littleblueteacup

[littleblueteacup]

The Oracles of Gotham;

Cursed to be all-knowing. Cursed never to be believed.

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[littleblueteacup]

Reblog this if you want a slightly ominous compliment in your inbox

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My DM for our weekly DnD game recently moved to California. It’s been sad and we miss him. He DMs now via Zoom and we’ve got a really nice set up so he feels very present. Today while DMing he had us rolling investigation in a library. He said the books title was Is Sex Necessary? When we all seemed puzzled he prompted, “You two should know… Is Sex Necessary?”

My girlfriend and I were stumped. “We should know or our characters should know?” I asked.

“You!” He insisted.

We looked at each other in bafflement repeating “Is Sex Necessary!?” “Is Sex Necessary…?”

“It’s on your bookshelf!” He exclaimed. So we went over to investigate and sure enough, a slim volume stood on the shelf titled Is Sex Necessary? The whole group, all four of us, clustered around to inspect the book.

It honestly didn’t occur to me to investigate the book for clues, I opened the cover hoping to see a hint as to its origins, and inside found a paper note with my DMs distinct handwriting that proclaimed, “Secret! Do not open!”

It turns out he planted notes in several books over two months ago specifically for this eventuality. Each note had a hint for defeating beholders (which he knew we were gunning to fight after being extorted by one) and were sprinkled through many books. He’d say, “An earth genasi explorer wrote this account called Feet of Clay,” and I’d go pull down my Terry Pratchett book of the same title. Or “A sea faring elf wrote about their study of leviathans in Ship of Magic,” and I’d grab my tattered Robin Hobb to find another note.

It was really cute and immersive and it made him feel a lot closer finding all the little notes he left in our home.

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shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[littleblueteacup]

Good morning,

museums should repatriate artifacts belonging to living cultures and display reproductions instead

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“Made ya look!”

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Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

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You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

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Your boyfriend starts mumbling in Latin in his sleep and it scares the hell out of you but upon translation he’s introducing himself, inquiring on the price of grain, attempting to sell dormice, brainstorming silly Saturnalia gift ideas. In his sleep he somehow becomes a 1st century BC plebeian, of modest means but with a pleasant outlook on mundane life.

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when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

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okay i'm locking these in early i know what's gonna happen i'm calling it now

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Ever notice how any time someone calls you "cringe", 99 times out of 100 what they mean is "you're happy and I don't like it"

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Imagine meeting the most handsome goofiest genderweird butch you've ever seen and she has a dedicated probably monogamous boyfriend who to be fair is actually a pretty cool dude and you're devastated that you can't shoot your shot. Then you find out that up until last year boyfriend was certain he was gay and then he met this handsome goofy genderweird butch and was like oh I like women. Or at least women who are also men sometimes. So I'm bisexual. Also to make things more confusing they're both veterans who are actually pretty staunchly anti-military and hate every admiral they've ever encountered and the butch only went into the military because she desperately needed healthcare coverage for her father and the boyfriend was like. A legacy military brat who realized this is all pretty fucked actually. Congratulations you have encountered modern day Mulan and Li Shang