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tuanhood · 4 years ago

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hypnotic | part one

paring: vampire!im jaebeom x reader

genre: angst, eventual smut (part two), vampire au

warnings: language, cringey vampire cliches i’m sure

word count: 9,800+

summary: jaebeom has been waiting 200 years to find his mate - the one who can break his trance and isn’t affected by his hypnotic abilities. You don’t seem to be that person, but he just can’t seem to get you out of his mind… why?

a/n: hello guys! so i originally had this planned to post tomorrow (the 30th) but it was so long i decided to split it up and post one part today and the other part on the 31st! This first part is mostly Jaebeom and not a lot of Y/N but SO BE IT. This is also my first time writing in the genre of vampire/fantasy loL so please forgive me because it’ll probably be cringe and not make sense. if that’s the case lol drop me a message!! also vampire jaebeom was requested FOREVER ago. so here it is practically 3 decades later. and i attempted to make a banner. if someone can make me a better one it’s v much WELCOME.

part two

Knock Knock Knock

He wished he could just pretend like he was asleep. He wished he could use that as an excuse to not answer the door, but based on the very strong feeling he was getting from who was behind it – that wouldn’t work.

“I know you’re in there! Just answer the damn door Jaebeom!”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes, leave it to Bambam to be at his front door before the day even had a chance to truly begin. Before letting him in, he went through all the possible things or excuses he could use to get out of whatever his younger friend had in mind.

“Is your vintage YSL here or is it still at the dry cleaners?” Bambam asked, pushing past Jaebeom as soon as he has the door partway open.

Gruffly, Jaebeom turned back into his apartment to Bambam already halfway to his bedroom – no doubt to look through his closet, “What are you doing here Bam?”

“What does it look like? I’m here for the vintage YSL asshole!”

He’s learned by now that it’s better to let him do his thing – whatever that may mean. So instead of following Bambam, he plopped down onto the same couch he’s had for nearly 15 years. “You know when I first bought that shirt it wasn’t considered vintage!”

Jaebeom waited for a response, but instead, he was met with silence. After a few moments – many of them thinking about how maybe it was time to replace the couch – he felt his “vintage” YSL button-down hit him in the face.

He groaned; the impact was surely going to create wrinkles in the material he tried to keep in pristine condition. It was ironic since he was often heard making fun of how much Bambam cared about clothes, but Jaebeom liked to keep his things nice. “Bam I just got it back from getting cleaned a couple of days ago.”

“Put it on.”

The tone of his friend’s voice seemed rather impatient. If he had closed his eyes, Jaebeom would have thought he was talking to Jinyoung or even himself.

“Why do I need to put it on? It’s 8 in the morning; where are we going?”

“Um excuse me? Did you forget what day it was? Now come on, we’re meeting Jinyoung at that new café down the street in fifteen.”

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, trying to picture the café on the mental map he keeps in his mind, “the one that used to be a video store in the 90s?”

Bambam made his way into the living room, picking up a few glasses that rested on the coffee table Jaebeom’s feet were on top of, and marched over to the small kitchen. Jaebeom has lived in this apartment more years than he’d like to admit, especially because enough time had passed that the neighbors he had were clearly aging and he just stayed 26. The thought of moving somewhere new often enters his mind, but with this place, he just can’t bring it in himself to go quite yet. It’s almost as though something is tying him to this city, this place – like he’s waiting for something.

“Yes, and a speakeasy in the 20s both of which are not important right now because we live in the 21st century Jaebeom. Now come on, Jinyoung’s waiting – that asshole is always early.”

He heard Bambam mumble something along the lines of known him 100 years, would it kill him to just be on time for once, as he furiously dropped the glasses on the kitchen counter.

“Do I have to go?”

Bambam paused his motions of putting Jaebeom’s dirty dishes into the sink to stare the older vampire down, “Jaebeom you only turn 200 once.”

He scoffed in response, “Jesus don’t remind me.”

“We have to make a whole day of it! So please just put the shirt on, because I want you looking presentable,” he stopped in the middle of his sentence, suddenly wiggling his eyebrows, “you never know what could happen.” The final word is drawn out, almost sing-song like and it drives Jaebeom up the wall because he knows exactly what Bambam is referencing.

For Jaebeom and those like Jaebeom, they didn’t consider the day they were born as their birthday, but instead as the day they turned. There was no point in celebrating their birth anymore as they were no longer alive. However, at this point after 200 birthdays, – alive and dead combined - Jaebeom was beginning to believe that there was no point to those either. He always knew being immortal was a curse but day by day that idea was only solidifying itself in his mind.

Jaebeom let out a gruff breath which only made Bambam look up from the fork he was scrubbing, “Bam I don’t know what you think is going to happen today… but it certainly isn’t that.”

The “that” he was referencing was one of the main factors that as of late had made him feel like living forever was indeed a waste. It was the thing that was supposed to make him feel “complete.” According to old texts and traditional vampire folklore, he was now walking around half full, but once he met his mate, he would become whole. At first, he didn’t believe the tale. He had gotten by so far without a mate that the idea of him not being complete made him laugh. But watching both Bambam and Jinyoung find their mates – Bambam 70 years ago and Jinyoung 16 years ago – made him finally acknowledge and reflect on the piece of himself he was missing.

And fuck he was lonely.

Bambam chuckled at him as if being in on his own personal joke. His friend was strange like that sometimes, “just put the shirt on Jaebeom.”

By the time he’s had the shirt on and Bambam has somehow convinced him to let him wear his Rolex he got as a gift from his friend Jackson in 1920, Jaebeom feels mentally prepared to leave the house and embark on this dreadful day. The reminder that he has now been around for 200 years and still is not whole.

“Finally,” Jinyoung sighed when Jaebeom and Bambam finally reached the café down the street, “I’ve been waiting 20 minutes.”

A disgruntled Bambam checks his watch, “well if you don’t want to wait every single time, don’t be so fucking early,” he promptly turned to Jaebeom to share his grief regarding their friend, “you think he would learn after all this time.”

“Let’s just go order,” Jaebeom shrugged, not caring to be in another disagreement between his longer than life friends.

“Be honest you’re early on purpose just so it gives you something to complain about and a reason to make us feel bad!”

Jinyoung ignored Bambam’s theory, replying to the oldest, “no need. I already ordered for the three of us. It’s a special day, the birthday boy doesn’t need to pay,” he glanced at Bambam, “you on the other hand…”

The two new arrivals, flop down into the sofa chairs on either side of Jinyoung, along of them situated to make a half-circle in front of a low coffee table. The three of them had somehow stuck into this… pattern. Years of friendship that contained years of Bambam/Jinyoung squabbles that Jaebeom would often have to mediate. Patterns were nice, but sometimes they would get old – especially after so long.

As the two of them argue over whether or not Bambam should pay Jinyoung back for a simple iced Americano because Bam swears he got the drinks the last two times, Jaebeom looks over to the counter where the baristas work on – no doubt – the plethora of orders they have. The factor of the café being new has certainly been the cause of the popularity and amount of people in the shop. He can’t help but feel bad for the individuals working on the drinks – three years ago he had been one of them for roughly 18 months and knew that it wasn’t as easy as it appeared to be.

In retrospect, Jaebeom didn’t have to work. He had so much time to learn and understand what it meant to be financially responsible. Not only that, but he’s literally had hundreds of years to save. Plus, his early investments in companies ended up landing him some pretty substantial and valuable shares. Jaebeom was sitting on quite the pretty penny.

“Wow your portfolio is remarkable… I’ve never seen one like it,” his latest financial advisor had said to him in complete awe, “I mean an early investor in Amazon? Apple? Mastercard?”

Jaebeom had laughed nervously, “What can I say? My grandpa had good intuition, I guess.”

Money aside, he had wanted something to do with his time – hence his barista job. It was fun, but like most things, Jaebeom just grew tired of it and as he watched the girl working the espresso machine let out an exhausted breath, he realized that he wasn’t missing it.

Jaebeom has become good at studying people. It was something he still wasn’t sure of whether it was a vampire thing or just something he had picked up over time. Watching the girl at the machine, her hair is in a low bun, a few strands falling in front of her face. It’s clear with the way the hair tie is situated, that the hairstyle was once a bit neater, tighter, and sat at the middle or even top of her head. However, the now fallen placement and slight disarray signal how busy she’s been working and how fried she must be feeling.

He looks to the string bracelet on her wrist, visible from far away enough for Jaebeom to conclude that she must have someone in her life deemed important to wear one of those “friendship” bracelets. He never saw the point, but humans were strange creatures, despite him once being one.

Jaebeom’s breath hitches when he catches sight of the delicately drawn tattoo on her wrist near the bracelet. It’s of lavender and it immediately reminds him of his mother who had loved exploring the lavender field that had been near his home when he was a child. Despite all the time that has passed since he lost his mother, the pain that aches inside of Jaebeom when he thinks of her isn’t any less.

His thoughts are interrupted by the call at the coffee bar, “Order for Jinyoung.”

The call comes from the overworked girl he had been studying and Jaebeom wants more than anything to stand up and retrieve their orders. He finds a weird want to hear what her laugh sounds like. Maybe he could say something or strike up a conversation that would-

“What are you doing?” It takes Jaebeom a moment to notice that he has partially stood up from his chair as if he’s about to go somewhere. Cluelessly, he replied, “going to get the drinks.”

The youngest shook his head, “No way! Birthday boys don’t get their drinks, they don’t lift a finger.”

He knew Bambam was one to take birthdays seriously, but this was beginning to feel like it was going the extra mile too many.

“I’ll get it.”

Jaebeom watched Bambam get up to retrieve the drinks. He expects him to just grab the drinks and return to the table, but instead, Bambam says something to the girl. Arching his neck to the side, he tries to make a clear path to eavesdrop on what’s being said, hearing being one of the benefits of turning. Unfortunately, the café is too loud for him to focus on the conversation and he’s defeated by the fact that he’ll have to stay in the dark.

The girl laughs loudly at something Bambam said and Jaebeom can’t help but feel mixed about it. On one hand, he got his wish – hearing her laugh – but on the other hand, he wasn’t the cause of it. For some reason it makes him bring his clench and unclench his fists which rest on the arms of the sofa chair. Jinyoung takes notice.

Jaebeom quickly looks down at his lap when he senses that Bambam is returning to where they’re sat, not wanting to give away that he had been staring. First, he places Jinyoung’s and his drink on the table, soon turning back around to go back and fetch the last drink – Jaebeom’s.

When he comes back, Jaebeom looks up to see a large grin spread across the youngest’s face. He has that look again – the one as if he knows a joke Jaebeom doesn’t.

The latter nodded his head in thanks for getting the drinks as he inspects his green tea on the table. Just as he’s about to pick up the mug, he’s stopped in his tracks by an announcement coming from the coffee bar.

“Hello everyone! Sorry for the interruption, but I’ve been told that we have a birthday here today,” you said. Giving announcements wasn’t your strong suit, but you figured now that you were an actual owner of something, you were going to get over your shyness. But you didn’t think it was going to be that often that a tall, skinny and pale boy with a Rolex on his wrist would be asking you to get your coffee shop to sing happy birthday for his friend. Even when you were a barista working for someone else no one had made such a request. This was a café after all, not an Applebee’s.

Jaebeom wished more than anything that he could sink into his seat and just disappear. If only that cliché that vampires turned into bats were true, then he could just fly away at a moment’s notice. Leave it to Bambam to torture him like this. It wasn’t intentional of course, but it certainly felt like it to Jaebeom.

It was especially tragic to him because the girl he had been studying was the one leading the entire café in singing “Happy Birthday.” He did his best to avoid looking at her, feeling like his entire body was heating up in embarrassment even though he couldn't heat up.

You on the other hand felt a little insulted by the birthday boy’s lack of eye contact. You hadn’t even managed to get a good look at him before you started singing and now it was not possible with the way that he was looking down at the ground, his long hair falling in front of his face, concealing itself to you. It wasn’t difficult to conclude that he felt awkward about a bunch of strangers he had never met singing him happy birthday, you had felt the same whenever your friends tried to ambush you on your birthday… but you at least looked up and acknowledged the presence of the people singing. A tight smile from this guy would even be happily accepted.

When the song is over and the claps that follow finally subside, he looks up to see the café back at its previous state of normalcy, not a single person looking at him anymore. Jaebeom lets out a sigh of relief.

“You could at least act like you liked it,” Bambam huffed in annoyance. He wished Jaebeom could appreciate the idea of birthdays like he did.

“I really didn’t need to be the center of attention today Bam.”

“But it’s your bir-” Bambam begins to explain, but Jaebeom abruptly cuts him off, not wanting to hear his reasoning for today’s antics, yet again. The day hadn’t even started.

“My birthday, I know. Thanks for reminding me.”

Jinyoung clears his throat and plays with the spoon that came with his Flat White. Just as Jaebeom is the mediator for Bambam and Jinyoung, sometimes Jinyoung has to be the mediator for Jaebeom and Bambam. Essentially the commonality in the disagreements of their trio friendship is Bambam and currently, Jinyoung feels as though he should route the conversation elsewhere.

“What else is in the cards for tonight then boys?”

It’s then based on the look on Jaebeom’s face, that Jinyoung thinks that maybe talking about the plans for tonight – on Jaebeom’s birthday – isn’t re-routing the conversation. Especially since it’s Bambam’s whose eyes light up and is the one to reply to him.

“Obviously we’re going out tonight,” Bambam paused and turned to Jaebeom, wagging his finger in the latter’s face, “there’s no way you’re getting out of this. I’m not taking no for an answer this time.”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes and didn’t respond as he knew he didn’t have a choice in the matter. He had rejected Bambam’s invitations to go out consistently for the last 6 months and on his birthday of all days, Bam was going to force him out of the house just as he had done this morning to come to the café.

He looks back to the front counter, his eyes searching for the barista who has now suddenly disappeared. A frown begins to make itself known on his face, feeling a bit disappointed by the fact that she may have left already or gone elsewhere, but soon she’s popping up from behind the counter, no doubt getting something from the cabinets below. Jaebeom feels relief.

“What did you say to her?” he asked suddenly looking back at Bambam.

He cocked his head to the side, confused, “What did I say to who?”

“The barista behind the counter.”

His friend nodded his head slowly, suddenly realizing what Jaebeom means. A smirk appears on his face, “nothing much… Just how it was your birthday and it would be really good if we could all embarrass you by singing about it. She’s not a barista, by the way, she owns the place. Kinda backward thinking there Jae. It’s the 21st century, women can own things now, they can vote.”

“I know that,” Jaebeom hissed.

Bambam puts up his hands in defeat, “I’m just making sure.”

“Don’t you know her?” Jinyoung asked, “isn’t that why we came here?”

Jaebeom’s interests are perked. It’s not often that the three of them meet new people. It’s not like there’s a huge point to it. The last new person the three of them met was Mark – also a vampire – a bartender at their favorite club in the city, but that was in 2007.

He waits for Bambam’s explanation as to how he knows this girl and why they came here specifically beside it just being near Jaebeom’s apartment.

Waving his hand nonchalantly, the Thai boy gives his answer, “I don’t really know her. Minji does. Met her in some kind of class, I think. SoulCycle? Pilates? Zumba? I don’t know. I can’t keep up with her and her activities these days.”

Minji is Bambam’s mate. He had turned her only a month after they met.

Jaebeom’s not sure what he would do if he met his mate. He doesn’t know if he would want to subject them to turning and living the same kind of life as him, but he also doesn’t know if he could continue life alone after meeting his mate. If he ever meets them.

“Why the curiosity?” Jinyoung asked, for once finding it hard to remain stone-faced. Even his usual chill, non-revealing demeanor seems to fade away when it appears that his older friend might be attracted to someone.

Jaebeom simply shrugged, “it’s nothing…”

“What do you think? Could she be the one?” Bambam asked teasingly, pointing to the girl behind the counter.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes almost immediately at the younger boy, “if you’re going to keep bothering him about it, don’t make it so obvious idiot.”

Jaebeom had been alive – or more like undead – for 200 years and more than half of that time he had to listen to this same conversation from his friends over and over again. His patience was wearing thin and 180 years later, he was tired of their pestering.

He leaned forward slowly and grabbed his green tea off the table, making sure to visibly flinch at the heat of the drink, Bambam, and Jinyoung chuckling at his reaction. Out of the three of them, Jaebeom certainly had the most practice when it came to “putting on a show” for the humans and “acting” the most human. Taking a sip, he looked back at the girl behind the counter.

The youngest vampire had spent many of their outings and conversations hypothesizing who Jaebeom’s mate could be. Despite being the oldest of the three, Jaebeom was the only one left who still hadn’t found his mate and he was beginning to feel hopeless. Typically, Bambam pointed out any human girl as a candidate – all of them of course ended up not being his mate. Therefore, Jaebeom didn’t pay attention to his picks anymore, but he had to admit… He did get a strange feeling from the girl behind the counter.

Jaebeom looked to you, hoping to catch your gaze as you quickly made the coffee orders for the few people waiting to the side of the cash register. Just when he was about to give up and focus his attention back on his friends, you tore your concentration away from the drink in your hand and looked up at him from across the cafe.

Jaebeom focused his gaze deep onto you with his eyes – testing, checking, and trialing your focus. You didn’t look away, instead, you trained your eyes deeply into his and stared at him until finally, it was Jaebeom who broke the contact.

He shook his head at his friends, disappointed by your inability to break the trance and ultimately confused at the feeling he still got from you despite that.

Jaebeom took another sip of the tea, “it’s not her.”

“Did you have to debate that Uber driver on the Twilight franchise?” Jinyoung groaned at Bambam as soon as they’re out of the car.

The entire twenty-minute ride, he had got into a heated discussion with their driver on how Twilight was not “true” or realistic to most actual vampire folklore. It had been an excruciating thing to listen to.

“Got to stand up for our kind dude.”

“Okay, but what happens when she starts asking how you know all these things or why you’re so interested in vampire stuff?” Jinyoung tended to always be right. This wasn’t an exception.

Brushing off his pants, Bambam gives him a nonchalant wave, “chill out man. Everyone loves vampire stuff.”

“Maybe in 2008,” Jaebeom said just barely loud enough for his friends to hear them. The two of them laughed, Bambam shoving him playfully on the shoulder, “Birthday boy getting funny on us.”

“I was always funny,” Jaebeom deadpanned.

“Funny and looking good tonight. Let’s get you laid, shall we?”

After a day that was jampacked full of various activities planned by his youngest friend, the last thing Jaebeom wanted to do was spend extra energy on trying to get some girl to come home with him tonight. Besides, he wasn’t that guy anymore.

Jinyoung scoffed, “he doesn’t need to get laid tonight.”

“Yes, he does! Jaebeom how long has it been?”

This time it’s Jinyoung that shoves Bambam’s shoulder – except it’s not all that playful.

“Fine don’t answer that, but I’m just saying there will be quite a few girls here that you can have your pick of, despite your plain outfit.”

Jaebeom looked at the clothes he had changed into when Bambam spared him a sliver of time to go back home to digress and feed his cats. The latter had wanted him to borrow clothes of his, but instead, Jaebeom decided on pulling pieces from his closet that felt more like him, less like Bambam. A plain pair of ripped jeans, an oversized black shirt that he had bought at a shop from his trip to London last year, and his mother’s necklace that often wasn’t missing from its spot around his neck.

Bambam’s earlier critique was that he was dressed too basic and that no girls would bat an eye at him. Girls don’t like plain guys, he had said. The comment makes Jaebeom wonder about you and whether you’d fall under the category of not liking “plain” guys.

He bites the inside of his cheek. It was probably the eighth time he had made himself do it today. Jaebeom had found his mind often drifting to you throughout the day for some unexplainable reason. During their walk in the park, he wondered if you would take strolls during your breaks from the café or when Bambam forced him to go paint pottery for an hour and a half he thought about what you would paint. It frustrated him because he hadn’t even spoken to you – not a word and yet you were clearly on his mind for one reason or another. It wasn’t even like you were his mate. He had tried to see if you were unaffected by his trance, his hypnotic capabilities, but you had just stared at him completely fixated just as everyone else was.

Jaebeom was not going to think about you any longer. He was already planning on avoiding your café.

“We’re on the list,” Bambam tells the bouncer when they arrive at the entrance of the club. He scans the list and motions his head towards the direction of the door to signal to the three of them to go on ahead. There’s a bit of a whine coming from the people waiting in line which admittedly so makes Jaebeom feel a little guilty, but Bambam ensures him it’s fine, “why have a friend who works at a club if we can’t use him for the perks?”

“Why does he keep bartending again?” As soon as the question is out of Jaebeom’s mouth he realizes it was a stupid thing to ask since the answer is apparent.

Bambam laughed at him, giving his long – irreplaceable he’d like to remind everyone – leather coat to the person at the front of the club. Jaebeom swears he hears him tell the coat check guy the “proper” way to put it on a hanger.

“Obviously for the girls Jaebeom.”

Mark’s mate – Hana had passed on a long time ago. Jaebeom had never got the chance to meet her, only hears about her in passing from some stories that Mark has told the three of them. He hadn’t turned her. Jaebeom’s never asked why.

“Girls… of course.”

He can’t help but think about how Mark must feel inside. Although Jaebeom doesn’t know him as well as he knows Bambam and Jinyoung, whenever he’s with the older boy he’s always got a smile on his face. Often quiet, but he’s always got certain energy bouncing off of him that would indeed make him popular with women. However, if what they say about mates is true, would that mean that a piece of Mark was now missing? Did he feel like he was less of a person? Jaebeom felt like that sometimes and he hadn’t even met his mate yet. Mark had his, but now he didn’t.

“Drinks?” Jinyoung asked the two of them and Jaebeom is partly surprised. Out of the three of them, Bambam was the one who was the most comfortable in a club or even bar setting. He figures that Jinyoung must be using his birthday as an excuse to cut loose and become someone else for the night.

Bambam instantly nodded his head at Jinyoung’s suggestion and Jaebeom finds himself trailing behind the two of them as they make their way over to Mark at the bar who is throwing his head back at something the girl across the bar is saying. Judging on Jaebeom’s intuition – it’s a bit fake and overplayed, but you got to do what you got to do.

“My man!” Bambam yelled over the music, leaning against the counter in a way to make sure he doesn’t get the elbows of his long sleeve turtleneck wet. Mark in response, turned to them and smiled, then routing his attention back to the girl, giving her an apologetic smile. Her half-smile says everything Jaebeom could need to know – this girl would not be going home with Mark after his shift tonight.

“What can I get you guys tonight,” Mark turned to Jaebeom and the latter can barely make out his sharp canines in the dark club, “birthday boy you want anything special?”

Before Jaebeom can reply that he wants to be at home, Bambam answers for him.

“Could we maybe get something that’s off the menu?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Mark who gave him a shit-eating grin, knowing immediately what he was talking about.

“Off the menu” meant Mark’s secret stash of O negative underneath the counter. While alcohol had the same effect on them that it had on the average humans, adding a bit of blood just made a little bit better. Okay… it made it a lot better.

“Three negronis coming right up,” Mark winked to give a little signal that these would most likely not be as well composed or put together as a negroni, but due to them being in public, he couldn’t necessarily announce a shit ton of alcohol mixed with human blood was going to be served up to them.

“How has your birthday been Jae?” Mark asked as he was in the middle of placing three glasses onto the countertop in between them.

It was difficult to explain since to Jaebeom it had just been another day except for a little bit more excruciating. The celebration of another year “older” filled him with thoughts of how much time has passed, whether he’s done anything truly important and why he still hasn’t found the person who is meant to complete him… but like he said only a little more excruciating than any other day.

Jaebeom shrugged in response, “Bam planned a lot and for the most part, it was…” he paused for a moment, wondering if he should say how he felt – numb, lost, and wishing the day would come to an end as if tomorrow won’t bring the same thoughts or problems. But as he looked at his friends who had tried so hard today to make him happy and celebrate, he decided to guard them against the ultimate truth, “for the most part it was fun – really good. I mean besides the singing at the café of course.” He throws in the last part to at least have some kind of believability to his story.

He notices Mark’s eyebrows lift out of curiosity as his concentration focuses on measuring out each part of the drinks, “An entire café sang you happy birthday? Damn, I don’t think I could ever get through that, so I can only imagine how you feel.”

“That was Bam’s idea,” Jinyoung muttered.

Once again, Bambam does his nonchalant waving of the hand, “it wasn’t that bad. I mean okay, maybe it was… But Jaebeom was obsessed with the girl who led it.”

Jaebeom suddenly feels like he wants to put duct tape over his friend’s mouth.

“I was not obsessed with her! I don’t even know her!” Jaebeom for some reason felt the need to defend himself, which was probably the worst option. Him getting defensive was usually a tell-tale sign for his friends being right on whatever they were confronting him with.

Bambam scoffed, bringing gliding his drink across the bar to be directly in front of him once Mark has poured it neatly into the short glass, “I noticed you staring at her before I went to get the drinks. That’s why I asked her to do it in the first place.”

“So, she doesn’t know Minji?” Jinyoung questioned.

The youngest takes his first sip and immediately lets out a hissing noise, signaling to Mark that it’s both strong and good. “No, she does, but Jaebeom’s weird staring only made it that much better.”

Mark pushed the other two glasses towards Jinyoung and Jaebeom, “Was she your…” he drifted off, almost as though he was finding it physically difficult to get the word out. Jaebeom can’t help but feel the want to reach his hand out towards Mark and place it comfortingly on his shoulder, but his group of friends don’t do that. Instead, he saves him the trouble by answering back right away, not forcing him to say it.

“No, she wasn’t.”

The bartender nodded slowly, suddenly avoiding his gaze from the three familiar boys across the bar from him, “That’s uh… too bad that she wasn’t able to break the trance. Sorry, Jaebeom.”

He knows that Mark is just trying to be nice, especially when they’re on a subject that he clearly can’t and doesn’t want to talk about, but the attempt to be comforting makes Jaebeom nauseous.

“Well maybe he’ll find her here tonight,” Jinyoung quipped, placing a hand on Jaebeom’s back. Sometimes the latter swore that his friends treated him he had just found out he had a terminal illness.

“I sincerely doubt it,” Jaebeom commented gruffly.

There’s a sound from the other side of the bar from a customer who seems fed up with the conversation being had between the four of them – distracting Mark from serving anyone else. He gives a signal to them to notify them that he’ll be there in a second. “Well… come to me if you guys need more drinks. It’s on me tonight.”

“Thanks, man,” Jaebeom tells him honestly because he might need a couple more drinks before he gets to the state of wanting to be in this room.

Mark said a final word of “see you guys later” and heads to the other end of the bar to help customers who have been waiting. Grabbing their drinks, Jaebeom, Jinyoung, and Bambam turn around to depart the bar, to find somewhere to sit for a bit before the drinks truly begin to hit them.

With his drink in hand, Jaebeom took a sip and reveled in the perfect balance of alcohol to burn his throat and blood to soothe it. The drink was probably the most relaxing part of his day thus far and as he looked out at the crowd, he could already tell that maybe the mixture was going to his head due to his sudden thinking that this place wasn’t all that bad.

Despite not being a club guy, if he were to go out, Jaebeom would always choose this club that Mark works out. To put it simply – it was vampire friendly. With Mark behind the counter and his “secret” supply free-flowing, it became a notoriously known place for vampires in town. If he had to guess, the attendance on an average night was probably evenly split 50/50, humans and vampires.

The humans weren’t aware of the vampires of course – for the most part.

Jaebeom cleared his throat once they’ve found a booth to sit in, “so… Bam what do you know about that girl?”

Both Jinyoung and Bambam exchange glances before looking back at the birthday boy. The latter tried his best to conceal the smile on his face, “not much… just that she owns the café, knows Minji, and is very single.”

For some reason, Jaebeom’s stomach does a little flip, but he wishes it wouldn’t. “S-So?” Through his stutter, he tries to remain as confident as possible, but his friends see right through his façade.

Jinyoung leaned forward until his elbows rest on the top of his thighs, “Jaebeom you can be honest with us… Why the sudden fascination with this girl? Are you sure she didn’t break the trance? Just with the way that you’re acting…” Jinyoung drifted off, not bothering to finish his final sentence, but once again looking at Bambam. It makes Jaebeom lean forward in his seat as well.

“With the way, I’m acting? I’m completely normal. I’m fine. She didn’t break the trance and now I’m just curious about her as curious as anyone would be about someone they meet.”

There’s the silence between the three of them until Bambam speaks up, “You didn’t meet her though.”

It dawns on Jaebeom that he didn’t even speak to you and he wonders why does it feel like he did. Why did it feel like he knew you but didn’t at the same time? Why haven’t his mind and body been cooperating with him since this morning at the café?

Just with the way that you’re acting…

The way he was acting? What did that mean? Was the way he was acting mean something specific?

He feels like he blinks and thirty minutes go by. And in that past thirty minutes, Jaebeom had somehow managed to drink 6 of Mark’s “negronis.” He felt like his head was beginning to get dizzy. It wasn’t often that Jaebeom found himself drunk on the verge of drunkenness due to alcohol not affecting him as much as humans. To even remotely get to that state, he had to drink a lot and it had to be strong.

“You feeling it Jaebeom?” Through the darkness and the haze of the alcohol, Jaebeom could barely make out the hint of the smile playing on Jinyoung’s face. He had switched to a glass of wine at some point while Jaebeom was binge drinking which had to be the most Jinyoung thing ever. Who drinks a glass of wine in a dark, sweaty club?

He’s afraid to answer him verbally which would give his friend an obvious sign of how he was feeling. So instead he just shrugged – as usual.

“Dude let’s get out there!” The youngest shouted, motioning his hands to the middle of the club, “dance… maybe find you a girl?”

Jaebeom watched the people pressing up against each other on the dancefloor, moving their bodies, and drinking like their lives depended on it. He wondered if he wanted to be a part of that. Everyone out there was so full of life and vigor… he just wasn’t. He also didn’t know if he was that drunk, but bless Bambam because he didn’t need alcohol to be out there.

For what feels like the millionth time, his mind drifted to you. Was this your kind of place? Would you come here? If you did would you come alone? With friends? Someone else? You didn’t seem like the type of person who would like this place. You seemed more like him – the observant, calm, inquisitive type who would much rather be at home with a book than at a party.

Then for a moment, he can picture it. It’s almost like he’s in a trance – an image of you curled up on a couch – his couch – under a large white cable knit blanket fills his mind. Rather than reading, your painting with watercolors – the kind that seems to be in every elementary school classroom – and he hears a voice out of view. His voice.

“Painting really?”

Jaebeom sees you glance up from your painting to look at him, smiling.

“Looks like I’m gonna have a lot of time on my hands so… might as well get good at something.”

Jaebeom hears himself laugh, “Okay but watercolors?”

He feels like he’s going to pass out when he finally hears it – your laugh.

“Let the artist work Im Jaebeom! She needs to get good enough to live off auction house money once her paintings get sold! Shh!” Despite your words, you smiled and suddenly moved the tools away from you onto the coffee table. You lifted half the blanket off of you and patted the space of the couch beside you, “you know I can’t say no when you give me that face. Come here.”

And just like that, the vision is gone. Jaebeom feels confused because it didn’t feel like a dream or fantasy, but it felt real… it felt like a memory.

“Hello, Earth to Jaebeom?”

Right… dancing. Maybe dancing would help him forget whatever game his mind was playing on him.

“Yeah let’s fucking go.”

Another instance occurs where Jaebeom blinks and everything moves so fast. Suddenly he’s no longer sat at the table with Bambam and Jinyoung, but instead in the middle of that mess on the dancefloor with everyone else. He almost feels like one of them. He almost feels human again. But as soon as that feeling washes over him, it quickly dissipates.

He knows it must be the drinks doing all the work, because otherwise, he would have never found himself in the middle of all these people, thinking that dancing is a good idea. Dancing had never done anything remotely good for him before, so why now? To help forget? Was it going to help him do that?

“I swear it’s like he’s not even here.”

Jaebeom tuned back into the moment, and it’s when he realizes that Jinyoung and Bambam have been trying to get his attention this entire time.

“Sorry I was just- the alcohol you know…” He says it so quietly that he knows his friends won’t be able to hear him over the music and the millions of conversations happening around them. But he thinks that maybe it’s better that way and that it truly doesn’t matter what he says.

Jinyoung comes closer to Jaebeom, until his mouth is right next to his ear, “we were just asking if there’s anyone that you’re interested in.”

They’re still on this idea? Jaebeom asked himself.

Even in his drunken state, he didn’t think that finding some random girl to fuck was going to help with the emptiness he’s been feeling lately, but for the first time since getting up and onto the dance floor he takes in the people around him. As depressing as it was to observe, most people were here with someone else.

It’s then his gaze falls onto a couple that stands far on the left side of the floor, behind where Jinyoung is standing. The two of them have their fronts pressed up against each other, dancing so closely with arms exploring one another’s bodies. The female has her head resting on the male’s shoulder as if she’s too exhausted to keep going, but can’t dare to part with him. It’s like they’re part of each other and any distance would cause them to lose all sense of themselves.

The girl lifts her head off the male’s shoulder and gives him this look that makes Jaebeom’s heart – if it was still beating – ache. She says something to him and he nodded happily in response. Even through the dim lights and large crowd, Jaebeom could see the sharp teeth inside her mouth.

She placed her head back against his shoulder, this time, however, the male had his head angled back, stretching out his neck. The girl moves in closer until her mouth just ghosts over the skin, breathing on it until the boy shuts his eyes awaiting the sting and pleasure that will come next.

Biting down against his flesh, breaking skin, the girl drinks from her partner. Even though he’s at a distance from them, Jaebeom can tell by the look on the man’s face that he’s enjoying being fed on and that it certainly isn’t his first time.

He feels like his eyes are frozen on the couple. It’s been so long since he fed off someone instead of the stuff that he gets from his connection at the hospital. Jaebeom tries not to think about the way his fingertips tingle and his throat dries up at the thought of drinking from a warm body. The alcohol has only dehydrated him and made him feel even more thirsty – he’s afraid that going back to the bar and asking Mark for a glass of O negative exclusively isn’t going to make that go away.

After a moment or two, the girl removes her mouth from the boy’s neck and drags her tongue over the spot where she had drawn blood from, ultimately covering the wound and signaling that she was done drinking.

He thinks of how risky it is to do that at a place like this. Although half of the people around them also take part in the activity of drinking blooding and granted most of them aren’t paying attention to those around them – there are still unsuspecting humans everywhere. If one wrong person were to see then that could be it for this club being a haven for the vampire community in the city and that would probably be… it for vampires in this city in general.

But who was he kidding? He was being a hypocrite because he’s for sure done the same thing.

You’ve once again entered his mind. However, this time it isn’t an image, picture, or vision that occupies his thoughts, but instead just the idea of how you would react to who he is, what he really is. Throughout his time that he’s been undead he’s only done the “reveal” to a handful of people and even then, it took him a long time to get there. Well except for one person who ultimately was a mistake and his friends hadn’t hesitated to let him know.

With you, Jaebeom felt that you wouldn’t be the kind of person to judge him instantly based on what he was. You would be shocked of course, maybe even scared, but you wouldn’t let that cloud your judgment. You wouldn’t let yourself reject something just because it was unfamiliar.

What the fuck was he on about?

It must be the alcohol doing this to him. He would have to thank Mark for making them strong this time around, but also make a mental note to never let this happen again. Jaebeom was already a deeper thinker, but this was getting out of hand.

There’s a sudden grasp of Jaebeom’s elbow and he feels himself jump at the sudden touch. His eyebrows furrowed when he realized it wasn’t one of his friends considering Bambam and Jinyoung were both dancing over to his right side.

When he turned around to greet the person who had grabbed him, he was disappointed, surprised, and annoyed all in one. It was the last person he had expected to see her, except not really because it made perfect sense.

“Jaebeom… hi.” Ara smiled shyly at him, tucking a string of hair behind her ear and slightly looking down at the ground. He wants to groan because he knows she’s doing this because he had once mentioned that he thought it was hot when she looked innocent. He shouldn’t have ever said that.

He’s not sure what to say, because what are you supposed to say to someone you’ve been trying to avoid for the past year and a half? Jaebeom had said everything he had wanted to say to her.

At one point in his life, he had been stupid. He had been stupid and he had abused the power that had been bestowed upon him since the day he had been turned. Perhaps one would assume that he’d been foolish with his ability just at the start – 100, maybe even 150 years ago. Instead, Jaebeom had gone through a rough patch about a year or two ago.

The overwhelming pressure of finding his mate had started to get to him again. All he needed was someone, anyone to break the hypnotic trance and that was it. A task that seemed so simple, yet never came. So, Jaebeom had used hypnotism to his advantage, getting as many girls as he could in his bed in the shortest amount of time possible. He wasn’t proud of it and it was something he would constantly regret as long as he was ali- around.

One of those girls… had been Ara.

Jaebeom felt relieved when she didn’t wait for him to answer back at her greeting, “How are you? I-It’s your birthday, right? How old are you turning again? 27?” She winked immediately after her question and he wants to roll his eyes.

She was the mistake by the way. The mistake that knew about who he was.

He doesn’t even remember how it happened, how his secret slipped, or what the circumstances of her finding out was. Part of him thinks he was just horny, thirsty, and weak, but she found out and she… loved it.

Weirdly enough, Ara loved the idea of him being a vampire and his “lifestyle” which at first Jaebeom didn’t think too much about. He thought okay she’s taking this extremely well… better than anyone else I’ve ever told, but whatever, but then it became strange.

She was what those in the vampire community call a “vampire fetishizer.”

He coughed awkwardly, his gaze wandering over to Jinyoung and Bambam, hoping they would catch sight of him stuck with Ara and come rescue him. Jaebeom wasn’t that lucky though, not even on his birthday, “Yeah… 27.”

Jaebeom can’t help but look at her neck. It’s fully on display and it was clear that Ara had come here to find someone to feed on her. He had been the one to show Ara this place before he had been clued into her little… vampire obsession.

“Well did the birthday boy get everything he wants today?” She smiled and gave Jaebeom those eyes. He feels his cock twitch in his pants and he realizes he has to keep himself in check because he’s not that weak tonight… right?

His eyes flash to her neck again and Jaebeom feels his throat get even drier. He was so thirsty and he knows Ara would be so willing.

No Jaebeom… No.

“I-I uh yeah… you know got- yeah today’s been good,” he stuttered awkwardly, bringing his tongue out to wet his dry lips. Judging on the look on Ara’s face, she’s taken the action the wrong way.

“You look thirsty Jaebeom… do you want a drink?”

He knows what she means and Jaebeom swallows hard in an attempt to distract himself, to remind himself that he’s not that thirsty. He doesn’t need it that bad.

“I-I think I am.”

The words come out faster than his brain can process to stop them and the part of Jaebeom that’s coherent, sharp, and aware wants to punch the weak and drunk Jaebeom in the face.

Without a word, Ara turned from Jaebeom and began walking to one of the exits at the side of the club. He feels like he’s the one in a trance, mindlessly following her through the people, not even hearing Jinyoung and Bambam calling out to him. The only thing that Jaebeom makes note of as he follows her is Mark’s face behind the bar, giving him a tight smile. It almost stops Jaebeom. Almost.

When they finally get outside through the exit door, they find themselves in a small alley between the club and a dry cleaner.

Jaebeom doesn’t even get a moment to think before Ara is pushing him against the wall of the dry cleaner, her hands roaming up and down his body, her lips going to his own. They’re pressed up against each other so closely that he recalls the couple he had watched earlier. He feels sick comparing this moment now to the two of them.

“Fuck I missed you so much,” Ara sighed seductively into this ear, making Jaebeom’s stomach churn further at her clear longing for him. Well not him, but the vampire part of him.

“Please, I need it,” she mewled. At her words, he almost puts a stop to this whole thing and has to question whether this is the right thing to do. Jaebeom wonders if this is old Jaebeom behavior – the one that just used women and threw them away later like toys, but then he remembers that this is Ara. She’s using him as well.

It’s almost as though that old, cocky, snide Jaebeom appears out of nowhere as he says his next words and brings himself closer to her neck, “do you really need it?”

“Yes, Jaebeom I do, please.” Ara already sounds so desperate and he’s barely done anything. He can’t help but smirk at her reaction.

“Then I guess I better give it to you then.”

He’s about to do it. He’s about to bite down and finally relieve his thirst, his craving, but then he looks to the side of the alley – towards the street. He feels like he’s seeing things again like he’s in the middle of a hallucination or mirage. That thought is pushed away when he locks eyes with you.

“Don’t mind me,” you placed your hands up in front of yourself, to show him you’re not eavesdropping. Your action frustrated you because it would have been much better to say nothing, but you felt yourself panic. The prolonged eye contact with him while he’s just seconds away from pressing down – bitting down? – on the girl’s next for some reason pushed you into defensive mode. Not to mention his eyes… his eyes were – red?

The girl hadn’t noticed you; you aren’t even sure if she heard you, but she certainly noticed Jaebeom’s stare fixated on you. When she faces you, she wears an unpleasant sneer, clearly annoyed by your interruption of whatever this was.

“Can you go?” She said, the agitation in her voice more than apparent.

Rather than immediately leave the scene, you continued to stare at Jaebeom. It’s difficult to say why you decided to walk this specific way home despite it being so late and dark out, but for some reason, you couldn’t help but be pulled in this direction. You weren’t someone who believed in signs or fate, but it felt so wrong to go any other way tonight. That was another thing, you felt this kink in your neck that practically forced you or taunted you into looking down the alley between this dry cleaners and club. It was yet another thing about today that felt unexplainable to you as you certainly weren’t expecting the birthday boy from the café today to be in a compromising position with some girl.

After a moment of more uncomfortable staring – something else that had happened at the café today with him – Jaebeom breaks your gaze and looks down at his feet. The eye roll and acrid look on the girl’s face don’t go unnoticed by you.

You shouldn’t be here.

“S-Sorry. I’ll just get going then,” you concluded, unsure why you felt an uncomfortable sickness spread throughout the entirety of your body.

You barely knew this guy – all you really knew was that today was his birthday and that he was friends with Minji’s boyfriend. Basically nothing. Yet now and even earlier back at the café you had felt this weird sensation within yourself. Not even when you looked at him, but just being in the same presence. It had been so hard to focus on making coffee today when he was seated across the room. Every part of your body just wanted to get closer, gravitate towards him. It was fucking weird… and scary.

The girl nodded as if to signal “yeah about time,” at the announcement of your departure. Jaebeom on the other hand, still had his eyes glued to the ground as if looking at you once again will cause him some kind of pain.

Just as you’re about to continue your trip back home, you stop yourself and look back at the couple in the alley.

“Happy birthday by the way…” you paused wondering if it would be weird to say his name considering he doesn’t even know yours, but you shove the thought out of your mind, “Jaebeom…”

Hearing you say his name causes that tingling feeling in his fingertips to come back and his entire mind is sent into a frenzy. He feels too awkward, too shy to look at you again, but a sudden thought washed over him. What if earlier was a mistake? What if you are his mate? With the way he was currently feeling just at you saying his name, the visions he had in the club and the nonstop place you know had in his mind, it was difficult to believe that you weren’t his mate.

Bambam and Jinyoung had found it difficult to explain to him what it felt like to find your mate, but surely what he felt right now wasn’t normal behavior or feelings. Unless he was a psychopath.

Tightly shutting his eyes and drawing together all his strength, Jaebeom aims to try once again to see if you can break the hypnotic trance, unaffected by his abilities. However, as soon as he’s finally ready, head turned up to face you – you’re gone. You didn’t wait for him to respond to the happy birthday message. Instead, you simply left not wanting to be a burden or troublesome to whatever it was those two were doing in that alley.

“Thank fucking god, let’s get back to it,” Ara concluded with a final roll of her eyes, gripping Jaebeom’s shoulders to get him close to her once again. He stares at her neck, but this time he doesn’t feel anything. He no longer feels thirsty and his appetite is gone.

Jaebeom shrugs her off slightly. The encounter with you has caused him to wake up and realize what a bad idea it would be to do this right now. He hopes that Ara won’t put up a fight – he doesn’t want to have to hypnotize her if he doesn’t need to.

At his actions, Ara takes a step away in disbelief, as if she actually can’t believe that Jaebeom is changing his mind and no longer wants her, “are you serious?”

He doesn’t say anything but instead avoids eye contact with her just as he had done for you.

Snorting, she glared at him, “Fine. Whatever. I don’t fucking care. I can find someone else to feed off of me. Yours never felt that good anyway. Asshole.”

Just like that, she’s out of his life once again and Jaebeom can’t help but feel thankful. He should have never been weak enough to be dragged out by here anyway. He had just been consumed by thoughts of you, alcohol, and the couple on the dancefloor. Then again, not coming out here would have robbed him of the opportunity of seeing you again and finding out that you actually knew his name.

That’s when it dawned on him.

Fuck… how much had you seen? What did you see?

Jaebeom realized that he might have some explaining to do

#got7 fanfic #got7 smut #im jaebeom fanfic #jaebeom fanfic #jaebeom smut

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szivtalan · 4 years ago

Text

love is in the words unspoken

all these moments are golden,

forever is mine with you

the blossoming of the cherry trees always puts hawks in a strange mood. he thinks they’re romantic, magical - reminds him of a time when he was more naive, more dreamy, didn’t know much about the world. it’s nostalgic, to see the carpet of sakura petals on the streets, reminding him of what is and what could’ve been.

‘hawks!’

it’s ironic that he runs into endeavor’s child just as the flowers begin to fall.

‘hey, it’s todoroki.’ he grins, glancing at the two heroes behind the one already rushing up to him: deku and dynamight. ah yes, the three musketeers, as they call themselves. it’s nice to see the top three teaming up that way. ‘where’s the honorific though, kiddo? i’m still much older than you.’

‘not that much.’ shoto replies, and it feels like a shot to the heart. that’s right... they’re both in their twenties now. ‘and i figured i’d drop the honorifics now that i’m above you on the hero ranking list.’

the tilt of his head would be adorable if he weren’t such an asshole. tokoyami was right when he said that his youngest was different than endeavor - hawks only wished to see such a playful side of him.

‘the disrespect.’ hawks laughs, slapping shoto on the shoulder. he hits harder than what would be necessary, but the boy doesn’t even bat an eye. sturdy. and tall. holy shit, is he taller than hawks now? ‘anyway, i really don’t mind. are you guys patrolling around here?’

‘GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE HALF-AND-HALF, BEFORE I GO THERE AND BEAT IT!’ one youngster yells at them.

‘kacchan, don’t be so rude! he’s talking to hawks-san!’

‘friendly bunch.’ hawks snorts, and shoto just shakes his head with a smile.

‘they’re the best. i’m just trying to catch up.’ he admits, sounding sincere.

‘DON’T IGNORE ME, FUCKFACE!’

‘what are you doing around here anyway?’ shoto asks. ‘isn’t your office in a different city?’

‘yeah, i just came here to stretch my wings, take a walk.’ hawks says, ruffling his feathers a little for emphasis.

‘are you walking on your wings?’

‘n-no...?’

‘then how-’

‘WRAP IT UP NOW!’ at dynamight’s next shout, shoto visibly flinches. he seems more irritated than scared, at least to hawks.

‘i just wanted to thank you for helping my dad all those years ago.’ shoto says then, bowing his head a little. hawks takes it back, he doesn’t have an ounce of disrespect in his body. he’s just a little warped in the social area, and hawks has a fairly good guess where he gets that from. ‘i’ll be going now.’

‘wait, ah- how, how’s the old man?’ hawks tries to aim for anything but desperate. ‘i haven’t heard from him since the retirement.’

shoto looks at him thoughtfully, and those dual-colored eyes make hawks immeasurably nervous. he feels like he’s staring into his soul, opening up the secrets he’s got locked inside.

‘he’s well. i go home on weekends.’ shoto says, pulling up a notebook and a pen. ‘here’s the address. i think he’d appreciate the visit.’

the road to the todoroki estate was the most tiring one hawks had taken in a while. it’s not like it was far from where they met with shoto, but he spent the entire time worrying if he’s dressed well for the occasion, if he should just walk instead of flying to not get gross and sweaty - if endeavor will even let him in, or he’ll just pass by and get told off.

the house is huge, traditional, designed in classic enji taste. hawks could see the roof from a street away, almost walks into a lamppost while staring, his heart picking up the speed both from the scare and the nerves. his feet feel heavier with every step, walking down the street, finally getting to the gate-

and seeing todoroki enji, former number one hero, the feared endeavor sweep the walkway to his door, the scene way too casual to not send an already spring-up hawks into hysterics.

‘what the hell is that?’ hawks spits, laughter erupting from deep in his belly. the look on endeavor’s face just makes him shriek louder, his abs clenching with it. ‘is that- a fucking broom for ants, endeavor, you look so funny-’

‘can’t a man just do his chores in peace?!’ endeavor’s yelling now; sparks fly on his heated skin, and then they burst into flames.

‘now that’s the endeavor-san i know and love.’ he laughs, holding onto his own stomach, wiping his tears. endeavor’s face appears red under all that fire, he walks up to the gate to let him in.

‘what are you doing here, anyway?’ he mumbles, extinguishing himself as hawks walked in. he holds his broom under his armpit rather awkwardly, with the gracelessness of a man not quite used to doing the cleaning. hawks looks at him, observes: the slouch in his shoulders, the specks of grey in his stubble, the blush high on his cheek, the early wrinkles. he smiles to himself, reasons unknown, buried deep in a secluded part of his heart.

‘ran into your kid downtown, he said i should drop by and say hello.’ hawks lifts the nylon bags he’s been carrying, offers a lopsided grin. ‘i brought takeout.’

‘hmpft.’ endeavor is elaborate, as always. a man of few words and plenty actions, something hawks has always admired in him. ‘you can stay. only for the food.’

‘so you’re still very much hopeless in the kitchen, eh?’

‘don’t make me change my mind, brat!’

the house is huge on the inside, at least five bedrooms, two bathrooms, a big kitchen and dining room, and one living room all fit into one floor. all of it echoes from their steps, empty and lonely.

‘your boy said that he’s visiting you on weekend.’ hawks pries, shrugging his coat off as he hands over the bag. his fingers brush against endeavor’s fight-hardened, calloused ones and his heart feels like it could jump out of his chest again.

‘whenever he has the time. shoto’s a busy man.’ endeavor nods, his voice dripping with pride. hawks doesn’t need him to say any more to know how fond he is of his son. it makes him smile, actually. ‘why?’

‘and the rest of your family?’ he asks, a little more cautious.

‘i see rei and natsuo on holidays, and fuyumi usually spends her school breaks here.’ enji sets down the bag at the low table, grabs a pair of chopsticks from the dish rack. there are plates piled high there: it seems like he can clean up after himself, but refuses to put things away. hawks figures it’s pretty comfortable, considers that for a second before he realizes how much he can see into endeavor’s private life.

they sit down at the same time, and their eyes meet. ‘i’m not lonely.’ enji immediately turns defensive. there’s probably pity or sadness in hawks’ eyes, he wasn’t paying attention to his expression for a second.

‘i wasn’t suggesting you were.’

‘being alone is something i deserve. so i take my punishment with pride and strength.’ enji squares his shoulder, sitting up impossibly straight at his uncomfortable seat. he takes the boxes out, scatters them across the table for them to reach. no plates, though. ‘itadakimasu.’

they eat mostly in silence, warm, comfortable, and hawks can’t take his eyes off him. endeavor looks so casual, so approachable like this. he looks soft, in the slightly frayed sweatpants, a little weary from use, and the soft cotton shirt hugging his bulging muscles, stretching across his enormous shoulders. his face is a little thin, the wrinkles obvious on its unharmed half. from this close, hawks can see the grey hairs on his temple, too.

‘i’m looking for a place to stay.’ hawks announces once they’re finished eating. the look of surprise and something else - hope? no, it can’t be... - flashing across endeavor’s face startles him, but he’s not about to back down, now. ‘what-... ugh, how much do you think you’d rent out a room for?’

‘what?’ endeavor appears shell-shocked. ‘wh- why?’

‘well, because my apartment building is remodeling, and i’m pretty sick of living in the busier side of the city anyway. figured i’d change it up, move into the suburbs-’

‘that’s not what i’m asking.’ he snaps. ‘why me? don’t you have friends who’d let you stay with them?’

‘not anyone i’d like to move in with.’ hawks shrugs, playing with a few leftover grains of rice. ‘you know, i can cook, and i’m also willing to dry off and put away your damn dishes.’

‘hawks...’

‘c’mon, we can have sleepovers! i can braid your hair and you can braid mine. it will be fun!’

‘i can’t let you do that, hawks.’

‘okay, yes, i admit, your mane’s a little short for a proper french braid, but i can make do-’

‘hawks.’ enji’s voice booms. ‘no.’

‘you’ve known me for almost a decade, old man.’ hawks is talking back, suddenly fired up. ‘why won’t you just let me take care of you?’

‘because i’m a perfectly capable person who doesn’t need anyone to take care of them.’ he huffs, steam seeping from his nose. ‘and because i can’t let you do that to yourself.’

‘what, enji?’ he’s loud. is he shouting? he can’t tell.

‘waste your time on a bitter old man who isn’t worthy of you.’

now they’re pulling up the big guns. hawks deflates, props his head up on his elbows.

‘retired, but still on your self-deprecating bullshit.’ he sighs. ‘will you take it to the grave?’

‘hawks, i’m serious-’

‘and i’ve been serious, too. my entire life, about my feelings for you. you kept shaking me off, saying it wasn’t appropriate for someone your age dating someone so young, saying you were married, but all this time, i kept getting refused because you hate yourself too much to allow yourself to be loved?’

hawks doesn’t know when he stood up, but he’s falling to his knees beside enji now.

‘what kind of an asshole does that...?’ he whispers, staring right into enji’s fearful eyes.

‘an asshole who cares about you.’ enji murmurs, letting hawks hit him in the chest.

‘this isn’t “caring” about someone! this is just lying to yourself and keeping yourself from being happy!’ his fingers tangle in the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.

‘keigo-’ enji hisses, losing his balance and gripping the edge of the table so he doesn’t fall against the other man.

‘tell me no.’ hawks proposes, his free hand coming up to cradle his jaw, so prickly and manly and strong, the shudder that ripples through him from the gentle touch, making him so weak and vulnerable. ‘no more running away, enji, no more games. tell me no right now, and i won’t ever bother you again.’

endeavor furrows his brows, the skin around his scar pulling grotesquely over his face with the struggle. he takes a deep breath, and hawks gets goosebumps as the hot air from the exhale hits his skin.

‘i can’t...’ enji whispers, and hawks can barely hear over the sound of his heart shattering. he starts to let go, but he forgets to breathe and move altogether as enji leans in instead, hand coming up to hold him close by the back of his head. ‘i can’t say no, not anymore...’

the first touch of lips against his have his insides flutter, almost working him into a panicked frenzy. he can only hope that enji can’t feel his heart beating in his throat as he kisses him, deep and desperate and oh so careful. hawks clings into him, lets him chase him for a change, holds on for the ride.

when they separate, hawks feels dizzy, drunk with heat and pleasure. enji looks just about as much present, he seems dumbfounded.

‘well, uh.’ he says, and hawks would kick anyone who says he doesn’t have a way with words.

‘i can come on thursdays and fridays.’ he offers, for now. ‘that way your kids can still have you on weekends.’

‘thanks.’ that’s all endeavor says before he pushes a few stray strands of hair back from hawks’ face, leans in for another kiss.

it’s a date, then.

#bnha #endhawks #anime #enho #todoroki enji #takami keigo #todoroki shouto #vmine #fluff #future fic #oh look at me not respecting my art and writing in a tumblr post again #oh but well i worked on it all afternoon so enjoy?#tododekubaku #if u squint lol #bakugo katsuki #midoriya izuku

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irishseeeker · 4 years ago

Link

the story of us

summary: Five times Kate Sheffield and Anthony Bridgeton were just friends and one time they were more.

find chapter 1 here or here

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chapter 2: I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

Anthony Bridgerton’s summer gets significantly better the minute Kate Sheffield steps off the train.

He’d been abroad for the first two weeks of the summer with friends from university, Kate had only come for a few days before she went away with Mary and her sister, and he returned to England to wait out the rest of the summer with his family. He couldn’t stay away for too long, the guilt of leaving his mother and siblings alone would nag at him until he couldn’t focus on anything else. They needed him.

When they hugged on the platform, the familiar, comforting scent of lilies and soap filled his nostrils and he felt this calm feeling seep deep into his bones.

He’d missed her.

When they broke apart, he took her suitcase and he raised an eyebrow at the bouquet of red roses tied up with brown paper and a ribbon.

“Aw, did you get me flowers?” He teased, and she stuck her tongue out at him. He snorted loudly.

“They’re for your mum, dipshit.”

He pulled up her suitcase’s handle, beginning to wheel it and walk with her off the platform. “Charming. What did you get me?”

“Oh, this.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out her middle finger, smirking as she waved it at him.

They walked out of the train station and towards his car. It was a quiet station, right in the middle of the countryside. The main station was in the middle of town, which was a twenty minute drive.

He pressed a button on his car keys and the boot automatically opened. He was driving their Range Rover, one of their bigger cars for the country. They always spent the summer at their country home Aubrey Hall in Kent, leaving London for most of the summer.

The countryside used to be his favourite place.

Now, it just reminded him of his father. Every room and the long hallways were plagued with memories. Memories that would only grow older. His father wouldn’t. His father would never be a part of another memory.

“Jesus, did you pack your entire wardrobe in here?” He huffed as he bent down, putting his weight onto his knees as he hauled her suitcase into the boot.

She scoffed. "You brought at least six suitcases to university.”

They climbed into the car, Anthony clicked in his seatbelt. He turned to glance at Kate, who was tying her hair back in a plait. The golden sun shone through the window, lighting up Kate’s face and dotting it with subtle sparkles.

It suddenly became quite hard to breathe.

“Anthony?”

Her timid voice snapped him out of his daze, turning to her. “Yeah?”

Kate was frowning at him, her nose wrinkling like it always did. “You’re staring. Is there something on my face?”

“I wasn’t staring,” He mumbled, turning on the car and avoiding her eyes. “We better get back. Mum will kill me if we’re late for lunch.”

“I hope your mum hasn’t gone to too much trouble,” Kate murmured, fiddling with her hands with a nervous expression on her face. He knew that look, he had seen it a lot over the past two years. She was biting her bottom lip, which was an unwelcome distraction while he was driving. “It’s so nice of her to let me stay.”

He had been with Kate for five minutes and his mind was already drifting there.

It started a few weeks ago.

He had a dream.

It had started out relatively normal. He was laying on his bed, naked, wrapped in a white sheet. He wasn’t alone.

A woman was with him. A naked woman, her long legs covered by the white sheet. He couldn’t tell who she was at first, laying flat on her stomach tucked against his side.

He notices the dark curls first.

Anthony wraps a thick strand around his hand, watching it slowly twirl around his fingers and wrist. He can see the sharp edge of her jawline, the flutter of her long eyelashes and the fullness of her rose tinted lips.

All of her features form a face.

Kate.

Her face is carved into his memory. He can’t stop thinking about the sprinkle of dark freckles across her nose, the slight pink tint to her cheeks and the delicate leanness of her fingers as they stroked his cheek.

It’s like he never truly saw her before and now she’s all he can see.

The dream always ended the same way. Kate slowly moves on top of him, her hands on either side of his face as her body pressed against his, chest against chest. She leans down slowly, their lips inches apart-

He always wakes up the same way-panting and sweating.

At first, he thought it didn’t mean anything. Kate may be the first woman he had a platonic relationship with that he wasn’t related to and having a sexual dream about her didn’t mean anything.

It couldn’t mean anything.

But-

He kept having the same dream.

The woman was always Kate.

It was ruining his life.

It’s not like he had never noticed Kate. He wasn’t blind. She had always been beautiful. Anthony had just never thought of her that way. He had never allowed himself too.

Kate was his best friend. Kate had sat down in the same tutorial as him and quickly began to argue with him and he had been stuck ever since.

He wouldn’t lose her because of his behavior. His track record with women had been treacherous and Anthony knew it was mostly his fault.

Something had died inside of him when his father did and he had accepted that. It wasn’t fair to expect others to as well. He was emotionally unavailable and he wasn’t ready for a relationship. Siena had proven that.

That painful disaster wasn't something he planned to repeat.

He couldn’t fix himself. There was a part of him that would always be broken.

Anthony realized he hadn’t responded to Kate, so he asked her about her trip. He knew most of the details, they had facetimed nearly every day since they had been apart.

Kate had suddenly appeared in his life and she had remained there ever since. It still frightened him, how in two years she had become so vital. Kate had become his anchor. He never intended for her to happen but it was out of his control. Kate had fit into his life in a way no one else had since his father had.

She was the first person in a long time Anthony felt understood him. There had only been one other person who ever could and he had died.

Kate had lost her dad too. It wasn’t a taboo topic between them. They could speak openly about who they had lost and they understood each other.

He didn’t have to be anything for her. He didn’t have to be her emotional support person like he had to for his mother. He didn’t have to be a surrogate father like he did for his siblings. He didn’t have any pressurizing responsibilities like he did in every other part of his life and he didn’t have to put on a false façade that he was fine and everything was fine.

Anthony would do anything for Kate, he just didn’t have to. It was a comforting thought that lifted the heavy weight off his shoulders just a little.

He had survived two years without crossing that line with Kate.

His subconscious had decided to take it upon itself and do it for him. It was as if a switch inside of his brain had flicked and it was all he could think about. Thinking of Kate in that way.

Lately, Kate was all he could think about.

He was convinced his subconscious was playing tricks on him-if something was meant to happen between them, it would have.

It didn’t matter, in the end.

Kate would never see him in that way. Kate had always been hard to read but he had become accustomed to seeing through the cracks in her built up walls and he was certain she would never feel anything for him but friendship.

He could live with that.

He just couldn’t live without her.

“Here we are,” He said, nodding his head towards the house as they pulled up at the two black iron gates guarding the property. He pushed on the break, reaching out the window to type in the key code to open the gates. “Aubrey Hall.”

“Wow,” Kate said, leaning forward towards the dashboard as they drove up the long pebbled driveway towards the house. “It’s beautiful. It’s finally time to meet the Bridgertons.”

Anthony let out a low chuckle, nodding his head. He didn’t doubt for a second Kate knew every little detail he had told her about all of his siblings, he did talk about them a lot. She had met Benedict and Colin a few times when they visited Oxford and had seen Benedict quite a bit once he became a student himself but she had never met his younger siblings or his mother.

He had never brought anyone to Aubrey Hall before.

His mother, of course, appeared at the front door as soon as the car came to a stop. He didn’t doubt she had been waiting at the window, peeking behind their curtains for them to arrive. Violet Bridgerton had been asking a lot of questions about Kate since Anthony had asked if she could come to stay.

His mother didn’t ask questions without insinuations behind them.

Benedict and Colin had found it particularly amusing, taking every opportunity to take the piss out of Anthony. They gleefully egged on their mother’s eagerness of meeting Anthony’s potential girlfriend despite Anthony reminding his family daily Kate was his friend.

Apparently, he talked about Kate a lot. He obviously disagreed, which made Ben and Colin tease him further. What fun things do you have planned for you and Kate when she comes, Anthony? A romantic picnic in the gardens? What would Kate say about that, Anthony? Aw, didn’t you and Kate do that Anthony? Anthony, are you feeling okay? You haven’t talked about Kate in five minutes. The girls had even joined in. Even Frannie, his sworn ally, had teased him a little.

Traitor.

He was adamant he did not talk about Kate that much.

It was a perfectly normal amount.

They got out of the car and Violet walked towards them, ignoring Anthony as she pulled Kate into a hug. “Kate, it’s so wonderful to finally meet you. Please, come in! Anthony, get her bags darling.”

“Miss Bridgerton, it is so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for having me,” Kate said, handing her the bouquet of tulips and a gift bag. “It’s not much, but I hope you like them.”

“Kate, we have heard so much about you.” Violet Bridgerton smiled at her and gasped at the gifts, ignoring Anthony’s glare at her jibe and Benedict’s snort from the doorway. “Oh! You shouldn’t have. Thank you so much. These are gorgeous, I’ll have to get a vase-girls, stop that right now! Excuse me, dear.”

Daphne and Eloise were on their third argument of the day, right on schedule. They quickly shut up and ran away from their scowling mother who was charging towards them.

They all watched Violet in amusement before turning back to each other, and Benedict grinned at Kate and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“Katharine.”

“Benedict.” Kate chimed back at him, reaching up to squeeze his cheek. “You’re so grown up.”

Benedict turned to smirk at Anthony, his eyes sparking with amusement. “Anthony has been counting down the days until you arrive. Marking them off that little corgi calendar you gave him, bless his little heart-”

Kate gasped, turning to Anthony delighted. It made something inside of his chest flutter a little. “You’re using the calendar?”

Anthony shrugged, trying to appear unbothered. “It’s practical. The girls liked the pictures.”

“Ben, I hope you’re not taking the piss out of our brother without me.”

Lord give him strength.

Colin, his 18 year old brother who was about to set off travelling on his gap year in a few weeks, strolled into the room. His brown hair was sticking up in all directions and he probably just woke up.

Benedict, smug as ever, turned to smirk at his younger brother. “I was only warming up.”

“Hey, Kate.” Colin grinned easily at her, crossing his arms as he joined them. “Don’t lie, Anthony. The girls liked looking at it for a few minutes. I drew a penis on it one time and you got all moody-”

Anthony narrowed his eyes at his brothers.“I will murder you, you know that right?”

Kate glanced between the three brothers, looking highly amused. “This is going to be fun.”

Deciding he had had enough of his brothers for the afternoon and validly cautious of what else was going to come out of their mouths, he gestured towards the staircases. He nudged Kate along. “As delightful as this little catchup is, I’m going to show Kate her room.”

“Can we get you guys anything? A snack? A condom?” Colin called after them, Benedict and his snickering filling the hallway. Kate snorted from beside him, jogging up the steps.

Anthony threw the first thing he could grab, which happened to be one of Hyacinth’s tiny pink uggs. It narrowly avoided his great aunt’s blue clay pot on the hall table as it hit Colin smack on the head.

“I’d ask for one but then you’d actually have to be having some to need them, right Col?” Anthony winked at his brother who was rubbing his head, glaring at Anthony from across the hall. “Hang in there, mate.”

“I have plenty of sex, thank you very-”

“Colin Bridgerton!”

His mother had walked into the hallway just as her third youngest opened his mouth and landed himself right in it. Her jaw dropped open and Anthony took the opportunity, laughing at his squirming brother, to nudge Kate upstairs just as his mother started giving out to Colin.

“They’re idiots,” Anthony said, rolling his eyes as they walked along the first floor’s maroon carpet towards her bedroom. His eyes anxiously flicked towards Kate, hoping they could ignore the awkward mention of condoms.

He was going to kill Colin later.

“Funny idiots,” Kate agreed, smiling at him as her eyes moved around the hallway and the painting and pictures on the walls. All of the siblings were on the first floor, except for Gregory and Hyacinth who were on the second floor with their mother.

“I’ll give you a tour later, let's just drop off your stuff first.” He opened the door to the guest room, that would someday be Gregory’s room-it was right opposite his bedroom. “Here we are. I’m just across the hall.”

“This place is incredible. It’s so beautiful,” Kate said, turning to him with a teasing smile. She dramatically bowed, her long dark hair flipping over her head and back as she stood up. “Lord Bridgerton.”

“Fuck right off,” Anthony said, collapsing on the bed and Kate joined him. The familiar memorizing scent of lilies and soap filled his nostrils. Kate had looked up their families on an ancestry website last year and had found out Anthony was from a long line of nobility and had called him Lord Bridgerton for a solid month.

God, he had missed her.

He turned to her, flexing his biceps as he stretched his stiff arms over his head. “Are you happy to be home?”

She nodded, her chest moving up and down slowly as she relaxed on the bed. “I loved being away, but it’s so nice to be back and to be home. Did you get my postcards?”

The last person he had gotten a postcard from had been his grandmother when he was younger until Kate. She’d sent him a few from around Europe, from Rome to Paris, and he kept them all in the drawer beside his bed. He’d started eagerly checking the postbox everytime post had come once she had started sending them. “I did. They were great. They’re in my room. Otherwise, Gregory or Hyacinth would find them and colour them in. I loved the Amsterdam one.”

“I thought you would. Oh! I got you presents,” Kate said gleefully, pulling neatly wrapped bundles out of her bag as she sat up on the bed and crossed her legs. “They’re not much, but I thought you might like them.”

“You didn’t need to get me anything,” Anthony said, completely stunned as he took the presents Kate eagerly handed him. She looked so excited and it made his stomach flutter uncomfortably.

It wasn’t butterflies. Anthony didn’t get butterflies. It was probably a digestion issue or something.

He unwrapped the first present, grinning at the perfectly neat wrapping. It was so Kate. Each corner was perfectly taped and folded properly. He unwrapped a small shot glass wrapped in bubble wrap.

“A shot glass, of course.”

He let out a low chuckle, “I wouldn’t expect anything less, Sheffield. Thank you, this is brilliant.”

The next present was a big box of foreign sweets and crisps, ones that reminded him of being on holiday. There was a mixture of haribos, chewy sweets from Spain and exotic crisp flavors that you could never get in England.

His mouth watered. He had an extreme sweet tooth and Kate was always pestering him to eat some fruit or vegetables. He’d smugly remind her he’d never had a cavity. “This is amazing. I’ll be hiding these from everyone or they’ll be gone in an hour.”

He unwrapped the next package which was an assortment of jams, of different colours and varieties.

She grinned as she pointed out the different flavors. “I thought you’d like them for when we go back to university. I know how much you love jam, I wouldn’t want you to starve. I got them in Normandy, at a farmer’s market. The pear one is unbelievable.”

Anthony had never been gifted in the kitchen. They’d been lucky to grow up with nannies and cooks, and both his parents had been talented in the kitchen-something that was not passed onto Anthony. Besides meals in the catering hall at university, Anthony had solely survived on toast with butter or jam before Kate took pity on him and started feeding him.

“This is the last and my favourite one.”

The package felt soft and he carefully unwrapped it, curiously pulling the little bag out of the paper. It was a brown leather case with a fine detail of stitching around the edge.

“It’s made out of Italian leather,” Kate explained, gesturing to the case. “It’s a case for your pocket watch, so you don’t break it. It can clip onto anything, so you’ll always have it.”

“Thank you,” He mumbled, looking oddly dazed. He reached into his pocket, slowly pulling out the silver chained pocket watch his father had passed onto him. It didn’t really make sense, having a pocket watch when watches and iPhones existed. It was old fashioned.

The watch had been passed through the Bridgertons for years and his father had loved it. He’d let Anthony play with it when he was younger until he had been given it on his eight birthday. It was one of the last things Anthony had of Edmund Bridgerton before he died.

He opened his mouth to say something, failing to find any words that could explain how grateful he was. The pocket watch slid into the case perfectly. “Kate. This is..this is amazing. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Kate said, smiling softly at him and lightly squeezing his arm. He was staring right into her soft brown eyes, full of warmth and kindness. She knew how much it meant to him and she had thought about him and got him this.

He wasn’t used to people thinking about him like that.

He felt something stirring inside of him, a tight feeling in his chest about to burst as he looked at her. She was looking right at him and he swore he saw her eyes flicker between his eyes and lips. “Kate-”

They both jumped startled as their eye contact broke, the moment fading, when there was a loud knock on the door, followed by a voice. “Anthony? Kate? Lunch is ready.”

They stood up slowly, Anthony sliding the protected pocket watch into his pocket and clipping it to the inside of his pocket’s material and headed to the door.

Benedict had been the one sent to fetch them, Colin was nowhere in sight. “Colin is trying to convince Mum to let him eat lunch. His comment didn’t go down well earlier and he’s apparently corrupting our younger siblings.”

Anthony let out a deep chuckle, turning to Kate with a smirk. “If you want to punish Colin, take away his food. He inhales anything in sight.”

Once they sat down for lunch, Kate was an immediate big hit with the Bridgertons. Hyacinth threw a fit until she was allowed to eat lunch on Anthony’s lap, quite suspicious about his new friend. Kate quickly got into her good graces when she put two carrot sticks in her mouth to look like a walrus, making walrus noises until Hyacinth laughed so hard she spat out some of her juice.

Daphne chats away to Kate about her plans to study architecture in Cambridge after her final year in school, which Anthony had spent the last few weeks helping her prepare for her applications and for her interviews. Daph announced she was pleased there was finally another female in the house to combat the massive levels of testosterone, as Eloise apparently didn’t count (who gives her the finger which their mother quickly scolds her for) and Frannie is always disappearing.

Anthony knows he shouldn’t have favourites. He loves all of his siblings, he really does-but Francesca is his favourite.

His brothers are his best friends, Daph is the person he shares a lot of the same hobbies with-riding, swimming and Eloise is the person he debates and watches documentaries with. At six and three, Gregory and Hyacinth are still babies. It’s different with them, they don’t remember their father. Anthony desperately tried to be that for them. He had to take care of them after their father died and Hyacinth was born a month after and their mother didn’t leave bed for weeks. Anthony is definitely their favourite sibling and it does wonders for his ego.

Francesca, however, is Anthony.

They both aren’t the loud ones-they leave that to Colin and Eloise. They’re not the artistic ones either-Daphne and Benedict were the ones who had art shows and were stars in their school plays.

Anthony is pretty sure Francesca is the only other sibling who will join the family business in the future. He can’t say for sure because Gregory and Hyacinth are so young, but he doesn’t doubt if for a second for Francesca. They read the newspaper most mornings together, they send each other articles and book recommendations when she’s at home and he’s at university. They’re both fiercely competitive and play on any sports team they can.

Frannie is very serious for a twelve year old with an incredible emotional intelligence, something Anthony was always told he was like, except for the emotional intelligence part-he’s been told he’s rather lacking in that area-and he knows she worries about him. Their father’s death had given him a responsibility that he didn’t want her to have. Francesca didn’t agree. She had been nine when he passed. Yet, she had always been at this side-helping with the babies, insisting he ate if he had forgotten and talking to Colin when he acted out in grief and fought against Anthony helping him.

They had all helped each other in their grief but Francesca was the one who saved Anthony from drowning.

They understood each other and Anthony wouldn’t have survived that first year after Edmund’s death without her. Their mother had been recovering from a traumatic birth and was still grieving, he had cancelled his gap year plans to take care of the family before university and was trying to stop them from falling apart.

Whenever she needed time alone, she disappeared in the house, usually to her bedroom, the library or the treehouse. Anthony had always retreated when he needed some time to breathe. Her spots had become Anthony’s spots, whether it was in Kent or in London, and they would sit in silence doing whatever.

Frannie turns to him one morning at breakfast, handing him the finance part of the paper and taking a sip of her orange juice. “I like her.”

“Kate?” The topic of their conversation was cooking pancakes with Eloise and Daphne, the three of them laughing about something. She catches his eye, grinning at him before turning to listen to what Eloise was saying.

“So do you,” Francesca said, as if it was a casual thing to say. “I think you should, you know. It would be nice, to be happy.”

Anthony actually stutters. “I-I am happy.”

Francesca sighs, shaking her head. “Of course you are. You have been since Kate arrived. I wonder why?”

Everyone else joins the table, cutting off their conversation as they hand out the pancakes. Anthony stares at Frannie in bewilderment before turning back to his food. If his internal battle and feelings were that obvious, he needed to work on being more subtle.

That summer is the best Anthony has ever had.

One warm August afternoon, Anthony takes Kate away from the house so he can get her to himself for a bit. He decides to take her horse riding to the nearby stables where they used to take lessons and go riding.

Anthony hadn’t ridden since the summer of his father’s death. They had spent every summer in Kent before their father died and before that, they had lived there until Anthony was five before permanently moving to London. Their father had always loved riding and had taken them out for rides and lessons, but their mother was never that fussed. Anthony had been shocked when his mother announced she wanted to go back to Aubrey Hall this summer, having been so insistent on staying in London for three years straight. He didn’t think she would ever be able to go back, but she seemed to be coping well so far or he just hadn’t seen her break down.

His siblings could just go to the stables if they wanted to go for a ride, but none of them were that fussed except for Daphne. She had always loved riding and she had competed in competitions for years before quitting to focus on school. It wasn’t the same after their father died, he had always been at every single one of her competitions. It had usually been the two of them and their father going out for rides together during the summer.

Anthony and Daphne had gone for daily rides since their arrival in Kent, deciding to continue the tradition they had always loved. Convincing Kate to, on the other hand, was not looking likely.

Kate was biting her bottom lip, looking at the horse in front of her. “I don’t know.”

“You’ll be fine.”

She was still hesitant. “Is there like a pony or something? Something smaller?”

“This is the smallest mare they have. She’s very calm. Eloise rode her last week and she’s never been fond of riding.”

“I don’t trust it,” Kate whispered, stepping closer to Anthony as if she was afraid the horse could hear her.

Anthony let out an amused, slightly frustrated huff. He was trying to be patient, but it was wearing thin. “It’s a horse, Kate.”

Kate turned to glare at him, narrowing her eyes. “Not all of us came out of the womb and onto a saddle, Anthony. Horses are large and intelligent creatures. What if it doesn’t want me to ride it and throws me off?

“Do you trust me?”

Kate sighed, rolling her eyes. “Yes,” She said, begrudgingly.

He extended his hand to her. “I promise you’re not going to fall off. I’m going to walk you around before we go for a ride. She’s a good horse, she won’t throw you off. Just get up and shut up.”

“Wow. You’re so kind. With an attitude like that, it’s a mystery to why you’re single.”

He mimicked her, and she mimicked him back, and they stood there mocking each other for a few minutes until she shoved him into the muck.

He wouldn’t talk to her for ten minutes, covered in dirt, and she nearly wet herself she was laughing so hard, and he eventually joined in.

He eventually helped her onto the horse, a gentle brown mare called Iris. Kate clutched at his hand as he helped her up and the electricity sent jolts down his spine. He walked her around for a bit before leading her for a ride across the fields, which Kate seemed to love.

They trotted for most of it and Kate made him take a picture with her with the blooming fields in the background to send to Mary and Edwina.

He definitely doesn’t send it to himself later and keep it on his phone.

It was one of the best afternoons of his life.

Things tended to be amazing whenever Kate was around.

It was becoming quite the problem, especially whenever she smiled or laughed, causing him to get this uncomfortable, warm feeling in his chest.

Kate even gets up with him in the mornings with the babies when he gave his Mum a break, watching cartoons with Greg and Hyacinth who wake up at illegal hours most mornings.

The rest of his siblings slowly join them, everyone tired and weary as they sit on the couch. The early morning silence slowly begins to fade with the chatter in the room.

“I love this.”

“Mm?” He hums, turning his attention away from the cartoon to look at Kate.

“How noisy it is here. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family so much. It could just get quiet at times, you know? I’ve always wanted a big family.”

“Oh,” says Kate softly, looking down at a sleeping Hyacinth against his chest. “She’s adorable.”

“Yeah,” said Anthony, smiling down at his sister. “Until she’s screaming her lungs out after you turn off Peppa Pig after four hours of watching it.”

Kate chuckled softly, “She's quite the character. She looks like you, you know.”

“You think?” said Anthony, his voice softer.

She nodded, smiling warmly at him. “You’re doing an amazing job, you know that right?”

It wasn’t anything like his father would be doing if he was still here. Anthony had made his peace with the fact he could never be the man his father was. However, hearing it from Kate made it feel like he was doing something right.

“Alright, Greg,” Anthony was kneeling down to his little brother’s height, holding him steady. “I’m going to take these stabilizers off, and you’re going to pedal towards Kate. Just like we practiced on Eloise’s old bike.”

Gregory blinked up at him, eyes wide and terrified. “What if I fall?”

“You get back up,” said Anthony, brushing his thumb over his cheek slowly. “Besides, I’m going to be right beside you. I’d never let you fall.”

After a few tries, a few near falls and some tears, Gregory successfully cycles around the front garden all by himself.

He swung Gregory around, grinning at her laughter as the rest of the Bridgertons clapped.

Kate was smiling at him, and the sun made her face glow, and he knew in that moment he would do anything just to see her smile like that at him for the rest of his life.

They sat around the fire on the patio later that evening, roasting marshmallows on metal rods.

“I’m sorry if this is boring,” said Anthony, biting his lip as he glanced around at his family. “I know it’s not the most exciting summer.”

“Are you kidding?” said Kate, grinning at him as she shifted Hyacinth on her lap. She had refused to sit anywhere else, and Kate didn’t seem to mind at all. Anthony was eternally grateful, as he didn’t have it in him to deal with a Hyacinth Bridgerton tantrum that evening. “This is amazing. Thank you for inviting me.”

She’s smiling at him again and it’s getting very hard to ignore the hammering inside of his chest.

“She fits in well, don’t you think?” Violet Bridgerton says to Anthony in the kitchen, one evening after dinner when they’re both cleaning up. “As if she belongs here.”

“Mum,” Anthony says sternly, in a tone usually reserved for a parent scolding a child, but he knew exactly what she was insinuating. His mother’s favourite hobby was meddling in his love life. “Don’t go there.”

He wouldn’t let himself go there.

He had been internally debating it with himself for a while now, but he always came to the same conclusion. His reputation wasn’t stellar. His relationships never worked out.

He wouldn’t risk losing Kate.

It almost felt normal, her teasing him over a girl-as if the last few years hadn’t happened. As if his father’s death and Anthony’s role in the family hadn’t drastically changed everything. As if his relationship with his mother wasn't broken.

“Where, dearest?” Violet said, smirking at her son before walking back into the dining room.

Anthony sighed, leaning against the counter. He pushed the thoughts spiraling in his head and his recurring dream to the back of his head.

The women in his life were going to kill him.

They get the train to London on a Saturday for their friend Rob’s 21st birthday, and they stay for the night. They spend the day wandering around London, grabbing lunch at Camden market before getting ready at his house.

Kate’s dress is black and clings to her curves in a way that forces Anthony to remember to breathe.

Rob’s parents are divorced and his dad spends a lot of his time abroad, so the party is in his dad’s empty townhouse in Kensington. The party is in full swing by the time they arrive and they’re both drunk and laughing within an hour. They haven’t seen their university friends in a few weeks and when Anna sees them, she screams and jumps into their arms.

They eventually get separated, Anthony plays beer pong with some of Rob’s school friends and Rob, Luke and Ethan from uni. His head is buzzing, he feels slightly dizzy but the party is packed, he’s having a good time and he keeps on drinking.

When he eventually spots Kate, she’s leaning against the wall of the kitchen talking to a tall guy. Anthony doesn’t recognize him and the feeling in his chest isn’t warm or fuzzy.

He can’t help himself. “Who is Kate talking to?”

Rob turns his head around, looking in the direction Anthony nodded. “Oh, that’s David. We’ve played football together a few times in uni. He’s decent.”

Anthony takes a long swig of his beer.

Kate eventually finds him outside with the rest of their friends, Anna beside her as they join the group. It had taken everything in him to not interrupt her conversation with David, or whatever the fuck his name was. Kate was far too good for him. He had distracted himself with a blonde girl called Ella instead, who had left the party over an hour ago.

It didn’t work.

“Hey,” said Kate, yawning softly as she climbed onto his lap, pulling his blanket over herself. Anthony tries to look unaffected, but his heart is hammering inside of his chest. She's all he can smell-lilies and soap. The scent is overwhelming. They were all sitting in camper chairs around a firepit, and they stayed there until 5am before Rob told people they could stay over in any bedroom that they wanted.

He carries a drunk Kate to bed, finding an empty bedroom and laying her carefully on the bed.

He takes off her heels, wipes her makeup carefully off with the wipes she had brought in her bag and he leaves a glass of water beside her bed. “G’night.”

“Where are you going?” Kate asked, frowning slightly as lifted her head off the pillow. She looked so adorable, her eyes half closed as she looked at him.

“I’m going to sleep on the sofa.”

“I’m pretty sure someone is having sex on the sofa. Just sleep here.” Kate mumbled, yanking at his shirt to get him onto the bed.

Anthony hesitated, biting his lip. This was definitely crossing a boundary. The rest of the rooms were taken, the couch was currently in use and he didn’t fancy sleeping on the floor. He also knew he wouldn’t sleep at all, knowing Kate was right beside him.

He convinces himself he’s staying to make sure she’s alright, in case she needs to get sick or needs something. Kate is already asleep by the time he climbs into bed, determined to stick to his side. He’s practically falling over the edge of the bed when he falls asleep.

They wake up in each other’s arms the next morning.

“Do you ever think about the future?” Anthony asks Kate one evening, after a long day of eating food in the living room and having a Friends marathon.

Kate’s lying on her back, attempting to throw popcorn in the air and catch it with her mouth. “My only plans are becoming a solicitor and getting a corgi.”

Anthony snorted. “I don’t get your obsession with those dogs.”

“Insult corgis and see how it works out for you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Is that a threat, Sheffield?”

“No, it’s a warning.”

They’re sitting on opposite ends of the long sofa. She kicks his foot, and he grabs her foot and pulls her towards him. He knows exactly what he’s going to do, and so does she-he ignores her protests.

“Anthony, I swear to god-”

He grabs her easily, leaning over her as he tickles her sides. She’s incredibly ticklish at the age of twenty one-and there’s a loud cough.

Anthony springs off Kate like a cat touching water.

“I just came to see if you guys wanted pizza,” Eloise says slowly, a mixture of amusement and shock plastered on her face. “We’re ordering some for dinner.”

“Pineapple, please.” Kate squeaks, avoiding Eloise’s gaze and instead focusing on the screen.

“Pepperoni,” Anthony says, trying to keep his facial expression impassive as he held his sister’s gaze. Eloise leaves after that, an amused hum leaving her lips before she wandered off.

They stay on opposite sides of the couch for the rest of the night.

They go for a swim in the lake the evening before Kate goes home. The sky looks like cotton candy, the sun setting in the distance and the warm air makes the cold lake bearable.

“Why do we have to swim in the lake when there’s a perfectly good pool?” Kate asked, glancing back at the house and back at the lake. “There’s nothing in it, is there?”

“Adventure, Katherine.” He took off his t-shirt, stepping into the lake before feeling his feet sink lower and eventually lose their grounding. “There isn’t anything. Come on.”

Kate hesitantly follows him in at a snail pace, which forces Anthony to stare at the water instead of her yellow bikini.

“What was that?” She squeaked, splashing the water as she jumped up in the air, feeling something brush against her feet. She grabbed him, launching herself into his arms.

“Don’t be such a baby,” He teased, trying desperately to ignore the fact she fit perfectly into his arms.

Kate always fit.

His hands were wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him. This was breaking every boundary and rule he had put in place, but he just couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He could feel her soft skin under his fingertips, drawing patterns against her skin.

He felt her body relax, but she didn’t let go of him. She looked at him, pouting slightly. “I’m not a baby.”

“Kate?”

“Mm?”

Their faces are very close.

He lets out a shaky breath. “I’m glad you came here.”

She blinks at him, nodding her head slowly as a small smile erupts on her lips. “Me too.”

He’s going to kiss her. He’s going to kiss her. There’s no way he can’t kiss her. He has to kiss her. He’s going to ki-

There was a scream, and both of their heads flicked towards the two children running towards them, Colin and Benedict behind them.

They quickly broke apart, Anthony swimming towards the edge of the lake in case Gregory or Hyacinth rushed in. He nodded at his brothers apologetic stares, who clearly hadn’t meant for their younger siblings to disturb Anthony and Kate.

He doesn’t kiss her.

“Thanks for having me.”

“Thanks for coming.”

They’re both standing on the train platform, Kate’s train pulled into the station a minute ago. She’s going back to Somerset for two weeks before university starts, and then they’ll be together again.

He tries not to look as disappointed as he feels.

“I’ll see you in two weeks?”

“Not if I see you first,” She said, grinning at him as she slowly pulled him into a hug. She can never reach his neck, so she wraps her arms around his waist instead and leans her head against his chest.

Anthony holds her tightly. Anthony had needed her here this summer. It had been their first time at Aubrey Hall since their father died. Kate had made it easier. She’d made it fun.

As her train pulls out of the station and a waving Kate through the window disappears, he can’t help the pang of regret he feels as he watches her go.

He can’t help but think of everything he should have said, but didn’t.

He has a bitter taste in his mouth for the rest of the day.

“I think everyone’s going to the pub in an hour. Do you want to go?”

They’re finally back for their final year of university, and they’re busier than ever. Before they know it, the leaves have fallen off the trees and the cool November weather has taken over Oxford. The workload, readings and assignments are piling up and they had spent the evening reviewing each other’s thesis proposals and giving feedback to each other.

Kate looks up from her laptop, typing for a few seconds before shaking her head. “I can’t. I have a meeting.”

Anthony looks up from his laptop, raising an eyebrow. “A meeting?”

Kate takes a deep breath, staring at Anthony with a “If I tell you this, you have to promise you won’t make fun of me.”

That catches Anthony’s full attention, “I promise.”

“It’s our last year here,” Kate begins, closing her laptop and standing up. “I want to make the most of it, get more involved. So, I’ve joined the botanist society.”

Anthony blinks. “The what?”

“It’s a science society, about gardening and plants. I always use to garden with dad. It’s actually really fun and interesting. We just drink and chat and they organize trips to museums and botanical gardens. There’s a trip to the Netherlands later just before Christmas, I’m going to go.”

His face softened. He knew what it was like, avoiding things if they reminded you of someone you lost or clinging to them for dear life. He could take the piss out of her, but he doesn’t. “I think it’s great. I didn’t know we had a botanist society.”

“David told me about it, actually.”

“David?” Anthony asks as if he doesn’t know, but he knew exactly who David was. He can hear his hammering pulse in his ears.

“I met him at Rob’s party. He’s in his final year of biology. He’s nice.” Anthony doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything. He just feels sick. Was David going to be there?

“That reminds me,” Anthony says, swiftly changing the subject before he said something stupid. “I got us tickets to the law ball. We should go together.”

Kate blinks at him through her reflection in the mirror. “Together?”

Anthony shrugs, blushing slightly at his impulsivity. “Everyone else is bringing dates. Anna and Luke are going as friends. We’re both single. Unless you’re bringing someone else?”

Kate shakes her head quickly and Anthony has to stop himself sighing in relief. “No, no. That’s a great idea. I’d love to.”

It was getting extremely difficult to fight his feelings.

Kate looked beautiful.

He can’t stop the words coming out of his mouth and tries to hold in his grin when Kate blushes and rolls her eyes at him.

It’s the night of the Law Ball and their entire friend group is having pre-drinks in the common room before they headed to the college where the ball was being held.

Kate’s wearing a long lavender dress, with a V-neck cut and straps that hang loosely on her shoulders. Her hair is long and wavy down her back and he has to count slowly in his head to stop himself from staring at her.

Anthony didn’t like taking pictures but if they involved wrapping his hand around her waist, pulling her close to him-he’d never complain again taking them for the rest of his life.

Anna insists on getting multiple shots of them together, which takes a few minutes. Anthony swore he saw her wink at him at one point or he was just drunker than he thought.

The ball is brilliant, their entire friend group sits at the same table and he doesn’t remember the last time he laughed so much. They’re all drunk and sloppy, confessing their love for each other and how much they’ll miss each other when they graduate. Anthony spins Kate around the dancefloor and her arms are around his neck, and he wants to stay in that moment forever.

That voice rings in his head.

Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her.

He doesn't kiss her.

“I’ll see you when you get back.”

It was around 4am when they all walked back to their rooms, after a quick stop at McDonalds for some food. Kate had a flight in about five hours and Anthony left their friends to walk her to their room.

Kate’s smile is playful as she hands him back his suit jacket . “Not if I see you first.”

Kate flies to the Netherlands with the botanist society the next morning and Anthony goes home to London. He desperately needed a distraction and his family were the perfect fit. He brought Gregory to football, Hyacinth to swimming and spent the night with all of them while their mother went out with some of her friends.

He couldn’t focus on any of his readings for his lectures.

He couldn't stop thinking about her.

Nothing could distract him from his thoughts. The more he thought about her, the more he realized what an idiot he’d been.

He should have kissed her. He should have kissed at the ball, he should have kissed her in Kent, there were a thousand different times he should have kissed her.

It suddenly clicked. He couldn’t deny it anymore. The final piece of the puzzle.

He was in love with Kate Sheffield.

After the long weekend, he arrived in Oxford after Kate did. He had spent the day having a Sunday roast with his family before driving back to university.

His hands were shaking as he heard of his phone buzz, seeing Kate’s name appearing on his screen.

Kate: i’m back! Where are you?

Anthony: Just parked. Where are you? I’ll come to you

Kate: i’m at the pub! come!

He was going to tell her.

He had to tell her how he felt.

They could make it work.

They had wasted nearly three years not being together.

He didn’t bother going back to his room as he sprinted to their local pub, which was only a five minute walk from their accommodation.

It wasn’t just him. He was sure of it. Right? They had a moment over the summer at Aubrey Hall. There had been so many moments over the years. Kate had always been there for him. They had nearly kissed, they would have kissed if he hadn’t been interrupted. His younger siblings had asked if Kate was coming to visit soon while he went home over the weekend. His family loved her.

He lo-

“Anthony!”

His head flicked around the pub, focusing on the voice that called his name. It belonged to Anna, who was sitting at a table with Rob and Luke. He rushed towards them.

“Hey. Have you seen Kate?”

“She’s busy,” said Anna, the frown on her face evident as she nodded her head towards the bar. Anthony raised a curious eyebrow at her expression before turning around to follow her nod.

Kate was standing with her arms around David, who leans down and kisses her.

He felt something inside of him break.

Kate’s face lights up when she spots him and Anthony manages a smile, ignoring the pain in his chest.

“Anthony!” Kate said, walking towards him with a grin as she wrapped her arms around him to pull him in for a hug. “This is David.”

“I really like him. Please be nice,” Kate whispered in his ear, smiling up at him before taking a step back.

Kate looked so happy.

David grins at Anthony, placing two pints on the table before extending his hand. “Hey mate, nice to meet you.”

He had to remind himself, having Kate was better than not having her at all.

He couldn’t be a dick. He couldn’t push her away.

He swallows the vile taste in his mouth, mustering a smile as he shook his hand. “Hi. Nice to meet you. So, how was the trip?”

He sits there and he listens as they talk about their trip. David is a biologist.

It becomes clear quite quickly David is everything Anthony isn’t.

Anthony hated flowers. Flowers and plants usually meant bees.

“I’ll be right back,” Anthony said, standing up and grabbing his coat as he walked out of the pub. He walks around the side, where there’s no smokers or people chatting. He leans his head against the brick wall and tries to breathe.

He reaches for his phone, sending a text Benedict. He needed his brother. He needs someone. He couldn’t have Kate. His chest was so tight, he was finding is hard to breathe.

“I was wondering where you got off to.”

Anthony’s head snapped up as he saw Kate standing a few inches from him, looking at him curiously. He tries to control his breathing. She looks concerned, walking towards him. “Is everything okay?”

Anthony nodded, trying to relax and he stood up straighter. “Long day with the family. I’m just exhausted.”

He didn’t want to ask, but he did. He had to. “So, how did you two happen?”

The soft smile that breaks out on her face nearly destroys him, but he tries to smile back. “We met at the party, but I didn’t think anything would actually happen. We’ve seen each other at events and meetings for the past few weeks. He’s nice, you know? We have a lot in common. He told me he liked me during the trip and asked me to go to dinner. He bought me flowers. It was sweet.”

Kate had once told Anthony that she was the only person to ever buy her flowers. He had sent them to her every birthday and Christmas since then.

Now he wasn’t.

That was another thing David had taken from him.

“Do you like him?” Kate asked, taking a sip of her glass of water. She looks hesitant as she asks the question and Anthony knows he has to be careful. He doesn’t want to hurt her, none of this is her fault.

He had been wrong about everything.

No. “I suppose. I don’t really know him.”

“Anthony.”

“He seems nice.”

“Why do I bother asking?” Kate teased, taking a sip of her drink. “You don’t like anyone.”

Anthony didn’t miss a beat. “I like you.”

Anthony wanted to bitterly laugh at the irony of it all, but he stopped himself. This wasn’t about him.

Kate rolled her eyes. “I like you too. Seriously, though. It’s important to me that you like him.”

He pretends to look at the group of people ahead of them, just to avoid looking at her. “I want you to be happy. If he makes you happy, that’s all that matters.”

Even if it makes him feel like this.

Kate hesitates, before giving him an affirming nod. “I am.”

He swallows hard. “Good.”

She leans her head against his shoulder, and they stand there in silence. It’s not uncomfortable, it’s just silence.

“We’ll always be friends, right?” Kate breaks it eventually, shaking her head. “God, I sound so childish. I just mean-we’re graduating soon. I know we’re both moving to London. I just-I don’t want us to drift apart.”

Anthony swallows his feelings and shakes his head, smiling playfully at her. “Do you think you can get rid of me, Sheffield?”

“Never, Bridgerton,” She said, laughing at him. It was ridiculous how her smile and laugh made him feel so light and free. He didn’t have the right to feel like that with her. Not like this. “You’re stuck with me.”

“Let's go back inside.”

He can’t sit in there for the next hour and watch them. The thought alone makes him nauseous. “I’m going to head back. I’m shattered and I have some reading to do for the seminar tomorrow.”

Kate looks slightly disappointed, but she musters a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” They walked to the font of the pub and he smiled as she walked in, turning around to shoot him a smile over her shoulder as she walked in.

He watched her through the window, joining the table where their friends sat. He watched David’s arm wrap around her shoulders and Kate’s head fall back as she laughed at something he whispered into her ear.

She looked happy.

It isn’t because of him.

That’s a particularly hard pill to swallow.

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sh1tbird-shantytown · 4 years ago

Note

Steve goes home to a cold, empty building and ponders the family photographs that pretend at a life that doesn't exist.

i have a few i could answer before this, out of curtesy. but i had plans for this instantly. heheheheheh.

—

it hadn’t been a special day, so he didn’t really think about it. the empty ‘home.’

it was later at night due to dealing with dustin wanting to go too the arcade. and it was friday so they weren’t in a rush. not that he would anyway, they deserved as much childhood fun as they could get. he wouldn’t take those moments away. couldn’t.

he locked the door behind him. remembered distantly when tommy once asked why he did. no one else around town would since it was so quiet. tommy had asked if it was rich person thing. he hadn’t answered him, didn’t say it was because he was alone and was his only form of defense. so a lock couldn’t hurt to use.

he turned the lights on as he went, knew he’d be back down after changing. he slept in the living room most nights. had to have the television running just for some background noise to fall asleep. it was a little funny, living in such a quiet place when he was built more for a more urban environment.

almost like he was built just for his city living parents. away constantly and barely offering a scrap from their hearts. ironic.

he sighed to himself as he climbed the stairs, legs still a little stiff from being in the car for so long. he tripped on the carpet and reached out to the wall to find balance. which he did find but a frame dropped face down by his right foot.

the frame was unfamiliar but the picture was of a slice of his family at his fifth birthday. he hadn’t seen any of them for years.

his aunt carla, red headed and the brightest person he’d ever known. she was a fashion designer, his mother would speak jealously of her. then his uncle ben, a stout, bearded man who ran an auto shop but didn’t work in it himself. annie, the little girl three years younger than himself. he’d read about her in a magazine, she’d won some skater medal and was training for the olympics already. quite the spitfire apparently. he ran his thumb over the family so similar, yet so different from his own.

to think he could simply find the phone book and give them all a ring. not that they’d have time to entertain him.

he looked to the other side, grandma rose and grandpa killian. two close and personal souls. he’d always imagined, while he heard his mama and papa fighting, that they’d eventually turn out to be as close and loving as their elders. grandma was holding his hand.

his own father, a tall and broad man similar to steve’s figure now, stood behind them all with an almost smile. and his mother, perfect bun curled on her head and warm eyes crinkled in delight as she held steve’s shoulders from behind.

when she used to hug him. back then. instead of looking at him like a lost prize now. he hugged the rectangle to his chest and kept hold of it. couldn’t tell if his chest felt lighter or denser.

the rest were simply gazed at. he could barely recognize the people captured in the majority. he bit the inside of his mouth at the realization. he didn’t even know his own family. when did he give up? when had he become just like his parents?

he noticed another one with just himself and a baby. a little bundle of blankets with a closed up face showing. all held in his scraggly, eight year old arms. he found he couldn’t register the name. so he took it of the wall and turned it around. used his bitten off fingernails to pry the back open and off the get the paper out.

“steven + cousin vincent 1984”

he marveled at the sight once he turned it back over. he didn’t even ponder on the fact that the moment taken in his hand was probably the only time he’d seen the kid.

“cousin vincent,” he mumbled to himself and shook his head, “wonder where you are nowadays.” he thought hard about all his aunts and uncles. who he could he a part of.

maybe auntie may, the only blonde in the family. she was a hostess at a fancy restaurant and lived in vancouver last he knew. the kid looked like her. maybe. her face was blurred in his memories. their noses sorta matched though.

he found a small one near the end of the hallway. one he’d never even noticed before. couldn’t fathom how.

his mother smiling fondly at the other in her white lace dress. her wedding dress. she was beautiful and happy. put together in every way. her arms were draped over his father’s shoulders. his laughing father. in a tuxedo and his hair in disarray. both of them so different from who they are now. eyes full and wrinkled in mirth.

his eyes pricked then. what had happened to them all? one decade they were so united. and presently they couldn’t be more apart. his father held a permanent scowl and his own mother held a dullness in her soul now.

he couldn’t help but decide that they were defective. they started off perfect. but they lost everything somewhere along the way.

it was too late for steve to go on another one of his childhood adventures to find it.

he slid down to the carpet, ignored it when his feet numbed.

he was too late.

he looked back to the stairway and faintly stared at the door. begging all the divine beings to allow him one wish.

“send someone to me,” he whispered to the empty air. “i don’t want to be alone anymore,” he whined and forced himself up. he ran to his room and slammed the door.

the sound echoed shortly through the house and muffled bellows took over instead.

always open :)

#steve harrington #stranger things #angst #steve harrington’s parents #thanks for the ask!#anon ask #this one was FUN #in the saddest way

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lov3nerdstuff · 4 years ago

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.12}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.4k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

The time before the actual welcoming feast seemed to stretch on forever this year. The sorting took longer than usual, or at least it felt like that, and Dumbledore's speech seemed even more repetitive and boring than it always had. Robin guessed that it was the 48 hours without a meal that had her desperately looking forward to the beginning of the feast, and seeing as nobody else seemed to be bothered by how long it all was taking, she probably was right to think so.

In her impatience, she started fiddling with whatever cutlery she had within her reach on the table, tapping her feet, nibbling on her bottom lip… until the people around her were starting to be seriously irritated by her behavior, upon which she forced herself to stop. Instead, she went for her usual inspection of the staff at the head table. What was sitting up there like? Did they ever feel observed, or were they used to it from all the time they got stared at in class? She should ask about it, at some point.

Other than a few more wrinkles here and some new robes there, things really hadn't changed; they never did. While Dumbledore was speaking in the front, the teachers behind him were unsurprisingly not paying all too much attention. Sure, they all made the impression to be listening, but when Robin followed the line of faces, she could see Sprout quietly chatting with Hooch, Trelawney taking more interest in her goblet than in her colleagues, Hagrid and Flitwick having a very subtle argument about something… and then there was McGonagall, talking to Snape as if there wasn't even a speech she ought to be listening to. Robin inevitably had to smile when she saw the two; McGonagall being very much focused on whatever she was saying, while Snape was listening carefully but pretended to be entirely uninterested at the same time. Robin realized that he might very well do that to everyone who tried to talk to him about anything of minor importance. Then again… he was always listening to whatever she was rambling about, without a single spark of indifference. The thought made her smile even more. Perhaps he simply didn't bother with the facades around her anymore because she knew better anyway.

When the meal finally started, Robin was more than happy to indulge in the different kinds of food, and somehow everything tasted better than she remembered it to. But after weeks of living off whatever was cheapest in the store that day, a fully cooked meal like this was the most luxurious thing she could think of in the first place.

"I don't think I've ever seen you enjoying your food that much." Jorien remarked after a while, and Robin had to fight the embarrassment that wanted to paint her face.

"Yeah, didn't you get any breakfast at home?" Cas chuckled while she again picked the mushrooms out of her mixed vegetables and moved them over to Robin's plate. Some things just never changed.

"Good question, you've certainly lost some weight over the weeks of summer…" Jorien added, and both girls looked at Robin expectantly for an answer.

"I had quite a bit of exercise during the holidays, more than I usually get. Running through nature all day, every day, is a workout in itself. Perhaps that's where the weight went." She only shrugged in return, putting it off as nothing like she did so often when she didn't want the girls to know the truth. "I'm sure I'll be back to normal in no time now that we're back at school."

"You should eat dessert, too, then. Your robes look too loose like that, the fit needs some curve!" Cas replied in an expert manner, and Jorien only snorted while rolling her eyes. Robin however didn't mind, and when the time came, she had dessert indeed.

When the feast was over at last and the students started filing out of the hall to head to their common rooms, the three girls were among the very last to leave, as were Simon and his friends. The group split up into three segments in the entrance hall, Cas and Jorien heading to the Slytherin common room and the Ravenclaw boys to their own, while Robin wanted to tag along with her roommates for the way down to the office. But she didn't even get to the staircase before she was whisked away from the two girls –who were accustomed to her sudden disappearances by now– and she found herself in a gloomy ground-level hallway she hadn't even known existed up to this point, with a racing heart that only changed the reason for its speeding but not its pace itself when her eyes fell onto Snape two steps away now. Bloody hell… he shouldn't do things like this if he didn't want her to just lose it at some point.

"Was that really necessary?" She huffed in amusement, and couldn't help smiling up at him anyway. "I was just on my way down to the office to find you!"

"That is precisely why it was necessary." He replied calmly, with the barest hint of a not-smirk. "I have to patrol the castle grounds tonight, Minerva asked me to switch places with her. So no sitting in the office for now."

"Lovely." Robin sighed under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned back against the cold stone wall behind her. "And here I was, thinking that I would finally get to have coffee with you again after a week of being alone."

"We still can, after patrolling. Are you accompanying me like always?"

"Obviously." She gave him a small smirk once more, leaning her head to the side. "Are you making me coffee afterwards as a fair compensation like always?"

"Obviously." He rolled his eyes in feigned annoyance, which only made Robin grin more. "I must admit, a week without your insufferable self really turned out to be quite dreadful after all."

"Good. I missed you too."

"Is my house still standing?"

"Would it annoy you more if I said yes or no?" She asked innocently, rising her eyebrows once more, and her heart skipped a beat when he actually smirked for real in return. Always a delight to see, no matter how frequently it happened by now when they were alone.

They started sauntering through the hallways then, like they had done in the past school year as well, in search for students breaking curfew or any other inconveniences they could only hope not to encounter. Patrolling really was something Robin couldn't help but wonder about. Usually it meant for one professor to wander the castle alone, in the dark, without anything to do other than trying to make the night pass by as soon as possible. How dreadfully boring that must be; she was glad that she could make the dull task a little better for Snape by joining him in the misery of it at least. That way, they at least could chat and joke and bicker like always, only a bit more quietly. The portraits still grumbled at them from time to time, which however they simply ignored as they moved along. After an hour, they had caught up on the week's few events on either end, and Snape was quite obviously annoyed by the fact that Robin had spent two days without a meal. It took her a good twenty minutes to convince him that it was fine, and even more importantly, that it was in the past now and thus didn't matter anymore. Still, he seemed to be rather upset with himself about the issue, but Robin knew better than to push him, so she merely changed the topic, and eventually they were back to the usual. Other than that the night was considerably eventless.

It was only when they were passing through an almost empty sixth floor hallway when Robin picked up on a noise to her right, thus stopped walking abruptly and listened instead. Snape followed the example an instant later, and they stood in the middle of the hallway for a moment to listen to the silence, until the odd noises picked up again, from behind an inconspicuous door on the wall to their right a bit further down the hallway.

"Isn't that… just a broom closet?" Robin asked in an irritated whisper, frowning to herself first and then at Snape, until her brain made sense of the circumstances and she felt the heat creeping up her neck. "I, uh… I don't think I want to open that door."

"Neither do I." He grumbled in return, glaring at the door as if it would change anything about the awkward situation. "But as it happens to be, I will have to and you do not. So go ahead and spare yourself the embarrassment if you wish to."

"Nonsense. I'm not letting you suffer alone." She was quick to reply, then made the final few steps to stand with her back against the wall across from the door, and the very second Snape had caught up with her, she opened it with a wordless spell. It was ironic, really, that she didn't mind doing uncomfortable things in his place for the sake of sparing him from it.

The door flew open with a start, two startled yelps could be heard, and Robin's eyes fell onto two kids she had never seen before, which meant they had to be in the years below. They were still mostly dressed, it seems, and she was honestly glad for that at least. No need to make things even more awkward for anyone involved. Both the boy and the girl, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff respectively, quickly snapped out of their shock and straightened their clothing before trying to stammer out poor excuses for what they were doing in a broom closet at this time of night. Honestly, Robin just wanted to snort at their words and actions every other second, but she kept a perfect straight face of neutrality as always while Snape held his usual speech about rule-breaking and improper behavior that she had been a witness of often enough at this point. Never on the receiving end, obviously, but they had encountered enough students out of bed during their patrols that by now she could almost mouth along with his words. She only started actually listening again when Snape turned towards her.

"Could you accompany Miss Parlow to Professor Sprout's office?" He asked neutrally, but without the scowl he had directed at the two students a mere moment before. "I will see to it that Mister Sterling finds his way to Professor Flitwick."

"Yes, of course." Robin found herself replying before she thought, and only once she had agreed so easily, she thought that he had never asked her to do this before. It definitely was an act of trust rather than a burden, she knew that, and that's why she was all the more determined to see even this easy task through.

"Who exactly are you anyway?" The Hufflepuff girl eventually asked, as Robin led her through a few more empty hallways. "No offense, but you look like a fifth year, maximum. Why on earth are YOU escorting ME?"

"That isn't of your concern." Robin replied indifferently, and she was glad that she had decided to take a shortcut to Sprout's office. Perhaps she would ask Simon about the girl, they obviously were in the same grade.

"And why on earth would you wander around with Snape at this time, or at any time really? Is this your detention or something?" The girl asked on, and Robin sent her a glare that shut her up instead of answering the questions.

A few minutes later they reached the herbology professor's office, and Robin knocked three times, then waited while the girl by her side grew more and more nervous. When Sprout opened the door at last, Robin gave her a polite smile, then explained the situation shortly and to the point upon which the girl was ushered into the office.

"Thank you, Robin, I will take care of the issue from here right away." Sprout gave her a smile in return at last, while the girl in the office behind her now looked positively startled. "Tell Severus my thanks too, will you?"

"Wait, YOU are Robin? The girl who everyone's been talking about for years?" The girl in the office asked incredulously a second later, and finally she just seemed absolutely horrified. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry about what I said! Please forget I ever said anything at all, I honestly didn't mean to upset you!"

"Seems like you have inherited some of Severus' reputation after all, huh?" Sprout snickered quietly, and Robin almost had to smirk at her words in return.

"Actually, I believe that this was mostly my own doing." She replied under her breath. "Ever since that incident in my fourth year, people have been weary of me, and as it seems, rumours and legend grow stronger over time. I doubt that any of the lower years even knows what it all is about anymore, but that doesn't stop them from believing in my reputation."

"Take it as a gift, dear. It is hard to come by their respect in any way, especially when you're that young yourself." Sprout sighed quietly, then gave Robin another encouraging smile. "Well, anyway, I hope you two have a good night!"

"Likewise, thank you." Robin returned, and only when Sprout shut the door behind herself, leaving Robin alone in the hallway, she frowned at the herbology teacher's words for a moment before finally making her way back through the hallways to where she would meet Snape in the ground-level hallway they had started out in.

But again, Robin didn't get that far; Somehow, people seemed to take joy in disrupting her plans today, and it left her feeling less in control than she would've liked. This time, how could it be any different, it was Morgan who stepped into her way out of nowhere.

"Miss Mitchell, what a delight to have you back at last. For the new term, of course." He smiled at her brightly, and the hairs in Robin's neck stood on high alert in an instant.

"Professor…" She greeted him politely, but when she tried to walk around him while keeping her head low like she ought to, he blocked her way again, this time getting way too close for comfort.

"And where would we be headed?" He inquired in a bright tone as he moved in even closer, making Robin back up until her back hit the wall. Well… damnit.

"I was just on my way back from Professor Sprout's office." She replied truthfully but quietly, in an attempt to keep her facade up and play the submissive little girl. The act still made her feel sick, but she hadn't forgotten their encounter at the ball; it was very much necessary to refrain from fighting back, and she had done a fairly good job at it ever since adoption this strategy.

"I see." He sighed softly, but still refused to back up even a step. He clearly didn't mind invading her personal space, which became all the more obvious when he traced a single finger along her collarbone and down her shoulder. Robin would've very much liked to break his arm for doing that, but such a behaviour unfortunately wouldn't count as laying low. So she only stared at the ground a few steps behind him and tried not to break her act while he spoke. "After making it to honours in herbology and even giving a lecture in front of renowned professionals in the field, I'm sure you can teach Pomona one thing or two…"

"You… you know about the lecture?"

"It was in the news, darling." He purred with a sickening smile. "I still have the article in my rooms… And the picture, of course."

The thought that Morgan had kept a picture of her made Robin feel even more sour than the situation did anyway, and she honestly just wanted to hex him further down the hallway with a single spell and then dash off like her body and mind were telling her to. But that would count as attacking a teacher, and without any witnesses or proof of her story, she would always end up on the losing end of that scenario. Whatever she did, people would believe Morgan's version of it more than hers, more than the truth.

"You have lost some weight since the picture was taken…" He finally spoke on, in a nonchalant tone that still had a cutting edge to it, and at last he removed his hand from her arm. "Say, doesn't Severus feed his little pet enough?"

A cold shudder ran down Robin's spine, at the same time as her stomach churned and her heart stopped for a moment, then started racing. She felt sick now indeed, scared and sick and far too close to panicking. Morgan was obviously playing with her, trying to get a reaction… but she wouldn't give him one. At least not the one she wanted to give, which was precisely the one he wanted to see.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She breathed in sincere fear, which was working in her favor for once. Why cover up something that was helping the act?

"Oh, I'm sure you do." He smiled at her in a mixture of humour and some twisted kind of adoration. "What do you get out of it, huh?"

"I have no idea what you're implying, but whatever it is, you're absolutely wrong. Sir."

"I mean, Miss Mitchell, that he gets a beautiful and spectacularly talented woman all to himself, devoted as you clearly are. But what do you get from him in return?"

"You're wrong…" Robin croaked out in a whisper, but she couldn't even think of anything else to say to defend herself without starting a war right here, right now.

"Don't tell me I wouldn't find his fingerprints on your skin if I were to take a look… Don't tell me you don't want him to save you right now." He hissed, and his hand was back on Robin's shoulder, squeezing painfully like he had all this time ago down by the forest. She winced involuntarily, and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment to keep the gathering tears from spilling over. Perhaps it wasn't so difficult to play scared after all… not when she really was terrified out of her mind for real.

"Let go of me. Please." She tried to get out as calmly as she could, but her shoulder was hurting enough to make her grit her teeth. The pain didn't suffice however for her to miss how his other hand traced her collarbone once again, only to move towards her neck this time. Her urge to fight back grew to the unbearable, and she had to ball up a bunch of fabric of her robes in each hand to keep them at her sides. "You have no right to touch me, nor to threaten me. So, Let. Me. Go."

"You were supposed to be mine, you know…" He sighed sadly, and his fingers traced down Robin's neck, following the thin silver chain of her necklace across her chest to the point where it ran beneath her blouse. Then he tugged the chain up until he held the locket between his fingertips. "It was supposed to be you and I until the end. But Severus just had to get in the way, didn't he? I shall make sure he sees the error in claiming what is mine."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Robin's emotions were finally gaining the upper hand, and her voice shook with anger and fear alike. "But if you try to harm him in any way, I shall make sure that I will be the very end of you."

"Ah, there you finally are again, my dear… I have missed you." Morgan held her gaze with a smirk for a moment, then his eyes traveled down to the locket and inevitably also to her cleavage. "So fierce… So full of passion." With a start he yanked on the necklace, and the thin chain bit deeply into Robin's neck before coming undone.

Damnit, her act was blown, her neck hurting and her shoulder was still trapped in his punishing grip. Robin had given him exactly what he wanted, she knew that, but it was too late to change that now. Even her facades had a breaking point, and Morgan had found it at last. Yet, he still kept her pressed into the wall by her shoulder as he inspected the locket in his hand curiously for a moment, then looked back up at her with a sneer.

"I'm sure you won't mind if I keep this for a while, will you? As a reminder of what ought to inevitably be…"

"Fuck off." Robin hissed in return, dropping every hint of submission to glare up at him in pure hostility. "If you truly believe yourself to be entitled to me in some sickening way, you're even more eaten up by insanity than I thought."

"Insanity is such a vile word, darling… I am dedicated, just like you are. We have more in common than you think."

"You're nothing like me."

"No, I'm certainly not." Morgan chuckled softly and took the last step closer to press Robin into the wall with his own body now. "But that doesn't mean we have nothing in common."

"Get away from me right now or you will regret it." Robin said coldly, and finally released the balled up fabric from her hands. Witnesses or not, she would rather get expelled for attacking a teacher than letting herself be assaulted like this.

"Oh please…" Morgan scoffed in a dismissive tone, and after slipping the necklace into the pockets of his robes, he placed his now free hand against the wall next to Robin's head. "I'm not scared of Severus. And I'm certainly not scared of you."

"You should be." Robin stated under her breath, then focused her entire energy and willpower into a wordless spell that had Morgan flying through the hallway indeed, a good twenty feet even, before he came crashing down on the ground with a gruesome cracking sound.

For a moment he merely groaned and hardly even moved, but Robin still drew her wand from her sleeve and pointed it at the professor in determination to do whatever was necessary to defend herself. No matter what he was about to do now, she wouldn't let him catch her off guard. Not again. But she also wouldn't be the one to attack, not even when he deserved it quite so much at this point. But to her surprise, Morgan simply sat up after a while, hissing in pain, but with the biggest smile on his face.

"This should suffice to get you expelled." He chuckled to himself, overly happy at the prospect, so much so that he simply wouldn't stop grinning.

If anything, this proved Robin right in her assumption that he had been trying to coax such a reaction from her. But then again, she was absolutely certain that his behavior, his words and actions, hadn't been just for show. He wouldn't have bothered to keep her locket if it had been, he merely could've destroyed it or tossed it aside. But he wanted a trophy, and he wanted HER, that much she was certain of now. Only didn't she know what he wanted her for, or why. He certainly despised her, he had absolutely hated her for all these long years, and yet, now, he still wanted her in some twisted way… Robin didn't understand. Not even nearly, not when his behaviour was so different all of a sudden, and yet so very in line with everything that had been in the years before. No, Robin didn't understand at all. But when Morgan scrambled to his feet and limped back towards her, she didn't get the time to think about it any longer.

"A broken bone or two are quite the lovely evidence you presented me with. I shall thank you, my dear." He smiled at her sweetly once more, but stopped a few steps away now that Robin kept her wand pointed at him and bowed ridiculously low before her. How could anyone be like that?! She didn't understand, none of it, but Morgan didn't cease to scare her beyond reason anyhow.

Robin was just about to reply when she heard footsteps approaching quickly from her left, and Morgan seemed to notice them too, for he turned to look right into that direction as well. Three seconds later, Professor McGonagall stepped into the dim light of the few candles that lit up the partial crossing Robin and Morgan were standing in the middle of.

"Oh, Minerva!" Morgan went straight at it, his smile suddenly gone and replaced by a brilliantly feigned pain stricken expression. "Thank God you are here… You have to stop her! I… I think she broke my leg, perhaps my wrist as well, when… when she attacked me!"

McGonagall inspected the scene with wary eyes, taking in Robin's unfaltering grip on her wand that she still kept pointed at Morgan, then her colleague's pity-evoking appearance and pleading eyes. Robin knew that it looked beyond bad for her; what an ironic repetition of the event that had started it all six years ago. The same people, the same situation overall. Morgan was making Robin the villain of his story, himself the obvious victim, and McGonagall had no clue about what had really happened, but she was made to be his judge either way. But honestly, Robin didn't have it in her to defend herself like a bloody child caught in the act anymore. If she was asked for her version of events she would gladly provide it, but she wouldn't try to change opinions that were already forged in stone. If this would mark her fall from grace, she would at least fall with some last scraps of dignity.

______________________________

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sayonarasanity · 4 years ago

Text

Reverberation

Chapter IV

link to AO3

Chapter 1 - 2 - 3

Hideous. It was the most hideous thing she had ever seen.

Hanji observed her reflection in the mirror, with her mouth twisted in disgust, each and every hair on her body standing on end. Her hair fell down from one shoulder as a short braid, its tip barely reaching the slightly visible bump on her chest under the school uniform.

“Disgusting,” she commented.

“You look beautiful,” her mother exclaimed, wiping the imaginary tear from under her eye. Hanji sent her a very Levi Ackerman signatured gaze from the mirror. “I hate it.”

Her mother approached her from behind. She was a little shorter than Hanji, her head merely reached her neck. The older woman put her hands on her shoulder and caressed gently.

Then, getting her mouth closer to her ear, she whispered, “You lost the bet, honey.”

That she had. Cold-bloodedly and ruthlessly lost a bet which should’ve been the last thing she would agree to let alone losing it in the first place. Never again would she challenge the instincts of her mother while watching a TV series and guessing whether the main character would live or die.

Worst, and biggest mistake of her life.

“Mom,” she whined, losing every drop of dignity she had with playing the emotional blackmail card. “Please. At least, don’t make me do this on the first day of high school.”

“Rules are rules,” her mother said, ignoring her entreaty then proceeded to fold the clothes piled on top of her bed. “And since when do you care about what people think about you?”

“It’s not that,” she sighed. “I just don’t feel like myself like this.” She pulled at her hair, wrinkling her face.

“You’re not a kid anymore, Hanji.” She walked to her closet and put the folded clothes inside one of the drawers. “Bear it for one day.”

“But I don’t want to.” She groaned, covering her face with her hands and lying her head backwards.

Hanji felt her mother come close, then her hands cleared the dust on her shoulders and fixed her hair. “Have a nice day at school.”

Hanji let out a frustrated moan which was very successfully brushed off by her mother.

“Morning,” she muttered insipidly while she entered the kitchen. A bowl of cereal was ready for her already and she poured milk inside of it as she sat down on one of the chairs.

“Morning, honey,” her father responded. Hanji noticed that his voice had faded towards the end. “Umm, you look, uh, nice.”

“Don’t,” she warned, her mouth full and directed her spoon threateningly towards her father. “Dad, don’t say another word.”

Her father’s face was very red as he obviously held back his laughter. He coughed into his hand and cleared his throat, nodding. “Yes, of course, of course.”

Just then, her phone vibrated with a text message. She didn’t need to look to know who it was from. “I’m leaving.”

“You’re not really mad at me, are you?” Her father asked as she got up from her seat and dropped her bag on her shoulder.

“No, dad, of course, I’m not.” She rolled her eyes and waved. “See you.”

Levi was waiting in front of the house, his back facing her. When he heard the sound of the door closing, he turned around.

And he froze.

“Levi, listen to me very carefully,” Hanji started calmly, while Levi stood as rigid as a stalactite. “If you so much as breathe I swear I’ll chase you to the school.”

Levi looked her over, with his customary, blank gaze which was almost impossible to read. Yet, Hanji knew him well, maybe better than he knew himself and she also knew that he was giving one of the biggest wars inside of himself to not give up and laugh at her face.

However, Levi Ackerman was not one to laugh. He had other ways to show his belittlement and mocking. He lifted his fist to his mouth, as his eyes shone vaguely with amusement and snorted, audibly. “Lookin’ good m’lady,” he said as if he was a 19th century English gentleman and was about to ask a high-born lady to dance in a flamboyant ball.

Frankly, Hanji didn’t even know what felt so wrong about braiding her hair, neatly and orderly on the first day of school. But for some reason, maybe because of the goddamn puberty she was going through—she was almost fifteen anyway—it irked her in a way nothing else did. And Levi was oh so aware of it.

“Ackerman!” Hanji snarled, as blood rushed to her cheeks in light speed and hence started their first-day marathon.

Levi had inhumanly fast reflexes. One second, he was standing in front of her, and the other he had already hurled himself to the street, running like a goddamn horse on a race. Hanji didn’t lose much time following after him, her steps were hard and fast on the ground. The braid her mother had so delicately made was winnowing left and right on her back as well as her backpack.

After almost ten minutes of exhausting and intense chasing, Levi was the first one to throw himself into the borders of the school. Hanji’s lungs were burning as if they had been exposed to hot, boiling water when she stumbled into the wide yard, breathing heavy and coughing miserably. Her neck, chest and back were all sticky with sweat. Levi was bent over, hands on his knees, his shoulders were rising and lowering with his fast inhales. He was tired too obviously.

But Hanji wasn’t done with him yet.

After her breaths more or less stabled and her heart quieted down, she sneaked up to him from behind being very aware of the crowd of students around them. No one cared about them just yet. And most certainly Hanji didn’t either. Levi slowly lifted his body, his schoolbag almost slipping down from his shoulder, and his neck shiny with droplets of sweat. He made the mistake of not checking what was behind him and hence gave Hanji the golden opportunity to jump onto his back.

“Hah!” she exclaimed. “You thought you could run away from me that easy—"

Her sentence was cut short when she realized that things weren’t going much as planned.

“Hanji!” he snarled and then, “Hanji, you fucking idiot!” Levi grabbed her legs and stumbled dangerously to the left. To where a table full of plastic glasses of lemonades was located.

“Oh no,” she gasped and held his shirt in her fists, tightly. “Oh, no. Levi, shit, watch out—"

So much for taking revenge. They both screamed at the same time when Levi couldn’t carry her sudden weight with his already tired and unstable body and together, they fell.

“Holy fuck!”

Hanji blinked her eyes. She was sitting on the ground, the ground which was wet with lemonade, as well as her uniform, her legs and she guessed, some parts of her hair. And if she was in such condition, then that also meant that Levi too—

A pair of arms wrapped around her neck from behind, making her gasp in shock. “Make your last wish, Zoe.”

“Levi,” she breathed, as he clung to his forearms with her hands. “Levi, please. Have mercy, have mercy!”

“In your goddamn dreams,” he tightened his arm around her neck just vaguely. Hanji knew he wouldn’t hurt her on purpose.

She couldn’t help it. She started to laugh. “I didn’t mean to—” she managed to say. “But you deserved it.”

He snarled right next to her ear. Oh, shoot. He was so, so pissed. “You’re dead.”

“The first day of high school,” an older and authoritative voice spoke from somewhere above them. Hanji looked up to see a man around his forties, with dark yellow hair and round glasses, wearing a well-ironed white shirt and black trousers. He had a blank, serious and bearded face. “And I see some of our newest students are already having fun.”

Hanji opened her mouth, unsure of what to say, or what excuses to line up, but Levi spoke before her. “It was my fault.”

“Levi!” she whispered harshly, turning her head slightly backwards to look at him.

“I am touched,” the man continued. Was he a teacher or someone else Hanji couldn’t exactly tell. He appeared to be way soberer to be one. “I didn’t know teens these days cared for each other this much. What are your names?”

“Levi,” he answered without so much delay.

“Hanji,” she followed right after.

The man nodded. “I am Adam Smith,” he introduced himself. “The headmaster.”

Oh, dear, Hanji thought bitterly, I wish I had the chance to look at my books one last time. Then she closed her eyes, afraid of having to face Levi’s wrath.

“And this is my son.”

Surprised, and with a slight hope, she dared to have, Hanji half lifted her eyelids, and her eyes travelled up until they met a blond boy around their age who had eyes as blue as agate. He was the most clean-cut boy she had ever seen since Levi. His school uniform was ironed straight without a single wrinkle left, and his hair seemed like quite an effort had been spent on it just this morning. But he looked friendly.

“Erwin, escort your friends to their houses and make sure they come back until the end of the first class,” the headmaster ordered the tone and his expression not altering just a bit.

“Yes, sir,” the boy affirmed, nodding.

Mr Smith then stared at Hanji and Levi. “I won’t give you two any punishment since it’s the first day of your high-school life,” he said, his eyes moving back and forth between the two of them, intimately. “But I won’t be as considerate as I am now in case of any further improper conduct.”

“Yes, sir,” Hanji said, successfully remembering the fact that she was able to speak.

“And young man,” the headmaster directed his piercing gaze to Levi. Hanji felt the rising and falling of his chest on her back. She wished she could see his face too. “Mind your language or else I might have to speak to your parents the next time.”

Hanji couldn’t see Levi’s reaction but he must’ve at least nodded for the headmaster soon turned around and started to walk towards the door of the building.

“Here, let me help you.” As soon as his father left their side, the boy, Erwin, extended his hands to them to help them get up. Hanji accepted the gesture with gratitude and smiled at him as she stood on her feet again.

“Thank you.”

Levi stood up by himself and glared at Hanji then at Erwin. “Why the hell there was a table of lemonades on the goddamn schoolyard?” he asked, already forgetting the very threatening warning he had just received.

“My father thought it would help new students to get adapted easier,” Erwin explained. “I hadn’t thought it would work, to be honest.”

“Well, it didn’t.”

“I am Erwin,” the boy introduced himself then, nodded at Levi and smiled at Hanji.

“Hanji,” she said, beaming at him. “Say, Erwin, how is it like to be the son of the headmaster?”

“Complicated,” he replied gently. “I can tell you more on the way.”

“That would be great!” she exclaimed. “Right, Levi?”

He was still glaring at her, his clothes were half-wet, one side of his hair was sticky with lemonade, he looked like a forcefully bathed, grumpy cat. “I need to take a shower.”

“We don’t have that much time,” Hanji looked at Erwin for confirmation. “Can he?”

The boy shrugged. “Sure, if he makes it quick.”

Levi nodded then turned around toward the exit of the school. They started to walk behind him with Erwin. Hanji felt pretty much guilty watching him go, although she was the right one here in the first place. Still, she felt bad. She even felt more uncomfortable about the lemonade on him than on herself.

“Best friends?” he asked, probably noticing Hanji’s regretful gaze following the boy walking in front of them.

“Yeah,” she nodded, looking at him. “Childhood friends.”

Erwin hummed; his sharp, blue eyes moved to Levi. “He seems… intense.”

Hanji couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah,” she confirmed. “He kind of is.”

When they got out of the school borders, she realised she wouldn’t be able to keep this tense atmosphere any longer. She needed to talk to him. “Sorry,” she said, sheepishly. “Do you mind if I catch up to him?”

“No, of course. Go ahead.”

“Thank you,” she touched his arm. “It was nice to meet you by the way. I hope we’re in the same class.”

He smiled. “You too.”

Then she turned around and ran up to Levi, who was radiating his dark aura as if he was some kind of a nuclear weapon.

“Frailty, thy name is woman,” she recited when she reached up to him. Then bit her lower lip when he glared at her from the corner of his eyes.

“Fuck off.”

“You can’t stay mad at me forever, you know.”

“Watch me.”

“Leviii!” she exclaimed, then wrapped an arm around his neck. They stumbled together a little until they found their rhythm back. “I am sorry, okay? But I still think you kind of deserved it.”

“Get off me,” he pushed her lightly from the stomach. “You stink.”

“You stink too. We’re both sweaty.” She paused then added. “And we’ve just taken a lemonade shower.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Of us both.”

He sighed. “Whatever.”

She watched his profile for a while. “Am I forgiven?”

He met her gaze, eyes searching hers. He didn’t seem much angry anymore. “I’ll consider it.”

She smirked. “Roof after school?”

He nodded without even stopping to think. Seemed like she was forgiven already. “Sure.”

At the end of the first month of high school on a supposedly autumn day, she was standing in front of his door, wearing a black, denim jacket, sweatpants and holding a scissor in her hands.

“Missed me?” she stepped inside without waiting for an invitation. Levi closed the door, eyeing her suspiciously.

“It’s been only two hours since I’ve last seen you.”

She gasped as she stepped out of her shoes. “It’s been precisely four hours, thirty-seven minutes and—” she looked at her watch briefly. “Forty seconds since you’ve last seen me. I can’t believe you can be this reckless about the time we spent apart, Levi. And you call me your best friend.”

“I am regretting that sometimes.” Hanji ignored him as she walked inside the house. “Where is everyone?”

“In their rooms,” Levi raised his brows. It was almost midnight. “Why are you here?”

“Do I need a reason?”

“In this hour, yes,” Levi said matter-of-factly. He had no problems with having her here, never had, but it was Friday, and he was kind of tired. “So?”

Hanji raised the big ass scissor with one hand. “I want you to cut my hair.”

“Your hair?” His eyes scanned her hair, as messy as always, brought together with a black hair tie on the top of her head as a ponytail. “Four-eyes, I think you mixed the buildings. The hairdresser is down the street, on your right.”

Hanji rolled her eyes then stepped closer to him. “I don’t want to go to a hairdresser. I want you to cut my hair.”

“Hanji I’ve never cut anyone’s hair. Are you out of your mind?”

Rather than answering, she pressed the scissor on his chest so much so that he almost felt it on his ribcage. Her eyes were resolute and serious. “I am going to give you all my power.”

Levi sighed; his eyes moved up to the ceiling. The yellow light dazzled his sight, and he wondered what the hell had he done to deserve this at this hour of the night. Yet, there was a part of him, a part he was sure controlled more by Hanji rather than himself, and that part kept up with her bizarre mind almost subconsciously. “Samson?”

“Yes.” She was smirking when Levi lowered his gaze from the ceiling to look at her.

Levi shook her head. “You should stop living your life by fictional or Biblical characters.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Levi took the scissor she was continuing to press upon his chest when she applied more pressure not so subtly to imply him to hold it. She took her jacket off when he did and started to climb the stairs. Levi fell into step with her without losing much time.

“Why do you want to cut your hair anyway?” He asked, wondering.

“Because I don’t want to be the subject of my mother’s evil deeds anymore,” she replied with a low, dark voice.

“You are the one who is adamantly losing the bets,” Levi reminded her. Meanwhile, they had started to walk towards the bathroom through the dark corridor. Levi turned the light on as he passed by the button, then followed Hanji into the bathroom.

“Whose side are you on?”

“Your mother, obviously.”

She threw him a nonchalant look, “Traitor.” Then she reached for her hair tie and pulled it off.

When had her hair grown so long? Levi blinked as he watched the brown strands falling down from her shoulders in waves. Towards the end, a few of them were curling slightly on her back. He also noticed the different tones of brown, light, dark and chestnut, shading some parts of her hair. When her glasses followed the hair tie after, and Hanji put them on top of the washing machine along with her jacket, he asked, bewildered. “Who are you?”

She eyed him first like she was trying to figure out the reason why he was so shocked. It didn’t last long until the wheels sat in their places. “I am the evil twin,” she replied easily then, with a glint in her eyes. “We have to wash my hair first.”

Oh? Hanji willingly offering to wash her hair? She was that desperate about cutting her hair then. “We?”

“I can’t wash it on my own. I am practically half-blind right now.”

“Just say you have no idea about being clean, and we can get it over with four-eyes.” Levi dropped the scissor on top of her jacket and bending over the bathtub he turned on the tap, waiting for the water to get hot enough.

“Who am I to talk in your presence, Your Cleanliness?” She said, then laughed at her own joke, tilting her head backwards.

“Shut up,” he had tried to be strict and curt, not that he had failed. If only he hadn’t snorted right after. “Idiot.”

To wash his best friend’s most of the time hygiene neglected hair was a once in a lifetime opportunity, so Levi took his sweet time, rubbing her skull and her long locks with his shampoo two, three times until he was totally satisfied with the result. Hanji was restless as expected, she whined when shampoo got into her eyes and grunted when he pulled on her hair by mistake. Levi didn’t quite care about her compliments. She was the one to offer this whole thing after all.

After he thoroughly rinsed the shampoo out of her hair, he handed her a towel then got out of the bathroom to bring a chair for her to sit down.

When he came back, she was combing her hair in front of the mirror. “You sure about this?” he asked as he dropped the chair behind her and gestured her to sit down.

“Of course, I am.” Hanji settled down on the chair, and Levi, after getting the scissor back from the top of the washing machine, stood behind her. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

“I am not promising a clean-cut,” he warned her beforehand and travelled his hand through her wet locks. The smell of the shampoo was clear and fresh and on the reflection in the misty mirror, her cheeks and eyes were vaguely red. She smiled when they made eye contact.

“I trust you.”

Cut.

The brown strands fell on the white tile one after the other, the metal scissor was the only one making sound inside the bathroom. Levi tried his best to cut her hair in a straight line just above her shoulders as she had requested. He didn’t know if he made a good job or failed miserably and gave her the worst haircut of her whole life. And he wasn’t sure if Hanji was faking it or not, but she looked ecstatic when he was done with the cut.

“I love it!” She was grinning at her reflection, now standing in front of the mirror. “Thank you, Levi!”

“Yeah, sure,” Levi said, doubtfully. He was still pretty much convinced that she was pretending. “You’re welcome.”

The stupid grin stayed plastered on her face as she wore her glasses and tied her now quite short hair. It wasn’t a successful attempt. Only a quarter of her hair had managed to fit into the tie, the rest was falling off on her nape and around her face.

Hanji gave him a thumbs up when she saw the way he was watching her. Still not satisfied but thinking that if Hanji was happy then it was all good, Levi shrugged. “You’re gonna stay the night?”

She paused for a second, thinking. Then nodded seconds later. “I’ll text my mom.”

After cleaning the bathroom, Levi brought Hanji a set of clothes for her to change into. He then went back to his room to prepare his bed for the night.

“I am so tired,” Hanji said, yawning as she joined him after a few minutes. She closed the door and sat down on Levi’s bed.

“You can take the bed,” Levi offered and patted his own pillow which was lying on the head of the makeshift bed on the floor. “The sheets are clean.”

“How very nice of you,” she said, smiling.

Levi turned off the light before he got under the sheets. He lied on his back, watching the dark ceiling. Every now and then, a car swept by and its yellow headlights filtering through the curtains created shadow patterns above.

When only minutes passed by, “Levi,” Hanji called him softly.

“Hmm?”

“These sheets smell like you.”

“Oh?” He blinked up to the ceiling, and his mind made a quick tour around the events of the past two days. He must’ve forgotten to change them. “Well, shit.”

She laughed quietly, and Levi turned his head to the side looking up at her. “Sorry, do you want me to change them?”

“No, it’s okay.” She tossed over to lie face down. Half of her face was on the edge of the bed. He could make out the lines of her lips and nose, and fluttering eyelashes. “You always smell nice.”

“I smell—”

“Clean, I know,” she snickered. “Hey,” she said then.

“What?”

“What do you think about the high school?”

“An asylum stuffed with a bunch of arrogant teenagers.”

“You are a teenager too, Levi.”

“I am not arrogant.”

“No, right, you’re a clean freak.”

“And you are a half-mad genius. We blend in.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, quietly. “We do.”

His eyelids got heavier and his breaths steadier when he thought the conversation was over for the night. Darkness lurked over him, it was deep and wide, and dominant. It demanded him to surrender, and he almost did until he heard Hanji’s voice again.

“I think our classmates are cool, though.”

He blinked open his eyes, “Yeah, some of them,” he muttered, voice dripping with sleep.

“Erwin is very intelligent,” Hanji went on, unaware. “He knows a lot of things. I think I like him the most. What about you?”

And just like that, he was wide awake again. “You sure do seem to get along really well,” he said bitterly, ignoring her question.

“Don’t tell me?” Levi heard the sheets rustling and felt Hanji looking down at him. “Are you jealous?”

“The hell does that mean?”

“So, you’re jealous.”

“Fuck off,” Levi turned his back to her, lying on his left.

A few blissful seconds passed in silence, then Hanji said, “You are though.”

“Am not.”

“Levi, come on,” Hanji urged his side until she made him lie on his back again. “Look,” she took the hand which was resting on his chest and enlaced their fingers. “You don’t need to be jealous. You know why?”

“I am not jealous. For fuck’s sake—”

“Because we are soulmates,” she cut him as if he never made a single word. “Which means there is nobody in the world who can understand you better than me,” she went on. “And there is nobody in the world who can understand me better than you.”

In the dark, Levi stared at their hands curled together, the tip of her fingertips was touching the back of his hand. And he pondered over how warm, smooth and somehow strong her hand felt against his. Strong as her existence, strong as her very soul and mind. Warm like the first days of summer and resilient like the frost-bound fist of a fallen soldier. She pressed their palms into each other, and as another car drove by the street Levi looked up to her face half-hidden in the shadows. Newly cut, damp hair resting like a dark nimbus on her cheek. Dark shades of her eyelashes were lined up on her cheekbones and they were reminding him of the beams around the sun. And she was staring at him like what she had just said was the only truth on earth.

He felt himself nodding, approving because she was right. Of course, she was.

I am an astronaut, he thought abruptly, completely out of the blue .

“Goodnight,” she whispered then, he caught her smile just as the light vanished, and she was covered by darkness again.

Not entirely. It was innate in her. “Goodnight.”

He had no knowledge of the period after his conscience left the screen but until then he didn’t let go of her hand.

And neither did she.

“Hanjooo!” A muscular arm wrapped around her neck all of a sudden, while she was reading a book during the break, in front of the window on the school corridor.

“Hey, Mike,” she said, overcoming her shock at his sudden appearance.

Mike was a blond, green-eyed boy from her class. He was pretty tall and muscular for their age and she was almost certain that if the headmaster let him, he would absolutely grow a beard. “Are you free after school?”

“Umm, I guess?” She blinked. “Why are you asking?”

Mike smirked, playfully and kind of slyly. “I thought we could hang out together.”

“Together?”

“You and me,” Mike explained to be clear.

“You and— oh,” Hanji stopped as she kind of understood what Mike was implying. “But aren’t you, uh, I mean, don’t you have a thing for Na—”

Mike let go an uproarious laugh and patted her shoulder, almost making her choke on her own spit. “Joking, joking. We are thinking about hanging out after school. You know, me, Nana, Erwin, you and your little friend too if he would like.”

“You mean Levi?”

“Yeah.”

She hummed and shrugged. She didn’t think Levi would say no if she agreed to go. “I’ll ask him…”

Just then, she saw Levi climbing the stairs with Petra who was another classmate of theirs and one of Levi’s friends from middle school. They were talking at the same time; Levi was nodding to something Petra was telling him. The scene was quite ordinary, just two friends talking to each other, but Hanji had realized it was the mimics that were kind of different. The way Petra pushing a lock of hair behind her ear, the way she was smiling shyly at something Levi had said, the way Levi’s features were relaxed and almost soft as he talked to her.

And also, as for herself, the way she felt her shoulders tense, the way something murky, almost venomous walking tiptoe on her gut. It was a strange and unwelcomed feeling and she quickly got disposed of it as Levi moved his head and their gazes locked for a second before his eyes travelled down to her shoulder and he glared at it as if he had just seen his biggest enemy.

Petra touched his shoulder lightly and said something Hanji couldn’t hear, and he nodded absently while Petra walked away to the other direction toward the class after a brief glance at Hanji’s side.

Levi walked up to where Hanji and Mike were standing. “Hey!” she greeted him, smirking.

He squinted at Mike who was retreating his arm from around her shoulder at the time and nodded at her stifly.

“I’ll see you after school, then,” Mike said. “You too, man,” he added addressing Levi, then turned around to walk up to Erwin who was sitting at one of the tables placed next to the wall.

“What is that giant talking about?” Levi asked after Mike left.

“Well, buckle up,” Hanji told him while shutting her book with a thud. “We’ve got plans after school.”

It was February, and it was cold.

The five of them were walking through a park, all around there were giant, old and naked trees that were reaching high up to the sky. On the earth below them, thousands of pale leaves were piled up. The colours of fall were still visible here and there, on the yellow, orange and red skins of the leaves, on the pine trees down the road, on the dry rustle of the brown branches.

“How pretty,” she cooed.

As Mike suggested they were hanging out after school. If walking through a park counted as hanging out that is. Erwin, Nanaba and Mike were walking before them while Levi and Hanji were following them right behind.

“What is?” Levi asked.

“The colour of fall,” she replied with a smile.

“It is Winter,” he objected but looked around himself nonetheless then hummed confirming.

“Hey,” she urged his shoulder lightly. “Wanna race to that tree?”

Levi followed the direction Hanji’s head gestured with his eyes. A single tree just some miles away from where they were. “Why would I race with someone knowing they will lose?”

Hanji scoffed, “Don’t underestimate me.”

“Are you challenging?”

“What do you think?”

She put an arm on his chest to stop him from walking any further. “On three.”

They took position side by side. Hanji felt her mouth curling up, and a peal of laughter shaped on her throat, but she avoided it from going out and counted to three instead. “Go!”

They both hurled forward at the same time and she felt their friends looking at them surprised as they ran past them, but within minutes Levi was far beyond her. Like the first day of school, he was running like his life was depending on it, his dark hair a wild wave and his steps seemed like he was more like flying than running. Hanji was laughing breathlessly as she forced her legs to their limits, her short hair sticking to her nape with sweat, and she ran, ran and ran to the tree with him, with a wind he carried, the storm he ruled. As if she were a ship without a helm so she merely let the wind lead her to the harbour.

Levi won, in the end, but he lost his balance when Hanji, unable to slow down, crashed against his back. Along with grunts, swears and laughter they fell down, lying side by side on top of the leaves. Breathing heavily and loudly, chest moving up and down, watching the clouds sliding slowly one by one.

She turned her head towards him, still breathing hard and traces of laughter on her lips and she saw him looking upwards with the slightest but peaceful curl of his mouth. His eyes shone like the sand under the midday sun, like invaluable pieces of stone, like the surface of the moon. The colour of fall around his head, sweaty, raven hair scattered on the leaves whose time had long passed. The red colour of fall on his cheeks, because of the cold and because of their race. For the first time, she realised how dark his eyelashes were. Black like the wings of a crow, the feathers of a raven.

For the first time, she realised how beautiful he was.

Beautiful? The word startled her like an unexpected jolt of lightning. She almost winced, frozen on the spot. She didn’t know why, she couldn’t name the curl, crawls on her stomach. She also didn’t know the reason why she felt like crying, her breath hitched, her eyes wide, terrified. She couldn’t understand what felt so wrong about this but somehow it was undoubtedly close to denying gravity.

“What?”

He was staring at her, a frown shaped on his face. She winced visibly; she hadn’t noticed him looking back at her.

“What?” she asked.

“Are you okay?” His frown deepened.

“Yes,” she lied and quickly stood up albeit a little clumsily. Then fixed her clothes and hair. “Perfectly fine.”

He was looking suspicious as he too stood up. “You sure?”

She nodded drastically, avoiding meeting his eyes. “Let’s go join the others.”

Then she turned around without giving him a chance to speak. Crashing whatever had happened just now with each step she took and relentlessly stepping on the wildflower she felt sprouting within her stomach.

Watching the way the flames moved was addicting. She couldn’t take her eyes away from the dancing fire, the red knots flying around it like fireflies, the transit of colours from tip to the end and the crackling sound it made. It was a good enough distraction from her uninvited thoughts.

“Didn’t think this was what they meant by hanging up.” He sat down next to her on the sand. They were on the beach, stupidly challenging against the cold weather.

She smiled playfully. “Why? Did you think we would go to a party and get tanked up?”

Levi threw her an unimpressed look, “No. I thought we would go to a café with an air conditioner and drink hot tea.”

He got a point, she couldn’t deny. “They managed to make a fire though,” Hanji said, extending her hands toward it.

“Yeah, I am impressed.”

She snorted lightly and wondered where the other three had been. They had gone to buy beverages and snacks to eat about ten minutes ago.

“Hey.” Hanji felt him sliding closer to her. Their shoulders almost touched. “Are you okay?”

She nodded watching the flames with unfocused eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

She looked at him then to find him watching her carefully, with his full attention on her. She thought about the wildflower, and as she sought a solution, she found it on him again. “We are besties forever, right?”

Seemingly confused, Levi frowned vaguely, trying to see beyond her words. And maybe he did or maybe not when he replied she almost lost her courage to continue. “No, not forever.” It lasted for merely seconds, because she had understood what he was coming to. “To the last syllable of recorded time,” they said at the same time, echoing each other.

She smirked, as he chuckled. “I can’t believe you make me say it every time.”

“I don’t make you say it,” she said, matter-of-factly. “You are saying it willingly.”

He grunted and looked away, a smile stayed hanging on the corner of his lips, the flames painted his face, played with the colour of his eyes. It was there, the word, so close to invade her mind yet again with guns and rifles. It was that perilous to let it stay because it would only cause a ravage in her mind.

For that, she looked away too.

Do not water the plant, she thought to herself then. Let it grow old and decayed. Let it fade away.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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chelsfic · 4 years ago

Text

Leftovers - Part 4 - Nandor the Relentless x Reader Fanfic

Previous Parts: Masterlist

Summary: Vampire (bite) aftercare, Nandor tries to pretend like he doesn’t want to fuck you, you bond with Guillermo!!, and the gang gets an invitation!

A/N: GUYS! You’re so nice to me with all these comments and asks!! You keep me going! I hope you like this chapter. I didn’t mean for it to be the Guillermo slumber party chapter, but here we are.

Warnings: Reader described as short and plays roller derby, vampire/human relationships, blood drinking, smut (in other chapters), power differential

---

Nandor lays you down on the towels and picks up the tube of antibiotic cream on your nightstand. He wrinkles his nose as he unscrews the cap.

“This ointment is putrid,” he grumbles, but he squirts some out onto his fingers anyways and gently applies it to the wounds on your neck.

Whatever remaining energy you had following the feeding seems to have bled away with your makeout session because you can barely keep your eyes open now. The antibiotic stings a bit but you’re grateful for the attention and feeling a little light-headed and delirious--which surely accounts for the way you nuzzle your face against Nandor’s forearm as he tends to the wound.

“There, all better,” he proclaims as he places a large band-aid on your neck. He sits there for a moment, fidgeting awkwardly with his cape before abruptly standing. “I will tell Guillermo to bring you some of your electrolyte drink.”

---

“It seems the human wants to do the sex with me,” Nandor leans into the camera conspiratorially. “I mean, I can’t say I’m surprised. Humans have always been attracted to my dark power but…”

He grimaces in distaste and shakes his head, “I’ve never seen the appeal. Vampire/Human relationships? I mean...why? They die--either you eat them or they get old and gross…”

Nandor pauses at a muffled question from behind the camera.

He shrugs and knits his brows together, “Why would it be different with this human?”

“[Unintelligible]...out of your way not to kill her…”

“Yes, because of her virgin blood!” Nandor exclaims, enunciating his words condescendingly. “Why would I do the sex with her? Then she wouldn’t taste good anymore. Sex with humans is more trouble than it’s worth. They’re weak...fragile...they have to breathe. Where is the fun?”

Nandor reaches the bottom of the stairs and pauses to call out, “Guillermo!”

“Yes, master?” Guillermo pops out of his closet-bedroom and goes to the vampire’s side at once.

“I’ve just fed from the mortal. Bring her the Gatorade beverage and a snack. She’s very weak,” Nandor commands.

“Right away, master,” Guillermo does a little half bow and turns to leave.

Nandor puts out a hand to stop him, “She likes the blue flavor. Make sure you get the right one.”

Guillermo shoots a shocked look directly into the camera. When was the last time Nandor ever recalled a little detail like that about him?

Guillermo scurries away and Nandor rearranges his cape, making ready to leave for the evening. He catches the camera guy staring at him with a knowing smirk.

“What?!”

---

“Thanks, Guillermo,” you murmur after a sip of Gatorade. You have no idea what the proper treatment for blood loss is, but a snack is always nice. Maybe you should start taking iron supplements?

Guillermo goes to leave but you stop him.

“Will you...stay with me for a little while?” you ask feeling unaccountably timid. “I feel gross and I don’t want to be by myself…”

Guillermo looks like he’s torn but he finally sighs and walks back over to you, perching awkwardly beside you on the bed.

“Sure, I’ll stay for a bit,” he says and you give him a toothy grin.

You turn on your side to face him, snuggling up under the covers and giving yourself some major slumber party vibes. You’re finally going to bond with Guillermo! He’s sitting rigidly up against the headboard and you have to swallow a laugh.

“Thanks, Guillermo,” you try to imbue your sincere gratitude into the words. “And...I’m sorry if you feel like I’m coming between you and Nandor. I don’t mean to…”

Guillermo lets out a long sigh, “It’s not your fault. He’s always been distant with me and I’m just...surprised to see him being so nice to another human.”

“Nice?” you laugh. “I’m still not convinced he isn’t planning on draining me dry one of these nights…”

Guillermo scoffs and shakes his head, “I don’t think so, Smash. I mean...he seems to care about you?”

The thought gives you a secret thrill that you try to ignore. Having feelings for a vampire--that’s pretty much the closest thing to a death wish you can imagine. But you find yourself raising your fingers to your lips and recalling the press of his mouth on yours. You look up to see the sad look on Guillermo’s face and it squeezes your heart.

“Hey… I’m sure Nandor cares about you, too,” you offer. You’re trying to come up with something to say to cheer him up when your brain backtracks and processes his words, “Hey! Did you just call me my derby name!?”

Guillermo blushes adorably and stammers, “Oh--uh, yeah? Is that okay? Or is it only for other skaters to use?”

You can’t help it, he’s such a teddy bear, you reach out and squeeze his arm in a hug.

“No, it’s great! Oh my god, Guillermo, we’re really gonna be friends, aren’t we!?” you gush.

“I guess so…hey, can I ask you something?” Guillermo scoots down the bed so that he’s laying on the pillow next to yours and facing you. Slumber party vibes!

“Shoot,” you reply.

“What’s it like?” he pauses and darts his eyes away from yours before looking back at you. “When he bites you?”

Your lips twist into a crooked smile and your turn your face into the pillow to hide with an embarrassed squeak. The bite and the making out are all jumbled together in your stupid human brain. Was it painful? Sexy? Hot? Horrifying? All of that, yes.

“It’s…” you struggle for words. “Intimate. You’re very close and he wraps his arms around you. He’s so strong, you couldn’t struggle away from him if you tried. But you don’t...try. Because his eyes are so dark and intense and...gorgeous and they’re focused just on you. And then he puts his mouth on your neck and for a second it’s like a kiss but then he bites and it hurts. But his lips are still on you and his hands. He puts his hand on your head to support you and you feel kind of...taken care of? While he’s--uh--you know, drinking your blood. You worry that he’ll go too far and forget to stop but then you’re floating and happy and you don’t care anymore if he stops or not. But he does. And his lips are red with your blood but they still look so soft and--and...uh. And, uh, that’s pretty much it.”

Guillermo’s staring at you with his eyes narrowed in suspicion, “Have you--did you two--? Smash!”

You’re burning with embarrassment and you stumble over your words, “What? No! We haven’t...well--not much. But--would it be bad if we did?”

In this moment Guillermo looks like nothing so much as a concerned older brother and you want to melt a little.

“It’s...I don’t know?” he shrugs but his eyes are a little frantic. “Vampires are very, very...sexual beings. And you’re a virgin--which they love for, uh, other reasons but...I’m just a little worried you might be in over your head.”

You sigh and try to suppress your natural instinct to be defensive. You are in over your head. You’re living in a vampire house as a live-in blood donor.

“So, you and Nandor have never…?” it’s a question you’ve been asking yourself since you first met Guillermo.

He smiles slightly and shakes his head, “No. We’re not--that’s not what our relationship is about. I care about Nandor, of course. And there was a time that I felt more but...I’ve let it go.”

You frown at his answer, “Are you sure? Because I don’t want to cause any drama…”

“Really, Smash. Nandor’s my... friend--even if he has a funny way of showing it most of the time. That’s all.”

Your eyes are feeling heavy and you yawn into your elbow before you answer, “Alright...if you’re sure.”

“But are you sure?” he quips, arching one brow.

You let out a long sigh and shrug your shoulders.

“Hey...you want me to tell you what’s it like kissing Nandor?”

He giggles and rolls his eyes, “You shouldn’t kiss and tell.”

“What’s the fun in that?!”

---

“Nandor! Hey--come here you big donkey!” Nadja hisses from the upstairs hallway.

She draws him over to your bedroom doorway and pokes her head inside, “Look at these adorable, baby humans, Nandor!”

You and Guillermo are asleep, curled up like shrimp side-by-side on your bed. Guillermo’s glasses are askew on his face and there’s a pool of drool on your pillow beneath your open mouth.

“Aren’t they precious?” Nadja croons. “I just want to chomp their little limbs right off.”

Nandor’s eyes flick from you to Guillermo and he stays in the doorway long after Nadja drifts back downstairs.

“Sweet dreams, my humans,” he whispers.

---

“Attention, everyone! I have some very exciting news to share this evening,” Nandor stands by the fireplace with Guillermo flanking him on his right brandishing a postcard-sized piece of mail in his hands.

You’re sitting sandwiched between Nadja and Laszlo on the long couch and Colin Robinson is sitting in an armchair with a newspaper folded on his lap. Nadja takes your hand in both of hers and holds it on her lap and you let your head fall on her shoulder. You’ve enjoyed falling into friendship with her even if you’re pretty sure she sometimes thinks of you as some kind of human baby doll to play with.

“Nadja!” Nandor exclaims with a stamp of his heavy-booted foot. “How many times do I tell you to leave my human alone?”

“Nandor!” you shout in annoyance. “Nadja’s like my vampire mommy. Leave her alone!”

Guillermo’s eyes are wide with anxiety and he flicks his gaze from his Master to Nadja.

“Yes, Nandor. I’m her dear mama,” Nadja taunts and makes a show of baring her fangs and clawing her fingers over your head as if she’s about to bite you. “Chill out, donkey brain.”

Nandor presses his lips together in annoyance. Rather than reply to Nadja he turns on you, “You’re being very disrespectful to me, human. And I’m noting it. It’s being noted!”

Maybe it’s Nadja’s presence that boosts your confidence or maybe it’s the memory of Guillermo telling you you’d be out of your depth with a vampire lover. But you want to prove that you can play on their level. You smile up at Nandor and bat your eyes.

“I guess you’ll have to punish me then…” you say with false innocence. You catch Guillermo’s expression in the corner of your eyes and he looks like he’s having a coronary.

“Oh, you saucy minx!” Nadja praises.

“Shall I get the cat’o’nine tails from the attic?” Laszlo pipes in.

Nandor looks totally unamused. He narrows his eyes at you with a storm cloud gathering on his brow.

“Enough foolishness! I have an announcement. Guillermo, the letter,” Nandor turns to his Familiar and takes the paper from his hands. “We have been invited…to a vampire rave!”

“Oh, goody!” Nadja claps her hands together.

“Drug blood!” Laszlo cries in exultation.

Even Colin Robinson perks up.

“What’s a vampire rave?” you ask smiling in curiosity. You’re getting excited just from the others’ enthusiasm.

Laszlo answers, “It’s like a human rave only with vampires. We feed off the humans and get high ourselves. It’s great fun.”

“Uh, okay, but we all remember what happened the last time you guys drank drug blood,” Guillermo’s warns.

“Oh, shut up, Guillermo!,” Nandor flicks his wrist at him. “It would have been fine if you were a little more careful.”

Guillermo looks like he’s about to make a retort but Nandor talks over him, “It’s tomorrow night at an abandoned Circuit City across town! We’re all going to have a great time! Except...for you.”

Nandor looks down his nose at you and you whine, “Me!? Why can’t I go?”

Nadja joins your cause, “Nandor, why can’t we take the little human with us? She will be fine. If any vampire tries to attack her she will do the hip-check on them.”

“You’ve disrespected me in front of the other roommates!” Nandor admonishes. “This is the consequence. You can’t come. You’re not invited.”

You stand, walking up to Nandor and poking your finger in his chest as you proclaim, “You’re being very mean to me. And I’m noting it!”

You storm out before he can respond. You hear Laszlo’s voice as you jog up the stairs.

“Are you going to let her get away with that kind of behavior!?”

Nandor holds out his hands helplessly, “She’s gone! She’s gotten away with it!”

---

“Human!” Nadja hisses a whisper as she creeps into your bedroom later that night. “Human! Wake up!”

You roll over in bed to find her looming above you. You can see her wickedly sharp fangs to full affect and you gulp down the instinct to shriek.

“Nadja?” your voice comes out full of gravel.

“Don’t worry my little roller warrior. I’m taking you to the vampire rave tomorrow! We can’t let that stupid piece of snake ruin our fun!”

---

A/N: Is my Nadja crush showing???

Tags-- let me know if you’d like to be added to the tags!

@festering-queen @glitterportrait @kandomeresbitch @scuzmunkie @redwoodshadows

#nandor the relentless #nandor #nandor x reader #nandor the relentless x reader #nandor the relentless imagine #nandor imagine #nandor the relentless fanfic #wwdits fanfic #wwdits #human x vampire #kayvan novak

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senorarelojes · 4 years ago

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Ficlet: Surprise Party

Just some crack I wrote for @pinksyndication. A very silly Pizzaverse oneshot.

Most of the time, Fletch was the only one out of his friends to remember someone’s birthday. He didn’t know why he had the uncanny ability to recall the birthdates of even casual acquaintances, or mates whom he hadn’t seen in years since they left uni. Martin often made fun of him about it, which was ironic because he wholly depended on Fletch to remind him when people’s birthdays were coming up. Of course Fletch teased him about it - but not that much since Martin was very thoughtful when it came to celebrations for their close friends, especially Dave and Alan.

Back in Bas, they’d always celebrated Dave’s birthday in a big group, usually hitting the pubs and clubs and getting pissed until morning. However, now that he was with Alan, the pub crawls had given way to more adult group dinners and the occasional karaoke tournament, where either Dave or Martin would emerge the winner (despite one memorable year where a drunk Alan belted out Total Eclipse of the Heart to a red-faced Dave while everyone else cried with laughter).

Fletch supposed it was normal for birthdays to get more boring as they approached their mid twenties, although he was a little sad that their clubbing days were rapidly dying out. He decided he could try to do something different and plan a big surprise party for someone at one point.

The opportunity presented itself not long after. Dave’s 25th birthday was coming up, and while it had become tradition for him and Alan to go off and do their own thing, this year was different because Alan was stuck in Manchester for a recording project with an urgent deadline. Fletch had heard from Martin that Dave had considered taking the train up to Manchester so he could spend at least part of the day with Alan, but Dave himself was stuck at work for a merchandising event.

“Don’t tell him I told you,” Martin informed Fletch over dinner, “but he’s utterly depressed about spending his birthday alone. I thought we could do something for him, y’know?”

Fletch perked up, his fork clattering on the plate in excitement and startling Miffles at his feet. “We could throw him a party?”

Martin looked doubtful. “Dunno, he didn’t seem to want to leave the house.”

“So we’ll have it at his place,” Fletch said, gesturing impatiently across the hall. “He won’t even have to leave the sofa.”

Lifting his shoulder in a shrug, Martin picked up his phone. “I’ll ask him.” He’d barely put his phone down when it buzzed with a reply from Dave: dont wanna celebrate w/out charlie 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“Jesus, this is textbook co-dependence,” Fletch said in mock disgust while Martin laughed. “So sod him then, we’ll just throw him a surprise party.”

Martin wrinkled his nose. “Sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, we’ve got their spare keys, don’t we?” Fletch waggled his eyebrows at Martin. “We’ll call everyone, let ourselves into their flat with a cake and surprise the hell out of Dave, yeah? Then we’ll bring food and alcohol over from our place.”

It didn’t take much more to convince Martin, and soon after Fletch managed to get Grainne, Daryl, Paul and Nicole on board as well. Even Vince agreed to travel up from Bas for the night. Privately, Fletch was a little glad Christina wouldn’t be attending, as she’d returned to Germany after she and Martin had split up a few months ago. Fletch also hoped this party would lift Martin’s spirits as well.

As planned, on Dave’s birthday, everyone pretended to forget about it. Fletch almost felt guilty when Dave came over to have breakfast with them, shooting him and Mart hopeful glances before he left for work. Then it was up to Fletch and Martin to make sure things were ready for tonight. Martin would be leaving the bank early to take care of decorations and food, while Fletch would be fetching Vince from the station after work before they’d go to pick up Dave’s cake.

In the evening, everyone had arrived by seven and was hiding in Fletch’s and Martin’s flat, waiting for Dave to come home as they blew balloons and helped with the food. A little after eight, Daryl - who’d been stationed to keep watch at the window - suddenly shushed them, signaling for everyone to keep quiet. It seemed Dave had finally reached home.

Fletch tip-toed over to Daryl’s side, peeking out from behind the curtains. He could see Dave unlocking the door to his and Alan’s flat, his cheeks a little red and his walk unsteady - Fletch guessed that his mates from work must have taken him out for a few birthday pints. After the door slammed shut, Fletch set the timer for fifteen minutes, which he figured was enough time for Dave to settle in and sober up a bit before they went in to surprise him.

Once Fletch’s timer went off, everyone played their parts like a well-oiled machine. Vince brought the cake out from the fridge, Paul stuck on the candles and lit them, Grainne grabbed her phone to take pictures, Martin took out the spare keys that Dave and Alan had entrusted them with. All of them nodded quietly at each other before Fletch opened the door and led everyone out.

Martin slid the key in as quietly as possible, unlocking it with graceful stealth. Fletch very slowly nudged the door open; the living room was dark, which meant Dave wasn’t there. Once he was sure, he swung the door open wider so that everyone could fit in: Fletch led the way, Vince behind him with the cake. The candles were the only light in the flat.

Dave and Alan’s bedroom door was closed. Fletch ignored another pang of guilt that Dave was quite probably moping in bed now, distressed that his friends had forgotten him and Alan had forsaken him for work. Gesturing for everyone to follow, Fletch placed his hand on the doorknob, silently counting down to three on his fingers before he suddenly twisted the knob and yanked the door open, barging into the room. “Surprise! Happy birthday D--”

It was a toss-up as to who was more stunned: Fletch (and Vince right behind him with the cake) or a naked Dave in bed with his laptop on his thighs, scrambling to cover his crotch with a blanket as he shouted, “What the fuck!”

“Sorry! Christ I’m sorry!” Fletch slammed his hands over his eyes so he could get the image of Dave’s pale arse out of his goddamn brain. Behind him, he could hear Daryl laughing in disbelief and Alan’s voice from the laptop speakers, demanding to know what the fuck was going on.

“Oh my God, Dave,” Fletch could hear Grainne blabbering, “We’re so, so sorry--”

“Everyone out!” Dave yelled, and that was when someone - probably Martin - came to their senses and started shoving at all of them to leave the room. Once the door was closed, Fletch let his hands drop, still stunned in disbelief. Fucking Daryl was still laughing as though they hadn’t just walked in on their good friend completely starkers and having Skype sex with their other friend. Paul and Nicole, who had been stuck in the back, were still completely confused, while Vince looked rather traumatised, ignoring the candles as they melted onto the cake.

“Fucking hell.” Fletch just rubbed at his temples as Grainne rubbed his back soothingly. “I’m going to need so much therapy.”

The door swung open again, an angry and tomato-faced Dave reappearing in shorts and a tank-top. “What the hell?”

“Er, happy birthday?” Martin grinned sheepishly, subtly hiding behind Fletch when Dave glared at him. However, his scowl melted away once he spotted the still-dazed Vince holding the cake.

“Oh man, you guys.” Dave rubbed at his face, probably torn between embarrassment and gratitude.

“Quick, blow them out,” Paul said with a grin. “Then you can go blow something else.”

Daryl laughed even harder while Fletch wanted to pour bleach into his ears. “Sorry, we didn’t know you and Alan, uh--”

“Shit!” Dave’s eyes widened in realisation before he dashed back into the room, re-emerging with his laptop. On the screen was a topless but confused Alan in a Skype window, asking what was going on. “Sorry Al, someone decided to throw me a surprise party,” Dave explained to him.

“Oh.” At least Alan must have thought it was pretty funny, judging from how he seemed to be fighting back a laugh as he waved at everyone. “Hi from Manchester, you lot.”

“Sorry for interrupting you and Dave,” Martin said. “It was meant to be a birthday surprise thing.”

“So was mine.” Alan was the absolute picture of innocence.

“I’m not talking to you while you’re shirtless,” Fletch said, shielding his eyes.

“Maybe we should leave them alone,” Grainne suggested. Fletch appreciated that she was at least keeping her gaze at eye-level and nowhere near Dave’s bunchy-looking underwear. “We’ll wait for you next door, Dave.”

“Yeah, I’ll be right over.” Dave gave all of them an apologetic grimace. “Let me wrap things up with Al first, yeah?”

“So we’ll see you in a minute? A minute and a half?” Paul smirked, not at all caring that Dave looked ready to throw the laptop at him.

They eventually filed out of Dave’s and Alan’s flat, heading back into Fletch’s and Martin’s. By now, the candles had completely melted onto the cake, and Vince was blinking down at the waxy mess, eyes still round with surprise.

“You all right, mate?” Martin asked in concern, taking the cake off the poor bloke.

“I need a drink,” Vince said solemnly. “A very stiff one.”

“Dave’s probably having a stiff one right now,” Daryl said with a straight face, before everyone burst out laughing, even Vince.

#dalan #pizzaverse #fanfiction

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persephonesfill · 4 years ago

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choke on me—chapter three

breathe me in (prequel fic)

chapter two

chapter four

a/n: no you did not read that wrong, this is chapter three. i’m not dead. 2020 did not kill me. this is a bit of a filler chapter but chapter four should be up before the month’s over. if not, yell at me, i won’t mind.

rating: pretty gen this time but don’t worry chapter five is a goddamn trip

warning(s): n/a

—————

Despite being on opposite sides of the country, Tony and Pepper talk more often than people think. Pep’s an early riser, and Tony hasn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since he was born, so it balances out.

“I should tell you to go to sleep,” Pepper says, sighing. “But I miss the sound of your voice too much.” She’s sitting at the island, a cup of coffee in hand. She had pulled her hair into a bun and still has her reading glasses on, the red ones that she hates because she thinks she looks like someone's grandmother.

Tony loves seeing her like this. Loose and comfortable with him. After they broke up, a part of him worried that things would be strained between them. He should have known that was impossible.

“I don’t know whether to be happy or insulted,” Tony says.

“Both,” Pepper says. “Your sleeping habits are abysmal.”

Tony shrugs and takes a sip of his own coffee. He had always had issues with sleep. He woke up frequently throughout the night and would only start feeling sleepy around two in the morning to the point where attempting to sleep at all felt like a waste of time. Give him a cup of coffee with four shots of espresso, and he'd be good to go.

“You can’t deny that I’m more productive, though,” he says.

“Okay, you do work hard,” Pepper admits, pursing her lips. “But you work too hard. When’s the last time you had a day to yourself that you didn’t spend in your workshop?”

Usually, Tony's quick with a quip, but Pepper's question makes him pause. Last week, Steve asked Tony if he wanted to join him on his run around Bryant Park, and what had Tony said? "No." Like an idiot. It's not that he hadn't wanted to go; it was just that between SI and Avengers business and—

Tony was making excuses. Even he could see that. Hook-ups? Hook-ups Tony could do, specialized in, even, but Steve's question had ventured dangerously into "date" territory. The last time Tony had tried to seriously date was when he was with Pepper, and that had been a piping hot mess in the end.

"Tony? Hello? I swear to God if you've just been using your life model decoy on me, I'm going to fly directly to Manhattan just to—"

"What? No!" He says, raising his hands. Hell hath no fury like a Pepper scorned. "I'm here, in the flesh. I just got...distracted. I guess I haven't really taken a day for myself."

Pepper sets her mug down and levels him with a stern look that puts him in the mind of a school principal.

"Tony," she says in that way of hers that usually means she's worried about him, and Tony's heart twists. "Is everything okay?"

Tony's not a liar, but he does believe in omitting information.

"Everything's as good as I can hope for, Pep. I'm going to therapy, and I'm still taking my meds. You know how it is," he says, shrugging. "Some days are better than others."

Pepper nods, looking a little less concerned, which is all Tony can ask for. "And the others? They're not bothering you?"

It takes him a second, but Tony realizes that she's talking about the Avengers. He shakes his head. "They're fine. It's...weird living with so many people," he says. Tony had lived alone for half of his life now, aside from that brief stint in Malibu with Pepper. "They leave coffee grounds in the sink, and last week, Romanov and Barton convinced JARVIS to play Iron Man every time I went into my workshop and—"

"You like them, don't you?" Pepper says. It's not a question.

He does like them. The entire time he had been complaining about them, he knew his face had been stretched into a grin.

"Maybe so. It's refreshing having another scientist to go mad with," he says, smiling devilishly when Pepper pales.

"Oh, God, you've corrupted Bruce. There's two of you now."

"Okay, I take offense to that," he interjects. "Bruce keeps me in line, promise.”

“Give him my thanks,” Pepper says. "Is it just Bruce? What about the others? How do you feel about them?"

He speaks without thinking, something you'd think wouldn't happen so often to a literal genius. "Steve's been...Steve's been good." More than good, actually.

Pepper raises a brow. "It's Steve now? What happened to Rogers? Capsicle? Any other one of your incessant nicknames?"

He's been caught. Lying isn't even an option; Pepper would sniff out the truth like a bloodhound. She was like Natasha in that way. If those two ever team up again, Tony feels sorry for whichever poor soul they set their sight on.

His only choice is to play it cool. "First off, you know you love my nicknames, case in point, Pepper," he says, knowing damn well she hadn't gone by Virginia since she started working for him. "And…it's Steve now. He's not so bad when you get to know him."

Pepper looks unconvinced, but mercifully, she lets it go. "Hmm. You guys are friends now?"

No. Never. Not even close.

"What can I say?" Tony gives her his cheesiest grin. "I wore him down."

She rolls her eyes, but it's all in good fun. "Well, then, I'm happy for you. You deserve all the love that comes your way."

"Ugh, don't get all sappy on me," he jokes, even though his heart spasms in his chest. He doesn't love the Avengers, and he doesn't—

He doesn't love Steve either.

And they don't love him back.

Pepper's eyes soften. "Tell you what," she begins, "since you're so adamant on working too hard to have some fun, how about I do it for you?"

Tony latches onto the change of subject like the lifeline it is. "What do you have in mind?"

"Carmen Solomita is doing a fundraiser event for A Helping Hand. Does that sound up your alley?"

Carmen Solomita was an old friend from his prep school years. A fellow gifted kid, and the daughter of the iconic Italian husband-wife fashion designer duo, Isabela and Marcello Solomita, it was a no brainer that Tony and Carmen would become friends.

She had followed in her parents' footsteps, designing luxury clothes and even starting her own separate fashion house right here in Manhattan.

“What’s she doing this year?” he asks.

“She’s organizing a week-long carnival in upstate New York for local orphanages. Think you or any of the others would be interested in working a booth?” Pepper says. “Having all of the Avengers show up would drum up a lot of publicity.”

Tony furrows his brows. A carnival does sound fun, and he has no problems with running a booth. It’s the others that are a problem.

“Don’t you think six, let alone one Avenger, would take away from the cause? And that’s if they even agree to it.”

Pepper raises her hands. “Just throwing it out there. Again, you need a break. And think of the kids when they see your faces.”

Tony’s face wrinkles. So, maybe, he has a soft spot for orphans. He still can’t help but feel like Pepper has some ulterior motive.

“I’ll ask,” Tony says, caving. “And if they say no, I’m not forcing them to go. Tell Carmen she’s getting one Avenger, at the least.”

“Yes! I knew you’d come around.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, Tony.”

***********

Tony broaches the topic of Carmen’s carnival at dinner and immediately braces himself for the worst. He’s not a pessimist by any means, but he sure as hell doesn’t expect the best from people whenever he asks them for a favor.

There’s a pause as they take the time to ponder over what he said, long enough to make Tony squirm.

God, why did he even ask? He should have just told Pepper that the others were all unavailable or—

“What kind of carnival?” Clint asks, breaking Tony out of his reverie.

"I'm sorry," Tony blinks. "Are you actually considering this?"

Clint shrugs. "What's not to like? Just want to know what we'd be doing."

"Um, okay," Tony says. He's never, never been at a loss for words in his life, and yet...

"We'd just be running booths, meet and greets, that sort of stuff. Nothing too crazy," Tony says. Pretty run of the mill stuff for a fundraising event.

"And the charity, A Helping Hand, was it?" Natasha says. "One of yours?"

"No," he replies. "Carmen Solomita's. She's big on philanthropy, always trying to help out in some way or another. She's always been like that."

"Solomita?" Natasha asks. "Fashion designer Carmen Solomita?"

"That's the one," he says, some of his initial anxiety ebbing away. They weren't saying no. Not yet. Or maybe they were just trying to let him down gently.

"She an old flame of yours?" Clint says, and Tony tries to ignore how quickly Steve's head turns to look at him.

"No," Tony says immediately, putting an end to any questions before they can begin. "We've been friends since high school. It'd be like dating my sister." Not to mention Carmen had known him when he had still been under five feet and had a mouth full of metal. Any attraction on her part had either never existed or died as soon as Tony had opened his mouth.

"Hm," Natasha says. Tony's still learning how to speak Natasha fluently, but it's apparently enough for Clint.

"Alright, I'm in," he says. "Dibs on the sharpshooting booth."

"You can't call dibs on a booth," Natasha says, rolling her eyes. "And it's mine."

"I'll arm wrestle you for it."

"No," Tony says, pointing a finger at them. "The last time you two arm-wrestled at this table, you split it in half. You'll be assigned whatever booth is available."

Clint grumbles something under his breath, and Tony closes his eyes.

"I think you annoyed Mom," Natasha whispers, and really, for a spy, she sucks at being quiet.

But if he was mom, who was dad?

"Enough, you guys," Steve says, backing him up. "Stop messing around."

"Thank you," Tony says, massaging his temple, trying to stop his stress headache before it begins."It's like having children."

"Am I your favorite?" Clint asks with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"No, it's Bruce," he answers immediately, his voice deadpan.

"...You answered that insultingly fast."

"You asked," Tony says. "Speaking of Bruce, Brucie, you've been quieter than normal. What's going on in that brilliant head of yours?"

Tony doesn't want to put him on the spot, but he knows Bruce will just try his best to brush his problems under the rug.

Bruce is staring down at his plate, poking absentmindedly at his pasta with his fork. "I don't think I should go," he says.

"And why not?" Thor, of all people, asks. The god levels Bruce with a heavy stare. "You deserve to amuse yourself like the rest of us."

"Is that a joke?" Bruce says, throwing his fork down, sending it clattering against his plate. "Do you really think unleashing a big green rage monster at a carnival with children present is a bright idea?"

"Where's this monster you speak of?" Thor says. "I don't see one."

"Come on," Bruce mutters.

"I don't see one, either," Tony says. "I see a genius nuclear physicist who moonlights as an equally amazing superhero."

"And I see a kind, honest man who would never harm anyone intentionally," Steve says, jumping in.

Bruce purses his lips but based on the flush spreading across his face, Tony can tell they're wearing him down.

Oddly enough, it's Natasha who reels him in. "I've seen a lot of monsters in my life, Banner. You're not one of them."

Bruce chuckles, but it's not a happy sound. Tony's familiar with it enough to know that it's chock full of bitterness.

"I'll be there with you," Thor says, his voice a soft timber. "I won't let anything happen to you. None of us will."

"...It's not me you should be worrying about," Bruce says. "But...if you're going...I guess it'll be fine."

Thor smiles, looking every inch the god he is. "We'll have a grand time, Doctor Banner."

Dinner ends quickly after that, the others petering off until it's just Steve and Tony left sitting at the table.

Tony's glad the Avengers are helping him out, honestly. It's just...the thought of six Avengers...around young, impressionable children…

"Oh, God," he says aloud, burying his face into his hands.

He can hear Steve stand up, rounding up the dishes left behind. "It's not going to be that bad," he says.

"We don't know that," Tony says, his voice muffled. He looks up to see Steve raising a judgmental brow at him. "I'm letting not one, but two master assassins, the Hulk, and a fucking god, interact with children."

"They'll be on their best behavior," Steve says. "Thor said he'll keep an eye on Bruce, and I know for a fact that wherever Clint goes, Natasha's gonna follow and vice versa."

"And that doesn't worry you?"

"No, because I actually have faith in our teammates. Clint's not gonna peg a kid with an arrow just because he feels like it. He's not the type."

Tony sighs but damn it, Steve's right. He's always right. Tony doesn't know much about Clint's life before SHIELD and the Avengers, but he knows it wasn't pretty. Seemed to be a common theme amongst their little team.

"Must have a shitty parental figure in order to be a superhero," he thinks to himself.

He rises out of his seat and grabs the few dishes that remain. Tony helps Steve load up the dishwasher. He tries not to think about how domestic it all feels, how it's practically become routine for Tony and Steve to look after the others and put away their dishes. He doesn't know what it means, but he has the strangest feeling that Pepper is smiling to herself halfway across the country.

***********

Carmen's beyond delighted when Tony gives her the good news over the phone the next day. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Her voice still does that weird squeaky thing when she gets really excited.

"One more thank you, and you're going to rupture my eardrum," he says, holding his phone to his ear. He's making breakfast, which for him consists of swiping a yogurt cup and spoon from the kitchen.

"I'll stop shouting," she says, which is a complete lie. "I just can't believe the Avengers are going to be at my fundraiser!" Case in point.

There's still that gnawing pit in his stomach at the thought of the Avengers running rampant around a carnival, but they could use the publicity. Maybe it'd calm down some of those Daily Bugle conspiracy theorists who thought that the Avengers were Chitauri shapeshifters who actually started the invasion. Tony has a video of J. Jonah Jameson screaming about it saved to his phone whenever he needs a good laugh.

"I know, I'm amazing," Tony says around a mouthful of yogurt.

"You are, and I will literally owe you for the rest of my life," she replies.

"I want your firstborn child," Tony says.

"Done," Carmen says without missing a beat. "That's how serious I am."

He can't help but chuckle to himself. Talking to Carmen was always so fun. She had the same (admittedly dorky) sense of humor as him. He remembered the days when they sit in the back of their homeroom, laughing at each other's stupid jokes over the morning announcements while their teacher gave them death glares. They kept in touch after graduation but not enough for Tony's tastes.

"But seriously, how does it feel to be a superhero? You guys all live together, don't you? Oh my God, you're just like firefighters. Do you have a little pole you slide down when there's an emergency? Ooh, is there an alarm—"

"Carmen, cool it before you pop a blood vessel," he says, mentally filing away the idea to add a pole leading directly to the tower's hangar. "And I promise you can grill them when you see them at the carnival."

"I'm holding you to that, Stark."

"Figured you would."

"Smart boy," Carmen says. "Any questions, comments, or concerns you want to pass along?"

"Actually," Tony begins, his brain chugging along at its usual speed of light. "I have some requests…"

Two weeks later, the look on everyone else's face when Tony presents them with the matching t-shirts he designed is more than worth the hour of alone time he promised her with Natasha.

“She’s so mysterious,” Carmen had said over the phone. “Tony, I need to see if she’s as calculating as she comes off.”

“Why,” he had said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I’m bisexual and have no sense of self-preservation. It’s why we’re friends,” she had chirped.

He didn't blame her, though. Had he not jumped at every chance to hook up with Steve like his teenage self would have wanted?

"Is this another one of your strange Midgardian customs?" Thor says, holding the t-shirt out in front of him. They're done up in his signature hotshot red, of course with Carmen's charity, A Helping Hand on the front, but the back is the real masterpiece. Under the words, Super Helper was a personalized emblem meant to represent each one of the Avengers. Mjolnir for Thor, Cap's Shield for Steve, a bow and arrow for Clint, and so on so forth.

"...Is it weird that I kind of actually like these?" Clint whispers to Natasha, who's tracing the lines of her hourglass on her shirt.

"You would like them," she says.

Tony blinks. "I can...get us normal shirts?"

"Nope, too late," Clint says, shrugging his shirt on over the long sleeve he had been wearing. "I've already grown attached.”

Tony looks at each of them head-on, noting the way Natasha’s slender fingers dance over the cotton and Thor’s curious gaze as he inspects the true to life runes Tony had painstakingly copied from the real-life Mjolnir. Bruce looks at the fist clutching the beaker on his shirt like it holds all the secrets to the universe, and Steve—Steve’s not looking at the shirt at all. He’s looking at Tony. Of course, he is.

Tony's always liked puzzles, and right now, the biggest puzzle of them all is what exactly made Steve's face go slack, his eyes all clear and soft and staring directly at him.

Tony shakes his head, clearing his head of puzzles and Steve and piercing stares.

"So," Tony says, "we're good to go?"

Later on, when they're all piled into Tony's limo like they're going on a field trip, Steve texts him even though they're sitting right next to each other.

It's just four words, but it's enough to make Tony blush. He facepalms, under the pretense of annoyance at something one of the others had said.

"I'm proud of you," follows him all the way to upstate New York.

#stony #steve rogers #tony stark #stevetony #steve x tony #superhusbands #marvel #mcu #imperialstark fic #my fic #my writing #choke on me

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 4 years ago

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Winner’s Curse Ch. 22

“Please please come in quickly,” the honorable wizard Yen Sid urged Uma, barely muffling his own coughs from the dusty air of Judge Frollo’s “house.” Quite ironically or perhaps more telling, Judge Frollo’s abode was the basement of a brothel. A cruel twist of temptation or perhaps a house of convenience since it was no secret that Frollo indulged in his hypocritical desires while preaching at his imaginary pulpit during the day.

But Uma wasn’t here to hear how she was destined for hell. It was night, the perfect time to meet the rest of the Anti-Villain Club while Frollo was away.

It felt like the situation was getting more dire the more time past. Amplified by the restlessness Uma felt because they weren’t getting anything done!

Sometimes Uma wanted to give in to her temptation to just dump the Auradonians for themselves. They didn’t really offer her any information or skills that she needed. Plus, they were slow at best. Uncaring and disobedient at worse, far more concerned with their own problems and feelings. They didn’t know how to work with a team or for a cause other than themselves.

Such royal behavior. Must be nice to put your moods first when your need for food, shelter and safety were never in question.

So it was a breath of fresh air to meet with the Anti Villains. Though they did not give her the assuring efficiency of her pirate crew, they were still Vks, her people. And she would need all the allies she could get if they were to stop the Coven.

Yen Sid gestured to the faded rug with, of course, an image of a man bleeding and crucified while a red devilish monster stabbed at his torso with a pitchfork.

Frollo’s erstwhile, rebellious daughter, Claudine took the head of the rug with Diego De’Vil and Yzla on both sides of her. Harold, Jason, Hadie, Big Murph, Hermie Bing, Eddie Balthazar, Celia and a blonde girl that Uma didn’t recognize rounded out the rest of the circle. Uma took place across from Claudine and Yen Sid stood by, pacing around.

“What news can you give us?” Yen Sid asked, starting the meeting abruptly.

Uma hadn’t noticed when Yen Sid signalled to her from the alleyways but the elder wizard looked even older. He was hunched over, not from age but like there was an invisible yoke on his shoulders. His face was riddled with new lines of wrinkles, stress and fatigue. And he was pale. So pale.

Uma had seen that sort of sickly paleness before. The sheen of sweat from a non-existent flu. He looked like death. The Isle after 20 years was starting to take its toll.

Though Uma had no personal attachment to the wizard nor did she care for his method of teaching goodness so Vks would be accepted in Auradon, when they should be accepted because they like any other person should have a home without abuse or poverty, she respected what he was trying to do. He didn’t see them all as one mass of worthless deviants to be scorned and ignored. He could have stayed in Auradon, doing nothing like all the rest of the so-called good guys, but he didn’t.

And this place was slowly killing him.

This place was going to be the death of all them if Uma’s revolution didn’t work.

Uma cracked her neck, inhaled and began to brief them, even though her report didn’t offer much encouragement that their plans were going to be successful.

“Our communications link with King Ben no longer works thanks to the Isle’s crappy service. However, we were able to inform him that the invasion is taking place in less than a week before we were cut off.” “Circe is officially on our side and will assist Yen Sid on more complex, powerful spells against Nerissa and the others.”

“The rest of the Coven-” “Believes.. Well actually tolerates the idea that you and Calix are still loyal. Lala still is on their side but Jade thinks she can convince her to switch again. Zevon and Ginny are lost causes. But you are going to round up your crew, and Harriet’s crew for extra manpower.” Yzla interrupted, and shrugged at Uma’s glare, “Jade told me.” “Ah yes.” Uma pursed her lips, shaking it off to not act too ruffled. She had been aware that Yzla and Jade were close but she didn’t particularly like that they were discussing things without her. That’s how plans got overturned. And people were overthrown.

Uma pushed that thought away as too paranoid. After all, they were all here for the same thing. Escape, not power.

“Yes, so you already know that. I do believe we will be able to persuade the rest of the Isle on our side.” “Wait the rest of the Isle. Like you mean some other kids right? Or the Hun gang. Not not the whole Isle?” Eddie asked. “I meant the rest of the Isle. The adult henchmen. The orphaned kids. The Huns, the mercenaries, the prostitutes. Anyone and everyone who has no power or big villain names.” The rest of the club looked at turns confused, intrigued and disbelieving at her.

“They are like us. They gain nothing from the Coven gaining more power. They get everything if they helped the revolution. No more oppressors. And a promise from King Ben to take all of us off the Isle to better housing, new jobs and actual food. A better life.”

“Whether Mal likes it or not.” Uma added internally. That had been the one thing she managed to speak to King Ben about, and surprisingluy he agreed wholeheartedly. He had seemed horrified when she described the living conditions that children dealt with. The way teens had turned to violence among other things to survive their abusive parents. He didn’t think he’d be able to convince Auradon should be abolished completely. Big villains would probably stay indefinitely. But he was welcome to her suggestions for programs to hep Vks.

“That’s why I need your input. King Ben is putting me in charge of VK Integration Programs and I want to know what we need.” “Uh, that’s nice. A truly Christian thing to do,” Claudine sneered saracastically, she had always been the most doubting of anyone having good intentions what with who she had for a father, “But shouldn’t we get out of here before we plan any VK Integration Programs?”

“This is part of how we are going to persuade the rest of the Isle to help us,” Uma smoothly bridged the two disparting ideas, “We need solid plans with how, what, when. Something solid and real that people can imagine and believe in. When the other Vks and adults hear of these programs, these programs that are as real as when King Ben invited the Core Four, they will be willing to fight for their chance to get in. They will rise up against the Coven so that they could be free.”

Claudine and Diego still looked suspicious, but Jason, Harold, and Big Murph practically had stars in their eyes. Hermie was smiling shyly and Hadie was tapping his chin thoughtfully. He was the first to pitch in.

“I think there should be something for the victims of Hans and Lars.” Everyone turned to look at him which caused the spiky-blue haired teen to flush and clam up. , Uma nodded empathetically, “Continue.” “Well, I mean-uh.Well we all had it bad. But Prince Hans is another level of bad. I went there once with dad for one of Staylan’s parties and I lurked around and man, that dude is nuts. He has photos of his “harem” all “sexy bruised” and stuff. And Lars…”

Uma narrowed her eyes. She didn’t need Hadie to elaborate on Lars. Gil had already told her everything she needed to know about the icy sadist. It was a term that was generally thrown around for an island full of villains with bloodlust, but Gil described the sickeningly calm way Lars acted. How Lars almost described it in seductive terms the way a whip would constrict a person’s throat until the breath left them. The calculating gaze he’d watch the ones he picked as “lovers.” Apparently a sadism that he picked up from his dad.

“Yeah, everyone knows Drizella is his favorite. Poor Dizzy.” Eddie shook his head.

Dizzy had always been left alone with her grandmother, Lady Tremine, but Uma had always assumed that Drizella, like almost all the parents on the Isle, was neglectful and uncaring. She hadn’t thought that Drizella may have been dealing with her own things.

And why wouldn’t she? That was Gil’s mother had to go through everyday with being Gaston’s unfavorite. While Uma was more concerned with the kids on the Isle, she could see now that some adults may need help too.

“Great. Center for sadist victims. What else have we got?”

“Do we have to go to school if we go to Auradon? I just don’t think I need it. My band is doing pretty well and I bet those royal dorks never heard music like mine.” Diego mock-shredded on his guitar

Uma cocked her head. She got his point. She didn’t think there was anything Auradon Prep had that could teach her anything useful. Like smizing as she heard from Celia Faciliar’s letters from Freddie. Plus there were some teens near adulthood like Harriet who probably wouldn’t want to be forced into classes when they could get jobs. Same with adults who never learned to read in their lives and still didnt want to.

“I’ll talk about it with King Ben. What else?” Uma said.

“Food that isn’t covered with flies. Fresh food, not trash.” Hermie said.

“Uh that’s just a given. None of their food is rotten.” Celia told the lithe brunette before Uma could clarify that good food comes with the territory.

Several ideas were thrown around, but the main ones came down to food, homes away from the possible revenge of their parents and others, and none of the Goodness 101 that Celia heard Freddie taking.

“Great. Now the important thing is that you spread the word of these programs to the other. You have to make people want this badly enough that they will fight. Act like its their only chance because it is. From there, I will send my crew to organize them to key points and learn some better and dirtier fight tactics.” Uma announced.

The rest of the Club nodded somberly at the announcement. There was not much emotion from Uma’s command. No relief, excitement or even nervousness. Just a numb sort of nod that they understood. But the words, “This is your only chance,” clearly rang in their heads.

It was now or never.

Everyone slowly got up to leave, thinking their own thoughts except the blonde who slipped to walk next to Uma, expertly slinking through the alleyways.

“Hi, um, I know we haven’t met before but um.. I’m Cosette.” The literally dirty blonde introduced in a fake high voice, clearly highlighting her nervousness, “I’m Gaston’s daughter. Gil’s half sister? You know Gil right? I mean, of course you do. I’ve seen him and everyone knows he hangs with you. I’m sorry I’m babbling. It’s just this is all so new-”

Uma stopped walking so she could give her her full attention. Yes, now that she stopped to actually look at Cosette, she could see a bit of the resemblance. The blonde hair, the high forehead and cheekbones. She looked older, maybe Harriet’s age, though her ample chest peeking from her corset gave the impression of a woman in her 20s. Unlike Gil, she didn’t have the usually confused look in her eyes. Just scared.

That look heightened Uma’s protective instincts. The helpless usually did that, as unvillainous as that was, plus the Gil resemblance.

“Why haven’t I heard of you before?” Uma asked skeptically even though she was pretty sure Cosette was honest.

“Um I’m a girl. Dad wouldn’t acknowledge me. Actually he tried to throw me away and try again which is why Mom left and… it seemed safer to avoid him. But- but I heard from Celia about this Anti-Villain Club when I went in for a reading, and Celia said you’d come so I thought I’d ask you. You know, for permission.” Uma thought. The story was realistic enough. But there was too much to do right now to focus on a family reunion. Unless…

“I will. You have my word. But first, how good would you say your fighting and/or spying skills?”

#uma #celia facilier #hermie bing #eddie balathazar #winner’s curse #yen sid #cosette legume #hadie #claudine frollo #big murph #diego de’vil #yzla #jason #harold #anti villain club #my fanfic #my fanfiction #disney descendants #chapter twenty two

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lisinfleur · 4 years ago

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T&T - Chapter 16: Scars (Final)

Author’s Notes | One more finished work! Man, I’m so proud of this one! I really hope you guys enjoyed it! Especially you, sweet @honestsycrets, who inspired my dear Iliana! Love you! Words | 3712 ⁑ Warnings: Mentions of death, violence, blood.

The Great Hall was full.

The last time Ivar could remember seeing his house full of people like that, with all his brothers reunited, it was when they were planning the Great Heathen Army's incursion.

One year before everything went down into the dark.

Less than one year before they lost Sigurd for his own lack of control.

"You're thinking too much for a happy day, brother," it was Hvitserk to call his attention this time.

But Ivar sighed, looking at the two of them near him. He had settled four chairs to be placed at the main table: one for Hvitserk at the right, one for Iliana, empty by his side, one for himself and another in the middle, for Ubbe who would be announced the future king of Kattegat in that same event.

His older brother was already in between the Earls, speaking and making connections, probably spreading the news slowly to make them more receptive to what they wanted to announce. Iliana didn't have come yet - she was probably finishing the instructions to Vali's wet nurse of that night so she could come and sit by his side.

"I was remembering, Hvitserk," Ivar said, sipping from his cup. "One year before our father's vengeance, our hall was full of earls like this, do you remember?"

Hvitserk sighed.

It was the day he came back from the Mediterranean Sea with deceased Björn right on time for him to stop Ubbe and Ivar's attempt to take revenge for their mother's murder over the new queen, the now also deceased Lagertha.

The beginning of the end for them.

"Memories, Ivar. The best we can do is to forget them," Hvitserk said, sipping from his cup as well.

The earls coming in and out of the hall, speaking. Some of them drinking and laughing at Ubbe's circle.

"I rather keep them," Ivar said, attracting Hvitserk's glare. "They remember me of what we had that was the best and doesn't let me forget the lessons I've learned from my mistakes."

Hvitserk smiled. It was a good reason to remember.

"I miss Sigurd's oud in these moments," He said, taking the wave of Ivar's vibes. "He was good in making parties funnier."

Ivar then looked at the small band, clapping his hands and waving them for the music to change into something more animated before he could look at Hvitserk with agreement in his face.

"Sigurd didn't have to be called up for good music indeed."

Hvitserk giggled.

Sigurd would like to mock Ivar forever for that praise. But it was true: his younger brother never had to be called up for good music to be played in their parties. Maybe Ubbe's son who was carrying his uncle's name would end up learning the oud as well or inheriting the talent Sigurd didn't have children to pass forward.

The high spot of that night was coming and Iliana finally entered the hall in a beautiful dress that attracted Ivar's eyes - and half of the eyes in the Hall as well. But she ignored all the pair of eyes, walking straight towards her king, caressing his face and gently kissing his lips before sitting beside him, causing a salve of frustrated sighs all over the hall and Ubbe's small laugh when some of the Earls came to ask if that was really his brother's wife or some missed daughter Ragnar had left behind in England - for their luck, of course.

"I would take care with my words, my friends. The woman you just saw is not my sister but my sister in law, married to your king and mother of his firstborn. I suggest you respect her or else my brother may choose to show you all his aim is still the same... But it's just my advice," Ubbe answered.

Smiling with the memory it wasn't the first time he was kinda defending Ivar in a situation like that, lifting his cup to his brother in a salutation Ivar answered from the throne, smiling at him.

Like the old times... The good old times he was glad to see coming back into their lives.

Good for ones, not that good for others: Iliana’s eyes noticed when the two brothers started crossing the crowd, passing through Ubbe to approach the king.

Their sudden approaching causing Ivar's men to touch their swords and Hvitserk to release his cup over the table landing his hand over the sword as well. Ivar straightened himself at the chair as Iliana held his hand tight, almost clenching his fingers. His blues catching her expression of recognition: she knew those men.

"May I ask why so hurried, my friends?" Ubbe interposed himself in front of the men and Algor raised his hand pointing straight towards Iliana.

"I knew it was you!" he growled as Asir turned himself to speak with the three kings, all of them annoyed with their attitude.

"The woman beside King Ivar... She's a murderer, my lord!" he accused.

His words opening a clearer in the middle of the crowd, creating a space where the earls retrieved themselves and Ivar's men stepped forward, prepared to battle if necessary.

There weren't too many of the brother's men with them - they weren't expecting such an event would happen. However, Asir and Algor decided to test their kings and try their luck to have their vengeance conceded and maybe some credit with the new kings for pointing what was an obvious threat for King Ivar's life in their minds.

Ubbe turned himself to look at Ivar with a worried frown, but his little brother's lips contorted in an ironic smile.

"You may be Algor... And Asir. Am I wrong?" he asked, lifting Iliana’s tense hand in between his fingers, caressing her fingers with his thumb in a sign for her to calm down, causing Algor's body to shiver, tense.

"She spoke about us, I suppose," Asir said, looking at Ivar.

Algor had his eyes fixed in Iliana’s rigid figure over that chair.

How could his brother's murderer be sitting beside a king like a queen? How could that bitch he fucked so many times now be something bigger than himself? Algor just couldn't accept her skin so clean, covered in such silky tissues and beautiful glowing jewels! She was supposed to be dead and he wouldn't leave that hall without her blood in his hands, he thought.

"Oh, she did," Ivar giggled.

Causing Ubbe to frown more seriously and Hvitserk, more curious.

"Ivar, what are they talking about?" Ubbe questioned.

But Ivar just rose his fingers, asking mutely for Ubbe to wait.

He hadn't planned that moment, but he could explain everything to his brothers later when the time was proper. Now, his eyes landed on the pair of brothers in front of them, serene, but threatening.

"I suggest you step back, my friend," he advised Algor, noticing the man was about to climb on the first step of the stairs that would lead to his table, anxious for reaching the woman Ivar could see was prey in his eyes. "We're speaking about my queen and I really believe the two of you have no right to make such accusations."

"My lord," Asir tried to step forward but Ubbe moved, preventing him from advancing more. "This woman, she murdered our brother and sister in law in cold blood! She was once our slave we gifted to our brother in goodwill and she killed them both to flee! How come do you want us to accept as queen a woman that's nothing but our stolen property? Even more, one that has our kindred's blood on her hands?" he tried to speak beautiful words.

Convincing ones.

"Ivar?" Ubbe asked, really confused by his brother's smile towards those grave accusations.

Hvitserk had three extra wrinkles on his forehead: Iliana? That sweet woman that served him mead and lulled his nephew with such delicate hands... A murderer? In cold blood? The woman couldn't kill a fly!

"It's true," Iliana said, catching Ubbe's attention and printing one more wrinkle on Hvitserk's forehead. "I did kill them to flee, but because the would've killed me that night! I protected my own life after begging for your help and mercy!"

"It was their right!" Algor's voice was heard, full of anger. "You're nothing but a slave, woman! Your life belongs to your masters! If they decide to take it then you shall gladly accept your fate and thank if they want it to be painless!"

Ivar giggled and his laugh silenced everyone in the hall once again.

"You speak... As if she was yours yet," his voice sounded heavy and threatening. "You entered my hall, stood in front of me to accuse my queen, and to call me a thief..."

"I didn't..." Asir tried, but Ivar lifted his hand with a dagger between his fingers, shushing his voice.

"You said she was your 'stolen property' which makes me a thief in your words, my friend. However, when I found her, she was wandering around without a master. I took her with me and this woman saved my life, not once, but twice. The hands you accuse of murdering your brother and sister in law healed my wounds and saved my skin from death itself. This woman sacrificed her own dignity for what I needed and when I wasn't able to fight for myself, she was the one who endured the most terrible cruelties to keep me alive. So, I have my reasons to believe the gods gave her the strength to kill your kin so she would survive in my favor. As a man many times blessed by the gods, I believe fate has placed her where she is. So, my offer is simple: I'll pay you the price of a slave and the two of you will leave my Hall satisfied with the will of our gods. Or you can step forward against my queen and find your brother tonight in Valhalla, my friends. If he ever had the right to stand in the halls of the gods..." Ivar completed with a mocking smile that was really making Hvitserk confuse and causing all the triggers of Ubbe's mistrust to be pulled at the same time.

Was his little brother still that arrogant motherfucker of before? Was he still deluded of being one of the gods or favored by them?

Asir stepped back, trying to think.

He couldn't accept that woman would just live like a queen beside Ivar and nothing would be done for his brother's loss. He couldn't just stand there and accept the two silver coins they had paid for her and go back home with his head clear after pleading loyalty to her as queen beside his king!

"I don't think you're understanding the gravity of what we just said, my king," he tried one more time. "This woman is dangerous! She..."

"She's your queen, my dear friend. And she never offered me any danger. To be honest, the greatest danger I'm seeing in this hall at this moment is your brother's trembling hand over his sword's handle." Ivar insisted on the mocking tone.

And it was enough for Algor's wounded pride. He was holding that back for too long and he knew the hunters he paid to hunt her were killed by Ivar himself. Algor wouldn't handle any more of that boy's offenses - son of Ragnar or not, he was nothing but a man. And men fall...

"You won't prevent me from taking what's rightfully mine!" Algor declared, unsheathing his sword and advancing towards Iliana. "I'll ensure to cut your throat as you did to my sister in law, you bit..."

The word died in Algor's throat crossed by Ivar's dagger before he could take a second step, knocking him down on the stairs for Asir's despair.

"Algor! Brother!" he yelled, kneeling beside his brother's dead body as Algor's throat was bleeding a pool on Ivar's ground.

Hvitserk and Ubbe were astonished. Iliana sat pale beside Ivar's chair. But Ivar was cold to that man's suffering. He knew what they had done to Iliana. He knew all those marks in her skin, each one of them... He had lulled her nightmares, sent away her fears. He knew the men he was taking down deserved what he was doing, if not more.

Cold, he pulled one more dagger from his belt, swirling it and looking at Asir.

"My offer just dropped a little more, my friend. You can leave my hall now or you can die where you stand. And make me the favor to carry your trash with you."

"Ivar!" Ubbe growled, certain that he had taken the wrong side once again and come back to his brother's side was a mistake.

Maybe Ivar was still the same cruel monster he could remember and make peace to him was a huge misconception.

Asir got up with a feral growl, infuriated.

"You bastard!" he yelled. "You'll pay for what you did! Hear my words and mark them, Boneless! You and your bitch of a queen will pay with your lives for what you did today!" he threatened, walking back, intending to leave the hall as Ivar had given him the chance to do.

But as Asir walked through the hall towards the doors, Ivar sighed.

"I've heard you pretty well, my friend. And I've also learned the ones of your kind aren't up to give up on your promises of revenge, am I wrong?"

Asir turned himself to look at Ivar imposingly unsheathing his sword to point the king.

"You can be sure this sword will cross your chest and this whore you call a queen will be burned for her crimes along with your body, King Ivar!" he threatened again, mocking the word king with a tone full of contempt.

Unaffected, Ivar just nodded as if he was accepting Asir's words.

"This wouldn't be a pleasant fate for me and my wife... Then I suppose you'll understand I shall not give you the chance to try and make it real, my friend."

Asir's eyes got wide when he saw Ivar's hand moving, throwing a second dagger that crossed his head in the middle of his eyes, causing him to fall where he was, first on his knees, then with his head hitting the floor, sinking the dagger even more through his forehead. The tip of the blade popping out of the back of his head, bloodied.

"What in the nine realms just happened here?" Ubbe growled, full of fury.

And after waving his hand for the men to clean the hall, Ivar got up, keeping Iliana’s hand in between his fingers - despite how cold her fingers were and how she hid behind him from Ubbe's angry glare and Hvitserk's judgmental expression.

"My friends shall forgive me for this unfortunate episode. The Hall shall be cleaned and the feast will continue without any more interruptions, I suppose. Now please, forgive our absence, but your kings need a private talk. We'll be back in a while. Please, don't let this unhappy event prevent you from enjoying the feast." Ivar spoke to the Earls, pulling Iliana with him and looking at his brothers, expecting them to follow him to the map's room, where they could talk in private.

As soon as they arrived at the room, Iliana hid into Ivar's embrace, shaking.

"Shh... Don't worry, my queen. It's over now." Ivar started.

Not having time to hear her answer as Ubbe stormed into the room and Hvitserk closed the door behind them.

"You better have a pretty good explanation for what you just did! They were Earls, Ivar! Is this what you call a change, Hvitserk?" he questioned.

But Hvitserk was also full of curiosity and Ivar sighed, meek once again.

"I'm sorry about this awful show, my brothers. It wasn't how I was expecting this night to be, neither it was how I wanted to solve this situation. But you shall remember I told you, Ubbe, my wife had unfinished situations in Norway that I wanted to solve before we could leave," he started.

Causing Ubbe to cross his arms, annoyed.

"Uh? So what?" he asked.

And Ivar continued under Hvitserk's attentive eyes.

"Those men were prince Asir and prince Algor, brothers of prince Askold... My wife's former master," Ivar explained. "They weren't lying: Iliana was once a slave and she indeed killed her masters to flee after they've tortured her for months and intended to kill her with the Christians' bullshit about their Christ wounds. They've marked her several times in several different ways just to make her suffer for their pleasure, Ubbe. And in the end, her master's mistress wanted him to crown her with a crown of thorns and kill her so the bitch could bath in her blood! Iliana told me she begged for their help but the two bastards you just saw me killing denounced her for asking their mercy and instead of helping the poor thing, they offered their brother a new slave after he had killed her!"

Ivar's voice was sounding a little more emotive. And he turned himself towards Iliana, caressing her face.

"Show them, love," he asked.

Iliana nodded. She knew what he was talking about and she also knew that way, he could prove his words. She then proceeded to open her dress, turning her back to Ivar's brothers who watched in horror as she exposed her back skin, marked by Askold's hands and his wife's lust.

Ivar's eyes landed on Ubbe's blues, searching comprehension in his brother's old behavior.

"You once told me we shouldn't treat Margrethe like cattle. You said she wasn't cattle, but a human being," he repeated, remembering Ubbe from a lesson so long lost in time along with the slave's memory in his heart.

As Iliana closed her dress, Ubbe watched his little brother embrace becoming her refuge. And his heart understood how much love there was in between them both.

Ivar's arms closed around Iliana, nestling her to his chest where she sighed, safe. But his eyes were still on Ubbe's.

"I think I wasn't cruel enough to repair what they did to her, brother. But the gods gave me the chance to take them out of my wife's heels and free her from their chains. You were right, Ubbe. She's not cattle. She's my wife. And I'll protect her, no matter what."

Ubbe sighed.

His fury vanishing along with the judgment in Hvitserk's face.

"You've learned more from me than I could imagine," his voice sounded before Ubbe could slide his hand through his face, straightening his beard and sighing once again. "I misjudged the situation... But you cannot keep us uninformed like this anymore!" he advised.

And Ivar agreed, sighing as well.

"I should have told you before. But I wasn't expecting the two rats to come this soon. I'm not the same man, Ubbe. I do not expect you to trust me completely after all we lived together, but do not take me from my worst. The man you knew died too long ago. Oleg, Freydis, and their treason killed that stupid boy. And Iliana’s hands sculpted me into a man I want you to be proud of having beside you someday."

Ubbe looked at him.

Maybe someday...

"Someday," he settled, patting Ivar's shoulder.

A moment of silence was made between them all before Ubbe could break it.

"We should go back to the Hall. The Earls must be confused."

"You go... Go with him, Hvitserk. I'll be following the two of you soon." Ivar said, receiving an agreement nod from both of his brothers before they left the room and he could focus on dear Iliana.

But before he could say anything, she threw her hands around his neck, embracing him tightly.

Ivar embraced her waist, bringing her against his chest in a cozy embrace.

"I love you," she mumbled and he nestled his face into her neck, sighing, feeling the sweet perfume of her skin.

"I love you too, my heart. I love you too."

It was over. She was finally free.

And now he could move forward without anything from his past to lock him in place anymore.

Both of them were finally free to live their lives as what they were: each other's halves.

After that feast, with the crowns divided and territories established, Ivar and Iliana remained at Kattegat long enough for Torvi to arrive with Ubbe's children. Then, they departed to Ringerike for a visit, where they dropped Hvitserk in Frigga's warm arms along with his beautiful children and the notice of a fourth child to come after sweet Hillevi.

Their trip back home was calm. Sweet Vali almost all the time against his father's chest. A sweet memory Ivar was now reliving with his brand-new child resting against his chest on the balcony of their castle.

Vali was playing with his immediately younger brother Njörd - baptized like this for being produced at the sea, during that calm trip they enjoyed so much. Iliana was braiding their young princess' hair in a beautiful braid by Ivar's side.

"Done," she said. "Now go play with your brothers, Aslaug. And do not get your dress too dirty! Your uncles may arrive for dinner and I want you to be clean!" Iliana advised, watching as she ran towards the boys, smiling.

Her curly hair, black like her mothers. Blue eyes like her father's. Iliana smiled, nestling near Ivar's shoulder, caressing the baby boy's face against his chest.

"He sleeps so peacefully," She mumbled.

And he smiled.

"It's a thing with our children, isn't it? All of them love my chest to sleep." Ivar giggled.

"Aslaug is still jealous of him. She says Askel stole your chest from her." Iliana said, smiling at him.

"I'll take care of this jealous soon... Askel may be my peace, but she's my princess. She'll always be..."

"The light of your heart, I know," Iliana said, showing herself jealous for a joke.

"It seems jealousy is something of my girls, isn't it?" Ivar smiled, and she giggled, nuzzling her nose on his.

"So as the happiness, my king. So as the happiness..."

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stones-x-bones · 4 years ago

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Champlain Falling For You || Mina and Bex

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @drowningisinevitable and @inbextween SUMMARY: Mina takes Bex to the Champlain Falls and they have a nice trip. CONTENT: Domestic Abuse mentions, Soft Repressed Gays

While Champlain Falls was infamous for being a big “make out” or date spot, Bex was aware that there were many other things to do there, as well. It was a sight-seeing spot, after all. It didn't have to be about that. Plus, it was mostly high school kids that came up here for that, because it was here or Hanging Rock and people went missing here much less frequently. Not that they didn’t go missing here, but they usually turned up somewhere else, and there wasn’t really any spot in White Crest where people didn’t go missing. But that wasn’t really the reason Bex was nervous today, as she sat in Mina’s car on the short drive up to the falls. Technically you couldn’t drive all the way up to them, you had to drive to the park entrance and hike from there, but the path was flat enough that she didn’t have to worry too much about not owning a pair of hiking boots. Or the fact that she didn’t have a pair of jeans. She put on some pants that were close enough, and her favorite sweater, since it did still get cooler at nights. And also because it could help cover up the bite on her neck-- she didn’t need Mina worrying about that. Now all she had to do was concentrate hard enough to keep thoughts of wolves and beef jerky out of her head, and everything would be just fine!

When they pulled up, Bex glanced over at Mina. “You know, I’ve lived here almost all my life and I’ve never been up here. I”m kinda excited to see if it lives up to the hype.” She hopped out of the car and came around to meet Mina, smiling through a random thought that popped into her head that very much wasn’t her own. “Shall we?” Held out her hand.

It was always nice to get out and into nature, Mina always thought. She liked being out in the woods, especially if it meant that she got to be around water, even if she was always a little uncomfortable about that fact. It was just a part of who she was, and it did more harm than good to ignore it. She’d ventured out to Champlain Falls a few times, in her first months in White Crest, only to leave as quickly as she’d arrived. She could usually sense a lot of Fae around. She hoped that wasn’t the case, though, especially since they were going later in the evening, just before sunset. She should be allowed to be excited about this without worrying about something interrupting her and Bex hanging out. She’d had Morgan help her with a picnic, there was supposed to be a nice view of the stars, the weather was nice. She just wanted to enjoy this.

After parking, Mina got out and went to grab her backpack from the back seat, her boots crunching a bit on old leaves. She took a breath of fresh air, feeling calm and relaxed even with the iron knife sheathed on the side of her thigh, tucked into her boot with her jeans. Slinging the backpack over her shoulders, she brushed down the front of one of her dad’s old flannels, making sure the buttons were done up properly, and gave Bex a smile. “I’ve almost hiked out here a few times, but it was always a bit crowded for my taste.” She took Bex’s hand. “I’m excited, too, though. If nothing else, it’s a nice day for a walk.”

As Mina grabbed her bag and adjusted her shirt, Bex took a moment to take her in. She looked good in a flannel, even if it was a little wrinkled and one side of the collar was flipped up. Bex didn’t own many flannels, and the ones she did own were hidden in the back of her closet. Today she had on some leggings, a turtleneck sweater, and her short pants denim overalls. She hadn’t had a pair of boots, so she’d borrowed a pair of Deirdre’s and they looked clunky on her feet. Not that she minded too much. She squeezed Mina’s hand back, but before they headed out, she reached over and flattened her collar down. “You look nice in this shirt,” she smiled, “I don’t think I’ve seen you wear a flannel before. You should do it more often.” She didn’t know the way up there, and let Mina take the lead as they headed down the path. She could already hear the falls already, as they echoed through the tall trees around them. The air smelled fresh out here, too, and Bex made a mental note to herself that she really needed to get out more. Maybe now that she had someone to go places with it would be easier. Being alone in the forest seemed frightening to her. “You know, I heard people go swimming up here a lot, too. I’d probably only do that if there was like, no one else around, though. I wonder if we’ll see anyone jumping off the cliffs.”

“Has my collar been like that this entire time?” Mina muttered, trying not to appear mortified. “I thought it was fine when we left. Still, I, ah, I appreciate that. I mean, I wear it sometimes. You just usually see me when I’m at school or dressed down in sweats.” She did make a note to maybe start wearing a few more of her flannels, though. There was no telling how many she owned, at this point. She couldn’t help but grin as she looked at Bex, tugging at one of the straps of her overalls to make sure it was firmly in place on the younger girl’s shoulder. “I like your outfit, too. It’s cute.” She started them down the trail, picking out the sounds of water. It was almost a bit like a call, like her body trying to push her in a direction to find a new home. Morgan and Deirdre’s pool was nice. It was fine. It healed her, and it was a place to lay her head and breathe. But it wasn’t a home. Her body wanted nature, not just water but rock and dirt and life. She had to remind herself that wants were not necessities and that she was doing fine, really. “I’ve heard that, too. I’ve thought about coming here for that, cliff diving.” Not around Bex, though. Not when there was the possibility she wouldn’t be able to control herself, even though she was doing better about not going scaly when they stuck their feet in the pool. “It’s a bit cold for swimming, though, for now at least.”

“Not the whole time, probably just when you put your bag on,” Bex grinned. “Fair. Just saying, you could stand to wear it more.” She leaned into Mina as she tugged on her shoulder strap and bumped her shoulder gently. “Why, how sweet of you. I appreciate the compliment,” she said with a wink, stretching out the word appreciate with a hand gesture to go along with it. People always said the appeal of nature was the quietness that came with it, but Bex had never found nature to be that quiet. Maybe it was because there wasn’t enough stuff going on around for her to concentrate on, so, instead, she heard a million and one thoughts inside her own head, instead. “Wait, you wanna try cliff diving? Doesn’t that, like, scare you? I’d be way too afraid to hit a rock, or land wrong on the water and smack something. I don’t know if I could watch you do that.” She winced a little, but looked back over at Mina with a grin. “Oh, yeah, definitely too cold. I get cold really easily anyway. And,” she finished, waggling a finger, “we came here for other things. As long as we make it by sunset, I think we should be okay. I brought my camera, too. For pictures of the waterfall. Don’t worry, I won’t take any of you.” She grinned. “Probably.”

“Well, okay, that makes it a little better.” Mina rolled her eyes. “I try to look semi-professional when I’m teaching a class, you know. But I’ll consider wearing flannels more, if you think they look nice.” She scrunched up her nose a bit as she attempted to hide a smile. “Laying that one on a bit thick, aren’t you?” She pulled her backpack straps up a bit tighter with one hand, the other still holding Bex’s. She felt nice. Happy, even. She wanted this to be something good for both of them, getting out of the house and off campus. “Bex, I’ve been cliff diving before. Quite a lot, actually. Usually if my dad and I would travel to places where there were any sort of waterfalls or steep cliffs, I would jump off. It’s not so scary after the first few times.” It even became something exhilarating, a willingness to let go of control, if only for a moment, and to just exist in the air as she plummeted before she hit the water. There was relief there. “You do get cold pretty easy. Don’t worry. We’re going to make it before sunset.” She looked at Bex, her eyes narrowed a bit. “Probably?” She stuck out her tongue.

“Somehow, I don’t think your students will think any less of you if you wear a flannel to teach,” Bex teased, “because I do think they look nice. Glad to know my opinion means more than your need to impress people like two years younger than you.” She just gave a chagrined smile but didn’t answer the tease. Spending time with Mina felt nice, no matter where they were, but she had to admit, being somewhere that wasn’t Morgan’s felt really nice. She leaned against Mina a little as they walked. “Okay, well, how I was supposed to know, little miss daredevil? Cliff diving is, objectively, frightening. And dangerous. And those are not things you’re allowed to argue with. Knowing my luck, I’d slip right as I went to--” Bex stopped mid sentence as a string of thoughts ricocheted in her head and she frowned. Shut up, Kyle! “Um...what was I saying? Sorry. Jump! Right as I went to jump. Have I mentioned I’m extremely clumsy?” Bex took a moment to glance away, taking in their surroundings. They must’ve been close by now, the water was getting louder and it almost sounded like wind rustling leaves. “Yes, probably. I know you said you hate pictures, but I wanna make memories. Things I can look at again.” Things that could make her happy when it felt like she never could be. “How cold do you think the water is right now?”

“They probably won’t, especially since they’ve watched me stumble in wearing sweatpants and a rather wrinkled shirt from a bar in Berlin after accidentally falling asleep at my desk again a few weeks ago, but still.” Mina didn’t mention that it was one of the nights she’d been scared to go back, afraid that someone was going to tell her that Bex’s sleeping condition had gotten worse. “I do try to maintain some level of professionalism. Flannel shirts scream ‘peer,’ not ‘girl that I should listen to because she’s the one that grades my quizzes.’ But your opinion does mean a great deal to me.” She snorted. “Doesn’t everything about me just scream that I’m a daredevil in all things?” She wasn’t. Mina was a coward. She kept trying to explain that, but it didn’t seem to click. She shot Bex a worried look. Sure, the younger girl tended to ramble (even if Mina would never call it that; besides, she did it, too), but she never spaced out in the middle of a sentence. Mina squeezed her hand to bring her back to the present. “I wouldn’t let you fall, you know. If you ever wanted to do it.” She could smell the water in addition to hearing it, clear and clean and nice. And, thankfully, she couldn’t sense other Fae. This could end up being a nice day, afterall. “Taking pictures of the falls would be memories enough?” she asked hopefully. “I might not even show up on camera, any. You don’t know.” She grinned cheekily, though. “Oh, it’s far too cold for you. I mean, I would be fine, but it’s pretty cold.”

“Oh, wow,” Bex couldn’t help the laugh that came out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but picturing you in that, sleep-deprived and standing in front of a bunch of also sleep-deprived kids, is probably one of the funniest things I’ve seen this week. Or, heard. But yes, I’m sure that was very professional of you. What, you don’t wanna be the cool teacher? The one all kids are buds with?” She liked this, this banter between them. She didn’t often feel relaxed or good enough around other people to be this way, but it almost came naturally with Mina. She was just...nice to be around. She chuckled again. “Good to know where I stand, then.” She put her hand up, level with her face. “Your students--” raised her hand above both their heads, “me.” Her boots scraped along the forest floor and she stumbled a little, squeezing Mina’s hand back. “Dammit, see? This is what I get for trying to make jokes. And you are, at least, to me. There’s many things you say you do that would make my heart stop, probably. Cliff diving included. I’d probably only jump if you jumped with me.” Bex rolled her eyes a little. “Oh, ha ha. I know you’re not a vampire-- I know what vampires are like. I’ve seen you in the sunlight.” She poked her in the arm. “What, are you an ice swimmer, too, now? If I would freeze to death, you would, too.” The trees began to part and Bex squinted through the waning light. “Oh! We’re close!” She tugged on Mina’s hand as she took off in a job, dragging the other girl with her. She kind of almost hoped there weren’t too many other people around, it would be nice to just enjoy some time alone with Mina.

“It’s not that funny,” Mina said, but she huffed out a laugh as well. “I was five minutes late and let the class out five minutes early. I couldn’t stop yawning. It was a bad morning. But I don’t really care about being a cool teacher. I think I’m a bit of a mess, really, but no one’s complained, and the students I tutor pass their classes. I’m not trying to be cool, just helpful.” Really, Mina was probably very much not cool. Anti-cool, even. She laughed. “Should you really be surprised that I rate you higher than a bunch of freshmen frat boys?” She steadied Bex subconsciously. “Careful. You know, I don’t think I have the, ah, street cred? That, I don’t think I have enough of that to be fully considered a daredevil. Most of this was all just stuff we all did. The other kids my age. Some of the adults, too, even. My dad preferred to just watch. We didn’t get a lot off days to just enjoy things. If we had a group together and there was a bit of down time, and we were in a nice spot, they took advantage. I didn’t play a lot of games, though.” She nodded, thinking about it. It would be dangerous for Bex, but, if she was there, then Mina could ensure that things went smoothly. “I’d jump with you. And you can’t possibly be certain I’m not a vampire. Maybe I’m a special vampire. Some of them can walk in the sun, you know.” Sometimes, Mina got dangerously close to revealing too much of herself, despite all of her fears that revealing herself would be exactly what she did. She played a dangerous game. Maybe she was a daredevil. “The temperature of the water isn’t the problem, it’s getting out.” She allowed Bex to drag her up, laughing a bit. “Be careful, please! I’d hate for you to actually fall.”

“It’s pretty funny,” Bex pointed out, “but only because I do know how much you usually care about being presentable. And, you know, you might be a mess, but at least you’re a cute mess. That’s a lot more than most of those kids can say. Especially the freshmen frat boys.” She let Mina steady her, let the smile on her face stay bright. Barring anything outrageous, Bex had a good feeling about today. There wasn’t much that could ruin this, even the annoying boy in her head. She thought another shut up, please, for just like, one night. A few hours, even. At him before focusing back on Mina. And stop asking who Mina is! “Street cred is overrated. You’re a daredevil to me, and that’s really all that should matter.” She tilted her head. “Did you run into a lot of other families like you and your dad? That’s, I mean, kinda nice, right? The only time I got to hang out with kids my age was during dinner parties or big meetings where all the parents only wanted to pay one babysitter. I actually met Frank at a dinner party, technically. There wasn’t a lot of time for games when I was a kid, either. Not for um, the same reasons as you, obviously. But I guess my parents thought other things were more important.” She glanced back at Mina. “Oh, no. I wasn’t actually serious. I am not brave enough for that, even if you’re with me.” With her arms around her, holding her. Bex felt her cheeks burn and looked away. “And I do know you’re not a vampire, because you haven’t tried to eat me yet.” She subconsciously scratched at the scabs on her neck. “Can they? Is that a real thing? I’m being careful, I’m always caref--” As if right on cue, the dirt beneath Bex’s foot shifted downhill and she yelped, grabbing for Mina. When she was standing up straight again, she cleared her throat. “Well, I’m usually careful. What was that thing about water temperature you were saying?”

“You’re mocking my pain,” Mina said dramatically, maybe playing up the situation a little. She didn’t get a lot of chances to do things like this, be lighthearted, and she always felt uncomfortable when she tried, but doing this with Bex was easy. Too easy, really, concerningly easy if she thought about it for too long. “Well, in that case, I suppose being a cute mess isn’t that bad.” And if her cheeks were turning a bit red at that, then it was probably because of the weather. “Oh, so your opinion is of the highest order, then? I’ll keep that in mind.” She tried to keep the smile on her face, though it was a bit harder than she would have liked as she shrugged nonchalantly. “We sometimes... the right term is hunted, really, with other families. There’s safety in numbers. But I didn’t fit in too well, so I was kind of odd woman out a lot of the time.” When she was really young, there was a lot of distrust around Mina, especially after she’d almost drowned someone. As she’d gotten older and better trained, she was just disliked on principle, most of the time. It was fine. She was used to it. “Did you like going to dinner parties?” She didn’t want to talk about her childhood anymore. “I think you’re very brave when you put your mind to it.” Mina let her expression turn serious, one eyebrow raised. “How do you know I’m not toying with you? The long game is always more fun. But, yes, some vampires can, though they’re more prone to bloodlust and-- that wasn’t particularly careful!” Briefly, Mina worried if this was a good idea. “I mean, water temperature isn’t that bad for me. Just, getting out when it’s cold. That’s rough.”

“So what if I am?” Bex chided. Somehow, she knew Mina didn’t mind. “My opinion is the most important, actually. You would do well to remember that, you know.” Bex was rarely, if ever, this confident. But Mina just made her feel overwhelmingly so. She could tell, though, that the subject of childhood was wearing on Mina. It was heavy on her, too. “I’d rather be the odd one out than the same carbon copy as everyone else, if I’m being honest.” She shrugged, almost a mirror to Mina’s previous motion. “Not really. They were so boring. All we ever did was sit around and be pretty and act good. As kids, we weren’t supposed to engage in the conversations. I kinda felt like...a decoration.” She scuffed her shoe along the ground and kicked a rock, watching it roll down the hill. Glanced over at Mina, quirking a brow. “Me? Brave? Just cause I didn’t run away from a giant chicken one time does not make me brave. I am ecstatically a coward and relatively okay with it, if it keeps me from being eaten.” It was mostly a truth. She was a coward who could not stand up to her parents, who could not ever reach for what she wanted versus what other people wanted from her, and she most certainly wasn’t someone who ran towards danger to protect other people. Those times had just been flukes. And pure curiosity. “Because you said you’d never lie to me,” Bex answered Mina simply, stopping at the bottom of the hill. The falls were just around the corner, according to the sign. She wanted to take her time in seeing them, to share the experience with Mina. “And so I trust you enough to have told me, if you were.” It was a simple fact. Bex trusted Mina would tell her if she was something like that, something different. She smiled and pointed at the sign. “Anyway, enough of all that. We’re close! Are you ready?”

“Someone could say that it’s cruel, what you’re doing, you know,” Mina said, hand over her heart, but she was laughing. “Oh, of course, your opinion is incredibly important to me. I’ll never forget that.” Wistfully, she added, “I’d really have preferred to fit in, honestly.” She’d really have liked to just be human and treated human, if only for a moment, by the people that she’d grown up with and admired for so long. And feared. And loved. And wished she didn’t. “Well, you’re far more than a decoration. That was silly, of them to treat you like one. And, yes, you. Brave. There’s more to bravery than standing stubbornly in front of a charging creature.” Which was really the only kind of bravery that Mina was capable of, at this point. “There are other types of bravery. And you seem to have no trouble in poking fun at me. That’s an awfully brave thing to do against someone that you’re really not sure isn’t a vampire.” She was smiling, but it turned serious pretty quick. “No, I won’t lie to you.” There was a knot forming in her stomach at Bex’s words, though. She should tell Bex. She should. But the fear that Bex would look at her in fear and disgust and run away from her was too much for even contemplate it. Instead, she squeezed Bex’s hand and looked at the sign. “Absolutely ready. Are you?”

“Some, yes. But you wouldn’t,” Bex pointed out, calling Mina’s bluff. The laugh helped a lot. “Yeah, me too. People just say that to make you feel better. Doesn’t really work, though, does it?” She squeezed Mina’s hand reassuringly, trying to keep her smile from fading to that sad, plastic version of itself. What is a child, but a decoration for their parents? She’d heard her mother say that once before. “I know,” she answered, “I’m a person.” Even if she didn’t feel like one at times. “Well, if you are a vampire, then fine, I’ll accept that I’m brave, laughing in the face of danger. Ha, ha, ha!” she mocked, giving her best Simba from the Lion King impression. It was pretty bad, but she didn’t much care. Mina made her not care about things like that. But enough of those conversations, Bex was ready to find the falls and see if they were as wonderful as people made them out to be. The sun was still peaking just through the trees and it was nearly the perfect angle. “Absolutely,” she agreed, tugging Mina’s hand as she raced around the corner. The roar of the water was so loud at first, Bex wondered if they were somehow in the wrong place. But as they came around the trees, and the falls came into view, she knew absolutely that they were. It almost didn’t look real. It looked magical. Bex swallowed the word down. The water was sparkling with the trickling sunlight, and there was a cloud of mist at the bottom of the falls that almost looked as if it were changing colors. Red to orange to blue and back. The entire grove was surrounded by trees, and shiny rocks, wet from the falls. Suddenly, she understood why people came here to make out. It was kind of a really romantic atmosphere. Her face flushed at the thought as she remembered her hand in Mina’s, glancing at the other girl for a moment, wondering if the sunlight was reflecting as sweetly off her hair as it did the water. “Wow,” she muttered, “to think something like this was hidden in White Crest.”

“Wouldn’t I?” Mina said, sticking her tongue out. She wasn’t even particularly bothered that Bex was calling her out. With anyone else, she’d be a bit worried that someone was picking up on her phrasings, the way she didn’t specify things or responded to questions with more questions. She didn’t mind, though, that Bex seemed to figure her out. “You are a person. A nice and good and kind person that I happen to enjoy spending time with, so, yes. You’re a person.” She poked Bex lightly in the ribs.”It’s rude to laugh at vampires, you know. And, honestly, do I have to be a vampire to be dangerous? I think I’m pretty dangerous.” That came with the territory, with having claws and fangs and an inhuman disposition. Not that she would say that. And, instead of lingering on that thought, she allowed Bex to drag her down the hill, the sound and smell of water filling her head. She was in awe when they finally rounded on the falls. Dark Score Lake was pretty, when it wasn’t a glass filled hole. There was always something dangerous about it, though, something that anyone could feel. Champlain Falls was deceptive, though. Pretty and calm despite the roar of the water. She could see why other Fae were attracted to this place, the way the light shimmered and shifted. She wanted to jump in and just stay there. She heard Bex speak, and she turned to look. Then, she was perfectly fine with where she was. “This is incredible,” she said, looking at Bex. “Remind me to thank Nell for mentioning this place to me.”

Bex had to look away from Mina, because for some reason, she almost felt compelled to close the distance between them and that just wasn’t something she could-- or should-- do. She cleared her throat. “Wait-- Nell told you about this place? Huh.” She wondered why Nell would’ve told Mina to take her here, but she wasn’t going to question it too much. Nell was always telling her to take time off and relax. This must’ve been what she meant. She tugged Mina’s hand. “I wanna go see how cold the water is before we find a place to sit,” she said, eager to look down into the spring and see how far down it really went. To see how crystal clear the water would be. As they headed towards the shore, she looked back at Mina, to their intertwined hands, then back up at her face. “You might be dangerous, but I’m not afraid of you. Even if you are a vampire,” she stated simply, turning to face forward again. “I know you’d never hurt me.” It was, in fact, Bex who would probably end up hurting Mina. Either with magic, or because, eventually, she’d have to return to her normal life. And Mina wasn’t a part of that life, was she? Her hand subconsciously squeezed Mina’s. Maybe she could find a way to hold onto her, maybe she could find a way to hold on to what she’d built outside of that life. She finally let go of Mina’s hand once she reached the edge of the lake and bent down, sticking her hand out to graze the surface. Here, away from the falls, it was smooth and still as glass, rippling out when her fingers broke the illusion. It felt near freezing, but she kept her fingers in, leaning down a little farther to get her entire hand wet. She could see it perfectly under the surface, and the rocks beneath it sitting at the bottom. “I think it might be too cold to stick our feet in,” she said, finally looking back at Mina with a smile, “we’ll have to stick with the pool for now.”

“Yeah, she-- she said it would be a nice place for a picnic,” Mina said. And a nice place to make out. Mina refrained from mentioning that or the tightness it caused in her chest, just like she refused to answer when Nell asked if she wanted to kiss Bex. She did. Want that. Very much so. She tried not to dwell on that fact too much. It wasn’t going to happen. She just didn’t see it happening. She followed Bex to the water and couldn’t help but want to dive in, never come up. The water was clear, and, when she brushed her fingers against the surface, cool, comfortable, to her, really, but all water tended to be comfortable when it wasn’t composed of salt. She swallowed tightly. She could just slip in and stay. Champlain Falls wasn’t a good, permanent place. It was too open, and too many people visited, but it was pretty, and she liked it, and she could acknowledge that she liked it. Again, she would have jumped in if Bex wasn’t there. Instead, she looked at Bex and flicked a bit of water at her. “Too cold for you.” But she took Bex’s hand and pulled her up, moving away from the water. She didn’t even think she wanted to stay, now that another option had presented itself. “I’m fine with that, actually. It’s nice enough to look at, and I packed dinner, so. Maybe another time.” Maybe she could come by herself one night and just stay, just for a bit.

Bex had grown accustomed to understanding the minute expressions people had and what that meant for their mood, their emotions-- with an eye for anger-- and when she looked at Mina it almost seemed as if she felt...a longing. For what, Bex couldn’t be sure, but it had something to do with the water, with the falls. With this place. She shook her head and frowned teasingly when Mina flicked water at her, though, and decided to stow that thought for later. She flicked water back at Mina before taking her hand and standing back up. She brushed her wet hand off on her overalls. “Another time, then,” Bex agreed, stepping in towards Mina as she moved away from the lake and back towards the trail. She paused to look around for what might be a good spot. “Hey, it looks like there’s a trail that goes to the top of the falls. Wanna check it out? We could set up dinner up there, watch the sunset from above?” It seemed like the best possible situation, really. No better spot. “C’mon, it’ll be perfect!” She said excitedly, tugging on both of Mina’s hands as she led them up to the trail that climbed back around the falls and to the top. It was maybe a little steeper than she’d prepared for, but it would be worth it, she decided, to make it up there with Mina. After all, the brochures said there was no spot more beautiful than the top of Champlain Falls in White Crest. She needed to see for herself.

“I’m following you. Carefully, please,” Mina said as she allowed Bex to drag her from the water, up the path, towards the trail. She seemed to do that a lot, let Bex lead her around. There it was again, that tightness, like the knowledge that she knew that she wanted to kiss Bex and knew that she couldn’t have it. So, she decided, she’d settle for this. Really, Mina would take what she could get. She’d never been close to anyone, and certainly not like this. “I think it’s going to be nice,” she added, making sure her footsteps were sure as the pathway got steeper, shifting the weight of her body so that her backpack didn’t attempt to topple her over. The view would be nice, she knew. It would be something enjoyable, and she was doing this with someone whose company she enjoyed, and it was just calming. She felt at peace. She didn’t think she was going to feel at peace anytime this week, not after Frank, not after things constantly seeming to get tense and uncomfortable around every turn. She didn’t know how to talk about things. That was the moral of the story. Mina Fitzroy had a bit of a communication problem. “It’s getting much steeper up here, Ms. Extremely Clumsy. Watch your step.”

“I’m being careful!” Bex said back to Mina, chancing a look. It was silly of her to risk it, but she felt like it was worth it. “And besides, if I fall, I’ve got you to catch me.” Smiled wide at her before she turned back around, intertwining their fingers for a better grip. There was that strange warmth growing inside of her again, pulsing in her veins. She wasn’t all too familiar with it, but it felt a little bit like a feeling she knew despite never, well, knowing. It was how she was supposed to feel towards Frank, how he wanted her to feel, but she knew she couldn’t. She knew it wasn’t possible. She just didn’t want to admit to either of those statements. That she didn’t like Frank and that she did like Mina. Blinking, she shook the thoughts away and slowed her pace so that she was standing beside Mina instead of walking ahead of her. She liked it better here. She could admit that much. That Mina made her feel comfortable and safe. She didn’t feel that way often. Maybe that’s all it was. “I think I...need to go hiking more often,” she huffed out, realizing her breathing was a bit labored. “Can we take a little break? I just need a minute.”

“I will catch you, but let’s not tempt fate, okay?” Mina asked, already worried that she might once again have to save the younger girl from a near fall. But, really, their fingers were laced so tightly together that, if Bex fell, Mina was likely going down right after her. Then, she’d have to figure out a way to make sure Bex didn’t get hurt on the way down. It was fine. It would be fine. She notice a place to sit on the side of the trail and tugged Bex’s hand gently in that direction. “Yeah, we can take a break. I could use a second, too. It’s been awhile since I’ve done a trail this steep. I usually just go a little bit into the woods for a workout.” She moved over to a fallen log and stretched out the leg that had been mauled from the wolf attack, rubbing at her ankle a bit. The bones still hurt, sometimes. If she thought about it too much, the scars felt raw, too. But that was only when she thought about it. She was healed. It was slow, some things were still wrong, but she was healed. It was better than being dead. “You’re welcome to join me when I start back running. I’ll probably do a few laps around Morgan and Deirdre’s neighborhood when I’m there. I used to run a lap around Dark Score every morning before school.”

“Why not? Are you worried?” Bex asked, raising a brow. But she kind of knew she was, weren't they both always? She followed Mina over to the log gratefully and sat down beside her, watching her stretch her leg out. She remembered Mina mentioning she’d been attacked by an animal that had messed up her leg, but Bex suddenly wondered if it wasn’t an animal at all, but, rather, an “animal”. She didn’t feel like bringing that up right now, though. It might ruin the calm happy that had seemed to settle over them. “Depends on what time you go. I have to be in class by 8am, but I usually go to the office for a few hours before class starts. Or, well…” she paused, “I used to.” The sun was beginning to set beyond the hills, but it didn’t really matter. They’d get up there in time. She gently prodded her hand away from Mina’s and dug her camera out of her pocket, turning it on. Aimed down the capture and took a picture of the falls in the distance. She then turned to Mina. “Say cheese?” she asked, giving her her best puppy eyes in hopes the other girl would agree to at least one photo.

“Only a bit,” Mina said, but she had a small smile on her face. She rolled her shoulder blades, adjusting the bag again so that it was comfortable. “I used to go around six. I like early mornings; they’re calmer, usually, and it’s nice to watch as things wake up, teem with life. It was always a good start to the day.” She noticed Bex’s hesitation, and a part of her didn’t want Bex to go back to the office, to her house, to her family. Mina… didn’t know what happened, not really. She was always a bit too scared to ask. What would she do? What could she do? “I can’t believe you got 8 am classes. I thought most undergraduates tried to find ways around those.” She looked a little lost, staring at the camera hesitantly. “Okay,” she said, quietly, before she sat up a bit straighter, her hands folding themselves in her lap. She looked at Bex, then at the camera lens, giving it an unsure smile.

“Liar,” Bex teased. She tilted her head in contemplation as she tapped the top of her camera. “Six isn’t a bad time. I could probably make that work. Most days. Plus,” she looked down at her camera to adjust the settings back to portrait mode instead of landscape, taking her time, “it’d be nice to spend that time with you.” Not that they didn’t spend a lot of time together already. But like now, running around the neighborhood would give them time away from Morgan and Deirdre’s. She lifted the camera again, looking through the aperture, before deciding on a different angle. She turned it around so that the lens faced her and scooted next to Mina. “Selfie,” she grinned, ready to push the button. But right before she pushed it, she turned her head and pressed a kiss to Mina’s cheek. Click. And then she was standing up again, swinging her camera by the string. “Ready to keep going?”

Snorting, Mina said, “Hardly.” She kept shifting, adjusting her hands, crossing and uncrossing her legs. She didn’t like just sitting like this. At one point, after she realized that the camera wasn’t going off, she glared at it for a bit. “I mean, I’m going to have to work myself back up to doing most days, so that’s fine.” She looked away from the camera to Bex, smiling genuinely. “I think that’d be nice, too.” She wouldn’t have asked, otherwise. She’d grown used to doing things like this in a solitary way for over a year, but she wouldn’t mind doing it with Bex. Actually, there was a lot of things that she wouldn’t mind doing with Bex. Maybe that was the scariest part of all of this. She hadn’t expected Bex to turn the camera around, and she hadn’t expected Bex to move closer, and she hadn’t expected Bex to kiss her cheek. Her eyes widened, and she stopped thinking for a moment as she attempted to process what just happened. She couldn’t imagine how embarrassing she must have looked in that picture. How mortifying. “I--” She looked up at Bex, blinking for a second, before she stood. “Right. Ready.”

This time as they walked, Bex would pause every few moments to take a photo. There wasn’t much left to say at this point, but she also didn’t mind the silence. She’d read once that being able to sit in silence with a person was the true sign of comfort. She glanced back at Mina as they approached the top, and the trail began to even out. Finally, she turned to face her fully, putting her arms out in a T-pose. “See? I made it all the way up the trail without falling once! Carefully,” she pointed out, grinning widely. They were just in time, too. The sun was at the perfect angle sitting atop the tree tips, the water was rushing below them, and it was even more peaceful and quiet up here than it had been down at the base. She waited at the top of the hill for Mina to catch up, before holding up her camera. “Go stand by the river,” she instructed with a wave. Her lips were still tingling from when they’d been pressed to Mina’s cheeks, but she chalked it up to the chill setting in.

Mina spent the rest of the walk taking a few deep breaths, holding them, letting them out. She usually did this in the water after a long day, when she needed time to collect her thoughts and figure out her mind, and that was kind of what she was doing, now. Every now and then the clicks of the camera would draw her back to the present, force her to make sure that Bex wasn’t at risk of falling, but she seemed to be holding her own. She grinned as they made it to the top, watching Bex spread her arms wide. “I’m impressed, truly.” She stopped for a bit and just looked. This reminded her of a river in the Black Forest that she’d briefly stayed in, the sound of rushing water, the way that everything seemed peaceful in spite of the noise. She breathed deeply, held it, let it out, her lungs grateful for the wetness of the air filling them. Finally, she walked over to Bex before she was motioned toward the river. “Really?” she asked, but she wasn’t actually complaining. She stuffed her hands into her back pockets and turned to face Bex, an eyebrow raised. “You know, you’re missing the actual sunset pointing that at me.”

“I’m actually kind of impressive,” Bex beamed, holding her camera up to her chest, before backing up a bit and glancing through the focus again. “Really.” She waved Mina so that she was standing in better lighting, glancing back at her. “Sunsets happen every day,” she said dismissively as she clicked the camera a few times. “This--” she put the camera down, gestured between the two of them, then the surroundings, “--this doesn’t.” Finally, she clicked her camera to rest mode and came back over to Mina. “I wanna look over the edge,” she declared, “will you hold me to make sure I don’t fall?” She knew enough of what she was doing, of the things she was asking. She knew what it meant that she’d kissed Mina’s cheek, and she knew well enough what the warm feeling in her stomach was. But she wasn’t ready, yet, to declare those things real. To say they were true. Maybe she just wanted to have a nice time with a friend. A close friend. She held her hand out to Mina. “Please?”

“You are, totally. One hundred percent.” Mina moved like she was told to, only feeling a bit awkward. Or, at least, only a bit more awkward than usual. Still a lot of awkward, but not as much as she was expecting. “Yeah, okay, but you see me just about every day. And this is a special sunset.” But she’d take however many pictures Bex wanted with only minor complaining, at this point. Really, she would, even though it made her horribly uncomfortable and self-conscious. “Yeah, I can do that. Just let me put my bag down away from the edge. Don’t want us to fall and end up losing it. Here, give me your camera unless you want to take pictures.” She moved their stuff over a few feet away to a spot that would be nice to set up when they got done, and walked over to Bex, immediately taking her hand when it was offered. Her eyes innocent, she asked, “Just to make sure, we’re not jumping this time, right? I mean, I would assume not because we’re both a little ill-prepared, clothing wise, but I thought I’d check just in case.”

“Wow, you agreed to that very quickly,” Bex chuckled, watching Mina move about as she set their stuff aside. Bex just smiled at her. “I’d take you over a sunset any day,” was all she said. Held out the camera when Mina offered to put it with the other stuff. She would have considered taking a photo had the idea not totally freaked her out. It was going to be woozy enough just looking, but she wanted to be brave today. She wanted to show Mina that she could be brave. Once Mina took her hand, Bex intertwined their fingers again, holding tightly. It felt as if her hand simply fit there. She met Mina’s gaze. “Oh, god, no. Definitely not jumping today. I already told you I’m way too afraid to do that. I think just looking over the edge is enough. I mostly just wanna be able to say I stood at the top of a waterfall. Bragging rights, really,” she teased, walking slowly over towards the ledge, making sure to keep an even footing the entire time, despite the amount of rocks that were in the way. Finally, she reached the ledge and paused, subconsciously squeezing Mina’s hand tighter as she leaned over. She could see the pool at the bottom from here, but she wanted to see more. She leaned out a little farther and the bottom came into view. Rainbow lights seemed to dance at the bottom of the falls, where they met the lake. Splashing up, flickering in and out. She even swore she saw what looked like a sky beneath it, rippling in the waves underneath. She tilted her head, entranced. Leaned a little farther. She almost wanted to touch it. It was compelling. Maybe there was another world on the other side of it. A place that was less cruel than this one. She hadn’t even realized her foot was nearly over the edge, she didn’t need to worry. Mina would catch her. Mina would pull her back if she was going to fall. She was her safety net.

Instead of answering, Mina stuck her tongue out at Bex. So what if she’d answered fast? There was that tightness again. She was beginning to worry that it might be a permanent thing. She was beginning to worry that this was something that she would want and want and want, and she couldn’t want it because what was she going to do if it was taken from her? She took Bex’s hand and walked over to the edge, and there was something that was comforting about Bex’s hand in hers, and, okay, maybe that was worrying, too. There was no voicing that, though. Instead, she grinned and said, “Bragging rights, of course. Not everyone can say they’ve stood on top of a waterfall.” She bumped her shoulder with Bex’s. “But not everyone can say they’ve jumped from a waterfall, either. Just something to think about.” When they made it to the edge, Mina planted herself firmly. In all honesty, she didn’t particularly like heights. She liked the rush that came from jumping from great heights, but the height itself was dizzying. Still, she looked over the edge a bit, taking in everything. There’s a moment where she just wanted to freeze there, and there’s a moment where she just wanted to let go and fall in, and she thought about it hard, about diving into water so clear she could see the sky. The sky? That was strange. Mina felt Bex tug forward, and she looked down at the younger girl’s foot barely on the edge. “Bex!” She jerked them back from the edge, stumbling and tripping and ending up on her back, the wind knocked out of her and Bex on top of her. Dazedly, she said, “You looked like you were about to fall.”

Mina calling her name made Bex snap from her trance. She turned to look at Mina, but she was already being jerked forward. It felt like it happened in slow motion, really. Mina stumbled, eyes wide, and Bex watched her foot catch on a rock. Her eyes then went to their intertwined hands as she was also pulled down, landing on top of Mina with a soft oof as she did. She had just enough time to put her one hand out and brace herself against the muddy ground so her head didn’t snap forward and smack into Mina’s. Instead, her face was mere inches from Mina’s and her eyes were staring wide and her breath felt like it was stuck in her chest. Ironic, she thought as she looked down at Mina, that after all her slips, Mina was the one to trip. She should get up, really. It looked a little like it might have hurt, or at least winded the poor girl underneath her. But her body was frozen, it would not listen to her when she tried to tell it to move. “Uh huh,” was all she said she stared down at Mina. Why couldn’t she move? There was another impulse in her head, overwriting everything else, all logic. An impulse Bex hadn’t felt in quite a long time. Not since she’d come back to White Crest. She was so entranced with Mina she hardly noticed that the collar of her sweater had shifted down and the scabs she’d been trying to hide were slightly exposed. Or the voice in her head that was shouting JUST KISS HER. She wasn’t even sure if it was her own or Kyle’s. She didn’t really care.

If Mina was asked if she’d like to kiss Bex, in that moment, she would be compelled to tell the truth. Yes, actually, she’d like that very much, please. And she had to force herself to look anywhere but at Bex’s lips. She focused on her eyes, her nose, the strands of hair in her face, her neck. Her neck. There were… Mina sat them up, her hands going to Bex’s collar and shifting it a bit to look at the scabs that were distinctly bite marks, and any thoughts of kissing were completely out of Mina’s mind as dread pooled in her stomach. “What happened? Where did you get those? What did that?” They looked like fangs, so it was unlikely to be a zombie bite, but there were so many creatures that bit and maimed and hurt and killed, and Mina felt absolutely sick to her stomach thinking about all of the possibilities that might have happened, and the look that she gave Bex was pure panic.

For a moment, Bex was confused. What was what? What did what? Her mind was still trying to catch up to herself. Mina sat them up, tugged at her collar, and that’s when Bex remembered. She stiffened, swatted Mina’s hand away and backed up off her lap. “It’s nothing,” she said quickly, “it’s fine. It was just--” her mind still reeled a little when she thought about it. She was still trying to grasp the fact that vampires were real and that Dani had killed one right in front of her. She swallowed, putting her hand over the marks before readjusting her collar to cover them. The look she gave Mina was one of matching panic, but for a purely different reason. “I-I didn’t wanna worry you. Or Morgan, o-or anyone. Really, though, I’m fine! It happened so quickly, so i-it wasn’t anything bad. Plus there was someone there who helped me. L-like you. A hunter. She saved me.”

Mina pulled her hand back to her chest as if she’d been shocked before she moved away, sitting up properly. “Bex.” It didn’t look like nothing. “Nothing” was a blase term that one didn’t use to describe things as significant as bitemarks. But she swallowed and listened as Bex talked, the stress building up behind her eyes dulling a bit. Bex was fine. Bex was saved by a hunter. The chances of whatever biting Bex being something that was contagious diminished with her mentioning the hunter. Mina knew that it would be unlikely that a hunter would have let Bex walk away if it had been a werewolf bite or a zombie bite. She swallowed and buried that thought deep, deep down. “I’m still worried. I still worry. I’m sure Morgan would worry, too. I think that’s just a general thing at this point.” She started to reach out but thought against it, instead putting her hands in her lap. “I’m glad you’re safe, and that you were helped, and that it’s not--” she choked on the words, “--not anything bad. I just--” would like to know what happened so that I can possibly insure that it never happens again and warn you about things that do this type of thing and give you something to protect yourself and possibly never let you out of my sight again. Deep breath. In. Hold. Out. She was working herself into a state of panic that she could tell, if she didn’t calm down, the stress was going to get to her. “Will you please tell me what happened?”

“Well I don’t need people to worry about me all the time,” Bex snapped back immediately, then bit her tongue. “Sorry, I-- sorry. I just-- I’m not some, like, defenseless little girl.” Like everyone thought she was. “But everyone keeps treating me like I am and I’m not. I’m not.” She wasn’t. She hated the way people looked at her bruises, hated the way people made her feel like she could never understand this world even though she was very obviously a part of it. She settled back on the ground, shoulders slumped. “It was a vampire,” she mumbled finally, “I-- stayed late on campus, in the library, one night last week. She was-- waiting for me outside, I guess. She just jumped me. I was--” Lucky Dani had been there. Had she not been, would Bex be dead right now? Or a vampire, too? Her chest seized. “How was I supposed to know vampires existed if no one tells me anything?” She looked over at Mina, at the sun setting behind her. She scooted closer. “I just didn’t want anyone to worry more than they already do.”

Sometimes, Mina snapped, lashing out with her words. Not a lot, though. She didn’t like to. She was taught to have more control than that. And she could have snapped at Bex, could have told the younger girl that she was going to worry about her regardless, and, maybe, if she didn’t go about getting herself into dangerous situations, then she wouldn’t be treated like a child. Instead, she said, “Okay. You don’t have to apologize. I know you’re not a child.” A vampire. Okay, and it was how long ago? Deep breath. In. Hold. Out. Lovely. She would have turned by this point. And what would Mina have done? Did she even have to ask herself this question? One of her dearest friends was a bloody zombie, for crying out loud. “Right. Vampires. I’m… glad it wasn’t worse. I’ll tell you about vampires. What I know, at least, which isn’t a lot. My dad and I didn’t go after vampires often, unless he thought it was worth it.” She sighed, rubbing at her eyes. “I’m afraid people are going to worry regardless, Bex. If you wait to tell them things, it only gets worse.”

Bex let out a really long breath. She didn’t wanna be talking about this. She wanted to enjoy this evening with Mina and she wanted to watch the sunset with her and she wanted to kiss her, maybe. Maybe. Her heart pumped in her chest again, but instead of answering, she just flopped back on the ground and let her arms splay out. She stared up at the sky, watching as it changed colors, and remembered the sky she’d seen sparkling at the bottom of the waterfall. She wanted to tumble into that world, where maybe things didn’t have to be complicated and magic wasn’t real and Mina didn’t have to suffer. “I don’t need to know about them anymore. The girl who helped me told me about them.” She stayed laying on the ground, but turned her head enough to look at Mina. She could see the worry in her eyes, the strange panic that had been there but was fading. When had they come to care about each other so much? Bex couldn’t remember. Maybe it was after the cockatrice. Maybe it was forever. “Hypocrite,” she said quietly. She looked back up at the sky. “Telling people wouldn’t have changed anything. I still would have been attacked, the vampire still would’ve died, and I still would just feel helpless.” She squinted a little. “Does that cloud look like a dragon to you?”

Instead of moving to lay down, Mina pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged. She put her elbows on her knees and then her head in her hands and just tried to calm down. There was nothing she could do. There was just nothing she could do, and she kept reminding herself about that even though it was rather difficult to remember, especially in that moment. Thinking about their earlier conversation, she blurted out, “I’m not a vampire, I promise.” Granted, at this point, it was pretty obvious that she wasn’t, but still. Sheisse, Bex had been attacked by a vampire. And she’d been joking about that earlier. “That’s-- It’s good you know. Go for the heart if you encounter another one. Or show them holy symbols.” She was explaining anyway, talking too much, even though Bex might already know this. “They don’t like those. And wood is preferable, actually. And if they don’t turn to ash, they’re not dead.” She took a shuddering breath. Calm down, please, just calm down. Be calm. “Sorry. I--” Where was the lie? She was a hypocrite. An actual damn hypocrite. “I know.” She craned her neck up, looking at the sky. “Actually, it looks like-- like a wolpertinger. A-- a rabbit, with a squirrel tail and wings and fangs.”

“Mina,” Bex said, sitting up finally. There was dirt and leaves in her hair but she didn’t really mind, her ponytail kept most of it away from her face. “I’m fine.” She put her arms out, turned them over then back. “You can check my pulse, if you want.” She scooted a little closer and held her wrist out to Mina, pulling the sleeve up. There were little scabs on her palms from where she’d hit the pavement, healing up, and little white scars dotting her forearm. “I know you’re not a vampire. You don’t have to promise that.” She didn’t really know what else to do. How else to convince Mina she was okay. She wondered if that was even possible right now. “Next time something happens, I’ll tell you, okay? Right away. I promise. I’ll tell you if something happens or even if something almost happens, or if I’m scared something might happen. If that’s what you want. I promise.”

Mina focused on breathing again. “I know you’re not a vampire.” I don’t think the hunter would have let you live. “I would have noticed if you’d gone missing. Turning isn’t instantaneous.” But she took Bex’s hand anyway, rubbing her thumb across Bex’s pulse before lacing their fingers. She needed to calm down. Why was she so upset about something that she couldn’t change? She knew there wasn’t anything that she could do, but she was still so damn upset because she cared. She cared. A lot. Her eyes snapped up to Bex’s as she said “promise.” I release you from those promises. It was on her tongue. It was her immediate response. She hesitated. She hated how bad that made her feel. “No. I release you from those promises. I can’t-- I can’t ask you to do that, not if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to be obligated to tell me something if you don’t want to.”

“Missing?” Bex asked, raising a brow. She hadn’t asked Dani how, exactly, one becomes a vampire, but the idea that turning wasn’t instantaneous made her skin crawl a little. She definitely did not want to become a vampire. Or something else. This world was already trying so hard to change her, she didn’t need a physical change to happen, too. “But I do want to,” she answered, confused by the wording. Why would Mina need to release her from her promise? She knew that they were dangerous. There was still so much she didn’t know. The roar of the falls behind them snapped her back to the present and she looked down at Mina’s hand grasping her own, as if it were a lifeline. “You mean a lot to me, Mina. If-- if there’s something I can do to make you less…” she gestured limply at her, knowing that she was still wrought with panic, “...upset, then I wanna do it. I didn’t know you’d be so upset. I didn’t think...it mattered what happened.” Absently, she put her free hand back over the scabs. “I was...really scared and I didn’t want to think about it again. And I was stupid, again. I didn’t run. I should’ve just run.”

“We talk and see each other just about every day, and-- and it’s a long process, becoming a vampire,” Mina said. “If I didn’t notice, someone else would. We also wouldn’t have been able to do today.” She was calming down. It was taking her a bit, but she was coming down. She shook her head. “I don’t want you to have to tell me something, even if it gets to the point that you don’t want to. Don’t-- don’t make promises, especially not with me, especially if you’re not one hundred percent sure that you’ll keep it. Otherwise, it’s dangerous.” She rested her forehead against her knee. “I-- I’m not upset? I’m--” scared “I care about you a lot, and I don’t want something to happen to you. That frightens me. I’m not used to-- I’m not good with losing people.” She looked up and tried to smile weakly, but she couldn’t make the muscles work properly. “I’m really not good with losing people, or the prospect of it.” Running wouldn’t have helped this, but Mina didn’t have it in her to say that. “You’re not stupid.”

“I think if I had turned into a vampire, I would’ve had to tell you, anyway,” Bex mused. Mina was curling in on herself and Bex recognized the behavior as something she often did herself. Bex scooted closer still, until she was right in front of Mina, knees touching shins, and prodded her to uncurl, at least a little bit. “But I do know. One hundred percent. And, besides, you said it was only dangerous if the person wanted to use it against me. I know you would never do that. I won’t...say it again, but I’ll keep to myself.” She grabbed both of Mina’s hands and squeezed. “You’re not gonna lose me. Okay? You’re not. I’m not going anywhere. I just got here. And, besides, where else would I go?” At least, not anytime soon. Maybe, though. One day. She’d have to go back home. She’d have to. She wondered what life would be like then. Could she still be Mina’s friend? Could she still feel this way for her? Bex cleared her throat. “I’m a little stupid,” she teased, smiling back at her. She tugged on her hands. “C’mon, the sun is setting soon, and I wanna see what you brought for our picnic.”

“It might have been just a bit difficult to keep a secret, that’s true.” But Mina was managing to keep the fact that she was completely inhuman a secret pretty well, so who was to say they both weren’t completely oblivious? “It’s dangerous when it can’t be kept, too. Words have a way of hurting people if they aren’t taken seriously, or if someone doesn’t want to keep them, or can’t keep them. That’s why I… released you.” She moved her head up and looked at Bex. “But, no, I wouldn’t do that.” Never. She’d promise to never hurt Bex if she thought she could get away with it. Somehow, she didn’t think she’d be allowed to make that one. She squeezed Bex’s hands back, even if she didn’t really believe the words. If Bex found out what she was, Mina didn’t think Bex would want to stick around. She smiled, small but real. “You’re not… Morgan helped me pack. It’s supposed to all be kosher.”

“Even if that’s true,” Bex started, “It’s worth the risk.” You’re worth the risk. The actual words stuck in her mouth, dry like sandpaper on her tongue. She swallowed them back and went back to pretending that this was somehow normal. “But okay. I won’t promise that then.” She’d just keep the promise to herself. She never wanted to see Mina look at her like that again-- that worry, that fear, that panic-- and she’d do whatever it took to make sure it didn’t. Bex let out a slow breath, then, before standing up and wiping the dirt off her pants as much as she could, before reaching down to grab Mina’s arm and tug her up as well. “I hope you brought a blanket in that bag. No picnic’s complete without one and I’d rather not continue sitting in the mud, as nice as it was.” She’d have stayed there all night if Mina had wanted her to. She came back over to their stuff and picked her camera back up, dusting it off. “All kosher, huh? Do you even know what foods are kosher?” It was nice, though, that MIna had put enough thought into a meal to remember Bex kept kosher. She turned her camera on and flipped to the picture of Mina standing by the falls. Then the one of the two of them on the log. She looked back over to the spot where they’d fallen just a few moments ago and wished she could have rewound time to just before it happened. Remind herself to cover the scabs on her neck. Pretend like they hadn’t been interrupted. She looked back at Mina and just smiled, gentle and soft, pinching at the edges of her eyes. “I’m glad we came up here,” she finally said, “despite...everything else.”

“It is true because I don’t lie, and, no, it’s not worth the risk,” Mina said, simply. “I’m grateful that you won’t. I don’t want you to be bound to something like that.” She didn’t know if Bex understood that she would have to tell Mina if something happened or even if she was just afraid. She would have to, and she wouldn’t be able to keep things to herself, and as much as Mina wanted to know she wasn’t going to take that agency away from Bex. She let herself be pulled up and tried to pull the leaves out of her hair, brush the dirt off her back. “Yes, I packed a blanket.” She’d been informed to pack a blanket. “I also brought one of those battery operated lanterns? Because it is going to get dark soon.” She went over to her bag and started pulling things out: the blanket, the tupperware, the lantern. There was a panel in the back of the bag that, if she needed, there was a much longer, much sharper knife than the one in her boot waiting in case she needed it. “I had to ask what was and wasn’t kosher,” she admitted. “But it should all be right. And vegetarian. Well, yours.” Mina just couldn’t do a completely vegetarian diet. She looked up at Bex and actually smiled. “I’m glad, too. I’m-- I wish I hadn’t freaked out. And tripped. But it’s still been nice.”

Sometimes the language Mina used confused Bex, but so far, she’d tried not to question it too much. It made more sense, now, why she was always so vague and wishy washy about some things, but Bex was finding herself more and more begging to ask the questions she didn’t think Mina wanted to answer. She’d stay quiet for now, though, because the evening had already been interrupted once, and if she did that again, then they’d miss the sunset. So, instead, she helped Mina set up their little picnic, pulling out the lantern and flicking it on, setting it next to the blanket as Mina laid it out. She crawled onto the blanket and started setting up the tupperware, grabbing the silverware and little plastic plates, before settling down next to Mina and handing her one. “And vegetarian? Aww, you remembered.” It was nice to feel remembered. She smiled back at Mina. “I can teach how to tell if something’s kosher, if you want. It’s not hard.” At least, she didn’t think it was. She’d just been raised that way, though. “You know,” she said idly as she scooped some food onto her plate, “I don’t think I minded the fall too much. I do think it’s funny that, after all your warnings about me being careful, you were the one that slipped.” Then, a little quieter, “I also don’t think I...minded that, either. It’s nice to know someone cares enough. To freak out like that.”

“Of course I remembered?” Was Mina expected to forget? “You mentioned it, and I know things like that are important, and I wouldn’t want someone to try and give me something that I couldn’t eat, so I didn’t think you’d enjoy that, either.” She started grabbing her own food, crossing her legs but sitting up straight, no longer attempting to cave in on herself. “Okay, it might not be hard for you to tell if something’s kosher, but I… might have a more difficult time with it, you know. I’m not used to these sorts of things.” She wasn’t used to most sorts of things. It’s fine. She snorted, rolling her eyes a bit. “It’s not funny. You were close to the edge, and I was just trying to make sure you didn’t fall.” And, really, that was something that Mina could affect. That was something that she could control and affect because she was here, and she could make sure that Bex didn’t fall off the edge, even if she couldn’t make sure that a vampire didn’t attack her. “Still. You can-- I was overreacting. You don’t have to tell me anything that happens to you. I’d like to know, but you don’t have to. And I’d worry anyway, but…” But she couldn’t stand the thought of losing someone, couldn’t stand the thought of losing Bex and not knowing what happened. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“You’d be surprised how many parents at birthday parties for all the neighborhood kids would forget,” Bex pointed out, “I ate a lot of bread at birthday parties.” She closed her eyes for a moment in a solemn nod. Opened them again to look over at Mina and grin, full faced and kinda sleepy. “I’ll teach you. You’ll be a pro in no time.” It made sense that someone who ate a mostly pescetarian diet wouldn’t really know the ins and outs of kosher foods. In fact, most people with normal diets didn’t even know. “It was kind of funny. Admit it.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I wasn’t worried. I knew you’d never let me fall. Or, if I did, you’d come with me.” It really was that simple, wasn’t it? Bex chewed thoughtfully, before swallowing to answer Mina’s next question. Or statement. All of it just felt so...simple to her. Everything with Mina was simple, except the way she made Bex feel. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” She crossed her legs like Mina had, setting her tupperware in her lap. “That’s what friends do, right? They tell each other stuff. And I kinda get the feeling you’ll worry even if I do tell you stuff. So, might as well at least take out the guesswork, right?” She reached out to brush her fingers against one of Mina’s hands, playing idly with her fingers, lifting her hand enough to intertwine them. “But maybe...if I have to stay late at school, just for a bit, you could stay with me?”

“Yes, well, clearly they were stupid to not remember something as easy as knowing that you’re vegetarian,” Mina said. Looking at Bex with her sleepy eyes, she wondered if she needed to get the younger girl back, but she also just�� wasn’t ready to leave, not yet. She’d like to still take things in and enjoy it, despite the slight hiccup in that. “I’d like that. No, no, it-- well, okay. Maybe a little funny.” Mina only admitted it because her body was still processing the stress from before, and any attempt to lie at the moment would end poorly. “You really trust me,” she said, not a question, even though there was quite a bit of surprise in her voice. She wasn’t used to that, being trusted so inexplicably. Especially when she just didn’t think she deserved it. Especially when there was so much that she herself wasn’t saying, that she should say, that she didn’t know how to. She felt guilty, but she just sighed and smiled at Bex. “I’m… probably going to worry regardless, yes. I’m afraid that might just be a given, at this point.” Bex touched her so much. It felt like they were always touching, always holding hands or bumping into each other or touching, and Mina was trying to get used to it, and it helped that sometimes Morgan was so touchy feely, but sometimes there was just an impulse to jerk back and prepare to fight that Mina was beginning to realize probably wasn’t a natural thing. Holding Bex’s hand felt natural, though, and she squeezed the younger girl’s hand. “Yeah, I can do that. Of course I can do that.”

“I sort of think they just didn’t care,” Bex shrugged, “but there were lots of people to keep track of, too.” She picked at her food idly, finding herself not entirely too hungry for some reason. She probably should have been, she hadn’t eaten lunch that day-- but her stomach felt as if it were doing circus tricks. She looked over at Mina. “I really do,” she confirmed, the statement as simple as that. She really did. It was the truth and that’s all there was to it. She could count the number of people she truly trusted on one hand, and Mina was most certainly one of them. “Well, I’ll try my best to make you worry less. Just know the feeling is mutual, though. You worry me.” If Mina’s sense of duty to protect people was anything like Dani’s or Adam’s, that meant she was in danger of getting hurt, just like Dani when the vampire had stomped on her, or how she’d thrown herself at the cockatrice. She squeezed her hand back. “You can be like, my personal bodyguard. I’ll pay you in...good company?”

“Again. Stupid,” Mina said. She couldn’t imagine anyone not caring about Bex. But, really, maybe she was just a little biased. Maybe. Probably. Definitely. All the words that ended in -ly. And Bex trusted her, and the thought of that made her sick, just a little, because there was nothing she’d done to earn that trust, not that she could think of. She didn’t deserve it, she didn’t think. “I trust you, too,” she said, quietly, and she did. She trusted Bex so much. Mina just… didn’t trust herself, and, in the end, she was too afraid that she wouldn’t actually be worth it. “I don’t know if that’s going to work, Ms. Clumsy. And now I’m going to be looking for vampires under every rock I see.” She smiled at Bex. “I’m all good, though, really. I’m--” It was hard to explain why Bex shouldn’t be worried about her, that she was fine, that she was used to things happening. “I hope you don’t worry about me a lot.” It was bad enough knowing that people worried about her and rectifying that fact with the knowledge that it wasn’t because they thought she was incapable. They just… worried. “You do need a bodyguard, I think. If only to keep you from falling off of waterfalls. This is adequate payment, though.”

“Please don’t go looking for vampires,” Bex said with an over exaggerated sigh. “And I will wear that name proudly. Call me Ms. Clumsy all you want, you were the one that fell over.” She gave a triumphant smile. She set her container of food aside and turned herself to face Mina fully, keeping their hands intertwined still. “I think worrying is one of my base personality traits. I don’t have a lot of friends, so I kinda worry a lot about the ones I do have. And you kinda fall in that category, so I guess we’ll just both have to agree to worry about each other. But, like...in a good way.” She huffed and gave a pout. “I don’t need a bodyguard, but it would be nice to have one. Only if it’s you, though. I’m not sure I could stand anyone else.” She looked back over her shoulder at the treeline, where the sun was beginning to set. Eagerly, she tugged on Mina’s hand, urging her to set aside her bowl as well. “Here,” she scooted next to her so they were facing the same way and pointed up at the skyline. “Lay down with me. We can watch the sunset together. My favorite thing is watching the sky change colors.”

“I won’t go looking for them, but it never hurts to be prepared, you know.” Mina was teasing, but she did make a legitimate mental note to add a stake to her backpack. Just in case. Not because she expected to have to use it, but also because she definitely feared she might have to use it. She narrowed her eyes a bit. “I tripped making sure you didn’t topple over the edge. Your foot was literally over the edge!” Maybe she’d jerked back too quickly or maybe she should have just paid better attention, but Mina was not the clumsy one in this situation. Even if she was the one to trip. “Then I guess we’ll just have to worry about each other. And I think you do need a bodyguard, but I’m willing to take the job. Do you need any credentials? I have… over ten years of experience dealing with these things.” It was closer to twenty, but she didn’t want to point that out; it might be odd. Mina set aside her stuff and leaned back, looking at the sky before turning her face to Bex. “Just to be clear, we’re not watching the sunset? We’re watching the rest of the sky as the sun sets?”

“If it makes you feel better, the girl that helped me gave me a flask full of holy water. I keep it in my backpack now,” Bex explained. And she had started wearing her Star of David again. Her mother would’ve been so happy to know that. She swallowed the thought down. “Oh, was it?” she asked, blinking, genuinely unaware. “I didn’t even notice. I just kept looking into the water and it was like, I dunno, entrancing. I even thought I saw like, another sky in the reflection. It was kinda weird. Almost made me wanna jump…” she trailed off, laying back to gaze up at the sky. They were at a slight angle, but the sunset was at their feet, below the tree lines anyway. “I get jumped one time and suddenly I need a bodyguard? Sheesh. Fine, I accept your credentials. You start tomorrow morning. Think you can manage?” Turned her face to look at Mina, and they were so close again. Only a few inches between their faces, shoulders touching. “We can’t see the sunset, anyway, it’s behind the trees. Plus,” she turned away, feeling a heat in her cheeks that hadn’t been there before. Must be the cold setting in. “Look how pretty the clouds are.” She lifted a hand to point. “It looks like a painting.”

Nodding, Mina said, “That’s good, that’s really good. Sharp wood is also nice to have on you.” Though, she didn’t know if she wanted Bex near a stake. That might actually be a really bad idea. “Maybe actually stick to the holy water.” She shot Bex a worried look. “It was. I wouldn’t have grabbed you otherwise. I… It was really pretty. I kept wanting to dive in, too. But you did say no jumping, so.” She’d thought she had seen the sky as well, but she hadn’t thought much of it. Now she was concerned, but it could wait. “One time is far too many. But, yes, I can start tomorrow. I know I can manage. Well… maybe. I think you’ll be the most difficult person I’ve ever looked after.” She couldn’t help but study Bex’s face, her eyes, her lips. Oh no. She felt a tightness in her chest. Instead of paying it any mind, though, instead of dwelling on it and letting it take over, she turned her head to fully face the sky. But her eyes flickered back and forth, glancing at the sky and then at Bex and then back at the sky. “It’s lovely.”

Bex was too fixated on the sky to notice Mina’s eyes flicking between her and the painting they were laying under. “Yeah, she mentioned that, too. Wood and garlic, I guess.” What a strange weakness to have, garlic. Then again, Bex had food weaknesses. She wondered if it was like that, like allergies. She watched a cloud drift into shadow and the colors of its base change from yellow to orange to a deep red, almost purple. Sometimes she wished she could just float away like clouds, drifting on the wind. “Calling me difficult actually takes away from your credentials, you know.” But there was an airyness to her voice, lofty and quiet. “Isn’t it?” She hadn’t felt this free in ages. If it were up to her, they’d stay here all night, looking up at the sky. Watch the cloud turn to stars, and the stars turn to dawn’s light. Without much prompting, she unfurled her fingers from Mina’s, lifting her arm, and scooted her way over, until her head was resting on Mina’s shoulder, and she wrapped her arm around her. “I’m glad Nell suggested this to you,” she finally said, “I think I really needed this.”

“Yeah, garlic’s good, too. I always forget about garlic. It just irritates them, really.” At least, that’s what Mina had learned. Her dad wasn’t a slayer, she most definitely wasn’t a slayer, they rarely went after vampires, so she’d only learned the most important information: holy water burns, holy symbols hurt, and stakes kill. What else was there to know about vampires? “I’m just being truthful. That’s actually one of my skill sets: complete truthfulness to any questions asked.” When Bex pulled away, she lifted her head, a bit confused, but settled back pretty easily when she figured out what Bex was doing. Again with all of the touching. Not that she minded. She didn’t mind, but it was so confusing. It was so nice, and comforting, and, really, she wasn’t used to feeling comforted, so maybe that was why it was so confusing. She swallowed back some of that tightness and rested her head against Bex’s. She didn’t want to think about that right now. She wanted to just stay there and look at the sky. It really was pretty. “Yeah, I’m glad she did, too.” Even if Nell wouldn’t stop bothering her with questions. “I needed it, too.”

“Do you think it’s weird?” Bex asked, settling into the nook of Mina’s shoulder. “That, like, movies and popular media stuff got so much of it right? Do you think it’s because that stuff is written by people in the know?” She’d wondered that for a bit now, ever since Dani joked about how she should’ve known it was a vampire simply because of movies. “OH, ha ha. Very funny. You know, just for that, I might actually make it even more difficult for you to watch after me. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll figure something out.” From the outside, someone might have assumed Bex was really an affectionate person, especially with the way she acted around Mina. But that was far from the truth. Somehow, though, all she wanted to do was be touching Mina, in whatever way possible. Shoulders, hands, arms. Anything would do. She made her feel safe. Comfortable. Warm. Like the shades of the setting sky, fading from blue to purple to orange, to pink. White clouds dotting the canvas. Bex reached up and took Mina’s hand again, playing with her fingers. “Hey, Mina?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t really know how much movies and popular media got right? I mean, from what I know, The Mummy was a terrible depiction of reanimated corpses.” Mina had to think about it for a moment, what she knew about that counted as popular media. “And… some of the stuff that we read in Morgan’s class is… close? I don’t really know, though. I mean, someone wrote down something accurate at some point and distributed it, and now here we are.” She shrugged before she narrowed her eyes at the side of Bex’s head, even knowing that the younger girl couldn’t see her. “I’d rather you didn’t make things difficult, please,” she said, but, really, did she expect any different? She settled back, catching Bex’s hand with her own and rubbing the palm of Bex’s hand with her thumb. “Yeah?”

“Okay, well, the Mummy doesn’t count cause it didn’t get anything right, technically,” Bex huffed. “But things like Dracula get scary close to the real thing. From what I know.” Stakes, garlic, holy symbols. She should’ve paid more attention in High School English. She nestled a little further into Mina, feeling her chest both seize up and somehow relax. Her entire body felt relaxed, and yet her heart was pounding. She’d felt like this once before. “Okay,” she conceded without much fight, “I won’t.” Her eyes wandered back up to the sky, and she watched as all the warm colors began to fade. Clouds began to blend in with the sky, disappearing into nighttime. They should probably start heading back, before it got too dark, too dangerous, but Bex just wanted to stay here. All night. Maybe even all day tomorrow. The waterfalls were still echoing around everywhere, wind rustling leaves, the quiet hum of insects chirping for the nightfall. Bex somehow felt at peace, out here, like this place was a haven. “I’m glad I met you,” she finally answered.

#chatzy #wickedswriting #champlain falling for you #chatzy: mina #mina #domestic abuse mention tw #//this...got long and i blame kat and ria

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