#if you need to go on a sick leave
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new psychiatrist seems really cool

#we'll see how the meds work for me i have another appointment next month#decided not to go on a sick leave for now but talked to her abt my bad experience with that other psych#and she was like considering your last experience i want to say you dont have to be scared or ashamed to ask#if you need to go on a sick leave#so that was nice#she also said when we get my depression and anxiety under control we can figure out the adhd meds yay
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AU where Leo is trapped in the Prison Dimension for months instead of minutes and the only way he gets by with his sanity intact is through recording himself talking to his wrist comm.
When they finally manage to get Leo back and make him rest up to heal, Donnie can’t help but listen to the recordings left behind.
He’s not sure what exactly he’s expecting, only that his subconscious is screaming at him that it has to be heartbreaking, that it has to be torturous.
Instead, what Donnie is subject to is a full thousand hours’ worth of Jupiter Jim and Lou Jitsu crossover fanfiction. More than one part in the series. Spanning well over a million words.
(The worst part is that it’s actually good.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#donnie keeps the comms going on in the background as he works#when he gets to the end he’s like what the hell…where’s the rest#donnie: leo where’s part nine#leo barely cognizant after not needing sleep for months: whuh-#donnie: you can’t leave it at a cliffhanger. leo. leo where’s the next part.#listen leo has a great memory for his special interests this is CANON plus he’s a great talker so he would totally be able to do this frfr#whenever he needs to be quiet he’s SILENT but otherwise he’s regaling the exploits of his idols to the captive audience that is The Photo#sometimes Krang sneaks up on him and just listens to him talk like ????#it starts both as leo trying to comfort himself with his favorite things PLUS comfort himself with thoughts of his father#as splinter makes his own crossover fanfiction when sick lol plus he’s Literally Lou Jitsu#and yes krang ALSO gets a bit invested#leo notices the reduction of Ouch but hey more time for rambling fanfic for him 👍#idk leo’s a damn good actor/liar/planner/schemer and I genuinely think that can pivot into storytelling so well#the literal second mikey’s hands heal donnie zooms to his side with hand stabilizers and a request to draw ‘scene 82 from recording 3’#mikey’s like what#so obvs now HE needs to listen as he works#he too gets invested#he comes across raph who mentions having trouble sleeping#mikey: have I got the podcast fanfic for you!#it only somewhat helps raph sleep#somewhat bc sometimes he forces himself to stay awake to hear the rest#yes these recordings go to the whole fam and leo is none the wiser#they don’t even mean to hide it it just never comes up lol#it’s only when donnie FINALLY makes it to the end of the recordings that he confronts leo to continue the story#leo: oH YOU HEARD ALL THAT HUH-
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i cant lie..... waking up to your roommate getting off and trying to moan as quietly as she can while the nastiest stickiest sounds are coming out from between her legs and trying so hard to pretend your asleep still while your cheeks burn so you can hear her finish is. Peak
#ok to rb#the thought of the sound of sticky wet sounds passed through my head and this is what came from it#hhhhhhhhhhhhhh#esp love when u can TELL SPECIFICALLY SHE'S TRYING NOT TO MOAN CAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANNA WAKE U BUT NEEDS TO GET OFF NEAR YOU 😩😩😩😩#something about me: im SUCH a vouyer. a peeping femme. i literally get such a sick kick out of watching ppl esp if they “dont know”#im so excited to go to next month kink event as my wifes fucked up little vouyer bunny (since i cant play bc i wont be cleared by then)#i AM the pet at the foot of the bed. i am not leaving. you cant make me#bunnyprints
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powerful mental image of lucanis expounding passionately about any given one of his limited but extremely deep areas of interest (the wyvern/knives/coffee/cooking/murder continuum of lucanis dellamorte special interests if you will) while rye lounges around and Beholds him with palpable twink boutta pounce energy
#having lucanis really go off about something no matter what it is is a rare and precious gift for rye specifically. free aphrodisiac#honestly rye's version of that might initially be subtle enough that only davrin would notice it (and suffer accordingly) lol#'could you guys do that while I'm not here. I'm starting to feel sick' '*perfectly innocent rye voice* do what davrin? I'm not even#doing anything :}' 'yeah you're doing nothing with a lot of subtext rook there are whole chains of footnotes here I'd rather not know'#very funny idea of rye leaving the top button of his shirt open (which means about one centimeter of throat exposed. to be clear)#to go to dinner b/c that is enough to make lucanis completely lose his train of thought every time he glances over#and davrin with half his glorious booba out at all times shaking his head at rye across the table like 'you harlot (affectionate)'#(may I remind us all that his first crush was viago de riva. I remind myself of this at least twice a week b/c it's one of my few sources#of joy and delight these days. rye only gets as mean as viago under very rare and specific cirumstances but I think that#might be lucanis' equivalent aphrodisiac material lol. whenever rook gets tried to the point of showing his hand that not only#IS he actually very clever he also has the capacity to be a *bitch* when provoked lucanis finds his trousers suddenly a little tight.#man something here about both of them struggling with holding on to their anger yet actually finding it appealing in the other person#that's actually kind of moving as well as hilarious haha. rye losing his cool and being like 'oh fuck my cover is blown yet again#now everyone will know I am an asshole actually' and meanwhile lucanis is like 'I need to kiss him under the pale moonlight' <3#something something nothing is more beautiful to me than the fullness of your nature getting to witness the full spectrum of your being#'*davrin facepalming just out of frame as they gaze upon each other like this* literally what did I just SAY!!! assan avert your eyes#this is grownup stuff. weird-ass grownup stuff I don't fully get and yet I suppose it takes all kinds etc. but still grownup stuff')#davrin being the baffled witness to the intricate yet extremely low-key mating dance of two introverts is something that can be so personal#he clocked them from the moment they showed up to recruit him (which to be clear is before either of these two dumbasses realized anything)#and now he has to live with it <3 sorry davrin I love you davrin#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#lucanis dellamorte#davrin#from my tag rants etc.#rook x lucanis#rookanis#holding on to my sanity and will to live by a shred but with how coherent and sane this is I'm sure it's not even noticeable
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my manager is trying to get me to go to our boston location again and asked me to go this friday and i said no !!!!!!! and i gave no explanation !!!!!!!!! this is a first for me 🫨
#my sister is visiting friday !!! absolutely not#AND I HATE IT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!#i hate driving there and being there and everything about it#going there sm this month is one of the things that pushed me to finally quit#bc she can’t find anyone to manage it#and she started saying stuff like. oh you can drive up once a week to check in !!!#as if this doesn’t make me extremely anxious#bc it also takes time away from my store and my team#and we’re already running thin on coverage#anywayyyyyyy im kinda sick about it but i said no <3#i told her today that one of my coworkers quit and she looked. so stressed#little does she know that another one is quitting in a couple weeks#i’m trying to give her a heads up like hey you need to prioritize this store#bc she’s focusing so much on boston when it doesn’t make any money !!!#my store will make 10x what they do ! and yet she’s about to see it fall apart bc she doesn’t care enough to check in#idk. i was sad about leaving but now im excited lol get me out of here pls#gg txt
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I think constantly about Pudding and Sanji being obviously parallels of each other and how fucked up it is that Pudding had to live the life Sanji managed to escape but she constantly gets hate online as if she hadn't been literally manipulated by her mother through the whole fucking arc. But okay. Yes. God forbid women have any sort of trauma response and if they do they're not allowed to have a redemption arc because of course they're extremely evil for making your silly baby boy cry and they don't have a heart even though it's explicitly shown in screen that they do and they regret their past actions.
#sorry every time i see people hating on pudding i have to defend her with my whole soul#it's a physical need it's a condition if i don't do it i collapse#sick and tired of people babying male villains but the second a woman does something wrong she's a monster#ofc what she did was wrong and it honestly fucked me up too but give the girl a chance she obviously regrets that and she's not like that#i mean she IS like that she's a little bitch and i love her BUT you know what i mean#also even if she were evil like that ??? i've seen so many people complain about her as if they didn't love worse villains lmfao#pudding is the representation of a teenage girl with mommy issues and a lot of drama going on in her life leave her alone#one piece#charlotte pudding#black leg sanji#whole cake island
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I got so insanely mad while drawing this


+ closeup and normalness
#alek art#zane julien#previous master of ice#ninjago#lego ninjago#2024#aka the scene i wish we got in snake jaguar ...#zane is like 30 here#im mostly thinking about dr juliens perspective on this night. we have very little to go off of but he was very weirded out#random very sick old man shows up at your door and takes an “interest” in your son. he isnt even over for an entire day. with him comes col#he was striken with winter and something about him felt off. he leaves without a word. after his arrival your son begins acting weird.#then another old man arrives. asking for your son. wonder what happened there#for anything about passing on powers or losing them its always some big event... hm#i think the previous master really did need shetler. we know he was old and died shortly after the power giving. i dont know what about#zane caught his eye. i do think its very interesting that this man of few words was so obviously fascinated that dr julien noticed.#dr julien isnt the most socially aware and in the little bit he said about the previous master... he sounded concerned#imagine weirding out the weirdest man alive#i think zane caught on too. he felt eyes on him the entire night. they ate dinner with the man.. gave him shelter... but he felt he wanted#more. sometime that day he gave zane the power of ice. which effectively changed the course of his entire life. zane and dr julien hadnt a#clue what happened. 'yesterday a man arrived' so not even within a day did he see zane and decide that he was the one#thinking about how zane acting like his self now is 'strange' and was out of the ordinary. what was he like before? how do you even pass a#power down. we see people get their powers stolen and its always a spectacle and its so exhausting and so on. how did dr julien not see#anything. there was no questions? he just noticed the previous master found his son interesting and then he left ?#goddddd im insane i wanna write a fic about zane pre series
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i think you can be as critical about the venezuelan opposition and maría corina and edmundo as you want but arent venezuelans allowed to choose for themselves even if the options arent perfect? are you willing to justify electoral fraud and police brutality, class inequality, bad management of resources, lack of maintenance of the country, breach of the law, lack of investment in health services and education etc etc just because the person doing it is someone you like or because you don't like the other option? are people at fault for wanting something different?
#i don't like idolizing politicians either in fact i dont think anyone should#a government official being good to the people would literally just be doing their job#but there are reasons for how much people love maría corina as of now and it's because shes one of the few members of the opposition#that has not completely given up on us or just sold themselves to the regime#from the days of chavez and when nobody would pay attention to her or think she would accomplish anything#people are allowed to have hope#and im very sick of this tendency to dehumanize other countries(particularly those from the third world)#and act like they cannot defend themselves or choose for themselves#when they try they are told not to and to let others do the job. how fair is that?? who are you helping?#if maría corina and edmundo fail us it would just turn into what we are already living through. we know it already#if they keep their promises and things go well or at least better then yay!#but we know what's going to happen under maduro#the country will keep deteriorating until everybody either dies or leaves#or people will keep living miserably#i thought people liked the idea that you shouldnt have to work out of your ass to have your neccesities covered!#well people are exploited here on the daily and don't have access to half things they need#let alone pursuing their dreams. theyre not allowed to dream#it's either we die or we don't die for me#i want to see my country healing thats all. you think maduro will give us that? absolutely not#it's always like this with countries that others view as just a land of natural resources or as a land of dumb poor people to project onto#just allow us to see where this goes. it's what the people chose. respect it.#oh ok vent over#Venezuela#this is very messily written i havent had breakfast yet#not to mentionnnnnnnn people on other places know what it's like having to choose for the lesser evil but when vzla does it it's wrong. lol#chavismo is not going to save anyone other than the regime. even chavistas themselves die under it#a lot of us were born under chavismo and want to see life outside of it
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saw an ai hater on tiktok say she doesnt feel threatened by ai bc ultimately art is made by freaks passionate enough about something to make something of it, and humans are weird and we cant help wanting more of each other. AND THATS SO. ahhhdiif art, always, no matter how serious or deep or carefully crafted, Always as an honest expression of humanity, as a real reflection of the shit going on in its creators head, and those reflections of a person inevitably being some flavour of weird bc thats just . human. and we crave that!! we need it!! and ai cant recreate that because it cant do anything new or genuine. something something we are a ceaselessly lonely species and theres no connection quite like the one we find in eo
#nyxi cant stfu#idk its late and my period is late so blame the hormones but. wuagh we need companionship and understanding#underconsumption of the two leaves you sick. we call ai slop but genuinely consuming ai 'art' or interacting with chatbots or even engaging#with academia through chatgpt and shit its all just. its like you could cook yourself a meal or go out looking for one at a restaurant#and instead youve gone to the communal vomit pot where the vomit of millions of people has been collected from their toilets without their#knowledge. and youve just started ladling that shit into a bowl and slurping it#thats not a substitute for real shit#read some actual fucking literature look at real fucking art read actual academic texts and fucking sit and think about all of it#go talk to real fucking people#if nothing else then literally for your fucking health😭
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the ’men who want you to steal their hoodies and oversized t-shirts more than anything in this life’ club is ruled by suguru and oliver i fear ……………..
#dont give in to oliver#he needs to be humbled#sugu can have anything he wants though <333#i just feel so strongly that these two in particular have this . very intense fixation on it 💀#very very intense#it makes them sick in the head with love#intimacy is a drug to suguru … also he’s possessive#so having you in HIS clothes . wow#oliver is similar but also it’s different#i think the intense intimacy makes him feel . Things . he doesnt understand#so he’s just like :) hhhhhhhhhhhhhh#wants to bundle you up and SQUEEZE u like a big snake#has to go on a run immediately to be normal#i hate him . do not want him to hold me#not even a little bit !!!!!!#(i should be working on a uni assignment btw but this thought wouldnt leave me)#ari noises ✩#selfshippy stuff ✩#(….. sweats)
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I was reading back through caged lungs and I realized just how many times Donnie got hit in the head during the last fight and how hard, no wonder Leo is concerned about brain damage.
Also, when Donnie goes to see April at the end of chapter 2, is he just dissociating really hard or is that an actual physical symptom from the…everything really!
not to mention the oxygen deprivation with raph throttling him! the last fight is so visceral and nasty and it was the final nail in the coffin when it came to donnie's issues physically and mentally, because although he would have been terrified of them regardless i dont think it wouldve been "inconsolable screaming heap at the sound of raph's voice" like it was in the early bit of CW.
and id mark that as dissociation personally. the second he registered as being in relative safety he kind of shut down because he wasn't able to process it, which had kind of been a running coping mechanism through the last month or so of CL. MIND YOU: IT IS NOT HELPED ALONG BY THE BRAIN FOG CAUSED BY HIS TIME IN ISOLATION, its a nasty concoction of problems. and also yeah physical exhaustion definitely doesnt help! he ran all the way to april's apartment while actively starving, after all.
although itll get better after [REDACTED PLOT THREAD] is handled, i think dissociation is gonna be something donnie will be dealing with for years, because spending four days in a quiet, enclosed dark space has some extremely messed up consequences for your brain and body. it was also in general something he used to cope under the abuse, so i could see him having issues with it when he's not in his right mind (sick or sleep-deprived, for example), i could see him regressing back to that old mindset when something like that happens. his perception of reality is permanently a little fucked :(
#ask#canary continuity#theres a lot of factors you have to put together for donnie's behavior right now#he's been so stressed that he's been running a low grade fever#the consequences of being in solitary are still taking a toll on him#his brain automatically shuts down as a coping mechanism when triggered#and he's absolutely dealing with both ptsd (notably about the closet the final fight and mikey attacking him in the kitchen)#AND cptsd. he definitely has cptsd. this is for absolute certain cptsd#+ he's still on some strong painkillers which are distorting his perception of reality#the source of the nosebleeds could very well be stress to be optimistic. but. well =) who's to say#everythings horrible but donnie is STILL too overwhelmed to process#its going to hit him very soon and its not gonna be pretty!#also despite his developed claustrophobia ive been haunted by the mental image of him waking up sick and immediately trying to hide-#-under his bed like a YEAR after all of this and Ouurgghhh#one of them comes looking for him when he doesnt leave his room and he just claps his hands over his mouth when he hears their footsteps#and his mind is just an endless mantra of “hes going to find me hes going to find me hes going to find me”#he doesnt know what he's so scared of. he just knows that something bad is going to happen and he needs to stay quiet#(remember when leo dragged him out of the laundry room? that left scars)#just thought i should share that cause it wouldnt leave my brain <3
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#WHEN WILL HE LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE OH MY GODDD GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEADDDDDDDDD#HSHQKEJWBEBQKEIWKHTQJEQBEBEQ#HE LIKES OVERTHINKERSAJGWHNBWWNDB HE NEEDS TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE#he's so bad for my health i genuinely feel sick#shhsvdgdjjgfjjgfjbfvggrbldbsdhdk#stupidfuckign guy why don't you go and hangout witj your brother instead of tormenting me hm#i want to throw things at him#misae
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can i PLEASE stop crying over EVERYTHING
#a little bit sick of it! tbh!!!#yes i'm giving myself grace yes i'm letting myself feel whatever i need to feel yes i'm being kind to myself#but i can also be kind of fed up with it all!!!!#iiiiiii would like a huuugggggg. i miss my friends i miss england i miss people and yet i freaking still leave them on read for months#i keep crying about like seven Separate Things i'm! a little tired of it!! tired of myself tired of my discontent tired of my annoyance#& frustration#i don't know what i'm supposed to be DOING with my life trying to pray feels like shouting at a brick wall bc my doubts are so much louder#than the Holy Spirit i'm sick of job rejections i'm scared every time something is even a Tiny bit wrong w my body i'm Fine i'm Good Even#everything is going to Be Okay i know. also change is happening that i cannot prepare for & every change is a loss in a way & i'm LONELY!!!#aaaand i'm :) terrified of being lonely for the Rest Of My Life :)) aaa#okay. i'm. i'm done complaining i Need To Be Done complaining#i need to text my landlord and try Again to ask for a ride to church on sunday and find Something to eat.#elle rambles#.......not my best day. clearly. i love you all thanks for being here my dear friends in my phone <3
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an entirely expected side effect of me whipping out my old external HDD is that now I AM going to rewatch basically the entirety of my canon game of Inquisition that I had mostly recorded back in like '15-'16, and get my heart torn right out again by this damn guy making this damn face
he deadass goes "😢" doesn't he
#squirrel plays dragon age#dorian pavus#turn that frown on your expressive-ass face upside down or i swear i'll get my guy to kiss it off you#and THEN you'll be sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway i just rewatched the trespasser scenes and that “*you* are the man i love; amatus” took me out for a solid two seconds#clutching my chest; i am once again claimed by the sickness folks#going from “you learn not to hope for more; you'd be foolish to” to “nothing will truly keep us apart” is just.... chef's kiss#.... and yeah i'm more and more sure as time goes on that they were fully setting him up to be a returning character#whether it actually winds up happening or not; i feel like the setup is very deliberate#just by virtue of him leaving no matter what; even though in a romance he clearly doesn't want to and even says as much?#with the lines implying that he had more or less promised the inquisitor that he would stay?#it feels very intentional. like they were trying to make the ending of the romance satisfying and open to be continued#WHILE making sure that he is where he needs to be for the plot
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How am I supposed to be normal when I have to wait a whole week for Grover and Annabeth to learn Percy isn’t actually dead and they didn’t just loose another friend who sacrificed themselves to buy them more time and Annabeth didn’t just loose one of the only people who ever cared about her without making her earn it all because she wasn’t able to see he was tricking her and Grover didn’t break his promise to Sally and do you understand me? That after Percy fell Echidna and the chimera would have come after Annabeth and Grover which could only mean one thing and they had to leave the arch believing they failed? How long do you think they had to wait until Percy came out of the river? How long did they sit beside each other, not saying a word because they failed, they failed again and now they have to finish this quest alone?
#NO BUT SERIOUSLY DO YOU REALIZE HOW SICK GROVER MUST FEEL#he was supposed to keep percy safe#it was his entire job#sally made him swear it minutes before she died#percy chose him to come on the quest specifically because he believed grover would always have his back#annabeth was tasking him to take care of percy and get him to the river#and grover wasn’t able to stop him#percy was sick and half dead and grover still couldn’t stop him#you’re telling me you’re just going to make me leave him like that for a whole WEEK?#that poor BABY????#unacceptable I need a time machine right now#i’m so serious that cliffhanger was so rude and disrespectful i’m going to fight richard riordan in a denny’s parking lot#percy jackson disney+#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#percy jackson spoilers#grover underwood#annabeth chase
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walter: we’ll happily share our findings if you’d like to joint forces.
misty: i’d rather jump out a window.
#nat would’ve loved that line sm#walter tattersall#misty quigley#you tell him misty!!!#yellowjackets#i’m so sick of walter lol#like leave my girl alone already!! let her mourn her wife in peace!#she’s made it clear she doesn’t want you#she’s made it even clearer she doesn’t need you#go. away.#i’m sorry i’m just reallyyy starting to hate him after that last episode
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