#ignore an actor’s real life because i just want fun but

[fanficsbysteve]

Chasing Shadows

Note: You can thank @weewoo911 for this idea not leaving my brain so I had to write it before I could continue on my other WIPs. Thank you for this and I hope you enjoy. I’m ignoring the Abby thing because that was BS, and I don’t like it. This will probably be multiple chapters. All from Tommy’s POV cause its more fun to write. Not sure how many chapters though. I'll keep you posted as I write them.

AO3 Link

***

Tommy sat at the second floor table, his phone out, mindlessly scrolling through the various apps he had downloaded. Twitter, Tumblr, those kind of apps. The ones where you created a username and maintained some level of anonymity. He loved being able to spend time just looking at things he enjoyed without people knowing what he was doing or who he was. Lately all he had been doing though is reblogging images of actor Evan Buckley. Evan Buckley in “My Heart Yearns.” Evan Buckley in “Christmas in the Poconos.” Evan Buckley in “The Things That Ate You.” Evan Buckley in “What Happens Happened.” This man was currently the king of the B-Movies and Tommy loved every single one of them, owning many of them on DVD or Blu-ray so he could watch them over and over again.

Tommy was a gay man and was coming to terms with his homosexuality. He hadn’t told anyone in his life yet. That wasn’t any of their business. But he was slowly hating himself less as the days progressed. Maybe he would tell someone when he didn’t hate himself as much as he did, maybe Hen would be the best option. She was an out and proud lesbian with a loving wife, she wouldn’t judge him like he judged himself. He felt dirty looking at the pictures he did online. He felt horrible just thinking about the things that he wanted all those men to do to him. Particularly Evan Buckley. That man could do things that weren’t in any holy book to him, and Tommy would probably thank him for it. And it still made him feel dirty inside. Not nearly as much as others. Just a little. Nothing Evan Buckley did could make him feel completely like he was a horrible person going to hell.

So, Tommy was scrolling while they sat around the 118. It was quiet *knock on wood* and Tommy was enjoying the quiet time. They had finished all their various “chores” and Bobby was already cooking some dinner. Everyone knew to leave Bobby alone while he was in the kitchen, “Seen any good movies lately?” Chimney’s voice broke the silent revery that Tommy’s mind had taken. His real name was Howie Han, however everyone called him Chimney. Nobody really knows why, and Chim likes to keep it mysterious. Tommy thinks its because Chimney’s are tall and built well. However, their Chimney is anything but that.

Tommy looked up from his phone, “Nothing really. Just the usual B-movies that nobody really watches.”

“Why do you do that to yourself?” Hen asked looking up over the newspaper she had been reading, “They are always so painfully bad.”

“I know,” Tommy smiled, “But they make me laugh. You never watched Mystery Science Theatre 3000? They basically made a career out of watching the worst movies that cinema has to offer. And they are gloriously bad. Making up commentary for them is half the fun.”

“I’ll just have to take your word for it,” Chim replied, “I took Tatiana to see that new Marcel movie. Can’t remember what I was called but it was ok.”

“I’ll stick to my sappy RomComs and B-movies,” Tommy replied, “They never disappoint me to the point of forgetting a title.”

Tommy went back to his phone. He was on Tumblr right now, curating his queue, enjoying his timeline. It had taken him some time, but he had finally gotten it to the point where he enjoyed just spending hours scrolling, finding new posts for his own blog and queue. He admitted that he was a bit of an Evan Buckley stan account at this point. His posts were mostly either pics of Evan Buckley, gifs of Evan Buckley, videos of Evan Buckley, or stories written about Evan Buckley. He was just so handsome, and it made Tommy’s stomach turn itself over and over. From the tattoos that covered his body in special places, so that adorable little birthmark above his eye. Tommy wanted to plant a kiss on that mark so badly.

Tommy went to the kitchen to get another refill on coffee. He hadn’t slept much the night before but that was his own fault. He had gotten distracted by watching Evan Buckley movies and he just wanted to finish at least one. One lead to another and suddenly it was an hour before he had to get up and get ready for work. Tommy visibly yawned as he poured another cup, “Late night?” Bobby asked while he cooked.

“Just got distracted,” Tommy replied, “Didn’t realize what time it was and just didn’t end up sleeping much. Coffee is my best friend today.”

“I’ve had those nights,” Bobby smiled, “Usually they involved a beautiful woman.”

Tommy choked a bit on his coffee at the face that Bobby made at him, “um…uh…yeah…beautiful woman,” was all that Tommy managed to get out of his mouth before he hurried away, his face beet red.

He sat down in his chair and pulled his phone back out. He went back to his absent scrolling, smiling inside at all the new pictures of Evan Buckley that were appearing online recently. He had gotten a starring role in a TV show that hadn’t been announced yet, but Tommy was a premium member of the Evan Buckley fan club, so he got all the insider information. He admitted that it was childish to have that membership, but nobody knew who he was, and he was the only one who knew he had it, so why not. It got him all kinds of insider information, and he was a Millennial, so he was allowed to do this. Evan was supposed to be filming the pilot for this show he was cast in sometime in the next few months. Tommy would definitely be watching that show.

“Dinner’s ready,” Bobby announced as he put plates of food on the table. They always served family style, taking what you wanted from the plates and passing them along. It was a tradition that Bobby had started. It was never like this during the Gerrard Era or any of the other dozen chiefs they had since. Just Bobby wanted to make the changes that made working at the 118 better.

“So, I have an announcement to make,” Bobby said as everyone had plated up their meal and was starting to eat, “We will be having someone come and shadow us a little bit for the next few months. They will be filming a new show called HotShots soon. It’s a show about firefighters, and they want some of their actors to get some firsthand experience. To add to the realism. The higher ups have approved of this as they feel this would be really good PR for the LAFD. Several different stations have had different actors who have been cast in the show come shadow us for a bit.”

“Any idea who we got?” Chimney piped up, “Hopefully it’s Samantha Callens, I heard she was cast in something and maybe it was this. She can really learn what its like to be a female firefighter from our Hen here.”

“Shut it Chim,” Hen piped up.

“No, we have someone different,” Bobby said. He pulled out his phone to check his emails, “Give me a second here to find it. Ah yes, we have someone named Evan Buckley coming.”

Tommy did a spit take with the coffee he had just been drinking, sending it flying across the table. Nobody was sitting across from them so that was a blessing, “You know that guy?” Chim asked having dodged to the side to avoid the coffee, Chim was in the chair next to the spot opposite Tommy.

“No…not really…he’s just been in a couple movies I’ve watched,” Tommy stuttered, trying to wipe up the coffee he spat all over up.

“Well, he starts tomorrow,” Bobby said, “And I expect everyone to be on their best behaviour.”

Tommy sat down in his chair, his heart racing and threatening to burst out of his chest. Evan Buckley was going to be here, in the 118, with Tommy. Tommy silently took his phone out and looked at the top of his Tumblr page, staring at his username: kinardbuckleyxoxo was all it said. Tommy knew that it was going to be a long few months. Very pleasant. But also, very long.

***

Note: Chapter 1 complete. Chapter 2 the real fun begins. I usually try and make sure that I have at least a buffer of a few chapters going before I post but I wanted to get this out into the universe so that people can let me know if they enjoy it. So, leave me some comments and likes and give me any feedback you want. Also if anyone has a fun title idea, please let me know cause I'm at a loss. (I may have written this in an hour and a half after I woke up and saw the idea from @weewoo911)

[hotjaneaustenmenpoll]

Quarter Final One

Propaganda...

Edward Ferrars (1995) :

Edward gets a bad rap because he's quiet and the whole lucy steele situation but he doesn't get enough credit for how honourable he is! It's easy to have honour when it costs you nothing he knows he'll be miserable with lucy but he knows it's the right thing and to do so he sticks to his guns and does it anyway despite the opposition from his family and to me that is hot! Also yes he makes mistakes but his family are vile - he grew up with Fanny and Robert and is still a good man! Also he looks like hugh grant and plays fun games with Margaret and he understands Elinor in a way no one else does - Hot!Hot!Hot!

Mr Darcy (1995) :

Colin Firth (1995) is book Darcy brought to life. He uses tiny gestures and looks to communicate with us and Elizabeth… his struggle is so subtle but so palpable. A beautiful asshole with a creamy nougat center. Just perfect.

GIF by sunsetboulevards

Those heart-eyes right up above☝️? Hot!

Passive-agressively drinking tea? Hot!

GIF by jaeausten

The way he rushes over to see Elizabeth at Pemberley on those delicious long legs of his with that slutty wet curl hanging over his forehead? Hot!

GIF by didanagy

Fencing? Hot!

GIF by greengableslover

The way he is so concerned about Elizabeth crying and takes her hand even though he shouldn't? Hot!

GIF by greengableslover

This dimple-y smile of pure joy because he knows he's married to Elizabeth freaking Bennet? Hot!

GIF by didana

Colin Firth Darcy is simultaneously immaculately put together and entirely falling apart internally. The wet shirt scene is so iconic not (only) because ‘oooh almost-shirtless sexy man’, but because it’s a metaphor for how he’s absolutely falling apart!!! This is a private moment, when he doesn’t think anyone can see him. And then he bumps. into. Lizzie. At his house!! And the entire sequence that follows with him rushing out still doing his jacket up to catch her before he leaves. They are both on the back foot and it’s THAT moment of confusion that opens a more honest dialogue between them.

Without Firth in a lake you wouldn’t get Macfadyen in a downpour!

There's a reason why Colin Firth is forever known as Mr. Darcy above all other roles he's had and will have! Even ignoring the wet white shirt, which has become A Thing now, he is so hot with his curly hair and his little half smiles and his intense looks of longing and his legs that go on for milessss.

This cannot be real. My fellow Jane Austen people. Without Colin Firth’s Darcy we wouldn’t have 90% of modern JA content. He opened a door and there was no turning back for modern culture. There would be no MacFadyen standing half undressed in a field at dawn without Firth jumping into a lake first. There would be no hand flex if there hadn’t been Firth doing his best impression of a man undressing Elizabeth Bennet with his eyes and hating himself for liking it. There would be no Bridgerton without Bridget Jones. Let’s face it people. We wouldn’t be here having these arguments if Colin Firth had not been Mr Darcy.

Colin Firth understood Mr. Darcy in a way no other actor ever has. He is awkward as fuck in a way that comes across as snooty and judgmental on a first watch-through, then can be read as awkward and longing on a second time. His performance had such depth while looking extremely shallow at first glance. This man WAS Mr. Darcy. (I love 2005, as well, and I love Matthew McFayden, but he was awkward for awkward sake.) Colin Firth made Darcy's awkward look snooty and aloof.

THE socially awkward Darcy is the 1995 Darcy - look at him coming and sitting in awkward silence with Elizabeth pointedly asking her if she wants to live a long way from her family (to obvious relief) and then abruptly leaving - vote for him please 😭😭😭😭

Colin Firth served so much as Darcy that when they did Bridget Jone's diary, they brought him back.... AS DARCY. The smoulder. The angst. The man is the quintessential Darcy.

“Firthing” is an actual term that is used now to describe someone yearning intensely. It is named after Colin Firth’s Mr Darcy performance.

Colin Firth all the way. He's known in our household as Owl Eyes because in every frame he's mooning over Elizabeth Bennet. Unsurpassable, unmatched, golden television (and some of the worst dancing you've ever seen).

Colin has beautiful, touchable curls.

Link

My high school English teacher was very into using movies to teach alongside literature, which was a great teaching tool. When we read Pride and Prejudice, he used both 2005 and 1995 for various scenes. What stands out to me all these years later was when it got to the part when Lizzy went to help Georgiana after Caroline dropped Mr. Wickham's name and Darcy gives Lizzy this look:

My teacher stopped the film and pointed at Darcy's face and said, "See that? That is THE look. If someone ever looks at you like that, you know they're in love." And what is hotter than that?

Also this teacher had two cats named Lizzy and Darcy. Not relevant to the poll but I wanted you all to know about them.

The best thing about the Colin Firth wet shirt scene is actually the scene that follows where him and Lizzie are both just dyinggg of embarrassment but Darcy pulls himself together refuses to lose his advantage and runs to get dressed and chase her down before she leaves - just the mix of cringe and hopefulness at seeing her again is so well done and so attractive!!! (this is just the bit where he's running after her but I love it all!)

[sopphic27]

Fun Fact: A lot of the Stolas antis compare him to Valentino off all people

H. How. What show are these people watching.

Okay so, this has been sitting in my drafts for a while, but let's get down to it. This post got wildly out of hand.

TL;DR: Valentino and Stolas have some superficial similarities, but Valentino is an abusive overlord who gained his power through exploitation and uses it to be abusive, meanwhile Stolas was incidentally born into his power and at worst is ignorant but well-meaning. Their behavior onscreen and interactions with their subordinates and their partners is night and day.

Valentino: a human sinner who is an overlord, so he owns countless souls of other sinners. He "employs" others demons as erotic dancers, adult film actors, and sex workers. I say "employs" in quotes, because I get the feeling that a lot of these people don't necessarily get a choice. He's blatantly manipulative, physically and sexually abusive, and generally just an asshole. For the sake of this comparison, I'm going to focus on his relationship with Angel Dust.

Stolas: a hellborn Goetia prince, he is said to have legions to command and share his knowledge with, and he canonically and on screen has a staff of servants, security, etc made up of (that we've seen) imps and hellhounds. His staff seems to have standard jobs such as serving meals, delivering messages, cleaning up, and whatnot. We don't know much more about them, however. He's socially anxious and awkward, very intelligent, and he behaves publicly in a very regal and reserved manner expected of a prince. In private, however, he seems more friendly and polite to the people he interacts with, with the exception of people he dislikes (e.g. Stella, Striker, Andrealphus). I'll focus on his relationship with Blitz pre-Apology Tour for this comparison, but I'm also going to address his interactions with his staff.

Before anything else, I'm going to call Angel and Blitz their "partners" even though that's not technically accurate. I'm not actually suggesting that Val and Angel are in a relationship or are each other's partners, same for Stolas and Blitz, but I don't have a better word for "the other person in the relationship".

So what are their similarities?

Both Valentino and Stolas are of higher status than their partner.

They are both demons that have magical abilities while their partners do not. (Comparatively. Angel Dust may have some abilities, but we haven't really seen him display them beyond some glowing eyes)

They're both much more powerful than their partners, physically, magically, and socially.

They have some sort of contract with their partner (Pre-Full Moon)

They both have a lot of employees and staff working for them.

They have red eyes.

They're, um. Skinny? I'm running out of similarities.

So I would say that they do have a number of superficial similarities, but I want to dive in to these similarities a little deeper.

Stolas was born into his status as a prince, so was Blitz as an imp. Say what you want about the social hierarchy in Hell, but they do live in a society, and imps are basically the bottom of the pyramid in Hell. The point is, Stolas didn't choose to become a prince, he just is. Valentino, however, had to climb to achieve his status. He died and manifested in Hell same as any other sinner, but he managed to climb the ladder, made deals to own other sinners' souls, amassed power, and after however long, became an overlord. To each their own, but in my opinion, this means that he chose to become an overlord by exploiting other sinners, just like any real life business mogul. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a monarchist, but being born into power and taking it by choice are still very different.

Similarly, their magic is very different. We haven't seen much magic from Val, but we know that he has a certain amount of power over Angel, he produces that pink liquid with unclear properties, and we know from other overlords that he probably has more abilities that we haven't seen. We have seen a few displays of Stolas's power, though. He can use telekinesis, create portals, possess people, turn people into stone with a look, etc, and he can transform into a giant owl monster. So yeah, he's crazy powerful. But again, Stolas was born into his power, he's a Goetia prince, he inherited and honed his magical abilities through study and practice. Overlords seem to gain a lot of their power by owning souls, though this isn't actually totally clear. Regardless, Valentino has power over Angel as a direct result of his contract owning his soul.

So both of them have definite power differences with their partners. The key difference, however, is how they use this power imbalance in their relationships. Valentino literally owns Angel's soul, he uses his power over Angel to control him, manipulate him, force him to do things, abuse him, etc. He is blatantly physically abusive to Angel, we see him hit Angel, drag him around, push him down, grab him by the neck, and yank on his chains. He's also very psychologically abusive, he threatens him and his friends, insults and demeans him, and holds his contract in front of him to remind him of their deal and make Angel feel helpless. He's just awful.

Stolas is very very different in how he treats Blitz and their relationship. I mean there's the obvious, he is never physically abusive toward Blitz. And before any of the Stella sympathizers come at me, he's never been physically abusive toward her either, he just BLOCKED her hand as she attempted to strike him. If you ask me, it seems like she has probably done that before! He never intentionally demeaned Blitz, he never tried to hold their agreement over his head, he doesn't even seem to have forced Blitz to do anything sexually against his will. Plus he's a fucking bottom. He is aware of their difference in power, but he never intentionally abuses it. The only times he's ever insulted Blitz were either teasingly (e.g. "Oh and your memory is so perfect? What's [Moxxie's] phone number? Exactly.") or after he had already ended their arrangement and was upset with him (e.g. during their argument in Apology Tour). Even then, it really comes off as him pointing out Blitz's flaws and his hypocrisies after Blitz broke his heart. If you were to compare the beginning of Apology Tour to any scene between Val and Angel, the difference is crystal fucking clear.

And let's talk about their contracts. Valentino, as previously stated, literally OWNS Angel's SOUL. It's written in ink and legally and magically binding. Literally. Whatever deal Angel made with Valentino is basically irrelevant since at the point in the show that we see, the only thing he really gets from Valentino is a job. He used to get housing, it seems, but he gave that up to live at the hotel. I don't think he gets any kind of protection, but that's just speculation on my part. For Angel, it seems like there is no way out of his deal with Valentino, only Val can release him, and he doesn't want to because Angel makes him money. Stolas and Blitz have basically a verbal agreement, made over the phone. "Favors for favors." Stolas lets Blitz use his grimoire, the spell book given to him to perform his royal duties, something that he's definitely not supposed to be lending out to anyone, let alone an imp. Blitz needs the grimoire to be able to get to Earth, which is the most important aspect of his business in killing living people. Stolas also needs the grimoire for his job, but he lends it to Blitz for all but one day of the month. In return, he asks Blitz to spend the night with him so they can have sex. Blitz agrees to this arrangement, very willingly, and in my opinion, he gets the better end of the deal, especially considering the fact that he seems to like fucking Stolas. Now, by definition, this arrangement lowkey makes Blitz a prostitute. He is exchanging sex for the ability to run his business. But this arrangement is not written down anywhere, it's just an agreement between Blitz and Stolas while they're both happy with their end of the deal. Eventually, however, Stolas doesn't feel happy with it anymore because he's developed genuine feelings for Blitz and is uncomfortable that he feels like he's exploiting Blitz. So he calls off the arrangement in the hopes that they can start a new relationship on equal footing. He gives Blitz the Asmodean Crystal, arguably a better tool for Blitz's business than the grimoire was because it's easier to use, and they no longer have to exchange sex for the grimoire. He gifts the crystal to Blitz, no strings attached, and tells him that he cares for him and wants him to stay. Even when the conversation goes south, Stolas doesn't take back the crystal or even indicate that it's something that he would do. It's Blitz who's then uncomfortable because he feels like he needs to be doing something to "earn" the crystal. But that's his baggage, and not the point right now. The point is that in Val and Angel's contract, Val has the more favorable end of the deal, and he's the only one who can end the contract between them, and he probably won't. In Stolas and Blitz's arrangement, Blitz had the better end of the deal, and either of them could have backed out of the deal, but ultimately Stolas chose to end it, and he made sure that Blitz didn't suffer any consequences to his business as a result of their deal ending.

Now moving away from the relationships with Angel and Blitz, both Val and Stolas have employees, lower status demons working for them. Val's employees are mostly sinners whose souls he (or one of the other Vee's) owns, and then there's Kitty, the off-brand Robo-Fizz. Based on how he treats Angel and the other actors and people around him, I think it's fair to say that he's not a very kind and considerate boss. He's physically and verbally abusive, he's controlling and demanding, he's short-tempered and violent, and he clearly has no respect for scheduled work hours since he calls Angel in whenever he fucking wants. We don't see Stolas interacting with his staff as much, but what we do see is pretty standard for how a royal might treat a servant, with a neutral and stoic attitude. He's not necessarily friendly to his staff from what we see, but at least he's not actively abusive. I mean compare how Stella treats the imp butler and how Stolas does.

She grabs him by the arm and throws him full force at the wall during an argument with Stolas, while also dehumanizing him (de-demonizing?). He shows up again a little later in a state. Poor guy. The worst he ever gets from Stolas is this:

Not great, but definitely not as violent as Stella. My interpretation of Stolas with his imp staff is that he's at worst negligent and careless with them, but he's not nearly as intentionally violent.

And I was joking about the physical similarities, the majority of the cast have red eyes. I'm not even taking shots at Vivzie's character design.

I don't know how this got so long, I just had a lot of thoughts.

[lafiametta]

I'm glad I'm not the only one sending you anons lol. I'm gonna switch it up with a question:

We have 5 awesome lead actors in Anora. What do you think is the best thing they bring to their respective roles, and what is your favourite acting moment from each of them?

See, I have no idea who's sending me these asks, so for all I know you could all be the same person. It's cool to realize you're not, though! :)

Anyway, this is super fun! Let's get started:

Vache Tovmasyan brings such a weirdly endearing sad-sack quality to Garnik. On paper, this guy's a meathead henchman but Tovmasyan is able to play him in such a way that you honestly do feel bad for all the terrible things that are happening to him (even as you laugh). I don't know that I would go so far as to call him my poor little meow meow, but there's something so pathetic about the way he keeps getting shit on by life and somehow still retains the ability to fall asleep just about anywhere. There are a lot of good moments to choose from, but my favorite is right after Ani kicks him into the coffee table and he's searching for ice in the kitchen and finding only a bag of dumplings (“rich people don't have ice?”). He comes back to the couch and collapses on it, just as Ani proclaims that she's not going to run if they untie her. “You are not going anywhere,” he sneers, and even though it's meant to sound harsh and menacing, it's in this hilarious nasal whine, courtesy of the broken nose she just gave him.

Karren Karagulian is likewise able to make us feel sympathy for a character who otherwise would seem like a rude and uncompromising jerk. Karagulian has this world-weariness (and frankly such a hangdog look) that you really do believe that he's wasted the last fourteen years of his life babysitting this spoiled rich kid and getting called at the worst possible times to fix whatever mess the brat has managed to create that day. He's also fed up with just about everything else, including the youth of today with their “TikTok, Instagram, TikTok, Instagram!” and the New York City parking authority who keeps ticketing him and trying to tow his car. I love the scene at the christening, when he checks his phone and audibly groans while holding the baby, but I think my favorite moment is when he's yelling at Garnik on speaker phone as he's driving to the mansion. All we really hear is this disembodied voice, mostly over the struggle in the living room between Ani, Igor, and Garnik, but then it cuts to him just absolutely losing it in the car as he races to the mansion (“I swear to fucking God! Garnik, you stupid fucking idiot!”). And you feel kind of bad for him, because, yeah, he really did choose some terrible henchmen to employ.

Mark Eydelshteyn is really fantastic as Ivan. My understanding is that the makers of the movie weren't really expecting that he would bring such a sweet goofiness to Ivan (in the script, he's more just a garden-variety entitled rich kid) and that it really helped to make the audience believe that Ani could fall for him — or at least fall for the fantasy he represented. Eydelshteyn is also really good at letting these little hints of Ivan's selfish, spoiled nature shine through, even in the first act of the movie, like the way he fully ignores Ani while playing his video games or how he fake-berates the manager at Caesars Palace (his anger wasn't real, but the joke was unnecessary and kind of mean). There are a lot of great acting moments (the naked somersault into bed, the stoned rapping to the candy shop owner), but I really like the one on the tarmac with Ani. He's finally sobered up, not just from the night of drinking but also from the dream that he can escape the disappointment of his parents, and all that sweet goofiness is just gone, revealing the self-centered and casually cruel person he really is. (“What do you want me to say?” he tells he girl he proposed to just a few weeks earlier. “Do you understand that now we must go in the fucking plane and fly in fucking Vegas? Get it?” His eyes are just dead; there's no sign he recognizes any of her pain or disappointment.)

Yura Borisov, who is rightly being nominated for all sorts of awards (and is on a lot of short lists for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar), brings such soulfulness to Igor. He's “the Russian,” just some guy brought along for back-up in case they need muscle, but he's drawn into the orbit of the story, closer and closer to the whirlwind that is Ani, and we uncover him piece by piece as the film progresses. It's the way that Borisov slowly reveals Igor's true depths and ultimately his role as the movie's moral center that makes the performance so good and so enjoyable to watch. And the silent acting is amazing; just watch the journey he goes on with his eyes alone while he's struggling on the couch with Ani pinned on top of him. In terms of favorite moments, the candy shop scene is definitely up there, just because it reveals — in a way that we already sensed but hadn't really seen — Igor's clear capacity for destructive violence. I also love the delighted little grin and giggle after “Touché, motherfucker?” But I don't really know how anything can compare to the final scene in the car. Because he just flips through layer after layer — resignation, confusion, shock, desire, hope, bewilderment, understanding, and compassion — and he does it without saying a single word.

Mikey Madison inhabits the role of Ani in a way that's just so unbelievably impressive. And she really does take a character who could be seen as just a brash, trashy, foul-mouthed hustler and make her into someone you really want to succeed. Ani is brash and kind of trashy and foul-mouthed and she definitely hustles, but Madison brings such buoyancy and charm to the role that she's able to transform those attributes into a really sympathetic and relatable person. (And apparently she did do a huge amount of training to learn how to pole dance, even though she's only on the pole for about 20 seconds in the movie.) God, I don't even know how I would pick my favorite acting moment in the movie, just because there are so many. The opening scenes in the club are so good, just because it establishes the pure hustle of her job and the persona she cultivates for the male clients (and also for Ivan, during their relationship), and there's the physicality of the fight scene with Igor in the living room, which feels so real both in its terror and slapstick comedy. I would talk about the car scene, which is equally as impressive on Madison's part as it is on Borisov's, but I really love the scene at the club as she's leaving for the last time (or so she thinks) and she's saying goodbye to everyone and talking about how she's going to have her honeymoon at Disney World and stay in a Disney princess suite. Because at this point you just love Ani so much and you can feel her excitement and belief in this idea that she's found her prince and she's going to live happily ever after — and you really want it for her too! (Cue the walls about to come crashing down.)

[the-blossica-fan]

Greetings!

Actors Au - Arcana's wand

Deffo theres two versions of it, one as a wearable head prop (like those knife in the head headband halloween ones) and a separate wand version.

Arcana has had multiple occasions of dropping the wand, literally the most uncomfortable thing to hold so thank god she's only holding it in a couple of scenes. Joke about her having several moments of breaking the prop and having to get a new one, she likes to spin it around like a baton when just waiting for the next scene.

In terms of voice, I would imagine her voice being like Druvis' VA, the exact same but ofc no old English, but I think she likes to be a little shit and mess with people by using old English, probably had to study a little bit to play the role (cough mostly Constantine)

For headband prop, loads of the actors like to play with it for fun (cough Vertin likes to borrow it cough) - that moment when Arcana removes the wand from her hand and goo comes out is the worst part of filming for her, since the goo is probably real and gets stuck in her hair (cue Vert and whoever she wrangles into her pranks to stick shit in for fun).

I think her and Vertin as best buddies milked the shit out of the Green Oranges scene, loads of meme recreations over that scene in the behind the scenes posts on the offical social media of the show to torment fans.

Aka Arcana has little shit energy to some degree :)

Hello Comrade Forgor!

I love the "(cough mostly Constantine)" because at the beginning I thought you meant she studied Constantine and physically stopped to re-read and make sure I was reading right. Spoilers: I wasn't.

Actor AU Arcana is a very calm person, I agree with the voice as well. She has a very soothing and tranquil voice, a contrast to her personality hidden behind a pretty and gorgeous face. Yes she will use the wand to annoyingly hit people on their shoulder (softly, the material is too dangerous) and watch them turn around in confusion, they see nothing ofc

She may seem like a mature older woman with years of experience in life until you see her and this top-hat wearer teen giggling mischievously as they wait for the next victim of the "goo-headset". Yup, she and Vertin are good friends. Though she and Vert have a rocky relationship plagued by pranks on one another.

Cuts to Vert storming off a bathroom, angry, with black goo all over her favorite white shirt because Arcana tricked her into sitting on a chair covered by it.

I bet the wand is made out of metal for it to look really authentic so... Yeah she can't do much with it in terms of joking, unless she and Bette try to spin their wand faster to see who wins. Bette does, years of experience.

It's still heavy and the shape makes it annoying to hold. Though sometimes she hands it to Constantine, suggesting for it to be used as a cane when she's being annoying, saying stuff like "Let's get you to bed, old woman".

Arcana: Thy eyes still cause this heart of mine to quicken with every glance thou cast upon me.

Constantine: Arcana, we're in McDonald's could you please just ask for your fucking burger?

As for the wearable head prop, she hates it with all her might ❤️

It leaves her hair either greasy or strangely sticky due to the whatever goo in it for realism. Vertin also has this problem but she wears it because she wants to and she looks cute in it so she doesn't mind as much.

Another one who I believe would play with it a lot is Sotheby. Mr. Karson has to thoroughly wash her hair because that IS some sticky liquid, and black too! Annoying as hell.

Vert doesn't get close to it because the pain it is to make sure it doesn't fall should never be ignored, it's measured to Arcana's head only and it keeps falling down from her head and if she's not prepared, she falls alongside it. (And Lya is so annoyed by this)

Arcana is very experienced in acting though, never one to do less than perfect in her acts, and while she's one of the best actresses, she's also a huge menace to the rest of the actors, as lore accurate. But she's nice as well so people don't mind her.

Until she joins Vert, Lilya, Monique and Trista for pranking. Then the world is doomed and people should sleep with one eye open every night.

[azaharinflames]

I gotta say, I find the buddies refusal to accept both Ryan AND Eddie/the shows outright statements that Eddie is straight disgusting.

If we flipped the narrative, if we had Eddie say outright say he is gay, and everyone started shouting "no! He's just lying to himself, he's actually straight!" Can you imagine the outcry? People storming the castle, claims of homophobia because the fans not listening to what he's saying don't want him to be gay. But when he claims he's straight, it's perfectly okay to claim that he doesn't know himself, that he's lying to everyone because those fans don't like what he's saying?

I'm not saying people can't ship buddie. People ship fanon couples all the time, regardless of their sexual orientation. If they want to ignore canon and have fun with their fanon couple in their own little play space, that's fine, go nuts. What isn't fine, is choosing to ignore canon and then DEMANDING that the show bend to their will because they don't like it. If this was real life, and you told someone that they were straight "no you're not, because you exhibit traits a, b and c which a straight person couldn't POSSIBLY have, so therefore I've decided you're gay?" Ooh boy.

And yes, I know this isn't real life, it's a TV show, but it's real people who are playing these characters, real people who are getting harassed (both actors and fans) because a certain subset of the fandom aren't getting what they want. Not to mention, this mindset is the very toxic masculinity that Ryan has been saying he wants to dispel with Eddie's story - that a man being being vulnerable, emotional etc doesn't make them weak and doesn't mean they are automatically gay. And if people have these attitudes towards fictional characters, that they think two guys cant be close with each other without there being some some of sexual component underneath, that people don't know their own sexuality because it doesn't fit your expectations, what are they like towards people in real life?

Hi, Nonnie! Thanks for your ask!

Hard agree - I find it disgusting as well. I think it's one thing to have something as a hc, and another to claim it is the indisputable truth. And the thing with Gay Eddie very much falls into the latter. And it's like you say - what if we flipped the narrative?

Case in point: what if we suddenly started to claim Hen is straight, that there have been signs of this, and that it's obvious she doesn't know better? What if we were to claim this over and over, even with Aisha stating Hen is a lesbian and very happily married to her wife?

And, hey, I do understand the situation isn't exactly the same, but in the end, it comes to being disrespectful and, honestly, a bit gross. And, as it has been said before, if Ryan is saying (multiple times) that Eddie is straight in interviews (and hell, even the show), that's because he's gotten permission to say that. It's not a game of misdirection, but a confirmation of his sexuality to stop people from thinking Buddie might happen.

And, yes! Ship buddie by all means as a fanon couple. I will never tell anyone to not do that, because that'd be insane of me. But, like you've said anon, they should not go demanding the show to bend at their will, and they should not harass everyone they can think of when their ship doesn't happen. Shipping is supposed to be fun, and they're not supposed to take shipping war so damn literal. My God.

Lastly - yeah, good point. Ryan has made sure to explain why this SL is so important to him, why he wants to show Eddie can be in touch with his emotions and be vulnerable, and for that not to mean he's gay. It might not be the message that side of the fandom wanted, but it is still a really good message. And the one that RG clearly wants to tell, he couldn't have made it clearer.

Thanks again - my inbox is open for ranting, venting, discussing (911 or whatever), and giving opinions (popular or unpopular)!

Take care <3

[antimony-medusa]

honestly yeah u make a really good point in ur mcyt rpf post. i was Also the person bemoaning how mcyt defaults into vbrpf tags and that there isn't a separate set, but then i realized like. i spent Years writing fic about the roosterteeth crew, which all fell in a very similar gray area like mcyt. like looking at shit like fake ah crew fic, the characters written about there are very obviously separate from the real life people, but also they are intrinsically linked. the characters don't exist without the people. and even though we were all in fandom talking and writing about them like playing with dolls, it was still like... yeah okay this fits under the rpf umbrella still. i never questioned it then, or was bothered about it not being a separate tag set, because it didn't feel necessary. which is really the same situation with mcyt!! its just that for any number of reasons, mcyt fandom in particular tends to have a very loud and very vehement group that think rpf as a whole is abhorrent and doesn't even want to be clocked anywhere close to it. which like honestly thats a personal issue at that point, thats not on everyone else to deal with, and certainly not on ao3 to sort out.

Yeah like I think RPF has a bad reputation because of some very obvious bad actors who've behaved badly in the past that the whole internet knows about, and especially because MCYT was kind of the butt of the joke and hatred for a lot of social media sites, a lot of people were eager to emphasize that they weren't behaving like that, it was fine, they were being totally normal (and they had the creator's permission, hence the boundaries discourse and the twitter cancellations for anything "weird"), and nobody should hate them cause they totally weren't like those weirdos.

And that's a really understandable reaction to try and do, I also have gone into the comments of bracket polls and seen hate, but that also ignores that the vast majority of RPF is a) not actually hurting anyone b) is not any more egregious in its content than any other fandom c) Is not inherently weirder to the creators than anyone who avidly follows their social media and shows up at their meet and greet and like— tts them stuff. We've all seen people TTS stuff that should NOT have been said in view of the creators, but the vast majority of it is perfectly fine. I very much think we shouldn't be showing RPF to the creators, and because the boundary is thin for MCYT I extend that to thinking that there's a WHOLE bunch of stuff that we shouldn't be showing to the creators— from gore to shipping to nsfw to aging down family dynamics to stuff about people they've lost— but I don't think that reacting with a horrified gasp to anyone saying "oh yeah rpf" is actually necessary. Or heck, if you were watching twitchcon vids and you want to straight up write tagged-as-RPF, go with god, I don't think that's inherently any weirder than people who go to twitchcon to meet streamers. You like them a lot and you want to rotate them mentally and get a picture with them, that's like, fine. As long as we keep it in fandom spaces and don't make the streamers feel weird cause we're showing them it, you're just doing what people who got really into polygon videos over the pandemic did, or historians who write historical RPF about their ancient blorbos, or whatever. it's fine.

Particularly cause what I write is mostly aus, I've had to wrestle with the question of if what I'm writing is RPF, and I think it's (usually) not, I can tell in my head when I'm thinking streamers or when I'm thinking characters, but like, we're talking *really* fine distinctions at points. If someone thinks that it's RPF it's not an insult to me, I can tell how they get there, and me reacting like it IS an insult is kind of rude to my fandom neighbours who are writing Gamechanger RPF where they design their own challenges cause they just have so much fun with the show, you know?

Some of this is just that I'm in my 30s and I'm tired of fandom policing, I can coexist with a lot of shit if you just tag it appropriately so I can filter it if I need to. For the holiday exchange last year we had no RPF as a rule not because I had an issue with it, but because the form to get the information for it would have been literally two hundred checkboxes long and I didn't want to do that to my spreadsheets.

I kind of drifted from your point there, but yeah, I think MCYT is legitimately in a blurry spot when it comes to if it's RPF or not, but that's not something I think we need to get all up in arms about, and we certainly don't need to, as I saw someone recommend we all do, file a ticket with Ao3 to remove MCYT tags from Video Blogging RPF.

[keyh0use]

why I've been absent & tw for m*rder, su*cide

I know I don't really owe anyone an explanation but I want to give one for my own piece of mind because I feel so guilty. Back in February I was injured really badly and hospitalised, and a couple days later my cousin, Christopher, was brutally murdered in prison. As a CO myself I've seen it happen more times than I can stomach to think about so it wasn't a huge shock, but we had gotten close over the last couples years, trying to provide him the support the rest of our family has denied him since his sentencing. Amongst so many other things we surprisingly had in common, he wrote too (not the same content as me, obviously, lol) and he was willing to provide me with a perspective I could only speculate on in Delicate, going over the relationships and how he would feel reconnecting with the person who got him incarcerated, like Rafe does with Barry in the story. And he succumbed to his injuries all by himself, no funeral, no obituary and I clung to that fic, terrified if anyone read it and criticised it I would literally never write again. As a distraction I put all my efforts into a story where Rafe tries to follow in his mothers footsteps by committing suicide, I just felt the heartache for it. My first funeral was for my aunt and uncle, Chris' parents, also murdered and the comparisons kept coming until I finished it. Then the same thing happened, it felt too real and vulnerable to share. So I tried writing something lighter, couldn't. Vampires? Blood, killing. Reminded me too much of what it felt like to be really hurt. And like what happened to someone I cared deeply for. As the months went by I pushed myself way too hard to get better physically and emotionally, pressured myself to sit through movies that made me uncomfortable to try and associate violence with actors instead of myself and ended up just getting way, way worse when I faced my attacker in court. Things slowed down after that, I tried to give myself a break that didn't make me feel guilty, ignored all the messages and comments asking for updates, just stayed off this side of social media all together so I wouldn't be reminded I'm not giving people the content they follow me for. My grandfathers cancer progressed, I spent a lot of time with him thankfully, and he committed medically assisted suicide the day of my best friends wedding rehearsal. The next night? Love of my life confesses his feelings for me but it's too late, we never said anything over the last 11 or so years and a couple weeks ago he married someone else. We buried my grampy, miscommunication tropes are super fun to write about but absolutely suck in real life, and I'm still not really feeling up to posting anything. All this to say I'm really sorry if I'm disappointing anyone. All I can do is promise I'm trying to figure everything out and that I haven't abandoned any works.

[marblemoonstones]

🩵 catharsis ~ chapter four

main masterlist

series masterlist

pairing: bts ot7 x reader

genre: collegestudentreader!au 

warnings: ❗️any characters in the story have nothing to do with their real life counterparts❗️f reader, reader with glasses, reader gets yelled at briefly, use of word bitch

word count: ~4.4k

a/n: sorry everyone, it’s been a while! been busy, but i hope you enjoy reading 🤎

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The next couple weeks passed by in a blur, and before I knew it it was almost time for school to start up again. I’m going into my junior year at Seoul National University (sorry, super basic college) and am majoring in Education, as I want to be a teacher like Namjoon. But, unlike Namjoon, I don’t want to teach high schoolers. I want to be an elementary school teacher. (Sorry, I know it’s a pretty big time skip but I wanted to actually get to the college scenes lol)

The boys convinced me (more like begged me) to stay with them for school and said that “Your presence is payment enough!” (Minus Hoseok of course, as we’re still not on good terms for whatever reason) I finally relented after seeing the prices for dorms. Why were they so high for broke college students? Through these few weeks I have gotten to know the boys better.

Namjoon and I have gotten close because of our similarity in careers. We both are avid learners and want to help others learn and have bonded over many cups of tea. I know that I can go to him for any help with my schoolwork, and he says he will come to me for ideas because I am “younger and know what’s hip these days.” We also both love to read and have exchanged books frequently. He is more of a science fiction and fantasy type reader while I adore romance books (again, sorry if you don’t like these types of books). While I admit that his books are fascinating, I still prefer my cheesy, k-drama worthy books. There’s nothing better than us two sitting on my balcony reading all afternoon with some treats Jin or I baked.

Jin and I have become better friends through our cooking and baking. He is a master chef and much better than I will ever be, but it’s still fun to learn from him. It often makes me wonder why he is an actor and not a cook, but people can have more than one avid interest. My baking skills are modest at best, but I do still love to make different types of cookies as my mom taught me and to make cute mini lunchbox cakes for the boys to take to their work for a sweet treat. 

More often than not I catch Yoongi looking at my treats longingly so I make more and send them with him to work. He is especially fond of my coffee cookies as I found him secretly eating them as a midnight snack one night. Yoongi and I have a mutual understanding where if we both need to relax for second and just breathe, we’ll seek out each other. I sometimes sit in his studio, just zoning out and giving myself a minute. And he sometimes will come find me in my room and just lay down next to me as I continue watching my show. These moments make me feel content.

Times that I do not feel content are whenever I’m with Hoseok. I genuinely want to at least be acquaintances, but he seems to want to be enemies forever. I try to reach out but every time he ignores me. More often than not he finds some excuse to not be in the room with me. I know the boys have noticed, but they haven’t said anything to me about it. I can only hope that with time he and I will eventually be able to tolerate each other. 

With Jimin it has been a little harder to connect, but we eventually got to the point where we are now. While I’m not as close to him as the maknaes or even Yoongi, we still have a good bond. It all started when I asked if I could use the dance studio in the house (rich people, am I right?) for fun. I danced all through high school at a recreational studio and I enjoy it occasionally to keep me exercised. I was stretching when Jimin walked in and asked if he could watch. I was nervous at first but then once I got started I fell into my own world. Jimin applauded afterwards and I bowed, embarrassed. We both then danced together and that’s how our friendship started. 

My friendship with the youngest two grew during those couple of weeks. After the shopping trip they decided that we were now a ‘trio of trouble’ and that we were besties. I’ll admit, sometimes I did feel a bit like I was third-wheeling them but for the most part it was great to have genuine friends. Sure, I had friends but they were mostly college friends that I didn’t see outside of school. But with Tae and Kook I felt that I could truly be myself. Endless hours of binging movies, playing video games, and doing stupid challenges/dares kept me entertained until my first day back. 

Which is today. I’m not nervous, but I always get a small pit of dread in my stomach. I only have two classes today, Foundations of Education and Psychology (not me stealing these class names off a random college website haha). Foundations of Ed is in late morning, then I have a short break before Psych which is early afternoon. I have these classes three times a week, but they’re my only classes on those days. 

I roll out of bed and rub my eyes before grabbing my glasses groggily. I knock on Jungkook and I’s shared bathroom and don’t get a response so I turn the knob and no one’s in there. I know today is also Jungkook’s first day of senior year but I’m fairly certain that he has a class around the same time as me. I wonder why he’s not up yet? Knowing him he overslept. That boy needs to learn to get a better sleep schedule. I lock both connecting doors and then carefully place my glasses on the counter. After showering I hop out, put my glasses on (bad vision is a curse, and this author knows the struggle, trust me, but at least glasses/contacts exist) and after drying off I change. 

I put on jean shorts and a pink shirt, and after going into my bedroom I grab my backpack and double check that I have all of my supplies. A couple notebooks, binders, and of course a pencil pouch that’s all stocked up. Notebook paper as well as folders are also neatly lined up. I zip it up and then make my way downstairs. 

Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, and Yoongi are all at their respective jobs. Jin is taking a break from acting, so he’s mostly here and Taehyung has a shoot later in the afternoon so I know he is also around. 

Sure enough, Jin’s cooked me a ‘back to school breakfast,’ which is super sweet of him. 

“Thank you so much Jin! You really didn’t have to do this,” I say to him.

“Of course I did! It you and our maknae’s first day back so you deserve a special breakfast,” Jin replies. “Speaking of, where is the little brat? He shouldn’t be sleeping because he has to get ready and take you both to school!” 

“He’s still sleeping,” Taehyung says, walking down the stairs.

“Ugh, that kid will be the death of me. I’ll go get him. Eat up!” Jin goes upstairs, mumbling under his breath about how annoying Jungkook is.

I laugh, then sit down with Taehyung and start eating. Taehyung grins his boxy smile and says, “I wonder if Jungkookie will be late on his first day. If he is, I can take you to school.”

“I don’t think that Jin will let Kook be late,” I say, thinking of the father-like eldest.

“True. He’ll probably drag Jungkook by his hair if that means he gets up,” Taehyung says, laughing.

About ten minutes later a weary looking Jungkook and an irritated Jin come walking down the stairs.

“See, this is why you need to be more like y/n! She gets up on time and is actually prepared for school,” Jin scolds.

“Yeah yeah whatever hyung,” Jungkook says sleepily, sitting down at the table and eating a few bites of the now cold breakfast. 

“Don’t ‘whatever hyung’ me, you have to promise that whenever you have school you’ll actually be ready,” Jin says.

“Okay fine I promise. Y/n you ready to go?” Jungkook says, standing up from the table and going to get his shoes on.

“Yep,” I reply, going to put on my white converse.

“Bye! Have a good first day!” Jin and Taehyung say as we leave. 

Jungkook drives a nice sedan today instead of one of the rich luxurious cars they normally drive.

“Are you excited?” I ask Jungkook, “You’re almost done with school!”

“I’m excited to be done with it,” Jungkook agrees. We pull up and he parks then we get out and get ready to head to our respective classes. 

“Well have fun with your Foundations of Ed class. You don’t need a ride home after, right?” Jungkook asks me.

I shake my head. “Nope. I’m going to chill here through lunch until my Psych class then I’ll take the bus home.” 

“You know you can call any of us to take you home right? We wouldn’t mind,” Jungkook says. 

I know they wouldn’t care but I don’t want to bother them with me. 

“Oh, you’re all busy people so don’t worry about it! Here come some of your friends so I’d better go.” There are a couple guys and girls who are walking up to Jungkook. 

“Hey Jungkook!” 

“Good to see you bro!”

“How was your summer?” 

“Who’s this?”

The last question comes from a snobby looking girl. Her inky black hair is up in a high ponytail and she looks at me with disdain. 

“Oh, this is y/n. She’s the one who’s staying with me and the boys for a while,” Jungkook says, introducing me. 

“Hi y/n, I’m Felix.” He waves at me and I wave back.

“I’m Jackson,” says the next boy, grinning at me. 

“I’m Hwasa,” says the girl next to the snobby one. 

“And I’m Haneul,” says snobby girl. 

“Nice to me you all,” I say.

“So you’re the girl who’s too poor to stay at a dorm!” Haneul says sweetly.

“Haneul,” Felix says through gritted teeth, “That’s not true.”

“I’m sure it is though, Felix. Isn’t that right, y/n?” Haneul now has the biggest fake smile I’ve ever seen. 

“Oh, well I supposed so,” I say, deflated at the thought that the boys think I’m just a ‘girl who’s too poor to stay at a dorm.’

“Um, y/n that’s not what-“ Jungkook starts, sensing my change in mood.

“I’ve got to get to class! Bye everyone, it was nice meeting you.” I interrupt Jungkook. Turning on my heel, I swiftly walk away from the group, hearing Haneul whisper under her breath, “I told you she was poor.” 

I find my building and classroom and walk in. It’s a decently sized room with partner desks in neat rows. Some students are already sitting in desks chatting with each other.

I find a seat in the back right corner by the window so I can see outside. I can only hope no one will sit by me, but that seems to not be the case as a couple minutes later a tired looking boy asks if he can sit next to me. I say yes and he flops into the seat and lays his head on his arms. 

“Oh, by the way my name’s Seungmin,” he mumbles before closing his eyes.

I smile, amused at his tiredness and turn my attention to the professor as she walks in. 

“Good morning class and welcome to Foundations of Education. We will be learning the basics of education and teaching in this class. My name is Professor Shin. Now, let’s take roll.” As she starts calling names, I turn my attention to my sleeping deskmate. I wonder if I should wake him up? 

“Choi y/n?” 

“Here,” I say.

Eventually she gets to Seungmin. 

“Kim Seungmin?” 

I nudge his elbow but he doesn’t stir. Then I poke him. Hard. This makes his head shoot up and then sees everyone staring at him. 

“Oh, uh, here.” 

“Mr. Kim, if you could please refrain from sleeping in class that would be much appreciated,” Professor Shin says with an annoyed look on her face. She then continues on with attendance. 

“Hey, are you okay? You look super exhausted,” I say to Seungmin, seeing how his eyes are red and have dark circles underneath them. 

“I’m fine I just stayed up way too late last night,” he says.

I nod then turn back to the professor, who is now passing out a slyllabus. I take a deep breath then focus for the rest of the class.

After class I bid goodbye to a still sleepy Seungmin and head out to get lunch. There are picnic tables around campus so I grab something to eat then go sit at an empty one. I enjoy the breeze through my hair and the peacefulness of the trees. Until I see someone coming up to me out of the corner of my eye. I look and it’s Hwasa and Jackson. 

“Hey y/n, can we sit here?” She asks.

“Sure.” 

They sit and pull out their own lunches.

“We’re sorry about Haneul this morning,” Jackson says after chewing and swallowing, “She can be a bit…blunt sometimes.”

“Who’re we kidding Jackson, she’s blunt all of the time,” Hwasa says with an eye roll. 

I appreciate these two apologizing for their friend’s action and like them immediately. 

“You guys really don’t have to apologize. I mean, I am poor enough to not be able to afford a dorm,” I say.

“Even if it’s true, that doesn’t mean she needs to be so bitchy about it, and besides, dorms are expensive for anyone,” Hwasa points out.

“Can we not talk about Haneul now please? I’m trying to eat,” Jackson complains. Hwasa and I laugh and we change the subject to school and finish our lunches. 

“Thanks for letting us join you for lunch y/n,” Hwasa says as we clean up and throw away our trash. 

“Of course. It’s nice to meet some of Kook’s friends!” I say, genuinely glad to have made more friends.

“Aww, you called him Kook. Are you two super close? You can tell us. We’ve been his best friends for ages now,” Jackson says.

I want to trust them, so I reply “I guess you could say that. We definitely have gotten closer these past couple of weeks.” 

“Ooh, have you now?” I hear a horrible voice behind me. Of course it’s Haneul. 

“You see, you may have gotten closer to Jungkook but I’ve known him since he was little. No one knows him better than me,” Haneul says, trying to intimidate me. 

It’s true that I still know little about the boys’ background and upbringings, but I am still surprised that Jungkook would hang out with someone like Haneul. The boys also haven’t mentioned her at all.

“You only hung out because your parents were good friends with his,” Hwasa explains with yet another eye roll. 

“Are you jealous Haneul?” Jackson teases, enjoying the glare in Haneul’s eyes.

“No, of course not. Why would I be jealous of a stupid nobody like her?” 

Wow, straight to the point. I can try to ignore it, but I’m not sure if I can deal with another person hating me. Hoseok is more than enough.

“Excuse me, I need to get to my next class.” I leave as gracefully as I can but my body still reacts to her calling me stupid. I take a deep breath and try to calm my shaking hands and racing heart. Eventually I am calm enough to walk into my next class, but my hands still tremble. 

I step into my Psychology hall, a big airy room made for a lot of students. There’s only a couple people in there as I am early because I was escaping from Haneul. 

I take a seat near the middle because I want to be able to see the board. Soon the hall starts filling up with students. A girl sits to my left and eventually a guys sits on my right. Neither of them look at me and continue to talk to their friends around them. 

The professor comes in, a kind looking man. He introduces himself as Professor Kim (so many Kims) and starts to talk. The class goes by quickly and then I’m free. First day of school done. I make my way out of the crowded hall and back into the sunlight. I check my phone and see that I have a couple missed text from Jungkook.

I’m sorry that Haneul said those things. I know ur not poor and I apologize for her words.

Y/n? Ur probably in class, but I just wanted to remind u that any of us would be happy to take u home after ur last class.

I smile at his Haneul text, but text him back to tell him that no one has to take me home.

I’m a big girl Kook, I can take myself home. But thanks :) 

I am about to round the corner of the building when I hear Haneul talking. I stop when I hear that she’s talking about me. 

“Honestly y/n probably just wants the boys money. She’s just a gold digger that acted all pitiful and the boys are too sweet to say no to her. I feel bad for her because as soon as the boys figure this out she’s going to be kicked out of their house. Actually that’ll be super funny!” 

I hear tittering laughter and turn around to go the other way, eyes slightly glassy. Is this what everyone thinks? That I’m a gold digger? If they think that, then I won’t accept anymore gifts from the boys. Them letting me stay is more than enough and I don’t want them to hear these rumors because it will impact their reputation. 

I blink the tears away and then continue to the bus stop. I check my phone to see that Jungkook has texted me again. 

Look, I know u can handle urself but I don’t want anything happening to u. Hobi-hyung is free now and I sent him to pick you up. Just this once bc it’s the first day ok? :) 

Great. I can’t let Hoseok see me like this. I sniff then blink and make sure I look okay before seeing a car pull up that has Hoseok in the driver’s seat. I text Jungkook back.

Ok just this once but no more after today Kook 

I go up to the car and open the passenger door, climbing in to a stoic Hoseok.

“Hi Hoseok. Thanks for picking me up. You don’t ever have to do this again. I told Jungkook I will be taking the bus for the rest of the year.”

“That kid didn’t even think that I have dance today, so I’m taking you to my studio. We can then go home together afterwards with Jimin,” Hoseok says with his usual coldness.

Oh boy. Going to his work? This is great. Just great.

The rest of the car ride is silent except for the light music of the radio. 

We pull up to a modern looking building that says Epiphany. I get out and follow Hoseok inside. The receptionist greets us and then Hoseok tells me to wait out here.

“My class ends in an hour and so does Jimin’s. We’ll leave after that so just wait here patiently.” He then leaves and I’m left to sit in the rather comfy chairs. The receptionist smiles at me and tells me to tell her if I need anything. 

There are two big glass windows and I can see into the studios. I see Jimin in one of them, leading stretches to younger looking children. I smile as they talk and laugh while doing their splits. I look to the other one and there’s Hoseok leading some college looking dancers in stretches too. 

The front door swings open and in walks none other than Hwasa and Haneul. 

“Oh my gosh, we’re late! Let’s go before Hobi kills us!” Hwasa says hurriedly, rushing to the studio with Hoseok in it. “Hi y/n!” She calls as she darts last me. 

Haneul is in less than a rush than Hwasa. “Oh hello y/n. What are you doing here? Surely you aren’t here for class? Only the best of the best come here.” 

“I’m just waiting for Hoseok and Jimin to finish their classes,” I say, trying to be polite even though I heard her hurtful words earlier. 

“Oh you can’t even drive? That’s rough. Or is it that you don’t have a car?” Haneul asks with a look of pity on her face.

“I can drive perfectly fine, but I don’t have a car as of right now. Anyways, aren’t you late to your class?” I ask as nicely as I can.

“Oh yeah, guess I’d better head there. Have fun sitting!” Haneul bounces away and I sigh. She’s everywhere, so I guess I better get used to her and her rude words. 

I turn my attention back to Jimin’s class. He’s leading the kids through the five ballet positions, walking around and fixing their legs and arms. His cheerful and encouraging smile makes me smile, and I can feel my heart flutter a bit. But, just as every time before, I push it away and remind myself that the boys are off limits. They all have each other and are happy. You’re just going after the first attractive people that you see y/n. And it just so happens to be your housemates. I can’t help that these are the kindest and most beautiful boys I’ve ever seen. They’re strictly friends to me and will stay that way. 

I look at Hoseok’s class, seeing that they’re now done warming up and move on to dancing hip-hop and free styling. While most of the class is good, my eye is drawn to Hoseok. This makes sense, as he is the teacher, but for some reason I can’t tear my eyes away. He looks up as he’s dancing and our eyes lock on each other. I quickly look away, my cheeks burning as he probably doesn’t like me staring at him. But then I see that his eyes are turned away too, and there is a hint of a blush on his cheeks. Or it could just be that he’s tired and sweaty from dancing. 

After both classes finish, I stand and stretch my arms from sitting for an hour. Hwasa comes out of the locker room and asks me, “What did you think? Were you impressed by my amazing dance skills?” 

I laugh and reply, “Yes of course. I didn’t know that you could dance like that!”

“Well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know,” Hwasa teases, “Like how you don’t know that Hobi was staring at you during class?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I say, dropping my voice to a whisper-yell, “He wasn’t looking at me! He hates me! And he’s dating six other boys!”

“Whatever they all like girls too…Unfortunately I have to go now, but give me your number and text me if any updates happen!” Hwasa swiftly grabs my phone and types her number in it, winks, and then saunters out. 

That girl! Thinking Hoseok was staring at me…that’s ridiculous. She’s crazy. But I think that we’re starting a great friendship. And the boys also like girls? That’s new to me.

“Hi y/n! What did you think of our class?” That awful voice again. Haneul.

I force a smile before saying, “It was great! You all are so talented.” 

“Why, thank you. I like to think so. I’m sure you’re good at something, right? Even poor people have some use in this world.” 

This girl. Honestly, if poor is the worst insult that she can come up with, it could be much worse.

“Look, Haneul-“

“Did you just call y/n poor?” A voice behind us asks. We both look to see Hoseok, standing with his arms crossed and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. 

Haneul smirks, and I know that she is thinking that Hoseok is going to agree with her. She’s probably right.

“Yes, I did call y/n poor. I mean, come on Hobi, we all know that she’s just leeching off of the boys and your money and that-“

“Haneul, even if I don’t particularly like someone that doesn’t mean I talk bad about them and call them names to their face and behind the back. That’s just rude. Don’t be a bitch.” 

Haneul is shocked and storms out of the studio. 

I turn to Hoseok to thank him. 

“Thanks Hoseok. I really appreciate it, and I’m sorry-“

“Stop apologizing. No one deserves to be bullied by others,” he says bluntly. 

“Look, can I just ask you one question? Why do you hate me?” I burst out, frustrated because he defended me but still is coldly talking to me.

“I don’t hate you. I just don’t like change,” Hoseok says, sighing. 

“Okay, well I just wish that you would’ve told me beforehand. I’m sorry for being change in your life and-“

“God y/n! Stop apologizing!” Hoseok shouts. I avert my eyes to the ground, as this is my usual tactic when someone yells at me. I try not to think of my ex. 

I hear Hoseok apologize, low and slow. 

Then he says, quieter, “Look, I don’t hate you and I wish that you would stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. Let’s get this out of the way; we may not like each other but let’s try to get along for the boys’ sake. Does that sound okay?” 

I take a deep breath and nod. 

“Sure, Hoseok.”

He does a small smile for the first time at me and holds out his hand. 

“Getting along?”

I shake it. 

“Getting along.”

a/n: i was going to write more, but i thought it was better to end here! looks like y/n and hobi are finally going to maybe get along! what do you think of haneul? and stray kids, hwasa, and jackson cameo! much love y’all. have an amazing day or night wherever you are 🫶🏼🩷

[disinherited-dornishman]

How you ship Crisnyra and reblog bullshit saying Rhaenyra coerced/assaulted Cole?Actors and showrunners all said its consensual and amde to be beautiful and pleasurable in contrast to Alicents rape scene with Viserys multiple times.Cole had all the time in the world to decide and the way the scene was framed with the waiting periods away from Rhaenyra, him taking off his own clothes, the armour etc him picking her up and initiating the actual sex on top while smiling...He wanted it. This was meant to show him choosing desire over his vows

I've had an exhausting day of work so I'm going to let the ass-ignorant problematic dumb shit you're displaying as regards the consent of that scene speak for itself and just focus on my answer to the actual question.

At the risk of sounding like Homelander of all people (ew), I can like whatever the fuck I want. I am under no obligation to explain these enjoyments to a stranger on the internet, so you're welcome.

Now onto the answer:

First, you can make your own judgements separate from what writers and actors tell you and still be valid. I don't give a fuck what showrunners say if it's dumb shit. They can say Balerion farted rainbows after Maegor made him eat the High Septon, or, even more ridiculous, that Viserys was a good person, that doesn't mean I'm gonna take them seriously.

Second, I am a staunch anti-colonialist and anti-imperialist, and thus by proxy an anti-Targaryan fan. I reblog posts analysing the Criston/Rhaenyra scene as a sexual assault scene because as an adult human being who doesn't rely on others to tell him how to feel or think about things, I believe that the most mature, genuine, and honest way of internalizing that scene is as, foremost, a sexual assault scene. This reading of that scene is the most realistic one within a sociopolitical context, removed from the fantasy the showrunners and actors are trying to illustrate, because colonizers and imperialists are, by merit of their very existence as a ruling class over natives, rapists. They rape people of rights, cultures, and identity. This is my dead-serious, historical analysis, pretend-it's-real-life view. That said, I can also view media in a more light-hearted and less serious manner, bringing me to my third point:

I ship Crisnyra because, again as an adult human being, I like escapism, and TV shows can be that. A way to switch off that part of my brain that is constantly critical and suspicious and serious and mature, because it can seriously get exhausting. Thankfully, I do this easily with Crisnyra because my first viewing of that scene was extremely romanticized, and I can still look back on it (and prefer to look back on it) as romantic. I blame the scene's direction that you mentioned and Fabs and Milly's chemistry. So when I reblog Crisnyra stuff or write for them in my fanfics as being a genuinely loving couple, that's what I'm doing, I'm choosing to be relaxed and have fun. That simple. I don't have to explain it or justify it to myself. I'm enjoying life at no harm to any fellow human beings.

I'm heartbroken this upsets you, but I don't have to view anything in life in only one way if I don't want to. I like looking at media through a sociological and historical lens, and also through a more personal, intimate, and romantically hopeful one. Sorry you don't have that skill.

You're welcome again for my precious time. Now block my @

[its-lovelyhappycollection]

Has anyone else noticed how much 'this is our someday' completely captures what the show and the band is about?

Allow me to break down the songs lyrics and explain:

'When everyday feels like the other and everywhere looks just the same'

in the show, this highlights what the boys were like in Minnesota, waking up, going to school, making mischief, doing homework and going to work (but that only applies to Kendall).

But in real life, the boys all had a passion for music and entertainment and have done a few cameos in shows and we're waiting for their next job.

When a dream feels like forever and your a face without a name

In the show this line could just relate to James or all the boys in general, James and (seemingly) Kendall wanted to be famous, James with singing and Kendall with hockey while Logan wanted to be a doctor and Carlos wanted to help people, but all of them were just normal boys.

In real life, like I mentioned before, all the boys have a passion for music and entertainment, they've made appearances in shows before, but that was only for a short amount of time and were waiting for their big break.

And maybe now is our best chance, to finally get it right. Just look at the world as an apple and it's time to take a bite

This perfectly symbolizes the opportunity the boys took with BTR, they didn't know how it would turn out, but they still took the opportunity and made the decision of a lifetime.

Someday it will come together, someday we will work it out, I know we can turn it up all the way, (cause this is our someday), someday is what we make it, someday is like here and now, what way what way what way, cause this is our someday

Pretty explanatory these lyrics, we all think 'someday I will achieve my dreams' and to quote James from the show "that someday is today" and that's what this song is about. Embracing that your someday has finally arrived and it's up to you to decide how you do with it.

We all have times, times we wonder will the spotlight shine in me?

With this line, again talking about the show and real life, in the show it was when the boys would get the opportunity to show the world their talents. With Logan it was how good of a doctor he will be, James his singing talent, Kendall with his hockey and Carlos with his desire to help people.

In real life, it was when the boys would finally get the recognition they wanted and finally be able to pursue their passions, both as actors and musicians.

Don't let the waves go and pull us under, we'll miss the opportunity, don't look down or look back.

This comes into play with s4 in the show, and with 1D in real life. In the show, the boys were worried about how with the new rise of boy bands emerging they would be forgotten. But also in the first season were they were dropped by the record company, showing us that yes, there will be obstacles in the way and doubt will be in the way but...

It's not that far to go, cause if we never trap it, we will never really know

The boys continued with their dream, trusting their fans and their fans delivered, even 10+ years later. They didn't know how well they would be received after so long, but they still took the chance and opportunity to come back because like the lyrics said 'we will never really know'

(ignoring chorus as I've done it already)

Oh no, I don't have all the answers, if there is one thing I know for sure, one is good, but four is better

Ok, starting with the show, James originally wanted a solo career, it was all he ever wanted and he got that briefly with Hawk, but he not only realized that Hawk was a jerk, but he also loved singing with his friends, he had more fun singing with his friends.

In real life, all the boys wanted a singing career (yes, I know Kendall had Heffron Drive) but after they joined Big Time Rush, they realized how much fun it was singing together as a group and created a special bond.

As Tanya Chisholm once said in an interview: "in the beginning there was alot of pettiness between them, with who's the star and who's not, now they're like brothers". So yes, this lyric shows the bond between the boys both in the show and the band and what it means to them.

It took some time to get here, but it's better late then never!

Now this lyric shows how far BTR has come, sure, they were well known in 2009-2014, but were overlooked because of 1D, but during their hiatus they all had time to grow individually and find their passions. Now that they've made a come back they've managed to achieve so many things, such as playing at MSG, a true dream come true for them.

So yes, this is our someday' perfectly captures what BTR is all about and it deserves more recognition.

Thank you for joining me in my TED talk of 'this is our someday' where my brain was thinking about this instead of more important things.

Anyways, this is just my personal opinion and I've probably put WAY too much thought into it, but I honestly just had to get it out

[uniiiquehecrt]

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/story/chris-hemsworth-cover-story

It's like the Prequels again. Everyone blamed the actors when it's the director who deserves the blame.

OKAY BUT REAL TALK I ACTUALLY JUST READ THIS WHOLE ARTICLE BEFORE CHECKING MY BLOG RIGHT NOW AND I JUST NEED TO SAY THAT CHRIS BEING SO DOWN AND OUT ABOUT HIS ROLE IN THE MCU IS SO SAD TO ME.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way: to put my full thoughts into words... I want to say first that Robert Downey Jr. has this to say about Chris (in response to Chris feeling like he's not as important or as cool as the other heroes):

"Thor as a character was super tricky to adapt [...] but he and Ken Branagh figured out how to transcend, make him somehow relatable but godlike. Hemsworth is, in my opinion, the most complex psyche out of all of us Avengers. He's got wit and gravitas, but also such restraint, fire, and gentleness."

And this is SO true. He took the words out of my mouth.

Reading the article.. and how and where Chris notes feelings of inadequacy, or feeling he's complaining to much (and therefore being narcissistic by complaining), the burning himself out, etc. Suffice it to say I was struck by one thing in particular: There's a lot of Chris in Thor. A LOT of Chris in Thor. It's not a surprise to me, in that case, that he felt down and out about his role in the Avengers, and the MCU as a whole when Thor is, inherently, consequently, alien. But alien in the sense of being SO important, SO regal, so otherworldly in sheer scope and in depth that where he fit in was ... quite simply grander than the others in the overall scheme of things.

It was the Asgardians who brought the Tesseract to Earth and safeguarded it, and the Aether. Two entire infinity stones within their protection. That, is Thor. Who was the one to have a vision about the role of the infinity stones? Thor in "Avengers: Age of Ultron". Who was the one to bring the Vision to life? Thor, also in "Avengers: Age of Ultron". Who was the one to realize as far back as "The Avengers" (2012) that someone was working behind Loki? It was still Thor.

And what I find most interesting is that Chris isn't exactly wrong about what he says here:

"Sometimes I felt like the security guard for the team," he says. "I would read everyone else's lines, and go, Oh, they got way cooler stuff. They're having more fun. What's my character doing? It was always about, 'You've got the wig on. You've got the muscles. You've got the costume. Where's the lightning?' Yeah I'm part of this big thing, but I'm probably pretty replaceable."

Ignoring for a moment that this is absolutely not at ALL the truth, it's not a surprise to me that he felt this way for... particular people and branches within the overarching fandom spaces I won't name for the sanctity of this post. And it is unendingly sad to me to have undeniable proof from the horse's mouth that Chris lost sight of how much depth and beauty he brought to the table as Thor. And how important Thor is as a result.

And yet, I honestly don't blame him FOR losing sight of that. There's a lot he had to - and still has to - contend with. And almost everybody sleeps on his portrayal of Thor in particular. It's depressing to see.

RDJ saying he's got the most complex psyche is so true. Gentle and gravitas, restrained but filled with fire. I love that about Thor. I will always love that about Thor.

I genuinely hope, with Chris seemingly realizing just how far out of touch he fell whilst chasing the high that Taika Waititi's dipshit behavior allowed him to chase, that he does do better. Performs better. But I mean that more in the sense of...

Chris, should you ever happen to read even a small part of this: I hope that you fall back in love with Thor. And I hope you see how lovely he is - and has always been - specifically because of your portrayal of him. You and Thor are not replaceable. You're not boring. At no point have you ever been. And I hope for your last foray into Thor's franchise you get to feel the energy you did when you first put on the costume in the first place. When the costume came on, and it felt like it just fit, and you were transformed into the character entirely. I hope your final goodbye to Thor is filled with all of the love that you first welcomed his part to play with; for you and for all of us.

– and sappiness aside, genuinely, I really do hope that Thor 5 can be a film that Chris feels proud to be a part of. A note he's proud to end on. He deserves it; we all do.

[valentinerose529]

Two things I wanna know! (feel free to ignore obviously ^^ )

What are your top 5 favorite characters and why are they your favorite? Could be current favorites, favorites over the years that you still like, favorites in general, etc. Also any media

And/or gimme 1-5 of your ocs - whether they're your favorite, most recent, the one you've been having fun with recently, etc. Tell me some fun facts about them, and why you picked them!

Hope you're having a great day/night - and remember to stay hydrated!

Yes, my day has been lovely so far, and I hope yours has been the same! (Had to take a drink of water when I read this. Ahem.)

Oh boy, I can only pick five? I have been reading since toddlerhood and I have the personal library to show for it. But alright, let's see if I can narrow this down! Buckle up, this got a little long, but technically it's only one paragraph for each character.

Characters I like:

1. Merlin from BBC Merlin has to be one of the top Guys Of All Time. He's fascinating as a character because he sets his entire life on fire one brick at a time. He destroys himself and every chance he has to make things right because he's so desperate to do the right thing by destiny he actually creates his own downfall. I could study that show for ages and how it managed to do exactly the opposite of what it set out to do. I think it's helped by the fact that the actor cast did such an impeccable job carrying that character for like five solid years real-time through that entire story.

2. Halt from The Ranger's Apprentice, both because he's a gruff grumpy asshole and chaos-causer with a secret soft side, but also because you learn that despite being a nobleman by birth his name is really just Halt. He didn't pick it for himself or anything, everyone else in the family had normal names, no as far as we know his parents looked at their firstborn and decided to name him Halt. But I also love him as character because despite all of the shadowy gloom and doom and his introversion, this man does love everyone around him. He literally committed treason to get himself kicked out of his greater responsibilities so he could go rescue his apprentice from the far side of a war. He was fully ready to be banished forever from his kingdom and throw his whole life away so long as he got his apprentice back safely to the kingdom. Best dad ever. (And I say with no hesitation that when I read these books as a youngster I absolutely wanted to be a ranger and that's probably why I'm still trying to be a woodsman today. Still working on the "perfect aim" and "invisibility" parts, but hey, I have a cool-ass cabin in the woods.)

3. I think Ender from the Ender's Game series deserves a mention. Loved him in the movies (loved his sister too, actually--take a guess where I got my name!) but the books did something to me. The books make no effort to present the child soldiers as something good or desirable. Ender is eight years old and he commits a genocide because he thinks it's a game and the adults applaud him. His older brother is a psychopath and Ender is expected to pick and choose which of his brother's traits he himself should emulate. Ender is violent and cold and calculating, but at the same time (at the age of six!!) he learns to strive for kindness. He dedicates the rest of his life to what may be an impossible task, but he cannot stop until he rights the horrific wrong he has committed to the Formics. Regardless of whether humanity was justified in their reaction to the alien race that made the first attempt at eradicating our species, the way the story zooms in and focuses on the actual children involved, the way it continues to follow the story from all different angles before and after Ender's victory, is what makes him and any character from the story an incredible character.

4. Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon! Dragons are a core staple of my childhood and the stories I love today. (If you zoomed in on me like Riley from Inside Out, I bet you'd find a dragon island or a fantasy island or something in there.) Hiccup's such a fun guy, both the book and movie versions! I didn't get to finish all the books as a kid cause my library was out of the later ones, but I really like them both as characters. Each story is told for a different audience and so Hiccup changes between them, but overall the core of both stories is the bond between Hiccup and Toothless and the overall love that the humans have for their dragons that saves the day. That's great. (Also, movie Hiccup is cute and he was probably a movie crush when I was younger. No, actually, he still is.)

5. Sophie and Agatha from The School For Good and Evil. (Yes that's two, but they're a pair, do not separate them.) Sophie is so fun as a character! The whole thing about the two girls is that they're challenging fate in a way literally nobody else in a fairy-tale world can consider doing! And Sophie is forced into the villain's role. And yes, she does have several qualities that do match up better with villainy than heroism, but how much of that is free will and how much of that is her being forced into it by the Narrator? But despite all that, despite the fact the two are soulmates (ignore the author, I won't forgive him for the book three plot twist. Eugh) and literally destined to be mortal enemies, Agatha never gives up on Sophie entirely. She's always holding out hope that her dearest friend is still there. That series probably did something to me as a kid, and not only because they're both drawn so beautifully on the first-edition covers. I appreciate women greatly. (I just found out there's a book I haven't read yet, so if that contradicts anything I said here, don't tell me lmao.)

I've been writing forever and because I'm so inconsistent with my storytelling methods, a lot of my characters from old projects have been repurposed into new characters (Cori and Ixora, for example, bear some resemblance to an extremely old duo from a story my ten-year-old self never finished). As a result, here's my favorite OCs that have been rounded out the most and have stories I really want to finish writing:

1. My favorite little guy just has to be Ixora! He started out as a fandom oc, and I've never been able to really shake the "Icarus" allusion. But really, I don't want to! He's a normal dude except for the magical bird wings, and he just wants to be kind and help people and be himself, but I can't do that, I have to throw him into situations in which he has to sacrifice that gentleness and become something vicious. He hasn't been able to escape the plot since we were both seventeen years old and now he's 24 and still suffering at my hands. But I keep coming back to him and his story and trying to tell it because I want him to do what's right and I want him to be able to save the day with the power of friendship and kindness. That's the kind of story I want to tell for him.

2. Next up is Mia! She's my silly sweetheart baby and I love her forever. I may have protected a little too strongly on her which is why she's twice as neurodivergent. But I love her as a character because unlike with Ixora, I don't actually force her into situations where she really has to betray her morals and her beliefs. Yes, she ends up in situations where she's scared and lost and struggles to do what's right, but overall her story is about genuinely being kind and gentle and she isn't punished by the narrative for that. The people around her are older and harsher and they recognize that, and they look out for this kid even in the worst and bloodiest situations and because they all care for her it's why they manage to succeed.

3. Following this theme of people who want to be kind and gentle, my newer dude Cassio has been fun to work with! (Name pending) He's a magical healer in a fantasy world where due to his social status and physical location, it was the logical choice for him to learn how to fight and become part of a defensive team. But that's not what he wants, deep down he doesn't want to be a fighter and he wants to be able to use his healing power for good, but he also wants to be selfish and run away from responsibility with his responsible boyfriend and go explore. I created him because I wanted to explore the kind of protagonist that isn't suited for his grand adventure at all, but he does it anyways because it's the right thing to do and if he waits for someone better to come along then he'll have doomed his entire city. And in the end, he'll end up getting that grand adventure after all!

4. Aiden has been another longtime oc, and he's been an experiment for me. See, what makes him unique is the potent regeneration ability that runs in his family, strong enough to make him not age and to even survive death. As a result, he's over two hundred years old, he suffers a lot, and he's sorta lost touch with how to be a normal person. And listen, I have so much fun writing him! Both in working out the limits of what his regenerative powers do to him both physically and mentally, and in working out how his age and experience makes him function on a fundamentally different level than anyone around him. He loves his family to bits, because he's seen multiple generations grow up and old around him. (He's a token weird uncle, but he's a staple of the family.) He's genuinely a curious and friendly guy, but he just can't connect with people the same way because he cannot live and fear and die the way they do. Death is just a painful week for him.

5. Another pair here, but Cori and Lyja are really fun to write and explore their stories. Technically they're not involved with each other's stories a lot as I've been reworking my plot and timeline a whole lot, (Cori belongs to Ixora's story and is the tragic antagonist in many versions of it) but they were designed to be foils to each other. Both of them are otherwise normal individuals that are saddled with a truly dangerous level of magical power that they struggle with, but they react differently in their settings. In their world, the color blue is a negative one (some dangerous species tend to be very blue-colored, and the social stigma arose from that) and both of them have very blue designs physically that are natural coloring, but where Lyja tries to prove that he's not fated to be something evil just because his magic makes his appearance so blue, Cori jumps wholeheartedly into the implication that she's going to be a bad person because she has a bluejay's blue feather patterns on her wings. They both struggle so much with the perceptions their world has about them, but they respond in primarily different ways and the other one represents something that each one of them is deep down scared to be. Lyja wants to blend in and avoid extra notice so he can find goodness in small things, Cori wants to be recognized as something worthwhile whether that's something goodly or terrifying.

Thank you for asking! This was really fun to think about. I always say Ixora is probably my favorite long-standing oc that hasn't been majorly repurposed or abandoned, but actually sitting down and deciding what characters I like from other stories that aren't mine was something I don't do as much and it was really fun to think about.

[noirineverysense]

On the subject of fandom racism and its wider implications of white supremacy

Some racists take on people of colour who call out racism by claiming that we should just focus "on the real world" and not to bring "activism" to places of fandom where people "just want to have fun".

Now, just to be clear, fandom racism is an important topic to tackle (and is indeed racism and therefore negatively impacts the lives of people of colour) but the racism that takes root is not unique to it. Entertainment has long been an excuse racists use to exclude black and brown people. That "people just want to have fun" is a common trick white people use to do this. "People" is a term deliberately used to mean white people, excluding POC, and "fun" to imply thar since white people are having fun, whats the problem. An example is how white musicians excuse appropriating blackness for their music and their style.

Another excuse used to not create content for people of colour is the "I wanted to avoid stereotypes" line, often used by the hollywood entertainment industry to cast white actors. So we can see that entertainment industries and the fandoms they create are linked in having a hand in upholding white supremacy.

White fans will then explain that its not their fault that they don't create content about POC because of the lack of representation in hollywood and other entertainment industries, but deliberately not address the fact that they will ignore any POC who are in the cast, to focus on the white men. Even if the people of colour in the show are the main characters.

There is also the specific atitudes toward certain people of colour that also reflect the white supremacy of wider society. White people on tumblr may think that when they refer to Asian men (that they see in TV shows or in bands) as their "uwu babies" or act as if they have no agency, that they were unique in this. But this isn't true and it is instead a response by white, especially American, society to the "threat of Asian men" and reflective of sinophobia.

Similarly, they might think they were unique in ignoring the struggles or having low empathy for black people, but white people have shown that they have less empathy for black people and their pain compared to white people and more likely to convict black people as a result.

So when you say, you don't see this as being a problem, it shows that we can't trust you. That you can't reflect on the biases you have, conscious or not, and that these may impact any POC that you meet irl, and definitely those you engage with online. You may think you're special in your focus of white men, but don't stop to think that this is exactly the kind of people society prioritises. You have an obvious lack of empathy for black people, and can't treat people of colour in your fandoms the same as white people, so what makes you think you do it in real life?

Here's a link to another post about fandom racism. And an article about the subject.

Anti-racism is an active process, your tired excuses don't work anymore here. Start working on yourself instead.

[spicybylerpolls]

i'm still laughing at that one anon's post 'have we gone back in time? is this an evangelical youth group? is this catholic school? are we mormons?'

hahhahhahaha! the cadence, the rhythm of the sentences: pure poetic comedy. stand up gold.

special mention to mormon suzie - did she sniff out byler? special mention also to finn wolfhard's catholic school upbringing, because that sure brings some spice to his whole Thing, and surely mike's Thing too.

so I wanted to add on that i think much of this fear of byler x sex is about control. a large amount of young byler fans on here are swifties. now, t swift is v popular with young people, but many of her lyrics are also highly sexual. she's so huge that i think there must be a huge proportion of young fans who choose to ignore her spicy lyrics and just dream romantically instead. i mean, as a kid, i used to just accept all the boy band gyrations and the very suggestive lyrics. they meant nothing to me yet, so i just sang and moved on.

am i saying all vanilla bylers are swifties? not at all. im saying that there may well be a large proportion of bylers who are still teens, or who grew up WITH these actors, and are coming to terms with their own sexuality, and therefore experiencing shame, just like mike and will. so they lash out.

after all, coming of age is a time of losing control. and if you view adults/people more settled than yourself who are happily comfortable with their sexuality, and you aren't, well... many people would get defensive.

and after all, sex itself is about ceding control. not necessarily losing control - although that can be fun too - but certainly feeling free enough to let go. and that's something you have to learn.

if this hasnt been encouraged in your life, and a comfort show that has been 'yours' for years is starting to pull away from you... well i can see where the fear comes from. it's manifesting as hate towards us proud spicy bylers, but it's fear.

i'm not condoning it, merely trying to understand. tbh, i love this blog and this side of byler tumblr so much that it doesnt bother me anymore. i just find it all fascinating, and cannot wait for s5. bring on spicy byler for real! its gonna be surreal after so long spent fantasising

hehe

very interesting points! I agree that fear may be a very big part of it for some! It's "safer" in some respects to just view Byler and these characters in a romantic light instead of considering the spicier side of things and how that might intersect with the show's themes. A lot of people almost seem to believe that sex or even exploring Mike and Will's sexual attraction for each other would corrupt the purity of the ship, which is obviously untrue. But if people can't see those two sides as linked, it does make sense why they'd get defensive. Raw sexuality can absolutely be scary and uncertain and messy for sure.

[thefirstknife]

I think a lot of what's happening is that many players are legitimately burning out because of the way bungie models the game (people don't call it FOMO: the game for no reason, there's definitely a truth to that feeling), increasing prices putting further strains on wallets as people continue to struggle financially (getting priced out of a beloved hobby is painful), and various genuine harmful choices over the life of the series, etc. but all of that's being co-opted by bad faith actors who are looking for a reason to tear Bungie down--I think you're at least partially right that there's a lot of anti-LGBTQIA+ people targeting them for being visible allies (and members of our various communities!) and just just hollow rainbow capitalists. And there's probably people who just want to stir up drama because they find it fun. So they're all distorting the actual complaints and making it so hard to have a frank discussion about good and bad practices. The real stuff gets drowned out and people tired of the BS shut down genuine complaints without realizing because it's hard to sort through it all. I think the technical term for the current situation is "clusterfuck"

For real. Burnout is a real problem that very few people recognise and often they just refuse to recognise it when it hits them personally. And like, burnout isn't just "I'm a little bored of this," continuous burnout can lead to actual health problems.

I always tell people that if you log into a game and you're not feeling it, you're only there to mark a checklist and you're annoyed by every moment spent playing, please take a break. FOMO stuff is also a real issue, but I also always tell people to just try and think about it from a broader perspective. Will you miss out on stuff? Probably. Will this matter to you, truly, if you have no interest in the game anymore? Like, if you think about it, missing out on content from a game that doesn't bring you joy should not be that big of a deal. You're not enjoying it anyway, so who cares if you miss things that you don't enjoy?

FOMO design is really awful and it's unfortunately everywhere and it takes so much energy to get yourself out of thinking that everything around you is super urgent and you have to latch onto it NOW or else.... In truth, this is just a sneaky method to keep people hooked. It's not real, you're not really missing out on anything. Even if you are, I promise that it's better to "miss out" than fall into burnout. You're the only one who can break your own FOMO.

A lot of gamers don't get it and don't even try to get it and actually get super defensive when you tell them that they're exhibiting symptoms of burnout. This is also another way that people try to deflect criticism. Sometimes someone will incessantly shit on a video game and you'll tell them "you have burnout bro, you need to take a break for your own sake" and they'll insist that you're just saying that because you're bootlicking a company or whatever.

On the other hand, sometimes you will criticise something legitimate and people will try to shut you down with claims that you're just burned out. Differentiating between these two is super difficult, especially when the community is acting like the Destiny community is acting like now. As you said, we're dealing with a clusterfuck. There's legitimately burned out people hateplaying the game who refuse to recognise it and there's people who want to talk about genuine problems and the former are making this an incredibly difficult conversation to have.

Two other related asks under:

It's utterly bizarre. The cynicism is so high that people are literally ignoring easily verifiable facts they can find with one google click away because it means they get to join their pitchforks against Bungie. And like, you can hate a company all you want but at least hate the real things they've done? The Bungie Foundation is legitimate work that helps people all over the world. This one aint' it chief.

This is the reddit thread where people were having a meltdown over the post about the foundation stuff for Bungie Day to the point that a moderator had to make a pinned post about this and there's one other most upvoted post about it just beneath. A lot of the shitty comments have been deleted and some are still there but downvoted, but people for real showed up to say crap about Bungie and lie on a call for charity.

It happened on twitter too (link if you're brave enough to go into replies and quote tweets, I don't recommend it), because of course it did. People are largely upset that some of the bigger goals have an emblem and shader as a reward and now they're calling it the "100k $ shader." And like. It's not for you. You don't need these two items. They're not here for you to buy. They're here to incentivise donations to charity. Bungie isn't getting rich from this; they will literally not see this money. It's going to charity.

I could bet my entire ass that the same people crying about this shader being unobtainable (we don't even know what it looks like btw) are the same people who are standing by their favourite streamer when they say that some in-game activities and rewards shouldn't be obtainable to the majority of the players. It's baby behaviour, and worse now because the post about Bungie announcing a charity is littered with comments from ghouls who think that THIS is the right moment to stick it to the big corpos (and ask to "fix servers").

LMAO! Literally though. I, unfortunately, play a Blizzard game and like. I'm sorry but you will not convince me that Destiny has worse monetisation than Overwatch. Like, maybe you can convince people who don't play anything else, but I do.

And honestly, if some other game is better to someone? Please feel free to play that then. I do my absolute best to limit the amount of money I will ever again give Blizzard to as close to 0 as possible, but if Blizzard's monetisation and morals are fine to you, go wild I guess. Applies to any other company for that matter. I personally find it baffling that we've spent YEARS learning about all the ways Activision is actually being led by demons from hell and that they deal with lawsuits every few months and treat their employees like crap, but we're totally fine hyping up Diablo 4 (and I guess we forgot all controversies from before about Diablo 3 and Diablo Immortal and everything). But to each their own. I'm not on Diablo twitter posting about this. It's not my problem. Hell, I'm not even engaging with Overwatch stuff because I know that I will just be negative about every aspect of it, even though I'm still playing here and there. I disagree with what they're doing so I play less and don't buy stuff and then I'm not angry about a video game every day of my life. Life hack.