#if you want to do illegal drugs then do them -- break the law and live dangerously

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

[mylovejimimi]

The Kims, your breeding problem | SJ & NJ TWO SHOT PT. 1.5

— PAIRING: mafiaboss!seokjin x mafiaboss!namjoon x mafiaprincess!reader — GENRE: smut +18. minors dni — WARNINGS: omg none? sorry i didn't include much smut in this one, i didn't have much inspiration so i just made this to add a little context and to move the plot forwards. — SUMMARY: Desperate to save your empire and your name, you walk into the lion's den with a plan. Turns out those two lions had a plan of their own, and now you're the piece of meat they had been so starved for. — WORDS: 6k >>> You can read part 1 here <<< Soooooo it's been a while lol I have so many things to do omg but i'm happy i can give you something, even if is a little lame like this continuation lmao I swear to bring you something much better in the next one, pls forgive my dry mind and busy life, ilyyyy Please remember you can send me a tip by buying me a ko-fi if you like my works, it will meant the world to me ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ And as always, i look forward your thoughts on this. Enjoy !

Namjoon had picked an interest in you since he started in the whole crime business thing. You were big in that circle, more for yourself than for your family’s history. News always carried your name around, and then, one day, he had the luck to run into you in one party.

Back then, he was an orphaned eighteen years old whose only chance at life was to be a construction worker or a bouncer at a club, given his prominent height and overall bigger frame. Somehow, he ended up being a bodyguard at the service of some minor drug lord that loomed the outskirts of Seoul; he saw all kind of illegalities at work but could be proud of having never participate in any of them. However, any little remaining morals he had were thrown out of the window the day his boss was invited to a big party – the party your father was hosting.

The opulence of your mansion left his jaw on the floor. There weren’t that many people, but the power and easiness all of them exuded left him green with envy: no one there knew what was to have bellyaches because of how hungry you were to get sick for eating moldy food from the trash and having no hospital that would treat you, to fight to death with people that wanted to rob you or take advantage of you. None of them had lived a single tragedy, none of them even had to worry for breaking the law to survive and the possibility of prison time because all those people were over the law. It angered him; that party got him so furious to the point that he almost resolved to get out of that business, out of that circle of rich people, and start over as a fisherman in the sea or something like that. Or just go and jump under a train.

Just when he was about to turn around and leave, he saw you. There you were, appearing in a cinematic sequence: strutting down the staircase in your flowy, red dress, while all eyes were on you. You were in the spotlight, as always; shining more than any of the dresses and expensive jewelry being worn there. You had all the power in the world and you knew it, of course; he could see it in your prepotent smile, your ruthless eyes, your arrogant vibe. Only nineteen years old, but you showed so much promise and hunger for more – didn’t even hope for more, you just naturally expected it, felt entitled to more.

You were also very beautiful physically – he felt attracted to you like everyone else, after all –, but the poise and status you had entranced Namjoon beyond words. He decided he was going to be just like you, or even better. He was going to have all the power in the world. He was going to have you.

Seokjin, on the other hand, had always been lurking around you. Waiting. Plotting. Achieving.

In the beginning, he was the good guy. He was a nice kid, introverted yet polite and pretty smart. His family had served yours since your grandfather began his incursions into morally questioning matters. He was born into the same opulence you were, but it wasn’t his. He had traveled with you, and get to know many places far away, but as a servant. He had dinner every night on the same table as you, but he was the one picking up the rests of food you threw on the floor maliciously.

Each and every time he had to clean after you, carry your things around and put up with your whims and spoiled bitch tantrums. Insults, degrading words, and even objects were shoot his way by you any time of the day for any random reason. No other family member of his was treated as poorly as him, and no one knew why you picked on him. But he put up with all of it from birth until he turned fifteen.

Seokjin was a nice kid, but he always had a short temper, and each time it was more and more difficult to contain himself around you and your shit attitude. He tried, tried, tried but one awful day, you were in a bad humor and went to punch your favorite sandbag – him – who was in a worse humor.

That one time, you were both teens and full of hormones, each one dealing with their own teenage problems. You hated all you had to do to be better than your brother, please your parents and gain a second of their precious attention; Seokjin hated you and how he was chained to you to be your slave for God knows how long. You made his life miserable, always reminding him how worthless and stupid he was, how useless for society he was since he was so damn poor and dumb. You had said to him once – after sniffing a little crush on you from his part – that you could never give him a chance no matter how hot he gets because he would always be the same pathetic, useless bastard good for nothing but cleaning her shit; and that was exactly what he was remembering while washing your dishes when you came running to him at the scream of ‘you piece of shit!’. A crystal glass flew your way, followed by a plate, another glass and a ‘shut the fuck up for once, stupid bitch!’

After the big scandal you made in front of everybody – your parents, his parents and other employees of the mansion – your father gave Seokjin’s father an ultimatum: the violent little shit that almost hurt their precious girl gets lost before morning or all of them lose their jobs and get wiped out the face of the planet. Needless to say, within an hour, Seokjin was chased out of the residential neighborhood by your father’s thugs.

He wasn’t homeless for long; knowing the people in the business, he was linked by somebody to the same druglord that, years later, employed Namjoon. The old criminal took a liking in him when he saw his thirst for blood, his recklessness, his egocentrism; Seokjin was afraid of nothing now that he decided he wanted revenge and nothing else. So, he learned the ways, the ins and outs, and soon enough he befriended Namjoon, forming an alliance with him to overthrow the old drug master and start their own illegal enterprise.

Years working, years scheming, both with very different motivations but the same target: you.

…

Stirring up from sleep, you were disoriented for a good amount of time. You opened your eyes and set them on the ceiling but didn’t move, feeling soreness taking over your body from your feet to the last hair of your head. When you tried to move your arms and couldn’t was when you remembered where you were, and realized that your hands were tied again. You groaned.

As you were thinking what to do next, a snore interrupted your train of thought. At your right, Namjoon slept soundly on his back, snoring from time to time. At your left, Seokjin slept on his side with a frown on his pretty features – and both assholes had their sweats on and let you stark naked. Was it that they trust you enough to sleep with you or they were just dumb? Though, you were tied up, really sore, naked, and unarmed, so you weren’t exactly a threat.

Moving as little as you were capable while depleted of energy and having your hands literally tied, you sat yourself against the headboard and waited until the men woke up.

Did they really mean it when they said they wanted to make you pregnant? Had they read your mind? Because that was exactly what you had in mind.

After years watching your father wreak havoc everywhere he went, you realized his method wasn’t the most efficient always. Murdering the enemy to take their place? That’s how you conquered kingdoms in the Medieval Era, but not in the modern day; not when your enemy was as elusive and as informed as you. The many ‘surprise attacks’ your father orchestrated failed miserably, resulting in many of his men killed and his enemies to declare revenge against him. That was how your family was losing all its former power and glory, how you were losing money and influence. But you were smarted than that.

“Look who just woke up.” Seokjin groaned once he heard your voice, hosting a frown even before opening his eyes fully. “Prince Charming, the father of my child.”

“You’re fucking insane” the man muttered, sitting on the bed and looking at you in disbelief. “Aren’t you even the littlest bit worried about being held captive and forced to give birth? I can’t fucking believe you.”

“I told you there was no one like me.” You grinned proudly at him. “Besides, you’re hot enough to not ruin my good genes, so maybe I’ll give you a chance for the sake of my linage.” You expected him to tell you to shut up or something along the lines but it was radio silent. You saw Seokjin’s face transform in a second; his previous grimace turned in a stoic seriousness and he looked at you dead in the eye, with the coldest stare anyone has ever directed your way. His reaction did spark a little worry in you.

“What did you just say?” he asked in a mutter while taking hold of your arm, gripping it hard.

“Hey, this isn’t –”

“What did you just say – give me a chance?” he repeated with the same neutral tone through clenched teeth.

“Okay, chill, I’ll resist and kick and scream or whatever, no need to –” He interrupted you by pulling you close to his face, which sported a lethal scowl. His clutch on your arm tightened to the point you were sure it would bruise, but you were pretty shocked by the change in his whole persona to react accordingly.

“You don’t know who I am? You still don’t know who the fuck I am?”

“A fucking Kim? I don’t know what you want me to say, dude.”

“Fucking bitch! After all you fucking did to me!” the man yelled on your face, now shaking you aggressively. You refrained yourself from yelping and showing signs of fear, but the reality was that, this time, he was genuinely scaring you. What was he on? You hadn’t known him personally until that night. What could you had possibly done to him?

Namjoon woke up from all the scandal his brother was making; however, instead of being surprised and maybe even stop him, he just sat there rubbing his eyes, watching the scene unfold with a frown. Immutable, he saw how Seokjin left your arm alone and went for your hair, using it as leverage to make you stand on your knees when he stood up from the bed.

“I’m Kim Seokjin, that name doesn’t ring a bell?” The sting on your scalp made you groan but that wasn’t the answer Seokjin was looking for. “Answer me!” he demanded. Disoriented, you shook your head no, making him scoff. “Of course, it doesn’t. You made my life a fucking nightmare but you didn’t even bother to remember my name.”

“Man, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about –” And it was the truth. You didn’t have a clue of what he was accusing you of. You were far from an angel, that’s for sure; you had made many people suffer and turned many lives into a living hell, but Seokjin’s? You would remember fucking up his life. You would definitely remember a man like him.

“It’s so cruel that you don’t remember him, baby” Namjoon added calmly while lounging there on the bed, watching you like he was on the beach just admiring the waves of the sea –so unfazed by his brother’s outburst. It can’t be that serious, you thought. “He was that kid with glasses that worked in your house. You know, the one you kept fucking over? Your pet or whatever.” Your clueless face was the last straw for Seokjin, who threw you onto the bed with force. You grumbled when all your weight fell on your hands at your back but none of them cared. Your scalp still burned from Seokjin’s strong hold.

“I’ll make you remember me, stupid bitch” he promised through clenched teeth as his hands tugged brutishly the waistband of his sweatpants. Maybe it was the good shaking Seokjin gave you and the following toss, maybe it was the insult, but suddenly a light bulb went on in your head and you recalled who the man had been in your life.

“Wait, you’re that whiny bitch that almost kill me.” The older Kim clenched his jaw and pulled your body by the legs to his own standing in the side of the bed. You scoffed, putting all pieces together at last. “That’s the reason why I’m here? Seriously? It’s been more than ten years already, man, just get over it.” Now that you knew what was going on, it didn’t even surprise you when he took hold of your face abruptly. It was always so funny to you just how men would turn into villains because a girl was mean to them when they were twelve. “Wait, wait, let me be the bigger person here: I’m sorry, okay? I had always been a spoiled bitch and all that, but who could have taught me manners in that house? I was raised by literal criminals.”

“I couldn’t care less for your fucking reasons; you were more than a bitch back then and are a nuisance in the present. I should have busted your head open that night.” Albeit his menacing words, you didn’t perceive the threatening energy they should deliver. If anything, Seokjin seemed annoyed by his revenge. Reasonable, you thought, he had stretched it this long it, it’s no longer fun.

“Well, as I said before, just kill me now and finish with your fourteen or fifteen-years-old vendetta.”

“I promised Namjoon he would have you.” Still immobilized by Seokjin’s hand, you looked at the mentioned man by the corner of your eye; he gave you a wink and a smirk. That… you didn’t mind that. “And, as I said before, killing you would be the easy way out. You have to go through what I did and pay with your body.” A spark warmed your insides when his unoccupied hand cupped your breast – however, you still had a deal to seal.

“As tempting as a life being your sex slave sounds, I have other plans.” Disregarding you completely, the older brother started kneading your breasts with both hands. Namjoon joined him taking you by the armpits and yanking you up the mattress into a sitting position against his chest. “You said I was a nuisance, why?” A miscommunication happened between the brothers, because, while Seokjin remained silent with the intention of ignoring you so you would eventually shut up and know your place, Namjoon, who liked you, spoke up.

“You’re too strong. Your pussy has some kind of magic that makes men be loyal to death to you. The most powerful won’t let go.”

“Goddamn, Namjoon. Why are you telling her that?”

“She’s not going anywhere, hyung, this information is useless now. Besides, I’m wifing her and it isn’t nice to hide things from my spouse, don’t you think, baby?” You turned your head to give him a tight smile. It was dangerous to trust any of them, but there was at least one snake in that snakes’ pit that wasn’t going to bit you that hard – or even bite you at all, if you were nice enough to it.

“The fuck are you saying, Namjoon? This is not a damn rom-com.” Seokjin looked way too annoyed at his brother’s excuses, and you thought that maybe it was more personal than it seemed, and maybe your hypothetical wedlock had something to do with it – though, it would be illogical to you if a man like Seokjin felt anything but bitterness.

“And so what? My life is not all about crime and money, I want a family too, man.” His brother scoffed and rolled his eyes. Namjoon wasn’t someone that took offense in things that easily; however, he lived for irritating his hyung. “Sorry not everybody is as miserable and unlovable as you. I’m actually a pretty decent guy.”

“What a load of crap.” Seokjin let go of your body and stood up. “You turned me off with all that bullshit. So whatever, I don’t feel like using this bitch now.” Expecting him to turn around and leave the room, you were surprised when he went to the mini bar in the room, poured himself a drink and sat on the sofa in front of the bed.

“What, you’re going to watch us?”

“What else is there to do? I’m not leaving you with this simp. He is likely to let you go with a kiss on the forehead. Fucking cuck.”

“Well, this bitch doesn’t feel like being used now.” You looked briefly to the man behind you, to see if he was on your side even the slightest. He was not.

“You really think you’re calling the shots here, dear?” Seokjin clicked his tongue in disappointment. “We have a lot of training to do with you. Hoseok! Jungkook!” he shouted. In an instant, two men dressed in black entered the room solemnly; not a single emotion on their faces when they saw your naked body. “You will give all of us a show now. Learn that I decide what you do and who watches you doing it.”

When Namjoon secured his strong arm around your waist and descended a hand on your folds, you knew there wasn’t a way out but obeying that bitter asshole.

…

It was very difficult to find someone in the circle Namjoon moved in. He had already experienced three attempts of murder with beautiful women as bait, and an endless number of pseudo-dates with gold diggers. He wasn’t romantic per se, but he did yearn for an authentic, loving relationship, and a big family as a result – and you, that didn’t need his money because you had much more than him nor could kill him while being their hostage, were the very possible solution to his problem.

Namjoon’s desire to have a family wasn’t always as evident as in that point of his life, when he got all the financial power and influence he once dreamed of. Although life was great and all for him, he realized a feeling of hollowness that no amount of money, designer clothes or prostitutes could fill, or even conceal. Not anymore, at least.

He was smart enough to trace that desire back to his lack of a family since birth, and even admitted to himself that he needed tight bonds in the present as much as he had needed them when he was three or fifteen years old. It was not easy, however, to open himself completely to meet someone for an authentic, loving relationship. How to let himself be loved if no one had ever loved him? As uncomfortable as the feeling was, he needed to feel loved. He needed to be cared for. He needed to be important and special to someone for who he was as Namjoon the person, not as Kim Namjoon, Mafia’s Grim Reaper. Plus, he loved Seokjin as a real brother would, but he couldn’t rely entirely on his only friend for the rest of his existence; that man had a life of his own, after all.

Luring you into their mansion, then, was hitting the jackpot for him; even after all those years since he first saw you, he still had the hots for you. Having you under their thumb gave them absolute power over your fortune and business, and gave him the possibility to have a somehow okay relationship with a woman he felt attracted to and who had the same ideals as him. Killing two birds with one stone, right? And he was so sure he knew enough about women to know how to manipulate you so you would love him. It was brilliant, in his humble opinion.

Although, there was one potential problem that became more evident day by day: Seokjin. The man acted all mighty and unbothered, but after all those years working together, Namjoon knew better; he wanted to have you just as much as him, and not in a reversed-roles-revenge situation – which wouldn’t be so bad, if he wasn’t in a permanent childlike tantrum state. They had shared before, they could do it again, but as long as Seokjin denied his attraction to you and disguised it as a physical retribution for all you did to him, he would just be a pain in the ass for you and Namjoon.

…

“You know, when you said I was being held captive, I really thought it was just a figure of speech. Didn’t even cross my mind that you would actually keep me in this room like I’m an animal in a cage.” Exiting the bathroom in a white bathrobe, not at all like the ones in your home, you looked at Namjoon with a frown and crossed arms. He just stared at you innocently while sitting on the bed and folding your clothes.

“Sorry, princess, orders from above. Seokjin is in a power trip since you came so he thinks of you as his prisoner.”

“Aren’t you on his same level? Why are you letting him do as he pleases?” The man’s response was a nonchalant shrug. You cursed under your breath, decided to not lash out on Namjoon because he could be the only way out for you – and you really needed to be out of that room or you would actually go insane. You were sure it had been weeks already. “And what are you doing here, anyways? It’s been days and you keep coming and acting like my maid.”

“I like the domestic roleplaying.”

“So, it isn’t only that Seokjin doesn’t want me out but you also keep me here to play house?” Putting the last of the shirts he bought for you on the pile of clothes he also bought for you, he grinned and made an affirmative sound. “Is it that difficult to find a real girlfriend?” In your head, you meant it in a mocking way, but out loud it ended up sounding like a genuine question.

“You know it is, baby” Namjoon replied matter-of-factly. “You can’t tell me that all men around you are fit for a serious relationship.”

“Why would I want a serious relationship? I was loved enough as a kid, I don’t need that fairytale bullshit.”

“Good for you but some of us didn’t run that luck of having love or a family in our lives.”

“So I have to believe that, because you didn’t have parents, you come and act as if we’re a couple to feel like you’re actually wanted by somebody.”

“Oh no, I am really wanted by lots of people, but what I want is to feel loved by a person I consider my equal.” You snorted. It was the most ridiculous thing you heard a man say.

“Haven’t you tried therapy?”

“Not my thing.”

“Who says I love you, anyways?”

“You will love me. On your own or by Stockholm Syndrome.” You chuckled sardonically at that.

“You know what? You’re right. It’s either falling in love with you or with the viper that is your brother.” Loving them or not was the least of your concerns; first and foremost, you had to look after your enterprises and striking a formal relationship with the Kims was the least risky way. The family business was a kingdom torn apart that could not stand a chance if being put up against the Kim’s mafia.

“You know he is not actually my brother, right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“It wouldn’t be illegal to marry us.”

“You really care for legality at this point?” He shrugged once again. “And you think I would marry you?” He got uncharacteristically serious in an instant.

“Look, I’ll be straight with you: I want a family because I didn’t have one. I want a wife and children and all that. It won’t work with just any woman but it could work out with you.”

“Why me?”

“Unlike my brother, I don’t underestimate you at all. I know you’re pretty smart and I know you figured out by now that an arrangement between you and a Kim will be only beneficial for your decaying family.” So, Namjoon was the brain there. You were mildly impressed.

“And for you and your unstable connections, since I’m such a hindrance for both of you and your affairs with powerful people.” He smirked at you and your sharpness. Not a single thing escaped you and he really liked that. “As strong as you appear, not many people trust two nobodies, huh?” Now you were talking. Namjoon clicked his tongue and gave you a real smile.

“You don’t have to say it like that, baby, it hurts my ego.” You shrugged.

“I see which one of you two has the balls.” When he chuckled, you noticed his dimples for the first time. Was it the domestic ambience and the casual sweats-and-shirt attire what made him much more attractive then than when you first met him? Whatever it was, you wanted him to start negotiating or just leave you alone – small talk and thinking about his hotness would not help you get out.

To your dismay, he put his big hands on each side of your hips and pulled you to him until you stood between his open legs, looking up at you with his head tilted and wide eyes. It was so intimate you almost gagged.

“Women like you get on my nerves, but” the man said lowly, holding your gaze. “I really like you, Y/N.”

“That’s my pussy magic.”

“Yes, but I also like you whole, not just when I fuck you.” His thumbs caressed your hips over the robe while he talked, and, for a moment, it felt real; like you had a bond with Namjoon, like he truly meant what he said. Nevertheless, you knew you were just hallucinating as a byproduct of the confinement and Namjoon being somehow nice – and he was taking advantage of that to make you slip, you could tell. Would he succeed? You didn’t think so; it's been days interacting with no one but the Kims, but the only person you knew you could trust was yourself.

“Listen, I understand you’re too deep into this marriage fantasy shit of yours but cut the bullshit, you don’t really know me, bud.” You crossed your arms and looked away in indifference, but by your peripheral view you saw him biting his lip slightly. Was he trying to seduce you now?

“May I get to really know you, then?” His eyes never strayed from yours, barely blinked even, as he leaned his head on your stomach. It wasn’t surprising that a man like Namjoon was so well-versed in being enchanting women; he had such acting skills that he looked genuine in his actions. Like he was really into you. Like he actually wanted you.

“No, you may not. And get out of my space, you creep.” Tittering, he let you push him away from your body. “And stop giggling at everything, it doesn’t make you look friendlier.”

What would he gain from making you trust him, though? It was true that you had more influence than them, and they killing you would not change that. Their best shot was to join forces with you to gain the favor of anyone, but it was vital you showed that you endorsed them. Then, what was he trying with you? You had no idea.

Namjoon got up from the bed slowly, his frame towering over yours and making you look and feel tiny (which your personal trainer could testify you definitively weren’t). A sudden tension raised between you two. His energy shift was accompanied with a hand stroking the side of your neck and a sleazy smirk. By now you got familiar with his changes in behavior, and oh, you were in for a very eventful night.

Sleeping with Kim Namjoon was just as enjoyable as you expected, if not more. The man wasn’t just about his pleasure, no; it seemed he also got off from giving you pleasure, as much as he could for as long as he felt like. Like in that moment, when he caressed your lower lip with his thumb as his lips descended on yours – both his hands also descending on your body. It made you so mad that his sensuous movements stirred some intense heat in your core. From the way your body reacted to him, you were sure he pulled a Pavlov on you.

“I’m telling you, sweetheart, you will love me.” In a swift motion, his strong arms hooked under your thighs and he picked you up roughly like you weighted nothing, walking towards the nearest wall to slam you against it. You yelped and cursed at him. Namjoon just laughed. “Are you sure you don’t love me already?” Your poorly tied bathrobe opened and exposed your naked form to the man’s eyes, who always enjoyed the sight and didn’t miss the chance to thrust up his clothed crotch into your bare pussy.

“Fuck you, asshole” you gasped, but didn’t fight him when he buried his head on your cleavage, making a path of kisses towards your left breast.

Namjoon took your nipple between his lips, sucking lightly and stimulating it with kitten-licks, but before a single moan left your mouth, the door was whipped open and Seokjin strutted into the room. If he was the least surprised from finding his brother feasting on your chest, he didn’t show it; he just looked at you smugly. He seemed in a much better mood than the last time you saw him:.

>> The last time he went to your room he was in a rage fit. You didn’t know but that day he tried bribing a congressman that was close to your father, who refused to switch sides and go against your family – the tenth failed attempt of turning people against you in the week. He was really mad and so he went to your room to fuck you and rough as punishment for existing and to let out off steam – which resulted counterproductive, because one, you actually enjoyed the whole thing, and two, as soon as he came, you started nagging at him to let you out of captivity. It was his last straw that day; with only his briefs on, he stomped out slamming the door behind him. Then, it was only Namjoon visiting you daily.

“I have great news for all of us” Seokjin began, standing less than a meter away from his brother and you. Uncomfortably close. “Please, carry on and don’t mind me, just listen.” The younger man ignored his brother completely, focused on sucking a hickey on the tender flesh of your breast. Closing your eyes at the pleasing sensation, you weren’t able to see Seokjin arch an eyebrow and take your jaw harshly, so you would actually pay attention to him. The biggest of smiles adorned his face when your eyes opened. “Your brother gave up, so daddy is planning on giving everything to you.”

“What?!” you gasped when Namjoon bit your nipple hard, jerking away from the other man’s grasp. Goosebumps raised on your arms from the stimulation – but as the information of your family sank in, your heart raced faster.

“Well, I assisted him to give up on life with a bullet to the head and convinced your father with a punch on the nose, but now everything is lawfully yours, and so lawfully mine too” he added with a proud tilt in his voice. Taking everything from your family was all he had wanted for many, many years; taking revenge on you was on a close second place, and killing your father would’ve been the cherry on top – however, that would only make you a more insufferable bitch than you were already.

Getting rid of your useless brother, though, was favorable for them and a way to get on your good side.

Your response was to throw your head back, groaning as Namjoon rutted his growing bulge roughly against your now leaking core. Having your legs spread and perched on the man’s hips made your folds part and expose your clit to the harsh friction of his sweats whenever he moved, and to the air when he withdrew. His wet tongue ran up your chest to your throat once more and nibbled his way to the tender spot under your ear to abuse the flesh there. You squealed high-pitched, chills running all over your body and ending up on your pussy. Pants filled the room and Seokjin was completely forgotten, as Namjoon increased the speed of his shallow thrusts and grinded hard to make you whimper; which the older man didn’t like.

Taking hold of your hair from the roots, he pulled back and turned you to face him.

“I did this for you, bitch, can you show a little gratitude?” he grunted through clenched teeth. You just looked at him through heavy lidded eyes, conscious of what he was saying but deciding to disregard him and his alleged altruism in favor of focusing in Namjoon taking his cock out and rubbing its head on your folds. Once again, Seokjin was left out of the bubble of intimacy Namjoon and you had inadvertently built.

How could you keep disregarding him as if he was a mere dirty rag? Hadn’t you learned to respect him in the slightest in all that time?

Seokjin wasn’t as dumb as everybody thought – he realized instantly what were the emotions that invaded him in that moment. Anger – and envy and jealousy. His masochistic side had taken over his whole self and made him want the very same woman que hated the most. What was it with needing to posses the one person you despised and who despised you back? He would never know and he didn’t want to. All he knew was that it was impossible to keep denying how his carnal desires had evolved into something more.

“I’m talking to you!” he yelled before taking your arm and yanking you with such force that you fell from Namjoon’s arms straight to the floor at Seokjin’s feet. Then, he took you by the hair, pulling you up to land on the bed, tightening more and more his grip on your scalp. Bewildered by the sudden violence, you could only look at him and notice his very read face and how the vein in his neck was about to explode. “Look at me when I talk to you, you stupid useless whore!”

“Seokjin, fuck! Calm the fuck down, man!” Even Namjoon was taken aback by the vicious reaction and didn’t know what to do. His brother had a really bad temper, yes, but since when he let himself go so wildly around you?

“All I have done since you came and you keep being a fucking bitch to me like you had always been, shit!” Seokjin kept yelling on your face until Namjoon pulled him away. Your scalp burned like never before.

You couldn’t discern what was really happening: they tussled, yelled at each other things you couldn’t understand and Namjoon even grabbed his brother by the collar of his shirt menacingly. And then a blow, and another, and another, and another, and blood. Soon enough, the cockfight grabbed the attention of the men that guarded the room and a sea of thugs dressed in black barged into the room to put the brothers apart.

And you?

You feigned fear and walked backwards, away from the fight, until you reached the door. And then you ran.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Memes from Reddit 5/14/2023-5/19/2023

“I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to hunt school children.” “They’re all lying bitches.” “Did the wolf come with his own dressing gown or was it provided?” “I wanna wolf, it's a me-sized dog. If only they were less murder-y.” “What did you feed those baby birds to have them evolve to this?” “Thats not mildly infuriating, that’s fucking nasty.” “There is no scenario where this is acceptable behavior for an adult human person.” “I’m going to go vomit now.” “Why would you throw your career away like that?” “You’re hurting my penis.” “Make it viral.” “Just because you got a fancy job don’t mean you can stomp on others.” “It’s already hit the news cycle.” “With all due disrespect, fuck your former coworker.” “What other laws do you want to break?” “I regret things that did harm to others.” “It may seem odd, but there was always a positive motivation in what I did. I was just sadly a mess.” “People who have given me tittie twisters have seen my darkest, least flattering side.” “What do you think of fan art?” “Do you play golf? Want to have a round at my club with me and the boys?” “My body is fuckin falling apart.” “What's the worst pain you've ever felt?” “Was there a specific moment in your life when you first thought to yourself that ’you made it?’ “ “It was mostly the PCP that made me react that way, but, man, that was a special time.” “What’s the most weight of drugs you’ve put up your ass to bring into another country?” “I never put drugs up my ass, I just put weed into condoms and swallowed them before traveling, then shit them out and smoked it.” “Schrödinger’s Karen. I know there’s someone to dislike here, but without more information I’ve got no one to side with.” “Some people just need to get their face punched in one time in their lives.” “Why are corporations buying homes when they aren't making babies?” “The whole system needs to go down and be rebuilt.” “People thinking that any lesbian less femme than Princess Peach might as well be a straight man, what else is new.” “This is creepy as hell, good lord.” “I’m not really seeing the symbolism there?” “If you have a problem with your life choices being published, maybe you shouldn't have made those choices?” “So many questions. None of which I really want the answers to.” “You have experience with turn of the century drag queen honeypots?” “What a terrible day to have eyes.” “Believe nothing you hear, and only half that you see” “Can’t decide if these are the nerdiest badasses I’ve ever seen, or the most badass nerds I’ve ever seen.” "I work with the goddamn customers!" “It’s not acceptable. But it’s also not illegal.” “I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to steal.” "Is that my wife in this photo?" “So much fucking around, so little finding out.”

[1nm2]

@chaoticjoke

He used to get interviewed on Youtube when he was fuzzy in 360p:

So I run off this thing, and I grab the pipe – I couldn’t make the jump anyways – and just swing. I land on the scaffolding! And when I get to the bottom, I just tumble—every single stair. And when I get to the bottom, I fall, like, faceplant, on the ground. And BOOM! The wind gets knocked out of me. But I still have to fight the crime, right, so I get up, and look at the girl and like, “Hooooo – Stoppppp!” And the guy starts running, like – nothing happened to the girl so that was good, and I just puked.

Knealy does Spotify podcasts now, and he has his own Youtube channel. He’s been here a long time, lonnnnng – since there’s always crime in Gotham. Batman can’t be everywhere, and none of the anonymous guys who’d started showing up in superhero outfits couple of months after him were betting on it. There’s always fights breaking out on the streets. There’s sometimes random tragedies, like the sophomore girl Katie Walker who he’d found dead, bleeding from the neck after hearing gunshots randomly pop right around the corner he was at. No arrests yet, but where was Batman? At the scene? Retroactively?

This here’s a movement so misunderstood. None of his guys, Redpool, Ice Phoenix, El Pájaro de Fuego, Grab Girl, had anything to do with folks running around dressed as bats. He doesn’t have anything to say to them. He only had four rules: you agree that you wear a bulletproof vest when you patrol, don’t carry illegal weapons, don’t do anything against state and federal laws, and you’re over 18 years old. That’s it.   

Knealy’s veins are adrenaline-flushed. His chin’s dampened with sweat, pressed against him by a black burglar’s mask tucked snugly beneath the outer armour piece hugging his skull and a good portion of his head sans the nose, mouth and eyeholes. Pitch black licks his periphery – apart from the Joker through those holes, he can’t see shit. Being more popular, getting more famous, being on random snippets of Gotham News got you more attention than wanted. But this is exactly the kind of violence that needed to be stopped, isn’t it?

‘   Hey -- you don’t want to use that gun. I mean, just look at all of the years of human lives that have been wasted behind bars for doing drugs and beating up their girlfriends when we pay CEOs of tobacco, alcohol, and pharmaceutical companies massive bonuses each year. Compare the amounts of deaths and suffering these people cause to the people selling crack on the streets, and the outcomes they receive. Arms companies, politicians sending our children off to die in pointless wars that they make money from, to the blue-collar guys who were used as drug mules and persecuted as traffickers. That make sense to you, guy? You…-- you have a name?  ‘

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Happy Worldbuilding Wednesday!

How did the world of your story came into existence (how did it shape itself into what it is today)? Is there any myth/rumour/or lore surrounding it?

For those that write contemporary fiction (but can be answered by anyone!) What your main cast’s relationship with the law (do they abide by it, are they troublemakers, do they actively seek to go against it, etc…)?

I think I’ll just answer the second question this time around… my story is set in north London, and there’s a lot to talk about that in terms of history and stories/rumours surrounding that haha

Now, my characters when it comes to the law… well, they’re rebels by nature lol. Steph’s Crew is a story that follows a friend group full of energetic misfit troublemaker teens during their last year of high school (not counting Elise, she’s kind of the odd one out. Not really a rebel by nature. But she’s friends with the rest of them, so she always gets roped in somehow).

(More below)

They are still quite young in the grand scheme of things, so it’s not like they break laws left and right or anything. But they are completely ok with doing things that lots of other kids their age probably wouldn’t do… especially when your living with your parents still, and they can easily catch you and punish you if you misbehave lol.

Things like underage drinking, smoking and doing illegal drugs are kind of normalised behaviour within the group.

I think the biggest troublemaker in the crew is either Stephanie or Bret (which is crazy since I pair him up with Elise, the least rebellious one lol. Opposites attract, I suppose). Steph literally comes up with a plan to get herself suspended from school on purpose… ‘cause she’s insane like that. And Bret… just gets suspended. He doesn’t need to plan for it, he just gets in tribe at school purely by being himself.

Dylan and especially Alice kind of sit in the middle. They are rebels at heart, and they feel like it’s necessary sometimes to just not think about rules and let loose, but they also don’t completely lack common sense. They think things through. Alice is always super cautious about what her parents might think if she gets in serious trouble in school, or anywhere else (it’s good to know that at least ONE of them is thinking about that lol). The thing about Alice though is that she is very easily swayed by the group. Not the best when it comes to peer pressure… she’ll often finds herself doing stuff she doesn’t fully want to do, just because the others are, and she doesn’t want to be left out. That’s the main difference between her and Dylan - when Dylan follows the group, it’s his choice. He doesn’t feel pressured into things, he chose to do it because he wants to (not because he feels as though he has to). And he’ll actually stand up for what he believes if he disagrees with the group.

I think that’s where I’ll leave it for now. Thanks for the question! And happy Worldbuilding Wednesday.

[lastoneout]

I was already well aware of this years ago but nothing drove me further into the "decriminalize drugs" corner harder than being denied narcotic sleep medication by psychatrist because apparently ambien is worse for me than not sleeping, and I had tried, and I quote, "everything she could possibly prescribe me" and thus she couldn't help me and I should see a sleep specialist/focus on therapy, and on top of that THEN having my primary refuse to refer me to a sleep specialist despite the fact that again, I was sleeping less than 4-5 hours a night and having debilitating nightmares when I did manage to sleep, because "you don't have sleep apnea so they can't help you" and "you should just focus on overcoming your trauma in therapy and learning mindfulness to fix your sleep" (never mind that I had a note from my therapist stating that I would not be able to make progress with my trauma until I was getting enough sleep, whatever!) and thus coming to the conclusion that the only way I would be able to exist without my health suffering to the point that I was always exhausted and wanted to die was to rely on marijuana.

Thankfully weed is legal where I live, both medical and recreational, and I have the means to purchase it, but if I lived somewhere else...I don't know what I would have done. Or, I do. And it would have been dangerous, but god I cannot stress enough that this would have been a choice between breaking the law and slowly dying. All because "narcotics are bad for me" and two doctors refusing to help no matter how much proof I had that I needed it or how desperately I was willing to beg to get my life back. (I also now cannot move to a place where weed is illegal. Which is fun.)

Also the only time my mom tried fentanyl was because her doctors refused to prescribe enough pain killers for her to live without being in agony. She didn't want to do it, but being in constant pain without help will destroy your ability to give a shit about anything but getting relief.

It's not the only way people become addicted, and ones who do through medication deserve help, but it is very clear the overwhelming amount of people who turn to illegal drugs are doing so as a last ditch effort to make their lives bearable. Almost everyone I know who has struggled with addiction ended up there because they were trying to cope with unbearable circumstances outside of their control. For many of them it IS a choice between breaking the law and death. Maybe a slow death, due to symptoms they cannot control(did you know people with un or under medicated ADHD are at a ridiculously high risk of accidental death? stimulant medication is literally life-saving medical care) or from the crushing reality of living in immense pain because I assure you, constant suffering CAN kill you or make you want to die. My fiancé had to deal with pain from an injured muscle for a week without real pain killers and by the end of it he legit was asking me how I could possibly live in so much pain all the time because he could barely think.

I didn't have an answer, but pain will destroy even the strongest person, and for a lot of people, the only way to live is with illegal drugs. And that should NEVER fucking happen.

I'd rather a 1000 addicts get their fix than one person have to go through the kind of pain and suffering I and the people in my life have been through without help.

It is actually way better for 100 addicts to get their fix on pain pills than a single person in pain go without. I call this the "Torture is bad" principle. You should be able to get the good stuff forever after a single doctor's visit. If you're worried about addicts fund rehab centers and needle exchanges instead of torturing people.

[wickedlybadass]

I think Trump would’ve won in 2020 if there wasn’t a pandemic. America clearly thinks they can’t live without him. Oh, dear! What are they gonna do in 2028?!

Well, there’s only one thing that’s good. Once this term is over, Trump can’t run again so might as well get the next 4 years over with.

So Trump won. That means money talks, racism wins, sexism wins, nepotism wins, women don’t get to choose what they do with their bodies, hatred wins, trans are “fags,” you don’t get to come to the country unless you’re white and from a country who allied with America, any dangerous convicted criminals can become president and get away from being sentenced, bullying wins, intimidation wins, violence wins and misinformation that puts people in danger wins.

We need a leader. How was millions of people in America dying from a deadly virus leadership?

I get people were unhappy especially with the economy. If economy was so significant, then why didn’t he win in 2020? If you say because the election was rigged, that was a waste of time because I’ll just block your fucking ass so don’t bother. I’m sure part of the reason why the economy sucked is because people were lazy to get jobs, because they got fired and decided to blame Biden just like they blamed him for everything and because people spent too money on crap instead of learning to budget their money and spending it on bills and other things worthy.

People were unhappy about “Illegals” coming in. Funny how that was a top priority and not healthcare or housing. I guess people would rather be homeless and dying than let someone with a plastic knife cross the border just because they’re not white or because they’re poor and from a country that caused 9/11 even though they were never even a part of it. It might be a shock to a lot of people but we do already have a lot of violent criminals who are originally from America. Pretty astonishing, isn’t it? People who want immigrants out are clearly hiding their racism and nepotism because they’re narrow minded bigots. I bet Trump is going to close the border to all immigrants, even law-abiding ones who would’ve been considered legal. Remember when he banned Muslims in 2016? Yea, it was temporary but some people can see through his “intentions.” He just made the ban temporary just to make it look like he’s not a nepotistic person but we saw who he really was. He had a lot of “interesting” things to say about un-American people, calling foreigners animals, Mexicans “rapists and drug smugglers,” claimed everyone from Haiti had AIDS and he wanted to ban everyone from Syria because he “didn’t want to take a chance.” Oh, please, give me a break!

People have ignored the foundation of America that our Founding Fathers created America based on. That’s based on love, compassion, integrity, freedom integrity and dignity. Trump is none of those. Instead, because of Trump’s powerful influence, people want to fight dirty and put others in danger. Now we had January 6th, millions of deaths from Covid and a dangerous man running this country because money talks and because hatred just won. Trump have threatened America and people are okay with that as long as they get more money than they need because they can’t learn to budget (young people can’t even hand write!) and are greedy and they’d die on the streets sick and homeless in order to keep out the “fags,” “niggers,” “slopes” and whatever else you want to call them!

After reading what might have gone wrong, I admit that Harris didn’t have the best campaign and should have distanced herself from Biden instead of just continuing his politics so she would have her own plans because clearly, Biden’s approval rating was tanking. We had no choice but to choose between Trump and Harris (though you could’ve elected a Green Party or Libertarian). You just chose the worst of the two. Only thing that went wrong was Harris’ campaign. If she wants to run for president again, she needs to fire her campaign manager and get a whole new team.

Harris was going to help us get back to the foundation of this country: love, compassion, happiness, integrity, dignity and freedom but clearly America will forever change because Trump, a powerful and manipulative cult leader, convinced America that greed, hatred, corruption, control, violence and death were better ways to live in America.

if we’re going to live as happy, healthy and compassionate people, something needs to change back before Donald Trump came into the picture. For one thing, the MAGA movement needs to die down. I don’t care if we’re getting a republican president or if the House and Senate are being controlled by the MAGA. Democrats need to step up their fight to get America’s original foundations back, something our Founding Fathers intended for us. Why? Because before you know it, black and white Americans won’t be able to work together or get an education together or ride the same bus together. Gay people will be put in jail. Women who even steps into an abortion clinic will be put in prison, all the rich will be allowed to do what they want with their money, blowing money away on fancy clothes and property instead of donating them to starving children while middle class families have work harder to put food on the table, people coming in from Canada will be killed. All those will happen because of corruption, greed, fear and hatred. Get the message?

Democrats have a ton of work to do to get back on track before Donald Trump took control of America and created the MAGA movement!

[bonesmarky]

Why do people who want to legalise cannabis say it's not addictive when they themselves are addicted to it?

Only a small percentage of uses fit the criteria for addiction. Its addictive properties lie not in their ability to addict physically but the more pernicious mental addiction. As far as physical addiction is concerned, caffeine and nicotine are by far more addictive than cannabis.

It’s useful for police and others to keep the drug illegal because a small cannabis bust gives them the right to search and seize property and cash. Carry more than a few grams with you and they’re liable to take your car, your home, any cash you have in your bank account and other properties. This law has made police departments rich and they are flush with military hardware to break doors down in the middle of the night.

Addiction is big business in this country. Making addicts out of formerly normal people by the drug companies is common. Need a lot of cops to bust pot smokers. Then the judicial system steps in with lawyers, judges and other courthouse workers to be paid. The prison system exploits inmates whose low level “crime” is they smoked or sold a weed.

It’s not about saving peoples lives from a horrible life with marijuana. Most users are trying to escape physical or emotional pain or the weed helps them to sleep. We don’t mind if the most destructive drug in history— alcohol is sold again and again to repeat DUI offenders until they bring carnage and death to the highways. Check these guys out for some hash and cannabis https://helpmehigh.com/

[tuxebo]

I'm curious, why do you think 'illegals' as you said, should be removed from the united states? they're taking the jobs no one wants to do; the manual labor. As well as that, if people didn't emigrate from other places, the united states wouldn't be what it is today.

as well as that, don't you think those people deserve to have a place where they can live and thrive? they're people just like us who most came from bad situations. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it

They are illegals, they break into the country. Unless illegally entering a place is not a crime, they are illegals. They are raping, murdering, sex trafficking, child trafficking, human trafficking, human smuggling, drug trafficking, etc. They are bringing their gangs, and terrorizing our cities. They are robbing warehouses, they are not working, they do not speak english. They are draining our taxpayer dollars... how are they helping the economy? We are paying for their education, housing, healthcare. News flash, we can't afford that for ourselves!?

El Tren de Aragua, they are for sure doing the jobs no one wants to do. Kicking people out of their homes, shooting up Aurora, sex trafficking... tough work right there. Countries are emptying their prisons and dumping the criminals here, that's why their crime is so low, the criminals are here.

Where are you in America because they are being sent to poor black and hispanic neighborhoods, the projects, the bronx, etc. They aren't being sent to rich areas, that's for sure. They are stealing from citizens. Look at the states that take them, California and New York are a joke. Colorado is more dangerous than 3rd world countries and Ohio's animals are in danger!

What about the American people? Do we not deserve a place to live and thrive? Where our pets aren't being stolen and eaten? Where homelessness isn't taking over? Where we can get stable jobs? Why is unemployment so high in America, if they are only taking jobs no one wants to do? Why are Americans on the street while they are getting free housing and free money? Our veterans are out on the street, not receiving half the help these illegals are.

The truth is, the ones that aren't taking our jobs, they are not working at all. Or they're criminals. The government is paying them to be here, they were poor at home for a reason: they don't want to work, and that has not changed.

My mom is an immigrant, I believe in LEGAL immigration. We are a country of settlers, but immigration is very common today. Diversity is dangerous when done at mass, I can't go to public school here because it's all "No ingles." We use live subtitles to teach classes. If I want to meet other english speakers, they told me I have to join an after school club.

I feel like a foreigner in my own country. How is that fair for me? Why do they deserve better if they aren't even willing to do it legally? Look at Europe, taking muslims in at mass. Crime is at an all time high. Rape, murder, Shariah Law. Enough is enough. Send them home, put Americans first. This is America, not Russia, not China, not Mexico, not Venezuela. They are not better humans than us, they don't deserve anything special.

The they are stealing our jobs and not are working are not contradictory statements, by the way. America is big, it depends on where these illegals are sent and who they are. Some come just to bring their crimes here.

Look, I live in California. Everyone comes here. I've met Koreans, Chinese, Russians, Mexicans, Germans, Filipinos (woo,) Vietnamese, British, French, and more. We don't hate them, they are some very smart people. But they are here legally, how if it fair to them that it is easier for illegals? Crime-committers that they came here to get away from.

[argyrocratie]

“Jerry Martin died in Vancouver on Friday, a few days after he was hospitalized due to a suspected fentanyl overdose, according to his partner Krista Thomas. He was 51 years old.

Although Martin survived the overdose initially, he remained unresponsive in hospital and his family eventually decided to take him off life support. He previously told VICE News he had been addicted to cocaine and had been homeless for much of his youth.

“Jerry believed that people were self-medicating their trauma and so long as they were doing that, they needed a safe supply to do it,” Thomas said.

“He’s no more exempt than any other human being on this earth. He had his own trauma and unfortunately, he relapsed.”

She said it wasn’t clear if he intended to use fentanyl or not, but that he wasn’t a known opioid user.

In May, Martin opened The Drugs Store—the first brick-and-mortar shop in Canada and the U.S. openly selling drugs that had been tested to ensure they did not contain fentanyl of other harmful adulterants. He was arrested within 24 hours of opening the store in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, the epicenter of Canada’s overdose crisis.

“I am giving them addictive drugs but I’m giving them safer addictive drugs than you can get on the street, where they might be laced with fentanyl or some other drug,” Martin told VICE News during the opening.

“He wanted to save lives,” Thomas said Friday.

British Columbia is in the midst of a three-year pilot project decriminalizing small amounts of drugs, but selling remains illegal. The province also has safe supply projects where drug users are given pharmaceutical alternatives to street drugs, including prescription heroin. But harm reduction activists and addictions experts have told VICE News these programs are still not widely accessible.  

At the time of Martin’s arrest, Vancouver police said they supported harm reduction services but “drug trafficking will continue to be the subject of enforcement.”

Martin later told VICE News his drugs and mobile shop had been seized. He had struggled with funding and finding a space to open before eventually purchasing the mobile store.

Police also banned him from returning to the Downtown Eastside. But about a month after his arrest, he told VICE News he was still planning to re-open in a pop-up store model one day.

“He was definitely self-sacrificing,” Thomas said, adding that one of the things she’ll miss about Martin is his stubbornness and the fact that they were both “a little crazy.”

Getting to know Martin humbled her, she said, and she believes his compassion for marginalized people will leave a mark.

“It absolutely opened up my world to so many people that I may not have crossed paths with before, I may not have taken the time to understand. I think that that's one of the gifts he brings to the world.”

While he knew there was a huge risk to fulfilling his vision, “more than anything he felt like it was his thing to do and it was what he had left to do in the world.”

Thomas said Martin acknowledged that while he might be the one to “break the mold” with The Drugs Store, “someone else might come in behind him and have more structure, process, resources, and be able to complete the job.”

Martin had hoped to launch a constitutional challenge, arguing that the laws against giving people a safe supply of drugs is resulting in poisoning deaths in contravention of section 7 of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. That section argues that Canadians have “the right to life, liberty, and security of the person and the right not to be deprived thereof except in accordance with the principles of fundamental justice.”

“People are dying,” Martin previously told VICE News. “Especially now, they've allowed the entire province to do these drugs... But they’ve provided no clean, safe supply. They're getting it from the same supply that everybody's overdosing from.”

Martin was previously tied up in a court battle for years after launching a constitutional challenge about Canada’s cannabis laws, arguing that medical cannabis patients should be able to use dispensaries rather than the mail order system.

Thomas said there’s still a possibility of launching the constitutional challenge about safe supply after his death, but it would require backing from someone who could provide funding.

In February 2022, VICE News interviewed Martin’s stepbrother Gord Rennie as part of the documentary Beyond Fentanyl, which investigated the synthetic drugs wave of the overdose crisis.

Rennie, who used benzo dope—a combination of fentanyl and ultra potent benzodiazepines, died of an overdose before the documentary aired.

Martin said he felt inspired to open his store after Rennie overdosed. He said he regretted not allowing his stepbrother to stay with him when he got out of jail, just prior to Rennie’s death.

“My mom said I should invite him over and I didn’t and he died that day,” he said.

He had hoped his store would inspire similar shops around the country.

“The more of these out there, the safer it’s going to be for everybody,” he said.

Thomas said Martin had great intentions but may have been overwhelmed by the reality of what his vision entailed. And she wished he had had more support.

“When we see people out there like that, it would be great if we didn't just rally behind them in the comments and social media, but really reached out and connected with people and [said] ‘Here's what I can do to help.’ And then maybe we would achieve more things that so many everyday people want so badly to be able to do and just maybe don't have the means to do.”

-https://www.vice.com/en/article/m7b7p3/jerry-martin-man-opened-cocaine-heroin-dead

Shout out to this guy (link)

[godlovesmemore]

a d d e r a l l & I got high driving again.

did not get pulled over by police. took more then last time but was more careful/safe — besides popping them while driving. was it cool? no but theres the rush when it feels illegal. i spaced them all out and thought about each one. the first one was genuinely because i was due for one and i forgot to take it before i started driving. that one was legal.

on the second one i knew it was more than necessary. i questioned my motives — is this my addiction talking ? its me and yes both are true. i also felt in my heart god said its ok to go ahead so i didn’t question the gut instinct. by this I mean it was a calling to do it and not a want of my own, my want comes after from curiosity, the pull where will this pill (direction) lead this time, good or bad? if i know its gods call i should take it, trust, break the law. if you’re not sure ask permission. be sure god says its ok, not yourself. then it’ll work out

By the time i took the 3x i was lost at some deadend — and thought wouldn’t this be a perfect place to pop a final one — my gut reaction (addiction) says take another — I wonder is it ok god? whatever the fuck you wanna do; god says — he’ll get high too. Update hours later. its 10pm and i just took another even though god said no. free will? actually it’s the opposite = addiction

edit

i just got home from seeing family, took a 2 hour long car ride in the country. trying to find god, reasons to live. reconnect by drowning out my feelings with bass music. i needed to decompress, so did some recreational drugs, slightly testing to see the effects going over the prescribed dose. its difficult to tell how it affects you unless your actually doing something (driving) so 3x in one hour and id say im feeling like i took a small dose of xanax — adhd meds really do calm me but its the mania = my addiction. if you’ve never done manic before you’ll just never know the high. i couldn’t sleep the past 2 days now and i haven’t eaten but i hope i can get real sleep tonight. new rule never exceed 6 pills in a day and try to stay below 4 — im only ordered 2x a day

5x today total i need to order more pills tomorrow

—feeling a come down from the last tab at 10 pm. this mania is truly tired out i hope she’ll still be with me tomorrow. mania must have just started today, honestly right when driving home. i guess something about leaving my familys house triggered it. id been feeling mad depressed lately. last night i felt so worthless deep down in my core. it was right there like i could hold onto it. yet ive managed to have my pills under control pretty much since being pulled over. yea nobody wants me manic—but its the only time i ever want to be alive. if you cant love me manic you dont get to know about my medication usage either. remember next time always hide mania from everybody — never trust anyone close to you but god

Im in bed right now, almost 1 a m — with bipolar i fear feeling better (moments like these) ill fear this moment because feeling better is probably gone tomorrow. so we stay awake, dont eat or sleep because maybe ill get another day with myself — the best part of me — a lovable me. i will remain sober from drugs. jesus help me i cannot go on with this life soberminded.

medicine is safe — its clean, im prescribed it. so what if i found the magic pill to become manic when it suits me: life fucking hacked.

[000life-is-meaningless000]

The darkness of being homeless, you're all alone in the world against you everyone hates you other homeless people are after you cops love to be predatory as fuck upon you when you're homeless there's nowhere to go with the shelters are all full you're stuck outside the shelters and you can just you have to find some place

To live for the night and all you have is straights and the buildings which everywhere you caught a rest is illegal you're constantly trespassing when you're homeless it's impossible not to constantly trespass it's impossible not to constantly be a vagrant and trespass when you're homeless so literally it's illegal to be homeless in America it's either that or you can go with the animals or cryptids and the very nasty paranormal beings also demons are which is a forest and camping in a fourth is the legal so literally anyway in every way possible being homeless is illegal

He wondered why somebody homeless people end up in the jails most people now in jails aren't even really criminals they're not real criminals they're Petty criminals they're extremely Petty criminals they're non-violent non-threatening people they're like clutter they just clog up the jails all these the jail systems like a big ass vacuum that just sucks up a whole bunch of people who are not really causing a problem it's Society and when you have a whole bunch of people in the jail system who are not really criminals they're not murderers and thieves they're not they're not doing drugs they're just homeless they're just poor people who can't get a house and Society doesn't have a place to put them so they end up in the jail system in a constantly recycle of jail system while murderers these lotus rapist and a whole slew of other people who are extremely dangerous for society walk free in America because the jails are all clogged up and homeless people

Just thought, I'd let you fucking know that.

. . .

It sucks being homeless it's fucking miserable he has nowhere to go you don't know where you can get your next meal you have no idea what to happen next you need money to get stuff from the stores and begging is legal as well but what else you going to do you're going to your basic if you become a homeless person you basically have to forget about the law you basically have to break all the walls and existence because there's no way to not break the wall and be homeless everything you do to survive the homeless person is going to be breaking the law leaving on living on other people's property is trespassing you're breaking the law living near a store breaking the law living behind the store breaking the Law

Begging for money, breaking the law

Being a public nuisance breaking the law being indecent Society like being smelly and filthy and not taking a shower breaking the law

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE A LEGAL HOMELESS PERSON

And you wonder why there's so many homeless people who are literally clogging out the court system also cuz you have a whole bunch of people who are completely and absolutely just jobless homeless and nobody wants to hire them running amok running about in society because America is not built for accidents America just never has a plan B for anything it's so fucking shortsighted so fucking narrow sighted it's so fucking stupid

Now you got a bunch of homeless people who are literally destroying the system of America they're breaking everything down and with more and more people because people becoming homeless and more and more migrants not getting place to go you got more and more Society

Being, literally fucking destroyed !

. . .

I'm just trying to let you know that being homeless isn't just destroying our law enforcement system being homeless isn't just actually making the economy worse in some ways but there's a lot of people who are homeless are the ones who turn the thieves now they're not all that way there are a lot of good homeless people there's also a lot of very desperate homeless people who are just say fuck it they scare their death and they probably had to steal like they were probably they probably had no other choice but to turn to that and a lot of the theft probably turned into human being desperate for ways to survive in a law dominating Society that's the only way to Define it, or a lawful evil Society that's unforgiving to Thay who cannot.

So what you have is a deteriorating rotting away American civilization that literally is coming to the point of death it's coming to America is really coming to its end

. . .

It's extremely bad economy leads to people not being able to afford their health they lose their house they lose their job they lose their job they're on the street

They're on the street they have no way to get off the street because once you're on the street it's extremely extremely difficult to get a job and even if you have someone who's mostly give you a job you're not going to be the person in front of the store you're going to be the person way far in the back or someplace and nobody can see you because it's very difficult to take a shower once you no longer able, to get the easy convenience for society to take care of your needs societies becomes your worst fucking enemy Society treat you like shit people treat you like shit police go out to you more teenagers like the bum bash it's horrible it's fucking horrible when you become a homeless person you really become the enemy of America

And you wonder why a lot of homeless people do what they can to hide because everyone's out to get them everyone is truly out to get them even other homeless people

So what you do is you end up turning the country America into like a homeless arena to where it's every man for himself when you put up human being in that level of crisis that level of fear that level of danger of course they're going to turn to extreme violence and survive of course they're going to turn to violence cuz they know that mercy and kind will and being Cooperative is Suicide

[cabiba]

JAMES RUSSELL

Here are the differences:

First, get the basics right. These fall under the category of don't do anything stupid: Don’t have a child before you finish school and get married. Finish school (high school and/or college). Don’t get addicted to drugs or alcohol. Better yet, abstain from both. Don’t break the law, especially illegal drug use. Don’t hang around with losers. Don’t date one. Never marry one. Second, position yourself to make money. Money is not going to come and find you. You have to go find it. :

Second, position yourself to make money. Money is not going to come and find you. You have to go find it. :

Be ambitious. Don’t settle for a life of low pay and low prestige. Don’t hang around with others who are not ambitious. Never marry one.

Learn which careers and jobs make the most money. (This is really basic. Don’t screw this up.)

Pick something that is hard to do. If it is easy or fun, everyone wants to do it and it won’t pay much money. If it is hard, it will pay lots of money.

Strongly consider a STEM degree (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math.) There are shortages and starting salaries are high.

Consider being an entrepreneur and running your own business. Research this carefully as it is very risky.

Marry someone who is just as ambitious and as capable of making money as you. Don’t settle for anything less.

Be willing to work very hard. Work harder than anyone else.

Third, learn how to hang onto your money and not lose it or waste it:

Don’t borrow money for college. Find a way to work your way through. Go to junior college first as it is much cheaper. Consider the Army Reserves or National Guard as they offer GI Bill that will pay most of your costs.

Don’t borrow money for cars. If you buy good used cars, you can pay cash. Wait until you are older and wealthier to buy new cars.

When you do buy cars and if you do borrow, research the best way to buy and finance. It makes a huge difference long term if you are really savvy about this. Car sales and financing is a racket and they will rob you blind unless you know how to avoid it.

Learn to live frugally. There is a lot of info on how to do this on the internet. Learn to live below your means. (Recommend Dave Ramsey info and methods). Make living cheaply your hobby.

Learn to cook and plan meals and eat healthy. It’s a lot cheaper than eating out and it is the only way to avoid being fat. Try to eat out only one meal per week.

Be disciplined. Defer gratification. It’s part of the grit and determination thing. Be an adult.

Fourth, learn how to grow your wealth.

Learn how to invest money in stocks and bonds. Learn the miracle of compound interest. You absolutely need to learn this. Buy one of the investing for dummies books or something similar. Go to Investopedia, or the Fidelity or Vanguard websites and read and study. It’s not that hard once you get past the mystery of it all.

Always maximize your 401K or IRA withholding. These are the best deal you will ever get because they allow you not to pay income tax on everything you withhold. Some employers offer a match. A match is free money. Always take the free money.Save as much money as you can. Everyone should save a minimum of 10% of earnings. People who grow wealth faster do much more.

These are the differences between people who start out with nothing and become either rich or stay poor.

Granted, some people are born with low IQs, physical disabilities, or have bad parents. Some are never taught any of these principles. Some are taught that it’s somebody else’s responsibility to take care of them. It can be argued that these are poor due to bad luck.

[pouryourselfacupoffuckrightoff]

These are fights we are currently in, not something to celebrate having achieved already. You won’t attract workers to your side by claiming you’ve achieved things you haven’t, or haven’t gotten for huge swaths of the working class. I am deeply pro-union, and these memes make me want to tear my hair out.

1. I have worked weekends my whole career. Two days off in a row is something I have had to negotiate for, it has never been standard.

2. I have taken a single paid vacation of one week, also something I had to individually negotiate for and I was retaliated against for taking it when I returned.

3. and 4. I’ve never had paid sick leave. Usually a doctors note has been required to miss a single shift.

5. I’ve seen undocumented kids who were obviously 15 or 16 lie about their age to work. Preventing those kids from working wasn’t going to help them, and I could not take them in myself.

6. I have my doubts that social security will still exist in 25 years when I qualify. I also have some doubts I’ll live that long, so this hasn’t been a great help so far. Fingers crossed in this one. I like social security as a concept.

7. Minimum wage has not changed where I am since I began working. This does not feel like it is offering much protection at the moment.

8. I’ve never had an eight hour day standard (12 to 16 on salary, 4-6 hourly generally)

9. Overtime is a joke. You get scheduled for 39 hours tops or you are salary or you don’t have a job.

10. OSHA is great. They just don’t tend to instigate independent restaurants unless they kill someone, and not even then usually.

11. Over 20 years working full time in America and I have had access employer provided healthcare for 2.5 of them, and it took 1/3 of my monthly check.

12. & 13. I’ve never had vision or dental offered to me.

14. I would love to help restaurant workers access unions outside of chain store environments. This is a hard type of work environment to organize but I think the winds of change are blowing.

15. Breaks aren’t really a thing in the kitchen. You duck out for a smoke or a shit when you have your station set. A good place to work might have a break for family meal but it’s not standard.

16. If my employer is not really stupid, they can fire me for no reason at all, and I have no recourse under wrongful termination laws unless I can prove why they fired me. At-will employment means wrongful termination laws toothless in most cases.

17. Age discrimation laws protect old people but fail to protect the rest of us. It should be illegal to discriminate based on age, full stop, not just because of advanced age.

18. Raises. How exactly have unions helped with raises? The concept of a union might scare employers into paying more? This feels like collective bargaining covers this. Everybody likes a raise!

19. Sexual Harassment Laws. These are good to have. We need to have stronger protections and real consequences, and a way to make it less onerous for victims to pursue justice.

20. ADA is amazing. All credit to the disabled rights activists who crawled up the steps of the Capitol and shamed Congress into acting. This is one of the best things the US has ever done politically.

21. Holiday pay. I have been paid on holidays, so I suppose that counts? Lots of christmases and new years and thanksgivings working. Some bosses were cool and did time and half, some didn’t. It isn’t a right that’s been secured. It’s still something you have to fight for.

22. I don’t want anything to do with this one. Hasn’t touched on my life.

23. Equal Pay Act. I like this law. Good in theory. Difficult to enforce. Legislating pay transparency for everyone will help this become more of a reality. Because I have personally been paid less than my male counterparts more than once. It’s sucks to find out every time.

24. Civil Rights Laws. These are great, let’s enforce them better and strengthen the protections they give.

25. Workers Comp. Until they change drug laws and the health care system in this country, this will always be a joke. If you are injured on the job, the first thing they do at the hospital is drug test you. Pop positive and there goes your healthcare under worker’s comp. A friend spent years suing her former employer’s insurance company who denied her worker’s comp claim because of a positive drug test for prescribed medication.

This fight is not won. None of these bullet points are a victory lap. This is just my personal experience, but I know I’m not alone here.

[eduminatti]

What are the negative effects of education on society?

I'm sure you all have had some form of education. Maybe you've gone to college, maybe you just had some high school courses, or maybe you are a self-teacher. But what about the flip side? What about the negative effects of education on society? 

As per research conducted by schools in Bangalore I'm sure there has to be more than just our high school teacher trying to take jobs away from us. Do we really need all these textbooks and articles? Is it really a good thing that colleges have inflated their costs over time? 

Why does the government feel so strongly about funding education at all levels? How does education affect society in general? These are questions that need asking.

We often hear education is the cure for all the world's ills. Is this really true? We often see that society can be outraged at big issues such as world poverty – yet educational systems are the cause of this problem. 

Another survey done by schools in Mumbai shows that education creates dependence and smothers creativity – breaking education down into 8 main aspects we can analyze it more easily.

Education has been promoted as a cure for social ills ever since the modern concept of schooling was conceived. 

It is still highly regarded as the key to individual success, culture, morality, and even economic prosperity: as one prominent economist famously proclaimed in the 1980s "human capital is now the most important form of capital".

It's a controversial topic but one that needs addressing time and time again. Before we jump into this post, it's important to know that the answer to this question is… yes! 

Just kidding! It's not wrong for someone to learn about mental health issues like depression or bipolar disorder because it helps them to understand themselves and others. But what if they mistake education as a replacement for self-discovery?

 I was well-schooled but my addiction still made me look ridiculous in university. Simply being educated isn't enough. One must be able to live their life consciously as well — to think critically, and shouldn't feel entitled simply because they have the ability to read.

Firstly, it is important to understand the benefits of education. The reason people educate themselves is that they want a better future. When students graduate from college, they will be able to get better jobs and will earn more money.

However, there are some negative effects that come along with that.

Firstly, in order for an individual to attend college, they must have the financial means to do so. This can lead to a high amount of student debt which can follow the individual for many years after graduation and can even prevent them from being able to purchase a house or car.

Secondly, people who have attended college are usually happier and healthier because they have learned how to take care of themselves and have good social skills.

Thirdly, education has positive effects on society as well such as lower crime rates and less poverty. 

This is because educated people tend to commit fewer crimes because they understand what is right and wrong, which leads them not to do anything illegal or dangerous like drug use etc.

 Because it could lead them into trouble with the law or their parents/family members finding out about it if caught doing something illegal (which could cause embarrassment).

It is very difficult to say that education is having negative effects on society. It is true that education can have some negative effects on society like when people are educated they become more aware of their rights and they always want to be independent and they do not want anyone to order them. These things in turn may cause problems in society.

But if we see it from another angle, it is not possible for a society to progress if its members are uneducated. Education makes people civilized and disciplined and thus helps them in living a good life. So, it will be unfair to say that education has negative effects on society.

The negative effect of education on society is that it makes people more intellectually confused and culturally debased.

The constant input of contradictory information and the fact that there are no agreed-upon standards of what is true or false impairs a person's ability to think critically and clearly.

The desire to conform with the dominant culture, which is usually a very low culture, leads people to adopt the lowest common denominator in cultural taste and intellectual pursuits. 

This results in popular culture being made up of the crudest music, lowest common denominator books, television shows, and movies because these things appeal to the vast majority of people who have been indoctrinated with the values of their society. 

The most "popular" people in society are often those who are morally bankrupt but have become well-known for some reason or other, such as musicians who sing about sex.

[oneoftheprettynerds]

Just My Type: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 2 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Darkside

Main Masterlist

A/N: This chapter is 2K words more than the last chapter and I’ve second guessed every single line in this one. This story is getting a lot of traction guys and I’m equal parts happy and scared. Thank you for the nice comments, they do encourage me. Also I’m just ranting feel free to skip this note haha. Your support in any form: like, comment or reblog is appreciated greatly. Also you can dm if you want to be friends, God knows I need those. Hopefully, this chap was worth the wait. Also, I made a poster for this on the main masterlist so check that out, it might be foreshadowing dome plot.

Warning: Eventual Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks later.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can't ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can't get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Chapter 2: Just My Type

It had almost been a week since the incident and you had barely gotten a wink of sleep. When you drove back to your house that night, Steve surprisingly didn’t argue as you had expected. After that friend of his whispered something in his ears, you only assumed he was needed elsewhere and you couldn’t be more thankful for that. They escorted you to your car and Steve thanked you with a strained smile, words genuine but eyes calculating. You didn’t even wonder what went inside his head. You were thankful for the peace and quiet of your own car, content to just get out of the area and into your humble abode.

After you put the already asleep Grace to bed, you couldn’t bring yourself to get out of her room. You just sat on the floor beside the bed, hand intertwined with hers as you rested your head beside her tummy on the mattress.

Your adrenaline wore off and your limbs ached as your thoughts finally settled into place, the gravity of the catastrophe a few hours prior hitting you. Tears made their way down your cheeks as you realized that you both could have very well died tonight.

One bullet could have sealed each of your lives and you were basically defenseless had Steve not saved you against the creeping assaulter. You couldn’t commend yourself for even defending yourself against one attacker, the guilt of killing someone harboring in your tired head. Your quiet whimpers eventually wore you out, while Grace’s shallow breaths lulled you to sleep.

You didn’t manage to sleep for long though, every time your eyes closed, horrific images flashed in your mind. A blood curdling scream here, heaps of dead bodies there, with distant exploding sounds all around. You could see men clad in black holding guns to Grace’s head and whensoever you woke up, you just wondered how much more creative your mind could get, making these visuals so realistic.

When 8 AM rolled in, you didn’t wake Grace up even though it was Monday and you had work. You got up, changed into a long tee after a shower and called your office and then her daycare. You knew you would have a hard time going back to your normal life, to become trusting enough to leave her alone.

Your assumption about yourself was right. You took almost the entire week off, which your boss generously allowed you to after hearing your traumatic experience, which soon made the city news headlines. All your colleagues checked on you, almost once in the five day break you took, and sweetly enough offered to bring you anything you needed.

It was kind of them, but none of them could bring you what your heart genuinely craved: peace and assurance that you and Grace would be safe.

Even though Saturdays were off, you did go to work to see what you missed and where to start on again. You went in because you knew that the random spurt of resolution you got in the bathroom to collect your life, wouldn’t last.

To ease back into your normal life, you gathered your guts, called a babysitter and left home. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave Grace at the daycare just yet. One of your good friends offered to come in to the office and help you, even on the weekend and you were quite grateful to him.

When you both decided to take lunch in the nearby dining place, you both got to talking, the conversation obviously originating from ‘How have you been?’ and ‘Is Grace okay?’. You reminisced about how you used a photobooth to hide, grotesquely and uncomfortably chuckling when you remembered Sarah calling you her mom and how her dad saved you all.

You deliberately left the part where you killed someone and Steve shot someone too. You hadn’t come to terms with it yet and you stiffly restricted your mind whenever it tried to go down that lane.

He sensed how the conversation was becoming tense and distressing for you and briskly redirected the topic.

“I hope the dad was hot though?” He wiggled his eyes creepily and you snorted at his vulgarity, light for the first time in days.

“He was easy on the eyes; I will admit that.” You played along, recalling your girlfriends and how you used to ogle people.

“Don’t be a homewrecker though, I don’t support cheating.” He said nonchalantly, checking his phone as a notification bell rang off.

“He’s a widower.”

His eyes snapped up and met yours as his head tilted in confusion. “That’s a strange fact to know about someone you met for a few minutes.”

Steve’s even stranger comment about his dead wife popped in your mind and before you could stop yourself, you blurted that out as well.

“He even said and I quote, ‘She deserved what she got.’” He put his phone down, weirdly amused.

“Ooh Creepy! Do you think he is one of those husbands who kill their wives and bury them in the backyard? The podcasts always say that the psychopaths are visually handsome and charming. And his statement was quite vague and spooky.” He continued munching, and you felt that now Aiden was really paying attention unlike before.

“Steve did have a gun while searching for Sarah, come to think of it.” You drank your tea and awaited his response. What you did not expect was his eyes to widen and worry to cloud his features.

“Um Widower Steve with a toddler Sarah? At the place where The Vices attacked?” He mumbled, grabbing his phone and doing God knows what on it. Your eyebrows furrowed and before you could ask him what was up with his antics, he resumed.

“This is a long shot but I really hope your Steve didn’t look like this.” He positioned the phone in your vision, and you could already tell it was Steve by the sapphire blue of his eyes piercing through the screen into your soul. The picture was a month or two old, his hair was much longer when you met him than in the photo.

“This is him.” Your eyes met Aiden’s and worry visibly took over his features as his forehead creased and jaw tense.

He looked around the restaurant, finding it empty in the afternoon. He leaned and whispered, “This Steve of yours is dangerous.”

You interrupted Aiden, even though you already knew Steve was, the sight of his armed men still fresh in your head, and inquired, “Why do you say so?”

“It’s just like the fictional stories we hear from our parents, except here, in this city of ours, every myth holds true. There are really powerful men, untouchable by law, who reign the city silently and live luxuriously. Every shady, under the table deal you’ve heard of, transpires. Illegal trades, fraud schemes and bounty hunters are not fictional, they exist here. These men kill whatever hinders them and trust me, you don’t want to be the deer caught in their Jaguar’s headlights.”

Ice froze in your veins again, resembling the fear you felt that night but now because of your deemed ‘savior’. You convinced yourself that you had not wronged him in any way, instead had saved his daughter’s life.

“Are you in contact with him? If you are, distance yourself cleverly, don't block him immediately.”

“No, we just parted ways near my car, he thanked me for Sarah and was called away. It’s almost been a week and he hasn’t reached out if that’s what you mean. We didn’t exchange contacts and I don’t think I even told him my full name.” You explained yourself as if you were on the witness stand in court, trying to convince yourself more than Aiden.

“Pray that he doesn’t remember you more than that, if at all. I’m being totally honest here in telling you this, I’m genuinely worried for you and Grace. You are smart but he is powerful. He has unimaginable resources and if you become more than a speck of dust on his windshield, you are screwed. There is no exaggeration here.” You took his words to your heart and swore to be careful, if not for yourself then for Grace.

The rest of the day went by and you found yourself dwelling on and worrying about Aiden’s words. At least he put it out there as it was. Heeding his advice, you did google Steve on your phone, finally finding him in the topmost news headline when you added ‘Buck’ in the search bar as well.

‘With 38 lawsuits pending against businessman Steve Rogers, the filers have lost all hope in prosecuting him. All cases are being drawn out for indefinite periods of time by the Chief Justice Bruce……’

Aiden was right.

Businessmen was code for illegal mob heads. Cases being stretched on meant he was, in fact, invincible, at least to the common man’s fists.

You flickered through several titles, each one more surprising than the last. He was believed to be involved in the carnival attack, alleged for three hit and run cases that he didn’t lose but the witnesses swore they saw him driving and was also rumored to have brought in quintals of drugs just last week, but the packets just evaporated into thin air and there was no proof of their existence in the first place even on incessant searching.

Every crime of his made you shudder and you mentally thanked Aiden for pulling you out of your oblivion. Your mind raced and heart palpated and you cursed yourself for being so drastically unaware even after living here for almost four years. Technically speaking, Steve and you were even, him saving your life and you saving his daughter’s. No logical reason came to your mind for him contacting you ever.

You wished as Aiden said and assured yourself that your paths would never cross again, Steve not having reached out in a week, so hopefully never again.

That thought went out the window when you reached home to find a box awaiting you. Hannah, the babysitter you had called, informed you it came around 5 in the evening and was exclusively to be opened by you today.

Your mind raced as you paid the babysitter, your hands sweaty as you tried not to think about the gift and its sender. There was an apparently clear answer to who mailed it but you refused to accept that, courtesy of Aiden.

The box was of the height of Grace, it was black with red hearts painted across it; some red roses also sparingly adorned it. You opened the lid and found tons of red tissues and a multi-flower bouquet adorned with mostly red roses and a few purple and pink flowers.

Because of your frequent gardening in your backyard, you knew all the flowers’ meanings. To sum it all up, red flowers, especially roses were used for courting someone. Pink meant admiration, purple for beauty and you knew the ‘violet’ flowers were for loyalty.

As your nerves increased tenfold, you willed yourself to get it over with and empty out the box first, ignoring the little card in your bouquet, saving the ‘best’ for last. You find a mini bouquet inside but unlike yours, it had chocolates of every kind. You did read its card and cringed when it was for Grace, bothered not by the deed but by the doer.    

Further inside were some animal plushies, face masks, perfumes, scented body lotions and shampoos. Your head hurt thinking about the ‘single mother care package’ delivered to you by someone you refused to acknowledge.

As Grace sat in her playpen occupied, you dared to pick your card and read its message, your heart beating unrealistically fast for someone who refused to accept the cruciality of her situation.

~

I can’t thank you enough in this lifetime for saving my little princess. The gift of your help is more than anything money could ever buy for me. Please accept this invitation of mine for dinner tomorrow night, 7PM at La Bonne Nuit, as a symbol of my sincere gratitude for everything you’ve done. I’ll gets the kids covered and pick you up, you just be ready and look as amazing you always do.                                                                                           Sincerely,                                                                      Steve Rogers

                                                                                            ~

You stilled as you read it over and over again.

An invitation, your ass. Even in writing his authority portrayed, there was no question and hope for you coming, he just stated that you’d come. Looking pretty as always? You just met him once, in the middle of a calamity, covered in dirt and blood.

All the red roses and gifts screamed his romantic interest but you illusioned yourself into thinking they meant gratitude. You wouldn’t be able to digest it all otherwise.

Knowing what you knew now about Steve, you understood there was no denying the dinner tomorrow. You had to get out of his clutches and distance yourself, but as Aiden had so rightfully said, cleverly.

That night you laid in bed mulling over your next course of actions. You had called the gift shop to return the unwarranted presents you received but they said it was non refundable and anonymous to trace. You bitterly snorted in their face, they put a card with Steve’s name on it for heaven’s sake!

You didn’t flinch even when you realized you never gave Steve your address, neither for mailing stuff nor for picking you up. There was no number given to call him and thank or to call him and deny. The bastard had planned it all out, and you felt like you were driving in a one way lane, going deeper into the tunnel. Somewhere among your all-relentless fretting, you managed to finally sleep.

 When the doorbell rang, your eyebrows furrowed. It was just 6 PM and you weren’t expecting anybody else except for Steve. You had already begun getting ready, having developed a habit of keeping an extra margin of time now having a toddler. You still had to assemble Grace’s essential backpack, fill it with her meds and bottles.

While still putting on your diamond earring, you made your way to the door, unlocking it to find a redhead grinning at you. Before you could interact with her, a small body clung to your legs and you looked down to find the azure eyed kid that put you in this mess, Sarah, smiling up at you.

“Mama! You look pwetty!” She looked up in awe and now aware that she didn’t have a mother, you were even more so coerced into accepting this title rather than telling the kid that 'you are semi orphaned'.

“I’m Wanda, Sarah’s nanny. Mr. Rogers told me to pick her friend, Grace, up for the night?” So, this was what Steve meant. Bringing Sarah was proof enough of her legitimacy, but behind her you saw ‘Buck’ salute you from the driver’s seat of the black car. One of these days, you needed to learn his real name.

You invited Wanda inside and Sarah ran to Grace immediately, grabbing and whining while asking Grace to give her some popcorn she was munching on, her fist generously full.

In your open plan kitchen, you grabbed two plastic bowls, filled them with each with the tub of popcorn that sat in the microwave and handed each toddler one, fortunately quietening Sarah. Sarah obeyed Grace, in first thanking you, their ‘mama’ and then following her to her open playpen.

You faced Wanda again who sat on a barstool and kept on beaming. If your annoyance at her amusement showed, she sure didn’t let it falter the smile.

“Mr. Rogers told me you’d worry about your daughter, but I assure you she’d be in more than capable hands.” All you could focus on was how self-reassured she was. “I’ve served him for almost two years, the last family I served, I was there for 8 years and before them, I was employed for 3. I know the general bedtime and snacks, all I need from you is information about her allergies.”

You nodded and told her about Grace, her meds and what all you packed. When you got to know that her family owned the daycare Grace went to, you were finally somewhat convinced. After seeing them off, it was about fifteen minutes later, that the devil disguised in Prada showed up at your door.

You grabbed your purse and your keys. Wiping your sweaty palms on your dress, you opened the door. Steve stood there, a smirk lodging on his handsome face. His blue, three-piece suit perfectly paired with his cerulean eyes was impressive to say the least.

He was dressed to kill, and it appeared as if you were his first victim.

As your eyes took him in from top to bottom, his did the same lazily, taking their time, resting at certain places for longer period than others.

“You look stunning.”

You knew you did. You wore one of your more expensive dresses when you found out La Bonne Nuit to be one of the few seven-star hotels in the country. In hindsight, if you’d have dressed worse, maybe he’d have left you alone.

“Thank you.”

“Shall we?” He offered you his hand and you obliged with your palm in his. Your other hand pulled the doorknob while you stepped out, all alarms already set-in place. He waited while you locked and put the keys in and when you were done, with a soft kiss along your knuckles, he pulled you along.

The act surprised you, your stomach turning and your gut wrenching and you wondered if you’d be able to process the food after all, with your upset digestive system.

Like a proper gentleman, he opened the door for you and when you settled, he took his position at the driver’s seat. The silence was painful for you, your overthinking finally filling ideas in your head that you avoided contemplating about all day, focusing on Grace.

He was relaxed though; his humming was proof enough.

Mid way through, your thoughts were rudely interrupted when a hand housed itself on your knee. You glanced to find Steve’s palm slightly rubbing your knee. If it was meant to be assuring, you certainly didn’t feel like it.

You frowned and looked up to Steve who still had the arrogant smirk on his face, eyes straight ahead on the road, giving no indication of his inappropriate touching.

You wanted to swat his hand away but a brainwave dashed through your head and a disturbing thought made you halt, that whether he carried guns to restaurants as well, since carnivals were no big deal.

You ignored his hand and continued looking outside, pretending to ignore it as well as he did. Your scowl was a huge giveaway though.

You didn’t know that, but when your eyes found their way out, his finally rested on your face, the smirk growing even more.

Thankfully, apart from the incongruous touching, the dinner went okay-ish. The food and wine were impeccable, perfect even, the restaurant on the hotel’s top floors was so picturesque. You tried to savor your one-time experience there, knowing you’d no way be able to come back there.

Well, you tried to relish as much as you could while your mind still sat there, wary of the human in front of you. If you’d ignore your journey here, Steve was nothing short of a true gentleman, often making you wonder if you had imagined his hand on you.

This ‘friendly’ date you were having was probably one of the best you have had, he had left no expenses. He appeared to be interested in your work, about your childhood and about Grace’s but you swiftly avoided his questions about her father. He was growing a tad bit too comfortable for your liking and you still refused to entertain the idea that this was a ‘date’ date.

When you were finally onto dessert, the last course of your meal, your table was shadowed by the broad frame of a brunette and his date. He clapped Steve’s shoulder and Steve rose to hug him, you awkwardly smiled.

“It’s been far too long since you’ve been here, Cap. Why don’t you and your gorgeous date stop by my penthouse for a bit? We could finally go over the papers you sent me, in person?” He winked, they discussed something more and then went away, his date bowing and trailing after him as well.

Steve claimed his seat again, and finally told you about the interrupter. “That was my good friend, Tony Stark, always in a hurry. I’ll introduce you to him when we meet him later.”

“I think I’ll be heading home; you need not worry about my introduction, I hardly think we’ll ever run into each other again.” His eyes narrowed and you clarified, “Me and Mr. Stark, I meant.”

That’s good, don’t associate yourself with more of his kind.

“He was so kind in inviting you though, it would be rude to refuse.”

“It’s already late, Steve. And I’ve never left Grace alone for a night yet. What if she’s antsy? What if she is bothered? What if she feels unsafe? She's only used to very few people, and after last week, I-” You had started the sentence hoping to use Grace as an excuse but every word of yours succeeded in making you more apprehensive.

The carnival night flashed in your mind, along with the nightmares and you started panicking even more. Your hands clammy, your dessert spoon fell in your lap as sought your phone in your purse, hoping to call Wanda for an update. You felt like a terrible mother, who left her child with a stranger, only a week after she suffered trauma, just to go on a date with a mobster.

Steve reached across the table and grabbed your fidgety hands and as you wriggled to get your hands free, he softly called your name. Voice stern but vocals gentle. Your blurry eyes snapped to meet his while he guided you to breathe deeply, in and out.

His firm hold convinced you to listen to him, you’d never free yourself of them otherwise.

When you had calmed a bit, he withdrew his hands and fetched his phone. Your thoughts slowed down, and you wondered if anyone here was judging you. Your little scene, mercifully, went unnoticed by the other affluent people dining here.

Steve handed you his phone where four colored frames rested, the screen showing you Grace and Sarah cuddled in a frilly, pink four poster where Wanda sat too, her lips moving.

The feed was live and the screen muted, both the toddlers’ eyes fluttering close slowly, on the bridge of sleep.

You handed the phone back to Steve and drank your water while he rubbed circles on the back of one of your hands. You never freaked out like you did right now, always collected and never giving into anxiety. What had happened to you?

Well, In your defense, you had never experienced a disaster either.

“The kids are safe; I’m never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”

Your mind did catch the plural in his statement but you promised yourself you would not let it get that far and continued drinking your water, emptying the entire glass.

“The HD image you just saw was by cameras Tony recently developed. His technology is amazing, I’ll take you to his lab sometime.” You appreciated his attempt to redirect the topic but you also focused on how tech-savvy his friends were as well.

You hummed and agreed, trying to be ambiguous with your answer.

When you finished your dessert, you hoped he’d forget about his ‘friend’ Tony but to no avail.

“His penthouse is two floors above. He owns this hotel as well in case you didn’t notice.” He led you to the elevator as you recalled the Starks Group logo you saw earlier sometime.

Some AI named Jarvis opened the elevator doors for you in the living room of Tony’s penthouse. It was even more magnificent than the restaurant earlier, the place illuminated by several hues of different colours. Steve chuckled and strung you along, introducing you to a ginger-head named Pepper, who was Tony’s date earlier and went to search for his acquaintance.

She offered you wine but you politely declined, opting for water instead. She brought your glass to you from the extravagant kitchen and you both sat on the barstool there instead of the living room. Too anxious to say the wrong thing, you stayed quiet until her voice filled the deafening silence.

“So, Steve almost never brings dates around. You two serious?” She questioned, leaning towards you, waiting for some gossip, no doubt.

“Oh no! We aren’t dating. He just invited me for a friendly dinner. We merely met the other week.” You deliberately left out the part where there was bombing by crime families and attack on the common man.

“Honey, in the mob life, you don’t just introduce random people to the fam.”

Oh, she wasn’t being shy about the whole mob ordeal. It seemed weird to hear it from her, since you and Steve hadn’t used the word yet. Maybe he figured you already knew considering the circumstances you met in or how famous he was.

“We really aren’t romantically involved. This dinner was just a gesture of gratitude if I’m being truthful.”

She chuckled, as if you were a kid making stories and quizzed, “Gratitude for what?”

You trapped yourself into that one. You didn’t know how to answer her and your brain downright blanked. Surprisingly,, Steve came to your rescue and two voices interposed your conversation.

Steve called your name and as you turned to the men, he continued, “She’s the one who saved Sarah the other night. You know the story, Wilson probably got it printed.”

“Impressive, really. Hey, I’m Tony and I see you’ve already met Pepper, my fiancée.” He shook your hand and kissed your knuckles, much like Steve did earlier in the day. You bowed, smiled and mumbled a ‘nice to meet you as well’. They escorted you to the elevator and Tony continued.

“Well, it’s not everyday Steve brings brave and extraordinarily attractive women around. Welcome to the family, sweetie. She’s a keeper, Cap.” He winked while saying the last sentence and before you could correct him, Steve ushered you inside the elevator, bro-hugging him. As the doors closed, Pepper winked at you from behind Tony and a shudder ran through you.

Okay you had to make it clear, get on the same page.

As the elevator music filled the silence, you started, “Steve, look we aren’t-”, “I served in the army, that’s why Tony calls me Cap, short for captain.” And crudely got interrupted.

“I never wanted to get into the army, I thought people were fools to sacrifice the one life they got. But I went to make my mother’s dream a reality, I really loved her, you know? Sarah is named after her, my mother.”

His voice broke at the end and as much as you wanted to redirect onto your former topic, you couldn’t. This amiability of yours would be the death of you.

“She died alone in her bed; I was dispatched too far away to even make it back for her funeral.” He mumbled but you heard him clear as a sunny day, and he leaned back onto the wall for support while you awkwardly rubbed his shoulder to return the support he provided earlier during your mental breakdown.

He closed his eyes and gathered himself, taking deep breaths. As the elevator dinged, his eyes opened and he gave you a strained smile.  

The car ride to his mansion was painfully silent, his mind too sidetracked to focus on harassing you again. With all that you went through today, you almost forgot about that.

His mansion was enormous, twenty guards stood outside and even more patrolled the lawn. He took you inside his house, the interior even more detailed and scenic than Tony’s temporary residence.

You just concentrated on swiftly getting Grace and Uber-ing back. As Steve showed you earlier, Grace and Sarah hugged and slept and it was a meticulous task to untangle their limbs without waking either of them up andnd get Grace with her back-pack. You thanked Wanda on the way out, hoping to avoid Steve but somehow he stood outside before you, leaning on his sleek black car. He opened the door for you before you could refuse the ride. You settled with Grace in the backseat itself, trying to be smart.

He just summoned one of his guards to drive and sat alongside you in the back. You didn’t let the annoyance at his clinginess show though. You just focused on Grace who drooled over your shoulder.

Hopefully, there won’t be any point of exposure to him ever again, your circles didn’t match, both social and professional. Your Venn diagrams didn’t overlap anywhere. This should be reason enough to avoid meeting ever again.

He didn’t try anything even this ride around. You doubted it was hardly because of the toddler or because of the driver. He did as he pleased, if he wanted to he could very well grope you. Luckily, he wasn't in the mood.

When you reached your dwelling, you stepped out hastily, thanking him in a whisper. You fumbled to get your keys out, but since everything you held slowed you down, he caught up with you without even trying.

He took and held Grace’s bag while you drew the keys out, Grace still on your hip. He handed you the bag back, “So this is it, I guess?”

“Yeah, tonight was a total delight. Thanks for the dinner and everything, really.” You put up your best façade, hoping to convince him.

“It was, thanks to you. The company matters the most.”

You awkwardly chuckled and you sensed him leaning in, his eyes flickering shut. Your eyes closed as you turned your head to avoid him, so that his lips would peck your cheek.

They never came.

Your eyes opened to find his and he chuckled, leaning in once again swiftly, catching you off guard this time. He didn’t meet your lips though, he kissed the corner of your mouth, lips overlapping for a fraction of skin.

“In due time, baby.” He stepped back and strolled to his car leisurely, content in his own world.

You opened your door and slammed it shut, the peck feeling wrong on so many levels. It felt more sensual than a lover’s kiss, leaving room for intimacy and longing.

Your thoughts ran a hundred kilometers an hour, the most absurd but nauseatingly true being, this was a date and it was not your last encounter.

Steve smirked outside in his car, the dinner an absolute success in his opinion. Tonight just made him feel that you both were more than compatible for each other. You needing him during your mental breakdown, him relaxing under your shy touch, Tony’s approval, not that important though, and your anxiety for Grace was the best part, because he, more often than he’d like to admit, fussed about Sarah the same way, agonizing and fretting her well being.

A text lit up his black screen and his grin widened even more if possible.

‘The Stark cameras are up and working, Sir.’