#and you also really understand the importance of family that way

[yoonmetogether]

K, i’m sorry it took me so long to get back to this but ive had screenshots of the lines that hit me so hard sitting in my photo album lol

Jesus this hurt so fucking bad. I felt every one of these feelings as if i actually experienced them like????? its like i can visualize mc’s feelings??? Not just understand them through the words and thats some serious talent to evoke that kind of emotion that i can feel through a screen 👏👏👏but also 😭😭😭

Ouch….. i feel like mc doesn’t want to get in the way of them being a complete family even though she’s clearly important to haneul and yoongi and not just as a nanny anymore. So i get why she needs space. It would be hard to feel a part of something that’s not really yours like ofc she can love haneul and yoongi as a family maybe she’s worried haneul will think of her as his mom when she’s not biologically and she doesn’t want to confuse him

Brooooooooooo my fucking heart like its valid that mc had to step away but lil man was probs so confused and sad that she wasn’t around all of a sudden 🫠 and for yoongi to do that is in a way showing her that they both miss her 🥺

This is something ive needed to hear so many times. It’s so true but it’s so hard to stop being stuck. Thank you for writing this as a little reminder to all of us.

I still have a few chapters to read but this one really stuck with me the most!!! I enjoy your writing sososososososo much 💕💕💕

Love & Lullabies | Part 3

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female Reader

Summary: What begins as a simple favor for your best friend Namjoon soon pulls you into the rhythms of Yoongi’s life—afternoons spent caring for his son, late nights filled with candid conversations, and a connection neither of you thought you needed. You’re just fresh out of a long-term relationship with an ex who didn’t want a family with you, so did you really just stumble into a life you’ve always dreamed of? (Thank god Namjoon isn’t the only one who’s clumsy.)

Alternatively: It’s 2025 and BTS is prepping for their comeback. All members seem to have gained muscle weight from their time at camp. But Min Yoongi has gained a different kind of weight—an 8-pound baby and a fuck-load of responsibility. (Thank god you’re there to help him.)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, idol!au, Acquaintances to Lovers, Reader is Namjoon’s bestie

Warnings: Yoongi is a DILF (!!!) That’s it.

Chapter warnings: GRAB YOUR TISSUES!, this bitch is a whole ass kdrama episode and it’s gonna hurt before it gets better, happy ending tho!, themes of self-loathing, anxiety, and depression (MC), severe postpartum depression (not MC), it’s monsoon season and namgi don’t like umbrellas, (____) in the rain cliche scene, NAMTIDDIES because I can’t help myself, lastly… watch me morph this into another workplace romance/co-workers to lovers story lmao (real)

Word count: ~7k

Posting date: November 21, 2024

Notes: This is inspired by an ask/prompt sent by @yoongznme. 

I am a clown 🤡 and a liar 🤥 From pretending this is a two-shot, then a three-shot. It has become a chaptered series, atp. There is a part 4 in the works and I fully intend to end it there, but again, I may have just jinxed myself. Anyway! Enjoy, my lovelies~ 💕

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |  Masterlist

“She’s Haneul’s mom.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut.

“What?”

“Sung Kyung and Yoongi… they’ve been good friends for years,” Namjoon explains quickly, his tone almost apologetic. “I didn’t think they were dating. But yeah, she’s his mom. She left for months and when she came back, she'd already given birth.”

You feel like the ground has been ripped out from under you. What Namjoon said made no sense. You clutch the edge of the counter, your mind racing. “What do you mean she left…?” You have never been more confused in your entire life.

Namjoon sighs. “I don’t know all the details. You know hyung, he tells you what he thinks you need to know. The rest, he keeps to himself. But I do know they did the paternity tests and everything, and Haneul’s his, theirs.”

Theirs. It’s easier if Namjoon just slices your heart open at this rate. 

He places a tentative hand on your shoulder. “It’s better to hear it straight from Yoongi-hyung, since you guys are, you know.”

“I– I don’t know. I don’t know what we are,” you say, leaning your weight sideways against the wall to steady yourself. 

Get a grip. It’s Haneul’s day. 

Namjoon stands to shield you from the rest, in case anybody chances to look your way. You probably look like you’re about to puke. You definitely feel like it.

“Joonie…” Your voice is small when you ask, “Do you think she wants to come back now?”

Namjoon lifts his shoulder, lets it sag, “I don’t know. Maybe. She wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

Your chest tightens, a wave of insecurity crashing over you. Of course, she would want to come back now. She’s beautiful, successful, everything you’re not. And most importantly, she’s Haneul’s mother. That’s the kicker. How can you compete with that?

Spoiler alert: you can’t.

When you step back into the living room, the first thing you notice is Yoongi’s mom. She’s standing off to the side, her lips pressed into a thin line as she glares at Sung Kyung from across the room with a mixture of disapproval and barely-contained irritation.

“She shouldn’t be here,” she says quietly, her voice cold and clipped.

“Eomma,” Yoongi grits.

“She abandoned Haneul, Yoongi,” his mom hisses, her tone sharper now. “And she thinks she can just come here like nothing happened?”

Yoongi sighs, his hand briefly brushing his mother’s arm in a silent plea for calm. “Not here, eomma. Please. It’s Haneul’s birthday. Don’t make a scene.”

Of course he is siding with her.

You’re unable to tear your eyes away from Sung Kyung. How can she look so beautiful even if she looks miserable? She exchanges a few more quiet words with Yoongi near the door, her expression alternating between frustration and what looks like regret. You can’t hear what they’re saying, but you catch the way Yoongi’s shoulders stiffen, the way his jaw tightens as she reaches out to brush his arm. You see Yoongi nod, and you’re so curious, what is he agreeing to?

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she leaves. The door is closed, but for sure this chapter isn’t. Not even close.

You entertain yourself by watching some of the BTS members play some video games. Their antics, as funny as they are, don’t really register. Your laughs are hollow, mind totally elsewhere. It’s a while before Yoongi finally finds you, after he disappeared to his studio after Sung Kyung left and went MIA for half an hour or so.

He corners you near the snack table as you pretend to be engrossed in arranging leftover cupcakes.

“Hey,” he says softly, touching your arm lightly.

You turn to face him, your smile brittle. “Hey. How’s everything going?”

“Can we talk?”

You nod, following him toward the hallway, away from the laughter and chatter. The noise completely fades as you enter his soundproof studio and he turns to face you.

He exhales deeply, running a hand through his hair. “I wanted to talk to you,” he says carefully, like he’s choosing every word with precision.

“About Sung Kyung.” you offer. He nods, shoulders visibly tense. “Yeah. And Haneul.”

The mention of Haneul makes your chest tighten, but you steady yourself, waiting for him to continue.

“She and I… we were close for a long time,” he begins, his gaze dropping to the floor. “And yeah, there was a point where I thought it was going somewhere. But then she just… disappeared.”

“Disappeared?”

“She left Korea. No warning, no explanation. Just… ghosted.” He shrugs. “I didn’t know where she went or why. She didn’t contact me for months.”

“And then one day,” he continues, “she called. Told me she just gave birth to a son. That it was mine.”

The words hang between you, heavy and jarring. You don’t say anything, letting him get it all out.

“She didn’t tell me she was pregnant,” he says, shaking his head as if he still can’t believe it. “I literally only found out after he was born.”

You feel a pang of sympathy, but then you’re also feeling angry at Sung Kyung. “Why did she wait so long to tell you?”

“She said she didn’t want to burden me. I was already doing my military service and I had that thing… that case. She thought she could handle it on her own.” He looks up at you then, his eyes dark and conflicted. “But after she had him… she couldn’t. She fell into really severe postpartum depression and some other health issues, basically telling me she was diagnosed unfit to take care of him.”

Your throat tightens, and you clasp your hands together to keep them from shaking. “So you stepped in.”

He nods, “I didn’t have a choice. Haneul needed someone, and I couldn’t—I wouldn’t turn my back on him. He’s my son. It was confirmed by a paternity test.”

“And now she’s back,” you say, more a statement than a question.

“Yeah,” he says quietly, dragging a hand down his face. “She says she’s better. That she wants to be in his life now. That she can be. And honestly… I don’t know what to do.”

You study him for a moment, your emotions warring between compassion and your own sense of inadequacy. “What do you want, Yoongi? Not for her, not for Haneul. What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” he admits, gnawing his lip before he says, “I just… I want to do what’s right for Haneul.”

The words cut deeper than you expected, but you force a small smile, nodding as if they don’t sting. “That makes sense.”

Yoongi takes a step closer as he studies your face. “But what about you?” he asks, his voice almost too gentle. “How are you feeling about all this?”

The sincerity in his question takes you off guard, and for a moment, you’re tempted to tell him everything. The ache in your chest, the jealousy you hate admitting to, the fear of losing whatever connection the two of you have built. But instead, you plaster on a smile, shoving all those emotions into a corner of your mind.

“I’m fine,” you say lightly. “It’s Haneul’s birthday. That’s what matters.”

Yoongi doesn’t look convinced, his gaze lingering on you as if he’s trying to read the truth in your expression. But after a moment, he nods, letting it drop. “Okay.”

Finally, you glance at the door, forcing yourself to straighten up. “We should probably get back to the party.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, stepping aside to let you pass. But as you reach for the door, his voice stops you.

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

You turn back, your brows furrowing. “For what?”

“For everything,” he says, his eyes filled with something you can’t quite name.

You don’t know how to respond, so you just nod. Because his words—why did it feel like a goodbye?

The rest of the party passes in a blur. You keep smiling, keep laughing, keep pretending everything is fine. You stand by as Yoongi helps Haneul blow out his single candle, snapping pictures of his chubby hands smashing into the frosting. 

You’re wiping stray frosting from Haneul’s cheek when you glance at him and for a split second, you see her. Sung Kyung’s face is right there, faint but unmistakable, in the shape of his eyes and the curve of his brows.

The realization hits you like a freight train. You freeze, the cloth clutched in your hand, staring at this beautiful baby boy who isn’t yours. Who will never be yours.

It’s too much. You set the muslin down, excusing yourself to the kitchen with a muttered, “I’ll grab more drinks.”

You don’t even make it to the fridge. You stand there by the counter, gripping its edge as you force yourself to breathe, to keep the tears at bay. You’ve never felt more out of place in your life.

Namjoon finds you a few moments later, leaning against the doorway with a quiet, watchful look. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t ask if you’re okay. He just stays there, close but not too close, his presence steady and silent. You appreciate him for that—for knowing exactly what you need when you’re unraveling. He’s your best friend after all.

But even his quiet support isn’t enough to keep the emotions at bay.

Across the room, Yoongi’s eomma catches your eye. There’s something pitying in the glances she throws your way, a faint furrow of her brow that makes you want to sink into the floor. You had the feeling she knows there’s something between you and Yoongi, but now… now it feels like she’s seeing through you, like she knows exactly how small you’re starting to feel.

Because the truth is, you’re nothing.

You’re not Haneul’s mom. You’re not Yoongi’s girlfriend. You’re just someone who helps out when it’s convenient, and now that they have a nanny, you’re not even that. And it hurts. God, it hurts because you thought—maybe foolishly, maybe selfishly—that you were becoming something more. That you were becoming someone to them. That, maybe, you were becoming a family.

But now, as you stand there watching Yoongi carry Haneul to his room, barely sparing you a glance, the truth sinks in like a stone in your chest. You’re not someone. You’re a placeholder. A stand-in.

And pretty soon, just like Jiyong, they’re going to discard you. Because that’s what always happens. You’re always easy to leave behind. Always replaceable. Always useless.

The thought claws at you, and you suddenly can’t breathe. You grab your things and run. The cool night air stings your skin, but it’s nothing compared to the ache in your chest.

The tears come before you can stop them, hot and angry and full of every ounce of self-loathing you’ve tried to bury.

You glance back at the building. Maybe for the last time. You’re on the outside now—of course you are. You’ve been on the outside this entire time.

Namjoon must have noticed you were gone because he texted shortly after:

Namjoon: You okay? Namjoon: Don’t worry, I told them you weren’t feeling well. Go home and rest. Text me when you’re there.

That night, you ignored Yoongi’s call. You stared at the screen as his name lit up, your finger hovering over the answer button before you let it ring out. He left a voicemail. You deleted it without listening.

The next morning, you wake up to another call from him. This time, he doesn’t leave a voicemail. Instead, he sends a message.

Yoongi: Can I come over?

You stare at the text for a long time, your stomach twisting with guilt and anger and sadness. Finally, you type out a single word:

You: No

You throw your phone face-down on the couch, ignoring the way it buzzes again and again and again.

For the next few days, you ghost him.

It wasn’t easy. Every time your phone buzzes, you feel a pang of guilt, a deep ache that gnaws at your resolve. But you can’t bring yourself to answer. You need time. You need to figure out where you stood in all of this.

His messages come sporadically at first:

Yoongi: Hey, can we talk? Yoongi: I don’t know what I did wrong, but I want to fix it. Yoongi: Please. Just let me know you’re okay.

You delete most of them without reading too much into them. But then he starts sending pictures.

The first was of Haneul, grinning in his chair, wearing the capybara slippers you’d gifted him for his birthday.

Yoongi: Haneul misses you

The next day, another photo. This time, Haneul was lying on his playmat, still wearing the slippers, holding onto Bora.

Yoongi: Still missing you

Each message chips away at your resolve, but the one that breaks you comes Thursday evening:

A short video clip. In it, Haneul is sitting on the floor, babbling as he clutches Bora. And then, clear as day, he says it:

“Sa-ra.”

Your heart twists painfully. It’s clipped, but it’s unmistakably sarang. Your term of endearment for him, the nickname you’d called him since he started smiling every time he heard it. He’d never been able to say it back—not until now.

And Yoongi knows exactly what he is doing, sending this to you.

You stare at the screen for what feels like an eternity, leaving the video on loop, before finally opening your call log. His name was right at the top, of course. You hit the call button, your hands trembling as you bring the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” Yoongi’s voice comes through almost immediately.

You exhale shakily. “Hi.”

There was a pause. Then he speaks again, and you can hear his vulnerability. “I didn’t think you’d call back.”

You close your eyes, trying to steady yourself. “How could I ignore that video? Haneul… he said sarang.”

“Yeah, he’s been saying it non-stop since yesterday.”

You swallowed hard, gripping the phone tighter. “Yoongi… about… us.”

“Mmh?” He didn’t interrupt, didn’t rush you. He just waited.

“I’ve been thinking,” you began. “Haneul deserves to have a complete family. He deserves to know his mom, to have her in his life. If—if that’s what you both want.”

Yoongi was quiet for a long moment before he finally responded. “But… he needs you, too.”

Before you can back out, “Yoongi, I need space,” you say finally, your voice trembling.

There was a pause, and when he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Okay.”

It wasn’t a protest. It wasn’t an argument. Just… okay. It’s the most ‘Yoongi’ reaction to things, and you hate it. You hate it so much.

You hang up, staring at the screen until it goes dark. Your chest felt heavy, your heart splintering in ways you didn’t know it could.

You’d told him you needed space and he said okay. The truth is, when you said space, you just wanted him to make room for you. To assure you that you belong with them. That there is a seat, warm and yours. But he didn’t.

You miss Yoongi so much it feels like a physical ache. But it’s not just him. You miss Haneul’s face, his giggles, his sleepy weight in your arms. 

Namjoon has been doing his best to check in. He sends you UberEats nearly every other day, a steady stream of meals you barely touch. The one time he came over, unannounced, he walked into what could only be described as a disaster.

“Jesus Christ,” Namjoon muttered, kicking a stray box out of his way as he entered your apartment. The laundry basket was overflowing, your trash can piled up. You were in a 2-day old shirt, hair a rat’s nest, and you’re slouched on the couch with an empty brain.

Namjoon stared at you, his disappointment radiating off him. “Y/N, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“I’m fine,” you lied, barely looking at him.

He scoffed. “Fine? You look like you’ve been run over by a truck. Twice.”

“So dramatic.” You rolled your eyes, but the truth of his words stung.

Namjoon crouched in front of you, placing his hands on your knees. “Move in with me for now. You know I have the space. You can’t stay here like this. It’s not healthy.”

“I’m not moving in with you, Joon,” you said, shaking your head. “I’m not your charity case.”

He sighed, rubbing his temples. “You’re not a charity case. You’re my best friend. And I’m not gonna sit back and watch you drown in your own misery.”

“I’m not gonna live in your and Soyeon’s sex den,” you snapped unnecessarily.

Namjoon just looked at you, shook his head, before he flopped beside you on the couch. He fed you, forced you to go take a shower, and watched some shitty reality show with you. He eventually left, though you could feel the weight of his disappointment long after the door shut behind him. If he only knew how thankful you were of those visits.

A week later, you find yourself standing in front of Yoongi’s apartment. You didn’t plan this. You don’t even know what you’re hoping to achieve by being here. All you know is that the ache of missing them—missing him—has become unbearable.

You knock on the door before you can second-guess yourself.

Mrs. Kwon opens it, her expression immediately uneasy. “Y/N,” she says, her tone cautious. “You should come back another time.”

“Why?” you ask, your voice sharper than you intended.

She hesitates, her lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s just… not a good time.”

“I need to see them,” you insist, stepping forward.

“My dear girl, please listen—”

But you’re already past her, your determination overriding her warnings.

When you step into the living room–

Fuck.

There she is. Sung Kyung, sitting on the floor with Haneul in her lap, holding a plush toy you don’t recognize. She’s smiling at him, her voice soft as she tries to coax him into playing with it. Adding salt to the wound–Bora, the capybara plush you gave Haneul, is discarded carelessly in the corner near the diaper pail.

Your heart stops, and before you can control yourself, you take a step back, your movement catching Sung Kyung’s attention. She looks up, confused. She doesn’t know you, why would she? 

Yoongi’s voice comes from behind you, and you turn to see him emerging from his studio, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Who rang the—”

His eyes widen when he sees you, but you’re already moving, your feet carrying you toward the door in a blind rush.

“Wait—Y/N!”

You barely hear him as you bend down and snatch Bora from the floor. Haneul’s voice suddenly cuts through the air, his tiny, excited voice calling out, “Sa-ra! Sa-ra!”

Tears blur your vision as you wrench the door open and run, Yoongi’s voice calling after you, but you don’t stop.

It’s raining when you step outside. Great, because this day couldn’t get any worse. The cold droplets soak through your clothes almost instantly. You don’t have an umbrella, but you don’t give a shit. Tears stream down your face mixing with the rain.

You don’t know how far you get before you feel it—a warmth against your back, arms wrapping around you tightly.

Yoongi’s voice cracks as he says your name, his rain-soaked body like a furnace against your shivering frame. “Please.”

He sounds like he is begging, but why? What is he asking? What does he want from you?

You shake your head, your voice breaking. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come.”

“Then why did you?” he asks, his tone desperate, his chest heaving as he pulls you tighter.

“Because I thought… I thought I had a place here. But I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“Don’t say that,” he pleads, his voice barely audible over the rain as he turns you to face him. His hands come up to cradle your face. He was starting to shake too, the pads of his fingers damp against your skin. His eyes search yours, desperate, and before you can stop him—or yourself—he closes the space between you and kisses you.

Against the pouring rain, your lips press against each other, clumsy, shaky, unexpectedly urgent. His lips move like he’s trying to say all the things he can’t find the words for, like this is his only way to make you understand. And for a second, maybe a minute, maybe more, you let him.

You feel his ragged breaths as he licks into your mouth, his hair brushing your temple, droplets trailing down your skin. His hand slides from your cheek to the nape of your neck, fingers threading gently through your wet hair. It’s tender and fierce all at once, like he’s afraid you might vanish if he lets go.

But there is a tinge of bitterness cutting through the taste of his kiss. This isn’t enough—not to fix everything, not to erase the doubt clawing at the edges of your mind. Not to prevent the new thoughts from worming its way inside.

Sung Kyung is in his apartment right now. So maybe it’s not just about Haneul anymore. Maybe they’re reconciling. Trying to sort out their own feelings that they put on ice. Yoongi did say he thought their relationship was going somewhere. 

God, you do not want to be some homewrecker. You cannot do that to Haneul. Weakly you try to pull back. 

But Yoongi doesn’t let you. His lips chase yours, teeth gently sinking into your plush and you’re unable to stifle the moan from your mouth at the delicious sting. You open up to him, lips sliding against his as his other hand grips your waist now, pulling you closer until you can really feel the heat of his body through the drenched fabric of his clothes. The world feels like it’s spinning, everything is blending into a dizzying blur, and you don’t know how to stop it.

Your hand hovers at his chest, not pushing him away but not pulling him closer either. Your heart is screaming to hold on just a little longer. But your head is telling you—

“No,” you whisper, breaking away as quickly as you can without slipping on the slick ground. Your chest heaves as you clutch Bora tighter against you.

Yoongi stands frozen, his lips parted as if he’s about to speak, his dark eyes locked on yours. The rain clings to his lashes, his hair plastered to his forehead, and for a moment, he looks completely lost.

“I can’t do this, Yoongi,” you choke out, your voice shaking. “I just… I can’t.”

And before he can stop you, you turn and run again, your feet splashing through puddles as you make your way to the nearest bus stop. By some miracle, you make your way home in one piece. Barring one vital organ that’s discarded somewhere in Hannam.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I Got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could, it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad - Stan, Eminem

Your apartment is cold and quiet, the soft patter of rain against the windows the only sound. The mug of tea on your table has long since gone cold, untouched, as you sit curled up on the couch, staring at that grainy selca Yoongi sent you weeks ago. 

You’re startled out of your thoughts by the sound of the door opening. Namjoon steps in, shaking off the rain and holding a grocery bag in one hand, his hoodie slung over his shoulder. He’s soaked to the bone, but he flashes you his dimples anyway.

“You know,” he starts, setting the bag on the counter, “for someone who always claims they’re fine, you sure as hell don’t look it.”

“Don’t start, Joon,” you mumble, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself.

Namjoon ignores you, glancing around the apartment with a disapproving look. “Seriously? It still looks like you just moved in. No decorations, no warmth. This part could be a photo wall or something…”

You roll your eyes. “Alright, Mr. Art influencer.”

“I need a dry shirt,” he says, gripping the edge of his tee and pulling it up and over his head without fanfare.

You’ve never felt attracted to your best friend in any physical or sexual way ever (seriously, ew), but you can appreciate a good physique when you see one.

“Wow, Joonie, are your tiddies getting bigger?” you say as you stand to find a shirt for him from your makeshift closet.

“You’re an idiot.”

Before you can respond, the doorbell rings. Namjoon straightens, wiping his hands on his pants. “You expecting someone?”

You shake your head.

Namjoon strides to the door, glancing through the peephole with a tsk before pulling it open. He doesn’t seem to care that he’s shirtless, which would be awkward enough if it were anyone else standing there. 

But it’s Yoongi.

Yoongi stands in the hallway, his expression strained, his eyes immediately scanning the room behind Namjoon until they land on you, curled on the couch. You clutch the t-shirt you were about to lend Namjoon tighter against your chest, unsure whether to feel relief, anger, or the painful longing that’s been gnawing at you for days.

“I need to talk to her,” Yoongi says, his voice calm but heavy with emotion.

Namjoon steps into the doorway, crossing his arms as he blocks the entrance. “Maybe not today, hyung.”

Yoongi’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t flinch. “I have to. I need to explain.”

Namjoon doesn’t budge, his voice soft but firm. “Sorry, hyung. Not after everything.”

Yoongi’s eyes flick to you again, desperate. “I just… fuck,” He swallows hard, his voice breaking slightly. “I can’t let her think she doesn’t matter to me. She does. More than anyone.”

Namjoon hesitates for the first time, glancing back at you. His expression softens briefly, but when he turns to Yoongi again, it’s your voice that responds.

“Yoongi.” Your voice is quiet, but it cuts through the tension like a blade. Both men turn to you, and the hope that flashes across Yoongi’s face makes your lungs shrivel.

You grip the fabric in your hands tighter, willing yourself to stay firm. “You should go.”

Yoongi’s lips part as if to argue, but the look in your eyes silences him. He nods once, slowly, his expression crumbling for just a moment before he turns away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice so soft you almost don’t hear it.

Namjoon watches him for a moment longer before stepping back into the apartment and shutting the door.

The first step is always the hardest.

Namjoon didn’t sugarcoat anything when he told you to get your shit together. “I love you,” he said bluntly after Yoongi left that rainy night, “but you’re the only one who can pull yourself out of this. No one else is coming to save you. Not me. Not Jiyong. Not Yoongi. Just you.”

You hated hearing it, but he was right.

So you took the first step: you called a therapist. Twice a week, you sat in that tiny, clinical room and talked about everything you’d buried for years. The abandonment issues you’d carried since childhood. The shame you felt after your relationship with Jiyong fell apart. The way you constantly give pieces of yourself to others, just like you did with Haneul and Yoongi, leaving nothing for yourself. Thinking that’s okay.

Session by session, the fog began to lift. Slowly, you started to understand that happiness couldn’t come from someone else, no matter how deeply you loved them. It had to come from you—built piece by piece, nurtured, protected.

You realized that loving yourself wasn’t selfish. It was necessary. And for the first time in months, you began to believe you were worthy of it.

At home, you started small. One night, you finally tackled the pile of laundry that had been haunting you for weeks. Another night, you scrubbed down the kitchen until the counters gleamed. And then one weekend, you went to IKEA and bought a bed frame—not just a functional one, but a beautiful one that made you feel excited to wake up in the mornings.

You even hung up paintings on the walls, little pops of color that made the apartment feel like it was actually yours. Namjoon gave you some from his collection, too.

Running sucks, but it became your nightly ritual. At first, it was hard. Your legs ached, and your lungs burned. But the more you pushed yourself, the better it felt—the rush of endorphins, the rhythm of your feet hitting the pavement, the way your thoughts quieted for just a little while.

Bit by bit, you started to feel lighter. Like you were shedding layers of weight you didn’t even realize you were carrying.

And then there was Yoongi.

He was still a constant name on your phone, though the tone of his messages had shifted over time. At first, his texts were full of apologies and pleas for a second chance:

Yoongi: I know I messed up. Please let me make it right.

Yoongi: I’m sorry for everything. I hate that I hurt you.

Yoongi: I need you, Y/N. I should have told you sooner.

Yoongi: Can I come over? I really want to explain everything.

Yoongi: I’m an idiot.

Yoongi: I’ll wait for you. Just tell me when you’re ready to talk.

Then came the texts about Haneul:

Yoongi: Haneul misses you. Not to one-up my own kid, but I miss you more.

Yoongi: Han said your name today. He kept pointing at the door like he was waiting for you to walk in.

Yoongi: I bought him a new Bora. This giraffe is lame. [image attached]

Yoongi: Han’s been carrying Bora 2.0 everywhere. He even tried to feed it rice last night.

And now, weeks later, his messages had settled into something different.

Yoongi: I was in the studio all day, and Hobi made me take a break. We ended up eating too much fried chicken and now I have a zit.

Yoongi: How was your run today? Namjoon says you’re joining a mini marathon. Good luck!

Yoongi: Still have boxes of Silver Moon tea. It’s too bougie for my ghetto taste buds. Lmk if you want it. Yoongi: Actually, no need. I'll send it thru Namjoon.

Yoongi: I fucked up the choreography to our new track at Mubank today like an amateur. I hope you didn’t get to watch it.

They were simple, almost mundane. But Yoongi’s texts had a way of hitting you square in the chest. You think back to that conversation in his home, the one where he admitted how lonely he sometimes felt—how he wished for someone to talk to about the little things, the big milestones, everything in between. Someone to share life with. And now, with every message he sends, it feels like he’s choosing you.

Even though weeks have passed without seeing him, he’s still there. Reaching out. Trying to stay connected. Even when you never reply.

But his messages have become tiny bursts of dopamine in your otherwise quiet days. You’re both surprised and relieved he hasn’t stopped trying, that he hasn’t grown tired of pouring himself into the void of your Kakao.

Namjoon told you recently that Yoongi and Sung Kyung have started co-parenting Haneul. She gets supervised visits twice a month. At first, the green-eyed monster threatened to come out. But your best friend tells you that Yoongi never wanted to rekindle anything with Sung Kyung, which gave you some peace. Maybe if you’d been braver back then, you could’ve asked Yoongi yourself. Maybe if Yoongi had been better at communicating, he would have told you then it wouldn’t have felt like such an uphill climb.

But, he was also having such a difficult time, sorting through his own circumstances. And your insecurities at the time were too heavy, too overwhelming to sift through. You probably wouldn’t have believed him then. The progress you’ve made now—to love yourself first—feels hard-won and necessary. And maybe Yoongi also needed to go on a journey to really know what he wants for him and Haneul.

You’ve come to realize through all this that you don’t really hate Sung Kyung. Maybe you were angry on behalf of Yoongi and Haneul for all the secrets she kept, for the ways her choices hurt them both. There was even a night when you found yourself doing a Naver search on postpartum depression. You hadn’t understood how debilitating it could be, how it could turn even the strongest person into a shell of themselves. It didn’t excuse everything, but it gave you perspective, especially as you battle your own demons.

Still, as you journey forward, there are moments when you imagine the “what ifs” with Yoongi, if Sung Kyung hadn't showed up that day. Sometimes, late at night, your mind drifts back to him. You replay his kiss, remembering the way it felt, the way he tasted. You can still conjure the image of his face under the rain, the way he looked at you in that fleeting, heart-wrenching moment.

You wonder if he thinks about it, too. You know he’s waiting. You just hope that when you’re finally ready to let him back in, he’ll still be there—on the other side, willing to try again.

One evening, Namjoon called, his tone unusually excited. “Hey, I’ve got something for you.”

“No, I don’t need more lube, I’m stocked,” you joked, just to be a piece of shit.

“Shut up and listen,” he said, laughing. “Hybe’s opening a daycare for employees’ kids. They need someone to run it. You’re perfect for this.”

Your stomach flipped. “What? Joonie, I don’t even—”

“Don’t even try to argue,” he interrupted. “You have a degree in early childhood education. You love kids. This was your literal job in the states. C’mon, this is made for you.”

“What if I’m not ready?”

Namjoon sighed. “You are. I’ve seen how much work you’ve been putting in. You’re stronger than you think. Just… apply. The worst they can do is say no.”

You’re quiet, so he added. “...and they won’t. I’ll have each member of Bangtan sign a recommendation letter for you.”

“You’re too much, Joonie,” you laugh. But you surely won’t put it past him to do that. “But ok, I’ll apply.”

So you did. And a week later, you got the call.

Your first day at Hybe’s daycare center feels like a dream you didn’t know you had. The space is beautiful—sunlight streams through floor-to-ceiling windows, casting a warm glow over the colorful toys, tiny tables, and pastel murals. There are only three kids who pre-registered, but you were expecting more to walk in.

Namjoon is there, truly your ride or die, sitting casually on your desk with his ever-supportive grin. “You nervous?” 

“Nope,” you say, trying to sound confident. But the way your voice wavers gives you away.

Namjoon chuckles. “Relax. You’re going to crush this.”

Before you can respond, the door swings open, and in walks Hobi with Yunjin and their toddler, Jeongyeon. The little girl looks adorable in her sunflower-patterned overalls, her tiny pigtails bobbing as she walks toward the play area.

“Jeongyeon, say hi to teacher Y/N,” Yunjin says, gently guiding her forward.

“Hi!” Jeongyeon squeaks.

You crouch down to her level. “Hi, Jeongyeon! You’re gonna have so much fun today.”

“First kid of the day, ayeeee!" Hobi says, high-fiving Yunjin, before she runs to Jeongyeon who is mounting the toy pony. Then he turns to you, “Congratulations, Y/N.”

Just as they’re leaving, Namjoon nudges you. “By the way, did you know there’s a capybara mascot today?”

“What?” you blink, confused.

Before Namjoon can explain, something soft and warm suddenly envelops you in a hug. You turn to see a capybara mascot wrapping its plush arms around you, its giant head tilted adorably to the side.

“What the…” You laugh, surprised, grasping its arm. “Hybe really went all out, huh?”

Namjoon smirks. “Of course. First-day activations are a big deal here. And look at that, your favorite animal. What a coincidence.”

You grin, stepping back to look at the mascot. “Guess I’m a little biased, but this might be the cutest thing ever.”

The mascot gives you an exaggerated thumbs-up. 

Shortly, Haneul arrives. The moment you see him toddling through the door, all your nerves, all the weight you’d carried for weeks—gone. There’s no ache, no tension. Just pure, uncomplicated happiness.

His nanny, a kind older woman, walks him in, holding his hand as he peers curiously around the room.

Haneul bounds toward you giggling, his gummy smile stretching wide as he lets go of the nanny’s hand and waddles toward you.

“Hi, sarang,” you say, crouching down to scoop him into your arms. He smells like baby lotion and sunshine, and your chest feels full as he buries his face in your shoulder. “I missed you.”

You glance toward the door, your eyes darting around instinctively, but there’s no sign of Yoongi. A small pang of disappointment settles in your stomach before you shake it off. He’s probably holed up in his studio, working on something brilliant. It would have been nice to see him though.

The capybara mascot wanders over, drawing Haneul’s attention instantly. His eyes light up as he points at it, giggling.

“Appa!” Haneul says excitedly, punching the knee of the mascot with his tiny fists.

You laugh, brushing a hand through his soft hair. “That’s not your appa, Haneul. He’s probably in one of the big studios upstairs working very hard right now.”

The mascot gives you a pat on the head, and something about its movements feels oddly familiar. But you don’t dwell on it, too caught up in Haneul’s delighted squeals as the mascot does a little dance for him. It sure loves to shake its ass.

For the rest of the morning, you’re in your element, guiding the kids through activities, wiping tears, and singing songs during circle time. Every so often, Haneul points at the mascot and calls out “Appa!” again, and you can’t help but laugh.

And if the capybara mascot seems to hover a little longer around Haneul, or if it lingers near you whenever there’s a chance, well… you just chalk it up to coincidence.

(One day, much later, you’ll find out the truth. But for now, you’re content not knowing.)

That night, your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you pull it out to find another message from Yoongi.

Yoongi: Congratulations on your first day!

You stare at the screen, your thumb hovering over the keyboard. For the first time in weeks, as you look at your thread of messages from him, you let yourself smile—a small, cautious smile, but a smile nonetheless. And for the first time in months of radio silence, you type up your first reply to him.

You: Thanks, Yoongi. I’m really happy. :)

His reply came almost immediately.

Yoongi: You deserve it

And it may have taken a while, but you finally believe that. So you decide you are also finally ready to do this.

You: Can we talk? Yoongi: giv me 10 mins im cming overr

:)

A/N: 

Alright!! Wheeeew! You good? How are you feeling?!?!? As usual, please sound off in the comments. 💕

I just want to say that am so proud of this chapter. I think I wrote my best, angst work here. Plus - Kissing in the rain? Namtiddies? A taste of smau? Hee hee. 🤗 

If you make it to here, thank you so so much for reading this story, you lovely, beautiful, human! xo

Part 4 is coming uppp and it’s gonna be a doozy~ 🤭

P.S. As some of y’all know I am a mom and I have experienced post-partum depression before. It was nowhere near the severity of how it is depicted here (a condition that is grave and rare because the character also has other mental struggles), but I empathize. I cannot imagine being truly unfit to care for my own baby. So I request that we do not vilify L&L! LSK. She fucked up real baddd, she could’ve involved Yoongi earlier, etc etc but again she is trying to do better. Plusss, it needs to be said, she does not want Yoongi. Gasp. Y’all can rest easy. He’s yours! 💕

& If you want to read more of my work, please check out my masterlist. & If you enjoy my work and want to buy me a ko-fi, I'd appreciate it.

Taglist:

@yoongznme @nnybtitts08 @rinkud @nbjch05 @perfectiondazesworld

@marnz1990 @mxrauds @queenbloody @jadestonedaeho7 @futuristicenemychaos

@direnediane @glossdebut @maryhopemei @theresstardustinmyblood @mggv97

@wobblewobble822 @kam9404 @supernoonanyc @damn-u-min-yoongi @ot72025

@busanbby-jjk @granataepfelchen @jajabro @tarahardcore @marihoneywk

@ryryvna @tea4sykes @mar-lo-pap @lilkittenjenjen

@captainchrisstan @thelittlecatonthecake

@flaneuseonthestreets @sexytholland @diamonddia-mond

@yronathaniel @as-hs-blog @amarssfanfic @mafersame @amarawayne

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@jkkkkkay @chimmisbae @angellekookie @jovanaprime @txtsoobean @joonlovely

@kookiewithluv @soop-sprite @hyukaluve

[chuelectrico20]

Movie Tails appreciation post

Idk why I've been having Tails brainrot lately, especially movie Tails, so i wanted to put my thoughts out there about him mainly bc I think he's really underappreciated in his character compared to Sonic and Knuckles who have more animated personalities and Shadow who's well you know Shadow lol.

First off his introduction, already the basics he's a kid genius and admires Sonic greatly though in this iteration it's important to note he actually goes out of his way to find Sonic (see pre-quill comic for more info) so he already has a great deal of independence for himself. In this, though, while he can take care of himself in some ways, it comes from a necessity as he was outcast from his village, and in the novel, it's implied he was abandoned.

Likely being isolated for the majority of his life (hey, like Sonic!) he's kinda socially inept, like when he's explaining he was basically stalking Sonic for months (to be fair Sonic also did this with the Wachowski's), fanboying during the car escape with a confused Sonic, or when he tried telling Sonic everything will be ok when Tom got hit by Shadow. He's like the most mature out of the 3, but that doesn't mean he understands everything. He's only like 8 or younger, and he still needs guidance at the end of the day.

Add to that point, I just generally appreciate how they don't forget how Tails is the youngest. He got so happy seeing the live Chao show he was clapping along and everything that's just plain cute! His age is also easily recognizable in his character design, both because of his more stubby stature and bigger forehead. (I always go aww when he's on screen)

Back to his genius side, what's a Tails without gadgets and his gadgets also tell alot about him. Tails relies a lot on his gear, which makes sense, and, more importantly, his gadgets are his way of connecting with others to show them he's someone with something to offer. This comes back to his abandonment issues. He puts a lot of worth in them because without them, he doesn't feel like he's worth a lot, let alone friends or family. Even when he finally reached Sonic, he didn't think that Sonic would want him to come along. When he says lines like "Tails was just excited to be included." or goes along with the Team Sonic name and is the most adamant about being a team he's trying so hard not to be abandoned again.

And now I wanna highlight some moments i personally love

-he's the only one to put the down the Chao head without throwing it

-giving Unit a chance and wanting to keep him (using puppy eyes too lol)

-they let him pilot the GUN helicopter🥺

Okay that's it thanks for reading my ramblings to the end 💛

[tiredhermitgirl]

Matt & Frank Castle

I think what is absolutely crazy and why I am a Fratt shipper is that Frank is one if not the ONLY person who can handle Matt in the way he needs to be handled.

Disclaimer: this is based off of their relationship in the Tv show NOT anything in the comics!

But anyway! I just feel like Matt is that special type of character where you WANT to be soft with him, swaddle him up and beat the shit out of anyone who makes him feel like shit BUT in the same vein you want to shake him and beat him over the head until he makes good choices!

Foggy is way too soft, even at his maddest and Karen is way too harsh and is very similar to Matt in that she will avoid and walk away if something becomes too much.

But Frank is the perfect mix between hard and soft. He knows when to push Matt but he is also quick to be open and soft and this interaction that we got on Episode 4 really highlights that.

He pushed and pushed Matt until he got the reaction he wanted but when he noticed Matt breaking his tone got so soft. He voluntarily shared a little bit of his grief because he UNDERSTANDS. And when he knows that Matt is being honest about something he shuts the fuck up. The way he let Matt talk about how good Foggy was and then just let him leave???

Karen wouldn’t have done that. I don’t even think Foggy would have let him or Foggy would have left first. Neither would Electra because all of them would HAVE to get the last word in. But Frank let him say what he really felt and left and I find that so important for a character like Matt.

And you know it is out of character because earlier in the conversation Frank kept on getting the last word. “What about old Foggy? Did he get life?” That was so foul! 😭 But I also think that Frank is a mirror to Matt. Frank knows EXACTLY what Matt is feeling and similarly, they both have NO ONE they can talk to to process that grief. Except where there is Frank who explodes and goes on a killing spree, Matt is suppressing SEVERELY because he is trying to honor Foggy and what he would have wanted.

It really makes me wonder if Frank did something similar. Did he try to suppress it and “do the right thing?” The kind of thing that Maria and his kids would have wanted him to do? And it also reminds me of Magneto from X-Men Apocalypse where Charles told him “would your family have wanted this?” And Magneto rebuttals with “They would have wanted to live!”

I just love Matt and Franks dynamics because I feel like Frank can actually relate to Matt in a way that no one else can. Not even Elecktra (sorry for the shippers). And I think because he relates to Matt so much, he can see where this is headed and in his own way doesn’t want Matt to fall off the deep end like he did.

Long story short the Fratt shippers ate good today!

[theshepherdshound]

how much younger are leshy and heket to narinder in this? did he ever have to do babysitting duty?? and if so, did he love it or loathe it? (feel free to consider babysitting duty as a doodle request if you don't want to but you don't have to lmao)

O DARN THIS IS A BIG THOUGHT, the short answer is all of them are around 3-6 years apart? depending on who's who and where, though i don't really have a like full thought on a timeline beyond that. kallamar isn't that long after narinder in terms of joining their little family- and is still older than him in that regard (narinder likely being around 4/5 and kallamar being around 8/9- so not much older, but keeps canon-ish). the main thing being that they are all children when they get crowned, meaning they're all emotionally stunted in ways that allow them to dehumanize non gods

(also featuring narinder sneaking food to heket because she is well... cursed with the existential hunger of her godhood)

so like... the narinder in my mind is deeply parentified. shamura is for better or worse, not a great parent because none of them are really fully cooked emotionally, sort of more explained but is character relevant/thematically spoilery if it's a thing you don't wanna read

because a lot of what i wanted/want to write about is how intergenerational trauma affects relationships, the change of perspective of family over time, and the unintended harm all of that can do- it's important that narinder is the barrier between the depersonalization he's trained in from shamura to be shielded from his siblings through him. it's why them having a period of time between them is important to build that relation

i'll continually stress until the end of time that i don't think of shamura as being intentionally abusive in this regard; they think what they're doing is right to protect narinder in the ultimate goal of surviving in a court of gods. they, for all of their faults, love him and think they're doing the right thing. the result however is narinder has little to no sense of self beyond his duty to them and his family, and it is his (and their) eventual undoing

it is also the root of why he understands that baal may never forgive him for doing the same thing to the brothers. that he leaks out his trauma onto them and while aym might understand he was doing his best he has to accept that baal may never get there- because he hasn't and may never be able to forgive shamura. that's kind of the thing that happens, you try and shift or change the ways in which you were hurt when raising kids, and in turn hurt them in new ways

they are, ultimately, the root of all of the abuse he receives throughout a period of his life because he has no ability to set up boundaries unless he's lying, and the only way he knows how to lie is to protect his family

he does/did like babysitting though- even now he likes hanging out with kids because they don't scheme against him

[princessleiana]

astrology moon sign observations 💋ྀིྀི

segment two

princess leiana astrology xoxo ⋆. 𐙚 ̊

11th moon house natives

A lot of people don't talk about how 11th-house natives actually have not the best relationship regarding their mother. I noticed that a lot of times with this placement people can have mothers who prioritize friendships, gossip about a child's business, aren't completely aware of how to emotionally support a child, or even have a child unexpectedly resulting in negative outcomes as it connects to a child's upbringing. Their relationship can also be good one second and the next it's crumbling. This also contributes to why an 11th house native can be isolated when it comes to dealing with emotional turmoil and actually begin to not like being around people who are very unpredictable as it resembles their mother. If you have this placement it is very important to understand your circumstances in your childhood and know you are not alone. And it is completely normal to go through ups and downs but it is very important to not pick up on unpredictable or unpleasant traits from your mother/mother figure. I also noticed with this placement a lot of people intellectualize their emotions and try and give solutions to themselves often not letting themselves feel the emotion in the given moment. Childhood may have brought you to an understanding of emotional connections early on in life. Many outcomes regarding relationships with the native mother are either absent, close relationships after childhood, or resentment. There is often an untraditional relationship between the native and the mother's relationship. Your friends may look to you for support and think you have great knowledge regarding emotional connections. You may consider your friends closer to you than family members and even feel more comfortable expressing yourself to your friends. These natives may also have a friendship relationship with their mother or have a mother who often treats them like a friend.

Leo sun + Aquarius moons

This is such an interesting combination people don't talk about enough. I think with every sun sign we get a different version based on your chart especially with your moon sign. The Leo sun and aquarius moon combination is a leo that embodies the energy to want to be seen & wants to be heard but values the connection within others. These people are incredibly smart and love to debate and share ideas amongst people. There is a calling to be seen when embarking on your independence but you don't sway away from human connection. These people are really aren't afraid to be themselves. I find with this placement these people do good in pop culture. These people love drama lowkey but in a way where they love breaking it down especially when something looks dumb. They aren't afraid to share their opinions regarding the population and topics the collective gravitates to. But these people do struggle with finding balance between creative expression and putting their self-expression outward vs being detached and rebellious. I find people with placement have a magnetism to them that compels people to always want to get their opinion regarding them or caring what this native might perceive them as. There is a certain magnetism to these natives people catch on quite quickly and every person with placement is a person who has a splash of uniqueness in their character It is pretty amusing and bold. But these people struggle with acceptance at times. Having fixed energy in the sun & the moon makes this native quite stubborn at times, especially in debates. But these natives are so loyal to friendships and literally are the best support system. They love being around their friends and watching them be together and feeling like they can make people unite. These natives loved to feel belonged and wanted.

Cancer moons with a 10th degree

These natives may have experienced a lot of emotional events in their lives that will forever stick in their paths and have shaped them into who they present themselves to be. There is a strong relation to how structure was represented in your home life as a child and that is often a theme. I think with this placement some one may have tried to guide this native to be conscious of how they represent their emotions in public or something even regarding that. These natives can be conscious of expressing themselves in public nature. These people are very good for comfort emotionally and can give a sense of authority in comfort. They may have played a mothering/fathering role or this can be in relation to having to grow quickly regarding home life and emotions. These people are actually more patient and observant with their emotions as cancer moons feels things quite often but these natives may have taught themselves the skill to be patient or observant with their emotions and the emotions of others. These natives are more susceptible to catching on to depression so I would be wary or they struggle with feeling sad. This placement can indicate this person being able to bring stability to home life especially when parenting. Tradition may be a theme in this native's life. This native may have had to play some traditional role within their home or even expectations. These natives have a lot of resilience.

written originally by me, don’t not steal writing.

let me know your opinions, did this resonate? :)

[foibles-fables]

Hey Foibs! Saw your reblog on Asley Willians >.> I wanted to ask more about it. But I am a bit afraid that I just started playing Mass Effect and don't want any spoilers. But isn't she..... a bit too much huh... racist? Does it get better over time? I mean, she is such a badass :~ but the racist part is totally a turn-down for me.

I'm going to start with a general statement and then work my way to your specific questions: Ashley Williams's character arc over the trilogy is an absolutely fantastic one--IMO, it's the most powerful. It's subtle on the surface, but if you know what you're looking for, it hits hard. For that reason she's my Femshep's unbroken canon LI, even if it's only in my head.

As for your specific questions re: racism/spacism--I do encourage some re-examining there. Since I'm not sure how far you are in the game and don't want to spoil anything, I'm going to keep my comments on this specific post on the vaguer side. However, I'll definitely refer you to @cannot-rest's awesome Spacism Debunker masterpost for when you get a little farther in the game/trilogy, as well as this video analysis of her character.

Is Ashley's attitude at the beginning of ME1 a positive one, or presented in a good light? No. From the jump it's the antithesis of what the series eventually has to say about unity. But then, isn't the council's hemming and hawing attitude towards humanity also that same antithesis? So are comments made by Wrex, Garrus, Mordin--and especially when the latter two ARE members of actual dominant sociopolitical powers in the galaxy. Of which humans are not, and have been labeled as "aggressive" as a side effect of the First Contact War debacle.

And besides--doesn't a character need a flaw from which to grow?

To that I'll add: Ashley's flaw isn't "she's racist." That's Pressley. It's a lack of self-esteem brought on by her family baggage--which, when taken into consideration, puts her mistrusting attitudes into perspective. It doesn't make them right, but it makes them make sense. Especially considering that her main comments re: not trusting the others on the Normandy are very much security/military concerns. Which, again, tie into her family history and how it's impacted her until present day.

(it's already known that the "aliens from the animals" line is bugged dialogue. And that the "throwing your dog at a bear" metaphor has been misinterpreted by fans. See the link above for delineations of that.)

I also encourage comparing her attitudes to the ACTUAL anti-alien/human supremacy folks: Pressley, the Terra Firma party (to whom she reacts with disgust), and another organization that will become important in ME2 (to whom she reacts with even more disgust).

All in all, Ashley is a phenomenal and flawed character with a fantastic throughline on her arc, and is also widely (if not understandably) misinterpreted, and it makes me really sad that so many folks write her off from the opening moments of the first game.

[azaharinflames]

"Tim does love to mention Eddie and we've already seen he loves shipbaiting." - It really gets annoying, but I'm not surprised he isn't clear about it, like Aisha was. I think he still seems to think that the show would fall apart if he outright says Bvddie won't happen. I want to be like other BuckTommy fans, saying that it couldn't be more clear, but I just don't like that Eddie is once again a topic. I know lots of BuckTommy fans say it was necessary to put a stop to it, but somehow it just made me mad, because I don't trust Tim.

"I love Maddie Han (Buckley) but like… some of her scenes this season have me questioning my love for her. Like. She could do better. " - That's another thing. She always says this weird things to Buck, like she doesn't know her brother at all, like in 7x4, where she implied she wouldn't put it past him to hook up with a married woman.

Hi, Nonnie!

I do agree that it does feel like Tim is a bit too afraid to fully kill Buddie. Tbh I took this as 'have them write fanfiction' (paraphrasing) 2.0, but I can also see how frustrating it is, for everyone really. He doesn't want to lose that uncertainty, even tho he made sure to kill the possibility of Buddie in the show.

Here is what I think: he deliberately sent that message to Buddies to play with them and keep them engaged, even when he knows he doesn't have any intention of following through. Interviews are not something the GA reads - it is, however, something the Buddies do read to try to find 'hidden' messages and clues. Tim is aware of this and decided to play with them. But, at the end of the day? What is important is what we see on screen. And he was very clear with that.

I do understand you being mad at this, though, don't think I'm not. It is frustrating, and maddening. And I seriously hope that the show takes the chance, reconciles Bucktommy, and stops bringing Eddie as any point of contention between them. So the audience knows, ofc, but also to stop the baiting.

I've been saying it, but it does feel like the writers don't know how to write the dynamics of the 118 anymore. We haven't had a good-feel scene with them in a long time, they for some reason feel like co-workers and not family, and that extends to Maddie, too. Her scenes with Buck have been, at best, odd. Their sibling dynamic is there still, but different, and not necessarily in a good way.

My inbox is open for ranting, venting, giving your opinion (unpopular or popular, I'm happy to receive and discuss both), and even confessions! Though if you don't want yours posted, please make sure to say :)

Take care <3

[myownperception83]

Unconnected rambles down

Gotta love seeing the duality of teenage girls.

Van enables Lottie's delusions a lot because of her own near death experience and gets influenced about the whole Wilderness deal, probably to avoid the responsibility of all their actions. She often takes the side of the majority who rely on Lottie to know everything because she's supposed to have the closest relationship to It and to magically know everyting, to then completely disregard her as soon as summer comes and blame everything that happens to her despite the numerous reinforcing enablements.

First, they all mock her because she sees things and asks Taissa if she ate dirt. They know she's not adjusting well and are obviously spooked about the seance. Then the bear comes, and reverence shows its way, then it's the birds and knowing Javi's alive and the birds and finding Shauna in the blizzard.

They see her as untouchable, connected with the beyond. And then we're back to square one. She doesn't hear It anymore, and so she panics and does everything in her power to satisfy It and to connect with It. She'll do anything to protect her own, even harm, even kill, even hurting the others without realizing.

Except, she wants to protect Nat not because the Wilderness asked it, but because she CHOSE to.

I mean from one side, I understand that her character is mostly tied to the whole It, but I feel like it's also extremely limiting to her growth. What about her own volition? What about her illness? What about her family situation or how she interacts with the others (who aren't Akilah or Travis)? What about the reminiscence of the past? I feel like these aspects should be explored as well.

Nat, on the other hand, is a pariah and has always been, even as a leader. She doesn't want to overstep because she knows intrinsically that she isn't safe. She almost got hunted to death. She survived because of a child's compassion.

Everybody shits on her and shuts her out because she clings fervently to her morals, a thing of old in the wild and they treat her horribly when Shauna pushes them to, but at the same time when clarity and rationality is required they immediately look up to her for guidance.

I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more resentment on her side (but that s just me and maybe other possible version of the characters).

Both Lottie and Nat are in dangerous positions. Lottie can have extreme influence on the others, but it can also backtrack really fast when they take it too far or when her schizophrenia takes more hold of her, as seen in the last episode. She is both a scapegoat, the metaphorical and literal piñata and the priestess. She always had to hide a significant portion of herself, always in the shadows, in the corners. During winter, she was never at the center but always lurking by the windows and the sidelines. Especially when they brought the attention to her, you can see she painfully wants to disappear. Even when she's in "charge," I don't think she ever feels fully comfortable. She's reserved, frowning, and tired.

Nat is forever excluded but always demanded when the real crysis demand it. She's always been tough and had to grow up and conceal what she really felt, but she has a breaking point too and I can't wait to see how it'll go.

Both of them are extremely compassionate and trying to keep everything going forward and keep the pack tight in their own way. Compassion in survival is really important for social contexts, but also a flaw perceived as weak or being taken advantage of, as is forgiveness and self hate. Both things Nat, in particular, really embodies.

Moving forward. Lottie can give Nat the influence she herself doesn t have. No one dares to go against Lottie after everything. During high risks situation she always manages to either de-escalate or divert the attention to turn it into her favour. That also ties with her risk-taking ideology seen with stealing from tj max.

Directly or indirectly, Lottie can keep Natalie safe. It's probably her number one priority, even more than the Wilderness, considering she goes against the flow and the majority twice already to save her life and the "I just want you to be safe."

Ok I lost the point anyway back to Van.

At the same time, when the thrill of the hunt boils down, she frees a frog. It's humane. It's merciful. It's what a moral person would do.

And then she asks if two characters have gotten together from a show she likes.

I mean, come on, ahah.

[wordsandrobots]

What are your thoughts on the relationship between Mineva and Haman and whether or not Haman cared for her beyond being a political puppet? SRW V put forth the idea that Haman may have had some genuine care for her and leaves Mineva with a lot of conflicting feelings on who was essentially family to her

Hmm.

So I was struck when I was rewatching Zeta episodes for the analysis of Haman that one of the first things she says about Mineva that isn't official-speak is calling the seven year old puppet-queen a coward.

I don't think there's any question that Zeta shows Mineva holding affection for Haman. It's very clear she is by far the most trusted figure in her life. But we are also told, almost immediately, that Haman has little sympathy for her over what is a fairly natural response to violence breaking out among the adults surrounding her. Later, Mineva says that Char understands her better than anyone else, which is interesting and ironic, but also points to her dependence on Haman having its limits.

Nevertheless, Mineva goes out of her way to defy Haman's instructions in order to return to the battlefield and share a warning when things spiral out of control. And Haman is surprised, evidently not for the first time, by the child's perceptiveness. So their relationship is not as simple as Mineva dancing to a tune set by her guardian. She has her own will and desires, and if those are a problem for Haman, there's no sense that she is overly restrictive of Mineva beyond what would be expected of the girl's position (etiquette, public relations, towing the party line - honestly, Char's reaction is at once valid and wildly naive).

Indeed, I think it's important to bear in mind that Haman's style of leadership is just generally quite publicly pleasant to those around her. I don't mean she never raises her voice or gets sharp, but rather that she has a very firm, very level, very confident persona that doesn't ever descend into you have failed me for the last time type excesses. She might brainwash and manipulate people on her side, but she doesn't get directly abusive to their faces (unless they prove themselves her enemy, at which point all bets are off). One of the reasons the break in Dakar works so well is because Judau scares her enough to drop the act and barrel furiously through her guards.

It's not really a surprise, in context, that Haman would be relatively kind to Mineva. That's the smart choice, especially since it is vitally important she control someone who, though young, outranks her. Mineva can simply decide to go off with a bunch of random kids, or move around on her own, or send Haman a bowl of (presumably expensive) fresh fruit as a gift, and there's not a lot anyone can do to contradict her. If there were, the entire underpinning of Neo Zeon society would collapse. You don't get to argue with the monarchy.

Under these conditions, it's also not a surprise Haman would swap the real Mineva out for a more pliable double when she needs to start making big moves (checking the Wiki, it asserts that Char took her away after the Gyps incident, but I don't think that's necessarily the implication from the end of ZZ - certainly it's never stated outright why Haman replaces her and the double must have been prepared ahead of time). We really have extremely little material where the real Mineva is interacting with Haman. Everything in Gundam ZZ has to be assumed to be the double, who we know doesn't believe Haman cares about her. We can additionally assume Haman preserving the double's safety is about maintaining the illusion, because if she doesn't, her authority is in jeopardy. She's already got Glemy true-Scotsmanning his way into a Zeon schism; she can't afford to lose her status as regent because it looks like she lost the queen.

So where does that leave Haman's feelings towards the real Mineva?

In my opinion, we're given too many reasons to read Haman's actions as cynical to attribute any of them to genuine affection. Haman is defined by her loneliness and there's nothing in their interactions to suggest Mineva does anything to ease that. I don't see how she could, given she is so thoroughly embedded in the structure Haman is subverting. Mineva is a figure, first and foremost, her actual personality and feelings secondary to her status as the thing to be controlled in order to achieve a certain result.

I think Hamann is presented as showing genuine care for Mineva, but the implied motivations are always self-serving and based on what would make life easiest. Quite often, the best means of getting what you want is to be nice about it.

And that would surely still leave Mineva with a lot of complicated feelings to work through. Heck, one of the things I would genuinely love to see as a UC spin-off (even though I think the franchise is massively over-saturated with tUC spin-offs) would be a follow-up focused on Mineva and her double getting to have a conversation about Haman. We never found out what happened to that other girl and it feels like a big missed opportunity.

Anyway, those are all the thoughts I currently have. Thanks for the ask!

[splinterofpandora]

{BrightKnightUpcoming} <---------------------

-------------don't miss part 14 by tag💡💡💡

Recommendations. Base of modern classics.

To understand any topic, you need a quick navigation through it. I prefer personalized lists, as I've always felt that the “must read” format just gets in the way of proper fandom development and greatly reduces the diversity of voices in a thread. However, this works for long-lived universes. Those that already have a good baseline. We're talking about a new topic, so we need proper lists.

I used 3 items for this. We start with the ideas of the past, which are heavily dominated. Then the balance between the old and the new. And our theme at the end.

Part One. Unhealthy Beaten Batman.

Batman: White Knight has a beautiful turning point between the past and the future. You have Bruce, who didn't get to meet happiness enough, but who hasn't felt so much injustice that it breaks him as a hero. From the old here's the approach. Fighting to the end, family confrontations, darkness deep inside Bats. Plus some roles.

On the other hand, the status quo changes in the sequel. And the third part breaks the pattern of Batman's constant pursuit of purpose. Murphy's whole world is about legacy. You understand why Wayne became like this. Why Alfred had to die. Why Harley isn't a villain anymore. Speaking of motivation, there's a lot of thoughts here about the functions of the cape. As well as the relationship of the Knight's legacy to society. That's why we need Sean in his entirety. Curse, Beyond, Presents...you got it!

It was surprising even to me. Batman: Soul of the Dragon sees the difference between obsession and striving. Not much Wayne here, but you can see how the boy who doesn't know how to stop turns this around in his favor. Moreover, we're talking about unique old fighting movies vibe, working with team without lead it, relationship trying.

No, I'm not crazy. You really should try The Jiro Kuwata Batmanga. We're talking about Bruce + society. But often cheats and is above the rest of the people here, just like in the old days. On the other hand, this is a largely loyal to Justice person with a big heart and long arms. I think it's similar to Rebirth. He has a good relationship with Dick. Doesn't think he's better than him. Occasionally learns from Robin. Is a teacher himself. Not kinda legal person. But not the vigilante type too. Sentai character like.

Part two. Wait! He is real! He is really real!!!

Multiple choices let you see him go from being a completely bad person to the nicest guy in the building. Batman: The Telltale Series shows the transformation of someone who can't sleep into someone who changes Gotham by human steps. You can help Gordon with your word like Bruce. You can agree to live with Selina. You can leave town. Just tell Wayne he has a right to be happy. You'd be surprised how much this world will change.

Two approaches from Batman: The World. "Funeral" is important for bigger perspective. Because I'm not saying he can't be dark and creepy now. It's about a new level of connection with people. He knows when your soul is not ok. He helps the ghost because he believes in proper retirement.

Number two is "Closed for the Holidays". It's very easy. Being Batman is cool. He really loves it. He's found happiness because of it. Why delete it? Wayne on vacation is boring.

Briefly, because we had a conversation about it. You introduce Batman separately from Bruce to then make them one. You see him making Robin's life better by believing in her. Not by dragging her down into his dark world. But it's also trauma, and you see the results of living without fully analyzing yourself. You can see the obsession beneath the smile. Batman: Creature of the Night is the best jumping point. It's talented, so kind.

Part Three. The new is a mirror of the old.

I know what you're thinking. Oh, this guy just took the happiest versions. He's really not very smart person. But that's not my point.

Batman: Universe works because Bruce is really enjoying the ride. Batwheels is about family. He's healthy and the best dad to his kids. Batman'66 has an epic poem about Wayne loving life. He respects the Law so much that he's willing to go to jail to prove that the system works. You say it's an obsession. I'll say no, because he knows he'll be free soon. The idea is not to save the system at all costs. It's about Faith. And he trusts even the Joker. Everyone can change.

And of course you have all those funny, little ridiculous, and loving heartfelt Batman stories from the Golden, Silver, Bronze ages! And we've been here before, really? Check it!

Final words and acknowledgements.

I remember Adam West's memorial ceremony well. The city used the Batsignal back then. A beautiful gesture of love...

I loved Adam because he was Batman in the real life. He loved the fans, he helped the kids. However, he wasn't Dark because...well, it's not just the series' vibe. He was always smiling, showing a willingness to talk. That's why he...and afterward the whole world...called himself The Bright Knight.

I'm the Bright Knight, I'm not the Dark Knight with all the violence and the explosions. No, my work conveys laughter, curiosity, and good feelings.

Now you know why I chose that title for the post series. I know there's a lot of pain in Batman. And I love him for it, because I've been well aware of what it means to feel pain since I was a kid. I know when you're alone. When the world is trying to destroy you. I love Bruce's battle. But you always do it for someone. I mean, he really didn't believe in himself much. He didn't die just because the mission was more important than him. More important than the man. Than human body.

So when he found his first Robin...and then another. When he found Helena, when he met Stephanie, when he helped Gotham Girl...he realized which things really matter.

When I think about his story, I see that it's different. But every variation of it protects us with absolute loyalty. Adam is amazing because he made it fun. Funny gadgets, clever tips, memorable look. He was perfect!

He was showing love for Humanity. I mean, it was like the comic books, but without the dark violence. That's why he's so important.

Speaking of equally important people. The first thing, @beerrej did was help me with good advice on choosing titles and individual phrases. She kept this cycle going and it took +/- month for writing. Thanks, Lima!

Last but not least there is @la-guarido-del-perrozorro. We've been talking at length about Bruce since way back...wait, Gotham War ended when???????

Cool conclusions, smartest ideas, and good spirits is She. Oh, and the arts inspire me!

Thanks for reading, guys! And I look forward to your responses, because...that's what fandom stands for, I guess.

[anatolienne]

im honesty glad that i lived away from my family for 4 years bcs of school

[turtleblogatlast]

I think a lot about Leo standing up for his brothers in the things that really matter to them.

Like- Leo is the one who immediately pushes Mikey and Donnie into finding Raph the second it’s clear that their oldest brother is missing because he knows Raph can’t handle being separated like that.

Leo is the one who stands up for Mikey when Mikey wants to go on a solo mission, actively vouching for him and being the one to convince Raph into letting Mikey go, because being independent and proving himself just as capable of standing on his own two feet as everyone else means so much to Mikey.

And Leo defends Donnie’s honor in particular when his brothers’ intelligence is insulted because Leo is well aware of how important Donnie’s smarts are to him - and how important having those smarts valued and acknowledged is as well.

All this goes right into just how well Leo knows his brothers. For as much as he’ll tease or fight with them, he knows them, and he loves them.

[borgialucrezia]

something something cesare always falling for rodrigo's ploy to pit him against his younger brother by rubbing in the fact that juan leads the papal army (aka cesare's greatest desire) so he mocks juan out of bitterness at every chance vs. rodrigo threatening juan to strip out his position (aka his honor and entire sense of being despite his incompetence) and giving it to cesare but juan doesn't fall for their father pitting him against his older brother and doesn't spitefully put him down but only begs their father not to take it away...

[sweetpapercroissant]

i don’t get the appeal of an incest ship if you’re only ever going to focus on the good romantic feelings and not the icky negative ones. the resentment the feeling of being trapped shackled wanting out and away from the person who knows so much too much about you since before you even knew to not allow it but at the same time you can’t imagine living in a world without them being away is like tearing a limb a piece of your soul you will never again be complete without them. no one else will ever understand you the way they do no one else will ever get so deep under your skin and you may hate it but you hate the thought of them not being there even more you can’t stand to see anyone else get to a part of them you didn’t and even worse when they get it before you. you push and you push and you push but when they let go it’s like you’re free falling and it doesn’t matter how far away you run you will never be far enough away because you carry them inside you everywhere you go. you tell yourself you want nothing more than to get away but they’re the only home you will ever have and you won’t ever let anyone get that close you’re already moulded to only fit in perfectly with them and you didn’t have a choice but this is who you are. there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go but there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go. you want to be so close to them you want to merge your bodies into one you hate how crowded you feel when they’re in the same room like they’re sucking in all the air and there isn’t any left for you and you want to get away so you can just breathe but you don’t even want to breathe in the air that hasn’t passed through their lungs first you hate that you feel this way you wish you could claw it out of your veins but then who would you be without it without them you want so much and it’s so ugly and you’re ashamed of how raw that need is how you want every part the good the bad the human you wish none of this had ever happened you feel dirty you never even had a chance to find something else be something else but then you look over and you love them so much so much and when it comes down to it nothing else was ever going to be enough for you anyway.

[asterbats]

i think for the shitty scorpion family, their entire dynamic is definitely toxic (heh) but also neither dusk nor bruno is an inherently terrible person? its just that they’re a) horrible together longterm as they are and b) people who should not have had kids.

[tahbhie]

Creating Emotionally Devastating Scenes.

Crafting a scene that earns the total sympathy of your readers can be challenging, but it's not impossible. Most emotionally devastating scenes fail at two things, but when these are done right, the results can be powerful.

⚪ The Important Concepts for Writing an Emotionally Devastating Scene

1. The Build-Up,

2. Breaking the Dam.

Before I explain these concepts, let me share a case study.

⚫ Case Study

I wrote a story about a young orphan named Jackie and her younger brother. Their village was burned down, leaving them as the only survivors.

For the next few chapters, readers followed their painful journey and their struggle to survive. The younger brother had a heart problem, and Jackie vowed to become a cardiologist to save him.

She was very ambitious about it, but at the time, it was very ironic. Later in the story, when they encountered a tragic living condition with a family, the brother died while telling his sister how much he missed their parents.

When her brother was fighting for his life, she was sent out of the room, only to be let in again to see his cold, lifeless body.

⚪ Explanation of Concepts

1. The Build-Up

The build-up is extremely important when you aim to convey strong emotions. Here's a secret: if you plan for a scene with strong emotions, start leaving breadcrumbs from the very beginning of the story.

Take the previous case study. I carefully built up their journey so people could easily relate and feel the pain of the older sister during her brother's sudden death.

You need to give the situation enough reason to feel utterly hopeless and devastating. Gradually cultivate the tension until it's ready to let loose.

⚫ Understanding the Use of Breadcrumbs.

Breadcrumbs in stories ensure you utilize the time you have to build up certain emotions around your characters.

At the beginning of my story, Jackie’s fate was already pitiable, but she survived every hurdle. This gave the readers enough to feel for her while still leaning away from the outcome. When I built enough, I introduced her brother's sudden death.

Hence, leave your breadcrumbs while leaning away from the outcome.

⚪ How to Properly Leave Breadcrumbs

When building up your story, consider these elements:

☞⁠ Character Relatability: The characters need to be realistic to draw readers into the story. This helps readers invest themselves in your story.

☞⁠ Realistic Emotional Pain: Just as characters need to be relatable, their emotions need to be realistic and not appear forced.

☞⁠ Create a Strong Emotional Attachment: Give them something they care about or that has the power to ruin their lives in any way. It could be something that makes them happy or something their happiness relies on. When it's time, snatch it away without remorse.

☞⁠ Have a Backstage Struggle: This struggle keeps readers occupied, so they won't see the outcome coming. For example, Jackie’s constant struggle to find food and shelter keeps readers engaged while the impending tragedy looms in the background.

☞⁠ Attach Believable Elements: For a realistic character, emotion, and struggle, attach believable elements. It could be death, ailments, sickness, disorder, disappointment, failure, etc.

Now that we've covered the build-up, let's move on to the next crucial part.

2. Breaking the Dam

This is when you make your readers feel the strong emotions alongside your characters. All the tension you’ve been building up is released, making all emotions come into play.

☞⁠ Break Your Strong Attachment: Cut off your strong attachment from your character when they least expect it or at a point when they couldn't use more struggles (i.e when they are helpless).

This will not only evoke readers’ emotions but also pique their curiosity as they wonder how the character will survive the situation.

☞⁠ Description of Sensory Details to Invoke Emotions: The advice of "show, don't tell" will be really helpful here. It's crucial to ensure that the final execution matches the build-up.

A well-crafted build-up can fall flat if the emotional release isn't handled effectively. To avoid this, blend the climax seamlessly into the narrative, making it feel natural and impactful.

Reblog to save for reference! 💜