#ignore if i made any typoes + die okay

[scaramutual]

to be honest a lot of this year has been me trying to stop beating myself up for liking stuff, and a big part of that is having faith in other people as well.

I think on social media and especially tumblr we're all brought into this mindset of looking at someone with a brief glance and making deductions on surface-level shit like fandoms. That gets really tiring after a while and personally I spent a lot of time believing that I'm an irredeemable person for finding value in things despite their (often glaring) flaws. I'm still trying to shake that off, but trying to be friends with people that have all sorts of weird and broad interests has been awesome so I'm thankful for all of you 👍🎉 as corny as it is, being yourself is genuinely important both for yourself and others

[dinoplantsghost]

pairing: Tom Riddle x fem! original character

warning(s): tom is a warning in itself, 1940s: time-accurate prejudice, violence: t0rture (Cruciatus Curse), teenage behavior: drama and language

word count: ~2112

Disclaimer: I have a huge google doc that holds all of my drafts and I'm quite literally just copypasting everything, so if there are any typos/errors, no there isn't!! :)

-- omg this chapter is so short but im absolutely so tired with school so this is all im dropping right now unfortunately. maybe ill drop another one after this, idfk, we'll see !!! :D

Chapter List

The Magic of Friendship [6]

Tom enjoyed his quiet walk to the Astronomy Tower. He always preferred the nighttime over day. Though, it was only during his stay at Hogwarts. Anywhere else and he would choose sunlight over all; the sirens always went off at night. 

Hogwarts had changed his perspective on life, how special it was—how finite it was. You were only given one life, and you were expected to live it to its fullest potential; and Tom was full of potential. He was destined for greatness. 

One lifetime is too short for him. He needed more; more time to conduct his plans to bring the Wizarding World to its fullest capacity. Muggles were mean, crude, and above all, ignorant. They knew nothing of what they were afraid of. They were all going to die by his doing sooner or later. Surely, in a far away universe, his mother would be proud of him. 

When he turned the corner to round up the staircase, Tom saw a blur of blue illuminated by the moon before a pair of jade was shoved into his vision. 

“Where is Patrick?” The girl asked, her frames sliding off her flat nose. “I never got to catch up with him after the Quidditch match.” 

“Nott caught a stomach bug from dinner, and so did Mulciber.” Tom said, slipping past Saoirse as he made his way to his assigned telescope, far away from the nuisance that was she. 

“From dinner,” she echoed, unaware of the sigh that fell from the boy’s nose. “Are they okay? Maybe I should go check up on him—well, them—after class.”

“That won’t be necessary, they’ve been admitted into the Hospital Wing already.” 

Saoirse’s brows furrowed. “I know that tone; that’s the same tone my father uses when he’s lying. Why are you lying to me, Riddle, what happened to Patrick?” 

Tom fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Darling, why would I ever lie to you,” he said condescendingly. “All of this concern for a boy you just met; I dare say you fancy him.” 

“I don’t fancy him, whatever that means—” 

Saoirse was cut off, a tall and awkward man standing behind her in the shadows of the night. “You two,” Professor Jensen said. “Why haven’t you started your assignment? Class started ten minutes ago.” 

“Our apologies, professor,” Tom hummed pleasantly. “Unfortunately, Saoirse’s partner has fallen ill, and we were merely discussing temporary arrangements until Nott is better.” 

Jensen nodded, his shoulders relaxing at Tom’s soothing words. The boy always had a way with adults. “Well, then,” he smiled. “I’m glad Riddle is kind enough to offer assistance to you, Miss Saoirse; five points to Slytherin.” 

Saoirse couldn’t focus anymore after Riddle’s sass. The rest of class was silent between the two, their hands occasionally passing by as they reached over to grab something. She enjoyed it more when Patrick listened to her talk about whatever she felt like chatting about at the moment. It helped her practice her English. 

She was nothing but worried for him. Surely, he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut around someone as temperamental as Riddle, right? Whatever the case may be, she only hoped she didn’t find the boy dead on the ground somewhere. 

“You know,” Tom muttered, his first words after the first hour or two of class. “Nott is awfully fond of you; he’s been reading in the romance genre lately.” 

Saoirse’s cheeks turned hot, brighter than the moonlight that reflected off her cheekbones and forehead. “That’s not a funny joke, you know…”

“It’s not a joke; it’s the truth. He’s usually by himself most of the time, but now he spends all his time with you. It’s amusing to see, actually.” 

Saoirse scoffed, “Well, I think that’s really sweet of him. Of course, you wouldn’t get it; you don’t seem like the type to believe in love or anything romantic. I actually can’t believe that girls waste their time with you.” 

“At least they have good taste.” He muttered, his ego flaring until fading away immediately when Saoirse whacked his arm.

 TR~S 

The first smell in the Slytherin dungeons that fills the nose is the pungent, stagnant water lingering from the dripping sewage pipes. The wear and tear of the castle is very noticeable since the school keeper deliberately avoids dirtier places that need more work than usual. However, the students of green and silver try their best to maintain the elegance that comes with a pureblooded community. 

The interior of the Slytherin common room differed from its outside completely; with pristine furniture and glistening marble columns, it was the home of a tight-knit group, often used for gossip and other disparaging remarks that are meant for the common room and the common room only. 

Somehow, by some miracle, Saoirse was able to convince Tom to let her in the snake den. She was too determined, too worried about Patrick and his friends—well, more of Patrick than his friends. 

The culture surrounding the Slytherin’s fascinated her. When she walked into their awfully green living space, Saoirse saw a couple of upperclassmen standing by one of the many glass windows that protected them from the Black Lake. Looking on and into the murky water, Saoirse saw merpeople waving their hands at the children, forming signs. 

The Ravenclaw shook her head, stomping her way to the left staircase that wrapped around the bulky statue of a man whom she assumed to be Salazar Slytherin. Remembering Riddle’s words, she walked down the hall to inspect each door, finding the one with the silver number of thirteen before knocking softly. 

“Hello? It’s me, Saoirse.” She waited patiently, nibbling on her nail folds before the door swung open, a weak and defeated Abraxas frowning at the girl. 

“What do you want?” He asked, his voice so unlike his usual tone of pride and ignorance. His hair was oily, slicked back and pushed behind his ears as bandages sat on his face and neck. 

She walked in, gently moving the taller boy out the way. “I heard what happened, so I came to see you all.” 

“No, don’t look at us; we’re ugly…” Groaned Eloise, his pillow muffling the sounds of his growing pains as it sat on his face. 

“That’s just what you look like, Avery.” she sighed. “Where is Patrick?” 

“He’s right there,” Abraxas said from behind, walking around to lay back down on the bed already occupied by Miles. “He knocked out cold after Tom left; he usually doesn’t get punished, so he isn’t used to the pain.”

Saoirse frowned, slipping her flats off before sitting at the head of Patrick’s bed. Her weight caused the duvet to dip, his limp body following its contours. With gentle hands, she picked up his head to rest in her lap as her fingers lost in his hair. She took his bent glasses off his nose and set them down on his bedside drawer. 

“Does Riddle always lash out like this?” She asked quietly, her wand in hand as she slowly healed his wounds, from the small scratches littering his skin to the large bruise under his left eye. 

“Not usually,” Orion uttered, “but it’s always harsh whenever it does happen; he has major problems.” 

Miles chimed in, his body rolling over to face the girl. “He used the Cruciatus Curse, if you’re wondering. It feels like a bunch of knives and needles are being stabbed into you all at once. It makes you lose track of time after a while.” 

Saoirse nodded, her eyes tracing the lines of Patrick’s pale and sickly face. “Why did Riddle get mad anyways?” 

She was met with silence from the boys. 

“Well, it’s complicated.” Louis coughed, his hair out of its usual tight bun as he rested on Cassius’s shoulder, who just so happened to be sitting next to him. “Tom was angry at us for not doing what we were supposed to, and he was mad at Patrick for hanging out with you.” 

“Why would he care who Patrick is hanging out with?” 

Eloise sighed. “Because we’re supposed to be ‘focusing on other things’ as he put it…like how we’re supposed to be looking for the Chamber of Secrets—” 

The rest of the boys, save for Patrick, groaned in disbelief as their friend was too delirious to realize his mistake. 

“Excuse me—Chamber of Secrets, what is that?” Saoirse asked, confusion written all over as she watched Abraxas throw a weak attempt at hitting the heir of Avery in the face, his deflated pillow plopping onto the floor. 

“It’s something Salazar Slytherin made when Hogwarts was built long ago.” Abraxas said. “The other founders: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, and Rowena Ravenclaw, had differing opinions from Salazar concerning half-bloods and Muggleborns. He harbored resentment towards anyone without a pure magical lineage, and so he created the Chamber of Secrets to house a monster that was supposed to rid the school of those he deemed unworthy of magic.”

“Why are we telling her this, this was supposed to be a secret.” Pressed Orion. 

“There’s no point in keeping it a secret, she’s already involved; it’s Eloise’s fault anyways.”

“I’m sorry that I feel like my head is about to explode, chicken boy.” Cried Eloise. 

Saoirse sat in thought, contemplating the information she was fed. Riddle, who made it his mission to be calm and collected, the epitome of gentlemanly perfection and the poster boy of Hogwarts, was merely a boy loyal to his peers and had major anger issues, it seemed. Why he was determined to open the Chamber himself was unknown to the girl, but he was playing his cards wrong. Riddle was driven by emotion in times of stress, as seen by how weak and fearful his posse was. Patrick was still out cold, Lestrange and Malfoy were hanging off the bed they were laying on, Black was sagging into a fluffy, oblong seat; Avery was on the bed diagonal from where Patick’s bed was, face down, and Rosier and Mulciber were in their own world directly across. 

“Does Riddle force you all to do things for him,” she whispered, breaking the silence between the group of boys. “Why do you put up with him? These abusive outbursts seem to be commonplace.” 

“Because at the end of the day, we trust him; he’s our friend.” 

Saoirse felt the weight on her lap shifting, causing her gaze to follow. Patrick sat up slowly, palms on his sheets in search of his glasses. The girl was quick to hand them to the boy. 

“Tom,” Patrick continued. “is very complicated, to put it simply. We know that we shouldn’t put up with his anger—his obsessions, but he has good reason to be obsessed. He promised us that he would do the world good, and if that means a few punches and spells here and there, then I would do anything to make sure his goals are accomplished.” 

The other boys made affirming sounds. Louis pulled away from Cassius, his back straighter and his eyes brighter than before. “Before we met Tom, we were nothing but a bunch of rich boys with a reputation to uphold. In our families, there are definitely other people our parents are proud of. But with Tom, he gives us hope; a purpose. Tom has pushed our boundaries time and time again, only to prove that we are worthy of our names, of this privilege he’s given us to be his followers—the Knights of Walpurgis.” 

Saoirse hesitated to speak, her thoughts running many miles an hour before she opened her mouth. “If I became one of his followers,” she started. “Would that help? I don’t like that you’re all beat up, Patrick.” 

The boy in question stuttered, “What? No, I don’t want you involved, Saoirse.” 

“Actually, it would help us,” said Orion. 

Everyone turned to face the melancholy teenager in the corner of the room. He leaned forward, forearms pressed against his knees and his palms clasped together. He blinked once, then twice, until Eloise stupidly made a noise of acknowledgement, slapping his forehead and then regretting it immediately as his head pounded against his skull. 

Avery tossed in the bed, his hands in prayer as he knelt in Saoise’s direction. “Please, lady of the exotics, I beg of you! Aid us with your pretty magic ways and your dainty, womanly touch; heal us!” 

As Saoirse begrudgingly raised her wand, Patrick sat beside her with a heavy heart. “Saoirse, please don’t tell me you’re thinking about joining,” he whispered. “The things we do, what we stand for—it’s nothing you want to be involved with.” 

“I can handle myself, Patrick; nothing bad will happen.”

Credit(s): Dividing banner (^^^) by Chen Lu (1436 - 1449) - "Plum Blossoms in Moonlight" scroll painting; sourced through Pinterest

[karkallicious]

Homestuck as random bullshit I've said EB: someone's gotta tell betty crocker to lay off the cocaine.

EB: i’ve seen michael cera more times than i’d like to today.

EB: i'm sure ben stiller is a decent guy irl but if given the choice between being shot or watching all of his movies i'd ask about the bullet caliber.

TT: Women only want me for my skills in the occult and not my great personality or awesome ass...

TT: That sounds like an issue you should take up with Freud.

TT: But when someone add's apostrophe's to any word that end's with s? You went out of your way to add those. Ignoring your spell check screaming and crying. A tear rolling down the cheek of your elementary school teachers.

TT: Sometimes I'll see an incredibly minor typo and have to resist the urge to be the most pedantic person known to humanity.

TT: This is eldritch horror fucker discrimination.

TG: you dont just take someones obama prism away man

TG: i draw the line at rapping muppets dude

(when questioned as to why $100 was spent on a sword) TG: uh. well. it's a sword.

TG: well it doesnt sound as hilarious to review dildos and say "this one is sans" when you guys are this unenthusiastic

TG: if i ever die play caramelldansen at my funeral TG: theres no sentimental reason or anything TG: i just want to completely throw off the vibes

GG: i’m on board with men in maid dresses regardless of furry status coward

GG: home alone so things are getting pretty wild (talking to a cactus)

GG: local bitch takes "worst nap ever" wakes up several hours later sweaty and somehow more tired

(extreme cold warning in effect, active blizzard outside, sent at 7:18 pm) GG: my grandpa and i are going to dairy queen just for the hell of it

GG: I was gonna get shit done today, so I made a pie.

GG: The only explanation I had for my impromptu dessert making was “This is how I deal with stress...”

GG: Getting genuinely invested in the Cookie Clicker stock market.

TT: (watches toddler trip and fall) skill issue

TT: I frankly think it's a tragedy disney hasn't remade more movies but with muppets.

TT: They're just like "yeah okay dark lord with a robot army we all know you have a ponysona"

TT: I don't make a habit of looking at US political figure anime boy mpreg.

(while holding a katana and talking to a poster) TT: Do you think I make too many impulse purchases, Hatsune Miku?

TG: if not meant to claw grip kitty head why kitty head so holdable

TG: "it's a bad omen when a black cat crosses your path" incorrect, my day has just been significantly improved by seeing a kitty

(on fruitcake) TG: listen you have to pour alcohol into that shit until too many pieces could have you stumbling. great grandma knew how to party

GT: My amusing mugs have had the side effect that today my grandma asked me if she should go full goblin mode or if I wanted to.

GT: You don’t ask questions when a game makes the bold decision to sexualize a t-rex.

GT: Thinking about the time we played a murder mystery game as a family and I got way too into character as a victorian era author.

GT: I'm still disappointed about the time my zoo camp didn't get to watch the tigers being fed because like 15 tornadoes were headed towards us.

GT: Hey lads I just almost accidentally blinded myself.

AA: i love ritualpastas. i like to figure out at what point i would fail and probably get my skin turned into a throw rug or smth

AA: (skelet0n v0ice) hey bitches

AA: oh i have demons in me now thats fun

AA: d0 gh0sts c0unt as pe0ple?

AA: there would be teeth scattering like a fucked up sprinkler

AT: tHIS ISN'T ABOUT PORN ANYMORE IT'S ABOUT MAKING MORE POKEMON COMPETITIVELY VIABLE

AT: i’D LIKE TO THINK I’M NOT OVERLY EMOTIONAL BUT JUST NOW I ALMOST CRIED BECAUSE I REMEMBERED THE SOUND PORCUPINES MAKE AND I REALLY WANT TO HUG ONE BUT DUE TO THE NATURE OF PORCUPINES I CANNOT

AT: i CAN FAINTLY HEAR A CHICKEN IN MY NEIGHBORS’S YARD,,, wHAT

AT: i JUST SPILLED HOT COFFEE ON MYSELF AND APOLOGIZED TO THE BARISTA PROFUSELY

TA: my neme2ii2, biilly bob rockafiire. iit wa2 dark iin there.

TA: (dub2tep play2 a2 ii collap2e on the floor)

TA: ii don't thiink ii've giiven a fuck iin 2everal year2

TA: at thii2 poiint ii’m a2kiing the computer iif iit want2 a blood 2acriifiice

CG: *PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS AND IM NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT IN NINTENDO GAMES WHICH I PLAY DUE TO THEIR MORE CALM NATURE*

CG: IMAGINE THE MOST LOUD, DISAPPOINTED, DEFEATED SIGH YOU CAN. ON MY BEHALF.

CG: I WILL FUCK MYSELF OUT OF SPITE. IT WILL BE AN ENDLESS FEEDBACK LOOP, AN INFINITE ENERGY SOURCE, OF SPITE AND SELF FUCKING

CG: "THAT'S A PROBLEM FOR FUTURE ME," I SAY, FORGETTING THAT NOW FUTURE ME HAS TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM

CG: UGH THIS PLACE IS FULL OF PEOPLE AND THEYRE ALL STUPID AND I HAVE NO ONE TO VOICE MY GRIEVANCES TO OUTSIDE OF THE INTERNET.

AC: :33 < you meow in theory catgirls would probably eat anything smaller than them based on actual cat behaviours

AC: :33 < i at one point went out in public with homemade cat ears and a tail and tbh it wasn’t that bad. like sure people might judge but it turns out being cringe is being fr33

AC: :33 < *bap bap bap bap bap*

AC: :33 < i just wanted to try something but discovered the owo extension was twagically wemowoved. a woss fur evewybody

AC: :33 < today i said "you will be exiled for your baby crimes" because my cat was messing with my sketchbook

GA: If You Wouldnt Fuck A Vampire Minimum Youre A Coward

GA: I Use Amazon The Least I Can Out Of Spite That They Took Away My Favorite Fabric Store

GA: My Aesthetic Is Vampire Aligned Not Ghost Aligned I Dont Wear White

GA: I Am Going To Forcefeed You An Entire Fucking Dictionary

GC: 1 DON'T CONDON3 CR1M3S GUYS. UNL3SS TH3Y'R3 FUNNY

GC: TH3 ONLY V4L1D CH4NG1NG LOGO TO R41NBOW FL4G TH1NG 1S WH3N TH3 SCP FOUND4T1ON DO3S 1T

GC: 1T’S TH31R F4ULT TH3Y COULDN’T H4NDL3 B31NG D3C4P1T4T3D OFF1C3R >:]

GC: DON'T D13 DUD3 TH4T WOULD B3 D3C1D3DLY UNG4M3RL1K3 OF YOU

AG: remem8er kids: no matter how 8ad things get, at least you’re not the middle dude in a human centipede. pro8a8ly.

AG: spider furries: “88w88 what’s this?”

AG: may god have mercy on your 8ones because I won’t

(about a ripped cat plushie) CT: D --> we can rebuild him. we have the technology.

CT: D --> why must being cool come at the cost of being really sweaty

CT: D --> that's a horse... with an ass on both ends...

TC: WhY wOuLd YoU bUy *ShRoOmS* oN *eTsY*

TC: SoRrY wRoNg PoSt I wAs TrYiNg To ShArE cLoWn MiLkInG

TC: “AnY lAsT wOrDs, PuNk?” “HoNk”

TC: I hAvE aCtUaLlY eAtEn LeMoN sLiCeS aT rEsTaUrAnTs As ThE wAiTeR wAtChEs In HoRrOr

CA: i wwas nevver invvited to any high school parties. they might havve happened. i just wwas not invvited

(about invasive fish coming onto land) CA: i knoww this is an envvironmental hazard and all but let’s face it it’s a little funny

CA: i havve an spqr hat and i lovve it but also don't wwant people coming up to me like "you knoww wwhat the romans did right" like if i did not knoww a god damn thing about roman history i wwould not be wwearing the hat

CA: i'm a slut in theory. in practice i am not vvery good at it.

CA: anyone wwho thinks i'm insufferable for acknowwledging that i'm not unattractivve is ignoring all the other perfectly vvalid reasons i'm insufferable.

CC: one time I managed to make ocean puns back and fort)( wit)( a friend for like an )(our and I t)(ink our friend w)(o was also in t)(e car actually contemplated krilling us

CC: starfis)(... are mermaid nipple clamps

(Sends picture of a horde of goldfish) CC: my entourage

[holyfvkc]

ts stans still hate demi? even after their recent positive interaction? i guess its bc demi is "a flop" and "wants to use taylor", bc they are still hyping up olivia when shes against taylor now just bc olivia is also successful. or they're "taylena" stans and we know no one hate demi more than selena stans lol.

Naaah, in the real world, caring about charts isn't a thing.

It seems to me that people are still stuck in time, some of Demi's comments made in 2014 or 2015, I don't remember exactly, it's like, almost exactly 10 years of this shit, Demi was 22/23 years old, I'm 23 years old and the amount shit I said this year and regretted it, it's impossible to describe on paper, life is a constant learning process, I always liked Taylor (and still do!) but it was thanks to Demi's comment about the "squad" that I realized how much looking up for models contributed for my eating disorder, TAYLOR ADMITTED THIS YEARS LATER (and I still struggle with this shit), let's not act like the video and the whole context that Taylor created with bad blood MV wasn't extremely problematic too, fuck, like, Katy Perry was extremely stalked by fans and Taylor kept silent about it, regretted it years later and as redemption, invited Katy to a music video.

I believe the main reason is Scooter Braun, and c'mon, Lovatics despites him too, but ts fans ignore or refuse to understand that Demi went through a literal near-death event, overdose, 3 heart attack, abandoned by her career team, rap3d, left to die own their own by her former career team career, Demi must have felt like they owed Scooter a lot, after all, he was the one who reached out to Demi when no one else wanted it...

I don't think Selena has much to do with it, obviously, Demi has already stated that she has great feelings for Selena and that they just aren't friends anymore and it's okay, life is made of cycles.

Sorry for any typos

[rjalker]

#hold on genuine question (for op or like anybody i suppose)#why is this a topic? like seriously i don't get it and ive seen another poll like this before too#like i think it/its pronouns are supposed to be defined by the individual. like thats the purpose of neos#but whats the point of trying to classify it as something when thats basically the reason half of us are using the pronoun#(not conforming to societal ideals and not necessarily needing a label? is basically what im saying)#idk if someone wants to explain it a little bit to me please do bc i dont get it.#i just think this is pretty pointless like who cares if it/its is a neopronoun or not. people can classify it as they will#its there a problem with calling it a neopronoun that im unware of?? sorry i really just dont get it#or a problem with Not calling it a neopronoun??#genuinely would like to talk to someone about why this is a topic though

first off as a warning there's probably a bunch of typos here beacuse I just got new glasses for the first time in years and am currently literally seeing double.

mostly because a lot of people want to insist that certain pronouns (including nounself pronouns) aren't really neopronouns, because they don't like them, and they want things to only be considered neopronouns if they're like,,,,,,,respectable enough. Using star/stars/starself pronouns isn't considered respectably by these people, and neither is using it/its/itself pronouns.

Also because a lot of people just pretend that real life people who use it/its pronouns don't exist, so therefore it's not a problem when we get misgendered or when fictional characters who use it/its pronouns get misgendered.

A lot of people -- including binary trans and other nonbinary people -- will jsut straight up say that if you use pronouns other than she/her, he/him, or they/them, then they will not use your pronouns no matter what. This is the hill they're going to die on . They will not use your pronouns if you use anything other than she/her, he/him, or they/them. If you use nounself pronouns (like star/stars), they'll misgender you. If you use novapronouns (things like ze/hir), they'll misgender you. And if you use it/its pronouns, they'll misgender you.

A lot of people who are even okay with novapronouns and nounself pronouns wll flat out refuse to use it/its pronouns for people. I've had several people tell me to my face IRL that they're never going to use my pronouns, and I have to just pick a real set - she/her, or he/him, or they/them. They're not going to call me by my actual pronouns because tehy don't like the pronouns I've chosen for myself.

I made this post because the other post on the same topic let anyone vote, including people who don't use it/its pronouns, which is just inherently going to include people who hate people who use it/its pronouns.

I made this poll because I wanted to see what other people who use it/its thought of it.

I consider them to be neopronouns, because I consider any English pronouns other than she/her and he/him to be neopronouns, because those are the ONLY Acceptable pronouns in this language right now, even inside the Queer and trans communities.

People who use they/them pronouns are more likely to be accepted in Queer spaces than people who use any other neopronouns, and people who use it/its are, in my experience, the ones lwast likely to be respected even compared to any nova or nounself pronouns.

People tend to gloss over and ignore people who use it/its pronouns, even in instances where they're supporting people who use nova or nounself pronouns.

here's a link to a post I made about the different types of neopronouns.

and the coining post for the word novapronoun, because so many people disparage nounself pronouns by trying to exclude them from the category of neopronouns.

what it boils down to is this:

people who use it/its pronouns are ignored and erased at every turn, even within the Queer, trans, and nonbinary communities, even with people who are fine with, and use, nounself and novapronouns. People who don't use it/its pronouns who want to argue we shouldn't be included in the neopronoun community are usually doing it because they think we're an embarassment or going to make them look bad.

I'm aroace and I was here for the whole ace exclusionism harassment campaign, and I don't feel like doing that again but now with pronouns.

This is a poll.

This poll is meant exclusively for people who use it/its pronouns in English. If you do not use it/its pronouns in English, you can only use the "show me the results" button, which is the first option AND the last option.

You can use it/its pronouns with combinations of other pronouns and still vote, you just have to actually use it/its themselves in English.

You do not have to be trans or nonbinary to use this poll. The only requirement is that you use it/its pronouns in English.

I'll list the options out here before we get to the poll itself to help those with screenreaders since apparently polls just list all the options at the very bottom of the post:

Option 1: I don't use it/its, show me the results

Option 2: I use it/its, I think they are neopronouns

Option 3: I use it/its, no, I do not think they are neopronouns

Option 4: I use it/its, I do not know if I think they are neopronouns or not

Option 5: I use it/its, I do not care if they are neopronouns or not

Option 6: Option 1: I don't use it/its, show me the results

[Plain text: "If you use it/its pronouns, do you consider it/its pronouns to be neopronouns?" End plain text.]

@it-its-culture-is can you signal boost? Thanks :)

Feel free to reblog even if you don't use it/its!

[moemoemammon]

Following that "least favorite" request could we get their reactions to being to told that they're their favorite, but to not tell the other brothers so their feelings don't get hurt? Maybe because they relate to them the most or just get along really well. Thanks!

You're My Favorite! But Don't Tell the Others-

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

There are no words to explain the overwhelming satisfaction ion Lucifer’s face after you tell him that. Of course, it’s only natural that he would be your favorite, all things considered.

The Avatar of Pride won’t ever forget this moment. He carefully considers your words and agrees not to tell anyone, as much as he’d love to bring it up, because he knows more than anyone what kind of chaos would ensue should the others (especially Mammon) find out.

But they can tell something’s up when the eldest has been heard humming all day. He moves about the house with even more grace than usual, and hasn’t scowled even once.

But the REAL shocker was when Mammon tried hiding a bill right as Lucifer walked in... and the eldest let him off with a warning. A WARNING! The brothers thought the Devildom must’ve frozen over, but you and he knew different.

“MC, I would like you to accompany me to Le Pluvier this afternoon, once you've finished your studies. I've already made reservations, so be sure to get ready on time. I've made sure to consider the things you might like to eat, so I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. Don't be late." "...I'm grinning? I don't know what you're talking about."

Mammon

The gigantic grin on Mammon’s face is so bright, it could rival the sun. You’ve seriously made his day. No, his year. Actually, he’s pretty sure he could ride this high for the next millennia! There’s nothing in this world that could dampen his spirits right now! 

He feels like he just won big at the casino! Of course he’s your favorite! He WAS your first demon, and now he’s gone and claimed his rightful spot as your number one! Good luck trying to keep him from saying anything. Mammon’s gonna throw it around in everyone’s faces for as long as he can milk it.

And you thought he was clingy before, just wait till you see how he treats you after hearing that. Despite always calling you his ‘servant’ or his ‘human’, you’d  think your roles were reversed. Mammon spoils you every chance he gets, buying you clothes and trinkets, filling the spaces in your room with the things he knows you like, monopolizing you completely until nearly everything you own is a gift from him.

Your words also help soothe that jealousy of his a little. Only a little, though. It’s easier to watch you talk to other demons when he knows he’ll always be your first man.

“Didja really have to stay after class that long? I know you were talkin' to that demon that lent you a book, but you outta ask ME for stuff! Tch... you're lucky I'm in a good mood today! But I guess I don't have to worry about some low level demon like that, seein' as I'm your favorite!"

Levi

Wait wait wait....Come again? Did you seriously just say what he think you said..? That had to be a mistake! Some kind of...uh..verbal typo! Because there’s absolutely, positively, NO WAY in all of the nine layers that he could be your favorite demon. And yet you still insist that you’re telling the truth, and Levi feels like he’s died and gone to heaven. 

Red faced and stammering up a storm, Levi looks like he might die. Is it really okay for a shut-in otaku to feel this giddy? Seriously, he hasn’t felt like this since he got his hands on a signed copy of a Ruri Hana audio drama! No no, this definitely beats that!

You’ve managed to inflate his nearly nonexistent ego, and now he feels like there’s nothing he can’t do! Maybe he could even go to Majolish right now?? THAT’S how good he’s feeling!

Almost as bad as Mammon in keeping it a secret. He doesn’t tell anyone right away, but they’re suspicious when they notice how much time he’s spending out of his room. And then when he and Mammon get in another petty argument, he drops the bomb that he’s your favorite demon in the entire Devildom, and you can guess how things go from there.

“Uuuoooo...!!!!! I've decided..! Since I've got a serious stat buff, I'm going to open a booth at the next convention coming up..! I'll sell my Ruri-chan fan art and spread her influence all over the Devildom! I'd never have the guts to do it normally, but I feel like I could do anything right now! Y-you'll go too, won't you MC?"

Satan

You nearly made this man spit tea all over his book, and now he’s coughing and spluttering and trying to figure out what could’ve prompted what he’s taking as a confession. You.. do realize what you’re saying, don’t you? And you know the kind of effect your words have on him?

Satan isn’t the type that wears his heart on his sleeve, so you have to look for his subtle expressions to tell how he’s feeling. But there’s nothing subtle about the redness of his ears and how he’s begging you not to look at him right now. For the sake of his sanity, give him a minute to recoup.

When he does recover, he agrees to keep it a secret for obvious reasons. And it’s hard to tell that he’s in a good mood, other than the fact that he hasn’t tried to pull any pranks on Lucifer lately. But Asmo sees all, and literally hounds him into spilling the tea.

He tells him a lie of course, but now the other brothers are noticing just how happy he is. Satan's smiling way too much today, isn't he? And he didn't even get mad when Beel got whipped cream on his jacket! Well, not THAT mad, anyway.

"Haaah... everyone's been harassing me all day, claiming I'm smiling a lot. I'm sure I look the same as I always do, but I'll admit that I've been happy ever since you told me that this morning. Wait.. you did think I've been grinning too, do you? I have??"

Asmo

Asmo always jokes about being your favorite and announces it as if the two of you are married, but when you actually confirm that his longing for you isn’t one sided, he ends up smearing lip balm across his cheek in shock. Did you... really say that just now? He knew it all along, but hearing it like that is just...!

Ooooh, he’s so happy he can hardly contain himself! Asmo throws his arms around you, peppering your face in kisses until you feel sticky from lip balm, wipes your face clean, then marks it up all over again. Good luck getting rid of him, because he might never let go.

Immediately posts it to Devilgram. Did you really think he’d let such a momentous occasion go unannounced? You must not have been paying attention to the kind of person he is! Asmo would put you on a pedestal in front of the world like a precious jewel if he were able, but this’ll have to do. He won’t hide his love at all!

Of course, the others don’t take too kindly to it, not that he cares. He never leaves your side, pampers you like crazy, and has even attempted to get you to move into his room. Lucifer put an immediate stop to that, though. Boo...

“I just can't get enough of you, MC! Just being near you gets me so excited that I can hardly stand it! You'll take responsibility for what you're doing to me, won't you? And in exchange, I'll take my time showing you just how much I love you. After all, you're my favorite, too!"

Beel

Beel never has a problem with choking while he eats, and it comes as naturally as breathing. Unfortunately neither of that applies right now, since you just made him choke on a meatball sub.

He usually takes your words with quiet acceptance, but this might be the most emotion you've ever witness from the stoic demon. His eyes are wider than that time that laid on an entire gingerbread mansion, sparkling up with such deep emotion you wouldn't be surprised if he cried. Instead he softens up and immediately embraces you.

...And doesn't let go. Sandwich long forgotten, he's been carrying you around all day, and ignoring any questions or protests from his brothers. Also insists on feeding you throughout the day. The food tastes better when he can enjoy it with you, so why not just bring you everywhere?

When he isn't carrying you, he's following you around subconsciously, either close up against you like a protective wall, or just far enough that you're within his line of sight. As far as not telling anyone, he... tells Belphie immediately. It was an accident though, since there's not much he keeps from his twin.

"MC, I won a meal ticket for Godevil Chocolatier. Let's get something for dessert today. Ah, you can get as much as you want, too. I really want to see what things you choose. They might become my favorites."

Belphie

There's nothing in this world that can wake Belphegor from his sleep, unless he allows it. No loud noises, no amount of shaking or smacking, and not even dragging him around the house. But the moment you whisper that he's your favorite demon, the Avatar of Sloth is wide awake.

Hey, you're not just saying weird things to get a reaction, are you? Because if so, this is a new level of cruel. Yet you confirm that you mean it and swear him into secrecy, and Belphie tries his best not to show how happy he is. A smile keeps creeping up on his face that he struggles to force down. It's annoying...

As funny as it’d be to tell everyone the news, he's good at keeping secrets. Instead, you've noticed that he's been sleeping a little less that before. When he does take one of his hundreds of naps, he finds some way to be closer to you. He's even been seen sleepwalking to your exact location somehow-

It's hard for him to believe that you're not teasing, though. How could HE be your favorite demon here? Belphie doesn't do anything special to win you over, yet after everything he put you through, you like him enough to deep him your favorite?

"You're weird, MC. I mean... me? I won't deny that I'm really happy though, but I guess I'm in disbelief. You should spoil me even more until I believe you. Lend me your lap for a few hours, okay?" "...I wonder what Lucifer would think if I told him, heheh."

[the-illiterate-pirate]

pucci x shy prisoner

(okay putting my newest rule aside for this one because we've been talking in PM's)

HI I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THIS WAIT, FOR GD REAL. I tried pulling all of my brain cells together to finally finish this but I'm still upset about the ending 😭 I'm gonna go hide in a corner. But FINALLY I can at least go back to the Gyro fic...

That's Life

Warnings: alternate universe... Soft Pucci, everyone's happy :))) And special guest stars by people you didn't expect. I'm too embarrassed to reread for typos

You weren't supposed to be here.

You knew that, your so-called family knew that, your backstabbing ex knew that, everyone in the prison knew too, but no one gave a damn. They most certainly didn't throw you a bone once the judge slammed her hammer down and sentenced you to twenty years either.

You were alone, broke, with no one in the outside world to interact with or help you. You were flying blind in this corrupt hellhole where everyone saw you as easy pickings for food and "solids". You were sick of it. Every night you slunk back into your cell with new bruises and targets on your back. Every. Single. Night. You just wanted to die.

You didn't expect the prisons church and priest to be any different. Probably just another guy looking for some quick cash spouting crap about heaven or whatever, but you didn't have anything else to do for the morning. It was a reluctant "might as well" on your prison bucket list.

You sat down in one of the farthest pews. There wasn't much of a crowd today, or any day you guessed. Maybe you and four others, with a blond in a gaudy paisley decorated suit in the front. The pews were rough wood that was uncomfortable on your ass, but you did your best to ignore the stinging bites at your skin.

Let's just get this over with, it came out as a sigh rather than a real sentence.

Creepy organ piano music lulled through the room as you all waited patiently for the priest to arrive. It was getting nerve-wracking. You couldn't call yourself a religious person. Although, your family had gone to a few Christan churches during your childhood. Was a Catholic church any different? Oh God, were they going to make you stand up and sing?

No, hopefully not. The organ panned out, and the restless conversation between goers died down. With hands in your laps, they all quieted down for the priest... Ah, there he was.

...

Oh. Oh wow.

What was the least creepy way you could have said that this priest– this man before you had the appearance of a literal angel?

With beautiful skin, the purest white hair that reached down into facial hair, and golden trimmed robes. He was beautiful. Enough to even make you do a double take.

He walked out purposefully onto the stage before you all, expensive shoes softly clacking against the wood. To his podium to settle behind his open book of scripture. He welcomed you all in a voice like melted chocolate that poured down from above to cover you completely, so sweet and warm on the ear. He was Father Pucci, and he began his sermon.

The Father's words touched you like none other. His melodic voice echoed the slightest bit in the room but that only made his words reverberate inside you worse. That morning he spoke on forgiveness and sin. It was a well know piece of the bible, how Jesus died for our sins so the people could be forgiven in the eyes of God. Father Pucci told you that you too could be forgiven, if you gave yourself to God for redemption. Your heart felt like it skipped once his soft eyes fell to you. It was like the priest was talking to you directly. You felt connected to this man in someway. Those eyes... They were, if not more then, just as beautiful as the rest of him. Dark onyx hues with crossing highlights, like nothing you'd ever seen before.

It was a quick service. Father Pucci finally closed his book, carefully, and with a bow thanked the people for coming. "I hope to see you all at next week's services." His smile was small, cute, and pleasant to look at. "If any of you wish to stay behind to help clean up the church, it's greatly appreciated. Have a great rest of the day." And he left behind the stage curtains with a final bow, leaving only you left starstruck on your pew. The men and women leaving the church were paid no attention from you as this priest's soul left you stunned.

His words seemed to ring with truth, it didn't feel at all like he was lying to you, like he really did care about the wayward souls in this prison. It was... Enlightening. Your heart ached, you wanted to know more about this priest and what he does.

He... He said he needed help cleaning the church, right? Shit, you might be worthless but you could damn well carry a broom!

You peaked behind those heavy curtains to find the priest. He was setting aside his bible and turned once he realized he wasn't alone. He smiled. And god, that smile seemed to brighten everything around him.

"Good evening. What can I do for you?"

"I... I, uh." Tongue tied. Shit, did you really need to act tongue tied right now? Swallowing, you tried again. "I was at the service. You...You said you needed help cleaning the church after hours... and I wanted to help. If that's okay, I-I wouldn't want to get in your way." It was habit to make yourself a smaller target after speaking. Even in childhood you were always fearful of angering your elders. It didn't help that this man was towering even bent down with eyes that stabbed.

But as he turned to meet your eyes, you saw that he held no poison. He looked so positively overjoyed to hear you offering your time to him. His smile... Oh, it looked so sweet hanging on his lips.

"Wonderful! I'm so glad to have you here. Might I ask for your name?"

You gave it to him, albeit nervously. It was strange how sweetly he talked to you. The priest shocked you farther by taking your hands in his. You couldn't help but notice how soft and warm they were. Strong, but gentle, and... Big. What was wrong with you?

"Y/n... I'm so glad to have you here, devoting your time to the church. Lately it's only been me and my siblings cleaning up back here, but I know having you with us, it'll go by much more smoothly! Let me show you around."

His words were just so sweet. It was a strange feeling to have such sweet things said to you. Any time he said your name your heart did another flip in your chest. In became normal to hide away in the church during every day of the week. The guards caught on to your new relationship with the priest, and left you alone... You were still an easy target for your cellmate and other prisoners, but you could look over that. Maybe... Maybe powering through their bullying and threats was worth it if you got to come back to Father Pucci every day, see him so happy and hear his sweet voice.

Yes, yes it was.

It was nearing your second week of donating your time to the Father and his two siblings. They both had left earlier, and that left you alone with the priest.

Not that you though about it a lot.

No, you wouldn't let these growing feelings show, as much as you cared for him, you couldn't let him know. The church came first to Pucci, you knew this, so you reminded yourself everyday. Even if it kept your mind occupied most of the time and got you in trouble.

"Ow."

You dropped the the candelabra you were dusting gently back on it's table. Shit. Shit shit shit. That's a lot of blood for such a small cut. Your pathetic sound of pain got Pucci's attention. He stood from what he was cleaning off the floor to check on you, worriedly calling your name. "Are you alright?"

Don't take his attention from the church. You reminded yourself. Church is more important.

"Y-Yes, everything is fine. Just go back to your work, I'll take care of this."

"Y/n, you don't sound well, you hurt yourself again, is that it?"

"'s just a cut, I'll get it fixed."

Oh, okay. He's guiding you to a sink now. This is okay.

Pucci took one look at your palm and shook his head.

He gently placed it under running water. It stung your open wound, and the only way Pucci could console it was a gentle squeeze to your wrist. There wasn't much he could do right then, he cleaned the wound and wrapped your hand up in gauze. He was as gentle as ever with you in that moment. The heat of his hands on your skin left you feeling warm in the face, but hopefully the shadows of the building were enough to hide it.

"There," He smiled softly and slowly rubbed his thumb along his work. "It isn't the best, so I think you should go to the hospital wing to get it checked on when you can. You're dismissed for the day."

"B-But– it's not that serious! Really, I wanna stay here with you!"

Pucci looked exasperated, "Truly, I admire your tenacity, but your health is much more important than this dusty old building, I can take it from here. Please don't worry." He wouldn't didn't let you speak up again, he stood you up and now led you to the exit. You felt miserable, like a berated puppy being lead outside. And yet, your pulse kicked into overdrive at what he said. "Your health is much more important.".... Was it heresy to think this priest cared about you more than the church?

"Thank you, Father."

Pucci tsked from behind you. He lead you out but didn't push you away. You both stood in the exit, his hand still around your shoulders and holding your wounded paw. "What did I say... About calling me that,"

He took your hand up to his lips, it felt like your heart stopped in that moment. His lips ghosted over the gauze over your palm like he was kissing your cut. His lips... Plump and so very pretty moved against the cloth as he spoke. "I want you to call me Enrico when we're not at the lecture. That's my name, I'm your friend first and priest second." His lips curled into a smile against your palm. Sweet with hints of something evil as your cheeks heated up. This man surely knew what he was doing to you. He didn't let you go even as you squirmed in his arms, flustered and just wanting to hide in a hole.

Your fighting stoped as Enrico moved your hand away and kissed your cheek. Quick and simple. Surely, if you were any weaker you would have melted into the ground. Only then did Pucci let you out of his arms, asking you kindly to head immediately to the hospital wing. Dazedly, you agreed and scurried away like a zombie on a leash.

He kissed you. The priest– Enrico just kissed you. Twice! Was there something you weren't seeing?

You checked over your shoulder where he stood. He was still looking at you... Once his eyes met yours, he gave you a smile and wave before heading back. Your heart still thrummed against your chest at his every move. Maybe some things weren't meant to change. But maybe... Just maybe you did mean more to Enrico then you originally thought. Now that wasn't a bad idea.

[spookiekewchie]

look what you did

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Characters: ex!Steve Rogers x woc!reader, sugar daddy!Loki x woc!reader

Summary: Steve's choices have consequences that he's too late to realize.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: angst with a satisfying ending, mentions of Steve x Peggy, general language warning, non detailed smut, name calling, mild violence, calling Peggy out for her faults, calling Steve out for being an idiot, Steve is selfish and kinda a jerk in this, me ignoring canon because I can, I think that's it

A/N:  I'm an idiot that listened to a song (Girl Like Me by Jazmine Sullivan) and ended up writing something that I swore I'd never write and that's endgame Steve leaving the reader for Peggy. But it's okay because he suffers in the end. Also for the sake of this Loki didn't die in IW. Also shout out to @syren-tara & @lafayette103 for helping me decide on Loki for this. Anyways, all mistakes are mine so pardon any errors or typos I'm sure I missed a few. The divider is by @firefly-graphics

for translation purposes: elskan = darling

DO NOT repost or translate my work anywhere. Reblogs are always welcome, and let me know that you enjoy my fics.

In all your training and avenging nothing ever prepared you for this. You had fought killer robots, aliens, the government, and yet Steve had you stood there, dumbfounded and sure that you hadn’t heard him correctly.

“Ha, ha. Jokes over, and I’m no longer amused.” You replied, Steve just stood there silently, eyes downcast like he couldn’t even look at you. Like he felt guilty.

You could feel the cracks in your heart as the fissures began to spread, the only thing holding it together was a glimmer of hope that what Steve had just told you wasn’t really what he was planning. You looked over to Bucky, and the sad resentment in his eyes said it all. Steve was leaving the both of you behind to go chase some skirt he had a crush on back in the forties.

And just like that the hope died, and your heart cracked. You didn’t even realize the hot tears streaming down your face until a shocked gasp choked its way out of you and finally drew Steve’s eyes up to your face. “No, honey please. I-I don’t want you to hurt. I just...this place isn’t for me, and nothing’s felt right since I came out of the ice. I love you, I do, and I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you I just…” He didn't finish his statement, so caught up in his reasons for running away that he hadn’t realized just what he was saying to you. Bucky had though, and a strong hand had clamped down on Steve’s shoulder to silence him as Bucky looked warily to you.

“Nothing’s felt right?” You repeated, how fast had you cycled through your emotions just to land on anger? You weren’t sure but hearing Steve’s selfish excuses suddenly made you grasp onto anger and hold so tight to it that it was all you could feel. “But you had no problem fucking me, and telling me how much you loved me. Or telling me how good I was for you. I was your good girl wasn’t I Steve? That’s what you always called me. Guess I wasn’t good enough, certainly not better than some bitch from the forties that hired Hydra scientists, and let a Nazi regime infiltrate SHIELD, that didn’t see anything wrong letting a black man be tortured and forgotten to history.” Yeah you’d never been a fan of Peggy’s once you’d found out about that from Steve, and the fact that he was willing to just blindly look over her glaring faults and run back to her was too much. “You realize that intentionally or not she played a part in Bucky being used as Hydra’s attack dog for decades right?” Briefly you looked to Bucky who just looked even more hurt to hear it said out loud. But you could see the way Steve’s jaw set when you dragged your gaze back to him, it was the sign that he was frustrated but willing to see something through regardless.

That was when you understood. Nothing you could ever do for him or to him would be enough to make him stay. He was willing to give you up for a woman he’d only ever shared a kiss with.

“I get that you’re upset, but you aren’t being fair to h-”

“Get out.” You didn’t let him finish, didn’t let him try to defend her in your presence while it was your heart that was shattering into pieces because of him. “Get the fuck out, Steve. Don’t worry about the apartment. I’ll sort it out, and as for all your shit, I’ll just throw it out in the trash where it belongs.”

His mouth fell open as if he wanted to say something else, but Bucky just pulled him away. Muttering to the blonde that he’d made his choice and now it was time for him to live with it.

You didn’t go with Bucky to say goodbye, you had nothing to say to Steve. He’d chosen another woman over you, and it was all you could do not to fall in the self deprecating thoughts of what you could have done better to make him stay. You eventually did though, a week later you’d caught yourself standing in front of a full length mirror as you judged your body and tried to find the flaws that might have made Steve not want you any longer. When you realized it you cursed yourself, because fuck him. Fuck Steve for doing this to you, and making you doubt yourself like that. And fuck that good girl shit, it clearly didn’t get you anywhere with him.

You were angry again, and you knew you’d end up wallowing in it if you didn’t get out and do something to take your mind off of it. So you called Sam, and threw yourself into missions with him. And when you weren’t doing that you were with Bucky drinking as the two of you pretended you were both alright. At some point you ended up in his bed, tangled in his sheets as the two of you used each other to try and forget the hurt that Steve had inflicted on the two of you. It happened only a handful of times before the two of you put an end to it, neither of you felt that it was fair to yourselves and you both needed to find better ways to move on. You stayed friends, and thankfully it wasn’t awkward between the two of you.

Then came the arrival of Loki in New York, and the city seemed to be gearing up for another fight only to find themselves placated with apologies, donations, and his efforts to help the people living in the city. It wasn’t long before it was like the attack on New York never happened all those years ago. You supposed the world had bigger problems to deal with, and if Loki wasn’t causing more then they were all too happy to forgive his past transgressions. You, however, hadn’t been so easy to win over, so while Bucky and Sam were dealing with the Flag Smashers you made it your personal mission to keep an eye on Loki.

He was amused by your insistence that he was up to no good, and your simmering hostility that you couldn’t entirely pass off as your own. Part of it was some misplaced lingering sense of loyalty to Steve. He’d never liked Loki after the attack, and he wasn’t happy to hear about how Loki hadn’t been kept imprisoned on Asgard. Somehow Steve was still influencing you even when he wasn’t there. You didn’t even realize it until the day that Loki dared to pin you to a wall and challenge your reasons for why you insisted on needling him and threatening him if he stepped a toe out of line.

“Is it because your precious Captain didn’t care for me that you linger around waiting for me to do something wicked?” He had whispered the words mere inches away from your face as you glared into the brilliant blues of the god. You didn’t want to think about it, because truthfully New York had been so long ago and seemed like such a blip on the radar compared to everything that had happened afterwards. What he said next though knocked the wind out of your sails. “Or perhaps you’re hoping I’ll do something wicked to you.” He breathed with a smirk.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything as your brow furrowed in silent anger.

“Don’t think I don’t know why you’re so bothered by my presence, elskan. I see the way you look at me when you don’t think I’m aware.”

Shit shit shit. It was something that you hadn’t wanted to acknowledge, but it seemed that Loki was intent on making you do just that.

“Your precious Captain left you for another woman, why waste time with being loyal to a man that didn’t think you were good enough to stay in the present for.” It was cruel, and it hurt to hear. It had hurt so much that you hadn’t thought when you slapped Loki across the face. Tears brimming in your eyes that you refused to let yourself shed anymore tears for Steve Rogers. “Such anger you have, elskan. Go ahead, let it out.” That taunting smirk was back on Loki’s face and it caused something in you to snap.

You dragged him in by the lapels of his expensive suit, and claimed his lips in a heated kiss. It was all teeth and burning anger that you had been burying for nearly four months. Nothing about it was soft or sad, not like it had been those few times with Bucky. You were rough with him, nails clawing and dragging against whatever part of him you could reach. You paid little care to his expensive garments, ripping them asunder and leaving them tattered as you worked him out of his clothes. And he was equally just as harsh with you, your shirt and jeans were in scraps in seconds, the matching bra and panties under it weren’t even spared a glance before they met the same unfortunate fate. There was no sweet foreplay, no loving kisses, no soft touches, just Loki’s digits stretching you out and making you come apart before he was shoving his length inside you with a harsh grunt. You lost track of time then, of all the different ways you let him take you, and of all the places in his lofty penthouse that he fucked you in. You let Loki use you, and Loki let you use him, let you get it all out of your system and gave you a reason other than Steve to let tears stream down your face as he fucked you the way only a god could.

That was how it started, and somewhere along the way things shifted. It wasn’t just about using Loki to forget about Steve, it turned into actually enjoying the god of mischief. And all the gifts and attention he showered you in only served as further incentive to let your little tryst continue. You’d joked with Loki about it one night, calling him your sugar daddy. Of course he wasn’t exactly sure what that phrase meant but when you explained it he hardly seemed upset at the prospect of being used for attention and gifts. After all he was using you for sex and companionship, and according to him if he had the means to spoil you then he saw no point in not doing so. That was the extent of the conversation between you about your relationship, and you didn’t question it or let yourself feel bad about it. You’d had enough of feeling bad, and after Steve you weren’t even sure if you wanted anything deeper than what you and Loki were willing to give at the moment.

It was bliss after that, a whole eight months of you and Loki enjoying the relationship you’d built. And then one day an unexpected visitor showed up on your doorstep.

You should have asked who it was before you answered, but you had been expecting Loki to pick you up for that evening's date. What you hadn’t expected was for Steve to be standing there a year later on your doorstep looking at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. God what you wouldn’t have given to have him look at you like that months ago. Now all you have is confusion and bitterness for the man in front of you. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What? No hello, babe?” He teased, and your vicious glare sobered him up in an instant. Clearly the lighthearted approach wasn’t the way to go here. “Right, I don’t deserve that after what I did.”

You scoffed as if that weren’t abundantly obvious while you pulled your phone from your purse to text Loki about this new development. “How did you find me?” You questioned, and Steve had the good sense to look embarrassed at going through the trouble to track you down.

“I called in a few favors when I found out that you moved out of our place.”

“Of course you did, why are you here?”

He didn’t say anything at first, just looked at you for a moment before sighing heavily. “I came back for you.”

You’re surprised enough by the admission that you looked up and met his gaze only to find yourself comparing the blues of his eyes to Loki’s.

“I spent a year with Peggy, and all I could think about was you. I thought, well I thought a life in the past was what I needed but all that time I couldn’t stop thinking about the things you said about her that day. It-it, uh...it got to the point that I couldn’t even look at her, and I realized that I was never in love with Peggy. It was just the idea of her, and I was an idiot that gave up something great with you for something that wasn’t even real.”

“And it took you a year to realize that?” You questioned, brow arched as you inspected your fresh set that Loki had paid for earlier that day. The thought of how the sparkling green and gold of your nails were going to look so good when your fingers were wrapped around Loki’s cock later brought a smirk to your lips. Unfortunately Steve thought the expression was for him.

“Well no, it took me two months, and I thought that maybe you wouldn’t want to ever see me again, and that I should just stay and make the best of things. I couldn’t do it though, I missed you too much, doll.” You could hear the hope in his voice, and the petty bitch in you wanted nothing more than to crush it like he had your heart a year ago.

“You should have stayed.” You replied simply, the sight of Loki’s car pulling up in front of the house he had paid for. “I moved on, and I honestly have nothing for you but resentment.”

Steve’s hopeful smile fell at that, his head turning to follow your gaze. He scowled at the sight of Loki sliding gracefully from the driver’s seat and stepping around to lean against the side of the car so he could watch the two of you. Steve wanted to stomp down there and wipe the self satisfied smirk from Loki’s lips but he knew it wouldn’t look good if he attacked the god with no just cause.

“Yeah, I heard about that. Buck told me you and Loki had gotten cozy while I was away.” His tone held bitterness, and it made your heart soar with joy to know that he was unhappy.

“We’re a little more than cozy, Steve. Who do you think bought me this house?” You couldn’t help but throw it in Steve’s face. Once upon a time he talked about marrying you and getting a house for you two to start a family in. Knowing that Loki had done that for you because he wasn’t there to make good on his promises had his jaw clenching so hard that he could hear his teeth creaking under the pressure.

“So you’re dating?”

You rolled your eyes, it honestly wasn’t his business. “We’re something, if you must know. Loki gives me what I want, I give him what he wants, and we’re both happy with that. Now if you don’t mind getting off my porch, I have a date.” You were ready to dismiss him, but Steve wasn’t ready to end the conversation so soon. He wasn’t ready to accept that you had moved on from him, and to Loki of all people. This wasn’t what he’d come back for and it was making him angry to see you so happy to indulge in something so superficial and empty with someone as dangerous and cunning as Loki.

"I don't understand, why are you acting like this? I came back. Doesn't that mean something after what we shared? How can you act like you don't care about me anymore?"

Was he serious? Was he delusional? You weren't sure which it was but your already thin patience was at the end of its rope. "What don't you understand, Steven?" He flinched at the use of his given name, you only did that when you were angry. "You abandoned me for another woman, made me feel like I wasn't good enough, the fact that you realized you didn't want her and came running back doesn't make up for what you did. You fucked up, and I stopped caring about you months ago. Seeing you again is nothing more than an unpleasant surprise." Your words stung his pride and you could see it plain as day reflected on his features. In his anger and hurt though, Steve's next words were just another nail in the coffin.

“You know what he’s done, you know he’s a killer and you’re still willing to play his happy little who-” Steve’s words were cut off abruptly by your hand colliding with his throat, and your knee coming up painfully between his legs. He crumpled to the ground with a pained wheeze, fuck he had forgotten how fast you were.

“Fuck you, Steven. I know what he did, and I don’t care. Hurts doesn’t it? That’s exactly how I felt when you ignored all of Peggy’s bullshit and still left me for her.” You spat, glaring down at the man you had once wanted a family with. “You don’t get to have an opinion on what I do, who I do it with, or how. You forfeited that right when you ran off to play house with Peggy. You don’t get to break my heart, and then come back to judge me for how I chose to fix it, you selfish bastard.” You pulled your front door shut behind you with a slam, locking it quickly and stepping around Steve so you could stride your way towards Loki. “If you’re here when I get back I’m calling the cops, I don’t want to see you again.”

Steve coughed, hurt, guilt, and shame all flooding through him as he watched you walk away from him and into Loki’s embrace. Anger bloomed in his chest when the god took the time to press a possessive kiss to your lips while his hands roamed freely over you before he finally opened the door to usher you into the car.

“Nice seeing you again, Captain. Have a nice night, I know she will.” Leave it to Loki to rub salt into an already gaping wound.

Steve could only glare as he slowly righted himself, he had done this. He had left you for something he didn’t even end up wanting, and he’d pushed you right into the arms of another. Now you were happy and it wasn’t with him. That was what hurt the most, and the thing that made him sick to his stomach. He should have listened to Bucky back then and stayed, and he should have listened to Bucky now and stayed away.

[kuromochimi]

From Yesterday

XXII: Again

Suna x Reader smau

♡ You were particularly fond of collecting antiques and by some twist of fate, you ended up buying an antique box filled with mysterious love letters. Trying to find the person who wrote the letters, unexpected detours and bonds were made. Something more was found. And even more at risk of being lost.

Previous

Series Masterlist

Content & Warnings: angst, fluff, alcohol drinking, suggestive (and possibly sexual) themes, college setting, use of curse words, mutual pining eventually. Please tell me if I missed any! Pls ignore time stamps! Excuse my typos too

“Mayu asked me to back off”

It took suna a minute to let your words sink in. “I- what did you say?” He looked at you expectantly. “What do you want me to say, rin?” “I want you to stay” you couldn’t say that his answer shocked you and you hated the fact that no matter how complicated everything was right now, his words still made you feel like fireworks were set off in your heart. You were about to tell him that things won’t be the same overnight but before your could speak, he beat you to it. “yn, I know I have to earn things back. Your trust, your feelings. I’ll start over if you want me to. Just don’t leave me again. I know now, I don’t love her, not anymore. Not at all. And I’m sorry that you had to deal with my issues and her issues. I’ll choose you over and over but I also know that I’m still healing from what happened with her before so I-“ ; “Rin, it’s okay, that’s enough. I understand. But let’s take it slow, okay?” Suna nodded. “Let me fix everything.” He softly said. You reached out your hand to grab his, giving it a firm squeeze.

Taglist:  @littlegirlblackheart @darlingkuroo @rintarhoes00 @bakugouswh0r3 @ntimacy @lilith412426 @kenmaslov3r @maadaaaa @yshaaarin @goob-4546 @rintarovibes @ivana-an-iguana @moonlit-island @everytimeswift @ghostlyarcanum @a-katsukitty @kleeixe @kurosin @iworshipyelena @erinoikawa @littlemochi @dominikmagnus @akaaaashit @ahnneyong @stffychn @encrytpta @vivianwritess @daninaninani @certifiedsunarintaro @pagkaiin @liv-laugh-die @rietvellld @youngestdelacour @winunk @advocate-thoughts @gojoussunglasses @xmyshya @sumebreaks @annonymous-writer-wannabe @creepykawass @rat-p1ss @fairybnha3 @slothqween3 @anime-meme-sanctuary @whitebread-wasian @iamapotat @heizenka @tjjjrsj 

[in-the-name-of-styles]

Need You.

Author’s Note: Hello! After answering tons and tons of asks, and explaining how Tumblr had deleted the second part “Please Stay” to my one shot named “Only If” for god knows what reasons. I had to do this for you guys. I stopped writing years ago, and but kept my masterlist open for you to come and read my writings whenever you wish to. Trust me, this was so effing difficult for me to do! but I’m kind of proud that I removed the time and managed it. but let me inform you it’s not the same, because I do not remember what happened in the original one clearly. I hope this is a better and hopefully more well-written (amongst my other writings *cringe*) version of the old one.

It’s not proof read. I haven't edited it, so I’m sorry in advance for the typos. 

So, guys, gals and non-binary pals, I present to you (apology for it being light years late) the part two to your favourite little creation of mine “Only If”, with a new identity... please welcome “Need You”!

Do let me know how it makes you feel in the ask box or comment section. I love reading them. Happy Reading!

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: tons of angst with tons of fluff, sensitive harry???? (or do you guys call it sub!harry nowadays??) anyways it’s a cute!harry :P !

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It’s been four hours, and you still weren’t back. Though it wasn’t new for you to go for a drive after an argument with him, you often came back within an hour or two. The blizzard outside was making Harry quite anxious. Even though the fight was extreme, he wanted you back safe and sound. He now realised how harsh he was on you. You didn’t intentionally leak the song. It was a mistake and it could happen to anyone, himself included. He felt guilty over the way he yelled at you; it wasn’t like him to react like that.

Suddenly, Harry felt the need to do something special for you. Though he planned on apologising to you verbally, he wanted his actions to prove it too. He made his way to the kitchen to cook you your favourite meal. He got a hold of his phone and switched on the playlist which include all the songs both of you enjoyed. the sound of the vessels clucking against each other minimised over the song playing on through the speakers.

A smile lit up on his face as he reminisced back to the moment when you were dancing to this song while making the two of you breakfast.

FLASHBACK

Harry rubbed his eyes as he walked down the stairs, his dimpled smile already making its appearance when he heard your voice blasting through the kitchen entrance. He didn’t know why you bothered turning the song on so loud, you were anyways going to be louder. He stopped at the kitchen entrance, a silent laugh escaped him as he leaned against the door frame and took in the scene going on in front of him.

“You say you want a good time! Well here I am, baby, here I am, baby” you belted out loud, cheeks turning red with the happiness radiating out of you. You’d decided that the whisk was your microphone of choice with batter stuck to it and everything. You’re moving those luscious hips which drive him crazy right to the rhythm of the song.

“Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me talk to me, tell me what's on your mind!” you missed a note but you don’t care. This scene right in front of him, he wished he could capture and watch it forever. Bruno Mars did bring a wild side out of you, and he couldn’t bring himself to be jealous of the multi-talented singer. He would give anything to see you like this. Knowing you’re the shy type who doesn’t enjoy too much of attention, getting to watch you like this was definitely a sight.

He walked right up to you and wrapped his arms around you slowly. You jumped in a scare, as you were lost in your own world. “Harry! You scared me.” You complained, trying to ignore the blush on you cheeks after you realised he must’ve been watching you from a far.

He nuzzled into your neck and sighed, while pressing a kiss there, “Hmm… I’m sorry, m’love. But you just looked so beautiful I didn’t want to stop you.” He murmured while pressing more kisses to your neck, then trailing them up to your jawline. “Y’ look utterly ravishing right now. Forget pancakes, instead I’ll have you for breakfast.” He smiled and went on to kiss your cheeks. His comments made you smile. He saw his chance and lightly bite the side of your cheek. You squealed and tried to push him away.

“H, stop!” you laughed. He tightened his arms around you and swayed to the beat of the song then went on to sing next lyric “Tell me baby, tell me, tell me baby what you tryna do!” he slightly lifted up your t-shirt and moved one of his hands under it, and muttered, “huh? What are you trying to do to me, baby?” and pressed yet another kiss to your cheek.

“Gosh, your hands are extremely cold!” you gasped. He then turned you around to face him. You instinctively wrapped your arms around him. The two of you smiled quietly towards each other, then he leaned down to kiss you properly. You shifted one of your hands into his the nape of his neck and the other went on to cup his cheek. He moved one of his around your shoulder and the other around your waist. Both of you sighed and bathed in each other’s presence.

“G’morning, froggy” you teased as pulled away first and smiled up at him. He frowned and tutted, then smacked your ass lightly. You always teased him for his morning face, said it looked like a cute frog. He rubbed the area he spanked and quickly pecked you once again before pulling away to look at you.

Brushing away the hair stuck to your face, “Morning, precious. How’re you feeling?” he asked, hugging you towards his chest. Let’s just say the rest of the day went on just like this. Him being needy for your attention, and you loving on him without any hold backs.

END OF FLASHBACK

Right as he was getting ready to plate the dish, the doorbell rang. He smiled, happy to finally have you home. He quickly washed his hands and walked up to the door as he rubbed his hand dry with the towel which was once on his shoulder. He buzzed you in thinking you’ll unlock the main door with the security code. But after two minutes of waiting and not seeing you walk through the door, he turned on the camera above his buzzer to see what was wrong.

He frowned when he saw two police officers standing outside his door. His heart suddenly started racing at rapid speed. He rushed towards the door and unlocked them. Coming face to face with the two sombre looking men, he tentatively asked, “G’ evening, officers. How may I help you?”

The two men exchanged looks and the tall one replied, “Sir, there has been an accident and we found an ID on the victim. Is this Ms. Y/N Y/L/N residence? we’re here to inform you about the unfortunate event.”

“I-I don’t understand? What happened?” he stuttered, his legs almost felt as if they were about to give up.

“Unfortunately, we don’t have much information for you. May we ask what’s your relation to the victim?” the other officer asked, and gave him an apologetic smile.

“Fiancé.” He cleared his throat, trying to calm himself down. He could feel his panic attack rising. “I’m her fian-” he shook his head, “Just tell me where she is please…” he pleaded and quickly put on his shoes. He took his car keys and raced up to his rover.

“She’s over at St. Thomas, Mr. Styles.” The officers had clearly recognised the distressed man. “Here’s her ID. We hope everything is well.”

Harry couldn’t bring himself to thank them as he started his car and backed out of the parking spot. He raced up to the hospital, and once he reached, he ran up to the reception.

“Y-Y/N Y/L/N? S-She just c-came in? I’m her f-fiancé?” He gasped out your name. The lady was busy tending to others to notice him. “Hey! Hey! Please ma’am just tell me where she is!” he was on the verge of weeping in front of her.

The old lady looked at him with a bit of annoyance, “Take a breath, young man. I’m trying my best here!” She walked up to him. “Now tell me, what was her name again?”

“Y/N Y/L/N!” He rushed. He couldn’t stand straight. Once he got what he wanted, he ran towards the elevator, up to the fifth floor. The corridor was busy and he couldn’t care less about pushing people aside. He just wanted to get to you as soon as he could. He found your door and barged in, not caring about the doctors around your bed.

“Y/N!” He rushed to your side, dropping beside your bed.

“Sir you can’t be her-” the male nurse tried to pull him back.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, precious!” He cried, trying to get the man off of him and get back to you. “I’m here now, okay? I’m not going anywhere- GET OFF ME. SHE NEEDS ME!” he yelled pushing the guy away.

“Hey man you’re no good to her at the moment yeah? Let the doctors do their job!” the nurse tried to make him understand while pulling him back yet again. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to reach to you. He sobbed over your state, blood was streaming down your forehead, and all he wanted to do was protect you and wrap his arms around you.

“No I need to be here! Please let me!” he cried. All of sudden a beep brought his cries to a halt. He looked around frantically wanting to know what had happened. “W-What’s wrong?!” he hiccupped.

The doctor and the nurses around him started rushing around the room. He then heard those words which made his heart stop, “She has flat-lined! Someone pass me the defibrillator!” the  doctor raised his voice.

Harry couldn’t believe this was happening. The nurse had enough of the unwilling man and pushed him out the door, “Sir we cannot help her if you’re being difficult. Please calm down and go to the waiting room. We will inform you about her doing as soon as we can.” and then shut the door to his face. Harry could no longer see you. The group of doctors, covered your body.

He slid down the wall next to your door and sobbed into his hands. Only if he would’ve stopped you from leaving. Only if he would’ve told you that he forgives you and that he loved you more than anything. Only if he would’ve let the argument die and kiss you instead. Only if…

Later, the upset man walked himself to the toilet. He caught his reflection in the mirror. He didn’t care about his red swollen eyes, his sweaty forehead and matted hair. The image of you lying on that bed yet again brought tears to his eyes. The thought of you not making it made him retch and he rushed into one of the restrooms. He dry-heaved and cried. Once he was able to breathe, he took out his phone.

Sniffling as he dialled the only number he could think of, The voice on the other side made him breakdown. “Mum I-” he couldn’t complete his sentence, as he tried to wipe his eyes.

“Harry? Darling what’s wrong?!” she asked shocked at her son’s rapid breathing.

“Y/N s-she is- Mum I can’t lose her. I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have let her leave. What if she doesn’t make it?” He wept while running his sticky fingers through his hair.

“Love, what-” she tried to ask him, but he cut her off.

“What if she…What if she dies, mum?” he cried and coughed.

His mother had figured out by now that you were not okay, and might be admitted in the hospital. She tried to calm her son through the phone. Unfortunately, she wasn’t near him and by the time she would reach it might not be enough. So she did the only thing she could once Harry hung up the phone, she rang up his friends.

Harry sat himself down on one of the wating room chairs. No one was telling him anything, he had no idea how you were doing or if you were okay. He was out of tears, and soon enough the exhaustion took over him. He didn’t even realise when he had fallen asleep until he felt a hand brush the back of his head. He opened his eyes and saw his two friends crouching in front of him.

“Hey buddy…” Louis smiled softly. Harry jolted back up, and got up to run towards your room. But before he could stand up straight Mitch stopped him. “H, they just came in here to inform us about her condition.”

“How’s she? Is she okay? Is she awake? She needs me, I need to be beside her.” He rushed. His two close friends, tried to calm him down.

“They said she’s stable now, mate. But we aren’t allowed to meet her yet, okay?” Louis stated.

Harry took deep breaths and looking at their extremely destressed friend, Louis pulled him into a hug. Getting the comfort he desperately needed, Harry started sobbing again. He was tired of crying but he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

“Everything is going to be okay, Harry. She’s our little tigress, she’s going to pull through, yeah?” Mitch ran a hand drown his friend’s shoulder. Harry nodded lightly and tried to slow down his heart.

48 Hours Later

It’s been two days, yesterday Harry was allowed to visit you since they moved you out of the ICU. Thankfully, your internal recovery was rapid, and you could wake up anytime. He was getting a bit impatient. He wanted to see you open those shiny eyes and look at him the way you always did, with so much love that made him giddy and flustered. These past two days he’s been talking to you, continuously apologising for his behaviour, and how he’s going to make up for everything that went wrong. You just had to come back to him.

“and then Louis got frustrated because Mitch was not answering him. But that’s Mitch for you, right?” he slightly smiled and ran the hand which wasn’t holding you hand, through your hair. “You’re going to hate your hair, once you wake up. You always like them a certain way, don’t you? But don’t you worry, I’ll help you wash your hair as soon as you wake up and come back home.” He stated and kissed your hand. He was silent for a while, just continued to run his hand through your hair.

“You’re going to come back to me, right precious?” he asked quietly, “Why aren’t you waking up, huh? Your froggy needs you to open your eyes....” he continued, as he forced a laugh out of his throat which had a huge lump in it. His eyes turned misty as he continued, “I hate it here. Seeing you like this is a nightmare. I miss you so much. I miss you calling me annoying little names. I miss you smacking me when I’m being a narcissistic little prick. I miss your voice. I miss everything about you, and even though it’s just been two day, I feel like it’s been forever. Wake up, baby. Please…” he pleaded.

As the day turned into night, Harry decided to stay back. He asked for an extra blanket and a pillow for his makeshift bed on the couch. He didn’t know why he bothered because he spent the entire night sitting beside you, holding your hand as he fell asleep leaning against it.

You could listen before you could see. The only thing you could hear was the air conditioner and someone lightly snoring against your right hand. You tried to move your fingers as you opened your eyes. The bright light made you squint, you blinked rapidly as your vision cleared. You turned to your right and saw Harry’s peaceful face sleeping against your hand. You felt the need to clear your throat, and your eyes searched the room for a glass of water. But the sound made Harry wake up from his sleep. He lifted his face and wiped the little drool from his face and the little amount on your hand.

“whoops, you’d kill me now if you were awak-” he turned to look at your face, and he had to double take. He gasped, almost falling off this chair. “Y/N…Oh my- you’re awake!” he nearly yelled. He pressed the button to call the nurse and then cupped your face going on to press kisses to your face, “Baby I was so scared. I thought I had lost you!” He laughed his airy laugh and looked at you with utter happiness.

For some reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. The words he said to you were the only thing swimming through your mind. For you time had stood still, like the fight had happened mere hours ago. You moved your face away from his hands. Harry frowned noticing this change in your mood.

“Hey what’s wrong? The doctor is on her way, yeah. Do y’need anything?” he asked frantically following your eyes round the room. He saw you eye the plastic cup beside your bed, “Y’ want water? Hold on I’ll get it for you.” He ran to the other side and brought the cup up to your face. You didn’t realise how thirsty you were until the first sip hit your throat, you started gulping it down quickly.

“Take it easy, precious. They took out the tube just yesterday.” He explained softly.

Once your thirst was quenched he kept the cup aside then went on to pull his sleeve over his knuckles and wiped the wet corners of your mouth. You moved your face aside yet again, he couldn’t understand what was wrong. But before he could ask you, the doctor came in to check on you. She did her tests and asked a few questions. She left as soon as she was done, and told you even though the injury looked worse than it actually is, you had take it easy for a couple of days.

Neither of you spoke for a few minutes, “How’re you feeling, love?” he asked quietly. You nodded, “I’m okay.” He came up to you and raised his hand to caress your cheek. But before he could touch you, your head turned to the opposite side. He couldn’t take it anymore, so he asked you.

“Will you please look at me? What’s happened, precious?” as he caressed your hair.

“Why should I look at you, Harry? So you can tell me how careless I am, or how I’m not trustworthy?” you rasped quietly. For a minute he was unable understand what you were trying to say. Then flashbacks from your fight the other night came back rushing to him. The things he said to you, and how guilty he felt later. His words had left a huge impact than he thought they did.

He took your face in his hand with very much to little force, he had to tell you this, “Y/N y’have absolutely no idea for how sorry I am for that night-” but you didn’t let him complete.

“That’s only because I got into this accident.” You snapped. He shook his head rapidly, he saw you getting worked up over this. You’ve always been a little firecracker, and you never failed to tell him when he was being a dick or to defend yourself quite amazingly, he always loved that quality. Apropos, he couldn’t let you hurt yourself in this condition.

“First of all, please calm down-” he started, “don’t tell me to calm down, harry!” you raged. He hated himself for smiling when you’re clearly very upset. But for the past few days he had to witness you lie there lifeless which had taken a toll on his mental state. He loved the fact that you were awake, so you yelling at him was more of a reward than a punishment. You looked at him sharply and saw him not taking you seriously, this brought tears to your eyes.

You sniffled and looked away from him to rest your head against the pillows on the raised up side of your bed roughly. Harry’s small smile melted away as quickly as it appeared. He rubbed the side you almost banged to the pillow, “I’m so sorry, precious. I swear I did not mean anything I said.” He pleaded and took a seat down on the chair beside you.

Right then the nurse which pushed him out of the room the other day and now was much like a friend to him entered the room with a tray which had a bowl of soup and jello in it. Harry smiled at him gratefully and took the tray from him as the guy set up the table on your bed.

“How’re you feeling, Ms. Y/L/N?” he asked once he was ready to leave. You gave him a small smile and said you were feeling better. The moment he left Harry looked back at you with a longing look on his face, when you refused to look at him he sighed and set the tray down on the small table and took a seat in front you on the bed. He looked at you as he removed the metal spoon from its cover, and then went on to remove the cover set on top of the soup. He blew light air on the spoonful of soup, then brought it up to your mouth. You refused to touch it. He sighed and looked at you pleadingly, “Y’ know someone told me we shouldn’t remove our anger on food.” He stated, turning your words against you.

You glared at him in anger for minute as he looked at you with a loving smile. “Please?” He moved it closer to your mouth, “You’ve got to eat it, I’m not budging unless you do, Y/N.”

Even though you wanted to stay stubborn, you were kind of hungry. So you let him feed you the soup. When he got to the jello, you refused profoundly. “But it’s the chocolate flavoured one! Remember the time we used to share one when I was here for my fractured foot? C’mon we’ll share this one too, if y’want?” he tried convincing you with his soft eyes.

“I don’t want to share it with you. Actually, I don’t want anything to do with you at the moment to be completely honest.” you snapped. You were aware of the fact that you were being very unreasonable and bitchy but it was his words that has caused extreme hurt to you. Your words hurt Harry, and it was evident on his face. He wrapped up the jello and cleared everything. The day passed, and in the evening your last visitor entered the room.

“There she is!” Louis came up to you and hugged you lightly, making sure not to hurt you. “Hello, darling. How’re you?” he kissed your forehead. Harry left you alone with him as he went to get the two of them some coffee.

“What’s happened to him? Why the long face still? I mean I get that Harry loves to pretend that he’s this macho man and all. S’ a bit ridiculous to be honest. Like who’s he kidding, he’s a puppy.” Louis laughed. You smiled at this.

“I’m still a bit upset with him over our fight. So I haven’t been talking to him.” You explained. Louis frowned at this and then sighed, “Oh love don’t do that... This has been very tough for him. Should’ve seen his state these past few days. The man has been a mess ever since the officers came to your house that night.”

“I’m trying, Lou. But I just can’t forget all the things he said. I was so hurt, I still am!” you rubbed your forehead, as it was beginning to give you an ache.

“He’s very sorry, Y/N. Trust me when I say that I’ve never seen him like I saw him that day. He just wanted you to wake up. He was just blaming himself, how he shouldn’t have let you leave the house.” He took a hold of your hand, “he loves you so much, darling. He’s absolutely mad over you.” He rubbed your hand, “A’bit obsessed if you ask me. If I were you I’d have him get that checked with a therapist.” He joked, you laughed loudly. He smiled with you, and passed you the water you signalled for.

“Forgive him, Y/N. He can’t even bring himself to go home. The only time he went there was to get some clothes, and to put the dinner he made for you in the rubbish bin.” He sassed. “and I know I’m speaking for Mitch too here when I say this, but both him and I could use a break from all the non-stop stress weeping calls we’ve been getting from him.” You gasped at him with a mock offence for Harry, and lightly smacked his shoulder. You were always thankful for Louis in moments like these. He was a great friend to you and Harry.

Harry came back with two coffees and passed one to his blue-eyed friend. He took a seat on the sofa which was against the wall, and the three of you, though it was mostly you and Louis, had a light conversation while the men finished up their coffee. Louis bid his farewell with another kiss on your forehead and a well wish, you thanked him and waved goodbye. Harry walked him out the door, and came back in a second later.

“Y’ need anything?” He asked as he took a seat on the chair beside you. You shook your head as you observed him fidgeting with the cuticles of his nails. He did that when he was anxious.

Neither of you spoke for a while. But the minute you heard a sniffle, you snapped your head towards him. You tried to get a look at his face, the tip of his nose was a bit red and he was now fidgeting with his feet too. He wasn’t crying but he sure was on the verge of it.

You suddenly felt an overwhelming amount of love for the man in front of you. You leaned against your bed and sighed, smiling a little. It’s pathetic how in love you were with each other. You couldn’t even stay mad at him.

“Harry?” You whispered softly. He hummed without looking up. So you continued, “I need you to do something” you faked a stern voice to play with him a bit more.

“Yeah sure, what’s it?” he muttered as he got up and rubbed his hands down his thighs, then finally looked at you. You looked at him without an expression and said, “I need you to come here and give me a good cuddle, a kiss too if I like the cuddle.” And then smiled at him lovingly. He looked at you for a second. You almost thought he was  going to yell at you, but the opposite happened. He started tearing up and heavy tear drops ran down his cheeks.

You gasped and quickly leaned forward to take a hold of his hand which was near you. “Oh Harry..” You whispered as you pulled him near you. He the minute you sat him in front of you, he started crying heavily. You were so shocked yet you’ve never been more mesmerised by him. You quickly tried wiping his tears away and comforted him, “Honey, don’t cry. I’m not upset anymore!”

“I-I’m honestly s-sorry! I promise I didn’t mean what I said that day, Y/N!” he tried to speak while wiping his tears.

“I know, babe. I know!” you tried to say it properly but it came out in a laughing manner and tried to draw the crying man close to you, but seeing you laugh made him more upset and he pushed you away lightly, so you forcefully pulled him into a cuddle.

He told himself he’s letting himself be pulled because he didn’t want to hurt you, but it was actually because he wanted you close, so he went in head first. You lay down against the pillows and cuddle him against your chest. He went on sniffling into your neck and wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Harry why are you crying!” you tried controlling your laughter. He whined and pulled his face away, “Y’were so fucking mean since the moment you woke up. I didn’t expect it.” He said and hiccupped, thanks to the sobbing breakdown he just had. You pulled on your lips so you wouldn’t smile.

“Well now you know, honey. It hurts, doesn’t it? You were so mean to me too!” You teased. He nuzzled back into your neck, pressing kisses there which always made you giggle.

“I’m really sorry, precious. Honestly, I really am.” He said into your neck, yet producing another hiccup. You couldn’t control yourself anymore so you smiled and pressed a quite a few smooches to his temple, and inhaled his comforting scent.

“It’s okay, baby. I forgive you. I’m sorry for my foolish mistake too, I really didn’t mean to ruin your hard work like that.” You apologised. He pulled away and brought the hand that was around your waist to your cheek and said, “I forgave you a long time ago, but you honestly don’t have to apologise at all. It could happen to anyone, m’love. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. Y’know I made dinner and everything as an apology. But then the officers…” his tone dropped and he couldn’t continue. So, you sadly smiled and pulled him in for a kiss.

He sighed and reciprocated the kiss with so much love and passion that you couldn’t help but wrap the arm which around his shoulder a bit more tighter and ran the other through the back of his head gently. The two of you pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes, he moved the hair that escaped from your braid and tucked it behind your ear, “I was so scared. I thought I had lost you.” He whispered softly, and swallowed the small lump, “I missed you a lot, baby” he said and you couldn’t help but peck his cute pout.

“I missed you too, froggy” you replied. The pet name made him reward you with a dimpled smile. He nuzzled into your neck and whispered, “I love you.”

“and I love you.” You kissed his forehead.

“Just for your information, I’m not letting you out of my sight for a really long time.” He stated sternly.

You laughed but stopped when you saw he wasn’t joking, “You know I have to work, right?”

“Y’can easily take a break for a month or two.” He said, as he yawned and cuddle closer to you. “A MONTH OR TWO?! Have you gone mad?” you gasped, lightly pulling on his hair.

“No I haven’t. Try to get rid of me, baby. I dare you.” He laughed a scheming laugh. You knew he wasn’t joking. He tended to become quite paranoid and obsessive over you when situations like these occur. But you wouldn’t have him any other way.

“We’ll see, mister.” You said, and caressed the back of his head.

“oh we will, missus.”

The End.

Author’s Note: I really put in a lot of efforts on this one, so you guys kind of owe me *wink* y'all gotta humour my praise kink now!!! ;P

Love you guys! 

[chubbytummy]

(first official post!!! pls enjoy and support!!! sorry in advance for any typos! T^T)

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♡✰ 𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤 ✰♡

♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

synopsis:

(bts taehyung-seokjin centric)

taehyung has never had the best eating habits, indulging in junk food to his heart's content. what happens when it finally catches up with him, and his roommate/crush happens to notice?

tw: weight gain, mild feederism, eructo, mentions of past abusive relationships, mentions of insecurity, language, slight nsfw (barely)

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it was no secret to anyone around him that taehyung, as sweet as he was, gave absolutely no fucks about his eating habits. that was one thing he would tell you straight off the bat, and he was completely shameless about them too. if it was yummy, it was yummy. and if it was yummy, he was going to eat it. life was short, and wasn't the point of life to enjoy yourself and be happy?

that's what taehyung believed, anyway.

taehyung wasn't shy by nature; a social butterfly, if you will. he loved making new friends, chatting, and bringing people out of their shell. he was naturally charismatic and funny, and with the added-luxury of movie star looks, a deep and sultry voice, and a great physique, he always had a group of buddies around him. that's just how he was. he loved making people smile and laugh, enjoying the warmth and love that radiated off of those close to him. so, as it seemed, taehyung's life was a blissful stream of joy. he didn't have a care in the world, especially about his food.

that was until he graduated highschool and went off to college. you see, taehyung was quite athletic in highschool. participating in track and field and being in dance with his best friend, jimin, gave him plenty of, if not excessive exercise to burn off all those calories he consumed throughout the day. perhaps he was able to get away with his atrocious eating habits back then. however, there was a teeny problem. now, taehyung wasn't pursuing athletics or dance in college-- he was majoring in fine arts. that meant he wasn't getting the amount of exercise his body was used to. turns out, he didn't have as fast of a metabolism like he'd falsely believed, he just did a lot of cardio. so, factoring together the absence of any exercise (minus walks to classes and to the fridge), no changes in his diet, and the constant late-night junk food binges, things quickly started to add up.

literally.

it started with his cheeks. taehyung had been thin, bordering underweight, most of his life, so of course the little bit of newfound plumpness to his face would be noticable. yet, despite his soulmate's comments over 2 am facetimes saying "jesus, taetae, you look so young! drop the skin care routine, bestie," taehyung didn't see the changes. his cheeks poofed out and softened like freshly baked bread, and they always seemed to be puffy, like he'd just woken up. well, he had been taking a lot of naps lately, maybe that's why? he didn't really care, anyways.

the next noticable change was his hips, thighs, and ass. not only was taehyung blessed with a face sculpted by the gods, he also had a body to die for. if there's any higher power, they CLEARLY pick favourites. with a slim, trim waist and a naturally curvy figure, the weight gain only accentuated his hourglass shape. his hips widened generously, thighs thickened like heavy cream, and ass plumped out lusciously, filling up any seat he sat on to the brim and earning him more whistles and lustful stares then he was already receiving. yet, despite the constant catcalling from other students on campus, and the snugness of his pants, taehyung remained oblivious to his altered form.

the final shift in taehyung's appearance settled itself softly on his midsection. although he'd never had chiseled, drool-worthy abs like his new friend jungkook, who practically lived at the campus fitness center, his stomach had always been completely flat. now, it had softened entirely; he had a bit of a tummy. it wasn't very noticeable, at first, due to his knack for wearing baggy clothes, but it began to show over time. it was chubby and pudgy, and spilled over the waistband of his pants when he sat down. his belly was fluffy like the stuffing of a teddy bear, the surface doughy, as if you could sink your hand into it and leave behind a handprint. it was even more noticeable after he'd eaten. taehyung always bloated terribly. whether he'd had a bellyache, gas, or had just eaten something rather filling, his tummy always swelled up and pushed over his pantline and into his shirt. as well, love handles began to form, curling around his middle and warmly hugging his sides.

he was by no means overweight, but he wasn't exactly skinny anymore. he was softer, warmer around the edges. it suited him.

strangely enough, taehyung hadn't really noticed. besides a passing comment from a loved one, or a short-lived "hmm, that's new," in front of the bathroom mirror before dashing off to an already-late-to lecture, taehyung was pretty ignorant.

but how long can you ignore such a growing issue?

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leaning back and gazing up at the tile ceiling, taehyung sighed. he was currently in his friend jungkook's tiny dorm, sitting on his bed and waiting for his roommate, hoseok, to return with pizza. he really hoped he'd hurry up already. his belly was growling like it was angry with him. it was getting kinda scary.

"i really don't know, jungkook-ah, he's just... ugh." he mopplingly prompted his chubby cheeks in his hands and huffed.

"what do you mean you don't know, hyung?" jungkook asked crossing his beefy arms and shooting his friend a skeptical look. "you're like... the hottest and most outgoing guy i know. how haven't you scored a date with him yet?"

the "him" in question was taehyung's new roommate, seokjin. well, he wasn't exactly new. he'd been his roommate for over 5 months now, since his last roommate dropped out. yet, honestly, taehyung didn't think he'd ever get used to seeing that worldwide-handsome face in the same vicinity as him everyday. that would always be a shocker, no matter how many times they saw one another.

having a crush was new for taehyung. to put it bluntly, he knew he was good-looking. he definitely wasn't conceited or snobbish about his natural attractiveness, he honestly didn't care about looks. however, he was used to having a secret admirer or two, and unfortunately had to let many people down with his unrequited feelings. he never had any romantic attraction for anyone, even if he knew he was bisexual. in fact, romance really didn't play a role in his life. taehyung liked to paint, watch cartoons, eat snacks and play videogames. he chose friends and food over chasing after boys and girls. he hadn't even watched porn before, that's how uninterested in sex and relationships he was. call him immature or weird, but romance just didn't do much for him. it seemed boring. why would people waste there time on a silly boyfriend or girlfriend when they could be having fun? it just didn't make sense to him.

that was until he met his roommate. now, that was all he could think about. well, besides school and food, that is.

"that's rich coming from you, mr. i have muscles and a six-pack and tattoos and a fucking eyebrow piercing but i'm still too shy to even talk to jisoo." taehyung shot back with a smirk.

at that, jungkook flushed completely. it was true, despite being a 5 course meal plus desert, jungkook was the shyest person taehyung had ever met. he didn't have many friends besides taehyung, his roommate, hoseok, and hoseok's boyfriend. and the latter was just a friend of circumstances. the younger man also couldn't even look a girl in the eyes without blushing profusely and damn near pissing himself from nervousness. jungkook had a slight lisp and an occasional stutter as well, but taehyung found it quite endearing and sweet.

"t-that's not the point, hyung, and you know it!" jungkook replied hastily, still blushing. "why don't you just tell him how you feel? you've been pining after this dude for months!"

taehyung sighed heavily, the sigh morphing into a deep groan.

"because i literally don't know how! jin-hyung isn't going to take my confession seriously if i just say it! he's already rejected half the campus! he needs a gesture! some bold statement," taehyung explained in an exasperated manner, not caring if he was kinda rambling. "he deserves more than some half-hearted bullshit. i have to find a way to catch his attention, something to show him i'm different than the others. that i'm not just another idiot underclassmen trying to win him over! i just don't know what-!"

taehyung took a deep breath, ending his rant. he was beginning to feel upset, having a tendency to work himself up easily. he took a moment to collect himself, or at least try, and looked at the younger expectantly.

"don't look at me like that, hyung." he said after a moment, watching warily as taehyung took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. "you know what you gotta do, so do it." he shrugged, still observing his friend. "leth' talk about something else, okay?" jungkook suggested, not wanting his hyung to get anymore upset.

before taehyung could protest, there was a knock at the door.

"that must be hobi-hyung." jungkook spoke, getting up to let his dormmate in. taehyung stayed seated.

as the elder entered the room, the heavenly aroma of pizza followed, wafting around the dorm and into taehyung's nose. his mouth watered. pizza was the perfect comfort food. it always made him feel sated and happy. he could never get tired of it.

"hey tae-ah, i didn't know you would be here!" hoseok beamed, as he brought the pizza boxes over and placed them on the table. "how are you?"

"stressed and hungry."

hobi laughed loudly, his sunshine-like smile lighting up the room. taehyung always liked him. he was sweet, funny, and very handsome. he had a slim build, was a hip-hop dancer, and taehyung had seen his abs before. he'd be jealous if he cared about looks.

"aren't we all?" he joked, before he turned around and looked back at the still open door. "aish, yoongi-hyung, get your ass in here already!"

a low, "i'm coming, fuck off," emitted from beyond the threshold, before hoseok's boyfriend entered the room with a goofy grin and cases of beer and soda in his arms.

looking up at him, taehyung was taken aback.

the last time he'd seen yoongi, at least long enough to get a decent look at him, he'd been skinny. not just skinny, but nearly malnourished looking. his face had been gaunt and he was tiny in comparison to a healthy body. a good wind could have knocked him over. that was months ago. the yoongi he saw now looked quite different. he was filled out, his cheeks plumped and colored as apposed to pale and lifeless like before. his midsection as well, was that a belly? small, yes, but it was there. he looked so much... different. he wondered why.

taehyung had heard about relationship weight many times, and had seen it first-hand as well. when someone gets into a safe and loving relationship, they naturally gain weight. hoseok had opened up to jungkook and taehyung a few times, admitting that yoongi had been in an abusive relationship in the past. however, he was in a healthy one with hoseok now. honestly, it warmed taehyung's heart to see the once frail and sad-looking boy happy and healthy-looking.

it made him wonder if he would ever find a relationship like that. would he put on weight as well? probably not. his metabolism was way too fast, anyways.

"i brought some beer, jungkook don't drink it all this time." yoongi grunted, setting the packs by the desk and plopping down next to his boyfriend on his bed. "oh, taehyung's here. good thing we bought too much pizza."

the others chuckled. taehyung cocked a brow and frowned slightly. what was that supposed to mean?

"i'm starving." jungkook stated to no one in particular, grabbing himself a slice of pizza and a can of beer. taehyung wouldn't be having any alcohol, though, because it always made his cholinergic urticaria act up, and he wasn't in the mood for an itchy rash. besides, he liked soda much more.

"i thought you were on a diet, kookie-ah!" hoseok fake scolded. jungkook scoffed playfully.

"it's called bulking, hyung." he joked. everyone knew he rarely let himself eat like this. he was extremely disciplined. taehyung might've been jealous. "and what about you? thought you were on a diet!"

"i am." the elder replied. "this is all i'm eating. i've still got that dance competition next week- yah! yoongi, don't get sauce on my sheets, you pig!"

he swatted weakly at the mint-haired boy, who nudged him in return and rolled his eyes. it made taehyung smile.

"you can have some too, taehyung-ah." hoseok spoke after a bit. it was then taehyung realized he hadn't gotten any yet. "i know how much you like pizza."

once again, another comment.

"i mean, i don't like it that much." he mumbled, grabbing a slice and and taking a bite. he knew he was bluffing. pizza was the best.

jungkook snorted.

"bullshit tae, you almost always eat an entire pizza whenever we hang out!"

it was true. on an empty stomach, he could scarf down a whole pizza. more if he was especially hungry.

he decided not to reply, finishing his first slide and heading for a second. sinking his teeth into the slice, he all but moaned. it was supreme pizza, his favorite.

"honestly, i have no idea where he puts it all." the redhead commented, finishing up his slice. that was all he'd probably eat, seeing as he's on a diet and all.

"i-i do!" jungkook teased, stuttering slightly from the excitement. "he puth' it all right here."

suddenly, taehyung felt a finger poke his belly. he froze. he looked down to see jungkook's tattooed pointer finger sunk into his plush middle.

"wow, taehyung-hyung." the younger softly exclaimed. "i didn't know your tummy was this squishy."

taehyung felt himself blushing. not out of embarrassment, but something else. jungkook was still touching his belly.

"no way, let me feel!" hoseok reached over, but all too late. taehyung swatted them away and curled into himself, arms wrapped firmly around his middle.

"don't! i'm ticklish!" he lied. yes, he was ticklish, but that's not why he didn't want them to feel his stomach.

it was a strange sensation, really...

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a pizza and a 2L of soda later, taehyung felt warm and fuzzy and full.

hoseok and yoongi had left for yoongi's dorm. taehyung was assuming they wanted some alone time, and he knew yoongi had his own private dorm. he didn't want to think about what they'd do, though. ew, just... ew.

taehyung leaned back and closed his eyes, feeling sated. he gently patted his taut tummy and let out a deep burp, sighing afterwards. that was another thing he was shameless about. if he had to burp, he always just let it out. leaving the trapped gas in his belly only made it hurt, so he didn't hold back. besides, it felt good and it was only natural. he usually didn't even say "excuse me." he didn't understand why he had to. everyone burped; why excuse yourself for something completely normal? unlike jungkook, who'd probably die from humiliation, taehyung wasn't shy about it. the only person he'd be even remotely embarrassed in front of was seokjin, but that's a different story.

"mmm, that was yummy, kookie. i'm stuffed."

jungkook was drinking another beer, beyond drunk by now. he mumbled something incoherent, followed by a hiccup and a groan.

"aw kookie, are you drunk?" taehyung teased, ruffling the maknae's soft, black hair. the younger grumbled again. "tired, little guy? let's get you to sleep, bun."

gently, taehyung guided the nearly-passed-out jungkook's head to the pillow of his bed.

"sleep well, bun." he whispered sweetly, leaving a feather-light kiss on the younger's forehead. he'd probably have to stop by tomorrow morning to take care of him when he woke up with a hangover. he was bound to have a killer one with all the beer he guzzled down, and taehyung knew hoseok didn't do well with vomit. he didn't mind, however. taehyung loved to take care of his friends, anyways.

before he left, taehyung cleaned up, ate the last couple pieces the boys left, and did some of the dishes for them. he also really needed to pee, so he made a quick trip to the bathroom.

once he'd gone and washed his hands, he took a moment to observe himself in the mirror.

i looked really good today, taehyung thought, peering into the mirror and adjusting his gold-framed glasses. despite being quite handsome, he still felt insecure sometimes, especially as of lately. with some of the comments his friends had been making, he wasn't sure what to think. it was almost as if there was some kind of big joke, and he was the only one who wasn't in on it. he really didn't know.

before taehyung could turn away and exit the small bathroom, his eyes caught something in the corner, by the shower.

a scale.

he had forgotten that jungkook did weight training. it was probably his to keep track of that. or maybe it was hoseok's, since he was on a diet and all. it didn't matter. it shouldn't matter.

however, for some reason, he wanted to try it. knowing your weight couldn't hurt, right? it's just a number, anyways. besides, he was curious.

taehyung pulled the digital scale out and stepped on it, waiting patiently for the box to calculate his weight. it couldn't be too much. he was thin, after all.

looking down, his eyes widened.

78.1kg.

he blinked.

huh. so that's how much he weighed.

the last time taehyung had been properly weighed was his physical exam before freshman year. that was nearly a year ago. he was so thin, weighing in at 60.3 kg. since then, he'd gained roughly 17.8 kg.

wait a minute, that couldn't be right, could it? but he had a fast metabolism! not to mention, he's fairly active. well... sometimes. but he does do a lot of walking! something had to be wrong.

taehyung stepped off the scale, allowing it to level back to a clear screen. he then stepped back on.

78.1kg.

this didn't seem possible. maybe it's because of his clothes. maybe he needed to strip down to his underwear like when he had a checkup at the doctor's. quickly, taehyung peeled off his corduroy pants and baggy sweater, leaving him in his undies and tata-themed socks.

what? they were cute!

standing back on the digital scale, taehyung peered down at the number expectantly.

it was the same, the clothes only weighing a little.

maybe it was all the food he just ate, or maybe he had to use the toilet? but that doesn't explain all those kilos...

he placed himself back on the ground, dumbfounded. how did he manage to put on that much? that was like the freshman 15 (lbs) tripled!

taehyung sighed lowly, before turning to face the mirror.

in just his undies, and for the first time since freshman year, taehyung noticed his body.

his thighs were thick, clinging together like chunky glue. gentle stretch marks adorned the insides, which weren't new, seeing as he's always been a bit thicker than his peers growing up. however, they were more prominent. spinning around, he viewed his ass, which giggled almost lewdly with the slight movement. the plump, golden globes looked even plumper than they had. he had always had an ass, but now? he could probably play a pixar mom in a live-action film.

last, but certainly not least, his eyes settled on the most obvious change: his stomach. his tummy hung over the waistband of his underwear, extremely bloated and round from his big dinner and all the soda he drank. yet, despite being stuffed with pizza, it had softness to it. taehyung ran his hands over his belly, pinching the excess pudge. it wasn't too big, but it was noticable. more than noticable.

taehyung wasn't skinny anymore. he had gotten a bit chubby.

and, strangely enough, he didn't care. infact, he liked it.

taehyung knew he ate a lot of unhealthy foods, that was just who he was. why would he deny himself all the yummy things he liked to eat, just to maintain an "attractive" body? so what he wasn't slim like hoseok or muscular and shredded like jungkook? his body was perfectly fine. it did it's job, and that was the important thing.

above all things, taehyung was shameless. having gained weight didn't mean a thing to him. he was an artist, after all, not a model. his figure really didn't matter in the long run. he was still the same handsome guy, just with a little extra chub. and, honestly, he wondered what he'd look like with just a little bit more. just another layer of cream on his body. he's sure he'd like it, especially with how he reacted to having his tummy poked earlier by jungkook.

so, with the new information tucked in the back of his mind, taehyung dressed and left the small bathroom, making his way out of his sleeping friend's dorm. after double checking on jungkook and leaving the wastebasket beside his bed, just in case he woke up sick, the fluffy-haired boy exited the dorm and began his walk down the hallway, back to his own dorm.

after eating, taehyung usually felt sleepy, so it was no surprise to him that he found himself growing sluggish and drowsy as he strode back to his room. it was a pleasant feeling, really. he'd probably take a nice nap when he got back. maybe make some hot chocolate and catch up on some dramas. yeah, that sounded nice.

as he opened the door to his dorm, he was met with a flush of warmth and soft light. faint music played in the background, and a scent immediately met his nose as he stepped in. it smelled delightful. that could only mean one thing.

taehyung hadn't expected seokjin to be home so early. he wished he'd known; he'd like to have put more time into his appearance. welp, baggy sweater and messy-haired taehyung would have to do.

"ah, tae! you're home!" he heard seokjin call from the stove as he shucked off his loafers. he suddenly felt uncharacteristically shy, shifting his weight from his left foot to his right as seokjin walked up to him, all broad-shouldered and stupidly handsome. "how was your day?"

taehyung smiled as seokjin went in for a gentle hug, sinking into his warm embrace and inhaling his calming scent. seokjin was a real hugger, which taehyung appreciated because he, himself, was an absolute cuddle monster and jumped for any physical affection. it didn't help the butterflies in his stomach, however. he'd hope to just digest them already and move on from this silly crush.

"my day was a happy one, thank you," taehyung replied, nearly pouting as seokjin pulled away from the embrace. "how was your's, hyung?"

"better now that you're here." the elder smiled warmly, and taehyung felt his face heat up. seokjin always knew the right things to say to get his heart racing like mad. "come sit in the kitchen and keep me company while i cook?"

the younger nodded timidly, feeling pleasantly small next to his hyung. he followed him like a puppy to the dorm kitchenette, taking a seat at the small bar table.

"so," seokjin began, as he stirred a pot of glass noodles, keeping an eye on the vegetables and pork strips in the frying pan. he was making japchae, one of taehyung's favorite dishes. "have you eaten dinner yet?"

"oh, i ate pizza at jungkook and hoseok-hyung's place," he answered, hand going instinctively to his still-bloated tum, giving it a fond pat. "truth be told, i probably overate." he let out an uneasy chuckle in an attempt to distract himself from the warmth growing in his lower belly. what was happening to him?

seokjin waved him off.

"there's no such thing as overeating if it tastes good," he countered, and before taehyung could understand what was going on, a steaming plate of japchae was placed in front of him. it was a heaping serving, the small plate only making it look bigger. "here, have some of this."

taehyung flushed, gingerly sliding the plate away.

"um, i-i shouldn't, hyung," he stammered, hand still on his middle, almost defensively, as if he were guarding it. "thank you, but i'm still pretty stuffed."

seokjin chuckled deeply, full lips curled into a smirk. he pushed the dish back in front of him. taehyung gulped.

"taehyung-ah, i've seen you demolish three times this and more in one sitting. i'm not exactly convinced that 'stuffed' is in your vocabulary."

there it was. another comment about his eating habits. however, this time, instead of irritation, he felt something... else.

"jin-hyung, i-"

"you wouldn't let all my hard work go to waste, would you?" seokjin questioned, pouting. taehyung felt his heart jump. "i made this all just for you."

"well... alright. i'll have a bite or... two." taehyung finally spoke, unable to look his hyung in the eye. picking up the pair of chopsticks, he hesitantly began to eat.

it was delicious. of course it would be.

in all his time, taehyung had never met as good a cook as seokjin. not even his own mother --who could whip up a mean bibimbap like nobody's business-- could compare to his skills. the younger male couldn't even count on two hands how many times he's had his belly nearly bursting out of his pants from seokjin's cooking. whatever it was he was making, taehyung was sure to gorge himself to new heights every time; now was only proof of that. seokjin didn't seem to mind. infact, he encouraged it.

"taste good?" the elder quizzed, taking a seat in front of the eating boy and gazing at him fondly, if not a bit intently.

taehyung took a moment to finish chewing his mouthful and swallow. he grinned.

"amazing," he answered, licking his lips. "your cooking always is the best, hyung. it's, like, ethereal."

seokjin let out his iconic windshield wiper laugh, which only made his dongsaeng giggle.

"well, if it's good enough to pull out the 50 cent words for," be mused, leaning a tad closer. "then it's good enough to finish, yeah?"

taehyung's smile faded, as he peered up at the taller man wordlessly.

"you know i don't like leftovers, taehyung-ah. scrape your plate. clean."

he didn't have to tell taehyung twice. something about the subtle command in his tone --the sprinkle of dominance within the seemingly innocent words-- sparked a flame that licked into taehyung's belly.

he continued to eat, and before he could really process anything, his chopsticks clinked against an empty plate. instantly, a crimson heat spread over his face. it was as if he were a different person for a moment.

"all done?" seokjin questioned, taking the plate from the boy as he nodded sheepishly. "good job, tae-ah! you did so well!"

taehyung felt his pants become tighter at his elder's words of encouragement.

"feeling full?"

taehyung's adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"i-" a burp interrupted him. he stayed quiet for a moment, hand covering his mouth, before he spoke up again. "excuse me, sorry."

he was blushing like mad. shameless taehyung who?

seokjin snorted. "guess that answers my question."

the slight teasing only increased the tightness of his pants, though he remained oblivious.

to say taehyung was full was a gross understatement. he'd passed the limitations for being full. he felt like if he moved even an inch he'd explode, literally. he looked 7 months pregnant.

"jin-hyung," he began with a taut hiccup, a slight whine to his voice. "i think... i think i ate too much."

and there it was, the rarer side of shameless taehyung. the one who needed affection after overdoing it, and wasn't afraid to beg for it.

"aw, you poor thing," his hyung cooed, helping the younger stand. his belly felt heavy and stuffed to the brim. "let's get you to the couch yeah? how's some hot chocolate sound? sound nice?"

taehyung nodded and hummed, blissed out from the tight fullness. he'd never felt this way from just eating before.

he took a seat on the couch as seokjin scurried off to make hot chocolate, and he used the opportunity to unbutton his pants. although he wasn't exactly too keen on being so unkempt in front of his love interest, his pants were digging into his bloated stomach something fierce. slowly, he undid the buttons and pulled down the zipper, freeing and allowing his tummy to rest atop. he sighed in relief, though it was short-lived when he noticed the slight bulge in his pants. well, that's new?

wait a minute--

oh fuck.

he frantically attempted to pull his sweater down to cover his lower region, but it was too snug around his plush middle to budge much. thankfully, it wasn't entirely noticable.

"here you go, taebear," seokjin said as he walked back into the small living room, two mugs of hot chocolate in his hand. one of them had tata all over it: you can guess whose it is. "careful, it's hot. let it cool before you drink it."

taehyung nodded bashfully in reply as the older of the two turned the tv on, switching the channel to some random drama taehyung had seen bits of but couldn't remember the name of. when jin sat down next to him, he immediately snuggled up to his side, head on his broad shoulder.

this. this was heaven right here.

seokjin smiled sweetly, arm wrapping around the younger. his fingers carded through taehyung's fluffy brown hair, earning a quiet sigh and pleased noises from the latter. taehyung's eyes fluttered shut as his scalp was scratched lightly.

soon enough, after finishing his hot chocolate, he felt himself grow drowsy. his belly felt warm and heavy, rising with every deep breath he took.

just as he had nearly dosed off, he felt something warm slip under his sweater and dance against his stomach. it felt like a hand.

he sighed. he must have been dreaming.

slowly, the palm of the hand traced over his swollen tummy, fingers ghosting over his navel. he all but purred at the feeling.

it began to rub circular motions onto the bloated skin with a gentle pressure, releasing a few soft burps from taehyung, who mewled at the lovely sensation. he began to fall deeper into slumber, the warm feeling being the last thing he could remember before he completely fell sound asleep.

when taehyung awoke, he was in his own room, in his own bed. he was under the blankets, glasses neatly placed on the bedside table. yawning, he looked around, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

had he been dreaming this whole time?

placing a hand on his middle, he was shocked to feel how bloated and round it was.

nope. it was all real.

and it felt completely, utterly, shamelessly good.

♡

☆

♡

"hey hobi-hyung, what's up?" taehyung spoke into the receiver of his phone after answering hoseok's call. he was currently working on an oil painting while munching on the oreos he'd bought at the campus snack venue on his way home.

"hey tae," he heard a strained voice answer. someone was in the background coughing. "could-" hoseok was cut off by what sounded like a particularly loud heave "ugh. could you do me a solid, tae. i'll pay you back, i promise."

and just like that, taehyung was on his way over to jungkook and hoseok's dorm. he'd debated bringing his painting with him, but eventually decided against the idea. he didn't want to make sick jungkook even sicker, nor did he want hoseok to complain about him stinking up the dorm with his paint.

the second he opened the door, hoseok rushed out.

"thanks a million, taehyung," he spoke frantically, clearly frazzled but trying to stay calm, though it was evident he was hanging on by a thread. "i hate to do this to you but you know how i am."

taehyung gave him a reassuring smile.

"hobi-hyung don't worry, it's alright! i don't mind!" he explained, placing a hand on his hyung's shoulder. "how's he doing?"

hoseok closed his eyes.

"ugh, he's just... ugh."

taehyung laughed and shook his head.

"aish, i told that dummy not to drink so much," he playfully face-palmed, giggling. "alright hyungie, head over to yoongi-hyung's. i'll take it from here."

hoseok sighed a breath of relief.

"you're a little saint, you know that, taetae?"

he pinched taehyung's full cheeks, kissing his forehead before rushing off. taehyung blushed and giggled to himself softly.

hoseok was really something else.

upon entering his friend's shared dorm and turning on the light, his eyes instantly landed on jungkook, who looked like he'd seen better days.

"taehyung?" he heard the younger croak from his bed, eyes squinted nearly shut. "shit, kill the lights will you, please?"

taehyung quickly flicked the switch off.

"oh, sorry kookie-ah," taehyung apologized, making his way in the dim room to the bed, where he sat.

"it's alright hyung, my head is just absolutely murdering me right now."

"feeling pretty bad, aren't we, bun?" taehyung murmured softly, rubbing the younger's back tenderly.

"god, 'm never fucking drinking again."

taehyung chuckled, shaking his head. he knew that was a lie; he'd probably be in the same position next weekend taking care of the hungover boy.

"okay, bun," he replied, fondly. "can i get you anything? painkillers, perhaps?"

jungkook shook his head, instantly wincing at the movement.

"no i already took some before you came." he answered. "could you just hold me for a bit, please?" his doe eyes found taehyung's gaze in the dark.

the elder boy swallowed back an 'awwww' as he laid down on the bed, taking the sick boy into his arms. he ran his fingers through the younger's silky, black hair. jungkook sighed.

"thanks, hyungie." jungkook mumbled into taehyung's warm chest. "you're the best."

a soft smile melted onto taehyung's lips. the two boys sat in a quiet trance for a while, the only sound being breathing and the hum of the ac. after some time had passed, jungkook broke the silence.

"um, hyungie?"

"what is it, bun?" taehyung replied, looking down at the boy.

"i-i um..." he began, stuttering from what taehyung assumed was nervousness. his stutter always worsened when he was nervous, the elder noticed. "i'm s-s-sorry about what i said yesterday."

taehyung haulted his movements, cocking a brow in confusion.

"what are you talking about, jungkook?"

"yes'therday," he paused to grimace at his lisp, before going on, "with hobi-hyung and yoongi-hyung." jungkook responded anxiously. "i-i shouldn't have c-commented on your body or how much you eat like that. if someone had made a comment about m-m-my stutter or lisp, i'd have been sad. it wasn't cool of me to point out an insecurity like that. i'm- i'm sorry." his voice broke a tad at the last part, though taehyung nearly didn't catch it.

taehyung blinked, taking a moment to process his dongsaeng's confession.

"okay, kookie, three things," taehyung replied after some thought, returning to stroking the boy's hair. "one: it's alright, don't worry about it. i'm definitely not upset with you, honey. two: your stutter and lisp are perfectly fine. they make you unique, make you you, so don't be embarrassed about how you talk, and don't take shit from absolutely anyone about it. got it?"

jungkook nodded, eyes still glassy.

taehyung smiled and continued.

"and three: what makes you think i'm insecure about my body?"

jungkook froze for a moment, clearly trying to conjure up an answer that wouldn't hurt his hyung's feelings.

"um..."

"is it because i'm chubby?"

jungkook didn't say anything, causing taehyung to sigh audibly.

"i have no reason to be insecure about my body, you know, jungkook?" taehyung calmly retorted, not in a mean or scolding manner, but in a blunt one. "i love my body. my tummy's job is to digest the food i eat and convert it to energy. that's it, and he's doing a pretty good job at it. so, therefore, i have no real reason to be insecure, and i'm not. a little tummy fat never hurt anyone."

jungkook looked up to gaze at his hyung.

"so, it didn't hurt your feelings when i t-touched your belly, then?" he asked, voice still slightly broken. taehyung wiped the stray tears from his dongsaeng's cheeks.

"of course not, kookie-ah," the older boy reassured, lips spreading into a grin. "in fact... i liked it."

jungkook went stiff.

"u-um... i-i'm flattered, hyung, i really am... b-but i like girls..."

taehyung let out a deep, rumbly laugh.

"don't be silly, bun!" he teased, still chuckling. "i wasn't talking about you! i wouldn't date your lame ass anyways, even if you did like guys!"

this earned him a playful slap.

"but you did... like it?" jungkook questioned after a comfortable silence.

taehyung nodded a bit stiffly.

"yeah, i... i guess i did." he admitted. "to be honest... i wouldn't mind if seokjin touched m- woah! sorry about the tmi! literally forget i said that, please. like, erase it from your memory."

taehyung flushed in embarrassment as jungkook burst out laughing.

"yah, don't make fun of me! i'll kick your ass you little shit!"

despite the teasing, taehyung definitely wouldn't mind if seokjin touched his belly. infact, he'd fucking love it.

and, well... this all was... new. he'd like to explore this more in the future.

however, little did taehyung know, he wasn't the only one with a bit of experimentation in mind.

♡

☆

♡

♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

hi!! hope you enjoyed this!! maybe a part 2?? please let me know what you think!! love you!!

~ jelly ૮ᴖﻌᴖა

♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

[dancingazaleas]

miche zacharias | beauty & the beast

this is for @izukine ‘s ‘fairy tale and mythical creatures’ collab! love you so much liyah <333

tagging: @yeagerslut @xenihime @fiaficsxo @mitsuluv @sukunas-lady @onyxoverride @rintarouss (cus ur a miche fucker. sorry for not warning u abt the tag)

edit: this is unedited, i’m so sorry for any typos.

warnings/tags: cursing, eventual smut, smut, nsfw, romantic sex, size kink(i guess if u squint?), fingering, oral sex/cunnilingus, missionary sex, vanilla

miche was always just a little bigger than anyone around him. he stood like a skyscraper at 6’5, towering over all of his peers. he was more broad one would be at the chest, a tailor once said his bust was around 150 centimeters.

miche was seen as an absolute beast because of this. and it didn’t help that miche’s hair was shaggy, stubble coating his upper lip and jaw, and he had a sniffing problem. he thinks the nose is really what sold everyone.

and in effect, miche was feared. feared by the people in his village, and sometimes even by his own friends. the dark and looming castle he lives in was where he forced to, along with his companions that stood up for the meek man that they called a beast.

the village often sent people who they’ve decided to shun to his estate, expecting for the beast to kill them in cold blood.

in reality, he just sent them to the next village over. he didn’t feel like being disturbed.

it was nothing different when he saw you running to him, tears falling from your pretty eyes while consistently looking over your shoulder. behind you, he noticed a crowd with pitchforks along with torches, screaming for you to get back here to burn you at the stake.

“help!” you cry, “help!”

you stumbled over your own feet, hands clamping down onto his clothed biceps and sobbing while looking at him.

“the next village over is—“

“no! sir, no matter where i go,” you shake your head rapidly, “i will be hunted. hunted for reading the books!”

you looked so desperate clinging onto him, eyes flashing when you cry once more, “you’re the only one who can help me!”

he looks back to the crowd that nears the gates of his home, silently wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you to his chest. the crowd skids to a stop, especially when miche steps forward and manages to yank a pitchfork from their hands.

“this girl is with me,” he announces, jabbing at the air to back them up, “leave now or die.”

the crowd gapes at the sight of you gathered to his chest, but backs off nonetheless. there was nothing they could do against the man that they call a beast.

miche leads you into his home, introducing you to friendly faces that were spread across the house.

“what happened?! did you get rid of the—whoa-ho-ho! who’s this beauty, michey,” someone with messy brown hair exclaims, eyepatch covering their left eye.

“hanji! quit being so disrespectful,” a man follows behind them, tugging them by their shoulders from behind.

“this young maiden was followed by a mob. she read the forbidden books, based off of her words she’s said to me. they planned on hunting her down even if she goes to the next village over,” he leads you past them to a bathroom.

“that’s saddening,” a baritone voice said, the frown evident in his voice, “she's staying with us i’m assuming?”

if his voice wasn’t enough to make you feel small, his looks definitely were. a blond man with bushy eyebrows and a prosthetic arm stood in front of you with something that you can say was a gentle smile. behind him lingered a shorter man, bags hanging from his eyes, one of which had a scar running through it and down to his lip.

“no shit, erwin. miche isn’t heartless,” the crude words make you crack a smile.

miche ignores their comments, “where’s nanaba? she needs a bath and i don’t fully trust her to be alone.”

“what am i needed for,” a feminine person waltzes into the room, a light look on her face.

“this young maiden needs to be bathed with a loose eye on them,” nanaba gently takes your hands into their own.

“what?! why couldn’t i do it?!”

“because you can barely bathe yourself, shitty glasses,” levi grunts and sits on a plush couch in front of the warm fire. you notice he has two prosthetic fingers.

nanaba leads you away before you can hear hanji’s response. you open your mouth to ask a question, but find yourself stuck on what to address nanaba as.

“you can address me as whatever makes you comfortable,” you find that she’s peering at you from over her shoulder.

“oh! i’m so sorry,” you sniffle.

“don’t worry about it, you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. now, what was on your mind?”

“that man… miche, i think the townspeople called him, he’s really kind. he saved me from being burned,” you murmur loud enough for her to hear, “why?”

nanaba took you into a bathroom room and shut the door behind her, “i can’t say i know. the last person he took in was levi, and it wasn’t exactly his choice, more of erwin’s. i think he smells something in you.”

“that’s right, the townspeople wrote that he had the nose of a dog.”

“he does. he’s usually able to tell if someone is good or not just by their scent,” she turns on the bath, “i think he likes you.”

you deny her statement with a laugh, fanning your hand just before you get undressed. you doubt that a beast such as himself could like someone like you.

————

months passed, and as the days went on you found yourself falling in love with miche. the same man who used ‘beauty’ as a nickname for you would bathe in how you’d give a bashful and swat his arm.

truly, he was more like a bear. big and scary, but also cuddly—as much as a bear could really be—and soft. miche had a heart of gold, that much was obvious when he started to wear it on his sleeve.

he cherished his time with you, even if others were around and he wanted you to himself. he loves the wandering gazes you give when you sit under the wisteria tree in his garden. the look of curiosity that brightens your face, eyes wide and staring at the world he used to think was cruel.

miche tried not to be a sap. he hadn’t ever since he was born, and he didn’t want to start now. but he couldn’t help it.

if the world that shamed him and hurt him was able to create such a kind yet sarcastic beauty, then maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought.

but he was scared of hurting you. in more ways than one. mentally, miche was a quiet and seemingly unaffectionate person, even with someone he loved. miche also had a tendency to be blunt at times, and it has made you upset on multiple occasions.

physically, however, miche’s terrified of being with you just because of it. as you’ve observed, miche isn’t exactly small..

but you practically make him feel as such.

especially right now as you crack jokes with him and teaching him how to waltz. it doesn’t help that you’re leading the dance and that he was stumbling over your feet.

“miche, step this way with me,” you’re incredibly patient.

“i’m scared i’ll step on your foot,” you give him a stare.

“you already have,” you laugh, “it’s okay if you step on my foot, you’ll get the hang of it.”

eventually, he’s able to synchronize his steps with your’s. you trade off the leadership to him, hands on his shoulders. he fumbles a lot more than before, leading to you fumbling over him as well. your shoe presses into his own, and you wince for him while muttering an apology. he’s about to tell you it’s fine, but before he can, he’s stepped on your dress. you yelp and instinctively cling onto miche as you fall onto miche’s bed, dragging him with you.

his arm is immediately at the small of your back and his other hand manages to hold himself up. you flop back onto the mattress when he takes his arm away, cheeks flushed red as he stared down at you.

you look so pretty under him, hair spread beneath you and hands laying next to your head palms up. your pretty lips are parted and your eyes are wide and fluttering.

when he realizes he’s staring, he starts to get ready to get off of you.

“wait!” you gently hold his biceps, stopping his once abrupt movement.

your arms reluctantly and slowly wrap around his neck, eyes darting continuously to his face and to your arms. miche’s breath gets caught in his chest when you pull his face closer to your’s.

“miche… can i kiss you,” you whisper, breath tickling his skin.

miche’s too afraid to speak, so he nods.

your lips start to tingling whenever they’re connected to miche’s heat embarrassingly shooting through your body and to your tummy.

when he pulls away, you accidentally let out a whimper and rub your thighs together. miche’s face lights up again at how needy you look underneath him.

he kisses you again, intertwining his fingers with yours and leaning his weight onto them. he subtly shimmies your body up the mattress, tongue poking at the inside of your mouth. it elicits a soft moan from you, the noise shooting sparks straight to miche’s cock.

“love you,” he sighs with his lips trailing down your neck, large hands shyly starting to grope at your chest.

“love you too,” you bite your lip, watching him undo the buttons at the front of your shirt.

“is this all okay,” his lips tickle your skin as he drags them across the skin of your collarbones.

“yes… yes,” you mumble, slipping out of the shirt and your bra and throwing it somewhere across miche’s room.

miche nibbles at the skin on your breasts, fingers pinching your nipples. you sigh dreamily, hips wiggling from where they lay on the bed. he kisses down your tummy and slips the skirt you’re wearing off of your body.

you’re wearing plain white panties, embarrassment hitting you like a truck. miche doesn’t seem to care at all though, just slips them down your leg and throws them somewhere in his room.

you put a hand on your chest when he spreads your legs, trying to regulate your almost erratic breathing. you couldn’t believe that this was even happening.

soft pecks tickle your calf, slowly trailing up to your thigh and to the trimmed hair of your labia. breaths grow heavy when his tongue hesitantly prods at clit, fingers digging themselves into the wild sheets of his bed.

after seeing your small flinches, miche closes his lips around the bud. you immediately throw your head back as he starts to suck and lick at it, electricity shooting down to your toes that are curled over his shoulders.

he slips a large finger into you, bending it with caution. you buck your hips with a throaty moan, sealing your eyes closed when miche picked up the velocity of his pace.

unlike with waltzing, miche was getting the hang of it fast. so fast that he’s already slipping a second finger into you, thrusting it at a teasing pace that wouldn’t be able to get you off.

you cry out, the scent of pleasure coating your entire body. it has miche groaning against your clit, a loud and desperate moan being let out in response.

miche’s slipping in a third finger, continuously thrusting in and out whilst curling them.

“miche! miche!” you let a hand get tangled in his hair, gently tugging as if you were trying to rut against his face.

“gonna cum—oh my god! i’m gonna cum,” you whine breathlessly and miche continues at his pace.

you cum seconds later, legs trembling from where they lay over his shoulders. he pulls away and immediately wipes away your juices off of his face with the back of his hand, immediately rewarding you with a sweet and passionate kiss on your lips. you whimper against his rough lips, fingers tugging at the shirt he still had on.

he chuckles when he pulls away, hastily taking off his seemingly elegant clothing and throwing the sheets over your bodies.

miche knew it was going to make you both hot. and miche knew he was paranoid of anyone walking in, even though he knew that everyone wouldn’t bother him. but still, the sheets acted as a shield from the world.

this time was only for the two of you, no one else.

his hand pumps his cock whenever he starts to guide it to your stretched out slit. you don’t exactly realize just how big miche actually is until the head of his cock is pushing into you.

the sting that shoots through your body is immediate, and you immediately cling onto his back. you bite your lip whenever he keeps slipping himself in, pausing when you’ve managed to get a quarter of his cock inside of you.

you pant as tears prick the corner of your eyes, trying to relax your obviously tense body as miche tries to distract you with soft and gentle kisses. he whispers how good you're doing, even rubbing circles into your clit with the pad of his thumb to help loosen the tension.

when you calm down and tell him that you're ready, he continues to slip into you with slowed movements. the stretch is more painful than before and as he slides deeper and deeper into you, you feel like his cock gets bigger with each inch. you stop him again, taking deep breaths and telling yourself that you can do it. you only had a few more inches left, then you would feel good.

when he finally bottoms out, your breath leaves your chest. it feels like he’s in your throat and the intense feeling makes you cry again.

“so full, ‘m so full miche,” you whimper while he wipes away the tears from your face.

“i know, love, it’ll feel good soon,” his voice soothes you.

when you calm down again, the realization at how every part of miche’s cock reaches you comes down upon you.

“m-move, please, move,” carefully wrapping your legs around his waist, you whisper in his ear.

his thrusts start off slowly and deep, moans falling from your lips each time he bottoms out and the tip of his cock hits your cervix. when he realizes that you’re alright, he speeds up his pace.

the way he ruts into you makes you produce a broken scream, scratching at his back and throwing your head back. you’re already starting to feel that certain knot in your tummy again, and you wanted to try to hold it back but the orgasm crashes into you unexpectedly.

you sound so broken underneath him, digging your nails into his skin and squeezing him close to you.

“fuck! thank you, thank you,” you sob, “love you, love your cock.”

he grunts in response, ignoring how your walls suffocate him. he doesn’t help you ride out the orgasm, only speeding up his pace to chase after his own orgasm.

you whine at the sound of his skin slapping against your’s, heat spreading down to your chest. you’re going to come again with the way miche jackhammers into you desperately.

“miche, miche! fuck—please!” your vision whites out as your body thrashes under miche’s hold.

miche can’t ignore how hard your walls grip onto his cock, groans spilling out of his mouth as his orgasm creeps over him.

he orgasms with a breathy grunt, grinding his hips into yours and pumping his cum into you.

when he comes down from the euphoric high, he kisses your lips. your eyelids are heavy after miche pulls his softening cock out of you.

“love you,” he mumbles against your skin after he’s fetched a wet rag and cleaned you up.

you hum in response, too tired and weak to even reciprocate with words. luckily, he knows what you were trying to say. he pulls you into his warm chest, a soft and satisfied hum falling from your lips.

you drift off with his hand rubbing your back. the last thing you remember thinking was that miche was definitely a beast in some aspects.

[maybankiara]

TELL ME, IS IT WORTH IT?

pairing: JJ Maybank x Pope Heyward

summary: Pope proposes, JJ panics, and now he’s trying to explain why he said no (and why he shouldn’t have done it.)

w/c: 3.7k

a/n: angst with a happy ending, ignore all the typos bc this is entirely unedited (i might edit in the future)

masterlist | tag list

read on archive of our own

It’s really unfair that when someone’s life falls apart, the world itself doesn’t. JJ thinks it should. It should be raining knives, hailing bullets, volcanoes should be exploding and the ground shaking shouldn’t be just his personal experience of reality. 

But it’s not even a moderately hot day. It’s breezy, it’s perfect, and it’s one of the nicest days of the fucking whole year. 

JJ hates it. 

The Chateau has only got John B and Kiara under its roof when he barges in, teeth gripping on the cap of a beer bottle. ‘Don’t ask,’ he states, then drops in the empty space between the two on the couch. His legs find their home on the coffee table and he nearly downs the bottle. Burps. Sighs, dramatically. 

He knows they’re exchanging glances, but he chooses to ignore it. 

Kie’s consoling hand lands on his shoulder. ‘What ha—’

‘Pope asked me to marry him,’ he says, ‘and I said no. And I also said I think it’s never going to happen.’

John B should’ve made a dumb comment. Kie should’ve made a sarcastic remark. But they didn’t, and they won’t, because JJ feels the gravity of the situation weighting down his lungs. (It feels like being torn up inside out, like his heart is chewing on itself out of anger, or sadness, or betrayal. It feels like the moment when your heart skips a beat and you think this is it, this is how I die, except you don’t; except you’re stuck in that moment forever.)

JJ burps. It chips at the silence, but it doesn’t break it. Kie’s hand on his shoulder is frozen and the distance between him and John B seems like an ocean. 

‘Yeah,’ says JJ. ‘I don’t think that was what he expected.’

A sigh comes from Kie, but he doesn’t look. ‘When was this?’

‘About twenty minutes ago. I drove straight here.’

‘Drunk?’ asks John B. 

‘Does it matter? I’m here now. Safe and sound.’ He lets out a dry chuckle before he can stop himself, and shakes his head. ‘Physically, anyway.’

‘You’re not drunk,’ says Kie. It sounds a little like a scoff, so JJ looks at her, but he can’t figure out what her face is saying. Tight lips scream anger, but her eyes are soft as ever, maybe a little concerned. She glances between him and John B with one of her eyebrows slightly raised. ‘He’s a heartbroken idiot, but not drunk.’

‘Ah. Understandable. Should I—’

‘You know what being a heartbroken idiot means.’ Kie pushes herself off the couch and when JJ glances at his other friend, John B’s just as confused as he is. ‘I know a thing or two about getting your heart broken for a dumb reason. You two sort that out, and I’ll make sure Pope’s okay. Let me know when you’ve knocked some sense into him.’

Before either of the boys manage to comprehend her words, she’s out the door. The Kie-shaped void on JJ’s left side feels a little odd, so he pushes himself into that side of the couch. The beer is bitter at the back of his throat; he wishes some music would be playing. 

John B calls his name, so JJ looks at him. He’s giving him the puppy eyes, trying to get him to talk, and it’s because neither of them really know how to start. (Their affection is physical, not verbal. Kie’s the one who’s good at that. Pope is—)

‘Did you panic?’ asks John B. 

JJ shakes his head. ‘Don’t think so. Not until after I’ve said it, anyway.’

‘So what happened?’

There’s a pause, JJ feels his brow furrow, and then: ‘I don’t know.’

‘…you don’t know?’

‘No.’

‘So you panicked.’

‘No, I didn’t, it’s—’ With a sigh, JJ accepts the momentary defeat. He glances over and sees John B’s signature stare full of indecipherable intent, but nothing less than pure kindness. They’ve had their bumps, but they always came out on top. It’s the pogue way. Even if John B wears that stupid bandanna around his neck well into his married life of his late twenties. ‘I knew the answer was no.’

It’s John B’s turn to frown. ‘You’ve thought about it?’

‘No, I just knew. Like you know the ocean is salty.’

‘You know that because you’ve tasted it before,’ counters John B. ‘I doubt you’ve been proposed to before.’

‘I could’ve been!’ 

All John B offers is a long stare yet that is enough. He’s older by only a few months, but he’s also married and didn’t say no to the proposal (granted, it was him proposing to Sarah, but still) and kind of has got his life together. He’s still JJ’s dumb older brother, but he knows something JJ doesn’t. 

‘How did you know you wanted to marry Sarah?’ 

‘Are you reconsidering your answer?’

‘No, I just—’ JJ sighs again and tries to wish another bottle into appearing in his hand. Doesn’t work. Probably for the better. He just leans his head back on the couch and stares at the ceiling, connecting the dots in his mind. ‘I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want you to tell me how you knew.’

He hears shuffling, and then feels John B’s feet in his lap. (He’s not going to comment on the boat shoes. There’s been enough deflecting. He’s got to listen, because Pope is threatening to burst into the forefront of his mind any second now.)

John B gives out the deep, heavy sigh that only comes with a slight aah whenever he’s about to tell a story. ‘When we were young, she made everything come alive. Everything looked brighter and clearer, and it was like I could finally breathe with the entirety of my lungs.’

JJ closes his eyes, trying not to gag. ‘Bro. I’m not listening to that.’

‘But that’s how I knew!’ He could just hear the grouch in his friend’s voice and now he’s threading the fine line between laughing and gagging. ‘Seriously, JJ, you asked. I don’t— I don’t know what to say. I don’t think you’re taking this seriously enough.’

‘I am.’

‘No, you’re not. You’re deflecting.’

‘Big word.’

‘See?’ John B scrunches his nose, shaking his head. His thumb and index finger grip the bridge of his nose. ‘I know you’re confused. And scared. I know you panicked when Pope asked, but I don’t think you understand how horrible is the thing you’ve done.’

‘It’s not like I broke his heart,’ scoffs JJ, but the words are flat and his heart skips another beat. He doesn’t need to look at John B to knows he’s got his head in his hands. ‘C’mon, it’s Pope. He’s tougher than he looks.’

‘Yes, but he proposed, JJ. He asked to spend the rest of his life with you and you said no!’

‘I didn’t say no to that!’ JJ flings himself off the couch and now he’s pacing around the living room of the Chateau, marching circles around the coffee table. His forehead is pulsating; he’s probably having a heart attack. That’d explain a lot. ‘I said no to getting married.’

‘That’s the same thing.’

‘It isn’t.’

‘It is.’

‘It really isn’t, John B,’ he spits out. Christ, he’s getting hot. Is that his blood boiling? ‘Marriage is… It’s taxes. It’s prenups. It’s joint bank accounts, it’s added tension, it’s fucked up. Half of the marriages don’t even last.’

(Pope’s always talked about getting married. When gay marriage was legalised, before they were together, before they were out of the closet, even then he was openly delighted about it. He’s been talking about the two of them getting married for a while now, or at least hinting at it. 

He should’ve expected it. It didn’t come out of the blue. He saw the signs, just ignored them, because… because…)

‘If you’re scared marriage is going to ruin your relationship, JJ, I’ll have you know you’ve already done that yourself.’ 

This is about the point where everything just… It comes crashing down. The world does end the way JJ wanted it to. 

He feels himself growing very, very still, like when he was younger and his father raised a hand. He feels his breath halting in his throat and ears tuning out all sound, repeating John B’s words over and over until the echo became the echo of itself. He could feel the ground opening beneath him despite not moving an inch. 

When gravity drags you down to earth, your rose-tinted glasses shatter like porcelain. 

He sees Pope’s face of shock, then laughter, then embarrassment and betrayal at once, once he’s realised JJ isn’t joking. He sees him get up from his knees, hands shaking as JJ fumbles over his words, unable to find an explanation or an excuse. He feels cold sweat breaking out on his forehead, blood turning to ice in his hands. He sees his mum leaving, his dad’s hand raised; he sees people arguing and JJ wants to cover his ears. He sees himself, alone, alone, alone. 

And he sees Pope turning his back to him. Quietly. He doesn’t even argue back. Just takes the no and i’m sorry, i can’t do this, it’s never going to happen, not like this and doesn’t say a word. Just walks away. 

It’d be easier if he screamed at JJ. At least he’d know how to deal with that. 

Pope’s heartbreak is the quiet kind, the one that doesn’t ask for attention, just the opposite. Usually JJ’s there to hold his hand, to sit by his side until Pope’s ready to talk about it, or be somewhere around, far enough so that Pope deals with things himself, but close enough so that he’s there if he’s needed. He’s never been the reason for the quiet. 

Fire replaces the ice. JJ feels like the sun itself is tearing him open. 

‘Shit,’ he says. ‘Fuck.’ Then raises his eyes until he meets John B’s, blurry and barely visible. ‘I fucked up.’

He doesn’t realise he’s shaking until his knees buckle under his weight and he stumbles to find his footing. John B shoots from the couch and pulls him into a hug, wrapping his arms around him so tight JJ couldn’t have escaped if he wanted to. He didn’t. He wanted to be held, even if by a friend. 

He doesn’t sob because the sob gets caught in his throat, too, but he lets out a cough that says all the same. ‘It would’ve been easier if you yelled at me.’

‘I know.’ John B pats his back, letting JJ rest his weight unto him. ‘Pope will understand. That’s why Kie went to talk to him. As long as you realise you’re hurting everyone by being an idiot, you can make it better.’

‘I thought—’ He stops, because his words get fumbled again, and now he’s pressing his eyes into his friend’s shoulder like he’s all he’s got. ‘I don’t want to hurt anyone again.’

‘You’re not going to, okay? Just… Marriage is not all taxes, and you gotta understand that. It’s about knowing that if they get hurt, you’ll be allowed to see them. That you can get a house together, that you can look after each other if something goes wrong. That what you have is there to stay. Think of it as a promise.’

JJ snorts, but he doesn’t let go. ‘I don’t do well with people promising things to me.’

‘Then promise it to yourself,’ counters John B. The way he puts it makes it sound it’s as easy as breathing – JJ wishes he could feel the same. ‘Promise to stay with him. Promise to be around if something bad happens, but if something good happens, too. That’s what marriage is.’

‘I already promised that,’ he says. ‘His future and mine are the same.’

‘Then what’s the problem? Marriage is just making it legal. Making it formal. When what you have is honest and true, it doesn’t change anything. It just makes things better.’

JJ pulls out, feeling confident he can stand on his own two feet. He still feels a little lightheaded, but the thought of Pope possibly thinking that spending the rest of their lives together is the last thing JJ would want… That is the last thing JJ would want. Pope hurting because of him. 

JJ can’t afford to be scared anymore; living a life half-way ready to run is not living. 

He checks his phone; it must’ve chimed at some point because there’s texts from Kie, telling him where she is with Pope. His heart skips another beat, and at this point he thinks he could have enough heartbeats for a whole new person just from the ones he missed. 

He’s not dying today. He’s not dying before he gets to live the future he’s almost ripped out of his own hands. 

When he looks up at John B, he feels the hint of a weary smile on his lips. ‘I think I’ve got a promise to make.’

—

It shouldn’t be a surprise JJ finds them at the Boneyard, yet it’s still quite odd to see the scenario he’s seen a million times – Kie sitting next to the sea with her feet dipped into water as her fingers splash at the waves just about reaching her, and Pope… Pope sitting on the half-dunked log that’s been here forever, with his feet bare but not quite touching the water. His head is hung low and JJ can see the strain in his shoulders even from halfway across the beach; the cap is sitting on his lap, unused, despite the sun high above their heads. 

The sight tugs at his heart and he falters in his step, but John B’s firm hand on his back encourages him forward. JJ gives a slight nod; he’s not giving up on the courage. 

It’s Pope who notices them first and he stiffens even more; JJ sees Kie pat his knee before turning around and waving at them, then saying something to Pope. JJ wishes the wind would carry her words to him – is it encouragement or telling Pope he’s better off without someone who panics and refuses the one thing they’ve always longed for?

‘Don’t.’ John B pats him on the back. ‘I see you doing your dumb thought thing.’

JJ opens his mouth to say something, but whatever it was that he meant to say, it’s gone forever. All he can do is try and keep his shoulders from slumping and hands from forming fists; he can’t allow himself to be angry at the world, or himself. 

The sand creaks underneath his feet. He hates it in this moment, because it makes him aware of every step he’s got to take to get to Pope, and the steps drag into eternity. 

Pope locks their eyes. JJ tries figuring him out, but he’s too far, and Pope’s too guarded. 

(Not against me, Pope. Please. Not against me.)

When they get there, JJ feels like fainting, but he sets his foot firmly on the ground. He’s not escaping. 

‘Hey,’ greets Kie, and John B returns the greeting. The feuded lovers stay silent, just taking each other in. 

(JJ always wished he could paint. The lines of Pope’s face are shaped as if they were meant to withstand centuries instead of being washed away with age. He wishes he could offer to Pope more than just… himself.

He’s talked about this with Pope before, though. Feeling inferior to his boyfriend was always going to be JJ’s Achilles’ heel, yet he didn’t think it would come to this. He made another promise, ages ago – to try to see himself the way Pope sees him. The way other people see him. 

To believe in himself the way he believes in other people, for once.)

The silence is heavy, but JJ forces himself to not see it that way. Instead, he looks over to Kie, to John B, and says: ‘Can you guys give us a second?’

There’s nods and then they’re off, with nothing between the couple aside from waves crashing into the shore. Pope’s head is hung and shoulders slumped, and he’s sitting on this log with one foot pulled up and resting on it, the other hanging in the water now. JJ’s fingers ache to reach across for his, but he tells himself it’s not the time. 

‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘Marriage scares me. I don’t know one that worked out, aside from John B and Sarah. I was raised to be on my own. Marriage means not being alone and that scared me, until I realised that… I haven’t been alone for a while now. The pogues, you… Nobody’s going anywhere. And if marriage is just a way to promise to you that I’m not going anywhere, either, and if it means so much to you, then I say let’s do it. I got scared, but never for a second did a life without you cross my mind. It’s — That’s my nightmare, Pope. Your future and mine are the same. Where you go, I follow. That’s the way things are.’

For a long time, it was JJ trying to come to terms with loving Pope – then it was Pope coming to terms with loving JJ. They’ve always loved each other, in a way, without quite saying it. It has never been the kind of love that is shouted from the rooftops – it’s the helping hand, the whispers of i got this, or you’re not alone in this, or i wish you could see yourself the way i see you. It’s the kind of love that’s etched into the air around them, existing as a part of themselves rather than something external. They’ve grown into it, shaped their lives around it.

It’s always been the beach for them. Their first kiss when they were seventeen, their first fight, their first promise to stick together through thick and thin. Every time something happened, something that mattered, etched itself into the back of JJ’s mind like the sound of his mother’s voice, it was always accompanied by the sound of waves on the shore; by the wind howling over the bay. It was always people chatting in the distance, or some music playing from a half-working speaker. It was always them, in the midst of other people’s lives. 

Pope proposed in their flat. 

When JJ drops to his knees, he doesn’t do his dumb thought thing. He doesn’t even think about it – for once, his gut isn’t telling him to run, but stay. ‘Pope Heyward.’

‘JJ—’

‘Can you let me do this?’ asks JJ. He laughs a little, shakes his head, and tries not to think about how ridiculous this looks. ‘I know I already had a monologue, but I don’t think I got my point across.’

Pope shakes his head, too; he isn’t smiling, but his eyes aren’t as strained anymore. ‘It’s okay, you don’t have to—’

‘I want to. I want this, okay? I want you to hear it.’

He can see Pope’s Adam’s apple bob, and he can see his shoulders slump in a relaxed way. The lines around his eyes soften and his lips nearly turn upwards, just a little bit. A little twitch is enough to shoot electricity to JJ’s heart. 

‘Pope, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life saying it to you. You’re my best friend, my boyfriend, and my fiancee, if you’ll have me after the shit I pulled today. Husband, then. Father of your children, because I know it’s what you’ve always wanted, and I want it, too. Whatever you’ll be, I’ll be by your side. It’s all I want. No matter what our status is, we’re always Pope and JJ. We’re always just us. And I really haven’t thought out what I’d say next because—’

Pope’s lips crash into JJ’s, his hands grasping at JJ’s face, and world pulls itself together again. When they part their foreheads lean against one another, and he can feel Pope’s breath on his lips, and he feels his hands burning on the small of Pope’s back, and he can breathe and breathe and breathe like his lungs have never worked properly before. 

(He understands John B now. Not like he’d ever admit it to him.)

He lets out a chuckle, and then he’s kissing Pope again – a small, chaste kiss, just to feel the softness of the touch. His fingers grip the back of Pope’s flannel and he’s laughing into the kiss. 

‘You’re an idiot,’ says Pope. ‘I should break up with you.’

‘Can’t. I’m too irresistible.’

‘Shut up. You’re cheesy. That entire speech would put John B to shame.’ 

JJ shakes his head again and then his thumb is tracing the line of Pope’s jaw, eyes transfixed by his lips. He almost lost this. He almost gave up everything out of fear after promising to never doing it again. (He’s making a vow, this time. It holds more weight.) ‘You loved that speech.’

Pope rolls his eyes, in the way that tells JJ he’s right. ‘Kie told me you were freaking out at the Chateau.’

‘I was,’ admits JJ. What’s the point of holding back the truth? ‘I was freaked out of my mind. I thought I’d ruined everything.’

‘You forget how well I know you, JJ. I was hurt, but I knew you would come back. Old you would run, but Kie came and said you’re at the Chateau, and you wouldn’t have gone there if you meant to run.’

‘I couldn’t ever run from you.’

‘You better.’

JJ rolls his eyes at the teasing tone in Pope’s voice, then pulls him in for a hug. It’s not long until Pope buries his face in JJ’s shoulder, and JJ kisses the side of his head. ‘I do want to marry you, if you’ll have me.’

There’s a pause and JJ feels Pope chuckle against his neck, shivering a little. ‘What is it that you said? My future and yours are the same? That better be in your vows, John B.’

‘Shut up.’ JJ feels himself burning, neck up this time, and tries to laugh it off. ‘I get to be cheesy once.’

‘Just save it for the wedding. I’d like to hear it again.’

JJ angles his body so there’s some space between them; he doesn’t hesitate before planting another kiss on Pope’s lips, reveling in the ease of movement. This is what coming home feels like, and if this is what future has in store for him, who is he to complain?

[angelanimedesaray]

Wings in the Dark Chapter 10:  Reparations

AN:  Yaaaaaayyyyy I got this one done.  For some reason I’ve been in a weird spot where I write more on my phone and my focus is better when I write on my phone, but I’m also super vulnerable to typos because AUTOCORRECT and its just harder for me to spot on the smaller screen with the tiny text, so excuse any typos.

Characters:  Levi, Fem!Vampire!Reader, Erwin, Petra, Oluo (Mentioned), Eld (Mentioned)

Pairing:  (Eventual) Levi x Fem!Vampire!Reader

Warnings:  Language.  Ikr, we just got super tame after a wiiild ride.

Word Count:  5124

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*Levi’s POV*

“I’ll admit, it would have been nice to know ahead of time that you were going to hijack the interrogation like that to antagonize her.”

Levi ignored the pointed jab at his actions down in the dungeons, gaze instead roaming around and taking stock of the people they past in a surveillance instinct too ingrained into his being by now for him to shut it off even going down the street towards a tea shop.

Considering L/N could hear so far out, even when she wasn’t paying attention, Erwin and Levi had decided to leave headquarters entirely to have this conversation.  Which was why they were now headed for a tea shop instead of Erwin’s office to discuss something so confidential.  Or at least their opinions on the situation, not necessarily the information itself.

"Did you at least get what you wanted out of it?" Erwin asked as they took seats at one of the outside tables.

"I did.  Mostly.  You?"

"I was skeptical when you told me, but after that little display of hers, she's clearly not human.  Not anymore."  Erwin leaned back in his seat and appraised Levi, their conversation pausing momentarily as they placed their order with the waitress that came outside to check on them.  Once she went back inside, Erwin continued.  "If you have more questions, why didn't you ask them before we left?"

"It had nothing to do with why we were there.  Personal curiosity. And it didn't seem like the time to ask."

Especially after he'd goaded her like that, making jabs at painful memories for her until she reacted, throwing harsh accusations at her semi-blindly and seeing if anything stuck.  The last thing she would want to do would be to give clarifying details about her past traumas to satiate his curiosity.

Her tale made her origins make more sense, but there were a few details that still weren't so clear to him.

The way she explained it, she was attacked and turned by a vampire the night before--for reasons unknown, he noticed.  She hadn't said why she was turned, or by who.  She'd actually glossed over that part and moved on--and then went home, not knowing what happened to her, thinking she was sick.  Her friend came to visit her, Y/N lost control, attacked and killed her, then fled.  He was sure there were details to make the tale far more gruesome, but this was what he knew for sure without letting his imagination run wild.

But then she'd shown up dead a few days later as well.  That was the part he was trying to figure out.

“Some deaths, okay, fine, I'll come back from it.”

So, she ran away after the initial panic, and then came back solely to fake her death so they wouldn't keep looking for her.

And by fake her death, she went for a...temporary death, something she would come back from.

But why go so far as to let herself be buried?  It was a closed casket funeral, so she could have snuck out before they sealed the casket and no one would have known.  Why wait?

He hadn't forgotten the fear and trauma in her eyes when she'd mentioned being buried alive was one of her deepest fears.  And now the mental image in his mind of a woman clawing desperately at a coffin, screaming for help while no one could hear her had a face to go with it, the face of someone he knew, no less.

It was humanly impossible to break out of a grave and crawl your way out.  But if you had vampire strength, and every time you suffocated from the lack of oxygen or the dirt crushing down on you and maybe even getting into your lungs...then it was possible. So long as you died a few times on the way up.

Shit...something like that had to do some damage to a person.

Not to mention what came after.  Forty years living in the Underground, roughly.  He'd only been down there a little over half the time she had.  And he hadn't spent it like she had--skulking in the shadows killing people because what she was demanded she kill to survive no matter where she was, and she couldn't go above ground not because it was denied to her, but because if she did she would literally die.  Yeah, he'd killed plenty of people in the Underground as well, but far less, and for a reason that was entirely different even if it could be worded the same.  He killed in fights because the Underground was that dangerous, or he was protecting people he cared about.  She had to actively hunt and kill people to...feed.

If she'd been in the Underground before he was even born...he wondered if they had ever crossed paths, and he just didn't remember.

Hell, with her criteria for who she hunted and killed, he was surprised she hadn't killed Kenny in all that time with him Underground.

Or maybe she had, after Kenny left.  It wasn't like Levi would know.  Though he was fairly certain the man had gone topside, which would mean out of her reach and away from her hunting grounds.

If only there was an alternative to her diet.  She’d laid out why it couldn’t be helped, and he understood that, they were good reasons.  But still, if there was another way...

“You're thinking about something rather hard over there, Levi,” Erwin commented, and Levi realized he’d been staring intently at the table and had even failed to notice that the waitress was in the process of delivering their tea.  Erwin was also watching him, though his hands were still in motion, his analytical gaze fixated on Levi’s still form.  Shaken out of his thoughts, Levi leaned back so he wasn’t leaning forward intently anymore, picking up his teacup to start drinking before it got cold.  Erwin waited until the waitress left to continue talking.  “Is it something I should know about her?  Another hunch, maybe?  The last one was mostly right.”

Levi snorted softly at that.  Mostly right his ass.  He’d been thinking murder and treason and assassinations, someone out to get them, someone seeking to harm people in the Scouts.  Ulterior motives and selfishness, malice.

Maybe the murder hadn’t been that far off, considering her body count, if he did the math right in his head.  And maybe she had been hiding a secret.  Perhaps she was dangerous, but so was Levi.  It didn’t mean she was an enemy.

“No,” he said curtly, putting an end to Erwin thinking Levi might be holding out on him regarding his suspicions after how off they’d both been about this situation.  “Like I said, it doesn't have to do with whether or not she's trustworthy and if she should be in the Scouts.  Just personal curiosity.”

“So you believe her?  About her intentions?” Erwin asked casually before taking a sip from his cup, eyes cast down as he spoke but flickering up to gauge Levi’s reaction once he finished speaking.

Levi eyed him because of the look on his face, but answered nonetheless.  “...I do.  She was sincere down there, some would say too honest.  Most people try to hide the fact they’ve killed hundreds--thousands--of people, or that they could kill the people who didn’t trust them without blinking an eye, but she was upfront about it.  She didn’t have to be.  She’s dangerous, that’s a reality no matter how you look at it, but she’s attempting to channel that into helping instead of just causing damage.”  Levi sighed, setting down his cup.  “I assumed a lot about her intentions and where she came from, and it's going to bite me in the ass.”

And he was probably going to have to put some effort into making amends after all this--especially with how he’d antagonized her down there and clearly crossed a boundary.  Several boundaries, actually.  And now that the moment had passed, the guilt was starting to settle in.  He’d accused her about some harsh stuff, some of which she was sensitive about, given her reactions.  She was the one who had to live with what she was, so he doubted someone going after the very things you might cling to in order to retain your humanity was something anyone would take kindly to.  After she saved his life--even if it had also been her that had almost killed him to begin with--after she protected him from herself and other vampires, even if he wasn’t aware, after she’d gone out of her way to learn from and appease the entire squad, after going through years of training to get where she was now, after putting so much at risk when she could have stayed safely in the shadows, after trying so hard to find a place topside, he’d jabbed at pretty much everything.  Her basic motives, her humanity, her intentions, her personality, everything.

He had a lot of damage control to do moving forward if they were going to keep working together.  He sincerely hoped he’d only damaged the well and hadn’t poisoned the water.  A damaged well he could fix, but a poisoned water supply…

Levi’s gaze narrowed at Erwin as he realized the other man still hadn’t said anything, his suspicions solidifying.

“What about you?  Do you think she’s a risk you’re willing to take?” Levi asked, echoing her words from down in the dungeon Levi had immediately known would catch Erwin’s attention.

“I am a man who likes a good gamble,” Erwin said with a bittersweet smile, resting his cheek on his fist as he considered the situation before them.  “As long as she’s not attacking other Scouts, she’s trying to keep her bloodlust under control, she’s not causing problems for or bringing more danger upon the Scouts...I don’t see why we shouldn’t let her stay.  From the sounds of it, having a vampire willingly join our ranks wanting to use all those abilities to help our cause is a once in a lifetime chance.  She’s offering it on a silver platter.  As long as she can keep herself under control, which she’s been able to do so far, I say we take her up on her offer.”

“And if she can’t?  If something happens and she loses control?” Levi asked, eyebrows raised.  She’d said it herself, she was a threat, there was always a chance something could happen, and that shouldn’t be forgotten.  But what would they do if she did slip up with no sign of being able to correct herself before it got out of hand?

“Then she’ll be our responsibility to take care of,” Erwin said evenly, gazing at Levi in a way that made him believe Levi would be the one to take care of her if she stepped out of line.  He had the best chance, yes, but it would still be risky.  “Hopefully we won’t have to kill her if anything goes wrong, she’s valuable, and it would be a huge setback to lose her vampire abilities...but if it ever comes to that…”

“It won’t be a problem,” Levi said flatly.  He meant that in the matter of conflict of interest, not that killing her if it ever came to that wouldn’t be difficult.

Erwin nodded.  “She stays in the Scouts, then.  I’ll have to factor in all this new information about where best to put her.  She probably shouldn’t be anywhere near medical, for her sanity’s sake.  And Levi?”  Levi fixed him with a stare as if to ask what the hell was up with his change of tone, which Erwin ignored.  “Considering the strangling tension between the two of you down in the dungeon, are you going to ease up now that you have the story--for the most part--or do I need to switch her to a different squad?”

Levi scoffed.  “I’m not going to apologize for being angry about the fact that she kills people, Erwin.”

“It's not like she has much of a choice, from the sound of it.  And she’s doing rather well, given her situation.  A lot of thought had to have gone into coming topside and joining the Scouts, how to pull it off.  She was ready with those questions, and considering she wasn’t planning on us figuring out what she was, that means she already went over those questions herself.  She’s going with what she believes to be the best route, and considering she’s more of an expert on the subject than we’ll probably ever be…”

Levi waved him off--he didn’t need this explanation, he already knew this.  She wasn’t going to prey on innocent people, she couldn’t afford to downgrade her diet too much considering she needed to be in peak health and control fighting in the Scouts, and she couldn’t just stop unless she wanted to die a slow and agonizing death.

Starvation over decades, maybe even centuries…

Regular starvation was bad enough, he knew that from personal experience.  He couldn’t imagine going out like that--he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.  Especially self-inflicted.

Levi’s gaze wandered to the few people in the street, moving idly from one person to the next, not really paying them any attention beyond basic people watching as he brought himself to his decision.

While he understood her position, that didn’t mean he was entirely comfortable with it.  But was he willing to try and make this work, to keep her on his squad--this time as his decision, not a decision Erwin made in the name of surveillance--and see if things could still work out despite the mess this entire ordeal had turned into that almost ended in his death.

Was it a damaged well, or poisoned water?

Was he going to cut his losses, or try to fix this?

“...Don’t put her on another squad,” he finally told Erwin.  “She’ll still have her skills put to the best use with my Squad.  I’ll figure out how to deal with...everything.”

He was going to try and make this work, despite the current friction between them.

The only question now, was how?

Erwin was the one to tell L/N that she was staying in the Scouts, of course, and by extension he was also the one to tell her she'd remain on Levi's squad, and that it was Levi's job to keep an eye on her and make sure she stayed in line.  As for Levi, it was back to business as usual while Erwin handled speaking with L/N.

And two days later, Levi abruptly decided that everyone was going to do a deep clean of HQ, assigning everyone at least one room, with L/N having two considering how fast and how well she cleaned, and himself having three so that he had plenty of time to think while he was cleaning.

Now that his concerns about betrayal and deceit had been assuaged, he could finally allow the softer sides of her he’d glimpsed to settle in his mind, too.  Between the darker side he now had a better picture of and the person he’d been seeing since she joined the Scouts, he could finally form a more complete picture of the new person on his squad and start to decide what he thought of her.

Any lingering concepts in his mind that she wasn’t up to the job went out the window--except for a general concern about her being around too much blood.  She hadn’t been in the middle of a truly hairy expedition with people dying left and right.  She’d been struggling when he was bleeding out in front of her--what would it be like when there were people dying bloody all around her?

Then again, she’d already pointed out that his blood was particularly alluring.

That was still an odd thing to think about--he was probably going to do his best not to think about it.

He wasn’t too worried about her being able to hand the more...psychological stresses of being a Scout.  If she could handle being directly responsible for death, and being around it so much after living in and hunting in the Underground, she might fare better than most in the environment.

If it hadn't been the sharper, harder edge he'd seen to her personality in the dungeon, the knowledge of the things she'd already seen and been through, he'd be worried she had too soft of a temperament and personality for the Scouts.  It had been what he'd seen from her before the whole vampire thing came out.

She was the woman who went out of her way to comfort the horses and make sure they knew they could trust her.  Who sat in the field with the horses and simply soaked in the sun's rays while drawing whatever she could see--namely horses, at least once the man who had been watching her, yet she never said a word.  She was the woman with a tea garden in a hidden corner of the Scout’s headquarters so that she could save more of her salary...and use it to shelter and provide for the parents who didn't know, and would probably never know, they're daughter was still alive.   The woman who snuck treats out to the horses from her own plate, who'd gotten at least half of Levi’s squad drinking their tea with a bit of white sage for health purposes--only Levi aware of just how much it was actually doing for them.  The one who had asked for a different kind of lesson or tutoring from each squad member so they wouldn’t feel like she was some air-headed newbie that thought she was better than everyone because she was put on a fast track to Levi’s squad fresh out of the cadets, so that they could feel like they were still teaching her something, that she was learning from them.  She was the kind of person who made little gestures like covering him with her cloak when she saw him asleep at the table without a second thought, or timing a fresh cup of black tea almost perfectly to help keep him alert when despite his insomnia he would start to feel tired in the middle of the day, who'd risked the loss of a leg to make sure Eld wouldn't get hurt even after Levi killed the Titan, and who had saved his life even though, at the time, doing so was a great risk to her, because he could put a swift end to the life she'd been trying to build above ground.

She was a good person at heart.  Complicated as hell, still dangerous and a risk, and she had her skeletons, her demons and dark secrets, her flaws...but still, a good person at heart.

He’d been watching her closely long enough to pick up on all of that and then some, even if he’d tucked most of it away for later evaluation considering at the time he was worried it might be a front for some insidious ulterior motive.

And he had to do something to try and mend the relationship they had.  They couldn't function as part of a squad with all this tension and friction, let alone as captain and subordinate, definitely not as a team.  There had to be some level of trust if they were going to be working together in the future, and right now, there was pretty much none, mostly because of him.  And he had to be the one to make a first step towards repairing the damage that he had inflicted so that they could start building at least the groundwork of a working trust in one another.  They would need it when they went out in the field, because all that raw ability meant nothing if they couldn’t function with each other.

Levi scrubbed harder at the stone floor, seeing his fingertips turn pale with the rest of his hands red from the hot soapy water and the pressure he was putting on the brush.

"Captain?"

Levi sighed, leaning back and putting the brush back into the water, turning and lowering the cloth over his face to look over at Petra standing in the doorway with a broom in hand.

"Oluo says he's done with his room, he's just waiting for your inspection," she informed him, though the look on her face was enough to tell him he'd be telling Oluo to do it all over again as soon as he saw it.

"I'll do it when I'm finished," Levi answered, raising the cloth over his face and pulling out the brush to start scrubbing again.  "Tell him to make sure he's finished while he waits."

"Yes, Captain," Petra said with a small nod, turning to leave.

"Has L/N finished with her two rooms?" Levi asked before she could leave entirely, focused on a new spot of stone as he spoke instead of looking up at her.

"Yes, sir.  She actually went outside, out front, to do some extra cleaning while she waited for you to be ready to inspect the rooms."

She was also really good at cleaning.  She had to be, right?  She'd lived below ground longer than he had, and her senses were extra sensitive.  One bad smell must be torture for her, the dust probably setting off her sensitive nose with the slightest buildup, her sight probably making it easier to pick out grime, and her speed making her a faster cleaner than anyone here--when she didn't have to slow down because she was being watched by someone who didn't know what she was.  No wonder she was so damn good at cleaning, why he hadn't found any flaws with it to date.

It almost felt like cheating to him, for some reason.

He pressed unnecessarily hard down on the brush again, feeling the bristles bend and strain slightly in the brush, his fingertips turning pale again.

"Tell her when she's finished with whatever she's doing right now to come up here," Levi told Petra, offering no more explanation as he continued scrubbing at the floor.

“Yes, sir.”

Petra left after that, and Levi focused on the room around him--his third room, mind you, and he was almost done.  His hands were red, a little raw, too, but it wasn’t anything serious.  He just kept getting lost in his thoughts while he was cleaning, and instead of calming down like he normally did when he cleaned, he’d tense up at those moments where he got lost in his thoughts.  He was going over his attempt at a peace offering over and over again, well aware that he wasn’t the best...people person, that communication on a social or emotional level was not his strong suit.  But he was hoping the intention behind the gesture would be clear.  She wasn’t an idiot--she was smart.  There was a decent chance she’d be able to see what he was trying to do.

Hopefully.

Levi was just starting to finish up, finishing with a bit of polish on the metal in the room when L/N finally made her appearance, standing in the doorway with similar cleaning additions to her uniform as him, though she had an apron on that was currently tucked up and into her straps to keep any dirt from falling onto the floor while she walked.

She must have been doing some garden and yard work, then.  Pulling weeds or something like that out front.  At least she wasn’t tracking dirt everywhere, from what he could see--and his eyes were scanning her and her surroundings carefully to make sure she wasn’t about to ruin his hard work.

“You wanted to see me, Captain?” she asked formerly, keeping her gaze fixed on him instead of letting it wander around the room at anything other than him.

That was a start, at least.  He’d be worried this entire rebuilding the bridge thing wouldn’t work out well if she couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

But the tension was still there, thick and uncomfortable, enough to put even him on edge.  There was a distance in her posture, a different kind of guarded than when he’d been snooping around and watching her every move.  Like she was hyper-aware of what he was going to think of her moving forward.

He was still coming to a decision about that one, honestly.

“You’re going to start training with me,” Levi said with no lead up, causing her eyebrows to raise in surprise, opening her mouth like she was about to ask questions before she quickly closed it again, since he continued to talk as if her reaction didn’t phase him in the slightest or give him any kind of pause.  “You’ve got some things to work on before the next expedition.  Two lessons a day, sparring and ODM gear.  Make sure you make the time for it.”

“Ah, Captain...I’m not sure if I...should…” she said hesitantly, caught between obeying what was close to a command from her Captain and a reluctance to take him up on the lessons because...what, was the tension that bad for her that she didn’t think she could train with him?  Did she not want to be anywhere near him any more than she already was?  Did she think she would make him uncomfortable?  Did she not like the thought of being alone with him?

That was a viable concern, actually.

Or maybe she just thought there wasn’t anything he could teach her.

On the contrary--she’d said herself that she was having trouble with the ODM gear.  She’d said one of her risks was that she reacted too fast for the gear to keep up with her, sometimes.  That was a problem, especially in a situation where one needed to rely on instincts--how could you rely on instincts while also trying to muffle them to lower to the level of the gear, or nearby people?

She needed help finding the middle ground, or at least training herself to instinctually pace herself so she didn’t outpace the gear in an emergency.  Like she’d pointed out herself, that kind of mistake could be the difference between life and death, even for her.

As for the sparring...well, the only people here that came close to matching their skills was each other.  Who else were they going to spar besides each other?  Besides, it would be refreshing to have someone he could actually go all out on that would be a challenge for him.  He was sure the same applied for her, now that she didn’t have to hold back to keep her secret hidden.

If that had been the reason she’d thrown the fight the first time they’d sparred.

Plus, all that raw strength and speed meant nothing if she didn’t know how to use it.  He could still teach her things, show her some techniques she could use in a fight, that kind of thing.

Is offer to teach her was his way of offering an olive branch to her...and he didn’t take too kindly to her starting to turn down the offer.

Levi narrowed his eyes slightly at her as she continued to cast about for a solid excuse to turn him down.  Most people here would kill for one on one lessons from him--a fact he was well aware of.  Yet here she was, proving just how out of the ordinary she was as she seemed to be beyond just the vampire thing, trying to weasel out of it.  “What?  Don’t think you have anything to learn because you’re so naturally gifted?” he asked in a jab much softer than his accusations during their interrogation.

“No, it’s just…” she started to say with a frustrated sigh, looking over her shoulder like she was looking at someone, even though no one was there.  “Eld’s already giving me ODM gear lessons…”

Was that really it?  He doubted it.  Yes, Eld was teaching her a few things, Levi was aware, but it wasn’t the same as what Levi was offering to teach her.  And it wasn’t a reason to turn him down in the first place.  Just another excuse.  Unless she was really worried about what the others would think if she got not only one daily private lesson with Levi, but two.  As much as Levi was usually of the opinion “To hell what other people think,” this one he could see where she was coming from if it was the case.  She’d just gotten the others to warm up to her despite their grumbling and cold shoulders after the extremely green rookie got sped through all the tape and obstacles right into Levi’s Squad while they put in hard work and were hand picked by Levi after some time in the Scouts after displaying their own strengths and skills over a period of time.  It must have looked like favoritism--and Levi giving her double private lessons wasn’t going to help anything.

It didn’t change the fact that she still needed them or could benefit from them.  And that it was a way for them to start making amends...in a roundabout way.

“ODM techniques.  Special maneuvers:  team and solo, correct?” Levi asked, mostly rhetorically, though she still nodded in confirmation.  Levi moved over to the table he was keeping his cleaning supplies on, starting to pack up his things so he could leave to start doing inspections of everyone’s designated rooms.  “I’m not going to be teaching you what Eld is.  You said you were having problems with reacting too fast for the gear, right?”

Levi spoke pointedly, giving her a sidelong glance so he could gauge her reaction and she could see he was serious about this--and that he didn’t have any ulterior motives.  She didn’t protest again.  She still looked a little uncomfortable, possibly because of the bump this could cause with the others once they found out, maybe because it meant the two of them were going to be spending more time with one another and they were going to have to get over this tension between them really quickly if they didn’t want to end up at each other’s throats trying to kill each other, but she didn’t protest anymore.

“Four a.m. in the woods for hand to hand.  Two hours before dinner on the training grounds for the ODM gear.  Don’t be late,” Levi told her, taking his supplies and leaving her behind in the room as his way of dismissing her.

Now to go yell at Oluo for not getting his cleaning job done properly, most likely.

Next Chapter---->

(Strikethroughs Couldn’t Be Tagged)

Levi Tags:  @humanitys-hottestsoldier @clary-quinn @sunny-flo​ @whalerus​  @thirstyforsometea

Wings in the Dark Tags:  @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @sociallyanxiousmouse @subtlepjiminie @hakunamatatayqueen​ @queenofcurse @linxiajei17 @levisbebe @toni-jones

[dumpsiteforfics]

Las Vegas, Baby!

Rating: PG-13 for this chapter.

Genre: Fluff, romance

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid

Warnings: slight mention of rape and murder! Only once, no graphical description!

Summary: This is from my Model au! This is two part story. Wait for part 2. ☺️ It's just something fluffy and cute. Just a reason to write these two together!

If you have a background idea about this au, you might be aware that I have used Spencer as model instead of Lila archer and Aaron is the agent who is gone on Spencer! Team comprised of Gideon, rossi, Hotch, Morgan and Garcia at that time!

You can check all my model au musings for more information -> 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 . Please ignore the typos and grammatical mistakes, English is difficult lmao!! Hope you enjoy! ❤️

"Okay everyone, we have a few hours till we reach Vegas, so get some shut eye if you need because we will start working until we find this unsub once we touch down!" Aaron ordered the team. Everyone agreed quickly as Aaron stood up to take his corner seat where he could spread out the files again. As he started looking into the files, making notes of some of the points they had already discussed, the team including Garcia who was still on the video call were talking quietly about lighter things before parting.

"So chocolate thunder, I hope you won't have too much fun without me over there. I'm so jealous that you are in Vegas after so long and I'm not even there!"

Morgan chuckled at Garcia's frustration, "I know baby girl! It's not everyday that we get a case in a city like Vegas! When was the last time we came for a case? Do you remember?" He mused out loud.

Rossi who was just listening to their talk quietly answered, "I think it was when we were helping with that stalker case of that gorgeous kid! What was his name again, Aaron?"

Morgan bit his lips to stop a chuckle passing through as they all watched minute change in their boss's posture. His back stiffened lightly and he frowned deeply before shooting a glare to Rossi as he replied, "Spencer Reid I believe."

Before Rossi could ask something more, Garcia gushed, "Oh God yes!! How did I forget!!! He was so gorgeous and sexy and he was such a cute little rabbit!! I wish I could have had a chance to meet him, you guys were so lucky to have met him!"

Emily and JJ were the only ones at this point who seemed to be out of loop and after watching Garcia's reaction they couldn't ignore asking anymore.

"Okay, holdup Penelope, what's going on? " It was Emily who finally asked her.

"Ohhh he is this gorgeous baby model! He is pretty much famous now but at that time he was being stalked by his obsessed best friend. And BAU was involved. This was back when Gideon was still on team and our fearless leader here was Spencer's security detail! " And then Garcia's voice turned into a hushed (still a bit loud) whisper as she continued, "Bossman's photo with the model was on the front page of all fashion magazines. They created quite a buzz around as well!"

"Okay that's enough!! Everybody go to sleep or I can give you work to do right now, choose wisely!" Hotch ordered, looking pointedly at every single one of them and within a second Garcia bid goodbye, disconnecting the call quickly!

Everyone else just shared a knowing glance with each other before dispersing to their preferred seats all over the plane!

It was going to be a long case, Aaron thought!!

***†***

The team soon forgot all about this supposed model who seemed to be a somewhat touchy subject for their boss. As they reached the LVPD, they were quickly immersed in the work, giving all of their focus to the case as it should be!

It was a bad case, of course all the cases are bad, but there are always some cases who suck everything good out of them, and this was one of those! Closeted teenagers being raped and murdered and the only good thing about it all was that the LEOs were helpful instead of hindering the investigation, without their full support the case would've taken a lot longer.

They were supposed to be flying out that night but the Jet was not in a good condition and their pilot told them that they will most likely be able to fly the next night! Though they would've loved going home as soon as they can, spending a night in Vegas didn't seem like such a bad option.

The team was talking about where they should have dinner and how they should spend the night, considering they didn't have any work and it was as good as vacation! Aaron was in a separate corner talking to someone on the phone and they all just thought he was talking to Strauss, giving her idea about the case and the delay!

As he came back, the team had already decided on a few options, so Rossi put a hand on Aaron's shoulder before saying, "Aaron, we are thinking of hitting this really nice restaurant for dinner, my treat, we deserve it after this long case!"

Surprisingly Aaron shook his head, he waited for a second to choose his words carefully before explaining the reason. "I'm sorry I won't be joining you all tonight! I have dinner plans already with someone else, we will meet tomorrow at the airport when the plane is ready to takeoff! "

Everyone was quite! This was probably the first time they have heard Aaron Hotchner having plans other than work and spending time with the team! He looked cute trying to look stern so no one would ask him questions, but well Rossi was never the one to shut his mouth when Hotch needed it.

"Does it involve certain model with curly hair, bambi eyes and smile to die for?" He asked, like a little shit he was!

But tonight seemed to be a night of surprises because instead of receiving a well placed glare, all they received was a rare dimpled smile which made almost everyone pause their breathing for a second, because yeah it was that gorgeous!

"Well that's for me to know and you to never find out!" Aaron replied, still smiling, before he left them.

They just looked at each other, not really sure if that really happened, but then Morgan whistled, "He is so fucking meeting that boy!!! I knew it! Penelope is going to love this gossip!"

There was still so much about their boss that they weren't aware of!!

***†***

As soon as Aaron rang the bell, Spencer was there opening the door with huge smile! Before Aaron could even place his bags down, he was enveloped in a bear hug by none other than The Spencer Reid, model, actor and his boyfriend!

"I didn't think you'd really come! God!! You are here, you are really here!! Shit, let me see you!" Spencer pulled away, his hands immediately cupping Aaron's face, those eyes almost a bit teary and Aaron felt his heart breaking a little bit! Both of their jobs required a lot of their time and they had to travel constantly. And with the amount of work they both had, they weren't able to spend a lot of time together at all! They both travelled back and forth whenever they got the free time in their schedule, but currently Spencer was working in a movie and he had been so busy with the work that they were not able to meet for more than six months.

Spencer pulled away before taking him inside the house, inside his bedroom. And Aaron kept his bags in their designated place before going to take shower. He would have really liked to have Spencer with him in there but from the looks of it, he had already showered.

So he focused on taking a quick shower, feeling better already in the close existence of his love as the hot water started to relax his tired and aching muscles. He dried his body quickly, snapping one towel around his waist as he came out of the bathroom, drying his head with other towel.

But then it was snatched away by clever fingers and he was pushed on the bed, sitting at the end of it before that lithe body he loved so much was sitting across his lap! Spencer straddled him, before starting to dry his head with the towel he snatched earlier. Aaron hummed as he felt Spencer throwing away the towel after a few minutes before raking his long fingers through his locks. He knew how soothing it was for Aaron, and it helped in melting away those last few evidences of the tension he still had.

He wanted to kiss his boyfriend, preferably 10 minutes ago, but they had a silent agreement. If he kisses now, they won't have a dinner, and he very much wanted to have that dinner with his boyfriend, he wanted to listen to his rants, he wanted to feed him few bites, play a little game of footsie just to make his boyfriend giggle childishly and then when they are full, then he will kiss him! Small, butterfly kisses at first and then they will get heavier and then they will start touching each other and that time they won't have to stop in the middle of it for anything. Because then they'll have only one purpose, to feed the hunger their bodies felt these past few months, and relearn each other's bodies, love those spots and crooks and valleys all over again, and intertwine as one to not part again for little while.

They'll do all of that, soon, but first dinner!!

[thatesqcrush]

Neighbors, Pt. 4

Rafael Barba x Reader. CW: angst, gun violence, language. Episode references: Nationwide Manhunt (SVU) & The Song of Gregory William Yates (CPD). WC: 1200 (1454)

AN: Another non-smut chapter? Who am I? Forgive me for typos.

AN2: I am starting off with a tiny snippet of ch.3′s ending only because it’s been awhile since I updated, hence the word count difference noted above.

--

The next morning, Rafael knocked on your hotel door, hoping to check in on you. You opened the door, clad in nothing but an oversized t-shirt, that barely skimmed the tops of your thighs. Rafael swallowed hard.

“Hey – “ Rafael began. His voice trailed as he looked past your shoulder, watching Adam walk in the background.

“What’s up? I told Liv I’d be down in 20. Has there been an update?”

“Um, yeah – overnight Carisi and Rollins apprehended Rudnick. He was discovered hiding in a docked boat by Caroga Lake. Rudnick suffered multiple injuries.” Rafael replied. Adam joined from behind, tugging on his shirt. Rafael ignored him, focusing on you.

“I'm not shedding any tears.” You replied, as you crossed your arms.

“Yates hobbled him - broke both his knees, his ankles, pierced his eardrum. Just left him to die.” Rafael continued.

“Is he talking yet?”

“Only to Carisi, and he's in and out of consciousness. He did indicate the plan was to cross the border at the Saint Lawrence River.”

You pushed past Adam and grabbed your jeans, which were laying on a heap on the floor. “Come on – lets go.”

“What are you going to do?” Rafael asked.

You holstered your gun. “What I should have done a long time ago.”

“Olivia…”

“Olivia nothing. Now, Rafael – just get out of my way.”

Rafael looked at Adam. “You’re going to let her just go after a serial killer?” Adam scoffed. “No. I’ll go with her. Now we’ll see you at the church.”

--

Rafael followed you to the elevator bank, basically nipping at your heels. “Y/N – don’t be foolish. This is exactly what Yates would want you to do.”

You ignored Rafael and pressed the down button repeatedly, as if doing so were to make the elevator arrive more quickly. “Y/N! Just stop!” Rafael put a hand on your shoulder. You spun, coming chest to chest with the prosecutor.

“Rafael, this is not your battle! Back off!” You snapped. The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival. Rafael moved to follow you and Adam stepped in front of you, blocking Rafael.

“Let her go man.” Adam replied sternly, outstretching his arm on the elevator side portal, preventing the door from closing.

Rafael looked past Adam’s shoulder, to you. “Y/N.”

You met his eyes, which like yours, were wet with unshed tears. “Rafael. Try to understand.”

Adam stepped aside and the door began to slowly shut. Rafael tried pressing the call button to prevent it from closing, but it was too late. Rafael swore loudly and took out his phone, making a call to Liv.

--

Back at the church, Rafael pushed past through the cornucopia of law enforcement, in hopes of spotting you. He spotted Liv and made way towards her.

“Liv!”

“I can't get a hold of Y/N.” The brunette lieutenant replied with worry etched on her face. She spotted Adam walking over in the distance.

“Adam!”

“Where’s Y/N?” Rafael asked angrily.

“Wait – she’s not here?” Adam asked as he placed his hands on his hips.

“I thought she was with you.” Rafael replied. “You two left together.”

“No. We split up. I followed a dead end. She followed another. Where’s Lindsay?”

“She’s not here either.” Liv replied, frowning. “Did Lindsay know Yates was headed north?”

“I guess... Dodds put an APB out on a pickup truck he hot-wired.” 

“They’re both going after him.” Rafael replied. “I might have let out that Rudnick mentioned that the plan was to cross the border at the Saint Lawrence River.” Rafael replied, before letting out a slew of curse words in Spanish.

Amanda jogged over. “Liv, I just got word that Dodds is with Lindsey and Y/N.”

Liv grabbed her police radio. “Dodds, this is Liv – you need to turn around. Now.”

--

“Copy that, Lieutenant. Liv wants us to come back.” Mike replied, as he began to turn the car around.

“Yeah, I'm not doing that.” You replied. Lindsey nodded, as she leaned forward from the middle backseat. “I’m with Y/N on this.”

“Detectives, I know he killed someone close to you, but this isn't us anymore.” Mike reasoned.

Lindsey shook her head and from her peripheral vision, spotted an abandoned police car. “What the hell is that? There's been no radio traffic. Pull over.”

Mike brought the car to a stop. It had started to rain hard, coming down in sheets making the ground muddy and slippery with wet leaves. The three of you each drew out your guns and carefully canvassed the area. Lindsey spotted the body of the trooper.

“I got a trooper down!”

“Is he –” you asked, knowing full well the answer.

“He's gone. So's his gun!” Lindsey shouted as realization hit her.

The sound of gunshots filled the air. You all ran to take cover, but it was too late for Mike, as a bullet tore through his shoulder.

“Dodds!” You screamed.

Mike groaned as he made way behind the car. “Stay down. Take cover!” He reached for his radio. “This is Sergeant Dodds. Shots fired; two officers down. Suspect is armed and in flight. Requesting immediate backup. I repeat, immediate backup!”  Mike groaned leaning against the car.

“Dodds, are you okay?” Lindsey asked rushing over.

“I'm fine. Just stay down.” You noticed a dark figure in the trees and you took off in hot pursuit.

“Detective, what are you doing? Detective, stay down!” Mike shouted.

Lindsey whipped her head around and took off after you. “Get back here! Wait for backup! Get back here! Detective!” Mike continued to shout.

You pursued Yates, firing your gun as you did so. Your lungs burned as you ran at full speed. Suddenly you were hit with searing pain at the knee. “Fuck!” You screamed. Your leg immediately buckled and you fell to the ground, your hands bracing against the wet ground. You leaned up slightly, but before you could do anything more, you were hit with another bullet, this time to your shoulder. You collapsed in pain, unable to move. The rain was cold but your shoulder and leg were warm as blood seeped through. Shakily you touched your shoulder, wincing as you touched the wound. You brought your hand to your face, seeing your fingertips coated in your blood.

“Y/N! Y/N – are you okay?” You looked up and saw Lindsey above you.

“Yates…” You gritted. “Go get the bastard.”

Lindsey nodded. “I’m coming back for you; I promise.” Then Lindsey took off.

Her footsteps trailed off and you focused your attention to the sky above you. You watched the rain fell; deep throbbing pain began to radiate through you. You were soaked to the bone and you began to shiver. You felt sleepy and your eyes fluttered close. The last image you had in your head was of Rafael at the elevator from earlier. Your face was wet – you could no longer tell what was rain and what were your tears. You forced your eyes to remain open, willing yourself to stay awake. It was too much and you felt yourself giving in. 

‘Rafael – I am so sorry.’

--

Your eyes fluttered open, voices above you shouted nonsensical things; you could make out an intense bright light, but it was fuzzy. You could hear the urgency in the voices around you. Your brain made out the words – “subclavian artery” and “the one in the knee wasn’t through and through.” It took too much energy to stay awake; it was so much easier to give in to the darkness.

--

Rafael knocked gently on the door to your room. He carried a bouquet of orange roses. He winced, seeing you in bed, your shoulder in a sling as well as your leg. Adam looked up at him. “Hey.”

“How – how is she?” Rafael asked, as he made his way in.

Adam frowned. “She – she developed compartment syndrome. So they had to do another surgery. But they said with time, PT – lots of PT, she should be okay.”

“Another surgery? Jesus, fuck.” Rafael let out a long exhale. 

Adam scratched his chin, eyeing Rafael up and down. He took a deep breath before talking. “You know, she talks about you. Non-stop.”

Rafael looked at the young detective in surprise. “She talks about me?”

Adam nodded. “Ever since she moved to New York. Her pain in the ass neighbor who she works with. Look, she and I…. what we had… at the time, it was great. It was great until it wasn’t. So yeah, she talks about you. Take that for what it is worth.”

Rafael let out another exhale. “Okay.”

Adam’s phone buzzed and he looked at it. “I gotta go, Yates is back in Chicago – but… but having been in this spot myself - when you're waking up, it’s better when there is someone is there. You shouldn’t be alone. It’s good that you are here.”

Rafael shook Adam’s hand. “Good luck.”

“Thanks. Take care of our girl.”

Rafael nodded and turned his attention back to you. He felt incredibly helpless seeing you. You seemed so small and fragile in the large hospital bed. He took out his phone and played your favorite Bach cantata. And when he was certain that Adam was gone – he dropped his head into his hands and cried.

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