#if you follow me here you get slightly more context for art

[activatethis]

Raiden, God of Thunder, Protector of Earthrealm, Designated driver

[tojiluv]

UNVEILING LOVE — uchiha clan ft. sasuke, itachi, shisui, madara, obito [imagine]

context: how would the uchiha men realize their feelings and confess to you? based on “why do you make me feel like this?"

warnings: au. fluff. gn! reader. slight ooc?

notes: this has been sitting in the dust for a while, thank sensen for this idea and motivating me. not my art above.

tags: only for @seneon <3

SASUKE UCHIHA — ❝ THE LAST UCHIHA ❞ 

Sasuke wouldn’t initially understand his feelings for you, unsure of how they differed from those of a friend to a potential lover. Knowing Sasuke, he wouldn’t confess to you due to his past mistakes and doubts about whether he could give you what you want. But that would soon change once he returned to the village and saw you hanging out with a random guy who kept making you laugh at a vendor shop. When you noticed your teammate returning, you waved at him, not realizing the glare he was directing at your friend. Before you could get a word out, Sasuke gently grabbed your arm and pulled you away, making you follow him out of the store without a chance to say goodbye. He kept walking silently until you were alone in a random alleyway, hidden from prying eyes.

“Hey! Sasuke, what was that about? Is everything okay?”

"Who was that?" he asked, his eyes focused on your delicate features that he had grown to admire. You tilted your head, confused by his question.

"Huh? Oh, you mean Lino! He’s just a friend I've been visiting," you said, not noticing how your comment made him feel a bit jealous. Sasuke kept quiet, pondering whether he should say anything or continue to avoid his feelings for you. He wondered if you truly liked him the way he liked you, fearing the possibility of rejection.

Your eyes grew concerned as you watched the stoic male avoid eye contact. “I hope you know that I… I missed you,” you confessed, shyly looking to the side as his head shot up, eyes slightly widened. “I’m just glad you’re back now, even if it's only for a little bit. I’m happy you’re okay.”

Your heart suddenly raced faster than you could maintain as the stoic male grabbed your hand, holding it lightly before gripping it firmly with warmth. You glanced up, your face warming from the contact as you witnessed a small smile appear on his face. You had always had a crush on Sasuke since you became teammates on Team 7 with Naruto and Sakura, but you always hid your feelings deep down. You doubted that you would ever have a chance with Sasuke Uchiha.

"I’m glad you missed me… 'cause I’ve missed you too," he confessed, pulling you closer as you listened intently. "I… I didn’t understand this feeling, wondering what made me feel this way until I realized it was you."

You held your breath, nothing around you capturing your attention except the male in front of you.

“I thought about you the whole time I was away,” Sasuke sighed, gathering the courage to speak his feelings. “I realized that I’ve liked you for quite some time.”

Surprise consumed you, eyes wide open at the confession. You never expected this, especially from Sasuke, who usually wasn’t the type to express his feelings. But here you were, discovering that Sasuke Uchiha liked you, apparently for a long time now. Your heart swelled as a large smile spread across your lips, gripping his hand more tightly than before. Sasuke felt all the tension loosen from his shoulders as his admiration for you grew stronger from your words.

“I've always liked you, Sasuke, for years. And I will continue to do so as long as I’m by your side.”

ITACHI UCHIHA — ❝ ITACHI OF THE SHARINGAN ❞ 

Itachi found himself in a rare moment of contemplation, leaning against the sturdy trunk of a cherry blossom tree. He allowed his thoughts to drift to a singular figure that seemed to occupy every corner of his mind: you. Closing his eyes, Itachi attempted to unravel the enigma of his feelings. When had he fallen in love with you? The question lingered in his mind like a persistent shadow.

He recalled the first time he met you, your bright eyes reflecting curiosity and kindness, a stark contrast to the darkness that often enveloped his world. At that moment, something stirred within him, a whisper of possibility that he dared not acknowledge, frustrating his inner being with the thoughts. As time passed, your presence became a constant in his life, weaving its way into the fabric of his existence. Like music to his ears, your laughter echoed in his memories, warming even the coldest corners of his heart. Your unwavering support during challenging missions, and your gentle encouragement in moments of doubt—each interaction etched itself into his soul, leaving an indelible mark.

It was difficult for him to accept a different form of love to enter his complicated heart. 

Now, under the cascading petals of the cherry blossom tree, the realization hit him with a gale force. His chest tightened, and he opened his eyes, staring at the soft pink petals fluttering around him, their beauty a stark reminder of his vulnerability. He took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his emotions settle within him. 

"Why do you make me feel like this?" he muttered to himself, the question laden with confusion and a touch of exasperation.

Just then, he heard footsteps approaching. He turned his head and saw you walking towards him, your presence immediately calming the storm of his thoughts. You smiled, and he felt the familiar warmth spread through him, a warmth that he now recognized as love.

"Itachi, are you alright?" you asked, concerned.

He hesitated, his usual stoic demeanor cracking under the intensity of his feelings. For a moment, he considered staying silent, keeping his turmoil hidden. But then he realized he couldn't continue like this, trapped in his own emotions.

"It’s you," he said quietly, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside. "You make me feel like this." Your eyes widened slightly, surprise and curiosity flickering across your face. "What do you mean?"

He took a step closer, his gaze never leaving yours. "Every time I see you and hear your voice, I feel something I can't ignore anymore. It’s confusing and frustrating, but I can't deny it any longer. I... I love you."

The words hung in the air between you, a confession that felt both liberating and terrifying. Itachi's heart raced as he awaited your response, hoping that the feelings he'd kept hidden for so long would not be met with rejection.

You blinked, absorbing his words, and then a soft smile spread across your face. "Itachi," you said gently, taking his rough hands into your own. "I love you too."

Relief washed over him, and for the first time in a long while, he allowed himself to truly smile. The complicated emotions that had plagued him began to untangle, replaced by a sense of peace he hadn't known was possible. At that moment, under the cherry blossom tree, Itachi Uchiha found solace in your embrace, knowing that he no longer had to face his feelings alone. With gentle tenderness, he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on your forehead, a silent affirmation of his love and gratitude.

SHISUI UCHIHA — ❝ THE BODY FLICKER ❞ 

The sound of clashing kunai echoed through the training grounds as you and Shisui sparred under the burning sun. Shisui's movements, usually swift and precise, seemed distracted today, his mind elsewhere. You noticed his unfocused gaze and slower reactions, wondering what could be bothering him. As you circled each other, you saw another opening and took it, landing a solid hit to his head. Shisui stumbled back, rubbing the spot where you had struck him, his expression a mix of pain and embarrassment.

"What’s wrong with you today?" you demanded, frustration clear in your tone. "You're not paying attention and using your full potential."

Shisui sighed, lowering his eyes to the ground. "I'm sorry," he muttered, avoiding your gaze. "I know I should be doing better."

Your annoyance faded slightly as you watched him. Shisui Uchiha, one of the most talented shinobi in the village, was never one to slack off during training. Something had to be seriously bothering him.

"Well, what's going on?" you asked, softer this time. "You can tell me."

Shisui hesitated, his mind racing. He had been overthinking his feelings for you for days, his thoughts a tangled mess of confusion and longing. He hadn't meant to let it affect his training, but being so close to you, yet unable to express how he felt, was driving him to lose focus.

"I... it's just..." he began, struggling to find the right words. "I've been thinking a lot lately, about... things." You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "Things? What things?"

He took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest. "About you," he blurted out before he could stop himself. "I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way until I realized that I… I like you!"

The silence that followed was deafening. Shisui's eyes widened as he realized what he had just confessed, his face turning crimson. He hadn't meant to say it, especially not like this.

Your eyes widened in surprise, taken aback by his sudden admission. "Shisui..."

"I-I'm sorry," he stammered, backing away slightly. "I didn't mean to... I mean, I did, but not like this. I just..."

You stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Shisui, it's okay," you said gently, a smile tugging at your lips. "You don't have to apologize.”

Shisui stood up from the ground, wiping off any dirt as he avoided eye contact, his face still flushed with embarrassment. "I thought you knew," he murmured. "I don’t even use my Sharingan and barely put any power into my movements during our training sessions..."

"I just thought you were going easy on me," you admitted, rubbing the back of your head and feeling a bit foolish for not realizing the obvious signs. However, a warmth spread through you at his vulnerability, and a glowing grin appeared on your lips. "Well, for the record, I like you too."

The relief that washed over Shisui's face was palpable, his tense shoulders relaxing as he let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Well, of course, you fell for my charms. How could you not?" he teased, a playful smile breaking through his worried expression.

You chuckled and shoved a hand against his shoulder. "Don’t get too ahead of yourself now. How about we continue sparring? But this time, I expect you to give it your all if you want to win over my heart fully."

Shisui grinned, feeling the weight of his unspoken feelings finally lifts. "Oh, you've got yourself a bet."

As you resumed your positions, you both couldn't shake the feeling that the sparring match had taken on a new, deeper significance. At that moment, under the fading light of the day, you both understood that this was the start of something special. The connection between you had deepened, turning a simple sparring match into a cherished memory. After the match (Shisui won), you sat together, hands linked, feeling a sense of peace and happiness, knowing that you had found something truly wonderful with each other.

MADARA UCHIHA — ❝ GHOST OF THE UCHIHA ❞

Madara Uchiha, a man known for his iron will and unyielding resolve, found himself ensnared in an internal struggle that defied his every attempt at control. His feelings for you had become a thorn in his side, a relentless source of annoyance that he couldn’t simply brush away. In an attempt to cope, he had begun to distance himself from you, hoping that the space would extinguish the unwanted emotions. However, it only served to exacerbate the situation. You noticed his sudden coldness, the way he avoided your presence and cut conversations short. Hurt and frustrated, you decided to confront him. You found him in a secluded courtyard, his back turned as he stared out at the night sky, lost in thought.

“Madara,” you called out, your voice firm. “We need to talk.”

He didn’t turn, his silence only fueling your frustration. You walked closer, refusing to be ignored. “Why have you been avoiding me? What did I do?”

“It’s nothing,” he replied tersely, still not facing you.

“It’s not nothing!” you snapped, moving to stand in front of him, forcing him to meet your eyes. “Tell me what’s going on!”

His jaw tightened, and you could see the storm brewing behind his dark eyes. “Just leave it alone,” he said, standing up from his spot to walk away.

“No,” you insisted, stepping into his path. “I won’t leave it alone. You owe me an explanation.”

The tension between you reached a breaking point. Madara’s frustration finally erupted. With a swift motion, he punched the wall beside him, cracks radiating out from the impact of his chakra. Despite the sudden action, you remained unflinching, eyes locked on his as you had anticipated this eruption from the stubborn Uchiha.

“Why do you have this effect on me?” he shouted, his voice a mixture of anger and desperation. “Why can’t I stop thinking about you? It’s infuriating!”

Your breath caught in your throat, but you pressed on, your voice softer now. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” you asked. “Why push me away?”

“Because I’m in love with you!” he roared, the confession tearing out of him. “And I hate it! I hate that I can’t control it, that you make me feel this way!”

The raw intensity of his words hung in the air, his chest heaving from the outburst. You stepped closer, reaching out to gently touch his arm. “Madara,” you said softly, “you don’t have to fight it. I love you too.”

His eyes softened, the storm within them calming. Vulnerability seeped through his usually stoic facade as he looked at you. “You... do?”

“Yes,” you replied, your voice steady and sincere. “From the moment we met after the war, I knew I did.”

For a moment, silence enveloped them, allowing his words to sink in. Then, slowly, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if afraid you might slip away. “I’ve been a fool,” he murmured against your hair, the tension in his body easing. “I should have told you sooner.” 

You wrapped your arms around him, feeling the solidity of his presence. “We’ll figure it out together,” you whispered.

In that embrace, the world seemed to shrink until it was just the two of you. Madara finally allowed himself to let go of the control he had clung to so fiercely. The future might still be uncertain, but with you by his side, he knew he could face whatever came next.

OBITO UCHIHA — ❝ THE MASKED MAN ❞

In the hidden depths of Obito Uchiha's heart, emotions swirled like a tumultuous storm, leaving him lost in a haze of confusion. Amidst the chaos of his thoughts, he struggled to decipher the true nature of his feelings for you. He watched you from afar, his heart yearning for something more, yet fearing the consequences of exposing his true emotions to the light. Each friendly gesture and shared moment deepened his uncertainty, leaving him adrift in a sea of conflicting emotions.

Day after day, he found himself drawn to you like a moth to a flame, captivated by your smile, your laughter, your mere presence. Yet, beneath the surface of his admiration, a seed of jealousy lay dormant, gnawing at his soul whenever he saw you with another man. He attempted to suppress the pang of envy that pierced his heart whenever he witnessed you in someone else's company, but the feeling only intensified with each passing day. The mere thought of someone else holding your attention, of another person eliciting the smiles he longed to see from you, was unbearable to him.

Then, one fateful day, his worst fears materialized as he stumbled upon you in the village, your laughter intertwined with that of another man's. A surge of jealousy engulfed him, threatening to consume him whole as he watched the scene unfold before his eyes, witnessing a random leaf ninja bid farewell to you.

Unable to contain his emotions any longer, the words spilled from Obito's lips in a rush of desperation and longing. "I can't stand seeing you with him!" he blurted out, his voice laced with bitterness.

You turned to face him, surprise flickering in your eyes at his outburst and undetected presence. "Obito, what are you talking about?"

Obito took a shaky breath, his heart pounding, struggling to find the right words. "I–I'm sorry. It's just... I've been confused about my feelings for you and the way you affect my entire being. And then seeing you with him... it hurts."

A heavy silence settled between them, the weight of his confession hanging in the air like a shroud. And then, to his surprise, you reached out and took his hand in yours, your touch sending a jolt of warmth through his veins. "Obito… Say it, please."

He sighed, feeling the weight of his emotions pressing down upon him like a suffocating blanket, his face burning from your intense look. “I know we're friends, and I value that more than anything, but I believe there's something more between us. And it's driving me insane because I… I cherish you deeply!”

Awaiting the sudden rejection, to his shock, you placed his hand against your cheek, your face nuzzling against his warmed palms as you graced him with the same sweet smile he had grown to love dearly.

“I've always loved you, Obito, ever since we became classmates in the academy. I knew that the boy who declared himself to be the next Hokage with those big goggles on his face was truly someone I would always admire.”

His heart skipped a beat at your words, a rush of euphoria flooding his senses as he realized how long you had waited for him. He couldn't believe his luck and fathom that the person he had been pining for felt the same way about him for so long. And as you leaned in closer, your lips brushing against his in a tender kiss, Obito felt as though he were floating on air. In that moment, amidst the chaos of his emotions, he found a sense of clarity and peace, knowing that he had finally found the person who would stand by his side through thick and thin.

© 𝐭𝐨𝐣𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐯 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

[gomzwrites]

Task force 141 found out about your soft spots | Part 2

Summary: Ever since they saw the softer part of you, the task force 141 has been trying to see more of them. a/n: This is a follow-up from the previous part! It can be read separately but part 1 gives more context :)  Also! The dividers were made by @gomzdraws (which is also me lol) apologies if I took too long! I'll have to admit I got a bit carried away with part :>

Tags: incorrect military terms, fluff, can be read as platonic or romantic, horrible attempt at Scottish accent(I gave up near the end xD), mention of dog bites, x gn!reader

PLEASE DO NOT RESHARE MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Captain John Price

The two of you returned to base after just recently completing the mission; the target was secured and handled, and you rested in the general area as you looked through your phone again, updating your to-do list as you had stumbled upon the photo of the cute latter art previously. You stop and lean on the counter as you smile. It's so freaking cute, you think to yourself before a nudge takes your attention.

"Come", was all the captain said before you quickly followed along without questions. You’re always eager to follow any instructions he gives; maybe he needed to discuss the upcoming mission. But it’s obvious it's not going to be that as you sit in his car. Where are we going?

You ask curiously as you fasten the seat belt. The Captain only gives you a smile as he presses the gas pedal. "Just getting something to eat", he replies as you nod and relax into the chair. Well, it's nearing evening, and you are, in fact, quite hungry, so a small bite before dinner doesn’t sound too bad. It wasn’t long before you finally reached your destination. It’s a quiet town that has a few stalls and shops, and you walk alongside the captain until you stop before a small cafe, tucked nicely at the end of the street.

You look through the window as you watch the few people and barista chilling inside. It looks warm and cosy; there were soft fairy lights lining the pale yellowish wall with brown pillars supporting the structure. The captain gently places his hand around your back as he guides you to enter the cafe. You follow along as you take in the fresh smell of coffee and pastries and the sight of the small place. Price let you wander around for a while before taking a seat near the stairs, and a waiter quickly came as he greeted him. 

"Ah John! It's been a while; I see you brought company." The older man then hands you both the menu as he chuckles and bumps the captain’s shoulder. Price nods back as he glances back at you and says, "Pick anything you want, it’s on me", You give him a surprised look before you nod and take a look. You smile as you look through the list on the menu; it has a lot of cute drinks and desserts, so he saw. You thought to yourself as you ordered a latte; it's apparently their best-selling drink with the 3D cat milk foam on top of the drink. The waiter nods as he looks at Price, to whom he orders tea and some apple strudels. The waiter takes down the order on his notepad before promptly returning to the counter and preparing the orders.

How did you find this place? You ask the captain as you take in the surroundings again; it's a hidden gem, that’s for sure, and the prices on the menu were not bad as well.

"I knew this place because Oliver, the man who took our order just now, used to go to the same college", you hum as a reply and nod.

It's a nice place, and I can’t wait to try the drink, you reply back with a smile as your eyes twinkle with excitement. The captain chuckles as he nods. 

"Well, I didn’t take you as someone who likes these kinds of things, but it's a pleasant surprise, don’t worry. So I figured I'd bring you here." 

He raised an eyebrow out of amusement as he watched you blush slightly. You huffed out a puff of air before you replied sheepishly, 

Ah well, I guess cute things are my weakness after all; who would’ve guessed? 

"Just don't let the enemy know, and you’ll be fine", the captain jokes back as your drink arrives, and you immediately close your mouth as you watch the foam wiggle around when it was placed gently on the table. 

Oh my god, you whisper to yourself as you gasp and take in the sight, quickly taking your phone out and taking a picture. You glance back at Price with sparkling eyes as you tilt your head, giving him a "are you seeing this?" look as he chuckles and nods. He can feel the joy radiating from your face as you go ahead and stare at the drink, and the way you carefully turn the cup around to see the whole thing? Precious.  

He watches you take a sip. You close your eyes and give a nod as you savour the taste. Not only was the drink cute, but the flavour was perfect as well. You can smell the coffee's aroma and see how smooth the drink is. You didn’t realise when you had a bit of foam below your nose as you smiled back at the captain. Price couldn't help but laugh slightly as he took a tissue and wiped off the foam from your face. "Guessing you like it then?", you nod as you place down the cup and cover your mouth slightly to hide the pink blush that’s creeping up to your cheek. 

Yeah, it's not too bitter, and it tastes pretty rich. I like it. You reply as you watch him hum and take his strudel and tea. 

"Good, we can come here again next time". He says this as he gives you a warm grin and a wink.

John Soap MacTavish 

It was another week of training with the two military dogs, specifically Max and Judy, two German Shepherds who have been quite fond of you as they follow the training. Over the course of the regimen, you are supposed to reinforce essential handling techniques and carry out a few conditioning exercises like generalised commands. You may not be a military dog handler, but the training has definitely improved your skills to be one. Soap has joined you on a few training sessions and watches on the side as you smoothly handle the dogs, carrying out the essential steps and watching as the dogs follow you obediently. He finds it inspiring to see you train with the professional dog handler, Sergeant Sam, who has been offering a lot of help and tips. 

Today, Sergeant Sam guides you through controlled aggression training for Max, something the dog has had some trouble with for the past few days. Max has shown a good level of precision when commanded to attack a target, but its restraint technique still needs more practice, as Max tends to move before you give your words. You coo and guide Max as you carry out the demonstration, pointing at the volunteer as Max growls. You hold onto the leash firmly when Max tries to run towards the target, and you speak with a steady, calm voice as you patiently coo at the dog. 

Alright Max, steady. Not yet. Stay. 

Your voice hushed Max as it reduced his growl and made him stand on the ground, no longer pulling on the leash, and wait for your next command.

Okay, good boy Max, you don't forget to praise it immediately. This is one of the many bits of advice given by Sergeant Sam, it is said to give the dog motivation and let it know it’s doing the right thing if you praise its action immediately. 

You finally gave the signal after a while, and Max immediately went to jump and bite on the protective coat the volunteer was wearing, growling and displaying its aggression as you guided the dog. Sergeant Sam and you continue to practise a few more times with Max to properly train him to improve his restraining skills. 

After a few hours, you were finally given a break as you sat on the floor, sweating as you gently rubbed Max’s head. 

There you are, good boy Max~ So proud of you!

 You whisper to Max as you feel something poke your back. You glance back and smile as you watch Judy (the other military dog) wagging its tail and giving your cheek a lick. 

Ah! Judy, did you miss me? Hey now, who’s a good boy~?

You immediately shower Judy with attention and pat its head as you glance up to watch Soap approaching you. You wave to him as he stands at a distance. You watch his nervousness show as he rubs his neck and taps his foot repeatedly on the ground. You then stand up and order Max and Judy to sit and remain still on the floor as you walk to Soap. 

Sergeant Soap, good to see you. You greeted him with a smile as he relaxed slightly and smiled back at you. 

"Aye, I saw da training todae; it seems yer gettin better at this!", he said as he nervously glanced back at Max and Judy before staring back at you again. You nodded appreciatively as you chuckled and spoke. 

Yeah, Max and Judy have been behaving well, and the training with them is running smoothly. They remind me of my own dog back home, you say fondly as you watch him glance back at you with a surprised grin. 

"Wut? You owned a German Shepherd? That’s perfect, then, actually", You watch as he shuffles around his pocket as he holds out a bag of snacks; it’s Milk-Bone dog biscuits! You smile widely as he hands you the snack. 

"Well, I wanted to give it to ya as a wae to say thanks since yer took the job for me; you seem close to dogs anyhow; I hope I bought the right thing". Soap says as he laughs and pats your shoulder, "What’s the name?", He asks before you take out your phone and proudly show him photos of your own German Shepherd. It's big, and it has a golden sable pattern that shines ever so slightly under the sun. 

Named it Meatball because he always managed to steal some from the kitchen. He is my little ball of sunshine, you explain with a soft giggle as you show him more pictures, swiping the gallery before stopping on one where you were carrying Meatball with a struggling look, face scrunched up with a frown with a grin, you chuckle as you look back at Soap, 

He’s almost 5 years old now and still jumps and expects me to carry him around like a baby, even when he's 60 pounds! 

Soap laughs along as he stares at the photo. You looked so happy and content, and he likes how cheerful and giddy you are when you start talking about your dog. He’s still scared of dogs, but he felt like with you, he might be able to overcome that fear a little as he listens to your stories. 

I'm sorry for babbling so much, by the way. You stop halfway when you realise you’ve been talking for the past 10 minutes about your own dog, but Soap quickly shakes his head as he rests his hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring look as he speaks,

"No, no, go on. I love hearing yer talk about Meatball. He’s really cute!", Soap says as he gives you a nudge. "might even visit the fella with how sweet he sounds". Your eyes beamed when he suggested that,

Really? I mean, I don't want to force you to meet him if you’re still uncomfortable and all

Soap nods again as he gives a chuckle. 

"Well, I think I'm still a bit nervous, but it's something I want to try again, ya know?", You nod in understanding before you think for a moment and give a reply as you glance back at the military dogs. 

How about you start by warming up to Judy? Max is a bit bigger and more intimidating, but Judy is smaller, and he’s more obedient. Do you want to try it? Soap sucks in a breath as he contemplates for a few minutes before finally sighing as he nods slowly. You smile as you rest your hand on his thigh to soothe his nerves. 

It's okay; you’re with me. It will be alright. You say gently as you call for Judy to come around. Soap watches as Judy slowly makes its way towards you and Soap, his legs shuffling a bit as his muscles tense up when Judy comes and sits in front of you.

Be good. Soap is going to touch you, okay? You coo at Judy as the dog gives a nod and rests its head on your knee. You glance back at Soap as you hold his hand and speak.

You’re going to be okay; Judy won't bite, I promise. Soap nods with a gulp as he lets you take his hand and guide it to Judy’s head. You watch as he retracts his hand a bit when Judy tilts its head to stare at Soap. 

"y-y/n…" Soap says nervously before you pause and rub his hand in small circles, 

It's alright; take it slow and don't worry. You speak patiently as you watch Soap nod and take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. You don’t move and continue holding his hand in the air, and wait to let him take the initiative to move, and not long after that, he starts running his finger along the head of Judy’s fur cautiously. Judy remains still as it closes its eyes and wags its tail slightly. You give a small chuckle as you whisper back to Soap,

You’re alright; look, Judy likes you. You say as Soap relaxes more as he watches in awe, smiling slightly when he watches the dog press its furry chin onto your knees and melt into his touches. It’s certainly a much different response to what he imagined, and the memories of dogs biting into his legs and arms still haunt him sometimes. He can feel those sharp teeth sinking into his skin and drawing blood in those nightmares, but now? This dog he's touching is peacefully laying on your knee, not moving an inch as he strokes his fur softly with his palm, it's unnerving to him still, like he still expects the dog to bite him if he lets down his guard. But slowly, he gets more comfortable when he sees no signs of that happening, he also knows that if you're here with him, he'll be alright.

Soap glanced back at you as he held his gaze. "Thank you...", he said with a tone full of appreciation as you smiled back at him and nodded. 

No worries, I'm happy you’re able to come this far, you say back with a soft tone as the both of you just continue like this, chatting idly back and forth as Soap slowly strokes Judy’s fur. By the end of the conversation, Judy was resting its head on Soap’s tight, and Soap was no longer trembling as he rests his hand on its head.

Kyle Gaz Garrick

Ever since Gaz dropped off the bear in your room, you’ve been trying to reach out to him. But many times that has not happened because of the busy schedules, and it also doesn’t help that you’re not often teamed up with him. 

However, when you do see him, you make sure to give him a nod and an appreciative stare as he returns the same. You’ll admit you were not as close to Gaz when compared to Ghost, but ever since the IKEA trip, both of you have been trying to change that, even if it’s just a bit. Sometimes he brews you a cup of tea in the morning; other times you’ll secretly take on his paperwork when you notice those tired eye bags in the morning. 

But you wanted to return the favour with more than just these small gestures. You’ve thought about a lot of options; the first thing was perhaps to buy him a game of sorts. You heard from Soap before that Gaz is a gamer himself and owns a Switch. The problem is that you’re not aware of what kind of games he’s into, and asking those questions will raise suspicions. You have a rough idea that he might like action role-playing and multiplayer games like Elden Ring and World of Warcraft; sometimes you know Soap and Gaz will play Mario Kart because of how loud their laughter can be in their room. But you don’t like guessing and would rather get him something you’re absolutely sure he will like. The other thing you wanted to get him was perhaps a hat or a scarf, seeing as he likes wearing those. But you learned that he is very attached to his scarf, so buying him a new one didn’t seem right to you. As for the hat, you actually found a blue beanie that might look good on him, but you decided to save it for his birthday. After many sleepless nights of trying to figure out what on earth to give him, the opportunity finally presented itself one day. You just finished a mission with the team, and as the crew made their way back to base, you noticed how Gaz’s gloves were damaged; the thumb side was burned off, most likely due to the explosion previously. Gaz took notice of your gaze and gave you a smile.

"It's alright; the rest of it is still fine I can live with it." 

You give a nod as he turns around and speaks to Soap again, back to their usual banter as Gaz elbows Soap for not warning him when the bomb goes off. You secretly thank Soap for his recklessness because now you know exactly what to get him.

You tip-toed around the base during the late hours, being quiet and stepping cautiously on the floorboard to avoid generating any noise. You rest your hand along the wall as you walk before finally reaching the door. You glance around once and finally bend down to put down the little green box with a cute yellow ribbon. You smile softly to yourself as you stand up, only to yelp slightly when Gaz taps on your shoulder from the back. 

"Hey, erm, what are you sneaking around for?-", he stops as you quickly glance back as you nervously stand before the gift, shuffling it behind your feet as you shake your head. Gaz watches your demeanour before he smiles as he looks down, noticing a small gift box. "I didn’t know it was my birthday today", he jokes with that charming smile of his, chuckling softly as he tilts his hand and leans closer.

"You don’t have to be so shy around me. Come on", He bends down to pick up the box as he opens the door. You were about to leave before he stops as he looks at you, motioning to enter his room. You gulp as you nod and follow along, deciding to sit on his bed beside him. You have never entered any member’s room at this point, and you’re surprised at how cosy his room is. A few blankets here and there; he even has a few plushies himself! You get distracted by his place without realising he has already pulled off the ribbon and taken out the gift. You turn around and face him when he lets out a gasp.

"YOU DID NOT-"

Gaz said excitedly as he held a pair of Moto gloves, navy in colour with a dash of blue camouflage, lined with hard leather that protects the knuckles. You watch as his eyes shine and he smiles so big that you can see his prominent canine teeth protruding, silently satisfied with yourself when he thanks you for the gift.

I've been wanting to return the favour since you got me the bear.

You say softly as he nods and tests out the glove. It’s a perfect fit as he feels the texture and size.

"This is amazing! I love it. Thank you so much", He thanks you again as he gives your head a pat. Both of you decided to stay for a while and chat idly after that.

Simon Ghost Riley

You were awake the entire night, blinking and shuffling around your bed as you sighed deeply. 

Another sleepless night 

You thought to yourself as you pressed a pillow to your own face. You usually have trouble sleeping sometimes—more than you would like to admit. Whether it's because of the stress that lingers after missions or because of nightmares, They plague your nights without mercy. 

You groan and sit up as you stare at the clock. 

It's about 5 a.m. already, and I still can’t sleep. 

You grumble to yourself as you stand and stretch, pissed that you can’t even enjoy a day off without getting a good night's sleep. You decided to run some laps around the field to tyre yourself out and nap afterwards. 

And you did just that, running around the field for the past half an hour already, yet somehow you can feel that you’re more awake than usual. You know you’re physically tired, but your mental state refuses to calm down and screams at you. You sat on the ground hopelessly before lying on it, staring up at the sky as you let out a long, defeated sigh as you let out a few more grumble.

"Good morning, y/n" comes a voice as you glance to your left, recognising it as you divert your gaze from his shoe to his mask.

Good morning, Lieutenant Ghost, You reply back as you sit up and frown, slightly embarrassed that he saw you like this. 

"Grabbing coffee for them, coming along?" He asks as he shakes the car key in his left hand, his other resting in the pocket of his black hoodie. You nod as you stand up by yourself and brush away the dust as both of you head to the jeep.

You’ve done this routine before with Ghost, sometimes doing it yourself. The group likes to take turns buying coffee and breakfast every weekend near the base; even the barista and workers have already recognised you guys at this point. 

"Ah, it's you, 3 black coffees and 2 Earl Greys as per usual, yes?" Ghost nods to the shorter barista as she promptly prepares the drinks. You stood beside Ghost as you glanced around when you waited for the order before catching your sight on the fridge that displayed pastries and other small bites. 

swiss roll!! 

You take notice of the delicacy as you step closer to the glass. They rarely have cakes, at least whenever you come to visit anyway; mostly they display croissants or sandwiches, and you have to admit that the swiss roll they sell looks pretty good and tempting. 

Matcha, strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate

You take a close look at all the options as you stare excitedly. Ghost watches as he stands closer and bumps your shoulder. 

"Chocolate is good."

He whispers into your ears as you blush slightly at the sudden closeness and glance back at him. You nod as you stare back at that specific swiss roll. It even has what you assume is chocolate whipped cream with a small cherry on top. You whisper back softly as you grab his sleeve timidly. 

Can I try the cake with you?

You know you can finish this cake yourself, but you wanted to share it with him since he suggested it in the first place. 

Ghost blinks before nodding as he pats your hand, ordering the chocolate swiss roll as you smile and happily take a seat in the corner of the cafe. You watch as he brings the plate and sets it on the table. He hands you a fork as he watches you poke through the cake and take a bite.

!!! 

Your eyes beam as your face lights up when you have a taste; the soft, spongy chocolate cake is perfect, and paired with the chocolate whipped cream? It tasted like heaven. Ghost chuckles as he watches you take another bite. 

"Told ya"

You nod as you glance back at him with a giddy smile. You were right. You say as you take a much bigger part of the cake and hand the fork to him, and he nods as he pulls his balaclava to eat the cake, making sure he watches you from the corner of his eyes as he eats it. He likes seeing you take in the sight of him shamelessly, even if it's just his jaw and lips. He liked how you always stare and trail along the faint scar he has around the chin; it's as if you’re mapping him out and memorising his features. He gives a hum of approval as he finishes the bite and hands you back the fork, urging you to take more as you shake your head. 

"It's okay, kid, I’ve tried this cake before already. Eat."

He says this as you frown slightly and nod along, then enjoy the cake again as your brows slowly relax. He smiles as he continues to watch you eat; he knows that you’re always eager and tend to be more compassionate than the other members, even if you don't show it. Gestures like how you always save a seat for him in the planes beside Soap, or how you silently wipe and clean Soap’s guns after missions, or how you always helped Gaz with reports, and you always brew a cup of coffee for Captain when he needs it, your actions doesn't go unnoticed by him. 

Do you have a sweet tooth? 

The question caught him off guard as he watch your eye. He took a few moments to ground himself before nodding. He watched the glint of amusement in your eyes as you smiled and leaned in to ask another question. 

Then what’s your favourite dessert? 

He smiles at your question as he leans in and rests his arm on the table as he stares back at you. 

"Chocolate, if that wasn’t obvious enough already."

You chuckle as you shake your head and slightly poke his muscular arm. 

Yeah, I have an idea, obviously, but you know, like, what kind? Like chocolate bars? Cocoa drinks? Chocolate brownies? You know what I mean, you list out the example as you bite on the fork. 

He chuckles as he goes on and answers back, then you shoot another question and the process repeats. They may be small and mundane questions, but moments like this make him feel human again, to remind him that he is not just a war machine in this world, that he too has cravings and such, plus it also feels like you get to know him better, and perhaps this friendship can flourish more.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= a/n: am I biased towards Gaz? yes, yes I am(and yeah the gloves are from CSGO lol), like and reposts are appreciated! Have a good day/night! <3

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hi it's the good omens mascot here's some shit about me that might be relevant

I appear to have accidentally caused chaos so I figured you might as well know about me since I'm responsible for it. And also so that you know who you broke, thanks ineffable fandom.

I have been called the prophet by some of you all. This is not entirely untrue, but I would like to add as I did in one post, that Apollo also gave me the curses of art, (very emotional) music, (sometimes good mostly dreadful) poetry, (same parentheses apply, except that the dreadful is on purpose) writing and (used to be good now dreadful) medical knowledge, and so yes, you did accidently adopt a messenger of an ancient Greek god.

Yes, this entire entry into your cult happened from start to now happened in 48 hours.

This will seem less bizarre when I give you context about me and fandoms. I changed career paths (after three years of intense study that cost me my sanity) from science to the arts because I was inspired by drarry fanfiction of them leaving their ministry jobs and following their dreams. Yes I tossed three years and my loss of sanity away in one week of decisions. I'm now a designer. Thanks Draco.

I read so much drarry fanfiction that my mum had to take me to the hospital for injured wrists. I wore wrist and elbow supports and was in constant pain for a few months. I was only later introduced to autoscroll. Yes, I am a fool. Yes, I am unaware of how to human.

I'm broke and cheap enough that I feel guilty buying bottled water, but for Christmas I spent the equivalent of around 150 bottles of water getting a Bakewell tart custom made (they don't sell them where I live). Why? Because in one single fanfiction, it is Draco's favourite food. I would never spend that kind of money on a dessert for any real human being.

That is to say, you all are not ready for when I REALLY fall for Crowley. I don't saunter vaguely downwards for people. I bypass earth and crash into hell, leaving a smoking pit in its infernal ground.

I swear I'm not as dumb as I seem, I just have ZERO general knowledge, and am terrible with faces. I can tell you what the graffiti on the walls of Pompeii from before 70 AD said but I don't know who my previous president was, and personally I think that's very classy of me.

Some of you seem concerned about my sleep schedule. Worry not, I sleep in four installments, night, morning nap, afternoon nap, evening nap. I sleep more than you all, that I can promise. I sleep more than my doggy sister.

About the streams and the timezones, I have no idea how to make it so people can watch, because I frequently mix up east and west and last morning I mixed up the Pacific and Atlantic ocean. I don't know at what point the Eastern hemisphere becomes the Western or how any of it works. I also thought Wakanda was a real place.

But hey fun fact, in 2020 diclofenac sales were dropping in Iceland. I know this because I wanted to make sure to use the correct painkiller in one sentence of a story I was writing. It was completely irrelevant. But hey any of you writers here probably feel my pain. I don't write fanfiction, but I am an author and I write original stories. And honestly what is more useful, Icelandic diclofenac sales from three years ago or timezones?

A career test once told me to be a standup comedian.

Yes that's me Asmi, just your regular dumbass lad who is slightly unhinged, serving himbo twink energy, hello hi nice to meet you all. PS: the poll results are out and Doctor Who won, so tremble, DW fandom.

[starsofarda]

Ok, since @starshadeemilyart has inspired me, here's a spinoff, or several, of my post about the Finweans + Thingol in the Shire in the Third Age. Also PLS CHECK HER ART, IT'S FEFE FIGHTING LOBELIA SACKVILLE-BAGGINS!!!!!

Anyway, here's what I have to offer.

It's VERY long, so I am putting this under cut

MAGLOR'S HOBBIT EXTREME MAKEOVER

Well, as seen in my OG post, Maglor gets picked up on the way to Hobbiton. He is wearing shabby black robes and has seaweed in his hair, bc by now he IS the beach cryptid everyone talk about. At least, Hobbits know of him and treat him like we treat fairies.

It is a bit of a surprise for the Hobbits to know that he is technically a prince and lord and whatnot, and they take a good look at him and then at his brothers/father/cousins/uncle/whoever is Thingol and decide that the local cryptid needs a makeover. The Hobbit Way.

So Maglor gets gently bullied into following the Hobbit ladies, who insist that "This is for your own good, Mr. Cryptid, no gentleHobbit wears seaweed in their hair, also what is the last time you had a proper bath?"

They have to find the biggest bathtub ever known to Hobbit, which they do.

It takes the Hobbit ladies a good 5 hours, interlaced with Maglor trying to say "but my ladies, I have male body parts, you surely would be ashamed!" and "you really do not need to extend your kindness to me", to which he gets a "we have seen it all" because they are elderly grandmas who think the Cryptid is their child or something and have had countless kids and grandkids, and also "once again, it is for your own good!".

Well. Maglor comes back all cleaned up and dressed head to toe in Hobbit fashion: white shirt, red vest, navy coat and black trousers, hair neatly tied in a low ponytail (the grandmas had been waiting this moment since the first time they saw Maglor Being a Cryptid).

Feanor has to commend the grandmas, he offers to repair and rebuild everything they need, but he gets shushed with a "it's nothing, we were planning that for years and also you gave the nasty Sackville-Bagginses a run for their money and that's more than enough".

They also polished Maglor's harp properly.

The contrast with the Elvish robes the others are wearing is a bit jarring, but they all agree that it's an upgrade from "Seaweed Elf". They also commend the use of red, which is actually the family color (the Hobbits did not know that, they just thought it would fit him).

Later on Maglor will keep the Hobbit fashion, albeit slightly more adapted to himself and to Elvish customs.

RUSSINGON WEDDING

Yes, I mentioned Russingon Shire wedding and @starshadeemilyart made a brilliant piece on that, pls check it!

Anyway.

Fingon is called "The Valiant" for many reasons, but I am 1000% sure that in this context he is The Valiant for proposing:

Publicly at the Green Dragon

In front of all Elves and Hobbits

In front of his own father Fingolfin

Most importantly in front of Feanor himself.

Yes, Mae said yes. Of course he did, there was a lot of hugging and kissing and crying.

Yes, both Fefe and Golfin wanted to go kinslayer mode on their own offspring, but the assorted cheers from the Hobbits, consequent flower throwing and cousins/siblings joining in shenanigans stopped them.

Well, now the wedding is on. The family starts arguing over EVERYTHING.

From the robes to wear, to the circlets, to the jewelry, to the wedding rings, to the venue, to the food and drinks.

IDK if you have in mind the Reddit posts about the most inane arguments over a wedding. Yep, that's the Finweans.

Russingon NEARLY regret saying anything, plans to just elope are being drawn. That until the happy couple is dragged away from the drama by the Cottons and surrounded by Hobbits who have also dragged Bilbo out of his Hobbit hole for his (granted, very limited) knowledge about Elvish customs.

Mae and Fingon kindly fill in what they remember of their own parents' weddings and indeed the groom&groom's families have to participate somehow.

F&F get threatened on letting THINGOL organize the wedding and they would rather face Morgoth again than let him do ANYTHING for the wedding of their own offspring.

The Hobbits will supply food and drinks and venue, they are adamant about that. And ofc the suits/wedding rings for Russingon. Things are going great.

Curufin gets to build the altar and the decorations together with Feanor, Caranthir is in charge of the budget, Argon, Amras & Amrod are the ones spreading word and invites around the Shire. And ofc EVERYONE is going to show up, it's an (C)EventTM.

Celegorm helps hunting/gathering the beasts for the banquet, Maglor is in charge of the music - he has to be reminded that it is a JOYOUS event tho.

Fingolfin gets dragged away by Thingol and the Gaffer to take care of the flowers. No way they are letting any micromanaging maniac near the happy couple.

I have no idea of what Turgon does, but it's definitely in the "organizing the invitees list and the guestbook" area.

Gandalf supplies the fireworks.

The wedding is a blast, Fefe and Golfin get to bring their sons to the altar. Paladin Took, the Thane, to officiate the wedding.

It's a beautiful spring wedding, at the end of which Russingon get to ride off to their honeymoon into the sunset.

They come back and find a fully built house for them - Curufinwe and Junior had a lot of free time. It's a mix between an Elvish palace and a Hobbit hole. Russingon loves that to bits.

THINGOL AND THE GAFFER

Well. Thingol, amidst the Finwean shenanigans feels a little left out, until he spots the Gaffer tending to his garden. And he gets sad, because he is missing Doriath, he is missing his wife and he is missing everything.

So much loss over a rock.

Well, not even the spite bet done when Feanor fought Lobelia went well. But he knows gardening quite a lot, his wife was a Maia dammit! And the Gaffer is struggling with some sort of invasive species of weed that's killing his roses.

And he's like "my wife was the best, I know a thing or two, may I help?" and the Gaffer is like "yeah sure, I tried everything, the bloody weed keeps appearing, I am out of my wits."

And Thingol manages to draw out whatever power/knowledge he has left and the weed disappears in a couple of weeks. He and the Gaffer bond over gardening and Thingol becomes a lot more chill, but not chill enough to say sorry about the Silmarils.

Thingol loves pipeweed. The gardens in the Shire bloom beautifully and it almost looks like Doriath is there again. He does have to tone it down a few notches to not attract Sauron's servants tho.

Even the Finweans love and appreciate what happened with the gardens. Ofc they would love for him to say sorry about the Silmaril, but that's never gonna happen.

Thingol becomes the (second) best gardener. He lays down his crown for the farmer's hat. Somehow the Gamgees are blessed with everything needed to let nature grow and the strength and resilience needed to last an eternity.

CELEDHEL WEDDING

And well. If the Russingon wedding was not enough to send Feanor and Fingolfin's blood pressures to ungodly levels, now Aredhel and Celegorm arrive in front of them saying that they are getting married.

They both are about to say something when Turgon stands up in all his height and proclaims: "THESE TWO DO NOT NEED YOUR BLESSINGS BECAUSE THEY ALREADY HAVE MINE. i WOULD RATHER HAVE CELEGORM AS IN-LAW, THAN THE WRETCHED ELF WHO DEFILED MY SISTER."

He also adds that maybe having Celegorm as father figure will help Maeglin be less depressed when he gets re-embodied.

The only complaint Celegorm has is that Huan will not be there. When questioned about Huan, he responds that it was the name of his dear dog.

At the word "dog" Old Maggots gets summoned. He is bringing a puppy with him, ofc of the age when puppies can be on their own. He presents the puppy to the Elf. "It ain't magic, or trained yet, but if I lost me dogs I'd be called Mad Maggots! Hope your ladywife loves dogs too!"

And Celegorm looks at the puppy, looks at Old Maggots, picks up the puppy and presents it to Aredhel with teary eyes. "LOOK WE HAVE THE RINGBEARER! I AM ALREADY IN LOVE WITH THIS VERY GOOD BOY!"

And Aredhel looks at them both and sas "aw of course! He's going to be the best boy and ringbearer!"

And they both think it will end there.

Oh how wrong they are. The dog is being named Huan II and Celegorm spends time with him And Aredhel to train him properly, whilst they wait for the second wedding drama to unfold.

Tasks are distributed more or less in the same way as the Russingon wedding, this time however Fingon distracts Maedhros from micromanaging EVERYTHING.

Ofc groom and bride are dressed in Hobbit fashion.

Paladin Took is there to officiate once again.

The banquet however is a RIOT. There is a lot of drinking and dancing, if watching Celegorm and Aredhel stomping happily on the ground can be defined dancing.

It is there that finally Fefe and Golfin find it in their heart to get along. Like, properly get along, no more fighting unless it's petty small stuff and no more insulting each other.

Right before the wedding Namo decides to make Maeglin being re-embodied, he gets picked up by Gandalf, taken to Hobbiton, cue family reunion and being filled with anything happening. At least Maeglin is happy that his mother is actually marrying because she wants to and she is happy.

---

That's what I have so far. I have something cooking for Curufin and Celebrimbor, but I still have to elaborate on that.

[dootznbootz]

As someone who is also really uncomfortable with the Zeus/Odysseus art trend, I completely understand where your coming from!

People’s treatment of Odysseus’s assaults in general makes me really upset. Just the other day I saw a comment on a post saying that “Odysseus wasn’t loyal to his wife yet expects her to be loyal to him” and not once in the replies did I see someone mention that he was literally assaulted. It’s absolutely gross and makes me hesitant to go deeper into the fandom.

I remember being so frustrated when the snippets of “There are Other Ways” came out because so many people were making Hamilton jokes and talking about how he always talks about his wife yet cheated. When in the song it was so clear he was being coerced which is yknow, not a form of consent. I couldn’t even listen to it because it made me so uncomfortable, and even now with the full version out the fandoms reaction to it overall have soured me to it. Which sucks, because I do think it’s a great song.

Also I don’t even think Epic completely erases Calypso’s assault? At least, I think it’s left ambiguous enough during the time jump that people can come to their own conclusions. Specifically when Calypso says “Soon into bed we’ll climb and spend our time” just really gives me the impression that something else happened.

I suppose in the snippets we’ve seen of “I’m Not Sorry For Loving You” it seems like Odysseus and Calypso are on slightly friendlier terms, but I don’t think that negates the fact she could’ve assaulted him. And I’ve always took that song as pretty manipulative on Calypso’s side, with Odysseus more so trying to placate her. But that’s going into theory territory.

And even if he isn’t SA’d in Epic it’s pretty clear he doesn’t want to be there!! Same with Homer’s Odyssey. It’s so infuriating to see the cheating narrative be so widely spread when that is just not what happened.

Anyway’s sorry for the long rant, but I wanted to say that it’s nice to see you take Odysseus’s SA seriously. It’s not something the fandom does enough.

It's okay for the long rant. Sorry I took a bit to get to it but I wanted some "soft chatters" for a bit before I tackled this one :)

"Just the other day I saw a comment on a post saying that “Odysseus wasn’t loyal to his wife yet expects her to be loyal to him” and not once in the replies did I see someone mention that he was literally assaulted. It’s absolutely gross and makes me hesitant to go deeper into the fandom."

I completely understand you with this stuff. ;~; I used to go through Odyssey tags often as I LOVE possibly finding new people to follow and fun things but too many times I would see shit that pissed me off. ;~; I've honestly kind of just stuck to my mutuals that I trust tbh. And honestly, there's soooo much shit of people just straight up not understanding the context/culture/meaning/etc. of the Epics and just taking it at face value and not understanding the meanings. :/ I'm no expert, but I also have analyzed and researched quite a bit on my own to try and get the full picture. I think in order to truly enjoy the Odyssey, you need to just... really soak shit in, you know?

When Calypso, that lovely goddess,  tried                           to keep me with her in her hollow cave, longing for me to become her husband,                                  or when, in the same way, the cunning witch Aeaean Circe held me in her home filled with a keen desire I’d marry her, they never won the heart here in my chest.

(Book 9, Johnston)

Odysseus tells this to the Phaecians. They are strangers that he will likely never see again and who are isolationists. Therefore his story that he told probably won't be "spread" to others so he can probably say whatever. So he doesn't have to worry about "Penelope hearing a different story than the one he told to her" if people wanna argue about how "Oh well, he didn't tell Penelope about the 'affairs'"(He tells her everything as well btw.)

He could literally say "Oh yeah, I had the time of my life!" but he doesn't because that's not true. Odysseus has no listed concubines, I just literally don't see him as the type of guy who's really into that.

And while yes, he would be devastated if she didn't "stay loyal", he does sound like he'd be understanding. He asks his mother in the Underworld if Penelope had gotten remarried to "the finest of Achaeans". And we all know of Odysseus' words of "when Telemachus has a beard, feel free to remarry". Even when first "rejected" by Penelope in that she didn't hug him when he sat across from her, he was incredibly hurt but asked for a separate bed. He literally could have had it where Penelope takes a different bed and he takes their luxurious/fancy one because he has the rest of the household on his side.

But he DOESN'T!

Because he adores her for fuck's sake!

Funny enough? I have the weird reaction of like, weirdly searching out "Good" animatics as it was a weird reassurance of "yes, people see that it's wrong." as while holy fuck. so many stupid, awful jokes about "Say No to This" in the comments (I have learned to just stay the fuck away from youtube comments on Odysseus shit. :') ) but like, seeing and HEARING how yes, this was fucked, was weirdly really nice for me. yeah, it took a lot of digging but there's a few "There Are Other Ways" that I love. Literally, both are unfinished wips and they're still my favorites. If you can, please give these two a watch and some love for the creator.

This was back before we heard the full song and it's still very good. How he's on guard until she "magics" him and the colors change. After that he kind of moves like a "puppet" but he's still resisting as best he can.

This one is literally still sketches but it's my absolute favorite. Oh my word. The body language, PENELOPE FLASHBACKS!!! Showing cute bits of Penelope's character and how awful this is for him. (Penelope is so cute. She puffs up her cheeks to make him laugh!) How he really is scared that he'll have to go through with this in order to save his friends until all his past trauma floods back and he just can't. It's lovely.

And yeah Idk how to feel about "I'm Not Sorry For Loving You" :/ I don't know how it'll be yet, maybe there's something in another song that shows Odysseus' real feelings or whatever.

And with just the whole cheating thing, yeah, it's really upsetting to call what is blatant assault "cheating". As wild as it sounds, Odysseus' story has been more relatable for me than any other stories like this, even modern ones. I've spoken a bit about it before but yeh, victim blaming at its finest. I find him and his story and his love for Penelope slkdfj very relatable. It's honestly really nice to write about in a sense..

(I'm pasting this from an old post of mine but yeh)

I have never had a story that felt like how it actually FEELS. The "aftermath" and "regaining life". It's hopeful and feels really good. It's been years since "everything" but it just felt nice to see "Everybody has the chance to get better." Even Nestor, Helen, and Menelaus, while still dealing with their traumas, are doing a lot better now. And after literal hell, Odysseus got to be with his family and loved ones again. He can start living again. It's why I'm just...idk passionate about this? I'm not a murderer or a war veteran but I see myself in him. Hopefully, y'all see me as nicer though!😂(plus, let's be honest, the Odyssey is romantic af and OdyPen is right up my alley as well >:D )

I really hate the whole "he's a guy so therefore ____" whether it's used as a "Boys will be boys. they can't help themselves" usually aimed at female victims or a "Men always want sex. they cannot be victims.". It's fucked up and used against ALL of us. :( Doesn't matter if it was history. People, no matter the era, should never be put through "Are you Victim™ enough?". He is one.

Idk the Odyssey means a lot to me. I hope it's okay I take some liberties with my fanfics as it's nice healing through him :D I AM kind of using my own experiences and ideas and it feels nice. I don't think Homer necessarily meant for this but eh, anything that helps is good :D He's a war criminal that I relate to.

[expresso-bean]

(EXTRA) The Man Out of Time [A ShadAmy and Silver Story]: Answers

Pairing: Shadow the Hedgehog x Amy Rose

Description: It has been seven years of peace following the grueling war with Eggman and his army. Though it took time to rebuild what they have lost, life for the Freedom Fighters could not be better. Whether it's finding love or trying to run from their past, celebrating post-war times has been different for each of them.

All is well until a silver hedgehog comes knocking on Amy Rose's door to deliver the tragic news about an incredible force that seems to be the cause of the future's destruction.

Will anyone believe the mysterious hedgehog's cry for help? Or will he be left to fight for his future alone? Read to find out!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 13.3k

POV: Third Person

Context: Future!Silver's Timeline

!! I do not own any of the art/gifs/borders used in my chapters. All credits to the rightful owners !!

Masterlist ✦ Memories

'Mental M.S. Log Entry 4703: It's been SEVERAL days since the failure of Trail #13, and I'm starting to lose a bit of hope. Although I don't want to give up, I'm beginning to wonder...'

Silver set his empty glass of chocolate milk aside. The glass was still sticky with syrup since he didn't mix it all correctly. He stared it for a moment before continuing with his log entry.

'Aside from that, the side-effects from this trail are somehow worse than the other previous jumps. Could this be because of what happened?'

Silver held his stomach uncomfortably. He felt as if something inside of him would burst. It was normal after a time jump. Despite all the trials he has endured, he never gets used to the after-effects.

Brain fog, jitteriness, nausea, static-like body, fatigue.

The symptoms mostly meant he couldn't eat anything for the next 12 hours unless he wanted to get extremely ill. Liquids, mostly chocolate milk, would sustain him until tomorrow morning. He would be in the bathroom until the next day if he ate any solids.

'This isn't working. What if it never works? What if something worse happens? If I try again, and I can't find a way out, what will happen to me? More importantly, what will happen to this timeline?'

To say he was feeling defeated was an understatement. Silver was a complete mess. Trial #13 was supposed to be the breakthrough trial. However, a last-minute malfunction almost cost Silver his life.

What he saw left him slightly shaken, but he couldn't admit that. Not even to himself.

'What even was that place?'

'KNOCK. KNOCK'

"Son!? Have you returned already?"

'Oh! End Log Entry!'

Silver rushed to open the door, not even realizing he had locked it upon his return. Standing behind the door, ready to embrace Silver, was his father, Shadow.

"Father! I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had closed the doo-," Before Silver could finish his sentence, his father hugged him tightly. Silver melted slightly into his father's arms and whisper a quiet "hey."

"You're home," His father sighed with relief. He shakily pet Silver's quills and sighed before tugging him closer to him. It was difficult to rest his head anywhere since Silver was an inch or so taller than him. "I'm glad you made it back safe, my son."

He could hear the relief in his voice and the nervous shake in his touch. It was familiar to him. He did this each time Silver returned home safely from a trial.

"Wait," Silver pushed his father away to look at him for a second. His father smiled as big as he could and nodded for Silver to continue speaking. "how did you know I was here?"

"You left the chocolate syrup out."

"Oh."

Silver let go of his father to scratch the back of his neck. Then, he was able to get a good look at him.

His father hasn't changed much since he was little. The most was a couple of new scars on his body now and again. But he's always had the same two thick scars on his left shoulder and a thin, almost faded scar on his right eye that nearly left him blind if it weren't for Tail's astounding technology.

There were no new marks on his father. The only thing that stood out was his empty, tired eyes that forever had sadness embedded within them.

'Another hard battle no doubt,' Silver contemplated for a second, unsure of what to say next. 'If I don't say it now, I won't ever.'

"Father," Silver bit his lip, and Shadow looked at him, waiting for him to continue speaking. Silver was nervous, but if he didn't ask now, he would never get another chance to. "Do you still think this could work?"

"It has to. There's no other way."

Silver was taken aback by his father's bluntness. His words were so fast and cold, almost like they were rehearsed. Silver felt that his father was preparing for this question, and the fact he already had an answer ready to tell him bothered him slightly.

'Is this going to be like all those other questions? Where he gives me vague answers and refuses to tell me the whole truth? He expects me to risk my life for this cause, and still, he wants to keep secrets.'

"But-," Silver stopped himself. He knew what he wanted to say, but fear prevented him from uttering another word. Frustrated, he sighed and muttered a quiet "never mind" under his breath.

"No, don't say never mind," His father interjected. "What's troubling you? You can speak to me about anything, you know this."

"I know," Silver tried not to groan or seem ticked as he knew his father would see that as a sign of disrespect. He knew his father would pay extreme mind to him if he acted rudely. His father was always respectful to him, and even when he wasn't, he apologized and communicated what was bothering him. It was something that Silver had a hard time replicating. "but I'll be alright. I don't need to talk about it."

"It pains me that you don't trust me enough to tell me what's wrong." Shadow tried to look into Silver's amber eyes, but his son refused to look at him. "I will always be here for you. As your father, you ne-"

"I'm scared, okay!? I'm scared! You want me to risk my life and the fact you're still hiding things bothers me! You tell me to trust you, but you why won't you trust me, your own son!" Silver paused to take a breath. He didn't bother to look at his father's face as he attempted to collect himself again. "I didn't get to meet them, and I know that isn't my fault, but you have no right to keep so much from me."

"So-, Silver. You should have told me."

Silver couldn't respond. He only stared at his father silently. There was a deep sense of shame in what Silver had to say. He wanted to take the words back, to frame them differently. But he was sick of keeping it all in. There was no other option but to allow the emotions to burst out.

'How could I? You go through enough already. I don't need you to have to take on my emotional burdens when you still hold your fair share.'

"I'm going to go clear my head for a bit," Silver looked away from his father and darted towards his bedroom door. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

His father stood before him for a second, eying him into submission as his arms crossed over his pumped-out chest. Silver quickly got the message, lowered his body, and stepped back as a sign of respect. He could tell his father wasn't angry with him, but he didn't like that Silver was being emotional and not communicating why.

"We don't part ways while angry, son."

"I'm not angry, I'm overwhelmed!" Silver gritted his teeth, not wanting to cry or embarrass himself further. "I promise I'll tell you later, but I need some time to think, please."

His father looked reluctant at first but gave in and let Silver pass. He was timid as he brushed passed his father and entered the kitchen.

'I'll apologize later, but I need to know how to make this time watch work. If he really wants me to go and fix everything, I need to know how. And even more about this whole time thing.'

His father uttered nothing as Silver rushed out of the room and darted towards the door. Before leaving, he took the pair of black and red keys off the table.

A part of Silver wanted to leave without saying anything to his father. But that would again come off as disrespectful to him. He wanted to avoid as much conflict with his father as he could.

'Hm. I don't want to tell him where I'm going.'

Silver jiggled the keys in his hands as a signal that he would be leaving. His father stared at him blankly, waiting for Silver to say something to him. He sighed, nodded, and waved him off, permitting him to go wherever pleased.

"You may go, just be careful, and come back when you can. And please-"

"I know, father. I just need some time to myself."

Silver quickly gathered himself and left. Silver could feel his father's eyes on him and even caught the quiet "goodbye," his father sent his way when he walked out the door and shut it quietly to mask his emotional state.

Silver eyed his father's signature red and black motorcycle. He has only used it a handful of times, mostly because his father constantly uses it to get around. Not that he can't run, but his Uncle Tails modified it to be a stealth tool. It's completely silent while riding it and has a feature that allows you to blend the rider and the bike into the surrounding area.

'I need to make this quick. Knowing my father, he is probably waiting for me to get home.'

Silver hopped on the bike, adjusting his body and hands to fit the bike. The ignition softly roared at him, and after shifting the hand bar twice, he took off towards his uncle's old lab.

'I need to look for notes, blueprints, or a manual maybe. There must be something I'm not getting right. Why else is this not working?'

Luckily, the roads were empty, which was expected since there weren't many people around this area. People avoid this place like the plague. It was where the first attack was, after all. Silver couldn't blame anyone. He would want to get out of this area too. But his father refuses to leave. Everyone has their reasons; he only wishes to know why his father continues to live in a place where most of his friends are buried.

'I wonder what they were like... If it all goes well, I get to meet them, right?' Silver eyes widened a bit at the thought. His father had told him the plan thousands of times, but he still gets anxious about meeting her. 'I wonder what Mom will say. When she sees me. If anything, I'm more worried about what I will say. I have so much to ask her... and so little time to do all of it.'

Silver let out a shaky breath. He only knew his mother through the questions he would ask his father. But now he will get the chance to meet her. Really MEET her. He gets a bit overwhelmed whenever he thinks about it.

'I'm going to crash if I don't start paying attention to the road...'

There wasn't a single thought in Silver's mind when he pulled up to the old laboratory. A broken, decaying red plane was still parked in the driveway. The lab itself was still in good enough condition other than the door being slashed open.

'It looks like someone broke in. But then why would the plane still be there? There are plenty of valuable parts still on it even if it is a bit run down.'

Silver carefully hopped off the bike. He looked around the landscape of where he was at. There wasn't a soul in sight. Just miles of dirt and the ever-so-often tree.

'I should get inside. I don't want to call attention to myself.'

Upon opening the heavy and slashed door, a flood of memories came rushing back to him.

'So much happened here. I spend some of my best days here with Uncle Tails and Aunt Cream,' Silver pushed the bike inside and took the keys out and  shoved it into his pocket. Silver took a moment to look around for a second. 'I've only come back here a handful of times with my father, but I've never dared to come here alone. Not since that day. Still, it hasn't changed much.'

Silver didn't bother to look for a light switch. Tail's workshop had been abandoned for years. The natural light inside the lab was barely enough for Silver to see properly, but he was willing to work with what he was given.

'Where do I even begin?'

Silver squatted down near a metal desk and began rummaging through the drawers. There were folders upon folders of notes, but none related to the time device.

He continued to search on the desk and found nothing but tools he didn't know how to use and blueprints for devices that never got the chance to be made.

'This is interesting... but still not what I'm looking for.'

Silver got up and placed his left hand softly over his mouth.

"Uncle Tails, where'd you hide everything?"

Silver slowly got up and leaned against the cold, metal table. He let his right arm hang loose as he ruffled his brows to try and think of where more he could search.

'I don't know what I'm looking for,' Silver softly groaned in frustration. 'Uncle Tails... you were the only one who knew... why did you have to leave everyone so soon?'

'SNATCH!'

Silver shivered as the cool metal was ripped away from his wrist. Panicked, Silver swished his arms around into the open air around him but couldn't feel anything or anyone.

"Hey! What was that?" Silver looked around. There wasn't a single dim corner in the shed. He would have known if there was someone in there with him. "Give that back!"

"The time device."

A sultry, deep voice echoed through the workshop. Silver jumped a bit, freaked out by the mysterious voice. He looked around the room, and still, he couldn't see anyone in there with them.

"That means the stone was real," Silver couldn't recognize the voice. It ticked him off since his sense of control over the situation was at a minimum. "Where did you obtain this?"

"I'm not going to give out information like that to just anyone.  I don't even know who you are!"

Something  moved from the wall opposite him. It was faint, but he could barely make out the unstructured outline of a figure in the dim room. When the outline moved again, Silver stepped to try and get away from it. 

'What the? What is that?'

The outline glowed  purple and  covered the being's body and revealed... someone. Their skin was fuchsia with a peach body. Where a nose would be, there was a broken yellow horn, the same yellow as his barren eyes framed with black. He wasn't wearing much gear. Just some tattered purple and black shoes and white gloves with beige bandages wrapped at the end to keep them from slipping off.

'He's too small to be a rhino... and too big to be a beetle... what is he?'

Silver kept staring at the person in front of him, who had a hard time maintaining eye contact with him. Silver sensed a bit of fear from him, but he couldn't have any sympathy for someone who stole that precious device of his.

"Who are you?"

He stepped away from Silver for a second, carefully clutching the device in his hands. Silver put his hand out gently, and he noticed the man untensed his body, and although his nerves were calm, it wasn't enough to return the watch.

"My name is not important," The man spoke. "I would have remembered it if it was."

"Oh," Silver blurted out. He shook his head and then continued. "I'm sorry you can't remember."

'This is awkward. I want to help him, but I have to get the time to watch back.'

"You said 'he' earlier. Did you know my uncle Tails?"

The man tried to think, his forehead wrinkled while trying to recognize if the name rang any bells. He shook his head and looked at the watch closely before flipping it over. He took a second to read the lettering on the back. Still, even long after reading it, he stood still.

'What is he doing?'

He walked up to Silver and grabbed him by the wrist. He clipped the device back on.

"I know that name. That person is deceased. I do not remember him as you do, but I cannot take this. This is yours now."

'Mine? If uncle Tails isn't the 'he' this guy was talking about, then who is?'

"You never answered my question," The man looked at him, confused. Silver thought about each out touching his shoulder, but doing that might staler him, so he decided to smile at him softly. "Did you know my uncle Tails?"

"He was murdered. I feel like I should know who he is," The man gripped his head with a shaky hand. "But I do not."

"It's okay, um, let me see if this helps. His name was Tails. Tails the Fox? This was his lab and he liked to make gadgets and planes. Uh, he made a lot of devices, like this watch. He was friends with Sonic the Hedgehog and married Cream the Rabbit. Does that help at all?"

"Tails. Sonic. Cream," Silver looked at him, anticipating what he had to say. "There were several of you. But, no, they are not the ones I search for. He wasn't the one who proposed the idea of the Time Stone."

'He remembers several of them. That's progress! Who does he remember though?'

"You are different. You were not there when it happened." The man walked over to him and looked him up and down. Silver tensed when he gripped his waist and patted him down along his frame. His face turned hot and he tried to look away to hide his embarrassment. "No, you're too young. You could not have even been alive then."

"Y-yeah, I-I don't remember you either," Silver stepped away from him and cleared his throat. He took a breath to try and relax. He didn't want to embarrass himself further. "I-I wouldn't worry about it. I don't remember a lot of them either. But I know what group you are talking about, at least, I think I do."

"You do?"

"I think so? There were several groups, at least, according to my father,"

'I know their names. Rouge the Bat, Knuckles the Echidna, Sally Acorn, and Vector the Crocodile, but nothing about who they were or what they did in their life. Everyone kept me in the dark. And he doesn't remember either. We'll need to help each other if we want to reveal the truth.'

"You said you didn't remember Sonic, Cream, or Tails. Does Amy or Shadow ring a bell?"

The man's eyes practically lit up. Silver could tell he had recalled something.

"Shadow! I need to speak with Shadow!" He gripped Silver's shoulders,  scaring him a bit. "Do you know where I could find him?"

"You remember! That's great!" Silver smiled, happy he was able to make a bit more progress with the man. "Yeah, I know him. He's my father after all."

The man looked confused, at tilted his head.

"Father?" The man seemed surprised. Silver couldn't blame him. According to his aunt, Shadow wasn't known to be the 'lovers' type. "You're his son?"

"The one and only," Silver stepped away from the man and looked himself over, trying to find a feature that would relate to his father, but realized there was really nothing they physically had in common. "I don't look like either of my parents, so, I understand the confusion."

'I also wonder how black, red, and pink made silver...eh, maybe a relative on my mother's side.'

"But, you remember my father, correct?" Some hope fluttered in Silver's chest seeing the man nod his head. "My mother was also a great fighter, just like him. Her name was Amy, Amy rose. Do you remember her at all?"

Silver looked a bit hopeful. He longed to hear about his mother, to learn as much as he can about her. She lives through the stories of his family. He wants more of her memory; that's all he could ever ask for.

"Amy Rose," The man thought about it again. Silver felt that the name sounded familiar, but it seemed that the man couldn't come up with anything. "I'm sorry, I do not."

"It's okay, I don't either. I never really go to meet her."

"That must... be difficult."

"Sometimes."

Silver stretched out the word awkwardly, trying to mask the sadness. 'Difficult' was an understatement. Even if he wanted to get into how he felt, he wouldn't know where to begin. There are so many emotions, too many questions, and way too many thoughts that he could write a book about it. But even that wouldn't be enough. He'd run out of pages and ink.

"I can empathize with how you feel. Though I should know these names, it's as if I have never met them. It's a lonely feeling. I fault myself for not being able to understand."

The man tensed his fists until his arms were bulging from emotion. He looked panicked. Silver knew he had to do something before he had a panic attack. That or something worse.

"Hey, no, don't do that," Silver grabbed his hand in his and laid his other hand atop his. "None of this is your fault. You didn't ask to be this way."

The man didn't say anything. Silver could feel his blood warm through the gloves. It was the heat of humiliation.

'Should I ask him? Does he blame himself because he knows, or because he doesn't?'

"You don't happen to remember how you lost them, do you?"

The man looked down in shame. Silver's intuition was correct; he didn't know how he lost his memories.

"My mind is a puzzle I cannot fix. A piece appears every now and again, but I have no idea how to arrange it, or where it should even go, or if it is even real or not," The man scoffed at himself, probably frustrated with his own scattered mind. "I wonder if the memories are worth uncovering. Perhaps it is trying to protect me. But I supposed I'll never know."

'He looks sad...' Silver looked around the room for a bit. He understood the man more than ever. The man longs to remember, while Silver wishes to attain unspoken memories. There is something admirable about that. 'My father knows about him, he must know what happened.'

"If you want to remember," Silver nodded toward the man. "Then I'm going to help you get your memories back. You said you knew my father, right?"

"I believe so."

"If there is anyone who could help you, it's him. He knows... he knows a lot of things. He probably knows what happened to you," The man's mouth pursed. It was difficult to explain what the man may be thinking, but Silver could tell he was in pain. The mention of how he lost his memories makes him tense. His mind doesn't remember, but his body certainly does. "I would take you back to the house, but you don't fit on my bike. Just say here, I'll be back for you."

"He'll be here?"

"Yes, he'll be here. I promise."

"Okay," The man took a breath, almost as if he were worried about something and trying to reassure himself. "Just, come back. Even if it isn't with him."

"Hey," Silver placed an arm on his shoulder, ensuring eye contact. "I promise, I'll come back for you. No matter what."

"Mhm."

Silver nodded at him and let go of his hands. The man clutched his fists and backed away slightly.

"Just hang out here. And hide if you see them pass by,"

Silver could feel the fear in that man's soul. He didn't even have to say their names. He knew who they were. Everyone knew who they were.

'He knows about Ace and Anti. I wonder if that's how he lost his memories. He doesn't remember them, but he has to have fought alongside them if he remembers my father and time device.'

"I'm off. I'll be back as soon as I can."

The man didn't look back at him. He had the same expression as he did when he wanted to remember something but couldn't.

'"Please be careful. I need your help more than you know.'"

"I will, don't worry about me."

The man looked at Silver, confused.

"I-I did not speak?"

Silver simply blinked at him.

"Huh?"

The man looked away and waved him off. Silver blushed as he quickly left the garage with his bike in tow. He could tell the man didn't want him lingering around him anymore, and truthfully, he needed to get back to his father before he worried him more than he already has.

'He spoke to me. I swear I heard him,' Silver fished the keys out of his jacket pocket and hopped on the bike. The road in front of him was vast. Just as he expected it to be. 'I must be hearing things. Maybe I'm stressed, or crazy, or something... Ugh, what's crazy is that I'm hearing voices in my head.'

It wasn't the first time Silver had heard voices. When he was little, he could swear he heard his father talking. But whenever he asked about it, he would deny ever speaking. As he grows older, it is harder to ignore. He hears the voice clearly, like they are within his mind. But he never hears an echo or vibration in the area around him.

'Maybe I am crazy. Psychological stress maybe? I did grow up in a war zone. It wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility.'

Silver began his journey back to his house. He picked up the pace a bit, going fast enough to not draw too much attention to himself. 

'Why would you come by the lab if you don't remember the person who lives there?' He tried to focus on the road, but a thought kept nagging him. 'He remembers my father, that's a given. But why the lab? Unless he was after the device and just hoped my father would be there.'

Silver bit his lip. He wasn't sure what to make of the situation. He sympathized with the man as he knows the struggle of wanting to connect with people he doesn't know. The man could have easily hurt him, or worse. Yet, he didn't. He seemed to have no mal intentions. He could have killed him from the beginning. He could have taken the time device and ran. He could have turned him in and sold him for profit.

'But he didn't. He's looking for my father for a reason, and I'm going to help him figure out why.'

Silver was quick to park the bike in front of his house. Still being careful enough so that it wouldn't fall or tip over. He ran up to the door and opened it, hoping to see his father waiting for him. Luckily, he was. He was resting at the table with his eyes closed, his arms crossed around his chest, and his head tilted backward.

"Father!"

His father jolted up and looked at Silver, who most likely looked like a sweaty maniac by now.

"Son, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"No, I'm okay, I'm fine, but needed to ask you something!"

Silver was so out of breath that he took a pause. He wanted to spill out his sentences as fast as he could, but his body didn't let him say everything he wanted to.

"Calm down, you're worrying me."

"No! I'm honestly okay!" Silver took one more breath before speaking again. "I need your help. I met someone, someone really cool, I think! He knows about Anti, Ace, the time device, EVERYTHING! I have a picture of him, do you think you can identify him?"

"I suppose? What did he look like?" Silver pressed a couple of buttons on his wristband, and an image of a mysterious fuchsia man appeared in a small projection above his wrist. He was glad he snuck in a scan of the man when he did. "Espio,"

'Espio. At least I can give him a name now. What does he have to do with me traveling through time?'

"I haven't seen Espio since I found the stone."

"You do know him! I knew it! You are the only person he seems to remember!" Silver laughed in relief and shut off the projection. "He's looking for you."

"He is?"

"Yes, and I want to know why."

His father looked somber while staring at the projection. The same look of guilt on his face when he talked about his deceased friends.

'Something happened. He knows why Espio can't remember things. Are you going to hide things from me, or are you going to tell me what happened?'

Silver took a seat down in front of his father. He followed suit and sat back down in the chair he was dozing off in minutes before.

"Espio the Chameleon. I've known him long before the war even started. He was an old friend of Sonic. He was truly a good man of his time. He was among the first to help us back when this war began. He was as smart as he was skilled," Shadow paused for a second. Which meant he was measuring the words he wanted to say. Meaning that he was looking to hide more information from Silver. "However, that made him a threat to Ace and Anti. You know what they like to do with people they deem threats."

'A chameleon, huh? That explains the horn.'

"A threat," Silver paused for a second. He's only known Espio for less than an hour, yet, he could tell he had a fighter's spirit in him. Silver couldn't even sense him back in the lab. And when he expressed distress over the Time Device, he gave it back with zero hesitation. He came back for a reason, a noble one, no doubt. But that doesn't explain why they would go after Espio specifically when there were other fighters like Sonic and his father. "What would Ace and Anti want with Espio? Is that why he can't remember anything?"

"You already know about Ace's abilities, and when they figured out how could manipulate hordes of people to fight her battles for her, Espio was her first target," Shadow took another pause. Silver wanted to roll his eyes. Was he trying to hide information again, or was it because it hurt to remember? Silver liked to think I was both, but unfortunately, his father would never tell him. "Extreme intelligence and strength were exactly what she needed to help her manage her army. She got into his mind and searched for his weakness. When it got down between letting the love of his life live or giving himself to Ace, he choose to sacrifice himself."

'Why did I expect anything less from Ace. Espio doesn't seems like the type of person to give himself up. What did she do to him?'

"Did those monsters kill them anyways?"

"No, Mighty is still alive. I lost track of him years ago."

'That's a first. Maybe she needed alive in case Espio got out of line.'

"Wait, so if Espio chose to give into them, how is he still alive? And how does he know about the time device?"

"Espio promised Mighty he would find him again. The one thing you should know about Espio is he puts honor above all else. He told Mighty he would find him again, but he needed to escape Ace and Anti if he wanted to do that."

"Hm," Silver was impressed. Not only did he endure Ace and Anti for years, he escaped, and then went on to keep living. Be it with no memories but alive, no doubt. "He's the luckiest, most unlucky, guy around."

"That poor soul," Shadow uncrossed his arms from his chest and relaxingly crossed them on the tabletop. He leaned his body forward, maintaining his posture as he did so. "Espio fought hard to gain his control back. Fighting against an old friend like him is complex. But even forcing my hand against him, it felt like fighting a cheap imitation."

"Do you think he still remembered you?"

"I would like to believe so. but no one can be sure. What I am certain of is how, through all of the battles and agony, he was determined to gain control over his mind. It could be why he was not fighting to his full potential."

'I knew it. That explains his reactions and how he remembers to fight and remain stealthy. His mind might have forgotten, but his body still remembers.'

"How long did he stay like that?"

"Years, too many years," Shadow sighed, looking down at the table. "It broke his mind. Completely shattered his psyche. When he regained some sense of control, he came looking for me, but by then, it was far too late. Tails was gone. He didn't know who he had lost, but he still grieved upon hearing the news,"

'He didn't remember who he was. If it eats at him now, I can't believe how he must have felt then.'

"Espio, most likely, doesn't remember it, but I certainly do. He knew he had a mission, but he will never know what it was."

'...He knew about the time stone. He only remembers my father. Could it be that it actually... Espio's idea?'

"Father," Silver paused. Did he really want to know the answer? Not that it would change anything; he was worried that his father wouldn't bother to tell him the answer. He never specifically said it was Tails' idea; it was mostly just assumed. But could it be that Espio figured out how to travel back in time, and Ace found out about it? Was that the real reason he was targeted? "Whose idea was it to travel back in time?"

Shadow seemed a bit taken aback by the question. Like physically taken aback. Silver didn't realize it was that serious of a question.

'Is he actually going to tell me something important?'

"Dr. Robotnik would talk about the time stone as many times as he talked about the chaos emeralds. He believed if he got his hand on that stone, he could bring back Maria,"

'It was his idea?! Why would he hide something like this from me?'

"I thought it was nothing but a myth of an insane man gripping at straws to escape his own grief. I called him a loon for searching for a stone that might not even be real," Shadow laughed bitterly at his words. Silver could sense the sadness in his father. He was undoubtedly going to talk about his mother next. "I understand him now more than ever. I too followed him and did whatever possible to bring back someone I loved dearly. The difference is I found the stone. I was prepared to bring back your mother, to fix this war. Even if it killed me,"

'But, what does Espio have to do with this?'

"Eventually, I confided in Tails to set the device up for me. He believed me to be too reckless to send me back. So, I had to make the choice to send someone else."

Then, it hit Silver. Clear as day, he knew why Espio was at the lab. There was no other reason.

"It was supposed to be him, wasn't it?" Silver asked slight annoyance in his voice. "You wanted him to do this, not me."

"I never wanted you to be a part of this, any of this," Shadow shook his head and leaned forward in his chair. "You were still an infant when I mentioned the time stone, and still a toddler when I found it. How was I supposed to send you off to fight for a future when you barely understood the world you were living in?"

"So that's it? I was nothing but a replacement to you?" Shadow looked offended and gave him a look to calm down. But Silver was feeling hurt, and he refused to keep his mouth shut any longer. "I thought YOU choose me. I thought I was special to you. But no, it turns out I was just the second choice. You expect me to risk never seeing you again for a job you NEVER wanted me to do?"

"That is not what I said, you know-"

"No! I don't know, DAD. You never want to tell me anything! It's always something. 'I can't tell you that Silver', 'You'll find out later Silver', 'You understand, right Silver?'. Well, no! I don't understand. Because you never want to explain ANYTHING to me."

"I tell you plenty! I say what I must to maintain order," Shadow sighed, hating the way his voice raised at Silver. But Silver kept staring at him in silence, waiting for him. "I did not want you to fight in this war. I never wanted this life for you. I chose Espio to protect you from all this. But now you are a part of it, I have to hide some things to preserve both the past and future. You need to respect that."

"The more you hide from me, the less I trust you! I would have known this if you had just told me! Now I look like an idiot because we don't communicate!" Silver felt a rush of heat form on his face. He didn't know how to phrase it, his words. They wanted to rush out and get the conversation over with. But he still had so much to say. He needed to preserve his dignity and stand up for his feelings without an apology. "What was the plan for me? To stand around in an empty wasteland forever without knowing about mom? Or what happened to her friends? To wait around and die? No, I'm not doing that! I'm going to help this future, and I don't care that you never wanted me to!"

"You listen to me. All of that is far from the truth and you know it. Tails wanted you to do this job. He designed the watch for you. He wanted to train you. He sacrificed EVERYTHING for you. I never want to hear you say that you were second fiddle. You were never that to him."

"I know what I was to him, I never doubt that Uncle Tails loved me dearly, almost like a son. But not to you. I was second choice to you," Silver eyes filled with hot tears. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. Not in front of his father. And not at a moment like this. "I bet you never even wanted me."

"Silver, do not EVER say that I did not want you. I love you, I loved you even before I saw you. Your mother and you were my world, my pride, my love. That never changed when she passed away. You are my son. Mine alone. You are what I live for; the same goes for your mother."

"Why should I listen to you? I'm starting to think all of this lying is to protect yourself rather than me," Silver squinted his eyes, and he saw Shadow hesitate for a second, and it suddenly clicked for him. "This was to save her, right?"

"Silver, that isn-"

"That's why uncle Tails couldn't trust to send you back. You were too reckless to go back on your own."

"If all you are going to do is assume I will not participate in whatever conversation you think you are having with me."

"This wasn't about stopping them at all. You wanted to save her," Silver felt his eyes water. He looked over at his father. He hadn't noticed he had been crying. "What did Mom die from again?"

"I am done talking about this," Shadow stood up from his chair, making it squeak loudly. "Go to your room Silver. That is an order."

"Well, that's you. I for one am not done talking. I-"

Shadow slammed his hands on the table, demanding Silver's attention. Silver didn't flinch as his father's eyes glowed with anger. Rather, Silver squinted, letting his father know he wasn't scared of him.

"Go. To. Your. Room." Shadow's voice seethed with frustration. Silver didn't care. He wasn't scared of his father. He respected him, but Silver knew he wouldn't lay a hand on him. "Before I make you."

"I was just leaving."

Silver shoved his fists in his pocket, feeling around the empty space for the keys to the bike outside.

'I made a promise to Espio. I will go back to him. Although, my father is choosing not to join us. At least I can tell him what my father knows about him. I hope Espio will understand.'

"Silver, do not go outside this house!"

"Too bad!"

Silver slammed the door behind him. He heard nothing as he rushed to the bike. He quickly turned it on and took off without looking back. He just wanted to forget everything he said to his father. He doubted his father even cared about what he had to say.

'I am not going to let him play me for a fool like this! He wants to do all of this to get her back, not because of me,' Silver blinked away some of his tears. He didn't want to ride the bike with tears in his eyes. He's done that before and it didn't solve his problems. It left his eyes puffy, sore, and dry. He wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. 'What does that do to me? Does he love me for being me? Or because I am the last thing she left behind?'

"WOAH!"

'What the hell was that!' Silver squinted his eyes and focused on the figure in the mirror. His breath hitched. He knew that black and red frame anywhere. 'Is that-?'

"SILVER IF YOU DON'T PULL OVER RIGHT THIS INSTANCE I WILL-"

'He'll what? He wouldn't hurt me... right?'

"NO! I'M GOING TO TALK TO ESPIO!"

Silver yelled at the image of his father from the mirror, which was becoming a bit closer with each word he spoke. Silver could feel the heat of fear grow on his face. He knew what he was doing was wrong.

'I made a promise. I'm not going to hold off on it because of him!'

Silver turned the handle and placed the bike to maximum speed. He didn't have time to conceal the vehicle, not that it would do him any good anyway. His father was already hot on his trail.

"AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME."

Silver did a hard turn. In his mirror, he could still see his father trailing behind him. His eyes squinted from the harsh winds and he began to regret not putting on some glasses before his plan.

'I got to lose him. And fast,'

The longer stared at his father's figure, he almost gasped at what he noticed. His father was sporting his house slippers rather than his rocket shoes.

'Wait,' Silver looked toward the road ahead and rolled his shoulders back to relax. 'Although I'm impressed, I still might be able to lose him.'

"SILVER I-"

What Shadow was about to say was out of earshot. Silver slammed his foot on the gas. The way the tired ripped beneath the dirt road made him cringe. It was too loud for his liking, and a sense of dread warmed his body. He understood the risk he took, but the last he heard of Ace and Anti, they were far away from this part of the city.

'I'll add that to the list of things I'll be getting an earful for tonight.'

Silver slammed on the brakes next. He held onto the handles for dear life as the bike stopped. His bottom lifted off the seat briefly before he regained his balance.

"Eek!"

'I hope no one saw that. That was embarrassing.' Silver felt a sense of relief when he turned around and saw a vast field of nothing and no one. It wasn't to say his father was not on his way to get him, but that he still had a chance to make sure Espio knew he stuck to his promise. 'I'm done hiding how upset this makes me. I know what will happen once I fix everything. Before it ends, I want to know as much as I can.'

"Shadow?"

"No," Silver quickly closed the garage door behind him. Thought the lights didn't work, the afternoon sunlight lit up the room through the slashes in the door. "it's Silver again, remember?"

"Yes," He nodded. Silver noticed he was in sitting right in the same place he had left him, as if he hadn't  moved a muscle in the entire time he was gone. "you were just here, weren't you?"

"Sure was," Silver felt a sense of relief go to his face as he smiled. "So, I told my father about you!"

"Really?" 

"Yes, really!"

Silver nearly took a step back when Espio stood up. The chameleon breathed out an airy chuckle of relief. What surprised him the most was his smile. It was bright and soft as the sun hitting his face. He was so deep in his emotion he his hand to his cheek and clawed at the corner of his mouth. 

'I guess he couldn't believe it either. I don't blame him.' 

Silver's guilt didn't even let him crack a smirk. He was so nervous about his father bursting through the door at any moment he could only stand there in fear. 

'What will I even say to him? It isn't like he isn't coming.'

"What did he say about me?"

"So what I found out wa-"

'BANG! BANG! BANG!'

"I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE SILVER! OPEN THIS DOOR OR SO HELP ME I WILL BUST IT OPEN!"

"Is that Shadow?" Silver quietly nodded. "Is he... okay?"

"Nope," Silver turned around timidly. He could make out his father in between the slashed metal. Luck would have it that his father didn't notice Silver looking right at him. "but I don't want you to know what will happen if I don't open that door myself. You don't mind, do you?"

"I am not equipped for this."

Silver sighed, not knowing why he even asked. Espio hadn't seen Shadow in years. The last thing he would want to see from his long-time friend is his angry face because of a mistake his son did.

"Right," Silver exhaled sharply. He was so nervous he couldn't open the door himself. "I'll just get the door."

He reached out his hand and a blue mist illuminated around the door. He moved his hand up slightly, and the door followed suit, making a loud screech echo through the room. Shadow stood there with his arm crossed watching Silver with an unamused look on his face. Silver let go of the door and stepped aside as his father walked in to stand in front of him. He noticed as his father's chest rose and fell and wondered if it was from how angry he was or from being out of breath getting there. 

'Just say something. He isn't going to hurt you or anything.'

"F-father. Hi."

For how Shadow was yelling at him earlier, Silver expected him to scream at him from the moment he opened the door. Yet, he didn't. In actuality, Silver noticed his father was unusually calm.

'He's... quiet.'

Shadow was standing at the doorway in silence. His arms were crossed, and his eyes were shut forcibly, undoubtedly from all the pent-up emotion within him.

'Too quiet,' Silver started at his father, waiting for him to say something to him, anything at least. 'he's scaring me a bit.'

Silver noticed his father wasn't acting as he usually was when upset. His foot wasn't tapping, nor was he looking at Silver. Silver's shoulders tensed up slightly when he realized the position he had put himself in.

'Oh shit. He's livid.'

"Silver. I am very, very, VERY upset with you. And I will not yell at you in front of company. But I am sure you know what we will discuss later at home."

'There it is,' Silver held in a sigh. One part of him knew it was his own doing that his father was so upset. The other part, however, still blamed his father. 'If he had just talked to me more, none of this would have happened!'

"Yes, father, but before we do," Shadow looked unimpressed as he opened his eyes just to glare at Silver. "I stand by everything I said."

"Not now Silver," Shadow groaned as he turned around toward Espio. For a moment, he forgot the chameleon was witnessing the entire interaction between him and his father. He would have been embarrassed, but he was too busy looking at the reunion between the two. His heart melted at Espio's reaction when Shadow walked toward him. The way his eyes were widened Silver would have thought the other was looking at one of the world's wonders. "Espio. It's been some time."

"Shadow. I-I remember you," Espio looked Shadow in the eye before bowing to him like royalty. His father wasn't bluffing when he said Espio was a man of honor and respect. "I remember what I had to do."

"My old friend, you have nothing left to do," Shadow lifted Espio up and pulled him into a hug. Espio's body tensed up, but he soon sank in. Silver could tell Espio had forgotten what a hug felt like. And his father just reminded him how it felt like to be cared for. "You could rest easy now."

"Wait, that isn't right," Espio released himself from Shadow. "I...I had to complete the mission. It is what... I was meant to do. Was it not?"

"Not anymore," Shadow shook his head. He then looked toward Silver. He sighed. "Whatever mission you were to complete will be fulfilled by my son, Silver."

Espio looked at Silver long and hard. It was clear that he was analyzing the sixteen, almost seventeen-year-old. Silver paid no mind to it; he could always rely on his senses to tell him what Espio was feeling.

'You know, I'd rather not know what he thinks of me right now.'

"Shadow, are you positive? I understand that I know nothing of your son, yet, I wonder if he is capable of completing something like this?"

"Why'd you say it like it's a bad thing?" Silver mumbled, kicking a stray pebble to the other side of the room. 'I am more than capable of defending myself against him. I didn't know I was supposed to fight him with everything I had earlier.'

Shadow sighed and looked toward his son. Silver still refused to make eye contact with either of them. Shadow could tell his son was still fuming from the comments earlier.

"He has his faults and irrationalities, I admit that he had some maturing to do," Shadow tried to reach out for him, but Silver was too distracted to notice and accidentally stepped away. It made Shadow frown slightly, but he hoped everything could be cleared up after dinner. "But Silver is my son. He is capable of doing what he pleases with that mind of his."

"Both literally and figuratively."

Shadow gave Silver the side-eye, which wiped off the little smile on his face. Silver just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, again beginning to mumble angsty jargon under his breath.

"R-right, I believe in your judgment Shadow. I meant no disrespect to your son,"

'Sure,' Silver mocked in his head. 'I hope we get to train together so I can show you how I really fight.'

"I would never disrespect the person who promised me so much."

"Oh," Silver uncrossed his arms, and both men turned to look at him, wondering what else the silver-quilled hedgehog had to say. "Espio...."

"Yes?"

'I think it would be best for everyone, right? Just say it, I should just say it.'

"Come home with us."

Silver looked at his father, surprised at what he had said. It was exactly what he had been thinking and contemplating since he met the chameleon.

'Yes, this way I won't get yelled at by my father!'

"Home? With you?" Espio glanced at Shadow, who nodded at him. "Shadow, am I honored, but I am in no need of your assistance. I still have one mission left to complete before I could think of resting."

'Mission? Is that why he needed the time device?' Silver looked at his father's face. His eyes looked sad. 'No, it's something else. It seems personal. If he really needed the time device for it, he would have taken it and ran.'

"Espio," Shadow shook his head. "I have lost track of Mighty five years ago. If you are so instant on finding him, I will help you," Shadow looked behind him, signaling over to Silver, looking through some files on his wristlet. "Believe me, if you continue searching, you will only lose more of yourself."

Espio's pupils seem to shake at that statement. Silver could sense a deep anguish within him. Within them both.

'They're alike, aren't they? My dad and him. The only difference is...'

"You lost track of him..." Espio chest battered out an empty chuckle. His eyes pooled over with tears. A memory resurfaced. No one could tell what it was, but Silver felt content knowing that Espio had found a piece of himself again. "I-I remember now..."

"You remember?" Shadow visibly restrained himself from jumping on the man. He cleared his throat and mumbled a soft apology. "What is it that you remember?"

"It-It's not important to what we are trying to accomplish. Mighty was one of the most impatient people I knew. I should have known he would not wait around for me forever."

'He was supposed to stay. He said he would wait, that it could have been forever. How long has forever been?'

"Ow." Silver's whisper went unnoticed by Espio and his father. Though he was looking right at Espio, Silver didn't see his lips move at all. Yet, it was his voice clearly playing in his head. "What was that?"

'Mighty,' Silver never heard the name before. He most likely didn't fight in the war. His father would have mentioned him by now if he was. 'Whoever he was, he was important enough to Espio to look for my father. Time device aside. My father knows who he is.'

"He said he would wait for you forever, right?" Espio nodded and mumbled something under his breath. "Someone who loves you would wait forever."

Espio moved his hand toward his heart. Silver's words had greatly touched him, yet, Silver could still see his face scrunched up with hurt.

"I suppose so."

"We should get home," Shadow interrupted. "You must be starving if you came here all the way from the ruins in Mobotroplis."

"I came from the Temple."

The room went silent for a moment. Silver looked over to his father who had a frown on his face.

The Temple was something Silver knew so little about despite it being the reason he could time travel in the first place. His father rarely mentions the place, only bringing it up when talking about acquiring the stone. It wasn't surprising to Silver that he never elaborated on where the Temple was or what else could be inside.

'Whatever it is, that look he's giving Espio means that whatever was near that Temple is bad news.'

"The Temple? As in the one I found the stone from?"

"Is there...another one?"

"No, it's just, that's so far from here. What were you doing all the way out there for?"

"I was retracing my steps, trying to remember why I only remembered you so vividly,"

His father's face strained, and Espio kept his eyes fixed on that look. Silver could not bring himself to say anything. Not the look, not the temples, or how his father keeps his secrets even to his friends.

'It's strange.'

"It's strange."

'That's what I'm saying.'

"We...We'll discuss this later. Son, take him home. I'll meet you there."

"Yes, father."

"And Silver," Silver straightened his posture as his father approached him. Shadow pointed to the bike parked outside the lab. "If you know what's good for you, go straight home. Don't pull something like that with me again."

"Yes, I know."

"I forgot how off putting he makes others feel."

"Yep, that sounds like a memory I would have kept repressed," Silver looked to him to see if he'd even react. But there wasn't even anger in his stone-set face. Silver smiled awkwardly and began walking to his bike. Espio followed suit. "Sorry, bad time to be making jokes," Silver mounted the bike and adjusted the mirrors before turning it on. Silver looked at Espio and patted the back seat. "Just hold on tight. don't need you falling out."

Silver had to stop himself from shivering from how cold Espio was. His hands rested lightly on his shoulders. But before Silver could ask him to tighten his grip, he saw his father approaching them. He didn't even look at Silver; he grabbed Espio by the hands and adjusted his grip on Silver's shoulders.

"You have to grab on the right way, or you'll fall. Now, let's get going."

"Right," Espio answered meekly. Silver kept his gaze on the open road ahead of him, waiting for his father to take the lead before he even thought about moving.

Neither of the three spoke to the other, which was fine with Silver as he was so focused on not going. Silver was careful to try to match his father's speed. He was scared of what he might do to him if he did not follow him to a t.

"We're here," Silver whispered. He hated being the one to always break the silence. He turned around to look at Espio. The chameleon's eyes were doing circles with the way he was taking everything in.

'I wonder what that feeling is like. To take in everything as if you were seeing it for the very first time.'

"Do you remember this place?" Silver said a bit louder than before. Espio vision finally settled on him. He shook his head.

"For me, it is like looking at it for the very first time."

"I don't blame you for not recognizing it," a voice from behind bellowed. Silver sunk into himself a little bit as Shadow approached. He, too, was now standing in front of the house. His eyes made the same circles as Espio's did moments ago. "I don't. Not anymore. This is not the same home I created with her."

"With who?"

"With his mother," His father looked at the house a little longer. "Amy Rose."

Silver nearly gasped when he heard the name from his mouth. Shadow rarely addresses his mother by her full name. Not that he never mentioned her before this. Silver always heard 'your mother,' 'the love of my life,' 'Silver's mother.' She was always intertwined with one of them.

'When was the last time I heard him say her name? Has it really been that long?'

"Amy. Rose?" Espio looked at Silver. He stared at him like he was trying to complete a puzzle on his face, which was visible only to him. "Amy Rose." He repeated. "The pink hedgehog?"

"Yes, her, that name," Shadow tears his eyes away from the house to look at Espio. It was a dead-eyed stare. Silver almost felt a bit scared for Espio. The last time he saw that look on his father's face it didn't end well for the other party.

'It was the first time I saw him fight. That day in the anti-zone.'

"What do you know about that name?"

Espio didn't answer. His head dropped toward the ground and his eyes closed. Shadow kept staring at him with that look, his chest heaving more than before.

'He's trying to remember something. He feels like he should know, but he doesn't. I know what that's like.'

"Nothing," His eyes opened. He looked at Shadow and shook his head. "I don't know her from the past. But he mentioned that name to me. Even showed me a picture."

"I-I never showed him a picture?"

Shadow looked at  Espio, who was still looking confused as he stared between the two of them.

"Y-you didn't?" He whispered. "Did I..."

"Espio, you remembered!" Silver laughed out. "You do know her!"

"You both fought in the last battle in the war for the Quartz Emerald in the Seventh galaxy together. You both have so many memories together. I'm glad that she still lives through your memories," Shadow's voice was so low he almost didn't hear what he said. That was until he turned over to Silver. "What prompt you to ask him about your mother?"

Silver felt his face grow hot the longer his father stared at him. It might have been out of embarrassment. Truthfully, Silver was desperate to know anything he could about her. His aunt and uncles were gone. The only uncle he has around is Sonic. And the last time he mentioned her, he threw a glass of water at his face.

"I-I," Silver stumbled over all the thoughts in his head. They all screamed so loud. All longed to learn about her. "I wanted to see if he remembered her. I don't hear a lot about Mom from you."

"You never ask."

"You never seem in the mood to talk about her!"

"Silver," Shadow sighed out. He didn't sound angry. Not like before. Silver could tell his father was exhausted. A part of him felt guilty. The other part, however, felt like he wanted to push more.

"I'm just saying. You got to know her. We both lost her, but I only know of her through pictures on the wall. How is that fair?"

"Silver," He repeated, almost like a warning.

"What?"

"Get inside now."

Espio remained quiet as he followed Shadow up inside the house. Silver stayed outside, looking up at the house. He tsked, kicking the dirt underneath his foot so forcefully he thought it would get in his eyes.

There were so many emotions brewing up inside of his stomach. It wasn't like any post-mission nausea he had ever felt before.

'What did I even do? Why do I have to sit through another one of his lectures?'

"Silver! Get inside here, now!" Silver tensed up. He sighed, clenching his fists. He stomped up the two steps leading up to the front door. And closed it shut without even touching the knob. Shadow was standing at the kitchen table with his arms crossed and a fire in his eyes. "I'm going to get Espio situated. Do not move from this chair, do you understand me?"

"Yeah, I do," Silver mumbled out.

"I mean it, Silver. Do not get up." 

'Well, this is going to be a long night.'

Silver was so angry he wanted to kick the chair before him to pieces, but he knew that would only worsen his case. The emotions in his stomach kept getting stronger and stronger. He rested his arms over the area. It didn't feel like any stomachache he'd ever had.

'I swear, I'm going crazy,' Silver tapped his foot slowly against the floor, trying his best not to make too much noise or sound too annoyed. The last thing he wanted was to make the whole situation worse for himself. 

"Silver?"

Silver was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't even notice his father walk in.

"Yes?" He responded, trying to bite back his sour attitude as much as he could. Silver could see all over his father's face that he was doing a poor job at it.

"Son," Silver stared at his father as he sat in front of him. "Do you want to know why I am so upset?"

"Because I ran after Espio and parted ways upset with you?"

"That is one of the reasons," Shadow sighed out.

'What else could there be?'

"Moreso, I am upset you do not trust me."

"I do trust you." Silver retorted.

"Silver, I taught you better than to be dishonest with me. You do not trust me. If you trusted me, you would not have kept this from me."

"But-"

Shadow raised up his hand before Silver could give a reply. Silver jaw clenched.

"Truly, did you really think I am such a terrible father that I would risk the life of my only son to fix what happened?"

"I never said-!"

Shadow stood up from with such force the wooden chair he was sitting on flew back. The screeching and tumbling rattled the entire house and made Silver's breath hitch.

"I would do anything to trade places with you! I have risked everything and everyone to keep you safe! Yet still, I see the anger on your face whenever I have to hold my tongue so that the trials run their perfect course and we can give a chance at the future everyone deserves. Why, Silver?! Tell me why you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you, father." That's all Silver could muster to say while his throat grew warm and scratchy. If he said another word, his words would break, and his eyes would pool over with tears. He didn't deserve to cry. Not there in front of his father who was pouring his heart out with dry eyes and his voice stable and clear. He could even muster a couple of words without becoming a pathetic mess.

"Do you think I get gratification from lying to my son? Believe me, I don't! It breaks my heart to have to keep things from you. It tears my soul in two to know that one day, I will stop waking up to your face. But..." Shadow sighed, shaking his head. "What must be done will be done. We'll be happy in our other life. But for now, please, my son. Don't waste these moments we have together being angry at me."

"I'm..." Silver couldn't hold it any longer. A tear strayed down his cheek. "I'm sorry."

Shadow looked behind him and dragged his chair back to be right in front of his son. He wiped the tears off of his son's warm face. Silver's lip quivered as Shadow looked at him with his tired eyes. Those same old, ruby eyes that have been him like this since he was a little boy.

"I accept your apology," Shadow said softly. He caressed Silver's cheek as he continued to wipe the tears from his face just like he used to when he was a boy. "You should have told me, Silver. I assumed my son would trust me enough to tell me his fears."

"I'm starting to realize I should have done a lot of things differently," Silver laughed softly, his face still warm and wet from crying. His father took his hand and instead rested his arm on the table. "I really am sorry, dad."

"Silver," Silver looked towards his father from across the table. "Do you remember what I told you when you were young?"

"I think so?" Silver crossed his arms and began to think. His father had told him a lot of stories, mostly about the past he had before meeting his mother and before the first time he met his uncle Sonic. "Is this about your time with the doctor and his granddaughter?"

"Yes," Shadow's voice grew dark, and his eyes began to glow red. Silver could tell his father was deathly angry. "I detested that man with every fiber of my body. I could never understand how heartache and the fear of losing someone could destroy a person," Shadow shook his head. "Even when I lost Maria, I was able to come back to my senses."

'He never really talks about her. From the databases, she died from a government-initiated raid.'

"That was not the case when I lost your mother,"

'Mom...'

"Only then did I understand the man I hated. I never thought it was possible to lose her. And when I did, I went mad with grief. Sick with rage. The time stone was something Dr. Robotnik would speak of, all to reverse what happened."

"It never was the stop of the war, was it?" Silver began to remember when his father would cry alone in his room. Although he would see his father be strong around him and even stronger on the battlefield, he could not imagine all the pain he was going through because of his mother's death. "It was to get her back."

"I knew it." Silver whispered. His father looked rather ashamed of himself at that moment. Silver held back a gulp, too afraid to make any noise.

"It was selfish, yes, but I could not forgive myself for what happened to her. The simple thought of you growing up without her broke me apart like nothing ever has," Shadow's eyes began to tear up. He clenched his fist, not wanting to cry. Silver stared at his father, riddled with shame. He tried to comfort him, but his guilt prevented him from offering him a comforting touch. "I went mad trying to find the stone. To prevent the death of your mother and those of my dear friends. I proposed the idea to Tails. He was the one who explained to me my plan could not come to fruition."

"Well, yeah. What would be the point of stopping Mom from getting killed if the war is what killed her."

Shadow nodded in agreement.

"As I told you before, we were unprepared. We were at peace. No one had even bothered to pick up a weapon after the first war ended. That was our downfall."

"No one could have known," Silver reassured. "No one could have blamed you guys for wanting to retire after fight 'the war of all wars'."

"What is funny is your mother was the one person who never stopped fighting."

"She didn't?"

"No, not ever. She would say her strength was a gift, and because of that, it was her calling to use that strength to help those who could not help themselves."

Silver adored the way his father talked about his mother. Though melancholy, a light sparked in his eyes and a permanent smile appeared on his face at the mere mention of her. In these moments, Silver can glimpse into the past and see what his father used to be before the scourge.

'She sounds awesome.'

"Your mother could solve anything she puts her mind to. She'll be able to fix this mess we're in. Whatever threat comes, she'll stop it. You have to let her know that."

"I know," Silver muttered. He has heard the same speech hundreds of times. It tears him up inside that he will only see what his mother is capable of in another life that isn't even his.

"Son?" Shadow sighed and placed his hand atop his son's. "I have been too hard on you. For that, I owe you an apology."

"It's okay, dad. You do what you have to do, right?" Silver whispered.

"I am changing your mission."

"Huh? To what?"

"You are to stay in the past and help them win. You can spend time with them, meet them, and get to know all the things words will not be able to justify."

"Wait, really?" Silver stood up in surprise. Shadow nodded as his eyes shut, lost in thought.

"I write a list of everything there is to know about them. I hope that will make you happy."

'Stay with Mom and her friends?'

"Really? You're not joking?"

"You should know that jokes aren't my strong point."

"Thank you!" Silver  grabbed his fathers hand and brough him into a hug. His father's surprise chuckle rang through both of their bodies. "You have no idea how much this means to me, Dad."

"Anything for you, son."

Shadow patted Silver's head before letting him go. Shadow stares into Silver's eyes for a moment.

"You look just like her," Shadow whispered. A small smile on his face. "I can't wait for you to meet her, son. She will love you."

"I hope so."

"She will. I know it." Shadow reaffirmed with confidence.

Silver smiled sheepishly, not knowing what else to say. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. The talk he had wanted with his father had finally been had, and now he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Let's hope we didn't disturb Espio too much. He is still getting used to his room."

"Oh, I almost forgot about him. How is he doing?"

"Adjusting would be the best word," Shadow sighed out. "We should let him rest; he traveled miles to get here."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"His body was dumped out in a landfill about three years ago. It was then I learned that he had lost most of his memories. His mind was gone, but the body doesn't easily forget. He knew how to claw his way out of a dangerous situation."

"But he remembers you now. What happened in between those three years?"

Shadow shook his head. "I wish I could answer that. I don't know why I am the only one he can recall. I wasn't even the one closest to him."

"Hm," Silver hummed. "Memories work in weird ways."

"You both have met before this."

"Huh?" Silver blinked. "What do you mean?"

"You were still small, barely able to make out a babble. He held you in his arms and nearly cried when he saw you open your eyes. He said you reminded him of your mother. Mighty was there two. He made you those wooden toys you loved so much as a child."

"What? He did?!"

"He did," Shadow nodded. "I wish you both could have remembered all that."

"So do I," Silver got up from his chair. His legs were wobbly from all the nerves, so he steadied himself on the top rail of the chair. "Do you know if Uncle Sonic knows about Espio?"

"Of course he does. They were close before the war."

'I wonder what he'll say about him?'

"Before you go on saying anything, I wouldn't bother bringing it up to him. You know how he can be."

'Of course, I know how he is. I have to bring him his food. Not that Dad doesn't talk to him. I can hear them fighting through the walls.'

"But while you're there," Shadow stands up from his place at the table and makes his way to the food safe. It's a basket of assorted foods from the rations station. "Take this to him."

"How did-?"

"You think I wouldn't know my own son?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Silver grabbed the basket, taking in the scent of semi-stale bread and metal cans that stunk of dirty copper. "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. Again."

"You're okay, son. Remember how much I love you."

"Me too, Dad." 'I love you too.'

Silver took the basket off the table and walked to the door. He silently creaked it open and walked outside. The sight of a disheveled shed made him sigh.

Silver is usually the one to deliver him his dinner, but whenever he comes back from trial runs, it becomes harder to ignore his Uncle's annoyance with him as it becomes a fight of 'the trials are pointless' or 'how dare you leave your father in charge of my meals.'

'As if I have any control over what he and my father fight about when I'm not here.'

Silver knocked on the door first before pushing the heavy wooden door open. There was an audible groan coming from the shadowy lump curled on the bed. To Silver's surprise, the room smelled as if it had been freshly cleaned.

"You two will never let me starve to death, will you?"

Sonic was turned away from the door. All Silver could make out were faded, blue quills. Silver couldn't remember the last time he saw his uncle's face. It could have been months or even years. From all the years of Sonic yelling at him or giving him silent treatment, he has learned it is best not to visit his room often.

"Hey, Uncle Sonic. I'm sorry I haven't been around too much."

"Yes, I could tell. Look what your father came and did!"

'Cleaned?'

Silver heard him grunt from his bed. His body shook with the vibrations of his voice.

"I came to ask you something."

"Whatever it is, I don't know."

"It's about Espio."

There was a pause. Silver could not even hear his Uncle's breath. It was so deathly quiet.

"Espio?" He finally spoke. "What about Espio?"

"We found him. He's alive and staying with us."

"Oh? What, he wants to see me or something?" Sonic let out a low chuckle. Silver had never heard a laugh so devoid of emotion. "Tell him no thank you."

"No, he came looking for my father?"

"Shadow? Why would he want to look for Shadow? He despised the guy."

'Really? They seemed pretty friendly before. I wonder what changed.'

"He doesn't remember much, but he knows who my father is," "It got me thinking that, if he sees you, it might trigger some memories. It happened when he saw my father; maybe it can happen with you, too?"

"I don't think he'll want to see me like this," Sonic rolled over to look at Silver, who nearly gasped at looking at his face. The former hero's eyes were sunken deep in his skull, far deeper than his father's. He could see the thick outlines of battle scars that had begun to lose their pigment and texture. As Sonic frowned, Silver could see the wrinkles in the corner of his lips. Anyone could see that grief has aged him. "I wouldn't.''

"Please," Silver pleaded. "He needs to remember."

"Don't pull that with me, kid. It won't get you anywhere," His words were laced with a sadness the anger was trying to cover. Silver was sure his uncle had to know that he could look past it. Yet he still tries to keep up the facade. "Espio should be grateful he doesn't have to remember. Leave him like that, you'll do him a big favor."

"That's the thing. He wants his memories back," Sonic raised his brows, seemingly remembering the name. "I can't force you to see him, but at least tell me what you know about someone he's looking for?"

"Let me guess. This is about Mighty, isn't it?"

"How did you-?"

He's been trying to protect that guy for years, Of course he'd be looking for him," "Sonic tsked. "Just leave it be, kid, trust me."

"Please, I need to know everything you know about him."

"Ugh! Fine," Sonic hosted himself up and was now sitting upright. Silver stopped himself from gasping. It's been years since they had a conversation that warranted his Uncle to sit down like that. "but I'll only tell you this once so pay attention!"

'Woah, I didn't think it would be that easy!'

Silver looked to his wristlet and began to type something onto it. He looked up and waited for him to speak. His uncle looked back and rolled his eyes.

"He's an armadillo with black fur, a red shell-hair thing that goes down to his back, and black eyes. I met him way back before the four-year war. He used to be a part of a team with Charmy Bee, Vector the Crocodile, and Espio, which is probably why he's looking for him,"

'That's a bit of an over-explanation, at least I know what he looks like.'

"All I know about him is that he's a bit of a treehugger. He used to live up in the forest before this war, and the last time I knew anything about where he was, he was living up in Emerald Groves. When Espio was captured, he left everyone to look for someone named Ray. Probably a friend that Mighty hoped would help him get Espio back, but that isn't any of my business,"

'Ray? I've never heard of that name, not even from father. So who could that even be?'

"Look at a forest of something. Maybe he'll fall out of a tree."

"Thank you, Uncle Sonic. I'll bring it up with my father later."

"Whatever," Sonic grabbed a piece of bread and shoved it in his mouth while waving Silver to get out of his room. "Thanks for the food, kid."

"Anytime."

Silver rushed out of Sonic's room and made his way back into the house through the back door. His father was still sitting alone in the kitchen. A glass of fig wine sat in front of him. His attention drew towards Silver, who had a wide smile on his face.

"Dad! I know how to find Mighty."

"Shhh!" Shadow nearly lunged at him. "Someone is sleeping in here."

Silver tensed up and tried to keep his footsteps quiet as he approached his father. "Sorry!"

"What do you mean 'you know how to find him'?"

"Uncle Sonic told me."

"What did he tell you?" Shadow asked, confused.

"That he'll fall out of a tree!" The look of confusion only deepened. Silver smiled awkwardly, knowing how weird all of this must sound to him. "I know this all must sound weird, but I'm going to make this right. Dad, I'm going to get Mighty back."

"I lost track of him years back, but I know if anyone can find him, it's you," Silver stifled a chuckle as his father petted his head like he would always do when he was a child."Did you make him a promise or something?"

"No, but how else will I get the person who was able to one-up me so quickly to train me?"

"Always the clever one. You're her boy, alright."

'Mom...I can't wait to see you.'

[wavyskies]

A post that's very much related to a separate post that's been going around the graphic side of Tumblr. (To the person that made the original, this is not in bad taste. I'm just stating opinions of my own and opinions that others may have in common with me. I genuinely have no intent on trying to make you look necessarily bad in any way. The first half is just kind of me rephrasing the original post because I thought it had a good point, but that point got lost along the way.):

Make a pretty blog because: you enjoy making it, having one makes you happy, looking at it comforts you, etc.

If making a pretty blog doesn't feel like something that would be worth your time or would make you happy, then don't.

Just have fun and be yourself, there is no standard to meet and you having a "non-aesthetic" blog doesn't reflect on you. People are here for YOU, not your blog aesthetic.

That being said, to anyone and everyone who DOES have an "aesthetic" blog, that's cool. I hope it makes you happy.

And I hope that some people realize that making and decorating a blog, even if it's super "aesthetic," IS a way to express yourself. Art is self expression, fashion is self expression, music is self expression, even book covers can be self expression. It doesn't matter if it follows a color scheme, maybe that's just what you like and what feels right.

And using myself as an example because I'm sure I'm not the only one, I don't make my blog appearance for ANY of you. I'm sorry. It's for me, because it brings me comfort. I like having a pretty blog because it helps with my anxiety, I enjoy looking at it, and it feels more like mine. And also, there are so many blogs I have made that I find "aesthetic" that are on private. They could not be less for followers or status.

"It's just copying" (<- paraphrasing here.) No idea is original. Listen to me: no BOOK idea is entirely original. Every story has technically been done before in one way or another. Does that mean the author has no personality? Does that mean the author has no creativity or is just trying to seem cool? No. There is no such thing as an entirely original thing. But they we're expressing their talent and what they like to do. Let people have fun, let people do what they want.

This same argument can and does happen in the artist community, the writing community, and every other form of art. This is not a new argument, it's just a slightly different context. If this was applied intensely to everything, no one would participate in hobbies anymore.

I love everyone who doesn't have "aesthetic" blogs. I love everyone who does. And yes, some people with pretty blogs get followers more easily, but those followers have minds of their own. If they realise "hey, this person isn't actually all that great of an individual," then they'll unfollow them. A color scheme and some pngs don't earn love and forgiveness. It's all for enjoyment and fun.

Please do be yourself. But be yourself in whatever way works for YOU. At the end of the day, it really is just pixels. So the appearance of your things or how cool you seem DOESN'T matter. But take that again with the context of this post: the appearance of your things or how cool you seem DOESN'T matter. So do what you want.

I am very aware that this post is much less than perfect. There are definitely parts that I could've phrased differently, and things I could've added to convey the message better. But I hope you can understand what I was trying to say. Thank you for your time if you read this far, and if you have any comments or things you would like to add on to improve this, please let me know. And it's more than likely that I'm wrong about a lot of this, and this entire conversation is up to debate. If you disagree, then please discuss it publicly because I think this is an interesting debate and I would love to understand more than my biased stances allow me to right now. Again, thank you so much for your time. Have a lovely day. <3

[pawberri]

hi I'm new to making kemono art and was wondering if you had some advice for a struggle I've run into...so all of the characters I draw end up looking the same. I can differentiate features like hair and clothes/body but when I try to deviate facial features it stops looking like the kemono style...help?

Hmm hmm!! I definitely know how you feel. Trying to get things to "feel kemono" was very hard for me. My biggest tip is to study lots of kemono artists!! ケモノ is the term in Japanese that can help you find stuff on twitter, pixiv, etc. I used to Google [species name in japanese] ケモノ to look at examples when I first started. The more artists you follow the more approaches you can see!!

In terms of my own art I think that "flat face" kemono relies a lot on subtle proportional difference. A small snout can end up looking very prominent in this context. Same with other small proportional differences that clue you into the species/animal even if they're technically pretty far off from reality.

Little snout vs bigger snout. A big difference here is also the eyes. Learning how to draw lots of different eyes helps differentiate characters and is ofc a big part of anime visual language.

Here are pretty flat faced characters that all feel different because of their personality and the proportions of their faces.

Learning to make non-flat face kemono can be a little harder because drawing these shapes is hard, but studying and figuring out how to place an anime eye naturally onto a snout is key and helps a lot with differentiation!!

Basically you are learning a new visual language that is slightly different than cartoony furries, and it takes time to figure out the equivalent of each part. There's also a lot of room to play around and still be "kemono."

Here's my early kemono stuff where you can see me trying to figure all this out:

[sungbeam]

𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤

motorcycle racer!ji changmin x gn!reader

1.4k words, flirting, changmin is wearing a leather jacket and aviators and dog tags (swoons), he calls u sweetheart ofc

a/n: at this point, i might as well just keep on going — btw, i recommend reading "rush" before this so the plot is put into context, but if u don't that's cool too

You had never seen Ji Changmin in the daylight before. 

You had been summoned down to the front of your apartment complex by his text message, informing you that your car was waiting outside. Instead of seeing only your beloved, hand-me-down sedan, you found yourself gazing upon the very thing mentioned beforehand: Ji Changmin, in all his glory. 

He was leaning up against the side of your car with his hands tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket, a garment riddled with pretty patches of art and emblems you'd like to take a closer look at. His dark hair was swept back slightly, just enough to be out of his face. He wore a pair of dark aviators over his eyes, and your keen eyes caught the dog tags hanging from the chain around his neck. 

He grinned at the sight of you, his tongue caught between his teeth. The dimples were throwing you off immensely. 

"Well?" He said in greeting, throwing his arms out open wide in a vague gesture. "Told you, you could trust me."

You made your way down the stairs toward him and your sandaled feet slapped against the concrete. You laughed under your breath, a little disbelieving. "I have to admit: I didn't think you could drive cars, Ji."

Changmin's mouth pressed into a smile then, taking a step toward you until the two of you stood face to face on the sidewalk. "Just one of my many charms, sweetheart."

You braided your arms over your chest. "Well, uh, for what it's worth—thanks for bringing my car back safe and sound." You made a show of peering around him at the vehicle. "At least, I hope it's all sound."

He snorted. "You're talking to the city's resident mechanic, Yn. It's as sound as sound can be."

"Ah, so you're a mechanic now?"

"I always have been." He leaned forward slightly, and you saw his eyes over the rim of his glasses, just as his tongue swiped over his bottom lip. "If you want, we can take it out for a spin and maybe you can learn a few more of my many talents."

You tilted your head to the side. Your thundering heart was making it difficult to think, or maybe that was just Changmin. This man was definitely keeping you on your toes. "I think some things are better left to the imagination."

Even with the aviators, you saw surprise flash over his features, and satisfaction purred in your chest. It felt good to elicit that kind of reaction from him. 

You shifted your gaze to movement in your periphery to watch as one of your neighbors pulled into the lot down the block. The thought suddenly occurred to you that if Changmin had your car dropped off here, he might not actually have a way back to wherever his residence was, unless the walk wasn't far. 

Maybe you were about to take your car out for a spin after all. 

You sighed, facing Changmin again. He was still waiting for you. "Let me grab my wallet," you exhaled, already turning on your heel to head into the complex. 

His laugh followed you all the way in. 

You had to adjust the driver's seat when you got into your car. Changmin was already settled in the passenger side, seat belt strapped over his chest and aviators propped up on his head. The keys were left dangling in the ignition for you, and he had even gone so far as to roll down his window and let the radio start playing. 

"You've made yourself at home," you noted as you sat up straight and quickly checked your mirrors. 

You stole a glance over at him at the same time as he did for you. 

He looked like he had too much room over there with his legs spread like that. "It's not every day that I get chauffeured. Usually it's the other way 'round. Pull out onto the main street and make a left," he instructed. 

"Yes, sir," you muttered under your breath as you followed his words, glancing over your shoulder as you turned out of the neighborhood and onto the bustling main intersection. 

Changmin tongued his cheek to keep from smiling. 

As you sped along the main road with the rest of traffic, you said, "For some reason, you feel very nocturnal to me."

He chuckled. "Why? Because races are at night?"

You lifted a shoulder half-heartedly. "I mean, yeah. I haven't seen you or associated you in any other context besides that. And maybe as Chanhee's weird friend—"

Changmin shot you a look. "I'm the weird one? Have you seen that man play Cool Math Games when he's bored?"

You guffawed aloud, and Changmin's mouth widened into a grin at the sound. "Do I keep going straight, or where do I turn?"

"Oh, keep going for two more intersections and then make a right into the first alleyway." He peered out his window for a second to watch the pedestrians and other cars on his side. "Again, not really sure what gave you the impression that I'm the weird one."

The smile on your face just wouldn't go away. But this time, you didn't have Changmin's helmet to hide it. 

You heeded Changmin's instructions and followed the road past two more intersections, then signaled to turn into the first alleyway. The alley led you into the back parking lot of what you assumed connected to the street of shops facing the main road. Changmin pointed toward an opened garage door like the yawning jaws of a cavern just down the block, and you carefully swung your car into park along the curb across from it. 

Changmin unbuckled his seatbelt and popped his door open. "My bike's inside," he said, as if interpreting your silent gaze toward the open garage door as a question. You could see all the equipment inside, as well as his motorcycle amongst the chaos. It seemed that he wasn't kidding about being a mechanic.

Your eyes darted upward at the second level above the garage. "Do you live here?" You blurted. "Sorry that was nosy—"

He shook his head, his hand propped on top of the car door where he stood just outside the car. "It's all good. Yeah, I live up there. It was just convenient and I couldn't exactly pass up the chance for a two-in-one rent," he chuckled. 

You nodded. There were thoughts running through your head, and yet, none of the words felt right on your tongue. 

Changmin pursed his lips into a dimpled smile, saluting you again. "Thanks for the ride back, Yn."

"Thanks for getting my car back," you replied. 

The car door slammed shut, and you slumped in your seat, waiting for him to round your car and head into his residence. 

Except, he rounded the car, then knocked on your window instead. 

You furrowed your brows, jamming your thumb on the button to lower the window all the way down. "Something up?"

He broke into an impish smile. "I forgot to give you this." He shouldered off the leather jacket on his shoulders, exposing the muscular build of his upper arms constrained in the navy blue T-shirt he wore. Your eyes widened as he folded the jacket in half, rolled it in a neat bundle, then passed it to you through the open window. You stared down at it like he had just placed a bomb in your lap. 

He snickered at your reaction, leaning his forearms above his head on the top of the car as he ducked his head in your window. "They see that, they'll let you in for free," he said, nodding to the jacket. 

You raised your head to meet his eyes. "They know it's yours?"

Changmin hummed, teeth capturing his bottom lip. "Mhm."

Oh. "They're gonna assume things."

"Like what?"

You deadpanned at him, and swore your heart tripped at the boyish smile on his face. He knew exactly what you were trying to get at. "They're gonna assume that we're an item."

Changmin shrugged his shoulders. "So? What does it matter what they think or assume? We know the truth."

"The truth?" You echoed. "You can't just tell them to let me in when I show my ID or something?"

Instead of addressing your logical suggestion, he simply said, "It's none of their business who you are to me." 

You blinked; his expression was unfaltering. You didn't know what game he was playing, but you had to remind yourself that you were only in this city for a short time, not a long one. (Then again, maybe that was more reason to live your life out like you had never gotten to before.) "And who am I to you?"

Changmin straightened, pushing off the car. He began walking backward toward his garage, putting distance between himself and his jacket. There was that cocky, smug smile again. "Whoever you wanna be, sweetheart."

a/n: i *really* need to make up for the lack of jacob fics now :/ (sorry cobie close ur eyes !! u don't see ANYTHING)

tbz m.list

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @y3jiishot @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @mingiholic @ja4hyvn @ethereal-engene @justalildumpling @vatterie @yogurteume

[harudnae]

This is the SFW fic I wrote for the @op-xreader-zine, with art from Calyptale!

Also posted on AO3 on 2023.09.20

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Rayleigh x Shakky x gn!Reader (no pronouns used)

Summary: Your girlfriend introduces you to her husband.

Content warnings : Modern AU, polyamory, flirting, kissing, alcohol drinking

Word count: 1k

- Double the sweetness

You are smitten. Positively, irredeemably in love with Shakky, as a matter of fact.

She had caught your eye during a trade fair a few months ago, stunningly beautiful and captivating her whole audience with her charming voice and intense gaze.

You had locked eyes with her a couple of times during her presentation but you weren’t hoping for more than a few stolen glances– you were neither a customer nor a prospect of the company she was advertising for, and this was a business-related setting so you weren't supposed to be here to flirt.

Shakky, on the other hand, saw no objection to pursuing the target of her desires in any situation. She'd walked straight to you afterwards and asked you if you had any further interest in what she was presenting.

You told her that you were here out of personal curiosity, and that your business didn’t need that kind of service. Contradictory feelings bubbling in your chest then, you had reluctantly went back to your company’s booth and were preparing to spend the rest of the afternoon brooding there, but Shakky came for a visit a little while later.

A mischievous smile curved her lips when she asked, “Personal curiosity, was it?”

Somewhat flustered, you simply nodded.

“Then we have something in common. Maybe we can arrange a rendez-vous so we can talk more about it?”

You blinked. Her words were smooth enough that they seemed innocuous within this context for someone who didn’t witness your previous exchange, but you had a hint there was more to it so you agreed to meet her again, not willing to waste another chance.

Over dinner that night, Shakky told you she was in an open marriage.

Though you never had multiple relationships at the same time, you knew you were polyamorous, so you were fine with things the way they were, and decided to give a shot at a relationship with her.

As it turned out, Shakky is an absolute sweetheart, and you fell for her hook, line and sinker in a matter of weeks. It’s long past the time when you were anxious on dates with her, but tonight is a special occasion so you’re a bit tense when you knock on the door to her house–that is, her and her husband’s, whom she’s introducing you to.

Shakky grins wide as she opens the door, and leans in for a sweet kiss.

You smile against her lips and answer in kind.

When she leans back, she nods for you to come in. “Sweetheart, let me introduce you to my husband,” she says as you follow her into the living room.

Said husband gets up from the couch upon your arrival. “I’m Rayleigh,” he says, politely bowing. “Pleasure to meet you.”

You’ve heard of him quite often, and he seems to be a nice guy. You weren’t quite prepared to meet such a handsome man, though. You clear your throat when you realize you’re staring a little, then bow in return. “(y/n). Pleasure’s all mine.”

Rayleigh gives you a quick once-over, grinning. “I can assure you it’s shared.”

Slightly flustered, you turn your gaze back to Shakky, whose knowing glance goes from her husband to you.

She smiles and offers, “Why don’t we have a drink?”

“I’ll take care of it.” Rayleigh nods.

You sit next to Shakky on the couch, and can’t help but observe her husband while he gets busy at the bar.

Tall, well-built, his brown vest cinching his waist and the dark blue sleeves of his button-up shirt showing his toned arms, a small smile curling his lips, half-hidden behind a curtain of mid-long silver hair.

“Sweetheart?”

You snap your head back towards your lover, slightly embarrassed. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

“That I’m glad to have you both here, and that I hope you’ll get along,” she says with a grin.

You softly smile. “I’m happy to be here too, and I see no reason why we shouldn’t.”

“That’s good,” Rayleigh says as he places two cocktails on the table. “She’s always been a good judge of character, and introduced me to the most wonderful people.”

You tilt your head in curiosity. “Is that so? Does it happen often?”

Rayleigh shrugs. “I wouldn’t say that often but still. Shakky’s lovers are always a delight to meet.” He brings his own drink and raises his glass. “To polycules!”

You exhale a delighted chuckle. “Yeah, that’s nice.” The drink helps you loosen up a little and you wonder why you were anxious in the first place.

Rayleigh is really charming, his voice warm and soothing as he chats and laughs at one or the other story.

Over dinner, Shakky gently teases you, getting you flustered over her compliments while she recounts the early days of your relationship with her.

You manage to avoid blushing too hard when you direct the conversation towards stories of her younger years together with Rayleigh, and find that you only want to know more about them, about him.

Rayleigh tells you he sometimes has other lovers, and he also happened to share a couple ones with her.

You manage to somewhat keep a straight face but this bit of information doesn’t fall onto deaf ears.

“I see why Shakky loves you so much,” Rayleigh says with a smile by the end of the meal.

“Oh, please.” You dismiss with a wave of the hand and a genuine chuckle. “She married you, and I get why too.”

Shakky slyly smiles. “What do you know? I just so happen to have excellent taste.”

You throw her a fondly exasperated glance, then meet Rayleigh’s eyes.

“Who am I to deny it?” He says cockily as he holds your gaze.

Oh. He’s a flirt, too? Your cheeks heat up a little and your lips curl a little upwards.

“Does anyone want dessert?”

Rayleigh looks back at you, smirking. “Something sweet? Oh, I think we’re all set.”

[grayseeker]

Supernova: A Starscream Tribute Zine

Your Questions Answered!

Welcome to a special Q&A session about my upcoming zine Supernova, dedicated entirely to Starscream! I've gathered some of your questions—and added a few that I think you might be curious about—to help everyone understand the vision and how you can contribute. These answers are subject to change as the project evolves, but I'll release a definitive FAQ in June, along with the call for submissions.

Questions and Answers:

Q: What inspired you to create a zine focused on Starscream? A: Starscream is the beating spark of my love for Transformers. He swooped into my life in '85 and took up residence, capturing both my heart and my imagination. Supernova is my way to extend that love to a wider community, inviting others to bring their own Starscream-fueled perspectives, experiences and creativity in what I hope will become a collective love-letter to this amazing character.

Q: Will you be accepting submissions based on [insert continuity]? A: Absolutely! I'm primarily a G1 fan myself, but the zine is open to all continuities, including alternate universe settings. Since I'm admittedly not versed in every TF continuity, I plan to bring in editorial support as needed to help fill any knowledge gaps. Ultimately though, the canon a work is based on is less important than how it's written. I'm looking for thoughtful, well-rounded characterizations that celebrate Starscream's strengths without ignoring his flaws.

Q: Are there specific themes or storylines you’re looking for? A: Yes! My long-term vision is for Supernova to run for several issues, each focusing on a different theme. One of my goals is to encourage works that are slightly off the beaten path, offering character explorations not often seen in fanfic (or, let's face it, especially not in canon). For the first issue, my proposed theme is friendship - and other non-romantic bonds. Don't get me wrong; I enjoy romance as much as the next person, but for this issue of Supernova I'd love to see works that explore Starscream in other relationship contexts. What's he like as a friend, or a frenemy? An ally? A parent, sparkling, sibling, or trinemate? As a commander, subordinate, mentor or mentee? The focus here is on how these relationships impact his life, and how he impacts the lives of others, for better and worse.

Q: Do I have to follow this theme? A: No, you do not. If you have an idea that falls outside the theme, go for it! Be forewarned, I might give preference to submissions that do follow the theme if there are a lot of submissions and I have to make tough choices. However, the plan for now is to put out other issues, with other themes, so if your piece doesn't make it into this issue, it might very well become a cornerstone for the next one.

Q: What kinds of works are you looking for? A: I'm looking for poetry, art, comics, short fiction (probably 6k or less), as well as non-fiction essays, character analysis, headcanons, and so on. I will have more specific submission guidelines available in June.

Q: What is the deadline for submissions? A: This is currently undecided. I'm thinking of setting the submission deadline in early November, though a firm deadline will be announced along with the submission guidelines.

Q: Will NSFW submissions be allowed? A: Yes. The theme might be friendship and non-romantic bonds, but that doesn't exclude a friends-with-benefits arrangement. If I do get NSFW submissions, I'll publish two editions of the zine: one that's SFW only, and an extended version that includes the NSFW content so readers can pick according to their preference.

Q: Will this zine be published physically? A: I hope so! I'm looking into options for print publication. Ideally, I'd like to find a print-on-demand service that allows fanfiction, so that anyone who wants a copy of the zine can have it printed and shipped to them wherever they are in the world. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem as if most print-on-demand services allow fanfic. If you know of one that does, please drop me a DM and I'll look into it.

Q: I didn’t see my question here. How can I reach out? A: Feel free to DM me with questions! Apologies that I don't take anonymous asks, but I can keep your question anonymous when I post my reply.

Thank you for your enthusiasm and curiosity about Supernova. I'm excited to see how you bring Starscream to life in your own unique ways. The interest-check is still open (linked below), so don’t hesitate to reach out if you think of more questions. Feel free to share this post with fellow Starscream fans and potential contributors. Let’s make Supernova a spectacular tribute to one of the TF uni's most fascinating and memorable characters!

[spectralstitions]

There must be a blue moon gracing the sky tonight, because would you LOOK AT THAT. IT'S MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! Oh I know you're just bursting with excitement to read this right now. In 2024, I got a firm grasp on the direction I wanted to take my art style, including what aesthetics call to me the most and what vibes I wanted my artwork to capture. But some of those conclusions felt slightly at odds with my characters as they were, so for the past couple months I've mostly been drawing my sona and letting Tristan Vik take over my life. But as a result of letting my oc thoughts drift around backstage, I came to realize that ALL ALONG, SILAS ROSE WAS THE PERFECT CHANNEL FOR ALL THE SPARKLY DARK FANTASY VIBES I'VE BEEN CRAVING. Part of me feels reluctant to let go of how grounded these characters have always been, but deep in my soul I know I've just gotta let go and FOLLOW MY HEART. And if that means imbuing my characters and world with sparkly dark fantasy goth cheese then that's what I'm gonna do, god-dammit. (I think I also might change this project name from Dear Drifter to something more sparkly sounding, but we'll see...)

ANYHOW WOW I JUST WANTED TO GIVE SOME CONTEXT TO WHAT WE'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS HERE BUT WE'RE NOT EVEN TO THE POINT OF THIS POST YET. UH. ALAKAZAM POW

I HAVE SILAS ART TO USE AS A SPRINGBOARD FOR YAPPAGE. SO LET THE YAPPAGE BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!! This post will get into the NITTY-GRITTY of my Silas design thoughts! Silas is half faun, or, well, my own twist on fauns that I'm using as a commonfolk species alongside elves (since humans aren't a thing), and half.... well.... half something else that I'm STUCK ON CURRENTLY. I'm leaning on half daemon because the connotation makes more sense on first read, but oh I love the word faerie so much and I like that it creates an implication that faeries are fucked up little guys. Open to input on anything in this post, by the by.... EITHER WAY, THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT HE'S HALF SOMETHING INHUMAN WITH NEGATIVE CONNOTATIONS. Whatever miracle hybrid Silas is, it's comparable to something like an imp, especially in the eyes of the superstitious fauns he grew up around. He's also considered THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS!!! Just in case you needed an understanding of the vibes we're gonna start kicking up around here. The prince title likely comes from his inhuman side, though the exact implications of it are still being workshopped and OUUUGHHHH THERE'S SO MANY POSSIBILITIES IT'S OVERWHELMING HOW DO PEOPLE MAKE NEW WORLDS AND OCS CONSTANTLY. IN ANY CASE... I'm not really here to discuss broader worldbuilding musings ANYWAYS. I just wanted to give some CONTEXT FOR THE DESIGN!!!

This drawing of him is meant as an idea for how he looked during the Finlay Era of his life aka late teens through his young adulthood. It's the age I draw him at the most, so it was the first one I wanted to explore his shape language for, this time with an emphasis on giving him traits that'd make him stand out from commonfolk. Relative to Finlay, I wanted Silas to be fuller and made up of soft boxes, but in an elegant and dainty way, hence his sleekness and the way nearly every piece of him trails off into a delicate point. Along the way, I imbued him with anime-star and swirl shape language, which wasn't planned, but it ended up feeling pretty natural. I incorporated the star shape or elements of it into his face and body patterns, tail, hair, and claws, and the swirl shape is likewise repeated in a few different areas of his body. In terms of the significance of those shapes, I've long used stars as a layered symbol of yearning for Silas, kind of like light he can never reach (since his domain is more like the space between the stars rather than the stars themselves. Prince of darkness and all...) so blacked-out star shapes are a nifty way to represent that. As for the swirls, I've related those to the concept of swirling, dancing shadows! I want Silas to look so very much like he was meant to Play and Dance with whimsical friends in the woods. Gosh if I ever make another shadow-based character they are definitely going to be a dancer. Anyways.

I wanted as much of him as possible to look like it was being slowly swallowed by shadows (like his fingertips) or dripping with shadows (like his hair). His overall color palette is very monochrome in order to give him the appearance of a shadow for both aesthetic and symbolic reasons, such as how he carries himself and how he forms relationships with people etc. etc.

Design cohesion is something that's SUPER important to me and for the longest time Silas' horns messed me UP but I think I finally found a solution by meshing them with the curve of his nose bridge. Long tails are also very tricky to naturally integrate into humanoid designs in general, but I think I found something I liked here by having the tail stick out a ways before becoming more wiry and flexible. Initially, I was going to give him a classical devil style tail, but it looked a little disjointed. So I messed around and ended up with a crescent shape, which, hey! He's got star motifs on him already! So that kinda fits! It's really subtle, but I tried to match the points to the shapes of the tips of his hair and his claws to help with cohesion even more... The curvature might also work with the curve of the horns, WHICH ALSO MIRROR THE EAR SHAPE, BY THE WAY! Oh can you tell I'm obsessed with shapes.

I also realize that it kiiiinda sorta looks like he has top scars. But he does NOT! Those patterns are merely a product of self-indulgence in that I'm obsessed aesthetically with tracing certain shapes on the body and flat chests are one of those things. BITE ME!!!!!!!! And? The star nipples and bellybutton? Well I added those to make the undereye stars feel less out of place. And then I realized, it makes sense anyways to just have patterns in those spots because he probably was not conceived/born in a normal way. Therefore he would not have developed those specific bits ANYWAYS! Slash half silly. It can just be up to interpretation I think LOL. This is why I love cartoon styles soooo very much.

To touch on the stars under his eyes, the reason those are even there in the first place is for SYMBOLISM! Why else.... They're the precursor to the pattern he develops later in life during his villain arc where he romantically-sad maxxes. They're meant to evoke permanent tears, as if he's crying stars! Or I guess normal tears that are sparkling a lot.

I was going to tack on another Silas infodump about how his appearance changes through his life and his relationship to how he looks -- but this is getting long so I think i'm just going to make a SEPARATE POST! SO.... SEE YA THERE MY FELLAS!!!!!

[dandylion-virtual-adventurer]

My Outer Worlds posts aren’t getting much attention, but I’m still hyper focused on it (and the Vicar) so I thought I’d get my thoughts out about the game! Lots of words under the cut lol

I was interested when it was first revealed, but didn’t play it because I generally do not want to play in first person perspective. Without a toggle for third person, I pretty much checked out and didn't pay attention to anything about the game for a long time. I had tried it (years ago) during a game pass trial but did not make it into Edgewater. If I had, I firmly believe I would have played it so much sooner.

I picked it up for less than $10 a few months ago and finally played it this month. Boom. It’s my new obsession and it’s very, very sad to be so in love with something that no one seems to talk about anymore.

But anyway, here’s my thoughts on the game, admittedly rambly and not well put together:

First of all, I think it’s important to know that I have not played Fallout: New Vegas. In fact, I’ve only played Fallout 4. I became pretty obsessed with that game when I played it as well. But even still, not to the level that I am now with the Outer Worlds. I write all that to say that I wasn’t comparing this game to New Vegas, as so many other players were. I was, however, comparing it very much to Starfield.

This blog of mine sees me post a lot of Starfield photography and a lot of Sam Coe. But to be honest, the game was overall very disappointing to me. And I don't even actually like Sam that much. In fact, there are aspects about him I actively dislike lol. But he seemed to be the only option for me to romance in the game. (Barrett was my beloved gay uncle idk what to tell you lol).

I think The Outer Worlds succeeded in a lot of ways that Starfield failed. The most obvious way being the tightly crafted world. Starfield's randomly generated areas have nothing on the hand crafted environments of smaller titles, and feel so hollow in comparison. TOW was such a delight to explore in that way. It was always so exciting to land on a new planet or explore a new city. The scale is so much smaller, and I do wish it was bigger...more. But what is there, satisfied that itch of what I wanted adventuring into new alien worlds. It also offered up a better attempt at creating a new universe, in my opinion. I appreciate that Bethesda was trying to create something slightly more serious with their title, but I prefer the dark humor of Obsidian's new lore and more whimsical art direction, even if I feel the former wasn't nearly fleshed out enough. I deeply wish we knew more about other colonies and about the Earth our Captain left behind.

Gameplay wise, I never really did get over the first person thing. Since the game is relatively short compared to other open world RPG’s, at least half a dozen times a play session, I found myself attempting to toggle to a third person view. The persistent problem of the forced first person perspective throughout the entire experience was a constant grating annoyance. I simply do not like it. Especially in a world like this. It is so important for me to be able to see my character and it hugely took away from my experience that I could not. It's incredibly baffling that they included a character creator at all. Even more irritating, is that there are multiple quests about clothing, dressing up, and disguises. Sure would be nice to actually see yourself in that context, wouldn't it?? I also found it frustrating that the developers clearly understood people would want to take pictures in the world they created, but did not, and have never included a photo mode. It's written right there on the option to turn off the HUD. But no, no photo mode.

I don't have much to say about combat. I played on the easiest difficulty, again not being overly familiar with fps, and didn't have many issues. I enjoyed the companion commands and found them way more useful in combat scenarios than many other titles with followers. And how refreshing to be able to have more than one at a time! Their banter reminded me more of Dragon Age than Bethesda titles where it can feel somewhat lonely with a single follower. The dialogue between the Unreliable crew was a delight, but it seems to be the only real time you will get to see their personalities playing off one another, as there are very few moments where the whole cast is together. Admittedly, I still sometimes go out with just the Vicar ;)

And oh how that Vicar so quickly became beloved! I've never read fanfiction in my life, but here I am now. I just turned 30 last year and I'm scouring the internet for fics and fanart of this man. Lamenting the complete lack of merch. Is it any wonder? I definitely feel he's the most well explored character in the game. It's a pity I couldn't explore his body. Not only do I find him attractive and fun to have around, but by the end of his quest I felt a deeper connection to him, as I saw my own journey with deconstructing religion reflected in his story. Frankly, I felt most of the other characters' quests felt like afterthoughts in comparison, and I was hoping for a little more.

There are some other rough edges to the game for me as well. I was greatly aggravated by the level cap being sat at 36. I'm playing the og version with DLC installed. I had no idea it was coming and was frustrated I couldn't tweak the characters further. And of course, combat became a waste of time as it was no longer rewarding by mid to late game. I essentially played the entirety of Peril on Gorgon and the last few missions of the main campaign without earning a single shred of xp. I appreciate that I can take certain companions to boost my skills that I'm weak at, but preferred to take companions I liked and let my clothing do the supplemental work for us. Unfortunately this was a very tedious task without a load out system or any way to sort the armor by affect. One wonderful perk I must sing the praises of, however, is the ability to travel while over-encumbered! If only the map itself weren't so darn cumbersome! I never took on any flaws in my first playthrough, and think I'll save that for my low intelligence run, so I can't comment on that system. It did not look appealing to me while playing on easy.

One last thought before I sum up my opinions here. The DLC. Peril on Gorgon was fine. I'm disappointed I didn't get an Archibald Excelsior outfit for Max, but it's fine. I think it was a mistake to play it after Murder on Eridanos though... because I LOVED Murder on Eridanos. It felt bigger, more exciting. Different. It was such a blast to play and I think it stuck out to me more than any other part of the game.

The biggest complaints one can have with The Outer Worlds somewhat slink away when you remember the limited time and budget Obsidian had. I wanted more places to explore. I wanted more fleshed out world building and companions. I wanted a longer third act. A more satisfying conclusion. I admit, I hate that the crew drifted a part. Most of these things could be addressed in the sequel, but the fact that we won't get them for the Halcyon Colony and the Unreliable Crew saddens me to my core. If they add romance in the sequel, that would be wonderful. But if I won't be romancing Vicar Max then what's the point... *sigh*

Hey, maybe we can get a game where the Unreliable crew is reunited to solve another murder mystery?

Eh, it could happen.

[carriagelamp]

This June I decided to explore some of the different queer picture books that my local library has available to lend! I read so many of them I decided they deserve to take up two slots; I'll provide the actual list of them below the cut for anyone who's interested. Oh and my Very Big Please For Real Go Read This Rec is The Empress of Salt and Fortune which is the first book of a novella series that is seriously consuming me body and soul.

assorted queer picture books

I wanted to see what sort of queer/Pride related pictures books my local library had so I checked a bunch out. I was really pleased by both the number and variety! I didn't come across any I actively disliked, though I would say they broadly fit into one of three categories:

Books that happened to show queer families that dealt with other topics: < Mama and Mommy and Me in the Middle, We’re Happy You’re Here, My Mommies Built a Tree House > These were my favourites. They explored diverse families but came at it from a very normalising angle that made enjoyable read alouds. The message was clear but not attempting to pontificate to a child who likely doesn't have political context for it to make sense.

Books that touched a little more directly on queer identities: < Phoenix Gets Greater, Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, Who You Will Be > All enjoyable! The former is based on the true story of a two-spirit child, which I really enjoyed, it had lovely art and a good look at how indigenous identities and queer identities can overlap. The second is about a girl coming to terms with her favourite uncle getting married and really could fit into the first category as well since it's more about her coming to terms with sharing her uncle rather than the same-sex marriage itself -- very cute either way. The last one explores gender expression with a baby through the types of clothes and toys the child engages with.

Books specifically about Pride: < Twas the Night Before Pride, It’s Pride Baby, Grandad’s Pride, This Day in June, Pride Puppy > These were… fine (with the exception of Pride Puppy which is adorable and made me laugh and is one of my favourites that I read from all these). They do give some more details about what a Pride Event might actually look like, and some attempt to give some historical context but they tend to be a little... clunky. These are the sort of book that strike me as very “feel good-y” for an adult, or which work well specifically as a teaching aid for slightly older students that have some pre-existing context, but are less appealing as just a plain read aloud for the target demographic. I’m happy they exist, if you want to specifically teach about Pride then they're nice options! And they are all bright, pretty, and diverse! But I was not very interested in these as I was in some of the above books.

(*Canadian books)

Apothecary Diaries v1

I’m so glad I read this! I’d read the manga and thought it seemed okay but was intrigued enough to give the novel a try when it was released and wow! There’s just so much more depth and personality to the actual novel!

The story follows Maomao, who was kidnapped and sold as a servant to the imperial “Rear Palace” where the consorts live. Despite being raised as a profoundly capable and very scientifically-minded apothecary, Maomao is determined to keep her head down and do what she has to do until her period of indentured servitude is over. However when certain consorts and their children begin to sicken and die, Maomao, who has a mad scientist level fascination for poisons, finds herself compelled to give warning. This ends up thrusting her into the public eye and getting her involved in a variety of bizarre mysteries that plague the Rear Palace. 

All in all it was a fun, quirky historical mystery series. Maomao is blunt, single-minded, and bordering on caustic which makes her a complete delight to read, especially when she’s forced to work with the incredibly charming and manipulative eunuch official who’s taken an interest in her.

Bambi

I’ve never actually read Bambi before and spring felt like the right time to finally give it a try. Man, I thought the way they murdered Bambi’s mom in the Disney movie was pretty brutal but it doesn’t hold a candle to the book. The descriptions of the deaths and violence and terror in the novel are staggering and seriously just fucked. Very well written, and portrays nature in all its beauty and horror. You should read it and just appreciate how different it is from the Disney film...

The Empress of Salt and Fortune

My number one rec from this month! The Singing Hills Cycle is an absolutely AMAZING series. I was iffy about it at first, since the first book really thrusts you into the world without much guidance and it sets up a bit of an usual framing device, but once I got my feet under me I ended up falling in love with it. The series follows the cleric Chih who is from the Singing Hills monastery, which believes in taking meticulous record of historical events and stories. When the palace of the exiled Empress becomes magically unsealed for the first time since she ascended the throne, Chih hurries there to take any record she can before the place is looted. There she finds an old woman known as Bunny who remembers when the Empress had lived there and begins to tell the story of the years that passed in that place of exile. The story goes back and forth between the current day with Chih, her companion Almost Brilliant, and Rabbit, and the stories that explain the political intrigue of the past.

When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain

The second book in the Singing Hills Cycle and the one that really nailed home the fact that I was going to be addicted to this series. Once again the story tells of the cleric Chih who is travelling to collect stories and memories for the monastery. While visiting the mammoth corps of the north, she and a young mammoth rider find themselves trapped in the mountains by a pack of tigresses. Trying to find a way to buy them time until they might be rescued, Chih begins to discuss a famous tale about a scholar and a tigress who fell in love -- which the tigresses think is being told completely wrong. This book goes between the current predicament, Chih’s version of the story, and the tigresses’ version of the story, the two of which often conflict wildly in their perspectives. These books are seriously so clever and enticing, some of the best framing devices I’ve seen used in years.

Mr and Mrs Bunny — Detectives Extraordinaire!

Grabbed this one on a whim thinking it looks rather charming but ended up being disappointed in it. It has a fun concept, but the author is trying so hard to be quirky that it just breaks any possible flow and immersion the story might have. The story isn’t engaging enough for an adult, and a lot of the attempted humour feels like it wouldn’t land well with children, so it ends up being a bit of a clunky muddle. I didn’t bother finishing it.

Pale Colors in a Tall Field: Poems

I have tragically little to say about this… oops. I don’t usually read poetry, and I made the mistake of doing this as an audiobook just because it jumped out at me while I was browsing Libby. It ended up being quite pretty and I enjoyed listened to it quite a lot, but I wasn’t able to sit and digest it enough to get much more than that out of it;;; I would recommend it if you want some nice queer poetry that will make you think.

Queer Little Nightmares

A fun little “horror” anthology. Like most anthologies there were highs and lows, but there was really only one story that I skipped entirely because I disliked it. They range from serious and rather tragic tales, to warm romantic ones, to viscerally disgusting, to just plain hilarious. Not the best anthology I’ve ever read, but definitely worth a read if you want some fun monster stories and romances.

Sarah, Plain and Tall

Another childhood classic I had never read before so I decided to change that. And it was fine. I’m glad I’ve finally read it. I’m sure I would have enjoyed it if I had read it around grade one or two, and it was well written, but by god not a lot is happening here. A very domestic little story about a woman who moves to the prairies to become a wife and mother, and how she connects with the children.

My Man Jeeves // Carry On, Jeeves

Fortunately I received the recommendation to read The Inimitable Jeeves first, which saved me! My Man Jeeves was… fine, but it is very clearly a collection of “proto” stories, some of them not even featuring Jeeves and Wooster. While I didn’t dislike any of them, this collection of Jeeves stories didn’t grab me in the same way some of the others have. Carry On, Jeeves also baffled me a bit because there was quite a bit of crossover between the two! It feels like a very strange way to collect these story into anthologies... Still, I ultimately enjoyed both, and I skipped over the stories I had already heard in the previous collection and carried on from there.

For anyone not familiar with the Jeeves stories, they tell about the misadventures of Bertie Wooster, and young man of independent wealth who spends most of his time loafing around London and mucking about with his various friends and acquaintances. He is a complete idiot, but cheerfully acknowledges this about himself and is honestly impossible not to like, he’s just too friendly and too determined to help his friends! Fortunately he has his man Jeeves to do the thinking and to solve the various problems he comes across, in the most elaborate and impeccably mannered ways possible.

[dear-alex-chill]

An update

Lately I haven't been active and it's spanned much longer than I intended. I originally thought it was the Team Science Zine sucking up all my energy (that zine was awesome but a beast to make) but I now realize that may have been me trying to convince myself of an untrue reality. I've been exhausted all the time with no time for me. I'm also dealing with more personal issues and being in a period of transition uses a lot of spoons. Hopefully I'll resolve some issues through therapy or other means but it's a lot to balance and I don't necessarily have the resources to take on everything. Unfortunately, art and writing has taken a backseat for the time due to everything going on. It is what it is, I hope to create again one day. However, the end of DAC as an account may be nearing.

I know I've been silent/quiet for months. I know I've not finished anything. I have few WIPs but they're limited in development and not something I want to post. Overall the Dear-Alex-Chill account is fading on all fronts and I'm not sure I want it to revive. I know my stuff rarely shows up in places, in part because of the niche I drew myself into, but also a lack of relevancy in what I produce. I honestly haven't touched digital art in a while, I do miss it. However, I'm exhausted constantly or I'm under the perception I'm too busy to do it, carving time is hard right now. I am considering leaving everything up and just sorta orphaning my account, I would never delete my writing and I don't like the prospect of deleting my art, but actively maintaining a social media like that is taxing and not something I can do right now. DAC might turn into an archive of sorts and when I'm ready I'll start anew entirely with a new name and page. Or maybe I'll come back in a while ready to get going again, I'm not sure.

Some of the lack of desire to revive was a slightly toxic culture. When things blew up around me (not really at me though but like Tumblr? Yk) I felt the need to step back and a part of me just never wanted to return. Moots, I love you guys, you're the reason I stayed so long. But sometimes it's hard to want to engage in a community of people that dislike you and that you generally dislike, it's tiresome. Wacky and Sikyu especially, you guys were awesome to talk to (I'm just mentioning you two specifically because I feel really bad for leaving you guys with no context after months of hyper-dumping hcs and ideas. Anyone I've repeatedly dmed or shared my hcs with and talked to, I do miss you all. Everyone is owed an apology but that's a lot of names to write.) It's hard to stay in a place you don't want to be, especially when you feel you're leaving those close to you, but I think it's of my best interest to step away from DT and TtS/RTA.

To my followers, I'm sorry you haven't gotten what you followed for.

To the anons and haters, cool. Have fun with your lives, I believe in karma but don't act on it, it's not my job to enforce karma, that's the universe's job.

To my mutuals/friends, I haven't forgotten you all and I do think about you. It's just hard to reply or I feel bad reaching out after so much silence. Hopefully I'll be chatty again or return to some normalcy later and I'm sorry I didn't tell any of you earlier.

Overall this just serves as a message/wellness check. I'm still here, I still lurk, but I don't really know if I want to stay active. When I decide to either orphan or revive, I'll let you all know in a new post, but for now here's what's been happening. I love y'all.

See ya later.

(yes this was on insta in slides form, Tumblr hates me uploading more than 3 photos at a time)