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joyfulhopelox · 3 years ago

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Bad Synapses | KSJ

Pairing: TA/Neurosurgeon!Jin x Junior Doctor! reader (medical au, bbf)

Genre: smut, romance, angst

Summary: The brain has the wonderful ability to mend what was broken in ways that no one seems to understand yet. He's been in your life as multiple people, a mentor, a friend, family connection only to end up your boss - somewhat. Your relationships ended and mended as time passed but can the good doctor mend this broken connection?

Warning: language, sexual themes multiple sex scenes (public sex, teasing, masturbation m and f, oral f and m receiving, unprotected sex, bit of sensory play, dom!Jin)

Wordcount: 26k (I am so sorry)

Rating: 18+

Tag list: @ggukcangetit, @bringmetheksj, @sunshinejunghoseokie

A/N: I am so nervous to post this for some reason. Maybe because it's taken me all of my strength and energy and it's my longest one shot? Provided I have not hit the dreaded writer's block (not sure about that yet), I will be returning to normal posting schedule. It started as an idea from a tiny scene in the American version of 'The Good Doctor' and ended up a mammoth. Thank you @notyouroppar for being my beta and being the most encouraging person, and to everyone who has been patient with me and my crazy schedule.

If you have any feedback, or just want to talk to me please do! I love seeing your thoughts and hearing from you!

Sᴏɴɢ: ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴜ - ʀᴏsᴇɴғᴇʟᴅ | ɴɪɢʜᴛ sᴡɪᴍ - sɪᴅɪ

Going through med school would have been a fun experience, if only you didn’t struggle so much with the pressure of family, responsibilities and your massive crush on your TA. Just like everything else, his appearance put a massive halt in your resolve to stay focused on finishing, specialising and then leaving the city quietly– heck, you’d even hoped to leave the country.

He’d been hired in the last year of your specialty, close to final exams, and his appearance did nothing but distract you. As soon as he made his way into the dissection theatre, all dressed in scrubs, black hair fluffed up, pouty lips that made you wonder what it would feel like to have them all over you; that was it. You were a goner, and you have more than once done the wrong cut in your practical and given the wrong answer as he stared you down from the podium.

To say you dreamt about him on most nights would be an understatement. Sometimes you would wake up in the middle of the night, having dreamt about those plush lips all over your body, doing things to you that would make anyone sweat. On those nights you would instantly resort to your trusted vibrator, one who’s taken the role of your TA in your head more times than you could count.

That was all in private though. Unfortunately, in public, you carried yourself with disinterest and even snark whenever he would be mentioned. Whenever you’d have a personal encounter with him, you’d all but be icy cold. The reality underneath that coldness was that you felt yourself burn every time he would look you in the eyes, and you struggled to keep yourself from moaning his name out loud whenever he addressed you. You had it bad, and you needed to stop otherwise you wouldn’t graduate at all this year. Not only was he your TA, and you his student technically, but he was also 7 years older than you. There was no way he would have any interest in you as a student - albeit a bright student, but a student, nonetheless. Someone who’d spend most of her days either in class ogling him or in the library, actively trying to stay focused on her OSCEs and not how much she wanted to be bent over the desk with him pounding her from behind.

“Miss Y/N?” You shook yourself out of it, his voice calling out your name making you aware of the awkward situation you found yourself in. Not only were you late to class earlier. By being late you had no other choice but to take a seat in the front row, a row where you not only had a perfect view of his broad back and ass, but also a row where he in turn had the perfect view towards you. You could only hope that the end of the pen you had been chewing was not slobbered all over. Hesitantly you pulled it out of your mouth, your eyes slowly rising to meet Jin’s.

“Ye-yes?” Your voice was hoarse for not having used it in hours and you cleared your throat before you continued. “Did you say something?” You tried your best to school your face into a neutral one, one that didn’t display all your dirty thoughts from earlier, but you knew that the blood rising to your face was a dead giveaway.

“Could you please tell us what the method is for assessing a patient’s mental status?” Jin repeated calmly, leaning against the podium, his hands in his pockets. This position did very little to hide his thighs and other things you would have rather not have thought about. Wrecking your brain for the correct answer, you frowned, until you remembered what you had just read the night before about assessing mental status in the case of non-neurological assessments.

“Uh, the way to conduct an assessment would be to pay attention to a patient’s level of consciousness, orientation and memory.” You declared, smiling proudly at him, your eyes shining with defiance, daring him to carry on asking you. You had this, and no number of good looks from him would bring your grades down.

Jin nodded at you, his calm demeanour not giving away the heated conversation he was having with himself. The smile you were offering him, did nothing to satisfy him. It only spurred him on, and with a smirk he straightened himself up and took a few calculated steps towards your seat, his dark eyes never leaving yours. Drinking in every bit of your features, he didn’t miss the way you gulped at his approach. “Then Miss Y/N,” he all but purred, features still locked into a polite smile. “Would you mind coming here and showing us how the assessment is done?”

Oh fuck.

Hours later and you still buzzed from your earlier encounter, mind blank and going about your day about as robotically as you could have been.

“Come on, Y/N. You smashed that.” Your friend and fellow future neurosurgeon Taehyung prodded you. You’ve been staring at walls since lunchtime. Even when your exam schedule got released you didn’t fret as you usually would have. Now, as you sat in the library and you’d barely touched your textbook, he began to worry.

Would’ve also smashed something else. You thought ruefully, but decided to give your friend the time of the day as you turned your attention towards him. “Yeah.” Feeling intelligent for your response, you deemed it enough to hold him over until later.

Truth of the matter was, you were having an incredibly hard time trying to get over what had happened earlier between Jin and you. The constant small comments that praised you, that is good, excellent, spilling out from his lips as you touched him in front of your peers. That all did nothing to quench the thirst that settled deep inside your stomach. He was more muscular than you gave him credit for, and his slender waist, as you demonstrated how to check for conscious responses, drove you up the wall. It wasn’t just his praises but also the way his dark half lidded gaze settled on every move that you made as your fingers trailed over the expanse of his back, the way he licked his lips when you gripped the back of his head. You could’ve sworn you heard a breathy exhale as you bent down to touch the inside of his knee. All that and your hands trembled like a leaf in the wind, and your panties were probably so wet they almost dropped by themselves.

You’ve done well, Y/N. That was almost your undoing. You were close to dropping on your knees to ask for more but luckily, the fret of students who were eager to go onto their lunch break separated the two of you. Before you left, Jin made sure to give you another praising smile, this time his hand lingering on the inside of your elbow, the tingles of which you could still feel now. And you doubt you’d ever forget his parting words.

You’ve got skillful hands Y/N. I hope you’ll put them to good use.

“Y/N.” Taehyung stared at you deadpan, his pen clicking impatiently on the side of your book. “Could you please focus for a minute?” Your friend was never one for being annoyed, but right now, the tick of his eyebrow and the incessant tap of his foot told you he’s just about had it. With a groan you all but slammed your head onto the table, your forehead coming into contact with the hard surface with a dull thud. If you couldn’t concentrate you would fluke, and you haven’t gone through five years of university to fail right before graduation.

“Ok, right. I’m sorry.” You look at him, your pleading face promising at least one drink of his choice later when you take a much needed break. “Let’s do this again.” Tapping your fingers onto the surface of the table, you push yourself off it with tremendous effort. Truth is, your thoughts were not only muddled by your impossible crush on your TA, but they were also frazzled due to severe lack of sleep and too much caffeine too late in the night.

Even just the thought of the bitter beverage made your mouth water and your brain sing. You decided that a break sounded better than ever. “Hey.” You tapped your friend whose furrowed brows told you he may appreciate a break too, on the shoulder. Taehyung looked up at you, his eyes wide as if you’ve caught him off guard. “I’m getting some bitter life juice.” You nodded your head in the general direction of the exit. “Wanna come?”

Taehyung sprung up as soon as you mentioned, his sudden movement making the chair scrape the carpet, its leg getting caught. Laughing at his enthusiasm you wound your arm around his shoulder, in itself an impossible task as he is taller, as you tease him. “You sure you wanted to study? You’re awfully quick to dump the books.”

“My brain hurts, which is funny considering that I’m making it hurt by reading about itself.” Taehyung grumbles amusedly. “But then again, I guess anytime we self-reflect we give ourselves a headache.” He ends up gesturing philosophically and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Trust your best friend to be a drama queen.

“Whatever you say Freud, whatever you say.” You shook your head at him, the amused smile on your face not dropping until you reached your destination – the shabby but cosy cafe at the bottom of the building. A place where you have spent countless sleepless nights during freshman year nursing a hot cup of dark liquid, unsweetened and with no milk to soothe the bitterness of the taste. Funnily, your coffee addiction started when you started university. Which is not an uncommon thing, most of your peers had developed a taste for the addictive effects of the caffeine buzzing through their veins in the same way as you have. However, you started out with the sweetest milkiest beverage you could find, only to discover that the bitterness of the coffee woke you up more so than the caffeine content in it did. So little by little you transitioned into drinking the darkest beverage you could, its colour only rivalled by the state of your dark circles.

“Plus, you’re buying.” Taehyung winked at you as he opened the doors for you, gesturing to go ahead.

“Ever the gentleman.” You tapped his arm as you passed by, mockingly shaking your head in displeasure. It’s the least you could do for him after having made him go through your daydreaming and firm refusal to study.

Sitting at the counter you tapped your fingers onto your thighs, impatient to get back to your seat and get your head back into the game. You needed to graduate. And Medical Ethics was not going to pass itself.

“Oh Taehyung–” As if the stars aligned, in the worst possible ways, the voice interrupting your trail of thoughts was awfully familiar. Familiar in class, and familiar in your dreams.

“And Y/N.” You turned around quickly enough to catch the surprised look on Jin’s face as if he hadn't expected you to be there. Your smile felt clipped, the muscles in your face refusing to cooperate with you. In fact, your whole body seemed to be going through a myriad of conflicting emotions.

“Teach.” You acknowledged him, your stiff posture not loosening up even after Taehyung nudged you with his elbow. “I mean, Seokjin.” You corrected yourself, just in time, judging by the frown marring Seokjin’s face. You remembered well the hour-long lecture he had at the beginning of the year when he barged in, explaining quite methodically why he shouldn’t be called teacher or professor. His gaze did not falter as he seemed to be weighing his next words, the irritating aura still hanging over you like an unpleasant smell. It may have been just you and the fact that you were hyper aware of his presence, or the fact that you were trying your hardest to show disinterest. But the tension wall that formed between the two of you felt so strong you physically had to remove yourself from being so close within his presence.

“I won’t be your teacher for much longer now, Y/N.” Seokjin’s smile would seem a genuine, friendly smile to anyone else but you. To you, the undertone sounded like a warning laced with promises. Promises that you hoped you were not imagining along with his darkened expression and smouldering eyes.

Taking a step back you glanced nervously at Taehyung, whose scrutinising gaze drank every little detail of your interaction with Seokjin. You knew you’d be interrogated soon, but you would try to put it off for as long as possible. With Taehyung, avoidance rarely worked, he had the oddest of ways of finding anyone. And you mean anyone and everyone. You would stoop as low as to use Seokjin as an excuse to get out of being drilled.

“We were just getting a drink.” You supply helpfully. Though not asked, you hoped that it would help clear the air between the two of you. You weren’t familiar with Seokjin at all but if it helped get you out of trouble with Taehyung, you’d take all the chances you could get.

“Would you like to join us?” Surprised at the invitation that spewed out of your friend’s mouth you let yours drop with a squeak of surprise. The attention back on you, you could feel the flush threatening to burst from under your clothes making its way to your face.

“Ah, yes, would you like to…” You trailed off, your widened eyes locking onto Seokjin’s. A shiver travelled down your spine at the way his eyes seemed to take in every bit of your features in a predatory-like manner. It felt as if he was waiting for you to slip up, stumble, so that he could make a move.

“Y/N is paying!” Taehyung added as if that would sway Seokjin to respond more favourably. Despite the rocks currently residing at the bottom of your stomach, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at your best friend and his unhelpful friendly attitude. Now you wouldn’t only have to pay for three drinks, but you may also have to potentially spend time at a table across from the man you’ve been crushing on since you saw him. You only hoped that Taehyung’s presence would stop you from cracking and begging said man to take you over that table.

“I would love to.” After what felt like hours, Seokjin broke the staring contest, his response directed at Taehyung, the small complacent smile back on his face, eyes the shape of a semi crescent moon.

Great.

The flush wasn’t gone even after you reached the counter telling your barista your preferred drinks- for you, an iced americano; Taehyung a vanilla latte, (because he was your resident sugar addict), and– realising you didn’t know Seokjin’s drink, and not wanting to assume, you went to turn around to ask. Only to get slighted as you felt him lean over you to tell the barista his order. This time you couldn’t rely on your flighty best friend who's gone ahead to find you a table.

“A pumpkin spiced latte please.” His voice sounded like smooth chocolate to your ears and judging by the flustered state of the person serving your drinks, Seokjin’s charms weren’t lost on them either. The heat of his body leaning dangerously close over your back felt scalding, and with a squeak you jolted, your elbow painfully making contact with the counter.

Seokjin doesn’t say anything, but the smooth hand that wraps around your throbbing arm and the small downturn of his lips are enough. Gaping at him, certain you look like a fish out of water, you wreck your brain for something to say, but regardless of how much you try you can’t come up with anything that sounds remotely intelligent. All you can focus on is his touch on your arm, the small, gentle brush of his fingers on the inside of your arm is enough to send you into overdrive.

“Here you go.” It sounded underwater but the barista’s voice broke you out of your trance, loud enough to give you an excuse to turn away from him ready to pay. Turning around though, what you realise is that your drinks have been waiting for a while, and what was handed over the counter was a shiny black card and a receipt. Frowning at it, you watched in displeasure how Seokjin calmly took it and placed it in his wallet. Wallet that was not out a second ago.

“I said I would pay.” You huffed at him, the nagging feeling of being indebted to him offering enough courage for you to express emotions like a normal adult would. Or close to. At least you weren’t acting like a sixteen-year-old with a crush anymore.

Amused by the clear irritation in your voice, he had the audacity to shrug. “I think Taehyung said you’d pay. And he’s not here so…” he trailed off leaning closer to you and you felt yourself stiffen. “Whatever he doesn’t know won’t kill him.” Paying no heed to your frozen state, Seokjin playfully winked at you as he grabbed two of the drinks on the counter and stepped back, eyes searching for Taehyung’s seated form. Not finding him anywhere he turned back towards you, his head motioning towards the stairs. “I think Taehyung is seated upstairs.” He didn’t wait for a response before making his way up, leaving you half frozen and dazed, your weak knees making you lean onto the counter for support.

“Fucking hell.” You muttered to yourself, your brain playing over and over again the interaction between the two of you.

“What took you so long, slowpoke?” Was Taehyung’s first reaction when you finally managed to make your way up, and you tried your hardest not to sock him in the arm for being so oblivious. Your eyes avoided Seokjin’s elegant form seated next to your best friend. He looked regal in a lot of ways, and definitely stuck out like a sore thumb next to you two. There was a clear distinction between two med students, living off caffeine and cereal to survive with very little interest in how you looked and an established doctor who was also a part time lecturer. Your worlds just didn’t fit.

“Oh shush, not everyone’s at your beck and call Taehyung.” You rolled your eyes at him as you sat down, the cramped space making it difficult for your knees not to touch Seokjin’s. Just your luck, the round table your best friend found was making it difficult to avoid him being in your face. Not wanting to stare at him, you did your best impression of a person interested in the area, as if you hadn’t been there so often it became your second home.

The cafe had always been a quaint place for you. Its cream walls were decorated with various modern art paintings, the fairy lights hanging above them as well as the bookshelves that were stacked with new and old books, and board games–all ready to provide some extra entertainment for the patrons. It’s always been a place where you found solace and peace, but as you felt the slight push of Seokjin’s knee against yours you couldn’t help but think that today may be a bit different.

“Teach– ouch.” Taehyung’s cry of pain brought your attention back to the table. Seeing his slightly red, glossy eyes as he rubbed his underarm area and Seokjin’s fingers imitating a claw at him you can’t help but laugh. It was clear you got preferential treatment earlier, Seokjin being serious about you using the term teacher.

“Who’s ‘Teach’, that’s Seokjin to you.” His voice was serious, but the smile pulling at his lips said otherwise. The light atmosphere made you smile under your breath. You wanted to bank Seokjin’s behaviour from earlier as a distant memory, or a dream that you had the night before, one where you woke up and were already sweaty and wet as if you have orgasmed in the middle of it.

“Y/N?” Taehyung’s voice broke you out of your thoughts and you realised they had been addressing you whilst you were dreaming about dreaming about Seokjin and what you were ready to give to him if he would ask. Embarrassed, you hummed as you took a sip of your drink, your gaze locking onto Jin’s right as your lips wrapped around the straw. In those few moments, you could have sworn you saw his expression darken and the muscle in his jaw tick, as if he was clenching his jaw. But it was gone so quickly it could have easily been a trick of your oversexualised and overstimulated mind.

“You were saying?” You chose to ignore Seokjin, turning your attention back to Taehyung, whose scrutinising gaze told you he noticed more than he let on. You could only hope he’d keep it to himself.

“Holidays, we were talking about autumn holidays.” Taehyung prompted. “Are you going home?”

You shrugged, leaning into your seat. “I have to, it’s tradition and mum would have my…” Trailing off you snuck a glance at Seokjin whose amused expression seemed to have never left your face. “Arse, if I don’t go.” You mumbled flustered at your own choice of words. Taehyung guffaws, his luck is short though, as he snorted whilst taking a sip of his own drink.

You couldn’t help but snicker at his clumsiness, but the loud boisterous laugh that escaped Seokjin sets you off and soon you’re both laughing at your best friend whose indignant face tells you he’s less than amused. A few curses and some used napkins later, Taehyung announced he is going to the bathroom to clean himself up.

With traces of laughter still on your lips you turned towards Seokjin, the awkward situation from earlier completely erased by Taehyung’s silliness. You feel more confident in your ability to speak to him. “What about you Teach– Seokjin?” You quickly correct yourself not wanting to suffer the same wrath your friend had. If you were to get pinched by him, you’d wish it was under different circumstances.

Seokjin pursed his lips, his expression thoughtful for a moment as his fingers rubbed over them. You didn’t know whether he was doing it on purpose or not– what you did know was that once again your eyes were honed in on his mouth, wistfully wishing they would be yours to take.

“I’m not going home for the holidays actually.” He finally took mercy on you, his posture mirroring yours. You didn’t realise that from leaning away from him you’ve quickly leaned in with very little distance to spare between the two of you. “I don’t have enough time to divide myself between houses at the moment, and I've already promised to visit my friend.”

Not wanting to make things awkward once more, you forced yourself to carry on the conversation, partly curious about the personal life of your teacher. It struck you that you hadn’t even considered whether he had a girlfriend, wife? Children?

A bit ashamed of yourself and your insensitivity, you couldn’t stop yourself from blurting out. “Oh, I see! Girl- friend?” You tried to mask your eagerness with a small cough.

Seokjin couldn’t help but laugh, finding your obvious reactions quite endearing. It almost made him want to react, your childish responses towards him more than gave your crush away. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t flattered– or interested for that matter, but it wasn’t the time or place for that. Instead, he chose to tease you, eager to see you flush once more.

“Why? Interested in the position?” The smirk never left his face and if not for his preposterous assumption– well, almost preposterous, you would’ve found yourself staring dumbfoundedly at him.

With a small cough you shrugged trying to seem as dismissive as possible before you answered. “I thought you may have someone waiting for you at home.” His eyes never left yours, as if he was taking pleasure in your discomfort, as if your embarrassment was giving him satisfaction. And despite the flushed feeling coursing through you, you accepted his challenge.

Enjoying the way you flustered under his gaze, he made sure to not look away as he responded. “I do.” His short response made your heart stop, realising how naive you’ve been to not consider the possibility of him being taken. Eyes slightly wide you opened your mouth to apologise for intruding in his personal life, when he started snickering before he fully threw his head back and laughed out loud.

“Her name’s Suki, she’s a 4-year-old Collie.” Hearing him, you didn’t know whether or not to laugh incredulously at him, continue being mortified, or just sock him in the face.

“You–” Luckily your decision was made for you rather quickly, as mid burst Taehyung chose to strut back in plopping himself back on his chair, his shirt cleaner than before.

“I swear, toilets are the one thing that should be illegal to not have cleaned. What did I miss?” He looked expectantly between you and Seokjin as if you’ve somehow discovered the secrets of the Holy Grail without him – and to you it may have just as well been.

“Nothing, we were still discussing holidays actually.” Seokjin took over, helpfully aiding the conversation without giving too much away. You didn’t know whether to feel flattered that he chose to keep your talk to himself or to carry on feeling embarrassed.

You jumped slightly, the feel of someone’s leg lightly nudging yours taking you by surprise.

“You ok there, Y/N?” Taehyung frowned at you, somewhat worried that the lack of sleep may have gotten to you.

A quick glance towards your right told you that Taehyung was too far away for him to have been the one playing with your leg, and usually he wouldn’t be able to lie for too long, his furrowed eyebrows and serious expression told you he wasn’t the one challenging your ankles. Not daring to glance towards the left, realising it could only be Seokjin, you quickly nodded at your friend reassuring him you were fine.

“Fine, I just hit my knee under the table. Nothing major.” You were quick to dismiss him, not before delivering a counter attack of your own towards Seokjin’s leg, when with the pretense of shifting yourself in your seat, you pressed your foot a bit too far up on the inside of his knee. The sharp inhale would’ve been barely audible if not for your trained ears and you smiled to yourself. Score.

Two could play at this game.

“So Tae, what is your mother making you do this year for the holidays?” You were quick to change the subject, aware that it won’t be long until Seokjin launches an attack of his own, hoping he would. Taehyung’s weakness was his mother’s flamboyant parties, where there would be a big family gathering for Thanksgiving, like any other family, if not for the fact that she would host them anywhere but at home. Last year was a yacht. The previous year was in Egypt. It became a running joke between the two of you now, trying to make guesses of where she would throw them next.

At Seokjin’s confused expression you turned around and explained the situation to him, traces of laughter in the crinkle of your eyes. To say he was staring at you and the lively glint in your eyes was an understatement, he had to force himself to keep breathing. You looked so carefree, so happy it was almost tempting.

Half understanding what you were telling him about Taehyung’s odd family traditions for Thanksgiving, he smiled good-naturedly at your friend.

“I have a feeling Y/N’s Thanksgiving is just as crazy as yours.” You ignored his odd tone, choosing instead to laugh as Taehyung bit the bullet and started complaining about how boring your Thanksgiving was compared to his.

When another attack came from Seokjin’s leg you were half prepared, quick to try to capture his in between yours not realising that would be giving him free reign to try to go further up your leg to attempt to get you to release him. However, when his knee made close contact with the softness of your core you tensed, a jolt of electricity ran through you making your stomach clench.

Stealing a glance at him you jolted slightly when he lowered his leg, the harsh material of his trousers rubbing against your ankles. You were in overdrive, your thoughts scattered about the place and for once you were glad that Taehyung seemed to be leading the conversation taking you out of the limelight. You waited for Seokjin’s next move, not daring to respond in case he hadn’t meant to go that far, but when he nudged you once again with his knee, this time pressing for one second too hard on your already sensitive core you bit your lip to suppress a moan.

Being this close to him made your thought process a jumbled mess, but having him touch you in ways you’ve only dreamed of seemed too much for you to be able to function. You were putty in his hands and you had to admit to yourself. The shame of knowing you were in public, along with the fact that you were very much aware this was not meant to happen between someone like him and someone like you, all this was enough to spur your lust on. The depravity of your actions only fuelled the tight knot that seemed to be building in your stomach and you knew you had to stop him, otherwise you’d surrender to your desires and come right then and there in front of everyone in the cafe – and that included your best friend.

“So– Teach– Seokjin, mentioned he has a dog.” You randomly announced not daring to look at anyone but the strangers around the cafe. Excusing yourself before you announced you should probably get going as you still had to study, you got up, half congratulating yourself for coming up with such an excuse and half cringing at how high and wavery the tone of your voice sounded. Taehyung stopped in the middle of the sentence, his eyes widening in glee. If there was one thing he couldn’t resist it was animals, of any kind. Immediately changing the topic to animals, he engaged Seokjin in a discussion and even as you made your way towards the toilet, your knees shaky, you could still feel the heat of his gaze burning down your back.

You’ve always thought of your attraction to your TA as a crush. Always called it a crush, but in reality, you’ve always known it to be an over-sexualised infatuation. However, sitting across from him, playing footsie under the table, remnants of the burning feeling of where his knee and fingers caressed you earlier, and having discussed more than when the next class was going to be held– you couldn’t help but think that you may be actually crushing on him. You were fucked for lack of a better word, and you couldn’t do anything about it.

======

It all went south when you met him outside of class. It felt like a slap in the face for you to discover he was not only your TA, but also your brother’s best friend. Going home for the holidays was always an exciting time for you. Being away for so long with only a few phone calls made these moments much more special. You were ready for your annual trip during autumn for Thanksgiving. It was the time to spend a good week of it with your parents and brother and it couldn’t have come any sooner. The fact that he was sitting on your parents’ couch, laughing and talking comfortably with your brother confirmedyou were going straight to hell.

“Oh! Y/N! Come over and meet Seokjin! He’s been my best friend since the end of high school.” Your brother waved you over as soon as you entered the front door lugging your bag behind you, all wrapped up in your scarf, nose red from the autumn winds. You probably looked like a mess, you certainly felt like one. Not only was the sight before you unexpected, but to hear the name of the person who had haunted your dreams for so long, come out of your brother’s mouth, was even worse.

“Uhm.” You fretted, undecided whether or not you should let your brother know of your connection with his best friend. When Jin rose from the couch and greeted you with a small smile and a polite nod you decided that he had chosen to ignore the connection you two had at university. You were not sure why, but knowing that he was obviously ignoring you in this manner irked you.

“Sure, hi.” You shrugged dismissively, before you turned around to address your brother. “Jerk, mum told me you ate all the cookies she baked last night!” You slapped his arm lightly to emphasise your annoyance. “Also, what happened to manners? Hello, hi Y/N, nice to see you. I missed you?” Standing there, in the middle of the living room, your brother’s mischievous glare meeting your annoyed expression, it took you a second before you realised what was about to go down. Your face slowly fell as it dawned on you, and you were a second too late to react. Turning around to escape the wrath of your brother you bumped into Jin, whose arms wound around you to support your staggering body.

“Steady.” He smiled warmly at you, and you fought all your senses to not shudder at his tone. Staring at him for a second too long was dangerous, yet you couldn’t stop yourself. Your eyes trailing down from his lashes to his full lips, you let out a staggered breath tempted to bite your own at the thought of his closeness. If you just reached out a bit -

“Gotcha.” It seemed like time had not stopped as you had wished it to, and your brother’s torturous descent would not only topple you over, but it would also make Jin lose his footing. With a strangled yelp the two of you met the floor with as much grace as a bull in a china shop would. Hitting the hard floor was not as impactful as you would have thought it to be, but that may have been only due to Jin’s broad form cushioning half of your body.

It wasn’t the first time you were touching him, the image of your palm against his broad back burnt into your mind. It was the first time that you found yourself lying on top of him, your side flush against his body, your hearts so close together you could feel the counter beat to your main. Or maybe you just suddenly got arrhythmia. You wouldn’t put it past your body to malfunction in this way, already your brain was struggling to catch up with your position and the way Seokjin’s arms wound around your waist keeping you to him.

The loud cackle coming from your brother kicked you into motion. Suddenly remembering that you weren’t alone, you lifted your head up assessing your position.

“Is everything alright?” Your mother walked in just in time to witness the sight of her only daughter sprawled out on top of her son’s much older friend and said son’s howling laughter filling the room. “Honestly, Namjoon, Y/N get up and help me in the kitchen. Your aunt is supposed to get here any minute! And you know she has something to say about everything.” Hands on her hips, foot tapping the ground incessantly, your mother was a force to be reckoned with and Namjoon’s laughter abruptly subsided. Rushing out of the room with a final cackle and a warning to be good he left you and Seokjin to get better acquainted with the floor. Or to get better acquainted on the floor.

To say you were mortified at the position you landed yourself in was an understatement. Your brain was in overdrive trying to figure out how to escape this promiscuous situation, when you felt Jin shift from under you. The sigh of relief he let out followed by the deep chuckles that made his ribcage vibrate under you prompted you to try to move.

“Stay, I’m comfortable.” Seokjin’s voice sounded hazy as if he was ready to fall asleep, but judging by the hold he still had on you, you knew him to be anything but.

“Seokjin.” It was a meek warning, but a warning nonetheless. Your mother and brother were in the kitchen only a few feet away from you, and as of then he was still your teacher – no matter how much you may have wanted this, it was not the time nor the place.

“Jin.” He simply mumbled, his voice trailing off and you couldn’t help but smile, glad that your face was half hidden in his shirt. This offering to use the shortened version of his name felt intimate and you felt like it brought you a step closer to him in a way that you’ve never been before.

“Jin.” You repeated, your voice soft as if testing the feel of his name on your tongue. If you paid attention to him you would’ve noticed how his smile widened but you were too focused on finding a way to get yourself out of the situation without making either of you awkward.

“My leg’s cramping.” You finally settled for the feeling that seemed to have taken over your limbs, the odd angle it got caught in making it tense under your weight. Waiting for Seokjin to let you go, you yelped when with a sigh he tightened his hold on you and pulled you further on top of him. Despite the feeling of pressure being relieved from your leg, your heart rate felt as if it was about to go through the roof and you let out a nervous chuckle, unsure on how to proceed from there on.

“Jin, that is not what I meant. Let me up.” You chided, amused at his childish refusal to let you go. Despite being a grown ass man, seven years your senior, and a teacher at a prestigious university, he was acting like a petulant child, his whine making you laugh.

“It’s…awkward.” You mumbled under your breath, prompting him to laugh once more.

“Don’t think too much Y/N.” The tone of his voice spoke volumes to you but you chose to stay silent waiting for him to carry on. “It’s only as awkward as you make it seem.” He lifted his head up briefly to glance at you. “You’re free to get up at any point.”

His grip on you didn’t falter and with a huff you found yourself not making another move to get up. He was right, it was comfortable, and he was warm and you were tired from your trip. Your aversion to being in his arms overridden by the warmth and comfort he provided you decided that maybe staying there for a bit longer wouldn’t hurt.

“So this is what you meant by a friend inviting you for Thanksgiving? Why didn’t you just tell me?” You didn’t know whether you could breach the subject or not, seeing as he refused to acknowledge you in front of your brother, but your curiosity got the best of you and you couldn’t help but let the words slip out of your mouth. You weren’t as close, but you have had enough interactions by now for you to be compelled to ask him about this. “I thought you were going to spend Thanksgiving with your dog-friend.” You couldn’t help but tease him and he let out a loud laugh, his chest rumbling under your palm.

“I didn’t know until the week before we spoke about it when Namjoon called me. He mentioned you but…” His voice trailed off, and after a few moments of silence you lifted your head to look at him thinking he was already asleep.

Upon closer inspection his distant glossy gaze made you curious about what he may be thinking. He seemed far away, as if he was dreaming of something he was yearning for. Not wanting to intrude, you chose to change the subject, the silence made you feel uncomfortable and his dream bubble made you think you didn’t belong there.

“I’m surprised he did. With the welcome I got from both him and my mother…” You tried to shake your head as much as you could in that position. The displeasure at your receival evident in your voice. “Makes me think if I should've just gotten a dog and stayed with them. The welcome would’ve probably been warmer.” You were half joking, but the way Seokjin shifted from under you, his arms cushioning your body as he lowered you down next to him, told you he took this seriously. You were both lying on your sides now, the joking atmosphere mostly gone, replaced by an air of sombreness.

“Never wish that Y/N.” Seokjin looked at you pointedly, his eyes not glossy anymore, instead a determined glint seemed to have taken its place. “Being alone is not good. It’s soul sucking.”

Surprised at his response, you simply stared at him, eyes drinking in every change in his facial expression. Your mind was running miles per minute, trying to come up with something to say, but always falling short. For a tense second no one said a thing, eyes simply locked, his– unwavering, yours– unsure. The hand that reached out to gently trace the side of your face made you choke out a small gasp, but you didn’t dare to move. He felt safe and warm, and he felt like a solid presence next to you. He used to seem so far away, now he was just there next to you. His thumb gently traced your bottom lip, and for a moment your heart stuttered wondering if he was going to kiss you. The small rustle of clothes as he shifted closer to you made you feel as if the world stopped and all you could see, feel, hear was him. Then as if a spell was broken with the jingle of bells and a flurry fluffy head slotted itself between the two of you, Jin let you go with a small chuckle, his brain already seeming to have caught onto what was going on.

“Suki.” He laughed as the flurry body carried on pushing itself between the two of you.

It took you a second to recognise the name, but the moment you did, you couldn’t hold in your excitement. Propping yourself up on your elbow you took in the Collie that now made its home flushed against you and Jin and was watching the two of you expectantly.

“This is Suki?” Your excited gleam made Jin laugh as he nodded, hand petting the mane that his dog’s fur seemed to resemble.

“Yes, this is Suki, unfortunately she’s an attention seeker. So you may have to put up with this more than once.” He smiled at you, and you did your best to ignore his last statement. That implied that you were going to find yourselves more than just this once in this position. And you didn’t know if your heart could take it.

“Oh but she’s adorable.” You told him, only to turn your attention back to the dog whose snout was prodding you for attention. “Hello beautiful girl.” Your fingers sunk into her fur as you scratched her behind her ears. “You’re so beautiful, and so cute.” You lowered your head, her snout bumping the tip of your nose. “Yes you are, don’t mind this meanie.” You whispered to her conspiratorially, your eyes briefly glancing at Jin, “he’s just a sourpuss. You deserve all the attention in the world.” As if Suki understood you she let out a small bark followed by a whine, as she enjoyed your cuddle, head now buried into you.

If you glanced briefly at Seokjin, you would’ve been able to clearly see the shift in his demeanour, how his gaze softened or how his fingers twitched at his side. Instead you poured all the love and affection you could on the adorable dog, making him slightly jealous of the attention he was missing from you. This was a side of you he had yet to see, and he hoped he’d get to see more in the upcoming days.

======

Despite your best efforts to be as inconspicuous as possible about your somewhat familiar relationship with Seokjin, your brother managed to walk in on the two of you still lying on the floor, with Suki this time in between the two of you. You thanked your lucky stars for her appearance. Not only because she made a wonderful cuddle buddy but also because she offered the protection and distance needed for Namjoon to not suspect anything of what may have happened earlier.

“I’m working my butt off, and you three are just lounging here as if you’re all guests.” Namjoon chided, the raised eyebrow giving him an amused air.

Restraining yourself from flipping him the bird, you tried to disentangle yourself from Suki’s warm body, and from Seokjin’s hand casually placed on yours in between your bodies. You don’t mention that, but you throw him a look, only to have him wink at you in response. It felt thrilling knowing that you were doing something behind your family’s back, but at the same time you couldn’t help but wonder if it was the right thing to do for your own sake.

“I’ll have you know Kim, I am a guest.” Seokjin threw his friend a look. “And Suki would not be the best help in the kitchen - I can assure you, I tried and she decided to eat all the meat I had prepared.” You knew Jin was making fun of your brother and you couldn’t help but snicker as you slowly straightened up. Your back twinged slightly and you couldn’t help but wince. The floor may have been comfortable whilst you were concentrating on something else, but now that the distraction was completely gone you felt the after effects of the hardwood floor on your back.

“Need a massage Y/N? Jin’s a doctor, he could help, as a guest.” Namjoon emphasised jokingly, but the suggestion made your chest constrict, remembering the feel of his hands around you felt anything but a joke to you.

“I’m also a guest you ass.” Stuttering a lame excuse about actually going to help your mother you punched your brother in the shoulder as you made your exit. You felt thoroughly embarrassed. Not only were you unable to keep your feelings in check, they also made you act like a teenager; getting flustered and running away from the situation.

As soon as the rest of your family made their way to your house, your uncle giving you his usual bear hugs and your father, his familiar pat on the back, you breathed out easily. Today you might have enough distractions to not have to think about anything but the family gathering. You’d hoped that Seokjin would blend in with the rest of them and finally allow you some respite, unsure how much of him your heart could take.

Unfortunately for you, it seemed like the universe didn’t work that way, and you forgot your aunt’s busybody manner. As soon as she walked through the door and she spotted Seokjin’s form next to yours she smiled mysteriously as if she knew something you didn’t. What you did know was that this meant an embarrassing moment for you.

“Oh Y/N, it’s so good to see you.” She said giving you a hug. “Who is this young man, you never told us you’re dating.” She looked expectantly between you and Seokjin and you felt the flush wash against your skin. Not daring to spare the frozen man next to you a glance, you stuttered.

“He’s–he’s not my boyfriend.” The words felt painful coming out of your mouth, as if someone pulled them out with a wrench. “He’s Namjoon’s friend.” You said pointedly, deciding to stand your ground. If you allowed her more than that she would’ve hounded you for more answers and that was the last thing you needed.

“Oh.” She exclaimed, not in the least bit apologetic. “Well. Nice to meet you, Namjoon’s friend.” She added cheerfully and threw you another look. Seokjin laughed good-naturedly and you had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes at him. Of course he would charm every single member of your family. He was Seokjin, there wasn’t a single bone in his body that was not charming.

“Look Aunt, Mother was looking for you.” You pulled her aside as you threw Seokjin another pointed look and guided her towards the kitchen silently apologising to your mother. Your aunt wasn’t only a social nightmare, she was also a cooking one. She was lovely and always tried to help but she wasn’t successful in any of them. And around the kitchen was the last place where your mother would want her own sister. Unfortunately for her, your sake and sanity took priority, and as soon as you steered your aunt into the kitchen and slid the door behind her you sighed in relief.

“Your aunt is lovely.” Jin’s voice behind you made you jolt and you whirled around to face him, hand on your heart to try to keep yourself together.

“Jesus, Jin. You scared me.” Ignoring his intense stare and how easily his name rolled off your tongue, you decided to carry on the conversation as if nothing’s happened. “Yes, she’s a joy. I love her to bits, but she can be extremely overwhelming sometimes.”

“I didn’t mind.” He added, his gaze never leaving yours. You swallowed thickly unsure of what he meant, was he still talking about your aunt or was he talking about what she implied. Feeling your heart rate pick up you chuckled nervously, your fingers pushing your hair behind your ears in nervousness.

“Yes, well– you will, once she starts wanting to know every detail of your life from birth to now.” You smiled at him tight lipped, hoping that he would stop looking at you like that. His gaze was soft, trained on you and it seemed to take in every little detail. But there was also a glint, a spark of something behind his eyes that you couldn’t pinpoint, and you didn’t know if your poor heart could take the meaning behind it even if you could.

He was too close, too close for you to breathe without inhaling his scent. Looking up at him, it felt like the world had stopped turning on its axis, and you were the only two people around. It was an unknown feeling to you, something that you’d only imagined was a myth, yet here you were feeling those exact same tumultuous feelings raging deep inside of you where it seemed like the rest of the world was underwater.

Jin didn’t miss a beat, his steps slowly advancing towards you. “I wouldn’t mind sharing.” He laughed silently; your mind was so muddled you kept yourself quiet for fear of saying the wrong thing.

“I also didn’t mind what she said either.” He added quickly as if a second thought, a glint of mischievousness flashing in his eyes. Your breath caught in your throat, and you opened your mouth to ask him whether he meant your aunt’s prying or what she implied of the two of you. But before you could, Namjoon’s good timing struck you both once more.

“Y/N, Mum needs you–oh….” Feeling embarrassed, you tried to pull away from Jin only to discover that in that one minute conversation he had managed to pin you to the wall.

“Namjoon…s-sure.” Not chancing a glance at either man, you pushed past Jin hurriedly walking back into the kitchen. With your cheeks flaming, you hoped that no one would notice.

======

You kept quiet for most of the evening, helping your mother set the table and arrange the food. The avoidance game you played with Jin was a success as he got caught up in the family’s ruckus. Namjoon kept throwing glances at you, and you knew from the moment he walked in on you and Jin that he suspected something, but you refused to give him the time of the day.

“You know, Y/N.” Your aunt whispered from your side, halfway through the dinner, her eyes trained on you. Leaning towards her, you waited for her to carry on with her thoughts. “I know he’s your brother’s best friend, but he’s a good man, you should snatch him up.” Looking at her confusion painted all over your face, until you noticed she wasn’t looking at you anymore, her eyes were trained on Jin’s unsuspecting form. He was leaning in to talk to your father, both of them laughing as they pointed at the pea dish your mother had made.

“Seokjin?” You asked her, trying your best to keep your panic hidden. Could she tell?

“Mmmmm.” She hummed in agreement, before continuing. “And he’s a doctor too, just like you want to be.” She winked at you before she turned back around to address the table and you gaped at the back of her head incredulously. You resisted the urge to engage her once more, to defend yourself and tell her not only that you have made it to be a doctor, well junior but still, your pride felt chipped; but you also wanted to defend your infatuation with Seokjin, a feeling no one actually knew about, but you felt like you had to.

Excusing yourself from the table, you got up hastily, hoping that no one would notice your swift exit. You loved your family, and Thanksgiving dinner was always a lovely time, however, sometimes it got a bit too much. And judging by the pounding headache and the inability to focus on all the conversions going on around you, you figured it got a bit too much. Before you exited you glanced back once more, checking whether or not someone had spotted you. Namjoon was happy entertaining your aunt who seemed keen on sharing the story about how she finally managed to get the hairdresser’s number. Your mother was happily engaged in a conversation with your grandmother and uncle - something to do with going abroad. And your father was quietly chatting with Seokjin, paying attention to his food. If your father had paid attention, he would’ve noticed that his partner was not really paying him any mind, his eyes were trained on you.

Making eye contact with Jin you smiled tiredly at him before turning around and making your way out of the room and down the corridor that led to your room. You knew they’d question you later on your disappearance, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to worry about it. You would deal with it later, for the moment all you needed was a brief moment of peace and quiet.

“Y/N.”

Caught up in the middle of the corridor you stared at his shadowy form. The light behind him did a good job at bathing him in just the right amount of shadow for your brain to conjure multiple scenarios just as dark. You almost missed the subtle velvety tone of his voice, almost let his whisper pass you by as just a simple acknowledgement.

You couldn’t move, it felt as if your feet were glued onto the carpet of your childhood home. A corridor you knew all too well, a corridor you spent years running up and down as a child, then years trudging up and down as an angry teen. Now as an adult, you barely walked in your past self’s footsteps. As an adult, right at that moment, two months before graduation, you stood in that corridor watching as the man that plagued your dreams more than once made his way towards you. His slow deliberate movements felt as if he was making sure you were aware of his approach, as if he was making sure you were certain of what he had in mind.

You may not have had a clear picture of his thoughts, but you found yourself more than willing to allow him to show you. Breathing out in anticipation your eyes followed every movement, your heart beating along with the pace of his steps. As he increased speed, so did the organ inside of you, the one you knew was not only responsible for your breathlessness, but also the one responsible for your lightheadedness and weak will.

“Y/N.” This time you heard him loud and clear. Even though the sounds of your family laughing and enjoying their Thanksgiving dinner were loud before, now in the stillness of your corridor, all you could hear, see or smell was him. He smelt like a park in autumn, when the leaves have just fallen down onto the ground creating a perfect rug for your feet to crunch under the soles of your boots. He smelt like pumpkin spiced lattes, sweet, fragrant, a hint of nuttiness and just the right amount of spice. That was Seokjin, sweet but slightly tangy, the various personality traits you had witnessed giving him the depth needed to draw you in.

Your eyes took him in, his dark hair as fluffy as it had always been. As if he’s run his hands through it more than once, the side of his face illuminated by the light coming from the living room showcased his smooth features framed by his angular jaw. His soft wet lips looked plumper than normal as if his teeth had gnawed at them with just as much anticipation as yours were. All these made your heart stop, and your knees feel weak, but as soon as your eyes reached his you felt your world turn upside down at the lustful darkness in them. They glimmered, the lights reflecting in his dark irises, almost predatory

His smooth voice lulled you into closing your eyes, your senses alight. You kept your eyes shut as you heard his footsteps halt, and you could feel the goosebumps onto your skin, the expectation of him reaching out to touch you making you buzz.

You didn’t know whether or not it was because your senses were heightened by the darkness you found yourself in or if it was the wanton lust burning through your veins, but you felt enveloped by him completely. His closeness to you, barely a step away, judging by the heat radiating off of him, felt unbearable. The need to reach out and touch him was an impulse you had to fight strongly against.

You resisted, the small spark of fear that this may not be what you thought, and he was only looking for a respite from the crowd. You didn’t trust your fogged up mind, the adrenaline and endorphins from having so much pumpkin pie and so much turkey may have played a role in the excitement your brain felt at the moment – and so you waited.

It didn’t take long for him to breach the final distance between the two of you, his steps barely audible through the noise of chatter coming from the other room. You didn’t need to hear him to feel his presence enveloping you, overtaking any rational thought as to why this was the wrong move.

You felt the shift in the air around you, his strong presence not giving you time to overthink the situation and from your discussion earlier, you were both aware none of you wanted to back out. Remembering his fingers on the small of your back and how they traced playful patterns to the side of your ribcage all the way up to the swell of your breasts, you shuddered. If there was something you wanted the most from this holiday, it was to allow Kim Seokjin to do whatever he wished with you. So when the weight of his palm wrapped around your wrist, his fingers digging all the way into your soul, you didn’t protest. Your ragged inhale was the only acknowledgment you offered him.

“Keep your eyes closed.” His voice was calm but pointed, and your body instantly responded to it, back ramrod straight as you bit your lip. You wanted to tease him, to fight, the rebel in you ready to oppose his demands, but when his hands finally made contact with your skin you couldn’t help but stand frozen on the spot. His fingers made their way up your arm, the feather touch so light you could barely feel it

“Did I tell you to open your eyes Y/N?” Jin hissed as he pushed you into the wall behind you, the contact with the hard surface enough to make you gasp. He was not as well illuminated as he was before, or your eyes were not used to the dark yet, but the shadows that played around his face bathed him in a dangerous glow, a glow that only served to pull you in.

“You never told me off for calling you teacher.” Your calculated smirk made him grip your hips tighter eliciting a moan from you. Jin’s tight lipped smile promised you pain and the fingers leaving imprints on your ass promised pleasure beyond comparison.

“That is because I liked you calling me teacher.” His voice was but a whisper, but his words echoed in your head, burning themselves into your skin. Closing your eyes as his hands travelled underneath your sweater, his cold fingers feeling like ice on your heated skin, you whimpered as he teased you. The soft touches and the sound of his harsh breaths fanning over your face were sending you into overdrive. You attempted to open your eyes, the desire to look at him, at his dark obsidian eyes and plush lips as they teased you and degraded you was too strong to resist.

“Tell me, Y/N.” His lips found the soft spot under your jaw that made you quiver, but he didn’t touch you. The sensation of his velvet skin so close to yours made you tremble, and you let out a guttural moan in response. “Good.” Seokjin chuckle was dark and low and you felt yourself clench at the sound, if his voice could be a physical object you would associate it with satin bed sheets - silky but the feel of it on your skin could make you come with just one touch. The heat of his breath combined with his words pulled you in and you decided then and there that whatever Kim Seokjin wanted out of you, that is what you would give him.

Jin watched you closely, the way your jagged breaths made the taut skin of your neck stand out, it begged for his teeth to sink into it, to mark it as his. He had been observing you the whole day, the clothes you were wearing as beautiful as they made you look, were an inconvenience to him, and for most of the dinner all he wanted was to rip your jumper off of you, his hands itching to leave their mark on the soft skin of your breasts. Now that he was so close to it, he needed to make sure you were on the same page. He wasn’t oblivious to your stares and the way you reacted to him. Both instances he had tested the waters, you responded and were so compliant at his touch he fought hard with himself to not take you then and there. But he needed your verbal approval before he could make you part of his fantasies.

“Open your eyes.” His voice, a lot softer and sultrier than before, pulled you in and without a second thought you followed his instructions. In the dimness of the corridor you could barely make out his features, his dark shadow looming over you. “Tell me Y/N, how much do you want this?” He lowered his head, his broad form towering over you. The strained sound coming from the back of your throat sounded meek and foreign to your ears and you disliked it. The surge of exasperation that bottled at the bottom of your stomach made you act on impulse, your hand already ready to reach for him. Before you could make contact with his body though, he pulled further away from you eliciting a distraught whimper from you.

“Seokjin, please.” You tried to keep your annoyance at bay, the need to please him greater than your own need to release your pent up frustration at his constant teasing.

“Tsk, I need to hear you say it Y/N.” He said pointedly, taking a determined step towards you, his hand gripping yours in the process to keep you from making contact with his body. “I need to hear you say out loud, how much do you want to touch this?” The slightly raised tone was telling of his own anger shining through, and you couldn’t keep your surge of excitement at bay. The knowledge that you drove him up the wall as much as he did you, gave you a sense of power you never thought you possessed.

With a jerk of your wrist, you tried to free your hand from his grip, but it only served to pull him closer to you, his hold on you firm and unrelenting. “I do want to touch you, and God, I want you to touch me. So much.” You gave in, if all it took for you to finally have him fuck you into the next day was playing by his rules then you would do it without hesitation.

At your words Seokjin felt the switch in him, it was as if the dam broke and all his will to keep this a civil relationship melted away. With an animalistic growl he grabbed your shoulder and pushed you to the wall, pinning your body against his. He didn’t waste a moment attaching his lips to yours, the force of their assault almost knocking the breath out of you.

He was soft, softer than his demeanour, and you found yourself drunk on the feel of his plush lips against yours, almost letting yourself melt into him. His lips felt warm and solid under yours and you fought to release your wrist out of his grip, desperate to hold onto him, to touch him, feel him under your palm.

Breaking the kiss Seokjin all but hissed at you in warning. “Not yet, Y/N.” He reprimanded you before he grabbed you by the nape of your neck, attaching his lips to yours once more. The feel of his knee sliding in between your legs parting them made you gasp in his mouth, the action giving him enough space for his tongue to slide inside. Not wasting a moment in finding yours, he traced patterns against the warmth of your mouth, the action making your knees buckle. Not having anything to hang onto you let yourself fall against him, your throbbing cunt making contact with his thigh, an action reminiscent of the time in the cafe. The pressure was enough to satisfy your increasing arousal, and you found yourself subtly rocking your hips, desperate to feel the familiar increase of pressure as you satisfied your needs.

Seokjin could feel the grinding movement of your mound against his thighs, and with an incredible amount of self restraint he managed to calm his breath enough to not give away the raging hardness that strained against his trousers. There would be time for that. For now, he needed to make sure you were all his before he gave you all of himself.

Lowering his head into the crook of your neck, the tip of his nose nuzzling into the strip of skin he had eyed earlier, the shift between his rough behaviour and the sensual touch of his lips against your collarbones, leaving butterfly kisses burning on your skin, made your heart flutter. He didn’t give you a respite though, as he pressed the leg he slotted between your legs into you harder. A foreshadowing of what he was about to offer you.

“Want me to tell you what I want to do to you?” He growls, his knee pushing harder into you making you buck your hips desperate for the delicious friction on your clit. “Want me to tell you what I want you to do to me?” The promise of being able to conclude this push and pull between the two of you in a pleasurable way, a way in which the both of you could get the satisfaction that you needed,

“Mmm-” You could barely speak, your breath ragged, your attention focused on the electric shocks running down your spine, your pussy clenched achingly trying to grip at something, something to relieve the pressure building up. The harsh push of his knee into your wet core is enough to lift you off the floor, your back supported by the wall. The unexpected pain mixed with pleasure made you yelp and your hands were quick to grip onto his arms, desperate to hold onto something to steady yourself.

“Speak louder.” Jin commanded, his knee grinding on your sensitive core relentlessly. “And you better address me properly.” He added, his weight and knee pinning you against the wall.

Unable to hold in your pleas, you finally relented. “Yes. God yes, please. Seokjin, let me touch you.” You tried to free your wrist once more, his hold on you not as strong.

“Now be a good girl and stand still until I tell you, or I’ll have to restrain you.” His grip on you was unyielding, and you couldn’t help but comply even though all the fibers in your being were screaming for you to disobey him.

Head buried in the crook of your neck, his hands finally let go of your wrists, but you didn’t dare to move, afraid that if you did he’d stop. Peppering kisses along your neck his form caging you against the wall, as you continued to whimper he finally gripped the hem of your sweater. Without a hiccup he peeled it off you, and you were quick to raise your arms to allow him to do so.

Jin didn’t miss a beat as he returned his attention back to the smooth skin, his teeth nipping at every available inch of it. He was determined to make you frustrated, overly sensitive, and overpowered; he wanted you to squirm until you broke. He wanted you to rebel against him, finding pleasure in teasing you.

“Jin, touch me harder please.” Your voice sounded meek, his feathery touches didn’t satisfy your cravings. You needed to feel him, wanted him to rough you up until you couldn’t walk the next day.

“All in good time, doll.” He breathed, his hot breath against your skin making you tremble. His lips carried on whispering kisses and taunting you with their velvety touch. As his hands settled themselves on your hips you almost bucked under his touch, his fingers slowly traced patterns over your trousers, from the sensitive skin on your inner thigh, the pads of his fingers barely grazing your clothed mound.

“Seokjin.” You whimpered as you felt the slow build of your orgasm, it felt so close and yet so far. Getting more and more frustrated, your hands found their home in his hair, gripping tightly in an attempt to get him closer, to touch you harder.

Seokjin smirked, as he bit into your left breast without a warning, eliciting a small yelp from you. He couldn’t see in the dark of the corridor but he was sure that he left a hefty bruise on your flesh.

“Now everyone knows that you are mine.” He growled, however despite this he carried on with his light touches, his fingers now caressing you through your trousers, the action enough to make you pant, your fingers gripping painfully at him.

“Shhh.” He tried to quieten you, knowing that somewhere down the hall your family was having a good time completely unaware of your own blissful but sinful good time. Lowering himself down on his knees, his lips still attached to you, he kissed his way down to your navel, nipping at the skin there, your stomach clenching in response and as his fingers hooked onto your trousers, slowly sliding them off you.

He pulled back, your clothes strewn around him, as he took his time observing what he could in the low light shining from the other room. “Beautiful.” The soft tone of his voice made your heart stutter, the heat underneath your skin increasing to unbearable levels.

“Seokjin, please touch me.” You didn’t care how you looked, the only thing that mattered to you was him, and his hands on you. You needed a release, your skin on fire, your cunt ready to take him in if the wetness of your panties was anything to go by.

Jin smirked at you and in the lightly lit corridor, it looked slightly ominous, impish, as if he had something prepared that you didn’t know about. You heard rather than saw the clink of his belt being undone, and you couldn’t help but tremble as your imagination ran wild with you.

“Close your eyes, love.” He demanded and you found yourself complying even before he got to finish the sentence.

Your senses already heightened from the low light, as soon as you closed your eyes, the anticipation made the air around you buzz with electricity. Your breaths were short and raspy, and your hands were desperately trying to ground you onto something. You couldn’t tell if Seokjin stayed on his knees or got up, but the first sharp sting of the belt on your thigh made you choke, the harsh material proceeded to then collide with the side of your breast. It was hard enough to sting yet, you could feel the pleasurable pinch in your nipples at the sensation.

“Fuck.” You gritted through your teeth as he caressed the inflamed areas with the object that caused them pain.

“You like that don’t you? Dirty girl.” Seokjin mused and trailed off as if he was committing this information to memory.

Without a warning he grabbed your leg tightly and lifted it, leaving you completely open to his view. “So pretty Y/N.” He mumbled, the tip of his nose nuzzling your inner thigh travelling further in towards your clenching pussy.

The gentleness of his words and the soft touches made you blush, not having expected this treatment from him. The closer he got to your centre the more you felt your knees tremble. When he finally made contact you were close to collapsing against the wall if not for his strong grip on your hip holding you in place. “Stay still.” He reprimanded as he hooked a finger through your panties pulling them to the side.

“You know what I am going to do to you Y/N?” He asked and even if you knew he couldn’t see your response you shook your head as you inhaled deeply. Seokjin chuckled, the tip of his finger brushing over your engorged clit making you shudder at the contact. “I am going to touch you slowly..” He pressed on your nub lightly as he continued. “Slowly make you crave my touch more and more.” With a deep inhale he lowered his mouth to your cunt, his tongue tracing the outline of it. “Mmm, delicious as expected.” His words were edging on the feeling of your impending orgasm, and he hadn’t even fucked you. “Then,” he trailed off as his tongue found its way within your folds and you let out a deep moan as he carried on licking you. Pausing for breath, his fingers took over the pad of his thumb rhythmically massaging your clit. “I will make sure that you are stuffed full of my cock, and I will make sure to pound this pussy until you can’t walk anymore.” His voice was deep and guttural, his words not only affecting you but himself as well. As he dove in, his tongue lapping at you as if you were his last meal, his dick jolted in his trousers at the thought of you being wrapped around him milking him as he made you mewl out his name for your family to hear.

You could barely breathe, his words ringing through your head and branding themselves on your skin sending a surge of excitement through you. Your voice repeating his name over and over again like a mantra, hands gripping tightly at the wall you felt the hot searing feeling of your orgasm washing over you. “Seokjin, fuck!”

Deciding he’s teased you enough, he let go of you, his tongue reaching out to lick his lips. He straightened himself, his body providing you with support, the aftershocks of your orgasm still coursing through you. “Are you ready for me doll?” His dick now freed from its confines teased at your entrance, the slickness making it easy for him to slide in. You both moaned in unison as your tight walls embraced him. He didn’t move, relishing in the feeling, his head buried in the crook of your neck, hands lazily soothing the sting from the harsh lines he inflicted with his belt earlier.

“You good?” He managed to gasp, as he withdrew slightly.

Pulling out of you almost entirely, the tip of his dick teasing your entrance, you almost screamed at the loss of contact. “Don’t” You whimpered, your hands finding their way into his hair, gripping as if your life depended on it. You hooked a leg around his hips in a desperate attempt to bring him closer to you. Seeing it as a green light he didn’t waste a moment, he slammed back into you. Letting out a deep moan, you let yourself go, head thrown back as your whole body vibrated with pleasure.

“You’re moaning so loud everyone can hear you.” He pointed out as his hips thrust harder into you, the sound of your skin slapping together echoing through the corridor drowned out by your aunt’s boisterous laugh. The knowledge of Seokjin roughly fucking his dick into your wanton pussy as your family was just meters down the corridor made you quiver, and despite the dirtiness of your action, you found yourself more and more aroused, the coil in your stomach tightening once more.

Feeling your muscles contract harder around him, Jin smirked. “Look how much you want this, your family could walk out of that room and stumble across us at any time, and you're drinking me in, thirsty for my dick.” His animalistic growl only served to spur you on as you clung onto him, the leg hooked around him bringing him in closer.

The feel of him stretching you out, his hands bruising your thighs as he pounded into you relentlessly paired with the sensitivity of your earlier orgasm made it easy for your senses to go into overdrive. With no warning, as he slammed himself into you, you felt the familiar clench of your cunt around him as you came for a second time.

“Good girl, you’re so sensitive.” He whispered, his lips ghosting over your skin before he bit down once more making you almost howl out. He was doing his best to drag out your orgasm as he stilled, his cock nestled in you enjoying the feel of your contracting around him. His fingers easily found the swollen clit and as soon as he touched you, your hips bucked violently. “I’m not going to let you stop anytime soon Y/N.” His words spurred you on and you smirked as you clenched around him making him hiss.

“Naughty girl. Alright, if this is how you want to play.” His voice sounded like a warning and before you could react he pinned you to the wall, his fingers digging deep into your flesh, his dick buried deep inside of you as he pounded relentlessly into you. The sounds of your ragged breathing intermixing with the sounds of your skin slapping together and your whimpers as he chased after his own release resounded through the corridor. You didn’t know how long you had been at it or if the dinner had finished and you found it hard to care. The only thought that consumed you was Seokjin and his deep thrusts, his soft moans echoing in your ear as he came, his cum spilling deep inside of you.

As he had promised he had managed to fuck you until you couldn’t walk, and as he slowed down you took the moment to steady your own ragged breathing. The soft deep chuckle that escaped through his lips hit the side of your neck making you shiver.

“Let's see how dirty you can be.” He took a step back from you, allowing your trembling leg to touch the floor once more. Your thoroughly fucked form almost slid down the wall, your knees too weak to support you. The sight of him in all his glory, still clothed except for his trousers spurred you on, and without a second thought you pulled him by the hooks towards you, your hand wrapping around his member without a second thought. Palming him for a second, enjoying the slickness of the both of you left on his dick you took a deep breath in as you slid him inside your mouth.

Without missing a beat you swirl your tongue around his member, his ragged breaths spurring you on. You bobbed your head taking in as much as you could of him before wrapping your hand around the base of his dick and gently massaging the area where your mouth couldn’t reach.

“Ahhh, you’re taking me in so well baby.” Jin praised you, and you felt the warmth of pride swelling up in your chest. You liked pleasing him, you wanted to please him.

With a few long licks to the underside of his dick and a few pumps of your hand you made sure he was clean before letting him go. Staring up at him, your hair a tangled mess and your lips swollen and red glistening with your saliva and both of your juices you smiled at him.

Jin glanced down at you, your thoroughly fucked look, and the small smile you gave him, were enough for him, and with a careful grip he pulled you in to him giving you a long hard kiss.

“Let’s move this to your bedroom, shall we? I’m not done yet.”

======

When you woke up, your mind in a blissful daze, the orgasms even though a memory they were still coursing through you; you didn’t dare open your eyes. Stretching out languidly, you let out a small moan as your hand made contact with the pillow Seokjin used previously. The heat and smell were still lingering in the air along with the smell of sex and you made a mental note to open the window. Cracking an eye open, your brows furrowed, trying to adjust to the brightness in your room, you looked around.

You would be lying if you said it didn’t sting, the lack of a second body in your bed or even your room. But you should have expected that, he was your brother’s best friend and somewhat still (but not really) your teacher. You had sex; it may have been mind-blowing, the thought of you being submissive under his touch caused you to let out a guttural moan, but what you have done was entirely forbidden. Or close to it anyway.

Gathering your wits, you formulated a plan of avoidance in your head. Surely, the day after Thanksgiving was a day where everyone slept in or laid around the house in hopes of digesting the earlier feast. You could use this opportunity to grab a quick much needed caffeine fix and go on a long walk with your own hopes of digesting what had transpired the night before.

Walking down the corridor, everything basked in silence, the echoes of the laughter from last night bouncing around your eardrums mixing with the sounds of your moans as you let yourself go under Jin’s skillful hands made you realise that once again, this corridor marked a change in your life. For better or for worse you had yet to decide. But as you entered the kitchen and met eyes with your brother you faltered. He was slumped against the counter, nursing a cup of coffee in his hands, and his look of disapproval told you he knew. You didn’t know how you knew that but he was your brother, you grew up together, you both knew each other like the back of your hand. You trusted him with your life. And when he shook his head at you and sighed, already having come to terms with your actions, and greeted you – you trusted him. But then break your heart.

“He’s left. And he’s not going to be invited back.”

======

The hustle and bustle of a hospital in the early morning was something that you had grown to love over the past two years. Sure, it was not always such fun and games. Most times the fuss around you did not mean anything to be joyful of. Most of the time it meant that people were under pressure, stressed to get their work done and help lives that waited to be saved. But you were in the thick of it, and you were doing the best you could. Studying for hours on end at university, late nights and too many coffees managed to get you here. That was something you were proud of, and walking in early mornings knowing that you belonged there - there was no better feeling in the world.

It had been a journey. Junior doctors were not the highest regarded people; in the beginning the only allies you made were a few of the nurses. None of the doctors were keen on the new starters, nor were they kind when giving you evening and emergency shifts. But you managed through it all. Now two years in, you felt like you finally belonged.

“Good morning Y/N, you have your list in the break room.” Rhia, a good friend of yours greeted you as soon as you rushed into the lobby. All dressed and ready to go, you hurriedly tried to slide your lanyard around your neck one handedly.

“‘Mornin’ Rhi!” You smiled at her in thanks before carrying on down the corridor towards the break room where you knew a long list of duties awaited you next to a steaming coffee. You were grateful for Rhia. Since you’d arrived, she was the first one to make you feel welcome; greeting you each morning and having lunchtime chats whenever lunchtime didn’t consist of a hurried bite to stave off hunger.

You hurriedly rushed around trying to get your caffeine fix, your eyes skimming over the schedule you had for the day and the patients that were first to be seen. Humming to yourself you saw a name that made you smile, Jia, the fourteen year old girl who managed to single handedly make you wish you had children to dote on. She suffered from epileptic crisis every now and then. Despite the medication, she seemed to still have some violent episodes from time to time. You noted she was the third one on your list that day as she was to be discharged before noon, and you made it a point to visit her first, the album you stashed into your purse to gift her this morning couldn’t wait.

Sighing you honed in on the first task of the day, the dreaded morning changeover meeting. Luckily this was routine and because of it no one was awake enough to feel the need to speak. The night shift people would normally doze off in their chairs and the morning takeover would be too preoccupied with the thought of spending the next twelve or so hours in the same environment. Only the head of your department would speak, giving you a brief handover of what had happened the previous night. And so with the flashy album hidden in your scrubs and the steaming cup of coffee in your hand, you hastily made your way to the meeting praying the day would be over even before it had begun.

=======

“For now, we will have a change, since the rotational changes have already been set, we will be welcoming a few new specialists.” The head nurse announced, and you glanced up from your coffee interested in the turn of events. You were not told this was going to happen, and if what she was saying was right, it affected you as much as it affected everyone else. Unless the Neurology department had been completely overlooked.

“Y/N, you’re still on the night shift tonight right?” Rhia whispered to you and you glanced at her nodding in acknowledgment.

“Yes, I'm on a long one today.” You sighed, you never enjoyed long shifts, but they felt satisfying when you clocked out for the day knowing that you’ve given your best for a whole day - that or the idea that you would be going home and sleeping for the next day. Regardless, you had no choice, you were scheduled for long shifts at least once a week, some weeks you would have to brave two or three long shifts with less time off between them. It was what being a junior doctor meant and you had to take it. It really depended on what your supervisor required of you. Until now you’ve been somewhat lucky that you only had doctors who required your assistance less than others and so even if you were on shift, you had time to rest in between patient visits before jumping in once more.

“Oh, that means you will get to meet the new neurosurgeon assigned to the ward!” Rhia’s excitement made you smile, she was always a happy person. No matter how long her hours may have been, she never failed to grace everyone with a smile and a kind word. Her attitude was what kept you going during those long hours and you were more than grateful towards her.

Shrugging with indifference you couldn’t help but return her smile. “I guess, it’s not like there will be a massive change for any of us really. I am still waiting for the day we stop getting a middle aged, pompous, self important man walking in to start ordering us around; dumping all his responsibilities on us the little people.” Despite your chuckle your voice sounded bitter and Rhia offered you a sympathetic smile and a pat on the back.

“You never know, this may be a good change.”

======

When afternoon rolled in you were more than ready to pass out in a chair in the breakroom. The patients that were left for the day were not difficult cases, however, they were a large number and a lot of them needed discharge papers to be filled in. You also hadn't had the chance to see off Jia, a different junior discharged her as you were called to see an emergency. As the night shift doctor, you had the pleasure of going around doing the last checks for the day making note of whoever needed to be given the discharge papers the next morning. Rhia had left earlier, but not before ensuring to remind you of the new addition to the team that was supposed to be arriving for the late night that day.

“Please make sure to tell me everything!” She gushed as she put her coat over her day to day clothes, her scrubs stashed neatly in her locker. You looked at her longingly, wishing you could be doing the same, but the clock on the wall definitely told you you were not even halfway through your shift.

“Rhia, I have other things to do than think about the new doctor. I may be so busy that I won't get a chance to interact at all with them. Besides, if any of the departments share animosity, it's the general Neurology Recovery ward and the Neurosurgery one.” You gave her a pointed look when she seemed to want to rebuff you. “Don’t give me that look, you know it’s true. No matter what, there always seems to be a problem.” You sighed as you got up and gave her one last parting hug. “Doesn’t matter, I will see you sometime tomorrow hopefully I am still standing on my feet. Tell Taehyung I said hi.” You mumbled suddenly hit with a pang of sadness as you thought about your best friend.

You hadn’t seen him in a few months, the two of you were separated as you moved departments during your specialty training. For a while you weren’t even in the same city, and after months of not having any contact but phone calls you started feeling his absence. No more late night movies, no more late night snacks and definitely no more talks about stupid instances you both witnessed in hospital. Until one night when he excitedly called you to tell you he was moving to the city where you were based. You immediately offered him a place to crash until he found his own. He politely refused you and you were prepared to feel the separation of a longstanding friendship, but then he told you that he had already sorted it out and that he had someone he wanted to introduce to you - he was proudly dating and he wanted you to meet her. The look of surprise on your face when it turned out to be your only friend within the hospital was so priceless that even now Taehyung wouldn’t let you live it down. Him and Rhia had not only been dating for a while now, but they’ve also been planning to live together. The happiness that overtook you when he told you the news had been only slightly overshadowed by memories of the past, memories that you weren’t too keen on digging out.

“Will do. Take care of yourself and don’t stress out too much today.” She patted your back one last time before she exited the click of the door signalling you’ve been left alone in the room. Sighing to yourself, you knew you couldn’t stall for longer. As you turned around ready to exit after Rhia, the door opened to reveal a familiar figure that had always managed to stop you dead in your tracks.

“And these are the lockers- oh, Y/N.” The head nurse stopped a second away before crashing into you. You paid her no mind though, your eyes fixed on the person following close behind her

“Seo-Seokjin.” You muttered, your heart in your throat. You felt yourself freeze on spot, the waves of anxiety washing over you like a cold shower. You would’ve never thought you’d get to see him again, and you were certain that even now, he was not real and just a figment of your imagination. He looked too surreal to be there, standing behind the head nurse staring at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Miss. Y/N. Would you mind stepping aside?” The head nurse, an elderly lady whom you’ve barely spoken to, asked in a clipped tone. Breaking out of your trance you felt yourself move, unsure of whether it was your own subconscious that urged your body to do so or the head nurse herself.

You wanted him to acknowledge you, to say something. But as he passed by your frozen form, all you could feel was the chill of the air between the two of you.

======

The sound of your pager going off interrupted your trail of thought, and you couldn’t have been happier. You got stuck once more thinking about the past. To your dismay, you’d seemed to do that more and more recently. You couldn’t tell if it was because of Seokjin’s reappearance in your life or if it was because lately you seemed to have been called on more and more night shifts, and the lack of sleep was getting to you. Regardless of the reason, your emotional state was at an all time high and the more time passed the more you struggled to function without having thought of the past at least once.

Taking a glance at the pager you flew out of your seat and rushed out of the break room. No one spared you a glance- they all heard the pager and like Pavlov’s dog, you were all conditioned to assume that being paged meant an emergency.

The rush and adrenaline you felt every time you got paged would mostly be overshadowed by thoughts of what could have possibly gone wrong. Everyone knew where everyone was and so when you were on a break you wouldn’t have to worry too much about being called in unless it was an emergency.

Without minding the people brushing past you as you forced your legs towards the ER department wondering whether or not you could get there faster if you cut through the main corridor. Deciding against it, you swiftly swiped your card onto the door almost bumping into the nurses turning the corner. Apologising you carried on towards the nurses station.

“What are we looking at?” You asked as you rushed towards the desk, your hand ready to be handed the file. The elder nurse didn’t question your rush, already knowing what you were looking for and without a second thought she handed you the documents.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N.” She added empathetically however, you were too stuck on adrenaline to notice the pitiful look she was throwing your way. Hastily opening the document you felt yourself freeze midstep, dread filling your gut. At the top of the page where the patient’s name was cleanly typed out, stood the one name you wished had never ended up in your hands outside of a routine checkup.

“What is Jia’s–?” You couldn’t form the words, the rush of the blood to your head making your ears roar.

“She had a relapse.” The simple information was enough to make your stomach clench as if someone had decided to grip it with all their strength and twist it. “She’s stable now but she may need to be restrained.” The words felt like a bucket of ice fallen on top of your head. The CD that you still had packed in your pocket felt heavy. Thumbing with the edge of the chart you bit your lip.

“I’ll go see her.” You nodded determined to get to your patient. You were paged for a reason after all. Even though this may be the one instance when you wish you weren’t a doctor to begin with.

“You’re needed.” The nurse nodded in acknowledgement and you bolted towards the room specified in the file not waiting for her to say anything more.

Approaching the glass doors, you could clearly see the form of the girl sitting in bed, eyes closed and attached to machines and you felt the tears gather in your eyes at the sight. The hand in your pocket gripped at the hard material of the CD and you could feel how raw your lips were becoming from having been bitten with force. She looked tired as she smiled weakly at one of the nurses fretting around her bed and you couldn’t help the tears that escaped at the sight.

“What are you doing here?” A voice that you would’ve remembered even in your sleep spoke from behind you. Not turning around, sensing the chill once again in between the two of you, you only shrugged helplessly.

“She’s my patient.” You simply supplied doing your best to keep your attention on the frail girl now lying on the bed fast asleep. “I had to come and see her.”

“She’s not your concern anymore. She’s in need of treatment, not care.” Jin’s voice sounded like an order and you couldn’t help the anger rising in you at his words. Swiftly turning around on your heels you narrowed your eyes at him.

“She’s my patient.” You emphasised, trying to not let yourself get affected by his relaxed stance. He looked intimidating, a reminiscent air of his teaching persona lingering like an unpleasant smell.

“Regardless, she is way beyond your knowledge now, Y/N.” Jin straightened up, his height adding to the weight of his words. Feeling small and weak you allowed yourself to take a step back, your eyes flitting towards the unconscious girl once again.

“What does knowledge have to do with feelings, Seokjin?” You whispered as you gave him one more desperate look, turning around on your heels and hurriedly making your escape. You couldn’t tell what hurt the most. The CD in your pocket burnt a whole in your mind; a reminder of the girl who needed you or the gaze of the man who held your feelings; a reminder of the past that haunted you.

======

You were torn, as the almost argument you had with Jin chipped at you. He was right, there wasn’t anything that you could do. It was way beyond your power and knowledge. Ignorantly trying to offer her comfort wouldn’t solve any of her troubles and you knew that. Groaning you let yourself slump into your seat, a headache already forming behind your eyes. Wrecking your brain for solutions for the past couple of hours didn’t do you any good – you weren’t any closer to an answer.

“But what can you do, there aren’t any good enough approved treatments for such a thing at the moment.” Su, one of the Neurologists passed by dropping her used coffee cup in the sink. You felt a nagging at the back of your head, as if there was an old memory there waiting to be jogged. What was–?

“ElectroTherapy!” You yelled out of the blue, remembering you read a few cases recently of successful treatments.

“A- what?” one of your fellow juniors asked you, completely baffled at your outburst.

Idea fresh in your mind, and without hesitation, you ran towards the Neurology department.

Not sparing anyone a glance as you rushed towards the consultation room that you knew all too well to belong to someone you had managed to avoid until then. Unfortunately given the circumstances, you needed him and you were ready to look past any unfortunate previous encounters if it only meant that your long term patient had a chance at a normal life outside of the hospital.

“Jin.” You didn’t bother knocking, knowing that if you gave yourself time to overthink this, you’d crack under pressure and turn back around on your heels. The man in question sat at his desk, his eyes locked onto his computer before he glanced at you, an unimpressed look on his face.

“Doctor.” He simply reminded you, the calm tone of his voice making you feel more chastised than if he’d actually told you off for being too familiar with him.

“Doctor.” You stressed out, already feeling the end of your patience tested out. Reminding yourself of where you were and what you needed, you decided to put your uncertainty aside. “I need your help.”

Jin, whose eyes only spared you a brief glance when you came through the door, stopped and turned to glance at you, an eyebrow raised. “With?”

“I need to bring up the possibility of having ECT for Jia’s treatment.” Your rushed unfiltered words were met with complete silence and you stopped abruptly, shifting on the balls of your feet.

“It’s not something you should be discussing with me.” Jin simply responded after a few gruesome seconds of having stared at you.

“I’m only a junior doctor! Not even a specialist!” You countered tasting the aggravation behind your words.

“You can’t hide behind your junior status for much longer Y/N. What will you do when you become a doctor - a specialist, and you have to go through something similar? Who will you fall back onto?” Seokjin pointed out, and the weight of his words hit you like a freight train. Eyes widened, you felt the harsh reality wash over you. You stared at him, unable to argue, once again proving his point. You were mostly talk and no bite, but he didn’t need to know that.

“I am not a specialist yet, and I do require your support in this!” You argued, your voice softer than you’d intended. “I can’t stand in front of the whole board and present this! Who would even listen to me?” You sounded desperate and you were aware of the pathetic display you presented. But you needed his support and back up.

“Find me the evidence, and then we can talk.” His impassive tone almost made you shift again on the balls of your feet, but you reminded yourself you needed to stay strong in your resolve. If you couldn’t stand his scrutiny, how would you be able to stand the boards’?

“Fine.” You conceded, ignoring the voice at the back of your mind telling you that Seokjin wasn’t the board. He was the man that had haunted your dreams and thoughts for years. And he hadn’t presented you with a straight up refusal.

======

It took you a couple of gruesome days, the knowledge that time was crucial pressing on you to look for the appropriate resources to present to the board. You knew you couldn’t push the meeting date even if you wanted to, so you did your best to gather as much information as you could. When you weren’t with patients you would spend every waking moment compiling a list of papers that discussed the treatment.

You knew you were treading on thin ice and you needed to be careful. It was not only a dangerous procedure, but you needed to make sure that the success rate was enough to be worth the risk.

“Y/N, please take a break, you look as bad as the next student about to take an exam.” Rhia walked in the breakroom, which over the past few days had become your office. It was not the first time she walked in to see you pouring over the stacks of papers, your open laptop at your side. It was a bittersweet memory, being a student, and you found yourself almost getting lost in the thought.

“Thanks.” You could only mumble when the liquidy coffee was set on your table, your friend tutting at your zombie like state.

“Seriously, if you don’t take it easy I will have to tell someone, and I am sure that Seokjin won’t take the news nicely.” She teased.

These were the days when you wished her and Taehyung were not dating. Ever since telling Taehyung the news of Seokjin being the newly hired neurosurgeon, all you would hear is teasing and retelling of memories from your time as students. He was keen on coming to visit, if only to sing his high praises to Seokjin once more. You were glad you missed out the part where you slept with him right after your exams, you were sure Taehyung would have fainted on the spot at the news.

“Rhia, this is serious. It’s not a mock patient, it's an actual patient that needs treatment. And this,” you pointed at the stash of studies scattered around you. "Might be her last chance.”

Rhia regarded you somberly, she knew how much you cared about your patients and how much you wanted this to go well. With a determined nod she took your laptop away from you and sat down completely ignoring your disapproving looks.

“Tell me what you need me to look at.” She smiled at you and you couldn’t help but smile back, the weight on your shoulders seemingly less heavy than it was a moment ago. Nodding your thanks you explained in detail what you needed.

Knowing that you had her support and help did alleviate some of your worries, however, when the time came for you to present the case in front of everyone, you knew it would be just you and the sharks. And you needed to stand on your own. Seokjin was right, you couldn’t hide behind the status of being a junior doctor anymore, you needed to stand up for yourself.

======

You were confident in your findings, the written script for your presentation tightly stashed underneath your arm as you made your way towards the meeting, your self assured walk doing little to calm your nerves.

“You’ll be ok.” Taehyung’s voice coming through the other side of the receiver made you stop briefly in the middle of the corridor.

“I hope so.” You couldn’t help but sigh, your shoulders dropping low out of sheer exhaustion and added stress. “What if I blow it though?” You voiced your thoughts, knowing that if there was ever someone who could calm your nerves within a heartbeat that would be Taehyung.

“Y/N you offered to beat up a group of three boys at least five years older than us back in preschool just because they called my hair funny.” Taehyung reminded you, traces of laughter present in his voice. “There is no way you can’t do this now.” You couldn’t help but smile in fondness at the memory. He was right, you’ve always been one to try and tackle bigger things, and this time it may be your biggest yet.

“You’re right.” Feeling a bit more confident, you stood up straighter, your feet picking up pace once more.

“Smash it, Tiger. And after, Rhia and I will take you out for a good ol’ celebration.” Taehyung laughed as you made a sound of disgust.

“No thanks, I'll just celebrate on my own.” You countered a small smile on your face. Coming up to the white door of the meeting room your steps slowed to a halt. “I need to go. Tae…” You sniffed, the emotions coursing through you making you wish that you had him next to you for comfort. “Thank you.” But Jin was right – you needed to do this on your own.

Putting your phone back into your pocket, you glanced at the door once more before taking a deep breath in hands hovering above the handle.

The unexpected appearance of a second hand settling above your own made you jump, your body tense. You didn’t need to glance behind to figure out whose hand it belonged to. The warmth seeping through you felt familiar, a warmth you’d felt only a few times, but was already engraved in your nerves’ memory.

“What are you doing?” You hissed trying to pull your hand away from underneath his. The silence in the corridor was a strange feeling to you, never having experienced a time when there wasn’t an emergency situation that forced everyone to scuttle around the grounds of the hospital. You didn’t want to turn around to look at Jin, but when he said nothing in response you couldn’t help but shuffle in an attempt to look at him.

The coldness of his actions towards you completely contrasted the warmth of his gaze. A warmth that reflected the one currently settled over your own hand. You may have looked like a deer caught in headlights which prompted him to offer you a last ounce of familiar comfort yet, his gaze spoke of more than reassurance. It spoke of trust.

For a brief second, you felt your heart stutter in your chest. You knew he wouldn’t say anything to you directly, but this comfortable silence spoke volumes. With a small nod of your head you softly inhaled– an attempt to get your heartbeat back on its track.

Not waiting for another signal, Jin’s hand pushed on yours, the handle giving way under both of your weights, and the door opened. The murmurs in the room stopped at the sound, and you briefly took in the faces lined up. Big names that you’d only heard whispered in the corridors, and portraits displayed along with their achievements. All this was enough to get you into motion. These people had the power to decide. It was time to do this. For Jia and all the music she wanted to have a chance to listen to.

=======

As you finished, it felt as if the room came back into focus. You could feel your heartbeat pounding in your chest, your eyes focused clearly once more on the faces around you. Breath abate, your gaze flickered between the sombre faces, waiting for a sign – anything that could give away the outcome of your hard work.

“Thank you for the enlightening presentation Miss Y/N. We will now consider your proposition. The favour looks to be on your side and the treatment shall go ahead.” The director leaned in, his glasses glinting in the artificial lights shining above you. “Unless–“ he glanced around the room. “Someone has something else to add.”

You didn’t know what to expect, but it was certainly not Seokjin’s hurried upheaval from his chair, hands on the tabletop.

“I think this is dangerous. There is a reason why it’s still not approved here. Ethically–“ he started and you felt your heart crumble in your chest. You never thought that one day you would stand against the man that shaped your past in more ways than once. It stung to know that he would so readily stand up against you, even after you’ve pleaded your case. Narrowing your eyes at him, you let out a quiet exhale. But you would rather fight him in favour of the treatment, if it meant that Jia got a chance at being happy.

“We will take that into consideration as well, Dr. Kim.” An older board member smiled pacifyingly at him signalling for Jin to sit back down. “Sometimes you have to accept that the good outweighs the bad.” He gave Jin a knowing smile before settling his attention onto you.

“And whether or not the good is worth it.”

======

“Seokjin.” Your voice was more demanding than a junior doctor’s should have been towards a senior, but the disappointment you witnessed in his eyes as the board voted made you feel meek. You should’ve been happy for your win –your hard work had paid off. Yet, it only took one look from him to make you feel insignificant and that was a feeling you couldn’t stand. “Why?” Stopping in the middle of the corridor you hugged your midriff, as if you were attempting to protect yourself from the negative feelings washing over you with such force it made you feel breathless.

At the tone of your voice Seokjin stopped abruptly and spun around on his heels to face you. You’d won your case, yet he hadn’t seen you look so defeated before. The shy, almost reticent look you were throwing at him made his heart clench. He knew he was harsh earlier but he expected better from you. He wanted you to stand your ground on your own, you were strong.He knew that– but did you? Sighing he made his way back towards you, the words already making their way past his defences.

“I expect my junior doctors to hold their case, argue passionately for it, then stay on my side.” He looked at you impassively, yet his words told you it was anything but. His voice was loud and clear, and it sounded clipped to your ears. You briefly glanced at the people milling around the corridor, paying you no heed. It wasn’t something uncommon to see two doctors arguing in the corridor about one thing or another, and the thought made you horrified.

“Even when you’re wrong?” You looked back at him, your eyes narrowed in an unspoken challenge.

Seokjin regarded you for a moment, as if he was contemplating whether or not you were worth the response. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” The finality in his voice made you falter in your step, as he carried on walking down the corridor. The sight of him leaving you behind made your heart clench. Paired with being chastised by him earlier in the meeting, your confidence dwindled down to almost nothing.

But you had to remember you were not a student anymore. You were not naive and you certainly wouldn’t allow him to walk all over you as he did before. He may have not cared about you, but you still did, and you wouldn’t let him treat you in such a manner. Running after him, determined to give him a piece of your mind, you grabbed his hand as soon as you reached him. Not thinking about the consequences, you pulled him into the nearest storage room you spied. Ignoring all protest from the older man, you turned on the light and closed the door behind you, not wanting to continue the conversation out in the open. It was your turn to speak out and his to listen.

“Y/N, what in the– what do you think anyone would say if they noticed this; a junior doctor and a doctor stashed away in a–a storage room?” Seokjin gestured at the stacks of clinical robes and dressings, along with some cleaning products surrounding you.

“Seokjin.” You warned him, voice clipped and lips pursed. He was going too far, and regardless of your status there was no need for him to step on you the way he just did. You did your best to ignore the pang of hurt that still echoed through you at his words from earlier. Being called incompetent by a doctor was nothing new, you’ve experienced this more than once. Being called incompetent by a doctor that you not only admired, but also thought you could trust, and in the middle of a board meeting- it stung. And you were not ready to face that.

“Why can you not trust me on this?” You carried on, pacing back and forth in the storeroom with the limited amount of space giving you little room to do so without brushing shoulders with him. “I proved that it may be a useful treatment!” You pointed at the papers still in your hand, hours of your free time poured into the research until you’ve finally compiled a case good enough to present to the board. You were proud of yourself, you managed to do in a week what most researchers have months of time to do. All because you wanted this patient to get better. All because you wanted her to be healthy and happy with her family.

“Y/N.” Seokjin’s voice was dark, deep, as if he was warning you to not overstep your boundaries. But you wouldn’t listen, not now. Not when someone’s well being was on the line.

“Don’t Y/N me, Seokjin.” You stopped abruptly, your eyes finding his. He looked dangerous, his intense gaze fixed on you, not blinking once and you found your heart faltering at the sight of him. He looked handsome, and you were almost transported back to the time that you had two years ago. “There are chances in this treatment! And we could do it easily! We are trained for this!” You carried on, refusing to let your feelings cloud your judgement. “She could have a chance at a good family life, if only you’d see past your old ways - how could you not want her to get better?” Your argument started out strong, your voice firm and decisive, but the realisation that he almost had this treatment scraped and the patient sent to a ward, you lost all fight. The helplessness that overtook you felt humiliating - you won the case, they allowed the treatment, but the knowledge that you couldn’t count on the one person you’d thought would have your back hurt. The hazy vision of his face and the sting of tears that threatened to escape made you finally break the intense stare game between the two of you. With a sigh you turned around to preserve the last bits of pride you had left.

“I have years of experience with these cases Y/N.” Seokjin finally spoke up, his calm demeanour only serving to aggravate you more. “This was not a safe route, and not a route you want to be taking in case anything goes wrong with the patient.” You felt the fire in you pick up intensity but you chose to stay silent allowing him to finish what he wanted to say.

“What would you say to the family if this went wrong and she has the treatment and she ends up paralysed for life?” He questioned and you finally turned around with your eyes narrowed. Taking a step closer towards him you pointed at the papers in your hands.

“The chances of that happening are lower than twenty percent Seokjin, that is a hell lot less than the chances of her not recovering if we don’t do something about it. What would you say to her family then? Would you tell them that she only has months left because you refused to try something that could save her life?” You hadn’t noticed how close you were getting to him, your need to prove your point overriding any other thought.

You may have not heeded the nearness between the two of you, but Jin did, and something in your fiery attitude towards him made it hard for him to resist the urge to grab you by the nape of your neck and kiss you senseless. You looked beautiful, in the white light shining from above you in the store room, your eyes gleaming with passion, passion for a job that he knew you would be damn good at, if only you’d just listen to him once in a while.

“Y/N, what you presented us with is an experimental treatment here, it hasn’t been approved yet, and if the patient does not consent to be part of the research, there is nothing we can do. Have you also thought of that? What about her best interests? She has the capacity to make decisions, and so if she decides she doesn’t want to go through with this, we have no choice but to listen.” He added, his argument making you falter. He was right, the patient could say no to this, and this was not a definite treatment, this would be research.

“But it could save her life!” You burst out, throwing your hands up in aggravation. “And you didn’t see her Seokjin, you-you didn't see…” You paused, your breath ragged as you remembered the previous day, when she decided she didn’t want to be intubated anymore, the burst of tears and the panic in her eyes when she realised that there was a chance she would not get better. It haunted you, it haunted you the night before, it haunted you now. And it certainly was the driving force for your presentation in the meeting earlier. You promised yourself you would not disappoint her and you would not let her down.

“You didn’t see the pain she was going through. She wants to get better.” You whispered, feeling drained all of a sudden. “Why are you running away from this?” You looked up at him, the moments of silence that followed your question felt like years. You probably shouldn’t have phrased it as such, your mind instantly going from the situation at hand to the past two years. Two years in which you had asked yourself the same question over and over again. Why did he leave?

His expression was unreadable and you tried to not think too much of it for the sake of your shattered heart. “Why are you not taking this chance?” You cleared your throat, hoping that he couldn’t read the hurt behind your words.

“I am not a coward Y/N.” Jin finally relented, his voice slightly softer than before and you looked up at him. He was not looking at you anymore, just like that time you spent on the floor in your childhood home, he seemed distant. “I know what I am doing, I have had years of doing this. And sometimes it’s better to play it safe than be sorry.”

His words pierced through you with the speed of a freight train and you couldn’t help but think he also had stopped thinking about the patient. Without thinking you hastily responded, grabbing this opportunity as your only chance to get answers from him. “Sometimes, it’s better to chance it, in case you do end up being sorry for not doing so.” You wanted to sound harsher than you did, but something in you broke and you felt a hot trail of tears finally making their way down your cheeks.

Seokjin didn’t dare face you, the pain he could hear in your voice was enough to make his own heart constrict, but he knew he couldn’t break his resolve. He couldn’t give away his reasons for keeping you at a distance after that night. He owed his friend that much, and he couldn’t risk it, now that both your jobs were also on the line. He just couldn’t-

“Sometimes it’s worth it.” You tried to play your last card, the desperation in your voice reaching levels that made him turn around to look at you.

He couldn’t help himself and with one one big breath in, he took the plunge and took that one last step towards you, breaching the barrier he set for himself. Grabbing you by the back of your neck he pulled you in, your yelp of surprise giving him free reign to press his lips to yours. He silently apologised to his friend as he brought you in closer, your form moulding along with his as the other hand wrapped around your waist bringing you flush against his body.

The intensity of the kiss left you breathless, his soft lips were pressed so tightly against yours you felt the bruising already, the blood rushing to your face. This situation felt so familiar yet so distant. You had been here before, but the feelings that the both of you were conveying in this one kiss were unfamiliar. It felt more intimate than before, as if the two of you have grown closer in the past few years you hadn’t spoken. To you, the searing kiss transposed the hidden affection the both of you had been harbouring for each other for so long. For those few moments that your body completed his, you allowed yourself to forget the hurt that kept you closed off for so long.

Seokjin felt it, the shift in the atmosphere between the two of you. Your body relaxing and your lips against his returning his attention fervently allowed him to grip you as close as possible to him. His hands travelled down your body, committing every piece of you to memory in such a gentle way you couldn’t help but groan in pleasure.

Despite his earlier indifference, an act which hurt you beyond belief, you found yourself giving in to the familiar feel of him. The palms of his hands caressing you the way he was made every inch of you burn with arousal, so when you felt his cold hands underneath the top of your scrubs reaching into your trousers you allowed him.

Hastily undoing his zip, you didn’t waste a second in palming his clothed dick, the hitch in his breath making you smile. He may have led in the boardroom and the bedroom but now it was your time to show him who would be taking the lead. Not wasting time you dropped to your knees and quickly pulled down his underwear. As soon as his member sprung free you sucked him straight into your mouth, not giving him any room to complain.

Seokjin fought down a growl, the wetness of your mouth and the tightness of your hollowed cheeks swallowing him were enough to make his hips buck. Moaning out your name, he fought the urge to grab you by the hair and push himself deeper into your mouth. He would let you do it on your own terms, he wanted you to do it on your own terms.

You moaned at the taste of him and something struck a familiar chord within you. The memory of the last night you spent together fresh in your mind. Not thinking about anything but the feel of him in your mouth you gripped the base of his dick as you dragged your tongue along his length making sure to cover every inch of him in your saliva.

“Mmmm, Y/N.” Seokjin tried to be quiet, the thought of being in a storage room at work with his dick firmly lodged in your mouth and the door unlocked made him shiver. He couldn’t help himself. There was something dirty yet familiar about the situation, and with a jerk of his hips, he thrust himself further inside your mouth.

Moaning in displeasure at the sudden movement you gripped the base of his cock tighter, a warning that he was not allowed to move, this time it was your turn to do whatever you wanted.

The tight grip you had on him made him pause with a sharp inhale, he knew that he was treading on thin waters. “Y/N.” He softly pleaded. He would have found it amusing how the tables have turned if not for the small smirk you threw his way. The sight of you smirking up at him on your knees, hair disheveled from his hands, his cock at the mercy of your palm had him quiver. That was a sight he wanted to commit to memory, certain that it would stay engraved for a long time.

The chilly air of the storage room did nothing to deter the pure hot pleasure you got in knowing that Seokjin was at your mercy now. The adrenaline still pumping through your veins from having stood in the middle of the meeting arguing your case, combined with the heated conversation you and Jin had just shared were enough to spur you on. Pursing your lips you delivered a soft kiss to the top of his dick, your tongue barely peeking out gently teasing the tip.

“It’s my turn to make you squirm for me Kim Seokjin.” Your hand pumped him a few times for validation of your words, earning you a deep guttural moan coming straight from deep within.

Not being able to withstand the teasing any longer he bent down unexpectedly, his dick sliding out of your mouth yet still gripped firmly in your hands. The cold chill made him shiver.

“Enough, Y/N.” He growled at you pulling you up until your lips were once more connected together. The hands that gripped your shoulders a second earlier slowly made their way into your trousers, and he immediately found you clit.

“You’re already wet and ready. Does being this dominant make you hot Y/N?” Jin pushed his hand further into your scrubs, the loose material allowing him to do so easily. You couldn’t help but squirm as his fingers slid back and forth in between your folds, not paying particular attention to any spot.

“Jin please.” You all but pleaded. You knew you didn’t have time to have sex, and the chance of you getting caught in here was high. Hastily, your hand picked back up the rhythm as you used the slickness of your saliva as lubricant. You made sure to keep your grip steady as you paid particular attention to the head of his dick.

“It’s ok, Y/N. I’ll take care of you now.” Despite the clouded thoughts provoked by your hand paying attention to his cock, his finger never ceased their movement against your clit. The wide lazy circles kept you on the edge of an orgasm, edging you on yet it wasn’t nearly enough to bring you to its apex. You tangled your fingers in his hair, gripping at it burying your nose in his neck in an attempt to keep yourself grounded as he suddenly picked up his pace.

The silence outside of your own little bubble was not lost on you as you tried your best to muffle your moans, his name escaping through your lips at the same pace of his fingers drumming on your clit. Without warning, he changed tactics as his finger smoothly slipped through your folds, stretching you out.

“Fuck, Jin.” You lightly squeezed his dick in response, your hand increasing the speed. You couldn’t see the satisfied smile that took over his face, but you felt his response – a second finger following the first one, the scissoring motion reaching the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of you bringing you closer to your orgasm.

“That’s it, Y/N. Let it go.” He coaxed you, as he felt your hips bucking harder into his hand. It took all the concentration in him to focus on your need to come rather than on your hand on his hard dick, the motion of your fist pumping him making him feel dazed. “Should we come together?”

“Jin– I’m close.” You felt it, the white hot searing pleasure coursing through you, the fingers tangled in his hair pulling at his roots bringing him closer to you. “I’m going to–“ Not able to finish your trail of thoughts as his thumb angled to press hard on your clit. The combination of his two fingers pumping in you coated in your slickness, and the feel of your nub being pressed in such a way were quick to let your orgasm course through you, as you let go your teeth bite into his neck in an attempt to keep your moans at bay.

Through the hazy warmth of your orgasm taking over your brain, you pulled his lips to yours as the hand palming his dick increased speed once more, only stopping to pay attention to the head. He moaned into your mouth, his own impending orgasm washing over him as he let go all over your hand.

You broke the kiss as the familiar cathartic feeling after an orgasm took over you, you tried to get your thoughts back together.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” You sounded breathless and you tried with all your might to ignore the feeling of his hand still slotted in the hem of your pants caressing the skin.

Jin tried to step away from you, his better judgement telling him it was the wrong move to make. Yet your hand still wrapped around his member, the sticky wet feeling of his cum over himself and you, was making it difficult for him to agree with you. He didn’t allow you to pull away from him, his lips a breadth away from yours.

“Have dinner with me.” He proposed even though every cell in his body could count the reasons why it would be the wrong move.

You could have laughed. There you were, in a storage room with the man who left you for nothing. The man who refused to contact you during those two years, the man whose dick you still held in your hand. He was there, with you, his hand caressing you as if he would a lover, his lips having bruised yours just seconds before. He was there and he’d just asked you out to dinner. In the midst of it all, however, you found yourself unable to express the amusement that passed like a fleeting thought through your head. All you found yourself doing was readily agreeing to meet him the following night for dinner.

As you felt him step away from you, finally freeing you from his hold, his presence no longer stifling your thoughts - you couldn’t help but wonder if you’ve made a mistake. No matter what had transpired between the two of you during this period of time, you couldn’t deny that the intensity of your feelings for him haven’t changed.

======

You were a ball of nerves before the meeting, but that was nothing compared to this. Very much aware that it was the first time you and Jin were meeting up like this, planned and not accidental, made you as ecstatic as it unnerved you. Dinner was a whole new step between the two of you, and you were more than anxious to see where it would take you – if it took you anywhere.

The sight of his apartment complex, tall and unmoving, was only warmed up by the lights coming from the windows, a sign that people were in and enjoying their nights off. You knew you certainly appreciated having the evening off after a few gruesome weeks of work and research. Choosing to spend it like this was arguably not the most relaxing way you could have spent it, however you were just as hopeful about it as you were jittery.

Ringing the doorbell felt like a mammoth task to you, having taken the stairs up to Jin’s apartment gave you time to gather yourself together yet you could still feel the clamminess of your hands.

“Y/N, please come in.” Jin opened the door and you gaped at the vision of him. Standing tall and proud in a black shirt, hair off his forehead and sporting a pair of black rimmed glasses– he was looking incredibly handsome.

“Jin.” You finally managed to utter a greeting before you pointed at his glasses. “You’re wearing glasses? Since when?” You brushed past him as you entered, allowing yourself to cringe at the tone of your voice. The ball of nervousness in your stomach made you feel awkward, but Jin’s friendly and open smile as he took your coat did wonders in settling the butterflies in your stomach.

“Despite popular belief, my eyesight is not as good as it could be.” He shrugged nonchalantly, placing a hand on the small of your back guiding you in the right direction of his kitchen.

“Shock horror. As a neurosurgeon? Preposterous.” You couldn’t help but tease as you took in the kitchen covered in warm tones of brown and deep green. His apartment was not the biggest he could probably afford, but the knick knacks littered around the space made it feel homely. The smell of food wafted through the air and the still sizzling pans was nice background noise, comforting and welcoming.

“That smells amazing, what are you cooking?” You went to take a sneak peek at the stove, before warm hands settled themselves on your shoulder stopping you gently.

“No peeking, Y/N, it’s a surprise. Now please sit down.” He smiled warmly at you, and you couldn’t help the array of butterflies that made themselves known in your stomach. He looked so homey and warm that you were tempted to launch yourself into his embrace. This domestic scene felt so surreal to you that you were afraid if you blinked it may be gone in a split second.

You realised you were staring when the sound of something popping on the stove made you almost jump out of your skin. Jin was the first to break eye contact as he loudly cursed and rushed to fix the situation.

“Shit, I'm sorry! I promise I am actually a decent cook!” He hurriedly tied an apron around his waist as his back was turned towards you. His hands were preoccupied and despite the potential risk of the food having burnt or worse the apartment having caught on fire you found yourself smiling fondly at him. His broad back, the apron tied tightly around his waist paired with the black shirt and trousers he wore screamed at you to touch him.

So you did.

“Y/N what–?” He exclaimed, almost dropping the utensil in his hand.

“Jin–“ you started, the thoughts and worries plaguing your mind making it too hard to ignore. “Will it– be ok?” The uncertainty in your voice rang loud and clear throughout the apartment. Even though you weren’t going to bring up any of these sensible subjects, they have been weighing on your mind. You didn’t want to carry on as if nothing happened - you couldn’t. There were too many factors that dictated the direction in which this could go, and you didn’t want to be left behind without an explanation again. Not when you would be seeing him around you constantly whilst at work.

“I- We can only hope.” Jin didn’t hesitate to answer you, your tone of voice was enough to tell him this conversation needed to happen sooner rather than later. But he couldn't help but find himself short for words.

“Why are you trying to be brave?” You mumbled, your voice muffled by his shirt.

With a sigh, he put down everything and turned around forcing you to let him go. “I am not brave Y/N, I am being realistic.” Jin weakly smiled at you as he gently grabbed your hand and led you towards the barstool. “I do believe this will work, and despite my initial reticence, I do think you made a good argument for it earlier.” With a gentle caress of your wrist he let your hand drop as he sat himself down, his posture looking so defeated your heart hurt for him.

“Were you also being realistic after Thanksgiving?” You weren’t planning to steer the conversation in the direction of the past, yet the words tumbled out of your mouth. Jin’s sharp intake of breath made you hold yours, and for the second time, that night you felt your heart ready to beat out of your chest.

“I–“ he sighed, a frustrated pained expression falling over his face. Running a hand through his hair repeatedly, he leaned against the counter. “I promised Namjoon that I wouldn’t interfere.” His eyes finding yours he immediately went to add. “And I wasn’t!” Noticing your crestfallen face he corrected himself once again. “No– that is not what I meant.” His voice trailed off and despite the tumultuous feelings coursing through you, you reached out a hand for comfort.

“What did you mean then?” You softly inquired, not wanting to jump to any conclusions before he made himself clear.

“I– I was going to allow you to get through all of this.” He motioned around in an attempt to get you to understand what he meant. At your confused expression he sighed. “This, school, being a junior, finding your passion. I wanted you to go through all this without having to be tied down.” He explained and realisation dawned on you.

“Jin–“ you started but he continued, wanting to get his feelings out as quickly as possible.

“You don’t know how hard it is to make everything work when you have a job like this.” His gaze glossed over as if he was thinking of the past. “I wanted you to have a choice.”

“Why would you not allow me to have the options then?” You countered, the sympathy in your heart overruled by the anger at having lost so much time. “Why take away my options? How can I choose?” He fell silent and you deemed it appropriate to continue. “If it was my freedom of choice, how dare you take it away from me? Had you allowed me to, I know what I would have chosen a long time ago.” You softened your tone. You lost time, but there was no point in making it worse now.

Jin couldn’t reply to you, knowing that you were right, he took away that choice and because of that the both of you lost valuable time. “But Namjoon-” He tried to reason, his resolve weak. His friend may have been disappointed in him, but he was not your keeper either. He should have discussed all this with you instead of allowing external factors to interfere between the two of you.

Your gaze softened at his demeanour. “Is a grown up, and so are we.” You supplied without hesitation. You were suddenly overcome with a strong urge to touch him once again, your hands reaching out for his wrist pulling him up with you. “If you believe in me, then believe in us and our ability to make this work.” Looking up at him you barely had time to react as his head bent down allowing his lips to capture yours. His lips were soft as they moved along with yours, they pulled you in and stole your breath. The kiss was unlike any other you’ve had until then - this was a kiss that spoke of promises and feelings, not a kiss in the heat of the moment.

As you broke away from the kiss, nestled safely in his embrace, you took your time enjoying the feeling. His scent, his words and his being made you feel protected and for a split second you allowed yourself to lean on him with everything you had.

“It will all be alright.” You heard him whisper into your hair and you nodded unconvincingly. You could only hope.

======

You didn’t know where you and Jin were headed in your relationship, if you could even call it that. What you did know was that the uncertainty radiating through you at the moment was only fuelled by the knowledge that in a couple of hours you’d be sitting gazing through the surgery theatre whilst he administered treatment that you pushed for.

“Are you ready for today? It’s so exciting! Your case pushed through barriers!” It wasn’t the first time people assumed you were overly ecstatic about what was about to come. You’ve gone from congratulatory claps on the back to hugs to people telling you how important your win against the board was. How many cases would have a chance of being cured because of you.

You couldn’t have cared less.

You were happy, of course you were. A long standing patient would be getting the chance to live a good life. How could you not be happy?

The downside that kept grinding at your insides was entirely related to the man getting himself ready to perform said treatment. Jin’s unsure smile in your direction as he entered the lockers made your heart clench. All you wanted to do at that moment was run to him and hug him. Lend him the strength that he needed. Wistfully you gazed at the door that separated you from the man you cared for knowing that your job was done the moment you walked out of that meeting. You have fallen back again on seniority, Jin was right.

“Come on Y/N, time to go.” Rhia gently pushed you in the direction of the stairs, guiding you outside of the corridor. “We can’t be here and we also won’t get to see anything. And you’ve wanted to witness this since Jia got readmitted.” She reminded you and you absentmindedly nodded, helplessly throwing another look at the tightly shut door.

Feet heavy you dragged yourself towards the upper floors of the theatre where the viewing window would be. You felt breathless, as if you’ve run miles for hours on end, yet all you’ve done was pace the floors of the hospital, wringing your hands with anxiousness as thoughts about the procedure plagued your mind. You knew that if you were in such a state, Jin must be in a worse one. He’s a professional. You tried to remind yourself of this over and over again, but the slight uncertainty you noticed in his eyes when you brought up the subject over the course of the dinner made you doubt his confidence. He was a professional, a goddamn good neurosurgeon, but this was not a routine procedure – this was something he’d be trying for the first time.

“Actually–“ you stopped pulling your arm out of Rhia’s hold gently halting her along with you. “I think I will stay here.” You threw her a desperate look hoping she’d understand. You needed to be there.

“I get it.” Rhia smiled at you, throwing a glance at the door behind you. “It will be fine, don’t worry. Stay with your man.” She winked at you before she carried on her way. Her words barely registered through your worry muddled brain, but the heat enveloping your cheeks told a completely different story.

“He’s not my man.” You mumbled to no one in particular, the corridor that had once been filled with people curious to catch a glimpse of the man who would be saving the day now completely deserted. You didn’t know if it was the sudden stillness of the area or the knowledge that you were alone and no facade was needed, but you suddenly found your knees collapsing under you.

The rhythmic tick of the clock on the wall above you kept your heartbeat levelled and with one last look at the only physical object between you and Seokjin, you prepared yourself for a long wait.

======

The sound of the door opening made you jump up with no regards for your balance or the rush of blood that made you wobbly. Yelping you tried to catch your footing before you kissed the floor when two surprisingly warm hands wrapped around your forearms steadying you. You barely had time to glance up to catch sight of the soft features and plump lips of the man that you had fallen for, before he pulled you into his arms with a heavy sigh.

“It’s done.” Those words, spoken with such relief, brought the familiar sting of tears to your eyes. Allowing yourself a few brief moments of silence in his arms you gripped his scrubs tighter before you let go. Now that it was done, you felt your nervousness replaced by guilt, making it harder for you to look him in the eye.

“You did it.” You should’ve sounded happy, it should have been a big moment in your life, in his career. Yet, all that was circulating through your mind was how tired and defeated the man before you looked.

“I’m so sorry, I never should have pushed it. I don’t know what I was thinking.” You mumbled, eyes cast downward in an attempt to keep your tears at bay. You knew if you chanced a glance at him you would explode, the myriad of feelings coursing through you like a hurricane too strong to contain.

Jin couldn’t help but chuckle. You weren’t two parts of a whole–or maybe you were, yet you both knew that you were two independent individuals who would one day perhaps slot together in one mould made only for you. For now, you were like two magnets, you couldn’t help but gravitate towards the other and this force was all he needed to do anything in his power for you to look at him.

“You had this Y/N, you’ve always had it, and I will without a doubt carry on trying to push you, but I will always believe in you and your ability to get things done.” Jin’s warm smile left you breathless, the ecstatic expression he wore on his face making him look years younger. Despite the tough procedure he’d gone through, the hours he spent concentrating on the patient’s wellbeing and making sure that everything went off without a hitch, he reached out to you, his arms enveloping you in a strong embrace.

“Jin, you need to rest.” You complained, his compliments deepening the redness in your cheeks. Even though you were sending him to rest, you couldn’t help but bury your face in his warm chest, the comfort of his hug paired with the antiseptic smell of someone having been into a surgery theatre – it all brought comfort. It felt like home.

“Later, right now I just need your strength.” He mumbled as he buried his face in your hair, his arms bringing you closer to him than you thought possible.

“You’re impossible.” Your breathless chuckle vibrated through his tired form making him shudder. Regardless of how tired he felt, he wouldn’t miss a chance to be close to you –not now when you’ve both admitted your feelings for each other.

Jin’s response was to only squeeze you tighter to him, his chin resting now on the top of your head, a sigh of relief escaping past his lips. “It’s over.” You could feel the last strings of tension leaving his body as your hands fisted his scrubs, afraid he may collapse on you at any moment. “Silly woman.” Jin mumbled, his eyes shutting closed for a brief second. “Did you really have that little faith in me?” With tremendous effort he pulled away from you. Despite his chiding remark he was smiling down at you letting you know he was ok– you were ok.

“Shush.” You chuckled, the atmosphere becoming lighter than before. “I wasn’t the one who tried to make his student taste the glucose levels in a urine test, was I?” Your response garnered a deep groan from the man in front of you.

“That was one time! And no one believed me anyways!” He tried to defend himself as you stared at him amusedly, eyebrow quirked. “I’m tired, you can’t do this to me.” He whined as he wrapped his arm around you, steering you out of the room, and for a split second you wondered if you were dealing with an adult or a child. With Jin you’d never know and that was the beauty of it.

“Tell you a secret.” You whispered conspiratorially, leaning closer to him, as you passed through the people congratulating him on his success, your voice dropping an octave. “Taehyung tried it at home.”

“What?!”

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

#jin #kim seokjin #seokjin #bts #jin x reader #bts x reader #btshoneyhive #btsgoldnet #bangtanarmynet #btswritingcafe #bangtaninn #bangtansorciere #silverspoon #jin smut #seokjin x reader

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harrydracobang · 3 years ago

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Harry/Draco Big Bang 2021 MASTERLIST

This masterlist is the final round-up of the Harry/Draco Big Bang 2021. Please do check out the full list of all the works that posted as part of the fest below!

We hope you have enjoyed this fabulous fest and all the novel-length Drarry goodness and fantastic art that’s been produced as part of it. It’s never too late to leave comments and love on the works by any of our creators as we know keeping up with a Big Bang is a mammoth undertaking! THANK YOU to all of our participants for sharing your creations with us, THANK YOU to the readers and reccers who give people the boost to write in the first place, and THANK YOU to everyone who has helped hype, promote, proof, alpha read, beta read, brit pick, pinch hit or has in any way been involved in helping us bring this fest to life.

On that note, we’re going to go and have a cuppa. Much love.

Your Big Bang mods @writcraft and @gracerene09

Make Yourself written by @anyaelizabethfic with art by @zigster-ao3 [Explicit, 103k] Summary: Harry just wants to be safe within the freshly painted walls of Grimmauld Place, with his friends around him. But when he hears Draco Malfoy has been spotted at the local soup kitchen, he can’t help but encourage a different type of stray to come under his roof. -Zigster’s Tumblr Art Post 1 -Zigster’s Tumblr Art Post 2

sweeten to taste written by @bigblackdogfic with art by @babooshkart [Explicit, 51k] Summary: It starts with Draco’s buckwheat crepes with honeyed oranges. Or maybe it starts with his porridge with toasted walnuts and homemade apple butter. Or perhaps it starts with the cinnamon buns Draco made from scratch with mascarpone icing. Harry just knows he’s hungry for more. -Babooshkart’s Tumblr Art Post

Graceless Heart written by @orange-peony with art by @chuckalart and @secretartlair [Explicit, 132k] Summary: Harry is lost and broken after the war. He has gone to countless funerals, broken up with Ginny, moved back into Grimmauld Place—which feels darker and dirtier than ever before despite how much he tries to fix it. He feels lonely and desperate, but he won’t ask for help, and he still can’t cry.

When he agreed to help the Aurors at Malfoy Manor over the summer, he thought that he would be breaking dark curses. Harry never thought that he would actually spend his days sorting out dusty books with Draco Malfoy, or teaching him how to cook.

Little by little, as they begin to navigate their life post-war, Harry and Draco become intimate…in more ways than Harry could have ever expected. -Secretartlair’s AO3 Art Post -Secretartlair’s Tumblr Art Post

See How They Run written by @harryromper with art by @inveigler81 [Mature, 51k] Summary: Harry’s living above the shop in Knockturn Alley, working as a private detective after a failed stint as an Auror, when he gets an invitation from Luna Lovegood to the last place he could have imagined: Malfoy Manor.

As Luna and Draco’s friends gather for the weekend, it isn’t only memories of wartime violence that surface. It seems that a lot of the guests have things they want to hide, including murder.

It falls to Harry to solve the mystery, and while he’s at it, to untangle his feelings for Draco Malfoy once and for all. -Inveigler81′s Tumblr Art Post 1 -Inveigler81′s Tumblr Art Post 2

Brave Though The Stars They Make Me written by @dwell-the-brave with art by @puncertainty [Mature, 108k] Summary: After the events at the end of his Sixth Year, Draco Malfoy has been kept all but prisoner in his childhood home, Malfoy Manor. Alone, terrified, and desperate for some way out, he begins to have strange dreams - dreams of Harry Potter. Are they a trick of his mind? Or are they a way to change his fate, and a chance at redemption? -Puncertainty’s AO3 Art Post -Puncertainty’s Tumblr Art Post

Nor All That Glisters written by @sweet-s0rr0w with art by @deancebra-art and @fantalf [Explicit, 110k] Summary: Lonely and frustrated on house arrest, with no prospects for the future, Draco begins brewing Felix Felicis in an attempt to improve his lot. Just in the short term, of course. He isn’t a total idiot.

But before long he finds himself with a thriving business, a nice flat, some actual (albeit irritatingly Gryffindor) friends, and a very satisfying sex life. What’s more, no-one is hexing him in the street. And Harry Potter is single, and gorgeous, and giving Draco decidedly interested looks.

Stop taking the Felix? You must be joking… -Fantalf’s Tumblr Art Post

spins madly on written by asofthaven with art by @iaooa and Monotremata [Teen, 56k] Summary: As part of his probation, Draco Malfoy returns to Hogwarts to complete his N.E.W.T.s. Gobstones, the political machinations of the Hogwarts student body, and one Harry James Potter captures Draco’s attention instead. -Iaooa’s Tumblr Art Post

Chasing Shadows written by @manixzen with art by @avaeryn [Explicit, 93k] Summary: The murder of Lucius Malfoy seems impossible—no cause of death, no traces of spell-work, no potions in his system. The only leads Harry and his partner have are the trail of missing wizards the deeper they go. That and the help of the victim’s estranged son who now spends his time bartending at a queer-friendly Muggle pub.

A case fic featuring a closeted Harry Potter, an out-and-proud, tattooed Draco Malfoy, and a murder mystery that seems to lead to more questions than answers. -Avaeryn’s AO3 Art Post -Avaeryn’s Tumblr Art Post 1 -Avaeryn’s Tumblr Art Post 2

Home Truths written by @skeptiquewrites with art by @fantalf [Explicit, 67k] Summary: In the off-season Harry decided to fix up Grimmauld Place and found that Draco Malfoy was the only person who could help him. A demanding career and unrelenting press scrutiny were enough to deal with before Harry added a house with a mind of its own, family history, and a tense, flirty, complicated relationship with his childhood nemesis to the mix.

On professional Quidditch, magical houses, hard choices, Life Debts, and inconvenient truths. -Fantalf’s Tumblr Art Post

The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets written by @iero0 & @ladderofyears with art by @egggnoodles and @faevorite-main-blog [Explicit, 287k] Summary: Hogwarts is the very last place that Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy want to return to after the war. The Castle feels claustrophobic and stifling. Both feel trapped within its walls.

Harry is traumatised by the war, by his sudden breakup from Ginny, and by the knowledge that his friends all know what they want to do with their life.

Meanwhile Draco is reeling. He has narrowly escaped an Azkaban prison sentence and is struggling under the strict rules of his probation. He doesn’t know where his mother is, and finds himself a pariah among the other students.

The last thing that either student wants is mandatory Mind Healing. What has happened to them feels so big and devastating, that writing to a stranger feels farcical.

Even so, they are not given a choice.

Harry and Draco are both given a shared magical diary, and soon they begin writing letters to an anonymous fellow student.

Their letters, terse at first, grow longer as the days pass. Before long, each wizard confesses their secrets and their fantasies, their wishes and their dreams.

What will happen when their true identities are exposed? Will their vulnerable new relationship be destroyed before it has even begun? -Egggnoodles Tumblr Art Post -Faevorite’s Tumblr Art Post

A Sense of Scale written by @fantalf with art by @dragontamerdame [Mature, 71k] Summary: Potter merely shrugged, as if it was nothing. After all, it wasn’t his life’s work. “You can try to win it over.” Draco snapped, “What?!” “The school. Win it over.” “How the fuck do I win a school over, Potter?! It’s a bloody school, not a person!” And he didn’t win people over that easily, overall. “I don’t know. Use your charms. I know you to be very inventive.” —— In which Draco spends an obscene amount of time thinking of new nicknames for The Living Git, lying to himself and using his charms to seduce an extremely uncooperative sentient school. -Dragontamerdame’s Tumblr Art Post

Independent Art: Homage by @cambiodipolvere [General] Summary: A space between dangling feet, less than a foot.

Days Like This written by space_wingding with art by @fantalf [Explicit, 52k] Summary: Draco Malfoy is disgruntled at being overlooked for all the high-profile Auror assignments. He's on the brink of quitting his job when he's finally given a prestigious case: to keep Harry Potter safe. -Fantalf’s Tumblr Art Post

Bolts written by @lqtraintracks with art by @slytherco [Explicit, 115k] Summary: Harry joins the Hogwarts staff as the new History of Magic Professor, while Draco has already been teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts for the past year. When Samantha, a first year, is being bullied one day and throws a made-up Truth curse at her harasser, only to accidentally hit Harry instead, Harry becomes cursed to tell the truth, and not only that, he has to regularly tell it to Draco Malfoy. Samantha is clearly gifted, maybe the most powerful witch or wizard to ever come through Hogwarts, and yet she has no idea how to take the curse off. As they work to remove it—and also teach Samantha how to control a power that's becoming more dangerous by the day—will Harry's truths become too much to handle? And will whatever’s going on with Draco just make everything exponentially worse? -Slytherco’s AO3 Art Post -Slytherco’s Tumblr Art Post

Life On Mars written by @fencer-x with art by @secretartlair and Monotremata [Explicit, 110k] Summary: Harry Potter was eleven years old when he found out he was a wizard. He was twenty-one when he found out he was an alien. Or: How Harry Potter learned to stop worrying and love the democratic process. -Secretartlair’s AO3 Art Post -Secretartlair’s Tumblr Art Post

Game Changer written by @the-denial-squad with art by @thelanguidcat [Explicit, 63k] Summary: Malfoy gripped his hand tightly, using it to pull Harry towards him a step. “I never had you pegged for a sore loser, Potter.”

Once again, Harry felt that familiar anger twist in his chest, and a small part of his brain registered that it felt good.

“Obviously I know you better then,” he hissed. “I’ve always known you were an arrogant prick.”

A story of love and Quidditch, not necessarily in that order. -Thelanguidcat’s Tumblr Art Post

Among Ancient Pines written by @graymatters with art by @cambiodipolvere and @onlytheheartknows [Mature, 74k] Summary: Every day, Draco Malfoy tries. With every fiber of his being he tries. But he doesn’t much think about what he’s trying for.

In his final term of Healer training, Draco is unfortunate enough to find himself on a plane, the only means of traveling to a small, magical town in rural Alaska. Years of hard work have culminated in an opportunity to work with an experimental wandmaker to study the intersection of Healing and wand theory. When Draco arrives, he doesn't find the wandmaker, but does find his apprentice, who happens to have ridiculously messy hair, a lightning bolt scar, and a definitely-not-charming smile. But Draco isn’t going to let Harry Potter get in the way of him becoming a successful medical researcher, even if Potter is stubborn, hot-tempered, reckless, surprisingly gentle, has bizarre taste in music, and likes to leave his shirts unbuttoned. How hard could the next few months be?

A fic about challenging assumptions, discovering self-worth, the silver lining in failing to meet expectations, and finding friendship, love, and purpose in a small Alaskan town that’s steeped in magic. -Onlytheheartknows's AO3 Art Post -Onlytheheartknows's Tumblr Art Post

Let's Watch the Flowers Grow written by @orpheous87 with art by @luckynemesis and @peachbabypie [Mature, 75k] Summary: Harry is the last one of his group of friends that is single. He's happy, but his friends & family worry for him and set him up on blind dates. After turning up to work in a bad mood more than once, Draco convinces him to tell them that he's already got a date and promises that he'll arrange something better. Harry finds that he enjoys the dates so much, that when his friends stop setting him up, he continues to tell Draco that he's been set up. They're falling for each other, but neither can admit it to the other. Until they do. -Luckynemesis’s Tumblr Art Post -PeachBabyPie’s Tumblr Art Post

Every Hour Has Led to This written by @sassy-cissa with art by @celilasart [Explicit, 105k] Summary: Banned from the wizarding world and sentenced to live as a Muggle for ten years, Draco Malfoy finds his world turned upside down. Navigating the Muggle world becomes easier thanks to help from some unexpected strangers who become family. But when his mother insists Draco fulfil an agreement set when he was a child, he finds himself married and a father. Then a divorced single father.

After the war Harry Potter found himself without purpose, until an unexpected offer changed his life. Playboy, Quidditch star, war hero – Harry seems to have it all, until a Quidditch accident ends his career. Lost and without purpose, Harry's life is lonely until a surprising event brings him to Draco's door…literally.

Running parallel lives for nearly 10 years, when they reconnect both Draco and Harry find the passion for life that had been missing.

A story of love and loss and how the best things in life happen in their own time. -LLAP115′s AO3 Art Post -LLAP115′s Tumblr Art Post 1 -LLAP115′s Tumblr Art Post 2 -LLAP115′s Tumblr Art Post 3 -LLAP115′s Tumblr Art Post 4 -LLAP115′s Tumblr Art Post 5

Bringing Down Draco written by @maraudersaffair with art by @miakagrewup [Explicit, 51k] Summary: It's 1879, and Draco is the Duke of Malfoy and Harry is the starving Oxford student who falls in love with him. Harry is also a male suffragist who is utterly committed to helping women win the right to vote. The problem: Draco is one of the powerful men in Parliament who refuse to grant women legal equality and Harry is convinced they could never be together. -Miakagrewup’s Tumblr Art Post

speak of the devil (and the devil shall appear) written by @sophisticatedyet with art by @fictional and @mad1492 [Explicit, 88k] Summary: “So, there I was: probably a little bit concussed, stinking of vinegar, pickles sliding into my socks — and of course, that’s when Potter turns up.”

Pansy's gaze drifted over Draco’s shoulder and her lips twisted. “That’s funny, considering he also just appeared behind you." - Unbeknownst to anyone, Draco gets hit by a curse. Suddenly, Harry Potter is around a lot more than either of them want him to be.

Soundless Love written by @alindakb with art by @luckynemesis and @mad1492 [Teen, 67k] Summary: Harry is on his way to Hogwarts together with his friends Ron and Hermione and his adoptive brother Neville for their 3rd year, when they run into crazy Malfoy. Malfoy physically attacks Harry for no apparent reason. In this moment Harry realises that he’s been wrong about Malfoy. He’s not a spoiled brat, who thinks he’s better than everyone, and therefore never speaks. Malfoy is probably deaf, just like Harry’s Uncle Sirius. From this moment, Harry makes it his personal mission to help out Malfoy. Now he just has to convince Malfoy to accept his help.

And then there is the break out of Pettigrew. Harry and Neville can’t have that rat run around free. He’s the reason Neville’s parents are dead and why Sirius lost his hearing. They plan to find him and stop him once and for all. Even though they promise James time and time again that they will leave it up to the Aurors. -Luckynemesis’s Tumblr Art Post

The Secret Keeper written by @the-fools-errand with art by @razielim [Mature, 225k] Summary: On Halloween 1981, Albus Dumbledore made a decision that would change the course of history, concealing Harry Potter’s survival at the hands of Lord Voldemort underneath a Fidelius Charm. But when Harry comes of age in the Muggle world, Dumbledore realises too late that the fate of the world may depend on a boy who has never held a wand.

An unlikely team assemble to teach him everything he needs to know before the charm runs out, but only one of them knows the truth behind the Dark Lord’s return to power. If it were anyone else, Draco would have no problem turning them over to the Death Eaters, but there’s something about this certain bespectacled idiot that has him questioning everything he’s ever known.

Will Draco seal the fate of the wizarding world by uncovering the Chosen One or will Harry save Draco from a fate of his own? -Razielim's AO3 Art Post -Razielim's Tumblr Art Post 1 -Razielim’s Tumblr Art Post 2 -Razielim’s Tumblr Art Post 3 -Razielim’s Tumblr Art Post 4

Dwelling on Dreams written by @the-sinking-ship with art by @lkaet [Explicit, 136k] Summary: Draco thought he could avoid Potter for the duration of his brief return to England. He’d stick to his schedule and be back in Paris where he belonged in a few short months. No trouble at all. He had plenty to occupy him, what with the opening of the London branch of his successful apothecary, his innovative research, drinks with Pansy, a backlog of unread potions periodicals.

Except Head Auror Potter is everywhere — in Draco’s chair, at his door, in his dreams. All six feet of motorbike-riding, combat-boot-wearing, sex-hair-sporting Saviour of the World packed into one unfairly fetching uniform. Potter won’t leave Draco the bloody hell alone, won’t let him breathe, let him forget, let him sleep.

Because no matter how fast Draco Malfoy runs, Harry Potter is always hot on his heels. -Lkaet’s Tumblr Art Post

#drarry #drarry fest #drarry fests #drarry fic #drarry art #harrydracobang #masterlist #mod post #2021 fest

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suga4mycoffee · 2 years ago

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Okay, since my emotions are overflowing, and everyone else is doing it...

KinnPorsche dragged me kicking and screaming back into actually participating in fandom.

The show itself is a masterpiece. The visuals are consistently stunning, the plot is compelling, the characters are fabulous, and the cast and crew behind it all are some of the most talented and skilled in the game.

There has never been anything like this show before, and I don't know how anything will ever be able to measure up going forward.

I will forever be thankful to the show and all involved, for gifting me with such an absolute wild ride. So many emotions, so many thoughts and theories, and so much hyperactive squealing.

Most of all, I will be forever thankful to KinnPorsche for making it possible to meet so many amazing people.

Thank you @lutawolf for all your amazing and insightful posts, and for inviting me into the madness that is the Coconuts Mafia. You've made it possible for me to meet wonderful people, including my favourite fanfiction author of all time.

Speaking of, thank you @iffervescent, my Brit Brat Twin, for writing my comfort series, and for being an all-around amazing person. Meeting you sent me into a fangirl rant, be proud!

@feralpansexual, my warm sunshine, your presence brings me great joy, and I hope to learn to flirt as smoothly as you do one day.

@thedumbwritersblog, the absolute chaos we produce is really something special, and I'm so proud of it.

@luckydragon10, thank you for your unbelievable work on the mammoth meta doc, and for the writing advice and encouragement.

@akitbeast, @minisculecosmos, @minsuga-pd, @makemematryoshka, Cositas_Lindas_Girasol, and Pebee, y'all make my day in a million different ways.

To all of the Coconuts Mafia: Thank you. I adore you. You have saved me.

As we approach the end of this incomparable series, please know that I'm not going anywhere, and I hope we can all stay together for a long time. Let's find new things to watch, let's introduce each other to our favourite shows, and let's keep the chaos going, even after this ends.

I'm actually in tears already, I can't believe it's almost over.

For the last time in this series, let's do this.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #coconuts mafia

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alltheworldsinmyhead · 4 years ago

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ON FEYSAND’S PLOTLINE IN ACOSF

!!!!MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE ACOSF!!!!

Let’s be honest for a while, okay?

ACOCF had potential to be SJM’s best book, if not for any other reason then because of the sheer idea of it. Coming-of-age, healing story of the most complex and polarizing character she has ever created set in the time of peace, away from the familiar setting (according to the later changed concept which still remains in the snippet at the end of ACOFAS), development of her arguably most feisty and angsty love story... It could be her absolute trumph. Even with the change to stick to Velaris instead of exploring the Illyrian culture of the Mountains and with the added conflict of the Mortal Queens and Koshei, it still could work quite well.

It didn’t. For many, many reasons, but the most important one, in my opinion, being the feysand pregnancy plot.

Nothing about this plotline made sense. Not a single thing. From start to finish, it was an absolute disaster from the character-writing POV, from the narration POV, from every single context of it. It broke the rules of real-life logic, it broke the rules of this fantasy world setting and it completely exposed that Rhysand, while not a bad guy, is a pretty terrible partner, even worse ruler and an absolutely terrible contender for the High King title.

Let’s break this whole mess down (and expect this post to be mammoth-sized. it’s not my fault, though, write to SJM if you have any complains):

1) Feyre, 21, decides to get pregnant, even though less than a year earlier, she expresses the delight with not being forced to bear children to her new mate and told him herself she wants to wait a while and enjoy her life with him. Feyre decides she wants a baby though and Rhysand goes along with it, even though he is aware how young Feyre is and how hard her life has been up until this point. He wants a baby too much to have an honest discussion with Feyre about it, to stop and wonder what is the reason for her sudden change of heart, to reassure her that they have a lot of time ahead of them and don’t need to rush. No. She mades a sudden decision to have a baby after A YEAR OF MARRIAGE and not much more of being turned fae, JUST AFTER having her whole world put upside down, having received a completely new title and responsibilities, surviving the wat and being mated. Great.

2) Feyre decides to get pregnant and Rhys goes along with it less than a year after the end of the bloody war. It is politically a delicate time, everyone is still not sure how the balance will shift, some countries don;t want to sign the peace treaty, etc. There are a lot of enemies and a lot of turmoil remaining. But sure. Let’s have a baby. Perfect time to add yet another target, another weakness that can be use by the Mortal Queens, Beron or whatever else with malicious intent towards the Night Court.

2) Feyre gets pregnant after approximately a year of trying. I know healthy people of reproductive age for whom it takes ages more than this. Fae’s pregnancies are rare af and precious and happen once in a blue moon, but ofc SJM broke the world’s rules for her darling Feyre. And again, for Kallas and Vivianne who are also expecting the baby, even though it has been a maximum of 3 years since they’ve mated. 3 years is also not a particularly long time to try to have a baby for those who have issues with their reproductive systems like Fae women. Thank you, next.

3) Rhys has unprotected sex with Feyre in her Illyrian form when she conceives, even though he knows full well having a winged baby would kill her. He does it anyway, for shits and giggles apparently. They probably have sex in the sky above Velaris, for all we know.

4) The baby has wings. Now, the whole explanation with Illyrian wings being bony (bc they resemble bat wings) and Seraphin ones being more flexible (bc they resemble bird ones) is so insanely stupid that it takes around 3 seconds to wikipedia this shit and find out it’s exactly the opposite. But okay, the baby has wings and Feyre will die while giving birth, along with the baby. Madja forbids Feyre from turning into an Illyrian to carry the pregnancy because it MIGHT hurt the baby. Now, remember, Feyre conceived while in Illyrian form and then turned into High Fae. The baby survived it just fine. The baby MIGHT be hurt by Feyre turning .... but it will FOR SURE die if she stays High Fae and Feyre will too. Idk about you, but I would take the risk of MIGHT instead of FOR SURE. Especially when she is already in labour and dying. Cauldron or Nesta or idk who alters Feyre’s pelvis after the baby is cut out of her for no apparent reason but to allow feysand to make exactly the same mistakes later on. How convinient. And Nesta also alters her own pelvis bc god forbid she won’t be able give Cassian babies like the little useful mate she is now. She should’ve probably done it with Elain too, just in case she decides to fuck Az in the future, because fuck consequences and fuck the stakes in the story that make the readers actually CARE about characters bc they know the author may actually kill them and not save their life every fucking time.

5) I don’t even want to comment on the fact Rhys hid the true danger of this pregnancy for Feyre and their family went along with it. It is absolutely disgusting. And Nesta telling her and that being condemned as the act of the ultimate cruelty which is a final straw to break her self-loathing back.... is abhorrent. It made my sick, actually, phisically sick. There is no justification for it. No at all. And the fact that they did not even consider abortion sends a message that I really don’t want to think too much about it. Feyre was 2 months along when they learned the baby is winged. 2 months. 8 weeks. It wasn’t a baby yet, let’s be honest. They could’ve at least discussed it. She - oh my god, I cannot believe SJM wrote it this way, I’m gonna be sick.

6) For the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, they have no plan to really help her. Labour plan? Haven’t heard if it. They have money and power and access to the healers of the whole land. And did not figure out how to stop her from bleeding out after a fucking C-section. THIS WORLD HAS MAGIC AND THEY COULDN’T STOP HER FROM BLEEDING OUT AFTER A FUCKING C-SECTION. Didn’t even ask Thesan, the High Lord of Healing, to be present. Cassian had guts hanging out of his stomach and survived. Az was fucking slashed apart in Hybern and survived. But yeah, Feyre was on a brink of death after a C-section. Great, Sarah. Keep it up. Let’s force the thought into young girls’ heads that labour is the most lethal thing ever, why not.

7) Also, for the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, Rhys keeps quiet about this idiotic bargain. He, as far as we know, doesn’t make any plans for the moment when him and Feyre and possibly their baby are dead. If they died and baby survived.. who would take care of it? Does Rhys have a conversation with his family about it? NAH. Doesn’t write any sort of plan how to keep the Court going, doesn’t inform even the closest of his co-workers how they should proceed to act after he’s gone and his and Feyre’s power go to god-knows-who. Their deaths would mean a sure chaos for the weakend and fragile Prythian and the Night Court especially and yet nor Rhys nor Feyre make any sort of preparations for it. Rhys doesn’t tell his brothers or Mor or HIS SECOND IN COMMAND they will all soon have to somehow manage without him. He was about to just leave them to their own devices and told them in the last. possible. moment.

And this man - this man is, according to Amren, the best candidate to handle the whole country? To unite it? This fool who makes idiotic bargains, who thinks first about his cock and his own selfish desires and considers his subjects and his responsibilities as a High Lord last and least important of all? Who has so much trust in his wife, in his High Lady, the mother of his son that he doesn’t tell her she will almost surely die on a birthing bed because it MAY UPSET HER?

This plotline was the straw that broke my back. ACOTAR, at it’s heart has always been a ya fantasy with added ‘spice’ and I was willing to bend my critical-thinking skills in many cases and forget and forgive many smaller idiotic issues in this series. But this? It is not idiotic. It is massive and stupid to the point when it becomes insulting to the reader. It was a plot straight out of a bad fanfic, not something that should be in a published book written by someone who writes for a living. You could even argue that Twilight has handled this toxic trope better. I have wasted my money on this book and thinking about it will always be painful for me. So yeah.

ACOSF could be great. Ended up quite pathetic.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames #rhysand #feysand

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aerithisms · 3 years ago

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hi! i was wondering if you could share some of your favorite faberry fanfics? :)

oh ABSOLUTELY bestie come with me on a journey where i embarrass myself by revealing just how much time i've spent reading this stuff over the past few months

you're the trouble i always find by mooosicaldreamz

quinn and rachel meet again as adults when rachel gets cast as the lead on the tv show quinn's writing. fun fact i read this one before i even watched the show because i was bored and it was such a love letter to glee and faberry that it singlehandedly compelled me to watch it and now here we are

stays in vegas by gayerfurtherfaster

the glee club is in vegas for a reunion and when rachel and quinn wake up to discover that they're married they have to retrace their steps from the night before. this one is adorable and so FUNNY i love it a lot

various works by forforever19

forforever19 is a hero of modern society who has written TONS of faberry fic over the last couple of years that i've barely scratched the surface of so i'm sure if you frequent the faberry ao3 you've seen them around but here are some i've read and liked: waiting for a girl like you (alternate take on the wedding fiasco), worth the wait (rachel's college roommate pulls her head out of her ass), to last a lifetime (a vehicle for lots of cute vignettes), meant to be (amnesia fic because i live for the drama), just my soul responding (soulmate au), and one single thread of gold (tied me to you) (also a soulmate au lol)

we are lead (to those who help us most to grow) by nightshifted

alternate take on season 1 quinn and her mental state during the pregnancy storyline after she moves in with mercedes. features the quinncedes friendship we deserve and ofc faberry being in love

you say you've gone away from me (but i can feel you when i breathe) by yumi_michiyo

completely canon compliant post-canon fix-it fic that takes quinn's "and i donated the egg" joke line literally and features quinn and rachel finding their way back to each other through being surrogates for the klaine baby. this fic is my official headcanon for what happens after the finale because i think it's so lovely and treats the characters well

simple parts by flyingflesheater

time travel au where senior year quinn and rachel travel forward to find themselves married in the future. i'm always a sucker for the drama of the time travel trope and i thought the family dynamic in this one was especially interesting

devolution by poetzproblem

alternate take on season 3 quinn that really digs into her psyche during that time in the show. it's lighter on the faberry (though the faberry is there!) in favour of character study and i think it does quinn so much justice. also features really sweet quinntana friendship

poetzproblem is another one of those people who's written a LOT of faberry over the years that i'm sure you've heard of and i haven't read anything close to all of it (i haven't tackled their mammoth don't blink series yet but i have faith that it slaps) but i also loved magical mystery tour, a cute time travel flash forward fic (time travel seems to be a big trope in faberry fandom for some reason? i'm into it) and acceptance/remembrance, in which hollywood actress quinn fabray keeps thanking a mysterious rachel berry in her awards acceptance speeches

take these broken wings series by celaenos

canon divergence that follows what quinn's journey might've been like if she kept beth. haven't finished this one yet (mostly because i adore it and i want to savour it lol) but i love this quinn and the found family of it all so, so much. strongly features her friendship with my himbo king sam evans

you and her loathing this cruel world by thememoriesfire

thememoriesfire seems to have been a pretty big name author back in the day and i haven't read either of their biggest faberry fics yet but i really love this one, where it's kurt that quinn gets pregnant with instead of puck, and quinn, kurt, sam and rachel form one big unconventional family

sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything by andawaywego

i've read a few fics by this author and so far they've all been great but this one sticks to me the most. finn's death is such a difficult subject, especially for fanfiction, since it's so wrapped up in the death of a real world person, but i thought this fic handled it in a very delicate way and had such a thoughtful exploration of how rachel might deal with that grief while falling for someone new

mistyheartrbs (also my beloved mutual @mistyheartrbs here on tumblr dot com) has written a ton of faberry fic that i've barely started digging into but this recent missing scene fic set during season 3 made me feel insane so i offer it as a place to start

gonna stop there and i'm sure i'm forgetting something i loved but there is so much good faberry fic out there it's the best!! i don't usually end up into fandoms where the fic writing scene is this prolific and i'm having a lot of fun indulging in the backlog

#blahs #fic recs #answers #faberry #glee #i'm only just dipping my toe into the faberry page on ff.net and there's even MORE on there #i worry about ff.net's longevity so i'm probably gonna try and wayback machine ones i like #in conclusion fanfic authors are heroes who don't wear capes so thank you for this excuse to gush and be embarrassing

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lumosandnoxwriting · 4 years ago

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Forever Just Isn’t Enough - George Weasley

Title: Forever Just Isn’t Enough Pairing: George x Fem!Reader Warnings: NSFW!! Fingering, female receiving oral, unprotected sex, dirty talk, cockwarming, feeling full kink ?? again idk if that’s a real thing but oh well Extra Warnings: major character death!! Minor character death. Slightly alcoholism, unhealthy coping mechanisms, grief and dealing with grief, one comment that could allude to suicide, mentions of death and infant loss, mentions of blood and blood loss. Mentions of injuries. Mentions of childbirth. Summary: just when things seem like they can finally fall into place, everything nearly falls apart. Will George and Y/N really get their forever? Or will their dreams crumble around them? A/N: summary is shit but here it is! Here is its, the mammoth that is good girl part 3!! This fic has been nearly a month in the making and it is officially the longest thing I’ve ever written!! It’s 23k words so buckle up! This really is the final part, and I have definitely become attached to this universe. Everything in italics is flashbacks!! I would like to give a huge thanks to @pineapplesandpinas who left a reply on one of my posts that actually inspired this fic! I’d also like to give a huge thanks to the person who gave me some editing help and is coincidentally the person who requested this in the first place, I hope you like it!! As always feedback is welcome! Tags: @feltondarling @pandaxnienke @raerae27 @allforthexgame @pigwidgexn @hufflrpuffforfred @wand3ringr0s3 @whiz-bangs78 @gcdric @starlightweasley @vogueweasley @theweasleysredhair @dracoswhore007 @lexymoniqu @amourtentiaa @mischiefisbeingmanaged Read Part 1 here, Read Part 2 here

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Y/N’s chest heaves with deep breathes as she runs down a corridor, watching walls crumble as they get hit with stray curses. She used to be able to walk through Hogwarts with her eyes closed and know exactly where she was in any given moment. But now her heart hammers in her chest as she stands at the junction of two different hallways, unsure of where they’ll lead her. Y/N can hear footsteps barreling towards her, and in a moment of panic she heads to the left, gripping her wand tightly in her hand.

Her legs carry her as fast as they can down the hallway as she silently prays to find someone she knows. By the time she clambered into the room of requirement from the passageway that starts at the Hogs Head Inn preparations for the impending battle were already in full swing and the Order was spread out around the entire castle. Y/N had caught a flash of red hair as she helped Cho Chang cast a protection spell, but by the time she turned her head it was already gone. Death Eaters reached the castle nearly 30 minutes ago, and Y/N has been on her own the entire time, casting curses and spells at them as she searched for Ginny or Hermione. For George. She’s already seen a few bodies lying still on the floor, and her heart is in her stomach with the thought that George could be one of them. Laying lifeless in some hallway all by himself.

Y/N starts to slow down as a wall approaches and she can hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears. A dead end. The footsteps behind her persist, and she has no choice but to stop as she reaches the end of the hallway, turning around to face her fate. She raises her wand as she looks at the person coming up towards her, but it falters slightly as a familiar face stops just a few feet away. “Adrian?”

Adrian grins as he takes a few steps closer to Y/N, but it’s not the same fond smile he’d shared with her many times. It’s wicked, evil almost and Y/N tries to swallow the lump that’s suddenly formed in her throat as memories of the last time she’d seen Adrian come swirling to the forefront of her mind.

Y/N turns around when she feels a tap on her shoulder, a wide smile on her face. Seven years of hard work has all lead to this: graduation day. She feels absolutely euphoric, and when she turns around and spots Adrian she pulls him into a hug – too excited to second guess herself. It’s the first time they’ve hugged in nearly half a year and while it feels familiar, it’s mostly awkward.

After the conversation Y/N and George had on the train ride back to school from winter break Y/N really made a conscious effort to start a new life with George. The way they had been operating as a couple was only leading them towards disaster, and they were both willing to do anything to avoid that possibility.

The main change they made together was to spend more time together as a couple that didn’t involve getting rid of their clothes. Instead of sitting with each other’s friends during meals all the time, they decided to sit on their own a few times a week so they would get a chance to just talk to each other and reconnect after a crazy day. Y/N started to spend the night over in George’s dorm with him, and while they did have sex most of the time, they took the time to just lay there and hold each other too. While Y/N was busy doing her homework in the library George would just sit there with her, sometimes working on stuff for the joke shop, but sometimes just sitting there and watching her work.

But by far the biggest change was one that rested in Y/N’s hands alone, she needed to set new boundaries with Adrian. Her friends had become her security blanket over the years, their friendship began on that first train ride to Hogwarts, when they were all nervous and scared. She relied on them heavily to be her emotional support, and when George came into her life Y/N made no efforts to change any of that. Y/N had thought George could just slip into their friend group as if he had always been there, but it quickly became clear that wasn’t the case.

Her relationship with Adrian was definitely the biggest point of contention in her and George’s relationship, and was thus the one thing that really changed. It was common for her and Adrian to be physically affectionate towards each other. An arm around the shoulders, a tight hug after a long day, even the occasional hand holding. Y/N hadn’t realized how that might hurt George, and so she put a stop to it immediately. On the occasions where she did sit with her friends at meals she stuck by Daphne’s side, instead of falling into her usual seat next to Adrian. She stopped wearing his Quidditch jumpers to their matches and she made sure to quiet his flirtatious comments, reminding him that she has a boyfriend now, and comments like that make her and George uncomfortable.

So now being close with Adrian feels too close, and while he tries to linger in her grasp Y/N pulls away with a tight grin. “I can’t believe it, we’re finally done!”

“This is the last chance we have, Y/N,” Adrian starts, placing his hands on her hips. Before Y/N can shake off his grasp Adrian lurches forward and presses their lips together.

Y/N moves her face away and tries to push Adrian off of her. “Adrian, stop. I’m with George, you know that.”

“But you could be with me. You should be with me,” Adrian tells her, tightening his grip on her hips. “That’s how it was supposed to be, Y/N. Marcus and Daphne would get married, we would get married. Our kids would grow up together, we’d stand on the same platform we met on holding hands as we send our kids off to school. I love you. And you were supposed to love me too.”

Before Y/N has a chance to respond, a familiar hand is grabbing Adrian’s shoulder and pulling him away from Y/N. George stands in between them, and while Y/N can’t see George’s face, she can tell from the way his back muscles are tensed that he’s pissed.

“What the hell are you doing, Pucey?” George spits. “Y/N doesn’t feel that way about you. She never has and she never will. If this wasn’t supposed to be a special day for her I’d knock your fucking lights out like I’ve wanted to since November. So, get the fuck out of here before I make you get the fuck out of here.”

Y/N wraps her arms around George’s neck as he turns around, watching Adrian stalk off over his shoulder.

“Long time no see, Y/N,” he taunts, keeping his wand pointed at her.

Y/N tightens her grip on her wand, keeping it at his chest. Their friendship may have ended in disaster, but she hopes that the years of memories they had before that keep him from doing anything. Adrian may not be the person she thought he was, but Y/N doesn’t want to hurt him. “How’ve you been?” she asks, trying to keep her voice even.

Adrian scoffs. “Don’t act like you care about me now, Y/N. You had your chance to be with me. And you gave it up, for what? True Love?” his voice is mocking, condescending and it makes Y/N’s stomach turn. “But where’s Weasley now? When you need him most?” Adrian’s eyes fall from Y/N’s face to her neck and she lets out a gasp as he places his wand on her chest and lifts up the end of her necklace with it. The tip of his wand is now directly in front of her neck, and a cold sweat runs down her back. “Still wearing this cheap necklace, I see. If you were mine you’ d be dripping with diamonds and pearls. You’d want for nothing.”

“All I want is George,” Y/N answers firmly. Y/N hasn’t taken the necklace George gave her for their first Christmas together off since the day he put it on her neck. It’s like a promise ring, it’s George’s promise of forever, and in these times she’s needed it now more than ever. “So, go head and kill me, or Crucio me, or do whatever you want. But I’m gonna die thinking about George, I’m going to die loving George. And I hope that knowledge drives you crazy for the rest of your life.” Y/N closes her eyes as Adrian’s mouth opens, getting ready to cast her own curse. But before either of them can say anything a familiar voice is casting a curse of their own.

“Stupefy!” George shouts, his wand aimed directly at Adrian’s back.

Y/N’s eyes pop back open as Adrian’s body slumps to the ground, and there George is, standing just a few feet away, his stance firm and his wand raised high. Tears start to spill down her cheeks as she steps over Adrian’s unconscious body before Y/N is running at full speed towards her boyfriend and jumping into his open arms. “Oh my god Georgie,” she sobs, pressing her face into his neck.

“Hi teacup,” he chuckles, wrapping his arms firmly around her waist. He can hear her laugh at the nickname, and George presses a kiss to Y/N’s temple. “I’ve been looking all over for you, darling. I’ve been losing my fucking mind.”

Y/N pulls away from George’s neck so she can kiss him desperately. It’s been far too long since she last saw him, and Y/N can’t help but think about the last time George held her like this.

“Y/N! Grab my hand!” George shouts, reaching out to her.

Y/N shouts a curse at a snatcher as she runs towards George, gripping onto his hand tightly with her own. She shuts her eyes tight as George pulls her into his chest, and it feels like all the air is being sucked from her lungs as George disapperates them to safety.

“Fucking hell,” Y/N groans as she lands on her back in the middle of a field, George landing right on top of her. George’s fingers dig into her sides and Y/N laughs as she pushes at his shoulders. “Get off of me you oaf I’m suffocating!”

They both giggle as George rolls off of Y/N, settling on his back next to her. “Are you okay, teacup?”

Y/N takes a few deep breaths, trying to find the answer to George’s question. Official Order business put them in the middle of some forest on the outskirts of Essex, and just before they were leaving they ran into a band of snatchers. They ran and fought them for nearly 20 minutes before George had managed to take them to wherever they are now.

“I’m okay,” Y/N answers honestly a few minutes later. She turns onto her side so she can look down at George. “Are you doing okay? Where are we?”

“Aunt Muriel’s house is about 100 yards north of us, we used to play Quidditch out here when we’d visit her as kids. It’s the only place I could think of that would be safe and secluded.” George reaches up and tucks a stray piece of hair behind Y/N’s ear. “I’m doing okay. Better now that I’m here with you.”

Y/N smiles at George sadly and leans down to kiss him softly. After the ministry fell Y/N left her training program at St. Mungo’s to work for the Order full time, and she was placed in a safe house up in Wales. Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes has been closed for weeks, and Fred and George have turned it into Potterwatch Headquarters. It’s now early November, and Y/N hasn’t seen George since the beginning of August at Bill and Fleur’s wedding.

“I wish I could come home,” she says quietly, running her fingers through George’s hair. He hasn’t been home for Molly to cut it and it’s starting to get long again. “It’s so lonely up in Wales without you. Feels like I can’t get a proper nights sleep without you in bed next to me.”

George grabs Y/N’s chin and pulls her down into a searing kiss. “Our bed is cold without you, teacup. Your pillow doesn’t even smell like you anymore.” He reaches up then and untucks her necklace from the collar of her shirt. “Still wearing this old thing?” he teases, toying with the charms. “I should get you something new, flashier. Even with Diagon Alley closed we’ve been doing some mail order business. And I’ve got all that savings. Could get you something nice.”

Y/N scoffs and slaps George on the chest playfully. “I love my necklace, Georgie. You act like you still don’t wear that stupid teapot pin every day,” she teases. “Teapots are kinda our thing and I love that. Besides you should spend your savings on something important. Like a new broom or something.”

“Or an engagement ring, or a wedding, or a house,” George muses with a grin. “I’m gonna end up spending it on you either way, Y/N. You take your pick.”

“Stop, don’t say that,” Y/N responds, her cheeks flushing pink.

George pulls Y/N onto his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I promised you forever, didn’t I, Y/N? Once this war is over I’m going to put the fattest diamond money can buy on your ring finger and officially make you mine forever. Got it?”

“It doesn’t have to be the fattest diamond, just something simple and classy,” Y/N mumbles, pressing her face into George’s chest. She can feel his laughter rumble in his chest, and she smiles against his shirt. “I wish we could just lay here forever.”

“Me too,” George responds quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you. So much that it hurts sometimes. You know that, right?”

Y/N looks up at George, a look of concern on her features. “Of course, George. I love you too.”

“I just,” George pauses to clear his throat, needing to choke back the rush of emotion he’s suddenly feeling. “I need you to know, how much you mean to me. In case, in case this is the last time you ever see me. This war, everything is so uncertain. I could die, I just-,” George’s words cut off as he suddenly sobs, and hot tears start to roll down his cheeks.

“Georgie,” Y/N coos, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. She rolls off of him then onto her back, pulling George so he’s half laying on top of her with his head resting on her chest. She starts to run a hand through his hair, while the other rubs his back soothingly. “You can’t think about stuff like that, okay? I know things are scary out there but we gotta stay focused on the positive. That fat diamond and the big wedding and the house. The dog, the chickens, the babies. How am I gonna get my six little ginger babies if you die? Hm?”

“Six?” George asks with a sniffle. “I thought we agreed on four.”

“Yeah well I’ve had a lot of time to think while I’ve been on my own and I changed my mind,” Y/N chuckles. “Either way you have to stay alive in order to give me all that. So promise me George, that you’ll stay alive. That you’ll fight hard, for me. For you. For our ginger babies.”

George picks his head up and pulls Y/N’s face down to his, kissing her slowly and with so much love it makes his head dizzy. “I promise. Forever.”

That moment was already six months ago, but to Y/N it’s felt like a lifetime, so she hugs him a bit tighter, trying to convey six months’ worth of feelings and sentiments into one embrace. Time is not on their side, and while Y/N would happily stand here in George’s embrace for the next few weeks, if they both plan on staying alive they can’t linger too long.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Y/N asks, pulling away slightly so she can properly look at George. There’s dust and debris all over his face, she doesn’t see any blood, and as her hands roam around his torso and arms she can’t feel any bandages and he doesn’t wince at all.

George chuckles and cups Y/N’s face in one of his hands. “I’m absolutely fine, teacup. Not a scratch, I promise. Can’t give you those six ginger babies like I promised if I’m hurt, can I?”

“It’s seven now,” Y/N mumbles, pressing her face into his chest. “And I want a sheep too.”

“And a sheep? That’s it, that’s where I draw the line,” George teases, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “What about you? Are you okay, Y/N? I thought Adrian. I thought Adrian was gonna kill you.”

Y/N shudders at the thought of what might have happened and looks up at George. There’s so much that’s happened since they last spoke, so much she needs to tell him. But now is certainly not the time or place for it. Once they get through this night they’ll have the rest of their lives to be together, heal together. “I’m doing alright. Better now that I’ve seen you. Have you seen anyone else?”

George shakes his head. “Fred and I got separated a bit ago, I saw him with Percy not too long ago, just before I found you. Ginny was on bridge duty with Neville and Seamus so who knows where she ended up. Dad and Mum were in the Great Hall when I left them, and I haven’t seen Ron, Hermione or Harry since the preparations began. But honestly I haven’t been paying attention too much. I’ve been trying to find you, teacup. I was worried when you didn’t show up in the room of requirement.”

“I was on duty, with Tonks. By the time we got the memo and got over here stuff was already going on, people were running around and making preparations and stuff. I tried to find you, but Cho needed my help. I’ve been running around this damn castle trying to find you,” Y/N explains.

Just then a wall somewhere near them collapses, and George covers Y/N’s head with his body. George kisses Y/N again as the dust around them settles, needing to feel close to her for another moment. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” he murmurs, pressing a brief kiss to her lips between each set of words. His eye catches the shine of her necklace and George reaches up, feeling the charms between his fingertips. “Just a little bit longer until we can have our forever, yeah?”

“As long as you don’t die on me,” Y/N tries to tease, digging her fingers into George’s shoulders. The fear bubbling in her stomach creeps into her voice, and she rubs her thumb over the teapot pin stuck to the lapel of George’s jacket, needing to ground herself with something familiar. “You can’t die on me, George.” Y/N can feel tears running down her cheeks, but she doesn’t move to wipe them away, not wanting to let go of George, even for a second. “I can’t live without you.”

“You’re my everything,” George murmurs, cupping Y/N’s cheek so he can brush away some of her tears with his thumb. “And you’re never getting rid of me. Got that?”

Y/N nods and leans up on her tiptoes to press one last kiss to George’s mouth. “I’ll see you on the other side, yeah?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Y/N runs as fast as her legs will carry her back to the Great Hall. It’s been hours since she saw George and her hands haven’t stopped shaking since Voldemort started to speak to them, urging them to stop fighting and collect their dead. George could be one of those dead and even though Y/N’s eyes are blurry from the tears she’s shedding, she doesn’t stop to wipe them away. She feels like she can’t breathe, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s running. Y/N knows she won’t be able to properly breathe until she sees George again, so she just keeps moving.

Her legs are on fire when she reaches the Great Hall and as she pushes the heavy wooden door open her legs finally come to a screeching halt. There are makeshift gurneys all over the floor, some covered, some not. But Y/N is sure the one thing they have in common is the fact that there’s a dead body laying on top of it. She tries not to let herself linger on their faces too long, just trying to spot a shock of red hair.

That’s when she sees it. The Weasley family is at the other end of the Great Hall, standing around one of the gurneys. Y/N can see Bill and Fleur clutching each other, and everyone has tears in their eyes. She can’t see who’s laying on the ground, but as she lets her eyes pass over everyone a gut-wrenching sob leaves her throat as one thing becomes clear. It’s one of the twins. Whichever one is still alive has their back towards her with their head bowed, so she has no idea who it is.

Y/N’s knees quiver as she forces herself to walk over there, bile rising up her throat. He had promised. George had promised her forever. Had promised her that he’d stay alive. Had promised to spend the rest of his life loving her. They had planned out their entire life, and now that may be all gone.

“George. George, please,” Y/N chokes out as she approaches, her legs feeling like jelly. Whoever it is finally turns around, and Y/N takes her first full deep breath in what feels like forever.

“Teacup,” George cries as Y/N launches herself onto him, his arms wrapping around her waist to hold her close. He presses his face into her neck and just sobs, his shoulders shaking from the force of his tears.

Y/N starts to shush George and rub his back, trying desperately to soothe him. It has always been Fred and George. The only person she ever had to share George with was Fred and she never minded a bit. Fred and George were the most dynamic duo the Wizarding World has ever seen, destined to live out the rest of their days making the world laugh and causing chaos wherever they go. But now it’ll be just George, and Y/N has no idea how to make that okay.

Fred and Y/N certainly had their issues. Years of hating someone will do that to you, and when she and George started dating it became a silent agreement between them to be civil. But now, looking at Fred’s pale face over George’s shoulder, Y/N can feel her momentary relief rush out of her body, and overwhelming sadness takes its place as fresh hot tears start to roll down her cheeks.

Her and Fred had just barely started to come together when the war started, and now they’ll never have that chance again.

“He’s fine you know,” Fred comments as he comes to stand next to Y/N. “You’re looking at him as if he’s going to fall apart into a million tiny pieces with a hard gust of wind.”

Y/N chuckles, and finally looks away from George so she can look up at Fred. Bill and Fleur’s wedding is in full swing, and while Y/N knows this is supposed to be a time to celebrate, a rare moment of sunshine in the darkness of the Wizarding World, panic settled deep in her stomach the moment she stumbled into the Burrow with Ron and saw George lying on the couch, bleeding out of his head and it hasn’t left since. Had the curse been aimed half a centimeter to the left they’d be at a funeral right now, not a wedding. Molly had managed to heal George up fine, and he’s been his usual jovial self over the few days it’s been since his injury, but Y/N can’t help but still worry.

“It makes me feel better,” Y/N admits honestly, letting her eyes find George again. “I’m afraid that if I look away for too long he’ll just disappear. That all my fears will be confirmed and there will forever be a George sized hole in my heart and my life.” Y/N swallows thickly, trying to push away the tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. “He could have died, and I truly wouldn’t know what to do with myself if that happened.”

“I thought he was dead,” Fred says after a few moments of silence, surprising Y/N. “When Dad and I got back he asked where George was, and no one said anything. Remus, Harry, they all just looked at us. I figured he was dead. That’s why they wouldn’t tell us. There was so much blood when we got in there, I actually thought he was dead. And then he moved, and it felt like I could breathe again.”

Y/N worries her bottom lip between her teeth as she watches George fiddle with the gauze wrapped around his head. She wants to just go over there and slap his hands away and remind him he has to keep it clean if he wants it to heal, a conversation she already had to have with him this morning after she found him sipping coffee in the kitchen with his toothbrush sticking out of the side of his head.

“It’s my fault. I wasn’t even supposed to go. But Tonks is pregnant, and she shouldn’t be putting her life on the line like that. Not even for blimin’ Harry Potter. George tried to convince me not to go. Said he’d worry about me too much if I was out there.” Y/N shrugs, taking a long sip of champagne. “Maybe if I had stayed here like I was supposed to he would have been able to dodge the curse, or he’d have been focused enough to send Snape out of the sky before he even got a chance to hurt George.”

Fred nudges Y/N with his elbow so she’ll look up at him. “You like, really love him, don’t you?”

Y/N rolls her eyes. “Really? It took George almost dying for you to realize that? Figured your first clue would have been all the times you heard us having sex. Or maybe the fact that I’ve been living with you guys for over a year now.”

“Okay, no need to be nasty,” Fred huffs. “Obviously I know you guys are in love with each other or whatever. But you’re like really in it, yeah? For the long haul. Thought maybe you guys shouting about how you’re going to be together forever was just some weird sex thing.”

“I mean it is a weird sex thing,” Y/N tells him, laughing as he grimaces. “But it’s more than that too obviously. There’s no person on this planet I’d rather be with than George. Or who I love more than George. He’s my everything, Fred. I’m not going to hurt him, I promise.”

“Better not,” Fred mumbles with a scoff. “I’ll curse you into next week if you do, bloody girl or not.”

Y/N can hear the smile in Fred’s voice, but before she gets a chance to respond George is heading over towards them, looking far too pleased with himself.

“Look at this, my brother and my girlfriend getting along, how cute,” he teases, wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist. She reaches up to fix his bandage where it slipped, and her gentle touch makes his knees feel weak. “Just in time too. Be a bit awkward for Fred to be my best man if you two hate each other still.”

“Who said I’d want to be your best man anyway, git?” Fred jokes. “All this wedding crap is for the birds.”

George rolls his eyes fondly, pressing a kiss to the top of Y/N’s head. “Fine, I’ll just ask Ron or Harry or Lee. Maybe even Charlie. You’re not the only man for the job, Freddie.”

“But I’m the best man for it,” Fred responds, causing both Y/N and George to groan at his lame joke. “Try and replace me as your best man again and you’ll never hear the end of my cheesy jokes, moron.”

“No need to be feisty, I was just playing. Of course, you’re the only man for the job.”

Now Fred will never get to be the best man at their wedding. Or be there when their children are born. Or have children of his own. Just like how Y/N and George planned out their lives, he and Fred had done the same. Buying houses next to each other so they never had to travel far to see the other. They both wanted to have a boy first, close in age, so they each had someone to hand the joke shop down to. But in the blink of an eye all of that has changed, and Y/N doesn’t know if George will ever be the same again.

“You’re okay, George. It’s all gonna be okay,” Y/N coos, just wanting to calm him down. She presses a few kisses to the side of his face slowly, just letting him know that she’s there. Her arms wind around his neck as George’s grip tightens on her waist and she just hugs him tightly.

Y/N hears someone sob behind her, and she releases George so he can pull Ron into a bone crushing hug. She pulls Ginny into a hug next, letting the younger girl rest her head on her shoulder. Y/N isn’t officially a Weasley, not by any means, but this family has shown her nothing but love and welcomed her with open arms and she wants to do everything she can to help them through this. She and Hermione lock eyes, and Y/N can tell by the way the other girl is hovering on the edge of the circle with her hand on Ron’s shoulder she feels the same way.

Harry is hovering just behind Hermione, but instead of coming closer like Y/N expects he turns on his heel and heads out of the Great Hall. Y/N knows that can only mean one thing. This battle is far from over, and she hugs Ginny just a little tighter, hoping it gives them both the strength to keep fighting.

The sun is already high in the sky when everyone makes it back to The Burrow. They’re living in a new world, a world that will never be plagued by Voldemort’s darkness, but it seems darkness of other kinds has already started to take its place. 50 people lost their lives that night alone, not to mention the countless others who’ve been lost along the way. Death has touched many families in the Wizarding World, and everyone can feel its burden as they collapse into chairs at the kitchen table.

Molly starts worrying about food and making everyone tea, while George shuffles up the stairs without bothering to say anything. They all had lingered in the Great Hall for as long as they could, not wanting to leave Fred’s body there alone. It wasn’t until people from St. Mungo’s showed up to take away the dead that Molly and Arthur suggested they all head home, and Bill and Charlie had to practically drag George away from Fred. He barely even looked at anyone as they started to apperate home, and when Y/N tried to grab his hand he shoved her off.

Y/N tried not to take it personally, obviously George is going through the hardest moment of his life, but she couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. Her and George are supposed to be there for each other through everything, and it makes her chest ache that in the time where he needs people the most he’s pushing her away.

“He’ll come around,” Charlie whispers, nudging Y/N’s knee with his. She finally looks away from the staircase, trying to return his warm smile. “Fred and,” he starts, pausing to clear his throat. “George is tough, probably the toughest guy I know, and I’ve seen some things in Romania. He just needs a bit of time.”

“Thanks, Charlie.” Y/N takes a sip of her tea, just needing something to distract herself. It’s still fairly hot and the liquid burns the roof of her mouth, but the uncomfortable feeling of her singed tongue is a welcome distraction from the pain in her chest, and Y/N takes another sip.

“Y/N dear, why don’t you go ahead and owl your parents? I’m sure they’re waiting to hear from you,” Molly suggests, before turning back to whatever she has cooking on the stove.

Y/N rests her mug back on the table and plays with the sleeves of her jumper, trying to fight the tears that threaten to spill over her cheeks. “They’re um. They died actually. About three months ago now I think.” The kitchen goes still, and Y/N drops her gaze to the table as everyone turns to look at her. “They wouldn’t let me move them to a safe house, they kept going on about how they weren’t afraid of Voldemort, that they weren’t going to let him force them out of their house. But when death eaters come knocking you either join or die, so.”

Her parents may have refused to be moved to a safe house, but they allowed Y/N to set up an undetectable communication system, so they could at least keep in touch. When her parents went more than eight hours without responding to her last message Y/N started to freak out, and she convinced Remus to go with her to check on them. They were sitting on the couch as if they had simply fallen asleep together, but Y/N could tell something much sinister had happened. She managed to find their house elf Marjorie hiding in the garden shed, and she told Y/N everything that had happened. How people in masks had shown up and when her parents refused to leave with them jets of green light came from their wands. Y/N ended up being called away on a mission, and her parents were buried in the small cemetery at the end of their road, with no one in attendance but the grave digger.

Y/N can feel arms wrap around her, and she presses her face into Ginny’s neck finally letting herself cry. There wasn’t proper time for her to mourn her parents, not in the middle of the war, and as Ginny squeezes her tight Y/N finally lets the emotions that have been building inside of her for the past three months spill out. “They were my only family. And now they’re just gone and I’m all alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Ginny coos quietly, rubbing her back. “We’re your family too.”

George barely gets out of bed for days. The only times he moves are to shuffle to the loo or when Y/N or Molly is forcing him to drink water or eat something. His eyes are blank, lifeless and Y/N hasn’t heard him speak since the battle. He doesn’t even make sounds when he cries anymore, the tears just run down his face as he takes shaky breaths.

And as much as it pains Y/N to see George like this, pains them all to see him like this they just let him be. Of course, they all feel Fred’s death. But no one, not even Y/N can fathom what Fred’s death feels like to George. So they let him lay in Fred’s old bed, stopping in to check on him periodically throughout the day and talk to him even though he never talks back. And every night before she crawls into George’s old bed Y/N is sure to kiss George on the top of his head and whisper how much she loves him before going to sleep alone.

The first day they actually force him out of bed is the day of Fred’s funeral. Bill and Charlie pick him up under the armpits and deposit him in the bathroom where Y/N is waiting, situating him in the empty tub. Y/N gives them both an appreciative smile before they leave, and as soon as the door is shut tight behind them she turns to George.

“Gotta get you undressed, okay bub?” she asks softly, kneeling down next to the tub. George keeps his eyes facing forward but gives a little nod, and Y/N takes it as her cue to get him undressed. Once she’s gotten rid of his clothes Y/N lets the tub start to fill up with water, and she runs her hand through his hair, scratching at his scalp as they wait for it to finish.

Y/N washes George quickly, just talking to him about whatever things come to mind. At one-point George reaches up and cups her cheek and Y/N can’t help but lean into his touch. It’s the first contact he’s initiated since they left Hogwarts, and it makes butterflies erupt in her stomach.

Once George is clean Y/N drains the tub and uses a spell to dry George off before pulling a fresh pair of boxers up his legs. “Your suits in your room. Do you want me to get Bill and Charlie or will you be okay going on your own with me?”

All George does is make a noise in the back of his throat, but he starts to stand up then, so Y/N lets him move, following behind him back into his and Fred’s old room. Molly is standing in the hallway, and she and Y/N share a hopeful look before they disappear into the room. This is the most life George has had in him since Fred’s death, and Y/N hopes this means they’re on the road to recovery.

“I got you a new suit,” Y/N tells him as he takes a seat on his bed and she heads over to the wardrobe to grab it from where it’s hanging. Her and Molly had gone to the flat above Wheezes the day before to grab some things for the both of them, but the main thing they needed was something for George to wear. The only formal clothes he has at the Burrow are the dress robes he wore to the Yule Ball, so they needed to get him something.

But as they examined George’s closet they mostly found t-shirts and sweaters, nothing proper for him to wear at a funeral. Turns out the only suits George owns are the few he rotates between for work, and when Molly had reached in to grab one Y/N put her hand out to stop her. Because all of those suits have a matching one hanging in Fred’s closet across the hall. And even though George isn’t ready to jump back into work Y/N knows that he will be, someday. And she doesn’t want any one of these suits to be tainted with the memories of Fred’s funeral. Not when they already hold so many happy memories. Memories of the first day the store was open, of all their late nights brainstorming new products or dealing with paperwork. Y/N had seen George at his happiest while wearing those suits, had watched him and Fred share mischievous smiles as their dreams became a reality. Someday George will step into one of those suits again, and Y/N doesn’t want the first thing he thinks about to be Fred’s funeral.

She gets George dressed quickly, pressing a lingering kiss to his forehead once it’s done. “I love you, George. And I know you love me too, even if you can’t say it right now, okay? I’m here for you always. No matter what.” Y/N goes over to the desk in the corner and grabs the teapot pin she bought for George all those years ago. It feels thin and flimsy in her hand, and she almost feels silly as she pins it to his jacket. Like she’s still that eager teenager, shopping in London with her Mum for the perfect gift to give the boy of her dreams that she loves with her whole heart. But it’s their promise of forever, and Y/N thinks George needs that now more than ever.

Fred’s funeral is packed, which is a surprise to no one. Fred was magnetic and left an impression on everyone he ever came in contact with. Y/N stays by George’s side, greeting everyone that comes to talk with them. Most of their classmates show up and Y/N even recognizes a few regulars from the joke shop. Even Professor Slughorn shows up, despite the fact that he never taught Fred, and Y/N is pretty sure she catches McGonagall wiping away a few tears out of the corner of her eye.

Andromeda comes through with baby Teddy in her arms, and even George cracks the faintest of smiles when the sparse hair on his head turns bright orange. The only time Y/N leaves George’s side is when Lee shows up and she goes to stand with Ginny and Harry who are comforting a teary-eyed Oliver Wood so that the two friends can have a moment alone. George doesn’t say anything, but when Lee goes to sit down George has tears running down his cheeks and Y/N goes back to his side so she can wipe them away.

Ginny ends up being the one to give the Eulogy. Both Bill and Charlie had tried, but every time they sat down to write something they just couldn’t get the words out. Percy had declined his dad’s offer, still too unsure of his place in the family and still too busy blaming himself to feel comfortable enough to talk about how much Fred meant to him. George had been the obvious choice, but he can’t even talk about the weather, and no one wanted to pressure him into doing something he wasn’t ready for. Ron had actually managed to write out a beautiful tribute with the help of Hermione, but two words in he got so emotional he started hyperventilating.

So, it fell onto Ginny’s shoulders to be the one to give the tribute to Fred. Y/N watches Ginny’s knees shake as she stands in front of her brother’s casket, her eyes never once straying to the cards in her hands. Her voice is clear and strong as she tells the story about the first prank she’d ever helped Fred and George pull off, but the tears streaming down her face glisten in the sunlight. Both Fred and George always held a soft spot for their younger sister, so as she stands up there and talks about how much she loved Fred it only seems right that Ginny be the one to say the final goodbye to him.

As Fred’s casket lowers into the ground everyone stands up, holding their wands high as they cast a bright white light into the sky. Y/N slips her hand into George’s, giving his fingers a tight squeeze as they give their final tribute to Fred. Ron waves his wand so a few whizbangs he and Harry had set up can go off. They had found them in Fred and George’s room so of course as they erupt into the sky the colors burst into a few different explicit words.

Everyone, even George, manages to laugh and it feels like the perfect way to send off Fred, the guy who dedicated his life to making people laugh and who died with his final smile still etched on his face.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay a bit longer?” Molly asks, placing her hands on Y/N’s shoulders. “It’s not a bother at all having you two here. It’s nice, to have the house a bit full again.”

Y/N nods, sparing a glance over her shoulder at George. He’s sitting on the arm of the sofa, listening to Ron chatter on about who knows what. It’s nearly June now, and while things with George have been progressing slowly, Y/N is optimistic that they’ll only get better as time goes on. He gets out of bed for short stretches of time now, and when you talk with him he actually seems like he’s listening. He’s said a few quiet things to both Molly and Y/N, but when the whole family is around he tends to just sit there and let everyone else do the talking for him.

Things have started to get back to somewhat normal for everyone, and Y/N decided it was time for her and George to do the same. Bill and Fleur are back at shell cottage, working hard to get Gringotts back in working order, and Charlie finally went back to Romania last week. Arthur and Percy will be back at the ministry next week, and even Harry and Ron will be joining them for their Auror training.

George isn’t ready to reopen the shop yet, but Y/N figures just being back in the flat will help him continue to heal. “I think some normalcy will help George. Get him in a routine, back to living his everyday life. We’ll be back plenty, but I think it’s time we go home.”

“My boy is in good hands with you, Y/N, that’s for sure.” Molly leans in and presses a kiss to Y/N’s forehead. “And you’ll owl? If anything happens?”

“Of course, Molly.” Y/N gives Molly a final smile before turning back to look at George. “You ready to go home, love?”

George nods and doesn’t say anything, but the corners of his mouth twitch up into a smile. He takes the hand that Y/N offers him, holding it loosely in his own. He still isn’t as physically affectionate as before, but Y/N is sure that with time everything will go back to how it was before.

“Are you going to get out of bed today?” Y/N asks, unable to stop the annoyance that creeps into her tone.

It’s nearly October now, and things with George have only seemed to stay the same, if not worse. Some days he gets out of bed and hangs out on the couch, flipping through muggle tv stations for hours on end, holding small conversations with Y/N when he feels up to it. Other days he lays in bed all day, or sometimes for days, his lips shut tight and him barely eating. Firewhiskey seems to be the main component of his diet and Y/N has no idea how he keeps getting more of it after she pours it down the drain, since he never leaves the house.

Everyone has been coddling George, and while Y/N can’t even imagine the pain George has been going through, she’s nearly reached the end of her rope. She’s brought in several different Wizard therapists to try and get George to open up, but each one just ended up leaving the flat after a frustrated hour of George not saying anything. She just wants to figure out some way to help him, and he’s been completely unresponsive in the whole thing.

“Maybe,” George mumbles, rolling onto his other side.

Y/N can hear the unmistakable sound of a Firewhiskey bottle opening and she flips the light on as she enters their room, heading over to George. “Where the hell do you keep getting this crap? Give me the bottle, George.”

George makes eye contact with Y/N as he takes a swig from the bottle, draining quite a bit of the amber liquid. It’s the only thing that has managed to make him feel something in the months since Fred’s death and he doesn’t care how much it bothers Y/N. “Last I checked you weren’t the boss of me,” George responds flatly before taking another drink.

The rude attitude is something new too. Along with his lack of physical affection, some days when George finds the energy to talk his tone is always crass. He’s never said anything horribly mean, but the way he says things never fails to cut Y/N deeply.

“I’m just trying to help you, George,” Y/N reminds him, softening her tone.

George scoffs and tosses the now empty bottle onto the floor. “Well no one asked you to.”

“Because that’s what you do when you love someone, George. You’re there for them no matter what.” Y/N waits for George to say something, and when he doesn’t she lets out a soft sigh. “I’m worried about you, Georgie. You barely get out of bed anymore, you’re not eating. I can’t even imagine the pain you’ve gone through these months. But it’s been nearly six months, love. And Fred wouldn’t want-.”

“Don’t. Don’t talk about him like you knew him. You and Fred had one civil conversation over a year ago. You have no idea what Fred wanted,” George says harshly, cutting Y/N off.

Y/N can feel tears pricking the corners of her eyes and she takes a deep breath to try and calm down. She knows this isn’t George talking, it’s the alcohol and the grief, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “I get your upset George, I lost people I cared about too. But I don’t get all this anger. Why are you so mad at me? Is it something I said? Something I did? Just talk to me George, please.”

“You want me to talk? Fine, I’ll talk.” George sits up and crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes narrow as he looks at Y/N. “It’s all your fault, he’s dead because of you. I should have been with Fred. I could have cast a protective spell or pulled him out of the way. And he’d still be here. But I wasn’t with him. You know why? I was faffing about the castle looking for you, saving you. When I should have been with Fred.”

Y/N can feel hot tears running down her cheeks, and her fingers shake as she reaches up to wipe them away. “What are you saying, George? That you regret trying to find me? That you regret saving me? That you would go back and let Adrian kill me so you could save Fred?” Y/N pauses to swallow the lump in her throat. “You wish it had been me who died, don’t you?”

George doesn’t say anything, but it’s answer enough for Y/N. “Fuck you, George. I’ve spent the past five months of my life giving you my everything. Trying to help you, trying to make you feel better. And you’ve been what? Laying there wishing it had been me instead of Fred?” Y/N can feel her heart shattering as George just continues to look at her, the same cold expression on his face as before. “Well I’m done. With helping you, with coddling you. With everything.”

She can feel the necklace George gave her pressing against her skin, and while it’s normally a comforting feeling, now it feels as if it’s burning her skin and she reaches up, tearing it from around her throat. It’s the first time she’s taken it off since George gave it to her and as she looks at it in her hand Y/N wants to put it right back on. But instead she throws it at George. It lands on his legs, and they both just stare at it for a moment.

“Take your promise of forever and shove it up your ass, George. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything, more than I’ve ever loved myself. But clearly you don’t feel the same way and I’m not going to spend the rest of my life pretending that it doesn’t kill me inside that you don’t love me the same way I love you.”

Without another word Y/N storms out of their bedroom and out of the flat, unsure of where she’s going to go next.

“You look dreadful,” Percy says honestly when George opens the door. His eyes are red with dark circles underneath, his hair is a mess and the pajamas he’s wearing are wrinkled and creased from him tossing and turning in his sleep.

Y/N had sent an owl to the Burrow after she ended things with George, and Percy had been the one to volunteer to visit George to try and talk to him. He gave him a few days to think about things before deciding to come and see him after work one day. The war took enough from George, and Percy couldn’t sit back and let George destroy one of the last good things in his life.

“What do you want?” George asks flatly, shuffling over towards the couch. He’s felt sick to his stomach since the moment Y/N walked away from him. He was angry and kind of drunk and sad when they fought, and George hadn’t meant a word of what he said to her. But he needed a way to get her to leave. Because George doesn’t know when he’ll ever feel normal again, when he’ll be able to love her properly again, and watching her throw her life away to help him fight a losing battle was getting to be too much.

It started two weeks ago, on one of his good days. He woke up in the morning feeling like himself, feeling like he did before the battle of Hogwarts. George had finally had a dream, not a nightmare or darkness in his eyelids while he slept. It was an actual dream, and when he opened his eyes in the morning the images of him running around a backyard with a redheaded toddler on his shoulders were still fresh in his mind.

And when he made it out into the kitchen where Y/N was making breakfast, she looked gorgeous and the smile on her face when George greeted her was bright enough to light up the world. He finally felt like things were going to be okay. He didn’t feel haunted by the closed bedroom door down the hall. George felt like he was ready, ready to get his shit back together and give Y/N everything he’d ever promised her.

But then he found it in the trash. A letter from the head Healer at St. Mungo’s. She was inviting Y/N to come back into the Healer program, to finish the training she started before the war. All she had to do was send a letter back confirming her reenrollment. But judging by the fact that she hadn’t mentioned anything, and the letter was in the trash, George figured Y/N wasn’t going to reenroll. It killed him that she was giving up on her dream to stay there with him--he was having a good day, but George knew that tomorrow, he could wake up and be right back to struggling to get out of bed. Y/N wanted to be a healer long before George occupied any of her thoughts, and he couldn’t let her throw that away.

So that day, he decided it was best if he let her go. Y/N had given up a lot for George already. His insecurities back at Hogwarts led her away from her best friends, his grief stopped her from dealing with the loss of people she cared about, and now, his inability to get his shit together was going to stop her from fulfilling her dream--the dream that made George start to fall in love with her in the first place. He couldn’t let her give up more of her life than she already had.

When Y/N tried to talk to him that day, he let whatever vile words he could think of spill out of his mouth. Seeing her so hurt, so broken, crushed whatever part of his soul was left, and he couldn’t let her keep living that way. But seeing her tear that necklace off broke something inside of George. He finally felt something other than numbness, and it was complete and utter pain. It felt like his heart was torn from his chest when Y/N slammed the door behind her, and even though George knew not being with him is what’s best for Y/N, his heart still beats for her and he’s sure it always will.

Percy sighs and follows George over to the couch. “What’s going on with you, George? You’re not acting like yourself.”

“I wonder why,” George responds, watching Percy sink into one of their armchairs. It’s weird, seeing him here. Percy barely wanted to enter Fred and George’s bedroom when they lived at home together, so he knows something must really be bothering him if he decided to come to the flat to see George.

“This isn’t about Fred,” Percy starts, holding up his hand to keep George from responding. “I’m not saying that you’re not still upset about him or that your grief isn’t valid. I’m talking about Y/N. She owled Mum about what you said. And while I imagine you’re still very hurt, we all are, I know you would never say anything like that to her. I’m not going to pretend that I know what your relationship with her was like, but I know you, George. And I saw the way she took care of you after what happened. So I know there’s no way you could have meant those things you said to her.”

“I’m not good enough for her anymore,” George says suddenly after a few minutes of silence. “I’m broken, damaged goods. And Y/N deserves the world. She was wasting her life sitting here and taking care of me. I couldn’t let her do that anymore.”

“George you’re not broken, or damaged. You’re healing, there’s a difference. And keeping all of this in is certainly not helping.” Percy sits back and just watches George for a moment. “We talked, down in the kitchen that first night after the battle, Y/N and I. I couldn’t sleep and she came down for some water. We were talking, and I asked her what changed, how she went from hating your guts to looking at you like you’re the only person in the world. Do you wanna know what she said to me?”

When George just shrugs Percy leans forward so he can look at George better. “She told me about the night in detention. About how you guys had an actual conversation for once. And that you made her feel like someone was actually listening to her. That you validated her dreams and made her feel like they were attainable. Y/N said that she told you stuff she never even told her closest friends, because just being around you made her feel safe, like she could be vulnerable around you.”

George thinks about that first night in detention often. After that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N. He even remembers having a dream about how nice her hair smelled, and how good it would have felt to run his fingers through it. He thinks about that night in the broom closet too, hiding from McGonagall; he’d wanted to kiss her so badly, being so close to her made his knees shaky and his chest tight. George had planned on kissing Y/N that night when he dropped her off at the Slytherin common room, until Umbridge had run into them. When they finally had their first kiss a few nights later in that secret passageway, George knew that from that moment on, he couldn’t live without Y/N.

“Why are you telling me this? It doesn’t matter now.”

Percy sighs. “I’m telling you this because you need to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable with Y/N. Keeping all of this in is only hurting the both of you, George. She very clearly loves you, and I know you must love her too if you’re willing to be miserable for the rest of your life to make her happy. But you can both be happy, George. Happy together. You just need to, and pardon my language, take your head out of your ass.”

George chuckles at that. “Wow, Perc, you must be serious, I’ve never heard you say anything so lewd.”

“Yeah well I slacked on my big brother duties for a few years, I figured it’s time to make up for it.” Percy pauses, pursing his lips. “Y/N’s staying at her parent’s house, getting it all cleaned out. Think about what you’re gonna say and then go over and apologize to her. You deserve to be happy, George. Fred would want you to be happy.”

It takes a few days and a visit from his Mum to get his haircut, but George gets his shit together so he can go and talk to Y/N. He spent quite a long time trying to figure out what to say to her, and while it’s not exactly perfect it’s what George feels and that’s what matters to him. Because there’s no doubt in his mind that Y/N is the only person he wants to be with for the rest of his life, and he shouldn’t let his inability to express his thoughts get in the way of that. They’ve already been down that road together before, and George vowed to spend forever with Y/N and he still plans on making good on those promises.

He pushes the front door right open, letting the noise of Y/N muttering to herself as she shuffles things around lead him to where she is. He finds Y/N digging through the drawers of the dresser in her childhood bedroom. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt that George thinks used to be in his closet and her hair is tied up on her head. George can feel his legs shaking as he leans up against the doorway, and he takes a deep breath to calm himself down.

“Hey, teacup.”

Y/N jumps at the sound of George’s voice and she spins to face the door, her hand clutching her chest. “For Merlin’s sake, George. You scared the shit out of me.” She can feel her heart racing in her chest, and it’s not from the fright George just gave her. He looks good, like his normal self and it feels like she’s seeing him for the first time. Molly has definitely cut his hair recently, and even though he’s still in comfy clothes the Gryffindor t-shirt and sweatpants he’s wearing are uncreased and look like they’ve been washed recently.

“Sorry, love, thought you heard me when I came in.” George bites his lip, fiddling with his thumbs. “You doing okay?”

Y/N shrugs, looking down at the floor. George is the last person she expected to show up here, and she’s not sure how she feels about it. He’s been on her mind since the moment she walked out the door of their flat last week, and the last words he spoke to her have been running on a constant loop in the back of her mind. She’s still so angry and hurt over what he said, but Y/N would be lying if she said every cell in her body isn’t screaming at her to just go up and hug him.

“I’ve been doing better, than before,” George continues when she doesn’t say anything. “Percy came to talk to me a few days ago, made me realize what an ass I was. Though I must say he was much nicer than Ginny was when she did the same thing a few years ago.” He lets out a breathy chuckle, and his stomach flips when Y/N looks back up at him with a small smile. “I owe you probably the biggest apology I’ll ever give in my entire life and I’d love to give it to you if you’d let me.”

It reminds Y/N of that day on the train when their only problems were jealousy and what house table they should eat dinner at. Y/N instinctively reaches up to grab the charms of her necklace, her hand faltering when all she meets is the cloth of her shirt. It’s something she’s done several times in the days it’s been since she ripped the piece of jewelry off, usually when she was missing George and wanted to feel like a piece of him was still nearby.

“I guess that’s something I could do,” she says quietly, going to take a seat on the edge of her bed. She pats the spot next to her, encouraging George to come sit. His hands are shaking as he comes and sits down, and it takes all of Y/N’s restraint to not reach out and grab one of them.

“I lied to you. I don’t blame you, for what happened to Fred. And I don’t regret anything I did that night. If it had been you who died instead of Fred I don’t think I would have been able to carry on with my life. Because Y/N you are quite literally the only reason why I wake up every morning, you’re the reason why I have the energy to get out of bed somedays, and the reason why I feel okay when I don’t. Falling in love with you, being with you has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

George reaches up to wipe away a few of the tears Y/N has started to shed, his fingers trembling as they softly press against her cheek. “And even though I haven’t been the best person to be around lately, you’ve been by my side through everything. You’ve been so patient and understanding, way more than I deserve. You put your life on hold to help me, and I’ve been rejecting all of your efforts. I don’t know how to do all of this. How to grieve and handle my emotions. Talk about my emotions. And instead of just trying I’ve been keeping them all in, letting them settle in me and get worse. I haven’t felt like myself in months, haven’t allowed myself to. And yet every day you were there, with a smile and a reassuring touch, telling me how much you love me. I started to feel guilty, so overwhelmingly so it felt like my chest was going to cave in. Because there you were, putting your life on hold, giving up your dream to try and help me and I couldn’t even manage to tell you how much I love and appreciate you.”

Y/N reaches up and wipes away a few of George’s tears this time, letting her fingers gently caress his cheek. “George I didn’t mind, doing all of that for you. That’s what you do when you love someone. You make sacrifices, change your plans. I would give up everything to be there for you.”

“That’s why I said all of those things to you, Y/N. Pushed you away, forced you to leave. Because I don’t want you to give up everything to be with me.” George cups Y/N’s cheek gently so he can look her in the eyes. “You deserve to have everything you’ve ever wanted in life, and you deserve to have a partner that can be there for you. That can support you fully in everything you do. And I didn’t think I could be that person for you.”

“Didn’t think you could be? Or don’t think you could be?” Y/N asks through her sniffles.

“Didn’t,” George confirms, his voice serious. “Because living without you, even for a few moments was the most intense pain I have ever felt. And even though I don’t know when I’ll feel completely back to normal there are a few things I do know. I know that I love you. And I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know I want to support you and be there for you in everything you do. And I know that I want to try and be better for you. And for me. Most importantly I know that I want you, forever. I want all those things I promised you, the stupid diamond and the wedding and the seven ginger babies. I know that I actually want to live my life, not just watch it pass me by. And the only person I want to do that with is you.”

George pauses to dig around in the pocket of his sweatpants, and a moment later he pulls out Y/N’s necklace. Except this time along with the teapot and G charm, there’s a simple diamond ring hanging from the chain. “So I am so, so sorry for treating you the way I have, the way I did. And teacup, if you’ll let me, I promise to cherish you and support you and love you forever.”

It’s not the way Y/N ever imagined this moment would take place, but as she surges forward to kiss George properly for the first time in months, it feels absolutely perfect. She knows that they have a long road of healing and mending ahead and that their lives will probably never be the way they imagined them. But none of that matters. All Y/N needs and has ever needed is George. “Of course, George. There is no one else I want to spend forever with.”

George lets Y/N pull him into another kiss as he fumbles with the necklace, trying to get the ring off so he can slip it onto her finger. She starts to kiss down his neck, and George lets out a soft moan as he finally gets the ring in his hand. “Hang on teacup, wait a minute.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Y/N mumbles as she pulls away, her cheeks flushed pink. “It’s fine if you’re not ready to we can wait for as long as you want I just figured that-.”

George cuts her off with a laugh. “Oh no that’s not what I meant, Y/N. I am more than ready to be with you like that again. I just wanna put your ring and your necklace on first.”

“Oh right I kinda forgot about that,” Y/N says with a giggle, holding her left hand out for George. Between the war and George’s grief they haven’t been intimate in well over a year now, and Y/N’s fingers stopped being sufficient long ago so in her haste to get George into bed she completely forgot about the ring.

“You can’t not have your ring on the first time we do it as an engaged couple,” George teases as he slides the ring down her finger. The diamond glistens in the sunlight streaming in through the window and to George it looks as if the ring was made to be on Y/N’s finger.

Y/N examines the ring up close for the first time as she turns around so George can clasp her necklace back around her neck. It’s simple, but gorgeous and everything she’s ever wanted in an engagement ring. George finally gets the clasp of the necklace closed and Y/N shivers as the cool metal settles against her skin. A moment later George’s warm mouth is pressing kisses into her skin and she lets out a quiet noise.

“I missed you so much,” George murmurs as he turns Y/N back around, kissing her softly. He starts to slowly lay her back against the pillows as their mouths move together, crawling on top of her. “You did such a good job taking care of me, teacup. Now it’s my turn to take care of you.”

George helps Y/N out of her top before he starts to slowly kiss down her neck, his hands slowly rubbing up and down her sides. It’s been far too long since he showed Y/N just how much he loves and appreciates her, and he plans on making up for it now. He moves his lips down her chest, taking one of her nipples between his lips. The tip of his tongue flicks at the sensitive bud for a moment before he sucks on it gently.

“Oh, George,” Y/N moans, tangling one of her hands in his hair. She tugs on it lightly as her hips move off of the bed to grind up against George’s. She can already feel her arousal pooling in her panties and she’s ready for more.

“God you are gorgeous,” George murmurs before capturing Y/N’s other nipple in his mouth and giving it the same treatment as the other. “I don’t deserve you,” he mumbles into her skin as he starts to kiss down her stomach. “You are perfect in every way, Y/N.”

“I love you,” Y/N tells George quietly as he gets rid of her bottoms, lifting her hips up to help him. She shivers as she rests back against the bed, completely bare for him. His gentle touch on her knees makes goosebumps rise on her skin, and she lets out a whine as he spreads her legs open.

“I love you too, teacup. So much. More than anything in the world.” George starts to kiss Y/N’s inner thigh, leading a trail up to her dripping cunt. He pauses to suck a mark onto the inner most part of her thigh, just a few centimeters away from where she needs him most. George brings two fingers to her cunt, spreading her wetness around as he rubs through her folds.

Y/N’s hips grind down against George’s gentle touch, and she tugs on George’s hair when he chuckles. “Please, George. I need you.”

George slips two fingers into Y/N’s cunt as his lips attach to her clit, moaning against her when walls clench around his digits. He sucks on her clit gently, slowly moving his fingers in her, curling them with every push back into her entrance.

“Oh yes, Georgie, fuck. Feels so good,” Y/N groans, her hips starting to grind down against George’s face and hands. She spreads her legs even wider, whining when the fingers of George’s free hand dig into her thigh.

“Such a good girl for me, teacup,” he praises, pressing a wet kiss to her clit. He starts to move his fingers faster, scissoring his fingers to help stretch her and get her ready for his cock. “Making such pretty noises for me, just like you always do.”

Y/N lets out a low moan as George reattaches his mouth to her clit, bringing her free hand up to pinch at her nipples. She can already feel the familiar heat of an orgasm building in her stomach, and her toes curl as George’s tongue starts to trace patterns over her clit. “Love being your good girl, George. Always wanna be your good girl.”

George hums as he sucks Y/N’s clit harder, fucking his fingers back into her cunt harder. Her walls are clenching and twitching around him, and George has to grind his hips against the bed to get some relief on his aching cock.

“So close George, fuck,” Y/N moans, her toes curling as George’s fingers brush her g-spot once again. She can feel shocks of pleasure radiating through her cunt as her orgasm approaches, and she starts to move her hips sloppily, chasing her climax. “Can I cum? Please Georgie, wanna cum. Wanna be a good girl,” she babbles, tugging on George’s hair.

George takes his mouth away from her cunt and starts to rub harsh circles on Y/N’s clit. “Go on, darling. Want you to be a good girl and cum for me.”

With a few more pumps of George’s fingers Y/N is cumming, her thighs trembling as pleasure washes over her in waves. She can see stars behind her eyes, and she doesn’t even realize that she’s moaning loudly until George is kissing her and the room gets infinitely quieter.

George rubs Y/N’s hips soothingly as she comes down from her high, his lips gently pressing to her neck in a series of slow kisses. “Do you have any idea how fucking hot you sound when you’re moaning like that for me?” he asks, pulling away so he can look into Y/N’s eyes.

“I could wager a guess,” Y/N responds playfully, pulling George down into a kiss. She slowly starts to sit up as George deepens their kiss, letting out a moan against his mouth. Y/N trails one of her hands down George’s chest to his crotch, palming his erection through the fabric of his sweatpants. “Is this another present in your pants for me?” she teases, nipping at George’s lips.

“Why am I marrying you again?” George teases as he pulls away so he can take his t-shirt off. He gets off the bed then and starts to get rid of his bottoms, pulling them down slowly to tease Y/N.

“Georgie,” Y/N whines at his teasing, jutting her lower lip out into a pout. She gets up onto her knees and wraps one of her hands around the back of George’s neck as the other reaches down to wrap around his cock. Y/N pulls George down into a hot kiss as she starts to stroke him, her thumb swirling around the tip to collect the precum dribbling out, helping her hand to glide easier.

George kicks his bottoms off as Y/N strokes him, moaning into her mouth. “Godric I missed this. Missed you, teacup. I can’t believe I get to have you for the rest of my life.” He crawls back onto the bed as he kisses Y/N again, sitting down with his back against the headboard. His hands settle on Y/N’s hips and he pulls her so that she’s straddling his waist. “You gonna show me how much you missed me too?”

Y/N reaches behind her to grip George’s cock and she lets out a whine as she teases her slit with the tip. She lets George pull her into another kiss as she starts to slowly sink down, but it falls apart as her hips move and her mouth drops open to let out a few pants. “So fucking full,” she groans as their thighs meet, her hips rocking slightly now that George is fully inside of her.

“Fuck your cunt is tight,” George moans, digging his fingers into Y/N’s hips. Her walls are pulsating around him and he can’t help but jut his hips upwards. Being buried inside of Y/N feels like pure ecstasy to George, and it takes all of his restraint not to just flip them over so he can fuck into her hard. “How do I feel, teacup? You like the way my cock fills you up?”

“George,” Y/N moans as she starts to rock in his lap, moving her hips in tight circles as she grinds down into him. She can feel George deep inside of her, and the way his cock brushes her g-spot with every moment causes pleasure to radiate through her core. “Feels good, so good. Missed being,” Y/N pauses to moan as George starts to help guide the movements of her hips. “Missed being full.”

George presses his face into the crook of Y/N’s neck, letting out grunts against her skin as she starts to rock against him quicker. He starts to move his own hips up into her and her walls clamp around him even tighter. “You’re incredible,” he pants, pressing a kiss to her neck. George pulls away so he can look at Y/N leaning in to kiss her briefly. “Feel so fucking good, teacup. Riding me so well, Y/N. Being such a good girl for me.”

Y/N tips her head back and moans as she starts to move faster, desperately trying to cum again. Her clit is grinding against George with every movement and the way he’s stretching her out has gone straight to her head, and Y/N’s mind is clouded with pleasure. Maybe it’s because they haven’t been intimate like this in so long or because they’re engaged now but Y/N feels complete with George inside of her and she never wants it to end as she grinds down against him harder.

“Please George, please,” she begs breathily, digging her fingers into his shoulders.

“What do you want teacup?” George asks as he stats to thrust his hips up harder. Her walls twitch with every movement and he can already feel himself getting close to his release. “Whatever you want it’s yours.”

Y/N tilts her head forward so she can rest their foreheads together. She looks into George’s eyes and a shiver runs down her spine at how dark they are. “Just want you, Georgie. Please.”

George kisses Y/N desperately as he flips them over, pressing Y/N down into the mattress as he starts to slam his hips into her hard. “You’ve got me,” George promises as he brings one of his hands down to her core, starting to rub harsh circles on her clit. He braces himself on a hand above her shoulder and presses their foreheads together again so he can look into her eyes. “Forever, Y/N. I mean it this time. Forever.”

“Oh fuck, George,” Y/N moans as she cums, her legs winding around George’s hips to keep him in place, fucking her deep. Electric shocks of pleasure radiate through her body and her chest starts to heave with deep breaths as the pleasure washes over her.

Y/N’s walls tightening and pulsating around him pushes George over the edge, and he cums too, a cry of her name leaving his lips. He kisses her messily as his cock twitches inside of her, his hips slowly rolling to help them both of them through the tail ends of their orgasms.

“No,” Y/N whines when George moves to pull out, her legs tightening around his waist. “Not yet, George. Wanna be full with you for a bit longer.”

George chuckles and presses a kiss to Y/N’s sweaty forehead, carefully turning them on their sides so they can lay somewhat comfortably, his cock still buried deep inside of her. “Of course, teacup. Anything for you.”

“Forever, yeah?” she murmurs, clenching her walls around George.

He reaches a hand between them and presses the charms of Y/N’s necklace into her skin. “Forever.”

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world, did you know that Mrs. Weasley?” George asks with a dopey grin as he twirls Y/N around in a circle.

They decided to keep their wedding small. Partially to distract from the fact that Y/N really has no friends or family to invite. But mostly because they don’t need all the theatrics. It’s the middle of June, and the backyard of the Burrow is draped in twinkling lights, making the warm air seem as if it’s glowing as everyone talks or eats or dances. George had suggested they get married as quick as humanly possible. He even tried to convince Y/N that they should just get a marriage license from the ministry and get married right in Shacklebolt’s office before they even had the chance to tell anyone they were engaged.

But Y/N insisted that they have some sort of ceremony with their family. June seemed like the perfect opportunity, since both Ginny and Hermione would be done with school and Fleur would have already given birth to the first Weasley grandchild. Y/N also thought it would give George some more time to deal with his grief.

After he proposed George really did start doing better. He started getting out of bed every day and taking proper care of himself. Y/N encouraged him to reconnect with his family and friends, and they even started leaving the flat together at least once a week. George started seeing a wizard therapist, and as he learned how to identify and deal with his emotions, Y/N watched the light slowly come back to his eyes. By Christmas he was back to joking around again, and he even charmed some mistletoe so that the people who met underneath it wouldn’t be able to move unless they kissed.

In the new year Y/N reenrolled in her Healer training program, and while being by himself again gave George a bit of anxiety, he packed a lunch for her and sent her off with a kiss on the cheek and a smile. And it worked out in the end, because George found himself so stir crazy without Y/N around that he managed to go back down in the joke shop. Y/N ended up finding him sitting in the office when she got home, some of Fred’s old notes clutched in his hand while he cried. She was worried that he would start to move backwards, but when George noticed her presence he opened up to her about how he was feeling instead of pushing her away. He managed to make the trek back down into the shop every day after that and now Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes will be back open for business on July first.

“You’re only saying that because it’s our wedding day, Georgie,” Y/N teases, titling her chin up so he’ll kiss her. George presses their lips together briefly and Y/N rests her head on his shoulder, watching Arthur twirl Molly around on the other side of the dancefloor.

George presses a kiss to the top of Y/N’s forehead before resting his cheek there. “You think that’ll be us in thirty years? Dancing like fools at our kids wedding?”

“I hope so. I reckon we’ll be those proper embarrassing parents, like the kinds who’s kids hate going out with them in public,” Y/N muses with a laugh.

“You mean like your parents?” George asks softly, pulling Y/N into his chest tighter. “Your cheeks were so red the first time I met them I thought you were gonna turn into a tomato.”

Y/N turns her face into George’s chest to hide the pink flush of her cheeks as the memory of George meeting her parents for the first time comes flooding back to the forefront of her mind.

“Not another one Mum, please,” Y/N begs before picking up a pillow off of the sofa and shoving her face into it to hide her embarrassment. All her mother does is grin as she comes back into the living room with another album full of pictures from Y/N’s childhood.

It’s easter break for Y/N, and it’s only been a few weeks since George and Fred had their grand exit from Hogwarts. While George has been busy getting ready for the joke shop’s grand opening, he agreed to come to dinner at Y/N’s house so he could finally meet her parents. He was a little nervous leading up to it, unsure of how Y/N’s parents would take to the fact that their daughter is dating a poor blood traitor who’s a recent school dropout, but the second he walked through the door all his worries washed away.

Y/N’s family manor is large, but yet somehow still feels like home. It’s bright and warm and feels lived in. Y/N’s mother had hugged him tightly as soon as he stepped through the door, and her dad playfully fell to his knees to bow down to George, making a joke about how gracious he was that someone fell in love with his smart ass daughter so he wouldn’t have to deal with her for the rest of his life. Y/N was standing just behind him looking as if she wanted the world to just open up and swallow her whole, but George found it hilarious and gave her dad a curtsey in response, telling him that her smart mouth would greatly reduce the dowry he’d be willing to pay.

Even Marjorie their house elf had teased Y/N a bit as she brought them all drinks in the parlor. She said something about how the photo Y/N keeps of George under her pillow certainly did not do him justice as he’s much more handsome in person and Y/N’s cheeks went so red it was as if she had spent hours outside in the cold. They had only been sitting down for a few minutes when the first photo album came out, and now George is about to start flicking through the fifth.

George laughs as he takes the book from Y/N’s Mum, trading her for the one he just finished flipping through. “Oh, come on, love. It’s only fair. Ginny tells you embarrassing stories about me all the time.”

“Yeah, pumpkin. It could be worse, I could have Marjorie go dig the old Muggle video player out and we could pop some of the home movies into it,” her Dad teases.

Y/N groans at that and she puts the pillow down so she can glare at her father. “Fine, fine, the photos can stay.” She leans her head against George’s shoulder as he starts to flip through the book, and she just barely sees her Mum bring the camera out from behind her back before she’s taking a picture. “Mum! We talked about this, you promised no photos!”

“Oh, come on, one photo never hurt anybody. You’ll be thankful I took this photo someday when you’re old and fondly reminiscing about your youth to your grandkids,” Y/N’s mother says, putting the camera down. “And it’ll be a nice visual aid when I tell the story about how embarrassed we made you tonight at your wedding.”

“Can we not with the wedding talk? George and I are barely eighteen.” Y/N hides her face in George’s neck, her cheeks heating up even further when George chuckles and turns his head so he can kiss her on the temple. Both of her parents let out an aw, and she picks up the nearest pillow to throw at them.

George laughs as Y/N faceplants onto her bed later that night. They’ve just finished dinner with her parents, and Y/N snuck them upstairs when her Mum went to go find another old photo album. “You regretting asking me to come to dinner?” he asks, sitting down next to Y/N.

She turns her head so she can glare at George, but it quickly turns soft when he starts to rub her lower back. “They promised me they’d be on their best behavior. Clearly they lied.”

“It’s cute, that they embarrass you or whatever. Clearly they love you a lot,” George responds softly, giving her a reassuring smile. “How much of our wedding do you think your Mum has planned?” he teases with a chuckle.

“Don’t joke about that, George. Knowing her the answer is probably the whole thing,” Y/N answers with a giggle. She rolls over onto her back so she can look up at George, letting one of her hands reach up to run through his hair. “I hope they didn’t scare you away with all of their baby photos.”

“Darling if Daphne Greengrass’ iciest glare doesn’t scare me a few photos of you with some missing teeth is nothing,” George reassures her. “Your Mum even had me mark some of my favorites for her to include in the wedding slideshow when you went to the loo.”

Y/N groans and places one of her pillows over her face, before deciding to hit George with it when he laughs at her pain.

“They were quite embarrassing. Though I wish we could have seen the slide show my Mum was gonna make. Bet your Mum would have added a fair few photos of you to the mix,” Y/N points out, grinning up at George.

George leans down and presses a kiss to Y/N’s forehead. “And half of them would have been of Fred I reckon, we were even harder to tell apart when we were babies.” He lets out a quiet sigh and kisses Y/N’s forehead again. “I wish he was here.”

“I know, Georgie.” Y/N squeezes George tighter for a moment, letting her eyes wander around the backyard. Ginny has a very excited Teddy Lupin on her shoulders, with both Harry and Andromeda laughing as the toddler’s face and hair changes into something new every few seconds. Bill and Fleur are in the corner trying to coax a restless Victorie to sleep and Charlie and Lee are taking shots together at one end of the bar. Percy is standing at the other end of it with Ron and Hermione, telling them a story about his new girlfriend, Audrey. “Percy did a pretty good job though, as best man. Don’t you think?”

Turns out the hardest decision in wedding planning was figuring out who the best man would be. Ginny was the natural choice for maid of honor, but it took George weeks to pick out his best man. Both Ron and Harry volunteered themselves for the role, and spent more time arguing with each other over why George should pick them rather than trying to convince George why they were the best choice. Charlie actually took himself out of the running, since he’d been Bill’s best man and didn’t want to take the opportunity away from another brother. And Lee was pretty chill about the whole thing, he was perfectly happy just to be the one in charge of the DJing.

Percy had been shocked when George asked him. Despite the fact that Percy had really tried to step back into the family after the war everyone could tell he still felt awkward. He was always the first to head home after family dinners, and the one who opted to sit on the single armchair rather than pile up with the others on one of the couches. At Christmas after he opened his Weasley sweater he excused himself to the bathroom, and they all pretended not to notice the red rims of his eyes when he came back. He always waited for someone to address him before he spoke, as if he thought no one cared about what he had to say. Most notably he always braced himself when someone brought up Fred, as if he was waiting for someone to shout at him for failing to save his brother.

But George had reassured him endlessly that he was the only person he wanted to stand up there with him while he promised Y/N forever. For one because Percy had been there for George during a time when he needed him most, and he gave George the push he needed to make things right with Y/N. George also ended up admitting later that him choosing Percy to be his best man would have annoyed Fred endlessly, and it made him feel like he was pulling one final prank on his brother.

George hums as he nods, letting go of Y/N briefly so he can twirl her around, before bringing her back against his chest. “Who knew he could be so funny? I’m pretty sure Ron nearly threw up from how hard he was laughing. It’s nice to see him be comfortable around everyone again. Feels like it did before, you know. That’s what I wanted, when I chose him. For him to feel like family again.”

“That’s actually really sweet of you, George. I’m sure Percy appreciates it,” Y/N murmurs, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Well it was either let him be the best man or name one of our kids after him, and I’m not sure I like the ring of Percy ll,” George says with a laugh.

Y/N rolls her eyes at that. “I’m revoking your naming privileges, George. You’re not allowed to name any of our eight ginger babies.”

“Eight? I thought we agreed on seven?” George asks with a soft chuckle.

“Well I decided I want eight. And a few hours ago, you stood up in front of our friends and family and promised to spend the rest of forever making me happy so it’s too late to take it all back,” Y/N states matter of factly, sticking her tongue out at George.

George shakes his head fondly and leans down to kiss Y/N slowly. “Fine, fine. Eight it is. Though we better start thinking about moving out of the flat then. Because if my height is anything to go by we’re gonna have some big babies, and I reckon we can only fit two or three of ‘em above Wheezes. And with the way you look tonight there’s no way there won’t be at least one more Weasley grandchild on the way when I’m done ravishing you.”

“How long do we have to wait?” George asks with a groan, flopping down onto the mattress.

“Three minutes. Same as when I told you before,” Y/N responds with an eye roll, throwing the empty pregnancy test box at George.

Despite George’s comments on their wedding night, it took them several months to even talk about getting pregnant. Once the joke shop reopened business was as good as ever. Even now eight months after reopening the store is still so busy that George has to sometimes eat his lunch while working the till or filling out paperwork. And once Y/N completed her Healer training she got stuck working the graveyard shift, so often the only time she and George saw each other was when one of them was coming home from work as the other was on their way to work.

Thankfully after a few months of hazing Y/N was switched to a much more reasonable shift, and she was back to spending most of her nights at home with George. It was then that they started discussing the next steps of their future, and both of them were set in the fact that they wanted to have a baby sooner rather than later. But they both decided to wait just a bit longer, until they had bought a house. Because even though they both love the flat above the joke shop, it’s just not big enough for a growing family.

Fred’s room hasn’t been touched since the Battle of Hogwarts. Y/N knows George has gone in there a few times, on the days when he misses his brother the most. But nothing has been moved or tidied up. There’re still shoes, and clothes and random papers all strewn about that George just hasn’t had the heart to get rid of. Y/N figures it helps George feel like Fred is still close by, so she doesn’t push him to clear it out. Except their bedroom in the flat was too small to have all the stuff needed for a baby, so they decided that a house would come before their family.

But as it turns out, there’s a possibility they’re happening at the same time. It took them a few months to find the right house, and with Y/N’s inheritance from her parents they were able to buy a nice piece of land out in the country with a beautiful house with enough room for the large family they both want. There’s a great little pond and a tire swing, and enough room for a Quidditch pitch too.

And Y/N had figured her missed period was due to the stress of the move. But a few days ago, she woke up from a dream covered in a cold sweat that made her start to think otherwise. Fred was there. He was in the field behind her and George’s new house running around in the warm summer sunshine, chasing after a little boy. And when the little boy finally turned to look at her, Y/N felt like she couldn’t breathe. His hair was the same color as her own, but his face was all George. The same deep brown eyes, the same light freckles dotted on the same pale skin. It was uncanny really, and when the boy finally noticed her he called her Mum and started running towards her. Just before Y/N could wrap her arms around him she woke up, her heart pounding and the image of the little boy still fresh in her mind. She decided then it was time to take a test.

“What a great way to spend the first night in our new house eh?” George asks with a nervous laugh, patting the spot on the mattress next to him.

“Certainly not the way I imagined us breaking in the new house,” Y/N responds with a laugh as she settles down on the mattress with him, the pregnancy test clutched in her hand. They barely have any furniture set up and their mattress is laying on the ground and yet they may need to start planning for a nursery.

George takes the pregnancy test from Y/N’s hand and puts it face down on the bed before he takes her face in his hands and kisses her softly. “I love you, teacup. And whether this test is positive or not I can’t wait to start our family.”

“I love you too, Georgie.” Y/N lets her eyes flutter shut as George presses a lingering kiss to her forehead, unable to stop herself from thinking about the time she and George first talked about having children.

“You still awake down there, teacup?” George whispers into the still air. He didn’t want to say anything and after falling asleep next to Y/N for the past year he’s gotten pretty good at telling if she’s asleep by the pace of her breathing. But the bandage wrapped around his right ear is making it hard to hear, and he needs to know if Y/N is still awake or not.

Y/N’s head pops up immediately and she looks over at George. “What’s wrong? Does your head hurt? It is bleeding?”

George chuckles and shakes his head, shutting his eyes when the room starts to spin. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Just an idiot, give me a minute.” Once George can no longer feel his heartbeat in his temples he opens his eyes and gives Y/N a reassuring smile. “Will you stop fussing? Mum’s done enough of that for you tonight.”

“I can’t help it, George. I thought you were gonna die.” Y/N’s voice cracks as the final word of her sentence falls from her lips, and she can feel the tears welling in her eyes.

The Battle of the seven Harrys had been a shitshow from the moment they left the ground. Y/N was riding a Thestral with Ron, and from the second they took off Death Eaters were everywhere. Luckily Ron is pretty talented with his defensive spell casting, and all Y/N really had to focus on was flying them back to the Burrow safely. Which was good, because the fight she’d gotten into with George earlier in the evening was still weighing heavily on her mind.

She wasn’t even supposed to be there. The original plan had been that Y/N would stay behind at The Burrow with Ginny and Molly, that way if anyone came back injured she’d be there to help assist Molly with any healing. But then Tonks announced that she’s pregnant and Y/N made Mad Eye Moody change the plan so Y/N could take her place during the actual mission. Which George was not happy about and they left the Burrow for Privet Drive still fuming from their fight.

“Teacup,” George coos, reaching out to stroke Y/N’s cheek. “You didn’t think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?” he teases, trying to get her to crack a smile. “Snivellous has wanted to take me out for years I reckon, it was only a matter of time before he tried.”

Y/N turns her head so she can kiss George’s palm lightly. “That’s not funny, George. You really could have died.”

“And you could have as well, Y/N,” George reminds her.

“Better me than Tonks,” Y/N mumbles, looking down at the floor.

“Don’t say that,” George responds firmly, gripping Y/N’s chin so he can make her look at him. There are tears spilling down her cheek, and George lets go of her chin so he can wipe them away with his thumb. Even in the dim light of the living room Y/N looks breathtakingly beautiful, and just the thought of living without her makes his stomach lurch. “Tonks is a big girl and would have been just fine going on the mission.”

“What if it was me? Hm?” Y/N asks, looking at George expectantly. “What if I was the pregnant one about to go on a mission that could kill me? Kill our unborn child? Wouldn’t you want someone to take my place?”

“Of course, I would, Y/N,” George chokes out around the few tears streaming down his cheeks. He’s not really sure when they started pouring out, but he imagines it was when Y/N mentioned their unborn child and death in the same breath. “But this is different.”

Y/N shakes her head. “How? How is Tonks being pregnant any different?”

“Because Tonks isn’t the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, Y/N. She’s not the person who I want to carry my children or raise my children with. It’s you.” George reaches down and grabs the charms of the necklace he gave Y/N, rubbing them between his thumb and his pointer finger. “When I gave you this necklace and promised you forever I meant it, teacup. I wanna marry you and have babies with you. And I can’t do that with you if you’re dead, can I?”

“You really think about all that stuff?” Y/N asks through her sniffles, her tone full of a mixture of surprise and disbelief. While she knows that her and George were both on the same page about starting a life together someday, she had no idea he was thinking that seriously about it. They’re just barely nineteen, and Y/N figured marriage and babies were far away in their future, so far away that they would never even cross George’s mind.

George motions for Y/N to come up and lay on the couch with him. “I’m not going to break. Get up here. I wanna hold you, teacup.” Once Y/N is settled on his chest, her head on his shoulder and their legs intertwined he continues. “Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about all that stuff. Like how we’re gonna get married someday. And live on a load of land somewhere. With some chickens and a dog. And a few ginger babies of course, can’t forget about them.”

Just George talking about them having children spikes Y/N’s heart rate, and she has to take a few deep breaths to try and calm herself down. “How many ginger babies are we gonna have?”

“Hm, I reckon maybe two or three? A boy first, and then a girl. And then I think another girl would be nice,” George explains, starting to slowly rub Y/N’s back. “Why, teacup? How many do you want?”

“At least four,” Y/N says seriously, tilting her head so she can look at George. “Two of each. Maybe even a set of twins. A mini Fred and George perhaps.”

George chuckles and leans down to kiss Y/N softly. “Really? You sure you could handle another set of me and Fred? We gave you quite a bit of hell back in our school days if you remember correctly.”

“Yeah and look at where we are now. Laying on a couch together talking about all the babies we’re gonna have,” Y/N points out with a chuckle. “Besides can you imagine McGonagall’s face when two mini versions of you show up at Hogwarts one day? Bet she’d quit on the spot.”

“Oh come on, good old Minnie loved us. And let’s not forget you caused a bit of trouble as well, Y/N. Just the thought of planting a garden still gives me nightmares after you dropped that load of Dragon Dung fertilizer on Fred and I,” George reminds her with a laugh.

“And you made my hair turn yellow for weeks! And made my tongue nearly explode,” Y/N counters. “You want me to list more? Because I can list more.”

“No it’s okay, I get the point.” George just sits there quietly for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Y/N’s weight on top of him. “Just promise me you’ll be careful out there, yeah? Can’t have our four ginger babies without you, Y/N.”

Y/N pulls George’s mouth down to hers again for a few moments. “You too, George. You’re kind of the whole ginger in the situation, so you’re pretty essential in the mix.”

“I promise,” George mumbles, pressing one more kiss to Y/N’s mouth.

“You think it’s been three minutes yet?” George whispers, bringing Y/N’s mind back to the present.

“Probably,” she responds, looking up at George. Y/N reaches up and touches his cheek softly. “You wanna do the honors?”

George reaches his hand out and grabs the pregnancy test, keeping it flipped upside down. “How about we look together?” When Y/N nods George brings the test in between them and he uses his free hand to grab one of hers. “On the count of three, yeah? One, two three.”

As soon as the last number leaves George’s mouth he flips the test over to look at the results. There’s two dark pink lines staring back at them, and her and George look back up at each other.

“What did the two lines mean again?” Y/N asks.

George frowns. “I was gonna ask you the same thing.”

They both start to throw their blankets and pillows away, trying to find where the box landed after Y/N threw it at George a few minutes ago. “Why didn’t you just buy the one with the words? You had to get the one you need a diagram to figure out.”

“I was overwhelmed, okay? I’ve never been in a muggle pharmacy before and there was like 25 different tests and I couldn’t tell the difference between them all and I just grabbed one at random,” George huffs. He feels his fingers skim over the cardboard box and his eyes light up as he grabs it. “Aha! Here it is!” George skims his eyes over the directions on the back a few times to make sure he fully understands them. “Two lines means pregnant.”

They both let out a small gasp as their eyes drop back down to the test still clutched in Y/N’s hand. The two lines look even more defined now that they know what it means, and when they make eye contact again there are tears pooling in both of their eyes.

“We’re pregnant?” Y/N asks breathily.

“Well I don’t know how pregnant I am. But you’re definitely pregnant,” George teases with a grin.

Y/N rolls her eyes and shoves George’s shoulder before she grabs it and pulls him into a kiss. “Can’t believe I’m having a baby with an idiot like you,” she mumbles between kisses.

“And I can’t believe I’m having a baby with a meanie like you,” George responds playfully, placing his hand on Y/N’s stomach. He spreads his fingers and presses down lightly, as if there’s something there for him to feel already. “I love you,” he murmurs, resting his forehead against Y/N’s.

“You talking to me or the baby?” she asks quietly, placing her hand on top of George’s.

“Both.”

Fred Weasley ll comes into the world amidst a flurry of chaos, and it only feels right considering who his namesake is.

The day started out like any other. With her maternity leave in full effect, Y/N decided to head to the joke shop with George. While she can’t do much of anything besides sit behind the till and ring customers out, it made her feel good to be helpful rather than just sitting around the house twiddling her thumbs waiting for George to get home. And she knew George liked the fact that he could keep an eye on her throughout the day.

The pain started not too long after opening. At first she just passed it off as normal pregnancy pains, because she was nearly full term and she couldn’t remember the last time she didn’t have a dull ache radiating through some part of her body. But by midafternoon the pain was radiating through her back and down into her pelvis and not even sitting down eased it. She tried to hide it from George, not wanting him to go into full panic mode during the workday. But then he noticed her wincing as she sat back down after lunch and George started keeping an annoyingly close eye on her.

And then her water broke. George was cleaning up around the checkout counter and some dust that had been kicked up irritated Y/N’s nose and she couldn’t help but sneeze hard. When the liquid first started to leak out she was mortified, figuring she’d just pissed herself. But then she stood up and a large flush of liquid came out along with the largest pain she’d ever felt in her lower half. Y/N and George had just stared at each other for a moment, before realization hit them both. Clearly this baby was coming and coming soon.

George had one of the shop employees send an owl to his Mum while he helped Y/N up the stairs, wanting to Floo them over to St. Mungo’s as quickly as possible. Every few steps they’d had to stop so Y/N could breathe through a contraction, and by the time they reached the fireplace in their old flat George was surprised the baby hadn’t slipped out yet. Except when he reaches into the bowl on the mantle to grab some Floo Powder his fingers didn’t find anything.

They’d had to shuffle their way through Diagon Alley to use the public Floo at the Leaky Cauldron, and by the time they reached St. Mungo’s Y/N was already on the verge of giving birth and both she and George were soaked to the bone from the torrential downpour the sky unleashed halfway through their journey.

Baby Fred was born as thunder started to rumble, and he let out his first cry just as a flash of lightening came crashing down. Y/N is sure both she and George were crying harder than the rain that was going on outside. Fred’s eyes were already open when the Healer placed him on Y/N’s chest, and he was blinking up at her with wide brown eyes. He was already the spitting image of his Father, but the tufts of hair coming out of his head more resembled the color of Y/N’s hair. And while Y/N has never been particularly confident in the magic of Divination, she felt deep in her chest that he was the little boy she’d seen in her dream.

“What’s on your mind, Dad?” Y/N asks George quietly with a grin. It’s well past midnight, and little baby Fred is sleeping soundly against Y/N’s chest. George has been sitting in the chair next to Y/N’s hospital bed for the past hour watching their son’s chest rise up and down slowly, a look of concentration on his face.

“You sure it’s okay we named him after Fred?” George asks, looking up at Y/N. “We could have named him after your Dad. I didn’t even think about that. I should have thought about that.”

Y/N chuckles and pats the edge of her bed carefully, inviting George to come and sit with her. “Can I tell you about a dream I had? I think it might make you feel better.”

“Was it a sexy dream?” George asks with a raise of his eyebrows as he comes and sits down with Y/N. He rests one of his hands on Fred’s back, lightly stroking it with his thumb.

“No, it was not a sexy dream you oaf,” Y/N responds with an eye roll. “It was a couple nights before we moved, before I knew I was pregnant. It was summertime, and I was out in the backyard at the house. And Fred was there. He was chasing this little boy around in that field, the one we turned into the Quidditch pitch. And the little boy, he had my color hair but his face, his face was all you George. And then he called me Mum, and ran towards me, but I woke up before he got to me.”

George just sits there for a moment, letting Y/N’s words sink in. He suddenly feels overcome with emotion as he thinks about what she said, and he has to wipe away a few of the tears that escape his eyes. “That’s funny you say that, because I had a similar dream to that the night we found out you were pregnant.”

Y/N raises her eyebrows as she looks at George. “Really? What happened?”

“I was back at the Burrow. It was empty, quiet. But I could hear a creaking noise. And I followed it all the way up the stairs, to Fred and I’s old room. It looked the same, except there was a rocking chair in the corner. And Fred was sitting in it, and he was rocking back and forth, holding a baby. We made eye contact, but he didn’t say anything. He just gave me a little wink and then I woke up.”

“I don’t know a lot about divination or dream analysis. I don’t really know if I believe in any of it either. But I have a feeling we had those dreams for a reason,” Y/N explains, reaching up to cup one of George’s cheeks. “Like that was Fred, I dunno. Hand picking his name sake or something. Someone just as mischievous as him. A little pay back for Percy being your best man, perhaps?”

George laughs quietly and reaches a hand up to grab Y/N’s intertwining their fingers and giving them a soft squeeze. “You know what, teacup. I think you’re right. I have a feeling we’re in for a wild ride. And I can’t wait.”

And what a wild ride it is.

By the time George and Y/N are celebrating their 10-year wedding anniversary their house is steadily filling up with kids and with all the trouble they get into it’s a good thing George pushed Y/N to fulfill her dreams of being a Healer. It seems every day at least one of their kids is getting injured in some way: a scraped knee, a bump on the head, a bit of smoke inhalation from a whizbang George let Fred set off inside of the house. With how wild and unpredictable their kids are every day is an adventure, even the most mundane family days always seem to end up with something unexpected getting thrown into the mix.

“Mum! Mum! Can you open this for me? Please?” Fred asks excitedly, holding a candy bar up to Y/N’s face.

She eyes him wearily, taking it from him slowly. “Did your Dad say you could have this?”

Fred grins up at Y/N, and he looks so much like his Dad that it melts her heart. “Well he didn’t say no.” When Y/N narrows her eyes at him he lets out a giggle. “He was in the middle of filling something out and he told me to ask you.”

It’s a Saturday, so the whole family is at the joke shop together. Once Fred was born George hated having to leave him and Y/N at home when he went into the shop, so she started tagging along with the baby. It was a nice way for them to spend time together as a family, and when Y/N went back to work and the weekend became their only full family days it seemed natural for her and Fred to tag along with George to work. Now several years and a few more kids later, it’s still Y/N’s favorite family tradition.

“And so, you decided to ask me if you could have the candy bar, by asking me to open it?” Y/N asks with a laugh.

“Well if you said yes to opening it, that kinda already answers the whole, can I have it question,” Fred reasons.

Y/N rolls her eyes fondly and tears open the candy bar. “Nine years old and you’re already trying to out smart me. I’m so proud of you.” She leans down to press a kiss to his messy hair before handing him the sweet. “Share that with your sister, yeah? It’s 10 am I don’t need you on a full sugar rush already.”

“Thanks Mum!”

Fred runs off just as George comes up and he watches his son disappear with a fond shake of his head. “Oh to be young and have energy,” he muses with a grin, wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist.

“Please, you still have plenty of energy left. Or have you forgotten how we got into this mess?” Y/N asks with a grin, pointing down at her bump. In just a few short weeks their family will be growing by two more, and Y/N is already exhausted just thinking about having to run after five kids.

“Oh trust me, I definitely remember how I got us into that mess,” George responds cheekily, leaning down to kiss Y/N sweetly. Luckily the store has been pretty slow so far, and they can spend the next few moments moving their lips together softly, just enjoying being in each other’s presence.

“Ew, gross,” Freya giggles, standing up on her tiptoes so she can peer at her parents over the checkout counter.

Y/N pulls away from George’s mouth with a sigh, turning her head to look at their youngest. All that’s visible over the counter is her wide eyes and the mess of fiery red curls on the top of her head. “Can we help you with something, nugget?”

Freya’s head disappears then and a few seconds later she reappears next to George’s leg, raising her arms up and bouncing on her toes. “Up please!”

“Ah, the Queen has made her demands!” George announces playfully. He gives Y/N a wink before letting her go, and he leans down to grab Freya, placing her on his shoulders. “Is this high enough for you, my Queen?” he asks, tickling her sides lightly.

“Daddy!” Freya squeals between her giggles, trying to get away from George’s attack. “No more, no more!”

George chuckles and gives her one more tickle. “Alright, alright, no more tickles.” The bell above the door jingles then and George leans down to give Y/N one final kiss. “Duty calls. I love you, teacup.”

“Love you too, Georgie.” Y/N reaches up and tugs on one of Freya’s curls. Despite the fact that she’s only three and has quite a bit of hair they’ve yet to cut any of it, and Y/N watches the long curl bounce back into place when she lets it go. “See you in a bit, nugget.”

Freya gives a little salute as George starts to head towards the customer before tangling her hands in his hair and pulling on them as if she were pulling on reins. “Horsey, horsey!”

George actually starts to move as if he were galloping, and Y/N shakes her head fondly as their daughter starts to laugh.

The store starts to pick up then, and for a few hours it seems like there’s a never-ending stream of people filtering through the door. Every once in a while Y/N gets a glimpse of George over the crowds of people, since Freya is still happily sitting on his shoulders, and every now and again Y/N watches the crowd part as Fred or Roxanne run through it.

They’ve just opened back up after shutting down for lunch, and Y/N has her back to the shop as she sorts through some of the mail. She turns around at the sound of someone clearing their throat and her heart drops into her stomach.

“Daphne. Hi,” she greets quietly, stepping back up to the counter.

It’s been over a decade since she last saw her old best friend, but the memory of their last conversation comes flooding back to her as if it took place yesterday.

“I can’t believe you’re moving in with George Weasley,” Daphne muses with a grin as she watches Y/N pack a few things away.

It’s been just over a month since they graduated from Hogwarts, and with her Healer training starting soon, Y/N decided to take George up on his offer to move into the flat above the joke shop with him and Fred. Now that they’re both transitioning into adulthood, their free time to spend together is sparse, and even though taking this next step is scary Y/N can’t wait to be officially living with George.

“I know, right? This time last year all I could think about was getting revenge on him and Fred for turning my hair yellow. And now all I can think about is the fact that I get to wake up next to him every morning,” Y/N admits with a soft blush.

“Just George and his little teacup,” Daphne teases, laughing wildly when Y/N throws a pillow at her.

Ginny had once jokingly suggested Y/N get a teacup pin after she noticed the teapot pin Y/N bought for George, since they’re always together and Y/N is so much smaller than George. After that day George’s new nickname for Y/N became teacup. And while she pretends that it annoys her, deep down she actually really loves it.

“You’re one to talk, Daph. It’s only what? A month until the wedding?” Y/N points out with a laugh. The smile on Daphne’s face falters and Y/N gives her a look. “What’s up? You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”

Daphne shakes her head as she sits up, giving Y/N a look. “No, of course not. I like to give Marcus a lot of shit pretty much all the time, but I really do love him. There’s just something I wanna talk to you about.”

“Oh?” Y/N asks quietly, sitting down across from her. There are very few things Daphne gets flustered over, and with the look she has on her face Y/N can tell she’s about to say something serious.

“You um. You can’t come. To the wedding,” Daphne stutters out, casting her gaze downwards. “Adrian said he’s not coming if you do and he’s Marcus’ best friend and I just want our wedding to be perfect and I know he’ll be upset if Adrian doesn’t come.”

Y/N can feel tears start to form in the corners of her eyes and she quickly tries to blink them away. “What? Daphne we’ve been best friends since we were eleven. You’re not going to be upset that I’m not there?”

“No of course I am! Y/N you know you’re like a sister to me. But Marcus is going to be my husband and it’s my job to do everything in my power to make him happy,” Daphne responds, reaching out to grab Y/N’s hand.

But Y/N pulls away and stands up. “Daph, it’s your wedding day too. You should have a say in who gets to be there.” Y/N pauses and just looks at Daphne, thinking about all the things they’ve been through together over the past seven years. “You’re really going to choose Adrian over me?”

“You chose George over us,” Daphne reminds her, finally making eye contact with Y/N again.

“That was different Daphne and you know that. I put space between me and Adrian because he was breaking the boundaries of our friendship and it was making George uncomfortable. And it was clearly the right decision since he kissed me and tried to get me to leave George at graduation.” Y/N sighs and crosses her arms over her chest. “George didn’t force me to do anything, Marcus is clearly forcing you to do this.”

Daphne rolls her eyes. “Marcus isn’t forcing me to do anything, I’m just doing my duty as his future wife.”

“That’s a bunch of crap and you know it. If Marcus really loved you he wouldn’t let some stupid drama from school get in the way of you being just as happy as he is,” Y/N responds firmly.

Daphne stands up then, her expression angry. “Don’t act so high and mighty, Y/N. Just because you have ambitions outside of being someone’s wife or a mother doesn’t mean you’re any better than I am.”

“Well at least when I get married I’ll be an equal in the relationship, rather than my husband’s little pet for him to boss around,” Y/N spits.

“You know what? Fuck you. You’re not welcome at my wedding. Or in my life in general.” Daphne grabs her bag and starts to storm out of Y/N’s bedroom.

“Who said I wanted to be in your life anyway?” Y/N shouts at Daphne’s back, listening to the sound of the front door slamming shut echo through the house.

“Oh. Um, hi, Y/N. I didn’t know that you worked here,” Daphne responds awkwardly, placing the few things in her arms down on the counter.

“Oh, I don’t work here, not really. I just come in on Saturdays, with the kids. It’s a good way for us to spend time together as a family.” Y/N starts to key the products into the register, not really sure what to say. The air between her and Daphne is awkward, and Y/N can see Marcus fidgeting a few feet behind Daphne, looking at some things on a shelf with a little boy. “These for your son?”

Daphne spares a glance over her shoulder at her son and Marcus, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “No, they’re for Adrian’s son. It’s his birthday today, we’re having dinner with them tonight. Although MJ does love his fair share of Weasley products.” She pauses, letting her eyes flick down to Y/N’s bump for a moment. “Is that your first?”

“Four and five actually,” Y/N responds with a laugh. She gestures to where George is standing talking with one of the employees, Freya back on his shoulders. “That’s number three over there, Freya and funnily enough she also happens to be three. And over there,” Y/N pauses gesturing to the pygmy puff cage where a little girl with curly hair the same color as Y/N’s is happily petting a little black puff. “is Roxanne, number two. She just turned six and has spent the past few weeks trying to convince us to let her take home another pygmy puff.”

Y/N scans the store for a moment, trying to find Fred. When her eyes finally land on him he has his knees hooked around a rung of the ladder George uses to reach products on the upper shelves, and he’s hanging upside down with a toothy grin. “Fred Weasley ll you get off that ladder right now! You’ve already cracked your skull open once this year and I am not cleaning up anymore of your blood.” Fred laughs wildly as he climbs down, and Y/N shakes her head as she looks back to Daphne.

“That’ll be Fred, our oldest. He’s only a few years off from Hogwarts, and is it bad if I say I’m looking forward to it just a little bit?” Y/N asks with a small laugh.

Daphne laughs as well, grabbing her wallet to pay for their stuff. “Oh trust me, I’m right there with you. I don’t know how you do it, we’ve just got MJ and I feel like I can barely keep up with him. I’m looking forward to the peace and quiet when he’s off at school.”

“George is a great help, I don’t think I could do it without him. He loves being a Dad, and he’s pretty good at it too.” Y/N hands Daphne her bag and gives her a final smile. “Thanks for coming by. It was nice to see you.”

Roxanne comes up just as Daphne and Marcus leave the store with their son and pulls up a chair so she can climb up onto the counter, being careful not to let the black pygmy puff on her head fall off. “Who was that, Mummy?”

“Just a girl I was friends with, back when I was at Hogwarts,” Y/N responds sadly, tucking a stray curl behind Roxanne’s ear.

“Oh. You’re not friends anymore?” Roxanne asks with a frown.

Y/N shakes her head and leans forward to press a kiss to her daughter’s forehead. “No, not anymore. But that’s okay. We used to have loads and loads of fun together, and now I get to have loads and loads of fun with you and your siblings and your Dad.”

“I can’t wait to make tons of friends when I’m at Hogwarts. It’s so not fair that Freddie gets to go sooner than me.” Roxanne pauses, giving Y/N a cheeky grin. “Do you think if I snuck on the train they’d just let me stay?”

“Hmm, I don’t know love. Why don’t you give it a try when it’s time for Freddie to go?”

Roxanne giggles as Y/N presses a kiss to her forehead and she gives her mother an excited look when she pulls away. “Oh trust me, I’m planning on it.”

“You think she’s going to try and sneak onto the train?” George asks, leaning over to whisper in Y/N’s ear.

They’re heading towards the entrance to Platform 9 and ¾’s to send Fred off on his very first train ride to Hogwarts. Despite the fact that it’s been over two years since Roxanne first divulged her plan to sneak to Hogwarts with her older brother, she still hasn’t forgotten about it, and she had reminded Y/N and George of her plan last night when they tucked her into bed.

“I dunno, but I don’t think it would be a bad thing to keep an extra close eye on her,” Y/N responds with a chuckle. Roxanne and Freya are walking out in front of everyone, holding hands and twirling each other around. Their curls flounce as they move, and as if she can tell they’re talking about her, Roxanne looks back at her parents and gives them a wink.

Fred is in the middle, pushing his cart along all by himself. He insisted that he could handle it on his own, since he’s going to be off at Hogwarts, and even though Y/N can tell he’s struggling a bit the grin on his face keeps her from intervening. Not that she or George would be much help. Archer and Leo, their twins, are two now, and George has one attached to each leg, giggling wildly as he walks and Y/N has a baby wrap tied around her torso, with their three-month-old daughter Scarlet laying in it fast asleep.

When they reach the wall between platforms nine and ten, Roxanne and Freya pause, looking back at their parents.

“Can we go?” Roxanne asks hopefully, mischief in her eyes.

George laughs and shakes his head. “Let your Mum and Freddie go first, yeah? You two can go through with me after.”

Roxanne pouts but steps aside, nonetheless, pulling Freya to her side as Y/N comes to stand next to Fred. She puts one of her hands on his shoulder, and the other on the handle of the cart. “Ready?” she asks, looking at her son.

“More than ready,” Fred responds with a laugh.

They push through the barrier together, and the platform looks just the same as Y/N remembers. It’s bustling with people as per usual and as George and the girls join them they navigate through the crowd to try and find a spot to say goodbye.

Once Fred’s things are loaded onto the train, Freya and Roxanne are the first to hug him goodbye, but they’re both too entranced by the Platform and the train to really care that they won’t see him for the next few months. Archer and Leo are too busy chasing each other around the small area to care, but Fred grabs them both and presses a kiss to their heads before letting them toddle off after each other again.

George pulls him into a hug first, and his hands shake as a few tears slip down his cheeks. “Love you so much, bud. You’re gonna have so much fun, I promise. Your Mum tried to take it out, but I slipped that box of Wheeze products into your trunk this morning. Just send an owl when you’re getting low and I’ll send more.” He pulls away so he can look at Fred, and the bright look in his eyes reminds him so much of him and Fred when they were that age he has to take a moment to calm himself down. “I’m handing the prank torch down to you, and I know it’ll be in good hands.”

By the time Y/N is pulling Fred into a hug there are tears fully falling down her cheeks and they fall into his hair when she brings him in as close as she can. “Don’t get into too much trouble, yeah? But have fun and learn a lot, that’s kinda the whole point.” She pulls away to press a lingering kiss to his forehead and runs her hand through his wild hair. “And don’t be too hard on the Slytherins, yeah? Your future wife might just be one of them.”

“Ew,” Fred responds, scrunching up his nose.

Y/N laughs and presses one more kiss to his forehead. “I love you, Fred. Write loads, yeah?”

“All the time,” Fred promises. He reaches into the wrap to give his littlest sister a kiss on the head before he steps back to look at both of his parents. “Bye, love you guys.”

“Hang on, one more thing.” Fred pauses and looks up at George, watching as he takes the teapot pin off of the lapel of his jacket. “A piece of me and mum for you to have with you, yeah?”

It’s the first time Y/N has seen George without it and the tears streaming down her face fall harder as he pins it to their son’s sweater. Almost subconsciously she reaches up to grab at the charms of her necklace, letting their familiar texture soothe her as she watches Fred climb up onto the train.

Forever seemed like a long time when Y/N and George first promised it to each other on that journey back to Hogwarts all those years ago. But now, watching that same train carry their first born away as their other kids laugh and play around them it just doesn’t seem like enough.

#George weasley #George Weasley smut #george weasley imagine #gw #golden

414 notes · View notes

busycryin · 4 years ago

Text

REPOST - THE NIGHT WE MET

THE NIGHT WE MET

PART ONE - THE NIGHT WE MET

Pairing: Javier Peña/ Female Murphy!Reader

Words: 5.3k

Summary: You decide to travel to Colombia on a whim, there you meet a gorgeous stranger that just so happens to be your brothers partner.

Content Warnings: 18+ Smut-ish (I wouldn’t wanna read it out to my mom), dry humping, dirty talk in Spanish which reader doesn’t understand so does it really count?, gratuitous love of the black shirt from the torture scene.

Anon was worried about losing my work when I switched blogs, so fear not. I’m reposting on here but I have no intention of deleting my other blog, it’s where I got my first 200 notes and I’m honestly blown away by it. I’m happy to announce I’m working on a fourth part. I’m not sure when I’ll post it as I’m still in the idea stage but it’s definitely a start, ay!

AO3

MASTERLIST

Author Note: So here is my return to writing! The word count got away from me but I loved every second of it. Always after prompts, so drop me a message on here if you’d like to see anything in particular. If it’s in my wheelhouse, you’ll definitely see it.

Pedro in the black shirt is what inspired me to write this, I can’t lie.

If you were brutally honest with yourself, this spur of the moment decision may have been a mistake.

Other people could make these choices and not have that nagging feeling in their gut from the second they booked their fuckin’ airline ticket. You had attempted to grab your crappy life by its metaphorical horns and go and sort this shit show out by yourself, but after your momentary bravery was used up, all that was left was a crippling anxiety that threatened to send you into one of your full scale panic attacks if you thought too hard about the fact you were following your big brother to Colombia.

Yes, Colombia. You, a U.S. national with no particular interest in hunting Pablo Escobar, had decided to vacation in sunny, crime ridden Bogotá on a whim.

You were fuckin’ dumb.

Sarcasm aside, you weren’t actually here on vacation, you were going to check on Stevie. Your brother, one of the DEA agents assigned with taking down Escobar.

You’d been worried about him for a few months, it had sounded like he was dealing with heavy shit in South America, you knew that was the job, but he was still your brother.

His calls had gotten less and less frequent until he stopped returning them all together and the only reason you knew he was alive were your pep-talks with your sister-in-law, trying to help her keep her shit together, but hell, you weren’t a therapist or a miracle worker. So when Connie rang asking to stay at your place you had obliged and she had returned to Miami a mere shell of her former self.

After a mammoth amount of prodding over the course of two days you managed to wring the truth out of her, not the nuggets of information she had given you over the phone in hushed whispers during her time in Colombia but the whole messy story; the communist Elisa Alvarez, Steve’s kidnapping and the cold edges your brother was developing.

It was all you could do not to book the tickets there and then, but you held out and supported Connie in the ways Steve couldn’t have, taking care of Olivia when you could and just trying your hardest to be there for her. Your presence alone seemed to be enough to help her through the days that followed. A week and a half after her return, you booked your flight to Colombia in secret.

You had to check on Steve.

He hadn’t answered a single one of your many many calls. You packed light and told Connie the morning of, and whilst she didn’t like it, she understood. You supposed that a part of her was relieved to know her husband would have someone in Colombia that wasn’t there to kill him.

So here you sat, two hours into your flight to the paradise destination; Bogotá. Your brother’s address scrawled on a scrap piece of paper in the one hand and a glass of cheap whiskey in the other. The alcohol did little to to calm your nerves, this was a dangerous place for a cop, let alone a fuckin’ clueless civilian.

When the plane finally touched down, you stood from your seat emptying the last few drops of whiskey which had tried to evade you onto your tongue, you picked up your backpack and queued to leave the plane.

The second you left the aircraft the humidity hit you like a brick wall, it was like all of the fresh air had been sucked out of the atmosphere. On a normal evening you would appreciate such a warm climate, but now the heat meant frustration to your tired brain and it only added to your baseline levels of anxiety as your hairline and upper lip were drenched as you walked through the arrivals gate.

Cards on the table; you didn’t have much of a game plan, you spoke no Spanish and stuck out like a sore thumb. You had the address but no means to get there, you didn’t relish the idea of getting in a taxi as a woman alone in a foreign country, but with little to no other options you went to hail one of the cabs that sat outside the airport.

Your fears turned out to be for naught, well not quite naught as the man had raked his eyes across your body for a large percentage of the trip in his mirror, but he had the good grace not to kidnap or murder you, which for you meant it was a successful journey, how low you had set the bar was just occuring to you.

After paying the gentleman he dropped you outside what appeared to Steve’s apartment building. You take a moment on the pavement to recollect yourself ready for your reunion. Peeling your denim jacket off, you decide instead to wrap it around your waist, tying the sleeves securely. With a harumph, you grab the handle of your suitcase, and drag it behind you. Your success thus far gives you a second wind of determination.

Though apparently dumb luck can only get you so far, because after heaving your suitcase up a flight of stairs and rapping on the door of apartment 20 until your knuckles ached, it began to dawn on you, you had no clue if this was even the right building.

“Fuck.” you mutter to yourself, you should’ve rang Connie or tried Steve again when you landed, but you’d been so single minded in carrying out your plan all common sense had apparently abandoned you. So with a million different scenarios of things you could’ve done better playing out behind your eyes you dragged your suitcase to the small lobby of the building, where the front door stood.

You huffed and dropped onto the bottom step in surrender, not quite sure where to go from here.

Weeks of anxiety and worry finally took their toll on your body as reality set in, and as it did so you couldn’t help but laugh at the sheer stupidity of the situation you’d put yourself in. A light chuckle escaped your body as you held your face in your hands, you rubbed at your eyes as a way of refreshing yourself before sighing and leaning back.

You must have sat with your head in your hands for around three hours before anyone of note arrived, you had received strange looks from residents in their comings and goings as they stepped around you, your expectant looks turned to disappointment when you realised they weren’t Steve. In fairness, you, a gringa sitting on the stairs at 2am, most likely wasn’t a daily occurrence to these homeowners.

By the time he came through the door, your eyes were closed and your head was leant on the bannister, trying to get what little rest you could. Your eyes opened a crack to see a man and a woman enter the building and turn right, the man had his arm around her as he stared at you in confusion, the look was so quick you may have missed it if you blinked, but they were talking in low whispers of Spanish and from the looks of things he didn’t give you a second thought.

So you extended him the same courtesy and shut your eyes once again, you heard the metal jangling of keys going into the lock, the sound of smacking lips and then the door was closed. You figured that was the end of it, instead you heard hurried footsteps coming towards you, your eyes shot open as he rounded the corner.

“Estás bien?” The man questioned. It took you a moment to realise he was talking to you, as you took him in you were struck by your stupidity, how could you have dismissed this man so quickly even in the throes of a mental breakdown. His chocolate brown eyes bore into your own as you realised he was waiting for a response.

“Uh… no hablo… español?” you pretty much asked him, cringing internally at your butchering of the most basic sentence of this gorgeous strangers language, his lips quirked at your mumbles making his mustache raise on one side with his smirk. Now, you’d never been a fan of a mustache, Steve and your father had both taken to styling their facial hair in such a way, and as a rule of thumb they were a big no-no. But my god. This man made that mustache his bitch and that bitch worked for him.

“You’re American?” He questions, smirk dropping along with his eyebrows in confusion as his brain processes the information.

“Oh thank god and Jesus fuckin’ christ above. You’re American!” Your timid nature had given way to pure unadulterated relief. “Stevie, Steve Murphy, he lives in this building, yeah?”

“Yeah… Stevi…Steve lives here- I’m sorry, who the hell are you?” He asks with a puzzled look and a shake of his head, there’s an air of distrust about him for some strange reason.

“I’m Y/N Murphy, I’m his sister.”

“Sister? Mierda… does he know you’re here?”

“Nope,” You pop your P as you shrug at the man before you with false nonchalance. “He’d have to answer the phone to me or Connie to know that now, wouldn’t he?”

“Steve.” The stranger sighed, annoyed.

“Sorry, who are you?” You asked, yourself becoming more bemused by the man by the second.

“I’m Steve’s partner, Javier.” He held out his hand which you were more than happy to take in a shake, his tan hand was soft yet strong as it held your own captive within it. “C’mon in I’ll give him a call, God knows what time he’s planning on getting back.”

“Uh, I don’t want to interrupt…” You mumble, waving your free hand vaguely towards where you knew the woman was waiting for him, making him smirk once again.

You were beginning to think that the sarcastic raise of his mouth was just his default resting face.

“You’re not interrupting anything.”

Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘cause I’d think it to. This is how people die in America, let alone fuckin’ Colombia, but if it’s a choice between dying at the hands of a gorgeous man who seems to know your brother or a stray that wonders in through the non-descript lobby door then you’d rather go out with a nice view, even if he did have a girlfriend.

If you had to gamble, you’d say you had a damn good chance of making it out of this apartment alive.

So you nodded and used the hand he hadn’t released yet to pull yourself up into a standing position. He wasn’t particularly tall but he still towered over you, your eyeline gave you a great view past his black shirt which was unbuttoned quite liberally, you assumed that was courtesy of the woman he’d entered with.

“Thank you,” you nodded at him with a genuine smile of relief. He didn’t reply, only grabbed the handle of your pull along suitcase before extending his arm towards his apartment and motioning to wordlessly say, after you.

Now you know how people say when you can feel a stare? You had the sensation before, but as you leaned over to pick up your backpack from the bottom step, you felt his eyes laser focus on your denim clad ass. You turned your head in disbelief and found his eyes still lingered there for a moment before meeting your own. Unbelievable. Part of you was flattered, the other part was bemused that he had a beautiful woman in there waiting and here he was ogling you.

You rolled your eyes, instilled with a new confidence as you turned and walked towards his apartment, you felt his eyes follow your form once more.

Steve’s hot partner was an ass man… Good to know.

…

As it turns out Javier’s girlfriend, or what you we’re starting to think was more of a one night stand, was not happy with the situation at all, you came to this discovery as Javier pointed you to the sofa before beginning arguing with her in hushed Spanish, the beautiful woman huffed and sent a dirty look your way before storming out and slamming the door behind her, with enough power to make it shake in its bearings. You raised your eyebrows at Javier from your seat. He shook his head with a sigh and began lighting up a cigarette, he turned and offered you one.

“No thanks, I quit.”

“Woman with an iron will?”

“Not quite,” You whisper, shaking your head.

He smiles before clearing his throat and moving over to pick up his landline. Javier presses a combination of buttons, before putting it to his ear and blowing the smoke from his lungs. His eyes met yours as the phone rang, he gave you reassuring wink.

“Murphy? … Yeah… you need to get back to your place now… You’ve got a guest…. No … come find out why don’t you?” Sarcasm dripped from his lazy tone, his voice was so smooth. It was like chocolate on gravel, you could listen to him talk for hours, which led your mind down that deep dark hole of what he sounded like during more carnal acts, he’d be a talker, for definite, what with all that confidence and swagger. “‘Kay… I’ll see you soon.”

Shaking your head you centred yourself, it had been a dry patch for you. You needed to calm down and not throw yourself at your brother’s partner, even if he just so happened to be the first man you had any interest in to show you attention in months.

“He’s on his way,” He confirmed what you already knew but you liked hearing him speak so you nodded in thanks. An awkward silence filled the air for a few moments, as you two perfect strangers shared one another’s company.

“Drink?” He offered pointing at the bottle of whiskey on the counter.

“God, yes.” You all but moaned at the offer. Javier chuckled, and grabbed a second glass from his cupboard, before pouring you both a generous serving. He walked around the back of the sofa, and passed you the glass of liquid gold and took a seat next to you. Close enough to initiate something, but not touching, quite a respectful distance.

Initiate something? God Y/N, get your mind out of the gutter. This poor man had only invited you in because you were his partner’s sister and he was doing the decent thing.

“Uh… The television work?” You ask, pointing at the empty screen.

“I didn’t realise you could speak Spanish…” His voice was dripping with sarcasm, mocking your earlier attempts at the language, though he reached across and switched the box on with the remote, he began flicking through the channels so quickly he almost gave you a headache.

“Oh yes, I’m very proficient, I just didn’t want to intimidate you earlier. Hola Señor Javier.” You say continuing his ruse. He chuckles at your words, it’s a deep warm noise that shakes his entire frame. You were definitely thinking about adding Javier’s voice to your top ten list of favourite sounds.

He flicks through the channels, for a few seconds before sighing and dropping the remote in your lap. Taking your assignment seriously, you sit up, bringing yourself a few inches closer to the man next to you, purely accidentally of course and begin flicking through the channels as Javier had done moments before, though 3am TV scheduling left a lot to be desired.

News, News, Colombian QVC, News, News, Soap opera. Bingo!

“Ah, now we’re talking.” You mumble, eyes stuck on the screen of the Colombian Soap opera playing. The two of you sat in silence once again as you slowly sipped on your drinks watching drama play out.

You watched in silence for around ten minutes, not understanding a single word of what was being said. The scene was on two latino actors sitting in a bedroom. The woman was sat on the bed being confronted by the man in a serious tone.

“What is she saying?” You question narrowing your eyes at the beautiful woman’s tone. Javier, who had been watching your reactions the whole time as you got into the awful tv show scrambled as he tried to listen and translate the woman’s words.

“Uh… her dads an alcoholic and she’s trying to support her son… that guy didn’t know about the son… I think… she was happy living a double life without the worry and she wants him to forgive her and start over…” Javier translated, giving you the general cliff notes.

“Oh shit,” You gasped at his words, but your attention diverted to the screen where the two had continued their heated argument and began kissing or rather where the man was devouring her neck, “I’m getting vibes that he might be open to forgiving her.”

You chuckled at your own joke, as did Javier. Though this time when his body shook his bare elbow touched your own.

How was he so goddamn warm?

All he was wearing was a black button down shirt. One that looked to be the wrong size it was so tightly fitted- not that you were complaining about the view. My God, were you horny today.

You took a gulp of your drink, trying to refocus for the third or fourth time this evening, trying so desperately to reign in your inner school girl and focus on the television, though that didn’t help as the actors were now eating one anothers faces on a bed. The silence was thick with tension, though that could’ve been entirely on you; one innocent touch of a man’s elbow and you’re a blushing mess.

Get a grip Y/N.

The silence dragged on as you pretended to watch the soap opera you had absolutely no understanding of in a futile attempt to ignore the man next to you. You can only imagine what he thought of your levels of focus on the tv, as you stared at the box in the corner of the room like it was the greatest cinematic masterpiece of all time and you were getting ready to write a full-scale analysis on the work of art.

Javier broke the tension in the room by finally asking the question that had been on his lips all evening.

“You came all the way to Colombia… Why?” Javier grabbed a cigarette off of the coffee table, placing his drink where the carton of smokes had been. He lit the stick and waited for your response, honestly, you were thrown. The question had come out of nowhere whilst you were still trying to analyse why exactly this man had such an effect on you when he was doing nothing but being a good host. You hastened to think up a half coherent reply before you just answered truthfully.

“Steve stopped answering the phone, I mean he’s always been shitty at checking in, even when he was in Miami. When he got here we’d have a catch up every week or so, we all know how dangerous it is for you guys over here, so we joked about calling it ‘the alive check’. For the last couple of months, I was checking in with Connie more than Steve but he’d still pick up once every week, without fail. Then four weeks ago the fucker stopped answering my calls all together and Connie showed up on my doorstep with Olivia in tow last week.”

“Look, you coming down here probably makes more problems than it solves, Steve’s a big boy if he doesn’t call to check in, it’s probably ‘cause he’s busy… He’s-” Something about Javier’s dismissive tone rubbed you the wrong way, call it sleep deprivation or blame the weeks of stress, but you were tired of being called paranoid. You were not an overbearing mother hen.

“My brother always answers my calls. Or at least he used to. I can’t begin to understand what you guys are going through, but I’m not losing my brother to some piece of shit Colombian drug dealer.”

Javier raised his hands in mock surrender, cigarette still in mouth. “He’s actually more of a drug lord slash narcoterrorist, but-”

“How is he?” You interrupt Javier’s attempt at diffusing the situation with humor, turning to him on the sofa. You rearranged yourself, bringing your leg up so your knee touched his thigh as you gave him your full attention, you plucked the smoke from between his lips and held it between your two fingers as you spoke. “Tell me Steve’s fine. Tell me I’m worrying for nothing and I’ll get back on that plane and leave tomorrow morning.“

You take one drag and offer it back to him, he accepts it, deliberately looking you in the eyes as he places the cigarette in his mouth, attaching his lips to where your own had been seconds earlier. He takes it from his mouth and stubs it on an ash tray that rests on the arm of the sofa, his focus is single minded on his task. The pressure in your lower stomach is mounting as you stare at the tanned man before you who is carrying out a menial task that has you more turned on than you’d ever admit.

When the red tip is extinguished thoroughly, taking much longer than you thought it needed to, Javi turns to you, his mahogany eyes have you pinned in your tracks. You found yourself admitting they were gorgeous for the second time this evening, they were the type of brown you could never quite describe, they had so much depth, not quite a chocolate, not quite coffee, they were rich and deep pools. They reminded you of the forest, not the green leaves but the earthy brown, the strong beams of wood that held everything up around it.

Javier’s hand emigrated forward slowly, your eyes followed the movement in your peripheral but you didn’t dare look away from the pools of molasses as he reached to grip one hand at your denim thigh, his eyes roamed your face for any sign of this being an unwelcome approach and when he found none his other hand began its climb to rest on your jaw, just below your ear.

You couldn’t say if you moved towards him or if he advanced on you, all you knew was he was on you now as the tips of your noses rubbed against one another.

“Quiero saborearte…” He whispered so lowly you barely even heard it before he leaned in that last inch and captured your lips in a single, chaste kiss. Your lips connected and you realised the heat you had felt from his arms had been nothing. Fire coursed through your veins upon contact, surging through your blood and going south to a pressure that built in your lower stomach.

Your hand shot up to land on his collarbone, before you could even really consider your own actions you pulled apart until your foreheads were the only thing touching. He was intoxicating, you could lose yourself completely in this man, he somehow smelt like cinnamon, whiskey and sweat, a combination you’d never thought would send liquid fire through your central nervous system. You’d give anything to taste him properly, but this was wrong. So so wrong. This was your brother’s partner, this was inviting complication to your door, when you were just here to check on Steve. You were here for Steve.

You were here for Steve…

“… This isn’t a good idea.” You all but whisper, closing your eyes. Regret pulses through your veins at your self imposed restraint.

“Never is.” He leaned forward and captured your lips. You didn’t have any fight left in you, exhausted and at wits end you embraced your spiral into stupidity instead and your hands glided across the clammy skin of his neck to grab at his short ink black hair. You wrapped your fingers around it to drag him closer to you, your lips clashed, all teeth at first but you didn’t care as his tongue began to fight against yours for dominance.

He tasted as good as you imagined, he was the right combination of sweet and bitter, with undertones of whiskey and tobacco on his tongue. Your response to his assault on your mouth told him it was go time, Javier pulled you into his lap and his hands lowered to your ass. Your body was flush with his own as your breasts pressed against his chest, you could feel every solid line of his lithe body against your own.

You licked at his honied tongue, before withdrawing and pulling his bottom lip into your mouth and sucking on the soft plush skin. His mustache tickled your upper lip, a sensation you weren’t used to but could so easily grow to love. This made him tighten his grip on your backside in response and he let out a throaty groan at the meat he found there, Javier was definitely an ass man, you felt his bulge pressing against your core as you both began grinding against each other in earnest. You felt like a horny teenager as you grinded on a man you barely knew.

You felt him grip at the bottom of your tank top and begin to lift it, except he stopped, and began to rub patterns on the stomach he exposed. Javier’s mouth descended from your lips to begin to suck and lick at your throat. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at his work as pleasure rippled throat your body. His hands slid the length of your body to grab at your chest, which conforming to every stereotype was heaving, he palmed your breast blindly as his face was still buried in your hair, sucking and kissing along to your ear, before he raised his mouth a mere inch and whispered “Te follaré toda la noche niña.”

He said it with such surety that your body convulsed in on itself without even needing to know what the man above you was saying. You could only hope it was absolutely filthy and profanity ridden, because then at least, the sentiment would be shared. He bit at the lobe of your ear before his hands left your breasts and travelled to the hem of your tank top, getting ready to pull it over your head.

It was strange to say that you remembered your brother was on his way here as a man tried to take your t-shirt off, but that’s just the way it went. You knew if that top came off, dry humping would be the most PG action of the night and if Steve turned up and found you mounted on his partner, he probably wouldn’t be too thrilled.

You couldn’t stop yourself from stroking the man’s hair whose face was planted in between your tits as his hips rose against your own pushing his hardened length up against the seams of your jeans, you gasped as he hit that sweet spot. You let out a noise that sounded like a wail. You wanted nothing more than to lie back and let this man have his filthy way with your body. And you know, from the hour you’ve spent with this man it would be phenomenally filthy. The kind of sex that would ruin all men for you, but no. You had to be a good sister. Like a fuckin loser.

Sighing, you threw your body sideways before you could change your mind and ended up on your back. Javier followed you, caging you with his frame as he covered your body with his own. Gripping your face like he was a starving man and you were the only sustenance he’d ever need. It would be so easy to get lost in him, to give in to that magic tongue but you couldn’t let this go any further so you placed a hand on his chest.

Taking your cue he paused his tongues assault on your mouth and stopped, resting his forehead against your own. You were both breathing heavily trying to come back down to reality, his eyes were no longer the chocolate brown you’d been comforted by when you met, but rings of obsidian staring into your soul. You wanted this man, my god you did. But this would make more problems for Steve.

The two of you stayed that way for a while, foreheads and bodies pressed against one another until both of your breathing evened out. The silence dragged, heavy in the air as you two strangers both waited for the other to break it.

“…Is Steve okay?”

“…No… He’s been fuckin’ mess ever since Connie left.” Javier sighed whilst closing his eyes and breathing deep. You raised your hands from his chest, which was difficult as he was crushing his body to yours and cupped his cheek, you joined your lips once more, much like the first kiss. This was sweet and there wasn’t a carnal appetite behind it but rather an understanding.

The loud knock on the front door startles you both as you’d been so wrapped up in one another you’d not heard the steps leading to it. The two of you split apart like a pair of guilty teens caught in the act. You both stared at each other for a second before he nods at you and walks to the front door whilst rearranging his bulge discreetly in his jeans, this was something you pretended not to see as you sat back up right on the sofa. You had only a moment to fix yourself, as you pulled your tank top from where it was hooked by your breasts and ran your fingers through your hair so you didn’t look like you’ve just had the ravaging of a lifetime.

Javier pulled open the door and you clutch your hands into your lap, not quite sure what kind of reception you were about to receive from your brother. You hear the two men greet one another in hushed whispers, you couldn’t make out Steve’s voice much until you hear his voice clear as day “…what the hell was so important it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

You stand from your spot on the sofa and quickly realise the button on your jeans is undone; if you’re honest you don’t even know how he managed to do that without you noticing, even though it’s not the time you take a solitary second to commend Javier on his artistry of disrobing a woman. Turning quickly you pull the rivet back through the hole and swing around as Steve crosses the threshold from the hallway.

Steve looks from you, to Javier and then back to you once more in complete surprise. It takes his brain a hot second to process that you’re here in front of him and in Colombia before he rushes you. Clutching you tight and hugging you to his chest. You hear something that sounds suspiciously like a sob leave your brothers chest before he collapses into you. The front door and Javier’s bedroom both in rapid succession, giving you the privacy you knew your brother would need after breaking down like this.

You couldn’t support Steve’s weight with your considerably smaller frame and the two of you fell to the ground as you held your broken brother. His body shook with silent sobs as he buried his face in your shoulder.

You said nothing as you held him and stroked his hair. In that moment you thanked your every instinct that screamed at you to come to Colombia.

This had definitely not been a mistake.

#pedro pascal x reader #javier pena x reader #javier peña x reader #repost #narcos fanfiction

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hanijunk · 4 years ago

Text

Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.

Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!

Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO

Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.

Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO

I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol

Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao.

I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo

I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.

This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).

I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.

THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP

First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).

Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.

Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications.

Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.

Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma.

Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential.

But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.

Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.

If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*

And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL

As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.

Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes!

Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.

I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more.

There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.

Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes.

TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--

#honeyworks #dolce #kazufuuma #kazuki haiga #fuuma shirayuki #long post #analysis #character analysis #kinda?#nobody cares trash #also keep in mind this is PURELY for self satisfaction LMFAO read it if u wanna dont if u dont idgaf either way #anyway kazufuuma canon fight me #or have intellectual conversation with me #if you want it on a google doc bc it's easier to read hmu #if you can't tell i think about kazufuuma too much #how much of this is repetitive? probably a lot...

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