#ignore this post i’m in a bad mood and need to complain on the internet

[chellyfishing]

if you want to read bg3 fic i sure hope you like astarion bc that’s all there fucking is

[flosbelova]

I’ll Always Protect You

florence pugh x fem!reader

warnings: mention of death threats.

word count: 1.7k

summary: you and florence had been dating for a while. when she posts you on her Instagram, you receive a bunch of hate comments and florence defends you and your relationship.

request from @the-loving-quotes​

Dating Florence Pugh has been one of the greatest decisions you have ever made in your life. You both have managed to keep your relationship lowkey until she randomly posts you on her Instagram. It was a photo of you looking at this mountain view at sunset from the balcony. She captioned it “My happy place.” 

Your heart started to race as soon as you saw a photo of yourself on her Instagram-- and the fact that she tagged you almost made you pass out.

You looked through her comments and let’s just say most of it wasn't what you would have expected. Some were positive-- for example, there were comments that read:

“OH MY GOSH IT CONFIRMED! I'M SO HAPPY”

“I’m so proud of you <3”

“You guys are the absolute cutest!”

Then, there were comments that weren’t so positive. It was a mixture of homophobic comments and comments that said “Florence deserves better.”

Of course, they hurt, but you didn’t mind at first and chose to focus on the more positive comments. 

-

A couple days pass and you also decide to post Florence on your Instagram. As you hit “post,” your phone instantly started buzzing with notifications. Again, the comments were all a mixture of the positives and the negatives. However, you wanted to focus on the positive side and ignored the comments.

-

You posted Florence on your Instagram story, and you received a lot of DM’s. Although you don’t open your DM’s, you decided to check just for the hell of it. As soon as you swiped to your message requests, you instantly regretted swiping. 

“Kill yourself. You don’t deserve Florence.”

Tears started to well up in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away when you heard Florence come into the living room.

“Dinner’s ready, darling,” she says, holding a wooden spoon.

“Hm? Oh, right. I’ll be there in a sec,” you respond.

“Is everything alright, love?” she walks towards you with a concerned look on her face.

You take a deep breath. “Yes, everything’s fine.” You clench your jaw hoping Florence would drop the subject.

She pouts and looks at you with worry. Florence knows every little detail about you. She knows that nothing is ever “fine,” when it follows with you clenching your jaw. However, Florence doesn’t like to overstep on your boundaries, so she drops the subject and figures she’ll ask you later. 

“Alright, love. C’mon, let's eat. I’ve made your favorite,” she says, giving you a soft smile.

-

You loved Florence’s cooking and you always made sure to compliment her dishes whenever she cooked. However, tonight was quiet. The two of you sat in silence, quietly eating your dinner. 

You were grateful that Florence knew to get off your back whenever you were in a mood. That’s one of the things that you appreciated most about her, her ability to understand your emotions and how you cope with them. 

You knew that she would eventually ask you what happened as you have both communicated that suffering in silence wasn’t healthy.

You finished dinner early and asked yourself to be excused. You headed to bed as soon as you finished your meal. Florence stayed in the kitchen to tidy up and to give you some more space.

-

Laying on your side, you couldn’t help but to grab your phone and scroll through your notifications. As hurt as you were already, you were too stubborn to gain some self-control. As terrible as that message was, your comment section got even worse. Not only was it filled with homophobic comments, but you were also getting sent death threats. You had checked Florence’s account and pressed on your photo. You noticed that she turned off the comments.

You felt the bed behind you dip as an arm wrapped around your torso.

“Hi,” Florence whispers, and she rests her chin on your shoulder.

“Hi,” you weakly respond. You sigh as you turn your phone off and place it on the bedside table. You turn around in Florence’s arm and face her.

Florence gave you a worried smile and she wiped the tears on your face. You were so busy scrolling through the hate comments that you hadn’t noticed that tears were falling from your eyes.

“Oh, my love.” Florence places a gentle kiss on your forehead. She then looks at you with worry in her eyes. Florence couldn’t imagine what was going through your mind.

“I know you saw the comments,” she begins, “I saw them too. As soon as I saw the hate comments, I immediately turned them off.”

You sniffled and took a deep breath. “I got death threats,” you say, your voice breaking.

“What?” Florence says, appalled. Florence could feel her heart race and feel herself be filled with rage.

“That’s it, I’m making a post, this is unbelievable,” Florence says getting up to get her phone.

“No, please, you don’t have to,” you plead, “it’ll only make things worse.”

“No it won’t, Y/n, I promise you,” Florence says, already typing in her notes.

“You can’t promise me something that you have no control over,” you say coldly.

Florence pauses. She looks over at you, takes a deep breath and pouts. She stares at you for a while, studying your face. Florence is the type of person to defend the people she loves and doesn’t care if it will give her a bad rep. You just so happen to be one of the people that Florence loves, and she will do whatever it takes to defend you and her love for you.

“It doesn’t matter, what matters is that someone I love is being sent death threats, so please, let me say something,” she says, reaching for your hand.

“I really don’t deserve you,” you sigh.

“You do Y/n, you deserve every bit of me as much as I deserve every bit of you,” Florence says, caressing your cheek. 

-

A few days passed and Florence posted a video on her Instagram regarding the hate you had been receiving. 

“To my “fans,” who have sent a tremendous amount of hate to my girlfriend, Y/n, kindly unfollow me. I do not need your negativity towards my relationship with her. The hate you throw at her is hate you throw at me. The death threats you throw at her, are also death threats you throw at me. It is not your place to tell me who I should and should not love, nor is it any of your business. I do not appreciate the comments you have thrown at her. She does not deserve it, and nor do I. I am happy with Y/n. She makes me a better person. So please, leave my relationship alone and stop sending my girlfriend death threats. I will not ask again.”

After watching the video, you were in shock. Even if you had talked about it a couple days prior, you still didn’t expect that she would actually post it. Florence kept the comments on and fortunately, it was filled with massive support from other celebrities. You were grateful.

-

Florence had an interview with Jimmy Kimmel this week to discuss her recent and future projects. Of course, her video regarding your relationship was a topic of discussion. You stayed backstage and watched Florence’s interview from her dressing room.

“Okay, I think everyone here has seen the video that you had recently posted regarding your relationship,” Jimmy says.

“Yeah, I hope so,” Florence chuckles nervously.

“So tell me, if you’re comfortable, why you had said what you needed to say?” he asks.

“Did you watch the video?” Florence says sarcastically, earning a couple laughs from the crowd. “Um, I figured that I needed to. I mean my girlfriend was getting sent death threats for no apparent reason and it needed to stop.” This earned Florence a clap from the audience.

“That’s fair. God, the internet is so toxic, isn’t it?” Jimmy complains.

“Yeah,” Florence agreed. “Y/n and I had been dating for a while now and we’d managed to keep it lowkey. I just thought that when I’d finally posted her that I wouldn’t receive such horrid comments. Which is why I felt the need to address this because I hate seeing the people I love get hurt.”

A couple people from the crowd “Awwed”

“So, tell me what it is about Y/n that just makes you so in love with her?” Jimmy asked curiously.

Florence smiled as she thought about the things that she loved most about you. “Her smile was something that caught my eyes right off the bat. She has such a kind smile and I would do everything just to keep her smiling.”

The crowd “Awwed” again.

“Also, Y/n is so loving. She won’t admit it because she likes to be that “tough” person on the outside, but inside she’s a big softie. She gives the best cuddles. I also love how she makes me tea every time I come home from filming.”

“Aww, that must be nice. I think we all need a Y/n in our life, right?” Jimmy says.

The camera pans to the crowd who was cheering and nodding their heads.

“Well, too bad, Y/n is only one person and I’m the lucky girl who has her,” Florence says wittily. 

The crowd laughed and clapped.

“Alright, well it was lovely having you, Florence,” Jimmy says, shaking Florence’s hand. “And that’s all for tonight, we’ll see you tomorrow!”

-

On the ride home, you rested your head on Florence’s shoulders.

“You really had to call me out, didn’t you?” you ask.

“Yeah, maybe just a little,” Florence says, making a gesture.

You chuckle and look at her. “Did I ever tell you that you are the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid my eyes on?”

“Yes, Y/n, you tell me everyday,” she says, grabbing your cheek.

You smile and close the gap between you. Florence melts into the kiss and moves her hand to the back of your head, running her hands through your hair. You pull away to catch some air and Florence rests her forehead against yours.

“I love you, Flo. Thank you for everything.”

“I love you too Y/n. and don’t thank me, you know I’ll always protect you.”

The End

[ryuichirou]

I saw one very stupid post on my dash about how snk is OBVIOUSLY nazi propaganda and trying to convert all of us into imperialists and white supremacists. tbh it’s not the first time I’ve seen that kind of stuff and probably won't be the last, but for some reason this time it gave me a lot of anxiety (I got wordy, I'mma need to send another ask, sorry)

(part 2) It's been more than half and hour and I still feel this awful sensation in my chest. It's just overall pretty fucked how to have something you hold dear being misinterpreted in the worst way possible, and I was just wondering what are your thoughts on this situation or how you deal with people claiming all sorts of awful shit.

(part 3) I imagine that as an artist some people probably direct their issues with snk towards you, 'cause I don't even post that much fanart and I've gotten anons "trying to educate me" on why this series is so wrong, after posting drawings. Of course, you don't have to reply, maybe the topic makes you anxious too and I don't want to bother you, so sorry for the depressing topic (｡•́︿•̀｡)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tiiish, I want to hug you, I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I hope you’re feeling a little bit better now.

Like we already mentioned a while ago, when we were talking about that darn article, after we read through it and did a little fact checking (and I mean it when I say a little, because there weren’t many facts to check), we stopped caring about it. It’s not research at all, just a manipulatively written speculation on Yam’s motives and worldview, but sadly, people easily believe these accusations because they hate SnK and want to find a valid reason to hate it and shit on its fanbase. Because “I hate it because it’s nazi propaganda” sounds much cooler than “I hate it because it’s popular”, doesn’t it?

It’s easier to ignore the article itself though, and it’s much harder not to think about tumblr posts or those Twitter threads that get very popular (although there are a lot of bots on twitter, trust me…), and it’s especially difficult to ignore it when it’s specifically directed at you. But the only thing that these people deserve is a good ol’ block and (if they’re getting too offensive and abusive) a report for harassment. The thing is, their opinion doesn’t matter: it won’t change SnK’s story, it won’t affect its success and popularity, it doesn’t affect anything other than our mood (temporarily lol). Because they aren’t critics who actually give a flying fuck about the subject matter, they’re just random assholes with a hateboner for SnK, who sit in their echochamber and discuss the same shit over and over again. And if they’re “fans” of the SnK, it’s just them “consuming it critically” 🙄 such a convenient phrase and so easy to abuse.

If we think about these accusations again… they’re so damn nonsensical, it’s almost amazing. I’m not going to reread it or to make a proper counterpoint article out of this ask, so this is just based on how we remember these accusations.

Like, what part of SnK approves and pushes the idea of imperialism in any way? When the entire idea of the story is that war is bad? When people like Onyankopon, whose homeland was invaded by Marley, exist? And it’s never portrayed as a good thing? Having only one country dominating the world’s situation is literally the main reason why everyone’s suffering??

And come to think of it, Isayama is one of the few manga artists to kind of sort of openly critique Japan: he literally drew Kiyomi losing her cool and drooling while thinking about all the profit and wealth she would get from the deal with Paradis. Why do people never talk about that? What is it, if not a critique of greedy and two-faced nature of people from Azumabito clan, who are heavily implied to represent Japan? I don’t read a lot of manga in general, but do you know how many mangakas I’ve seen who directly talked shit about Japan while being Japanese? Two. Excluding Isayama.

Isayama is clearly invested in the Western culture and he understands the World’s History. He understands that political relationships are complex and that there are no “bad” or “good” countries. I don’t want to make assumptions about how much perspective of the world’s relationships the average person from Japan has, but I still feel like Yams has a pretty good understanding of it. He did his research for the subject matter, and while it’s obviously not perfect, it’s clearly there.

These people also claim that SnK is anti-Korean and anti-Semitic, but if Hetalia had taught me anything, it is that if the story has or used to have any anti-Korean undertones, the Korean readers wouldn’t want to have anything to do with it. They would be the first people to ditch the manga, they would be the first people to critique SnK, and rightfully so. They burnt Uniqlo clothes, their overall domestic policy is pretty anti-Japanese, so there’re literally zero reasons for them not to destroy SnK if they see it as anti-Korean. But the size of the Korean SnK fandom suggests otherwise, doesn’t it.

And the “big noses = Jewish caricature” argument, seriously? How anti-Semitic can you get? Who the fuck looks at people and goes “oh, those have big noses, bet they’re caricature of Jews”?? Sorry I’m getting heated lol The argument about “Asian artists portray Westerners with prominent noses because that’s what we look like to them” has been done a lot of times, I’m not going to go over than again.

And god forbid Isayama to use Germany and Europe to draw a story where his characters are (approximately) Germans and Europeans! Let’s go fetch our pitchforks to punish Isayama for using their aesthetic to make his story look more believable and authentic, right? “Oh, those areas where they hold Eldians resemble places from real life”, like no shit???? Ofc they would??? That’s what references for making the story more grounded are used for??? If I were to write a story about a fictional place based on a real one that I don’t live in, I’d use some visual references to help me to make it more believable??? Why do I even need to explain that?

In my previous post I talked about the armbands and ghetto and stuff, but I’ll reiterate: even if there are thematic similarities, it doesn’t mean that the story mirrors our history. And it doesn’t mean that there is an analogy, since Eldian’s situation is quiiiite different than what Jewish people had to go through. It’s just thematic similarities. And it still doesn’t plant any specific idea in the reader’s head, other than “having people shoved into ghettos with 0 civil rights is a horrible thing”, and I can’t comprehend what’s anti-Semitic or imperialistic about it. Also I’m sorry, but nazis are not the only people who genocided a bunch of people, breaking news. Nor did they invent armbands. Same goes for Japan in WWII.

And now for my favourite argument: Erwin is nazi because his name is Erwin and he was born on the same day than some nazi guy died… I won’t even talk about why this idea is hilariously stupid, I just want to appreciate the level of nitpicking that’s going on here.

So… yeah. People who have nothing else to do but to complain about the show they hate don’t matter. And people who consider themselves a part of the SnK fandom and still say this bs (yep, there are people who do that) are huge hypocrites. The heck are they doing in this fandom then?? Of course, any story is up to interpretation, but this is so backwards?

Sorry for rambling so much… anyways. We’re happy enough not to encounter any hate related to this topic, but we think it’s because we ship Ereri and people already hate us for that, so the majority of shit we get is related to that, I guess we’re a lost cause for them. We’ll see if anything happens after this post though.

But once again, I’m very sorry that you had to go through this. Please remember that this isn’t personal at all, and people who harass strangers on the internet just want to flex their high moral ground while acting like complete assholes. You don’t have to explain anything to them, you don’t have to talk to them, you don’t have to listen to them or give them any attention. I hope you’ll never stumble upon anything like this; but if you ever do, please block them, don’t even bother reading their attempts at “educate” you. Isn’t worth it.

Please have a good day, Tish. And everyone who’s reading this reply.

[1a-imagines]

Can I request a one shot for Bakugou when he's a Pro Hero and opens up his own agency, since heroes have to be out and about all day and night they're exhausted, so the agency has a personal shopper system and that's how he meets the reader. The reader is back and forth a lot, they never know who specifically they shop for, they just gets lists and also acts as asistant to anyone. Jealous coworkers see them getting along with Bakugou and they start overworking them?

A/n: This was so much fun! And what better time to post it than the lil shits brithday? Nah. I love him really

Quick little side note sort of ended being more of a personal assistant than a shopper but i hope you enjoy anyway.

----

"Ground zero, sir? Here are those files you wanted. O-oh! And since it's lunch I thought you might appreciate some food so I went out and ordered some curry for you." You sent him a smile as you watched his eyes widen at the food placed on his desk.

"Why?"

"H-huh?"

He let out a sigh. "You didn't need to do that.." he muttered softly. He could never understand why you always felt the need to go out of your way to do nice things for him. Sure you were technically the office assistant, it was your job to help him, but you weren’t required to buy him lunch!

He reached over and gratefully took the food. The smell alone was making his stomach growl. "Oh it's no problem! You always forget to eat when you're busy! And you’re busy a lot these days, since your rank is rising so quickly. I figured, as your assistant, I should make sure you're eating properly too."

He looked down at the food, you really were too nice for your own good. Looking out and caring for people who you owed nothing to. It annoyed him to no end! If you kept being so nice to everyone then people were going to take advantage of you! He had to keep a careful watch on you at all times to make sure you weren’t getting into trouble!

Granted, he didn’t really have to look out for you but who else would do it if he didn’t!?

He had been skeptical when his colleagues had suggested hiring someone like you for the company.

‘Oh great! Another headache to deal with!’ had been his first thoughts.

But he had to admit that it was one of the best decisions his company had made, and he didn't just think that because he actually liked having you around compared to some of the other idiots around here. You were helpful, and you took a load off his work pile every now and then, you brought him drinks and made sure no one bothered him when he was busy working. It made his work life all the more easier.

"Thanks." He hesitantly grumbled before taking a bite, you couldn’t help but notice how his eyes lit up for a slight second. "This is really good! How the hell do you know what I like?"

You let out a giggle. "You're a popular hero with a big following, all I had to do was search up 'Ground Zeroes favourite foods' and I learned that you like spicy food pretty quickly!" You really went to all that trouble just to get him lunch? He huffed through his nose. "Stalker."

"EH!?" he chuckled at your reaction before continuing. "Next time you can just ask me what I like. You don't have to go browsing the internet like some stalker fangirl." His smirk widened as he watched your face turn red.

"O-oh- right! Yes.. Of course!" Teasing you was way too easy and way too fun.

“You said it was lunch right? Have you had your lunch break?” he asked after taking another bite of the food. You shook your head and he rolled his eyes. Just like you always had to make sure he was eating well and taking breaks he had to do exactly the same for you. He didn’t need his assistant collapsing on him.

“Take it now then, here-” he reached over and pulled another chair closer to his desk. “You can eat with me since you got way too much food for me.” It wasn’t that much, he just wanted a reason for you to stay around for a while longer. He didn’t know why, he usually preferred spending breaks alone, it was practically the only time he got a break from everything and everyone. But, there was just something about you that made him feel at ease. He actually enjoyed talking to you, and this was a rare thing for him.

He loved watching you tense up at such a simple request. It was almost like you were surprised he wanted to eat with you. Then again, he didn’t do this with any other of his employees.

“Are you sure it’s ok sir?” You asked unsurely.

He sighed at your never ending courtesy. “I wouldn’t say it otherwise, just sit down.” You compiled and sat next to him.

He gave you half his food and you eagerly dug in, running around after people all day was a good way to work up an appetite, but as soon as the spiciness of the curry hit your palate your face turned red and you began to cough as the heat scorched your throat.

Bakugo burst out laughing at your reaction, your face had twisted into pain as you began gulping down water, it didn’t really help much. Your lips and tongue still felt like they were on fire. How can he stomach this stuff!?

You had never heard Bakugo laugh so hard before- or at all for that matter.

Once you cooled off you couldn’t help but laugh with him. It was nice to see him smiling for once, even if it was at your own expense.

Your combined laughter carried out of his office and down to where the rest of your coworkers were working. They could hear the pure joy you two were sharing from all the way down the hall and a few of them began to pry. They had never before heard their usually grumpy boss laugh like that.

Three of them walked up and peaked through the window to his office. You two hunched over laughing with tears in your eyes, you looked awfully close, a little too close for some of their likings.

“Hmph! What a suck up she is!” Setsuko muttered bitterly as her eye’s narrowed at the sight.

“I know.. We’ve worked here for years!! And yet Y/n who's been here what? Three months? gets all the special treatment?” Kimiko agreed.

“I-I don’t know.. She’s just doing her job..” Mariko chimed in as they watched the two of you wipe the tears from your eyes. She had never seen their boss so happy before, usually he was in a bad mood over something or other. However, when you were around, he seemed to soften up, it was kind of sweet in a way. She enjoyed seeing this new side you brought out of him, but she knew that a few of your fellow co-workers didn’t enjoy this “special treatment” you got.

“Don’t be stupid Mariko! You don’t see her getting the rest of us lunch do you? She’s supposed to help everyone around the office! She’s just trying to get a promotion!” Setsuko countered as they turned away from the window.

“That’s a good point though!” Kimiko grinned, a glint of mischief in her eyes. “She’s our assistant too. Maybe we should start taking more advantage of that?”

Mariko shifted uncomfortably at the suggestion, “I-I’m not so sure-”

“Good idea Kimiko! She needs to learn her place!” They completely ignored the shy, petite girl next to them. Mariko couldn’t stand listening to their childish plans and walked away from the scene.

As soon as you left Ground zeroes office after your lunch break the two girls approached you with friendly smiles on their faces. “Y/n! Glad we found you! We have some boxes over there that need to be put in the basement? Think you could do it for us?”

You sent them a curt nod, “Of course!” Thought you regretted not looking over at the box pile before answering. The pile of boxes just about reached the ceiling! There were so many! Your jaw dropped as Setsuko patted your shoulder. “Thanks a bunch!” Was the last thing they said before leaving you to it.

“Ok, I can do this! They might not even be that heavy! Maybe I can carry a few at a time and be done quickly!”

They’re so fucking heavy!

One box in and your arms were already aching, what was in these things!? Bricks?! That was the only thing you could assume from the weight of them. You weren’t sure what kind of bad luck you had been cursed with today but suddenly it seemed like your shift was going to become a lot more grueling.

Three hours later and you were practically crawling along the floor, the pile still only half finished. You had the great idea of using an old desk chair with wheels so you could push a few boxes along at a time but it was still really heavy and taking forever! Not that you could exactly do anything about it, this was your job. At least you didn’t deal with this everyday.

You wiped the sweat from your forehead and shook your arms to relieve the pain. “Just a few more left!” You tried to encourage yourself.

Little did you know about Marikos guilty, green eyes staring at you from across the office.

The week didn’t get any better for you. You were constantly running around having to do these ridiculously hard tasks all alone. They’ve had you fixing all the broken office chairs, scanning about 500 pages of forms only to say they didn't need  them anymore, they’ve had you going all over town to buy supplies or lunches for them, as well as running up and down all 50 floors of the office building doing a bunch of other ridiculous tasks for them. It felt unfair but it’s not like they were making you do things that were outside of your job description? So how could you complain about them when they weren’t really doing anything wrong?  

You felt so exhausted. You couldn’t even enjoy your breaks without them coming to ask favours of you. You felt even worse that you had barely any time to help Bakugo with his tasks. You were sure he didn’t need help- he always stressed he could do everything alone but you hoped he was at least remembering to eat. He was always too focused on becoming the number one that he often forgot to take care of himself unless you were there to remind him.

“Y/n! Would you mind going to grab us some coffee?” Kamiko asked you as you handed them the prints they wanted you to fetch,

Ok, that was a pretty simple task! That’s not unreasonable at all! You sent them a smile, a smile that was slightly strained due to your fatigue, “Of course!” You stepped around them to head towards the break room where the coffee machine was, but before you could go far they stopped you again. “Oh! No! The coffee in the break room is kind of gross, it’s never strong enough ethier, especially when you have a mountain of paperwork.” Setsuko giggled. “Would you mind going to ‘The steamed bean’? Here are the directions if you need them!” She handed you a note and you gawked at the address, It was all the way over the other side of town! “Y-you realise I don’t have a car to travel this far right?”

“Ah, we know, but we figured you wouldn’t mind since it’s a nice day and all! Besides, Exercise could do you some good!”

‘What's that supposed to mean…’

“Ok.. I guess I could but-!”

“Thanks so much! You’re a doll! We owe ya!” Kamiko waved as they walked off. “-won't it be cold by the time I get back…” You trailed off, speaking to the empty space they once stood in. You sighed. It was your job to assist them, but sending you all the way across town for coffee? It was a bit unreasonable. You just couldn’t seem to find it in yourself to argue about it.

You set off on your journey through the city, You had to admit that it was a nice day but the walk was too long for your liking. You could’ve gotten the train or a bus but you didn’t tend to bring change with you to work, You had a weird feeling Setsuko and Kamiko might have known about that. So it left you with walking.

The walk gave you a lot of time to think over the past week and all the jobs they’ve had you do. There was just no doubt about it.

‘They’re taking advantage of me.’

You sighed. Maybe Bakugo was right about you being too nice, a pushover even.. He had warned you about it time and time again but you didn’t listen. Being kind was just in your nature. You had every right to file a complaint against them for overworking you, the bags under your eyes were evidence enough, so why didn’t you? Because it was your job? Because you didn’t want to be causing trouble in the first few months of being there?

You huffed. You were angry with yourself for letting it get this far!

Though, you were too far into the walk to turn back now, the coffee shop wasn’t much father but you made a note to yourself to let this be the last unreasonable task you did for them!

The walk was almost an hour a half. You’ve never felt so relieved to see a coffee shop sign in your life! You couldn’t have felt more happy for your aching feet but when you made it to the door you noticed the sign had been turned to-

“Closed!?” you squeaked in defeat. All this walking for… this!? You sighed, Taking a moment to lean your body against the brick wall of the building.

Soon, you began trudging back to the office. You couldn’t exactly return to them with nothing, You didn’t want to get in trouble for not doing your job properly, and something told you that they wouldn’t hesitate to put in a complaint about you given the opportunity. So you bought them coffee from a different place before you got back.

You were dragging your feet at this point, your legs numb, you weren’t entirely sure what time it was; but the sun was begging to set over the city, leaving an orange glow in its wake. Once you arrived back at the office you found your two coworkers talking to Bakugo as they packed away their stuff. “We got everything finished on time thanks to your help sir!”

“Yeah, whatever..” He dismissed them and turned around to see you standing there, you looked overheated and sweaty from the 3 hour walk in the sun you had just taken, the bags under your eyes were prominent on your face, right next to how flushed your cheeks were. He blinked.

“The hell happened to you? You look like a mess.” He commented and you shot him a soft glare for the jab. “I was just out getting coffee for-” you looked behind him to see they had both left. You deflated, you eye twitched in annoyance. They really just-

Bakugo followed your gaze, catching on. “Why the hell would you go into the city to get coffee for them? We have coffee here.” He crossed his arms. You shrugged and placed the two coffee cups down on a nearby empty desk. “They asked and it’s sort of my job to assist them.”

“And now their shifts are over and you went to all the trouble for nothing.” He pointed out and you internally groaned. “Yeah.. pretty much.”

The office was practically empty now apart from the odd few night staff that were coming in for their shifts. You knew you had been set up, this wasn’t just bad luck like you had first thought. But why would your coworkers do this to you?

“Well better not let them go to waste.” Bakugo sat down and took one of the coffee cups. You smiled a little. It felt like he was looking out for you in a way, It was sweet. You sat down opposite him and let out a big sigh of relief at weight off your feet. You tried to relax your tired body as much as you could. It felt like the first time you had relaxed in a week. Your behaviour made Bakugo raise an eyebrow. “How fucking far did you go for coffee?” he asked you before taking a sip out of his cup. “The steamed bean.” you heard him choke on his drink and you jumped up. “Are you ok!?”

“Are you!?”  He backfired, staring up at you in disbelief. “Why the hell would you go there!? Not only is it miles away but you know it’s always shut on wednesdays, right?” you suddenly felt the need to collapse and sink into the floor.

It’s always closed on wednesdays!?

They really did set you up then!

You sat back down and Bakugos eyes followed you. “Oh.. don't tell me that's why you’re in pain.. You didn’t walk did you?” he narrowed his eyes, you could tell he was judging you and it made you too shy to give a reply. The look on your face must have said enough because he shook his head at you. “Idiot.”

“They asked and-”

“Just because it’s “your job” doesn’t mean you have to take that shit from them! Don’t let people use you and overwork you!” he scolded. You couldn’t help but smile despite being lectured and he noticed. “What? Why do you have that stupid look on your face?”

“I just- didn’t realise you cared so much about me.” He saw his shoulders tense which only made you smile more. This was priceless.

“I don’t- I just don’t want my employees being overworked!” He defended himself but you couldn’t fully believe his words. “You can’t fool me that easily, I’ve already heard plenty from the other workers around here that you’re a pretty stern boss. You’re serious about work and get annoyed when it’s not done on time.”

“Who the fuck said that!?”

“Point is! I’ve never actually seen that side of you. So either everyone else is lying or..” You shyly looked away “you have a soft spot for me~”

You heard him tut, his head also turned away from you as he crossed his arms. “That’s the conclusion you’ve come to? You’re dumber than I thought.”

“Well, you do invite me to eat lunch with you a lot, even making dumb excuses like “theres just too much food to eat it alone”, and you stay back after your shift ends just to talk and drink coffee with me.” You gestured to the scene around you, feeling pride when you saw his cheeks turn red. You knew that you had busted him. You let out a laugh at his reaction and he muttered for you to shut up.

Something about you laughing at him really pushed his buttons. He didn’t like that the tables had turned on him. Usually it was him teasing you, you were the one supposed to be blushing! Now he was the one with red cheeks and he couldn’t stand for this! “So what if I am a little soft for you?”

“h-huh!?”

“If I happen to like you a little more than everyone else around here? What are you going to do about it?”

“I- you-”

He smirked, just like that he had turned it back around. So easy. This was how it should be. With you getting all embarrassed and shy, not him. You hunched over in defeat, you were too tired to play this game with him right now. Especially when you knew you wouldn't win.

Though, you couldn’t help but wonder if he meant it? Did he really like you more than everyone else?

You took a nice long gulp of the warm coffee, you couldn’t wait for the energy boost, you really needed it after the week you had just had.

“You don’t have to worry about those two anymore.” He suddenly spoke up.

“What? Why?” You asked as you watched Bakugo absentmindedly fiddle with the cup. “Cause they’re getting fired tomorrow.” He smirked and you froze up. Were they getting fired because of you!? You knew they deserved it but you couldn’t help but feel guilty. Jobs are how people make a living, their source of income and if they don't have that then-

“Quit your worrying would you?” His voice cut through your thoughts, you blushed at how easy he could see through you.

“Listen, it’s not just because of you, though you are a big part of it.” He muttered the last part so you couldn’t hear and before you could ask him to repeat himself he carried on. “When I was helping them with work today the files they’ve been writing up on their computers were complete shit. I can’t have people like that in my agency.” You sighed in relief. Bakugo leaned forward to lock eyes with you. He glared. “Also, Mariko told me everything they’ve been making you do the past week.”

Your lips parted in shock. “Mariko?”

“Yes, I’m terribly sorry I didn’t help sooner.” You turned in your chair to see the shy girl approaching. “I-I knew what they were doing and I thought they’d stop but they didn’t- I’m not really good at confrontation you see so I-” she inhaled through her nose. Stopping herself from making excuses. “I’m very sorry I let it go on. I told our boss when I found out they sent you all the way across town on foot to a closed coffee shop. I wish I had said something sooner. I’m sorry.” She bowed deeply and you tensed up at the confession. You had never expected this from her. You could see how genuine she was being, how sorry she felt. You placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her up. “It’s ok.” You smiled. “Thank you for helping me in the end! I really appreciate it.” You told her, Mariko seemed unsure, but curtly nodded anyway, “If you’re sure.”

She glanced over to her boss who’s eyes had never left you, despite you turning away. It reminded her of the look on his face when she told him about what had been happening. She wished you could have seen it, how worried he was. Maybe then you would understand just how much he cared for you. This wasn’ just a simple workplace relationship anymore.

She giggled quietly, a knowing twinkle in her eyes. “Well I should be off! Have fun you two!” She waved. You waved back, though you were unsure what that look she had given you was about.

“Never ever let anyone take advantage of you again you hear me?” Ah, back to the lecture now. You sent him a smile and nodded. “I’ll try my best”

He groaned at your answer. Trying isn't good enough! He needed to know you wouldn’t get put in a situation like this again. He threw his head back, “You’re lucky I’m around to keep you out of trouble.”

There was a small silence as you stared down at your lap, “I am.” You agreed, his cheeks tinted red at your response.

“Ok! Enough of that mushy shit! You look starving, come on let's go get some food. My treat.” He jumped up and you followed a frantic look in your eyes as you were about to argue that he didn’t need to do that but he stopped you before you could by placing a hand over your mouth. He expected you would have this reaction.

“No, shut up, just let me do this for you. I still owe you for when you bought me lunch last week!"

You bit your lip as you took his hand into yours and lowered it from your face, neither one of you pulled away. "That just sounds like an excuse to take me out."

To your surprise he leaned down to be level with your face. He smirked as his eyes burned into yours. "Maybe you're not such a dumbass after all. It is an excuse, I'm taking you on a date."

You gulped. You were thankful you were holding onto his hand because your knees suddenly felt weak as his breath hit your cheek. "Then I guess I can't turn it down." You smiled and he squeezed your hand. "Let's go.”

Bonus:

You sat in his car, driving around the city as you tried to find a good place to have dinner.

“So what are you thinking?” He looked over to you with a playful glint in his eyes. “How about The Steamed Bean?”

You let out a loud groan and sunk into the seat at the jab to your pride. “You’re the worst date ever!"

He chuckled at your reaction, "We'll see if you still feel that way when the nights over~"

[shorkbrian]

I dont usually send in things to anyone, but I felt like I had to send this because I love your account so much. I get so excited when I see that you posted and all your writing are always soooooo good! Your new kiri fic was amazing btw. I was also wondering if there was gonna be anymore creepy sero cause that shit was gooood. Thanks and keep up the good work :) x

Don’t mind me I’m over here just SAWBING

                                            A HELPING HAND

Prelude - I saw some fan art of Sero with a skateboard and I have decided that is the only criticism I will accept about his canon character. Lil tape elbow child totally has the skateboard & stoner vibe. My interpretation of Sero does a horrible thing by talking reader into touching him. Don’t do that. Reader is obviously uncomfortable and he completely ignores that. That’s creepy. He tries to pass off his actions as ‘normal’, which is also creepy. He threatens to slander reader for not doing what he wants them to do, which is maybe the biggest creepy. Sero is not a good dude here.

Prompt - Right at the top bby 

Pairing -  Sero Hanta X Reader

Warnings - Coercion, dub-con. NSFW. Non-con.

Music - https://youtu.be/rY8H-vztguQ

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sero tugged at your wrist excitedly, leading you towards his dorm. He had sprung on you the second you got out of the locker rooms after training. Luckily it was your last class of the day, so Sero wasn’t making you miss school. He would do that often, tugging you away from your friends to show you a new video or gifset he had found.

You hadn’t been in his room before, but it was no big surprise. It was a regular bedroom, dark covers on his bed, posters on the wall. A skateboard rested in the corner, and you noticed a humidifier on his otherwise-bare desk. A skateboard? Sure. But you had never pegged him as the type to own - or even know - what a humidifier was. Did he have asthma? Probably had something to do with the amount of weed he smoked. You could detect a faint trace of it in the air, skunky-smelling, making your face twist with each breath.

Sero was excited, his movements jerky and fast as he let go of your wrist, moving to shuffle around the blankets on his bed as he searched for whatever it is he wanted to show you. When he had accosted you, he had snatched your wrist, pulling you along as he explained that there was something he wanted to show you. You hoped it wasn’t anything weird. You didn’t exactly like it when the black-haired boy showed you the lewd things he found on the internet, but Sero never seemed to pick up on your discomfort. But this was what friends did, so you guessed it was fine.

With a cheery “Aha!” Sero pulled his laptop out from amid the covers, turning to show you with a grin on his face. He sat on the bed, patting the space beside him to indicate where he wanted you to be. 

“Are we watching a movie?”

That’d be fun. You had been wanting to see the new John Wick movie, but none of the girls had wanted to go with you. Maybe Sero had heard you complaining and pirated the movie for you. He was nice like that.

Sero shrugged, squishing closer to you as you sat down. “Something like that.” 

He scooted back, and you gasped as tape wrapped around your waist, dragging you along the bed until you were seated beside him, back against the wall, pressed against his side. 

“Ah, didn’t mean to scare you man! Thought this would just be more comfortable.”

The male grinned at you, his teeth bared in a leering smile as he flipped open the laptop, booting it up. You shrugged, attention drawn to the site that was already plastered across the screen, still there from the last time he had used his laptop.

Pornhub.

Of course.

Irritation bubbled up within you. This had been going on for months now, Sero taking you aside to show you inappropriate things, ask you what you thought of them. You never knew what to say, blushing and stammering at the naked bodies splayed across the screen.

Enough was enough. You needed to stand up for yourself.

“Jeez, seriously Sero??!”

“What?”

“This is too far! I dont like doing this, it’s weird and it makes me feel uncomfortable.”

Sero’s shocked face collapsed as he did, sniggering at your vexed expression.

“Oh my god, (Y/N) are you PMS’ing?”

Would it be bad if you slapped him? You settled for scoffing, moving to scoot off the bed.

“That’s it, I’m leaving. You’re being gross Sero.”

“Wait, aww, C’mon!”

Tape wrapped around your waist again, pulling you back to your previous position.

“SERO! Stop-“

He leaned against your arm, giving you a sly smirk.

“(Y/N), I’m just trying to help you relieve some stress! Having outbursts like this can’t be good for you. You just need to relax.”

Sero winked at you before pulling away, turning back to his laptop and tapping away.  You spluttered, angry and confused.

“Stress relief? How is this relaxing?? I don’t want to watch two people bone, especially while I’m sitting next to my friend.”

You frowned at him, but Sero seemed unperturbed.

“You don’t masturbate after? Wow, no wonder you’re so cranky all the time.”

“You show me during lunch!!!!! What do you expect, that I’ll drop my pants right there and go after it?!?”

Sero stopped typing, turning to look at you.

“Well, If exhibitionism is your thing, sure. Personally I just go jack off in the bathroom, but you do you.”

You turned red at his blatant admission, afraid to even ask what “exhibitionism”  was. Sero was entirely comfortable with sex and the like, but you were a bit more reserved. 

Turning the laptop so the both of you could easily see, Sero turned your attention to the screen. You were so irritated, so confused and exasperated and bewildered at his behavior, at the casual way he talked about this sort of thing. Noticing your squirming, picking at the tape around your waist, Sero sighed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“(Y/N), I’m trying to help you. I want you to  be comfortable around this sort of thing. Denki and I do this all the time - if it makes you feel better I can text him and he can watch too?”

“NO!-“ You covered your face with your hands. ‘I just…… I don’t know….. guess I’m embarrassed….”

It was awkward sitting here with Sero, you couldn’t even imagine how weird it would be for Denki to join the two of you.

Sero rubbed your shoulder soothingly, giving you a reassuring smile.

“It’s fine, I remember being weirded out by all this stuff before I knew what it was. Lucky for you that I’m here.”

He started the video

----

You cringed at the fake moans coming from the laptop speakers, face hot and flushed as Sero kept making commentary and asking you questions to keep your attention on the video. He had already played a few, insisting you stay until he found one to “fit the mood”. You don’t know why you had agreed. Maybe because the videos had sparked a tiny flame in your stomach, making you subtly shift your thighs as you tried to alleviate the throbbing in between your legs. Maybe because the tape was still wrapped around your waist. 

“Hey, I don’t mind if you feel like touching yourself.”

“What!?!?!”

You gaped at Sero in shock, trying to process what he just said. He had seen you, noticed you rubbing your thighs together. You wanted to die from embarrassment.  You would never dream of touching yourself like that that in front of your friend; even getting caught clenching your thighs was humiliating. it was too awkward and he might think you’re weird and-

“Here, I’ll help.”

A hand thumbed at the waistband of your shorts, fingers barely dipping past before you were shoving at Sero, panicked.

“No! No it’s okay! Please don’t!”

The male retracted his hands, holding them both up in defeat as he chuckled.

“Yo, no worries man. Just thought I’d try and make you feel good.”

That was nice of him, but no. Your lower parts already had a tingly sense to them, a pleasurable throbbing that made you bite your lip. You ached to touch yourself, fondle your clit and pinch at it until you came, follow Sero’s advice and relieve some stress. But you could do that later, back in your own room. It felt too weird to do that in front of Sero.

You were so lost in thought that you didn’t notice the black haired male thumbing at the button of his jeans, unzipping them, sliding them off his hips. A throaty groan snapped you back to the present, and you let out a nervous “Oh” at the sight that greeted you.

Sero was palming himself over his boxers, a noticeable bulge present. They were damp in one spot, wet enough that they stuck to the head of his cock, hidden every few seconds as he rubbed his fingers over the bulge. 

This was even more awkward.

You felt like you should leave, and you wanted to, but Sero’s voice stopped you before you could even begin moving off the bed or picking at the tape that held you.

“Wait! Iit’s just about to get good, look.”

Your eyes returned to the laptop screen, just in time to see the man slip his dick inside the wet opening of his female partner. 

You felt strangely uneasy, your ears burning. Sero had never gone this far before when he was showing you things-

“(Y/N), can you-shit- can you c’mere?” There was a look in his eye, calculating, watching you tremble as you tried to decide whether to obey or not. You didn’t like this, didn’t feel comfortable. This felt too intimate for two friends. You opened your mouth to speak as you moved to scramble off the bed, tell Sero that you were tired and you were going to go rest, but he cut you off before you could speak.

“C’mon, don’t be mean. I was going tome you feel good before you turned chicken earlier…. You aren’t gonna even try to return the favor?”

“Sero I-“

He clicked his tongue, recognizing your tone of voice. It was the one you used to get away, to escape whenever he would talk about sex, to make excuses when he offered to teach you how to kiss. He picked up his phone, simultaneously pausing the video.

“What are you doing?”

Your tone had switched, now scared and shaky as he began tapping at his phone.  He didn’t even look up as he answered, palm still slipping up and down his clothed length.

“I’m texting the boy’s group chat. They get how frustrating it is when girls pretend like it’s a big deal.” Black eyes met yours as Sero glanced up at you, voice low and dangerous. “Especially when they act like horny little sluts, trying to get themselves off first and then leave you hanging.”

You didn’t like this.

That’s not what had happened.

“Anways-“ Tone chipper again, Sero flicked his eyes back to his phone. “The boys’ll understand; we vent about bitchy girls all the time, helps us feel better about getting denied yanno?”

You weren’t a bitch. You weren’t a horny slut either. Maybe you were just making too big of a deal about it? You clenched your fists.

You slowly crawled back over to Sero, and the male lowered his phone as you did so.

“I-I just.... I’ve never….. ‘M sorry.”

A hand came up to pat your head, and he pressed play on the video again. “It’s okay.” he grabbed your hand as you settled down beside him again, stomach doing flips. “Make me feel good?”

You hesitated, pulling against his grip as he tried to lower your hand to his crotch. Sero quirked an eyebrow.

“It’s just a hand job, stop freaking out over it. It’s not even sex.”

You cringed at his choice of words, wanting to recoil and run out of his room, wash your hands and scrub your ears with soap. This all felt wrong.  But if it wasn’t sex? Plus, you didn’t want Sero laughing with his friends about how much of a slut you were, what a bitch you had been for leading him on.   You let him guide your hand to his lap, and he pulled down his boxers.

“See? Nothing to be scared of. I’ll talk you through it.”

You didn’t like looking between his legs, averting your eyes to the porn playing on the laptop. You flinched when you touched him too, your hands meeting warm flesh. He brought your hand up to his mouth, and to your surprise, spat into it before he guided it back down. This felt disgusting and slimy and gros- Your thoughts were interrupted by his low moan when his hand wrapped yours around his shaft.

“Oh, that feels good.”

You didn’t know what to say. His hand covered yours as he guided you into pumping along the length, jerking himself off with your hand in slow motions.

“Maybe when I’m done, you might be in the mood for me to make you feel good too.”

You wondered if the nausea bubbling up in your stomach was normal.

[tempesrature]

Communication Degree

Pairing: Ride or Die | Ellie x Logan

Summary: Ellie has never been good with properly communicating her negative emotions. So Logan is there to help her out.

(A very loose continuation of the Dedicated Emotion: Logan Series but you really don’t need to read the series to understand this.)

Word Count: 2,059

Warnings: PG-13 (cursing) 

A/N: I’ve always character analyzed Ellie as the type to bottle up her feelings due to her dad being overprotective (people who grew up with overprotective parents and ended up being an emotional wreck because you’re scared to say anything bad to anyone but eventually learned that saying no and voicing your negative emotions is part of self-love and self-respect gang, rise up). 

~*~

Logan perches his legs on the coffee table as he leans back on the couch with one arm behind his head while he scrolls through his phone.

He’s currently reading up on some job postings that he’s interested in—car mechanic, car salesman, car…exhibitionist? (He’s pretty sure it’s some kind of sex thing)—and let’s the hum of normalcy settle into the space.

It’s been a three months or so since Ellie and Logan decided to move in together in a small apartment near Langston. Three months since he made the decision to live a life that will never take him away from the girl he loves ever again. Three months since he’s been borrowing money from Vaughn to help pay off the apartment bills—he winces at the last thought. Logan knows that getting a job with a record on his file isn’t going to be easy but so far it’s been almost impossible. Not that it’s going to discourage him. Logan is nothing if not tenacious and he’s confident that he’s going to find one soon. In fact, he already has some interviews lined up for the week.

But he really wishes he would land one soon. Other than paying Vaughn back, he wants to take Ellie out on dates other that just driving around the Devore, going to isolated cliff sides to watch the stars and hanging out in the park. Although she never complains (practically looks forward to them she would gush), he wants to do something nice for her. Maybe a surprise dinner date in a fancy restaurant or a trip further away in a cabin by a lake—something romantic and unexpected that will make her as happy as she makes him.

Logan sighs and exits the website he was scrolling through and opts to open his Pictagram account instead, feeling a little strange and happy at all the new comments and hearts he seems to be getting from his latest picture of Ellie sitting in the Devore in a pretty yellow dress. That’s the one thing Logan found extremely strange. When Ellie convinced him to make an account (so she could tag him memes, she reasoned) he was hesitant at first. The primary reason as to why he never bothered with social media in the first place was because he just can’t have his identity floating around in the internet when he was a wanted criminal. But now that he isn’t…he decided to give it a try and he’s been pleasantly surprised by how much he likes it. One of the best parts, he figured out later on, is the fact that he can scroll through years and years worth of Ellie’s life in her account which gives him the opportunity to ask questions and listen to stories of moments and memories he missed. That way, even if he wasn’t there, he’d have something to brag about his girlfriend to his future coworkers.

Logan hears the front door slam open and he quickly pulls his legs from the coffee table, trying to look innocent, as he turns to the direction of the door with a beaming smile. His smile falters for a moment when he sees the irritated and angry look on Ellie’s face as she throws her backpack on the couch beside him.

“Hey Trouble—” Ellie turns away from him, stalks to the bathroom, yanks it open and slams it shut behind her with a loud bang. “—maker…”

Logan frowns. That’s not good.

One thing that Logan learned about Ellie and living together in the past three months, blissful and happy as they were, is that there is a certain…science…to living with someone else. He’s always lived by himself, never having to take care or be mindful of anyone’s space other than his own, so the past three months have been a big adjustment for him. But Ellie has always been patient with him. Letting him make mistakes and helping him learn the intricacies of not pissing each other off every time one of them forgets to wash the dishes. So it’s definitely not good if she comes in the apartment and immediately ignores him in favor of locking herself in the bathroom. But he tries not to let it unnerve him as he pushes himself off of the couch and heads to the bathroom door.

He takes a deep breathe, leaning on the wall beside the door and tentatively knocks three times.

“Everything alright, trouble?”

He hears rustling and the toilet lid slamming down.

“Go away Logan. I’m angry right now.”

Logan’s heart picks up, his mind running through his memories to see if that anger was directed at him somehow (had he left his dirty laundry on the floor again?). Finding nothing, he decides to confront it head on. 

“Angry at me?”

A loud exasperated sigh. “No, not at you.”

Logan lets out a sigh of relief before he drops himself to the wooden floor and leans against the door. 

“Want to talk about it El?”

A sniff. “It’s stupid Logan. Just let me deal with it and I’ll be fine in an hour.”

Well. He isn’t going to do that if she’s crying behind the door. That’s one more thing that Logan learned about his girlfriend. Ellie likes to pick her battles. Which is admirable if she didn’t also end up bottling all of her frustration and anger until she explodes. Although Logan has never been the target of it (so far) he’s noticed in the past few months the little rituals she does to distract herself from her anger and annoyance. Such as suddenly wanting to clean their (already pretty clean) bedroom or start aggressively cooking scrambled eggs. With his least favorite being shutting him out completely.

Like right now.

When it first happened, Logan was totally at lost on how to deal with this new aspect of their relationship and just did whatever she asked from him—which was to let her “deal with it” on her own. But Logan hated the feeling of being so useless, that he couldn’t be there for her when she’s always been there for him. So with a little googling and a few anonymous questions on internet forums, he has now gained the necessary advice to be able to properly help her in times like this.

“You know El,” He starts, trying to tick off the mental list he created for this situation. “I really love you.”

A short pause, her voice heavy with confusion. “…I love you too Logan…?”

“Mm, I know,” He replies, a small smile tugging on his lips. “Because I love you and you love me, I’d really like to work together so we can figure out how to make you not angry anymore.”

A sniff then a whimper. “…But it’s really stupid…”

“Did you think it was stupid when I asked for your help on writing my resumé?”

“No…”

Logan smile widens when he hears the resolve in her voice weakening. “Exactly. There’s no such thing as ‘stupid’ between us, El. Even if you just want to talk about what’s making you angry. We don’t need a solution right now,” He pauses for a moment, his tone teasing and playful. “I’ll even let you drive the Devore if it makes you feel better.”

Logan grins at the soft and easy laughter that floats behind the door, momentarily thanking LostThrowaway43 for his brilliant advice of making small jokes to lighten the mood and make her laugh.

He hears the lock click open and he pushes his back away from the door. Ellie slowly opens the door and looks down at him gratefully, her eyes puffy with tears. Logan merely grins and pats the space beside him while she closes the door behind her and drops down to sit beside him. She leans her head on his shoulder and Logan easily fits his arm around her waist before she starts her outpour of emotions.

About how a certain professor has been a hardass and has been giving her a hard time, about how he constantly nitpicks on her work while the same mistake from her classmates get a pass and about how she wants to drop the class but can’t because it will leave a mark on her record.

And Logan listens to it all, only interjecting a few times to ask questions and affirming how much of an asshat the professor is. By the end of it, Logan can tell that Ellie looks a lot better and lighter. Sure, she’s still pissed at the professor (and he’s now pissed at the professor too) but he considers it as a win that he was able to coax her out of the bathroom and got her to talk.

Ellie sighs, the anger in her seeming to flow out in the past hour or so, as she fits her hand in his and gives it a grateful squeeze. “Thanks Logan. I actually feel a lot better now.”

Logan grins, turning to place a soft kiss on her head. “Glad to hear it trouble. What do you want to eat for dinner tonight?”

“Let’s go out,” She turns to him, a teasing smile on her lips. “You did say I could drive the Devore.”

Logan looks down at her with a grin as he raises an eyebrow. “Nuh uh. You just said you feel better now, the Devore was an if option. You can’t have it both, troublemaker.”

Ellie laughs before she takes his face into her hands and gives him a sweet and loving kiss. He responds easily, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her closer. Eventually, she breaks the kiss and swipes her thumb over his lips, taking away the pink lipstick stain she’s left, as she gazes into his loving and amused eyes with a teasing smile.

“Next time, I’m driving the Devore before I start word vomiting.”   

Logan pretends to groan as he shakes his head, his heart so full at the affection and gratitude directed at him.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

Ellie softens, her eyes misting when she nods. She knows that he’s teasing, all in an effort to make her feel better but she’s struck, once again, with the realization that he doesn’t even know how right he is. That yeah, she really is lucky. That if it was anyone else other than Logan on the other side of that door, she would’ve never even opened it.

She gives him a small peck on the lips before she untangles herself from his limbs and picks herself off of the floor. She offers him a hand and he easily fits his hand into hers before she pulls him up with a small huff.

Logan quickly dusts off his jeans before he intertwines his hand in hers and gently tugs her to the door. Their conversation easily, almost naturally, transitioning to light hearted topics about his job hunting and their plans for the weekend.

~*~

Logan perches his legs on the coffee table as he leans back on the couch with one arm behind his head while he scrolls through his phone at the memes his coworkers have tagged him in Pictagram. He snickers at a particularly funny one about how some costumers angrily demand high quality and expensive car parts but their budget can barely get them a meal at McDonald’s. He taps his phone twice, giving it a heart, before he hears the front door slam open.

He quickly pulls his legs from the coffee table, trying to look innocent, as he turns to the direction of the door with a beaming smile. His smile falters for a moment when he once again sees the irritated and angry look on Ellie’s face as she throws her backpack on the coffee table with a huff…and promptly takes a seat right next to him.

“I cannot believe the grade he gave me!” Ellie shouts, crossing her arms and leaning back on the couch with a scowl. “All because the PowerPoint was in a color that hurt his eyes?! Unbelievable!”

Logan secretly smiles, leaning forward to place his phone on the coffee table, before he angles his body towards her. He reaches out to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, his eyes lighting up with affection.

“Tell me all about it troublemaker.”

[invelleity]

psst. be honest. all of the questions. go.

i can’t believe jeanette is tryina kill me in public and i’m still love her??? | not accepting anymoooore | @ltbroccoli​

cracks knuckles here we go ( odd numbers 1-9 are here )

2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

Not very. It’s fun and cute and all, but I care a whole lot more about “clicking” with people and having fun writing with them.

Exception: If someone’s aesthetic is so overblown that I can’t even find the pages on the blog or read the text, I.....won’t interact with that tbh.

4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

(kicks down my roommate’s door at 10pm) “OK so I’m writing— stop screaming, it’s me,— I’m writing a character in Security and you’re like a double black belt or some shit, can you explain how—”

( My roommates all know it’s a thing I do but I’ve never sent them a link or shown them any of the actual writing. They’ve met a bunch of y’all over like Rabbit streams and @rumdaydreams​ irl though so like.... They Know. )

More under the cut

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

Ehhh, depends on my mood. I lean towards female muses in general ( definitely got a bigger chunk of ladies on my list, for sure for sure ) but I love my boys.

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

Uhhhh A) We’re all such dumb socially awkward blobs so it’s often hard to get to know new people.

B) The feel that if you have a good relationship with one person who writes a canon muse, it’s some kind of lowkey betrayal to write with other people who write the same muse??

C) How much I, a certified card-carrying dumbass, stress myself out about posting on a “regular” schedule. Does that count? Like I want the blogs to look “presentable” lmao and me@me Calm The Fuck Down.

10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

N / A

11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

Uhhhh, when I first started was long enough ago and the community was so different a lot of those lessons no longer apply. I wish when I finally jumped over to Tumblr I’d realized quicker how the new like....basic ways of meeting people and posting and all worked, which was mostly just a “calm down and go with the flow more, let go of your stupid rigid old habits” lmaooo.

12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

yES. Yeah. Hahaha ha h. 

But ummm, not usually. No. Most of my drama has been either A) me posting the very very softest, most diluted version of barely-touching on my politics and my real goddamn life and people being fuckin butthurt as hell about or B) cutting people who were toxic and draining out of my life. So.

13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

cw suicidal ideation ment

Yeah. Once I actually did — when I started college I just didn’t have the time, so I peaced from the larger community to just write with close friends for a while. I’ve also considered leaving the T.umblr RPC a few times, but really only because of long bad depressive episodes. Coming back and “not wanting to literally die irl ha Ha” and catching up with my drafts gets me back on track lmao. 

14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?

Positive! Sometimes I worry that I spend too much time wrapped up in fiction and miss my real life, but I’ve learned to keep my time more separate so now it’s just good to have a healthy hobby that makes me happy. Also I’m definitely a much better writer for it, and there a lot of networking skills I think translate to real workplace skills so it’s 👌

15. How has rp changed you personally?

See above, tbh. And it gives me a lot of good outlets for writing ideas that would otherwise stew in my head until I hated myself for never ever writing any lmao. It’s good.

16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

Oh, I dunno. I wish I could post replies from mobile more easily, god. That’d keep me a lot more on top of my drafts lmao.

17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

Not on any of the rp blogs. ;^)

18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why? 

No, wtf

19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?

Depends on the hate — things I feel need to be addressed or I want to be clear about not tolerating I’ll post. Personal hate and mean shit I delete.

Or if it’s stupid and makes me laugh I will definitely post that shit.

20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

Sometimes. If a partner is actually pressuring me I’m real good at saying uhhh hey, fuck off about that? but sometimes partners will perfectly-innocently be enthusiastic about things I’m not super comfortable with and that’s harder to bring up. So it’s..... more like I pressure myself, whoops.

21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

Ehh. Not really. Sometimes I’ll follow a friend of a friend despite lack of interest just because, like.... My friends are smart and good, maybe I’m just not getting the right “vibe” from their blog as who really they are. Sometimes that just means we never click and I unfollow them later. Or sometimes @rumdaydreams​ drags me straight to mutual hell and we write 20,000 unfinished bullshit and meet irl and she actually talks me into wholeass new blogs and muses. So, you know. Mix bag.

22. What would make you block someone?

Red flags for manipulation and lowgrade emotional a.buse, especially ones I viscerally feel in my stomach from previous experiences. Obvious r.ight-leaning politics ( Weirdly, I’m not particularly comfortable around people who don’t think I or my friends deserve to be treated like human beings! A character quirk, haha! )

Also ngl sometimes I block people just to remind myself I’ve followed them before and I don’t wanna re-follow them six times and look like I’m trying to intentionally harass them. My memory is bad but the block button always knows, lmao. 😅

23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?

Not intentionally — I try very hard not to steal hc from duplicates or take plots without asking. But, y’know, sometimes an idea sticks in your head and you eventually just forget where it originally came from.

24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?

Not that I’m aware of.

25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

Absolutely, for the most part! I like seeing other perspectives, and especially since @thewrongsorts​ is such a bigass multi it lowkey just makes my life easier.

There are a few exceptions — less because they’re duplicates and more because there are hc/fanon I just......dislike enough I don’t wanna write with them. Not a feeling that’s limited to duplicates tbh.

26. How do you feel about vague posting? 

Ehhh. It’s like not a great thing, but I get the appeal. I tend to unfollow if someone posts a lot of it because then they’re just passive-aggressive as a person, but the occasional vagueblog I don’t mind. Sometimes you gotta get shit off your chest but you don’t wanna make it a wholeass call-out, I get it.

27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?

Generally I unfollow. I’m here to write, if we’re not interacting it’s clogging my dash. ( Honestly I unfollow mutuals eventually if we never write.... ) But very occasionally someone’s got such good #takes and hc that I stick around just bc I stan.

28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?

A l w a y s.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

It’s nice! Like.... I wouldn’t require anyone to do it, but it makes people feel better about their blogs, it’s polite. I know I’m happier getting memes as well as passing them along. You know, be social. Connect with people. I always try to practice it, yeah.

30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?

Uhhh, yeah. My irl social circles are a lot of dumb gay millennials, we use a lot of dumb internet slang.

31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge?

Oh yeah! Joined Tumblr rpc ten years late with Starbucks! But also like.... I’m a web developer. 90% of my irl workskills are being good at Googlin’ shit. So I’ve pretty much always found the answer on my own, at least. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

32. Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? 

( See above. )

33. Have you ever experienced discrimination? 

Here or irl or....? I mean yes in any case, but much less often in the rpc specifically. This blog is a lot less outspoken ( both about politics or about who I....am....generally ) than most of my others or me irl.

Shoutout to that time I complained one (1) time about how copacetic the H.arry P.otter rpc is and an actual irl n.eon.azi jumped in my inbox lmaooooooo.

34. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

Uhhh, I don’t love it? But if they mostly chill and don’t fuck with my actual threads I usually ignore them. ¯\_( ‘ ‘ )_/¯

35. Have you ever cried while writing a reply?

No. I’m not like......good at crying. 😐

36. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

Depends on the blog. Some multis I follow are in fandoms I just like don’t even understand, so I don’t read those. Sometimes I just don’t got the energy. But I read a lot of my friends’ other threads or threads on blogs I stan.

Good writing is good shit and I’m.....a big 👀 bitch. Tbh.

37. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

Call-out posts, bringing real life politics into rp, generally acknowledging that we have lives outside of the fictional world that affect how we read and interact with fiction.

( 👏 The O.rder 👏👏 of the 👏 P.hoenix 👏👏 is A.ntif.a 👏👏👏 )

I don’t want to ever push that onto other people though, definitely. (Especially people affected by terrifying irl politics and coming here for escapism. )

38. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?

Always 👏👏 tag 👏👏 fucking 👏 triggers 👏👏👏

I tag things that are common or obviously upsetting, and if someone asks I add whatever tags they need to my list — the “list” is mostly a mental tally so I occasionally fuck up, but god I feel strongly about triggers.

Let 👏 people 👏 who are hurting 👏👏 live. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

39. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

Poking around to see how other people seem to “operate” and scrolling through posts about how to get started is so so so fucking helpful! Don’t be afraid to do it!

Also reach out to people as much as you can work up the spoons to. If they’re rude back to you, like..... They were never worth your time anyhow. You dodged a bullet.

( Value yourself 2k19 )

[deliverydefresas]

shape of you: bonus parts

I’ve been owing you these for months and i’m very sorry about that! thanks again to the anons who’ve reminded me you guys are the best!

there’s a couple more parts i have started writing but haven’t finished yet (one of them being the definite epilogue) so lets have our fingers crossed they’re done this year lmao 

i cant remember but it’s probs not proofread, sorry in advance

for all the previous parts click here  

                                                             💫

                                                             💫

MEETING FANS

They’d been going out on dates for a month before it hit Ámbar that she wasn’t dating a ‘normal’ person.

Simón had picked her up after her last class that Friday, telling her the guys – as he called his band- had invited them out for drinks so they could meet the girl who’d stolen his time and mind. She’d been reluctant at first, not really in the mood to go out after a long, stressed week of mid-terms, but Simón’s puppy face had become something she just couldn’t say no to.

They had dinner at their place first, ordering Chinese take-out as she let herself be questioned by Pedro and Nicolás. Simón’s friends weren’t as bad as she’d thought, talking mostly at Simón’s expense and sharing embarrassing details of the boy she’d been dating, as well as setting up ‘the talk’, warning her to not hurt their friend. Ámbar found it rather amusing; Pedro and Nico didn’t give the intimidating pose they tried to pull off, but a goofy, joking one, even if the underlying warning was there. Simón had shaken his head, telling her to ignore them, but she ended up promising she wouldn’t, more to their amusement than hers.

Eventually they hit one of the near-by bars close to their apartment, Simón’s hand firm on her waist and both of his friends backing them up through the crowd. It was a Friday night, so she wasn’t surprised to see that many people around, but she did wonder how they’d find a table to sit on with so many people around waiting for one as well, and whom, most likely, had been there longer than them.

It was when Nicolás disappeared for five minutes telling them he’d go talk to the manager, so they could be seated that it hit her.

It didn’t take long before the four of them had a table and drinks on their hands. If it had been her and her friends alone, they’d probably had to wait at least an hour before they could leave find seats available, but she was with her boyfriend, who happened to be in a famous band, and whose name had a weight heavier than she’d expected. It was a strange feeling, but she wasn’t going to lie and say she hated it. She didn’t love it, either, but she wasn’t about to complain when she was on heels. She also wasn’t shy to ask Nico what deal he’d to make.

The guy shrugged. “We just have to post a picture of us and tag the place. I’ll do that before we leave, I don’t wanna get mobbed today.” It sounded like it was nothing out of the norm, so she shrugged it off too, sipping on her mojito, waiting for them to carry on their conversation about writing sessions.

They’d only been on the bar for an hour before a girl around her age came up to them, interrupting Pedro’s question about her classes; she felt the weight of Simón’s arm around her shoulders fall, and she’d frowned at the missing contact. Her boyfriend threw her an apologetic smile before turning to the – clearly tipsy- girl, asking her if she needed anything.          

The girl started squealing how she was a big fan, and how she didn’t want to be a bother but that a picture with the guys would be a dream come true. Said guys all wore matching polite smiles – she wondered if they were practiced- and kindly told her they would if she didn’t post it right away, as they wanted to chill around for a bit more. The fan nodded multiple times, only turning to look at her to ask her if she could take the picture, her grin so big she was sure it hurt. The boys chatted her up for a total of five minutes, asking her standard questions before sending her off, begging her again not to post the picture right away. The girl said her goodbyes with shiny eyes and the biggest grin she had ever seen.

Ámbar would learn later that those were her favorite type of fans. The ones who were polite and only focused on the band, instead of those who’d throw distasteful glances at her whenever she was out with Simón, or those random people who clearly didn’t know who Simón and the rest were but wanted a picture anyway just to show they met them; she really couldn’t say those who tried to make a conversation with her were great, either, but that was mostly due to her inability to hold a conversation when all they wanted to talk about was Simón, how hot he was and how lucky she had been to snatch him up. She hated other girls objectifying him, and she hated that if affected her as much as it did.  

Her least favorite, though, were those who couldn’t take a no for answer; those who, even when the guys asked for them to give them a little of space, kept shoving their cameras on their faces. Her encounters with those were only a handful, but watching her boyfriend get harassed had proved to be too much for her, as two out those times, Antonio – the band’s manager- had to hold her back from behind to stop her from smacking some people’s faces.

In the end, however, a fan’s glee at finally meeting a person they admired so much was contagious, and 9 out of 10 times it left her with a smile on her face. It wasn’t easy, knowing that at one point or another, your boyfriend will prioritize strangers ahead of you, but she learnt to deal with it. Simón loved making other people happy, so the happy grin on his face whenever he met them was enough reason for her to bear it.

                                                            💫

READING ONLINE ABOUT HERSELF

They’d been dating around three months when the first picture of them appeared online.

It was blurry, clearly taken by someone who was trying their best to be sneaky and quick, a prominent zoom if the way it was noticeable pixilated was any tell.  

Sadly, it wasn’t blurry enough to couldn’t tell it was them. Simón’s face was fully displayed, laughing about something they were talking about, his arm around her while she rested her head on the crook of his neck, making only her profile visible. It’d been taken on one of their many lunch dates, half-eaten food in front of them told her so.

It went viral everywhere.

And so, the hunting for her identity begun. Every single media she knew of wanted to know her name, her age, where she studied – if she studied-, how they’d met and why he decided to date her. It escalated to the point of a magazine offering money for her information. Ámbar never felt luckier to go to a private university, where none of the people who knew her cared enough to sell her out.

Sadly, her relief lasted only a week. Simón was leaving the country to a meeting with their label when Emilia’s text reached her phone. ‘The cat is out of the bag; someone ratted you out’ following with the link of an article: ‘Meet Ámbar Smith: Simón Álvarez’ new flame’. Her breath caught on her throat, while her fingers flew to open the link. The more she read, the tighter her chest felt; they’d left no personal detail untold.

They knew her full name, they knew her age, her uni, what she was studying and the year she was on, that she was on a scholarship and had a nearly perfect GPA; that she lived with her mom and had a younger brother on his dad’s side, her mom’s job and her dad’s office. They knew she was a co-founder of The Fab and Chic, that it was her who’d interview him all those months ago, theorizing that was how they’d met and how long they’d been dating. They briefly mentioned his relationship with Matteo, too.  

Ámbar almost started screaming in the middle of the airport. As if Simón could feel her mood changing, he turned around from where he was talking to Pedro to ask her if something was wrong. He’d asked her at least five times what the problem was, but she just couldn’t speak. It wasn’t until Pedro – or was it Nico? She didn’t remember- opened twitter and showed him what was happening that Simón understood. That��d been the first time she saw him truly pissed off.

“How dare they?!” he’d growled, gripping the phone so hard his knuckles turned white. Someone must’ve told him she was still there, because then he turned to her, his arms holding her tight and his tone going down a few octaves, softer. “I’m so sorry, love. I will fix this, I promise I will.”

Her mind went back to the conversation she’d had with Emilia months ago, about how the exposure of the article could get her name out there, how she wished it would. But now, with her personal information, with her life, only a google search away from the public, she felt sick. “This can’t be happening.” She started mumbling, her mind a chaos. “How did they find out? Who could sell me out like this?” Only a couple of people knew what was told to the media, and all of them were trust-worthy. Either one of those people was scum, or the magazine was very good at stalking and digging up information.

“Baby, no. I’ll take care of it, okay? I’ll speak to Antonio and he’ll speak to our lawyer and we’ll see what we can do, alright? I’ll sue them if I can, make them delete it-”

That made her snap. “It’s all over the internet, Simón! Nothing ever gets completely deleted there! There must be thousands of screenshots already!” Even to her ears she sounded panicked. Her boyfriend’s face fell even more, and she felt worse.

Ámbar knew he’d do everything he could to make her happy. He’d proven that to her time and time again, he always asked first what she wanted to do, what she wanted to eat, which movies she wanted to watch, for him, it was always about her and her wishes. It was her who didn’t want to divulge their relationship just yet, and now, instead of his fans finding out their way, from their mouths, they’d found out by someone else’s. And it was her own fault.

That only pissed her more.

“What do you want to do?” he asked, grabbing her hand to push her to his body, encircling his arms around her waist. She took a deep breath, trying to sigh out her emotions.

“I’m sorry, I know you’re trying to help but I’m just- I’m so mad I just want blood to spill.”

“I understand.” He squeezed her waist slightly, “I’m serious, though. I can call Antonio and we can see how this can be… not as bad. I’ll sue them if that’s what you want.” She felt her heart swell with gratitude. As usual, though, she’d to ask him.

“Is that what you want?”

“This is about you, little gem. But yes, I do want to fight them on this. It’s not only your privacy being stepped on, but Silvana’s and your dad’s, too.”

“I want to know how they did this, and who did it. I want my parent’s info deleted as soon as possible, I don’t care about mine right now, but theirs I want gone.” Ámbar mumbled on his chest, knowing he’d hear it as his head was casted downwards, above hers.

She felt him nod. “I really am sorry, love.”

“Don’t be. I knew this would come sooner than later, and it was me who gave them time to collect my information, instead of me directing their moves.” She sighed out, mentally slapping herself for letting this pass by.

“It’s not your fault they’re assholes.” He tried to make her feel better. Ámbar just hugged him tighter. He held her for about a minute more, before excusing himself to call his manager and publicist and see what he could do.

An hour later, after Simón and his band’s flight had taken off, she’d received another text from her best friend. ‘He did it. It’s gone.’ She let out a sigh of relief.

But she wasn’t stupid. Ámbar knew this was only the beginning, and that, as much as she’d like, they wouldn’t be able to afford erasing every single article someone happened to write about her. It just wasn’t viable.

She did, however, promise herself that, the next time an article popped out about her, it’d be on her terms.

                                                            💫

GETTING PAPARAZZI’ED ON A DATE

It took the media another month before they got another photograph of them together.

Or, well, multiple pictures.

Simón had decided he wanted to take her to a ‘nice’ restaurant to celebrate the end of her semester. Ámbar knew this was also his way of coaxing her into going out for dates instead of the nights in she’d been convincing him to have at his apartment. It wasn’t that she was explicitly limiting them to stay inside the comfort – and privacy- of his home, but she wanted to take precautions in case anyone involved her parents again.

Whom, unsurprisingly, hadn’t heard of their info being leaked until she asked them if they were okay. Her mom had been taken off guard at first, wondering if she needed to change jobs or warn her boss about teenagers and grown men with a camera, but as soon as Simón told her it wasn’t necessary, and that he’d taken care of it, she’d dismissed the whole ordeal and asked her daughter’s boyfriend if he wanted to have dinner with them. Her dad wasn’t as chill. First, because he didn’t even know she was dating a famous band member, and second, he wasn’t thrilled she was exposing her life by dating one. He’d questioned her reasons, asking her if living in expectation of what the world had to say about her everyday was what she wanted, forever shadowed by her boyfriend’s name wherever she went.

She wasn’t proud to admit she’d snapped at him, throwing at his face that he’d left her mom raise her alone after she turned three, and that for that, he had no reason to butt in her relationship. She wasn’t even sure they were going to last, anyway. Nothing was set on stone when it came to relationships. In the end, he’d grunted out that he was okay and promised to call her if something happened, so she could talk to Simón and see what they could do. He also made Simón promise him he’d meet him soon. Ámbar still grimaced when she remembered how awkward that had been; her dad with his ‘hurt my daughter and die’ attitude, her dad’s wife all star-struck and giving out barely coherent responses to Simón’s questions, and her bored, not at all impressed brother making faces at his meal. She wanted to dig a hole and die.

Just like right now.

The dinner itself had gone splendid, the five-course meal always appreciated, especially when it came with a nice sized brownie and ice-cream scoop. She knew something was amiss when Simón asked for the check and the waiter told him it was taken care of. Not because it surprised her, but because it surprised him. She was used to Simón nodding, or even smiling when it happened. To see him frown, though, had her with her guard up.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered as she leaned to him, forcing him to look her way.

“I don’t know the owner, much less asked them to arrange this.” His voice sounded a little strangled, but he squeezed her thigh to not worry her.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” He huffed, squeezing once more before excusing himself to make a call. She was left alone at their table, confused. The waiter – who hadn’t left yet- seemed to be anxious, looking over his shoulder a couple of times as he waited for Simón to return. She forced herself to smile at him, even when all she wanted to do was to run to her boyfriend and demand an explanation. In the end, she chose to call for the guy’s attention. The waiter’s eyes widened in surprise, but still walked to her side.

“Do you know who arranged for this?”

He gulped. “I’m afraid I’m not allowed to tell you anything, miss.” Ámbar threw him a glare, the one she knew expressed she wasn’t going to take anyone’s bullshit. “The- uh, the manager might’ve arranged for a couple of photographers to come tonight-”

Her glare intensified. “Did my- Mr. Álvarez’ team agree to this?”

The guy loosened his tie a bit. “We uh- well, the calls weren’t returned.” She pursed her lips for a second, nodding as she stood up to look for Simón.

“I’m sure you’ll hear from them very soon.” She didn’t bother to excuse herself, and just walked away.

Ámbar found her boyfriend walking outside the bathrooms’ hallway, angrily whispering to whoever was on the other side. She called his name, making him snap his head her way; when his brain recognized it was her, he threw a hast goodbye to the phone and hung up.

“Love, I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t know anything. The owner-” She raised her right hand, stopping him.

“I know, the waiter told me. What’s the plan?” Simón sighed heavily and got close enough so he could pull her to his body, encircling his arms around her. Something she’d learnt he tended to do when he was trying to comfort her, and his own anger.

“There’s only a couple of them out there, two or three, max. It’s not enough for Antonio to send someone over, and since this place collides with another building on the back, we can’t go out from there either. Both the principal exit and the emergencies one, are on the front.” He sighed again, the air hitting her neck, making her shudder. He must’ve mistaken it for fear, because he pulled her closer, cradling her head between his hands. “I promise I won’t let them publish anything. If I must pay them the double whoever called them over did, I will, princess… or I could go out alone and call you when-”

That made her scowl. “Don’t call me princess.” He smiled, knowing well she was only kidding – partially. Then it was her turn to sigh. “You don’t have to pay them anything, Simón. I can’t keep letting you waste your money to keep them off my back, it’s not fair. I- I think we should just… get it out of our way.”

“I don’t mind-”

She interrupted him. “I know you don’t mind wasting that money, but I do. I’m ready to take that step, Simón. I want to. Unless you see us breaking up soon – which, by the way, I don’t- there’s absolutely no reason to keep us hidden.”

He stared at her for a moment, before the biggest smile she’d seen on his face, appeared. “I don’t see us breaking up soon, either. Hopefully never.” Ámbar rolled her eyes.

“Now, don’t get too ahead on me yet.” His only response was to attach his lips to hers. He kissed her once, softly, pulling back slightly to breath heavily before kissing her again. This time he let his tongue roam over the ridges of her lips, and it took everything in her not to open her mouth to allow his tongue to meet hers; they were still in public, whether she wanted it or not. So, she let their lips part briefly, to then kiss him again, soft and gentle, before pulling away completely. “As nice as that was, we still have to deal with the problem here, buttchin.”

Simón pouted, showing off his chin dimple – aka, the reason of his nickname-. “Don’t call me that.”

She rolled her eyes again, smirking playfully, and grabbed his hand. “C’mon, I want to go home and kiss you some more.” He was quick to drop the pout.

“Should I pay for our meal? I don’t want anything from them.” She shook her head, lacing her fingers with his as they walked to the entrance.    

“And give them free publicity? Hell no. Just talk to Antonio and have them pay you back.” When she saw their waiter and a man approaching them, she glared at them, a deep scowl on her face, warning them to stay away. If she was going to allow this to happen, she didn’t want to do it angry. And talking to the person who had put her in the situation would surely anger her up.

As he helped her put her coat on, he took the opportunity to whisper on her ear a couple of instructions. “If you don’t want to show your whole face just keep your head down, grab my hand tightly and I’ll guide us to the car once it’s brought to us. I’ll chat them up and, if we’re lucky, they’ll just take a couple of pictures with the restaurant as our background. If you feel uncomfortable squeeze my hand tightly. If they ask me something and you’re okay with me answering, squeeze my hand once, twice if it’s a negative, okay?” By the time he’d finished talking he was already putting his own coat on. She merely nodded, offering her hand so he’d take it again. He counted to ten before walking them outside.

True to his word, there were only three men outside waiting for them. Ámbar was quick to lower her eyes, hiding half of her body with his as she leaned her forehead on his right shoulder. It was in times like this when she was thankful her boyfriend was tall enough so even if she was in heels, she could still use him as a shield.

“Good evening!” he chirped out, and she could bet all the money on the world he was faking a grin. They all chorused his greeting, asking him if he was okay with answering a couple of questions as they took their pictures. She squeezed his hand once. “Sure! What do you want to know?” his tone was cheerful, and polite.

“Did you two have a nice time?” one of the men asked, and Ámbar could hear the flashes going off. She squeezed once again.

“I had the best company, so yes.”

“Your girlfriend’s a beauty.” Another of them offered, making Simón squeeze her hand this time. She squeezed back.

It took him a second to respond, a little less cheery, but still polite. “She is, thank you.”

“How long have you two been dating? Some people had thought you had broken up after no one had seen you out for weeks.” The first men spoke again, his curiosity clear as water.    

Ámbar gripped his hand once, sending a silent prayer to the skies for whoever was bringing his car to hurry. “A while. I think you can imagine why we laid low the last month.” His answer was enough for them to get the hint. They moved the topic to his album, getting two more questions before the sound of an engine told her his car had arrived. “I’m afraid we have to go now. Thank you, gentlemen. Have a nice evening.” Her boyfriend started walking again, leading her to the passenger side and opening the door for her, as usual. For the first time, she didn’t look back at him to thank him. Instead, she kept her head low, letting her hair fall to cover her profile. He was quick to get into his side.

It wasn’t until they had drove off for a couple of streets, that she looked up again, letting a long, heavy sigh leave her lips. Simón grabbed her hand again, kissing the back of it comfortingly.

She sighed again. Wishfully hoping for it to get easier, even if she knew tonight was nothing compared to other times she’d seen other people deal with paparazzies.  

They’d gotten lucky tonight, who knew what it’d happen from now?  

[otabangbang]

The Sliding Tiger: Part Three

Read Part 2 HERE Now where the heck is Yuri from? Why is he so chipper about all of this? Otabek learns more about his strange companion.

When it came to music, Otabek knew he had it down. Once he and Yuri were in the car and ready to drive he already had songs and even mixes in mind, but he could only do so much while driving. The car had a good CD changer in it however and he knew which CD might make the mysterious blonde feel just plain awesome, and within seconds Yuri had flown for the volume control to crank it up.

"Hell yea!" he was yelling out the window as they got back on the road nearing early evening. "Forget doing this down the streets of Zarvad!"

Otabek just laughed and drove. He knew getting some food in Yuri was important as well as stopping and figuring shit out, but he still didn't stop at the first cafe he saw. He kept going - Yuri was all smiles, all fun, sticking his hand out the window of the car and letting his fingers ride in the air as it whooshed on by. For someone who had come from Spain and mysteriously woken naked in Russia, he was handling it all oddly well.

It wasn't like Otabek was going to complain about that though and so he told his mind not to dwell on it.

When they did stop, it was at a large place outside of the destination town. Otabek had no idea what Yuri might like so he chose a restaurant that looked like general foodfare. "Here work?" he asked, parking the car.

"Mm! Actual Russian food - PIROSHKI!" he shouted suddenly and it made Otabek startle. "Oh fuck, Piroshki! It's been so many years!"

Otabek blinked. He had piroshki often and it didn't seem that special. "Um...?"

"We have to check the menu first. If there's no piroshki we go somewhere else," Yuri said, shooting a fierce look at Otabek.

Another person may have withered, but Otabek found it amusing and he agreed. "Fine, fine. Let's-"

"I'll check and come get you!" Yuri threw off his seatbelt and opened the door so fast he nearly banged it against the side of the blue car next to them. He bolted out and Otabek was staring after him.

It may have been a smart idea to go after him, but instead Otabek checked his phone. He needed to know if Viktor had any ideas and luckily there was a message waiting for him:

'Plisetsky? Sounds familiar. I don't know from where, though. Why?'

'I think I knew someone with that name in Yakov's training camp. I ran across someone else who went and the name came up.' That was technically truthful. 'Would you ask Yakov if he knew a Yuri Plisetsky?'

He had time to ask that and then there was knocking on his window. He turned to see Yuri was all smiles, which likely meant piroshki. Otabek nodded and unbuckled his belt. He then proceeded to lean across the passenger seat and pull Yuri's door closed, as it had just been left wide open.

When he opened his own door again to get out and give Yuri some shit, Yuri was already darting off again to the entrance of the place. Otabek could only hurry after him into the restaurant and eventually to a little booth table by the window.

They both ordered off the cluttered menu quickly. He had claimed not to be hungry, but Yuri sure could put away piroshki. He was on the food like a caged tiger on a fresh kill. Otabek tried not to stare but caught himself doing it anyway. It was a good thing that Yuri was too busy chowing down to notice.

Otabek let him keep going, eating slowly himself as he also scrolled on his phone. He was looking up Yuri's town to try and find information. If there was a missing person report he would need to know before they went any further. Yuri told him it was a town called Zarvad.

The problem was, he couldn't find a town called Zarvad anywhere in Spain. It was possible there was an error with the map he was using, but various internet searches were giving him nothing. His best guess was Yuri was muddled and couldn't quite get the name right. It occurred to Otabek that perhaps Yuri had a concussion.

When Yuri slowed down in his eating, Otabek addressed it. "Yuri, do you have a headache at all? Any of your body feel weird? I want to know if you might have a concussion."

Yuri shot him a confused look. "I feel okay. I don't think I hit my head, if that's what you're asking."

"Mmm, it pretty much is. You don't know how you got here and well...Yuri, I'm not finding this town you mentioned, Zarvad. I've been looking on my phone and I just can't find any trace of  it. I thought maybe if you had injured your head, you gave the wrong name."

"No, it's Zarvad." Yuri sounded irritated. "Look, it's not my problem you're that bad with the internet."

Otabek ignored the snide comment. "There's also...you don't seem that disturbed for someone who lives in Spain but suddenly happened to wake up in Russia." He didn't want to think that Yuri was insane. That almost sounded like what he was suggestiong though so he braced for a tongue-lashing.

It didn't happen. "That's a fair statement." Yuri sipped at a glass of orange juice in thought. He then swirled his straw in it slowly before speaking. "I can't tell you how many times I hoped I would just...escape back here from Spain. I don't like it. The people who moved me there made it even more miserable. I wanted to be back here with my Grandpa. I fucking dreamed of waking up anywhere other than Zarvad."

The people who moved him... "Did you not live with your parents?"

"Foster system, adoption," Yuri hissed. "Couple of fools who took in myself and a couple of others because of how it might benefit them. Couldn't go to my Grandpa when they took me, and they took me and got the fuck out of town. Didn't have the means to get out even as an adult."

Otabek's heart fell. Somehow he hadn't expected that. He hadn't expected the young soldier to be put in such a position. "I see."

Yuri scowled. "Hey, don't. I don't want your pity, you're a stranger really. Do I look like I need pity? No, I need my real family and the cat I used to have."

"I'd say you need a fucking friend and here I am," Otabek shot back, pretending he wasn't impressed by Yuri's sharp tongue. The guy could easily stand up for himself.

"I-...shut up." Yuri suddenly was so quiet after being so direct, and he averted his gaze.

Otabek blinked, noticing a slight blush on his cheeks when his phone went off and he opened the message. He read it once, then again, and had to keep his reaction silent when it was near impossible. Viktor had replied: 'Yes, Yakov remembers this Yuri Plisetsky! He was extremely talented and I think maybe I did meet him. But one day he stopped showing up at the rink. Why are you asking this?'

He could answer in so many ways, but Otabek chose the most direct, and the easiest way to make sure poor Yuuri wasn't stuck with information he had to keep secret. 'I think I met him...talk to Yuuri for details so I can get back to driving soon'. Not that they were done yet, but his head had immediately began to swim and he wanted to speak more to Yuri.

Yuri...who was talking to him. Otabek quickly realized he was being spoken to by his new friend. "Otabek? Otabek? You look spaced out, bad news message?" he asked, nodding toward his phone.

"Oh, no. Just trying to figure more out. Turns out, my friend had heard of you. Remember anyone named Yakov from your time in St. Petersburg?"

Yuri continued to look at him. "Ah, I don't know. Should I?"

"Maybe. Seems you took some classes with him as a boy." That was fudging it a bit but bringing it all up and again mentioning Viktor - he just didn't want to throw too much too soon at him.

"And how did you learn that?"

"I texted that friend of mine and he decided to ask someone who might know."

"Oh." Yuri shrugged and returned to his orange juice. "Guess it makes sense to ask teachers, they would know students, but they have so many. I wonder why this Yakov remembers me? Huh, does seem familiar though. Too bad I got taken away so young."

Otabek couldn't place a finger on the mood. It had gone from okay to a little heavy and stressful to...to something. It was like Yuri wanted Otabek to ask him about himself but was too nervous or proud to say that. Luckily for him, Otabek had been curious for longer than anyone knew. "Why were you taken away?"

"Awful bold question when you've just met me."

"What, like you wouldn't ask me if I was saying that shit?"

Yuri huffed and glared, but he did answer. "Mom couldn't take care of me on her own. Dad was...mean. He got more violent for some reason right before some stuff happened, I don't know, it's hard to remember. Maybe that's for the best. So they took me."

"Foggy memory?"

"Yup."

"Trauma, maybe post-traumatic stress..."

"Maybe. Nothing anyone was going to do about it. I just ended up in Spain. So I hope...I hope I can go back to St. Petersburg. All I need to do is get there. That's all." He was desperate, he was pleading, and Otabek knew he wouldn't say no to just bringing him back.

"I'll help you." Otabek worked on the coffee he had ordered, not knowing if he even needed it. When they did get to the hotel, how was he going to sleep?

"All things considered, I shouldn't believe you when you say that...but at the same time, nothing says that. I don't know enough about you or what the hell happened to trust or not trust you," Yuri babbled. He was looking vulnerable again even without the blushing.

Otabek understood, though. "I don't just say things for the sake of doing so, you'll see. We'll figure this out and get you to where you want to be." He said it firmly.

Yuri looked at the table, at the leftover food he clearly had no will to finish. He poked at the plate and nodded slowly. "Thank you."

The sun was setting when they finally rolled up to a hotel after another very loud and musical ride. Yuri had his head out the window for half of it, and the second half he was rubbing his eyes while complaining about bugs that had hit his face. Otabek had just laughed.

The hotel wasn't much to look at, in a building attached to another building attached to a bank. But it was reasonably priced without giving the idea of being a shithole, so Otabek had taken them to it. An expensive hotel might have been fun, but if he was going to backtrack to take Yuri home and feed them both and then even attempt to get to the big gig - five stars was out of his range.

Yuri didn't say a peep about it. Otabek figured he was just glad to be somewhere stable for the night - somewhere he could rest and put his thoughts together. So they checked in with a weird desk clerk who stared at Yuri like he was seeing a ghost.

"Do you know me?" Yuri had asked in a surprisingly soft voice. Otabek knew he wanted answers.

The man had swallowed and his hands shook as he handed Otabek a piece of paper to sign. Otabek signed it and the man all but shooed them away to their room before running off to some back room.

Odd.

Otabek left some of his equipment in the car, covered by a large sheet. It was probably just fine but he didn't trust the unfamiliar place when he couldn't see the car from the window. The room was on the second floor and had a view of...a building next door.

However the room itself was nice - a comfy red carpet, two queen beds, thick curtains, a minifridge and microwave, big television, all that. Yuri quickly bounced onto the bed furthest from the door and turned on the TV. Otabek didn't stop him. He didn't care what he chose to watch, and Yuri didn't even ask.

Somehow, they ended up on a nature program about bears.

Otabek hadn't been paying attention to what was on before, but he perked up when he saw a cute black bear galloping across a road like an awkward big puppy. His ears were round just like a teddy bear, eyes bright and inquisitive as he looked in the direction of the camera. Otabek smiled and chuckled softly.

It earned an immediate look from Yuri. "You really like bears, huh?"

"Yup."

"I saw the bear on your underwear. You know, the pair I'm wearing." Yuri shook his head in disbelief. "Shit. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to buy you a drink before I get in your pants. Too bad I have no money," he lamented and then laughed.

"Ha. I-haha-uh yea," Otabek faltered, then groaning at himself for not being smooth at all. Yuri even had a raised eyebrow. Otabek looked away in his embarrassment. "Just buy me a drink next time." He had never been great with play-flirting. Additionally, he never flirted with anyone seriously, so he wasn't all that practiced on quick response.

"Next time I...get in your pants...?"

"I meant after! Fuck."

"You are terrible at kidding around." Yuri laid down completely on his back. "But...before I forget, what the hell am I sleeping in tonight? I don't want to stay in these same clothes."

"I don't know. I sleep in boxers and sometimes a short sleeve shirt. You can borrow a shirt if you want." At least Yuri had immediately ruled out the possibility he slept in the nude. That could have been awkward, even more awkward than the brief exchange they just had.

Otabek was silently bitching at himself for being so stupid, but even Yuri being silly made his heart race inexplicably as he began to feel something click into place again.

Yuri hummed. "I could, but the hotel has a little shop down there with some drinks and snacks. Think there's robes?"

"You want to sleep in a robe?"

Yuri nodded. "I want to be comfortable. It's not like my foster parents made me sleep on a rock. But the bed was old and sucked and this bed is nice. I want to complete it with a nice soft robe," he told Otabek.

Otabek nodded back. It seemed a little extra to him, but whatever. "Call down to the front desk, then."

Yuri groaned and rolled over toward the room phone. "Alright," he said, and as he did Otabek's phone vibrated.

He picked it up to look at the newest message, and it was in all capital letters: 'YOU PICKED UP SOME RANDOM NAKED GUY BY THE LAKE? WHAT KIND OF TRIP IS THIS?'

Oh Victor. Otabek could imagine the tantrum he'd worked himself into. He texted him back. 'Uh-huh. Yuri Plisetsky. He's fine, hasn't tried to murder me.'

He had switched to his Instagram for a moment while waiting for a message back, Yuri speaking loudly and slowly on the phone. He didn't have to waste time on the app long before Victor messaged back. 'Otabek, I doubt that's Yuri. There's no record of him anywhere after Yakov's class. It's strange.'

That did seem strange, but if he'd left an abusive parent and went into the foster system, then maybe he would be hard to track down. 'He went to Zarvad, Spain, ever heard of it?' Maybe Victor would find the town, or something. The information could help him find something on Yuri that had been locked up too.

Then he put the phone down, just as Yuri hung up the phone. "The store got robes?"

"Even better." Yuri was grinning. "They can be requested as a room service goodie, and I got one for you too."

"For me?"

"Yep. Listen, what you said earlier, when you said I needed a friend...it was dorky as shit. But you're right. I should have shaken your stupid hand at that table."

Otabek felt heat rush to his face. There was no hiding it. "Yup. This has what to do with robes?"

"Well friends do some cheesy shit together, yea? I had some pals in Zarvad but I had to force myself around them. Being back in Russia is like...a fresh start. So come on. Get in a stupid robe along with me and let's hang out here until you figure out the fuck is going on. Deal?"

Otabek blinked. Sometimes he had to force himself too, even though for the most part he stayed as himself around everyone. It could be difficult. He had the bad boy persona, and for the most part he was proud of it. He owned it in various ways. But at the same time, some fans and buddies expected it to be amped up every day all day and he had other sides of himself he didn't always feel comfortable in showing.

Yuri was offering him more than he knew. So Otabek nodded as a small smile formed on his face. "Deal."

[crimson-of-the-earth]

Why I (Don’t)... [A New Annoying Series] Actual Title: Why I Don’t Take Commissions From Strangers Anymore

Hey, guys! So I’ve been in a sort of rant-y mood lately and I’ve just posted a vent a few days ago about why I train for mat wrestling instead of going to wrestling school.

I thought that since I’m probably gonna be posting a lot more of this kind of rant/vent posts, I figured I’d make it a series where I can:

Rant/Vent about certain topics

Answer asks regarding said topic or

Give my thoughts and opinions about certain stuff

Under the cut will be the actual rant so if you’re not into these sorts of posts, either ignore this or blacklist the words ‘rant’ and ‘vent’ so you won’t have to see further installments of this series.

Why I Don’t Take Fanfic Commissions From Strangers Anymore

You guys probably didn’t know this (that’s on purpose since I don’t think my work is good enough. and besides, i don’t have a paypal account) but I take fanfic commissions from either my friends, my family, my classmates, my professors; Basically anyone who is willing to shell out money for my work.

I originally posted my commission prices on my class’ (or ‘block’ as we refer to it here) group DMs. I did the whole 9 yards; I posted to the PE Group, the Western Cuisine Group, the Bar and Beverage Management Group; I posted that commission list to every school/class related group DM I had, and I’m sure I pissed off a few people because most of them were in all of those groups as well so they’d seen the same list over and over again. Sure, my commission list was pretty full, but none of the works I was working with were like more than 2,000 words so I was finishing them rather quickly.

The way I do these commissions is through Google Docs or MS Word and send through e-mail, but the payment has to be handed to me in person the day before I start the commission, either half or full price upfront depending on the trust I have with the client.

Now, it may seem like I’m rambling but all this will make sense in a second.

So, a lot of my clientele (if you could call it that) are people from my friends circle, or people who have the same major as me, same classes as me, or basically just people I interact with on a daily basis and/or know on a basic level. 

I keep this business a secret from my family because I’ll admit it: I don’t like sharing hard-earned money unless it’s important. I know that makes me sound horrible but what I do with the money I’ve earned is treat my mom or my sister or both to go to the mall, maybe buy a few nice things for them to kinda...give back to them. Sometimes, I even tell my mom to just not give me lunch money on certain days because I can buy food for myself, saving her money to treat herself with. If they knew about my “job” as a fanfic writer, they’d constantly borrow money from me that I could’ve spent giving my mom and my sister gifts.

Now that that’s outta the way, onto the actual rant.

Like I said, I take commissions from my classmates who I have the same classes/major with or professors with whom I have classes with. So I know everyone who commissions me in the event of a discrepancy, regarding either the agreed-upon word count, confusion about prices, wanting refunds, etc., etc., they could easily approach me for it or leave a note in my locker with their name, commission details, class/subject we both have, and any concern they might have. (It’s very detailed for a fanfic commission, I know. It would’ve been easier if this was all done digitally but just like with everything else, I need receipts in case of any mishaps that might happen.)

Since I use the same format for new commissions, someone from the IT College (mind you, I’m an HRS/Hospitality & Restaurant Services major) submitted a request note saying that they would like to commission me for a 10,000+ word, multi-chaptered work, and told me to meet up at the school canteen later at lunch that day to discuss details. 

I was already cringing at that point because, let’s face facts here: College students don’t really have any money to spare unless they’re either really rich or they have a part-time job. And the fic they wanted was going to be at least $105 (₱5,600 = $38 + my time [$10] + the extra details they wanted [which estimated around $20 since they asked for basically purple prose descriptions] + the prologue [which costs exactly the same price for a one-shot, 1,000< word fic $5) and I know they aren’t gonna have the money to pay upfront.

When we met up, he told me all the details, that he wanted the prologue to be more than 1,000 words, and I immediately warned them that that would cost extra since the price for a standard, 1000< fic would be $5/₱300 but they still wanted it so their total was now up to $110. 

I know that sounds like an absurd amount of money to charge a college student but mind you, they wanted at least 30,000 words spread throughout 5 chapters, excluding the prologue which was about 2,500, and they wanted it to be as descriptive as I can write it. And also, this was the cheapest I could go for such a lengthy piece, given the client’s situation and my time and expertise. Which means that I have to either rush out other commissions or tell those clients that their commission would be finished at a later date, both of which I didn’t want to do because if I rush a story, it’ll end up not being worth the money I was given. And I don’t want my clients to wait any longer than, say, a week for a 1,000 word fanfic. Fics of that length shouldn’t even take me a week, I finish those in like 1-3 days depending on how many commissions I have, or my personal situation.

Now, back to the absurd commission. I calculated the price right in front of him so there would be no further questions or complaints as to how the price was how it was, and I had them make a recording on my phone saying that they agree with the price, again another safety net for me should anything go wrong.

Now, since the price was a certainly beyond what he could’ve had as his lunch money at the time, I decided to make the mistake decision to let them pay half when I send them the WIP screenschot of the prologue and the rest when it’s done. That way, they’d have more than enough time to save up some of the money since it’d taken me 3 weeks to finish that. I also made him record himself on my phone saying that he agreed to this payment method.

Cue the day I send them the screenshot of the prologue (which was well over a week after the price agreement) and told them “alright, like in our agreement, we can meet up at school so you can pay half like we agreed, then I can finish the entire thing.” Lo and behold, they reply to me with “oh, I don’t have the money yet. It’s been a rough couple of weeks, I had to spend a bit of money to help with tuition and bills and stuff.”

Now, I get it: Life can be a surprising bitch and it’ll spring up awful situations when you least expect it, especially when you’re in college like we were. So, against my better judgement, I let them know that they can pay full price once I’m done, which they again agreed to. I have the screenshots but for my and this client’s privacy, I won’t post them here. (and because I’m too lazy to block the names out of the screenshots)

Well, 3 weeks later and the fanfic was finally done and out of my hair, I asked around the IT professors if the client was one of their students. Guess what? 

Turns out they fucking dropped out of the school one week prior. So I messaged them, politely and professionally, to remind them of the fic they commissioned and they had the fucking balls to say, and I quote:

“Can you just fucking leave me alone? That commission was a prank and you fucking fell for it, loser. Do you actually think that people want to pay for stories? Fuck, I can write the story myself and it would be 10 times better than the commission I had you make for me. Good luck with your failing business, bitch.”

After that, I just...I ripped that asshole a new one, saying that if they could make a better story, why commission for it, even if it was just a prank, bro? I said a lot more but I don’t want to remember that time. It was a bad time for me because it was so upsetting wasting precious time, energy and skill, only to be scammed out of an insane amount of money.

I already knew, even before I started my commissions, that fanfic commissions were gonna be a niche market since, y’know, people already don’t want to pay for a fucking “art piece that I could’ve made myself”, so I prepared myself for the backlash I’d get from outraged people who would complain about me being a “selfish bitch because you charge for a bunch of words on the internet”.

But to be burned this bad is just so upsetting. I literally cried in the bathroom that day because I just felt so stupid for making that one mistake of letting someone outside of my usual clientele circle to not only request a commission but not letting them pay upfront like I always do with other commissions.

Since then, I’ve never let a stranger commission me ever again because I was just so traumatized by it that I don’t want to feel that way again. I never want to feel stupid because I did something out of the kindness of my heart. I don’t wanna be made a fool simply for being nice to someone. 

This was a very long one because it’s such a personal story of mine that just really grinds my gears everytime I think about it.

To the people who do commissions of any kind, (whether it be art, adoptables, fanfiction, YCHs, or whatevs) NEVER BREAK YOUR BUSINESS MODELS LIKE I DID. Especially your payment conditions. I was stupid to do so, so please

Don’t repeat the same mistake that I did.

[polkari-seuta]

[Fic Request] Celebrity Crush

Eh-heh, please ignore the parts that say, “2 years ago”...

Anyway, here’s a two-fer. Sorry that I took so long. I doubt the anons who requested these prompts are even around anymore, but I can’t leave a prompt undone, even if it takes another two years.

Title: Celebrity Crush Word Count: 2.6k Pairing: Jikook Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant; kind of humorous, too, I guess Summary: Jungkook thought bringing up celebrity crushes with his boyfriend Jimin would be fun, but it bit him in the butt.

Also on AO3.

Beta-ed by the awesome @jikookielove

Jungkook really enjoyed his and his boyfriend Jimin's post-coital conversations. After the intense heat of sex and passionate love, it felt good to laugh and just enjoy each other's company.

Right now, Jimin was curled under the old faded yellow duvet (Jungkook made a mental note to buy him another), pressed against him, his legs nudged between Jungkook's. Their bodies were warm and a little sticky, but familiar and filled with easy comfort.

"You know how some couples give their boyfriend or girlfriend a pass on celebrity crushes?" Jungkook brought up, sliding a hand idly up Jimin's waist.

"Hm?" Jimin uttered, his voice soft and gravelly, "What do you mean?"

"Like if you were to let me cheat on you with one celebrity in the world, who—"

"Jungkook, what the hell?" Jimin cut in indignantly, poking him hard in the chest. "What kind of couple does that?"

"It's just for fun, baby," Jungkook soothed, kissing his nose. "I wouldn’t really cheat on you. It's just…" Now, he felt bad. It seemed more amusing when he read about it on the internet. "Eh, forget I said anything."

But then Jimin let out a relenting sigh. He burrowed himself further into Jungkook, as if he could lose physical contact with him any second, "No, no, sorry. I'll humor you. Who's your celebrity crush? Wait—IU, right?"

Jungkook giggled and kissed him again; this time on the top of his head. "You know it."

"You're so predictable." Jimin said it in a scoff, but something mild still laced itself through. "But sure. If we were in some twisted universe, I'd allow you to fuck IU… only once, though."

"Once would be all I'd need."

Jimin scowled. He still looked uncomfortable about it. "I can't believe we're having this conversation."

Jungkook didn't want him to go to bed feeling crappy. "Jimin-baby, we don't have to keep talking about it. I know it bothers you—"

"No, no…" Jimin was getting stubborn.

"Fine. How about you?"

"Me?"

"You have a celebrity crush, don't you?" Jungkook went through a mental list of people he recalled Jimin answering with in interviews and random conversation—strangely, he had more vivid memories of Jimin and his preferences than his own. He expected Taeyang from Big Bang. Or the choreographer Brian Puspos. And didn't he say Rachel McAdams one time?

But instead, what came out of his mouth was, "Lee Taemin."

Jungkook's heart sank into his gut. He pulled back to stare at his boyfriend, bewildered. "What?"

Jimin looked confused by his reaction, his eyes wide and far too sweet for the irritation he currently caused him. Maybe he didn't really understand this 'game,' but regardless… "Lee… Taemin? You know—"

"Yeah, I know," Jungkook interrupted, his jaw tense. "Your friend. That doesn't count. Your friends don't count."

"Jungkook-ah, he was my celebrity crush before he was ever my friend."

"Babe, he doesn't count anymore. I'll never let you fuck Lee Taemin."

"Jungkook, I would never, ever—"

"Choose someone else."

Jimin felt his boyfriend's frustration and let out a little huff of breath through his nose. "You said this was for fun, Jungkook-ah."

"It's fun when the celebrity is unobtainable." Jungkook knew he was being petulant, but now he felt all sorts of insecure. "You're far too close to Lee Taemin."

Jimin reached over to glide his thumb over the tight, massive frown on Jungkook's face. "See, baby? Not such a fun thing to talk about."

"That's 'cause you ruined it."

"You know I'd never cheat on you. I mean, you do know that, right?"

Jungkook sighed, his eyes fluttering closed when Jimin moved his thumb over his cheek in a warm, tender caress. "I know."

"I'm sorry, Kookoo-ah." Jungkook felt Jimin wrap himself around him with affection. "I have a better answer, okay? How about Taeyang?"

"Big Bang?"

"Mm-hm."

Jungkook sighed in relief and reopened his eyes. His gaze instantly found Jimin's. His love, his life. The only person he wanted to wake up to forever.

Never Lee Taemin's. Ever. Not for a second.

"I'll allow it."

"SHINee's gonna be there," Jungkook told Seokjin in a deadpan. "SHINee. At Music Bank in Singapore."

"Yeah?" Seokjin stared at him warily. "What about them?"

"That means Lee Taemin's gonna be there."

"I mean, I don't see why he wouldn't? Don't tell me you're jealous of Taemin. Jimin is far too devoted to you to—"

"Still." Jungkook sat himself down on the edge of Seokjin's bed—right on top of the pile of clothes that the latter was just about to put into the open luggage next to him. "He's going to be there and he's… he's going to talk to my boyfriend."

"Oh, boy, talking," Seokjin remarked with a roll of his eyes. "With one of his best friends. Come on, Kook. You need to have more faith in Jimin than that. Trust him."

"Lee Taemin's not the one with these stupid rules from the staff. I don't even get to touch my own boyfriend during the show."

"You can't keep from being gross with him for half a day?" Seokjin asked, slapping Jungkook's thigh so he would get off his clothes. "You can save your nastiness for afterward."

Seokjin wasn't sympathetic at all, so Jungkook left his room. No one else—not even Jimin—seemed to be around, so Jungkook sulked back to his own room to take out his frustrations out on video games.

His mood didn't get too much better when the group finally got onto the plane the next day. Jimin did his best to cheer him up, but all Jungkook did in return was complain to him about Lee Taemin being there, super cool and talented and hot. Lee Taemin, Jimin's celebrity crush who he considered fucking.

"Jungkook-ah, c'mon. You know me and you know it's not like that…"

Jungkook pretended to ignore him and continued to glare daggers out the window. There wasn't anything fascinating about the stillness of the concrete, but he just felt too petty to entertain his boyfriend.

"Jungkook-ah…"

Why the hell did Jimin sound so playful? Was his predicament funny to him?

No, you idiot, logic berated him. Jimin loves you. He's trying to make you feel better.

So, Jungkook, being the gracious guy that he was, finally looked back over at his boyfriend.

"What, hyung?"

Jimin stopped to briefly furrow a brow at him. He had grown accustomed to Jungkook dropping the honorifics—they got close enough for Jimin to allow that, to expect that. He only used hyung for broadcast or when speaking to staff or people of authority.

"Nothing," Jimin said. "I just love you."

"Hmph."

Jimin grinned as he lifted the armrest between them. Then he leaned over to kiss Jungkook's massive pout. "I love only you, Kookoo-ah," he cooed.

Jungkook flushed at the nickname. It was somewhat embarrassing, although endearing, hearing it in public.

"You love everyone," Jungkook retorted.

Jimin remained undeterred by his mood, his body twisting slightly so they pressed against each other better as he kissed him again, sakura petal-soft at the corner of his lips. "But Kookoo-ah…"

Jungkook felt an insistent twinge in his heart. God, Jimin really did love him. But Jungkook was way more stubborn than Jimin could ever be.

"I bet you're looking forward to seeing Lee Taemin—"

Jimin slid his lips fully against his for a few seconds of pure, unadulterated bliss. The twinge expanded, blossoming into something sweet and spellbinding. Their kisses, even up to now, never lost their magic.

"Kookoo-ah," Jimin persisted softly. "Please."

Jungkook's insecurity melted with each reassuring kiss, each utterance of Kookoo.

There was no way he could resist Jimin, so of course the extra attention made him feel a lot better.

At least, for now.

Other than rehearsing with the group, performing with the group, and overall being unable to breathe because of the constant surrounding of the group, Jungkook barely saw Jimin. When they finally had time to sit down together, they were both too tired to hold a long conversation.

Jungkook was glad when the concerts were over and done with. Now all he had left was the ending stage with the rest of the idols who participated in the concert.

Including Lee Taemin.

Jungkook was lightning fast in spotting Jimin with him downstage, lost in animated conversation. Gossiping probably, but his mind liked to play tricks.

I hope Jimin tells him how great of a boyfriend I am, Jungkook thought with spite.

He moved on to where the rest of Bangtan stood near them, but he couldn't help a second look at Taemin. He hoped the guy felt the scorching hot stare melt his brain.

"Babe," Jungkook whispered as he passed behind Jimin. He said it extra pointedly, too. Damn right—Jimin was Jungkook's babe.

"I'll be there in a bit," Jimin responded without looking at him, much to Jungkook's dismay.

Lee Taemin himself tossed him no more than a glance, nodding politely before turning back to Jimin.

Jungkook briefly considered breaking the rules of don't push your affection in front of cameras, especially at major events like this and you're to indulge your fans, not your personal significant others to reel Jimin away, but he was better than that. Jimin expected him to be mature about it, so he was just going to trust him to join them later, like he should.

Jimin never made his way back to the group. He, Taemin, and the rest of SHINee seemed to have shifted away, even, and that irritated Jungkook.

He tried to think about other things—Bangtan's success, the extravagant dinner promised to them by staff after the concert. He even thought a lot about future hectic scheduling, but all he really did was glower at Taemin, hoping the words Jimin is Jeon Jungkook's reached his head somehow.

It wasn't until the mass of idols herded themselves offstage to the dressing room hallways did Jungkook manage to bump into Jimin. Imagine—bumping into his own boyfriend like they were mere, unattached acquaintances, like they hadn't seen each other in a while.

"Hey, sweetie," Jimin chirped, smiling brightly at him.

"Hi," Jungkook said, a little curt, and hooked his arm possessively around Jimin's neck.

Jimin laughed a little as he collided lightly into his side. He seemed a little concerned. "Are you okay, Jungkook-ah?"

"Now that you're finally here, yeah." Jungkook couldn't help the shade, but he always had trouble pretending in front of Jimin, who always caught on quick.

"I haven't seen Taeminnie-hyung in a while. Is my talking to him bothering you?"

"Well…" Jungkook had no right to be so jealous. They were friends. A damn stupid celebrity crush, but good friends. Jimin needed at least one of those outside the group. After all, Jungkook had his own.

With that in mind, he just sighed, loosening the territorial hold on him. "Sorry, baby."

"Don't worry about it." Jimin reached for the hand around him and sneaked a kiss onto it, mouthing Kookoo-ah against his skin. Jungkook liked to think the name became permanent there, a tattoo that told the world whose name it was, and who it belonged to.

But no more than a day later, the calm formed a storm.

Jungkook threw his phone across his room. It pathetically just missed the wall, its arc too low as it landed on the carpet.

He hated Lee Taemin.

Jimin called him a good friend, a funny hyung, but Jimin had Jungkook. His boyfriend of nearly two years should suffice as a good friend and more.

So, there was no reason for Jimin to have sneaked off with Taemin at some empty area backstage, for them to face each other so intimately as they talked. Jimin had been so casual when he told Jungkook about him after the concert—he and Taemin hadn't seen each other in so damn long and he missed him.

There shouldn't have been photographic evidence shot in a way that elicited suspicion and scandal. Now everyone on the internet was talking about them. Them, and not the subtle moments between himself and Jimin that he knew existed for everyone to ponder.

"Baby, why is your phone way over there?"

Speak of the devil.

"I threw it," Jungkook admitted in an annoyed voice.

Jimin tsked as he walked past him to retrieve it. "What are you mad about?"

"Nothing."

"Baby," Jimin warned lightly.

"You," Jungkook grumbled.

Jimin frowned and then glanced down at the phone—still showing the photograph.

"Jungkook," Jimin sighed. "We didn't do anything. These photos aren't what you think they are."

"Everyone ships you two."

"Ship? What are you talking about?"

"The fans think you two look adorable together. You. And Lee Taemin. As a couple."

"You shouldn't look at comments like those, baby." Jimin walked over to him. He had such a cute, irresistible pout up close, but Jungkook was still furious. "Don't fans do that sort of thing with everyone? About you and me, too?"

"Not as much as Park Jimin and Lee Taemin, who snuck off backstage by themselves. When did you even go, anyway?"

Jimin shrugged. "I probably went to the bathroom and bumped into him."

Jungkook scowled. "And you needed to let him drag you to some dark corner for a post-pee chat."

"The bathroom was right by there. It was convenient. Jungkook, you're best friends with Yugyeom. You'd probably do the same thing."

"No, I wouldn't!"

Jimin's form grew rigid at the rise in Jungkook's voice.

"I don't want to argue, Jungkook," he muttered after a moment's pause. "But I love you; I really do. Even if the fans think I'm dating someone else, you and I both know that my heart belongs to you."

Jungkook chewed the bottom of his lip. My heart belongs to you hit home, carving guilt into his heart with the sharpest of knives.

In his silence, Jimin stepped into his space and wrapped his arms around his waist. He held him tight, protective enough to make up for Jungkook's recent insecurities.

"Believe me, baby," Jimin continued, resting his cheek against Jungkook's as he murmured into his ear. "I know how it feels. Did you ever notice the amount of hate I get from certain fans when I supposedly get between you and Taehyung?"

Jungkook blinked with confusion as he folded his arms over Jimin's shoulders. "What does he have to do with you and me?"

"Exactly." Jimin sounded hurt. "They… would rather see you two together, even though I consider you the love of my life. They get heated over you and Tae having some sort of affair."

Jungkook never noticed. He pulled back to run gentle hands through Jimin's hair and cup his face. His boyfriend's eyes shined with tears from the unfortunate recollection. "Baby, I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?"

Jimin's smile was faint but genuine. "Because I know that you love me. And I know Taehyung's not like that. You're not like that. I don't worry a lot about it because of all of those things."

Jungkook tilted his head downward for a kiss on the lips.

He shouldn't worry, either.

"I'll reassure you as much as you want, if you need me to," Jimin told him. "I shouldn't have said Taemin's name in that conversation. I don't want you to think—"

"Jimin, it's fine. Let's just forget we ever talked about it." Partly because he still had his insecure moments from time to time, but mostly because Seokjin was right—he needed to trust Jimin. They've gotten this far together, almost two years now, and they were doing quite awesome.

"Honestly, you'd make a better celebrity crush," Jimin said cheekily.

"Oh, please," Jungkook laughed, pecking him on the nose. "And you call me cheesy. And what'd I say about unobtainable?"

Jimin didn't counter him. Instead, he kissed Jungkook; slow, steady, tranquil. The kiss formed holes in the memory of Lee Taemin the celebrity crush, eroding it to the nothing it should be.

Even if the photos stuck around on the internet, and even if the fans liked to think or postulate otherwise, Jimin, in reality, belonged to Jungkook, and only that mattered.

[ masterlist ]

[threesideddream]

That nigga literally left a harmless comment on your post and you go straight into turning up on him yet I'm sure literally tomorrow you are gonna be on here faking like you are a kind person talking about how much you like kids or some other shit like why y'all be on here acting like this? Y'all be the same internet assholes you complain about....

I don’t fake like I’m kind, I’m a kind person in a bad ass mood who made a statement about my personal feelings because of shit going on. I didn’t personally insult them, I said some facts about the state of American housing and I said they could keep their comments and, in addition, I even gave the reasoning why I was in a bad mood (which no one was entitled to) and said I didn’t need their comments because I knew I WOULD tell them off. now, if you don’t like that I cussed, that sounds personal. but being a kind person does not require me to ignore when I’m not in the mood to deal with others’ comments and play like I’m so happy to hear from them. if you have further issues with me, address them off anon, but this was not only unnecessary, but childish and, quite frankly, rude. you have a blessed night and leave me alone unless you have real shit to say.

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen’s Ramblings XIV: Allen’s Limits (Fanservice Edition)

Well, I just finished another go-over for my fanfic (which I’ll hopefully be updating tomorrow), so I’m in a writing mood today. Before I head home I think I’ll do a rambling real quick.

So I made a post here saying that I can’t watch the anime Valkyrie Drive Mermaid because it hits “my limit” in terms of fanservice and what I’m willing to tolerate, but I’ve never really discussed what my limits were in terms of fanservice.

Let me just be frank about my (trash) tastes real quick. I love and will defend Senran Kagura as a game with not only good gameplay, but a good story to my grave (unless we’re talking about the timeline/multiverse split, then this game deserves all the flack it gets on that end). I enjoy anime like Ikkitousen/Battle Vixens (the first season anyway), Wanna Be the Strongest in the World (though I will never recommend that to anyone. Ever.), Kill la Kill, Keijo, Koihime (wow, a lot of K’s there), and so on. I love playing games like Dead or Alive (I even buy the DLC sometimes), Rumble Roses, Onechanbara, Blazblue (its female designs are really fanservice-y, let’s be honest here), Nitro Busters, and I’m willing to try almost any MMO with cute female character designs for a bit. Needless to say, I like me some fanservice, or at least I can tolerate a hell of a lot of it. 

You will never hear me say “this anime/game is good if you can get over the fanservice” because I refuse to believe an anime or game should have a gap like that for people to over to enjoy it. Unless gap is a video game and it’s a skill-based gap, there shouldn’t be a one in the first place (that said Senran Kagura: Deep Crimson is actually kind of hard unless you grind a bit, so... fair warning). You might have noticed I say things like “if you can’t handle the fanservice that’s fine, but try to make it past episode 1 at least.” That’s because I feel you at least need a minimum amount of context before making a call on a show or game just being fanservice trash. Seeing a few gif sets or screen shots isn’t context, not to me anyway. With shows like Keijo and games like Senran Kagura, there’s a good anime and game there, and a lot of the judgement come from the premise and people just ignore the context. Many of the people that try the games out or watch the shows usually say something “yeah, this is a good game/anime, and it has potential, but the fanservice kills it for me.” That’s a 100% okay thing to say. I just get mad when people call it trash without even looking into it. To say Senran Kagura is a trash game that only panders to male audience is just... not only wrong, but shows ignorance to me. To say Keijo and Kill la Kill are fanservice-y shows that just attract a male audience just... kills my soul a little when I know for a fact that it’s got other things going for it than just the fanservice.

However, with all that said I still have my limits. There are shows and games that even I can’t get intodue to some of the content in it. I won’t say these games and shows are bad, but sometimes I will say I can’t finish, watch, or play them because the content in them turns me off, or at the very least I will advice people to skip certain parts because that’s how bad they turned me off. 

But anyway, let’s get on with what limits Allen has in terms of Fanservice:

Bare Breast Being Shown

Christ, this is the main reason I can’t get through Valkyrie Drive Mermaid. 

Look, I’m a guy. I’m a straight guy. I think I can comfortably say I like breasts. As an anime fan with trash taste I can say that, yes, I like anime tiddies. However, flashing bare breasts on the screen just... turns me off a little. Like, I get it, sometimes that’s just how the show is. Clothes and underwear come off, so it just makes sense, but I just... don’t enjoy. This is mostly because when I watch fanservice-y anime I’m watching the simulcast version where the boobs and nipples are censored in a way that it’s either in a way that’s comedic (like in Daimao), stylistic (like in Samurai Girls), or by editing shots (like in... most anime nowadays). So, when the blurays come out the anime tiddies are shown in full, uncensored view it feels more distracting than tantalizing. Like, you’ve already hooks me with the story, comedy, or action dude, why are you showing me the anime tiddies when I didn’t care for them three months ago? That’s just how I feel anyway, I think I’m the only one that thinks like this.

Sex Scenes

This is in the same vein as bare breast. I usually watch these fanservice-y shows for either it’s action, comedy, or actual plot (what little one exists anyway), so even if the sex scene makes sense in context, unless it’s playing some comedic gag like someone walking in on the characters and kills the mood or it’s an implied sex scene where the joke is that it’s some innocent I just... don’t want to watch it. A good video game example might be the sex mini game(s) in the God of War series. Yeah, they’re short and aren’t important to the game, but... I didn’t buy the game for that reason, that’s not the point of the game, and it feels like it was put in their for stupid reasons.

Taking the Plot Too Seriously/Flimsy Justification for Fanservice

This is the main reason I can’t get into Queen’s Blade, but some online friends have tempted me into giving it another shot. This is also the main reason I can’t recommend Ikkitousen past season 1. When shows and games try to make their plot out to be something more serious than it actually is it just... makes me wonder why. Like when I was talking about Keijo in my anime updates, it’s main draw was the ridiculousness and action, not the fanservice. If that show tried to play Nozumi’s poverty seriously and had her involved in Keijo out of desperation to make money I would had dropped it immediately.

To clarify, the manga made it clear that Nozumi knew she could make a killing as an Olympic Gymnast, but as a Keijo player she knew she’d have a bigger payout, longer career life, and (arguably) less risks to her body. Becoming a Keijo player was just systematically better for her and that’s why she did it. No more, no less. I would had stopped watching almost immediately if they had made Keijo out to be some vile sport forcing girls to battle for a wild crowd like an underground cock fight and Nozumi was desperate enough to quick being a gymnast to make money in that sport. 

Again, this is what killed my interest in Ikkitousen. I was watching that show to see cute girls punch each other with decent fight scenes and animations, not for some Three Kingdoms drama about defying fate. I’ll play Dynasty Warriors if I wanted that. 

Playing to a Fetish I Don’t Have/Care About

This one’s pretty simple, so I won’t get too ramble-y here. If the show or game’s trying to sell me on something I’m not into, I won’t care to play or watch it anymore. I’m not about to start spilling my virgin-ass sexual interests on the internet, so that’s all I’m gonna’ say on that.

Underage Sex Scenes/Underage Sexualization

No. No just. This is a bad thing and it’s why I can’t and won’t recommend Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya past the first season, and why I will recommend people read Negima at Omnibus Volume 3 instead of at the beginning. 

Now, when I say “underage sexualization” I mean “below high school age.” Why do I let high school get a free pass? Well, because I’m pretty sure a good majority of us lost our virginity in high school, and high schoolers having sex is a plot in nearly every live action high school drama ever, so... yeah. High School and sex is just a real life thing, so any complaining about it just seems hypocritical to me unless the sexy is stuff is about the point below. Anything under that high school age is just... no. 

Also, the show/game sexualizing things and the fandom sexualizing things are two completely different things to me. I don’t like it when fans do it either, but those are the fans getting horny at the wrong things, not the creators endorsing that behavior... unless they do, but that’s a whole other conversation.

Glorifying Rape/Brutality (Especially Against Minors)

Again, a thing that is just... no. However, this one’s a bit more... eh, complicated? 

For me, rape and brutality shown in media isn’t a turn off point. I mean, it is, but if I’m being super-hyper-mega-ultra-willing to, I can deal with it. That is, so long as the characters involve react in a realistic/believable way. Do people in the story justify the act? Do they rebuke the one who did it? Is that person punished in a way that is either karmic, or proper given the laws of the world of that story? Is that person called out on their behavior? 

Look, I’m not going to start defending rape and the like in media, I’m just saying if it’s done to make a point and not playing at some ultra-violent fetish then there’s some room for discussion. It still turns me off, it still hits my limit, but yeah.

So yeah, there are a few others for me, but those are the big ones. Anyway, that’s it for this rambling. Feel free to ask me stuff and whatnot. I’m heading home now and I’ll probably be taking a third look at my fanfic, so... yeah.

[eludiumofficial]

Rant #1: The brutal self-slaughter of my former favorite company and why I think comparing Electronic Arts to Bethesda Softworks is ignorant and irrational

Before I get started I’d like to make clear that my opinions presented here are subject to change, dependent on current events and my future beliefs. This post does in no way intend to manipulate the reader’s view on the situation or try and showcase my conviction as being the factual one regarding the topic, it only presents my personal reaction towards the statement featured in the title and should be treated as such.

I dislike rants. I dislike rambling in general, I find it to be a huge time-waster with little to no sense of rewarding. This is probably the first such post that I ever write, and I can’t say I’m quite pleased with my decision, but the subject at hand really provoked me. I feel that writing down my view on it, saving it someplace where I can see it later on in life (and remind myself of my past ways of thinking, as well as the reasoning behind them) is the best course of action. Regarding the second half of the title: I completely understand this is not a big deal, but making Electronic Arts look like the bad guy is something that I’ve seen mentioned for over a decade now in the gaming field, very few times being also backed up by solid arguments. I’m here to present it from my perspective.

Electronic Arts... a name as big in the industry as it is infamous. At least by common standards. Standards that (presumably) mostly come from reading the dumb, uninformed YouTube comment. Hell, I wouldn’t even be surprised if the vast majority of “experts” that comment defamatory remarks at EA's address have never touched any of the company's games. But how could they, right?! You need to pay, what, one hundred dollars for the Deluxe/Premium/Ultimate edition, which is in truth the actual content that assembles the main game... right?

Maybe.

This old company that the average customer loves to bash in ignorance is the same one who grants you complete access to full editions of over 75 of their titles, for €4 a month. It’s the same company who puts their game on sale for €10 one year after its release.. be lucky if you manage to score a €30 deal with other companies’ games in such a short time after launch (and in a sale). Not to mention, they actually have a working DRM *cough* Ubisoft *cough* and customer support.. *cough* Valve *cough*.

But enough about that. I'm not here to lick EA's boots, just pointing out how pathetic it looks to me when people keep complaining about this company 24/7 when there are much bigger culprits in the industry.

Culprits.. like Bethesda. Yeah. Something the old me would never believe he'd write. I wasn't just a fan of Bethesda Softworks. I loved Bethesda. I would read all the lore of their universes for hours on end, at school, at home, even before going to sleep. Hell, I didn't think The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim vanilla was a bad game at all to begin with, but when I discovered modding and found out that the Creation Kit, the godly tool that unlocked such a vast world (inside an already huge world), was brought to us by the developers, I went crazy for this team.

The introduction of paid mods.

Not only was it a global letdown when Valve + Bethesda announced paid mods on Steam back in 2015, it was unfortunately only the beginning of something much darker for BethSoft. Now, to be fair with you, I was willing to give them a second chance as customer after that absolute mess, more or less because I saw the partnership with Valve (a company that I stopped respecting since at least 4 years ago, for reasons that are now obvious worldwide) and I couldn't help but assume that they had the upper hand on here. It was downright difficult for a die-hard fan of Bethesda Studios to just drop all respect for them and accuse them at the fullest (or at least mostly) for the wrongdoing. Nonetheless they lost a big sense of meaning at that time, to me and many other fans as well.

When the "Special Edition" of Skyrim rolled out last fall I genuinely thought that was a bad joke. I went and read its system requirements, up to this day I cannot fathom how some improved shaders and lighting system along with some small improvements to textures require a NVIDIA GeForce GTX 780 as graphic processor. It's beyond insulting the way this company neglects any kind of optimization processes for their products.

One year later, here we are: Creation Club. What the actual hell, Bethesda? What the actual hell? Here’s the trailer, it should speak more than mere words can:

The best course of action here is to fight for what we stand for. Don't let Bethesda win this fight. They've lost it once already, but it seems they're coming back with a much, much greedier and more disgusting ploy.

Some more detailed information about this Creation Club mess, as I really do not have the mood to write more about it and ultimately ruin my state of mind:

Creation Club on Fallout Wikia

A very succinct description in video format, by Gopher:

It’sAGundam goes much less family-friendly into the topic, but his points are very valid:

An extremely flawed system explained by YongYea:

I don’t see how it could get worse than this... but I actually have a feeling it still will. At this point, Bethesda Softworks is not just an anti-consumer company, they're inarguably becoming a threat to the industry. They have the power to manipulate other companies' directions, they have the power to manipulate renowned modders into falling for their trap (as proved in the 2015 scandal). But I believe they don't have the power to treat us, customers, like some absolute fools, and to succeed in doing so. I believe we can take the fight to them. For a greedy company like this, where fan service means absolutely nothing today, money speak in totality. Bethesda does not deserve to be given further financial support. Not until they wake up and realize the damage they're creating.

If Bethesda really doesn't want to give up their unethical practices (and so far, it does indeed look like they're going to keep living in a dream), they have to be put down. The company that once held the crown for creating the best sandbox role-playing games, with unlimited modding possibilities, is now digging its own grave. But it won’t lay itself inside.

Nexus mods

Let's face it, Bethesda: you would never be where you are now — up there at the top, laughing in your customers' faces —  if it wasn't for your community. So many people still keep playing games that go as far back as The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, because of modding. As great as your games might initially be, in a vanilla state very few people would still play a 15 years old game on a regular basis. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is still up in the players' charts today thanks to the dedicated modders that spare hundreds of hours from their lives to expand the base game’s content. Not to mention the insane amount of bugs that every of your games has: you never fixed that, Bethesda. It was the community who did it for you. Free of charge.

I began this article by writing about Electronic Arts and never got around talking about its relevance to the topic. That’s simply because I wanted to make clear my thoughts about Bethesda Softworks first. You see, while searching up the community’s reaction to this whole scandal I couldn’t help but notice a couple dozen comments comparing the “new” Bethesda Studios to Electronic Arts. Mostly saying they've become just as bad.

I know, I know.. why do some meaningless comments matter to me? This post should be about Bethesda's fall from glory, not about this. And to be fair I did debate whether to write this in a separate post or not to write it at all. I understand it might not be a big deal, but it does really drive me nuts. I consider the society's uninformed opinions to be just as damaging as Bethesda's recent actions.

Because these uninformed opinions carry on. They influence people. They influence companies' rate of success. Paid mods were taken down in 2015, a few days after their launch, for the fact that the community made its voice heard. All the comments raging at Valve and Bethesda's poor attempt could be translated into a substantial financiar loss for the companies.

With the Electronic Arts case, things are slightly different: we aren't talking about a mass of hateful comments bashing at the team in just a few days' time, we are talking about the worldwide consensus that EA is a "bad" company. This consensus has been spread out in a wide variety of ways, mainly through chats, comments, forums talks etc. and in a very high amount of time (basically since at least ten years ago). It was initially based on the fact (among other things) that you often had to pay for the game's "Premium" edition in order to receive content that was classified by the standard gamer as mandatory for the base game. Later on the consensus was adopted by.. just about a lot of people on the Internet. And that's how it went viral, it basically became a "meme", so to say. Bad things happen in the gaming world, the community instantly associates it with EA. This is not only morally wrong, but it does affect the company as well, for reasons that should be obvious.

"So what? Let them suffer, it's not fair having to pay €100 for a game in order to get the full edition." While I agree that most of the DLCs for EA's games are somewhat mandatory (especially if you're planning to play online), one should not forget the points that I made in the initial paragraphs of this post. If money is indeed such a big issue, wait for a sale. Their games' prices drop by a lot even during the first year. At least you have the assurance of quality control. You pay for a game that... you know, actually works, it's not riddled with bugs.

"How does that still relate to Bethesda?" When people compare these two studios they do it just because they're trying to put Bethesda to shame, really. Most of the time they don't even think twice before hitting the "Send" button: "Just stick EA's name in the comment so everyone can understand I'm only trying to make Bethesda look bad. I might have actually never played an Electronic Arts game, I sure as hell have never read any documentation on them, but hey, they're a meme, everyone refers to them as the bad guy so it has to be true." Their comment/message might literally not try and say anything disparaging about EA, they probably just want to put the focus on Bethesda, but the fact that they're using the brand name as a means to make something else look bad is absolutely ignorant. You are comparing every single damaging event in the industry to one company's marketing unpopular opinion, how crazy is that?

Electronic Arts has made its fair share of mistakes in its time (I agree, buying smaller, good companies and later firing their staff is not cool at all; releasing a new edition of Most Wanted is still supposed to be a Most Wanted game, not a Burnout game), but comparing it to a company that tries and monetize a feature that has been globally free since 1980 (Castle Smurfenstein) is downright insulting. If according to the society EA  is “bad”, then Bethesda must be the devil itself. Unfortunately people will continue to bash at Electronic Arts without backing up any of the criticism with straight facts and/or proof.

The point of this section is not to make EA seem like the victim and Bethesda like the villain. It merely summarizes that if you’re trying to show your feeling of antipathy towards Bethesda Studios through a comparison with another company, then you should pick a suitable candidate. Don’t just rush at placing Electronic Arts' name in your post because you know that will draw attention and favoritism from fellow poor-informed members. It’s a shame that out of all the gaming companies out there, some with much higher rates of greediness, the community has crowned EA as the “greater evil”.

Times have changed, people. Maybe a few years ago the main problem in the gaming industry was indeed the high pricing and the necessity of purchasing a Premium pack in order to enjoy what the whole game has to offer, but if you think that’s still the main issue nowadays then I am afraid you are living in the past. Welcome to 2017, where we are greeted with microtransactions in singleplayer-exclusive titles, card games over card games with little to no difference between each other (except the company your money for in-game items will go to) and an actual increase in the game’s price during the sale, just so it can be “discounted” to very, very little below the normal price (yeah, I know that happened in 2015, but I trust you catch my drift as to what’s happening in the “new world”). While these things are happening and the industry is falling apart, people are still busy complaining about a company that gives you a full-fledged product for a higher sum of money than the “standard” one. And then offers it to you on sale during the next 12 months.

Bethesda has reached an all-time new low and no other company comes to mind that is as brain-dead, heartless and greedy as them, but if you really have to use a comparison to prove your point, for the love of God step up your game and stop mentioning Electronic Arts. There is Valve out there who keeps milking the same damn three games for years now instead of producing anything original, they have a barely functional DRM, their customer support is safe to be assumed AWOL at this point in time and now they’re releasing a card game to further milk money away from players. Take-Two Interactive literally tried to definitively shut down modding for Grand Theft Auto V. There you have Activision shooting themselves in the foot with the Call of Duty franchise, releasing pretty much the same game year after year, also charging the same amount of money for the Deluxe version as EA would for a game that is actually original.

But Electronic Arts is still “the worst company”. Ok.

To sum this up (because it’s getting late, I want a cup of hot chocolate and to play some good old Dragon Age):

Maybe EA is bad. Maybe it isn’t. But it’s certainly not the culprit of the industry anymore, considering all the petty/greedy attempts of other companies in recent years. To compare it to Bethesda, however, is a whole other story. It’s insulting. Bethesda Softworks is not just greedy, they have become a threat.

Bethesda Studios is the kind of wounded owner who kicks his own faithful dog with a club after it comes and licks its master’s wounds. That kick is painful and performed with a Creation Club.

I ran out of hot chocolate sachets.

[mintyicee]

Warning: skip this post if want

It’s a rant...and i absolutely hate you tumblr app bc i had to redue this twice now! >:(

Anyway, I’m used to being ignored. Everyone around me since i was little to being a young adult now has left me to own thoughts and corner in my home since forever. Though i am partially to blame being an introvert and an absolutely horrible friend in keeping contact with friends online, I mostly do so if i feel no one wants to hear, see, speak, or look at me. I will personally disappear and hide myself bc i feel it will make others happy if i wasnt around. As if i didn’t exist. True, not everyone in your life will be around forever and true, being oneself is your greatest friend. But, as shy or quiet as i am, I love being around other ppl. I dont want to be around ppl 24/7 but i do want to connect with ppl i feel can appreciate me at my fullest and without feeling like im weird or the odd ball that doesnt belong.

With that being said, I may be USED to it but i ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. As any human being would of coarse and a lot of ppl have it worse dont get me wrong. Making this rant already makes me feel selfish and in need of pity which isnt why im writing this. Simply put i want to push this anger out of me and get it out of my system bc i feel i cant move forward until i do so. And when it comes to my problems i suck at communicating it to others bc i feel they have much more important things to be doing then to babysit someone who is feeling down (but id drop everything to listen to others sadness bc i care way too much). 

I hate feeling like i did back when i lived in my hometown. Very lonely and sad. Constantly crying. I wouldn’t do anything all summer but cry in my room bc of how alone i felt. And i gave a very important part of me away just to make sure i had at least one person hanging around. I regret it very much but my efforts to hang out with the friends i saw at school outside of school would be very close to zero. Everyone is either busy or just low key didnt want to hang out with me. Tho i was lucky to have at least one friend I would see more in certain grades, it wasnt constant. And once all the drama with my nuclear family subsided, i was much more alone in the house than before middle school. 

I didnt have a cellphone or home phone, no internet either till i moved and started high school. The things that kept me going usually was my writing, music, and cartoons. Seriously being serious here. The way Id touch base with any of my school friends was to walk to their house and be lucky if they had time or were home. When i moved i had so much hope that Id find ppl to share and spend time with. Not only that but i was in the real world and no longer stuck in a house like a prisoner or place for that matter. But like stupid ppl or racists, the same ppl pop up everywhere as well as the loneliness i was hoping to leave behind. Only it came in a new form: even when im around others. I am/was happier here tho. No longer confined in my hometown house. But recently it feels like i am. This summer has been my loneliest since the move and the feeling like no one cares about me at all have all come back at my lowest and most crucial decision making time of my life. Not being in school this semester/school year is hitting me hard and no job call backs for a whole month now either. 

Partially my fault tho. The new friend crew ive been spending time with have been ignoring anything i said in the group chat. Id be skipped over and lately it feels as if im just upsetting certain ppl and end up talking about me behind my back. Really nothing new but I’ve just had enough of it. Like always I distanced myself and stopped talking all together. I’ve been more political upset in recent days due to certain issues on twitter but I’ve only been talking to my boyfriend and my mother. In hindsight tho, they really are my best friends. They are here for me at my highest and lowest no matter how many times i cry or how suddenly i get upset or frustrated. They are the ones to accept me for who i am. No one else has done this to the extent as they have and really thats all i need. Even if i dont get any other long term friends i dont care bc i know they will be by my side till the end. 

But I also want to say that if you didnt want to be my friend in the first place or you wanted me to initiate the conversation first then u should at least comment back at what im saying. If i said something dumb or something that didnt add to the convo then tell me dont just ignore me like im stupid. I refuse to be your “friend” that you only want around to be made fun of. I’ve been through a lot and yes ik u have your share of problems but if your going to only look at yourself and care about yourself then i dont need you. Im good without having that in my life. Ive had my fill of people who act like that to me. And im also tired of people who dont care about others and present issues. I CRY ABOUT PPL I DONT KNOW THAT ARE ON THE NEWS WHETHER NAMED OR NOT. HELL I CRY EVEN IF THEY ARENT ON THE NEWS! There are soooo many ppl who have it way worse than myself who suffer daily and im sick of hearing ppl dont care about the ppl and situations around them! I wont sit here making an excuse as to why i cant help its the same old issues no money (no job as mentioned above) hell even no car but that doesnt matter. I still pray! I pray for safety of others and i pray that ppl will be alright and i pray that things will get better! And also mentioned earlier, ive been reposting about current issues on twitter! This is small but i want to try!

So please if you had no intentions of sticking around me at any of my current moods, dont appreciate the person i am, or relatively dont give a fuck then dont involve yourself in my life. Yes it hurts to be alone but Id rather have that and be alone then FEEL ALONE WITH PPL IVE COME TO CARE FOR! Also, if I have helped you through thick n thin and you think u can pop into my life whenever you feel like it only to stop talking to me or purposely upset me and even threaten me? GTFO of my life and dont come back! Ever (yes this is about a certain friend who moved away and i helped not commit suicide that im holding a grudge at)!  And if you honestly are going to get upset at the actions ive done and say you do good things when you have zero sign of love for others in your hearts, live in a bubble of your own world, and follow the bible “word for word” get out of my face too bc i dont need ppl who say they are here to help others only to shun me if i dont constantly keep verses in my head or do things the way you want them to be and to have me fight my own demons while going against your beliefs and saying that im not doing what im supposed to (yes this is about church)! I DO THINGS AND CARE WAY MORE THAN YOU DO TRUST ME AND THIS IS THE ONLY TIME IM EVER GOING TO SELFISHLY SAY SO BC ITS BETTER TO BE HUMBLE AND NOT ARROGANT. I TRY SO HARD NOT TO JUDGE YOU YET YOU GET TO JUDGE ME? NO I DONT THINK SO YOU SHOULD START AT LEVEL ONE AGAIN AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! (still about church not friends here). Also dont worry about the level one thing; you would know what this means if you went to the same church. 

I’ve been couping with the idea that all i need is two friends. I’m so grateful and blessed to have them in my life and if im truly meant to have more than it will be so. I know two others of whom i need to apologize for hardly emailing or sending a message to. I feel so bad i have neglected them only bc ive been feeling so down about this and other issues (like before: school, no job/car, possibly changing career and life goals, etc) but really is no excuse. Welp I’ve said all i wanted to say for the moment. There is another topic i wish to vent about but it will have to be for another day bc i have no energy to complain about that topic. If anyone read all this im sorry i took time out of your day and that I hope you are doing well. I hope you continue to live your life to the fullest and to celebrate the good things not the bad that comes along. I just really needed to vent these emotions so i can finally concentrate on what i need to do. Thank you for listening <3