#if you want something different please hmu!!!

[vinodiriso]

starter for @irukasenseii!!

It rarely ever happened that the Nara matriarch slept in on a Sunday. Obviously, she could be sure her fawn wouldn't have opened his eyes until way later in the morning, so it wasn't motherly concern that kept her from getting some well-deserved rest. 

Whenever she would tell her husband where she was going to spend her morning, he would sigh and jokingly reprimand her for spending too much time with her dead loved ones instead of her living family. Yoshino would roll her eyes and swallow a chuckle, but somehow she wondered whether Shikaku was right: he wasn't home a lot, among his various duties as Jounin Commander and his active role as a ninja, so it was in her best interest to make the most of the time they had together with little Shikamaru. Nonetheless, she couldn't bring herself to skip a little walk through the tombstones of those who had marked her life with their passage, not even for her family's sake. So, with arms full of freshly-purchased white flowers to offer as gifts and the sun still tepid in the sky, Yoshino entered Konoha Cemetery to bring her regards to those who were no longer with her. Following the uphill cobblestone path, she spotted a lean, tall figure sporting a messy updo. Upon further investigation, she recognized Iruka's scarred face; she had seen plenty of him as he was growing up (Ikkaku and Kohari were her co-workers in the Konoha Headquarters during the Third Shinobi World War) and now she was going to see more of him in the coming school year, as he has been enrolled as a teacher at the Ninja Academy.

"Hello," Yoshino offered a kind smile as she approached the chuunin, "I wasn't expecting to see you here. I asked Shikaku to congratulate you for your promotion on my behalf, but since we bumped into each other: good job, Iruka-kun, you deserve it! How are you doing?"

[thearcherbrothersx]

Closed starter for @nosaintz / Muse: Declan Archer (AU) / Plot: It’s the 16/1700s, Declan is king and looking for someone willing and eager to serve as an outlet for his more… unusual needs. He’s hoping your muse might be it.

“My wants are unconventional.” Declan told the woman who'd been brought to his chambers; one of the queen’s ladies. “The queen is uncomfortable with the concept, but…” he paused, his eyes trailing over her. “I do not believe you have that problem.” He stepped closer, his fingers reaching out to tentatively trail down the gentle curve of her jawline. “Do you?” As king, he could simply command her to submit. He could command that she remove her clothes and surrender her body to his desires, but he didn’t want that. Not this evening. No, he wished to take her, secure in the knowledge that she craved the touch he could grant her. He knew rumours of his preferences were fluctuating the castle, as well as most of the kingdom no doubt, and he suspected it was part of what had drawn this little flower to him, her eyes wilfully and repeatedly seeking his from across various rooms for the past few weeks.

[vexwerewolf]

How would you add depth and complexity to the culture of the Purview?

Right now, the KTB gets way more attention both because of the two supplements dedicated to it and because the competing noble houses each with its different gimmick and political alignment make it so easy to come up with drama and intrigue.

Meanwhile the Purview seems, both in and out of fiction, flat and uniform. I'm sure its leadership would want to see it and have it seen that way, but given how much it keeps expanding, and therefore adding new cultures to itself, it would have to have a lot of diversity under the hood, even if it would like to pretend otherwise.

I definitely think the Purview has a harder time of it than the KTB, but that's largely because we have a Field Guide to the KTB, whereas the Field Guide to Harrison Armory never got published because of Miguel's non-compete.

There's also the problem that the KTB has this... glamour to it, in both the modern and traditional senses of the word. I've noticed this in a lot of sci-fi properties - that applying the veneer of nobility and monarchy to something can make people forget or forgive its transgressions more easily.

When Harrison Armory, the nationalist corprostate, does imperialist expansion, we can point at it and immediately say "that's a fascism" (even when it's actually... not? Imperialist expansion is always bad but it's not always necessarily fascistic). But somehow, when the KTB do the same or sometimes worse things, like using nanite terror weapons on Free Sanjak, I've noticed people are quicker to make excuses? Like, oh, yeah that's obviously bad but their society works different the KTB are a big place and like of course they're shitty traditionalists and that's really only the Hagiographs and at least the Karrakin have Republican elements who want change and reform and yeah it's bad but aren't Knightly Chivalrous Mechs Just So Gosh Darned Cool?!

I think the nuance of the KTB is also helped by the fact that they're explicitly depicted as non-monolithic. There are ten named Major Houses with their own distinct cultures, politics and homeworlds, and great pains are taken to ensure us that there's multifarious cultures and religions even on an individual world. HA suffers because to some extent it would be more monolithic - it's a nationalist corprostate with only 400 years of history, compared to the KTB's hybrid elective-monarchy neofeudal federation with 10,000.

HA is distinctly American in the way that the nation has become a brand, and a good citizen has to remain on-brand, so things would be more homogenized. To add to that, omninet and blinkgate technology has existed for the whole of HA's lifespan. The unique and distinct cultures of the KTB worlds came about largely because they spent millennia separated from one another by light years. HA has never had this issue, and likely never will. They have the option - and, more importantly, are motivated - to keep a homogenous culture across all of the Purview.

Lancer is fundamentally a game about examining and fighting against unjust structures of power that oppress people but also being larger-than-life heroes that have fun doing it, and the KTB has an innate leg up by virtue of the fact that it has what I'd call a really strong "initial sell:" YOU'RE A SPACE KNIGHT! SPACE KNIGHTS ARE COOL! (PLEASE DON'T EXAMINE SPACEE FEUDALISM!)

To make Harrison Armory compelling, you'd need a similarly strong initial sell for them. And I think I know just the thing.

FOR HUMANITY! FOR LIBERTY! FOR HARRISON! (Please don't examine space nationalism!)

If I were to write the Harrison Armory Field Guide (Tom and Miguel HMU - just kidding. Unless...?), I'd make it BIG and LOUD and OVER THE TOP and OBVIOUS PROPAGANDA with insertions of the actual truth from a HORUS hacker on the side. I'd put Harrison Armory's positioning as "liberators of the galaxy" front and center - "we dive feet-first into hell to save people from tyrants and slavers. We do the work even the UDoJ/HR won't do. Please do not examine our imperialism or social credit system."

[hold-on-a-little-longer-whump]

Whump & Carries/Drags

After going down that Combat Medic rabbit hole, allow me to put heavy emphasis on the one-person drag. Specifically, the Neck Drag pictured at the bottom right of this image.

Yes, we see the support carry, arm drag, and pack-strap carry very frequently in fiction. I would really, really like to see the Neck Drag used more frequently (please do hmu if you have written or read something with this drag being used <3).

The neck drag is when the injured party clasps their hands together behind the medic's neck, or the medic ties their hands together if they're unconscious. The medic then bear crawls forward until cover or safety is reached, where they can change to an easier carry or drag position, address immediate medical needs, or get carrying assistance from another medic. If the injured party is heavy, the medic would have to crawl forward in short bursts (almost like a scooting motion).

This makes for a very uncomfortable but effective way of extraction for the injured party. Now, if you like romantic tension when writing, this is a great form of forced proximity because the characters are practically on top of one another for the entire duration of this carry - not to mention the medic has to straddle the injured party at the start. Obviously they would have more pressing matters in mind, but us writers are all the same and you know it <3

So, take this idea and run with it! I already mentioned this resource in a previous post, but I'll share it again if you want to see more details. It's very helpful for writing research! Plus there are video demonstrations on how to apply different types of tourniquets, and of course the different carries and drags like the ones mentioned above.

Ran out of brain juice, so I'll stop here. I'm serious about recs with the neck drag though!

[memoirofasparklemuff1n]

omg just read ur long sleeves fix it was sSOOOO GOOD! if u write part 2 i will be tuned in & reading ☝️☝️

i miss you, i'm sorry- r.c. x reader

part 2 of long sleeves!!!

OMGG IM SOO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <3

warnings: swearing angst (?) mention of drugs, rehab, and reader is so fucking codependent, like girl?? anyway, this is horrible y’all i cannot for the life of me write a happy ending so i tried my best 😞 can you tell i’m depressed LMAOOO? YALL SHES DEPRESSED TOO 😔 but seriously if i could make it happier hmu, i won’t get mad i promise. i’m new at this whole writing thing 🤠 not proofread cuz i wanted to post this already so tell me if there are big mistakes and my first language isn’t english so sorry if there are errors

disclaimer: the reader's depression is based on my own experiences, everybody is different and what i might go through isn't the same as what another person goes through. with that said, if you find any of these topics triggering, i understand! so, please always take care of yourself <3

ps: sorry this took so long, i've just been busy with school and my dad has been sick for a few days now so i haven't had time.

I'M ALSO HALFWAY DONE THROUGH THE FLASHBACKS FOR NO BODY, NO CRIME. i just haven't had the time fml. hopefully tomorrow 🤞. ok enough whining and into the story 🥁

want it, so i got it, did it, so it's done

making the bed started playing and the first line felt like a punch to the gut. i hated when life kicked you when you were already down.

i quickly changed to a cheery workout playlist that felt more mocking, in a sense, but decided it was better to not relate to the lyrics than listening to my despair sing back to me.

after that day in tannyhill, i'd decided to start running at night. in a silly way i thought that maybe running would burn away my pain in a healthy way. though how healthy running on barely any sleep, with nothing but depressive thoughts in my brain, was beyond me.

still, at least this way i felt like i was doing something. that i was taking action instead of moping. that doesn't make any sense. ugh, shut the fuck up. i really didn't know whose side i was on half the time.

the night sky was clear, making the stars wink at me as if they knew something i didn't. the sea breeze caressed my face, combing its fingers through my hair and drying away my tears.

running equated crying but by the time i got home i would be so exhausted that i couldn't even think. which was, of course, the ultimate goal. not think of him.

six months had passed and it didn't hurt any less. on the contrary, all i could think was how i'd abandoned him. probably when he needed me the most. two weeks after our breakup, sarah called me to tell me that rafe was terribly sick and they were taking him to the hospital. i'd debated whether i should tell her what had happened but she then said that she was aware of the situation and that i shouldn't go see him. she was only letting me know and, in a way, it felt like she was blaming me.

that was the last time i had contact with the camerons, town gossip and my mother becoming the only ties left between us. he'd gone to rehab and was apparently taking better care of himself, his family supporting him every step of the way.

fucking hypocrites. ward never cared when i told him about his son's addiction, instead saying that i should keep quiet, that everything would be okay. rose only cared about new shopping places to spend the family's money. sarah had started spending time with her new boyfriend and barely came home and wheezie was far too young.

so that left me. it had always been me, but when word got out of how bad rafe he was, they then played the card of ignorance and became the holy family.

i took a deep breath and slowed down to a jog, unaware of where the fuck i was. i looked at my surroundings for the first time and of course, i was in front of tannyhill. the gates were close but i could hear muffled voices on the other side. stepping closer to listen like the eavesdropper i was.

i looked through the bars of the gate, only to see him or well his back. he was with ward, who was lowering another suitcase to the ground. i frowned but i then heard his voice saying my name.

Ward turned his head sharply in his direction, "you are not seeing her again, alright? she's the one that got you into this mess in the first place." oh so the asshole blamed me.

he turned to face his dad and i gasped. his hair was buzzed and he looked older, healthier. he looked good but i couldn't help but feel like this was a different person entirely. i felt a slight pang in my chest because i'd been the one who had insisted on him leaving his hair longer and now he'd erased that too.

his voice interrumpted my thoughts, "dad, that is not true and you know it." why was he defending me? in a way what ward said was true. i'd left him alone that night.

his father stepped closer to him and put his hands on his son’s shoulders, “son, trust me when I tell you that it is best for you to stay away from her. don’t set yourself up for disappointment. We know where that led you.” Ward then kissed his forehead like one did to a child in a condescending manner.

Ward then picked up the suitcases left and turned to enter the house, leaving him standing there with a strange expression on his face. He lifted his gaze and somehow found mine, like they always did. I’d forgotten how we always sensed the other, no matter how much time had passed. My heartbeat sped up, causing me to quickly turn around and ran away from him as fast as I could.

“He is such a good father to those kids, especially Rafe.” Vanessa, my mother’s friend said, swooning over ward. Like god, he’s married, get a life.

Either way it seemed like every corner of this island is haunted. Ever since he’d come back as a stellar young man, all the women at the country club started obsessing over him, but more so his father. They practically held him as a saint and it only made my blood boil.

I felt my mothers gaze on me when his name was mentioned, noting the way I flinched and seemed particularly interested in the half eaten strawberries on my plate. They continued to chatter, causing me to tune them out and look at my surroundings for a distraction. Big mistake.

The doors had opened as if on cue, and there he was with a new found confidence that was unfamiliar to me. Before I could look away his eyes found mine, quieting everything around me, dèjá vu flooding my body. We looked at each other for what seemed an eternity until ward came up behind him, clapping his hand on his shoulder to turn him away from me. The colder version of his son’s eyes bore into mine in a warning. Stay away from him.

I looked back down at my plate no longer interested in my food. My eyes welled up and I knew that if i stayed a minute longer on this table I would start sobbing or worse.

“Mom? I’m not feeling well so I’m going home,” my voice quiet in her ear and she realized what I meant.

She nodded, “take the car, ok?”

“It’s ok, I can walk home.” I needed to clear my head and driving wasn’t the best idea.

“Are you sure?” The concern in her eyes made my heart wrench.

“I’m sure, mom. Thanks.” I stood up and voicing my goodbyes, leaving the club as fast as I could.

The sun was out and the sky was clear of clouds, a stark contrast of how I felt inside. I walked down the path, golf carts filled with kooks passing me by. All of them chattering about the next party or newest deal they had closed.

I kept walking and walking until I reached the boardwalk, which was thankfully empty. I sat down on the edge, swinging my feet over the water with the girl staring back at me and somehow looked as if she was drowning.

The wind carried the sound of footsteps behind me, my body tensing as his perfume arriving along with his shadow looming over me. The drowning girl hid away, leaving me alone. I almost begged her to take me with her.

“Why do you always run away?” my heart sank and then restarted when I heard his voice. For the first time in months, I heard the world clearly again. I hadn’t realized the power it had over me. Didn’t you?

Who was I kidding? He would always be my favorite person, everything about me was shaped by him. My favorite color was blue, my favorite smell was his cologne, my favorite taste were his lips, my favorite sound in the world was his voice, his body my favorite thing to touch. But most of all, his soul.

I took a deep breath before lifting my gaze to his. The knot on my throat made it hard to speak, “Who said I was running away?”

He scoffed before sitting down next to me. “I know you. Or at least I thought I did.” His tone sounded reproachful, his eyes searching my face. this time i really looked at him, gone were his red, glassy eyes, the gauntness of his cheeks but most importantly, the anger that had felt permanently etched into his features every time he looked at me.

the buzz cut now made his features more prominent, his body was stronger and not as skinny as when he’d been living off cocaine and god knew what else.

he looked more like the rafe i’d met forever ago, but there was still something that wasn’t quite there. his innocence. which wasn’t the one of a child, but more so the type of innocence that comes with ignorance. the type where you think you can get away with anything and that bad things only happen to somebody else, but never to you. no matter how bad you behave, you genuinely believed there would be no consequences.

and the boy in front of me knew how untrue that belief was.

“rafe, i—” the knot on my throat became worse, preventing me from talking further. great, now here come the waterworks!

i turned my face away so he couldn’t see my tears but it was too late.

he took hold of my face, “look at me.”

i tried to jerk away but it was no use. i had no other choice but to cry silently while he judged me.

“im going to talk and you’re going to listen, understood?” his voice now held a tone of authority i’d never heard before.

that’s kinda hot. dude, now is not the time.

i nodded because what the fuck was i supposed to do?

he turned so both of his hands held my face now. then he did something i wasn’t expecting, he leaned in and kissed my forehead for what felt like an eternity.

when he pulled away his gaze held mine, with a force stronger than any physical restraint i could possibly be held in.

the tears were flowing freely so i probably looked like a drowned cat at the moment.

“im not mad at you, ok? i hope you know that i never asked for you to not visit me. i know it was my dad that didn’t want you near me, but i swear that the only person i ever wanted by my side was you.

“i won’t deny that i was furious when you left me that night. i only got worse because i didn’t have anyone to stop me, or at least try to. i felt like you were the last person that still believed in me, who would always be beside me. and i took you for granted.” his words felt like a knife through my heart. i abandoned him.

“rafe, im sorry. i shouldn’t have left you like that. not when you needed me the most.” my words barely made sense but he somehow understood. he always did.

“no. you did the right thing. i hurt you, i told you that i hated you. when all you’d ever done for me was love me. i’m sorry, ok? if you hadn’t left then maybe i wouldn’t have gotten help.” he lowered his hands to his lap, my face burning where they had been resting.

“i know you tried to help me. that you talked to my dad about how i was and i know that he dismissed you. he only took me to the hospital because i overdosed and he didn’t want the island to know how ward cameron’s perfect son was a drug addict.” he laughed in a humorless manner, “hell, he even paid everyone at the hospital to keep quiet. that didn’t help much, frankly. gossip always finds its way.”

i wanted to say something but i could tell he wasn’t done so i waited until he felt ready.

this time his voice was hoarse, making me realize he wanted to cry too. i couldn’t take it anymore because nothing could hurt me more than seeing him in pain.

“rafe?” i murmured. he looked up with a broken expression causing me to wrap my arms around him. i felt him tense for a second before he hugged me back tightly.

my shirt got wet with our tears and we clung onto each other like a lifeline, with rafe repeating my name like a mantra. after a while, we pulled away and he held my face between his hands like before, only this time much gentler.

“i miss you, im sorry.”

“i miss you too, rafe.” i fell back into him, resting my head on his shoulder. we sat silently for a while before he spoke.

“can we at least be friends?” the question caught me by surprise.

“you’ve always been my best friend, rafe. but again i’m sorry for not being there, i should’ve done more.”

“no, you couldn’t have. it was the way things were supposed to be.”

he played with my hair like he used to, “you’ve always been my best friend too, kid.”

i punched him playfully at the name, making him chuckle. i pulled back to see his face and i wiped away the few tears that were left with my hand. he fell silent, leaning into my touch, “i love you, you know? not being close to you drove me insane. and it makes me so happy to see that you are healthy, at least physically.

“i want to help you in any way that i can and i want to be there from now on, if—“ his lips crushing onto mine cut me off before i could finish. his hands were in my hair, holding me in place as if afraid i’d run away again.

only i knew i wouldn’t. not this time. he groaned when i bit his lower lip, softly. he ran his tongue along mine before i let him in. i sighed into the kiss and pulled him impossibly closer. our lips explained more than any words that came out of them ever could. i separated from him to breathe and he only kept kissing my cheeks, jaw, neck until he reached my collarbone where he rested his head with quick, short breaths.

“i love you too,” he said. i touched his hair and ran my fingers over the short strands.

“i like your hair, by the way,” i murmured.

he laughed, pulling back. “really? i got it because i thought you would hate it.”

i rolled my eyes, “are you serious? either way, you look good with any haircut.”

“i wasn’t exactly planning on this to go like this. in my head, i was going to confront you and tell you all the ways i’d been miserable but that went away when i saw you that night by my house.”

“oh.”

he chuckled, “yeah. oh. anyway, i was telling my dad how i was going to ask why you never visited me and that’s why he said what you heard.

“i then realized it had been him and as if life liked playing tricks on me, there you were at the gate with a sad expression. yet before i could say anything you left running. i wanted to go after you but my dad called me inside and i didn’t want a fight that night. so i waited until i saw you today and when i was going to ask you to talk to me, again my dad came along. but then i saw you leave and i figured it was now or never, so i excused myself and he was so busy talking to the others at the table that he didn’t notice.”

i scoffed, “well, i’m guessing he noticed by now.”

he laughed, “yeah.”

we fell silent but i still had one more thing to ask, “how did you know i was here?” though i think i already knew the answer, after all i hadn’t exactly been surprised when he came. more like a sense of having your intuition confirmed.

“remember the night we met? i was alone and drunk, saying i was going for a night swim when i saw you sitting here alone. which should’ve alerted me that you were a weirdo but between your beauty and the alcohol, those thoughts went to shit.”

i blushed slightly, “i’m not a weirdo, jackass. i’d had a rough night.”

“i know, kid. i’m just messing with you and besides, i might’ve drowned that night if you hadn’t been here,” he smiled fondly but a bit sad as well.

“so, that makes me your knight in shining armor?” i grinned.

he scowled in mock annoyance, “how dare you mock a damsel in distress?”

i chuckled and felt a heavy weight lift off my chest. i felt lighter than i had in a while, and all because of him.

“my apologies, dear.”

he took my hand with a smile and brought it to his lips for a kiss, before placing it against his cheek.

“but to answer your question, we always find each other,” his words sinking in. that was true. we always did as if there was some invisible string tying him to me.

“you’re right. although you’re still not beating the stalker allegations,” i teased.

“ugh shut up, it was one time!” he groaned.

i burst out laughing, “you followed me for a whole day! that’s some stalker behavior type shit.”

“c’mon, kid. i wanted to give you your bracelet back and i didn’t know where you lived,” his eyes widening in a too innocent way which caused me to narrow mine.

“a bracelet that wasn’t even mine. plus you could’ve just given it to me when you first saw me,” i crossed my arms in front of my chest with a raised brow.

“oh c’mon, but where’s the fun in that?”

i pushed his shoulder, playfully only for him to laugh and hug me.

“i really just wanted to know if you were with someone else, so i wouldn’t make a fool of myself.” he whispered in my ear.

“you could’ve just asked,” i rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me.

“i wanted to be cool about it, ok? i had a reputation to maintain,” he joked but i knew he was a little serious. he’d been the epitome of a rich, arrogant, country club boy.

“i thought you were such an asshole.” who the fuck wears shades inside of a convenience store? you guessed it: rafe cameron.

he gasped in mock surprise, “you’re just saying that because you had the hots for me.”

“pfft, sure buddy. i think you’re projecting a little,” i laughed.

“i never said i didnt,” this time his tone was a little too serious making my heart beat faster.

“can we try this again?” he asked shyly.

i pondered for a moment before answering, “yes, but i want you to let me help you this time, ok?”

he moved his head to look me in the eye, “i promise.”

“ok, but wait. what about your father?” i’d somehow forgotten how he hated me now. or maybe always had.

“what about him? i’m an adult, i can make my own decisions. besides it’s none of his business. he’s the one that got us here in the first place.” his tone was now angry, which was rare when he spoke of his father. it was usually filled with frustration and sadness when it came to him. and i knew how important his father’s approval was to him.

“rafe, i don’t know. he’s still your father and i don’t want to come between you two,” i lowered my eyes so he wouldn’t see the tears threatening to spill.

he was silent for a moment before lifting my chin with his finger, frowning when he noticed my expression.

“you’re the love of my life. i’m not losing you again, ok? he’ll have to understand and i will talk to him. i’ll tell him how things really went down. plus, he isn’t innocent in any of this either.”

pursing my lips, i nodded. “ok” i didn’t really believe ward would be capable of changing his mind, but if it made rafe happy then i would try and compromise.

rafe searched for my eyes with a soft smile, “i love you.”

i returned the smile, “i love you too.”

he then got up to his feet, reaching his hand down to help me stand. after a few more kisses and a hug, he took me to his truck. we drove around with no particular destination in mind but with the sole purpose of being by ourselves without prying eyes and judging remarks.

i hoped deep down that i wasn’t making a mistake and that everything would be ok.

and as if on cue, “everything is going to be ok.” i turned my head in surprise at his words.

“don’t act so shocked, kid. i know you better than i know myself.” he then lifted my hand again and kissed it like he’d done on the boardwalk.

i chuckled and leaned my head back, closing my eyes. with the windows down, the ocean breeze, his hand drawing circles on the back of mine, and the soft music playing, i felt myself float away.

“sleep, angel. i love you.”

and then i woke up.

JK JK IT’S NOT A DREAM.

or is it? HEHEHEHEHE

ALSO WHY IS SHE SO CODEPENDENT??? LIKE GIRL STAND UP (says the one who wrote her 👯‍♀️)

anywayyyy, if you made it this far THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU!!!

please feel free to write comments or whatever, i love talking to you all 💞

and if you liked this check out my other stories!!

im currently writing a murder mystery kind of story and i only have two chapters for now, but i will make flashbacks with like text messages and diary entries and stuff. i’m trying to make it as if the reader is part of the investigation (I HOPE IM DOING A GOOD JOB) and i already have how i want the story to end but writing it is the hard part. like how long do i make it?? i don’t want to rush it but i really want to finish it because the characters take a mind of their own when i write. does that make sense? prob not lol

div creds!!- by @anitalenia

[the-californicationist]

Good Fences (Fluffuary #04)

FEB04: Cheering Them Up

You had a boyfriend.

Keyword: had. 

Getting broken up with in the middle of the night was one thing, but having it be over a text message (all lowercase, no punctuation) was a whole new low. You knew it wasn’t going to last, but the suddenness of it was dreadful, as were the personal criticisms he decided to throw your way just to rub salt into the wound. 

your bodys just not doing it for me anymore

we could still hook up if you want just hmu

but not in bethesda obvi lol 

You weren’t sure what possessed him to say those things to you, but you had seen enough, so you blocked him.

Tear-stained and angry, you went outside to get some fresh air. You wrapped your blanket around you and stared up at the stars, trying to move on from that asshole as quickly as possible. 

Suddenly, you heard John’s sliding door open up. You turned to look at him, and he seemed just as startled to see you there. 

“Oh, hey… Hey,” he furrowed his brow, “What’s happened?”

You sniffled, trying to find your voice,

“Got dumped.” 

“What? Just now? It’s midnight,” he sat next to you, “Did he just leave?” 

You shook your head, dreading having to admit to the fact that you hadn’t even deserved a capital letter much less an in-person visit,

“Text message.”

You passed over your phone to let him experience the drama first-hand. As he read the messages, his face grew increasingly dark, almost scary. You couldn’t help but notice his attire while he read, and you felt insane for doing so. He was in running shorts and a cut-off tee shirt with some rock band’s logo fading and flaking on the front. You were supposed to be sad, but now you couldn’t stop staring at his very visible and extremely muscular arms and abs.

“You’re joking,” he handed you back the phone in disbelief.

You shook your head again and looked down at the tissue in your hands, trying to come up with something to say. 

“What a fuckin’ wanker.”

You laughed, nodding, and he cracked a smile. You let his voice wash over you like a salve, healing the hurt another man had caused, 

“Well, this calls for a bloody drink, don’t it?”

“Don’t think the bars will be open by the time I make it out,” you joked. You weren’t going out anywhere tonight. 

“Wait here,” he said, ducking back into his apartment.

He reemerged with a bottle of Scotch whisky and two glasses, pouring one for you and then one for himself, each equally generous. 

John tinked your glass and drank. You followed suit, albeit a bit more timidly. 

It burned. Then it spiraled into oranges and vanilla and honey. And then it burned again. You tried not to, but you made a face, and said,

“Wow, it’s good. Thanks.”

“Strong, hm?” He purred softly, pleased with his choice.

“Yeah, but still good,” you insisted.

“Don’t worry about those messages, love. Your body is doing wonders just how it is. He wants your reaction.”

You tried not to let the compliment linger in your mind for too long, but it was stuck in there like popcorn in your teeth. 

“I know,” you admitted, “And I wasn’t going to marry this guy or anything, but…”

“Still hurts.”

“Yeah.”

John was clipping and lighting a cigar to have with his drink, and you watched him as he worked. He still hadn’t bought that ashtray he’d promised, but he was using an old glass bowl for now. He smoked for a bit, sharing it with you wordlessly. Then, he took a long breath and gave you a droll look.

“What is the difference between a condom and a coffin?”

You laughed before he even gave you the punchline of the joke, shocked by its crudeness,

“What?” 

“You come in one and leave in the other.”

“John!”  

He snickered, listening to you laugh, turning a little red in the face as he did so. 

“Alright, alright,” he prepared another one for you, “What can you spell with P, E, N, I, and S?”

You raised your eyebrows at him, and shrugged, 

“Penis?”

He scoffed, 

“Spine, you filthy thing.”

You stayed outside talking and telling jokes long enough to see the black starfield give way to a pale pink morning, and before you knew it, half a bottle of whisky was gone. John had certainly worked his magic in you, and by the time you said goodnight and climbed back into your bed, you’d forgotten why you’d even been wasting your tears on a jerk like that in the first place.

Check out the schedule here.

AO3 Link

[jo6hny]

Casual - Hazel Callahan

Pairing: College student! Hazel Callahan x College student! Reader 

Contains: the angst that comes with a “casual” relationship, some fluff, a smidge of smut (for the plot), reader’s kind of an asshole in this, happy ending!! 

Word Count: 4.4k

Summary: Hazel and Reader are in a “casual” relationship.  Based on Chappell Roan’s song!

A/N: First time writing wlw please spare me and i also haven't written in a long time so :< I also take requests for hazel and kit, my inbox is open and i also need mutuals so hmu pls :)) 

Knee deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out Is it casual now?

“Seriously, Hazel. Get a grip, she’s using you.” PJ rolled her eyes at the brunette after having to listen to the same story about you for nth time. It was always like this. She always yapped to her friends about how you made her feel in love but conflicted. How she never knew what your relationship was and how she could never find her grip over you loosening. 

Josie nods at PJ's statement. She knew that her friend could use better words especially since Hazel is sensitive, but she needed the truth. They were both tired of giving the latter hints. Josie especially couldn’t help but feel hurt on Hazel’s behalf after she’d heard about your ongoing “casual” relationship. 

“I don’t know guys,” Hazel trails off, fidgeting with her rings. “Maybe tonight will be different. I’ll have the courage to ask her about us again and we’re gonna be official. I know it.” 

The two girls couldn’t help but sigh at their friend’s hopelessness. But they couldn’t do anything but be supportive. They’ve tried their best to warn her about the dangers of being with you and yet nothing seemed to faze the blue eyed girl. She didn’t care, she was in love. She looked at you like you were the universe. It didn’t matter that you keep brushing her off whenever she asks about your relationship. It didn’t matter that she’s met half of your family but you only introduced her as a “friend” No, none of it mattered to her. What mattered was that she was in your orbit; that you saw her. 

2 years ago she would have never dreamed that you would spare her a glance. You were never the type to date losers. And yet here she was, knee deep in the passenger seat of her car, eating you out and having the time of her life. Hazel lapped up your juices, not wasting a drop. The brunette swore to herself that she would never get tired of how you tasted. How soft you felt under her palms. 

“Fuck Hazel, right there.” You moaned, gripping her hair as you found release. 

The younger girl looks at you with a sense of pride as she props herself up on her elbows. You take a hand and caress the sweet girl’s cheek, looking at her with admiration. 

“Did I do good?” She asks with a seemingly innocent tone. Oh, how sweet she was. How kind. It broke your heart to lead such a good person on. 

You nodded, adjusting your clothes and sitting up. The brown haired girl sat next to you on the driver’s seat. She looked nervous, like she was bottling something up. 

“Is something bothering you?” 

Hazel sucks a breath in. She was fidgeting with her rings and that’s how you knew that she was nervous about something. You put your hand on top of hers to calm her down. 

“It's just that,” She starts, not able to make eye contact with you, “I wanted to ask you something if that’s okay.” 

You purse your lips. You know where this was going. She was going to ask about your relationship again. You didn’t have it in you to break her heart today. Not when she just gave you the best head of your life. But you couldn’t exactly give her what she wanted. It wasn’t that easy. You adored Hazel more than anything in the world, and she meant more to you than any other person did. But you couldn’t bring yourself to make things official. It was all too real, too heavy. Being vulnerable and leaving your heart’s responsibility to another person was something you just couldn’t do. You couldn’t afford another heartbreak. It’s not like Hazel would, though. You knew that she would treat you well, but you couldn’t promise the same for her. 

“Hazel, baby.” You said, giving her hand a squeeze. “If this is about what I think it is, I’m sorry. I can’t give you an answer today. But you know what you mean to me.” 

Hazel nods, biting her lip as she tries to fight off tears. You could feel a crack forming in your heart at the sight of your girl with glassy eyes.

“It’s okay.” She breathed. It was not. But she had to pretend that it was. She didn’t want to lose you. She knew that many others sought after you. So she nods and she smiles. 

────────────────────────────────────────────

Hazel settles into class and takes a seat next to PJ and Josie. The pair looked at her expectantly and she could only give them a sad stare. They already knew what happened from the looks of the brown haired girl. The campus crush strikes again. Hazel spends the rest of the class with her mind not on the lesson, but on your relationship. Dark thoughts started to muddle her mind, she wondered what was wrong with her, why it was so hard for you to give her a chance. 

PJ puts a hand on her shoulder, shaking her out of her trance. 

“Hey, we’re going to the cafe and maybe study, you wanna come with?” She asks, both her and Josie look at her with sympathy. This was the only way they knew how to cheer their friend up. Neither were the type to be touchy or give words of assurance. Plus, they knew Hazel wouldn’t want anyone else but you to touch her anyway. 

Hazel simply nods, not having the energy to respond verbally. 

They head to the cafe nearest to their building and occupy a table near a window. This was your table. Well, both of yours. Hazel brought you here the first time she asked you out and it became your meetup destination from then on. 

Josie sets a drink in front of her and takes a seat across the table.Her friends look at her expectantly. They want to know what went down, expectedly. Hazel doesn’t know if she has the courage to tell her friends about her rejection. It wasn’t like this was the first time anyway, but it still hurt. She can’t help but feel ashamed of her hubris, how she spoke highly of herself and how sure she was that this would be the time you would change her mind only for her to come back like a scared dog with her tail tucked between her legs. It’s like she never learned when it came to you. 

Hazel opens her mouth, racking her brain for words to describe what went on yesterday. 

“Well-” 

“Shut up.”  PJ interjects, looking at something behind Hazel. Something beyond the window and on the outside of the cafe. 

“What’s going on?” She asks nervously. 

Josie gives her a disappointed look, nodding her head towards where PJ was staring. It was you. With a girl who wasn’t her. Now, she wouldn’t immediately assume malicious things whenever she sees you with someone else but this time it was different. You had your arm wrapped around the woman and the both of you were smiling at some stupid thing she couldn’t comprehend. Hazel’s body started to feel warm and tears started to well in her eyes. She felt stupid. Her lip quivered and she was holding back a sob. 

“We should go.” Josie says with caution. Her friend takes her hand and leads her outside away from the cafe. Away from you. 

“I’m sure that was nothing.” PJ says, which was very unlike her. Usually, she’d take this as an opportunity to spew insults and talk about how you were using her. How people saw Hazel as some girl that you fuck on her couch. But this time she chose to bite her tongue. She already saw how broken her friend was and she didn’t want to add to it. Especially not since Hazel was the only person left in the friend group without a solid relationship. 

“Right.” Hazel choked out. She couldn’t bring herself to speak. If she spoke, she was sure that it would continue on to a sob. The blue eyed girl didn’t want to break out sobbing in front of so many people. But she couldn’t help the hurt she felt. 

────────────────────────────────────────────

It’s been a week since the incident. Hazel was ignoring you. She didn’t need Josie or PJ’s words to convince her to do it this time. The hurt in her heart was enough. Though she couldn’t deny that it was difficult to do. You would hit her up and all she could do was ignore you. A small voice inside Hazel was deluding her, telling her that you care because you didn’t stop messaging her. But she knew better. Just then, her phone pings and it was another text from you. 

MY girl (mine): baby are you okay? It’s been a week. i’m worried about you, yk.  MY girl (mine): text me back, okay?  MY girl (mine): i miss you. 

Hazel groans at the last message you sent. You certainly knew how to reel her in. Did you actually miss her? Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give you a bit of an update. No. She had to stay strong. This relationship had dragged on for too long. She was going crazy without confirmation from you. She needed security, stability. She needed you to tell her that you wanted her. But she knew better. The brunette throws her phone across her bed and decides to continue ignoring you. 

Just then, a knock on her door interrupts her train of thought. Hazel’s stomach drops and she feels nervous for no reason. Her mind was feeding her delusions again. What if it was you? Had you come to check up on her? The knocking continues and she forces herself to get out of bed to make way towards the door. Her hand hovers over the doorknob, she didn’t know how to feel if it was you on the other side and if it weren’t. She’d been doing so well at staying away, but her being called for you. Every part of her being yearned for your touch, for your voice, for you.

“Hazel? It’s me.” Your voice is muffled by the door but she definitely knew that it was you. Her heart jumped, her pulse was racing. Her mind was screaming right now. So you did come to see her! She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of your concern. Maybe you did care for her, maybe a part of you felt the same. 

She wiped the smile off her face before opening the door. She didn’t want you to see how excited she was. Not that it wasn’t obvious from how she glowed. 

“Hey.” She greeted, opening the door a bit too excitedly. “What are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to see you. You’ve been ignoring me.” You reply, looking at her with a bit of hurt. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I got sick.” She lies, fake coughing. Hazel couldn’t help but feel guilty. She couldn’t tell you the truth, though. She wasn’t very confrontational and she was too scared that you’d shut her down. All she wanted right now was to bask in your presence and let herself enjoy the fact that you went out of your way to see her. 

“Aw, you should have told me, Haze. I would have brought you meds too.” The brunette looks down and sees your hand with a plastic bag full of what she assumes are snacks. 

“Are those for me?” Hazel replies with shock and fascination. You’d never done anything like this for her before. This caught her off guard. Usually it was her that did all the effort but here you were with all her favorite snacks. Her heart warmed at the thought. Maybe PJ and Josie were wrong about you. 

You roll your eyes playfully. “Obviously, dummy. Can I come in?” 

The blue eyed girl nods and lets you in. You settle on her bed and put the plastic bag full of Hazel’s favorite snacks and drinks on her desk. It took you a bit longer to come visit Hazel than you’d intended. You were well aware that she was ignoring you and that she was lying to your face. But you couldn’t blame her. She must have had her reasons and you knew that you were a major part of it. You felt guilty. Hazel didn’t deserve to be stringed around like a rag doll, but you couldn’t let her go either. Which is why you swallowed your pride and came over to hers with all her favorite snacks. You didn’t even have to make an effort on remembering what she liked because it was all ingrained in your mind. If it were any other girl, you would have let them stay away but Hazel was different. 

“Do you feel okay now?” 

“Uhm…yeah. I guess.” 

You pout, not knowing what to say to her. Instead, you pat the empty spot beside you and gesture for her to sit. Hazel takes the cue and as soon as she does, you wrap your arms around her. 

“I missed you, Haze.” You whisper, burying your nose on the crook of her neck. She smelled good, clean. She smelled like home. 

Hazel’s arms tighten around you as she reciprocates the feelings. You feel a weight fall off your shoulders, one that you never knew you had. It was always so easy to be with her. Sure, she was sometimes awkward, and sometimes she yapped a lot, but she was your girl. She felt like a warm cozy day in bed. She enveloped your mind and senses and it scared you dearly. 

“Tell me what’s wrong, Haze. I know you aren’t sick.” You mumble, holding her tighter. 

Your lover sighs and takes a minute before replying. Your heart was pounding. 

“I saw you the other day near the cafe.” She trails off, rubbing her palms on your back. “You were with a girl.” 

“It was a friend.” You reply, cutting off allegations before Hazel could make them. You knew where this was going.

“I knew that,” She says, giving you a reassuring smile. “I told PJ and Josie that too.” 

Hazel felt as if that wasn’t true, but she didn’t want to ruin the mood. It’s not every day that she has you in her dorm room all to herself. And it wasn’t like you two were a thing anyway. The thought of your relationship seemed to dampen her mood even more. The brunette couldn’t help but noticeably frown. 

You lifted your head from her embrace and looked at her, your eyebrows furrowed.  

“There’s something else that’s bothering you. I can feel it.” 

“It’s just…” She starts, readying herself for what she was about to say. She really couldn’t hold it in any longer. Hazel could just not get why you two couldn’t become official. 

“Don’t you want to be mine? Or like each others” 

Your face feigns confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“Like, girlfriends.” She shrugged, avoiding eye contact. “It’s not like we don’t already do couple-y things, you know.” 

“Hazel,” you sigh. “Please don’t start.” 

“I love you.” She blurts out. You could feel your breath hitch and your palms grow cold. This couldn’t be happening right now. Your chest tightens at her confession and you feel sorry for her. No words could leave your mouth right now and all you could do was stare. 

“I’m sorry.” She says, noticing the lack of response. 

You put a hand on her cheek. 

“No, baby. Don’t apologize.” She looks at you with her big blue eyes that were filled with regret and sadness. Hurt filled your chest as you saw how tears started to fill her eyes. 

Letting go of your embrace, she said, “I just don’t get it. I don’t get why you don’t want me.” 

“Haze, that’s not true at all. You know that. I do want you.” You counter, trying to get her to look at you. 

“Then why can’t you admit it? Why can’t you commit to loving me?” She shoots back at you, her voice cracked. 

A lump formed in your throat and you couldn’t find the words. It’s not that you didn’t love her, you did, with all of your being. But you couldn’t commit to being with her because of how afraid you were to hurt her. Hazel wasn’t like you. She’s pure, kind, and thoughtful. You on the other hand had a reputation for breaking hearts. You simply couldn’t bear the thought of breaking her heart. Being with you meant people would judge her more than she already was. More than you already were. 

“Please leave.” She whispers as she takes your hand off her cheek. The sound of her sniffles filled the room. 

“I’m really sorry, Haze.” You mutter, getting up. Maybe giving her space would be the right thing to do. Hazel deserved better than a girl like you, after all. She would be better off with someone who’d be proud to love her. 

────────────────────────────────────────────

Hazel looked at her phone for the nth time today, hoping that she might catch a stray message from you. Unfortunately, you seemed better off without her as she hadn’t received anything for the past two weeks. She even texted once and you didn’t even read the message. 

The brunette groans into her pillow. She regretted ever pushing it with you. Honestly, she wished that she kept her mouth shut. Maybe you’d still be in bed with her if she had. But a part of her was relieved. Relieved that at least everything’s clearer now to her and she managed to say what she always has. Hazel loved you more than anything in the world. More than her stamp collection and that says something. But she knew when to let go and wave the white flag. She couldn’t keep going in the relationship blind and not knowing what to do. Though, a small part of her still puts up hope that maybe one day you’ll choose her. Maybe. 

Her phone pings just then and her head shoots up. Hope fills her heart up as she looks at the notifications on her screen. 

MY girl (mine): Hey! Sorry I didn’t reply to your texts. LOL. I think I’m ready to be girlfriends now :))  Come over to the party over at Isabel’s later? 

Hazel frowned. Something wasn’t right. There was a tugging at her stomach that told her to be careful, but it was quickly overridden with excitement. 

Hazel: sure bby ill be there!! see u <33 MY girl (mine): Great :)) 

She arrives over at Isabel’s after a good fifteen minute walk. Hazel slowed herself down, she didn’t want to seem too eager to see you. Plus, she wanted to rehearse the potential conversation in her head before she saw you. In her hands was a bouquet of flowers and a handwritten letter that she wrote when she first met you. It was full of adoration and compliments about how captivating you were and how you captured the girl’s heart. To say she was excited was an understatement. The day was finally here. You two would be official. 

“Hey Haze!” Isabel greets her as she makes her way to the door. 

She waves her hand at her and asks your whereabouts. Isabel tells you that you’re over at her room, something about needing to lie down because your social battery is low. Hazel chuckled at that and thought about how you and her were similar in many ways.

Making her way upstairs, she rehearsed every talk point she wanted to bring up. Her hands were sweaty and her heart pounded but she was feeling optimistic. 

Standing in front of Isabel’s room door, she takes the knob and opens it. Her heart drops at the sight in front of her. There you were kissing the girl she saw you with near the cafe. Tears  flooded her eyes as she choked up a sob. 

The sound of Hazel’s sob alerts you and you push the girl away. 

“Hazel, oh my god. It’s not what you think-” 

The blue eyed girl storms out of the house faster than you could finish the sentence. You run after her but not before slapping your friend. She kissed you without prior knowledge and somehow you had a feeling that she might be the reason why Hazel was here. 

Catching up to your lover, you spot her walking away from Isabel’s house. 

“Hazel, wait! Please.” You pleaded, grabbing her arm. Tears were also evident in your eyes. Somehow you knew that this moment would define the way Hazel saw you and it burned you with agony. 

“You lied to me!” She yelled, not being able to contain her feelings anymore. She had always tried to be patient and kind. It was never in her nature to yell or be aggressive but this time all of the anguish inside of her built up and she couldn’t help but lash out. 

“Hazel I didn’t know you would be here and it’s not what it looks like, please.” You sob, pleading with her. She didn’t seem to believe you. Her eyes were filled with hurt and doubt. 

“You-” She said in between sobs, “You said you wanted to be with me. That you wanted to be together. You lied.” 

“Baby, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m sorry.” You said. 

Hazel takes her phone out of her pockets and shoves her phone in front of you. There, you saw a text from your number but it was not written by you.  You were right. Your friend did set the whole thing up. Disbelief filled your senses at the betrayal. You knew she had a thing for you but you couldn’t believe that she would do such a thing like this. Everyone knows not to approach you especially because they’ve seen you with Hazel and because you reject anyone else. 

“Do you know what they call me? They call me some girl you fuck on the side. I can’t believe I let this go on for so long, I feel so stupid.” She said, her voice breaking at every word. Hazel’s words were filled with venom and each felt like poison injecting itself in your bloodstream. The day you feared had come to be. In an attempt to run away and shield her, you broke her heart without notice and without care. 

“Hazel, I’m so sorry. You’re more than that to me, you know that.” 

“Just because you say that doesn’t mean I feel it.” 

It felt like something sharp struck your chest. How could you be so blind? You thought that keeping her at arms length would be the safest thing to do. But now you see your lover as she breaks in front of you. 

“You’re not stupid,” You say as you get closer to her. “And I do love you, Haze.” 

At that, Hazel froze. She didn’t know if she heard it correctly. But she did. Did she? It felt like a trick on her mind. The girl’s brows furrowed and her mouth hung ajar. 

“Do you really?” She whispers, scared that if she said anything louder that everything would disrupt. She was afraid that she was dreaming. 

You nod, wrapping your arms around her chest. 

“More than anything in the world, Haze.” 

Hazel looks at you, searching your eyes for any signs of trickery and lies. But all she could see was sincerity. 

“I’m sorry that I hurt you. I thought that it would be better for the two of us if we weren’t anything. I thought people would judge less. Stupid on my part, I know.” You apologize, breaking eye contact. 

“You’re not stupid.” She assures, her tone was soft and kind. 

“I kind of am.” You sniffle, giving her a shy smile. It was time to face your fears. You couldn’t handle seeing Hazel hurt and you had to admit that your heart screamed for her. It was as if you were made on this earth to love and care for her. 

“It’s okay, I am too.” She reassures you and it makes you laugh. Hazel smiles at hearing your laughter. 

“So where do we go from here? Girlfriends?” 

Hazel purses her lips, thinking about your friend she caught you in a lip lock with. 

“I don’t know, what about the person you were kissing earlier?” 

“That was nothing,” You said, shaking your head, “She was jealous of you. And she was the one that sent you that text. I’m so sorry for roping you in this, Haze.” 

“It’s okay.” She replies, Hazel believed in you. Her gut was right about that text message. Next time she saw that “friend” of yours she was sure to put a punch in. She hadn’t forgotten about her days at the fight club after all. Maybe she should put her skills back to good use. 

“So…” You trail off, cutting her thoughts off. 

“Girlfriends?” She asks, retracting from your arms and handing you the flowers and letter she had. 

You beamed at the brunette and nodded eagerly,  “If you want me to be.”

Hazel looks at you, bewildered. 

“What? of course I want you to be.” She said, not catching your teasing tone. This makes you laugh at how adorable she was. 

“Never mind.” You reply as you lean closer, putting your lips on hers. The kiss was eager but definitely not rough. It was a kiss shared between lovers that have reconnected. Lovers who finally bared their hearts with each other. It was soft, beautiful, and it made your head dizzy. 

“I love you, Haze.” You said in between kisses. Hazel smiles and continues kissing you. 

In the far distance, two girls had their eyes set on you from the beginning as the fight between you and Hazel ensued. They were both taking bets on what the outcome would be. When you kissed and made up, the other had to pay up. 

“Damn, I didn’t think they’d actually end up together.” PJ said disappointedly as she rummaged her pockets for twenty dollars that she lost to Josie. 

“I told you, dumbass. They have the hots for each other.” Josie replied, not revealing that Isabel told her all about how you wanted to be with Hazel but couldn’t because of your issues. She admits that she was iffy about you at first but now that she saw you going after Hazel, she decided that you weren’t that bad after all. Though, that was something she’d keep to herself. For now though, she’s enjoying her victory and beaming with pride as her friend finally gets the girl. 

[justanotherflemethstan]

I have finally finished Veilguard. I have already voiced my critiques (critique 1, critique 2, critique 3 & critique 4) and I largely stand by them. so instead, here are 5 things I absolutely loved about Dragon Age The Veilguard.

1. Mourn Watch

Mourn Watch, Mourn Watch, Mourn Watch. Wow. wwowowowow. Everything, from Rook's background, their interactions with Emmrich and unique Mourn Watch dialogue options throughout the game, to the location and the lore and Myrna & Vorgoth, was Perfect. I wouldn't change a single thing and the only difficulty I have with the Mourn Watch faction is not making all of my future Rooks Mourn Watchers too. If bioware makes Mourn Watch themed merch I will buy ALL of it. if any of you are making Mourn Watch themed merch please hmu.

(also, can I just say, I bet that at least one of people responsible for Mourn Watch has read The Locked Tomb. you just can tell, and I say that as a compliment)

2. Grand Necropolis

Is it a cheat to have the first two points be kind of about the same thing? Who cares. The Grand Necropolis was AMAZING. I could spend an entire game within its walls and never leave. In fact, I WANT to spend an entire game within its walls. We need a Grand Necropolis DLC. I want to know EVERYTHING there is to know about its lore and its customs. I am truly obsessed. Special thanks to all the level artists and level designers involved in making Grand Necropolis happen.

3. Davrin and his romance

Davrin's romance was just breathtaking. Him and my Rook felt like soulmates and I loved loved loved every interaction they had. Everything from Davrin's character and his story arc to the voice acting and the way his romance with Rook was written is just fantastic. I probably won't be able to romance him again bc I ship him with my canon Rook so hard. Davrin easily goes into my Top 5 favourite Dragon Age characters of all time.

4. Combat

I've played a sword and board warrior and I had a blast. I was playing on Normal/Adventurer difficulty and admittedly by the end of the game my Rook became a bit OP and was insta killing almost everything that moved and bosses took about 8-10 hits. But I'm really really looking forward to experiencing the other classes and experimenting with different builds/party comps/difficulty settings. The combat was truly a highlight of this game for me and I'd say that it's probably my favourite Dragon Age combat system of all the 4 games now. Which is really not something I expected to say going into the game.

5. Companions and their personal quests

The devs promised us a diverse and lovable set of companions and imo they truly delivered. I liked doing companions' personal questlines the most, and I loved how they were all very different and didn't follow the same structure or story beats. Companions also all had different personalities and quirks and their interactions with each other were memorable and kept me engaged with the game even when I was struggling through some of the slower parts. The Veilguard did indeed deliver on The Veilguard.

___

I know all these are pretty subjective and I appreciate that everyone might have a different experience with any or all of the above points. I just felt it'd be only fair to be as vocal about the parts of the game I enjoyed as I was about the things I didn't like.

[bog-mummies]

yapping at length about stuff that nil says in zero dawn (i do not have his transcript for forbidden west. if anyone has that then HMU pleaseeee). a lot of my analyses may seem like a stretch but please just trust me. hold my hand. these are all from when aloy first meets him, and when she clears devil's thirst.

"Yes, yes, yes, trespass is forbidden on pain of death… Strange phrase, the pain of death. See, this one’s in no pain at all."

i like his little "yes yes yes". iirc he displays similar repetitive speech patterns later on and i find it very endearing. also, he's prone to philosophizing. based on his (likely) previous status as a kestrel and just the way he speaks and carries himself, i headcanon that he 1. came from a noble, or at least well-off/respectable family and 2. is well-educated and well-read. i think in another world he could've been a poet

2. "A thief, a slaver, a killer– the kind that give honest killers a bad name."

he sees himself as different, even though we *definitely* know that he's a killer, and was probably previously a slaver (or at least complicit in the enslavement of non-carja). dunno about thievery, but to his credit he doesn't seem like the stealing type to me (i'd imagine he sees it as beneath him. he's proud). anyway, he rationalizes his violence by framing it as more *civilized* than the shit bandits do. i think it's that carja exceptionalism he was probably raised with that's poking thru - he *cares* about honor. he cares about being civilized. it's important to him that he can justify what he does. he may come across as entirely amoral, but that's not really true. he does have convictions, he does believe in things other than violence, even if it's not immediately obvious.

3. (referring to a corpse) "This one and I just need a moment longer. To reflect on all we’ve been through."

i just think this is funny. he's such a freak.

4. "Call it a shared interest. And call me Nil."

there are multiple circumstances in which you can meet him for the first time, and he *always* introduces himself like this. "call me nil", not "my name is nil". i think this tiny difference is an intentional choice on his part - he is very explicitly *not* claiming that it's his name. Nil obviously not his original name, but does he even believe in names at all? i don't think he ever refers to aloy by her name in HZD - just calls her "huntress". personally, i like to think that he never learns her name until after he asks to duel. i headcanon (and this may just be projection) that nil prefers *titles* (or maybe nicknames) to names. a name is just a... sound, but a title is what you *are*. aloy is a huntress. nil is nothing (not true, but that's how he wants to perceive himself). and when he becomes "red teeth" in forbidden west, that's also a title, kind of. i'm not sure if it's something he chose, but it's still descriptive and meaningful. it's a nickname based on the mask he wears to hide his face, to hide the fact that he's carja - possibly even to hide the fact that he is *specifically* the scary-ass bloodthirsty carja from the red raids, depending on how well-known he was (spicier if it's the latter). it's based on his deliberate rejection of his past and identity, of his choice to assimilate into a foreign culture after being carja all his lifeo. it's not *just* a nickname - it's a symbol of the death of his previous identity. it mirrors how he likely changed his name after leaving sunstone rock, to reject his previous identity as a soldier, to become *nothing*. except this time, he's not nothing. he's a mask, a mystery, but he's still someone, and i think that's significant. because.

5. "Look there- those old rocks? A bandit clan squats under them. Disturb the rocks, and they’ll come wriggling out, (turns back to Aloy) worms that they are."

more of him reducing bandits to something lesser, something inhuman. more of him saying "i am not like that. i am *better* than they are."

6. "My partner and I shadowed these scum for days. Good tracker, but he went on ahead without me. We’d talked about this kind of behavior."

he never actually names his partner. significant? perhaps. perhaps not.

7. "Still, I understand. Leave it too long, your fingers itch for the bowstring."

i struggle a bit when it comes to analyzing his relationship with violence. a common interpretation i see is that for nil, sex and violence are intertwined. and i can see that (he does have a *lot* of suggestive dialogue), but i prefer a different interpretation: that he engages in violence *in place* of sex. i don't quite know how to put it into words, but i think that violence for him fulfills a similar purpose as sex (i headcanon him as ace <3). it provides him with both physical and emotional catharsis, and nil, to some degree, also sees violence as a form of intimacy (see also: some of his fight dialogue). i don't have any evidence that explicitly supports my interpretation over the other one, i just think it's more interesting this way.

8. "Trust is a rare egg to find, isn’t it? I’m just a traveler, with a bow, a concern about the state of these lands, and a missing partner."

something something "i'm nobody" something something. it's subtle but he's kind of diminishing himself here. not like, putting himself down, but making himself seem like less of an individual, less of a person. and aloy notices, and calls him out on it! "i don't think you're 'just' anything at all". and then he deflects, avoids talking about it. man it pisses me off how much he deflects and avoids talking about his past (i need to know literally everything about you and you are making it DIFFICULT for me. fuck you and fuck your stupid headdress and double-fuck your dumb haircut).

9. "And if you’re the heroic kind, who needs a little extra– there’s the captives."

implicitly distancing himself from heroism. more of that "im nothing im nobody i dont believe in anything" bullshit

10. "Feels good, doesn’t it? Hold it inside you one last breath, then let it out."

is this aftercare? discuss.

11. "They killed him. I hardly feel surprised. He was already getting cocky when we carved through the last bandit camp. I thought he and I were agreed: only enjoy the killing as much as the challenge. (he shrugs) No great loss. Nothing in the wilds I can’t handle, just me and the Voice of Our Teeth here."

distancing himself from personal relationships and ties to other people. back on his bullshit again. i do like his whole disaffected vibe tho, it's fun. i think it's interesting that he named his bow though - it's useful, it's (presumably, based on the fact that it looks like it has a mishmash of stuff from a bunch of different tribes) been with him for a while (almost certainly during the red raids), and most importantly, it's a tool for killing. violence is central to his identity, so he feels comfortable attaching himself to the tool he used, and continues to use, for violence. and he names it. y'all know how i feel about nil and names, so this is significant. i don't exactly know *how* it's significant, but i know that it is. idk im sleepy.

12. "They wrong us all. They live filthy lives, so they have to die that way, too."

see: 5 and 2.

13. "No, no– for sport. I can’t wait for wars any more: life’s too short, and the thrill of death too sharp. If you kill a tribesman, there’ll be retribution. Hunt a boar, they complain if you waste the meat. But bandits? They’re vicious. They always put up a fight. And no-one cares if you kill them."

a practical solution to his bloodlust. but it shows that he *does* care about honor (carja stuff again), that it matters to him that he does things the "right" way. i'm not sure it's really about right and wrong, more about clean and unclean. he'll challenge aloy to a duel, but he won't shoot her in the back. he'll slaughter civilians for sun-king jiran, but he won't kill innocents when there's no war to justify it. there's something there, i think.

i have a huge blind spot when it comes to nil and it's whatever the fuck he's got going on with aloy. like obviously she's a killing machine and he's enamored because of that but like. is that really *it*??? it cant be. but i suck at romance and analyzing romantic relationships so unfortunately i do not Get It™️

niloy stuff aside, i might add more onto this later. i've only really gotten out like a third of what im thinking (esp his whole deal with being carja, how his experience as a soldier for the sundom affects his relationship with violence, etc etc. and also the thing with his bow and his dealio with names. and why he seems to reject his past and personal identity so much. and common fan theories about him) but i just dont know how to put it into words.

also also also. if you liked this then you should also read this fic: 

Daylight - Anosrepasi - Horizon (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

because it's a very good character study on the little freak

[edgelordhoard]

hey im planning to switch over to linux and need advice from the smart people of tumblr, please and thank you. my messages are open so if you need any info to help me out hmu.

General Questions:

im seeing everyone saying ubuntu, mint, and ziron are "the #1 go to versions for beginners" but like... which is it?

i also hear about security being the best with linux but nothing about it coming with antiviruses. does it come with one like how windows comes with defender or do you install that yourself, or is it something different entirely?

all the sources i look at talk about downloading and installing linux but i want to know what to expect when first getting a prebuilt pc with the OS, like the system 76 pcs. do you have to set it up like when you install it or is it as easy as getting any new computer?

i know nothing about coding and im planning to get a computer from system 76 since it seems like the best, and its by far the only source that only comes with linux, and since my current one was pretty much ruined by someone i thought could fix it after a faulty outlet fried its insides, he didnt and made it worse.

so yeah, which linux version do you suggest for a computer moron, any suggestions for computers would be nice (max price is $1,300), i'll put the specs and my uses under the read more.

Preferences:

It ONLY comes with Linux. I despise what Windows has become and don't want to even bother dual booting cause I feel with the switchovers happening they're gonna get salty and make something that'll turn your computer into a bomb if you use Linux with it.

Kinda beefy but not a supercomputer. I don't use AI stuff, I'm not a programmer, but I do frequently play modded Minecraft with my friends and run smps for my Discord servers. I recently switched to Modrinth cause ATLauncher had been giving me trouble. Curseforge is out of the question.

At the most, I'll be playing VRChat with friends while having Spotify or Youtube in the background for music and Discord open in case someone needs my help in one of my servers, similar goes for running one of my SMPs just minus the VR.

Gaming Questions:

I also play VR games often, especially BeatSaber (modded ofc im not insane), and I have Half Life Alyx that I haven't been able to finish cause my already dead and gutted PC struggles to run it anymore even with the lowest settings. My current headset is a two feet in the grave, barely hanging in there, held by tape Oculus Rift S thats as old as my current PC whos also dead. I plan to get a new headset soon and had the Quest 2 recommended to me by friends. If theres better alternatives that isn't Meta please let me know.

I'm a DBD addict. Does it really run DBD or was that just the one guy from the one video I saw.

My friends also often drag me onto Roblox so I need to know if that'll be an option for Linux too.

I know I could probably look up all this myself but every source is outdated from years ago or they all say different things and it just confuses me.

Art Questions:

My current tablet is a Wacom, I got it before knowing how greedy the company actually is, and I plan to switch to a Huion after this tablet dies on me. If compatibility is an issue with it please let me know what to do about that.

I usually use Medibang but I don't think it runs on Linux from what I've seen, if I'm wrong lemme know. Am I going to have to switch all the files over to something else before getting a Linux or are there programs I can use that'll load them?

I also write and need to know if I need to switch all my files to something else before porting it all over to the Linux PC. I just used the default notepad and document programs on Windows.

But yeah, that's all my questions for now. If I think of any more I'll just edit this post. Sorry if I sound super dumb for all this, I tried finding information sources myself but like I said all of them weren't too moron friendly or had relevant information. Most sources I found were articles or reddit forums from years ago so I thought "Hey, why don't I just go ask the computer nerds directly?" so here I am.

[skibasyndrome]

Since it's the rare pairs week I have to ask, have you written a rare pair before would you be into the idea, would that ever touch on Simon or Wille being with other ppl? (Whatever context you please) 🤗

Hiiii! So fun that you're asking, thank you!!! 💜

I was just saying to a friend that I'm afraid I'm very boring and have a big case of mono-shipping going on, shame on me 🙈 I'm just sooo singularly focused on wilmon that nothing else really compels me in a i-want-to-write-that sense, you know? Or at least it hasn't really, so far. I want to say I'm not really opposed to taking up the challenge if an idea or prompt strikes me, but I thiiiiink it would still have to be a pair that has either Simon or Wille (or both, more on that further down) in it, because I'm just. So focused on them as characters that it's difficult to feel much creative pull otherwise. 😅 (question back at you and whoever is reading along: is that something you'd want me to attempt? some wille x [?] or simon x [?]? in which way? I'm intrigued now! hmu with something and maybe I'll feel like writing a little something for it!)

This is likely not exactly what most people view as a rarepair, but what I could maybe see myself doing again is getting into stuff like wilmon plus someone else, in some capacity at least. And I've definitely written that before, when I wrote (ducking now, so any rocks thrown my way don't hit me) One, two, three (Not only you and me) in which an attempt at a threesome with (ducking again, the rocks might still be flying) Nils was made.

The universe it's set in is different to canon, we have Wille and Simon never crossing paths before they meet at this party Nils dragged Wille to. Oh, and Wille and Nils are best friends. The idea in that one was kind of to explore how differently Nils, Wille and Simon feel about things like casual sex, hooking up, having sex with friends etc. That was kind of the line I was balancing on there, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, platonic attraction, what would a close friendship between Nils and Wille look like, what happens if Wille, as he so often is, is immediately infatuated with Simon and then has to navigate what that means for the setting they're in. Writing and posting it was absolutely terrifying in some regards, but I'm still very proud of it and I love this version of them and. idk. Something about the different ways three very different queer men think about sex?? The differences in the way humans experience attraction? That was interesting to think and write about! I think the jury is definitely out if there was much of a different ship than wilmon going on there, it was just... platonic Wille & Nils there and. well. some sexual exploration. But you know! Maybe that's rare-ish?

Which... okay, there's maybe one rarepair that I do think is quite interesting and that I have a vague idea of maaaaybe exploring in the future. And 90% of the reason why I'd even think about it is actually working on that fic above!

I really like thinking about Wille and Nils as friends, first and foremost, and, in a universe in which Wille doesn't meet Simon at school, sort of the lone two queer men in the weird, weird environment that is Hillerska. There was a sort of blink-and-you-miss-it moment in One, two, three where I referred to a situation where a younger version of Wille and Nils had a drunk and bad-feelings-fuelled make-out-session on Wille's birthday (I'm gonna put the snippet below a cut at the bottom of this ask). And I've kind of been thinking about that, like... Wille and Nils as this pair of friends who maybe bond over not quite knowing what to do about their queerness in an environment that is, in many ways, not very queer. I don't think there would be much profoundly romantic potential there, but I do think there could be another chance for an exploration of friendship, sexuality, what the hell are we even doing, trying things out only to realize, nope, we work as friends, but not quite like this.

So. Yeah. Nils x Wille, messy, fish-out-of-water, queer friends who are just. there. and maybe try what it would be like to kiss. That's a (maybe?) rarepair I can actually see myself writing for!

Sorry for all the yapping, all this to say: Have I done rarepairs before? I don't think I qualify for this 😅 Would I write them? Iiiiiif one of my blorbos is involved... sure! That feels like a challenge I'd be up to! I would likely not write it the way I write wilmon, that is to say, I might write them exploring things, or being in pairs that don't... work out in a way that my wilmon usually do? Idk? God, I really am bad about this 😅 But yeah! Here's my messy thoughts on it! Thinking about this was very fun, thank you, anon 💜💜💜

where it (my interest in nille shenanigans) all started:

“Do you guys do that a lot?” Simon asks then, and Wille needs to physically blink to get his focus back on his face. “Huh?” “Make out with each other,” Simon starts, getting off the bed to pull down his pants. “And stuff?” Wille groans at the memory, while Nils lets out a laugh. “I think we were pretty hammered the last time we made out, weren’t we?” Nils asks, now also working on the buttons of his pants. Wille lets out another exaggerated groan. He was really fucking scared of having fucked things up back then. “That was a horrible birthday party,” is all he says while he shoves his own jeans down his thighs. Not his proudest moment, and certainly not Nils’ proudest moment either. He still can’t drink vodka without thinking back to it.

Nils only shrugs. “What do they call it? Trauma-bonding?” He throws Wille a wink. Wille shakes his head at him, lifting his knees to get the jeans fully down his legs. He’s very happy that they get to laugh it off these days. Back then, he really felt like he wasn’t going to ever be able to. But now, with all the paperwork through and the new freedom that comes with it, with some more distance between his younger, hopelessly overwhelmed self and himself now, it was kind of funny that he chose Nils of all people to have a stress-induced makeout-session with after getting drunk with him in his room. And it did lead to them growing a lot closer. “Just friends then?,” Simon asks, putting a gentle hand on Wille’s upper arm. Wille can’t fight the small jolt of electricity that sears through him at the careful, but oh so intentional, touch. you can read the whole story here

[mrsdickey]

intro post or something

❌ as a 20 year old, i do not want to interact with anyone under the age of 18. if you're a minor, please don't interact with me. i occasionally allude to and occasionally post (mostly soft) nsfw, and i feel that would be incredibly fucking weird and gross to expose a minor to that stuff. thanks for understanding !! i might also use offensive language, so please dni if it offends u. thanks!! 🤙 ❌

HI im pencerism,,, but you can refer to me as spencer!! i am 20 years old, my pronouns are he/him/she/her and i am bisexual

my art trades are open or uh something yeah

i dont do commissions nor requests and if you request me for something involving anything sexual or fetishy, i will block you. i dont fuck with people who involve others in their fetishes. keep that shit to yourself, thanks.

anyways im INCREDIBLY fucking shy, i dont really interact with people that much,,sorry if i dont interact with yall— it's nothing personal

i try to be the nicest i can but sometimes i can be a fucking bitch, sorry 😭🤞

((im kind of newish to actually posting here regularly, im not very experienced with how this shit works))

i love bill dickey so naturally i ship myself with him uhh,,

im kind of nonsharing. if you want to interact with me, you can. but please dont shove it in my face (haha). i personally dont really feel comfortable with seeing other bill ships. thanks.

hes so ugly but hes also so hot i want to punch him. and then kiss him jgjdjd

im a yumeshipper and my main ship is called geekgoth shipping (very creative i know) and my f/o is epilogue bill dickey

heres my geekgoth yumeship intro i got lazy sorry

anyways my main interest/hyper fixations are the eltingville club, evangelion (my favorite thing in the entire series is probably the end of evangelion holy shit peak cinema) and the legend of zelda (specifically totk and botw)

im genuinely so fucking obsessed with evangelion, the evangelion brainrot is in full swing lmao. i just dont post about it often, as i dont really see myself drawing it all that much. its just kinda in the background of my profiles loll 😭 every so often i might post something relating to it, but yeah if you fuck with evangelion and the eltingville club PLEASE fucking hmu

i also have chronic pokemon brainrot lmfao

i do have other interests but i dont really post about most of them im very devoted to posting about my husband bill

↓

digimon

jojo's bizarre adventure

devilman

attack on titan

hunter x hunter

danganronpa

final fantasy 7

smiling friends

gravity falls

i like making art.......my style is ambiguous, i can have slightly changing art styles lmfao,, i dont really know if i have a "main" art style?? heres some recent art or something

this is my cunt whore twat bitch eltingville persona spencer

and this is max, her ugly fucking greasy ass son with bill

DNI LIST:

- people who need trigger warnings. i do not put trigger warnings on my posts. i will not be censoring anything i say either. i wont put warnings on my posts unless they depicting/mentioning something in graphic detail.

- proship and all variants. self explanatory.

- minors. stated above, im 20 and i dont feel comfortable interacting with people under 18.

- doubles (idc if u ship bill with other characters but please dont involve me in any of it lmfao. it makes me personally feel uncomfortable and i dont want to see it. thanks)

- bigots

- problematic mdfs,

- anything political,,,i dont wanna talk about any of that shit on my blog. all im going to say is that im a left wing socialist and if that pisses u off please dont interact with me!

here is my discorduh add me please i need someone to yap about eltingville to (@mrs.dickey) (doubles and minors please don't add me lol)

im the type of person to update this post to be completely differently in the next like 3 months lmfao

thank you for listening to me yap about my crippling obsession with bill dickey 🙏

i was high asf while writing this sorry if it sounds dumb asf LMAO

[marvelous-llama]

MONSTA X recs

most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI

tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, so please reblog and comment under works you like. Show love to the authors and appreciate their hard work

<<next chapters

pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments

OT6

The Faculty by @iibonniee

The anti-love club by @dropsofletters

Public Adventures by @iibonniee

Neo Soeul series by @biffhofosho (Minhyuk, Hyungwon, Changkyun)

Monsta X Sleepy Morning Sex Wildcards by @muselin

fake dating by @taexual

one shots

Play It Cool by @btssmutgalore

Hyunwoo x fem!reader (wc - 13.5k) strangers to lovers fluff, smut After a rough breakup, Hyun-woo turned to Tinder for some fun. You, on the other hand, were trying to find a date for a family wedding. And then you matched.

Repair Work by @flurrys-creativity

Hyunwoo x fem!reader (wc - 1.6k) strangers to lovers - smut You totally forgot the appointment with the worker, who was supposed to change a device inside of your apartment. So when the door bell rang, you opened the door - barely dressed - which grabbed his attention.

More Than A Helping Hand by @sotteoks

Hyunwoo x fem!reader (wc - 6.9k) roommates to lovers, friends to lovers, university AU, rich kid!reader - fluff, smut your university roommate Hyunwoo is everything you wanted and then some.

series

one shots

series

one shots

Just Touch by @sotteoks

Kihyun x fem!reader (wc - 2.5k) fwb - angst, smut the boundaries of your relationship with Kihyun always seem to get a little blurry in the heat of the moment.

Forgive Me by @multiphandomunnies

Kihyun x fem!reader (wc - 0.9k) idol!Kihyun, established relationship - angst, fluff, smut

merry go ´round by @1-800-shedevil

Kihyun x fem!reader (wc - 1k) newlyweds AU - fluff, smut

fighting fire by @seungkwansphd

Kihyun x fem!reader (wc - 6.7k) enemies to lovers, grumpy/sunshine trope - angst, fluff, light smut you’re more than happy to tag along on your friends’ lake trip when a spot opens up, but the host is out to get you. 8am hikes and full days of activities? no, you have a book to read!

series

love is · · · by @jeonstellate

Kihyun x fem!reader mafia AU, arranged marriage - angst, fluff in a world where [first name] can only safely love one other person besides themselves, a simple favor changes everything.

one shots

a little jealousy by @lubbuub

Hyungwon x fem!reader (wc - 0.7k) friends to lovers? - smut

Circles of Marigolds by @thebiasrekkers

Hyungwon x fem!reader (wc - 16.8k) demon!Hyungwon, supernatural AU - angst, hurt/comfort, mature Hyungwon is a fiend whose cynicism has him trapped inside of an invisible prison. He’s only known those ruined walls for countless amounts of years. Resigning himself to his fate, a curious stranger appears and throws his world into a small bubble of controlled chaos.

Vixen by @biffhofosho

Hyungwon x OC (wc - 8.5k) strangers to lovers - smut Inside this room, he finds his doom.

A Shot Through the Heart by @biffhofosho

Hyungwon x fem!reader (wc - 17k) strangers to lovers, meet cute - fluff, smut, crack(ish) “You can’t catch feelings sucking tequila out of a stranger's bellybutton.”

series

bad news, good news & good news, bad news by @seungkwansphd

Hyungwon x fem!reader (wc - 2.9k + 5.4k) enemies > fwb > lovers, frat!Hyungwon, university AU - angst, smut, fluff after a breakup, you find yourself in the company of your self-proclaimed nemesis. you know as well as anyone that you two don’t get along, but your bodies have something different in mind.

middle of the night by @jooberry

Hyungwon x fem!reader (wc - 3.5k + 4.7k) fwb to lovers?, idol!Hyungwon - fluff, angst(ish), smut part 1, part 2

one shots

versace on the floor by @domjaehyun

Jooheon x fem!reader (wc - 1k) - smut

series

one shots

Pineapples by @taexual

Changkyun x fem!reader (wc - 3.3k) best friends to lovers - fluff Changkyun has had a crush on you for years but he was sort of terrible at flirting. And yet, who could have known that a debate on whether fruit belonged on pizza would finally lead to some long-overdue confessions?

tell me by @seungkwansphd

Changkyun x fem!reader (wc - 4.2k) fwb to lovers, mutual pining - fluff, angst, smut you and changkyun have been hooking up for a while now. both of you want more, but neither is willing to say it without some reassurance from the other end.

feel better by @moonhoures

Changkyun x fem!reader (wc - 2.1k) established relationship - fluff, smut

Drink You Deeply by @catkyunie

Changkyun x fem!reader (wc - 4.8k) mafia AU - smut The tension has been building for weeks between Changkyun and the boss of their little syndicate. Stolen glances, timed brushes in passing. Finally, the tension snaps.

Waiting For You by @prettywordsyouleft

Changkyun x fem!reader (wc - 2.9k) friends to lovers, mutual? pining - angst, fluff

series

[natureless-creatures]

This is a really different post for my blog, so feel free to skip, but-

No one seems to really talk about just how lonely having DID/OSDD is because. Well. Literally no one except systems seem to understand us, or indeed WANT to understand us, and it's such an isolating feeling.

I don't even feel connected to other systems, I don't feel like I'm part of them a lot of the time due to having a covert system (and feeling fake) and I'll forget entirely that I have DID until it's really inconvenient. Like one alter will start a conversation and then someone else will switch in and I'll be accused of lying about something I said earlier and I can't exactly explain to my friends that that is another person's opinion and I had no idea that they'd said that without sounding entirely insane. It's just. Man. This disorder is fucking rough.

It's so much easier to find people who will relate to depression, to anxiety, to PTSD, hell AuDHD (which I'm so glad more people are talking about now!!), but the disorders that are heavily stigmatized like DID, BPD, schizophrenia and cluster B disorders to name a few are so... rarely talked about in a positive light. It's super isolating and lonely when so many people are scared of your disorder to the point where they outright don't believe it's real, or refuse to learn about it, and it's so much easier to hide it and pretend it's not real.

Anyway if any systems want to talk to me pls hmu, my dms are always open and you (and I) are not alone <33

I'll also add I'm really happy to answer any questions about DID from my lived experience, we only got diagnosed earlier this year and it's been a ride to have your entire worldview turned upside down --so please send me stuff !

[deduction-substitute]

im making an idv oc that has an identity switch.. the concept for the hunter came super easy but trying to figure out the survivors abilities is Killing me (i want them to be a decoder) ((its so hard to make an interesting decoder because decoding in general is pretty boring AUGHURHS)) pls save me im dying.

this rant comes bc i saw your oc posts and i want to know everything abt them Please

HI HELLO sorry this is super late...if you already have it figured out dont mind me..heh. BUTTTTT IM ALWAYS FREE TO DM OR WHATEVA...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE thinking of skills and abilities and and everything for idv ocs because of how. Hard it is to do. Like bro i havent even finished my own oc's IVE ONLY DOEN DEBUFFS FOR LETHA

But when it comes to decoder ocs, I think one thing that could help is to observe the decoders we already have and kind of like. Separate the abilities by how it assists their decoding, DOESNT assist their decoding, or skills that are completely unrelated to decoding.

A good example of this I'd say is Luca Balsa and Freddy Riley IM NOT BIASED TOWARDS THE LAWYER WHAT.

Luca's abilities tie into his decoding, even his stupid stun because of the electrical area (that only appears when he conencts two ciphers and starts decoding one of them) that slowly recharges it. ALSO note that Luca's whole electricity skill comes from his background too, so you could also think of something from your oc's background that can help you make up an ability!

Freddy on the other hand has skills that dont necessarily have to be tied into his decoding!! Like how vaulting different windows and running around the map increases his speed for those certain actions, then decoding gradually increases his decoding speed too. None of those skills assist his teammates if ykwim.

Compare it to Luca, who can transmit decoding progress to your cipher, or use his stun to help kites or balloon rescue (even if the stun's for a short while).

After that, decide if you want your decoder to just simply be a decoder or a hybrid! Decoder-Assist and all that. I do believe that a Decoder-Rescue is not a possible hybrid because their weaknesses contradict each other. There's no Decoder-Contain, and while I also believe its not a possible hybrid, its more reasonable. Things like Freddy's increasing movement/vaulting speed or Composer's tuning fork are abilities that lowkey fall under the contain category as it has nothing to do with decoding

But really, it also depends on what kind of character you have!! There are certain traits that are similar in everything but name, example being Antiquarian and Acrobat's traits that reduce their gate-opening speed, named "Old Wounds" and "Half-hearted" respectively because of their personality/background.

YEAH UHHH TLDR: Hybrid or plain decoder survivor? Will their personality/background also affect their abilities/traits? Organize their traits on how they assist/have nothing to do with their decoding.

SORRYYY this post is too long to talk about my oc now...send another ask if u want heh...BUT LIKE. ANYONE WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THEIR IDV OC ABILITIES OR WHATEVA JUST NEEDING ASSISTANCE...HMU...

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hi! i'm, f, 22. looking for 21+ yr old literate creative minds in the mood for something horror-filled, something dark and angsty/anguish-y! gritty psychological!! toxic, destructive, no good dynamics!! on the run with no concern about who strays in their path!!

!!!!!!!!!!!! (almost) any thing !!!!!!!!!!!!

I have some plots of my own, but would love to brainstorm something new. all I ask is to not come to me with detective, zombie* apocalypse, or vampire plots </3

✱i'm open to any gender pairing! oc x oc. ✱spiciness welcomed. ~15/85 smut/plot ratio. plz nothing real nasty. ✱minimal triggers, lets discuss in DMs.

the two plots below is what i'm itching to do. but I have an array of other dark plots in an amino blog. happy to direct you to browse them!

. . .

cult, horror/supernatural | any x any

premise takes places before the turn of the century (1900s? 2000s? 2100?). we play as pre-established cult members, who are well acquainted and very much embrace the ways of the organization. their doctrine states that all members are to quit their worldly jobs and live off of the land on remote communal compound in the desert. from sunrise to sunset, they are tasked to perform a number of rituals to appease their god(s). ( can get as dead dove-y as you'd like! )

after roleplaying out their routine for a bit to set the tone, we can introduce a new recruit, X, to the family. they have to go through some bizarre, torturous ritual to be initiated. but they never tap out -- they pass, and are accepted with open arms.

as they settle into the family, our characters grow suspicious of X and their true motives in joining. real world manifestations plague the compound because of X's impure intent, subtle at first.

intensity increasing as X steadily manipulates the cult leader to stray from their doctrine in a multitude of ways and then ultimately convinces them participate in human sacrifice.

but what do our charas do about it? from here the plot can diverge into many different avenues! I have a few ideas of my own!

. . .

piracy, action, supernatural(?), experimentation violence | g x g

premise takes place in 1690, the chaos of piracy destructfully plaguing Western Europe. it was a popular profession because the high-risk high-rewards of the game was enticing to most young men of boring coastal towns. but for women, unless they had a decent father or a brother that stuck around, they were recruited for servitude or [to work the late night docks, if you will]

our characters got pushed out their homes because they were unmarried at undesirable ages and generated no income. they were left no choice but to dedicate themselves to a predatory brothel that service the small port town's visitors.

OR instead of a brothel, we could make them be indentured servants to a cruel scientist/witch that performs inhumane experiments on them. ( keeping the science relevant to 1600s-1700s grasp of medicine )

one of our characters proposes after awhile when their final straw has been broken to escape their situation. their options? venture into the mainlands, or test their luck with the open seas?

but their curiosities wondered after each continual night of their humanity being stripped from them, to what extent was it really that dangerous?

how will the girls plan their escape, how and to what lengths will they go to defeminate themselves to blend in with the crew,

and ultimately how far will they survive in this pirate lifestyle?

. . .

but also… an offhand request, but if you have any lethally cruel criminal oc and want to rp out their crimes, hmu :eyes: (dw, no uwusoftsub type shi)

. . .

if you've made it this far, but aren't feeling these two specific plots, i gotchu. happy to brainstorm! work with me to keep it interesting!

✱need a partner who doesn't mind playing throwaway characters or major side characters when relevant, won't be all the time. ✱don't be afraid to speak your mind on any plot adjustments, criticisms, anything! ✱please be proficient in english, roleplay in the third person, with great grammar and proper capitalization. ✱i write in the range of 150-3,000 words per reply, so NO one liners. ✱a MINIMUM of one paragraph (5+ sentences) per reply. don't make the minimum a habit, please. ✱be alright with reply times spanning from 2-5 days!!! ✱plot on tumblr, roleplay on discord only.

✱will contact through likes!

interact and the poster will reach out!