#ill be on in a bit i just need 2 die first

[blu3-ja3]

Did I plan to write a feral/murderous O'Connor and how she nearly breaks completely... No! Not at all. But the idea of watching my most stable character slowly breaking is interesting to me so enjoy! This will in first person pov not the usual third person limited that I tend to rock. Enjoy!

!TRIGGER WARNING! Graphic Depictions of Torture and Murder, Psychological Break, Guns, Forceful Drug Use, Sleep Deprivation, Starvation, Sexual Harassment, Severe Disassociation

I'm telling y'all this dark. I don't know what's wormed it's way into my brain but it's not leaving till I have this out. Should I probably not post this? Yes! Am I going to anyways also yes!

🕊️!DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!🕊️

Day 1: It's to be a simple week-long mission, my team and I are going into Urzikstan to render aid to civilians. Laswell made it abundantly clear this was just to help where we could, if there's combat we are not to interfere. Farah assured Laswell nothing has occurred and that this is purely to assist with the aftermath. So none of the other 141 came with me. I was a little worried for them as they're being sent on a few low intensity missions also, but I've always enjoyed working with civilians so I took the mission and calmed myself. I'm currently sitting in the large red cross tent updating Price and Laswell. Today was mostly for setting up and preparing nothing too intense.

Day 2: It's been busy, there's plenty of work for me and my team to do. Everything from simple injuries like scratches and to complex burns and stitches. We're mostly treating infections and illnesses but it's been nice talking with the locals and learning of their rebuilding efforts. Alex and Farah help with translation and organization, keeping everything flowing nicely. It's been exhausting but fulfilling, I try to give Laswell an update but I can't seem to get through so I'll try again tomorrow. Probably have to get closer to a long ranged receiver but that's a tomorrow problem.

Day 3: A young man came to my tent asking if I could do a house call, his grandfather was very sick and in no shape to travel. I agree to help before informing my lieutenant of where I'll be and to radio me if something urgent needs my attention. He's a fast kid but I keep pace well enough, my basic medical bag is with me along with my pistol; visible at my side, and my knife; hidden within my clothing. We arrive at a small metal shack with no windows and a small door.

The young man enters before me, holding the door open and waving me in. I have to duck to get through the door. I spotted the old man instantly, he's laying with his back towards us so I can't get a good look at him just yet. I move over to the laying figure and sit on my knees next to him, placing my aid bag down to my right.

I hear rapid shuffling as something hard is pressed to the back of my head. I know that feeling anywhere, this isn't my first time being robbed while on call. Closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and raising my hands slowly. When I open my eyes again the figure in front of me rolls over holding a rifle, it's hard for me to make out in the dim lighting.

"There's only mild pain relievers in my bag, I don't carry anything stronger when on a house call." I try to keep my voice calm and even as the barrel of the gun moves a bit lower towards my neck.

"We're not here for the drugs, we're here for you; Captain Maevis O'Connor: Second Commanding Officer of the SAS's 141 squadron and dear friend to one Captain John Price... That is you no?" A man's voice with a thick Russian accent comes from the room to my left. I don't recognize the voice but they know me which is worrying.

"You are going to be very helpful and tell us all we ask... Or you die! Understood?" I nod my head slowly trying to catch a glimpse of the figure talking but I can't see him.

"Now take her away, we'll talk in better conditions!" Before I can respond I feel a cloth cover my mouth and nose as the man in front of me reaches out and holds the cloth there. I try to struggle, to reach for my radio or gun, anything, but my limbs go weak and my vision fades.

I wake up to cold water splashing against me, bright lights on my face causing me to squint. I try to move my arms but they're bound, my legs are free though. I'm stripped down to just my tank top and cargo pants, no boots or socks. I blink against the light as a masculine figure moves in front of me. He reaches towards me to grab my face, I try to pull back before he grabs my chin.

"You lamb are going to tell me everything you know willingly... Or we'll break you and you'll tell us after. Which would you prefer?"

I turn my head into his hand and bite as hard as I can, I can taste blood in my mouth but I continue biting. A heavy blow to my gut caused me to release my hold. I hear the man cursing in Russian as I receive another blow to my stomach.

"Don't do this Lamb, it will not go how you plan. Please I hate to beat a woman with such a pretty face but I will if I have too."

"Go feck yourself..."

"I just want to know about your wonderful Captain, you see he knows about the location of a very good friend of mine and I would like to see him. Now you're his second in command and a very close ally to John, you must know something about where my friend is, no?"

"Doesn't ring any bells"

"Ah! But I haven't told you my friends name yet! Aren't you a little bit curious?"

"No, don't care either..." Another punch this time higher just below my sternum. I wheeze a bit from the blow.

"Hmm, so you truly haven't heard about the failings of Price to Vladimir Makarov?"

I freeze a bit at the name, I've never heard anything from John himself but Laswell gave me the operation file. There was a lot of blacked out text even at my clearance but from what I could read it's a good thing he's in some unknown black site prison. This isn't going to go well for me, even if I tell them everything I know I doubt they'll believe me nor will they let me go.

"I know of him but they never let me read the operation file. Wasn't interested in reading about a mad man who's dead in a ditch somewhere..."

"AH! But he's not dead, he's very much alive Ms. O'Connor... And you will tell me where."

Another punch, harder this time, the man says something in Russian and I only pick up a few words. Nothing helpful, I feel stupid for never taking Nikoli up on his offer to teach me more than just the basics.

The figure punching me laughs and walks out of my field of view. It's a small field of view due to the bright light shining directly into my face. I feel myself being grabbed by my arms and pulled up, the light in front of me moves and I can see I'm in a very simple concrete cell, no bed, bathroom, nothing just a pipe coming from over top all the way through to the other side and a small table with a chain on it.

The Russian man who was talking has his back to me as he opens the door. I throw my head back hard into the skull of the man holding me from behind and his grip loosens. I take my opportunity to bum rush the man, slamming myself hard against him and the open door. He's knocked prone as I continue to run. Blood pumping in my ears to turn a corner and come face to face with two very heavily armed guards. I try to rush past them but they grab me and pull me back, I kick and flail trying to get another opportunity to escape.

"Oh how I wish you didn't do that Lamb, now my friend will have to teach you a lesson. Demetrius?" A figure steps out of the cell I was in, he has a bloody nose. I feel a small twinge of satisfaction from seeing it bleeding and swelling.

"Teach her well!" With that I'm tossed back into the cell after a guard bounds my ankles, I trip forwards causing the air to be knocked from my lunges. I hear heavy footsteps as the man, Demetrius, looms over me. He steps onto my left leg putting heavy pressure on it, then his full weight as he kicks my side once, knocking the little air in my lungs back out. I watch as he pulls out something shiny and metallic, before placing it onto his hands. I feel a hard blunt pain as his boot connects with my side again, once, twice, three times before he stops. The man over me chuckles darkly as he reaches down and pulls me up by my hair causing most of it to fall out the bun it was tied up in.

He drags me towards the back wall, he grabs something from the table and ties the chain around my wrist. He gets the chain over the pipe and begins to pull me up higher and higher, my toes barely touching the cold cement ground. My arm high above my head stretching my arms and shoulders in an uncomfortable and painful way, there's already a bull ache in my shoulder.

"Such a lovely body." The man's hand begins to caress my hips as I try to move away. He clicks his tongue before stepping away again, he removes his jacket and turns to me with a sadistic smile. He approaches, before landing multiple punches to my stomach and sternum.

Each blow I can feel the brass knuckles he's wearing. There's a slight throbbing pain after every hit, I know I'm going to bruise. He continues to beat me to near unconsciousness before stopping. He leaves me chained up as the first man comes back, he grabs the chair I was in originally and turns it towards me sitting down in front of me.

"Interesting, Demetrius didn't touch your face. I have to say I'm happy about that, you have such a lovely face Lamb." I just stared past him not once looking at him but keeping my head up.

"Come now Lamb if you tell us what we want you'll be free to walk your cell. I'm sure your arms are hurting now, no?" I keep my mouth shut and continue staring forwards. He mumbles to himself before standing to leave.

"Give her half rations and water, you will get more if you speak Lamb."

This cycle continues for a while, Demetrius comes into the cell beats me to near unconsciousness then Wolf (This is the only name I hear anyone call him) comes to try to talk to me. I just stare past him, keeping my head high and my mouth shut. I don't know how much time has passed. I guess a few days but I know Price and the 141 will come. Farah and Alex know I left the area and I've not come back... Unless something has happened to them as well.

I'm not given much food or water, my stomach keeps growling and there's the faint gnawing sensation in my abdomen. I'm kept in the same position, hanging by my bound wrists from the chain above me. Demetrius walks into my cell and drags in a little medical cart. Wolf follows closely behind him before approaching his chair and sits down crossing legs.

"Oh little Lamb you've made this very difficult for us. You've held out well against Demetrius and I must commend you for that." He gives a little clap as Demetrius chuckles darkly next to me.

"But we need the information Lamb so Demetrius is going to start using his favorite tools. Now I'm being kind and giving you one last chance to speak." I see Demetrius picks up a blade and wince as he pulls it across my cheek. I hiss as the pain spreads through my face. I can feel the warm blood trickle down my cheek, it's a stark contrast to the cold cell I'm stuck in.

"Feck. You." I hiss, I know I just have to hold out. My team is coming for me. Price won't abandon me no matter what anyone says. I've seen him do it before for people he's known for less time. Las Almas and Alejandro's team come to my mind as it's the most recent example.

Wolf waves a hand and I feel the sharp dragging pain as Demetrius drags his blade across my upper left arm along the underside. The blade is sharp so I don't feel the pain until after the wound is made, a thumping pain that matches the beating of my heart. I can feel the rapid dripping of my blood, the sound of my blood hitting the ground echoing through the room.

"Lamb? Do you have anything to tell me?"

"You're feckin stupid if you think a simple cut will get me to tell you anything." I stare straight ahead as I try to distract myself from the pain. I can feel another slow pull of the knife across my upper hips ripping through my skin and tank top. I bite my tongue refusing to make any noise.

"Oh come now Lamb let us hear you at least." I keep myself as calm as possible as another cut is pulled across the same hip slightly above the first one. I hear him sigh as Wolf stands up and walks out the cell, turning around to look back towards me.

"If you wish for Demetrius to stop his work all you have to do is talk Ms. O'Connor. Cut her rations again, maybe delirium from starvation will help our little Lamb loosen her lips."

Demetrius continues to slash through my skin and I focus on anything else but the pain. So I start to pull back into my mind. It's like I'm slowly carving a little hole in my consciousness, it's safe and warm there. I can't talk when there as well so I can't let anything slip. Falling into the little cave helps me deal with the pain and hunger, I know I won't have to do this much longer. Price is coming, he'll be here and he will help me get out of here.

I'm dragged out of my head as I feel a hand grab my chin and something slimy drag across my cheek. Demetrius licks up my cheek, collecting my blood and groaning. I feel sick as he meets my eyes and the same maniacal grin spreads across his face. I scream as a piercing pain radiates from my lower right hip, another scream is ripped from my chest as the knife is twisted sharply before being pulled out harshly. The hammering pain matches the rapid beating in my chest.

"Oh so pretty when you cry, I'm going to burn this picture into my mind for later. Thank you Maevis."

He moves away and I quietly cry trying desperately to crawl my way back into the safe little cave in my mind. But this seems to have caved in a little, I can't pull back as far. I can still feel every drag of Demetrius's knife across my chest, arms, thighs, and back. I keep telling myself that it's okay, they're coming. They're going to get me out of here and I'll be safe.

This cycle doesn't last as long as the previous one, or at least I think so, it's hard to tell time. My stomach stopped growling, but the gnawing had spread from my lower abdomen to my chest. Every time I breathe I can feel it biting down on my ribs, like it's trying to eat it way out of me. A wild feral beast chewing at bars of metal in desperation to flee.

Wolf walks in with another man's and Demetrius. I don't bother looking at them keeping my sight fixed on the same spot as before. I've pulled myself out of my head, out of my cave, just a bit to listen to what Wolf has to say. He gives away more than he knows by talking to me. A great little bit of information he's revealed is that he's not the one in charge. He's a middle man.

I keep replaying Ghost's words in my head when he talked to me about combating interrogation. 'Never look at your capture but always listen. If you give them nothing they'll get desperate and will show their hands more often than not. That information can be used and could be more deadly than a weapon. The real task is surviving long enough to know how to use it against them.'

"Lamb, you're being unnecessarily stubborn. You're forcing my hand but again I'm giving you a chance to talk before Ivan is put to work. So I'll ask you again, where is Makarov, what do you know?" He sounds like he's begging, but I'm not stupid and keep my mouth shut.

Wolf sighs and shakes his head, gesturing to the shorter man, Ivan. He approaches me holding a needle with liquid in it. I feel my heart rate spike as I try to move away. I feel a pair of hands grab me and hold me still, I glance back to see Demetrius smiling that same disgusting smile. I start thrashing hard ignoring the pain as I reopen wounds and the strain in my arms and shoulders. I feel a slight prick in my neck and something warm spread through my neck, shoulder, and upper skull.

I retreat into my mind, as far back as I can get hoping that whatever was pushed into my veins would have a harder time affecting me. I know it's unlikely but it's all I can do to comfort myself.

It takes some time for me to feel the changes, everything is brighter... sharper. I can feel every dull ache and thrum of pain across my skin. When Wolf talks it's loud and the lights seem to flicker brighter when he does. He asks his same questions, using the same leverage that isn't that going to change my mind. I'm acutely aware of Demetrius's hands still on my hips, his thumb rubbing circles into my hips. Then he squeezes them and I thrash away from him. Wolf barks something in Russian and Demetrius leaves the room.

'Price is coming, they'll save me. I just have to hold out.' I can feel myself mumbling away, slurring my speech as I keep saying my little mantra. A part of me is very aware saying this out loud isn't a good idea but I can't stop the part of my brain that's blabbering. It's strange how aware I am of myself but unable to control my body. It's because I'm in my safe little cave in my head, just barely keeping my head above the water that has rapidly started flooding in. The pain and drugs mixing with me retreating into myself is dangerous but I'm not drowning. So I stay, breathing calmly, hoping I can pull myself out before I drown.

"Oh Lamb, you truly think Price will come for you? It has been eight days, they do not care for you. Though your little American friend tried to come get you with a small group. We have him in another building, he's faring far better than you. He holds no information that we need so we haven't touched him... Much."

"You're... Wrong! Price... Never! He wouldn't... They'll come... They have to... They will..." I feel something warm slide down my cheeks... Tears, why am I crying? I know they'll come to get me. So why am I crying?

"Poor Lamb is so loyal to someone who has abandoned you, Makarov would never repay such loyalty with this betrayal... Just tell me where he is and I'll personally inform him of your part in his escape."

"No" I hear Wolf goan in frustration before standing and leaving.

"Ivan dose her again when this round wears off. Keep doing so while Demetrius does his usual routine."

Wolf leaves me to Demetrius and Ivan. Demetrius seemed all too happy to continue his work with his knives. He raved about all the foul things he's going to do with me in mind, what he'd like to do to me, how he's more than happy to have such a resilient woman break to him. Every word made me sick and I couldn't handle listening to it anymore. His perverted words mixing with the pain is maddening.

I'm taking a risk, I know it but it's the only way for me to feel safe. I stop trying to float, stopping wading in this water, letting myself sink into thick liquid miasma of drugs and pain. It's calming in a way, everything is muffled and muddy. I feel myself drifting deeper into the strangely numbing cocktail. Safe and comfortable...

I don't know how long I drifted in the cocktail mixture of pain and drugs. I know it's been days, eventually though I resurfaced. Ivan and Demetrius eventually leave as I slowly come down from the drug. My head is pounding and my body feels like it's on fire so I stay tucked away in my flooded cave, head barely above the water. I have to crawl back out a bit as Wolf returns to my cell.

"I tried Lamb, I tried very hard to keep you out of Sergey's room but you are too stubborn. Demetrius get her down."

My ankles are untied and the chain holding me up lowers. I can't help the sigh of relief as my arms fall in front of me. I stumbled forward as I felt a hand shoving me forwards, I got the hint and started walking. There are two armed figures in front and behind me, Demetrius and Wolf to my left and right.

I'm forced to walk for a bit, passing other cells most are empty or impossible to see in. The ones with people in them aren't looking any better than me. Eventually we reach a door and I'm shoved through. It's another cement room with a small window at the top of the far back wall. It's dark I can see there's outlines in the dark of items but I can only make out a few things. There's a light on over a single chair and there's a man standing next to the chair. That's the one thing I can see clearly.

I'm shoved into the chair, my hands are rebound behind the chair. My legs are bound together and then tied to the front two legs. Wolf sits down in another chair in front of me, Demetrius leans against the wall next to the door, and the other man, Sergey walks behind me, draping a rope around the front of me and placing both hands on my shoulders.

"I suggest you speak up now Lamb, Sergey isn't going to give you much time to speak" I stare straight ahead mentally preparing myself for what is next. I don't know if I can fully retreat into myself but I have to protect myself and going there is the only way I know how.

Sergey's hand moved to grab the rope and hold it taunt. I take one last deep breath as the rope is wrapped slowly around my throat. I try to keep calm knowing that if I panic it'll be exactly what they want. But I also know that not panicking will be more difficult as this goes on.

"Last chance Lamb, all you have to do is tell us what you know. You'll be taken back to your cell maybe even get to visit your American friend, yes?"

I say nothing, slowly I feel the rope get tighter and tighter. At first there was not much of a change, it's like breathing with my compression bra and full kit tactical vest. There's a restriction but if you know how to compensate for it, it's not that hard to deal with. Then it's like running for too long, I'm bringing in air but it's shallow. Wheezing and panting, it's not pleasant but it's not enough to kill but it's uncomfortable.

As the rope gets tighter I can feel burning around my throat, the rope rubbing and cutting into the skin making it raw and tender. I can hear my heart beat, feel it thrumming in my skull. You know that feeling when you're holding your breath under water, those last moments of desperation before you push yourself out of the water? Imagine that but there's no surface to break through, I'm just sitting with the feeling. I force myself to retreat deeper into myself.

As soon as I do my body reacts, leg and arms twitching trying to fight against my restraints. My vision begins to blur and blacken around the edges, I can feel my lunges burning like there's fire slowly engulfing my chest. My whole body is thrumming and pounding in tune with my heart, like everything is pulsing. I can feel a cold sheen of sweat across my body, I think I'm crying but it's hard to tell. I think I'm too dehydrated to cry but I'm sweating so I can't be too certain. It's hard to think, to move, to do anything except gasp desperately for air.

I'm teetering on the edge of oblivion, I know if this keeps up I won't be around to see salvation. A part of me is hoping for that little push, to have this all end. I wonder if it would be the same as when I retreat into myself, just floating in the miasma of distant feelings. I wonder if I'll feel the pain of my body slowly fade or if it'll just all disappear at once...

Suddenly the pressure is gone, I'm shunted out of my brain into the driver's seat. I gasp for air, gulping and heaving trying desperately to air in my lungs. The feelings are still there but faint like I'm drifting when I know I'm not. I'm very much in the middle of all of this and I can't retreat to find comfort.

"So are you willing to talk? Because the next thing isn't going to be as nice as this Lamb."

"Go. Feck. Yourself... You can all go rot..." My voice is horse and strained.

"I really do wish you would just cooperate Ms. O'Connor, it's been eleven days... Price is not coming for you. Why protect him?"

I say nothing keeping my expression stoic, but inside I feel something begins to bleed. It's been slowly cracking slightly oozing something into my veins and to my heart. I'm losing hope, I don't want to think of Price abandoning me but it may be my reality. I get nauseous at that thought, because surely at least one of my team is fighting to come and get me, right?

No, this will get me nowhere. "Go eat a bullet"

"Sergey, you have 3 days with our Lamb here. Why not demonstrate the other event she's going to enjoy with you."

Demetrius walks behind me, grabbing the back of my chair and tilting it back holding it there. Sergey ties a cloth over my face and I instantly know I'm going to have to fight. I hear metal creaking and water rushing, footsteps and splashing getting closer and closer. I take a deep breath at the last possible second.

The water splashes over my face covering the cloth. As soon as I can't hold my breath for any longer I begin to move my head taking deep gasping breaths before moving again. Water invades everything, burning as it goes down my nose and throat, stinging as it rushes across the cut on my cheek. I hold my breath as the water moves across my face, I try to keep my movements subtle. I don't want them to be able to predict me. Eventually the water stops and the rag is removed, the rope around my shoulders is being picked up again.

"Good luck Lamb, Sergey doesn't find pleasure in this work so he'll be changing frequently between the two. I'll see you again in 3 days, hopefully after your time spent with Sergey you'll be more talkative."

I watch as Wolf leaves the room and I feel the rope tighten. There's searing pain all across my neck and a pounding in my head. I'm also incredibly cold, being wet causes the rope to slip and a soft cry escapes my lips as more tears fall from my eyes. I hear Demetrius chuckles darkly and fresh tears fall as my air supply is stolen from me again.

The next chunk of time is numbing. Going back and forth between retreating into my mind to being shunted back out in order to survive drowning it breaks a small part of me. I don't want to give up hope but I can't wait any longer, if I stay any longer I'm going to die. Escaping on my own is just as likely to kill me but there's a chance and I can't hold out any longer.

Wolf drags me back to my original cell, putting me back into the same position as before. He sits down in his chair, dismissing Demetrius and bringing another soldier to stand beside him.

"Oh little Lamb you're losing hope, I can tell. There's a dying spark in your eyes. Do you know how long you've been here?"

I keep my head down, refusing to meet his eye but too tired to keep my head up. I'm so tired, I just want this to stop... But there's only one option that will truly make this stop, I have to escape.

"14 days... Two weeks and nothing from your captain or team. I will leave you for now, let you recover for a few days and think about where your loyalty lies Lamb..." Wolf leaves and so too does the guard.

I have a rough plan on how to get out, Wolf has been true to his words so far. Because of that I've had plenty of time to think and realize that the pipe I'm strung up on is loose. If I can just get enough leverage I'd be able to get myself out. Beyond that it's survival but it's my only chance.

I'm receiving a meal again, once a day or at least that's what I assume the cycle is. There's multiple guards when the meal comes so I can't spring the plan then, but it may be my only hope.

I hear the shifting of my cell door and as I look up through my hair I see Wolf approaching with my food. It's just him in the cell but Demetrius is standing outside smiling at me. I feel nauseous again.

"You've had a day to think Lamb, how are you feeling? Maybe a bit of food will help you better come to the right answer."

"I'd think a lot better if I wasn't strung up like a butchered pig."

"I'd let you down if I could but sadly it is not my call Lamb. If you gave us what we needed then we could let you down Lamb." There's a commotion as multiple armed guards come rushing towards the cell.

"Sir! There is multiple armed soldiers invading cell block A! What should we do?"

My heart leaps to my throat, is it them? Are they finally here? Was I right that they'd come for me!?

"Who are they?"

"Mostly armed militia sir, they're only trying to get to cell block A. Its not the men you warned us about!"

No... No that can't be. Why aren't they here... Why have they left me? What did I do wrong? Surely they're here right? They haven't abandoned me... It's Farah coming to Alex... But do they even know I'm here... Does anyone know... Do they think-

"Send all squads except for A and B squads, they will guard the halls here."

My vision pulls back, back into that safe comforting area of mind that I've scraped and clawed at to keep myself sain. That dark bleeding feeling becomes a flood. I'm not in control, I can't be anymore. I'm not capable of it anymore, so float and sink. The flooding of the black fluid emotion seems to be what's moving me now.

The soldiers rush away and Demetrius turns his back to the cell. Wolf is still sitting in front of me with his back to me and he looks distracted. I grab the chain, pull myself up, swing my body forwards and wrap my legs around Wolf's shoulders. I pulled him towards me so I have better leverage and used that to pry the pipe down.

Once the chain and pipe becomes loose I loop the chain tight around Wolf's neck. And then I pull, putting all of my strength until I feel a pop then keep going until there's another pop and Wolf stops flailing. I drop onto the ground with the body of Wolf underneath me.

I stand, dropping the chains, and grabbing the pipe. Demetrius still has his back to the cell, I move towards the bars. Quickly I get the bar out of the cell and in front of Demetrius, I grab both sides and throw my entire weight back. I can feel him thrashing and clawing at my arms.

"Not so fun being on the other side is it?" I can see the panic in his eyes as he tries to turn his head towards me, something inside me purrs with satisfaction. I throw my weight back once more and hold it until he's no longer moving, until he's no longer breathing, there's a purr again. I check both bodies finding Demetrius's brass knuckles and a knife left in the cell. I cut my hand loose of their bindings and take a moment to let relief flood my system.

I open the cell door and go the opposite way the soldiers ran. My body is moving on its own, going from shadow to shadow. It's like I'm watching from a distance, through a thick fog. Everything is murky and hard to see or hear, but I still know what I'm doing.

I know that I'm currently pressed against a wall listening to three lightly armed guards talk to each other. I can feel the excitement and joy as they split off two and one. I can feel the strain of my body as I grab the guard and pull him towards me. The swift movement of my knife across his throat, the warm coating of blood across my hands. The ache and pain from moving the body to better be hidden.

My body doesn't grab his gun, a part of me understands. I have the element of surprise right now and guns are loud, but I can hear another part of me screaming to grab it. That gun is a safety net and we need that small comfort, it sounds desperate as it please. But whatever is in control doesn't care and keeps moving.

Again finding shadow my body approaches the two guards, they stop and turn their backs to each other and stand facing down two opposite directions. Slowly approaching the one on the right and grabs them. Pivoting so the guard so he's facing his buddies as they scream and shout in Russian. The one not grappled turned and sprayed a spread of bullets hitting his friends. There's warmth spreading across my lower abdomen as the body's blood seeps out all over me and the tatted dirty clothes I'm still wearing. He's still alive so my knife and hands get a fresh coat of red.

Grabbing the dead man's side arm and shooting it twice at the chest of the female guard. The two bodies drop and my body is on the move again. It's odd how different my body is on auto pilot, running purely on instinct, adrenaline, and that dark flooding feeling that is all around me.

I know what it's called, what it is but saying it, acknowledging it feels like it will break something in me. Permanently changing something I could never get back. She knows it and I know it, we both know as well that this is the only way to protect us. So She stays in charge, surviving on feral instincts while I sink slowly deeper into our mind. Escaping further and further away from everything because this is how I'll survive.

She finds more guards, four solo roaming the halls. Each one painted our hands and arms with more red, with each kill I can feel myself sinking further and further away. It's odd I've never allowed Her full control like this, She's always there when I kill. That overwhelming emptiness I feel when I pull the trigger... It scares me every time, so I focus on their humanity and the sadness of ending them. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't.

She finds another two soldiers, dragging the first one away into a shadowy alcove. As soon as the blood on our arms started to cool the other soldier appeared opening fire. The sharp, crystal clear, stab of pain pulls me up to the surface of everything. I have the chance to pull myself into the driver's seat again but it's so comforting to be just drifting. So I let myself sink again, because if I'm going to die then I want to die with whatever comfort I can get... And being adrift in this lonely sea of my mind is the greatest comfort I have.

She moves again tackling our assailant and stabbing into his throat. Standing and moving again we continue down the halls. Then there's the unmistakable sound of rapid gun fire down the hall in front of us. She ducts into the shadows again, slowly moving us towards three figures... All of their backs turned towards us. Distracted by something else and not paying attention to the danger right behind them. I can feel the deep satisfaction She purrs out as it echoes through the waters I'm floating in.

The one furthest back is the first to go as She launches herself onto the back of the first guard. Our knife finds a home in his neck, three times as more red coats more of our body. He's still holding his rifle and all it takes is for her to aim towards the second soldier, his friends impulses do the rest it unloads into number twos back.

I feel myself slipping further away, I can't handle being so close. I can feel everything, the thrumming of pain, the pumping of adrenaline, the warmth of blood soaking my body... The lack of emotions... There's nothing, just death. And that scares me so I sink further below, into the comforts of my mind.

Still holding the body She turns towards the last soldier as he fires repeatedly into his fellow guard's body. Only once he starts to reload his rifle does She begin to move, surging forwards and tackling him to the ground. It's only once we're on the ground that it seems to register that our beloved knife is in the neck of the first guard. Thankfully though we have the brass knuckles from Demetrius's cold corpse.

There's a difference between slicing someone's neck open and beating someone to death. It's a difference I never wanted to know but I do now, I can't seem to slip far enough away. I can feel everything, every crack of bone, every splitting of skin, and every splatter of blood. I force myself further away, I can't deal with this.

She grabs the soldier's knife and stabs it into his chest. I can hear the movement even through the pounding of our heart and our heavy breathing. She turns pulling our new knife from the guard's chest and begins to move towards the last living guard. She stood over him before falling to our knees, one on either side of him.

"No, please... Please! PLEA-" His begging is interrupted as the first stab goes into his back, puncturing a lunge. A lung being stabbed while some is talking isn't a pleasant sound. There's a rushing of garbled air that escapes the mouth. His pleas get quieter and quieter as her stabs get louder and more frequent. Only stopping once the guard stops moving. Something moves in front of us and I can feel the blood thirst spike again.

"O'Connor are you okay?"

Wait I know that voice! We know that voice!

She stands up gripping the knife tightly, that the same purr echoes around me. Excited for more blood...

"Calm down you're hurt, we can get you out!"

No no no no! Stop! We know him! It's Soap! He's a friend! He's our boy!

I try desperately to swim up, I have to gain control. I can't stay here but it's so hard to get out. Why? It's been so easy before to pull myself to the surface and out into control, why has it changed? I can't get to him in time. I watch in horror, trapped in my own mind, as my body moves to kill Soap.

Something large, dark, and strong grapples my body dragging Her away. I see the white skull and panicked blue eye of Ghost. I continue to claw desperately in my own mind. What once was a comfort, a way to keep myself sane and safe, now feels like another prison for me to escape... Because if I don't I may kill my boys.

Ghost gets the knife out of our hand and prevents Her from grabbing his knife attached to the vest he's wearing. I can hear Soap begging for me to calm down and every part of me is screaming the same thing. Ghost is a formidable opponent when sparing but we're evenly matched, though he tends to win a few more rounds. I hope more than anything that today is one of those days that he predicts the winning move right.

She goes to lunge again and Ghost predicts it, dodging to the side before moving to pin our body against the ground. Positioning himself better, he puts me into a headlock before sitting back. He wraps his left leg around and pins our left leg, properly preventing Her from getting any leverage.

"O'Connor please, calm down. It's just me and Johnny, we're not here to hurt you!"

She continues thrashing and growling, I can feel Ghost squeeze harder. I can feel our nails dig into Ghost's arm. At first there was only fabric but then I heard something rip and I could feel flesh. Ghost squeezes harder and the same suffocating feeling overcomes me but this time I truly hope I don't get the chance to resurface. Because I'm not sure I can get back into control in time.

"Calm down O'Connor!"

Slowly the thrashing stops and I can feel myself slipping into unconsciousness. Finally I resurface but I know it's too late so I give into the oblivion of sleep.

I'm floating again, but there's something wrong. This isn't me shielding myself from something happening, this is the familiar in-between of conscious and unconscious. That state where your mind is awake and your body is still out. I focus on what I can remember and panic floods everything, the torturing, my escape, the disconnect getting worse, my feral frenzy, Soap and Ghost. Suddenly the curtain is lifted and I can hear myself screaming.

I'm sitting up, pushed far back against the bed, breathing heavily. I'm in a hospital room not a concrete cell and all the tension and panic is gone. I look to see everyone here, Laswell, Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz and Roach. I feel tears streak down my cheeks as they check in on me and indulge me in a group hug.

Eventually I was discharged and learned I was kidnapped by the Russian ultra nationalist extremist group. They were keeping tabs on Farah hoping to catch Price the next time they interact together... But I was the second best opinion. Farah and Alex visited me in the hospital and explained what happened.

My lieutenant never informed anyone about me going out for a house call despite regulation. It got chaotic and busy very fast. It took Farah going to look for me about two days later to realize I was missing, it was only then that the lieutenant spoke up. Alex manages to track down the young man who lured me away. He learns the young man's sister was being held hostage and that luring me away was the only way she'd be set free.

It took four days to find the prison sight, only for their attempt to break in to fail and gets Alex captured. Farah the entire time was trying to get ahold of someone from the 141, anyone but nothing was going through. By the time Farah managed to get something through Price was already on his way. I feel relief knowing they were looking for me, trying to find me but I feel a bit of resentment towards how long it took. I know logically why it would've taken so long but I can't seem to shake the bitter resentment that has made it's home next to my heart.

Everyone was with me as we had to drive and again I felt myself crying. I hate that I doubted them but that small dark part was whispering that it was a reasonable thing to do. Before we leave the hospital to go back to base, Laswell stops me.

"Maevis, before you return to base I have a massage from Quinn..." There's anxiety in Kate's voice as she hands me a small envelope. "I'm sorry she's had a change of heart. I wanted to tell you before you got to base... You usually try to talk to her and I know you'd likely try..." (My friend no longer wants her OC to be in a lesbian relationship, is okay that happens! Love you Jules)

I spent the ride back to the base thinking; about Quinn, about my most recent experience, about those who've stuck beside me and tried to save me... About the shame and frustration I felt and still feel. There's a whirlwind of a million thoughts and emotions in my head and I can't focus on a single one.

Once back on base Price calls me into his office, we walk together into the room. I sat in front of his desk chair expecting him to sit there, instead he sat in the chair next to me. He had his hands clasped together with his head down causing the shadow from his bucket hat to cover his face.

"John? Wha-"

"I'm sorry it took us so long Maevis... There's no excuse for it. I should have known something was wrong the moment our communication stopped. As soon as you didn't come back from the week deployment I should have pulled everyone back from their ops and looked into it."

"John... You couldn't have known, Farah already told us that their communication was compromised. You also had multiple small operations going that you had to pay attention to. I was the one least likely to be in danger, I had Farah and Alex with me and a full squad dealing with injured civilians. I'm fine now..." I try to keep the tears in but I can feel the warmth of them falling onto my cheeks.

"15 days and 12 hours... You had multiple lacerations, bruising, and rope burns. You were severely starved and was extremely close to death by dehydration. Not to mention the lack of sleep and the cocktail of drugs in your system... You were tortured within an inch of your life and you managed to escape. You don't experience all of that and walk out fine." Price looks at me with that look. The same look he gives he'll give one of the youngsters after a particularly rough day. Thankfully this isn't the first time I've cried in front of Price so I don't feel ashamed or embarrassed.

"That's not the worst part for me though John! I... Sweet Jaesus I thought you'd never come. That you'd left me or that you couldn't find me." Price placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it slightly to comfort me.

"Then Farah's team broke into the wrong cell block and something snapped. I was so confused and hurt... I was angry... I felt... Hopeless like no matter what I was going to die so I at least wanted to die trying to get out of there..." I was struggling to breathe as the words kept tumbling out, I just kept blabbering about everything that happened. Everything came out, I told Price everything that I experienced and how I coped with it.

"I'm sorry Maevis, I'm so sorry..." John pulls me into a long hug after I finish talking. We stayed like that for a while John holding me while I cried into his shoulder. It reminds me of when we were younger, all those rough nights with Will, questioning if I made the right choices. Eventually though I calm down and I leave to debrief some random Superior Officer with everything that happened and what I learned.

An hour and a half of me going into graphic details and some high ranking general asking stupid questions. Once I'm finally dismissed the cantina is closed and I'm not in the mood to go to the rec room so I just walk to my office. I have to replace my bandages anyways. I open my office door to see Gaz sitting in front of my desk. He turns and smiles at me as soon as I close the door.

"You didn't come to dinner and Price told us you had to talk to your COs and answer questions... I noticed you still weren't out of your meeting as the cantina was about to close so I grabbed your dinner..." It was then that I noticed the tray of food on my desk, still warm.

"Thank you Gaz, that's very thoughtful of you." I walk over and sit across from him. We chat for a bit while I eat, he tells me about the mission he and Roach were sent on. It was just some simple recon with plenty of gorgeous views.

"Would you like help with some of your bandages? I know they're difficult to replace alone and I'm already here..." I smile at Gaz before nodding. I'm wearing a tank top with loose pants because of all the bandages and how uncomfortable they are when I wear a turtle neck. Though I have been wearing my hoodie.

It takes a bit and by the time Gaz finishes helping me with my arm and neck it's late into the night. I tell him I can get the rest on my own and that he should go to bed. After Gaz leaves and I finish replacing my bandages I go to bed.

It's been a few days since I've been dismissed from the hospital and put on medical leave. I'm having trouble sleeping consistently so I'm currently out for a late night walk. It was raining earlier today and now it's the perfect weather for a night walk. I'm slowly walking around the outside of the furthest hanger.

I don't see or hear anyone when suddenly there's a figure behind me. I feel myself shunted out of the driver's seat and into that same miasma from before, my vision loses focus and my body reacts before I can even comprehend. I spin and grab the figure shoving them hard against the building. I look to see Roach is who I have pinned.

Roach who has a look of shock and pain written across he face... He has fear in his eyes, he's scared of me. And that realization pulls me back so fast I wonder if I can mental whiplash. I quickly let go of my hold on the boy and step back. Shame floods senses and blurring my vision.

"I- I'm so sorry Roach... I don't know what came over me! Are you okay?" I can hear the fear in my own voice and the tears welling up in my eyes. I try to keep them at bay but they start flowing freely. Because instead of saying or signing anything to me, Roach steps forwards and pulls me into a hug. I cling to him as the tears continue their journey.

"I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you, to scare you... I don't know why I did that, I've never done that before... I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" It's getting harder and harder to breathe.

"Mom, calm down... Breathe for me yeah?" Roach pulls back a bit and places my hand onto his chest above his heart. I can feel the faintest thumping of his heart and the inhale, exhale of his chest. I unintentionally start breathing in sync with him, calming me down.

"I snuck up on you, you reacted. You didn't hurt me, I was just caught off guard. I wanted to ask if you'd like to walk with me?" I nod not trusting my voice.

We walk together in relative silence, occasionally being broken up by small chats or Ripley barking at Roach to throw her ball. We eventually make our way back into the barracks and split up to go to our different rooms. I'm physically exhausted which helps me shut off my brain a bit and fall asleep easier.

I'm sitting in my office catching up on paperwork when two figures appear in my doorway. I look up to see Ghost and Soap walking in and sitting across from me at my desk. I set aside what I was doing to give the duo my full attention.

"I wanted to say thank you for getting me out of that prison and I'm sorry for attac-"

"Don't apologize Doc" Ghost cuts me off and Soap nods in agreement. Soap stares at me, like he's looking for something before speaking.

"LT said it best, you weren't yourself. Whatever attacked us was running on pure instinct alone... Though that was scary as hell, you were horrifying. I'd say almost as scary as Ghost!" Soap was smiling as Ghost gave the sergeant a slight shove on his shoulder.

"But seriously I don't ever want to be in your sights like that again. You looked ready to tear my head off and play football with it, if Ghost hadn't jumped in when he did." Soap got this far off look before he continued to speak. "I really hope none of us have to see you like that ever again... It felt so wrong to watch you act so ruthless."

" I'm sorry you had to witness that... It scared me too, I didn't feel in control at all. It was like I was locked away in my own head watching my body react without my input... I hated it." Ghost nods his head with this knowing look in his eyes.

"Doc... Roach told me about last night, he told me you had the same look in your eyes..." I look at Ghost and he has a familiar glint in his eyes.

"While I was..." I make a vague gesture. "Anytime it got to be too much I slipped into my head, it was the only place that felt safe." I focused on a spot behind their heads. I felt like I couldn't look at them as I talked about this.

"Eventually I just stayed there, only resurfacing to listen to that bastard talk. But there was something breaking that I couldn't fix... And then the dam broke and I just kept sinking further and further down..." I felt the warmth of fresh tears on my cheeks and I just want to curl into myself.

"Is it fixed? The dam?"

"I don't think so, there's still a leak I can feel it slowly oozing near my heart. It was worse the first few days in the hospital..."

"What will it take for that dam to break again? Will it break again..."

"I don't know honestly... It will... Now that it's broken I don't think I can go back to normal." I look at Ghost and we maintain eye contact, silently acknowledging each other.

"How do we help you when it happens again Doc?"

"Knock me out, after that... I'm not sure... I've been struggling to figure out how to cope with everything. I'm still physically recovering so I can't really do what I'd normally do. I can't workout or go to the range and I can't just throw myself into a mission because I've been sidelined." I rub my temples as I think a bit more before sighing.

"Usually I'd read but I haven't gone into town to buy any new books... Though I suppose I can, now that I'm sidelined for a bit."

"Then that's what you do Doc... Trust me it takes some time to get back to some form of normalcy after something like that. You won't be the same, there's permanent changes from what happened." Ghost has the same sad look in his eyes, every time I look at him since I've woken up in the hospital.

It's not a look of pity, it's a look of understanding. Like he knows exactly what I went through and I know he does. He probably understands better than anyone even me. There's a sense of camaraderie between us now... A camaraderie that neither of us wanted the other to understand, but sadly that's not the case. Instead it's nice to know that there's someone here who can intimately understand the why behind something.

I'm not alone, a sad but comforting fact.

[ofcowardiceandkings]

the sinus headaches are already not great but Extra Shit has been added to the pile and im just sat on that right now trying to figure out what the fuck to do

[dumbkiri]

𝕯𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖄𝖔𝖚 2

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ

𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐞𝐧 𝐱 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

@lionheart178

You both asked for it and I couldn't resist. If this is well received as much as the first part, part three will include Rhaenys v Aegon v Aemond

Apologies for any mistakes spelling wise and story wise. HOTD is confusing okay!

[Name] woke up at the beginning of dawn with a knock at the door. The knock only stirred him awake because he trained his body to wake at any sound, also because he stayed alert after what happened last night. He couldn’t allow another assassination to happen under his nose. 

He blinked his eyes open and looked around the bed. Somehow Daenerys and her dragons made their way in between him and Helaena, the little girl being embraced by her mother protectively. The man sighed at the peaceful sight and he took himself out of bed with smooth movements. He didn’t want to stir his family from their sleep, not yet anyways.

The person at the door had a great amount of patience, [Name] noted. So the list of names got shorter. It couldn’t be his twin, Aegon, or his younger brother Aemond. Both would have stormed in without a second thought. His mother had patience, but her anxiety would have made her knock on the door again. The other people on this list like the council members, he didn’t want to talk to at such an early time. 

Politics were boring. 

Even still, he slipped a loose shirt over his head and popped his arms into the sleeves. Then he walked over to the door, the sleep gone from his eyes and his lips ready to spew out a curse here and there at the person for wanting to have a conversation so early. 

His hand grabbed the handle of the door and he opened it up to reveal a disheveled Aegon. His twin brother looked like a terrible mess and [Name] swiftly brought him into the large room. Aegon didn’t need to be seen by the castle people. Lords and Ladies would be talking about him for days, maybe even weeks about how he looked. 

The curse words on his lips fell short when he caught a glimpse at his twin. [Name] led Aegon over to the couch and sat him down while he took a seat across from him. Aegon sniffled and looked over to the left where he saw bodies laying on the bed with relaxed breathing. 

“They’re making mother and Jeyne follow Jaehaerys on a cart,” Aegon said softly looking back at [Name], “they s..stitched his-”

“I know, brother,” [Name] responded with a defeated sigh. It was no secret what those ratcatchers did to Jaehaerys. The poor boy had no reason to go through that pain and suffering. “You can tell Otto not to go through with this. You can grieve in a healthy way, Aegon. Have you seen your queen at all?” 

Aegon looked down at the floor with his hands fumbling over with each other, “No.”

[Name] leaned back into the sofa and said, “You should go and see her.”

“She can’t see me like this!” He whispered, gesturing to his messy look. His red eyes puffy from all the crying he did. His breath smelled of wine too. 

“It’ll be good for her to see you like that,” [Name] replied, “because it shows Jeyne that you are a grieving father. She is a grieving mother, you think she looks pretty like a queen right now?”

Aegon processed his words and he wiped his nose with his sleeve. Then he asked, “How do you not look like me? How can Helaena sleep as if her son didn’t die?” The glare didn’t go unnoticed by [Name] and he leaned forward feeling animosity radiate off of Aegon’s body. If Aegon wanted to speak ill about him and his wife, he should have spoken to someone else. 

But he bit his tongue and relaxed, his twin just needed to understand. To learn how to grieve properly. 

“I don’t look like you because I leaned on my wife for support. Helaena could sleep knowing I was in bed with her along with our daughter. Listen to what I have to say Aegon, you need your wife and she needs you. Nothing is more important than her. You do your best to love your family and to protect them.”

The lilac eyed man clutched his knees and sneered, “I regret not being there for them. I regret taking Balerion on patrol when I should have been asleep already. But she lifted the weight of my shoulders and loved me. She understood my plight despite dealing with her own. A husband and a wife need a sturdy foundation to stand on. If the floor beneath her crumbles, I know I’ll be there to hold her hand. To repair that foundation with her. That’s what you and Jeyne need to do. Grieve together, love each other and repair the foundation.”

[Name] lowered his voice when he saw a small body rise up in her bed. The little girl looked around frantically and finally spotted her father sitting on the sofas across the room. Quickly she slid out of bed and her feet carried her over to her father. 

“Daenerys,” [Name]’s features softened and he opened his arms wide to capture his little girl in his arms, “why are you crying, little one?” 

Aegon watched how loving his twin was. He never admitted it out loud, but [Name] made high expectations in being a father. He didn’t drink every night, he trained his son every day, cared for their studies and even joined Daenerys in her embroidery classes. To which brought happiness to Helaena. 

“You weren’t in bed, I thought you left us,” Daenerys cried and hugged her father tightly. Meanwhile [Name]’s heart constricted with a little heartbreak. Left us, she said. Daenerys recognizes the danger without him, the consequences of an absent father. [Name] rubbed his hand up and down her back, bouncing the leg she sat on. 

“Everything is alright, Dany. I’m here, I’m here,” He repeated and pressed a kiss at the crown of her head. After a time, her sobs quieted down and she remained in his arms, not wanting to go anywhere else. 

Aegon with a small smile on his face said, “I forgot how close Dany was to you.” He spoke the truth. Daenerys very rarely left her father’s side besides when she had to go to classes. She often flew on Balerion with him and watched Rhaegar train in the fields. Daenerys admired her father a lot, no one could ruin his image. Not even the ratcatchers. 

“You hear that Dany,” [Name] peered down and nudged his forehead against hers, “Your uncle thinks you spend too much time with me.” 

Dany wiped her tears and said, “Not enough time, uncle. You always take Father away.” Her teasing glare made Aegon feign a surrender, his hands held up high. A chuckle left Aegon’s lips and [Name] came to another realization. Aegon didn’t need Jeyne to help him grieve. 

“Please forgive me, dragon warrior,” Aegon playfully responded, “but your father is an exceptional fighter. He protects this kingdom so well and always stands up for me.” 

Daenerys laughed and sat up wanting to play along with her uncle. The little girl wrapped her arms around [Name]’s neck and said, “But who will stand up for Father? Do you think you’re worthy enough to protect the Warrior of Light, the rider of Balerion?” 

Aegon subtly looked at his twin and [Name] mouthed, “She takes play pretend seriously, you’re in for it now.” 

To which, Aegon didn’t mind because this moment distracted him from the night before. His niece took away the pain, her demanding words and playful attitude brought him into a different world. Play pretend, [Name] called it. How often did his twin brother play like this with his children? 

[Name] knew exactly what Aegon was thinking and he spoke up, “Daenerys and Rhaegar are very creative and imaginative. She plays the role of a dragon warrior, defender of the realm while Rhaegar played as a priest, a man of truth and light.” 

Aegon smirked and before he could ask what was up with that, [Name] shook his head with a grin, “Don’t ask me why, Rhaegar was different in many ways. Anyways Helaena, chosen by Rhaegar, was the Queen and you could only imagine what they made me.” 

“Oh~” Aegon kept his smirk, “they made you a king?”

[Name] laughed and responded with mirth, “A bloody peasant in love with the widowed queen.” 

Aegon hollered and fell back into the cushions of the sofa. “Your kids hold you very high in opinion, but in their world they made you a peasant!” Aegon could not believe what he heard. 

“Yes, we all dress up for our game too,” [Name] laughed again, “my clothes are very itchy, I tell you.” 

The brothers laughed together, but [Name]’s died down a bit before Aegon’s. The older twin enjoyed seeing that smile on his brother’s face. Aegon needed him, [Name] told himself. Him and his family to cheer him up. But they were to leave, very soon. Guilt ate at him and he debated whether to tell Aegon of his plan, but his brother wouldn’t take it lightly. 

[Name] planned to move to the other side, taking Dreamfyre and Balerion with him. Taking Moonlight, Nightmare and Frostfang, his children’s dragons. That’s adding two dragon riders to the Blacks. Technically one because Helaena could never burn people. [Name] would have to make that point abundantly clear to the Blacks. 

“Aegon, there’s something I must tell you.” 

[Name] saw Aegon catch his breath, a faint smile still present on his face. 

“You are strong, brother,” [Name] kindly said, “Yes, others may think you’re only a drunk. But I’ve seen you in the throne room trying to help out your subjects. Only to have Otto strike you down. I’ve seen you try to take charge, only to have that fire stoked out by the council members.”

[Name] brought his lilac eyes to meet Aegon’s shining eyes, “Do what you must to keep your fire burning. Because once it’s out, who knows how long it’ll take to rekindle it. Don’t let Mother strike you down, don’t let Otto control you anymore and most of all, don’t let Aemond underestimate you. You are their King, not their pawn.” 

A spark ignited in Aegon’s chest. Little did [Name] know, his fire was already out. But his words ignited the hearth in his heart. And it burned with strength and passion. Then [Name] stood up, carrying a quiet Daenerys in his arms. 

Aegon followed quickly and shook his head, “You should have been King, [Name]. I don’t know why Father chose me when you were the perfect candidate.” 

Smoothly [Name] responded, “I never wanted it.” The confusion on Aegon’s face made [Name] continue, “The crown, the throne, it’s all a game. I don’t know how to play it and you don’t know either. But Otto does, he played it well too. Having his daughter court our father while he grieved for our half sister’s mother was a ploy to get one of us on the throne. To have someone he can control. Do you think you sit on the throne, brother?” 

Aegon blinked then casted his eyes onto the floor, “Not really. No one takes me seriously. The council meetings take place with my opinions never heard.”

“Which is why you announce your presence. Every member of the council is afraid of Aemond because he rides Vhagar. Everyone is afraid of me because I have Balerion. What can you do to make them afraid of you?” 

“I don’t know.” Aegon replied. 

[Name] shifted Daenerys to his other hip and said, “We all have something in common that people are afraid of. Dragons are dragons, beasts the normal folk cannot begin to understand. Not like us. So show them you’re a dragon rider and a king, make them afraid of you. You’re the rider of Sunfyre.”

Aegon cleared his throat and walked over to the door. He felt a shift in the room and he looked back at his brother. This moment, it felt too somber and Aegon had to tell him something too. 

“Brother, thank you for this.” 

[Name] nodded, “I always have your back, Aegon.”

After Aegon left, [Name] moved over to the bed and wasn’t surprised that Helaena woke up. Perhaps she had already risen long ago. 

“Hello, my sweet lady,” [Name] sang and placed Dany on the bed next to her mother. Then he leaned over and pressed a light kiss on Helaena’s lips. His hands held her face with love and he pressed into a little deeper. She returned his passion and asked in between his kiss, “Did you mean it when you said it to Aegon?” 

“Of course, I did,” [Name] pulled back and sat by her bedside, taking her hands into his own. He rubbed her knuckles and brought them up to his lips. He kissed her gently and put them back on her stomach. “Now we shall get ready for our journey before the rest of the castle wakes.” 

Helaena pushed herself upward and suddenly embraced her husband. His eyes widened in surprise and he looked down at his wife with questions. Nonetheless, he kept his mouth shut and embraced her back. She felt amazing with her chest pressed up against his. He could feel her heartbeat, hear the slow breaths her lungs took in. Without noticing, his hands dragged themselves lower holding onto her waist. 

He dipped his head down and his lips started leaving a trail of kisses on her neck. One hand held her back pressing her further into him while the other hand held her head. His fingers threading in her long hair and pulling the strands gently down, so she could look up at the ceiling. It gave him more access to her neck, to her breasts. 

He would have dived straight for them if she didn’t remind him who was watching. “This isn’t the place, [Name],” Helaena spoke timidly and he pulled back to see Dany covering her eyes with her small hands. He chuckled with an apology to his wife and daughter. 

“You’re very hard to resist, my love. Excuse my behavior.” He pressed a sweet kiss on her cheek and stood up, ignoring the beautiful look in her innocent eyes. 

Helaena smiled at his bashful look and pushed the throbbing in her core away. Yes, he was also very hard to resist. She’s surprised they didn’t have more children running around them. In due time, she told herself. 

……

They’ve been in the air for quite some time and the morning sun began to rise with soft yellows and pinks.  [Name] opted out on wearing his black armor while riding with his children, but kept Hellfire strapped to his waist. 

Viserys, given a medicine to help him sleep during the flight, drooled onto [Name]’s shoulder. The father didn’t mind and he looked down in front of him to see Daenerys holding onto the cages that kept the three tiny dragons there safely. Her long hair braided into two and she wore a light blue dress paired with her mother’s. 

[Name] looked to his left and watched Helaena fly quietly next to him. She was a good distance away from him because of Baelrion’s long wingspan. So he kept a careful eye on her from time to time as well as their surroundings. If the Blacks attacked them now, the fight would be devastating for his surrendering family. 

He came for answers and sanctuary. He didn’t want a fight. 

Finally Dragonstone came into view and [Name] commanded Balerion with a powerful voice to land on a beach near the Black’s base. Balerion roared into the sky to announce their presence, no doubt alarming the people in Dragonstone. The descent was a little too fast for Viserys and the tiny boy cried all the way down, alarming Helaena who followed after the Black Dread. 

When they touched, Balerion dug his claws into the sand and lowered his neck so the Targaryen family could climb down. [Name] being the first one off the giant dragon helped his daughter down. The small girl watched hopped into his arms, careful that the cage didn’t smack him. 

Helaena touched down fast next to Balerion and released the reins on Dreamfyre while [Name] moved the swaddle from his back to his front. 

He tried to ease Viserys and when he turned around to ask his wife for help, Helaena was already next to him. A worried mother is quick to help her babes, he’s always reminded. [Name] handed Viserys over to his wife with no hesitation and she soothed him with gentle caresses and hushed mumbles. 

Then a loud screech resounded in the sky and he looked up to see three dragon riders making their way to the beach. A golden dragon, a burning red one and a small one. [Name] knew these dragons and their riders, Rhaenyra, Rhaenys and Jace. Luckily for him, Daemon wasn’t with them.

The three landed on the beach a safe distance away from Balerion who challenged them a little too quickly for [Name]’s liking. The black beast held his head high and covered [Name]’s family with a wing. Daenerys awed at the sight and Helaena looked at [Name] wearily. 

“Lykiri, Balerion,” [Name] walked forward with a hand raised at his defensive dragon, “lykiri.” 

Balerion quieted down, his throat bobbing up and down a few clicks and groans rumbling in his chest. His tail swished about on the sand and he lowered his head down to his rider, pressing his large head onto [Name]’s side making the man stumble on the sand. 

With a quick pet, [Name] ran his hand down the scales and rough skin of Balerion’s snout. His eyes dragged away from his beast to the three hesitant dragon riders across from him. He looked back at his family and Helaena gave him a nod of approval. This wasn’t a fight, [Name] reminded himself as he walked forward. Be respectful and pledge your support to Rhaenyra. 

Offer yourself and Balerion to her cause, he told himself again. 

When he walked up to a respectful distance for a conversation, [Name] greeted his estranged family, “Sister, cousin and nephew, I don’t mean to alarm you.”

Was that a good start? To let them know that he wanted no fight. He didn’t use their titles, not quite used to addressing them as so since he acknowledged his brother as the king and such. 

“If not to alarm us,then what do you want?” Jace questioned, resting his hand on the pommel of his sword. 

[Name]’s own fingers itched to rest on Hellfire, but if he did that Balerion would take it as a sign to defend his rider and his family. So he kept his hands at his sides and responded with a calm tone, nothing like Jace’s hostile tone. 

“Originally I came here looking for answers-”

“With two dragons at our front door, one bigger than the rest of ours?” 

Rhaenrya and Rhaenys both snapped their heads over at Jace to silently tell him to keep his mouth shut. Both being mothers and both wanting to know the reason why [Name] was here. But if the lilac eyed man kept getting interrupted, then he wouldn’t get to the point. 

“Please, nephew, let me finish my sentence,” [Name] gritted his teeth, his patience running thin, “I came here looking for answers about my son’s death. They are pinning Jaehaerys’ death and Rhaegar’s on your shoulders. So did you or did you not give the order to murder our sons?”

He directed his question to his half-sister. 

“Sons?” Her voice faltered and she took a step forward, “Rhaegar was killed as well?” Rhaenrya looked behind [Name] and saw a visibly concerned Helaena with Daenerys and Viserys by her. But no Rhaegar. 

[Name] sadly nodded, his throat constricted closing the airways painfully. He cleared it away and said, “He died trying to protect his cousin. They slammed him up against the wall and strangled him. My boy didn’t stand a chance against a ratcatcher.” 

“I-I,” Rhaenyra’s eyes watered up, “I did not give the order, this was done without my knowledge by my husband.” 

Immediately a scoff left his lips and [Name] looked over at the water. He muttered with a disdainful look on his face, “Of course he did, I’m sure he did it to get revenge for you. Aegon is looking to do the same, but I am not. I blame my mother and her cunt of a guard, Cole.”

“What happened?” Rhaenys asked, trying to get the whole story. They received word that Jaehaerys was killed, but no mention of Rhaegar. Now [Name] put the blame on his own mother and her sworn protector, Criston Cole. 

“I went out to fly Balerion in the night while Helaena and Jeyne entertained the children in their rooms. One ratcatcher and a man of the Night’s Watch came in claiming ‘A son for a son’.  They cut Jaehaerys’ head off while another strangled Rhaegar. This happened because the knights were relieved from their watch on the order from their Lord Commander. While the boys were on their way to their deaths, Jeyne and Helaena took the remaining kids out of the room looking for help. But there was none. So Helaena went into our mother’s room.”

He took a deep breath in and balled up his hands, he looked back at Rhaenyra and finished off his explanation, “My son died because my mother wanted to get a good fuck in before she turned in her bed.”

Rhaenyra couldn’t believe it, but at the same time she did. Alicent always posed as this woman of faith. Cole posed as a man worthy of the white cloak, ordering people here and there like he was above them. But they were scum, trash beneath her feet. They disgusted her. 

“We are very sorry to hear about this, [Name],” Rhaenys spoke for the emotional Rhaenyra, “We would never order something like this, we want to avoid fighting as much as we can. We tried reaching out to your mother-” 

[Name] rubbed his chin and pulled his sword out, it didn’t ignite into flames, but it unnerved the three members of the Targaryen family. Their dragons, mainly Syrax and Meleys, roared at the action. In turn Balerion puffed out his chest and let out a louder roar than those two dragons combined. 

The sand hit his back and [Name] took a knee, surrendering his valyrian sword over to Rhaenyra. With his head bowed, [Name] spoke, “I don’t care what happens to my brother or mother. I only care about my remaining family. As a father it’s my responsibility to choose them. So here I am, pledging myself and my dragon to your cause. If you’ll have us, Queen Rhaenyra, I will put an end to the Hightower-Targaryens. I will answer your call and go to battle with Balerion. You do  not have a need for an army anymore when you have us.” 

The three Targaryens looked at each other very shocked to see a Green kneel before them. Pledging his support to Rhaenyra, she couldn’t believe the rider of the Black Dread was doing this. The Blacks have always been afraid of the green monstrosity Aemond rode even more so of Balerion. 

Yet the rider, [Name] Targaryen, had different views in this war. 

“I accept you and your family, brother.” Rhaenyra walked up to [Name], her dress fluttering in the light breeze. She could hear the small protest Jace let out of his mouth, but Rhaenyra knew [Name]. 

He was the only brother she didn’t feel threatened by. He always stated that he was happy father named her his heir, saying that he never wanted the crown and its burdens. Plus she saw the love for Helaena in his lilac eyes. He would never bring her harm. 

Rhaenyra kneeled down and picked up his head with her hands. The tears running down his face cemented the fact that [Name] needed her to accept him and his family. His hands dropped his sword and he hugged Rhaenyra tightly, holding onto her like a son does to his mother when looking for comfort. 

“She didn’t apologize to us,” [Name] growled out, “She had my son killed and she defended Cole instead of admitting to her faults.” 

Rhaenyra accepted his hug and said, “I don’t know why she did that.” His words carried in her stomach heavily, he truly did blame the death of Rhaegar on Alicent. It almost felt like he hated his mother. Rhaenyra pulled away from him and wiped his tears away with a frown on her face. 

“You would fight for me? Kill your brothers if the situation calls for it?” 

[Name]’s eyes hardened and he didn’t falter in saying, “I pledged my help Rhaenyra, I will answer any call and support the Blacks in the battles to come. I will support you.” 

Rhaenyra’s frown curved upward into a gracious smile, “Let’s get you and your family settled in some rooms. You can send Balerion and Dreamfyre to hunt after we land in Dragonstone. Then we can talk about your place in the council.”

“My place in the council?” [Name] asked and picked up his sword from the sand and followed after her to stand proudly. He sheathed Hellfire back into its holster and watched Rhaenyra. 

His sister nodded her head and said, “There’s a lot of old men on my council. They say they support me, but disagree with me on almost everything. They want to spill blood, but we don’t have capable dragons to do so.” 

[Name] agreed with her words, “Yes, that is true. Father always said your dragon was more of a spoiled mother than a warrior. Meaning no offense to you or Syrax.” He chuckled seeing the expression on Rhaenyra’s face. 

“Yes, well the ones capable of fighting are Meleys and Caraxes, but we need them for Vhagar or even Balerion.” She looked over at the Black Dread and his red eyes pierced her bright ones. “Now that you’re here, we could do a lot of defending our supporters and their homes. I will pair you with Rhaenys, you two could pose to be a formidable duo. One with speed and the other power.”

“Well we do pose a huge threat to Aegon’s claim to the throne, sister,” [Name] looked back at his wife and remembered something important. 

“But I will not allow Helaena to fly Dreamfyre. Both of them will remain in Dragonstone, safe from any battle.”

Rhaenyra understood his demand, but she had to know why. “Any particular reason why she cannot fly her dragon to battle?” 

“Have you ever seen Helaena hurt a creature, crawling or walking?” [Name] shot back feeling defensive for his wife. 

“Well no, I heard she likes to keep bugs and take care of them.” Rhaenyra responded with a small laugh. 

[Name] smiled back, “That she does, sadly we had to leave the ones she had in King’s Landing behind. My point is she cannot give the command to burn people, sister. Please don’t make her do it.” He begged. 

“Of course not,” Rhaenyra reassured him, “She will remain here with your children.”

“There’s something else I would like to ask of you,” [Name] stopped Rhaenyra and looked back at Balerion. “I don’t know if you noticed, but Rhaegar…he’s with us too. We would like him to be honored here at Dragonstone in Targaryen tradition.” 

“We shall set it all up for you, will Balerion be the one to ignite the pyre?” 

“No,” He stretched his hand out and Daenerys immediately ran over to her father. As his little one ran towards him, Rhaenyra spotted the two dragons; one perched on her shoulder and the other clinging to her hip. “Daenerys has bonded to two dragons, Moonlight and Nightmare; Rhaegar’s dragon. She will command them and we shall see if Nightmare truly bonded with her or just smells Rhaegar on her.” 

“An interesting child, you have,” Rhaenyra commented lightly. 

And [Name] would have it no other way. 

……

The Targaryen family stood behind the Hightower family respectfully watching Balerion with weary eyes along with their council members and guards. If [Name] wanted to he could turn his attention on them and have his beast burn them in black fire. 

But Rhaenyra reminded them of his oath to support her. After all, [Name] came to Dragonstone to honor his son and protect his remaining family. 

Daenerys stood at the side of the pyre holding back her tears. She watched Rhaegar being tackled by the ratcatcher, heard his last words then the clang of his dagger when it fell from his hand. She was going to miss his stupid jokes and his protective nature. She held her hands out, Moonlight perched into her right hand and Nightmare on her left hand. 

They looked at her as if they waited for her command. “Brother,” Dany spoke quietly, no one could hear her over the crashing waves below the cliff, “In our next life, I hope we live long enough to rule the skies together.” 

A moment passed then she gave out the infamous command, “Dracarys.” The two dragons looked away from her and aimed their snouts at the pyre. Slowly they opened up their mouths and breathed out a stream of orange fire. The twigs caught on fire first before the chain reaction began. 

The funeral rite went slow and [Name] walked up to Daenerys, letting go of Helaena’s hand. He pulled his daughter away from the small fire, so he could finish it off with Balerion’s black fire. He gave a subtle nod to everyone surrounding Rhaegar’s body and immediately they all backed up. 

“My love,” He spoke to Helaena and handed Daenerys’ hand over to hers. Helaena hugged a crying Dany who could no longer hold her tears. Then he walked a bit forward away from his mourning family, holding the pommel of his sword tightly.

“Balerion!” He shouted over the waves.

The black dragon shook his whole body responding to his rider’s call. The ground beneath his clawed talons broke under the pressure of his weight. 

“Dracarys!”

Balerion puffed out his chest, his wings spread out and his neck peered over the pyre in a grim image to the rest of the people. His large mouth opened up and all they saw was a dark pit, the fire blending in the dark of his mouth. With a resounding screech, Balerion breathed his black fire onto Rhaegar’s body. 

[Name] watched on in silence, hearing his wife and daughter cry out in anguish. They couldn’t express their sorrow the night of. But here, they let the water flow out of their eyes like a river. The crackling of the fire, the waves below and their cries felt unreal to him as he lost himself in his thoughts.

If he ever sees Criston Cole on the battlefield, he’ll snatch him from the ground. He’ll bring the oathbreaker into the skies, above the clouds and let him fall to his death. He wanted to instill fear into Cole. He wanted to burn Cole, he wanted to behead him. There were so many ways to kill a man. 

The black smoke reached the skies and he turned away from the pyre. He outstretched his arms and embraced his girls. Daenerys clung to his leg while Helaena wrapped her arms around his neck. 

Aegon may have gotten to the ratcatcher first, but Cole was his. This he will make sure of.

[flowersdiceandlove]

pt 2 of Bingqiu Family Headcanons bc I can't believe I forgot to put these:

part 1

Shen Yuan's older brother (could be both, but at least the oldest) was already married and had at least one kid. Because of this, Shen Yuan got stuck with watching the kid for at least a few minutes while everyone else was busy or as a last resort type babysitter. And because of that he knows how to take care of babies and little kids. He's actually good at it. He was a little awkward at first, but after the like...third? time he got stuck with a kid he figured it out. Which is why everyone is so surprised that they don't need to give Shen Qingqiu nearly as many tips for dealing with babies as they originally thought.

Shen Yuan was still bottom of the list for babysitters though because of his overall...everything. They just assumed that he didn't like babysitting and wasn't very good at it. Shen Yuan did not contest this.

All their kids get Binghe's Heavenly Demon blood parasites when they're babies. Bingqiu are not taking any chances. They want to know that if their kid get's lost, they can find them. What their kid's medical status is and if they need healing.

They're a bit (read: a lot) overprotective. But they have good reason given all that happened to them and with Binghe and just the overall dangers of the world they live in and demon politics.

(This one's my favorite) Bingqiu's kids have "Shen" as their surname. Luo Binghe's surname "Luo" was just given to him because that was the river he was found in. It doesn't hold any real meaning to it beyond that. However, for Shen Qingqiu, he had the surname "Shen" even before he transmigrated. Shen Yuan. So, it holds more significance for him. By being able to pass his real surname onto his kids with Binghe, it's like he's able to share a part of his "true" self with them. It's the surname of his family. It's his parent's surname. It's his older brother's surname. It's his meimei's surname. It's the surname of the extended family he only saw a couple times a year during holidays. It holds history. It holds love. "Shen" is the surname of his family. It's him getting to pass down his family legacy and history and love even though he's in a completely different world. It's the connection of his last life and this one.

Adding onto that last one: Bingqiu absolutely argue over what surname to give the kid(s) for weeks or even months before deciding on Shen. But, Luo Binghe is the one arguing that their kids should have "Shen" as their last name because it's shizun's last name. my kids have to have shizun's last name😭😭🥺🥺, and Shen Qingqiu is arguing that it should be "Luo" because Binghe's the protagonist and that's just how it should be internally, externally he's like "Binghe is Emperor of the Demon Realm, so it only makes sense that they should have Binghe's surname."

More on that: When they finally come to an agreement on "Shen" Shen Qingqiu's eyes prickle with tears, and if a few fall free the only ones who know are the two of them. It just means so much to him that they'll have his name. He honestly didn't think it was an actual possibility and that of course they would have Binghe's surname, so when it's finally decided that it will be "Shen" it finally hits him (and it hits him hard) that he'll be passing his family name on. Not Just as Shen Qingqiu, but as Shen Yuan as well. It's like all the grief he felt over dying and thinking that other life (and his family) was gone forever that he's been suppressing just rips free of the locked chest inside him now.

Shen Yuan never thought he was going to have a family. I'm totally believing the chronic illness/die young hc about him, so he always thought he wouldn't get the chance to have kids. So, he has feelings about actually being able to raise a family. And, with Luo Binghe no less.

They are both very Not Normal about having kids with the other.

This next part is mpreg, so skip if you want. There's nothing below it.

If it is mpreg and Shen Qingqiu is the one giving birth, he curses like the chronically online millennial he is while in labor. He pulls out the crudest most creative curses that he learned from the darkest parts of the internet. Everyone that hears is horrified at the things coming out of his mouth. Most don't even know what half of what he's saying means (modern lingo).

Luo Binghe is very impressed and horny about it. He wants to hear him curse more. He decides he's gonna find a way to make Shen Qingqiu curse in bed.

And he screams at Luo Binghe that he is never doing this again with the most threatening aura Luo Binghe has ever seen from him. Luo Binghe agrees easily, happy and smiling. He's just happy Shen Qingqiu is doing it this time.

After the baby's born and in Shen Qingqiu's arms and he's stared at it for a couple minutes, he asks Luo Binghe for another. Luo Binghe then laughs out loud saying that Shen Qingqiu just told him he was never doing it again. Shen Qingqiu then blushes and says "Well, it's not that bad. And they really should have a sibling..."

Mu Qingfang is the doctor overseeing all this. He's the best doctor. And only the best for Bingqiu and their baby.

Mu Qingfang is the only one not surprised by the things that fall out of Shen Qingqiu's mouth during labor. He just smiles and tells anyone looking horrified that it's best to just ignore anything that is said during labor. (this of course doesn't apply to actual medical things or demands and just the curses and threats and such.)

Whenever Shang Qinghua is in the labor room, Shen Qingqiu curses him out and throws whatever he can reach at him full-force because he blames Airplane for making this so painful. He created everything else, so why couldn't he make labor easier!?!?! Everyone is confused by this, and no one can figure out why Shen Qingqiu is so mad at SQH specifically, or why Shen Qingqiu seems to be blaming Shang Qinghua. (a small few think that they had an affair and SQH is actually the father, but that thought's dispelled when the baby comes out with a red, glowing Heavenly Demon mark)

The reason Shang Qinghua is even in the labor room to begin with is because he's one of Shen Qingqiu's support people. (I love cumplane friendship. They're ride or die. Shang Qinghua's not gonna leave his bro hanging and he's seen so much gore in this world that he's not even queazy watching. But most of his time in the room is spent hiding behind others to avoid being hit. He is however calling out encouragements to Shen Qingqiu as he does so)

And, if it wasn't decided ahead of time that Shang Qinghua was gonna be there, once the labor actually starts kicking up gear and it gets more painful, Shen Qingqiu grabs the front of Mu Qingfang's (or Luo Binghe's) robes, pulls him in, and says "bring me shang qinghua," with a dark glint in his eye specifically so he can curse him out for making it this painful and throw things at him.

During the mpreg, anything Shen Qingqiu craves, Binghe makes it. No matter how weird. He doesn't question. But, when Shen Qingqiu starts craving modern food or food from cultures that aren't in PIDW, Luo Binghe has to ask some more questions to figure out how to make it. He'll also enlist Shang Qinghua's help for taste testing to make sure he got the strange dish right before presenting it to his grumpy, pregnant shizun.

If it's mpreg and Luo Binghe is the one doing it. He gets all the pregnancy glow with none of the downsides. He might get a bit of morning sickness, but only when shizun is there and can rub his back and pamper him until he's not feeling queazy anymore. And it's only queazy, not actual throwing up. No, he's not faking it. It's just the protagonist halo.

[bentosandbox]

quick TL for Swummer Module bc it was great (and a bit of Chummer's module)

Happy 5 year anniversary of the chenswire (chapter 5) banner

[Pinned] Regular Chat Group (4)

16:26 Guma: I'm hungry, what's for dinner? Swire: Let's have something nice. Grand Lungmen Resturant, 8PM! You need to try that new puhn choi on their menu. It's their usual recipe, but they use ingredients sourced from that new MCT trade route. They have stuff from Rim Billiton to Sargon. Super fresh. The set also comes with a bottle wine from Sami! Swire: Bison and I worked our asses off to establish this supply chain so you guys better try it! @ Rat Rat: You're counting me in?

17:09 Guma: So hungry. can we go now? Swire: There's no seats available rn, just snack on something first!

18:32 Guma: hungry...

19:20 Guma: so hungryyyyyyy...

19:58 Rat: Something urgent came up, you guys go on without me

20:08 Swire: Huh? Swire: Wb hoshiguma?

20:23 Swire: It's been so long since we had a meal together so we better get one today! Lmk what you want to eat asap after work!

20:41 Swire: so what are we having tonight?

21:19 Swire: what are we having tonightttt??????? Swire: LIN YUXIA I SAW YOUR READ NOTIF!! answer! Rat: I just finished work. Didn't you just release your Director Swire Lungmen Food Guide with the nonstop noisy af TV ads. why are you asking me to decide Guma: Done with my emergency mission. I'm fine w anything as long as there's meat. So hungry I could eat an entire burdenbeast head Rat: What about the snack street? 'the shopping district is right next door, a convergence of unique goods from all over Terra. Only in Lungmen can you shop the whole land!' Writing's not bad Swire: Duh its my work so ofc the copywriting has to be good too Guma: nah sounds like there won't be a lot of meat Swire: Remember the volcanic mud cleanser I got for you @ Rat and the surfboard @ Guma you can buy them there too Swire: Bison and i adjusted the prices until they're just slightly pricier than what you'd pay in siesta. Does that work? Guma: Don't feel like eating surfboard Rat: Then international trade park? The guide's no.2 Swire: Sure we're drawing some investors over there atm so there's plenty of foreign food there they're p good Guma: I want meat also ill take more than 30min to get there from here ill die from hunger Swire: Pity. It's pretty popular with the youths yk, recommended date spot Rat: Agh! Rat: Final option. The cai zhe min stall behind the LGD office. That or you guys can starve Guma: no objections Swire: no objections

21:30 Swire: wait LYX why do you have my guide i thought you didn't like that sort of noise Rat: Just happened to pick it up, problem?

21:33 Rat: Why is the czm stall not in your guide? Swire: I wanted to but the boss wouldn't let me sth about its too bougie for him hes just a regular noodle stall Swire: True tho. Certified Lungmen™️ moment

21:38 Guma: I already ordered come ASAP

23:35 Guma: Why hasn't chen read any of our messages? Swire: Bc she has to connect to an intercity net first. Who knows she might just be on the top of a haystack in some valley waving her terminal around for signal right now

--new messages-- PGL: ...... PGL: you mean a pile of rubble PGL: I'm back in lungmen, i want to eat czm too

thoughts/notes:

As I mentioned in the other ask Swire set nicknames for the other 3 Hoshi: 🐻🐻 Chen: Puk Gaai Lung Lin: Stinky Rat (wanted to use CLS (cau lau syu) but i kept misreading it as cho shan land so lmaoo

Hoshi 'i don't feel like having surfboard for dinner' guma

Lin really likes her cart noodles huh (nodding)

Hoshi and Lin both finished their urgent work at the same time 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

this is so good for character study idk like the way lin is like indirectly 'me too?' and never commits but doesn't exactly ghost 24/7 either also her being like -_-💢this or you starve idc HOSHIGUMA.....hungryguma so cute she dgaf Swire. 'the youths love coming here for dates' spoken like a real 25+yo AND CHEN... when youre that one guy in the gc whos overseas or in a diff timezone .......i doubt the timeline doesn't add up so nicely but i had a funny mental image of the 3 eating their noodles and then suddenly chen in her victorian outfit shows up behind them all covered in blood and dust from ch14

Right uh Chummer module:

shes in dossoles, some boy is asking her for help because his dad pulled his mom into some smuggling trade (and he used to be part of it too) chen is like dw i'll punish him and his gang if they deserve it and the boy asked if prison will reform his dad (chen: ...why do you ask) saying his dad used to be Normal but then became money hungry after they came to dossoles and promised him he would take them on a cruise to spot rainbows or something?? chen is like theres water everywhere here shouldnt you have seen enough rainbows. hes like it doesnt count it has to be on a ship and all... she thinks its valid as she remembers how much she wanted wei's approval back then and asks if he still thinks the same and hes like yeah but i cant do it alone... chen is silent for a moment and then helps the boy out, leaving a note before they split ways 'then you'll have to figure out a way to make him hear you out, to tell him you want him to be a better person. at least, he needs to understand your point of view' then it switches to 3rd person narrative lol it rained that day, and chen(女侠 ..!!) subdues a criminal gang, rescuing a woman. the surprising part is that the leader wanted to fight to the end before a child suddenly appeared before him. at some point the rain stops and a rainbow appears, making the gangleader hesitant and eventually drops his weapon after (his son) says something to him. witnesses remark on how chen did not seem happy by this outcome, only pensively staring towards the east

honestly my first reaction was 'omg chen nuxia interrobang' and then 'wuh..??' bc it was so vague compared to what was essentially chatfic or w/e the term is lmao not much on the brain atm except:

hen module: looks toward lungmen swire module: im back

the kinoooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fel-09]

Incomplete Vampire Part:2

End

This work contains scenes 18+ please pass by this fanfic if you are younger

Warnings: 18+, Blood, Disease,

stockholm syndrome

Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x fem!reader

Another warning! : the fanfic is not edited properly because the author wants to correct it 3 times to make sure everything is ok

In between: I tried to notice something but my brain switched off at one in the morning (that is now)

________________________________________________________________________

Many years have passed since Carlisle took (the reader) into his house, turning her into a vampire, the girl gradually adapted to her new essence, but there was a problem she was still ill, her body was practically doomed to suffer forever from the disease, but would not die from it, her body was warm like a human, (reader) even when she overcame her vampire side, she was still weaker than most, because of security measures, Carlisle did not let her out of the house, sometimes he had to sleep next to her to feel when she needed painkillers in rare manifestations of her illness

After returning from work, Carlisle wearily sat down at his desk in his office, he decided that taking some of the work at home would be the best idea because he could take care of (the reader) , his gaze fell on the documents, there were 15-20 pieces , he would have dealt with them quickly

There was a clatter of heels in the hallway, the door to Carlisle's office opened, and there stood (the reader). Carlisle looked up from the papers in his hands and gave her a pleasant look , clutching the hem of her dress a little nervously(the reader) looked straight at him. a pleasant wave passed through Carlisle's body when he noticed what she was wearing ... The dress he bought her , a week ago, is a soft creamy color with satin fabric.

Carlisle knew her body proportions..what style and cut of fabric would suit her , what size of shoes she had , so he did not need to take her to the store , she always stayed at home so that he could take care of her, he decided that she did not need a hairdresser, her long hair suited her , emphasizing her delicate features, at one point he Lost too much in his own thoughts, Carlisle shook his head, focusing on her

The girl hesitated and entered his office, closing the door behind her, her quiet steps echoed through the room when she approached him at his desk and started a conversation

"Carlisle, I want to talk to you"

At that moment, the man realized what the conversation was going to be about and his eyes darkened and his voice became stern

"Honey, if you start talking about walking alone and work again, then forget about thet"

"But I can't lives like that anymore....I want to get away from this house a little bit, it's like I'm locked in a cage, I have no choice about anything."

Carlisle just leaned back irritably in the chair his cold gaze swept over her face, gathering his strength, he stood up and hovered over her small body, squeezing her shoulders with his hands tightly enough not to hurt, he would not let her go for nothing

If something had happened to her? He would not forgive himself, she was too fragile and naive, she would not be able to do anything without him, even a step, Carlisle looked into her eyes, noticing her rapid heartbeat, he had the impression that she was still a person

"My no means no, and I think I've given you too much freedom."

He hugged her to him and nuzzled her neck, inhaling her scent, ,his hands moved down smoothly clasping her hip, and the other lay on her lower back pressing her to him, to which the doctor received her trembling body which reflexively clung to him, this was not the first time and not the last When he treated her like that , even though Carlisle was so obsessed with her that he bought a house separately so that he could live alone with her , he never went too far with her ...But now

His patience had run out, he was too tired at the moment, always worrying about her health, even if it was useless.., sitting down at his chair, he held her by his hips, pressing her to himself and sat her on his hips , squeezing them gently, the reader shuddered , putting her hands on his shoulders and gasped

"Carlisle Please I.."

To which she received a slap on the ass, and she moaned softly, burying her face in his shoulder with a groan , Carlisle rubbed the place where he hit her, slowly taking off her panties

"I didn't tell you to talk, you know? Next time, so that this does not happen again" - to which he received a Nod , the doctor was satisfied with her behavior, although he could have demanded an oral agreement, it was enough for him, because carlisle did not want to put too much pressure on her

"Lift up your hips darling, I have to take off your underwear."

Pov: you

You lifted your hips and gave him access to take off your panties, settling more comfortably on his hips, he did not take off your dress, but gently and carefully ran a finger over your stockings, pulling them off and letting go so that he pressed back against your skin with a slap, to which you hissed, and squeezed his shoulders harder,

His hands moved steadily, and slowly while his hand lay on your clitoris gently massaging it, to which you began to moan a little, the sticks slid deeper into your masonry, rubbing them with your lubricant ,

"Carlisle, please,"

You whispered in his ear to which he let out a quiet grow, starting to kiss your cheek, leaving wet footprints on them -"all in good time, my sweet, you have to wait until I finish okay?"

You nodded and sobbed , it was too good while he massaged your clitor, and then slid the fingers into the Inside your body ,to which you made more obvious moans, the fingers began to move and stretch you , from the inside you felt like burning while his Fingers were cold , rubbing the place where you liked the most , When did you let out a groan Carlisle caught your lips gently kissing you while his tongue worked in your mouth

You were already on the verge when you felt how his fingers were no longer in you , feeling the emptiness you whined into his lips, Carlisle broke the kiss and whispered

"I'm sorry, my dear, but I have to punish you, in a different way," he took off his pants and carefully freed his penis, sliding inside you, he moaned ,feeling how wet and hot you were

"You're going to sit like this until I finish my work, and it's going to take over an hour, my sweet." Although he lied and could have finished the job faster, Carlisle wanted to teach you a good lesson, and every time you wanted to move while he was working, his hand slapped your ass every time

No.. Carlisle wouldn't let you go, because you belonged to him, right? ...even if he has to lock you at home .... with a key or a chain

________________________________________________________________________

I hope you like it and the bot on this story

(click here☝🏻)

And here is my art :

[kerubimcrepin]

An analysis of That One Moment from Wakfu OVA - Book 2, Ush

Technically, this post is a part 4 of my liveblog, but still...

Today we will be talking about the interaction that I am most mentally ill about in the entirety of Wakfu.

Before I go completely off the rails: I think it's cute that despite everything, Keke still cares a lot about Ecaflip and Ecaflipus, and Atcham still cares about killing people for wronging him.

Things have changed after six centuries, but they're still just themselves. Anyway.

There is so much happening here. SO much. Let me break it down point by point:

The most obvious one: by addressing them as kids, he pulls his "I am roleplaying as your father for these strangers who don't know anything about our weird familial situation, and you will obey me" card. This is important because:

Kerubim and Atcham know how much Joris cares about the Brotherhood of Tofu and their opinions of him, to the point of going a little bit crazy at the thought of offending Yugo and Adamai.

So, even if him pulling the "I'm your dad" card is a bit egocentric, they can't say anything about that openly — because Joris would be so, so sad if everyone in this room knew he lives with his dad for 600 years now. He'd be so mad too, because "papychaaa, chaaaoncle stop embarrassing me in front of my friends!"

We KNOW Kerubim cares about not embarrassing Joris — because in the Dofus MMO he won't shut the hell up about his 20-30 dead loved ones from 200 years ago, says a Singular Thing about Atcham, and absolutely nothing about his very much alive son/fake dad, at best managing a little "we all want someone small in our lives..."

In my opinion, while some families are built on mutual roasting, the Crepin-Jurgen household houses three people with very fragile senses of self-esteem, so anything resembling roasting is usually light, exclusive to when they're all alone, and never about things that they actually hate about themselves ("short, weird, ugly, hypocrite, weak, overthinker"; "ugly" (some bald jokes allowed, but it depends on the mood); and "narcissist who kept his son in a hazardous environment for the first 7 years of his life and gave him 30 mental illnesses").

Besides the fact that Keke and Atch care about Joris making friends, — for the three of them (but especially Joris and Atcham), feeling belittled is the easiest way to ruin a relationship irreparably. If you insult them, it's just over. And I don't mean it in a funny-haha cutesy way. Sometimes, people actually dislike when they are insulted repeatedly about something they legitimately hate about themselves, and, y'know, hate everyone who hurts them this way? And you will not believe it, but people who actually care about them know and respect that. Because they love them.

So yeah, the three of them are all creatures of pride, and they respect that about each other, — which is why would never put each other in a position where they might get laughed at. (like suddenly revealing the Dad Roleplay and "600 years of living with his dad" sort of interpersonal lore)

However, being creatures of pride, I don't think Kerubim and Atcham are happy about Joris doing this. Especially because of the next point: Joris uses his position as their roleplay-dad and Asocial Son/Nephew Who Needs To Impress His Friends to essentially force them to let him go into a battle alone. Essentially, this line is translated as "you have glass bones and paper skin. you can't follow me because I said so, and you can't protest without looking weird." into Normal Human Tongue.

Joris does this for a very simple reason: they are weak (though so is he), and he's scared — he loves them! It's normal that he doesn't want to see them be hurt! Even if they have multiple lives, but they're not infinite lives, and it doesn't make every time they die NOT scary and traumatizing! He wants Kerubim and Atcham to go and rest, and he's also excited that they're finally meeting his friends.

However, unlike them, he only has one life — and they hate to see him hurt just as much, if not more, considering how much more danger he's always in:

They would really rather not leave their p'tit Jojo Joris alone with things they know are dangerous, — like Ush, — while Joris is weakened. No matter how much he wants to fight Ush one-on-one.

So, they refuse and even joke about him in the most subtle and funny way: using his own little game to make fun of him, and completely refuse his offer of leaving to rest in Sadida Kingdom, — coupled with an overexaggerated little shrug, and rubbing their statuses as so-called "sons" and "father" in his face.

These three come up with very elaborate rituals to communicate things that take normal people like ten seconds.

[star-dust-no-name]

Cursed Yellow Flowers

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*✩‧₊˚

Murder drones N x reader (one-sided love)

Hanahaki AU + Gender Neutrual Reader

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*✩‧₊˚

You aren't sure when it started to happen, maybe it was all the way back then when you first arrived on Copper 9 with your fellow coworkers, maybe it was when you and N started to form a friendship, or maybe just maybe it was when N told you about his feelings for V.

"YOU CANT BE SERIOUS N"

You said with a surprised tone to your fabricated voice

"R, I am very serious"

"But N, V does nothing but harass and abuse you"

"I know but maybe she does it because we haven't talked much?"

You sighed, N is a pure cinnamon roll, and you couldn't really see V and N working out as a couple.

"I'll help you N but you owe me 2 gallons of oil"

N gasped and, with a huge smile, came running up to you and gave you a big hug before going to the entrance of the shuttle spreading his wings and leaving to get those 2 gallons of oil.

And there was that feeling in your chest again as if something was bothering you as if you were being suffocated from the inside out despite not needing air to survive. You originally thought it might be your clothes you arrived in that were making you uncomfortable or maybe a bug in your system, but then you realized it was N, the feeling in your chest at the beginning when you started to form a friendship with N was warm and cozy and strangely welcoming but then when N started talking about V that feeling slowly starting becoming colder and colder until today when it felt like your chest was about to explode.

You started coughing and coughing, and at first, it was oil coming out from your mouth, and then it was bits of code that you coughed up. It took a while for all the bits of code to come out, but when it finally stopped, you glanced down and saw that the bits of code started forming flowers.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*✩‧₊˚

LOADING INFORMATION ABOUT YELLOW CARNATIONS...

LOADING...

You sighed, according to the text that was currently loading in front of you from your visor. The yellow flowers you coughed up from your code are called yellow carnations. If it wasn't for the infinite amount of information you had stored in your code, you probably would have freaked out by now.

LOADING COMPLETE

Yellow Carnations

Yellow Carnations are beautiful yellow flowers that blossom from late spring to autumn, but don't let their looks fool you as yellow Carnations have a sour meaning behind them, meaning disappointment and rejection which is why they're one of the most common flowers to cough up when someone has Hanahaki disease

You had a confused but curious look on your visor quickly, pulling up the keyboard on your visor again

WHAT IS HANAHAKI DISEASE?

enter

SEARCHING

LOADING COMPLETE

Hanahaki disease

Hanahaki disease is a disease where the victim experiences one sided love or unrequited love, Hanahaki disease can be stopped by either confessing to your crush or by having a special surgery done to remove the flowers however when the surgery is complete you will no longer feel romantic attraction to anyone if the victim does not confess or get a surgery they will die a slow and painful death.

You weren't sure if robots could have hanahaki I mean for you it was just bits of code that formed into flowers and you didn't need air anyways so, would you just forever cough bits of code until your whole coding system was coughed up?

You grimaced at the thought you then went back to the previous information, "disappointment and rejection." The disappointed feeling made sense as you didn't want V and N to become a couple, but rejection? No, it couldn't be...

"R!"

You quickly turned around, ignoring the warmth feeling in your chest as you heard that familiar welcoming and sweet voice.

"Hey N!, I'll go down there in one second"

"OH, no worries, R ill be up there in a jiffy"

You didn't want N to find the flowers, especially since flowers are long since extinct on copper-9. Before N could even fly up there, you came gliding down your legs touching the snow as it crunched beneath you. N quickly gave you a bouquet, but instead of a bouquet full of flowers, it was a bouquet with worker drone arms.

"I got the 2 gallons of oil, but then I also remembered you like to munch on the arms of worker drones, so I got you this bouquet!"

You smiled thanking N.

Maybe for a little while, you can accept that growing warm feeling.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*✩‧₊˚

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*✩‧₊˚

Authors Note: Yall I swear I'm in my returning arc it's just that my depression arc took over two seasons 😰, lmao anyways for right now I'm just going to focus on making masterlists (I come from the stars and the barbatos successor AU) and just focus on updating things and making more content for yall.

-Stardust☆

[lovelyhan]

— daylight ⟢

when hoshi first opened his eyes, the singular impulse hard-wired into his circuitry is to dance. a performer in every sense of the word, he simply finds another stage to set foot on in the planet of salax after the escape. people never overstay their welcome here, but he unexpectedly meets you—a mechanic born and raised in a place where no one deigns to linger for too long.

★ FEATURING; soonyoung x reader

★ WORD COUNT; 9k words

★ TAGS; automaton!hoshi, mechanic!reader, a bunch of stray kids members make appearances bc HA!, mentions of sex work, mutual pining? angst, smut (MINORS DNI)

★ WARNINGS; implied dubious consent (with hoshi and a character that isn't the mc), mentions of terminal illnesses and surgeries

★ NOTES; fun fact! this collab was 9 months in the making and i am cramming this on the very last day of my extension :D very unprofessional of me, but here it is! p.s. little side note that the chan that's constantly mentioned in the fic is bang chan, not lee chan!

this is part of @idyllic-ghost's svt sci-fi collab!

★ SMUT TAGS; robot sex, unprotected sex, first time together, they're just so desperate for each other yk

★ PERMANENT TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @featmia - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv - @shiveringgaze - @toruro - @mixling-blog - @minnie-mouser22 - @homerunhansol - @mirtaspace - @ti--red - @zzucculent - @woozarts - @rubyreduji - @mozellerra - @lllucere - @cheolzip - @jjjzzzz - @lissiesykes - @dearjeonwonwoo - @meowmeowminnie - @colored-confetti - @partiallyinfluencial - @speaknowlwt - @flwrshwa - @lilylikesthat - @aurorahongg - @whippedforjihoon - @todorokiskitten - @immabecreepin - @98-0603 - @peachhiz - @dkswife

★ SOONYOUNG TAGLIST; @ak6ko - @nikkell - @yoonzinoooo

100 years ago it was thought that the Earth, as we know it, would disintegrate. That the sun would implode and leave everything in darkness. Miraculously, it didn’t. Due to some external force, human scientists still haven’t agreed upon what it exactly was, none of the planets in our former solar system were ever destroyed.

The Earth, along with the other planets, were pushed away from each other, and ended up in different parts of the universe. Earth just happened to come to a solar system with alien life. At first, we were cautious, and people were prepared to fight.

However, the aliens were welcoming of our planet. Those of us who didn’t die from ‘The Great Journey’ or from trying to fight the aliens, were welcomed into the new solar system.

Soon enough, we had integrated completely, and we received materials and assistance from our sister-planets in exchange for human labor. What humans knew of technology was very limited, but with the resources of the aliens we created artificial life forms. We named these robots Automatons, and they served as workers when humans couldn’t.

Eventually, there was no need for human labor at all. To pay back for the help the aliens gave us, we used Automatons. With the extensive development of these robots, we eventually managed to create artificial sentient life. These Automatons were human-like in looks and had human consciousness, but they could not bleed and were stronger than we ever could be.

At the present time, there are even different levels of Automatons. Level 3 robots are the workers, level 2 robots are the caretakers, and level 1 robots are the celebrities—

“That’s enough telly for one day, don’tcha think?”

A frown tugs at your lips when you hear the familiar voice of your next-door neighbor who also makes a living out of trading tech junk in exchange for money. Han Jisung is a bit of an oddball—even by your planet’s standards, and everyone knows how strange the dwellers of Salax could be. If he was on Earth, he would’ve been ostracized as a complete loon, but unfortunately the stack of television monitors right outside his shop is your only source of entertainment these days. 

(Which might sound preposterous to some, since Salax is often dubbed as the planet of entertainment. Just not the kind you’re looking for.)

“Why are you even watching a documentary that’s nearly a decade old?” you huff, clutching a bag of tools you bought from the other side of town closer to your chest. “I thought you didn’t give a shit about Automaton celebrities—that Chan’s dancer trinity could outperform any machine?” 

“Now, Giz, no need to be so stingy,” Jisung chuckles and your eye twitches at the condescending nickname. “You know that's not why I’m watching this old thing.”

As if on cue, the only working screen in the sea of television static before you flickers from a scene of breathtaking idol performances to a closeup on a familiar Automaton who’s been burning up the stage since he first opened his eyes.

“Hoshi looked so sparkly when he debuted,” Jisung comments as the documentary continues to play. “Actually, they all did. Makes me wonder why those idols thought it’d be a good idea to break out of their facilities. Weren’t they treated like royalty back on Earth? What’s he doing in a dump like this?”

“Jisung,” you sigh. “Why’d you ask me to come here again?” 

“Oh. Right. I'll bring him into your lab, Giz.”

He calls you Giz because you’re known around these parts as someone who can fix any gadget and gizmo; every robot and Automaton that’s dropped into your care. It just so happens that, with the nature of his business, Jisung is the one who typically directs potential customers your way.

Which is what he’s doing right now. 

“Didn’t he already come in here last week? And the week before that?” Your neighbor grumbles as he helps your mutual friend Minho heft a powered down Automaton on the table in your lab. “It was Hyunjin who brought him the first time. Then Felix. Now you?”

“He’s a bot, what’d you expect?” Minho huffs. “They break down every now and again.”

“You break down every now and again too, but you don’t visit the doctor every week, no?” Jisung quips. “Idol bots really have no business wanderin’ into the galaxy’s red light district when they can’t handle the heat.”

“Jisung, shut up,” you apprehend him sharply, all while getting to work on the Automaton lying on your work table. “I can’t fix anything when you’re running your mouth too close to my ear.”

Your neighbor simply chuckles before patting Minho on the back. “Oh, yeah. You’ve gotta be in your handywoman element and everything. Well, Minho and I are gonna pop open some cold ones from your fridge—”

“No.

“—from my fridge while you work on that dying star over there,” Jisung makes it a point to cast the same robot he’d just been watching a documentary of a pitiful glance. “Seriously though, won’t Chan-hyung just consider selling him to me? Bet this guy’s parts would make a great fortune in the black market.”

“And how are you going to explain that you managed to turn up Hoshi of 53V3NT33N’s body parts without getting arrested?” Minho barks before yanking Jisung by the ear to the entrance of your lab. “Sorry about him, Y/N. He must be a pain in the ass to have as a neighbor.”

"You're a pain in the ass for constantly getting me to fix this guy, too,” you mumble as you start to unbutton Hoshi’s shirt to access the panel concealing the circuitry panel underneath his chest. “I’m all for saving what can still be saved, but maybe Jisung is onto something. Why aren’t you guys just chopping up his parts if he breaks down this often?” 

Jisung nods with a huff. “Can’t be good for business even if he used to be a famous idol, that’s for sure.”

The lab is silent apart from the whir of the machines mounted on your walls, and it’s this sullen atmosphere that makes Minho’s reply have all the more weight to it.

“You guys aren’t dancers. You wouldn’t be able to understand.”

The first time you met rogue idol Automaton Hoshi in his titanium-clad glory was during a rare night when Jisung coaxed you out of your lab to "have real fun for once". Your neighbor is easily one of the most overbearing people you know, so you simply tagged along for the sake of getting him to shut up more than anything else.

But when he droned on and on about this new recruit Minho managed to scour off the streets, you never expected that Jisung would be talking about a bot and not some fledgling dancer with little to his name.

Well, in retrospect, Hoshi is a dancer—a performer, even. Despite his group's intergalactic status as outlaws because of the simultaneous escape stunt they pulled several months ago, not a single soul in Salax wished to report his whereabouts to the concerned authorities.

Where the other bots from 53V3NT33N are, you haven't the slightest clue, but if your planet's natives have widely accepted Hoshi's presence even if he's been here for a month at most, who are you to dictate otherwise?

Passionate. That's the best word you can use to describe the way he dances. All the movements that his body makes are calculated, purposeful. Each roll of his hips, each snap of his limbs, every memorable expression that colors his face—the intensity of Hoshi's performance all bleeds into his passion for the art of dance.

In your many years of tending and tinkering with machines, this is probably the first time you wondered if a bot's creator infused part of his soul into the code. You know of a few Automatons that are being used as entertainers and even escorts for the lecherous visitors of Salax, yet none of them come as close to being human as Hoshi is in your book.

But on that same night, you managed to witness the polar end of the spectrum. The one where Hoshi's fiery passion crumbled into crippling anxiety. 

Automaton malfunctions aren't an uncommon occurrence here. The reason why not many Level 1 bots ever set foot on Salax is because the planet's electromagnetic fields mess with their delicate circuitry and sometimes even tamper with their code.

These Automatons are celebrities—meaning their parts are made out of sleek material to allow ease of movement and rid them of the rigid and bulky framework of infernal bots. But because of the flimsy hardware coupled with the harsh environment, you're not surprised to see an Automaton as intricately crafted as Hoshi break down in the middle of a performance.

He's a mess. The practiced choreography was seemingly wiped out of his programming as he convulsed on-stage, sparks flitting from the seams of his joints. The bar’s manager, Chan, was quick to bark out orders to bring Hoshi off the platform and just let the other dancers cover the rest of the routine. 

You thought the immediate recall of an obviously defected Automaton would mean he was done for. But then again, Salax is a place with little resources to burn. As long as a bot can still do its job, the owner will have it fixed time and time again until its artificial nervous system shuts down for good. 

That’s how Hoshi ended up in your lab the first time. 

There’s a childlike curiosity in his gaze when he wakes up after you check if all his wires are in place and if his code remains uncorrupted. It almost feels like seeing a baby open its eyes for the first time, but you know better than to associate human traits with something that’s anything but. 

“Horanghae,” Hoshi says without any real context as he bares his fingers at you, while Hyunjin, the dancer who brought him here alongside Jisung, groans in contempt.

“That’s the first thing he said when Chan-hyung booted him up too,” he sighs. “Is it like some starting screen sound effect or something? What does that even mean?”

As things stand, you don’t know either. But seeing that Hoshi isn’t glitching anymore makes a wave of relief wash over you in a rather unexpected way. While it isn’t the first time you’ve had to fix a humanoid robot, you don’t work much on machines that grin at you so wide, their eyes disappear.

Then again, there’s always room for firsts.

“Why’d you choose to go here after you escaped?”

You chose to ask Hoshi the question that’s been weighing on your mind despite having little to no reassurance of the ingenuity of his answer. You’re aware that though Automatons—especially Level 1’s—are sentient, you have zero background on their psychological makeup, the thought process behind their decisions, everything but the baseline components of their hardware. 

Hoshi hums for a moment, wincing when you accidentally nick one of the wires directly connected to the nerves on his thigh. “I dunno. I just wanted to dance.”

“Hm. And you thought you’d be able to do that here?” 

He nods as if it was a practiced response. Maybe it is. “Yeah. My old mechanic told me Salax is a place where all sorts of dancers flock together. I kinda wanted to go with Wonwoo when we all escaped, but…I wanted to dance even more.”

Whoever that mechanic was, they must’ve left out the part where your home planet is quite literally a den for one’s deepest, darkest desires. Dancers at clubs are just merely scratching the tip of the iceberg. The depravity of Salax’s denizens and visitors alike goes even further than that, but you suppose it’s not the right time to disillusion such an innocent bot so early in his new career.

After all, Chan’s club might be like any other salacious establishment out there, but from what you know about him through Minho and Jisung, he isn’t the type to just throw a clueless Automaton into becoming a nightly escort. You’ll let Hoshi live out his dream to keep dancing on whatever stage he sets his eyes on—even if that means he’ll start frequenting your lab for regular maintenance checkups.

“Where’s Jisung?” 

The question surprises you a little when Hoshi articulates it while you’re in the middle of tidying up your work table. Normally, he’d be out of the lab once you were done and whichever human dancer is chaperoning him for the day would pay for the services you rendered and they’d be on their merry way back to the main district. 

It’s completely out of character for him to ask questions. You weren’t even aware that he knew Jisung’s name, which makes you wonder…

Does he know yours? You’ve never really introduced yourself to the machines you end up tinkering with on your work table. 

Choosing not to dwell on it, you instead respond with, “Jisung is…at the hospital. He goes there every weekend.”

“Hospital,” Hoshi repeats the word as if it was something he’s only hearing about the first time. “My mechanic had to go to the hospital because she was sick one time. I didn’t see her for a while. Will Jisung be okay? Why is he in the hospital?”

You didn’t think sentient robots would have such a complex sense of self that they’re actually capable of empathy. It makes you stare at Hoshi, who’s staring back at you with a look asking for confirmation, and the unreadable expression on your face melts into soft laughter. 

Your reaction, however, confuses the Automaton a little. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. It’s just amusing for me that you care that much about someone who’s constantly threatening to disassemble your parts and sell them in the intergalactic black market.”

“Well, if he needs them, I don’t mind.”

“If you let Jisung do that, you wouldn’t be able to dance anymore,” you point out before locking your toolbox, casting him a pointed look. “Will you really be alright with that? Not being able to do the thing that brought you here in the first place?”

Hoshi’s face scrunches up for a moment—as if he’s taking his time to actually think about his answer. Another speck of amusement prickles your chest. He has such human mannerisms that if you didn’t constantly see what’s underneath the clothes the bar provides him with, you never would’ve thought he was a bot.

“It would suck, but… Automatons were made to serve the humans around us, weren’t we?” he wonders out loud. “If my purpose is to get chopped up for parts, then I don’t really have any qualms with that.”

“Your purpose was to entertain millions of people across the galaxy as an idol group,” you deadpan. “But here you are in Salax, light years away from the rest of your members. You can cut the moral bullshit, Hoshi. We’re all selfish degenerates here anyway.”

For the first time, his expression twists into a frown. “I’m afraid I don’t understand…?”

“You don’t have to. It’s not that much of a big deal.” You shake your head and at the same time, you hear the sound of someone rapping their knuckles on the door to your lab. “Oh, Felix is already here. Good luck with tonight’s show.” 

“You didn’t answer me.”

You can almost hear the pout in Hoshi’s voice, prompting you to cast him a sidelong glance. “Answer what?”

“Why is Jisung in the hospital?”

You let out your umpteenth sigh of the evening, opening the door to your lab to reveal a dressed-to-kill Felix that smiles and waves at the two of you.

“His older brother is sick and Jisung always goes to the hospital to take care of him on weekends,” you explain as simply as you could. “Does that finally sate your curiosity?” 

It takes him a few moments to process the information he’d just been told, but Hoshi eventually breaks into that familiar, eye-crinkling grin—clearly satisfied with your answer.

“It did. Thank you, Giz.”

Well, that’s not quite your name, but you suppose it’ll do.

For Hoshi’s next checkup, you immediately sense that something’s amiss.

Typically, the Automaton waltzes into your lab and hefts himself on your work table before you can even get a chance to say hello to both him and his assigned chaperone. Today, it’s Minho but unlike last week’s visit, Jisung is here to lighten up the atmosphere in his usual Jisung fashion. 

Though it’s not enough to conceal the obvious discombobulation your patient is currently experiencing.

“You two,” you call out, referring to the only other humans inside the lab. “Can you step out for a while? I’m gonna talk to Hoshi.”

Jisung, of course, is quick to initiate his rapid-fire questions. “What? Why would you need some alone time with a sexy bot, Giz? You’re not becoming one of those deranged mechanics who gets off with their Automatons, right?” 

“Quit yapping and just let her do her job,” Minho scolds before dragging Jisung out of the lab by the wrist. But he doesn’t leave before yelling over his shoulder. “Just call us when you’re done!”

When Minho pulls the door shut and the automatic locks come into place, you turn to Hoshi with an inquisitive look.

“What happened?” 

The question is met with a wince—as if you took out a cigarette and burned his silicone skin with the smoldering edge. Hoshi makes it a point to avoid your eyes, which only further confirms your theory that something is most definitely up.

“I…had my first client the other day.”

Ah.

While you haven’t personally dabbled in the services being offered by the red light district, you’ve been friends with Minho long enough to pick up on the basics. With how much attention Hoshi has been garnering for himself, it was only a matter of time before Chan would let him entertain their club’s regulars in a way that he was probably never taught as an idol.

After all, Level 1s are considered the purest of all the Automaton classes. You’ve always wondered what would happen if they were exposed to activities of the sexual kind, but from the uneasy look on Hoshi’s face, you’re afraid it might not have been a great first time.

“Do you…want to talk about it?” 

It feels a little silly, playing therapist for a literal machine. But the longer you serve as Hoshi’s regular mechanic here on Salax, the more you realize that things would be less stressful if you treated him just like you would treat any other human being out there.

He’s an Automaton—a robot—but because of the groundbreaking discovery of their ability to become sentient several decades ago,  you’re more than inclined to hear him out.

“The other dancers helped me prepare. Chan told me time and time again that I didn’t have to do it if I didn’t want to but…” He starts, voice coming out softer than you’re used to—more reserved. “I wanted to. I wanted to be of use to them. I knew that lots of our customers wished for me to become their escort, so I just repaid Chan’s kindness by doing my job.”

Your lips tug into a grimace. “You don’t look very pleased with the outcome though.”

Hoshi purses his lips and that alone is already an answer.

You don’t pester him any further than that. Instead, you quietly instruct him to take off his shirt and lie on the table like he always does. Hoshi complies surprisingly quickly—following your orders with clockwork precision. He’s in position merely ten seconds after you gave the word.

When you perform your regular examination beneath his chest plate, nothing seems out of turn. Part of you wants to check the circuitry inside his head just to make sure he’s doing alright up there. It’s been a while since Hoshi has been brought here because of a breakdown, so you haven’t bothered inspecting the wires beneath his artificial skull. You wonder if he even wants to—

“It felt good,” your patient tells you all of a sudden, nearly making you drop the tools you’re using to poke around inside his chest cavity. “I didn’t think it was possible for me to even feel that way, but I did.”

Composing yourself, you manage a small nod. “Okay. Did you enjoy it at least?”

“Yeah.”

“Would you want to do it again?”

“...With her? Not really.”

Hoshi falls silent for the next few minutes once more, which affords you all the silence you need to concentrate on what you’re doing. After closing his chest panel and lubricating the screws on his external joints, he was more or less in the clear. But from the way his uncharacteristic silence still persists, you know that he still has a couple more things on his mind.

“I didn’t like the way she said my name.” 

You glance at Hoshi with a quizzical look, implicitly asking him to elaborate, which he thankfully does in a heartbeat.

“When I was still with the rest of 53V3NT33N, the fans would call out my name and it always felt good. It felt euphoric, even,” he reminisces as he sits up on the table, dark eyes trained on the tiled floor. “But with my client…it was the first time I felt unnerved hearing it come from another person’s mouth. It’s like—like she only saw me as a thing to enjoy. Not someone she loves, like our fans love me.” 

The honesty in his words makes your heart sink. 

Turns out, ridding an Automaton of its figurative innocence isn’t so different from that of a real person. The glittering curiosity that’s always been present in Hoshi’s eyes is nowhere to be found and you feel a deep-seated anger pooling in the pit of your stomach at the knowledge.

“Can you give me a new one?”

Blinking the irritation out of your eyes, you stare at him, puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“A new name,” Hoshi says softly. “I never really liked the name Hoshi. Our management just thought it would make for good business to base my image around tigers. What’s more is that this city has already tainted it for me.” 

The bitter laugh that follows his words has your chest aching with an emotion you can’t name. When was the last time you became this sad on a machine’s behalf, you wonder…

“Are you sure?” you murmur. “I’m not your boss or anything. If there’s anyone who has the right to give you a name, wouldn’t it be Chan?”

Hoshi shakes his head. “No. I want it to be you.”

Humans are already hard to figure out, but with each session you share with Hoshi, you learn that Automatons are even more so. He stares at you with such intense desperation in his eyes that you find it difficult to deny him. So, with a deep breath, you say the first name that pops into your head.

“How about...Soonyoung,” you breathe. “You are powerful because of your innocence and glory combined. It’s obvious in how you haven’t tapped out because of that less-than-stellar time with your first client.”

“Soonyoung…” he whispers under his breath, as if testing how the syllables would taste in his mouth. When the corners of his lips twitch into a smile, you know you’ve struck gold. “Did you just invent what the name means or…?”

“That’s for me to keep and for you to find out.” You shrug. “Well? Do you like your new name?” 

“It’s not just my name. It’s yours, too.”

“...That doesn’t really make a lot of sense.”

Soonyoung laughs. “You’re the one who gave it to me. So it belongs to you, too.”

I belong to you too, you can almost hear him say, but erase the idea from your brain before you can get any more silly thoughts. 

“Well, I think we should go. My sensors tell me that someone is very pissed off on the other side and I’m guessing that Jisung must’ve said something that annoyed Minho again.”

“For a robot, you’re pretty adept at picking up on human emotions,” you point out teasingly.

“Of course I am. I always want to appeal to the emotions of those around me, Y/N. Why do you think I dance my heart out every time I’m in the club?”

Oh. 

He does know your name after all.

That evening, you decided to tag along with the boys to the club—grabbing a table for Jisung and yourself as you watched tonight’s lineup of performers. Soonyoung, with his newfound confidence thanks to the name you bestowed upon him, looks just as breathtaking as he was in the prime of his idol years. You wouldn’t have thought he’d just had an unsavory encounter with a client with how brightly he grins at the audience.

He reminds you a little of daylight breaking through the horizon minutes after dawn—almost blinding in his brilliance, but too precious for you to miss out on.

“What’re you doing?” 

Soonyoung sounds a little annoyed when he glances over his shoulder. Your most loyal patient came in alone for the first time in months for his weekly maintenance check-up, but for some reason, his trusted mechanic is much more interested in something else.

You’re still tinkering with a portable hologram projector that wandered into Jisung’s weekly junk stash—one that your neighbor gave to you as a little plaything that’s been taking up most of your morning trying to figure out. 

“Give me a second,” you grumble as you attempt to salvage the inner workings of the worn out thing with a soldering iron. “I’ve only read about these things in books, and my old mentor said they usually contain the final messages of a ship captain whose spacecraft is about to get destroyed.” 

“That’s weirdly specific of you, don’t you think?” Soonyoung huffs. “Come on. I’ve got a client to meet in two hours and Hyunjin’s being really annoying with this new routine he came up with. I need to go back and practice as soon as I’m done here.” 

You let out a quiet laugh before giving up on the hologram projector. “Oh? Time sure flies, doesn’t it? I could’ve sworn you hated taking up clients just yesterday.” 

He whines. “It’s been half a year since I started doing that!”

“Like I said—time flies!”

Your sessions have grown shorter and shorter with each passing week. Every time you fine-tune Soonyoung’s circuitry, you observe that he’s become less prone to internal malfunctions. You didn’t think it was possible for a Level 1 Automaton to fully adapt to the frequency of the electromagnetic waves in Salax, but Soonyoung has surprised you time and time again. 

Now, he can go on for weeks without powering down to regain his energy. He’s as good as any dancer—both human and robot—can be, and you honestly consider telling him that he doesn’t really have to come in for his weekly check-ups anymore.

Soonyoung, however, doesn’t seem thrilled with the news. 

“What do you mean I don’t have to come here anymore?” He pouts.

“There’s nothing left for me to check, big guy,” you sigh as you seal his chest panel back up. “You’ve been stable for months now. I don’t even charge Chan for your check-ups anymore since everything is relatively normal.”

“But if I don’t get any check-ups, can I still come here?”

You make a face at him. “What for?”

“To hang out! Minho and Jisung do it all the time. Although Jisung always barges into the club uninvited and we have to stop Minho from beating him up…”

His invite perplexes you more than it flatters you because… You’ve never encountered any cases where an Automaton would willingly go out of its way to spend time with a human that doesn’t hold any sort of authority over it. 

They’re sentient, yes, but at the end of the day, those emotions that others trick themselves into believing that bots can feel are just a clever arrangement of ones and zeros. It’s easy to lose oneself into one’s own delusions when in need of a little company, but you know that you aren’t that desperate for companionship. 

It’s always just been you and the bots and other machines you fix for a living. Well, maybe Minho and Jisung when they’re not busy trying to piss each other off. You don’t need to hang out with Soonyoung. 

And yet…

“Fine,” you relent with little resistance, feigning nonchalance by fluttering back to the projector you’ve been trying to salvage. “Just don’t make too much of a racket or I’ll kick you out.”

Soonyoung beams at your agreement, tugging his shirt back on before shuffling towards you and embracing you from behind. The suddenness of the gesture obviously catches you by surprise. You nearly drop the portable holo projector, but Soonyoung’s reaction time is quite phenomenal. 

“Hey, don’t drop it. It’s already been through a lot.” 

Still unnerved by the feel of his beefy, synthetic arms wrapped around your frame, you glance at him warily. “You talk like it’s some sentient creature.”

“It is! Well, by some degree, I guess,” Soonyoung chuckles before flipping the thing over in his hand. “Machines are just like people too. If you listen close enough, you can hear what they want to tell you.”

“Uh-huh,” you drawl before disentangling yourself from his embrace before you could implode from embarrassment. If he notices just how flustered you are, he doesn’t show it. “What’s this thing trying to tell you then?”

“Its creator hid the switch inside the motherboard, but you’re damaging it with a soldering iron. You just need to look for it harder.” Soonyoung hands the gadget back to you with a warm smile. “Well, I’ve gotta go now. Hopefully, when I go hang out with you, that thing will already be fixed.” 

Soonyoung prances out of the lab with a skip to his step before you can even give your own input. When you hear the front door of your house click shut, you grab your toolbox with a withering sigh before trying a different approach to your current predicament.

To your chagrin, it’s just as Soonyoung said—the switch was hidden somewhere beneath the motherboard and you were able to witness a space cadet’s last five minutes of life. 

He talked about how much he missed home, how he wished he just died on Earth instead of being launched into space after the implosion of the sun of the first solar system. Then, he left a message for a woman that used to be his childhood sweetheart—saying that it was only a matter of time before they were reunited. Before you can glean any more information about the cadet, the feed was cut off and hologram flickered out. 

The entire experience leaves you dumbfounded for about five minutes. A hologram from over a hundred years ago just wound up in Jisung’s junk stash. What are the odds?

“Giz? Are you in here?”

Speaking of Jisung, the devil himself weasels his way into your lab just when you’re done tidying up your little experiment for today. You’re just about to tell him what you saw in the holo projector, but the look on his face makes you pause.

The cheerful, pain-in-the-ass neighbor of yours seems a little…exhausted. There are dark circles beneath his eyes, and his cheeks look a bit thinner than you remember. Jisung is the kind of person that rarely lets the things that bother him show on his face, so you’re a little concerned to see him in such a state right now.

“Jisung, what’s wrong?” 

He doesn’t even hesitate. “It’s Jieun… He’s—He needs a heart transplant. If he doesn’t get a replacement in eight weeks, he’ll die. I can’t handle that, Y/N. I can’t lose him. He’s the only family I’ve got left…”

You panic internally somewhat when Jisung starts rambling in front of you, tears streaking his face as the man who you thought was always a step ahead of everybody starts to crumble before you. You’re not expert in consoling people who direly need it, but you’re at least rational enough to lead him out of your stuffy lab and back to the comfort of your living room.

There, you give Jisung a glass of water and several minutes to catch his breath.

Once he calms down, he speaks.

“I’ve already outsourced a compatible donor,” he murmurs. “It should all be in the clear now, but the problem right now is money. The shitty healthcare system on this planet won’t greenlight any transplants unless everything is paid in full. I-I can’t come up with the money they want from me in less than two months.”

Fuck. He’s in a tight spot then. “Oh, Jisung…”

“But I’ve thought of a way that might work if you help me.”

You flash him a confused look. “What do you mean?”

Jisung’s throat bobs before letting out a shuddering breath. You only notice how bloodshot his eyes are when he leans closer to tell you about his so-called plan.

“Some intergalactic guards have been spotted around the main district lately. Word from the street is that they’re still searching for the other members of that idol group that escaped Earth and that a generous reward would be given to everyone who’ll cooperate,” he whispers conspiratorially, and from those few sentences alone, you’re already dreading what he’s planning. “If I lead them to Hoshi, I should be able to raise enough money for Jieun’s surgery. Enough that I can even split the reward between the two of us!”

“No,” you tell him sharply. “You’re not going to sell out Soo—Hoshi like that. He practically lives here already.”

“He’s just a fucking bot, Giz,” Jisung snaps. “The worst they’ll do if they catch him is give him time out for a few days until he’s back to being the idol that everyone knows and loves. If I don’t get the money I need for my brother’s transplant, he’s going to die.”

You hold Jisung’s intense stare despite not having a good enough comeback. He’s right. Soonyoung isn’t even supposed to be here at all. And if surrendering him to the cops meant Jisung would have the means to help his brother survive, the only logical thing to do is give him a hand.

But then you remember the way Soonyoung’s eyes disappear behind the widest of grins whenever he’s enjoying himself. How he trusted you enough to confide in his troubles during his first client booking, the way his eyes sparkled when you first called him Soonyoung—

It’s not just my name. It’s yours, too.

“I can’t help you, Jisung,” you murmur. “If you’re going to go about the situation like this, I can’t help you. I’m sorry.”

Your neighbor and long-time friend nods once, twice before getting up from your couch. Guilt bites into your chest as Jisung leads himself to the front door, and you could’ve sworn your heart sank into your stomach when he closes it behind him.

In the ear-splitting silence, you wonder if there’s any way to save someone without sacrificing anybody else.

While it’s true that you’ve never taken up the type of entertainment that Salax is famous for, that doesn’t mean you’re completely unaware of what goes on during those sorts of transactions.

Despite himself, Minho can be a bit of a chatterbox especially when he’s had one drink too many. There was a time when he told you about how he was booked for the night by a married couple and they edged him until he was in tears on the mattress. Then, he proceeded to share that he was quite literally incapacitated for days because the wife had exceptional skill with her strap-ons. 

You don’t really hear these kinds of stories from Soonyoung. The possible reasons are 1.) Automatons don’t have a sense of gossip and see no benefit in sharing the gritty details of their sex lives, and 2.) He just doesn’t see you as someone worth telling said gritty details about.

The second possibility gnaws at you more than it should. You don’t really care about Soonyoung’s nightly escapades. You’re just his mechanic. As long as he doesn’t fuck himself up like he used to when he first started working at the club, you’ll have no complaints.

But after a late-night grocery store run, you unknowingly run into Soonyoung and someone who you presume to be one of his clients. They’re right outside the building of Chan’s club, and Soonyoung is obviously romancing the woman who paid for his company that night by caging her against the wall, whispering something in her ear with a sordid smirk.

You’ve never seen him like this. Whenever he’s with you, Soonyoung’s all too-wide smiles and unprovoked hugs. The more he hangs out with you during his free time, the more difficult it is for you to picture him as that seductive dancer that has charmed everyone who’s anyone on Salax.

Part of you—an irrational part of you—wants to hide him away from the rest of the world. But then you remember you’re just his mechanic and that it would be weird to be feeling this way about an Automaton, of all things.

You manage to brush off the scene you witnessed for a few weeks. Soonyoung still shows up at your house to watch a few movies or help you fix some other bots that come into the shop. He’s excellent company because his robot-to-robot communication skills make your job easier than it used to be.

Until one night, he snuggles up to you on the couch a little too closely—your heart beating a little too fast at the close proximity.

“I don’t get why she has to give up her tail for a man,” he murmurs from where his chin is propped on top of your shoulder, pulling you closer to him whether he knows it or not. “Aren’t there any other mermen that Ariel could just get with?”

“That’s what makes the story interesting, Soonie,” you chuckle, trying not to melt in his embrace despite knowing that the heat of his body is all artificial. “She’s sacrificing everything for love. It’s all part of the human experience.”

Soonyoung scoffs at that. “But Ariel’s a mermaid.” 

“Just shut up and watch the movie.”

Ever the obedient bot, your current company does as he’s told until the credits start rolling and you have to get up to rid yourself of a crick in your neck. You’ve been in the same position for over two hours, having forgotten that Automatons don’t need to move around to get comfortable in their seats. Oversight on your part, really.

But before you can even attempt to crawl out of Soonyoung’s secure embrace, he tugs you back down—forcing you to face him with a puzzled expression.

“I’m gonna get some water,” you tell him. “Let me go, clingy robot.”

He doesn’t budge. Soonyoung simply pins you in place with his firm grip and the heat of his stare, and it takes you a few moments to realize that he’s looking at you the same way he looked at that woman outside of Chan’s club a few nights ago.

“You saw me while I was working, didn’t you?” he murmurs. “I’m sorry.”

You swallow thickly. “W-Why are you apologizing?”

“Because I accidentally introduced myself with the name you gave me,” Soonyoung sighs, lower lip swelling into a pout. “I always go by Hoshi at work, but we’d just finished watching Pocahontas together before I timed in that night.”

“Soonyoung,” you address him warily, unsure of where you should place yourself in this situation. “What are you going on about? That name is yours.”

“And I told you that it’s yours as well, didn’t I?” His laughter is a soft noise that tickles the back of your neck, making gooseflesh prickle the skin of your arms. 

“I’m yours.”

His words make a steady buzz resound in your head, making you second guess if any of this is even real. Did you drink too many pints of beer and are currently hallucinating a Soonyoung that might feel the same way you do about him? That’s not right. Jisung already emptied your fridge of alcoholic beverages months ago and you haven’t bought any new packs since.

But if you’re not intoxicated, why in the world is an Automaton speaking to you as if he’s confessing feelings he doesn’t even have?

“You’re just hung up on the movie, you bucket of bolts,” you grumble, trying to push him off of you to no avail. Fuck. This is all very much real then. “Soonyoung, I’m not playing around.”

“Neither am I,” he whispers. When he leans closer, you don’t feel his breath on your face, don’t hear his heart thundering in his chest because he isn’t human. 

He isn’t human, yet why doesn’t that stop you from wanting him anyway?

“Tell me to get up and leave if you want me to stop,” Soonyoung proposes with a dangerous look in his eyes. “Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll leave you alone for good.”

You want him—you want him so fucking bad, it feels like a disease.

“Why’re you only coming for me with this now?” you whisper. “What prompted it?”

The handsome Automaton laughs quietly, caressing your face so delicately, you wonder if he learned to practice it from the countless clients he’s entertained. “I think I’ve always been a little attached to you since I first woke up after breaking down. You’re the one who cured my anxiety, Y/N. It’s only natural for me to feel drawn to you.”

“You’re avoiding the question.” 

“Heh. Fine. Maybe it’s because Ariel inspired me to be a little more like her—to sacrifice everything love.”

…Love? 

Soonyoung loves you? 

It doesn’t make sense. He isn’t supposed to love. Automatons are sentient, but they aren’t capable of a full spectrum of emotions. The mere prospect of it goes against everything you’ve been taught ever since you decided that you wanted to become a mechanic.

But from the way Soonyoung is looking at you alone, you remind yourself that every now and again, there are outliers to all the facts printed on every Automaton textbook you’ve buried your nose in. 

Rationality is your enemy at this point, and you toss all of it to the wind when you yank the front of Soonyoung’s shirt—mending your lips into a kiss that shouldn’t feel as good as it does. His mouth is soft on top of yours, and he moves to the cadence you’ve set so languidly, it almost feels fluid. You gasp into his mouth when Soonyoung curls an arm around your waist, pressing you as close to him as humanly possible.

“Soonyoung,” you whisper. “Want you.” 

He pulls away for a second—not even looking a fraction of how disheveled you are from a single kiss. “Are you sure?” 

The concern in his tone sends a rush straight through your skull. What kind of algorithm allows for an Automaton to express that kind of emotion on its own accord? Are the other idols that escaped with him the same way? You find out that you don’t really know the answers to these questions right now—nor do you want to know.

What you want is for him to be so deep inside you, you’ll feel him for days.

You yank him down for another kiss all while you desperately rid yourself of your once-comfortable and now-stifling clothes. They come off one by one until they’re but a heap on the floor and Soonyoung has the gall to chuckle at your impatience.

“If you wanted me this much, you should’ve just told me sooner,” he whispers, peppering your face with featherlight kisses. “I think I’ve had enough practice to be a good enough lover for you.”

“Mention that so-called practice again and I’ll deactivate your nervous system,” you growl and Soonyoung responds by trailing his mouth across your neck—suckling at the skin above your pulse with a conniving grin. 

Just like any other humanoid Level 1, Soonyoung is soft in all places humans should be. His lips, his skin—everything. While the physics that surrounded an Automaton’s male genitalia are out of your scope of expertise, it’s infinitesimally interesting to know that their cocks work the exact same way as a human’s. Even if there’s no blood coursing through his non-existent veins, Soonyoung still gets hard with just the right stimulus. 

That stimulus being the swell of your breasts because he hasn’t parted from them since he started suckling on the sensitive flesh five minutes ago.

“Soonie,” you whimper, grinding your sopping core against his thigh. “More. Give me more.”

He laughs—a breathless little sound before his gaze flickers up to you so lovingly, it almost hurts. “I thought I was the impatient one between the two of us.”

“Just shut up and fuck me, please.” 

The raw desire in your plea makes the smile disappear from his face. When Soonyoung presses his forehead against yours, his gaze sears into your own so intensely, you’ll still be able to see him with your eyes closed.

“I never thought I’d ever get to hear you beg for me,” he admits, adjusting himself on the couch for your comfort. “I want to hear it again.”

Your Automaton lover doesn’t give you any forewarning that he’ll be pushing the head of his cock inside you. You’re simply greeted by the welcome intrusion of him parting your slick walls—little to no preparation needed because of how much you’re dripping onto the cushions. Soonyoung hisses between his teeth, a ravenous look that you’ve never seen sitting on his face, which has you clamping down deliciously against his length.

“Do you feel it?” he murmurs, sinking inch by fucking inch into you. “Do you feel me inside you?”

You feel him everywhere. All of your senses are overloaded with him, him, him. Right now, he isn’t Hoshi from 53V3NT33N or Hoshi, the rising star of the red light district.

He’s Soonyoung. Your precious, irreplaceable Soonyoung.

“Yes,” you moan out loud, fucking your hips back onto his to generate the friction you so direly needed. “Deeper, Soonyoung. Want you deeper.”

And he gives you just that. 

Soonyoung pistons his hips with practiced ease, not a single pant to be heard from him as his cock plunges in and out of your wet heat. You pull him into your embrace like you’re afraid he’ll disappear if you don’t hold onto him tightly enough and your lover quickly picks up on the message—wrapping his strong arms around you as he mercilessly pounds you into the sofa.

Every word you know eludes you as the mind-numbing pleasure frazzles your brain. You can’t even articulate how good it feels to have him ram into you like he wants to leave his mark inside your body forever. You’ve never had sex this toe-curling, and it’s a little pitiful to make that discovery when the one who’s fucking you to an inch of your life isn’t even human.

But that’s what makes it feel right in the midst of its wrongness. 

When you come apart on his cock the first time, it makes you wonder if that’s what it feels like to fall from grace. The creeping high leading up to your release as you free-fall into oblivion should’ve been daunting, but all that sings in your veins is pure ecstasy as Soonyoung fucks you through your orgasm. 

He leans down to capture your lips, devouring your mouth in a way that only means he’s staking his claim. It’s a kiss that bruises—a kiss that persists. And you barely hear yourself scream his name into his mouth when you finally come down from bliss.

Just when you thought you could finally let yourself breathe, Soonyoung gently turns you around on the couch—forcing your back into an arch as he props you up by the knees. Still disoriented from your last orgasm, you don’t immediately process what he’s trying to do until you feel the hardness of his cock nudging against the ridge of your ass.

That’s when you remember that Automatons do not get tired. 

Fuck.

“You better be ready for me,” Soonyoung chuckles into your ear before pressing a soft kiss to your temple. 

“If you want me, you’re getting all of me.”

In the aftermath, you let yourself look at Soonyoung even with your eyes streaked with tears. He’s smiling at you like you’re the most precious thing in all the galaxies combined and you’re too fucked out to not melt into his embrace when he engulfs you in the heat of his arms.

You love him, you think. 

Loving a machine that shouldn’t be capable of love is contradictory in every sense of the word. He’s a complete softie whenever he hangs out with you, but would pass as a predator when he’s with his clients. He’s a bot that loves to dance, but would give that up in a heartbeat if others needed him for another purpose. 

Then again the lines have started to blur considerably since Soonyoung started fucking you into incoherence. Pain and pleasure, human and not human, love and lust—

“I love you,” you murmur, only half conscious as Soonyoung carries you to your bed. “Soonyoung, I love you…”

A soft laugh rumbles deep in his chest as he tucks you in—replacing the warmth of his body with the comfort of your blanket. You frown at the sudden change, but he’s tired you out too much for you to hold up any sort of protest. 

As he stands before the doorway, you manage to wrench your eyes open just a tad—enough to see the ray of sunshine standing before you with a loving look on his face. He even does that little pose with his fingers clenched like a tiger’s claws—the one he did when he opened his eyes after you managed to fix him the first time.

Horanghae… That’s what he called it, right?

You’re too exhausted to notice the pained undertones that lurk beneath Soonyoung’s smile, but perhaps it’s something that you can deal with once morning comes. 

If he’s still there at all.

“That took you a while.”

Jisung’s voice is clipped when Soonyoung emerges from your house with an indifferent look on his face. Standing right behind him are a bunch of familiar faces—namely 53V3NT33N’s main manager along with a handful of guards that used to keep them tightly locked up back in their main facility on Earth.

He never thought he’d have to see them again.

“If I’m leaving this place for good, I’m not going to go without giving her something to remember me by,” Soonyoung grumbles, hands shoved into the pockets of his sweats as he rejoins his former colleagues. “Is it true? You’ll give Jisung enough money for his brother’s transplant if I come back?”

His manager nods once. “Positive. The reward money will be doubled since you returned without resistance. But I cannot guarantee the degree of the punishment you’ll be facing because of your escape.” 

Right. Of course there’ll be consequences for his own actions. But Soonyoung is just glad that he got to have you at least once in his robotic life before he has to turn himself back in.

“Jisung,” Soonyoung—no, Hoshi calls out. “Can you promise to take care of her? If you don’t, I’ll personally fly back here to kill you with my own two hands.”

“Hoshi,” one of the guards grunts behind him, shoving his back with a warning glare. “No violence. Even minor threats like that will make your sentence even heavier.”

He doesn’t care. Not really.

“Just give the man his money and let’s go,” he grumbles, forcing himself to turn away from the direction of your house before his code malfunctions and he ends up bolting back inside. 

His manager nods before one of the assistants presents Jisung with a suitcase full of enough wads of cash to fund his brother’s surgery and more. There’s a look on your neighbor’s face that Hoshi can only identify as regret, but there’s really no use for that now.

Even if Jisung didn’t need the money from turning over a rogue Automaton, Hoshi still would’ve surrendered eventually. When word got around that his hunters had finally tracked him down to Salax, he already knew his days were numbered. 

But despite knowing all that, it doesn't stop him from wishing he had more time.

When daylight comes and the sun lights up the darkness of your room, you squint at how bright it shines even through the curtains. You’re sore all over and it only takes a single glance at your body to realize that maybe having multiple rounds of sex with a tireless Automaton wasn’t one of the best choices you’ve made in your life. 

That, and you’re going to have to give Soonyoung a very long lecture about the physiological differences between his body and yours. And that leaving without waking you up is a major foul when it comes to sleeping with someone you care about.

Right after freshening up and soothing every bit of tender flesh, you go about your day like usual—doing chores, checking if Jisung is home (he’s not), and holing yourself up in your lab to work on a few projects you’ve been procrastinating long enough. 

But just when you’re about to bust open your toolbox, you notice a familiar gadget sitting on top of your work table. The same work table that you could’ve sworn you made sure to clear out the previous evening.

It’s another portable hologram projector—one that looks exactly like the old artifact you managed to revive thanks to Soonyoung’s intervention. This one looks less shabby than the one Jisung gave you back then, and you realize that there’s a note stuck to the bottom.

The switch is right beneath the motherboard. Don’t forget! - S

Huh. That guy had the time to put together a hologram for you, but he couldn’t be bothered to wake you up before he left? The nerve of some Automatons, really…

None the wiser about your newfound lover’s actual whereabouts, you followed the instructions Soonyoung whispered into your ear several months ago before letting it play.

⟢ end notes: yay you're at the end of it! thank you so much for reading <3 thank you so so much to bee for being big-brained enough to put this collab together. i've always wanted to 1.) write a sci-fi fic and 2.) write more for soonyoung so this opportunity was a good avenue for both <3 i'm just bummed bc i procrastinated this for too long and kind of ended up with a subpar fic, but !! i still kinda enjoyed building the world around soonyoung and yn and their friends :') in another life, i would've fleshed this out properly, but for now, i'll leave you all with this! do check out the other fics in the collab bc it will definitely expand on this massive universe that we all worked hard to put together <3

this is part of @idyllic-ghost's svt sci-fi collab!

[charlie-pippin-faraday]

i've reached the investigation portion of danganronpa v3 chapter 2, which is the last point to which i had watched youtube content and thus everything beyond will be new to me. my chapter 2 commentary thus far:

kaito really just decided that he and shuichi were going to be best friends and shuichi didn't have any choice in the matter lol

nobody needed to tell me that kaito was the one incessantly ringing my doorbell, i knew it was him lol

i have been referring to tenko, himiko, and angie as "the girlies" and i am 100% confident that every single one of them is going to die before this game is over

lmao shuichi asking himiko "how have you survived this long?" same bro i also wonder this about her

kaito threatening to slug kokichi and then kokichi literally bolting out of the room is the realest thing that has happened in this game so far

i've made a habit of clicking on ALL the characters every free time to see if they have any fun dialogue before i choose who i actually spend free time with. on i think the first free time slot in chapter 2 i went to kokichi who said something about being scared that kaito had caught up to him because he was afraid he was gonna slug him (or something along those lines), and then when i talked to kaito he immediately said "you seen kokichi around anywhere?" implying he had indeed been looking for him to deliver said slugging. made me laugh my fucking ASS off

by sheer dumb luck, i had gotten the parasol from the monomono machine in chapter 1, so i was able to talk to tenko before doing the flashback light scene in the gym and unknowingly unlock what i later found out was one of the secret scenes (and let me tell you i was delighted by this development and that it happened naturally). and thus i was able to witness ~the girlies and keebo at the pool~. subsequently, i have SO many questions lol. tenko kind of implied that she kind of wanted just to hang with himiko, and angie was probably there because himiko invited her and tenko can't say no to himiko, but why did tenko invite keebo? lmao tenko you're such a hot mess

during the free time session i was planning on hanging with kaito first, but then i spoke to keebo and he asked so vulnerably "shuichi if you have free time would you like to spend it with me? there's something i want to ask you" and i changed my plans SO fast i would die for you keebo

"maybe someone like miu would appreciate his mechanics" shuichi you're not trying to play matchmaker are you?

lmao there was a stark difference in shuichi's reactions to that day's free time events with keebo and with kaito, both of which involved them talking about their skills/stuff they'd learned. about keebo, shuichi said "okay...he's weird and i don't understand him." about kaito, shuichi said "wow, kaito's incredible!" these were incredibly similar interactions. lol okay tell me how you really feel shuichi. you can't tell me he doesn't have at least a little bit of a crush on kaito

hm a "gyoza in the shape of a face - a dumpling that's modeled after someone you swear you've seen somewhere before." hm gee i wonder who that could be. (definitely doesn't look like makoto naegi or anything. haunting the narrative much?)

the fact that korekiyo was definitely in the top half of most reasonable people i spoke to in this chapter is a sign that the world has been flipped upside down

every one of these games has had one weird, obsessive, one-sided, and likely ill-fated romance, and i knew this time it would be tenko's weird thing for himiko. i can't believe i'm saying this but i feel a little bad for tenko. a little, at least. i get the feeling i won't be feeling bad for her in the future. for whatever reason, i get the sinking feeling that in a future chapter this obsession with himiko and her jealousy over himiko spending time with angie is going to end with tenko snapping and someone ending up dead

actually why is everyone obsessed with himiko? tenko claims to care for her and wants to support her and believe in her magic, and she definitely wants to get in her pants, and angie also wants to be friends with her and has successfully brainwashed her to her atua cult and convinced her to put on a dangerous magic show. and like, why? himiko is not that cool, she's lame and pathetic. she eats termites on accident, can barely go to the bathroom by herself, and is super fucking lazy and uncooperative. i get that she's afraid/sad and is susceptible to brainwashing (she's not the only one here easily manipulated *cough cough* gonta), that part's understandable and i'll give her a pass, but like what is she bringing to the table? i don't get why all the girlies are obsessed with her. i'm with shuichi on the "how did you survive this long?" train of thought. i'm torn between "tenko you deserve better" and "all 3 of you toxic girlies fucking deserve each other"

definitely my favorite event thus far has been miu and da boyz clowning on kaito in the casino. true teenage bonding experience. (and i mean da boyz literally, all the boys who were alive were present except gonta and keebo, who is only debatably a boy.)

"i guess you can't underestimate luck" you did it, you boiled down the entire character of makoto naegi to one sentence

but fr tho every time someone utters the word "luck," "hope," or "despair" in danganronpa games i feel myself suddenly at FULL attention, like those words aren't there by accident, there's always hidden meaning there. and i am once again wondering at the lore/secret behind this particular game, i still don't know what it is

immediately after this casino event is when i finally spent free time with miu. it was the first time i'd approached her as shuichi and she didn't threaten me. and she was even in the casino when i approached her! where we'd already spent time together clowning on kaito! so it was perfect timing

speaking of miu, she needs to get laid SO bad. maybe she'd chill out. like she acts like she's had a bunch of sex but given how much she talks about it there's no fucking way she's gotten laid, she's absolutely projecting her insecurities. someone nail this girl please it's what she needs and tbh it's what we all need. side note: kiyo telling her to stfu in the casino was fucking hilarious lol

question do the friendship fragments not carry over from kaede to shuichi? i had updated report cards from hanging with gonta, keebo, and maki as kaede, but they're not there anymore. do i not get to keep the friendship fragments that i earned from them?

another question, was i just not allowed to hang out with maki in chapter 2? every time i approached her during free time she fucking threatened me. did i the player do something to lock her out or is that simply not allowed?

bro tenko is gonna fucking lose her mind. i approached her in i think the last free time and she was just muttering himiko's name over and over again, big yikes. and then "my saliva makes injuries heal faster can i spit on you" girl what???

i think tenko needs to move on, perhaps to one of the other girls. miu, perhaps? if they could fuck i think this would solve some problems for both of them

in the bug room, kokichi said something about a "mean" difficulty and not being a coward in the killing game and i felt so called out lol, because i have all the trial action set to be as easy as possible lmaooo

keebo my beloved saved the day in the bug room and got the first major non-verbal victory in the keebo vs. kokichi war. i'm proud of him, but this will definitely not be the last of it

i do wonder what "snafu" kokichi was referring to when he was running around that caused him to be late returning to the bug room. they never addressed that, and i hope they get to it during the trial

bro did kokichi get rabies or something???? right before the magic show, gonta said kokichi wasn't there because in the bug room his mouth bubbled and then he passed out lmaooooooooooo

what were kaito and maki up to this entire time? making out? aside from ryoma, they were the only ones who were absent from both the bug room and the magic show. miu and kirumi weren't in the bug room, and kokichi wasn't at the magic show and left the bug room for a portion of time, but those two were nowhere to be seen for any portion of both events. i need some answers

noooo don't use keebo as a battering ram!!! that's so rude!!! kokichi definitely won that particular battle in the keebo vs. kokichi war, and we are nowhere near over. i want to see where this rivalry goes, 'cause tbh i think it's secretly the most tense one here

bro i hate himiko uuuuuugggghhhhh. "we need you to tell us how your trick worked so we can figure out how the culprit killed ryoma." "i can't tell you, i did it with my magic and that's the only answer you're getting" god shut the fuck up you're annoying and unhelpful and you never listen and you're actively getting in the way i want one of these dudes to punch you

i have some HEAVY suspicions about who i think is the culprit. and tbh i've held these suspicions since before i even played the game, back when i just watched some youtube content up to this murder. i don't know what will happen from this point forward, but if i'm right about who i think did it, i am gonna be SO stoked about it

[zombiethingy]

if someone feels like helping me with a steddie fic, I think I could really use it

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[moldy-flowers]

Naruto au where Jiriya comes back to Konoha to adopt Naruto like he promised to do but somewhere along the way they get Tsunade back in the village and Tsunade becomes Sasukes caretaker (She adopts him but neither are comfortable calling eachother mother and son yet so they stick with "The Lady in my house who cooks bad" and "the brat who doesn't appreciate good meals when he sees them")

Then at some point when Naruto and Sasuke are genins Jiriya and Tsunade get married and now Naruto and Sasuke have to live together. There's a really emotional scene of Sasuke having to say goodbye to his old home and its like "oh god its really all over they're not coming back I'm not coming back I can't just leave them behind I need to let go but I just can't do it" and Tsunade calls Sasuke her son for the first time and he totally doesn't cry!!!

Forest of death but Sasuke Sakura and Naruto already know who Orochimaru is, Sasuke knows absolutely not to trust him so the curse mark doesn't really affect him too horribly but it does lead for a lot of tension in the group. Also after being the girlboss she was born to be Sakura decides she can't be protected anymore and bc Tsunade is like, right there she asks her if she can be trained and Tsunade says yes obv. Hiruzen dies purely because i hate that guy but Orochimaru also dies to Jiriya and Tsunade also because I really really hate him too.

Theres the time when Kisame and Itachi visit Konoha and Itachi hears Naruto refer to Tsunade as his mom and Sasuke as his brother and hes GOT to know what's going on so he spies on them and learns that Sasukes been adopted but he sees this moment of Tsunade announcing she's pregnant (what a shocker she was 🤏 that close to never having to worry about pregnancy ever again but Jiriya just couldn't keep it in his pants for another 2 years, the manwhore.) And itachi sees Sasuke realising he's gonna be an older brother and being super happy about it saying he's gonna be the best big brother ever (Hades hangs his laundry on the bar its so low all he's gotta do is not kill everyone and he's already better than Itachi) and Itachi is like "ah man but how's he gonna get stronger there's no hatred in there i need him to do my suicide for me!!!" But Jiriya noticed he was there and confronts him a little later but see Jiriyas a little smarty pants and has been living in Konoha for years and always knew there was something fishy with the massacre and danzo so Jiriya just bluffs his way to the truth (Phoenix is that you?) And he's like "look Sasukes ur brother but he's my son now, he has enough nightmares and enough trauma and enough trust issues to last him a lifetime feck off and if you wanna die so bad then kill yourself and don't use your brother as a tool for ur suicide" <- I may be projecting a bit but ANYWAYS Itachi and Kisame have to leave Konoha bc Naruto is under watch by Kakashi, Tsunade and Jiriya and they are NAWT winning that fight.

Skip to shippuden era Sasuke v/ Itachi fight but Itachis been skipping out on his meds!! (He did it because he's a nerd loser guy who thinks "oh man sasuke isn't angry or filled with hatred and overall living a really terrible and unfufilling life he's probably so weak i need to stoop down to his level") Oh no so hes really super sick and Sasuke has picked up a lot from Tsunade so he knows Itachis time is near and although Sasuke really wants Itachi dead he's like "fuck it, dude you absolutely ruined my life and gave me trauma I'm never ever going to recover from sometimes I still wonder if my friends or family are going to turn around and kill me do you know how fucked that is why the hell did you even do that I don't want some bullshit excuse tell me" like he absolutely chews that loser (derogatory) out and Itachi is like, "kk ill tell u everything" and Sasuke is RUINED and he takes like a long 30 minutes of silence between the two just sitting there for Sasuke to go like "Itachi, I don't... think I forgive you. But I understand why you did it. I would have done it too" And its very emotional!! That moment is all Itachi needs bc he was sort of barely clinging onto life as it is and now that he's got peace he can finally die and they share a really sweet moment before he goes :(

And when Sasuke gets home and cries, (this time he can admit it cause he's a big boy now and understands it's okay to feel) to Tsunade he calls her his mother for the first time and its so ahaishahabnabsjsjnd

Anyways they all lived happily ever after the end no wars no nothing all over bye bye

[emeritusemeritus]

Just wanna bewitch you in the moonlight. Pt 12.

[Fred Weasley x reader x George Weasley]

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Title: Just wanna bewitch you in the moonlight.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley

Timeline: Predominately set between GOF and OOTP (some canon has been altered to fit the story)

Summary: Both twins like Gryffindor!reader. Reader likes both twins. How will she decide who to chose in the end? Amortentia might be able to help, or not.

Warnings: Smut, oral sex, p in v sex, established relationships, threesomes, friends to lovers, all the good stuff. NO Twincest. Mentions of illness, Brief mentions of vomiting. Tiny bit of angst, possessiveness, talk of kids. Mentions of dominant behaviour. Snape has a soft spot for reader. Love potions? But none are actually used. Threesomes but again NO Twincest. Cormac Mclaggen, because he needs his own warning. Not beta-read nor spell checked, we die like Sirius ❤️

The final chapter 🤍

Monday morning came too quickly, you thought, as you gathered your usual potions books and went down to breakfast with your friends, meeting Hermione down in the common room so you could go together. Last night was the first night you'd spent alone all week and you struggled to sleep without the two familiar bodies beside you, tossing and turning for most of the night struggling to get comfy.

They weren't at breakfast that morning and Ron, digging into his third course of breakfast had let you know that they were doing an early morning quidditch practice with the whole team to make up for the lost week, hence half of your group being missing at breakfast.

You made your way to the potions classroom alone having missed Katie in the hall, stopping briefly as you stepped off of the stairs hearing your name called out. It was Cormac Mclaggen, sprinting down the stairs to catch up with you. You inwardly groaned, not prepared for his ego this early in the morning. Truth was he was always pleasant to you but you found his company boring and stifling, the conversation never quite drifting away from him.

"Y/n! You walk fast," he says as he descends down the stairs in a hurry, trying to catch up with you.

"How was your week? I was hunting Nogtails in Norfolk with my uncle Tiberius and Rufus Scrimgeour, you know the head of the Auror Office? Myself and Bertie, Higgs, our family friend, caught two on our first day alone," he says smugly, completely overriding his question as he walked in step with you towards Snape's classroom. You bummed out a vague reply, trying to subtly walk quicker to decrease the amount of time you'd need to spend with him, cursing the distance between the staircase and the classroom.

"It's so odd to see you away from those Weasley boys, you're quite a package deal aren't you, I didn't see them at breakfast either," he muses.

"They had quidditch practice this morning, Angelina's trying to make up for the lack of practice sessions last week," you mumbled unenthusiastically, trying to be polite but not enthused.

"Such a shame I wasn't able to try out again this year, Davis bet me to eat a pound of poisonous doxy eggs and I spent the week in the infirmary, though I'm sure you're aware. It was the talk of the school that week," he says with a tone of pride, making you want to gag.

You hardly turned to him but felt him look towards you as you neared the classroom. He suddenly reached out to touch your shoulder and stopped you just before you crossed the threshold to the potions corridor.

"So I was wondering," he says, pushing back his curly hair in a move that you were sure he'd practiced countless times in front of the mirror, "we've never talked that much and it's quite honestly a shame, I'd like to get to know you a little better," he smiles, perfectly straight and shiny white teeth glinting at you as he leans against the wall in front of you, blocking the classroom with his arm. "How would you like to accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend? We could get to know each other better over a butterbeer or two, my treat of course."

You could have thrown up in your mouth at the very thought, even without the smug and smarmy look on his face as he asked. You didn't even remotely know how to respond to his offer, wanting to shoot him down immediately but still remain civil enough.

Luckily for you, that decision was taken out of your hands as Professor Snape burst out of his office at precisely the right time.

"I suggest you don't linger in doorways Mclaggen, your prospects in this class might be acutely inadequate but to prevent a prosperous student from acquiring her education might be the most shallow and egregious thing you've done thus far," he grumbles as he barges past, his gaze fixed upon Mclaggen's arm as it blocks your entry to his classroom. Snape gestures briefly for you to walk ahead of him as soon as Cormac drops his arm and he follows behind you as you enter the classroom, leaving Cormac standing out in the corridor with his mouth agape.

Snape stalks over to the front of the classroom, swishing his wand to close the shutters on the windows, leaving only the large window at the front of the class to light the room.

"Today's class will be a continuation of our last session, I pray one week away has not melted your tiny brains and that some information was retained," he says as he scribbles on the chalkboard, writing 'Amortentia' in his beautiful, decorative script.

"Last week miss y/l/n brewed a perfect draft of Amortentia and I would like for you all to try and replicate this impressive feat," he says, gesturing towards a small vial of potion in his hand, a sample of your potion from last week. "You may work in partners, I dare say the probability of success should be increased but I have yet to see such things."

Chatter begins to spread throughout the classroom as people link up and you're name is called out more than a few times as people hope to partner up with you.

"Miss y/l/n shall be working alone, her accomplishments will not be diminished by an idle participant. The recipe and method are listed in your textbooks, page 634, the ingredients have been placed by your benches, I expect a better turn out than last week."

He moves to stand beside your bench and you look up at him expectedly, not yet starting your preparations for brewing the love potion.

"Would you stop by my office after class?"

"Yes sir," you reply politely, confused by his request but not dwelling on it as you gather ingredients. He nods and walks away with a flourish of his cape, already calling out students for not using the proper method.

Your nerves consumed you, not of brewing the potion again but of the result. Having spent the week with the Weasley's, you were more conflicted than ever about who you truly loved, finding no resolution to your conflict. The night you'd all spent together had only further added to your confusion, finding that it felt right and without conflict and there had been no awkwardness or regret from any of you the next morning.

You set to brewing the potion, the same way you had the previous week though this time you paid meticulous attention to the heat, ensuring that it didn't boil over again, even for a moment. You still weren't convinced that you'd brewed it correctly, despite Snape's claims, knowing that the changing smells must have been a fault.

You caught sight of Cormac in the corner who was already looking at you, wiggling his eyebrows as he looked at you brewing love potion. You thought for a brief second you'd need a second cauldron to vomit into but you didn't humour him and just turned your attention back to your potion.

Once you'd added all of your ingredients, you turned off the flame below and allowed it to sit on the residual heat just as you had before, this time watching as each bubble popped to the surface, keeping a fixed eye upon the steady effervescence.

The moonstone powder circulated in the elixir and began to shine in a pearlescent swirl, signs that it was already coming together. When the steam above the cauldron began to twist and change, forming long spirals, you knew you'd done it once again.

Snape was on hand immediately, apparently carefully overseeing your creation and stepped forward to once again place a lilyfig leaf into the mixture. He let out a small, clipped smile as the leaf disintegrated before your eyes, eroding in the liquid until it had disappeared entirely. Snape looked up towards you with a look you couldn't place, holding your gaze for just a moment before announcing to the glass that you had once again drafted a quíntese example of what Amortentia should be.

"20 points to Gryffindor," he says, looking up at you as you break out into a thankful but bashful smile. The Gryffindor's in the room all cheer excitedly at your collection of house points, shouting out your name and hollering until Snape puts an end to the ruckus. He then nods once towards you and moves away, tending to other cauldrons that seem to be on the verge of boiling over or worse.

It was now or never. You looked at the potion before you, entranced by the spiralling steam and stepped closer, ready to discover for the second time who you would smell. You tried to clear your mind, not to think of either twin as to not cloud your judgment and stepped forward, preparing to smell either Dandelion and Burdock or Pumpkin Spice.

When neither came, you frowned, looking down at the potion that seemed to be correct but wasn't emitting anything you recognised, until it hit you.

The smell of the ground after it had rained.

It had always been one of your favourite smells in the world, only right now there was a very specific memory attached to that scent, the particular smell of dried grass mixing in with it that made you certain where the scent originated.

The morning after your threesome with the twins.

You began to stir, slowly rising out of your dreams as wakefulness overcomes you, quickly realising that you were lay in bed between both twins who were still sleeping soundly either side of you. You stretched out your legs and winced a little at the soreness between your legs but couldn't help but bloom into a smile at the thought of the previous night, of being loved by both of them, together. The ache between your legs served as a reminder or a souvenir you could say of the wonderful night.

Not wanting to disturb them, you lay in bed and looked out of the window, seeing the warm hues of dawn outside, the rain no longer falling as the sun bloomed over the hilltops.

"G'morning princess," Fred says sleepily from behind you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as he pulls you closer to him and cuddles you.

"Morning handsome," you whisper as you smile, not wanting to wake George just yet as you snuggle into him, feeling him press gentle kisses to any area exposed to him.

"It's stopped raining," you say absently as you feel him stretch out his long legs behind you. He hums in reply, too focused on you. You see George begin to stir in front of you and even in his sleep he reaches out for you, arm extending to drop around your waist. You reach over, shifting in Fred's hold but not pulling away, to press a little kiss to the tip of George's nose, seeing him do a little scrunch off his nose and then a little blissful smile as he begins to wake.

His eyes flutter open and he smiles sleepily as he sees you, his hand reaching to stroke your waist as he wakes up.

"Morning angel," he says quietly, his voice still deep and rusty from sleep, making your heart skip.

"Morning Georgie," you smile, reaching out for him too, placing your hand on his chest.

You all lay cuddling for a little while, just enjoying the slowness and stillness of the peaceful morning before George gets up to open the window, feeling a little warm from the body heat.

"It's stopped raining," he points out, climbing back into the comfy bed and making you smile at the similar comment you made earlier. Immediately the smell of the ground after the rain drifts in through the window and takes over your senses completely, wrapping you in an extra layer of comfort and peace as you lie there between your loves.

The scent suddenly changes and pulls you out of your little daydream, the strong scent wrapping around you like a warm blanket as you smell familiar whizzbang smoke, so identifiable in its undertones that you can't help but smile. The musky, burnt smell is instantly recognisable as it mixes with a lingering sweetness that cannot be confused with anything else.

The scent then changes abruptly to something you couldn't place. It was unlike anything you'd ever smelt, an array of scents mixed together so perfectly that the individual notes were indecipherable. Almost like a smoky incense with sweet notes and something clean, a warmth to the scent that seemed to ignite something in you that you couldn't explain. You frowned, not knowing what it was but it was undeniable that it made you think of both Fred and George, like a perfect blend of the two.

It was both. You loved them both.

Tears brimmed at your eyes as you stood looking down into the shining liquid but this time they were tears of pure happiness and elation. You no longer felt any guilt or shame at your feelings, knowing that it was unequivocally equal.

But then the weight of guilt and pain overwhelmed you again, knowing that now you would never be able to choose between them.

Class finished rather uneventfully and you couldn't help but thank Professor Snape for asking you to stick around and visit his office afterwards, having seen Cormac waiting for you in the corridor.

"Run along McLaggen," Snape says as he ushers you out the classroom towards his office, hardly casting a glance to Cormac as he glided past him. You followed diligently as you rounded the corridor towards the heavy wooden door at the end; the potion master's office. You'd only been in Snape's office once before, on account of Fred and George's antics. You were all reprimanded and given detention, though you were only guilt by association that time.

You stepped into the dark, cellar-like room and gazed around at the dark wooden shelves littered with multiple glass jars that spanned the entirety on the room, the circular desk in the center being the focal point of the entire room. Snape moves to stand behind the desk, offering you a seat in one of the plush leather chairs as he shifts a pile of exercise books and essay parchments that you assumed he had been marking.

"Professor Mcgonagall has told me that you have a meeting with her tomorrow in regards to your career prospectives," he says, taking a seat at his chair.

"Yes sir," you confirm, nodding slightly as he pulls out a pile of papers.

"And you are intending to carry on with Potions at NEWT level?"

"Yes sir," you nod again, a little confused by Snape's questions. "I got outstanding in my OWLs, I understood that was the criteria?"

"Yes," he says absently, "and do you wish to carry out a career in brewing?"

"I'm not sure sir, I enjoy it and I seem to be proficient enough," you say, trying not to sound clueless, not quite wanting to admit that you didn't have a plan for your future.

"Well quite," he interjects, attentively listening to your answer. A smile flashes briefly on your face at his conversational addition before you continue speaking.

"I just don't quite know what I want," you answer honestly, the irony of your words not lost on you as you consider that you were just as indecisive in all elements of your life.

He hums out a vague reply as he considers your words before leaning forward on the desk, hands crossed as he speaks directly to you.

"Have you not considered applying for prefect status?" His words surprise you and you can do nothing but shake your head, not wanting to voice your honest truth that it would conflict too much with your personal life, knowing that you'd have to either turn a blind eye to your boyfriend's antics or repeatedly get them in trouble.

"The reason I ask, is that a position will be available at the start of next term as potion master's assistant," he explains, "it would entail preparing ingredients, organising the stores, including my own, ordering, inventory and various necessary admin. I'd like to firstly offer the position to you." Your eyebrows shoot you into your head at his words, astounded by his offer. "You've proven time and time again how proficient you are and I dare say you would be the only student in the school worthy of the title."

You open your mouth to reply but nothing comes out, still in a state of shock at his offer, trying once again not to blush at his praise.

"I'll require an answer by the end of the week, after that the role will be offered to other students," he adds, "please consider my offer, it will serve you well in the future, even if your chosen path is not amongst this craft."

"Thank you professor," you say, finally managing to get the words out. "It's an honour to be chosen, I'll consider it," you smile, feeling a little overwhelmed. He nods with soft eyes, pleased by your reply. A moment passes as you wait to be dismissed and he gestures to the door, allowing you to leave. You gather your books and smile up at him about to exit when you turn back, "Professor, thank you for the book recommendation the other day, it's certainly much better than Jigger's Opuscule," you laughed, walking out of the office before closing the door and walking up the stairs to the great hall.

You were mightily thankful that Cormac had taken Snape's advice and had disappeared by the time you exited the dungeons. You made your way to the great hall ready for lunch after your double lesson and meeting with Snape.

You were a little nervous at seeing the twins since your discovery in potions and the role offer that followed, realising on your walk that you had so much to discuss with them.

Everyone was already gathered around the dining table at you walked into the hall, already tucking in to their lunches, Ron with particular vigour as usual. George looked up first, seeing you approach and gave you a sweet smile as he shifted down on the bench, making more room between himself and Fred. As George shifted, Fred looked up and smiled at you, also making room between the pair, though in a much blunter sense as he ordered Neville to scoot up, shoving his plate away for him.

You greeted everyone as you took your place and immediately felt two hands on each of your thighs, one from each twin underneath the table. George's stayed a little more PG over your skirts whereas Fred hand slipped under the fabric, caressing your bare leg just about your knee.

"Here she is," Cormac said, standing behind Ginny who was seated across from you. You immediately tensed upon hearing his voice, knowing that whatever slipped from his mouth would antagonise the twins.

"McLaggen," you greeted unenthusiastically, almost sighing at you reached for a piece of chicken, your gaze hardly meeting his, praying he'd go away.

"You never gave me an answer you know," he says flirting with a wiggle of his eyebrows and you immediately feel both twins beside you tense, Fred's hand inadvertently gripping your thighs just a little tighter. George straightened in his seat, as if making himself taller and more alert, no doubt fixing Mclaggen with a harsh stare. "Those house points you received have only upped my offer. Snape may have let you escape this time but I'll be waiting." He winks and walks away and you have to hold back a shudder at the thought. How long had he stood practising that line?

"Um what was that about?" Ron said, briefly pausing his feasting to look at you with a confused face.

"She got 20 points again in class!" Katie said excitedly from the other side of Neville, and the response was mixed amongst your group. Ginny, Harry, Neville and Hermione all celebrated your little win, telling you well done as they smiled at the little victory. Ron looked confused as ever, still frowning as George and Fred beside you looked tense and quite frankly, pissed off.

"Not that," Fred spat out, turning to look at you harshly.

You sighed, feeling your good mood slipping further and further away.

"Cormac asked me out," you said with a shrug, focusing your attention on picking at your chicken leg so you didn't have to look at anyone, "Snape burst in before I could tell him no."

"Why would you tell him no?" Hermione asks outraged and you can't help but shoot your gaze up to her at her sudden outburst, seeing her turn bright red as she realises she'd said that out loud. "Well he's not exactly bad looking, as Trolls and things go and his father's rather high up in the ministry," she mumbles, trying to dig herself out of a hole.

You snort at her words and place down the chicken you'd still yet to eat, "well if that's the new requirements for a boyfriend then Malfoy better watch out," you joke, trying to break the tension. "Personally I'd like more than not a troll and a rich daddy."

"Oh yeah, like what?" George says, seemingly less pissed off than his identical brother who still seemed tense and frustrated. You shoot him a little look as if to say what the hell and he merely smirks down at you, knowing exactly what he's doing.

"Aww Georgie, sad I didn't describe you?" You tease, trying to act as just friends in front of everyone. "You want me to say tall, ginger and funny so you can sleep tonight?"

Everyone around the table laughs, unaware of the deeper meaning to your words.

"Shove off," he replies without any conviction, playing his role perfectly as he shoots you a subtle wink. Fred seems to have defrosted slightly but still seems a little more uptight than usual and so you knew you had to pull out the big guns. "You wish," he adds with a knowing smirk.

"I was actually talking about Fred," you joke, nudging the other brother who suddenly smiled a little dopey smile and you felt his hand un-tense around your leg as he stroked his thumb over your skin softly.

"I am better looking than you," he smirks as his brother who simply rolls his eyes and you're glad to see that the tension had finally slipped away.

"So how come you were so late?" Ginny asks, putting down her knife and fork before reaching for her goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Oh," you said, "Snape called me into his office."

The twins immediately 'oooh' as everyone looks at you surprised, thinking the worst.

"What did you do? Blow up a cauldron?" Fred jokes.

"Relabel the Lacewing flies?" George adds.

"Talk in class?" Fred.

"Late?" George.

"Skirt too short?" Fred smirks.

"No," you huff before turning your head straight to Fred, realising his words, "what's wrong with my skirt?" You ask.

"Literally nothing," he flirts and you roll your eyes, elbowing his arm as George chuckles.

"He asked me to be potion master's assistant next term," you explain, finally taking a bite out of your lunch. Everyone goes silent, looking surprised at you.

"That's unheard of!" Hermione says, a little too loudly. "No sixth year has ever been an assistant! It's like a first year getting head girl!"

You don't know what to say and simply shrug, turning back to your lunch.

"Well done princess," you hear Fred say as he leans into you subtly, making you blush. George's hand creeps up your back to stroke at your hip and you turn to look at him to see a sweet smile that conveys his own congratulations.

"You must take it!" Hermione says, pressing the matter. "You'd surely be the youngest Head's assistant in history!"

"I'm thinking about it," you reply with a nod, trying to tune out the rest of the conversation, hoping it shifts to something else. Eventually it does and you take the opportunity to lean over to Fred, whispering in his ear.

"Are you free later?" You ask and he looks up at you with a nod, eyes washing over your face, towards your lips before flicking back up to meet your gaze, trying to figure out your intentions.

"Black lake after hours?" You ask, raising your eyebrow teasingly at him and you can see the initial surprise in his eyes before he nods, a little too enthusiastically which makes you smile. He subtly nods to his twin who is deep in conversation with Angelina about something quidditch you didn't understand and you shake your head at his nonverbal question, trying to convey that you wanted him alone. His smile widens just slightly as his hand squeezes your thigh again before you both turn back to the larger group, hoping nobody saw your little exchange.

You'd managed to borrow the Marauders map from Harry for your little jaunt, knowing that it would be tricky to sneak all the way out without a lookout and you didn't trust yourself to be alert enough around Fred. You met Fred in the common room and began to sneak around the corridors, avoiding Filch and prefects until you were stood in front of the statue of Gregory the Smarmy, shifting around it with great precision until you slipped into the little passageway beneath that lead out onto the grounds surrounding the school, close to the lake.

"So princess," Fred says as you walk out towards the lake, taking your hand in his, "Is there a reason for this or did you just miss me?"

"Both," you admitted, pulling him closer to you by your entwined hands, feeling elated at getting to spend time with him as your boyfriend, away from everyone else.

You made your way to the bank and sat down on the rocks, looking out at the calm, moonlit water. Your nerves were starting to get the better of you as you looked at Fred, seeing the moonlight framing his face beautifully, illuminating his sparkling eyes and highlighting his strong features.

"I wanted to talk, about everything, away from George," you said, breaking the silence. Fred turns to you with hesitation in his eyes, feeling the foreboding sense of pain. "I'm going to just speak openly about what I need you to know and I just want you to listen okay, otherwise I'll never get through this and please no teasing, it's hard enough to admit without that." He nods silently, showing that he's listening.

You stand, pacing a little already as you fight to get the words out with Fred still seated watching your every move.

"It's always been you. You have been my best friend since practically my first day here. It was you that always gave me butterflies and your name I used to scribble in my little notebooks, you I'd focus on during Quidditch games and cheer the loudest for. I can't remember a time that I didn't fancy you, even as a first year before I really knew what it meant to like someone, I always felt some extra kind of pull towards you. Then you started growing your hair out and I thought I was going to die from being so attracted to you, like every time you looked at me I thought I might faint. And then the flirting started and the little touches and then that night at the pond at your house happened, when you and George told me how you felt and since then I've been a mess. I never intended to fall for George, it just happened so naturally and so quickly that I feel like I'm still dizzy from it," you pause, taking a long breath as you suddenly stop pacing.

A sudden rush makes you jump as Fred moves to stand directly in front of you.

"You said 'fall for George', you love him?" He asks, towering over you. You nod, trying to be brave under his imploring eyes.

"Do you love me?" He asks, his vulnerability showing as his slightly sad eyes look into yours. You nod again and are suddenly swept into a kiss that steals the breath from your lungs, his hand cradling your chin as he pulls you deeper and deeper in. When you pull apart, Fred rests his lips on your forehead, the height different allowing him to tuck you into his body, chin resting on your head as he holds you.

"I love you," you say, pulling away slightly so that you can look up at him, seeing an infectious smile blooming across his face.

"Princess, I've loved you for a very long time," he says, still smiling as he leans down to give you another passionate kiss.

"But, George," he says after a moment, pulling away to look at you with a mixture of emotions you can't identify. A figure in the near distance makes you smile as you spot them walking towards you with perfect timing.

"Evening," George says as he approaches you both, handing you the marauders map that you'd agreed to 'drop' in the hidden passageway beneath Gregory the Smarmy, allowing George to join you. Fred looks at you both and chuckles, thankfully seeing the funny side of your little plan.

"You knew?" He asks his twin, playfully shoving him as George nods with a little chuckle.

"She caught me earlier, snook away from Charms during our free period," George explains before he reaches out and kisses your head, taking a seat on the rocks, joined by his twin a moment later as they look up at you.

"Same rules, please just let me get this all out first," you say, continuing your little speech. "You both know as much as the other right now and if I stop I won't be able to start again." They nod, muttering some kind of verbal acknowledgment as George waves his hand, urging you to continue.

You take a deep breath and start again, trying to calm your nerves and pluck up some form of confidence.

"Something happened before the break, in Potions," you explained, finally telling them the whole story. "You asked me what I smelled that day brewing the Amortentia and I never told you because I thought I'd made a faulty batch." You sighed, turning to look at them, seeing the confused looks on their faces, a tense sadness lingering as they waited to hear what you were going to say, who you were going to chose.

"I smelt dandelion and burdock, then toasted marshmallows and then whizzbang smoke," you admitted, adding quickly as you looked towards George, "but then Snape came over and distracted me, my potion started bubbling so I ran over and turned it off the heat but when I went back to it, it didn't smell the same. It was pumpkin spice, your jumper and whizzbang smoke."

You looked away from them again, trying to force out the last part of your little speech.

"I know you both want me to choose and believe me I've tried, I've desperately tried, but I can't, I can't choose when I love you both. This morning in potions, we brewed Armortentia again and this time it was different, it wasn't either of you it was both, mixed together. The smell after the rain, whizzbang smoke and... something else I can't place like a complete mixture of you two? It's hard to explain, it's warm and sweet but clean and faintly smoky, I don't know what it is but it's definitely you."

You started pacing again. "You're going to leave after this year and I still have my last year to do, Snape wants me to be his assistant, you're going to go off and starting the shop and I'm going to be left behind and I'm worried about that. I can't chose between you and I'm going to lose you both just because I stupidly fell in love with both of you, you can't wait forever and you'll find someone else and I can't be without either of you."

They both stand in unison, moving towards you, causing you to stop rambling.

"We'll not be at school, but we'll always wait for you," Fred says reaching out for you.

"We want a future with you, regardless of what or who you decide or even if you don't, we'll be here," George adds, taking your hand. Tears form in your eyes as you finally disclose everything you've been feeling.

"Y/n," Fred says, pulling your attention back to him, his tone serious as he uses your full name, "I've liked you ever since you sat down at the table after you were sorted into Gryffindor and I've loved you almost as long as that, every single day I love you more," he says, looking directly at you, "truthfully, I'd have been broken if you chose George but I'd have respected your decision and let you both be happy."

"And for me, exactly the same. I've loved you just as long but I accepted that it was Fred you liked, always secretly hoping you'd look at me the way you did him. But then you did and every day since I've felt like the luckiest wizard alive," George says, wiping at your eyes as a tear falls down your cheek. "This whole thing started because we both wanted to be with you and we wanted to both have a chance at loving you, that hasn't changed," he adds. Fred nods along with his brother's words.

"We knew how hard it would be for you to choose but we didn't anticipate how hard it would be for either of us to let go," Fred says, linking his hand with yours so that they were both holding one of your hands. "And then our feelings got deeper and we sensed that yours did too." You nodded along with him, agreeing with his words.

"Angel," George says, pulling your attention to him, "I don't know how it's going to work, but we'll make it work because it's us," he says, "we create our own future, remember? That night on the balcony, you told me how proud you were of us, defying conventions and other's opinions, of knowing what we want?" You nodded along again, remembering the conversation clearly. "We want you. So we defy expectations and ignore opinions. I told you I'd keep you forever if I could and that's exactly what I plan on doing."

"Me too, I might add," Fred says with a cheeky smile.

"I love you both, so much," you say, looking between them.

"I love you," George says, moving to kiss you, pulling you in to his chest. You then turn to Fred who smirks as he walks over.

"I love you too," he says, grinning as he leans down to kiss you deeply. "More, I might add," he whispers as you pull away, earning a swift kick to the shin by his twin.

After that night, you made it official with the twins, no longer having to hide your relationship from your friends and peers. You'd expected people to be more shocked and less amenable than they were but as soon as the initial gossip had circulated, you found that almost everyone was accepting of your unconventional relationship. Molly and Arthur had been surprised to say the least but they had quickly come around to the idea and had been as warm and welcoming as ever, especially excited at the prospect of you being their future daughter in law, which was brought up often.

Time passed quickly during the twins' last year as you spent your time preparing for your NEWTS, spending time with your friends and boyfriends, cheering at quidditch games and being Potion Master's assistant, the role you'd accepted only a day after Snape's offer.

You still didn't have a set plan for your future, all you knew was that Fred and George would be a prominent and continuous fixture within it, the two men you loved.

{Flash forward}

It was early in the morning on a sunny April Saturday when you walked down Diagon Alley, three takeaway teas in hand from the cafe around the corner as you strolled towards the brightest shop in the street, both in colour and innovation.

93 Diagon Alley was a beacon of light in the otherwise dull street, the other stores not holding a candle to it's vibrancy. You'd been given a special leave for the weekend, signed off by both your father and your 'boss' the potion master, under the guise that you would be collecting orders for the school's potion stores. In honesty, you were here for the grand opening of your boyfriends' shop, finally getting to see it in person for the first time after months of planning and designing with them.

You beamed with a smile as you spotted the humongous figurehead of your boyfriends' likeness in the front window, enchanted to repeatedly remove  and then restore the top hat, revealing a rabbit underneath the hat. Above the shop was the flat where your boyfriends had moved in to after leaving the burrow, the same flat you planned to move into with them once school was over.

Your smile only increased when you spotted two very familiar faces waiting by the front door to the shop, already dressed for the day in their three piece suits which were not identical in colour but were matching in every other sense. You walked quickly over the cobbles as you felt the cardboard carrying tray and the teas levitate out of your hand; seeing George flourishing his wand so that they didn't spill as you began racing towards them after not seeing them for nearly two weeks. You ran straight into Fred's waiting arms as George placed the teas beside you, waiting his turn with you.

Fred pulled you immediately into a passionate kiss, his left arm wrapped tightly around your waist, holding you to his body whilst his right hand crept to his favourite spot on your jaw.

As you pulled apart, George pulled you towards him by your hand and immediately kissed you with as much passion as Fred, his arms caging you in his hold.

"I'm so excited! It looks so amazing, I'm already so proud of you both!" You beamed excitedly, ready to be the first official customer inside the doors of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

They both beamed in pure elation as Fred unlocked the door with his wand, casting some form of enchantment they used as the door opened wide, showcasing the mind blowing interior, stocked to the high heavens with all their amazing creations. Fred stepped aside, ushering you to step through first as they moved to walk behind you, carefully watching your face as you entered their pride and joy.

As you stepped through the threshold of the store, your breath caught in your throat as two things overwhelmed you simultaneously. Firstly, the sheer pride and amazement at the store in its entirety, so beautifully created to be the physical embodiment of everything Fred and George stood for. The shop was warm, fun, playful and eccentric, their life's creations displayed over five inviting and magical floors, filled to the brim with joy.

The second thing that rendered you entirely breathless was the smell. Clean, warm, sweet and smoky, all mixed together to create the perfect scent of your boyfriends. You couldn't stop the tears that ran down your face in pure happiness as you were finally able to place the scent that had plagued you everyday since you brewed the second draft of Amortentia. You laughed out loud in sheer delight at the absurdity of it all, the final piece connecting to perfect the puzzle of your life.

"The smell," you explained, turning to the twins who were watching you with slight concern at your reaction, seeing tears falling down your face. "This was the third scent of the love potion, the one I could never explain. It was both of you, it was always both of you."

Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read, like, comment and reblog my work! I’ve enjoyed every second of writing this series and hope to add more to their love story in the future 🖤✨

[arrgh-whatever]

I have unrealistic dreams of writing (and maybe publishing) a book one day and so sometimes ill come across an artist online and put them on my mental list of "id sell a kidney to have this person do the illustration"

Its only a list of like 3 people so far, 2 of which i have suddenly ceased to remember and one of which is you because you draw things somehow the exact same way i see them in my head but better and cooler and more interesting and i would genuinely die if that were to happen

Id just need to write a book first... but i always push it off... maybe i should calm down a bit and focus on step one and actually work on my writing like you with your art lol

Anyway thats just like a thing i thought of and idk i thought id tell you because. Idk i personally think that if i appreciate someones work i should tell them about it, theres too many people who will only point out things they dont like when actually what we need is for people to be encouraged and to see that even other people like what theyre doing

Badly explained but you get what i mean (hopefully)

Sorry for the long ask lol but i hope you have a great day forever thank you for making people happy on the internet ok bye :)))

Anyway

ohh, that's an honor, thank you!! :]

have a great day forever too!

[basil-does-arttt]

Devil May Cry 2. The pimple-faced teenager of the series, widely regarded as the worst game in the franchise.

While yes i agree with this viewpoint to some degree, and i think all the jokes about it being the worst one are funny... i honestly dont think the game is THAT bad. In fact, i think people give it too much shit.

Ill start out by saying this: no, the game isnt amazing. Its under-developed, rushed, and in no way is it up to the same standard as the other 4 games. Im not saying its this perfect game, but its not as horrible as some make it out to be.

Ive played through the game on the original PS2 version and the remastered version, and although im yet to complete Lucia's campaign, i can confidently say the game is mediocre at worst really.

First the gameplay: Boring? Yes. Definitely. Do you like standing in one place and shooting everything for 15 minutes untill it drops dead? This is the game for you. But you dont have to do that, it just happens to be the easiest option because the controls are so jank. I spent (some) time myself learning the combos, turns out it depends on the way you angle the joystick, and once you get the hang of it, its not that difficult to S rank combat encounters at all. Its annoying, but not impossible, and the combos can honestly look pretty cool imo.

The movement is also another thing, the dodge animation takes way too long to perform but i do like the forward dash. Its a nice alternative to using stinger as a makeshift movement dash, i wish they kept it for furture versions of Dante. (Yes i know theres the trickster dash, but he doesn't do a flip)

I also really love the flying mechanic with aerial heart, and the different kinds of core thingies you could combine as a whole. A unique feature that kinda got combined into other things in Dante's design.

A few of the bosses, if they had been fleshed out and maybe balanced a bit better, could've been just amazing too. Furiataurus for example. One boss i feel was done well though was The Despair Embodied, and although you can just stand around and shoot it to death like everything else, you do actually have to put effort in to not get hit and die. (Trismalga is also kinda in that boat too, a well(ish) done fight you actually have to put effort into, but i personally didn't like it.)

Next, level design: You have to admit they did some cool things with the level design. *some*. The whole "grungy city" vibe is something i found very interesting, and the trippy purple iteration of lower town was, while infuriating to navigate thanks to the camera and graphics (esp on the ps2 version), was actually quite neat. I also really liked the clock tower in Lucia's campaign.

And also, the music. Can i just say, i think dmc 2's soundtrack is my favorite one out of all 5 games. The ambient background tracks are almost dreamy, especially Lucia's ones, the boss themes honestly go hard and the piano track that's repeated throughout the whole soundtrack just sounds good. If you take anything away from this post, its that you should listen to the soundtrack. (I reccomend the tracks "Unholy Relics", "Cry for the Moon", and "Shoot the Works")

The character designs are another thing i think they did well in this game. In my humble opinion, Dante's dmc 2 style is the best looking one in the whole series. Lucia also looks quite cool, her devil trigger form especially.

The characters themselves, Dante especially, need work, but might i remind you the developers were rushed when making this game. They didn't have enough time to do everything they wanted to do, 6 months before the game was supposed to release they didn't even have it in working condition. It was only thanks to Itsuno stepping in as the director that we got this game in the first place, and all he could do was salvage what the team had already created and get it in a releasable state before launch.

If only they had a bit more time (and maybe resources), dmc 2 couldve been quite the cool game. Though, on that note, if it werent for dmc 2's catastrophic faliure and Itsuno's prompt pestering for a sequel so the franchise didn't die outright, we wouldn't have gotten dmc 3. Though i think Capcom would've made a 3rd game regardless of the scenario.

All in all, i dont think dmc 2 is that horrible of a game. If you have the remaster collection, or even the original PS2 version, at least try it. Give it a go, play through the first few missions and kill one or two of the bosses.

Don't take it seriously, just have fun and enjoy the game in all its janky half-finished glory. If you look at dmc 2 that way, i think you'll enjoy it a whole lot more.

Or dont. Yknow, its your choice.

[ryuzakistoe]

Reunited once more PART 1 (Rin Itoshi x Fem!reader)

Childhood friends, angst, language, fem!reader, 2 parts

It's been a while since you last spoke to Rin. The last time you saw him was when Sae came back home. Since then, he has been acting "differently," leading to an argument. It's something you deeply regret. You wished you had done something to keep him from leaving...

a/n: HEYYY so I decided that I would be doing another Rin Itoshi ff because I have no idea who to write about next and stuff….BUT for my other ones ill do different characters! Maybe even from different animes too sooo….

BTW THIS IS PART 1 THERE IS 2 PARTS!!!

(this one is all angst btw but next part will have fluff and comfort to make up for all the angst in this one!!!!)

How long has it been? How many years have passed? When was the last time you saw him?

Well, its been 3 years. 3 long years since you last seen or heard from him.

~~~🥀~~~

Ever since Sae came back from Spain, Rin changed. Rin had always been so sweet, kind, and shy around you.

But on that day, he acted so cold towards you, staring down at you as if you were a mere pest.

Those same eyes that would show kindness and careness, were now gone—vanished.

Everytime he would look or at least spare a glance in your direction, it would always be filled with carelessness, emptiness, and even a hint of annoyance.

It pained you deeply that he would now perceive you as some ‘bug’.

You tried talking to him, asking him whats wrong, and what happened, but he would always shut the conversation down or just plainly ignore you.

He even lashed out at you once, complaining and irritated by your nonstop questions. He even talked about how your constant presence annoyed him.

…

“Do you ever just shut the fuck up Y/n?!”

…

Those harsh words pierced your heart. You felt as if a blade was stabbed right through your chest.

Your mouth was left agape as you tried to form a word. Unfortunately, none came.

Tears started to pool in the corner of your eyes, threatening to spill any moment now.

Noticing the quietness, Rin glanced back behind him, catching sight of the state you were in.

As soon as his eyes came into contact with your figure, he couldn't help but let out a scoff, although feeling guilty inside.

“Honestly, seeing you like this is pathetic. You really are embarrassing.”

As if it couldn't get any worse, the tears that were building up finally let loose. As if water was breaking through a dam.

The tears kept falling. Showing no signs of stopping any time soon.

Your breath hitched as you tried to contain yourself. Although there was no reason in doing so as it was proved impossible right now. Your nose began to get all red and runny from the crying you were doing.

You hated this.

You hated how you let his words easily affect you.

Whether it was comforting, kind words or aggressive, and hurtful words like this, you would always take them to heart.

But who could blame you as you grew up with the kindest, most caring, sweetest boy? You always relied on him.

Everytime you needed advice or consolation, Rin was always the first person you would seek for.

It was hard to believe that he was now some cold, heartless jerk who couldn't give two shits about you now.

But as they say, old habits die hard.

It was almost impossible to picture a life were Rin wasn't in it. After all, he’s helped you all these years.

…

After a bit of time of your silent crying, Rin decided to speak.

“Ill be leaving now. I'm finally leaving this shithole of a neighborhood behind.”

Wait...what..?

“Rin…? W-what do you mean your leaving..?” you manage to mumble out as your curiosity and anxiety got the best of you, wanting to know where he's going.

Rin let out yet another small scoff as he talked.

“Do I need to repeat myself? I said what I said.” Rin harshly spoke.

Hearing his sharp tone made you wince, but you had to know where he was going. Was he leaving for good, going on vacation, or just taking a break?

“Are…are you leaving for good..?” you softly uttered as your tears managed to pause momentarily, hoping that wasn't the answer.

Rin let out an aggravated sigh as he turned his body to face you.

“Do you really think I would want to stay here in this lukewarm place any longer?”

There it was. That word ‘lukewarm’. He would always say it now ever since Sae came back.

He let out yet another sigh as he continued talking.

“I got accepted to some soccer program so ill be attending there. Then soon after ill be moving after. I never planned to stay here anyways.”

After hearing this, you couldn't help but feel a hint of anger.

He would be leaving? For good? After all these memories you both made…they’ll be forgotten just like that?

Your disbelief and irritation now took over your earlier saddened state.

Without thinking much, you couldn't help but let out an angered yet upset confession.

“So you’ll be leaving? Just like that? What about us?! What about our childhood memories we shared here?! Your just gonna discard all of that?”

Hearing your raised voice only served to further aggravate Rin. How dare you speak to him like that?

He glared down at you as his hands balled into fists, his knuckles slowly transitioning into a white, pale color from his intense grip.

“So what of it? Of course I'll be leaving it all behind. Your nothing but a nuisance to me. Always leeching off me, seeking for solace and attention! All those childhood memories were no other than some mere enjoyable experiences.” Rin retorted back as his teeth slightly clenched in fury.

Now this…this was the most hurtful thing he could have said to you. Did he always perceive you that way? Some leech?

His cruel words made your eyes widen in shock. How could he say such a thing? Did he never want to stay with you from the start?

No.

Its not that.

It was obvious that he enjoyed—no, cherished those old times back then. He loved hanging out with you, spending time with you, and doing activities with you. He kept it all in his heart.

So, how could he spit out those lies just now?

Was it Sae’s doing?

Maybe.

Was it stress from his soccer career?

Maybe.

Or was it really all you?

Maybe.

It hurt. It hurt a lot to hear and witness Rin acting this way toward you—perhaps even toward other people.

Does he even know how much his words and actions are affecting you? Probably not.

You slowly look back up at him as you begin to speak your mind. After all, all of this was just one big pile of bullshit.

“Do you really mean that? Do you really believe that all those childhood memories were just for enjoyment and satisfaction in your life? I find that hard to believe.” you muttered out as your eyes narrowed down at him, exposing all the emotions you were feeling at that moment.

Rin casted his gaze onto you once more as he analayzed your words.

The thing was that Rin never truly stopped caring about you.

All this fighting, arguing, and bickering was doing a big enough toll on him as it was for you.

He felt guilty and regretful for every harsh word he spat at you.

He couldn't help but hold Sae responsible for everything. Sae was the one who shaped him to become the way he is now.

In the beginning, Rin was unintentionally being unfriendly and distant to you right after his interaction with Sae. He felt bad afterwards and wanted to apologize, but for some reason, he couldn't.

He knew that you were shattering apart. He knew that he was causing you pain. He knew that he was the reason for your sorrow.

And that pained him; he never thought that he would be the reason why you were so upset and miserable, especially when he liked you.

He soon came to a decision to try to at least distance himself away from you as to not harm or hurt you any further.

But, it soon became a difficult challenge as you were always around him.

He wanted to break the act and admit to you how sorry he truly is but he couldn't.

He didn't want to see the hurt all over your face. Especially if he was the one causing it.

Since he couldn't bear to see the pain on your face, he decided to sever ties with you or try to push you away.

At this moment, he hoped you would back off after he told you he was leaving.

Rin’s gaze lingered on you a little more than necessary before he finally spoke.

“Y/n. What I said is true. I merely saw all this as an enjoyable experience. Why can't you understand that?” he said as his voice lacked any emotion.

You stared back at him feeling..—well you didn't know what you were feeling.

Was he really admitting what he felt about both of your guys time together?

So why?

Why did he choose to stay with you at that time when he only found it ‘enjoyable’ and ‘distracting’ but not something to cherish and treasure?

Well, you also couldn't mostly blame him. Whenever he tried to leave, you would always pull or hold him back.

“Do you really mean what you say? Is this what your feeling right now?” you spoke as your voice began to crack, revealing how hurt you truly are.

Rin took a good look at you.

He couldn't do this for any longer anymore.

The way your eyes looked so hurt and miserable made him feel such drastic pain in his heart.

If you had told his younger self that he would cause you this much pain, young Rin would have been in denial and thought it was a joke.

He can't believe that he was hurting you, especially when he swore he would always care and look after you.

But now, the only way to care and protect you was if you would finally let him go.

“Its how I feel Y/n. Its how I always felt.” he nonchalantly spoke as he forced himself to hold back his true emotions.

“Always…?” you softly mumbled as his words continued to echo in your head.

He's always felt like this?

That was it. That was all you needed to hear as you finally began to accept it.

He's always felt like this.

At that moment, you felt numb. You felt nothing, or to be exact, you felt everything. You just didn't know how to express it in that overwhelming moment.

But the signs? he didn't show any signs that he wanted to stop spending time with you.

Great… now you were in denial.

While having inner conflicts with yourself, you began to notice Rin’s presence fading away.

Breaking out if your trance and looking up, you saw Rin walking away.

‘Wait..’

‘Please wait..dont go yet..’

‘Rin..’

You wanted to say something, mutter something, yell something, but you couldn't.

The truth about his feelings for you was holding you back. You didn't want to burden him any further.

But now you regretted it.

As it would be the last time you would see him in a while.

“Rin….”

a/n: sooo was this good for a whole thing of angst???BTW after completing both parts I mightttt do an isagi yoichi one but idkkk🥲 BUT OMGOMGOMG IM SO EXCITED FOR OCTOBER 5THHH

THEY BETTER NOT DO SAE DIRTY😣

(he's so cute, handsome, beautiful, majestic, pretty, gorgeous, stunning, exquisite, captivating, ravishing, fetching, good looking, attractive, lovely, etc.)