#if you heard me
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I have to make phone calls tomorrow like some kind of functional adult and I am not particularly excited about it.
#personal#phone anxiety#you would never know#if you heard me#i sound like im cool as a cucumber#no#i am anxious af#i rely on body language#for conversation cadence#if i cant see u#idk when ur done talking#or what ur really feeling
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If that doesn't have potential for some fairytale nonsense, I don't know what does.
#time zones are a human invention#and sometimes they're downright absurd#spell components#that url for more info leads to a slightly longer article btw#among other things it tells me that someone swam between the islands in about two hours#freezing water btw#that definitely sounds like a quest challenge#'swim from tomorrow to yesterday without freezing to death'#'what???'#'you heard me'#fun facts
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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Is this anything
#always an awkward conversation to have irl#“i love ai.” insert that one spongebob holding out his hands with a shadow above him meme#“FICTIONAL. FICTIONAL AI!!!”#clankerposting#Clay posts#fictional ai#shitpost#hal 9000#robots#p03#electric dreams#allied mastercomputer#ihnmaims#shockwave#transformers#fuck ai#this is an anti ai art blog btw#objectum#saying hello to everyone who reads the tags um... hi!! Really funny to read people recommending me entry level robot/AI media#like yes i have indeed heard of portal and ultrakill. i just didnt pit them in the meme </3#also some guy decided to write in the notes that they were going to crush me into red paste. hot? thank you? ???? weird.
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#funny talking tag#My favorite thing to do is HC characters as trans but also that they've never heard that term before and act accordingly.#My other favorite thing to do is make characters repressed.#My other other favorite thing to do is make a character go ''I feel like a(n) object/animal/thing pretending to be a man/woman''#''but I don't really care about that right now I have a job''#Anyway while this post can be about whichever characters you feel fit I made this with a certain character in mind.#(Dimentio of SPM fame) (He has something really specific going on that makes me cackle) (You can ask me about it)#(Also Morceau Oleander is a trans woman to me because she would be happier)#(and she deserves to live a life not defined by other's expectations of her)#Someone put a forbidden and ancient curse on this post so no more.
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the unbreakable connection between me and a song I heard in a fanvid over ten years ago
#comes and goes in waves has me in a chokehold to this day and you best believe i first heard it in a clara/sherlock edit#ray talks
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sometimes I randomly think about the time a girl posted in this girls only Facebook group I’m in telling everyone how she broke up with her boyfriend and he lied saying that he lost the spare key she gave him, only to then break into her apartment when she wasn’t home and steal the cat they’d adopted while they were together, but then he denied having done this and she didn’t really have proof that he took the cat since he wouldn’t let her come into his place and look for it. And then another girl saw this post and knew her ex-boyfriend, and she was like “girl. I used to hook up with your mans back in xxxx and I still have his number. If you want, I’ll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your cat’s there.” And the OP was like “bet.”
So this woman hit up homie dog, asked him out for drinks, went home with him, slept with him, and then woke up in the middle of the night and TOOK THE CAT. Like she had only said that she would confirm if the cat was there but then she took it upon herself to steal this woman’s cat back. Like she full on Trojan horsed this man and then hit up homegirl like “I got the goods. Where you wanna meet.” And then the two of them posted a photo of them together with the cat to the group.
And I just think women supporting women is so beautiful.
#the best part of all is that I also knew the ex boyfriend because he worked at this place my friend was the manager of#and I texted my friend like ‘yo have you heard about this cat situation’#and she was like ‘I swear to god if one more person asks me about this fucking cat’#it was the drama of the century#the whole city was up in arms over this cat
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Guys ive been reading peak
#dandadan#momo ayase#ayase momo#okarun#seiko ayase#ayase seiko#cant believe the actual plot of this show is “this guy's genitals were stolen and we have to get them back” 💀#theyre so funny i love these guys#its like if mob psycho and csm had a foolish baby#the stupids ever#dont get scared by that one scene in that first episode thats the worst it ever gets i heard the creator was forced to put it in or no manga#just like olan and that piss fight scene in final space sighhhhhhhh evil people in charge..............#okarun and ayase are so silly i love them sm they make me go YYYAAAAYYYYYY ^_^^^^^^^^^^#ignore the bad sizing for the letters my handwrutung is naturally horrible plus i was hella zoomed in shhhhhhhhhhh you see nothing........#LIVE LAUGH LOVE !!!!!!!! YAYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!
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AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”
Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”
#EVEN BETTER if Mr D tries to keep his cover by actually treating him like a son#Clarisse doesn’t mess with him cuz after the toilet fiasco Mr D is like “I will feed you to my cult young lady!! good job Peter :)#Percy is like “hey dad why can I control water “and Mr D is like …ever heard of that guy that turned it to wine??#Mr D: PLEASE just help me I can’t keep it a secret for much longer Mr. Brunner: you told him his brother was JESUS???#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson the lightning thief#dionysus#Mr D
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” I don’t go here but…” is such a cool tag to get idc idc. You don’t know what I’m talking about but you like it anyways? Let’s make out
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@wolfythewitch 's gravity fowls au, again...
Mcducket with Tate (when he was an egg)
Stan would sell 'mystery eggs' and it would just be rocks or something
#this au is consuming my mind get it out get it out!#drawing a marbled duck was way harder than I expected so I gave up. kinda#gravity falls#gravity falls au#gravity fowls#bill cipher#stanford pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stan pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#Fiddleford mcducket. my beloved. why are you so hard to draw#art#fanart#traditional art#watercolor#this au will be the death of me#animal au#anyone ever heard that one story about a red hen that made bread and no one would help her or something? I loved that when I was a kid#Anyway. sorry for drawing your au. again...#I can't stop drawing this au send help
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Sketching while streaming s5...
Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)
Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:
(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)
#yes I realize Jon and Martin are in different fucking art styles let me live#do not accuse me of being AI this difficulty drawing hands is all natural I worked hard drawing for years just to fucking suck at it#update I listened to 170 I heard it was devastating but my ass was LAUGHING#poor martin but omg me and my buddy had everywhere at the end of time in the background and shit was so funny#he forgor 😭💀#it was emotionally devastating at the end tho Jon suggesting he stay there um btich NO?!#Jon the literal Lonely is not worse tham being around you get a fucking grip#helen continues to be the best character her showing up for the juicy gossip is so fucking real#anyagays#tma#tma podcast#the magnus pod#tma fanart#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#my art#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#tma jmart#tma season 5#tma spoilers#i have to make a diagram for my jon and martin designs for s5 SO bad#if only i could draw jon.... >:(#i need u guys to know that my martin loves plaid and jon is wearing a plaid shirt thats too big in s5... inchresting....
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Red string of fate
Be strong, Niko
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#after the jenny and maxine thing she doesn't want to get involved but boy oh boy#also look at me once again coming up with silly magical things#i totally stole this idea from heaven official's blessing#also you might be wondering how come crystal doesn't know what this means#and i want to remind you that this girl had never heard of lilith before
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every single word of this feels like it was pulled out of a bingo machine
#also i hadn’t heard it had ended!!! rip you beautiful monster#if anyone’s capable of explaining this to me PLEASE do so i am fascinated#riverdale
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just checking...
#call of duty#cod#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghostsoap#mw3 spoilers#my art#👉😌👈 lalala what new game you say??#never heard of it 🤷♀️#special shoutout to the anon who sent me a message about sam's smile#literally as I was drawing this so...#same wavelength~#please enjoy your dose of Mister Simon Riley smiling#it's good for the immune system apparently~
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I watched Starship Troopers tonight.
#personal#dumb#my art#immediately after finishing i was pumped to watch some analysis vids on it#cuz i heard a lot of the drama about the original author being a pro military fascist and the director going “fuck that” and making a satir#scrolling through youtube search results was not promising. lots of male film buffs i would Not trust even on a first glance.#“The Critical Drinker” (pfp of a bearded man drinking alcohol) lol.#and then I saw cinemawins did a video on it and was like oh nice i haven't seen his stuff in a while but he's a pretty leftist creator#scrolled through the comments#second panel face#this sucks i'm outta here.#just leagues and leagues and leagues of anime pfps and right leaning people dogpiling on him for “not understanding what fascism is”#idk it's pretty alien and weird to me watching this movie and going “wow yeah that was pretty obvious huh” like literally the from opening#to the teacher preaching militance and only giving voting rights to “those who serve their nation first and earn it”#and then seeing droves of people online going#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It's not anti-fascist and even if it was it's#the director's fault for desecrating heinlein's incredible sci-fi epic vision. ermm media literacy is dead.
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