#if you think it’s bad on tumblr….it ain’t.
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Bruh, anonymous posters in dog Facebook groups are buck wild….
#dogblr#if you think it’s bad on tumblr….it ain’t.#who the fuck still goes ahead with a puppy purchase under a breeding contract#with a breeder that 1.) doesn’t take their puppies to the vet but 2.) you as a fellow breeder did not ask about their veterinary practices#anyways. breeding is a money risk even if done right#people need to realize there could be years of you thinking a dog is in your program#but if their genetic and joint tests come back wrong? you are out money#if their temperament doesn’t turn out? you are out money#if that dog has an issue with their heat cycles? you are out money#if that dogs balls don’t descend properly you are out money#it is not about money
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To Have a Crush: Savanaclaw
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a872bc57f533ad9b85cde6d349b87b17/25314e95b0db391c-e1/s540x810/24894d34c9717b0032566f0972325cdee778551f.jpg)
Warning(s): Gender-neutral reader, not proof-read, OOC
Notes: Procrastination hit me hard…also I did not expect to spend an hour finding decent enough emoticons for them. May just switch to regular bullet point style someday since I’m still trying to figure out what format I like(╥_╥). Never realized how hard it was to make a pretty format on tumblr until now. Also I’ve gotten pretty rusty too but my schedule has finally cleared up a bit so I’ll be able to be a little more active now!
Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia | Special
Leona Kingscholar
𓄂 A crown of love that the king wears. A herbivore was all you were to him. Another nameless face in the faceless crowd of people who he couldn’t care less about in the grand scheme of things. That’s how it was supposed to stay…until it didn’t. The proud lion will never admit this (or at least not anytime soon) but that day where you, a weak and stupidly stubborn human, stood your ground among all the dust and debris was both one of the most frustrating experiences in his life and also the first time he ever thought of you as ‘strong’. Every so often he thinks back to that moment and sighs before pulling you towards him to lay on the grass.
𓄂 A king should always be accompanied by his retainers. However, he’s not king and you’re definitely not his retainer. Just a stubborn herbivore who happened to catch his eye, that’s all. You’re not that great as an errand runner either but it’s better than just one. A help that Ruggie greatly appreciates but occasionally complains about how you always take the lighter load. Don’t think much about it, he just doesn’t want you messin’ up or anythin’. Strangely, whenever you do run errands for him, there’s conviently always an extra that he gives to you. Reasoning to you that the King of Beasts would’ve done the same thing to those under his care. The proud lion knows this is a lie he can’t keep using to play off what he feels inside. Not when his own ears and tail betray him.
𓄂 Tch, well this is embarrassing.
𓄂 Maybe it was a good thing that Leona already knew. From the moment his tail unconsciously wrapped around you, he knew what his heart was telling him as it beat in his chest. There, with you and him napping underneath the shade of a tree, he realized he had fallen in love. He didn’t know whether he should’ve laughed or cursed the world so he chose to do neither instead. Gently brushing a stray leaf off that had fallen on your face, he chuckled. Guess something like love ain’t all that bad.
𓄂 A crownless lion who’s more hated than loved and a visitor from a place far from here. An interesting duo you two make as he pulls you yet again away from class to nap in the shade with him. His attempts at catching your heart aren’t too noticeable, only noticed by the keenest of eyes. He’ll never be the ideal partner, that he acknowledges despite his pride. But being sappy and overly romantic isn’t his style. That’s why, he’ll win your heart in his own way. A path perhaps not that of a king, but of a man in-love. The prideful lion may not bow his head to no one, but for you he’ll take a knee.
“Huh, well aren’t you gettin’ bolder? I didn’t think you’d beat me to it.”
Ruggie Bucchi
シ Hidden amidst the dirt and grime was love. It’s ingrained into Ruggie to look after people but he’s learnt to not let it be given without a price. Outside of his family and Leona, the latter of whom was more so to help his own skin, he didn’t exactly feel any desire or need to look after you. Sure he felt pity, after all you’re in a tighter spot than him in the world, but aside from that you were just an after thought. Nobody of note that could be beneficial to him in any way. That was until Leona overbloted and well…he’s somewhat grateful that you don’t have much of a survival instinct. You’re a real goody two-shoes aren’t you? Still, he’s thankful that you’re the way that you are. Hyenas never forget a debt and this one he owes to you alone.
シ It really just started off with it being to repay his debt to you. Sure it’s not much but he can’t really do anything fancy like paying you millions of madols or giving you land. That’s why, the hyena has chosen to pay it back his own way. Simple as it may be, it’s all he really has to offer. It’s not like watching your back is gonna cause him anymore work than he’s already got. Soon enough, he found himself doing more than what he intended to. Giving parts of his lunch to you, claiming he didn’t feel like it or there was extra. Stopping during his errands whenever he spotted you to have a quick chat before going off again with slightly more enthusiasm than before. Or heck, sparing you a few madols so you can get what you need. It’s kinda a loss but he just can’t seem to make himself stop. Not when you smile at him so brightly.
シ Wait a minute.
シ Nah…nahh he can’t seriously be in love with you or somethin’, right? Being close to you is just to pay off his debt, not cause he actually likes your company or anything, right?? But as his eyes catch his reflection on the window panes of the college, he can no longer deny the blush on his face or the rapid beating of his heart as the thought of you runs rampant in his mind once again. Well, guess there’s no point in fidgeting around anymore.
シ He’s not much, really he ain’t. Ruggie knows he won’t hold a candle to anyone else in the school in terms of magic or madol but what he does have is his smarts. In his own way, he’ll try and appeal to you. Sometimes he’s confident, other times he feels like he wants to die from how embarrassing it must’ve looked. Still, he tries and tries and tries. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, you’ll choose him buried underneath piles of trash.
“You-…you’re really choosing me?”
Jack Howl
ᴥ︎ Love that resounds throughout the night. A team up was all Jack figured it’d be. An agreement to right the wrongs and set things straight so that one day, once more, Savanaclaw would be able to say from the bottom of their hearts that they won. Nothing big enough to lead into the friendship that came to be between you and him. Well then things took a turn for the worse and then the better and well…he’s sure you get it. An accident, a friendship, a bond, whatever it is, the stubborn wolf has decided that he’ll have your back. No matter what and no matter where, he’ll help you out.
ᴥ︎ Respect was all it was. A respect towards a magicless human who proved their own strength by courageously standing in the face of death. Not everyone has a spirit like that and the wolf beastman couldn’t help but look at that and think ‘Ah, now that’s strength’. In doing so, he wanted to be respected by you too. That’s why, when he could, he’d wait outside Ramshackle and walk with you to your classes, carrying your books and providing an umbrella if it’s a rainy day. Need help on the homework? He won’t tell you the answers but he’ll help you figure it out at least. Like working out? Great! He’s more than willing to provide some tips and tricks to achieving the goal you want. Well it wasn’t until Ruggie teased him about how much more happy he seemed doing all that stuff for you that it finally clicked for him. This…isn’t good.
ᴥ︎ D-don’t misunderstand him!
ᴥ︎ Actually no, maybe you should— wait no you shouldn’t! Jack doesn’t know how to feel about…this now that he fully recognizes it. Well- he does, in a way, it’s just…complicated. To be honest, he did have a suspicion that his feelings of respect towards you had turned into something deeper. How fast his tail wagged whenever you were nearby, how he wanted to put even more effort into whatever he was doing when you were watching, how red his face turned whenever he took a ‘secret’ glance in your direction, it really was way too obvious looking back on it.
ᴥ︎ Wolf-type beastmen only have one partner for the rest of their lives. Dedicating themselves entirely to whoever their partner may be. Jack always dreamed of finding his one true partner, he just never expected it to happen so soon. Yes, a crush to him counts as his one true love as childish as it may be. With exactly zero romantic experience under his belt and only equipped with the knowledge of the multiple times his parents told him their love story, he attempts to appeal to you. Surprisingly, for a first timer in love, they’re all thought out and not embarrassing. Jack isn’t good at hiding how feels about you in front of you or anyone else, but it has a certain charm to it. The charm of an adolescent boy in love who cares for you quietly, unable to hide how he feels, as his heart and tail follow the same beat.
“..Phew, you’re here. Prefect, I—uh need to tell you something.”
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst imagines#twst x reader#twst leona#leona kingscholar#leona kingsholar x reader#twst ruggie#ruggie bucchi#ruggie bucci x reader#twst jack#jack howl#jack howl x reader#Tbh I don’t have a full grasp on their personalities but I hope with more experience it’ll get better#Sorry (メ﹏メ) but I hope you all have fun reading!
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Stranger in a Bar - Part Two
You realize your hookup from the night before is your dad's best friend. Life goes on from there. The conclusion of Stranger in a Bar, found on Tumblr here.
Pairing: DBF!Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: This is smut, OK? Just a lot of smut. Protected P in V sex. Oral sex (f receiving). Age gap of 20 years. Breeding kink if you squint. Talk of pregnancy. ANGST BECAUSE IT'S ME. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.
Length: 10.6k
AO3 | Fic Masterlist | Masterlist | Part One
“She hasn’t been home in so long,” your father was smiling proudly, seemingly oblivious to the way Joel was looking at you.
It had never occurred to him that he’d never seen a picture of his friend’s daughter. He’d heard about you, of course. How your parents had gone to Tennessee for your college graduation, how you’d gotten a job in Memphis, how you only really came to visit about once a year and that meant your dad was busy that week.
“Heard a lot about you,” Joel said when he realized your dad had gone quiet. “Good to… put a face to the name. Or, maybe, idea? Don’t think your dad ever mentioned your name…”
“May not have,” he laughed, clapping Joel on the shoulder. Joel still couldn’t take his eyes off you. Fuck, this was bad. “To me, she’s just my little princess…”
“Honey,” your mom appeared at your dad’s side, looping her arm through his. “Can I steal you for just a minute?”
“Sure,” he gave her hand a squeeze before looking between you and Joel. “Keep her outta trouble, will ya? Have fun!”
Joel more sensed them leave than watched them, his eyes locked on yours. He was pretty sure they were out of earshot when you spoke.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“‘Fraid not,” Joel said, his eyes drifting down over your body before he could really help himself. Your dress fit you perfectly, highlighting your every soft curve. He knew just what you looked like below it, just how smooth your skin was, just how you would taste. “You look… fuck, you look gorgeous.”
Your eyebrows shot up.
“Are you…” You closed your eyes and shook your head. “Never mind. This isn’t happening. This cannot be happening.”
“It’s not…” he finally managed to look away from you to glance around at the people around the two of you. None of them seemed to be paying attention. He lowered his voice, anyway. “It’s not that bad…”
“Not that bad?” You cut him off. “Are you… Jesus, come on.”
You looked around, too, before grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the tent and toward the house. He just trailed along behind you, fighting the urge to smile while keeping an eye out for your parents. Because the last thing he wanted to do was explain to your father what he was doing, following wherever you led.
And he did follow you - happily - into the house he’d been in plenty of times as a dinner guest or for Super Bowl parties or to help your father put together a new piece of furniture for your mother. You dragged him along to the sizable storage room off the garage and locked the door behind you before turning and staring daggers at him.
“Not that bad?” You asked, brows raised so high they threatened to disappear into your hairline. “Not that bad? You’re my dad’s best friend! I didn’t even know he had one of those until this afternoon and I -” you looked around, as though someone might have been lurking, and lowered your voice to a harsh whisper “fucked him before I knew he existed! How is this not that bad?”
“You in the habit of telling your daddy everyone you sleep with?” Joel asked, hands in his pockets. “Because I ain’t one to kiss and tell.”
“This is a joke to you, isn’t it,” you crossed your arms, clearly pissed. But the effect was lessened a bit by the way your angry pants and fierce stance made your breasts swell and fuck, but you were pretty. “What, you make a habit of fucking women young enough to be your friend’s daughter?”
“No,” Joel said with a shrug. “Don’t make a habit of fucking anyone, really. Told you, I’m outta practice. And… well, can’t say I’ve ever… well…”
“Ever?” Your eyebrows somehow got higher.
“Ever been with someone as young as you,” he said, his cheeks getting hot at the shame of that. “Didn’t set out to, either. Not until I saw you.”
You relaxed a little then, your brows returning to a much more natural position on your face.
“I didn’t go to that bar looking for someone,” he continued. “And I sure as shit never go chasing after women half my age. Sure as shit ain’t proud I did it last night, either. But… can’t say I really care much about any of that. I don’t care that you’re too young for me, don’t care that you live hundreds of miles away, don’t even care that you’re my best friend’s kid. Lord knows I should care about all that but I don’t. All I really care about in all that is you.”
Your eyes searched his for a moment, like you were trying to tell if he was lying or not. You stepped closer to him and he resisted the urge to touch you, the pull stronger than he remembered it being in the past. He wasn’t sure if it was because it had been years since he’d been with someone, if it was because he could tell from the first moment he saw you that you were special, if it was because sex with you was the best he’d ever had. But, he supposed, it didn’t really matter. Not when you were this close, in that dress, when he could still remember how you tasted on his tongue. He knew he should give a shit, he knew he should at least do your father the courtesy of feeling bad but all he could feel was the drive to touch you - taste you - again.
You held his gaze until your lips were so close to his your noses brushed and he kissed you then, your mouth so plush and soft on his.
It had been so long since Joel had done anything like this. He hadn’t exactly dated much when his daughter was at home. He tried, a bit, when she was in her teens but he ended up wishing he was spending time with her instead of trying to get to know someone he only had a passing interest in.
When Sarah moved out to go to college - not community college anymore but Texas A&M - he didn’t have the same excuse anymore. But, when he tried to meet someone then, he found himself trying to force connections with women. They had little in common with him, they wanted different things out of life, they were just interested in things he couldn’t offer. After a few, unsatisfying and brief relationships - if you could even call them that - he’d given up on it. His life was meant to be quiet and lonely. He had Sarah and that was more than enough, even if she lived in Dallas now. He was fine with it. Happy, even.
And then, there you were, so beautiful in that bar, something about you pulling him in. He couldn’t help but go up to you, couldn’t help but talk to you for hours, couldn’t help but walk you back to your hotel, couldn’t help but kiss you back in that elevator.
He couldn’t help but kiss you now.
His hands went to your waist, slipping over your sides to your back, spreading wide over you to hold as much of you as he could, pulling your body against his own. You moaned softly into his mouth and put your arms around his neck when he did and he could feel every line of you against him, could remember just what those lines felt like when there was nothing between you.
If he was in his own head enough, he would have been embarrassed about just how fast he got hard against you, embarrassed about how quickly he gave in to the urge to grind his cock into you while remembering just what it felt like to be buried inside of you. But he couldn’t bring himself to give a fuck about anything beyond just how good you felt pressed all tight and desperate against him.
He guided you back until your ass was against a stack of plastic storage tubs, bins labeled with things like “Christmas” and “Halloween” that he’d helped your dad haul into the living room when your mom was ready to change the decor around the house. Your hands left him for a moment and you pulled yourself on top of the top bin, putting your hips at the same height as Joel’s own. You spread your legs wide and pulled him into you, grinding your pussy against his cock through his jeans and he had to fight not to come then and there. Your arms went back around his neck and your kiss grew messy, the both of you fighting to devour the other. Joel’s mouth slid over your lips to your chin, down your jaw to your throat and you moaned, arching your back. His hands moved to your thighs, forcing your skirt up and out of the way until your slick-soaked panties were pressed against his fly.
“Fuck, Joel,” you panted softly, grinding that hot little pussy over his still clothed length. His hands skimmed over your sides to find your breasts, cupping the full, soft warmth of you there. Your fingers sank into his back, nails digging into him. “Please…”
“Not a good idea,” he said, kissing back up your neck, leaving his mouth against the tender skin at the base of your ear. “Don’t got a condom.”
He nipped your lobe and kissed over your cheek toward your mouth again.
“I don’t care,” you said, breathless. “I don’t care, I just need you, fuck, please, please…”
He groaned. He should resist you. He should, he knew better. But the way you tasted, the way you felt against him, just the thought of being inside you with nothing between you and him was making his head swim.
“Don’t think I’ll be able to pull out, baby,” he said, kissing you all wet and sloppy and without control. “You felt too damn good with somethin’ on, I can’t…”
“I don’t care,” you said again, pulling back from him just enough to look in his eyes, reaching your hand up to card your fingers through his graying hair. Your skin was almost glowing in the dim light, your eyes ranging over him, pupils blown. “I want you, please, Joel.”
“Jesus,” he breathed, reaching quickly down to unbuckle his belt and open his pants. He pulled his cock free, his head swollen and leaking. He stroked himself - not that it offered any relief and it wasn’t possible to make him any harder - with one hand and watched with hungry eyes as he traced the the seam of you through your wet panties with the other, the fabric clinging to the plush softness of you. He couldn’t help but groan a little as he tucked the cotton to the side, revealing you all plump and dripping for him.
He watched, his breath shaky, as he moved closer, trailing his cock head over your slit before slipping just inside your entrance. He just stood there for a moment, his heart beating out a frantic rhythm against his ribs, looking at where he was starting to disappear into you and he was mesmerized by it. The way you had to stretch to take even just the head of him, the way you took him so well anyway, the way you felt inside, the heat of you on his skin.
“Joel,” you whimpered, your hand clutching onto his bicep, his shirt twisting in your fingers.
“Baby,” his voice was rough, raspy. He’d be embarrassed about how needy he sounded if he could bring himself to give a shit about anything but how you felt inside. “Fuck, you already feel fuckin’ incredible and I’m not even really inside you yet…”
He finally pulled his eyes away from where the two of you met to find your face, your eyes so wide and pleading. He took you in his hand, his thumb on your cheek, your fingers reaching back to grip tight to your neck, holding you just so. You stretched to kiss him but he kept you in place, your eyebrows drawing together as you moaned in protest.
“Gotta be quiet, pretty girl,” he whispered. “And sit still, just let me look at you.”
He watched you closely as pressed into you, your breath hitching as he parted your inner walls, your tight, wet heat gripping him and he savored every needy expression that crossed your face. You were so beautiful like this, your mouth open in a silent gasp, eyes wide, looking like you were enjoying him almost as much as he was enjoying you.
Because there was no possible way it could be equal, there was no way he felt as good as you did. You’d felt fucking exquisite with a condom on the night before, it had only taken Joel a second inside you to decide that this could not be a one time thing. He couldn’t feel something that good only once in his life, he’d spend the rest of his years searching for it otherwise. It was the cherry on top of the perfection that seemed to be you, someone he wanted to spend hours upon hours talking with and hours upon hours looking at. The way your body took him into yourself, the way you pulsed around him when you came, the way you were so goddamn soft inside. How was he supposed to just walk away from that?
But, as Joel’s cock was buried inside you to the root, he realized that nothing - absolutely fucking nothing - compared to being inside you bare. He could feel you so clearly like this, every ridge of muscle, every little gush of come as you made a mess of his cock. You were so fucking tight he wondered how he’d even fit inside you. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt anything quite as warm and soft as you and he knew he’d never felt quite so close to anyone like he did you in that moment.
“Goddamn baby,” he breathed, his eyes locked on yours, not moving from his place inside you.
“Joel,” you whispered before looking down to where your bodies where joined and groaning when you did.
“Gotta stay quiet, pretty girl,” he said softly, wrapping an arm around you, his hand splaying wide over the small of your back. He held you in place and ground himself deeper into you, making you whimper.
“Fuck me,” you panted, desperate. “Please Joel, I need you to move, I need you to fuck me, please…”
He crumbled under your pleas, pulling back from you agonizingly slowly so that he could feel every part of you clinging to him before thrusting back inside you in one devastating go. You moaned as he did, loud enough that he was worried someone might hear. He kissed you to keep you quiet and your arms went around his neck, your fingers digging into him as you clung to him. But he couldn’t keep kissing you forever, not when the drive to fuck you harder was so strong, and he had to separate from you to gasp for breath as his cock plunged into you again and again. You moaned, desperate and needy and uncontrolled and Joel couldn’t even consider stopping to keep you quiet. Instead, he pulled you tight to him, tucking your head against his shoulder so your sounds were muffled by his body.
“Said you gotta keep quiet baby,” he whispered in your ear, fucking into you. “Fuck… you feel too damn good, won’t be able to stop just because someone comes in.”
Your muffled moans grew louder and you clutched onto him and he held you closer, tighter, the sharp snap of his hips never slowing or even stuttering. He felt like a man possessed as he savored the hot clutch of you. He’d never needed to fuck someone like this, never wanted to live inside another person like this. How was he supposed to move on from this, from you? When he’d never found anything that made him feel like this, so obsessed he couldn’t keep himself from fucking you hard and fast and unprotected under your father’s roof.
His orgasm was building fast, faster than he really wanted it to. There was the nagging thought at the back of his mind - the last part of him that seemed to exist outside the sphere of your influence - that he should pull out at the very least. He didn’t know if you were on the pill but part of him didn’t fucking care. Part of him wanted to fill you up and take everything that came with it, as long as he got to keep coming in you again and again the rest of it didn’t matter.
You started mumbling into his shoulder, your words incoherent around the fabric of his shirt and the bulk of his body and he pulled your head back just enough that he could make out what you were saying, just “I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come” over and over and over and the sound went straight to his cock.
He felt it then, you drawing so tight around him, the sensation intimately familiar after the night before, and then you exploded around him, throbbing hard and full, damn near pulling his own orgasm out of his body as he groaned against you. He didn’t do the smart thing, he didn’t pull out. Instead, he reveled in the feeling as he came deep inside you, buried to the root .
“Fuck, Joel,” you panted against him as your climax eased, sounding closer to sane now than you had the last few minutes.
“I know, baby,” he said, breathless too, still deep within you. You pulled back from him ever so slightly, your eyes wide as they searched his face, your lipstick smeared over your skin.
“Fuck, Joel,” you said again, but different this time, an edge of panic in your voice. You put your hand to his chest, leaning back from him and looking down to where you were still joined. “What the fuck did we just do?”
“Nothin’ bad…” he said quietly but you looked back to him, your gaze fiery now. He pulled out of you slowly, reluctantly, and tucked himself away.
“Nothing bad?” You asked, brows raised. “We just fucked in my parents’ house! I barely fucking know you and you just… I just begged you to… Jesus Christ…”
Joel winced at that.
“I can go get you one of those pills…” he said weakly. He hoped that was the right thing to say in a moment like this one. He hadn’t been in this position in so long, he wasn’t the type to just randomly fuck a woman and he sure as hell wasn’t the type to do so with no regard for the consequences. He’d learned that lesson well enough in his youth. Here he was, middle aged and fucking you like some teenager in heat, sneaking around behind your parents’ backs.
“What?” You shook your head once, sharply, like you were trying to shake him from your mind. “No, I have an IUD, but I don’t know you, you could have… I don’t fucking know, herpes or something!”
Joel almost laughed. Not that anything about this was actually funny but it was… something.
“I don’t got anything like that,” Joel said. “You’re safe, promise.”
You looked to jump down from your perch on the storage bins but slipped a hand down between your legs first and groaned before looking around.
“Do you see any paper towel or anything?” You asked, holding your hand covered in his come and yours in front of you, your combined slick pearly on your fingers.
Joel swallowed.
“No,” he said. “But… here…”
He untucked his shirt and nudged your legs wider apart, forcing your dress further up your thighs, revealing your slit to him. He resisted the urge to groan at the sight, his spend leaking from you because he’d left it deep inside…
He shook himself mentally and took the hem of his button down shirt, pressing it to your dripping hole, cleaning you gently. You leaned back on your hands and he could feel your eyes on him as he delicately ran the fabric over your soft skin. He was about to step back when he heard you moan, needy and wanting, and he realized he could see your clit, swollen and peeking out from your wet sex.
“Fuck,” you breathed and he looked up to your face. Your eyes were closed, your mouth open in pleasure.
“You like that?” He asked, his voice heavier than he’d meant it to be. Fuck, he shouldn’t be doing this. But you nodded, quick and desperate, and he couldn’t resist. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you.”
He knelt in front of you, looping his arms around your knees and pulling you sharply to the front edge of the storage bin before licking a hesitant stripe from your entrance to your sensitive nub. You groaned at that and he saw your fingers curl around the edge of the bin, knuckles tight.
“Fuck, don’t stop,” you panted and he smiled a little before diving into your pussy like a man starved.
He licked and sucked and ate at you, his tongue delving into your tight channel, his nose pressed against your swollen clit, his fingers pressing tightly into the meat of your thighs. Your hand flew to his hair, knotting and tangling in his curls, your nails digging into his scalp as you ground your hips against his face. You were moaning louder and he knew he should give a fuck, try to keep you quiet while he worked you to yet another orgasm in your father’s house, but he just didn’t care. All he cared about was making you come so hard you damn near took off his tongue.
He didn’t need to wait long, your pussy growing tighter and tighter until you cried out, your hips pressed against him and he savored the way your body clutched onto him as you came. Your channel pulsed hard and strong and he drank down your slick, not caring that it mingled with his own come from just a few minutes before.
Joel waited until your climax eased before he pulled his tongue from your body, pressing a lingering kiss over the top of your slit, making you groan.
“Holy shit,” you panted and he got to his feet in front of you, wiping his mouth awkwardly with the back of his wrist.
“Sorry,” he said, glancing quickly at your still slightly swollen sex. It was no longer dripping, at least. “That… that ain’t what I’d set out to do…”
“Never apologize for that,” you said, sitting up properly this time. You slipped off the storage bin. You rearranged your underwear below your dress before adjusting the hem, looking down at yourself like you were trying to make sure you didn’t look like you’d just been fucked within an inch of your life.
“Here,” Joel said, thankful that his shirt was black so your lipstick that was undoubtably on his shoulder wouldn’t show. He took the cuff that hadn’t wiped your slick from his face and carefully cleaned your smeared lipstick from your skin. “Sorry, didn’t mean to do that, either…”
“It’s not your fault,” you said, crossing your arms and looking him up and down. “I was literally begging for it. There’s just something about you… but that’s why we can’t do this, Joel. You’re my dad’s best friend, he’d never forgive us for this. We have to pretend like this never happened. Not tonight, not last night, none of it.”
He just watched you for a moment. Part of him knew you were right. You were right for more reasons than just that, too. He hadn’t really dated in years, he hadn’t been in a good place to do it in ages and he sure as hell wasn’t in a place to date someone as young as you. You’d want things out of life that he was long past, things he could never give you. He should know better than this.
But that didn’t change the fact that he wanted you. He wanted to fuck you again, yeah, but he also wanted to get to know you, to make you dinner and take you to the beach and kiss you at midnight on New Year’s Eve. You’d woken something up in him that he didn’t know he still had, something he thought had died along with his youth years before. Wasn’t something like you worth risking a friendship for? Even one like the one he had with your father?
“We have to stay away from each other the rest of the night,” you said. “Alright?”
He looked at you for a moment, at the drawn expression on your face.
“Yeah,” he said after the silence hung in the air a bit too long. “Yeah, alright.”
The two of you made your way back toward the celebration, thankfully no one in the house to have heard the sounds he pulled form you, anyway. Joel tried not to stare at you the rest of the night but he found himself keenly aware of where you were all the time, anyway. He knew where you were and who you were with and just how far he’d have to move to pull you into his arms and kiss you.
“Joel!” His friend clapped him on the shoulder as he sat at a table, drinking a beer and trying to not pay attention to where you were - something he was failing at because, at the moment, you were standing by your mother and your sister near the buffet. “Havin’ a nice time?”
“Oh, yeah,” Joel cleared his throat awkwardly as he sat beside him. “It’s a great party. Y’all deserve it, too, hell of an accomplishment, puttin’ up with each other that long…”
“Tell me about it,” he laughed. “God, sometimes… See you didn’t bring a date, was hopin’ you’d be out on the dance floor with some lucky lady at least a little bit.”
“Yeah, well,” Joel shrugged. “Don’t really got anyone to bring to someone like this and…”
“Still,” he cut Joel off. “Should get out there… Princess! C’mere!”
He raised his hand and flagged you down and Joel stiffened. Your eyes darted from his to your father’s before you made your way across the tent, your hands in fists at your sides.
“You really don’t need to…” Joel began but your father cut him off again.
“S’no trouble,” he said. “It’ll be good for her, too. Tells her mama everything, hasn’t had a boyfriend in who knows how long, she needs to do a little dancing…”
“Yes, Dad?” You asked, steadfastly ignoring Joel.
“Do me a favor, Princess, and get this old man on the dance floor, would ya?” He clapped Joel on the back. “He’s been sittin’ here alone way too long, think he needs a little nudge…”
“Oh, I… I don’t,” you began.
“Really don’t need…” Joel said.
“Nonsense!” Your dad said. “C’mon! You two - two of my favorite people - have been sittin’ off to the sides of this shindig all night. Make me happy, get out there for me.”
You looked at Joel half pleading, half resigned.
“Yeah, alright,” Joel said, getting up and setting his beer on the table. Your father got up, too.
“Good man!” He patted him firmly between the shoulder blades. “You two have fun!”
Joel offered you his hand and you took it before he led you to the dance floor, your body tense and separated firmly from his own. The music shifted just as the two of you got there, The Way You Look Tonight starting to play and Joel almost groaned. Might as well put a neon sign over his head, flashing “I want to fuck her” in bright red.
He took you in his arms all the same, leaving a respectable, painful distance between the two of you as he started to sway with you on the dance floor.
“I’m sorry about this,” you said quietly after a moment. “I don’t know what his problem is, besides the fact that he’s had too much to drink.”
“S’OK,” Joel said. His hand was at the small of your back and he knew just how soft your skin was there. “I don’t… It’s nice. Dancin’ with you.”
You smiled a little.
“It’s nice dancing with you, too.”
You looked at him differently then. Your eyes were softer, your body less stiff and it reminded Joel of the night before, when you were just a stranger in a bar and you smiled and talked and laughed with him for hours.
“I wish things were different,” you said quietly, eyes searching his. “I know we just met but… I mean, if I lived closer, if…”
“If I wasn’t your daddy’s friend?” He asked, giving you a crooked smile.
You laughed a little.
“Yeah, that little snag,” you said. “If life was different… I think I’d like to figure some of it out with you, Joel.”
The song wound down and he knew his time with you was numbered.
“Think I’d like to figure it out with you, too.”
He wanted to kiss you then and, if you were any other woman or in any other place, he would have. But instead, the music ended and he forced himself to stop touching you and he stood, in the middle of the dance floor, other couples flowing around him as he watched you walk away from him and back toward your family.
Joel seriously considered getting hammered when he got home that night. Drinking himself into oblivion seemed like the kindest thing he could do to himself but he couldn’t bring himself to risk losing the memory of dancing with you like that. Instead, he lay flat on his back in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, etching every part of you into his mind as best he could because, goddammit, the last day had to have existed for something, right? A bright spot in what had become a lonely life, something he could look back on with fondness when shit didn’t go the way he wanted.
But, before too long, he knew that wouldn’t be enough.
He got up, not bothering to get changed, just staying in his plaid pajama pants and threadbare band t-shirt and drove to your hotel. He remembered your room number and, only after he’d knocked on your door, did he realize what he’d done. He had, without calling or texting or anything that was actually fucking sensible, shown up at your door at - he glanced at his watch - one in the fucking morning.
“Shit,” he said to himself, already moving to go when your door opened.
“Joel?” You frowned a little, looking him up and down. “What are you…”
“This was stupid,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this, I should’ve just…”
You reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him from leaving and he blinked in surprise.
“Did you want to come in or not?” You asked, brows raised.
“Yeah,” he nodded quickly. “Yeah, I do.”
And you smiled and took his hand, leading him into your room.
***
Six Months Later
“This feels like tempting fate,” you muttered as you did your hair in the mirror over Joel’s dresser.
“Nah,” he waved you off as he lounged, shirtless, on the bed. “It’ll be fine. Think we can manage to keep our hands to ourselves for a few hours.”
You scoffed at that. If you could, that would be a fucking first.
In the six months since you and Joel had decided to make a go of it - damn all the reasons that you shouldn’t - you’d been happier than you could ever remember being. He’d been to visit you in Tennessee twice and you’d met up in New Orleans once but this was your first time back home since you’d decided that dating your father’s best friend wasn’t a total lost cause.
When you were together, you spent obscene amounts of time in bed. He made you come more than anyone else you’d ever been with and you spent hours naked and tangled up with each other. Even when you were apart, he still gave you the best damn orgasms of your life because he was shockingly good at sexting for someone who was 20 years older than you.
But your connection with Joel was so much deeper than the physical. You could talk with him the way you could no one else, he knew you and saw you in a way you didn’t realize was possible for another person to see you and know you. You wanted to spend all your time with him, do everything with him. How were you supposed to sit at your parents’ house for Thanksgiving dinner with him next to you at the table and expect them to not notice that?
“M’serious,” he came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the side of your neck before nuzzling into your skin there. “Be on my best behavior. No fuckin’ you in the storage room this time. Couldn’t get me naked tonight if you tried.”
“Oh, OK,” you rolled your eyes but laughed a little. “I’m sure you’d keep it in your pants if I just tugged my sweater dress down nice and low and headed off to the quiet part of the house…”
“Well now you’re just askin’ too much of me, baby,” he teased, kissing you again before putting his face beside yours in the mirror. “I’m just a man, after all.”
“My man,” you smiled and he laughed.
“S’right,” he said. “Yours.”
You went to your parents’ place first, keeping up the pretense that you’d been staying at a friend’s and not at Joel’s during your trip home, and you helped your mom finish up the last of dinner preparations.
“You’re sure Joel’s not bringing anybody?” Your mom asked your dad as the two of you set the table, your dad camped in front of the television watching football.
“S’what he said,” he replied absently before smacking his hand down on the arm of his recliner. “Fuckin’ hell! Dunno when we’re gonna field a goddamn defense this season…”
“Well I thought you mentioned that he’d been seeing someone,” your mom said and your head snapped around to look at her so fast your neck popped. She frowned at you and you cleared your throat awkwardly, looking back down at the place setting you were arranging.
“Said I thought he was seein’ someone,” your dad corrected her. “Been actin’ all cagey last few months but he’s got this funny look on his face when he shows up for basketball is all.”
You bit back a smile and put out the next napkin.
“Well, that’s good,” your mom said. “I hope he is seeing someone. Joel’s a good guy, he deserves a good woman.”
“I agree OH COME ON!” He was on his feet, remote clutched in his hand as a ref gestured on screen. He turned off the TV and threw the remote into the couch. “Well, there’s no comin’ back from that. I’m gonna take a piss before folks get here…”
“I wish you wouldn’t talk like that during the holidays,” your mother grumbled. The words were barely out of her mouth when the doorbell rang and she looked to you. “Would you mind getting that, sweetie?”
“Sure,” you smiled and tried to keep yourself from running to the door, stopping at the mirror to check your hair and makeup before pulling the door open. Joel was standing there, one of those cocky, crooked smiles you loved so much on his face.
“Well hi there,” he said, his brown eyes soft.
“Hi,” you smiled and then feigned a frown. “I’m sorry… Jim, was it? Think we met at my parents’ anniversary party?”
He pursed his lips for a second and rolled his eyes and you could tell he wanted to grab you and kiss you.
“Joel,” he corrected you. “And yeah, somethin’ like that.”
Your mother put Joel across from you, the two single people at the table, and you slipped your foot out of your shoe during dinner, tracing your toes over his calf where no one could see.
“So, princess,” your dad said as dinner wound down and you were on your third glass of wine. “You ever gonna get a real job? Think about movin’ closer to home?”
The room went silent, Joel’s eyebrows knitting together before looking toward your father at the head of the table.
“Honey,” your mom said quietly, lightly scolding your dad.
“What?” He asked, picking up his wine glass and taking a generous sip. “Think it’s a fair question. We bankrolled her gettin’ that damn degree thinkin’ she’d do something with herself and she’s, what, playing music for whackos?”
“Dad,” your sister hissed, her eyes darting to her boyfriend across from her. “Cool it.”
“I’m providing music therapy in an inpatient setting,” you said, setting your wine glass down.
“You’re finding some damn way to chase that pipe dream of being a goddamn singer is what you’re doin’,” he replied. “It’s time to grow up, find a real job…”
“Just because you don’t recognize the importance of mental health doesn’t mean my job isn’t real,” you said, forcing yourself to stay calm.
“You said you wanted to study psychology so you could help people,” he cut you off. “Not so you could find some way to play rock star, and…”
“And I think you’ve had a few too many,” Joel cut him off. Your dad opened his mouth to argue but Joel cocked his head, his jaw tense. “C’mon. You were just tellin’ me that she don’t come home enough, you think this shit is helping? It’s Thanksgiving. Cool it.”
Your mom looked quickly between you and Joel before clearing her throat.
“Pie, anyone?” She asked, ending the conversation before your dad had a chance to pick it up again.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” you said when you got back to Joel’s that night, taking your earrings out and setting them on the nightstand you’d claimed as yours.
“He shouldn’t have said that shit to you,” Joel said, his voice heated. “Can’t believe he’d even think that shit let alone say it. I’d never dream of saying somethin’ like that to Sarah, not about to just let him…”
“Yes, you are,” you said, crossing your arms and facing him. “He’s always been like that, he’s always only wanted me to exist as an extension of himself and only do what he thinks is worthwhile. It’s nothing new, I’m used to it…”
“Well, you fuckin’ shouldn’t be,” he snapped. “You deserve better than that.”
“It’s great that you believe that,” you said. “I do, too. But if we want to make this work? You can’t come to my rescue. If it happens again, you have to let me handle it. Understand?”
He sighed before going and kissing your temple.
“Whatever you want, baby.”
July 4th, 19 months later
“Do we really have to go?” You groaned, Joel’s ceiling fan turning lazily over your head. You were naked, the only way you could handle being anywhere close to Joel in this heat, your bodies sticky with sweat and come.
“You are visiting for the holiday,” he said, toying with your fingers. “Probably look pretty damn weird if you don’t turn up for the cookout.”
You sighed.
“You’re right,” you said. “But you have to behave yourself this time. Actually behave yourself, I mean it.”
“When do I not behave myself?” He teased. “I’m always on my best behavior when it comes to you, baby.”
You snorted.
“Is that what you called it when you cornered me in the bathroom last Christmas and stuck your tongue down my throat?” You asked.
“Yup,” he said.
“How about when you pick a fight with my dad when he says something shitty?”
“He stops sayin’ shitty stuff, I’ll stop fighting ‘im on it,” Joel shrugged. You groaned. “I just don’t understand that man. I love ‘im like a brother, and all he says about you when you aren’t around is glowing. You’d think that man worships the ground you walk on but for some reason, you come home and he decides to act like a fuckin’ jackass and I’m not about to just let him talk to you that way, baby, I’m sorry but I’m not. I’d stop any man from talking about his kid that way but I’m sure as hell not gonna just let him do it to you.”
“Your chivalry would be hotter if it wasn’t putting our entire relationship at risk,” you said wryly.
He shrugged.
“We gotta tell him eventually, baby,” he said. “And if he finds out because he was being an ass, well, that’s on him.”
You went into what had become your usual habit with Joel and holidays. When he wasn’t with Sarah - another hurdle you had yet to cross, not sure how she’d feel about her father dating someone just two years older than her - the two of you were usually together. When you came to Austin like you were now, you went to your parents’ house first and pitched in with your mother, counting the minutes until he showed up at the door. When he did, with his special recipe baked beans in hand, a profound relief took you. He was there, with you, and you were making it work.
Or you were, until your dad made a back handed comment about your career yet again.
You clenched your hand a little tighter around your beer bottle and you opened your mouth to respond but Joel beat you to it.
“I don’t know why you say that kind of crap,” he said, going from leaning against a fence post by the pool to rising to his full and frankly massive height. “You tryin’ to make your kid feel like shit? Make her think you ain’t proud of her and what she does? Because I got news for you, bud, you’re damn lucky to have someone like her for a kid, someone who’s smart and kind and talented as hell. You’re damn lucky she comes around here at all, you talking to her the way you do and I’m not about to just let you pull that shit in front of me!”
You stood there, mouth open, staring at your boyfriend who no one knew was your boyfriend. The party had gone silent, the only sounds coming from the sizzle of burgers on the grill and the quiet guitar of background music from the speakers around the pool.
“Don’t much appreciate bein’ spoken to like that in my own home, friend,” your dad said eventually, his voice low and dangerous.
“I’m sure you don’t,” Joel muttered, setting his beer bottle down with a little too much force on a nearby table. “I’ll see myself out.”
He hardly looked your way on his way to his truck and, when the rest of the guests left that night, you just had to pray that your mom believed you when you lied and said you didn’t know why Joel would act like that because of you.
Two months later
“It’s just not working,” you said, your voice thick.
You didn’t like doing this. You didn’t want to do this. You needed to do this.
“Baby,” he said, a pleading edge to his voice. “C’mon, I know… I know things have been rough, that the distance is real hard and that I fucked up when you were here last but…”
“What are we doing, Joel?” You asked, rubbing your temple with one hand and clutching your phone to your head with the other.
“I thought we were lovin’ each other,” he said in a voice so sad and weak it almost broke you.
“To what end?” You asked. “Where is this going? We’ve been doing this for more than two years now and what’s changed? We’re still in different states, my parents still don’t know and neither does your daughter, our lives are still separate. We have no where to go from here and I just… I can’t keep doing this. It’s not working.”
“Isn’t it worth it like it is?” He said softly.
“Joel,” you whispered.
He sighed.
“You’re right,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’m… I’m sorry. I just… You’re right. I shouldn’t hold you back, you deserve to have whatever you want.”
“So do you,” you said quietly.
He laughed once.
“We both know that ain’t true,” he said. “Just… take care of yourself for me, OK baby? Give yourself something good.”
“You too,” you said, just letting yourself sob now.
“Still love you, baby,” he almost whispered. “Think I always will.”
You pressed your nails into your palm. You weren’t sure you could survive saying it back.
He didn’t ask you to.
“I’ll see you around,” he said. “Bye, baby.”
He hung up before you said I love you, too.
Seven Years Later
You wondered if you should feel guilty, looking at your engagement ring on your finger as your new fiance snored lightly beside you.
Reid was a good man. You’d met on a dating app a few years earlier, a few casual boyfriends between you and the disintegration of your relationship with Joel by then but he still lingered there on the edge of your consciousness. Never close but never far away, either.
Your new fiance had wooed you in the usual way. He charmed you over text, he thoughtfully arranged dates, he even sent you flowers the first time you slept with him. He did almost everything right, even if he was sometimes oddly distant and unreachable. You were happy when he got down on one knee at the mini-golf course he’d taken you to on your first date, a large and shining diamond held out to you as an offering.
But for a moment, just half a second, it wasn’t Reid you wanted to ask you that question. It was Joel, the man you’d loved more than any other, the man you hadn’t spoken to in the better part of a decade, the man you had no business still loving that you wanted to ask for your hand.
Breaking things off had been the right call. You were right, it couldn’t work. You couldn’t have with him what you had with Reid, someone to sleep next to every night and plan a future with every day. But fuck, you still wished you could.
You toyed with the ring, twisting it on your finger, the stone feeling oddly heavy on your hand. Reid was a good man. One you could settle down with, one you could build a life with. He was what you needed.
You rolled over and wrapped around a pillow, trying to not think of Joel as you fell asleep next to your fiance.
***
Bar None, Present Day
Joel thought he was crazy when he saw you.
It wouldn’t surprise him if he’d lost his mind, spending the last decade hung up on you the way he had. There hadn’t been a day that passed since you left him that he didn’t think about you. He wondered how you were doing, if you were too stressed at work or if you were drinking enough water or if you’d seen a movie he thought you’d like.
Sometimes, he just thought about you existing in your life. He pictured you on your couch reading or laughing with a glass of wine in your hand or lying in bed with your eyes half closed as you drifted toward sleep. He liked doing that, picturing you in your space in the intimate moments of your life.
Others, he thought about the deeper things. He thought about you being happy, both alone and with someone else. He thought about you getting older and advancing in your life and your career. He thought about you struggling sometimes and how he wished he could make it easier. He thought about sending you flowers on your birthday and almost did a few times before deciding that might mess things up for you, if you were dating someone and flowers from another man showed up at your door so he didn’t because all he wanted was for you to be happy.
He’d started talking to your dad again, a few months after you broke things off with him. They made up in that gruff way men did, dodging any and all emotion as much as they could. Joel latched on to everything your father mentioned about you. He became masochistic, in a way. Asking after you sometimes, checking in on how you were doing, seeing if your dad took pictures when you came home for the holidays. The day you got engaged was a punch to the gut. Your dad had proudly announced it to the whole team at their game that night, damn near glowing. That hit him harder than he thought it would.
You really were gone, then. It really was over. Your dad had shown him the picture you’d sent him when you’d gotten engaged. It was a selfie, a man much closer to your age than Joel was holding you close and tight as you held your ring up for the camera and smiled broadly. But, he thought - maybe wishfully - it didn’t reach your eyes. Not really. Some part of this wasn’t entirely what you wanted.
He shouldn’t like that - and most of him didn’t. He wanted you to be happy. He wanted you to have every good thing you could because you deserved that. But the rest of him was selfish because he wanted to be the one to give you those things. He wanted to give you smiles and orgasms and fucking diamond rings.
But he could’t. And you deserved someone who could.
He’d tried to move on in your years apart, he really had. He’d tried dating for a while. Sarah even showed him how to set up a dating app and he went out with a few women but it hadn’t been any different than it had been in the past. It wasn’t long before he gave up, resigning himself to a life where the best of it was behind him.
Going to Bar None was one of those masochistic things he just kept doing. He tried not to go too often, limiting himself to once a month at most. Some months were better than others. Sometimes, he could go six, eight weeks without stepping foot inside the place he’d first met you. Others, he went back three or four nights in a row. He always sat at the same spot he’d been at when he first saw you, like if he stayed rooted there long enough you’d walk back into his life and you could pick up right where you left off.
Still, it was a shock when he saw you come in with your friends that night. He forced himself to sit there and wait even though your eyes found his the second you were in the door.
You were engaged. Maybe even home for some kind of wedding related event. The last thing you needed was some ex-boyfriend butting in where he wasn’t wanted.
But… you were looking at him. Not just looking at him, looking at him the way you used to, looking at him like you wanted him. So, when the last of your friends got up and left and you were there at the table, alone, he couldn’t help it. He went to you.
And you weren’t wearing a ring.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he said, looking at your bare hand for a moment before going back to your face. “Your dad didn’t say…”
“Yeah, he wasn’t exactly thrilled,” you smiled a little, putting your hand back in your lap. “He lost out on some deposit money for the wedding when that fell through. Thankfully, he got to place the blame on my ex and not on me.”
“Can I ask what happened?” Joel asked, trying to keep from feeling hopeful. Lord knows he shouldn’t.
“He cheated on me,” you said, shrugging simply as though you’d said he’d forgotten what you’d sent him to the store to get.
“Shit,” Joel shook his head. “I’m sorry. He’s a scumbag, not to mention a fuckin’ dumbass.”
You smiled a little and shrugged again.
“It happens,” you said. “And, honestly… I was a little relieved. The closer we got to the wedding, the more I wondered if I was doing the right thing.”
Joel’s heart sped up.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, taking a sip of your drink. “As much as I loved him, it just… it wasn’t the same as how I felt for this one guy I dated before.”
“Really?” Joel asked, forcing himself to stay in his seat and not take your face in his hands and kiss you.
“Really,” you smiled a little bigger now, one that it looked like you were struggling to contain. “We dated for a while and I loved him so much. I still do. But I was stupid, I let a bunch of life things get in the way and I didn’t fight for things with him the way I should have.”
Joel moved a little closer to you.
“Probably not stupid,” he said. “Probably just practical.”
“Nah, it was stupid,” you said. “When you love someone that much, the only practical thing is to figure it out, you know?”
He took a deep breath.
“Yeah,” he said. “I know.”
“Anyway,” you said. “I decided to come back here. See if he was still single and willing to make a go of it. A real go of it this time, one where we say fuck all the life problems because this is worth it.”
“Well,” Joel said, his heart racing now. “He’d be a fool to turn you down. He was a fool for letting you go to begin with.”
You smiled all the way then before leaning into him slowly, hesitantly. You kissed him, gentle and soft and your lips were so familiar but so electric on him. Something in him came alive at your touch, sparking low and deep and hot and he was suddenly desperate for you. His hands moved of their own accord, one to hold your face to his, the other to take your waist, slipping around to your back, pulling you damn near off your bar stool and into him, his tongue dipping into the sweetness that was your mouth.
After what seemed like forever and no time at all, you pulled back from him, breathless and wide eyed.
“Want to come back to my place?” You asked quietly. “I’m still unpacking but it’s not far.”
“Yeah,” he nodded quickly and then laughed a little. As if he wouldn’t go anywhere you asked. “Course I do.”
You were barely in the door when your arms were around his neck, your body pressed tightly to the front of him, his hands snaking around to hold you close. You led him to your bedroom, tugging at his clothes and stepping out of yours until both of you were naked next to your bed. Joel’s eyes ran over you in the dark, the slats of the blinds casting lines of moonlight over your bared skin. You were somehow - impossibly - even more beautiful than he remembered, his hands gently running over the outline of you in front of him.
“You sure about this?” He asked quietly.
“I’m sure,” you whispered back. “More sure than I’ve been about anything in a long time.”
He smiled at that, kissing you before that smile swallowed him up, and he lowered you onto the bed. He guided you back on it, until you were in the middle of the mattress and he settled between your thighs. His cock - already so hard it almost hurt and dripping with want - nestled against your soft, wet heat, the head of him brushing your clit as he rocked himself against you.
“Fuck, Joel,” you breathed as he kissed your neck, drinking in the smell of your perfume and skin and just a little bit of sweat from the heat of the bar. “I missed you.”
“Missed you, too,” he dragged his teeth up and over your skin to nip at your ear lobe. “So goddamn much.”
He kissed over your skin, pressed himself against your warmth, worked himself against your slit, savoring every part of you he could possibly touch until you were dripping and damn near writhing below him.
“Please,” you panted, your fingers knotting in the hair at his nape. “I need you, I need you inside me, please, I…”
He just nodded, separating from you enough to look between your bodies as he lined himself up with your entrance, pressing just the tip of him inside your grasping pussy before settling on top of you again. His eyes found yours in the dark, your skin soft on his, your mouth open as you whimpered in pleasure and want.
“I’ve got you,” he said. “Give you everything you need.”
You nodded quickly, frantically, and he pushed inside, his cock spreading you open and he had to fight to not close his eyes and get totally lost in the feel of you. But he needed everything, he needed to see you while he felt you and heard you and breathed you in. It had been too long since he’d seen you like this - back arched, mouth agape, keening and whining from his cock. He needed it like he needed water or air, needed you with him like this as often as he could get it. He needed you with him in every other way, too. He was an addict, there was never going to be enough. He knew now, after years of drought, that he would happily drown in you if you’d let him.
He kissed you as he bottomed out inside, the whole of him filling the whole of you. Your walls clung to him, already fluttering lightly over him, your thighs wrapped around his hips as he held himself deep. He could taste you now, too, and his heart stuttered in his chest. Finally, he had all of you again, overwhelming all of him again.
When he started to move inside you, he knew he wasn’t going to last long. You felt too goddamn good and it had been years since he’d last been with anyone without a condom. But he didn’t need to worry about making you come, he could tell you were already close. It had been years since he last had you but his body knew yours deeply and intimately. He knew how your hips moved when you got close, how your channel would draw tight for a moment before relaxing ever so slightly, again and again until you were pulled so close around him that he knew you were right on the precipice of your climax.
“Come on baby,” he whispered, looking in your wide eyes. “Come for me, let me feel you.”
You cried out, the sound cracked and desperate, and he pressed deep as you came, your channel throbbing and pulsing over him so hard that the rest of the world fell away. All that was left was you and how you were taking him, you and how damn good your pleasure felt.
“Fuck, that’s it,” he said, still grinding his cock deep into you until your orgasm started to ease. “Not gonna last baby, can I come in you? Fuck, please…”
“Please, Joel,” you moaned but, before he could start fucking into you hard and fast, your fingers dug into his bicep and your eyes met his, pleading in a new way. “But… I’m not on anything.”
He stilled inside you, your cunt still tight around him, the last aftershocks of your orgasm running over him. You wanted him to come inside unprotected. He knew you’d always wanted children. You’d even day dreamed about it with him, fingers laced with his when you were naked in bed, but that’s all it had ever been: a dream. Now, you were damn near asking for it.
“You sure?” He asked, breathless.
“Yes,” you whispered. “I want you. All of you.”
“Fuck,” he groaned, burying his face in your neck and fucking into you in earnest, his cock harder than it had ever been at your words. “I’m yours baby, only ever been yours.”
Your thighs tightened against his sides, your hips rising to meet his, your pussy drawing tight around him again as he worked down into you and he moaned into your skin as he came, the heavy pulse of his orgasm making you come around him again, finding the height of your shared being together again, the way it seemed like it always should have been.
When his climax finally eased, he went limp on top of you for a moment, your hands tracing slow, easy paths over the breadth of his back. When it felt like he could control his limbs again, he kissed your shoulder and pulled out of you gently, falling to your side. You rolled to face him and he tugged you close before lacing his fingers with yours, brushing over your knuckles as he did.
“Did you mean that?” He asked quietly, eventually.
“Yes,” you said softly, watching him closely. “I know what I want, Joel. I went a long time without you. I had a lot of time to think about things. I know what I want and what I want is you. I wanted you while we were apart, too, I was just… too afraid of what that might mean. But I know better now.”
“What about your family?” He asked. “Your dad… not sure he’ll ever forgive us.”
“Don’t care,” you said. “I fight with him all the time, anyway. At least this is a good reason to.”
He smiled a little.
“And it doesn’t bother you that I’ve got a kid who’s just two years younger than you?” He asked.
“Moved past that years ago,” you smiled back. “Does it bother you?”
“Moved past that years ago,” he said, too, and you laughed.
“Does it bother you that I…” you took a deep breath. “That I want kids?”
He watched you closely for a moment, your lower lip drawn between your teeth.
“Haven’t thought much about having more kids,” he said. “But the times I have… they’ve been yours.”
“Really?”
“Every time,” he said. “S’long as you don’t mind them having an old dad…”
You laughed again, all gentle and easy, the way things were when the two of you were alone together.
“Think we can manage,” you said. “I just want you. Everything else? We’ll figure it out.”
He smiled a little and he reached out, cupping your cheek and looking in your eyes and feeling a spark in his chest that said he was holding the whole world in his palm.
“Yeah,” he said. “Think we will.”
A/N: I'm SO SORRY it took me a million years to finish this, I really didn't intend to. I hope it was at least somewhat worth the wait!
I hope you enjoyed these two crazy kids. I had a blast writing them. Thank you for being here and for putting up with the insane wait between chapters. Love you!
#fanfic#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x oc#joel miller smut#stranger in a bar
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at this point I just categorically have 90,000,000 times more fun on tumblr than the smoldering wreckage of twitter. like, twitter was already becoming kind of a drag for me before the hostile takeover, and now that cohost (hallowed be her name) is shutting down, it's like, well—i guess we doin’ tumbls again!! “it’s obviously the best one”
honestly, while the queer internet may never recover from the sucking wound that was and is tumblr’s NSFW ban—at least not as long as the united states of america continues to fail to take antitrust action against apple, google, and the payment processors collectively serving as the final boss of what’s allowed to be posted where on the internet—i’m starting to feel like tumblr is moving back into position as The Best Site For Artists regardless. my thoughts on this are half-formed, but it’s like this:
every other social media platform is either 1. tiktok, 2. hyper-obscure, or 3. slow-motion self-destructing to a degree way beyond even what tumblr inflicted upon itself in 2018. this is not a new sentiment i don’t think.
i think the fact that tumblr is unable to capture the literal billions of users every other platform is chasing makes it arguably a lot nicer for the users who are here. there is no way for an application to achieve a tiktok-sized install base that isn’t just naked manipulation and skinnerboxing. tumblr’s leadership seems either too incompetent to pull it off or too wise to try, and so we have what is effectively the last microblogging platform on the internet that’s actually still usable for microblogging.
also, a smaller-but-not-too-small audience is more engaged with what they’re seeing. simple as. a thousand notes on tumblr means more than a million views on tiktok and it always will.
of course, i am in fact making a living off of sexually-explicit art right now, and so tumblr cannot be my One Platform. i get away with it because the art is in service of a story hosted off-site, and so i never need to post The Whole Pussy on here; if i was exclusively an illustrator i’d be even less thrilled with the current state of things than i already ain’t. i guess this is just a testament to how truly bad The State Of Things has gotten, though. congratulations, tumblr: you really did win by doing absolutely nothing.
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if you do an anon list (I’m not good with tumblr talk so I hope that’s the right term lol) then can I be 🛸 ?? If you don’t no worries!
Taste was so good… you did in fact nibble a lot
Do you think you could do something with Thanos? Smut or no smut! I think fluff or enemies to lovers would be sooo good - either way your writing is great!!
Thank you <33
thank youuu so much 🥹 i love anons like you so ofc! and yes i can, you ask and i deliver 🙏🏽
࿐࿔ ⋆ 。˚ prove it
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࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ choi su-bong (thanos) x fem!reader
warnings: violence, mentions of drugs, cursing, teasing, fluff, angst, suggestiveness & thanos flirting 😂
summary: you get teamed up with none other than the legend ‘thanos’ and he’s almost as insufferable as you imagined
authore’s note: ngl i ain’t fw thanos at first, he was an annoying ass druggie and namgyu was a fucking follower with no mind of his own.. but they both grew on me unfortunately and i kinda love them LMAOO
“The second game will begin momentarily” the voice of the loud speaker rang through your ears.
You let out a loud sigh. You should be home right now, in the comfort of your own peace and presence.
But no, you weren’t because a bunch of dumbasses were so money hungry. You looked down at the red ‘X’ patch at the corner of your jacket. A reminder of the fucked up position you were in. A reminder that you might not make it out.
Your heart stung a bit at the thought before chaos caught you out of your trance.
“You fucking asshole!” a male voice angrily spoke.
You turned your head to see player ‘333’ and a purple haired guy getting into it. Him and his friend tag teamed on the man.
You winced when player ‘124’ held him back as the purple haired guy punched him right in the face. You rolled your eyes at their behavior, were they seriously gonna jump him?
If there was anything you hated more than an idiot it was a bully. You couldn’t grasp the fact that there was people out there who would pick on others just because they did something that has nothing to do with them. You would never give a bitch the time of day.
A laugh left your lips when an older man approached the scene. Player ‘001’ saved the day as he fought against the duo and essentially saved player ‘333’ from his beating.
After that… mess. The second game started. Everyone was required to join groups of five. You were off to the side waiting for gravity to pull you towards a group. You were never good with these things. Anxiety and fear of rejection constantly holding you back.
“What about her?” you heard a murmur only a few feet away from you.
Your attention was caught and you turned your head to look behind you. You caught sight of a group of four looking at you.
A shy player ‘125’ was the one who pointed at you. You observed his group. It was him, he looked really shy as he stood there, like he somehow didn’t belong but the woman next to him ‘380’ stood protectively and made him somewhat comfortable. The other two were the most annoying people in here.
‘Fuck no’ you thought as the group of four slowly approached you.
So this just HAD to be the group that gravitated towards you.
“Hi” player ‘125’ waved at you shyly before looking at ‘380’ essentially waiting for her to pop the big question.
“Join our group?” she softly smiled.
You peeped behind them at the two crackheads who were all up in each others face giggling clearly on something, or maybe they were just naturally like that.
The two pleaded at you as they were clearly the only normal ones out of their group. Your eyes flickered between them, they even gave you those puppy sympathy eyes that made you feel bad so..
“Yes, not like I have much of an option anyway” you murmured that last part under your breath but clearly they heard it as they both let out chuckles of relief.
Everyone learned that you guys would be playing five games, hence why their needed to be five people in each group. After the robot like woman voice explained the directions, it was time to decide who would be playing each game.
“Let me take ddakji, I did pretty good when I played with the salesman” you shrugged as you were the first one to speak in the group
Players ‘125’ and ‘380’ nodded at you in agreement with your choice before discussing what they were gonna play
“And what if I wanted to play ddakji, señorita?” an annoyingly flirtatious voice caught your attention.
You rolled your eyes “Well I picked it first so deal with it”
Thanos smirked at you “Ouu, you’re a feisty one, I like that” he playfully growled at you.
This man… he better pray those guards take him out before you do.
“Fuck off weirdo” you cringed at his actions.
He laughed at you “I’m just messing with you girl” he paused to take a good look at you. His eyes trailed up and body your seated body. Your hair was laid neatly on top of your head. But what caught his eye were your lips.
“You have pretty lips” he whispered leaning towards you crouched as he kept his eyes locked onto your lips, occasionally back up at your eyes.
Your breath hitched as he inched closer. You took some time to observe his features too. You would definitely be lying to yourself if you said the man wasn’t attractive… because damn he was.
But every time he opened his mouth…
“Wonder how pretty the other ones are” he smirked causing you to let out an “Ughh” and with that you pushed him away from you before turning away angrily. The audacity of men.
But it wasn’t long until his puppet decided to get on someone’s nerves too. Apparently he was being rude to player ‘125’ who obviously had a hard time with sticking up for himself, he said something that caught ‘380’s ear and she wasn’t having it.
You took sides with the woman, obviously, and urged player ‘124’ to stop being annoying so your group could focus on winning and getting out of here.
“Bitch” he muttered under his breath
“Fuck you say?” you jolted your head towards him “I know you ain’t talkin’ all you do is follow around after that pervert” your sentence was cut short by the purple haired man shouting a “Hey!” in defense
“You’re the real bitch” you squinted your eyes at him
“Hey, hey calm down” player ‘380’ rubbed your back and slightly pulled you away before you smacked some sense into the men “he’s not worth it” she whispered
“Let’s just focus on winning, okay?” you nodded at her words, your temper cooling down
“What did I do?” Thanos held his arms up in a childlike manner as he frowned still not getting over your pervert comment.
“Shut up” you and player ‘380’ hissed at the same time
After a couple rounds of player participating, it was now time for your group to go. The tension from before was nothing compared to the one now. This was life or death — and none of you wanted to die.
Player ‘380’ who stood right next to you suddenly spoke up “Se-mi. My name’s Se-mi”
You were caught off guard by her sudden comment and you looked over at her. You could tell the girl was nervous as you felt her arm that was hooked around yours shake a little.
Before you could reassure her, player ‘125’ spoke up as well, “My name’s Min-su” the boy looked at the both of you with a sympathetic yet sad face.
You smiled softly at the duo before telling them your own name and looking at them with nothing but hope gleaming in your eyes “Guys, we can do this okay? I believe in the both of you”
“What about us?” the purple haired man spoke up at the sound of your voice causing you to roll your eyes
“Fuck you guys” you caught an attitude before checking yourself from the words you said before
“That’s not nice, señorita!” Thanos pointed at you firmly, the pills he popped before clearly kicking in.
“I believe in you guys too” you pressed your lips together at the two men with an encouraging nod
A few seconds later and it was time. Anxiety filling all of your bodies with each step you took — reminding yourself that you were closer to the finish line with each movement.
You were up first, taking the folded up red flap, with some quick motivation to yourself you used all your might to hit against athe blue one.
‘Passed’ was all you registered as you closed your eyes, too scared to see the results — a wave of relief washing over you
“LETSSS GO!!” you heard Thanos scream out
Se-mi and Min-su cheered you on before the five of you continued playing. Se-mi was a pro as she got hers on the first try as well. You guys were halfway done once youreached Min-su’s turn — four minutes left on the clock. You were definitely gonna make it.
“Get off him! We’re never gonna win as a team if we start to go against each other” you shouted at player ‘124’ as he shook Min-su for accidentally messing up during gonggi
“Yeah man” Thanos shoved him with a pout “don’t hurt Min-su, he’s trying just like the rest of us” he pointed around the room.
You slightly smiled before nodding your head at your team, reminding them that you guys work together — no matter what.
“I got your back my love!” Thanos of course ruined the moment with his poor flirting. You rolled your eyes at the air kisses he sent you with a big smile on his face.
And finally, it was over. After Thanos made the fifth hit and your group passed the finish line. It was a success. Everyone cheered as yet another group had the chance of making it out of here. The support meant everything and you could burst into tears of joy.
On the way back, the mini celebration continued. Se-mi and Min-su trailing ahead of you as they showered each other and you with compliments.
You smiled as you heard “You did amazing, where’d you learn to play like that?” from Min-su
You brushed them off as you went to go your separate ways as soon as you hit the dormitory. Not 100% ready to open up until you guys were officially out of here, if this previous game didn’t push people to leave you didn’t know what would.
“Hey! Señorita don’t go” the familiar voice followed behind you as you mad your way to your bunk
“What do you want?” you groaned completely exhausted by just his presence
“You” he protested with his arms crossed
“Well you don’t get everything you want in life! Isn’t that why you’re here in the first place?” you snapped
“You know I’m getting really sick of your attitude” he rushed towards you with sudden speed
“And I’m sick of YOU!” you gestured angrily towards him
“You don’t even fucking know me!” he raised his voice at you
“Oh and my life has been great up until this very moment” you tilted your head with a smirk
“Clearly not if you’re in here” he laughed in your face
“You’re so insufferable, go back to your little puppet”
“You know what” he chuckled angrily pressing his tongue on the inside of his cheek
Don’t even think about it…
“What?” you shoved him slightly pushing his buttons
“I HATE YOU” he looked down at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read — he was definitely lying
“I HATE YOU MORE!” you yelled just as loud as he did
“Why?” he tilted his head in frustration
“Because you’re a bully! You walk around here like you own the place, picking on people smaller than you”
“First of all, that little scamming motherfucker had it coming-” he pointed before you cut him off
“It doesn’t matter, you obviously don’t care about anyone but yourself!”
“And what if I don’t just care about myself” he looked you up and down with a bit of hesitation
“Then I’d honestly think you’re just a liar” you sighed
“I care about you” he suddenly spoke just above a whisper
“What? You don’t even know me” you rolled your eyes getting ready to throw yourself in the bed to end this conversation before you caught a migraine
“Then let me get to know you” his words made your heart stop for a second
It was depressing but not many people wanted to get to know you off rip. Your personality being too much for some people — you just didn’t take any shit.
“Goodbye Thanos” you were about to walk away
“I’m serious, let me take you out once we get outta here” okay now he was pushing it
“We?” you questioned with more aggression than what you intended
“Yes, we” he smiled placing a hand on your shoulder
“Ha, get back at me when you’re not high” you smiled back at him sarcastically
“This is me being serious, no drugs talking. I really am interested in you if you couldn’t tell” he tried his best at reassuring you
“Just yesterday you were flirting with another girl! Who died because YOU said something to her might I add, that sounds like bad juju” you shook your head at him
“Look, you clearly don’t believe me. So when it’s time to vote again, I’ll show you. I’m gonna change my vote to ‘X’ just to prove it” his words being nothing but sincere
“Mhm, you’d really do that?” you tilted your head
“For my future wife? Of course!” he put an arm over your shoulders. You couldn’t help but laugh at him, he was annoying but hilarious in his own way.
“We’ll see” you whispered in his ear
“Oh yes we will, my señorita” he smirked bringing you closer to his side as the two of you waited for voting to begin
i feel like this was more of a one sided enemies to lovers thing.. thanos is such an unserious character he cant even have any real enemies 😭 plus the man was on drugs most of the time
plus we all know y/n a baddie so who resisting that 🙄
and why is he kinda… i was giggling during some of these parts lol, this man really grew on me yall 😫😫💔
#🛸 anon#squid game fic#squid game x y/n#squid game 2#squid game x reader#thanos#choi su bong#squid game#squid game x you#thanos x reader#thanos x y/n#thanos x you#player 230
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cuddling w Genshin characters
warnings: none
characters: ga Ming, Xiao, lyney, alhaitham, furina,
Synopsis (is this the right word?): cuddling headcanons w these characyers
Uhhh btw idk how blogs work on tumblr yet but requests are open
GA MING:
His cuddles would be very warm and soothing, HED cuddle you as if you were a giant stuffed toy,
A lot of the time he either sleeps really late or doesn’t sleep at all so he ends up doing smth else but when he does you’re always in his arms
example by what I said in the one above: playing with cards. He would be playing with cards while you’re cuddling w him on his chest, do u get what I mean?
there are nights he’s extra tired from work + dancing so on those nights he just slips in the bed with you and immediately falls asleep.
if you can’t sleep, he will hum you one of his dance routine songs
XIAO:
I like to think he isnt super used to physical touch, but you can tell he’s trying
the first few nights…or maybe months, you two would just hold hands while you sleep, not yet full on cuddling
but after a few months when you guys are both comfy, HED let you lay your head on his chest or hee hug you by the waist.
youd have to remind him sometimes that it’s okay to do these stuff
I think he would be the type to always put stray strands of hair behind your ear or if you seem restless and can’t sleep, HED try to calm you down by patting your head
Lyney (I actually love lyney so much I have not had a single post without lyney in it)
He loves cuddling, he loves hugging you sm
hed be the type to show u some magic tricks while you guys cuddle
hed press kisses on your forehead then continue as if nothing happened
sometikes he comes home really tired and he’s really appreciate it whenever you’d help him like unwind and like hug him to sleep
you have Teo options: either a really talkative lyney or one that is very quiet, either way he loves being in your arms
If He notices you shivering, he would use his vision to warm you up a bit.
alhaitham:
You would cuddle on the bed or on a chair while he’s reading a book
when he’s done reading said book, either hell stand up and get another or finish and just stay with you in bed.
he’d be the type to admire you a lot while you’re sleeping like hes just stare at your face
during the nights u can’t sleep, hee read u his book. Unfortunately it’s very boring, but eh its the thought that counts
furina (the first time I’ve ever written a female Genshin character wow)
She’s always tell you about her adventures of the day, or the court cases
when she notices you fell asleep, she’d kiss your cheek and then go to bed herself
id like to think that on restless nights of yours, she’d try to either A) entertain you by performing or smth so you’re not bored or B) sing you a lullaby
on nights she’s feeling down, you’d have to reassure her and she’s be really relaxed and fall asleep in your arms
okay number one, this ain’t proofread at all and number two, my bad if I accidentally mischaracterized them
#lyney#genshin#genshin impact#genshin x reader#lyney x reader#headcanons#lyney fluff#lyney x you#Xiao#xiao x you#xiao fluff#xiao x reader#alhaitham x reader#gaming x reader#fluff#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x you#furina#furina x reader#furina x you#gaming x you#gaming x y/n#fontaine#sumeru#liyue
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If it is nightmare before Christmas, I wonder who is the guest character. Usually it's the twisted version of villains like with Rollo and Fellow and Gidel aren't twisted of main villains (Honest John and his companion are more minor) but still counts as villains. Given the movie, Jack is consider to be a bit villainous so likely chance there's a twisted version of him despite being the main character. There's also the fact of Oogie Boogie having a twisted version character which makes me of a possible SSR of someone who is afraid of bugs...you know who?
[Referencing this post!]
I think the guest character will at least be someone “iconic” and not necessarily the “biggest bad”. We all know how much Disney LOVES its famous iconography and keeps recycling it in their properties. This in part explains why Honest John and Gideon got twisted instead of the coachman; when you think of Pinocchio, you more readily think of the fox and cat rather than the shadowy figure that is their boss. That makes Tumblr sexyman Jack Skellington as likely as a candidate for bishounen-ing as Oogie Boogie is. I personally love both, so no preference as to who gets to be yassified by Yana 😂 Watch it be twisted Sandy Claws, the mayor, Dr. Finkelstein, or the shitty brat trio instead—
If I had to pick which character I like better, I think I’d probably go with Jack?? It’s the dapper suit— He’s just so effortlessly charismatic and cheery. However, I can’t deny the sick joy that I would feel in seeing a twisted Oogie and all of his creepy crawly innards interacting with our local bug hater Jamil 😈 So yeah, I really want a Jamil SSR for this year.
Leona is pretty much also slated for one since he’s the only dorm leader without a Halloween SSR so far meaning we’ll actually get to hear this bitch sing after he teased us about it in Endless Halloween Night BUT HEY, THIS POST AIN’T ABOUT HIM…
I’m so glad that Nightmare Before Christmas is FINALLY becoming a Halloween event… It’s like, perfect for the holiday. I was upset back when Endless Halloween Night happened and we were denied twisted!Jack or Oogie, and now TWST is making up for that missed opportunity all these years later/j
#twisted wonderland#twst#Jamil Viper#Leona Kingscholar#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#jp spoilers#twst halloween#twisted wonderland halloween#notes from the writing raven#Oogie Boogie#Jack Skellington#Nightmare Before Christmas#Santy Claws#Lock Shock and Barrel#Doctor Finkelstein#nightmare before christmas mayor#endless halloween night spoilers#Honest John#Gideon#Fellpw Honest#Coachman#Pinocchio#Gidel#Rollo Flamme#NOT L*ONA ROT#twst jp#twisted wonderland jp#Skelly J. Graves#Skully J. Graves
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Obey Me As Tumblr #29
MC: I love bears they’re so fucking big and dumb
Leviathan: I thought you were a lesbian?
MC: I am talking about the animal!!!!!!!!!!!!
Satan: This is kind of the opposite of straight people forgetting gays exist
•
Beelzebub: *me inhaling pure Neon into my body by sucking it out of an ‘open’ sign at a store: Hhhhhhhhh
Satan: Wtf
Beelzebub: I felt I was pretty clear
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Mammon: Guy about to invent mayonnaise: damn I wish this sandwich tasted bad :/
Solomon: Op’s never had pizza with mayonnaise
Mammon: OP’s never throttled someone to death with their bare hands either but unlike what you said, that can change any second
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Asmodeus: When in doubt slap His ass
Simeon: His is capitalized….are you talking about god’s ass?
Mammon: Are you in doubt? Just slap His ass
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Mammon: Not to sound like a dr*gon but I do want your gold and I am going to lay on top of it in a pile inside a cave
Diavolo: Why did you censor dragon?
Mammon: Townsfolk may find it scary
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MC: Killed a spider n now I feel bad :/
Mammon: Give birth to a spider to make up for it
Mammon: Why did I say that?
MC: Why did you say that
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Luke: Hey everyone it’s 5:30 pm
Solomon: It’s 8:24 where I am
Luke: I decide the rules
Mammon: Rules are more like guidelines, fool
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Asmodeus: How sharp is your knife (flirting)
Solomon: Come find out (flirting intensifies)
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Diavolo: When people start having long random conversations on my posts, my initial thought is “I’m glad these two are having a nice talk” but then I investigate further and almost 100% of the time they’re both horny and role playing historical figures
Diavolo: You all wish I was joking
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Solomon: 2025 bullies be like “give me your lunch coins or I’ll unsub from your dad’s onlyfans”
Leviathan: Posts that can cause physic damage
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Satan: I am sending pain vibes your way. You will feel a lil discomfort on your leg
Mammon: Ouch
Satan: Yeah
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Luke: What happens when you become tumblr famous?
Leviathan: So much happens
Simeon: Like what?
Solomon: So much??? God did you even read the post
Leviathan: Get his ass
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Simeon: The best fruits are hardest to open
Beelzebub: This fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious I know it
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Solomon: YMCA but instead of young man they say comrade and YMCA is USSR
MC: Comrade, steel production is down
Solomon: I said comrade, you must sleep on the ground
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Diavolo: You think I have a choice? I have to be real
Mammon: This isolated message makes me feel like I’m about to be shot and killed
MC: This reminds me of grandma
Mammon: Hi! What does this mean?
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Thirteen: God I wish there was a wasteland I could banish people to
Mammon: It’s the afterlife, sis
Thirteen: You’re right! I could simply murder and kill the people I don’t like! Why didn’t I think of this?
•
Mammon: Want a gf but I ain’t prepared… I’ve not land to give, no cattle…
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#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me as tumblr#funny obey me#obey me incorrect quotes#obey me satan#obey me mammon#obey me solomon#obey me Beelzebub#obey me luke#obey me leviathan#obey me thirteen#obey me diavolo#obey me simeon#obey me asmodeus
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Scar Talks.
(This is a prequel to another tumblr fic I wrote. Check it out!)
“…As I was saying, Scar,” Doc chuckled evilly, “we have ways of making you talk.”
“Really?” Scar said incredulously. He pulled on the restraints tying his arm to the chair, “I mean, Doc, I’ve been in a lot of interrogations before. You don’t have the chops.”
Scar glanced across the room, to where Keralis was leaning against a suspiciously-blank wall. Apart from Keralis’ perch, the chamber was empty, and Scar decided to ignore it for now. He had far more pressing concerns, like the awful sartorial choices of his fellow Hermits.
Both of them were wearing matching white suits with black ties and dress shoes, which Scar thought made them look very silly. He’d humor them for awhile (and make fun of them for sure), and then he was making for the door.
Speaking of the door… His wheelchair was still parked beside him. Not that it was much help, because the door was still locked. Great. Well, never hurt to try some honeyed words…
“By the way, this is the most accessible interrogation room I’ve ever been in. No sills, nice flat hallways, big doors. Top three for sure. Thanks for that.” Scar said warmly.
Doc sniffed, doing his best to hide his smile.
“Of course. What do you take me for? Anyway. We’re getting off-topic, Scar. Like I said, we have ways of making you talk. And you’re going to tell us everything you know.”
“I don’t think so. You two don’t have deep enough pockets for that.” Scar chuckled.
“But Sweetface,” Keralis said, batting his eyes, “I need to know! I need to! It’s important!”
“Well, what do you want to know? Maybe we can work something out,” Scar said smoothly, “make all of this unnecessary.”
“Oh, I’ll tell you. You know where Etho keeps his computer, yes? And his keyboard. And his tissue box. I just want to give him better things.” Keralis said, pressing his hands to his chest, “You just have to tell us where he keeps these things. It isn’t that hard.”
Scar shook his head.
“So that’s what you’re after…Well, no can do, Keralis. Etho swore me to secrecy. And is paying me handsomely.”
Keralis shrugged.
“Suit yourself. Doc? Take it away.”
Doc stepped in front of Scar with an evil smile.
“One chance. Tell us where Etho keeps that keyboard, and you can leave.”
Scar smirked.
“This ain’t my first rodeo, Doc. I’m not telling you anything.”
Doc just shrugged, and punched a button on the wall.
Scar spared a glance at Keralis, who was smiling benevolently.
A slimestone flying machine slid up, revealing a well-lit room on the other side of a tinted glass wall. In that room, Iskall and Gem sat on either sides of a table, chatting away with big smiles on their faces.
“That’s your method? Chitchat?” Scar raised an eyebrow, “This is pathetic.”
Doc leaned in, eyes blazing with menace.
“I wouldn’t be so cocky,” he said softly, “this glass is completely soundproof. They can’t hear a word we’re saying in there. But there’s speakers in the walls. You’ll be able to hear everything.”
Scar frowned.
“How’s that going to help?”
Doc grinned, and tapped a button on his wrist.
“Gem? Iskall? Time for you to earn your pay. If you’re both ready…we can begin.”
Both hermits craned their necks up to look at the ceiling. They both shrugged, and then they started to talk.
The speakers kicked on, and-
“No, that’s not right.” Gem said, “See, that Anakin guy was the bounty hunter, right? With the friend who’s dressed as a bear?”
“Oh, yeah, right. My bad. And then the guy in the like, blue and white trashcan, he’s…?” Iskall scratched his head and started to write something on a piece of paper.
Scar’s eyes bugged out.
“Doc. How long are they going to do this?” Scar said, beads of sweat staring to form on his forehead. His smile was gone.
“That’s up to you.” Doc said with a vicious smile.
“-Okay, I think I got this worked out,” Gem said, “so that Obiwobi guy fought off the Death Star with a sword?”
Scar screamed.
“Yeah, now you’re getting it. And then that Luke guy was all, “I am your father!” to, uh, what was her name again?” Iskall scratched his head.
“I think it was Lilo?” Gem said, “Yeah, definitely Lilo.”
Scar threw his head back and screamed.
“I’L TALK! I’LL TALK! MAKE IT STOOOOOOPPPPPP!!!”
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This fanbase is too fucking disgusting, and y’all wonder why some of your favorite writers and some friends you all have made on here are leaving.
Because of bullying and fuckery like this:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8ae9474b3268dee294cab9eeec50a811/b858f388ceac029d-7b/s540x810/b293c81333bc4fa439929d668d2263d8b8e273ae.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8432a3bcaa2221bff17fa1c572f9a542/b858f388ceac029d-f2/s540x810/791acba39c41f2e7794dd57fcaeccf7f56d2e161.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3b76ec9d577160c39189bb22b2278573/b858f388ceac029d-0d/s540x810/e9b31597a6fdc86d8750f1d7509fa7a56a452a09.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/28f10ee2d29a6860ed1291a2c6b58891/b858f388ceac029d-48/s540x810/1b320ecdab91df9081cfa23a24b5eed5a689a92e.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/36eda8c160796b9b2dc56198b313488c/b858f388ceac029d-e2/s640x960/3cab6c7041c6390522a48d42c80a07a294276071.jpg)
Yes, these are screenshots from that strange account @sturnioloexposing. YES.
I have this account blocked, but people come into my DMs always feeling uncomfortable and saddened by posts like these, and it breaks my heart to read the messages. And I think it’s about time that we have a real conversation about bullshit like this within our little community on this platform.
Obviously it is not just this account. There are other accounts that have come up who have tried to emulate this sort of content. But I’m calling out this one specifically as an example because they’re crossing lines that niggas shouldn’t be crossing on this app within this space. And the niggas hitting the like button on this shit are just as guilty and weird.
First of all, this account used to say “RUMORS” instead of “THEORIES”, and then when I clocked their ass about being weird since spreading rumors about people is a fucking no-go by any means, they were quick to change it to “theories”.
And you wanna talk about some damn lurking?? Nigga, you slipped your dick on the follow button while swiping through my shit. And you wanna get all stupid talking about some other account lurking you? Fuck off.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/50d73ae09cc4606fdbf6b6187a3a5c9e/b858f388ceac029d-83/s540x810/400d2a92ac9db37d81c19ec83710d12962cba502.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b3a390c651eadf8b5a1ae43fbdbca5e1/b858f388ceac029d-14/s540x810/9335d44fa22db9e2a30f6dc18be0e924f7511d4f.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c6543d9b76b4b4d2109309d28b1d0059/b858f388ceac029d-51/s540x810/66d9b9bf1f868f3ff1e7436964fcd0bae0605724.jpg)
You created a fuckass account just to incite people talking shit about others. You know damn fucking well your account wasn’t created to just “talk about fan theories about the triplets”. You came here to just be a weird nigga and make people feel bad for simply existing on this platform.
You even sent my mutual a DEATH THREAT. The fuck?1
Get the fuck outta here with this bullshit.
And now, I’m not an ass-licker of anyone’s. I have my own spine, and my mouth is clean from any shit anybody wants to say. But having some sort of fucking personal vendetta against someone and using your account to fuel bullying of any means to that person when they have NOT done anything wrong except just… exist, is FUCKED UP. Point blank, period.
And don’t say I’m doing that shit to you because you know you’re wrong as fuck for the shit you be doing, weirdo.
Using Rose @bernardsbendystraws as an example since y’all love to bring her up and she’s the recent target, I can tell a lot of people target her account, simply because she has a mind of her own and enjoys creating the content she makes on here. I don’t know her at all. We don’t talk offline at all. We’re just mutuals who respect each other’s work. That’s the extent of our relationship. But I can see that she’s just simply trying to be a creator, and I respect that. Someone asking for credit for shit that they create or edit is fair. Who the fuck are you to think otherwise?
You can dislike someone and the content they make. But creating platform that incites harassment and bullying, not even using actual things they’ve done wrong to provide as evidence for your animosity, is hell. And anyone who does that shit is lame as fuck. Y’all should be ashamed of yourselves.
I know bitches are gonna wanna argue with me and say some lame shit like “i ain’t reading all that” or “this is just tumblr” or whatever the fuck, but there are people behind these screens who come on social media to just have fun and chill out with others who share the same interests as them. And if you waste your fucking time hitting your thumbs on a “create account” button to just talk shit with some lame ass comebacks and fuel some unnecessary drama and weirdo shit within a fandom that’s supposed to be fun and chill and a little slutty, you’re a lame bitch.
And fuck any account who tries to make another godforsaken “expose” account on here. You ain’t exposing shit but your own malarkey, nigga.
If someone needs to be exposed for being an actual dickhead who’s ignorant or a weirdo who talks to minors or anything, let’s all band together and clock that shit as soon as possible. We don’t need no messy ass account for that.
Everyone report that damn account, and report all them other stupid ass accounts who swear they’re Regina George’s burn book who jerk off to getting their 20 likes on being sore instigators. Fuck outta here with that lame shit. Let Sturniolo fans be horny and shitpost. My GOD!
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Bokuto Koutarou x Reader Fic Recs!!(Tumblr/AO3/Wattpad)
Haikyuu! Fic Rec Masterlist
Fukurodani Fic Rec Masterlist
An Accidental Heroine ✨by meldve(oneshot, humor, fluff, crush at first sight)Yukie and Akaashi’s plans to hype Bokuto during a big game never fail. Or at least end in this way.[COMPLETED]
Crawling Back To You ✨by @kiesbrainjuice (oneshot, fluff, humor)the volleyball captain finally realizes his feelings for you and confess in a…crawling way[COMPLETED]
Cock Block by @oreosmama (oneshot, crack, slight smut)Bokuto just wants to get some, but the universe is not always on his side.[COMPLETED]
A Hairy Situation✨ by @oreosmama (Soulmate AU, oneshot, angst to fluff) Back home in America, YN was happy to dye her hair whatever color she pleased. But now that she’s transferred to Japan as a foreign exchange student, she realizes that she’s much closer to her soulmate than she used to be… hence why her hair looks like an explosion of black and gray. What an asshole.[COMPLETED]
when the sun loves the moon by sunmoonstarsrain (friends to lovers, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort)bokuto koutarou loves you. he can't help but tell the world. the downsides of dating a popular pro-athlete were not made known to you.[COMPLETED]
Swept up in the moment✨ by Teapots_and_Teacups Bokuto had asked you out and you'd said yes without thinking. So… now you're dating the captain of the volleyball team.[COMPLETED]
Inferior by MrsTanaka (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)Soulmate Au! In which the words your soulmate first says to you are tattooed on your wrist. You must hear the words spoken by your soulmate and they must be directed to you. [COMPLETED]
The Shoe Thief by aspiringauthorintraining (oneshot, fluff)You looked to Akaashi for help, but he only gave you a look of pity in return.[COMPLETED]
Azaleas and Periwinkles by @mimi-cee-hq (oneshot, fluff) Bokuto didn’t always like volleyball. He only started loving it in his third year of high school. So why was he playing volleyball in the first place? It started years ago at a flower shop with the cute tomboy girl from his neighborhood. [COMPLETED]
It's the assets ✨by PhysicalTurian(oneshot, smut)You accidentally sent a risky DM in Bokuto's instagram and delete it before he can see, but he definitely saw it. When you see him in the afternoon, he wants to talk about it, and you end up riding his thigh, which is only the beginning.[COMPLETED]
Lucid by madasahatter29(oneshot, fluff, tooth-rooting)Bokuto goes to the dentist to get his wisdom tooth removed. A.K.A. the wonders of anesthesia[COMPLETED]
honey thighs by twobirds (unrequited love, fluff, angst, first love, mutual pinning)Still on your knees, you watched Nekoma lose the second set in a row. It was hard to feel bad for your classmates when Bokuto bellowed your name, victorious smile crooked in place as he pointed a finger through the nylon net. “Wasn’t I amazing?!” All you could do was lift your camera to hide your smile.[COMPLETED]
Life's a Hoot ✨by ejqz (friends to lovers, idiots in love, slice of life, fluff, angst) After landing your dream job as an editor at a publishing company, you begin to realize all the missing and broken pieces you have neglected along the way. But when you and Akaashi attend a special exhibition match for a company project, you reunite with Bokuto Koutarou and everything swerves. The nostalgic, youthful high-school days are long gone, but good times still await you.[COMPLETED]
If It Ain’t Broke✨ by @oreosmama (oneshot, angst to fluff) You broke up with Bokuto for a good reason. At least, what you thought was a good reason. But right now you can’t help but miss him terribly, and according to Akaashi, he’s feeling the exact same. But did you really break him like his friend said?[COMPLETED]
Love Me Through the Phone by @oreosmama (oneshot, smut<18+>) After Bokuto leaves for an away game on Valentine’s Day weekend, you’re left to handle the day’s pleasures all on your own. There’s just one little problem–nothing comes close to what Bokuto could give you. Luckily, he offers a solution, and though it’s completely out of your wheelhouse, you find yourself desperate enough to give in.[COMPLETED]
Praiseworthy by @oreosmama (oneshot, smut)After winning his volleyball game, Bokuto comes over wanting to celebrate. The both of you sure know how to throw a thrilling two-person party.[COMPLETED]
heart attack by kuroopaisen (oneshot, fluff)your hot roommate likes to walk around without his shirt on.[COMPLETED]
please don’t by @mitsuki-murakami (oneshot, humor, fluff)You’re never going to be the same after this.[COMPLETED]
One Track at a Time by @seokiloquy (oneshot, single parent! reader)bokuto babysits your daughter [COMPLETED]
#fanfic rec#fanfic#fic recs#fanfiction#fic rec#fics#recommendations#fanfic recommendation#recs#fanfics#fukurodani#bokuto koutarou#bokuto x reader#haikyuu bokuto#hq bokuto#bokuto koutaro x reader#koutarou bokuto#bokuto x you#bokuto x y/n#haikyū!!#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyu x reader#haikyu fluff#haikyu smut#hq#hq x reader
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Happy Throwing Him Thursday!
KYLE CROUSE: Next question is from @rabbithaver. “In 2018, you wrote IDW Sonic #14, which contained panels of Silver being thrown by the ankle by Metal Sonic. On May 19, 2022, tumblr user @catgirlkirigiri posted those panels with the caption, 'Happy Throwing Him Thursday.' Now, every Thursday, Sonic Tumblr celebrates by partaking in throwing Silver. Each week, participants render their followers' dashboards unusable by reblogging those panels dozens of times in a row. People have drawn fan art. There are multiple videos of people throwing their Silver plushies, including one of him being hurled off a five story balcony. In celebration of the two year anniversary of the first Throwing Him Thursday, would you both please rank Sonic characters based on how far you think you, personally, could throw them?” [TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: The balcony mentioned was seven stories, not five, which is much funnier.]
youtube
IAN FLYNN: [in exaggerated horror] Two years?! KYLE: [laughing] IAN: My poor boy has been yeeted for two years?! KYLE: He’s getting yeeted! He’s getting yeeted like crazy! IAN: I feel bad! KYLE: [laughs] IAN: I’m glad folks are enjoying themselves, but… what have I done to the poor boy? KYLE: [still laughing] Ah, well, I mean, the fandom got a— the fandom got attached to it. To be fair, you know. You did it once. [chuckles] IAN: And really, the credit should go to Tracy Yardley and the other artists for rendering it, but hm… KYLE: True, true. [chuckling] IAN: Half-tempted to sneak in a panel somewhere. [as Sonic] “Happy Thursday, Silver!” [as Silver, panicked as he’s being reminded of his trauma] “WHY?!” KYLE: [erupts into laughter, then as Silver] “What is this?!” [laughs] Man, if you made a reference to Throwing Him Thursday, I think the— I think there’s a lot of Tumblr people who would melt down. In a— you know, in a good way. IAN: [chuckling to himself] Shadow just puts him off a— puts him out a window. [as Shadow] “Huh, is it Thursday already?” KYLE: [laughing] Oh, man… IAN: Anyway, characters that we could throw on a Thursday — or any day, really. KYLE: Any day. I could throw— I could throw— I could take Charmy. [chuckles] IAN: Yeah, Charmy, Cheese… KYLE: But then I’d have to contend with not being able to throw Vector and Espio as they murder me. [laughs] IAN: [chuckles, then as Vector] “Nice arm there, Kyle! Wanna see how [unintelligible] it is?” KYLE: [laughs] Oh! IAN: And I imagine Cream, but only because she wants to, like, take off, so she’s already got her ears ready, and you’re like, out in an open field, and it’s like throwing a kite into the air or something. She’s having a grand time, just, “whee!” KYLE: Yeah, she can fly. [chuckles] IAN: Uh… how heavy is Tails, actually? KYLE: Eh, I don’t think Tails is very, uh, heavy, and he’d fly, so… you know IAN: I’m gonna look this up real quick. KYLE: You could throw Froggy a little bit— [stuttering unintelligibly] a little bit far. You know. IAN: [as Big] “Once.” KYLE: Once. [laughs] IAN: Huh! Actually Tails is like, over forty pounds! KYLE: Okay, he’s a… IAN: That’s not really a throw, that’s more of a heft. KYLE: He’s a beefy— he’s a beefy boy then, huh? Wow. [chuckles, then reading chat] I’m being told that Ray was born to be yeeted. [laughs] IAN: [chuckles] You know that’s what he and Mighty do all the time. KYLE: Of course! IAN: It’s kinda like— it’s like with Cream! KYLE: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. IAN: [as Mighty] “Ready, little guy?” [as Ray] “Ready!” Woosh! KYLE: Yeah, pretty much, exactly. IAN: How much does Orbot weigh? KYLE: He’s pretty small, but he’s also a robot, so who knows how dense he is? Uh… IAN: If he even has an official weight… [Googling] Uh, he is— holy crap, he’s over sixty pounds! KYLE: Yeah, I was gonna say, he’s probably real dense. He’s got a lot in him. [chuckles] IAN: [sigh] I could probably pick him up and hmph, but yeah, I ain’t throwin’ that. Goodness. KYLE: The irony is that you’d think Cubot would be the dense one! IAN: [chuckles] Well, now I’m curious, if Orbot is sixty-six point one pounds… KYLE: He would be one really heavy bowling ball, at least. [laughs] IAN: Self-steering, no less. KYLE: Yeah! IAN: [Googling] Oh, wow. Cubot’s, uh, almost eighty-six pounds. KYLE: Oh! He’s dense— he’s even more dense! IAN: He’s a hefty boy! KYLE: [laughs] IAN: So, yeah.
KYLE: Nice. [chuckles] Yes. Ah, yes. [reading chat] Cubot, the honorable— or, Orbot, the honorable Whipple. IAN: [snickers] KYLE: Welcome to the Whipple family. [chuckling] I don’t know if we could really throw any of them? I mean, sure, a giant mech could throw Jewel, as we’ve established previously, but I don’t know if I could. She’s pretty— she’s pretty big for a bug. IAN: Yeah, I… she might need to be hefted, not really thrown. KYLE: Yeah, yeah. You could throw a chao. IAN: Yeah. KYLE: You can throw Marine, maybe. IAN: Well, now I’m curious, uh… Charmy’s like twenty-two pounds. KYLE: Why is he so freakin’ huge? He’s a bee! [laughs] IAN: And I would imagine Jewel’s at least that weight, so… KYLE: Y-yeah…? [stuttering] How heavy are pounds on Sonic’s world?! IAN: [laughs] I mean, you could still maybe throw Charmy, but you’d have to put your back into it. You’d have to, like, limber up first. KYLE: Yeah! IAN: And just because we brought it up, you know, the idea is Cream’s just kinda using this as an excuse to be thrown, but— [Googling] she’s twenty-six pounds. She’s barely heavier than Charmy. What in the world? KYLE: [chuckling] What? What?! IAN: But yeah, I could definitely pick her up over my head and kinda, fwoop, and then she’d flap and she’d fly, and she’d have a fun time. KYLE: Yeah, yeah… yeah, yeah, I think they’re all a bit too heavy. It’s that— it’s that dang Beach Ball Head Syndrome they got going on. [chuckles] Those giant heads, you know?
EPISODE THUMBNAIL by @kiimeranova (lines) and @nintendoni-art (colors)! Exclusive Throwing Him Thursday Variant HERE!
—— TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: Please remember that nothing that is said on BumbleKast is canon! It’s just some guys and their opinions occasionally spitballing ideas. If you don’t like an answer, you don’t have to take it as Word of God or anything like that. It’s all just for fun!
#silver the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#idw sonic#sonic idw#throwing him thursday#metal sonic#sth#bumblekast#ian flynn#kyle crouse#bumbleking#tumblr#Happy Thursday everyone! Hope you're all doing well :)#Youtube
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can you do the yandere dc boys with a hypersexual darling? i really love your writing and im glad you're back, its okay if you dont want to
𝐃𝐂 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆…
!!! 18+ THEMES, GN reader, mentions of riding in Bruce’s, basic delusional yandere shit, manipulation, mean Dick Grayson, teasing, horny Hal Jordan, Tim being a freak, there’s honestly not much to warn… that’s weird.
Freaks of Tumblr, I summon thee.
I do want y’all to know that, while I tried to keep the dynamics vague, this has more of a sub + bottom leaning reader. That’s usually my default when it comes to sexual yan!character asks unless specified otherwise. If y’all wanna see a more top and/or dom reader version, hit me the fuck up. I heart obliterating fictional comic book men. It’s actually my specialty.
This is also operating under the assumption that you’ll at least let them help you out when you need it. Like… even if you absolutely hate their guts, you’ll at least call a truce when you need it. A necessary evil kind of thing. Again, if you have something else in mind, let me know.
Bruce Wayne: Contrary to popular belief, playboy Bruce Wayne is not a sex addict. However. He is a darling addict. And while he can’t afford to get nasty all the time, he’ll do his best to accommodate. I can see him letting you ride him while he tries to get paperwork down in his office. Keyword being tries, seeing as his resolve is only so strong. He has a love-hate relationship with your hypersexuality, because while he loves how needy you are for him, his productivity lulls during particularly high spikes in your sex drive. One could say he’s suffering from success in this regard. Oh, noooo, his darling humping the pillows again. Whatever will he do? Guess he’ll have to call in sick again. Tsk. Tsk. What a drag, amiright?
Clark Kent: I think Clark has a difficult time separating sexual desire from romance and intimacy, so even if you view Clark as nothing more than your kidnapper, he’s definitely letting this feed further into his delusions. Surely, this means you love him, right? You arch into his touch and make all those sounds… that has to mean something! It’s because of this that he absolutely gives you what you need whenever you need it. As your (self-proclaimed) husband, it’s his duty to provide for you! And… okay, I’m not saying Kryptonian have some sort of built in horny-detector, but given his power set, he can probably tell when you need a little help. Is your heart beat slightly faster than usual? Don’t worry, honey, he’s on his way home!
Dick Grayson: Oh, he definitely doesn’t mind. The moment he realizes you’re hypersexual, not only does he have an excuse to touch you more, but now he has yet another variable he can manipulate about you. New favorite pass time unlocked: riling you up and teasing you whenever he feels like it. And you bet your ass he’s doing it in public, too. It’s just so cute to see you try to be normal when he knows you’re all flustered. He’s so fucking evil, getting you all sexually frustrated and practically making you beg for him to finally lend a helping hand. Of course, unless if you’ve been bad, he’ll never leave you pent up for too long; he’s got his own needs, too. Having so much control over your conditioning is just so hot for him, you know?
Hal Jordan: Sign him the fuck up. Hal’s probably no better than you, constantly having to keep up with his own sexual needs, so as soon as you finally accept your situation, this is a match made in heaven. Is he mean about it? Sure. But Hal would call you nasty names even if you weren’t so hypersexual, so don’t feel too bad about it. It ain’t sex with Hal Jordan if he didn’t act like a condescending jerk throughout it. Y’all definitely fucking every day (which means he’s 100% bringing you on Lantern missions; he’ll make it work somehow, just you wait), cuz a hypersexual darling coupled with Hal Jordan’s innate horniness is a dangerous thing to behold. This dynamic could not be more perfect for him.
Harvey Dent: So… Two Face lowkey kinda hates it. What do you mean you can’t keep your hormones in check? Come on. Get it together. He can’t always be there to deal with you. He’s got business to attend to, damnit. But Harvey, on the other hand, can almost empathize with you. He understands having impulses you can’t exactly control, and hey… he’s more than willing to help out. Get ready for Harvey’s sweet praises and Two Face’s degrading remarks, cuz of course they can’t agree on a tactic to go about your heightened sexuality. While Two Face wants to just outright bully this behavior out of you, Harvey actually wants to cultivate it as a way to make sure you’ll at least come to him for something. I think it’ll definitely feed into Harvey’s ego, and who knows… Two Face might actually come to like it.
Jaime Reyes: Poor guy would be at a moral crossroad. Khaji Da would be yapping about sudden spikes in your sexual arousal, but Jaime’s all like, “la la la, I can’t hear you,” because while he’s definitely aware of the fact that he’s crossed a few boundaries in the past, this just seems a little too far. He’s still trying to have some sort of respect for you, after all. It’ll definitely take you coming to him directly for him to actually do something about it. Please be patient with him. He’s got an evil fucked up bug in his brain trying to coach him through this, because it’s apparently not enough to just be nervous about anything sexual to begin with. You’re gonna have to call the shots until he gets the hang of things.
Tim Drake: Pot, meet kettle. Tim already has a shit ton of problems, so we might as well add hypersexuality to the list. Now, in my eyes, Tim is the biggest sub known to man, so if you’re the same way, this shit is gonna be messy. Like, absolutely no control happening. Y’all are just rubbing bodies against each other until something happens. But on the other hand, being more dominant means training him how to fucking behave. Bro is not above lunging at you and humping your thigh. Teach him how to properly touch you, and then you’ll maybe give him a reward. You might not be able to get rid of his fucked up tendencies, but you can at least use them to your advantage.
Wally West: He’d find it absolutely adorable. Much like Dick, this is a perfect way to manipulate you, but he’s at least much nicer about it. As long as you’ve been on your best behavior, his teasing isn’t anything malicious or cruel. Don’t take advantage of how nice he is, because he can quickly turn this into a learning experience for you. Make sure you stay on his soft and sweet side. I can totally see him reassuring you and talking you through it, his touches gentle and loving as to not turn you off. Upon discovering how hypersexual you are, he’d definitely coax you into letting him lend a hand like you were some sort of scared animal. “Hey, it’s okay… it’s not like you can help it, right? Here, wouldn’t it be much better if I helped? No, no, sweetheart, it’s no bother for me. In fact, I’d love to help. That’s it. Come on.”
#❥ INCOMING CALL: DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES?#❥ TW: YANDERE#❥ YANDERE CHARACTER#❥ ROMANTIC(?) YANDERE#❥ YANDERE BRUCE WAYNE#❥ YANDERE CLARK KENT#❥ YANDERE DICK GRAYSON#❥ YANDERE HAL JORDAN#❥ YANDERE HARVEY DENT#❥ YANDERE JAIME REYES#❥ YANDERE TIM DRAKE#❥ YANDERE WALLY WEST#❥ YANDERE VARIOUS X READER#❥ GN READER
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The Knowing: Being Queer in BL
I’ve been talking about The Knowing a lot lately with @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @ginnymoonbeam and @shortpplfedup and so I felt it was time to gather all those thoughts into one place.
I define The Knowing as “growing up and suffering with the knowledge that you are queer (specifically that you are not like other kids) and understanding that you must keep that knowledge to yourself.”
Part of what initially drew me to BL was how often many of these shows took place in what @absolutebl calls “The Bubble” where cultural and structural homophobia is less prevalent or nonexistent. Many of these stories are about guys learning something about themselves for the first time when it comes to being attracted to other men. However, I always find myself drawn to the characters that clearly Knew who they were a long time ago. What’s interesting about these characters is that many of them carry an intense sadness and loneliness that plagues them and their relationships.
I am in my mid-30s. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of language over the decades. When I first realized I was different from other kids I was eight years old. I was a lot like Chiron in Moonlight (2016) asking the question, “What’s a faggot?” I wish I’d had someone like Juan around to say, “A faggot is a word used to make gay people feel bad.” To which Chiron asked, “Am I a faggot?” and Juan quickly corrected. “Nah. You can be gay, but you ain’t gotta let nobody call you no faggot.” I know it’s hard for some of you to read slurs written out so plainly, but I grew up with them being part of the day-to-day language used by kids around me. If you instinctively recoiled at me typing the word four times, imagine experiencing that constantly for your entire adolescence while also fearing the consequences of being discovered by your peers. That’s what I survived. That’s what some of these boys survived.
Before I learned other words, I thought I was weird or broken. I knew I was drawn to boys before I even hit puberty, but I didn’t have language for existing on the ace-spectrum until I joined Tumblr in the early 2010s. Before that I just thought there was something wrong with me. When we see a character in BL who has clearly been gay for a long time, I find myself examining the environment around them to see if they suffered The Knowing.
The worst part of The Knowing is for the boys who can pass as straight if they try hard enough. I always talk about how I think femmes are stronger than those of us (like me) who can pass. They face the public scrutiny of being queer and the danger of that constantly. People like me often go unnoticed unless we’re amongst our peers or explicitly tell people who we are.
I’m writing this post as a love letter to the boys who suffered the Knowing. Sometimes these characters get a bad reputation in fandom for being boring or sad sacks, but they are the characters I love the most. I’d like to talk about some of my favorite boys who Knew. Unsurprisingly, the exact kind of melancholy Japan is willing to play with means they have strong presence on this list.
Korn (Until We Meet Again)
Korn is the character who began my discussion about this in a conversation with @wen-kexing-apologist about Kao’s acting. I pointed out that the saddest thing about Korn in Until We Meet Again is that he knew what he was going to do the entire time. The tragedy of UWMA is that Korn loved Intouch and let him in, and unfortunately learned that Intouch’s love couldn’t fix the horrors that plagued him. You can see it in Kao’s eyes for the entire show whenever we see the In and Korn flashbacks. He suffers under the weight of masculine expectation and crumbles.
The Entire Cast of What Did You Eat Yesterday?
WDYEY is all about characters who Knew. Kenji and Wataru may have been unable to pass and have chosen to accept who they are, but we know Wataru suffered for it because of his feelings about family. Shiro hid who he was for a very long time, and still hides it from most people. His trauma from The Knowing regularly threatens his relationship with Kenji. Kohinata also clearly knew who he was the entire time, and works diligently for the life he’s built for himself. So much of this show is about being gay in a world that does not value us.
Book, Christina, and Yok (Make It Right)
Book is actively victimized because of The Knowing. He left his previous school and doesn’t live with his family because he was outed by a past boyfriend, and is disowned after revenge porn of him is posted.
Both Chrstina and Yok are femme and cannot pass. Unlike many of the boys in this show figuring out who they are, they are trying to survive without losing themselves.
Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)
Li Ming has a gay uncle and still suffers The Knowing. He is hiding his attraction from everyone until he develops feelings for Heart.
Itou Akira (Life: Love on the Line)
We experienced the entire arc of this man’s life and how much The Knowing crushed him. This is probably the most The Knowing character on the list.
Oumi Mitsuru (Eternal Yesterday)
Oumi has such a frank expression of The Knowing and how much it hurts that he likes Koichi but feels like he can’t express it.
Takahashi Satoru (Koisenu Futari)
The man literally blogs about The Knowing, and it’s how Sakuko began to understand herself. He has a questionnaire prepared to help you figure out how long you’ve Known.
Ren (Tokyo in April Is…)
I wrote multiple posts about Ren and his experience with The Knowing. So much of what goes wrong for them is because Ren couldn’t believe that Kazuma could like him, too, and he knowingly faced the consequences of being discovered to save Kazuma’s life.
Pete (Love by Chance)
Pete knows who he is and can’t change it. Trump uses this against him. Pete doesn’t want Ae to be gay like him and suffer with the realities of being a Known Gay. Pete has one of the first coming out scenes in BL that I really enjoyed.
Cairo (Gameboys)
Cairo was clearly struggling with Knowing, and his close friend took his coming out from him. Cairo is a brat, but goddamn do I appreciate some of his angst.
See-eiw (My Only 12%)
He watched The Love of Siam (2007) and had a complete emotional breakdown as he was finally able to name his feelings for Cake. Top-tier expression of The Knowing.
Shin (3 Will Be Free)
I mean, we don’t have to look much further than his entire sad existence and being pushed into sex with a prostitute in the first episode. Also there’s, “It wasn’t that you didn’t like boys. You just didn’t like me.” Shin is the only boy in BL-adjacent media to suffer a specific version of The Knowing: being rejected and discarded by your own people in a homophobic way so they could stay closeted.
Phupha (A Tale of Thousand Stars)
Phupha’s entire romantic angst is built around The Knowing and what others seeing him for who he is will do for him.
Pran (Bad Buddy)
Though Bad Buddy exists in The Bubble, Pran has one of the most painful versions of The Knowing I’ve ever experienced because his is wrapped up in family angst and an unrequited crush.
Lee Wan (Our Dating Sim)
Lee Wan suffered The Knowing and broke things with his best friend after confessing. The Knowing destroyed his ability to see a version of his life where he and Shin Kitae overcame the upcoming challenges together and so he takes that choice from Kitae. Crushing.
Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)
Minoru is so familiar with The Knowing that he preemptively breaks up with Yutaka after kissing him.
Kiyoi (My Beautiful Man)
The reveal that Kiyoi already knew who he was and noticed Hira the entire time? Beautiful. One of the best reveals in J-BL history.
Minato (Minato’s Laundromat)
This man is one of the sadder examples of The Knowing because he’s in a place where he understands who he is now, but the internalized homophobia cripples almost all of his romantic and closer relationships.
Han Baram (Sing My Crush)
This boy is suffering so much from The Knowing that his love confession song is literally titled “Letter of Apology.”
Oh-aew (I Told Sunset About You)
He Knew. “Are you proud of me?”
Noh Shinwoo and Shin Daon (Light On Me)
Noh Shinwoo clearly suffered The Knowing and was discovered. His bullies still plague him on the streets when they see him. Shin Daon was not surprised by his attraction to Woo Taekyung; he struggled with his parents expectations.
Nagisa (His: I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love)
Nagisa definitely Knew who he was and was probably going to stay quiet about it until Shun showed up in his life. What upsets me so much about Nagisa is that he is the one who leaves Shun later in the movie after pulling queerness out of Shun.
The Secret Crush on You Quartet
All four of them get a spot on this list for The Knowing. Toh, Kaojao, and Daisy clearly suffered The Knowing, and Som has clearly taken care of them for a long time.
Rocky and Judah (Quaranthings)
I love that these two explore The Knowing from a class perspective. Judah is wealthier and eventually comes out, but Rocky is poor and struggles with it a lot longer.
Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook (Where Your Eyes Linger)
The Knowing, bodyguard edition. The yearning between the two of these is palpable. It hurts that they can’t even talk to each other about it.
Mafuyu (Given)
He Knew and lost his boyfriend to The Knowing.
Kim Dong Hee (Unintentional Love Story)
He won’t acknowledge Go Ho Tae’s feelings because he feels a sense of loyalty to Ho Tae’s mom for taking care of him after his parents disowned him over the gay thing. Huge case of The Knowing.
Edit: New Additions October 7, 2023.
Nekoyashiki Mamoru (Kabe-Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized)
He describes a textbook case of the Knowing and finding community at the convention.
Zo (Hidden Agenda)
He definitely Knew, and got messed over by his friends badly for it.
Yuuki (Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend)
We almost lost Yuuki to the Knowing.
All of the Eclipse Gays
Literally all of them. The entire show is about how fascism turns queer people into agents working against their own community.
Joe (The Warp Effect)
He clearly Knew before his encounter with Army, and he also suffered for being outed.
#Ben writes#The Knowing#too many shows to tag#what did you eat yesterday?#until we meet again#bl series#thai bl#japanese bl#korean bl#filipino bl
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And another year in the mix!! I originally wasn’t planning on posting these but frankly, I felt bad breaking my own tradition. My tumblr & instagram feeds are like my album, I’d feel sad not getting to look back on my review and my thoughts a year or more down the line. 2023 was busy and frankly a nice year in retrospect, but I don’t know if it’s me not having pushed myself enough or the Covid effect still making me feel like everything is going by super fast, but man did it go fast - and December’s already here and I don’t exactly know what to do with myself haha. I’m definitely a lot happier than I was in 2022 despite new complexities though, I feel full of resolve and drive and that is such a nice feeling.
Art wise I feel like my art is on its way to improvement, like it’s liberating itself somehow. I’m so ready to test things out and experiment and just lean into making it more expressive, more dynamic, more heartfelt in general. I’ve never loved my characters as much as I do now and I’ve found true friends in them (genuinely, these little guys won’t ever leave me, ain’t that a comforting thought) - and of course, irl, I’m so happy to have found such reliable and fun friends to cherish to navigate through the years together 🫶
I have cool things happening in 2024 so I’m just so excited for this new breath of fresh air. Fire!! Motivation!! 🔥
To all of you who follow my work and my journey even if it’s from far away, who make my art exist through you, thank you. Artists or not, you’re valued and precious and I’m so happy that you’re here. I hope that my account remains somewhere nice and that the silly shapes in my art keep making you think “Those tangents right there look awkward as hell but hey, it’s weird ass Mye Bi” afjshhfhd
I drew something fun for tomorrow, see you then for that post 💛 In the meantime, happy holidays!! May you and your family keep hope and health close, and my thoughts are with Palestine and Ukraine.
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Taking the Mikaelsons to a Concert
IK a bitch was gone, but a bitch is back… sparingly. I been on tumblr doing my shit but ummm I started this shit while in highschool like sophomore year… It’s been a year since I graduated college…. Anyway, fuck it we ball bc someone needs ot get this shit wet first with the Mikaelson’s… shout out to @starlightandfairies @wholoveseggs @klausysworld for holding it down. I love everyones work, y'all be feeding the fandom
If it’s snowin’ I ain’t going… leggo (once again, I write this for niggas. Mwah, to freedom)
So primarily I feel like the Mikaelsons would all be down to going to a concert, I mean Nicki, Doja, Lil Nas X, Mariah the Scientist, Chloe Bailey, Drake, Jhene Aiko, Victoria Monet, the Weekend, Kendrick Lamar, Travis Scott--- you get the point. You are the object of their desires and affections so they’ll go…. But what will ensue???
KLAUS
For nosey bitches in the back I got y’all…. This is Klaus finally biting the bullet and taking you to a Nicki concert, the Pink Friday 2 tour!
First, it would take hella time to even get him to go, this man is busy running lives, making hybrids, acting like he a real active party in whatever council shit he bullied his way into in New Orleans, and like running Rebekah’s love life…. He be busy
He probably feels like he should take you out for something, so he asks you what you want. Anything your heart wants he’ll give it no problem: private helicopter tour of NYC, a week in Brazil, couples massage, hell even go see puffins up in Iceland. But you know what your bitch ass asks for?
To see Onika Tanya Maraj…. As you should
This man is staring at you like “Love… who is that?” And you look at him and tell him “Nicki Minaj, Nicki Lewinski, Nicki the Ninja, Nicki the Boss, Nicki The Harajuku Barbie…. Have you not learned????” And he just stares at you in amusement like ‘it’s no Mozart, you modern women have such…. Vulgar tastes… but I will endorse this, for you my love”
Wait till he gets there AHAHAHAAAAA
You’re pulled up in all your glory, pink everything, sunnies on, gloss on, heels as big as his dick… And you know I don’t think Klaus would ever let you put him in pink spandex. But I think he’ll allow like a shirt of Nicki’s face on him, and like maybe a barbie chain on his neck… He’s a hybrid, he can’t be seen out like this (you def sent photos to the rest of the family of this).
I feel like Klaus would be chill af with the crowds and shit, until bitches start getting rowdy when Roman comes on stage. I feel like he’ll just be vibing, but mostly looking at you as you lose your shit
“A 100 MUTHAFUCKA CAN’T TELL ME NOTHING, I BEEZ IN THE TRAP”... bby chill, you’ll sweat that wig off and it’ll slip back. But deadass, it’s like another beast when she comes out and it activates something in you. Like the regular old human that Klaus knew of is gone, and is replaces by a bad bitch that would definitely put her shoe on his neck and he likes that
Funny enough, there is one song that Klaus would know all the words to… Moment for Life-- HEAR MY OUT, DAMN. Ok, the song is about literally getting everything you want and being at a point where no one can touch you or even fathom to be at your height of success or clout. Klaus Mikaelson gets whatever he wants, no one touches him-- or if they do, they won’t live long enough to tell the tale. King shit, so imagine your surprise when you hear this man over everyone else singing along and being into it
Yeah, did that shit. “What I tell 'em hoes? Bow, bow, bow to me, drop down to ya knees” Drake type man…. And towards the end just reminisce of all the people, woman, children, and villages he pillaged to get where he is now… mentally deranged, having a god complex and inferiority complex at the same damn time, and daddy issues while treating his siblings like his own dad LMFAOOOO
Good luck Klaus whores
And then when she starts bringing in old shit like the songs with Sean Kingston or Gyptian…. Oh boy, I know that man is catching a whine as you yell at him “YOU’RE SO PRETTY AND YOU’RE NICE YUH DUN KNO SEH NICKI AS YO WIFE” Ik you bitches telling Klaus exactly that and putting emphasis on wife bc where tf this Icelandic viking silverback think he going????
But as the show goes on, it’s a cute experience between you two as you guys kinda switch roles and you get to be super unhinged and rock out with the other people there and go bar for bar. Like you couldn’t fuck Michael Kors if you was FUCKIN’ Michael Kors
dabs sweat off my forehead
He’s happy to take you home and baby you when you come from the energy drop, but he will be wondering were that energy comes from bc you ain’t putting all that work in when he fucks you soooooo
REBEKAH
Ok so for this one…. Give me a Lil Nas X, Doja Cat, and Rico Nasty ass collab in a concert (bc that’s my dream lineup and y’all can take all my money). I feel like Rebekah needs the girl power and the gays for this so let me cook
I deadass feel you wouldn’t need to convince her of shit, she’d be the one to ask if you wanted to go because she’s heard some of their songs via you jamming in the bathroom and just booked tickets as soon as you said yes. Hey, it’s to make you happy and you deserved to be pampered-- and she’s trying to get in her modern experiences since she was in a box for a long ass time
1st song is Montero, it has to be she definitely wants to fucked out from the jet lag and becoming part of the mile high club-- it’s her thing. Plus she loves the glitter and probably being two glitter gay/bi/whatever floats your boat people that are dressed in matching outfits, but different color combos. Titties are out, and y’all are sprayed down in glitter
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/44a6cc1034d8f3cd5ec7736b5c15296c/090aa0e96733aaef-79/s250x250_c1/8109466e0d4dc7ec069763a83ecb8a76a3e87d73.jpg)
Then after that I feel like it would be Rico Nasty coming in hot with “SLAP A BITCH” and I know you and Rebekah felt this song on a spiritual level, so it’s both you screaming in each others faces while she has her arms wrapped around you bc she loves love.
Then it pops off with “STFU” bc a lot fo y’all hoes needs to take a seat and shut the fuck up when big bitches are in the room… anyways, personal issues. A lot of y’all do not need a mic and are not the big titty bitches y’all make yourself out to be… and take the mics away from podcast men, please. I BEG
But anyways, it’s really a whole anthem to all the rock/rap alt girlies out here. Rebekah isn’t used to the music, but she can get buck wild to it, especially when it comes down to Doja and RIco when they interchange with “Swamp Bitches”.... That’s my shit ngl
Nah bc opening a verse with “I WISH DEATH ON ALL YOU BITCHES” was insane… love you Rico <3 That song makes you wanna fight ever bitch in the state that ever did you wrong, every bitch working at goodwill that couldn’t take your brothers army discount bc you wasn’t personally in the army, the wack ass bitch at the post office that didn’t want to work there that day, and that grandma down the block that keep eyeing you and telling you that you ain’t hot shit… she wasn’t even hot shit when Project C hit the neighborhood and niggas were getting sprayed with hoses
Anyways
I truly feel like she’d appreciate the girl time with you, and just to be, and have her shit out and have fun. It’s what she deserves
KOL
THERE IS NO HEAR ME OUT YOU WILL LISTEN: NF
I know I been on the black artists wave, but for the niggas that really be feeling shit NF just knows and I feel like with Kols past of always being the forgotten sibling, not being i the pack of “always and forever”, dying all the fucking time, and getting treated like shit by everyone else unless they need to minute magical thing that’s super important he’s left in the dark
He is the most self-aware sibling out of everyone out this fuck ass family. And I feel for him honestly, being the black sheep, being the outcast. Being able to use your magic when you were a witch and then all of a sudden you can’t do that shit anymore because you’re dumb ass mom wants to make y’all fucking vampires and freaks of nature and then wants to kill you, like it was your fault in the first place? Shit was really whack.
Like he calls his family and siblings out for having a para social relationship that is super into emotional and measurements, and having no boundaries whatsoever, killing other peoples lovers, putting them in coffins just so Klaus doesn’t feel like he’s losing his siblings because he can always take them whenever he goes. But they’re still in a box, they’re not living life they’re not being happy. And that just shows how much class is really his daddy‘s son, even though his dad really isn’t his dad because his mom cheated on, her husband with a werewolf. And Kol clocks all of that.
So I feel that he would really vibe with NF, I really do. Therapy session, intro, hope, all of those songs the whole album really would have him crying in your arms at sometime around midnight when he just came over to listen to some tunes and have a good time, and I feel like you introduce NF to him. He gets hugged, and he knows that NF is speaking about his life someway somehow and it just really hits him and he just cries in your arms for that time
I don’t care how corny you think this man is, this is real music and he writes about things that are real, and that happens to him. The song mansion is legitimately about Kol’s life with being being abandoned and abused by his own family, and his own father, as class was taking most of the beatings, he still had to watch all of that. But being the middle child that he was, he just was overlooked, and that probably speaks as to why he acted out and didn’t get any of attention that he deserves.
And I feel that as Kol gets into a relationship relationship with you, you being his black queen, because I know that man was up in Hady for some reason helping him with the revolution. He just doesn’t give a fuck does what he wants to do so it makes sense why he would be with the black woman because it’s just everything, they are on earthly, they are Wisdom and magic and chest seal combined into a specific human type. And I love this for them, I love this for me.
But anyways, back to the subject at hand. I feel like you, dear reader, would surprise Kol with NF tickets because he’s been wanting to go for a long time, and you guys went dress up any fancy just probably black, cute little combat, boots and things like that. And then just head to the show. But as soon as the show starts, he probably starts off with one of his hard hitters. I’m imagining either therapy session, or mansion to really get the tears going. And it’s really just the two of you standing side-by-side, maybe even hand and hand shouting every single lyric word for word, and just letting out all the shadow work and trauma, that you two have built up over the past couple years, granted Kol is Literally hundreds of years old, and you’re probably someone your 20s or 30s. But trauma is trauma and y’all need to deal with that.
Bc deadass, these lyrics are Kol: “What's my definition of success? Listening to what your heart says. Standing up for what you know is. Right, while everybody else is” because in every single episode, when Kol says not to mess with some dumb shit that causes about to fucking do everyone else ignores him, even Elijah, and they fuck around and find out, and they all of a sudden need help. And then complain like no one told them exactly what the fuck was going to happen in the first place. This man is always right, and he needs people to listen more to him. He’s been listening to what his heart says, he’s been going out and meeting new people and trying to live a life that he would really be proud of. Even though he’s very much unhinged and still acts out because he wants to be king of the world and wants to have some form of control like Klaus has because he knows that he can never get away from Klaus.
And then, when I feel like it’s towards the end of the show, and NF finally drops, hope, I feel like that’s when Kol really starts to let go of things a little bit, and really start listening to lyrics and make a promise to himself with like, maybe fighting against his dark side, a little bit of all the things that he’s known, and then just digging himself a deeper hole. He wants to actually get better for you, and for himself to have a healthy relationship. Because he’s never had that in his life, and you’re just not a play thing to him at all.
“Thirty years of running, thirty years of searching. Thirty years of hurting, thirty years of pain. Thirty years of fearful, thirty years of anger. Thirty years of empty, thirty years of shame. Thirty years of broken, thirty years of anguish…. I’m taking the reins” so it’s really just him taking the reins of his life, and just making it better than whatever it actually was. And I hope that can be therapy, I really do. But this whole concert experience would really just be a gigantic therapy session for Cole, but also having fun with you because there’s no one else that he would let see that vulnerable and that lively and have his whole façade slip down like that besides you.
But he’d be a Drake fan, Travis Scott, and probably XXXtentacion… he’s still a menace, but he’s a healed menace…. well, healing.
ELIJAH
Here is the black womans whore himself… and my man *does the debby ryan*
I know that Elijah appreciates music in general, that man literally writes his own concertos, plays the piano, plays the violin. He is classically trained. And I expect nothing less. Honestly, he really is him. And he is also still very much worse than Klaus, even though he would like to believe that he is not.
Honestly, I don’t think you would really have to introduce Elijah to rap or hip-hop music. I feel like he would already be in Erykah Badu fan, probably really like the Beastie Boys, was into old school, underground in New York, hip-hop and rap. He was probably there, underground, too, for shits and giggles when he wanted a break. So no, I don’t think you would have to introduce him to hip-hop, maybe to a couple artists and everything. But, that doesn’t need help with that department
I feel like Elijah would definitely be a Kendrick, Lamar, J. Cole fan in the rap game and even Lil Wayne too. But I want to get into some good old Tom foolery before I say my crème de la crème.
With the whole Kendrick, J. Cole and Drake beef, that’s happening, I don’t think that Elijah would ever take any sides. But I do feel like he would definitely keep up with the news, even though you wouldn’t expect them to, with the whole suit and everything.
To start off, I feel like you being the reader would bring up the whole rap beef thing to Elijah. Since two weeks ago, you already brought up the Megan Thee Stallion versus Nicki Minaj rap beef that was happening. And now, this time it is Kendrick versus everyone, fuck the big three it’s just big me nigga BUM
And I feel like it would be brought up during lunch or something since you guys have lunch together, and you’re just giving him the whole play-by-play and then letting him listen to the song. And I feel like you need to play a couple times for him, so he really gets to like listen to lyrics and understand because one thing about it is…. Metro dissed everyone in morse code
NAHHHHH CUZ YALL NOT HEARING HIMMMM BEEP BEEP BOOP NIGGA
Mans said “BUM” with his chest
Like I know, J. Cole was on his bike on his way to the studio. As soon as he heard what Kendrick Lamar said, but then again, he could also not be doing anything because he’s not the type to just be on Rappy just to get some shit going you know?
But anyways, I feel like Elijah would totally indulge in this, and he would write down a whole play-by-play with what everything means because the power money and respect? “Sweetheart, Drake is the money, Jermaine Coke is the respect, and Kendrick is the power….” I can fully foresee that man giving you a dissertation on every single line and lyric and how it is a jab at every single one of them, and the meaning is behind it. You got not only a history professor, but one of the great literary investigators of all time for no reason.
I feel like Elijah is low-key. Also waiting for Drake and J. Cole to respond to what Kendrick said about them. And he’s so messy, for he really is, because he acts all high and mighty but he’s really waiting for the gossip about what people about to say
But moving along from the rat beef, I really do feel like this man would be a Lil Wayne fan because Lil Wayne was setting a standard early in the 2000s and probably even before then about how he really is one of the best rappers out there. Like, no one else was doing it like him and no one else doesn’t like him, and will never do it like him. You would catch yourself humming to a Lil Wayne, and I feel like that man would pick it up instantly, and just go bar for bar on whatever humming note that you were on and it’s amazing, but it seems so out of character for him, but it’s really not.
Because this concert is going to be one hell of a trip because first and foremost he is not going there with a suit on, you’re going to have to get this man to be casual. Which shouldn’t be hard because he loves you, you’re his little chocolate drop, pumpkin. But putting this man in a leather jacket and some jeans and whatever shoes that are comfortable for him to wear at this concert is gonna be one thing. Fighting off other bitches while in the crowd is going to be another thing entirely as well.
But listening to him, actually let lose for the good two hours that you’ll be there at the concert screaming at your lungs, and listening to this man stay on rhythm beat and have actual breath control when he’s going for a speed to is going to be insane in mind melting
Let’s be honest, you wanna fuck this man on the regular basis just because he’s him. But you’re telling me that he’s cultured and he can wrap and knows what the fuck he’s talking about?
Coochie hours have been extended
And it gets even worse when he knows that this turns you on so anytime that you turn back to look at him he’s already looking at you, wrapping the verse with little to no effort and giving you those bad eyes because he just knows. He knows what he’s doing to you and you have no Other choice but to either look away or to hold eye contact because we both know this is gonna end up messy when you guys get back to the Airbnb or hotel room
“I said, "He's so sweet, make her wanna lick the wrapper" So I let her lick the rapper”, and this mans eyes are dead set on you and his gives the lip bite… Yeah yeah… time for me to gooooo
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