#if you hear someone screaming its me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Did you guys know how easy it was to set fire to wet espresso grinds? Cause I didn't
I need an adult
#starlight yaps#nobody panic#if you hear someone screaming its me#or maybe avior screaming at me when he sees what i did
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Worst flashback/panic attack/whatever the fuck i've had in years how can i project this on jason
#i dont do personal posts but i think if someone doesnt know im fucking suffering rn#itd be bad#i threw up hahahaha fuck him fuck himf uckf him fuck him fuck him fuck gim#i was liteeakky COMUNG HOME FROM THEEAPY and we DIDNT EVEN TALK ABT IT#im losing it bc what he did wasnt illegal and my mom liteeakly comolaids abt jis treatment of me#during my stay n every other adult working there fucking knew its not like everybody couldnt hear him#FUCKING SCRWAMING AT ME#but nooo theres no issue w yelling n raging at a fucking suicidal kid being held against their will in ur stupid fucking#menral health overnight stay place or whatever the fukc osasto was#hes probably still working the same job n i cant even find out who he wss i dknt know his name#its been 3 fucking years n i apparently stkll havie fucking flashbacks#but who gives a fuck right#im neber gonna get closure im never gonna get to yell at him he'll never face consequences#verbal abuse is just fucking fine apparently#who gives a shit abt fucking screaming for an hour at a kid having a severe panic attack/meltdown#repeatedly telling you to LEAVE#thats just not that bad fucking apparently fuck him so bad i hope he got run over by a FUCKING CAR#anyway dw abt me talking abt it helps im more calmed down ill get hugs from my mlm later#this will not be a habit i have just not had a Bad Memory like this in a while so i forgor how yucky it is
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
prev post literally since i was a child ive wanted to go to a super isolated spot where absolutely nobody else on the planet would hear me and just scream AS loud as i possibly could. partially for stress relief and partially bc i just want to know how loud i could scream if i wasnt worried abt freaking ppl
#bc like. I could drive* somewhere super isolated but What if there is a hiker. and then thats WAY scarier than hearing someone scream in a#spot w other ppl like if yr all alone and then hear an earpiercing scream While in the woods id find that scarier than being in town and#hearing a scream bc like yes Uhoh somebody screamed but at least yr aware there r other ppl around so its not as offguard#+like kids scream allllll the time for no reason at all. just bc its fun for them you know. i was so jealous when i was a kid bc all the#other kids could scream and scream and scream as loud as they could but i couldnt bc i was scared of getting in trouble. and now ive#squandered yhe time of my life where its socially acceptable to scream as loud as i could. Ughh#one of my recurring nightmares as a kid was that i was in a life or death situation like A killer or something and id try to scream and jus#nothing would come out like i could feel the air passing through my voicebox but no sound came out#not just screaming like. So many dreams where i just couldnt talk and everybody was mad at me bc i couldnt talk#scary stuff.#but ya. i think my only recourse is to learn how to man a boat solo and go out to the middle of the ocean and check radar to make sure#Nobody is close enough and then i can scream. but what if i piss off a whale or something#maybe a little room deep deep deep underground with like super super super thick walls and the door is sealed shut and its in the middle of#a remote forest on an impassable mountain. and then i can scream#just realized i forgot to finish that asterisk earlier you guys mustve felt rly abandoned im sorry. were you scared. its okay. connors here#* i cant drive
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
i've been getting a lot of fomo of seeing all my friends and mutuals playing baldurs gate 3 and was tempted to buy it. then seeing you drawing fanart and seeing it on my dash made me look inside myself and acknowledge my true self and desires... so i bought pioneers of olive town. its in the mail, but im excited for it to arrive. :)
YEAH ITS SUPER CUTE IMO !!! I don't even have a console/PC capable of BG3 so I totally get the thought of 'oh im missing out' but I really enjoy the relaxing farming games... I'm super flattered to hear my love of these games influences people to try em out - that my love shows enough to make people curious. Thank you anon for sending this (I immediately screamed at three people on discord after seeing this bc holy moly truly high honors here).
#moe talks a lot#sos pioneers of olive town#listen its immensely flattering to have someone decide to skip a super popular and current game#to just go farming ...#like im always stunned when my art MADE WITH LOVE FOR THESE GAMES makes people curious#then i get anxiety cause what if people dont like the games and i scream internally for different reasons#ive somehow gotten people to buy potion permit and sdv (or returning to sdv after a while)#ive somehow convinced people to get dark deity and tales of arise and im like#h...how..... but thank.... for telling me.....#i really love the games i draw for and that it shows is always a huge confidence boost in my art#cheers anon i hope you enjoy it! i really want to draw more for this game now to have the characters talk#about what dnd or rpg classes theyd be so i might cave and do that at some point while still posting for#a different game as well since im really trying to draw for a different game every day this month#but this is just .... immense to hear and inspired me to think about classes for the cast lmao
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
me when the SAME FUCKING THING HAPPENED AGAIN
#biseuxal#queer#lgbt#help i accidentally started crushing (not the right word but there isnt a better one) on someone in my workplace#AGAIN >:(#AND SHE IS MY MANAGER IM GONNA THROW MYSELF OFF A BUILDING😭#i literally cant-#believe you me i would die of shame if anyone knew#honestly its making me mad i wish my brain wouldnt do this-#bi wlw#wlw advice#nblw#nonbinary#if you listen closely you can hear me screaming in agony
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
long is the road outta hell into misery (divinity, part 1)
No matter how well a plan is made, no matter how much preparation goes into briefings and gear checks, no matter how much training is done, sometimes all hell breaks loose, and the inevitable happens: the mission goes sideways.
Task Force 141 had been sent on a mission to seize intel from servers on an enemy base. They had been split up into teams to search for the information and load it onto flash drives before making a clean exfil. But alas, life doesn’t always go as planned. The smaller teams were effective for infiltration, but it also meant that they were more vulnerable to being cornered by the enemy.
Ghost and Jaguar had been sent to one side of the base, but as they were getting ready to leave for the RV point for exfil, they got separated.
Ghost was almost frantic, searching their side of the base for Jaguar, determined to not leave her behind, when he heard a piercing scream that he immediately knew meant she’d been captured.
He ran down a few hallways following where he thought the scream had come from, and as he rounded the corner, what he saw made his blood run cold.
Artemis, one of the bright spots of sun in Simon’s life, was being held at knife point by an enemy soldier.
Ghost’s voice was quiet, but laced with firm, intense anger. “Let her go.”
“Ghost, it’s okay.” Jaguar pleads, a note of strain in her voice. “Don’t give them the flash drive.”
Ghost looked past her and to the soldier behind her. “You’re a dead man walking, pal. It’s the way it goes.” His voice was sharp, his hands level as he prepared to shoot. “You either let her go, or I kill you and you still let her go.” He growls, his pistol aimed firmly in their direction.
“How are you so sure you won’t hit her too!?” The soldier sneers, pressing the knife firmly against Jaguar’s throat, causing her to flinch.
“What makes you think I’ll miss?” Ghost hisses, his anger fueled by his concern for Jaguar. He was ready for anything, he would do anything, to make sure that Artemis got out of this alive. “Now let. Her. Go.”
The soldier presses the knife tighter against Jaguar’s throat, causing a thin line of blood to appear.
“You need to get out of here.” Artemis whimpers. “We’re running out of time.”
Ghost’s breath came sharply through his teeth, the pistol in his hand starting to shake. “Don’t give me orders, Jaguar.” He hissed at the soldier. “If you kill her, I’ll make sure you have a slow, painful death.” He vows. “Do you understand me?” He readjusted his grip on the pistol. There was a 50/50 chance this would go the way he wanted it to, but they were running out of time and options.
“The longer I hold you here, the higher the chance I have of reinforcements showing up.” The soldier says. “And like your little girlfriend said, you’re running out of time.”
“You are making every wrong decision here, asshole. Either drop the knife and walk away, or I’ll kill you. There is no third option.” Ghost said firmly, not a hint of emotion present in his voice.
“I think we both know at least one of us isn’t walking away from this.” The soldier huffs a laugh, tilting the flat side of the knife inwards, further opening the wound on Jaguar’s throat.
Ghost’s hands flexed around the pistol as he adjusted his grip. “Last chance.” He said, in a voice that could’ve made ice run through anyone’s veins.
“Fuck you.” The soldier stated, pressing the knife deeper.
Ghost’s voice was completely devoid of emotion. “You’ve made your choice.” He fired a single shot, causing the sound to ring through the surrounding walls.
As soon as the bullet connected with the enemy soldier, both he and Jaguar dropped to the ground. Jaguar fell to her hands and knees, coughing slightly as blood dripped from the knife wound.
“Fuck.” Simon said, the edge in his voice softening. “Artemis. You’re going to be okay. I’ve got you.”
He pulls her close, helping her grab kerlix and saline from her med kit to flush and bandage the wound on her throat.
“This will sting.” He warns as he cleans her throat. “Hold still, okay?”
She nods silently as he tends to her, a stray tear making its way down her face.
“Did he hurt you anywhere else?” He asks her gently, ignoring the cooling body lying on the floor not too far from them. He began to check her over, gently tending to her. “Does anything else hurt?” He asks softly.
“No, it was just the knife.” She answers.
He nods. “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this.” Simon promises.
“Alright, you should be good for now. Let me know if you start getting lightheaded.” He says as he finishes bandaging her.
Artemis gives him a soft smile. “You might just replace me as the medic.”
“Never.” He replies, a small smile forming under his mask. “Just breathe, you’re okay.” He opens a water bottle and hands it to her.
“We need to meet up with the rest of the team.” She says as she takes a few careful sips of the water.
Ghost nodded. “I agree.” He looked around the room as he put the medical supplies away. “Can you stand?”
“I’m okay.” Jaguar nods. “Just a little shaken.”
Ghost nods again, taking her arm. “It’s not every day you have a knife held to your throat.” He helped Jaguar to her feet, supporting her by the waist as she stood back up. “Just take it slow and steady.”
“Yeah.” She says quietly.
Ghost’s gaze was steady as they prepared to move forward. He glanced behind them, seeing the soldier he’d killed, lying face down in a pool of his own blood.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner.” His voice is quiet, laced with guilt. “If I had been here sooner, then…” He trails off. “I hope you can forgive me.”
“It’s my fault.” Jaguar shakes her head. “I didn’t clear the room fast enough, and he cornered me.”
“Don’t blame yourself. We both made mistakes, but we’re both here. That’s what matters.” He looks down at her, placing a hand under her chin before pressing a kiss to the top of her head through his mask. “Come on, let’s get back to the others.”
As they approach to meet up with the rest of the team, Soap’s eyes widen when he sees the bandages around Jaguar’s throat. “What happened?” He asks.
Ghost looks between Jaguar and Soap. “A little misunderstanding with a knife. She’s fine now.”
He looked back at Jaguar, keeping a close eye on her. She was tough, but everyone has a limit. Simon just hopes she’ll be okay.
“Bastard cornered me.” Jaguar explains. “But I guess my scream carried far enough, Ghost heard me.”
“I wish I had been faster.” Simon says softly to her, a note of sadness in his eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.” She confirms, gently tugging a strap on Simon’s vest. “I’m okay.”
Simon caught the tug, looking down at her hands. “Is something wrong?” He asks, voice gentle as he lets her tug the strap.
“No, just fidgeting.” Artemis says, shaking her head.
“If you say so.” Ghost replied. His eyes were soft as he looked at her. He placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head up to look at him. “Are you ready to finish the objective?”
“Yeah, let’s finish this.” Jaguar said firmly, looking him in the eye.
Ghost nodded, steeling his nerves before turning back to the rest of the Task Force. “We’ve made it this far, we’re almost there. Let’s get this done.”
As they approached the exit, he spoke up. “Everyone stay alert. We still have enemies out here.”
They finished the rest of the mission with no issues, finding a few more key pieces of intel before crashing the enemy servers.
As soon as the mission was declared completed, they started the exfil process. Jaguar went back and forth between the soldiers, attending to any wounds they acquired throughout the mission. Ghost kept an eye on her, letting out a sigh of relief when exfil came.
He had been suppressing his emotions the entire mission, and was reaching a point where he wouldn’t be able to for much longer.
One the way back to base, Simon sat next to Artemis, trying to gauge how she was doing. “Are you alright?” He asked softly.
“I’m okay.” She nods.
“Good, I’m glad.” He says, a small smile crossing his face.
When they arrive back to base, Jaguar grabs her med kit in preparation for debriefing before heading to the med bay to restock and help with any casualties.
“Jaguar, wait.” Ghost calls to her. “I’ll come find you when you’re done and walk you back to the barracks.”
“Alright.” She smiles gently at him.
When Artemis was done in the med bay, Simon was waiting for her just outside, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
He held out his arm for her to take, and they started walking over to the barracks together. “Stay close, okay?” He said. Simon had something important to tell her, but he wanted to make sure they were alone before saying anything.
“Okay.” She said, wrapping her hands around his outstretched arm.
Simon looked around before opening the door to his barracks room, gently closing the door behind them, sliding his mask off as he does so.
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you, Artemis.” He started quietly, avoiding eye contact as he spoke. It was obvious he was a little uncomfortable with what he wanted to say, but he pressed onward.
He cleared his throat before continuing. “I care about you…a lot. In a way I’ve never felt about anyone before…I…I love you.”
Her eyes widen in surprise, but a smile crosses her face, a faint blush accompanying the smile. “You…you love me?”
His eyes meet hers for the first time since he started speaking. He nodded once, holding eye contact. “You heard right.” He smiled. “I love you.”
Simon knew he hadn’t been this emotionally vulnerable in a long time. He had never admitted feelings like this before, much less out loud to someone else. But he knew he needed to tell her, especially after what had happened today.
“I love you too.” She replied softly as she carefully wound her arms around him, being mindful of the bandages on her throat.
Simon wrapped his arms gently around her, pulling her into a strong, secure hug.
He kissed the top of her head, a wide smile splitting his face. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to tell you that.” He whispers.
“Probably about as long as I’ve been wanting to tell you.” She giggles softly.
He let out an emotionally charged sigh, before laughing. “Then we’re both a pair of idiots, aren’t we?”
It was amazing how quickly things could go from horrible to perfect.
“Maybe.” She laughs as well. “But that makes me your idiot.”
Simon let out another amused laugh, before pulling away slightly so he could press his lips to hers. “Well then maybe I’m your idiot too.” He smiles into the kiss, his arms tightening around Artemis slightly.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated!
Masterlist
#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x oc#hurt/comfort#cod mw2#i just want someone willing to do whatever it takes to protect me#get you a man who will hear you scream and come running to save you#lawd have merthy#i kinda cheated on the song for this one#i had two playing#'rest in peace' by dorothy#and#'the summoning' by sleep token#idc#its my fic ill write how i want#also stay tuned for a part 2#there's more
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
so a super old friend from literal primary school just reached out to me for the first time in like over a decade and they have a kid now and stuff and I'm just sitting with the fact that I'm like almost in my late 20's and literally have nothing to show for it.
Like 'what have you been up to'
Literally nothing. Trauma and nasty people being nasty. Im essentially back to where I was as a teen. So anyway, cute kid 🥺 I'm gonna keel over and die now.
#no but its literally super sweet of them to reach out obviously cause they 100% did have to at all#like we initially went to the same high school but they moved to a different school cause bullying and we kinda grew apart#like they have always been a super nice person to me and because of all the shit ive been through this past decade#i really dont have any friends left so having someone think of me made me super teary and sad#anyway maybe check in on people you used to be friends with cause they may be going through some tough times and its just nice to hear that#someone is thinking of you#i could literally ball my eyes out cause i experienced such debilitating mental illness as a kid that i didnt have treated til in my 20s an#i feel like its a huge reason none of the people that i thought were my friends stuck around and i just feel super lonely a lot#like yay my brains finally healing but now what#anyway sorry to ramble im just a bit fragile right now#its brought up a lot of really nice memories and i just cant believe how old those memories are and i wish i was a better friend#not dnp#lol#bipswordvomit#sorry i try to keep my real life off here for the most part but i guess anonymously screaming into the digital void is freeing sometimes
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
what was ur favorite part of the con
- person who did not get to go
so glad you asked this because I have an answer raring to go. it was this
#asks#the reason i am yelling so much abt the new shows is not cuz i want clout on my youtube channel its cuz i NEED everyone to see what it takes#dook and beach bear sing together during the chorus. beach bear scream sings. what more could you ask for#but what rly makes this moment for me is everyone else in the crowd screaming lol#it felt like i was at a 'real' concert in that moment it was kinda amazing#i think someone in the crowd behind me was crying#i just love seeing other ppl get as excited abt these guys as me lmao#there was a crazy nice sense of community watching those shows it just peaked here#also hearing him sing like that tripled my crush on him but that goes without saying. good lird
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why is being a living exisiting human being so very confusing 🙃
#my brain is genuinely the worst place on planet earth ahaha!!#anyways the story that is bringing this on is actually nice i suppose but im exhausted so. let me just get into it and perhaps the dilemna#will make itself more aparant.#basically i hate interacting with people. its exhausting. like genuinely just takes so much brain power and social battery from me. even for#simple things. anyways so im telling someone this in my usual jokey way “im being tortured and kept outside of my home where i could be#chilling with a book“ so the other person is like oh you cant stay inside forever and ever. but then goes on to say from interacting with me#theyd never have guessed that i have such a hard time with talking and hanging out with people. that i never make someone feel like im tired#them or dont wanna talk to them etc. and internally im screaming because like. that is something i stress out so much about because i strugg#le so much with my responses and tone etc etc. thats why its so exhausting for me because im just constantly focussed on what im Supposed to#be like. the other part of me was kind of pleased in a way because i feel so painfully awkward that it stresses me out that people can see#right through me and think that i hate them when its not that i just. hate human interaction because its so tiring. so hearing that was like#oh so no one can even tell and i am stressing. for nothing. dw though this info will not help my brain learn to stop stressing out though#lmao. anyways final point i suppose is that the person also says that even if i am 'awkward' i sort of use it to my advantage and it doesnt#come across in an unsavoury way. anyways idk what to do with all this info. because the way i feel on the inside is so. and i worry a lot#about people seeing that on the outside. but part of me sort of wants it too because i just feel like absolutely no one fucking knows me?#and while i guess that was maybe my goal i also hate it? i shall rb a quote after this. anyways. idk what im saying. i dont fucking know. im#just so tired. so fucking tired.#le text post
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
SORRY 4 EMESIS BLUE POSTING . IT WILL RESUME IN THE MORNING
#lolaa.txt#FUCK i have so many thoughts and things i want to redraw#the one scene where its soldier running thru the tunnels and all you can hear are the screams. OBSESSED. i replayed it twice i was enamored#looks at mutuals . will someone ask me about this god damned film
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Small Rant
I very rarely scroll through tiktok for Brandon content bc its a barren desert but
Boy, the top liked tiktok under the winx brandon search never fails to piss me off. The tiktok was a screen-record of the S4 scene where Mitzi kisses Brandon and Stella is shocked.
The entire comment section is bashing Brandon like....bro.
Its flooded with comments like "Stella should have broken up with him", "All the specialists are red flags" and "Stella deserves better"
First of all, how dare you.
Second of all, is it childish to be so pressed about hate comments about a fictional character? Maybe. Am I still defending him because I'm a Brandon stan? Yes.
You best bet I am exploding all you people in the comments with my mind.
#cannot stand vitriol against brandon#especially since he has one of the most healthy rs in the group with stella#putting aside the s4 is creating drama for the sake of it argument#i understand stellas anger but homegirl threatened to vaporise mitzi idk what else brandon is supposed to do#i also feel his blushing reaction can be perceived as embarassment bc its a possible reaction aft he's been suddenly kissed#while i think he could have been a bit more understanding#i dont think ppl would react very well to your gf screaming at you after you've been involuntarily kissed by someone else#not to mention hes been trying to make up for it for the rest of the season#and has tried to explain himself multiple times but stella was still mad and refused to hear#at least from my memory thats what i rmb#both parties are at fault to a degree and its wrong to pin all the blame onto brandon#am i coping? maybe. deal with it#also WHY DID THE REST OF THEM NOT STEP IN TO EXPLAIN????#s4 and their weird ass misunderstanding plots#tldr do not slander brandon in front of me!!! i WILL go ape!!!#the audacity for them to say all specialists are red flags AFTER SEEING BRANDON OF ALL PEOPLE#narrative aside...i think the most ludicrous comment is 'stella is too hot for him'#ARE U CRAZY#THEY'RE BOTH HOT#DONT LIE TO YOURSELF#jester talks about stuff#jester losing it
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
There is something in looking at someone and seeing their pain. Seeing them try to be strong and cope in devastating ways. Thinking to yourself I hope they find peace but then realizing they are holding a mirror to who you are. It’s looking into a muddy puddle and seeing your own reflection. It’s thinking I am so sorry you are living like this, and realizing that you too are living in that way. It’s a twisted sort of kinship to both be lost.
#MyLife#pain#Im mentally screaming#MyRambles#Written wordss#its bizarre to think “you are torturing yourself” about someone and realizing that if you could hear yourself speak you’d think the same#It’s not being wrong together it’s feeling like you are both wrong#It’s being brave to the world but when their defenses are down you see a self imposed prison#Wondering why would you confine yourself to this wretched place#Then tilting your head and realizing that you too are behind bars#It’s surreal to live ‘righteously’ and to see where that righteousness gets you#Idk man I’m experiencing too many thoughts#I just keep going back to that church group meeting#And my conversation with my mom#Am I wrong to think I am wrong#When the group discusses their attempts to smother the wrongness to live with it but keep it silent I am in immense pain#In pain for them and then I realize in pain for me#That assignment of mine really ate me tf up#I wouldn’t be thinking this hard without it#This first part feels poetic but I just view the world like lyrics waxing and waning#So as I say bad poetry#CreativEndeavors
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
recently passed the 20 song mark on my kirby/jill playlist perhaps someone here would like to join me in my madness
#jill roberts#kirby reed#scream 4#scre4m#they are so quote unquote toxic yuri as the people would say#i am passionate about them and this playlist is on my mind often so i hope someone enjoys#a couple are for ghostface kirby au i wish i could add notes to the tracks so it could be specified#otherwise you have to ask me or live in my mind to understand :/#Spotify#also witchking/angmar does not have updated lyrics online and they are difficult to hear but trust me. Trust me. Its them.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
the only advantage to having auditory processing problems is when customers get an attitude when I ask them to repeat something for me, at which point I go "sorry, I have trouble with processing audio" and most people are not aware that there's a difference between processing audio and hearing so they immediately jump to the belief that they have just been rude to a deaf/hoh person and the guilt on their faces is immaculate every single time
#this was a major thing when masks were mandatory because turns out ive been lip reading this entire time#I can hear people but I have so much trouble with processing#masks aren't mandatory anymore but I work in a mall right next to a smoothie stand#and down the hall from the playground full of screaming children#with radios blasting everywhere#so trying to focus in on someone speaking to me is. a challenge#genuinely cant stand when people catch an attitude over me being unable to figure out what theyre saying#its so rude for no reason. god forbid you repeat yourself#there's like three blenders going and some kid outside is screaming bloody murder SPEAK UP
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
im just like spongebob (employee of the month)
#trying to make a positive out of this <3 (guy who is handling this genuinely insanely and i mean that in the truest sense of the word)#i dont want it i keep telling people that and they keep reacting like im unwell or like its coming from a place of insecurity </3#i know what im capable of at my job! i dont need that validated! i do not care that much about my work unfortunately!#maybe ill be proud of it one day but as it is this feels like a fluke of offering to help the right people and pity#bc it IS a popularity contest and i dont want to win that. to be honest i dont know these people well and they do NOT know me#getting it just feels like a testament to how im killing myself for a job i hate because im too cowardly to leave#or to even just care a little less. ive tried to explain this to a few people and it has gone over like a sack full of concrete#which is even WORSE because i KNOW how intensely some of them want employee of the month and i was trying to#avoid telling them about it at all because i dont want it!!! they can have it!!! they dont need to hear what i feel about it (insulted)#because you would not believe this but telling someone who desperately wants employee of the month#that you don't want to receive it because it feels like a slap in the face does NOT GET RECEIVED WELL!!!!!#i dont wanna manage other peoples feelings about it im having enough trouble managing my own!!#i had to get called to a team huddle and lose time i couldnt afford to lose in my department that is still drowning incidentally#to be put on the spot and congratulated by people who dont know me and were confused by how miserable i looked#it was like a fucking nightmare!! i had to run out back and scream for a bit and cried so hard i strained my back#could barely stand for the rest of the day not that it mattered because i had no choice if i didnt want to completely fall behind#employee of the month. fuck. i never wanted to be recognized in the first place but if it feels like this then why would i want it!!!!
1 note
·
View note
Text
Taylor Allison Swift said i could not.
She was right. She was so damn right.
#crying screaming throwing up.#just trying at the end#she littalry said and its the only reason i will not#but is so hard#its so f hard#taylor allison swift thank for all u music but u made me realise so luch of the thigns people have done to me#i do love her so much and its creeping inside me#every time again#it so bad for me#cant let it go#taylor allison swift#just gonna listen to the prophecy on repeat bcs how will i get over all the people that didnt love le#like just once pls#just once i want to hear i love you#and it takes me back every time#really have to stop being friends wigh people that are so beautiful#like i just cant do it another time again and again#just want to hear someone say a real i love you#always the wallflower#always last#always nothing#always the just a good friend#im so over it#can i have a hug from her again bcs it would possibly the only thing that would ever heal me right now#a hug like that forver#e#i mean what if taylor actually made me have a reason to try harder#i will#i will in the time#but i will at least try
0 notes