#ignorant-fuck-lama

[evilminji]

The Anti-Ecto Acts... could literally start WW3

I am sitting here, contemplating China. The country. Literally one of THE OLDEST countries. With a truely massive population. And... I will admit my ignorance. But from what I have heard? They are big on honoring the Dead.

Their Dead.

The Dead of China. Hundreds of millions of souls. Which, statistically, would mean the average human ghost has a good chance to come from the region. And they are not alone.

Again, my ignorance curses me, but if my general knowledge is to be believed? It is a common practice in Asianic Countries. Oh sure, they won't argue there might be BAD ghosts. But that's to be expected! There are bad PEOPLE! They die.

They have monks and priests for such things. Specialists. Ancient problem, tried and true solutions. They move on and have lunch, consider what options there are for dinner. Business of the day and all that.

But THEN.

Fanatics from the West. Painting themselves as Men Of Science, not only dare to play god, but tear open a hole to THE AFTERLIFE? And start ATTACKING indiscriminately? They stand before an international stage and spew clearly bigoted pseudoscience, to justify their genocide, while ALSO letting God's and demons run roughshod over the WORLD, just so they can try to convince everyone they have the right to MURDER YOUR ANCESTORS?

They OPENED THAT GATE! They LET THEM OUT! There is a difference, culturally, for many of your countries between the soul of a dead man (powers be damned) and a SPIRIT OF LIVING STORMS.

You are not IDIOTS. Tigers are dangerous. Wolves are dangerous. But someone walking into a crowded mall and releasing frightened wild animals DOES NOT mean we go into the wilds and start killing! We charge the madmen you attacked innocent people!

The fact that tigers and wolves are dangerous IS NOT NEW. The fact that the souls of the dead are dangerous is ALSO not new! It is not malicious. It is INHERENT. A state of being. That is why they are not encouraged to linger! We love them, but this world is not built for them. It is fragile and barren, built for the living.

But dear sweet FUCK, the WROTH.

How? Many countries EXACTLY. How many religions? SPECIFICALLY honor and protect the dead. Declare in no uncertain terms, the SANCTITY of the soul?

How many people have LOST somebody? A friend, a lover, a CHILD.

And in one breath you give them hope then THREATEN it? "They may still be out there... we are going to brutally torture them to death. Because your loved ones are animals to us."

The UN would have the SINGLE most ugly, barely contained, riot imaginable. Spiritual Leaders would be tearing CHUNKS out of the US. The Pope, the Dalai Lama, you name it. You can NOT invade THE AFTERLIFE and not have it IMMEDIATELY become a religious concern.

Not to mention the international SAFETY concern. One countries actions? Unleashing beings that can effect the GLOBAL ECOSYSTEM? The ENTIRE planets weather? Plunged EVERYONE into Eternal Sleep??! How can that not be considered DILBERATE after the first one!

Your grand idea is to ANTAGONIZE them? Make MORE of them come through??

"Kill death itself". You fanatical NUTJOBS! That's not even a NEW hypothetical! That ends HORRIFICLY for literally EVERYONE. Eternal starvation, suffocation, crushing, and worse! We suck the planet dry, over populate so horrifically we end up BURIED UNDER OUR OWN CHILDREN, and suffer FOREVER without the release of death!

You fucking MORONS! Eternal life is a well known CURSE!

Their science is shaky at best, hardly peer reviewed. DEEPLY unethical. And clearly dangerous! Radioactive!!! In a population center?! How many innocent people have been exposed!?

And if the Ghost are reaching OUT? Imagine meeting long dead countrymen, who come to you fearing for their very SOULS. Who have lived in peace. Unknown to you, for CENTURIES. Who beg you, in YOUR native tounge, to help. Talks of people disappearing. Fear and desperation.

This is not to say world leaders are great and benevolent figures, free of greed or sin. Nor their governments. But it is quite another thing entirely, when they talk... and all you can think is "you are talking about my dead father. My late wife. My deceased son."

When they spew their HATE. And back hand your loved ones by doing so.

What powerful person has not lost SOMEBODY.

All this? And I have not even TOUCHED on the shit storm DC would add on top. The Drama? The IMMEDIATE near certain SMITING? You want to MURDER Superman's FAMILY??? I'd say pick a god and pray, but you've already made enemy of ALL of them.

So... good luck and get fucked?

@hdgnj @the-witchhunter @stealingyourbones @nerdpoe

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I'm very definitively positive on clone/Jedi relationships, both platonic and romantic.

I'm going to hit the biologically children thing first because like... no, they're not. If you want to go that route, then you have to count Grogu as a middle aged adult because he's 50 years old even though his official name for a while was literally "The Child" and he's definitely treated like a child in the narrative more often than he isn't. Jango Fett was (as far as I'm aware) a regular human. The clones, the altered ones at least (so not Omega or Boba), are almost an entirely different species. They LOOK human, but they've been engineered to be different from the baseline human they were based off of to the point that they aren't necessarily all that similar to a regular human beyond cosmetics. So if you don't view them as "fucked up humans who should be treated like children because they're technically only 10 years old" and instead view them as "subspecies of human that reaches maturity around 9 years old", then it's a lot harder to view them as children.

I think that it's fair to claim that the clones are SHELTERED and likely fairly ignorant and naive about a lot of things in the world due to their upbringing, sure, but that doesn't make them children. They're also relatively young regardless of whether you'd consider them children or not, the youngest ones we know about are sent out to war at what would be the equivalent of about 20 years old and they're only around 26ish by the time the war ENDS. So even accounting for the accelerated aging, they're still pretty young and there's going to be a lot about the galaxy and how to live in it that would be new to them. Their understanding of how relationships work is going to be skewed given everything we know about their childhoods and the way the Kaminoans canonically seem to view them.

So I think that the Jedi and clones would likely often end up in a sort of mentor/mentee relationship, especially in the beginning. We see this most strongly with Yoda and the three Coruscant Guard characters and Plo Koon with the three 104th characters in the first four episodes of season 1, as well as with Shaak Ti and Fives and Echo during the Clone Cadets episode of season 3. The Jedi are natural teachers and I think they'd start to get to know these young men who are so devastatingly intelligent but who were only ever taught about how to fight a war and they'd immediately take the opportunity to help guide the clones towards figuring out who they are and who they want to be. We're pretty much told that this is true point blank when I believe it's Nala Se or Lama Su speaks to Dooku during season 6 and they say that the Jedi have been encouraging individuality in the clones. Fives says that the Jedi respect the clones and calls the Jedi their best friends at two separate points in the narrative. The Jedi literally use their OWN PHILOSOPHIES to help the clones learn what it means to be PEOPLE and to embrace that for themselves.

The relationship between the Jedi and the clones is honestly one of the most beautiful and heartwrenching dynamics in the entirety of Star Wars to me. Their destinies are entwined irrevocably and they are each the others' doom and salvation all at once. The Jedi help the clones discover who they are, but they're also going to end up being the reason the clones lose all sense of themselves. The clones are a light in the dark for the Jedi during the war, but they're also going to be the weapon that helps plunge the entire world into darkness by eliminating the Jedi. These two groups that are SO similar in so many ways but for vastly different reasons who are thrown together by forces beyond either of their control and learn to understand each other better than anyone else ever has and love and trust each other implicitly for it and that love and trust is then used to destroy them both. It's absolutely devastating and really gets me in those feels.

As far as romantic ships, I sort-of said my piece on the age thing earlier, but I honestly find that fussing about characters' ages in Star Wars is more ridiculous than it usually is. These characters are literally ALIENS and it's a universe where human characters who are twelve years old are allowed to hold office. I have my personal preferences in terms of clone/Jedi ships, but I am a very ship and let ship sort of person (yes, even with the ships I DESPISE), so I'm not going to make a big deal out of clone/Jedi ships. I also like clone/clone ships which tons of people find problematic for other reasons, so whatever.

I HAVE seen the superior/subordinate thing get addressed in clone/Jedi fics before. Sometimes it ends in the characters deciding to wait until after the war and when the clones are given rights and official citizenship status or something before they begin a romantic relationship, and sometimes it ends in the characters recognizing that a lot of the rules shouldn't really matter when they're at war and they could die literally any day and they deserve to find happiness and pleasure where they can find it so long as they work to ensure that this doesn't impact their respective responsibilities. Again though, this is a space fantasy and absolutely nobody on the writing staff for The Clone Wars was taking the structure and internal dynamics of this fantasy military particularly seriously, so I'm not sure why I or anyone else should have to if they don't want to.

So yeah, I love relationships between the clones and Jedi, it's probably my favorite dynamic in the whole franchise, regardless of whether it's platonic or romantic.

[ur-so-mine]

Minecraft || (5)

(part 5)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 |part 6

Dick : can we eat before going? My hunger is at 2 . *Stomach growling*

Jason, rolling his eyes: yeah sure I guess. Come with me .

Damian: is there any vegetarian option?

Tim: seriously ?

Damian: no one asked you anything, idiot.

After eating:

Dick, burping while holding his stomach: I don't think I can move now.

Damian: And it's already night. Also Grayson stop burping near my face *disgusted*

Jason: yeah- *gets hit* what the- *looks down to see a baby zombie* *screams like a girl*

Dick , gets scared hearing Jason scream: What happened? * Sees Jason running away*

Tim : Can't you see the zombie running behind Jason?

Damian, who ran behind the zombie with his diamond sharpness 5 enchanted sword: Todd stop running! If you stop he will stop too!

Jason : mother fucker I can't risk it!!

Dick : Jason just fucking stoppp!

Tim, mutters underneath his breath : I hate this.*sigh*

One zombie baby dieing later :

Jason, panting : what the fuck just happened?

Dick : i also don't know.

Tim : wow Jason I can't believe you got scared because of a baby zombie * laughing*

Jason: Shut up replacement!

Tim : 🙄

Damian: why don't you give us a tour Todd?

Dick , agreeing: yeah, he is right.

Tim: I am also curious.

Jason: yeah , fine come with me .* Sighs*

The three boys then follow their brother. As Jason takes them to show his farm first . When they reach the farm. They see 10 traders captive and 10 lamas.

Dick , goes closer to see the tags on the lamas: who , are, you *name of the first three lamas*

Damian : Joe MaMa ? * reads the last two lamas.

At that point Tim was rolling on the floor while holding his stomach.

Jason: ..... .... .... Let's go somewhere else!.

Damian : yeah whats so ever.

After getting the tour, they sleep. The next day:

Dick , gaging: Eww little wing your morning breath smells ew

Damian , remembering last night : you probably didn't smell drakes fart than if you think todds breath is bad.

Tim, rolling his eyes : shut up gremlin!

Jason: enough! Let's just go ! You guys are making me want to die again. *sighs*

After reaching Y/n s house:

Jason : is that her house?

Damian: yeah.

Dick: woah so big!

Tim : did she made it herself?

Damian: yeah. I made the first floor only but she made the rest .

Jason, pointing : look there is a notice broad.

Tim: go then what are you waiting for? *Steps forward* * falls into a cave*

Jason, feed up: you deserve to be there .

Tim, from the cave : heyyyy! Get me out! I don't have any tools!!

Damian,face palming: * throws him a wooden piaxe*

Jason, to Tim : we are going forward replacement come fast!

Dick : I won't be available here . I am going to Tim's house. * Reading the broad*

Tim, who came from the cave with like 7 arrows says : what? Seriously? All that hard work for nothing!?

Jason , laughing: even Minecraft doesn't want you to be happy.

Damian, regretting his life decisions: why did I even come with y'all ? I better off mining my ass off .

Dick , tired : let's go to Tim's house again I guess?

Jason: 😂👍

Damian:😒👍

Tim :🥹👍

Notes • I hope you liked this and English isn't my first language so please ignore the mistakes and don't forget to like ^⁠_⁠^✨ .part 6 (last part) will come soon .

[imrockbottom]

Fanfic Rec List

Some of the fics I've loved most since the start of the year and my 2024 Fanfic Reading Challenge.

The Reanimator of Rosemerrow

by Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness (@cap-sweet-and-salty-sadness); Geraskier, E, 34855 words

In 1819, Jaskier accidentally buys an old abandoned inn in the middle of nowhere, England. Haunted, as if this mountain of dust and debris wasn't already enough of a problem. At least he has a handsome carpenter to help him renovate it.

briar & bone

by griesly, inflomora and Lama; Steddie, E, 44590 words

Ten years ago, jaded rock star Eddie Munson made a terrible mistake. Cursed by a fae to take a hideous, bestial form, he retreats from the world into a mansion in the middle of nowhere, while the curse begins to spread. Stranded in a snowstorm after a car accident, Steve Harrington is forced to seek shelter in the house every child in Hawkins knows and fears. What he finds inside will change the course of his life - and the monster within.

That Which Dwells At Ash Manor

by frankie_31, Steter, E, 23392 words

After agreeing to a marriage of convenience to save Peter Hale's reputation and his own father's coffers, Stiles finds himself Lord of Hale Manor. He is met by a strange collection of folk within the gloomy manor and a widowed omega who wants little to do with him. Stiles is stranded in a trap of his own making, a prisoner to the peculiar, storm-razed lands of the Hale estate and to the frightening manor within which something secret and dark lies. Stiles navigates the turbulent family within the manor while chasing the ghosts that haunt it's halls. Love is not anything he expected to find in his dark, vicious omega and Stiles begins to think he never will.

Custom Made

by stfustucky (@stfustucky); Geraskier, E, 122787 words

Jaskier was kidnapped by Cat witchers, mutated and trained into the perfect sex slave. He comes into Geralt's possession completely by accident and Geralt swears that he would never take advantage of Jaskier that way... except that somewhere in the midst of all the mutations done to him, Jaskier's body has stopped craving sex and starts needing it. When he begs that beautifully, when he smells that tantalizing, there's really no choice but for Geralt to give Jaskier everything he wants.

Shackles

by LadyInStarlight; Radiodust, E, 44214 words

Angel is mortified when Charlie approaches him and suggests that maybe his…flirtations…are making Alastor uncomfortable. Naturally, he stops. After all, there’s nothing more embarrassing than chasing a man who isn’t all that into you. Alastor doesn’t take kindly to being ignored. Smut ensues.

Laufey's Mate/ Ice Maiden/ Laufey's Bride (It wound up with three titles)

by Icemaidenstory; Laufey/Loki, E, 135371 words

Loki was born right at the end of the war and was given to Laufey as his betrothed. That's why he is marked with Laufey's family scars, it was a part of the ceremony. The final stage of their marriage is the consummation which would have happened when Loki came of age. Then Odin showed up, totally misread the scars and took Loki away. Fast forward to the events of the movie, only this time Laufrey sees Loki get grabbed and turn blue. He realises what has happened and grabs Loki off the battlefield to claim him before Thor figures out what is going on.

Dereliktion

by AMidnightDreary; Frostiron, E, 203592 words

When the second prince buys him as his personal pleasure slave, Tony is quite certain that he's fucked. It goes both better and worse than he expects.

Echo

by ravenbringslight (@kingthunder); Geraskier, E, 29599 words

Jaskier loses his voice the morning after a concert. As he and Geralt find new ways to fill the silence between them, they realize it isn't only Jaskier's voice that's been lost—and getting it back will bring them closer than they've ever been before.

5 Times Dream Was a Complete Weirdo About Wanting Intimate Contact + 1 Time He Actually Asks Like An Adult

by YarvaDaemonicusEtrigan; Dreamling, E, 16357 words

Dream has noticed that Hob likes to absently play with fidget/sensory toys. Dream would like to be played with too. Dream is bad at articulating his wants and needs. Things get stupid, but fortunately, Hob is very indulgent and open minded. In other words; this is total crack fic about Dream manifesting different stim toys as his junk so Hob will touch him. Enjoy the madness.

[dashitsxx]

NEW ANNOUNCEMENT GRR

Pics for attention.

Hello everyone! There are a lot of people that have reached out to me, however I am unable to donate them unfortunately due to my status of living. But I would like to use my blog as a way for the people who are in need of help especially that the grave situation they are in, to be a safe place for them to reach out to me and use my blog to serve as their voices and hopes.

I know most of you will perceive my help as useless, or feeling righteous, or just does nothing at all. I want all of you to know I never intended for my help to be like that. I am not doing this for myslf, I am doing it for Palestinians and their families. They are enduring, sacrificing, and suffering a lot without security and safety. Not even the fucking foreign governments are giving that assurance to them, but still chose to support the one who is violating human rights and killing innocents indiscriminately. What I am doing is also part of a global protest against Israeli actions and a global support for Palestine and Palestinians.

Please, please if you can donate, please do so. All the links will be posted below. If not, reblog this post, so it may reach more audiences, giving these individuals and family a chance for them to be safe and sound. Each of your share will certainly be a huge help for these families.

Stop and don't ignore those who are reaching out for help. Moreover, please don't hesitate. Thank you for your time. Keep boycotting.

FREE PALESTINE.

The links for donations:

Mohammed and family: https://gofund.me/fd1faea2

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/mohammedswierh2?source=share

Hamdi and family: https://gofund.me/4de94fec

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/hamdialisstuff?source=share

Yaser and family: https://gofund.me/e7c7528a

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/yasermohammad?source=share

Mahmoud and family: https://gofund.me/31c5cbe3

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/mahmoudayyad?source=share

Mahmod and family: https://gofund.me/463cbf01

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/mahmoudjsy?source=share

Ysra and Mariam: https://gofund.me/a8383601

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/mariam2013y?source=share

Asma and family: https://www.gofundme.com/f/8wewmz-help-asmaa-to-continue-school-outside-of-gaza

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/asmaamajed2?source=share

Fidaa and family: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-fidaa-and-her-children

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/fidaa-family2?source=share

Mai and family: https://www.gofundme.com/f/save-nour-and-her-family-from-war-help-them-escape

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/noor678?source=share

Youssef and family: https://gofund.me/c678ceb6

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/yousef1234567?source=share

Marah and family: https://gofund.me/19e0f69f

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/freepaleatine95

Ahmed and family: https://gofund.me/315b0b3c

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/ahmedomar3

Abdallah and family: https://gogetfunding.com/your-help-is-the-only-hope-to-save-abdallah-his-family-from-genocide/

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/abdallahblog0

Haya Nahed and family: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-save-the-lives-of-my-family-in-gaza

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/hayanahed

Mahmoud and family: https://gofund.me/078a1f63

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/mahmoud2002gaza

Sahar and family: https://gofund.me/fcf7e6f6

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/soperfectionbasement

Eman and family: https://gofund.me/77751696

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/emanfamily3

Falestine and family: https://gofund.me/7e05a237

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/yousef-falestinef

Ahmad and family: https://gofund.me/5c4472cd

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/ahmadshamia

Hazem and family: https://www.gofundme.com/f/urgent-help-needed-a-journey-from-gaza-to-safety

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/hazem-suhail

Lama and Mohammed: https://gofund.me/cd29b3ea

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/lamahourani7

Ola and family: https://gofund.me/f9b4c293

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/abedallhferwanagaza & https://www.tumblr.com/olaferwana

Ayoush and family: gofund.me/87a0fa9f

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/ayoosh-gaza

Rania family: https://gofund.me/1400c60c

Profile: https://www.tumblr.com/saveomarfamily

[dalishthunder]

A Game of Go

Chapter 7: Helen of Troy

[AO3 Link]

"We must try to develop greater perspective, looking at situations from all angles. Usually when we face problems, we look at them from our own point of view. We even sometimes deliberately ignore other aspects of a situation. This often leads to negative consequences. However, it is very important for us to have a broader perspective. We must come to realize that others are also part of our society. We can think of our society as a body, with arms and legs as parts of it. Of course, the arm is different from the leg; however, if something happens to the foot, the hand should reach down to help. Similarly, when something is wrong within our society, we must help."

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

You picked listlessly at the protein bar in your hand, face filled with an emotion Ramattra couldn’t quite place.

Despondence perhaps?

Eventually you put it down on the desk, only partially eaten, with a sigh.

“Is something the matter?” He asked after a moment, placing his tools on the work bench.

You gave him a small smile and shook your head, you had for the past several days worn a similar expression… and each time he asked if anything was wrong, you would shake your head with a downright doleful smile.

“I’m fine,” You said, though your voice betrayed you.

“Do not lie to me.” Perhaps his voice was a touch sterner than it needed to be, but he had grown tired of this game; He was not going to hem and haw around an issue he could see, but could not identify.

You immediately snapped to attention, a startled look on your face.

At least you were no longer downcast.

“It’s fine, really. It’s nothing you need to worry about,” You stammered, occupying your hands with the protein bar, picking and twisting.

“I am not worried, I am… concerned. I cannot remedy something if you do not articulate what troubles you.”

You gave him a sheepish smile, “I think the lack of sunlight is starting to affect me.”

He tilted his head, “I’m afraid I do not understand.”

“We actually need sunlight to synthesize certain vitamins in our body. Lack of sunlight can severely impact us, but I didn’t realize it would happen so quickly.”

“Humans truly are fragile,” He hadn’t intended for it to come out so callously, but as you winced, smile faltering for just a second, he felt a pang of guilt.

“Y-yeah. Just a bit.” There was more that you had to say, but you chewed on your words for a moment before continuing, “And you’re probably not going to like this, but there are certain micronutrients that human bodies need that aren’t present in protein bars. Not- not that I’m complaining, I knew going into this that I probably wouldn’t be eating the same sort of prepared foods that I was before, but I think the lack of vegetables or even a multivitamin might be fucking with my system.”

“Oh,” He hadn’t thought about that.

“Even if we can’t get any vegetables, a multivitamin and water-soluble fiber should be okay.” You quickly added.

Just another way for Talon to figure out that you were human.

Not that he wasn’t already positive that they figured it out already. They weren’t exactly known for being dullards.

“If that is what you need.” He stated simply, and you seemed to relax as though you had been preparing for some sort of battle. “Add it to our requisition forms. I’m sure it will be the easiest of the items on there to procure.”

“Thank you.” You swallowed before letting out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of your head. “I don’t know why I thought this was going to be a more difficult conversation.”

Something in him sank at your words, “I am a reasonable omnic.”

You seemed to bite your tongue at that remark, and he bristled a bit.

“I am.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t,” You raised your hands placatingly, brows furrowing. “It’s just… sometimes you don’t like my ideas, and I was worried that this would be another one of those times.”

He did not ask for your ideas.

He did not ask for your assistance.

He did not ask you to join him.

He could do this alone.

He had been doing this alone for a long time.

Ramattra stared at you for a moment, processor picking through each of your interactions, and he begrudgingly had to admit that… you weren’t completely incorrect. Since you had chosen to join his cause, he had been… less than charitable when you shared your ideas.

… Your words were not without some truth.

A pregnant pause filled the room, and you cleared your throat awkwardly, “So, um, thanks. For hearing me out this time.”

He mulled on his words, picking over them, sorting the wheat from the chaff, and after another long moment he sighed, “You said when you had first joined, ‘Follow the money. Target them, and the people will begin to rise up.’ Tell me which of those so-called ‘Hard Targets’ you deem most worthy of death and I shall bring them to their end.”

A small compromise.

Nothing that would delay his schedule, but a show of good faith.

He could see the way your hands quivered, eyes ablaze with a mixture of surprise and excitement.

“Are… are you sure?” There was a touch of horror in your voice as you spoke… you really were such a gentle creature, of course you would have your reservations, but there was steel in there as well. You could do this.

You just needed a push.

“Quite.”

You swallowed and he took a step towards you, tipping your chin up. It was a small compromise, but he still knew how difficult it must be for you. A wave of affection coursed through his processor, and found himself leaning down to touch his forehead to your own.

“Annihilation stirs at your command.”

It was impossible to miss the shiver that ran across your back, pupils dilating, blood and pulse racing under your skin. Your eyes fluttered closed after a few seconds, and you leaned into his touch, nose bumping against his faceplate.

Idly he couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have your lips pressed against him.

Probably no different from your fingertips… though the texture would be different, wouldn’t it….

After all, the texture of your skin was different on your palms than on your cheeks.

How many different textures would he have discovered on your body should you let him explore it?

“You need only direct it.”

Annihilation stirs at your command.

You need only direct it.

You looked at the photos in front of you, people all smiling with shiny, perfect, white teeth.

Today you condemn someone to their death.

No trial.

No plea.

No jury.

You were the judge. The one who held the thread of fate between your fingers, scissors in hand…. Because even if you weren’t the one pulling the trigger, you were about to commit a murder. Blood would still be on your hands, blood you could never wash off no matter how necessary it was.

You swallowed, saliva thick in your throat, lead in your stomach.

You knew the atrocities these people committed regularly, you knew the world would be a better place without each and every one of them in it.

You supposed that made it easier….

Please don’t ask me to shoot anyone.

You really should have been more specific, but this had been your idea; Take out the wealthy and influential people who were actively oppressing humans and omnics alike.

You could do this.

You could do this.

You could do this.

No you couldn’t….

Yes.

You could.

Ramattra wouldn’t take any of your ideas seriously if you couldn’t follow through on even one of them.

You weren’t pulling the trigger.

You didn’t have to look your victim in the eyes as it happened.

But it would still happen.

You let out a shaky breath. You wondered if this would get any easier. If this was how Ramattra had felt when he had first decided how to help his people….

He had been born of war and violence… did he feel at home in it?

Did he feel any remorse for his actions?

… Did that even change the way you felt about him?

You knew that he wasn’t actively trying to hurt citizens, but so much of what he was doing was… crude. Like a bowie knife being used for surgery.

And you understood that that was how he thought people would listen; How he would be able to protect his people…. But you knew people. You knew how societies operated. It was kind of your whole thing.

… Okay, maybe not your whole thing considering it wasn’t what you did for a living, but still. It was something you understood intimately.

Ramattra would listen to you.

This was the first step in that.

Annihilation stirs at your command.

You need only direct it.

You could do this.

You would do this.

Today, you killed your first man.

… History would forgive you….

… Right?

Ramattra looked over the manifests you had devised, noting that you had added some food to it. Carefully worded and hidden, but food nonetheless.

Good.

He needed you alive and well… though he shifted uncomfortably at the thought of Talon discovering you. No matter how careful he was, there would always be that possibility….

He would need to train you in the art of self defense, devise some sort of weapon for you so that even when he was not by your side, you weren’t defenseless.

He wondered how you’d take to a gun….

Though his thoughts were disturbed as you were particularly loud when you threw open the door.

“Marcus Resnick.” The first words out of your mouth as you entered the room, pulling out a tablet and placing it on the table in front of him. “Inheritor of the Resnick fortune, and responsible for the merger between Nestle Co, and The Wonderful Company, and owner of millions of acres in plantations that exploit both impoverished children and the lack of omnic rights protections in many countries. Currently responsible for the civil unrest in both the Cote d’Ivoire and Cameroon, and heavily linked to the assassination of omnic rights activists Maria Santiago and André Papillon, as well as prominent political figures in the Republic of Ecuador.”

There was steel in your voice, in your eyes, in your posture as you looked at him.

“That was… quicker than expected,” He admitted. You were a gentle creature… he thought it would have taken longer for you to deliberate on the misdeeds of others to decide who he should eliminate.

Good.

Decisiveness was a good look on you.

“Yes, well… I appreciate you taking my suggestions into consideration…. And if there is anyone other than prominent politicians who deserve death, it’s probably him. Even in nations like the United States, The Wonderful Company is allowed to use fracking waste water, as well as irradiated water, to water their produce which has led to increased birth defects and cancers in multiple areas. Operating globally, they also control Fiji water which has led to droughts on the island nation that their puppet politicians have done nothing to address for the past eighty years. Even if he gives millions to charities a year, he’s a trillionaire who would grind us all beneath his heel if given the chance.”

There was so much passion in your voice, fire in your eyes, the way the corners of your mouth turned down as you spat out this man’s sins. It was… intoxicating.

He glanced at the tablet in front of him, you’d written up a report for him. He almost wished he could smile.

How quaint.

As though your words alone were not enough of a reason for him to kill.

“Not to mention the amount of pollution his factories contribute to-”

He reached out, fingers brushing over your cheek, and you stuttered, trailing off. Your skin was so warm under his sensors.

Once upon a time, Ramattra had tried to understand the human condition… read their myths and legends and spiritual texts.

He hadn’t cared for much of them outside of their prose and poetic symbolism.

But looking at you now, hearing your voice, he… understood why Troy fell when they had taken Helen.

Why a war could be waged for one, singular person.

Ramattra did not take pleasure in killing.

Satisfaction perhaps… but not pleasure.

… But he had to admit that he would take great joy in pruning the world into something you deemed beautiful.

Life by life.

[writingforfun0714]

So I wanted to wait and let the new Bad Batch trailer sink in before posting about it.

Warnings: Spoilers, some thoughts/opinions will be critical

Alright so I don’t think it’s any secret that I don’t care for the Bad Batch. Even ignoring the horrible, incredibly RACIST clone model, the writing is mid/passable at best and not even watchable for me. Most of S1 and 2 combined is the typical ‘mission of the week’ type of story where only a few Empire-focused episodes stand out. There are also instances of ableism concerning Echo in particular (CF99 are also super dismissive of him in general—going along with that whole fucking ‘superiority over regs’ thing—seriously wtf).

Most episodes were very bland and predictable. S1 had no stakes despite its finale. By Mando/ST it’s clear that something has happened to Kamino. Didn’t really need to see a 2pt ep of the city getting wiped. Plus AZI should’ve been sacrificed. Even Ahsoka learns the lesson that you can’t save everyone in S1 when she disobeys Anakin and Admiral Yularen. TBB S2 had no character development from anyone besides a little bit for Omega (and Tech—but that was always speculated by fans since S1 and he’s dead now so it doesn’t really matter). A lot of the dialogue felt…basic. I think the only thing that TBB does well is the music. It’s really amazing and beautiful along with the smooth, crisp animation/scenery. Shame they ruined it with racist clone models, racist tones with the ‘reg’ dispute in both seasons, and being ableist and dismissive towards Echo.

Which brings me to the trailer. Oh boy. First, right off the bat I noticed how similar the trailer opening is compared to the S2 trailer. I do like that Phee is back. She did take time to grow on me but I do like her character and am curious to see where they will go with her.

It’s interesting we are seeing Crosshair back with the group so soon. Personally I do believe that is Crosshair and not just someone else wearing his armor like some think. I like the idea of Omega and Crosshair escaping early on but Omega gets recaptured/separated and taken back to Tantiss.

I’m interested in Hemlock and his backstory (is his gloved hand robotic?). I wish they’d create more interesting and unique characters like Phee and Fennec Shand instead of relying on cameos of established characters/fan-favorites like Ventress. I loved Dark Disciple and I thought it was a great ending for her.

I know it’s officially said that Ventress’ story will follow Dark Disciple but I don’t see how unless they retcon her death or pull a ‘somehow she survived’. Either way that sucks. Reminder!! DAVE FELONY DIDN’T EVEN FOLLOW REBELS FOR AHSOKA. SABINE IS NOT FORCE SENSITIVE IN REBELS. DAVE RETCONS THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING. I have no faith that they will remain loyal to DD. Anything that will be ‘canon’ will be mid at best because even Crosshair’s arc has been messy (which is due to the weird S1 ‘reset’ the characters go through. Like they totally should’ve appreciated ‘regs’ by the end of TBB arc in TCW S7–there was no need for that awkward food fight scene in S1).

I hate that this show has to rely on cameos to get the viewing numbers. Here is a list of every character cameo we’ve seen so far:

—Rex*

—Tarkin*

—Palpatine*

—The Lawquane Family

—The Syndullas/Chopper

—Nala Se/Lama Su*

—Cad Bane

—Bail Organa

—Riyo Chuchi

—Gungi

—Gregor

—Wolffe

—Cody

—Scorch

—Saw Gerrera

—Martez Sisters

—Kanan/Depa*

—Muchi/Rancor from RotJ

—Taun We/Halle Burtoni

—Ventress

*I consider these important/relevant cameos and am not bothered by them like the others*

What a list right? I might even be missing one. These were just off the top of my head. Some are big players, others smaller and almost not-relevant to the plot. Not counting the one’s I asterisked, it’s 15 characters. There are original characters but a lot of them, especially in S1 felt like one off, not important characters. And I hate Cid so much—glad to see she was absent in the S3 trailer. I’m really starting to love Phee and I’ve always loved Fennec Shand, and Hemlock is definitely an intriguing villain and Emerie feels like a total mystery (though the reveal was not shocking due to the similar design and accent to Omega). Like why can’t they create more characters like these? The rest just feel forgettable. And it’s clear that characters like Saw, Gungi, Scorch, Cad Bane and even the Syndulla and Lawquane families just felt like fan service. The rest kind of make sense that they’d show up but it also feels a bit like fan service.

Moving on..

I know a lot of people think that new weird dark trooper at the 1:40 mark is Tech. While I’m inclined to agree as I think the ‘Winter Soldier’ story is an obvious choice to pick, I also think that Tech is dead. I’ve changed my mind and kind of hope that Tech isn’t brought back.

I hope this is someone new. I also wouldn’t mind if it was a bounty hunter we’ve seen before. Due to the frame and stature, I could almost think of Boba due to him being older than Omega but it’s definitely more likely to be Tech than either of these choices.

It’s interesting a lot of cameo characters from S2 do not make an appearance in the trailer. Bail, Riyo, Gungi, Gregor and Cody are all absent from the trailer. Trailers usually show action shots to avoid story spoilers, but with Gungi, Gregor, and Cody all being capable fighters, I’m surprised they didn’t appear (usually stuff with politics is a story spoiler).

Overall I’m skeptical of the trailer. I don’t like Ventress being alive/in TBB being a Dark Disciple lover. There’s a lot of mystery surrounding the story of S3 so I don’t feel like I can give an accurate take on that. I hate how Omega’s longer hair looks. Curly haired Omega is adorable!! The animation (everything but the clone model) is definitely getting better. However, based on how S2 was marketed as a ‘darker story compared to S1’ and was like 80% fetch quest I’m definitely skeptical.

Those of you that made it through this post, thank you for your time and I hope I gave you something to think about. If you wanna learn more about the racism and ableism portrayed in this show, check out @unwhitewashthebadbatch for more info.

[quoigenicfromhell]

"The Dalai lama said--" the Dalai Lama is an older gentleman who does not speak English natively and is not familiar with the history or culture of the Western tulpamancy community. And the quote that yall love so much says nothing about tulpas. And furthermore, WESTERN TULPAMANCY IS NOT BUDDHIST. IT IGNORES THE FUNDAMENTAL ELEMENTS OF BUDDHISM. YOU ARE NOT USING BUDDHIST CONCEPTS. you're using a BASTARDIZED VERSION that was twisted into an exercise in hyper-egoism promoted by hyper-egoists. It is PRECISELY the opposite of Buddhist practice. WHAT is not fucking clicking, are you that self-invested that you can't look at this from an outside perspective and see how shitty it looks?

You're using the Dalai Lama as an authority despite not being Buddhist. You are using him as a chess piece. The disrespect is un-fucking-real.

Why is changing the goddamn terminology more difficult than playing 5D racism chess with religious leaders you do not follow and a culture you're not a part of? For the love of God.

[hiiragi7]

Another post on the Tulpa terminology discourse because... I'm a bit frustrated.

I am a pro-endo Buddhist.

Regardless of how I feel on the origins of Tulpa and its current western usage or even whether it was genuine cultural sharing or whether the term was twisted from its roots and bastardized from a white woman's understanding of Tibetan Buddhism, the way this conversation is being approached is having me feel as though people are just getting ignored and spoken over in favor of continuing to use the word Tulpa while still claiming to listen to the people it affects (and not actually doing it), which is really frustrating to watch.

It feels like the whole "I'll listen when a Buddhist speaks on this!" is all for show, because nobody on the pro-tulpa-terminology side I've seen actually is. People are just claiming that anyone against their usage of the word Tulpa is just anti-endo/"sysmed" and villainizing and over-generalizing the other side, and when the other side in this case is people from another religion and/or culture speaking on their own religion/culture, that edges into some real fucking shady territory to me. Even if you believe that the origins of Tulpa aren't racist, the way this conversation is being treated is.

I've seen Sophie and Cambrian and anon asks on other blogs and other pro-endo blogs all either arguing with or outright ignoring the people they claimed they'd listen to, and that is so much more telling to me than the initial argument ever was. If it was really just about whether it's okay to use the word Tulpa or not, sure, fine, whatever, let's talk about it - But it's not, because now we've made it about speaking over and ignoring the people you claim agree with you.

I feel like some good conversations could happen here, if that was actually ever the point - For example, we could discuss whether it was a genuine cultural sharing in the first place that lead to western Tulpas, we could discuss how much we should value the word of the Dalai Lama over everyone else this language affects, we could discuss why the usage of "Tulpa" is worth fighting over rather than using another word, we could discuss where respectful borrowing and sharing outside of a given religion/culture ends and begins. But nobody in syscourse actually wants to do that and just wants to justify how they're right, even if it means ignoring and arguing with others on their own religion and culture.

And that is fucking shitty.

[sleepy-shutin]

@avianadonis sorry, for whatever reason i can't reblog and reply to your post directly even though i'm fairly sure you don't have me blocked, so i'll just screenshot and put it here. if you DO have me blocked, feel free to ignore. if you don't, here's a fair warning: this is kind of long.

for context: this was avianadonis's reply to my post criticizing two of sophie's biggest talking points in a recent post where an anon in an ask criticized her for moving goalposts on discussion of tulpamancy, and refusing to listen to tibetan people when they spoke out on the discussion of tulpamancy and cultural appropriation. i don't agree with everything anon said because some things were wrong, like the location of tibet, but i like that they actually bothered to criticize her for these things.

and well, i'm pretty sure i clearly outlined all of the problems i have with her arguments in the original post i made, which would qualify as my arguments against hers, but sure, i have the day off so i will elaborate further.

my arguments against hers are the following:

a) she's speaking for tibetan people when she doesn't live in tibet or understand the political climate of tibet and what activists in tibet are doing to try and liberate themselves--it's more than likely there are tibetan activists in and out of tibet fighting against the CCP because where there is oppression and propaganda, there are people fighting back against it with everything they've got, even in small and non-violent ways; such as referring to the chinese takeover of tibet not as "the peaceful liberation of tibet" as the CCP refers to it, but rather as "the chinese invasion of tibet". this shows you plain as day how tibetan diaspora view and understand the situation.

you're telling me that she can't listen to tibetan diaspora, (in this incredibly niche discourse, where it may be difficult to find many tibetan buddhists or tibetan people/diaspora on tumblr getting into this discourse, mind you), on how their culture is treated by westerners? all while she's continuously citing a book written by a white woman in the 19-fucking-30s.

she is speaking as a white person, presumably in the west, and speaking for tibetan people, and saying that she can't even trust them on their own issues because of the CCP propaganda.

and yet she, in spite of all this, believes that she has any authority to be speaking for a group of people currently under chinese control against their will, and their diaspora.

that is white saviorism at its finest.

i'm not going to pretend to be an expert on tibet because i'm not. i did a rough wikipedia page read on a couple of things related to tibet and the chinese takeover and went from there.

but what sophie is doing, and i know this because it takes an ignorant person to know an ignorant person, is outright pretending she has more knowledge and understanding than she actually does on the situation, and has decided that the tibetan people, living in tibet or not, are not reliable on what does and doesn't harm them and their culture because of CCP propaganda and because she disagrees with them, then used a vague quote from the dalai lama to justify taking aspects of tibetan buddhism, where she truly has little understanding of the actual practice it comes from.

at this point, i care less about the discussion of the word tulpa itself and more about the racism and white saviorism and pseudo-intellectualism that sophie uses to justify using the word and what that says about the people that follow and agree with her. because jesus fuck, it's kind of horrifying.

and every time a tibetan buddhist comes in and criticizes her, she ignores them because they're anti-endo, or because she assumes they are and labels them as anti-endo regardless of if they are or not.

and b) she's openly admitting to refusing criticism for citing papers that don't support her arguments. at all. be it because they are assuming tulpas/non-dissociative systems exist in the first place without proving it, because they're clearly about complex dissociative disorders and not endogenic systems (and by clearly, i mean outright referring to trauma an dissociation), because they're outright trying to disprove the existence of complex dissociative disorders with the fantasy model, or because they're about psychotic people hearing voices, and the alternative treatments outside of medications to treat the voices, (not herbal remedies; talk therapy and engaging with the voice(s) with a trained professional).

this is all part of a larger pattern with sophie. she bullshits, she pretends to know more than she actually does on these subjects, and acts like she has any ground on which to stand and call herself an authority, and when people have genuine criticism that she can't bullshit against and twist to make herself look smart to her followers, she ignores it. and people eat it up because she seems nice and polite and seems educated, even when responding to horrific vitriol.

nobody bothers to read the papers she cites, nobody bothers to check her sources, they assume that she will do all those things for them and that she is a trusted source without looking into it themselves. i know this because i have had people cite to me papers that are not valid evidence for endogenics existing, (such as the survey that finds people with tulpas have better mental health than they did before, without proving they exist and even outright stating that this survey can't prove they exist), and a friend recently had someone in a discord server openly admit to citing a paper without reading it first. there are carrds compiling "evidence" that endogenic systems exist where the people openly admit to not reading the papers, and very even if they did, they obviously aren't being critical about it because they're acting like a survey that doesn't attempt to prove the existence of endogenic systems somehow proves the existence of endogenic systems.

i can't remember if she still has this paper on her list or not, but someone emailed the author of it and said that not only was her paper not about endogenic systems, she didn't approve of her work being used in this manner because it was about functional multiplicity as a valid healing option for DID alongside final fusion. not endogenic systems.

look, i don't hate endogenic systems. because of the fact that there's a lack of research into whether or not endogenic systems exist and because i choose to believe in the ideology of live and let live, i mostly don't care what endogenics are doing with themselves as long as they're not actually hurting anyone, and while many people have varying definitions of what that means, i personally don't find the existence of endogenic and nondissociative systems to in and of themselves be harmful. i just hate that so many of them are so desperate to prove themselves against the hate that they're becoming ignorant in the face of how science actually works in order to do it.

leaving everything up to one person that they uncritically follow.

many of them are buying into the pattern that sophie has consistently been putting out for a couple of years now, and i find it so disgustingly disingenuous because she's giving many endogenic and nondissociative systems a false sense of hope to prove themselves when that's not what's actually happening; from repeating debunked arguments to citing papers that actively go against what she's saying, to consistently, time and time again, showing us that she has not read a lick of literature on complex dissociative disorders. all the while, ignoring any and all criticism that she can't twist to make herself look good.

all this to say that sophie has a long pattern of pseudointellectualism--pretending to know what she's talking about when she doesn't, and bullshitting herself every which way to make herself sound smart and educated. then, most infuriatingly, refusing to respond to valid criticism that actually bothers to bring her claims into question, and referring to all of her critics as anti-endos whether they actually believe in endogenic systems or not.

so, do you actually have an argument as to why she's correct or are you another uncritical follower of everything she says, who never bothers to bring any of her claims into question?

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

okay so. thinking about the new episode. season 5 finale. lets jump into it

So. That's it?

Honestly, I'm kind of disappointed about this episode because while things got resolved, I felt like there wasn't much emotional resolution? I don't know. Because like, obviously Fyodor's dead and Fukuchi's dead (before I hear anything about either of these, I'm touching back on those in just a sec), and Bram's back to being a full bodied individual, I'm not that satisfied. For god knows how long, the ADA has been divided, being treated like terrorists and what not, and they just. Resolve it like that? Dazai isn't even back with them yet, we didn't even see Yosano, like. I want to see the band back together again. I want to know how everyone's recuperating after that shit show of an arc, because that was a lot.

-

We're just. Not going to talk about Meursault?

On the note of resolution, yeah, I'm kind of annoyed that we didn't get more SKK. Not even like, ship content. I don't even care about that part, I think we all knew that was coming, and whatever, like, it doesn't matter.

What I care about is like. Any conversation of what the fuck happened in Meursault. There is no god-damn way that Dazai planned all of that with Chuuya pretending to be a vampire. There's just--can we talk about this? Please? What the fuck happened in there? What happened when we couldn't see things? How much of that was acting, and how much of that was real? Like. Chuuya was wearing contacts and fangs this whole time--okay?

-

Fyodor's not dead.

I want to talk about this, because my initial reaction was "oh shit, they fucking killed him off.

And then. I looked this up.

Eli, Eli, lama sabachtani.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.

Spoken by Jesus right before he dies, and then gets resurrected, three days later.

You know, that's pretty damn suspicious. Especially since we don't see a dead body. Originally, I was like, "oh, we have an arm, he's lost his arm, he must be dead."

That's not a body.

Something weird is going on here. I get the feeling this isn't the last we'll see of Fyodor or of Nikolai, for better or worse.

It's also intriguing that Fyodor didn't bother to take the antidote once he received it.

Hm. Perhaps he suspected that in a few minutes, he wouldn't need it.

I don't know, just theorizing.

-

What the fuck happened to Sigma?

Literally, that's it? Sigma's just. Comatose? Forever? Was he left in Meursault? Stuck like that? After an information overload? That's it? Dazai and Chuuya seemed to give zero fucks about it (which is not surprising considering they just met him, but still) (this is not a "WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DON'T CARE" comment, this is a general like "they've got more pressing priorities than a man they've known for about 30 minutes tops"), which seems to imply that he was just left there in that state.

Is Sigma just going to stay imprisoned in Meursault in that state? Because as a member of a terrorist group--which after all this, I'm hoping it's established that the true terrorist group was in fact the Decay--it would make sense for him to be held in the top security prison that they just broke out of.

Also, what the fuck is going to happen with Meursault. They destroyed quite a bit of that. Like. Is Dazai going to receive a call about "hey, bestie! you kinda destroyed our high-security government facility, time to pay up lol" LIKE. HELLO.

-

Fukuchi's "curse" on Fukuzawa-- what is that going to mean for his future and that of the ADA's?

It'd be very easy to say that Ranpo was speaking metaphorically about Fukuchi cursing Fukuzawa, but this is BSD. A lot of weird shit happens.

In any case, ignoring that, we now know that Fukuchi seemed to plan for Fukuzawa to be the one to kill him, and that One Order would actually respond to Fukuzawa. He has put him into this role of the chief commander of the Army of Mankind--not sure if that's official or not, but that could have big implications for Fukuzawa and the ADA going forward. And now, he has One Order, and can't destroy it, which begs the question:

What next?

EXCEPT FOR FUCKING THIS:

-

TWO. HOURS. THEY GOT TWO HOURS BEFORE THINGS WENT BACK TO SHIT.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

ARE YOU SERIOUS.

TWO. GOD DAMN. HOURS.

AND EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY GONE BACK TO HELL.

Albeit, Akutagawa's back and got a fire af fit, but EVERYTHING HAS GONE BACK TO HELL. ALREADY.

And, the worst part?

That's got to be fucking Fukuchi, who we just saw die.

The scars on the face. The hair. The buff ass body.

And that fucking sword.

Which means that within those two hours, something went very, very wrong.

No one else is in sight. Atsushi is currently fighting Fukuchi again. Akutagawa has either been fighting at his side or is now fighting with him.

What's even more fascinating is the cloth mask over Fukuchi's face. Intentionally obscuring his vision, and our vision of his face.

Let's take a further, closer look, shall we?

This man. Has no feet. His hands have become claw-like, black. There appears to be antlers popping out of his head.

Something really fucking weird is going on, and you know what? We're not finding out shit for god knows how long, because we didn't even get to all this stuff in the manga yet.

-

Other Thoughts

Akutagawa's Return: The boy has come back! He's not dead! That's wonderful! Plus, he's got a badass new look. However, he and Atsushi are already going head-to-head again with Fukuchi(?). (Also, someone commented on here--I can't remember who--about how he has armor covering his neck, and TOO SOON. HE JUST CAME BACK. STOP.)

Bram Stoker: The man has been freed from the sword, which also begs the question of what exactly will happen to said sword, but that's a later problem, most likely. The man now has two legs, is alive... what's he gonna do? My bets are that he's going to hang out with Aya, the reincarnation of his daughter, because why the fuck not. It's not like he has anything better to do at the moment.

Vampires: Uh. People are still vampirized. Albeit, when we see Akutagawa again in the preview, he is very notably not a vampire anymore, but how did that happen? Can Bram just, revoke his ability? Probably.

Dazai's Return: Listen, man. He's been in jail for months. I just want to see him reunite with everyone again. I want to see Atsushi and Kunikida going "holy shit you're back". I want Ranpo to make fun of him for going head to head with Fyodor. I want to see him recovering from the shit that happened in Meursault. You know what I want? I want him to stop playing chessmaster for one fucking moment and just. Relax. Take a nap. Jesus fucking christ.

Jouno: We didn't see him in this episode. At all. Where is he? Where did he go? Why isn't he here? If the vampirization is taken away, he's got to be free.

The Hunting Dogs: Are we going to continue seeing them, or was this the last of them? Honestly, it'd be interesting seeing them becoming a more permanent fixture in the cast, kind of like how the Guild has functioned.

Man. Now we got to wait aaaaaaaaaall over again.

Welp. Time to wait for the start of next month...

[marksarmel]

What I've Been Consuming 04/31/23

Bitten by the Covid bug was I! It felled me, but I struggled mightily to consume and now I return, fatigued, but still bug-eyed and bug-eared. Read on my fellow insatiable media gluttons.

TV:

The Bad Batch - Episode 12 - “The Outpost”. While I’ve been loving Season 2 of the Bad Batch I wanted to review this episode singularly because it was full of so many good things. This episode focuses on Crosshair and the dark dark side of the Empire. And there is nary a Sith Lord in sight. And yes, I meant to use two darks in a row. This episode continues Crosshair’s arc in which he comes to understand the cruelty of the Empire and how their war machine shows no mercy, even to its own soldiers

Our favorite brooding clone, Crosshair, is being sent to help secure an outpost on Barton-4 that has been the victim of numerous raids. Before we get to the meat of the episode Crosshair witnesses a group of clones being forced into retirement. Another bit of evidence pointing to the Empire’s disdain of the clones. Crosshair observes this with little emotion, but we know it’s breaking down his already shaky belief in the Empire. Also, Lieutenant Nolan openly despises clones. Also, also, this guy is a total pain in the ass.

At the outpost Crosshair meets a broken down skeleton crew of clones who have been tasked with guarding unknown cargo at the outpost. Their leader, Mayday, is an aged veteran clone, with little respect for Nolan’s upturned nose. Mayday and Crosshair set out for a tour of the depot as Mayday explains that their equipment and infrastructure is long past its expiration date. And that his requests for updated equipment have been ignored. It’s not long before the outpost is attacked and after a brief skirmish that ends with a few dead clones (and Crosshair picking off a raider), Lieutenant, the Prick, Nolan sends Crosshair and Mayday out to recover the stolen cargo.

Things soon go sideways and our new duo find themselves sinking deeper and deeper into a hopeless situation. After another brief battle they discover the cargo that the clones have been guarding (and dying for) is newer updated equipment for new non-clone soldiers. The very same equipment that Mayday has been requesting be sent to them. Crosshair gets to add another entry into his pros and cons list for the Empire.

Before they can secure the cargo an avalanche nearly kills both men, but Crosshair manages to drag Mayday back to base. Lieutenant, the Ice Queen, Nolan, is none too happy to see the two broken soldiers arrive sans cargo and even refuses medical aid for the nearly dead Mayday, calling them both expendable. As Nolan rambles on pitilessly, Mayday dies. Nolan orders the nearly dead Crosshair back to work. Unfortunately for Nolan, (but goody for us!) he’s unaware that he’s talking to a clone that now gives absolutely zero fucks. Crosshair gives Nolan an early retirement courtesy of a blaster shot straight to the chest. He is quickly arrested by the new clones. There’s a sort of twisted parallel here to when Crosshair, upon orders, killed the defenseless Governess, and rebel to the Empire, Ames in “the Solitary Clone” episode. Here in this episode, Crosshair finds himself killing someone on the Empire’s side. Makes you think perhaps a better name for Crosshair would have been Crossfire, because he’s definitely trapped on both sides.

Crosshair awakens to find himself not in jail but in a somewhat cushier environment where he is greeted by Dr. Emerie Karr, the clone scientist that we met a few episodes back, who was part of the team holding the Kaminoan Lama Su captive. What she has in mind for Crosshair isn’t quite revealed, but whatever it is Crosshair is a clone forever changed.

This episode also had really spectacular animation. The snowy world of Barton-4 made me snuggle deeper into my blanket and Crosshair’s face ran the gamut of emotions throughout the story. Damn what a fine piece of work.

The Mandalorian - This season has been good to Mando so far. In a show packed with so many enjoyable characters, like Bo-Katan and Grogu and Greef Karga and the always welcome Amy Sedalia as Peli Motto and the Mandolorian convert it would be crazy to introduce a new storyline, but that’s just what happens in episode 3’s the “The Convert”. After a blistering opening where our trio of Bo Katan, Grogu and Mando barely escape Mandalore we are dropped into a brand new storyline that is honestly quite jarring. While it’s not technically a brand new storyline and I’m sure it will connect to the larger Mandalore story I was a bit bummed to have this episode spend so much time with a character that I had little interest in. Episode 5 “the Pirate” gets us right back to old times and gives us some great cameos as well. I’m still super high on this show so I can forgive a little excursion from our main storylines.

Chris Rock comedy special - Chris has always been a pretty steadfast comedian in my opinion so I was eager to see how he rebounded after “The Slap”. I wouldn't call this great, barely good. It lacks the sharp observations on racism, relationships and life that Rock normally hits. The setups seem to be there, but the punchines just don’t land that hard.

In the end he does go after Will and Jada and this is where things start to pick up. He’s open and honest and actually quite angry. He was bullied by a much larger, much more powerful man, in front of millions of people, why wouldn’t he be? Did he go too hard on Jada? Maybe, but Chris’ talent is words and that’s what he has to use to make his way in the world. It’s unfortunate that Will Smith, a man who is quite the wordsmith himself, chose to attack Chris physically, but love makes us all do strange things. Nobody wins here. Everybody loses.

The Last of Us - You can save the world, if only you give up your first born. While not quite Joel’s first born Ellie is enough of a stand in that Joel is completely unable to fathom giving her up. The final episode of this show continues wrecking our hearts and forcing us to watch these two become more and more emotionally anchored to each other. All this only to see them be hurt in ways much deeper than any physical wound. Joel goes full on John Wick Terminator Boss Level mode to save Ellie one last time, but it may not be what she would have wanted. This final decision is one that has already been debated since the first game came out, but the show's creators Neil Druckmann and Craig Mazin, Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsay fill it with such emotional weight that it would be foolish to think that either side is fully right or fully wrong. Ultimately the trip this show took us on is one of super heavy emotional weight and I’m actually glad that I’ve got some time to recover before Season 2.

Superman and Lois - This show is good! During a battle wherein I finally was bitten by the Covid bug I had nothing to do but be miserable and watch tv. Superman and Lois popped up in my searches and my hazy mediciney fogged mind decided to pass the time with some mindless tv. Only this was anything but. First off this series looks fantastic. The pilot episode does a great job of quickly summarizing Superman’s early days and then quickly adds in something different. This series gives Superman kids, a set of twins, one of which may have powers and the other which is dealing with a very modern issue, social anxiety disorder. All of this sets up a new framework for Superman that feels both nostalgic and new. As I said earlier this show looks great and the opening episode gives us some truly iconic shots. Though it does lean a bit too heavily into the modern style of some shows by looking way too dark and desaturated, it doesn't take away from all the good things about this show.

MOVIES:

Shazam 2- Look, this movie was about what I expected it to be; light loose, fun and breezy. There are issues big and small with this movie and I’m sure some fans of the first one went in with high hopes that were soon dashed, but that is the state with DC right now. Here’s to hoping Mr. Gunn can work his magic going forward.

Overall my biggest issue is that the movie was either miscast or poorly written and most likely both.

MUSIC

Niia - I - Another artist I recently stumbled across on Spotify that turned out to be quite the gem. The soft and simple album opener is the perfect aural pallet cleanser for the rest of the album of groovy sultry jams.

Kimbra - “Save Me” -  Do you remember a little ditty “Somebody That I Used To Know” from a long time ago? Well Kimbra is the other singer on that song. I really didn’t keep with either artist after that huge hit, but I found this while rooting around. While the whole album is pretty listenable this moody hypnotic track grabbed me by my earstems and wouldn’t let go.

[guardianssystem]

As a traumagenic DID system, we'd personally like to mention two or three specific points of this.

"Severe dissociation is caused by trauma"

If you look up "Kathy Steele," you'll find basically all of her work consists of "trauma-related dissociation." She and many others wouldn't need to specify that the dissociation is trauma-related if trauma was the only thing that caused dissociation. Who exactly is Kathy Steele? Well, if you do look her up, you'll find she's the only writer of the Theory of Structural Dissociation who hasn't said she supports non-traumagenic multiplicity. Dissociation is incredibly common in other disorders, especially autism, ADHD, MADD, and BPD. It can even be experienced by non-neurodivergent folks. This anti-endo is just being ignorant and ableist.

"Pro-endogenic resources only written by people claiming to be endogenic" and "spreading misinformation about a very real and complex trauma disorder (DID/OSDD)" and "stay the fuck out of DID/OSDD spaces"

Well done, this anti-endo is not only ableist towards other disorders and neurodivergencies, but is also (possibly purposefully) ignoring traumagenic systems and traumatic experiences. We are a traumagenic system, and we wrote

which is an "endogenic resource". We know other traumagenic systems that write similar things, as well as non-traumagenic systems who have experienced trauma. Beaides that, this person has ignored UDD multiple times, as well as the categorisation of the disorders, which is dissociative disorders, not trauma disorders. Besides that too, they're suggesting that traumagenic systems only exist if they are disordered, which is ignoring and discarding the experiences of traumagenic systems who don't actually fit the criteria, usually because they're not distressed by their system, aka, healthy multiplicity. Then they're also equaling disordered spaces to spaces for systems who have trauma, which is ignoring multiple systems who have experienced trauma, traumagenic and otherwise. This anti-endo is ableist towards both other disorders, and other systems.

Lastly, "If you're claiming to be a 'Tulpa' system, you're appropriating an ancient spiritual practice"

This is someone from said ancient spiritual practice saying Tulpa systems are perfectly fine and are different from the practice. Which, per the Dalai Lama, isn't actually closed anyway. Dear anti-endo, you're now speaking over someone from the culture you're referencing.

Putting the massive amount of evidence and research supporting endos aside, even if it's by accident or purposeful ignorance or whatever else, this anti-endo and many others are being both ableist and racist because they aren't bothering to actually educate themselves. Instead, all they do is take information from each other and repeat it, speak over people, ignore other systems, and discard any experience that isn't theirs. The only thing it does is hurt them.

Endogenic systems and non-traumagenic plurality have existed for thousands of years, and someone who doesn't know what they're talking about isn't going to erase that, lol.

-Austin

Stop Posting Hate and Disinformation in Endogenic Tags!

Does it? Are you sure? Because that's a really bold way to start off a post in a community with a lot of people who have PTSD!

But even bolder is this claim:

I would ask for the source for this, but I already know it.

Now, to be fair, there is a lot of wiggle room where some can argue semantics of what an "alter" is.

Luckily, today we aren't arguing semantics, as they made it clear in a comment that they don't believe endogenic systems are experiencing any sort of plurality! Yay!

Now, back to their claims... it's true that most evidence of any forms of consciousness in psychology is based on believing people's personal experiences.

Psychology is distinct from neuroscience in this way. Hopefully, we can get neurological evidence too. Stanford University was conducting an fMRI study into tulpamancers. But that study isn't complete yet.

But it is worth noting that practically every researcher who has looked into endogenic and non-disordered plurality do believe it's a real phenomena.

As mentioned above, Stanford University has invested anywhere from tens of thousands of dollars to hundreds of thousands of dollars into a neurological study of tulpamancers.

The ICD-11 by the World Health Organization states that you can have multiple "distinct personality states" without a disorder.

The creators of the theory of structural dissociation have said that hypnosis and spiritual mediumship may create "self-conscious dissociated parts of the personality."

Transgender Mental Health by Eric Yarbrough has an entire chapter discussing plurality, including acknowledging non-disordered and endogenic plurality. Eric Yarbrough is a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, and this book was published by APA Publishing.

And these are but a few.

Psychiatrists and psychologists overwhelming support the existence of endogenic plurality.

Is there any reason for the human brain to just randomly decide to be a singlet?

Why do the 80-billion neurons in the human brain just decide to be one person? Why is a singlet treated as inherently the default for humanity?

Total side tangent, but not all alters fit neatly into the ANP/EP dichotomy. The thing that defines an ANP is not simply being dissociated from the trauma, but trying to continue on with normal life and avoid it. Hence, being "apparently normal."

Many alters though, just don't fit into that as described. I would argue that a non-traumagenic alter who never fronts isn't really an ANP according to the Theory of Structural Dissociation.

Yup. That's why I'm responding to this. Your post is nothing but misinformation.

Most words have etymology in other cultures. Hurricane, for example, comes from an indigenous religion that referred to storm gods. This is a natural process as cultures interact.

For the record, "tulpamancy" IS created headmates. The term "tulpamancy" is purely Western, with the -mancy suffix originating in Latin. And whether you like it or not, the ongoing studies into tulpamancy will be into this Western practice, not the Tibetan sprul pa from which it draws its etymology.

Maybe you should take your own advice.

Although if you have a single credible source proving that endogenic plurality can't exist, you're welcome to show me.

You: "Stay out of DID/OSDD spaces" Also You: *Tags post as "#endogenic" and "#endogenic systems"*

Anyway, as always, anti-endos coming into endogenic tags means the response goes to anti-endo tags. If anti-endos do not like me posting in their tags, please take a moment to explain to @frenzyborderlines why crosstagging into our spaces is bad (and incredibly hypocritical from someone telling endogenic systems to stay out of CDD spaces) so I won't need to do this again.

[chubbyreaderchan]

*whispers* I heard you got the stuff. I’m just askin for a friend, what would it take to get a zuko x reader where reader is flirted with and zuko gets jelly and drags her away to their special place(they gots to have one) without saying a word but when he finally does talk he expresses his insecurity? Maybe some smut? *talks in loud voice* SO HOW ARE U TODAY?

Let’s just say that Zuko is 18 when he joins team Avatar ;P This is also a “zuko losing his virginity story” oops. 

Zuko huffed watching his girlfriend talk to a young farm boy. His teeth gritted as he reached forward touching her arm as they laughed over something. How dare he touch her? He could feel the fire crackling in the palm of his hand as he stomped up to his girlfriend and grabbed her hand. He pulled her behind him and stood between the two. 

“Hey, buddy! Stop flirting with my girlfriend!” He shouted causing the market to pause for a moment before returning to the normal bustle. The boy looked surprised. “I-I didn’t know she had a boyfriend!” He stepped back trying to back away from the angry young man in front of him. Zuko narrowed his eyes. “She was flirting with me!” Zuko grit his teeth again trying not to light the man on fire. 

He took a deep breath and grabbed his girlfriend’s hand walking her out of the small village, almost causing her to drop the bag of groceries she was tasked to get for the Avatar gang. He was tugging her along to their spot. It was a secluded spot that had many wild flowers that she used to sneak off to for alone time but after agreeing to be with him it became their spot. 

“Zuko...” She said quite confused. “He was just telling me the differences in the fruit....” She was still learning about some of the local fair in this part of the fire nation, she was absolutely not raised in the fire nation. But she had to convince many that she grew up in a firenation “settlement” in the earth kingdom. That was the lie she told whenever she was confused and without Zuko by her side.

He flopped down hard in the flowers and growled in frustration. “But you were flirting. You like him better than me. And he didn’t chase you...” he sighed. “And he wasn’t a dishonor to his father.... and he has a handsome face...” He turned onto his side back away from her.

(Y/n) gasped at his words. “Zuko...” She moved to stand in front of him but he childishly turned away. That annoyed her but she ignored it. She just laid next to him so that she could reach his ear to speak into it softly. Her arms wrapped around his body, cuddling against him. 

“I don’t want him... I want you!” He humpfed. “Yeah right, (Y/n).... you could do so much better... He’s funny and--” 

She huffed and began kissing his neck softly. “Zuko... just... let me show you how much I love you.” He froze. What does she mean? She didn’t mean... They hadn’t done anything beyond kissing before. 

He turned to look at her in surprise. “W-what...?” She could feel her skin heat up from embarrassment. “I-I want to... show you.” 

(Y/n) took the lead pushing him down onto his back and pressing a kiss against his lips. He froze like a deer in headlights not sure of what to do, his hands stayed at his side. But then instinct kicked in finally, he kissed back against her lips roughly. Soon she was on top of him completely, straddling his hips. She pulled away from the kiss and lightly pressed soft kisses across his face, especially against his scar. Yet, his hands still remained at his side, almost afraid of touching her.  

“Zuko... you can touch me...” she sighed kissing his neck and pulling off his top. She tossed the red fabric away and that was when his hands moved to grip her hips. His fingers gripped the slight amount of fat against her butt groping it roughly. She pulled away to remove her own top and under garments revealing her breasts for his view. His eyes widened and his cheeks flushed bright red, he paused his movements just admiring them. He has never seen bare breasts before. They were beautiful. She was beautiful. He was sure if there was a God they’d look her, bare chested, sun kissing her bare skin above him. 

“I love you.” He spoke softly. She kissed him and responded “I love you too...” Then (Y/n) smiled. “You can touch them if you’d like,” Zuko swallowed once again nervous. Why was he so nervous? He was the prince of the Firelord! His hand moved up her hips and over her ribcage until his warm fingers found the soft mounds. He lifted the one and squeezed it gently. His thumb brushed the nipple lightly and he watched her face to be assured it was okay.

A soft hum in delight escaped her lips. “I like that, Zuko...” She praised him. Zuko smiled softly, feeling a bit more confidence he let the other hand grip the other breast. His fingers trailed to lightly pinch and pull at the sensitive nipple. Zuko sat up more to kiss her while he played her them. She was moaning against his lips causing his member to harden, pressing against her thigh. She could feel it warm against her. Zuko was now allowing instinct to take hold, his hands moved to remove her bottoms. In the bright afternoon sun, she was bare on top of him. If she wasn’t a goddess before, he was now. His fingers trialed down her body, lightly rubbing against her warm slit. His eyes watched her face so closely wanting to see any reaction from her, but then he pressed against her clit and that pulled a loud moan from her. “Zuko...” She whispered softly. “That feels so good. Please do it again.” He pressed and rubbed against the nub wanting to hear more praise from her. His fingers moved down to her entrance  and he slowly pushed a finger in. “Oh Zuko,” She leaned against him, pleasure forcing her into him for leverage. “More.” She soon begged, he added another finger. He leaned up and kissed her as he fingered her wet body. Her hips began to rock to meet the thrusting digits. “Take off your pants.” She begged. “Please” 

Zuko carefully removed his fingers and did as he was asked as best as he could with her still on top of him. He kicked off the pants finally bare, skin to skin. His cock was above average in length, nothing completely undoable but still quite big. Her hands moved down his toned chest and gripped his stiff member in her hands. He was incredibly warm. She wondered if it was something to do with his firebending but she didn’t want to test it. Zuko was all she wanted. 

His moans were deep and husky like his voice as she played with him. Soft finger tips brushed up and down him ever so gently. “Zuko... please.... I want you in me.” She whimpered out in desperation, his cock was just to close to her entrance for it not to be in her. “O-okay!” Zuko responded, she took him and lead him to enter her body. She slowly sank down on the young prince. They both moaned and Zuko had to force himself not to cum in her just then. Then she started moving her hips and he could have sworn he saw the spirit world as she did. 

“(Y/n)” Zuko moaned out softly as she moved faster against him. His hips moved up against her to match her thrusts. Both moaned and praised the other blissfully. He couldn’t handle it. He burst, pouring his seed deep inside her which seemed to be just the right thing to send her into her own bliss. 

“Zuko...” She sighed kissing his neck, face and scar once more. “I love you.” She half sobbed from their deep connection. “I don’t want anyone but you...” She held him close as they laid in the field of flowers. 

“I know, (Y/n)... I love you so much... I can’t loose you...” he held her to his chest. “You won’t.... Zuko... I’ll be there for you until the very end.” 

Zuko looked at her and kissed her one more time before they settled into cuddling a little longer in the field of flowers. 

[writingsbymo-mo]

can i join ur discord server-

I don’t actually have a server,,,sorry ;-; the one in the pics is from a bnha writer’s server I joined

I don’t know if I’ll make my own server right now or not. Just not sure if I can handle running one tbh 😅 If I do make one, I’ll make an announcement about it and add you then uwu

[livexdolan]

what happens in part 5? do they start dating?

A/n: slow your roll bud...all good things come to those who wait 😌

Masterlist

Previously (Pt. 4)

Back pressed into a cold counter and both of you pulling each other impossibly closer. Grayson bites your bottom lip slightly, then pulls back, looking you in the eyes.

Panting, you watch him with hungry eyes and grip the hair on the back of his neck a little harder, pulling him back down to meet your lips.

“Honeyy, I’m home!” Mando’s voice sings as a door starts to open and Grayson pulls away so quickly he bites your lip again, this time hard.

“Ouch!” You yelp, hand going up to your lip as Mando and a group of people walk in.

He raises his brow at the two of us, a knowing smirk starting to form. Grayson swallows nervously, “Y/n uh-“ Grayson runs his hand through his hair, “she ran into the doorway. Busted her lip open. I was going to help her with it.”

You give Grayson a look that says, ‘that’s the best excuse you could come up with?’ and Mando just hums, crossing his arms, “Mhm, sure.”

“No, seriously!” You say, trying to sound convincing, keeping your hand on your lip, wincing in fake pain, “You know me- always running into things.”

Grayson laughs and you join in, the two of you looking at Mando and praying he doesn’t press the issue, “Riight,” he drawls.

Before he can say anything else, Ethan and everyone from the backyard comes back in and start greeting the new people. That’s when you really start looking at the rest of the group.

It’s Mando, Dylan, and Chase. Followed by Leah, Kayla, and Aly. You try not to groan outwardly at the sight of Kayla. She’s been trying to get Grayson to make her his girlfriend since sophomore year of college and even though he turned her down at least three times she hasn’t gotten the message.

It doesn’t help that you know, for a fact, that Grayson’s fucked her twice. That’s what started this whole thing because he was known for never sleeping with the same girl twice. In his defense, he only slept with her again because he was so drunk he thought she was our other friend Becca. But Kayla doesn’t know that, or she does and ignores it, either way she annoys the shit out of you.

“Alright! Let’s get everyone into their rooms,” Ethan announces and everyone gathers back around the island, Grayson, Ethan, Kristina, and you all standing on one side. Ethan pulls out his phone and goes to a list in his notes.

“We already wrote out who was staying where but if you want to switch rooms, it’s no big deal,” Grayson adds and Ethan nods in agreement.

“There’s two master bedrooms and then four separate bedrooms with two bathrooms to share. Me and Kris are in one master and Gray and y/n are in the other, Mando you’re with Ryan-“ Ethans voice is cut off by a cough.

He looks up from his phone and we look at an awkward, blushing Mando, “I was- uh- I was actually hoping to share with- um- Mia,” he stutters out and Mia blushes too.

You smile at the two and Grayson chuckles, “Thats fine, Mando. The room chart isn’t set in stone,” Ethan smiles too and erases something on his phone, typing something else.

You eyebrows furrow as what he said finally hits you. Oh hell no, “Okay, now-“

“Where’d you say I was sleeping?” You cut Ethan off and he over with raised eyebrows and Grayson blushes.

“You’re sharing with me,” Grayson says and you scoff.

“No, I’m not.”

“C’mon, y/n, it’s not that big of a deal. We’ve shared before,” Grayson sighs.

“Can’t I just share with Ryan?” At the sound of his name, Ryan coughs on his drink.

“I’ll share with him,” Kayla has the nerve to squeak out, raising her hand like we’re in a fucking classroom or something. She glares at you, then cuts her eyes to eye fuck Grayson, “If y/n doesn’t want to.”

Grayson looks at you, eyes pleading, “please, y/n. Please,” he whispers and you roll your eyes.

Sighing, you shake your head, “Nevermind. I’m fine, actually. Sorry to interrupt.”

Kayla scoffs and had the audacity to look offended, “seriously?”

You raise your eyebrow at her, “seriously.”

Ethan coughs and starts again, “Alrighty then- Mando and Mia- first room on the right. Ryan and Chase, second room on the right. Dylan and Aly- you okay with sharing a room?” He looks at the two siblings and they nod, “Okay, first room on the left. Kayla and Leah you’re in the second room on the left. Go off and do whatever,” Ethan dismisses everyone.

“Where’s our room?” You ask as everyone starts to disperse.

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you,” Grayson says.

“Oh, ok,” you say dumbly.

Grayson heads back over towards the door and grabs our bags. He nods his head in the direction of the hallway everyone walked down and you follow him. Heading down the hallway in silence, you realize he’s walking past all the rooms. We turn at the end, coming to a staircase, “I thought all the rooms were on one floor?” You ask, very confused.

“No, the main master was originally on it’s own floor. It was my dad and ma’s but when dad got really sick and couldn’t walk upstairs-“ He pauses for a second, you place your hand on his arm gently, knowing it’s hard for him to talk about it, “They converted two of the other rooms downstairs into one master,” Grayson finishes as we get to the top.

There’s a small hallway, two doors, one on the left down further and a double door to our right, “What’s down there?”

“The study,” Grayson says bluntly, and you know not to ask more about the room.

Instead, he opens the large double doors, “Oh my God,” slips out of your mouth as you walk into the large room.

Large doesn’t even begin to describe it, though. The ceiling’s vaulted with a dark wood. A California king bed sits on one wall, then on the same wall as the double doors there’s a leather couch, it faces a stone fireplace with a flat-screen above it, a bookshelf on one side, meeting up with the wall-of-windows that is across from the bed.

“Go look at the bathroom and closet,” Grayson says, obviously amused by your reactions.

Walking to the second set of double doors, you gasp audibly when you see the bathroom. The bathroom’s dark grey and emerald green. The whole left wall is a counter, two sinks and a built-in vanity at the end. The glass shower’s to the right, taking up almost the whole wall, there’s two rainfall shower heads and six other shower heads spread out on the walls. At the end of the shower, there’s a small partition with the toilet, giving it some privacy but not messing with the airiness of the room. The best part of the bathroom though, is the large window looking out at the mountains, above an egg-shaped tub big enough for almost everyone downstairs. Off to the side, after the toilet, is a door. Opening the door, you’re confused as you come into another room. This one’s smaller, but still bigger than your bathroom at home. There’s a seat in the middle, a ceiling-to-floor three-way mirror, and a door that leads back into the bedroom.

Seeing two more doors you open one, seeing a regular-sized walk-in, with wood drawers and shelves. There’s a few clothes already in here. Opening the second door, you stop in your tracks, “Holy shit.”

The closet is in an L-shape, a mini-crystal chandelier hangs over the middle of the room between two small, square islands. The walls are head-to-toe cabinets, drawers, and racks. It’s all in a lighter wood than the rest of the bathroom and there’s mint green instead of emerald. The seat in the middle is even mint green. Damn, Lisa boojee as fuck. Walking back out, you see Grayson putting his stuff in the smaller closet.

“Nice, isn’t it?” He asks, not turning around to look at you.

“How did your parents afford this?” It’s the main question that’s been on your mind since learning they owned it. Everyone knows the twins are upper-middle class but this? This is upper-upper class standards.

Grayson glances over his shoulder at you, “When one of dad’s old friends found out E and I were going to school out here, he gave the house to my parents for like, a fourth of what it was worth,” he shrugs and turns to you.

“That was so awesome of him.”

“Are we just going to ignore what happened earlier?” The edge to his voice takes you by surprise, looking up at him you see his expression is guarded but you can see the fear of rejection in his eyes.

“I-uh,” you bite your lip nervously, looking down at the ground before glancing back up at him, “I don’t know,” you shrug.

He narrows his eyes at you, “You don’t know?”

“Do you want to ignore it?” You try to sound unaffected but you can hear the emotion in it.

Grayson’s facade cracks slightly at the sound of your voice and your nervous attitude. He doesn’t want to intimidate you, “Look-“ he runs a hand through his hair, “Let’s talk about this in the bedroom.”

You nod silently and follow him out of the closet and the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. He sits on the arm of the couch, facing you. Looking out the windows you still can’t believe you get to wake up to this view everyday for two weeks. It’s also a nice distraction from the 6’0 buff god staring at you.

“Are we going to talk about this like adults or are you going to run away again?” Grayson’s voice cuts through the tension in the room and you flinch at the slight infliction in his tone.

You take a deep breath, looking at him. Something in your gut tells you this is it. You are face-to-face with a fork in the road. Nothing is ever going to be the same and once you start down one road, you can never turn back. And as much as you want to ignore it and pretend everything’s fine- this talk is long-overdue.

You close your eyes for a moment, all your best memories together flashing through your mind, before taking you back to that party a few weeks ago. The memory is sobering and you open your eyes.

Staring into the green-and-brown abyss of Grayson’s eyes, you state, “Let’s talk,” in a voice calm enough to make the Dalai Lama think ‘dang, that’s a calm girl’.

A/n: okay okay i am so sorry for the long wait!! I hope you enjoy this part because it was so hard to figure out where I wanted it to go. There’s only going to be a few more parts but I am very very excited for what’s to come. Once again- thank you for the patience, love, and support I’ve gotten. It truly means the world! Also you know I had to leave y’all on a cliffhanger for now ;)