#if you're one of my friends then do not think about this post at all. it will all make sense soon

[aleskie]

YOU DON'T NEED TO LIFT A FINGER | Jack Hughes x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: When a guy just cannot get the hint, Jack makes sure to put him in his place. He's got your back. Always.

Warnings: none!! pure fluff and jack gets protective!! Full discloure, this is for realsies Fem!Reader!! Author's Note: This was supposed to come out a dayyyyys ago but Tumblr was NOT letting me post my drafts 😭😭 my poor therapist spent an hour watching me crash out about it najsjsshjjk

You were beautiful.

Of course you were.

In Jack’s eyes, you were the most beautiful creature to ever walk the earth.

Which is why he understands why you get hit on. He really does. Hell, once upon a time, he was hitting on you. And he still hits on you, even now, years into the relationship, because you’re worth it. Because you light up rooms without even trying. Because he’s always been a sucker for the way you roll your eyes and smile at his cheesy attempts to be smooth with you.

You’re beautiful and smart and funny, and you’re so effortlessly charming—of course people would want you for themselves. He gets it. He really does. And honestly, there’s a part of him that loves it. He loves that people notice those qualities about you, that they see in you what he sees every day. It feels like validation, like the universe itself is confirming that he’s the luckiest guy alive. He basks in the knowledge that no matter how many people give you those hungry looks and shitty pick-up lines, he’s the one you're coming home with, his hand resting possessively on your hip as he gives all those people a smirk, his claim laid without him even lifting a finger.

What he doesn’t love is when people don’t take the damn hint.

And you give a lot of hints.

Take this guy right here—Dave, or Doug, or whatever his name is—He’d somehow wiggled his way into the booth you guys shared with your friends for a night out and, while he seemed harmless at first, he was now solely focused on you. And your legs that were highlighted by the body shimmer Jack helped put on you earlier tonight (his fingers still slightly shimmering to prove it—a badge of honor, in his opinion).

You’d been giving him that polite, fake smile since he joined in—the one Jack knows so well and that always makes him chuckle, the one you use when you’re being patient but are clearly not enjoying yourself—and you’ve barely paid him any attention, save for a few fake laughs and an “Oh, that sounds cool” every so often as Darren, or Dino, continues to brag about himself, not even trying to ask about you (a grave mistake, Jack thinks, since you were the most interesting person he knew).

Jack wonders if this guy even realizes you’ve been leaning against Jack this entire time, your head on his shoulder and his hand resting on your upper thigh, or if he’s chosen to ignore that in favor of trying (and failing) to shoot his shot. Better yet, does he even recognize Jack is here, drink untouched and jaw tightening as he watches Danny (or was it Dylan) lean in just a little too close?

Jack glances at you. You’re still handling it with grace, of course you are. You always do. But he knows you. He sees the subtle tension in your shoulders, the way you lean further against him to put some distance between you and Dexter, the way your fingers tighten around your glass, and he knows you’d rather not have to deal with this.

He shifts slightly and stands, leaning forward to smile at the intruder, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Hey, Diego, right?” he says. His tone is casual, even pleasant, but there’s steel underneath it.

“It’s Dave, actua—”

Jack extends a hand, cutting through the guy’s attempt at small talk. “Right, yeah. Sorry to interrupt, but I think my girlfriend and I are gonna go dance now.”

He puts an emphasis on girlfriend, just to make sure this guy gets the point.

Jack gives you a soft look, the kind that makes your breath hitch just a little, and you immediately stand up, reaching for him. His arm wraps around you instinctively, his touch steady and familiar. You can already feel the tension in his body lessening now that he has you close, now that he’s leading you away from whatever-his-name-is and back into the safe, easy rhythm of you and him.

But before you can leave, the guy speaks again.

“Sorry, man, didn’t realize she was yours. You know how women are. With that dress and those legs, she was totally leading me on.”

Jack freezes.

For a second, the world seems to pause, almost like he couldn’t believe what was coming out of this guy’s mouth, like he didn’t want to believe anyone could be that stupid.

Slowly, he straightens, turning back toward the guy—Dave or Doug or whatever his name was—with a look so calm it’s almost serene. Too calm. And that’s how you know Jack is angry.

Not the playful kind of angry, where he pretends to pout when you steal the last fry or kiss him everywhere but his lips. Not the frustrated kind, like when he can’t find his keys for the third time that week or when he’s had a particularly bad game.

No, this is something deeper. Colder. Controlled.

His fingers graze your arm lightly, a small, grounding touch meant just for you. It’s subtle, but you know what it means. I’ve got this. You don’t need to lift a finger.

Jack tilts his head ever so slightly. “You wanna say that again?” His voice is so even it borders on soft, a quiet thing wrapped in steel.

Dave—or Dino or Darryl—seems to think Jack is inviting him to elaborate, which is perhaps the worst decision he’s made all night.

“I’m just saying, y’know,” Dave shrugs, his tone shifting to something almost conspiratorial, like he thinks Jack might actually agree with him if he just explains it better. “When women dress like that, you can’t blame a guy for—”

“Yeah, I’m gonna need you to shut up before I do something we both regret.”

Jack doesn’t raise his voice. He doesn’t have to. The weight of his words alone is enough to send a ripple of silence through the space between them.

Dave blinks, the beginning stages of intimidation creeping onto his face. He glances at you, as if expecting backup, but you’re already leaning back against the wall, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised as you watch Jack dismantle him.

There’s a small smirk on your lips. Because this? This was a sight you didn’t get to see in public too often.

Many times, people assumed your lovely boyfriend—so easygoing, so effortlessly charming—would lack the sharpness to cut someone down when needed, would stick to uhmms and ahhhs and crassness.

They mistook his laid-back nature for passivity, his warmth for softness. But you knew better. Your Jack could be quite a wonder with words when he wanted to be. He didn’t need to be loud to command attention. He didn’t need to throw a punch to land a hit.

So you hang back and let him handle this one, finding comfort in the thought of his arms around you later, his breath warm against your ear as you danced the rest of the night away.

“Listen, buddy,” Jack continues, stepping closer. His tone is light, almost conversational, but there’s no mistaking the edge beneath it. “You don’t talk to anyone like that. You definitely don’t get to talk to her like that. You hear me?”

“God, c’mon, man! No need to get all—”

“I already told you to shut up.” Jack’s scowl deepens. His words are slow, deliberate. “The fact that she was polite enough to give you the slightest bit of attention doesn’t mean she was hitting on you. Whatever you thought was going on tonight? Not an invitation.”

Dave—Dino? Derek?—opens his mouth, probably to dig himself into an even deeper hole, but stops when Jack leans in slightly, just enough to make his presence feel heavier. Like a storm cloud about to break.

“She’s kind,” Jack says, voice quieter now, deadlier. “So she tolerated you. But she doesn’t owe you a fucking thing.”

The last of Dave’s bravado starts to crumble. His shoulders inch inward, his gaze flickering around the booth, searching for an exit, for reinforcements—for anything that might save him from this moment.

Jack watches him for a second longer, then exhales sharply, like he’s already bored. “You think being desperate and cocky gets you the girl,” he says, shaking his head. “But I don’t need any of that to keep her by my side.” His fingers brush against yours, finding their place like they always do. “And we don’t need to waste any more time entertaining douchebags like you.”

Jack steps back, his hand sliding fully into yours as he finally tears his gaze from Daniel? Don?—who cares?—and looks at you instead. The shift is immediate, his features easing, the sharpness in his eyes softening into something familiar. Something yours.

“Let’s go, babe,” he says simply, his voice lighter now, more like himself.

And just like that, the moment is over.

As you stand, letting Jack guide you away from the booth, you hear Dave mutter something under his breath—something weak and defensive that doesn’t deserve acknowledgment. It’s the kind of parting shot people throw out when they know they’ve lost. Neither of you glance back.

The music swells around you, the bass thrumming beneath your feet, but Jack doesn’t lead you straight to the dance floor. Instead, he pulls you toward a quieter corner, away from the crowd, where the lights are dimmer, the world a little smaller.

He exhales, then wordlessly nestles his head in the crook of your shoulder.

You smile, running your fingers through his hair, your nails lightly grazing his scalp. He sighs at the touch, his arms slipping around your waist as he lets himself melt into you for just a moment. You press a soft kiss to his hair, breathing him in, grounding both of you in something steady, something real.

After a beat, he tilts his head up, a sheepish grin playing at his lips. “Did I go overboard?”

You roll your eyes fondly, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “You were absolutely perfect,” you murmur, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.

His grin widens, boyish and bright, and just like that, the weight of the night lifts. He tugs you closer, his arm tightening around your waist as he starts to sway you to the music. You laugh as he spins you unexpectedly, sneaking in kisses between the DJ’s transitions, his lips catching your temple, your jaw, the curve of your shoulder.

The man who bothered you is forgotten. The tension, the sharp edges of the night—gone.

All that’s left is this. You and him and the music. The warmth of his hands on you, the sound of your laughter melting together, the rest of the world fading into nothing.

[covenofagatha]

Do I wanna know? (Part 1)

Sequel to But you're my stepmom!

Picks up a few months later after your dad and Agatha get divorced and you've started college

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: fingering, mommy kink, slight angst

Fuck. You do not want to do this. 

It’s a Saturday night and you’re here. You should’ve said you had anywhere else to be, but instead, your car almost gets hit as you turn the corner in possibly the narrowest parking garage you’ve ever been in. It makes you swear and you stomp on the brakes so quickly you think you might have a bruise from the seatbelt. 

But luckily, you find a spot on the first floor and squeeze between two other cars, muttering a silent prayer that you don’t scrape against them.

You wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans as you get out and walk into the lobby of the apartment complex. 

It’s nice, although you hate to admit it. You would surely not mind spending more time here if it didn’t mean having to see—

“Hey, sweet pea!” 

Him. You look to your right and plaster on a fake smile when you see your father standing there, slipping his phone into his pocket. 

“Hey,” you say softly, awkwardly patting his back with a hand as he embraces you. 

He had been asking to get dinner with you at least once a week for the past few months since he and Agatha got divorced. You’ve always found an excuse to get out of it — you had homework, you had exams, you had to work over the summer and you were so tired — but now that it’s your first weekend in college and he knows that you don’t have anything going on, he insisted. 

Plus your mom had sort of asked for you to go at least once. Your dad has been sending you updates about his apartment search and random internet posts that he found funny, and having lived at home all summer, you’ve kept your mom in the loop. She is still obsessed with him, always finding ways to bring him up in conversation, and you wish you were brave enough to tell her to just move on. She was absolutely ecstatic when you broke the news about him and Agatha and she’s been pressing you for updates ever since. 

Part of the reason she wanted you to go see him was to scope out his new place and see if there was any sign of a new woman. There was still no sign about the lady he was having an affair with, so you weren’t sure if things had ended. 

And when he moved out the first time, he took your mom’s can opener and she still won’t let it go. Before you left, she texted you that if you saw it, you should steal it back. 

After the divorce went through, your dad had decided to sell the house and look for an apartment a little closer to his work, and he’s lived in this place for about a month now. 

“How are you? How’s it going?” he asks as he leads you to the elevator. He presses his fob to the button inside and then floor six. You remember him being so consumed with having one of the top floors, like that would make him seem more important. 

You shrug and pick at the peeling skin on your fingers. It’s a bad habit — one of your many. “Pretty good. Syllabus week has been a breeze. Made some new friends.”

“Classes seem like they’ll be fun?” he asks. 

“Yeah, I hope so.” 

And then a tense silence falls over the both of you. You haven’t actually seen him since your graduation, which was a whole other level of awkward with your mom there too, and you both know that the two affairs and two divorces has put a strain on your relationship.

It does hurt a little. You wish there was a way you could reach over the cold gap between you and go back to how things were when you were a kid, when you actually liked being around him. 

But too much has happened. 

“Well, I’m really glad you were able to come down for dinner,” he says and you smile tightly. “I can’t wait to show you the place and then we can get whatever you want to eat.” 

The elevator dings and you follow him to an apartment a few doors down and he unlocks the door and lets you go first. 

The floors are a laminate gray, the counters in the kitchen marble white with black pendant lights over the peninsula. The refrigerator is stainless steel and there’s a completely stocked wine cooler fridge built into the cabinets next to the stove. You walk past the kitchen into the living room where the couches from his and Agatha’s house are set up around an entertainment center with a fireplace and a blue rug under the coffee table. 

“What do you think?” he asks, stepping next to you and putting an arm around your shoulders to bring you in close to him. 

You take his fancy bachelor pad in again. “Yeah, it’s pretty nice. Maybe just pizza for dinner? We can order and watch a show or something?”

Staying in and having the television as a buffer is a much better plan than going out and having to make small talk that will end up with him on his phone anyway. He agrees and calls to order the pizza while you perch on the couch and scroll on your phone. You already have a text from your mom telling you to call her when you’re done and your chest tightens at the thought of all the shit she’s going to say. It’s fucking exhausting still being in the middle of this — you really thought it would get better, especially now that you’re in college. And yet, here you are. 

“So…” your dad starts, plopping down next to you with a groan once he gets off the phone. He grabs the remote and turns the TV on. “You like your roommate?”

Your roommate, Alice Wu, is a sweet girl from out-of-state. You think that you and her will get along just fine and you’ve already agreed on all the rules of cleaning and having friends over. The first week has gone well and you’ve gotten close. “She’s cool. I think she and I will be good friends.” 

He nods and turns on a show you watched awhile and the two of you sit in awkward silence until the pizza guy rings from downstairs. You excuse yourself to the bathroom after your dad rings him in. 

The bathroom is through the bedroom and you take careful note of the sheets still strewn all over the bed and the two pillows at the top. One nightstand is cluttered with a phone charger, earplugs, a lamp, and a picture of you on your graduation day in a silver frame. It tugs at your heart and you instantly look away, not wanting to feel any more nostalgia. 

However, on the other nightstand, there’s just a matching lamp. No hair tie, no other chargers or personal belongings. 

But that stuff is easily hidden, so you go into the bathroom. One toothbrush, one retainer case, one razor. You can’t tell if you’re disappointed or glad. 

At least you won’t have to listen to your mom talk endlessly about a new woman. 

Your dad already has a plate with two slices on it for you sitting in your spot on the couch and you dig into it, suddenly famished. The atmosphere does warm up over time, and it’s no longer uncomfortable silence and you do end up talking a bit about his work and more about your school while the TV plays.

He doesn’t bring up your mom or Agatha at all, and neither do you. In a way, it’s nice to be removed from them for a few hours. Your dad has been villainized by both of them — and obviously he fucked up — but he is still your dad, despite your complicated feelings toward him. 

After a few episodes of the show, you shift to get up, grabbing your plate. “You’re leaving already?” he asks and checks his watch.

“Yeah, it’s getting late and I should really be getting back to the dorms,” you say, trying to sound apologetic. Even if the bubble has been nice, you have somewhere you need to be. 

It’s hard for your dad to hide his disappointment, but he gets it and grabs his keys to walk you down to your car. 

“How’s, uh, how’s your mom doing?” he asks. Still putting me in the middle of all the imaginary drama she’s creating with you is what you want to say. But you know that he’ll call her out for it and you’d have to deal. 

“She’s pretty good. Work’s been keeping her busy.” A safe answer. A true answer. 

“Good,” he says and shoves his hands into his pockets and you know what’s coming next. “And Agatha? Have you seen her at all?” 

Imagines of her hot body on yours flash through your mind. Her rosy nipples, her pale stomach, the heat that swallows up her eyes. “Yeah, I’ve seen her around. She’s doing all right, too, I think.”

Your dad nods and stops at your car. “Well, I had a great time with you,” he says and holds his arms out for a hug. You mutter something in agreement and give him an embrace with two pats — the way you’ve done it since you were a kid. “Let’s do it again soon.”

He tells you that he loves you and after you say it back, you get into your car and he watches you as you drive away. 

Begrudgingly, you call your mom and put her on speaker and not even a second later, her voice fills your car. 

“How was it? Did you see anything? Is there another woman? Did you find my can opener?” she asks all in one breath and you take a silent, deep breath. 

You can’t wait to be home. “It was a pretty nice place actually.” Your mom snorts. “There wasn’t any sign of someone else there and I didn’t have time to look around. We just watched a show and ate pizza.” 

She makes a sound. “Wow, father of the year. Maybe he cleaned up the place before you came over.” You hum noncommittally. “What are you doing tomorrow? Want to come over? I’ll take you grocery shopping.” 

“Yeah, let me just check my schedule. Alice and I might be doing something, but I’d love to go there for a bit. Especially for groceries,” you tease and she laughs. 

“I bet your father didn’t even offer to do that,” she says smugly and your face falls. Sometimes you wonder if she does half the things that she does for you just to one-up him. 

“Okay, well I’m almost back now, so I’ll let you know when I’m coming over tomorrow,” you tell her, eager to wrap it up, and about to turn in. “Love you.” You hang up before she’s even done saying it back. 

Once you park, you text your roommate saying that you won’t be back for the night — staying with family — and walk up to the apartment side door, letting yourself in with the fob on your key ring. 

Agatha’s apartment complex is smaller than your dad’s, but just as nice, and you prefer it a lot more. 

After the divorce, she stayed in a hotel for about a week before signing a lease on a place about ten minutes away from where the house used to be. You had helped her pick out the furniture and spent more time here than at your mom’s house the last couple months of school and she gave you a key to it the day she moved in. 

It got harder over the summer to hang out with her, as you worked at an ice cream shop in the afternoons into the evenings and she was working her normal nine to five, but you made it work. 

Things are really good between the two of you. There isn’t exactly a label on it, per se, but you both know that it’s a relationship. And without your dad in the picture and with her not being your stepmom anymore, there isn’t as much of a need to keep sneaking around — so when she puts an arm around you while you’re walking down the street and kisses your cheek when you say something cute and ghosts her pinky against yours, it’s okay. 

You know things might change a little with you in college now, but you’re ready for it. And if you spend more nights at her place than at your dorm, so be it. It’s not like anyone’s going to know, and Alice will just think you’re staying with family. 

Unlocking the door, you can practically feel the tension seeping away from your body. Agatha makes everything feel better. Even the house you grew up in, the one your mom still lives in, doesn’t feel as home as this does. 

You don’t see her when you first walk in and you walk into the living room to see her typing something on her computer, brows furrowed, and you can just make out the glint of a document through the reflection of her glasses. 

“Hey, you,” you greet, kicking off your shoes. She startles and looks up before slamming her laptop shut and smiling. 

“Hey, honey,” she says and pats the spot next to her while she leans forward to place her computer on the coffee table. “How was it?” 

Agatha had emphatically listened to your incessant complaining about having to get dinner with your dad, but in the end she had also pushed you to go. You groan and flop onto the couch, situating yourself so that your head is in her lap and you’re looking up at her. “It wasn’t that bad,” you admit and she smirks. “Don’t even think about saying ‘I told you so’. I will leave.” 

She tosses her head back with a laugh and you play with the strands of hair that’s falling over her shoulder and teasing your face. “I would never, darling. But I’m glad it wasn’t bad. How is he?” 

Your nose wrinkles. “Can we not talk about my dad? Although, I was just thinking about how much of a reward I deserve for going.” 

“Oh, you think you deserve a reward, do you?” she ribs lightly, raising an eyebrow and poking you in the stomach. You giggle and twist away from her finger before sticking out your bottom lip as pitiful as you can and giving her doe eyes, nodding your head. She rolls her eyes fondly. “What were you thinking, honey?” 

You shrug like you’re just now beginning to think about it. “Well, mommy,” you say, a thrill running through you at her sharp gasp. “I think since I was such a good girl, you should give me an orgasm.” 

“Oh, just one?” she asks playfully, and you surge up out of her lap, turn over onto your knees to face her, and pull her in for a kiss. Your lips move against each other with familiar ease, her tongue licking hotly into your mouth and you moan — her hands slide up under your shirt and rest on your bare skin before you reach down and take it off. 

“As many as you’ll give me, mommy,” you pant, and she grins before starting to suck open-mouthed bites onto your chest. You’re wearing green lingerie but she barely even looks at it before unclasping your bra from behind and tearing it off, throwing it somewhere on the floor. 

She swirls her tongue around your nipple before suckling hard and you whimper, holding her head right against you. It feels like there’s a wire running straight from your boob to your cunt and you quickly feel yourself becoming soaked. Agatha switches to the other one and soon your entire chest is sticky with her saliva and you’ve moved onto her lap, squirming. 

Her teeth nip at the underside of your breasts and you can’t take it anymore. “Mommy, please,” you beg, grabbing her hand and leading it to the waistband of your jeans. Her fingers rest there while you quickly unbutton and unzip and then you shove her into your pants, your hand circled around her wrist to just feel her. 

Agatha chuckles throatily and moves her fingers experimentally against you while you try to grind down for some stimulation. You suddenly feel so empty, a molten heat between your legs, and Agatha crashes her lips back onto yours. She sucks on your tongue and tugs on your bottom lip as she finally presses against your clit and your hips jerk. “So wet for mommy, aren’t you?” she huffs and you nod and try to move against her harder. 

When she finally pushes your underwear to the side and runs her fingers through your folds, you keen and bury a hand into her hair, face dropping down into her neck. She sharply gasps when you start breathing heavily against her skin, content to just keep your lips planted against her throat. 

She slides a finger into you and your walls clench around her, trying to draw her even more in. Each time she fucks you, it feels like the first time — the same energy is there, the same electricity. But at the same time, she knows exactly what you need, maybe even more than you do. 

Her thrusts begin to pick up and heat is rising through your body and you can see little indents in Agatha’s skin from where your teeth have slightly sunk in. 

“Mommy, mommy — please, I need more,” you whine and she obliges by pushing another finger into you and curling them just right. A high-pitched sound leaves your mouth and you start riding her fingers the best you can, rolling your hips to match her and get her even deeper. You’re clenching furiously around her as sparks begin to fly in your lower stomach and you can feel the beginning tendrils of your orgasm start to build. 

Agatha’s thumb circles around your clit without actually touching it. “God, sweetheart, you look so hot right now, taking my fingers like such a good girl. You feel so good, too. Never wanna leave you,” she babbles, making you convulse even tighter. There’s a slight pink tint to her cheeks and her breathing has picked up and you know she’s affected too. Her fingers are moving faster and she pauses for just a moment, making you whimper, before she stretches you out with a third. 

“Oh, fuck,” you swear, your walls adjusting, and the slight burn only adds to the immense pleasure you’re feeling. “Fuck, fuck.” Your head is spinning, completely drunk with her and her perfume that’s been invading your nostrils the whole time, and you can’t even form a single thought. 

She presses harder on your clit and with the hand that’s not currently inside you, grips your hair and pulls you away from her neck. You can see red blotches staining her skin and the thought of her wearing your marks around gets you even closer. “Look at me,” she grunts, her thrusts becoming more sporadic and you stare right into her dark blue eyes with your pleading wide ones. Your breaths intermix and she looks like she might also cum just from this. 

Agatha lets out a strangled gasp when her gaze flickers from your eyes to your swollen lips to your breasts that are bouncing with your movements in her lap. 

“Mommy, I need — right there —” You can’t even string together a coherent thought and she scissors her fingers inside you, the pressure making you see stars. 

She looks you up and down again, drinking you in like she might never get enough, and her chest heaves with each breath she takes. “Fuck, baby, you’re so perfect,” she groans and your head falls back as you keep riding her. “I need you to cum for me, okay? Cum for mommy.” 

“Mommy, fuck, I’m gonna — fuck I love you,” you groan, not even realizing the words slipping out of your mouth, the words neither of you have ever said before, before it’s too late and your orgasm explodes through your body in a way it never has before. You feel it in every crack and crevice inside you and she keeps fucking you just as hard while rubbing your clit and it quickly becomes too much, tears springing into your eyes. 

Agatha’s fingers finally slow down and she coos sweet nothings in your ear and you wonder if she even heard you. It’s been a few months since you’ve been together, but neither of you has really acknowledged the depth between you. 

And you just did, in the middle of sex. 

“You okay?” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek and you nod before she pulls out of you and you wince at the sudden emptiness. You fall back out of her lap onto the couch. She must not have heard it. 

There’s a slight gnawing feeling that begins to grow in your stomach — if you said it for real, in a moment that couldn’t just be blamed on a dopamine rush, would she say it back? 

Does she feel the same? 

Agatha kisses you before sticking her three fingers into your mouth so you can clean them up. “Good girl,” she purrs in a low voice. “Was that a good enough reward?” 

You’re still a little out of it, but you nod dazedly. “Yeah,” you say softly and she gets off the couch and walks over to the fridge to get you a glass of water. “My mom wants me to go hang out with her tomorrow. What are you doing at night? Can I come over after?” 

She pauses for a fraction of a second and then glances at you over her shoulder. “Um, sorry, baby. I have to work all day tomorrow. Some last minute things I’ve got to get done.” 

You hum, a little disappointed, but graciously accept the water. “No worries. Maybe Monday or something.” 

“Yeah, of course. Just a second, I need to go grab something,” she murmurs and then walks into her bedroom. You’re exhausted and you get off the couch, stretching your aching muscles, and you’re about to follow her when her phone buzzes on the end table. 

Thinking it’s just a work email or something, you glance at it and your stomach drops, heart lurches. 

It’s a text message from an unknown number. 

Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. 

@lostbutlovely33 @diorrxckstar @whoreforolderfictionalwomen  @katekathry @onemansdreamisanothermansdeath @tayasmellsapples @natashashill @mybraininblood @mysticalmoonlight7  @cactuslover2600 @loveem0mo @readysteddiero-nance @lonelyhalfwitch @lesbiantortilla @crescendoofstars @sol-in-wonderland @ahsfan05 @gbab09 @sasheemo @agathaharness @live-laugh-love-lupone @chiar4anna @fuckedupforkhahn @lowlyjelly @sweetmidnights

[totalswag]

raw next question? pt 2 ⎯ RAFE CAMERON!

authors note the amount of support i got on my last fic is unbelievable, thank you so much. i tried my best for part two so i hope you guys like it. so, here you go 👀. raw next question

taglist ✎ ̼ if you would like to be notified every time i post you will type in your username then be all set to go.

masterlist

summary after leaving a comment under rafe's post, he responds back showing interest and reaches out.

warning(s) flirting, kissing at the end, cuteness, and meeting rafe for the first time.

rafecameron: hey! bold move, I think we should talk.

The only thing running through your mind is⎯what the actual fuck. To be fair, you were expecting a response or comment, not even a dm. You don't know what to say.

"Okay, we need to think of something to say because," you hesitate for a few minute, "yeah, I don't have anything to say" you trail off before stretching the back of your head.

Zoie lets out a breath: "I say we wait to respond then once we come up with a response, send it to him."

Five minutes later, you open your phone, click on the text, and begin typing a reply. "This is what I'm going to respond with," you say, pointing to your phone to the girls. 

yourusername: hey haha, thought I’d hop on the trend. didn’t expect you to reply tho.

Two minutes later, he responds.

rafecameron: oh, so I’m just part of a trend? damn, i thought i was special... 😔

yourusername: haha so funny, rafe

yourusername: i admit though you're attractive

rafecameron: ahh the truth comes out huh

rafecameron: since we're speaking the truth, you're gorgeous

Rafe and you started conversation among other topics. One of the main things you two found out is that you live an hour away from each other. By the end of the week, you exchanged phone numbers.

After Rafe responded to your comment, you two started leaving sly/flirty comments on each other's posts that spiked conversations between your supporters.

They're messing with us right?

They keep playing eye tag... HOLLA AT YO BOY!!

"Would you like to meet up sometime?" Rafe asked casually over FaceTime while searching the kitchen cupboard for something, his phone resting against a glass cup. 

It's been a month since Rafe and you have been texting and calling. Constantly texting⎯quick responses. It became a routine for the both of you. Learned a lot about each other in a span of a month.

Your back was against the headboard as you sat on your bed. He wants to meet you in person, and your eyes almost pop out of their sockets. "Yeah, I would like that," was all you could offer.

Peeping over his shoulder, Rafe chuckles quietly and smiles. "I'm thinking this weekend if you aren't busy?" "I would drive to you," he says, suggesting.

You raise your upper body off the headboard and reply, "I'll send you my address the day before, I'm not doing anything this weekend."

"Perfect!" He smiles.

Today was the day⎯Rafe and you are meeting for the first time. Nervous and excited about all this. You don't want to make a fool of yourself. Rafe was forty minutes away, in the meantime, you were on the phone with Zoie and Evenly.

Rafe offered to drive to visit you, and you couldn't help but be anxious. He was an hour away, yet his attempt to see you meant more than you could express.

"Bitches I'm shitting bricks" you confess feeling anxious, running your hands down your thighs, walking around the kitchen.

"Y/N, it's normal to feel this way especially since you're meeting him for the first time. Take a few deep breaths and if you need anything from us, we're one call, and few doors down" Evelyn reassures you in a soothing tone.

"Agreed, you got this, it's normal to feel this way," Zoie expresses.

"Thank you, you two are such great friends, I love you so much" you say with honesty, your phone buzzes, you put your phone back.

rafe: five minutes away

you: perfect, see you soon!!

You gasps, quickly putting your phone back to your ear, "he's five minutes away um, I'll text you guys throughout the day."

Once Rafe got to the apartment complex, you walked down the stairs to where he parked⎯he was getting his bags from his trunk. You were amazed how tall he was too.

Before you can say anything, he turns around and says, "Hey, Y/N," with a smile that conveys how happy he is to see you.

Seeing him in person made you realize he's even more handsome. Rafe couldn't keep his eyes off you, he couldn't help but think how he's standing infront of someone as beautiful as you.

"Hey, Rafe, It's good to see you" you say, taking a big breath and gazing up at his towering body. You grin and lean into the hug. The height difference between you two is insane. He

"It's great to finally meet you; you're even more beautiful in person," he says to you, smiling. You chuckle softly at his compliment, "thank you handsome" and smile.

After arriving at your place, you show Rafe where everything is and where he will be staying—either your bed or the guest bedroom, which has been thoroughly cleaned and sanitized. 

Rafe was happy to see your apartment and commented on how well it matches your vibe. He took his time looking around the apartment. Since you were already ready for the day, you spent ten more minutes in the apartment before heading out.

You have no idea what the plan was today. Rafe intended for a lasting and enjoyable day. You persisted on showing him around, but he said he wanted to be the one to take you places, even if he didn't know where. 

"This is has been such a great day, thank you Rafe" you tell him with full honesty as you two get settled to play mini golf.

He looks up from the floor and responds with a kind, sincere smile, "I'm glad you're enjoying it." "I remember you mentioning you loved mini golf too."

He is able to recall the small details.

Your heart sank to your feet since no male has ever recalled the small information you shared with them. As you playfully nudge him, you exclaim, "I can't believe you remember that."

He chuckles, "I'm just good at remember."

Mini golf was a lot of fun, with plenty of laughs and competition between you two. In the beginning, he noticed your concentration and took out his phone to record you until you spotted him flipping him off.

Towards the end of the night, Rafe and you drove to an ice cream shop and ate it outside. You had little conversations and learnt more about each other today.

Before putting a scoop of his ice cream in his mouth, he says, "We should make a tiktok."

After contentedly leaning back in your chair, you decided to do it. In addition, many who support you have been wondering if you two will ever cross paths. They're going to be amazed.

she knows remix slowed.

Rafe began lip-syncing, his expression playful and undoubtedly attractive. When it got to looking like the Fourth of July, you're officially coming with me, he switched the phone to you. You were already staring at him, eyes full of admiration, unable to conceal the warm smile on your lips.

The camera returned to him, and he tried not to chuckle, tilting his phone downward as he giggled. The final second of the video showed your arms wrapped around his neck.

rafe cameron: 👀

tagged yourusername

Fans were blowing up the comment section.

⇾ fan23: DO YOU SEE THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HIM!!

⇾ fan12: you know you have thirty minutes

⇾ fan1: i decided if i want y/n or rafe 😔

⇾ fan3: im sat for this

By the time you returned to your flat, the tension had grown to a point where it could no longer be ignored. Rafe took a step closer as you paused nervously by your door. His hand softly stroked your cheek, his gaze seeking yours, before he asked, "Is this okay?"

You barely had time to nod before his lips touched yours, gentle and languid, like if he was savoring the moment. The kiss was pleasant, but it also hinted at something deeper.

When you eventually pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours, chuckling. "Best decision I ever made was replying to that comment."

"Best decisions I ever made was commenting" you softly say, smiling.

⎯⎯ my taglist! 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

✰ if you would like to be added to my taglist and be notified whenever i post please let me know in the comments or in my ask box. if there's a line across your name that means i couldn't find your account

@chenslucy @rosezza @mymultiveres @rafeyslamb @runningfrom2am @whorelaud @drewsephrry @drewizz @diqldrunks @starkeyvhs @percysley @francislovergirl @kiiyomei @sukuna-wafiu @skyslowalking @kneelarmhstrung @inthelibrarybtw @liliumz @lovingsturniolo @xoxosblogsblog @darkacademictrash @claudiamoscatoo @starkeysturniolo @ratgirlcunt @drewstxrky @eddxemxnson @raewontgoaway @definitelynotdomanique @isabellaxlilah @inlovewrafe @kravitzwhore @rafespreciosa @yanna2coolz @minyoon23 @stevesxwhore @bxmaaa @skywalker0809 @pwertiies @6r4cie @ifwfratboychris @sjmalfoy19 @dolletebun @drewrry @babypoguelife @fdl305 @outerbanksloverp4l @thesunflowersociety @earth2fae @sfotiegiuls @drewwhor @my-name-is-baby @alexxavicry @sparklyananas @yesshewrites1 @stxrz

[bloomstream]

omg hii bloom!! i love your works so much so can i request

headcannons 4 mha boys /w their cheerleader girlfriend !!

⋆˚࿔ cheer fever

synopsis: being the mha boys cheer captain girlfriend! (,,>﹏<,,)

— includes: kirishima + kaminari + sero (in that order)

𓂃　♪　𓈒 cw: f!reader, fluff, established relationship

𓂃　★ 𓈒 a/n: wait i love this request too it’s so wholesome. no shinsou this time cus i can’t envision him here, sorry 😓

⋆˚࿔ e.kirishima

eijiro is your sweet jock boyfriend, making you the typical football player x cheerleader couple.

following this trope; your boyfriend is so obsessed with seeing you in his variety jacket. literally gets cuteness aggression and pinches your cheeks.

eijiro LOVES when you’re in your cheer uniform. everytime time he sees you in it he fumbles over his words trying to explain how good you look!

he gets so flustered when he sees you cheering for him on the sidelines. it gives him so much motivation knowing your cheering for him.

after a game he runs straight to you and spins you around, kissing you alllll over. “we did it!” he believes you give him all the strength he had to play (you do).

walks you home after cheer practice.

one time you got him flowers to celebrate his last game of the season. when he saw them, he cried because he got you flowers too! the biggest sweetheart ever.

half of his post on social media are of the both of you after games! he always posts on his story letting people know that his team will be playing and that you’ll be cheering as well. he’s so supportive.

⋆˚࿔ d.kaminari

denki is a loser, everyone knows. so everyone is also confused on how he bagged the most attractive cheerleader in the school.

he brags to EVERYONE about you, it’s a bit embarrassing, but still charming.. “oh yeah, my girlfriend!? she’s the cheer captain!” (no one asked)

forces his friends to come to games so they can help him support you. he’d bring a huge sign with glitter and your name spelt with macaroni while screaming “that’s my girlfriend!!”

still a flirty dork; “need help with your stretching exercises?” randomly asks you to do flips and splits because he genuinely thinks it’s cool.

tried to learn how to braid hair so he can do your game day hair, but he’s not very good at it </3 still, he helps apply your glitter and lipgloss.

no need to hire a photographer because denki will take an album full of photos of you when you're cheering.

after games he gives you a big hug and kisses the crown of your head. “another amazing job, you never miss.” he’ll also take you shopping after special occasions.

+ wore your cheer uniform as a joke once but ended up really liking it on himself.

⋆˚࿔ h.sero

chill boyfriend x cheerleader girlfriend: you guys are a power couple.

hanta was kind oblivious about cheer at first so he does a lot of research to make sure he’s supporting you properly. and he does it every time; chocolates, flowers, and small gifts.

when you tell him he had the body and muscle to be a cheerleader (mostly joking) he freaks and offers to help you practice. he quickly becomes your spot when you're practicing at home!

hanta is obsessed with hearing the drama going on between you and your cheer team, “no way she said that! seriously, she needs to pick a struggle.”

carries all your makeup and equipment wherever you need it.

fixes your bow/skirt and gives you a big smooch before each game. if he notices that you’re nervous before a performance he’ll give you the silliest pep talk to make you laugh. “go out there and show them what you got, yeah?”

when you’re studying together, he’ll beg you to ‘cheer’ him on. sometimes you decide to give him that pleasure just to see that wide grin on his face.

[menlove]

queer paul tome pt 1: everything not related to john

okay i've been saying i'd make this post forever and it's uh. long. so i decided to split it up into four parts so i can get this first bit out and let it stop haunting me and so it's not 50 miles long.

feel free to add your own if it's not here or shoot me an ask and i'll add it :)

disclaimer: i'm not definitively saying sir paul mccartney is queer. i mean i really firmly think he is but it's all just speculation. also, if he is, there's obviously a reason he's not out about it & he deserves to have his privacy respected. i just personally find the dominant narrative in the fandom & even in larger spaces that poor pining queer john was in love with tragically heterosexual paul completely unconvincing and neeeeeed to be insane for a minute here

if this pisses u off u can simply scroll on by i do not need an essay in my notes. make your own post if you disagree.

(paul doing this for whatever reason in beverly hills, 1974- also the same trip he saw john on bc sure i guess)

this doesn't include lyrics as the main argument bc i saw a post ages ago basically saying there's nothing outside of them and lowkey i took that as a challenge because there's SO much outside of his lyrics that point to him being queer.

that being SAID, this is going to be split into four posts: not john related (most important and thus first bc there's so much documented about mclennon & john being queer, but not paul by himself), john related, paul's relationships w other men (these ones aren't all like... concrete and that's why they aren't included here but w all the context that'll come before it his relationships to certain men are..... interesting), and finally lyrics last bc some of them you genuinely can't just ignore

part 2- john related part 3- other men part 4- lyrics (those will have links once i actually make them)

also, i'm sure people have made similar posts before- i haven't seen them (other than this one an anon sent while i was writing this up which is sooo interesting but does have a lot of dead links) but if you have one you want to share feel free!

time to get into it. i'm avoiding homework by doing this.

(sidenote: not including instances of him just flirting w men bc body language can be read a lot of different ways- but if y'all wanna add any i know they're a dime a dozen like w george m., mal, random reporters, robert fraser, etc)

1- "Just kidding, Linda..."

REPORTER: You're a very, very good looking man. PAUL: [sits up straighter, making a sort of campy gesture towards the crowd, turning into a point] Get that boy's name. [Drops his hand, smiling and leaning his cheek on his hand.] Just kidding, Linda. REPORTER: [unintelligible] PAUL: What? REPORTER: I said- do you have a secret, looking so nice for fifty years? PAUL: [grins, resting his chin on his hand again and batting his eyelashes] Yes, it's the drugs, you know.

(originally posted on here by @northernsongspeels who hasn't been active in a while) this one is so crazy to me. he's so obviously flirting with that man and he's apologizing to linda for flirting with that man. like it's a conversation they've had before.

2- "Yes, boys."

this video (originally posted by @ilovedig here)

PAUL: Yes, I think the main difference is that when you are that age- which I'm sure you remember, Tom- TOM: It's back there in the dim distant past, yes. PAUL: When you're that age, that's the kind of thing to do. I mean, what you're doing is you're going 'round and you're basically looking for girls or whatever turns you on and stuff. So, uh, yeah, I- TOM: Well- well could you give me the alternatives to girls? Are there others? LINDA: [scoffs] PAUL: Yes, boys. TOM: Oh! No.

3- "He's so good looking."

Paul McCartney first read the name and saw the photo (for weeks there was just one crazy photo of Elvis available in Britain) during a free period at Liverpool Institute. Again, it was a friend with the NME, and there was an advert for Heartbreak Hotel. "I thought, 'He's so good looking,'" Paul says, "he just looked perfect." Mark Lewisohn, All These Years Vol. 1 Tune In, sourced from the Anthology TV series by Lewisohn.

4- "A Nice Person Girl"

this fun little interview... (originally posted by @amoralto idk why the archive.org capture of it looks funky but the audio is still there) take it w a grain of salt bc it can also just read as a homophobic joke but like.

August 22nd, 1966 (Warwick Hotel, New York): As DJ “Cousin Brucie” Morrow conducts brief interviews with each of the Beatles, one by one, he asks Paul to settle the rumours that have been circulating in the press about the status of his relationship with Jane Asher. MORROW: Moving over here to Paul – someone just handed me a card. I guess this is… [focusing] Last year, when you were on my microphone here— PAUL: Ask me something about Rick Sklar. MORROW: Rick Sklar? That’s my boss. JOHN: Ask Paul about Rick Sklar. MORROW: Uh, Paul, last year when you were on my microphone, I think somebody – one of your staff – announced an engagement of you and Jane. PAUL: Uh… MORROW: Do you remember that? It was announced on the air. And then I remember we said something on the air and then thousands of people from the street went, “Oh.” What is it with you and Jane now? How – what is your relationship? Are you planning a marriage, planning an engagement, are you just boyfriend and girlfriend, what is it? Tell us the whole thing. JOHN: [mutters; inaudible] PAUL: Uh. We’re just queer, that’s the scene. [uproarious laughter in background] That’s the scene. Well I mean, I couldn’t say that on the air live, you know. JOHN: No, you’ll get into trouble for it. PAUL: No, the thing is, Cousin Bruce – um, we haven’t got plans to marry yet, you know. That’s the point. And that business about somebody saying we were engaged, nobody actually said it. It was just another one of those things where someone says, “Are they engaged?” and they said, “Well, whatever it is… [muttering]” “Yes, folks, they’re engaged!” And it wasn’t true. MORROW: Well, I’m sure there are a lot of girls who are very happy with this. What would you look for, in a girl? Say you did eventually want to settle down, what would you want to – what kind of girl would you like? What would you – what would you like in a gal you wanted to marry eventually, bring home to Mommy? PAUL: Uh… Female hormones. MORROW: Female. What’ll you go for, any – what, blonde, brunette, what? PAUL: Uh, you know, anything. Anything. Girls. It doesn’t matter if they’re blonde, brunette, or anything, as long as they’ve got it. MORROW: Would you want a nice person – what? A beautiful nice person girl. PAUL: Yeah, you know. A nice person girl. (transcription directly from @amoralto, bold mine)

and again this one COULD just be a lil homophobic joke but idk man his tone here is very different and the fact that he says he couldn't say that on air & john says he'll get in trouble is just. interesting. it's Interesting.

5- "A 26 year old queer never to get married."

Half an hour later it was very quiet, except for a few sobs, and then we decided that we had to see him just once more. We opened the gates and walked slowly in. Someone rang the doorbell. Waited, no one came, rang again. Rang again. Paul answered. We just stood there. God what do we say? "Yes, what do you want?" he said, as if we'd just come to borrow sugar. C. ran out. Someone asked if it was tomorrow, and he said, "Tomorrow." It went quiet again. "What's this - Heartbreak Hotel? What do you think I am a 26 year old queer never to get married? Oh, stick around kids!" We just looked at each other. Oh God, Paul, what have we done now. All we wanted to do was stand there and talk awhile. What was the point in shouting at us like that? We stood there, tears falling but there was no sound. "Apple Scruffs Come to Dinner" by Andrew Bailey, 1970 (x), bold mine

again, like the last one, this one is very... i think he was absolutely being homophobic here, but it's a very telling outburst. like he's yelling this harsh enough to make these girls cry.

6- Harry Harrison's "gorgeous tan"

moving onto this wild quote from many years from now by barry miles about george's older brother (bold mine):

"George Harrison’s elder brother Harry had been to Christmas Island and arrived back with a gorgeous tan in his army uniform and we thought, My God, he’s been made a man of. You used to see this quite regularly, people would be made a man of."

7/8- gender neutral language

let's get into some interesting gender neutral language he uses. now, would this be Particularly compelling with a modern celebrity? not really. but most people his age really don't talk gender neutrally unless it's to be vague On Purpose. like this bit from many years from now, where before this he'd been using exclusively "girl" and "she/her" pronouns talking about hookups, it suddenly shifts to very purposefully vague (bold mine):

With a lot of those people I met and related to, albeit for a short time, I've mercifully forgotten them and I don't really remember what went on, thank goodness. There may have been a few drinks involved and I was a little merry and, you know, you slip back to someone's flat... My main feeling really is one of relief. You do feel like some of it was outrageous. But I'm glad to have had a slightly outrageous period in my life, as long as it didn't hurt anybody, because I'd always felt maybe my character was too careful. I think the great thing was I never had any deep, dark secrets. That's what the papers wanted. They wanted me to be hiding a little Miss Whiplash somewhere, and for the flat to be in my name. But it was never that. It was always a one-night stand with whoever was around and wanted to party.

this next one take w a grain of salt bc the source Is cited but looking it up online only brings up tumblr blogs. the source does seem to exist but i'm being so real i don't care enough to go and buy the source but if anyone wants to and wants to fact-check it have at it. bold mine:

Favourite Drink: If I could only choose one drink it would have to be water. When I’m a bit hung over that’s all I can take. But I still like a Scotch and Coke. I can’t overdo it any more. Four’s my maximum, four and I’m anybody’s. (official program booklet for The Paul McCartney World Tour (1989-90): Lifelines. (1989))

what's also interesting about this one is it's when him and linda were married, which gives some credence to the rumors that they maybe had an open relationship (men or not). it also makes me think of the "just kidding, linda" thing lmao. she can't take her husband anywhere or he's going to be fagging it up the second he gets 4 drinks in him.

9/10/11- the "binary" (ft. a bit of john)

this infamous quote from the lyrics in his section on "hello goodbye" (bold mine) (x):

I'm attracted to the binary. I state that quite casually, but I think there’s actually a lot more to it than my just saying, ‘I’m attracted to the binary.’ Once you get down to the scientific biological level, in my core, I probably am the binary. All of us are probably more binary than we might realise.

context being that when he says "the binary" he means duality. there's a lot of interesting stuff going on in this article, though there's some more john related stuff i'll add here too bc it's super fascinating (sorry, easier to go here than the john section!):

‘Hello, Goodbye’ shows off a binary that we took great advantage of in The Beatles. With regard to John Lennon and myself, the great attraction we had for each other was that we each had a bit the other didn’t have. John could be quite cynical. I was his opposite, in that respect. [...] I think there definitely was a sort of ‘hello, goodbye’ about John and myself. But we loved it. We loved it because John could contribute his caustic wit and I could contribute something more upbeat. Not always, we each did what the other one did from time to time. But if you had to break it down – and though it is a bit crude to say so – there was a binary tension at the heart of our songwriting together.

12- big guys at the gym

onto something more lighthearted and also just ridiculous (x):

"If I'm in a gym and all the big guys have got big weights and they're doing all the big stuff, at the end I do a headstand," he said. "And they come over to me [and say], 'That's pretty impressive man.'" ["78-year-old Paul McCartney’s fitness routine includes headstands and yoga with Alec Baldwin" by Cory Stieg]

13- gay dreams

this infamous quote which i have a bit of a different take on that i'll expand on in a sec (bold mine)

My view is that these things are there whether you want them or not, in your interior. You don’t call up dreams, they happen, often the exact opposite of what you want. You can be heterosexual and be having a homosexual dream and wake up, and think, “Shit, am I gay?” I like that you don’t have control over it. But there is some control – it is you dreaming, it is your mind it’s all happening in. In a way my equation would be that my computer is fully loaded by now. Maybe in younger people there’s a little bit of loading to go, but mine’s loaded pretty much, so what I try and do is allow it to print out unbeknown to me. And I’m interested to hear what it’s got in there. (interview by Karen Wright for Luigi's Alcove, 2000) (x)

a lot of people use this to point to him being oblivious, which i do get, but i want to focus more on the line "it is you dreaming, it is your mind it's all happening in". like he seems interested and fascinated by the revelations we have in our dreams- hardly repressed or scared.

14- royston ellis' "break me in easy"

we've all been over the royston ellis poem and i don't want to just retype out everything that's already on this post so go check out @eppysboys' post on the royston ellis poem!

but tl;dr a bisexual friend of theirs in liverpool, royston ellis, wrote this poem called "Break Me In Easy":

Easy, easy, break me in easy. Sure I’m big time, cock-sure and brash, but easy, easy, break me in easy. Sure they’ve been others, I know the way…

which is about gay sex. he also told the boys that 1 in every 5 men was gay and paul worried that it might be him (this was back in 1960). he still remembered it line for line by 2006 which is just insane. all the sources for those are over on the linked post.

15- woody pecker

originally posted by @didwemeetsomewherebefore here (links to my blog bc the wayback machine was not cooperating right but as long as it stays up you can find the original here!)

PAUL & DONOVAN: How to suck a lollypopper, Sitting on a woodypecker, Dancing in the double-decker shoe, I don’t know, So, how do you do? PAUL: I don't know how you do it, Lordy, knows I try But every time I try to do it, My whole darn tongue gets ti(r)ed

this one is just so sillyyyyy and cute but it's just so full of innuendo like sucking on a lollypop and sitting on a woody pecker and your tongue getting tied (tired?) when you try to suck the uh lollypop. giggling his way through it with one of his boy best friends donovan too.

16- "i heard he was gay"

this fun little quote from body count by francie schwartz:

When the rotation of bike, gun, and other diversions left me alone with Billy, his first words were, "You went with Paul McCartney, didn’t you?" "I bet you just love it when people ask you about your father, don't you?" He was surprised, he half-frowned. "No, really, what's Paul like? I heard he was gay." "He might have gone that way, but he didn't. He really didn't dig fucking all that much, if that's any kind of an answer."

note here though that francie is a notoriously unreliable source on paul. she hates him and honestly makes some pretty homophobic digs at him & others pretty frequently. so it is interesting that she denies he's gay, but says he might have gone that way. given how short of a time they were together and how weird their relationship was, i wouldn't really expect him to be open about that with her- still, she noticed something there too.

17- homosexual handbook

paul was mentioned in the homosexual handbook by angelo d'arcangelo in 1968 under a list of famous homosexuals. it's very tongue in cheek and says this "may just be wishful thinking on (my) part"

and obviously not proof as the book takes a very playful and unserious tone. he does provide this little disclaimer though, which i think is interesting:

Some of the men on this list are self-acknowledged homosexuals. Some are not. All of them are generally thought to be gay. However, as many family men and notorious womanizers appear on these pages, we must—rather than question their forays into either or both sexes—congratulate them on their obvious virility.

because once again like... WHERE are these rumors about paul being gay? because the rest of this list, as far as i can tell (ngl i did not do a deep read there) are men who have/had gay rumors about them or were gay. this comes up more in the john post as well, but i seriously need to know just how many rumors there were about him being gay.

18- "the female hordes"

It was always obvious Brian was gay and we could talk to him about gay things, but he would never come out with, 'Hello, Paul, you’re looking nice today.' I was quite obviously un-gay, due to my hunting of the female hordes, and I think we all must have given the same impression. There had been a suggestion since that John had some homosexual thing with Brian, but I personally doubt it. All the intimate moments we shared were always about girls. (from Anthology)

i know putting one of his "un-gay" quotes here is counter intuitive but listen i have genuinely never heard a gayer thing come out of a man's mouth than "hunting of the female hordes" it sends me to fucking mars every time i read it. that's the most closeted shit i've ever read in my entire life. it sounds like what a gay man would say trying to come up with something a straight man would say. and i think paul's bi, he just desperately wants me to think he's never gotten pussy a day in his damn life with this quote.

as a side-note, "all the intimate moments we shared were always about girls". now what do you mean by that man..... like shared as in verbally told stories? or do you mean it was always about the girls when you guys were...... intimate? because those are two really different things and i need to know what the hell that's supposed to mean

19/20- this poor man just wants to flirt with and kiss men can we let him

okay tumblr has nerfed me and won't let me add any more videos from tumblr but there's a video of drunk paul almost kissing ringo jokingly. posted by @stewy here and as long as it's up you can reblog it here- thank u for the contribution to my red stringing lmfao

pringo for once thank god but. i don't even have anything to say except to point and think of a slur. drunk as hell flirting with your best friend what's better than that.

and then this whole interaction between paul & elton john where they kiss on the mouth

and i could so buy that this is a straight man and gay man just being comfortable together except well see above and see the other posts but also paul's very much adapting a softer, "campier" tone around him and calling him babe/darling in a very, again, gay way. not as in he's gay For elton john lmfao but this is how to old gay friends would greet each other do you see what i mean do you understand me......

anyway that's the end of part 1 join me next time (whenever the fuck i decide to avoid doing homework again um) this man has sucked a dick i'm so sure of this. (not really don't sue me for libel paul love ya)

[endykelopaedia]

This does still ignore that we don't have to choose one avenue or another when it comes to the intersectionality of this topic.

This post is about misandry being a bad "avenue" for sociopolitical analysis, not about "choosing one." you'd know that if you read the post.

I recognize in my experience as a latino that latina women don't experience the demonization that i do simply because of my gender.

and thats your fucking problem. First Of All you aren't even black so why are you here on my post on anti-blackness like this (and i did notice how you replaced all discussion of black people and anti-blackness with "poc" to get your nasty foot in). And second of yall YES THEY FUCKING DO. You really think being a woman of colour saves you from the racism you experience for their race in any meaningful way? You obviously a misogynist but you might actually be stupid too. Idk how long u lived as a woman or man but maybe go ask your grandma or sumn if being a woman made being latine easier. My exact problem w this misandry shit is how easily it becomes for you people to simply not think abt the women in your community and how obviously misogynistic it is to think their experiences of discrimination and violence must be softer than yours bc shes not a man. choke. moving on.

The darker you are, the more pronounced the fear surrounding you becomes, but it is also amplified by how masculine or feminine your gender expression is. I don't quite agree that "projected hypermasculinity" is the only cause of this.

i think its awesome that this non-black dude thinks he's in the position to explain colourism to me now. Also, I didn't say it was. You'd know that if you Read The Post.

for many poc, they are often in the cross hairs of white-enforced gender binaries. Many people in positions of power [even other poc] will use gender as a violent means to police us, often seeking to turn our own expression of gender against us.

you ever notice how in turning our gender expressions against us, there might be a pattern of projecting violence and aggression (traditionally masculine traits often praised in non-black people), that isnt actually there? This is masculinisation. This is racism. You'd know that, if you read. the post.

This intersection is important to acknowledge and I think very overlooked when poc trans macs like myself have been begging people to listen to us.

Ok. I'm a black i mean poc transmasc. Listen To Me! you are actively talking over what im sayin and barely listening bc it challenges the validity of misandry, a word that has apparently done soooo much for you, and me too obviously, given the nature of this post that you definitely read.

Also the section on adultification is sound. But very strange claim that "black people aren't actually masculine!"

Didn't say this. In fact i also very explicitly said black i mean poc adults also experience adultification. Try reading the post again, and applying my logic that you say is so sound.

Like???????? What about those who are? I have black transmasc friends who have extremely different experiences than my black trans femme friends and I can tell you that it absolutely is about gender there.

thats crazy. you're gonna bring black i mean poc transfemmes into this when the murder statistics for black transfemmes look like this? i wonder what happened there... i thought femininity was supposed to protect femmes from racislised violence...

Everything intersects with race in these conversations of course but there are those of us who are trying to communicate more nuanced experiences.

so sick of yalls "but my unique experiences!!" whinging. fuckin grow up n read a book. you arent the main characters. there are socio-political forces above you shaping our oppression and i am talking about those! i'm not your mother!!! think abt society outside of your feelings for 5 seconds n then get back to me!!!

ALL men benefit from patriarchy just as ALL white people benefit from white supremacy just as ALL cis people benefit from cisnormativity just as ALL rich people benefit from poverty. you think you're being intersectional but you aren't! you're just absolving your ability to perpetuate or benefit from a certain system in your own mind because you too are marginalised. being a man does not create a unique intersection with your race because men, unilaterally, are not oppressed for being men, no, not even sometimes, no, not even when you're black i mean poc or gay or broke or trans. and you can still benefit from misogyny against the women who are just like you.

Masculinity does not equal power.

Yeah ok. neither does whiteness or cisness or money or nun. nothing equals power cuz anyone can be oppressed for any reason. get fucking real.

There is the similarity of not equating feminity with powerlessness.

erm actually... you're the real misogynist for noticing how women are systemically disempowered by men instead of uplifting femininity (by refusing to acknowledge that women are systemically empowered by men) I Am Very Smart.

And Finally, lets talk about these tags a mo.

"white" "american" and i am very explicitly neither white or american. easy to guess from the way i write this post. easier to confirm from looking at my god damn bio. and thats how i know you arent serious bc you really think only white americans utilise male privilege as a concept? yk the feminist you haphazardly snatched "intersectionality" from was a black woman explicitly naming the way that the misogyny she experienced from black i mean poc men and the racism she experienced from white women was rendered invisible by both groups failing to acknowledge the intersection she had of being both black and a woman? of course not. you're an idiot.

"black people are seen as hyper-masculine and face a lot of violence for it, so yes you can be oppressed for seeming or being masculine"

AHT!! lets talk! black people are not actually hyper-masculine. hyper-masculinity is a projection by people trying to justify anti-black fear and violence. it is not a true and then demonised observation about black existence. the hyperfocus on the masculinity of black people is itself racism!

when you call this issue of racism anti-masculinity or misandry or whatever, you are obfuscating the bigotry at play. ESPECIALLY given that it is overwhelmingly just white women's fear about black people's supposed hyper-masculinity that actually gets listened to & acted upon.

in addition, there are other addendums people tack onto their anti-blackness that completely cause this logic to fall apart when applied. Namely, adultification! black people, black children get adultified by white society.

We are assumed to be older & more independent, and thus less in need of the safety, care, sensitivity, accommodation one would give to a child, and this results in violence and neglect. it is directly observable in the way black children are more likely to get detention, suspended or expelled for the same behaviour as their white peers, s/a rates for black youth, and the arguments that 40 y/o cops give for brutalising & murdering black 20, 16, 12, 8 year olds who so much as breathe in their line of sight.

Given this then, following the misandry logic, we can say being recognised as older or as an adult is a form of oppression.

"black people are seen as older/more mature and face a lot of violence for it, so yes, you can be oppressed for seeming like or being an adult"

we can for the sake of this post name this oppression adultery.

i kid. but do you see the problem. being recognised as an adult is obviously, not itself a form of oppression, in fact quite the opposite, being recognised as adult can grant you a lot of privileges that children do not have.

and black kids are evidently, not adults or people who act like adults. they dont mature faster. black 18 y/os will also face the problem of adultification to justify violence against them. black maturity is not a true and then demonised observation about black existence. the form of oppression is racism, and adultification is the deployed means of enacting racism.

the means of combatting the adultification of black people would not come in creating adult positivity or "advocating" for adults or telling children not to fear adults. it comes in the form of learning about anti-blackness, unlearning anti-blackness, and actually directly combatting anti-blackness.

similarly the means of combatting the hyper-masculinisation of black people comes in the form of learning about anti-blackness, unlearning anti-blackness, and actually directly combatting anti-blackness.

Racism explains both of this phenomena far better than "misandry" ever could.

[skzhua]

episode 2.

MASTERLIST

pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female reader

genre: Fluff, angst, exes-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.

word count: 4.1k (not proofread yet!)

warnings: Cursing, post-breakup feelings, jealousy.

summary: while kitty explores her bi awakening, you try to navigate how to deal with being friends with min ho again, and it's not quite how you'd like it to be. especially not when stella is around.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

(let me know by filling the form in my bio if you want to be added to the taglist!)

"My world got so much bigger because of you and because of Simon," Kitty read as you and Q laid in her bed, as if she was reading bedtime stories to you both. "Jina has to know something about Simon. Why else would my mom mention him in her letter?"

"Yuri emailed her mom," you pointed out.

"Yeah, but Jina's at some wellness retreat and doesn't have any service," she sighed before grunting. "It is killing me to be this close to finding the guy that my mom was so in love with that she moved here against her parents' wishes..."

She kept on rambling on about her frustrations and wonders, meanwhile Q was attempting to make sense out of it. As for you, you couldn't focus much. Eyes on the phone, you were still hoping someone would text you any moment now. You got up from Kitty's bed and dropped yourself on yours, letting out a whine in the process.

"Y/N, stop thinking about it," Q said.

You shook your head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Kitty hummed. "So there is somebody more dramatic than me!"

You all heard laughs coming from the other room, and Kitty rolled her eyes.

"I guess Yuri and Juliana are still in their honeymoon phase, uh?" Q commented.

"They're always tickle-fighting!" Kitty exclaimed, a fake smile plastered on her face. "We basically have to tear them apart for curfew checks so the RA doesn't figure out they're a couple."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Oh, not at all! Their squeals of joy act as a helpful reminder for me to stay focus on my goals. It'll get rid of this silly little crush-"

Her alarm went off went off and she sighed in relief. "Thank God."

You forced yourself to get your butt up and yell "Okay, guys, break it up! Ten minutes until curfew check!"

"Thanks, Y/N!" they yelled back.

The three of you got out the room to lead Q out the door, only to be welcomed with the sight of Yuri and Juliana cuddling. While you were so happy for your friend, you couldn't help but feel bad for Kitty. I mean, you were pretty much in the same situation.

"You're really going to subject yourself to an entire semester of that?" Q asked.

"You know what they say," Kitty responded. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"

Unconvinced, he nodded. "Right. Something's telling me this is just killing you, though, so... Good night!" he waved at you both before walking out the door.

"Girls!" Yuri called out as soon as the door closed. "You're always hiding out in your room, come hang out with us!"

"Yeah, come distract us," Juliana added. "Otherwise, an RA might walk in and catch us making out."

"Oh," Yuri said in a teasing voice.

"Sure," Kitty responded, uncomfortable.

The couple began to tease each other with jokes and stuff, making you both even more uncomfortable. They ended up deciding to hide in their bedroom, and so did you in yours. Assuming Kitty would follow, you let the door open. When you noticed she wasn't coming with you, you turned on your heels to head back to stopped yourself as soon as you heard Yuri's voice. You were never the kind to eavesdrop, doing it a little wouldn't be so bad, right?

"What about you? You going to bed?" Yuri asked.

"Soon," your friend replied. "Y/N and I are just going to wait for Stella to get home. She's on her big date with Min Ho."

Your heart tightened as a short silence fell between your friends.

Yuri was the one to break it. "I don't know why Y/N gave her his number."

"Well, she was pretty mad at him. Maybe it's her way to move on."

"But they were getting on so well at the barbecue the other night. I'm sure I even saw a spark between them."

"You heard Y/N, though. He did some fucked up shit."

They were right. Why did you give her his number if you were hoping so bad he'd text you, telling you how boring she was and how he wished you were there to save him?

That text never came.

Chores. That was your punishment for staying with the boys last semester. In the end, you were also discovered to be one of the roommates, hency why you were mopping around a classroom with the whole gang: Dae, Q, Kitty... and Min Ho, of course. So far, avoiding Min Ho had been going pretty well. You caught up on a lot of stuff with Dae, such as how he had been dealing with the break up and how things were going at his place. You did manage to get your mind away from your problems for a short amount of time. It was also a good reminder that Dae was an excellent friend.

"You're avoiding him," he nodded his head towards Min Ho.

You shrugged. "Maybe."

"He really does feel bad about your argument."

You let a breath out. "I know that you're trying to ease things between us, and I appreciate it. But I want to heal in my own way first."

He smiled apologetically. "I get it."

And as if the world was doing everything in its power to make your life miserable, the man in question decided to mop right at your feet. And as to make any worse, the guy was intentionally poking your feet every two seconds. While you glared at him as a sign to stop, he could only smile lightly, and do it again. The silent interaction went on for a few minutes, until he cleared his throat, grabbing your attention.

"I'm just not that into Stella."

Your eyes grew bigger. "Pardon me?"

"I mean, she's cute. Don't get me wrong. But, maybe she's a bit too nice?"

You scoffed. "Is this where you're the playboy wanting to corrupt the good girl, and you're just mad because you're not getting anywhere with her?"

He threw his head back, letting a laugh out. "Please, I already did that with you." Instant blush. "I just think she's boring. Why are you so focused on my love life anyway, pup?"

It took everything in you to not let it show you were hearing exactly what you wanted to hear. "You tell me, you're the one who brought it up. But to answer your question, I'm not," you faked his accent.

"I actually miss the two of you bickering like this," Dae commented, reminding you he had been there the entire time.

"Am I still the only one who's irritated by her?" Min Ho groaned. "It's her and Covey's fault that we're cleaning the building for my dad's vanity project."

Q chuckled. "Guys, there could be way worse punishments. Like your dad forcing everyone to take one of his arts electives. Except for me! Your boy got an exemption. The star of KISS' track team needs to focus on getting gold at regionals."

"I'm taking Entertainment Management," Kitty informed.

"Yeah, same. Kind of sounds interesting," you affirmed.

"Me too," Min Ho said as he winked at you, making you blush again. "It's the only one without singing or dancing."

"I signed up for Advanced Voice," Dae informed casually.

Kitty turned around slowly, doubt on her face. "You sing? How did I not know this?"

"Because we were long-distance, and it's weird to serenade someone over the phone."

"I think we should hear something," Q encouraged as the four of you positioned yourself to be his audience.

"Now, like, here?"

"No, next year," Q joked.

"Yes," you and Min Ho said in unison.

"I wanna hear it," Q said.

"Yes, right now," Kitty rushed him.

In an instant, Dae jumped on top of a desk amd began to sing his heart out. Frankly, it was one of the prettiest voices you've heard. If this was his hidden talent, who knew what else he was capable of? The fun was cut short once Principal Lee walked in the room, visibly bothered byt the concert.

"This is a punishment for secretly living with Ms. Covey and Ms. Park last semester." At the sound, you straightened your posture, now face to face with the principal. "No fun!"

The moment you thought you were done for, Min Ho's father walked in with some of his employees following behind. You exchanged glances with Min Ho, who shrugged as to show he was as perplexed as you were.

"Okay, kids, you're dismissed. My cleaning crew will take care of it," Mr. Moon announced, Principal Lee shaking his head in disapproval.

"Wait, you can't overrule me on student matters."

"Renovations must begin today to stay on schedule, unless you also want my donation delayed."

Mr. Lee paused before his shoulders dropped in defeat. "Students, you're dismissed. For today."

The adults left one after the other until only the five of you were left in the room once again. It was a matter of seconds before you exploded in laughter, feeling somewhat relieved as well.

"I have never seen anyone talk to Professor Lee like that," Dae commented.

"I mean, he kind of ate," Q added.

Kitty squealed. "Mr. Moon forever!"

Min Ho let out a chuckle before he went on to gather the cleaning materials. You grabbed some yourself and left with him to put them back where they belong. You wanted to speak, say something. Only, nothing came to your mind that was slightly interesting. Even less after learning he had close to no interest in Stella. For the few eye contacts you had, small smiles were exchanged. But again, nothing more.

As your aunt told you, you stopped by her office before going to your Entertainment Management class. While you were having a harsh return, you did realize you hadn't visited her since school started. Knocking at her office's door, she immediately yelled for you to come in. As you stepped in, you immediately noticed the bags beneath her eyes.

"Are you killing yourself with work again?"

She might have looked exhausted, but she didn't let it stop her from laughing at your comment. "I'm trying to slow down, but you know me. And with Jina gone, things are working out differently this semester."

"Tell me about it... The curfew checks are getting annoying."

She nodded, and then picked a letter up. "I'm glad you came. I wanted to show this to you."

You took the piece of paper from her before reading the information on it. Frowning, you held it up to her again. "It's not addressed to me, it's for you."

"I know, but it's from your father. While cleaning this week, I rediscovered it and thought you might want to have a look at it."

Your expression softened and you took her hand, grateful. "Thank you. Anyway, I just wanted to see you a bit and let you know that things are settling down."

"I'm glad. Have you seen Min Ho? Seriously, that guy is handsome! What a shame it had to end."

You rolled your eyes. "And that is my cue to leave for class."

You could hear her from behind as you left as she was trying to either apologize or reinforce her point. Either way, you were far too gone to hear any of it, and you went to join Kitty at the cafeteria. Phone in her hands, she was trying to contact another retreat center in hopes Jina would be there. You started to walk and she mindlessly followed, phone now glued to her ear. They didn't answer until you reached class.

"Hey, could you connect me to Jina Lim's room? She's a guest at your resort," she spoke but her disappointed look was all it took for you to understand the call went nowhere. "Oh, my mistake. She must be staying at another property. Thank you."

As she hung up, you patted her shoulder. "You'll get a hold of her. Want me to ask Yuri?"

She groaned. "I did already, but she can't even reach her mom herself, so I guess it makes sense I'm not getting anywhere."

As you scanned the room to find a seat, your eyes landed on Stella, who just happened to be sitting next to Min Ho. The class you were almost excited to attend was now definitely the one you'd hate the most. Still, Min Ho gestured the seat next to him so you allowed yourself to take the spot, and Kitty sat on your other side.

"Hey, do you know who our teacher is?" she asked the pair.

"I'm just glad I won't have to perform. I'm still scared from playinh the donkey in m church's Nativity play," Stella replied. "But I'm guessing, you know, with your dad, you'll have a record deal, blockbuster movie out soon?"

You could only roll your eyes — though you did it mentally. She didn't know him, and it showed. Your inner comments were confirmed as soon as Min Ho opened his mouth.

"Yeah, not my thing."

"Imagine," you said in an ironic tone, making him chuckle lightly.

The door finally opened, revealing who your teacher would be. You were unsurprised to see Mr. Moon step in, as flamboyant as ever.

"Good afternoon," he greeted.

Min Ho' glanced at him for a second only to look at you with panicked eyes. "Oh my gosh."

"And congratulations. Out of all the new arts courses offered at KISS, you lucky few have stumbled into a masterclass." his dad continued.

"Masterclass, my ass," Min Ho said under his breath, you being the only person to laugh at his comment.

"But, I have news for you. Being a successful manager isn't something one can teach."

"Then why is this a class?" Min Ho commented once more, looking so done.

"It comes down to trusting your gut. And today, you will determine who will earn a spot in Advanced class and who will get their mic cords cut."

Kitty raised her hand. "Uh, Mr. MOON, i don't know enough about singing to be an effective-"

"Knowledge is do overrated," he cut her off. "My strongest opinions are on things I know almost nothing about."

"And that's my dad..." Min Ho sighed.

"I really wonder why you didn't want me to meet him," you joked only to receive a glare.

"Y/N, are you seeing the same man that I am seeing right now?" he gestured to his father.

"Yeah, an icon."

He huffed in frustration, but you could only laugh more at his reaction. As you were about to say something else, you met Stella's eyes. She was obviously telling you to back off. Who was she to tell you so? If anything, she should be grateful you gave her Min Ho's number even if he was your ex.

"Let's bring in the aspiring singers!" Mr Moon exclaimed.

Class went by quickly and, frankly, your feedbacks were written half-consciously. For most of them, you wrote some sweet comments with one or two flaws. Except for Dae, because he is a friend who just happens to be an excellent singer. At the end of the class, Mr. Moon went over everyone's feedback quickly — noting that Stella was being too kind and that Min Ho was a perfect critic — before class was dismissed.

"Y/N, you coming?" Min Ho said the moment the bell rang.

"Where?"

He shook his head in annoyance. "Just, come with me."

"Alright, my bad," you groaned.

Putting your belongings in your bag, you followed him out. You could hardly catch up to him as he was running out that room as fast as he could.

"Would you slow down?"

"Stop whining. I forgot how irritating that sound of yours is," he said in a huff.

"Well, why did you want me to leave class with you if I'm oh-so fun to be around?" you asked, growing impatient.

He stopped, making you almost run into his back. "Avoiding my dad and Stella. I feel comfortable with you so I guess you were my easy way out."

You took his hand — only as a friend — and rubbed it in a reassuring way. "You'll get through the semester just fine, I promise."

He let a chuckle out. "Well, if you and Covey are there, probably not."

You slapped his arm. "That's what I get for being nice?"

Satisfied his mocking worked, he laughed some more. "Is coffee going to make up for it?"

You perked an eyebrow. "Am I paying for it or-"

"On me," he said as if it was obvious.

Satisfied, you dragged him behind as you still had a grip on his hand. With a few protests, he tried to break away but gave in soon enough since you were clearly not going to let go of him.

Maybe he missed the two of you bickering like this as well.

It would have been a fun moment between you two if it wasn't for Mihee thanking Min Ho for getting into Advanced Voice which got Min Ho to go speak about it with his dad who kind of got into his head as he showered him with hopes and compliments... All that, and you had to follow him around like a literal lost puppy.

"I'll go," you said once you left his father.

He frowned. "What do you mean? We barely had time for ourselves."

"Exactly," you exhaled before clearing your throat. "I get this wasn't your fault, but I don't want to be your pet, following you while you do your stuff. That's what I did in L.A. and I don't it to happen again."

"Y/N," he tried to interfere but you didn't let him.

"And, please, let down Stella easily. She's nice, but she'll still give me death glares if you keep leading her on."

And with that, you left him there.

Kitty threw a dress on your bed... while you were laying in bed. You took the piece of clothing, looking at it up and down, and stood up to put it back in the wardrobe — where it belonged.

"Oh, come on!"

You threw yourself back on your mattress, pulling your phone out again. "I said I was not going."

"You're leaving me alone?"

You gave her a look. "It's a date, Kitty. The purpose of a date is to go one on one. Not with your friend as an extra."

She groaned. "But how am I not going to make a fool of myself?"

You shrugged, still on your phone. "Yuri and Juliana will be there too, no? They're getting ready as we speak."

Distressed, she took a huge pile of clothes from her drawer and dropped it on her own bed. "Help me out instead of making fun of my misery."

You ended up doing so because, well, you were her friend and you also did enjoy dressing her up. However, as soon as she was dolled up, you were back to being a couch potato. You didn't even hear the girls leave, and with Stella being gone wherever she was, you were left alone in the dorm.

Hunger got the best of you eventually, which made you check in the refrigerator what food you had left. Eggs and fizzy drinks were not going to fill your belly, so you took it upon yourself to change into a decent outfit. Once dressed, it was time to head to the department store near school so you could buy instant ramen for the hundredth time already.

Min Ho: Can we talk?

You saw the message, but ignored it. You had one goal in mind: food. While the fresh air hit you as soon as you opened the door, you got used to it quickly and rushed yourself to the store. Only then you spotted a familiar figure. Min Ho, again.

"For fuck's sake," you cursed under your breath as you tried to act as if you didn't spot him yet.

Thankfully, he was on his phone. You checked yours and he was, indeed, in the process of writing you another message. You almost found his attempt at reaching you cute. There was a lot of debating happening in your brain whether to text him back, come up to him, or even offer for him to go get food with you. The universe decided for you when his father appeared, walking furiously towards his son.

"Mihee dropped Advanced Voice," he said, anger spread through his entire body language. "You tipped her off, didn't you?"

"Well-" Min Ho started.

"You went around my back just to protect her feelings."

Again, you hated eavesdropping, but with how loud Mr. Moon was speaking, he didn't make it any easier. You poorly tried to hide behind a tree closeby. While you didn't like where this was going, you couldn't intervene. Not yet.

"I don't know why I thought you had what it takes to be a manager. I gave you a chance to step up and impress me," he continued, growing angrier by the second. "And instead, you threw it away for some loser who can't even sing."

"Don't talk to him like that."

Min Ho turned around and his eyes immediately softened when they landed on you. The words left your mouth without your knowledge, giving you no choice but to approach the duo.

"This is a private conversation between father and son."

"Well, you're a crappy father. Not just from what I am seeing right now, but also from everything I've heard about you. Min Ho does have what it takes to be a manager, more than you do with this tired Simon Cowell routine from 2002,"

You looked at Min Ho real quick to see if he would try to stop you, but he was speechless. Letting you steal the show, he was almost admiring you.

You took it as a sign to continue. "For a man who claims to have his finger on the pulse, you should know that bullying is so over, Mr. Moon. It's really a miracle you haven't been canceled."

His jaw clenched. "You certainly have a lot to say, don't you?" is all he said before taking off.

Not a sound could be heard after that. You didn't dare to look at Min Ho, not after the stunt you pulled. You had no idea what took over you.

"I'm sorry... I-" you started but left, embarrassed.

Only, you were stopped by a hand grabbing you by the arm. "No, wait," he said, turning your body to face him. "Y/N, where did that come from?"

"I don't know, it sort of just... came out? Seeing you being yelled at, I just snapped. And with everything you told me about him, I don't want you to suffer more than you already have."

He took both of your hands, grazing on your skin with his thumbs. "I've never had someone who'd stand up for me that way, so thank you."

You nodded shyly. "I just hope I didn't make things worse."

"You did quite the opposite. I think you impressed him. I bet he thinks you're a real badass," he chuckled. "It's a shame it's when we're not together anymore. He would have approved."

You didn't know what to respond, so you nodded again. "I should go, then."

His grip got firmer, a sign he didn't want you to leave. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Sure."

He gulped. "I'm sorry for kind of using you as some decoration I can bring wherever I want. That's never what you were to me and it will never be."

By default, your bodies kept getting closer to one another. Everything around you was like fog to you, there was only him and the sound of your heartbeat. A voice in your head told you to get away, to learn from the mistakes of the past. Another was screaming for you to play your cards right, and let him be back in your life again. In a word, divided. That's how you were feeling.

You raised an eyebrow, now curious. "What am I to you, then?"

"Hopefully, this."

Before either of you could process, you were kissing. It truly felt like your lips were meant to be together as they moved in sync. Your arms wrapped around his neck while his were placed on your waist. It felt... like home. And you hated that you loved it so much.

What you hated even more was seeing Stella behind him once you pulled away.

taglist: @melonshifts | @nanaspalette | @soobin-chois | @lenilla15  | @purplelandsworld | @smugrogerina | @jaehyunicecream | @thesassy-mia | @chaotic-world-of-the-j | @classicroyalty | @kpopsstuffs | @tinyelfperson | @yukichan67  | @moonminji | @sweetbokji | @walkietalkie333 | @necrozica | @xletsrunaway-together | @automaticpatroltragedy | @navs-bhat | @dragonwitchy | @jillsvalentinex | @world-wide-bhielat | @marina468 | @munsonsquinn | @spideylovin | @navyhua23 | @mintydump | @simplyy-dazed | @firstclassjaylee | @viviandarkbloom06 | @lifriman | @seseikoko | @rwbie

Copyright © 2025 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[lesbianherald]

so i know you're trying to process Coming Home being the top fic now but bestie are you aware that you hit 30k kudos?

ok. ok ok okok.

As a warning, I'm going to get really weird and personal here.

I got these this morning. Just like with the last one I have no idea what to do with this or how to appropriately deal with it lmao but to everyone who has been so nice - thank you. so much? this is a number so unfathomable to me that I've been trying to sit with it all day and simply cannot process it as real.

I don't want to care about numbers. I want to be super cool and chill and above that. but this is a really big one. and I think it also is really reflective of how big this community has grown. I've decided it would be odd not to acknowledge it.

This is one of the craziest, kindest, most lovely things that has ever happened to me. It feels so incredible and validating to know my work reached some people. That is quite literally all I want to do with my life. And now it feels like I might be able to with my own stuff. But its a lil deeper than that too. All the comments and support have genuinely been such an amazing balm during a really dark time in my life.

At the start, this fic was always a method of escapism for me. I've been under so much pressure in my real life. I'm in a really weird, really competitive transitional point. everything I write irl may make or break the rest of my career. It is a type of pressure I'm incredibly grateful and privileged to have, but still stressful nonetheless.

But then, as i was writing this fic, it became way more of a lifeline. Not to get too personal, and idk if people paid attention to my end notes, but if you did you'll note I fell victim to the ao3 curse last October in a really big way. I lost a dear friend of mine very suddenly.

Starting coming home was a way for me to write something just to write it, knowing that I could be myself and do whatever I want and just throw shit at the wall without worrying about anything. after my friend passed away, the escapism of it became that much more valuable. (btw I would not post about it were I not in a much better place with it so don't worry about me <3)

I feel like maybe it's important at this point to explain the meaning of all the support because I've genuinely been unable to express it in a way I find appropriate. every piece of art every sweet comment etc. etc. helped get me through this really weird, sad, shocking time. As "cringe" as it might seem... fandom and fanfic can be really meaningful, powerful, and connective.

All this being said. coming home was definitely released in the right time for this to happen. A multichapter released right before and during season 2 as well as in the months after? Like. It was primed for this a bit (not intentionally but still) So many fics that get posted now deserve the same amount of love and support.

I really hesitate with numbers. sharing them, abiding by them, gaining value from them. I also get nervous about how people will feel entitled to treat me because of them. But this is so insane it feels weird not to say a bigger thank you.

[melodyreads]

Matchmaker

hamzah x reader

summary: The reader's friend has been trying make a move at Hamzah ever since she started seeing his online personality. While the reader tries to be a supportive friend, her feelings seem to be getting in the way of things. What if he feels the same?

this came to me in a dream, hope y'all enjoy

---

"Oh my god I can't do this"

It had been like this for almost an hour now.

You and your friend Holly were in the bathroom of Mandy and Martin's apartment. Music echoed in the background as Y/n leaned against the bathroom door tapping her foot as she started to get impatient.

"Seriously girl, just go talk to him. It's really not that deep, you're making it harder than it needs to be."

Y/n didn't care if she was being blunt it was what her friend needed to hear. She had always prided herself on being a good friend. Always offering to be the DD. Always listening to the boy's problems no matter how often she recommended the friend should just break up with him. So after Holly begged her to try and hook her up with Hamzah, the answer would obviously be yes. Why wouldn't it be? Being straightforward and honest came easy, so why did she feel she was holding something back.

She gripped the door handle once more, "Just follow my lead, it's all gonna work out."

Holly let out a sigh of relief, "Seriously Y/n.. what would I do without you."

Y/n flashed her a reassuring smile before turning with a more serious expression flashed her face. Y/n knew that this was Holly's first time actually meeting Hamzah, but it definitely wasn't hers.

Hamzah had been talking to Y/n over Instagram DM's for months now. From casual replies to story posts to sending each other random memes, it was easy to determine they would get along once they finally met each other at a party.

It was almost intimidating how well they got along, Y/n admired all the effort he put into his channel and how well he managed it all. Turns out, thousands of girls felt the same way.

With Holly's hand in yours, you searched for a familiar face through the crowd until you ran into Mandy.

She turned around looking surprised, "There you are! I've been searching everywhere for you two." Mandy pointed behind her, the boys have been so obsessed with that karaoke machine, I should have never purchased it."

Y/n looked past Mandy to see Hamzah and Martin singing karaoke together as if it were a competition on who could make the most noise. Hamzah wore a pink colored shirt that fit him a little too good with a hat that allowed his dark curls to peak through.

"That's a inappropriate way to describe your friend" she thought silently.

Y/n thanked Mandy before walking up to the boys with microphones. As she approached them she could feel a slight tug on her arm as she turned around to meet Holly's worried expression.

"Don't worry" she mouthed as she continued her way over to the duo. Her heart seemed to beat harder as she reached out to touch the arm of curly-haired boy. Probably due to him being the subject of the night.

As he turned to look at you, Hamzah's face practically lite up at the sight of your face.

"Y/n! Where have you been?" He reached down and hugged you with his one free hand and still held the microphone in the other. "I kept asking Mandy about where you ran off to." Y/n chuckled into the embrace. "I wasn't even gone that long,"

"Felt like ages." He muttered. Y/n tried not to think about how just one arm completely wrapped around her waist and how his fingers dug into her hips just right.

Holly cleared her throat.

"Shoot" She almost forgot why she was here.

Y/n released Hamzah with a jolt as she stepped to the side to introduce her friend, "I wanted you to meet Holly. Holly this is Hamzah, Hamzah this is Holly."

"You said that already" Holly said softly.

"Did I? Well... you get my point." Y/n looked back to Hamzah to see him he was staring back at her almost in disbelief.

Hamzah blinked, as if suddenly snapping out of a daze. His usual easygoing smirk returned, and he turned to Holly with a friendly nod.

"Hey, nice to meet you," he said, extending his hand.

Holly hesitated for a second before shaking it, her grip noticeably stiff. Y/n could feel the tension rolling off her friend, and she silently begged Holly to just relax. This was what she wanted, right?

"You too," Holly replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Y/n talks about you a lot."

Y/n’s breath caught in her throat. Did she really? Before she could gauge Hamzah’s reaction, he chuckled, looking between the two girls.

"All good things, I hope?"

Y/n forced a laugh, ignoring the way her palms suddenly felt clammy. "Mostly," she teased, hoping to lighten the mood. "Except for the part where you butcher every song you sing."

Hamzah gasped dramatically. "Excuse you, I was putting on a performance. It’s about passion, not pitch."

Martin, who had been silently watching the exchange with an amused grin, finally spoke up. "Man, you’re gonna pretend like you weren’t just screaming into the mic?"

Hamzah shrugged. "I was creating a vibe."

Y/n rolled her eyes, but she was grateful for the slight shift in energy. She glanced at Holly, who still looked nervous but was at least smiling now. That was progress.

"Speaking of vibes," Hamzah said, tilting his head. "You’re acting different tonight."

Y/n’s heart skipped a beat. "Different how?"

His eyes searched hers, as if trying to figure something out. "I dunno," he admitted. "Just... different."

Holly laughed, breaking the moment. "Probably because she’s been hyping me up for this conversation all night."

Hamzah raised an eyebrow. "This conversation?"

Y/n winced. So much for being subtle.

"She thinks you and Holly would make a great match," Martin chimed in, completely oblivious to the way Y/n’s stomach twisted at hearing it said out loud.

For a split second, something flickered in Hamzah’s expression—too fast for Y/n to catch. Then, he smiled. "Oh yeah?"

Holly nodded quickly. "I mean, yeah. You seem cool. And I think we’d get along?"

It came out more like a question than a statement, and Y/n resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands. She wanted to help, but something about this whole situation felt... off.

Hamzah glanced at Y/n again before turning back to Holly. "Well, I appreciate the intro," he said smoothly. "But I gotta admit, I didn’t expect this."

Y/n frowned. "Expect what?"

He hesitated, then grinned. "You playing matchmaker."

Her stomach dropped. There was something in the way he said it, something that made her feel like she had completely miscalculated. Before she could respond, Hamzah lifted his mic again.

"Anyway," he said, turning to Martin. "We got a song to finish."

And just like that, the moment was over.

Y/n watched as he walked away, laughing as Martin passed him the next song choice. Holly exhaled beside her.

"That wasn’t terrible," she murmured.

Y/n nodded numbly, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something had just shifted. And she wasn’t sure if she liked it.

--

The night continued as if nothing had happened. Holly chatted away, occasionally stealing glances at Hamzah, and Y/n did her best to stay present in the conversation. But her mind was elsewhere.

She kept replaying Hamzah’s words in her head. You playing matchmaker.

Why did it sound like there was something more behind them?

After a while, Holly got up to get another drink, and Martin was too busy butchering the lyrics to some 2000s throwback to notice the way Y/n was zoning out.

That’s when she felt someone slide into the seat beside her.

"Hey," Hamzah said, voice lower than usual.

Y/n turned to him with a surprised look plastered on her face. "...Hey."

He exhaled, drumming his fingers on the table. "So... Holly, huh?"

Y/n forced a smile. "Yeah. She’s great, right?"

Hamzah tilted his head, studying her. "She seems nice."

There was something careful about his tone, something measured. Y/n suddenly felt exposed, like he could see right through her.

"You don’t seem convinced," she pointed out.

He let out a soft chuckle. "It’s not that." He paused, then shook his head. "I just—I need to ask you something."

Y/n’s stomach tightened. "Okay?"

Hamzah leaned in slightly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why are you trying so hard to set me up with someone else?"

Her breath hitched. Feeling as though she had just been accused of murder. "What?"

"You heard me." His eyes searched hers, serious now. "Is it because you actually think we’d be good together? Or because you’re trying to convince yourself of something?"

Y/n’s pulse quickened. "That’s not—"

"Because if it’s the second one," he continued, his gaze unwavering, "then I need you to tell me right now."

Y/n swallowed hard. The air around them felt heavier, charged. "Hamzah, I was just trying to—"

"To ignore this?" he interrupted.

She froze.

Hamzah ran a hand through his hair, as if frustrated with himself. "Look, I wasn’t gonna say anything. I thought maybe I was imagining things. But then you tried to push me toward Holly, and all I could think was—why would you do that? Unless you were trying to avoid something."

Y/n’s heart was pounding now.

Before she could react, he reached out, gently taking her hand in his. It wasn’t dramatic, wasn’t rushed. Just quiet, steady.

"Tell me I’m wrong," he said. "Tell me there’s nothing here, and I’ll drop it."

Y/n opened her mouth, but no words came out. Because she couldn’t say it.

"What would Holly think?"

As if he could read her mind Hamzah sighed and spoke again, "Can you please stop thinking about what everyone else wants and just tell me.. what do you want?"

Y/n felt a pang of guilt matched with a sudden urge to jump on top of the boy in front of her.

Hamzah exhaled, his grip tightening just slightly. "Y/n, I like you."

The words settled between them, heavy and undeniable.

She sucked in a sharp breath. "You—"

"I like you," he repeated, softer this time. "Not Holly. Not anyone else. And I think... I think you feel the same way."

Y/n felt like the entire world had just shifted.

Because, for the first time, she couldn’t run from it.

But she was done running.

Y/n placed her hand on the side of Hamzah's face and pulled him in for a kiss that made her forget about every person that could be watching around her.

He matched her vigor as their lips moved against each other with fever. His free hand grabbed at her waist as if it would disappear if he let it go for too long while his other hand softly ran up and down the arm still cupping his face.

Y/n broke the kiss with a shaky breath as she finally spoke, "I like you too."

The moment the words left her lips, something in Hamzah’s expression shifted. Relief. Something deeper.

"You do?" he asked, as if he needed to hear it again to believe it.

Y/n let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. "Yeah. I do."

A slow, lopsided smile spread across his face. "Then why were you trying to set me up with Holly?"

Y/n groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Because I was just trying to make everyone happy. I thought... I don't know, I thought the two of you might have got along and I figured that was more important than what I wanted."

Hamzah chuckled, tugging her hand away from her face. "You really thought that would work?"

She shrugged, feeling suddenly shy. "It was worth a shot."

He shook his head, amused. "Y/n, I’ve only ever had eyes for you."

She felt her breath hitch at these words.

"From the moment we met," he continued, his voice quieter now, "it’s always been you."

Y/n felt her heart squeeze.

And as he laced his fingers through hers, Y/n realized she had been waiting too.

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Exploring all of the main Yellowjackets ships (and what makes each of them so compelling)

In honor of everyone fighting about which ship is the best in this fandom, I wanted to do a rundown of each of the main Yellowjackets ships and why they are all so interesting and believable in their own ways. I am only going over the most popular ships in the fandom (romantic pairings with more than 100 written works on ao3), so sorry if some of your favorite rarepairs are missing! And if you’re looking for a post all about how these relationships are so cute and healthy, this isn’t it (except for maybe Taivan). I’m mostly going to talk about how toxic, tragic, and tumultuous they all are, because that’s what we’re actually here for.

Jackieshauna

Jackieshauna is all about possession (in the best, most homoerotically intense way). Their dynamic is fraught with contradictory feelings that somehow exist alongside each other. Shauna idolizes Jackie’s magnetic influence, but she is also deeply resentful of her. Shauna adores Jackie, but she’s also suffocated by her. She feels like can’t live without Jackie, but she also can’t stand living in her shadow anymore. Jackie cares deeply for Shauna, but she also needs to own her; she needs to be validated by her position of power over Shauna.

The queer subtext in their relationship is so strong that it almost doesn’t feel like subtext at all. From the longing stares and the constant, almost hypnotic closeness to the way they interact with each other, the line between platonic love and romantic obsession blurs to the point of becoming indistinguishable. Their entire dynamic reads like a suppressed, unspoken desire, with both women using Jeff (and Travis eventually) as a way of redirecting their intense feelings towards each other. Shauna’s betrayal with Jeff doesn’t just feel like a “best friend stole my boyfriend” situation—it feels like she wanted to be Jackie, to consume her, to get as close to her as possible. And Jackie’s reaction isn’t just about the betrayal; it’s about the fact that Shauna was hers, and suddenly, she’s not. Jackie is so devastated by the knowledge of Shauna sleeping with Jeff that she no longer believes in love and loses her will to live entirely.

Shauna’s grief over Jackie isn’t just guilt; it’s, once again, possession. She talks to Jackie’s frozen corpse, hallucinates their conversations, braids her hair, does her makeup, eats her ear. It’s as if, in death, Jackie becomes more hers than she ever was in life. I just can’t get enough of the line, “I don’t know where you end and I begin.” Shauna eating Jackie is the ultimate culmination of this. It’s an act of worship—taking Jackie into herself, keeping her close in the most visceral way possible. But it’s also an act of domination—Shauna, who spent so long being beneath Jackie, is now consuming her, overpowering her in a way she never could while Jackie was alive.

There are so many layers to Jackieshauna; it’s love, admiration, obsession, ownership, codependency, resentment, and jealousy all wrapped up into one severely intense relationship. Their story is so tragic because it’s full of unspoken things—words that were never said, feelings that were never acknowledged, and a love that was never fully realized until it was too late.

One word to describe them: Possession

Their best scene: Their last fight

"Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time. You're so fucking jealous of me you can barely breathe."

“Are you quoting Beaches at me right now?”

“No…”

"I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak. And I think that deep down, you know it. I’m sure everyone at home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they’ll never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are, or how high school was the best your life was ever gonna get.”

Taivan

Taivan is a peak golden retriever/black cat ship. Van is the golden retriever: loyal, endlessly optimistic (even in the face of getting nearly fatally attacked by wolves), and always trying to bring humor and lightness to situations, even when things are at their worst. She’s playful, affectionate, and follows Taissa around with unwavering devotion, even when Taissa is pushing her away or making choices that Van doesn’t agree with. This loyalty extends to Taissa’s sleepwalking, as Van’s support of her never falters even when faced with a darker, more dangerous side of Tai.

Taissa, on the other hand, is the ultimate black cat: fiercely independent, emotionally guarded, and always trying to maintain control, even when she’s clearly struggling. She’s skeptical, calculated, and reluctant to accept things that don’t fit her worldview. This initially translates into her relationship with Van, as she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, but you can tell she feels such a deep love for Van that keeps drawing her back in; unable to hide this softer side of herself. Van softens Taissa in the best way, cracking open that hard shell and allowing Taissa’s vulnerability and warmth to reveal itself. The most telling moment of this is Taissa’s willingness to enter Lottie’s spiritual circle to support Van. For someone as practical, skeptical, and grounded as Taissa, this is a significant sacrifice of her usual hard-edged pragmatism. But her desire to be there for Van, to show up in a way that is vulnerable and supportive, speaks volumes about the way Van has brought out a warmth in her that no one else ever could. Taissa’s love for Van is not just a passive emotion—it’s an active, deliberate decision to let go of control. The fact that she does this for Van is a testament to just how deeply she cares. And the Doomcoming “I want to see you” scene? That girl loves Van with her entire being.

In the adult timeline, Tai and Van cope with what happened in the wilderness in opposite ways. Taissa obsessively looks to the future and refuses to look back, while Van remains stuck in the past, refusing to move on. When they reunite in Season 2, they’re able to meet somewhere in the middle; a collision of the past and present.

It is clear that these two will do anything for each other, whether it’s fighting off a pack of wolves, tying themselves to each other at night, or going on life-threatening expeditions just to support each other. They are devoted to each other in any form. I can't wait to see them fuck on a table in the adult timeline in S3.

One word to describe them: Devotion

Their best scene: I ❤️ you (in blood)

“This is how you’re choosing to say ‘I love you’ for the first time?”

“You’re kind of leaving me hanging here, lady…”

“I love you, too.”

Lottienat

Lottie and Nat are classic narrative foils. They contrast so sharply with one another, yet in those very contrasts lie hidden similarities that shape their dynamic. Natalie was raised in a trailer park while Lottie was raised in a mansion, but they both grew up lonely and neglected by the people who are supposed to love them. Both of them feel alone and unloved, but where Natalie learns to toughen up and rely solely on herself, Lottie begins to seek connection in something bigger than herself—spirituality and the Wilderness. Natalie is the pragmatist/skeptic while Lottie is the spiritual prophet, but they both want what's best for the group. Lottie and Nat are arguably the two most compassionate, empathetic survivors, but they wield this empathy in different ways (i.e. Lottie offering Travis hope that his brother is alive, Natalie offering support through the grieving process as she guides him towards accepting his brother is dead). Together, they are two halves of a whole, each offering something the other cannot.

Lottie is both Nat's salvation and her undoing. Lottie offers Natalie the hope, purpose, and sense of belonging that she so desperately craves in her lowest moments, but in doing so, she inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events that ultimately leads to Natalie’s emotional and physical destruction. When Natalie is more alone and outcasted than she has ever been in the wilderness after the card draw, Lottie grants her the title of the group’s new leader. With this new title, Nat finally receives the love and appreciation she has always needed, but she also receives the burden of being in charge of (and therefore responsible for the actions of) a group rapidly descending into darkness, only intensifying the guilt and trauma she lives with for the rest of her life. When Natalie is on the verge of suicide, Lottie rescues her and takes her to her wellness community, which leads to Nat discovering self-forgiveness but also places her on the path towards her untimely death.

Their dynamic is defined by Lottie reaching out, trying to hold Natalie, to nurture and protect her, while Natalie fights and resists. The hypnosis/sharing shack scene is so important. It's Nat finally surrendering to Lottie (and all that Lottie represents). It's Nat allowing herself to be held (thinking of the way she lays her head in Lottie's lap, and the way she and Lottie are embracing each other as they dance around the fire), to be vulnerable and receive the love and care she never thought she deserved. It's so tragic that Lottie begins to spiral again just as Nat is beginning to trust her.

There are so many great Lottienat moments: the hint of pre-crash banter in "You don't talk shit unless someone really deserves it", Natalie comforting Lottie in the middle of the night when they sleep in the cabin for the first time, "Did you read that on a fucking fortune cookie?", Lottie always offering Nat her blood, Lottie's "I just want you to be safe", the iconic bathtub truce scene, the coronation scene with Lottie kissing Nat's hand and Nat looking up at her with awe and tears in her eyes, Lottie keeping tabs on Nat over the years to make sure she's okay, kidnapping her before she could kill herself, Natalie regressing to her teen self in the sharing shack as she rests her head on Lottie's lap, Natalie's "I think it's time for you to stop resisting", and Lottie and Nat dancing together around the fire.

One word to describe them: Tension

Their best scene: The bathtub scene

"Good game, you fucking loser."

"You talking shit? You little bitch, you ended up with nil, the same as me. But fine, good game."

Lottielee

So much of Lottie’s life leading up to the plane crash was about shame and self-confinement. Her father made her afraid of her own mind, and she spent much of her youth suppressing herself through medications and a socially acceptable mask. Laura Lee is the first person to accept Lottie as she truly is. She’s the first person to offer Lottie an alternative to her father’s control. Where Lottie has only known repression and self-doubt, Laura Lee provides a safe space where Lottie is believed. Not only does Laura Lee offer Lottie validation—she offers her a sanctuary for expression. She’s not afraid of Lottie’s abilities or her spirituality; she sees it as a part of who Lottie is, something to be embraced rather than suppressed. Lottie’s relationship with Laura Lee is foundational to her entire character; her psyche, her self-identity, her motivations going forward, and her path in life. Laura Lee helps Lottie develop an assertiveness and confidence she had not been able to access before, which in turn allows her to ascend to the extremely influential figure she ends up becoming.

I think so much can be said about the importance of touch in their relationship. Holding each other’s hands to guide each other, embracing each other, placing a hand on the other’s chest and holding it there. Laura Lee provides a gentleness/tenderness in her touch that Lottie has been craving her whole life. The act of placing a hand on the chest is particularly significant. When Laura Lee touches Lottie in this way, it is a moment of emotional anchoring. The chest is where the heart is, where one’s truest self can be felt and expressed. To have someone touch you there with reverence is a profound act of acceptance and recognition. And this is something that stays with Lottie, becoming an integral part of her spiritual practices. When Lottie offers this kind of touch to others, she’s not just comforting them; she’s offering the same acceptance and safety that she first received from Laura Lee. It’s a form of healing, of passing on the love and belief that Laura Lee gave her, a way for Lottie to channel her strength into others and to demonstrate the kind of acceptance she once craved.

Lottielee is about nurturance and sustenance. I love the absolute awe on their faces when they look at each other. In a way, they have faith in and worship each other.

Laura Lee’s death is extremely impactful and devastating to Lottie, so much so that she still sees Laura Lee’s ghost even 25 years later. Echoes of Laura Lee exist in everything Lottie does.

One word to describe them: Acceptance

Their best scene: The lake baptism

"I saw fire— a light."

"That's the holy spirit, you've been touched."

Mistynat

This ship has got to be the most hilarious out of any on the show. On paper, it makes absolutely no sense. Natalie is dark, brooding, cynical, and emotionally guarded to the point of being downright cold in the adult timeline. She has carefully curated an emotional armor; an air of detachment and apathy that she uses to maintain distance from anyone that could possibly become close to her. In contrast, Misty is a perpetual ray of sunshine—a walking bundle of overzealous energy and bubbly optimism wrapped in frilly, vintage-inspired cat sweaters. She's needy, socially unaware, and often acts out of a desperate desire for affection and validation. Their personalities, seemingly at odds, create a rich, almost absurd juxtaposition that makes their interactions fascinating to watch.

At the heart of their relationship is a shared sense of longing. Both Natalie and Misty crave connection and appreciation, but they have no idea how to foster it in healthy, meaningful ways. Both of them have been deeply isolated throughout their lives, though for different reasons. Natalie’s isolation stems from her trauma. She doesn't feel worthy of love and she's afraid of hurting people, so she keeps everyone at arm’s length, often sabotaging any potential for intimacy. Misty, on the other hand, is isolated by her intense neediness and socially awkward tendencies. She becomes overbearing and obsessive, constantly seeking affection in ways that alienate others. This creates such an interesting dynamic when the two are together, as Misty is obsessively pouring all of her loyalty and energy into Nat, while Nat is constantly pushing her away and struggling to maintain a safe distance between them.

While Mistynat is definitely stronger on Misty's end than Nat's, I think you can see the soft spot Nat has for Misty. Nat is begrudgingly charmed by her. Christina Ricci has said that she thinks Natalie was the only one to show any kindness towards Misty growing up, and I couldn't agree more. There are moments when Natalie shows a surprising level of affection and understanding toward Misty, even if it's fleeting or passive. Nat protects Misty from Shauna after Shauna punches her ("It's not her fault! Misty did everything she could!"), she appears genuinely happy to see Misty at the reunion, and the line "We're all like this, aren't we?" is Nat realizing how alike she and Misty are; how they share the same trauma.

It is so heartbreaking that Misty, who saw herself as Nat's greatest protector and most loyal follower, was ultimately the one to kill her. And it will also be so heartbreaking to see Misty's obsession with Nat extend to her wearing Nat's clothing and taking on her persona in Season 3 as a way of remaining close to her. Here's to seeing more of them in the teen timeline this season!

One word to describe them: Unpredictable

Their best scene: Misty snorting Nat’s coke

"Misty! Get off my coke! Oh my god you're possessed!"

Lottieshauna

Lottie is the only one to truly understand and embrace Shauna (even the darkest, most suppressed parts of herself). While she has other close relationships on the show, they all accept only a portion of Shauna (the portion they’re comfortable with, the portion that doesn’t feel dangerous, the portion that Shauna displays to others because she knows it won’t scare them away). Jeff, Jackie, and even Taissa can’t fully comprehend the depth of Shauna’s rage, the thrill she gets from danger, her desperate need to be seen, or the fact that she wants an outlet for the violent impulses she keeps buried. But with Lottie, Shauna can be her full, unfiltered self.

Lottie doesn’t just accept Shauna’s darkness—she encourages it. She doesn’t flinch from the things that would make others recoil. When Shauna is discovered to be talking to Jackie’s corpse in the meat shed, Lottie is the only one to extend empathy and understanding to Shauna. She covers up the piece cut out of Jackie’s arm and gives Shauna Jackie’s necklace because she knows that it’s what Shauna needs. After the death of Shauna’s baby, Lottie risks her life to allow Shauna to take her rage (and her intense grief) out on her. In the adult timeline, Lottie’s goat trust exercise (not sure what else to call it lol) is what makes Shauna realize how she has been keeping the people she loves at arm’s length; and it is what lays the groundwork for true healing. Lottie always understands what Shauna needs.

Shauna initially resists Lottie’s influence, but as the story progresses, you can see her slowly being drawn in to her web. I think there’s something thrilling for Shauna to be seen and accepted for her true self (instead of all of the masks she puts on to be what others want her to be). Their connection is one of shared experience, unspoken understanding, and the potential for something both destructive and healing.

One word to describe them: Cathartic

Their best scene: The beatdown

"Shauna, I know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out. Shauna, we need you, let it out."

Travnat

There’s only room for one heterosexual ship on this list, and that is undoubtedly going to be Natalie and Travis. Travnat is tragic, toxic, and narratively doomed in all of the best ways. Travis and Natalie are two people who cannot help but destroy themselves and each other. Nat and Travis are birds of a feather, which means they have a deep understanding of each other (an understanding they have never received from anyone else), but it also means they have a mutual capacity for self-destruction.

When Travis lashes out after his father’s death, Natalie sees herself. She recognizes that rage, that despair. It’s something that no one else in the group can fully understand or sympathize with, because they haven’t been through the same kind of loss and alienation. But Natalie does understand, and she is the only one who offers him any kind of empathy or care initially. Even when Travis resists, when he pushes her away, she remains steadfast, because, deep down, she knows exactly what it feels like to be abandoned in your pain, to have no one who understands the depth of your grief. It’s this shared history of suffering that makes their connection so strong, yet so toxic. It’s not just about comfort—it’s about two people who have never been allowed to heal properly, and who are only capable of hurting each other as a result. They have the same coping methods: numbing and distraction (whether that be through drugs, sex, or reckless behavior), which causes them to spiral and relapse into their old habits whenever they reconnect.

Natalie describes Travis as "my best friend, the only person I ever loved, the only person who ever really knew me." There is no denying that these two have a deep love for each other. In their light, playful moments in Season 1, you can see what might have been if they had connected before the plane crash. But now they have gone through so much of the same trauma that there is no way for them to be around each other without reminding each other of their shared pain. Nat is a constant reminder to Travis of the loss of his little brother, and Travis is a constant reminder to Nat of the intense guilt of what she did to survive out there. Despite this, they attempt to take care of each other over the course of 25 years. There’s a tragic dance between them: they push each other away, only to pull each other back in, over and over again. The more they try to heal each other, the more they wound one another, and this constant tug-of-war between love and destruction is what makes their relationship so compelling.

One word to describe them: Trauma-bond

Their best scene: Post-Doomcoming hug

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to. I fucking love you, Natalie."

Jackienat

On an outward, surface level, Natalie and Jackie are polar opposites. Jackie is the classic queen bee—privileged, popular, and used to being admired. Natalie, on the other hand, is the rebellious outcast, rough around the edges and unwilling to conform. The ‘queen bee’ and the ‘burnout’. The ‘prude’ and the ‘slut’. Jackie cares too much, Natalie doesn’t care enough. But, in actuality, these are the cliche labels that have been placed on them/assigned to them by external sources. These are the false fronts they put on to hide the vulnerability underneath. Nat and Jackie are actually much more similar than either of them would probably care to admit.

At the core of their conflicts is jealousy. Jackie envies Natalie's ability to be carefree and unapologetically herself (you can hear genuine admiration in her compliment to Nat, “I love that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. You are so completely yourself). Jackie, for all her outward confidence, is constantly performing the version of herself that others expect, and she longs for the kind of authenticity that Natalie seems to embody. On the other hand, Natalie is jealous of the life Jackie represents—privilege, stability, being adored without having to fight for it. But they’re both deeply insecure in ways that mirror each other. Jackie isn’t as effortlessly perfect as everyone believes, and Natalie isn’t as indifferent as she pretends to be. They are both trapped by expectations, and neither of them truly feels like they belong.

If circumstances had been different, I think they would have actually been very close. Their humor is actually similar—sharp, a little sarcastic, but often disarming. They’re both sarcastic, raspy-voiced little shits and I would have loved to see them play off of each other a little more. My personal headcanon for these two is that they actually used to be very close friends when they were little but grew apart in middle school/high school due to societal expectations. Maybe Jackie used to be more carefree before she learned she had to be perfect, and maybe Natalie used to be softer before she learned no one would protect her. There was no huge falling out, they were just gradually pulled apart over time, placed into their respective roles, and now there’s a part of both of them that quietly misses the other but also feels like the version of themselves that once connected with each other is gone. They just don’t understand each other anymore.

And Nat being the one to lay Jackie’s bones to rest? Rejecting Travis’ offer to come with her so that she could have a moment alone with Jackie to pay her respects, release her jealousy, and apologize? Nat being the one to take Jackie’s position of leadership in the group (the queen bee) after she’s gone? Tragic.

They are the perfect enemies to lovers trope (or, in my opinion, friends to enemies to lovers) that unfortunately will never come to fruition.

One word to describe them: Jealousy

Their best scene: Nat apologizes to Jackie's bones

"You're lucky, you know? I think shit is going to get a lot worse out here. But you're already dead so, way to make everyone jealous of you one last time. I'm sorry, for what we did. Who knows, maybe you could be the reason we survive the winter, so thanks. Rest in peace, Jackie."

—

And if you’re interested, the most-written romantic pairings on ao3 at the time of making this post are as follows: Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor (1,564 works), Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio (1,202 works), Van Palmer/Taissa Turner (1,019 works), Laura Lee/Lottie Matthews (396 works), Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio (258 works), Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor (185 works), Lottie Matthews/Shauna Shipman (182 works), and Travis Martinez/Natalie Scatorccio (120 works).

[copperbadge]

Hi CB! I've followed your work for a while and I'm curious - I've seen that you do many times on a repetitive and consistent manner.......how? By the love of gods, how? What is this magic? Is it inherited? Genetic? Signed, please-halp

Hey, thanks for reading! I think you may have missed a word in the ask so I am taking a best guess at what you were inquiring about, but I'm guessing you were asking about consistent and repeat ability to write and post fiction? Gosh that sounds egotistical of me but I used to be known for being prolific and I think I'm still known for, if not having the BEST prose, at least having the ability to be of consistent quality. :)

The good news is that it is neither magic nor genetic, and one of those things that anyone can achieve -- it just takes time and a bit of effort. The secret is that I wasn't always even a good writer; what I have always been is a passionate writer. My early fanfic, from fourteen to eighteen, was actually very bad. But I did it a lot. It's hard to get truly good at something if you aren't passionate about it because you won't want to do it so often that you get good at it, but fortunately I fell in love with it. And once you're good at something you do want to do it all the time!

In my teens I wrote absolutely tons of fanfic, and if you were to read it (you can't, it's not under my name and some of it is lost to the ages) you could actually see me improving, because I started out so terribly bad. We're talking "Multiple people speaking in one paragraph" bad. But I kept writing and took feedback and when I went to college I took classes (I had a kind of unofficial minor in playwriting, including having several short plays produced) and when I came back to fandom after college I was...decent. And this you can trace, if you start reading at the start of my AO3 account where all my fanfic since 2003 is stashed; you can see I used to be more awkward in my prose, my pacing wasn't as good, what I considered relevant to include for the story wasn't as polished as it is now.

So, there are almost five million words on my AO3 account, which doesn't include anything I wrote before 2003; I'm forty-five and started writing when I was just shy of fifteen. This will be my thirtieth year writing fiction in April. If you spend that much time writing, even if you don't necessarily TRY to improve, you will learn and grow. And you learn how your own creative process works and how to wrestle with that, so you become consistent simply because you gain a kind of mental muscle-memory.

The thing is, quality and consistency is nice, but it's not necessary to enjoy either fandom or fanfic, or even writing. If you love to write, that's the best thing; you will bring yourself joy. It's one reason I never even considered making a career as a writer, because I didn't want my joy to become my job. That's not to shit on professional writers by ANY means, I have several as friends and of course I admire many well-known authors. But for me, it was important to preserve the parts I loved best, and I didn't think I could do that and still try to get a paycheck from it.

So the trick of quality, consistent writing is to love it enough to do it until you develop your skills and grow as an artist. But the real trick of any artistic expression is to love it for itself, to put heart into your work, and to do everything you can to protect what gives you pleasure. Quality and consistency are nice but if you love what you do they really, eventually, cease to matter. :)

[teaguehq]

There's no doubt in my mind you made Calgary all the better, even if it's a beautiful city on its own. It was just better for having you there with me, not to mention we kept each other warm despite all the cold! And we found plenty of fun things to do together, thankfully. You know I'll always attend your premieres with you, and of course cheer you on in your projects! I'm already so excited for seeing Fantastic Four now that there's a trailer, and I know you'll have done an incredible job in that. Though that aside, you looked so handsome in the trailer too - no wonder they chose you for Johnny Storm when you're already hot and it's entirely believable you can set a fire all on your own! I know you've got promo coming up, so I'm just happy I'm not working for the moment and can travel around with you for it all. I'm so happy you liked being in Florida with me, and happier that you got the chance to visit and meet my parents. Though sorry about all their questions and their asking so many. You're only the second person I've ever brought home, so I know they were a little curious, if anything. Though it's no surprise to me that they like you! I know what you mean when I already miss Florida's warmth myself, though just means we'll have to go on a vacation soon. I love that you want to match costumes for Halloween, and you know I'd be all for planning that! Maybe the big costumes this year will be the Fantastic Four though, so I hope you're ready for that. Well, I'll say you don't have to worry about losing me, because I'm here as long as you'd like me to be. But I know I'd be lost without you too, so that feeling is definitely mutual, love. In that case, you can have me in your arms as much as you'd like, just putting that out there. You want to take me somewhere special? Now I'm wondering what you have in mind, though it's likely I'd like any date you take me on. Well, I had to show you some of my hangouts while we were there in Tampa, including some places that play live music since the guys and I have had gigs there before! I'm happy we had another chance to dip into the hot springs before my filming ended, since I did have the best time there with you. I had a feeling, though it's mutual since I can't ever get enough of you. And well, since you didn't know what I was planning for your birthday at the time, you know I had a lot more than just the hot springs on my mind for a post-filming celebration. Plus having a hot tub handy and enjoying it with you certainly felt like a great vacation. I can't help it since every time I think about being all yours, it just makes me smile so much. I'm not even close to being sick of knitted items, especially since they're made with your own hands. At least we don't have to miss each other for a little while, right? I know, and neither of us wants to hurt Bach's feelings, so better we let him believe he's the best cuddler. A friend for Bach? Will it be another dog just as big as Bach, or did you have something else in mind? I'm excited for visiting more Catacomb entrances since it seems like such a secret thing! I'll always protect you, never have to worry about that. It's a good thing you like it when I blush, since you make me blush so often! I don't know that I'll always be the sexiest of us when I think you are, without question. Now that filming's over, breaking in both our places will be an easier goal! Maybe after you're all finished with promo. Of course, and I love London too, so it's certainly not like you'd have to pull my arm if you wanted to visit there. And I'm happy being where you are too, so honestly, that sounds perfect to me.

Well, I want to show you all of my favorite places, and especially those we can dance! I'm smiling hearing you say that you love cooking with me, and whether it's in cooking classes or at one of our places, I know we'd have a great time and learn to make something new. I'm excited to fill up those cooking books too! Bentley definitely liked you, though I had no doubts at all that he would! I know the sanctuary appreciated the donation so much, and at least we got to interact with some of the other animals while we were helping feed them! You absolutely have a kind heart, love. I knew my parents would end up liking you, and I think they're so happy they've met you since I talk about you so much! I'm just telling the truth, you're amazing! Though you're making me blush saying I'm the amazing one. Do you really think your family will like me? Because I hope so! I'm all for visiting London and seeing them whenever you'd like to. It's a good thing I make you smile and make you happy then, since that's a reason for them to like me. You're welcome for the camping spot, and I knew you'd enjoy seeing the cattle and being on the ranch. Maybe cows are just like giant puppies around you, since they clearly wanted your affections! Turkey will be a lot of fun, although you know I'm all for any holidays with you. And we can spoil each other everywhere we go, no question on that. Now that I'm not working, you can wake me up that way as much as you'd like, especially since most days, we don't have an early call time. Or yet, I should say, since I know you have some promo coming up. Between those and the morning showers, I'm definitely becoming more a fan of mornings. No, you didn't scare me off at all, Joseph, and if anything, it means a lot to me that you're thinking about us in future terms. And I love you, and I'm so happy you feel the same way about me. Not to mention I feel so incredibly lucky for it, too. I want that with you too, living together at some point and getting married when the timing feels right for it. Makes me curious if you've thought of where we should live, like where you'd want a place together. I do love you, Joseph, and it makes me smile that I can say it now without holding back. Nothing I can say would scare you? Not that I'd test that theory, though saying I love you out loud was the scariest thing up until now! And I do want forever with you, and honestly, it makes my heart race just saying that out loud too, not to mention knowing you want the same thing. I'll kiss you as much as you'd like, that's a fact! well, no surprise when you linger on my mind in general, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I absolutely loved the decorations and the red theme, and well, I feel like I showed just how much I loved it with including it as part of the photo album I gave you! It just meant the world to me since no one's ever done that for me before. Christmas and New Year's with you was incredible, and it was fun getting to spend both of them in New York. I bet you'll end up playing the mandolin beautifully too, and we'll have to start in on the lessons soon! I really did love your gifts, and that necklace is honestly my new favorite. Plus we'll definitely have to plan the cruise soon since it'll be a lot of fun! The kiss in Time's Square was so memorable, and well, I don't doubt in the least that all our New Year's kisses will be that memorable, too. I'm happy you liked the idea of Devonian Gardens before we had to leave, albeit a week earlier than I'd said in honor of your birthday! I have a feeling you liked it, but did you enjoy the cabin I rented for that week along with your other birthday gifs? It was difficult to keep from you, I can say that! And well, you're stuck with me since I don't have to film anything for now, so I can take care of you while you're having to work. | @josephafq

i feel like it's easy to appreciate calgary more because i'm here with you, yeah? but you're right -- aside from the cold, it's a nice city and we've really had a great time and have done some fun things together! and you know i feel the same way about you, love, that anything is more fun with you at my side. i'm glad you love attending my premieres, because i love having you on my arm so much, and it means the world that you're so supportive. you're making me blush a little right now saying that, and i'm glad you think it ends up being special, love. i'm glad it might be a little bit before i work again, so i get to spend as much time with you as possible. and i was very glad for your time off for the holidays as well, because i loved getting to go to flordia with you! the warm weather there was gorgeous, and i almost hated to leave to have to go back to the cold! i like the idea of dressing up in halloween costumes that are popular at that time -- i'm sure we can have a lot of fun with that, i just know i want to match with you! i'm glad to put your mind at ease, love, but i'll admit i have those same kind of worries too, you know? i know that i would be lost without you, so i'll do anything to make sure i don't lose you. i'm glad being in my arms is so comforting, love, and i love having you in my arms so lucky that, yeah? i love your clinginess, honestly, and love that you love mine too! i have been thinking about new dates to plan, i really want to take you some place special that just shows you how much you mean to me. and i loved the something fun you had planned while in tampa, i had a very good time and you know you're the most thoughtful man on the planet, right? oh, very much so, because i love the hot springs there so much and i love going to them with you! i'm glad we'll get to visit them again before your filming is over! and i love recreating everything we've done there together as well, i can't get enough of you, though i'm sure you already know that, yeah? i'm glad that you're on board with staying at the hot springs a little longer so we can truly take advantage of them, and you're right, it would be the perfect post-filming celebration! i'm glad you always love hot tubs with me, love, and we've had a lot of fun in them, haven't we? i love hearing that i made you blush by saying that, but it's the truth, the best feeling is knowing that you're all mine, and it's safe to say that i love being all yours, love. i mean, as long as you're not sick of my knitted items, i'll make a ton more for you! i'm glad that you always want to be near me, like i do you, and i miss you so much when we're apart. i especially miss having you in my arms! it's good that we don't let bach know that we like each other's cuddles better than his, it might hurt his feelings. though speaking of bach, i've been wondering, do you think he looks lonely? because i was wondering if maybe we should get him a friend. i'll reach out to jamie and let him know that we'd like to meet up with them and visit some secret catacomb entrances, he'll be shocked that i'm asking! and thank you for saying you'll always hold my hand, love. it's my favorite when you blush, i hope you know that. but i really do think you're the sexiest, part of why i can't keep my hands off you, love. plus, i'm glad you think i'm so sexy and all, but you'll always be the sexiest of us. i love kissing you every morning too, love, it really is the best way to start the day. i love sending you off to set with plenty of kisses! i'm looking forward to breaking in your place a little more in new york as well, and of course we've still got some places in my apartment as well that we need to break in! yes, wherever you are, i'm happy to be right alongside you! and i'm glad that's mutual, love, and thank you for saying you'll always be willing to visit london whenever i'm missing it. though i've been feeling good, lately and just happy being where you are.

it's sweet that you wanted to take me to one of your favorite spots in new york -- and honestly, the dancing with you was the best part of the night! i'm glad you're all for taking more cooking classes, love, and i know we'll have a fun time with cooking new things and filling up those books. plus, i just really love cooking with you, you know? it's sweet! it was so fun getting to meet bentley, and i have a feeling he liked me, do you think he did? and i'm glad that i was able to donate a little something to the sanctuary, as well as help out with some things while we were there too. though you're making me blush saying i have a kind heart. it was a little scary meeting your parents, i'll admit, but i am so happy they ended up liking me. and now you're really making me blush saying your'e with someone who is as amazing as i am, when you're the amazing one, love! once you're done filming, we'll head to london for a little bit so you can meet my family -- and they really are going to love you. anyone that makes me smile as much as you do and makes me happy as you do, they're going to love. and thank you for taking me to such a great camping place, i loved it so much, and i had fun seeing the cattle. also, i didn't realize that cows could be like giant puppies, you know? i'm glad you're all for going to turkey, love, and that you're as excited as i am about all the holidays that we've got planned. i love the idea of seeing the world with you, love, and can't wait to spoil you at every place we go, as well as have you spoil me! i'm also very happy i can wake you up in the way i like as many times as i'd like, given it's my favorite way to help you start the day! well, it's tied with our morning showers because i love them with you and agree that i'm liking mornings better as well. first let me say that i'm glad i didn't scare you off, because i was really worried. but yeah, i do love you, i love you a whole lot and i've wanted to tell you for a while now. and i do think about us living together and getting married at some point -- which is a little scary because you're right they are big things to say, but i wanted you to know that i'm thinking that, and that i want that with you. and you love me too? just getting really emotional with you saying that i'll have you know, and it makes me feel better you've known for a while too. nothing you could say would ever scare me though, just putting that out there, alright? god, i'm so glad that you want forever with me too, owen, i can't even put into words how that makes me feel. and you're right, neither of us have any reason to be scared since we're on the same page. you'll kiss me all the time? lucky me! oh, i really will always enjoy those favors, love, and i'm glad they tend to linger in your mind as well, that makes me feel very good. it makes me so happy that you loved all the decorations i had done at my place, love, and of course i had to do a red theme since it's your favorite color after all! i'm glad our christmas together was a good one, same with our new years! i can't wait to start mandolin lessons with you, love, i'm really excited and hope i end up playing it decently! i'm glad you feel spoiled by my gifts though, love, and it makes me smile you're never taking off that necklace! plus, i love that you're excited about the cruise because i know we're going to have so much fun on that ship! oh, i loved kissing you in times square as well, i'm so glad you were my new years kiss, and look forward to you always being my new years kiss. and going back to devonian gardens before we leave calgary sounds like a brilliant idea, love. i'm pretty happy you're stuck with me for a while, honestly. and exactly, i'm happy when we can take care of each other, i love taking care of you. and you always make me feel happy and safe, there's no doubt about that. || @teaguehq

[its-the-allure]

Drarry Rec List

Favorite trope/tag: Established Relationship

First Time for Everything

By gracerene | Explicit | 7.3k

Summary: Harry's ready to try something new.

Why I like it: Established relationship and first time? Yes please!

I've Got a Beautiful Feeling (Everything's Going My Way)

By toomuchplor | Explicit | 3.6k

Summary: This is absolutely unapologetic explicit filth but it's also absolutely unapologetic as a representation of been-married-a-while sex. That's got to be somebody's specific kink, right? If that's you, enjoy.

Why I like it: Please see above.

horizon

By @desertforestfic | Explicit | 1.6k

Summary: The sun rises on Harry and Draco.

Why I like it: Sweet and hot! Plus this Freeform tag says it all - “denial of how non-casual the casual sex is getting”.

Under the Mistletoe

By @jelliewrites | Explicit | 4.4K

Summary: Draco kisses Harry under the mistletoe...

...but not the kind of kissing you're thinking about, you sweet summer child!

Why I like it: all my favorite things in a new, clever way. The first of several sexy shorts in this established-Drarry life. Read them all!

Snow Can Wait

By its_the_allure (me!) | Explicit | 5.5k

Summary: Ten years after the war, Harry is on a first date with a cute Muggle bloke attending a classical music recital. But then the house lights go down, and an achingly familiar man with a shock of white-blond hair walks across the stage toward the piano.

This is a story about waiting - and making up for lost time.

Why I like it: Okay it feels weird to self rec in a rec list, but imma do it! This was my first time trying a non-linear narrative and I’m really pleased with how it turned out. We have a deeply in love Harry which I just adore, and Draco is super hot.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

By @moonflower-rose | Explicit | 40.1k

Summary: One summer evening, Harry Potter vanished in the middle of dinner with his friends. Four days later he came back. Sort of.

Draco Malfoy is on the case.

Why I like it: Such delicious pining!!! Very lovely characterizations of Harry & Draco. I want all the good things for them.

Come In, the Water's Lovely

By @wolfpants | Explicit | 3.5k

Summary: In the lush wilderness of Madeira, Harry and Draco reunite.

Why I like it: porn with feelings, my best and most favorite thing

Harry after Healer

By @zephyne | Teen | 1.2k

Summary: Harry’s loopy on potions after his procedure. Draco rather likes Harry this way, all open and innocent and awestruck. Oh—and yeah. Obsessed with Draco’s beauty. That part’s rather nice.

“Do we call each other ‘love’? How long have we been together?”

“We’ll have been married three years next month,” he replies.

“Merlin, I hit the jackpot!” Harry exclaims, beaming.

Why I like it: Inspired by that adorable viral video where the man wakes from surgery and can’t believe how gorgeous his wife is. So sweet and cute.

He's Perfect

By @itsphantasmagoria | Teen | 7.9k

Summary: Draco's son with Harry is a shining light in his life, and is perfect just the way he is.

Why I like it: A wonderful glimpse of Drarry’s life post-getting together, and I love how they stand up for their child. The interactions with Draco’s parents are especially satisfying.

Far From The Tree

By aideomai | Explicit | 112.5k

Summary: The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

Why I like it: Gorgeous writing, angst with a happy ending done so well, and the smut is smutting so hard!

PS. Do you have a favorite that isn’t on this list? PLEASE SHARE IT WITH ME!!!!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Whenever I think of Miraculous's attempts to do context, I think of Gravity Falls.

Gravity Falls was a great show, especially in how they did off-screen context and overarching plot.

SPOILER ALERT

When they did the reveal of Stanley and Stanford, Alex Hirsch used subtext to tease the truth. Ford's glasses, the different nameplate on his car, knowing Gideon wasn't a real psychic since he kept calling him Stanford instead of Stanley—they were all there, but these tiny hints, while are noticeable, generally didn't mean much until the big reveal.

But the fun thing was that the fans saw the subtext, and because of the mystery genre in Gravity Falls, it's almost like audience participation in putting together the clues.

Obviously, I'm not expecting Miraculous to do this. It's a whole other genre, a whole other storyline. But I feel like a distinct parallel that can be taken from it is mainly WHEN said subtext is subtext, and what's not.

One example I can think of is Despair Bear. Adrien told Chloé to fix her attitude otherwise they won't be friends. Relevant for the episode, fine.

BUT THEN

They ignore it for episodes on end until Queen Banana, where Adrien suddenly uses it as a bargaining chip. And when people complain, they act like Adrien's tried this whole time and Chloé's just mean.

Basically, what Miraculous did wrong that Gravity Falls did right was knowing when to call attention to something and when not to.

In Gravity Falls, they were careful with the Stanley-Stanford reveal hints; things like the nameplate and Gideon were small in the grand scheme of things and passed you by if you weren't paying attention. But then they remind you of the mystery surrounding Stan by using small but overt scenes to make you think about it.

However, in Miraculous, they didn't do that. Again, Despair Bear. Adrien threatens their friendship, Chloé gets her act together, blah blah blah. But the issue is, post-episode, it's never mentioned again until practically a whole season later, after which we're just supposed to believe Adrien tried.

When you call attention to scenes from prior episodes, usually through quoting, you're inviting extra scrutiny on how you do your context. However, there's nothing to call attention to! You have Despair Bear, then radio silence until Queen Banana, after which it's treated like the last straw when it was the only straw.

It feels sudden that Adrien cut off the relationship because it was sudden. There was no added context or reminder, like visual effort on Adrien's or Chloé's part to preserve their friendship, and because of that, the conflict in Queen Banana feels thrown out there at random.

When conflict is supposed to coincide with previous episodes but said conflict stretches far from the start of the issue to the actual fight, you need to pepper in reminders to people that this is an issue that will have relevance in the future. You can't just declare it as something, just because that's what YOU think happened. And who knows, maybe to you it did, but we're not in your head, so how are we supposed to know if you don't show it to us?

The audience is usually more eagle-eyed than you think, and if over 90% of the audience missed the context, that's not the audience's fault. It's the creator.

The issue is the same for the infamous wax scene. Discomfort aside, Adrien's attitude towards Marinette post-episode never changed. No lingering glances, no moments of confusion in his feelings, nothing. So when it hits that he apparently has feelings for Marinette, it comes out of the blue. Or the whole Marinette and Cat Noir switching their crushes, with Marinette now like Cat Noir and Cat Noir now liking Marinette. There's just not enough context to justifiably believe that it is what it is.

Sorry for how long it is. I was just thinking about Gravity Falls and one thought turned into another.

This is an excellent time to give one of my favorite pieces of writing advice: if you want to tell stories, then you should study how mysteries are told because most stories have an element of mystery to them.

The mystery genre is the literary equivalent of a puzzle because a good mystery is all about setup and payoff. If the ending of a mystery doesn't come with a feeling of, "oh, how did I miss that?" or "Yes, I knew it!" then you've probably told a bad mystery. But that rule isn't unique to mysteries. Anything with a twist or a reveal requires you to set up those things and, generally speaking, you want to set up these non-mystery twists and reveals the same way you set them up in mysteries. The big difference will be that people aren't aware of what the mystery is, so the clues won't play like clues the first time through.

If you look at Gravity Falls, you know right from the start that there's a mystery afoot because the series begins with the character Dipper discovering a mysterious journal marked with a six-fingered hand and the number three:

This means that everything in the story should be viewed with the knowledge that this journal exists. Viewers assume - correctly - that they are going to learn more and more about the journal as the story goes on. They can also make some logical guesses based on the things they learn. For example, later on, the story introduces a nearly identical journal marked with the number two. For some viewers, this was an "oh, shit!" moment. For others, it was a major win because they'd guessed that this reveal was coming. After all, why would you mark Dipper's journal with a three if it was the only one?

Let's compare this to Miraculous and how it handles things.

I would not call Miraculous a mystery, but - like many non-mystery stories - it has a mystery at its heart: what happened to Emilie Agreste? The answer comes with the reveal that Adrien, Felix, and Kagami are sentimonsters. But, for many viewers, that is not a satisfyingly reveal. They don't look back at the show and go, "Oh, that's why X happened in season one and Y happened in season two! It all make sense now!" Instead, they go, "Wait, how did Gabriel lose in Chat Blanc if Adrien has a remote control?" or "Wait, if Adrien is a sentimonster, then why didn't Chat Noir go nuts when he was cataclysmed in Miraculer? And what about Claw Noir in the Paris special? Why was he totally fine? Gabriel showed us that being transformed doesn't protect you from a cataclysm, so there's no reason why these two didn't act like other sentimonster here."

There are also lots of smaller-scale mysteries going on such as the fate of the eyeglass that Félix used to find Emilie in the season four final. Canon then let Adrien find the abandoned glass in the season four final, making everyone think it was going to be an important plot point in season five. No one knew how it was going to be used, but the hype was real! Hype that went no where because canon apparently forgot about Adrien finding the glass. Mid-season five, it randomly shows up in Gabriel's possession, a twist so confusing that the wiki can't even figure out what happened here:

In "Pretension", Gabriel somehow finds it and gives it to Tomoe, who uses it to track Félix's scent during her akumatization after he kidnapped Kagami.

Nevermind how Gabriel found it, how did he even know it was Félix's??? Nothing about this makes sense.

This is what I mean when I say that you want to write non-mystery stories like mysteries. No matter the genre, you want your stories to make sense. For stories to make sense, you need to make use of various setup and payoff techniques like foreshadowing. You can also make use of distraction techniques like red herrings. Everything mystery writers use is on the table for other genres. The big difference between mysteries and non-mysteries is not the techniques used, but the timing of events and how the characters are played. In a mystery story, you start with a body on the floor. In a non-mystery, the body might not show up until the end, but the reason it's lying there still needs to make sense!

Similarly, your non-mystery characters may not be trying to solve anything, but you'll still need set things up so that they get the information they need to have in order to make the ending work without it feeling like said ending came out of nowhere. While season five of Miraculous sucked in most ways, it did this to a certain extent by at least taking the time to establish that the Emilie videos existed before bringing them into the final. They also took the time to setup Lila knowing that Gabriel was Monarch. Imagine how much worse the final would feel without those things.

This need to set things up goes beyond plot elements. It applies to character beats, too! Adrien and Chloé's relationship is a wonderful example of a relationship arc that needed to take some lessons from mystery novels. As you noted in the ask, Despair Bear setup the idea that Adrien would cut Chloé off if she kept hurting others:

Adrien:(sighs in disappointment) Chloé, how long have you and I been friends? Chloé: Since we were adorable little tots, Adrikins. (Pouts) Adrien:(disappointed) Well, I'm sorry Chloé, but I can't be friends with someone who treats other people like this. You've gotta be nice to people! Chloé: N-Nice? Adrien: Yes, nice. It's not that hard.

But this setup doesn't pay off until the end of Derision:

Adrien: I know about everything that you did to Marinette last year, Chloé. You're going to go and apologize to her and prove to everyone that you can change. I'm sure she'll forgive you. Chloé: (cackles) Forgive me? What do I care about her forgiveness? I couldn't care less about Dupain-Cheng's feelings! She and the likes of her only exist to suffer for my entertainment. Why bother having power if you can't use it against those who don't have any? You're the one who’s getting things wrong, with your baker girl! You're a prince! You belong with me, the princess! You're in this world to shine! To make fun of all the losers who are only good enough to be used as doormats!  Adrien: You're nothing like a princess, Chloé. I supported you. I gave you multiple chances to become a better person. Everyone reached out to you, including Ladybug and Cat Noir when they gave you the Miraculous of the Bee again. But all you ever think about is yourself. Chloé: And what else is there to think about? Losers and nobodies? The little bees? The planet? Adrien: (angrily) We will NEVER be friends again, Chloé. You and I are DONE. (walks away in anger)

And between those two episodes, the most we get is Chloé breaking up with Adrien in season four's Queen Banana after the two have a fight about her behavior:

Adrien: Hey, wait! Chloé:(turns around) Adrikins, it's sweet of you to want to console me, but I'm fine. I'm going to get my revenge and send Zoé back to New York. Adrien: Actually, I came to suggest that you apologize to everyone. Chloé:(vehemently) Are you ill?! They've ruined my film! Adrien: It was never your film, Chloé. It belonged to the group. You promised me you'd make an effort to stop being mean to everyone. I warned you that if you didn't, then we can no longer be friends. Chloé:(ends her friendship with Adrien) You're as ridiculous that film! It's over, you're no longer my Adrikins, you're Adrinothing! (Runs off to the limousine and cries inside.)

If you look at this like a mystery, it's a pretty awful one. The pacing is terrible and the events don't link together. When Queen Banana had Adrien call Chloé out for breaking her promise, I wasn't sure what he was talking about. The wiki links that line to Despair Bear and that makes sense to me in terms of what happened in Despair Bear, but if that's what he's talking about, then why did it take him two seasons remember his original threat? Why is Queen Banana his breaking point and not Miracle Queen, Zombizou, her theft of the bee, or any of the other awful things Chloé has done? Things that saw Adrien do and say nothing, making his claim that people reached out to her ring rather hollow. He let her get away with some pretty major crimes and only speaks up when she's mildly petty which isn't a great look for his character.

I've also seen several people confused by Derision's ending because they thought that Adrien and Chloé were already done, which is a perfectly reasonable thing to assume since Chloé cut Adrien off in Queen Banana and Adrien doesn't really talk to Chloé between Queen Banana and Derision. Two facts that really undermine his actions in Derision because why did he even bother talking to Chloé at that point? And why was Marinette's trauma the thing that made him finally reach out? It's especially weird when you remember that Adrien didn't get to watch the Derision flashback like we did. He just learned about one "prank" from Kim and went on the warpath. Not an overreaction given how bad the prank was, but a bit of an overreaction when you considered everything Chloé did that Adrien was happy to tolerate.

For this breakup to work and have weight, the show needed to have Adrien consistently reacting to Chloé's bad behavior. We need to see him actually trying and failing to push her to improve. We need to see him struggling between his new friends and his old friend. Those are the clues you use to tease Adrien cutting her off. The setup to the payoff of the breakup. We don't get those so Adrien and Chloé's relationship arc feels like a waste of time because they don't really have a relationship. You could have removed their "friendship" and the show would lose nothing. Just rewrite Despair Bear to give Chloé a different motivation and you're good to go.

[cloversnstrawberries]

I really loved the platonic RE yandere you posted, would you mind writing a continuation of the Wesker part? xoxo

platonic!yandere!albert wesker & S.T.A.R.S!gn!reader [oneshot] ! !

masterlist ! [this is a continuation of this post !]

description; Honestly, why were you here? Why you? Why was it, out of everyone on the now defunct S.T.A.R.S team, you who caught his attention like you had? And why is he acting like this is normal?

additional notes; hello!!! i'm so glad you like it so much!! it was my first time doing multi-HCs, and i think it came out really well all things considered :)) i haven't really gotten the hang of HC format fully though, so i ended up doing a oneshot for this </3

but thank you so much for requesting a continuation!! i was more than happy to do it :)) i also tried a new style(?) of description, but i don't know if i'll stick with it or not </3

warnings; Drugging, hospital/medical setting, Wesker's god complex, mention of the other S.T.A.R.S members and their fates, imprisonment, captivity, general terror and confusion, Reader is very suspicious of Wesker's reasonings (he's not helping it at all), possessiveness, soft(ish) Albert Wesker, and if there's anymore i missed, please let me know!! :D my writing seems to leave my mind the moment i put it down...

w/c; 4.1k

How could it end like this? How could you let this happen?

You're trained. Maybe not as much as your other team members-- but you went through school for this, and you could've sworn you were just getting the hang of it all.

But then again, maybe there was nothing you could've done. Even if you were as experienced as everyone else-- hell, if you had more experience than everyone combined, it'd probably turn out the same regardless.

You trusted him-- they trusted him, just for him to lead them all like lambs to the slaughter;

He spared you, though. Why? What the hell is he up to?

That phone call you'd been eavesdropping on-- at the time, you couldn't make heads or tails of it. But now, oh... now you understand it perfectly.

S.T.A.R.S was never what it claimed to be, but out of everyone, only Wesker was aware of that. Not even Marini, because lord knows if he knew what was actually going on, he wouldn't have had any part in it.

Did any of them survive? Wesker made it sound like there was no chance anyone could've made it out alive. Apparently, he hadn't made it out alive--

He claims to have died, but to have come back better; reborn as something truer than what he had been.

God... how did you not see this coming? Again, you were trained! You... you were supposed to be able to spot these kinds of things. Maybe you'd been too blindly trusting, after all, he was your captain.

If you couldn't trust anyone else, you should've been able to trust him. That's how it's supposed to be. Only for him to turn around and stab you all in the back.

Even if he didn't send you out there. Even if you were the one exception, his companion (whatever that entailed), that couldn't mean much. Not to a man like him, who uses people as stepping stones. Who used your co-workers, your friends, as just rungs in a ladder; as he sought to achieve godhood.

He's different, now. He says he'd died-- and you don't quite doubt that fact. Maybe you should, but his... his eyes. His eyes gave you pause, as you tried to discredit his claim of being revived.

They were like a snakes-- no, a dragons, actually. You don't think snakes can have that sort of coloring naturally, the central heterochromatic yellow around his pupils, and the bright, jarring red the rest of his pupils held.

Sometimes, they almost glowed. The way he moved now wasn't human. Nothing about him was-- but not all of that could be attributed to his strange, unexplainable (from your point of view, at least) metamorphosis.

In theory, he was still so human. He had the same face-- his bone structure hadn't changed, god no. The only physical attribute that tangibly changed had been his eyes, and maybe his teeth and nails being a little sharper.

But something about him was monstrous, beyond those traits. Maybe it was the knowledge of what he'd done, or the fear spawned out of uncertainty. Uncertainty of what he has planned for you, that makes him seem so otherworldly beyond the obvious.

Why you? Why, out of everyone, did he spare you? It couldn't have anything to do with your age-- he'd mentioned no sort of exception made for Rebecca, who was only 18. Safe to say, he didn't have any qualms about leading a literal teenager to her untimely death,

And maybe you could argue that it was his higherups-- or whoever that Birkin he was seemingly talking to on the phone-- that forced his hand and made him 'euthanize' S.T.A.R.S.

He talked about them like they were animals, and not people with hopes, dreams-- families. Reasons to live outside of their jobs, reasons they were important.

Like they were lab rats, he'd indirectly referred to them as much during the phone call. So what did that make you?

When you were young, you had a neighbor who owned a snake. You don't remember what kind exactly, but it was a very sweet little thing. You wouldn't think a snake could be cuddly until you met that little sucker-- but in the end, it was still a snake.

It still needed to eat; most of the time, your neighbor would feed it frozen mice. But the snake would get bored, and if it got too bored then it'd refuse to eat until something caught it's fancy;

And in those cases, your neighbor would get live feeder mice. One of them, the runt of the litter-- had tugged on his heartstrings, one that seemed more intent on snuggling into his head more than trying to flee.

He kept it, and named it Sunflower. Sunny for short; and kept that little feeder mouse around as long as it could last-- and it even went past the expected age for a domesticated mouse. Much less a runt feeder.

Is that what you are? A feeder mouse that somehow managed to squeeze your way into whatever was left of Wesker's heart, one that snuggled up so sweetly-- that he couldn't help but to keep you, while he threw the rest of your brethren into the hungry snake’s enclosure.

Dinner and a show, your neighbor had dubbed it to try and make it seem less gruesome. If anything, it made the action worse in your little mind-- to add such an unassuming title to the practice.

You just can't wrap your head around it, how Wesker could give up so many people-- people he knew personally, that he'd actively sought out for their positions,

But that he seemed to draw the line when it came to you. That for some reason, he decided he wanted to keep you.

He visits you often, but not too much. You have no way of telling the time or date, or even an approximate of how long you've been here. You're set up in this strange sort of... half hospital room, half normal bedroom. It sort of looked like your bedroom back home-- your childhood one, but not to the point were you'd assume Wesker broke in and took a look around.

No, it just... looks like a normal bedroom, not necessarily childish, but not necessarily full adult. There was a dresser, a desk, nightstand, and a clothes rack-- an empty one, sure, but it was still there regardless.

That didn't make much sense to you, considering there seems to be a closet right next to the empty rack; but if you've learned one thing, it's hat you have no hope of trying to figure out why Wesker does the things he does.

And then, there was the bed. It was your average, run-of-the-mill hospital bed, complete with the ability to adjust the incline, bars at the side, and places for medical equipment to be threaded through or attached in some manner.

There was a stool next to your bed, and a metal rolling cart that Wesker usually pushed just out of your reach when he wasn't actively in the room. Like he was taunting you-- he probably was, actually. Just another thing to rub your own helplessness in your face.

Honestly, you wish you could explore the room. It wasn't large, but it wasn't small; you'd probably find very little, sure, but it'd still be something.

Instead, you were handcuffed to the metal bar of the hospital bed. As if you were a particularly high-risk patient, and not a completely healthy person that Wesker fucking kidnapped and hooked up to an IV, pumping god-knows-what in your system.

It didn't make you out of it, but you weren't exactly fully aware right now. Not physically, anyways-- you could hardly muster enough energy to turn onto your side, so safe to say that's the intention of whatever fluid is the IV bag hanging by your bedside.

And while it didn't necessarily make you out of it-- you could still think perfectly fine--, it did dull your senses a little bit. Made you more susceptible to being snuck up on,

"Good morning, dear heart." Honestly, it surprised you that you had enough energy to jolt a Wesker's sudden appearance-- you swung your head around so fast that your vision went bleary for a few seconds, before inexplicably clearing up.

"Is it really morning, or is it just another one of your lies?" This had become a routine of yours-- questioning every little thing he said. Everything he does, everything he says, could be (and most likely was) in an attempt to trip you up further.

Wesker has yet to be annoyed by this, and that worries you. It worries how... kind he's appearing to be. Yes, he's still stern, and grabs you a little too roughly when you try to resist whatever medication or food he's trying to give you--

But that's nothing compared to hell he put the rest of S.T.A.R.S through, from what you could piece together from little context clues here and there-- and the tiny tidbits of information he seems to let slip on accident.

He sat on the stool next to your bed, letting out a breathy laugh "Do you really think I'd lie about something soinconsequential?" You deadpanned, and immediately shot back with a monotone "Yes."

Again, he laughed. He always did this-- always had some sort of fondness held in his eyes, a softness to his smile that you didn't think he was capable of, especially now. He's acting as if this just another day, as if this is normal.

Like this is life or death for you, like you aren't in the den of a viper-- acting like a caring, nurturing figure to its prey. You know better, though. You know better than to believe it, that he won't turn around and eat you whole once you've served whatever hidden purpose he has for you.

"Well," He began, as he leaned over and pulled that metal rolling cart by his side. As he busied himself with preparing the blood pressure cuff (god knows why he's so insistent on doing this every visit-- like you were actually sick and in need of his care, and not like he was actively pumping drugs in your system to make you sluggish and lethargic for his own gain), he continued his thought.

"Despite what you seem to think, I don't particularly enjoy lying. Especially not to you, dear heart." You had half a mind to jerk your arm away when he reached out, but you knew from previous experience he just wouldn't care. He'd just grab you regardless-- be a little rougher with it. It didn't accomplish anything, fighting him like this.

...But it was the only conceivable way you could fight back right now, and that infuriates you. You like to think that, if you weren't cuffed to the bed with an IV stuck in your arm, you'd be able to take him down.

As if he took those precautions to protect himself from you, and not to protect you from yourself-- or keep you from trying to make a break for it the first chance you get. He knew you were clever, he'd said as much himself.

Oddly enough, Wesker had this strange habit of always complimenting you; usually, it was in relation to himself-- saying you were smart, but too kind for your own good. That your relation to him blinded you, made you overlook any and all red flags until it was too late to do anything about it.

But sometimes, he'd just... compliment you. No apparent backhandedness about it. Sometimes, he reminded you of a proud dad, welcoming home his kid after they got all A's in school.

It was disturbing, to say the very least.

After a few moments, you finally respond with a curt "Whatever helps you sleep at night.", Because you don't believe him for even a second. You wish you could yell at him, that you could berate him over everything he's done-- but with the drugs making you less articulate than before, and the fact that he could just kill you right then and there-- or at least cause you grievous bodily harm--, you decide against that.

For a moment, you could've sworn you saw genuine emotion cross his face-- but it was gone so fast, that you seriously question if your brain just made it up. That even after all he's done, your brain still tries to grasp at straws that he cares for you. That he cares for you as a person, and not what you can do for him.

...Whatever that might be, which has yet to be seen by anything but Wesker himself.

Wesker took a deep breath, a habit you used to think fondly of; because it meant he was actively putting an effort into not snapping at something, and he was downright terrifying when he got angry-- or even just irritated.

Now, it just makes your body tense. Back straight, muscles wound up-- like a hare ready to bolt. He seems to realize this, but doesn't seem to process what caused it. Instead of moving back, because it was so obviously him that was bringing out this primal sort of fear in you--

He just leaned closer. Thankfully, he didn't reach out to touch you or anything-- but he was still closer.

...Then you realize he was just opening a new bottle of disinfectant-- obviously, you hadn't gone down without a fight, no matter how futile it was. Maybe this was your brain trying to humanize the monster before you-- but if you didn't know any better, you'd say he felt guilty for causing your injuries.

Even if they weren't that serious; he treated them like they were the end of the world, when you knew you've sustained much worse from much less then a god-like being trying to capture you.

Hell, one time you got a concussion from falling off a spinning chair in high-school! (admittedly, that was not your best idea-- but it got the job done! you'd fixed the loose ceiling tile that'd been bugging for three weeks straight!) You'll be fine--!

But for some Godforsaken reason, Wesker seems to think your more fragile than a porcelain doll; and a not trained S.T.A.R.S operative (though, you weren't very experienced, that didn't negate the fact that you had the formal training, and passed all the tests).

For now, you let him play doctor. You tried your best to suppress a hard flinch when he leaned forward, and started tending to the cuts and scrapes littering your face and arms-- for some reason, he thought it'd been a good idea to toss you through a fucking window--

...Albeit, the window had been in the first floor lobby of your mediocre apartment-- and it did very well to slow you down from escaping, but still. Why would he do that? You were lucky to get away with what little injuries you had from the action--

Sometimes, a scary, downright existentsial fear inducing thought crossed you mind. That maybe, just maybe he genuinely hadn't meant to do that. He just didn't know his own strength-- didn't know how easy it was to toss your around like a ragdoll, now that he was... whatever he was now.

You didn't realize how quiet it'd gotten, only the faint whir of the medical equipment and occasional sound of shifting clothes or something being picked up-- until Wesker spoke again, startling you out of your downward spiral of thought.

"Is there anything you'd like?" That was... unexpected. Very out of the blue-- and at first, you thought it had to be some kind of test. Like he was trying to trick you.

Cautiously, you needled him for further explanation with a simple, straight-to-the-point "...What?"

Very well-spoken, you were-- but who could blame you, with whatever cocktail of sedatives and (entirely unnecessary, in your opinion) painkillers working through your system right now?

A faint, almost soft, smile graced his face-- as he, unhelpfully, just repeated what he'd said before. "Is there anything you'd like, dearheart?"

Your brows furrowed, as you searched his face for any clue on what the actual hell he was getting at.

Surprisingly, he let you think it through. Didn't rush you, and didn't seem to be getting impatient. You, however, did not want to push that limit, and ultimately just gave and asked "What do you mean? Like... meds?"

Predictably, Wesker laughed-- unpredictably, at least from your point of view, he leaned forward and fucking-- ruffled your hair?

Seriously, did his supposed death and rebirth cross some wires or what? What was going on??

"No, but I don't fault you for thinking that." You grimaced, his hand staying firmly on your head for a few more seconds, before he pulled back-- and you thanked whatever was out there for finally helping you out here, but that thankfulness was quickly dashed when he grabbed a hold of your hand.

It reminded you of when you caught pneumonia as a child, probably around 5 or 6. Your mom sat by your side the whole time, holding your hand just as Wesker was right now.

You wanted so badly to smack it away and yell at him, demand that he leave you alone and just stop acting like he cared--!

"Anything at all, a favorite food, a book, something to keep you busy,"

You should know better then to interrupt him, but you can't help it. It was a stupid idea, the whole thing-- but you had to try. That's all you can do right now, is try whatever you can--

"I want to be let go." Immediately, there was a very... noticeable shift in the energy of the room. No longer was it a tentative calm,

Now it was so stifling that it felt hard to breathe, as Wesker stared-- you're pretty sure, again, his eyes are covered as always-- you down, making you squirm.

His hold on your hand tightened, and you swore you could feel the bones in it creak and shift under the pressure of it.

Right before you were sure your hand would simply cave-- just give in under the pressure, Wesker loosened his grip.

Just enough where you were not longer worried about the immediate shattering of your bones-- it still wasn't comfortable, physically and emotionally speaking.

"There's nothing out there for you, dearheart." The strange sort of monotone aspect of his voice should've tipped you off, should've had the alarm bells in your head ringing louder than an emergency siren-- screaming at you to don't you dare try to push it! don't be dumb!

Evidently, you weren't paying any attention to that. It was like sleeping soundly through a tornado warning--

But hey, might as well start calling your Dorothy, huh?

"I don't care." Foolishly, you tried to pull your hand from his. Obviously, he didn't budge-- but it was a good sign that he didn't tighten his grip any further.

...Mostly because it would absolutely cause some serious damage if he did, and you're sure he was well aware of that fact.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I had a life outside of S.T.A.R.S, outside of you, and you can't just keep me in this room forever--!"

You don't think you've ever seen him so angry before. It caught you completely off guard, how open the emotion on his face was. How tensely he held himself,

"I wasn't planning on doing so! I'd let you roam once you're better, and I know you won't try anything stupid." There was... so much unbridled rage in his tone, that you felt like your heart might give out right then and there.

He'd never raised his voice at you before.

But you were too far in-- this was your chance, with him so worked up; you might be able to get some real answers out of him now.

"Why are you doing this?!" You sat up, trying in vain to yank your hand from his grip again-- surprisingly, he let you do so. But as you came to realize, it wasn't because of your efforts;

He stood, turning his back to you and headed over to the closet-- that was... unprecedented. You didn't know what was in there, and it only made you panic further.

Grasping at straws now, you tried to poke at his supposed admiration of you-- rushing out a quick "What's so special about me, huh? That you go through-- through all of--"

You didn't fault yourself for stumbling over the words, you were still drugged, and it was impressive as hell that you were able to be this coherent as it was.

That, to give credit where credit is due, got his attention. He was halfway through opening the closet-- and for a second there, when he stopped moving for just a second, you really thought he was going to answer you.

Shame on you, for thinking any part of this hellish experience would work in your favor-- because after that momentary pause, he went along his merry way without another hiccup.

Your heart was going a mile a minute, and you leaned over the side of the bed and strained your neck, trying to get a view inside the closet and--

Huh.

Despite your previous assumption, it wasn't so much a closet for clothes, as it was a... supply closet. Like ones you'd usually find in hallways, filled with cleaning supplies and miscellaneous home goods that didn't have anywhere else to go.

But instead of some strongly lemon scented spray cleaner and a dustpan-- there was some more medical supplies. Name bloodwork things, syringes, vials of god knows what;

And Wesker sure as hell wasn't reaching for the bloodwork stuff.

"Please, just-- just answer me!" Desperate saturated your tone, and you begged for a straight answer-- this was all so confusing. Why? Seriously, why you, why now-- why like this?

You couldn't see what he doing for a while, but when he turned, you realized the syringe was filled with something. While it didn't look particularly suspicious-- just a clear liquid in a run-of-the-mill syringe, you knew that not everything was as it seems.

In a last ditch effort of escaping whatever it was Wesker had planned, you threw the white hospital blanket off your legs and stood; you were cuffed, you knew very well you couldn't do jackshit--

But you weren't thinking very clearly, obviously.

To his credit, Wesker didn't really reprimand you for standing. Usually, he'd get a little 'worried' (thinly veiled annoyance, in your opinion) and get you to lay back down,

This time, he just grabbed you. Didn't try and get you back on the bed-- you struggled, God knows you struggled best you could;

In the end, it all amounted to nothing. Like you knew it would.

And yet, you still tried to fight the inevitable.

You felt a sharp pinch in your upper arm-- you looked down to realize he'd managed to inject you with whatever it was.

It took a few moments to register what had happened, and by then it was already taking effect. You stumbled, and managed to slur out a barely discernable "Wha.. was tha-at..."

"Just a sedative, no need to be worried." You wished you were in any condition to give him a glare that'd send any normal person running for the hills-- not that it'd do much beside amuse him, but it's the thought that counts in this situations--, but alas, you really weren't.

You weren't in any condition to give a coherent response either, or fight as he helped you back on the bed and placed the blanket back over your legs and torso, tucking you in like you would with a small child.

"And to answer your first question," Your mind had slowed down exponentially-- rendering you almost entirely unaware to the world around you,

But something about his words, even if you couldn't make sense or make any connections at the time, cut through that fog just enough where you vaguely processed it.

Wesker leaned down, giving you a little kiss on the forehead-- like a parent wishing their beloved child a good nights sleep, before he finally answered.

"It's because you're mine, dearheart. There's no deeper meaning, I simply wanted you safe and by my side. Like you always should've been."

At that point, you were mere seconds from passing the hell out-- the last thing you really registered was this smug sort of smile, like he knew you wouldn't remember a majority of that exchange come morning (or whenever you woke up).

[2am-writing]

You're a Coward Steve Harrington

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader 

Category: Angst to fluff

Summary: Steve has been avoiding y/n for the last month. It’s not until you’re shit faced at a party for him to confess what’s really going on.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, taking shots, smoking, smoking weed while driving (I do not condone this behavior this is just here for the sake of the story and vibes LOL), throwing up, fighting, kissing

WC: 2.5

A/n: Second “fanfic” “imagine” esc post!! I really hope you like it. This was fun to write and please don’t judge my shitty writing lollll I’m still working on it and lots of room for improvement (: 

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“I still think he’s into you” Nancy laughed at y/n as she told Nancy the infamous story of how one day her and Steve were the bestest of friends, inseparable really. How they did everything together- movie nights, parties, dinners, even sleepovers. Steve and y/n became close very quickly ever since y/n moved to Hawkin’s about a year ago. But one day later everything had seemed to banish out of nowhere. 

It crept up slowly, and though y/n was trying not to read too much into it at first, she soon realized she should’ve because when she finally came to terms with what Steve was doing it was too late, and he was gone- Not literally gone as in disappeared but, gone from her life. 

It first started with Steve not returning your calls right away, letting them go unanswered for hours, until those hours turned to days. He stopped walking you to class and meeting up before and after school. He avoided you at lunch, and started making excuses to get out of hanging out. All which ultimately led to him completely dodging your presence.

Finally when it became too much for y/n she pressed him in the hallway, on the verge of breaking down, demanding to know what she did that made Steve want nothing to do with her anymore. Steve’s heart was shattered at the thought that he let y/n think that this was her fault. But overall, he thought losing her like this was a better alternative than getting rejected and ruining the friendship that way. So when she pressed him that day in the school hallway, it took everything in him to say nothing and just walk away.  

Over the course of that month Robin countlessly called Steve an idiot, she suspected the feelings he had for y/n but nothing was confirmed. Steve was too stubborn to admit to anything. And Robin too- like Nancy, tried telling y/n

‘I think he’s just an idiot who’s into you.’ But without confirmation, y/n just accepted that Steve had a newfound hatred for her and the only thing could do was bury her feelings for him and forget it. 

As for y/n, she spent a lot of her free time with Robin when she wasn’t with or working with Steve, and Eddie too- they were just friends of course but they did get significantly closer ever since Steve walked out of y/n’s life. 

10pm hit as Nancy, Jonathan, and y/n stood outside the Wheeler’s house waiting for Eddie to pick them up for a party. You weren’t really sure whose party it was, but Eddie knew the guy which automatically meant you and your friends were invited. 

You were excited, and felt like this would be a good opportunity to finally let loose and have fun after how stressful this month has been for you. You wore a tight black mini skirt, a baby tee that rose just above your belly button, and knee high boots. You wanted to feel good about yourself tonight, forget about Steve and everything he put you through. You were never much of a partier and you definitely preferred smoking and relaxing than drinking and partying, but you knew a switch up would be good for you.

When Eddie finally pulled up you hopped in the passenger seat, as Johnathan and Nancy sat in the back.

“Hey- you clean up nice” Eddie laughed at y/n while passing her the joint he just lit. Y/n accepted the joint gracefully and took a hit of it, before Eddie started driving off to the party,

“Not so bad yourself Munson,” She coughed out before taking another hit, 

“Woah, woah, woah,” Eddie stammered, “One, save some for me-” He took the joint back smoking it, “Two, slow your roll and wait till we step foot in the party before you completely lose yourself.” 

The drive over to the party was no more than 20 minutes. On arrival, Jonathan and Nancy went their separate ways as they are more of the inverted partier type. As for you and Eddie, he took you straight to the kitchen to get started on drinks, 

“Okay doll, what’re you drinking tonight?” 

“Tequila,” You answered without hesitation, Eddie was taken off guard by my answer. He knew that wasn't my typical drink of choice. His eyes widened and eyebrows raised,

“Well shit y/l/n, why do I have a feeling I’m gonna be carrying you out of this place tonight,” He laughed pouring your guys’ first shot of the night. 

You cheered your shot before taking it with ease, then taking a hit of a joint you just lit. Eddie’s eyes looked at you in disbelief as you held the joint in your mouth inhaling while pouring another shot before- he chimed in,

“I don’t know if I should be proud or concerned for you,” 

You shook your head laughing, "I just need to say fuck it and let loose Eddie, I’ve been needing this for a while, okay."

Eddie is aware of the situation that went down with Steve, he’s the one who has been at your side and at your every call, always there to comfort you. He knew how much Steve meant to you, though he never understood why you liked him so much, but you just claimed he never got to know Steve like you did.

“Doll, I know you need this, just be careful please I can’t babysit all night-” Eddie got cut off by his friends welcoming him and dragging him out to the back patio.

All honesty you were fine being left alone, tequila made you wanna dance and that’s exactly what you went to do.. After you took another shot of course. 

You slammed your shot glass on the counter after taking it, then filling up your red solo cup with a mixed drink and hit the dance floor. 

You were doing exactly what you had planned on doing, letting loose and having fun. A benefit to going to a party where you don’t even know who’s hosting it is you don't know a lot of the people here- making dancing with random guys a lot easier.

Whilst in the middle of quite literally throwing it back on some guy whose name you didn't even know, your body suddenly froze up, you felt as if your lungs had started constricting, and anger rose inside of you noticed Steve fucking Harrington walking in the door with Robin- 

‘I should’ve known, a friend of Eddie’s is more than likely a friend of Robin’s of course they’re fucking here.’

You sighed, taking a deep breath in, 

‘Tonight is my night of fun and letting lose, fuck Steve Harrington,’ 

You took another swig of your drink before continuing dancing, you were definitely feeling the alcohol hitting you now. 

Steve spotted you the moment he walked into the house. Jealously rose inside of him as he saw you dancing with some guy. But he still couldn't help but miss you and his heart felt like it was aching. That feeling followed up with the thought of rejection, and he couldn’t help but replay the moment in the hallway you two had shared when you were pressing him, he had never seen you so angry.

He quickly snapped back to reality, he could automatically tell you were drunk, he smiled to himself admiring how confident you looked dancing, drink in your hand, you looked as if you didn’t have a care in the world. He missed your presence. 

A few minutes later Steve found himself in the kitchen grabbing a beer. After taking a prolong drink he heard someone stumbling into the wall over towards the bathroom. 

With curiosity getting the best of him he peered around the corner, and there you were. Drunkenly stumbling, joint in your mouth, your hand pasted to the wall using it to guide you to the bathroom door.

When you reached the bathroom you had slammed the door behind you before placing your joint on the sink carefully, then falling to your knees in front of the toilet waiting for the contents in your stomach to rise up. 

Steve slowly approached the door listening to what you could be doing, he more just wanted to know that you were okay in there. The second he heard you start to vomit, worry washed over him. He lost control over himself and didn’t think twice before he opened the bathroom door. His eyebrows pinched together, sympathy in his eyes at the look of you hanging over the toilet sick. 

Your head had snapped over to the door upon it opening, your face had a look of anger then quickly dropping as you made eye contact realizing it was Steve, 

“What the fuck are you doing here,” Your words slurred,

“I know- I know you hate me,” Steve calmly said while closing the door behind him then kneeling down next to you pulling your hair out of you face and holding it back, “Just- just let me help you please,” 

Before you could respond you resumed throwing up and coughing in the toilet violently. Steve continued to hold your hair back while with the other hand he was rubbing small circles in your back calmly saying, “It’s okay, you’re okay- just breath,” 

Truth to be told, his presence felt very comforting, and as much as you wanted to kick him out of the bathroom, scream at him, and analyze this odd situation- You were far too crossed from the weed and alcohol to even think.  

“Why- are you- here Harrington,” You began choking on your words before tears started to form in your eyes, “You avoid me- for- a whole fucking- month, you’re just gone- and now you want to just show up again,” 

“I know- I know, I-”

Before Steve could finish his sentence you started vomiting again cutting off his sentence, his heart ached seeing you like this,

“Hey hun,” His tone gentle, “Can I please take you home, you can’t stay here like this,” 

As much as you hate to give in so easily you knew you were only gonna feel worse. Plus you had a feeling Eddie left the party already with a girl that was hitting on him on the back patio so this may be the best option for you,

“Okay,” You croaked out grabbing Steve’s shoulder to boost you up. Steve stood up with you wrapping his arm around you to help keep your balance,

“Okay- let’s go” 

He guided you outside the house, walking you to his car. He opened the passenger door for you, helping you inside. The world was spinning, your mind was racing yet it was also blank, you rested your head on the window feeling drowsy,

“Your house or mine hun,” 

“Steve-” you slurred, “I can’t go home like this,” 

"Okay," Steve nodded, driving off to his house. 

You blacked out during the car ride, you felt as if you were jumping in and out of reality, nothing felt real. One moment you were sitting in the passenger seat of Steve Harrington’s car, the next minute you were laying on his couch with a slightly better grasp of reality.

You slowly sat up rubbing your eyes not caring if you smeared your mascara. You noticed Steve in the kitchen holding a cup of water as he started walking towards you, 

“Here,” He said quietly, “Uh- We just got here- like 10 minutes ago- here drink this,” He hands you the cup and you drink the water reluctantly glaring at him, 

“How can you just act like nothing happened Steve? You were my best friend one day, and a shitty- selfish person the next.”

Steve sighs, embarrassed, and unable to look you in the eyes. He knows you’re right, he can’t just have you stay the night without explaining why he did what he did. He knew he had to tell you the truth, and he had to tell you tonight. 

“Do you remember the time- uh- we stayed up all night just talking in my car,” Steve’s demeanor was soft, he was staring at the ground breathing slowly,

“Yeah,” 

“I think about that night almost everyday you know,” He pauses taking another deep breath, “We talked all night- about everything- and you feel asleep on my shoulder at sunrise-” 

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at Steve, “Yes Steve I get it. I was stupid enough to open up to you, about everything, my whole life. What? Just for you to ditch me months later and forget about everything?” Tears started forming in your eyes, you started to fill of rage,

“No, no- Just- please let me finish,” I stayed silent, 

“Y/n I love you-” 

“You’re a coward Steve Harrington,” You shouted at him, “You don’t abandon someone you love,” 

Steve’s head snapped up at you making eye contact, you could tell something changed in him, 

“Dammit y/n I fell in love with you!” He shouted. He maintained eye contact, your eyes widened, eyebrows raised, your breathing fasten, yet you remained silent,

“I’m sorry I abandoned our friendship y/n- I’m sorry I left you hanging. I was scared of your rejection, I didn’t wanna lose our friendship that way y/n. I know it doesn’t make sense, but at the time- you know- it did. I know I’m a coward from running away from those feelings, but I just knew you could never feel the same,” Steve stopped talking and started catching his breath,

“Steve, you're an idiot,” You gave him a saddened pitiful smile, “How could I not like you back? Of course I had feelings for you,” Steve’s expression softened as those words left your mouth,

“Really?” In the moment nothing but guilt washed over Steve, he was happy too- But more so he felt guilty, like a real jerk for wasting all that time away from you. But ultimately, all the worry he had of getting rejected from you had vanished. 

Steve inched closer to you, closing the gap that laid between you guys. He held eye contact with you momentarily, breaking it to stare at your lips. His hand cupped your cheek as he closed his eyes slowly pulling you into him. You leaned into his kiss, your hands hanging around his neck. 

You couldn’t believe this was finally happening, Steve felt like he was dreaming.

When your lips collided it felt as if the whole world around you disappeared. Your lips fit perfectly together moving in sync, his lips were soft and gentle with yours. Everything felt perfect. 

Steve paused pulling back, you were both smiling like idiots at each other catching your breath before Steve spoke up,

“I missed you so much- I’ve been wanting to do that for so long you have no idea,”

“No, you have no idea Harrington,” You laughed, “Don’t ever do any of that dumb shit again,”

Steve laughed shaking his head before pressing his forehead against yours, 

“Trust me, I’m never letting you go again honey.”