their pain and their suffering and he walks close to the man who is holding a knife at him with no fear.

You can actually see him start to affect the man, in his eyes they change color from pale yellow to more blue, into dropping the knife. Only then when the knife is dropped does he take the final steps closure to him and heals him from the mutations of shimmer.

He has finally become what he set out to be in LOL. He is saving people, he is helping and healing humanity. Just now not through unethical(we will see how this part plays out) and more mechanical means, instead through the arcane and the abilities it has given him. Which I find very interesting seeing Viktor wield the arcane is something Jayce has always wanted and what began their friendship.

I am genuinely so excited to see where Arcane s2 takes his character. I can see why he wasn’t in any promotional material at all now, it would have given too much away. There is a scene in the trailer towards the end though that actually shows the people of the shimmer slums healed and floating when the trailer says "The Arcane is waking up" which i find super cool.

ngl does look a little questionable but I'm here for it.

I do want to say that I do not believe he is being “controlled” or “possessed” by the hex core. He was fused with and became one with the arcane and hex core. Throughout episode two/three we see parallels with the wild runes and magics to Viktor that Jayce Echo and Heimendinger discover in the hex cage(?).

I will not be surprised if this becomes very outdated by the end of season two but they are my current feelings/observations immediately after my watch of act one.

[skyfallscotland]

My first book of 2025! 🥳

Just For the Summer by Abby Jimenez

Sometimes the best way to show love or be kind to someone is to meet them where they are.”

I'd seen people raving about this one everywhere, and the kindle edition went on sale for $4.99, so I bought it. I found out almost immediately after that, that it's third in a series (oops!) but oh well.

A friend told me it shouldn't matter that much, and it didn't, but there were times where little call backs were obviously being made, but I didn't have the context to understand them. It wasn't a big deal, but if that would impact your reading experience, maybe read the first couple 😂

I liked all the main characters well enough, they all had completely normal names, which was nice (lol) and I'll say I enjoyed the book, though I'm not sure I think it was as amazing as other people have said, but it's well-known around these parts that I'm picky, so that probably won't come as a surprise.

Personally, I'm just not sure contemporary is really for me because I do find it a little boring.

One thing that really bugged me was that it's first-person past-tense, which just made my brain freak out for at least the first half of the book. It might be because I write in first-person present, or it might be that it is weird, I don't know, but for me, first-person past feels like you're telling me what happened to you all those years ago, and it just sucks the heart right out of it in some respects, generally. If I'm not experiencing it with you, what's the point of writing in first?

Apart from that, I also found some of the writing to be quite choppy, which...I know I write quite long-winded sentences so again, maybe it's just me, but this felt jarring sometimes. Eg:

I turned to look at her. “You could make one that does. You could always stay.” I couldn’t read the smile she gave me. I wished I could. I could ask her what she was thinking. She’d have to tell me.

and

Emma looked over at me and smiled, and I let myself hope. “You ready to go?” I asked. She shoved off the railing and we left.

Like???

But despite that, it was enjoyable, and at times there were some real gems that shone through and made me feel.

It was easier to pretend to be angry and tough than to admit to being devastated and heartbroken. And by the practiced way she wielded attitude, she’d been devastated and heartbroken for a long time.

“It’s like there’s a part of me that’s always small,” I whispered. ��And I don’t know why and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“You’re not asking too much,” he said. “You were just asking the wrong person.

Maybe it's just that I'd been writing beforehand, or maybe I'm just always thinking about her, but some of these are so Remi it hurts. I often have a gripe to pick with contemporary romances that bring in trauma in such a blatant way because they never explore it properly.

There was a lot going on in this book, and as expected, they never fully explore the scope of that trauma. They do the classic FMC is struggling with this mental illness and you can see it, but she won't realise it, she does, (sort of) third act breakup, oh look, timeskip, she's gone to therapy off screen for a few months and is magically better, happily ever after.

I think it's nice for it to be included as representation to an extent, I definitely think it did well within the scope of the word count to address it, but I also wonder if we needed to throw so many different things into the one novel, given the word count. I don't know, maybe it will settle better in hindsight and I shouldn't be writing this impression so soon after finishing, maybe I'm just not experienced in what most contemporary romances are like and I'll be pining for this representation later—I don't know.

I guess I'll find out, since reading more contemporary is one of my goals for the year. For now, I'll leave it with this 🥺

“Unhealed trauma is a crack. And all the little hard things that trickle into it that would have rolled off someone else, settle. Then when life gets cold, that crack gets bigger, longer, deeper. It makes new breaks. You don’t know how broken she was or what she was trying to do to fill those cracks. Being broken is not an excuse for bad behaviour, you still have to make good choices and do the right thing. But it can be the reason. And sometimes understanding the reason can be what helps you heal.”

And this:

But if you don’t think your life would be better without them in it, then accept that they have cracks. Try to understand how they got them and help fill them with something that isn’t ice.”

Let me know what you thought if you've read it! 🖤