#if you’re not one of my special people don’t touch me rn

[miguel-ohara-lover]

Coming Undone

CW: feral, rapture side effects, I know rapture isn’t actually like this so maybe AU(?), no prep, GN reader, p*rn no plot, no dialogue

Note: HI?? Omg it’s been awhile since I’ve written well anything really. But I wanted to write something short and simple since it is a special time of year for a lot of people including me. I tried to make reader as non-descriptive as I could, like I didn’t even describe clothes or anything so I hope that worked? I got random struck with inspiration to write, maybe it’s all the love on my old stuff which by the way THANK YOU??? My love for Oscar Isaac was recently resparked so maybe that’s another reason lol. Anyway- I hope you like this merry Christmas and happy holidays, and if you don’t celebrate anything I hope you had a wonderful year and here’s to many more wonderful years to come.

You felt Miguel’s hot breath against your neck, his large, strong hangs pinning yours against the wall. His chest pressed into your back. God, he was feral…

He did briefly explain some side effects of Rapture when you first got together, but maybe you weren’t listening fully. You remember clearly now, exactly what he said. How it can make him feel, how dangerous he can truly get at times.

Miguel’s fangs grazed the skin of your neck. One bite and you’d be paralyzed. He was smarter than that. He had at least enough control to stop himself from causing real harm, though the temptation was there. He so badly wanted to sink his teeth into your flesh… perhaps another time he can ask if you’d like to try that.

You felt trapped, but not helpless. And trapped wasn’t necessary a bad thing. Feeling caged in by his large towering body was kind of hot. The way his frame made you feel small. His right hand moved off of yours and down to your waist. He shoved the fabric down until it bunched around your knees.

He could practically smell the arousal dripping from you, all his senses heightened and on overload. It was overwhelming. Miguel quickened his pace, letting his holographic suit dissolve away, leaving him bare behind you.

Miguel is very large, he’s aware, and you’re aware. And he’s impatient. The thought of prep does briefly cross his mind, but only that. No, he can’t wait, not anymore.

Taking barely any time to line up, he’s suddenly buried deep inside you. You cry out as he stretched your unpressed hole, but the pain quickly melts into pleasure as you feel his slow and deep movements.

For being so impatient just seconds ago, he is steady with his thrusts. He wants you to feel it deep within you, every curve, every vein. He is savoring the feeling of you around him, and for someone who is usually in control, he can already feel himself coming undone.

Miguel is big, so big you remember the first time doubting if he’d fit. Oh, he made it fit. He made sure you felt every last inch. You couldn’t walk straight for a week. Deja vu is hitting you like a stack of bricks, but it’s not a terrible feeling.

His other hand, that had been holding you against the wall, joined his right at your waist, using the control to bounce you along his length as he thrusted. Your moans grew louder as his pace quickened, the room filled with your noise and the sound of skin slapping against skin.

That combined with the smell, your smell, your touch, the sight of you… it drove him crazy. You felt his claws pricking at your skin, surely he wouldn’t actually pierce you with them, but man is he close to. The thought is there, he so badly wants to, the urge to sink his claws and teeth into you, use his webs to tie you up and just ravage you. He’s aware of how dangerous he is, and he does his best to keep it under control.

You know he’s close when his hips stutter, he gets more desperate in his movements, if that’s even possible right now. He also starts to pant, like a needy dog. This is the one stage in your… fun where he isn’t the dangerous leader of the spider society. Panting and even letting out little whines as he ruts into you.

It isn’t long before you feel the familiar warmth of his seed filling you up, and you soon join him. You let out a final moan and reaching back to tangle your fingers his hair. He remains buried in you for a moment while you both ride out your orgasms, panting as he nuzzles into your neck where his teeth were previously threatening to mark up.

He held you against his strong chest, keeping you up knowing you’d slip if he didn’t have a grip on you. He mumbled some quiet thanks against your skin, and you simply smiled as your fingers tangled in his slightly dampened hair. A shower sounds like a good idea, now that he isn’t overwhelmed by senses and feelings.

[bakery-anon]

I’m taking a nap

[girlboypersonthingy]

valentines day with lucifer pleaseee

YAASSS IM SUCH A LUCIFER SIMP *bangs on table* I love him so much, it’s a problem. Like look at him… 🥹 thanks for the request and ENJOY!

(I don’t own this picture)

Lucifer x reader- Valentine’s Day 🤍

Whether you two have been together for 3 weeks or 3 centuries, he will ask you to be his valentine every. single. year.

Baby boy is such a hopeless romantic I stg

Goes all out too! Would never just get you flowers and chocolates. From the king of hell?! No way. Only the absolute best for his love.

In this case, this is your very first Valentine’s Day together!!! D’AAAWWWWW

You come home/back to the hotel the day before valentines and there’s red and pink balloons every where, rose petals all over the ground, the lights are dim and soft. Very much a romantic movie scene type thing.

“(Y/N)~” Lucifer calls out to you sweetly, softly as he watches you look around at all the new decor.

When he finally has your attention, he holds his gloved hand out to you, beckoning you to come to him.

You can’t help but smile as you run to hug him. He laughs softly against you before he pops the question, his arms gently squeezing you against him.

“(Y/N)? Will you be my valentine, sweetheart?” And all you can do is laugh and hold him even closer.

“Oh, Luci~ Of course I will!”

OBVIOUSLY this dork makes you a cool ass duck as a gift. It’s one that really relates to you, has something to do with your looks or personality or an inside joke between the two of you. It’s special just for you 🥹

Def wants to take you on a nice date somewhere. Maybe a fancy restaurant, maybe to a bar, maybe a coffee shop for some caffeine and sweets.

Def asks you what you want to do and leaves the choice to you. He’s fine with whatever as long as he can hold your hand and give you kisses every 2 seconds so often.

DEFINITELY picks you up in a fancy ass car with a chauffeur and champagne and everything!

Whatever you decide to do, he’s sooooo distracted the whole time. There’s so much on his mind rn and it’s all different thoughts about you, most of them innocent 😈

I mean how is he supposed to keep his thoughts 100% clean and innocent when you dressed so nicely for your valentines date and you keep laughing extra loud at his jokes and blushing bright red at every compliment he shoots your way.

Of course he dresses to the nines as well. He looks great in white, don’t get me wrong. But him in a deep red suit with pink accents for valentines?!,!!??!,? PLZ 😍

He also loves the way people stare when you two go out together. Sure, it’s not totally conventional for the king of hell, Lucifer himself, to be so deeply in love with someone of your status but that’s what really bonds you two. It’s not some arrangement or a deal made for your soul or anything besides true love and attraction for each other.

He loves and trusts you so much, you’re so different from everyone else who fights for his attention.

And you’re just thanking your lucky stars, wondering how the hell you pulled him. He’s so perfect omfgggg

He is sure to ask you if everything is to your liking, how you’re feeling, what you want to do next. He’s very observant and considerate.

It’s hard to even eat or drink or whatever you’re trying to focus on bc he keeps staring at you and holding your hand and winking at you Everytime you guys make eye contact.

Don’t get me wrong! He’s lovey dovey and super sweet all the time but on this holiday of romance and love, he’s going 1000 times harder!

He would totally take you back to his house to finish off your romantic evening.

Probably puts on some music and takes off his coat to get more comfy.

Offers you a drink and goes to make it himself, adding some cute little garnish to it just to be fancy for you.

Sits on the couch in the living room with you and keeps his hands on you in some way. Touching your thigh, holding your hand, rubbing your arm or your back.

Proceeds to talk your ear off about everything and anything as his hands roam your body subconsciously.

Luci definitely talks a lot, rambles on and on to you all the time. Hope you’re a good listener ;) he doesnt have many other loved ones to talk to you so you get to hear it all

He talks so much he probably often tells you the same story over and over again. You tell him “Yes, Luci. You told me this already.” with a sweet smile at least once a day.

Tries to kiss you but accidentally bumps his head into yours instead.

Now you’re both laughing so loud, blushing so bright red and can’t maintain eye contact for more than a second or two.

He probably cracks a joke to ease the tension in the room too. And even worse, it’s some lame dad joke or a pun lmaoooo

Leans in again, much slower this time. His eyes flutter shut and he purses his lips as he approaches.

His kiss is scorching hot but so so soft.

Maybe you guys have kissed before, maybe not. But this kiss hits different. Maybe it’s the Valentine’s Day sweetness in the air, maybe it’s because he’s so goofy and silly and comfortable with you all the time, maybe it’s the drinks you’ve had tonight, maybe all three?

But this kiss…is the most passionate you’ve ever shared with him.

[rewritingcanon]

hpng characters and how they study for exams because im literally dying rn

rose- academic weapon. need i say more. she has the pomodoro technique down pat. she’s the girl at your local library claiming an entire table with an outlet to herself so she can plug her chunky ass laptop into it and make sure it doesn’t explode on her. she has a sugary iced drink near her at all times but she only takes a sip when she feels she’s deserved it. she eats dinner at 1am because she will not let herself move from her desk until she’s completed the practicals she has laid out in front of her. but trust that she’s losing hair and she’s greasy asf and her short fuse is basically nonexistent. she’s also always randomly sick during exam prep, but her symptoms are never bad enough to warrant a doctor’s visit, it’s only hella inconvenient so she’s chugging neuyrofen and vitamin c like her life’s on the line. no special consideration for her. when she experiences one minor setback (technical malfunction, stubbed her toe, bit her tongue etc) she starts angry crying immediately. just don’t speak to her during exam time, she’ll slap you for breaking her concentration.

albus- exam period what exam period. what are you talking about. these assignments aren’t worth half of his grade what do you mean. you’re telling him the essay was due at 5pm today and not 11:59………………. number one— doesn’t cope well at all. in denial until the twenty-four hour mark before his assignments are due and then will lock in as hard as he can but it is absolutely not a pretty process. so don’t even talk to him about it before then. number two— it’s not like he was relaxing during swotvac (idk the british term for swotvac leave me alone) period, my boy was stressed asf he was just procrastinating. you know when you’re too stressed to do literally anything. albus is a prisoner during exam period free my boy. he can’t study, he can’t relax. when he fucks up because of his poor time management he will psychoanalyse everything about himself and convince himself he’s the stupidest mammal to walk on two legs with five fingers. the mental abuse he puts himself through after submitting the shittiest 2000 word essay is crazy. but he is an affront to the english language (he’s surprisingly alright at exams cuz he’s really good at bulshitting, just don’t make him write anything longform 😭 he can’t back up his impassioned opinions with any evidence ok)

victoire- she is the influencer on studytok that makes studying for eight hours straight look like the most aesthetically pleasing pastime ever. her skin is clean, her hair is washed, her clothes are pressed, her eating and sleeping schedule is routine. she’s so not real.

james- most people think he’s an academic weapon because most people will just see the results he gets at the end of the marking period and conclude he’s hella smart. but if they saw the type of basement-dwelling creature he turns into during the study period they would be horrified. he doesn’t touch grass, he doesn’t leave his room, his lips are chapped asf. in fact his room is growing into a whole new ecosystem to account for the cave-dwelling lifestyle james has going on. he’s got the most psycho routine ever, no sane person would replicate this. he’s so mad-scientist-scribbling-incoherent-observations-at-his-barely-lit-desk-at-midnight core. he never sleeps, he only has intervals of three hour naps so it doesn’t disrupt his sleep inertia. friends can’t text or call or reach out to him— he’s on dnd for the next two weeks. you’d think he died. his siblings think he’s doing cocaine in his room to keep himself up. there is the occasional james sighting around 5am where he may trudge out of his room like a night stalker to make himself tea. his face is gaunt and ghostly and his body is brittle and awkward. don’t speak to him because he’s not going to respond he’s too busy spacing out through the entire exam period. if you do get a word out of him it’ll probably not be in a language understood in this world. best he keep to his room.

hugo- he’s absolutely broke yet the only way he can cope is through impulsive storms of online shopping and doing shopping hauls on his close friends. if he had it his way he’d wind down the night with some dti with the boys but hermione has that boy’s arse glued to the dining chair and she and rose are circling hawks scrutinising all of his answers and then insisting to mark his pracs for him. in all realness they do save him because his marks are always pretty good in the end.

teddy- simply did not study if the subject didn’t appeal to him. one of those woke students that truly believed that marks did not equate to worth. knew he would only feasibly want to pursue careers in the subjects he liked so would prioritise one or two subjects. motivational speaker to all his friends. actually didn’t let exams stop him from living his life. his speeches on the wotters aren’t so successful since a lot of them highkey gaf about their results. rose gets pissed off every time he tries with her. victoire politely ignores him. james is disassociating through the entire speech. he doesn’t even attempt it with percy’s kids. bad luck ted.

lily- if there is a person who is the exact type of person who isn’t built for studying, it’s her. she can get away with it at the start of her schooling, because she is quite smart, but when it gets serious its the biggest humbling ever. she just can’t lock in. she’ll have an exam the next day and suddenly she’s knocking on albus’ door and is willing and wanting to listen to him complain about Life Problem #218. she’s suddenly volunteering to help her mum garden and help her dad cook. she’s going to ‘study sessions’ with friends where she forces them to do anything but study. she’s binge watching shows with james. she’s picking up a new hobby in juggling. she’s attacked by a new hyperfixation she can’t get out of her head and she has to spend 6 hours a day looking at fanart. like girl go study. james will give her the most bomb (but lowkey psycho) tips on how to lock in and she’ll get motivated until she looks at her prac and sees an 8 mark short answer question. like goodnight she’s having a nap. also she eats everything in the fridge, no snacks are safe. fuck the no sugar rule fr. she’s not even hungry she just convinces herself she is so she can do literally anything else besides that 8 mark question waiting for her on her desk in her room.

dominique- would drop out.

scorpius- he’s a fucking freak because he probably likes the stress of exam period 💀 like he probs does feel stress about it, but since he’s always constantly stressed out this isn’t anything new to him. “i get to pour over all my in-detail notes i’ve written on all these subjects through the semester again?? and then do an assessment regarding the in-detail notes i have? yippee!!” his optimism is absolutely not shared by his peers but he’s so oblivious to it. he’s fantasising about what topic questions he’ll get and what his damn body paragraphs are going to be. he’s the guy seated behind you in the exam who unintentionally peer pressures you by requesting for another booklet because he’s written too much in the first. he’s the one joyfully skipping up to you after the test is over and excitedly asking for what you wrote about or what answers you got, and when he shares his responses with you, you realise his points were better or his answers were actually correct. and then he’s emailing his teachers every week asking for when the marks will be released because he’s just so excited. weirdo.

[maruyaaya]

talking about my neoptolemus/telemachus wip bc idk how to shut the fuck up!!!

SO the dynamic between neoptolemus and telemachus in my wip is essentially that neoptolemus is in love with telemachus from their first meeting, but he’s convinced that telemachus is too good for him and that he destroys everything he touches so he masks that with cruelty and pretends that he hates telemachus. telemachus is at first, drawn to neo and really likes him, but then neo starts being cruel in his attempts to push telemachus away and that gets telemachus to genuinely hate neo. it’s like a one-sided enemies to lovers. neo wants really badly to hate telemachus, but he can’t find it in him to not love this boy who he thinks shines like the sun. telemachus, on the other hand, just hates neo and he blames neo for ruining this friendship that they could have had.

their relationship basically flips back and forth between neo saying some unintentionally soft shit and when telemachus is like “what” neo just immediately says “but you’re also a weak dumbass so. fuck you.” neo is such a girlfailure in this fic he doesn’t know how to handle emotions AT ALL. he’s grown very special to me in the course of writing this fic which is very funny bc prior to starting this fic, i actually did not care for neo in the slightest before i started writing this fic. i only cared abt him as an extension to achilles bc achilles is my fav greek mythology figure ever. THEN AGAINST ALL ODDS, neo charmed me while writing this fic. like these are some tweets from my priv twt where you can see me progress from not caring at all abt neo to seeing him as my little babygirl son

so yes, i was charmed by my socially awkward son neoptolemus. he’s such a little freak. my favourite headcanon is that maybe in another less angsty fic than the one i’m writing rn, neo wants to flirt with telemachus and bc he’s emotionally inept like his father, he decides the best way to do that is to ask telemachus to spar with him and bc he hates losing, he goes all out and beats telemachus up. it’s like

neo, internally, after punching telemachus in the face: yes, our courtship is progressing magnificently

telemachus, clutching his bloody nose, trying to figure out why neo hates him:

LIKE THEYRE SO FUNNY TO ME!! i love them sm.

but anyways back to the specifics of my fic. they don’t get to be quite as silly in my fic. essentially what happens is that neo hears of odysseus returning to ithaca and decides to visit. there, he meets telemachus and is immediately charmed because he’s such a little loser. telemachus invites neo back to the palace for dinner and neo ends up getting in an argument with odysseus that ends with him going “I WILL TRAIN TELEMACHUS.” and odysseus does not want that to happen so ofc, telemachus says he wants neo to train him.

and the plotline is basically neo and telemachus’ relationship progressing as neo trains telemachus. it’s full of a lot of really sexually charged sparring and angry arguments.

some of you may be wondering why i refer to neoptolemus as neoptolemus always and not pyrrhus even though pyrrhus is his original name. well in my head, pyrrhus is the name that he’s given at birth by deidamia and neoptolemus is the name he takes up when he goes to war because he feels like he’s become a different person. neo struggling between his two names is actually going to be quite a plot point in this fic

because this fic is just as much a character study of neoptolemus as it is a ship fic between neo and telemachus. i spend a lot of time exploring his relationship with his parents and also his relationship with odysseus. it’s neo’s desire to piss off odysseus in the first place that gets him to stay in ithaca with telemachus. i really want to spend a lot of time exploring neo as a character bc so often, people write him as just being needlessly cruel, but i feel like it’s important to remember that he was just a kid when he was brought into war. he has this legacy from achilles that he needs to live up to, but he’s never even met achilles and how are you supposed to live up to the legacy of the greatest of the greeks? how would it ever be possible to make someone like achilles proud? neo’s grappling with his self-worth and identity a lot during this fic.

so far this fic is about 22k words and it’s very special to me. in the vision i’ve created in my head, we’re about 1/4 done but i make no promises because you all know me and how awful i am at sticking to the word counts that i imagine. it could be much shorter, it could be much longer. i don’t make plans. i just sit down in front of my google docs and bleed.

i’ve also been making plans for a little modern au neo/telemachus fic BECAUSEEE i really want to write that little neo and achilles exchange that i mentioned in my last post abt neomachus (teleneo? idk what their ship name is but i like calling them neomachus). my vice is creating wips and never finishing them tho so idk when (or if) i’ll write that modern au.

i guess i’ll end this little infodump off with some fun exchanges between neo and telemachus that i really like in this fic. they’re just so special to me <3

i will absolutely talk abt this fic more in the future as i continue writing bc im so obsessed with it rn. i will do my best to finish it asap but every time i think more about it, it gets longer.

(ALSO the title of the fic is “someday i know you’ll come to your senses” which comes from the song senses by mico who is, yes, the guy who plays telemachus in epic the musical. what can i say? i like it when things come full circle (it’s also a really fucking good song. everyone stream internet hometown hero by mico))

(none of these excerpts are edited or anything btw. if there are any typos please keep that to yourself or i might die of embarrassment)

[goldenspringmornings]

thinking of cassian this morning unfortunately and it’s something I’ve mentioned in tags on other people post but I just gotta yap about it again real quick.

I’ve never understood how or why cassian is so insistent is the best word I can think of rn on his ‘bastardy’ and how hard his life is cause iirc wasn’t he practically adopted into the high lords family at like, 10??? when he and rhys were in the windhaven training pits practically torturing azriel??? cassian almost definitely doesn’t know any other life aside from one of privilege just by virtue of calling rhys ‘brother’ and later being Illyria’s General which leads me into my next point:

yeah no shit the illyrians don’t respect you cassian you’re a race traitor stupid. all he ever does is complain about how backwards and savage illyrian’s are all while lamenting how he can’t do anything to change them but he ‘still has hope for his people’. cassian is just as trapped in the cycle of abuse as any other male illyrian he just can’t see it cause he’s sulking about his own personal trauma 500+ years later and hung up on all of rhysand’s platitudes and conformist rhetoric. and even if he did see it he wouldn’t do anything about it imo cause that would mean having to confront the fact he’s been complicit in the very cultural things he’s always been so derisive of. which leads into my next, and hopefully last, point:

ik a lot of people were/are of the opinion that acosf should have been about cassian and nesta and reforming illyria over….whatever that was….and while I don’t disagree with the sentiment (sf is my mortal enemy) I personally feel that illyria is so deeply tied to azriel and his specific internalized racism that inserting cassian into that ticking time-bomb would be detrimental to all of illyria in the end (not that I expect sjm to even touch on such a nuanced and heavy topic unless she gets to play white savior). I simply refuse to believe that illyrian culture is war and abuse and misogyny, there has to be more to it than that and I don’t think cassian is the one that could explore the true underlying culture of illyria because he doesn’t care- he doesn’t want illyria to change for the better, he just wants it to not be so embarrassing imo. cassian to me reads as a character incredibly ashamed of where he came from and found validation in people telling him he’s ‘not like the other illyrians, you’re special, you’re better than them’ because, referencing my first point, cassian was raised in the household of the high lord, he’s been both purposefully and unintentionally othered from his own people and so can’t see how and why they’re truly suffering and how to best help them

[ossiethegreat]

I WANT. to tell you how much i genuinely admire your work. like it’s crazy. every single animatic/animation you make is banger after banger after banger and im HERE FOR IT. the recent one with delta and color was??? WILD /pos. i love how you showed briefly how much taking care of killer affected color because people don’t often show that side of things and im rlly glad u touched on that,, you’re THE colorkiller person of all time ever. the harvey animatic you made was so good that’s one of my most favorite alex g songs ever and i just!!!!!! you portray both of them so well and your style is so soft n cool and i just!!!!!! Aw man your work is so admirable and cool and im obsessed with every single thing you make it should be a crime!!!!!!! the namida meme (the fact it’s called that and not magical doctor still drives me nuts) you made has a SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART!!!! GRHRHJR!!!!!!!!you ….you!!! make the best animations EVER n i Love them ALL!!!!!!!

ok sorur that’s it just wanted 2 share because the adoration I have for your art was getting overwhelming i just!!!! really like it idk!!!!!

I had to mentally prepare myself to read all of this cause you’re someone I rlly look up to and that’s a LOT of nice words.. 🙁🙁🙁💕💕💕💕

holy smokes TYSSM !!!! oh my gosh you have no idea how much this means to me !!!!!😭😭😭😭💗💗💗💗💗 like I am kicking my feet and giggling to myself rn this is such a big compliment especially coming from you OH MY GOSH AHFHHD!!!!!! TYSMMMM 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️

I’m rlly glad you like my stuff dude I am actually TWEAKIGN at this

And yeah I really like showing color’s side of things because HES LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO ME… he deserves so much more attention outside of Killer…. 🙁🙁🙁

AGGFHF TY AGAIN IM GOING CRAZY

[b00tyliciousbabe]

Guys who could rearrange and flood my guts…pt 1

Welcome to the new hit series, “Guys who I need to clap tf out of my fat ass cheeks.” DISCLAIMER: do not judge me, i fantasise a lot but (unfortunately) irl I ain’t done anything (yet 🤭)

Logan Mandeville

WARNING: THIS IS LONG AF AND NOT PROOFREAD BUT ENJOY.

This guy just gives off BDE, I mean look at him; the toned abs, the strong arms, the body hair - he’s a fucking unit. In my opinion, he’s ugly hot as well, one of my biggest weaknesses. I’m from the UK and he legit looks like one of those white chavs/roadmen that would spark you if you even looked at them, and I find that so attractive. Ughhh I can just imagine him talking so tough and chavvy 😩 but at the same time I can picture him with a Boston accent and that literally makes me wanna suck the soul out of his dick. I kinda think I’m projecting my dream guy qualities onto him because I find him so leng but idc because I love it MWAHAHAAAA

Keeping the roadman aesthetic, I keep fantasing abt sucking him off in his tracksuit and eventually him piping me on the hood of his car. Let’s visualise, he looks like a Liam so for the sake of smut that’s what we are gonna call him…

(setting the scene: you guys are at a party)

It was a cool autumn night,

“Babe you look so fit tonight.” Your boyfriend said grabbing your waist and pulling your lips together. He had always loved seeing you in his brown leather jacket, it looked so big on you, but everyone loved how you styled the look. The kiss lasted for what felt like forever. The lights, the music, the people all drowned out, the only think that mattered rn was the two of you. “So do you,” you said as he stopped tongue fucking your mouth.

See the relationship u had with him was something special. From the moment he laid eyes on you, Liam wanted you to be his. Everyone at school loved you - the nerds, the band kids, the cheerleaders even the students who were basically alienated. What wasn’t to love? All of them…except the homophobes 🤮🤮, and since Liam was captain of the football team, he was guilty by association. That didn’t stop you from finding him attractive. You guys were never even meant to meet. But the day your lives became the storyline of an American teen show and he needed to raise his grade in English, was the day you both SAW each other.

“I’m never going to be as smart as you, no one can compare to the way you are.” Liam told you, and if you weren’t black, you would’ve even as bright as a tomato. “Look at me, you are gonna ace that test, you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for Li” You smiled at him, the eye contact just increasing the sexual tension between you two. “Tell you what,” he said licking his lips whilst staring at you twirling your hair and marking his essay, “if I pass this exam” “WHENNN” you interrupted, “when I pass this exam, would you wanna, maybe go on a date?” You smiled at him so innocently, “Of course, but it means you have to get at least 70%” “70%!! I’m barely pushing 50, omds.” Stop talking negatively, i want you to pass more than you think I do, now more than ever” I defended as Liam smirked at your newfound interest in being with him. Your bf went onto get a 87% in the exam, 2nd highest to ur 98%, and ofc that meant you had to go on a date.

(BACK TO THE STORY) you left him to chat to his teammates who loved your relationship, talk abt growth 👏👏 you went to talk to some of your best friends and the vibe was just so good. Everyone was dancing to the Weeknd. It was crazy in a good way obv. All of a sudden the captain of your school’s rival team starts touching on you. “yooo chill, don’t touch on me like that,” you said and your friends helped you to forget about him. “He’s such a perv, as if you would do anything,” they said “I know right, like I know I look good but come on” you attested. But he didn’t stop and Liam could see you were uncomfortable from the other side of the room. He stared with anger, as he downed his shot of whiskey. He moved towards you. “Is there a problem here babe,” he kissed your cheek as he hugged you from behind. “Nah, Li there’s no issue,” you smiled smugly at the dickhead who tried moving to you. “Can we go love?” You stared up at him. “Of course.” He said gripping your waist tighter, your eyes calming him down. You held his hand, rubbing his forearm to soothe him. “Yh Liam, listen to your lil (f-slur) bitch,” The whole party turned silent. He stopped walking, and you looked back at him to see he was fuming. “Li-Li, just ignore him,” you said with teary ish eyes and shallowed breath. He wiped your cheek. “You go I’ll see you in a bit,” He signalled to your friends to take you outside. “No, I ain’t leaving without you” you gripped his hand. “Babe, I’ll be out in a minute, just go”. Your friends helped you get out of there. The rest was a blur; You remember that your man walked out of that house with a bloodied shirt and blood covered broken knuckles, but at least he was consciously walking, and didn’t have to spend 6 months on life support, limping with a leg that would never kick the same. But hey, no one messes with you.

[lookismaddict]

Lookism: Rendezvous 🔞 (Ch. IX) || Gun Park x Fem! Reader ♡

Author’s Note: I apologize that there wasn’t much happening in the last chapter. That one was kinda a doozy to write ngl. 😭 I decided to mention the YouTube version of PTJ’s universe since that’s what Lookism mentioned before. (Even in Viral Hit too, but that’s irrelevant rn lol) And also, I’m sorry to all the smut lovers! I was trying to build up to this moment because I wanted to balance out the story. I didn’t want it to always be smut all the time or else it’s just going to be repetitive. This chapter though, will definitely lead to the spice that will soon come. I hope you like this one. 🤭💓 (Also, I’m sorry if the format for this chapter is weird. I had to squeeze some stuff in because of space.)

NSFW Warning: Violence, Strong language/Cursing, Sexual Language, and Sexual Content (teasing and sensual touching).

Story Summary: You traveled abroad to help support your mother who is sick, back home in Japan. However, once you reached Korea, everything went downhill until you met a stranger who offered you a deal that could benefit you. But who knew that this special encounter would turn your whole life around…

Driving in silence should be illegal. You thought of how this annoying car couldn’t even compare to how better the Rolls Royce Phantom was, which made you think of a good name for it.

“Kuro Maboroshi.” [黒幻]

Gun gave a slight smirk, now knowing what you’ve been thinking inside that pretty little head of yours.

“Ah, so that’s what you’ve come up with.”

“Well, it isn’t as bad as calling your other car an ‘Obnoxious Goblin’.”

“Hm…”

“So… yes?”

“Fine.”

Turning to the side of the car, you gave yourself a small fist pump for your silent victory, before turning back around to fix your posture.

“Also, I saw that you were busy back there while you made me wait for you.”

Wait, he was there this whole time? Well, here it comes. The interrogation…

“Oh. You saw that?”

“Yeah, I did. I caught you with Eli Jang and the rest of the main members of Hostel.”

Frozen, you sat there in your seat trying to play out the memories that just happened in your head. Now, the name “Eli Jang” is familiar to you. You remembered Gun had mentioned Eli’s name before while he was talking about his successor. Overall, the thought of encountering members of one of the four major crews made you deny the possibilities of ever encountering them in the first place.

“That was them? Nah, there’s no way…”

“Why are you denying it? Have you seen their Hostel tattoos?”

For a minute, you thought about the visible tattoos of the letter “H” that you saw printed on the obvious parts of their bodies. Eventually, Gun took the silence for a “yes” as he continued, “If you obviously saw their Hostel tattoos, then there’s no point in trying to rationalize what just happened. Whatever happened, happened.”

Suspiciously, your squinted eyes turned to look at him. ��You’re awfully passive about this. Didn’t you tell me back at that restaurant that there would be a really low chance of encountering them in Seoul?”

“Yes, I did. But I never said anything about how you’ll NEVER encounter them at all. You just so happened to be lucky today.”

Shocked at Gun’s bullshitery, you scoffed while rolling your eyes. “‘Lucky’? You call THAT lucky? They now know who I am! Well, I don’t think I told them my name because I was in a hurry, but they still know my face!”

“And?”

“‘And’? Why are you so calm?! They already met one of the people who will take them down!!!”

Gun let out a low yet entertained chuckle saying, “Just relax. To be honest, I didn’t think you’d meet them so soon. However, there’s no need to worry. They don’t even know that you’re associated with me in the first place so you can stop stressing about it.”

“Yeah, well… what if I encounter the other crews…?”

“Then you’ll just have to become a better liar and prevent yourself from looking like an open book. Your face can be so readable at times, so work on that.”

Due to that low blow from Gun, you instantly reacted by turning your head to face him. The look that you were giving him from his peripheral vision was nothing more but hatred towards him, that he couldn’t help but smirk at your displeased face.

“Come on, don’t look at me like that. I was only just stating the facts.”

“What do you mean? Is my face THAT readable to you?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

His annoying comments never fail to piss you off as you turned your head to the side, sick of actually looking at his smug face that was clearly enjoying your downfall. To change the subject, you asked him, “How long were you there in front of the market waiting for me?”

“Not too long.”

As Gun continued to drive onwards, he quickly reminisced the sight he saw back at that marketplace.

Gun finally came back from the phone shop with your new phone inside the small shopping bag placed near his ash tray in front of the center console of the car. The white Rolls Royce Ghost, or as you like to call it “Shiro Oni”, arrived at the spot where you were supposed to meet Gun. When his right foot stepped on the brake, he turned the rotary shift knob to “P”. Now waiting for your arrival, he searched around the car for you by looking at his side windows then his rearview mirror. Once he took a glimpse at his rearview mirror, he immediately caught a sight of you, sitting on the bench. His hand was about to press the horn on his steering wheel to signal that he was finally there, but what stopped him was the sight of a small human sitting beside you. With caution, he stared at the figure of that small child as he noticed that the young one looked very familiar to him. That bun, bundled up on top of her head, the little yellow dress that she was wearing, and that pretty round face of hers was enough to remember that the child was indeed, Eli Jang’s, the leader of Hostel.

Gun wondered what you were doing with Eli Jang’s child, as he continued to watch over you from afar. He saw you take out a packet of portable on-the-go applesauce from the small plastic bag you had with you, then gave it to the kid for her to eat it herself. While watching you nurse the fragile child in front of you by helping her digest the food with light pats on her back, Gun pondered about how well you take care of children. First Kouji, and now, Yenna Jang? It was astonishing to see that you had a soft and content side when it comes to children. However, whenever you and Gun would interact, it was quite the opposite. The two of you would somehow always end up verbally dissing each other to no end. Just name any topic, and both of you would break out in a war full of petty curses and insults. His eyes then followed you down the sidewalk, as you were now carrying Eli’s daughter in your arms. You were walking over to two other people who Gun did not expect to see, which was Warren Chae the Gate Keeper and Sally Park the Big Mama of Hostel. This whole scene that Gun was viewing for himself was like watching a TV show. An interesting show, that hits him with plot twist after unexpected plot twist. And oh, does it get better! Finally, the main lead that Gun was anticipating for shows up at the scene.

Intrigued by the sight of Eli Jang joining in with the four of you, Gun’s mouth curved to a mischievous smirk while still viewing the rearview mirror from above. He witnessed you finally speaking to Eli in person as he mumbled to himself, “And now, here comes the real fun. I bet she doesn’t even realize who she’s talking to right now, knowing how slow she can be. Talk about a twist of fate…”

It took about thirty minutes for you to finish your conversation with the Hostel crew, making Gun lie back on his leather seat, grieving a tired groan from waiting for you.

“Damn. Can they just wrap it up already, and hurry the fuck up? I’ve got better things to do.” Knowing that he can’t sound the car horn to avoid drawing any attention to himself, he had no choice but to wait there the whole entire time for you to be done. Eventually, his eyes lit up as he saw that you were already saying your goodbyes. While watching you now dispersing from each other and walking down the direction towards his car, his back shot up to fix his own posture on the seat. When you finally made it to your side of the car door, he heard you knock on it a few times then stood there without opening the door, making him shake his head in amusement. “This idiot…”

He had to roll down the window for you to say, “It’s already open.” before you could even enter the car. Once you were inside the car, Gun didn’t waste any time as he started the car to drive down the path of returning back home.

While Gun was replaying the events that just happened in his head, his mind was forced to return back to the present as it was interrupted by the sound of the crumpling of a bag of chips. His head turned to see what you were up to, catching you now munching on the honey butter chips that you bought recently.

“Oi, what the hell are you doing in my car?”

From the corner of your eye, you caught Gun staring at your direction, as you stopped yourself from consuming that one chip that you are still holding in your hand.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’? You’re eating chips in MY car.”

“So… what? Do you want one? I can give you one if you’d like.”

You reached the hand that was holding the chip over to where his mouth was as you said while babying him saying, “Here Gun, say ‘Ah!’” Gun’s eyebrows furrowed in an irritated fashion, which resulted in him to smack your hand away from his face with the back of his own hand. With that, you ignored him cursing under his breath while you nibbled away on your sweet potato chips. “And what did I tell you about eating when you’re not hungry.” You shrugged nonchalantly saying, “It’s fine! Just let me do this once. I’ve always wanted to try it because of that one commercial I saw on TV. So, please, just this once.”

Gun’s foul mood faded when he suddenly remembered the phone that he got for you. “If you haven’t seen the bag down there yet, I suggest that you go through it now.”

With a curious look on your face, you looked down to see a small bag sitting next to his ash tray. Your hand picked it up, reaching into it like it was a mystery bag. When you felt the bulkiness of a small elongated box, you grabbed onto it to pull it right out of the bag. My oh my, you couldn’t believe what kind of phone he just got you! Inside the bag was the newest model of the iPhone, in which you felt your hands starting to tremble from how surprised and overwhelmed you felt about holding it in your hands.

This bastard really went overboard with the “gift-giving”. I don’t deserve something like this at all! I mean, come on. An iPhone?! Are you serious?! And it’s even the newest version too! I’m afraid that I might break this thing, knowing how brand new it is and how fragile this is. Ah, geez…

While staring at the box on your lap, you said in a reluctant tone, “Are you secretly a Sugar Daddy? Because, what the actual fuck…”

“Do you want me to be your ‘Sugar Daddy’? I don’t mind, if that’s what you truly want-”

“No. I’m good.”

Right off the bat, you denied his offer, afraid that it would give you a big headache from how complicated your relationship already was with him. Also, you didn’t find the extra baggage to be necessary, since you plan on paying him back for all of this someday, regardless of what he has to say. The contract that you two signed together will eventually become void and at that point, you don’t have to follow his orders anymore. Whether he likes it or not, you will pay him back and you will make him take it no matter what.

Sorry Gun, but that’s just how my ideology works.

For now, you decided to just accept it. Either way, he wouldn’t give you a choice to refuse it in the first place. “As much as I’d like to refuse this ‘gift’ and give this back to you even though I can’t… thank you.”

“It’s the least I can do for my student, who’s always so careless.”

Gun’s words made you shoot a sharp glare at his direction, as his eyes were still concentrating on the road.

“Tch. You’re lucky that the contract is what binds me to your words. If it weren’t for that, I would’ve chucked this thing right out the window.”

“I don’t think that would be a smart idea. You still need it.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…”

“I suggest that you look through it and play around with its features, so you can get used to it. I don’t want you to bother me every few seconds, asking ‘What does this do?’ And you don’t have to worry about not being able to use your phone without Wifi. I had someone install a data plan for it so you can use it anywhere you go. There’s even unlimited talk and text for it.”

While rolling your eyes, you retorted back at him saying, “Ha, are you a moron? You’re speaking to a ‘tech nerd’. You even said that yourself, so don’t you ever forget that. Oh, wait… Really? Well, th-thanks, I guess…” From hearing the phone’s cool features, you enthusiastically took out the phone from its box and as you held it in your hands, you turned it on and began to set everything up on your new phone. It took about ten minutes of your time, going through your new phone with ease. Once you opened your “Contacts” there was already a contact saved in the list, which read “Yuzuru” on there.

Confused, you asked yourself, “Who’s Yuzuru?” [結弦]

“Me.”

Right away, your eyes shifted to Gun as your focus was now on him. You raised an eyebrow asking, “You’re Yuzuru? I thought your name is Jong Gun?”

“It’s my Japanese name. I used it because no one else knows about it except for you. Not even the Geniuses know about it. If anyone were to pick up your phone and see whoever is texting you, they won’t suspect that it’s me.”

Wait, he has a Japanese name? So he’s ACTUALLY Japanese? Well, that makes a lot of sense. His Japanese is very fluent, so he must be a native speaker. I wonder what’s his family name. Gosh, and I thought I knew a lot about him by now! I wonder what else he’s hiding. He’s such a mysterious man…

“Oh, okay. That makes sense. But why would you entrust your Japanese name to me?”

“It’s because I know you well by now, to know that you can be stupid sometimes. However, if you’re ‘smart’ enough, then I know for sure that you won’t be spilling my actual name to anyone. Unless, you want to suffer the consequences…”

That last part sent actual chills down your spine. Quickly, you shook your head and responded with, “No sir! I do not want to suffer the consequences.”

“Good.”

Both of you fell silent for the rest of the car ride home, as you managed to send Nurse Aya a text message since you kept her phone number on a piece of paper in your bag. Your text message stated:

“Hi Nurse Aya, this is (Y/N) Sasaki. I’m sorry if you tried to contact me on my old phone. Recently, I got a new phone since my old one broke. I finally managed to send the money to my mother. She’ll receive it in her bank account sometime soon. Once she gets it, then that money will immediately be used for her hospital bills. I already contacted the Doctor about it before I left for Korea, so he’s already familiar with my method of payment. I’ll hope to speak to my mother soon as well, so please let me know when is the perfect time to contact you back. As always, thank you for taking care of her and I hope you have a good day! 😊🙏🏽”

Now time to play the waiting game.

. . .

Eventually, the two of you arrived at the house. You took your leave first from the car as you had to wait for him outside of the front door of the house, since Gun needed to park the car into the garage. When you and Gun finally entered the house, Gun had some business-related work to do in his room regarding HNH Group so he told you not to disturb him, unless there was an emergency. While understanding the circumstances, you nodded as both of you retreated to your rooms. Before entering your room though, Gun made sure to tell you that you can just heat up something in the microwave as usual whenever it’s time for dinner, since he’ll probably eat later. You nodded, as you watched him continue onwards towards his room. When you see him shut his door behind him, you did the same as well.

Once you got inside your room, you crashed down onto your bed, letting out a huge tired exhale. While staring up at the ceiling, your mind started to run wild with a bunch of thoughts in your head.

Ugh, what a day. I’m glad that I got to send mom the money. At least now, I get to pay on time without having to worry about working constantly. That was grueling to even go through that. Now that I think about it, this place isn’t so bad. I haven’t really gotten the chance to appreciate this place until now. I’ve been staying in a nice house. Getting good meals at the right times. I’ve been going to different places where I’ve never even imagined of stepping foot in. All of this feels like a dream. However, I don’t want to think like that or else I might forget the real reason why I’m here. This is mainly because I needed the money. I needed the money to pay for my mom’s bills. I can’t afford to be greedy while I’m here. That isn’t right. Hm… I wonder if Nurse Aya saw my text yet. I better go check.

As you grabbed your new phone from your bag, you quickly checked to see if you were correct, and there it was:

“Hello Ms. (Y/N) Sasaki, it is very nice to hear from you again! And I’m sorry about what happened to your old phone, that must’ve been terrible. Yes, Doctor informed me about your method of payment and it is alright with me. When we receive your payment, we will double check to make sure that it’s all there. In the meantime, we’ll just have to wait for the money to be added into your mother’s bank account. And also, your mom has been sleeping a lot recently trying to recover herself every time she goes through therapy. So, I’ll let you know ASAP when she’s ready to be contacted. Until then, I’ll continue to look after your mother and I’ll continue to wish you good luck in your job over there in Korea! ☺️”

Whew, at least she got the message. I wonder what else I can do with this phone… Oh, right! I can finally contact Kouji and DG! You took out the little slip of paper with their phone numbers as well, as you started off by contacting Kouji. A single text message that was sent to him read:

“Hi Kouji, this is (Y/N)! I finally got a new phone. If you still need anything regarding the game or anything else, let me know! Or if you just wanted to chat, you can send a text message my way and I’ll be happy to reply anytime! 😄”

While waiting for Kouji’s response, you sent DG a message as well:

“Hello DG! This is (Y/N). I got a new phone recently, which is how I’m able to send you this text message. I’ll get to finally listen to your songs, so I look forward to listening to them while using this phone. And as I agreed, I’ll be sending you my thoughts on them too. I hope I’m not bothering you right now, I don’t want to disturb you while you might be working so I’ll talk to you later. Goodbye, and good luck at work! 😁”

Right when you successfully sent your message to DG, you got a notification from Kouji with a message that said:

“Finally!!! What took you so long? And you don’t have to text so formally on here. Tbh you sound like an old lady. 👵 An old lady creep who watches young boys’ computer screens from far away. 😬”

Ugh, this kid. Always saying such rude and annoying things right off the bat. Gun should honestly adopt him. They’d both be like father and son.

“Do you want my help or not? Just one push of the BLOCK button and I won’t be able to help you out. 😌”

A few seconds later, Kouji sent a GIF that shows this:

The GIF caused a laugh out of you as you continued to have this long and entertaining conversation with Kouji all night.

A week has gone by so quickly, as it was already Saturday. Although it was the end of the week, you were still responsible enough to continue to take those birth control pills that Dr. Ahn had prescribed you each day. From the box, the directions read that you just have to take a pill each day but it doesn’t have to be at the same time. However, it is highly recommended that you take it at the same time so that you wouldn’t forget and so you followed the recommendation. You put the pills on top of your bedside table, to remind yourself to take it right before you go to sleep. It was for your safety, in case “anything” happens. You never know. During the week, you were having frequent text messages with Kouji as he sent you articles of new game releases and gameplays of NewTubers who were already reviewing the trending games that were already out. Sometimes, he’d even send weird memes and shitposts to you on the side just to laugh about them. One day in that same week after you and Gun did the usual training session together, you were having lunch with him until suddenly you heard the notification ping from your phone. When you checked to see who the message was from, it was of course, from Kouji. He just sent you a meme of one of the games that you two were talking about from yesterday. He managed to make you laugh at how hilarious you thought it was, as you texted him back about how you felt from the meme he just sent. With the distracting dings from your phone, Gun who was quietly eating, was starting to get annoyed at your frequent text messages as he asked furiously, “(Y/N), can you put the damn phone away for once?! You’ve been at it for a few days now. Who the hell has been texting you so much that you have to immediately respond to them every time they send you a text?”

Feeling guilty from Gun’s outrage, you finally set it down as you looked down at your plate then said, “Sorry… it was just Kouji. He and I have been talking about this new PC game that just released and we became fans of it.”

Gun sighed saying, “Good grief. Over a fucking game? Well, you did mention that you were interested in games before. For some reason, I thought you meant outdoor games or board games. But either way, you guys are so childish.”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“As if I even want to get it. I don’t see the appeal of having to play games on the computer all the time. I would rather just work.”

“Well good for you. At least you have a hobby that you like, so go ahead and stick to that.” Annoyed, you decided to get up and clean your own side of the table before taking your phone with you and storming off to your room without even saying a word to him, leaving Gun to sit at the table alone. Vexed by your attitude, he muttered to himself, “What the hell is her problem nowadays? Ever since I got her that phone, it’s like she’s been addicted to it. Nonstop texting and shit, as if I’m not even here at all. I shouldn’t have gotten her that damn phone. Tch, what a fucking joke.”

After that day, Gun gave you rigorous amount of training throughout that week. The treatment became much harsher as he gave you nonstop, fight after fight after fight. You were forced to get up every time you finished a fight, as he made you duel with him an extra time. Whenever he does this, you would protest because it was already lunch time and your body was already tired, but he would just ignore your refusals. He didn’t care if you were starving at that point. He just wanted to see you suffer, for those days that you had put him through of not being able to look at him properly. Not being able to exchange words with him as often as you used to. It pissed him off every time your attention was somewhere else, and he hated that ridiculous feeling. As his movements during the fights became even more intense, you were surprised that you’ve managed to even LIVE through those exhausting fights. Whenever the training sessions would finally end, you’d always collapse on the ground panting while sweating buckets as Gun would just leave you there without letting you know that he’d be taking his leave. His actions altogether made you question yourself why he’s been acting like that recently.

When Saturday finally came around, Gun decided to teach Aikido on that day since he mentioned to you before, during that week, that he needed someone to help him demonstrate how to properly pull the move. While lecturing this time, he told you to stand up as he guided where your hands needed to be placed and how to properly position your form, with his own hands. As he was doing so, your cheeks couldn’t help but feel flushed from just the small physical contact that he was giving you. “Aikido was created as a form of self defense and it’s all about learning how to disarm someone by using their own attack momentum to your advantage. It’s a Japanese martial art that does not involve much harm, since it mainly focuses on getting the right grip while doing it softly. Although, it does comprise of grappling and joint locking. You need to know how to properly throw someone off balance and how to lock their joints to the point that they’re restricted from using their own hands to attack back. Positioning of one’s hand onto someone’s arm and how fast you can accurately act upon it can disrupt their stance as well. However, you don’t have to defend by just using their arm. It can be in other places where they are vulnerable, like the back of their neck but that’s just another option. Remember that if you do it correctly by controlling your breathing and by physically handling your opponent the right way, then you won’t have any problems by flipping them over with ease.”

During his lesson, all you thought about was how close you were to him and how much he was touching you directly, even if it was mostly your hands and arms. You did manage to listen to him though, which was a shock since you were a blushing mess.

Ughhh when is the demonstration going to happen? I don’t know how much more I can take from this…

Saved by the bell! From the front door of the house, you heard the door bell rang once. Then a few times. Which then turned to an extreme amount of times, as the rings were beginning to sound like sirens going off. In response, Gun’s face turned to a mean scowl, as he let go of your hands and angrily strolled towards the door to get it. When he opened the door, Gun was greeted by the sight of his co-worker, Joon Goo Kim.

“Gun, what took you so long and why aren’t you dressed yet?! Our ride is already waiting for us outside!”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What the hell do you ‘know’, huh? I was expecting you to be all dressed, you bastard! You know how Charles would get mad if we don’t show up on time! That old man can be such a fucking pain to deal with. I mean, come on. Who does he really think he is sometimes, the president of South Korea?! […]”

As he walked inside Gun’s house, Gun’s sanity was starting to decline from Goo’s unstoppable rants. In a way, Gun knew that Goo would be coming to pick him up as he thought of this as a perfect time to demonstrate to you on how Aikido is actually done. Gun started to walk towards the backyard, as Goo followed behind him while blabbering away about Charles Choi and the annoying things that Charles would assign them to do most of the time. From outside the backyard, you could hear someone’s voice coming from inside but you knew right away that it wasn’t Gun’s voice, but Goo’s. When both of them reached the backyard, you caught sight of Goo who was dressed formally in a matching fancy dark grey Tom Ford suit and pants combo, while wearing a black tie. He even got fancy dark brown leather dress shoes on, that were polished nicely. You assumed that Goo was here to pick up Gun for the HNH Group party for today, as you watched them. Gun led the way towards you while he let Goo go off on whatever he was ranting about from behind him. When Gun stopped right in front of you, he announced to you as he said, “Watch closely (Y/N). THIS is how you do it properly.” Gun turned around on his side to give you a better view of his stance and how he positions himself, grabbing onto Goo’s arm all of a sudden before grappling him with such speedy gracefulness.

“[…] I don’t know what’s gotten into his head lately? Does he even know how often we tried to do his bidding for him? It’s fucking annoying. I don’t understand why he couldn’t just do it himself since he’s that stro- WOOAAAHHH!!!”

While observing Gun’s demonstration, your eyes widened at how swiftly Gun flipped Goo over with just a flick of his wrist. It happened so quickly that you didn’t even see him exert any effort into that Aikido technique that he just pulled. When Gun took Goo’s wrist into his hand, he pulled it enough for Goo’s center of balance to break. Then, Gun tossed Goo in a swift roll, leaving Goo to fall on his back. At the same time, it was like watching a scene in slow motion, as Goo slowly fell onto the ground with his back impacting the grass first. With a thud, Goo lightly groaned on the ground, still trying to process what just happened. Gun gave a satisfied sneer at the sight of Goo finally shutting up from his annoying tirade. As Gun’s eyes met with yours, he said, “I’ll go and get dressed. We’ll continue this tomorrow, so just remember my words and remember what I showed you today.” With an understanding nod, he let you go, making his way back inside the house to get ready for the party. Now, your focus was on Goo who was still laying on his back on the floor, lifeless.

Is he okay? Should I lend him a hand?

“Um, Goo? Are you alright…? Do you need help?”

Goo didn’t answer as his body continued to stay there, motionlessly. Worried, you began to think if Gun had probably knocked him out or something. The poor guy must’ve accidentally hit his head on the ground, hard enough for him to pass out on the spot.

Oh no… I think Gun went a bit overboard with that flip. What should I do? Should I call him over here? But what if he ACTUALLY killed Goo on accident??? Does that mean Gun will end up in jail?! But if that happens, is he going to make me help him dispose of the body?! What if he makes me drag Goo’s body over to the Han River at night and then dump it?! Is he going to force me to be quiet?!

As you started to hyperventilate, you tried to take deep breaths. Big inhales and exhales was the way to go to prevent yourself from getting consumed by your own panic.

Okay, okay, (Y/N). Just stay calm! I need to make sure that he’s still alive. I need to check his pulse first…

Stealthily, you tip-toed around Goo’s body as you saw that his eyes were closed. Once you stopped right in front of him, you crouched on your knees then reached two fingers over his neck to check his pulse. Right when your hand barely reached his neck, a hand suddenly grabbed your wrist, making you jump and shriek loudly from the unanticipated grab.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

The unexpected touch caused you to lose your balance and fall backwards, landing on your butt with a hard thud. You winced from the pain that you felt on your bum, in which you heard a laugh in front of you. Your eyes followed the voice of whoever was laughing hysterically. When they have stopped at that person’s caricature, you deducted that the person who was responsible for your fall was none other than Goo. He was hugging his stomach while rolling on the floor laughing at your reaction to his prank.

“God, that was so fucking funny! I didn’t think you’d react like that, (Y/N)! But, hey, my bad…” You were too stunned to even reply to him, as you watched him get up on his own, brushing off the grass from his fancy outfit in the process. Out of nowhere, you heard the backyard’s sliding door slam open, as Gun came rushing into the yard already dressed in his brand new midnight black Dior suit. It came as a matching set with the smoothed out pants. Over his suit, was a long black wool Dior coat which went well with his suit. There weren’t any wrinkles on the clothing that he was wearing either, which was appropriate for his formal party attire. The suit that he had on had a breast pocket, in which a small gold chain was hanging on his left side, from within his pocket. With his suit was a wine colored tie, that displays his refined tastes. Underneath his suit, was his usual white collared long sleeved shirt. In each end of his suit sleeve, were gold “LV” cuff links, which exudes a classy aura from him. Around his right wrist was a gold Rolex watch, with real diamonds encrusted around the rim that glistened underneath the sunlight. The fancy shoes that he was wearing were new black leather dress shoes, which were more polished and had pointier tips than his original pair. His hair was styled nicely, complimenting his handsome features that were already attractive as they were. He managed to comb his hair back, creating a slicked back hairstyle by also lathering it with gel to make his hair stay like that throughout the day. Gun looked like a suave movie star, especially with those black shades on. As he rushed into the scene, you caught a strong whiff of the scent of his expensive Dior Sauvage cologne. Everything about him was perfect to the last detail and everything about his appearance made his aura stand out even more, captivating you unintentionally with his powerful physique. However, this wasn’t the time to marvel at him.

“(Y/N)!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!”

Goo waved at Gun as he said in a cheerful way, “Gun! You’re looking pretty snazzy in your suit. I guess we’re ready to go now! Let’s get going befo-” Goo was surprisingly interrupted by Gun’s fist that was drilled into his stomach. Goo staggered a few steps back from Gun’s impact, as he snickered at the sight of Gun glowering at him with a face of clear indignation. “Gun, you didn’t have to be so violent…” Gun kept his fist clenched, as he said in a low wrathful tone, “The hell did you do, Goo? I heard (Y/N) scream, and now she’s on the ground? You better give me a good fucking explanation for the shit you just did, or else I’m going to have to murder you…” Goo coughed up a bit of blood into his hand due to the heavy blow to his stomach, which did not cease that smirk on his face. “My, my, you can be quite the monster. Already throwing hands right before the party? I was hoping to do it afterwards, but you’re giving me no choice here…”

While watching the both of them in front of you, you could feel the palm of your hands sweat. Your heart was already beating rapidly due to the worrisome ordeal that’s about to go down if you don’t stop them somehow.

Crap… what should I do? This is starting to get out of hand! Why did Gun have to punch Goo in the stomach? Alright, that’s it. I need to get up. Come on (Y/N), let’s… go!

Gun was starting to crack his knuckles, preparing himself to beat Goo with every ounce of bloodlust that he had. Goo was just standing there with his hands in his pockets with a smug look shown on his face, like he was inviting him to attack first. While struggling to get up as quickly as possible, you kept your eyes on both of them to make sure that they haven’t begun fighting each other. Finally, you were on your feet. Your legs were a little off-centered, but that’s fine. At least you were ready to stop them from continuing on with their little showdown. Gun stretched his dominant arm outwards from behind him, as he taunted Goo. “Are you ready to get fucked?” Goo gave a snarky chuckle as he replied back to Gun saying, “That sounds very dirty, Gun. Have you no shame at all? Saying such things right in front of (Y/N) like that.” Gun gave a scornful laugh, almost amused by Goo’s endless jokes till the end. “Even when you’re about to get beaten shitless, you’re still joking. You better not regret your actions now…” As Gun pulled out his fist ready to strike Goo, you abruptly appeared right next to him as you grabbed onto Gun’s muscular arm from behind while yelling out, “NOOO!!!” The both of them were taken by surprise, watching you hold onto Gun’s arm as tightly as you could. Gun’s threatening gaze met with your desperate eyes as you tried to tug his arm away from Goo. “(Y/N), let go of me. I need to beat this guy’s ass for a change…” You shook your head in a disobediant way while saying, “Don’t, please! He didn’t do anything wrong! It was just a prank! I just reacted naturally by screaming! It’s not even that serious…” Gun’s face softened as he slowly brought his arm down. He turned around to face you, asking directly, “Is that true?” Without hesitation, you nodded your head right away. Gun looked at you with a stern expression, checking to see if you were telling the truth. You seemed to be alright with it, so he decided to let the situation go. On the other hand, Goo was a bit surprised to see Gun pacified just by your words. This only fueled his mischievous side even more, seeing that you had Gun somewhat under your spell. It’s just that you didn’t even realize it.

Without hesitation, Gun started walking back inside the house saying, “We don’t want to be late to the party, so let’s go.” Goo’s face transitioned to an agitated expression before chasing after Gun while shouting, “Hey, wait for me! I was the one who said to go in the first place!!!” When the two of them made it inside, you exerted a great big sigh of relief from managing to stop them from fighting.

Whew, what a relief. I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t jump in there to stop them. They could have seriously injured each other or WORSE… they could have beaten each other to death.

Picturing them inflicting pain and immense violence onto each other made you tremble at the spot. You weren’t going to let that thought concern you any further, as you realized that you needed to see them off. Speedily, you entered the house before closing the sliding door behind you. Eventually, you caught up to them at the front of the door about to head out. Goo was still butt-hurt that he hasn’t received an apology from Gun for overreacting to what happened at the backyard. “Gun, I deserve a proper apology. You just punched me without even talking it out! Like come on man, that’s not what bros do!” Gun was at the verge of strangling Goo by the neck but he was keeping his cool together, just because he’s aware that you’re still there with them. While ignoring Goo, he made his way towards you then stopped right in front of you. His eyes looked down into yours saying in his usual informative tone, “I’ll be leaving now. I won’t be there for too long. Only a few hours. While I’m out, remember my rules. The food for today’s lunch is in the fridge so just get it and and heat it up. And if there’s an emergency, call or text me if you need anything.” You gave an affirmative nod, letting him know that you got every last bit of his instruction. “Oh, and one more thing…” He leaned in closer to you then whispered, “There’s something in your room that’s worth checking.” After whispering those words to you, he turned around instantly leaving you in such a confused state.

What did he mean by that?

From behind, you followed Gun and Goo out the door like a mother seeing her own children out. While watching them walk out the door, you waved at them with a bright smile, giving your upbeat goodbyes. “Bye! I hope you guys, um… have fun!” Gun turned his head around to give you one last glance as he jeered, muttering to himself, “Who does she think we are, five?” Goo gave you a wave back as he yelled out loud, “Bye (Y/N), I hope your butt is okay!” From hearing Goo’s goodbye, Gun shot Goo a nasty glare as he asked in a threatening way, “What the hell did you mean by that?” Goo snickered at Gun’s dangerous tone, as he told him, “Now you’re just thinking wrong. I didn’t do anything to her butt, so you don’t have to worry about it. And if you keep scowling like that, you’ll get wrinkles at such a young age, Gun. You’re already blessed with an attractive face, so don’t ruin it along with your body.” That’s it. Gun decided to ignore Goo for the whole entire time that they’re together since he cannot stand him without having a huge urge to hit him. As the two of them got in the car, you still stood there, waving them goodbye. When the car finally left the driveway and was out of sight, you then closed the door behind you.

Now that they’re gone, I might as well see what he was talking about.

Your feet headed straight for the stairs since you decided to go to your room to see what Gun was referring to. Right when you made it to your room, your eyes couldn’t believe what you were seeing on your bed.

Wha- … What the hell is all this for?!

On your bed were loads of shopping bags that belonged to expensive clothing brands. On the biggest bag, was a sticky note that caught your attention. You removed it from the front of the bag as you read it to yourself:

“Get ready, and dress up in these. It’s not definite that I might be back sooner than I expect, so anticipate my return to be in the next five hours. I even got you makeup and other beauty products, so be grateful and use it wisely. Don’t make yourself look like a clown. I’ll pick you up right when I come back.”

While reading his note, your heart started to beat heavily through your chest, conflicted on what to even think or say about all of this.

What the hell? Why did he give all of these to me? There’s way too much stuff! Like, how can I even accept all of these?! I don’t even know how to use makeup, and he expects me NOT to look like a clown?! Ha, please! I’m starting to think that this man is trying to get all of my money. But wait a minute. So all of those bags he was carrying last week… were they mostly for me? How the hell will I even pay him back now, if he keeps gifting me stuff?! UGH, HE’S SUCH A PAIN!!!

You crumpled the note in your hand, squeezing it out of frustration. A tactical grin formed on your lips, laughing at the challenge that he had just dumped on you. “Fine. If you want to be like that, then you better expect that I’ll be paying you back fully, Jong Gun Park.” Eventually, you’ve rummaged through every bag that you had. Among the bags, you found a long silk black bustier evening dress with a backless hole that goes all the way down to your waist from behind while the back of your dress was only held together by one small strap centered on the back, like a bralette. The dress was held up and connected from the back of your neck by a long black fabric that was meant to be draped down, along both sides of your shoulders from the front. The front of the dress displays how strapless it was, with its top half designed to have horizontal silk folds sewn together. On your left breast was a small gold Chanel symbol pinned on there, which shows off its luxuriousness. However, the bottom half displayed to be tight, as the purpose for its style was to show off your curves until it smoothed out to a finishing drapery, flowing loosely at the bottom near your feet. Altogether, it was a beautiful vintage dress, which was a rare dress of its kind. The dress was bought from Chanel, coming from the tag that you saw on it. Behind the tag, you took a peek at what the price of the dress was and… Oh Lord. That’s a lot of zeros. Frozen from shock, you shook your head to snap yourself out of the discouraging thoughts that could lower your self esteem of ever paying him back. Overall, you thought the dress was WAY too revealing, and it made you uncomfortable to even wear such a thing in public. In a way, this made you question what Gun was really thinking, buying you a dress like this. However, knowing him, he’ll still make you wear it since he was the one who paid for it in the first place. You moved onto different accessories from the bags as you took out a box from a second bag.

Oh my god. Don’t tell me…

And indeed, it was. When you saw a shoe box that displayed in bold letters, “SAINT LAURENT”, you opened it to see a pair of leather black and gold colored stilettos. Each shoe had a gold heel that was about four inches tall. The heels were intricately designed with it’s signature “YSL” symbol at the bottom, marking its brand. And above each shoe, were two thin leather straps. One that wrapped around a leg right above your ankle, and the other strap located at the base of your feet, right behind the start of your toes. While observing one shoe in your hand, you looked at it dumbstruck due to the first impression of what these heels gave you. You still couldn’t believe that you were holding such expensive shoes, that could possibly be worth your whole apartment rent back home in Japan. Once you decided to put them to the side, you went through the rest of the things that Gun had given. While checking the rest of the bags, you found a black leather Chanel handbag with a gold chain as its strap and its gold symbol displayed on its front. With the bag inside of it, was a pair of gold Chanel earrings that had the Chanel symbol dangling from small gold chains and a gold necklace that had a pendant of the actual word of “Chanel” hanging from a thin stringed chain. Another shopping bag had loads of makeup products that came from popular brands, including brushes, makeup palettes, liquid eye makeup, and spray bottles of liquids for whatever purpose.

God, he got me the WHOLE SET. What even is this? “Primer”? “Foundation”? The only thing I know from here is lipstick. What the hell do each of these even do for my face? And- oh god…

You reached deeper into the bag full of makeup until you felt a long thin box. Once your hand grabbed onto it, you pulled it out of the bag to reveal a flat iron, for styling hair.

Wow… just, wow. You REALLY outdid yourself this time, Gun Park. Geez, I still can’t believe this. What is his motive for buying me these things? And what did I do to deserve all of this? He’s being awfully nice all of a sudden. I can’t figure this man out.

You had no choice, but to get yourself ready for whatever plans he had for you later. Over the span of those five hours, you decided to bring everything that Gun had bought for you, as you locked yourself in your bathroom to fix yourself up. After taking a shower, you decided to do your makeup. You didn’t know where to even start, so you decided to go on NewTube to search for a makeup tutorial fit for the event of the evening. With all the makeup products that you had and your flat iron, you tried your best to follow whatever the makeup artist was doing on your phone screen. With a dab of foundation, blending of colors and sparkling palettes on your face, and the application of fake eyelashes with other eye makeup, you managed to somehow pull it off. The only thing that was delaying your makeup application was the eyelash curler, which scared you a bit. That contraption hurt at first since you accidentally shut it on your eyelid, making you flinch. It hurt a bit, but that wasn’t going to stop you from finishing what you just started. Once your look was almost finished, you took a short break by exhaling deeply from how tiring that was. It wasn’t as perfect as the makeup artist who did it in that makeup tutorial, but it was decent enough to pass. The way you did your makeup was a natural look, with shades of light coral and pink. With the finishing touches of those fake natural lashes, mascara, wine colored lipstick, blush, and highlighter, you finally sprayed your face with a liquid bottle that said “Setting Spray”. And with that, your face was transformed into a You that you could barely even recognize.

Wow, so this is what Jugyeong Lim felt when she did her makeup in True Beauty. It really does change your appearance into a different person, despite how heavy my face feels right now from how caked it is. Aw man, what time is it? I forgot to check the time!

When you checked the time on your phone, it was barely a minute till three in the afternoon. Luckily, your hair was already dry and you still had time to fix it up.

Alright! Makeup, done. Now hair…

You had to search for another tutorial on how to use the flat iron. You didn’t want to curl your hair, so you decided to just stick to the basics and use it for straightening your hair. From the tutorial that you watched, you had to plug it into the electric wall socket and leave your flat iron there for about ten minutes for it to heat. During that time, you decided to walk out of the bathroom real quick to get a few hair ties, your brush, and your comb. When you’ve returned, it was time to begin with the straightening. You followed the tutorial by spraying your hair with a heat protectant, which will help prevent heat damage to your hair. Next, by taking a piece of your hair from the rest, you tied a bunch of parts of your hair into small sections to easily separate each part for styling. This technique really did work, as it helps you know which part had already been ironed. Starting from the bottom sections, you clamped the heating iron down a piece of your hair close to your scalp, as you slowly glided it down to the tip of your hair which resulted in a silky yet smooth part of hair. You continued to do this for about forty-five minutes, until you’ve gotten every piece done. Once you’ve finished ironing your hair, you got a serum bottle of Argan Hair Oil, taking a bit of it into your hand and applying it from the tips of your hair while working your way up towards your scalp. The purpose for this, as stated by the NewTuber in the tutorial, was another serum that protects your hair while also making it look shiny and smooth. After putting on the oil, you combed your hair by parting your hair through the middle, then smoothed it out to finalize your entire look. With your makeup and hair done, you’re finally ready to dress into the clothing that Gun got for you. You managed to put on the jewelry, the shoes, and the bag on, but it was just the dress that you had trouble with. You couldn’t really pull on it yourself since you had shorter arms than you thought you would, which made you groan in frustration from the struggles of putting on this dress.

Dammit! I can’t reach it! Ah geez, I need to hurry up! Quickly, before he-

A notification dinged from your phone, as it said that you got a text message from “Yuzuru”. When you checked to see what it said, it read:

“I’m on my way home and will be there in 5 min. Be ready when I get there.”

No, no, no, no, no, no!!! I’m not ready yet! Urgh- curse this stupid dress! Why do I have to wear this thing in the first place?! This dress should have a zipper on the side instead, or something easier to pull on!

You sent him a thumbs up emoji, while you start to panic in the bathroom. Many thoughts were going off in your head, as you asked yourself if you should just go out with the strap detached or just say that you couldn’t go by pretending to be sick. You couldn’t even put anything over your dress since you didn’t have any sweaters or coats that would go with your outfit. This was an important decision to make and you’re running out of time.

All of a sudden, while still struggling to put on your dress properly, you heard the loud beep from the front door opening outside as Gun called you from downstairs. “(Y/N), I’m back! Let’s go!” When you heard his voice, you left the bathroom and opened the bedroom door as you shouted, “Just one moment!” before continuing to attempt to connect the strap once more. Gun waited for you downstairs for five additional minutes, until he decided to head upstairs to see what’s been taking you so long. When he made it in front of your door, he gave it a few knocks as he yelled from behind it. “(Y/N)! What the hell is taking you so long to get ready?! You better open the door, or else I’m coming in the-” He didn’t expect you to open the door so suddenly, as you only gave it a slight crack open. He could only see a part of your face from behind the door when you whispered to him, “P-please, give me a few more minutes. I’ll be done by then.” When you were about to close the door on his face, Gun grabbed onto the door knob to stop you from closing the door on him as he said in a sinister tone, “Move.” Scared from his demanding tone, you backed away from the door, allowing him to enter the room.

The gaze of Jong Gun Park made you feel weak as he stared down at you with such a serious expression. His eyes scanned your entire body. Starting from your head, down to your dress, and eventually to your shoes. Every inch and every detail that he took of you was interpreted as absolutely perfect. He still couldn’t believe how gorgeous you were in his eyes. Such elegance, with a hint of sexiness. You’re a woman so breath-taking, that he had to control himself from pinning you onto the bed behind you for him to do such irresistible things to you. Gun still finds it rare to see you dressed in rich clothing such as this, and to see your face and hair done just because of him. However, regardless if you did your makeup or dressed up more properly today, you were still beautiful to him even if you didn’t try to improve your appearance. He thought that now wasn’t the appropriate time to think about such thoughts, which made him focus back on what the issue was at hand. “You look fine to me, so what’s the problem?” You averted your eyes from him, looking off to the side with a light flush of scarlet beginning to display itself onto your cheeks, making them even more rosier than usual. “I-it’s… the strap.” Gun was puzzled at first, asking, “What strap?” You started to fiddle with your fingertips nervously, saying in a soft whisper, “The strap… on my back… c-can you… help… me?” It took a second for Gun to figure out what you were talking about until he snickered before commanding you to “Turn around.” for him. Obediently, you did as you were told, as you slowly yet bashfully, turned around for him to face yourself towards the direction of your bed. Gun swept your hair gently off to the side of your left shoulder. His eyes started to trail down your exposed back, as he stared at your clear skin. The last time he laid eyes on your back was that one time when he did you on the couch. It was tempting to reminisce those memories, while he fumbled with your back strap from behind. While he was trying to attach one side of the strap to the other, you couldn’t help but blush madly at what was currently going on.

Is this real? Am I dreaming? Geez, this is so embarrassing! I can’t believe that I had to ask him for help just for him to do this. Ugh, when did it suddenly get hot all of a sudden? And what is even happening right now???

At that moment, it was like your vision was seeing swirls. You could feel your body starting to heat up from how close Gun was to you. Was it his body heat affecting you? You couldn’t tell. You could even feel your heartbeat booming deep inside your chest. That deep “lub dub” tune was all you heard through your ears, from how tense you felt. Once you felt his hands finally release the strap on your back, you assumed that he was done attaching the strap onto your dress. You turned your head around to thank him with gratitude saying, “Thanks Gun, I don’t know what I’d do without-” However, when you turned your head around, you stopped midway as his face was already in front of you, due to him leaning in close to you from behind. With a concerned demeanor on your face, you asked, “Gun? Is there something wrong?” All of a sudden, you felt Gun’s hand graze down your exposed back softly, earning a soft gasp from you. The touch from his hand was like a feather running lightly onto your skin, making you tingle. His hand continued to slide down your spine, as it made its way down to your hip, and then onto your ass. You felt his other hand hold onto your other hip, as he started to rub your ass with his busy hand in such a sensual way. The friction of the cloth rubbing against your ass from the movement of his hand was enough to cause you to emit a few moans from your mouth, in which you immediately had to cover your mouth to hide them. While he was doing this to you, you glanced at his eyes, and you could have sworn that his eyes were now filled with pure lust. With a breathy whisper, he said into your ear, “You’re a real temptress, (Y/N). Tempting me like this, knowing that you’re too irresistible to do this to. You’re really wearing this dress that I picked out for you, just for me, right? I know that you could’ve refused this in the first place, yet you decided to wear this in front of me. How bold of you…”

From Gun’s sultry talk, you already know that the evening that’s ahead of you, will just have to wait. There’s no chance that the grasp that he had on you would soon release, now making you regret ever asking him for help.

Oh god, what have I done?

[End of Ch. IX]

[shastafirecracker]

For previous context, see @mydetheturk‘s post about Vash fearing Knives & the violation of Vash’s autonomy, and the followup Stampede-specific post by @pancake-breakfast about that Vash‘s relationship with guns.

Now for my ramblings, which are ALL SPOILERS ALL THE TIME for all versions of Trigun but particularly the manga - so please be mindful if you’re doing book club and don’t want to know things before you get to them!!

ETA I made a couple of edits because I didn’t realize I copy pasted the pre-proofreading version of my doc, lol my brain is fried like an egg (it’s feels-like-110F outside rn)

So I tagblogged before but I'll own my shit this time: I wanna talk about Vash-as-gun. Vash's three guns move from external to his body (revolver) to implanted foreign object in his body (gun arm) to literally part of his cellular structure (angel arm). His reluctance to reveal each one steps up in magnitude. His angel arm is the primary reason he sees himself as monstrous.

Pancake’s analysis of Stampede is fantastic and I just want to loop in the other two versions because I have had the brainrot for decades and adore them all. First, it's really interesting to me that what pancake said about Knives giving or creating the conditions for all of his weapons is also explicitly true of the 98 anime but not of the original source material - it seems like adaptations really like to source Vash's access to weapons and/or ability to use weapons back to his brother, "the violent one," positioning Vash as almost ontologically nonviolent. But I want to look at Maximum for a minute because the difference there is absolutely fascinating to me.

In 98 and Stampede, Vash shoots Knives with a gun Knives gave him. In Maximum, the flashback where he loses his arm, Vash simply picks up a gun that was nearby - specifically a gun that belonged to a human who was brutalizing him, and whom Knives had just murdered in order to rescue Vash from harm. Vash doesn't need to be handed a tool of violence; he doesn't have that moment that he has in both 98 and Stamp where he looks at it in shock, as if he'd never considered touching such a thing. No Vash is easy to anger, but Maximum Vash is the only one, upon feeling extreme anger, to immediately turn to the nearest option for retaliation. In Max we also never see how Vash got The revolver - it isn't special, it doesn't have a backstory or a secret extra purpose, it's just a gun. Just a gun that Vash has trained himself to be very, very skilled at using, presumably one in a long line of guns he has trained with.

Something I was talking about on Discord recently with some folks is that Maximum Vash is extremely willing to hurt people. He does not kill, but he does not shy away from committing violent acts, and it is much more clear through the artwork and expressions that when he shoots people, it fucking hurts them. 98 Vash retains his willingness to shoot basically anyone, but sanitizes it somewhat - his shots to the shoulders, hands, legs, etc all just get an "augh!" voice beat and someone falling over. Obviously there's real-world reasons (rating, distribution, animation style) for the lack of blood and for simplifying artwork; this is not a criticism. 98 is more cartoonish all around and I adore it and want to squish its little cheeks. BUT, back on topic: in the cases of both 98 and Maximum, we see Vash very willing to shoot people nonlethally, to subdue them - but nonlethal gunshot wounds are still an extreme physical trauma! Everyone Vash shoots suffers for it. They will have pain, possibly surgery, they'll need recovery time, they'll need medicines that might be limited in availability, they may lose function in parts of their bodies. Maximum I think invites the reader the most explicitly to think about these things, as a couple of times we see goons post-fighting-Vash in hospitals (right? I think that's true).

Stampede is fascinating in that it's chosen to make almost all of Vash's nonlethal, subduing combat moves based around using his gun as a cudgel. He smacks people unconscious all the time. And that's not to say that concussions don't have their own long term consequences, but his unwillingness to pull the trigger is part of that whole this-is-a-younger-Vash thing. I do wonder how much more willing to fire he will be in season 2. Anyway.

I'm going to gloss past his prosthetic for the moment because I haven't fully formulated my thoughts about it yet - something something body horror, something something self destructive choices made while depressed, the use of grindhouse aesthetic, the complex set of social dynamic & psychological differences between open carry and concealed carry, idk idk more other thinky thoughts I haven't thought yet.

I want to return to the angel arm though because the thing I restrained myself from saying in the book club tag due to spoilers is that: this is a gun only Knives and Vash can fire. For the first ~massive number of pages of the manga, only Knives ever fires an angel arm, and he always only fires Vash's angel arm. Knives is also perfectly capable of summoning the same sort of vast destructive potential, though in the manga his takes the form of giant blades instead of a gun (whooooole other post about bringing a gun to a swordfight & vice versa, please refer to volume 14 of Maximum). But he desires to access Vash's destructive potential instead of his own. Knives' motivations are also a whole other post. The point I wanted to make was this:

Vash voluntarily fires his own angel arm ONCE, as far as I can recall. Correct me if I'm wrong. But the only time he fully generates the arm under his own power, in his right mind, of his own volition, is to escape the Ark. He has just emerged from the most oppressive and gruesome violation of his bodily autonomy he's ever experienced and, as far as we know, ever will. He has no other weapons available to him, barely even any clothes: all he has access to is his body, so he uses it. Knives shows clear shock and rage, potentially at Vash using a power Knives has come to feel belongs to Knives. Shock and rage at Vash reclaiming not only his body but the part of his biological identity that Knives knows Vash has been trying to excise for their whole lives. This may be the single most psychologically impactful moment of defiance towards Knives that Vash has ever shown, except for one other, which I will get to.

Not only does Vash fire the arm, he displays a shocking mastery of it. Somehow by putting him in a pressure cooker for months Knives has turned coal to diamond here: Vash went from unable to access his own latent power to, from then on, exhibiting comfort and even finesse with using it. He generates the arm on the Ark oriented to fire at Knives, and then effortlessly reverses the orientation to fire behind himself to make an emergency exit. Later, when Vash accesses his power again, he is able to use tiny, controlled bursts of it to not only destroy things but to load other objects (bullets) with unreleased power which he can activate at his choosing. That is a truly bonkers shift in skill and I love how the manga underplays it, because Vash so rarely says anything about how he feels about his own relationship with power, so you have to take these readings from his actions.

The other impactful moment of defiance I mentioned above is related to that total mastery of the angel arm/gate: Vash ultimately brings his trio of guns full circle by imparting the inherent quality of himself-as-gun into the most external of his guns, the original revolver. [Tangent: It's a neat visual in Stampede that they had him making gate bullets in the final showdown in episode 12, but I kind of dislike its placement in the narrative, because to me Vash's gate-bullets from the very end of the manga are a powerful symbol of his journey through his abilities. Maybe Stampede is suggesting that being plugged into the matrix and like, turning inside out through his gate or whatever in ep 11 did the same thing as the pressure cooker of the Ark in the manga, idk, we need season 2.] He makes the gate bullets for his final fight with Knives for perfectly valid strategic reasons (total control over his energy expenditure so he doesn't risk burning out by miscalculating mid-fight) but beyond strategy, there's just the fact that he's truly spitting in Knives' face by putting Plant/Gate power into a human tool. In Knives' eyes, the tool of their oppressors.

Vash melds the tool of the self with the tool of the oppressor to defy both. To prove that power is just power, it's all malleable and interchangeable, and that what matters is what you choose to do with it. Vash epitomizes "guns don't kill people, people do." (Another tangent to say that I'm not expressing my personal beliefs here; I'm sketching out stuff I'm reading into the narrative of a story, not writing a manifesto. Character study doesn't mean agreeing with or lauding everything a character stands for.)

Anyway. Vash's ultimate victory comes from two distinct ways that he chooses to use his inhumanity: first, he externalizes his destructive potential by placing it into a human-made, nonliving tool - essentially, finally able to excise from himself the part of being a Plant that had always felt monstrous to him. Second, he finally fully internalizes the part of being a Plant that he had rejected out of fear and self-disgust: intergenerational communication. He wins by talking to his sisters. He wins by allowing his selfhood to be subsumed by the collective and by trusting his own kind to love him and listen to him and not try to take away his hard-fought sense of self (all things that Knives did to him multiple times). His sisters listen to him and then they let him return to himself. I don't think he'd ever felt safe talking to them before - maybe guilty and scared, that by so thoroughly rejecting his own species, they would reject him right back. Along with the trauma reactions Knives caused, of course.

I think that's all I had at the moment about Vash-as-gun in the manga... I might return some time to the prosthetic, or go back to the other versions for more thinky noodling. But yeah! More meta plz! Delicious Trigun meta in the year of our lord 2k 23 absolutely unbelievable, we are feasting well.

[crimsonicarus]

hello! im curious and bored so i hope you don’t mind but feel free to answer any of the following questions if you’re comfortable doing so <333

1. favourite football rpf ships and why? maybe some unpopular opinions about popular ones etc etc

2. describe your ideal f1 season where everything happens as you want it, the driver you want to win, others who have good moments here and there and those who don’t and why :)

3. just a general question but favourite way to spend your time when you’re free from any responsibilities that distract you otherwise?

Omg hi anon!!! I don't mind answering any of these questions! And thanks for the ask <3

1. I would say my favorite football RPF ships are Thomas Müller/Manuel Neuer, Joshua kimmich/ Leon Goretzka, Martin ødegaard/Aaron ramsdale, Martin ødegaard/Erling Haaland and Antoine Griezmann/Lucas Hernandez.

Neuller was the RPF ship that got me into writing so that one is very dear to me, kimmetzka is one of the first ones I remember shipping, Martindale was the one that got me into writing long fics, I also tried non lineal narration for the first time for my Martindale fic, Martin/Erling is an anomaly for me but it has some pretty god fics, same for Antoine/Lucas. I also really liked Toni Kroos/James Rodriguez or Cristiano Ronaldo/James Rodriguez.

I would say my biggest unpopular opinion is that I dislike all ships involving Messi, but that's a me thing as I strongly dislike Messi.

2. My perfect F1 season would have George winning but not like Redbull is winning rn, I would like to see actual battles for the podium, this dream season would have Fred vesti on an F1 seat, less races (specially street circuits), I would love George to win his home race, same goes for Charles. Williams would get points more frequently, Lando would remain winless, Danny Ric would be fired, Liam would be back. Carlos Sainz would never touch a podium and George would be driver of the day a few times. In this season Oscar gets a win, zho gets points. And would end with George WDC as seb said, and constructors to Mercedes with a galex line up

3. I love watching video Essays! The last one I watched was about bio-power, bio-politics and homo-sacer, I love listening to people's opinions on either pop culture themes or something more related to my field ( I study poli sci and international relations) I also like cooking, reading and collecting pieces for my webs! Past days I've been ignoring my thesis so I spent a good amount of time on Pinterest plotting webs, I also like going to Malls and see new clothes, drink some boba and maybe have dinner with friends.

[cirqosmos]

i know i’m not in the position to make decisions for your blog but if you suddenly lose interest in writing or in K-pop in general, please don’t delete your blog🥹 you’re the only writer i have rn because almost all of my favorite writers here deactivated which means that i will never ever get to read their wonderful works anymore… i love yandere and fairytale genres and you are one of the perfect writers for it! i really adore your works like, they became my bedtime stories lol i’m a silent reader of your works because i’m too shy to reveal my acc obviously why i’m in anonymous😭 you became one of my comfort writers the reason why i don’t want to lose another writer that’s special to me. I may not know you irl but i am your biggest fan. I’m sorry if this is long but i just want to tell you this because you deserve to support for being a wonderful writer. If anyone tells you otherwise, they’re missing out or just blind. Continue to inspire and make people happy! I wish you all the best and happiness in your life inside and outside tumblr. Are you already getting tired of reading? You better not because i don’t really write long letters for anyone. But don’t get ahead of yourself this is just a one time thing🙄🙄

#ily💛

HELPPP I LOVE YOUR SASSINESS IN THE END HAHAHA IT MADE ME LAUGH ILYYY 😭😭 i will treasure this rare and long letters of URS <33 and don't worry anonnie! i understand how u feel cuz I also have a very favourite fic that had disappeared bc the author had disabled her blog, so when i came back to check it a few months later, it's whoosh whoosh disappeared into atoms ?!?!? SOOO GUESS WHAT? I SPENT DAYS TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO GET THAT FIC AGAIN. And I found it after searching for hours by reblogging it in a different way AND I WAS ABLE TO READ IT AGAIN YAYYY !! so haha gotta stop telling bout me but my point is i truly understand how u feel so even if one day if I somehow lose my love for writing, I would never delete my blog cuz i've worked hard with all these fics to just delete. it's nah uh for me ✖️✖️

so don't worry, I won't delete my blog :D it has been my decision ever since I started this blog and SRSLY ANON I LOVE IT WHEN MY STORIES BECAME YOUR BEDTIME STORIES like that rlly aligned w my dream to be a children's book author so thank you, that rlly touched my heart 💜💜 this answer is getting too long haha, but in conclusion. i am so grateful for every word that you spent prob minutes to write, but it's still your precious time so I'm so so thankful for u! thank u very very much anonnie 💛💛💛

[the-travelling-witch]

thanks for the encouragement! *sticker of paimon flexing her buff arms*

yeah i get the feeling, unfortunately, nowadays whoever tries to compliment me will get a "no" as a response, although i'm trying to get over this :') so i will help you throwing you in a sea of affection and compliments both for you and your writing 🤺 (in case it wasn't obvious, i'm the aggressively caring type)

ahh for xiao i can see so many places where he could get a tattoo, just like you, so yeah go grab a pen and make him your canvas! that's a beautiful love language imo, exchanging art by using your loved one's skin for it, it's just so cute and intimate ;^; like a little secret that is not so secret unless you gave the drawing/writing a special meaning only you two know :'3

that indigo menace better like japanese food cuz i only had it like thrice in my life and want more!... or i'll bite his neck tattoo as if i don't do that on a daily basis ahah

i agree tbh, when people are like "HOW COULD YOU" you know you did a good job in squeezing their hearts like a sponge <3 kazuha and xiao are like, trying to cope healthy maybe out of the love they had for their lover, childe is... well, childe, and aether reminds me of those "i will sacrifice the world for you" kind of guy (we love bloodthirsty lovers)

overall, as usual, you did such a great job TvT

— ❄️

i’m trying to get better at taking compliments, if only to make the people giving them feel less awkward, but i’m always scared of coming off conceited when reality couldn’t be further from that, so i always brush them off or just don’t react to it; aggressive caring types are so wholesome, i can be like that too though

i love that love language so much!! i need myself an irl xiao to give and receive it with!! i answered an ask about it before but i can’t dig it out now… tl;dr it combines physical touch with a creative outlet plus it’s so so intimate it makes my heart weak!! it’s why i had to include it in kazuha’s and i’m very sure we’ll see it again in other parts (i wonder why i have so many xiao centred thoughts around it, hmmmm)

i think you’re fine as long as it isn’t sweet!! actually, i think he could cook it for you!! do you want to hear about another prompt that makes my heart flutter? dinner dates but homemade <3 it’s such a classic but having an attractive guy someone cook dinner for you in a dimmed apartment and watching a movie afterwards while cuddling sound so so good to me (i’m projecting this onto this rn but it’s normally very childe-coded to me ㅠㅠ)

i’m always more nervous about posting angst than fluff bc i want to make it hit hard, so strong reactions are always welcome; bloodthirsty lovers are (in fiction) so attractive and what for? what? you burned the world down for me? aww babe, you didn’t have to!! >///<

[enrapture]

15 and 26

I’m going to warn you this is a little long and I doubt you or anyone else will care let alone, take the fucking time to read any of this as it probably doesn’t matter to you in the slightest but because I was asked I wanted to write it down for future look back.

15: Talk about something exciting or good that happened to you this year? Hmm I met two bands (second time seeing them both.) that I really enjoy. I flew from New York to my home state just for a few days to hangout with an old coworker/friend of mine and we traveled to Huntsville just to see them with me. Aside from the concert, I had a horrible yet eye opening experience about personal things. Without giving too much away. I spoke for hours upon hours multiple days in a row with my friends roommate and opened up to him about everything basically a lot of shit (I was also seeing my dad at the time and that obviously made things worse) and gave me so much insight and helpful advice on a lot of different things about a lot of periods of my life and it was so nice opening up to someone who understands and gets it all. Back to the main event: I spoke to / took a photo with dead poet society (they’re fucking awesome.) and for just one sec spoke to Johnny from highly suspect. Never got a photo with him because I didn’t wanna bother him but he was so nice. :) it was a dope time.

Another thing that happened, someone whom I consider near and dear to my life whom I felt a good connection with (im probably insane for saying any of this) but I consider them close to me. Ended up getting back in touch with me after a long time of not talking to me because they had other shit going on. They ended up apologizing and wanting to connect again as well as come to an understanding and opening of both perspectives on the time frame we were spending together before they put me in the dark (ghosted me & fucked me up emotionally a good bit) I won’t go into detail but it’s all good how things are patched. We talk pretty regularly and bond over the silliest fucked up jokes and video chat every now and then. We always end up having 4 hour long conversations every time we talk and honestly I never have had that with anyone and it warms my heart so much thinking about it. it’s not even major conversations either lol it’s just everything in between randomness and comforting?? it’s nice to just sit and talk about everything in life with someone man. Just to feel no judgment just listening and sharing… it’s interesting. just to be open as if you’re floating on top of water hand in hand with someone. That connection is rare I think? But again, maybe I’m just utterly insane and thinking things very one sided as my brain could just be making it all up / out to be LOL. as it does with my panic attacks as well as it’s 4am rn and I’m writing this so maybe it falls down to I think a little bit to much and jump but ~ it truly is one of the special things to me and I’m happy that they’re in my life again because their place in my life is pleasant & important I’d say. Very much appreciated I suppose. As I’m very hesitant with who I let In and I don’t have very many people in my life who keep up with me / vice versa it’s always a pleasure. I feel like you cross paths w/ ppl for a reason. Making connections with people enough that when something occurs between you two and you both are wanting to continue that bond instead of severing it because you think you’re good for the other person and that y’all share a lot of like minded shit. Is real. Is nice???? Is remarkable and beautiful. I think. I hold those who are in my lil circle close and dear to me. Like family. So maybe again I’m probably fucking too nice, too open and too trusting to a degree to certain people and maybe they don’t feel the same and ya know that’s okay! It’s not something that goes unnoticed though and stands out a lil to me. In my opinion I believe that People grow. People make mistakes. People change. People fuck up constantly. And people change some more. Life is all about learning. Experiencing and understanding. You come out one form and change into many depths of formalities in life… you’re never the same. And that I think is okay :) it’s a part of life. Shit happens. It’s all in what you do, how you handle it all. To leave you with this quote from the movie Good Will Hunting, that came to my mind Sean says to Will “Boy, and she had the goods on me too. She knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things “imperfections,” but they’re not. That’s the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds.You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense: this girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you’re findin’ out that one is by givin’ it a shot. You certainly won’t learn from an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell a pissant like you.” And I think it’s lovely and important. It at the very least is striking haha. There’s a lot of good quotes in the movie. It’s not my favorite by any means but it does stand out a lil. :))) and made me think of it when I wrote this. So if you don’t end up reading any of this at least you’ll notice the quote standing out and take something for yourself off of it! :3

Edit: I also think everyone, everything has something to teach you. Sometimes multiple things. Life is all about learning. More and more about others and more and more about yourself. Take what you can from it. Nothing is permanent although words tend to linger as well as certain moments in life. Try not to stress everything so much and breathe and just flow through it all. + bonus One of the many reasons I love film(s) 🖤 there’s so many lessons within them not just entertainment face value.

26: do you usually remember your dreams? I remember some not all of them but a vast number end up standing out. A few days ago I’ve been having dreams about my mom talking with the person I described above and it’s been very weird as they have never met or spoken before besides my mom being dead and this person being alive rn it’s pretty odd. But both sit in my brain pretty often so it makes sense why I would dream about both of them oddly enough being together in the same dream.

[wa-royal-tea]

Previous | Beginning | Next

(Transcript under the cut - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

Cynhelm, Astor (3:48pm)

Leon (text message): Just touched down. Omw to the palace rn. My father wants to see me.

Nora (text message): Did something happen?

Leon (text message): Idk. It’s probably nothing.

Nora (text message): Okie. Does Alfie and Lina knows ur leaving today?

Leon (text message): They know. They said it’s fine. As long as I can make it to the wedding.

Nora (text message): Oh. Alright.

Nora (text message): I’m with Alfie and Lina rn, he’s asking if ur going to his bachelor’s party when ur done with work.

Leon (text message): I’m not sure yet. My secretary just sent me my schedule. It’s packed.

Nora (text message): Oh no...

Driver: Your highness, we’ve arrived at the palace.

Leon: Alright. Thank you.

Leon (text message): Gtg. I’m at the palace rn. Say hi to Alfie and Lina for me. Take care.

Nora (text message): Ok. U too.

Hairi: Welcome back, your highness.

Leon: Hey, Hairi. Where’s my father?

Hairi: He’s in the yellow drawing room. He has guests over.

Leon: Guests?

Hairi: Yes, sir. The King invited Duke Hastings and his daughter for lunch an hour ago.

Leon: I see...

Hairi: I’ll show you the way. His majesty has been waiting for you.

Leon: Alright. Lead the way.

*door knocked*

Maximus (from the room): Come in.

Maximus: Oh, Leon. You’re here. Come, join us.

Leon: Sorry if I was late, father. I just arrived.

Maximus: It’s alright. Here, I want to introduce you to an old friend of mine. Isaac Hastings, the Duke of Northfolk.

Leon: Hello, your grace.

Isaac: It’s a pleasure to meet you, your highness.

Leon: The pleasure is mine.

Maximus: And this, is Lady Astrid. Isaac’s only daughter.

Astrid: I’m glad to finally meet you, your highness. You look better in person than in the pictures.

Leon: Oh, uh...thanks.

Maximus: Isaac is my good friend since high school. So I hope you and Astrid will get along well. Treat her nicely, Leon.

Isaac: I’m sure he will. I’ve heard that his highness is very kind to the people around him. I’m sure he’ll be kind to my Astrid too.

Leon:...

Astrid: I heard you went to St. George for University. How was it there?

Leon: It was fine. But I didn’t stay long.

Astrid: Really? Why?

Leon: St. George’s not really for me.

Astrid: O-oh, I see. I went to St. George as well and I heard rumours that you were a student too. But I’ve never met you. Now I know why.

Leon: Mhm.

Maximus: Why don’t you show Astrid around the palace, Leon? I heard Astrid loves walking in the garden. Maybe you can accompany her there?

Leon: But father, I—

Maximus: Leon.

Leon:...alright. Please follow me, Lady Hastings.

*door opens and closes*

Maximus: *sighs* I apologize for my son’s rude behaviour towards your daughter. It usually takes him a lot of time to warm up to someone new.

Isaac: It’s alright. Don’t worry about it. They have a lot of time to get to know each other. They’ll get along sooner or later.

Astrid: Oh wow...the garden at my family estate is not as big as the garden here. Look at all the flowers!

Leon: It’s nothing special. It’s just flowers.

Astrid: Some flowers can be deadly, y’know. Like that one.

Leon: Oleanders?

Astrid: Yeah. It’s poisonous. If you touch that, you’re going to get rashes. You can even die if you ingest it.

Leon: Oh, that’s...interesting. I guess.

*phone rings*

Leon: Sorry, I have to take this.

Astrid: Yeah, go ahead.

Nora, Alfie, & Catalina (on the phone): Hey~

Leon: Hey! What’s up?

Alfie: Nothing, we just want to see if you’re still alive.

Catalina: Yeah, Nora said you’re meeting your father. I hope everything is okay.

Leon: *laughs* I’m alive. Geez, you guys are overreacting.

Nora: Are you sure everything’s fine there? You don’t seem too happy.

Leon: I’m fine, Nora. Don’t worry about me, alright?

[xgryffinwhore]

september nights

request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught

warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.

word count: 2118

before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.

through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.

“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 

he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 

he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.

he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:

“bill!”

his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”

smack.

your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.

the rest is basically history.

now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 

when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 

bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 

it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.

“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”

 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”

you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 

you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.

“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.

“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”

you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 

you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.

“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.

“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.

“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.

“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”

you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 

bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.

“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”

he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 

he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”

he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.

he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 

he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 

you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 

without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 

“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”

“i love you too bill.”

he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”