#but it is our high holiday and usually I would point to a Christmas miracle no matter the time of year

[thresholdbb]

I've come back to Time and Again... it's a threshold day miracle!

[capcarolsdanver]

A Christmas Carol

Summary: You’re left with the disappointing fact that you will likely be spending yet another Christmas without your girlfriend, Carol Danvers. Your friends offer you support, but all you really need right now is your girlfriend to return from space to be with you for your favourite holiday. Can you count on a Christmas miracle? Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader A/N: Well... it’s not quite Christmas still, but I severely underestimated how busy I would be over the holidays, so please enjoy this late Christmas fic! Feedback is always appreciated so please let me know what you think! Please do not repost any of my writing anywhere else without my permission.

The annual Avengers Christmas get together is in full swing, and your eyes sweep out across the room to all of your closest friends around you. Of course, everyone’s having a great time, and the open space of the large party hall at Avenger HQ is full of laughter and joyous chatter amongst the guests.

Thor, who still doesn’t exactly understand Christmas, just seems happy to get to spend time with his favourite people. He brought along a generous supply of Asgardian alcohol for those who have what would be classified as a very high tolerance to alcohol, so as expected everyone is in a very joyous mood.

You yourself had found a spot on one of the couches surrounding a small table and had barely moved the whole night, feeling more in the mood to spectate in the festivities rather than participate this year.

Not to say that you’re sitting on your own in some miserable slump, because you are genuinely trying to enjoy everybody’s company, but you can’t deny the Carol-sized void that is particularly evident anywhere you go. Especially during the holidays.

As if to emphasise it, Steve, who’s sitting opposite you from across the small table, catches your eye.

“So, Y/N. When’s your lady coming home?”

He asks you kindly, with a warm smile, as Steve always does. Despite this, you can’t help it when your own smile falters and everyone sitting in your immediate proximity grows quiet, regarding you with sympathy.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Steve rushes to say when he seems to realise his mistake.

“No, don’t be,” you’re quick to reassure. “I knew what I was getting into when I started dating Carol. I can’t exactly expect space crime to conveniently stop in time for the holidays, can I?”

You choose not to bring up that this will be the third Christmas in a row that you have to spend without Carol, but you still feel the pity practically radiating from every person in the group.

“Okay, who else thinks it’s time for shots?” Sam yells loud enough to be heard over the music by everyone, and the group seems to loudly agree. You remind yourself to thank Sam later for successfully shifting everyone’s attention from you.

Everyone scrambles to each grab a shot. You remain seated on the couch, and moments later Nat takes her own spot on the couch next to you and presses a shot glass into your hands just in time for everybody to simultaneously start counting down from 3.

Somewhere between shouting and cheering, everyone downs their shots, and you all seem to collectively wince. You and Nat both grimace at the burn of the alcohol and it manages to get a chuckle from you.

Nat drops her shot glass on the table before she turns to face you again.

“So. Real talk,” she raises an eyebrow as if warning you not to try to back away from the conversation. “When did you last speak to Carol?”

“A couple weeks ago,” you admit, sighing. “She left on some mission about a month ago. But you know how it is when she’s working up there. It’s so hard for either of us to contact the other.”

Nat smiles sadly. “I’m sorry.” She pats your knee and you shrug at her, though you feel like you’re able to let your guard down a bit now that everyone else in preoccupied.

“Yeah, it sucks,” you let out, feeling Carol’s absence hit you all over again. Your eyes fill with tears that threaten to spill over.

Unexpectedly, and uncharacteristically, Nat pulls you into a hug. You give yourself little time to think about her rare show of affection before you gratefully wrap your arms around her and rest your chin on her shoulder.

“Did she tell you how long the mission might last?”

You shake her head. “No, she just said she might not be able to contact me until she was done.”

“Okay, I think you need another drink,” Nat says, releasing you from her arms. “I’ll be back.”

You quickly wipe at your eyes at the chance of any rogue tears that managed to fall and smile at her before she stands up and heads towards the bar.

————————

On the morning of Christmas Eve, you wake up with a start to some kind of commotion going from somewhere outside the room. You quickly survey your surroundings, remembering that you had decided the previous night to just stay at Avengers HQ after the party, like almost everyone else had. You’re in your old room that you used to live in before you and Carol had moved out together.

The commotion that had woken you up appears to still be going on if the shouting from somewhere outside your closed door is any indiction, so you begrudgingly get up to go investigate.

You follow the loud intrusion of sound into the kitchen, where you aren’t all that surprised to find Bucky and Sam shouting and gesturing wildly at one another.

“Dude, don’t lie. You literally stole my pop tart straight from my plate!” Bucky looks livid. Opposite him, Sam throws his arms out away from his body, matching Bucky’s outrage.

“You have no proof, you moron.”

“Why do I need proof when there was no one else around? It couldn’t have been anyone else.”

You continue watching their exchange, entirely unsurprised that they are blowing up over something as small as a pop tart. You’re half considering just heating another pop tart to shut them up when Nat leans on the wall next to you, taking a sip from her steaming mug of coffee while her eyes also land on the boys.

“Bet you’re glad you don’t wake up to this kind of thing everyday in that fancy apartment of yours, huh?”

“You can say that again,” you laugh. Though, of course, you probably do prefer waking up to these regular early morning antics from the boys than to the empty silence of your apartment whenever Carol isn’t there with you.

“You’re still coming with us to look at Christmas lights tonight, right?”

To be honest, you’d completely forgotten about Steve’s plan for you all to go on some Christmas light trail that night, and although Christmas is generally your favourite holiday, you find yourself not really in the mood to celebrate it this year.

But then again, anything to take your mind off of Carol’s absence sounds appealing to you right now.

“You bet.”

————————

You trail the group, looking around you at all the incredible Christmas displays people have decorated their homes with. There was absolutely no denying how beautiful the entire street is, but as much as you try you just can’t seem to get out of your own head.

Steve’s leading the group and you can hear them all excitedly chatting, pointing out particularly well decorated houses, but you’re content to linger towards the back of the group and take everything in on your own. You know you’re lacking the Christmas spirit needed to participate with them right now, anyway.

A solid hand is suddenly falling around your shoulders, successfully shaking you from whatever broody train of thought you were on as you almost jump out of your skin. Your head snaps to the person you were now attached to, seeing Thor’s wide smile. He tugs you closer to him in an almost brotherly fashion.

“Lovely night, isn’t it?”

“I suppose it is,” you manage, after your heart beat finally slows back down to a normal rate again.

“Ah, you’re yet to hear from Carol, I presume?” Thor asks. You’ve gotta give him credit. As much as he’s completely enthralled by the Christmas lights surrounding you, Thor can still pick up on your solemn mood with remarkable ease.

“You presume correctly.”

You see Thor hesitate for only a moment before he speaks. “Might I offer a few words, Y/N?”

“Sure,” you say, sighing. What could you lose from hearing what he has to say? Plus, the Asgardian usually provided you with some pretty solid advice.

“Please give Carol a little patience. I know firsthand how difficult it can be to communicate with you all while I’m not here.” You soften at Thor’s words, not even aware of how tense your body was. “You all are my family. And it hurts when I’m unable to talk to any of you whenever I’d like,” he explains. “So, please just remember that Carol is likely just as anxious to speak with you as well.”

“Right,” you say more to yourself. Thor’s words somehow do make you feel some kind of comfort in the fact that Carol wasn’t choosing to go so long without talking to you. Not that you thought she was, but the reassurance helps.

Thor squeezes your shoulder in comfort and loosens his grip from around your shoulders, but before he can leave your side again you grab his arm.

“Thank you, Thor,” you say sincerely, and he gives you an understanding smile before leaving you to your own thoughts again.

At some point a little later, Steve seems to notice from his spot at the front of the pack that you’re still lagging behind, because he drops his pace to fall into step with you.

“Are you having a good night, Y/N?”

“Yeah, it’s nice,” you smile. As distracted as you’ve been, it’s hard to miss how much fun the others in your group are having. “Thanks for organising this, Steve.”

He returns your smile and nods. “Well, for most of us, we’re all we’ve got. I figured it was time to start making some traditions of our own.”

“Well I like that sound of that,” you say. You really do appreciate everything Steve does for every single one of you, and he was right. You are family. Personally, if it weren’t for the Avengers, you would have no one else. You know the same applies for many of you, the man you were currently talking to included.

“Hey, listen,” Steve says in a considerably more careful tone. “I wanted to apologise again for bringing up Carol last night.”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” you reassure him, shaking your head.

“I know, but-” He shrugs. “I just feel bad about bringing her up when we were supposed to be getting into the Christmas spirit last night. I mean, what is this, your second Christmas without Carol?”

“My third, actually,” you mutter, clearing your throat and dropping your eyes to the pavement in front of you.

“Shit, here I go again,” he curses, watching you. “I’m sorry.”

“Steve, stop apologising,” you say firmly. “Seriously, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

You take a scan of your surroundings. The street sign catches your eye and you realise you’re only a few blocks away from your apartment, which sounds like an awfully appealing place to be right now. You were exhausted from your previous late night, plus, what little Christmas spirit you did have has been all but spent this far into the Christmas light trail.

“Oh, you know what? We’re pretty close to my apartment. I think I might call it a night.”

Steve’s eyes widen and his features settle into a look of guilt. “You aren’t going to come back to HQ with the rest of us?”

“Nah, I think I just want to head home. I’m pretty tired.”

“Oh man, I totally ruined your night, didn’t I?” Steve shakes his head at himself, his look of guilt deepening even further. “I can’t believe I brought Carol up again.”

You interrupt Steve’s inevitable continued apologies before he can even start.

“Steve, no. My brain was never going to turn off tonight, anyway. It wouldn’t matter if none of you mentioned Carol the entire day, I still would have thought of her.”

Steve looks fairly unconvinced, still clearly internally scolding himself. Though you notice his features soften and eventually he nods.

“Do you need someone to walk with you?”

“I’ll be fine. It’s really not far at all.”

“Alright,” he hesitantly agrees. “But we’ll see you in the morning to exchange gifts and everything, right?”

“Right,” you laugh. “Hey, do me a favour and let everyone else know I left early. Nat would never let me leave a group activity early if I told her I wanted to.”

“No problem,” Steve laughs.

You give his forearm a quick squeeze in thanks, waving to him before you make your way towards your apartment.

————————

You’ve barely even made it a block before your phone starts ringing. You fish it out from your pocket, assuming that it’s Nat, calling to berate you for leaving the group early. Without even checking the caller ID, you answer.

“I don’t want to hear it, I’m not coming back,” you say, not leaving opportunity for the person on the other line to get a word in first.

“Coming back to where?”

The voice on the other line is not Nat. In fact, it’s the last voice you were expecting to hear tonight.

“Carol?!” You practically squeal into the phone, stopping dead in your tracks.

“Hey, baby,” she says and you instantly melt, having gone weeks without hearing her voice.

“Oh my god. Hi,” you greet back, feeling like you could burst into tears at any given minute.

“You okay there?” You can practically hear her smirk and the image of it in your mind makes you smile.

“Yeah, I just can’t believe I’m hearing your voice right now.”

“Well you better believe it, babe, because it’s definitely happening.”

Your brain finally recovers from the shock enough to ask a vital question. “Wait, does this mean your mission is over?”

“Mmhm,” she confirms. “Finished a couple days ago, actually, but this is the first chance I’ve had to be able to call you.”

You can’t help the sudden hopefulness that you feel. If the mission ended a couple of days ago and she was already on her way back to Earth, then it was entirely possible that she could be back within the next day.

You let out a deep breath, your emotions almost getting the best of you. With your mind racing a million miles a minute, you subconsciously start taking some more steps forward. The snow beneath your feet crunches slightly with every step you take.

“Where are you?” She asks curiously, and you assume she’s heard the sounds of your footsteps.

“Uh, I’m on my way to the apartment.”

“Wait, you’re walking to the apartment? Alone?!”

“Hey, I can handle myself,” you chuckle. “I am an Avenger, remember? Besides, I’m only a couple of blocks away.”

“Oh yeah?” Her voices lilts slightly. “Why are you even walking the streets at night, anyway?”

“How do you know it’s nighttime? Doesn’t everywhere look like night in space?” You can’t help but tease and Carol laughs.

“Well, is it nighttime?”

“…Yes,” you admit. “But that’s nothing more than a lucky guess.”

“Uh huh,” Carol replies, and you can hear her smirk through the phone again. The things you would do to see that smirk in person at this moment…

“Anyway,” you interrupt your own train of thought. “I was with everyone up until a few minutes ago. We were out looking at lights.”

“Lights? What kind of lights are so special that you’ve gotta go out in a group to go look at them?”

You’re left dumbstruck for a moment. She surely hasn’t forgotten what time of year it is, has she? You’d only reminded her about a month ago, and she knows how much you love the holiday. You assumed she would have remembered.

“We were looking at Christmas lights,” you clarify.

“Oh. Well now it makes sense,” you laughs. “Isn’t it a little too soon to be looking at Christmas lights, though?”

You’re hit with the fact that she’s actually forgotten what time of year it is. You try to shake off the sudden disappointment, though you’re a little too aware that if she has forgotten the date then she likely hasn’t begun her journey back to Earth just yet either. Which means another Carol-less Christmas for you once more.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” you eventually mutter into the phone.

“It is?” She sounds vaguely surprised at your clarification. “Huh. I guess it’s pretty easy to lose track of time up here.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

“So you’re heading back to the apartment?” She continues on as if you hadn’t just revealed to her that your favourite holiday is mere hours away. You can’t exactly be mad at her, though. As she said, it’s easy to lose track of time while she’s doing important work up in space. “Why not HQ with everyone else?”

“I just felt like being home, I guess,” you explain. “I wasn’t in the Christmas spirit and we were pretty close to the apartment, so I decided to head home early.”

You hear Carol hum in acknowledgement as you use your keycard to get into your apartment building. You start up the flight of stairs leading to your apartment.

“So, when do you think you’ll be back?” You can’t help but ask. Realistically, you have known for weeks that Carol likely wouldn’t make it back in time for Christmas. Though, with Christmas Day only a few hours away, and your short-lived hopes of her returning any day now, the disappointment of her not being here is fresh once again.

“Soon,” Carol says vaguely and you frown.

“Soon? That could mean anything,” you complain. “Don’t you have at least some idea of when you’ll be back?” You can’t help the slight bite to your tone, the frustration of everything seemingly growing by the minute.

You fumble with your keys, your current conversation leaving you preoccupied enough to struggle with the basic task of locating the correct key on your keychain to grant you entrance into your apartment.

“I don’t know, babe,” you hear Carol say and you finally unlock the door, pushing it open and walking into your apartment, slamming the door shut behind you. “Why don’t you tell me?”

Her voice sounds suddenly different, louder, and you twist around on the spot until you’re facing your living room.

You gasp when you see her. Carol is standing beside your Christmas tree. Her eyes are on you and she still has her phone pressed to her ear. The only thing that rivals the bright lights of the tree is her wide grin, bright enough to light up the room all on its own.

Your wide eyes refuse to blink as you look back at her. You’re suddenly all out of words.

You watch as Carol takes one step closer, and then another, until she’s closing the distance between the two of you. The closer she gets to you, the softer her smile grows.

“You’re here,” you whisper into your phone. Carol lowers her own phone, coming to a stop directly in front of you.

“I’m here,” she returns, her own voice barely above a whisper too.

“Hi,” you say dumbly and Carol smiles adoringly at you. She gently takes your phone from your hand and drops it down onto your couch along with her own.

“Hi.”

Before you know what you’re doing, you abruptly tackle her in a tight hug. If she weren’t Captain Marvel you might have been worried about her balance, but she remains steady, wrapping you up in her strong arms.

Without even realising it, tears are spilling out of your eyes and running down your cheeks, and you let out a deep breath you weren’t even aware you were holding, pressing your face into Carol’s neck and breathing in her scent. You feel the lightest you’ve felt in months.

Carol hears your sniffling and takes a step back to look at you. She keeps ahold of your sides.

“You okay?”

“Are you kidding?” You choke out a laugh amidst your tears. “I’m more than okay, Carol. What are you even doing here?”

You still can’t believe your eyes. You can’t believe that the love of your life is standing right in front of you when only moments ago you still believed that she was in outer space.

“What, you really thought I’d let you spend another Christmas without me? It’s your favourite holiday, you know?” She lets go of her hold on your left side to tuck an errant strand of hair behind your ear. “You know how much it killed me having to miss the last two Christmases with you.”

You shake your head in disbelief, completely in awe of the woman in front of you.

“I love you so much, Carol.”

“I love you too.” She barely has time to get the words out before your mouth is pressed against hers in a kiss that’s long overdue. You only pull back for a moment when your smile literally grows too big to continue kissing Carol. You both break into laughter, giddy at the joy of finally being together again.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” You say the words that repeat over and over in your mind. Carol’s intense gaze regards you and she smiles at you sweetly.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Merry Christmas, Carol,” you reply before your lips are meeting hers again.

————————

The next morning, you wake up to the sound of Christmas carols playing from the living room and the smell of fresh coffee drifting in through your open bedroom door. You can hear Carol softly singing along to the music, and you smile sleepily.

Nat was right. You’ve never been more glad to wake up to the sounds of your apartment than you are right now.

[janicho88]

Fire, Fur & Mistletoe Chapter 3

Pairing- Eventual Dean x Female Reader.

Word Count-2,383

Warning- Mentions of: loss of parents, death, and fires.  Possible swearing. Slight angst. Fluff

Summary- A rewrite of the Nine Lives of Christmas, Hallmark movie. AU, Dean is a firefighter who doesn’t do commitment, the Holiday’s don’t mean much to him.  Coming home after a shift he finds a dog in trouble.  The reader is a veterinary student who works in a coffee shop trying to make it to graduation, until someone causes problems there for her.  She isn’t interested in finding anyone other than her own dog until after she finishes school.  Do their four legged friends have other plans?

A/N- This series is written for @spnchristmasbingo.  The square filled for this chapter is Christmas Tree  The first two chapters will stay closer to the movie than the rest will.  

This chapter also fills my entry for @supernatural-love14​,100 Followers writing challenge.  Prompt - I don’t remember the last time I truly enjoyed Christmas.

This has its own tag list and it is open.  That way I am not tagging anyone who doesn’t want to be tagged in Christmas stories.   This story is unbeta’d.

Header by the amazing @winchest09

Divider from freepngimg.com

Series Masterlist

To say you were surprised to end up at an elementary school would be an understatement.    Dean’s group of fascinating people were the kindergarten classes. He even had plastic fireman hats for them, and of course an extra one for you. 

The kids were so caught up in his speech about fire safety and the important things to remember if there ever is a fire.  He was so good with them and kept them all interested.  He finished his presentation talking about Christmas trees and how they should all make sure their parents keep them watered, so the lights don’t catch them on fire. 

Dean took questions at the end.  Some of the boys wanted to know what it was like to drive the fire truck, someone asked if it was fun to slide down the pole.  They were disappointed when Dean told them there wasn’t one where he worked.  One little girl at the end ran up and gave him a great big hug before you guys left.  He was so adorable with her. 

When you left there Dean asked if you were interested in helping him pick out tiles for the kitchen backsplash.  You didn’t have anything else to do and had been enjoying helping him with the house so you agreed. 

Getting to the store he had three different ones selected and had you help him decide.  After the paint he trusted your opinion on the color selection.   

They had enough in stock of your choice to let you two get started on it when you got home.  The rest would be in soon.  You had a system worked out, you put the mastic on the back and Dean applied the tile to the wall. 

That afternoon Dean headed into work for another 24 hour shift. The second call of the afternoon was for a house fire.  Thankfully for the residents it was mostly contained to one room, just the living room.  But that room had a bit of damage done.

Hoping out of the truck back at the station he asks, “Okay who seriously is going to BBQ a turkey in the fireplace.  And plan on doing it twice because this was just going to be a test run before Christmas?”

“It’s the Holidays,”  Bobby stated.  “People are going to be doing crazy things.  You’ve been here a few years don’t you know this by now.”

“That is true.  Y/N and I were talking about that earlier after we left the school presentation.”

“Wait, WE, left the presentation?  Did you take her with you?”  Benny wanted to know.

“Well,”

“She’s living with him now, didn’t you know that?” Sam asks him.

“What, really?”  Benny couldn’t believe it.

“She moved in a couple days ago.”

“Wow, you two move fast.”

“It’s not like that you idiots.  She got kicked out of her condo and had nowhere else to go, and she already got fired because of me.  I’m just giving her a place to stay till she figures things out.  The house has the room.  Our dogs get along great.”

“Is that why Miracle isn’t here?”  Cas wants to know.

“Yeah, Y/N’s taking care of him and Dean. He’s falling in love.”

“Who Dean or Miracle?” Cas questions Sam.

“Dean, probably both.  She is very easy to like.”

“You’ve met her, besides that day she was in here?”  Benny wanted to know.

“Yeah, Dean called me to help move her.”

“I would have helped the nice pretty girl move, why didn’t you ask me to help?”

“I’m not sure packing would have been the only thing you tried with her, Benny.  I just found her again, I’m not letting you scare her off.”

“He didn’t deny the love.”  Sam says with a smile. 

“I’m not falling in love with anyone, bitch.”  Dean shakes his head at the whole thing as he removes his gear. 

“I’m sorry, my jerk of a brother, is falling in love, but he doesn’t know it yet.”

“That can’t be true Dean, come on man.  I look up to you, playing the field avoiding commitment, a constant string of beautiful women.”

“It’s not true, we aren’t falling in love, not dating.  I still don’t do commitment, and never getting married.”

“So what are you doing with Miracle if you don’t do commitment?”  Bobby asks as he takes off his coat.”

“Temporary long termish house guest.”

“Uh huh.”

“I told him when the house is sold he’s on his own.”

“Let us know how that works out in a couple of months, you idjit.”

“I’m calling your bluff with the girl.  Can you say no to these three things.”

“Really Cas?”

Cas ignores Dean and continues on, “ You live with her?  That’s a yes.  Two, you spend all your free time with her? Yes.”

“Well.”

“Three, you think about her when you aren’t with her? Yes,”

“No, no, you have it all wrong.  Like I said she is only staying till she gets back on her feet.  We are getting to know each other so we hang out, but only  because she’s already there.”

“Getting to know each other like you would if you were dating someone?”

“Shut it Sam.”

“Are you saying he is falling in love?  The legend, is human after all?”  Benny questioned.

“No, I’m not falling in love.  Y/N is a temporary roommate.  That’s it.”

“Man, you are like five minutes away from marrying this girl.”  Sam tells him.

“I hate you all.”  Gear off Dean leaves them behind to take a shower.

“Keep telling yourself that!”  Bobby yells after him.

Wandering around Dean’s house alone while he was at work, you got to thinking.  There was one thing you were really missing this close to Christmas, and it was something you didn’t think you would be able to have this year.  A Christmas tree.

When Dean gets home the next afternoon you bring it up.

“I was wondering if you were going to get a Christmas tree this year?”

“Usually don’t.  I don’t think I’ve had one in a few years.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen a reason too.  I buy a house, fix it up and sell it.  Usually I don’t stay in one long enough.  I don’t do much for the Holidays.  Why do you ask?”

“I was thinking maybe we could get a tree?  I have a little artificial tabletop tree, but wouldn’t it be nice to have a real one?  To have that Christmas smell when you walk in the door?”

“If you like real ones so much why didn’t you already have one in your place?”

“It was against the bylaws. Apparently too much of a fire liability.”

“That didn’t stop you with Dakota.”

“The tree can’t be hidden quickly like she was.  She was worth risking it for.”

“You really want to get a tree?”

“Please, it helps it feel more like Christmas.  If you don’t want one I understand.”

Dean threw his head back and sighed.  “Fine we can go get a tree.  I think there is a tree lot near the station that hasn’t sold out yet.”

“Let’s go to a tree farm, get the whole experience.”

“You’ll be the death of me Sweetheart.”

Dean didn’t have to work at all the following day, so after breakfast the two of you headed out to the Christmas tree farm.  Dressed in warm clothes and boots you were ready to walk all around the 8 acre tree farm if you needed to, just to find the right tree.   There was a wagon ride that took you around to the different types of trees.  Dean and you got off in the back lot figuring you could walk your way toward the entrance. 

“There’s a tree,”  Dean points out as you start walking down the first row.

“Yes, and it’s also like four foot tall.  It’s still growing, let the baby be.”

“Okay, miss Christmas tree expert.  How do you pick the perfect Christmas tree?”

“It’s really pretty scientific you know.”

“Oh really? Please do explain it to me.”

You laughed at his expression. He had turned to you with wide eyes and a cheeky little grin.  Like he was going to absorb whatever you said.  “You dork.”  Heading over to a tree you reach for a branch pulling your hand back toward you slowly.  “First you need to check the freshness.  If the needles stay on when you do that it’s good.”

You drop your hand to the side, “Then you need to inhale deeply and see how it smells.”

Dean did just that, “It smells like a tree.”

“Okay, but does it smell Christmassy.”

“Christmassy?  Pretty sure you just made that word up.”  

“Nope it’s totally in the dictionary.”

“Okay, Webster.  Then what does it mean?”

“To be filled with Christmas spirit.”

Dean just stared at you for a moment.  “You think a tree is going to smell like it’s filled with Christmas spirit?  Just wondering if you were drinking before I got up this morning?”

“Oh come on, it’s that fresh cut pine smell that fills the whole place and makes it feel like Christmas.”

“Whatever you say, I’ll leave the nose work to you.  What is step three?”  He wants to know as you two walk down the lane looking at the trees around you.

“The lean test.  You need to look at a tree straight on, then lean to the right and to the left, then stand back up straight.  You don’t want a tree that is leaning too hard one way and is crooked.”  You stop to inspect a tree, but continue on down your way.

The fourth step is checking the trunk and making sure nothing is wrong with it.  Sometimes the tree might be straight but that isn’t.  Or it could have a double one that won’t fit in a tree stand.”

“Height is important too.  Your ceilings are fairly high so we could get a foot tree no problem.”

Dean is just smiling listening to you go on about trees while you walk through the lot. “Yep that is extremely scientific.”

You two stopped and looked at different ones but kept going.  There was one you stuck a stick up in top of to mark if you didn’t find anything else you liked. Around an hour into your search you stopped in your tracks.  Dean was lost in his thoughts and took him a moment to notice.  

“That’s the one.”

“The one?”

“Yep, that’s the tree we should get.”

“There is only one?  How do you know it’s the one? What if you are wrong, but you’ve already committed to it?  What happens then, fighting and hurting the kids?”

“You lost me, Dean.”

“I um,”  He just realized what all came out of his mouth. “I  mean it’s a great tree.  Let’s get that one.”

“You sure you are alright?”

“Yep great.  Hold that steady, till I need you to push a little, will you?”

While you were helping to hold the tree from moving too much Dean got on the ground and started sawing back and forth till he had it lying on the ground.  You couldn’t help but notice the muscles in his arms as he worked. 

The two of you carried the tree toward the path in the hopes the wagon would be around soon and you wouldn’t have to carry it all the way to the front.  Thankfully only about five minutes later you could hear it coming around.  Up at the front they shook and bagged the tree for you.  

They also had Santa, and some petting animals around.

“Did you want to go tell Santa your Christmas wish?”  You asked Dean.

“You know, I already saw him this year.  He and I are pretty tight.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

After seeing the animals you hopped in his truck and headed to the store.  Neither of you had a stand that would fit the newly bought tree.  With that accomplished you were on your way back to the house.  Getting the tree inside it was set up in the living room not to far from the fire place, but not near enough to catch any sparks that may pop out. 

Dean didn’t have any decorations in the house, but you had some you had been saving.  After the lights were on you went to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate for the two of you and pulled out some of the peanut butter blossom cookies you made the day before.  Coming back Dean still hadn’t turned on the tv so you asked if you could.  Finding the different music channels you finally came across a Christmas one.

The two of you were enjoying the music and each other’s company as you decorated the tree. 

It was late afternoon by the time everything was done and cleaned up.  You offered to start dinner and Dean came in to help you.  The two of you working easily in the newly finished kitchen. 

After dinner you two retired back to the living room turning off the lights in the room and just letting the tree shine.  There was a roaring fire going, The Santa Clause 2 playing on tv.  Chet had to be one of your favorite reindeer in training. It was very relaxing.  

After the movie Dean mutes the television and turns to you.  “Thank you for suggesting the tree.  It’s actually really nice to have it.  I don’t remember the last time I truly enjoyed Christmas.  My parents fought a lot when we were little after the fire, before and after separating.  After we lost them it was just Sam and I.  Both of us just worked double shifts on Christmas at the station so others could have the time off.  Now Sam has Jess so he works part of the day, but doesn’t do a double anymore so he can spend time with her and her family.

He looks around at the decorations on the mantle, “I wouldn’t be opposed if you had some other small decorations you wanted to get out too.”

“Okay, I’ll see what I have that won’t be in the way.”

He turns the volume back up and the two of you settle back to watch another movie.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 4 

Tags- @winchest09  @waywardbeanie @whatareyousearchingfordean  @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @jensengirl83 @abuavnee @lunarmoon8 @amyzombie1013 @akshi8278 @that-one-gay-girl @mandalou29  @igotmadskills

[benevolentbirdgal]

A guide to 13 Jewish holidays / Jewish Writing Advice

Depending on how you want to count, there are theoretically 47 Jewish holidays, assuming you count all minor, major, and modern celebrations, both minor and major fasts, special shabbats, and each Rosh Chodesh (new month) individually. Since that post would be A) neverending, B) probably not useful in its entirety here, and C) really not applicable to most Jews you meet or write, I’m going to tell you about 13 celebrations (12 holidays plus the category of Rosh Chodesh and the category of special Shabbats), which will be plenty long enough. Maybe I’ll write a super-niche passionate post about the minor fasts or modern holidays later, but today is not that day. 

Usual disclaimers: I’m one me. The Jewish community is 14 million and super diverse. These are broad strokes and local tradition may vary. I operate from an American context and communal gathering/food sharing practices come from the Before Times (in some cases, the long before now times). 

I’m going to go in the order of the Jewish calendar, instead of likelihood of celebration, and note the most popular ones as I go. Three general notes as well: I will be using the most common transliteration/translation of the Hebrew names, Jewish holidays (and days in general) start at sunset and operate on a separate calendar that fluctuates relative to the secular Gregorian calendar. The Hebrew dates are listed with the months they generally fall in on the Gregorian calendar. Holidays marked with an * will likely merit their own list at some point. 

Additionally, how long many holidays last also varies depending on location. For some holidays (NOT fasts), diaspora (outside Israel) Jews celebrate an extra day for Jewish-diaspora-is-complicated-story-for-another-time reasons. I will note these holidays. 

*Rosh HaShanah (Tishrei 1, September-October): Jewish new year (well, one of four, but for the purposes of our discussion today, the Jewish new year). 1a. Typically celebrated by synagogue attendance, consumption of foods that are sweet and/or round (or have heads, like fish heads). Longer services than normal Saturday morning services but not by much, even when combined with regular Shabbat services. Big time to gather with families for a large meal. 1b. Lots of blowing of shofars at specific times, shofars, which are cleaned and sometimes painted ceremonial ram’s horns (we’re operating on 1200 B.C.E. tech here). Some of us are very good at blowing the shofar. Some of us are assuredly not.  1c. One of the most common holidays to celebrate, part of the “High Holidays.” If your character is remotely observant or has a very Jewish family, they celebrate this holiday.  1d. One day in Israel, two in the diaspora. 

Yom Kippur (Tishrei 10, September-October): The second holiday in the “High Holidays.” Yom Kippur is ten days after Rosh HaShanah, known as the “Days of Awe” (or the “Days of Repentance”). The Days of Awe, outside of orthodoxy and people who do prayers every day, aren’t really celebrated outside of asking people for forgiveness and tashlich (throwing away sins by yeeting small pieces of bread or other small foodstuffs into a pond). 2a. Yom Kippur is a 25 hour fast. Fasting on Yom Kippur means the following: No food. No water. Medication is typically okay (and most denominations are 100% okay with food/water necessary to accompany medication). No sex. This is usually extended to no sexual contact in general. No wearing of leather. You’ll see a lot of sneakers on Yom Kippur. No perfumes or lotions. Bathing/washing. This one is the one most people ditch. 2b. Jewish “adults” who are not health-impaired are expected to fast. Pregnant women, sick people, and the elderly explicitly get a choice and most of the former two do not fast. Lots of old folks do and have very strong opinions about it (I fast, but have gotten second-hand awkward watching a healthy 23-year-old explain why they aren’t doing so to an 89 year old survivor who is). There are young/healthy/not pregnant people who choose not to fast, but this is generally frowned upon. 2c. One day holiday regardless of location. Starts at beginning of sunset one day and ends at complete darkness (ideally with three stars in the sky) the next. Fasts are typically broken as a group over a large meal.  2d. It’s very likely that your Jewish character “celebrates” Yom Kippur and whether they fast or not is likely a point of contention with their family. 2e. There are a bunch of different services and they are usually heinously long.  2f. Shofars are also super important here.  2g. Wearing white is traditional in many communities.  2h. Napping is a popular way to pass the time, especially among less traditionally observant Jews.

*Sukkot (Tishrei 15-22, September-October): The Festival of Booths, basically the Jewish Harvest Festival.  3a. Fairly common to celebrate but not as much as the High Holidays, Passover, or Hannukah.  3b. Celebrated by building a Sukkah, which is an at-least-three-sided TEMPORARY structure with a natural roof (corn, leaves, bamboo) that you can see the stars through. People will eat and sleep in the Sukkah, and go “Sukkah hopping” to visit other families’ Sukkahs.  3c. In addition to regular guests, there is kabbalah and traditional mysticism that the a different guest from Jewish history will join you in the Sukkah each night, known as the Ushpizin. The Ushpizin  Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Aaron, Joseph and David) are all male, and in the 20th century some Jews began the custom of honoring Ushpizot (female guests as well, adding Sarah, Miriam, Deborah, Hannah, Abigail, Hulda, and Esther (although some obscure lists of Ushpizot date back to the 15th century). 3d. Your Jewish character may not have a Sukkah. Their temple will have a communal one.  3e. It is customary to shake a lulav and etrog, also known as the four species. Three leaves and a citrus from specific plants are held together and shook in all six directions after the recitation of a prayer. I like to call this shake-the-plant, but it actually has a ton of different spiritual meanings traditionally ascribed to it. There is also a processional in synagogue with the lulav and etrog. 

Shmeni Atzeret (Tishrei 22, September-October): In Israel, the one day after Sukkot and in the diaspora the last day of Sukkot and the day after. There are some extra prayers and it marks a seasonal shift in prayers pertaining to rain. Unless your character is particularly religious/observant, they aren’t going to do anything extra. This holiday’s functions were mostly relevant during the Temple Periods in ancient Israel. 

*Simchat Torah (Tishrei 23, September-October): Simchat Torah celebrates the restarting of the Torah-reading cycle and overlaps with the second day of Shmeni Atzeret where there is a second day. Unlike in some other faiths where the congregation or leader generally chooses the text of the day, Jewish congregations are bound by the Parsha (portion) of the week for formal services/readings (as opposed to other forms of study). The 54 parshas are read over the course of the Jewish year, and the resetting of that cycle is Simchat Torah. In synagogues during services readings from from Torahs, which are large, heavy, physical scrolls. This is relevant during Simchat Torah particularly.  5a. Two days in the diaspora, one day in Israel. Intermediate level popularity.  5b. Seven hakafot (professionals) are performed by dancing around the synagogue while members alternate carrying the Torah. This is considered an honor. Simchat Torah is usually the only day all the Torahs are brought out (or at least the ones that are in good enough shape to be carried). Dancing is mixed outside of orthodoxy and separated within orthodoxy. Only Jewish adults are permitted to carry the Torah. Outside of orthodoxy this includes both men and women. Within some orthodox congregations, women-only circles will also include Torahs in their dancing.  5c. There are also smaller not-Torah-but-still-Holy scrolls and Torah-shaped-stuffies that children will sometimes carry and dance with.  5d. After the dancing, the final parsha is read aloud. This is the only time we read Torah at night (from the physical object Torah - we read books of the Torah in other forms at any hour). The scroll is then rolled back all the way to the first reading. Reading the first or last reading is a great honor. 

*Hanukkah (Kislev 25 - Tevet 2, November-December): Hannukah celebrates the victory of the Maccabees over the political and cultural oppression of the ancient Greeks in the 160s B.C.E. After the victory of the priestly-class-turned-warrior-bros over their oppressors, the Maccabees found the Temple seriously wrecked, both on a physical and spiritual level. They wanted to rededicate the temple, but only found one itty-bitty little jar of oil for the Menorah (seven-branched candelabra in the Temple), enough for one day. They figured it was better than nothing, and immediately sent out for more oil, which took eight days. That was the miracle of the lights, and where the Hanukiyah (eight-branched variant of the Menorah) comes from since the oil for one day lasted eight.  6a. Hanukkah is an immensely popular eight day festival. 6b. Religiously, Hanukkah actually isn’t super important. Religiously-significant practices for the holiday are lighting a Hannukiyah, telling the story of Hanukkah, and eating greasy foods.  6c. There are approximately a shabillion ways to spell Hanukkah, it’s not just  you. There are actually only two acceptable (really only one 100%) Hebrew spellings but transliteration is a bitch sometimes.  6d. Although not “Jewish Christmas” gifts on Hanukkah are a thing because of the proximity to Christmas. Hanukkah gifts as they now are are really a 1950s-forward thing because Jewish kids were starting to have Christian friends en-masse who were getting Christmas gifts at the same time a lot of the U.S. was experiencing an economic boom. Purim is actually the traditional gifting holiday.  6e. Related: Hanukkah parties are very popular, but much more cultural than religious.  6f. Dreidels have a weird AF history and their dubious origins (and half-dozen possible theories) truly merit their own post. In the U.S. they are played with chocolate coins or other not-money, elsewhere children frequently use their local equivalent of pennies instead. 

Tu Bishvat (Shevat 15, February-March): The Jewish new year/birthday of the trees. Functions like a Jewish Earth day - planting trees is popular. Fresh fruits are consumed in celebration of what trees give us. Some more religious families also do a ceremonial meal, a Tu Bishvat seder, but most Jews don’t. 

*Purim (Adar 14, February-March): Purim, an immensely popular holiday celebrates the survival of the Jews during the first exile period in the ancient kingdom of Persia. The text celebrates the strength of our community and the chutzpah of a Jewish woman, and is usually celebrated in practice like Jewish Halloween.  8a. The story really merits its own post, but the short of it is because shenanigans, antisemites, and booze-hound kings a Jewish lady named Hadassah became queen (hiding her Jewish identity and taking the Esther to do so), the king’s head advisor Haman wanted to kill-the-Jews-tm, Esther was able to prevent it by convincing the king that the Jews should be able to fight back, the Jews did so and won, Haman was executed, and Esther’s cousin/bestie Mordechai became the new advisor. [really, the full story is Hollywood-level drama, another post to come.] 8b.  Communities gather together to do communal readings of the book of Esther (in Hebrew or the lingua franca), it’s only about 10 chapters and takes an hour or two. The megillah is read once in the night and once in the day. Technically there are several megillahs for different books/holidays, but Jews are usually referring to Megalilat Esther (the book of Esther) when they say the megillah, definitely so on Purim. 8c. Costumes are donned by adults and children alike, both inspired by the story and otherwise. This is in honor of the hiddenness in the story (with both Esther and some other stuff we don’t have time for today). Synagogues often hold costume contests as a small break between chapters.  8d. Readings get ROWDY. It’s customary to boo and make noise using little noisemakers when Haman’s name is said aloud, as with the names of his also Jew-hating sons (which are traditionally said in one breath). There are also certain lines of the megillah read out loud together.  8e. It is a mizvah to give gifts (typically of food) to friends as well as to charity on Purim (two separate mitzvahs).  8f. It’s also a mitzvah to have a big special meal.  8g. It’s a common misconception that it’s a mitzvah to get so lit on Purim you can’t tell the difference between Haman the wicked and Mordechai the blessed. It’s not a Mitzvah, but there is some commentary in the Talmud saying that, so while not a commandment, “get lit to honor the party king goy who vouched for us and also because Jewish history requires drinking sometimes” is a historically-rooted take. Consequently, it’s very popular to drink a lot on Purim.  8h. Purim is, for all of the above, immensely popular with both children and adults despite being dark AF.  8i. Purim is the last holiday in the Torah itself (Hannukah is after).  8j. Purim is a one-day holiday unless you’re in a walled city (long story). 

*Passover (Nissan 15-22, March-April): Arguably the most important holiday, theologically. Passover celebrates the Exodus from Egypt.  9a. Families gather for Seders on the first night (Israel) and second night (Diaspora). The holiday is 7/8 days long and one of the most common to celebrate. In normal years it’s common for families to travel to have large gatherings together.  9b. In addition to regular kosher laws, “chametz” (basically leavened bread and bread-like things and most foods that bring joy). There are five grains that can make chametz, wheat, rye, barley, oats, and spelt.  Some communities historically forbade other foods that could be mistaken for chametz, like the Ashkenazi forbiddance of kitanyot (legumes, rice, corn, certain seeds), although that was revoked/voted on to be not an official custom by nonorthodox denominations in the late 20th and early 21st centuries.  9c. Seders are ceremonial meals with 15 steps, including the actual meal itself. The quickest Seders run maybe an hour plus the meal. The longest can run upwards of 6-8, depending on the denomination, family, and customs. It almost goes without saying that there’s a lot of food and wine involved.  9d. In addition to be prohibited for consumption, Chametz cannot be possessed or consumed on Passover, so Jews clean out their houses of Chametz, and temporarily sell it to a gentile friend or family member for the duration of the holiday.  9e. Passover-specific hanger is very real, especially after the post-Seder food-coma wears off. Especially if you already have dietary restrictions and can’t just do a meat-fast.  9f. During the Seder, the story of Passover is gradually told from Moses to the plagues to the Exodus itself. It is a fairly interactive telling/ceremony and the specific rituals to different parts of the Seder merit their own post.  9g. Synagogues also hold Seders, but at-home ones are very common. Whose home to go to for the Seder is often a very political choice. 

Lag BaOmer (Iyyar 18 for Ashkenazi, Iyyar 19 for Sephardi, May): The counting of the Omer is from the second day of Passover to Shavout. Passover is the leave from Egypt, Shavout is the getting of the Torah, the Omer is the in-between time. There are a bunch of restrictions during the Omer for long-story reasons, but  haircuts, shaving, listening to instrumental music, weddings, parties, and dinners with dancing are forbidden during the Omer. Lag BaOmer, the 33rd day of this count, is the exception. 10a. Consequently, for Jews who are abstaining from the aforementioned things, Lag BaOmer is popular to do those things.  10b. Many Jewish schools and synagogues will have counting activities for kids and prizes if they can count all the way to Shavuot on their sticker chart or equivalent.  10c. One day regardless of location.   10d. Bonfires are a super popular activity, usually accompanied by feasts. 10e. Not as popular as some others. 

Shavout (Sivan 6, May-June): Shavout celebrates the day Moses came down with the Torah and when the ancient Israelites in the desert formally chose to enter their covenant with God at Mount Sinai. It was also celebrated as an additional harvest festival in ancient times.  11a. Two days in the diaspora, one day in Israel. 11b. The “dairy holiday” because the Jews didn’t have any kosher meat and had just received the laws, including kosher.  12c. The book of Ruth is read on Shavout. There are several possible explanations, but the most popular is that she choose to be Jewish, just as the Jews did at Sinai.  12d. Torah studying all-nighters are traditional.  12e. Not as popular as some other holidays. 

Rosh Chodesh (varies, 1st of every Hebrew month): There are 12 Hebrew months, except for leap years which have a second Adar. The first day of each month is known as Rosh Chodesh. It is unlikely your Jewish character does anything for it, unless they’re very religious, work at a synagogue, happen to be at shul anyways for another reason, or go to a Jewish school. If any of those are true, their prayers will have extra prayers (especially on Shabbat or another holiday).  12a. Rosh Chodeshes are traditionally women’s time/a moment set aside to honor women. 

Special Shabbats (varies): There are eight special Shabbats scattered around the year right before or after a big holiday. Services are longer and special prayers are added, but unless your character goes to shul or is in another circumstance where they pray consistently, they likely won’t know/care/notice. 

Some of these topics are also totally their own posts, but this is a general overview of the most important/common holidays and already super long!

[atomicdetectivehideout]

This is for @lilliankayl​ as part of @destielsecretsanta2020​. I hope you like it!

Their wishlist: Fluffy Retired AU Domestic Fluff with their dog Miracle.

Christmas Surprises

On Ao3 

Words: 1777

Summary: Dean's going to be making Christmas dinner for the whole family this year and Cas wants to sneak a gift into the oven before Dean has it claimed for the rest of the day. Too bad Miracle has woken him up before Cas is ready.

When Dean wakes up he’s alone. He stretches his arms and legs and back, getting as many cricks and cracks out as he can before flipping to face the other side of the bed. It’s cold. He’s tempted to burrow back into his blankets but he can hear the clanging in the kitchen so he knows he’s the last one awake.

He sits up rubbing his eyes and is steeling himself to leave his cozy bed (there’s no real getting used to how cold the bunker is first thing in the morning in winter) when his door is nudged open and a cream colored blur launches itself into the bed.

(source)

“Hey, buddy! Good morning,” he said wrapping his arms around Miracle and rocking the two of them back and forth in a deep embrace while he steals her warmth.

(source)

It's only when Miracle starts licking at his ears (and he does not giggle) that he decides to get up. He flings the blankets off himself, covering Miracle in the process. She burrows her way out and gives a shake before huffing almost exasperatedly at him.

Dean pulls on his robe. "Don't give me that look," he tells her. "That's for slobbering in my ears." He turns to the door and catches a whiff of something delicious so he follows his nose to the kitchen, Miracle by his side.

***

The toast pops and Sam looks over his shoulder away from the stove for a moment and warns, “It’s hot,” before turning his attention back to scrambling the eggs.

(source)

Castiel pauses what he's doing to carefully grab the toast and butter the slices. Sam is on breakfast duty this morning since Dean decided to do a full Christmas dinner for them, Eileen, Jack, Jody and Donna, and their girls. Cas, newly human since his rescue from the Empty, still doesn't know much about cooking but he's proving to be a quick learner and he's always ready for the next lesson. This morning, in addition to helping with breakfast, he's working on his Christmas surprise for Dean.

Last week while out for their usual grocery shop, he'd brought the subject up to Sam. Always ready to help a friend, Sam agreed and immediately pulled up a few possible recipes to choose from on his phone. On their trip home, Cas insisted on holding his bag of ingredients on his lap so he could read all the labels to try to understand why each ingredient was important.

It's when Dean walks into the kitchen saying, "All that bacon better be for me!" that he realizes that his Christmas surprise might not be much of a surprise if Dean is already here. He thought for sure Dean would still be asleep after their late night together the night before.

Like Dean can hear his thoughts, his eyes snap from the stovetop searching for bacon to Castiel and the bowl he's holding.

"What's in the bowl?" Dean asks, eyebrow raised.

"It's… uhh…" Cas tries.

"It's none of your business," Sam swoops in with the save. Dean scoffs, a reminder that Dean considers the kitchen to be his territory, and Cas releases the breath he didn't realize he was holding when Sam adds absentmindedly while plating everyone's breakfast, "Besides, he needs to do this now."

"Why does he need to do this now?" Dean asks, confused.

Sam realizes what he's revealed by accident, alarm in his eyes as he looks at Castiel for his reaction. Castiel's eyes are just as wide in surprise.

And while this wasn't how he'd planned on this going, it seemed like this was how events wanted to play out and he wasn't ready to be upset on Christmas Day.

So instead, he smiles at Sam before turning to Dean and taking his hand. Miracle nudges at his ankles looking for attention and he'll be sure to give her plenty soon.

Sam sees his chance, and fills a plate with food and exits the kitchen at high speed.

"Well, you're about to be cooking all day so I wanted to get your gift in the oven before you need it," he tells Dean.

"My gift?" Dean asks, still confused. "I thought we all agreed no gifts."

"We did, but this is a bit of a gift for everyone, if you choose to share," Cas tells him with a grin. "Do you want to know what it is now?"

"Do you want to tell me now?" Dean counters instead.

Castiel frowns at him and crosses his arms. "I asked you first."

Dean just rolls his eyes. "Yes, please tell me."

Cas looks to Miracle for good luck before looking to Dean. "I'm baking you a pie. A pecan pie."

Dean's mouth immediately starts to water. Pecan might not be his first favourite flavour, but it's easily second or third (depending on how good the slice of cherry pie in front of him is) and he knows why Cas has chosen pecan: at the end of his Christmas feast are four apple pies he had finished baking the day before.

"Awesome," Dean tells him. "Pecan is a great choice and perfect for the holidays." He puts his hand on Cas's shoulder and sighs dramatically. "I can't believe you want to encroach on my dinner plans though," he teases.

Cas gasps, not picking up on the joke. He raises both hands and takes Dean's hand from his shoulder to hold it. "Dean, I would never want to infringe on that. This is merely to supplement what you have planned. If you even want to share at all," he explains in complete earnestness.

And Dean just laughs, "I know!" he reassures Cas. "I'm just kidding with you." He clasps his other hand on top of Cas's. "Do you want help?"

"No, Dean," Cas says in horror. "This is your gift. You can't help to make it," he pauses with a head tilt. "That's a rule, isn't it?"

"We make our own rules," Dean tells him with a kiss to his cheek. "And we can definitely make our own Christmas traditions too. If you want my help, I'm all in but if you don't that's okay too." He lowers their hands still holding on though and looks around the kitchen. "Now how about we eat?"

***

Dean couldn't wait a moment longer for his plate of bacon (with his spinach omelette, god, okay he'll eat it) and they're back in the kitchen right after.

Sam finished up the breakfast dishes quickly and got out of Dodge right after. He's been around enough to know that Dean treats a full meal preparation like a battle plan and it's best not to be around if you're not needed. 

Cas is nervous now that Sam is out of the room and Dean turns to him expectantly. "So what's the verdict, sweetheart? Do you want my help or should I hit the road?"

He takes a moment to consider it before answering. "Yes, please stay," he says simply. Dean's grin lights up the kitchen and Cas knows he could never send Dean away. Cas returns the wide smile and pulls on his apron. It's a white apron with pastel flowers embroidered along the bottom that Dean had bought him as a gift when his eyes lingered on the flowers. He picks up the bowl and spoon he had earlier and gets ready to start. Dean can't help himself.

"Hang on a sec," he tells Cas. He pulls his phone from his robe pocket and opens the camera. "Give me a smile." So Cas does as he's asked and Dean snaps a photo (or several). "Perfect," Dean tells Cas, showing him the photo.

Dean quickly sends the image to Claire captioned Hard at work for dinner. See u tonite. She replies moments later saying stop burning my dinner and pay attention! Dean scoffs and puts the phone down.

“Let’s see this recipe,” he says to Cas. He takes the piece of paper he is offered and reviews it. “This doesn’t look too hard. Where are you?”

Cas leans over his shoulder and points. “Number three. I performed the blind bake before you got up. I was hoping to get the pie in the oven before you woke up."

Laughing, Dean says, "You should have pulled our bedroom door shut. Miracle nosed her way in." Miracle had settled beside the table to be near to her humans while they were busy and perked up at her name. She huffs in disappointment when she realizes they have nothing for her and flops back to the floor with a thump.

"I will do that the next time I intend to bake you a surprise," Cas deadpans. 

"You know I'll never say no to something baked,” Dean tells him matter of factly. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

They get to work pulling out all the ingredients for the filling. Castiel carefully fills the measuring cups and spoons with precision and Dean supervises, answering any questions Cas has. When Cas is done whisking the mixture, he removes his apron revealing his current favourite sweater with a majestic grey wolf on the front and hangs it up. He reaches for the cellophane package of pecan pieces and returns to the counter. Resting his foot on the stool in front of him, his pants pulling tightly against his thigh and he lifts the bag to his mouth and opens the package with his teeth. 

Dean swallows, eyes drawn to Cas’s thick thighs automatically. Cas might hear him because he makes eye contact with Dean, pecans still at his mouth and he raises an eyebrow in question. Dean shakes himself back to attention. “Don’t forget you’re human now,” he pulls open a drawer of utensils, “and the dentist is expensive. Use scissors instead of your teeth.” He’s gruff, but not unkind and Castiel gives him an affectionate smile before pouring the pecans into the pie shell. They get the pie in the oven and set a timer and Dean turns to the recipes he’d printed out for today. He’s got a lot planned and that means a lot to do, but he’s wanted to do this for a long time now and this seemed like the perfect time. 

The holidays are the time for family, good food, sweets, and surprises after all. And tonight Dean and Cas have a surprise for all their friends and family: they’re officially retiring from hunting. 

***

As the smell of the baking pecan pie fill the kitchen, it is no surprise to anyone that Dean decides that he will not be sharing his gift from Cas with anyone else. 

***

Merry Christmas to those of you that celebrate and Happy Holidays! 

Love, Atomicdetectivehideout

[secretobsessionstuff]

Hey Max, can I request a group party (christmas or Thanksgiving or similar) and they're all having fun, except they all get food poisoning from the pie? You can pick whoever you want there, I just want the group! (And maybe some Kota/bee...) 😏 Please?

This was a fun challenge to write! I hope it’s good :) 

----------------------

It was a miracle that everyone was home for the holidays. Normally Madix brought Riley to his family’s house for thanksgiving, but those plans changed when Dakota and Blair were actually staying in the city instead of going to see Blair’s family. As you can imagine, the four of them took advantage of the opportunity.

Since Riley was doing most of the cooking, they planned to have dinner at his and Madix’s place. Like most thanksgiving, everyone was eager to start eating, so by around 4 o’clock they had already begun digging into the classic thanksgiving dishes. There was turkey, mashes potatoes, stuffing, and a creamy peach pie. Riley was most proud of the pie because it was a super simple recipe that required no baking, and it was topped with freshly cut peaches.

Making the entire meal was a challenge even with Madix helping him because the kitchen was so tiny. The space got squishy and dirty fast. The counters were piled high with dirty cutting boards and utensils. The mess was thankfully worth it when everybody said that the meal was delicious. Riley didn’t say this out loud, but he felt like a proper adult for cooking his own thanksgiving dinner. As for the experimental pie, he was definitely going to save the recipe because everybody loved it – well everybody but Dakota who didn’t like peaches. That was fine; more for the rest of them.

When the meal was finished and everybody’s stomachs were stuffed like a turkey, Madix collected all the dishes and piled them in the kitchen. He sighed, seeing that once again the kitchen was a disaster. He started to put all the leftovers in containers before anything would go bad when Riley came up behind him and gave him a hug.

“I’m so glad we got to do this,” he mumbled into Madix’s back. “I hope I did the meal justice.”  

Madix turned around and wrapped his arms around Riley. “Are you kidding? I think I prefer this to my family’s thanksgivings.”

“Really?”

“Definitely,” Madix said as he continued to clean up the kitchen. “Plus, there’s less drama.” He smiled while throwing away all the scraps of food.

Riley beamed and practically skipped away. Before he went to rejoin Dakota and Blair, he turned back to Madix and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “This is your family’s thanksgiving.”

For the rest of the afternoon and evening, the four of them spent the time sitting outside in the brisk fall air. Blair sat in Dakota’s lap, saying it was to keep warm, but Madix guessed they just wanted to be touching. He couldn’t blame them, having scooted his own chair closer to Riley so they could hold hands under the table. It was thanksgiving after all and what better way to remind yourself of your blessings than to held them in your arms. Dakota was doing literally just that.

“It’s too bad Alexi and Micah couldn’t make it,” Dakota said while he leaned back and sniffed the smoke-filled air. Someone was having a campfire and it made him want to have smores.

Riley nodded, “Micah said they had this trip planned for ages.”

“We should do that sometime,” Dakota said as Blair fidgeted on top of him. He winced when her elbows dug into his chest. She really couldn’t sit still. “Go on a trip, I mean. The four of us.”

“Where?” Madix asked but immediately started to zone out again.

“Blair’s always wanted to go to Australia.” Dakota said, hopping to get his girlfriend more involved in the conversation, but she just sat there silently.

Her head was curled up by his neck with her eyes occasionally closed. He kept watching her while he spoke, but she never pipped up. In fact, Dakota felt like he was carrying the whole conversation by himself. Madix and Riley also looked sleepy and distracted. Eventually, he stopped talking and they sat in peaceful silence. Dakota thought it was peaceful anyway.

Blair started to shift around uncomfortably again. She moaned and buried her face in Dakota’s sweater. Dakota was going to ask her to get off because his legs were falling asleep and his body couldn’t take another attack, but then he heard her belly gurgle. It didn’t sound very pleasant to Dakota, not like hunger. Besides, Blair was tiny. There was no way she was hungry again.

He bounced his knee once, just to get her attention, but that made her moan again and warp her arms around her body as if she were cold. “You feeling okay, bee?” he whispered.

Blair shook her head. “…my stomach’s upset,” she mumbled back.

Madix looked to his friend, seeing that they were talking quietly to each other. “You guys okay over there?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dakota stammered while helping Blair off his lap. They both stood up, Dakota grabbing her waist as they walked away from the table. “We’ll just be a minute.”

“Everything alright?” Riley asked weakly.

“Yes,” Dakota lied. He knew Riley didn’t like when people were sick, so he decided to keep this to himself. Judging by the greyish tint to Blair’s face, she looked exactly like someone Riley would want to stay away from. Obviously, Dakota didn’t notice the greyish tint to all their faces.

As soon as Dakota and Blair went inside the house, Madix stood up from his chair. He exhaled heavily while rubbing his stomach. Being upright had the immediate effect of causing a burp to rumble up from his chest. A long sigh came next, unfortunately the relief he felt was short-lived.

Madix paced around the patio furniture, hoping that movement would help with the nausea. He hadn’t wanted to say anything with everyone there, but his stomach was roiling. When he looked own, his hands were shaking from the intense queasiness. For some reason, dinner was just not sitting well, and he realized that vomiting was a very real possibility at this point. Maybe he had eaten too much or perhaps he was just sick. Either way he had to tell Riley.

He stopped pacing because that wasn’t helping, and leaned against the back of a chair. He breathed out slowly, trying to get his nausea under control. “Ry…” His voice was shaky. “I have to tell you something.”

To Madix’s surprise, Riley answered by spreading apart his legs and vomiting on the spot. A huge gush of brownish sick splattered between his feet just as another retch tore up his throat.

Madix held back a gag and somehow swallowed his nausea enough to go to Riley. While breathing through his nose, he rubbed his boyfriend’s back through another round of heaving. “Oh love, I know, I know.”

“Ugh,” Riley groaned with his head between his knees. “I don’t –” He tired to speak but he kept gagging.

“Don’t speak yet. Just get it all up first,” Madix said while tracing circles onto his back. He couldn’t watch though. He had to look away as torrents of barely digested food fell out of Riley’s mouth. But averting his gaze wasn’t enough. He could still feel the muscles in Riley’s back spasm whenever his shoulders rolled forward. And the smell was too much to handle for his own sour stomach. Madix leaned away and gagged into his elbow.

When Riley came up for air, he heard Madix gagging behind him and felt awful. Madix wasn’t usually a sympathetic puker, so this made him feel like crap. “I’m sorry. I’m being so gross.”

“It’s okay. It’s – hic – not our fault,” Madix said in between retches. He had neither the energy nor the desire to reconsider that sentence. He didn’t have the will power to keep comforting Riley anymore either because his stomach decided time was up. He walked away from his boyfriend as his own belly sent up his dinner. He pitched forward and covered the grass with a thick brown gush.

“Madix!” Riley called out. He somehow found the motivation to stand up, and step around the puddle of sick at his feet. It was always easier for him to deal with people throwing up if he was also sick. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but at least it allowed him to go to Madix. “Oh gosh, okay.”

Madix seemed like a running faucet that simply never found peace. He could hardly catch his breath in between waves and each heave sounded like it was destroying his throat. Riley patted his back, growing increasingly worse about the whole situation. This was bad. Madix was really sick. This wasn’t just from sympathy.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry,” Riley said once Madix stopped actively being sick. There were two puddles of vomit, two very nauseous people, and only one logical explanation. “It’s the food, it has to be.”

“Most likely,” Madix agreed while spitting on the grass. “Please don’t blame yourself though.”

“How can I not? I poisoned us all!”

“You don’t know that. It could have been handled wrong.”  

“I guess,” Riley admitted while rubbing the back of his neck.

“Dammit,” Madix mumbled as he walked back into the house, “I’m going to go check on Dakota and Blair.” As he left, Madix heard Riley curse under his breath.

It was fairly obvious what Madix was going to find in the house. He didn’t even waste time and went straight to the bathroom. As he expected, the door was closed and the light was on. He knocked lightly.

Dakota and Blair’s night had gone quite similarly, with one major difference.

Blair was curled up around the toilet, puking her guts up while Dakota held her hair back. It wasn’t long after sneaking away from Madix and Riley, that Blair found herself on the bathroom floor. She had told Dakota that she felt like she was going to be sick, and they were locked in the bathroom ever since.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Dakota cooed while kissing her shoulder.

Blair wiped her mouth and leaned back against the bathtub. “I don’t know what happened.”

Dakota touch the back of his hand to her forehead and frowned. “You don’t feel warm.”

Later, a light knock came at the door once Blair was done being sick for the fourth time in a row. They both looked at each other, knowing that they’d been gone far too long.

Blair sighed. “I ruined the night.”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Dakota assured her as he stood up from the floor to open the door. “They’ll understand.”

Dakota opened the door just enough to let himself out, and he shut it again to give Blair privacy. He joined Madix in the hallway and leaned against the wall. Madix looked concerned, and kinda awful, Dakota thought.

Madix’s expression twisted to confusion when Dakota came out looking pretty normal actually. “Are you guys okay?”

“Not really,” Dakota admitted. “Blair must have caught something because she’s throwing up.”

Dakota didn’t understand his friend’s reaction. Madix nodded like he was expecting that answer.

“And how about you? Are you feeling okay?” Madix asked.

“Yes?” Dakota answered hesitantly. He wasn’t sure what Madix was getting at, but then he noticed the way he was hugging his stomach. “Are you?”  

“No.” He shook his head. “Riley and I also threw up. I’m surprised you’re not sick.”

Everything made a lot more sense to Dakota now. And then it immediately didn’t. Madix was right. Why wasn’t he sick? They all ate the same dinner. He should be just as miserable as Blair right now, but he wasn’t for some reason.

As both boys wandered into the kitchen that reason became apparent. They all ate the same dinner, but not the same dessert. The half-eaten pie was still on the counter, with its freshly cut peaches adorning the top. “Did Riley make this today?” Dakota asked, gesturing to the dessert.

Understanding was already beginning to show in Madix’s bloodshot eyes. “Yes.”

“At the same time that he prepared the frozen turkey?”

“Yes.”

“Did he use the same cutting board?”

Madix hesitated before answering…probably for dramatic effect… “Yes.”

Dakota felt like a detective, then he very quickly felt like a nurse. Madix’s face was growing pale again. “How many bathrooms are in this house again?”

Madix looked sicker just thinking about it. “Two.”

Impending sarcasm tainted Dakota’s smile. “Well, this is going to be a fun night.”

[kpopchangedme]

All I Want For Christmas is: The Maple Goddess [Youngjae]

Love is in the air at the Christmas Market when you finally get to spend some quality time with the cute guy from the ice skating rink.

Protagonists: Choi Youngjae & You

Word Count: 4.7k

Genre: SFW - Holiday Season - Romance - First Date - shy!jae || [One Shot]

[All I Want For Christmas: is a GOT7 collab]

GOT7 | M.list

You’re glorious today, as usual. Your red winter coat brings out the colours of your cheeks, even from the other side of the alley, you're glowing. Youngjae rolls his thick sleeve to peek at his watch, almost an hour to go before his first break… Sniffing, he observes from his fortune hideout as you explain something to rare morning onlookers, waving your hands around energetically. When he's sitting down behind his booth, he's mostly concealed by the counter, hardly able to see you. In the end, they buy something from the stand, how could they not? No one can resist a smile like yours, and you grin every time you make a sale. A series of aggressive knocks on his wooden counter forces him out of his daydream. He stands up from his chair in a hurry, taken by surprise. 

“Size twelve.” A boy narrows his eyes haughtily and his four friends snicker behind him. He's a teenager – he was probably in diapers when Youngjae finished high school – but still, he has nothing but contempt for the older guy. The Ice Skating Rink promised to be a romantic mystical workplace with its Christmas lights and view on the giant decorated tree, but it turned out to be a damn babysitting job.

Don't push your friends... No headsets! I told you, this is your last warning...

“Then it's size eleven,” Youngjae blinks, quickly catching on, “and 10 bucks.”

“The raffle guy said you'd make us a discount!” They immediately start to whine in protest, and Youngjae bites the interior of his cheek to remain polite. Grabbing the frame of his booth, he bends through the opening to glare at his ‘friend’. Bambam shrugs unapologetically, not looking exactly contrite enough to his liking. He's been sending his victims to the rink for discounts far too often this past month.

“How much do you have left?”

Sighing, Youngjae bargains with the group, ending up renting all of them skates at half the value. How are other businesses supposed to make a living if Bambam keeps scamming kids out of their allowance? He cusses lowly, picking up 5 pairs of ice skates from the tablets behind him and handing them. It's his first year working at The White Miracle Market and definitely his last. He thought it would be a great opportunity to earn some extra cash for his Christmas gifts, but that's not how it went. Instead, he ended up spending his days freezing to death, quarrelling with kids, and spending all of his money on the job.

Work with us, they said…

Youngjae shouldn't have let himself get convinced by the guys. He's the only one that ended up in a stall with a defective heater and… Ok, fine, admittedly he has the greatest view of all time… Raising his head to your booth facing his, he forgets for a brief second he's still standing up and hits the large metal radiator hanging above. Yelping, he reaches for his head with both gloves, for once thankful the thing isn't working at full capacity. Through his tears, he glares at the heater with rancour. 

It will be fun, they said…

Carefully sitting back, Youngjae loses the next half-hour reluctantly monitoring the skating little monsters through his left side window. He doesn't even find it in himself to scold them when they start throwing ice at each other. One could lose an eye or two for all he cares.

___

Today is a bit of a slow start. It could come as a surprise considering there are only a few days left before Christmas, but it's often like that during the day. People come to the Market for enchantment and a chaotic array of wooden stalls doesn't quite reach its full magical effect before sunset. Even with the current beautiful snow falling in slow motion from the gray sky. Of course, your booth isn't like the other boring ones, you don't rely on fir ornaments, red velvet bows or fairy lights to sell. Undeniably, the Maplesque!’ strongest asset is the alluring smell of maple syrup always cooking in the large pan.

“Ouch,” Emma giggles, making you raise your head from the wood bucket of clean snow you're preparing, “that outta hurt!”

“What?” Whipping around to see what she means, you wince. Cute guy from the ice skating booth is holding the top of his head with both hands. Above him, his stall's radiator is wobbling. You hope he didn't burn himself. “Don't stare,” mortified by the secondhand embarrassment, you click your tongue, forcing your sister's eyes down.

“Why not?” She smirks, leaning above the counter and making the display of leaf-shaped lollipops tilt dangerously. “He stares at us all day.”

“Does. Not.” You lie, pushing the rack back to safety and Emma rolls her eyes. “Stop being delusional and go check the pan's temperature.”

“In case you didn't notice…” She stretches both arms open towards the empty snowy alley like she's the messiah. “No one buys your taffy before supper, Ô dear Maple Goddess.”

“If you're unhappy, you can go home.” Grumbling, you round the booth, done with your taffy-on-ice tempting display. Walking by the pan, you check it yourself, pleased to find the temperature of the syrup is climbing slowly.

“There's no ridiculously hot guys at home.” Emma sing-songs and you look at her, dumbfounded. “The White Miracle might be cold but I swear, there's no better place to be in town…”

“What?” Crouching, you plug the hot chocolate machine. Is this why she comes to the Market even though she never lends a hand?

Your little sister has been obsessing a lot about boys lately, maybe she's at that age. In previous years, she never cared to visit. Your parents were the ones running this booth while you helped out as much as you could. It's the first year you fully took over so they could stay on the farm, handling most of the crafting and shipping. This Christmas Market is a tradition, sort of a mandatory one when it’s the whole family business. Holidays are always very busy, right before the maple season starts.

“Are you dumb?” Emma snorts in disbelief, “Blind? Every guy here is sexier than the other. It's like they are fighting every day to win me over. There's the toymakers pair, very kissable under potential mistletoe; the steamy ticket seller, I personally find his constant frowning highly attractive; there's Santa, help me Lord-”

“I guess I’m too busy to notice,” you interrupt unimpressed and check the display one last time to see if everything is in order, “someone has to work our booth.”

“Well, hot rental-guy notices, rental-guy isn't blind. Everyone at TWM knows he's desperately pining over you!” You turn to her – acting lost – and she rolls her eyes once more in desperation. Without another word, Emma raises her glove the rink’s way, unsubtly pointing to the man in his ice skating booth. Gasping, you jump forward to pull down her arm, feeling your whole face flush in shame. You're acutely aware of how much he looks your way, there's no need to make it more obvious. Really, how bold can a fifteen years old get? 

“Jesus, Emma,” heaving you hold her arm down tightly, “we don't point at people!”

She tugs at it, but you don't let go. “Oh look, he's staring again!” She waves hello his way and you let her go in horror. Urgently spinning around only to discover that rental-guy isn't looking your way. Not at all, in fact, he seems rather absorbed by the contemplation of the kids skating on the rink. “You should see your face right now!” Emma cracks up, sinking back into her chair with a book and you kick her leg, fuming. You swear sometimes she still acts like a 10 years old. "Admit it, you like him back, he's cute...”

You don't dignify this with an answer, dropping your chin into your open palms, bent in two, elbows resting on the counter. Cute? Ice skating guy is cute alright. You aren't as blind as you'd want her to believe. You've been looking forward to his breaks for an entire month.

You asked you noted; Choi Youngjae, your age, first year working at the White Miracle, single… Very unsubtly crushing on you and talking about it to a lot of people.

He's off in around 50 minutes; which means he’ll come by to pick two maple hot chocolates just to see you. You hate to admit, but he is at his cutest when he's a blushing mess for you. 

In a parallel universe, one where the Holiday season truly is magical… You'd both do a lot more than stare. 

He'd actually ask you out, maybe he'd spill his drink on his coat while doing so, but you wouldn't mind. You wouldn't mind because you'd be busy being nervous yourself, smoothly agreeing to anything. You like him too, a lot. How could you not fall for the guy who gave you the most flattering nickname to ever be? 

Not Farm-Girl like back when you were in high school. 

Maple. Goddess.

You're an OG of this Christmas Market, so of course, everyone told you about him. The White Miracle’ staff is like a second family, you were made aware of his infatuation within a week of him starting here. Even the guy at the Mulled Wine stall knew about Youngjae and you and he's a loner that keeps to himself.

You bite the interior of your cheek, sneaking another glance at the rental booth.

Maybe you should just ask him out yourself. It's not like waiting on him is doing any good and Holiday season is almost over...

___

To be honest, Youngjae doesn't feel particularly excited at Jackson showing up for his break. It's suspiciously that he considers his friend when his face pops over the counter to gaze down at him. By this point, Youngjae was dozing off, ice rink empty and his will to live in the negative – matching the mercury-in-glass quite nicely. 

“OY!” The exuberant chocolate-lover greets, face sliced in two by his largest grin. The last time they spoke was two days prior, Jackson was so taken by some dumb competition with another booth that he snapped and told Youngjae off. He got mad and claimed he was done, that he couldn't stand hearing about y/n again.

“Hi,” wary, Youngjae sits straight, “I thought you didn't want to be around me anymore.”

Jackson's face twists, “What? I never said that. I’m pretty sure my exact words were ‘man-up and ask her out for baby-Jesus’s sake!’... But I’m here to apologize, I'm sorry I yelled, Jinyoung says I need to make amends…” Picture of innocence, the childish man smiles and tilts his head. This look on him is never a good omen. Whenever Jackson wiggles his brows like that, he's always about to cause a holy mess. “Sooooooooo,” he goes on mischievously, “I thought about it and decided I should be the one that buys you hot chocolate today.” The last words are utter so theatrically they’re barely words at all: “At last, I shall meet your maple dame!”

Sheer panic courses through Youngjae's body when he understands. He knew he had reasons to be apprehensive. Of course Jackson is gonna get involved with his crush! The man can't ever stay out of anyone's business! Your formal rejection is the last thing he needs before Christmas. He'd much prefer remaining anonymous.

Unfortunately, Jackson has already crossed the snowy alley in your direction before he is even out, running after him. Mid-way there, Youngjae stops altogether hesitating; he could face this like a man and apologize, or run away and never come back to this cursed Market…  Sadly, then he'd never see you again.

There's no doubt he's tomato red when he finally joins his former friend in front of the Maplesque! stall. You're already smiling, greeting them, as kind and breathtaking as ever.

“HI, HELLO!” Jackson blurts out too loudly, making you twitch back in surprise. “You're the Maple Goddess!” Dumbfounded, your eyes fall on Youngjae, standing a step back and wincing nervously.

“It's just Y-Y/n,” you stutter cutely on your own name, making his knees weak, “you're the chocol-”

“Jackson Wang!” Your little sister seemingly jumps from under the counter, eyes glimmering in awe. She's there every day with you, always on her phone or reading a book. “Excuse my sis, she's no good around hot guys!” Bending in two through the stall opening, the younger girl reaches to offer her hand in a hurry. To Youngjae's despair, she's obviously very taken by Jackson.

Getting rejected might not be the worst possible outcome to this encounter after all, you could fall for the chocolatier's charm. Like everyone else always does...

"Well, aren't you a treat!” Instead of shaking her hand – like a normal human being – the bold man straight up kisses her glove. Youngjae cringes so hard, he wishes the ground would swallow him whole. “And you are...”

“Emma!” She blurts out in pure glee:

“Please Y/n, don't mind Jackson!” Finally stepping up, Youngjae slaps a 10$ bill on the counter, startling you. Gulping, he falters under your wide gaze, “He's always been odd.”

“I’m afraid his reputation precedes him.” You divert your eyes to the bill, biting your lower lip. “Two maple hot chocos coming.” Turning around in haste, you elbow the lollipop display and your sister catches it with a dramatic eye roll before it crashes. Youngjae can only smile like a fool, observing as you work. You're irresistible.

"So – Maple Goddess – are you free?” You're pouring the beverages when Jackson asks the question and you visibly spasm, nearly scalding yourself. Youngjae turns to his friend in horror. He might want to help, but he's as subtle as a bull in a China shop.

Emma snorts; “Yes, but Y/n's all work and no fun.” The young girl plops herself down on the counter, dropping her chin in her palm to gaze at the older men. “I'm all fun.”

"You’re jailbait.” You deadpan ruthlessly, bringing the men's attention back on you and making your sister whine. Still, you frown in concentration, pouring syrup in the two hot chocolates. “I’m just busy building a maple empire, Jackson, I’m sure you can relate.”

The chocolatier seems severely undermined and he grimaces; “That's unfortunate, Youngjae was hoping you'd join us for a break at the rink.” Wait, what!? Jackson just said what?

“Me, skate? On ice.” You seem confused, as though that's the strangest idea ever. Oh God, you hate them both already. You're gonna reject him.

“Yes…” Narrowing his eyes at his friend meanly, Youngjae clenches his fists, mustering his courage. For weeks, he had been considering the best way to asking you out and that wasn't it at all. “I was wondering if you would like to take a break from the stall and skate with me… and Jackson.” He's completely winded at the prospect but his friend smiles brightly, offering two thumbs up, very proud of himself. What is the point of this? With Jackson there, that's not even a date. It doesn't help him at all, it's a shitty plan.

“Oh, the thing is–” You start to protest but get interrupted.

“I’ll keep the booth!” Emma blurts out, beaming and you turn to her with a scowl. “I can manage here for a while, you go… Have fun… With guys...”

“You don't have to!” Youngjae eagerly offers an out, earning himself an elbow to the ribs. Still, his heart is pounding in expectation, waiting for your answer. Part of him wants to murder Jackson for forcing him out of his comfort zone, but what's done is done. The two maple hot mugs are now abandoned on the counter, steaming. 

“I...” You seem to be unsure what to say, put on the spot. It takes a moment for you to finally make a choice. “Y-Yes, I would like that a lot.”

___

You're buzzing in a mix of excitement and dread stepping out of the booth. Even after agreeing, you aren't sure how it happened, don't know how you even let yourself get convinced. Sure, you've been daydreaming about spending time with rental-guy for a month – Youngjae – but still… like that? You must have momentarily lost your mind. And it's not like he invited you to join them on his own, his friend did. You follow awkwardly when both men walk back to the rental booth, Emma delighted coos echoing from the Maplesque!. Really, you're gonna have to kick her ass when you get back home tonight.

You should say something – call this whole ice skating thing off – but instead, you give Youngjae your shoe size, waiting as the guys silently bicker with one another. Clearly, you aren't the only one that hasn't thought stuff through.

You're still trying to find a way to get out of this without hurting anyone's feeling when Jackson suddenly slaps his forehead. It's like he just remembered he forgot to close the tap back home. "Oh SHOO!” The man pouts dramatically and his friend turns to him, oblong eyes round of evident apprehension. Jackson is already stepping backwards in a hurry, fleeing away from you both. He fakes looking down at his phone. “I forgot Mark had something to tell me! I need to go right now!” He's almost running up the alley now. “May your date be maple and bright!” 

Wait.

What.

Date?

Did the chocolatier just set you up with his friend? 

You knew you intimidated rental-guy – so did the whole world – but you didn't think it would come to this. When you face Youngjae however, you realize this wasn't his plan either. He's staring blankly at the pair of skates he picked up for you on the counter, cheekbones afire. Clearly, he's in shock. His friend just forced this unto him and he doesn't know what to do.

Wow. Can it be considered a real date if you're coerced into it? Even if you both want to meet, dates are supposed to be planned, actual outings, not just random breaks taken from work.

Besides, you don't know how to ice skate.

Well, it's not like you can get out of it now. If you try to stop this from happening it will be worse. Youngjae is so adorable, you don't want him to think you aren't interested. 

Surely, ice skating can't be that complicated. You see kids on that rink every day... 

“I knew about it,” you hush, trying to find something to initiate conversation.

Startled, he looks up. “Uh?”

“The whole Maple Goddess thing.”

“Oh,” Youngjae forces a chuckle, clenching his teeth, “Jackson comes up with weird stuff all the time… Sorry...” Never has a lie been more obvious. You meant his crush too, but he doesn't seem to want to hear that. To hide your growing smile, you bring your hands to your mouth, blowing air to warm them up. Unfortunately, you let your gloves at the booth.

“You don't have to do this, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to trick you into hanging out with me. I didn't even know what Jac–”

“It's fine,” you interrupt, “I was actually about to give up and ask you out myself.”

“You... What?” His mouth is open in astonishment. 

Ok. This is the perfect set up for a confession. There's snow falling, you're all alone… You should probably just get it out in the open.

“I hear about you and… I like you too.”

“You like me,” Youngjae repeats doubtfully. 

“Yes.” Butterflies. Butterflies everywhere. Grabbing the dreaded skates, you turn to face the rink, grinning. “So, are we gonna do this or what?" 

Amused beyond logic, you laugh, leaving him hanging to go sit on a nearby bench. You try to control your nerves, slipping out of your Uggs to tightly lace the rental skates. Ice can't be much different from concrete, you've rollerbladed before. Dead silent, Youngjae comes to sit next to you, putting on ice skates himself. His are black and red, evidently personal ones, way fancier. You've never seen him on the rink before, but one probably needs to know how to ice skate to be hired at that booth. It makes sense. Done, you wait for him to finish. 

Well, that's painfully awkward. You should be talking. People talk on dates. Is this a date?

Suddenly, Youngjae stands up, sliding on the ice with no effort whatsoever. He's gracious, grinning at you from ear to ear. He seemed to have processed your little confession now, at least. His feet form a V shape, making him swirl in a large circle before he stops back in front of the bench. In a messed up way, you kind of wished him to be as clumsy at this as everything else. 

Evidently, he's waiting for you to get up and do some twirls of your own, a grandiose arabesque perhaps, impressive, breathtaking. Oh God, the longer he's anticipating this the worse is. Come on, here goes nothing. You can do this. Ice skating can't be that complicated. Finally standing up, you pray for some sort of miracle. You take a weird step forward on the ice. Unfortunately, your stance is so wobbly you very nearly fall on your ass, arms flying in rotation to regain balance. At the last second, Youngjae catches your forearms, saving your ass (literally). His hands wrap around your elbow holding you up steady on the slippery ice. It's the first time he has touched you and even though it's through layers of clothing, butterflies soar once more.

You look so stupid. Breaking your neck won't charm cute rental-guy. You’ll just humiliate yourself. 

“You can't skate.” Youngjae states this simple fact and your entire face burns of shame. You try to pull away, to step back on the much safer and stable snow, but he holds on. Probably because he fears you're falling again. 

“I can skate,” you lie, vexed, “I just haven't done this… In a while.” More like ever.

“Have fun?” Youngjae's smile widens inhumanly at his joke, lips curling upwards to expose the entirety of his dentition.  

"If you call breaking a leg fun, you're a weird guy.”

You don't even notice when you start to glide, too busy smiling back. "That's okay, I got you.” Youngjae is easily skating backwards pulling you with him. “But just to be clear… You agreed to this even though you couldn't skate?”

“I couldn't refuse, you never invited me to do anything before… And I can skate,” you repeat. Just not on ice.

“So you accepted Jackson's invitation… To be with me?”

You aren't sure what he finds so hard to grasp. “Yes,” you breathe out, embarrassed, “but now I might die for it.” Your eyes dart down when Youngjae expertly crosses his blades, he's got some very impressive moves. “Showoff.”

He laughs and instantly you feel a whole lot better. “I won't let you die on my watch!” Well, the relief was short. You yelp when he releases your arms, disappearing in your back. 

“H-Hey!” Precarious, you straighten and lose your balance but this time Youngjae grabs your waist, holding you up.

Wow. If you didn't risk severe head injury otherwise, you might believe he has game. But that's impossible, rental-guy spent a whole month openly pinning over you without even making a move. Plus the only reason you're in this mess is because Jackson and Emma ganged-up on you.

“I got you now, I won't let you fall. I'll teach you.” Youngjae's voice rings above your shoulder.

Though he sounds serious about the task ahead, you can't help your chills at his breath on your ear. Unfortunately for him, his close proximity is highly distracting. He's pressed against your back and you mentally curse the thickness your damn winter coat. You wish you could actually feel him, but that may be too much for a first non-date.

“Bend your knees,” he whispers in concentration, “more, more, there. Lean forward.” Biting your lower lip, you try to push aside the other images his commands summon. What is wrong with you? The man seems oblivious to his effect, intended on helping you learn. When Youngjae is fully satisfied, you're in a weird semi-sitting position. “There, you need to keep your center of gravity low to avoid falling.”

You must look absolutely ridiculous but this is strangely romantic. Something tells you Emma is filming the whole scene from the stall, although you forget everything about that when he presses closer.

“Now you just… Glide...” As you obey once more, Youngjae's hands slide down on your hips. “Again, push to the side, like me. You want the blade to bite the ice...”

Screw that. It may come as a total surprise, but the man has game. Enjoying every second of this – probably a bit too much – you begin to gain momentum with his help. He's still holding you tightly when you complete your second full circle around the rink. Even though you're vacillating and your steps lack finesse, you'd say you are doing a pretty good job. You're skating, on ice, alone with cute rental-guy.  Smiling in joy, you bend a bit lower to accelerate. After a while, Youngjae's hands desert you altogether, and you would protest but he quickly reappears in front of you. Skating backwards, he barely needs to look over his shoulder to know where he is going. It's like its a second nature to him, something you find strangely attractive. As if aware of this, he maintains eye contact for far too long, you feel the tip of your ears burn and not from the cold. His brown hair is flying around his face, strands whipping the wind. For some reason the sight makes you light, you're flying around above the Christmas Market with the cotton-like snow.

Fine, maybe not all dates need to be official to be meaningful.

“I told you I could skate,” your bold claim makes him snort in disbelief. 

“You might need to practice more often.”

“How about…” You pause, holding a breath, “We make this a daily thing?”

“Sure,” Youngjae offers a hand and you take it, electrified by the touch, “I’ll trade you lessons for free maple choco.”

Your heart race at the thought of doing something like this with him every day. Humming, you fake to consider his offer for a second; “Deal!”

“It's a date then!” Laughing, you keep skating, staring at each other like you're alone in the world.

Unfortunately, you forget you truly aren't and he does too. Youngjae is totally spooked when someone hollers at him aggressively, a young teen is standing in front of the rental booth for service waving both arms. Apparently, break is over.

Twisting his skates without warning, Youngjae comes to an abrupt stop in front of you, forgetting one major detail.

You hit him at full speed, albeit not very fast, but it still manages to sweep him off his feet. With a loud huff, air exhales his lungs when he hits the ice and you land on top of him. Mouth ajar, you gape, meeting his soft chestnut irides. You're too flustered to say anything and he's not doing much better than you. That's not exactly how you envisioned ever climbing him up.

Your faces are so close you can see every single one of his eyelashes, his cute pinkened nose, his beauty mark. Your eyes keep exploring his features, dipping low to his dark pout, full and inviting. You want to kiss him. Snow keeps falling, swirling in the chilly air around. You haven't chosen between pulling away or going for it when Youngjae's hand finds your nape. Slowly, he closes the gap between you, lips brushing yours delicately. Adding pressure, you kiss him back.

You knew it. The man has game. 

There's no mistletoe, no fairy lights flickering, but your first kiss is fireworks. The moment is enchanting, infinite, as you both lay on the ice like one. Maybe that's the famous magic of The White Miracle Market you've heard so much about. You forget about the outside world, space, time. There's nothing but you two and the snow.

When you pull back to breathe, Youngjae is smiling softly. “Tomorrow,��� he whispers, so low you can barely hear, “I'm teaching you the snowplow stop.”

“Yes,” you breathe out, winded, “that might be useful.”

GOT7 | M.list

[All I Want For Christmas: is a GOT7 collab]

[shireness-says]

and he called her love amongst the snowflakes

Summary: Being a princess is no guarantee of a perfect Christmas. Spending the next two days snowed in with her brother's hot bodyguard just might be, though. Rated T for language. ~6.8K. Also on AO3.

A/N: Merry Christmas, @owlways-and-forever! It was an absolute delight to be your @cssecretsanta2k19. I hope you’re having a wonderful time with your family - in the meantime, here’s a little bit of a modern royalty AU for you!

Super thanks to @snidgetsafan for her last-minute beta skills, and @let-it-raines for her help with a title.

Tagging the usual suspects: @kmomof4, @thisonesatellite, @profdanglaisstuff, @ohmightydevviepuu, @scientificapricot, @optomisticgirl, @spartanguard, @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer, @searchingwardrobes, @snowbellewells, @stahlop, @teamhook

Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

~~~~~

“What do you mean, you and Dad won’t be home for Christmas?”

“Now Emma,” her mother sighs. “I never said that. I just said we won’t be home on Christmas Eve.”

“Oh, like that’s better,” she grumbles under her breath in a manner very much unfitting of the Crown Princess of Misthaven.

“Emma.”

“Ok, fine,” she concedes with as much attitude as she thinks she can get away with. “What do you mean, you and Dad won’t be home for Christmas Eve, a totally separate thing that’s not at all like Christmas?”

Her mother - Queen Mary II of Misthaven, if you want to get official, though Emma doesn’t quite want to when she’d rather act childish about Christmas - doesn’t even bother to respond to that particular bit of sarcasm. “I know you’re upset, sweetheart, but there’s nothing to be done about it. The snow’s just coming down too hard, and it’s supposed to keep up tomorrow too. As much as we both want to be home with you and your brother, neither of us can control the weather.”

What’s the damn point of being Queen, then, Emma thinks, mostly jokingly. Mostly. She still has a small self-preservational instinct, however, so she does not voice this out loud.

“We knew this was a possibility when we went,” her mother continues. “We knew the weather might turn. We hoped it wouldn’t, but we had to go anyways. We couldn’t miss this hospital opening, Emma, not when they named it after your grandmother. At the end of the day, we are here to serve our citizens.”

Emma mouths the last words along with her mom, having heard them many times. It’s not quite a catchphrase in their family - that distinction goes to her father’s very sappy “I will always find you”, the one thing that can reliably make both his children gag - but it does get repeated an awful lot. Call it their motto, or something. The lines just get more blurred when your family life and your professional life is so entwined.

“I’ll miss you,” Emma finally says after letting the line sit silent for a moment. That’s what this all comes down to, after all - as much as Emma understands why her parents had to fly across the country, and as much as she knows that they can’t control the weather, it’s Christmas time, and she wants to spend it with her parents.

“We’ll miss you too, sweetheart, and your brother too. Dad and I will be home as soon as we can, okay?” 

“Okay, Mom.” What else is there to say?

“They’re waiting for us, but I’ll talk to you later. Give Leo a kiss for me. I love you, Emma.”

“Love you too. Say hi to Dad for me.”

As comparatively well as Emma holds it together on the phone, that evaporates as soon as the call disconnects and she lets out a screech of frustration. It’s immature. She doesn’t care. She’s allowed to want her family on Christmas… Eve. Eve. 

(It’s technically still the night of the 23rd, but it’s the principle of the thing.)

Barely seconds later, a dark head pops into the room. Killian Jones - her brother’s security officer. Emma wouldn’t say she has a crush on him, but… she kind of has a crush on him. He’s just so goddamn handsome and charming, and she’s only human, even if she is the princess. They don’t cross paths very often - just on summers and school holidays, when Leo was home from boarding school and now from uni - but when they do, Emma can barely tear her eyes away. Damn, can that man wear a suit.

(Mostly, Emma just blushes a lot whenever he’s around, embarrassed by her own lustful thoughts. It’s a miracle no-one has called her on it yet.)

“Everything alright in here?” he asks, craning his neck towards all the corners, as if some kind of assassin might have made it through multiple layers of security at the palace just to crouch in the corner of a private sitting room. Just doing his job, she guesses. “I thought I heard some kind of shriek from the hallway.”

Emma colors a bit at being caught. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I just —” She abruptly cuts off. “Is that an entire tub of cheese puffs?”

It’s Killian’s turn to turn a bit pink. “Aye. Your brother is playing one of his games, and you know how he gets. Likes his junk food.”

“Spoiled rotten, you mean.”

“I’d never say that,” Killian protests.

“Yeah, says the man bringing a tub of cheese balls up from the kitchens when His Spoiled Highness still has working legs!”

“You know, it sounds an awful lot like you’re deflecting, Your Highness,” Killian points out. His eyes still manage to twinkle with restrained laughter, even if his ears are still red.

He’s caught her, too. “Just a bit frustrated, is all. You know the stormfront going through up North?” Killian nods. “Mom and Dad got caught in it. They won’t be home tonight after all, and probably not even tomorrow. So… it’ll just be me and Leo for Christmas Eve, I guess.”

“I’m sorry, lo — ma’am,” Killian says softly. He does that, sometimes - start to say one thing, before quickly course correcting back to propriety. She’s always wondered what he’s trying to say - she’s never quite figured it out. 

"It's not your fault," she shrugs. "Unless you've got some weird weather powers you've been hiding from me." It would just figure that Killian was the one who could control the weather; just one of the many secrets she doesn't know about him. "When are you heading home? You didn't get the Christmas shift, did you?"

Killian scratches behind his ear as just the tip of the cartilage flushes red. She can't imagine what he has to be embarrassed about; regardless, it's kind of cute.

Not that she's watching. That closely. (All the time.)

"I traded shifts with Mulan," he explains, referencing Emma's own security agent. "She's got... something with her girlfriend's family. Kind of a last minute thing."

"Looks like you're stuck with us, then," Emma comments, trying to tamp down the excited little butterflies in her stomach and the voice in her head that screams score! Very dignified.

Killian grins back. "Looks like I am." They smirk at each other for a minute, some camaraderie simmering between them with an undercurrent of something more. "Well, I'd better get the prince his cheese puffs," he finally says, shaking the container for emphasis. "I'll see you around, Your Highness. Let me know if you need anything."

(It would be horribly foolish to tell him you, so she doesn't say anything at all.)

——— 

By the time Emma makes her way down for dinner, the snowstorm has started in earnest - big, fluffy flakes that accumulate as soon as they hit the ground. In the little sitting room overlooking the gardens where her family takes informal meals, the swirling flakes make her feel like she lives in the little house in the middle of a snow globe. As much as she wishes their parents were here with herself and Leo, she's simultaneously glad that they're not out in the middle of this. 

Leo flings himself into a chair with all the grace of a nineteen-year-old boy. Emma tries not to sigh too loudly at the way his limbs fly every which way, banging against the table and rattling the dishes; she's not willing to turn into her grandmother yet, thank you very much. She loves her brother, but somewhere along the line, he's developed an attitude that's hard to live with. Probably something about the independence of university going to his head, making Leo think too highly of himself. Maybe some girl out there will find it attractive - with their mother's hair and eyes and their father's strong jawline, he'd be a catch otherwise.

(She really must be turning into Grandma Ruth, if she's thinking that kind of thing.)

The one thing that's noticeably absent from Leo's little display is Killian. "Where's Lieutenant Jones?" she asks as the kitchen staff bring in plates of chicken and potatoes and asparagus to place in front of the pair of them. 

Her brother shrugs. "I dunno. Probably having dinner somewhere."

That would make sense. It also brings into stark evidence that he's probably doing so alone; around Christmas, the palace always operates with a skeleton crew of staff so that as many people as possible can spend time with their families. There's no reason he couldn't just eat with the two of them. "Did you invite him to join us?"

Leo flushes red and mumbles something at his plate as he reaches for a dinner roll - not really an answer, but at the same time, more than enough of an answer. 

“Leo…”

“I didn’t think of it, alright?” 

Emma sighs heavily, before standing from the table to track down her brother’s security agent. It doesn’t take much searching; Killian is right outside the door, thumbing through his phone. He hurriedly stows the device away when he sees Emma, practically snapping to attention. “What can I do for you, ma’am?”

“Nothing, really,” Emma says. “You can stand down, or… whatever. I just wanted to see if you’d like to join us for dinner.”

“Oh, that’s really unnecessary —” he protests, but Emma’s determined.

“I know, but still. It’s kind of weirdly quiet around here, and there’s more than enough food. You don’t have to, obviously,” she hurries to clarify, “but it’d be nice to have you there. I’d appreciate the Leo buffer, at least,” she even jokes.

“Well when you put it like that…”

He follows. And of course there’s enough food, and of course he’s perfectly charming, and of course he has the presence of mind to suggest watching a Christmas movie after dinner to get them just a little more into the spirit of the season. Killian fits like that - unobtrusive, the way a good agent ought to be, but also charming and seemingly super-aware of how to cut through some of that sibling tension that always inevitably exists between Emma and her brother. 

The movie is an old classic - one with dancing and singing and two reluctant people falling in love. Emma wouldn’t have expected Killian to like this - would have pegged him more for an action movie fan, or something like that - but he smiles and bobs his head along with the music. Leo is a different story altogether - after not even an hour, he’s already deserted the lounge for his room and video games, leaving Killian and Emma alone together. 

“So what would you be doing tonight? If you weren’t here with us.” Emma’s clarification isn’t necessary in the least; however, she’s sitting close enough to touch Killian on the couch, and the thrill of it all is making her babble. 

He’s gracious enough not to mention it, at least. “I’ve got a brother,” he explains, “and he and his wife have a little boy. Max. Really cute kid; let me dig out my phone, I’ve got so many pictures on there.”

The little boy on the screen can’t be more than four, with a wide and silly grin on his face and a dinosaur shirt to complete the picture. He’s just as cute as Killian promised. 

“That was at his birthday last month,” Killian smiles fondly. “Four years old - growing so fast. Anyways, I usually spend my holiday with them. My sister in law has a huge family, and they’re always happy to let me tag along. Too kind, really.” 

“I’m sorry you’re having to miss that,” Emma replies with genuine regret. 

Killian shrugs; Emma has already proven she wouldn’t be nearly as gracious in the same situation. “There will be other years,” he explains. “All things considered, it’s not so bad, spending the holiday with Leo and your lovely self.”

“I think you’re the first and only person happy to be spending Christmas with that ball of teenaged attitude,” Emma jokes. 

“It’s not so bad,” Killian deflects. “I’ll admit, the constant quips and eye rolling can be a bit much some days, but he’s a good kid underneath. Did you know he paid for all his roommate’s books for the coming semester?” 

“No, I didn’t.” Emma shouldn’t be surprised, but she is. She’s gotten so used to the snarky terror her brother acts like around their family that it’s shocking to hear that it’s not always the case.

“Like I said - he’s a better kid than he lets on.” They watch the screen in silence for a few moments; they’re coming up on the finale. Perhaps Emma can convince him to watch a second movie with her afterwards. “I suppose he didn’t tell you about his girlfriend then?” Killian asks with a laugh.

“Leo’s got a girlfriend?”

“He would if he’d just ask her,” Killian snorts. “Her name’s Britta. You’d like her, I think - she doesn’t put up with any of his nonsense. Which, just between you and me,” he says from the side of his mouth like he’s confiding a secret, “he sorely needs sometimes. Anyways, she lives one floor up in their dorm. They have Intro Geology together.”

“He’s really doing alright?” Emma asks softly. Leo is, more often than not, a little shit, but he’s still her little brother. She still just wants the best for him, most of the time.

“He’s really doing alright,” Killian confirms. “Don’t worry - I’m keeping an eye on the boy. For all of us.”

The warm feeling that leaves in Emma’s soul carries her through the rest of the night. 

——— 

Christmas Eve dawns much the same as the evening before - cold and snowing to the point of a whiteout. Emma isn’t particularly pleased about that turn of events, especially since it means that there’s almost no chance in hell of her parents getting home that day.

At least it’s a good opportunity for her to get a lot of work done. Being the crown princess means commitments to various charities and foundations and plenty of reading to come along with them, not to mention the never-ending stream of correspondence. A day just to focus on the things that have been accumulating on her desk will be good for everyone involved.

At least until the power flickers out. 

It’s midafternoon, just when the light is starting to dim, and she’s been working on editing a proposal someone sent her via email. She technically can do it in the dim light, but it’s… not fun. Emma doesn’t particularly enjoy squinting. There’s generators at the palace, of course, but they’re directed towards the most essential functions - security, heating, and minimal kitchen operations. Lighting, for better or worse, isn’t included on that list - nor is wifi signal. She’s stuck.

On a hunch, Emma wanders down to the kitchen, to find Leo and Killian raiding the cabinets for candles and snacks. She should have figured; two young-ish guys, food was obviously going to be the priority.

“This sucks,” Leo gripes. “First, Christmas gets screwed up, and then this. Unbelievable.”

“To be fair, the electric company can’t really help the snow,” Killian points out as he extracts a roll of cookies from a cupboard. “A lot of electrical infrastructure is still above ground. It’s easy to get knocked out.”

Emma shoots Killian a sidelong look before swiping the same cookies. “How do you know so much about this?”

“You pick up a few things when you read, Your Highness,” he winks back. 

“Are you guys done?” Leo interrupts. “Not everyone wants to watch your thirsty asses flirt all night. I’m not that desperate for entertainment.”

“Oh my god, Leo,” Emma groans back. It’s much more fun to watch how Killian turns bright red to match Emma’s own embarrassment. 

“Look, just because the TV is out, doesn’t mean I want to deal with this.”

“Ok, what would you rather do then?” Killian asks in much more measured a tone than Emma would have been able to muster. Probably the benefit of not being related to Leo.

The younger man shrugs. “Scrabble?”

Killian snorts at that, though Emma doesn’t quite understand why. “Are you sure?”

“I like Scrabble,” Leo defends. “I’m going to kick both your asses.”

It’s as good an idea as any to spend a snowed-in afternoon. 

——— 

A couple hours later, Leo is singing a different tune as Killian plays the last of his Scrabble tiles.

“Make sure you mark my latest points, lad,” he prods with a grin. “I want to make sure my lead is really cemented.” Killian has proved to be an invaluable ally in Emma’s personal quest to knock her brother down a peg; unfortunately, Leo is less enamored of the effort. 

“Whatever. This is so lame,” the prince says, pushing back from the filled board. “I’m going back to my room.”

“Oh, c’mon, Leo, it’s just a game —” Emma protests, but her little brother is already out the door. 

“I thought he said he liked Scrabble?” Killian asks, starting to collect the little tiles back into their bag. 

“Oh, he does. He just likes winning, and usually he can beat the rest of us. Finally met his match with your fancy words, I guess,” she jokes, though it kind of falls flat. It’s hard for the punchline to land when its subject has already stormed out of the room.

“Ah. Well, I apologize for that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Emma excuses. “Though if you don’t mind, I’m not sure I’m up for a rematch - at least not of Scrabble.”

“You got something in mind, Your Highness?” Killian smirks.

“Have you ever played cribbage?”

“Once or twice. I could be persuaded.”

“I’ll get the board then.” Emma stands up, but pauses before actually leaving to do so. “And call me Emma.”

She leaves the room before she can see him react, but barely catches the soft trail of his words as she passes through the door. 

“As you wish… Emma.”

———

It turns out, Killian is lying about having played “a time or two.” Either that, or he’s extraordinarily lucky.

(Cheating isn’t fully off the table, either, but she’s trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Not that he makes it easy.)

“So that’s fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, fifteen eight, fifteen ten, fifteen twelve, fifteen fourteen, pair is sixteen, and three pair is twenty-two.”

Emma groans as he moves his red peg around the outer curve of the board. They look like such a cliche - Emma in her pajamas, Killian with his tie loosened,  sitting in front of a roaring fire with candles scattered on all the flat surfaces as they play cribbage on the floor. The typical picture of two people caught in a power outage. Touching, really. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Sorry to disappoint, but you’ve got the proof right in front of you. A damned good hand, if I do say so myself. What’ve you got there?”

“Utter shit,” Emma proclaims, tossing her cards down on the carpeting. “Run of three and a fifteen for five, plus a fucking useless ace. Absolutely jackshit.”

“It can’t be that bad, can it?” Killian cranes his neck to see where her cards are strewn on the carpeting. A nine, an eight, a seven, and that stupid ace. Nothing. “Never mind, it really can,” he laughs. “Tough luck, love.”

That little word - just a small endearment - hits her like a brick. That’s what he keeps trying not to say, all these times. Love. It just took a few permissions from her, and several more drinks than either one should have indulged in, for him to let it slip. 

(She just might like it - being called love.)

The real question is what he means by it. It could be a verbal tic; it could be something more. Emma knows how she feels, her persistent crush, but it’s hard to tell how Killian feels behind his unflappable professionalism. Or maybe it’s not professionalism - maybe it’s just how he feels? God, she just can’t tell, and it’s about to drive her crazy.

Emma spends a lot of time studying Killian for the rest of their game. She doesn’t really discover anything new - she already knows the way that he laughs and smiles and teases - but it cements, somehow, that he’s a really good guy. She already knew that, really, but tonight has really driven that home.

The longer she watches him, and the stronger her conviction comes, the more she wants to do something about it. Maybe it’s the rum; maybe it’s the ambiance. Whatever it is, Emma wants to know just how he feels too, and hears herself talk without thinking. 

“Hey, Killian, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Emma,” he smiles. 

She shouldn’t continue - should just keep her mouth shut and her dignity intact. Drunk Emma doesn’t agree. “I was just wondering —”

By some miracle, a face-splitting yawn interrupts her sentence, saving Emma from herself. Because she was definitely about to say I was just wondering if you, like, like-like me. You know, like middle school.

“I think it might be time for bed there, love,” he laughs, seemingly oblivious to the butterflies he just set swarming in her stomach. Love. God, she’s a sap, and one who reads too much into things at that. “What were you saying?”

“I… can’t remember. I think the yawn knocked it right out of my head,” Emma lies with a laugh. “You’re right, I should get some sleep. You too - you know where there’s a guest bedroom, right? You’re totally welcome to use it.” A stupid thing to say, all things considered, but Emma has progressed to babbling to cover herself. 

“Aye, I do,” he assures her. “Now come on, love, up you get and off to bed you go.”

Love. 

Emma goes to bed floating on a happy cloud made of rum and his endearments, certain the pairing will only bring her the sweetest dreams. 

———

The dreams are sweet. The morning is decidedly… not. The room is too bright where sun seeps through the shades, and her mouth is too dry, and she can already feel the beginnings of a killer headache encroaching behind her eyes. Revenge of the rum, or something. 

A glass of water helps a bit, as do a couple of painkillers, but Emma is still less than pleased to hear the knock on her door. She’d much rather spend the day in bed, Christmas together-ness be damned, but there’s traditions in this family she can’t run away from, and every year since Emma was very young, they’ve passed out holly sprigs and candy canes to the visitors at the gate.

Killian smirks when she opens the door, apparently finding some sick amusement in the death glare Emma shoots in her groggy state. God, it’s just patently unfair that he still looks so attractive while she’s so hungover - even in yesterday’s suit and shirt. He’s not quite all buttoned up yet - still a bit of chest hair peeking out the top and his tie hanging loose - and it only makes him look even more delectable.

(Is that still a way that people describe hot guys they have chemistry with? Truthfully, Emma is a little too foggy to know or care.)

“Well don’t you look festive,” he teases. “Is this what they call high spirits?”

“No, that was last night.”

“Touche, love,” he laughs. “Do you think you’ll be ready to greet the people at 10:30? That should give you and Leo an hour or so for the meet and greet. Your mother’s speech is scheduled for noon - though I suppose you’ll be tackling that if she doesn’t make it back in time?” He phrases it like a question; it’s not.

Emma groans at the prospect. “Don’t remind me. And don’t jinx it!”

“Sorry, sorry.” His eyes crinkle when he smiles at her - an extra little detail Emma hadn’t noticed before, but now can’t stop seeing. “I’m sure you’ll be brilliant.”

“Yeah, well, I’d rather not have to be.” And it’s true; Emma’s perfectly capable of giving a speech, and has done so on multiple occasions, but her mother’s annual televised Christmas address is something else entirely that Emma would rather avoid at all costs and if at all possible. That all depends on her parents being able to make the flight, however. “How’s the weather today? Any better?”

“Have you not even looked out your windows today?” Killian prods gently. Emma isn’t quite sure when they switched to this teasing relationship they’ve apparently established, but she thinks she likes it. 

“I was a little busy trying to avoid all trace of sunlight,” she shoots back.

“Well, it’s a lovely, crisp day,” he promises. “I don’t see why your parents shouldn’t be home for Christmas.”

Just to hear it out loud is a huge relief, even if she has enjoyed their little bonding exercise the past couple of days. No matter how much fun she’s had with Killian, it’s still Christmas, and she still misses her parents. 

“I’ll see you at breakfast?” Emma asks tentatively, hoping he’ll say yes, scared that he’ll say no.

“I’ll have the kitchens whip up something particularly greasy,” he winks back.

———

The morning is cold, but just as clear as Killian had promised. As much as Emma had grumbled this morning, she actually likes this bit of Christmas tradition - shaking hands, giving their visitors well-wishes, making sure to hand out candy to all the children. It feels like the true spirit of the holiday - giving not for the thanks, but for the smiles, and because it’s the right thing to do.

Still. It’s cold, and as much as Emma had appreciated how wide Killian’s eyes had gotten when she had emerged after breakfast in a full-skirted green coat dress, her skirt and hose don’t offer much protection against the weather. Pants would have been a much more practical choice, but there are expectations for days like these, and a skirt is part of that. 

Her relief is palpable when they finally make it back inside. God only knows where Leo gets to - he’s off the hook, at least - but Emma treks back to her mother’s formal office as soon as her winter wear is sorted. As much as Emma hopes it won’t come to that, her mother’s annual Christmas speech is scheduled in twenty minutes, and if Queen Mary is still on the road, Emma will be expected to fill in. It’s not something she’s looking forward to; spontaneity like this never is, though she knows she’ll only have to read from a prompter. 

Killian beats her there, somehow; by the time she arrives in the antechamber outside where television cameras and lights are already set up, he’s crouched under the tree, fiddling with the lights and offering an excellent view of his ass. Nice.

He catches her staring, of course. “Anything I can help you with, Your Highness?” he asks with a smirk.

“Nah, just taking in the view,” she winks back. Any fears she might have had about last night only being a product of the outage and the rum are largely quelled by the way he’s acting today - not quite just like normal, but not in a bad way either. Closer. More intimate. More… something. 

Emma’s face settles into something more contemplative as she reflects on the change - something Killian, of course, doesn’t fail to notice. “What’s on your mind, love?” he asks, tilting his head in concern and curiosity. 

“Nothing, nothing,” Emma hurries to say at first before reconsidering. She still wants to make a move, to see where they stand; more than that, she wants him to know just how much these past few days have meant to her. With that in mind, she takes a deep breath and tries to be a little brave. “I just… I guess I just want to thank you, Killian.” Emma makes sure to look right in his eyes as she says it so he can see how much she means it. “This wasn’t the Christmas I expected to have, obviously, but it’s been… wonderful, really. And you’re a big part of that.”

“Oh, Emma, you don’t need to —”

“Yes, I do,” Emma interrupts. “I know this probably wasn’t how you planned to spend your Christmas - not when you’ve got your brother and his family to spend time with. But it meant a lot that you were here, even if you didn’t want to be.”

By the time Emma finishes, Killian has flushed a brilliant red - even more than just his ears. “About that, love…” he says, tugging at his hair. “It really wasn’t quite as out of my hands as you believe. Please believe me - there’s no reason to thank me.”

“I don’t understand.” He had switched with Mulan, of course - she knew that already, he had told her as such - but that didn’t change that he’d ended up here for much longer than he should have been, thanks to the storm. 

“You know that I switched shifts… but not when.”

“What does that matter?”

“Well, it matters because when I told you that I’d be around, that I’d switched… I hadn’t, actually. I arranged that with Mulan afterwards. There was no conflict with her girlfriend’s family, I just… I wanted to be here.”

As surprised as Emma is by the revelation, she still feels like there’s something she’s missing - whatever would make him want to stay when he could have avoided it. “Why?” She asks softly, taking a step closer into Killian’s space. This feels like the kind of conversation to require close proximity - foster emotional intimacy, or something like it. As Killian proved in scrabble last night, he’s the one with the words.

Emma can see Killian swallow as he stares down into her eyes. “I wanted you to have a nice Christmas, love,” he replies, just as softly. Tenderly, even. “I could tell you were frustrated, and upset, and… I know it was the height of hubris to think that I could make that better, but I wanted to try. If I could help make it a happy Christmas for you, love… I wanted to try.”

“For me,” Emma breathes - more a realization than a question.

“For you.”

It’s impossible to miss the earnestness and truth in his words and gaze. That desire Emma felt last night to kiss the daylights out of him has been simmering on low ever since they parted for separate beds, but it flares up again at his confession. He did that for her, because he wanted to make her happy. Carefully, Emma takes that last step into his space, so close that their bodies nearly touch. Slowly, she trails her hands behind his neck and up into his hair to draw him down, lips mere inches apart —

A commotion in the hallway barely gives them a moment to break apart before Emma’s mother bustles into the room. As much as Emma has spent much of the last three days wishing her parents were here, now feels like the worst possible time.

“Mom, you’re home!” she manages to gasp weakly. Killian discretely steps away again; though Emma understands why, she’d much rather continue what they’d started - without an audience - than watch him retreat back into professionalism. Especially when moments ago, she’d just gotten a preview of what his hands might feel like against her skin.

“I couldn’t miss Christmas, now could I?” her mother asks, hugging Emma tightly. “I didn’t want to leave you to take care of the Christmas speech either; I know that kind of thing isn’t your favorite, and you’ve had no time to prepare besides… but oh! It’s just so good to be home again! Your father went to try and track down your brother…”

The queen keeps rambling as she strips off her gloves, but Emma doesn’t pay much attention. Sometime in the last handful of minutes, Killian slipped out the door altogether, leaving only Emma, her mother, and her mother’s security head. She missed her chance, it appears.

(And after all they’d shared these past days… Emma could just screech with the frustration of it all. It’s becoming kind of a habit.)

——— 

Emma hopes to talk to him after their interruption - tries to talk to him, even, searching for him across rooms. But it’s Christmas, and her parents are finally home, and it’s so easy to lose track of time and get caught up in the hustle and bustle of things. By the time Emma can break away from the festivity for a few minutes, Killian has already slipped out, quietly replaced by Mulan. She knows that he won’t be back for several days - more than earning a vacation and time with his family after giving up most of his Christmas with her and Leo.

She should be able to talk with him once he’s back at work, too; after all, he’s only got three days off (she knows this for a fact - she asked Leo, any hit to her pride be damned). But by the time Killian is back at work, so is Emma, with charity appearances and daily meetings and everything else her usual schedule entails. 

Maybe it’s fate that they don’t meet again until New Year’s Eve. Maybe it’s just fortuitous scheduling. Whatever the case, Emma doesn’t get a chance to speak with Killian until the annual New Year’s Diplomatic Gala, of all places. 

It could be for the best, maybe; Emma can’t deny that she looks fantastic. Her dress tonight is silver and drapes elegantly across her body, creating a kind of vintage aura, topped with pinned waves, a rich burgundy lipstick, and long white gloves. The diamond and sapphire tiara is just the topper of it all, the icing on the cake.

(Emma’s always liked sapphires, but tonight, the stones don’t seem nearly as blue as his eyes, no matter how much they catch the light.)

She sees him across the room the moment she walks in, along the wall in another tailored dark suit, and she could swear that his eyes follow her too. Killian has a dress uniform, she knows - he wore it to the Armed Forces charity ball last year, and looked quite dashing at that - but tonight’s not the time for that. Tonight, the idea is to be as unobtrusive a presence as possible since he’s on duty, not that it’s going well. It’s hard for Killian to blend in with that face and that suit - or maybe Emma’s just attuned to noticing him. 

Regardless, it’s still not the time to talk anyways - she’s still being escorted into dinner on the arm of the Ambassador to Glowerhaven, and there’s still a banquet and dancing to come. Maybe, if she’s lucky, she can steal away later; maybe, with even more luck, she’ll be able to pull Killian along with her.

(They’ve got unfinished business, and Emma still wants to learn how he kisses.)

The garden balcony off the ballroom isn’t exactly an ideal location in late December, but it’s the only place Emma knows she can get a few blessed moments away from the crush of people inside. It’s cold out, nearly trying to snow again; a few rogue flakes drift from the night sky to land on her bare skin. There’s a handful of heat lamps scattered about, but they only do so much, as do Emma’s gloves. This hadn’t been one of her brighter plans, Emma knows, but she and Killian had been making eye contact all night across the room, and she simply couldn’t wait any longer to slip away and hope he follows her.

Just as Emma’s preparing to abandon the plan and head back inside, a warm weight drops on her shoulders - the faux-fur wrap she’d discarded at the dinner table earlier as it got in the way of her eating. Killian smiles at her when she turns her head to meet his gaze.

“I thought you might be cold, love,” he explains. “We can’t have you catching a chill.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think much about the weather when I came out here - I just wanted a little time alone,” Emma admits. “With you.” The last part is added hurriedly when a flash of embarrassment streaks across Killian’s face, and he looks like he might make an utterly unnecessary run for it. 

“We never finished our conversation from Christmas, did we?” Killian almost looks a little bashful about the subject, ducking his head and tugging at the hair behind his ear. It’s adorable, truly, not to mention a little fascinating - the way he shifts back and forth so rapidly and confidently between seeming like a smooth master of seduction and a bashful boy who isn’t quite sure what’s happening, but is happy to be there. Fascinating, in the best of ways.

“Oh, I thought that conversation was plenty finished,” Emma teases. She even sways into his space flirtatiously to underline her point, finding some kind of boldness within her that she wasn’t certain she possessed. It must just be something about Killian that brings it out in her. “If I remember right, we were about to move on to… how would you put it? Much more pleasant exchanges, or something like that?”

“Something like that,” he mumbles back. “If I crossed a line the other day… I’m sorry if I overstepped, Your Highness —”

“It’s still Emma,” she corrects with a smile, reaching out to lay a hand on Killian’s arm. “And you didn’t overstep. I was right there wish you.”

“I’d just hate to think that I pressured you into something —”

“Killian, did you want to kiss me on Christmas?” Emma interrupts.

Killian pauses. Emma wasn’t aware a human person could turn that red. “Yes,” he finally admits - just one simple word that sets her heart a-flutter.

“Well, that’s lucky, because I did too. Still do, honestly.” 

“You do?” Killian looks like he can’t quite believe his luck.

“I mean, yeah. Christmas could have been… honestly, straight up depressing. But you made it better. And I… I like you. I mean, I’ve been attracted to all this —” she waves a demonstrative hand — “for a while, but I like you. It’s New Year’s Eve, and it’s stupidly picturesque, and I want to kiss you at midnight. If you still want that too.”

Killian breaks into a wide smile. “What if I don’t want to wait for midnight?” he asks, moving so close into her space that she can feel his breath on her face. She twines their fingers together where their hands finally meet. “What if I still want to kiss you? Now?”

“Then I’d say…” 

Emma never bothers to finish the sentence, opting instead to lean forward and meet Killian’s lips with her own. Her high heels put her at the perfect height to just barely need to tip her head upwards to find a perfect angle. Killian’s lips are soft against her own - gentle and teasing at first, almost like he’s just trying to learn the shape and feel of them before anything else, but he’s more than happy to deepen the kiss when Emma sinks her hands into his hair to pull him closer. He tastes a little minty, like he just popped a mint before coming out to speak with her - a fact that seems impossibly endearing, even through the pleasurable haze of their kiss. She can feel his hands through the fabric of her dress, firm and warm at her hips, like he’s keeping her safe even now. The kiss is tender, and passionate, and perfect.

(Then Killian tilts her head with calloused fingers at her chin to adjust the angle and sweep his tongue into her mouth, and she gladly stops thinking much of anything at all.)

“That was…” he breathes when they finally separate, breaking apart just far enough to rest his forehead against her own.

“Well worth the wait,” Emma finishes. And then laughs, unable to hold it back. “You’ve been holding out on me, Jones.”

“Call it the magic of Christmas,” he teases back. Fireworks start going off around them; though Emma hazily wonders for a moment if they did that, somehow set off literal fireworks to match the metaphorical ones bursting between them, before she realizes it must be the new year. They completely missed the countdown - not that she cares.

“So how does one go about dating the Crown Princess?” Killian asks, already leaning in for another round of kissing. “I think that just might be my New Year’s Resolution.” 

“Stick around, and you’ll find out.”

She’s got a lot of plans for them. 

[incomprehensiblelentils]

Lentils’ 2020 Christmas Movie Rankings

My wife and I watched a lot of Christmas movies this year, and I thought it would be fun to rank them based on which ones I think were most watchable and enjoyable. I’ve left out a few that we watched during this time period, which are classic Christmas movies (Miracle on 34th Street), action movies set at Christmas (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Iron Man 3), or older romances set around Christmas (While You Were Sleeping and You’ve Got Mail), because it’s not fair to rank these amongst, well, some of the movies we saw.

my top 5, for those of you who don’t like reading (which is fair): The Princess Switch: Switched Again, Dashing in December, The Princess Switch, Jingle Jangle, Happiest Season.

my top 3 Chaotic Christmas Movies: A New York Christmas Wedding, 12 Pups of Christmas, The Princess Switch: Switched Again. Please watch these movies if you enjoy chaotic plots. Please especially watch the first two I listed because holy shit my summaries do not properly convey the chaos.

The Princess Switch: Switched Again (2020): Some people on the internet have been VERY RUDE about this movie and I’m sorry they don’t appreciate a true chaotic holiday gem when they see it. This movie involves two Vanessa Hudgenses, Scheduled Vanessa and Spontaneous Vanessa, who are distant cousins and not twins, switching places to try to facilitate Spontaneous Vanessa getting back together with her ex the baker, but Scheduled Vanessa is intercepted by a third cousin Vanessa, Horny Vanessa, who wants to take Spontaneous Vanessa’s place as queen. I don’t want to spoil anything that happens in this movie so that you can experience the batshittery for yourself, but I found every second absolutely delightful. It also has two very good romantic couples who are cute and who genuinely seem to like each other, which is not something I can say for every movie on this list!

Dashing in December (2020): This movie has gay cowboys, is set on a ranch, and features a squaredancing scene, so if that isn’t your bag, you are probably not going to like it very much. I found it deeply charming and the only reason it isn’t #1 is that three quarters of the way through, the lead suddenly turns back into a giant jerk for no real reason and that was very upsetting. But it all works out in the end. The main romance is very cute, there are horses, the horsemanship doesn’t totally suck ass, and there are some fun side characters. It’s not reinventing the wheel, but it’s pleasant.

The Princess Switch (2018): Again, some people are mean about this movie and they shouldn’t be because it is CUTE GODDAMMIT. It is absolutely The Prince and the Pauper but with two Vanessa Hudgenses, but also, it shows the aforementioned two good romantic couples falling in love and they are delightful. I am not saying this is a great masterpiece of romance, but the filmmakers actually tried to give these characters reasons to like each other, which, again, is not true for some of the movies on this list.\

Jingle Jangle (2020): I kind of feel bad putting this movie on the same list as TV movies that were obviously just shit out by Hallmark or whoever, because this clearly had a lot of love and heart put into it, and it really shows. I was so immediately charmed by this movie that I didn’t even mind when it immediately went in very silly directions. I don’t know if the plot makes sense at all (a cute robot shows up for seemingly no reason other than that cute robots are fun!) but it doesn’t have to, because everyone is having so much fun and there’s so much joy in this movie that I was just happy to be along for the ride. Also, I would love to see an entire movie in the stop-motion style from the opening scene.

Happiest Season (2020): I absolutely understand why some people didn’t like this movie, and I don’t want anyone to feel like they can’t dislike it, and also, it’s MY movie, and I love it, and I’m not interested in fighting about it. It helped me come out to my parents and also featured two of my faves kissing and that’s all I need. 

Noelle (2019): I was previously under the impression this movie was bad, and I don’t know why, because it’s a little embarrassing and cheesy at times, but it’s sweet. I suspect what will make or break it for you is if you like Anna Kendrick, and because I like Anna Kendrick, I like watching her play a neurotic Claus sibling trying desperately to fix the problem she accidentally caused. One weird thing though: this movie tried to convince me about halfway through that she was both spoiled and selfish, and I don’t actually think that’s true at all. I think she was a little naive and sheltered and wanted people to like her way too much, but she’s not really shown to be a selfish person - she’s constantly paying attention to other people in the real world and her brother is the one who refused to admit that he wasn’t cut out for the Santa gig and instead fucked off to “find himself” or whatever. It was weird! But anyway, I liked this movie a lot.

I’ll Be Home For Christmas (1998): So this movie...one Christmas Eve when I was in high school, I was having trouble falling asleep for whatever reason so I went downstairs to get some water. My mom happened to have the TV on and this movie was just starting, and she invited me to join her. Fun fact: this movie went to theaters and it stars Jonathan Taylor-Thomas and Jessica Biel. It is one of the dumbest movies I’ve ever seen in my life and at no point does anyone in it actually behave like a human being. It’s about a smooth-talking jackass who has to be bribed to come home for Christmas and then, after one of his dumbass moneymaking schemes lands him in hot water, he gets abandoned in the middle of the California desert wearing a Santa suit and glued-on beard. He then has to beg, lie, and cheat his way home for Christmas dinner so that his dad will give him a vintage Porsche they fixed up together. I have no defense for this character; he is insufferable and only becomes marginally less so by the end of the film. But also, I have to watch this movie every year (usually with my mom, although not this year for obvious reasons) or it doesn’t feel like Christmas. 

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019): We own this on DVD and have seen it three times. In our defense, we wanted to support Gregg Sulkin from Runaways and Isabella Gomez from One Day at a Time, both of whom feature prominently in this movie, and also sing songs. This is just Cinderella But At Christmas, and if that doesn’t sound like fun to you, I don’t think anything I can say will change your mind. I will say that the songs are amusingly autotuned, there’s a disabled dog that’s very cute, and I personally think that the leads have slightly better chemistry than some of the pairs on this list. But it is literally just another Cinderella Story movie.

The Knight Before Christmas (2019): This movie is Thor (2011) But At Christmas, and it would have been slightly higher except I always forget about the plot where at the end the knight becomes a cop. Bad, obviously! But anyway, the plot of this movie is: nice but clueless dude crash-lands on Earth for Reasons and bumbles around trying to figure out what’s up, while falling in love with a nice lady. That’s just Thor and you know I’m right. And for as dumb as this movie is, at least it’s ambitious. I have learned that Christmas movies can do one of two things to please me: a) have actors that have decent chemistry and charm and are fully committed to whatever nonsense is going on, or b) have absolutely batshit chaotic plots. This movie is like a 4 out of 5 on the chaos scale and I like it a lot, besides the copaganda. I hope this also gets made into a trilogy and Cole isn’t a cop anymore.

A Christmas Prince 3: The Royal Baby (2019): I will get into my problems with the first two Christmas Prince movies later, but my main criticism is that they are kind of boring and not chaotic enough. This one decided to make up for that by incorporating a missing ancient treaty, a curse, and a ghost, as well as a subplot about Girl Power (I use this semi-ironically) and a subplot about cousin Simon potentially committing treason again. I was so excited that things were happening in this movie the first time I watched it that I may be a little biased, but oh well. Oh, I was also absolutely terrified it was going to be racist and it is...mostly not? There are a few questionable moments but like mostly it’s fine.

Christmas With the Prince (2018): I wanted to watch this because the summary on Netflix did not match the summary on Google at all, and that’s because, uh, they’re both sort of right? Ostensibly this movie is about a pediatric oncologist who comes back into contact with an old almost-flame, who just happens to be the prince of a tiny European country, because he fucked up his leg and needs somewhere private to stay. And apparently a pediatric oncology ward is the best place for that? But then after they fall in love this random Russian lady shows up and is like “that’s my fiance.” This happens maybe twenty minutes from the end. Anyway, this movie isn’t great but I liked the lead guy way more than I thought I would and it has some cute kids in it.

A New York Christmas Wedding (2020): I...am at a loss for words to describe this...motion picture. On the surface it is a cute idea: a young Black woman, Jennifer, is getting married to her boyfriend on Christmas Eve, but she’s given a chance by her guardian angel (stay with me) to go back in time and redo her life, after losing touch with her childhood best friend, Gabrielle, who she was always in love with but never confessed her feelings to. She wakes up in an alternate timeline, where she and Gabrielle have been together for years and her beloved father is still alive. Then the movie, uh...veers off into some very odd places! They go to their Catholic priest and ask him to marry them, and he is like “but the Bible” and they are like “but that’s bullshit” and he’s like “shrug” and then later during a sermon he’s like “actually that IS bullshit, everyone gay in this church come stand up here with me. We love you. Also we’re going to perform a wedding now” and then he marries Jennifer and Gabrielle. And then Jennifer’s angel shows up and is like “you have to choose between this life and your old life now” and then uh...I really hate to spoil this next thing. It is the weirdest choice I’ve ever seen a movie make and if you’re even the slightest bit interested in this movie, I think you should experience this plot point for yourself. I’m going to put the batshit spoiler in ROT13 in case you want to avoid spoiling yourself. (GJ: fhvpvqr) Wraavsre'f thneqvna natry erirnyf gung ur vf gur fba bs Tnoevryyr, jub va gur bevtvany gvzryvar tbg certanag nf n grra naq ure snzvyl frag ure gb n ahaarel. Fur zvfpneevrq naq fhofrdhragyl qvrq ol fhvpvqr. Uvf anzr vf Nmenry Tnovfba. Anyway, uh, this movie isn’t very good, unfortunately, the adult leads have no chemistry and Gabrielle’s adult self is actively unlikable (the teen versions of them are cute!), but I think it’s 1000% worth a watch for the sheer chaos of it all. I...recommend it for that, I guess? Oh, also there’s a sex scene that plays a slow sexy version of “O Christmas Tree” in the background and I felt like I was losing my mind. 

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding (2018): As I said in my commentary on the third movie in this series, the worst sin this movie commits is being kind of boring. It also manages to make the romantic hero, Richard, even worse than in the first movie, where he was just kind of useless and petulant, because in this movie he is actively failing to do anything to revive the failing economy of his country. I have seen people complain that the prince in The Princess Switch and Cole in The Knight Before Christmas have no personalities; they are delightful compared to the wet paper bag of a man in this movie. Rose McIver is adorable and I don’t think any of this is her fault, she’s doing her best in these movies, but woof.

12 Pups of Christmas (2019): The Google summary of this movie, which we found on Hulu, is this: “Struggling to keep his dog GPS locator company afloat, Martin expects his new hire, Erin, to help him save the company and find homes for 12 puppies that were left behind after a photo shoot. As they work together, Erin and Martin begin to discover each other's positive qualities and find love just in time for the holidays.” My wife and I love dogs, so we put this on, expecting cute dogs. This movie contains approximately 80% chaos and 20% cute dogs. It opens with our heroine, a canine therapist, coming home from work to have dinner with her fiance and best friend. We find out that Erin and fiance are moving to California soon for her new job (they live in New York). Fast forward a few days to their courthouse wedding, at which point her fiance and best friend confess to having an affair, and she is dumped. Heartbroken, she moves to California alone, and ends up moving into the company-provided house. It is just a two-story house (??) that the CEO’s sister owns (???) and rents out to employees (????). Also Erin is, as the Google summary says, expected to come up with some grand idea to save the company. And there are 12 random puppies also. They are cute puppies. Oh, also Martin, the CEO of the dog collar company, hates dogs for some reason. Martin’s sister is aggressively friendly towards Erin in a way that I interpreted as sapphic. At one point, after they find a home for dog #3, Erin’s former BFF shows up on her doorstep (?????) begging to be let in. She insists that the fiance was also two-timing her, and she has proof that he had FIVE OTHER GIRLFRIENDS ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY - “that’s why he’s a traveling businessman”!!!! Erin never asks to see her proof, but I guess she believes her, because she lets her inside and then makes her take care of the remaining eight dogs out of spite. I guess they make up at some point. Anyway, somewhere in here Erin and Martin are starting to fall in love and also come up with a way to rebrand the business, so hooray for them. We also learn that the reason Martin hates dogs is that his beloved childhood dog, uh, ran away? Disappeared? Got eaten? He insists that “not knowing [what happened to him] was the worst part,” but I was out here expecting to see the child finding an actual dead dog like it’s John Wick or something so this was a little anticlimactic. They go on a business trip to New York talk with Important Japanese Investors, during which they fuck (it is? romantic? allegedly?), and then the morning of their meeting Erin’s shitty ex shows up in the hotel lobby to bother her. Martin decks him square in the face for not leaving her alone, and then someone calls the cops, because I guess this movie said ACAB, and both dudes get arrested and Erin has to do the presentation alone. And then in the last five minutes Martin gets out of jail and Erin says that she gave the presentation to the investors...in English, and their translator was twenty minutes late, and so the investors understood none of what she said. Thankfully we are spared actually seeing this “joke,” but they do play racist music over her explanation. Then Martin reconnects with his rich dad who bails out the company instead, and also he adopts the four remaining dogs. This movie was fucking bananas and very bad and I need more people to understand exactly how bad. Watch this movie.

A Nutcracker Christmas (2016): Amy Acker has two Christmas movies and this one seemed more palatable than Dear Santa, so here we are. I like to watch Amy Acker be cute and dance, and she has an adorable teenage niece in this movie that she’s helped raise. In this movie she’s a former ballet dancer whose sister (hilariously, one of the Wynonna Earp lesbians) died in a tragic car accident, and she never got to dance the part of the Sugarplum Fairy. Spoiler alert: she gets to by the end of the movie. Unfortunately the love interest is basically Satan incarnate and does not deserve her at all, so unless you like yelling at romantic leads I can’t really recommend it. 

Godmothered (2020): This movie is just, uh, Enchanted but worse, and also it should have been sapphic and it isn’t? Poor Jillian Bell is doing her best and is adorable, but it’s not enough to save this movie for me. If Disney were not cowards she would have fallen in love with single mom Isla Fisher. Oh, it also ends with the very white younger daughter doing a public cover of “Rise Up” by Andra Day that the audience joins in on, which, considering its use in the BLM movement the last couple years, felt, uh, not great to me.

A Christmas Prince (2017): It’s maybe not far to compare this to the rest of the Netflix Christmas Cinematic Universe, because it was the originator. But also, it’s pretty boring. Sorry. Simon, or Fiddles (Fake Hiddles/Tom Hiddleston) is the best character.

Married by Christmas (2016): Apparently an alternate title for this is The Engagement Clause, which is sort of funny. Anyway, this has Jes Macallan and we, being big fans of Legends of Tomorrow, lost our shit when we found this on Christmas Day and had to watch it. The plot is that Jes’ character runs the family business, but their shitty grandma died and left a clause in her will where the business goes to the husband of whichever granddaughter gets married first. You would think that Jes’ sister and her fiance would postpone their Christmas Eve wedding to give Jes time to set up some kind of platonic wedding for business purposes, since Jes’ entire life is this stupid business, but nope, they immediately turn into monsters who are determined to get their hands on the business for ???? reasons???? It’s not very good, as you can tell by how low it is on the list. Jes Macallan is not a convincing straight businesswoman. I wouldn’t even really enjoy this movie as an Avalance AU.

A Princess for Christmas (2011): Here we are, the worst one Christmas movie I watched this year. I don’t actively harbor any ill will towards Katie McGrath, although I confess to feeling a bit “her?” but it’s fine. I was hoping this movie would enlighten me to her appeal. Instead, this movie actively got on my nerves in multiple ways, including trying to pass Katie McGrath off as a normal American retail worker instead of an Irish vampire/sorceress/supervillain/fairy/whatever she is. Her accent is shockingly awful, which I’m not sure is actually her fault, is there a reason her family wasn’t just British? That wouldn’t have saved the movie but it would have made it just slightly more palatable. At every turn it makes the worst choices, including a scene where Katie’s character puts on a rap song and she and the prince dance to it in an attempt to show them “loosening up,” and then the mean grandfather comes in and demands that they “turn this ghetto music off.” YIKES. I know these movies are the whitest movies ever by design but was that racism necessary? The only Black people I actually saw in this movie were some of the servants, I think? Speaking of the servants, at the end of the movie there’s a grand ball and Katie’s dress gets fucked up, and she’s about to leave the country, and then the servants are like “don’t go! We pooled our money to buy you another nice dress!” which, also yikes! This movie has a real classism problem. It also was so boring I zoned out of it multiple times, and I have sat through Manos: The Hands of Fate and Birdemic multiple times. This movie has no chaos whatsoever and I hated all the characters. 0/10 do not recommend under any circumstances.

[timebird84]

🎄 PotO Advent Calendar ‘19 🎄

By @daae-dancer93​

Christine loved Christmas almost as much as she loved her family and music, but this year would be different. It was her first holiday season with Erik in ten years, along with their daughter, Charlotte. Little Lotte was with her father in the music room. They were perfecting Charlotte’s violin piece for the holiday Mass. Erik was overwhelmed when he learned that he had a ten-year-old daughter who was just as much an angel as her mother. Her face was identical – but she shared their eyes. They were most unusual, one sapphire eye like her mother and one amber gold like her father. With her fiery amber curls she was such a beautiful child that very few others noticed her mobility challenges, but Erik did and because it was their first Christmas together he wanted to create a miracle. He despised himself that he wasn’t there for his child when she contracted the infection that took away her ability to walk, but her spirits were high as her mothers because they shared the love of the holiday he had so despised not so long ago.

“Charlotte your fingers are going to blister, and your mother will be cross with me, let’s take a break from the violin for a minute,” Erik said scooting her closer to him on the piano bench.

“But Papa! It just has to be perfect for Christmas Eve!” she whined as he took the instrument from her hands and put it back in the case.

“And it will be my little angel, but how about we go see what Maman is up to – I think she said something about making cookies in the kitchen. I’m sure she would love a little helper to cut them out and decorate them.”

Christine smiled when her two favorite people joined her in the kitchen, giving them each a kiss. “My love, my little angel. I’ve got the gingerbread ready to cut and bake, and while they bake, we can string cranberries and popcorn. After they cool, we can decorate our little gingerbread people! Erik, are you going to help?” she asked, her smile reaching her eyes in a way he usually couldn’t turn down.

“As much as I’d love to be in the kitchen doing festive things, I have a project of my own I need to work on in my workshop, so with your permission I’ll take my leave and be back for bedtime. I do believe it’s my turn for a story tonight.” He kissed the top of Charlottes head, ruffling her unruly ringlets and making her giggle, and in turn he chuckled too. “I’ll see you angels in a while.”

Christine shook her head, all attention was on the task at hand of rolling out the dough, cutting and placing it on the cookie sheet. “Maman?” a little voice interrupted the process in Christine’s head. “Yes Petite?”

“This is our first Christmas with Papa…I want to get him something special, but I don’t know what I should do? He has all the music, and all the tools, he has an entire park of things. I’m just me. What can I get him that’s meaningful?” she rambled, Christine knelt next to her little girl, brushing a curl away from her face.

“You are gift enough for the both of us. I know you want your violin piece for Mass to be perfect, and it will be I’m sure. What if we practice a new song, one that your papa taught me when I was living in the opera house, and we sing it for him together, hm? Does that sound fine with you my duckling?” Charlotte considered the offer, pursing her lips in deep thought before she nodded.

“Yeah, I’d like that but when will we practice? Papa hears us sing and he’s here in a moment!” She said tossing her hands up in the air, letting them fall to her lap in an exasperated fashion. Christine laughed at her little girls’ antics. “All right, let’s finish these cookies then.”

Erik locked himself in his basement workshop. He laid out various lengths of metal rods and plates, screws, nuts, and bolts, along with the softest leather he could find in his supply. He had sketched out the design of a brace that would support Charlotte’s hips all the way down to her feet. He hoped it would help her gain strength to walk on her own again. He took a deep breath and started the first prototype. He had made one similar for one of his coworkers on Coney Island, but one leg still mobile at the hip is different from both legs lacking the ability to bear weight. For the first time, he prayed to Christine’s God for a miracle. He realized that she would also need stability to lean on her arms too. Erik quickly sketched out crutches she could use for her forearms and hold onto. He smiled to himself and got working.

When the cookies finished cooling Charlotte took great care in creating ginger people with a striking resemblance to her family. Erik had come upstairs as she was putting a frosting mask onto the one that looked like him. “Now where have I seen this cookie before?” He asked, kissing the top of Charlottes curly head.

“That’s because this is us! See! You, Maman, and Me…” she said looking at her own cookie sadly. “The legs got broken on this one because I accidentally dropped it…so, I figured it should be mine since they don’t work.” Erik was new to the role of father, but this kind of sadness did not belong to his little girl, even if it did come honestly to some degree. He didn’t like this feeling of distress from his Lotte.

“Now then, is that something to be so upset over? I think you’re perfect and so is your cookie. While I was in my workshop, I realized that I’m going to have to show you what I’m doing and have you try it on. Would you like to come down and see what I’m working on?” His gaze moved to Christine, “You may join us if you’d like my Angel. How does that sound little duck?” Charlotte nodded and smiled a little.

“Because I’m learning what my gift is early, does that mean I won’t get anymore presents?” Lotte asked as her Erik carried her to the workshop with Christine right behind, she smiled.

“No Petite, you will still get other presents I’m sure.” Christine looked at the contraption Erik had put together in just a few hours. “Erik what is all this?” she asked as Erik set their daughter on the table.

“A miracle, I hope. This is just the first go at it. – I’m want my little girl to have independent freedom from her wheelchair and being carried.” He pointed to each part of the design of metal and leather straps. “This piece will go around your waist because you are stable there. The rest work like trousers in a way that the next part goes around your thighs here.” He pointed to her upper thigh. “Above and below the knees and then under the bottom of her shoes to hold them in place.”

Christine stood gob smacked and wide eyed as ever. Charlotte beamed with excitement.

“Charlotte my love can you lift your dress up for me so I can get to your waist?” Erik asked picking up the contraption. “Yes Papa, Maman, Will you help me?” Christine came over, picked up Lotte, and held her as if she was standing. “Would this be easier my love?”

“Yes, actually thank you. Charlotte, this strap is lined with wool to go over your underclothes so it wont dig. I need you to pull it as tight as can and still be comfortable.” Charlotte took the strap and pulled. It felt weird but it was like wearing a tight sash. Erik punched a hole where she pointed and threaded it through the buckle. Next he lined the legs up to hers, he looked up at her with a smile. “Breath my love. I can tell you’re nervous. We will make this work.” As he fastened the straps all the way down to her feet, Christine continued to hold her little one. “Ok last part,” he brought out the crutches he altered to her size. “You’re going to hold on here” Erik pointed to the handles that protruded, “and your forearms go right here so you can lean on them. They will hold her Christine let her lean on them.”

“Papa, I’m scared I’m going to fall.” Lotte’s eyes were wide and surprised she was standing on her own.

“Little Lotte, my petite angel, you aren’t going to fall because – you are going to fly.” He smiled. “Let’s go upstairs and try it on the carpet, would that be better?” Lotte nodded. Christine was in tears. Her little baby hadn’t stood on her own in seven years. Erik carried her back up the stairs and into the living room where there was a plush carpet.

The doctors had given her exercises to keep Charlottes’ muscles from deteriorating and they did them enough that she could move them a little on her own but not enough to bear weight. Occasionally she would have cramps so badly that she screamed to wake the dead.

Erik set Lotte on her feet once more, not letting go until he was confident that she could balance. “Charlotte. My duckling, my petite – I want you to take the crutches a little ways away from you, and try to get your legs to go forward with you. If you can’t its ok, we’ll work on it. Can you try for Papa?” Charlotte put on a brave face, nodding.

“Yes Papa, I’m going to try, you’ll catch me if I fall right?”

“Yes little one.” Erik smiled.

Christine sat on the sofa, wringing her hands, hoping and praying that she would be successful and not get hurt. Of course it was a foolish thought Erik would never allow injury to come to their little girl. Charlotte took a deep breath and moved her crutch in front of her and used her hips to push herself forward. Lotte’s right foot slid forward just a little. Christine gasped and her tears flowed freely. Charlotte pulled her left foot to be parallel to the right and tried again.

Erik grinned, “That’s my little girl, come to me!” he was almost giddy. “You can do it my Lotte Marie.” He encouraged. Charlotte was breaking a sweat and crossed the small distance between them.

“I’m doing it Papa! I’m doing it! Maman, Look!” she beamed

“Yes Baby girl you are.” Christine moved closer and knelt on the floor with Erik.

Charlotte opened her arms and hugged them both. “Thank you Papa! This is going to be the best Christmas Ever. Can we go eat our Christmas cookies now?” Lotte grinned.

Erik kissed Christine, and held his girls closer. “Yes, I think we can go celebrate with some cookies now.” He scooped up his little girl and put his other arm around his wife to enjoy their festive holiday evening and eating Christmas cookies.

* * * * * * * * * *

The days passed, and Erik spent much of the time leading up to Christmas squirreled away in his workshop. He had made many notes the night of that first fitting, it took him most of a week to make those modifications and refinements. The second fitting was less climactic, most of that fitting involved clipping the wool of the pads that transferred her weight to the framework, ensuring its even distribution, and preventing rubs and blisters.

The structure had been refined so that everything lay close to the leg, without sacrificing needed strength or stiffness, and extra, counterproductive stiffness eliminated. What remained was elegant in its simplicity, the only places there was even a dram of extra weight was to all for adjustments as Charlotte grew, both in size and in strength. He was afraid to voice it, but his hope was that one day, with exercise and practice, she would gain enough strength to walk unassisted, but until then the braces would support enough weight to allow her mobility.

One of his realizations early on was that he had to allow a way for the brace to bend at the knee. Taking the brace on and off was not going to be an option every time she needed to rest, at least not unless they wanted to take up naturalist ways, and the winter weather on Coney Island was hardly suited to that! He looked at the devices others had made, took the best parts, and designed his own hinges for the knee joint, and rebuilt the hip support so it would articulate too, both joints controlled by a single lever located at her waist

As she practiced with the braces in his workshop she was often in just her night dress, which gave him ready access to all of the adjustments. When he saw that despite his careful trimming the wool caused redness, he had special silk stockings made for her that fit her frail legs perfectly, and provided the final bit of protection. There would be no pressure sores on his angel’s legs.

Once the mechanicals were finished, the real work began. He constructed a device that ran on a track from an overhead trolley he scavenged from a ride, and then built parallel bars to use for stability, so Lotte focus on learning the gait needed to walk with the braces without having to focus on her crutches too. The trolley relieved her of most of her weight in the beginning, each day he adjusted to add a little more of her weight to give her muscles a chance to get accustomed to the work.

A week before Christmas he took down the hand rails, and they started with the crutches. He helped her dress, putting the braces under her clothing, and then helping her into custom boots that were both fashionable, and worked with the braces. Other than her crutches you could not tell she had any disability at all. She clapped and laughed and cried when he showed her herself in a full length mirror.

“Papa! Call Maman, I want her to see how pretty I am!”

“My little duckling, you are beautiful, the braces only let you stand, so others can see how beautiful from farther away,” but he also did as she asked and called Christine to the shop.

Charlotte took a few more paces around the room with Erik while they waited for Christine to join them. but Lotte kept making her way back to the mirror. “Papa, I’m not so broken.”

Lotte stood and looked at herself in the mirror for a while longer when she heard the footsteps she turned her head. “Maman! Look! Stay there!” She turned and all of her practice with the parallel bars paid off, as she had with the crutches, she was slow to turn but she could do a straight line. Christine started weeping tears of joy seeing her little girl finally taking her first steps.

Christine saw the sight of her little angel in her new long holiday dress. “My Little Lotte, look at you! You’re walking!” Erik stood behind Christine with a smile. “She is. She’s walking, the one thing I didn’t get to miss. For which I will be eternally sorry for not being there for you, or her.” He whispered in her ear. Lotte crossed the workshop and stood in front of her mother, her arms embracing her tightly, but careful to not upset her balance.

The night of the Mass, his generous contribution has ensured him a secluded seat in the Triforium. His angels might see him as beautiful, but no others, and tonight he did not want to hear the people’s gasps and exclamations. “One would think,” he thought, “that by now I would be used to it, and normally I am, but tonight I want to be perfect.” He sat in his dark corner and watched the mass, hearing the once familiar Latin chants and prayers. As he listened to the service if wondered if the God that Christine prayed to really existed, but he perked up when Charlotte began to play. She was to the side of the sanctuary, almost in the Transepts, but still in the nave, in a spot that resonated with her instrument, reinforcing its tone and volume. The song was beautiful and perfect, as he knew it would be, and he sat for that moment, transfixed by its perfection. At the end of her performance there was a stunned silence, and then, despite being in church, applause from the people seated in the Nave.

When she finished playing, he watched as she stood. He hoped she was not taking a bow, he wasn’t a believer, but he knew the church was not big on vanity. Charlotte didn’t bow, simply stood there, and then Christine joined her, a single note was played on the piano, and they began to sing. The song seemed familiar to him, he suddenly remembered. It was a Christmas Eve, he was to have sung with the children’s choir, but kindly old father Francis had fallen ill four days before the midnight mass, and another priest came in to fill his duties. Father Alfonzo took one look at his disfigured face, and told him right in front of everyone that he was longer a part of the choir, that even if he had the voice of an angle, he would still spoil the performance. He had run all the way home, chased by the laughter of the other boys, and his nounou had comforted him, singing the very song that Christine and Charlotte sang. It was later that year that his mother sold him as a freak…. It transported him back, there had been few moments of tenderness in his childhood, and while the sting of rejection was still there, he had the same unconditional love from his Angels. His emotions overcame him, and he did not even realize that his rich baritone had joined theirs for the final verse until he saw that there were people looking at him in awe, no trace of revulsion on their faces, as if they did not see the horror that lay covered by his mask.

[seenashblog]

Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark Original Christmas Movies, So You Don’t Have To (2019)

This is the thing where I recap and rate cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies (mostly - if other channels do "original" holiday movies, like Lifetime, I may sneak those in there, too). This post will be updated with new entries as I go, all below the cut. I'm rating based upon The Cheesy Christmas Movie Bingo Card. Here it is, and feel free to use it for your own watching:

More quick clarification on ratings: 

When something's pulling in a 4 or 5 star, that means the Bingo only popped a few squares. When something's hitting at a 3, it's a handful of squares, maybe came in the ballpark of having a Bingo. The 2s mean definitely got a Bingo. The 1s mean anywhere from more than one Bingo to nearly filled the damn card. Outside of the card, stars can also get docked because of piss-poor writing, embarrassing acting, draggy flow, and shitty casting (read: lack of chemistry).

Put another way - 3 stars means they aren’t exactly a waste of time, 2 stars are debatable/up to personal taste, and of course 1 star means I will never get that time back and I’m that much closer to death because of the movie and what it drained from my soul.

Here's the 2018 list

And remember: never, EVER watch “My Christmas Love” 😉

Let’s roll. Most recent entries will be first.

#6

Once Upon A Christmas Miracle (Hallmark, 2018 - Brett Dalton, Aimee Teegarden - the latter of whom will make you think "I know someone who looks like her" because she looks like that girl you went to school with or worked with or was a friend of a friend, or maybe is a friend of yours - she's just got that look about her. My Aimee Teegarden's name is Jessica.)

This movie is infuriating.

Brett is a great actor, Aimee is serviceable, let's just get that out of the way. Matter of fact, you're not going to find any of the acting grating. Overall, everybody's fine.

Here's what you need to know: this is based on a true story, and that story is that a woman who needed a liver transplant gets a random donor (no one in her fam was a match apparently). And donor's this awesome dude, and they end up falling in love. Cool story, right?

Yeah, then Hallmark got their hands on it.

Everything is shmoop. Everything. The family (including the - way to go casting - sister who looks nothing like her, I mean NOTHING like her) is on Christmas like it's crack. Details include her hand-making wreaths, and oh by the way she does it for every holiday. Okay. Whatever. Some of us have more time on our hands than others. Look at me, I pause in housework to type this shit up when I could be doing said housework. It's all about priorities.

There's of course The Conflict, which is that he gets a job offer out of town. But before all that, he organizes a Christmas Eve party focused on fundraising for her because of the medical bills and because she won't go back to nursing school since money. Welcome to the USA, the only advanced, developed country on the planet where they don't consider investment in our populous as important as investment in, well, you pick. I'm furious. I'm also grinding my teeth over the gross medical inaccuracies in this one, but I won't go down that road or we'll be here all day. I bring that up because the thing upon which this story pivots is the medical issue, so some realism there is important so that we as the audience can understand the gravity of what they went through, the sacrifice he made for a stranger, why this bonded them, etc.

I hate this movie. I hate it. The family is insufferably perfect. It's so overblown it's unrealistic. And that wasn't needed - it's okay to show them stressed and worried, this is a big deal. But nope, they're just perfect. And she's perfect, everyone loves her, she's pretty and smart and sweet and EVERYONE LOVES HER. There's not one moment of her being, say, bitter and resentful  that she's having to go through this, and again - THAT'S NORMAL. Just some normalcy is needed to balance the "Wow!" of what happened which is that they ended up falling in love, because that truly is not the norm and is extraordinary.

So I got curious and wondered what, if any, of this - beyond what we know - was actually true. Okay: he and his motorcycle club did arrange a fundraiser. They did end up several doors down from each other at the hospital and would take their walks together (that's mandatory post-surgery, they want you up walking ASAP, just FYI). But here's what I was looking for: this didn't happen at Christmas. He overheard a coworker talking about a sick cousin in January 2015. The surgery happened in March. They started dating, and in July he actually asked her father for permission to ask her to marry him. And THEN at Christmastime, he proposed to her, which was the very last scene in the movie.

I guess what I'm getting at is, why couldn't this have just been a regular Hallmark movie at a random time of year. They made the focus Christmas instead of it being on Heather and Chris. They had an opportunity to dig in a little deeper than they usually do, they were handed a wonderful love story that was filled with a major REAL trial, and they blew it. They swapped true love and loyalty, for romance and fluff. Yeah, love and romance are on the Venn diagram together, but they ain't the same thing.

This can't be a 5 because it was so schlocky, not to mention because there were zero character arcs, our two leads were the exact same people at the end as they were at the beginning. I can't in good conscience make it a 4 because of what I've said above. But the production value was fine, the acting was fine, the script dialogue-wise was fine, and the pacing was fine. IT WAS FINE. You may be into this, but I was greatly disappointed, especially after learning about the material with which they had to work. So I have to drop it from a 3 to a 2. Be warned, though - if you google, everyone rates it off the charts. [shrugs]

2/5 stars

The Christmas Note (Hallmark, 2015 - Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Leah Gibson - the former of whom you better know, and the latter of whom is incredibly familiar to me - and there's also several other familiar folks, namely the guy who plays the lawyer who is a great actor and should be in more stuff)

Now, even though this isn't based on a true story it is a good example of how to dig into tough situations and allow people to be imperfect, along with elements of lightness and sweetness and happiness. (The next one does this well, too, but hang on let's knock this one out.) Both our leads - and thank god on high this isn't a romance for once - are excellent actors with great chemistry, so no worries there. This *is* a love story, however. Because not all love is kissing and sex and romance.

One more time for the people in the back: meeting someone and growing to love them is not always about sexy times and kissy face and shmoopy romance.

So here's the scoop, and I'm not looking up their character names: Jamie-Lynn, along with her son (who, despite being a good lil' actor, is mildly annoying, but it's the script, not him) has moved back to her small hometown and gotten a little house to be closer to her parents, because her army hubby got nearly blowed-up overseas and he's in the hospital recuperating enough to where it's safe for him to travel home. Next door lives Leah who seems stand-offish at first but it's just because her life is basically work-home-work-home, wash-rinse-repeat. They start to get to know each other because this dude shows up and knocks on Jamie-Lynn's door and is like "I can't get hold of your neighbor but her mom's died and she needs to come clean out the apartment, like, yesterday." Jamie-Lynn goes with her to do it, being all - Nobody should have to go through this alone - and Leah accepts the offer, because this is gonna be hard, and double-hard because due to a falling out, she hadn't talked to her mom in like 10 years. They end up finding a letter her mom left her, and in part of it, she tells that before Leah was born she gave up a child for adoption. That's it. No other leads.

And after Jamie-Lynn and various folks around town encourage her, Leah decides she'll make effort to find her sibling, and Jamie-Lynn helps, and as they follow up on various things in mom's possessions, they get closer and closer, and end up becoming friends. There's no silly misunderstandings as excuse to farm emotion - there's just actual emotion because jesus, did you read what this plot is?! Nothing is smothered by shmoop and nobody is shoving Christmas spirit up your ass. Nobody's family is perfect (you know the scoop on Leah, and as far as Jamie-Lynn's, turns out husband may not make it home for Christmas, and her parents are divorced and slightly cantankerous), so again - it's keeping grounded in the midst of what's about to be a (kind've) fantastical ending.

Skip beyond the next divider if you don't want to be spoiled.

While they don't look alike, they do both have dark hair and dark eyes (I can't tell if maybe some dark hazel is happening, but their eyes ain't blue and brown is my point). And note the way they occasionally part their hair (far to one side), the way they'll occasionally move in sync (standing from chair, for instance), similar style purses and coats. You may've guessed the ending - and it was mentioned early on though not heavy-handed that Jamie-Lynn is adopted - but Jamie-Lynn is Leah's older birth half-sister. And of course, husband makes it home for Christmas.

The only thing - and I mean THE only, even the music is on point - I would've changed about this (but it's based on a book, so Hallmark couldn't, so I guess I'm critiquing the author) is that I'd have made it that the husband is her older half-brother. So that when he gets home on, say, Christmas Eve the lawyer could've shown up at the house being like "Sorry if I'm intruding but my contact at blah-blah-blah agency came through, I just read the documents, and you have to know this right away", etc. Otherwise, this movie is solid, top to bottom. I would give it a 4 vs a 5 because it is highly, highly, HIGHLY improbable that they'd be neighbors. Better for them to have met via work or at the coffee shop or something. But let me tell you, the thing that puts this over the top? In the scene where they find out the truth, they nail it. In lesser hands (including the lawyer actor), this would've failed and ruined the entire movie. Instead, it actually made me a little teary-eyed.

5/5 stars

The Santa Con (Lifetime, 2014 - the very stacked cast of: Barry Watson, Melissa Joan Hart, Melissa Sagemiller, Jaleel White, Scott Grimes, Wendy Williams, Alimi Ballard, John Ratzenberger - every single one of whom you'll recognize or know right off the bat)

Lifetime does this better than Hallmark, and tenfold: casting. And this is a drama vs. a romance, but they all nail it. It helps that the director was Melissa Joan Hart, and I'll put in my disclaimer here that I said last year....

I am slightly biased because Melissa is a friend of a friend (sister-in-law, specifically) and she is good people, a hard worker, and a smart cookie. She knows what roles she nails (sharp wit, no shmoop, strong chicks), so that’s what projects she and her mother choose (they produce most everything Melissa’s in), she stays in her lane, is my point, so if you agree with that assessment, then you’re good to go, this is classic Melissa Joan Hart fare.

Except this time? It's not exactly her typical fare, but it's just as solid. Here's the basic summary, and I'm not going too far down the road because with all those characters, as you can imagine, there's lots of back-and-forth as far as who's interacting with whom at a given point. So Barry plays a conman who finally landed himself in prison but he charmed the warden (Ratzenberger) and the board and gets parole. His goes to live with his sister (Hart) and we meet his fellow conman buddy (White), and the job he gets is part-time gig as a Santa at the mall (sister has a shop there). He is just going through the motions, and he promises this kid - the only bit of poor casting, IMO, but kid actors are six of one, half dozen the other - that his wish of his parents being back together will come true (Sagemiller and Grimes).

Problem: Grimes' character is an alcoholic, and the kid finally gets an eyeful and quits being pissed at his mom for the separation when dad shows up absolutely lit to the school play. In any event, Barry feels like he needs to make good on the promise somehow because he feels guilty and he insinuates himself into their lives (I am absolutely going blank how, sorry), and he at least wants to give Grimes a fighting chance at being reunited with his family (Sagemiller says she would totally take him back if he got the drinking issue taken care of because she genuinely loves him, she just can't tolerate that shit anymore). So Barry's doing things like helping Grimes get to AA and revealing that his boss at work took credit for his awesome idea (that, coupled with the drinking, is why he got fired if memory serves, I'm writing this post-movie).

There's one angle that irritates me - the issue with Grimes shouldn't have been alcoholism. That's a tough topic to tackle, and I don't know that a Lifetime Christmas movie is the place to do it. I didn't mind him coming drunk to the play, I think that would've been in line with him being, broadly, Mr. Fuck Up. Like losing his job - we learn that the reason is because his idea was stolen, but from her perspective it's part of his pattern. And maybe he kept missing things he'd promised to do with the kid. Whatever, fill in all those blanks. In addition, it irks me that Sagemiller's romantic choices here are a felon and an alcoholic. Are all felons bad? No. Are all alcoholics bad? No. Because people vary. My point is, both of their lives are messy at this moment and they need to work on themselves before involving another person and her kid. Barry's also been lying to her this whole time, and regardless of the good intentions (and that's debatable, his reasons, at one point), it's still a bunch of deception.

But I have to give credit where credit's due. It's a very original plot, both the writer and Hart did a great job balancing it out and keeping it streamlined to the degree that they could, and, again, I cannot praise the casting enough. Because there is a distinct lack of shmoop, and because there's some humor, and because the pacing was on point, and because I think it maybe hit 2 squares on the card if that, I deem this not even close to being a waste of your time. Like I say, there's just that thing that I feel like could've been better, but it's kind've a big thing, so I gotta ding for it. I'll say this, though: seeing Urkel and Sabrina flirt cures a lot of ails.

4/5 stars

The Perfect Christmas Present (Hallmark, 2017 - Sam Page, who I recognize, and a gal called Tara Holt, whose parents should be popped upside the head for naming their child Terre Haute; I mean, unless they've got a real hard-on for Indiana, in which case you do you)

She's from Chicago (as in, grew up there) but then her mom moved them to L.A. (after dad died, so check dead parent box), but she's moved back to establish a charity there, and also because boyfriend lives there (I missed how they got together if she lived across the country). She wants to hold a charity event, and he helps arrange for a former client's historic home to be used for free. Pertinent info: he's essentially a personal shopper but his specialty is figuring out the perfect gif t for people (hence the subtle title ::sigh::) by getting to know them really well. My presumption is this usually happens by targeted questioning about said person via the client, the more obscure stuff, but I'm writing this after the fact so I can't be sure. But I get the impression it usually isn't - really, it can't be - direct interaction with the person themselves, because the surprise would be ruined. Unless he goes around being a lying liar all the time, and if there was a person - especially at the behest of a loved one - who integrated themselves into my life under false pretenses (read: anything other than they enjoy my company, I intrigue them, etc.) I would be both absolutely livid and absolutely crushed. We'll come back to this.

Side note: Let me tell you right now, re: former client - I love this chick, she is the highlight of the movie, the snark is real with her, she's upfront about the fact she's into our lead male, did I mention she's snarky? I liked her the minute she came on the screen, continued to like her up until her last scene (spoiler: no she's not a villain, she's just snark and if you don't like it, piss off).

Back to plot: basically, that's the "in" - she doesn't know that boyfriend hired him to figure out perfect present, all she knows is that this is boyfriend's old fraternity buddy who's a make-things-happen, got-connections-all-over sort of guy. And he's happy to help with the event, because that means he can use the opportunity of them working together to get info on her and essentially profile her - like for instance, when they were touring that house, when in kitchen, she snitches a macaroon (or one of those fat almond cookies from wedding showers with which I have a love-hate relationship), he makes a quick note of "sweet tooth".

Also to know, the relationship between her and boyfriend is struggling a little, so that's why he's going to the extra effort, and - spoiler alert - as I'm sure you've guessed he gets the shaft for his trouble. He's an okay guy, I guess, and I do give them props for not making him this complete dickhole or something, but with that comes the issue that you kinda feel shitty for him. On the other hand, it's only been a year and he's jonesing to get married and have kids, and she's like "Whooooaaaa". While I'm here, though, talking about secondary characters, I also have to shout out best friend who she's Skyping with off-and-on, she is dynamic and runs any scene they're in, every line is delivered realistically and casually, you feel like you're talking with a person in real life. Having said that? This is a weird, unneeded gimmick. Matter of fact, the character isn't needed at all, but if it had to be done then they should've just had her there, as the partner in the charity.

Regarding casting: it's cool that Terre Haute went into acting because she has these big, expressive eyes and I think it helps because she's not got an "it", if that makes any sense - as opposed to the ladies I mentioned above, there's not a dynamic presence, at least in this she's easily forgettable. Regardless of her character and dialogue, it's delivery that sells it, and while there's inflection and facial expressions (she's not flat, not at all), it still smacks of her just delivering lines. And that's fine! There's a need for actors who are on it and that the studio gets what they pay for, that they do what they're hired to do. My point is, she's serviceable and I think in a meaty role she could step up. He's great but also only serviceable in this particular movie, and I honestly don't know what else these two could've done - while the idea of the story is decently creative (though event planner - which he essentially is - has been done, and done better), it plays out as pretty much how you'd think. I'm typing this as I'm about an hour in, and here's my guess: Yes, she'll end up falling for him but she'll also be pissed when she finds out that he's been collecting facts on her, regardless of the reason. Also I predict that in rich gal's moves to get dude, she'll be the one to go "You know that he's stuck around because he's fallen for you, right? That this ain't about the gift anymore?" and be the one to give her a kick in the. At least, that's what I'd write.

Because the alternative is actually realistic, which is that she says what I said above: you ingratiated yourself under false pretenses, when we started having feelings for each other - or at minimum when we started being friends - you should've told boyfriend you couldn't help with the present anymore, and told me the truth. Period. End of story.

I'll leave it here, I think. Watch if you want to see how it ends - not that it matters, of course she ends up with him. And I gotta go with my gut, here, even though this doesn't hit a ton of bingo squares, not at all, but the issue is it's.... well, it's not dragging, the pace is decent, it's just.... well, it's boring. It's *shrug*. It's meh. There's just no spark to it. I can't justify giving it a "Don't miss this one!" type of rating. It's a "Maybe you'll enjoy it", "Not entirely a waste of time" sort of jam. Which makes me wonder why I wrote so much on this.... eh, I'm avoiding housework.

3/5 stars

Northern Lights of Christmas (Hallmark, 2018 - Ashley Williams, and that's the only cast that matters... besides, won't recognize anyone else)

Let it be said that anything with Ashley Williams, I'm giving a minimum of 3 stars. That's the lowest it can possibly get, merely due to her presence. She's a great actress, and I don't just mean by Hallmark standards, she should be in all the things, that's how magnetic and scene-stealing she is. No, I'm not her cousin or something. I've just yet to dislike her in anything I've seen her in, she even lit up the screen in How I Met Your Mother which going up against Alyson Hannigan and Cobie Smulders and Jason Segel (I don't mention the guy that played Ted because beyond not liking the character, I will never understand that casting).

Now, stay with me, here. Because this is one of the more ridiculous summaries on one of these things (and by "things" I mean Hallmark and/or Lifetime Christmas movies, AND I MEAN IT WITH LOVE OF COURSE) that I've seen. *clears throat*

"Zoey has been working hard to own her own plane but everything changes when she inherits a reindeer farm."

If you're anything like me, my What The Fuck radar shot right up. The story is she's left a reindeer farm/ranch by the old man who taught her how to fly who has, obviously, died. And by "farm/ranch", I mean 2 reindeer and y'all, again, huge props when Hallmark bothers to have real animals on these farms and ranches they make their settings, double points when the characters interact with them. So by flying, they mean Cessna-type planes, though we're about 25 minutes in and I've seen no plane. Anyway, she lives in Seattle now (our setting is Alaska) and is a commercial pilot but as summary says, she wants her own. For crop dusting? I have no idea why, they don't really say (or haven't yet) if it's for personal reasons or a new career venture.

Ashley - and I won't be calling her by her character's name in any of these, get used to it - meets the live-in handyman/animal tender/etc. person who is a real pill. Like, he's not exactly rude but I'd just call him brusque and blunt. He initially wants to quit even though he's paid through the winter, but she convinces him to say explaining she needs him to be a partner of sorts, help her decide who she should sell the place to. Ashley grows on him when he sees that even though she had to move away, she genuinely cared about Gus and his wife (the dude who died and his wife who had died prior) and the farm/ranch (they call it both dunno why I think ranch suits better) and that she's a hard worker.

Gus and wife were beloved by the town, and they did it up right at Christmas - part of the barn where the reindeer aren't chillin' is filled with decorations, most notably a sleigh, and it's not lost on me that they're way up north, there's reindeer, there's that sleigh, and he taught her to fly. I mean, "Gus" and not "Kris" or "Nick", but we'll see where this is going. Oh, also? Wife had a box of recipes that Ashley's best friend (whose hubby is the son of the cranky man who owns the local hang-out diner, Americana-type restaurant in town, the menu of which she's always trying to nudge him to add new things) was dying in particular to find a certain cookie recipe that everybody in town loved because she's always wanted to know how to make them. Sounds like Mrs. You-Know-Who To Me. But again, not enough info, I'm writing this as I go, but I tell you I almost don't want it to turn out as that, I like the inference much better. May dock a star if they go full-court-press You Know Who.

I'm eating homemade soup for breakfast because it's getting really nippy here, and there's no oatmeal. I just felt the need to share this with you. I mean, it's hella awesome soup, I'm a good cook. I heated it up during the part where she's going around telling people she's doing up the old Christmas festival like it used to be, the one Gus and wife would host at the ranch. Her angle is, she wants to attract the right sort of people as buyers, people who get the small town mentality and want to keep the ranch essentially the way it is, and people are pumped and excited about the booths they'll have and the food and the post-fair barn dance, and I got bored. Not painfully bored, just wishing-they'd-speed-this-up bored. Put it this way: I was able to make coffee and walk the dog and flip the stove on and heat up said soup whilst only needing to pop in to look at the TV to make sure I hadn't missed something. I hadn't. I get it's necessary, I just think it could've been montaged instead of introducing us to a bunch of side characters by name and hearing what they're gonna do, all we need is showing us their faces during montage, then we'll see them and what they're doing at the fair. Because they're inconsequential to the story. This is classic Hallmark padding runtime when it's simply not needed, not everything has to take up a 2 hour time slot.

Hey, if you want good soup, go on and cook the veg you'll be adding a little more than halfway, and *then* add it to your base, which should consist of some water, yeah, but either beef broth or chicken broth (or I guess veg broth, but gross), your choice, and the other trick is to set it on low and go about your day, homemade soup's better when left to do its own thing over time. I've digressed.

Ah, charter flights. That's what she plans on doing. She mentions it because she's calculating how much she's invested getting stuff up to speed and cost of festival. We've still yet to see Gus' plane. Also, I don't care much for the leading man, he's Dollar Store Brett Dalton (Ward from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) and if you're familiar with Dalton, I'm telling you that all you'll be thinking is "Damn, Brett Dalton would've cleaned up in this role", because this dude's a bit flat. Dalton's been in one of these cheese Christmas movies, too, so the chance is there; matter of fact, he should be either above or below this in one of the other recently reviewed. I can't be bothered to look for the title. None of this matters, moving on.

We see them ride his motorcycle together to go out to the local airport - mainly cargo and quick charters and such - and wouldn't ya know it, the dude that owns/runs it is retiring at the end of the month. Hmmm, wonder where that's going. And I also wonder if this is where the plane Gus flew came from, if he picked up work there, too. If it's been said, I've missed it. Anyway, owner needed her because his dude is sick or something and he says it's 6 towns, mail delivery gig, she is jazzed because as she says "This is the longest I've been on the ground in a long time". Our co-lead doesn't like to fly but he does like to take pictures, so that's how she sells him on coming with her to deliver the stuff.

Kinda like You-Know-Who. Ahem.

Kudos to Hallmark for (a) not going with shitty FX folks, re: the greenscreen for when they're in the cockpit, and (b) for some nice aerial shots of somebody flying a plane. The aurora/northern lights effect also ain't bad. I mean, if you've seen photos of it, it almost looks fake anyway because it's one of those too-good-to-be-true natural occurrences that shouldn't be that vivid. It's like reverse of animal camouflage, I'm thinking specifically of octopi (apparently you can say octopuses now and it's acceptable, but it's not in this house) and if you've not seen that, get yourself to You Tube and get ready to be shocked at those undersea aliens. We've (okay I've) digressed again.

There's a moment of her reminiscing about Gus, but it's short, and this is when our leading dude learns she's gonna be going to Florida to be with her parents for Christmas, and I like this for two reasons: one, these pseudo-dead parents have only been brought up once in a sorrowful way, people have been focused on remembering the good times, and second, she's not leaving because she gives no shits about Christmas and is gradually learning to love it or the usual garbage, nor is she being called away for some career-related thing, it's a legit, understandable reason. Neither of those are getting a bingo square, because even though they may skirt the line, they're being done well.

All right, I'm not going to tell you the ending, because you should put it on your list. As whack-a-doo as the summary has it sounding, they make it work. So because of good casting and a solid script and a unique premise and tied up something in a great way (and because I got ever-so-slightly teary-eyed at one point shut up), this one gets a score of....

4/5 stars

Here’s your 4-and-5 stars so far (in no particular order):

Trading Christmas - 5/5 stars Christmas In The Air - 5/5 stars Mingle All The Way - 5/5 stars The Christmas Card - 5/5 stars The Christmas Note - 5/5 stars Fir Crazy - 4/5 stars Small Town Christmas - 4/5 stars Switched For Christmas - 4/5 stars The Christmas Contract - 4/5 stars Rocky Mountain Christmas - 4/5 stars Christmas A La Mode - 4/5 stars Northern Lights of Christmas - 4/5 stars The Santa Con - 4/5 stars

#5

Christmas A La Mode (Lifetime, 2019 - Katie Leclerc who I've never seen before in my life but who is quite good in this, and  Ryan Cooper who is really hot depending on the angle, that's the best way I can explain it)

Let me be clear: the *only* reason I am watching this is for y'all. Well, and I'm mending dog toys and need something to semi-stimulate my brain. The title is incredibly off-putting, it's too sweet right out of the gate. But I shall give it a chance.

Your basics are that a dairy farm was left to two sisters by their deceased father and the farm's been in the fam for several generations. Older sister has long since been in the city and sounds like she's some sort of real estate flipper (acquisition, buff up, then sell) because she and her partner, Sometimes Hot Guy (who frequently drops his American accent), are going to sell the farm to a dairy corporation... well, that's what we're told. Put a pin in that, shiftiness comes up later unnecessarily. Anyway, the agreement has a provision that one sister can buy out the other's shares and fully own, so little sis has to raise a hefty six figures in a short amount of time. Older sis is a major dick; having said that, the farm has been circling the drain for awhile now, so she ain't totally out of line.

The summary I saw neglects to mention that they also own an ice cream parlor in town that's typically closed during the winter because of course it is. But, I mean, Baskin Robbins and fro-yo joints and Ben & Jerry's stay open year-round, and yup they bank in hotter months, but why not keep making money? Throwing out stock over, what, 4 months of slow time? Is just stupid. No wonder they're going under. But all right, we'll let that go. Anyhow, her plan is to get some money via opening the ice cream parlor and doing a little contest for people to submit their best Christmas-themed flavors, and she'll whip 'em up, people can try them, then vote on the winner and the winner gets a year of free ice cream. She also does a crowd-funding site.

The summary also neglects to mention (and this is okay, it's supposed to be a plot "oooh") that business partner Sometimes Hot Guy is from the family who is essentially like Mrs. Fields or some shit. So there's this cute moment where her co-worker friend is like - You know, now that we are aware of this, we don't really need his recipe (he won't - and I guess, legally, can't - give it to her), we can just get them from the store. Yeah, co-worker. Yeah. But we can't have pie-baking scenes where she wipes flour off his cheek if they aren't in the same room together.

Oops, left out that part: the killer flavor is this pie he made for her mom mixed in with their vanilla and they call it, fuck my life, Christmas A La Mode.

Compliment: This actress is likely average size IRL (camera adding pounds and all, plus wardrobe didn't do her any favors on her lower half) but I mean in terms of body shape? She's built like a farm girl, she's got actual thighs and rosy, round cheeks, she's not some coathanger in skinny jeans up in there. I am applauding casting department wholeheartedly.... though they whiffed in that she and sis look *nothing* alike. Sis is discount Eva Green, and mom and leading lady are redheads. C'mon casting, just the hair color, that's all we're asking.

Issue: She's a really good actress, I was very pleasantly surprised. But initially there's something slightly juvenile about how she's playing this - "this" being determined to save the farm. She's kinda petulant and refusing to accept reality - and, I mean, maybe they save the farm now but with a disinterested sibling and a mother that's getting older, unless she cranks out some babies (read: farm hands) like, yesterday, I'm not quite sure how this is gonna be sustainable long-term.  (Granted she'll end up with incredibly wealthy pie guy, but I'm saying if she's a business owner, this is something she needs to learn.)

I'll tell ya this, talking about characterization, the gal playing the sister can flip a switch and play the cunt card like a dream, she's a scene-stealer, though my issue here is we have zero background on why she's ice queen about the farm save a mention that when they were little, she was always dying to leave farm life and go to the city. Right, fine, lots of farm kids I am sure feel this way, but why the vitriol? Why not sit down and be kind and explain the financial situation to her mom? Even if little sis is being a brat, why wouldn't she be kind to her mother? I'm fine with her being Bitchy Mc Cuntface, I just wanna know why.

Continuing from above about the pie - it's not just once, he tells her three separate times, and one of them vehemently (and then a follow-up of "You can't tell ANYBODY where these pies came from, say you found the recipe online or whatever") that he ain't telling her the recipe so she can make it herself. Which, I suspect this is gonna come back to bite her in the ass if it's not her original recipe. And it should be - anything they come up with needs to be theirs or else they owe $$$ to whatever the featured product is in a given flavor. So like, early on one of the flavors is Christmas Kiss and she comments that she unwrapped all the Hershey's kisses herself. Well sugarsnap I hope you have some sort of blanket licensing agreement because that ain't cool. You can buy other company's ingredients, of course, but when it's the core of it, the key feature of it, you're in trouble. That's why if a product's "cincher" revolves specifically around another company's product, it'll be noted clearly with a "C" copyright or "TM" or whatever, because that company is - and should be - getting a kick off the profits.

I bring this up because this is an excellent opportunity for a plot point - unless they partner with the pie company or get direct permission (and no, random son saying it's cool matters nothing to a board of directors) then they're out of line. An interesting storyline would be if sister finds out and threatens her that she has to stop or it's gonna mean big legal probs for Sometimes Hot Guy so if she doesn't want that, needs to let sis sell the farm. Then of course Sometimes Hot Guy comes in and says "Hey meet my dad, he owns the company and not only does he give permission but he's investing by way of making up the difference of whatever sum's left over so she can buy you out, Dollar Store Eva Green."  They've not given us any real reason to empathize with our villain of the story so go whole hog, keep her the villain.

All in all, we've ticked a good handful of squares, but we're not in danger zone, miraculously. And even though it ticked the farm box, I have to give compliments that for once one of these stories involving a farm has actual animals shown and the characters interacting with them. The side friend character is also fantastic, I wish I could see her in more stuff, she was great. I know I was nitpicky about the stuff I didn't like (and my resolution is close to the ballpark of what they end up doing.... my tweak is more interesting #humbly), so overall my non-nitpicky complaints are that (a) Sometimes Hot Guy is hit-or-miss with his acting, and (b) the ending scene is fine but they tack on this weird post-end scene that completely takes you out of the moment and is wholly unneeded. But because this was a creative attempt at a unique plot and - above all - our leading lady sells the shit out of it, the score is.....

4/5 stars

Rocky Mountain Christmas (Hallmark, 2017 - Lindy Booth who is great across the board, Kristoffer Polaha who I swear I've seen in something non-Hallmark but I'm not looking it up, and Treat Williams who is and has always been a solid actor)

Let's get the tropey-ness out the way: the bingo boxes this ticks are as follows - family home in danger of being lost; character(s) not really into Christmas for reasons; town festival/celebration; dead parent(s); somebody's famous; somebody owns a ranch; playing in the snow; I stopped counting but I think that’s all.

Lindy is an interior designer and is back home on the horse ranch not only because she had a bad breakup that was really public (a Zuckerberg-esque computer dude who broke up with her for an actress) but it's good because also turns out uncle (who, with his wife, raised her and brother after their parents basically dumped them) has been growing increasingly bummed missing his wife who died recently, and he's gonna sell the ranch. Now this famous dude shows up (I refuse to type "Kristoffer" continuously) and he wants to stay at the ranch and learn the life and horses and whatever for an upcoming movie role, and uncle and brother are actually cool with it even though she's all "Ehhhh..." understandably. But props to them, they do it right, he's put to work and has to stay in the bunk house and the whole nine yards, they ain't just having him follow them and observe or whatever.

She also makes it part of the deal that he's gonna help her finish getting the Christmas parade organized - and by the way, this isn't because she's a Christmas fanatic, it's because her aunt did it every year and she's doing it in her stead. And he is good natured about it, and is happily taking pictures with fans while they're out running errands and afterwards giving them flyers and being like "Here's a couple more, share with friends, you better come!" etc., and basically using his celebrity for good - he also combos it with getting donations at the same time when he gives the streetside bell-ringing Santa a coffee break,  and I genuinely liked this little touch, these are the touches that these canned movies miss that endear us to characters by showing us who they are, not telling us who they are.

The only part that really made me roll my eyes hard in terms of plot is that Lindy's brother (and good casting here, they click really well and are believable as bro and sis) happens to have dreams of being a Hollywood stuntman in the field of horses. Oh and also, their mom was an actress (not Hollywood, I mean working actress). It's just a little too much, we got the point that she's meh on Hollywood types given what she just went through, and the second you hear about brother's deal it's like "Yup, Actor Dude's gonna learn cool shit from him and then he'll get him work on the upcoming movie." I mean, duh. It's overkill. It's fine if it was like - Hey you have taught me so much, have you ever thought about trying to be a stuntman? I'd recommend you, etc. And it was definitely unneeded for the mom part. It's like: we got it. Really. And the songs used (2 if memory serves) are grating, to me, at least but you may disagree.

Otherwise, this is a unique story to my knowledge and the production value is good, and kudos to them for doing a ranch vs. a tree or poinsettia farm, and they actually got horses and had the actors riding/interacting with them - some of these other movies say they're a farm and there's not an animal to be seen and it's fucking weird. So lotsa props in this respect. Also great is that the rando pseudo-girlfriend is actually just a nice person, she's not fake, though I will say this part of the plot is hamfisted and not needed, it just served as a tiny divide between them, that she's shown up wanting to have a real relationship with him (it was a publicity thing, them being together), when the divide of her being gunshy about being with a celebrity was already there, it was fine, the writers didn't need to add anything else. (And also, she seems to care not one flip that he's spending more time with Lindy than herself, and on top of that she is way more into the brother anyway. ???? Ya got me.)

On the whole, this one's really good, it's not a waste of your time, most all the dialogue felt natural and even if shaky it was delivered naturally, everybody's acting is solid across the board, he's not a douche, she's not a bitch, and most importantly your two romantic leads have chemistry, and they got to know each other gradually, and she wasn't all starstruck so if you're into this particular trope and wanna see it done well, then check this one out.

4/5 stars

Matchmaker Santa (Hallmark, 2012 - Lacey Chabert, two basic bitch white dudes, an old man playing Santa who can't act, two really good character actresses who've each been in a lot of stuff, Florence Henderson who I just love seeing in anything, and John Ratzenberger who played Cliff on Cheers and who is a breath of fresh air in this stupidity)

Yup, stupidity. You heard me. This is somehow about the third time I've caught it, so I'm giving in. Boy howdy, does it suck.

Surface area irritation: Everybody's hair is from the 90s. I hated 80s hair but at least it had distinct style; the style of 90s was nobody had any idea what the hell they were doing, particularly when it came to styling and color. Our lead guy's haircut doesn't suit him and is too gelled and sticky-outy in the front (and second lead male, the cut suits him but same with gel and purposeful cowlick look), then Lacey's looks like Helen Keller did the color (at least when she's standing in certain light).

Here's some summary according to googlings because I'm not taking the effort:

As a little girl, Melanie Hogan wished to find her own Prince Charming, just like her parents found true love. Now an adult, Melanie is running her own bakery and dating a handsome CEO, Justin. Although things seem perfect when Justin asks Melanie to spend the holidays together at his beautiful lake house upstate, and meet his mother, Melanie finds herself spending more time with Justin's best friend and loyal assistant, Dean, who just might be harboring a secret crush on her. When complications arise that throw Melanie and Dean together over the holiday, will the two realize they're meant to be?

They get thrown together because best bud went to pick her up from airport, they run into Santa along the way and give him a ride, the car breaks down in a little town that's en route back to the lake so they stay the night. They then have to share a room :::sigh::: And of course as movie goes on, boyfriend is more concerned about anything but her though I will say he's not acting particularly dickish, it's more that he invited her for a romantic evening then planned this party to essentially introduce himself to the board of directors and also to spring introducing her to his (difficult, bitchy) mom all in the same weekend and didn't bother to tell her that the plans had changed. Also in a convoluted turn, his high school girlfriend is the daughter of the head of the board and his mom absolutely loves her, and honestly? She's better suited for him than ol' Lacey is anyway, they click better.

Lacey Chabert, IMO, is not a good actress because she plays the same character in everything she's in (excepting Gretchen Weiners in Mean Girls), and that character is - I have to assume - Lacey Chabert. I mean she's fine in the sense of she isn't a talking stick, there's tone and inflection and actual facial expressions and all that, I'm saying that with the exception of Mean Girls I've never not been like "Yeah that's Lacey Chabert", I've never forgotten it's her. But I mean at least people know what they're gonna get when they hire her. Thing is, I've seen her in several of these movies now and I gotta say, if she's had chemistry with *any* of her male leads, I've yet to notice.

Bottom line: this story is just dumb. It's basic. There's nothing creative or noteworthy about it. Person makes Christmas (or birthday or falling star or New Year's or what-fuck-ever) wish when they were little and now it's coming true, and here comes romance. We've seen this and iterations of this a thousand times. Add in tropes, stir, bake at 350 til gold and bubbly. It is obvious nobody tried - except the Santa man, he tried, but he's ill-cast so oh, well. Flo Henderson and Ratzenberger ain't in it enough to help it skate by on charm. The pacing is bad, too, at an hour in we've only just gotten to the hotel.

Let me give you an example of how stupid this movie is: When boyfriend and old prom date are walking outside to leave to take her car to go pick them up from small town (where, by the way, they are presently dressed as elves and helping Santa I shit you not), glitter-shiny-whoosh-fade-in, it's a grizzly bear by the car growling, because ooooooh Christmas magic. I'm not against "magic" in these movies but can we be a little more subtle? I have no idea how the quality/old school actors got roped into this trash.

Also? If you make it to the end? The final scene is possibly one of the worst, most ridiculous, most implausible (yes, even for this movie) things I've ever witnessed in these movies. It gets a star for the good side character casting. 

1/5 stars

A Crown For Christmas (Hallmark, 2015 - Danica McKellar, other people)

The plot's what you think, re: see title.  He's a king, she's the nanny to precocious princess child. They have negative levels of chemistry, it's that bad.

As discussed last year, something's happened in the time since Wonder Years, and Danica McKellar absolutely positively cannot act. There was one exception (again, see last year) but that's one out of like, a half-dozen of these Christmas movies I've seen - or have *tried* to see - with her in them. 

This movie isn't worth a write-up, it's seriously that bad. The kid does remind me of a young Lindsay Lohan circa Parent Trap, and the guy playing the king is an okay actor. Problem is, the character of the king is a real bitch pussy. I hate this movie, even the sets and costumes look cheap. Ugh. Seriously, don't bother, it is garbage. 

0/5 stars

The Christmas Contract (Lifetime, 2018 - Hilarie Burton, Dannnnnnneeeeeeeeeel Ackles guest starring botox, a dude called Robert Buckley who seems familiar, apparently fourteen other people from an old-ass teen show called One Tree Hill which I never watched, Cheryl Ladd, Bruce Boxleitner, and Jason London who you will not recognize even a little, and you'll see this movie and think I'm wrong, and I'm not wrong, I swear it's Jason London, he's the brother in law, look it up)

I avoided this one last year for Reasons, but upon catching it again, it cannot be denied.

First, the ticked boxes: there's a Christmas festival. Pretend to be my boyfriend. Lots of Christmas activities. Someone is a lawyer. Someone is an author. Character demonstrates a talent.

Basically dude agrees to go with Hilarie back home and act like her boyfriend - they literally sign a literal contract - and while he's at it, he's supposed to be working on a ghostwriting assignment about romance wherein he's given a list of plot points and told that the characters have to tick off every item on the list. But he feels a little lost about how the scenes should play out so he starts sneaksy playing them out with Burton under the guise of "Hey we need to make this look good for everyone".  There's an ex boyfriend who reveals the plan, which, you know, whatever, by this point they're genuinely into each other, but it's when she finds out that he's essentially using her for a book plot, she understandably gets pissed.

I will give 'em this: no one went bugfuck crazy with affecting super thick Creole accents or something. And minus Ackles and some of the randoms (Ackles in particular cannot act in a natural manner to the point it's distracting in any given scene), everybody can act. Burton especially deserves to be in higher caliber stuff. And she and the lead dude have solid chemistry. She has chemistry with everybody, honestly, she's just a good actor, period. Well, at least in this, it's not like I've seen her in tons of stuff. But I recall liking her in White Collar. Okay, I digress.

Irksome is that music is a featured artist so I don't know if this is another friend of theirs from that old show, or something? If so then hey, meta. But his music plays a couple times, then they even have him in person at the festival or whatever it is, and we get to hear him sing "live" and so that all takes up precious minutes we'll never get back. I mean, he can carry a tune and all, it's just that it's basic bitch music. And he actually pimps his album, it's awkward. Now, I will say the score itself though is overall great, really a step up from the usual fare in these movies. They do have a moment where she is supposedly playing fiddle and it looks horrible. I don't care if she can play in real life (I'm not looking it up), the way it was filmed, then, made it look as if she can't, and I don't know why they did this, it was completely unnecessary.

There's some schlock (especially the end), and family's just a hair too far on the shmoop side, but it's not intolerable. Also good is that Ackles' screentime is limited. I can't express enough what a poor actor she is, but again, as I've said about others, this is a prime example: if you dream of becoming an actor, someone has hired this person and therefore you can get hired, too. Here's the thing: it is such a shitty plot, so lazy. This is one of the granddaddies of all the tropes. I mean, the official summary doesn't mince words--- "It’s Jolie’s first time going back home to Louisiana since her devastating break up with Foster . Seeing him is inevitable as their parents run the town’s annual Christmas Market together, but when she discovers Foster is bringing home a new girlfriend, Jolie cannot bear the thought of going home alone and seeing them together." ---so you can't say you didn't know what you were getting into.

But.

And I can't believe I'm saying this.

Minus a slightly stilted kick-off the pace is even, the chemistry of the leads (+ with her family) is there, they elevate some dialogue that in other hands could've been clunky, we've got a unique setting that isn't fucking Vermont and snowing (blessedly this means we have no awkward snowball fights and snowman making and pine tree cutting down and snow angel making and ice skating), they show her making hot chocolate but there's no big gingerbread cookie making scene so that's refreshing, and nobody is like coked-up elves about Christmas, they dig it, they run a fair at this time of year, but no one's foaming at the mouth over it.

I do have to dock it stars because of the music thing and because of the premise of it - we could've gotten to this same place differently, re: these 2 people who don't really like each other needing something that the other can provide without it having to do with the chick being insecure over another guy. On the other hand? Burton doesn't play it insecure, she is not weepy or looking longingly at the ex or what-have-you, she's actually dodging him for the most part. Because of that, I'll give a star back. And if they'd not done the hamfisted music thing with that guy it'd probs be 5. In any event, the ending was pretty damned good and creative.

4/5 stars

Here’s your 4-and-5 stars so far (in no particular order):

Trading Christmas - 5/5 stars Christmas In The Air - 5/5 stars Mingle All The Way - 5/5 stars The Christmas Card - 5/5 stars Fir Crazy - 4/5 stars Small Town Christmas - 4/5 stars Switched For Christmas - 4/5 stars The Christmas Contract - 4/5 stars Rocky Mountain Christmas - 4/5 stars Christmas A La Mode - 4/5 stars

#4

Fir Crazy (Hallmark, 2013 - Eric Johnson and Sarah Lancaster, both of whom I've liked in non-Hallmark stuff and both of whom are good actors, and Colin Mochrie who is typically a delight but is miscast here)

I could've sworn we did this one last year but nope.  Anyway, out of the gate we're kickin' it on the bingo card: somebody isn't into Christmas, family owns a tree farm, family business in danger of being lost, precocious children - but it doesn't tick too terribly many.

So she gets laid off from her big city exec job but it is kind've fortuitous because her parents' prime time for the family business is upon the horizon, because Christmas, and because they have a tree farm upstate (we're in NYC). Since she's got free time, she calls a headhunter and is like "Holla when shit comes up" (a side plot we don't need, as well as smarmy ex-boyfriend, neither were needed, just have her lost job), as she has to run the tree lot in the city this year because for some reason the parents can't, I forget why, so it's basically her and her cousin (who is great) trading off staying nights in the trailer they've got parked next to this sidewalk area that the fam has had an agreement with the city to rent for a bazillionty years now.

Okay, so, the store next to where the sidewalk area is, is some accessories-furniture-type thing (Restoration Hardware-esque, but more expensive, but looks cheaper) and the owner is a real Scrooge. That's Mochrie's role, which is why I say he's miscast, and it's a shame. He should've been allowed to be in a fun role because I think the intent was for his character to be snarky-funny but it's just coming off as obnoxious, so it's not fun (though of course, this is a Hallmark movie, so he un-Scrooges by the end). But as far as good characters - there is this one little girl who is a hoot and the barista had me chuckle once, too.  Then we meet this great couple who bounce off each other well and are just completely wonderful and they come in at about 45 til the end and it's a shame they weren't utilized more. Actually all the side characters are great, from the homeless man who they hire to the manager of the store to the customers.

And your leads click, both in ease of convo and believability that they could be romantic, though only to about the 90% mark - I could see them as best friends more (it's one of the poorer kisses I've seen in romance movies, eeeek), but both are charming and likable and nothing is shmoopy. Seriously, there's no barfy shmoop in this movie, there's sweetness and sincerity. Plus, even though it's tree farm trope, this is creative. It's putting them smack in the middle of NYC instead of everybody being upstate. I say that to say, it's a mix of hometown (a "forest" as it were) and the city (though we're not subjected to the typical ice skating at Central Park and the like) and hey, I'm even gonna give it props for the title being only mildly eye-roll cutesy and ::gasp!!:: not having "Christmas" or "tree" in it.

Guys, this one's solid. The only thing that's not smooth is the store owner being a PITA angle, so it gets a touch grating, like, you know what's coming so you're more than ready for them to get on with it, but that's really the only thing that is a hitch in the pacing, otherwise this one is worth your time.

4/5 stars

The Nine Lives of Christmas (Hallmark, 2014 - Brandon Routh, Kimberley Sustad)

Official Summary: 

Fireman Zachary Stone (Routh) is a confirmed bachelor who doesn’t believe in love or commitment. When a stray tabby cat named Ambrose shows up at his door, Zachary takes him in and slowly starts to see that a little companionship might not be so bad after all. Zachary’s commitment to solitude is further challenged when he meets Marilee (Sustad), an animal lover and veterinary student who teaches Zachary how to care for his new feline roommate.

Nope.

1/5 stars, don't even need to see it, and that 1 star is because Brandon Routh is awesome

Welcome To Christmas (Hallmark, 2018 - Jennifer Finnigan, Eric Mabius - both of whom I recognize from non-Hallmark stuff)

So, Christmas is the name of the town.

We're getting fucked, just right out of the gate. ::sigh::

Squares ticked: town in danger of being lost, dead parent, children, somebody's not into Christmas (the holiday, not the town), celebration/festival in town. shmoopy activities, main characters sing carols, etc.

All right, she's a real estate something-or-other who's there to scope out the joint for development purposes. They tell the town everything will be the same, just that they'll have a ski resort and it will bolster income. However, towards the end, she discovers the firm does want to modernize the town, and blah blah blah you know where this is going.

I thought of, right off the top of my head, three other movies with this plot, one of which we just covered in the last entry.

He is the handsome sheriff with the dead wife and two adorable daughters who, of course, immediately take to her. I mean, this is just basic bitch shit, there is nothing original whatsoever about any of this. The leads have chemistry and both are good actors. Matter of fact I really like Mabius, he is talented and haaaaaandsome, I wish he were the lead in all these.

It's the standard fare, you may like it, but otherwise it's fine background noise. Other than an intolerable song at about the 20 'til mark. * cringe *

3/5 stars

Switched For Christmas (Hallmark, 2017 - Candace Cameron Bure x 2, Eion Bailey and Mark Deklin, both of whom you'll recognize)

Mentioned this last year but for whatever reason didn't go over it. Again, and I'll keep saying it - no matter how shitty the script, Candace elevates everything she's in, but in this case the script ain't shitty, it's actually a solid premise, however fantastical. Chris and Kate (both Candace, of course) are identical twins and they decide to switch places for Christmas. Several people are in on the secret - Chris has 2 older (teen/pre-teen) kids and they are pretending to be her niece and nephew around the dude who becomes her romantic interest because... reasons? I'm not certain. But their dad also knows the scoop, which I actually liked because there ain't no way any of those 3 would've been fooled so it was - shockingly for Hallmark movie - sensible.

Here's Hallmark's summary that tells more about why they did it:

"Just because they are identical does not mean these twins even like each other. Estranged twin sisters get together for an obligatory pre-Christmas lunch, a year after their mother's death. Both women are unhappy and frustrated with their own lives. Though not close, each is envious of the other's life. What's a twin to do but take advantage of this? And who would be the wiser? They do what any identical twins in need of new outlooks would do: they swap lives until Christmas Day, and by doing so, each woman discovers the true meaning of her life and gains a deeper perspective and appreciation for what she already had."

They each fall for somebody, and the dudes in turn fall for them, but the issue is that the twins think they've fallen for the personality/the life/etc. of the opposite twin so they each kinda feel like they aren't the one the dude is interested in, that they're into the other sister.  These guys should be pissed but they aren't, not really. I'll let you guess the end.

Your three leads are awesome, all can act, and - as said - especially Candace, and this had to be exhausting to pull off. Not only is each scene probably done at least couple times to get a handful of takes, she has to double-back and do it more times because of the opposite twin role. The amount of lines she had to memorize is astounding, not to mention developing two different characters with different (although not drastically) personalities. She nailed it.

Bottom line: this movie could've gone trash in a hot minute, but it didn't, because they did some stellar casting (Candace's daughter Natasha actually plays her daughter) and everyone can actually act. The premise is unrealistic and likely unsustainable for longer than a couple days in real life (the mention of them being "estranged" is particularly odd to me because there's definitely no way they'd be able to pull this off without being close so that they knew a lot about each other's lives), but what saved it was, like I say, the sensibility of having some key players in the know who supported them. This also, surprisingly, didn't tick a ton of bingo boxes, and I didn't find it a waste of my time. It's a fun flick, I'm only dinging it for the making estranged thing and the dudes not being more upset for being lied to than they were because in whack-a-doo stories, you gotta write everything else as real as possible so that the audience is more accepting of the whack-a-doo, and they slipped a touch there.

4/5 stars

I have two stupid ones for you to avoid that are just over-acted and either totally ridiculous + poorly acted (the first one) and totally typical + poorly acted (the second one). Let's just make this quick for all our sakes:

Magic Stocking (Hallmark, 2015 - nobody you'll know... well maybe this dude called Victor Webster, he's actually decent, hate he got stuck in this dreck) Official summary:

"Lindsey, a single mom with an adorable daughter, is closed off to life after losing her husband a few years back. When she buys a stocking at her town’s Christmas craft fair, the family begins “magically” finding items in the stocking that they learn have importance in their lives."

It's schlock and just plain insulting to your intelligence, and I didn't give a shit if they got together or not, something about the leading lady worked my nerves. I didn't need her to believe in the "magic", I just needed her to be able to investigate it without being so dialed up to 11 about it, she looked like she was close to exploding in the majority of it.

And....

Christmas At Pemberley Manor (Hallmark, 2018 - that chick Jessica Lowndes from that movie we covered in prior entries who can't act, and Michael Rady who you may recognize, too)

I mean, she can't act, so it's irritating the whole way through the basic bitch plot. Also? Check what they did with the names, which is absolutely positively insulting, and Austen has triple Salchow'd in her grave. Official summary:

"As Christmas approaches, Elizabeth Bennett, a New York event planner, is sent to a quaint, small town to organize their holiday festival. When she arrives, she finds William Darcy, a high-profile billionaire lacking in holiday spirit, in the process of selling the charming estate she hoped to use as a venue. Determined to make her event a success, Elizabeth persuades the reluctant Darcy to let her hold the festival on the historical estate once known for its holiday cheer. When they wind up working together to arrange the festivities, the unlikely pair begins falling for each other. But when complications arise and the festival is unexpectedly shut down, the couple parts ways and Darcy moves forward with his plans to sell the estate. On the night before Christmas, a wistful Elizabeth hopes for a Christmas miracle to revive the festival, save the estate and rekindle her holiday romance."  

For both of them: 1/5 stars

Here's your 4-and-5 stars so far (in no particular order):

Trading Christmas - 5/5 stars Christmas In The Air - 5/5 stars Mingle All The Way - 5/5 stars The Christmas Card - 5/5 stars Fir Crazy - 4/5 stars Small Town Christmas - 4/5 stars Switched For Christmas - 4/5 stars

#3

Picture A Perfect Christmas (Hallmark, 2019 - Merritt Patterson who is familiar to me from other of these movies, and a dude who I've never seen before in my life)

We kick off the movie with single dad who has custody of his nephew, and they're talking about how they have to pick out a new nanny for him for the two weeks kid is off school for the holidays and Uncle Daddy has big shit going on at his office. Then we cut to her, and she's having dinner with her boyfriend, who she is completely uninterested in even though right now he seems like a pretty decent dude. We cut to see that kid's babysitter is an elderly woman (their neighbor) who is really nice and mentions her granddaughter... or niece, I can't remember even though I just heard it... and guess who she is, and she's coming to visit?

This is what kills me about Hallmark movies: They front load you with so much information that you're like "Baaaahhh!", and then they drag out the movie, and then it abruptly ends. 

Okay, it's her grandma. And she's on a Christmas pageant planning committee. (Box ticked) Kid's an orphan, so dead parents. (Box ticked) And of course, kid himself, who is precocious and will likely bring everyone together. (Box ticked) I have to take a shower, I bet money I can be away from this movie for 15-20 minutes and not miss a damn thing. Let's find out, for science.

[time passes]

Yeah, I've missed nothing. Here's what's kind've odd - it's like she's falling for the kid and not him. They have zero chemistry, and it's like she's wanting more to be the kid's mom than wanting to be this dude's wife. Also, his haircut is really distracting, it is some kinds of awful.

Okay, well, this is just cookie-cutter. There's nothing remarkable or original or super-egregious about it. So if you just want something to pass time, here you go.

3/5 stars

Mingle All The Way (Hallmark, 2018 - chick named Jen Lilley who should be in more shit, and dude named Brant Daugherty who is discount John Krazinski but still great)

I checked, and we talked about this one last year so I'll re-post the scoop below, but anyway it came on and I re-watched it while I was ironing, and it holds up, it's just solid from top to bottom. I rated it 4/5 last year, but it's getting top score this year upon reconsideration, because there's so few flaws. It's creative, the script has sharpness to it, and acting's good across the board, and most importantly our 2 leads click. Here's what I wrote last year:

Inventive concept here, though they kinda shit the bed with naming their business something affiliated with Christmas if it’s clearly a year-round affair, but okay. What it is: a dating app that’s not a dating app, it’s purely for folks who need a +1 to specifically business/work social events, but also more formal family and friend events (so, say, Christmas party where it’s not just family, or friend party that’s not just show up in your jeans and sweaters - the cocktail stuff, is my point). The thing is, no one is pretending to be the boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s supposed to be like “And this is Susie/Steve, an associate of mine from ____ business”. Nothing romantic, no false pretenses, no lying to others (well… not supposed to wink-wink).

The chick - who runs the biz/came up with it/helped develop it - is needing to take on investors, and one of them is like “Sold! But can I get some firsthand testimonial? Have you yourself tested your product?” and since she’s got shit coming up on her agenda, she does. Plus, her mom’s on her ass about working so much and not dating since a bad breakup years ago, and it’s compounded because baby sister just got engaged. (Mom is bionic woman Lindsay Wagner. She’s not really bionic. Google it, youths.)

Dude is in a situation where he’s not advancing at work because scuzzy kiss ass co-worker is shmoozing with boss during off hours because boss doesn’t invite the single people to brunch or whatever with him and his wife, he’s only inviting the ones who he knows has a partner to bring. I know to some of you this may sound absolutely ridiculous but, um, I’ve experienced this many times. This is not out of the realm. Not even a little bit. I had a gay boss who understood how this happens (likely because he experienced it) and he was wonderful about including everybody. Otherwise, yeah, I been there. I’ve digressed.

The leads have good chemistry, there was great snark and back-and-forth when they met each other a couple times prior to the set-up (‘cause you guessed it: the app paired them with a high %age of compatibility - his sister suggested he do it after he heard about it on the news and he told her of his situation) and they click really well. There’s touches of shmoop, of course, but this was an above-average story amongst the typical Christmas dreck.

5/5 stars

Last Vermont Christmas (Hallmark, 2018 - Erin Cahill, Justin Bruening - both of whom I recognize)

Hey guess what, this may be their last Vermont Christmas. ::sigh:: Main chick and her 2 sisters and her daughter (single mom, dead husband, box checked, as well as adorable child, check) have converged on the family home in Vermont to find that mom and dad are selling, and I get it, it's huge and they're ready to scale down because they're retired. But, selfishly, one of the sisters - oh, and PS? they look *nothing* alike, casting couldn't even be bothered to get women with the same hair color - decides to sabotage things. So like, when the inspector comes, she and her sorta boyfriend follow him around and make little comments about stuff like termites, then they made sure the fuse box had all kinds of fat wires with caps protruding out of it - you know, like what you'll find if you're changing a light fixture, which is not how fuse boxes work - and I think there was something with some steps.

Anyway none of this matters. What matters is that lead dude is a contractor and is also lead chick's ex from way-back-when, before she met man of dreams and had daughter and moved away to some far off state, I wasn't paying attention. But they get along great and are occasionally a little cheeky with each other, so that's fine. So now he's around doing these faux repairs and they're kind and looping him into their Christmas stuff, which they are disgustingly picture perfect. They cut down their own tree. They go caroling. They bake cookies. They hand-make their ornaments every damn year. I hate them. Well, the writers. It's too much. That was all in roughly the first 45 minutes, too. I'm sure some families out there take it to the mat with Christmas, but holy shit. Okay, add gingerbread houses from scratch (they made sure to show the baking pan with more squares so you know this) to the list. 

This is blowing up the bingo like 'Nam. There's now a snowball fight. Family tree decorating scene with, of course, these special handmade ornaments plus ornaments from years past where they're recalling special times. Ohmigawd, I need to fill out a card for this one, it's insane, I almost can't keep up. Oop, "Grandma's special hot chocolate". Character demonstrates talent (one of the sisters, singing). I legit am not lying, these are coming so fast I'm having trouble keeping up.

He's also somehow in cahoots with the realtor, because he had committed to buying the house, but he says it doesn't feel right now that he's back to getting chubs from his ex, and she's like "Well if you don't then we're still gonna settle up" and I have no idea what that means, does that mean she expects him to pay her the commission she'd have gotten? Is this normal practice? Realtors must have stuff fall through all the time, they'll end up selling and get a commission and who knows, maybe at a better price, so.... ????? The hell? 

Speaking of him, two things: one, his name is Nash (heh) and two, I went to imdb to check the summary to see if I forgot/missed anything and the reviews are hilarious, a ton of them mention how distracting his hair is - he just has lots of it, seems really thick, and it's shaved tight on the sides, so he's got a decent amount atop his dome, but it's only really noticeable when it's slicked straight back. But people were losing their shit over it. I don't find it that distracting, but you may, I find youngest sister's perpetually greasy 1970s hair (not her fault, that's hair and make-up's fault) more irritating.

Okay, so, there's no way this can get a 3, there's too much bingo hits. But aside from that, the acting - especially from youngest sister, who overacts - is very stilted and unnatural, and on occasion the editor left in these pauses in dialogue that are just a touch too long, so I think that's part of the issue. I don't mind the story at all, it's not something we see all the time and thank the lord it's not "family business in danger" - though oh shit, I forgot, this counts as "family home in danger", so there's another square. This is trope-a-palooza. Wait, snowman building. Town has celebration. Okay, I'm done listing, I think we all know where this has to go.

1/5 stars

Reunited At Christmas (Hallmark, 2018 - Nikki Deloach, who you'll recognize, and other character actors you'll recognize)

So lead chick's mom and dad are making everything weird with all these passive-aggressive comments about the past via mom and shmoopy comments about the past via dad. (They're divorced so I can't figure why they're all shacked up in this house for Christmas with their adult children and their partners.) Lead chick also agreed to her boyfriend's proposal - and he seems like a great guy - even though she's not ready, which is mature. At least within about 10 mins. of it happening she ponies up that she's not into being engaged, and he's a good actor, and it really is kinda sad, I feel for him. So he's all - Imma finish chopping this wood then head back to spend Christmas with my family and we'll regroup after the holidays, and she's all "For real?!" and I'm all "Are you surprised?!"

Y'all this one bored me, I didn't make it past roughly the first 45 minutes, I just didn't care if they got back together and I presume based on the title that they do. Nobody's acting was egregious or anything, it was just slogging and I wasn't engaged because this plot isn't creative at all - I mean, here's the official summary:

Frazzled and struggling with writer's block, novelist Samantha (Deloach), along with her boyfriend, heads home to her late grandmother's home to spend Christmas. While at home with family, her grandmother's wise words reveal the true meaning of Christmas with Samantha at a time when she most needs encouragement.

But again, based on the first part, that doesn't seem to be the plot - I mean seriously, we go through all this family activities stuff, and her and the boyfriend having several different conversations about the not wanting to be engaged thing (one at skating rink, one whilst he's chopping wood, one while back at the house), so there's literally no real mention of grandma by that point, and we're almost at an hour what with commercial breaks and such. So that's it. That's all they've accomplished in basically the first half of the movie. And they managed to hit a bunch of squares (someone's an author, someone gets engaged, skating, tree decorating, baking, etc.) and I'm sure there was more to come. It's the pacing that kills this one, as well as the basic bitch plot, but hey it'll serve as background noise.

2/5 stars  

Small Town Christmas (Hallmark 2018 - Ashley Newbrough who is poor man's Denise Richards, Ryan McDonell who you'll recognize and is a really good actor)

She's an author (check box) on a national book tour and her last stop is the town she's from, upon which the book is based, and her name is Nelle and you'll remember this because for some reason every time someone speaks to her they have to say her name. Okay, maybe not *every* time but it caught my ear, even when I was distracted doing something else or had stepped into another room, they just say her name *constantly* and I don't get it.  The bookstore owner is an almost-was from the past, and there was some mix-up back when they both lived in New York about her leaving him a note and saying to meet her for some reason but he didn't show because turned out he had to leave because his sister had unexpectedly died, but then also he'd written her a letter explaining that she never got but he assumed she got and never contacted him. But then she had texted him a few times over the years and he'd never responded. Because everyone is twelve. I'm not tracking with this completely, though I do get the feeling of just wanting to let something go and let it be in the past. 

Anyway, more drama is that his sister had died so he - name is Emmett - has custody of niece, who is a great little actress and not one bit irritating, she's very cool. Also, her dynamic with uncle is great and like I say, he's a fantastic actor. Poor man's Denise Richards is fine, too, I've got no complaints, honestly. Also pleasant are the peripheral characters of the townspeople. Seriously, across the board, nobody is annoying or eye-rolly, everyone's acting is natural. All right, so close-knit town and some drama is that Brad, this real estate agent who's repping a big dawg firm wants to essentially buy up the town, at least the entirety of the main street/the shops to redevelop, and the part that's cool is that they all talk about it reasonably - some of them being hold outs, some of them really considering it - like adults, nobody's fighting or being douchebags. Then it gets to where the last hold-out is Emmett and he's thinking of Marnie, the kid, because this was her mom's store and so it's technically hers though he has power of attorney. 

Also happening is that Brad is trying to sell the investors on the fact that this town is Ideal Christmas Place, that it's super traditional and the townsfolk do it up right and whatnot, and they are thus far not impressed by what they are seeing. ???? I don't get it, if they want to redevelop then aren't they more concerned about the land/the property value? I'm missing something. Emmett finally agrees and Nelle fusses at him and because Brad's been into her, he's shared what the plan really is with her, and she swipes his notebook and shows Emmett "Look this is some shitass mall or something, you dun goofed". And Brad whiffed because the promise was that the stores would be left alone and they'd all still work there/be the management, it'd just be owned by the corporation and - oh I get it now, they want it to be a big tourist town like thing during the winter holiday seasons. Okay, gotcha. Anyway, I'll let you guess how everything turns out in the end.

I actually liked this one, it could've gone majorly shmoop and tropey fast - I mean, it popped on more than a few bingo squares (bookstore owner, dead parents, author, Christmas tree decorating, town festival/celebration, family business is in danger of being lost, child character) but again, the whole vibe of this movie is casual and natural and it flows and the pacing is on point. The reason for their initial fall-out is a bit "Huh?" but I appreciate that it wasn't something complicated, it was more to real life which is that it is more often than not that it's silly little misunderstandings that drive us apart and if we'd just friggin' speak the hell up, we'd realize it's not a big deal. The two leads really clicked and that was so nice to see since the majority of these movies they don't. Guys, this is one worth watching, I'm only dinging it because too many squares were hit.

4/5 stars

The Christmas Card (Hallmark, 2006 - Ed Asner, Alice Evans, John Newton)

Ed Asner is a gift, and I won't hear otherwise. You'll also recognize the two leads, I've seen them in other stuff. And no, that date's not wrong, this is an oldie and by my estimation these Hallmark movies get more solid on the whole the further back you go, it's like they gave a fuck about nuance in the script vs. recycling plots for the most part so they can crank these babies out like rabbits in perpetual heat. I suspect that's the reason for the 2 star rating you'll see when you hit "info" on the remote. But fuck that, because here's a factoid - other than that I'm about to give this one a 5 (spoiler), Ed Asner was nominated for a Primetime Emmy for it, so I assure you, it's better than that 2 star will indicate.

So here's the first part of the plot from Wikipedia:

In the midst of war in Afghanistan, U.S. Army Master Sergeant Cody Cullen (John Newton) is given a Christmas card from a fellow soldier who had received it from his hometown, Nevada City, California. The card was sent by Faith Spelman (Alice Evans). As months pass, the card never leaves his side. Cody, who has no family, and whose father was killed during the Vietnam War, is deeply affected when the soldier who gave him the card is killed. A few weeks before Christmas, Cody travels to see the soldier's widow, back in Nevada City. Just as he is about to leave town, Cody runs into Faith at a local luncheonette, where they happened to have placed identical orders. They part, but on his way out of town, Cody saves Faith's father, Luke (Ed Asner), from being hit by a speeding car. Luke takes a liking to Cody and convinces him to stay on as temporary help at his family's logging company. Paul (Ben Weber), Faith's longtime boyfriend who travels much of the time, and who selfishly wants Faith to move away from her close-knit family in Nevada City, arrives to meet her.

Everyone nails it. You believe that a part of Faith genuinely cares about the asscrack who's been stringing her along, and that actor nails the whole dickbag routine without being so obnoxious it makes you want to drop-kick the TV. Cody is quietly charming and sells you on the fact that yes, he loves her, and so much that he's not willing to potentially ruin her life, even if it's a life without him. Ed Asner is perfection in his role as the loving and slightly meddlesome dad. The mom is great. The friend is great. All the side characters are great. There is not a bit of cheese in this movie, nothing is tropey, nothing is schlocky, it's just heartwarming. And there are *zero* of the typical cliche elements that arise in these movies featuring troops/veterans. It was so goddamned refreshing as compared to 95% of what Hallmark cranks out now, I genuinely can't believe this is from the same braintrust. 

If it comes on, do yourself a favor and watch it. 

5/5 stars 

Here’s your 4 and 5 stars thus far:

Trading Christmas - 5/5 stars Christmas In The Air - 5/5 stars Mingle All The Way - 5/5 stars The Christmas Card - 5/5 stars Small Town Christmas - 4/5 stars

#2

Christmas Made To Order (Hallmark, 2018 - THE DUDE WHO PLAYED AARON SAMUELS IN "MEAN GIRLS"!!!! and a chick who can't act even a little bit)

I cannot emphasize how bad an actress the leading lady is, it is painfully bad. It's not as intolerable as Kellie Pickler, but she's a close damn second. That's how bad it is. I looked her up to see who the fuck would've ever hired her, her name is Alexa Pena Vega, which I tell you so you can immediately change the channel if you see her name in the credits. The only thing from fairly recent past that's of note is that she appeared in 7 episodes of the TV show "Nashville", 90% of what she's done I've never heard of but she's had steady work since she was a kid, and I tell you this because you, too, can be an actor if this person can. 

This movie's plot is bland, the script is stilted, the tone is shmoopy, the pacing is draggy, and it hits way too many bingo squares. Everything about it is irritating. The part that irritated me most was where they're singing "Angels We Have Heard On High" and when getting to "in excelsis deo" they pronounce it "egg-shell-sees", which is wrong, it's more like "eck-chel-sees", hitting that "ch" and last "s" light. I've sang in choirs in Carnegie Hall not once, but twice, you can trust me. There, now you know. 

I feel sorry for Aaron Samuels (Jonathan. His name is Jonathan Bennett. I'm sorry also that everyone, including me, probably calls him Aaron Samuels). He ain't that great in this, and I feel like it's because of the material/people he had to work with. The peripheral family members are overall kind've stiff or something, too. So maybe this is also a director issue? But ol' Alexa, man, she is of the suck, high school kids do better than this. I'm not bothering to give you the summary... I mean, it's basically the title, she's a Christmas party coordinator who's hired by him. I will say I'm happy it reminded me I need to pull a recipe for crockpot mulled cider, so there's that. I'll give it a star for that. We'll file this under background noise, because if you pay attention to it, she's gonna work your nerves then squeeze the last. 

1/5 stars 

Holiday For Heroes (Hallmark, 2019 - Marc Blucas, Melissa Claire Egan)

This one ain't too terribly bad. It's the second military-at-Christmas movie that Blucas has been in for Hallmark (that I've seen) and I have to confess, I was subconsciously comparing that one to this one because that one was pretty damn good (see last year's list, linked above). But Blucas is a really solid actor, everything I've ever seen him in, it comes off naturally. Having said that, I feel like he's been some sort of military something-or-other in most everything I've seen him in (*waves to fellow Buffy fans*), so it could just be he's nailing this shtick. 

She's a little too Mary Poppins - you know, practically perfect in every way - except without the sass, so it's saccharine but I don't blame her, she seems a decent actress who's playing the cards she's been dealt. One of those cards is that her phone ring is a Christmas carol. ::sigh:: I actually laughed out loud at the skating part because any full shot to where you could potentially see her face coupled with a body that had feet wearing skates was either super-far away like they were filming from Mars or, I shit you not, her face was obscured by a hockey net. Girl, it's cool if you got weak ankles or were traumatized by a zamboni or something. But like, don't take the role, ask for a summer movie. 

Okay, here's the problem - this movie is pretty boring. I looked at the clock probably every thirty minutes because I kept thinking "This has to be getting close to the end, right?" These two don't have any romantic chemistry, but they click, it's just I could picture them playing more brother and sister. But the story is blah, I simply didn't care about her getting her party to happen and yeah, it's not for personal, self-serving reasons, it's for a good cause (kids! soldiers!), but I just couldn't find myself caring if she pulled it off or not.  And then he's struggling between choosing a teaching job  or re-enlisting, but he didn't seem particularly stressed, so I wasn't stressed, and you know what *would* have been interesting? How the whole thing started out: somehow (and I can't recall how - maybe through her brother? because he's in the same unit?) they were paired up writing letters while he was deployed and so they knew all this cool stuff about each other, not terribly intimate but definitely personal tidbits, and I could've gotten into a movie that kept them writing letters for a little longer - there was actually a brief thing about his last letter that was lost, and that definitely could've been something interesting, when it finally turned up, that he'd written something very personal/important that he opted not to tell once he met her in person, but that potential firework turned out to be a dud. 

Instead he's back and they meet in person in essentially the first 20 minutes, maybe the first 10 - it was fast, is my point. I think maybe if they had them meeting a little later, we could've gotten to know them better and then we'd be rooting for them in both their individual issues and be rooting for them to get together. Or not, fuck, I don't know. All I know is that the title is deceptive because there were no "miracles", not in a magical or spiritual sense, and also because nothing exciting or unexpected happened, everything unfolds precisely how you expect it will. No really. What you guess early on is exactly what happens. Eh. It didn't hit enough squares to launch it down to 1 or 2 stars, it's not a complete waste of your time, but man is it dancing on the line. 

3/5 stars

Merry And Bright (Hallmark, 2019 - Jodie Sweetin and her new teeth, Andrew Walker who's that guy in lots of these movies upon whose cheekbones one could cut diamonds)

She owns a candy cane company. That's it. That's all they do, candy canes at Christmas. The red and white standard kind. They have business at one time per year and are super successful, mega rich judging by the offices and the houses in which they live. 

Suspension of disbelief, check.

Classic "family business is in danger" story, bonus dead grandmother which is the catalyst for her taking over the company. Side storyline of her mom fostering a dog that's going to end up being her Christmas present. There is no reason for this side storyline, but doggie is cute as all-get-out, so we'll give it a pass. Of course there's a baking scene. Somebody who's not into Christmas gets converted. It hits multiple boxes. 

So, Cheekbones is a consultant sent to advise Jodie on where to cut costs and consolidate, and I hope he tells her first and foremost that one cannot sustain a business for, broadly, two months out of the year, not unless they are the monopoly on candy canes. Which, they aren't. So my first thought is "make flavored canes" and "make sprinkles of said flavored canes" and "make frosting and cake mixes based on said flavors" and liqueur and patent a certain stripe pattern for the canes, then sell wrapping paper in these patterns. You know, shit that sells all year. I majored in business and minored in marketing in undergrad, I can't control when it kicks in.

They find each other difficult, which means of course they'll fall in love. Let's just jump to the end: they diversify with different flavors and they fall in love. PS: no chemistry PPS: her last name is Merriweather and the town's name is Brightwell. Get it? Merry and Bright? Yeah, they didn't just mean the song.  ::sighs::  This is just Typical with a capital "T". I was bored, but it's well-made production value-wise and is fine for background while you're cleaning or something. 

3/5 stars

A Christmas For The Books (Hallmark, 2018 - people you've neither heard of nor will recognize... unless they've been in other Hallmarks, which I'm sure they have)

This one drags so, so badly. It hits too many boxes. There's a Christmas gala. Pretending to be someone's boyfriend. Somebody's famous. Somebody's an author. Did I mention it drags? It draaaaaaags. And I am 99% certain the plot is identical to another one of these movies I've seen (perhaps on a different channel, though). The deal is that she's a romance "expert" but her own relationship just fell apart so she asks her show's producer to pretend to be her boyfriend for the benefit of the higher-ups who are giving her said show, which he does but then his on-again-off-again girlfriend shows up. She's pissed, naturally, and our lead gal lies to her and says "No I'm counseling him so he'll be a better boyfriend to you" and she's an idiot and falls for it, and they end up being best buds. ??? Okay. But here's the thing: she still ends up with dude at the end. And they have zeeeeeero chemistry. Just skip this one. Draaaaaaag. The acting is flat across the board, excepting aforementioned girlfriend who is over-the-top. 

Swear I've seen this exact plot, though. I can see one of the early scenes clear as a bell in my mind. Beautiful brunette lady, they're all outside by a gazebo or some such, she's about to go live or tape in front of audience for her show, and fiance breaks up with her, and I want to say that the guy she pretends with is either a long-time friend, or that they dated in the past. Possibly both. I'm googling this. 

* time passes *

Holy shit, it's another Hallmark movie. It's called "The Convenient Groom" from 2016, summary: "Dr. Kate Lawrence, a celebrity relationship expert, plans to publicly announce her engagement to Bryan, a handsome and perfectly polished businessman. As Kate prepares to share the news, Bryan shocks her by breaking up with her and calling off the wedding. Wanting to save her from humiliation and protect her public image, Lucas Wright, Kate’s childhood friend, steps in and pretends to be Kate’s fiancé. Stars Vanessa Marcil and David Sutcliffe." It also looks like this one was based on a book. 

Ugh. We don't do plagiarism. 

0/5 stars

Christmas In The Air (Hallmark, 2017 - Catherine Bell, Eric Close)

I don't think we did this one last year, but even if so, worth mentioning again. If you don't know him by name, you'll recognize Close, he's a good actor, and Catherine Bell is just solid across the board in everything I've seen her in. So he's a single dad who owns a toy company with his brother and of course they're slammed at this time of year and on top of that they've got a new toy (a drone-type thing) that they're trying to sell an investor on so they're busting ass trying to perfect that, too (on top of, investor and wife are coming to town to see it and somehow they get roped into having them over for dinner). Plus the kids are of an age (looks like maybe 4th grade boy and 6th grade girl?) that they're really getting into activities they've chosen for themselves now so that's on top of the usual parent stuff and we all know it's a lot for single parents at that age, it's almost like they're back to the amount of work of toddlers, they're just back to going in all directions again and starting to get more independent and need more attentiveness. I am pleased to report the kids are not brats nor are they sugar sweet, they're just normal kiddos. Now, she's a professional organizer and they meet by chance at Target or wherever and I forget the circumstances but it is evident to her that he needs some organizing and she gives him her card. I bring this up because it is not a "meet cute", it's just somebody who's astute at networking and she's polite and so's he and it's a normal interaction. 

That's the thing I like about this movie - everything unfolds in a natural manner, nothing is far-fetched. Their jobs make sense, such as - see above - they aren't limited to the Christmas season, even though people do/may need more of their services at this time of year. Close and Bell click and they're both attractive in their own ways and it's believable they grow to fall for each other. Nobody's cutesy and precious and obsessed with Christmas and hyperactive, they're adults going about their daily lives who end up realizing they kind of need each other. And on that note, they don't portray her as this lonely 40-something single woman, it's just evident that she's maybe getting dissatisfied with her routine and maybe actually needs a some messiness in her life because sometimes a little messy can be interesting, if she lets loose to a degree when it comes to all her self-imposed rules that help her keep control on her life. The only thing that was eye-roll worthy was the cookie-making montage scene and the cheesy music that backed it, but! It was incredibly short.

She also has this adorbs little greenhouse out back of her house of which I'm jealous. Not that I can grow plants particularly well. But I'm good at keeping those suckers alive. I want an herb garden when I grow up. [checks watch] Shit, I'm a grown-up. Anyway, this is a well-made, well-written, well-casted (in addition to the leads, the brothers actually resemble each other and the kids click, too), well-paced movie with well-developed characters and my final verdict is that it is most certainly not a waste of your time.

5/5 stars 

Here's your 4 and 5 stars thus far:

Trading Christmas - 5/5 stars Christmas In The Air - 5/5 stars

#1

Once Upon A Holiday (Hallmark, 2015 - some chick, a guy called Paul Campbell who's vaguely familiar)

Princess of tiny country wants some Christmastime to herself without all the royal obligations, she of course has dead parents because somebody has to. But listen, the 2 leads can actually act, nobody's shmoopy, nobody overreacts when the truth comes out, the ending is simple, it's basically very... well, basic. It's calm. It's sweet. It's not *not* worth watching, though I'd classify it as simply nice, non-irritating background fare. You're not going to go ga-ga and love it, but you're not going to loathe it, either. 

3/5 stars

A Shoe Addict's Christmas (Hallmark, 2018 - Candace Cameron, the lady who played Charlene on Designing Women)

Candace Cameron is a solid actor and she elevates everything she's in. However. This one is just stupid. It's convoluted in its premise, which is this: when this chick puts on a pair of shoes, it takes her to a certain point in her life where pivotal decisions were made (whether or not she knew at the time), and is giving her an opportunity to play Choose Your Own Adventure and see what could've happened if she'd chosen differently. We don't need the shoes for this story to happen, is my point, because just have her hold an object or have a magical person take her there a la ghosts of Christmas past. Which, well, okay - here we go.

It's also *very* convoluted in how the magic happens and how the love interest comes into it, and is as follows: she works in a department store and gets locked in there randomly one night, and meets her fairy godmother-esque guardian angel who is klutzy and quirky and initiates this whole flashbacking in time with shoes jazz, and in addition Ditzy Angel Fairy is always there kind've interfering and being bumbling while Candace and love interest are working together planning some charity thing involving his firehouse (yeah, he's a fireman, there’s additional backstory for him about following in his dad’s footsteps and something-something-something), and the department store, which somehow necessitates awkward moments in stock rooms and whilst cookie baking, oh and by the way he's also her new next door neighbor. 

Did you follow all that? Congratulations, and pass the liquor. Holy shit. Again, Candace elevates this dreck, as does - oh damn, now I remember her name, it's Jean Smart! - so a star for that, and it doesn't tick like a thousand boxes on the Bingo, but those things don't rescue the bizarre nature of this one. It's all over the place. And so it loses its charm. The shoes are a stupid shtick to try to make this be *not* the same story that we've all seen and heard a million times. And then they piled on all that other extraneous stuff to distract us from that? I guess? Question mark? You may enjoy it because it's chipper and moves at a quick clip, but... yeah, it just didn't do it for me. This type of thing has been done elsewhere, and done better. You make the call.

2/5 stars

Jingle Around The Clock (Hallmark, 2018 - Brooke Nevin, other people)

Career chick gets overwhelmed trying to balance work and the holidays, then she and the dude who's one of many in a pool of potential candidates for a job she wants end up falling for each other. Nevin's a decent actress, and she and the other lead have decent chemistry, and the plot is... you know, it's... well, decent. The only thing that really irked me is that - as in a lot of these movies - there's a stupid misunderstanding that could easily be remedied by one person holding up their hands, interrupting the person who's doing the misunderstanding, and saying "Whoa, hold on. I know what you heard/saw, but here's what actually happened." 

And in this movie's case it was reeeeeally a stretch - like, in other movies, sometimes they'll have one person get pulled away or some other thing where the misunderstood person kinda doesn't have a chance to explain, but this time it's a convo where they're both standing there for minutes upon minutes. Fucking SAY SOMETHING. Anyway. Whatevs. Some of the acting from the peripheral characters is clunky, and pacing is a little off, but overall not intolerable. And it doesn't check a metric shitton of bingo boxes. So, it's cute, not a complete waste of your time.

3/5 stars

Trading Christmas (Hallmark, 2011 - Faith Ford, Tom Cavanagh, Gil Bellows)

Outstanding production value, above-average script, and the 4 shared leads can all act. It's one of those happenstance stories, where - as in real life - no one would've been expecting to meet someone they click with when they're doing what they're doing, and what they're doing isn't some fantastical thing, they’re just trying something new (traveling/staying somewhere else for the holidays).

Everybody behaves like the grown-ups they are, there's no drama, and a tiny spat that occurs between two of them is cute, not grating. Speaking of, particular kudos to best friend character who pulls off the nosy-sassy vibe without being irritating. Even the occasional pop-over scenes to the daughter and her boyfriend at college are fine, they also can act, and they're sweet together, no shmoop, just average folks you'd have been friends with in college, and boyfriend is supportive of daughter when she has a change of heart about them doing their own traveling for Christmas. 

Everything was balanced, no one interlude at a given location lasted too long before getting back to the parallel stories going on elsewhere, and since the scenes with daughter and boyfriend are secondary, even less time was spent with them, and good, that's as it should be. And here's the part I like the best, because it's *different* and *interesting* - your 2 primary leads? Ford and Cavanagh? They aren't each other's romantic will-they-won't-they, so how's about that? This barely hits anything on the bingo card, ergo the score is....

5/5 stars

Time For Me To Come Home For Christmas (Hallmark, 2018 - Josh Henderson, Megan Park) 

I should take off a star right now for the long title. You'll know by the end of the review what I've decided. Anyhow, out of the gate, understand that I had to make myself watch this one because the synopsis tells me part of this has to do with the dude being a country music singer and that means somebody's gonna sing - likely, him - and it'll probs be a Christmas song, and that also carries with it the risk of *original* Christmas song, which is infinitely worse. I also have no idea who this Josh Henderson person is - if he happens to be a singer by trade and this is what got him the role, well, I'm not looking it up, I'm reserving my judgment for when I actually hear him sing and see him act.  

Second thing to know, there's something very important that sold me on watching this: turns out Megan Park is the actress who played my favorite character in one of these Christmas movies so far - and some of you will understand the gravity of this, but if you don't then go now and read my write-up on the worst of the worst, My Christmas Love. Folks, Megan Park played Janet. *The* Janet. Light of my life during that shitstorm Janet. She who kept me afloat in a sea of dreck Janet. I owe this to Janet. 

Henderson's a fine actor, Park is way above average and should be doing more than Hallmark movies, and they click together, so good casting, there. (Also good casting? He's actually Southern, the accent isn't fake - though on the occasional word he bumps it up a bit but that could've been because of director, who knows - and for my Southern ears that is so re-fucking-freshing). The dialogue is better than usual for these movies (read: it sounds like things real people would say), and it's elevated by the fact that our two leads are delivering it well. The story unfolds in an easygoing, natural manner (as in, it's not smitten at first sight, they grow to fall for each other over the course of their journey), while at the same time moving at a nice clip. The quick and dirty: they're both from nearby towns/cities in the same state in the midwest, she thinks she knows him from local choir competitions so he's appreciating her treating him like anybody else vs. famous, they're both kinda dreading going home - her because breaking news to dad that the family business is in worse trouble than they thought, him because it's going to be first Christmas since his dad died, plus he's stressed anyhow because he's got songwriter's block. 

A run-down of the songs, so you're fully prepared.... I'll give you the length too because I'm a super nice person... okay not really, but Christmas miracles and hope and bleccccch....

Song one: Deck the Halls, piano, solo, shortish

Okay, he can carry a tune but there's nothing exceptional about his voice. I'm still not looking him up.

Song two: Jingle Bells, acoustic guitar, two old people harmonizing (poorly), short

Bless.

Song three: Joy To The World --> O Come All Ye Faithful, acapella, choir, shortish (but most part in background), they're ever-so-slightly flat which is worse than being completely flat (hi, choir nerd here)

Sigh.

Song four: Away In A Manger, him & 2 precocious children, acoustic, shortish

Twice.

Second time longer.

Second verse with him. 

Fuuuuuuuuu--------

Song five: 

The original song (which isn't entirely bad), acoustic, she inexplicably knows the tune and words well enough to harmonize and so does the mom and then there's inexplicable ability for sister to play 2nd guitar, and inexplicable background somebody to fiddle along, as well. It's a brand new song. He just wrote it. He essentially had just finished it in his mind. Length: Long, as it finishes the movie.

Stupid. So, so stupid. Just have him sing it. I don't mind the 2nd guitar or the fiddle because people skilled on such can pick up chords after watching another person run through it once, and can insert a little complementary medley in between verses, respectively - it's the people magically knowing the lyrics that's irritating and takes you out of the movie completely.

Major Complaint: there's three separate misunderstandings. One: she thinks he was trying to make a fool of her (huh?) by not telling her who he was (re: famous) and he reacts calmly; two: she sees a tabloid saying he had a girlfriend, acts pissy til he finally gets her to pony up what the hell is wrong, she says, and he reacts good naturedly; three, he offers to invest in the fam business so they don't have to rely on bank loans, and she gets all offended saying this must mean he doesn't believe in her (::sigh:: no, it doesn't), and he again takes it well. What annoys me is that all three of these are stupid and are on her, and she's not a stupid person, so her behaving this way is contrary to the other 90% we've seen. I don't get it. It was really odd.

Okay, I won't give it stars off because of the title, fine. But the title *is* cumbersome and kept me from this movie last year, it should've been called A Sweet Christmas Song or something of that ilk - sweet since she makes preserves and candy bars, then of course him writing the song, and also we can't possibly have one of these movies without Christmas in the title. 

Here's the problem: this ticks way too many bingo boxes. The family business is in danger of being lost. There's a dead parent (one for each lead, bonus sick spouse of random friend). There's Christmas songs sung by lead character. There's precocious children (three, specifically). One of the lead characters is famous. Character performs an instrumental talent. Group baking scene. Visit to a town with a holiday event. Characters make Christmas wishes. 

Those coupled with the annoying triple-play of Standard Hallmark Movie Misunderstanding Moment means this should be in negative star territory. But we're going to break the rules. I am docking it only one star for all the tropes, then another star specifically for song overload, as it would've been more impactful to hear his voice for the first time (bits in background as he comes on radio/TV notwithstanding) in the song he's been struggling to write when it happens at the end. All the music was just too much, between him and rando touring couple and choir and kids (twice), then the family sing-a-long. Good god almighty, I actually got tired just typing all that out. This movie is so strange because the components are of the suck, but afterwards you'll be like "Eh, that wasn't bad". 

Bottom line: if you're going to watch a Christmas movie, this one is way far from the worst, it's not a waste of your time, just beware the huge trope minefield and know it's only saved by the quick pacing and very natural acting on the parts of your two leads. 

3/5 stars (but just barely, and easily could've been 5/5 which is much disappoint)

Magical Christmas Ornaments (Hallmark, 2017 - people named Jessica Lowndes and Brendan Perry, the latter of whom I recognize from something)

So, I caught part of this last year and I don't think I went over it, but don't worry if I did because I am not going over it now. Brief synopsis: Mom, who has a real hard-on for Christmas, sends daughter ornaments and they turn out to be "magical", because they are reminding her of happy anecdotes from Christmases of her past so it's changing her attitude, plus coincidental great stuff is happening after she receives each one. To sum: anti-Christmas person starts to get into the spirit, lady lead is really focused on her career, falls in love with physician neighbor, precocious kids - it's trope-a-palooza from what I've seen (about an hour). 

Here's why I'm not bothering to get into it - well, beyond the fact that the lady lead couldn't act her way out of a paper bag, plus (and this is *not* her fault) her hair and makeup are poorly done and it's very distracting - it's a commercial for Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments. The very first one she opens, it's an over-the-shoulder shot and she's got the box tilted precisely to where the logo is clear-as-a-bell into the camera. Fuck that noise. I'm not sticking around for the rest of the ornaments, it may've only happened with that one but I don't care. Also, the pacing is soooo slow. 

1/5 stars (the one only because the male lead can act, and may make it tolerable for you)

[myeyesarenotblue]

Hey @rewouu​ guess what?? I was your secret santa ❤️

I wrote a silly little thing, hope you’ll like it!!! @secret-santa-klaus

Read on AO3

Ben shuts his bedroom door behind him.  

He sighs, taking a deep and heavy breath, after. He shrugs his jacket off. It’s like Dad doesn’t even care that since December rolled around it’s getting nearly impossible to stand outside for two minutes too long without freezing their asses off. He still makes sure they spar, and train, and run around in circles like idiots. Ben hates it.  

He never listens. One of them could say, “But Dad, there’s a gym in the basement! We could easily spar there!” and then Dad will reply, without exception, “The fresh air will do you good”  

It could be, “But Dad, we could run laps in the big staircase!” and then, “You’ve done enough of that already, you should know your regimes need variety”

Or, “But Dad, do we even have to train? We know all the moves already”  

And Dad says, “One can never know too much”  

“You asshole, it’s fucking snowing, we’re gonna get fucking hypo-”  

“You’ve just earned ten more laps, Number Four”  

He never listens. Ben hates it.  

He’s tired, and worn, and he’s pretty sure there’s a big chunk of snow melting somewhere in his underwear. He’d like to blame Diego, but truly, truly, he can only blame himself. He thinks he should remember by know, that going against Diego and making the rookie mistake that is not letting him win after two seconds always results in an array of random objects being thrown into places they shouldn’t be thrown in. He should remember by now.  

But he’s an idiot like that, and he didn’t. There’s snow in his underwear.  

He sighs again, long and heavy and hard, just because he can- and even if there’s no one to listen to his moping, it makes him feel the tiniest bit better.  

He considers turning back into the hallway and taking a shower like a normal person would do, but immediately decides against it. He’s too tired. He’s too tired, and the thought of doing anything at all but letting himself fall face-first into his bed and sleeping for maybe a decade is a little too much to handle at the moment. So he does just that.  

He lays haphazardly across his bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He resolves to sleep and sleep and sleep, and plan exactly how surprised and oblivious he’s going to act when Diego’s favorite knife goes mysteriously missing. It won’t exactly be hard, he thinks, to fall asleep after the day he’s had- even the creatures are tired, humming quietly and displeased under his skin.  

Tired, tired, tired.  

He lets the ever-present quiet lull him under, the tap-tap-tap of melting snow dripping down from the roof and into the courtyard. He thinks he can hear Vanya practicing that new song she’s been working on somewhere in the house. He breathes deeply, content, comfortable, resting.  

He’s just about to fall asleep when-  

“Ben!”  

Knocking on his door.  

Ben groans, rolls over until he’s lying on his back.  

“Ben!”

More knocking, gliding into pounding. Ben snaps his eyes shut and makes the very smart choice of ignoring the noise and hoping it’ll go away.  

“Benny!”

It doesn’t go away.  

“Ben, Ben, Ben!”  

Ben pats blindly for a pillow and pushes it tight against his face, hoping it’ll muffle even the tiniest little bit of the noise by some miracle.  

It doesn’t.  

“My best bro, Numero Six! Benny-boy!”

The knocking grows into pounding, and then the pounding sounds like straight up kicking and punching and whacking, and there’s just one person in the academy who’d do that after waiting for exactly five seconds, is there not?  

Ben huffs, annoyed, but not surprised.  

He drags himself off the bed long enough to unlock his bedroom’s door and then plops right down again, this time kicking off his shoes and tucking himself under the covers.  

Klaus strolls inside, looking all smug and proud, and not even a speck of guilty after nearly kicking down his door. But that’s to expect. What’s not to expect, though, is that Klaus is carrying something with him, something hidden behind his back, unseen.  

Ben squints, tilts his head and just barely makes out a sharp edge, wrapped in red.  

He throws Klaus a questioning look and immediately regrets it.  

Klaus squeals a high noise, full anticipation and excitement, and before he knows it, he’s jumping right into his bed. It’s half a second, and he doesn’t have any leverage with his hands behind his back, but somehow, he still manages to make his knee land right somewhere over Ben’s ribs.  

“Ugh- Klaus! Watch it” Ben moans, clutching his stomach while straightening up and scooting over to the side, because apparently, they’re having a sleepover now, whether he wants it or not.  

Klaus sits there, and unsettling expression on his face. Far too giddy for his liking. It can only mean trouble. “Ben,” Klaus gushes and doesn’t say another word, instead of explaining himself. He keeps staring on and his eyes are- sparkling.  

Ben narrows his eyes, “Klaus?”  

He sort of wants to ask if he’s high, but he doesn’t really think that’s it. Drugs tend to make him fuzzy and slow and compliant (at least the ones he usually takes, anyway) and right now he seems far too energetic to be anything but his usual sober self.  

“Hey, Ben” Klaus blurts, giggling like a maniac.  

“Yeah?”  

“Guess what’s behind my back”  

Ben frowns, makes a face. He doesn’t like surprises. And besides, besides, “How are you not tired?”  

“Oh, no. I totally feel like I’m gonna pass out any second” Klaus mutters, but he’s chewing- his tongue, or his cheek, or something, and he’s jittery and frenzied. Ben starts doubting that drug thing, but then- “I drank like, half a pot of coffee an hour ago”  

“I thought you hated coffee”  

“Yeah, fuck coffee! That thing tastes like shit”  

Ben blinks, very carefully doesn’t ask where the hell Klaus even got coffee since Dad absolutely loathes the thing and doesn’t allow it in the house. “Yeah,” he says, because he doesn’t know what else to say. “Yeah, it tastes pretty awful”  

Klaus nods along, but then he seems to remember he barged in into his room for a reason. “You haven’t guessed” he moans, pouting. “Guess!”  

“Uh, I don’t-”  

“Fine, I’ll tell you”  

Klaus doesn’t waste a single second, and in the blink of an eye, he’s pulling the something he was hiding from behind his back and shoving it all of two inches away from Ben’s face. Ben scrambles backwards instinctually, nearly falling off the bed, but he manages to keep his balance just in time to look up, and then-

And then he sees it.  

Shiny red and pretty, a little rectangle wrapped in craft paper.  

He’s left blinking dumbly at it, again, and again, and again, and for the longest, most embarrassing moment, he doesn’t quite understand what he’s seeing, doesn’t understand the carelessly thrown pieces of glitter, or the giant green bow, or the crude little drawing in the corner, all sharpie lines and messy scribbles, of what can only be a reindeer sprouting tentacles in place of antlers. 

“Merry Christmas, Ben” Klaus says, smiling softly, eyes twinkling.  

Christmas.  

Ben’s-

They’ve never done Christmas. Ever. They’ve never done Easter, or Halloween, or Thanksgiving, or any of those pretty and entrancing theme days- holidays, those ones from the movies and the billboards, the ones where everyone looks happy and relaxed and loved.  

They’ve never done any of that.  

They barely do birthdays. Dad hands them some pen or some journal or some keychain with an engraved umbrella, all wrapped up in the dullest paper, and that’s it.  

Ben’s-

Ben stares up at the shiny rectangle, stares up at the big bow.  

He always did wonder what those children in the movies and the billboards were feeling when they found a present under their Christmas tree. They always look so unexplainably, unmistakably, irrevocably, plain happy-  

Overwhelmed and overjoyed, entranced.

Ben never understood.  

He thinks he understands now.  

“Klaus, you-” Ben starts, amazed, eyes wide, but he thinks he’s been staring dumbly for a little too long, speechless and way too startled. Klaus’ pulled the little rectangle closer to himself, away from Ben, away and into his chest.  

“I mean,” Klaus mutters, and he’s lost a bit of that twinkle, now shifting nervously, “I know it’s silly, so it’s cool if you don’t, like-” and he’s biting his lip, avoiding Ben’s eyes, “like it, or want it, y’know? It’s just-”

Ben huffs, decides to make the very wise decision that is interrupting Klaus’ rambling before it gets any worse, “Hey, Klaus, you don’t-”

But Klaus doesn’t listen.  

“-you're always watching all those Christmas movies in our half hour, so I thought-”

“Klaus!”  

“What?”  

Klaus looks up sharply, startled.  

Ben doesn’t even have the heart to tell him the reason he watches all those Christmas movies during their half hour is because he might or might not have developed an unhealthy obsession with romcoms over the past few months. He had to get to the Christmas ones at some point. There’s only so many times a person can watch 13 Going on 30.

Ben swallows, pushes down his thoughts and instead focuses on what’s right in front of him. “Is that,” he starts, far more nervous than any shiny big bow has any right to make him, “Is that for me? A present?”

“Yeah, sure” Klaus says, and it sounds almost like a question. The smile’s back on his face, though. “A Christmas present, if you will”  

Ben chuckles, disbelieving and happy. “Isn’t that thing about Jesus”  

Klaus gasps, “Well, yeah, but-” he sighs, very clearly annoyed. “We can just ignore that part. Besides, I once had a really fucked up dream that I died and God was an ethnically ambiguous teenage girl who called me a loser and then kicked me out of heaven, so I’m not really big on religion”  

Ben blinks. Tries to make sense of Klaus’ words.  

He can’t.  

“What?”  

He has a feeling that particular dream of his might have been fueled by some strong hallucinogens.

Klaus rolls his eyes, “Do you want your present or not?”  

“Of course I want it” Ben hisses, maybe a little too aggressive. Even the creatures stir, rumbling under his skin. Ben snaps his eyes shut briefly, takes a deep breath and wills them to settle. Is he really getting all that possessive over what’s probably a pack of smokes, or a beer, or some dirty magazine snatched from that creepy convenience store down the street?  

Yes, yes, he is.  

Klaus watches him, amused. “Good” he says, a breath from laughing, and Ben kind of wants to punch him in the face. “I was starting to get a little worried, here”  

Ben glares at him, crosses his arms over his chest.  

Klaus sighs, all dreamy and annoying, and then, and then, “Merry Christmas, brother o’mine!” he announces, incredibly loud, and bright, and obnoxious, and before Ben can do anything to stop him, he’s launching forwards and planting the wettest, grossest, biggest kiss right on Ben’s cheek.  

“Ugh-”  

He tries to push him away, only half succeeds. Klaus laughs- the asshole, and then he promptly shoves the bright little rectangle on Ben’s lap, climbing out of bed with uncoordinated movements. “May your days be holy and bright” he gushes, a glaring smile on his face.

Ben rubs his cheek, scrunching up his nose. There’s actual spit smeared in there, and he- “What the hell, Klaus? You can’t go around licking people, that’s gross”  

“I did not lick you” Klaus retorts almost immediately, all sure words and confident stance, even though he very much did lick him. Ben rolls his eyes. “Anyway,” Klaus says. “Merry Christmas, bro. Enjoy your present”  

And then he’s gone.  

He squeezes Ben’s shoulder, shoots him a dizzying smile one last time, and then he’s snatching open his bedroom’s door, stepping out.  

“Hey, Klaus” Ben calls, before he can leave.  

“Yeah?”  

Ben levels him with a look. Out of everyone in the house, he’s not surprised it was him, Klaus, of all people, the one who’d actually want to do something special for the holidays, or anything at all. Still, he feels- warmed, loved. Happy. Overwhelmed and overjoyed, entranced.  

Just like the people in the movies.  

“Thank you” he says, and he means it.  

Klaus nods, looking down, shy all of the sudden, and then he’s shutting the door behind him without another word.  

Ben stares at the door, unblinking.  

He doesn’t move a single muscle for a long moment, too busy trying to make sense of what just happened. He’s almost afraid of looking down and to his lap, and to his present , afraid that somehow- somehow, it won’t be there.  

Ben swallows, rubs the last of Klaus’ spit away from his cheek and then ghosts his fingers over the craft paper, shiny red and pretty. The drawing is, indeed, a sad attempt of a red-nosed reindeer sprouting tentacles. It’s got googly eyes, and everything. Ben’s kind of impressed.  

He unties the ribbon carefully, mindful not to disturb the paper too much, and then he’s peeling the mess of tape away, and- he knows, he knows the children in the movies always tear and rip and shred, and maybe he should, too, but he can’t really bring himself to do it. He thinks he’s going to end up keeping that little piece of red paper forever and ever, tucked away along with his most prized possessions.  

When he’s done with the tape, done freeing his present from the paper, Ben holds his breath, stops just shy of revealing what’s inside.  

From the weight and feel of it, he thinks it might be a book, and isn’t that the most wonderful thing ever? He’s read everything half-decent in the house already, Klaus knows that- Ben's told him, in several occasions, late at night when neither one of them can sleep and the only thing they can do is whine about their lives to each other.  

Ben smiles, bites his bottom lip.  

He lifts the paper up and away slowly, stets it aside, and then he’s left staring at-

H. P. Lovecraft – The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories

Oh, Ben thinks. Oh.  

And he thinks back to the handful of short stories by Lovecraft he managed to read before Dad confiscated the forgotten book he had found lying around in the house, thinks back to the endless hours he had rambled non-stop about it, very nearly talking Klaus’ ear off.  

It’s perfect, Ben thinks. It’s the best Christmas present he’s ever gotten.  

The only Christmas present he’s ever gotten.  

He lets a burst of hysterical laughter bubble out of his throat, holds the book tight against his chest, carefully, so very carefully. Maybe he’s ought to have a long talk with Klaus about dialing down the whole tentacle-themed-everything thing, but-  

Most importantly, Ben thinks, laughing deliriously, insane, happy- most importantly, he needs to sneak out of his bedroom’s window the second the opportunity presents itself, climb out, and then he needs to wander all of the streets and the stores and the shops, looking for the perfect gift.  

It’s just not fair that Klaus can now say he’s given a Christmas present but not that he’s received one.

[darkpoisonouslove]

“Falling for You (to Catch Me)” Chapter 3

Summary: Faragonda comes home to find the Christmas decorations pulled out, but Griffin seems to have disappeared. Will they need another Christmas miracle to find each other?

Here comes the last chapter of this story that definitely got way too long (we’re looking at over 8k words here and just... what the hell, brain?). Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy it because it is not exactly Christmas-focused but it has a plethora of little moments and genuine emotions and was so much fun to write. It was definitely an amazing experience that was totally worth all the effort because this chapter brings me a calm that I don’t think any of my other works ever has before.

Griffin walked into the apartment first, her step sharp and her expression critical as she scanned the living room. She was taking the search for their own place seriously–maybe even too much–and had looked over hundreds of options, rejecting ninety-eight percent of the places over minor details and leaving them with a few apartments that they actually had to go to. And considering the way things were going, they were facing the very real possibility of having to look further since nothing seemed good enough to meet Griffin's high standards.

Faragonda normally wouldn’t mind since Griffin's pickiness was usually adorable as she did that concentrated face and you could practically hear the thoughts running through her mind as her eyes took in every single detail of the thing that was currently undergoing her examination. Her perfectionism often drove everyone else around crazy but Faragonda saw in it the opportunity to spend more time with Griffin while she was assessing her purchases whether they were at the grocery store or buying furniture. Her opinion was probably biased on account that when Griffin looked at her, the critical look only appeared for a fraction of the second before her expression softened to one of pure adoration, too. It made her heart flutter every time to know that she was the one star that could melt Griffin's cold and leave behind just the warm smile and comforting presence.

However, this time she was a little more impatient than usual since she just wanted to move in with Griffin at their new apartment. She was practically living in Griffin's current apartment already but it was a little small for both of them, their belongings scattered in places that they weren’t supposed to be, and the chaos was especially noticeable on Griffin's vanity that had all of their things piled on top of it so that it was impossible to get something without pushing another thing off of it. She just wanted to wake up next to Griffin in a bedroom that didn’t have clothes all over it since they had enough closet space and to have enough cupboards in their kitchen to hold both their favorite tea sets.

With her mind set on the hope that they’d pick an apartment soon, she followed Griffin inside. It wasn’t her intention to trip at the threshold and tumble inside the living room and in Griffin's arms but it happened anyway, leaving her with a slight pain in her toes and an increasing burning sensation in her cheeks.

“Good thing I specialized in catching you,” Griffin teased, the mirth in her voice and the sparkle in her eyes making Faragonda heat up even more but not from embarrassment. Their faces were so close that she could feel Griffin's breath on her skin and the warmth that came from her when she was happy always made its way deep into Faragonda’s bones where it was welcome to stay long after the moment was gone and keep her company against the cold reality when Griffin couldn't be there with her.

“Yeah, it is,” she agreed, holding on to Griffin, for the desire to step away had never appeared and neither had the necessity which left her free to make the most of the situation. And that only seemed to make Griffin smile wider, drawing her attention to her lips and making her want to kiss her until her heart knew nothing but happiness and she’d let go of her bad memories for them to enjoy their own universe where it was just the two of them and their love.

“I don’t want to jinx this but if Ediltrude has taught me anything about reading the signs the universe is sending you, we might have found our apartment,” Griffin said, her whole face lighting up when the grin broke out at Faragonda’s utter shock that she’d just used her–not wrongly labeled by their friends–trademark fall to make predictions about the future.

It had turned out to be true, though. They’d liked the apartment and Griffin hadn’t found any faults with it so they’d quickly finalized the purchase–Griffin had joked that Faragonda had been rushing things along to make sure she wouldn’t get the chance to change her mind, and perhaps she had–and they’d gotten the key to their new shared home. It had been surreal to hear it turn in the lock now that they were the owners of the place and she could hold on to it instead of having to return it to the woman that had shown them around.

Griffin held up her arm, blocking her way. “Let me go in first so that I can catch you,” she said, the laughter hiding in her eyes where Faragonda could see it but it wasn’t threatening to ruin her serious demeanor.

She tilted her head to the side as if considering it before grabbing Griffin's hand and pulling her into the apartment, careful not to end up sending them both to the ground. Not that she minded rolling around on the floor of their new apartment with Griffin but she was trying to prove a point here. “Not necessary,” she said, as she turned around and caught Griffin's hips to steady her after she’d lost her balance from the force Faragonda had used to drag her inside. “I’ve got this,” she said, leaning even closer so that there was almost no space between their lips, tempting, luring Griffin both into a kiss and a playful argument, and she held her breath waiting to see what Griffin would choose.

“I see,” Griffin spoke, the words breathy, and purposefully so. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly in the rhythm she set and was grinding against Faragonda’s in doing so, making her lips part as her air escaped her and anticipation set in. “Well, now that both me and the key are in safe hands, I think it’s time we celebrate,” Griffin said, her tone sultry, before she leaned in and captured Faragonda’s lips in a kiss just the memory of which still made her head spin.

Faragonda pushed the handle and the door opened, her heart skipping a beat when she didn’t need to look for the key. It meant Griffin was home and she could just cuddle into her on the couch–or better yet, directly into bed–and listen to her calm heartbeat while she threaded her fingers through the long purple strands of hair absentmindedly. It helped her relax like nothing else, especially since it made Griffin hum sometimes, the content sound reverberating through her entire body and making all stress and troubles melt away.

Griffin wasn’t in the living room where she usually liked to relax but there was a big box left next to the couch that was labeled “Christmas decorations” so she might have gone to hunt down some other things they could need for the holiday makeover of their apartment. They hadn’t waited for Christmas to have their miracle this year since they’d wanted to celebrate the holidays in their new home and that had left them with the opportunity to decorate together this year. They’d gathered their favorite Christmas trinkets and had bought a bigger Christmas tree since they now had double the amount of toys to put on it.

They’d agreed to do the decoration during the weekend but Griffin loved to be prepared so she was probably going to go through everything they had and account for anything they were missing and needed to purchase still. Faragonda was pretty sure that anything they bought from now on would be just them spoiling themselves since they seemed to have everything but she wouldn't mind. She’d been delighted to find out Griffin loved unusual Christmas trinkets and had joined her tradition of hunting down such. They had an angel for the Christmas tree that looked more like a Christmas fairy with its butterfly wings and a snowman figurine that looked like someone had been unable to decide between Christmas and Halloween and had captured the spirit of both holidays at once, giving the snowman a flying broom and a pointed witch hat.

Faragonda walked over to the couch and dropped her purse on it so that she could open the box and look for the unideer that they had found on a sale at the beginning of the year and that had prompted their first conversation about moving in together. Its single antler had been like a sign that it was ridiculous to keep maintaining two apartments when they only really needed one and Faragonda couldn’t wait to put it at an honorable place on their tree, but as she rummaged around the box carefully, trying not to break anything and cut herself, other memories started invading her mind.

She opened the box to find Griffin's snow globes inside. There were about thirty of them–including four from trips they had been together on–and they were all unique with the spirit of the place that they’d been bought from that they carried. Griffin loved taking a trinket home from every place she visited to keep the memories alive and charge them with emotion and Faragonda found the chaos of the snow globes that had been scattered all over her old apartment charming considering Griffin's usual orderly manner. It was one of those little things that carried through the passion she had woven inside her, and it was absolutely enchanting.

“Where do you want your snow globes?” Faragonda asked as she started taking them out carefully as she didn’t want to destroy Griffin's memories. She knew what they meant to Griffin who wasn’t a fan of photos and instead held her experiences in the snow globes where they were sheltered by the little houses inside and were kept safe and away from prying eyes. They were like physical anchors that the memories were tied to and the moment Griffin looked at them, the images all came back as if pulled out of the river of memories in her mind. It was fascinating to watch it happen as Griffin's eyes changed while she was watching the past play in her mind and emotions made their way into the honey giving it different nuances. It was magical.

“Why don’t you find them a place? You’re better at decorating,” Griffin offered from where she was placing some of the very rare photos they had together on the shelf next to the door so that they could be looked at from the couch. She’d agreed to have them on display just as she’d agreed to take them for Faragonda’s sake, though, if Faragonda had to be perfectly honest, looking at them made her understand Griffin's obsession with privacy and reluctance to show her inner world. All the photos captured Griffin–and her–in moments that displayed such genuine emotion that having someone looking at them would be like an intrusion upon the pure moment they’d shared. “I just want the four that are separated from the rest to be somewhere I can always look at them,” Griffin said, turning to smile at her and making her rush to unwrap the mentioned snow globes.

It was exactly like she’d expected – those were the four globes Griffin had bought on their trips together. The last one she’d even let Faragonda pick when they’d been on their summer vacation. It had proven hard to hunt down snow globes in a beach resort but they’d succeeded after going around the entire place. Faragonda had picked one that had a small boat anchored in a cove since it reminded her of their own little adventure with a boat when things had gotten positively steamy on more than one accounts and the look in Griffin's eyes was promising as she’d said she would've picked that one as well.

Faragonda was startled by a loud yelp closely followed by the sound of glass breaking. She left down the snow globe with the boat and rushed to Griffin’s side to see what was the problem.

Griffin had already knelt down and was moving around the glass shards. She’d dropped one of the pictures and the glass had shattered while the broken frame had pierced right through the head of Faragonda’s mother. It was the one picture of her family she treasured, for that had been the only one of the rare moments when she’d felt happy with them that had been captured in a photo, and she’d wanted to have it in their new apartment even though she didn’t even speak to anyone from her family anymore.

“I’m so sorry,” Griffin said, her voice panicked like Faragonda hadn’t quite heard it before, tugging at her heartstrings and pulling her out of her stupor. “I don’t know what happened. I know how much you value that picture and I was trying to be careful. I didn’t want to destroy it, I’m sorry,” she rambled as she looked from the mess on the ground to Faragonda and back down, the downpour of words more destructive to both of their hearts than the fall had been to the photo. “I always destroy things, even when I don’t mean to,” she said, her voice breaking.

“It’s okay,” Faragonda grabbed at her shoulders as she knelt down too, to bring herself to Griffin's level and help her calm down. “It’s okay,” she said when Griffin looked her in the eyes and the guilt she could see in them stabbed her directly in the heart like the broken frame had been pushed through the fragile organ. “It was an accident,” she said as she cupped Griffin's face, her thumbs brushing against Griffin’s cheeks even though there were no tears there. There was self-loathing in Griffin's eyes, though, that was so acute it was a miracle it hadn’t cut through her eyeballs yet and killed them both, piercing their souls with the broken pieces of broken memories that it was made of. “It’s fine,” she reassured, but it didn’t seem to reach Griffin who pulled slightly back to make her let go of her, as if afraid the chaos in her mind would hurt her if she kept touching her.

“I don’t know if we can fix it,” she whispered as she looked down and the sound was so terrified that the only thing that kept Faragonda from falling to pieces was that Griffin needed her since the situation was certainly much worse in her mind than it was on the outside. And it was gut-wrenching to watch even the incomplete version of it that had pushed too hard for Griffin to be able to keep it inside as she always did, trying to protect everyone around her from her own feelings.

“It doesn’t matter,” Faragonda said, trying hard not to look at the picture to support her words but a part of her was wailing like a kicked puppy–the same part that still couldn't let go of the family she had long lost–and she cast a glance that made her stomach turn. “Griffin, you’re bleeding,” she said, her voice small as she could barely get it out at the sight of the blood dripping from Griffin's hand. It felt like it was flowing right down her throat and drowning her slowly but surely and her grip on Griffin tightened as she held on to her like she was her lifeline when it was Griffin's life that was oozing out of the wound.

There was red on the carpet, the floor, the glass shards and the picture as well that shined with the spark of Griffin's life as it drained out of her, and the more it colored everything it touched, the more Griffin would pale as she lost her vitality. She must have cut herself when she’d been moving around the glass in hopes of saving the stupid picture that Faragonda should have thrown out ages ago. It was broken now but she’d realized too late that holding on to it wasn’t healthy for her. Griffin had had to get injured for her to figure out that she didn’t need it anymore. And it was still holding her attention when she needed to focus it on Griffin.

“It’s completely ruined now,” Griffin spoke, making her head snap up to find the tears falling from her eyes and leaving her with the emptiness she’d heard in her voice. She was bleeding out and she was still spilling tears over a stupid photo that shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

“Griffin, forget the picture!” Faragonda snapped at her as she grabbed her face and made her look at her again, the startled look in her eyes hurting her but it was much better than seeing Griffin blame herself for something that didn’t matter to her. “I don’t care about it. You’re more important to me,” she half-yelled in her desperation to get her point across and through the haze of guilt wrapped around Griffin's mind and squeezing it tightly in its death grip. “You’re the most important,” she said, her voice breaking at the end as her own tears spilled down her cheeks and that finally seemed to get through to Griffin who grasped at her with her unharmed hand and squeezed to show her she was there with her even if the tears were still flowing, and so was the blood. “We need to get you to the hospital,” she said, her voice coming out in uneven intervals, butchering the string of words in formless pieces. They had no idea how deep the wound was and she didn’t want to take any chances of having glass pieces left inside it.

She got up and helped Griffin to her feet, too, holding on to her to make sure the blood loss hadn’t left her weak enough to fall and injure herself more. She grabbed one of the towels that was lying around for whatever reason–she couldn't be bothered to remember insignificant details right now–and ushered Griffin out of the apartment as she was wrapping it around her hand to slow down the bleeding.

Faragonda swallowed the unpleasant memory as she closed the box, unwilling to look at all the red that dominated inside it. She turned to look at the shelf of pictures where the cursed photo had been replaced by one of the two of them with Griffin's mother that inevitably made her smile every time she looked at it. At least now she had one accepting and supportive parent that would never abandon her and Griffin no matter what, and she couldn't have asked for more.

She got up and tried not to think about the broken frame and the carpet with blood stains she’d thrown out and the photo she’d burned in front of Griffin's eyes before asking her to light her scented candles to remove the smell of smoke as well as the tears of disbelief and timid joy that had filled Griffin's eyes. It had hurt to see Griffin doubt that she loved her more than the people who’d kicked her out of her own home and didn’t even bother to call her and ask how she was doing. And as she’d hugged Griffin and felt the bandages on her hand when Griffin had hugged her back, her only regret had been that she hadn’t done that sooner. She’d had to throw them out of their life like they’d done with her long before that but she was just glad that it was over and she never had to think about that again or about the absolute terror she and Griffin had both had to go through because of a photo that shouldn’t have existed.

She saw the teapot left on the kitchen counter when she turned around as well as the cup of tea left next to it which meant Griffin had gone to grab something and should have been back already. She hated having her tea cool down and turn into flavored water. She had to go look for her.

The tray that was left on top of the stove did capture her attention first, though. Griffin usually broke it out when she baked cookies and it wasn’t unusual to see it when a special occasion was around the corner–and Griffin loved to joke that every Friday is a special occasion since it means they get to spend the next two days together without having to leave each other’s side–and even without needing one. The unusual thing was that it was still empty and no products had been left out either which begged the question what was going on.

Faragonda decided it was time she found her but as she headed towards the bedroom another memory swept over her, this one attacking her senses directly.

The smells of tea and freshly baked bread tangled together in the air to make for a most tempting trail leading to the kitchen where Griffin was moving around completely in control of everything while she cooked breakfast and seemed to dance to the slow tunes coming from her phone. It was the sight–and smell–that anyone would want to start their day with.

“Good morning,” Faragonda greeted, the sleep disentangling from her voice at the alluring things that wakefulness promised. She grasped at Griffin’s hips and pulled her closer to kiss her. The eggs weren’t ready yet but she didn’t have to wait to taste Griffin’s lips and it still thrilled her to be able to kiss Griffin whenever she wanted even if they’d been living together for months now, and she was slowly but surely getting used to the lack of loneliness and Griffin's constant presence.

“Good morning,” Griffin purred when they broke the kiss, her voice a little raspy and she’d been awake for too long for it to be caused by sleepiness that still plagued her system. Which meant it was Faragonda’s eager greeting that had had that effect on her and that knowledge nestled itself into her heart and pulled her lips into a smile. “The tea is ready and I’ve put two spoons of honey in yours,” Griffin said, her honey-colored eyes shining with love and care that made her the sun of Faragonda’s life, before she pulled away to tend to breakfast.

Faragonda looked at the two mugs and got the one with the tea that was slightly darker from the added honey since they didn’t really separate their mugs and sometimes even drank out of one when they were feeling lazy or in the mood for cheesy romance. Griffin liked her tea plain without any added sweetness, be it sugar or honey. She could add some lemon to it sometimes but other than that she drank it clear. And it looked like she hadn’t wanted to start alone since her own mug was still full.

“Care to join me?” Faragonda asked before taking a sip from her tea. It was the perfect temperature for drinking and she wondered how Griffin had known when to brew it. She wasn’t really surprised by the frightening precision but she’d learned not to ask about Griffin's calculations since her mind worked in mysterious ways that were better left unquestioned simply because it would take too much time for Griffin to explain that they could utilize in other ways instead. She was just happy to know that Griffin took the time to create and maintain her comfort and that was reassuring like a warm blanket wrapped around you in the cold of the winter.

“Of course,” Griffin answered, her arms wrapping around Faragonda’s middle from behind almost instantly and Griffin's chin resting on her shoulder. It wasn’t what she had meant but she wasn’t complaining. “I want to eat,” Griffin said, her voice drawing out in a fake whine that put a smile on Faragonda’s face.

“You’re the one who’s cooking,” Faragonda chuckled, waiting to see just where this would take them. She loved Griffin's less serious side for two reasons. Okay, maybe three reasons. All the reasons, honestly. But the most notable of them were that Griffin only showed that side of herself to people she really trusted and to a certain extent, and Faragonda was sure that she’d seen the most of it. And of course, there was the fact that they could goof around together in total sync since they seemed to read each other’s minds and neither of them had any qualms about showing their most childish behavior around the other. It was an understanding that Faragonda had never gotten from anyone else, and neither had Griffin as far as she could tell.

“I didn’t say that I want to eat food,” Griffin whispered devilishly in her ear before her lips dropped to the exposed skin at Faragonda’s shoulder and started kissing up a trail towards the sensitive skin of her neck, setting everything inside her on fire. And it would only burn harder the more she let her tease her flesh with her hard kisses and light bites that she knew just how to alternate to make her squirm and beg for more.

“Breakfast is on the stove,” Faragonda said as she turned around reluctantly, forcing Griffin to stop her ministrations if even for a moment. “We’ll burn the apartment down,” she said, her own mind protesting against her protests, and it was the words that seemed to stop Griffin from any further explorations of the skin on her neck, making her heart sink in disappointment. Her own desire had been awoken and stoked now, leaving her yearning for more of Griffin's touch and to touch her in return. Breakfast wouldn't do when it came to sating her hunger now.

Griffin sighed dramatically. “Fine,” she said, before letting a big pout take over her face and make Faragonda want to kiss it off because she hated seeing it on her even if it was more playful than provoked by actual hurt. She had to restrain herself, though, because taking that course of action would leave them with the very real possibility of destroying the whole apartment.

She did run her hands up Griffin’s sides, though, a solution to their problem coming to mind. “Why don’t we drink our tea while we wait for breakfast to get ready and then we can eat in bed?” Faragonda suggested, letting a salacious smile take over her face even if she didn’t need to tempt any more to have Griffin agree if her own eagerness and inability to keep her hands to herself was any indication. And the thought of falling back in bed, this time with Griffin wrapped around her, was only making that task harder but she had to control herself if she wanted their activities to not be interrupted by the fire alarm.

Griffin's face immediately lit up with pure, unadulterated joy and she nodded enthusiastically, her excitement washing over Faragonda and making her beam as well. “I say hell yeah,” Griffin said before pulling her into a sizzling kiss.

Faragonda touched her lips at the memory of the burning passion Griffin had regarded her with. And she still did. She always did. She made her feel so wanted, so fitting, like she was a part of Griffin's life that could never be replaced, like she was her oxygen and the stars in her universe, like she was everything that gave her life. And it was so special, so magical and extraordinary while at the same time it felt so casual and cozy, and fit right into their everyday lives, making that enormous and endless love a constant in their existence like it was the most normal thing in the world. And it was. It was an inseparable part of their reality that made her feel more secure than she ever had before, than she’d ever thought was possible. Because Griffin was her home.

Faragonda entered the bedroom to find it empty. Or at least to find that Griffin wasn’t there since it couldn’t truly be empty. The space was charged with memories of calm nights that lulled her mind with their serenity and amorous escapades that left her breath hitching with the sensations Griffin had made her feel. The one that always stood out the most was their first evening in their shared bed, though.

Griffin had insisted that they needed to break it in even if they’d both been tired from running around and taking care of everything that had needed to be arranged around the moving. It had been slow and sensual, and exploratory since they’d known each other’s bodies but their souls had reconnected in a new way after the change they’d both went through at their new beginning. It had been different than before, with them fitting even better against each other–and she’d never thought that that had been possible–and feeling more complete than before, like they’d built more of their homes in each other’s hearts and not just in the physical realm and it had been indescribable. She’d wanted it to never end and in a sense it hadn’t because that deep and pure emotion was always there. In every smile and every touch, in every kiss and every word that they gifted each other with, it was always present, providing a sense of inherent safety when they were together.

Faragonda only pulled herself out of the memory to go find Griffin and experience the real thing. It was always so enlivening and recharging for them to come together as one, and yet, it was unique every time. She had no idea how it was possible but that didn’t leave her scared because she knew she didn’t need to understand. She needed to feel it and she knew in her soul that it would never end as they were wrapped around each other and feeding their love from their souls.

She still didn’t have any luck with finding Griffin, though. She wasn’t in the bathroom which meant that there was still a possibility for a shared shower later that evening. Those always helped her relax and could also be so much fun since shower thoughts seemed to double when it was the two of them together under the hot water. They’d laughed so much that they’d even had a scare when Griffin had almost fallen during a particularly strong fit of laughter. And Faragonda herself had suffered the unpleasantness of swallowing some water. At least it hadn’t been mixed with soap since they tended to get crazy with it and the shampoo.

Griffin seemed very concentrated on the soapy bubble that she was holding in her hand while Faragonda was finishing up on washing her hair. She only had to wash the ends now which meant Griffin could face her instead of having her back turned on her and the studious look on her face was most adorable.

She leaned in and blew the bubble off her palm, watching it float through the empty space before a drop of water popped it. “Bubbles are so amazing,” she said, looking around for more of them but they were all washed away by the water, and the last of them were currently gathered on the floor which rendered them off-limits. Her face fell at the realization.

“Why is that?” Faragonda asked, not trying to hide the smile that took over her face. Griffin's fascination with the smallest of things and the associations she made with them always left her in awe and wishing to spend every waking moment with her so that she wouldn’t have to miss any of those thoughts. And Griffin trusted her enough to happily share with her thoughts that would be brushed off as meaningless and undeserving of attention–perhaps even downright stupid–by a lot of people, and that only made Faragonda appreciate them and Griffin's willingness to bring her in on her experiences that much more. She loved hearing every little thought no matter how incomplete or random it could be.

“They’re so insignificant and frail but they can still bring so much joy as long as you let yourself feel it,” Griffin said, her gaze distant as her mind was speeding with too many thoughts per second for her to be able to put them in words but Faragonda didn’t need her to. She could read them in her eyes, could see the passion that they were born from. Griffin knew how to love life and appreciate the little things that she’d made a home out of for herself since she’d often been denied the big things like friendship and acceptance. So she’d made herself welcome in the small stems of the newly grown plants she was taking care of and in the small images of the stars that were so far away and she’d learned to love them and all the other small joys that life could offer. “They can fly,” she added, kind of as an afterthought, though, it may have been hesitation that had made it sound like that since they were bringing in the motive of freedom even if through symbolism and neither one of them had ever truly had that before.

“Why do I have the feeling that a hot air balloon adventure is in store?” Faragonda asked, trying to keep her own thoughts off the negative emotions tied to her suggestion. She’d always wanted to try that but she’d been too scared to take off the ground, to break her ties with what held her back and risk getting lost in the unpredictable air currents. It had terrified her with the possibility to leave her completely alone even though she’d always been lonely. But now she had Griffin and that was all the connection she needed to never fear anything again. “Perhaps a picnic after that?” she threw in to make it even more tempting and custom-made.

“Mhm,” Griffin murmured as she draped her arms over Faragonda’s shoulders and pulled her closer, touching her forehead to hers. “I love your feelings,” she said, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the thought of the new thing they had on their to do list. Or perhaps it was the tender contact that made her look so content. Either way, she was the only sight that Faragonda wanted to look at for a long, long time. Probably forever.

Griffin was still nowhere to be seen and that was starting to worry Faragonda. If she wasn’t home, then something big–something bad–must have happened to make her rush out without even locking the door. Though, Faragonda hadn’t gotten any calls or messages and she still had one place to look at so she pushed down the panic that was slowly rising inside her stomach but was still far from reaching her throat and becoming suffocating. Two places to look at, actually, if she counted the balcony... that was empty. Even Griffin's plants had been moved inside and to the living room since the winter was just waiting to strike with its negative temperatures and Griffin didn’t want to risk their lives. She hadn’t even observed the stars recently as it was too cold outside at night and she claimed that the warmth of laying in Faragonda’s lap with a book in her hands and a mug of tea nearby was too tempting.

Faragonda held both mugs with one hand as she used the other to open the door to the balcony. She stepped outside, careful not to trip and spill the hot tea and hurt herself. Falling into Griffin's arms would be more of a disaster rather than a lucky save this time since it would probably result with both of them getting scalded by their favorite drink and possibly psychologically scarred enough to refuse to drink tea anymore. And that was pretty much the exact opposite of what she was trying to do.

“I brought you some tea,” she said when she managed to complete the operation of letting herself out on the balcony and closing the door behind her back successfully, and moved one of the mugs in her other hand to make sure she had a better grip on it. It would be a shame to drop them now while she waited for Griffin to tear herself away from the telescope, even if that could take a while.

Astronomy was one of Griffin's biggest passions and she’d even saved enough money to buy her own professional telescope which Faragonda knew hadn’t been easy on her since it had meant buying less books. Griffin had persisted, though, doing what was necessary to follow her dream and give herself the best opportunity to explore the stars, her face lighting up like their light had entered her soul and was giving it an internal shine just as bright as they were. And Faragonda could never think to step between Griffin and the night sky and cast a shadow on that pure happiness. Not because she was afraid Griffin would shove her aside and choose the stars over her, but because she was always struck by respect and awe–and perhaps even some envy, since she herself still hadn’t found her own passion that was as special to her as the stars were to Griffin–at the sight of Griffin and her deep connection to something that was so far away, and still, that couldn’t stop her from giving it all of her love, it couldn’t frighten her out of feeling for it.

“Taking care of me now, are you?” Griffin teased as she stepped away from the telescope and the smile she’d already had on her face just like she always did when she was exploring the night sky widened even more when she looked at her. “All bundled up like an early Christmas present?” she asked as she stepped closer and pulled Faragonda’s wool hat downwards to the point where it almost covered her eyes and made her scowl since her hands were occupied and she couldn’t fix it or stop Griffin from any further interventions when it came to it.

“I’m getting cold just looking at you,” she scolded half-seriously as she gave Griffin a critical once-over. She’d put on a light-weight jacket this time but she was usually so underdressed when she stayed out on the balcony at night that Faragonda feared she’d catch a cold or even a pneumonia. It was pretty much the only complaint she could think of when it came to Griffin's stargazing and observations. “And yes, of course,” she added, trying to ease the exasperation out of her voice. “I will always take care of you,” she said, her eyes getting glossy just at the thought that Griffin could have any doubts about that.

“Thank you,” Griffin said softly when she didn’t really have to because it was all in her eyes. They were glowing with gratitude and appreciation and made Faragonda’s heart warm to know that Griffin knew how much she loved her. “Come here,” Griffin said as she took both cups from her hands and put them on the windowsill, before grasping at her arm and guiding her to where she wanted her so that Faragonda was standing in front of her, Griffin's front pressed against her back and her arms wrapped around her middle. At least it allowed her to fix her hat so that she could actually see and she tried to focus on what they were currently doing and push away the thought of the abandoned tea that was facing the possibility of cooling off too much to be drinkable.

“What are we looking at?” she asked, remembering those times when Griffin had spent hours acquainting her with every region of the night sky and what shiny friends could be found there. She couldn't boast that she’d remembered all of the stars Griffin had shown her but she’d been more than glad to just sit and listen, and gaze – at the stars and at Griffin, whose expression had been overflowing with emotion as she’d talked, and Faragonda had gladly let those feelings take over her, too, so that she could share Griffin's exaltation just like Griffin had hoped when she’d made the invitation. Faragonda could never regret those nights–not even the following mornings when sleep deprivation had proven to be a bitch–if only for the fact that Griffin had been so grateful to have her passions respected even if they weren’t fully understood. And she’d always treasure them, for she knew how hard it had been for Griffin to put her heart in Faragonda’s hands going against all her previous experiences with the insane hope that it wouldn’t be dropped and broken. And she’d turned to the stars and made not a wish, but a promise. A promise that she would always take care of Griffin's heart and soul, and her entire being, and wouldn’t stop loving her even when every last star had lost its shine and the sky was left dark and empty.

“The skies of course,” Griffin said like it was so simple, and the most obvious thing, the most natural thing in the world. And really, it was. It was so natural and familiar, and secure that it made Faragonda go “oh” at how clear the answer had been. “They’re all ours, endless and full of possibilities as they are,” Griffin said, her voice dreamy as she wandered into a fantasy about the future that was all in front of them just like the night sky was. It was just as vast and dark but now that they had each other and their light, it wasn’t scary anymore like it had been once.

“I’m ready to dive in it with you,” Faragonda said as she turned her head to the side from where she hoped Griffin could see how much she meant it. It wouldn’t be falling since she was walking into their future with eyes wide open, ready and wanting to be there. In fact, there was not a thing she wanted more in the whole world, and her wish was coming true little by little with every day that they shared, making them all gifts in themselves, and she didn’t need more. Just to feel Griffin holding on to her like the skies held the stars and offered them a home for eternity.

Griffin pressed herself closer as she hummed, the low sound passing through Faragonda’s body and making all her numerous cells vibrate on the frequency of happiness and comfort that reached even the depths of her soul.

Faragonda headed out of the bedroom in search of that same sensation that she could use now, and Griffin was the only one who could provide it so she had to find her. There was just one place to look now and she walked down the corridor towards the only room she still hadn’t checked. Mostly because that one was always empty.

They had one room left that they hadn’t really needed, or perhaps had both been unwilling to use for anything else than what it had been designated for now. They’d agreed it would stay empty and untouched so that one day, if they felt ready for it, they could turn it into a room for their child. It was a symbol of the chance they were giving themselves because filling it with other parts of their lives that they’d need to throw out if they decided to become parents felt somewhat offensive both to them and to the future child they could have as it wouldn’t come as a replacement for something they no longer wanted.

They were both excited at the prospect of becoming mothers but they were still anxious and insecure in themselves and their capabilities of taking care of someone else. They both still had major crisis over mistakes they made in their relationship and didn’t feel ready to add a child to their family yet. And perhaps they never would. But the thought was present and they wanted to make sure that they’d left enough space in their lives to make it possible one day if they felt capable of raising a child.

The door opened silently to reveal Griffin who was sitting in the middle of the room cross-legged and seemed lost in thought. Perhaps even the same thoughts that had been running through Faragonda’s head. And she didn’t know how to snap Griffin out of it gently, for she didn’t want to startle her and add more fear in her heart than the one that was most certainly there already.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come out to meet you,” Griffin spoke first, so perhaps she hadn’t been as swallowed in thoughts as Faragonda had assumed. Or perhaps she was even more plagued with them and was trying desperately to hold on to the reality where she wasn’t drowning in all those questions that were made heavy with the insecurities attached to them that some aspects of the future caused to surface. “I was trying to put some order in my thoughts,” Griffin said, answering Faragonda’s unasked question. It explained why she’d chosen the empty room where there was enough space for all of her thoughts to run free until they unraveled themselves so that they wouldn't clog up her mind anymore.

“Are you scared?” Faragonda asked as she made her way to Griffin and sat down on the floor next to her, taking her hand both to give her support and remind her that she was there to take some of the burden off of her shoulders as they now shared everything. The good and the bad, the happiness and the fears too. They were together no matter what was thrown at them. And she’d come sit next to her whether it was in front of the Christmas tree that was all decorated and radiating happiness or in the empty room that lured in with a promise but scared with a threat. She would always stay at her side because that was her place.

“Yes,” Griffin nodded as she looked at her, her eyes wet but the look in them wasn’t quite what Faragonda had expected. “But I can also see things much clearer now,” she said, moving her gaze away as if unsure whether she should share, whether she was ready to, and Faragonda waited patiently for her to decide, which seemed to play a role in the outcome. “I can see myself warming up milk instead of tea and you checking the temperature to make sure it’s not too hot. I can see myself reading bedtime stories while you take out a well loved blanket from the closet. I can see you buying stuffed toy after stuffed toy that eventually turn into a pet that I never wanted but it still makes its way into my heart since it’s part of the family. I can see you buying little warm clothes and hats, and gloves while I’m picking healthy food products and educational toys. I can see this room filling with life and laughter. And I can see us both buying gifts to put under the Christmas tree even though we’d already gotten the biggest and best gift anyone could want – our family.” Griffin squeezed her hand as if to make sure she was still there and Faragonda returned the gesture to show her support. “And I think that... that I would really like that,” Griffin said as she turned to look at her. “Some day, I mean,” she added quickly, her gaze moving all around the room that currently offered nothing to hold it so that it didn’t have to return on Faragonda.

“I can see that too,” Faragonda nodded, watching as Griffin's eyes slowly found her face and her expression changed as if she was too stunned to have her wishes answered and returned. It still stabbed Faragonda in the heart with the whispers of past loneliness that echoed those in her own mind too closely for her liking but she tried to focus on the present and even the future. “The skies are ours, remember?” she asked as she reached to stroke Griffin's cheek, hoping it would soothe the anxiety in her mind as well, and it seemed to do the trick. It was a little miracle that had nothing to do with Christmas, because they had each other. And that was all the miracle they needed since their love made miracles happen all the time when they were together.

[namjoonsteeth]

A Christmas Surprise - Jay Park one shot

Jay Park x Reader

Genre: Christmas Fluff

Word Count: 2.1k

One thing about my husband that is still taking some getting used to is his habit of waking up earlier than any normal person. Unfortunately, Christmas isn’t an exception, it’s an excuse for Jay. 

“We should get up,” he says, shifting his weight like he’s going to get out of bed.

 I tighten my arms around him, holding his body against mine. Of course, I’m not actually making a difference. If he wanted to slip out of bed, he could easily do it. He settles back against me as I press my face into his neck. 

“Let’s wait until he wakes up. I’m tired,” My eyes squint against the bright Christmas lights coming from the tree in the corner of our room before I bury my face back into his skin. It’s a miracle I got to sleep last night, or every night this week, since Jay decided we needed a tree in our bedroom this year as well. 

“It’s Christmas, though,” I can hear the pout of his lips. That’s one of my favorite things about him. Usually it would work on me, but considering we were up late last night having our own celebration, I’m partial to staying in bed until our son forces me to get up.

 “It’s too early, Jay. I feel like we just got to bed,” I stretch my legs out, hooking one around his hip to remind him just how we spent the night. As if he could forget, we didn’t bother putting any clothes on afterward.

 “What if the kid and I get up and make you breakfast and then we open gifts,”

“We wrote no cooking into the marriage contract. Don’t touch my kitchen,” I tell him, a little agitated that he’s not going to let me go back to sleep. 

“Marriage contract,” he scoffs.

 “Vows. I take them very seriously. We agreed you don’t give me food poisoning more than twice and you don’t wake me up,”

“You got food poisoning once and it wasn’t really my fault,” he protests cutely. I don’t care. I’m not actually trying to be cute, he’s really not allowed to cook me any food after the great raw fish debacle of 2016. 

“Do you really want to break your vows so early into this union?” I question seriously.

 Jay blows a large breath between his lips, his mouth slapping together. You would think that he’s super excited to open his own Christmas gifts, but in reality it has to do with his son. With Miles turning four, this year we’re sure he’s a little more into the Christmas spirit than prior years. Jay’s excited for his baby’s excitement which is too cute. Still, it’s six o’clock in the morning. And as much as our son takes after his father, he hates being woken up just like his mother. 

“Give us an hour,” I try to appeal, kissing his skin.

 “Okay,” he sighs, relenting. His arms tighten around me, pulling me flush against his body. It’s not like I can go back to sleep with his antsy moving and Christmas lights blinding me, instead I try to enjoy the first hours of Christmas with him. The Holiday’s are always stressful. With him trying to squeeze as many shows as possible before the new year and me trying to get everything at home situated with enough Christmas spirit as he likes, it always feels like a race against time. This year had Jay even more stressed out. He wanted everything to be perfect for Miles.

 “The sooner we open gifts, the sooner you can go back to sleep,” He bargains.

 I take the bait knowing that he’s going to keep at it until I finally agree to get up anyway. Sighing I reach up to playfully tug at his ear. “You’re waking him up,”

“He hates when I wake him up,” Jay protests.

 “Well it’s your call because he’s worse than I am in the morning,”

Miles was always a good baby. He’d slept through the night early, never went through a toddler tantrum phase, and when he plays he’s extremely aware of his surroundings. But wake him up before he’s ready to get up, and it’s like he turns into a demon child. I get it. I’m the same way, but it’s a little inconvenient sometimes. Today, at six in the morning, Jay deserves what ever fury rains down on him.  

Jay leaves first, making his way into Mile’s room. I sit up too, reaching for the T-shirt and shorts I’d slung over the headboard last night. I’m just pulling my shorts on and slipping my feet into slippers when Jay comes back in with our sleep son in his arms. Miles is a small four year old. With his arms wrapped tightly around his fathers neck, and his legs around his waist; he looks like my baby again. Not the hyperactive independent kid he’s growing to be. I peak over Jay’s shoulder, seeing Mikes still has his eyes squeezed shut tightly, resisting any hint of awareness until the very last moment. His dark hair curls around his ears and falls over his forehead. When he sees me peeking at him, he presses his face into Jay’s neck and sighs.

 “You’re both extremely overdramatic,” Jay tells me.

 I laugh as I follow them out to the living room. Jay sets Miles on the floor and pulls out a box for him. “It’s present time,” he tries to appeal to his son with shiny wrapping paper. Miles finally bites and starts opening his gifts, eventually betraying me and not caring that the sun isn’t even up yet. Mama’s boy my ass. When he’s opened all of his smaller things, Jay pulls out the bigger box from the closet. Miles’s eyes light up cutely as he sees the miniature version of his dad’s car. I watch the two of them fawn over the toy as a round of nerves hits my stomach. Jay and I don’t really do Christmas gifts. We both want for nothing and usually just give each other what we want when we feel like it through out the year. It leaves coming up with something every year out, and lets us focus on Miles and work. 

This year, I’d prepared something. When Jay sits on the sofa and watches our son play with his toys, it feels like a good time. I reach under the tree and pull out the tiny box I’d wrapped a week ago now. Jay frowns as I hand him the gift, understandably confused.

“What’s this?”

“Just open it,” I say, prodding his knee with my elbow. I pull my lip between my teeth as I watch him remove the lid and pull out the tiny black and white picture. He holds it in his fingers, staring at every detail before his dark eyes flick down to me. 

“You’re kidding?” He says breathlessly. I can see him doing the pointless math in his head. When people have as much sex as we do, multiple mistakes happen. With us, it’s almost inevitable. The only reason I was able to pinpoint the when was after I’d gotten the ultrasound. 

“Not a joke, baby,” I say softly.

 “When?” Jay scratches at the back of his head, looking more confused.

 “You don’t remember how much you loved my Halloween costume?” I raise my eyebrows at him hoping I don’t have to jog his memory beyond that.

 “You’re kidding?” He repeats looking down at the box in his lap. My stomach rolls again with nerves. I can’t read him. It’s hard to gauge if he’s happy about the news or not. His eyes go to my belly, which is just barely showing. I’ve always had more of a naturally full figure, it would be easy to miss that there was a little bean in my stomach.

 “I thought I was just feeding you well for the last few weeks,” he says seriously.

 “You haven’t been home for the last few weeks,” I point out. “I’m pregnant, Jay,” I place my hand on my stomach tenderly, moving to sit beside him on the sofa. 

When our son was born we were prepared. We’d done it the way we wanted. We got married, spent two years with him on the road and me joining him whenever I could. Then, once we saw everything we wanted to see with just the two of us, when we’d started longing for a little one, we’d made the decision to have a baby. This one, the one that’s in my stomach, has no clue just how unplanned they are. The dichotomy is ridiculous. I’ve never known Jay to not have a plan. A new baby would be just the thing to throw him off. I can see his jaw ticking, not in anger, as he reworks the next year in his head. Jay isn’t the type to let me sit at home and do this on my own. 

“Are you happy?” I whisper, running my thumb over his high cheekbone.

 I’ve been nervous for a week now. Nervous to tell him that I thought I was pregnant, then nervous  to to tell him that I went to the doctor without him.  Finally, he reaches out for my hand. He pulls me onto his lap. His palm lays flat against my stomach, smoothing under the fabric of my T-shirt. When his skin touches mine, I finally relax. Of course, everything is ok. This is Jay. He’s got me, no matter what surprises pop up. 

“Can I be honest?” He says looking up at me. When I nod, his face cracks into a wide smile. “I wanted a new baby really badly,”

I look down at our son who has neglected his toys and put his head on the floor and is doing a dangerously looking b-boy spin surrounded by ripped wrapping paper. He’s his father’s child.

 “You think you can handle two of him? He’s more hyperactive than you are,”Jay smiles down at him. 

Suddenly, he lifts me up off his lap and smoothly transitions us both to sitting on the floor. “I think,” he starts, reaching out to playfully push the baby over which starts a war with our defensive and always ready to fight son. 

“I think, that me and you are meant to have as many kids as we can. As long as you’re comfortable with having them, I’ll always want more,”

My heart beats faster. I never had any doubt that we’d be ok. Maybe at this moment we aren’t mentally ready to have another baby, but with Jay’s fingers gentle tapping against my skin as he looks over at our son, it’s hard not to feel a spark of excitement in my chest. And he’s right. I feel it. Him and I are meant to expand our family as far and wide as we can. Suddenly Miles sits up, his head swaying clumsily like he’s dizzy from all the spinning. 

“Mommy, why did we get up so early. I’m still tired,” his tiny pink lips pout and he looks just like his father. 

Jay scoffs. “You guys would sleep the day away if I let you,”

I nudge him with my elbow, “Hey, I have pregnancy fatigue,”

“Is that your excuse, Y/n? So you’ve just had pregnancy fatigue for the duration of our whole relationship-,”

“Don’t attack me,” I smile, leaning in to press my lips against his. He kisses me back, holding my mouth against his with a hand on my chin. When he pulls back, he leans his forehead against mine. His lips pucker and touch my nose and forehead and cheek before he leans back against me. 

“Thank you for my Christmas gift,” he whispers. “I’m really fucking happy,”

“What do you think they are?” I ask him with a smirk.

 I’d asked him the same question four years ago when I told him I was pregnant with Miles. I knew I was having a boy. From the moment that I’d known I was pregnant, I knew that it was Miles. Jay on the other hand had been going back and forth before finally giving up on making a decision until the day Miles was born.

 “I think a girl,” he answers finally. 

“You sure?” I say looking down at my belly. 

He nods seriously. 

“I want her to look just like you, from your eyes to your smile. I think she’s going to be perfect,”

I look over at our perfect little boy who is bumping into the unlit fire place with his mini Bentley. He backs up a bit before lurching forward right into the edge of the marble. 

If it’s a child of Jay’s there’s no way that our baby can’t be absolutely flawless. 

[dailyaudiobible]

11/27/2019 DAB Transcript

Daniel 4:1-37, 2 Peter 1:1-21, Psalms 119:97-112, Proverbs 28:17-18

Today is the 27th day of November. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It's great to be here with you today as we pass through the center of the last week of this month. And I guess traditionally here in the United States, this a big cooking day like a big preparation day. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, which is a national holiday for us here…here in the United States and then the day after that’s Black Friday and I think worldwide that sort of kicks off the Christmas season. So, here we are right at the threshold of a busy season for us but we have a rhythm that we've established all year and we come around this Global Campfire where there is peace and where there is calm and we let God's word speak into our lives. And, so, that's what we'll do. We’re reading from the New International Version this week. Today, Daniel chapter 4. And when we get to the New Testament we’ll be beginning of Peter's second letter known as second Peter but first Daniel chapter 4.

Introduction to Second Peter:

Alright. So, as we mentioned at the beginning, we finished first Peter yesterday, which brings us to second Peter today. And the second letter of the apostle Peter is thought to be the final writing of Peter's life, but it's also important to understand that the authorship of this particular letter has been questioned, going all the way back into antiquity. The acceptance of the idea that the apostle Peter wrote this letter, that happened over time and the letter was considered Scripture by the fourth century. In the more modern era scholars have observed stylistic differences between first and second Peter. So, those who would defend Peter's authorship would say he…he was dictating…like he…he may have been illiterate...he wasn't writing these things, he was saying them, and they were being written down by a secretary. So, he just used two different secretaries who wrote down the thoughts that he was saying. But all in all there are compelling reasons to consider this letter like we do the letter to the Hebrews or the book of Hebrews as in the author is unknown, but there are equally compelling reasons to consider the author to be the apostle Peter as is named in this letter. So, if the apostle Peter wrote second Peter it would've likely been in the late 60s. A.D. and he would've been martyred shortly thereafter. And our church tradition holds that during his execution period Peter was crucified upside down at his own request and that may in fact be the true truth. The Bible doesn't verify that. It's a very long-running tradition of the church. And Peter didn't explicitly say who he was writing to in second Peter. He said he was writing to you who share the same precious faith that we have. So, we assume that he was writing to the same people he wrote his first letter to because he referred to the first letter in the second one, the one that we’re about to read. And these letters have different purposes. First Peter sought to bolster and encourage and instruct believers about how to endure the pressures that were coming against them. Second Peter will warn about false teaching and evil behavior from within. But rather than like just looking at this letter as another encouragement and try to live better, we have to know that Peter's about to die and he says as much in this letter. This is Peter, right? This is the man who walked with Jesus along the Sea of Galilee. This is a person who saw Jesus perform His miracles. This is a person who was a friend of Jesus, laughed with Him, cried with Him, lived with Him, ate his last supper with Him. And of course, we know the story of Peter. This is the man who denied Him and watched him die, but this is also the man who saw Jesus raised to life again. And this is the man who preached the first sermon after the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost and 3000 people decided to follow Jesus. So, this letter, these may be the final living words of the apostle Peter. And, so, we should give them the weight that they deserve in our lives. And, so, we begin. Second Peter chapter 1.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we have…well…we have talked about second Peter and we've begun to read it and so let’s just…let's look at what we read today for just a quick second because we have some addition, some spiritual addition to do. We’ll have to kind of unpack the introduction to this letter. The letters in the Bible…the greetings in the letters in the Bible…they’re…they’re usually really long comprehensive sentences and you’ve gotta go, “let's read that slower.” So, let's do that. “Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life.” Alright, we could just pause there and think of that for a minute. We have been given what we need to live this life. And we've been given it through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. “Through these”, through God's divine power and our knowledge of him, “through these, He has given us His very great and precious promises. So, through His divine power and through our knowledge we have been given these precious promises, so that through them”, the promises, “so that through those promises we get to participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” That's two verses and one paragraph that says an awful lot about our status as brothers and sisters, as children of God in this world. But we’re…we’re still working through this. “For this very reason. So, for the reason that we just talked about, that we get to participate in the divine nature of God because He has given us that promise, because of that, for that very reason we need to do some adding. “Make every effort to add to your faith goodness and add to goodness, knowledge, and add to knowledge, self-control, and add to self-control, perseverance, and add on to perseverance godliness, and add to godliness, mutual affection, and add to mutual affection, love. If you possess these qualities” and I'm quoting Peter here. “If you possess these qualities in increasing measure”, in other words, “if you keep adding to these things, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. Whoever doesn't have these things is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they’d been cleansed from their past sins.” That's an awful lot. I mean there's…there's a bunch here that's going on because we walk around feeling like we’re like weighted down by this…by our sins because we fail all the time. And, so, we’re estranged from God. There's so much in this that we can look and go, “okay. If this is true, this weight of sin that I carry around all the time feeling as if God is angry at me, it's an illusion, He’s not angry at me, He doesn't see them, they are not a part of my life. I certainly can choose to…to rebel in some way against God, but all of the things that have led me to this point, God has forgiven…they are not a part of my life, they are not a part of my identity anymore. So, rather than adding shame to guilt and then adding condemnation and then adding rebellion and then following that spiral down. I have a different math problem to do. I need to be adding to my faith, goodness and knowledge and self-control and perseverance and godliness and mutual affection and love. Then I will not wonder what's going on and I will not wonder why am living in unproductive life. If I'm adding these things together, I will be effective and productive in my knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ”, according to second Peter. So, that can explain a lot about the state we’re in about the status of our lives. And, so, let’…I mean there's a lot…reread it today. Think about these things. Today we’re going into a very busy season, a season that we can move through with excellence and precision following the leading of the Holy Spirit, enjoying the joy of the season and spreading that joy to everyone that we encounter or we can get bowled over and end up at December 31st, making the same New Year's resolutions we made last year. It's a big circle a year, a big circle around the sun and we can end up right where we started if we don't obey what we’re hearing.

Prayer:

Father, we invite You into that because it's just flatly the truth. We've experienced it enough times, we’ve seen the patterns, it’s the truth and yet Your word continually pulls us forward out of those patterns that are going nowhere and that has happened today. Help us Father as we move into this season to add to our faith, goodness and to our goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control, and to self-control, perseverance, and to perseverance godliness, and to godliness, mutual affection and to mutual affection, love. Then we will be effective and productive as we move through the rest of this year. Come Holy Spirit into this, we pray. In the mighty name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website and home base for what's going on around here.

And now we’re moving into the holiday season and so the Daily Audio Bible family Christmas Box for 2019 is available. We wanted to jump out in front of Black Friday a little bit just to give a few extra days for international shipments. We ship internationally. But like I was saying yesterday, the cost of shipping internationally are just really, really high. And, so, we have this arrangement where it’s a lot cheaper, more like domestic shipping, it just takes longer and take more than three weeks. So, the international cutoff date for shipping Christmas Boxes in time for Christmas will be the 2nd of December, which is a Monday. So, just a few days from now. Of course, shipping domestically inside the United States, it’s no problem. So, we’ve got…got time there as long as supplies last. In this year's Christmas Box is one of my very favorites that we've ever done because I think it centers us in the journey of a year, the rhythm of a year. And, so, the God of Your Story, this new daily resource that really is the heart, the essence of the Daily Audio Bible in book form, in written form is in the box. So, a signed first edition copy of the God of Your Story is in the box but also our new Daily Audio Bible Journal 2.0…I can…I mean…we do throughout the year talk about writing things down, and especially when we see that mimicked in the Scriptures, but I can't tell you how important it is to write things down, especially things that…that are like insights that you have received from the Holy Spirit through his word…like as you’re moving through the Scriptures. It's crazy how you can have something that actually is like a missing puzzle piece in your life snap into place and then after lunch, you’re like, “what was that again?” But it was like so important, and then it's gone. But when we write these things down, they’re there, and we can go back through a year of these kinds of insights and transformations in our lives and review these things and lock them in. So, I guess the best the best way I can say it is, if you feel God speaking to you, take notes. And, so, we have the new Daily Audio Bible Journal 2.0 in the Christmas Box this year for next year's journey. Also, some of our most popular Global Campfire items from the new Global Campfire line of resources that we released just a couple months ago. So, the Global Campfire Daily Audio Bible candle is in the Christmas Box and worked hard to get this candle to smell like campfire so that it evokes the community that we share, the Global Campfire. So, Global Campfire candle is in the box. Two of the Gobal Campfire stickers, five of the Global Campfire postcards, in a nice…nice little plastic wrap to keep them safe. The Daily Audio Bible Christmas ornament for 2019, which…well…has Daily Audio Bible 2019 on it and our word for the year which has been “Maintain” is in the Christmas box. The Global Campfire pop socket for your phone or tablet device is in the Christmas box. 20 of the Daily Audio Bible Christmas cards for 2019 and their envelopes, those are in the box as well as your choice of our Windfarm DAB blend coffee, fresh roast, it will be freshly roasted and sent to you or your choice of our boutique tea, whichever you prefer. So, it’s a great Christmas Box. It's available now in the Daily Audio Bible Shop at dailyaudiobible.com or you can get to the Shop in the Daily Audio Bible app by pushshig…pressing the little Drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner and that'll get you there.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. And I can't thank you enough for your partnership as we move into toward the end of the year. So, there’s a link on the homepage. If using you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996, Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment you can dial 877-942-4253 or just press the Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top and start sharing your story.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello Daily Audio Bible family today is November 20th and can I just say Rachel from Pennsylvania and Ben, you guys made my day. I was listening to community prayer from November 2nd and you were praying, oh my goodness, for the devil to get out of two boys heads and having voices. It is such a beautiful fresh breath of air to just listen to Ben praying. Yes, telling the devil to get out right now. I smiled all day. I can replay that prayer over and over again. Oh. Jesus said let them…let the little kids come to me. Yes. For the kingdom of God is for as such the faith of the little kids. I love this community because a lot of parents encourage their kids to come to Jesus. And it’s so beautiful when you’re here even the little kids who are calling in and praying for their friends and praying for their parents and praying for even other members of this community. Can we continue to pray for little generation to continue loving Jesus? So, Rachel I just want to say thank you for calling and for involving your little kids to also pray. Oh. I know Jesus heart is so smiling. Thank you so much. I just wanted to call and say thank you. Daily Audio Bible family this Alfio calling from Delaware. Make it a great day. Bye-bye.

Eliab, David’s brother this is Jesse’s oldest son burned with anger at David’s question and asked him why he’d come. Why don’t you just leave now go finish up those chores? Why is it that you came here and left those few sheep of yours? King David said, I’m not afraid. He went and told Saul that he was going to go and make things right. He said no, you’re just a boy I must tell you the truth you are no match for this giant who’s been trained up from his youth. David said his father sheep I have kept safe from both lion and bear. When they were up against me, I caught them by the hair. God gave back the lamb to me out of the lion’s jaws. My God who delivered me from both bear and the Lions paws, my God will do the same again. This victory will be mine. __ the living God some circumcised philistine. Saul said go ahead and try if you think you can. David knew the Lord would give Goliath into his hands. __ to give you some for protection that will shelter you from harm. Why don’t you go ahead and try my armor on? David tried to wear it, but he had to take it off. He said I’m just not used to that and went to look for some rocks. Five smooth stones he spotted shining on the ground. Stuck four in his shepherd’s pouch and in his sling, slung one around. My name is Diana Blake Davis. I have metastatic breast cancer that’s metastasized to my brain. I’m stage IV. I’m 57 but I have two autistic boys 19 and 21. God has provided everything for us. So, we need prayer and what you just heard was from Jewels of the Bible. And I took the Bible line by line and I pulled out the stories and I made them rhyme only because Brian, I’ve been listening to you every single day for 12 years and I love you forever.

Hi, Desperately Running to Jesus it’s never too late to build a relationship with our Creator and the moniker you chose tells me that you have a great mindset now. 15 years ago, I was 54 and I finally apologized to God for my sins and bad choices. I found a church that taught me how to build a relationship with Jesus. I joined a life group and met people that became the friends who…who cared about me. Six years ago, I heard about DAB and this community and the podcast that family…the Daily Audio Bible and Facebook which…where people encourage, inspire and taught me about God and other people, myself, my family. What I know is this, that thanking God and praising God every day is an essential thing to do. Asking God for guidance in everything you do is essential as well. And listening for the voice in your head that says do or don’t do what you’re about to do and volunteering in your church and or in your community will change you in wonderful ways. I am praying for you.

[singing begins] give thanks with a grateful heart give thanks [singing ends]. Hi everybody it’s Candace from Oregon. I just want to encourage you all to start listing all the things you’re thankful for. Our world is trying to drag us down, the enemy is trying to drag us and we’re thinking just about anything else except what were thankful for. Oh Lord I thank You for health, I thank You for the country that I live in. I thank You for faithful servants who keep our lives just filled with blessing Lord. I thank You for the pastors in all our churches. I pray that You’ll be with them and help them to surrender themselves completely to Your Holy Spirit as they lead Your bride, as they bring our attention and our focus back to You. Lord, thank You for Your word and that Brian Hardin reads this to us every day 365 days of the year and how it is transforming our lives. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit. Thank You, Lord for everything that You are doing. You are a good and gracious God, beautiful beyond description, too marvelous for words. Thank You for the sunrise, the sunset, the moon and the starry night. We love You Lord. We love You. We love You back. Candace from Oregon.

Hi everybody it’s Lisa the Encourager just calling to say hello to everyone. I’ve missed calling in and talking to everyone and praying for everyone, but I promise you I am still listening and I’m still praying for you. As you call in your prayers I’m praying on the sidelines. But I wanted to call in today to encourage Margo because when you called in Margo your prayer request and your message that you left, it just seemed like you were really and a sad spot since your son left and I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and holding you up high in my mind as far as everything you’ve given up. You left Australia and went to Africa and just…now you’re in a missions and given up so much of your life. And I just am so impressed with everything that you’ve done, and you’ve done it all for the Lord. And just don’t ever forget that because God is gonna reward you for eternity. And, so, what you’ve given up temporarily on this earth God is gonna reward you tenfold in heaven one day. And I’m so envious of everything that you’ve done for the Lord and hope that I will be able to do half as much. So, also wanted to encourage everyone too. I decided to buy the God of Your Story for our…my pastor. I’m going to surprise him and give it to him for Christmas. So, I just wanted to encourage everybody to maybe think about doing that too. And maybe if not your pastor then at least someone this Christmas. Just surprise them with that gift and ask God who you should bless with the God of Your Story and I think that would be a wonderful gift for anyone at Christmas. All right. Love you so much. Bye-bye.

[singing starts] How deep the father’s love for us. How vast beyond all measure. That He should give His only son to make a wretch His treasure. How great the pain our searing Loss the father tells His __. As who’s which now the chosen one bring Mary’s sons to glory [singing stops]. Good morning everybody. I greet you my Daily Audio Bible family. I’m a Dr. Kamari and I’ve been listening to Daily Audio Bible for about two years now and it has been such a blessing. And today I just want to encourage those who are perhaps going through a period of suffering whether it’s sickness, whether it’s loss, whatever it might be I want you to be encouraged that you can find healing in the wounds of Jesus. And it’s such a paradox. How can something which was broken for us produce healing and totalness and wholeness? But indeed, that is the mystery of His love. And I pray that His love overwhelms you wherever you are. I pray that even in your suffering you will learn to suffer well and by that I mean that you will know you will suffer well because you know that your suffering produces __ and perseverance, endurance, these qualities that cannot come about unless we go through to know that God is. Sometimes you will go through heartbreaks and know that He’s a healer and the mender of the brokenhearted. So, I lift you all up to the Lord and I thank you for your lives.

[ivett-toth]

New interview by hunskate with our beloved Ivett, in where she talks about her new training enviroment, new programs and other personal stuff. Translation by @fanpower98​, please don’t repost!

Ivett Tóth successfully passed her final exams so now she can concentrate on training with full power. Our olympic figure skater can start the new season with a new SEAT and supported by MOL*, after two weeks resting she started training again. We looked back to last season with her and we talked about her new programs, plans and goals.

[*N/T: MOL is a famous hungarian oil and gas company]

Congratulations on your graduation! There was a fully scheduled year behind you. How did you get by?

Thank you, I’m happy I could finally check this off. In the olympic season, when I trained in Switzerland, the school took a backseat, I couldn’t travel back home for the exams so I had to do grade 12 again. It was hard but it affected me on a positive way, where something also got my attention beside skating and didn’t overthink while training. In the last weeks I spent less time on the ice because of the exams, I usually had one practise a day. I could get to work again after the written [exams] then Vasas had an outage where, without ice, meant us a two weeks break. In the meantime I got beyond the oral [exams] so now the intensive preparation can start.

You started the last season with the Italian and the Finnish challengers. How did you evaluate your performance there?

I’m happy I started the season earlier like in the previous seasons because it made me feel calmer, I didn’t had to rush or act in haste to go through the road I planned. Thanks to a good short program, I could do my free in the best group at Lombardia Trophy and I got 7th place overall, so I got ranking points with that. At Finlandia Trophy I did a lot of stupid mistakes so I slipped really down, in the end I didn’t need that much to reach the settled goal. I learned from both competitions.

Then you had two competitions at home: you had the lead at the Halloween Cup after the short program, but you got bronze at the end, at Christmas Cup you were able to keep the first place and you won with high scores. Is the pressure bigger if you have to compete at home?

I always have some nervousness in me but it rather gives me safety when I can compete at home. Moreover they organized the Halloween Cup in Vasas where I practice day by day and since I live close to the rink I just walked to the competition. This is why it was special to me, because it was the first time I competed there. However I already got a lot of experience in the Gyakorló Jégcsarnok (Practice Rink), Christmas Cup went better because it was more than one month later and I could get in shape until then. Actually we should keep out where we compete but of course we know that at home there are more familiar faces, there are more hungarian fans in the spectators’ area which affects me in a positive way on stressful situations.

Yet before Christmas Cup you could be glad for a foreign win: you got a gold medal in November in Riga at Volvo Open Cup. How do you recall that competition?

I did my short program for the first time in the season where, when I got off the ice, I was satisfied with my performance. The free wasn’t perfect, though. But I accomplished it better than in the previous competitions. There was this feeling where for the first time I felt I was able to show for what we worked so hard that I started to find myself. It was a little milestone for me from which we could build.

However at Four National Competitions, which is also the Nationals, you didn’t do well. How did you prepare after that to the European Championships?

I’m a very nervous type of person, I have to consciously pay attention to relax even if the training went very well. Although the competition was here in [Buda]Pest and I felt the fans’ support, I couldn’t relax for some reason. I didn’t perform well but at least my performance was enough to not to have to participate in another sorting competition so I could concentrate on the training with my nerves. I knew if I keep calm and only follow my coaches advices, we can reach our goal.

This goal was to be in the top ten but at the end you managed to get the 13th place from last year. You had some trouble with the double Axel in both programs but you got an ISU season’s personal best for the free skate. You could perform before a big crowd, how did you live it through?

I was very surprised that so much people came, I didn’t think figure skating or any other ice sport is that famous in Belarus. The audience encouraged all competitors, clapped through the programs, it had the feeling like the stands were full with asian fans. I still haven’t found whys for that two double Axels, maybe some short circuit [I can’t remember the word we use in english fs fandom]. True, I haven’t got into the top ten but I feel like I managed to get better at both programs compared to last year and I think back with with good feelings to Minsk EC. Particularly to the free, I slapped into the air at the end, I felt like I did my best this time. When I looked into my coaches’ eyes, that said everything, I knew they are proud of me. Through that one year together Zsófi and Zoli [Zsófia Tokaji-Kulcsár, Zoltán Tóth] became extremely important persons in my life, there isn’t bigger pleasure than the fact I could bring them joy. These are the unforgettable memories what drives us forward in gray weekdays and in trainings and I hope we can live through more moments like this together.

After your fifth European Championships came your fifth World Championship where unfortunately you couldn’t perform your free skate. What was in you when you got off the ice and got your scores?

Between EC and Worlds I would’ve had an another competition but I got sick and I rested so much that my muscles got down so I had to concentrate on getting back to my condition instead of competing. I did succeed on it quite well but I felt the lack of the competitions’ atmosphere at Worlds. I would have liked to finish the season with a good performance but the missed jump and the stumble on the step sequence cost a lot. That hurt more that getting in the free depended on these .3 tenths but you also have to know how to handle this. With a harder heart we tried to take the opportunity that we were in Japan: we went to sightseeing in Tokyo, watched almost all the competitions and I could learn a lot from the others’ performances. We enjoyed the banquet very much and then when we came home I had to start to prepare to my final exams so I couldn’t stay dwelling on for long what happened there.

If you had to describe your season with some words, what would you say?

Maybe that that I did everything full of love and now somehow every training and every competition went easier than last year. Because I started to work with new coaches it was also a very good experience. A lot of times I couldn’t bring it out of myself during competitions what I did at practices but they always stood by me and helped me.

In May the selected ones could work with Alexandr Abt, who you could met at the competition in Riga. What gave you these four days?

He had great results as a figure skater and I already knew him by sight because I have competed many times with one of his Swiss student. Although it’s not possible to do miracles in four days he did a very good job with us, we learned a lot from him and we could get to know a fantastic person by him. We paid attention to steps, spins and also jumps, we mostly did exercises to move us out from the comfort zone and try other steps into the elements. We benefit from this a lot at practices and it’s sure I’ll build some little things into my programs from those what he showed us.

Since you already mentioned your programs: would you reveal what music did you chose for next season, what style will you come out with [this time]?

It’s important to me to stay interesting so I’m showing a new side of me again in my short program: I’ll skate to swing. It has a plenty of challenges in it but I enjoy it very much. It’s choreographed by Nóra Hoffmann and my coaches, in regards of the costume and make up still no decisions were made [T/N: the interview was in July so it’s probably done by now]. Because we performed the short many times I definitely wanted to change it so neither the judges and neither the fans would get bored. However I kept the free because I loved it and I feel I can make a lot more out of it. I haven’t had the opportunity to work with Benoit this time but we are in contact and I hope next year we can continue our work together.

What are your main goals for next season? In what would you want to evolve the most?

My main goal is to have a more balanced season, to get in shape earlier and to increase the number of my triple jumps. In the short program I would like to make my triple-triple more difficult, we will see which one is the best during practices. To the free I would like to put back the Flip, what was in it at some competitions in autumn but then we took it out. Besides this we are also working on them [the programs] performance-wise a lot and since my short was choreographed here at home and I have performed the free for a year I can practice them better.

Although you got two weeks resting, for you half of it was about studying. Do you still have the opportunity to go on a holiday to really get relaxed?

We always go somewhere with family but it won’t come together this year. I’ll have some free weekends but frankly, now I don’t feel like I need some rest. I couldn’t do intense training because of exams and I really missed the [physical] stress, I couldn’t wait to continue the practices. I really enjoy the work, I can absolutely give myself to the music we’ve found for the short and I also want to level up my free program. Based on all of what we went through last season with my coaches, I dare to say that there is “kraft”* in our collaboration and we still can show a lot of things to the audience.

I feel that I found my place.

*[T/N: “kraft” means “strength/force and Ivett used this word and I wanted to keep it. We use a lot of hungarized german words.]