#ik thats not all of them but yk
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partyinpoison · 8 months ago
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The only people I hate more than the American's who are able to go to wwwy fest, are the non-American's able to go to wwwy fest.
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daemon-in-my-head · 1 day ago
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Okay community poll time again. Since I gotta Figure It Out™️ but both options have their pros and cons and y'all (rightfully so) decided Nil should have tats and she's slaying.
To educate you on what I mean exactly; me being nice is both Fine and Gort surviving the events of BG3, only for them to split regardless and ending up in a toxic arrangement no one in their right mind would attempt to call relationship a couple years down the line even more bitter and broken than before but at least they get unsafe bdsm out of it (it's not bdsm they don't know what that is they just like knifeplay or smth)
Me committing to the tragedy bit is forcing the man who wants nothing more than to die and be done with it to feel geniune love for another being and ending up wanting to live but slowly dying from being reckless and having a short period of "I'm a better person now". Oh also ofc only after he ends up losing the other person he felt geniune love for in the last 2 centuries. Cuz she sacrificed himself. Cuz Knight. After he approved of it. Cuz mf had no choice cuz ofc he doesn't he's my creature and I like to give him only the illusion of choice.
:)
Nil is the only one allowed to get a *somewhat* happy ending. Massive emphasis on the somewhat. I feel bad for her.
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qualityrain · 1 month ago
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I think its cute that joshua finds neku entertaining considering he agrees w neku that he never found anybody fun to be around. unfortunately this is to nekus detriment. sorry sewer god thinks its fun to fake his death and put u on the spot to decide the fate of shibuya
#i think its cute. “i never found anybody fun to be around” “me neither” -> “you sure know how to show me a good time”#its ad neku but cmon. iirc b4 he talks abt wanting to fight his universes neku but yk. hes occupied.#its like the “i dont get people. never will.”-> “i thought i finally found a friend to relate to”#unrelated. i saw someone like. imply that neku learns to be so “moral” in a way so he doesnt shoot joshua#like neku didnt care or trust joshua at all during w2 and didnt connect and purely didnt shoot joshua because trust ur partner#and im. LOL what………………#i might be biased because i do ship them but lol#interview saying at that moment neku absolutely couldnt point the gun at joshua and shoot#ok unrelated again. ik trust ur partner and all that shtick but i think its broader.#its abt caring abt other people (in general).#neku cares abt everybody! he cares abt shiki and cares abt beat + rhyme#and even the other players + everybody in shibuya + the reapers that literally#try to kill him etc etc#and at the end ofc. he cares abt joshua.#he cares abt him enough to be unable to shoot him#I think its more rhan just oh trust ur partner#because neku didnt even think shibuya would still be standing#he didnt trust joshua to make the right decision (side eyes the anime)#unrelated x3 i think its interesting#how neku changes tactics when trying to convince joshua#usuallt he kind of just. brute forces it lol#but he ends up playing games and bargaining etc etc#like joshua. he learns to play joshuas mind games#i wonder if thats part of the whole. friend i can relate to thing#because hes essentially forced to. LOL.#sorry joshuas so stubborn and annoying neku#hes stronger than me#claude txt#THERES SMTH I WANTED TO SAY. but i cant say it 100% accirately and its extremelt dubious and i have to check the entire game sceipt but lik#lowkey. is that nekus first instance of “putting himself in anothers shoes”
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bougouis · 2 years ago
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im so tired. have dickroy sketches cus i havent posted in 2 months. i wont post again ❤️ when i do itll have duke prommy
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circusk · 4 months ago
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just spent HOURSS!!!!! of my day . making fop family tree. its got 63 people rn uhmmm yeah
i think i have everyone . maybeee missing a cousin or two idk
#fop#ck.txt#i'm losing my mind . errmmm we need that season2 STAT#i got all the fairywinkles . all the cosmas. all explicitly mentioned von strangles i'm not counting every portrait in . that one ep#i got all the turners . smaller stuff with vicky's family and hazel's and chloe's . mark's there. uhmm#you can have exes so . i got endless potential cupid's in there#and then his immediate family from the greek mythos . i am NOT doing more#its fop focus<3 i just want cupid there idk he's growing on me#OH i also have a few dimmadomes. not all of them ik there's a lot. the issue is idk how they all relate . and how many generation. thats in#thats info i need for this thing#i wanna say thats everything...................idk#there's no easy way to share it which is lame i worked . for hours.#on this little website#idk what else to add this might be everyone#there's a few ships and hc stuff but i'm trying to keep it mostly canon confirmed info so idkk.. yeah that might actually be everyone#except for wanda's one cousin but that could also be like .. idk. mafia family isn't always family-family it's complicated and#i give up on trying to understand it#the wiki considers them family-family so yk what sure . thats all i need idc. he's only missing since idk which uncle he's related to#it'd be cool if you could just add sorta . miscellaneous family members#everything else is great tho you can do a lot#i originally did this on a different site and it sucked#the site i'm sticking with tho is uhmmmm familyecho.com its really simple but in a nice way#i think i've been working on this on and off since 6 and now its 11 so gn everyone . maybe i'll try sending a link or something
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spaciebabie · 1 year ago
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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jargyles · 1 year ago
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jonathan/eddie makes me so sick (POSITIVE!) because in the magical fantastical self indulgent world i have created in my brain in which they were in each others periphery since childhood and only really got close in the background while things were getting tense in jonathan's life is something that can be SO personal. eddie has to move in with wayne after middle school? jonathan finds his way to his new trailer whenever he can, it's muscle memory by the time he comes back to hawkins. lonnie fucks off from the byers? jonathan and eddie spend the night near castle byers writing a list of all the bands they're gonna see when they gain more independence. eddie loiters around the photography club (never participates or engages, just lurks) when jonathan moves to california. that kinda stuff
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wannabemylover · 8 months ago
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i need buddie to have a normal wedding. no one else has had a normal wedding (ig excluding henren vow renewal) and buddie needs to have a normal one. they all deserve it
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hyp3rsh0ck · 4 days ago
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bombards yall with lesbian battlebots
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connormoving · 7 months ago
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like i wouldnt mind like. Not having new linear games post 5 its judt that sims 4 wasnt even supposed to Be The Sims 4 it was a last minute pivot and the base code is so outdated and was broken On launch so like. i just wish we could have the final actual sims game be like. one that was always intented to be a major sims release AND be intended to be so long term . yk
#i dont even want like. Ooh major graphical updates whatever if sims 5 was announced and they looked photorealizstic id hurl i wouldnt play#it#my ideal would ig be sims 4 with a touch more realism style wise. if this makes sense#like its a bittt too cartoony for me but i like the like. Clay hair or whatever SJFNFJ. and i think having it be simple in basegame means#you can customize it easier + itd run better on more pcs#so im fine eith that. i would nottt want it more cartoony#i also like. I understand the sims is like. an all ages game i do sometimes wish that the animations in 4 were a bit toned down#like i dont mind silly goofy wacky stuff i think its fun and like. The sims has always been a bit sillay yk. but the overexaggerated#animations r sometimes like -_-.... to me. but thats personal preference#IDK. the tags that show up when i type idk r so funny. do i ever know anything. sources say no#BUT ya i just rly wish like. if this is what they wanna do i wish theyd give us One more full game give it lots of time and love and rly rly#focus on having it excel at like. being this partnof the sims#since they wanna have like. Other sims games that have online features and multiplayer and everything. they could use that to make sure that#ts5 was Rly solid as a foundation and as like. ykwim..... they could plan updates for the future And dlc or whatever and i just think itd be#a better move than trying to make sims 4 happen#bc i judt dont think With all the updates in the world. sims 4 wont ever be like. what it couldve been. yk. i just dont think you can make#it work without Fullllyyyy just starting over.#and at this point with like..so many modders and stuff and everything and how much dlc there is thatd be impossible Esp if they keep#releasing new stuff which. They will ^_^#idk. im excited for some other lifesim games im keeping my eye out#but i rly do love the sims and i just wish that it could be as good as it could be. It has such a huge budget and team and like. if ea would#stop just trying to make as much money as possible off it i feel like they could make Such an amazing game. not to put down indie gamedevs#at all the games jve been looking at look Incredible like.. yk. but the fact those games are so good eith FAR smaller teams and budgets is#like. imagine what we could have if the sims had that amt of care and time put into it.#but whatever whatever whatever. sorry im just rambling#again ik what i would want from my platonic ideal of a sims game isnt what everyone would eant#but idk. i feel like another good step might be like. making the other sims games more available and updating them so they run better on#modern pcs. but i dont think thatll ever happen DNDNFJFNFN.
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assumedcryptid · 9 months ago
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eep!
#cryptic ramblings#in the tags#feelinggggg a little bit neglected by me irl friend group 😖#just like. every time i say smthn/yap a lil i dont tend to get much acknowledgement??#vs the other two will always get some kinda acknowledgement etc both from me and the other (theres 3 of us)#idk im hoping its my pre-period bs talking n overanalyzing things but like... idk#bc its like. we're all stressed bc of our jobs n like other stuff#n we all share w eachother! abt those stressors! n we sympathize n offer advice n help where necessary!#like these r my Best Friends. theyd both be my Co-Smthn Of Honor when i get married!!! so i dont wanna assume smthn negative abt em yk??#but i just... yknow... feel a lil... blergh#like neglected is kinda too strong but just like.. im kinda annoying??? bothersome maybe??? idk#like if uve seen some of my other tags ive been stressed tf out over cleaning my room bc i had a certain deadline (which was today)#n last night was the worst of my stress but it was the most id done n i shared this w them but another one of em shared some their own stuff#n we all responded to them while i did not get anything n it made me feel a bit ignored 🥴#n ik i should prob bring this up to them but like i also dont wanna guilt them into feeling likr they HAVE to respond to everything i send!!#bc sometimes i rly Do Be sending just stuff tht doesnt rly require a response like truly#n i get just not rly having anything to say either so mmmmmm idk#def think im overthinking it all n my dumb pms hormones or w/e are making me overreact as a result but i just wanted to vent a bit#get it off my chest. yk how it is#(i also hope this isnt the One Time one of em decides to hop onto tumblr after YEARS of not using it 🥴🥴)#IM the resident tumblrite so itd be quite a coinkydink if one of em hopped on outta nowhere 😖#...anyways... yeah thats p much it)#i love em!!! i dont think i could Not Love Em!!! but my brain's just bein rejection-sensitive or smthn#n taking the lack of responses twrd my shit as Rejections ig#is wack#end of vent. thanks if u read all this lol
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jamswhams · 10 months ago
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I got a comic idea so I just wrote down the entire scene I might sketch it out tmw it's gonna be real bad looking teehee
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anatolienne · 2 years ago
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im honesty glad that i lived away from my family for 4 years bcs of school
#i fully believe that you have to live away from your family at some point during your youth (under management ofc)#to fully develope a healthy character#like ik i couldn't be the person i am today if i didnt take that opportunity i fully believe it#and you also really understand the importance of family that way#by being away from them by missing them#you know how to treat them and like thats the best thing someone can learn at the ages of 13 - 14#and like. people really dont understand how important your teenage and how it affects the rest of your life#its not the age to just have endless fun like thats so superficial and limiting its the age where you start to be conscious of the world#and you need to idolise the right people at that age because it affects literally eveything like the way you think and behave and all#and what also most people fail to acknowledge is that yes they do need an advocate or to 'idolise someone'#i believe we as humans are not meant to live individually and think individually and yk think of ourselves as isolated individuals#who is never affected by others like no girl that has literally never happened#needing the interactions and ideas and inspirations and warmth of others is human behaviour. it has happened since humanity began#denying this and seeing each individual as their own is not always so good because that isoltes us from each other#and it gives the idea that we arent supposed to be affected by others#so yea we as humans feel the need to look up at someone sometimes were just not conscious of it and deny it#but we need it especially at younger ages#its really important for teenagers to be surrounded by older people of various ages to be more conscious and gain a certain perspective#experience matters
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sharlsworld · 1 year ago
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soft lauch? - 𝐜𝐬𝟓𝟓 ✽
✿ carlos sainz x influencer!reader
✿ y/n and carlos try to soft launch their relationship but his millennial mind can’t comprehend the idea
✫ i got a little crazy at the end guys so i sincerely apologize for that also there’s a age gap…i’m sorry i’m obsessed with them sue me
🝮🝮🝮
definitelynotyn
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liked by pierregasly and 113 others
definitelynotyn is it time to start soft launching?
carlossainz55 Mi corazón I need you to explain a soft launch to me again
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux everyone take a minute to pray for y/n
♥︎ by author
landonorris LONGGGGG over due
⤷ definitelynotyn we’ve just been waiting for the right time
francisca.cgomes soft launch us? fs
⤷ definitelynotyn let’s go over the captions
⤷ carlossainz55 Alrighty then!
⤷ pierregasly idc how many years go by i’ll never get used to this
⤷ definitelynotyn cry about it
⤷ pierregasly i will
charles_leclerc You would hope so after almost 4 years of dating
⤷ definitelynotyn it’s not our fault we can keep a secret sharl
⤷ charles_leclerc What’s that supposed to mean 🤨
lilymhe carlos sainz deserves to be locked up for going after my little kitten when she turned 18 😾
⤷ carlossainz55 Your just mad I got rizz
⤷ lilymhe obviously not that good if your girl is eating lunch with me rn
⤷ carlossainz55 @definitelynotyn Come home baby the kids miss you
⤷ definitelynotyn omw 😍
⤷ lilymhe damn…someone took my bitch
georgerussell63 Nah i’m waiting for the hard launch engagement post
⤷ carlossainz55 😏
alex_albon bros gonna catch a case 😭
⤷ danielricciardo He’s ready to risk it all
🝮
yn
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liked by carlossainz55 and 6,924,085 others
yn so baby girl coded 🎀
charles_leclerc My eyes 😓
⤷ yn oh please spare me the dramatics
landonorris you two make me sick 🤢
⤷ yn all i’m seeing is a bunch of hating jealous bitches 🤧🥱
hoeforsainzzz guys…that watch looks pretty familiar
f1wags 👀👀👀
smoothoperator55 yk…i’ve spent some time memorizing the arms and hands of the f1 drivers and let me tell you…that’s gotta be carlos sainz 👁️👁️
ynstan4lyfe some of you guys need to except the fact that carlos and her are just friends and nothing more
carlossainz55 Lucky guy
this comment has been deleted
operatorsainz ik ya’ll seen that 🫣
danielricciardo How many times must I remind you that children are on this app
⤷ yn it’s not my fault if they see it the age requirement is 13 🤓
🝮
carlossainz55
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liked by lewishamilton and 9,813,762 others
carlossainz55 4 years with you by my side ♥️
charles_leclerc Tell her to cut her claws it looks like you asked a bear to scratch your back
⤷ hoeforsainzzz HELLOOOO??????
carlossainzappendix HELLO THATS THE SAME PICTURE Y/N POSTED IN HER SOFT LAUNCH STHU
landonorris bless carlos and his millennial mind 😞
iliveforcarlossainz welp this definitely wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card
hearts4lando SHUT THE HELL UP 4 YEARS AND WE HAD NO CLUE?
flowersforyn sooo…we’re not gonna talk about the 8 year age gap?
⤷ alex_albon no his lawyers are on speed dial he was ready to risk it all
⤷ yn shut up albono
yn oh baby 😭
⤷ carlossainz55 Did I do it wrong?
⤷ yn yeah but it’s the thought that counts
maxverstappen1 Almost had it mate
alexandrasaintmleux whoever didn’t pray for y/n this is your fault
🝮
definitelynotyn
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liked by schecoperez and 98 others
definitelynotyn why is bro tryna rizz me up
francisca.cgomes HAHAHA HES SO OLD WHO TYPES WITH AUTO CAPS
⤷ carlossainz55 Mature adults
⤷ definitelynotyn excuse me?
⤷ carlossainz55 I can never win
⤷ lilymhe HAHAHA THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR MESSING UP HER SOFT LAUNCH
charles_leclerc He actually was sweating like a bitch when he realized he posted the same picture
lewishamilton Roscoe misses his godmother he’s in need for a visit
⤷ definitelynotyn stop i’m coming over tmr
oscarpiastri 29 year old spaniard seen running around paddock looking disheveled and almost in tears after the realization hit that he ruined his girlfriends soft launch
⤷ definitelynotyn thanks for the update osc
carlossainz55 Babe please i’m on my knees begging forgive me
⤷ landonorris stand up carlos
⤷ definitelynotyn don’t you have a race to lose or something?
⤷ landonorris maybe in a different lifetime…you aren’t my bully 😔
⤷ definitelynotyn oh go cry me a river
⤷ landonorris i will
alexandrasaintmleux i wish charles was this down bad for me
⤷ charles_leclerc Girl………..
⤷ yn is what you are? 🤣🤣🤣
⤷ charles_leclerc You are my biggest hater
⤷ definitelynotyn proudly
🝮
yn
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liked by haileybieber and 10,172,253 others
yn ruined my soft launch but it’s ok cause the D is fire 🔥 yeah, i said it.
carlossainz55 Mi corazón es tuyo ♥️
⤷ yn ♥️
charles_leclerc You guys should pay for my therapy since i’ve spent the last 4 years sleeping in the room next to yours
⤷ carlossainz55 Get ear plugs
ynlos ik those bitches are like bunnies 🫣
hoeforsainzzz y/n giving us a little snack 😩
ynstan4lyfe i would like to take back what i said on her soft launch
danielricciardo Your pr managers are quaking with rage right now I know it
⤷ yn i was gonna say something but then i chose peace 😇
⤷ georgerussell63 That’s a first
⤷ yn alright bro your entire existence is a meme calm down 🤣🤣
⤷ georgerussell63 I can always count on you to make me cry
🝮
carlossainz55
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liked by lissiemackintosh and 9,019,723 others
carlossainz55 Dibs
francisca.cgomes WOAH THERE BUDDY
arthur_leclerc that’s enough instagram for the day.
landonorris my poor eyes
yn best pillow 😇
⤷ carlossainz55 Just for you
ynissocutiepatootie her side profile 😍😍
ynsmywife carlos sainz can’t handle allat
carlando this altered my brain chemistry
carlitossainz brotha don’t know what to do with allat
charles_leclerc Every time I open this app man I can’t escape it 💔
⤷ yn is that a little bitch i hear?
⤷ charles_leclerc You wound me
maxverstappen1 Wasn’t prepared for that
carlossainz55 All you bitches can stay mad
🝮
yns.asskisser
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liked by oscarpiastri and 84 others
yns.asskisser Date night with the missus
yn WOOF WOOF MEOW 😍😘😋👅🤤 SMASH SMASH SMASH YOU CAN HAVE IT ANY DAY ANY WHERE ANY TIME
⤷ yns.asskisser I love u mami
yn do you want head?
⤷ yns.asskisser Always baby 😘
⤷ charles_leclerc JUST BECAUSE THIS IS A PRIVATE ACCOUNT DOESNT MEAN OTHER PEOPLE CANT SEE IT
landonorris aw you sick bastard
lilymhe what is it finna play…WOAHHHH
alexandrasaintmleux i miss the person i was 10 seconds ago
francisca.cgomes you and y/n put 50 shades of grey to SHAME
alex_albon so who’s coming to church with me and lily on sunday? 😇
⤷ pierregasly me and kika
⤷ charles_leclerc Me and alexandra
⤷ oscarpiastri me and lily
⤷ danielricciardo Me
⤷ schecoperez Me
⤷ maxverstappen1 Me
⤷ yukitsunoda0511 Me
⤷ lewishamilton Me and roscoe
⤷ georgerussell63 Me and carmen
⤷ landonorris me
⤷ joris__trouche me
⤷ lance_stroll me
⤷ logansargeant me
⤷ fernandoalo_oficial Me
⤷ yn ya’ll mad i’m getting my world rocked every night 🤪🤪
♥︎ by author
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jsmainblog · 3 months ago
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more spence headcannons!! . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
a/n: uhm i love him so we gotta do more
warnings: some nsfw!!!!
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spencer is one of those guys u see on tiktok doing the 'buying the number of books my girlfriend can hold' thing at barnes and noble
spencer is the biggest fan of u playing with his hair
his hair probs feels so nice despite having no hair care routine
spencer has a scrapbook just like his mom and has some photos of the both of you in it
spencer is a tits guy
u can't like not say that he is he just is 🤷‍♀️
like not just big ones he appreciates them of all sizes yk
i feel like i have said this before but brooo if ur riding him he goes freaking weak
spencer is a big fan of laying ontop of you
"spence ur crushing me" "well i can't actually crush you i'm insanely skinny so🤓☝️"
spencer is a big music nerd
like now im not talking modern music im talking old music
he's got classical, he's got jazz, he's got 70's rock, he's got 70's pop, he's got 80's pop, he's got 80's alternative, he has grunge music from the 90s, he has heavy metal, he's got numetal
like if u ask him to put a cd on he just goes over to his bookshelf and go "you mean the orignal or do you want the remastered?"
he's a late bloomer
i mean thats kinda cannon but he was going through puberty a bit later than most
like he never actually stopped growing its so freakish
ik spencer has a natural sleeper build he probs does like an hour at a gym a week maximum
spencer would probably date someone quite intellectual but also really creative like art, music, film, design, graphics yk
it kinda balances out the overly logical side of him
chronic converse wearer (same man same)
he lets u draw on his converse!!!!!!
he probs would want to live in nyc or london if he didn't have to live in DC
ex weed smoker
"well yeah how else did i survive college like 3 times?"
showers and baths with you >>>>>>>>
"ur so pretty yk that?"
MUSEUM DATESSS
u don't even need someone telling u about the history u have spencer so ur set
strangley good at every musical instrument he touches
his biggest thing is trying to understand u
inside and out he wants to get into ur head and know what ur thinking all the time
he knows he's not u but he tries
work calls when he's away for a long time
everynight he's away without miss he calls u
sometimes u guys sext or have phone sex if ur both feeling a little lonely
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connormoving · 6 months ago
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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