#steve rogers reader

[buckyownsmylife]

Damned if I do ya (Damned if I don't) - Steve Rogers smut

The one where Steve has been your one constant but now that you're both in college, things are about to change.

Warnings: smut, innocent!reader, college!au, small age gap, innocence kink, sexual advances from third-parties without proper preparation but with consent, fuckboy!Steve, jealousy, possessiveness, fingering

Word count: 4.6k

You’d been the most important person in Steve’s life for as long as he could remember. Having been born in the family that lived right next door to his house, you two grew up together, and being two years younger than him meant you were the closest thing to a little sister that he had.

He was your lifeline, even when he was nothing but a scrawny kid getting beat up by bullies - anything to protect you. And you were his reason to smile, the one person who could get him to do anything and everything you wanted just as long as it’d make you happy.

Which is why it was so fucking hard for the both of you when the time came for him to go to college and you remained at your hometown, exchanging letters “like some goddamn army wife” (your words, not his) while he partied as a freshman and then a sophomore, taking advantage of the blessed growth spurt puberty had given him.

Yes, little Stevie was not so little anymore. In fact, little Stevie was, by all means, a big deal at the college campus, breaking hearts and forging friendships like he’d never been able to do back home.

And still, when it came time for you to join him in college, it was undeniable that the hold you had on him was still strong - perhaps even stronger than ever before.

“Fuck!” Steve exclaimed, arms falling at the side of his body when you opened up a smile upon finding him waiting for you at the bus stop. Puberty had blessed you too, he realized, suddenly anxious about not visiting home for the last two years and missing the way your curves had become more pronounced, your body now that of a woman.

You were hot, he realized with a startle. Not so little anymore yourself, and Steve knew he was in for a world of trouble when you ran towards him in a fit of giggles and jumped right in his arms.

“I didn’t know you’d be here, Stevie!” He could barely make out your words as they were spoken against the crook of his neck, not because of the volume of your voice or the noise that surrounded you in the busy street, but because of the goosebumps that your lips on his skin elicited.

“Where else would I be, princess?” It was the only thing he thought to say - a return to your old ways, the teasing relationship you always had. “My best girl is coming to college, of course, I’ll be here to welcome you.”

Steve felt you smile against his shoulder and his heart skipped a beat. He knew he had missed her, but he didn’t realize just how much until she was right there in his arms, the scent of her natural perfume engulfing him.

“I love you, Stevie.”

The following months, the adjustment of Y/N to this new life, was nothing short of hell to Steve. Because it turned out he was right - his little girl was hot now, and he wasn’t the only one who thought so.

“Hey, Y/N!” Some stupid fucking jock jogged in the direction of your table, only briefly glancing at Steve before deciding to ignore him completely. “Are you coming to the party on Saturday?”

You munched on your sandwich quietly, giving it a thought. You’d never been one to party, Steve knew that, but you had been acting a little differently since you arrived. He didn’t know what was going on with you but trusted you’d talk to him about it whenever you decided it was time.

“I think so.” His eyebrows shot up in surprise. He stopped drinking from the bottle of water halfway to his lips to frown in your direction. “I’ll let you know when it’s closer, maybe we’ll meet there?” You nodded, a small smile to the jock who grinned brightly at you.

That was clearly the answer he was hoping for and Steve hated it.

“When were you going to tell me that you were planning on going to a college party?” Your eyebrows were furrowed as you munched on your sandwich, clearly confused about Steve’s emotions.

“Well, I’m in college now, aren’t I?” You reasoned, as if Steve had forgotten. “I figured it was time for me to get out of my comfort zone and try some new things. I was never really interested in parties but I never gave them much of a chance back home. Let’s see what I think of them now.”

As much as Steve hated to admit, you made sense. He had two years of college experiences under his belt to collect memories from, whereas your freshman year had only just started.

He wouldn’t be the one to put a damper on this moment of your life. So he just nodded. “Okay, so we’ll go together?”

Your eyes lit up at the question and Steve’s heart skipped a beat. “Really?” Shrugging, he took another gulp of water to cool down, acting as if the question was no big deal.

“Sure. I’ve been going to parties long before you got here, little one.” You rolled your eyes at the childhood nickname he used to address you, but Steve knew you well enough to see that it touched you.

“Oh, a party boy, aren’t you?” You teased, but he could only nervously chuckle. You had no idea the kind of man Steve had become, and he was nervous for you to find out that Saturday.

“How long does it take you to get ready?” He groaned, impatiently adjusting himself in his sofa, where he had been shunned to the moment you walked into his apartment with a bag full of cosmetic items you’d be using to primp yourself for the party. “I don’t remember you being this slow!”

He wasn’t even that late - after all, he wasn’t one to arrive at the start of any sort of gathering, but he was anxious about you being at a frat party, surrounded by guys who couldn’t be trusted. This was the one thing he could control: whatever happened before you set foot at that place.

“Jesus, relax. When you left I had no idea how to put on makeup and no reason to do so. Things are different now, big boy.” Steve shivered at the new nickname. It had appeared after your arrival when you started to realize how much of a big deal Steve was on the college campus. It was teasing, of course, but it was also reverential enough to boost his ego, as much as Steve hated to admit it.

“Okay, how do I look?” You asked, reappearing from the small hallway that led to his bedroom and Steve sat up on the couch, eyebrows furrowed as he took in your dress.

“No. Absolutely not.” Your frown almost had Steve faltering in his stance, going back on it to apologize for making you disappointed but one more look at your outfit and he knew he simply couldn’t stand to allow you outside the house wearing almost nothing.

“You don’t like it?” You pouted, turning to check yourself at a mirror Steve kept in his living room. “I thought I looked cute!” You looked a lot more than cute. You looked…

Hot. Attractive. Any man’s wet dream, to say the least.

“No, huh…” Steve tried, running his fingers through his hair. “You do!” He assured you, and while that was enough to get you grinning again, it was clear it wouldn’t get you to change out of your clothes and into something that made him more comfortable about the idea of you going to that party.

“It’s just… You’re showing a lot of skin,” he settled for saying, and once you realized what was his concern, you rolled your eyes and giggled.

“I’m sure this is not that different from what the girls you date wear to parties, Steve!” You weren’t wrong about your assessment, but you were wrong about one thing in your sentence.

He didn’t date those women. He fucked them. Hard. And just the thought of some college boy doing the same thing to you as he did to those girls brought a territorial feeling to his stomach that left him stuck between punching the drywall or puking all over his own carpet.

“I’m not changing!” You announced, already searching for your bag as he stood there, chest heaving and hands curled into fists.

“Then why did you ask me for my opinion?” He asked, genuinely confused until you looked over your shoulder to smirk at him.

“Dunno. Guess I thought your taste had gotten better since you became a city boy or whatever.” Steve narrowed his eyes at you, not quite believing the mischievousness you were displaying.

“God, you are suck a fucking brat.” Your laughter rang in his ears long after it faded into the apartment you both left, and it was the only thing that kept him from cringing at how fucking loud the music was when you both got to the party.

“Oh, look!” You grinned, waving at someone he couldn’t identify. “My classmates are here!” He tried to keep you close, he really did. But it was a battle he was destined to fail in such an environment, and eventually, he lost you to the crowd at some point during the night.

He ended up in the frat house’s garden, trying really hard to locate you without looking like a rude asshole to the girl who had been talking his ear off for the past hour or so. He had almost asked her to shut up about a thousand times, but he knew he was being bitter.

He should probably entertain her. She looked pretty enough, and it’s not like he had put in the effort to find anyone else who’d go home with him tonight.

Any plans he’d have were quickly shattered when you stumbled in his direction, suspiciously giggly as you looked over your shoulder at the boy he recognized from lunch the other day.

“So… Stevie…” You started, clearing your throat after sending an apologetic look at the girl he’d been talking to, who if looks could kill, would have you dead at the spot. He would have told her off if the next words out of your mouth hadn’t shocked him so greatly. “Leo’s gonna take me back to my dorm, if that’s okay with you.”

You pointed at the stupid jock who looked like he had just won the fucking lottery, while Steve felt his heart on his throat. “So I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You sent a smile at the girl who was still hovering, one she then decided to reciprocate, having realized you weren’t actually a threat to her ambitions for the evening.

“Wait,” he stopped you, hand clasping your wrist and making you trip on your high heels. But he caught you. He’d always catch you. “Don’t go.”

Steve didn’t miss the way you immediately hesitated, coming down from your excitement to try to understand what was going through his mind despite desperately wanting to leave the party with that boy.

“You want me to stay here with you?” You frowned. It was his turn to hesitate because he didn’t know what he wanted. Suddenly, he wanted to be back at his place, with you in his arms, watching whatever crappy movie he could find, just to hear you laugh when he repeated the lines with a poor imitation of the actor’s voice.

“Steve?” Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, as your eyes glanced from him to the girl he’d been talking to. “Are you sure you want me to stay with you?”

You were prepared to abandon your plans to help him if he needed it. But Steve wasn’t bothered by the random stranger in the slightest. He just didn’t want to imagine what your night would be like if you spent it with Leo.

His anxiety seeped through every pore of his body, he was sure of it. He held your wrist so tightly, he wasn’t sure how you weren’t wincing.

“Just… stay,” he tried to make you understand what he wanted even though he wasn’t sure of what that was and somehow, you did get it because of course, you did.

“Steve, come here.” Gently, you pulled him away from both people waiting for the two of 0you so you could talk to him somewhat privately. “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to stay at the party!”

He changed his weight from one foot to the other, trying to come up with something to say, but he couldn’t. So when you sighed, he already knew he was screwed.

“Listen, Stevie… I know you’re just being overprotective, but you gotta let me live my own college experiences… You know, the same way you’ve been living them while I was away?” He looked down at his feet, trying not to accept that your words made sense so he wouldn’t feel like such a douchebag.

“So, would you do something for me?” You asked, cradling his face to ask him to meet your eyes again. He just nodded. You knew he’d do anything for you. “Will you please let me get a ride with this dumb handsome guy?”

Your evaluation of the jock calmed him down somewhat, and he chuckled. Still, he couldn’t let this go. “Come back to my place,” he asked, wrapping his hand around your wrist once more.

“But Steve…” You tried to argue, but the second his head started shaking from one side to the other, you closed your mouth.

“You can leave with him,” Steve allowed, although it killed him inside. “But come back to my place. Okay?”

He knew this wasn’t much to ask from you. And so you smiled, nodding before standing up on your tip toes to kiss his cheek. “See you later,” you whispered. It was almost enough to calm him down.

But as he watched you leave with another man, he couldn’t help but to think that you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen, and that for the first time in his life, he really wanted to kiss you.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t stay much longer at the party. As attractive as the blond girl was, she couldn’t hold his attention, not when you occupied his every thought.

He just wanted to be alone, and in a place where he didn’t feel like he had to scream his own thoughts to make sense of them. Had these parties always been this loud?

Still, it was late when he got home, and there was no sign from you yet. He checked his phone, no text messages, so he sat on the couch and tried to occupy his mind so he wouldn’t freak out with all of the possibilities of what might be happening between you and Leo right at that moment.

But of course… he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

He recognized your arrival by the sound of your heels on the apartment’s hallway, even though it felt off, somewhat. He opened the door for you before you could even knock on it.

You were startled at first but then smiled, once again standing on your tiptoes to greet him with a kiss on the cheek. “I’m here!” You announced, grinning as you made your way in and threw your purse on the couch, but as you followed suit, Steve couldn’t help the frown that made its way to his face.

“Why are you walking funny?” Your smile dropped instantly, and you started nibbling on your bottom lip as you averted your gaze.

“Oh, I… uh.. It kinda… burns?” Steve could only look at you, unmoving, trying to make sense of what you were saying, but as the seconds ticked by, he realized he just couldn’t.

“Why?” It was a question you clearly were hoping he wouldn’t ask. But he was determined to get to the bottom of this now. So he sat by your side, pulling your hands to his lap and squeezing them. “Petal, please,” he begged, and at last he saw you turn your head to look him in the eye again.

“Oh, you know…” You fidgeted in your seat, looking down at where your hands were joined. “Leo.” Resisting the urge to scoff, Steve shook his head even though you weren’t looking at him anymore.

“No,” he voiced it, because he needed to hear you explain it. “I really don’t know.” Silence followed his statement, a pause much longer than Steve was hoping for, but he didn’t want to push. He was eager to know - desperate, even. So he couldn’t risk scaring you or worse, angering you.

“He… touched me,” you eventually admitted, and he could have sworn his heart stopped beating right then and there. But now that the confession was out, you couldn’t stop talking anymore, all embarrassment gone as you looked him directly in the eyes and commented, “And let me tell you, I really don’t know what all the fuss is about. Do girls really like this? It stings like a bitch, I could honestly do without.”

You tried to get up from the couch then, prepared to leave this entire discussion behind, but Steve hadn’t even processed your first words.

“He… He fingered you in the back of his fucking car?” He asked, voice getting louder at each word until he was yelling by the end of the sentence.

All it earned him was a frown.

“It wasn’t in the back,” you explained. “We were both in the front seat.” The fact that this wasn’t the point seemed completely missed by you, who just stared at him dumbfounded as he gritted his teeth together.

“I’m gonna punch that fucking bastard.” All Steve could think was that you were too innocent, too pure. Too young to be touched like that, especially by someone who didn’t even care enough to do it properly.

He didn’t seem to remember that he’d done much the same thing when he first arrived in college, with girls exactly as old as you were.

But you caught onto it quickly. “Why are you so angry?” You questioned, not understanding why Steve was behaving this way. It was clear he wasn’t angry at you, but his emotions were fluctuating between Leo and himself, and that was enough to have your mind turning, trying to follow his (absent) reasoning.

Until he provided some sort of answer.

“Because you deserve more than that!” He shouted, and you were sure your eyes were as wide as two plates, but as he caught his breath, you realized he wasn’t done, not nearly at all. “You deserve someone who will at least get you wet before they slip anything inside of you.”

He was gonna do it. He was gonna say it. He couldn’t stand the thought of keeping it in for a second longer, not now that he knew how he felt about you.

You deserved to know. But most of all, he deserved to live with the peace of coming to term with his own feelings.

Before he could do just that, you interrupted his plans, a single word uttered in the form of a question, stopping him dead on his tracks.

“…Wet?”

Your confusion was incomprehensible to him, so he just waited to see what else would come of it.

“You mean… like… pee?”

Steve blinked once, then twice. He thought he had misheard you, because there was just no fucking way you didn’t know what he was talking about.

But the longer you two stood there, staring at each other, it became increasingly clear that it was, in fact, the case. And that’s when it hit him.

There were more important things in life than his own feelings. Yours, for instance. And your innocence. He’d do anything to preserve that.

Sighing, he forced himself to take one deep breath as he ran a hand through his face and considered his next move. You were his responsibility. He had to teach you about these things or otherwise all of your other experiences with sex would be as terrible and underwhelming like this one.

“Come here, princess.” At the sound of the familiar pet name, you relaxed, slipping your hand in his and following him towards the couch, where he sat down and pulled you to occupy the seat next to him.

You wanted to be on his lap, but you saw the serious expression he wore. Whatever he was about to say was demanding a lot of him, and you didn’t want to interrupt him.

“No, I don’t mean pee,” he finally got it out, looking up at the ceiling as if to ask for strength to get on with what he needed to do. “When you get excited, petal, it’s natural for your body to produce this sort of… natural lubricant. It prepares you for someone else’s intrusion, so it won’t feel hurtful, but exciting. Do you get it?”

He watched attentively for any micro expressions on your face, and so he caught when your shoulders loosened, tension leaving your body all at once.

“Oh…” Adrenaline shot through his veins at the simple word, alarm bells ringing in his ears, almost making him dizzy. For some reason, the way you averted your gaze and nibbled on your bottom lip, despite keeping your hand in between his, had dread taking over all of his senses.

“You seem embarrassed,” he pressed, squeezing your hand as if to give you the strength to tell him what was going through your head. In reality, he was trying to calm himself down, remember that you were there, right next to him, and as long as he could protect you, you’d be okay.

“It’s just…” You hesitated, playing with the outrageously short hemline of your dress. “I know what that’s like.”

All at once, Steve felt as if someone had punched him, all of the air in his lungs escaping as he let your words wash over him, the reality of the moment weighing him down.

He hated that it disappointed him to know that someone had aroused you, but he was only human. Even worse - he was a man. And he knew that meant he was selfishly egocentric, to the point where he questioned if he would have ever realized his feelings for you if it wasn’t for that damn party tonight.

“Has it happened to you before?” He found himself asking, not sure if he wanted to know or not. The suspense might kill him, but having a name might give him a reason to kill the person, get rid of the being who had the luck of captivating the one who had his heart in the palm of her hands, without even knowing.

You turned your face away, unable to meet his eyes. Truthfully, you were overwhelmed, something inside of you knowing that what you were about to admit was a bit much, too intimate, too personal.

But this was Steve. Your Steve. And at the end of the day, you trusted him with your life. If you couldn’t talk to him about this, you’d never be able to talk about it to anyone and Lord knows after what happened tonight, you clearly needed all the help you could get.

“Yeah,” you breathed out in a soft sigh. “It happens to me all the time.” You felt his hand squeeze yours again, eliciting a small smile from you. You loved how safe he made you feel, you loved knowing he was there for you, especially after having spent so long without him.

“When?” Frowning, you looked up at him with confusion in your eyes. You’d assumed it was obvious, but apparently, it wasn’t.

“When I’m around you.” The way his eyes danced as he stared, transfixed, at you, had heat radiating from your chest, and despite the little clothing you were wearing, you suddenly started to sweat.

Meanwhile, Steve’s brain had short-circuited. All he could think was that he wanted to kiss you. God, he wanted to kiss you. He wanted to kiss you so fucking badly.

And so he did.

You yelped in shock, but didn’t protest or pull away, taking a little while to close your eyes and give into the movement of his lips but mostly because you had very little experience and knowing it was Steve’s tongue brushing against your lower lip had you trembling in between his arms.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered when you two had to part for breath, his warmth making you shiver as you watched with wide eyes the fact that he still hadn’t opened his.

You shifted in the seat of the comfortable couch, somehow not able to find an appropriate position to relax when it hit you - the reason for your discomfort wasn’t external, but in your very body.

You were dripping, the wetness that had been absent when it was Leo’s tongue inside your mouth only hours before now overflowing, ruining your underwear to the point where your juices now slathered the insides of your thighs.

“Oh, Steve, look!” You pulled the hand of his you were holding to bring it underneath the skirt of your dress, until he could run his digits over the soft skin of your flesh and see it for himself.

“See? Now it’s all wet and nice.” You gazed up at him expectantly, eager to see what he had to say, but at his lack of response, you continued, “It always gets like this when you’re near…”

You were interrupted from your mindless babbling when his fingers slipped underneath your panties, swiping between your lower lips with determination as they took in your wetness and used it to lubricate you thoroughly, rubbing something that had you feeling all warm inside.

“Oh, it - it actually feels kind of good now?” You acknowledged, body weakening under his ministrations until you were feeling all nice and light-headed.

You were fucking dripping and Steve could taste it. His cock twitched in his pants, despite the restraining material of his jeans. He was gonna cum just from this, fuck.

“Steve…” You whispered, eyes fluttering shut as your fingers curled around his wrist, but you didn’t try to stop him. It was more like you wanted to be sure he would keep his fingers right there, touching you, giving you pleasure.

He wanted to fuck you so fucking badly. You were so sensitive, every little movement of his digits eliciting a moan from you. The scent of your arousal had taken over the room by now and he wanted to inhale it directly, bury himself against your cunt and drown in it.

You were his. Fuck, you were all his.

Eyes heavy-lidded with desire, he took in the sounds you were making as he shoved his fingers deeper inside of you, making you squirm away from the unknown stimulation instinctively.

“Where do you think you’re going? Stay,” he ordered quietly, and you immediately froze. “Don’t you want more of this?” A sigh, his nose gently rubbing against your cheek. “I just want to please you, princess.”

He waited, his heart pounding as you blinked up at him, unable to think properly. But you didn’t need any part of your rational conscience to make this decision.

You knew what you wanted. You knew Steve. You’d always trust Steve, forever.

“I do.” The second the words were out, his lips were on yours. Steve hummed in delight at your sweet taste, shivering at your little satisfied sounds that he swallowed eagerly as he squeezed the soft flesh of your hips.

“Then stay,” he begged when you had to part for air, hands coming up to cradle your face so he could brush your cheeks with his thumbs. “Right here, with me.”

“You were always meant to belong to me.”

[imtryingbuck]

I Promise To Love You Forever.

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader

Summary: reader broke up with her ex, Steve’s there to support the woman he’s been in love with since he met her.

Word count: 1,133

Warnings: angst. fluff. abusive ex. Steve being the softest person ever. also this has been in my drafts for so long now.

Masterlist

Steve hated seeing her force a smile at what Tony was talking about, her real smile was beautiful and could light up the darkest of days he was sure of it. Y/n had been working at the Tower for three years now in medical bay alongside Dr Cho, whenever Steve found himself in med bay he would only want to be seen by her, one time he had to get help from Cho since Y/n wasn’t there that day he tried to walk off saying that it didn’t matter, that he was okay until Bucky had to remind him that he had a broken arm.

The team loves her just as much as he does, Nat and Wanda befriending her as soon as they were all introduced together, she was the only one that Sam would share his food with, Tony loved stealing her away from Helen to show her all the things he was working on, Bruce always smiled and wave at her when he would walk past, even Bucky had took a liking to her - she was actually the first and only person who he felt comfortable showing his scars to.

But Steve, Steve loved her and everyone around him knew it. Everyone but her. He told Bucky one morning whilst on their run that the love he had for Y/n was nothing like the one he used to have for Peggy. That made the brunette stop dead in his tracks. Steve always had to sit next to her at ‘family’ dinners, whenever he walked in to med bay his eyes would dart around just to find her and when he couldn’t his heart would ache. Nat had begged him to go and ask Y/n to join their weekly movie night, he wished he never did as it was the night he learned the truth.

“Hey Y/n/n”

“Oh hey Steve, are you okay?”

“Didn’t mean to scare you”

“You didn’t ah, so… are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah no I’m fine I was just wondering if you wanted to come to movie night with me, the team will be there too”

“Is it tonight? I really wish I could but I have date night with my boyfriend. Sorry Stevo”

Boyfriend. Of course she has a boyfriend. Stupid boyfriend taking his girl away. Stupid stupid god damn boyfriend.

From that day on Steve took a step back and watched her from afar, it was safer that way for him and for her. But he didn’t realise that by taking a step back it would hurt her, she didn’t know what she did wrong to make him distance himself from her.

Steve couldn’t understand why he smile was now always forced he sat there watching Tony talking enthusiastically about god knows what, he was to focused on watching Y/n’s lips fall in to a straight line as soon as Tony looked away before curving up when his attention was back on her. His brows nearly touched when he saw Sam touch her arm and she flinched. She had never flinched before. Never.

Watching from his place on the couch seeing her look down at her phone and sigh, standing up she walked out of the room going to the down the corridor. He did the only reasonable thing he could think of, and followed her.

“Yeah no I understand. No honestly it’s okay, I shouldn’t have asked. Stop saying sorry it’s okay I promise. In a hotel for now but it’s fine okay, I’ll talk to you later. Love you too bye.”

He frowned at her words, confused to why she would be staying at a hotel when she had a cute little apartment twenty minutes away from the tower, he should know because it was him and the team who helped her move in and set up the furniture.

His thoughts went from what was going on with her apartment the second he heard he sniffle, going into the medical room she was in.

“Y/n, hey sweetheart what’s wr-what’s that on your arm?”

“N-nothing” sliding her arm back into her jacket sleeve, looking shyly at him. “Are you okay?”

“That’s a bruise… Y/n what happened?”

“Nothing Steve it’s fi-“

“No it isn’t fine. Who’s hurt you?”

“I-it doesn’t matter”

“It does. Was it him? It was wasn’t it” he knew he had hit it on the nail on the head when she flinched and tried to make herself smaller. “Sweetheart, what happened? Please tell me”

“H-he hurt me, an-and he made me do things when I was tired. B-but it’s okay now because I’ve left him”

“What do you mean made you do things?”

“Sex…”

He was pretty sure he just heard his tooth crack. “Y/n, sweetheart-“

“It’s alright-“

“No it’s not. Why are you staying in a hotel?”

“Y-you heard that?” She winces as he nods “I left the apartment and I’ve been staying in the cheapest hotel I could find, I asked my friend but she’s just had a baby so… yeah”

“Sweets it’s your apartment… why haven’t you come here? You know there’s plenty of room”

“Because he wanted it so I just left and I’m just embarrassed”

Steve held her tightly in his arms as she cried, telling him everything that her ex had put her through in the two years she had been dating him. She clung on to him as if he was her lifeline and honestly if she wanted him to be he would happily be that for her.

Carrying her to the spare bedroom that was next to his after she cried herself to sleep in his arms, the team saw and all frowned but made no comment. Ever so gently he moved her hair away from her face bending down he pressed his lips to her forehead.

Six months later Steve was sat leaning up against the tree that was near the lake laughing at what Y/n was talking about. In those months the team found out what had happened and each one were angry with themselves for letting her down, they - minus Steve - went to the apartment and removed all of her things and may or may not have punched her ex on their way out.

Steve watched as her smile lit up her entire face and god how he love it.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you alright?”

“I love you”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sor-“

“I love you too”

He chuckled as she screamed when he tackled her “ca-can I kiss you?” She doesn’t respond verbally but by pressing her lips to his, they both sighed in content finally feeling their lips touch. How they both wanted this moment to happen and last for a life time.

“I promise Y/n that I’ll love you forever. I swear”

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77

[mim16s]

I rewatched Avengers: Endgame, and whenever I saw stories where Steve went back to Peggy, the reader never seemed truly upset or betrayed. And as the grudge-holder I am, I definitely wouldn’t forgive him, nor would I wish him happiness. So I decided to write how I would possibly react if it had happened to me.

Warning: Angst

—You’re really telling me you’re going to throw away everything we built? Damn it, Steve, it’s been four years! Four years together we’re engaged and you’re trading all of it for a ghost from the past?— Your voice came out broken, loaded with disbelief and pain.

—Y/N… you have to understand, I’m not from here.

—Not from here? —you repeated, laughing without humor, your heart in pieces. — And you’re just now telling me this? After four years of looking me in the eyes and telling me you loved me?

His stomach turned. He had loved you. Still did. But there was a weight in the past he’d never fully let go of.

—And I do love you! — he said, but to you it sounded like an empty promise.

—No, you don’t! — you shouted, your throat burning as tears threatened to fall. — cause if you did, if you truly did, you wouldn’t even consider going back to her! She shouldn’t even cross your mind if what you felt for me was real!

Steve clenched his fists, jaw tight. He was losing you, he knew it. And yet, something inside him still clung to the past, to the image of Peggy, to the “what ifs,” to the time he never got to live.

But then why did it hurt so damn much to see you cry? Why did it feel like he was making the biggest mistake of his life?

—You’re not making this easy…

—I’m not making this easy? — You let out a disbelieving, almost bitter laugh. — You come here, after everything we’ve been through, and drop this on me and i'm the one not making it easy? Steve, I stood by your side for years. I loved you, supported you, respected you, was there in every damn moment. And you seriously want to tell me I’m the problem?

—I’m sorry. I swear I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t even know going back was an option… but now that it is… I can’t let it go.

—No. I don’t forgive you. And I never will. You made me believe I’d found the love of my life. Made me bet everything on us… only to show me now that you never really let her go.

You saw Steve’s face twist with pain, but your eyes didn’t waver. You were too hurt. Too angry.

—It wasn’t a waste. I loved every year I had with you.

—Maybe not for you. But for me, it was. Because if you had just been honest from the beginning… if you had told me someone else still had your heart, I would’ve protected mine. I would’ve chosen a different path.

You turned your back, feeling the tears were seconds away from falling. And just as you took the first step, his voice stopped you one last time.

—I hope one day you’ll forgive me… and that you’ll be truly happy.

You stopped—but didn’t turn around.

—I can’t say the same. I won’t wish happiness on the one who broke me like this. On someone who shattered everything I felt with a single choice.

And then you walked away.

The tears fell silently, heavy and raw, while behind you, Steve stood frozen, watching you go. And only then, with the crushing weight of silence around him, did he wonder

Was he really making the right choice?

Did he still love Peggy that much… more than he loved you?

Or had he just lost the only person who ever made his heart beat again?

[natti-ice]

[k1tk4ttt]

How I feel reading smut while being scared of intimacy in real life

[jiimeniita]

[that1geek06]

"English isn't my-"

Hush now my friend, and let me read the absolute beauty of a fic that you have bestowed this world and humiliated the first English speakers with

[l0velysmut]

family: “why are you just sitting in ur room smiling at ur phone?”

me who’s been reading smut about fictional characters for the past 6 hours:

[science-hoes]

Anyways

[missusmercury]

nobody has been there for me like the ‘x reader’ tag has been there for me

[dearwalker]

this bucky with this steve

[warriorblu]

I think about this fic often. Steve is a selfish man (highkey love his need for reader). I always think about the aftermath, reader tries to do the right thing at one moment. What if the following day she runs from him and what they did? I just picture a feral Steve chasing her and making she can’t run away with a baby 🤭

The Start of Something New - Steve Rogers smut

The one where Steve moved onto another woman’s arms after the blip, but now that you’re back…

Warnings: smut, infidelity, (reader isn’t the one being cheated), angst, nat isn’t a good bro in this one, but reader and steve aren’t good to her either

Word count: 3k

A/N: I wanted to use a character we all already know and love to be the best friend in this fic so I could fully explore the blurred lines of the situation. Had I created an OC, I believe everyone would instantly hate her but seeing as I do believe her position was a difficult one to be in, I wanted to give the actual readers a chance to feel at least a little bit of sympathy for her, and so I chose Nat because we all love her. That is all to say I do not mean this as an attack to her character because she truly is a badass and I love her, I just figured it’d be the better option. If you’re a hardcore Nat fan, maybe use the web browser extension to change her name to something else or try to view her as someone else with the same name. One more thing, for the purposes of this fic: this is set in an AU where Natasha apparently can still come pregnant.

Steve couldn’t believe his eyes when he opened the door of his apartment to see you. He never thought he would come to be in front of you again - at least not in this life. He thought you’d died in that field, the same day so many lost their loved ones.

He hadn’t cared about anyone that he lost as much as he cared about you. Which is what made that first year without you so difficult. He couldn’t open his eyes without thinking of you and you were the last thought he had when he closed them again.

What would he have done without Natasha to help him? He didn’t know, but he didn’t have to because she’d been there, every step of the way. He figured she felt like it was her responsibility - she’d been your best friend, after all. The Bucky to your Steve.

Keep reading

[imtryingbuck]

To Be Loved

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n realises her self worth. 

Word count: 2,831

Warnings: angst. angst. cheating (I’m sorry). self hatred. Sharon. forms of self harming. Steve and Sharon are scumbags. 

A/N: i was listening to Adele To Be Loved and this idea came to me

Masterlist

Everything was in their correct places, she made sure of it. Seven times. It had to be perfect. Today marked three years of marriage for her and Steve, instead of going out they both agreed to celebrate their anniversary at home with a home cooked meal, fine wine and slow music and to top it off with an intimate moment shared together in their bed.

The plan was perfect.

The house was perfect.

The dress she was wearing was perfect.

The meal smelted delicious as it cooked away in the oven.

The only thing now was for her to wait for her love to come home.

She sat at the dining chair watching as the clock on the over tick on by getting further away from the agreed upon time that he was supposed to arrive. Every time she rang him the call dropped straightaway, her messaged just staying on delivered. Fidgeting ever so often trying to smooth out the crinkles of her dark green dress that he told her to wear for their special occasion.

Two hours, still not home.

Three hours, still not home.

Fou- she finally gave up.

Emptying the plates full of now cold food, she turned off the radio, took her heels off and collapsed on the couch.

It had been a long time since she had cried, and that night she cried until her heart started to squeeze painfully.

She cried until sleep over took her weaken body.

She forgave him the next day when he got in at six o’clock that morning. He showed up with flowers and told her that he was sorry, something about a mission brief that ran way too long.

Though she didn’t necessarily believe him or his lie but she was just happy he was home so she never questioned him.

She plastered a fake smile and made out that she watched a sad movie and that was the reason for her make up - the same she took time in perfecting - was ruined, not the real reason for the dried mascara tear tracks running down her cheeks.

A week later she walked into the tower finding it strange that no one made their way to greet her like they always did before. She walked into Steve’s room to surprise him, when she got a surprise of her own.

Her husband of three years, the man that she had been with for six years, the man that she had been in love with for eight years was thrusting away like his life depended on it into a woman that she had been insecure about since she came back to work for SHIELD, the same woman that Steve had reassured her that she had no reason to worry or to be threatened by.

Sharon.

She had no idea how long she stood there for watching the scene in front of her until she watched them kiss, it was then and only then she stumbled backwards knocking into the door which caused a noise.

The headboard stopped violently banging against the wall, the mattress stopped squeaking and Steve’s face drained of all colour as he saw his wife catching him in the act of his betrayal.

“B-baby” he had the audacity to call her whilst still inside of another woman.

Her heart pounded rapidly in her chest as she forced her legs to take a step in front of the other, shaking as she pressed the elevator button her eyes stung as the tears threatened to break over the barrier.

The moment the silver shiny doors open she stepped in repeatedly hitting the close button just as Steve managed to make it around the corner.

This man who she had loved for eight years, the same man that she had just caught cheating had the audacity to look sad at the heart-breaking expression on her face.

A month had gone by since that painful day, and after weeks of him begging and grovelling and profusely promising that he would never do it again, that he would be better. Promising that he would go to therapy to fix his mistakes.

She asked how many times he had cheated on her and he hesitated before telling her that it had been going on for a month before hastily telling her that it meant nothing, just sex - as if that made it any better.

Now please don’t judge her, for eight years she had loved him more than she had ever thought you could love someone and for six years he was all she knew. She loved him with all that she had even if he did the one thing that she never thought he would do to her. She took him back.

When the team found out what he had done they rallied around to the apartment she shared with Americas golden boy, all telling her that they knew nothing, Tony had told her that he told Fury that he was kicking Sharon out of the tower and how Fury had made her move to a different SHIELD location. The team cleaned up the mess she had made the night she got back to their apartment after catching her husband’s betrayal. 

The team understood why she agreed to take him back though none of them liked it. They thought-no knew she deserved better than their friend, their captain. But they promised that they would always be there if she ever needed them, no matter what.

Steve understood that it was going to take her some time for them to go back to being ‘normal’ even though she didn’t know if they could ever get back what they once had.

She tried, she really did try and put it behind her but every night when she closed her eyes she was plagued by the memories of him with a woman that wasn’t her. Every time she woke up she would look to the right of her to find him facing her sleeping peacefully.

And every night she sneaked into the bathroom to put two fingers down her throat to be sick.

She was trying to be better she really was, she couldn’t help but flinch every time he went to kiss her or when he told her that he loved her.

She tried.

God she tried.

The first time they had sex was four months after his betrayal came to light. She hated how much she loved that feeling of him being on her, that feeling of him being close to her. She hated it because the loud banging of the headboard and the squeaks of the mattress took her back to that moment.

After what was normally an act that she once loved and treasured, that had now become a bittersweet moment between the married couple she went to the bathroom and did her routine that she did now after every meal she was forced to eat.

Though she was struggling, she wasn’t the only one.

Steve had gotten mad more than once about how she would always pull away from him or how she wouldn’t look him in the eyes anymore or how their lovemaking was now him doing all the work. He couldn’t understand why she hadn’t gotten over it like she said she did - she never said that, she just forgave him.

He had also complained not only to her but to his friends about her weight loss, how he would see her flicking the elastic band against her wrist that she would now wear.

What Steve hated most was when a storm made its way through New York she wouldn’t seek shelter in the warm comfort of his arms, no she would now lock herself in the bathroom and sit in the corner with her knees pulled up to her chest, flinching every time the loud cracking sound made it’s way through the apartment.

He had made the biggest mistake of his life and now it was costing him.

A year had gone by, six months of Steve getting solo counselling and another six months of them both going to marriage counselling later they had gone back to being how they once were, don’t get it wrong she still sometimes got nightmares about his betrayal but each time she would talk about it to him the next morning and they would talk it over, just like their therapist suggested.

Everything was going perfectly once again they celebrated their fourth anniversary together where Steve took her to a cabin that had a private lake, they spent the nights looking up at the stars that twinkled up in the dark sky and she would giggle when he picked her up and carried her to bed before making love to her over and over again.

Sometimes she would be okay with what happened in the past but then she would find herself thinking if Steve had what they had with Sharon.

It all came crumbling down six months after their fourth year anniversary when Steve announced that he would be travelling with the rest of the Avengers to help out the SHIELD headquarters in London.

Her heart stuttered hearing that.

That was exactly where Sharon had been located to.

He promised that he wouldn’t go anywhere near her, said that he would never make that mistake again. Swore that he was so in love with her that he wasn’t going to stray away from their marriage again.

She believed him.

She trusted him.

Five minutes after he left their apartment she rang to the bathroom to do something she hadn’t done in months. She put her fingers down her throat.

Every day that he had been away he rang her to talk about everything and anything, she had asked him if he had seen Sharon, he said yes but every time she tried to talk to him he walked away.

She believed him.

She trusted him.

When he came home with a massive bouquet of her favourite flowers, neither one of them left the apartment for three days straight. Both had grown sore from their activities.

One night, three weeks after he arrived back from London she received a text message from an unknown number, two photos were attached.

Her heart shattered.

A photo of a sonogram with Sharon Carters name at the top and a screenshot of Sharon’s messages she shared with Steve. Steve talking about how he couldn’t wait to be a dad, her saying that their time in London was special and him agreeing.

She looked to the right of her and saw him sleeping peacefully.

And once again she crept out of bed and began her routine she unfortunately picked up again.

He told her he was going on a solo mission and that he would be back in two weeks. She nodded and kept her head down. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t look at him or how she moved her head to the side so he only kissed her cheek.

She wasn’t foolish. She had gone through his phone and saw the messages between him and Sharon, he wasn’t going on a solo mission he was going back to London to spend some time with her and the growing baby in her stomach.

Her wrist had now a permanent circular bruise from snapping the elastic band.

She had lost count of the amount of tear she had shed from his betrayal and now that there was going to be a child added to the mix she cried more than she had ever done before.

Finally gaining the strength and courage she went to a lawyer and filed for divorce, it broke her heart to do so but it needed to be done. She could no longer go on like this. She could no longer be made a fool out of.

She needed to finally love herself, once again.

When he came home after being in London with her and their unborn child he frowned at seeing their apartment next to empty, all of her things missing, he saw her sitting on the couch looking just a beautiful as she always had.

“Baby? What’s wrong?”

“I know about London and how you’re having a baby with her. Please sign the divorce papers”

“B-baby no… no she means noth-“

“You told her that you love her. You’re having a child with her. Please just stop and sign the papers”

He got down on his knees in front of her begging and crying, pleading with her to change her mind, told her that he would never have anything to do with Sharon or the baby ever, that they could be happy again.

She responded with telling him to sign the papers.

He cried and cried. Telling her how much of a mistake he had made, telling her over and over again that Sharon meant nothing to him. She flinched and grew angry when he said the baby meant nothing to him. That’s when she snapped.

“How dare you! That baby is innocent, as much as I can’t stand it’s parents don’t you dare say that! Poor child was only conceived because you couldn’t keep it in your pants, because you and its mother are terrible people. Yo-you promised me last time and I forgave you, and yet here we are now and you’re having a child with a woman that isn’t me. Sign the papers I won’t ask again.”

“P-p-please we can m-make this work”

“You honestly expect me to stay with you whilst you have a child with your mistress? No Steven that’s not happening. I choose to pick me first now, I deserve better, I deserve to be happy. You and your mistress deserve each other, you and your mistress deserves to be so miserable with each other. Just sign the fucking papers!”

He flinched at her swearing, his heart cracking as she pushed the divorce papers into his chest, he admits that he only slept with her once in London and the next morning the regret washed over him like a tidal wave threatening to swallow him whole. He didn’t love Sharon, god knows he didn’t. He loves the woman standing in front of him. Heck he wasn’t even sure if the child was his as Sharon has a boyfriend.

He finally took the pen from her hand and shakily opened up the papers, his heart sinking into the pits of hell seeing that she had already signed it. Gazing up to face her once more he realised that she was dead serious about this, he couldn’t let her down again so he signed his name next to hers.

“Thank you. Goodbye Steven have a terrible life”

They were the last words he would ever hear come out of her mouth as she walked straight past him and out of his life.

Months later she was behind the counter of the diner she worked at laughing at what one of the customers was saying about something his two year old son had gotten up to, wiping down the counter as another customer chimed in talking about how it only gets worse from here on out with children when the TV that was hanging in the top right corner said something that had a woman laughing.

It was being announced that the baby that Sharon had publicly announced as Steve’s was indeed not his. The baby had been born not even a month earlier and was already infamous by being the possible child from Captain America’s affair.

“I still can’t believe he cheated on his wife with that thing” Joey a loyal customer scoffed with a shake of his head.

“What’s your take on this sugar?” Lolly - Joey’s wife - asked as she sipped from her coffee.

“It’s a shame really” you answered keeping your eyes on the small television screen watching as Steve walked out of the courthouse where the camera man zoomed in on Steve’s wedding ring finger, seeing the ring that she put on his finger nearly five years ago still sitting there.

As for her, she finally found was it was like to love herself again. She could look herself in the mirror now and not point out her ‘flaws’, she no longer wore an elastic band around her wrist, nor did she force herself to be sick.

She was still sick sometimes but not because she wanted to be.

She was finally happy, her skin was glowing as Kiki - her boss - had kept telling her. Her happiness and self-love continued to grow along with her stomach.

Placing one hand on the right side of her large protruding stomach she smiled up at the screen seeing Steve in his car with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Let it be known that she had survived, and that she had gained the love for herself that she thought she had lost.

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77

[mim16s]

Materialist

One shot

Se-mi Squid game

Arcade

Bruce Wayne

Smut

Dangerous Woman - Singer!reader

Bucky Barnes

Motorcycle

Steve Rogers

Angst

Simon Ghost Riley

Trauma

Series

Cho Hyun-Ju- Squid Game

Survival in game

[babymangosworld]

Me when y/n is acting like a little fucking child for male validation

[k1tk4ttt]

when you just finished one of the most beautiful fics ever written and you see that the author has a masterlist full of other fics