#if you haven't seen one and don't know which to watch then I highly recommend getting all I want for christmas is zoo

[personinthepalace]

Mischief Movie Night In on Demand!

The most recent run of mmni shows is available to watch on demand until December 31st, 2024! Find more info and get tix here

from Mischief's twitter

[beansprean]

WHAT WE CLUE IN THE SHADOWS: A FINALE CONSPIRACY BOARD

So. WWDITS may have the actual balls to do this to us. and I for one am INCREDIBLY excited for the possibility. If you're a WWDITS fan and haven't seen Clue (1985), I highly recommend taking 95 minutes to do so before the finale. Just in case.

Clue is my favorite movie, I have probably seen it upwards of 100 times for real, and I can recite it from memory with 90% accuracy. I also have the pleasure of owning and playing the WWDITS-themed Clue game, which is centered around finding out who stole the witch's skin hat and where in the house they hid it. I don't know if that will play into the finale at all, but it's something to think about.

The thing about Clue (the film), if you aren't aware, is that there are three different endings. On the vhs/dvd, you see all three in a row between 'that's how it could have happened, but what about this?' title cards. In theaters, there were three versions of the movie (labeled A, B, and C) that were dispersed to different theaters, so depending on where and when you went to see it you would see one of 3 endings. (It's kinda unclear which letter corresponded to which originally, so my labels will be assuming a 1:1 comparison between the order of the home version of Clue and the airing order of the WWDITS episodes.) The Clue endings are not all made equal, and on the home version, the final ending is announced as 'what really happened.'

So allow me to take a moment to talk about how the different endings work in context to each other and the film, and how that could translate to three different endings for WWDITS.

CLUE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT (for real, go watch it)

(last chance to watch Clue go)

Ending#1: "Communism is just a red herring"

In this ending, the first one that plays in the home version, Miss Scarlet is revealed to be the murderer. She is a snarky, sarcastic madam who runs a "hotel and telephone service to provide men with the company of a young lady for a short while" and has policemen on her payroll. This is what I would consider the expected ending, the one that makes sense for most viewers. It's not shocking, but it's funny and well acted and it makes the most sense. Miss Scarlet has the right personality for murder, was in the most convenient area of the house to commit them, and had Yvette (the maid, formerly one of Miss Scarlet's call girls) committing some of the murders at her direction, so she had enough alibis to not make her too obvious. Many people watching this movie for the first time will have her high on their suspect list.

This ending also dismisses the idea of 'dangerous communism' that had been a thread throughout the film (as it is set in 1953 during the second Red Scare) as a misdirection. Miss Scarlet isn't stealing government secrets to betray the US; she's doing it to make money. The real danger all along was capitalism, something that s6 of WWDITS has said repeatedly.

So, to recap, this is the Standard Ending. The Second Best ending. Version B.

Ending #2: "Mrs. Peacock did it all."

This one, played second in the home version, is in my opinion the weakest ending. It reveals Mrs. Peacock, the neurotic, hysterical, and allegedly politically corrupt wife of a senator, as the murderer. She's hilarious and fantastic to watch throughout the whole film and I love her, but this charm drops after the reveal and she becomes cold and drab as she threatens her way to safety. She committed all the murders herself, which would be very difficult to achieve with the tight timing and her position in the basement during the search.

She ends up being caught outside the house by a police inspector, who had earlier shown up disguised as an evangelist telling her to "repent, the kingdom of heaven is at hand." Interestingly, they originally filmed him immediately shooting her dead without provocation, but they thought that was too dark and edited it into an arrest instead (which is why there is such a quick cut after he pulls his gun, and we only hear her rather than see her after that). This is the 'repent for your sins' ending. You do bad things, bad things happen to you.

The obligatory "it's always who you least expect" ending. The Still-Good-But-Not-The-Best Ending. Version C.

Ending #3: "You're Mr. Boddy!"

This is "how it really happened" - the twist ending! The hero was the villain, the villain was just a pawn, and everyone committed a murder in the house to cover their own asses. Prof Plum killed the fake Mr. Boddy, Miss Scarlet killed the cop, Mrs. Peacock killed Mrs. Ho (the cook), Mrs. White killed Yvette, Colonel Mustard killed the motorist, and Wadsworth/Mr. Boddy killed the singing telegram girl.

Mr. Green, who reveals he works for the FBI, kills Wadsworth/Mr. Boddy and arrests the rest of the cast. Understandably the best and most exciting ending (though not without some plot holes) that everyone loves. We get a surprising reveal from two of our main characters that not only changes the context with how you view them, but informs aspects of their character that have been there throughout the film! Now we understand why Wadsworth retained control of the house and the timeline of events, why he was so familiar with the house, and why this entire thing was orchestrated in the first place. We also understand why the cowardly and clumsy Mr. Green was consistently the first to jump to help and defend the other characters, even when it meant putting himself if physical danger. Unfortunately this ending also suggests that he was only pretending to be gay (wouldn't that be a twist for Guillermo lol), but he could also just be in a lavender marriage which is what I choose to believe.

This ending also has the iconic 'flames on the side of my face' scene and repeats 'communism is a red herring', this time in the context of Mr. Boddy's intention to continue blackmailing them all now that they have taken care of anyone who could have pointed the finger at him.

This is the True Ending. The twist you didn't expect but are delighted to find. The 'nothing was as it seemed' endng. The ending that is the most intentional and complete, where everyone gets to shine. Version A.

So what will we be doing in those shadows?

We can assume that e11 will not revolve around finding a murderer, but it does, from what we've seen in the trailer, revolve around making a wife for the monster. Do we get three different wives? Three different actors to play her? Three different superhero identities for Nandor and Guillermo? Three different levels of nandermo: one with a handshake, one with a hug, one with a kiss? Three different explanations for the origin and/or purpose of the documentary? (this is my personal favorite) Or is each ending entirely divorced from the other? Only time will tell.

What I'm leaning toward is that each episode will come up to the same turning point - a decision, a reveal, etc. The first two versions will have reasonable possibilities, the first less surprising but more enjoyable than the second, and the third... The third will be what really happened, and pull a twist no one saw coming. Perhaps even a character will reveal a hidden identity. Maybe, just maybe...we get Simon the Devious.

I only hope the order of the episodes doesn't change between channels or time zones because that will make things very confusing when liveblogging it in the group chat lmao.

[alltimefail]

Agency Assignments: A comprehensive to-do list for saving Dead Boy Detectives!

I'm very easily overwhelmed, so I wanted to break down all the ways to help "Save Dead Boy Detectives" that I have seen floating around. This is meant to be something you can reference when you feel like there is so much you need and want to do to help, but don't know how or where to start.

Note: I will be updating this post as we go when necessary, so feel free to bookmark it in your browser for easy access, add it to your homepage, whatever! I'll always have a link to it in my Pinned Navigation post on my blog as well!

It is of the utmost importance that we fight as an organized, well-informed front. We need to be on the same page if we're going to save our show, so let's get into it! 💜💀🔎

➪ First and foremost, follow @savethedeadboys! They're going to be our best resource during this fight.

➪ Next, follow @deadboyagency for news and updates: they've been around since the show dropped and have been an invaluable source of information the entire time.

Now for some task breakdowns:

"One-Time" Tasks

➪ Like the header says, these things can only be done once. Once you do them, you don't have to give them any space in your mind.

Sign the petition*

Review & Rate Dead Boy Detectives on Google, IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes. Be sure on IMDB you don't just rate the show as a whole, but you also rate each individual episode! You can also "Like" the show on Google and click "Watched" which helps the show's engagement scores. (If there are other popular sites I haven't listed here, feel free to share them and rate Dead Boy Detectives highly on them!)

Notify Netflix customer service (through their online chat feature) that you're unhappy with the cancelation of Dead Boy Detectives. This is a short, 5-minute task that I wrote a guide on (with an example message) here!

"Repeat" Tasks:

➪ These tasks can become a part of your daily routine; do what works best for you! You don't have to do every single one of these tasks every day if that is overwhelming!

Share the petition* over and over again, on every one of your socials! Make everyone you love sign it!

Stream Dead Boy Detectives!* Keep it on a loop in the background on low volume as much as possible. Try to get others to stream it as well, especially if they haven't watched it before! Netflix cares about VIEWS: views save shows and I broke down the reasoning here. (Bonus: if you post over on Twitter about your rewatch, use the tag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives)

Talk about Dead Boy Detectives!* You're probably doing that already, but just be sure that you're tagging your posts. Here on Tumblr use the "Dead Boy Detectives" tag at least (to boost our tag to trending) and anywhere that uses hashtags (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram for example) I would recommend #SaveDeadBoyDetectives and #DeadBoyDetectives as those seem to be the most commonly used tags! IMPORTANT: do not use more than 20 tags here on Tumblr! Any more than 20 and your posts might be marked as spam and hidden from the tags!

Create art, edits for TikTok, fics, gif sets, doodles, crafts, analysis posts, and so on for Dead Boy Detectives.* Having fun is important, too! This is an extension of the "Talk about Dead Boy Detectives" point, but it needs to be stated - don't remove the joy from the fight. If a drawing of our boys or a smutty fic with your favorite trickster cat king is what you can bring to the fight on any given day, that is a perfectly valuable contribution! It's not all emails and hashtags.

Daily request a show through Netflix. Bonus if you're signed in! (I do 3-5 times a day)

Send Emails advocating for Dead Boy Detectives (Email list & Email Template). You can do this as much as you want or just one time.

Send Snail-mail (physical letters) to Netflix advocating for Dead Boy Detectives. I also send a copy of my letters to Warner Bros. Studios. Again, you can do this one time or multiple times. There are dates set aside for "mass" mail sending as well, so check out info on that here!

Interact with articles posted about Dead Boy Detectives. Read them, share them, comment on them, thank the writer for writing them, etc. We want lots of press about the cancellation, and supporting journalists and publications will make them want to write about Dead Boy Detectives more.

NOTE: Anything marked with a * means it's extremely important; if you can only do a few things, these tasks are the ones that you should focus on first. Remember to take care of yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so don't burn yourself out!

WE WILL SAVE THIS SHOW.

Say that to yourself as many times as it takes for you to believe it. We're doing this to get justice for the writers, the actors, for ourselves, and assert to these companies that diverse, queer stories are not disposable one-offs; they deserve to be told in full!

Hugs and Handshakes to you all - whatever will suffice. 💜 Always feel free to reach out if you have any questions, whether that be through private message or my ask box. I'm not going anywhere!

- V

[twig-tea]

GL odds and ends 6 October 2024

I haven't been as good at posting about shows as I wanted to be, so I'm trying a round-up format instead because it feels like a lot of GLs skirt under the radar. It's exciting that we're in a time when there's enough GL airing that it's worth doing a round-up! This was a great week for the lesbians to figure themselves out, so it feels like a good week to start. No idea how regularly I'll do this, need to figure out a cadence that makes sense.

Currently airing (with thoughts up to Oct 6):

Reverse 4 U 5/8 (Thai, Tuesdays 1:00 PM EDT, Netflix / YouTube) This week the girls finally sorted themselves and we got set up for the main plot to start next week. I was initially really stoked about this one and then a little bummed that it's not taking it's very cool premise and the stakes it establishes as seriously as it could be, but I'm still hoping it will start to have real stakes in the main plot stretch.

The Two of Us s2 ep 6/6 END (Thai, 29 Aug-3 Oct 2024, YouTube) It was so great seeing women in their 40s being romantic together but I did not love the plot of this one; I find their romantic conflicts too juvenile (lots of easily-triggered jealousy). The moments they're being sweet are great though.

Unlock Your Love ep 4/8 (Thai, Wednesdays, GagaOOLala / YouTube [cut version]) This is the first episode that this series felt a little more assured; I liked the series this production company produced with a short run time, it feels like this series has been worse off for its longer episodes. That being said, when these couples get to do their thing like in this episode, they have good chemistry.

Chaser Game W s2 ep 3/8 (Japanese, Thursdays 12:30 PM EDT, GagaOOLala) @lurkingshan is already doing a great summary of this week to week in her JQL weekly round-up!

Affair the series ep 6/8 (Thai, Fridays 11:15 AM EDT, iQIYI/ YouTube) Finally! I liked that it was Ek pointing out that Wan was unhappy the entire time she was gone that finally got Pleng to give in to her desire to be with Wan. This show is so melodramatic but the emotional threads follow and the character motivations are clear and consistent; I'm enjoying it in spite of not loving melodramatic storylines in general. It helps that the acting in this one is excellent.

The Loyal Pin ep 10/16 (Thai, Sundays 12:15 PM EDT, YouTube) Glad we finally got confirmation of Patt's history! And I'm relieved Anin knows she has an ally, though I feel like it's given her false confidence that worries me. These two are stressing me out by how bad they are at being careful but I do love how desperate they are for each other, as well as how beautiful this show is.

Red Whisper ep 2/8 (Korea, Wednesdays and Sundays, YouTube) Starting with cheating is not my fave but is par for the course with these SukFilm short series; my fave so far has been their first GL so if you haven't seen that yet I'd honestly recommend that instead.

Recent One-offs

Out of Breath (re-release in a bingeable version; Korean, YouTube) Highly recommended! Also the creator, Soo not Sue, announced she's working on another series to hopefully air before the end of the year, which I am super stoked about.

The Suffering of Xiqing Mountain (Chinese (censored), YouTube)

Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out

Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so

Recently ended that I haven't had the wherewithal to write about:

Hoshikuzu Telepath (fansub) Thank you to @yuiyuihan for your hard work making it possible to watch this series! I I haven't read the original manga but I do know they changed the kiss communication to a forehead rest; Unsurprised that this adaptation, starring idols in the same group, would be left ambiguous in terms of whether their feelings are friendly or romantic. I liked what this series was trying to say, but in all honestly didn't love the execution. It's too bad because I absolutely love the concept of an alien being helped by girls obsessed with building rockets.

The Secret of Us 8 eps [complete] (24 Jun-15 Aug 2024, YouTube) I first included this in my recommendations from the summer and then retracted, but I ended up liking this series and then never updated again. So to set the record straight: Though it lost me in the middle, the ending on this series won be back over. I really appreciated the way this series handled filial piety and balancing that against personal happiness. I appreciated SO MUCH that the main characters decided together how to handle Lada's situation with her mother. I finally understood too late that Earn believed the lies Lada's mother told her in ep1, and that affected some of their decisions in the middle of the series. I still think the execution was wobbly, but the acting and chemistry between the two leads carries this series through. This has some of the best domestic fluff in any GL, as well as my favourite GL counter lift to date. And it's gorgeous. Tentatively recommended with the caveat that you do have to either enjoy or power through the melodrama in the middle.

Starting soon:

Apple My Love, Thai, 12 October, GagaOOLala

Pluto, Thai, 19 October, VIU

The Nipple Talk, Taiwanese, 1 November GagaOOLala

My Ex's Wedding [in theatres in Thailand 14 November]

Petrichor, Thai, 23 November, TBD

[from-the-clouds]

bad liars (savior complex ii) - joel miller x f!reader

part one | masterlist | song inspo |

Baby, you're a vampire You want blood and I promised...

summary: It's been a month since Joel has last seen you, fully healed since your last interaction. But you haven't spoken...at all. Your radio silence becomes cause for concern when he hears about an outbreak of Infected at the hospital where you work. There's enough explanation in this part that you could read it on it's own, probably, but I'd highly recommend reading part one first to get the full experience. pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 7.9k warnings: SMUT - 18+ ONLY, minors DNI. (porn w/ plot, unprotected sex, oral, rough sex, dirty talk, praise kink, age gap. dom/sub dynamics.) Heavy angst, multiple POVs, implied drug abuse, alcohol use, canon-typical suffering! Blood mention. Both reader/Joel are insanely emotionally unavailable, and love to lie to themselves and each other! (please dm for specifics if you have any questions). a/n: Ya'll loved savior complex and I'm so happy! Literally don't think I've had a fic get that many notes before, i had so many requests for a part two and because it felt like i left things open-ended enough, this came to me pretty easily! It might be the horniest thing I've ever written and also very angsty (what's new?)....but I think you'll like the ending <3 Special to @ay0nha for letting me yell at you about my writing and to @zbeez-outlet for the wonderful idea.

Joel exhales and runs his fingers through his salt-and-pepper hair – the tips of which were frozen together from standing outside for so long. It had gotten cold out. Very cold. Boston always did this time of year, and because of it, people stayed in, and crime in the QZ dropped, making it a safer place - though that wasn’t saying much. 

Of course, the cold didn’t stop him from dealing. It did make his job a hell of a lot more difficult, since FEDRA was bored, out looking for trouble, and didn’t have more pressing matters to attend to. Although today, he must’ve been in luck, because the only sign of FEDRA had been helicopters and tanks that were clearly on a mission, driving to the opposite side of the QZ. Good, he had thought. A distraction. 

Joel leans back against the brick wall of the alleyway, pulling the hood of his jacket up over his ears, stares at the ice in the cracks of the pavement. When he hears the crunch of gravel underfoot, he straightens.

The man approaching looks nervously over his shoulder, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his flimsy sweatshirt. Dave, a customer of his for some time. 

“You’re late,” Joel doesn’t bother with a proper greeting.

“I know, I know, I got held up on my way here,” Dave answers, immediately beginning his excuse. “They cleared out the hospital because of an outbreak, that whole area was locked down so I had to take the long way.”

“Outbreak?” Joel tilts his head.

“Infected. I guess a bunch of hospital staff got bit. FEDRA had to go in and put them all down.” 

Joel feels a distant pang of concern somewhere in the back of his head. “How many?”

Dave shrugs, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know, man, that’s all I know. It’s not like they’ll ever tell anyone what actually happened.”

Joel can’t help but think of you. He knows a couple people who work at the hospital, most of them through smuggling, but you’re the only one who he’s really able to bring to mind at the moment.

“So, can we, uh…”

Joel pulls the plastic baggie out from his pockets, fishing out the pills. On his end, Dave produces a wad of credits, his shoulders sagging in relief once they’ve made the trade and the drugs are in his hand. He takes one immediately, shoves the rest in his pocket. “Thanks man, I’ll see you next week?”

Leaning back against the wall, he nods, and watches his customer disappear down the alleyway. 

The second Dave is out of sight, Joel’s chest tightens, and he takes a deep breath. There’s no reason why news of Infected at the hospital should concern him. If FEDRA had been called in – they would’ve gunned down anything that moved until it was under control. He knew, better than anyone, that they would do unspeakable things in the name of keeping order. Innocent people probably died, but the dead can’t get infected.

It had been about a month since Joel had last seen you, after he’d gotten beaten within an inch of his life and ended up on your doorstep, and you were the only person that could help. It hadn’t gone at all how he expected it would – at the end of the day, he had been surprised by your tenderness. 

Still, despite that you’d let him take you on the edge of your bed, legs wrapped around him, bouncing on his cock, he wouldn’t really say that it changed anything about your relationship. He had actually been kind of afraid that it would, that your attitude towards him would shift to something more amicable.

But you hadn’t spoken to him in a month. Joel had told you he owed you one after you stitched him up, and had anticipated that you’d take him up on his offer pretty quickly. There were so many things he could do for you to make your situation better. Maybe you’d need credits…. Medicine…. Food…. Booze… Pills, something, but you haven’t reached out. You could just be biding your time until you really need the favor.

Still, the radio silence takes him aback. He should be relieved that you aren’t talking to him. But nothing? Even if it’s not about a favor…he wants some kind of confirmation that you’d both made a mistake. After all that, did you really expect nothing from him?

It dawns on him there’s now a chance you’ll never speak to him again, because you’re one of the ones that FEDRA killed. Or worse….you had gotten bit. 

Joel passes by the hospital, taking the long way home. Everything is locked down, taped off. There’s a crowd around the place – family members, he assumes, pleading with FEDRA agents for information and getting nothing in return.

“Go home. I’m sure they’ll turn up,” he hears one of them say to a weeping woman. It’s useless to ask for an honest answer, for one of them to actually care. 

Joel could go home. He could crush a couple pills, snort them, and quell the burn with a couple drinks. He could fall into restless sleep and wake up the next day as he always did, go about his business as usual. Survive. One day at a time. 

Would he ever get confirmation that you’re alive? Because at this rate, he’s not sure he’ll ever know either way. 

The feeling is going to linger. He hates it. Were you gone? If you are, he can handle knowing. Its somehow worse not to. 

He tries to justify it to himself. You’re one of his solid connections to the hospital, you’d traded with him for medical supplies before. This is business, really, if he thinks about it that way. If you’re dead, he and Tess need to find someone else to work with. 

Joel decides to take a detour on the way back to his place.

It’s past curfew when he arrives at your apartment, the sun has long since dipped below the horizon and with that comes an even harsher cold. Boston winters, he thinks to himself. If he is capable of missing anything, he’d say he missed Texas. Before all this, the last place he’d be caught dead was on the East Coast. 

Joel raps on your front door. He forgets how shitty your building is, that you sleep here alone every night, listening to your neighbors arguing through the thin walls, shady characters slinking out of shadows in the dimly-lit hallway,

A few seconds pass. When he hears nothing behind your door, he knocks again, a little louder. 

More time passes. He knocks again, louder. Maybe you didn’t hear him. 

Nothing. He does it again. Could you be asleep? His jaw clenches.

Still nothing, and Joel knocks even louder. Maybe you’re not even here, and you work nights, and he’s just missed you as you head out for another shift. But he knows that’s unlikely. Since he’s known you, you’ve never worked nights. So where the fuck were you?

Joel’s pounds on your door, yells your name into its chipping paint. He listens for something, anything, on the other side, and there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, but he keeps going The side of his fist starts to hurt, but he can’t stop himself. He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until he hears one of your neighbors yelling from the end of the hallway. 

‘Shut the fuck up!’

Joel doesn’t hear exactly where the voice comes from, but it’s enough to snap him out of it. He halts his movements, his forehead falling against hollow wood, and in the silence, hears his heart pounding in his ears. 

“Fuck!” he kicks the wall just outside the frame of your door so hard the drywall gives, leaving a hole behind. “Fuck.”

He stares at the result of his outburst for an undetermined amount of time. You were all alone. To his knowledge, you had no immediate family to inform. Who would be around to remember you? He’d never really know for sure what had happened. 

“Joel?”

He looks up, his hands still clenched tightly into fists. When he sees that it’s you, standing at the end of the hallway, they loosen. 

You look horrible - haggard, tired, your hair tangled and matted. As you move closer to him, he doesn’t miss the way your shoulders are hunched underneath the weight of your backpack. But once you’re standing in front of him, you straighten, lift your chin. 

“What is this?” you ask. “What are you doing here?”

There’s no animosity in your tone, he thinks. You might be trying to put some in there, but you don’t have the energy to do so, so it just comes out sounding very flat.

Joel realizes, suddenly, that he doesn’t have a reason. A real reason that wouldn’t….give him away. He puts his hands on his hips, thinks desperately. You do nothing to help.

When he settles in silence, offers you nothing, you just sigh and shake your head. Your teeth are chattering, lips cracked from the cold, and you seem desperate to get into shelter, twisting your key into your lock and opening the front door. Once you step inside, you flick on the lights. He follows you, closes the door behind you both, and locks it.

“Oh, yeah, come on in, I guess,” you say over your shoulder. 

Joel crosses his arms, standing in your kitchen. 

“What, am I in trouble or something?” you ask. “Because if I am, you’re gonna have to wait until I’ve showered.”

“It can wait,” Joel says, and sits at one of your kitchen chairs. 

You shrug off of your backpack and leave it on a chair, then unbutton your coat, tossing it on top. Joel swallows hard when he sees the damage it’s been hiding. Your scrubs are dirty, tattered in some places, one of the sleeves hanging, partially ripped off. And they’re covered in dried blood. It’s smeared on your arms, on the back of your neck. Not yours, he hopes. 

What the fuck happened to you? You don’t turn to see his reaction, don’t look over your shoulder to see if he’s going to ask about it. It’s almost like he’s not even there, and you clearly wish he isn’t. 

He realizes then, that he has the confirmation he’s looking for. You made it out alive. He doesn’t actually need anything else from you. And you’ve given him a perfect out. He can leave while you’re in the shower. 

But he doesn’t. Not when he hears the shower start, or the screech of the curtain across the metal rod, the sound of water hitting the basin. He stays there, motionless, until you duck out of the bathroom with your arms wrapped around yourself, wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants, hair damp and teeth chattering. 

You pad with bare feet onto the tiled area of the kitchen, brushing past him. 

“What the fuck happened to you?” he asks. 

You finally look at him, like you’re surprised he spoke up, or even asked the question. A choked, bitter laugh leaves you, and you shift your attention away from him, reaching into your cabinet for a bottle of bourbon. “Pass.”

You pour yourself a whiskey, and Joel watches you throw it back in one go, your nose scrunching up, your hand clasping into a fist as you take the shot. The taste doesn’t stop you from pouring another drink and gulping that one down, too, without as much of a reaction as the first. It’s only when you start pouring the third that he intervenes, standing and crossing the room to cover the glass with his hand before you can grab it. 

“Slow down,” he says.

“I know you’re not telling me what to do in my own home.” Your mouth opens as you look up at him, incredulous. 

Joel looks past you, shakes his head. He supposes your right, but it doesn’t make it any easier to watch the self-destructive behavior, which is funny considering how often he engages in it himself. He gives in, removes his hand from your glass. “At least…pour me one. You shouldn’t drink alone.”

Your expression softens slightly, and he’s able to see all the pain you’re hiding, just for a flash, before you turn to retrieve a second glass from your cabinet. 

Once you hand him the whiskey, he sits in the middle of the tiny loveseat you’ve got in your front room, expecting you to sit in the armchair across from it. Instead, you approach with your own drink, nudge his knee with your own, and Joel slides over to make room so you can fall onto the couch beside him. Much closer than he’d expected. 

It’s surprisingly good bourbon, and he wonders how many times you’d wasted it by downing it like you just had, instead of taking your time, savoring. He waits for you to get settled before he speaks again.

“What happened to you?” he tries once more, a little softer this time. 

There’s some contemplation on your end, you look at him for a moment, then at your glass, then back up at him again. He can almost see you trying to figure out how much you’re going to share, but he wants to know everything.

“There was an accident at the hospital,” you answer, finally. 

Joel slings his arm over the back of the couch, angles his body towards where you’re curled up, legs tucked underneath you. I’m listening.

Your voice stays even, blase. “A guard at the border broke protocol…and someone who was infected was brought in. By the time we realized, it was too late….”

“Were you hurt?” 

“Almost.” you say. “I mean, yes, actually, I’m a little scratched up, but…it’s not as bad as it could’ve been.”

Your teeth start chattering again. Joel wonders if it’s because of the cold, or your nerves. Figures it’s probably both.

“My coworker turned and I uhm….I had to…” you say into your glass, your free hand flexing like it’s trying to shake off some unpleasant muscle memory. “I had no choice.”

“I understand,” For whatever reason, he spares you from telling the story. To him, taking down Infected was nothing. But to you…“What else?” he presses.

You shrug, avoiding his eyes, one of your arms coming to grip at your opposite shoulder. “I can’t really remember. A bunch of people died. FEDRA came in and just started gunning everything down….” you shook your head, and straightened up.

“I heard about that,” Joel offers.

“Wait…you knew about this?”

“Yeah.”

“So then why are you here, asking m-” the rest of your sentence drops off, your lips parted slightly. The look on your face shifts, slowly. Your eyes narrow. Remorse turns into something more neutral, then into curiosity. “Oh my god….you were worried about me.”

“No.”

“Yes, you fucking were,” your lips curl slightly, it’s not quite a smile, but it’s something close to amusement. 

“No,” Joel defends himself. “I wanted to hear what happened from someone–”

“No you didn’t,” you interject, but he raises his voice to finish his thought.

“–who actually works there, not FEDRA’s propaganda.”

“No you did not. You’re checking up on me. You came over here after curfew to see if I was–”

“Enough,” Joel growls with enough conviction that it shuts you up, and he’s grateful, but its not enough to wipe the self-satisfied look on your face, because it doesn’t.

“What are we, like, friends now?”

He doesn’t answer, and slugs back the rest of his whiskey.

“Or would that be too much for you?” You don’t wait long for him to give you an answer, probably because you know he won’t respond. “I mean, if we’re both being honest–” He definitely wasn’t being honest. “–Today was really fucked up.”

You’re leaning forward now, some of the space between you is gone. And though you’re trying to give the impression that you’re unphased by everything, your hand is clenched tightly around your glass, and you avoid his eyes. It’s painful to watch you resist the urge to trust him. Not that he’s ever given you a good enough reason to – he knows he doesn’t deserve it, but he wants it anyways.

“It’s funny…” you say after a while. “I remember thinking that I didn’t want to die. At least… not like that. I’ve never felt that before…That’s something, isn’t it?” you ask him. 

Joel looks at you, and is surprised at the vulnerability in your expression, sees you looking for some kind of validation from him. “....It is.” 

You finish off your drink, and put the empty glass on the coffee table, shift closer to him.

“It looks like you healed up okay,” you say, after a spell. “How’s your shoulder?”

“A little sore, nothing I can’t handle.”

“Did you take those antibiotics?”

“Yes.”

“Good. And I can’t even tell you had a black eye.”

“I’m fine,” Joel asserts. 

Another shiver wracks your body, and he can tell this one is actually from the chill – your apartment is cold as fuck, it even is starting to bother him. 

“Don’t you have a heater?”

“Kinda,” you glance over at the radiator in the corner. “Sometimes it works.”

“What do you do when it’s colder than this?” It was only November, things would only get worse. 

You shrug. “I don’t know….just be colder, I guess.”

Joel imagines you curled up in your bed alone, wrapped in a thin comforter, shaking in front of him like you are now. He winces. 

“How long are you going to stay?” you ask, changing the subject.

“I should probably go now.”

You nod, scoot closer. “But maybe…” you trail off, contemplating. 

Joel sits up straighter, prompting you when you don’t speak again. “Maybe what?”

“Maybe you could stick around for a little while longer.” There’s a warm hand, yours, that lands on his thigh, and he recoils like you’ve touched him with a fire iron. He rises to his feet. 

“Hey,” you stand along with him, step in front of him to block the pathway to the door. He could easily get past you, obviously, but it’s not as simple as that. 

Of course he’s fucking thought about what happened the last time he was here – his arms around your waist, his mouth on your neck, your chest, your hands on his shoulders, whining his name. A freak accident, a glitch in the matrix, a statistically improbable thing. 

“What?” he asks as you step forward, the fingers on your free hand sliding into the belt loops of his pants. He feels blood rush to his cheeks, to other places. And you’re still fucking shivering. You look so fucking miserable, he wants to yell at you to put on a coat, to wrap yourself in a blanket, in his arms. 

“Joel,” you say his name softly, tilting your head up, leaning close. And then your hand is on the side of his face, and he realizes you’re fucking pleading with him. He knows what you want, but he has a feeling this isn’t just about sex. You’re looking for comfort, as if he’s capable of giving it. 

“We made a mistake…once,” he tells you. “We’re not going to make it again.”

He says it to hurt you, but it doesn’t work. It’s like you knew it was coming all along. “I knew what I was doing,” you answer, earnest. “Didn’t you?”

Yes. You glance down at his hands, which are squeezed into fists so tightly, his knuckles are white. If he’s not rigid, he’s not sure how he’ll be able to resist. He wants you. God, he wants you. He never thought he’d be able to have you again. 

“I could help you loosen up.”

Joel’s walking on the edge of a one-thousand foot cliff and hoping his foot slips. He wants to surrender. The only thing he thinks might save him is to say the meanest thing he can. Maybe you’d get turned off.

“Listen to yourself,” he says, finding the strength to meet your eyes. “You want me so bad, you sound pathetic.”

“Asshole,” you step closer, your mouth twitches, your lips are inches apart. “Do you think I care what you think about me?”

Joel realizes his plan has backfired. But he really only has himself to blame, he should’ve known better. With you, he’s never in as much control as he wants to be, and deep down, he likes it. 

“Go lie down on the bed.”

It’s the only thing that seems to shock you. “What?” 

“I won’t ask you again,” Joel steps backwards, crosses his arms. “Go lie down.” 

──────

If you told yourself a couple months ago that one day you’d find yourself pinned down by Joel Miller, you’d think it’d be because he was about to kill you. Maybe because you cheated him out of something, maybe because you did something else to piss him off – it didn’t really matter. Regardless of how fucked up it was, that idea would seem more dignified than what was happening now. 

Your back is being pressed deeper into the lumpy old mattress, and he’s on you. His mouth is warm, hot, wet, and dragging down your neck, nipping, sucking, licking. Your hands are itching to reach out, to skate down his torso, trace along his jawline, tug at his hair, but you can’t because he’s got them pinned above you with only one of his own. Anytime you try to fight him, his grip only grows stronger. 

It was shameful, really, but you had asked for this – begged for it, basically. There were a number of reasons why – one of which was to blow off some steam after a near death experience, the other because you’d fucked him before and it had been good, much to your dismay. There was also a third reason that you weren’t interested in acknowledging now. 

After the night Joel had gotten jumped, and you’d taken care of him, everything has changed. It’s a cliche, but true. You’d known what you were doing when it happened, and had no regrets. But it was probably not supposed to happen again, and you tried to keep it that way, more for his sake than anyone else’s. But….he was the one who showed up tonight after he’d heard what had happened. It wasn’t nothing.

Joel pulls away from you so abruptly that you gasp, shivering in the wake of his impossible warmth. 

“Sit up,” he instructs, and you turn to find him at the end of the bed, arms crossed. 

You obey, mostly just for the view. You hope to admire him, fresh from kissing you – flush skin, wet lips, tousled hair. Only he’s frustratingly stoic, unsullied – like he hadn’t been touching you at all. 

“Look at me,” he says, and you do. 

“This doesn’t mean anything.”

“It’s nothing,” you agree. 

“I won’t be gentle.”

“I don’t want you to be gentle.”

“Good,” you watch his shoulders loosen, just a little, and he takes one step backwards, his eyes tracing down your body and then back up. “Strip for me….” 

You aren’t dressed sexy at all, you remember, a sweatshirt and sweatpants. If you had thought this through a little more, you might’ve tried to make it nicer for him. “....Okay.”

“Start with your shirt,” he says, and you grab at the hem, but he snaps at you. “Ah-ah….slower.”

You swallow, nod, and carefully lift the fabric, dragging it up over your stomach, over the swell of your breasts, revealing your tight, thin white tank top. 

“That’s it, nice and slow.” 

Joel’s voice is soft but stern, a low rasp that makes your cunt clench around nothing, and he’s not even touching you. The sweatshirt is pulled over your head, falling somewhere on the crumpled bedspread. 

Languidly, you lean back, shifting your weight to get off the mattress, and Joel palms himself through his jeans. You can see where he’s straining against the denim, and you find it hard to tear your gaze away as you go to pull off your sweatpants. Joel stops you again. 

“Turn around.”

You do, and you’re sure he has a nice view of your ass as you slide them over your hips, bending over to let the fleece pool around your ankles. Slowly, you rise back up, looking at him over your shoulder for approval. 

“Good girl,” he murmurs. Your stomach flips. A month ago, you would’ve done anything to get him to stay away from you, and now, you’re terrified to disappoint him. 

That’s the problem. You’d spent most of the day fighting for your life — literally. But even after standing behind a barricade of heavily-armed FEDRA soldiers outside the hospital, you didn’t feel as safe as you did when you saw Joel at your door. You need him. For now, at least.

“Now the shirt,” he tilts his head towards the mattress, nodding encouragingly.

You get back on the bed, sitting back on your heels, and begin to pull the tank top up. It’s your last layer up top, you’re not wearing a bra, and you’re feeling a little vulnerable with him just watching you, fully clothed and composed, your gaze falling down to look at the threadbare linens. 

“Eyes up,” he instructs. “Look at me.”

Taking in a shaky inhale, you do. It’s not easy. Everything about him looks dark, animalistic. A coiled ball of energy, waiting to pounce.

But, even when you’re bare before him, he doesn’t. 

“Lie back, close your eyes.”

Of course, you don’t refuse, settling your head against the pillows. 

There’s a sound of a belt – his belt, unbuckling, the snap of a button, the dip of the bed where he kneels when he comes to hover over you. Two hands land on top of your thighs, pressing the backs against his denim-clad knees, thumbs pushing your legs further apart. 

And then…nothing. He’s still. He’s still for so long, that you actually think that something’s wrong. When you open your eyes, you’re met with a view of the underside of his jaw. You can just make out the pinched expression he’s wearing as he looks down upon you. Disdain, maybe…but it’s not meant for you, it’s for someone else….him.

“Joel,” you murmur. Instinctually, you reach for his hand.

The second it makes contact, he smacks your hand away so hard your whole body jolts. “I told you to close your eyes.”

“Sorry,” you mumble quickly, closing them again. 

You are well aware that he’s actively working through shit, probably doing some kind of mental gymnastics to rationalize why it’s okay to fuck you again, which, when you really think about it is kind of….pathetic. It’s the only thing that makes you feel any sort of power in a situation where you’ll surrender everything else. It’s a fair exchange. 

Maybe, on a different day, you would want it softer. You’d like to think he’s capable of that, even though he seems determined he isn’t. Luckily, you don’t want it softer. After today, you want to be so far gone you can’t think. 

Joel answers by leaning down and catching you in a bruising kiss. Finally. You press yourself against him cause you’re freezing and he’s so warm, and you frantically begin to unbutton the flannel he’s wearing, making it about halfway down before he pins your hands above you again.

“Slow down.”

You whine, a little frustrated because all you want to do is touch him. The fingers on his free hand hook around the elastic of your underwear, and he starts to drag them over the curve of your ass. 

He’s got to be joking with how deliberately he’s moving, anticipation only building underneath his featherlight touches.

When he’s got your panties around your ankles, you slide your legs together so he can pull them off entirely, keeping them closed as his weight shifts, and your thighs are pulled back apart.

“You’re already so wet for me,” he doesn’t need to feel you to see it clear as day, with you spread open in front of him. “So fucking desperate.”

He’s all-but glaring at you, like you’ve done something wrong, and for a minute, your eyes flick away, just for a second of relief from the tension.

“What, are you embarrassed?” he asks. 

“N-no,” you stammer, though it was supposed to sound confident. 

Thankfully, he doesn’t press you, his head dipping down to press his lips to your knee, then an inch higher, then an inch higher, then higher – keeping his eyes locked on yours the whole time, an arm winding around your thigh.

“I wanted to do this last time.” A confession. 

“Yeah?” you sigh, trembling. It’s maybe the nicest thing he’s said to you, but you can’t even acknowledge it, because you’re buzzing.

He turns his face, his beard scraping along sensitive skin. “Mhm,” his deep rasp vibrates directly to your cunt, and when his head dips down, you close your eyes – it might just be better to focus on only one sensation at a time, you’re not sure you can handle seeing what he’s about to do.

Joel’s mouth is on you the second you do, and you gasp. He licks up the seam of your lips, mouth latching around your clit, swirling with his tongue, and back down – firm, determined, practiced. You try to buck up, but he has an arm locked around your hips. 

He removes himself from you just enough to utter two words. “Stay still.”

You want to protest, but you realize that he’s let go of your hands, and it gives you the opportunity to thread your fingers into his hair, while you dig your heels into the broad expanse of his back, and he groans, tongue curling into you. 

“I’ve thought about this,” you gasp, answering his earlier admission.

“When?”

“At night. More than once.”

“Fuck,” Joel growls, and you wheeze when he works one finger into you, forcing you to take it along with his next words. “You know how fuckin’ bad that is? Dreamin’ about a man nearly twice your age?”

“I d-don’t care, I want you anyway. Y-you can do whatever you want to me,” It’s too early to be past the point of speaking coherently, it really is, but you’re already there. 

“F-fuck,” Joel repeats himself, and pushes another finger inside you next to the first, the stretch almost uncomfortable, but quickly fading to pleasure. “I’m going to.”

You’re not the going to tell him, though, that he’s the first man whose ever gone down on you, because you’re a little fucking scared for some reason. It’s intimate, very intimate, more than you expected. 

The truth is, you weren’t actually very experienced at all. You could count on one hand the number of partners you’d had, and still not use all of your fingers. While some of them were good enough, they all paled in comparison to Joel. There had never been anyone like Joel. 

His fingers curl as his tongue swirls around your clit and you cry out, inhale sharply. Minute by minute, you’re getting wetter and wetter – can hear yourself with each twist of his fingers inside you, bearing down on him. 

“You taste so fuckin’ good,” he grunts, and your eyes flutter open just for a second, just to see his forehead, dark eyes staring back at you, and his hips dipping, rutting against the mattress. God he’s getting himself off to this. As hot as it is, the thought of not getting to feel him inside you causes a rush of anger. 

“F-feels so good,” you’re right there, already, and it’s pitiful.

“I know, baby, I know,” he says. “You’re already so close, aren’t you?”

Instead of answering, you just nod, gasping. Joel works you right up to the precipice, hands tightening in his hair, hips lifting off the bed – and then he slows a little –  just enough – to pull you back off the edge, and you let out a humiliating sob.

“Shhh!” he hisses with his mouth still on you, resuming the steady pace he had going. A little sigh of relief when you feel your release approaching again. He just lost his rhythm for a moment, it was nothing.

Again, he’s got you right there, you’re so close, hips jerking, breathing in short, sharp pants, something molten working its way up your spine. “Joel, that’s it, please I-”

He falters again – just enough. And it’s gone again.

You realize, with dismay, that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He hadn’t lost his rhythm. He’s doing this on purpose. 

If someone asked – not that anyone would – you wouldn’t be able to recall how long he keeps you in that state, being dragged and dangled, but denied the privilege of falling. It’s torture. 

And at first, you try to be patient. You figure he’ll grow tired, desperate, and eventually want to move on. But apparently, he doesn’t want to move on. He’s content to keep you this way for as long as he sees fit, and you can’t handle it any longer. It’s starting to hurt.

“Please, Joel, let me-” you gasp.

“Let you what?” he pulls back from you, frustratingly too soon, once again.

“Let me come, please, I’ll do anything, I’ll be good, please, please-”

“Just a little longer,” he dismisses you.

All you can do is pant and writhe, completely at his mercy. He keeps going like that, and you’ve stopped trying to filter yourself, the sounds he makes as he laves at you are obscene, you can see yourself glistening on his chin, and can feel the sheets damp beneath you. At this point, he’s enjoying this more than you are.

“Joel,” you plead with him again. “It’s too much, I c-can’t. Just, please I really need-”

“You wanna come for me, baby?” he asks. You nod ferociously. 

“Yes, please, please,” 

“You’re so fucking sweet when you beg, you know that? ” he murmurs. “Wish you were like this all the time.”

“Fuck off,” you manage, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. You should do this to me more often. 

Joel chuckles, and it vibrates just right, his fingers curling again and you moan, hands tightening in his hair. He’s focused now, you can tell because the constant stream of filth he’s been whispering has finally stopped. He’s persistent.

You’re unable to stay quiet, continuing to whimper just like that and please don’t stop over and over. And then all at once, every muscle in your body grows tense and you cry out, cunt pulsing around him so tightly that his fingers slow. “There you go, pretty girl, that’s it.” 

You whisper his name as he continues to fuck his fingers into you, riding you through your orgasm and licking up the mess you’ve made. 

At some point in the aftermath, Joel withdraws from you, and you hear the sting of his zipper. It takes a moment, but you’re able to see him through heavily lidded eyes, kneeling in front of you with his shirt unbuttoned all the way, pants around his ankles, jerking himself slowly in his hand. God he’s fucking huge, how had you forgotten about that? He’s a vision, beard still wet with you, looking down, watching your chest rise and fall. In that moment you realize two things. One, even though you’ve already come, you somehow want him even more than you had before, and two, you’ve never wanted to suck a dick so bad in your life. 

So you sit up, crawl towards him, and reach out with one hand to take him in your palm. He lets you, sighing, closing down his eyes. First, you have to kiss him, so you rise to your knees, and he pulls you into his arms, one of them winding around your waist, the other coming to rest at the small of your back. “You take such good care of me,” you whisper. 

He grimaces at the words like they’re an insult. You expect him to retaliate, to tell you that you shouldn’t say that sort of thing, but he never does. So you kiss him, gently, bringing your free hand to the side of his face. Once again, he lets you, and you taste yourself when his tongue presses into you mouth. You run your thumb over the head of his cock, and he hums against your touch, almost contentedly.

You’re doing whatever you want to him, and you’re shocked he hasn’t put a stop to it. It could be satisfying enough, you think, just to keep kissing him like this. Still, you sink back towards the bed to test things further. You’re about to wrap your mouth around him, but he pulls you off by your hair, so quickly, so hard that you yelp.

“No.” he says firmly. “Lie back.”

“But I just wanted to-”  

“No.” 

You consider trying to reason with him, but decide it won’t be worth whatever he’d do if you continue to argue.

Joel braces himself with one hand above your shoulder, the other wrapped around his cock, slowly teasing you by rubbing himself up and down a few times, before he gives in, finally pushing into you.

“Oh, fuck,” you gasp at the stretch, reaching out grasp at his bicep, arching your back. He’d prepped you, and it was still too much. 

“You can take it,” he says, pressing deeper into you. His hips are all the way flush with yours, he’s to the hilt, and he still snaps them even further, once, holding you there, so deep, you feel like you’re choking on him. “See? There you go.”

It seems like you can’t quite catch your breath, and you squirm underneath him for some kind of friction, some kind of relief from how intense it all is. You can feel him throbbing inside you, feel how badly his own body is begging him to move, but he doesn’t. 

“Joel,” you cradle the back of his head, look him in the eyes. “Move, please.”

He doesn’t answer, he just brings his hand to grip your jaw, his thumb and forefinger pressing into the soft flesh of your cheeks. 

“Please?” you murmur again, and his thumb slips into your mouth, silencing you. You suck on it obediently, and after you do, he finally gives you what you want.

──────

Joel told you he wouldn’t be gentle, and he isn’t. 

He hadn’t been able to do this last time. Taste you, spread you open, fuck you properly. His hips snap against yours – ferociously, unrelenting, over and over. You’ve been going at it for awhile now, and he actually wants you to break. He wants you to tell him to slow down, to be a little more tender, not press into you so deep, so hard, so that if he listens, it wouldn’t mean he’s breaking his own promise. He’s got to be rough with you, because he’s afraid of what could happen if he’s not.

But you don’t break. You fucking take it, take him, each time, again and again, your nails digging into arms, your legs locked around his hips. Each time he delves into you, you’re getting wetter and wetter, and yet, you’re still so fucking tight. He doesn’t understand it. It’s been a long fucking time since he’s been with a woman like you – and you might be the best he’s ever had. 

You’re not even making any noise – you’re just panting, gasping in Joel’s ear as you cling to him, and that’s all. He can’t even look you in the eyes. If he does, he knows you’ll see everything that’s wrong with him, and still beg for him to give you more. 

Two hands land on either side of his face, turning his head so you can kiss him. Despite how he’s treating you, you keep trying to connect, to ground yourself. For as much as he wants to refuse, it feels too cruel to deny you. He lets you lock your lips with his own, feels your cunt clutch him even tighter. It’s impossible for you to kiss for more than a few seconds at a time without it getting broken up by a whimper here and there. You’re getting close again, he’s started to get better at recognizing it.

“You’re fucking so perfect on me, baby, you feel that?” he asks, and you nod, breathless. “Taking me so well, such a good fucking girl-”

A gasp from you cuts him off, your eyes squeezing shut as you are taken over by your climax. Joel groans and does everything he can not to come when you start pulsing around him, holding him closer, since there’s nothing else to do. It’s way too intimate…because it’s missionary, and he should’ve known better than to start off like this. 

Pulling out of you is the hardest thing he’s had to do in a while, and he ignores your noises of protest now that he’s left you empty. Then, he flips you onto your stomach. He takes a moment to admire the curve of your ass, how it dips into your waist….to him, your body is perfect, and you’re young, your skin still supple and smooth. There are still places he hasn’t gotten his mouth on, and it’s a shame, he thinks, but tonight his patience is wearing thin. Joel pulls you back until you’re on your knees, and slides back inside. There’s a little resistance, you whimper, but it’s easier than the first time. He wraps an arm around your waist, the other across your chest, and starts to jerk his hips upwards, into you. 

“Oh fuck, Joel,” you sigh in relief.

“I know, I know.”

You drop your head back until it falls against his shoulder, winding your arm back so you can pull at his hair, which kind of fucking hurts, but he likes it. 

Ultimately, you’re pretty easy to please, and it’s not long before he feels the telltale flutter of your walls as you drip down over him, soaking his lap. 

“You’re making a fucking mess, baby. You gonna come for me again?”

All you can do is plead with him. “I can’t, Joel. I can’t do it again, please just-”

“Yes, you can,” he interjects. “I know you can, baby, don’t worry…I’ll help you.”

“O-okay.’ 

He slows the roll of his hips just a little, focuses on deeper, longer strokes, and lets the hand that’s currently squeezing one of your tits fall to where your bodies are joined, finding your clit immediately.

You whine, arching back against him, the swell of your ass packed against his lower stomach. He sees a single tear leaking from the corner of your eye and feels a little guilty for what he’s doing to you. Only a little, though. 

Without any warning, for the third time, you’re coming around him – easier than the last time, like always – and he uses the feeling of you throbbing around him to chase his own release, his hand clapping over your mouth to muffle your moans as he becomes increasingly frantic. 

He turns his head, rakes his teeth along your exposed neck, and sinks them into your pulse point with a groan. Your breath is hot against him when you whimper in response. 

“Just a little more, honey.” He’s so close. You bob your head, though you’ve nearly gone limp in his arms.

Like last time, Joel knows it’s a bad idea, but he’s not going to pull out. The thought of deliberately coming inside you is actually what sends him over the edge, and he’s cursing and moaning your name. You whine at the feeling of him pulsing inside of you, arching back for more, even though he can tell you’re exhausted. 

It’s fucking freezing in your apartment, and yet, his skin is damp with sweat when he finally regains some awareness of his surroundings. He’s panting, you’re sniffling, a weak smile on your face as you catch your breath. Before he can stop himself, he presses his lips to your cheek. 

Joel tilts you both forward – very tentatively, keeping an arm wrapped around your waist. At some point, your hand settled over top of his, and you threaded your fingers between his own, holding his hand across your stomach. You keep it there, even after you’ve settled onto the bed.  

It takes a few minutes before either of you move, but it’s you who gives in first, wriggling out from where he’s got you trapped partially underneath him. 

You retreat to the bathroom, like you did last time. Somewhere during your coupling the linens have slid down the bed, and Joel settles back against the pillows, throwing an arm behind his head.  Now that he’s stopped sweating, he’s just cold, and he reaches to pull the bedspread over him. He should leave, he thinks, before you come out and ask him to. Beat you to the punch. Maybe while you’re still in the bathroom. 

A few minutes later, and you return from the bathroom, dressed again in sweats. He hears you pour yourself a glass of water, gulping it down. You flick off the lamp on your bedside table, and fall into bed next to him, lying rigidly on your back. He should reach out, pull you against him, let you settle in his arms. Instead, Joel rolls over on his side. 

It’s terrible how beautiful you are, he thinks, watching you stare up at the ceiling, hugging yourself. So beautiful, and fucking smart. You’re strong, too, but not as strong as he wishes you were. Of course, no one could ever be that strong.

He whispers your name. You turn your head, pupils still blown wide with lingering lust.

“You need to learn to defend yourself, to shoot a gun, to fight,” he says. “After today.”

“What?” you roll to face him. 

“You said you didn’t want to die,” Joel continues. “So you need to learn. ‘Case something like that happens again.”

“Oh yeah? Lemme guess, you’re gonna teach me?” your voice is a little hoarse after what he’d done to you, and you smirk at him.

“Yes.” It sobers you up, that he’s not fucking with you, or giving you a hard time. “I owe you, remember?” 

“You do.” 

“So…. I’ll teach you.” 

“....Okay.” 

“Alright.”

Joel rolls over to his opposite side, and you’re left staring at his back. Arms wrapped around 

himself in a tight hug, he waits for you to tell him to go.

You never do. 

Instead, he feels the heat of your body as you curl up against him, slotting one of your legs between his own. Your hand grazes up his ribs, over his bicep – a gentle, quick massage – before you tuck your arm underneath his own, your palm flat against his heart. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, frozen at how tender the embrace is. It’s a foreign feeling, he can’t remember the last time someone touched him like this. 

The tip of your nose hits the nape of his neck, and he can feel your shuddery exhale.

“I’m cold,” you say, like it’s obvious, lips brushing featherlight against his skin. “And if you’re staying, you might as well make yourself useful.”

He can’t roll over and wrap his arms around you. He can’t kiss your forehead or play with your hair or murmur into your ear. He can’t offer you anything in return. Joel decides, though, if he’s going to accept comfort from anyone, it’s going to be from you.

──────

taglist (basically if you asked for a pt 2 on the last part i tagged you): @bbyanarchist @dlwrish @imaginewrites24 @captain-yellow-96 @daisyintheskyewithdiamonds @sludgec0r33 @c0wb0ym3nace

[raining-dreams]

Best Underrated Shows

Saving Me 

Saving Me is about a lonely old guy who invents a time machine so he can go back to his child self and fix all his past mistakes. I learned about this show from this video titled Watch THIS instead of Hailey's On It by M!n!mal M!ss Art. Despite this video, I was still very excited to watch Hailey's On It. It seemed like a story with a cool premise and cute art style (and ultimately I do really like the show) But Hailey's On It wasn't gonna be out for weeks when I came across this video and this video really sold me on giving Saving Me a try. I never would have even heard of this show without that youtube video which would have been a real shame because Saving Me is fantastic! I hope this show reaches more people and I'm dying for a season 3!!!!!

House of Anubis

Mystery is my favorite genre and House of Anubis is chuck full of it. I used to be obsessed with this show back in high school. I had so much fun coming up with theories and live-blogging my thoughts and opinions about each new episode. Some of the acting & dialogue could be a little cringe sometimes but the story is just so good that it doesn't matter. I've heard that Het Huis Anubis (the Dutch version of the show that House of Anubis is based on) is even better, though I haven't gotten around to watching it yet.

Over the Garden Wall

Those of us who have seen Over the Garden Wall seem to agree that this show is amazing! Which makes it feel a little weird to call it underrated. But it seems like so few people have actually seen it. Maybe because it was a mini series, it couldn't reach the same level of popularity as other shows of similar quality. If you like Gravity Falls, you'll likely enjoy Over the Garden Wall as well. (Wirt is even voiced by the same guy who voiced Dipper!) I would highly recommend anyone that hasn't seen it already.

Dead End: Paranormal Park

I feel like it's pretty rare for animated series to exist in the horror genre for some reason. It truly is an untapped market. But if you love horror and animation, Dead End is the show for you! (Of course it's kid friendly horror since the target audience is children) The two main characters, Barney and Norma get jobs at a haunted park and work together to fight ghosts and demons. Dead End has a super cute animation style, in my opinion, and a very diverse set of characters. I encourage everyone to watch it!

Just Add Magic

Just Add Magic is based on a children's book by the same name. It's a show about three girls who love to cook and basically discover that they can use cooking to do magic. It's a pretty interesting take on how magic works in their universe. It's very fun to watch. All of the actors are also so talented! And one of those actors is Zach Callison (the voice of Steven Universe)!

The friendship between the trio is awe-inspiring! They have so much chemistry. It's a pretty fun watch.

The Last Kids On Earth

Based on a comic of the same name, this show is about a group of kids who have to survive on their own when a zombie apocalypse breaks out. And other various creatures start to threaten them (or even become their allies) It's basically a cute found family story. The premise is pretty simplistic but that's what I love about it. The animation style of The Last Kids On Earth is so beautiful as well!

I'm still waiting for a season 3!!!!!

Code Lyoko

I remember as a kid being aware of this show and thinking it looked kind of interesting (and I always loved the theme song!!) but I never ended up watching it back then because I let peer pressure get the better of me. I remember I met someone who brought up how much they loved the show. When I heard them express that interest, I was at first excited to ask them more but before I had the chance, everyone else started making fun of him for liking Code Lyoko.

I guess it was like the nerd show or something? I don't really know why it was considered cringe to like Code Lyoko but upon seeing my peers act this way, I decided I can't like Code Lyoko if I want to fit in. So, I avoided watching it. But earlier this year, when I was flipping through channels, they were showing old episodes of Code Lyoko! I was intrigued since I remembered it from childhood and thought I'd actually give it a chance this time. And it's actually a pretty good show! It can be slow at times but overall I enjoy it.

If you're like me and avoided watching this back then due to peer pressure, I highly recommend leaving that in the past and just letting yourself enjoy this show!!

Slugterra

Slugterra is honestly pretty similar to Pokemon, except it's slugs! And the entire series takes place underground. Basically, there's a whole underground world called Slugterra, home to slugs, trolls, moles, etc. And all the slugs have cool powers so the people collect & befriend slugs so they can use them as weapons ("slugslinging"). If you like Pokemon, you're sure to like Slugterra!

Detentionaire

I discovered Detentionaire randomly while I was searching through Amazon's library of cartoons. I was looking for a new show to watch and just stumbled upon this one. It looked pretty interesting and I was surprised to see it was a show from 2011. I don't know how I missed this show back then. Idk if maybe it only aired in Canada or something? (cuz it's a Canadian show) But anyways, Detentionaire is such an intriguing show where the main character, Lee, discovers some grand conspiracy and has to try to expose it to prove his innocence so he can get out of detention. It's such an interesting concept. And, as I mentioned earlier, mystery is my favor genre, so I had a lot of fun with this one.

The only problem though is, of course, it ends on a cliffhanger. The show got canceled before they had the chance to conclude the story in a satisfying way (or any type of way) so watch at your own risk.

Catscratch

I honestly don't even remember what this show was about but I do remember enjoying this show and being excited when I saw a new episode was out. I remember thinking it was so funny. I just don't think enough people know about this show.

[fallen-child-escapism]

RALSEI DOES N O T LOOK LIKE THAT

(Deltarune theory)

Tldr: Ralseis "unmasked" self is indeed a costume. He does NOT look like that. It is a costume to better suit his "role" and distract or earn the affection of the player.

One of the most jarring things about ralsei to me is his appearance. No, I don't think ralsei is asriel, yes I know they're anagrams. Ralsei is special. He's THE prince of the dark. So tell me please, why the hell does he look like your average boss monster from the light world. You'd think the "prince of the dark" would look kinda...dark? Nah he's white and pink with bashful eyelashes. I call bullshit on that. Look at this guy

I just can't bring myself to believe this is what he looks like. But, I think we do know what he does look like.

Behold our prince of the dark. "No no he took off his hat at the end of chapter 1! He's casted in shadow that's why he looks like that!" I hear you. But we've seen THIS version of ralsei without his hat already

No hat, still a black, less "boss monster " looking creature. We've also seen his "unmasked" self in multiple outfits, including hats. None of which shade his entire body to make his fur appear black.

Now, I understand maybe this was all to not allude to his "true" white fluffy appearance until it is revealed at the end of chapter 1. But I can't accept that. His silhouettes are completely different in each design.

Things like his horns, his height, the shape of his legs and feet and the fur on his face. That stuff shouldn't change if its just being taken out of the shadows.

I propose this. Ralsei has changed form to appease us(the player). It goes without saying that ralsei knows more than the other characters in the game. Infact, many would go as far to say as he knows he's IN a game.

Here comes the theory crafting. I believe ralsei has been told to take this shape. We can infer that ralsei has not been around long. Even if he has, he's been EXTREMELY secluded. His whole life has led up to meeting kris and Susie and carrying out his role in this story. I do not by any means think ralsei is evil. I do believe he is slightly mislead. He has likely chosen to or been told to shift his appearance to be cuter, fluffier, more approachable. He's the cute one after all.

If difficult for me to word this. I have such a specific view of deltarune and how meta I view it to be. I can however offer up an amazing video essay that helped me form my opinions and ideas for ralsei. I highly recommend it, and if you've read this much, you might as well watch it.

It has really interesting insight on ralseis character and has takes on him I haven't seen any body else have.

Conclusion

While I think it would be an amazing reveal, we won't know more about ralsei until the full game is released. If my theory is wrong, that's alright. Because I have fun imagining ralsei as a slightly skrunklier eldritch creature than an asriel look alike. And maybe some of you will adopt my "theory" or headcannon. Either way, I do think ralseis appearance will be addressed in the future. So until then, we'll see.

Also ralsei will definitely be one of the final bosses

[pjowasmy1stfandom]

This is something I should probably save for when I'm not supposed to be asleep. Ce' la vie or whatever

I've been wondering about what exactly Morro did to deserve getting banished to the Cursed Realm bc why not. Anyway, I have a headcanon as to how he got there exactly (taken from an amazing fic I'll probably talk about later) but I wanted to know if there was a canon reason so I went to the wiki

I guess this turned into an essay of sorts so I added a cut bc it got long what the heck

Summary isn't proving helpful. What 'previous actions'? Cause if you're talking about his being willing to defy fate, I think that could honestly be taken as either arrogance or desperation

Again with the arrogance vs desperation. He's been told by Wu for years or however long he's trained that he's the Green Ninja. He essentially was taught to associate his self-worth and competency with being the Green Ninja. And then that got taken away from him

Audacity??? Really?? Did the person who wrote the wiki watch the same episode as me?? He hadn't even hit his growth spurt yet, he still had the tiny legs! Okay, yes, waking a Grundle. Not smart. He's what, a preteen/teenager? That's kinda what they're known for

Okay, now we're getting somewhere! Aaaand nevermind. The link just took me to the summary of the episode where they do the whole entire exposition dump. From Wu's perspective. Hmmm. I wonder how the way the story was written would change if we heard it from Morro instead?? Anyway, they say he's committed atrocities, but the only atrocities I've actually seen any real proof for are the things he did during Possession, not before he ended up in the Cursed Realm. I'm not saying he didn't commit them, I'm just saying if they want me to believe he actually deserved to get cursed, they needed to give me a better idea of what he did wrong. So far, I'm just seeing a kid with an identity crisis

Oof. Awful way to go out. I mean, it could have been worse, but still. The fact that the Master of Wind died underground... Yeah, that's all sorts of levels of irony this post isn't about. Anyway, still haven't gotten any clear idea of what his 'actions' were and why they were so horrible

And honestly, I'm not even gonna touch what the wiki's saying about his personality rn. Let me just summarize it as 'literally everything is negatively spun, even the good things'. Which, yes, I get bc he is a literal antagonist, but at the same time...

Okay, moving on! Trivia!

I mostly knew this already but. Wow. That's a teenager. I'm somewhere around that age and yeah, being that age is hard. Having an extra identity/existential crisis on top of all that and having no way to actually healthily deal with that... Yep, I can see why he went evil

Okay, that's it? Just 'some bad act'??? Wait, as he perished?!? But he was in an explosion... We don't see any other skeletons around him, right? I think that'd be mentioned/shown at least ONCE. So I don't think he killed anyone...

Anyway, cool cool cool. I learned... Pretty much nothing I didn't already know. Nice. I wanna fist fight the wiki now

If anyone's curious, my headcanon is based off Land of the Living on Ao3 by CaptainBrookeworm. Basically, Morro accidentally managed to curse himself just by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time (and I highly recommend reading the fic if you haven't already, it's one of my absolute favorites)

[biggie-chcese]

ranking rain code lets plays on how much i enjoy/would recommend them

hi did you know i am incredibly autistic about this game and have watched, in full, several lets plays of it? and im still going? haha yeah im normal. anyway here goes... all lets plays ive watched from best to worst:

#1 Highest recommendation: JustOneGamr. ESPECIALLY for people who are going in blind. im so serious. it's the best way to experience as much of the game as possible without playing it yourself. They go through all of the content, side quests, gumshoe gabs, profiles, DLC, and even most of the flavor text. it's also a no commentary run, which i personally see as a massive boon because they aren't influencing your opinions of the game

#2: Pixel Partners. they've got real good vibes and they actually do the side quests. it's also fun to listen to their theories and see their reactions. they're one of the few who dont spend their time complaining and give more valid constructive criticisms than others. they also have the funniest reaction to the chapter 5 reveal

#3: JohnAwesome. his humor sometimes isn't particularly for me but boy is his lets play enjoyable. also has lots of positive vibes and is generally pretty entertaining. i dont remember if he does side quests but im pretty sure he does. he will easily make chapter 4 even more gut wrenching thanks to a very specific kind of incompetence on his part, which in hindsight is really funny

#4: NyanCave. they're pretty fun and also have great vibes! i like their chemistry a lot. they have some pretty good theories and good jokes, but they will spend a lot of time on responding to chat donations. this is fine like get that bag kings but if you're impatient like me it might get annoying after a while lol. it's especially bad in chapter 5, where the tension dies because of their waifu fight donations

#5: NicoB. I was never really a NicoB fan because he's a bit too loud and high energy for me, but his rain code lets play is still pretty good! he seems to have fun playing the game and even has a few good jokes. i think he does the side quests which is a plus but i could be misremembering. i still quote "and now back to yuma crackhead" to this day so there's that

#6: Faz Faz. This another no commentary run but for people who are in a rush. they go through the game as quickly as possible. frankly, i think these kinds of lets plays are not as good as the ones that go through the sidequests, but hey, it's there if you just want the main plot and gumshoe gabs

#7: Save Data. I don't recommend this one to people experiencing rain code for the first time because they will talk over the cutscenes and dialogue and that will get annoying. they also complain quite a bit about the same things over and over which can also get tiresome (im sorry guys i do Not care about graphics as much as you do). however, they're really funny and it's good for a second or third experience of the game. "this city..." is a highly prevalent vocal stim for me thanks to them. they will shit on on the game often though, so if you really love rain code and dont want to hear that, then avoid this one lol. but you do get to see my art at the end of their vids! that's pretty cool!

#8: Rat Attack. i straight up don't recommend this one. it's easily the worst one i've seen and that's sad because i really love their pngtuber avatars. they're not finished with the game yet and that's probably because they spend so much time ranting and yapping about everything else, or just concocting the most baffling theories known to man and spending wayyy too much time on them. you will also hear a lot of unfunny halara gender jokes sorry. sometimes they are funny in other ways but it's honestly not worth it unless you're like me and keep watching out of obsession for the game.

that's all the ones ive watched in full (so far)! here's a couple others i haven't seen in full but have seen small parts of:

Weeby Newz - she's got some fun reactions from what ive seen and is pretty funny too. i have only really watched her play chapters 4 and 5 though, so i cant give a full opinion. i dont care for yakou fathero as a concept though and she seems pretty heavy on that, but if you like that you may enjoy her let's play. i may go back and finish it soon!

CurtStreamy - genuinely very funny from what ive seen though in chapter 5 his whole crew has a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of makoto's character, which can be a little irritating. either way, most of it is great but his live chat sucks. i still need to watch the rest in full to form a full opinion

CrystAAHHL - ohhh she did Not like this game lmao. she is a based makoto enjoyer though. i only watched the highlight reel though i think watching her full streams would just make me tired. i personally dont like watching lets plays if the person playing isnt having any fun

JazzyGuns - unfinished but she is really funny and has good vibes. if you can cope with her probably never finishing the game then go for it

khee chu - im still in the process of watching this one in full but it's fun so far. i will say CHECK OUT KHEE'S MERCH AND SHINIGAMI X JUNKO ART!!! THE ART IS RLY CUTE!!!!

and that's everything! there's other lesser known ones out there but im just one guy i cant watch em all despite how determined i am to do so </3 above all else i want people to get the game but like, yknow, some folks dont got $60 to spend on a game lol. anyway have fun and happy watching!

[negrowhat]

15 Day BL Challenge - The Sequel

Day 19: If you could turn any Non-BL show into a BL, which would you choose?

The Devil Judge. Because why wasn't that series explicitly queer?? Someone explain. None of those main characters were straight. None of them. And the sexual chemistry between Yohan and Gaon was undeniable. Every interaction between them so charged and so were the interactions between Yohan and Sunah, tbh. The way Gaon fit perfectly into the Kang household, he was the 2nd master at the Kang Manor...the digital butler said so! He was Elijah's second uncle and the only person who adored Gaon more than her was Kang Yohan. They were in love and had an incredibly deep connection.

Was there source material for that series?? Is there a novel out there somewhere? Anyways the showrunners knew what they were doing. IDK how that series didn't end with Yohan and Gaon getting married, Lawful Husbands could've been canon. It should've been canon.

Kei x Yaku: Abunai Aibou. I think the actual source material for Kei x Yaku was bromance too so I'm fairly certain the series stuck true to form but wtf was it bromance for to begin with? Because Shiro and Ichiro were not only professional partners but domestic partners. They lived together, ate together, and then went to work together. They were inseparable. Like we watched a whole love story unfold but it was supposed to be platonic????? Brotherly??? The way they were crazy protective of each other??? They way they went absolutely batshit when the other turned up missing?? The way they confided in one another?? Related to each other?? Took care of each other?? Understood each other?? This series could've slid in a kiss in the final ep and changed nothing else about the series and we all would've been satisfied, it could've been seamless.

Never have I ever felt so edged on than with these two series. The feelings and the vibes were there and normally I don't care much about slapping labels on things except when a label should be slapped on them...I know most people have seen The Devil Judge but go watch Kei x Yaku if you haven't! I highly recommend both series!

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 9 / ADULT & FAMILY ANIMATION)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

Common Themes/Tropes:

-Woman/girl is OP and gets bullshit from other people for it

-Heroine tries desperately to fix the world

-Leaving home to go on adventures for the sake of a dream or doing the right thing

-Sisters are a lifeline

-Women/girls can literally do or be anything

-Violence is the only answer men will understand

-The world is so big, grand and beautiful and she wants to see more of it

-Girls being the conscience of an entire society

-Things going ham when she reaches Boss Level

-Magic (and violence) are good things, especially paired together

-A man (usually a father or guy friend) is the only conscience she has left

-F*ck marriage there's bigger problems TM

-I must save my father/sister

-Serious mommy issues

-Has an animal companion or IS the animal companion (robots also count as animal companions in terms of function imo)

-Making friends with the monster

OF WHICH ARE FOR ADULT AUDIENCES:

Pantheon

Scavenger's Reign

Blue Eye Samurai

Arcane: League of Legends

Trese

HAVEN'T WATCHED:

Pantheon

Lilo & Stitch

Fiona & Cake

Star Vs. The Forces of Evil

Trese

Princess Mononoke

Green Snake

The Breadwinner

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Violet Evergarden

Barbie in The Diamond Castle

Monsters Vs Aliens

Epic

Finding Dory

Encanto

The Incredibles II

Tinkerbell: Legend of The Neverbeast

Brave

WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND:

Blue Eye Samurai (10/10) (super gritty, but the perfect revenge story, puts John Wick to shame)

Scavenger's Reign (8/10) (split story, but two of the main characters are women, and one is a black lesbian! fantastic animation, though don't watch if you're intensely trypophobic, it can be sci-fi horror)

Mulan (9/10) (one of the most perfect animated Disney classics)

Turning Red (8/10) (this movie remembered the tween era)

Tinkerbell (if you crave matriarchy, sisterhood, magic and female centric society and story, then you need to watch the Tinkerbell movies)

Wolfwalkers (7.5/10) (an anti-colonial, anti patriarchal, pro-pagan fantasy movie with beautiful animation and a very touching, female-centric story)

Arcane: League of Legends (10/10) (gorgeous animation, amazing writing, incredible performances, and don't get me started on the sisters that take centre stage--also, lesbianism and gender nonconformity!)

The Legend of Korra (8/10) (good writing, a badass protagonist, a fantastic cast of characters, beautiful scoring, beautiful animation, amazing action sequences)

PERSONAL NOTES

The Mitchells Vs The Machines is basically a drama between a lesbian girl and her dad who have to figure their relationship out while they're running from robots. It was full of heart and fun and had some good jokes in there. I'd definitely recommend it.

Raya & The Last Dragon is the first Disney movie with a gender non-conforming princess! It also has some of the best action sequences in any Disney animated movie, however it doesn't hold a candle to The Incredibles II, which stars Helen Parr as the main character of the film. It's one of my favourite films of all time because of how they depict Helen and the main villain of the story (a badass genius of a woman). Really pro-female films, even for all their flaws.

Abominable has some of the most gorgeous visuals I've seen outside of a Disney animation. The texturing and coloring is so vivid it makes my mouth water. It's far better than Over The Moon, but both have their own charm. Abominable and Home have very similar plots. Also, the girl in Home is voiced by Rihanna while Beyonce voices the queen of the faeries in Epic.

One movie that shares a similar theme (kindness to animals even if we don't understand them or they scare us) with Abominable is The Sea Beast. The Sea Beast is one of the best animations with a black female girl as a lead I've ever seen. There's also a badass black woman pirate. There are some scenes that could have been written (or colored) better, but I loved it either way. I think it was the first animated film to depict shrinkage for black hair! And it didn't lighten the skin or whiten the features of the black characters!

Many people view Frozen II and Brave as "almost" masterpieces whose writers ultimately failed them, and I can say that I agree to some extent. There are many things technically wrong with the movies. Minor details that set the pacing off or take away from the immersion. However, I still love both of them. I really love daughter vs mother and sister vs sister stories (that includes Tinkerbell: The Secret of The Wings) because there's so much to explore in such relationships. They also both have some killer soundtracks, some amazing visuals and well-executed action sequences. I've truly seen way worse than these two films, and the characters are mostly loveable.

The Breadwinner is an animated film about a girl dressing up like a boy under the rule of the Taliban so she can earn some money to help feed her family. It's scored very high by critics.

I'd also recommend The Owl House (even though there's some appeal to genderism in later seasons). It's the first time I've seen a bisexual animated character and the enemies to lovers arc with Luz and Amity is unmatched in cannon magic school stories. I also really love the depiction of The Owl Lady who is treated like a male character in that she is allowed to be non-maternal, single and old (and wrinkled), arrogant and boastful, all without the show trying to punish her for it. The Boiling Isles are also fascinating as a setting.

If you like The Owl House, there's a chance you'll love She-Ra. There were many things I found annoying about She-Ra, but my experience was mostly positive. I'm not the biggest fan of Catradora, but I do appreciate the drama. I loved the world-building and magic system mainly, so the character quirks didn't get to me as much as they have others. Also, amazing antagonists in this series. It could have been more mature, but it's still entertaining.

I also definitely recommend Home on The Range. It's a whole movie with talking animals, but there's no tomboy like the main female protagonist in a Disney movie. She is one of the most tomboy characters Disney ever made. Also, I love 2D animation and this film reminds me why. Also, the idea of a feminine, micromanaging old heifer, a bull-headed, roughhouse new girl cow, and a young airhead cow that can't sing going on an adventure across the wild west to save their human's (a sweet old lady with some bark and bite) farm? And they have to compete with a hotshot, asshole male horse who is young and fast? It's like the perfect western comedy but with cows!

Anyways, if you can't tell, I love animated stuff and a lot of these are my comfort movies.

[lurkingshan]

I don't know what unleashed this school 2013 posting but I appreciate it so much. would love to hear your thoughts on it!

Good morning, anon! I just finished a quasi-rewatch of School 2013 (quasi because I had watched most of it before but for reasons having nothing to do with the show never finished it) and my god does it hold up. What an incredible drama, and one that absolutely should not be remade by people who don't understand its themes or take it seriously. *glares at GMMTV*

I was literally just telling @neuroticbookworm and @twig-tea last night that I didn't plan to write about it because this drama is 11 years old and very dearly beloved, so it didn't need another essay from me. But since you asked, I will share a few things that make it so special:

It really understands the function a school plays in a community, how important teachers can be in a young person's life, and the often disheartening limits of what teachers can do.

It treats platonic friendship, and the pain of losing a dear friend who is your family, with the utmost seriousness. Despite what some atrociously titled remakes would have you believe, the arc between Go Nam Soon and Park Heung Soo is not a story about "frenemies." It's a story about best friends and chosen brothers trying desperately to heal from a deep fracture between them.

It really cares about every young person in its story, takes their struggles seriously, and gives them chances to redeem themselves when they make mistakes. This drama believes that every kid, even those who have engaged in violence and bullied others, are worth the effort and can be redeemed.

But it also acknowledges that not everything can be fixed and not every kid with a hard life can be saved. It's gut-wrenching, but it's real, and the failures make the triumphs of the story resonate that much more.

It manages to write so many compelling and deep relationships without ever giving in to the impulse to turn them romantic. There is not a single romance plot in this drama and yet it has some of the best relationships I've ever seen on my screen.

It has a phenomenal cast. Lee Jung Suk and Kim Woo Bin are the obvious standouts, and this show absolutely would not work without them and their unreal platonic chemistry at the center. But it also has Jang Nara and Choi Daniel as our beloved teachers and a cast of very talented young actors playing students (a couple of which would go on to be drama headliners themselves). Even the green actors in the cast lent to the authentic feel of the classroom.

If you haven't watched this one yet (and enjoy crying buckets), I highly recommend putting it on your list and definitely watching the original instead of any imitators. And if you have watched it before, I am happy to report that it holds up spectacularly.

[box-dwelling]

There's honestly a really weird thing I've noticed with the legend of ruby in how it's dividing new fans. One part is new who fans feeling more cheated by not seeing Susan fully while classic fans are more excited about getting any information about her. But that's not really what I want to focus on.

The thing that's getting me is the difference between classic and new who fans on the Sutekh reveal. Classic fans have of course been hyped as hell.

But I've seen a lot of sentiment of new who onlys that honestly I think is really valid even though I do watch classic who.

RTD would pull this trick a lot. A finale episode would end on a cliff hanger of an old villain returning. See the master at the end of Utopia or Davros' reaval in season 4. And these worked. In part because they were already hyped up. But truthfully I think this seasons done that too. We have seen who scary the masetro and toymaker are. Even the trickster if you go before second reboot. This is the one they're scared of. His is the being that made them. He is big and intimidating and powerful and that's kinda all we got for the master and Davros' on a first watch too. Some general background context about why they're signifact and why they pose a threat.

But the reason I think this is hitting different is that well, if you were 3-4 seasons in, there was kinda the acknowledgement then that you were going to be missing some context. You would be brought up to speed eventually but still that context is missing and you knew that. If you wanted it you'd have to invest the time in classic who and if you weren't willing to put up that investment you adjusted expectations accordingly. And I want to say that's a completely reasonable thing to do. But everyone was kind of on the same page there. I was rewatching the first season of confidential recently (btw I highly highly recommended it, it's is some genuinely excellent documentary film making) and they'd spend large portions of the episodes talking about the shows history to bring new fans up to speed.

The thing is now, we're 14 seasons and nearly 2 decades in, the show is ment to be a reboot ala season one (which did not expect prior knowledge at all btw) and now the big bad is just some Egyptian god most new who fans have never heard of? I get how that's a let down especially because a lot of fans HAVE invested a ton of time in. They have invested time in 20 years worth of television. But that's still been proven to not be enough. I get why you'd be pissed. It's kinda how I'd feel if a reveal was based on a big finish property. Like I want to get to big finish but TV content comes first. And I don't have unlimited time to give to a show even my favourite show.

But the thing is, I don't know how we solve this. There are interesting bits of the classic canon that haven't been explored yet. Pyramids of mars is an iconic and beloved serial and it hasn't been touched on. I don't want the show to abandon the back catalogue of interesting monsters and charcaters. But I don't know how you thread that needle when new who fans also deserve a return on their time investment. Like if they bring back the rani or Romana they'd deserve so much fan fair and classic fans would feel cheated if it wasn't given. But it's not going to mean shit to new who fans.

Idk, I feel like there's nothing I would do to make the Sutekh reveal hit harder for new who fans. They built him up. They made him scary. They had him be related to other monsters we knew some of whom were entirely new, but I completely get why even that wasn't enough.

[zukkaoru]

These new blorbos you got here, they’re compelling. Should I give Bungo Stray Dogs a shot? Manga or anime?

YESSS okay so. i do really enjoy the bsd anime but the manga is (imo) significantly better. especially once you get to late season 4/season 5. the anime tends to,, sort of water down some characterizations. however the nice thing about the anime is that it includes adaptations of some of the light novels, whereas if you only read the manga, you would have to break at certain parts to read the light novels (specifically the dark era light novel i would say is most important to understanding the main storyline). something else the anime did that i. am not a fan of. is they changed the first light novel - dazai's entrance exam - so it takes place during the events of season 1 instead of two years prior when dazai first joined the agency, and they cut out a good half of it in order to cram it into two episodes

my Ideal recommended watching/reading order is:

bsd anime seasons 1-2 -> the dead apple movie -> bsd anime seasons 3-4 -> bsd manga, either from the beginning or from chapter ~71 to chapter 112 -> bsd anime season 5 -> bsd manga, chapter 113 onward

i also highly recommend reading dazai's entrance exam light novel at some point, but it doesn't matter when. as for the other light novels:

the dark era is adapted at the beginning of s2 (i have not finished reading the ln itself so i can't speak as to how good the adaptation is), fifteen is at the beginning of s3 (this one is mostly good, but some of the fun bits and little characterization moments esp with dazai are cut), ranpo's backstory in untold origins is at the beginning of s4 (i have not read this + i believe the untold origins light novel has more than just ranpo's backstory which was not adapted). the fifteen light novel also has a manga adaptation which i believe is either about to be finished or just recently finished updating. dead apple also has a manga, and was adapted into a movie. i have not read this light novel yet either.

the BEAST light novel is an alternate universe. i have only read the manga for it, but i definitely recommend. there's also a live action movie adaptation which i have not seen but i do not trust. wouldn't recommend watching that first from what i know of it.

light novels without adaptations: storm bringer is chuuya's backstory - i'm partway through this and it is widely regarded to be the most emotionally devastating of the light novels (with the exception of, perhaps, BEAST). 55 minutes i believe takes place sometime in the season 2-3 era? and focuses on atsushi & akutagawa (+ dazai & kunikida?) i haven't read this one yet but i've heard many good things. there's also gaiden which focuses on characters who aren't really present in the main bsd show/manga - one of the main characters works in the government and shows up at least in dead apple. i haven't read this one yet either so can't say much about it. the day i picked up dazai was just recently released, and i haven't read it so i can't say much about it either except i believe it focuses on oda & dazai and might be best understood if you've read BEAST first.

there's also BSD wan! which is a silly comedy vibe spin off. there's one season of it + a manga, but it's not required watching/reading and i don't believe it's considered canon to the main storyline. there are also several anthologies which also have little stories in them but are not necessarily considered canon to the main storyline, but i've heard those are hard to find translations for

tl;dr: the manga is overall better than the anime, but the anime is probably best to start with because it includes important information in the light novel adaptations. once you finish season 4, i would read at least chapters 71-112 of the manga before watching season 5

[shiny-jr]

Ooooh! Shiny have you seen Transformers One yet? I got the chance late Monday night, and had the entire theater to myself and my brother. Nerd out. Wonderful animation, story and gasping. I wasn't into Transformers but I am now

I'm about to say it... I didn't enjoy Transformers One as much as I hoped I would. I've seen better. HOLD ON, put down the tomatoes, I know how it sounds, let me explain. Shiny rants time.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was distracted because I managed to sneak in a whole steak with two sides and a bag of bread to watch the movie, I'll say that. I will also say that animation is stunning, as is the world building which is simply fascinating because not many fans (especially those who've only seen the movies) know or have seen much of Cybertron. The look was gorgeous.

There's two major reasons I could name that might've ruined the experience for me, sort of three maybe. Firstly, as a Transformers fan, I already knew what becomes of Megatron and Optimus, which made the build up sort of meh when I knew what would happen in the end. However, I can see how it would be shocking for the few who don't know that Megatron and Optimus are mortal enemies.

Two, a lot of the side characters did not get the action or dialogue they deserved. I am a huge Bumblebee fan, but he was just kind of annoying in the movie and not in an endearing way, so it made it really hard to like him. Elita had her moments which made me appreciate her too, but it just wasn't good enough, you know? Finally, how dare they reduce Shockwave and Soundwave to a joke? I'll forgive it, because maybe it's pre-trauma and pre-certain-events, but those two can be pretty terrifying, especially Shockwave. He's a cold hard killer, that one. Overall, a lot of the spoken humor really fell flat for me. The funniest parts were the silent moments, such as when a character ran away (B on the train and Orion in the archive).

Something I can appreciate, however, is the topics that can potentially draw comparisons to our reality. The conversation of government control and the dangers of anarchism, classism and potentially racism(?) as in those with cogs and those without cogs. At least, these are the topics I drew from it. But hey, what do I know?

Overall, Transformers One is a good movie, but not a great one. It was real, it was fun, but not real fun.

I will throw in my two cents here, I believe The Wild Robot is THE bot movie of the year, not Transformers One. I have been obsessed with it since watching it. It far exceeded my expectations, and I've been thinking of it everyday.

I won't yap for much longer, especially since I'm getting off topic. Just a bit longer.

If The Wild Robot doesn't win animated movie of the year, I think I will genuinely be upset because it is just so so close to perfection. I don't believe y'all understand how harshly I judge movies. The only other movie that comes to mind on this level of perfection as this one or greater, is Puss In Boots: The Last Wish.

I am so so so glad I decided to see The Wild Robot in theaters. Let me tell you, I do not cry. I pride myself in being calm and composed, but this movie, god, it had me tearing up multiples times and feeling chills. If y'all haven't watched it, I HIGHLY recommend it. I compelled a mutual to watch it and they ugly cried :))

[irrealisms]

hi! i just saw an old post of yours regarding a very indepth s4 youtube playlist and i'm intrigued! i know the basic stuff since i watched some streams around that time but i've been meaning to finally sit and watch s4 from beginning to end. would you be so kind as to drop a link? thank you :]

gonna assume you mean lifesteal (i also have a dsmp s4 playlist haha. i love Making Playlists. love to Curate) and i've actually got a few lifesteal playlists! well. sort of. i have like One in-depth playlist and then i've got Other People's Playlists

so the first thing i recommend which has every* lifesteal s4 edited video (no** VODs) is this playlist by @aroaceacacia -- it's how i got into lifesteal to begin with and i cannot recommend it highly enough. when you finish, keep an eye on zam's youtube channel, i believe he is the only one still editing his s4 & his finale should be coming out soon (a year late) lmaoooo * it is actually missing one video, but it's near the end + it DOES the behind the scenes for that video so it's easy to add in ** technically it's got one (1) 2-hour cut from a Subz VOD which is more VOD-like and less of a Highly Edited Short Video but p much all the rest of the 285 videos are more highly-edited official-yt-channel VideosTM, and even the Subz VOD is a cut from a 24-hour stream rather than the full thing.

unfortunately i don't know of any curated VOD playlists or overviews that cover the beginning of the season, by me or by anyone else--I might work on this at some point but rn unfortunately i haven't actually watched much early s4 :( although if you want, send me a follow-up ask and i'll do my best at a "major events" playlist, mixing edited videos (esp early-season where i havent Watched the VODs) with particularly important VODs for the stuff i Have seen? this would b p easy for me to make i just havent bc i didn't know if there would b interest. ive also been working on a timeline google doc covering all of s4 that includes both VODs and edited videos so, again, lmk if you're interested in that!

the second thing i recommend is this google doc by @myrmica , which starts covering things in detail in december 2022 and has super detailed notes for a BUNCH of VODs. absolutely invaluable resource. my primary recommendation if you want to watch vods from mid to late s4 is to just read this doc and add all the vods that look interesting to your personal playlist.

in terms of in-depth playlists i have, the main one i have is an eclipse federation playlist! it's got a couple vods or cut-down videos of pre-eclipse-fed for some context but mostly it covers eclipse federation's journeys from their formation to the end of the server. i skipped some streams that were just grinding or destroying end portals or similar but if you want those also you can go through the myrmica google doc. NOTE: this ONLY covers eclipse federation!!! and it covers them in pretty close detail!!!! things that get left out of this include stuff like most of the preparations for pangi & zam's god-off, 3ht's trap war, a lot of poopies shenanigans, the team awesome breakup, and of course everything that happened in the Several Months before eclipse federation formed.... basically anything that wasn't relevant to eclipse federation's journey. meanwhile there are multiple 4-hour VODs that are just zam thinking about his relationship problems and nothing rly happens. i honestly would not recommend this unless you are specifically looking for more detail on eclipse federation specifically lol. also i wasn't sure how to handle "there are 2-3 streams of the same events with different povs that have some nonoverlap and some overlap" so...sometimes i include both povs and sometimes i dont. it's a judgement call & i highly recommend going thru the myrmica google doc and making your own playlist--all the vods in this playlist are also on there, eclipse federation didn't Form until mid season 4 so all eclipse-federation-relevant streams are covered

also i've linked this before but ive got a more medium-length eclipse fed playlist that mixes VODs & edited videos so check that out if you want

and of course where would any of us be without the archivist VOD spreadsheet. not super useful if youre looking for Curated Playlists but i need to shout out archivists forever & ever

i've also got much less in-depth playlists of Just Edited Videos for stuff like s4 highlights, covering specific teams/storylines, etc but since you said you were interested in in-depth playlists im not going to link all those unless you ask, this post is already long enough as it is haha. im also maintaining a s5 edited videos playlist if youre interested in that, and ive got links to playlists of s1-3! so just ask if you want any of those

huge apologies if this was overwhelming! u activated my Autism Trap Card (i love playlist curation). & pls pls feel free to send another ask/message/whatever if you have any questions or are curious abt anything else or if you want anything else (i love playlist curation)