#if you make the obvious joke the bomb will blow up the entire building

[biometricmeat]

Vessel of the Crimson Night, Fallan

[space-blue]

Hot Take : Jinx is a DICKHEAD actually~

Before you grab your pitchforks, let me state I'm a big fan of the girl and believe she's the heroine of the tragedy that is Arcane season 1. I hope my works and other meta prove that. She's definitely a poor mew mew and one of my blorbos. That being said, there's a tendency in the fandom to really treat her as a victim, mostly due to her age, her mental illness, and alarmingly, her relationship with Silco.

I was discussing with some fandom friends how much the Silco&Jinx relationship can get skewed, and @book--wyrm pointed out he's a real pushover when it comes to her. It's really the best term, but it doesn't even begin to establish how terrible a person Jinx is.

So let's take a closer look at things...

First off, Jinx has the most insane body count in the show :

I'm censoring the last picture for obvious reasons.

22 people confirmed on screen. 23 if you count Silco. In the space of like 72h. Add to that the one henchman she shoots in ep. 4, who we never see again and can presume dead, the crow she shoots in cold blood (before collecting its feathers and using them as furniture decor and bookmarks), and arguably Mek, who, although not dead, was a loyal member of the gang since prior act 1 and is now in Stillwater.

At no point in Arcane is Jinx shown to feel or express remorse over any of her killings. The only time she says she's sorry is after shooting Silco, which hardly counts as it was done in a haze, etc etc. Even when Silco screams at her for killing enforcers in ep. 4 and potentially ruining his plans all over again, she nods at him happily and laughs it off. She's extremely casual with human life.

The first Firelight deaths are the only ones that count as "on the job" but it's debatable if killing was part of the assignment, as Sevika is extremely pissed and says "you were supposed to protect the cargo", which IMO implies that she wasn't supposed to go and "kill everyone". This wasn't a bait operation designed to kill them. Silco defends Jinx's action because he's weak for her.

All subsequent kills (I'm excluding Silco going forward) are for her own gain or her own vicious pleasure. And she is vicious, and even sadistic.

In the ship she uses her monkey sign to stress out her victims and the "BOOM" on the swing is basically just a joke between herself and her prey.

Likewise when she blows up the enforcers : a fire would be a fine distraction. She could sneak in and out again and steal the gemstone. But no, she wants time to deface the workshop to be dramatic and extra. So she kills a bunch of people in an explosion.

Not just any explosion, but one with again her signature monkey calling card, and on top of that a recording, faking the voice of a little girl to make sure she'll bring in as many do-gooders inside the building as possible.

Then she turns it into an in-joke. A joke between herself and a bunch of soon-to-be-dead people, referencing her own past. As self-centred as it is cruel.

You have to close your eyes and picture her sitting at her workbench in her lair, setting all these bombs on "record" and faking being a little girl... This isn't an in-moment thing. Jinx almost never improvises. Like everything in Jinx's life bar her first meeting with Vi, it is coldly planned and calculated and utterly fucked up. Again, afterwards she shows no remorse and is amused at Silco's ire. Clearly stealing the gem makes everything worth it, because it'll show him she's "not weak". She isn't computing further than that.

Hence this particular episode also shows a pretty strong disregard for Silco as a person. His entire life's work is this long con against Piltover. She doesn't ask or suggest doing this heist, she just does it. Not because she believes it'll be helpful for Silco's plans, but simply to prove herself after freaking out for having "shown weakness". She could have ruined everything, and though she gifts Silco the gem and hugs him, she doesn't apologise. Silco certainly bends in a pretzel to brush the consequences off of her afterwards though, pushing Marcus to blame the Firelights.

Her disregard for life/collaterals/consequences even extends far enough that she nearly shoots her own sister.

I was originally a little mean to Vi as right after this we're shown Jinx truly defending her life and Vi is all like "Powder, no!" As if she's horrified to see the change she just told Jinx she accepts and understands. Vi felt hypocritical.

Although some of the hypocrisy remains, I think Vi's shock is more directed towards Jinx's clear enjoyment of herself as she gets so into this killing biz that she nearly hits her.

Again later on the bridge Jinx is shown to shoot directly at Vi (even if you use the argument that she's trying to divide Cait & Vi, nobody sane uses heavy weaponry for that, and they barely avoided being shot).

It's also pretty symbolic that she shoots an enforcer point blank, without even looking at him. She's come full circle, and is now basically the Zaunite version of this enforcer.

She's become what she hates, and a beautiful example of violence breeding violence.

Her actions against Ekko deserve their own meta analysis, but it's still pretty harrowing that after Vi leaves her once more (you know, after Jinx blew her gf up and shot at them), her reaction is to blow Ekko (the only other person she has from "back then") and herself up.

Next up, Jinx shows a constant disregard for people's boundaries, including the people close to her.

See how Thieram gets forced into that hug? Here's a still of him as he cringes away. He also flinches when she comes reaching for her drink. Clearly this isn't the first time she's crossed his boundaries, or else he's seen her do some serious shit to others. Of course he's given excellent justifications for his worries.

But then you've got Sevika. Oh, Sevika! Jinx rigs her father's office with toxic gas, and isn't it lucky that the next person to step in is Sevika, and not Silco (lol imagine!)

Then she straps her to a chair, stabs her in her prosthetic, and when she comes around, slaps her and drags her hand across her face before threatening to maim her. Look at Sevika hating being touched and Jinx leaning into it precisely because of it. Look at her grin! Ah, enjoying assault!!

All of this drama, violation of personal space, straight up physical abuse, etc, just because Jinx wants an answer to a QUESTION. And it's a question Sevika would looove to answer! "No need," she says against the threats to her arm, but honestly there was "no need" to do any of this to her either.

Then Jinx proceeds to deface her father's property (his map, but more importantly Vander's knife, which we presume is dear to him), and hang his second in command to the ceiling, labelling her a liar. And like... Seriously, what if this had been the last straw for Sevika?

She's bound to Silco by the show's writing, but who in their right mind would tolerate to be knocked out twice by their boss' kid, besides the other abuse? Knowing the kid will face no repercussions? What if Sevika had left and taken some loyal people with her? Another occasion where Jinx acted with total disregard for Silco's plans and operation. Worse, what if Sevika had taken Finn up on his betrayal idea and killed Silco to replace him herself and be rid of Jinx? There's just no good justification for treating Sevika like this (in world. In the story it's to set up Sevika's potential betrayal and Jinx's characterisation, ofc).

Then for more distrust and violation of personal space, let's move to Jinx straddling Silco, trapping his hands under her, and using his medical equipment to torture him as punishment for a lie. In this situation there's a real lie (of omission), and a perceived lie (about knowing Vi was alive).

It's the biggest case of pushover good dad Silco bar the final scene [Nobody tell me he's a bad dad when after everything she puts him through, the moment she rips the gag off of him his first reaction is to turn on Vi and scream at her to STOP DEADNAMING MY DAUGHTER. Nobody is more team-Jinx than Silco]

Anyway, first she scares him, manhandles him, and he's like "Where have you been" not "WTF are you doing" or "WTF did you do to Sevika" or any of the more... reasonable things to ask her. He treats her like his stray kitten.

Then things get ominous as she traps his hands, grabs him by the jaw... And this tough crime lord lets it all happen without much protest. When Jinx alludes to Vi not being dead, things go like this :

"I can explain" — stab — "Don't move silly, I might hurt you" (classic Jinx playing with her prey) — [explanation] — stab — "but when you found out she came back, you lied" — stab

She stabs him THREE (3) TIMES instead of listening to his willing explanations! Another pretty dire example of Jinx using violence on the closest thing she has to a "loved" one, to get an answer to a question Silco would most likely answer happily if SHE WOULD ONLY ASK.

Think what you will of Silco's little speech to her, but when he frees his hand, he grabs her arm, and gently moves up to her wrist, but he never even pulls her hand from its grip on him. He just touches her and serves her his "pls recall I'm daddy" talk, which finally calms her down some, though I doubt it worked as well as it should have.

All Jinx knows is how to set traps and ambush people, even the people close to her. Those who let her come near are rewarded with mean tricks. The only person she's showing any kindness to is Silco, yet she also routinely abuses him. It hints that such behaviours are probably common enough.

Silco on the other hand never even so much as pushes her off. His most brutal action against her was to grab a tool from her hand while yelling at her [after she killed 6 enforcers and potentially destroyed his lifelong struggle, might I remind you].

She doesn't trust anyone, not even Silco, but also not Vi. She barely trusts herself.

Jinx seems to have no goals besides gratifying her own needs. She strives for control, always being on top of all her relationships, using tricks when she can't make do with direct violence, pulling the intel she wants out of people like the smallest of interaction has to be a confrontation. She has to know, be ready, have a trick up her sleeve at all times. She also strives for a sense of respect, having to feel useful and "strong".

Yet she doesn't seem to be on board of Silco's Nation of Zaun cause. She is routinely acting against his plans and and against his benefit. Almost every action she takes in act II and III directly opposes Silco's progress, besides completing Fishbones (too late).

Going back to the bridge scene, if Jinx could just take a moment to think, and if a free Zaun was really on her mind, she'd realise that, well, her sister is ALIVE, and even if she retreats to Piltover for now, Jinx could just find her again once the tensions are resolved and Silco gets his free Zaun (which seems to be imminent).

Worse, when Ekko stops hitting her, she could use his hesitation. Could manipulate him. There's no way he'd kill her in cold blood after that moment. Heck, she could just throw him off and run away. She has the gem (and he doesn't know that). Silco has asked her to please complete the weapon, but again, getting the gem to him takes a backseat to a rushed emotional response in the face of rejection and hurt.

Doesn't it suck that Marcus was totally right, and that removing Jinx would be doing Silco a favour?

In conclusion I think it's fair to argue that Jinx is the more abusive of the two when it comes to her relationship with Silco, and her relationships in general.

She manipulates, plays mind games, leans into the terror and discomfort she inspires in others and seems to relish it, routinely displays cruelty, hurts animals and people without remorse.

She's as cold blooded as the enforcers who killed her parents and only ever tied to a higher cause out of her desire for gratification and Silco's approval and perceived respect.

While I'm sure she's not always that terrible (it was a stressful 72h tbf), you don't develop such traits overnight, and people don't cringe away from you if you don't have a history of being a turbo dickhead.

I understand the drive to "protecc" mew mew Jinx, but I wish she weren't so readily excused by fandom, or worse, that her behaviour wouldn't be so often pushed aside to accuse Silco of bad parenting. He was certainly faaaaaaaaar too lax with her, needing her as a buoy in an uncaring sea of betrayal and unresolved trauma, but I don't think she became who she is solely due to him or even her trauma. [insert rant against Piltover and its systemic oppression here]

Also, let's recall this is the face Powder makes when she really hopes her bomb filled with nails and shrapnel explodes and maims her pursuer.

Although she's consistently shown to hate the idea of being directly involved in violence, she's very pro fucking enforcers up and is being validated by her sister for MAKING BOMBS.

I guess I just wanted to rip off the rose-tinted glasses for a moment and really look at Jinx's dynamics without trying to excuse them. I feel like the Silco corner of the fandom has done a great job looking at his actions and his motivations before accepting him for who he is (a dickhead, but in different ways). The Jinx corner just... seems to have a tendency of being blinded by the cuteness, the mew mew factor, and the ready excuses of her psychosis and trauma. And we should definitely look at them and see how they impact her character and inform her actions but...

Unhinged mass murdering dickhead characters are deserving of our love and we don't need to excuse them to enjoy them. Jinx is worthy of being dotted on and being a blorbo. She's the heroine of a tragedy. She doesn't deserve what the show throws at her. But she deserves to be properly seen and understood (for the dickhead she is lol)

[a-second-chance-su-au]

How did you decide which episodes would be impacted and had scenes that were significant enough to include? I’m working on a canon divergent fanfic for another series that’s pretty much just the story with one more character. I want to know how necessary these things would be.

That is an excellent question!

I am on mobile and don’t have a page splitter at the moment, so WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD.

When rewriting canon, I like to stick to 5 hard-and-fast rules, being: 1) know your character’s arc before going in, 2) know the episode’s overall message, 3) don’t take away from other characters, 4) adding original content must be done as-needed, and 5) DON’T BE AFRAID TO CHANGE THE WHOLE STORY. This can either be exceedingly easy or extremely hard.

1) Know your character’s arc before going in. This one seems obvious, but it can be very easy to get distracted. What would happen if this character was present for this scene? What if she/he/they followed this character around? Stuff like that. The whole thing on this particular blog with Spinel being present for the climax of Maximum Capacity is certainly tempting, and fun to think about, but does it do anything for Spinel’s arc in this AU? In my case, no. So she will not be present. You want to make sure you have some kind of roadmap either on paper or in your head of when and where things should happen, keeping in mind that character’s relationships, mental space, and goals. If Spinel wanted to fuse with Amethyst, she’d have to do it when the two have a good relationship, and something like that takes time to develop. She cannot fuse with Ames in the beginning of the series, absolutely not, but she will later on. Knowing facts like that on when things can and/or SHOULD happen is essential. So episodes like “Giant Woman,” “Horror Club,” “Crack the Whip,” or “Keystone Motel” will not be included in the list.

2) Know the episode’s overall message, and who is in the spotlight. You’d think that on a show like SU, that’d be easy, but often, it can be hard to pinpoint exactly who we should be focusing on. Fun fact: it usually isn’t Steven, which is why when Steven lets us into his head a little, it’s always such a huge, emotional bomb drop. I will keep using Maximum Capacity as an example. That episode was focused on Greg’s and Amethyst’s relationship with each other, their past friendship, and how each of them handles the stress of the past differently. Amethyst wants to loose herself in “Little Butler,” but Greg wants to do other things, too, causing them to come to a crossroads. It’s a coming-to-terms story for the both of them, and with this AU, I don’t want to disturb that. “Giant Woman” was about Amethyst and Pearl. “Joyride” was about Steven. “Keystone Motel” was about Ruby and Sapphire. “Steven the Sword-Fighter” is an example that can be shifted, because the purpose of that ep was to teach the viewer about poofing. It was less about Pearl and more about Gems in general, making it okay to try and change a few things around (so long as the poofing of... a gem still happens). Knowing when an episode is about a character, a relationship, or world building is really important, and helps to try and decide which to alter.

3) Do not take away from the other characters. Know their arcs, too, and why certain choices were important. Example being “Crack the Whip,” where Amethyst hits her lowest low and her quest to be stronger begins. That one, if you want to change it, you can, but if it were me, I would leave in Amethyst getting poofed and Jasper getting defeated without her, as it begins a huge moment for her character. By changing up that scene, she doesn’t have the chance to confide in Steven, they don’t fight, she doesn’t hit her lowest low (which all or most characters need to hit at some point), and then Smokey Quartz cannot exist. They exist because she trusted Steven and the two of them felt equal to each other, and trusting, and loving. THAT allowed them to fuse, and if “Crack the Whip” never happened or was altered too much, that all that goes out the window. So I am not going to have Spinel grab Amethyst and pull her out of the way or anything, or have her fuse to beat Jasper, because that undermines the whole point. However, I CAN say that Amethyst’s arc affects Spinel’s. Not saying this is canon, as this is just an example, but maybe Spinel becomes more attached to Amethyst after that, trying to protect her from being poofed again because she feels guilty for not being there to stop it. Then that affects Amethyst, makes her feel like Spinel is her bodyguard, which Amethyst doesn’t want and feels she doesn’t need. It’d serve to make her angrier, and could lead to she and Spinel getting into an argument or a fight. In this scenario, would I replace “Steven vs Amethyst” with “Spinel vs Amethyst”? No. But something similar COULD happen. It’s all about where you want to go, and what works best for these characters.

4) Adding original content must be done as needed, not whenever you feel like it. Does this mean do it sparingly? Depends on the story you want to tell. For me and my AU, that means I need to pay attention to Spinel’s arc and when she needs to learn/do things. Take “Man of the Mountain” for example. It takes place directly after “Bubble Buddies,” and is the result of Spinel being jealous of Connie eating up Steven’s time and friendship. So, she seeks to strengthen their bond as reassurance to herself that Connie is an inconvenience at worst, and at best, she’ll fade away eventually. She and Steven are still best friends, and she’s gonna prove it, darn it! Then the events of that episode may or may not affect what happens next, or later down the line. For this AU, Season 1 is mostly going to build things that are yet to come, and the episodes don’t directly feed into each other, meaning I am using original content sparingly. 5 originals compared to 52 actual episodes? I think I did good on that front. xD But, don’t be afraid to add an episode for an information dump, or to come to a conclusion. That can’t be the only thing IN the episode, of course, but if that’s the pure reason the episode exists, then fine. Do it. Whatever makes your story flow and make sense. But by making every other episode about Spinel, suddenly it’s only about her and not the other characters. Might as well rename the show at that point. The other characters get the spotlight they need/deserve, with Spinel getting her time to shine as well.

5) DON’T BE AFRAID TO CHANGE THE WHOLE STORY. This is one I’m struggling with, but I feel it worthy to mention anyway. If your character is psychic, then have them use their powers when it’s a good character choice and makes sense logically. If that throws off the entire tale, then roll with it. Get stuff back on track. Or maybe you need to take out that character for a bit. Formulate a way to do that. But if your character had a chance to shoot a blow dart at the main villain and take them out, perfect for capturing them and dismantling their army, wouldn’t they take it? If not, there had better be a good, in-character choice. Maybe the villain’s entire plan changes to account for the character’s psychic powers, creating a decoy or sending out a squad to trap/kill them specifically. If it’s in-character and it makes sense, heckin’ DO IT. Get creative! Get weird! Stories write themselves; you just need a beginning and a good grasp on the characters. Then the characters will take your story and run with it. Your job then becomes keeping up. I wish I was joking. I’ve had characters completely derail my stories before because they just couldn’t make that one character choice that was the lynchpin for the whole next scene, and it made me mad, and no I’m not mad about it two years later! You have the map, they steer the ship. You just gotta trust them.

This version of Spinel was left alone for 625 years, then cast away like a worthless toy. She’s been through war, lost almost all her friends, and had her #1 idol taken away and replaced with a smaller, weaker, half-human male version of her. She’s been through the ringer on emotions, and although she values herself as a friend first and foremost, that doesn’t mean I- and by extension, the other characters- can’t challenge that point of view. Make the character struggle. Know how they interact with others. How do certain events change them? Will they change every episode, or only some? Which are important to their arc? And most importantly, what is the point? By changing this thing here, what are you doing for that/those characters and/or the story? Is it a quick, harmless, funny moment, or is it to show a darker side to a character we’re familiar with, and to see them change now that there’s a new presence beside them? These are questions only you can answer as you chose which episodes to pick.

I hope any part of this was helpful. Feel free to ignore any of these points, or add your own. Again, every story is different, and each story should be treated as such. No creator is experienced equally, and we all have different interpretations of characters. Nothing is right or wrong, so long as you, the author, can justify it, even if it’s just “I thought it’d be cool.” It’s your AU. Go for it!

Thanks for listening to me ramble. Scene.

[nightowlfandom]

Katsuki Bakugou- Sidekick (White Day Special)

HAPPY WHITE DAY, EVEN THOUGH I’M AMERICAN LOL! This is a sequel to Valentines Day Special with Bakugou back in February! One of you beautiful people asked me to do a part two and I was like, yeah of course! So I made sure to put in on my list and be ready to post it.

CHECK OUT “VALENTINE’S SPECIAL” RIGHT HERE!

CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST RIGHT HERE!

LEGGO!

...

It seemed like only yesterday you were approached by Bakugou. You were super surprised to say the least. It was a strange date too. Even though you had fun, he seemed off the entire time. He wasn’t his usual self in the sense that he never insulted you or outburst at everything the entire night. He took you to all his favorite places, which you were surprised to know just how many of them weren’t hero or training related. You could only assume Bakugou at least liked you a little bit after that. He never really bothered you or even make fun of you.

“HEY SIDEKICK!”

You were sitting at a picnic bench outside school when you heard the familiar time bomb call out to you. Instead of referring to you as ‘idiot’, ‘stupid’ or ‘dummy’, he had opted to call you sidekick. Still insulting, but...almost endearing.

“Um, H-hi!” you shyly greeted. You noticed he had a box tucked under his arm. “What’s up?”

“Here.” he basically thrust the box into your hands.

“What’s this?” You curiously peeked inside. “Chocolates?”

“DUH! IDIOT!” he snapped. “Did you forget it was White Day?!”

“White day?” you repeated. You took the time to look around you. Exactly like it was a month ago, only the boys were pushing their male friends to give gifts to the girls instead of the other way around. “Right.” you laughed nervously. “No one’s ever given me anything like this before.”

“Well, sidekick. It’s the least I could do. You should be grateful someone so amazing like me would waste time on someone like you.” he huffed. “No one will ever get anything like this out of me for as long as I live.”

“I’ll remember that.” You noticed a piece of paper tacked to the lid of the box. “What’s this?”

“What are you ta-.” Bakugou saw you pick up the paper. “Hey w-wait! Don’t read that!” he tried to grab it.

“Why not!” you turned away from him. “Obviously it’s meant for me! It even has my name on it!” you brushed him off.

“I’m warning you, if you read that-”

“You’ll what? Blow up?” you joked. Bakugou went quiet. Of all the exploding-related humor thrust his way, he hadn’t heard that one before. “I mean what’s the worst that could happen.”

When you opened the envelope, you were greeted by shaky writing, a bunch of scribbles, and a plethora of other issues. It was obvious he was nervous writing it out, but what about.

Dear Y/N, Someone as beautiful useless and powerful powerless doesn’t deserve the luxury of being in my great presence. I am not worthy of hearing your laugh or witnessing a quirk as great as yours. You are not worthy of being near a future hero like me. I love you. I hate you. I’ve liked hated you ever since we were children. I never know just how much you were in love with me until last month when you made that stupid box for me, and now I can’t process my emotions right, idiot. You will always be less than me, but you can at least be my sidekick from here on out.

I can only hope I haven’t missed my chance to be the hero you deserve and the lover you deserve.

Bakugou.

Laughing, You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing as you read the poorly thought out letter. You finally turned to look at Bakugou again who for some reason was glaring potholes at you.

“Grrr I said not to read it!” he exploded. “Why can’t you just do what you’re told for once in your life, Sidekick!”

“Bakugou-”

“I MEAN IT’S NOT ENOUGH THAT YOU’RE LAUGHING IN MY FACE-” he continued.

“Bakugou listen-”

“ARE MY FEELINGS SOME KIND OF LAUGHABLE THING TO YOU-”

“BAKUGOU!” You shouted over him. The entire quad got quiet just hearing you two go back and forth. “You gonna let me talk or what?”

“No!” he grabbed the box of chocolates in one hand and snatched yours in the other.

“Hey!, where are we going?!” you had no choice to let him pull you along, otherwise he would have taken your arm out of it socket with how harsh he was being.

“We’re spending the rest of the day together.” he grumbled.

“Oh no no no!” You halted, dragging your heels against the concrete so he’d slow down. “We went to all the places you wanted to go last time. This time we’re going somewhere I want to go.”

“Fine, but you’d better not pick somewhere boring!” he snapped. “Or else I’ll...do something!”

“Whatever you say.” you could only shake your head.

...

“Where the hell are we going, Sidekick?”

“You’ve asked me that like eight times already.” you huffed. “Just be patient and we’ll get there soon!”

“You said that twenty minutes ago! I swear if this is just some sick prank on me I swear-”

“We’re here!” you shouted excitedly. You two stood outside a small door, it was so tiny that anyone could had missed it if they didn’t look hard enough. It was on the top floor of your apartment building.

“THIS is where you decided to take me for a date!” he boomed with laughter. 

“Come on!” you pushed the door open.

Plants hung off the wall like vines, there were vases full of pretty flowers everywhere. The sun was beating down through the glass roof. 

“What is this place?” he asked.

“A greenhouse. It was built here a while ago for charity.” you replied. “I figure since you took me to some of your favorite place, I’ll take you to one of mine.” you smiled. 

“Wow. I didn’t think one of your favorite places would be so boring-” Bakugou began to insult you as he usually would but stopped when he saw you hold your hand up to a sun ray peaking through the window. Your hand moved like you were holding something. Before his eyes, the sunray began moving over a stray potted plant. 

“Hm.” you narrowed your eyes as you ‘reached’ for another ray, moving it over the same plant. “Perfect!” you muttered. “What did you say Bakugou?”

“...I didn’t know you could do that.” 

“Not very many do.” you replied. It got very silent between the both of you. Silent and Awkward.

“H-hey! Sidekick...you never answered my question!”

“What question?”

“W-well...Are you gonna be my sidekick or not!?” he snapped. 

“You never asked me to be your sidekick.” you raised an eyebrow. 

“W-we’ll since you made a big deal about it on Valentine’s day like a dummy and had me looking like an asshole, the least you could do is not look at any other guy other than me from now on!”

“Hm.” a small smile crossed your face. “Not so fun when it’s you that has to do the confessing now?” you walked up towards him. The light hit his face in a way that almost made him look innocent. 

“S-shut up.” he mumbled. “So...is that a yes?”

(CLIFFHANGER HA! BYEEEE)

[kathyprior4200]

Cold-Blooded Hearts

In Episode One

 Present day, episode one

 Angel Dust spotted a flying metal aircraft, which was firing lasers at buildings. It looked like an industrial rocket ship made with gears and a steampunk style to it. A metal hook hung from the bottom of it. The lasers struck the buildings, which caused bright pink explosions to fill the air.

 From inside the ship, a serpent overlord stood high above over the controls, laughing manically. Down below, his deviled egg minions stood and watched. Each of them wore black top hats and pinstriped round clothing. They were called Egg Bois.

 The room had deep purple walls, cabinets for the minions and decorations of their leader along the wall.

 The villain was Sir. Pentious. He wore a gray coat with yellow vertical stripes down the front. He had a black tail with yellow stripes and pink eyes all over. He wore a top hat with a moving pink eye and a grinning mouth of fangs. He sprouted a demonic grin of his own, his hood also full of several pink eyes.

  Up on the platform, he oriented two levers in his hands, the control button in the center displaying a pentagram design.

 “Those other cowardly sinners dare not hinder my territorial takeover! A wise decision. The power of my machines are unmatched! No other demon can compare to the likes of I!”

 One egg minion with #23 on his back added, “Gee that was pretty swell boss!”

 “Yeah!” another chimed in: #666.

 “You really showed them what for!” called a third.

 Another minion teasingly ran his fingers up the overlord’s spine. “I like it when you shot them with your ray gun…”

 Sir Pentious punched a minion out the window and whirled around in anger. The other minions backed up. “I wish he’d shoot me with his ray gun,” a minion whispered, head lowered.

 Sir Pentious rolled his eyes at his masochist minions. He turned back to the controls and grinned. Pentagram circles revealed the areas he had taken over and the other territories ahead. “At this rate, I will seize control of the entire west side of the Pentagram by day’s end!”

 He laughed and bragged some more. “And nothing, not a single beast in this inferno of suffering, will be able to take back this empire from my constrictive grasp!”

 As to prove his point, he grabbed a minion in his tail and tightly squeezed him.

 Another minion blew a noisemaker and then popped open a blue bottle of a brown drink. The overlord threw the minion across the room as the eggs celebrated down below.

 “Hell will be mine,” he declared, “and everybody will know the name of Sir Pe…”

“Edgelord!” yelled a voice.

 “Pardon?!” Sir Pentious shot back in shock. “Who said that?!”

 He leaned in close to two of his minions, not pleased.

 “What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses?!”

 The minions shook in fear.

 “Speak up!” he hissed.

 “It wasn’t us, mister boss man!” said a minion.

 Just then, an object shot through the glass at the front, creating a small hole. A small pink bomb with a black skull on the front, landed on the floor. Sir Pentious observed it for a moment…the bomb looked like a cherry…which could only mean…

 The bomb exploded, covering the room in sparkles and thick red smoke.

 Sir Pentious coughed and swiped some of the smoke away.

 “You looking for a fight, old man?” a female voice challenged.

  Sir Pentious spotted his rival standing proud and casually catching another bomb in her hand: Cherry Bomb.

 Towering tall in pink high heel boots, ripped black jeans, a pink crop top with an x on the front, long strawberry blonde hair, a single pink eye with an x that took up most of her white face…a grin of sharp teeth…it was her alright.

 “Why don’t you get that tinker toy bullshit off my turf before I smash it…” she declared before catching her bomb. A random barbell of metal crashed into the floor close to Cherri Bomb.

 “…more.”

“Oh, you wanna go, missy?” Sir Pentious retorted. He flicked his hood back before opening it. Well, I’m happy to oblige!”

 He let out another evil laugh as his minions closed in, holding stun guns, which crackled with yellow electricity.

 But Cherri Bomb wasn’t scared. With graceful leaps, she avoided the blasts and threw down another bomb. She used the cover to escape, jumping down and swinging once from the anchor at the bottom of the flying craft. Landing gracefully on the ground, she continued her assault from below.

 “Catch me if you can, snake man!”

 “Get her!” he bellowed through the red smoke, the eggs quickly running around in a frenzy.

 The minions jumped to the ground after her, the overlord following suit. Cherri Bomb dodged a blast, grinned and picked up the minion egg. She spun around and threw the minion straight into Sir Pentious’ face. He threw the egg back at her, and she caught it with one hand.

“Thanks for the gift!” she called out, before cracking the egg open with an evil grin. She placed a bomb into it, then threw it back at him...straight to his face. Sir Pentious could only make a face of surprise before the egg blew up in pink smoke.

 “Why you little…”

 Cherri Bomb ducked as another egg sailed over her head.

 Just then, a familiar drug-addict white demon stomped on an egg minion and threw a grenade in the distance.

 “Angel Dust!” called Cherri Bomb, happy to have her partner in crime arrive.

 “Great to see you too, sweetie!” he teased.

 Another pink explosion filled the air as the fight continued.

 “Hey, thanks for the backup, Angie!” Cherri Bomb said as she fired a flaming red arrow with a large gun over toward Sir Pentious.

 Angel Dust laughed, leaning against volcanic rock as cover. He threw a grenade over his head.

 “You kiddin’? This is the best action I’ve seen in ages!”

 A pink explosion rocked the streets.

 “Where have you been anyway?” she asked. “I thought you up and died or some shit.”

 “I wish,” he remarked as he lit another fuse and handed the bomb to his ally. She threw it forward, then ducked behind the rock next to Angel.

 Angel continued, “I’ve been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. Some boards are letting’ me stay rent-free if I play nice.” They covered their ears.

 A column of green smoke rose into the air with a fiery whoosh. The duo leaped over the rock and charged at the army of egg minions. Using four arms, Angel Dust fired rapidly from a gun at the minions, making some of them explode.

 He sighed, and used one of his hands to gesture. “Y’know, no fights, no pranks, no “problematic language.” Her words, not mine.”

 He tripped an unsuspecting minion, sending him into the air and exploding in a yellow yok mess. He waved a spiked club and continued firing his gun. A pot shop stood in the background, with marijuana leaves near the sign.

 “These bitches are no fun!” Angel complained in frustration. Splatters of yok landed on his head and face. “I’ve been clean for two weeks!”

 “Holy shit!” Cherri Bomb yelled after avoiding a green explosion and leaping into the air.

 Angel scooped up yok with his finger. “Well, sorta clean.” He smashed apart another egg minion with his club. “As clean as you can get with a shitload of Bolivian marching powder.”

 Angel’s shadowy silhouette displayed sharp fangs as Cherri posed in the background, one of her boots missing. A sign read “50% off meth” above a small super market.

 A black chain wrapped tightly around Angel’s waist and chest, sending him flying backwards. Cherri Bomb gasped as her ally was pulled away. Sir Pentious threw the chained Angel Dust hard onto the ground a distance away. He landed with a thud against volcanic rock.

 “Oh, harder daddy!” Angel teased with a wide smirk.

 Sir Pentious gasped, eyes tearing up. “Son?!”

 Angel Dust stared blankly, one eye raised, a look of disbelief on his face.

 Cherri Bomb rushed into action, landing a sharp kick to Sir Pentious’ back. The villain landed on the ground, then hissed threateningly.

 “You whores have no class!” he exclaimed, standing up. “In war, the side remembered is the side with the most…style.” He straightened his black bowtie with a spring.

 Cherri Bomb broke open an egg and tossed the shells aside. Angel stood up, freeing himself from the chains.

 “Or the side that ain’t dead,” she added.

 “Speaking of style, is your hat like, alive or something’?” Angel asked, wiggling his fingers.

 Sir Pentious hissed. “Oh, well, that’s none of your goddamn business, now is it?”

 Angel continued, “Would that make your hat the top and you the bottom?”

He and Cherri burst into laughter. Even a pink “loser” sign pointed at the oblivious villain. “Ooooh,” said a minion near him. “One hellish burn.”

 “I’m going to blow you to bits!” Sir Pentious yelled, pointing at them.

 “Hmm! Kinky!” Angel teased.

 An advertisement displaying a plate of, sausage, eggs and a tomato slice stood halfway buried in the ground. A glowing pink sign pointing down read “pussy.” Another yellow sign read, “Sex here.”

 “Not like that! Pervert!” yelled the villain. Cherri Bomb and Angel Dust held in laughter.

 Angel suddenly pushed Cherri Bomb out of the way, as an egg minion shot tendrils of claws from behind them. The claws had eyes in the center and grabbed onto Angel’s four wrists. He struggled to free himself, the cords stretching.

 Sir Pentious chuckled. “Not so cocky now, are we?”

“Y’know, you really need to watch what’s coming out of your mouth,” Angel remarked. “Cocky…cumming, you get it?”

 The villain didn’t respond.

 Angel sighed. “I’ve been making these sex jokes the whole time!”

 A drill poked out from the ground, Angel avoiding it. A minion held a drill in his small hands at Angel. Two extra arms popped out from Angel’s body, holding his rifle.

 “And it’s obvious you ain’t catching on.”

 He cocked his gun. “I mean, it’s just sad!”

 He jumped into the air, freeing himself and firing the gun. The laser hit Sir Pentious, and his gray top hat fell off.

 Cherri Bomb popped up next to Angel. “So, think you’re gonna get into a lot of trouble for this?”

 “Eh, what’s one little brawl gonna cause?” He shrugged his shoulders and retracted his extra arms. Sir Pentious lay fuming on the ground.

 More egg minions scrambled over to the edge of a high cliff, overlooking the scene. Egg shells and yok puddles littered the cracked street.

 Cherri Bomb playfully elbowed Angel. “Glad ya haven’t changed. You know you’re my favorite guy to party with!”

 “You know it, sugar tits,” Angel replied.

 “You ready to finish this?” she asked. She rolled a bomb from one of her shoulders to her other shoulder, then into her hand.

 Angel cocked his gun again. “Born ready, baby!”

The duo charged at Sir Pentious. Everyone yelled. More egg minions fell and Sir Pentious realized he was running out fast.

 After several more minutes of battle, Sir Pentious and his remaining minions retreated back to his ship. “This isn’t over, sluts!” he declared at his enemies. “I’ll have my revenge!” The ship hatch closed. The egg minions steered the ship and it rose into the air, almost sending the overlord flying out of the craft. He tossed out more minions in response before taking the controls and flying the craft away.

 Angel and Cherri Bomb high-fived.

 “See you around,” she said.

 “Until the next brawl,” said Angel.

 Cherri Bomb waved goodbye and blasted music from an Eye Pod (a device made from an actual moving eye. “Hello, daddy. Hello mom. I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb! Hello world! I’m your wild girl. I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!” she sang out loud. Angel Dust laughed and continued on his way.

 After buying some more amino and pot from the 666 Shop, Angel met with Charlie and Vaggie in a white monster limo. A great day indeed for the promiscuous demon.

  Later on, Alastor, Husk, Niffty, Charlie, Angel, and Vaggie, peered out of the hole to see what was going on. Vaggie had her weapon at the ready.

 Looking skyward, the group saw a cracked blimp in the air. It had a small random band aid with a sad face on it along the rim. A familiar snake villain popped out of his hideout.

 “Ha!” Sir Pentious laughed. “Well, well, well, look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet again, Alastor!”

 Apparently, he was also rivals with Alastor.

 But Alastor simply asked, “Do I know you?”

The snake boss looked disappointed. Then he said in anger, “Oh yes you do! And this time, I have the element of…surprise!”

 The villain raced toward his pink velvet chair and pulled a lever. A metallic cannon lowered to the ground. The cannon fired up with pink energy as pink smoke appeared around them.

 “He laughed manically. “I’m so evil!”

 Then he added, “I have an Egg army!”

 “Well, we have an Alastor,” Charlie responded.

 Alastor snapped his fingers, red tendrils of smoke rising from his hand. The weapon froze in mid fire and a fiery portal opened up below the blimp.

 A horde of black tendrils rose from the hole, latching onto the ship. One tentacle ripped off the cannon and threw it into another smaller portal, causing it to explode in pink smoke. One of the tentacles had already smashed a hole in the large round window.

 Sir Pentious looked on in shock as his Egg Bois slammed against the wall (one of them read #Ouch.) One of the eggs cracked open, spilling out yellowish brains and small organs among the stains of yok. Sir Pentious and another minion were thrown against the wall.

 “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he screamed before he was slammed against the ceiling by a black limb.

 “Oh, that hurt!” he cried.

 Sir Pentious screamed as he was dragged along the floor and lifted up slightly. He was held in place, surrounded by the wrapped up tendril. At once, the tendril shrunk and squeezed the helpless snake. The Egg Bois ran around screaming as black cracks appeared on the floor and walls.

 From the outside, more black tendrils were closing in. Red voodoo symbols appeared around the blimp.

 Four horned shadowy spirits with red auras floated around, wearing toothy grins.

 The tendrils were now wrapped around the entire blimp, holding it in place like thick black vines.

 Red radio waves filled Alastor’s eyes as he circled his fingers and worked is magic. Voodoo symbols appeared all around him as he altered the state of reality. Radio static consumed the air.

 The vines thickened and completely enclosed the blimp. The spirits swooped around it in excitement, with echoing shrieks. The aura around the tendrils glowed a fiery yellow, the same color as the portal rim.

  Alastor closed his four-fingered hand which began to glow. The tendrils proceeded to crush the blimp. Pink rays of light shot from the center and the blimp exploded in a loud BOOM!

 Pink smoke spread everywhere as the spirits sped away. The tendrils broke into severed bloody pieces that rained down to the ground. Alastor smiled victoriously, while behind them, the group of five stared in utter terror and shock. (Save for Niffty who had a small smile on her face).

  Sir Pentious climbed out of the crater, hand shaking, tooth chipped, after the group had left.

 “Now will you shot me with your ray gun?” asked the minion.

 Sir Pentious face-planted on the ground in response.

   Humiliating Defeat

 Present day

 A buzzing static sound came from a device on Sir Pentious’ wrist.

 “Boss, do you read me? I just got done watching the princess on the news and I’m on my way to this so called Happy Hotel. Right next to my lab. I’ve already connected it. Apparently, this hotel is intended to redeem sinners and send them to Heaven. Implausible but not impossible. When you’re finished fighting, let’s meet up at the lab…the one away from the hotel.

“Sir Pentious, sir, are you there? I’m on my way there. Over.”

  Inch by inch, the serpentine aristocrat heaved himself up and out of the crater. He slowly slithered on with his lower snake body. He had underestimated Angel Dust, Cherri Bomb, and Alastor. He had believed that with his inventions he could take over Hell and disintegrate all his foes with one press of a button.

 Now his airship lay in smoking ruins at the bottom of the crater. He could still hear the faraway laughs and taunts of the shadow spirits as they flew off.

 “Please, O’ mighty sir…just one blast?”

 Sir Pentious glanced down at the Egg Boi and scowled. The egg minions thought of him as some kind of sexy intelligent deity. They praised him, ran around, and admired his inventions at every turn. With more than three hundred of the humpty dumptys constantly being made, it was surprising that the inventor hadn’t gone mad. Sure he would be fond of them at times, even reading them stories about villains taking over the world to help them get to sleep. But mostly they were annoying little tools who wouldn’t shut up. With dozens of eggs at his beck and call, came the cost of being an unofficial part-time parent.

 Then again, maybe it was his assistant’s way of getting on his nerves. His assistant was Baxter, the blue anglerfish scientist, who had helped him make the Egg Bois. He had a few underground labs, including one under the Hazbin Hotel. While Sir Pentious conquered territory from above, Baxter lurked below and conducted unethical experiments on other unlucky sinners. He was a loner who didn’t like to be disturbed but he would go out of his lab on occasion.

 But the minions had been very helpful at overwhelming demons who had tried to fight back. The eggs would keep them distracted while Sir Pentious would destroy the area with a fury of lasers while letting out an evil laugh. He had blasted one demon to bits after the youngster had mocked his hip outfit with an “ok boomer!” and flipping him the bird. Sir Pentious was mad that his rock star shirt and baseball cap were disregarded so fast. He even had a skateboard and sunglasses for show. But the minions had showered him with compliments, leaving him temporarily satisfied.

 Plus, as eggs, the minions were also a suitable source of substance.

 Just like the one near him.

 Sir Pentious picked up the egg minion in his hands and stretched open his mouth.

 Several minions who had tested his patience for long enough became part of his breakfast. He had swallowed them whole and licked his lips. Or cooked them alive in a frying pan, while making the other minions watch. He would say, “This is an example of what happens when you don’t obey my orders.” The rest of the egg minions would fall silent and quickly get back to work.

 He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until after the smoke cleared.

 He looked at the minion with one eye open and saw the minion holding in a giggle.

 “Are…you blushing?” he asked, closing his mouth and facing the minion in his hand.

 “I think this is even better than getting shot, now that I think about it,” said the minion, a big smile on his white oval face. “What does your tongue feel like on my hard shell?”

 With a noise between a gasp and a yell, Sir Pentious tossed the Egg Boi into the air until he cracked open in a splatter of yellow organs and yok at the bottom of the crater. Sir Pentious’ gray top hat rolled its pink eye.

 He scoffed, “I swear, Hell is just mocking me today!” Taped on his back was a sticky note that read, “I’m A Dirty Snake In Da Grass.” The top hat tried not to laugh. Sir Pentious glance down at his device and listened to it. As much as he wanted to see the hotel, he was not in the shape to take that risk. He would be noticed right away, and defenseless without his machines.

 In many ways, he was lucky to have his assistant and spy around. He could only hope that he could find useful information for him. His mind was full of himself and his inventions most of the time…which led to him being slightly unaware of the proceedings outside. Forget about the fact that he didn’t know what cell phones or computers were. Being one of the oldest sinners in Hell had pros and cons. Many years of conquering territories and admiring himself…but also having to keep up with the ever-expanding technologies and cultures merging together.

 Sir Pentious winced as he made his way back to his hideout on top of a volcano. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, save for glass windows at the very top of the structure. He glanced down distastefully at his outfit, which had been ruined in the battle. His suit would have to be washed and ironed as soon as possible. Even his bow-tie was lopsided. His lower snake belly, though it was thick and tough, was tired from moving over the hard ground.

 A set of double doors lay behind a large black hunk of rock, unnoticeable to many passerby. He tapped it in a rhythmic pattern with his clawed fingers and the boulder moved off slightly toward the right.

 After typing in a passcode on a keypad next to metal double doors, he walked up and a long scanner appeared from a small hatch inside the rocky wall. It hovered by his face and registered his yellow eyes.

 “Match recognized,” chirped a robotic voice, before the scanner retracted back into the hatch. The set of doors opened.

 Whirring and the sounds of rapid footsteps came from above. The floor was black onyx with several cracks and holes in it due to machinery parts that had fallen to the lower level in the past. The place smelled of mechanical machines, old furniture, and of course, eggs. The walls were purple with little golden curves shaped like snake scales. There were a few small lamps in the walls. Sir Pentious walked over to an old fashioned pulley-like lift connected with ropes and stepped onto the slab of square wood.

 “Pull the lever!” he ordered a nearby Egg Boi. Two levers stood side by side, each with a red top part.

 “This lever?” the egg asked. He pulled one. The pulley and Sir Pentious rapidly descended until it hit a floor covered with dark spikes.

 “WRONG LEVER YOU IMBECILE EGG!” Sir Pentious yelled.

 He pulled his hood free from the protruding spikes, blood spurting from his smaller pink eyes. The Egg Boi pulled the other lever and this time, Sir Pentious and the hole-covered slab of wood were slowly raised upward. The snake gave the egg a heated glare before he disappeared above.

 He reached the top and opened the wooden doors in front of him.

 A large dome had glass windows that allowed a view of Hell and the red sky outside. An overhead screen with a glowing red pentagram showed a map of Hell and Sir Pentious’ occupied territories. Adjoining doors in the far wall led to a small kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom. Metal and concrete pipes of various sizes intercepted in a haphazardly pattern close to the stone ceiling. Along the wall were gold framed portraits of Sir Pentious in various poses. In one, he was smirking while holding his wrist out, fingers pointed downward somewhat spread out. In another portrait, he stood with a cigar in one hand and a newspaper in the other. The headline read: “Sir Pentious Seizes Control of Styx, St. Peter Central, Brimstone, and portion of Pentagram City.”

 The Egg Bois cheered and darted around when their boss returned.

 “Welcome back, boss!” greeted one egg wearing pinstriped clothing identical to the one Sir Pentious was wearing.

 “The takeover, how was it?” asked another one who popped up nearby.

 “Oh, you look badly beaten,” remarked a third. “Perhaps a bubble bath is in order?”

 “I don’t need a bath!” Sir Pentious snapped. “I just need to have a plan.”

 “You sure, sir?” asked the egg with a grin. “I brought a rubber duck for the occasion!”

 The egg held up a yellow plastic duck in his tiny hands, the ducks eyes demonic red, with small horns sticking from the top of the duck’s head. He began squeezing the toy with childish laughter. Sir Pentious swatted the egg minion aside with his tail.

 He walked over to a desk made of snake skin. The desk had various tools organized in metal boxes: wrenches, screwdrivers, drills, pencils. An ashtray hung out on the top of the desk, extended slightly past the desk. He opened a drawer. A bunch of folders were inside, all with “Evil Plan” labels on the front. He sat down on a leather chair, took in a puff of smoke with his cigar and reviewed the contents.

 “Cause mass hysteria with swarm of robotic snakes, check. Send egg army to infiltrate Vox’s studio, check. Lost a lot of minions that time. Hypnotize Katie Killjoy so she can mention my conquests on the news…easy enough. Apprehend Vox…not started. Poison Angel Dust, not started. Open up a coffee shop for fellow villains…also not started…”

 Sir,” said a group of Egg Bois nearby, startling him. Sir Pentious burst into a coughing fit, circles of smoke floating from his mouth. “What?!”

 “We are pleased to inform you that the territory near the West side of the Pentagram is now open for the taking.”

 Sir Pentious cleared his throat looked at the map on the screen to the open area littered with egg shells. “That’s the area I was just at! The place where I fought that striped freak and his punk friend.”

 “That’s the place!”

 Sir Pentious grinned with a row of sharp fangs, rubbing his hands together. “Excellent! Send out the drones!”

 The Egg Bois rushed down a slope shaped like a snake tail and configured with controls and buttons. Hatch doors opened and metallic drones armed with missiles and cameras whirred and flew out into the distance. The sounds of explosions and screams could be heard.

 Sir Pentious chuckled. At least one good thing had happened today. Seeing the denizens get trampled beneath his inventions would give him a thrilling sense of dominance. During those times, he felt more like an overlord, despite not officially being one.

 If he weren’t so tired, he’d burst into song. He let out a sigh as he stared at the mess of metal, screws, and weapons around the room. He had to get to work…it would at least keep his mind occupied and perhaps come up with another more devious plan.

 For the next couple of hours, Sir Pentious worked on modifying a large tank that could ram through buildings and other demons who were around. The canons could shot out blasts and emit noxious gas. Of course, the gas wouldn’t kill demons; it would temporarily leave them gagging so he could either defeat them or sneak around them. Wearing protective face covering, he fused wires together as sparks flew from a tool he used. He narrowed his eyes at empty vials and flaks left over from Baxter’s last visit. There was also a partially finished fish robot underneath the arched desk.

 “Blimey, Baxter, you always forget to take your things with you! Worthless junk.”

 His first instinct was to chuck the robot and useless vials out the window.

 But that would lead to a broken window…

 And the possibility of being spotted…

 And an angry assistant…

 But why should he care about what Baxter thought? The fish man could just replace those items just like that. Besides, he was working for Sir Pentious, so Sir Pentious’ feelings were more important anyway. Outbursts were the norm in Hell.

 Pushing aside his hesitant feelings, the snake resumed his work.

    Next he worked on different types of guns that could shot venomous darts to paralyze demons.

 At least he would have worked more on them without the Egg Bois pestering him.

 “Hey boss, is it true that slutty spider flirted and teased with you during that battle?”

 “Were you beaten by a red deer lord?”

 “When will you sing us a villain song?”

 “Do you really have a son? Is that Baxter guy your son?”

 “Will Uncle Baxter teach me how to fish for victims someday?”

 “Dad,” asked a little egg, “I need help using the bathroom.”

 “Ugh,” he sighed lifting his mask and turning around.

 “Do you fried chicken fetuses not know the meaning of “Do Not Disturb?!”

 “I don’t think so,” said Egg #666, holding a red marker. He had crossed off “not” on a nearby Do Not Disturb sign.

 “Why don’t you ask your hen mommy for help,” Sir Pentious told the little egg. “Oh wait, you don’t have one.”

 The small egg burst into tears. “But…you’re my mom and my dad.”

 Sir Pentious waved a hand. “Ask someone else, I’m busy right now as you can see.”

 The little egg sighed in disappointment and grudgingly wondered away.

 After Sir Pentious had some tea and washed up in the bathroom (his broken fangs would thankfully grow back) he traveled back to the pit to retrieve the broken airship parts, quickly and quietly. He made it back to his hideout and got to work.

 The Eggs pestered him with more questions and even worse, poking and touching him. He hated being touched, and this resulted in many Egg Bois being slammed or flung against the wall.

 “Clean up that yok mess,” he ordered the other eggs before going back to repairing.

 “Egg 66 stole my toy train,” Egg 99 complained after a moment.

 “I did not,” #99 shot back.

 Sir Pentious’ hammering and drilling did nothing to block out the Egg Bois insistent, obnoxious wailing.

 “You did.”

 “Not me.”

 “Yes you!”

 “No!”

 “Yes!”

 The eggs rolled around in a fight, rolling into other eggs and knocking them to the floor.

 One egg held up two top hats. “Which one looks better on him?” she asked. “This black top hat or this lavender one?”

 “I think he’d look great in a dark cape and long black mustache,” said another egg.

 “I think he looked like that in his other life,” said the female egg.

 “You didn’t answer my question, sir,” said Egg A 113, “did you really get beaten up by the Radio…”

 “We don’t speak his name!” Sir Pentious yelled in a high voice.

 The fighting Egg Bois rammed into the tank, causing it to wobble. The tank leaned into a worktable, sending wheels, weapons, blueprints, and tools crashing to the floor. The tank fell to the ground, its weight causing it to crash through the onyx floor. The vehicle plummeted down through the lower level and into a large puddle of lava.

 Sir Pentious hissed in anger, breathing heavily. All the Eggs fell deathly silent.

He grew in size, his hood extending outwards, pink eyes turning red. Even his gray top hat increased in size, turning into a small snake. Sir Pentious was as large as Boa Constrictor in his full demon form. His eyes glowed red and more sharp fangs grew from inside his mouth.

 His low demonic voice was mixed up with the sounds of turning gears and clanking metal.

 “What did I tell you fools about bothering me when I’m working?!”

 The Eggs shivered. “We’re s-sorry, boss!” several called out.

��“Yeah, we didn’t mean it!”

 “You did, though,” said an Egg, elbowing another minion.

 “I don’t care who started what!” he hissed. Green fire sprouted from his mouth, frying some Egg Bois. “Those to the left have ten seconds to start cleaning up this mess. Those to the right have ten seconds to go to your incubators before I eat you all.”

 “But, wouldn’t your stomach explode?” asked an egg. “It would be kind of fun to see what in there…”

 “SILENCE!” he bellowed, causing the room to shake. “Get to work and get out of my sight. NOW!”

 The eggs scurried off as Sir Pentious reverted back to his regular form. Downstairs in a small area were rows of circular incubators, each covered by round glass barriers that could open and close. The holes filled up nearly every inch of the metallic wall in every direction. Inside the incubators were beds of straw, golden light, and vents to provide warmth. The eggs climbed up stairs attached to snake-like structures up to their assigned holes. Many of them soon curled up and feel asleep to the sounds of hens clucking and steampunk music emitting from nearby speakers.

   Sir Pentious loved steampunk technology like gears, trains, airships and others, while Baxter preferred science, robots, computers, and modern inventions. While Sir Pentious relied on weapons and warfare, Baxter relied on research and data. Baxter deemed Sir Pentious’ inventions as outdated junk. In response, Sir Pentious perceived Baxter’s work as complicated and boring. Baxter may have been an expert in physics and science but he didn’t have the classic sense of style that Sir Pentious possessed. Baxter sat around, while Sir Pentious moved around.

 Surely everything about Sir Pentious was cooler, he thought: his attire, his animal-like traits…and his name as well. Sir Pentious…a pun on serpent. Why would his assistant settle for a simplistic name like Baxter? Why not Angler-Inventor or Einstein Fisher? Or even Dr. Reducto?

 But still, Sir Pentious couldn’t have created so many Egg Bois on his own. Not when he was busy claiming territory or fixing his machines.

 Which reminded him that he needed to make a new airship and weapons.

 Several hours later, Sir Pentious had completed the stun guns that shot venom darts. The exterior backbone of the airship was done but there were still many empty spaces. In fact, only the front part of the airship had been thoroughly repaired and worked on. Never mind the interior, weapons and engines…they would have to wait for now. An old grandfather clock in a corner let out a chime, signaling it was midnight.

 “Guess I better go to bed,” he said groggily. He pressed several switches that locked more doors and a metal shutter that covered the glass windows. He wandered to the bathroom and did indeed take a bubble bath in the old claw foot tub, the rubber duck floating in the water. Sir Pentious’ top hat remained in his head.

 Thankfully there were no Egg Bois around to disturb him.

 Save for one, #666.

 He had been spying on Sir Pentious when he had undressed and threw his suit down a chute to be washed. The inventor’s lower half was that of a black snake but his top half was more human-like. He looked similar to the mythical Naga, part snake part man.

 The top hat growled and narrowed its eye, staring at the Egg in the corner.

“What is it?” Sir Pentious asked. The top hat turned around in midair, baring sharp teeth. It was then that the snake spotted the stalking egg.

 His mouth opened in a vicious hiss and his hood extended out from his head.

 “ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SPYING ON ME IN MY BATHROOM?”

 Water splashed everywhere onto the white and black tiled floor. A gold toilet and sink stood nearby.

 Smartly, the egg dashed out of the room.

 “IF I EVER CATCH YOU AGAIN, YOU’LL BE MADE INTO AN OMLETE!”

 Sir Pentious sighed in frustration, throwing the rubber duck across the room. It bounced and squeaked, eyes glowing. He sunk back into the water, long tongue flicking out. He stared into the water, the bubbles gradually clearing away. Staring at the liquid made him think of someone else that could aid in his plans.

 “Of course!” he thought. “Going through all my old plans and I didn’t think about my assistant. I wonder what the little rascal has got for me this time.”

 Sir Pentious got out of the tub and changed into his red pajamas, long pants and a shirt with pentagrams, gears and hazardous symbols on it. A nearby tea mug read “Hell’s #1 Villain” on it (though an Egg Boi had scribbled on the word “Dad” in black sharpie.) He sank into bed, admiring the large wall portrait of himself across the room. He was standing proudly with one of his airships in the background, rows of burning buildings nearby. The Egg Bois were cheering and standing beside him, one was on his shoulder and another got close to the old camera. Said old camera was tucked into his closet among the rows of suits, ties and fancy shoes.

 Sir Pentious turned on the old fashioned TV and Katie Killjoy popped up on the screen.

 “...and in other news, claimed king Sir Pentious recently got twisted in knots after a brief scuffle with the infamous Radio Demon.”

 Several Egg Bois “Ooohed” from outside the door.

 “Get to bed, you sacks of unborn chickens!”

 “Indeed,” Tom Trench added.  “Even the inventors have their limits…especially when it comes to overlords. He’s certainly no overlord.”

 “I am too!” Sir Pentious yelled. “I’ve conquered the Eastern side of Pentagram City and I’m still not done! Plus I have an egg army. But no magic…yet. But then again, I don’t need any. All I need is my super intelligent mind!”

 “Edgelord!” called Cherri Bomb who blew raspberries at the camera.

 “That classless whore!” he exclaimed. “I’ll made her explode using her own bombs.”

 Tom Trench gave her several winks while Katie glared.

 “Get out of my studio, punk!” she demanded.

 “Newsflash, bitch!” Cherri declared. “This is Hell! I go where I want, whenever I want. You’ll be seeing me during the next turf war!”

 She threw a bomb onto the ground and vanished in the pink smoke. Katie coughed while Tom Trench mentioned, “She’s the bomb for sure. I could blow her mind!”

 The gas mask news anchor got slapped by Katie. “You fucking would, Tom! You perverted little bitch.”

 “Bah!” Sir Pentious spat in anger, raising a fist. “That Alastor ruining my plans to destroy that place of junk and that slutty spider. The nerve of him!”

  Katie appeared back on screen. “Meanwhile, Hell’s princess has decided to pursue her passion project after all.” The screen cut to the Hazbin Hotel, a building with an old ship, a carousel and other odd structures attached to it.

 “Look there she is, all high and mighty with that sweet smile on her face.” Katie’s voice was laced with disdain and sarcasm.

 Sure enough, Charlie was standing underneath the circus stripped red canopy in her pink tuxedo and black pants. Her lips were black and her yellow eyes shone with excitement.

 “Welcome to the Happy Hotel!” she said to three demons. “Vaggie will be with you shortly to discuss rooms and rules.” She held open one of the stained glass doors with an apple on it.

 “Vaggie! We have three new guests coming in!”

 “What? Already! Please don’t tell me they have creepy shadow powers.”

 “Nope!” she called.

 “Fuck everyone,” Husk called.

 “I’d be glad to,” Angel replied.

 “You’re a horrible sick spider,” Alastor remarked.

 “I second that,” said Vaggie.

 “I’ll go get their rooms cleaned!” called Niffty.

 Charlie turned back to the visitors outside. “You’re just in time! Alastor finished making jambalaya for us! What are your names?”

 “I’m Mimzy,” said a plump woman with pale skin, large hips, big breasts and short blonde hair. She wore a pink dapper dress and a headband with a feather in it. “I work at a jazz club in the city and I also sing at performances.”

 “I love singing too!” said Charlie. “Have you met my friend Alastor yet?”

 Mimzy’s eyes dilated. “Oh believe me dearie, I have.”

 She walked inside before Charlie could ask what she meant.

 “Crymini,” said a teen hellhound dressed in leather and ripped jeans. Rock music blared from skull earphones. “I like rock, metal, and looking at porn,” she said. “Don’t expect me to change those behaviors.”

 “O-okay then,” Charlie smiled nervously as Crymini stepped in. “Be like Angel, I suppose.”

 The last person had the appearance of a blue bipedal angler fish. He wore a dark lab coat with black gloves. Yellow goggles covered his eyes.

 “I’m Baxter,” he said. “I’m a scientist and I prefer being alone. I just need a quiet place to…do some research for the time being.”

 “Excellent, welcome then,” said Charlie as he stepped through the doors.

 “By the way, why does it say “Hazbin Hotel” on the roof?”

 “Baxter, it doesn’t say…” Charlie looked up and sure enough the words had changed.

 She turned into her fiery demon form before slamming the door.

 “WHO CHANGED MY NAME FOR THE HOTEL?!”

 Alastor merely whistled a cheery tune.

 “And there you have it,” Katie said. “A Hazbin Hotel for a bunch of Has Been freaks…all run by Charlotte! Stay tuned for more nightly news, reruns and more.”

 Sir Pentious turned off the TV and lay down. All the work that needed to be done, the inventions to create, the plans to make…it would take some time for sure. But not if he had extra help.

 Thankfully, no one else had noticed the recording device that Baxter kept behind his fin-like ear…a device used specifically to report to his boss…Sir Pentious himself.

 Sir Pentious moved his hand to a similar device on his wrist.

 “Blubberfish,” he hissed. “What’s going on over there?”

 A European accent mixed with watery sounds came through. He appeared to be whispering. “Not now, boss. Too many subjects in proximity to exchange words.”

 “Say what?”

 “Can’t talk, now.”

 “But you just did…”

  Sir Pentious heard the hotel residents talking among themselves while Baxter sat and paid them no mind. He was very good at blending in for a few minutes before moving back into the shadows. After gathering more intel, Baxter stepped into an elevator and pushed the button for the basement. The doors opened again into darkness.

 The vast basement had stacks of crates, rats, and old pieces of junk. Extra pieces of furniture lay here and there. Against a brick wall were skeletons attached to black chains. Bare round lightbulbs hung from the ceiling.

 Baxter maneuvered around the chairs, crates, clutter, and cobwebs until reaching a small metal elevator in a right hand corner on the other side. He typed in a code on a keypad. Gently, he leaned forward and placed his esca into a small hole below the set of numbered buttons.

 An affirming beep sounded and the metal doors opened. Baxter stepped in and the doors closed. He felt the elevator descending before coming to a stop. The doors slid open again, letting in cold, stale air.

 He walked along the dark narrow stone passageway, his esca lighting the way.

 Soon he came across double doors with handles shaped like tridents. He opened them.

 Teal fluorescent lights hummed and flickered from the ceiling. The lab was filled with machines, bubbling chambers, and rows of vials and flasks. Shelves in the metal walls held books, cages, and the occasional fish hook. A work desk had a computer, some white colored modern microscopes and blueprints stacked neatly on the table. Several cages held white and black rats in them, another held a few guinea pigs.

 But that was nothing compared with the marine life.

 Tanks held anglerfish, tuna, angelfish, and one under constructed for a shark. Fish-bones hung from hooks along a mantle. Other doors to the far end led to a bathroom and bedroom, oceanic themes present in the overall architecture.

 The windows showed giant eels, sharks, fish and other sea creatures swimming in a large lake. Seaweed and coral swayed in the water as the scaly monsters swam past. Baxter felt at home being surrounded by the ocean. All the creatures among him, yet he was also protected and safe in his orderly bubble made of metal, glass and waterproof material.

 Someday, he and the sea life would bring floods to the harsh heat of Hell. All the chaos and ceaseless chatter would be washed away in a sea of salt water and flame. Yes, his work would be recognized…and the results would lead to a steady success. Those he despised and those lost in their ignorant ways would ensure a similar fate to his…only he would get to enjoy his orchestrated spread of chemicals, diseases, fear, and psychological warfare.

 Science was infallible…unmatched…even greater than magic and authoritarian power.

 He would be the one to bring a New World Order.

 Dexter Ryan Solace was his full human name…in Hell he was simply known as Baxter.

 He led out a maddening laugh before getting to work. The sounds of explosions and roars echoed and vibrated.

 But his laughter eventually fell into sudden silence when he listened to his boss’ last message.

  “You are to gather intel for me so that hideous place and its inhabitants can be…thoroughly dealt with. You may poke and prod anyone left as you wish. Under no circumstances are you to genuinely befriend anyone at the hotel and forget about your mission. And whatever you do, do not anger the Radio Demon. We’ll be meeting soon...little Geekfish.”  

 Back in Sir Pentious’ lair, Sir Pentious sighed and fell into bed. It wasn’t easy being a supervillain sometimes.

 “Dad,” whimpered a small voice.

 Sir Pentious turned around. He stared into the large fearful eyes of an Egg Boi.

“I had a nightmare and I can’t fall back asleep. Can I sleep with you?”

“How about no.”

“Please?” the egg begged. “At least let me tell you what it was about.”

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

“A big mean owl had us for dinner? And by us I mean us eggs and…um…”

“Me? Nonsense!”

“I-it’s true. He was a scary owl with a crown on his head and he said he was very hungry…”

Sir Pentious rolled his eyes. “Fine. But just for tonight.”

“Oh thank you!” The egg jumped onto the bed and rolled to the pillow next to his boss.

 “Sir, I can’t sleep either.”

 “What the…”

Another egg boi had arrived.

“My bed of hay was too uncomfortable. And I need a drink of water.”

“You’re an egg,” Sir Pentious noted, warning in his tone.

“Can I stay with you?”

 Sir Pentious grumbled. There was no escaping these guys.

 A third egg. “Sir, can I come in?”

A fourth egg. “Why does egg 66 get to sleep with you?”

“Can you read me a bedtime story?”

“Oh, tell us about your killing spree adventures!”

“Number 6, move out of the way!”

“I’m number 9, you fool!”

“Sorry, you looked alike.”

More eggs rolled in by the dozens. They crowded onto the bed and some hopped onto the snake’s lap.

 “For Satan’s sake!” Sir Pentious groaned. “Go back to bed.”

 But the eggs would not budge. Some of them talked while others fell asleep.

 Sir Pentious blocked out the noise and uncomfortable sensations of hard shells pressed against him.

 He had to meet with Baxter.

  Partnership

 1913, Hell

 Sir Pentious slithered along the streets on Pentagram City, trying to keep his head up and tall. His clothing was torn in several places and there was a gash on his scaly dark gray chest. Demons gawked at the sinner who would usually scare off anyone he saw. But this time, several demons mocked and sneered.

 “So claimed king of all Hell, ha! What’d you get beaten by this time?”

 “Old man…not so pompous now are you?”

 “Fuck you!”

 “Snake can’t catch a break!”

 Sir Pentious hissed in anger, his eyes glowing red. The demons backed off and fell silent. The eyes in his hood glowed, catching the attention of the demons. The demons began fighting each other minutes after staring at the hypnotizing orbs.

  He walked away and wondered toward the repair shop.

 Indeed, he had been beaten badly by a formidable foe: Stolas the Gnostic owl demon king. After razing several towns and sending the survivors away in fear, Sir Pentious, confident as ever, wanted to take his conquests to the next level: royalty. Sir Pentious had created a gigantic airship with cannons that destroyed several buildings and killed many denizens in the process. Demons were hard to kill but not impossibly so. The snake’s bombs and firepower made sure of that.

 Unfortunately for him, Stolas wasn’t very happy that his kingdom was being invaded by an outside force. Worse still, the snake demon didn’t appear to want to “show him respect and spend an intimate night to satisfy his hunger.” Thankfully, Princess Octavia and Princess Charlie were hanging out safely at Charlie’s palace.

 Stolas flew outside, right in front of Sir Pentious’ ship.

 “Prepare to meet you end, bird-brain!” Sir Pentious cried with a maniacal laugh as he fired up a canon. The canon blasted into Stolas’ wings, which he used as shields.

 With an ear-piercing screech and a flap of his wings, Stolas blew the airship away from the palace, sending it into a nearby lake of fire. Sir Pentious yelled in pain as the airship crashed with a splash. Owl guards soon surrounded the airship in the air, holding swords.

 “Show yourself and put your hands in the air!” they called.

 Sir Pentious climbed out of a hatch and stared at the guards. Anger was evident in his eyes, but he always had something up his sleeve. With a slow forming smirk, he opened up his hood, the many pink eyes glowing and pulsing with energy. The guards stood dazed in midair, allowing the serpent to slip away over the lake and out of sight. One white owl guard flew and blocked his way, but Sir Pentious took him down with a venomous bite. The guard yelped and doubled down in pain as Sir Pentious vanished.

    What a foolhardy move that was.

 Now Sir Pentious was facing the music for his ego.

 He was almost to the repair shop. His airship in the lake was not only burnt beyond repair, but he had lost crucial weapons and tools on the ship. He, too, would’ve died a second death had he stayed in the ship too long.

 “Someday…Hell will be mine,” he muttered to himself. “Lucifer, the princess, Stolas…they’ll all bow before me as they witness my mass weapons of destruction. Sinners everywhere will fear my name, even Satan himself will shake. I won’t give up so easily. After all, in war, the side with the most style is the winning side.”

 He observed his tattered clothing with a sad look on his face. “So much for style.” Even his top hat frowned and dropped slightly.

Just then, he heard a scuffling sound coming from an alleyway. The eye on his top hat widened. He froze and sniffed the air with his tongue. It smelled...fishy.

 He inched closer to the source of the sound, careful not to get too close.

 “Low-class scum,” he muttered. “I should do them a favor and dispose of them.”

 He took out a small gun from his belt and aimed it at the narrow lane of shadow.

 “Show yourself and say your prayers!” he called with a click of the weapon.

 The luminescent glow of yellow eyes appeared from the darkness.

 “Back off!” growled a voice.

 Sir Pentious scoffed. “Hah! Those are your last words?”

“Back off, I say!”

 Sir Pentious fired his gun and the figure hit the ground with a thud.

 Moments later the figure stood up again. A green blast flashed through the darkness, shrinking Sir Pentious’ gun on contact.

 “What the…” he gasped as he dropped the mini tool in shock. It clanked to the ground.

 A white blaster with a rounded end was pointed at his face.

 “Do you mind? I’m trying to work on zis project ‘ere.”

 The figure’s accent was European, Germanic.

 Slowly, the figure stepped into the light. He wore dark shoes and a long gray lab coat with yellow buttons down the center. He had the teal blue gray face of a female anglerfish, with upward facing fins for ears. He wore black rubber gloves. His hair was dark blue and short, swept back, with little light blue dots off to the side. His eyes were cyan with red pupils and his rows of sharp teeth were also cyan in color. Over his eyes were yellow protective goggles. On his head was a small gray top hat with an esca light hanging down.

 Currently, the fish’s forehead had a smoking hole in the center. For demons, cuts, wounds and scratches could heal up relatively quickly, perhaps even faster than humans. (They were undead in a world designed for sinners). But they still hurt like Hell.

 “Lass mich allein.”

 “What?” Sir Pentious asked. He peered behind the figure and saw a pot on a portable stove, vials of colorful liquids beside it. The water inside was neon green and bubbling.

“Es gibt keine Ruhe für die Intelligenten.”

 Sir Pentious growled. “What are you saying?”

 The fish demon ignored him, keeping his shrink ray aimed at Sir Pentious. Sir Pentious remained in place.

 “What are you making?” Sir Pentious asked.

 The scientist scoffed. “Like I’d tell you.”

 “How very uncouth of you,” remarked Sir Pentious. “Is that how you greet a gentleman?”

 “This is Hell, no one cares. I certainly don’t.”

 “I’m Sir Pentious, and you will treat me with respect.”

 “I’m Baxter and I don’t give a flying fin. Auf wiedersehen.”

 Baxter sat down and began to pour some more liquids into the pot: light blue, a hint of orange, some yellow, a few drops of pink.

 When the mixture was ready, it emitted some sparks. Baxter let out a laugh. “Oh yes! There it iz! My first successful poison in Hell. This should keep any intruders at bay for now.”

 He stood up and soon narrowed his eyes.

 “Why are you still here, snake man?!”

 Why was he still here?

Indeed, that was a reasonable question. Any moment would’ve been ideal for the supervillain to leave and continue on with his afterlife. But Sir Pentious became curious. He had seen dozens of sinners during his time. Most of them were drug addicts, murderers, porn enthusiasts, thieves, and a majority of demons who did their own things. There were several other demons, those that preyed on children or were cruel to animals…no one associated themselves with them…at least the sane ones didn’t.

 Yet in all his years spent in Hell, Sir Pentious had not seen another inventor.

 Deep down, the snake got this feeling…a random need for some form of solidarity. Finding another demon with a similar passion for inventing…the idea itself eased the somewhat uncomfortable sense of loneness that sometimes crept up.

 Or, alternatively, he’d have fun competing with another brilliant rival.

 Why was he still here?

 It was a question that Sir Pentious soon answered.

 “I was curious to see what you were doing.”

 “Well, unless you are blind, I’m making a modified poison from the spine of a pufferfish. But I won’t hesitate to use it on you if I must.”

 Sir Pentious laughed this time. “You? All puny and short, dried like a raisin? You have the brains but you have no weapons for it.”

 Baxter waved his shrink ray in front of him.

 “Well, there is that, but wouldn’t it be more effective to shoot the poison out of a gun? Perhaps from different barrels at the same time?”

 “I can make weapons, ya know,” Baxter replied, stirring up the mixture. Green smoke swirled out from the pot. “Robots, A.I., substances are my specialties. Besides, the poison would need to be contained, modified for dat purpose.”

 “No one can make inventions as great as mine,” Sir Pentious bragged. “Be glad you’re not fighting me over the next territory. Now…I really should get going.”

 “Where? Back to your hidey hole? To lick your wounds?”

 He stuttered a bit, trying for a comeback.

 “Pretty much!” the snake answered, crossing his arms.

 Baxter began meticulously pouring the new substance into small glass vials with lines on them. They were sealed shut with beer corks. He began packing up his things into a small black bag.

 “Where are you going?”

 “Back home?”

 “Home? Is it a lab?”

 “Sadly not.”

 Baxter glanced over at a lake not consumed by flames.

 “You live in a lake?”

 “Ya. I can turn into an anglerfish…a blue one with a cyan esca. Sharp teeth that can drag people down. Like snake men.”

 Sir Pentious scoffed and waved his hand dismissively. “Please, science scum. You’ll never find me in my cave lair. Though…it is a bit cramped in there.”

 “As is my place,” Baxter replied. “One can’t exactly do experiments under ze water.”

 “You’re smart. Make a lab up on the surface.”

 “Easier said than done,” Baxter scoffed. “You’re nothing but an egocentric old sot. Go jump into dat volcano and get out of my sight!”

 Sir Pentious glanced over at a tall pyramid shaped hunk of rock, standing tall in the distance, where Baxter was pointing.

 Baxter turned to leave. Sir Pentious gripped onto his arm. Baxter slapped his hand away and bared cyan fangs.

 “Touch me again, and you’ll die ze death of a thousand stings.”

 “Same to you if you ever touch me.”

 “Ha! Your threats are hot air. Light, forgettable, utterly pathetic.”

 “Why…I beg your pardon!”

 “Ya heard me, reptile-ape demon. Ya done talking?”

 “Never.”

 Sir Pentious stared at the short scientist who looked so out of place in comparison with many other demons…and suddenly giggled. The scientist raised his eyebrows. “Vat is so funny?”

 “You must be a witch with that cauldron you had.”

 Baxter stomped his foot. “And you…crazy old school villain. Where’s the mustache and black hat? Got any sidekicks to do your work for you?”

 “I can do all my work on my own, thank you very much,” the villain replied.

 Sir Pentious paused in thought. Could he really, though? He had no army, no allies. No one but himself to blame after every failure. It was a 50/50 chance that he would succeed or fail at any given day. Perhaps the addition of a…servant or a slave…could tilt the odds in his favor.

 He slowly turned around back toward Baxter. “Or perhaps…I could have someone do work for me?”

 Baxter put his hand up to his chest, eyebrows furrowed. “Me? Have you gone mad? I work for no one but myself. I dedicated my life to research and science…and in this strange realm, I’ll continue to do so.”

 “Let me help you then.”

 “I don’t need any help. Especially not from you.”

 Sir Pentious glanced around. “So you’ve lived hidden from society for how long?”

 “Well if you must know, I’ve kept mostly to myself since a year ago when I appeared here.”

 Sir Pentious clicked his tongue. “No labs, no friends, not much of a hideout. Don’t you want your work to be recognized more? If you’re as talented and…eccentric as I think, you could instill fear in those around you. I’ve done it for years.”

 “Like I’d want any of that drama. Conquering territories…utter childish nonsense!”

 “Hey! That sure beats moping over books in seclusion all the time,” Sir Pentious added, having noticed the physics books that Baxter had tucked in his bag.

 “And anyway, why can’t you make labs?” Sir Pentious asked.

 “Because the other demons perceive me as weak whenever I’m nearby. I have to go up to the surface to buy food and tools. I guess I could make labs underground, instead…oh but maybe that won’t do...”

 “I’ll make the labs for you. You’ll have a place to stay to conduct your so called experiments.”

 “I told you before I don’t need your help. Plus, I don’t trust you.”

 “Of course you don’t. I’d expect nothing less from demon commoners. But in exchange, you’ll need to help me with my machines.”

 “I can easily do that…if I had agreed to help you in ze first place!” Baxter laughed.

 “No sense of style, no life, what a shame,” Sir Pentious said, letting out a sigh. “Live like a fish underwater for all I care. No resources, no recognition. A sad life for a mad scientist.”

 Baxter just stared in disbelief, words lost on his lips. His scowl couldn’t hide the uncertainty in his eyes.

Sir Pentious continued. “Have fun taking risks on the surface and trying to defend yourself against sinners. Tally ho!”

 Sir Pentious turned to leave.

 Baxter gripped tightly on his shrink ray. He told himself that now would be a good opportunity to shrink the showy bastard from behind. But he hesitated.

 How much longer could Baxter last on the streets, moving from wet to dry environments for so long? Everyone else had jobs, friends, and even families. Not that he wanted to go out and socialize…he’d rather drown again.

 But he couldn’t live as a hermit…even in Hell. He had to find a way to get some stability in his afterlife.

 Perhaps he could even knock this inventor off his pedestal. Then he could be in the spotlight behind the scenes as it were.

  “Wait!” Baxter called.

 A sly grin formed on the snake’s face as he slowly turned back around.

 “Yes?”

 “I’ll…I’ll help you with your machines and everything. Just…help me get somewhere for me to live on land...but not far from the water. And I do want my work to be known…but not who or where I am.”

 “Fair enough. I do have some conditions.”

 “As do I,” said Baxter.  Both demons squared up. Sir Pentious spoke first.

 “I’ll need an army to help me conquer territory.”

 “And I’ll need some subjects to experiment on.”

 Sir Pentious spotted a nearby blue demon with six arms and red eyes. He dashed over to it and paralyzed it with a bite. He dragged the demon’s limp form over to Baxter.

“Ugh, not now, you imbecile. When I have the proper equipment to use.” He paused. “But I must say, your reflexes and speed are impressive.”

 “Why thank you.”

 Baxter glanced up at a flickering sign that read “Snake N’ Eggs Café, where all your eggs are deviled!” In neon lights, a green snake stood with an egg in its mouth. Neon white circles of eggs appeared to roll behind the snake.

 “Hmm…I think I have an idea for your army,” Baxter said. “Snakes like to eat eggs and from eggs hatch more snakes.”

 “So make more snakes from eggs?”

 “Well I could, but the birthing process would take a while.  And though you’re a snake demon, the DNA of sinners is slightly altered in comparison to the Hellborn. Missing chromosomes from ze sinners don’t allow for reproduction, not mammalian nor reptilian procreation…”

 Sir Pentous growled, “Speak English, fish geek.”

 Baxter paused. “You can’t give birth and make eggs. Which means we’ll have to artificially create the eggs.”

 “Oh.”

 “Yes…why not try…bringing the portable womb to life? Replace the yok with organs and label each one on the posterior shell with numbers. Find real eggs, enhance their sizes for a greater circumference ratio. Nourish each egg in growth containers, clone them, wait for them to come alive, repeat the process…”

  Sir Pentious stared blankly.

 “Weren’t ya listening?”

 Sir Pentious raised an eyebrow.

 Baxter frowned held out his hands like he was grabbing onto something circular. “Eggs,” he exasperated. “Grow and nourish eggs, bring them to life, and they’ll do everything you ask!”

 “Oh right,” Sir Pentious replied. “Living eggs. For food and my army. This could work…”

 “Brilliant. It costs 1,000…um, what’s the proper term for currency here?”

 “Souls.”

 “Oh right. Souls. You got that much?”

 “I can see you don’t. How long have you been wearing that outfit, huh?”

 Judging by the stench from it, it had been a while.

 “You need cleaning up. New clothes, new look, perhaps a new home. Everything will fall into place, I assure you. You can come into my lair…after we negotiate.”

 He held out his hand.

 Baxter stepped back. “No way in Hell am I making any deals with you, let alone going with you. I can pick up some things while I’m here.”

 “I need my army made now.”

 “Not until I have my labs completed and you being my first test subject.”

 “I need the egg army to…protect and help us while the labs are being created.”

 Baxter paused. “Well I…erm…” He looked around and spotted a palace with several red apple trees in the gardens.  

 “Hahaha!” He suddenly laughed. “I might as well kill you now!”

 Baxter fired the shrink ray, but Sir Pentious moved out of the way. With the flick of his long black tail, he knocked the scientist down and kicked the weapon away. Baxter quickly stood up.

 “In that case, I’ll call the princess. I’m sure her and her father and mother would love to hear how you terrorized towns and killed so many people in turf wars!”

 This time, Sir Pentious froze for a moment. One mistake and Lucifer could easily destroy him.

 “Oh yes, Lucifer won’t be happy. But who knows, you might even survive his punishment…when you’re sent to the void!”

 Sir Pentious looked ready to strike. “You’re not underwater anymore, good sir. You’re in my domain and you’d best remember that. By the way, how do you even know about my victories?”

  “I read the daily paper. Now then, it’s over, snake man.”

 Baxter made a dash for it, only for Sir Pentious to stick out his tail, causing him to trip. He fell with an “Oof!” Sir Pentious’ shadow loomed over him.

 Sir Pentious grinned. “Very well then…we can discuss this later on…”

 Before Baxter could make another move, Sir Pentious opened up his hood. The pink eyes glowed and hummed. The effect was mesmerizing. The scientist could not look away, no matter how hard he tried. Baxter’s eyes dilated and his body swayed. A loud hiss and a blur of rapid movement. A sharp prick raged from his cyan hand.

 Venom could not kill demons necessarily. It only made them sick, drugged or paralyzed.

 Sir Pentous hadn’t sunk his teeth in too deep…but it was sufficient enough to make Baxter gasp and double over on the ground.

 Baxter made a mental note on the use of hypnosis on future subjects before his mind went fuzzy. Sir Pentious’ maniacal laughter was the last thing he heard.

  Baxter slowly opened his eyes and found himself on a bunk bed inside of a cave. The cave was filled with weapons, tools and inventions in progress. Up on the wall was a recently made blueprint of a hideout and a volcano. The small workspace area had no windows. Baxter was free to move around, but the doors nearby were heavily locked.

 He walked over to a desk. A note was tapped to it and bold words were written on it.

   “Geek fish,

You will be safe from other demons here. Do not try to escape, for I know the ins and outs of this cavern. You’ll find a variety of tools to use and trays of food and water by your window. You may not leave until my egg army has been successfully made for me.

-         Sir Pentious”

   In just a few weeks, Baxter had helped create the Egg Bois for Sir Pentious. The number of eggs eventually grew until he had an army of them.

 The newly formed eggs rolled out of upright white chambers, when the doors hissed open. Each incubator and hatch could hold a dozen eggs. Indeed, the capsules that held the growing eggs were modeled after egg cartons. In the capsule, the eggs had been growing and suspended in yellow-tinted water surrounded by round glass coverings. Like regular eggs in a carton, the biological ones were slightly separated in rows.

 “HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Baxter cackled, as the eggs climbed out of the artificial wombs with their small arms and legs. “THEY’RE ALIVE!”

 “We get it, Frankenstein,” Sir Pentious replied, also boring a sinister grin.

  Right away, after the eggs were born, the eggs surrounded Sir Pentious and cheered.

 “Welcome Mr. Bossman! We’re not worthy!” they praised.

 Sir Pentious smirked but looked confused when Baxter laughed.

 “What?”

 “Don’t get too used to it,” he said. We both made them so they would be obedient but…I may have tweaked their personalities a bit. To make things more…intimate.”

 Several eggs nudged against Sir Pentious and one of them ran his little black hand suggestively along his jacket.

 Sir Pentious fired back with yells as Baxter laughed some more.

  “Well…well done,” Sir Pentious remarked, genuinely impressed, after he hissed at the eggs to back off. “Now, follow me.”

 “Where are we going?” Baxter asked.

 “To construct your labs of course.”

 Baxter was momentarily shocked. Did he hear him right?

 “So…you’re not gonna…ya know…”

 “Kill you?” asked the snake. “No, not yet. You’re useful enough, and quite frankly, very intelligent, savant even.”

 “No one has ever said anything like that. You sure you’re not lying?” He grinned.

 “Of course you nowhere near as sophisticated as me, but you’re reliable enough.”

 “Bullshit! I’ll prove to you that I’m the better creator in this inferno.”

 “Heh, we’ll see about that.”

 Baxter’s lab was soon finished a few weeks later (the building process would’ve taken far longer in the human world.)

 “Well, there you have it,” said Sir Pentious.

 “Thank you so much,” said Baxter.

 “You’re free to go,” said Sir Pentious. “But please…do come back and help me out sometimes.”

 “I’ll be alone in my lab most of the year,” he replied.

 “You can’t stay down there forever,” he countered. “For your hard work, I’ll spare destroying you.”

“I guess…you won’t have to be my test subject after all,” said Baxter. Then he thought, “At least for now.”

 Sir Pentious held out his hand. “Until we meet again?”

 Baxter shook it. “Until we meet again.”

 Green light suddenly flashed around them, the light emitting from their clasped hands. Baxter yanked his hand free and yelped like he had been shocked. Indeed, streams of electricity traveled along Sir Pentious’ hands before fizzing out. Sir Pentious let out a sinister laugh as the green light and blowing force around them vanished.

 “You, my friend, just fell for the oldest trick in the book! You unknowingly just made a deal with me. Congratulations, you work for me now!”

 “You traitor!” Baxter spat. He was half tempted to turn into a giant cyan blue anglerfish with a long body, sharp teeth and tail, his full demon form.

 But Sir Pentious would only knock him out again.

 “There’s nothing you can do now,” he said. “We now collaborate with each other. You’re my assistant and spy…and slave if you don’t behave.”

 “Why can’t I be in charge?”

 “I initiated the deal,” said Sir Pentious. “I’ve been here longer. Plus, you’ve got your labs made soon, all of your required equipment.”

 Baxter swore in German.

 “With my army and my machines, Hell will eventually belong to me! And you’ll get to see the fruit of my…er…our labors. See you around, Baxter.”

 With that, the villain laughed and left, leaving Baxter dumbfounded.

  Exterminators Attack

Hell, December 31st 1913

Sir Pentious and Baxter evade the Exterminators and learn about their weapons. When the Extermination is over, Sir Pentious and Baxter bond over slaughtering demons and taking over land. They also discuss their inventions and even make stuff together.

     Radio Demon Arrives

Hell, 1933

Sir Pentious and Baxter witness Alastor emerging from the shadow world, bathe din power. He almost kills Baxter when Baxter tries to study him but Sir Pentious distracts him enough to allow Baxter to escape. He is able to hypnotize/hold off Alastor for ten seconds before he is brutally knocked unconscious by him. Baxter hides until the radio static fades away, then quickly retrieves Sir Pentious and heals him in his lab.

 Alastor and Sir Pentious fight over Sir Pentious’ claimed town and the snake loses, barely managing to escape.

     Story of a Snake

London, 1800s/1888

Birthday March 8 1848 (Stamper’s birthday is March 8 1983)

Died October 8, 1888 (all the eights!)

Human name/s: Sangui (snake, Latin), Daedalus, (cunning in Greek)

Aristocrat, white face, long black hair, cunning eyes, thin chin, inventor, bisexual. Had pet cats. Drank tea. Died after a machine crushed him, leaving him stranded in a blizzard.

Died in 1888 in his 40s.

        Fish out of Water

Germany, 1912

 Died 1912 Birthday: May 2 1890 (supposed voice actor Vincent Tong birthday May 2 1980)

Human name: Dexter Ryan Solace (Dexter from Dexter’s laboratory)

Named after Ryan Solace, the fan voice actor who made Baxter’s Science Serenade)

Scientist, white face, short black hair, sea green eyes, wears a white lab coat and goggles. Performed unethical experiments on people. Wanted to kill off the dumb and ignorant, spreading disease/chemicals etc. Loved the oceans but also fished a lot and harmed marine life. Lurks in the shadows like the anglerfish. Died like “a fish out of water” on a boat and drowned while on the way to a new life in the U.S.

  Nefarious Niffty

Nelly, 1950s

 Niffty backstory of how she worked as a housemaid, chimney sweeper and killed her abusive husband. Her name was Nelly, white skin, short black hair. She died in the 1950s. She became obsessed and romantic, sewing together human skin for dresses. She would sometimes kill other women when they tried to interfere with her hitting on men. She also rejected her Christian upbringing, though she still had to clean and cook to make a living. When her parents died from illness/pox, she wrote fanfiction and read alone. Her fanfiction is the sexual/fluff, bad typical kind.

At age 22, she got shot three times near her hips as retaliation. She was held against her will near the flames and smoke, which killed her. Her body was thrown in a fireplace and thus she ended up in Hell, where she later made a deal with Alastor. She got trapped in a lake of fire until she was summoned by Alastor when he easily charmed her into making a deal with him.

 Present day

Niffty likes Alastor, Baxter, Vox, Sir Pentious and pretty much any man. She wants a fantasy world where she can have them all to herself...a world of order, cleanliness, and spilled blood.

  Hazbin Misfits

Present day, episode 2

The scene starts with everyone eating Alastor’s jambalaya. The other misfits arrive at the hotel and adventures ensue. Even Alastor’s parents are also seen.

Baxter befriends the other residents, being closest to Niffty, Crymini and Mimzy. But Baxter suspects that there’s more to Niffty than her cheerful demeanor would suggest. He starts to develop small affectionate feelings for Crymini, but little does he know that Sir Pentious has feelings for him. He has nightmares about Sir Pentious burning Hell and the Hazbin Hotel, and watching him devour a helpless Crymini as the egg bois surround him. (But Baxter is thankful that he is not Alastor and knows that he is worse than Sir Pentious.)

                                  What if the same person who helped create the Egg Bois for Sir Pentious, was also the same person he had a crush on? When two mad geniuses start to collaborate on inventions, their feelings might become more than casual associations.

Introducing: Baxtious (Baxter and Sir Pentious)

Sir Pentious meets with Baxter after his recent defeat by Alastor. Where else but in... "Baxter's Laboratory!"

   Part 1: That’s Sabotage (Sir Pentious)

 Part 2: The creation (and recreation) of the Egg Bois (Baxter)

 Part 2: Back to the 1800s: cruel fashionable CEO (Sir Pentious)

 Part 3: Back to the 1950s: Science studier, loner, and initiator of unethical experiments (Baxter) (born an Aquarius)

 Baxter quotes: “Back off!” (like Myron Reducto)

“No touching, no adjusting, and most importantly, no breaking!” – Baxter to Charlie and others when they visit one of his labs at the Hazbin Hotel

“Results must be published, shared to the world like ripples in the ocean. Yes, I do desire to work alone in my controlled environment, but the fun comes from observing the catastrophic results behind the scenes!”

 “So what if my experiments were unethical? Sometimes, a great price comes with the pursuit of knowledge. I’d never get as far as I did without taking some…risks as it were. Rats gave their little lives for me to test my formulas. Aquatic creatures contained and brought to the surface to test underwater technology. And poor humans (and later demons), brought into my labs against their will, all for the greater good of science! Prison studies, electric shocks, suspended animation, injections, all just the tip of the iceberg. Knowledge is power…and with great power comes great responsibility.”

  “Yes, I was the one who helped him create his dozens of egg minions. He mentioned “a stylish all-powerful lord like me needs an endless army!” He came up with the idea of using eggs, as snakes are born from eggs. Was certainly been better than, say an army of rats (which he would eat). We put mini-brains and organs mixed with egg yok and brought them to life with some electricity and a bit of magic. We have almost a thousand, now. I also assist him with repairs to his airship, ray guns, weapons etc. In exchange, he spares my underground labs from being destroyed on the surface and I provide him with a lair to plan his schemes.”

-Baxter about Sir Pentious

 “I despise being touched and bothered when I’m doing my work. Sir Pentious feels the same way. Good thing is, I don’t have Egg Bois running around trying to pester me with ass kissing and sexual innuendos. Unlike him, I don’t boast about my accomplishments to everyone. He goes out there and claims Hell as his turf, while I prefer to keep to myself. He makes war machines mostly, while I specialize in poisons, chemicals, potions, and yes, A.I.s too. I have a secret shrink ray I use in self-defense.” -Baxter

 “Some call me “a little gremlin fish,” the nerve of them! So what if I occasionally cause some power outages and make Vox mad? It’s all for research and figuring things out. I still have yet to figure out how that overlord Alastor got to be so powerful. If only I could harness the powers of other demons and use them for further study. I could perhaps make A.I. soldiers with all their powers, then I’d truly be an unstoppable force in Hell! Hahahahaha!”

Niffty: *knocks on the door* “Housekeeping!”

Baxter: (sighs)

 “Like anglerfish, I reside in the depths and darkness of Hell, using light or perhaps my unique appearance to lure gullible prey to their inevitable doom. I read that male anglerfish latch onto and fuse with females like parasites. I latch onto Lady Science.” – Baxter

 “Sir Pentious is picky about fashion and social class. I’m preoccupied with order and cleanliness. Everything must be in their proper place when I’m around. Though I may be a mad scientist, there is order in my chaos. Hell is so disorganized and loud, and messy. Not to mention the insufferable heat and the crowds. Not the most ideal environment, that’s for sure.”

-Baxter

 Baxter: Neurotic, logical, OCD, theorizes that Niffty (being small) is evil?

  Part 4: Machine malfunction and blizzard death: from an untrusting “snake” to real snake (Sir Pentious)

 Part 5: Drowning like the Titanic: once a “shark” now an anglerfish. Anglerfish with its glowing lights was the creature Baxter experimented on the most…then fate said the tides must turn. (Baxter)

 Part 6: Baxter’s Laboratory

   <p>Alastor was both fond of deer and hunted them. He was shot like a "deer in the headlights."</p>

 <p>Katie was like a locust, annoying, focused only on herself, a real deadly "bugger." </p>

 <p>Tom Trench died in the trenches from gas and thus had a gas mask for a face. </p>

 <p>Vox died from being crushed by a TV, during a time when television became popular.</p>

 <p>Sir Pentious liked snakes but was a dirty "snake in the grass" in life.</p>

 <p>Angel Dust was caught in the web of drugs and porn, and would lure others in like a deadly spider.</p>

 <p>"Curiosity killed the cat" for Husk when he gambled and drank himself to death after a debt and the Vietnam War.</p>

 <p>Vaggie in life was fond of moths but she herself was lured to the light that was romance/freedom...falling into danger too late.</p>

 <p>Cyclops were strong and worked for Gods, similar to how Niffty works for Alastor and how strong she is. Cherri Bomb is strong but she doesn't work for anyone (that we know of)</p>

 <p>Stolas is a Gnostic owl demon, who taught knowledge and ruled over many legions of demons. </p>

 <p>Baxter liked marine life and the oceans, but also harmed the fish he caught in the name of science. He died like a "fish out of water," taking on anglerfish traits.</p>

[tora-the-cat]

Baby Rin & Obito thoughts

-I don’t think people understand what it means that Obito and Rin were best friends since they were 5. Like. I just get the vibe that half the fandom can’t conceptualize that accurately.

-(I can though)

-5. 5! They were actual babies!

-When they’re super young and obviously pre-transitioned they still would steal each others clothes and try to confuse people over who’s who, like identical twins.

-They were child soldiers growing up during the war! By all likelihoods, they were drafted into the academy at all of 5 years old. They graduated at 10! Obito wasn’t seen as a ‘genius’ by any stretch of imagination, so we can only assume this was the common graduating age during the 3rd war. How much more harsh is the curriculum? How much more traumatizing? Paranoia inducing? propagandist?

-Me and my best friend since 5 both had relatively healthy home lives, none of the ninja brand trauma, and we STILL ended up basically codependent. These poor kids had no chance.

-There’s no way these two aren’t in each others pocket. Was there a single secret between the two of them? One topic that was forbidden? Probably not! To Both!

-the two of them could hold entire conversations, arguments, lectures, in a matter of moments with just micro-expressions. It often seemed that the only time Obito would shut up was when he and Rin were staring at each other and their faces would twitch, sometimes for minutes on end, as if that was as natural a way of communicating as speaking.

-It was very useful on covert operations! It was very frustrating during team building exersises, because neither of them were really used to trying to actaully get closer to people besides eachother.

-they had so many in-jokes that Minato and Kakashi sometimes thought they were speaking another language entirely. 

-Every time there was a foldable chair in Rin’s sight, she would obnoxiously clear her throat and shoot it meaningful looks, and Obito would seethe, looking seconds away from blowing up, but never would and never explained why.  

-Obito would dramatically throw himself in front of Rin and shout about protecting her whenever he spotted a squirrel, and act completely confused and annoyed when Minato and Kakashi didn’t acknowledge the threat and take it seriously. 

-Obito would collect four leaf clovers whenever he saw them and then when he braided Rin’s hair for her he’d weave them into it without her even noticing until hours or, on particularly hard missions, days later. Still, everytime she found one, no matter how bad the mission or the horrors she had just seen or was on her way to see, she would pick it out with more care then Kakashi knew anything could be done and gave it a look so soft it made Kakashi inexplicably angry and she'd smile, like it was the easiest thing to do, and her haunted eyes would clear just a little as she snuck them into Obito’s Kunai pouch.

-It was impossible to get one alone without the other. They orbited around each other, never further then a shout away, Joined at the hip. 

-They were always touching, be it the common hand holding, or Obito whining and hanging off of Rin, or Rin reprimanding him and squeezing his shoulders, or them dragging each other around the village, or Rin poking Obito in the nose to make him scrunch it up, or Obito squshing Rin’s cheeks until she stops pretending to ignore him or touching foreheads and promising everything will be alright or playing intricate handgames at recess because no one else will play with them or tapping out messages in their own mortified morse code or- it could go on forever. It should have.

-Do Not Mistake Their Undying Dependency On Each Other As A Lack Of The Ablity To Throw Hands, however. They would roughhouse, and they were visious. They would bite and pull hair and pinch and get close to each others ears to make high pitched noises and tickle and tumble on the dirt. They didn’t even need a real reason- or at least not one Minato could see. There would be a glint in one of their eyes, and then a flash of fear in the other’s, and it would start with no further warning.

-It didn’t matter where, it didn’t matter when. In public. At dinner. While Minato is in the middle of talking. Rain, snow, hail. Usually not on missions, thankfully, but worryingly often on the way back from missions. Kakashi still breaks into an anxious cold sweat everytime he goes to Suna, a ghost of the memory of the first time Obito and Rin saw the dessert remembered with surprising clarity. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

-Like wolf pups, Minato once said, and Kakashi didn’t talk to him for a week- wolves would never be so undignified. Rin would lick Obito to throw him off and Obito would use his inhumanely boney elbows to stab her (weapons were always discarded for these scruff- they weren’t spars, they were personal) and she would fling dirt into his mouth and he would spit it back into her eyes. They were disgusting. 

-If they worked together and fought half as dirty with Kakashi as they did with eachother, he would have had a bad time. But, somehow, there was just. Something that made them go rabid on each other in a way Minato was never able to fully provoke in them, even mid-war.

-(it’s the Cain Instinct.)

-They were of the naive but firm belief that they would never be without the other, and, horrifically, most could see it was true. Not because they were strong or because the world was too kind to kill one and leave the other- it was just so blatantly obvious that, should one of them leave, the other would follow without hesitation.

-Even Minato was resigned to the fact that if one of them died the other was just a ticking time bomb, despite all his efforts.

-(and he did make an effort. He knew there was a slim chance their story would end well, the way it was. Knew that codependent shinobi were liabilities. He tried to get them to spend time alone and practice more bounderies and make connections outside of each other, but it rarely worked and never for long. They got anxious and twitchy alone, constantly worried about the other. Obito reapplied Rin’s seals when she couldn’t and Rin taught him to get away with petty revenges, and they were all each other had.)

-But, because of this, they were convinced that if one of them was good at something the other didn’t really need to bother with it- expended effort, when they’re both right there anyway. Unless it was fun to practice together, of course, mostly encompassing Taijutsu. 

-Rin did Fuinjutsu, Obito did Genjutsu. Rin started Iryouninjutsu, Obito started Kenjutsu. Rin practiced Suiton and Raiton, Obito practiced Katon and Doton. they balanced each other out, kept each other grounded- they completed each other. It felt like they only had each other, more often then not, and sometimes it was true.

-When they were younger, it was always true. They were both orphans by 7. Rin’s mom died in childbirth, her dad stayed around long enough to teach her how to stay alive and how her Kekkei Genkai worked as far as he could remember, but She was a born citizen of Konoha and the village wouldn’t let go of a potential asset, and he couldn’t stay in the village that let his village get destroyed and his wife die. He left her. Obito’s parents were both Shinobi that disappeared mysteriously and were never seen again.

-Gran tried, but she was old and blind and could barely remember Obito half the time. In the end, it was the two of them against the world.

-The Uchiha didn’t care, besides the minor annoyance at Rin entering their compound so often, but. She was Uzushio, and the clan heads were close to the Uzumaki, which basically meant they weren’t allowed to bully an Uzushio clan kid. Obito’s Gran was just happy he had a friend. 

-Rin remembered something her Dad told her, and gives Obito a Nohara Seal-Tattoo on the inside of his right wrist, making him an honorary member by the laws of her clan that doesn’t really exist anymore and has literally no significance or benefit in the village. He cries anyway.

-They pretty much always sleep together. Sleepovers are nightly by the time they turn 8. by the time they’re 9, they make a paranoid habit of taking turns on watch. By the time they’re 10, they are outright offended when Minato tries to insist Rin gets her own tent because she’s a ‘growing young lady’ and ‘please Kushina will kill me’. 

-They have a secret code. and by ‘a secret code’ I mean several secret codes. Minato figured most of them out. Kakashi did not. It’s a point of pride.

-Despite everyone’s constant objections, Rin somehow always ended up in the middle of a fight, slipping behind Obitio’s back and making up for his defects as easily as breathing. Kakashi always berated her- she was the Med NIn! If she got hurt or killed, they didn’t have anyone to heal her!

-She did not care. She understood, and sometimes felt a little bad about it, but did not care. ‘you join combat for emergencies only’ they insisted, and her automatic response was simple: If Obito is in danger, then it’s an emergency.

-Minato dropped it pretty quickly and instead just focused on training her to be as murder-resistant as possible- sometimes he knew a losing battle when he saw it. 

-Kakashi never dropped it until one day he activates her Cain Instinct and she paralyzes him for 8 hours with the med-nin fighting style she was inventing because she was terrifying.

-And I haven’t even touched on them both being trans and supporting eachother through that, and I omitted 600 words about their first kills and biggest fight ever! I could talk about team minato forever god bless

-Sure, Obito got a crush on Rin at somepoint, but that wasn’t the defining part of their relationship. He didn’t go crazy because Rin didn’t like him back, or because she liked Kakashi. He went crazy because she died. She was the most important person in the world to him, his soulmate, platonic or not.

-Obito ‘died’, and Rin self destructed. She was ashamed of it but, really, she only lived on as long as she did after kanabi because she knew Obito would want her too. She couldn’t look kakashi in the eyes. She had several heart attacks because her seals would fade, and she would refuse to tell anyone else how to do them. 

-She wrote entire notebooks of things she would tell him when she died so she didn’t forget a thing, stepped around shamrocks like they were posion ivy. Her hair was uncut. She never joined a fight. She killed squirrels on sight with a flash of morbid humor and greif, and still wouldn’t explain why, and she’d rather sit on the floor then in a folding chair. 

-Kakashi didn’t want to admit it, couldn’t admit it, even to himself, for years, maybe decades, but in the last few months of her life Rin wasn’t alive. She tried, so hard, for Kakashi’s sake, but she wasn’t. She was a shell of her former self, more impulsive, less quick to smile, more cynical then he thought she would ever be.

-Rin died, and Obito stopped existing. It only made sense- who was he without Rin? 

-No one. He was a blank slate, melted down so Madara could form him anew. He became Madara and  Tobi and The Masked Man and a Clan Killer, but he would never be Obito again, because there was no Obito without Rin.

-Losing one another wasn’t like losing a limb. It wasn’t like having a part of their soul ripped out. It was nothing so mild. It was losing themself. It was having their soul souls beaten bloodily, shredded, and then disappear without a trace.

-everyone was right, in the end, about them. A tragedy waiting to happen. Terminally codependant. Minato said that once one died, the other was a ticking time bomb, and he was right. He just wished he wasn’t.

....Anyway yeah next time I see someone whine about how its pathetic that Obito tried to destroy the world because his school girl crush died like hes some Incel throwing a fit, I'll go feral.

[puroresu-musings]

NJPW NEW JAPAN ROAD Night 1 Review (Feb 20th, 2020, Tokyo, Korakuen Hall)

Yota Tsuji vs. Gabriel Kidd  **3/4

Hirooki Goto, Will Ospreay, YOSHI-HASHI & Yuya Uemura vs. Minoru Suzuki, Taichi, El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru  ***1/2

Kazuchika Okada, Toru Yano & Colt Cabana vs. Togi Makabe, Tomoaki Honma & Toa Henare  **1/2

Manabu Nakanishi, Yuji Nagata, Hiroyoshi Tenzan, Satoshi Kojima & Tiger Mask vs. Tetsuya Naito, Hiromu Takahashi, SANADA, EVIL & BUSHI  ***1/4

Hiroshi Tanahashi, Kota Ibushi, Juice Robinson & David Finlay vs. Jay White, Bad Luck Fale & Guerrillas Of Destiny  **3/4

IWGP Jr. HEAVYWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: SHO & YOH (c) vs. Ryusuke Taguchi & Rocky Romero  ****+

NEVER OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Shingo Takagi (c) vs. Tomohiro Ishii  ****3/4

Photos.

This was a fun Korakuen Hall with a fantastic war of a main event, and a great semi final. The Young Lion opener was a solid, though far from spectacular, affair which Tsuji won with a Crab in 7 minutes. The second match was an all-action encounter,  driven by Yuya Uemura’s death wish exchanges with Minoru Suzuki. The Young Lion sprinted to the ring ahead of his team and immediately attacked the veteran, initially getting the better of him. It didn’t last though as the slippery shooter was soon beating the crap out of him all over the building. Despite Uemura’s spirited performance, it wasn't enough as he was put away with a Deep Impact from Kanemaru at the 11:20 mark. Suzuki nailed the youngster with a stiff knee lift in the post match, then lifted him up in the Gotch Piledriver, but threw him down to the mat instead of delivering the move. The CHAOS trio of Okada, Yano and Colt Cabana were victorious over GBH and Henare in a comedy outing, that was essentially a night off for all. The Cabana and Yano stuff was the driving factor here, so as you can imagine, it was played almost entirely for laughs. After Yano hit a low blow behind the refs back on Honma, Colt got the win at exactly 9 minutes with the Superman pin.

The Manabu Nakanishi retire tour continued next with a really fun ten man tag, in which the New Japan Dads took on LIJ. As you’d expect, the crowd was hot for this, but it was sloppy in spots, no doubt. The finish saw Big Nak get EVIL in the Argentine Backbreaker, which he transitioned into the Hercules Cutter, then hit his ever-graceful plancha out of the ring onto everyone, whilst Kojima put the King Of Darkness away with a Lariat at the 10:38 mark. Next match saw the Golden Aces and Fin Juice lose to the Bullet Club quartet of GOD, White and Fale. This was honestly nothing special, and it was pretty rough in spots. Ibushi doesn’t look 100% after his illness and poor Tanahashi’s knees are obviously causing him some discomfort as he does not look good when he’s running those ropes. This was just a solid outing that you’d see on any house show. The finish came after Tanga Loa hit Juice with the Tag Title belt to steal a win in just over 11 minutes. The Bullet Clubbers then laid everyone out in the post match. I can only but hope this means that the titles are going to Tana and Ibushi tomorrow, because god knows we don't need another lengthy GOD run.

The Jr. Tag Titles were on the line next as Roppongi 3K defended against the Coach duo of Romero and Taguchi. This was a rematch of a great match they had in the Super Jr Tag League last Autumn, and this was just as good. However, at 26:47, this was a bit too long and dragged somewhat in the middle.  It picked up into an excellent encounter in the final stages however, which saw SHO hit a big Lariat on Romero, then hit a deadlift German for a 2 count. He follows that up with the Powerbomb onto the knees, but Taguchi makes the save. SHO tries Shock Arrow, but Rocky turns it into a small package, the same way the won the previous match, for a great near fall. SHO and YOH hit their mentor with a modified version of 3K, but again The Funky Weapon makes the save and takes the champions out with the flying hip attacks. After Rocky and SHO traded jujigatame’s, and YOH wiped Taguchi out with a tope, SHO hit the cross armed piledriver on Romero for another near fall. The Strong X follows and SHO finally pins Rocky to retain. This was a great match by the end, and all four men worked really hard.

Then it was main event time. This was tremendous, as you’d expect, and was an all out hard-hitting war. I will say that I’d rewatched their classic from the G1 last week for the first time since it happened, and beyond the fact I liked more this time than when first I saw it, it’s painfully obvious that ishii is hurting bad at the moment. No joke, he looks a decade older than he did in August! This started with an intense lockup, before they started slugging away on each other in glorious fashion, including both destroying the other with their own versions of the Tenryu chop/punch combo in the corner. Ishii tries a piledriver on the apron, but Shingo reverses into a Death Valley Bomb on the apron, rolls Ishii back in, and scores near falls with a Sliding Bomber and Noshigami. They trade super hard Lariats, followed by Backdrop drivers, then slam into each other with more hard Lariats, before both crumpling to the mat, much to Korakuen’s approval. The Stone Pitbull gets a near fall with a power bomb, then another with a massive Superplex. After another exchange, Shingo nails a big Pumping Bomber, and follows up with Made In Japan for a near fall. Takagi comes off the ropes with another massive Pumping Bomber, but Ishii kicks at one as the place goes crazy. Ishii hits a German Suplex, but Takagi pops up, only to run straight into a big time Lariat, but this time he kicks at one. Ishii cuts him off with a nasty looking gamengiri, then tries the Brainbuster, but Shingo turns it into an Emerald Flowsion for a great near fall. Shingo hits his draping version of GTR, and another Pumping Bomber for a super believable near fall, then finally hoists The Stone Pitbull up into Last Of The Dragon to retain the NEVER title after 27:04 of wonderfully stiff action. Shingo looked amazing here, refusing to backdown from a surplus of punishment, and Ishii’s selling was out of this world in terms of believability, and they delivered one of the best matches of the year so far.

NDT

[fifiliphaser]

Don’t Give Me Flannel (Cherik Ficlet)

[AO3 Version]

“You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU

So, yeah, here we are. It was supposed to be a shorter one-shot, around 1,000 words or so, but I sort of took that prompt and ran with it, because apparently I cannot write something without any world-building in it. But it was a pure pleasure to write, even if I should've been working on my other WIPs. *sigh*

Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this short—yet still somehow almost four times longer than intended—ficlet.

It's not beta-ed, just edited and proofread by myself, so you know the drill—and I'll be really grateful for any valuable remarks!

“Can you finally go to bed?”

Although Erik’s voice is hoarse, his annoyance seeps through very clearly. As a result, the question sounds more like an order, despite it not really being Erik’s intention. Nonetheless, he’s too groggy to care.

Generally, Erik Lehnsherr has always prided himself in being quite a heavy sleeper, capable of sleeping through anything and everything ever since he remembers. Even when he was just a few years old, he would occasionally wake up to hear about the storm roaring through the night, which did little to disrupt his sleep. His mother used to joke that the bomb blowing up nearby wouldn’t manage to jolt him awake. The manifestation of his powers in the early teenage years disrupted his routine for a while, but he managed to go back to it by the time he started university, and this time he hasn’t let anything get in the way of getting a healthy amount of sleep.

Willing himself to fall asleep has never been problematic either, even with a lot of background noise. Unfortunately, it seems like the light is his ultimate weakness. He’s been struggling to doze off for quite a while now, but a small lamp still kept alight turns it into a truly challenging feat. Facing the wall that his bed was pushed to, his eyes closed shut, he’s desperately trying to force his mind to finally shut down, having already given a shot to counting sheep and focusing on his breathing. Sadly, without the comforting darkness to drown out any unwanted late-night thoughts, he is unable to succumb to sleep. The worst thing is, he’s slowly growing more and more desperate and the thought to just ask Charles—the very culprit behind his current predicament—to do this for him keeps lingering at the forefront of his mind.

A quiet groan escapes his lips as Erik turns around, towards the rustle of paper behind him. Charles Xavier, his roommate, the fellow student who also happens to be a mutant, is sitting on the carpet between their two beds, surrounded by an array of textbooks and notes. He is, by far, one of the very few people whom Erik tolerates and who somehow tolerate him in return, which is still somewhat unbelievable to Erik—how such a person as Charles, so unbearably idealistic and impossibly kind, would like to as much as simply be in his presence continues to escape his comprehension.

Nevertheless, here they are, Charles spread on the floor and Erik failing to fall asleep. Overall, Charles is quite a nice roommate, certainly much better than the previous ones that Erik was unlucky to live with. (Or maybe it was them who were unlucky enough to cross his path, Erik wonders sometimes.) Although a chatter, Charles doesn’t bother with meaningless conversations and he has a quick wit, which is even more prominent over the chessboard that they sometimes use to play, all of which make him a pleasant enough companion even on the worst of days. His bright big eyes, with their remarkable blueness only accentuated by the flannel pajamas he is currently wearing and with his floppy hair falling over them, make him look rather appealing, as a quite impressive group of both male and female students can corroborate. Despite that, Charles’s favourable looks are no more than a pleasant addition, or so Erik tries to convince himself of.

He cuts that train of thought short, though. They are friends, even though this label hardly conveys the depth of their bond. Charles may be the closest person Erik has ever been to, other than his parents, which makes him just about the only family Erik has left. To ruin the most meaningful friendship in Erik’s life due to his irrational sexual urges is just unthinkable. So he proceeds to do what he’s been doing for weeks now, burying the budding attraction deep enough that the telepath won’t see it.

“I can’t fall asleep with the light on,” he grumbles, seeing that Charles has hardly reacted to his previous question. When that doesn’t work either, Erik continues, his brows furrowing, “I have an exam tomorrow, too, you know.”

Charles finally looks up at him, and his eyes are sparkling in the warm light of his bedside lamp, his liveliness evident despite the dark circles under them. Erik shouldn’t find that sight so endearing, and yet, he’s mesmerised all the same, almost forgetting his own annoyance.

“Yeah, sorry,” Charles says apologetically, gazing down at the notebook he’s just been leafing through. His lips, even redder than usual, what with the way Charles continues to chew at them, curl into a little self-deprecating smile. Erik can’t help but trace their movements when his friend adds, “Just… five more minutes.”

It’s clear how tired Charles is, leaning on his hand which is perched up on his lap and visibly fighting off the urge to let his head drop on his notes. Erik rolls his eyes, irritated with Charles’s insistence even more so now that he sees his exhaustion. It may even explain why Erik’s own tiredness feels so profound; if Charles is on the verge of falling asleep, his shields are prone to get weaker and sometimes he starts projecting his feelings, as if his mind was trying to get rid of the sense of fatigue simply by pushing it away.

In truth, Erik doesn’t mind it as much as he thought he would. He minds feeling more tired than he actually is, that is, but not the mental contact itself. It never fails to surprise him, how much he actually enjoys having someone brushing against his thoughts. Of course, he believes that all mutants should be treated equally, regardless of the nature of their mutation; and yet, telepaths are often facing quite a lot of resentment, even within the mutant community itself. For many, it is one thing to pass someone with a tail or a pair of wings on the street without batting an eye, and something else entirely to have a stranger overhear your thoughts—something intimate and meant to exist only for you to listen.

Erik can understand where such reservations might come from, even though he himself doesn’t view telepathy as so problematic. In fact, the anti-psionic bias seems to be chiefly the product of ignorance—there aren’t that many telepaths, most of whom not even powerful enough to fully enter someone’s mind without touching that person or at least being in a very close proximity to them, but people nevertheless are afraid of feeling so exposed, with more than unfavourable portrayal of telepathy in the media as manipulative and exploitative only feeding their fear.

Not that telepaths are actually interested in reading or controlling everyone’s minds; the fact that is obvious to anyone who has actually met a telepath. It would be exhausting, after all, to listen closely to every thought that comes your way. Not even mentioning the fact that a lot of people think they’re incredibly interesting and worthy of attention, while, in actuality, their thoughts are mundane and their secrets nonsignificant.

Erik has crossed paths with enough telepaths to know that. Besides, if telepaths truly did always listen to one’s every thought, Charles would already bloody well know how annoyed Erik has been for quite a while now.

“You’ve been cramming it for—” Erik reaches out with his power, tugging at the magnetic lines surrounding him, and feels the hands of Charles’s watch which is still wrapped around his wrist.

The soft hum of its metal is pleasantly familiar. Charles takes it off only to sleep, and its constant presence allows Erik to sense him, even if his friend is out of sight. It never ceases to surprise Erik how comforting he finds it, the possibility to feel Charles’s warm skin against the stainless steel of the watch anytime he wishes, wherever he is.

Erik reads the hour and groans resignedly, “—for six hours straight. You know everything that you need already.”

“I have to ace it,” Charles mutters, his gaze fixed back on his notes.

He bites his lower lip, again, and it’s truly infuriating how captivating it is. Erik spends entirely too much time looking at those plush red lips of Charles’s, wondering distantly if they’re as soft as they look and if their redness would be even more intense after a thorough kiss…

It’s getting ridiculous. He shouldn’t allow himself to think such things, especially not about a telepath.

“Did you even touch the tea I made you?,” Erik demands instead, resisting the temptation to ask another question that sits at the tip of his tongue, one that is as improper as it is stupid.

A quick glance at Charles’s nightstand confirms what Erik has already suspected. The green mug with a cat and a silly chemistry pun printed on it is standing exactly where Erik put it three hours ago.

Charles looks up once again, his lips rounding in a way that is both adorable and infuriating. What’s more, the sudden movement makes his hair, ruffled from the way Charles runs his hands through them every now and then, fall down his forehead, and Erik barely battles the urge to reach out and gently brush them away.

“Oh,” Charles breathes, his wide eyes making him look like a puppy whose owner has just scolded them for something that they are absolutely guilty of. “I’m terribly sorry, my friend,” he says sheepishly, averting his gaze. “I’ve got too immersed in all of this.” His hand flies around over all the books, the sleeve of his slightly too big flannel pyjamas tumbling down his forearm and falling over his wrist.

Why Charles insists on sleeping in that atrocious thing, whose only saving grace is its nice blue colour, remains a mystery to Erik. Their dorm room is relatively warm, even in winter, and yet Charles seems to be perpetually cold at night, sleeping under a pile of blankets all year long. Erik is reluctant to admit it, but it worries him that although the summer is about to start, Charles’ nightwear hasn’t yet changed. If he’s so cold, perhaps there could be a way to warm him up a bit. Which is hardly the best line of thinking for now, because the only solutions Erik can think of involve things that he’s pretty sure Charles wouldn’t want.

A small shudder runs down his spine, and Erik has to clear his suddenly dry throat, forcing his mind to think about something else—anything else, really. He ends up recalling the details of a few cases which will most probably prove to be useful during tomorrow’s exam, trying not to wonder how it would be to wrap his arms around Charles and pull him under the covers.

Frustratingly, even repeating in his head what he already knows by heart isn’t tedious enough to put his mind to sleep.

“You can’t keep doing that.” Erik’s voice sounds annoyed even to his own ears, more so than before.

“I know, I know…,” Charles says under his breath, clearly having completely recovered from his previous mortification.

“You should’ve started earlier.” Erik’s tone might be a bit too harsh, certainly more than he intended. He can’t help himself but be frustrated, though, what with everything that watching Charles raise his hand and gently tap his fingers against his lips does to Erik’s insides.

Charles sighs, burying his face in his hands. “I know that too.” Erik can barely hear him, his voice muffled by his fingers, but he can tell that Charles must be annoyed with himself too. “Just… this isn’t half as interesting as the project I’m working on,” he explains, with an edge to his tone.

Erik rolls his eyes, though there’s hardly any malice behind the gesture. “I can believe that, but it’s getting annoying,” he says a little less sternly, despite his patience seriously dwindling.

“Sorry.” But Charles doesn’t look so sorry as he grabs one of the textbooks and opens it, back in that study mode of his.

Taking a deep breath, Erik barely refrains from raising his voice, his irritation only worsened by the worry about Charles’s awful sleeping habits. “You know all of that. Go to bed already.”

Charles’s thoughts are clearly far away from their conversation when he mumbles, “Just… let me finish—”

“Charles, you’re overtaxing yourself.” Erik’s tone is yet again harsh, though this time he can’t keep worry out of his voice.

The telepath doesn’t even respond, his whole attention at the textbook on his lap. Despite his immersion in the text, Charles’s head continues to be drooping, his back leaning heavily on the frame of his bed, and Erik doesn’t know what to do anymore to make this man finally get some sleep.

It’s still somewhat bewildering to him, to care for another person’s well-being so much that he starts completely brushing aside his own. It’s not like he is uncaring, but ever since his parents passed away Erik hasn’t allowed himself to get too close to other people. His wounds haven’t properly healed yet, and the thought of losing anyone else is so unbearable that he’d rather isolate himself than face the prospect of going through that again. Yet, he finds himself growing more and more fond of Charles with every passing day.

Although everyone seems to love Charles—that goes without question—Erik isn’t like everyone and a creature of very little trust, so he can’t be easily swayed into liking someone, even if confronted with the smoothest of flattery. But Charles isn’t like anyone else either and hardly an overconfident and snobbish smooth talker that Erik thought he was upon their first meeting. It took more than a couple of heated discussions during quite a few classes and the mutant rights club meetings and one memorable party, however, for Erik to start appreciating Charles’s seemingly endless enthusiasm, his infuriating idealism and the admirable faithfulness to his own ideals, and, most of all, his unconditional kindness. 

As a cynic and a firm believer in the need for separation between baseline humans and mutants, Erik naturally would never agree with Charles’s integrationist ideas, though deep down he has to begrudgingly admit that such an approach might be beneficial in some instances. Besides, it’s not his fault, really, that Erik can’t resist that warm laughter, the playful quirk of that red mouth, and the mischievous glint in those hauntingly blue eyes. If he didn’t know much about telepathy, he’d think that this endearing charm is just a trick, but he knows better. Charles really happens to be just as charming, as if having the magnetic personality of an opposite pole, whose call is quite hard for Erik to resist.

Which doesn’t make Charles’s late-night study sessions any less irritating.

Erik must do something to make Charles finally go to sleep, and if the Charles way of talking and negotiating doesn’t work, it’s time for the Erik way. He slips from under the covers and jumps to the floor.

“Erik, give it back!,” Charles shrieks the second Erik snatches the book away from his hands, though his protests are much weaker than usual.

“I need sleep and so do you,” Erik says stubbornly, hugging the book to his chest. “So, just put it all away, or I’ll do that for you.”

Charles looks at him for a long moment, the exasperation in his expression mixed with something else, something odd. There’s a heaviness to his gaze that makes Erik shift minutely, slightly uncomfortable under the scrutiny of those brilliant eyes.

“You’re insufferable sometimes,” Charles says eventually, although he doesn’t sound resigned, only mildly amused.

“You’re the one to talk,” Erik snaps back, albeit good-naturedly.

Signing once again, Charles just shakes his head, a small smile creeping on his lips. Then, he fixes Erik with a stern gaze.

“I’ll go to sleep when I finish this chapter,” he says seriously, and the determination that is colouring his eyes suggests that he won’t step down this time.

Erik purses his lips and regards him for a moment, contemplating the offer. The chances for negotiating conditions more favourable for Erik are scarce, and now is not a good time to pick up a fight. It seems best to relent.

“Okay, I’ll take your word for it,” Erik decides, slowly releasing the book from his grasp.

Charles quickly goes to grab it before he can even let go of it, the telepath’s fingers brushing against Erik’s forearms and leaving a trail of the pleasant tingling sensation behind. Erik can’t help but sit here transfixed, the plush carpet soft against the bare skin of his shins, as Charles goes back to studying. There’s something enthralling in watching him in his element—because as exhausted as Charles is, there’s still so much passion in the way he’s practically devouring what is written on the pages before him. His eyes are alight again, and his lips are moving—lightly, captivatingly—as he’s quietly repeating the crucial tidbits of information.

Erik has never wanted to kiss someone so much in his entire life.

Although the book is once again laying open on his lap and stealing all his attention, Charles looks up from it, apparently having noticed Erik’s dumbfounded expression. “You can go back to bed now,” he points out lightly, his brows drawn in mild confusion.

“Not until I tuck you in first,” Erik responds before he has time to think much about his words.

He doesn’t even get a chance to start feeling self-conscious, however, as Charles is seemingly taking it all in stride. “That won’t be necessary, my friend,” he says, giving Erik an amused look, the corner of his lips—so distractingly red—rising in a half smile, and Erik finds it hard not to stare at them.

Instead, he narrows his eyes. “We’ll see.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Charles snorts and glances down at the book, his fingers finding their way back to his mouth.

The tip of his thumb begins to slowly trace the outline of his lower lip, back and forth, drawing all of Erik’s attention to that one delicate motion. He cannot help but be hypnotised, wishing against his better judgement that he could reach out and replace Charles’s fingers with his own. To map those lips with his touch, to explore the softness against his fingertips…

Erik looks up abruptly, his eyes boring in the ceiling. Breathing out, he almost groans, but refrains from doing so not to distract Charles. It’s really of no use, allowing himself for such mental escapades. This absurd infatuation has already made Erik’s life miserable enough, there is really no need to add fuel to the flames.

Except, he finds himself unable to stop. Everytime he sees Charles, hears his warm laughter, feels his fingers brushing against his own arm, is confronted with a clever and spot-on counterargument during their arguments, or witnesses a particularly cunning move during the game of chess, Erik can’t stop his mind from being consumed yet again by the thoughts of his best friend. It’s truly a miracle that Charles hasn’t picked up on those thoughts yet, and for once Erik is grateful for Charles’s strict moral code.

Nonetheless, Erik knows he has to put an end to it. It’s just a silly crush, after all, nothing worth putting their friendship on the line. No more foolishness from now on—he’ll just focus on getting through his studies, pushing all the other matters aside.

After some time, which seems to have stretched from mere minutes to long hours, Erik abruptly hears Charles close the book. He drops his gaze in time to see his friend put it down and then proceed to gather all the rest of the study materials into a pile.

“Okay, I’ve finished, happy?,” Charles says, pushing the pile closer to his bed. “You can tuck me in now.” He looks up and momentarily furrows his eyebrows. “Erik?”

Somehow, the earnest look of those beautifully blue eyes makes Erik’s resolve snap. So much for an end to all the silliness. Before he can stop his traitorous lips from moving, the question is already leaving his mouth, the one he’s been longing to ask for so long.

“Can I kiss you?”

There’s a moment of stunned silence, as Charles’s eyebrows slowly rise, disappearing underneath his dishevelled hair. He’s still for what feels like an eternity, and Erik can feel the tendrils of the telepath’s thoughts retreating from his mind, folding in on themselves, which can’t possibly bode well.

Panic begins to rise in Erik’s chest. With his breath quickening, he does his best to slip on a mask of indifference over his face, hoping against hope that Charles hasn’t seen anything damning in his mind, especially not any of those lewd thoughts he’s been having lately. But before dread can consume his mind like a wildfire, Erik sees Charles’s expression soften and then the telepath is leaning in, stopping only when his face is a few mere inches from Erik’s.

He’s so close that Erik nearly goes cross-eyed, Charles’s breath ghosting over his lips. Erik remains frozen, waiting for his friend’s response, anticipating and dreading it in equal measure. He sees that Charles’s eyes are flickering all over his face, filled with… Is it excitement, or rather nervousness? Regardless, his look is clearly inviting, so Erik lets himself hope that maybe his friend does want the same thing.

“Yes.”

For a second, Erik isn’t sure if he has heard it correctly. It was barely a whisper, and Charles agreeing to such a ridiculous request sounds too good to be true. It soon becomes clear, however, that Erik’s ears were not playing tricks on him when Charles gives him one last smile and leans in farther to close the distance between them.

Erik’s eyes close on their own accord, and it takes a heartbeat for their lips to meet. It doesn’t feel like a particularly world-changing moment—or maybe it does, just not in the way Erik expected. It’s not like a lighting strike, turning his world upside down and igniting a raging fire inside of him, but it rather feels as if long-lost puzzle pieces finally fell in their proper places.

Kissing Charles feels like coming home.

His lips are just so soft, pliable against Erik’s, the warmth of their gentle touch spreading through Erik’s whole body like little electric shocks. The kiss is rather chaste, close-mouthed; even so, Erik can feel the air between them slowly changing and starting to crackle with the kind of tension that has barely reached the surface before. The wave of excitement mixed with lust that swiftly encompasses his mind proves that he’s not the only one who notices it.

Erik senses something else, however, something much deeper and warmer, as his hands find their way to Charles’s face. He runs his fingertips over the expanse of smooth skin, gently stroking Charles’s cheeks, and he can feel the warmth rising there. He can’t help but smile against his friend’s lips, feeling an affectionate nudge in his mind in return.

And then Erik hears it, a soft murmur permeating his thoughts.

I thought you’d never ask.

If anyone's interested, here's the mug Erik was reffering to (I found it funny, don't at me ^^').

And I'm considering perhaps writing more in that 'verse, so if any of you has any ideas, prompts, or requests, I'll be more than happy to oblige ;)

(Generally, I have more in store for Cherik, especially after Dark Phoenix (we'll always have Paris, after all), but those works are also getting longer than expected. Still, I'm cautiously optimistic about finishing them in August.)

[parkerpup]

Hero 29 Rant & Theory

Alright so with Blizzcon coming up I wanted to get my two cents out there about who I think the next hero is, largely because I don't believe many people are considering any other candidates other than the Junkertown Queen. Who exactly am I talking about? This guy.

So in the early days of Overwatch I saw this guy pop up in the cinematic trailer among various other heroes. I always remembered him because I liked his design in that he seemed cyborg-esque like Genji but a bit messier. While he never became a hero I always kept him in the back of my mind hoping he would become a hero one day to little avail.

At least UNTIL recently, more specifically Overwatch Retribution.

That's right! I think this guy is supposed to be Antonio. I think Antonio is the next hero. But before I can explain why, first we gotta address the obvious. Could that cyborg really be Antonio? Well lets look at what we know.

We know that for a while Antonio was a member of Talon who specialized in smuggling weapons, on top of being responsible for the bombings at several Overwatch bases. To do this he sent people with robotic appendages that could store bombs yet still appear human/normal. Which by the way is an INCREDIBLY similar concept to the man in the first image. So it would stand to reason that if Antonio was behind the bombings and this was one of his goons, he would have access to this kind of technology. We could argue that this woman's cybernetics could come from another source (Doomfist or Overwatch) but Doomfist was more about prosthetics that functioned normally and Overwatch was struggling to put Genji back together with all of their technology. 

So this feels unique to this girl and to an extent Antonio. So it wouldn't be too farfetched to say that Antonio would have abilities similar to this since his goon is capable of it. I mean if you're gonna make tech like that why wouldn't you use it as well? It's like how Symmetra can control light energy, therefore her boss Sanjay should be able to as well because he's her boss and they both work for Vishkar.

But then we actually look at Antonio and find some similarities to him and the cyborg guy. Both are big, stocky dudes, each with a large triangle nose and similar hair (although one being a bit messier). They may even have the same shoes (yes I've gone that deep don't judge me).

Besides the similarities we see here there's still a lot of things weird about the guy. He has copper wires on his head which could indicate some kind of cybernetic enhancement, and through some digging it looks like he may have a metal plate on the back of his neck? If these two were the same guy that could be where the tubes would connect to the back of the head but that's getting ahead of ourselves.

Also note the metal plating on the cyborg guy. He has a cybernetic eye as well as a metal jaw and metal plating on his chest. This is peculiar if you consider the fact that Antonio was shot point blank in the face with a shotgun. So these metal plates would coincide with the injuries Antonio would've had when shot.

Now at this point you may have noticed we're kinda dancing around the main issue, being that Antonio supposedly died in the Retribution event. While it's true we never actually see his body, this isn't exactly an uncommon scenario in the Overwatch universe. I mean let's be honest how many characters were supposed to be dead but came back? Solider 76, Reaper, Genji, Ana and literally anybody Mercy rezs in-game.

Jokes aside, we've seen this happen before. A character 'dies' only for them to come back with a new identity and new powers, revealing they faked their death and boom you have a new hero to play as. While it's true a shotgun to the face is pretty brutal on top a few stories fall, keep in mind Ana was sniped in the face and Genji survived with a quarter left of his body after fighting Hanzo (WHOS AN ARCHER LIKE HOWD THAT EVEN HAPPEN) and STILL survived. Basically, this wouldn't be the craziest story and it's been made pretty clear that death in the Overwatch world doesn't necessarily count out the character.

From another perspective, it would actually make sense gameplay-wise why Antonio would be added.

He has a unique, solid bodytype compared to the other characters, which game devs strive for so you don't get confused as to who is who in a fight. It's just part of good character design. Next we've yet to have anybody from Rialto join the game. Doing this would provide a character from a unique location that bonuses as a map which Blizzard is VERY much about. It's about their whole concept of making Overwatch feel inclusive. To add to that, we also haven't had a male character in quite some time (unless you count the hamster). Granted there's nothing really wrong with that! As a female myself I think it's amazing to have so many strong female characters in a game and I know that representation is very important to some people. I'm merely just stating a fact.

Also note that, judging by Antonio's build, he could be a new tank or damage character if he joined. Maybe some kind of hybrid in between like how Brigitte is a support/tank hybrid. This is a character type people have been wanting for a while and honestly it would just be nice to get another tank since we have so many damage characters.

Also take note that the cyborg guy mentioned before has some yellow tubes that connect to the back of his head. Now applying game logic could imply that if Antonio (assuming it's him) was in game he would have some kind of self-healing ability. This is because video games kinda color code things specifically so you know what's what and what you're doing. The color yellow in Overwatch always refers to healing where as purple refers to being anti'ed or being hurt more. This would be perfect for an aggressive tank character like Roadhog, or even damage characters like Bastion and Soldier 76.

To add the nail in the coffin, you also have to think about how Blizzard operates and how the characters are made.

Any character that's added to the game is completely different from the others. They all have their own unique themes, functions and looks. Blizzard tries to be very diverse with their characters as is needed for good character design and for good gameplay. Here's an example to illustrate what I'm talking about.

Both Dva and Hammond are mech characters. Yet despite falling in the same wheelhouse, both look and function completely different. They move, talk, and act differently and don't look the least bit similar. This goes for the omnic characters as well. If Blizzard adds an omnic character, they're not just gonna add an omnic that looks like Zenyatta but can actually stand. Instead they add a centaur robot with horns, a machine gun, mini gravitons and a shield aka Orisa. This is an important fact because this distinctly limits the options of potential heroes.

Sanjay's powers would likely be too similar to Symmetra even if he was a tank (same light energy theme).

Maximillion is very cool and does seem slightly possible but his differences aren't drastic enough from Zenyatta to be considered a sure in for a hero.

And as much as I would love to see another member from the mecha squad be added into the game I think they'd just be too similar to Dva. Yes their mechs would likely have different abilities but that's not quite enough. They need to be completely and entirely different, like Hammond different. Otherwise they'd just be considered "Dva, but they can do this instead of this." (which is a shame they seem really cool).

This distinctly drops the candidates to what are in my opinion three different characters: Antonio, the Junkertown Queen, or some other character we've completely forgotten about (a Moira situation basically).

To tell you the truth, I really do think the queen could be a playable character at some point. She's highly requested and passes all the other checkpoints despite being another character from Junkertown. But let me ask you this: what would shock people more at Blizzcon? The queen or somebody else?

Think back to the reveals of Moira and Brigitte, one being a highly requested character and the other completely unheard of. Now lore-wise Brigitte didn't really offer much. We kinda already new her story through comics and other characters, so the main satisfaction was in her being added in general. Now consider Moira, who COMPLETELY blindsided us, revealed new lore about how Gabriel became Reaper, gave more insight into Blackwatch and drove the fandom wild.

Now imagine if those spots had been switched, if Brigitte was revealed before Moira. Almost seems predictable doesn't it? A hero everybody had been asking for, while only offering a little bit of lore if any. Doesn't seem as exciting does it?

That's why I don't think the Junkertown Queen is hero 29. It's too predictable and it wouldn't offer a whole lot to the lore. While someone like Antonio, who has basically been forgotten on the account of him being 'dead' would SHOCK everyone, and could possibly add more lore to Talon or some new evil organization he could've been working on inbewteen Retribution and now. Even if it's not Antonio, whoever is the next hero is going to be a blindsider like Moira.

At the end of the day, it just comes down to facts. The fact that this concept of human-esque cybernetics has been around since THE VERY BEGINNING, and that said concept character looks like a guy ASSOCIATED WITH SAID TECHNOLOGY, just blows my mind and I'm just putting this out there so that people can see it too. If it's wrong that's fine, I just feel like people are missing this and I wanted people to consider this too.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk :)

[silkandconvalescencerpg]

The day has finally come in which all of the prompts are completed! To make things easier for you all, I’ve placed each of the skeletons’ prompts below, so that you’d save yourself the energy having to seek each individual one out. These have been a long-while in the making, so I truly hope they help, even the smallest bit, in your application process. I bid you all good luck!

RUFESCENT.

 001.  Honestly, while writing Rufescent I was just giggly the entire time (hopefully nottoo obvious to you guys), so I’d love to read a para sample that is completely filled to the brim with quirks and jokes, if only for the laugh. It would be a nice nod to the circumstances of their birth into the group, and a firm representation of one of their main facets. Moreover, it doesn’t have to be entirely silly, and it’d be lovely to read a scene in which they manage to incorporate their blazing wit and comicality into a situation in which it might be uncalled for or inappropriate, which makes it all the better. Surprise me, shock me, make me bite my lip hard enough because I have to hold back vicious laughter ⏤ that’s how the rufescent rolls.

 002.  Another detail that I implanted in their skeleton is the “you know, when they ask for silence in a library, they don’t exactly mean your kind of locked lips” line, and I absolutely adore it. The subsequent para doesn’t necessarily have to fall into this scenario, but this blunt, rebellious cheekiness is one of my favorite aspects of the rufescent, and I’d be a fan to witness a situation where this quality of theirs is magnified and shining brighter than a lumos. They’re just someone that you can’t help but snort at, really.

003.  Something that I feel would be overlook in the rufescent is their absolute, uncannily sharp wit. They are charming, they are hilarious, they are outspoken, they are a flirt to a fault, but they are also perceptive and clever beyond belief, which is how they get by. Write something that zeroes in on this, and how they use this to their benefit, or on the opposite spectrum, how perhaps it’s a “loss of potential”. In the same vein, maybe write about the cowardice they may be rooted in, the “carefully crafted bush” of theirs and how they “just wouldn’t fly away” from their current setting. Write about why! Write about pressure, and shedding personas, and just everything. I’d love to see your take.

NEMESIS.

001.  As stated explicitly and dramatically several times within their skeleton, nemesis is what I would call a double-edged dagger, a dichotomy if there ever was one. It may prove difficult narrowing this down into tangible words, or elucidating this into a specific scene where it can be properly captured, but I urge you to try. They are the extremities you wish you hadn’t touched, miraculously burnt and frozen over from simple contact, be it flesh, words, a look. Then again, fire is always mesmerizing before you get burned and ice is stunning before it pierces your heart ⏤ a vicious, beautiful cycle, one a healing charm can’t magically cure. They are fatally complex, and it’s a noble cause to attempt to corral them into mere words ⏤ an honorable challenge!

002.  I’m personally quite attached to the “cursing one parent while clinging onto the other” line, so I definitely wouldn’t object to seeing this sentiment portrayed in some form or another. Which parent did you pick; how do the dynamics differ; how do you suppose the parents react? All questions that can be carefully weaved and crafted into a passage of a scene, and my curiosity is certainly peaked.

003.  The biggest question you can ask when faced with nemesis is why ⏤ why are they the way they are? How do they cope without turning to ashes inside out? I want intimacy, an inside look into the labyrinth that they sheathe. Who are they? A clear answer, a stark analysis. I need to be shown an understanding and development of what exactly they have become and will continue to be. The five W’s and H would be a fun tactic with nemesis, if I’m being honest, because I want to see that transparency that proves you know them inside and out, even the mangled, molten parts that nobody else can define. “What’s it all for anyway?” You tell me.

THRASONICAL.

001.  One of my favorite little snippets about the thrasonical was making them a history-loving fool! I’d love to see how this obsession began, how it coiled into the very core of who they are. Perhaps a scene where we see them in the middle of a particularly vigorous session where they just went deep, completely encompassed within their own world of the past and its greats ⏤ the thought process, certain mannerisms, anything and everything that just embeds you into the world with them. Moreover, reveal some of their favorite pieces and periods of history! Strictly magical (here, you can really have fun and make up some lore on your own) or do they have a soft spot for muggle history as well, and how do the two mix, if so? How does the study and love of history complete them, and why?

002.  Now, I wouldn’t be hyperbolizing if I said they were fuck-all, one hundred percent, tits-up charming, so much so it’s nasty. In fact, you could accuse me of understating it. Capture this in action. The suaveness, the delicately tempered eyebrows that can throw the strongest wills into frustration, the quirk of lips that can shake foundations. Please ⏤ this is their arena, and I’d pay to watch, so make the show worth an audience.

003.  So, I kind of threw that line of “balling up fists and growling deep in your throat and calming the temper of a furious forest fire (sometimes it’s too late, sometimes you burn)” abruptly into the end, but that certainly doesn’t lessen it’s impact; perhaps it creates an emphasis, even, and I want to see that notion explored, abused, and taken advantage of. This is a bomb, and I want to see it detonated. Write an instance where they did allow the temper to catch fire and burn, and the consequences and clean-up of such a disaster. Or perhaps detail a moment when they could have, were so close to blowing up, but reined it in at the last second; capture the strength and will that it took, and how they blew off the steam in the aftermath. Go crazy together.

ACHILLES HEEL.

001.  One of the funnest qualities of the skeletons was coming up with the names for each and every one of them, and how exactly they would be molded to fit their titles. For achilles heel, there’s a lot of weight behind their name, for it’s perhaps the most well known out of all of the skeletons. I know why I picked it, but I want to know why youthink it’s well-suited. How do you tie it into your character? Do you prioritize the myth, the biology, or the general meaning behind it the most? Maybe show me a scene where the name just clicks so perfectly with who your character is. It’s a classic that has survived centuries, and I’d love to witness the clash between old and new ⏤ your interpretation against the very own Achilles.

002.  I instilled somewhat of a religious aspect within their skeleton ⏤ “analyzing scripture with your father in the italian countryside to fill up endless summer days, screaming at the top of your lungs blasphemy the next” ⏤ and it’s something I’d dearly love to see emboldened. I genuinely didn’t have any details in mind for this other than what I wrote, so I’d love to see any take on it whatsoever; it was a very impulsive inclusion, but one that I knew I couldn’t replace, simply because there’s so much that you can fabricate from that one line. Moreover, the Italian countryside is mentioned, and I’m curious to see how you would pave a subsequent path from there. This is where you can build up on the idea of their childhood (religion, family, residence), and there are so many roads to explore, it’s difficult to choose just one. The constant of achilles heel is their back-and-forth dance that is embedded into every facet of their existence, and it’s again apparent here. How did they go from point A to B? What is their relationship with religion and how does it affect them in their daily life? It’s a very boundless arena, but one that can only declare a single champion.

003.  To me, one of the most gut-wrenching pulls of the achilles heel is their complete ability for self-destruction, not to mention adeptness as self-deception. It’s like a demented game of whack-a-mole, and it’s fair to say there’s no winner. I want to see this underlined, magnified in the harsh and bright light that it deserves. This is the most imperative facet of who I introduced them as, and it’s something I’m beyond thrilled to see come to life. I want to see how they face this in their daily life; paint an instance where “playing peek-a-boo with feelings” radiates from a passage or dialogue, where it can be seen without being explicitly told. To pull achilles heel off, a tender and clever portrayal is needed, and I’m excited to see what you can pull out of the bag. Moreover, your interpretation on the unrequited torture aching within their bones is a particular desire of mine, and I want to see it exploited and dissected. Do with this what you will!

ACCISMUS.

001.  The driving force behind accismus is their undying and fervent passion. Beyond all else, they are like the unyielding embers in a stark winter; if you were to strike their bones together, a flame would appear. However, it’s almost as if this is lost on them. There is a certain desperation that trails their every breath, and every moment of their existence is spent trying to coax something deeper, something more, out of themselves. There are several lines within their skeleton that touch upon this, but “visiting the forbidden forest just to feel the thrum of explicit life around you, reminding you of your own blood pumping in your veins” works wonders to accentuate this point, and I want to see your own rendition of the meaning behind this. In order to wholly portray accismus, you must have a strong grip onto who they are, what their mindset is, the core understanding beneath it all. It’s complex to untangle and pinpoint, but I want to be shown that you know every single centimeter of the map of who they are.

002.  Truly, it wouldn’t be unfair to call them a mess. They really, really are. In their skeleton, it’s touched upon that they nearly gave up the honor of head student, and I want to tour the thought process behind this. There’s a subtle tragedy that lurks beneath the surface, and it needs to be exploited. Perhaps it’d be interesting to see the snapshot of when they found out they landed the position, and how they news shot through them. Who did they tell? Did they keep it to themselves for a while? Did they laugh, cry, go numb? It might be difficult to capture, but that’s exactly why I want to see it. I want them to be empathically, appallingly human ⏤ after all, so they do.

003.  For me, accismus is the rare introvert-extrovert type. It’s hinted at several times throughout the skeleton, such as “knowing the answer in class and waiting for the professor to call on you as a last salvation, drawling response and shy smirk at the ready.” They’re a beloved fixture within Hogwarts, despite not trying to call attention to themselves, especially in any boisterous or rowdy way. One of my main excitements relies on interactions, and so I’d love to see any dialogue between accismus and others. How do they react around others, what is their general temperament, if they were interrupted in a thrilling part of a book, how would they lash out, if at all? Really try to dig into their very essence.

GORDIAN KNOT.

001.  The inspiration behind gordian was clearly the old legend, and the very idea has been a tug at both my mind and heart for a while. The character concept was one of the first that I came up with, and this core of tangled ties, of a mangled and impenetrable mess, is the center of this skeleton that truly draws you in. Of course, it’s nice and complex on paper, but I am eager to see how you can enact this through dialogue and a realistic and meaty characterization, in which I can truly envision your muse coming to life. I want you to make this hidden and intricately tortuous character utterly transparent to me, to prove that you know them inside and out, knotted soul and all. They may be a complete riddle to everyone else, but you must be inside that sphere, right inside their head. I want to be excited to figure each facet of them out, bit by agonizing bit.

002.  One of my favorite injections within their skeleton was this idea of existentialism and their own curiosity with it. I was quite vague with the concept, for I wanted this to be the field where you can totally go off the tracks. What does this mean, specifically to your muse? How far and creatively wild can you go with this route? To me, gordian is a weird one, and I’m truly so excited to gather your interpretation of their mindset and how this idea became rooted in them. There’s a huge well of opportunity here, and I want to see how deep you’re willing to go.

003.  There are some gothic themes implanted within the group, and gordian is one of the tiers in that aspect. Within the line “chasing (my bad ⏤ walking, casually, slowly, always on the disinterested front) fulfillment in empty corridors tense with brimming old souls of centuries past ; what is it that deceiving emptiness can lend you that a breathing, talking human can’t? is it the breathing or the talking part ; or both?” there is plenty to uncover and explore with, and I want to this notion to somehow, in some (obscure or not) way, be addressed. I mean, just dissecting that part of the skeleton can lead you in so many directions, with a plethora of insanely delicious storylines to trek into. I want to see you blossom in this element, and really run with it. Give me something to sink my teeth into and groan in appreciation. Moreover, take into account their three words: stoic, precarious, nomadic. How do they fit your version of gordian? Do you disagree with them? Really show me your vision, in whatever capacity you deem best.

PROCRUSTEAN.

001.  The procrustean is quite the heavy character, and it’ll take a bit of skill to maneuver their characterization into something legible. The main notion attached to their skeleton, the very core of who they are, is this gilded cage that is shackled to their bones. The definition of procrustean reads “enforcing uniformity or conformity without regard to natural variation or individuality,” and it’s a perfect exposition of the center of the character. That latter part rings especially true, and truly emphasizes that not only are they weighed down by familial (or whichever direction you took) pressure in their future, but also their soul, their heart. They are clearly affected, but how? Strip every shackle off and reveal to me who they are underneath. Even more, show me who they could have been, had they not been born into a cage. Have they ever wondered this themselves? What is their mindset? Divulge these possibilities, these truths.

002.  A section of their skeleton focuses on that “if anything, you own the distinct talent of fabricating an escape in any pleasure or pain, tiny crevices or eyebrow-raising reaches alike, you can find, seeking out with a desperate vengeance that momentarily grants you a shortly saccharine fantasy, even if the tang of blood is more bitter than sweet ( can you even tell? )” line, and my, does it pack a punch. This introduces a whole realm of possibility, and I’m keen to see what kind of vices you have affixed to their character. It even hints at delusional fantasies and lapses of desperation that may be all too disastrous for them. How dark are you willing to go, and how do you interpret the direction of the last few words within the line? Include a scene or snippet of how cavernous this vein really runs.

003.  A regal mien is somewhat embedded into the flesh of their skeleton, and it doesn’t necessarily conclude that they’re born with a silver spoon in hand. They just naturally exude this palatial air that bears an imprint on anyone who crosses their path. I’m somewhat desperate to see procrustean in action, to be given a diagram of their mind, soul, and everything more. What are their interactions with others like; how do they react and how are they reacted to? The cloak of a coward conceals them, but how is this a player in the game of their life? How gracefully do they fit into their predestined box?

LOTUS EATER.

001.  The very concept of lotus is derived from the greek myths and legends in which, “as a result of eating the fruit of the lotus plant, a group of people were stuck living in a state of idleness and dreamy forgetfulness.” This is one of the more interestingly based skeletons, and there’s so much that you can do with this. I wanted to pack in everything I could into this concept, and I want to see all possible fronts exhausted. This notion of laziness beautified and an extravagant stupor is etched into the very fragrance that islotus eater, and I want to see this grand sloth reverberate a heartbeat. Perhaps even weave a tale that compares them to their namesake, how they would bear in such a mythological tragedy (or peace?). Hearten me to their lethargic existence.

002.  Moreover, an idea that can be warred within your application is the question of: how much of their soul is true, embedded laziness, and how much is clouded with the fear of change; of achieving the bare minimum so that perfection is the lowest bar to attain? Lotus is truly a tricky one, for their intentions are up in the air, floating in bliss among sunsets and daydream clouds. Take this line: “layering jewels upon jewels as they catch a shimmer and shine, layering shadows upon shadows of a girl, catching personas like light on diamonds” and wholeheartedly rip into it. You can take so much from those words, and I’m excited to witness your interpretations. As for scenes in which you can enwrap this into dialogue and interaction, perhaps a piece of synergy in which you highlight the conversation happening both inside and outside of their head. You do what feels most comfortable, as well as what can portray your enriched understanding of their character.

003.  There are several hints of a rather rough exterior inside the skeleton, such as “running idle circles barefoot in an orchard, playing hide and seek within the groove of trees and healing scrapes and bruises on knees with the soft caress of emerald grass and blooming flowers” and the only foul word (“shit”) found within any of the skeletons, battled against a delicate, mortal softness that begs to be damaged: “careful, don’t prick your delicate veins on a rose’s thorns ; your flesh is too brittle.” I want to see this played out brilliantly, in a bright, sunshine gold light that catches the eye. With lotus specifically, I think the childhood facet is an important one to explore, for a section of the skeleton directly refers to it, and how they evolved from there to here. Thrill me with tender and bittersweet nostalgia!

PRESCIENT.

001.  The prescient is a funky one, and I’m gearing for this to be played out spectacularly. Off the bat, you are drowned in this Alice in Wonderland swirl of an identity ⏤ except darker, funner, and snarkier. Truly, their skeleton holds some of my favorite lines, and one of them is this introduced notion of a holier-than-thou attitude regarding Divination, reminiscent of our favorite Brightest Witch of Her Age, while desperately gripping with both hands tight onto their own eyebrow-raising “prophecies”: “coughing bitterly on the dense fumes that cloud the divination classroom ( a roll of your eyes here, a barely disguised scoff there ), but clinging tightly onto the prophecies designed by your leftover tea leaves from that morning’s cuppa.” It’s honestly just so like them, and I want you to attain your own comfortability with the lunacy raging inside their head: not simply understand who they are, but sacrifice a piece of yourself to adopt their madness; Alice, meet your Mad Hatter.

002.  I don’t typically like to reveal certain fictional characters who have played a role in the initial, loose characterization of the skeletons, but in this case, I don’t see it deterring you from your own interpretation, but rather pinpointing some new perspectives to get your mind turning where it may have not been. That said, particularly in the Harry Potter universe itself, I drew some influence from Luna Lovegood, Lavender Brown, Hermione Granger, and even Tom Riddle. They each lent something to the building of the skeleton diagram, and from there, I expanded it and fluffed it with a lot of my own twists from how these “seer-esque” characters are usually done ⏤ it’s safe to say I had a little too much fun with prescient. They are truly different at every turn, and mangle expectations inside out: thus, I want you to shock me with your application; surprise even (and especially) me.

003.  One of the three words I included for prescient was meddlesome, and boy, oh boy, is that the truest thing I’ve written. This, mixed with their fatal curiosity, is a disaster brewing in the horizon. A large section of their skeleton reads: “everything and everyone has a rhyme or reason and oh, oh, oh, you’re too curious for your own good ⏤ what do you exist for if not for prodding and poking into a semblance of understanding / after all, one can be pushed down the rabbit hole or jump ; what difference does it make in the end if you’re the one to prod them off the ledge, as long as wonderland is reached at the crash of the fall?” and if anything, this is what you must pick up on in your interpretation. They can almost be suffocating in their ways, and that makes for some nasty interactions; or perhaps not? Detail their relationships across the sphere, or highlight a scene or dialogue in which their meddling ways are magnified for my viewing. Is the cat killed, or brought back?

FAVONIAN.

001.  The tug of favonian is this grand, old-fashioned fairytale hook, which cloaks you in its worn, mysteriously-shadowed aura (I generally get more descriptive the longer I write for periods at a time, my sorrowful, regretful bad). Their skeleton is actually one of my shorter ones, but I believe it to be more within less. This idea of a desperation to find oneself magically within the pages of a storybook leads to a more grandiose and perhaps even tragic analysis, for who must you be ⏤ what life must you live ⏤ to wish to exchange your reality for fiction (says I, the hypocrite)? Moreover, the line: “worn copies of beedle the bard graining your fingertips as age-old excitement pulls you to turn the page, again and again” hints that this pull has seized favonian since childhood, and what can you twist and weave with this piece of news? Is this fascination like the roots of a tree, growing sturdier and stronger with each passing day, until oh!: an evermore, majestic oak? In a world of magic, with goblins, and spells, and wheezes ‘til the eye can see, what more can you long for?

002.  I’ve been asked about this in the past, but allow me to reiterate and truly expand on my answer: a darkness clings in between the lines of favonian, and it’s hinted at through the “at least try and shave that hairy heart of yours, before they catch onto you” line. Like I said before, this is referring to the short story within The Tales of Beedle the Bard, and it’s perhaps the short story that reeks the most of the gothic theme, a thread that is most definitely deliberate. How you choose to incorporate or address this vein is up to you, but I suggest you get clever with it ⏤ if you’re having fun with it, I assure you that the same elation will radiate to me. Not all enchanted forests have a Tinker Bell, so run with it; after all, Hogwarts does have its very own forbidden forest to venture. A dark seed must always first be tainted.

003.  An extremely vital part to favonian is the “plucking your way through your garden, dismembering one flower at a time, chanting childish demands of ‘will they love me … love me not’ ( try : will i love me, will i not? pity, my dear : not )” line, which is why it was chosen as the crucial sentence to highlight within the masterlist. Here, darker themes are also underlined, for the innocent children’s act of plucking petals from a flowers is twisted into a literal, crippling action, maiming what was once sweet into something pungent. Even further, an insecurity is introduced in the parenthesis, sharp enough to prick your finger on. It’s truly key to at least talk about this in some capacity, so search for that dark, deep crevice within yourself and channel it.

PHAETON.

001.  The phaeton was a concept that was very original in the entire premise and creation of the roleplay, and I’m elated to see them finally flapping their wings out in the wild. Like essentially all of the skeletons, there is a soft dichotomy edged between the lines: arrogance versus inherent destruction. They are a very difficult concept to skillfully grasp, and can only be achieved with an exquisite and keen hand. They are wholly based upon the greek phaethon, and the myth instantly affords the skeleton depth where it may be hidden within the text: “inexperience proved fatal” is the theme that strikes severely, the chord that must be struck. However, legends may not be whole reality, and thus, I urge you to create a new picture rather than coloring within the lines.

002.  Following that same vein, arrogance is a key factor that is deeply implanted within the bones of the skeleton. Moreover, you can play on the “inexperience” and conceit by meshing them to attack the Head Student position that has been gifted to phaeton. “Arrogance is a certain type of breed, but are you a perfect design or a mangled mutation?”: where can this lead them? What part does this line play in their future / potential storyline? How will this fail them or uplift them? You can address these questions in whichever format you may wish to use, as long as the grip you have on their mind, heart, and soul is stable and obvious to my own eyes.

003.  A clever little input within the skeleton was “smirking dimples into fruition ; narrowing twinkling eyes into slits” and this truly warps what you thought the skeleton was into something else. This introduces a mischief to the concept, a fun gist and flowing wind that injects an acrid jest that you simply can’t help but inhale until you’re sneezing to the nines. Moreover, phaeton is perhaps the skeleton with the most singular lines, in which each new fraction amounts to a different meaning, and so much like the previous line, “heavy hearts weigh on the heaviest minds” is one that speaks thousands, and opens dozens of doors, without revealing much within the direct words themselves. Expand on these notions, and how they affect the vision of your own character; how they coil and root to encapsulate the core of your muse. Really wrap your fist around the center of their stem and tug.

[milquetoast-on-acid]

Season 2 Round up, A reactionary Post

The Season of Change

Now that I've finished reviewing all of season 2. Never thought I'd get done with it. It's time for a season round up. 

What this season roundup covers: Themes Character Arcs Taylor What kind of Chef do you want to be? The Squad Emma The Spoiled Lawyer The Failed Antagonist Rusty Pinocchio Rusty's Sexuality Sharon B & Rusty Amy Mike Julio Growing up Gangs Julio & Emma Provenza Wreastling with Age & Retirement Andy Wrestling with Age & Health What kind of parent do you want to be? Sharon The Mother vs The Captain Sharon & Jack Sharon & Andy

The Favorites

The similarities and differences between Sharon/Andy and Julio/Emma

A/N: This is a long one so put your feet up and grab your favorite drink. I just want to thank everyone that has read, enjoyed and commented on these episode reviews. I’m so glad that people are enjoying these. I love your encouraging comments and reading your insights into the episodes. I love and highly encourage discussion of this show. This is the end of my analyses of season 2. Look for my reviews on season 3 to be posted in a few days to a week. 

Theme: Identity

Other themes: I often think that MC plays with other themes throughout their seasons other than the theme picked. I really think that starting from season 2, delves more deeply into other themes than the season's intended theme. Other themes I've noticed...

Wrestling with Age Both Andy and Provenza wrestle with their age throughout the season. Provenza ponders retirement and Andy develops health issues that threaten his job. This one can relate to the identity theme. 

Love is in the air: Fantasy vs Reality I didn't realize how much of this season encompass this theme. Most of them are romantic forms of love but there's one that's familial form of love. And how much each of these forms of love deal with fantasy and reality.

Character Arcs

Taylor

Identity:

What kind of Chief do you want to be? (Sharon, The Squad + Taylor)

In the beginning of season 2, The team is still proving themselves to Taylor and he's still not actively supporting them. I do feel like there has been some slight progress since season 1. It rather felt as if every other episode in Season 1, Taylor was threatening Sharon's job. In the beginning of season 2, he's moved on to threatening to move Rusty out of Sharon's home. It's not until he fully realizes that Sharon loves the boy that he stops that bullshit. 

In Backfire, Taylor is frazzled by the case to the point where he explodes at Sharon. Thinking he's going to win some points by comparing her to Brenda and telling her she just doesn't measure up to her. By this point the team and Sharon have bonded. Sharon isn't Brenda and the team don't want her to be Brenda. Both women have great skills. Brenda is the better investigator but Sharon is the better leader. 

Taylor has always been the 'outsider/sometime antagonist' character on TC and he contiunes that role very well on MC. There's a very slow transition on both shows where he adapts to the squad while still holding his own agenda. I feel that by the end of season 2, the squad and Taylor are in a better place. It's been rocky. And he still thinks that alot of what they do and how they go about it are not the best of ways. But I feel that he's working better with them.

The Team

Identity:

The Squad changes depending on who's leading it.

I thought I'd add the team in as a character and talk about them in general. Because as a whole they are kind of a character. The team functions differently depending on who is leading it. We've gotten to the point where the team is now fully bonded and acclimated to Sharon and they way she does things. 

Brenda is an investigator first and everything else in her life is rather secondary. Including her family. I really feel that under Sharon's leadership the squad feels much more life a family. We get Sharon and the squad calling each other by their first names on a regular basis. Which is a pretty significant change from the squad in TC - when every was addressed by ranks or last names.

Emma Identity: The Spoiled Lawyer In the beginning, Emma is played as the spoiled lawyer. The girl who is used to getting what she wants. She's selfish and doesn't see people and their emotions. Her squeamish nature is played as a gag and she's pushed into every crime scene to irritate her and us. Emma (and the writers) finally get the clue that the gag isn't working anymore and stop having her show up at crime scenes half way through the season. Once Emma transitions into a much less annoying person. 

The Failed Antagonist I think it was a good thing having them add a woman to the cast. Unfortunately the way her character is written doesn't quite work. Having an antagonist as a main character who's in the majority of the season in this show doesn't quite work. She's supposed to be the Sharon Raydor to Brenda Leigh. But it's not the same...at all. I get what they were trying to do. With Sharon & Brenda. 

They wrote a character for Brenda who was practically her opposite, they had fantastic chemistry and a rather complex relationship that formed before Sharon was a regular. Emma often seems as an opposite to Sharon especially with her selfish nature. But Emma often seems out of depth when it comes to cases and even arguing with Sharon. Which doesn't make her a very good foil. A good foil is on equal ground with the hero. One who also brings up valid points to their arguments. 

The other problem with her character is that she has no redeemable qualities. Perhaps with time she would have gotten better but she wasn't on long enough. And quite frankly sad to say it but Emma is rather a forgetable character. She was on the show for an entire season + special master + (whatever episode she'll be in, in season 6) and I completely forgot she existed until I started my season 2 rewatch. On the plus side I do like her more at the end of my rewatch because of how gentle she turned out to be towards Rusty during the trial. But still, largely forgettable. And that's not something you want for a character. A main character.

Rusty

Identity: Pinocchio / Rusty's Sexuality Pinocchio

Kind of feel like Rusty is a bit like Pinocchio. The little wooden figure who wished he was a real boy. All Rusty wants is to be a normal teenager, he wants hang out with his friends and play chess. Go to school and do normal things any normal teenager is able to do. Especially since he's lived an entire life of moving around, with rampet abuse and a mother who was high all of the time. He's finally found stability and someone he can count on. Someone who he loves and someone who loves him back. Someone who always has his best interests in mind. That life he build with Sharon is threatened when Weller starts stalking him. His reaction to hiding the letters feels very real.

Love is in the Air: Rusty & Kris / Rusty's Sexuality Now that Rusty is has settled into life with Sharon. He's starting to develop interests, gathering friends, and thinking about his future. The question of his sexuality is something that's starting to crop up. It's not something that's answered in season 2 but it is something that comes up in several episodes this season. Rusty's gone through so much trauma and he's just starting to accept therapy as a way to heal. So the question of his sexuality isn't something he's quite ready to deal with. But it's a question that has to be answered eventually and will be a bigger theme in season 3.

It's something that's very heavily present in his relationship with Kris. It's more than obvious that she's got a thing for him and thinks of him as her boyfriend. Rusty really just wanted to be friends and then follows some horrible advice from a terrible father. 

Love is in the Air: Sharon B. & Rusty Another love fantasy vs reality love plot line that was played quite heavily throughout the season is the one between Sharon Raydor & Rusty and also Sharon Beck & Rusty. 

“If your mom came back today would you get in a car and drive off with her? Or would you stay where you are with Sharon?” There's a lot of Fantasy vs Reality theme running throughout Rusty and Sharon B's relationship. Throughout the majority of season 1 and 2 Rusty thinks back on his relationship with his mother in rose colored glasses. He'd hoped she come after him, even with money, she still doesn't. But once Rusty starts therapy in mid season 2, Dr Joe pushes Rusty to confront what life was really like with Sharon B. And now he's gotten to the point where he's not sure what he'd do if Sharon B came back.

Amy

Identity: Full fledged member of the squad

Season 1 Amy was the newbie. She was 1 part green eager beaver, 1 part smart manipulative woman who knows how to play people. I'm rather glad that she smoothed out her rough edges an integrated into the team rather quickly before the end of season 1. But her manipulation showed how smart she is. And knowing Sharon the way that we do she saw something in Amy, that Provenza couldn't see until much later. 

Season 2 we have Amy who is a full fledged member of the team. It feels now that she's been a member for years instead of just a year. Sadly her character doesn't really get much play this season. She probably gets her biggest bit at the end of the season when she whips Rusty into SIS shape. Amy may be young but unlike Rusty she's got experience and she knows what she's doing.

Mike

Identity: Doctor Mike / Glamorous Consultant for Badge of Justice

We get are first dose of Mike + Badge of Justice in "Under the Influence". But it doesn't start to become annoying until season 3 and then it becomes an endless joke that the show has beaten to death. EVERY SINGLE YEAR. I really feel that Mike is the most underdeveloped/unused character on the show. As I can't really think of anything they did with his character beyond the Badge writer following him and Julio that really stood out for him. We get him blowing up a bomb in the later part of the season but that's even not a plot line.

Julio

Identity: Growing up gangs

Certainly makes sense that Julio would be the squad's gang expert because he grew up around gangs. There really isn't much play about his past we just get spinets of it. Julio's storyline for this season was really the Julio/Emma plot. 

Love is in the Air: Julio/Emma We've got puppy Julio who's so bestotted with Emma he overlooks everything she says an does. She doesn't even know the guy exists. It's not until she talks gangs that he wakes up and the love spell he's under is broken. After that he's the regular Julio we know and love. I wonder if Emma stayed around if the two of them would have mended their fences and became a couple.

Provenza

Identity: Wrestling with Age & the Idea of Retirement

The idea of Provenza and retirement isn't something new. It's something that was brought up in the middle of TC. Provenza flat out said to Pope that he was never going to retire and would die with a stapler in his hand. But the thing is...as much as he may say that it still very much on his mind. Truth is Provenza would be bored if he retired and Andy says as much when Provenza laments to Andy about giving up the badge. 

Provenza's retirement woes peaked in "There's No Place Like Home". Proving that if your past a certain age you still can make an impact. Provenza's knowledge and the fact that he's the best marksmen on the team prove this. And I loved that the episode (even if it wasn't my favorite) was a giant fuck you to ageism and the role it plays in our society.

Andy

Identity: Wrestling with Age & his Health

Andy's plotline this season revolved around his health. And an entire episode of Andy pushing Provenza not to tell anyone of his high blood pressure because he doesn't want to go on desk duty. Being out of the field is something that's weighing very heavily on his mind the way it is Provenza. Although in a slightly different way. And like Provenza, Andy wouldn't know who he was without the job. 

I also give kudos to Andy for trying something more than blood pressure medication. He really tried a lifestyle change, with his diet, meditation and more exercise. We live in a society that likes to throw pills at every problem we have. And even though it didn't work - I'm glad that he was very persistent about it and tried different things. I also felt that his reluctance to take the blood pressure medication had a lot to do with his addictive personality. Even if it's not an addictive medication.

Although unlike Provenza, Andy has more to lose without the job. And that takes me into Andy's next plotline...

What kind of Parent do I want to be? Another plotline of Andy's this season was his growing relationship with his family. Particularly Nicole. His family is on his mind quite often and we see that in the way he deals with the victims (and family members) of their cases. I love that even though he's stubborn AF, he's not above asking for help and trying new things. When it comes to his relationship with his family. This really comes to a head when he lets his family think that he and Sharon are dating. Only because that means they see him in a better light. It's not a very good idea to let them think that but I get the feeling that the guy is desperate. 

The way he talked about his family right before Nicole's wedding. And how there were people that didn't want him there. He's tried and done a lot of things. He's been sober and committed to it at this point for 17 years. And he's doing other things to help along his relationships. Such as hiring a therapist. And getting another perspective on his family life from a certain police captain.

Sharon

Identity: Rusty's Mother vs Sharon the Captain

Throughout the season Sharon sort of struggles with expressing her feelings on Rusty. A lot of it is her really being careful in how much she shows to Rusty because of how fragile he is. And there are points where she holds back from acknowledging what she wants to acknowledge that Rusty is her son and that's how she thinks of him. 

Sharon is always very preoccupied with Rusty's mental state. To the point where she wanted Dr Joe to forgo rules to find out how what's going on in his head. When it comes down to it she may love her rules but she loves people more. And this isn't the first time that she's tried pushing rules aside for someone's health. "Dead Man's Hand" anyone?

Sharon struggles with balenceing her role as a mother and her role as a police officer protecting a witness. There is a fine line in keeping Rusty and doing what's in his best interests. I understand her saying that if they send Rusty away to boarding school he'd run. And he more than likely would run but at the end of the day Sharon does realize that sending Rusty away was ultimately in his best interest.

Love is in the Air Sharon + Jack We've heard bits and pieces of Sharon's estranged husband and now we've finally met him. And it's absolutely fascinating. Not only do we have the great Tom Berenger but we also have some fantastic chemistry and a very complex relationship between Sharon and Jack. Add on to that, that Jack is nothing like Sharon. He has a very colorful personality. He loves being the life of the party, he's charismatic and people who don't know him very well gravitate to him very easily.  Jack is a very smart and cunning lawyer. He insanely good at details and is fantastic at poking holes in any case. 

It's not hard to think that these things are what Sharon found attractive about him. And I've always had this theory about opposites attract couples. That they are seeking out qualities in the others that they themselves lack. In wonderfully great relationships they can use those qualities of the other to balance out their own and bring color to their lives. However, sometimes the distance between the two personalities is far too great for them to mesh at all. You have to work at any relationship and in this case you have to work twice as hard. And if one partner is not pulling their end of the relationship then it's just not going to work.

Sharon + Andy

Love and Romance is a big theme for season 2 and this season is the start of a very slow burn between these two. We get some progression in their relationship this season. Some dopey looks and smiles from Andy to Sharon. It’s played a lot more subtle than Julio & Emma but it certainly ends up becoming true love. Which is very unlike the rest of the romances that blossom this season. 

We see Andy becoming more supportive towards Sharon. Finally meeting Jack we see that Sharon has been missing a supportive partner her whole life. Andy starts becoming this very much at work. There’s that glorious scene where Andy stands up for Sharon against Taylor. And later on when Andy gives some rather encouraging words to Sharon after the killer in Poster Boy commits suicide. Andy isn’t alone in being a new supportive partner. Sharon takes a very quiet route in watching over Andy’s emotional health. Conspiring with Provenza in the “Deep End” over Nicole’s wedding and later asking Provenza about his mental health in “All In”.

By the end of the scene the two of them would very much be called friends. Andy is very familiar with Sharon’s address. When he recognized an address in one of their cases being inside of her building. Sharon is noticeably becoming  more physical with Andy. And the two of them treat it as rather normal behavior. 

The Favorites...

Scenes full of Gold

Mike talks about Balls

I missed this the first hundred times I watched this episode. It's a rather clever joke that the show gets away with but these days it's not hard to get away with dick jokes anymore. I really love that it's a knock on them not being able to show a penis. Kind of pointless to show a dead body without seeing a penis or vagina. Gotta love the way that MPC delivers this line too. Dramatic in his rather typically understated way.

Provenza skipping Seriously! When have we ever seen this guy this happy? Possibly when he got married he was definitely giddy. 

Provenza and Taylor fight about Provenza's Printer Showing a really wonderful chemistry between Taylor and Provenza as they argue (like two brothers who don't like each other) 

Andy asks Sharon out The true start of the Sharon/Andy romance. Andy awkwardly asks Sharon out and before he really can Sharon ends up inviting herself. Their both awkward, adorable and flirty. Which becomes a huge part of their relationship before they start officially dating. It is not a coincidence that Shandy starts immediately after Jack leaves.  

Mateo's Dad shoots Frey One of the things that I love about this show is that it can be rather strategic about it's dramatic moments. MC is a quiet procedural drama that very rarely takes dramatic risks. So when a character is killed right before our very eyes, completely unexpectedly it stands out in a very big way. 

Mateo tells his story One of the most emotional moments of the series. Absolutely brilliant way for Mateo to tell his story without even saying a word that gets so emotional. It's so poetic and it affects the characters as well as the audience. 

Sharon gives Rusty unconditional love Hands down the best Sharon/Rusty scene of the series. After the drama of Wade Weller, Rusty starts the wheels turning in his head and comes to the conclusion that Sharon would be better off without him. Because of the chaos that it brings to her life and how much Rusty is like Wade. Mainly Rusty thinks that Sharon would be better without him because of his sexuality and his past as a prostitute. Sharon does the best thing possible, embraces him and tells him he's not Wade Weller, that she loves ALL of him and that he's coming home to her. Excellently acted by both actors this shows the magic of this relationship and how much both of them fought for their family.

Standout/Favorite Episodes

Boys will be boys DOA The Deep End

Best New Character

Jack Raydor

First of all the casting of Tom Berenger was rather amazing. I don't think I could see anyone else in this role. The casting for the squad's family members on this show is nothing short of amazing. They all have wonderful chemistry with their respective family member on the team. That very much includes  Berenger who has phenomenal chemistry with Mary Mcdonnell. They really feel like a couple that had been married for 30 years with a very tumultuous history. 

Sharon's relationship with her husband had been so mysterious up until meeting him in season 2. Sharon is not one to talk about herself and her problems so comments on Jack were very few and far in between. So what we did know was mostly things she had hinted towards while sympathizing with victims and family members of victims. 

Sharon's relationship with Jack is so complex and so fascinating. He's so completely different from Sharon. Such a vibrant and colorful character who throws off Sharon more than Brenda's parents throw off her. Also meeting Jack we get to know more about Sharon's own personality. While Sharon hates chaos, she oddly tends to be attracted to it. Or rather she tends to see things in people (people who have huge flaws or people that others give up on) when no one else does. 

I love Jack's relationship with Rusty. With the boy gravitating towards him because he was new, different and excisiting. But him not being a good influence in him and Sharon trying to steer Rusty away from him. I love seeing Jack pop up through the years bringing lots of drama and chaos along the way. I'd love to see him more on but on the other hand I really feel that seeing him roughly once a year is a really good balence for him. Seeing him too often we would loose some of the effect his character on our heros including Sharon. Hands down to me Jack Raydor is the best antagonist on this show. He's got a lot of terrible qualities and he's a character that emotionally hurts our main character. He's not a killer and he isn't someone they can readily get away from. He's going to pop up if he wants to. Plus that he's the father of two of Sharon's children.

The Similarities and differences between Sharon/Andy and Julio/Emma

It never really occurred to me the similarities between Sharon/Andy (in season 2) with Julio/Emma. In the beginning of season 2, when Emma appears Julio is immediately infatuated. He's a huge puppy dog around her and Emma just can't see it. And what's worse is that she doesn't even know his name until a few episodes into the season. But that doesn't seem to bother Julio.

Similarly as season 2 and then 3 goes on, Andy starts to become rather obvious about his feelings for Sharon. And for quite a while Sharon is unaware or in deep denial about it. Something else that just occurred to me is the similarietes that both Provenza and Mike play in the relationships. Both men think the relationships are bad ideas. Mike doesn't directly tell Julio his thoughts but he often is shown trying to grab Julio's attention away from Emma and back on the case. While Provenza will say exactly how he feels to Andy, that getting personally involved with their boss is a terrible idea. 

I think the difference is (from what we have seen of Julio and Emma's relationship) is that Emma never saw Julio. Once Julio realizes that the spell he was under breakes and the two of them never form a romantic relationship. While Sharon did not see Andy's feelings at first and later was in denial about her own feelings on the two of them - she did see him as a person. I think it's really when Sharon didn't have so much time to worry about Rusty and after she resolved her issues with her ex-husband that her she could devote real time to seeing Andy as a romantic partner. 

The other difference between the couples is that while Julio was always helpful and supportive to Emma, she never returned that. Andy has always been a supportive figure in MC for Sharon and it deepens as the series goes on but Sharon is always a supportive figure in his life. My point being is that the difference is it's not one sided. Sharon conspires with Provenza (even though they are not shown having a conversation, it's very much implied) to go with Andy to Nicole's wedding so he would have moral support there.

What improved from Season 1:

The show is delving deeper into the characters as many of them had personal storylines through out the season than just Rusty. We got Provenza and Andy growing older storyline with Andy's health issues being the forefront on that. Lots of Romance blossoming this season, Amy/Jason, a touch of Amy/Cooper, Julio/Emma, Rusty/Kris, Sharon/Jack, Sharon/Andy and all with varing degrees of success. 

This season seemed to do a lot of experimenting in pushing the evenvelop on episode format while staying with the very strict A+B=C procedural structure that the show is known for. We had that episode (Backfire) that did an investigation backwards. Curveball, which started out as your typical light Flynn/Provenza episode but was full of emotional family moments and had a rather dark case at it's core. A two parter season finale with bigger emotional stakes than season 1's finale. And that finale worked in some ways and fell short in others.

What I didn't like: The new character was a bit of a failed antagonist. But you try things and sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. In this case Emma didn't really work. We already had our sometime antagonist in Taylor and he wasn't on the show (almost every episode).

What I did like: Finally meeting Jack Raydor after hearing bits and pieces about him. He makes a rather dramatic entrance which is so typical of his character. I think entrances are so vital to characters, it can tell you so much about them without them saying a damn word. I liked the expansion of the plot lines and how that continues through the seasons. Overall Season 2 is a better season than season 1. It's not the best season but it's better than season 1. The squads problems with Sharon are resolved and they are starting to feel more like a family at this point.

[thechurchillreview]

Each time I get into discussions about superhero films with others (friends, strangers, family) it always eventually leads to Nolan’s Batman movies. However, my opinion and feelings towards The Dark Knight don’t align with theirs. Resulting in arguments/debates. Mainly due to one scene in The Dark Knight I am going to dissect.

CONTAINS SPOILERS for Batman Begins (2005), The Dark Knight (2008), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Batman (1989), and Twin Peaks (1990-1991). 

But first, I have to explain about “bathos”. Bathos is a term coined by 18th century poet Alexander Pope in his 1727 short essay Peri Bathous, Or the Art of Sinking in Poetry. In it, he writes about the abuse figures of speech and tropes are enduring thanks to bad writers. This creates bathos, the taking of something serious into something trivial or an anticlimax of sorts. Said juxtaposition causes unintentional humor thus “sinking” serious poetry. Unintentional bathos is known as “narm.” Or in The Dark Knight’s case, written by Christopher Nolan and David S. Goyer, a serious realization blatantly defused with a joke.

But, let’s look at another quick example. In the David Lynch TV series Twin Peaks that combined straight-up farce, elements from soap operas, and non-sequitur humor into its very DNA, the funeral ceremony of the murdered Laura Palmer has some bathos. The scene opens with a somber and personal eulogy from the town reverend that gets interrupted by Johnny Horne’s yelled “Amen!”. A donnybrook then commences between two of Laura’s boyfriends. Immediately after this, Laura’s sobbing father dramatically leaps atop her coffin that continuously proceeds to go up and down (due to the mechanized lift apparently going haywire) inside the dug grave: the sound effects accompanying this sequence make it unintentionally funny.

In a similar vein, this often quoted line from The Dark Knight undermines the seriousness of what’s happening. Most people will recognize it I’m certain. And here we go.

Now this line comes after capturing Scarecrow and his thugs. During it, Batman stops gun-wielding inspired to do justice copycat Batmen: a clear nod to the Sons of Batman from Frank Miller’s comic The Dark Knight Returns. Interestingly, Nolan’s and Goyer’s Batman is fine with using an overly explosive Intimidate Mode on his tank-like property damaging causing Batmobile. My issue with these scenes in The Dark Knight is that Batman doesn’t condemn their actions. Nor does he label their actions as wrong or unnecessary. Then what does Batman do? He simply warns them not to perform vigilante acts in the future whilst also telling him he “doesn’t need help”. Then of course, copycat Batman Brian Wilson famously asks the Caped Crusader, “What’s the difference between you and me? What gives you the right?” Batman’s replies to Wilson’s weighty query with a bloody joke.

“I’m not wearing hockey pads.”

Basically, Batman said, “It is ‘kay that potentially you used your guns to stop other criminals or whatever. Just don’t do it again. I mean it.”

That was the misplaced bathos moment that angered and stayed me stronger than anything else the rest of the time I sat viewing The Dark Knight in theatres. It is meant to ignite a smirk or be perceived as droll…And I did, through clenched teeth and fists. If I truly meant to be a force for good, I wouldn’t want these dangerous people tarnishing my name or image at all. He could’ve said something, anything more. Borrow from The Dark Knight Returns by having Batman breaking their gun while proclaiming, “This is the weapon of the enemy. We do not need it. We will not use it.” He does bend one of the guns a copycat Batman has. Having such a speech would acknowledge the flawed approach of the copycats and maybe influence them to possibly drop the gun motif in the future. When we’re inspired by someone, we tend to listen and learn you know?

Alas he doesn’t. What?! This awful juxtaposition becomes even more obvious when one listens to what Bruce speaks in the following Know Your Limits Master Wayne scene to Alfred Pennyworth regarding the copycat gun-toting Batmen,

Bruce: “There were more copycats last night Alfred, with guns.

Alfred: Why not hire them and take the weekend off?

Bruce: That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind…When I said I wanted to inspire people.

Alfred: I know.”

See, at the point his stance concerning the copycats with guns is absolutely confirmed. Ironically in The Dark Knight Rises, Bane would be killed by fired weaponry courtesy of Catwoman utilizing Batman’s motorcycle vehicle. Yet, when it matters most, Batman essentially told the copycats nothing of significance. He didn’t impart a valuable lesson. Zilch! Isn’t he supposed to be a hero? A symbol actually worth embodying? Batman’s silence (besides that joke) doesn’t remotely suggest this.

In a way, this coincides with Batman’s “I won’t kill you, but I don’t have to save you” attitude seen towards Ra’s al Ghul in Batman Begins. His verbal declaration and subsequent refusal ends up killing Ra’s when the train crashes and explodes through a scheme Bats himself orchestrated. That’s manslaughter, by the way. Perhaps a small piece of Batman is cool with bad guys dying? Not that he’d admit this, obviously. Although, earlier in Begins, he sets an entire building ablaze with League of Shadows members insides, presumably being responsible for their deaths. That poser Ra’s Ken Watanabe portrays probably died, for sure. On top of that, bombs are implemented to stop cop cars chasing him as well (Jinkies!). 

Not that Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman was better in this regard either (Batman blows up an entire factory with Joker’s men inside, purposely dragged Joker to his plummeting doom).

His lone method for halting Two-Face was tackling him? No Batarang? Are y’all aware that The Dark Knight is the first live-action motion picture without a Batarang used by Batman? Tackling was the best option? 

I sincerely doubt it.

More like the most dramatic that fits into the movie’s title, er, kind of.

David S. Goyer and Christopher Nolan were a bit too clever for their own good. “I’m whatever the writers need me to be.” Batman taking the fall for the demise of Harvey Dent makes little sense. Joker, who’s been killing people the entire movie, couldn’t be blamed? That slaying the District Attorney, Gotham’s white knight, was Joker’s master plan all along? 

In other words, vilifying Batman in the story to match the name of the film is and has always been complete nonsense. This vilification along with the loss of plot device and not a fully formed character Rachel Dawes makes Batman hang up his cape and cowl for eight damn years, according to Rises. *GROANS* Why not, um, say that Jim Gordon, a celebrated hero cop, protected his in danger family? That would of worked. Maybe the, oh, I don’t know, truth? A disfigured man that had his good side messed up driven to intense insanity by another madman? Joker did indeed have a hand in Harvey’s descent into madness. That is indisputable! Established by the story dirty cops working for Joker took Harvey’s life? The killer got away and Batman is pursuing him/her? All of those are significantly more plausible than telling Gotham that Batman killed Harvey Dent, in my opinion.   

[ciathyzareposts]

Rex Nebular – Won!

Written by TBD.

Rex Nebular’s Log: Stardate – Ides of March, 44 BC: I was just sitting down in the Senate before work when all the senators came in. After my good friend Brutus hugged me I felt a sharp pain in my bac… … Sorry, wrong log… … I won. I’ve completed my mission and escaped the evil women with help from an inexplicably homeless person. Let me tell you how I did it…

Well, I left off last time having gotten a bad ending and being stuck and asking for help. I received help from gboukensha, Charles and Leo Velles. Thank you all.

I looked at gboukensha’s hints first.

1. You need to distract the dog

Well, I already knew that and if I wasn’t somewhat impatient I would have tried a few more things before looking at the second clue. But that clue could easily mean I needed an item I didn’t yet have and I was already impatient, so…

2. You should use the bones to do that

Okay. I had the bones and I’d tried throwing the bones to the dog one at a time and he just ate them up until I ran out.

So I go back to the auto shop and start throwing bones around willy-nilly. After a few aborted attempts to throw (There’s really no need to throw the bones at the manhole…) the action line changes from Throw bones at item to…

Aha. When I point at the fence AT gets replaced with OVER

I throw the bones over the fence and the dog jumps over the fence, which leads to a sheer drop to the level below.

Pleased that I can now explore a new area, I enter the garage through the side door. When I arrive, something jumps through the broken window.

Note: really fast dogs look kind of like brown trains.

As for how the dog got back here from jumping off a cliff, I’m going with the same cartoon logic that allows Wile E Coyote to live through the first minute of every cartoon he’s in.

Avoiding walking to the area the dog’s barking in, I look around, and apart from other things in the area, I can press a down button or up button to raise or lower the car. The area below the car is named…

You can be my wingman any time, Maverick!

Hmmm. Would this be the kind of game that makes me murder a dog? Let’s find out.

Rex is pleased that he did this. Rex is a bastard.

I tried this puzzle again after switching to NICE mode, thinking the dog might just run away instead of get crushed or the whole section might be covered with a CENSORED sign but no, he gets crushed just as bloodily and we see it all – weird.

Now that I can explore the area fully without danger, I do so and take some POLYCEMENT and a REARVIEW MIRROR.

I know immediately what to use those items on, so I start with the REARVIEW MIRROR and go back to Bruce’s house in the Residential area.

Aha. So my idea of reflecting the beam to blast open the safe was correct!

With a hole in the safe, I open it and take the key to the video store that I got last time when I tried MEDIUM difficulty. I found it interesting that the safe combination wasn’t available at all in HARD, and presumably using the first mirror on the laser beam in MEDIUM serves no purpose at all.

Using my newfound key on the video store door and looking around shows me a bit of a difference of opinion between Rex and the narrator.

Well, yes, Rex. There are. Let’s take some.

Gee narrator. No need to get snippy.

Looking at the items in the video store gives me lots of jokes, but the only item I seem able to interact with is a cordless phone. I can take it, and remove the batteries. I can also put the batteries I took from the penlight into the phone and put it on the charging station which lights up red. Thinking that perhaps the reason the penlight didn’t do anything whenever I’d used it previously was because the batteries were dead, I leave the batteries to charge and leave the store.

Now, I became stuck again here. I had my polycement, rearview mirror and phone batteries, but still didn’t have any idea what I should do next.

Do you think I went back to the clues the helpful readers had left me after a small amount of time of trying other things? You bet I did…

Charles had said…

Now, if I’m not mistaken, you have missed something else. Just in case the dog puzzle isn’t enough to get you unstuck:

Well, the dog puzzle wasn’t enough to get me unstuck and Leo Velles had also confirmed that Charles’ hints could help, so let’s look at Charles’ first hint.

You may want to check the 9 locations again, but not for items

This clue made me think I’d missed a location somewhere. Most likely a door or exit I didn’t realise I could use. I went back to the 9 locations and found it… after doing an entire lap of the area and ending up exactly where I started – back ouside the video store…

See that “GO” sign. That’s an alley.

I can see why I missed this alley because it looks like the road just curls around to the left here instead of also having something branch off to the right. In my defense I’ll add that each screen in Machopolis has similar GO cursors that just tell me I can’t use them once I watch Rex attempt to walk there. This very screen has two of those GO cursors at the obvious roads to the south and west. Here’s a compilation of useless GO cursors.

Yes, I made this GIF purely as an attempt to validate my ability to miss the alley!

Anyway, I enter this well hidden alley, and find a hermit. His name is Herman.

For some reason I had to fight an overwhelming urge to cry over him.

Herman tells me that the vase I’m after is likely housed in the tallest building in the city, which was owned by the governor who was also the local art collector. He also tells me about the war, and that he was a teenager when it ended.

Now, after talking to Herman I note that he seems to live in a cardboard box in this alley, but he also has access to a nearby teleporter and has explored the city as thoroughly as he can without my particular set of skills and items. Why doesn’t he live in someone’s abandoned home? Bruce’s house is close enough that he could get there on foot. There’s probably somewhere even closer if he needs it. Anyway, ignoring his residential choices, I keep asking him questions.

Most usefully, Herman mentions that he’s upset that he can’t listen to his squalkman (walkman (iPod  to younger readers) ) any more because he’s out of batteries. Well, I happen to have some freshly charged phone batteries with me now.

Of course, his squalkman needs four batteries and I only have two, so I have to go back to the video store and get my batteries back from the phone charger.

I give him all four batteries and he gives me the Fake id he’s been using to get around town. Then he moonwalks away.

Now that I have a fake ID, I should be able to enter the two doors that need security cards. Let’s take a look.

This ID made me laugh. Well done, Herman. Well done!

I use my fake ID on the elevator and it works! It takes me to a high ledge, where I find a non-working teleporter, a skeleton containing some more bones, and a proper ID. I also find some cement pylons, one of which contains a hook. I attach my fishing line to the hook.

I go back to the other security card-barred entrance, and even though I have a better ID, I use Herman’s first to see what happens.

I like to imagine Herman getting crushed by a giant boxing glove here too.

I use the professional ID card instead, and enter the security room. I take some detonators and find some useful-looking weapons.

Unfortunately I never get to use any of these weapons.

I try attaching the detonators to my charge cases.

Turning my charge cases into bombs explains why I couldn’t blow anything up yet. And I’ve tried to blow up a lot of things, including the display cases the weapons are behind in this very room!

Well, now I go back to my idea I had a few posts ago of blowing up the viewport to the ocean. On prompting from the narrator, I put the timer module on the bombs to create a timebomb, put in on the viewport and set it.

Then I go to where the boat is on the ground and attach the dangling end of the fishing line that I’d previously attached to a hook on the upper ledge.

I don’t think this boat is big enough for me to take two of every animal.

I was hoping to sit in the boat and ride the wave as the place flooded, but I still can’t get in the boat. And the car also won’t go back to the place with the teleporter in it. Before I have time to come up with a plan C, the bomb goes off.

Well, after reloading, I decide to try getting higher before the flood. This time I go to the upper ledge after securing the boat, and I remain safe after the area floods. I pull the fishing line and get on the boat.

Now, the one place I can see in the distance must be the governor’s tower where the vase is. I’m sure I’m close to the end of the game now! I go towards the tower.

Unfortunately the game won’t let me just drive around the monster.

I throw food and bones at the sea monster, but after a small time he sticks me with his tongue and eats me.

I try a lot of things here and was actually stuck for quite a while. I can drive back to the ledge, but each time I try to go toward the tower the monster pops up again. On the ledge, I can use my binoculars to look at the tower and see the vase glinting temptingly. Remembering how I eventually got rid of the dog, I tried throwing the bones at various parts of the water but the monster didn’t budge. After a surprisingly long time I tried putting my bomb in the chicken.

With the sea monster dead, I continue along towards the tower, picking up a floating bottle on the way. After entering the penthouse window I find the vase. I suspect a trap but try to take it anyway.

Should’ve put the rearview mirror on my rear.

With Raiders of the Lost Ark being one of my favourite movies, I’d already guessed the likely solution. Going back to the window, I partly fill my empty bottle with sea water. I can ½ fill it, ¼ fill it, ¾ fill it, or completely fill it. You can guess what happens when I fill the bottle too much or not enough, but when it’s exactly half full, I Indiana Jones it with the vase.

So, now that I have the vase, I use the governor’s personal teleporter to go back to the launchpad I’d used last time when I got the bad ending.

Just for fun, I try to make Rex’s dangerous trip totally pointless.

Aw.

I apply my polycement to the crack in my cockpit window and take off, hoping that the cement will let my cockpit survive the vacuum of space. It does, and I get in a short battle with the ship that shot mine down at the beginning of the game.

Alright! I’ve blown up those evil women and escaped. Now time to get my reward

We now return to the opening scene of the game, after Rex started to tell Colonel Stone what he went through to get the vase. I’ll admit I’d kind of forgotten that this entire game was a flashback.

That ending was… extremely abrupt.

And I’ve won! After all that effort, Rex carelessly knocking the vase over and breaking it is very in character for the incompetent hero he (along with a lot of comedy adventure game protagonists) seems to be. And going straight to the credits rather than show me the aftermath of the breakage is a valid comedic choice, though it did take me by surprise and I generally prefer to sit back and watch a detailed ending after finishing a game.

All in all – I had fun. It had enough funny moments to keep me interested, and I overall found this game good enough, but not excellent. We’ll see next week how it fares with the PISSED rating system but I’m expecting a middling score. See you then!

Session time: 1 hour 50 minutes Total time: 8 hours 40 minutes

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/rex-nebular-won/