#i am anxious af
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Okay so Im officially starting my art blog and I hope I wont put my phone on fire😫🔥
#serana#artwork#digital art#skyrim#elder scrolls#character art#artists on tumblr#small artist#character artist#serana art#serana skyrim#i am anxious af
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Y'all wtf is going on today. Our energy provider just rang my doorbell like "hey can I check those numbers rq?"
Like no thank you sir?? Make an appointment first bro? It's a pure coincidence I'm even home rn
That shiz stressed me out hella ngl like wtf bro
Literally didn't let him in and told him to call ahead of time next time lol
#alysdiary#wtf is this day#i hate it#i am anxious af#like bro stop all the weird shit today ughhh#i wanna do my work and maybe a load of laundry not have to deal with a shit supervisor and sketchy city people
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Today is surgery day
Good bye Gallbladder
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I have to make phone calls tomorrow like some kind of functional adult and I am not particularly excited about it.
#personal#phone anxiety#you would never know#if you heard me#i sound like im cool as a cucumber#no#i am anxious af#i rely on body language#for conversation cadence#if i cant see u#idk when ur done talking#or what ur really feeling
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✨ Byler on a date ✨
#Byler#Mike Wheeler#Will Byers#Stranger Things#Byler Fanart#I made this exhausted and sleep deprived and anxious af#smh#those idiots keeping me sane om my london trip#mike would totally be a lovesick idiot (affectionate)#also Hi Angel! If you see this#I had to put Mike in a band shirt#so of course I picked sleep token#(i am still sleep deprived and I'm glad to return to my own bed om saturday. Finally)#FluffyFangirlArt
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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(caption here)
Treat me ~ Tip me ~ More of me
#i am far too sleeby to caption this so u can just use ur imagination.#hopefully this post shows up on the dash tho#unlike my last one. which was cute af.#anywhore. i was kinda cute today. even if i was an anxious wreck.#satans knitwear#alt pinup#pinup girl#bi girl#cheeky#uk girl#wlw#pretty lingerie#underbust corset#corsetry#floral bodysuit
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would be nice if my neighbors wouldn't blast music at 9pm at night. why. why are you doing this.
#normally I'm against the idea of like. reporting my neighbors.#because i know when i have my sisters over or when I'm ganing i can also be loud af#but also. I'm not usually being loud at 9pm at night.#like dude cmon#im not even trying to sleep it's just making my cats anxious and its getting on my nerves#and i have a feeling it'll still be going when i AM trying to sleep later#shh ac
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.............just testing out a new drawing app and I got carried away..........yeah :(
#this is literally just a scrap okay#i was yearning i'm afraid#so much mlem#don't usually post my stuff cause i am anxious af#but thought i'd share this#viktor arcane#viktor x reader#arcane viktor#viktor x oc#arcane#viktor fanart
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11k words into my sanuso one shot because i have no control over what i write and when i said this was going to be a short fic i lied completely
#why am i like this#at least it's good tbh#however i am too tired to reread everything so idk when i'll check it#me not having beta readers bc it makes me anxious af bc what if they tell me it's a bad fic or smth#sanuso#one piece
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i hate being so desperate for attention
#tw self destructive behavior#tw sh related#depressing shit#mental health#why am i like this#attention wh0r3#anxious attachment#clingy af#attention slvt#attenti0nwhor3#desperate for attention
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There's only one week left till season 1B releases. How we all feeling?
#i am feeling anxious AF after watching that 1st episode and trying to figure out what could happen#and if it's going to end on a cliffhanger again like S 1A did#sonic prime#sonic prime s2#sonic prime s1B#sonic prime season 2
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Me at me: I am begging you for a short fic I am BEGGING you—
#we have cracked 6k on this beast tonight#could've been maybe like 3k max but nooooo i had to have a lead-in and do character exploration in my smut as fucking always#god i hope this is enjoyed i am anxious af#my ramblings
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disliking kids is not a moral failing thanks for coming to my ted talk
#the fucking kids in this apartment building are annoying af#and their moms are even worse#i cant fucking stand these people stfu and quite rushing up on my dog she doesnt like kids you scare her#and they run around the parking lot like theyre the only ones who live here#and one of the moms had the audacity to yell at me “this isnt a parking lot kids are playing here”#girl stfu#this is LITERALLY a parking lot#im allowed to park my car outside my fucking apartment#there is so much grass area for these kids to play in we live in rural bumfuck#but no they have to play IN the parking lot ALL DAY from 7am to 11pm they are outside literally#i am going to lose my shit#and they keep letting their dogs off leash#my dog is so timid and anxious - shes a shelter dog shes been through a lot#and these big ass dogs (shes small af) run up at her and want to play but like no lmfao#and pick up their shit and your cigs im so sick of all of you#anyway tldr single moms and their kids are annoying af idc
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happy transsexual thursday! spent it fighting my insurance bc their pharmacy is "completely out" of needles in the size I'm prescribed
but good news :) nice lady at the local pharmacy gave me one for free to do today's injection :) i transsexual another week to fight the good fight.
Hot take: insurance should pay the transsexuals that are in its care
#ask#anon#transsexual thursday#unsolicited advice but there are places you can buy needles if you ever have trouble getting them from pharmacies#you can get bulk supply of them as well and you can keep them in case of emergencies like this#i haven't done this myself yet because i am anxious about this type of stuff but! i have heard some people swear by it#shoutout to the kind person who helped you out though that's real af 🫡🫡
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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