#if you don't like france being a dick this is not for you

[covenists]

✦ WHEN DID THE CAMERA CLICKED?, L. NORRIS

some things are definitely happened in his time in australia, but does it looks like that or no?

fc: millie alcock

taglist: @queenofmanydreams @muglermami @4limq @avengers-assemble123456 @cabbyhabs @meowtastick @4mula-1 @miarabanana @amel1ee @dinosushilun1 @auggieblogs @namgification @charli123456789 @cherry-piee

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

lando.jpg

liked by pierregasly and 526,330 others

lando.jpg through y/n's camera vs real life

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username BOY GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA

username entire grid: 🇦🇺🦘 lando and y/n: 🇫🇷🥖

username I need the low quality version

username What is he doing in france?

  ⤷ maxfewtrell That's what I thought

username she is the only one who could make him remember the password to this account after an eternity being abandoned

yourusername added a photo to their story 1h

Replied to your story

＠theemilycarey: Go back now hun your boyfriend need to race in your home country

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TODAY ON INSTAGRAM

lando.jpg

liked by yourusername and 219,807 others

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maxfewtrell I got done for that, can you come pick me up from the police station pls

yourusername Ooh who's that sexy man?

  ⤷ maxfewtrell Thanks for the compliment, Y/n. Appreciate it

  ⤷ landonorris i love your confidence

username Lando ‘whore’ norris era is like wow

  ⤷ yourusername SEGZY SMEGSY 🫨

  ⤷ username y/n what is thisss

username ＠landonorris WHERE'S Y/N

  ⤷ landonorris hopping on my luggage

  ⤷ yourusername ???

username look how fast he transport from france to australia

username behind all max's thumbnailed post, i know there's a hot lando photo

username no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponent al, logarithmic, while i gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cow girl, doggy, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick thribbing, first clenching, ear rining, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling. teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip bitting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, cant walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail stractching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, slendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tangos, he could put a nuclear bomb inside me and i'd still ride

  ⤷ username omg i-

yourusername

liked by mclaren and 709,328 others

yourusername Hiding in the planesight ✈️

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harrycollett Good pun, but not good enough.

username they've been separated for 9 hours now and she's preparing to meet him via making pun

username mastering in making a dad pun is she?

phoebe_campbell13 Ooo don't forget to alert me if you made it! I'm also in Melbourne now

⤷ yourusername Got it 🫡🫡

  ⤷ username i thought she's here for him

  ⤷ landonorris she is but she's hard to admit

lando.jpg

liked by georgerussell63 and 459,205 others

lando.jpg who am i if i'm not my girlfriend's fan?

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fabienfrankel 🤩

  ⤷ username deep inside i know fabien is still regretting the fact that he fell WAY too late for her when she's with this chap

username Useless -Max

  ⤷ maxfewtrell For real

username ew since whn did u evn bcome this luvsick ovr sum ugly grl u js met in a gala?

  ⤷ username First of all, fix your typing then comment

lilymhe Oh since when did girlfriend effect hit you this badly, son? 🤨

livkatecooke ＠yourusername I think he's your fan but not sure though...

lando.jpg

liked by oscarpiastri and 535,729 others

lando.jpg girl in blue

view all 617 comments

theemilycarey Girl in red's solid competitor

phiasaban The switch between ‘our sweet child, Y/n’ to ‘Uncle Fred from the suburban farm’ is too violent

username “TENNESEE WHISKEYYY”

username i love how the hat is just magical appear out of nowhere

emmadarcy I'm going to be very surprised if you can handle that

  ⤷ yourusername Welllll, I could actually

  ⤷ landonorris could be passed out

  ⤷ yourusername That's a lie. don't listen to him.

  ⤷ username don't lie y/n, we knew what happened the last time you take a negroni with liv

  ⤷ livkatecooke Oh yeaaahh.... What a fun experience

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TWITTER, NOT LONG AGO

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yourusername

liked by lnfour and 892,766 others

yourusername Helllloooooooo

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username Lando you better give the phone back at her

mclaren Who's that handsome fella? 😌

username Is this his world domination on Instagram time?

username whatever it is i'm thankful that she gave us this because if not imma be starved for the rest of my 20 years of living

landonorris Awww 🥺🫶🏻

  ⤷ yourusername ♥️😍

  ⤷ username OH SO IT'S NOT HIM????

username omg it's her simping time

username sorry for the misunderstanding, king

INSTAGRAM, BUT 2 DAYS AFTER THE LAST POST:

lando.jpg

liked by carlossainz55 and 628,903 others

lando.jpg we're on a battle. pls vote who's gonna win

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username ALL OF THE FUCKING SUDDEN?????

username I don't understand with y'all, what's going on now?????

alex_albon Y/n. Without any second thought

  ⤷ yourusername Welcome to my fanclub, Alex

username what battle? am i missing something?

username HAHAHAH PLEASE THE PIC😭😭

username two days ago we got lando's photo from y/n and seeing lando's lovey dovey comments beneath, AND NOW??

georgerussell63 What's going on in here actually

  ⤷ yourusername It's actually because he said that if he's losing the bet, he'll not going to get close to me for at least a day or so

  ⤷ georgerussell63 The hell is that stupid bet

  ⤷ landonorris we played... mario kart 😔😔

  ⤷ georgerussell63 Oh my god that is the stupidest bet I've ever heard or seen

  ⤷ username yall shock me for a sec

username i remember you two are still lovesick as a lovebirds, but look what yall did now

username Nobody is serious here

yourusername

liked by landonorris and 760,435 others

yourusername SHUT IT YALL I WON

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username Congratulations, Alex's saying is proven true once again

username i mean ok but YOU SLAYEDDD

landonorris yeah because i switched to princess peach

  ⤷ yourusername NOBODY disrespect her like that

  ⤷ oscarpiastri You guys forgetting Donkey Kong

  ⤷ yourusername Well definitely not me 😏😌

  ⤷ landonorris WHAT IS THIS BETRAYAL

username i think we'll never got their content after this like damn mario kart

username who could stand being away from each other? she literally flew from france ALONE just to see him after 16 hours being separated

  ⤷ username Wait you got a point...

maxfewtrell

liked by team_quadrant and 541,200 others

maxfewtrell Trust the click of my camera

view all 5 comments

yourusername Since when did the camera clicked? And why didn't I hear it?

  ⤷ landonorris he got the silent shooter

username SEE WHAT DID I SAY

username how did you get this? i thought that they promised after the bet yesterday?

  ⤷ maxfewtrell I've had enough about their bets actually

comments on this post has been limited

[mymindcreatedthis]

Fitting Room 18+

Misa Rodriguez x Reader

Word count: 1,813

Summery: The girls have been on a winning streak. Misa has been off, Reader confronts her about it cause she’s been an asshole. Misa apologizes to Reader, and makes it up to her. Misa drags reader into a fitting room and gives her a show.

Warning: Smut, Spanking, Squirting, Daddy kink, Rough sex, Teasing, Unprotected sex, blow job, Throat pie, Creampies, Handjob, cumshot, fingering, pussy eating, R doming Misa, Misa Receiving, R bends Misa over her leg and spanks her ass, clit teasing.

*Y/n's pov*

we've been on a winning streak recently. We've beat Brazil, Canada and France and have won all 3 games. Something's been up with Misa though.

She's been more distant and closed off and bitchy lately. We are currently out exploring the city with some of the girls. I was walking in the back with Misa. Me and her are roommates for this camp and it has been awkward and uncomfortable to say the least she's not even talking to me.

She barely talks to me or acknowledges my presence. I look over at her when I hear her mutter something under her breath. I look at her confused but drop it thinking that she was just talking to herself.

Misa notices me looking at her and glares at me. "So wanna tell me what's wrong?" I ask.

I ignore her glare and look at her. "Nothing Y/n don't worry about it." Misa says.

"Well it's obviously both. It's obviously something bothering you. I'm not gonna force you to talk but just know I'm here if you need to talk to someone." I say.

We continue walking behind the girls. After 5 minutes of walking in silence I feel Misa grab my hand. We stop walking.

"Hey, you're right I've had a lot in my mind. I'm sorry I've been an asshole, quiet and distant. It's not right to take it out on you and the girls." Misa says.

I nod and stand there quietly for a minute before speaking up again.

"What's been on your mind?" I ask.

Misa tells me what's been on her mind. I nod and let her know that I'm listening. by the end of it Misa is crying.

I hug her. "Thank you for trusting me with that."

Misa hugs back. "I'm sorry for being an asshole."

"Like you said you have a lot on your mind I completely understand." I say.

We catch up with the rest of the girls. We go into one of the stores and start looking around. Misa was complaining about how she's in need of a new bikini.

We split up and go our separate ways. I go with Misa and we go look at bikinis, Misa grabs a few bikinis she liked.

"Come with me to try them on." Misa says.

I blush darkly and follow Misa into the fitting rooms. The fitting room was private here, it was an actually room. I close the door behind us and lock it. The room at a massive chair in the middle along with a coffee table and a pool table. A mirror in the corner, you go through beads to go into the sitting room there was no door.

Misa goes through the beads into the other room and starts trying on the bikinis.

The first one she tried on was blue. "Eh it's okay, I don't like the color." I say.

Misa nods. After 2 more she comes out wearing a white one. It showed off her curves, it made her ass pop too. Her cleavage was really visible. It also showed off her toned stomach and abs. I bit my lip as I check out the view in front of me.

Misa smirks and walks towards Me. "How does this look?"

"I-It looks g-good." I stutter, I was blushing darkly at the view in front of me. Misa smirks and lean in and whispers in my ear.

"Is someone turned on?" Misa asks.

I blush darkly. "Y-Yes I am." I moan.

Misa kisses my neck and rubs my dick over my shorts. I moan in pleasure as she rubs my dick over my shorts.

"S-Shit." I moan.

Misa smirks and fiddles with my shorts. She looks at me silently asking for permission, I nod. She slides my shorts and boxers down my legs and tosses them off to the side.

Misa holds her forearm up to my dick and laughs a bit. "Fuck baby you're huge." Misa says.

"T-Thanks." I moan.

Misa strokes my dick til I'm hard. She covers my dick in spit and continues to stroke my dick. I moan in pleasure and cover my mouth with my hand.

Misa takes one of my balls in her mouth and starts storming my dick faster. She switches and takes my other ball in her mouth and strokes my dick faster.

"F-Fuck." I moan.

She strokes my dick a bit faster. I moan in pleasure as I feel myself getting closer. "Misa….Misa .. baby I'm close." I moan.

Misa strokes my dick faster and faster. I feel myself getting closer and closer.

Cumshot:

I can't take it anymore, I shoot cum up into the air. It lands on my stomach/ abs, lap. Some lands on Misa’s face. Misa licks my dick, licking up my sticky mess. She licks my cum off her hand and fingers.

"Mmm tasty." Misa says.

Misa takes my dick in her mouth and slowly bobs her head. I moan and hold her hair up as she continues to suck my dick.

"S-Shit." I moan.

Misa bobs her head up and down a bit faster. The tip of my dick hits the back of her throat. She bobs her head faster and faster, I moan as I feel myself getting close.

"S-Shit I'm gonna cum again." I moan.

Misa bobs her head faster than before. She chokes and gags a bit, I feel my balls tighten as my dick hits the back of her throat.

Throat pie:

I can't take it anymore, I bust my load in Misa’s mouth. Misa chokes and gags a bit as I shoot ropes of thick sticky cum in her mouth.

"F-Fuck." I moan as I continue to cum in her mouth. Misa sucks me dry and swallows my load.

Misa gets up and bends over and touches her toes. Her ass was right in my face, she moves the bikini bottoms to the side. I hold her ass, I lean in and start eating her ass from behind. Misa moans as I eat her out.

"Shit Y/n right there. Right there, just like that." Misa moans.

I insert another finger and eat her out as I finger her faster. Misa moans loudly in pleasure.

"S-Shit Y/n, I'm close." Misa moans.

I go faster than before, Misa moans and cums all over my hand, fingers and face.

I lick the cum off my fingers, hand and arm. I wipe her juices off my face, I spank her ass. Misa moans.

"Fuck daddy I love when you spank my ass." Misa moans.

Didn't know Misa was into spanking. I bend her over my leg and continue spanking her ass.

*Spank*

"I love it when you slap my ass." Misa moans.

*Spank*

"Fuck."*

*Spank*

"Daddy."

*Spank*

"Please daddy." Misa begs.

*Spank*

"Please what baby girl?" I ask.

*Spanks*

"Please fuck me." Misa begs.

*Spank*

"You want daddy to fuck you?" I ask.

*Spank*

"Yes fill me up with all your fucking cum." Misa moans.

*Spank*

"Take off your Bikini baby girl." I say.

*Spank*

"Okay daddy." Misa says.

Misa gets up, she takes off her Bikini and tosses it off to the side. I take off my shirt and bra and toss them to the side. Misa walks over to the table in the middle of the room. I walk over to her.

I get behind her, I rub my dick through her folds. Once my dick is wet enough I slowly slide my dick inside her tight soaking wet pussy. We both moan in pleasure, I let her get use to my size.

"Tell me when to move." I say.

"Move." Misa moans.

I hold onto her hips and slowly thrust in and out of her.

"Faster." Misa moans.

I moan and go a bit faster, we both moan in pleasure. "Shit." I moan.

We both moan in pleasure as I thrust in and out of her a bit faster. "Shit daddy you feel so good inside me." Misa moans.

"You feel so good clenched around me baby girl." I moan.

I moan and go faster and faster, I massage my boobs as I thrust into her faster and faster.

Misa moans and Holds onto the table as continue fucking the day light out of her.

"H-Harder daddy harder." Misa moans.

I pound into her faster and harder pounding her g spot. We both moan, I feel myself getting close.

"A-Ah fuck, I'm close." I moan.

"Me too daddy. Don't stop." Misa moans.

I go faster and harder, I moan and run my boobs as I continue fucking the day lights out of her pussy.

"F-Fuck I'm close." I moan.

"Fill me up daddy. Fill up my pussy." Misa moans.

Creampie #1:

I help Misa ride out her high. We both finish cumming, I slowly pull out of her. Cum oozes out of her pussy and floods onto the table and drips onto the floor.

Misa gets in the table and lays on her back. I adjust and move between her legs, I slowly slide my dick back inside her pussy. I hold her legs as I slowly thrust in and out of her.

"Faster daddy faster." Misa moans.

I pick up the pace and pound her pussy faster and faster. "F-Fuck daddy, keep pounding my pussy." Misa moans.

I moan and pound into her faster and faster hitting her g spot. Misa screams in pleasure as I keep going.

I continue to pound her g spot going faster and harder. Misa moans and squirts.

We both scream in pleasure as I pound into her even faster and harder than before. I moan as I feel myself getting close.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum again." I moan.

"Me too daddy, don't stop." Misa moans.

I pick up the pace and pound into her g spot faster and harder. Misa screams in pleasure and squirts again. Misa squirts all over my dick, thighs and all over the ground.

I pound into her pussy faster and harder. I feel myself getting close to cumming.

"I'm gonna cum." I moan.

"Me to daddy drain your balls in me." Misa moans.

Creampie #2:

I can't take it anymore, I bust my load deep inside her tight pussy. Misa moans and cums all over my dick. We both moan as i shoot ropes of thick sticky cum deep inside her painting her walls white.

Cum oozes out of her and drips down her thighs and onto the floor.

"Fuck there's so much." Misa moans.

"Yeah." I rub the back of my neck. "Sorry."

"For what? Don't be sorry, I told you to finish in me." Misa says.

"So I'm guessing you like the white one better?" Misa asks giggling.

"Yeah, definitely the white one." I moan.

[natriae]

A fun white day

warnings: far to loving, deepthroat, masterbation (male), p in v, ushi is soooo pussy drunk (could be read on its own but some characters will not make sense)

5k words

one year later

Poland

"so how are things going with the wife," 

"She's not my wife," Ushijima responded to his teammate in the crowded bar. You're not his wife, yet.

"yeah yeah, did you get her anything for Valentine's day?" He asked, forgetting that the two of you celebrate differently than they do here. 

"We don't do that. She gets me something then I get something for her next month," 

"oh yeah, yeah I forgot," His teammate was far too drunk already while Ushijima hadn't even gotten through his one beer. "Well, I can tell you this. Get her a sex toy! My wife loves the vibrator I got her," Ushijima's face flushed at his friend's comment. Other people at the bar began to look over at them at the outburst. Deciding it was time to go home, Ushijima grabbed his teammate and drove him back to his house. He couldn't even bring himself to look at his wife when she opened the door. 

That night when Wakatoshi got home he was welcomed with a quiet house. You and Isa were in France spending time with Tendou, and Ushijima couldn't go with you guys. Even though that was the plan. Ushijima's manager had scheduled him for an important meeting that he couldn't miss. Sadly, he wasn't able to spend time with his best friend and his now family. He sulked to his room missing your bright energy engulfing him as soon as he opened the door. Once he was ready for bed he got in the covers and pulled out his phone for one last look before hitting the pillow. He thought back to his teammate's remark and searched up sex toys. He's never used one, and he doesn't think you have either. While scrolling through a dildo had caught his eye. It was a custom dildo. He could get a mold of his penis, and you would be able to use it whenever he wasn't there. 

The two of you had now been together for a year. Falling asleep together in the same bed and then waking up tangled in each other's arms. Yet not once had the two of you had sex in your time of being back together. The six foot three man laid in bed thinking about what face you would make when you used the dildo. What face you would make when you were using his own cock. Bouncing up and down on him, and using him for your own pleasure. He felt his dick begin to harden at the thought and attempted to dismiss it, but the thought of you stripping for him made him go crazy. He already has a hard time keeping it in his pants when he watches your thighs jiggle as you walk. He's worried he'd scare you away if he tried initiating it. The last time the two of you did it, at 19 and 18, he left immediately the morning after, but now he knows about after care and all the other stuff. He just needs to prove it to you. He adds the dildo to his cart for now, and he will maybe buy it after post nut clarity. His left hand goes under the covers and in his boxers. He felt like he was 18 again secretly fisting himself after games where you looked so pretty cheering him on. He used to get erections everyday in highschool seeing you, but it interrupted his volleyball practice and deep down he felt terrible for thinking about you that way. He learned to keep it down, and then the two of you finally had sex, but it's been years. He's only had sex once. With you, and his cock had been craving your sweet pussy ever since. He began to slightly stroke his cock in a way he thought you would do it, but it wasn't the same. Your hands were soft and his weren't. He picked up his phone with his right hand and began to scroll through his camera to a picture of you on y'all most recent date. You were wearing an expensive silk dress Ushijima had brought you as a gift from across the world. The photo was of you sitting across from him at the white clothed dinner table in a fancy Italian restaurant. In the photo you were leaning forward a bit so there was a perfect amount of cleavage. His dick jumped a little and a tingle went down his stomach. He began to slowly stroke his dick again as he looked at the picture. He imagined your makeup being ruined from gagging on his thick cock. How loud you would be doing it. How you never do anything half assed, and how you would try and deepthroat him. He thought about your pretty face covered in his cum. How you would thank him for the meal, and begin licking your lips trying to get all of it. He started to think about his cum dripping from your pussy. He couldn't believe he got to fuck you at 19 without a condom, and didn't spread you legs to watch it drip out. He tightened his fist a bit to bring himself a little pain. He wanted to recreate how tight your pussy was that night. Finally what brought him to his high was the thought of your big pregnant belly. Your boobs would get bigger, your face would get rounder, and your thighs would get fatter. He was going feral over the thought of you pregnant with his baby. He quickly threw the covers off of his body, and jerked his cock faster as he reached his high. Small huffs and groans were heard in the small room while the first spurt of cum came out of his cock. He hasn't cum this hard in a long time. He tried to catch his breath pulling out his hand to find it covered in white. Looking down he noticed his boxers had a dark patch on his crotch too. He quickly got changed, and returned to his bed looking at his phone. He looked at the dildo in the cart for a few more minutes before ultimately deciding to buy it.

1 month later

14 March 

Walking into the house both adults couldn't stop thinking about one another. They had just gotten back from dinner, and ushijima was clad in a white button up and black slacks. You, on the other hand, wore the same dress Ushijima got off to just a month ago. You were still unaware of the fact of course. Isa was spending the night at a friend's house allowing you and jima some alone time. When the two of you reached the bedroom you walked up to the broad man and put your hands on his chest. You kissed his jaw and left a peck on his lips. The two of you only kissed a handful of times and made out once. It wasn't unusual, but it was still special to him to receive a kiss. 

"jima," you said in an airy voice. The way you said his name has the blood flowing straight to penis.You were looking up at him and suddenly your large doe eyes weren't as innocent as they were before.

'Can I do more?' he could tell you were asking. He nodded his head once and you left one more peck on his lips. Your hands began trailing down his chest feeling each bump from his muscles through his shirt. You unbuckled his pants and began pulling his shirt out of them. You left small kisses on his jawline and felt the small stumble on your lips. He smelled so good. So manly in a way you would let him do whatever he wanted to you. You began unbuttoning his shirt and slowly lowered yourself as you reached the bottom of his shirt. Now on your knees you looked up at the tall man and his head was looking down at you. He couldn't get over how pretty you looked right now. Both of your faces were flushed red at the intimate moment. His hands remained on the button of his pants and told him, "toshi i've never done this before…i-i'm sorry if it's not good," He watched you in a way that said it's okay. "you're the only person I've had sex with," He remained quiet at your comment. Had he had sex with another person while the two of you weren't together? He watched your eyebrows draw together in thought. He panicked that you got the wrong idea and immediately shook his head. 

"You're the only one I've had sex with. The only one I want to have sex with," He was so sure about everything. You couldn't help but smile and find comfort in his words. You continued to unbutton his pants and bring down the zipper. After you pulled down his pants you looked at the small wet patch on his boxers. You could see his cock jump through the boxers every time you moved your hands on his strong thick thighs. God everything about him was large and muscular. Pushing him back he got the memo to go sit on the plush bench that rested at the end of your bed. Ushijima brought his left hand down to your face and cupped your chin so you looked up at him. He then ran his thumb over your lips before sliding it into your mouth. 

Deciding to give the lucky man a show you closed your eyes and began to slowly lick and suck on his thumb. He gasped a bit in surprise and pulled his thumb out to then work on getting his boxers off. You forgot just how big he was down there. 

It was pretty average length, but he was gurthy. His thick cock hung down while he sat. He was taking his shirt completely off and you sat in awe of the Greek god in front of you. Strong pecs, and eight abs starting right under it. His big biceps that would bulge out in every shirt he wore. There was a prominent V-line and green haired happy trail that led from his belly button down to his beautiful cock. He was so veiny and inviting. He's cock seemed so heavy it could barely hold itself up. You left small kisses starting at his knee trailing up his leg til you reached his pelvis. Then you repeated the same on the other side. Both of you thought back to how he did the same to you all those years ago. It felt so good and you haven't even touched him yet. 

You lifted your hand and put one on his cock and the other rested on his thigh. You heard toshi take in a breath of air throught his teeth as soon as you touch him. He was so sensitive right now. He could cum at any moment if you let him. You sat up a little on your knees and let a glob of spit slowly drip down from your mouth. Landing perfectly on the mushroom head. His pretty, dark red, leaking tip. His dick was a bit tanner then the rest of him and it made him all more appealing. You lifted his dick up more so it stood straight and leaned you head down to lick a soft stripe on a vein that started in between his balls and up to his tip. He had such big balls. They hung down over the side of the plush bench, and you couldn't help yourself but pay more attention to them. No wonder you got pregnant the first time with those big breeder balls. If Ushijima could see into your head right now all he would hear is the word cock over and over again. He jumped a bit when you cupped his ball and put it into your mouth. You suck gently on it while you fondle the other. You switched and repeated it on the opposite ball. You stopped when you saw his thigh begin to shake from the simulation. 

You looked up to see your 'toshi watching you with hooded eyes as you left small kisses and kitten licks on the head of his cock. Finally you moved your head down to take it in. You started sucking softly on the head giggling a bit at his expressions. He looked so pretty. His head started to lean back, but he kept forcing himself to look down at you. His mouth was open and his chest kept rising and falling. You moaned around him and he let out a gasp. His groans were music to your ears as you tried to force his cock deeper. Taking him out of your mouth you spit on his dick again and begin moving your hand up and down jerking him off. When you began to suck again you felt a large palm thread through your hair pushing you lightly down on his cock. The master bedroom was full of so many sounds from just two people. Gagging, groaning, and gasping was all that could be heard. You could tell 'toshi was close by his abs tightening up and his breathing picking up. While you sucked on his cock you forced yourself to deepthroat him. You stuck your tongue out to lick between his balls as tears began to fall from your eyes. At one particularly loud gag that had spit seeping from both sides of your mouth Wakatoshi pulled you off as you coughed for air. He stood up and began jerking his wet cock off at the sight of your flushed face with red, teary eyes. Your eyes held so much love. Your large doe eyes looked up at the man as he came undone. His head leaned back and he closed his eyes tightly as he came all over your face. You tried to stick your tongue out to catch the thick ropes, but most of it landed on your face and your pretty black dress leaving it stained by your loving boyfriend's semen. 

Once Wakatoshi composed himself he hooked his hands under your arms and brought you to your feet. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you harder than he ever has. There was so much passion in the kiss. He didn't want you to get away from him. The cum that was on your nose got on his and he couldn't care less about it. He licked your bottom lip and then inserted it into your mouth. As your tongues danced together he began unzipping your dress and letting it drop to the floor. When he finally departed from you he saw the tears fall from your eyes. You had a small smile on your face and watched his eyes roam around your face. 

"Why are you crying, bunny?" His deep voice had a small crack in it as he spoke. He was very worried that you were in pain. Had he done too much? Did you not enjoy it as much as he did? Did you not want to move forward?

"because i'm happy," You said, his hands raised to your face and you placed your hands over top of his, "i'm so happy right now," There were small cracks in your voice as you spoke though sniffles, tears, and your quivering lip . You really were so happy. There was so much love between the two of you and just a year ago you were convinced everything was lost for you. But here he was holding you close. Skin to skin. Wanting to show you through his actions how much he loved you. He nodded his head once and dropped his hands to your thighs. He wanted you to jump so you did. Wrapping your arms around his neck, and your legs around his waist. He turned around and gently laid you on the bed treating you like glass. He kissed down your body starting at your lips then down your neck, to your chest. One kiss on each of your breasts above your bra. Then down your tummy, one each on your hips, then he lifted up each leg at a time and kissed up to your calf. He came back up to your panties and left one kiss on your pussy through the item of clothing. His eyes were shut and he stayed there for a moment before opening his eyes and looking up at you. He looks so pretty between your legs, and he thinks you look so pretty from this view. His brain short circuited when he looked back down at your panties covering your heat. Without thinking much more his strong arms reached up and ripped your underwear open. You gasped at the force in which he ripped them off. 

"jima-" you gasped, but he seemed far too hypnotized to look up or even react to your outburst. He wanted nothing more than to stuff his face in your beautiful pussy.

"if you lick it, it's yours," 

"huh," you said, what does he even mean by that?

"tendou always said that if you lick it, it's yours, so if i lick it does that mean it's mine?" He asked, still not looking away from the glistening hole.

You giggled finally realizing what he meant and you nodded your head, "yes baby, if you lick it it's yours'" you couldn't help but continue to giggle until you felt his tongue lick up your already wet pussy. God, it's been far too long. He was basically making out with your pussy at this point. Kissing and sucking. He brought his left hand up and used his pointer finger to begin drawing small circles on your clit. His face kept looking up to yours and back down to your pussy to make sure you were feeling good. It was so hot to see the bottom half of his face covered in your slick, and how his eyes showed that he still wanted more. Shoving his face back between your legs, his tongue started to move in and out of your pussy. He'd curl it up as soon as he got it as far as he could then scoop your cum out. Eventually he moved his left hand down from your clit and slowly brought his middle finger into your vagina. You were still so tight, and his singular finger was so thick. Eventually he tried fitting in another, and then a third. Your loud moans could probably be heard from around the block. He was more than proud of himself. You caught his small smirk before he went to suck on your clit. You brought your hands down once you felt the small knot tighten in your stomach. Noticing your hands tugging and pulling on his hair he started speeding up a bit at his fingering. He was still sucking on your clit and his tongue kept flicking the small bean. It felt like you were gonna pee again. It felt like the future and the past were all meshing together as your thighs tightened around his head as you came. 

When he crawled back up so the two of you were face to face he took his forearm and wiped at his mouth, and oh my god was he sexy.

"I need to grab a condom," He told you in his deep, sultry voice. You immediately shook your head no and tightened your hold on his shoulders. " I need words, bunny." 

"no, no condom please," You could barely think and his cock wasn't even in you yet.  Your bottom lip jutted out as you gave him your best doe eyes. You wanted nothing more than to feel his fat, veiny cock hitting your cervix and the risk of having his baby again. You could tell in his face that he wanted it too. He wanted to watch his cum leak out of your used pussy, and leave you nothing but cock drunk on your toshi. Yours. Everything is for you. He seemed careful about what he should do next so for a little more convincing you started rubbing the front of your right foot on the backside of his thigh as you reached behind your back and uncliped your bra. He noticed your struggle to take the bra off, and when he turned to throw it in the laundry basket you quickly brought him back down on top of you. Slightly shoving your boobs in his face. For such a big man he had such a simple mind. You began pawing at his chest and he finally got the hint. With one arm holding him up beside your head he reached down to grab his cock and begin lining it up to your pussy. You spread your legs a little bit wider as he began to rub his cock over your pussy. When it got caught on your clit you let out the most beautiful whine. He started with just the tip letting you adjust, and then slowly started to sink down. You were so lucky. You have such a handsome man on top of you, and he seemed just as out of breath as you are. He closed his eyes and let out a quiet groan at how tight your pussy was gripping him. He loved it, and no matter how badly he wanted to cum he wouldn't allow himself until you came first. If there was one thing he was good at it was discipline. He felt your arms hook over his shoulders again once he halted. He was balls deep, but he still would listen to anything you wanted. Pulling him down a bit your noses touched as you left a feather light kiss on his lips. 

"Do it hard, please," is all you had to say for Toshi to get the memo. He slowly pulled his hips back just to slam them in hard. He repeated this as your moans got louder. He got more excited hearing your beautiful voice and began to speed up. 

"toshi, toshi, toshi," you said smiling and giggling, " I know you're excited right now, but that kinda hurts me," you knew he didn't quite understand his own strength sometimes. He quickly apologized and began going at a medium speed.

"Is this good?" he asked as he watched your face contort and you bite your lip. 

"uh toshi~ it's perfect baby," You moaned again after finishing your sentences and tears fell down your face. How could you ever think this was painful, maybe it's because of childbirth and your vagina isn't the same as it used to be but this feels heavenly. He started grunting and breathing heavily like a bull as your fingers clawed at muscled back. He wanted to make you feel so good, and he was doing just that. 

"tosh-toshi uh i'm gonna cum baby," His mouth was now open a bit, and he gazed down at you unable to handle how good he felt. Everytime his abs would clench your pussy would clench too. It was so soft. His fist couldn't compare. 

"i'm gonna cum too," is all he could get out before he started letting out quiet whimpers that gradually got louder as both of you came. His body fell on top of yours and you wrapped your arms and legs around him to ride out your high. Once Toshi stopped whimpering and whining you couldn't help but get sad. To hear such a strict and disciplined man whimper over your pussy was like music to your ears and totally added to how wet you already were. 

His head now rested on your chest as you brought your hand up to begin massaging his scalp. You could feel his chest rise and fall as his dick came out of your now messy vagina, but his relaxing stopped as soon as he hopped up like he just remembered something. He scooted down a bit on the bed and lifted both your legs up in an attempt to bring your knees to your chest. 

"jima what are you doing," 

"Watching," is all he said as he stared at your pussy, "push," 

"huh?"

"push like you're going to pee," his eyes did not once move away from your pussy. He watched as the white liquid came dripping out of your pussy in fat globs. God, he swore he was gonna come again on the spot. You tried to look down as much as you could just to see the man absolutely hypnotized. You don't think you've ever seen him this focused in your life. When he finally got out of his trance he gazed up at you and then walked into the bathroom.

You lifted yourself up jumping at the sticky, uncomfortable coldness between your legs to try and figure out what he was doing. You heard  the faucet for the bathtub begin and you panicked that he was just gonna leave you here alone like he did last time. You leaned back on the king size bed and covered your eyes with your hands. Ushijima came back into the bedroom and began lifting you up bridal style. Your hands quickly left your eyes staring at the man in confusion. What was he doing? He then began walking with you into the bathroom and gently set you in the tub where the warm water was still filling. He disappeared once more to strip the bed, and then finally climbed into the tub behind you. Toshi wrapped his arms around you and brought you to lean back on his chest in the warm water. You could really get used to this. 

~~later that night~~

Crawling into bed you saw Toshi come running out of the bathroom in his boxers. He had just finished brushing his teeth, and remembered that he had a gift for you. Coming out of the walk-in closet you couldn't help but watch his abs as he moved. He had eight of them. You smiled at the fact as he sat down on the bed facing you and handed you your gift. It was a smallish rectangle box and you kept glancing up at his unmoving face as you began to rip the wrapping paper off. You didn't quite get what you were looking at until you turned the box to the side and saw the dildo displayed.

"Jima!" you shouted at him. There was a large text box that wrote 'customizable to a specific penis'. "you didn't!" 

"Do you not like it?" he asked with genuine confusion displayed on his face. Your jaw was on the floor unable to believe the gift he got you.

bonus bonus:

Ushi: where did you learn to give head like that?

you: i read....a lot

tags: @mineta-phobic @rukia-uchiha-98 @ssc7514 @megumuro

[luminouslywriting]

Hii wanted to request a Bob headcannon, them with a French risistant

Ahh this is a super fun idea! Admittedly, I don't know a ton about the French resistance, but I'll give it my best go! Reminder that my requests are open for BoB, MOTA, and the Pacific!

More under the cut, cut for length:

Dick Winters:

-Really impressed with your work and works with you well.

-The relationship is born from a mutual respect and friendship—combined with shared goals, it makes it easy for the two of you to connect and fall in love.

-You promise to take him to Paris one day and you are the one who accompanies him on his leave :)

-Admittedly, he does worry about you because your job puts you in the line of fire, but he trusts you and your ability to handle yourself above all else.

-Does his best to learn some French and it's very very American sounding still, but hey, he's trying haha

-Waits until the end of the war to make a move because he doesn't want to mess things up with you

Lewis Nixon:

-Enjoys getting to know you during intelligence reports and other espionage acts. Is very impressed by you. -Loves talking French culture and appreciated your music and art a ton….he’s an educated man, after all haha. -Thinks you need to let loose every now and then with a drink and definitely offers it more than once haha. -Comes to talk to you about the most random things; from strategy to drinking to his marriage problems to your life story. -Always expresses gratitude and appreciation for the sacrifices you make to help Easy Co along. -Probably hooks up with you at least once and then admits he’s fallen for you shortly before the war ends lol

Ronald Speirs:

-Pretends not to listen to any of the stories about you and mostly succeeds. He just figures out the truth and has mad respect for you and your job. -Scary girlfriend with scary dog boyfriend privileges?? Sign me up. -Loves getting to work with you in any capacity and will swap tips and tricks for taking people down haha

-Please just have a hot spar session with him. It’s life changing, I promise. -Learns French quietly and on his own to better communicate with you. -Probably comes back to Europe after the war to sweep you off your feet and admit his love.

Buck Compton:

-In awe??? You’re very cool and he’s very aware of that haha. -Compliments you very sincerely and probably tries to get into whatever sports teams that you have in France. -Also a college boy who is considering doing college in Europe solely so he can see you after haha

-Learns all of your body language so he can better understand how you’re feeling about things without having to ask you plainly. -Is a great support system so please be a great support to him as well. -Invite him to come recover in France, he’ll love that!

Carwood Lipton:

-Painfully shy about being impressed by you and your skillset. But he’s also paying close attention and praising your work. -A great friend and ally to have wherever you travel. He’ll always have your back. -He’s quietly harboring a crush that he would be mortified if anyone found out. Easy Company does find out and ships you two quite a bit. -Is not going to make a move until Austria though because he knows that the war is a messy situation and relations between countries are already stressed. -Very sweet about supporting you and always checks in on your emotions and how your family is doing. He CARES okay??? -Everyone is convinced you two are going to be married one day haha.

Joe Liebgott:

-Love at first sight?? Like DAYUM he is impressed and starry eyed and immediately flirting with you the first chance he gets. -It does not go well and he needs a whole redemption friend arc where he proves himself to be a good friend first. -Has cute German pet names for you that he will never speak aloud lol. -Probably invites you to his foxhole for warmth (there’s only some slight innuendos in that instance)

-Makes a move shortly after Bastogne because that was sobering to realize mortality was so frail and it all just works out. -You are the only person he will share his chocolate with haha.

Donald Malarkey:

-Meets you on D-Day and is just ???? Shook??? Bc who are you and where did you come from and how are you so cool? -He’s super easy to talk to and connect with. He loves talking to you and hearing about your life. -Also just wants to introduce you to American food and sports haha. -Writes home to his family about you in passing and they are sus as hell about that haha

-Really gets to know you after his friends die and leave after Bastogne and relies on you a lot. You’re a great strength to him. -Probably asks you if you’d like to come home to the US with him :)

Eugene Roe:

-HE SPEAKS FRENCH, YOU SPEAK FRENCH, instant besties, if only because he understands exACTLY what you’re saying haha 🤣

-You two gravitate easily towards each other for this reason but also, it’s really nice to have someone with actual medical training on your side. -He loves hearing French folktales and legends and he’ll share some American and Cajun ones with you

-Always is the first to check on you after espionage missions or after you’ve been on the line. He wants to make sure you’re doing okay. -Honestly very devoted to you but knows that the timing isn’t right and you both have jobs to do. -But a hand hold here or there wouldn’t hurt…and neither would inviting him to France and to meet your family after the war haha

Bill Guarnere:

-An Italian American and his French S/O walk into a bar….truly the start to an iconic joke….except you two are great together?? -He falls for your devotion and the way in which you are so passionate about things. And he definitely lets you know that. -He starts planning things out pretty early on and if you don’t have any family left, he’d be happy to make an honest Italian American out of you lol. -Consistently had your back in battle and watches out for you. -Go home with him to the US after he gets injured and he’ll take care of him. You’ll get a home and a family and someone who will love you forever. -Honestly?? Too cute.

Joe Toye:

-Not about to admit that he thinks you’re badass but he certainly tells everyone else that haha

-Likes to see you relax and have fun with the guys and prioritizes making sure you feel included

-Is a great listener if you ever want to talk about how you’re feeling or what’s been going on lately

-Trains with you on shooting and hand to hand combat and is eager to learn from you as much as he wants to teach you too

-Definitely wrote back home to his family about you and admitted his feelings before Bastogne.

-Go home with him please :) he’ll love you forever

George Luz:

-This man probably has so many nicknames for you (a la Tony Stark style) and it’s a witty banter filled friendship. -He’s not afraid of telling you how he feels and is very good at watching your six in the field. -Is the type of guy to attempt horrible flirting in broken French. It’s painful for everyone haha. -Everyone is aware that you two like each other and they’re coming to with increasingly deranged ways to get you two together. -Loved hearing you talk about history and your culture and hobbies. It’s one of the few times he’s completely quiet and attentive. -Comes back to Europe in a romantic grand gesture after the war to sweep you off of your feet.

[redbirdandbluebird23]

To Bite or not to Bite

Masterlist

Written for the Batman Halloween Bash 2024 (@wait-whos-batman) in collaboration with @graytodd whose art can be found here!

“So, are we talking like a full Dracula situation, or like a Twilight situation? Because they’re completely different scenarios.” Jason says, trying to suppress the urge to laugh hysterically because while there were a lot of things he was prepared for tonight, this was absolutely not one of them. Haley continues winding around his ankles, trying to get his attention, but Jason can’t shift his focus from Dick right now. 

Dick gives him a scathing look from where he’s sat on the floor on the other side of the room, still looking like he’s ready to bolt out of the window if Jason tries getting any closer. 

“You can give me that look all you want, but I think it’s a relevant worry. Like are you going to need to sleep in a coffin or shit like that? What exactly do I need to know here?” Jason asks, shifting very slowly further into the room, not missing the way Dick’s eyes are tracking him with an unnatural precision. 

“I already told you what you need to know.” Dick says, his eyes flickering to the wooden stake on the floor that he’d practically thrown at Jason’s feet when he first walked in. 

“And I already told you; fuck that!” Jason snaps. “The fact you even asked me gives me all the reasons I need to refuse. So, I’ll ask you again, what do I need to know ?”

“They’re dead, the rest of them, I killed them.” Dick says, not looking at Jason and instead focusing on a random spot on the wall. 

“They were already dead, Dickie, I don’t think it really counts.” Jason folds down to sit cross-legged on the floor, still not too close given the look Dick shoots him. It gives Haley the chance she’s been waiting for as she immediately crawls into his lap and tries to lick his chin. He grabs her around the middle and scratches between her ears instead. 

Dick gives him a look that suggests he doesn’t agree, but he doesn’t try to argue. “From what they were saying, most of the myths are true. Blood, no sunlight, silver, stakes, crosses; all of that is true. The garlic and coffin thing is bullshit though. But that’s probably also where the main issue lies.”

“There’s a bigger issue than not being able to go out in daylight anymore?” Jason asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“I have to sleep with ancestral dirt, as in the dirt from where I was born and apparently there are consequences if I don't. Although they were a little vague on what the consequences will be.” 

“I mean, that won’t be too hard to get hold of, even if you can’t go outside during the day.” Jason says, not quite seeing the problem. 

Dick bites his lip and looks away from him again. “Jay, I don’t know where I was born and it’s not like I can just ring my parents and ask.”

“Doesn’t Bruce have your birth certificate?” Jason asks, well aware that Bruce made sure he now had everyone’s birth certificates after what happened to Jason because of his. 

“My birth was registered in France, due to my mom’s dual citizenship, when I was a few months old, but I don’t think I was actually born in France, no matter what the certificate says.” Dick says, pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them. It draws Jason’s attention to how pale he looks, but it’s not in a sickly kind of way, more that he looks carved from marble compared to his usual tan tones. 

Jason chews his lip and continues scratching Haley’s ears as he thinks about what to say next. “What about someone from the circus? Would they know? You could frame it as looking into your family history or some shit like that and then we can get some dirt.” Christ, that is a sentence he never expected to say. 

��Oh yeah, that could work. I’ll call Pop Haley.” Dick says quietly as he stands up and makes his way into the bedroom. Jason knows he’s still not entirely on board with the whole living as a vampire thing, but he waits until Dick’s out of sight before grabbing the stake off the floor and promptly throwing it out of the window. 

Haley barks at him and nudges at his leg as he grips the window ledge and takes a deep breath. This is… complicated in a way he doesn’t know how to deal with. “ Fuck . What am I gonna do Hales?”

Read on Ao3

[phantoms-lair]

If you're still taking crossover roulette requests, 59 please.

Tim had he doubts about being Robin. About whether he was good enough to follow in the footsteps of Dick, of Jason. That's why he was in Paris, supposed to be training with an old acquaintance of Bruce's.

Except said old acquaintance was no longer here. And now Tim had to figure out what to do next.

"Yen for your thoughts?" A Japanese youth sat next to him.

"Who are you?' Tim asked.

The teen shrugged. "Just a guy who's down on his luck and hearing your woes will distract me from my own."

Tim weighed his words. "I was in training for a position that requires three things. Intelligence, stealth, and combat ability. The first two I can do, the last I need more training. I was supposed to meet a specialist here, but he's gone and now I don't know what to do. Going back home feels like admitting defeat. That I failed. And I can't, I promised..."

"And promises are important. I get that." he nodded his head and winced. "That guy you were sent here to find...it didn't happen to be Ramuh Lama or his grandson?"

Tim sat up straight.

"Of course," the Japanese guy muttered. "So I have a friend who's a little...spatially challenged. We say he gets lost easily but it more than that. Unless he's being led to a place, he sort of...teleports randomly. And he never believes it's as bad as it is as he always gets to where he wants to go...eventually. I made the mistake of following him instead of leading him and that's why I'm in Paris. We heard about Ramuh Lama and thought he'd be interesting to learn from. Our first meeting seemed promising, but my guess is Ryoga tried to lead them somewhere because all three up and vanished. So they'll show back up. Eventually."

Tim buried his head in his hands.

"Hey, maybe we can help each other out." the Japanese guy said brightly. "I don't speak French and I'm not very bright, but the one thing I know how to do is fight. I've never taught before, but if Pop's can do it, I can! Well, maybe not how Pops did it, but I'll figure it out! So I'll teach you how to fight, and you help me, like, get a place to stay without people asking for an ID. Deal?"

"You don't want a way home?" Tim asked.

The guy winced. "I did at first. But...gonna be honest, living rough in France has been way less stressful. So I don't mind prolonging it until Ryoga gets back."

Sounded like something for Tim to look into. Not just a bad home life, but apparently someone who only barely knew the warning signs of one. "Call me Robin."

"Ranma." the now named Ranma grinned. "Oh I know how to start this off!"

~

"What is this place?"

"Underground fighting arena." Ranma said. "Food and rent for me, and a menu for you."

"A menu?" Tim asked.

"There are as many different ways of fighting as there are fish in the sea. I'll enter, thankfully some of the organizers speak English, and you'll watch. Not who wins or loses, but how different competitors fight, so you'll know what you want to learn."

"Rent? I thought you couldn't find a place to stay?"

Ranma shrugged. "I can't because I don't speak French and a foreigner without reservations is weird enough people are going to look into me and then I get in trouble for entering the country illegally. But I'm going to need money for when you fix that." Thankfully fast food places were less discerning.

Ranma went to the fighter's area and Tim settled in among the betters. He had some ideas going through his head. A weapon to make up for his smaller size and reach. Probably a style like Judo where he could take advantage of his opponents being bigger than him. He noted different moves as he saw them, mentally cataloging asking Ranma to teach him. And then Ranma took the arena, four men set against him when previously that fights had been one on one.

And Tim felt something click inside him. Ranma was strong, that was undeniable. But he didn't fight like someone who was strong. He played with his opponents, matching their capabilities, but able to amp it up when he felt it necessary. He was fast, almost too fast for Tim to see. He played his foes against each other, maneuvering them in each other's way and setting them all up for a fall.

This...this was how Robin should fight. All the techniques and holds Tim had been cataloguing were discarded. And for a moment he felt bad that he was grateful Ryoga had wandered off with Ramuh Lama.

He was looking down at the Robin he wanted to be. And thankful he had him as a teacher.

~~~~

Notes on this:

Ranma can speak English because the Chi Vampire is an excellent motivations to excel in class.

Tim gives Robin as his name because that's how he identifies himself to Chuck in the comics this is taking place during

Tim WILL learn the Umi-Sen Ken

Tim offers to bring Ranma back to Gotham. Ranma declines. Catwoman lives there.

Yes, they're both going to run into Lady Shiva and get some training

Shiva is very impressed with Ranma, and at one point while fighting in his female form comments that if he had been closer to her age, David Cain might have approached her for birthing a weapon for him.

Tim and Ranma add tracking down Cassandra Cain to their to do list.

Tim shows back up at Wayne Manor several months late, with very scary fighting skills and two dark haired kids he's adopted as siblings(Ranma caved on coming to help with Cass and the assurance that Catwoman only came out at night).

Alfred is now concerned that Tim is FAR more like Master Bruce than previously thought

[lqvesoph]

her ex - pablo gavi

gif by @gavidaily

Summary: Your boyfriend is playing extra agressive today and maybe it has something to do with a certain player from the opposite team, your ex boyfriend Pierre

masterlist taglist

"He's playing quite agressive, isn't he?", Aurora asked, nodding towards her brother. "It's Pablo, he always plays aggressive", you chuckled, playing it down but you had noticed it as well.

Your boyfriend was extra agressive today, especially towards one particular member of the opposite team. Your ex boyfriend Pierre had transferred to Sevilla during the winter transfer window.

And to your displeasure you had the chance to talk to him already...

"Y/n? Is that you?", you heard a voice behind you. You turned away from Ferran and Alejandro but when you saw who had called your name, you wanted to turn away again.

"Pierre", you said, looking at him.

Your ex-boyfriend had a smile on his face and went in for a hug but you stepped back. The two Barça players gave you a questioning look.

"What do you want?", you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. "Just wanted to say hello, we haven't seen each other in ages", the blond boy grinned with a strong french accent. "Hmm, maybe just a thought for your tiny little brain. Could it be because you cheated on me?", you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

Pierre shook his head with a smirk.

"C'mon, you're still mad about it", he laughed. You snorted and shook your head in disbelief.

Then you turned back to the two boys, but Pierre grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him. You hastily snatched it from him.

"Let me go!", you said, raising your voice.

"Hey!", someone called behind you and shortly afterwards you felt Alejandro pulling you behind him. "And who are you?", Pierre asked bit-approvingly and looked down at Alejandro, who was least half a head smaller.

"I could ask you the same thing", he said and looked at the Sevilla player. "Ale, leave it", you muttered and pulled on his arm.

"I'm her boyfriend", Pierre grinned.

You frowned and shook your head.

"You lost every privilege to ever say that again", you cut in before Alejandro could say anything, you really didn't want Pierre to know details about your private life with Gavi. "Pierre, I told you 6 months ago and my mind hasn't changed. I don't want you in my life and I never want to see you again. Bye", you said with a sharp voice.

You took Alejandro's arm and pulled him back to Ferran.

"Y/n, je t'aime I love you", he called. "Bien, je ne le fais pas! Je te deteste! Well, I don't. I hate you", you called back and turned around again. "On peut en parler? Can we talk?", he asked, sounding almost desperate, but you knew it was all just for show.

You were tired of hearing his false excuses.

"Je n'ai rien à te dire, arrête, ne me dérange plus I have nothing to say to you, stop, don't bother me anymore", were your last words before you turned to the two Barcelona players.

"What was that all about?", Ferran asked, nodding in the direction of Pierre. "He's my ex boyfriend, Pierre Dubois. He cheated on me but apparently still thinks I'm his property", you explained, rolling your eyes.

"You speak French?", Alejandro then asked. You nodded. "I lived in France and had French in school", you replied. "We dated for about a year but 6 months of that he was cheating on me", you kept going.

"Dick", Ferran mumbled and continued doing his warm-up.

---

Your boyfriend had received a yellow card in the first half, for a more than nasty tackle against none other than your ex boyfriend Pierre. Your brother Pedri had hissed besides you, saying he'll get at least a yellow card for this.

At half time, you went down to the players tunnel. Being Pedris sister granted you VIP access and even though he's told you that no one likes to have intruders in this area during the game, you needed to see your boyfriend.

"Pablito?", you asked, lifting your brow. Gavi rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what you were talking about.

"He was bothering you before the game, so I slightly pushed him", he explained, wrapping an arm around you as soon as the cameras couldn't catch you anymore. "I know him", you replied, your voice sounding muffled as your face was pressed to his chest.

"Oh, sorry", your boyfriend replied, pausing in his tracks in front of the dressing room. "He's my ex boyfriend." Gavi slightly pulled back from you. "I'll take the "sorry" back", he said with a stern look. You chuckled and went in for an actual hug this time.

"Still you shouldn't have fouled him", you murmured. "It wasn't even a yellow", Gavi said, rolling his eyes. "It was at least yellow, Pedri was worried you'll be send off", you told him, pulling back to look at the boy.

His cheeks were still flushed from the cold air outside, so you put your warm fingers against his freezing skin.

"It was a tackle", he tried to talk himself out of it but wasn't looking at you, telling you that he was lying. "A pretty nasty one", you chuckled, placing your lips on his.

Gavi's fingers digged deeper in your puffy jacket and pulled you a little closer. He tried to deepen the kiss but you pulled back, quickly putting a finger on his lips to prevent him from going in for another kiss.

"You have to go inside, your team is waiting", you chuckled. "They can wait", he whispered, pulling your finger down and pressing his lips to yours.

"Uh-uh", you mumbled, pushing him back by the shoulders. "Plenty of time for this later", you giggled, turning him around and pushing him toward the door.

"See you later", he laughed.

You shook your head with a smirk and turned around to go back outside but stopped in your tracks when your eyes met the brown ones of none other than Pierre.

He huffed and turned around. You rolled your eyes. He has no right in hell to act jealous right now.

So that's how you ended up here. The second half started and Gavi played at least as agressive as in the first half.

Before you could think about it any further, Gavi had been passed the ball by Ferran, giving him a great opportunity to run towards the goal but just before he had the chance to shoot, an opponent slided right into him, which brought him to the grass.

But Gavi was quick up on his feet again, pushing the Sevilla player back. You stood up from your seat to get a better view of what was happening.

You groaned when you figured out who the Sevilla player was your boyfriend was fighting with.

Pierre and Gavi had grabbed each others collar, pushing each other back before grabbing the other again.

Sergio tried to get Gavi away from the fight but he wasn't having it. The ref's constant whistle didn't help either.

Most of their teammate were around them by now, trying to pull them off each other.

You saw how they were yelling at each other, before Pierre lifted his hand, slapping Gavi across his face. Aurora and you gasped in unison and the stadium erupted in loud screams of protest.

The short pause of shock gave Busquets the opportunity to pull Gavi back by his shoulders. The boy was holding his nose, still looking back at Pierre who received a straight red card from the referee.

Pierre shock his head, getting guided away by two of his teammates.

The referee turned around to find Gavi, showing him his second yellow card of the day, it being followed by a red card.

Busquets brought him to the sidelines, talking to him in a calming matter. He guided him to the medical staff of Barcelona who followed Gavi down the tunnel, inside the changing rooms.

"I'll go see him", you mumbled, hectically standing up from your seat.

You walked through the empty halls of the stadium, knocking on the dressing rooms door before opening it.

Gavi sat on one of the benches, pressing a tissue to his bleeding nose. José stood next to him, inspecting his nose from the side. "It doesn't seem to be broken. Does it hurt?", he asked.

Pablo caught sight of you standing in the door. You closed it behind you, making José look towards you as well.

"No", Gavi snapped.

"I'll leave him to you", José said before leaving the room, leaving you alone with your boyfriend.

You nodded and took a few steps closer to Pablo. "You okay?", you asked. Your voice barely louder than a whisper.

Gavi looked down, not answering. You moved to sit next to him, placing your hand on top of his thigh.

It gave you a little confidence when he didn't shrug your hand off, so you moved your hand further up.

"Hey", you mumbled, putting your hand to his cheek and turning his head so he'd look at you. "He's an ass, he's always been", you spoke, making Gavi chuckle humorless.

"Bebe, what's wrong?", you asked, letting your hand fall from his cheek. "He made me get a red card", Gavi spoke.

You leaned your head on his shoulder. "And?"

"All these injuries are freaking me out. Pedri, Ansu, Lewy, Ous. We're playing Real on Thursday for God's sake. And then the media... I- he was just there, provoking me and Ferran mentioned something about him cheating on you, so I- just... I don't know", Gavi started rambling.

"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay", you whispered, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb.

"Did he really- you know, cheat on you?", Gavi spoke up after a few minutes of silence. You nodded. "Yeah, with my best friend", you chuckled humorless.

Gavi lifted his head. "Seriously?", he called. "What a prick!!"

"Found them in bed together after coming home from college", you elaborated further. "Maybe I should've pushed him harder", Pablo mumbled.

You couldn't help but grin.

"How's your nose?", you changed the topic, seeing that he wasn't holding the tissue up to his nose anymore.

"The bleeding stopped", he said, showing you the blook soaked tissue. You nodded stood up. "Then let's get you cleaned up", you smiled, holding out a hand for him to grab.

taglist

@im-an-overthinker @buendiabebeta @hungryhungariann @eve-eh @ohthemisssery @kenopsiababe @starlightoctavia @sawendel @lechefian @teamspideyman @enjoymyloves @alireads27 @ricsaigaslec @ravenqueen27 @whatever-comes-to-me @squidwardsluverxx @temqr1 @leclerc16s @lavinyx @dudelovesstuff @theamazingsimplethings-blog @coldmuffinbanditshoe @hotchnisscm97 @bellasummer @andtheworldiscrashingdownonme @moneymasnn @justme2042 @organasith @idkiwantchocolatee @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @pleasantducktimetravel @anthonykatebridgerton @juno-1610 @lisannehus @hannahholland1811 @marvelousmendess @lighttsoutlewis @mydutchproblem @dan3avocado @alwaysclassyeagle @cocomira @hopiiex @allthisfortommy @soleilgrec @cheeryara-blog @person234 @aquamariene-me @judespoision @klouise12345 @sbgal @teti-menchon0604

when i first made my taglist i forgot to sort them, so i added everyone who wanted me to, to my overall taglist. if you want to be changed to a specific taglist, please let me know.

also if your tag is not working, I'm sorry but I don't know why

[saberamane]

So I haven't put too many of my thoughts on Valhalla out, aside from my frustration on the anomalies, so heres some things I've liked so far, found, or otherwise want to comment on.

First off, I have to mention some 'false advertising' I've noticed. In the store section there's a 'weekly free gift' thing. This is wrong, it's more of a free gift every 7 days you start up the game. I played yesterday, the first time in well over a week, and it said I still had 2 days until I could collect my weekly gift. So 'weekly gift' is not accurate.

I really like the standing stone things, they're pretty cool. The cairns have been a bit problematic in some aspects, but not too bad.

I finished all the beast hunts. They were all cool and interesting, but I have to say I was a bit disappointed about the 3 wolves one. Only 1 head is mounted in the long house. It would have been better imo if all 3 wolves were included.

The black shuck was awesome. I wish there was more English folk legends included in the hunts and not just oversized local wildlife.

The mystery things are usually cool, I just wish they acted more like mini missions and had general goal markers and not just 'look around the large oak tree' told to me by a note or person.

The raids are pretty fun, just wish there wasn't so many things to upgrade that I need so much exotic supplies for.

Fuck those skull curse things. In general they're fine, but the fact that your movement and sight gets impaired is annoying. You want me to solve how to find and destroy this skull thing while it's hard to see and move? Not fun.

I wish the horses had more variety that's not part of a set locked behind money. You get black, graying (the dark dappled one), a dark brown, brown/white paint, and a white horse with black mane and tail. Where are the gold horses? No buckskin, palomino, cremello, pearlino. At the very least buckskin is naturally occurring in wild horses and should be available, right? And don't get me started on the Roan coats.

So yeah, horse variety for free is not great. There are plenty of raven ones though and I really like them.

Now, something I've noticed in game that makes me believe that female Eivor is the 'canon' choice:

For one, I've noticed at least twice where, while playing as male Eivor, an NPC referred to Eivor as 'she' or 'her', and this is during main story requests.

During a recent story quest where I'm helping the alderman reunite with a childhood sweetheart and getting his wife back to france, you request the help of a 17 y/o Dane named Rollo. During most 9f the quests with him, he is shown as being about Eivor's height, maybe a small bit shorter. The very last cutscene shows Rollo as suddenly being a lot taller than Eivor.

This has happened several times. In game Eivor is on par or slightly taller than those around him, but in cutscenes he is suddenly MUCH shorter. This is both annoying because it's inconsistent, but also seems like the development was rushed or people just didn't care about this detail.

But also, if Eivor is supposed to be Odin reborn, why would he be so short? Even if you played female Eivor, they should be taller than average. Kassandra was noticeably taller than pretty much everyone she met, and when I did the mission where you run into Kassandra, Eivor is was not shorter than her. Thisnlack of attention to detail is just... bad.

Ok, rant over. Overall liking the game. Sigurd has been a dick on screen so far, but I blame Basim for that. Just found out Sigurd had his arm cut off, oof.

(Forgot to add, I loved the hidden ones bureaus, very cool. And if someone knows if Reda is in Mirage, without spoilers, I'd love to know. I'm surprised he's still alive AND a child. Is this ever explained ?)

[unnervinglyferal]

List of European countries and why I hate them, in alphabetical order:

Albania - I've never heard fucking anything about the people here, do you people even do anything save for having beef with everyone else in the Balkans. Fuck you.

Andorra - I don't think this place is even a real country. It's like the size of my dick. Fuck you.

Austria - You know what you did. Fuck you.

Belarus - Sucking Russia's dick just for the novelty of getting to be featured in their ongoing cringe compilation. An utter embarrassment. Fuck you.

Belgium - If there's two things I hate, it's colonialist brutality and the fucking smurfs. Fuck you.

Bosnia and Herzegovina - Despite all the rest of their shitshow, at least the rest of the Balkans can at least agree whether they're one country or two countries. Make up your minds. Fuck you.

Bulgaria - The best thing you've got going on is the yoghurt and even that isn't as good as the greek ones. Fuck you.

Croatia - Out of all the countries in Europe whose existence I had literally forgot about, this is the oldest and the largest. How do you trace your history back to the fucking antiquity and only barely seem to exist at all? Fuck you.

Cyprus - I actually had to google to check that Cyprus isn't just a part of Greece, but apparently you gained independence from the UK in 1960? How the fuck are you in Europe and get colonized by Europe. Fuck you.

Czech Republic - Your main export is utterly unpronounceable last names. There's a reason why you can't shouldn't be allowed to put five consonants in a row. Fuck you.

Denmark - Annoyingly smug golden retriever-ass mushy-faced fucks. If I pressed my open palm into a dane's face, it would ooze through my fingers because these mushy fucks don't have bones.

Estonia - The bitter, prettier and smarter sister to Finland who is passive-aggressively better at everything but still doesn't get the same attention. Finns show up to your shores to raid the booze stores, vomit on everything, and leave, and you just let them. Fuck you.

Finland - An entire nation of spoiled ivory tower whiners who just will not understand how good they have it. The entire country would die out by mass suicide if things ever got half as bad as they are in the rest of the world. Fuck you.

France - The only reason why the french aren't known as an equal mass of colonialist brutes as the brits are is the language barrier. They're just as stupid but you'll never know what they're thinking because they consider learning another language to be beneath them. Fuck you.

Georgia - The americans stole your name and put it on a state and you just fucking let them. Now we have to hear about their utter lack of understanding of geography every single time some shit happens at your borders. Fuck you.

Germany - I'm jewish. And looking at your involvement in Israel, I'm starting to think you people don't really even care that much whose side you're on, if there's a genocide happening anywhere, you just like to be included. Fuck you.

Greece - You have like 4000 years of recorded history verifying that you've spent that entire time thinking you're smarter and prettier than anyone else in the whole world. You specifically invented the word hubris to describe yourselves. Fuck you.

Hungary - I'm pretty sure that you guys are the reason why people think all of Europe is a backwards shithole. Fuck you.

Iceland - The only reason you people can dedicate all of your time in inbreeding ponies and people is because your climate is so miserable that nobody wants to move there. Fuck you.

Ireland - Your climate is just as wet and miserable as Iceland, but you still got colonized by the english. Fuck you.

Italy - I've never met an italian who was capable of doing anything in a punctual and organized way. Imagining a whole country being run by italians seems impossible. Like having 15 cats successfully operating a tank. Fuck you.

Kosovo - What the fuck even is the Balkans. You guys don't even have your own language. Fuck you.

Latvia - Like Estonia without any of the good parts. Fuck you.

Liechtenstein - This isn't even a real country, this is just the quarantine containment where Switzerland ships the people who are too annoying for Switzerland. Fuck you.

Lithuania - The most boring of the Baltics. Fuck you.

Luxembourg - There is no way this place is fucking real. The fuck do you mean your citizens are called luxembourgers. The fuck do you mean your official language is luxembourgish. What the fuck is any of this. Fuck you.

Malta - Same thing as Liechtenstein, but for all surrounding countries around the Mediterranean sea. Fuck you.

Moldova - How and why is there a tiny-ass country the size of my dick on the border of the Balkans. How does this exist. Fuck you.

Monaco - This isn't a real country, it's a french ploy for tax evasion. Fuck you.

Montenegro - Oh won't you look at that, another teeny tiny Balkan country. Montenegrin is the stupidest name I've ever heard for a language, that sounds like a comedy bit. Fuck you.

Netherlands - Fuck your weed and fuck your bicycles. Fuck you.

North Macedonia - This also feels like a country they just made up just to make the list of European countries longer. Fuck you.

Norway - Fuck your oil and fuck you.

Poland - Your main export is far right politics and porn-addicted communist furry femboys. Fuck you.

Portugal - Spain but a little bit to the left. The only way to tell the spanish and the portugese apart is by whether they get mad when you call them spanish. Fuck you.

Romania - Get your fucking shit together. Fuck you.

Russia - Fuck you.

San Marino - Italy has two stupid little city-states as pets. This one is the one I hate less because it only contains tax evaders.

Serbia - The only thing I know about Serbia is A Serbian Film. Fuck that film and fuck you for making me remember it.

Slovakia - The wettest, saddest slavs of all the slavs of Europe. Fuck you.

Slovenia - Slovene is the second-stupidest name I've ever heard for a language. Fuck you.

Spain - I have no idea how the fuck a people who are as disorganized as italians managed to also be as competent as france and britain at colonialism. Fuck you.

Sweden - As smug and mushy as danes and as inbred as icelanders. Fuck you.

Switzerland - You know what you did. And continue doing. Fuck you.

Ukraine - You wouldn't be in this fucking situation if you hadn't trusted Soviet Union's pinky promise to never invade. A russian's promise is not worth the oxygen it wastes. You guys are cool but nonetheless, fuck you.

United Kingdom - Fuck you smug bastards for everything.

Vatican City - Italy has two stupid little city-states as pets. This one is the one I hate more because it contains the pope. Fuck you.

[gabessquishytum]

chaosheadspace's addition....fucking supreme. I am going feral. Furthermore, my brain has once again been taken over by this au.

For some reason I am convinced Alex just "has to go" (cough cough) on some important business trip with Paul towards the end of Dream's pregnancies. The first time everyone could write it off as unlucky timing buy the third time it happens everyone knows it's deliberate.

Alex and Dream might behave at social events but to everyone who works at the manor it is obvious the two don't exactly like spending more time together than strictly necessary for keeping up appearances.

Everyone can agree it's a dick move for Alex to not be there for the birth of "his" children (the staff are 99% sure that Dream/Hob and Alex/Paul is what is happening here) but both Dream and Alex ignore it. The idea of Alex having to care for Dream close to & during labor makes both of them break out in hives, no thank you. Hob can take care of that.

Maybe Alex promotes Hob to Dream's personal assistant or something to keep up appearances. He is being such a good husband by making sure Dream has someone there for him when he himself is unfortunately indisposed (Lucienne is Dream's p.a. in a business sense here).

While Alex is off to France or something (where he is definitely not having an insane amount of sex with Paul while they wait for news of the baby's arrival), Hob and Dream get to be together.

Dream might not have had someone there to comfort him through the morning sickness but at least he gets to have someone there to dote on him and massage his aching back for those final weeks when Hob's pup is big and heavy.

When Dream goes into labor, Hob is there to take care of him and the kids, juggling holding Dream's hand and playing with the kids and reading them stories before bed. Afterwards, when Dream is tired and sore, Hob will be there to take care of him and the newborn, as well as to keep the older children occupied so their dad and little sibling can rest.

[ for someone who loves angst I sure am a sucker for the comfort part of it ]

- 🍃

Ahshdhfjgm yes perfect! Another lovely anon had a similar idea of Hob becoming the go-to guy when Dream is labour because the Burgesses aren't there/dont care, and I think its wonderful!

It's fantastic news for Hob because he gets quality time with Dream in those precious final weeks before the new arrival, and he actually gets to be one of the first to hold the baby! It almost makes up for all the time they have to spend apart. He absolutely dotes on Dream, and soaks up all the time he can get snuggled up with the older children plus the newest little one. Side by side or in his lap it's impossible not to notice that they're his kids, every single one of them. And honestly he'd love them just the same if they weren't his, because they came from Dream. The most beautiful, precious person he's ever met. How could Hob fail to love him and his babies?

[beevean]

https://gizmodo.com/castlevania-nocturne-interview-spoilers-alucard-annette-1850892875

This is an interview that for once is not only with Deats but with Clive Bradely as well, Nocturne's writer and Ellis' replacement.

Before I start, I love how they talk about *that* ending like it's the hypest thing to ever hype. They know. They know what the fans only care about.

It ends with a clear and ready indicator that team is ready to tackle arguably the most iconic Castlevania narrative of all time, Symphony of the Night, as Richter and his allies find themselves bolstered in the darkest hour by the arrival of a familiar face… well, to us, at least, even if our young heroes aren’t as up on their Castlevania lore as gamers are.

Fucking peak. I love it. The gang is ready to tackle the SoTN story because even though they were about to die badly, after losing Tera, Alucard is there to save the day. Goddamnit if you suck his dick any harder you'll vacuum it off his body.

Also lol and lmao they cannot adapt SoTN at all. Where is Richter grappling with the fear that after killing Dracula his life is now done, making him easy prey for Shaft's manipulations? None of this can happen. Dracula isn't even around!

The character of Annette, trapped in a castle, made me think of Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame—this extraordinary woman who sweeps into France. It seemed an obvious step to make Annette a revolutionary from St. Domingue/Haiti on that sort of model.

This... sure is a train of thought. I'll just say N!Annette fucking wishes she had Esmeralda's charisma.

Later we had a Haitian adviser on board, Cècile Accilien, who helped us with aspects of the history and culture. We wanted it to be as authentic and grounded in reality as possible.

oh god no spinning i'm wheezing

If i was Mrs. Accilien I'd be offended by how the character named after me can't even be a proper wise guide without degenerating into "your entire self is rooted into being a slave" and "those stupid frenchies will never understand our pain, so don't bother expecting empathy from your boo", but what do I know

also yeah sure it's realistic how Annette uses the power of her gods to run away from slavery

I just loved the idea of Richter’s grandfather as this bitter old guy who’s been through hell, lost his magic (which at the point they meet is also true of Richter)—kind of the opposite of Richter, or an image of how Richter could end up if he doesn’t evolve into the hero he needs to be.

Fuck off. I've already ranted about this. My poor man Juste deserves better than being "that one stupid asshole that exists as a warning".

I just wanted to add that Juste is a really special inclusion in the series for me, and Clive brought him into the show in a really great way that resonates really well with the Castlevania fan in me.

"wah i'm so glad juste was included in my story as a cynical fuck to be bullied, for meeeee 🥺 i'm such a big fan guys 🥺🥺🥺"

I don't like Deats. I know it's mean of me, but the more I read him talk, the less I like him as a person, he's just so conceited. I don't know who is the bigger hack between him and Flynn now.

So there’s almost a bit of a debate about Alucard’s design and whether he has intended to have pale blonde hair or white hair in Symphony of the Night based on the artwork of him and even his character’s sprite in the game. At the time of designing him in the original series, though, I decided to lean towards the pale blonde hair in order to invoke his mother, which was appropriate to the story. His hair got more saturated during lighting/compositing than I had ever intended, though, which was a constant frustration of mine. But even back then I tinkered with the idea that if we were to jump forward in time, to show how time has passed by leaning more towards the white haired direction (this also had the added benefit of not being something we would have to worry about getting over-saturated during lighting!).

Well, there you have it. N!Alucard's hair got lighter in-universe. I wonder if he changed color naturally or he decided to change his appearance.

for Nocturne, we wanted to invoke his SOTN look while also reflecting that this is a version of him that’s been awake and fighting for 300 years

Mhh. So I was right. He did live on for 300 years and witness his friends' death, abandoning his castle and village and Trevor's descendants to fight by himself. I'll make sure to judge this decision once S2 comes out.

[writebackatya]

Confessions

Rant about anything

Confession: I don't think Villain Louie would be the powerful mastermind that so many in the fandom would paint him. To me, Villain Louie would a mixture of Mark Beaks and Doofus Drake since he would no longer have his family to guide him

Rant: Okay, let me rant about the most confusing crossover/cameo in the history of fictional crossovers and cameos. The time when Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes appeared on Batman

I'm sure an explanation is needed before I get into the rant so here it goes:

Batman is a DC superhero that is alter ego of billionaire Bruce Wayne who witnessed his parents die in front of him at a young age thus beginning a his path to use what he has to make sure no one went through the tragedy that he witnessed. He had an intentionally campy tv show in the 60s where he and his trusty ward Dick Grayson protect Gotham City as the Dynamic Duo, Batman & Robin, from the villain of the week. The show was known for having cameos by various celebrities as well as characters from other tv shows

Hogan's Heroes was a sitcom from the same era of television about a group of POW Allies that are held prisoner at Stalag 13, a POW camp in Nazi Germany that holds the record of never having a successful escape despite being run by the incompetent Colonel Klink with his first officer, the cowardly "sees nothing" (and honestly is more of a neutral than a Nazi) Sergeant Shultz. The reason why there is no escape because the prisoners, lead by the charming wise-ass American Colonel Hogan, have their own underground base underneath the POW camp where they have contact with other Allies in London, around Germany, etc. and often work with other Allies to get people out of Germany, blow up bridges, spy on the nazis, etc. Hogan and his men have accomplished many things such as hiding and restoring an Ally Officer's plane from within the camp, convinced a bunch a Nazi officers (including a member of the Gestapo) into thinking the war was over, gone to France so many goddamn times, started an avalanche while chained up in an inn, hid an entire tank in one of the barracks, had a very small role info about the Manhattan Project away from the Nazis, made a pizza to convince an Italian officer to join the Allies (that same officer returns in a later episode and is played by a different actor btw), and invented the gonculator. OH and did I mention that this WWII show had a laughtrack? Because it did because it's a sitcom

So I ask you dear reader. HOW THE HELL DOES COLONEL KLINK, A NAZI OFFICER FROM WWII KNOW BATMAN, A HERO WHOSE SHOW TAKES PLACE IN THE 60S!!!??

There are so many questions here. How did these two meet? Colonel Klink pretty much spent his life in Germany. He has avoided combat. If it's the 60s, why Colonel Klink still in the Nazi party. The dude would surrender to the Allies with his hands up and be like "Colonel Hogan is my best friend and I'm on your side!" the second WWII ended. Batman and Robin also clearly know Colonel Hogan, so they must know about their operation right? I mean how could they not? Both Americans, both I HOPE are against the ideals of the Nazis, yet they are concerned about Klink's safety. Why doesn't Batman do more to help out the allies of WWII? Do Hogan and his men know Batman's true identity? Probably not. Strangely enough I can Kinch from Hogan's Heroes communicating with Batman via and that's how Hogan and his men communicate with Gotham's protector, but also Colonel Klink does too? Do they talk on the phone? Does Batman also have a similar relationship with Klink like Hogan does where like they're sorta friends but using Klink's incompetence/status/connections to help benefit the Allies? Has Batman ever been to Stalag 13? Like in his costume and all? There are just so many questions I have from this less than minute of television history.

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday the Scottish folk singer/songwriter Brian McNeill born on April 6th 1950 in Falkirk.

Brian was a founder member of the Battlefield Band, one of our finest Folk Groups. He also joined several other top Scottish Folk musicians including Dick Gaughan in Clan Alba.

Brian is a multi instrumentalist – chiefly fiddle, bouzouki, mandocello, guitars and concertina – and the importance of his songwriting has long been recognised with such songs as The Yew Tree, The Lads O' The Fair, The Snows of France and Holland, Strong Women Rule Us All With Their Tears, Any Mick'll Do and No Gods and Precious Few Heroes. Many of his songs have been performed and recorded by artists worldwide. He has been described as ‘Scotland’s most meaningful contemporary songwriter’.

​Brian’s audio visual shows, The Back O' The North Wind, about Scottish emigration to America, and the sequel, The Baltic Tae Byzantium, exploring the influence of the Scots in Europe, have won wide critical acclaim. His long connection with America's Lone Star State led to him being created an honorary Texan by the then Governor George W Bush. For six years Brian was Head of Scottish Music at the RSAMD, now the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland.

Brian is increasingly in demand for his production skills and his album credits include Davey Arthur, The Paul McKenna Band, Lorne MacDougall, Rua Macmillan, Eric Bogle and John Munro, Matt Tighe and Tad Sargent, The John Wright Band, Drones and Bellows and Missouri a cappella quartet The Wee Heavies.

As well as his musical talent Brian has also turned his hand to writing, he pens short stories, crime and mystery fiction involving his hero, busker Alex Fraser and his heroine, private sleuth Sammy Knox.

Brian is currently on the road with the The Feast of Fiddles 30th anniversary tour.

A song Brian wrote is one of my favourite modern folk songs

No Gods And Precious Few Heroes

I was listening to the news the other day Heard a fat politician who had the nerve to say He was proud to be Scottish, by the way With the glories of our past to remember "Here's tae us, wha's like us", listen to the cry No surrender to the truth and here's the reason why The power and the glory's just another bloody lie They use to keep us all in line

For there's no gods and there's precious few heroes But there's plenty on the dole in the land o the leal And it's time now to sweep the future clear Of the lies of a past that we know was never real

So farewell to the heather and the glen They cleared us off once and they'd do it all again For they still prefer sheep to thinking men Ah, but men who think like sheep are even better There's nothing much to choose between the old vain and the new They still don't give a damn for the likes of me and you Just mind you pay your rent to the factor when it's due And mind your bloody manners when you pay

For there's no gods and there's precious few heroes But there's plenty on the dole in the land o' the leal And it's time now to sweep the future clear Of the lies of a past that we know was never real

And tell me will we never hear the end Of puir bluidy Charlie at Culloden yet again? Though he ran like a rabbit down the glen Leavin better folk than him to be butchered Or are you sittin in your Council house, dreamin o'er your clan? Waiting for the Jacobites to come and free the land? Try going down the broo with your claymore in your hand And count all the Princes in the queue

For there's no gods and there's precious few heroes But there's plenty on the dole in the land o' the leal And it's time now to sweep the future clear Of the lies of a past that we know was never real

So don't talk to me of Scotland the Brave For if we don't fight soon there'll be nothing left to save Or would you rather stand and watch them dig your grave While you wait for the Tartan Messiah? He'll lead us to the Promised Land with laughter in his eye We'll all live on the oil and the whisky by and by Free heavy beer! Pie suppers in the sky Will we never have the sense to learn?

That there's no gods and there's precious few heroes But there's plenty on the dole in the land o' the leal And I'm damned sure that there's plenty live in fear Of the day we stand together with our shoulders at the wheel Aye, there's no Gods

[sasusc]

So I saw a few things about Norman Reedus doing a podcast that some people didn't like. I had to find it. It's on Spotify...Lipp Service with Scott Lipps.

They talked about a lot of little things...TWD, DD spinoff, other projects, fans, and Nova. The Nova stories are so cute. Nothing new about his projects, but he did mentioned he wanted new writers for the spinoff. And I don't see that as a bad thing. He wanted some French writers which makes sense when the show is filmed in France, takes place in France, and they would want to bring in writers that know the culture and locations and people.

Also about the fans... It didn't seem that negative unless you felt called out for bad behavior. He couldn't even use a public bathroom in peace. Dick out at a urinal is not the time to ask for a picture with him. And it's rude--especially when the man is already with someone--to want him to date an unnamed actress because they worked together and be upset that they aren't dating. I know I would be pissed off if people keep insisting I should be with someone else when I'm perfectly happy in my current relationship.

Actors are people who just want to do normal things without being mugged constantly. Let them be unless they look open to interact with you. As he said, people think they know him because he's been on TWD for 11 years...been on other things. That's not the same as knowing him personally.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Watching a documentary on Edward II while I work and in this doc:

1. They repeatedly call Piers Gaveston Edward's "best mate" and "close friend", then have one seven-second acknowledgement that they were probably lovers before immediately returning to calling them pals, buds, just mates being dudes, my guys, just bros like bros will be, totally normal friendship here

2. Piers is not depicted as half so pretty as he likely was. He is handsome, yes, but very... dirty compared to everyone else? And also, dude, brush your hair. Come on. Piers Gaveston was famously not only arrogant but vain!

3. The actor playing Edward is playing this documentary dramatization like he is going for the motherfucking Oscar, he is amazing. I love him, my God someone give this man jobs and money!

4. They speak French! Just like everyone actually did!

5. Hugh Despenser has perfect hair, which seems in character

6. The documentary definitely doesn't admit the simple truth that Hugh Despenser the Younger was almost certainly Pretty Man Bait to get Edward II to give the Despensers power.

7. The doc DOES do a great job of showing what an absolute disaster Edward II was at basically everything forever

8. It does contain the most excellent line, "To the people of the time, Edward could have been bedding his priest, his page boy, and his horse, so long as he was governing the kingdom properly."

9. Isabella's actress is also incredible. That woman does some impeccable face-acting.

10. Man. The moral of this documentary - and of his life - should be "This man did not deserve the wild glory inherent in his amazing wife."

11. Now Hugh Despenser needs to brush his hair! Maybe Edward just likes 'em grungy.

12. Edward is the epitome of being shown exactly what he needs to do and then doing the opposite.

13. I am genuinely impressed at how carefully they dance around admitting that Edward was definitely up in Hugh Despenser's business, too. His manly business.

14. Wait, I take it back. The real moral of this story is "take a woman's children from her arms and she will burn you to the ground and spit on your ashes."

15. Honestly, I don't blame her.

16. THEY CALLED HER THE SHE-WOLF FOR A REASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.

17. Also, hell yeah for Isabella's brother the King of France working with her on this. He absolutely knew Isabella was being underestimated and he made sure he never did.

18. Oh, so we can admit Isabella and Roger Mortimer were sleeping together, huh? We can admit that? I mean as long as it's decently hetero, sure, let's have a whole sex scene. But God forbid we admit Edward and Piers might have held hands under a tree even once.

19. THEY PUT A SEX NOISE IN EVEN

20. Honestly now I'm mad.

21. "She has a number of men closer to a moderate house party than an invading force." Okay, that line redeems you somewhat.

22. Awwwww puppies hunting the disgraced king, sweet. I love when dogs are clearly checking for cues from their trainers just off screen.

23. A FIFTY FOOT GALLOWS SEEMS EXCESSIVE. Oh holy shit they hung him without quite killing him, then de-genitaled and- god damn, Isabella. This seems like a bit much.

24. SHE MADE A POINT OF EATING WHEN THEY CUT HIS DICK OFF.

25. Isabella is terrifying. I am in wild irrational love.

26. I'm sorry they put WHAT up Edward's ass. A red hot WHAT

27. I feel like that probably didn't actually happen but honestly, I don't doubt Isabella is capable of it. And also, um, these deaths seem... To send a message.

28. "Edward's wife and her lover-" oh, are you sure they're not just best mates? Buddies? Pals? Like Edward and Gaveston?

29. Oh he probably just like... was smothered. That makes way more sense. He could be "found dead" then and it could be claimed to be natural causes.

30. Underestimate pissed off French women at your peril, English kings.

[eclipsedrgn]

𝐄𝐱-𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝'𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝'𝐬 𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

Pair: Batsis!Fem OC x Adrien Agreste Summary: After his previous relationship, Adrien began to love a girl that's mysterious and cold-hearted who turns out to be his ex-girfriend's boyfriend's sister! Warning: Dick (28), Jason (24), Tim (20), Batsis (20) and Damian (17). Marinette (17) and Adrien (20). Yes, I've aged up Adrien just a little.

ADRIEN AGRESTE barely reminisce about his life, in fact, he hates doing it. He didn't like to stare into nowhere and thought about his mistakes, no, because he didn't like the feeling of regret. As a child hero, he made a lot mistakes, ones that would risk people's lives and he hated the feeling. He didn't want that feeling. Especially now, with the love of his life. (Y/N) (L/N).

The couple met in one of Adrien's adventure around Europe, after the defeat of Hawkmoth, the reveal of his partner who turned out to be his girlfriend, and then broke up with said girlfriend. Adrien decided to go on a trip around Europe to clear his mind where he met (Y/N) in London attending a meeting from her father's company.

They went on a date and kept in touch after that. (Y/N) moved to Paris after dating for two years, moving on from her life in Gotham where she retired her own vigilante act.

And now, here they are sitting in their home cuddling on the couch where (Y/N) gets a phone call.

Groaning, she didn't glance at the caller ID and answered the call. "Hello?"

"I had expected you to answer after ringing you five times"

"Damian?" she asks sitting up from the couch, "Isn't it early morning there?"

"No, I am in Paris visiting"

"What?! Where the hell are you and why haven't dad said anything?"

"I am here to visit someone. Not you"

(Y/N) deadpans and grumbles, "Don't fucking call me then to say your in France then tell me you ain't visiting"

There was silence before Damian mutters, "I just thought to let you know..."

"Dami... I'm not telling you to feel bad about this but you can't expect me to be nice when the last time you talked to me you told me you hated me being your sister just because-" she paused remembering that Adrien's listening to the conversation.

"Just because I quit" she finished quietly, "Goodbye Damian. Have fun in Paris"

As (Y/N) hangs up, Adrien placed kisses by her shoulder and neck relaxing his girlfriend.

"Who was that?" Adrien asks.

"It was my brother. My younger brother. He's in Paris" she mumbles into the blanket.

"And that's a problem why?"

"Because the last time we talked he told me he hated me... I quit a family tradition and he didn't take it nicely... because I'm technically consider his blood-sister"

Adrien sighs, even after all this years he still didn't know the full story of (Y/N)'s relationship with her family. He didn't bother pushing it because he loves her no matter what, and if telling the story hurts her he's not going to push it.

The next week, Adrien and (Y/N) made their way to his old high school for a little reunion. It's been a while since he's saw everyone especially since their so busy.

(Y/N) was talking to Juleka and Luka who just walked in when they hear a few gasps, looking over to where the crowd is looking they see Marinette and DAMIAN!

She grabs onto Adrien's arm who looked at the couple with wide eyes as well. "That's... that's Marinette"

"Marinette? As in your ex-girlfriend Marinette, who was your partner in crime?" (Y/N) whispers.

Adrien nods. "That's her with her new man"

Damian looks across the crowd when his eyes lands on his sister.

He blinked.

She blinked.

They both just blinked.

"Do you know her Dami?" Marinette asks in a soft tone.

"I... I- yes I do" he replied softly, "I'll be back Habibiti"

(Y/N) backed away slowly before walking away, Damian rushed towards her as he grabs her arm to somewhere private for them to talk. They stop at an empty classroom, awkward silence filled the air.

"I must apologize" Damian spoke quietly, "When you quit the team it completely threw me off guard. We've been fighting as a family for so long the fact that a missing sibling, partner would completely-"

"Dami" (Y/N) spoke quietly, "You've always knew I wouldn't be a vigilante for so long. I'm not Babs, Cass or Steph"

"But-"

"I'm the Wayne girl who settles down, who starts a family. I'm not the Wayne who fights behind the mask for eternity" she defends.

They both paused hearing movement from outside the room. Damian grabbed the nearest possible weapon with was a vase, while (Y/N) resorted to using her hands. In a count of three, the door was open to reveal the Wayne sibling's partners standing by the door. Who coincidentally are exes of each other as well.

"Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on?" Marinette asks, tilting her head in confusion.

(Y/n) glances at her brother who gave her a small shrug, Damian sighs. "Beloved, this is my older sister. (Y/n)"

"And this is the youngest of my brothers, Damian" she introduces to Adrien.

There was a pause.

The two exes blink at each other.

Then screamed, "WHAT!"