#if you are trying to make actual predictions and sway people about what will happen in the next game

[dreadfutures]

when I get home I gotta set up my cold brew, draw a leshy paladin samurai, call my bestie, and not write lore essays. I've held out for 4 years not writing true drag em to hell lore essays and I'm not gonna now. I'm gonna have some more soup with way too much dill in it and not write an essay. and then I'm going to play DND. typical Tuesday.

[lxmelle]

Gojo was once described by Gege as a “man of resignation”.

It is a facet of enlightenment - in which the concept of “non-attachment” is a big part of (attachment is viewed as the root of suffering).

We can interpret “resignation” in so many ways, as it explains so much about his immense capacity for love / acceptance, but also his tendency to... simply resign himself to an outcome / fate I guess - a form of passivity that can be either considered positive or negative, perhaps depending on outcome.

Going with the flow, neither chasing nor halting anything in particular with his immense might and potential. He swayed things to gently influence an outcome. Followed a designated path trying to rebuild the sorcerer world through being a teacher... which he couldn’t fully commit too either, because he had a role as a special grade who had to keep working.

That’s not to say he didn’t achieve anything - because of course he did. But nothing revolutionary. He said so himself to Geto: he didn’t see a point in it. There were just some things he didn’t think would change - someone else would replace the higher-ups.

And thus. Despite his massive strength, he never did ever manage to go all out. Perhaps this is symbolic of an inherently gentle/accepting nature? But there was indeed a monster inside him too - the one that thrived on the thrill of killing and defeating. It was a beast he seldom let out. It was a beast with a thirst.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll paraphrase: like a sprinter limited to go at 8kmph, like a singer who is only allowed to whisper her song, a painter unable to use any paints for their desired masterpiece - how dreadfully, painfully unfulfilling.

So of course it was FUN to have this final brawl with Sukuna - to give it his very best, especially when he also didn’t feel lonely anymore with a bunch of monsters he can pass the gauntlet (his body and his will) onto in the worst case scenario.

But of course Gojo doesn’t have the ability to predict the future, so how can anyone expect that he make decisions and judgements perfectly or accurately? All he can do is consider based on his own judgement. Alone. As the only other person who help him plug those holes in his judgement, Geto, had left him.

It is up to interpretation whether Geto was left behind first, but this really isn’t a competition or about assigning blame… because where do we even start?

One cannot hold Gojo totally accountable for things that happen around him or how others interpret his actions. He was born different to everyone else. Probably treated as if he had this role to fill where people had an idea of what they wanted or needed him to be, but never gave much thought over what it would feel like for him.

Gojo, Shoko, and those left behind have had to suffer the same resignation. After all: What else are you supposed to do but resign yourself, in the face of a reality where even to things you don’t wish to happen, have to happen? All you can do is what you can... and if you can, you wield it with all your might.

Geto tried it to the best of his ability.

He wasn’t Gojo, who could do it if he wanted to.

Understanding that Gojo wasn’t, and accepting that he (Geto) shouldn’t change that about him (Gojo), as he was likely more suited to be at the school - essentially following nanami’s words and “leaving it to him” as Gojo was in his element / thrived on it, but Geto couldn’t be complicit in the system that would lead them to watch their own kind die one by one — Geto left to follow his ideals.

Gojo was referred to as the only one who can take that curse into his own hands. I used to see it as “the only one to kill Geto” after he failed and almost lost his humanity for the sake of power (killing Yuta would go against his principles) but now it also has a new meaning: the only one who can take charge and pursue the ideals to actually change the world.

The curse is the sh*t that is in the world of sorcery in jjk. Gojo seemed to (imho) now feel the need to catch up and hold the reins this time.

It is the end of Resignation Man Gojo Satoru. The emergence of The Monster Gojo Satoru (who Geto assisted in helping Gojo keep at bay through being the “model of humanity” that Gojo could follow) who was then fully ready to take the stand. Like Geto on that stage.

Bye higher ups.

Before, despite his immense strength, he didn’t force his way through. Perhaps this was the outcome of having been forced to be born and live with no choice but to be the six eyes + limitless. You do not actually have freedom.

Unless, you’re willing to become a pariah. To wield these cards that were dealt to you and completely become the extraordinary.

And now, Yuta embraces the same resigned acceptance of becoming a monster. After all... only a few will be able and willing to turn into a Monster.

Out of love. A Monstrous love indeed.

Geto had monstrous motherhood in him. I guess this extends to others now too. To cast away humanity because nobody else will. Nobody else can. So they have to wield it. Become it.

Yuta represents both the old and new world... in some way, he is like Gojo and Geto combined... power / strength + sincerity / kindness. Of course, like the yin and yang, each half has a bit of the other in it - so Gojo and Geto had a combination of power and compassion, but they symbolically represent each,

Arguably, had Geto someone else by his side, things may have been different.

All of this mess… ugh.

It didn’t have to come to this, right? Nor did it have to be the extermination of humans, but it could’ve been a collaboration of the special grades (Yuki, Gojo, Geto) all trying to solve the 3 different factors to the problem: humans as the origin of curses (research), the old-fashioned higher ups + clans, and the elimination of the curses. There may be others, but you get my gist.

But alas, this is the jjk world.

Just some thoughts, I’ll end it here before it’s more word vom.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Hopeless: Part Two

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: You and your lawyer try to fight your unlawful arrest but it's not looking good. The entire team feels your loss and tries to concentrate on the case at hand. None of them can predict the outcome.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

The talk with your lawyer has taken up almost an hour but you're not getting anywhere you thought you'd get. You see all the evidence piled up against you such as the weapons that came from your home. All the murders happened when you weren't out of state with the team, so you can't use that to back up where you've been. Whoever did this must have been watching you for a long time to know when you were home and when you weren't. Even when you were without Spencer. You're completely alone in this. No one is going to help you.

"I'm going to say this again. I didn't do this. I am an FBI agent who swore to protect people. I put everyone before me. I am an empathic psychic. I am surrounded by death every day. I see things no one should see. I use my gift to help others and to bring justice to those who deserve it. Why would I go out of my way to take lives when I promised to protect them? Why would I put the man I love through that pain?"

"I hear you. Based on what you're telling me, it sounds like you didn't do it. However, a jury isn't going to go off your word. They're going to go off the evidence. The evidence all points to you. I don't want you to panic. I'm very good at my job. All we have to do is find inconsistencies with the evidence to sway the jury into looking in the opposite direction."

"How likely is it to be declared innocent?"

"I'll do whatever I can to make that one hundred."

"What's the best case scenario? I need to know all my options." Steven looks a bit apprehensive so you try to convince him. "Please, Steven. I have to know."

"The best case scenario is you get to go back to work, and they try to figure out who did this. This becomes an active investigation, one which I believe they'd ask the FBI for help. A less fun option would be you're proven innocent, but you lose your job in the process." 

Your bottom lip trembles at the thought of losing your job for something you never did.

"What's the worst case?" you whisper.

"The worst case is you go to prison for a very long time."

You put your head down on the table and just sob. Meanwhile, there is another murder so the team heads over there to check it out. There are more victims in a public place this time instead of in someone's home. These unsubs don't care about anything or anything. They will slaughter anyone they want and ruin everything in the process.

"Did anybody see anything?" Hotch asks the detective.

"It's in the middle of the damn parking lot. The security camera only shows the door."

"Who's the lady over there?" Derek asks.

There is an older woman talking to an officer about what she witnessed or found.

"A manager. She discovered the bodies when she came by to open up for the breakfast crowd."

"I'll go talk to her," JJ says and leaves.

"Any idea who the victims are?"

"Judging by the driver's license, one of them's a waitress here. It says Jessica Miller, and the other one's probably Doug Taylor."

"You can't tell for sure?" Derek asks the detective.

"Honestly, you can't make an ID by looking at them."

"They're definitely getting bolder. These kills were in public. If this is supposed to be about symbolism, it's not anymore. This is a blue-collar restaurant and the victim is a waitress. There's no ideology behind this. It's about violence and power."

"They actually sat here and drank beer after the murder," the detective says in disgust.

"They're telling us that they don't care. They're like those outlaws that ride into town and let you know the only way to stop them Is by killing them," Spencer says.

"If that's what they want, I know plenty of cops who'd be happy to oblige."

"Detective, we need to keep our heads," Hotch sighs.

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning that this level of nihilism, this randomness, it can have a mirror impact."

"Are you warning me not to go after some kind of revenge?"

"All I'm saying is this level of brutality is almost like a challenge from the unsubs and trying to drag everyone down to their level. It's a natural reaction."

"I'm just doing my job."

"Let's head back. We've got our profile."

The team and the detective head back to the BAU so that the team can give the profile. Penelope greets them as soon as they step out of the elevator but her eyes are drawn to Spencer in the back. His eyes are cast down and he looks so sad. He hobbles past her and she looks at Derek and Emily with concern.

"How is he doing?"

"Not good."

"You have company, Derek."

There is a woman off to the side looking at Derek eagerly. He breaks off from the group to talk to her while the rest enter the bullpen to give the profile out.

"These men are completely disenfranchised. They feel like they have nothing to live for, and they're looking for anyone or anything to blame. There's a lot of anger out there. Times are tough, but even so, these men will stand out. They'll look to provoke confrontation. They don't steal from their victims. They don't sexually assault the women. This is about violence for violence's sake," Hotch begins.

"It's almost contagious. It's twisted, but it's got its own momentum. What we need to do is figure out how these men came together. We feel certain that they have some connection to Southeast D.C. They go unnoticed and don't seem out of place. We have no prints from the crime scenes, so we believe the unsubs wear gloves. DNA testing could take weeks, and we don't have that kind of time."

"The majority of the population of Southeast D.C. is black, but if the unsubs work in this area, they could be any race. Because of the physical nature of the murder and the amount of control these unsubs exert over their victims, we believe that these unsubs are large or at least extremely physically fit. They have a pack mentality. Canvass the local bars and restaurants and see if there's a group of men who fit this description," Rossi says.

"These men will be obsessed with the media coverage for any chance to relive their crimes. So, stake out the past crime scenes. There's a good chance that they'll revisit them. They most likely come from troubled backgrounds like broken homes, or youth detention centers. They probably bonded over their anger, and now it's like they've become one person. It's their whole identity."

"See, these guys, they think of themselves as some type of gangsters, like society's rules don't apply to them. They equate violence with power and respect, and that goes for self-respect as well," Emily says.

"What could they possibly get out of killing innocent people for no reason?" a female officer asks Emily.

"People like this, they're not like you and me. They don't feel empathy. In a way, they only feel alive when they're creating fear and chaos."

"Thank you," Hotch concludes the profile. He ushers the detective to the side to speak to him privately. "Detective. I just wanted to say that at the crime scene, it was not my intention to accuse you of being unprofessional."

"Yeah?"

"It's just that I know what it's like to work a case that makes you question humanity, and it's not the worst thing to remind yourself to rise above it a little, or we lose ourselves."

"I appreciate you giving my team the profile."

Things aren't going as smoothly as Hotch had hoped, and things aren't going smooth for you either. Once you and Steve were finished talking, two officers came in to talk to you with Steve present. You're trying really hard not to show signs of anxiety, so you sit on your hands to prevent them from tapping the desk, and you cross your legs so you don't bounce your legs. Steve is here to prevent you from answering certain questions that can incriminate you or make you look bad, so he'll jump in when he needs to.

"Where were you on the night of September 2nd?" Officer Sparks asks.

"At home."

"Can anyone confirm your whereabouts for that night?"

"No, I was home alone. My boyfriend was out with his best friend, Derek Morgan."

"Where were you on the night of September 4th?"

They keep asking you where you were on each night of all seven murders, and the only answer you have is that you were alone for all of them. Some nights you were at home, some nights you were taking a drive, and one night you were at the gas station. You paid cash, so there is no receipt showing your card number or anything.

"So, you're telling me that you were alone for all seven murders with no one to back up your whereabouts, and we found your DNA on all seven victims. Your hair and prints were found not only on the victims but on the murder weapons as well. You're sticking with the story that you don't know who these men are?" Officer Arnolds asks.

"The murder weapons are items that she owns. Of course, there will be prints on them. Are you not ruling out that someone could have stolen those items from her place of residence?" Steve jumps in.

"Oh, we're keeping all our options on the table. I'm just confused as to why Chase Williams has her hair on him when she claims she never met him. Do you think the wind just blew her hair from her hairbrush to his body?"

You can't say anything about that.

"Don't you think it's convenient that the murders took place when she wasn't out being an FBI agent?"

"The murders and her whereabouts are a coincidence."

"A coincidence? That's the story you're sticking with?"

"It's not a story," you blurt. "It's the truth. I didn't kill these men."

This isn't going well, and you're not sure if these officers are going to listen to reason. It seems to you that they have everything they need to make this a closed case. A closed case with a potential suspect is better than an open investigation with no suspects. It's hard on the team since Penelope can't look into your case. She has all the details on her computer which is just a click away, but she hesitates to open the files. Hotch's words come back to haunt her so she turns away from your file and focuses on what he asked her to do. Once she has the information, she leaves her office to go to his.

"Sir, I've got something. I've been monitoring social networking sites to see if the unsubs communicate electronically. There's a text that's blowing up. I sent it to your phone. There are over a thousand hits already. It's a plan to vandalize cars and restaurants around Dupont Circle."

"When does the text say this is supposed to happen?"

"Tonight at nine."

"Dupont circle's not in the unsubs' usual comfort zone," Rossi says.

"It's not like these unsubs to share control," Hotch calls the detective to warn him of the attack. "Detective Andrews, this is Agent Hotchner. I just sent you a text to which we've been alerted. ... Right. Absolutely. ... We're on our way."

The riot happened at nine as the text predicted, but it's not the cause or the works of the unsubs. Police were out tackling people and arresting those left and right for participating in the riot. A lot of fights happened between local police and the rioters. Detective Andrews at officers at every entry point who were filling their wagons faster than they could bring them to the holding cells. When the people started resisting the law, Andrews ordered his officers t start making arrests.

A lot of people got away from that riot but more ended up in jail. The events bleed into the next day where the officers are still in the midst of going through the families and processing the rioters.

"Did Garcia come up with anything?" Hotch asks.

"Yeah, she was able to isolate the first two cell phones in the chain."

"Detective, we don't think our unsubs are in there, but we'd still like to interrogate the possible ringleaders."

"I don't think so."

"We need to eliminate them as suspects."

"We can handle it on our own."

"We're not saying you can't--"

"Is there a problem?" Hotch cuts off Rossi.

"You guys had my men out there canvassing bars looking for adults when I could have been doing gang sweeps and going through juvenile records."

"That would have been a waste of your time."

"In case you hadn't noticed, those are kids out there. We don't believe last night's riot Is connected to the murders."

"How could it not be?" Andrews asks Emily.

"Because the unsubs we're looking for are older. They operate entirely out of Southeast D.C. They exercise extreme control over their victims, and violence is up close and personal. None of what happened here last night fits the profile."

"Enough with the profile. I got probably a million dollars worth of damage. I got two cops injured."

"Which was probably made worse by police overreaction."

"Meaning what?"

"I warned you. With cases like this, people get too emotional."

Andrews steps closer to Hotch but the younger man doesn't back down.

"You're here as a guest of my department. If you're so sure none of those kids are the killers, why bother interrogating them at all?"

"Because we need to be certain. If we're right, if this is just some sort of teenage dare, I guarantee you that the unsubs are going to respond very quickly."

"I appreciate your insight, but we'd like to take things from here on our own. Thank you for everything you've done."

If local police kick the FBI out, then they have to leave. Hotch doesn't like it but he doesn't start something he knows he can finish.

"You're gonna want to start with these two names," Emily says and hands him a piece of paper.

x

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[whysamwhy123]

Huh. The first OrangeHook fic I wrote now has the most hits out of anything I've written in the last two years. Weird.

I guess you never really know which fics are gonna take off. But still, this is hard for me to wrap my head around. I figured nothing would ever overtake the previous top dog, since that was for a very popular pairing (at the time) and also I wrote it as part of a fandom event, so naturally it was gonna have a few more eyeballs on it than usual. For a rarepair fic, of a pairing that's almost completely dead (the 'almost' being there due to the tireless work of my good buddy Dah, single-handedly keeping the OrangeHook train a-rollin' in 2024 *blows a kiss*) to overtake that, and still be getting traction here and there after over a year, is kinda nuts.

I have a weird relationship with that fic, in general. When I posted it, I really wasn't happy with it. It has Problems, LOL. The more time that passes though, I've kinda warmed to it more and more. It still has those Problems, for sure, but it came together pretty good in the end, I think? Probably some of my best dialogue, at least. That fic was only supposed to be two scenes - the opening scene with Best Friends, and the Awkward Hotel Room Seduction Scene - but it kinda ballooned as I was writing it, and I kept adding more and more. I don't think I realised at the time that OrangeHook was gonna become My Pairing for a good while. But it certainly did.

I'm in a...weird place, at the moment, regarding writing. Well. I don't know if I'm even qualified to say that, because the short version is - I ain't writing no' mo'. Haven't finished a fic, or even written more than a couple words, in over two months. Considering I was averaging one fic a month since January 2023, that's a downgrade for sure. This definitely isn't one of my usual writing slumps. I have Ideas (Such Ideas!) but zero motivation to write any of them. This isn't fandom's fault, to be clear. I do feel very out-of-touch and like the fandom's passed me by, but that's just because I don't watch AEW anymore because *almost falls back into old habits and launches into one of my annoying hater rants that I used to do all the goddamn time before I realised how lame that was and made myself act my age for once* reasons, and so I'm not particularly interested/invested in any of the popular pairings these days. The only pairings I do care about are ones like OrangeHook - microscopically small rarepairs where it's literally just me and one other person, and that's it. As much as I adore those folks (Gato <3 Dah <3), it's hard to find motivation when you know there's no audience waiting for you. Makes you feel like there's no point, y'know? Doesn't help that all of my ideas these days are goofy, self-indulgent AUs or bizarre crackfics. Even if I could put pen to paper, so to speak, I wouldn't exactly be giving the people what they want, LOL.

After I failed to get my Halloween fic done (it was, predictably, a goofy, self-indulgent OrangeHook AU about Jim falling under the sway of Hook, who's an incubus. Y'all are welcome that I didn't put that out into the world, LOL), I kinda figured that I might be done with writing again. Before January of last year, I hadn't written a word in years. I gave up on writing after some Bad Stuff happened. It felt like a gift to be able to do it again, after so much time. Kinda sucks to think I might be back to just Not Being Able To Do It At All again. Kinda really sucks.

There is this one idea. I've had it rattling around in my brain for a long time. It actually started as a Hookhausen fic (remember them? Where does the time go?), but I ended up adapting it to be OrangeHook over time. I have a lot of scattered ideas for scenes, bits of dialogue, and a pretty strong sense of what The Point would be. I did toy with the idea of starting it a while back (or at least trying to) and making it my swansong for the fandom/my writing in general. One last self-indulgent rarepair fic that no one cares about, and then I could peace out. To draw a line under things, y'know? Tie a little bow on this whole writing experiment of mine and then move on to...I don't know. Something else. Nothing? *shrugs* But that fic would be a big undertaking, at least for me. Would probably take a long time. A lot of work. And I ain't exactly drowning in free time. Plus, the aforementioned not-having-written-a-word-in-ages thing. I don't know.

We'll see, I guess.

If you read all of this, first of all - I am so very sorry, LOL. Second, thank you. If you're someone who's read anything I've put out there in the last two years, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. There's been...a lot of ups and downs, but overall, I'm really glad that I was able to get back into this, even if it didn't last too long. I'm pretty proud of a lot of the fics I managed to write, and while I know I was never the most popular girl in school, I hope that some of my silly stories entertained you. Made you laugh, or distracted you from the awfulness of reality for a spell. God knows, that's what all of your fics, and this fandom in general, did for me. Y'all are so nice. Creative, supportive, funny. It's kinda comforting, knowing that the fandom is still going strong. You kids have fun! Maybe this is goodbye, or maybe I'll channel that wrestler mentality and have 'One more match!' and then I'll retire. Who knows? But regardless, I'm glad I got to do this. No regrets. Well, maybe some, LOL. But for the most part...yeah. Shit was fun, yo. I did the damn thing.

OK, I'll shut up now, I promise *awkwardly finger guns my way out of the room*

[sunflowergem]

2, 11, and 18 for sunflower and valora (for the oc asks! if you're still taking those, sorry i'm super late <:3)

Not to worry, I'm literally always open to take asks especially for the OCS! Thanks for sending some in

2: what is their cafe order?

🌻 since she's based off me, I'll give my go-to order if it's available. I love lattes that have flower syrups in them. One of my particular favorites from a cafe that I used to go to in America had a lavender vanilla latte that I just adored. I miss that Cafe so much. It was right by where I had one of my part-time jobs 🥲 actually have a bunch of dried flowers that I needed to turn into some syrup so I can start making flower lattes for myself at home. They are usually not available where I live now. At least not in any of the cafes I've seen.

🩸hmmmm, I already have them as a fan of savory items but would they be a tea or a coffee person... I'm going to go with tea and I think there are frappuccino person. They are all about the indulgence and curiosity, so any new seasonal item would probably be their go-to to at least try once. So not so much a regular order but predictable when you can see the menu. If it's a place with a set menu that they go to constantly, probably like a chai frappuccino or a matcha frappuccino. Something with a bit of a strong flavor palette and a lot of really rich ingredients.

🌻 music boxes, sea shells, notebooks, mortar and pestle

11: name 3-5 things that you associate your oc with

I think I already did this one, but let's see if I can come up with some other items 😁

🩸 large pillows, paint, candles, teeth

18: is your oc afraid of anything?

🌻 losing others for sure. Despite the peril that they are all in. She's very happy to be around so many people. Especially as they I'll start to care for each other and become a real group of friends. The end of the campaign after the tadpole is gone is going to be rather devastating as she goes back to a more solitary life. In the best end she'll have a couple of them stick around for a while and some people living in her house but it's not quite the same connection that they had on the road. There isn't really a romantic connection for her either. I've thought about it a lot and I just really can't nail down one companion she would end up with and she just reads perpetually single to me. So I don't think she's going to end up in a relationship despite probably wanting one. She longs for the romantic connection but is never able to foster one of her own. On the more mundane side I don't think she ever truly got over her fear of thunderstorms. She just learned how to cope. It probably got worse when she got older and was left alone in the manner with mom. Not so much afraid of them but she does not like cows.

🩸 typical durge loss of autonomy fear, since she doesn't have a true form of their own loss of identity is pretty big and that one kind of came true after the memory loss because of Orin, they wouldn't remember it during the journey but was afraid of what would happen to Orin without them. They were fully aware of how messed up in the head Orin was but cared for them anyway, I also think they might have found out the true parentage of Orin before being attacked so that made them extra protective. There was a true twisted sense of selfless love between the two 'siblings' and when you love something, you're afraid to lose it. Back when they knew they were a blob. They were also afraid of losing their connection to Bhaal because they did not know if they could exist without him. Eventually they'll fear hurting the companions since they will go to care for them all. As they grow closer to Wyll, they'll end up with a fear of responsibility that would come along with the relationship to him. They end up scared that they can't be a good person, valid considering how much sway an evil entity has over them. Overall pretty typical durge fears, with a little bit extra of an identity crisis. Other than that they are truly too curious and stupid to have mundane fears like darkness, storm, fire, clowns. All that typical stuff doesn't really bother them.

[soulsxng]

GUYS, I CAN NEVER TELL WHAT MORAL ALIGNMENT THIS LIL' SHIT (Eluvias, my lovely little problem child) IS. I'm putting the rest under a read more because I know it's gonna end up super ramble-y.

So first, the way I look at the alignments is loosely this: - Good = Would save someone in trouble without promise of reward. - Neutral = Would leave someone in trouble to their fate. Might intervene for reward. - Evil = Would harm/kill/otherwise detriment person in trouble. and then: - Lawful = For principle - Neutral = For necessity - Chaotic = For impulse

And I can never tell if he fits best as true neutral, chaotic neutral, or neutral evil. Which...look, I know that technically no character should fit perfectly into an alignment. Different situations, and pressures, and whatever else could always make a character act outside of that alignment after all-- if they didn't, it would make the character kinda flat and predictable. (Plus, examining what would make them act out of that "norm", how they would do it, and how they would react to it afterwards is one of the most interesting parts of writing a muse imo)

But with Luvi, it always just feels like he decides how he's going to react to everything on a whim. Which...immediately points me toward chaotic. But good and evil don't really fell like they completely fit him, so I always sway towards chaotic neutral.

Except that he has done and will do some really fucked up shit. Sometimes just because he felt like it. Other times because he felt it was what he had to do, or even because it was what he should do in that situation.

And sometimes it's a little frustrating when I write him, because I feel like he can come off so all over the place at times that I worry that he doesn't come across as a consistent muse...like he does whatever, because...well, whatever. Which wasn't the case when he was still in Elyki.

Noticing that is what made me realize that it's because of that, that Luvi is so unpredictable now, though. Even if Zahine spoiled the hell out of him when he was young, he still grew up under very strict rules. Pretty much everything he did was heavily regulated. (With Zahine, it was for Luvi's health and wellbeing at a time when he was very frail and weak. With Mattias later on, it was just because Luvi was a tool that was potentially very dangerous to everyone in Elyki as well if he wasn't...essentially "holstered properly")

Now that he's away from that, he's suddenly bombarded with choices that he's never had to make before. He wants to be nice, and good-- partly because that's what he views his older brother and Zahine as being, and partly because he wants to make friends. (and then not have to worry about feeling like he has to or wants to hurt them)

His upbringing with Zahine taught him more that he needs to watch out for himself, and that-- while he should be cautious of others, he shouldn't hurt them unless he actually has to. That, as long as it won't detriment him, he should help people in dire need, but to generally let those in lesser need take care of their problems on their own. Kind of a good/neutral bordering.

But his upbringing with Mattias also taught him that...essentially, the lives of others that he doesn't know shouldn't ultimately matter to him. And that if he wants or needs something, he should just take it, regardless of how he has to get it. That if someone slights you even a little bit, or even if you just don't really care for someone. They annoy you? You can get rid of them.

And so really, he's just caught in this really confusing limbo where...kind of like a child that's just trying whatever comes to mind, seeing what happens from there, and deciding "Wow, that worked out pretty well!" or "That went really poorly..." from there.

Io and Zai try to help him with all of this, because they know he's overwhelmed, but neither of them can (or should, since that was a bit of an issue in and of itself; Luvi's obsessive nature definitely didn't help any of this) be there to hold his hand all the time.

Anyway, all of this is pretty much to say that I don't think I can put Luvi in any alignment, at the moment. He's got too much learning to do.

It also makes me wonder if Io was ever that way too, but I honestly don't really think he was. Not only was he old enough when Zahine went missing that he remembered a lot of the things that Zai stood for, but he was always especially defiant with Mattias. So while there might have been a little bit of figuring things out in that manner when he was taken under Pythius and Rhezar's wings, it wasn't anywhere near what it currently is with Luvi.

[canichangemyblogname]

I tell people to keep their eyes on Illinois if they want to understand the state of American politics and the direction of the country. The demographics of Illinois are proportional to those of the whole country. The state is about a 95+% match in terms of demographics.

If you want a clue on how political races are likely to play out or what policy the average American is likely to support, Illinois is your ideal polling and study location. The results of races in Illinois oft predict the trends of the country.

Illinois’ local battles and conflicts and policy debates are often close reflections of national conflicts and debates. The results of these conflicts and debates are often a reflection of what the average American supports, while the roadblocks to change or implementation are often a reflection of how American voices are disenfranchised nationally.

Their executive branch, legislative branch, and judicial branch are elected via popular vote. For those who are scared that Republicans would never win another election ever again if we actually implemented popular-vote elections, look ant Illinois. They had a Republican Governor before JB Pritzker took office. (They have, however, lost a lot of ground and relevancy in the state, especially in the suburbs. But those votes are fairly moderate and— if the Republican Party was actually willing to try to cater to these voters and willing to pass popular legislation to ease the strain on their pocket-books, they can be swayed.)

A state with demographics proportional to the whole nation has a Democratic super majority and has in recent years made the state a safe haven for gender queer people, pregnant people, and worker’s rights. They have eliminated cash bail and implemented common-sense gun laws to curb gun violence in the state. They eliminated their PNA and passed a worker’s right constitutional amendment. The have some of the toughest biometrics privacy laws in the nation. They’ve banned book bans. After years of fiscal trouble, they have balanced their budget and paid down large chunks of their debt. They went from one of the most anti-choice states in the Union in the 1990s to one of the most pro-choice states today. They have been making moves to expand healthcare and reform long-term care, including new regulations for nursing homes and expanded funding for mental healthcare and insurance access for immigrants. (Although, health and social services ate still critically underfunded due to years of austerity under Republican control and a lack of budget for years under Republican control.)

If you want to understand the state of American public transit, American poverty and poverty reduction, American violence and violence reduction, the housing crises and it’s proposed solutions, American business and jobs post-pandemic, or American infrastructure, look no further than Illinois.

If you want to understand American political conflict and violence, look no further than Illinois.

There is a reason the Democratic National Convention is taking place in Illinois. And there is a reason every last Republican on the Republican debate stage warned the audience of Illinois. (“We don’t want to be like Illinois!”)

Keep your eyes on Illinois for changes in American public opinion and foreign policy. What happens in Illinois will be indicative of what the American public supports. If Illinois stances change, it is likely to predict a coming national shift in the Democratic party’s stance.

[aidenoconnell]

the last piece.

Aiden knows how to work a loophole when it’s a necessity to him. Not to mention, his parole officer Karl is as dumb as bricks. It’s actually kind of painful because Aiden was looking forward to what kind of disciplinary actions were going to be taken and so far it’s been: stay out of trouble and find a job… both are happening but not in the eyes of the law. So getting a hall pass to go to New York comes way easier than he expected and god, he could probably make it to Morocco and live free without extradition. The point is, Aiden gets to New York City without much of a hassle and he takes in every single building taller than the Salesforce Tower back home. And there’s plenty of them here. He gets it, why Ryan came back here, it feels like a completely different world and she can blend in without issue. 

He weighs the pros and cons that Ryan might not like that he’s come here but he’s got to try his luck and see if he can sway her. Worth a shot. The nice thing is that Ryan is a touch predictable if you know her, she has her own things that make her tick just like everyone else. So when he finds her on Madison looking at shoes, it’s almost thrilling to see her addiction hasn’t lifted. He pulls open the door and walks into the store, glancing around and there’s a few people in there with one of the employees greeting him and he nods in a hello. Aiden adjusts his jacket, glancing at the wall of shoes as he hears Ryan talk to the girl helping her.

“Don’t you have four pairs of those?” He comments.

“Five, actually,” she says but her tone fluctuates at the end as he can sense her freeze for a moment and slowly turns herself to look at him. Confusion, it’s the main expression everyone has given him and he expects nothing less at this point. “Aiden?”

He smiles, taking the shoe from her hand to look at while Ryan continues to stare at him. There’s not even a price on the shoe, so Ryan must be doing well for herself. It’s only a second later Ryan is hugging him and he returns the embrace, the sales woman a little perplexed but she takes the shoe and mentions something about going to find a size seven in the back. 

“How are you out?” Ryan pulls back and looks at him like it’s unbelievable. “Did you bribe someone?”

Aiden chuckles and rolls his eyes, “No. I didn’t bribe anyway. I behaved.”

“Didn’t think that was in the O’Connell blood.” She hums and he laughs again, then her face changes like she realizes where they are for a moment. “How are you here?” Ryan whispers and maybe they shouldn’t be discussing this here. So Ryan tells him to wait as she goes to the girl and puts her shoes (that she does not need) on hold and tugs on Aiden’s jacket to go outside.

“Long story short, I have a hall pass and I need to talk to you. Rob told me where you were,” Aiden explains. Ryan hums but possibly sounds like a groan, sticking her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. They walk for a moment and Aiden decides to clarify. “It’s not about August and whatever the fuck he did or didn’t do, I don’t think I could attempt to get some reconciliation even if you wanted to.”

Ryan rolls her eyes. “At least you know I’m not interested.” She replies but Aiden thinks her voice sounds a little different. He won’t push it. “So what is it?”

They get steered into the park, a little more private and less noise for them to talk. “We need to get that money back, so I need some help. Need your help.”

“Who is we?”

“Me, Rob, Kian, Daisy, August… Vic.” He replies and yes, he is definitely still pissed at Vic. “You.”

Ryan stops and Aiden does too, turning to look at her. She processes for a minute, firstly about how Aiden is here and out of jail and the fact it’s been five damn years. The second being she was texting a bit with Luci today and there was no mention of him. Which means… she doesn’t know? He hasn’t gone to see her? That feels like something big to unpack there. And third, he needs her help for some kind of revenge scheme which she completely understands. 

And while it seems like a group project, August is there.

“Equal cuts, no strings attached. We get what we’re owed and a little more, then you can do whatever you want with that.” Aiden continues on, trying to sell her a deal and there’s some hint of desperation there that she’s only seen once before and it was about Luci. Ryan begins to walk again, he follows. She is quiet. “What are you worried about?”

“You were in jail for five years, that’s what I’m worried about. I probably should have been there too,” Ryan tells him. “And now you’re here again, open to living a normal life and you want to pull a job? A big job, Aiden?”

“Saying no would be easier, Claremont.”

Ryan shakes her head, “I’m not saying no. I’m stating facts because I know Rob gives you unconditional support, so does Vic. And you know I’m not one to back down from something, but have you thought it through? I mean fucking sat down and went through it and what it could cost again?”

Aiden looks at her and he knows what she’s motioning towards. And while it’s harsh, it’s the first time he doesn’t feel irritated by it. “I’m going to talk to her when I get back,” he tells her. “Something came up. I had a setback.”

“A setback?” She’s confused.

Aiden sticks his hands in his pockets too, looking down at the walking path. “Vic and Luci… guess that was a thing.” Ryan stops him and it’s enough indication to know she didn’t know. That clears a few things up. “It’s fine. So what do you think?” 

There’s another round of silence, a few cyclists zooming by and some walking groups moving pass them. Ryan rolls her head, reacclimating herself as she’s had to process a lot in a short amount of time. “If I come back it’s for you, not him.” She says and Aiden bites his tongue about it. Safe to say August and Ryan have their own tornado to manage. 

“Come back for yourself.”

[eisforeidolon]

This is the thing. Nobody with a modicum of sense believes anything that comes out of Misha's mouth without outside corroboration.

Why would he lie? Because he's always trolled the fandom. Because he so blatantly contradicts what the rest of the cast/crew/production all say on specific issues. Because he so blatantly contradicts his own previous versions of stories. Because his revisions ever more consistently try to rewrite reality to match a narrative of him being a wronged, bullied victim fighting a righteous crusade against ~*homophobia*~ to make that ship canon ... which just so happens to be exactly what the only people still giving him money/paying to see him at conventions desperately want to believe of him (and themselves).

Despite all of that obvious, certain "fans" continue to latch onto his bullshitting to insist it PROVES something - not because he has any credibility whatsoever, but because they have never cared about reality or facts, just pushing their agenda above all. The one they're still trying to make happen somehow four years after the show has ended. Sure, it didn't work when they did it for over a decade during the run of the canon, but this time, this time, surely they can MAKE a revival cater to them!!! If they just blather on long enough and loud enough, surely they can convince a critical mass of fans and - through their numbers - TPTB that:

Jared is evil and therefore can't be in a revival.

Misha is totally lead material and can take his place.

Jensen wants D/C to be canon now, of course he's changed his mind about what the story is REALLY about since the last time anyone asked.

The majority of the audience wants D/C to be canon.

There was totally for realz a romance storyline in there ... uh ... somewhere! No, everywhere! Cake/colors/wardrobe/eye contact!!!

D/C was going to happen if not for a network conspiracy, and it actively harmed LGBT+ people as a whole for there not to be a Dean and Castiel reciprocation/make out/wedding.

Obviously the only way to go forward is a D/C-centric revival ASAP!!!

The part where all of that is batshit nonsense with no basis whatsoever in reality? Not important. It's why they're so predictable it often seems like they're reading out of some kind of cult handbook. Every single thing they say leads back to the same rotten roots of being unhealthily obsessed with and feeling entitled to their ship being made canon - and believing if they just repeat enough bullshit at a loud enough volume, that's the same thing as it being actually convincing and/or true!

So long as some core contingent of hellers still believe there's some potential for a revival? They're going to keep on attempting to manufacture outrage at literally anything Jared says or does as The Worst Evar and insist no one likes him in pathetically deluded hopes of getting rid of him, insisting Misha is the only truth teller on SPN (but only when he says what they want) and Castiel is integral to SPN (despite, you know, the show itself), wildly fluctuating about Jensen depending on where they are in their toilet bowl circle of creatively reinterpreting what he says, insisting that ambiguous queerbait death scene was magically not ambiguous because ... they say so, loudly asserting they are the majority of the audience and speak for everyone but a tiny few, and playing the victims as a disadvantaged group being taken advantage of and hurt rather than the entitled, intentionally self-deluding bullies they are. Why? In the hopes of swaying other "fans" like the above who *want* to believe, despite common sense. And because, again, at the end of the day? They've based their entire fandom personas around the self-delusion that they're not just entitled slash shippers who hate the canon they hung their bad fanon on, they're warriors for an Important Cause that Matters!!!

LMAOOO Yeah, a lot know he's bullshitting. Just the stupid ones like Tiffany and Dottie believe him. "Why would he lie??" 🤣🤣Because that's who he is, you loser. He lies for sport, like your buddy Syd, said. This is funny. Lol

[aomine-ryo]

Hi can you do a jealousy headcanon for GOM? 💜

Of course! Hope you like it :)

Headcanons: GOM getting jealous

Kuroko

He doesn’t get jealous very often because he just has so much trust in you

If he ever does, he’s really subtle about it that you won’t even notice unless he tells you

He knew that he could talk to you about anything so he was never particularly uncomfortable with you being around other guys

There was a boy in your class who you had been getting quite close to

He quickly became a good friend of yours, and you’d often hang out with him when Kuroko was busy

He was objectively rather attractive, but you didn’t really see him that way because you only really had eyes for Kuroko

Kuroko wasn’t in your class so he’d sometimes see you walking around the school hallways, however more often than not, you would be with that boy

He seemed like a nice and earnest guy, which is probably why Kuroko began to feel a little threatened by him

Not knowing any better, you invited your friend to come watch one of Kuroko’s practice games with you since you could use the company

Kuroko wasn’t very pleased to see him to say the least

He’d usually glance over at you during games because seeing you watching him motivated him to do better

But now when he looked at you, he’d see you talking to that boy and he’d just feel annoyed

And it definitely showed in the way he played as well because his moves became uninspired and predictable

You went to grab some food with Kuroko’s team and your friend afterwords and Kuroko would not keep his hands off of you

He’d constantly be holding your hand

And he’d leave absolutely no space between you two

Of course, you noticed all of this, but you didn’t want to bring it up in front of everyone

“Hey, so you’ve been spending a lot of time with that guy from your class, huh?” Kuroko said when the two of you were walking back home together

“Yeah, I suppose,” you shrugged, beginning to connect the dots

“Hm,” he hummed, his grip on your hand getting a bit tighter

“Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s nothing,” he mumbled

“You’re jealous aren’t you?” you grinned

His face just became red as he averted his gaze

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he denied almost instantly

“So that’s why you were being so touchy back there,” you giggled

“Well I was just making sure he knew that you were mine,” he said, finally deciding to give in

“For what it’s worth, you really don’t need to worry about him— I’m sure he knows.”

“I’m not a violent person but if he tries anything, let him know he can catch these hands,” he said, clenching his other fist and holding it up

“Tetsu, he’s twice your size, but sure.”

Kise

Okay so we know that Kise is really cold with people he generally doesn’t respect

Well, this coldness becomes so amplified when he sees someone he doesn’t know with you

The two of you were on a date at a cafe once and he went to the cashier to place your order while you remained seated at your table

That was when a classmate of yours spotted you and approached you

“Y/N? Didn’t expect to run into you here,” he said, grinning widely before engaging in conversation with you

Meanwhile, Kise was standing in the queue, glaring at you two

In Kise’s eyes, he was very obviously flirting with you— and he was, you just didn’t realise it

Every moment that he looked at you two angered him more and more

The damn boy even made himself comfortable by taking Kise’s seat

Was what he said so funny that you needed to be giggling like that?

Kise hastily placed his order and then stormed over to your table, not bothering to wait for your food

The boy was just about to reach out to touch you when Kise slammed his hand down on the table, startling both of you

He didn’t intend to do it with so much force but it just happened and he didn’t care

“Hey Y/N-cchi, who’s this?” Kise snarled, voice calm but menacing at the same time

“Oh hey Ryouta, this is Satou, a classmate of mine,” you introduced innocently

“Hi there,” Kise said, flashing him a fake smile and not even bothering to register his name in his head, “Y/N-cchi and I are kind of on a date right now, and you’re in my seat.”

Kise took your hand that was resting on the table and squeezed it tight, making the jealousy much more obvious to you

Your classmate visibly showed his annoyance through an eye roll as he stood up from Kise’s seat

“Alright,” he sighed. “See you around, Y/N.”

His and Kise’s eyes were shooting daggers at each other at this point

“Sure you will,” Kise mumbled sarcastically as he watched him walk off

“Babe they’ve been waving at you from the counter for the past two minutes now, trying to get your attention,” you pointed out, looking at the worker who was just about to give up and bring the order to you herself

“Ah crap,” Kise muttered before rushing over to meet the worker halfway and apologise

“I think someone got a bit carried away with their jealousy, don’t you think?” you said once he got back

“Tch, the guy goes to our school. He should know that you’re mine by now. Yet he still thought he had a shot, what an idiot,” Kise scoffed, just the thought of the boy talking to you getting him riled up again

“You’re intimidating when you’re jealous, it’s weird.”

“Weird? I can be intimidating! Why is that weird?” Kise pouted, switching back to his usual eccentric self

“Because you still sleep with stuffed animals, Ryouta,” you giggled

“And so do you, what’s your point?”

Midorima

So he’s not one to really initiate things like PDA

He’s the kind of guy that just holds your hand in public and that’s about it

However when he gets jealous, he becomes a whole other type of possessive

You’d be hanging out with him and a few of your friends from school

And one of the guys would constantly flirt with you

You didn’t really think too much of it because you thought he was just being friendly

But between the flirtatious teasing and unnecessary touching, Midorima was slowly losing his patience

He’d be really subtle at first

He’d hold your hand a bit tighter and hold you by your waist every now and then, all while eyeing the guy down in hopes that he’d get the message

Obviously, it wasn’t enough because he’d barely even notice Midorima and would continue chatting away with you as if your boyfriend wasn’t right there

“Hey Y/N, do you wanna go to that manga store over there together?” your friend said, seemingly inviting only you even though there were five other people in your group

“Actually, Y/N and I were just planning on leaving, sorry,” Midorima intervened, the ‘sorry’ oozing with so much sarcasm that it was clear that he really didn’t like the guy

“Oh already? You don’t have to leave just because Midorima is, you know,” your friend said

Hahaha it took everything in Midorima to not send him flying like his three pointers

“Excuse me? I think you’re crossing the line there a bit, don’t you think—“

“It’s getting pretty late, we should get going,” you said quickly before things could escalate

After shooting one last glare at your friend, Midorima walked away with you

“The nerve of that guy— unbelievable,” Midorima sighed

“I thought you were going to punch him or something, that’s why I stopped you so quickly,” you giggled

“Honestly, I might have,” Midorima chuckled. “How are you even friends with someone like him?”

“I guess he’s just friendly,” you shrugged. “Looks like someone was a bit jealous though.”

“Please, why would I be jealous of an idiot like him,” Midorima scoffed

He’d never admit to an emotion like jealousy— ever

Aomine

Oh god this boy does not handle jealousy well

He would 100% break someone’s nose if he feels like they’re getting too close

The two of you were at a party once and Aomine decided to take a break from dancing for a moment to grab a drink

So he was leaning against the wall sipping on his drink while watching you on the dance floor

Of course, he wasn’t very pleased to find you dancing with some other guy

Aomine recognised him as someone who went to your school, so he very well could just be a friend of yours

However that didn’t stop him from feeling a growing amount of jealousy as each moment passed

Did you really need to be dancing that close to him?

Aomine should be the only one you dance like that with

He was already a bit tipsy so he may not have been thinking straight

But he completely lost it when he saw your bodies swaying so carelessly together

Next thing he knew, he was storming over to the dance floor

You didn’t even notice him until you were suddenly ripped away from the boy you were previously dancing with

And once again you were dancing with Aomine

He was holding your waist tight and his face was as close as ever

“What do you think you’re doing dancing like that with someone else?” Aomine growled

“Why? Is someone jealous?” you joked as you continued to move along with him to the music

“Don’t tease around like that. You’re all mine, don’t you realise?” he grinned, shoving his lips onto yours before you could say another word

The kiss was desperate and heavy, and as a result, sloppy— not that you minded too much

After seeing that act, the guy from earlier backed off, though you didn’t even notice or care for that matter

I mean, why would you care about any other guy when Aomine Daiki was in front of you?

Murasakibara

He gets jealous very easily

He’s like a child when it comes to most things— he doesn’t share

You’ve had your fair share of encounters with other guys that ended with Murasakibara scaring them off

The two of you were seated on the couch together on your phones

There was absolutely no reason for Murasakibara to have come over to your house just to be on his phone, but he just enjoyed your presence

You were scrolling through TikTok because you’d run out of things to do

You landed on a video of these two shirtless boys dancing to a song that you liked so you just watched for the hell of it

You started scrolling through the comments while the video kept replaying, garnering Murasakibara’s attention

The second he saw what you were watching his possessiveness just kicked in

“You really like watching those boys, huh?” he said, glaring at the boys as if they could see through the screen

“Not really, I just like the song,” you shrugged before turning to him with a smirk, “why? Are you jealous?”

“Well if it means I can get more of your attention then sure, I guess I’m jealous,” he answered simply. “Do I have to take my shirt off and do a dance too?”

“I wasn’t going to say that, but now that you mention it, I’d love to see it,” you giggled

Next thing you knew, he wrapped his arms around you, sending you toppling back onto the couch

“Too bad I can’t dance, I guess you’ll have to make do with some kisses for now,” he said softly, making your heart flutter

“Ah dammit, I wanted to see you dance,” you sighed, pretending to be disappointed

“Shut up,” he groaned, before pressing his lips against yours

This was what he was usually like when he got jealous though

He wouldn’t necessarily get angry or anything like that unless a guy was relentlessly hitting on you

But he’d just become really lovey and clingy just as a way of reminding you that it was him who’d love you the most

Akashi

We all know he’s a classy gentleman

So you can’t expect any dramatic outbursts from him when he gets jealous

He’s always able to keep a calm and composed exterior (not that that’s ever stopped anyone from feeling threatened by him)

Anyone who knew Akashi knew never to mess with him

And they especially knew how much he valued you so one step too far would probably lead to their demise

However, there was one boy at a dinner party you both attended who somehow didn’t get the memo

You ended up being seated in the middle of him and Akashi, which gave him the opportunity to chat with you as much as he liked

Of course, Akashi wasn’t the most pleased to hear what he had to say to you

It was very obviously some awful flirting

You just thought he was being friendly so you entertained his conversation

“Y/N, maybe you should stop chatting and eat— your food is getting cold,” Akashi said in attempt to get him to stop— it was getting frustrating at this point

For the rest of the night, Akashi remained clung onto you with his arm around your waist, monitoring every movement of that boy

It was particularly strange because Akashi was the type to mingle at events like these so you knew something was wrong

Akashi’s cold gaze seemed to be enough to make the guy keep his distance though

Akashi is just too powerful lmao

Once the two of you got back home, Akashi pounced to kiss you almost immediately

“Woah what was that for?” you asked when you pulled away from the kiss that seemed so urgent

“You looked gorgeous tonight, I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” Akashi said sweetly

“Aww, thank you, Sei.”

“A lot of people seemed to think so too by the looks of it. Especially that guy that sat next to you at the table,” Akashi pointed out

“Oh. Did you get jealous or something?” you questioned

“Well, yes. I want to be the only one looking at you like that. But I guess it can’t be helped sometimes,” he said, body still as close to yours as ever

“You’re the only one I want so you don’t have to worry for even a moment,” you said reassuringly

“Then that’s all that matters,” Akashi said with a smile before pulling you in for a soft kiss filled with nothing but adoration

[oro-e-diamanti]

The one with the matchmaking

My masterlist

Description | Victoria is desperate to set you and Thomas up... Might there be a spark already?

Content | Fluff

Pairing | fem!Reader x Thomas

Word Count | 2663

Taglist (add yourself here!) | @mywritingonlyfans @damianodavide @lizstans @its-afucking-mess @ethaneskin @dont-let-me-drown-in-you @vampirtet @lividisuigomiti @tabi-toast @ethan-torchio-angelo @cheese-toastie-11 @thewitchinthemountain @ethanesimp @sofckinelectric @man3skin @daddydamiano @finelinejpm @superchrystaldrug @ginny-lily @nientedaridere @shaunthesheesh @damianodavidhands @teatrodellavita @coven-daddy @solasullabarca @foryourllove @makapaka11 @slave4yourlove @geklutst-ei @marriedwithmarktuan @bookish0918 @mehrmonga @ginny-lily @ohtorchio @messyhairday-me @bidet-and-legolas @maybanksslut @katyldamusic @fuckim-so-gay @demoiselle-en-detresse00

***

There had been an unspoken thing between you and Thomas from the first day you met. It was one of those right person, wrong time scenarios. Both of you were happily taken by other people, loving your partners, and leading healthy relationships. It simply hadn't been meant to be and both of you had gladly accepted it. Nothing had ever happened, despite the others insisting there must have, neither of you was like that. So you stayed friends with him, the same way you stayed friends with Victoria, Damiano, and Ethan and it didn't take long for the five of you to grow into a loving group, a chosen family. That was until both you and Thomas happened to have broken up with your respective partners within the same week. It was safe to say that it didn't take long for the meddling to start.

***

"I just think they'd make such a good couple!" Victoria said, pushing the empty beer bottles around on the table in annoyance. "They're basically made for each other."

"Leave it, Vic," Ethan said. The dark of the bar was hiding his features and the fact he was slightly rolling his eyes. "They both literally just got out of relationships, I don't think they're interested."

"But they both ended them so it's not like they've been broken up with," she insisted. "I'm sure they'll get over it quickly enough."

"Yeah I agree with Vic," Damiano added. "It's not like either of them seems all that heartbroken."

"Exactly, which is why we need to act now!"

"I still don't think it's a good idea," Ethan sighed. "Just let them figure it out on their own."

"But they're idiots! They'll never figure it out!"

Damiano couldn't help laugh out loud. He knew his friend was onto something, both Thomas and Y/n tended to be hilariously oblivious when it came to things like these.

"Maybe they just need a little push," he agreed.

"Fine." A deep sigh escaped Ethan. "But don't say I didn't warn you if it doesn't work out."

***

The moment you stepped into the vintage second-hand store you decided it was heaven on earth. It didn't take long for you to sweep through the place like a whirlwind, picking up pieces left and right, leaving Victoria and Thomas standing at the entrance still. You didn't care, this was one of your favourite places and you were not going to be held back because those two were slow. You tried on a dress that looked like an absolute mess on you and you quickly took a picture to laugh at later with the others, before trying on some trousers that you really took a liking to. You were still in them, trying to figure out if you had also grabbed a top that would match when someone knocked on the wood of the changing room. Confused and not certain if the noise was directed at you, you pulled back the curtain to come face to face with Thomas. He noticed you were in your bra before you did.

You raised your eyebrows, overly amused at how he was nervously looking around to figure out if anyone else would be able to see her, but no one seemed to be around. As he turned back, he tried not to let his gaze fall into her chest again, but failed miserably. You laughed heartily, "It's fine, stop blushing, Thomas."

He grinned, more relaxed not that he knew you didn't mind. He shouldn't, this being far from the first time he'd seen you like this.

"Vic told me to give you this dress to try on."

You looked at the piece of fabric he handed you, a gorgeous, velvety black, knee-high dress with a dangerous slit and a plunging neckline. It wasn't something you would have chosen yourself, but you trusted Vic's judgment. The curtain was quickly closed again, removing the trousers you had already decided on and slipped on the dress. It fell in a much nicer way than you had anticipated, easily smoothing itself over your curves and settling perfectly in place. The mirror agreed with your sentiment - you looked gorgeous. Okay, so this dress would do with a bit more makeup and without a bra, but it was a no-brainer that you were going to buy it.

You ripped open the curtain, now facing both of your friends. As soon as Vic saw you, she seemed as smitten with it as you were. Thomas looked stunned in his own way but stayed quiet.

"Fuck, I knew that was your dress!" Victoria shouted, obviously proud of herself for picking it out.

"Where am I ever going to wear this?" You asked, spinning to muster your reflection once again.

"When I take you out tomorrow night," Vic grinned. "There's a gorgeous new restaurant in town but it's fancy fancy, so this will do just fine."

You couldn't help but squint your eyes at her through the mirror. Her suggestion sounded just fine, but the way her eyes flickered made you feel like there was something more to the story.

***

"Wait, so how will you going out with her to dinner help, exactly?"

"Oh, Damiano, stop being so dumb. Obviously, I won't go."

"I don't get it."

"I'll have some sort of last-minute emergency, and since both of you will be out of the house, Thomas will have to step in."

Ethan sighed, shaking his head at his friend's plan.

"Why do you have to meddle so much, Vic?"

"Because those two don't get it. But once they see each other all dressed up, romantic dinner, candles, good wine, it'll click."

"Whatever you say."

***

"Oh my god, Y/n, I'm so sorry!" Victoria burst into your room, Chili cradled in her arms and an apologetic look on her face. "I know we said we'd go to that fancy restaurant tonight, but Chili's been coughing and the vet told me to come in immediately."

You side-eyed the little white dog, looking as happy as can be, but there was no reason for you not to trust Victoria. Right? You briefly petted Chili's head.

"Don't worry about it, we can always go some other time."

"No!" Her outburst surprised you. "I mean, it's so difficult to get a reservation there and you should wear your dress out. Damiano and Ethan are out, but I'm pretty sure Thomas is free, please ask him, he'd probably love to go with you!"

You wanted to scold Victoria, tell her this wasn't happening, tell her you'd be fine just staying home, but she didn't give you a chance to do any of it. Instead, she left your room, immediately shouting for her bandmate. It was the reason you found yourself at a candlelit dinner with the blond man mere hours later.

"You look amazing, by the way," Thomas said. Well, he actually kind of mumbled it into his pasta rather than proudly state it. You felt like blushing.

"So do you, love. But you know I love you in a suit."

Your eyes met, just for a moment, before both of you found yourselves awkwardly staring back at your plates again. You didn't know why you were behaving like this, or why he was, you could only attribute it to the fact that this felt like an overly romantic date and the waiter had referred to you as his girlfriend multiple times already. Neither of you had corrected him. You hadn't minded the single rose that had been placed between you on the table, accompanied by a little wink and a smile by the waiter.

"You know, you make a lousy boyfriend, not even bringing me flowers for our date, " you teased, watching as a shy smile appeared on Thomas' face, his eyes travelling down the table for a second before looking at you again with more than a twinkle.

"I did take you to the nicest restaurant in town, surely that gets me some points?"

The giggle bubbled over your lips easily. Everything came easy with Thomas. He made the troubles disappear with one look, one touch of a hand, a single word, a gesture, his existence. He was your own personal cure to everything.

***

"No, I'm telling you, it worked," Victoria excitedly gasped and she gathered in the kitchen with Damiano and Ethan, trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible. "You should have seen them when they came back!"

"Did you actually wait up for them?" Ethan asked, slightly disbelieving, slightly amused.

"Well, they didn't know obviously! I just cracked my bedroom door open a bit. But they were all giggly and happy and they hugged when they said goodnight!"

"Vic, we all hug all the time," Damiano threw in.

"Not the way they did. I'm serious, this is working and you'll see soon enough!"

"So what's the next idea then?"

"I'm... I'm not quite sure," she admitted. "But I'll figure it out and it'll be perfect."

***

The thunderstorm hadn't been predicted by any of the weather channels. You found yourself standing in front of the patio doors with Thomas, watching the heavy rain disturb the surface or the pool, trees swaying in the wind, a flash of light illuminating the garden in regular intervals. It had only been the two of you home when it had started, everyone else out to meet friends or sitting in a bar with a drink in their hand. You had been having a lazy day, unwilling to leave the house at all, while Thomas had slept for so long no one had bothered trying to wake him so he could join in on plans.

"Do you want to compare our favourite records?"

You had been so focused on the happenings outside of the glass that you almost flinched in surprise at his question. Still, a slight smile, the right kind of look, and you were nodding enthusiastically. Hasting up the stairs, barefoot and in nothing but shorts and the shirt you usually slept in, you went through the little collection you had brought to the summer house, already hearing the first notes of Led Zeppelin's Black Dog echoing downstairs. With a smile on your face, you grabbed a few records and bolted back down to Thomas.

"I still prefer Led Zeppelin III," you giggled, only to be greeted with Thomas' shocked face. "Anything that has Immigrant Song on it is a hit, really."

"Blasphemy! Nothing tops IV, and you clearly have no taste."

"You clearly have no taste considering you think anything Led Zeppelin has put out is better than Fleetwood Mac's Rumours." You barely waited for the first song of Thomas' album of choice to finish playing before interrupting it with the sound of Second Hand News.

It didn't take long for the conversation to get heated. Still, you kept playing your record in the background, effortlessly dodging his effort to change it, even though the whole thing had been his idea in the first place. He was still complaining, explaining, talking to a wall basically, as you danced around the living room, as the music flowed through you, singing along, thunder only happens when it's raining, as the weather outside did its worst.

"I just think it's much too sad, most of it," Thomas finally concluded.

"Doesn't that just make it so beautiful though?"

"No, it just makes me sad," he pouted.

"Maybe you just never listened to it the way you should. In the arms of someone you love."

A heartbeat passed as both of you looked at each other, but then your smile returned and you motioned for him to get on the sofa with you, lying on your side as he slowly but surely moved in front of you. Your arms wrapped around him, spooning him, making you feel safer than you ever have as Songbird played in quiet tones.

Your nose buried itself in his hair, letting his smell fill your every pore, taking over your whole being as you pressed into him, singing along in nothing but a whisper.

"And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before."

***

"Guys, guys, guys, look at that!" Victoria called out to her friends as they quietly made their way into the house. "I knew it would be such a good idea to leave them alone in the house!"

"Vic, it's not like you made a thunderstorm come along, I'm pretty sure this was not your doing for once," Damiano whispered.

"Doesn't matter! Look at them spooning! We're on the right way, guys!"

"We're not on any way," Ethan threw in. "You keep trying to meddle and the two of them are going their own ways."

"They just need another push. I just gotta think of something."

***

"Hey, they let you feed the goats here!" Victoria squealed as everyone around her let out a groan. The zoo was bustling with people, the five friends surrounded by families, and Vic easily fell in line with the children's excitement.

"Vic, I really really don't like goats," you complained. "I'd rather not get their attention because I got food in my hands."

"Fine. How about you go see the owls over there with... Thomas, and I go feed some adorable goats with Ethan and Damiano?"

The both of you allowed yourselves to be pushed away easily, chuckles on your faces as you walked away from the rest of the group, dodging running toddlers as you went.

"So, this is a set-up, huh?" Thomas grinned next to you as his arm slid around your waist, pulling you closer.

"Oh, as if Victoria has been doing anything these past weeks without hidden intentions." You let yourself mold into Thomas' side, leaning in closer until your bodies were touching as much as physically possible. "She's not half as subtle about this as she thinks. I'm sure she's watching right now."

You didn't turn around, but you felt her eyes on the pair of you, watching your every move and trying to figure out what was going on between the two of you.

"Do you wanna give her a show?" You playfully pinched his site, looking at him from the corner of your eyes just to see a smile appear on his face that was surely mirroring yours. "Make out a little bit?"

"Wouldn't that give it away?" He stopped walking, now wrapping both of his arms around you as you leaned on his chest, looking up at him.

"I'm sure she'd still think it's just a first step in the right direction."

Not waiting for his response, your hand reached up to his face, slowly stroking along the soft skin of his cheek, thumb running over his lower lip as his smile grew, then reaching around, tangling them into his hair and pulling him down to you. His lips met yours in a sigh, warm and lovely, a tingling feeling spreading through you immediately, pressing yourself into him. You could feel his thumb stroking your back ever so slightly as he held you. He wanted more, slowly moving his lips, trying to deepen the kiss, but you pulled away. Close enough to still feel his breath on you, close enough that whispering would be enough.

"Now, we don't want Vic to figure it all out immediately," you grinned before putting more distance between the two of you. He groaned, making you giggle, before taking your hand and pulling you along.

"How much longer are you planning to keep this up?" Thomas asked, shaking his head, but still amused. "We've been together for two weeks."

"Pretty sure she already bought tickets for the cinema for me and her for Wednesday... which she'll inexplicably have no time for so you'll have to come along, obviously. I can give you a hickey in the dark theater, she'll freak."

Thomas laughed out loud, pressing a single kiss to the top of your head.

"Fine. One more date, that's it?"

"One more date."

[insane-arcane]

Hey there! I saw this post and I was wondering if you were still accepting input, feedback, and/or predictions? Not sure which of those three the text below fits lol I just want to say I absolutely loved part one and I’m stoked to hear you’re doing a second part. I can’t wait to see what happens.

I could really see Silco trying to get the reader to turn their allegiance from Topside to the Undercity, specifically to him. In part one, you mentioned that Silco wondered if the reader had roots in Zaun, due to how well they blended in and how they helped Zaunites (not sure if I spelled that right) get out of prison. That line really stood out to me. I think Silco would really play up the fact that reader has essentially been abandoned by Topside. He’d point out that the reader was betrayed by one of the people they trusted the most. (And we all know how Silco feels about betrayal...) I’d like to think that Silco picked up on Marcus’s jealousy towards the reader. Silco is definitely going to use his observations to sway the reader to his side. He’ll get the reader to reflect on how competitive Marcus was during childhood, how he always seemed to one up the reader. Silco would comment that Marcus didn’t hesitate to accept the position previously held by the reader’s mentor. Didn’t they think it was odd that Marcus was so ready to acceptance promotion while they were in despair grieving over the loss of their coworker. Wasn’t strange that Marcus didn’t use his power and position to help figure out who was responsible for Grayson’s demise?

I don’t think Silco would just stop with Marcus. He would point out all the subtle ways the reader was ostracized in Topside. The side eyed glances their coworkers gave each other when the reader tried to help the wrongly imprisoned Undercity citizens or tried to fight corruption within the enforcers. Silco would say the reader was treated as an outsider in their own home town, all because the reader wanted to make an actual difference. The readers coworkers never cared about them. If they truly cared, Someone would have gone searching for the reader by now.

I think that’s when the reality of the situation would hit the reader. No one is coming for them. It’s the moment Silco has been waiting for, the readers breaking point. It’s as beautiful as he imagined. He broke them and now Silco will build them back up. They will be perfect. When the reader is the depths of despair, Silco will console them and the reader will let him. They no longer lean away from his touch, it’s all they have now. Silco is all they have now. He knows what it’s like to betrayed by someone you trust. He’d tell the reader not to cry, not to waste tears on Topside. The reader was never one of them. The reader would never belong in Topside. And honestly why would they? After all, they belong in the Under city, they belong at the Eye of Zaun’s side.

First off I'm so glad my ideas are taking off and that you guys love them and wanting more parts. Second you really just went and wrote me a mini fic in itself for this a.u. You took the thoughts out of my head and sent them to me. Wow!!! Like thankyou so much I'm very flattered! :D

This is really close to what I'm planning for part two and I'm going to incorporate a lot of these same ideas. Let's just say Marcus and Reader see each other again and it's not pretty. Marcus should be glad Reader cares about Ren enough to make sure her father doesn't end up dead. Silco is a master manipulator for sure and he's not above changing Readers perception of their past memories and present emotions to fit his twisted desires and narrative. This a.u is going to get really dark before it gets any better for Reader. I'm thinking I'll write a good ending and a bad ending so people can chose what they want.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s Divination Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 占卜之约, which has not been released in EN! 🍒

[ Released on 16 September 2021 ]

MC: Gavin, I’ve been way too unlucky recently! I fell down while riding a bicycle, the water supply was cut halfway during a shower, and last week, three flights were delayed by more than two hours within the span of three days... Sob sob, life is so difficult...

It’s a Saturday, and Gavin has come over to my house to kill time as usual. The moment we meet, I can’t help but wail about how I painstakingly got through the week. 

As though he’s comforting a small animal, his palm gently covers the top my head.

Gavin: You’ve already told me these things.

He pulls me over to sit on the sofa, then leans over to look at my knee. Knowing his intentions and feeling afraid that he’s genuinely worried, I hurriedly wave my hands.

MC: Actually, it wasn’t a serious fall, and my skin didn’t tear. There were a few red cuts, but they're gone now.

Even after confirming the veracity of what I said, Gavin doesn’t straighten up. His fingers rub my knee, conveying his belated consolation.

After a while, he rests an arm on the sofa while turning his head towards me.

Gavin: Want to drink milk tea or eat cake? Didn’t you say that with these two things, even the worst of moods can be turned into the clearest of skies?

With this reminder, a location instantly flashes past my mind.

MC: Let’s drink coffee!

I reach for my phone on the coffee table. Tapping on my saved searches, I show Gavin a shop.

MC: This one - Witch Café. The name’s a little outdated, but it’s really popular recently. I’ve seen many people checking in on Moments. 

MC: The manager of this shop knows divination, and the reviews mentioned that she’s really accurate... 

MC: Also, if the results from the divination aren’t that great, she could help turn my fortune around. 

MC: The shop sells lots of objects used for changing one’s fortune, such as crystal rings and bracelets. 

MC: I think what I need most right now, aside from you... would be a change of fortune!

Gavin bursts into a laugh, then lifts his head to look at me.

Gavin: It’s my fault for not learning divination to change your fortune for the better. Otherwise, you’d only need me.

Gavin’s quick wit causes me to do a thumbs-up.

MC: Wow. Your logic... makes a little bit of sense.

He scrolls down my phone screen, taking a casual look at the café’s introduction.

Gavin: Mm, it looks really interesting and isn’t very far.

MC: It’s really nearby. It’s only a few kilometres away, and there definitely won’t be a traffic jam at his hour. But it’s the weekend, so I’m not sure if we’d need to queue.

Gavin takes my phone from my hand, then pushes me on the back gently.

Gavin: Get changed. I’ll give them a call to make a reservation.

I immediately get up, giving him a deliberately formal bow.

MC: Understood.

-

The internet-famous café is even more popular than I imagined. Although it isn’t time for afternoon tea yet, the shop is already fully packed.

Fortunately, we’re seated in a relatively quiet corner next to the window. However, we can still hear a few ladies from the neighbouring table fervently discussing the results of their divination.

I tug on Gavin’s sleeve from across the table.

MC: Gavin, you’ve never believed in such things, have you?

Gavin: Divination?

Gavin nods frankly, then suddenly chuckles.

Gavin: I initially wanted to say that I didn’t believe it. But I suddenly remembered that an Evolver who can predict the future is sitting right in front of me.

MC: ...that’s true?!

Realising this, I sink into a deep contemplation. Gavin reaches out to scratch the tip of my nose.

Gavin: I meant that as a joke. It’s impossible to meet a second Evolver with a precognition ability.

I glare at Gavin angrily. He shifts his gaze, looking at the manager who is currently talking to patrons.

Gavin: But she is an Evolver.

MC: Really? 

I turn my head to look. The manager is wearing a black apron, and she’s bending down as she patiently explains the divination symbol to a patron, her smile warm and amiable.

She exudes an aura which makes whatever she says very believable.

Just as my anticipation is hooked, Gavin stifles it with his words.

Gavin: But it definitely isn’t related to precognition.

MC: I see...

When Gavin sees that my anticipation has dampened, he pushes a blueberry cake in front of me.

Gavin: Don’t feel disappointed yet. Divination has never needed to rely on Evol. You’ll know if it’s accurate after giving it a try.

He digs a small piece of cake with a spoon, then brings it over to me. Munching on it, my eyes widen as I look at him.

MC: Incredibly! Delicious!

The cake exceeded my expectations. Thinking that the coffee might be pretty good too, I quickly lift the cup of coffee from the table.

In the meantime, Gavin picks up the explanatory card the manager had just brought over, and starts reading from it.

Gavin: It says that once you’ve finished drinking the coffee, you have to press the bell to call for the manager. The manager will obtain the divination results after observing the shape of the coffee sediments. 

Gavin: Before the divination, you could think of the contents of the divination first.

Gavin: If you have a ring or another token, you could prepare it beforehand. Place it at the bottom of the cup afterwards to increase the effectiveness.

After reading this, he rests his chin against his hand while chuckling softly.

Gavin: It’s almost the same as the tarot cards we tried the last time.

I take the explanatory card from him. Opening it up, I give it a sweeping glance.

MC: ...so it’s tasseography. I did research on it when we were playing with tarot cards the last time. Afterwards, I realised how complicated it is to interpret the divination results, so I gave up on learning it.

Finishing the rest of the coffee in one gulp, I press the copper bell at the corner of the table.

Upon hearing the bell, the manager looks up and shoots me a smile while washing a coffee cup. After wiping her hands, she walks over to us.

Manager: Are the both of you done with your coffee?

Seeing me nod in anticipation, she picks up the serving tray on the table, placing it next to the coffee cup.

Manager: May I know how I should address you?

MC: MC.

Manager: MC, lift the coffee cup and sway it gently while contemplating on your divination question. Once you’re done, place the cup upside down onto the tray.

I follow her instructions.

After a short while, she uncovers the cup, displaying the shape of the coffee sediments inside it.

Manager: Based on the results, you seem to have been going through a rough time lately, and your mood hasn’t been great. Is this correct?

MC: !!!

I immediately look at Gavin, thinking that this is far too accurate.

The manager seems to detect an affirmation from my expression. She sets down the coffee cup, then retrieves two wrapped chocolate cookies from her apron.

Manager: I made them this afternoon, and they’re for you. Based on the shape of the coffee sediments, although you might have experienced some rough moments recently, all the unhappy moments have already passed. Over the next few days, you’ll receive good news in succession, and you’ll be happier.

While saying this, she leans over, her slightly curled hair exuding a floral fragrance which refreshes the soul, causing me to be left in a mild daze.

Gavin suddenly speaks up.

Gavin: You’re using Evol.

The manager pauses in fright. For a moment, she’s at a loss, and has no choice but to bow slightly with her hands by her side.

Manager: I’m sorry, have I offended the both of you?

Seeing her frantic expression, I hurriedly shake my head.

MC: I-it’s fine... we don’t discriminate against Evolvers. And I’m sure you didn’t have malicious intentions.

The manager’s shoulders slump in resignation, admitting her “little magic” to us candidly.

Manager: ...I just wanted to send a flower into your memories.

MC: Send a flower?

Seeing that I didn’t understand what she meant, she explains patently.

Manager: Sorry, that’s a phrase I use in the shop.

Manager: Through tasseography, I can truly tell that you haven’t been in a good mood recently. But it’s very difficult to change your future fortune. 

Manager: In order to lift the spirits of patrons who do divinations, I use my Evol to alter their memories slightly.

Manager: However, my Evol has its limits. The only thing I can do is add something small that’s worthwhile of happiness into their unhappy memories, such as a flower. 

Manager: Are you willing to give it a try?

Considering how frank she is, I can’t find a reason to refuse. Furthermore, no incidents will occur with Gavin around.

MC: Mm...

The manager’s hand gently glides across me. Although I feel as though nothing happened, she signals that she’s done. Gavin stares at me curiously.

Gavin: Are there any changes to your memories?

I inexplicably recall the time when I fell off the bicycle, and images beginning from the moment I fell surface in my mind -

The path in front of me is tilted, and I can’t control my plummet towards my left side. 

These images are exactly the same as what actually happened, but in the very last snippet -

In an unremarkable corner of the crosswalk, a blue wild flower sways along with the breeze.

MC: A flower? There’s really a flower!

For some reason, seeing this flower enveloped in sunlight causes my emotions to become much more composed, reducing the annoyance I felt about the fall.

The manager releases a joyful sigh, then continues her soft explanation on why she does such things.

Manager: People often have a deep impression of negative things, while happy moments are fleeting. Unhappy memories linger much longer in memories.

Manager: So I thought - if I could add an element of happiness into the unhappy memories of patrons, such as a flower, or a ray of sunlight...

Manager: Their unhappy memories may become a little brighter. On a subconscious level, their mood would naturally become better.

Manager: With a good mood to lift them up, they’d focus on the positive aspect of things the next time they face something else. That’s why they’d find that their fortunes have truly turned for the better.

After saying this, the manager looks at the both of us before apologising again softly.

Manager: Even though I use Evol on patrons, I don’t have malicious intentions. Could you be magnanimous and not report me?

I toss a glance at Gavin, hoping that the Captain would close an eye this time.

After pondering for a moment, Gavin nods calmly at the manager.

Gavin: I won’t report you, but don’t use Evol on patrons in the future.

He looks at me from the side, then reaches out to grab a tissue before wiping it gently against the corner of my lips. Lowering my head, I spot blueberry coloured cream on the white tissue.

Gavin: I believe that your coffee and snacks are enough to bring patrons happiness.

The manager grabs my hand in relief, thanking me repeatedly.

Manager: Thank you both for liking my coffee and cakes. I’ll give another present to the both of you.

-

By the time we leave the café, it’s still early. Gavin and I aren’t in a hurry to go back. Holding hands, we take a stroll beneath the shade of trees.

We can’t help but bring up what happened in the café earlier.

MC: It turns out that it’s so simple to change one’s mood. Adding an element of happiness into unhappy memories is enough.

Surrounded by the chirping of cicadas, even Gavin’s voice reveals a refreshing and carefree touch of summer.

Seeing his slightly sweat-damped fringe sticking to his temples, I retrieve a tissue from my bag and wipe it for him.

Gavin: I remember that you once mentioned that the secret to maintaining a happy life is to focus on the positive side of things.

While saying this, Gavin takes the tissue in my hand and stores it into his own pocket.  

MC: Mm, that’s right! Actually, such forms of self comfort are pretty effective. 

MC: Even though I fell while riding a bike, I told myself that it was fortunate that it wasn’t anything more than a fall. 

MC: When the water supply was cut while I was showering, it only happened because I didn’t pay attention to the announcement by the property management... 

MC: I’d just learn from this experience and check the announcement board more often. 

MC: Also, the flights were delayed due to torrential rain. It was an objective reason, and nobody could have expected it.

MC: A lady from the airline company even gave me orange juice and a small gift.

Gavin chuckles leisurely, meeting my gaze from the corner of his eyes.

Gavin: Many things may not have happened according to how you wished over the short span of a week. Immersing yourself in the state of mind that everything wouldn’t go smoothly made you forget to look at the positive side of everything.

MC: Mm, but I can’t help it... Maintaining an optimistic outlook is really difficult. It’s inevitable to feel discouraged.

While saying this, I tighten my grip on his hand.

MC: But now, I know that if I face any unhappy moments in the future, I just have to search for a flower.

Gavin stops in his footsteps, lowering his eyes and giving me a smile.

Gavin: Have you thought of a new method to cheer yourself up?

I release a matter-of-fact “mm”. Pulling his collar, I give him a gentle peck on the chin.

MC: Whenever I face an unlucky incident, all I have to do is tell you immediately, and I’d immediately be comforted by you... 

MC: That way, I’d no longer be unhappy.

Gavin is taken aback momentarily. Then, he smiles faintly while looking at me.

MC: Whether it’s a fall or a delayed flight... The moment I share these things with you, the moodiness in my heart vanishes like smoke. The reason why I specially complained to you today was just to play coy.

I draw closer to him, swinging our interlaced hands.

MC: In the café earlier, I didn’t take the crystal bracelet she offered to change my fortune for the better... 

MC: I already have a bracelet which can bring me the greatest luck in the world.

I lower my head. Fragments of sunlight fall onto the ginkgo bracelet, refracting resplendent and exquisite faint light.

MC: This ginkgo leaf makes me happier than any other flower. No matter when, simply looking at it lifts my mood instantly.

Gavin doesn't release my hand. Instead, he pulls my hand to his back, bringing me into his arms gently.

The verdant trees and chirping of cicadas intertwine. The clean fragrance of shower gel from the side of his neck causes me to wrap my arms around him tightly.

Gavin: I knew that you were playing coy. Trivial matters have never influenced your mood. You’re always very good at comforting yourself and seeing the positive side of everything. But the bracelet alone isn’t enough. The next time you come looking for me, I’ll definitely do something that’d make you even happier.

After saying this, he can’t help but release a resigned chuckle.

Gavin: ...even though I haven’t thought of what I’d do.

I burst into a chuckle, then bury my head into his embrace completely.

Gavin: But there will definitely be things that I can do to add an element of happiness into your unhappy memories.

Dense green hues and shadows fall on his shoulders. Lifting my head, I see faint light riding the wind through crevices of large clouds in the faraway sky.

Leisurely and carefree ants pass by the slabstone road, winding around a fallen green leaf, and I can’t tell if they’re taking a stroll or scavenging for food.

Summer is flourishing, and this moment is incomparably tranquil.

My heart is filled to the brim with contentedness and happiness. Even my tone is relaxed and at ease.

MC: Gavin, you have to promise me one thing. If you’re unhappy about something in the future, you have to tell me about it immediately, okay? I can add many, many elements of happiness into your memories so that you wouldn’t even have half a second of unhappiness. I can guarantee that.

I lift my head to look at Gavin. With our close proximity, I can see his amber eyes reflecting large swathes of lush branches and leaves belonging exclusively to midsummer.

The gentleness flowing from these eyes aren’t stingy at all as they land on my face.

MC: We have to be the ever-fresh and blooming flowers in each of our memories, forever swaying in the wind.

Gavin releases a soft “okay”. He rests his chin on my shoulder, tightening his grip around my waist.

He murmurs at my ear.

Gavin: There’s no need for a guarantee. Your existence has always been the most brightly-coloured flower in my memories.

[ MOMENTS ]

Gavin’s Post: Different flavours of sodas seem to be really popular this summer.

MC: In order to clear the existing stock in the fridge, it’s time to have supper!

Gavin: Pick between mala crayfish and barbecue?

-

Gavin’s Post: Different flavours of sodas seem to be really popular this summer.

MC: Soda is always the best!

Gavin: Although that’s true, it’s best to drink fewer cold beverages.

-

Gavin’s Post: Different flavours of sodas seem to be really popular this summer.

MC: Pick between white peach and tangerine!

Gavin: I’ll pick the one you like less.

☕ Call: here

☕ Support the café (not the one mentioned in the date) by dropping by the tip jar!

[xsamsharons]

leaving out the side door - k. brekker

pairing: kaz brekker x royalty!reader.

genre/warning: slight angst.

words: 1.3k.

summary: every time he left the palace, he left out the side door, and every time he swore that’d be the last time. but it wasn’t, it never was. he knew he’d always come back to you, no matter how hard leaving you was. (loosely based on exile by taylor swift).

It was doomed from the start really, and Kaz knew this, but he liked to pretend he didn’t. He allowed himself to recover all of the hope the Barrel had knocked right out of him and decided he could allow himself to dream a little, even for just a few moments, even if just when it was only the two of you, even if he knew he was betting on losing horses. How many times had he made fun of people that came to him and held a hopeful glint in their eyes? How many times had he claimed he didn’t have the luxury of being hopeful? And now here he was, standing on the sidelines of a ridiculous ball held in a ridiculous palace full of ridiculous people, watching you. Him, nothing but a thief, a criminal, and you; a glistening diamond, surrounded by people of the same wealth as you.

He was sure you could feel his gaze on you, of course you could - you’d always been good at sensing him and predicting his every move. He doubted you could tell, however, that his stare wasn’t on you, but rather on the arms of someone else that hung around your body, embracing you as you swayed while you danced. His stare was on everything surrounding you, and how much you belonged here, how much you fit in with the luxury the palace granted you.

He knew it wasn’t true, you’d told him how every laugh was fabricated and how every party was miserable. You’d told him how attending these balls felt like seeing a film over and over again, knowing the ending because it always ended the same way, and still hoping things would be different this time around. However, seeing you thrive around these people, he felt like he was the film you watched over and over, hoping he won’t let you down, hoping he’d get out of his own way, hoping he’ll choose a different way of life - one that would allow him to be with you; and being disappointed each time the film ends in the same way it always did. Each time he’d get back to Ketterdam, leaving out the palace’s side door and leaving you asleep on your expensive bed.

You saw Kaz enter the room and immediately felt your world stop, just like it happened every time you saw him. He was dressed as a guard, Inej and Jesper both by his side dressed the same way. As you locked eyes, the hands that had been embracing you suddenly felt too heavy, they felt as if they were weighing you down and holding you in place, and you knew it was stupid to think, but it almost felt like a metaphor for the situation you and Kaz share. You felt trapped and caged down inside the palace walls, just as you felt trapped and restrained being inside the embrace of someone who wasn’t Kaz. The palace and its rules prohibited you from running away with Kaz, just as the arms of the person holding you did.

You’d seen Kaz angry before, which is why the look in his eyes shouldn't have surprised you as much as it did, but it was different this time. The cause of the anger in his eyes this time wasn’t because he couldn’t formulate a plan or because he’d allowed his vulnerable side to show, but because he had to watch someone else touch you the way he couldn’t - give you what he couldn’t. He was working on healing and dealing with his issues, and you’d always been nothing but patient with him; never rushing him, always supporting him, and he’d never even heard you complain about it. He had made progress, he could hold your hand for limited periods of time, and on good days he could lay beside you on your bed. However, he’d never be able to give you this, he’d never be able to embrace you through a dance and sway with you through a crowd, and you’d never be able to parade him around in front of your parents’ friends and family; that was the reason behind the anger in his eyes and the closed and clenched fists by his side. You’d always be royalty, he’d always be a thief.

He saw the way your lips moved as you announced you were retiring to your room for the night, and he didn't miss the glance you cast his way as you did so. He waited to follow you, and in the meantime told Inej and Jesper not to look for him, which caused both of them to share questioning glances, but Kaz had requested weirder things from them in the past anyway.

You saw Kaz enter your room out of the corner of your eye from your vanity mirror as you removed the jewelry you’d had to wear for the night. “You looked ready to knock him out back there.”

“Is that why you turned in for the night earlier than usual?” he asked, shutting the door behind him.

“Didn’t think you’d last much longer without getting your knuckles bloody for me.” you replied, finally looking at him and meeting his eyes through the mirror in front of you. “Maybe it would’ve been for the better.” you finished on a lower tone of voice, turning around in your chair to look at him fully now.

“It wouldn’t have, trust me.” he replied. Stern, sure of himself, which pissed you off.

“But maybe then we could finally stop hiding, sneaking around all the time, and actually be together.” you suggested, standing up and trying to get closer to him, before he let out a big sigh and looked at you straight in the eye - trying to get the message across.

“I’m not worth you risking your title, your relationship with your family and your whole lie.” he said firmly.

“I wouldn’t care about losing all this if i had you.”

You were walking towards him but he held a hand up, making you freeze in your place. The gesture was firm, commanding; but his eyes were pleading, as if being even in the same room as you was hurting him. “Please stop,” he whispered. You’d never heard him sound so… broken.

“Kaz-”

“You belong here and you deserve someone like that. I won’t break you out of here or help you escape because I can't watch you throw your whole life away for me,” he finished.

You took a deep breath, and tried keeping your tears at bay. You understood: you understood his rage and you shared his sadness and helplessness, but he still didn’t think he meant as much to you as you meant to him.

You ignored his previously raised hand and walked towards him nonetheless, cloth in your hand, and took his gloveless hand in yours. “Listen to me,” you began, “I can wait, and I will. I don’t need you to break me out of here today, tomorrow, or next week. There’s nothing holding me here and all my loyalties lie with you, and when you realize i mean that and i want to be free to be with you as much as you want me to be free to be with me, i’ll be here waiting.” you finished, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek, putting the piece of fabric you’d walked over with in between your skin.

He nodded and looked at you intensively, hoping his eyes were able to say everything he couldn’t out loud. You both pulled away when you heard one of your maids knocking on your door and calling for you.

“Coming!” you shouted over at her as you led Kaz to the side door that connected your room with one of the hallways less circulated by the people in the castle. You looked into each other’s eyes as you turned around to open your door.

You rested your hand on the door handle, but looked back at him one last time before actually opening it. “You’ll come back, right?” you asked him in a hushed tone.

“I’ll always come back for you.” he said.

And then he was gone. Leaving out the side door once again.

[silversatoru]

Hello! I wanted to request for a chubby reader x Levi oneshot. I feel like there aren’t many stories that have chubby readers ): As for the storyline, I’m not sure if it falls in the angst or hurt/comfort category. It would be the reader feeling insecure about themselves because they have a harder time training than the others (them blaming it on their own weight) and seeing how everyone is much thinner than them, they start avoiding food. To not make it look suspicious, they’d go into the kitchen alone and put the food away along with the left overs. The reader would act normal with Levi and he doesn’t suspect anything at first. Later on, the reader would push themselves harder to the point where they’d train on their own whenever they had to chance so they can lose weight and improve their training. At this point, Levi starts noticing the reader looking paler than usual and the slight difference in their weight. One day during training, the reader ends up fainting from exhaustion and dehydration. They wake up on Levis’s bed with him looking over them. He asks what happened and the reader lies by saying they didn’t drink enough water. Levi calls it bs and ask if they think he’s stupid and goes on to tell them about how they noticed the reader sneaking off into the kitchen with a plate and coming out without it. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but he started putting the pieces together. They end up telling Levi the truth, the way they feel towards themself and how they don’t like the fact that they’re bigger than Levi. He comforts the reader and lets them know that they’re an idiot for thinking that way, etc. Thank you! I’m so sorry if it sounds so cheesy!

hello dear!! i dont think your idea was cheesy at all, i love it actually. these kind of issues live very close to my heart, so writing about them is always really fun for me. that being said,, this fic definitely got very dark and very real, and i would advise everyone to read the warnings before deciding to read this <33

empty

levi ackerman x gn!reader

synopsis: levi catches you skipping meals and does what he can to help

tags/warnings: eating disorder, skipping meals, hurt/comfort, but it does have a happy ending! 

word count: 2.2k 

Throbbing headaches and hollow, gnawing pains in your stomach — they’ve quickly become your new normal. You see everything through a hazy fog these days, nothing feels real and everything hurts but it’s worth it — that’s what you keep saying to yourself. You’re tired of lacking the same agility, momentum, and grace that your thinner counterparts have. 

Your weight was always something that ate away at the back of your head, but joining the scout regiment multiplied it tenfold. You were constantly working twice as hard as your fellow scouts, and it seemed like it was never enough. Everyone around you was not only ridiculously athletic, but so fucking thin. You didn’t hate your comrades for their bodies and the way they were born, but you made up for it by inflicting all of the hate onto yourself.

You wonder if anyone notices your zombie eyes or the abnormal paleness to your face — god, you hope they don’t. The last thing you want to do is have to confront your feelings and admit what you’ve been doing lately. Every night you shamefully sneak back into the kitchen and pour your plate of food into the large pot of leftovers. You pick at food here and there when your friends are watching, but behind closed doors you haven’t eaten much of anything lately. Your body is running on empty, and it’s only a matter of time before it fully catches up to you. 

You hear your last name echo from across the training fields, slowly turning around to see an angry captain sulking towards you. His face was twisted into an unpleasant grimace, his eyebrows knitted together into what almost looked like concern. 

“I’m excusing you from the remainder of training, leave,” his words were flat, but there was a subtle emotional edge. 

“Sorry, what?” you gave him a confused look — Captain Levi never excused anyone from training, not unless they were practically on their deathbed. 

“Go home, and eat a big dinner tonight, your energy has been less than adequate lately,” his face softened slightly, “I expect you to be back to normal by tomorrow. Your skills and abilities are needed here, so go get some rest and be better tomorrow, yeah?”

“But, I-,” you stammered, trying to come up with some kind of valid excuse. 

“That’s an order, cadet”. 

His words surprised you, and before you could even rack your brain for an appropriate way to respond, he was turned on his heels and walking away. You swallowed thickly, your throat dry and stuffed full with anxiety. 

Reluctantly, you followed his orders and made your way back to the Scout’s base early. You grabbed a stack of fresh clothing from your room before heading to the showers and scrubbing yourself free of all the sweat and grime from training. You were careful to avoid mirrors when you navigated bathrooms, and tonight was no exception, your eyes glued to the tiled floor. After showering, you hesitantly walked to the kitchen, preparing a plate of food and bringing it back to your room.

That food stared you in the eyes for hours, taunting you and teasing you and making intense nausea creep up your spine.  Tears were stinging the backs of your eyes and your lungs were shaking with heavy, anxiety-filled breaths. You couldn't do it, and you were overwhelmed with shame and guilt. If you couldn’t do it for Levi, you were hopeless that you’d be able to do it for anyone, never mind for yourself. 

After making countless pitiful attempts to take a bite of your untouched meal, you decided it was going back into the leftover pot — just like everything else. The other scouts should have returned and been sleeping by now anyway, you’d just silently creep down the hallway, dump the food, and creep back, no harm no foul. 

Except for that a certain short, dark-haired captain was standing at the end of the hallway — you didn't notice him, but he certainly noticed you. A boiling anger rippled up inside him as he felt an overwhelming disappointment in your actions. He’d been suspecting this kind of behavior for a while now, but watching you tip-toe down the hall and into the kitchen with an uneaten plate of food confirmed all of his suspicions. 

You could barely crawl out of bed the next morning, your ribs aching and your head pounding with a dull pain. You grasped at your tall dresser, catching your balance as you dangerously swayed back and forth for a few seconds. After regaining consciousness and stability you carefully changed into your uniform, having to stop and take breaks every few seconds because you were running out of breath. Your body felt utterly devoid of any kind of energy, and you wondered — when was the last time I actually ate something? 

It was far enough back that you couldn’t quite remember, maybe a few days at this point, you really weren’t sure anymore. You’d have to suck it up for training though, because the last thing you wanted was to be confronted by the captain again. 

You chugged back a full glass of water before lacing up your boots and throwing on a convincing facade. People don’t seem to notice something is wrong as long as you're smiling, laughing, and going along with what they say — it’s easy enough to fly under the radar of your fellow scouts. 

Levi’s radar is a little sharper though, and he keeps a close eye on you from the second you walk up to the training grounds. He’s disappointed in your hand to hand combat — it’s sloppy, slow, predictable. Your hands look shaky too, and maybe it's the light playing tricks on him but it looks like the color is draining from your face. 

Things are feeling deplorable on your side — you can barely stand anymore, never mind throw punches or avoid the oncoming attacks. Your vision was starting to tunnel, foggy black surrounding your periphery as you began to lose feeling in your fingertips. You tried desperately to cling onto whatever semblance of consciousness you had left, but failed miserably, your body collapsing to the hard earth beneath you. 

The soft glow of warm candles illuminated the walls around you when you finally woke up from the earlier incident. This wasn’t your room, where the hell were you? You uncomfortably shifted to the side and flinched when you saw your captain sitting in a chair in front of you. His arms were crossed and one of his legs was propped on top of the other, an icey look in his eyes.

“What happened today?” His words were very short and his tone was flooded with irritation — he didn’t even give you a chance to take in your surroundings.

“Ah- I didn’t sleep well last night,” you lied, “And maybe I haven’t been drinking enough water or something”. 

“I’m offended that you think I would fall for such a pitiful lie,” He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “I saw you sneak into the kitchen last night, how long have you been doing that?” 

Your eyes grew wide with anxiety, your heart abruptly dropping to the floor — you made sure to go extra late last night, why the hell was he still up?

You stayed quiet for a moment, pondering over how honest you should be with Levi right now. The two of you had always been a little closer than he was with the other scouts, but unfortunately there was no room for things like love in this world. You also assumed that maybe he never reciprocated your feelings because of your weight — but that was just more toxic fuel to the fire blossoming in your head. 

“Pretty long,” you sighed, ultimately deciding to be fully honest with him, because knowing Levi, he’d continue to see right through your lies anyway. 

“I figured,” He grumbled, uncrossing his legs and leaning back into his chair, “Why?” 

“Everyone around me is thin, I stick out. And, I’m not as agile or flexible as the other scouts either. I just thought that maybe...,” you bit down hard on your bottom lip, rolling onto your back so you wouldn’t have to look at him, “I thought my weight bothered you too, and also that I’d be more useful to the scouts if I was skinnier”. 

“You think I’d like you better if you were dead?” Levi was leaning closer now, heat boiling in his eyes, “Because that’s where you’re headed right now. If you truly think you’ll be more helpful to the scouts when you’re six feet under, you’re delusional. And who the hell gave you the idea that your weight bothered me?”

His harsh words were cold slap in the face, your eyes burning and threatening to spill over with tears. You didn’t want to die, not really, you just didn’t want to hate yourself anymore. 

“No one! I don’t know, I just thought, maybe because I was bigger than you-,” You continued to stammer over your words, tears beginning to leak down your cheeks. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he waved you off, not wanting to push the issue further, “You’re wrong, and I’m hurt that you’d even think that. I’ve never once thought that you were anything other than the way you should be”.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was weak and shaky, but your heart was pounding against your chest at his words. 

“I’m not the person you should be apologizing to, that’s something you owe to yourself” he shook his head and stood up to retrieve two small bowls of food from a nearby table, “I brought you something to eat”.

You watched him intently, pondering over his words about apologizing to yourself.

“It’s only a bowl of soup, so you can start small, yeah?” He offered one of the bowls to you, which you hesitantly took into your hands as you sat up. 

He sat down again across from you again, leaning back and taking a sip of broth from his bowl. You were grateful that he was here, that he was eating with you — it made things a little easier. You grasped the spoon in your hands and scooped up some brothy vegetables before lifting them into your mouth. 

“Good, finish the bowl,” nodded at you, giving you a reassuring look and lifting his own bowl to his lips again. 

The two of you ate in silence until you were finished, and then he sat the bowls back on his nightstand before finding a seat next to you on his bed. 

“Stay here tonight,” he stared at you with his signature tired eyes, but there were hints of concern laced through them now, “We’ll have breakfast together in the morning”. 

“Okay,” you gave him a weak nod, trying desperately to bottle up your growing emotions, but they were becoming too much to bear. 

Small sobs began to rack through your body, your chest tightening and your stomach lurching with anxiety. You were experiencing so many feelings tonight — eating for the first time in days and being here with Levi, it was overwhelming to say the least. 

You could barely see the captain through your blurry vision, but you could feel his arms maneuver themselves around you and pull you against his chest. You stayed like that for a while, Levi’s arms delicately holding you in place while quiet sobs worked their way out of your lips. 

“You’ve dug yourself into a deep hole, I won’t lie to you,” you heard him let out a tired sigh, “And it’s gonna take time and effort for you to dig your way out, but you’ll get there. We’ll start by having breakfast and dinner together every night, how does that sound? Just you and me, no one else has to watch”. 

You nuzzled a tiny nod into his chest, your tears finally running dry. It was a terrifying thought, eating normal again, but you were starting to feel hopeful that you might actually be able to do it. 

And so the two of you met every morning and every evening for your scheduled meals, and day by day things began to get easier. You even found yourself staying over in Levi’s room after dinner and into the morning for breakfast sometimes. Spending so much time together was definitely pushing the two of you to address the feelings you’d been hiding for so long. 

But not everything was perfect, it would be irrational to think it would be. You still have bad nights, where eating is so hard you break down into tears, and where you want nothing more than to rid yourself of the food in your system. It’s a draining process, but Levi works hard to make sure you stay on track with your progress. 

It’s slow, but eventually your face starts to glow again, your skin gets smooth and soft, and the aching pains in your body start to fade. Your war with your body is far from over, but you’re doing what you can, and you’re healing yourself one day at a time.

thank u for reading this, and now i would like to give you a gentle reminder to do something nice for your body today. eating disorders and mental illnesses are huge mountains to climb over, but taking things one day at a time makes it a little easier. try and eat a meal today (even if it’s small), go to sleep early and get some rest, take a shower and rub lotion all over your legs so they feel nice against your blankets when you lay in bed. baby steps are better than no steps at all, so be patient with yourself. n go drink some water, ur body loves that shit

[the32ndbeat]

𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐣.𝐲𝐧 - [ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟛 ]

pairing: stalker!jaehyun x fem!reader ( ft twice’s tzuyu, loona’s haseul )

word count: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, alcohol consumption, mentions of sexual harassment, mature themes, mentions of drugs, smoking, extreme views, misogyny, yandere themes

a/n: unedited! it’s been forever since I updated this but also considering if I should turn this into a tbz series at my tbz writing blog so we’ll see how this goes.

taglist: I don’t have one yet and I’m seeing how this does since I’m thinking whether I should convert it into a tbz series. Please do lemme know if you guys want to see this continued!

disclaimer: everything written here is FICTIONAL and I am in no way saying that the mentioned characters act like that irl!

masterlist  

(inspired by netflix’s you and the book of the same name by caroline kepnes)

The first thing that registers in my mind is how fucking loud this place is. Seriously, what is it with college parties and their inherent need to blast music loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood within a five mile radius? Before I even step within the premises or even make it to the front yard, the whole fraternity house seemed to shake from the loudness of the bass-boosted music when viewed from a distance away. I even had to squint as I approach, the strings of fluorescent party lights draped all over the place glowing so brightly it almost hurt to look straight.

A few drunk college frat boys stumble past me, their hair sticky and messy with sweat and their breaths reeking of cheap alcohol. Their steps are wobbly and I can even see drool and remnants of vomit hanging at the corner of their mouths. My heart clenches with pure disgust and I grit my teeth as I watch them laugh out loud over nothing, their brains a pink, unintelligent mush in their skulls, probably rotted by endless drinking and fucking. All part of the college frat experience.

I wonder if they enjoy being a complete waste of space while wasting mummy and daddy’s money to put them through college.

I look away and ignore the growing irritation in me. This is the sort of party your friends wanted you to go with them to? I thought your friends were bad influences but scratch that, they’re fucking horrible. They taint you, taint your innocence and put you at risk around such dangerous men who do not deserve to be even a mile within your presence. As I walk closer, the house looks even more hideous up close.

It’s decorated in the worst way I’ve seen a house decorated. It’s as if someone threw a bunch of random fairy lights bought in the brightest, blinding neon colours that simply do not go together over a sloppy looking house and the front yard is littered with empty, red plastic cups and is that a discarded bra I see over there?

I tiptoe over the trash laying around on the grass and try to avoid the gyrating bodies of college students who clearly have no sense of rhythm. My skin feels grimy within just a few minutes of being here and I can’t wait to leave but there is no way I’m leaving when I know that you will be here. The thought of you being surrounded by such vermins makes me sick to the stomach and I want to get you out of here. The only place you should rightfully be, is at my place where there are no revolting men who only love to drink cheap alcohol, party till sunrise, get high off smoking a blunt, yell ‘turn up!’ every few minutes as if it’s muscle memory in their tiny, almost non-existent brains and do anything but be a productive member of society.

As I push through the double doors, the nauseating smell containing a mixture of intoxicating alcohol, smoke and cheap cologne almost knocks me backwards. My hand grips tighter to the wooden door and I force myself in. Inside, the house is dim but bright at the same time with disco and laser lights. A massive boombox and a pair of equally large loudspeakers sit at the corner of the room and some hip hop tune is being played while people dance and drink and smoke to their hearts’ delight. You’d never believe these kids were supposed to be the future.

Oh, how disappointed their parents must be.

A girl in skimpy shorts and a tube top looks at me with unadulterated want and beckoning in her eyes while staring at the varsity jacket I’m wearing, no doubt replaying fantasies of fucking a college athlete in her mind and trying to guess which sport I supposedly play. I gaze blankly at them before turning away and I can see her shift from the corner of my eye, obviously bothered by the lack of attention. It’s like I can almost see the gears whirring in her brain. Did she not show enough cleavage? Is more skin needed to get my attention? Sometimes people are so predictable and readable that it’s almost pathetic.

Other times, I might have lowered my standards and settled for a casual fuck with someone like that but not today. Today, I’m a man on a mission. A mission to look out for you.

My eyes scan the room but it’s too dim to see anything within four feet in any direction. The flashing lights threaten to overwhelm me along with the stink of the place and booming music and I can feel my annoyance evolving into anger. I repress the urge to slap the shit out of a guy in a red bandana who screams ‘turn up’ all of sudden, practically effectively bursting my eardrums.

I almost bump into a couple eating each other’s faces out when someone yells out at me.

“Hey, you!”

The music is so loud that I almost don’t hear it. I whip around and sure enough, it’s tube top girl making her way over to me. You have got to be fucking kidding me. Not only do I have to find and save you from this sleazy place and have to squeeze in with a crowd of sweaty, brainless college kids who know nothing but party in a tiny, dirty, smelly frat house but now I also have tube top girl hot on my heels?

The things I do for you, y/n and we haven’t even properly gotten to know each other yet.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Tube top girl smiles and up close, I can see that her mascara is smudged and her hair is slicked back with an unholy amount of gel into a tight little bun which only makes her face look wider and her forehead exposed with a sheen of sweat covering it. Her lipstick is reapplied and I know for a fact that she has done it to impress me. Her top is also inched a little lower, as if that makes her anymore appealing.

I smile in a dismissive way, in a way that showed that I cared, but not really.

“Hey,” I reply flippantly.

“Crazy party huh?” She grins, satisfied that she’s got my attention now. Women.

I let my eyes drift to her breasts and look back up at her expectant, puppy dog eyes that are so eager to please it’s actually embarrassing.

“Yeah.”

“What’s your name? I’m Meg.”

“I’m Jaehyun.”

“You part of any sports team in school?” And just like that I know that tube top girl must have had fantasies of fucking a college athlete.

So predictable.

“Yeah, I’m on the swim team.” I say and her smile widens, a playfulness in her eyes as she leans her chest in closer in what was meant to be a sexy gesture.

“Oh, is that so? I’ve never really talked to a competitive swimmer before,” she replies in a sultry voice and I smirk.

“Well, here I am. Am I every bit of the guy you imagined a college swimmer to be?” I whisper in an equally sultry voice. Let her think she has me wrapped around her finger. It’s easier that way. Better for her to think I’m enthralled with her and her breasts than let her cling onto me the entire night.

“Mhm,” she says, “of course.”

I’m about to reply when something catches my eye. From the window, I see you and your friends stumbling and swaying down the sidewalk, away from the party. Internally, I feel my rage simmering again but not at anyone. At myself.

How was I so late that I didn’t manage to stop this from happening? How are you already drunk? How did this happen?

A million questions are racing through my mind and my vision almost blurs with white hot anger as I imagine a slimy frat guy placing his greasy hands on you while you sit there, drunk and uninhibited in that dress that seemed to accentuate your every single curve. You look simply gorgeous in that dress and I fucking hate to think that other guys in this whole house may have made a pass at you. Why was I so late? Would I have been just a little bit earlier if tube top Meg didn’t stop me? I should have left the moment she decided to strike up conversation. This is my karma for letting other temptations get in the way. I vow to myself that this will never happen again as I extricate myself away from Meg’s clutches (“Hey! Where are you going?” She calls out and I ignore her).

I shove people out of the way and do not care for their protests and yelps. Fuck them and fuck this entire shithole of a house. I scramble through the door and maintain my distance as I follow you and your friends down the pavement and past the buildings within the campus. I watch and cringe as you seem to crumple under the weight of your friends’ arm and quickly realise that you aren’t drunk. Your friends are. Stupidly drunk.

I feel my heart relax and my stomach unclench. Of course, you wouldn’t be. You are good. And smart. Too smart to get drunk in a place like that. You know what are the risks and you are above such parties. Your friends though, I couldn’t say the same. Which brings me back to why you need better friends but that’s besides the point. I can see a few guys hanging at the other side of the street who leer at the group of you, clearly getting their dick hard at the thought of a group of vulnerable girls roaming these empty streets at night.

It’s dangerous. But that’s what I’m here for. They see me next and they look away.

I will do what I can to protect you, y/n. Even if that means protecting your good for nothing friends in the process.

All of a sudden, I see you trip and it’s like everything is in slow motion. You fall forward and I take long strides over, my legs stretching out and rushing to help you. Before your knees can hit the rough ground, I have you in my arms, encircled around your waist as I hold you up. I have your other friend, Haseul upright with my other hand tugging at the collar of her jacket. Your friend Tzuyu is not so fortunate and falls flat but she barely notices it, smiling tipsily to herself instead.

You glance up at me with those large eyes and I could get lost in them right there and then. But as quickly as we have our moment, you move away and I see a hint of suspicion in your eyes. We separate and the moment you extract yourself from my arms, I already want you back. Your touch feels addictive already. What have you done to me?

“Thanks.” You say curtly and I admire the fact that you have boundaries, not like Meg. You are hard to get and that’s what makes you so appealing. You are to be earned and respected.

You help Tzuyu to her feet and as you turn to leave with your friends, I call out, “is there any way I can help?”

You regard me with caution and open your mouth to reject me but then suddenly, the tenseness in your eyes relax.

“Do I know you?”

You remember me. Halle-fucking-lujah! I want to wrap you in my arms again but I play it cool.

“I… don’t…?”

Your eyes grow wide and the recognition seeps in.

“Wait! You’re from that hardware store right? Jaehyun?”

I pretend to be surprised when I’m actually fucking overjoyed.

“Yeah, wait… You’re that girl with the rope right?”

You laugh and it’s the most melodious thing I’ve ever heard in forever.

“Yup, that’s me. Kind of mortified that’s how you remember me but sure,” you say and your eyes twinkle but then you continue with a more subdued tone, “what are you doing here?”

I pat my chest good-naturedly.

“Friend of mine is a student here. I just came over to visit and he gave me his varsity jacket so I could try feeling like a college student for once. Never been to college so… yeah. I thought I’d like to try it out for fun.” I reply and shoot you an awkward smile, the kind you do when you try to get someone to favour you and think of you as ‘adorable’.

It works and you smile gently.

“That’s pretty cool, you’ve got a good friend.”

And you haven’t, I think but don’t say.

I gesture towards you and your friends.

“Need any help?”

You look at your drunken friends and back at me and I sense you thinking. Finally, you decide that you do need my help and chuckle, “We live right at that block over there and I think I might die halfway there. I’m not fit enough to hold 2 people.”

That’s so like you. So compassionate over friends who clearly didn’t give a shit that you didn’t want to go to some god forsaken party, so caring over friends who get drunk and don’t take responsibility, so helpful to take care of friends who literally do not give a fuck about you. You are not beautiful on the outside but on the inside too and as I loop Tzuyu’s arm over my neck and hold her, I wish I was holding you instead.

We amble over to the front of your block and we part, you thank me and we say our goodbyes and it’s all too soon. I want to be with you for longer, I want us to talk and I want you to invite me to your room but reality is often much less exciting and more boring.

“I’ll see you!” You call out, smiling as I walk away and I wave back, my heart soaring.

Today is a good day, I think and as I round the corner to the next street, I slip the keycard out of my pocket and feel the hard plastic under my finger.

Wasn’t difficult honestly. Your friends should really learn to keep their valuables in safe places, not the back pocket of their jeans.