#ill do other super kids later

[waywardducks]

I had this idea and I had to write it down so I'm writing here! What sport would the bat kids play in a non hero universe? I’ve seen other people do electives in general (which included some sports) but never seen someone do strictly sport. So I'm here to do just that!!

Dick is in gymnastics, obviously, it’s a given. He does it because of his parents. It makes him feel sentimental to be able to replicate the same moves his parents invented. He knows he makes them proud with every flip or twist. It certainly makes Bruce proud.

I feel like Jason would be a swimmer? Why? Idk, he just gives swim team/theater kid vibes. He has the body type for it as well, with very broad shoulders. He probably started it bc Dick was doing a sport and he wanted to as well.

Tim is difficult. I want to say figure skating, (it’s my favorite sport tbh) he has the perfect body for it and I could see his parents having him do it from a young age. He definitely hates it at first, but slowly learns to love it as he gets older. The only other option I would have for him is cross country or track. But I’m not sure his parents would have him do that, (not sophisticated enough) so figure skating it is! He definitely skateboards more that figure skates though. He could go pro skateboarding if he wanted.

Stephanie is a tenis player. She loves cute mini skirts and all her stuff is purple. She probably joined for the outfits to begin with and stayed because she liked the game.

Cass is a ballerina, this is another given. She could totally go pro, but doesn't want to. She just does it because it's something that's always brought her joy.

Damian is probably in both soccer and fencing. He seems like an, “I’m doing everything at once” kinda kid. He’s probably in some form of marshal arts as well. I feel like Jon plays soccer, which is why Damian got into it.

Duke seems like a baseball fan if I’m being honest. He probably collects cards. Bruce probably took him to get signed merch at games. He definitely wants to play pro one day so he works hard. He’s not as athletic as his siblings (he didn’t start playing until he met was adopted) but he will be!

[yamujiburo]

Why I Love Hanamusa

I get this question very frequently but have never given a really in depth, definitive answer. All just kinda implied through my comics and spread out asks. So here's this I guess! Long post ahead:

First, as a Pokémon fan in her mid 20s, I love seeing a ship where the characters are both in their mid/late 20s. Already, they’re much more relatable to me and my current experiences. Most Pokémon ships are between preteens, which can be cute but ultimately don’t interest me as much as they used to when I was a kid myself. Not enough to get super invested in and draw a lot of fanart for anyways haha.

I’ll also start by saying that canon doesn’t always influence whether or not I’ll ship something. I’m much more drawn to potential. Could the characters work together? Do their personalities work together in a nice way? I feel like this so much of fanon is anyways. Especially with queer relationships because they’re rarely depicted in the first place. A lot of the context for these ships is usually up to the fans to piece together or make up in general. And that’s the fun part to me!

Jessie and Delia have only met in the anime a handful of times. Any interaction they’ve had has either been pleasant, or just a typical Team Rocket interaction, with Delia dismissing them/not seeing them as a threat. Already a great jumping off point for me since, truly, they don’t have any actual beef or true, ill feelings towards each other. It’s not TOO out of the realm of possibility for them to potentially fall for each other. “But Jessie chased Delia’s son around trying to steal his Pokémon!” That’s where that dismissive and aloof attitude that Delia has comes into play. I’ll go more into Delia’s whole deal a bit later but I do think this aspect of her personality is a large reason why this ship can work. It’s not that she doesn’t care that Jessie has a bad past, but she can tell that, on the inside, Jessie’s a good person. And, in a scenario where Jessie is trying to become a better person, is forgiving enough to give her a shot. I feel like this is such a solid foundation for a ship. A character who has done wrong but is trying to be better and another character who is willing to help them be better. A classic dynamic!

It’s not just one-sided though; where Jessie is the only one benefitting and learning from the relationship. I believe Delia could get a lot out of being with someone like Jessie. To understand why, I think it’s important to know these characters’ respective backstories.

Jessie is an orphan/foster child who grew up in poverty. Her mother Miyamoto (from The Birth of Mewtwo) was a Team Rocket operative herself, who went on a mission to find Mew. In order to do this, she had to leave Jessie when she was just a toddler. Unfortunately, Miyamoto went MIA on her mission leaving Jessie to more or less fend for herself. Jessie went through life with zero stability, evident by her MANY different careers and constant moving around. It’s implied in the show that she went from foster home to foster home, and later in life tried being an idol, weather girl, florist, wine connoisseur, actress, most notably a nurse and finally a Team Rocket field agent. And even while in Team Rocket, she, James and Meowth were always doing odd jobs to get by. We see that Jessie used to be a sweet kid, and even adult, but the world and her circumstances repeatedly did her dirty, leading her to become the character we know today. Hot tempered, mean, selfish, etc. But despite this, her soft side does still shine through for the people and Pokémon she cares about. She is incredibly loyal.

Delia, unbeknownst to a lot of fans, also had a rough past (see Pocket Monsters: The Animation). Like Jessie, she had a lot of dreams and aspirations like wanting to be a model and even a trainer. But when she was 10, her mother didn’t let her, telling her that she had to stay home and learn to run the family restaurant (she’s an only child). Delia’s father left her and her mother to be a trainer, and never returned. When she was 18, she married Ash’s father and became pregnant shortly after. But right after Ash was born, he also set off to be a Pokémon trainer. And soon after that, her mother passed away, leaving Delia with just the restaurant and baby Ash. This gives so much context to Delia’s attitude in the show. We see that Delia is pained whenever Ash leaves on a journey, but she never shows that pain to anyone. ESPECIALLY Ash. She’s very quick to shoo him off when he shows any sign of wanting to go on another journey and even when he returns home, she acts more excited to see Pikachu than him almost every time. Without all this backstory, it’s easy to just read this as a funny gag, BUT with context, I think it really shows how quickly Delia shuts down and detaches in order to not confront her own feelings. She’s afraid of losing people and getting hurt again.

All that said, I think Jessie and Delia provide each other with EXACTLY what the other needs. 

Aside from becoming rich and famous, Jessie’s biggest aspiration is to get married. In my opinion, this is more so an underlying want for love and stability. There is no one more stable in the show than Delia. Delia’s lived in Pallet her whole life, she’s worked at the same restaurant since she was young and she is always there when Ash comes back home. She has all the love, patience and stability Jessie needs and craves. While forgiving, Delia’s not stupid and can keep Jessie in check. Delia’s also just an angel, which I feel, would make Jessie want to be better. And on top of all this, on more of a surface level, Delia’s a chef and excellent cook. She shows love through cooking and Jessie, who grew up poor, regularly starving and eating snow, happily receives that love. Jessie’s able to live a happy and healthy life with someone like Delia.

Delia, as stated, is very stable. Likely pretty monotonous and solitary, especially living in such a small town like Pallet. This isn’t a bad thing but it’s a little sad when you consider that Delia also had dreams of traveling, being a model and a trainer. She had to give up so many dreams in order to fulfill her duties as a restaurant owner and mother. And even now, when Ash is off on his journey, she feels the need to always be home and be that stable pillar, leaving behind any ambitions she had, thinking it’s too late for her (she’s only 29 btw). But then along comes Jessie, dangerous, passionate, an absolute firecracker. Someone who’s whole life has been about chasing dreams and either, never giving up on them or finding a new dream to chase. Upon learning about Delia’s past aspirations, I could see Jessie pushing her towards them, letting her know that life’s too short and she has nothing to lose from trying. On top of this, Jessie’s also loyal. She, James and Meowth are depicted as doing anything for anyone who gives them food or shows them kindness. Delia does both so there’s no way Jessie would leave her. This fulfills an essential need for Delia, who is afraid of the people in her life leaving her.

There’s so much potential for mutual growth and learning between these two and I adore that. They compliment each other, they help each other and they bring out the best qualities in one another.

I’m not really sure how to end this and I could truly talk about them even more but I don’t want this to be tooooo long haha. OH I could end it with maybe the most funny aspect of this ship that I've brushed over and also what drew me to it in the first place. Jessie. As Ash’s stepmom. THE END.

[tizeline]

Bro that angst potential ur separated au is keeping me up at night. You've said since Mikey would be a powerhouse due to training at such an early age, would it be safe to assume that Leo & raph are too? They've been mastering their ninpo 4 years? And if yes then dam they must be tanks. Must be a force to be reckoned with the bros and drax being all chaotic. Did they start to train so early bcuz drax only saw them as soldiers n stuff? Drax sure must've softened over the years huh guess he couldn't handle the cute lil menaces lol. Is Donnie aware of his own ninpo yet? I'm imagining him going up against the others with all his cool tech and then they whip out this anime magic ass superpower out of nowhere. Like meeting others like u after years of thinking u were the only one must be at least baffling right, now it turns out magic is real too. And he's gonna have it too(Not to mention the bro bomb waiting to drop on his head). Would his insecurities rise after witnessing all that?

Sorry I just absolutely LOVE ur au friend, i have a ton of questions but ill hold it 4 ltr. I'm really excited to see where you take it :)) -🌾

Oh man, Anon, glad to see you so excited haha!

Just a heads up, I'm still figuring out the story of the AU, so I don't know all the specifics yet, but here are some of my thoughts. And also, this became a bit of a ramble, that's what you get when you send long asks lol /lh

The way I'm thinking how Draxum is gonna be like in this AU is that he didn't view himself as the turtles' father initially, not really because he only viewed them as mere tools for him to use, he always saw them as people with induviduality. But rather, he hadn't really connected the dots that creating children + raising said children = parenthood, which led to Draxum like a year after mutating the turtles having the sudden realization one day of "OH SHIT AM I A DAD!?" and having a mini crisis because of that.

Anyway, while I don't think Draxum is the perfect dad in this AU by any means, he does genuinely care about his kids. (If Mikey managed to win Draxum over in canon after having spent a whole season fighting each other, there's no way he'd care about Mikey any less in a scenario where they've been on the same side since day one like they have in this AU.) He started training the turles from an early age and they are expected to help him with his Definitely Not Evil World Domination Plan, but they are still allowed free time and hobbies and such. And aside from some "ugh I don't wanna train right now I wanna play vidya gaemes" occasionally, the turtles never really opposed the idea of them becoming Draxums super soldiers. Kids are really easily influenced and if your parent keeps telling you that you are the heroes who are gonna save the world from evil, chances are you're gonna latch on to that narrative without question. But after meeting Donnie and April, who knows, it might be what finally starts making the other turtles question if their cause really is as just as they think :) That being said, I still have to figure out how Draxum would react exactly to his sons starting to oppose his world view.

Then their abilities! I also have to do more reasearch into exactly how the magic system works in RoTMNT cuz uhhh it's a bit unclear sometimes. Anyway, ninpo is specifically the magic used by the Hamato clan, and considering Raph, Leo and Mikey weren't raised as Hamato I don't think they would have access to that specific type of magic (though I still think they'd be be able to possibly unlock it later down the line) They would still have access to yokai magic, and of course the mystic weapons that they stole in the show would just have been given to them in AU by Draxum. And oh yeah, the brothers are powerful. To be fair, Donnie was able to keep up with Draxum pretty well in the pilot episode, so he wouldn't be COMPLETELY outmatched by his brothers. His tech is powerful enough that he'd be able to put up a decent fight even if he lacks mystic powers himself but..... three against one? Yeah, Donnie isn't winning any time soon. The biggest advantage he'd have would honestly be that his brothers wouldn't really WANT to fight him cuz they'd be all like "Long Lost Brother™??? 😭😭😭 Please come home Long Lost Brother™ we love you!!! 😭😭😭"

And I think Splinter would have kept both of their origins secret initially like he did in the show, so Donnie would't have any ninpo either, but I also think Donnie would still learn about the whole Lou Jitsu and Genetically Modified Super Soldier thing earlier than in canon. And god, yeah, learning about all of that would definietly be A Lot, which is why I still need time to figure out Donnie's exact reaction sorry Anon you're gonna have to be patient XD

[juyeonszn]

SACRIFICE (EAT ME UP)

PAIRING lee hyunjae x f!reader

WORD COUNT 9.17k

GENRES horror ﹒ smut ﹒ angst ﹒ fluff ig?

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, mentions of murder, descriptions of crime scenes, mentions of blood, mentions of knifes, graphic description of stab wounds, mentions of potential mental illness, THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT CONSTITUTE WARNINGS BUT ?!1?1 I DONT WANT TO SPOIL !1!2!2, Lots of Kissing, mutual masturbation (f! receiving fingering & m! receiving hand job), pillow talk ig, big dick hyunjae 😈, um unprotected sex lol be safe u silly geese, car sex, cowgirl position yeehaw, creampie, this entire fic is just a whole fucking roller coaster i stg it’s gonna haunt me forever

SUMMARY with a serial killer running rampant on campus, everyone around you seems to be dropping like flies. but, hey, at least you have hyunjae to protect you.

MORE omg.. my first written work for tbz 🙀 extra super fun fact; this was originally an idea i had for hyunjin from skz on my other blog that i actually started writing the week before halloween last year (the reason it’s a horror fic), but i never finished and sort of felt like there was no point in continuing it after a while— that is until i stumbled upon the draft a few weeks ago and decided to revamp, edit, and complete it 😋 i kept going back and rereading and then blanking when i wanted to add to it until last night when i said fuck it and drank two cups of coffee to power through the end 🙌 anyways.. here u all go, my baby that i never thought would see the light of day and my first time writing a genuine horror piece <3 also special shoutout to rina my soulmate @tsukidou for beta reading 🫶

PLAYLIST sacrifice (eat me up) — enhypen, awake — the boyz, roar — the boyz, fever — enhypen, fate — enhypen, taste — stray kids, wake up — ateez, white noise — pvris, heaven — pvris

“Alright, that’s all for today’s lecture. If this was your last of the day, make sure to find someone to go home with and remember the curfew rules!” Your English professor says, concluding the class.

The students around you rush to pack up their things and get off of campus as soon as possible. You don’t seem to be in a hurry, though, taking your time to put away your notebook and laptop. Your roommates were still in their music production class, so you didn’t want to go home alone, deciding to wait until they were done.

“Y/N, don’t you wanna get home?” Professor Park asks, her voice echoing in the now empty lecture hall. She throws the strap of her bag over her shoulder and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

“I do, but I have to wait for my roommates. They’re in a class right now and I’d rather not go by myself.” You let out an awkward laugh. She nods at your reasoning, giving you a small smile for comfort.

“Okay, you be careful! I’ll see you on Thursday.”

You raise your hand in a silent salutation, watching as she exits the room, leaving you completely alone. Though a public space, in a public building, the fact that there’s no one else nearby leaves you utterly unsettled. Your stomach churns with a twinge of fear and you start to feel a bit claustrophobic despite being in such a spacious area, so you choose this point to hurriedly collect your belongings and get the hell out of there.

The past couple of months have been in this weird state of limbo. You don’t recall exactly when the killings started, but once the police noticed a pattern, everyone knew sooner or later that the presence of a serial murderer would be announced on the local news. Your town enforced a citywide curfew to protect its citizens, but mostly the students at your university.

Every single one of the killer’s victims were university students. You were friends with a bunch of guys and while it was nice having big strong men surrounding you, you knew that could hardly do anything to quell the lingering anxiety you’ve felt ever since the spree began.

The police seemed to be having trouble coming up with any possible suspects, or even gaining any leads, thanks to the killer’s unusual victimology and the cool down time between murders always varying. If the people in charge of protecting you couldn’t do that, how were you supposed to feel safe?

In an attempt to get to the building where Jacob, Kevin, and Eric were as fast as you could, you speed walk out of the lecture hall, accidentally bumping into someone. You bow at a nearly ninety-degree angle and hurl out apology after apology following the collision, not trying to make any enemies in this day and time.

“Watch where you’re going, idiot.” The stranger spits, waiting for you to glance up at him to give you a nasty glare. He looks like the kind of guy who thought he was all that, despite peaking in high school. You feel your bottom lip quiver and you avoid eye contact.

“I—”

“Woah, dude, chill the fuck out. It was an accident, I’m sure she didn’t— wait, N/N, is that you? Hey it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

There’s a familiar voice in your ears and a hand under your chin, forcing you to stand upright. Whoever you bumped into walks away with a scoff. You meet eyes with Lee Hyunjae, one of your dearest friends. He recognizes that hint of panic in your features and he frowns.

“I’m so sorry, Jae, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going—” Your breath is caught in your throat and you fumble over your words.

“Hey, hey, slow down,” he keeps a hold on your biceps. “It’s alright, I promise. He’s gone. What’s wrong?”

You shut your eyes tightly, feeling pathetic for causing such a scene for no apparent reason. Hyunjae guides you through your breathing, his focus trained on you the whole time. He always made you feel so comfortable.

“With everything that’s been going on, I’m just so paranoid and afraid of being alone. I wanted to go to the music department building and wait for the boys.” You finally explain once you’ve calmed down and the rise of your chest is even.

“How about this? I’ll take you home so you don’t have to stay on campus any longer.” He suggests, bringing up a hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. You nod slowly, gathering your bearings.

Hyunjae leads you to his car that’s parked in the lot closest to the building you were just in and the two of you make your way to your apartment. You’d been friends with your roommates for years now, meeting in eighth grade. You had just moved schools and happened to be put into a class with Eric Sohn, the most rambunctious boy you’d ever met. He thought you seemed really sweet upon first impression and decided to befriend you, introducing you to all of his friends in turn.

Aside from Eric, there was Sangyeon, Jacob, Younghoon, Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin, Changmin, Chanhee, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo. While it was a little overwhelming, it was nice going from zero friends to eleven in the span of just a couple days. You were pretty close to all of them, but you and Hyunjae initially hit it off the best. You understood each other on a different level than everyone else and to this day, you still don't know the exact reason why.

Towards the end of high school, your friendship with Hyunjae transformed into something that wasn’t purely platonic. You weren’t entirely sure when it started to change, but your feelings for him grew exponentially. You tried to keep them to yourself, hidden from the world to preserve your fragile teenage heart. Though you’d already been friends with them a few years at that point, you still had that inkling of dread in the pit of your stomach that one day they’d choose to stop talking to you. You especially didn’t want a silly crush to be the cause of that.

After a while, however, the lines began to blur together anyway and everyone could tell you felt for him romantically. Once, Eric had made a comment about it being so painfully obvious that Hyunjae was just as into you and it nearly shook your whole world.

When college time rolled around, you all knew you’d be attending the same university, so picking roommates was a bit of a tricky situation. You chose yours solely based on the fact that you were majoring in similar things, so it’d be easy to fit schedules together. (You also couldn’t handle being roommates with Hyunjae; it’d be too much for your heart.) Hyunjae lived with Juyeon, Changmin, and Sunwoo, while Sangyeon, Younghoon, Chanhee, and Haknyeon lived together.

Hyunjae parks in a spot near the stairs that lead to your unit. The car is still running when you unbuckle your seatbelt and you stare at the steps blankly. Though the close proximity with him has your pulse racing, you want nothing more than some company until your roommates get home. You turn to him shyly, balling up a fistful of your sweater.

“Jae, do you— do you think you could stay with me for a bit before the boys come back? I don’t— I really don’t wanna be alone right now.”

The look he gives you is full of adoration, like you personally put the stars in the sky. He smiles softly and nods, reaching across the center console to place a comforting hand on top of yours. The two of you keep them intertwined as you go inside your apartment, locking all the locks carefully before sitting on your couch.

You don’t make a comment about him not letting go despite already being in the safety of your home. You don’t say anything about him pulling you into his side either, mostly because you want him to.

With all that’s been happening recently, you’ve felt so hollow. There was this indescribable emptiness expanding in you and even though you so desperately wanted to chalk it up to something else, you knew it was due to the fact that there was growing anxiety that you could be next, that any of your friends could be next. You were starting to move like you were in a simulation, doing everything in your daily routine without a single emotion. Sure, you’d laugh when Eric made a stupid joke but that’s about the most anyone could get from you aside from the occasional panic attack.

Hyunjae being here and holding you is exactly what you needed to feel some semblance of warmth again.

There’s a soft knock on your bedroom door around eight that same night, waking you from your slumber. You don’t remember falling asleep or being moved to your bed, so you’re not too sure when Hyunjae left. You rub the sleep from your eyes as you get up to open your door.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you, but we got some takeout if you’re hungry.” Jacob says with an apologetic smile, leaning on the door frame.

You give him a bleary look as you nod, following him into the dining room where your other two roommates were sitting at the table. Eric greets you through a full mouth. A small laugh escapes you when you sit across from him, Kevin adjacent to your seat. The sound of the TV in the living room plays as background noise as the four of you eat.

“So when’d you get home? I thought you were gonna wait for us.” Kevin asks.

“I was, but then I ran into Hyunjae when I was on my way to your building and he offered to bring me home,” you shrug, taking some tteokbokki with your chopsticks. “It was a whole thing, please don’t ask.”

Eric hums to himself, a mischievous grin on his face as he takes a sip of his cola. “Interesting. And you say he’s not into you…”

Heat blooms over your cheeks and you accidentally drop your chopsticks on your plate, their clacking against the ceramic garnering your roommates’ attention. Eric Sohn was now number one on your hit list. Kevin elbows him in the side and tells him to be quiet, despite the tiny upwards curve of his lips.

“If he cares about you as much as he seems like he does, he wouldn’t have left you here alone after you fell asleep,” Jacob mutters, looking at you from his peripherals. “What was the point of escorting you home if—”

“Jacob shut the fuck up,” Eric suddenly blurts, the three of you stare at him as he clambers over to the living room, turning up the volume on the TV. “Look!”

You turn in your chair, your stomach churning at the news report unfolding before you.

“We’re live just outside SNU, where another victim has been found. The body hasn’t been identified yet, but from what we do know, he was a student that attended the school,” the female reporter says into the microphone she’s holding, a glazed over expression in her eyes. “Crime Scene Investigators believe he was murdered at around six this evening, and was assumed to have been making his way home from campus. Updates are expected to come later tonight once we have more information.”

You know that far away, checked out gaze she had all too well. She’s reported on the killings for a while now, no doubt numb to the way things were at this point.

Your appetite spoils immediately and you excuse yourself from the table, making your way back to your room. You sit on your bed and bring your knees to your chest, taking a deep breath in, then covering your mouth when you breathe out to muffle the sob that follows. It was becoming too overwhelming for you and there was nothing you could do about it besides sit back and watch.

It was understandable for anyone in your situation to feel hopeless, how could they not? With someone terrorizing the city in an unpredictable manner, there was no sense of normalcy in anyone’s life. You shudder when you finally bring yourself to stop crying, digging your nails into the fat of your calves.

Through the walls, you can hear the boys talking, voices solemn.

“Why’d you have to put the TV louder, dumbass?”

“Sorry, I just like being up to date on the case, you know? I want to be prepared. What if I need to learn clone jutsu to take out the guy?”

“Eric, you’re such a clown, oh my god.”

“I get that you’re interested and all, but you have to be mindful of Y/N. You know how much this has affected her both emotionally and physically, she doesn’t need the constant reminder that it’s happening. And I’d appreciate if you apologized for telling me to ‘shut the fuck up’.”

There’s a snort in between.

“My bad, I didn’t mean to be rude about it. But while we’re on the topic, I think we both need to admit our mistakes. What you said about Hyunjae to her wasn’t cool either. I know we’re all friends, but it just came across too—”

“It was really snappy, Jacob. And a bit petty.”

“Yeah! What Kevin said.”

“I— you’re right. I just don’t want her getting hurt, in more ways than one.”

You don’t hear much else from the trio and sigh heavily, dragging your hands down your face and wiping your eyes with the heels of your palms. You grab your phone from your nightstand and hesitantly search for Hyunjae’s contact, the line ringing a couple times before he answers.

“Y/N? Is everything okay? Did something happen?”

“N-no, I’m fine. I was just— I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay,” you mess with your bottom lip. “I heard there was another victim and I didn’t know when you left the apartment, so I just— uh— I just needed to know that you were safe. I called to see if you’d answer.”

You squeeze your eyes shut out of embarrassment, even if he can’t exactly see you. The stuttering was enough to make you go into hiding for the rest of your life if this serial killer didn’t.

“Oh,” you can hear the slight chuckle in his response from the way his breath hits the speaker. “It means a lot that you’d do that, N/N. Really, I appreciate you so much.”

Your lip finds itself between your teeth and your heart is pounding unbearably fast, you think you might be having a heart attack. You bring a hand up to clutch at your chest as a fuzzy feeling courses through your whole being.

Now you were scared for an entirely different reason.

(The main one occupies your mind again later that night when you scroll through your Twitter feed, only to find out the most recent victim was the guy you accidentally bumped into. You feel like some sick version of a guardian angel was looking after you. It makes it hard to fall asleep after that.)

A couple days passed and you found yourself thinking about Lee Hyunjae more than usual.

Not to say that you didn’t already think about him at least once a day, but now it was worse. When you woke up, you wondered if he was still asleep. While you drank your morning coffee, you wondered if it’d taste sweeter had he made it for you. When you had lunch, you wondered if he’d like the spam musubi you made yourself. When you attended your other classes, you wondered which courses he was struggling with this semester.

As you were walking out of your English class, you recalled running into him. Had he not been there, you might’ve driven yourself insane trying to rush over to the music building while diffusing the issue with that stranger.

When you first began to harbor feelings for him, you assumed it would become nothing more than a silly schoolgirl crush. He was attractive and kind to you, but that was just the bare minimum— you thought you’d grow out of it. However, as time went on, what you thought was just puppy love had blossomed into something stronger. It was a force to be reckoned with.

Of course, all of that had been tossed on the back burner with everything that’s going on. Recently you’ve been too afraid for your own safety and well-being to over analyze your interactions with Hyunjae, but now you’re back to square one.

All because he’d done something nice for you.

God, the bar was so low. Was it really too much to ask for someone who was decent? Someone who wasn’t a serial killer?

You were on your way to the music building to wait for Jacob, Kevin, and Eric once again, when you see Hyunjae coming down the hall. He’s on his phone, not paying any mind to his surroundings. You’re about to call out to him when someone stops you, tugging on the sleeve of your sweater gently.

“Hey, Y/N right?” The tall boy asks, a charming smile on his face.

“Uh— yeah,” you nod, tucking some hair behind your ear. “Y-you are?”

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I must seem like a total weirdo,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m Mingyu! We have English together.”

“Oh, you’re Mingyu? Professor Park told me about you before class today,” you give him a small comforting smile. “I don’t mind helping you!”

“Ah, that’s great to hear. I was a bit worried you’d be more annoyed about having to tutor someone so late in the semester.” Though he’s much taller than you and approached you first, Mingyu comes across as a little shy in nature. It puts you at ease in a way.

“No, not at all! English isn’t always the easiest, I get that. I wanna help as much as I can before finals. Look,” you pause, pulling your backpack off one shoulder to rip out a sheet of paper. “I’ll give you my number so we can arrange meet up dates! I’d prefer if we met at the library if that’s okay with you?”

Mingyu grins and sports a thumbs up in agreement. “That sounds perfect. Thank you so much, Y/N!”

You scribble your phone number onto the paper and hand it to him before parting ways. With the off guard conversation, you nearly forgot about Hyunjae, who was nowhere to be seen now. You feel your lips droop into a frown, since you were hoping you could talk with him for a second.

As you’re walking across the quad to the music building, a wind chill blows past you, making you wrap your arms around yourself. It was mid November and for some stupid reason, you were only wearing a small cardigan.

When you squint up at the sky, you also realize it’s more overcast than anything. There’s an angry grey cloud right above you and you curse yourself for not having an umbrella or a raincoat. You should've been more prepared, especially because of the inconsistent weather this time of year.

Suddenly, the sky is blocked from your view and you furrow your brows, spinning around. Hyunjae stares back at you with a smile ten times warmer than the frigid air surrounding you and a thicker jacket in one hand. The other holds up an umbrella just as tiny droplets begin to fall from above.

His timing couldn’t have been better.

“Heading to the music building?” He asks, skillfully placing the coat on your shoulders.

“Mhm… was gonna wait for the boys.” You respond, a little awestruck by how gorgeous he was. Especially up close. Your eyes fixate on the freckle on his nose rather than his own. He hums, keeping an arm around your shoulders as he leads you in a different direction.

“I can take you home again,” he glances down at you. “I don’t mind one bit.”

“O-okay!”

During the car ride to your apartment, you send a quick text to your roommates about not waiting up. You were happy that your relationship with Hyunjae was evolving. The past couple semesters had been rough, and you hadn’t seen him or any of the other guys nearly as much as Jacob, Kevin, and Eric. (And that was only because you lived with them.)

You toss your keys on to the mini table beside the front door, taking off your shoes with a small groan. The boots were cute, but not very comfortable. Hyunjae follows suit, his sock clad feet shuffling against the floor to sit on the couch.

After switching on the TV, you find a random Hallmark Christmas movie to play in the background, knowing full well that his presence beside you was too distracting. The brunette turns to face you, placing a hand on your thigh gently to get your attention.

“So, who was the dude you were talking to earlier?”

You blink at his question. So he saw you after all. Was he perhaps jealous? The idea shouldn’t make you giddy, but it does. “My professor asked me to tutor him ‘cause he’s struggling with English. Why?”

“Just curious. He seemed a little touchy.” Hyunjae plays with the hem of your sweater.

“O-oh. It’s fine, he wasn’t a random perv, if that’s what you were wondering.”

He scoots a little closer to you, tucking some hair behind your ear. You feel your face flush impossibly hotter. Your heart is racing and your breath is caught in your throat. His body heat radiates off of him with the new proximity.

“Good. It drives me crazy seeing other guys put their hands on you.” He admits bluntly, his hand resting at the junction where your neck meets your shoulder.

You know you look insane, your chest heaving up and down and your eyes widened a little. Like a baby deer caught by a predator. Who knew sweet sweet Hyunjae had a rather risqué side to him? You swallow thickly, not daring to move an inch. His thumb caresses your skin gently, goosebumps littering in its wake.

“Hyunjae…” You breathe, lips parting as you finally make eye contact with him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/N.”

You want to scream into the cushion behind you, your hands clamming up. Hyunjae looks like he could swallow you whole if he wanted to, his bottom lip between his teeth as he leans in a bit more. This moment was something straight out of one of your darkest fantasies. You never thought this would ever happen, that either of you would ever actually make a move on the other.

The sound of the front door unlocking catches both of your attention. Hyunjae pulls away from you faster than your brain can comprehend what exactly just occurred. Jacob is the first to walk in, laughing at something Eric said. The three males pause when they see you’re not alone.

The greetings are quick, Hyunjae dapping up the boys as if nothing. He’s also quick to say goodbye, ensuring them that he’ll make sure you’re safe when they’re not around. He gives you that smile of his, the one where his eyes form crescents, and then he’s gone.

You don’t know how much more of this you could take.

“So, Y/N…” Eric starts in the middle of dinner, side eyeing you as he shovels rice into his mouth. “You and Hyunjae have been together an awful lot lately.”

Kevin snorts, kicking the blonde under the table. You suppose it was going to come up eventually. This ‘Will They, Won’t They’ back and forth shit was starting to tire you out. You weren’t getting any younger. Time was passing you up the longer you waited to just say something. And with all that’s been going on, it was silly to be afraid of admitting your feelings.

“He’s being a good friend, Eric,” Jacob sighs, reaching across to flick him on the forehead. “It’s actually really nice that he watches over Y/N when we’re gone.”

Eric grimaces, rubbing the spot that Jacob assaulted. You frown a bit when you realize that he had a point. Hyunjae was treating you like a child that had to be tended to, babysitting you like you weren’t capable of holding your own. Granted, both times he’s come over, you asked him to. So you couldn’t really blame him for assuming you wanted him around to protect you.

“Do y’all think Hyunjae actually likes me? In a non-platonic way?”

Kevin’s spoon clatters onto the floor and they all pause their banter to look at you. Every time your feelings for Hyunjae were brought up, you chose to ignore them and switch the subject. You can’t keep running away.

“Uh— yeah. Duh. Of course he does. I don’t know anyone else who would go out of their way to stay with someone they saw as just a friend multiple times a week so she felt safe.” Kevin finally answers after a moment.

“Okay.” You settle on, taking a sip of your water.

“What do you mean ‘okay’?” He raises an eyebrow at you, but you just shrug.

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

As you’re washing the dishes after dinner, you hear the news broadcast over the faucet. Another victim had just been found behind the campus library. The camera shows the scene behind the reporter, something that would’ve made you queasy a couple days ago, but now you feel nothing— just a dull ache in your chest. It’s messy, almost like the killer was in a hurry to get it over with.

The body is covered with a black tarp, paramedics wheeling it away in the corner of the screen. The reporter still wears that dissociated expression on her face as she goes over the details of this victim. She explains that because the murder was done so haphazardly, they were able to identify the body easily.

Twenty three year old Kim Mingyu, Sports Med Major.

The rest of the news report sounds like static in your ears as you scrub away at the dishes mindlessly. Your fingers have pruned and the water was burning the backs of your hands, but you don’t feel it, too checked out to care. It seemed like the killings were getting closer and closer to you. Part of you thought you’d be next every single time.

You had to tell Hyunjae how you felt. It was now or never.

Fifteen minutes later, he’s waiting outside of your apartment complex, leaning against his car. You take careful steps down the stairs, nearly fainting at the sight of him in a hoodie and grey sweatpants. He runs around the car to open the passenger door for you, only shutting it when you’re all buckled up. It’s not long after that he revs the engine and drives off to nowhere in particular, just like you requested. (Curfew ignored.)

It’s silent at first, save for the low hum of his music, R&B that resonates somewhere within your soul. You can’t help but steal a glance from your peripheral, fisting your sweatshirt when you see how concentrated he looks while driving. He has his right hand resting on the gear shift, the other gripping the wheel. You could’ve had this view all to yourself so long ago had you just spoken up.

“Hyunjae,” your voice is wobbly, but you steel yourself to continue. “I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?” He asks, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Do you think— uh— do you think you could pull over?” If you were going to confess, you wanted him to look at you. Besides, the drive was starting to make you jittery.

He nods and goes a bit further, before pulling into an empty lot. He shifts into park, unbuckling his seatbelt so he could turn his body towards you, giving you his undivided attention. You mirror him, tightening your hold on your sweater when he wets his lips, smiling at you. “Is this what you called me for?”

“Yeah, actually,” you force yourself to keep eye contact, pushing the lump back down your throat. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for years now, if I’m being honest with both of us.”

He chuckles, much like he did the other night over the phone. It drives you just a little crazy. “I’m listening.”

“I— I don’t know how to word this properly…” You wipe your palms on your legs. Come on, Y/N, spit it out already. “Fuck, okay, I like you Hyunjae. Like, really like you. In the way that I sometimes wish you would kiss me until I can’t breathe. I’ve been so afraid of admitting that to myself, but I’ve realized that life is way too short to dwell over the fear of rejection. But please, tell me you feel the same.”

He stares at you with an indecipherable look in his eyes. You feel like throwing up now, you stomach twisting and churning at the thought that you just ruined everything between you. There was no going back after this. He knew.

It’s as if months have passed by in utter silence with Hyunjae just sitting there, no words coming out of his mouth, until finally, he just leans across the center console, cupping your cheek with one of his hands. His vision is trained on your lips, his face close enough that his lashes flutter against your skin. God, he was even more gorgeous from this distance.

Instead of saying anything, he presses his lips to yours, a sweet but desperate kiss that melts away all the worries tucked into your head. They feel so soft on your own, molding together in near perfect timing. It’s like you’d been living for a year without rain and this kiss was the shower that saved you from a drought. It’s all you’ve ever wanted and needed and more.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he breathes when he pulls away slightly. “The real thing is so much better than I imagined it would be.”

For once, time slows down in this moment, almost like the world stopped spinning on its axis. Everything slips from your mind and it’s just you and Hyunjae, here in his car in the middle of an empty parking lot. Nothing else matters. You smile at his confession, a genuine smile that was spurred on by contentment rather than force. You felt light and airy, no longer weighed down by such a trivial problem.

“I think I have an idea,” you giggle, reaching up to brush a stray hair from his face. “I’m not too sure, though, I could be wrong. Could you do that again to help jog my memory?”

Hyunjae laughs, (it’s the most melodic sound you’ve ever heard) but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you. You reciprocate his passion, tangling your fingers in his dark hair. He sighs into the kiss, pulling you on top of him. Your legs straddle his lap as best as they can and he reaches down to recline his seat, scooting it as far as it can go from the wheel. The thin material of your fleece shorts hardly hide the feeling of him under you, a low moan pushing into his mouth.

He nips at your bottom lip, tugging at it with his teeth gently before peppering kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking along the exposed skin from your sweatshirt. You whine, throwing your head back as his tongue soothes over the bruising area. His hands slide under your top, rubbing up and down your sides before moving them down to your thighs, repeating the action.

“You’re so gorgeous on top of me like this, Y/N.” Hyunjae says, just above a whisper like someone else might hear this intimate conversation. He grips your hips and bucks upwards to grind into your clothed core. Your eyes widen and you involuntarily moan at the sensation. This wasn’t what you were expecting when you planned to confess, but you didn’t hate the outcome. He grins at your response, reconnecting your mouths sloppily.

If you were given the choice, you were wholeheartedly satisfied with just this. You would’ve been plenty okay with just making out. Had you been asked years ago that you’d even get this far, you would’ve snorted in your own face, so why should you be greedy and want more than what you had? (That’s not to say that you didn’t.)

“H-Hyunjae,” you stutter, your brain foggy from all of the kissing you just did. “Do you…?”

You trail off, not sure how to word your question. You didn’t want to come off like a sex crazed maniac, but you didn’t want to come off like an amateur virgin either. Truth of the matter is, you were neither, but it had been a while since you indulged yourself in something of this sort. And this time it would be with Hyunjae, the one person you never thought you’d do this with. You were nervous.

All you wanted was to be entwined with him in more ways than one. You wanted all of him— the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the sick, the healthy. He could do no wrong on your eyes and you wanted to show him that.

“Do I…?” Hyunjae trails off, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you want to make love… with me?” This had to be the single most mortifying moment of your life. You cover your face in humiliation, shying away from him when he sits up on his elbows.

“What kind of question is that?” He asks with a chuckle, prying your hands from your face so he could look you in the eyes. “If I could make love to you every hour of the day, for seven days a week, I would. I want you all the time, Y/N. Earlier today, before we got interrupted, I wanted to do unimaginable things to you.”

You hide yourself in the crook of his neck, your skin flushing hotter. Weren't you wearing too many layers? The car was starting to feel stuffy. Hyunjae’s chest rumbles with laughter beneath you, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear. This is probably the gentlest he’d be with you all night, because from what you could infer, he was a manhandler.

“Take care of me,” you breathe, mouth brushing against his pulse point. “Please.”

Hyunjae stops holding himself back. He’d do whatever you asked of him, only hoping you’d be tied to him in every lifetime, just like this one. He kisses you again with an unrivaled fervor, slipping his hands inside your sweatshirt and touching you everywhere physically possible. They’re warm on your skin, palming your breasts over the flimsy fabric of your bralette.

He helps you get rid of your top and shorts, leaving you in just undergarments. The sight of you barely clothed sends him into a frenzy, especially knowing it’s for his eyes only. You aid Hyunjae in pulling off his hoodie and yanking his sweatpants down his long legs. The minute most of your restrictions are gone, Hyunjae brings you closer to him. He hisses at the contact, the warmth of your cunt through your panties putting him under a spell.

You whimper when his touch travels down your front, sneaking into the waistband of your underwear. The pads of his middle and ring fingers apply the lightest amount of pressure onto your clit the second he finds it, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your nails on one hand dig into his shoulder while the other trails down his abdomen, rubbing up and down his length through his boxer briefs.

Hyunjae groans into your kiss and you gasp for air as you tear from him, resting your forehead on his to watch as you get each other off through your clothes. If earlier was something taken from one of your wet dreams, what did this constitute as? You clench around nothing when he pushes up into you, your wrists clashing. Knowing he was just as down bad for you as you were for him just made this all that much more real.

“I need to feel you around me,” he mumbles in your ear, dipping his fingers in and out of you languidly as if to explain what he meant. “Let me stretch you out.”

You nod in response, fumbling with his briefs. Hyunjae lifts his hips enough for you to help him out of them. You groan when he reveals his impressive size, wondering how exactly he expected you to take him. He pushes your panties to the side, mimicking the sound you just made when he sees your bare pussy drooling for him. You eventually get frustrated and line him up with your hole, sinking down in one fluid motion. A voluminous moan escapes from the back of your throat, his dick throbbing achingly inside of you. At first you stay still like that, your pelvises touching as you adjust to his length and girth.

“H-holy shit— you’re s-so deep, Jae,” you cry, resting your forehead against his yet again. He pecks your lips, holding onto your hips to help you bounce on his cock, practically impaling you every single time.

“Fuck, you’re taking me so well. Such a good fucking girl,” Hyunjae grunts, the warmth of your walls drawing him in even further. “So tight, too.”

Your thighs begin to burn and your movements become slower, which he takes note of instantaneously. He bends his knees and forces your upper half impossibly closer to him, thrusting up into you. This new angle allows him to find that one spongy spot that has you seeing stars, fogging up your brain and even your vision.

You cast a downward glance at the minimal space between where the two of you are connected. Your moans and whines grow louder with the view of every thrust of his hips into yours. Hyunjae sneaks his hand in the middle of you, his fingers expertly toying with your clit. Any more stimulation and the band in your stomach is snapping.

You’ve had sex before. You’ve slept with a handful of other guys in the past, but nothing could ever compare to this moment. Your cunt had already memorized his size and every vein, effectively ruining the chances of any other man doing this with you. Lee Hyunjae had you in a chokehold whether he realized it or not. He had you wrapped around his finger without really trying, but you could never complain.

Your walls squeeze his cock and he knows he won’t last much longer, shutting his eyes tightly. “C’mon baby, you gonna cum for me?”

“Mhm,” you whimper, your skin flush on his own. “Wanna cum so bad for you, Hyunjae.”

“Yeah? Me too, sweetheart,” he pants, the thumb on your hip pressing against the bone. “Where do you want me?”

“Inside,” you babble. “Please, please. I want you to cum inside me, Hyunjae.”

He kisses you softly just then, swallowing your pretty moans with something completely opposite of what he’s already given you, and that’s what sends you spiraling, fluttering around him. He groans, spilling into you and letting you milk him dry of everything he has to offer, painting your insides just like you asked him to.

You lay like that for a while, Hyunjae’s dick still buried in you to the hilt. Both of you attempt to catch your breaths and bring yourselves down from the well-anticipated euphoric state you just visited. You giggle at the condensation coating the windows of his car, extending your arm to draw a heart and a smiley face with your finger. He slowly pulls himself out, hissing at the sensitivity, but doesn’t make a move to get you off of his chest.

Where do you go from here? A line had just been crossed and you weren’t entirely sure you knew what he wanted from you. It’s one thing to imagine kissing and fucking someone extensively. But it was another to actually want a tangible, romantic relationship from them, to actually capacitate feelings for them.

“I love you,”

You jolt up and stare at him with widened eyes. Did those words really just come out of his mouth? As if he can read your mind, he nods. There’s a dragged out sigh, followed by him sitting up slightly with you perched on his lap.

“I really do, Y/N. I’ve felt this way for years and I’m willing to do anything for you.” He admits, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. You kiss him gently, the pad of your thumb swiping across his cheekbone.

“I love you, too.”

The Saturday after your night in Hyunjae’s car brought everything into perspective for you.

You hadn’t spoken to him since he dropped you off at your apartment and it was beginning to worry you. Even though you made sure he reciprocated your emotions, there still could’ve been a misunderstanding. Had you been too forward? Did you scare him away? Did something happen to him? Whatever the explanation was, you didn’t like the eerie feeling it started brewing in your stomach— it was foreboding.

In spite of not talking to them at all in what seemed to be a month or so, you tried calling each of your mutual friends to see if you could get some answers. Not even his roommates picked up their phones and this made you much more uneasy. You pace back and forth in your living room, nicking at your bottom lip with your nails. Why did he choose now of all times to ghost you? What went wrong?

Kevin comes out of his bedroom a couple minutes later, expecting to grab his morning coffee as usual. When he finds you nearly on the brink of insanity instead, he decides to intervene. He supposed his caffeine could wait until his best friend was calmed down. You jump in surprise, holding a fist to your chest. He raises his hands in mock surrender.

“Didn’t mean to startle you, my bad. What’s up? Why do you look like you’re going through a quarter life crisis?” Kevin asks you, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Is everything okay?”

“I—“ you pause and take a deep breath. “I don’t know…”

His eyebrows furrow and he guides you to the sofa so you could sit down. “What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?”

“Hyunjae hasn’t talked to me since Thursday night, after he brought me back here,” your voice is hoarser than you’d like it to be. “I-I texted and called him a bunch but he hasn’t replied. I even— I even tried Juyo, Sunwoo, and Changmin. No luck with them either. I’m concerned, Kev.”

Kevin combs through his hair, pursing his lips in thought. “Yeah, okay, I would be too. It's a little weird that none of them are responding. Have you thought of just showing up at his place to check in on him?”

You shake your head. “No, I didn’t want him to think I’m clingy and annoying in case he was there. What if he just wants to get me off of his back and he’s telling them to ignore me?”

“I don’t think that’s the case at all, Y/N,” your friend sighs, putting his glasses on top of his head and running a hand down his face. “Hyunjae has never been that kind of person in all the years we’ve known him. I highly doubt he’d switch up now. Plus, he’s literally crazy about you. I’m pretty sure the guy would move heaven and earth for you if he could. I think there’s a very real and genuine possibility that something is seriously wrong. It’s like— it’s just a gut feeling, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” If Kevin felt this way, too, that would only mean one thing, right? You had to get to the bottom of this. There was a chance that lives depended on it. A quick roll of your neck and you’re standing. “I’m gonna go over there. I can’t leave things unanswered. I can’t wait for a fucking news report.”

The ravenette pats the top of your head. “Be careful, N/N. Please.”

You give him a nod before you’re slipping into your shoes and grabbing his car keys. You’re not exactly dressed for a confrontation if there is one— clad in a pair of sweatpants, an oversized sweatshirt with your university’s crest on it, and socks with sandals— but you were too preoccupied to care.

The drive itself was mentally taxing, your brain dissociating most of the ride. You’re not sure how many of the lights you passed were actually green. The closer you got to Hyunjae’s apartment, the more that trepidation settling in your lower abdomen grew. Throughout your life, you’d never been the type of person who acted on instinct or had a nagging voice in the rear of your head warning you about situations you got into. You usually went with the flow and if you made a mistake, you allowed yourself to learn from it.

However, that was prior to being thrown into a period of uncertainty like this one. Now, all you could do was act on instinct. All you could do was listen to the stupid nagging voice in the rear of your head yelling at you. All you could do was follow the blaring alarms and caution signs in your field of vision. And this time they were almost deafening.

Kevin’s car rolls to a stop outside of Hyunjae’s building, occupying an empty spot three away from the front of the stairs. Your pulse races when you step out of the vehicle and immediately recognize the cars in the spaces beside yours. Hyunjae’s, Juyeon’s, and Changmin’s. You notice a thin layer of dirt caking Juyeon and Changmin’s, as if they’d remained unmoved for a long time. Perturbed wasn’t a big enough word to describe what was going through your mind.

Half of you was terrified to take a step towards the stairs, let alone ascend them to Hyunjae’s floor. What would go down when you reached his apartment? What would happen the moment that door opened?

You ball your hands into fists, the edges of your nails jabbing the skin of your palms. The pain steels you enough to move forward, walking up the stairs slowly. There’s a chill tiptoeing along your spine the whole trip up, like your body knew what you were getting yourself into before you did. Maybe you were stupid. Only an idiot would lead themselves blindly into a scenario without knowing the outcome.

It’s been minutes of you staring at the slightly rusted numbers on Hyunjae’s door before you register that you’re standing in front of it. If you're being honest, you have no idea what you’re doing. You were acting on autopilot— progressing without a thought of what’s coming next. A shuddered breath leaves your lips and you raise your knuckles to the door.

The first knock is too soft to hear if the inhabitants were in their bedrooms, so you apply more force the second time. The sound reverberates through the hall, a wince appearing on your features. If someone was inside, surely they had to have heard that one. You wait a little longer for the door to swing open and reveal one of your friends looking perfectly fine. For Juyeon to showcase that grin of his that reaches his eyes and ask what you were doing here. For Changmin to give you that sweet smile that puffed up his cheeks and ask what you needed. For Sunwoo to blow a raspberry before he laughed at how silly you were for stressing over them. For Hyunjae to reassure you that it was all going to be okay, that he loved you. You were praying for that.

But no one showed up on the other end of that doorway and you were stuck glaring at that same painted board of wood.

That’s what sends your instincts into overdrive. Your hand grabs the knob, twisting it just in case. It makes a full rotation, pushing open the door the tiniest bit. You peek inside carefully and find all the lights in the living room and kitchen off. Your teeth bite down on your lip as you enter the apartment. One of the things you hated about it, was the annoying buzz of the fluorescent lights in their bathroom. And for some reason, that was all that infiltrated your ears.

The door for said bathroom was cracked just a tad at the end of the hallway, but what caught your attention was the room closest to you— also cracked the most miniscule amount. You see light filtering through, an almost orange glow like that of a desk lamp. Your stupidity would be your downfall, you conclude, your feet gravitating to the room. It’s Hyunjae’s you recall when you’re outside of it. They always say curiosity killed the cat, and you couldn’t help but revert to a feline and nudge it open with your foot.

You really wished that saying was just that— a saying.

Eric sits ahead of you, tied to a chair in the middle of the room. There’s a piece of fabric gagging his mouth and his clothes are tattered, blood staining nearly every inch. A long gash runs along his left bicep and a myriad of smaller cuts litter his face and arms. What your focus lands on first are the several deep stab wounds on his thighs.

A hand comes up to cup your mouth to keep yourself from screaming at the sight of your best friend in this position. He struggles against his restraints, muffled cries for your assistance shattering your heart into a thousand pieces like broken shards of glass. Tear streaks mixed with dried blood cover the apples of his cheeks.

“Oh my god, Eric,” your voice wobbles as you scramble to free him. “Oh my god…”

You pull down the fabric in his mouth first and he gasps for air. His eyes widen at something behind you and he warns, “Y/N—!” before he’s interrupted by your yelp. The person pressed into your back has their arm around your neck with a hold tight enough that you can’t escape, but loose enough that you can breathe, the blunt edge of a knife grazing the column of your throat.

“Tsk tsk, Youngjae. You should know that making so much noise when your killer’s not in the room just alerts them of suspicious activity. That’s survival 101, my friend. Isn’t that right, sweet sweet Y/N?”

No.

No. No. No. No. No.

This wasn’t happening.

This couldn’t be happening.

“Please, let her go, Hyunjae.” Eric begs. Hyunjae hums, nuzzling his nose in your hair. He rolls his eyes and scoffs after inhaling your scent, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“God, you’re a mouthy one. Not even Juyeon and Sunwoo were this chatty when I slit their throats— then again, it's not like they could talk much anyway.” He snorts.

You felt sick. You were lightheaded now, just at the thought of your friends gone. “W-why are you doing this?”

Hyunjae grumbles, pouting his lips. “Time for me to unravel my evil villain monologue, huh?” He slips a hand under your sweatshirt and pinches the side of your waist. “Well here it is; what you’re dying to know. The first incident was by complete accident, we were simply having a discussion about why he shouldn’t have been staring at your ass while his girlfriend was next to him at Jeong Jaehyun’s end of summer bonfire. The dude got pissed off that I called him out and tried to start a fight, but I shoved him so hard, he fell and hit his head on a rock. I just couldn’t find it in myself to feel bad about it so I left him there like nothing. From then on, anyone who came between us or remotely hurt you in any way wound up on the receiving end of this knife. Funny isn’t it? How you’re the one beneath it this time?”

It all began to fall into place once he laid the cards out on the table for you to read. The guy you ran into Tuesday after class. Poor Kim Mingyu, who just wanted to pass his English final. Your friends not picking up their phones. And supposedly it was all in the name of love.

“Y-you did that for me?”

“Of course, baby,” Hyunjae mutters into the shell of your ear. “I said I’d protect you didn’t I? I just want you all to myself.”

“What the fuck does that possessive bullshit have to do with me? What did it have to do with Juyo or Changmin or Sunwoo?” Eric cries. “Oh god, what about—?”

“Sangyeon, Hoon, Chanhee, Hak? Yeah, those four were taken care of way before my own roommates. You, obviously, were the chosen one this go around. Then it would be Kevin and lastly, Jacob. I planned on stopping after you three unless absolutely necessary.”

“How is any of this fucking necessary? You’re psychotic,” the blonde exclaims, still wriggling in his restraints. “Why would Y/N want you after all of this? Did you really believe she’d never find out about what you’ve done?”

Hyunjae glides the smooth edge of the blade against your skin and releases you from his grip, but takes a hold of your wrist, placing the handle in your grasp. He urges you forward, closer to Eric. “If she was scared of me, don’t you think she would’ve tried harder to escape me? Didn’t even blink when I held the knife to her neck.”

The brunette kisses your temple and you watch the fear in Eric’s eyes morph into defeat. “After everything we’ve been through? I’ve known you since eighth grade, Y/N. Eighth fucking grade. And this is how it ends?”

“H-he loves me,” you stutter, glancing at Hyunjae. “Don’t you?”

“You don’t kill your best friends out of love, Y/N! He’s insane! Please, don’t let him get into your head. You’re not that kind of person.” Eric attempts to reason.

Maybe you weren’t. Maybe you were. Who knows? That didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that Hyunjae loved you. He loved you so much that he’d kill for you. Over and over and over again.

It was kind of comical that you loved him all the same. You, too, would kill for him. Over and over and over again.

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[lianhuajing]

this college au isn't getting out of my head so here y'all go, some headcanons

despite being the first in the world at age 15 LXY still ended up with crippling self-worth issues and imposter syndrome.. makes me think he'd be a burnt out fgli (first-generation low-income) student at a rich school.. university au (this has nothing to do at all with my experiences as a fgli student at an ivy league school lmaoo)

of course FDB is a shoo in legacy student and at first LLH is is incredibly annoyed bc FDB is clearly a rich kid who got in with his parents money

the name i picked for FDB is 择信 ("zéxìn" or "to choose faith"). his dad's name is 则仕 ("zéshì" literally "officer" the author is laugh at us so that zé didn't work, i picked another one to better fit my intention. same sound though.)

he's still called duobing as a nickname bc he was a sickly child, but fang zexin is what appears on official documents and his student id. of course his mom and his aunt still call him "xiaobao" and later on so does LLH

FDB abuses his "xiaohua" priviledges and when he extra wants something he'll pull out "xiaohua'er"

just them warming up to each other to deal with school stress. think of all the shenanigans!! i feel like 3am on a school campus is when you feel like you can do anything super well, even make empanadas when you've never made empanadas before (did i do this freshman year? yes.)

bonus: LXY has a phd in bio-med and is a famous researcher, but he's getting a herbology? nursing? (still deciding tbh) degree as LLH and passing it off as his first undergrad. he made a small fortune from his first go around so he can afford it, but i feel like he donated most of it and/or gave it to QMS + QP + SGD

yes i made LXY a genius progidy med student who got into college at 15 and wrangled a phd + patent at age 18. he's literally every asian parent's golden child wet dream. no wonder he disappeared and changed his name and only resurfaced 10 years later.

FDB is of course an engineering and business student (dual degree, our xiaobao is a champ) and he buys all the school swag cuz he has the spirit

bonus bonus: fdb is a professional college fencer lmaoo. do they have professional college martial arts?

bonus bonus li'er is a part of the family staff but the fang/he family pays handsomely so she's kinda uppity. she doesn't understand why her young master is hanging out with someone 1) obviously older and 2) obviously poorer

FDB of course falls in love at first sight bc LLH happens to be the most drop dead gorgeous person he's ever seen and reminds him vaguely of the researcher that helped with the cure to his childhood illness. surely there's no connection right..

FDB is 20 when he starts college bc he took a two year break to do an internship at his mother's company. it looks great on his resume and conveniently works well so i can line up canon ages

FDB finds out LLH is living in a van and immediately tries to move him into his dorm (freshman year). of course that doesn't work out, but i think around sophmore year, once they've started dating, he would've whittled down LLH enough for him to agree to live together in a house off-campus. LLH tries several times to convince the 20yo that he can do better than some old man who's just starting his undergrad at age 28 (my man breathes lies). FDB is literally signing their lease as he speaks.

bonus bonus bonus (and my fave): LLH makes those terrible tiktok recipes that never work but he keeps trying and the first couple of times FDB actually tries pretending that LLH's cooking is fantastic

bonus x4: DFS went to trade school and owns a handyman service (he makes bank doing it) and the jinyuan alliance is his crew of fixers. FDB is convinced DFS is a mob boss because LLH is always calling him Di 老大 (lǎo dà) when he comes around to fix LLH's rundown van. DFS gives LLH the i'm in love with u family discount but he'll never admit to it. the two of them have known each other since grade school.

bonus x5: DFS and LXY both did the same martial arts extracircular and were known rivals (affectionate) in those circles. they were constantly swapping between placing 1st and 2nd in tournaments.

bonus x5 extra bonus just for me: at one point LXY did call DFS "gege" before he grew out of it / they drifted a part. obvs they reconcillated bc LLH needed a van guy and DFS under all those scowls does care for LXY a lot.

bonus x6: LLH and JLQ absolutely know they are cousins (just bc it's hilarious for me if they do). they don't talk about it but JLQ hates him for "stealing" DFS's attention since their naptime days. he's her cousin timmy. LLH doesn't even know that he's seduced the love of her life, he's just vibing. DFS tries to explain to her that he's gay and has never been interested in women, but she doesn't believe in homosexuals exactly like in canon lmaoo

bonus x7: SGD and LXY were both in an orphanage before they got adopted by qi mushan and qin po. SGD protected LXY like an older brother, but got more bitter and jealous as LXY clearly displayed genius level academic excellence and as a by product got more attention (more care into selecting schools, more time dedicated to LXY's extracirculars, more time spent driving LXY to conferences and stuff as his research gained more traction)

can you imagine the pressure little xiangyi would've been put under to excel, and to excel bc he got this chance when all the other kids at the orphanage didn't? qi mushan and qin po weren't exacty rich, i imagine he must've felt so stressed being bombarded with scholarships and whatnot while his brother steadily closed himself off from xiangyi

nothing just imposter syndrome going off the charts when rumors started going around that a mistake in LXY's research cost someone their life. that no one should've trusted a teenager to be that smart. that some orphan kid just wanted attention and should've never been given a chance. it breaks him.

unintential pressure from qi mushan, qin po and SGD. why was he protected / saved / chosen if not to make their lives easier and to make them proud with his achivements. he's carrying his made-up expectations of their expectations and SGD's expectations

something something my dad was drunk one night and came on campus and told me i was the hope of our entire family bc i was the first to get into a good school and i could make something of myself. i was 18 at the time, same age as when LXY during his famous battle, and i just. feel some type of way. like. the man was carrying the expectations of the entire jianghu on his back. how was he not gonna be overwhelmed and break down?

bc this is a modern au i can make LXY go to therapy :) it takes a few years for him to be convinced to go (he is asian after all LOL), but he does go eventually and it helps him get the will to start again. FDB knows and actively encourages and praises LLH for taking care of himself.

LLH still carries the same self-hatred he has for his younger self bc he thinks his arrogance caused a mistake in his research and ended up causing ppl to die. he's working on it, okay, it's gonna take time

i'll end this with some crack: FDB accidentally hears DFS call LLH "xiangyi" and proceeds to give him an entire speech abt deadnames and such. it's bc he's seen LLH react to being called "xiangyi" before (come on, this guy was a prodigy and he's back at uni, some of the professors are bound to recognize him) and it's never pretty. he ends by saying "it's not like lianhua is running away from the law, he's not doing anything wrong" yes he thinks LLH is trans lmaoo. the entire time, DFS is giving him an incredious look. LXY was in fact running away from the law (or at least the press lmaoo). LLH is just standing there with an amused look on his face like "my xiaobao is a little confused, but he's got the spirit"

[teacupballerina]

PPG headcanons/plotbunnies townie and villain edition (non-crossover)

Mr. Green and Ms. Keane live in the same apartment complex. They meet after Keane's breakup in "Keen on Keane" when Green notices that Keane seems upset at the mail center. They start talking and--what a coincidence they both love kids!! A few episodes later Ms. Keane catches a nasty illness from amoeba-tainted oranges after "Divide and Conquer" and the only person she trusts to watch over her beloved class in "Substitute Creature" is Mr. Green. A few years later they get married and have halflings who help the new generation in Townsville stomach monster integration.

Robin's parents divorce not long after Super Friends and she blames herself because they are verbally abusive. They have split custody so Robin is only the Utoniums' neighbor every other week. She has an emo phase in middle school and cuts her hair short. Inspiration: the couple her parents were based on divorced IRL and she knows she's "an accident".

Following from previous, in high school Bubbles and Robin become girlfriends, Bubbles is the one who confesses first.

Buttercup taught Ace how to play bass during some never-made episode where the girls teach them to play instruments as part of a rehabilitation effort after Aspirations. ("If you want to meet girls, why don't you guys start a band?") The gang goes on to form a ska band with Snake on guitar, Ace on bass, Billy on drums, Arturo on trumpet (which he already knew how to play somehow) and Grubber on mic. They eventually split when Ace gets the call from Gorillaz.

Sedusa is Ms. Keane's elder sister. This is the reason Ms. Keane is more sympathetic to monsters and mutants. She doesn't have a lot of time between grading homework to keep up with supervillain activity, so she doesn't know half of what Sedusa has done. At some point they meet again and catch up, Sedusa goes low profile after "Aspirations" and leans more into civilian life. The girls don't find out the relation until after leaving Pokey Oaks Kindergarten, at Ms. Keane's wedding to Mr. Green.

Bubbles stays in touch with Wuzzy after "Roughin' It Up" and learns more about the forest and the Lumpkins clan from him. She even dates Wuzzy for a while and has a farmgirl phase, buying vegan leather cowboy boots that she wears into adulthood. This all helps her connect with and befriend Fuzzy himself, who learns to be more accepting through her. LOOK HOW CUTE THO:

Mojo Jojo ages very slowly due to his Chemical X mutation. His specific fixation on Blossom culminates in his focus shifting to either converting or dating her rather than destroying her (something he comes to understand as impossible). Even he doesn't know what he wants and has a lot of anguish over how he feels about her. Blossom's willing to be friends if he stops busting the city up, but she's never telling him that.

The Rowdyruff boys grow into manchildren and start "The Ruffcast", a manosphere podcast/youtube where they do nothing but play videogames, pump iron and complain about the Powerpuff Girls being too smart, too fat, and not feminine enough. Mitch Mitchelson gets roped in as the camera guy and occasional participant, which makes Buttercup dump him.

Princess Morbucks goes from wanting to be a Powerpuff Girl to just wanting to be a team leader. She recruits/buys her own team of girls to suit up and boss around, and this becomes a high-turnover job position for desperate people. Every other time the girls meet Princess, her lackeys are different. Daddy eventually disowns her not for being a villain but for being a tabloid magnet in college, forcing her to start over with nothing. One last ditch effort leads her to public records, and searching for any extended family to appeal to, she discovers her birth mother is Sara Bellum [A lesbian who used to be Morbucks' secretary--she loves Mayor because he's a harmless decent man who helped her escape that situation by hiring her]. Bellum takes her in, reluctantly, but she is totally immune to manipulation and sets her straight.

Ms. Bellum eventually runs for Mayor of Townsville and wins. Mayor Mayor retires to Pokey Oaks senior center. The girls visit him often and occasionally consult him for info about Townsville's history if needed--it's much easier for him to remember things from a long time ago, he's not so good with the day-to-day stuff. Bubbles volunteers there with Bullet, who opens Mayor's pickle jars when the nurses can't.

Harry Pitt running gag: Getting referenced as being in juvie and then prison, but it's never stated what he did. We know what he's in for, but the other characters never say.

[squidpedia]

KINDNESS (JADE) IS STILL A PAIN, ME WHEN I GET THEM

THEYRE SUCH A MESS

If i could be allowed to rant about them for a moment

Ohhhh myyy godddd this kid. See the other’s designs came to me relatively easy. Got beemed into my head, yatta yatta, as far as character design has been for them I’ve had much worse and they were pretty straightforward. But this kid has 3 pages of sketches and this is because I kept thinking and thinking for what I wanted to do for them.

The ideas got a little all over the place. I decided yeah I want to take this alternative route and see how jaded i can get away with making them. Thats ironic. Thats interesting to me if i can get something cohesive down!! i think that’d be fun to chew on!! Ok!! I also want them to be glam. I want them to like jewelry. I want them to be super pretty. Who said theyre just a chef huh. They’ll be into as many things as they want to be into!!! Alright!!! Time to put all these things into a design now!!! 2 HOURS OF PAIN LATER. I DEADASS STARTED GETTING DIZZY STARING AT THEM AT 4AM. THIS KID. LOVE THEM NOW BUT 😁🔪

They obviously still need some tweaking - the ideas are still a little all over the place but overall my favorite idea that i still want to use is has a stupid amount of hair that can be shoved into hat.

Also duh i forgot to assign a color palette lmao. Yeah ill be back another night for them - round 2

Anyways still had fun

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for stealing some shoes

I was a homeless kid. I couldn’t read at that point, and someone had donated the shoes to a homeless shelter. I needed the new shoes, so I.. I took them. But everyone started freaking out about them being missing- so I threw them off the bridge i was walking on so I wouldn’t get caught. It turned out they belonged to a super famous baseball player or something

Anyway, I got arrested the next day for stealing a different pair of shoes from a store, and I got sent to this camp. I didn’t speak to anyone, and they called me a nickname (everyone had nicknames but mine was to highlight how “stupid” I was). A little while later, a new guy showed up at camp

We all had to dig a five foot deep, five foot wide, hole once a day in blaring heat and no shade. There was barely any water. I liked to dig, so I was good at it. This new guy, as it turned out, was blamed for my shoe stealing. He was the first friend I made at camp. We actually talked to each other, and he began teaching me how to read, in exchange for me digging part of his hole.

We got told off for this, and our tent councillor started making fun of me, and told me that digging would be all I’d be ever good for because I’m stupid. I hit him around the head with a shovel and ran. It was common knowledge that it was a death sentence to run from camp; they had the only water for miles and miles.

I found shade and refuge under an old boat, with little jars of something that I called Sploosh. After a little while, my friend showed up and tried to convince me to go back to camp. He said we’d die if we stayed out here, but instead, we went towards a mountain.

I got ill from heat and dehydration partially to the top, so he had to carry me. We found water at the top, and food, and he shared it all with me, and he started singing some old lullaby.

We got out in the end, rich, and it all turned out ok, but I feel bad because I got him punished for something he did not do

AITA

[silliemop]

So how did Wukong fall into MK's hands?

Did Macaque really think that Wukong could not be stolen from him? Or did he lose him somehow?

YEAH Macaque really thought Wukong would never been stolen from him because HES ALWAYS CARRYING HIM CLOSE...

and how Wukong became MK's staff: Wukong was finally able to undo some of the curse and flee while Macaque is sleeping. Later, he runs into MK who is moping about not being able to find a weapon(i’m thinking maybe he’s too powerful for them and wave connections get messed up?!!!?) and Wukong is like “yo kid, i’m super powerful so like!! yeah”, Wukong is just trying to get the curse fully off by connecting waves with another person bc Macaque’s connection is like a chain, MK rambles about how he’s struggled with other weapons and is like “idkk if i can do it oughhg :((“, and Wukong just stands there like 😾”kid, just try it already cmon”, so finally MK stops being whiny and wave connection, he wields Wukong for a SECOND before Wukong turns immediately back into his regular form and fully free from curse and is like “FINALLLYYYYYY, okay bye kid”, MK stands there in shock bc 1. he realized he held the famous staff and 2. said staff is walking away. SO MK THEN FREAKS OUT AND IS LIKE “OMGGG UR THE STAFF FROM THE LEGENDS?!? SUN WUKONG OMG” and then becomes sad bc Wukong is still walking away but then Wukong feels bad and decides he needs a place to stay anyway so he hangs around with MK + tries to find MK another weapon bc he didn’t want to be in weapon form after ?!? possibly many years of sticking that way but yada yada Wukong agrees to become his weapon eventually

ILL CLEAN THIS UP LATERRR THIS AU IS PRETTY MESSY SO THIS MIGHT CHANGE A BIT

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Top 5 meals/food-related moments?

have a good day :)

oh ho ho ho so I see you have decided on a nuclear option. Well, do I have just the thing for you

Kayoko telling Kenji that Shiro Talks About Him in What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2, Ep. 11

Shiro has a really hard time verbally expressing love, especially about Kenji to Kenji. Which is why you, me, Kenji, everybody has to understand Food As Love is Shiro's entire shtick. In season 1, Shiro outed himself to Kayoko because she thought he might attack her and she calmed down about Shiro immediately after she found out he was a lawyer. And we see Kayoko ask Shiro about Kenji from time to time. BUT in Season 2, Kayoko sees Kenji in the supermarket and instantly recognizes him off of Shiro's description of him alone. And she treats him like a celebrity because of how much Shiro talks about Kenji. So you can imagine that I was absolutely bawling my fucking eyes out when Kayoko said this to Kenji at dinner:

"But you know, I already knew your preferences so well. When I go shopping with Kakei-san, he talks about you all the time...He says it with a smile"

Complete with flashbacks of Shiro talking about Kenji, what food he likes, why it's okay to get something a little more expensive. Kenji is a loud, proud, more femme gay man who is not able to hide his queerness the way that Shiro has. Kenji is also an incredibly patient and understanding man who knows Shiro is grappling with a lot of internalized homophobia, the weight of knowing he can't give his parents the grandchildren they want, parents who struggle with his sexuality. Kenji knows that Shiro loves him, but we know he can be hurt by it sometimes. So Kenji hearing from Kayoko how much Shiro talks about him was something that was so fucking needed. Not necessary, but needed. And I could not hold back my tears to see Shiro smiling away talking to Kayoko about his boyfriend, because he has so few people he can and will do that with.

Making "Magic", Our Dining Table (Bokura No Shoutaku), Ep. 5

gif by @bubblegeon

gif by @troubled-mind

Absolutely one of my favorite moments in the entire series is Tane appearing with this instant ramen package in his hand asking if Minoru wants to make "magic". I love it for so many reasons. I love it because Minoru has sacrificed so much in his life to help take care of Tane and because of that, because of who Minoru is, because of who his father is, because of who his mother is Tane is an extremely extremely emotionally aware kid. My sweet, sweet, beautiful baby boy can tell something is up with Yutaka after they run in to his older brother at the grocery store, and he can tell something is up with Minoru after they meet with his ex-girlfriend at the restaurant. And Tane repays all the care he is giving by these two by trying to find a solution he thinks will help make them feel better. Which is of course to make ramen fried rice.

Now. There is even more to this than Tane just picking up this meal his mother used to make a lot. Because Tane's mother died when he was two. He would have little to no memories of his mother, but Minoru would. Which means Minoru would have had to teach him this, carrying on her memories, her stories, her comfort to his baby brother. Minoru teaches Tane how to smash the ramen the same way their mother taught Minoru to do it. AND there is even more to this that is not really addressed but is something I (and I'm sure others) realized a bit later. Because I have made this meal multiple times and it is...so easy. I mean, 20 minutes rice in the rice cooker the day before, smash the noodles, I microwave them for 3 minutes, drain the water, and then five minutes later I've got a complete dish. It takes almost zero energy and it is great for my high pain days or my super low days. Minoru talks about his mother being sick, and how she really didn't let on to it. But the ramen fried rice is a good indication to me that she was hiding her exhaustion, her illness, her pain with fun, easy meals like this that require minimal effort and energy.

Amane having dinner with Ryuji's family, If It's With You (Kimi to Nara Koi Wo Shite Mite Mo), Ep. 3

gif by @jimmysea

I will never not love characters who are deeply deeply sad and hide the pain they've suffered and the melancholy they carry with them behind kindness and smiles and light. Amane brightens up every room he walks in to...well, every room that has anyone else but Ryuji in it. Ryuji is incredibly incredibly good at seeing straight through to Amane's core and calling him out on trying to hide himself and his feelings away. But here, in Ryuji's home Amane is well and truly feeling happy. He is understanding what family can look like, what family can feel like. Something he has never known because his parents worked so much he always ate alone. Amane deserves to experience these things, and I am so glad that he was able to have this moment because if and when Ryuji gets comfortable with dating Amane and brings him home again, it's good to know that Ryuji's family is kind and that they already know him, love him, and are comfortable enough to tease him immediately so Amane won't have to worry about their reaction.

Charn eating with Tinn's family, Laws of Attraction, Ep. 5

The fucking!!!!!!! GAHHH!! As much as we have all obsessed over the chemistry between Jam and Film, how hot Maya and Rose are, how unhinged Charn are Nawin are, how fucking awesome the grandmother is, we really do not talk enough about the fact that Laws of Attraction is first and foremost a tragedy. In the short time we had with her we knew Tonkhao was happy, and funny, and loved and she was just trying to help ease the burden her uncle had by going shopping for him and died as a result. That's Tinn's baby girl, he's raised her since infancy, and he lost her in such a horrific way. I reblogged something about grief the other day that talked about how grief in fiction and grief in reality are so different because grief in reality is so mundane, your world may be turning on it's axis but you still have to go grocery shopping. Stories like this one do more to bridge that gap, Tonkhao is dead, but you still have to find a lawyer, Tonkhao is dead but you still have to run your restaurant, Tonkhao is dead...Tonkhao is dead. And her memory and the love her family had for her is being tarnished in the news, this familly's grief is on full display, is questioned, is attacked. And I really loved this moment and the conversation that Charn has with Tinn immediately afterwards where Tinn talks about Tonkhao and how he wants her to be remembered, and I love this so deeply for what it shows about grief. That you can't just turn it on and off, here they are: grandma, Tinn, and Charn in a good mood, chatting away and then all of a sudden watching Charn eat and enjoy the soup just triggers a memory of Tonkhao that brings a ton of pain bubbling to the surface out of nowhere. Tonkhao haunts the narrative, even after justice has been served, she is still there with them, her little doll sitting in a chair at Tinn and Charn's wedding.

Jim shares a beer with Li Ming, Moonlight Chicken, Ep. 7

There is something about the death of a community pillar rocks the community at large, and how the tragedy and grief of losing someone that important to so many people can finally spur people in to action. Jim has been watching Li Ming grow up before his very eyes, but he's like many other parent/guardians and has spent so much of the show having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that Li Ming is growing up. Jim spends so much of his time stressing out about Li Ming, his financial situation changed dramatically probably right around the time he took Li Ming in, Jim is worried about how much Li Ming has struggled and may continue to struggle and is having a hard time not blaming himself for that. And finally we get the release of the all the stress and tension with Jim acknowledging Li Ming is stepping in to adulthood. I love everything about this scene, I love the acknowledgement, I love the apology, I love Jim teasing Li Ming about Heart, and I especially love the conversation about Jam because I think it shows Jim that Li Ming is capable of complex, nuanced, adult thoughts and feelings. He helped with the funeral, he stood up in support of Heart, he talked back against injustice, Li Ming spent so much of this show coming in to his own, and this is the moment all that work, misery, stress, anger bears fruit for the single most important relationship in Li Ming's life.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

[1000roughdrafts]

hey! if you take requests, i’m just wondering if you’d consider a sister winchester one? maybe her at 18? i love your writing so much, and i’d really love something like a hurt reader/dying reader?? something super angsty ahaha

Oh, for sure! Angst is my favorite! (as I'm sure you can tell by the word count lol) sorry it’s taken me like 3 years to get to this 😞

A/N: this was meant to post 2/28/24 because I wanted to ease into coming back with an every other week posting schedule BUT I’m just too excited and antsy for that lol also it’s set in Season 1, Episode 1

Thank you by the way!

Title: Please Wake Up

Warnings: swearing, graphic description of injury and illness, blood angst, hurt/dying reader, depiction of medical procedures, takes place in season 1 episode 1 :)

Word Count: 5.8k

Being third born after two boys, Y/N always felt like she had big shoes to fill. Despite her best efforts to impress the man, she never really formed a bond with John. Her next role model was Dean, who became more of a father to her than John ever was or could be.

Until her eleventh birthday, Dean did her hair into pigtails every day, partly because he hadn't learned to do any other hairstyle but mostly because he thought it was the cutest on her. He'd pack her and Sam's lunch with snacks he'd bought from vending machines and even pretend to take her on hunts because he knew she wanted to be exactly like him.

When she wasn't learning about monsters and guns with Dean, she spent time with Sam. He'd help her with her homework or play board and card games. They have as much in common as Y/N and Dean. Neither Sam nor Y/N got along with John, and neither remember their mothers. 

Y/N's mother was a woman John met in Nebraska three years after the boy's mom died. The affair only lasted a night, but to his surprise, he heard from her again six months later with the news that they had a baby girl on the way. John was shocked and heartbroken. He couldn't bear the thought of bringing another child into the life of hunting.

John kept his distance, adamant that Y/N would be better off without him, and when another three months of silence went by, he figured that Y/N's mother came around to see it his way. Unfortunately, her pregnancy was complicated, as was the birth, and it turned out that having Y/N is what killed her. 

When John got the call, he had half a mind to let the state take custody of little Y/N. Indeed, they would provide her with a better life than he could. John decided to meet her at least, and when he laid eyes on her perfect little face, he couldn't bring himself to abandon her. 

Y/N was barely sixteen when Sam left for college. While she was proud of him for putting himself first, it broke her heart for him to go the way he did. She missed him more and more every day, often keeping Dean up at night with her sniffling and crying. After a while, he would get into bed next to her when the tears started and sing Hey Jude while playing with her hair to help her fall asleep. That went on for another six months before she finally started to fall asleep without crying. 

For her seventeenth birthday, Dean came across a necklace he'd wanted to get for her since Sam left. From his wallet, he took out the only picture he had of the sibling trio, representing the single moment of their life where John treated them like regular kids, and using his pocket knife, he carved around their heads and bodies to match the exact size of the locket, smiling proudly at himself when it fit perfectly. 

Now at eighteen, she stands next to the Impala while Dean lugs their bags out, drops them into the trunk, and slams it shut. He heads for the driver's door but stops when he realizes Y/N hasn't opened hers yet. Eyebrows raised, he twirls a finger in the air as if to say, 'Let's get a move on.'

"Are you ever gonna teach me how to drive, Dean?" she asks. "I mean, you've got to, you know?" 

"No, I don't. Get in," Dean says. She does so with a huff. Dean checks the mirrors before backing out of their parking spot. Turning to Y/N, he says, "Besides, as long as I'm around, you don't need to," but softens his face into a smile when he looks at her. "Cause there's no way in Hell I'll ever let you drive my car." 

Y/N lets out a soft chuckle. "It doesn't have to be this car, Dean!" She rolls the window down, letting the cool breeze hit her face. "What happens if we get separated and I'm being chased by… I don't know, something that has super speed, and my only way back to you is to steal a car and -" 

"Stop. First of all, you should know that I'd never put you in that kind of danger," Dean says, disgusted by the mere thought. He lets out a long sigh. "I'll teach you," he says, looking at her gleaming smile. He tries his damnedest to see her for the adult she's becoming, but he only sees the happy baby in pull-ups he used to feed marshmallows and jello to on a motel room floor. "Just… not yet, okay?" 

She scoffs, "Most people learn to drive when they're only fifteen. I mean, you took me to freaking Vegas with a fake ID for my birthday, for fuck's sake!" 

"I said not yet, Y/N!" he says, shooting her the 'dad look' he's been perfecting since she was four. 

"Fine," she grumbles. She clasps her hands, "So I was looking through news articles, and there seem to be vamps in the next town. Should we be on that?" 

Dean clears his throat and needlessly adjusts the rear-view mirror. "Actually, kiddo, we're on something else right now." He keeps his head straight but glances at her out of the corner of his eyes. Whispering, he says, "We're gonna go get Sammy." 

Y/N's eyes widen as her head whips to look at him. "What?" 

He keeps his eyes on the road, "yeah, uh, with Dad missing... we could use the help," he says, gripping the steering wheel tighter. 

"But Sam's at college!" Y/N scoffs, "he wanted out!" 

"He abandoned us!" he shouts, shaking his head at himself when he notices her shoulders tense. Her eyes peer into her lap, where her hands lie folded. “Look Y/N/N, I just… I can't shake this awful feeling that something is wrong." He waits for a response from her, but she only nods with thin lips. She tunes him out and focuses on the wind hitting the window. "I gotta make sure they're okay," he says softly. 

Over the years, Y/N has learned to trust Dean's intuition, but right now, it just feels like he's being selfish. She opts to stay quiet, even if it makes a long drive longer.

Y/N jolts awake at the sound of the trunk slamming shut. She takes a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She doesn't see Dean next to her, so she scans her surroundings through squinted eyes, hoping for a clue about her whereabouts. She finds a gas station receipt in her lap and flips it over to see the scribbles of Dean's handwriting telling her to 'stay put or else.' She rolls her eyes, crumpling it into a ball to throw it into the backseat.

She hears the voices of two familiar men, one of whom she hasn't heard in two years. Her heart races, and she fumbles with the seat belt, trying to unhook it with shaky hands. She jumps out of the car and turns in time to see Dean leaning on the back of the Impala.

"It's a law school interview," Sam says, "and it's my whole future on a plate," he glares.

"Law school?" Dean asks with a smirk. Y/N walks over to stand next to Dean. He shoots a quick, acknowledging glance her way. Sam's eyes shift between Dean and Y/N, softening when they land on Y/N, "so we got a deal or not?" he asks flatly.

Dean says nothing but lightly nods his head. Y/N runs towards Sam, nearly knocking him over with a hug.

"Y/N/N," he smiles. Pulling her even closer to him, he wraps his arms tightly around her back and kisses the top of her head. "I missed you," he whispers.

"I missed you, too," she says, her eyes welling up with tears. Sam looks at Dean just in time to see him press his lips together with an 'I told you so' in his eyes. Sam shakes his head, squinting at Dean just before he lets go of Y/N.

"Kay, I gotta put a bag together," he sighs, "I'll be right back."

He turns to head for the door, and Y/N doesn't take her eyes off him until he disappears into the building. She blinks her eyes and turns to face Dean. He pushes himself off the back of the car and silently heads for the driver seat.

Sam and Y/N sit in the car at a gas station while Dean heads for snacks. Sam opens his door but quickly looks over his shoulder to check on Y/N. This is when he notices the box of tapes sitting next to her. Intrigued, he shifts in the chair and asks her to hand them to him. Y/N is hesitant because it's hard to say how Dean would react, and she's always hated being in the middle of their fights but does so anyway. Sam rests his tongue between his lips as he takes the box from Y/N. Stretching his legs out of the car, he rests the box in his lap to filter through them.

"Hey," Dean says from behind the Impala, his mouth wrapped around a candy bar, "either of you want breakfast?" he asks, holding a soda and a bag of chips.

Y/N waits for Sam to answer first. "No, thanks," he says, glancing Dean's way momentarily.

"I do," Y/N smiles.

"So how'd you pay for that stuff? Three of you still running credit card scams?" Sam says, going back to looking through the cassettes.

"Yeah, well, hunting ain't exactly a pro ball career," Dean says, putting the gas nozzle back into the pump.

Y/N chimes in, "Besides, all we do is apply," she shrugs, "it's not our fault they send us the cards."

"Yeah? And what names did you write on the applications this time?" he asks, swinging his legs back inside the car and closing the door behind him.

"Uh, Burt Aframian," Y/N answers. Dean gets into the seat, handing Y/N the drink and chips. "Thank you," she chirps.

"And his son Hector," Dean adds, "scored two cards out of the deal."

"Sounds about right. I swear, man. You've gotta update your cassette tape collection."

Dean frowns, nearly offended. "Why?"

"Well, for one, they're cassette tapes, and two," Sam holds one up, "Black Sabbath? Motorhead?" he says, dropping them to grab another, "Metallica?" he laughs, "It's the greatest hits of mullet rock," he says as Dean rips the Metallica tape from his hand with a glare.

"Well, house rules, Sammy." Dean pops the tape into the player with a tight smile, "driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cake-hole," he says, dropping the empty case into the box. "Isn't that right, Y/N?" he smirks into the rear-view mirror and smiles when he sees her roll her eyes.

"You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old," Sam scolds, "it's Sam, okay?"

Turning the volume up, Dean cocks his head to the side, "sorry. I can't hear you. The music's too loud," he says with a slight chuckle.

Crashing a crime scene where police are still investigating is just another Saturday with Dean for Y/N, but seeing Sam's eyes widen at the box of Dean's fake IDs calls attention to how out of the norm this life is. Dean makes wise-ass comments to the cops, as usual, and Sam stomps on Dean's foot. Dean responds by smacking Sam's head as they bicker on the way back to the car, but Y/N can't help but grin from ear to ear.

Even when her brothers are arguing, Y/N couldn't possibly be happier. Today is her first hunt with both of her brothers and the first time in far too long since the three of them had been together for any reason.

They make their way to find Amy, who they learn is the girlfriend of the victim from listening to the cops on the bridge. They stop her while she's putting up missing posters, and after lying about being distant relatives of her boyfriend, they ask if she'd be willing to answer some questions to find him.

… "It's kind of this local legend," Amy's friend says after a few minutes of chatting. Massaging her thumb with her other hand, she continues, "This one girl? She got murdered out on Centennial, like decades ago." Dean glances over at Sam and Y/N, who listen intently, "Well, supposedly, she's still out there. She hitchhikes, and whoever picks her up? Well, they disappear forever."

At a local library, Dean searches the archive page for any murders on Centennial Highway with no results. Sam shoves Dean's chair, and when it rolls back, he scoots his chair to the computer to take over, earning him a slap from Dean. After replacing 'murder' with 'suicide,' a news article pops up.

"This was 1981. Constance Welch, twenty-four years old, jumps off Sylvania Bridge, drowns in the river," Sam reads.

"Does it say why she did it?" Y/N asks, scooting her chair closer to Sam to try and read the screen.

"Yeah," Sam says.

"What?" Dean says with raised eyebrows.

"An hour before they found her, she calls 911. Apparently, her two little kids are in the bathtub. She leaves them alone for a minute, and when she comes back, they aren't breathing." Sam lets out a breath, "both die," he says in a whisper.

The air grows thick around them, and Y/N frowns. "That's terrible," she says, shaking her head.

"'Our babies were gone,'" Sam reads, "'and Constance just couldn't bear it,' said husband Joseph Welch."

"Hmm," Dean points to the picture on the screen, "that bridge look familiar to you?"

They hit the bridge at nightfall. Crickets sing to water drumming against the rocks as it rushes under their feet. The clouds hang low in the sky, giving the air around them a haze.

"So," Dean says, peering over the bridge at the water, "this is where Constance took the swan dive," he says, leaning against the rail next to Y/N. 

"So you think Dad would have been here?" Sam asks in disbelief, looking over at Dean. 

"Well, he's chasing the same story, and we're chasing him," Dean shrugs, turning to walk down the bridge. 

Sam turns to follow. "Okay, so now what?" he says, forcing a breath through his nose. Y/N walks right next to him, still scared to let him out of her sight. 

"Now we keep digging until we find him. Might take a while," Dean grumbles. 

Sam stops walking, "Dean," he says, raising his hands before dropping them. "I told you. I've gotta be back by Monday." 

"Monday," Dean says, pivoting to make grueling eye contact with Sam, but only turns his body enough that he's still facing the bridge's railing. "Right," he says, shaking a finger, "the interview." The bridge creaks under him as he turns the rest of the way. 

"Yeah," Sam nods. 

"Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you?" Dean says, shifting his weight between his feet. "You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl?" Dean asks, the animosity growing with each word. 

Sam shrugs, "maybe. Why not?" 

Dean's voice roughens, "Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know the things you've done?" 

Sam takes a few threatening steps toward Dean, "No, and she's not ever going to know," he scowls. 

"Well, that's healthy," Dean sneers. "You can pretend all you want, Sammy, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face up to who you really are," he says, turning around to continue walking. 

Sam huffs, "Who's that?" 

"You're one of us," Dean shrugs, a hand gesturing towards Y/N. 

"Hey! Leave me out of this," Y/N grumbles from ahead. 

"No," Sam says, speed walking towards Dean, "I'm not like you," he says, turning around as he stops in front of Dean. "This is not going to be my life."

Dean keeps his jaw tight. "Well, you have a responsibility to..." 

Y/N feels the tension rising and tries to plead with them to stop arguing, but they ignore her. "Guys!" she shouts again. 

"To Dad? And his crusade?" Sam scoffs. "If it weren't for pictures, I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like! And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her," he shakes his head, "Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back." 

Dean grips Sam's shirt and swings him around and against the bridge's railing with a clunk at Sam's weight against it. 

Y/N flips around and runs to their side, "Dean, what are you doing? Are you crazy?" She panics. But Dean continues to ignore her as he glares at Sam. 

After a long, breathless pause, Y/N shouts again, "Dean!" 

The misty air is still between them, and even the wind seems too frightened to move. It's as if the world is put on pause.

Dean's eyebrows raise, and he keeps a firm grip on Sam's shirt. Under his breath, he says, "Don't talk about her like that." 

He throws Sam's jacket from his hands and takes a few stabilizing steps backward in one movement. Y/N runs to check on Sam, who shakes her off with an "I'm fine" that sounds muffled compared to the pounding of her heart. A few tears escape her when she looks over at Dean walking away from them, but she doesn't realize she's crying until the taste of salt hits her lips. 

Her eyes return to Sam, shaking her head in disgust that Dean would treat him like that. She knew it had been rough for Dean since Sam left for college, but hell, it's been hard on her, too, and she's not throwing anyone against the side of a bridge!

Dean halts, “Sam. Y/N!” he calls. Y/N turns with a full-body glare, but her eyes widen when she sees a woman in a long, white dress standing on the bridge's railing. The woman looks over at them, and Y/N can see the resemblance to the picture of Constance. The woman's hair and dress sway in the wind, and she keeps her eyes on them as she allows herself to drop from the ledge. 

With a grunt, Sam rushes to the railing to look over it for her, Dean and Y/N not far behind him. 

"Where'd she go?" Dean barks. 

Breathless, Sam pushes out an "I don't know." 

The roar of the Impala's engine turning on startles them, their bodies whipping around just in time to see the headlights flick on. 

"What the-," Dean says. 

"Who's driving your car?" Y/N asks. 

Without taking his eyes off of the car, Dean pulls his keys from his pocket and jingles them, stealing Sam and Y/N's attention to them in unison. The engine revs, drawing back their wide eyes to the Impala. The tires squeal as the car begins to speed towards them. 

"Y/N, go! Go!" Dean says with a hand on each of his siblings, spinning them around to run in the opposite direction. Dean presses his hand firmly on Y/N's back as they run, keeping himself between her and the car. They run as fast as they can until Dean can feel the Impala's breath on his ankles, and he guides them towards the bridge's railing. 

Y/N's heart feels like a brick in her chest, weighing her down at the thought of jumping over. "I can't," she says in a breath, and all in a split second, she feels like her feet are cemented into the bridge's planks as Sam jumps over. "No!" she screams as Dean grips onto her arm, pulling them both over the bridge. 

Sam hangs from the ledge of the bridge, shouting for Y/N as her screams are washed out with a big splash. "Y/N!" he calls again from the back of his throat, climbing up the bridge to get on his knees. He looks over the bridge, scanning for Y/N and Dean, calling out when he sees his brother, "Dean! You alright?" 

"I'm super," Dean grumbles with an outstretched thumbs up. Lying on his back, half submerged in the muddy water. 

"I can't see Y/N! Where's Y/N?" Sam panics, and when the words hit Dean's ears, he springs to his feet in a second. He whirls around in a circle as he searches for her. 

"Y/N!" Dean shouts, wiping mud from his face. He paces around, "Y/N, where are you?" he yells, half-expecting her to pop out from behind a bush to scare him. 

The world spins around him for a moment, utterly void of sound aside from a ringing in his ears as Dean tries to comprehend what is happening. He closes his eyes tight, shaking his head to clear away the fog that covers him. They open onto the water, catching the moon's glimmer reflecting off something. He runs towards it, hopping from rock to rock until he finds Y/N's broken locket stuck in algae. Dean picks it up with shaky hands, recalling how her face lit up when he first gave it to her. She'd be devastated to see its state now. Fear spills down him in an icy chill.

His head swivels around in search of her. Tears, that he refuses to let fall, poke at his eyes when he sees her lying face down in the water, a bloody rock next to her.

“Y/N!” He shouts, rushing to her. He kneels to pull her out of the water by her shoulder, turning her over so that her back rests against his knee. "Y/N!" he yells again, and when she doesn't respond, he grabs her by the waist and hoists her over his shoulder. He grunts, shifting his weight before jogging for the shore. "Sam! I got her!" 

"Dean! Is she okay?" He calls out as he sprints down the side of the hill to catch up to them. The brothers reach the shore simultaneously, and Dean drops to his knees to gently set Y/N on the ground in front of him, Sam following suit. 

"Come on, be okay, be okay, be okay, be okay," Dean pleads softly, placing two fingers on her neck. His heart is beating so hard that he can't tell if it's her pulse he's feeling or his own. "Sam, I can't feel anything," he says. Dropping an ear to her mouth, he adds, "And I don't think she's breathing." 

"Call 911," Sam demands, ripping his jacket off to tie around Y/N's bleeding head wound. He quickly inspects the rest of her body for any bleeding before placing a hand on her chest. Looking up at Dean, who stands frozen, Sam puts his free hand on Dean's shoulder, "now, Dean!" he shouts, shoving him. 

Sam tilts Y/N's head back, checking again for a pulse, a breath, a twitch, a shudder, anything that meant he wouldn't have to perform CPR on his baby sister. He places his hands on her chest, one over the other, pausing in case her heart miraculously started again, but all he feels under his palms is the stillness of Y/N's wet and cold chest. 

Sam begins chest compressions, and the tears he'd been holding back rush out uncontrollably when he feels her ribs break under his palms. It makes him want to pull away, but he forces himself to continue. Dean watches in wide-eyed horror as he gives the 911 operator their location when asked, keeping his free hand pressed against his forehead. 

"Anything?" he shakily shouts at Sam after what feels like hours. Sam ignores him, counting out loud until he hits thirty again. He stops compressions to blow a shuddering breath into Y/N's mouth, watching her chest rise and fall before delivering another. "Hello! Is anybody on the way? My sister is dying here!" Dean shouts into the phone, but all that meets his ears is static. 

"Dean," Sam says with a heavy breath, beginning compressions again. "You gotta take over," he says between breaths. 

Without question, Dean drops his phone to the ground as he falls to his knees next to her, "come on, Y/N," he pleads, ignoring the burning in his knees as he places his hands together on top of Sam's. Sam leaves his hands under Dean's for just one compression before pulling away. 

"Okay, that's ten. You've got twenty more before breaths," Sam says before they count out loud together with every push into Y/N's chest. 

Dean is growing tired by his third round of compressions, but the sirens in the distance electrify him, giving him the energy he needs to continue. 

His face scrunches up as he musters the emotional and physical strength to keep going. Sam hurries to his feet, "don't stop, Dean, you're doing great!" he says with a palm at him. 

"Don't stop," Dean repeats mindlessly, "don't stop." 

Sprinting towards the paramedics, Sam waves his arms, shouting, "Down here! We're down here!" before he knows it, a group of professionals sprint down the hill, the gurney in tow. One takes a story from Sam as one tries to pull Dean away so the other two can take over caring for Y/N. 

"No, I can't stop!" he cries, which grabs Sam's attention, "don't stop," he nearly whispers, hands pumping into Y/N's chest. 

Sam rushes over and lowers himself to Dean's level. "Dean, let go. It's okay, they'll take it from here," he says, grabbing onto Dean's hands to pull him off of Y/N. They watch the paramedics in shock as they cut the shirt, bra, and pants off of Y/N, inspecting her skin. The first responders put what look like stickers with wires attached to them onto her chest and pull out the AED, telling everyone to stand clear before delivering a shock with a beep. Then, there was a pause and the silence that follows is deafening. Nothing. They check for a pulse and call clear again, shocking her. Then, nothing. Again. 

In the hospital's hallway, Dean tries to tune out the surround sound of constant beeping. His elbows rest on his scraped and bloody knees with his head held in his hands. He rocks back and forth, battling with himself. He sheds tears both out of fear for his sister's well-being and of guilt that he did the very thing he promised her he wouldn't: put her in danger.

The clacking of Sam's shoes pulls Dean from his homemade mental Hell. Dean lifts his head, quickly wiping his eyes before grabbing the cafeteria coffee. Sam's familiar smell of motel soap and deodorant washes away the torturous smell of hand sanitizer.

"Thanks," Dean mutters, taking a sip of the coffee before placing it next to him on the cold tile floor. 

Sam's eyes are red and puffy. Dean struggles to comprehend how Sam doesn't even try to hide the tears coming down. He often admires his brothers ability to wear his heart on his sleeve, though he'd never admit it. He wonders who he's being 'strong' for in this moment because it's certainly not himself.

Clearing his throat, Sam pulls his pants up slightly at the thighs before sitting on the bench next to Dean. He glances up at the ceiling momentarily, waiting for the announcement to end before asking, "Any news yet?"

Dean shakes his head. "No," he says in a raspy voice, forcing his eyes to look up and down the hall. "Excuse me," he says, standing to interrupt a nurse before she can enter a different room. "Would you mind helping us find whoever we need to talk to for an update on room 221?" he asks, gesturing to the door he hasn't been able to even look at since arriving.

Her eyes flutter to Sam, then the door, and back to Dean before she somberly nods. "Of course," she says, setting her pen back onto the clipboard as she turns to head in the direction she came.

Dean wants to return to his seat, but his body feels like an anchor. He sucks in a sharp breath. His shoulders tighten into his neck and with weak arms his hands fall to his hips. He hangs his head, clenching his teeth and pulling his face to suppress the tears. Sam jumps up to Stand with Dean, placing a hand tightly on his shoulder.

"She'll be alright," Sam says, not fully believing himself, "she's a Winchester; she has to be." 

Dean quickly straightens himself out because damn it, he's the one that's supposed to be taking care of his younger siblings - not the other way around.

"Sam and Dean Winchester?" a deep voice echoes the hall and they whirl around to greet the doctor. Dean quickly slaps the tears from his face. "I'm Dr. Ferguson," he says, holding his arm up to shake hands with Sam, then Dean. "Let's go somewhere more private to talk."

"We're good here," Dean spits. 

"Very well," the doctor sighs, looking down the hall behind him. He shuffles them closer to the wall and out of the traffic flow. "Well, while we were able to restart her heart, I'm afraid your sister has sustained a substantial injury to the head," he says, "the trauma caused the tissue around her brain to swell quite rapidly, and well, we have her on a ventilator, but," he lets out a breath, "we haven't seen as much progress as we were hoping for. She's technically in a coma right now, but we hope to see her come out of it in the coming weeks." 

"Weeks?" Dean bellows.

"Yes, I'm afraid that's standard recovery time for an injury of this magnitude. Although, we'd be having an entirely different conversation if not for your quick thinking in the field," he says with a tight-lipped smile, eyes jumping from Dean's to Sam's, "it's a long road to recovery, but this is a good start." 

"And what happens if she doesn't wake up?" Sam asks. 

"We will do everything in our power to ensure that doesn't happen," the doctor nods. 

"Thanks, doc," Sam croaks. "Can - can we see her?" he stutters. 

"Of course," he says, pushing the door open with his fingertips, "go on in," he says.  

Sam immediately notices Dean's hesitancy when they exchange a glance, so he nods before taking a few steps into the room. He covers his mouth to stifle a sob when he sees his little sister with a tube down her throat and one in her nose. When he's close enough, he reaches for her hand and sits in the chair beside her, startled by the sound of the door shutting. Dean slowly enters the room, but keeps his distance.

Dean feels like the air is void of oxygen and tells himself to pull it together enough to stand by her bed. "Hey kiddo," Dean says to Y/N with a shaky breath. "God, please be okay," he says, forcing a smile as he grips onto her hand.

The two sit with Y/N for days, only leaving for bathroom trips and snack runs, but when one goes, the other stays, and when one is napping, the other is awake. Dean has grown slightly more self-composed but is still anxious as they stay by her side, even when the nurses come to deliver medications, chart vitals, or empty her catheter.

"Hey, Dean," Sam says, clearing his throat. 

"Yeah," he replies, keeping his eyes on Y/N. 

Sam looks down into his hands, "about my interview-" 

"Wait, what?" Dean says, cutting him off, "you're still gonna leave after all this?" he shouts through a clenched jaw. The chair scoots back in a screech as he quickly brings himself to his feet, "you don't wanna be here when she wakes up?" he asks, aggressively gesturing at Y/N. 

"Dean, we don't even know if she'll wake up," Sam quivers. 

"Man, you are a piece of work," Dean shouts, shaking his head. 

"If you would've let me finish," Sam growls with narrow eyes, "I was going to say that I called earlier… to reschedule it," he sighs, looking back at Y/N, "they were very understanding of the situation." 

"Oh," Dean says, turning on his heels to face away from Sam. He swipes a hand down his face, shaking his head when his eyes open to the white walls of the hospital's room. "Look, man, I'm sorry," he says, palms open and facing Sam. "This just has me on edge." 

Taking a few steps towards him, Sam holds back the urge to get nasty with Dean, telling him he's not the only one feeling 'on edge' about their sister's condition. Instead, he raises his palms and softens his face, "Me too. Believe me." 

By Thursday, Y/N had graduated from a ventilator to an oxygen mask. Though still needing the feeding tube, she's shown glimpses here and there of the Y/N they know and love, but overall, she struggles to remain conscious. The doctors are calling it a 'Minimally Conscious State' and "completely normal with this type of recovery."

On Saturday, Sam heads out for food from a local restaurant at Dean's request - something about them having good pies - but Sam has a sneaking suspicion that Dean needs some time alone with Y/N, and Sam could use the fresh air anyway.

Sitting in the chair beside her bed, Dean holds one of Y/N's hands in both of his, bringing it up to his lips and kissing the back of her hand. "I'm so sorry I failed you, Y/N," he cries. "I should have been protecting you," he whispers, letting the tears fall freely now, "but instead of doing that, I got you into this mess."

Looking up at Y/N's face, he swears he sees a tear slip down her cheek. Despite being convinced he's imagining it, he reflexively draws his hand to wipe her tear away, gasping when it comes back wet. His heart races as he gently stands to get beside her in the bed. "Shh," he coos, wrapping his arm around her.

His eyes fall shut, and he's transported back in time to the almost seven-month period where she would only fall asleep if Dean were right there in bed next to her. Through tears and voice cracks, he sings Hey Jude in a whisper, occasionally reaching over to wipe her tears away.

"I love you so much," he whispers. "I don't know how to live without you," he says, his tears turning into sobs. "Please wake up," he cries, arm wrapped tightly around her, "I promise I'll teach you how to drive if you just please wake up."

~~~~ If you liked my story, please remember to heart, comment or reblog. Or if you'd like, you can add yourself to a tag list here if you wish :) Thank you for reading!! :)

Everything Tags <3

@wayardblueshun @81mysteriouslyme @drakelover78 @soab1967 @shutupandfeedmethings @pollywantacracker666 @sonnierae26 @obsessed5sosfreak @tlovescoffee @noodledoodlebug @hobby27 @cluz1babe @emptycanvasposts @suckmyapplejacks @signrunsavestheday @flamencodiva @roseblue373

Dean <;3 @akshi8278 @squirrelnotsam @laxe-from-outer-space @ellewritesfix05 @cluz1babe @lyarr24 @mrspeacem1nusone @idksupernaturl @fandom-princess-forevermore @stoneyggirl @chaospossum @nachofriess

Sam <3 (not including the tags already above :) ) @fangirlxwritesx67 @immafangirlmess @sizekinkshawty

[zer0brainc3lls]

My opinions on tmr ships :D

I have seen a few people do this and I thought why not :) keep in mind these are my opinions and I don’t care who you ship (as long as it’s not like a pro ship or something yucky) the whole point of a fandom is to have fun!! :> any ship names i dont know ill just say “character x character”

Newtmas: take one look at my page and yk how I feel about this one 😭 idk I just love it so much ESPECIALLY IN THE FIRST BOOK OH MY GOD. Book one newtmas my beloved ☹️🫶 I just love them so so much 😔 bi Thomas is canon in my heart

Minewt: I prefer them platonically but I see it!! I really like this one, I don’t read fics of it often buts it’s super enjoyable and I understand the hype 100% like childhood best friends who were separated then when they finally find each other again an hour later the other dies?! Tragic. ☹️

Thominho: I kinda like this one, it’s tolerable I don’t mind it and I’ll read funny inncorrect quotes about them but that’s about it, i kind of get this one but it’s not my favourite :( still like it though :D

Thomas x gally: uhhh.. depends on if it’s movies or books honestly- movies I get it!! Enemy’s to lovers is one of my favourite tropes after all but books? Nah sorry I just can’t 😭

Brenda x Teresa: in canon NO. In fanon? (Like fics and whatnot) YES. GIVE ME MY LESBIANS GODDAMNIT I WILL COMMIT CRIMES.

Thomas x Brenda: second favourite ship, I love them so so much they are so near and dear to me oh my fuck 😔 THE BOOKS HAD ME GIGGLING THE WHOLE TIME I WISH THEY WERE ENDGAME IN THE MOVIES. WHY.

Thomas x Teresa: …. In the movies I get why people like it, but in the books? It just kinda grosses me out because Thomas saw Teresa as a sister before the swipe, then Teresa implied they could’ve been lovers and it was a whole thing and it’s just.. why? It’s kind of forced in my opinion (don’t get me wrong I’m not saying Thomas DIDNT love her. He did I’m not saying that at all. He did love her but still!!!)

Frypan x Brenda: OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS SO OSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH. In the movies I prefer them over Thomas x Brenda through and through!!

Brenda x gally: I see them as chaotic besties ngl but the scene with the bus and they were talking about the immunes like they were THEIR kids and the “I like her.” Scene 🫡 I like this ship literally only because of those scenes

Brenda x Minho: this is one of my friends fav ships and I’m slowly being pulled into it. Send help. Immediately. IM BEING SUCKED INTO IT GODDAMNIT

[harriertail]

Omen of the Stars reread + a lot of thoughts

The Fourth Apprentice

The cover is actually the best cover in the series are you kidding me? Its so pretty. The yellow blue and dark green r so nice

Why does the TC/ShC stream drying up affect the lake water level and not the RiverClan... river? Does the Moonpool stream still run???

Every mention of Squirrel and Leaf sitting together "so close they were like kits just out the nursery" is an actual STAB in the chest. They go thru so much :((((

A flash flood seems to take out the beaver den (or its just poorly worded?) so what was the point of the journey...

Dovewings personality is snappier than i think pple give her credit for, I kinda enjoy her

Tigerheart literally does not interact with her on the mission lmao what is he on about 'I'm gonna miss you'

Jayfeather missing Lionblaze is act so painful :(

Fading Echoes

So much of the opening of these books is just recounting previous events and character arcs omg this goes for all WC books.

Hollyleaf :(

Blossompaw's siblings joke that she moons over Toadstep. Idk why fucking Thornclaw becomes her mate later on then :/

What is Tigerheart doing on the border ? he doesnt explain it? I actually thought that he was already meeting Dovepaw secretly but then hes not like what is he doing...?

Dovepaw being worried for the other Clans + her thoughts about having this power should put her above the Clan rules could be so interesting. the series back-and-forths over Lionblaze (we must protect ThunderClan) and Dovepaw (we must protect all the Clans) even though Lionblaze gets annoyed at Dovepaw for using her powers to look after ThunderClan???

The whole "being obsessed with Prophecy and what it means" is probs a part of Jay's character (as he baso became a med cat to fulfil his destiny) but it also feels like a gross misunderstanding of what a Prophecy is. All the "the dark forest is rising. This might be what the Three is meant for" is like putting the horse before the cart- a prophecy is meant to describe a situation and hint at the character/means to solve it; but PO3/OoTS has the characters/means to solve, but no conflict :/ its a bit backwards.

I like the mentions of Firestar + Sandstorm going on night hunts etc.

Blossompaw/fall's a cunt lol. Shes kinda fun but shes not nice at all especially to Ivypool.

I love Littlecloud. I love when the med cats share ideas and discuss things 10/10 makes my day everytime

The pacing is actually... not good. Ive defo always been on thr camp of "too many povs and too few chapters ruins the book" but wow FE really shows it.

So much of Doves characterisation so far is about agency and not wanting to be special and have Firestar/Lion/Jay talk to her. I wish this was not forgotten about in later Super Editions.... kittypetdovewing2k24

this battle is crazy tho. I wish more of the DF plot was about stirring up trouble between the Clans and specific troublemakers in each Clan rather than the later nebelous 'dark warriors invade the forest' battle. Ill get to that one day

Night Whispers

Picking right back up in the battle...

and again just recounting the last books events. hollyleaf death/disappearance explanation count: 3

Kinda love how many times shes mentioned. From Lionblaze avoiding the tunnel she ran into to Jayfeather finding the fur that Leafpool hid.... cute

Okay i actuallt love ShadowClan discussing the battle + tactics + training and then the chapter immediately after the TC camp doesnt mention it at all and Ivypaw is like "why arent we discussing the battle? Just because we won doesn't mean we will again!!" interesting character moments + a nice look at differences between the Clans

Ivypaw and dovepaw fighting over tigerheart????? they fight so much but then always wanna be together like jfc.

Dove n tiger have negative chemistry like it just jumps right into "no boundaries can keep us apart". I get shes using him as an escape from TC/prophecy bullshit but like.... rlly? I wish it was just like expanded on. Tbh i wish every chapter had like just two extra pages to actually delve into things a bit better.

Lmaoo lionblaze cinderheart leafpool dovepaw patrol this is so fucking funny brambleclaw u get one point for this

Tigerheart break up scene count: 1

Flametail POV. Interesting but... why? Bad things r coming we know... what was his point narratively? It was cool tho. I liked seeing ShadowClan.

Every single book Dovepaw has a character die/get really hurt and is haunted by their screams. Rippletail, Longtail/Briarpaw, and later on its Antpelt... jesus christ girlie has it SO rough

The ivypaw "nernernenerner im better than you im being trained by tigerstar" to "oh fuck hes actually a bad guy i cant believe the terroristic maniac lied to me" is so rapid shes so funny/stupid

The imagery in this book is kinda crazy. Fire and ice cats and drowning in darkness visions. Very fun.

Sign of the Moon

So the med cats are divided and split up and StarClan does not trust any other Clan cat- but when in StarClan, Barkface and Flametail are hanging out? Crookedstar offers to share prey with Yellowfang? But StarClan is super fractured rn each Clan must stand alone. Okay

Antpelt nooooooooooooooo

Idk what the mountain prophecy actually means like. Firestar was always going to lead ThunderClan into battle.... what is he gonna do that's different...

Rock: i was the first Stoneteller Five chapters later Half Moon becomes the first Stoneteller. This is egregious

Swoop death. that's the fourth death Dovewing is going to be haunted by

The Forgotten Warrior

all the hints to Hollyleaf still... its a nice throughline... the yarrow and tansy and Molepaw/Cherrypaw scenes... shes my fave. sometimes the foreshadowing feels like it could be just Jayfeather coping that she's 'defo still out there' but TFW ties it up well. especially when you get surprised by Sol coming back and its like 'oh they were convinced she was defo still out there :(' and then she's actually back!!!

also the title??? is banger. the Forgotten Warrior, with Leafpool on the OG cover??? wow. espec as its constantly brought up that Leafpool was the medicine cat but no one sees her as a warrior really.... TBH all these titles are just as good as the TPB titles in terms of meaning/how good they are.

Another fox? okay.

SOL.... okay

tunnel adventures part 3.

All this like.. Bumeblstripeing is just kinda naff. Dovewing is clearly tryna force herself into liking him. But then she's also going on about how Tigerheart used her??? NGL i do really wanna see like.. why she changes her mind in AVOS

Brambleclaw lying to protect Hollyleaf is actually like. GOD that hurts. especially when you consider Bramblestar's Storm and how much he misses her. thats his favourite

the cinderheart shit is so stupid my jaw is actually on the floor. what you do mean you've been in love with a cat you shouldn't have. is cinderheart having cinderpelt's feelings for fucking firestar and that's why she doesn't want to be with lionblaze. also they have negative chemistry they literally are CONSTANTLY having issues.

oh my god i swear the 'Sol is secretly working with WindClan' was brought up chapters ago and we are only now dealing with it okay. anyway hollyleaf moment.

its kinda weird we dont get any like. scenes of the siblings just being siblings... they only discuss prophecy/plot shit and dont get to be siblings again - which i guess fits with the whole 'everything has changed' but god it'd be so god to just have them doing like. normal cat stuff - especially when so much of this series has had Jayfeather missing her and Lionblaze

i love Dustpelt and Brackenfur building shit... its so good

Dawnpelt murder accusations. okay.... i can't wait for Flametail to suddenly be argumentative again next book

the battle we've been building to all book is one chapter. cool. Sol runs off again and it's the end of the book. cool.

[worm-on-my-way]

a dc x nicktoons unite crossover is so funny to me

the JL get wrapped up in some dimensional portal junk and find themselves in a weird building with a bunch of computers, lab stuff and crabs (?????)

there is a random kid (i'm thinking like late teens) sitting in a chair next to the screens, he just turns towards them and they are expecting shock or maybe aggression but instead

"oh hey, what are you doing here?"

they explain themselves and he is just like

"nah you're fine i invented inter-dimensional travel when i was like 10 lemme just find your home dimension and ill send you back"

not 5 minutes later and they have a way home but this place is pretty interesting and whats this about a group of super heroes that save the multiverse????

jimmy isn't quite sure how these weirdly dressed supers managed to travel when they clearly don't know what they are doing but the others r gonna get a kick out of this

[mrgladstonegander]

MORE BOOTLEG DUCKTALES ‼️team science (oops! all identity issues!) edition

team magic here

archimedes gallas / gyro = more like other versions where he's nice but this man is carrying SOOOO much guilt. insane amounts. his entire character is focused on how much his self-worth is down the drain (also hes being haunted by the narrative (phoebe/della)). also he's half japanese. based off the onagadori

cherry pekin / huey = has a similar problem to archie where she has overwhelming feelings of needing to seem mature, and responsible, where she overworks herself

sydney eggtooth-diazi / fenton = REALLYY wants to seem like a Professional Normal Dude. repressing EVERY urge to wear silly ties. sees morality in a black and white sort of way and it WILL cause problems later. he puts archie on a pedestal and its super obvious and it just makes archie more mentally ill

salem milly / gandra = planning to really lean into how she joined fowl bc they were the only ones that supported her. mainly the contrast with how the Main Family supports each other with unconditional love, the love she has is purely conditional, and she's constantly convincing herself that she Wants to do bad things, and that she doesnt care about these people, because despite how she says she only listens to herself, shes stuck to FOUL, and thats her 'family'. based on mille fleur d'uccle

frankie loon / fethry = IT IS PART OF TEAM SCIENCE‼️ after getting back to mainland after being alone at sea for four years, he joins as a janitor. pulling back the marine biology in the sense that he is interested in EVERYTHING. man of a 10000 copies. winning the idgaf war (DOES care abt how his family is disinterested in his interests but its FINE because HE cares its fine its fine. he's accepted he'll be alone). its presence WILL send everyone else into a shock about their identity. hopefully it'll happen vice versa as well

widget-time-tech / widget / gizmoduck / lil bulb = theyre being consolidated and also theyre lil bug guys now!! i dont care if you hate bugs theyre cute as shit!! widget is Usually in the little ball, but also helps control the suit with sydney. it still has anger issues so it'll make things harder for sydney rather than just silly incompetence. and it was DEFINENTLY made to be a superhero ai. no other purposes. at all. certainly not messing with the fabric of time. just helping the ppl of the town :)

mad clucktor / mad clucktor = iwhile he IS a villain he isn't necessarily a bad person. hes a physical manifestation of the part of archie that WANTS to be alive! that KNOWS his worth! he doesn't have to work himself to death to make up for his guilt!

and he's the reason why toby is even active. why he's back

toby / boyd = cannot be normal abt this sorry

he was made to be archie's idea of the "perfect boy". the perfect kid. what he wants to be what he WISHED he would be growing up. hes happy, he can do everything right, he's intelligent, he's strong. his existence is free of human doubt and anxiety, he's the perfect boy and if he was in archie's place everything would be fine

but it isnt! he gets used! toby's used for evil through no fault of his own. but he becomes a symbol of things that are "wrong" about archie. toby didn't resent anyone or be upset with how people treat him. toby doesnt have his own needs. he can do whatever people need him to do. toby was his symbol of hope but becomes a symbol of how everything with him goes wrong. he becomes an unachievable goal that archie is trying to be to make up for the existence of toby!!

and so the only way for either of them to be "truly human" is when archie learns that he doesn't have to be perfect. he never had to be. even if he's made mistakes, he still deserves to LIVE!! he doesn't have to hide his pain and discomfort for anyone!! and its okay for toby to be toby!

[redspacegirl]

UPP OC BACKSTORY AND STUFF TIME!!! (plus occasional doodles)

plenty of this is spitballing, so i haven't fully cemented anything. it's all a bunch of yapping, so I'll put a tldr at the bottom to explain it in simpler terms lol. anyways,,,

Oakley moved to Deadwood when she was about 12. Right before the beginning of her 7th grade year. I feel like she definitely went down the fnaf to ghost hunting pipeline. I don't even know if that's a real pipeline, but it was for me. So she basically knew all the terms and stuff.

from what i can tell, upp was just a bunch of kids that liked ghost hunting, though ive seen the idea of all the kids in upp having ghost themed powers, kinda like wiwis but not as,,, wiwi. ill talk more about it later.

Despite knowing a bit about ghost hunting, Oakley would never have done it before. She lived in a highly populated area, not too far from the coast and one of Prime's big cities (I'm thinking near new haven, but NH might not be on the coast). There weren't any super old buildings in bike-riding distance for Oakley to explore. Plus one big thing with ghost hunting is that you dont! go! alone! (i'm really really tempted to make a post on how will maybe did this and it lead to him falling off a cliff. idk). Anyways, she's very skeptical of the actual existence of ghosts. This is one of the times I'm pulling out of my own life for that. If you've ever watched Buzzfeed Unsolved, she's Shane. She does think ghost hunting is very cool, however. (it makes sense to me, as a person who is a skeptic irl)

As I said earlier, she moved right before the beginning of 7th grade. She moved with her mom to live with her nana. There's a couple reasons for this. 1) Ol' nana silvia was up there in age, her mom wanted to keep an eye on her an all that. 2) If you can imagine, rent prices right outside of New Haven are expensive as fuck. And nothing beats the 2 acre backyard that Oakley's mother, Mae, grew up with. Like,,, sure the place was a little freaky, but that's most old places anyways.

So they move. Oakley is lowkey highkey pissed about the move. She understands, mostly, but she *really* doesn't want to move, obviously. Aside from the fact that she'd be leaving her friends behind, she's been on plenty of trips to Deadwood. That place is freaky. Mae convinces her that it's not really that bad, the house is old, it just needs some renovating.

obviously thats not the case. oakley continues being pretty much oblivious to the ghosts, blaming it on some weird noises or something until she finally comes face to face with one.

for my ideas on the whole ghost sight stuff. I like the idea that being able to see ghosts, even a little bit, is somewhat common in Deadwood. an idea i thought was funny is that Oakley could just,,, hear the ghosts *really* well. hence why she can be such a skeptic while everyone else is like "WHAT THE FUCK IS THTATTTTTT". otherwise, her being a ghost beacon would be really funny. like she walks in a room and the ghosts in said room are able to interact with people/objects or talk more. finally, she could just have normal sight idk.

Around the current point in PD, she's just graduated high school. I think she ended up staying in town for one reason or another. I have a few ideas. I think by the time she graduated, she still didn't fully know what she wanted to do, hence why she stayed home. She's currently 19 ish, taking college courses online while she keeps and eye on her mother and the nearby ghosts. She probably still hangs around the upp who stayed around. Probably will come up with more stuff in the future.

OTHER STUFF: -She skateboards, though Deadwood is a lot of gravel roads, so it's kind of difficult -draws a bunch. if you didn't see my other post about her, she draws on her pants and whatnot. -she paints her nails on occasion before forgetting about them and letting them chip before she repaints them months later -she was that kid that always said "im leaving this town right after i graduate." (me core) -indecisive as hell -can be pretty sarcastic, to the point it gets annoying sometimes. she tones it down as she gets older.

TLDR: Girl with ghost sight moves to live with her grandma in 7th grade, realizes she has some sort of ghost sight, shenanigans ensue.