#if you are not a professional novelist and you do not plan on being one for example you can JUST write. you don't need to write a novel

[softgrungeprophet]

You are allowed to do hobbies for fun! just fyi!

[mammalsofaction]

Imagine human!Perry getting hit with the molecular separator. Set during the events of 'Split Personality'

-That morning when Candace was wrestling with the separator and accidentally separates herself, the machine smashes into a rock and begins to malfunction. She doesn't notice, what with suddenly being two people with wildly contradicting priorities and all.

-But when Perry steps out into the backyard to head into his hideout, stepping onto the very same rock-a trigger for his lair, the machine descends down with him. Perry lands in his seat, but the machine activates upon impact to the floor and hits him with it before it sputters out and dies. Monogram is greeted with two distinct Perrys; Agent P, professional hardass and lone wolf dedicated in the pursuit of justice and fighting evil (specifically Doof); and Uncle Perry, a mellow headed novelist who sleeps a lot and really doesn't do much, but loves the kids with all his heart.

-If both men get caught in public and outs OWCA, it could decimate Perry's cover and invite all sort of legal and coverup catastrophes. Monogram demands Carl chase them and fix it.

-Instead of the Look-Away Inator, it's a Vanessa week and Doof has cooked up another harebrained scheme to take over the Tri State Area, but first! Buying parts at the mall with his daughter :3 Bonding time.

-So Agent P storms to the Mall to defeat Evil and Uncle Perry goes to the mall because all his kids (Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Vanessa) are there!

-Cue four part musical number with Romantic Candace, Busting Candace, Agent P and Uncle Perry while PnF and Carl are trying to chase Candace and Perry around the mall, while Linda and Doof remain perfectly oblivious.

-At one point Vanessa separates from her dad to go look at some new knee high goth stomping boots, and Agent P gets to her first. He gets all up in her face, interrogating her on her father and where he's going and what he's planning, and Vanessa-miffed-goes "What is going ON with you today" and Agent P is like "That's none of your business, Doofenshmirtz." Spitting out her last name like it's something disgusting. He's never referred to her like that before: Perry has ALWAYS made a point to separate her from her father, and emphasize that she was her own person. Agent P storms off and leaves her behind feeling hurt and confused and 40% sure that was NOT the Perry she knows and loves.

-Barely a moment after he leaves Uncle Perry stumbles inside the shop, looking winded and worried before he spots her and breathes this huge sigh of relief. He notes that Vanessa looks spooked, and Vanessa is making that math calculation meme look as Perry checks her up and looks her over until she convinces him that she's fine and she hadn't been hurt. She knows Perry was a softy on the inside, but she's getting whiplash from the sheer difference between him NOW and the him that just spit in her face 5 minutes ago. Not to mention they're dressed COMPLETELY different, and she's never seen him dressed like THIS before. An old battered denim jacket with old band patches over a slightly washed out ducky momo tshirt, khaki shorts and crocs. Hes wearing glasses, and his hair uncombed and unruly. If she was any measure as face blind as her father, they would be two completely different people despite the teal hair, and she wouldn't have recognised him at all.

-She's beginning to suspect they ARE different people. Sthg smells FISHY.

-She off handedly mentions that her father is making a SUPER evil contraption that could completely isolate her uncle. He's on his way home right now.

-Ducky Momo Perry just looks at her with this confused, slightly amused "ok, and?" Look like he's not sure what to do with this information, and just asks if she needs a ride home? If she can just wait until he collects the rest of his kids (he has kids?????) he can drop her off at her father's. They could even get slushy dog otw out maybe?

-She asks if he doesn't want to stop her father's evildoing maybe, and Perry's like no???? Im just a novelist, I dont do much. I dont go out busting evil, that's Other Me's job, and Vanessa's Something Is Off senses just goes BLARING like What Does He Mean.

-Perry checks something on his phone though, and notes with concern it is so LATE, and he needs to make Lunch, oh the kids must be starving he HAS to look for them, and takes off with a kiss to Vanessa's cheek requesting her to meet her at Slushy Dog so he can take her home.

-After he leaves, Vanessa walks out with her mind going A Mile A Minute and spots the Carl The Intern that Monty had once introduced her to. She waves him over, and he asks, nervously, if she had seen "Agent P" around. It's child's play to pressure him into telling her that Agent Perry the Platypus had accidentally been molecularly separated into individually embodying each side of his double life. One where he is known as Uncle Perry of the Flynn Fletcher household, and Secret Agent P the enactor of Justice.

-They had to put the two of them together, else OWCA could risk Perry's cover to be blown, and he would have to be relocated.

-She doesn't want this! She tells Carl that she had already told Agent P that her father had gone home to enact his Evil Plan so she's sure he's going to be at DEI, and she's going to persuade Uncle Perry to send her up. Carl will have to meet them there with the repaired separator and blast them back together.

-She finds Uncle Perry at Slushy Dog, talking to that blonde kid behind the counter that she's pretty sure is Candace Flynn's boyfriend and Perry introduces him as Jeremy Johnson, who had told him Phineas, Ferb and Candace had gone home with their mother. Jeremy seems to vaguely recognise her, at least. Perry introduces her as his "Partner's daughter, Vanessa." Which, okay, they are so pressed for time to unpack that right this second. The implications don't seem to miss Jeremy, either; he looks too stunned to speak. She doubts Jeremy had known Perry was dating anybody. Heck, she didn't know until right that second either. She is SOOOOO bringing this back up once Perry was back to normal.

-She tells Perry that her dad was making her favourite doonkelberry pie for lunch and he just called her and said Perry was invited so won't he please send her home? Perry blushes a little, most likely at the thought of her dad inviting him over to lunch, Jeremy looks arrested and wide eyed like he's piecing things together in his head and Vanessa is only a little bit sorry about the mess Normal Perry is going to have to come home to when he reports home to his mother.

-As Uncle Perry drives her home, Vanessa implicitly understands Carl and Monogram's concerns for the Agency's cover and OWCA's secrecy, because Uncle Perry has NO FILTER. She learns more about him in the half hour car ride (a battered Honda Accord) over than she ever has in the last 5 years she had known him. In a relaxed state, Perry talks in odd accent amalgam that he explains had been due to being raised in Australia, before moving to England with his sister when she married Lawrence, Ferb's dad. They were otherwise orphans who were integrated by OWCA at an incredibly young age, so the Fletchers became like family, and he had stayed even when his sister passed from an OWCA related incident (the one thing he seems hesitant to elaborate on) to help Lawrence Fletcher raise Ferb. He explains to her that prior to his nemesis-ship to her father, OWCA had demanded him work odd hours which weren't very kid friendly, which made him apply for a more stable schedule. Major Monogram got in contact and persuaded him to take up a nemesis-ship with his father in Danville, and when he moved, Lawrence and Ferb moved with him.

-Lawrence met Linda Flynn in Danville, who was a single mother of Candace and Phineas Flynn, and the rest was history.

-Vanessa had an inkling there was so much more lore she could uncover from that brief yet eye opening wealth of information, but she got distracted just learning more about Perry as a person and-apparently-how much more open he is about his adoration of her father without his concerns of professionalism as an OWCA agent. She knows he thinks her dad's cute, seems exasperated but fond and awed of his inventions, angry and sad about his childhood and past. Perry says he feels like he owes Heinz for so much, not least for getting to care about another brilliant kid, a point he emphasizes with a noogie to Vanessa's head. She feels all mushy and warm inside, but all too soon they have arrived at her father's penthouse doorstep, from which originated the sounds of cartoonish violence.

-Perry notes that her father must be busy, and Vanessa is abruptly reminded of her Mission. She reiterates her father's invitation to lunch, and practically drags Perry inside, praying that Carl had beat them there or was at least primed and aimed the Separator whatsit with a clear shot.

-Inside, Agent P is posed over her father, straddling his chest and he lies on his back on floor squirming and wriggling and noting that Perry the Platypus is being strangely intense today. Agent P is sporting a good few scrapes of his own, implying that her father had given as good as he got, but even with his scowl and a fist pulled back, it's a awkward configuration to catch her dad in. It's not even the first time it happens, but it's SO weird to see every time. Her dad never seems to notice the kind of picture it paints.

-Vanessa doesn't even need to do anything to shove the two halves of Perry together, because Uncle Perry had stormed forward with a beet red face pulling Agent P off of his Heinz, demanding to know what it is that he's doing. It seems to set them both like nothing else, because they are suddenly in a full blown fight with each other (Agent P accusing his other half that he was Consorting With The Enemy, and Uncle Perry hissing about he could've seriously hurt them Heinz and Vanessa BOTH, and this was why they never have any friends or nice things.)

-As Vanessa pulls her father away, she briefly worries that she had blown Perry's cover, until she notes that her dad's got two black eyes and muttering dizzily about seeing double. It's easy to coax him out to an adjacent room as she sees Carl the Intern sneaking inside the house through the still open front door with a machine that looks a like a camera. They give each other a thumbs up as the arguing increases to a fever pitch, one wrong word away before coming to blows, and Carl fires up the reverse of the Separator.

-The abrupt silence throughout the penthouse makes Vanessa's ears ring, but seeing only one dazed figure in the middle of the lab is such a wonderful relief. She watches him take note of his surroundings, a thoroughly defeated Heinz Doofenshmirtz and a thwarted Inator before reaching his own conclusions, and practically overlooks Carl, who takes the opportunity to slink back out the apartment with a visible echoed sigh of relief.

-Vanessa watches as he darts over first to her wrecked and injured dad, hissing as he carefully assesses the injuries and bruises he had inflicted on the man himself that reminds her of the way his Uncle Perry Aspect had looked over HER in the mall-the visible care and concern Agent P disavows himself of. He's avoiding her gaze, and Vanessa figures out that he's embarrassed.

-She doesn't get the opportunity to say anything though, bc her dad comes to somewhat and realizes that Perry is by his side. Despite his wounds being inflicted Perry himself, he seems to tell that Perry's worried anyway, and requests that the agent carry him to his room to take a nap. Vanessa feels a little like she's interrupting, seeing the gentle way her dad takes Perry's hand, the softness in Perry's expression, the easy acquiescence as he heaves her father up in a bridal carry. Her dad is still mumbling nonsense, she hopes Perry will look him over for a concussion, but Perry catches her eye to nonverbally indicate-importantly-that they need to have a talk.

[arcticdementor]

Mrs Secret Author, who knows her onions, recently drew her husband’s attention to a Facebook post that, or so she claimed, simultaneously epitomised all that was best and all that was worst about the modern literary marketplace. In it a woman — thankfully unknown to us — had decided to file her new year’s resolutions. One of them was to write “a Romance novel”. Clearly this was going to take a bit of time, but the aspiring novelist was confident that if she started now it would be possible to plan for a pre-Christmas launch. All this, it turned out, had gone down a storm with the poster’s friends. To a man — well, actually to a woman — they rushed to assure her what a terrific idea it was. Several of them confided that they, too, had always wanted to write “Romance novels” and it was great that at least one of their number was about to get on with it. And who was lined up to publish the darling work? Naturally, in this age of limitless technological horizons and level playing fields, the author was going to publish it herself.

…

And all this ignores the amusement of professionals working in other art forms. After all, does anyone ever publicly state that they hope to become a painter and that their first exhibition is booked for six months’ time? But literature, you see, is different. Unlike painting, or musical composition, or ballet, it is about the only branch of the arts in which the neophyte can make some sort of a showing without seriously embarrassing themselves. Most educated people can string a couple of readable paragraphs together; equally, most of us could, if pressed, come up with a plotline capable of sustaining the average thriller. One of the Secret Author’s earliest jobs involved reading manuscripts for a literary agent. Almost all the aspiring talents involved could produce a convincing narrative. Where they fell short was in being able to produce plausible dialogue.

…

Not long ago the Secret Author was approached by a lawyer of his acquaintance. Our man was writing a crime novel and wanted to know what a professional thought of it. The manuscript turned out to be a cut above the average — well-written, with a serviceable plot, a well-realised sense of place and some salty dialogue.  The verdict was: not bad, but could do even better; and the advice was: take some time over this, think hard about what you could do to improve it, and send it to an agent to see what they think. Did the author do this? No, he went for instant gratification, published it on Amazon and saw it sink without trace, whereas had he taken pains over it, rewritten it and sought professional advice, it might just — although one never knows — have made it onto a commercial publisher’s list.  Which takes us back to the Facebook-poster and her “Romance novel”. For what really irks is not the idea that you can take up a new career with the same facility that you can insure your labrador, but the assumption that writing is easy.  As Brian Howard, the part-model for Brideshead Revisited’s Anthony Blanche is supposed to have said when he saw his first Surrealist painting: “My dear, all they are trying to do is paint without any effort, and we all know where that leads.” We do. It leads to Facebook posts and Amazon listings.

[chaoticgeminate]

Kinktober 2022 - Day Three

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x f!Reader

Rating: Explicit (If that was not entirely clear)

Series Summary: You’re a fanfiction writer turned novelist, which was great since it was the path you wanted your writing to take you down in life. What you never thought would happen was meeting the Javier Gutierrez, who you actively write smutty fanfiction about from his film with Nic Cage, and you especially didn’t expect him to have a crush on you.

Fast forward several months of dating, with a good chunk of your relationship being distance due to his constant traveling and having to go home to Mallorca, when he surprises you with a prompt list and a vacation planned around exploring it.

You haven’t even worked up the nerve to tell him about what you write and post to Tumblr about him as a character yet.

Notes: Going to be using prompts from @ the-purity-pen for my meta as hell indulgence! There are feelings in this (I have no idea how they got there) and I may end up removing some possible chapters here and there depending on how I’m feeling, I apologize in advance if that happens because my brain is super mean sometimes.

Possible Warnings: Semi-public teasing, Javi with leather gloves, emotional vulnerability, very low on the smut and heavy on the softness

Glove Kink (2.5k)

“Most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?”

“Forget to change my Wi-Fi password before Nic Cage arrived, and you?”

Waking up was slow now that you had no obligations to go anywhere or do anything, you could lounge in bed with Javi for as long as you wanted, so the pair of you had agreed to pass the time doing one of those dumb “questions new partners should ask one another” things you’d seen rotating on your Tumblr feed.

“Writing a smut scene in public.” Even now the horrified look on the old woman’s face that had been sitting beside you at the coffee shop was just as clear in your mind as the day it happened, she had invaded your privacy by leaning over to read what you were writing while you’d gone to get your order from the pick-up counter, it was both funny and mortifying.

Javi was holding one of your hands in his, the one under your head, while his free hand traced swirling patterns on your hip. He was only wearing briefs, just like you were only wearing underwear, and he’d mentioned wanting to take you on a drive today whenever it was the pair of you decided to get up.

Your eyes drifted to the printed prompt list on your bedside table with two crossed out spaces, trying not to laugh since it was still a hard thing to believe. You really did feel like you’d walked right into one of your own fanfictions, especially with this lavish vacation, and while it was fun to experience it there was a small part of you that worried he’d find something about you he didn’t like.

That maybe something you were into was too much for him, or something he liked would squick you out, and it was scary because of how much you adored this man.

“None of your books have adult content in them, Solecita, I’ve read them all.”

“Yet, Javi, none have adult content yet. When you came over to invite me for our month long sexcation I was working on an adult scene.”

He hummed behind you and kissed the back of your shoulder, looking over the list printed on your phone screen.

“A day you will never forget?” That was a question you mulled over, for a moment, since there were many. So many that related to just your history in writing alone. The day you were able to quit working to become a writer full time? The day you posted the last chapter on your -to this day- longest and most popular fanfiction? When you first announced you were planning to pursue professional writing on Tumblr and all your mutuals had rallied behind you? Your first review ever?

But there were others, personal ones too, like the day you met your Tumblr wife for the first time. Maybe the day you and Javi even met, that writing workshop forever seared into your memory, or even the day you got your own place at long last? It was a big ask to single one day out of so many but you did have one that you could put above the others.

“The first time I saw you on a talk show interview, how you were so earnest and timid and sweet despite the life you’d known growing up, I remember being so heartbroken for you that your own cousin would be so cruel but so proud that you worked with the Spanish and US military to end everything.” His hand stilled but Javi ran his nose along the curve of your shoulder and smiled into your skin, you didn’t need to see him to know he was flushed and his eyes would be misty. You captured his hand on your hip and pulled him around you, the hug firm and you knew that was what he needed most.

Affirmation that he was in fact a good man.

“Yours?”

“The day I first saw you, it was a book signing at your local book store. I was in town for a meeting and looking for a book on English grammar, this was before I even met Nic Cage, and seeing you was magic. So lively, so free, just talking and greeting everyone who came up to your table so kindly and talking with them about your books. I was too late to join the line but that was when I bought my copies, with a promise made that I would bring them to another book signing. Naturally that was when everything became so busy.” It explained so much about how worn, but well loved, his copies were; how the fates had shoved you together before the two of you knew it.

When the fuck did your life become every fanfic trope?

Not that you were complaining, far from it.

“That was my only book signing so far, it was really overwhelming so I needed to make sure I could handle more and I just haven’t… worked up the nerve. I keep panicking because what happens if I wake up on the day of the signing but my anxiety causes all executive functions to halt? What if it turns out to be a day where I’m hyperaware of everything I see as a flaw in myself, or I’m having a sensory overload issue that day? It’s just hard.” Admitting that out loud made you feel silly, this was a man who met with some of the most influential people in film and business and you were struggling with meeting a small number of fans.

Javi hugged you even tighter.

“It is very hard and that is okay, you don’t have to do book signings at all if you decide not to, it is not a bad thing or disservice to people who enjoy your work to put your mental and emotional health above things like public appearances and meet ups.” His reassurances made you smile and the pair of you laid there in a comfortable silence for a little bit after that, just relaxing at having each other here.

But eventually you did have to get up.

“What are those?” Your voice hitched in volume and pitch unintentionally at the sight of Javi in the driver’s seat of his convertible, what had captured your focus was the brown leather gloves he was wearing with his tweed slacks and white button down; he’d told you to dress semi-formally so you’d put on one of the dresses that you’d brought along -which the staff had taken to get rid of any wrinkles- since you knew it looked good on you.

Javi’s eyes were bright with mirth and desire and he looked you up and down, following your gaze to his hands, and a devious look took over his face as he grinned in a way that shot heat all the way to your core.

“Today? Just driving gloves. Tomorrow, however, these will be a beautiful necklace.” Heat slithered down your spine and your ragged intake of breath made Javi’s devilish expression darken further, if that was even possible, and he patted the seat beside him playfully. Your legs were shaky as you got into the car and the teasing made you bold, wanting to throw him off just as badly as he had you, so when he pulled out of the gated entrance you took his right hand and slipped it up your skirt gently.

You didn’t want to wrinkle the fabric, after all.

“To think I expected you to come out of this experience the most flustered. Instead, you’ve got me soaking my underwear on the way to wherever we’re going.” Javi’s eyes stayed on the road, mindful of the risk, but when the pair of you hit a stretch of empty road with no houses on either side his hand rose up to slip beneath the cotton lace and he groaned low and long at the slick feeling against two of his gloved fingertips.

The leather dampened the sensation for him, sure, but not for you. It was hard to stop yourself from making it obvious where Javi’s hand was but he pulled back and brought the moist leather to your mouth instead and since the road was still very empty you made sure it was a show that he was missing.

Javi grunted in warning when you teased your tongue around each digit before drawing it into your mouth, sucking slow and long, and he hooked your chin in his hand when you let go of his wrist. The force of the motion made you wetter than before, you were used to Javi being more service top than straight up big dick top energy.

“We’re eating brunch at the Ritz, Solecita, but after that I wonder how long it would take for you to ruin these gloves.” The promise made you tingle all the way down to your toes and part of you wondered if you could get away with making him hot and bothered over the course of your meal until his grip on your chin tightened, he’d glanced away from the road to look at you for only a moment and must’ve read the look on your face.

“I need you to behave during brunch, por favor, we will not be dining alone. A business associate of mine, Ramón Velazquez, was on the island on a vacation with his wife and when he found out I flew down and had not reached out to him he took it as a slight. I apologize but I used you as an excuse as to why I had not done so, he now wishes to meet you.” All your playful energy melted away and was quickly replaced with immediate worry, it hadn’t even crossed your mind that while you were here he might take you somewhere where you’d run into people from his social circle.

Part of your worry had always been the way people might see the two of you; this gorgeous and funny and charming man beloved by all for his heroics and his film, and a not close to famous author who lived in a small apartment and was practically married to writing and lurking on Tumblr. You were a nobody compared to Javi and while you knew that was okay, you knew he’d picked you and the opinions of others didn’t matter, there was still always going to be that worry of presenting yourself as someone worthy of his affections.

“Solecita, I can practically hear you thinking negatively of yourself. Relax and please trust me? I would not put you in a situation where anyone would be rude or snide to you, I promise.”

“Is that why you haven’t invited me to Mallorca?”

Your voice was small and a little pathetic but you had to know; most of the pictures of the parties at his home were opulent and everyone was dripping with diamonds and jewels, wearing designer clothes and drinking the most expensive of drinks. Javi let go of your chin to take your hand instead, now that you were approaching where there were more homes and storefronts on either side of the road.

“I have not yet invited you to Mallorca because every time I take you anywhere that isn’t within your usual budget you seem miserable; my home is a showcase of the wealth of my family and I did not want to scare you away or make you feel as though I were flaunting the differences in our income.” His confession was just as soft as your insecure ask, the fact that he was so quick to recognize when you were feeling vulnerable was another reminder that he was nothing like anyone you’d been with in the past.

There was always some level of miscommunication, some wrong move that would lead to an inevitable fight, but not with him.

Which was both fucking terrifying and a big fucking relief.

Javi handed the keys to the valet after you arrived at the Ritz -his gloves removed and put into the glove box- and you followed him into the upscale building, half expecting your boyfriend to walk up to any of the suit-clad men, but instead he meandered to a portly man with tortoise shell wayfinders that were broken and held together with tape in the center and a beautiful woman wearing a dress you recognized from Torrid.

“Ramón, mi amigo, forgive me.”

The two men hugged each other tightly and you looked at Ramón’s wife as she smiled at you and took your hand when you offered it.

“Hello, I am Eleana, it is nice to meet you. I know you probably get this often but would it be possible to have you sign my copies of your books? I have them in our room back in the Sunshine Suites just on the next block.” It struck you then that Ramón and Eleana weren’t as wealthy as you believed, not that you had looked up the prices of resorts and hotels on the Cayman Islands before you got here.

That was a lie.

You had.

For research purposes, of course.

 All you could do was nod and feel a little surprised that she even knew of you outside of your relationship with Javi.

“Absolutely, I appreciate that you read them.”

“My sister Nina was the one to tell me about your series, she and I love them, we bought the entire trilogy. Oh, she will be so jealous that my copies are signed and hers are not. We know you’re working on a new series and we’re so excited.” You felt warm in the face as Eleana gushed about your books, talking about your writing style and how everything flowed but in a way that felt natural, and she even mentioned areas where you’d thrown weak little patches over plot holes because you didn’t have a real fix without reworking nearly the entire series.

One of the only things that you struggled with about converting your work from fanfiction to an original work, really, was working in the constraints of what you’d already written.

You held up a hand to stop Eleana before tugging on Javi’s elbow gently, earning his attention and distracting him from his conversation.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, is there a bookstore nearby? Eleana asked me to sign her copies of my books and then mentioned her sister getting jealous, I’d like to send Nina signed copies.” Javi’s eyes twinkled as he placed a call to Cézar since the housekeeper was local, it was a quick conversation and you could feel the way Eleana’s eyes were definitely on you the entire time.

“Cézar will have the books delivered to the Sunshine Suites front desk by the time we finish brunch, I have enough room in the convertible for the two of you to ride with us since I suspect we will all be full up from the meal.” Ramón let out a hearty laugh and Eleana captured your hands with a bright smile, thanking you profusely.

Javi hugged you from behind and kissed your cheek as you finally introduced yourself to his friend, a set lighting specialist rather than an executive or actor or something, and the gentle reminder that Javi could -and did- have people outside the ‘wealth’ class as friends was beginning to set in at last.

All Fics Taglist: @hardc0rehaylz @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @musings-of-a-rose @amneris21 @trickstersp8 @practicalghost @rominaszh @alwaysdjarin @alexxavicry

Just Pedro Taglist: @maievdenoir @beecastle @littlemisspascal @writeforfandoms @AynsleyWalker @lovesbiggerthanpride @mswarriorbabe80

Alt Taglist: @imtryingmybeskar @fan-of-encouragement @grogusmum @sizzlingcloudmentality @deadhumourist @prostitute-robot-from-the-future

Kinktober Only: @nicolethered @katareyoudrilling

[themascarasnakeuniverse]

Being a “writer.”

Since I was in my early teens I have wanted to be a writer. I just liked the idea of it. I was under the impression that they where rich, people listened to them and they could just sit in a bookshelf lined study and work alone, unhindered and in their own time. I can pinpoint when the desire began. I was experiencing what I know understand to be psychological bullying at school. I talked about my interests and what I was “obsessed” with a lot. At that time it was certain TV shows. My fellow pupils began to tease me about spending too much time in front of the good old idiot box. Anything was an excuse to mention it. If I had not attained a good enough mark at a certain piece of work it was because I was too busy watching TV and did not study. If I could not catch them when we played “tick” (tag or tig depending on what part of the world you live) it was because I spent too much time sat in front of the telly and was unfit. If I had not watched TV on a certain I would make sure to mention it the day after, most of the time I was ignored. The teasing continued when it suited them. One of my peers had a shelf full of videos that where unsuitable for a boy his age but that did not stop him asserting I consumed too much media.

This affected me more than it should and I internalised the opinion that I was overly inclined to spend time in front of a screen. I went to the library with the intention of withdrawing an adult book. Something I could read instead of turning on the TV of an evening. As I did not know anything about books or authors I was at a loss as to what to get. Had I asked for help the librarian would have directed me towards the age appropriate books. I did not want that. I spent a good while looking blankly art the shelves. Then I saw them. The books of Stephen King. I knew the name. I knew his books contained swearing. I knew I was not allowed to watch movies based on his work. But my parents could not stop me getting a book from the library. I chose “It” because that was the bulkiest tome available with his name on it. “I could miss a LOT of TV because of this book” I thought as I handed it to the librarian. Part of me was expecting her to stop me taking it home. But that did not happen. I put it in the bag I had with me and rode home on my Raleigh Flyer with the buckled wheel.

It took me a good three months to finish “It” and I can remember little of it now. That and many other books by the esteemed Mr King are on my to read and re-read list. As I worked my way through the adventures of “the losers club” from Derry, Maine I began to form an opinion. Stephen King was rich, if I got that rich I’d never have too see my tormentors again. I bet nobody got on Mr Kings case for watching too much TV. I though that if I became a successful novelist I could do what I wanted and everything else would fall in to place. Also, people listened to and respected someone who had written a book.

Perhaps I should have pursued English when I went to college. But I had to resit GCSEs in order to progress to A-Levels. I did not have to resit English Language or English Literature. By the time I had completed these resits I had decided not to go for A-Levels and chose a vocational cause for the next two years. Perhaps had I studied English at A-Level things may have taken a different path. I abandoned my plan to write professionally in every way except in my dreams and daydreams.

As I sit here as a cynical adult I have a very different outlook. I still love the idea of being a solitary writer, having a study and closing the door on the world whilst I compose a masterpiece. However I am aware that writers have to do things like promotion and book tours. They have to please an editor. They have to write what is popular and likely to sell. I am also aware that many fantastic writers produce amazing books for small presses and still have to keep a day job whilst Dan Brown can write utter bollocks and the money flows in because tomes sell to millions of idiots who would not know a good book if it kicked them between the legs.

I have also learned that writing is not easy. It takes time and mental energy and rejection is heartbreaking. Yet I cannot give up the romantic notion that writing would bean ideal life and would make me happy. Many writers tell me that poor mental health is almost guaranteed. And I still hang onto the belief that it would be an ideal career for me. And I still look at creative writing textbooks on the shelves of the library and thing “I should get those, shut myself off and work my way through them.” I never do.

As I sit here in a cafe in my home city that was a famous haunt for actors, writers, musicians and creatives around forty odd years ago I realise my ideas are at best misplaced. I do NOT need a retreat. I need to shit or get off the pot. I need to get on with it. More resources are available to me than where to that thirteen year old with bad friends who took things to heart. I can pirate textbooks. I can look at YouTube videos about famous writers and take advice from a million other enthusiastic amateurs. I have just had to look up a correct spelling on Google. That was not available to me when I held that copy of “It” in my teenaged hands and thought “I will do this myself one day.”

[mylittlesyn]

Miniseries:

These works are posted on tumblr and AO3. They’re around or less than 10 chapters. Also organized by fandom.

Yuuji and the Tutor: Masterpost

You're a graduate student who tutors other students for a little extra money. Your student, Yuuji Itadori, constantly makes passes at you and as a professional you ignore them. Until one day... He looks a little too irresistible and you find out about the Demon hidden within him after rewarding him.

Tarot Toji: Part one

While being forced into an arranged marriage with Toji as part of a unification of clans, you learn that your soon to be husband actually has plans to escape and run away. When he tells you his plan, he asks if you want to come with him... So you do.

Reconciliation: Master post

How do you confess to Father Sukuna that you're having lustful thoughts... About them?

Night Out: MasterPost

Yuuji and you are both happily married with a two year old son and another on the way. Just because you're both married with kids doesn't mean you can't enjoy a Night Out, even one that's a little more taboo... Perhaps involving his older brother Sukuna.

The Kindergarten Teacher: MasterPost

You're an erotic fiction novelist and single mother to Megumi... Mostly single mother with absentee father Toji finally trying to fight for you. Only thing is, you've laid your eyes now on your son's young hot teacher, Yuuji Itadori.

The Other Woman: MasterPost

This is a series of oneshots across various fandoms that all share the same concept: You are the other woman.

TigerPrince: MasterPost

Yuuji and you were both once rebellious angry teens in one of Tokyo's many bosozoku gangs. You have since opened a bike shop where you help other young bosozoku girls choose their bike and help repair them. As a passion project, you're rebuilding a bike and scouring for a part that just so happens to be sold by someone with the username: TigerPrince.

One Shots

Cookies and Milk with a Yandere:

You reconnect with your childhood friend Itadori Yuji as both of you are home for the holidays. Only these aren’t so happy holidays, and the hallmark movie is a little darker than may appear.

CW: yandere, drugging, noncon, violence (to people other than reader or Yuji)

Fame at the Price of a Fortune:

You were a semi-successful actress who was dating someone who turned out to be a married man. The wife found out and you were blacklisted. Desperate times call for desperate measure, and you find yourself calling upon a demon named Toji to try to get your chance at fame, but it seems it might cost you a fortune.

CW: Dubcon, noncon creampie, squirting, literal demon fucking, belly bulge, cervix fucking, pussyjob

Nanami and the Baker: *contains manga spoilers*

You work at a bakery and everyday for lunch a tall blond man comes to buy the same exact sandwich.

Nanami's Secret Wife v1: *contains manga spoilers*

Nanami likes to keep his home life and work life separate, so of course his best friend Gojo knows nothing about him having a secret wife.

Nanami's Secret Wife v2: *contains manga spoilers*

Nanami likes to keep his home life and work life separate, so of course his best friend Gojo knows nothing about him having a secret wife. This version is much much fluffier than the one above.

Alabama Nanami:

Southern gentleman Nanami might not be as much of a southern gentleman as we thought when he finds you injured in the woods while out on his white horse.

CW: yandere, noncon, virginity loss, corruption, heavy manipulation

Head canons, Imagines, Drabbles:

Requests:

Gojo and the Librarian:

Can you please write something with Gojo trying to pick up someone at the library or maybe the librarian?

Desert Rose:

could write imagine with the music lolo zuaï desert rose with Nanami x reader fem.pleases

Virgin Yuuji:

What- what if little virgin!Yuuji just get so excited when you finally touch him that he creams his pants ;-;

My Patience is Unruly:

how daddy!toji would react/punishment reader if he found out that she opened one or more of her Christmas gifts early after telling her no numerous times.. probably even getting caught in the act

Welcome Home:

do you think you could write a Gojo, Sukuna, or Toji X fem reader that talks in her sleep like incoherent dirty talk or shit talking?

[script-nef]

How their relationship gets revealed (iii)

Characters: Akaashi, Oikawa, Sakusa, Tsukishima, Ushijima

Category: fluff

Akaashi Keiji

You’re a best-selling novelist and incredibly famous

Akaashi has been your editor for 3 years now

He’s such a hardworking and dedicated worker

You buy him a lot of presents and he does as well

Constant uploads onto social media with new gifts and meals together

Which happens a lot because you need constant feedback and reviews

And so your readers kind of ship you with him

Lightly, like “Y’all are cute together” and “I wish I have this kind of support”

They don’t actually think you’re together and also don’t want to force it on you

But little do they know that you’ve been dating for over a year now

Because Akaashi is:

1. Kind and caring 

2. Really hot/pretty 

3. The gentlest person you’ve ever met and 

4. Is incredibly professional and can separate work from personal feelings 

5. Just look at him

He confessed his feelings for you after your last book sold over a million copies

Because he was drunk after the celebration

But you also liked him and a new relationship was born

Mainly kept on the down low because it’s just easier

You and him both have meddling people around you

But feelings grew day by day

And you desperately want everyone to know your boyfriend is such a wonderful and amazing partner like scream it from the top of your lungs

And so a new book was made

In the dedications page, you wrote “To my other half, thank you for taking care and loving me”

Reader are surprised at the relationship update

But are super happy for you even though they don’t know who it is

The book is a really sweet and cute novel

Readers think it sounds kind of familiar for some reason…

And at the end of the book, it says “To Akaashi Keiji”

(Turns out it was loosely based on yours and his relationship)

The reading community is flipped and your book reaches bestsellers in record time

Oikawa Tooru

Oikawa comes to Japan for a match against the Schweiden Adlers

His return was met with thousands of fans and plenty of photographers and reporters

Every one of his fans were saying how much they love him and hope he wins

And tons of gifts are given left and right

He gives his ever-so charming smile and gracefully accepts them

An interviewer asks him what he missed most in Japan

He rattles off a list

“My family, my friends—Iwa-chan isn’t here though—Japanese food. There’s this wonderful ramen place in my hometown! I also have to see Mattsun and…”

The reporter smiles and nods to his replies

His fans are screaming how they’ll buy anything he wants in the background

He thanks them but that just makes them scream louder

Then his face goes soft, like he’s remembering a really happy thing

“...but I missed [Name]-chan the most.”

The reporter’s eyes widens along with all his fan’s

Even hardcore, and I mean hardcore, fans didn’t know about this

“They’ve been supporting me so much and it’s been ages since my last visit… I just want to see and hug them.”

His small smile is so full of love and affection, even a blind person could see he’s in love

They had zero idea he was in a committed relationship

Most of his fans scream that they hope he has a good relationship

(He ignores the ones that are shrieking“No!”)

Photos of you with him are uploaded after he wins against Schweiden Adlers 

He’s smiling like the sun in every single one of them

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Sakusa hates interviews and reporters

Because they keep sticking microphones, which is covered with theirs and everyone else’s germs, into his face

And expect him to be polite when he’s so uncomfortable

So he has a reputation for being a little (read: extremely) difficult for post-match interviews

Nearly everyone had given up

And then all of a sudden, he’s actually civilised in interviews

Like, answering questions and even smiling a little

Everyone’s thinking 

“Is he okay?” 

“What’s happening?” 

“Oh god he’s finally lost it after being in a team with 3 crackheads #PrayForSakusa2020”

In reality, it’s because you’re the one interviewing him

He doesn't want to do it for anyone else, but you insisted that he has to

And now he responds to other reporters as well (albeit incredibly unwillingly)

But he only smiles for you

Fans start noticing after 3 – 4 interviews

“Is it me or is Sakusa really nice when that reporter asks him” 

“No I noticed as well” 

“DOES HE LIKE THEM ASDISJDW IS MY BOY IN LOVE” 

“WHY IS EVERYONE DATING OR IN LOVE WHEN I’M SO ALONE”

After a match, you finish a live report which people can chat on (just say there is one)

It’s in a sheltered place so currently not a lot of people are around

And he doesn't walk away, just keeps standing there

He thinks the camera is off now, and so do you

But is isn’t it’s still on and going live

You’re about to pack up and walk away

But a small tug stops you

It’s Sakusa and the people are going wild because holy shit, is Sakusa actually touching someone??? Our clean freak?? Are my eyes deceiving me??

You take his hand (“What the hell?”) and softly ask “Kiyo? What’s wrong?” (“DID THEY SAY KIYO UGH CARDIAC ARREST”)

He mumbles about how he doesn’t want you to talk to his teammates, even for the sake of interviews (“IS SAKUSA JEALOUS??? OUR DETACHED BOY???”)

You giggle and ruffle his hair, kissing him over the mask (“I AM FAINTING CALL 119”) while saying you need to do your job

And then look over to the cameraman

Whose jaw is on the floor

And you can see the red blinking light from the camera

“Ah, shit”

Tsukishima Kei

His teammates (*cough* Koganegawa *cough*) outed him on social media

You were working overseas and came back after months

The day coincided with a practise match, but Tsukishima was able to excuse himself

So you’re having the time of your life with your saltTM

He’s actually a really nice and sweet boyfriend underneath all that salt and sass

Even made a date course to explore the city

Had a good lunch and some strawberry shortcake in his favourite bakery

You enjoy it immensely, so he was smiling secretly

But then his phone starts blowing up for some reason

When he checks it, there are thousands of questions flooding his messages and social media

Turns out Koganegawa slipped up

He was doing an Instagram Live and when someone asked where Tsukki was

Did he come up with a good excuse?

Nope, he immediately said “Oh, he’s out on a date!”

Everyone’s confused because our salt has a partner?? Since when??

And then he realises he screwed up, especially with how private Tsukki is

The only thing stopping the exposed boy from returning to the gym and throwing hands with the setter is you

You kept saying it’s fine and it’s okay

He reluctantly gives up on planning his revenge (not really though)

You distract him enough to go to the museum he’s going to be working at

And he later uploads a photo of you from behind while you’re reading a dinosaur’s description

(And a separate one where Koganegawa is in a dogeza pose)

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Schweiden Adlers won another match

Ushijima answers interviews, like he does every match

One particular reporter asks the root of his energy and passion

They expected an answer like “thirst for success” or “pride and honour” or something along those lines

But he smiles softly, which breaks everyone watching because they have never seen that before

But the next thing breaks them even more

He says “[Name], my spouse.”

His teammates knew about you but not everyone else

People are spitting their drinks out and absolutely flabbergasted

Even his own teammates because he didn’t seem like the person to say that

He says it’s your first anniversary as a married couple

But he’s overseas so he can’t be with you today

Says that he sent a present and he hopes you’ll like it

Then bows and just walks away to change

Like he hasn’t said the most scandalous thing since the start of his career

Tons of articles and Twitter posts are made about him and this new revelation

To the point where it’s trending #1

He doesn’t care though, and you really don’t either

It wasn’t that big or important of a secret

He just didn't mention it up to now because he didn’t see the need

He doesn’t have to publicise the extent of his love for you because you already know that

The present was a brand-new, top of the line laptop along with a new phone

The same brand as his (awww couple items)

So that he can FaceTime/video call you with HD quality

His teammates have to listen to him being sickeningly cute every night now

And complain about it on interviews 

#BestHusbandUshijimaWakatoshi starts trending

[tackedtothewall]

Two thoughts about Persuasion (2022)

With the caveat that I haven’t seen it.

Thought one is just a quote from the end of this essay in the Washington Post:

After two years of the pandemic, perhaps “Persuasion” fans are not feeling playful. We’re feeling sad and grief-stricken, and tired and taken for granted, clear-eyed about what we’ve lost and the stakes of the time we have left. And we want to see our own melancholy reflected back to us.We know what Anne Elliot has been through. Because we’ve been through it, too.

Thought two is inspired by the two images going around of Anne saying she’s going to listen to Beethoven with a bottle of red...

They’ve got Anne’s age wrong. Not from a purely numbers standpoint, but from a cultural standpoint. Being 27 in 1816 was not the same as being 28 in 2022. I don’t mean from a life expectancy angle* but more from a social expectations range. In terms of marriage, professional life, etc.

For a concrete example: in the 1980s and 1990s you could walk into any party store and there’d be stuff in the birthday section with tombstones and canes for “over the hill.” Which was 40. I haven’t seen that in ages.

I would say, somewhat anecdotally, that an unmarried woman of 27 in the period when Austen was writing would be more like a woman in her mid 30s today. She looks like she has her life together and has made career choices, but maybe she has doubts and regrets. Neither she nor her social circle are regularly staying out until 1 or 2am partying. She’s realizing she needs to actually start planning for retirement - in fact, maybe she’s a little late!

Which is why the Anne of this new film, at least as she appears in the trailers and screencaps, doesn’t work for the story. This is supposed to be someone who thinks “Shit, I missed my chance to do the thing. I was going to be a novelist and now I’m a paralegal.” And then the universe pulls out the “Oprah started her career in her forties!” meme.

----

*Look, historical life expectancy isn’t “they all died in their 40s,” although yes the average for women is lower because of the dangers of pregnancy and childbirth. But you still get people of all genders living into their 70s, 80s - even in excess of a hundred years.

[astral-lucy]

hi! just wanted to warn that, even though i've been studying astrology for four years now, it hasn't been continuous, so, i'm sorry for any mistakes made. second, english is not my first language, so, yet again, sorry if i make any mistakes. last but not least, just wanted to say this is not made to offend anyone, i adore taylor swift and wouldn't want to post anything that could be harmful but, if you feel like it is, please let me know!

capricorn mercury

just wanted to start off by saying that i feel that capricorn mercury natives enjoy storytelling a lot, especially those when there's a classic vibe to the story. and if they're the ones actually telling the story, it's even better; they get a chance to tell the story however they think it's best, planning every detail and practising until they feel it has the vibe it needs to have. they communicate with a goal, for a reason, and do their best at getting a message across.

*if the speculations that she's a scorpio rising are true, her capricorn mercury might fall into her second house, meaning that she can profit from telling stories and communicating in general

scorpio mars

honestly, this is a super personal "observation", i guess, but i feel like mars here takes all the "misfortunes" she had to go through, all that feelings and experiences into creating and transforming all that energy into something great.

...did i explain that right?

cancer moon

since we're in the topic of feelings, her cancer moon also helps a lot when creating. water moons are really perceptive and sensitive, just like they're empathic (without mentioning her cancer jupiter, who just duplicates all this energy) . so she may overthink and analyze a situation or a story she heard for a long time (that's on her capricorn mercury)and then, having the words perfectly thought out on her head, her cancer moon starts painting the words with emotions, threading musical notes from within all those feelings as well.

mercury conjunct Neptune

this is an amazing aspect for writers, songwriters, storytellers, novelist- anything that has to do with words. this conjunction emphasizes imagination, daydreaming, making up scenarios, characters, even places; anything to create a great story. this also gives a lot of creativity, being people who love to have the fancy and dream-y words in their works. the native with this aspect tend to inspire and touch people.

mercury trine mc

this creates a great aspect for anyone who wants to work with words, as it shows you will succeed by using them in your professional life. it makes for thoughtful natives, deep thinkers, people who have a message to share. it heelp grow talent.

this was short but i wanted to know what it was like to create a post like this. i hope to have a new phone soon so i can do this more often here! thank you if you've made it this far. i don't tolerate copying someone's work, but i'd appreciate it if you want to share!

love, lucy.

[uncloseted]

okay i absolutely LOVE the jobs redux thing you posted so what type of jobs do you think GEN 3 would have? ❤️

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked them. I could have sworn I did the same thing for Gen 3 somewhere but I can't find the post so maybe I just thought about it in my head?

I also want to preface this by saying that Gen 3 is also a little bit more complicated than the others in terms of guessing what their futures might look like because we don't get as good of an idea of what their plans for their futures are. In gens 1 and 2, we mostly know which A-levels the characters are taking, which universities they applied to and for what, and we get a general sense of where they think their lives are headed. But for gen 3, we don't get as much of that.

Mini: I think Mini would do well as the editor in chief of a high fashion magazine, since she's someone who's really interested in fashion and trends and who's good at managing other people.

Liv: I think Liv would do well as a teacher or a school counsellor or something like that. She mentions going to uni, but she doesn't say what she's going there to study, and the only subject we know she takes is English Literature. So maybe she studied Psychology at university and then became a school counsellor.

Franky: One of Franky's hobbies is making stop-motion animation videos, and I like the idea of her pursuing something like that professionally. So maybe she'd be a stop motion animator, or a CGI artist, or a miniature maker for film sets. Something that's creative and time intensive but relatively solitary.

Rich: Rich goes to Bradbury College to study English Literature and Philosophy. Since Bradbury is apparently a college of Cambridge University, that gives him a lot of options for his future. I think I like the idea of him becoming a novelist, the kind that writes literary fiction about grief and death that gets nominated for important awards. I think he would feel like that's something Grace would be proud of.

Alo: I like the idea of Alo being a stay at home dad. I think he would be really good at it if he could get to the point where he recognizes that he's an adult with responsibilities and that he can't just be having fun all the time.

Matty: I have no idea what I think Matty would be doing as an adult. He doesn't have a lot of stability in his life that would allow him to have a career, and he turns himself in for a drug possession charge that would presumably limit his career options. I kind of imagine he would be the type of guy who always has lots of odd jobs and maybe has a band that plays music that sounds like "everything Edgar Allen Poe would have listened to if the synthesizer was created before 1964."

Nick: Nick takes English Literature at school, and I think we can also assume he took something like Sports Science, Physical Education, or Physical Science. I think he would make a great coach for a college rugby team, and I think he'd like having the opportunity to be a support system to the guys on his team, the same way his coach was a support system for him.

[nanowrimo]

How to Plan a Novel (By Not Planning It)

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. Novlr, a 2020 NaNo sponsor, is the smart writers’ choice for novel writing software. Today, Novlr Community Manager Crystal Lynn Kamm shares some tips for all the pantsers out there who want to get ready to write their NaNoWriMo novel without actually planning it:

NaNoWriMo 2020 is fast approaching and writers everywhere are working hard on their novel ideas. Some of you have already meticulously planned everything you're going to write next month, while others have decided it wing it by sliding into their computer chairs on November 1st without a single plan. And probably most people are somewhere between these two polar opposites. Which type of writer are you?

I’ll be honest, I’m the kind of writer who likes to plan for success. I’ve done NaNoWriMo (and Camp NaNoWriMo) quite a few times, but I find that the years where I come in with a plan, I do better. 

Before you get too worried, “a plan” doesn’t have to be as big of a deal as you might think. Many writers thrive off the understanding that the novel unfolds as it will, making pre-planning difficult. As a self-proclaimed “organized pantser,” I would completely agree with that sentiment. (Side note, have you heard about the difference between planners and pantsers, a.k.a. one who “flies by the seat of their pants”?) 

Here are some methods of writing planning that I love to employ before I get started on a big writing project:

Outline 

When people talk about planning, they almost always mean outlining. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like outlines at all. They are very restrictive! But, that being said, they can be helpful at times. If possible, I recommend at least planning out the main plot points of your novel. Identifying what the characters’ goals are, what big things happen, and how they’re ultimately resolved can save you from a lot of aimless wandering at the drafting stage!

Brainstorm

What if you don’t know what your main plot points are? That’s a completely valid issue, especially if you’re a pantser like me. I sometimes like to brainstorm ideas for what those plot points might be so that I can play with a few scenarios during the drafting process and see which ones work best for my characters. 

Writing exercise

Getting to know your characters is one of the best ways to figure out what they would or wouldn’t do. Once you know that, a whole new assortment of possibilities will show up for your novel’s plot. Follow @novlrtweets on Twitter to get some great interaction and writing prompts for helping you dig deeper into your fiction!

Freewrite or journal

Sometimes prompts take your writing a direction that you weren’t intending on going with your novel and freewriting is a better choice. Freewriting or journaling about your novel can really help you to clear away the cobwebs and dig into your writing process. I like to free write about my novel almost every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. I write about my struggles, my plot holes, my character frustrations, anything that’s on my mind. Sometimes I get life-changing epiphanies, but let’s be honest, that’s not the norm. Just working through the questions will often give you a change of perspective and the added bit of motivation you need just to keep going. 

Story bible

If you’ve really got some time on your hands or want to make sense of a very complicated world that you’re building for your story, creating a “bible” can be an incredible exercise in organization. The idea of creating a “bible” for a story is a system used in TV show writing. A bible will contain a bio and picture for every character, plus a breakdown of what motivates them and how they fit into the plot, every setting, and every unique system in the story. This can be an essential element in high-concept stories where characters are using magic, fighting powerful enemies, engaging in extremely technical science, or moving around in a complex world with lots of unusual settings. 

The best part about all of these preparatory exercises is that they don’t actually have to be done first. You can “prepare” for your novel at any stage of the writing process, whether you’ve only written a page or you’re in your third full draft. Be sure to let me know if you’ve tried any of these methods before and whether they’ve worked for you! What methods of novel prep do you swear by? I can’t wait to hear from you in the comments!

Try Novlr

Novlr has chapter organization and separate note organization so you can write your thoughts down whenever they come to you and manage it all in one place. Sign up for a free two-week trial of Novlr and use the 40% off promo code when you decide to subscribe: gMR3xpnR. 

Crystal Lynn Kamm is Community Manager for Novlr, the leading online writing tool. She is a professional writer and novelist; passionate storyteller and prolific NaNoWriMo participant (and winner!). She’ll be working on her novel right alongside all of you this year. Follow her progress and more Novlr advice and resources on NaNoWriMo, Twitter (@novlrtweets), and Instagram (@novlrofficial).

Top photo by Ferenc Horvath on Unsplash.

[thistle-and-thorn]

my goal-setting manifesto

So recently @woodswit wrote a super thought-provoking post about struggling with the benefits of loving feeling fit and struggling with external validation regarding fitness and so this is kind of my reference guide for myself about goal-setting and the way *I* need to remember to think about it.

I minored in a very specific form of organizational management in college and a huge part of that curriculum was goal-setting. We were encouraged to make one-year, five-year, ten-year career plans, we learned how to set SMART goals, how to identify what steps were right for you, etc. Well, babies, I did not need this curriculum because in high school we had done this exact same curriculum. SMART goals, college planning, etc. Bitch, I knew how to plan my life and, bitch, I had it planned. I was a very high-achieving and ambitious student—I went after awards, AP scores, good grades, letters of recommendation. The school system I attended was very typical of an American school in that those things were the primary indicators for success and the “quality” of our grades determined our classes (and subsequently our social groups) and myriad other things. I was a “good girl” and bought into and benefitted from this kind of structure immensely.

Well. I also have struggled with severe anxiety and periodic depressive episodes that significantly interrupt my daily life and ability to care appropriately for myself. These disorders reached a critical mass at the midpoint of my college career and, after two very bad semesters (one of which ended with me getting a tiny sexy scar from fainting into a doorway), I realized I needed to make significant changes to my priorities. More specifically, I needed to examine the method by which I was defining and collecting achievement and validation. So, after much therapy (I love u Claire), soul-searching, several glasses of a very good local hard cider, I decided to write out the way I goal-set now that enables me to actually breathe and not spiral into self-hatred.

Why Do We Need Goal-Setting?

I actually think that goal-setting is deeply important. If you are a dreamer, I would even say that goal-setting is essential. Personally, I’m a planner/dreamer and enjoy setting goals. It comforts me. Getting a little organized around amorphous ideas like “I want to be a novelist” or “I wish I could travel the world” allows those things to become attainable.

Process and Product

I would say that there are two ways of thinking about goals:

1. Product-Oriented: This is the type of thinking that was taught in my management classes and is exactly what it sounds like. If you do these steps, then you will get x-result. An example of a well-written product-oriented goal is, “By Tuesday, I need to complete three research reports.” (This is true, and I completed them today motherfuckers.) It’s concise, attainable, and happens within a set timeframe.

2. Process-Oriented: This type of thinking focuses on what you will learn or benefit from accomplishing an activity. When I was teaching preschool, an example of this would be taking the kids for a nature walk or free drawing, basically doing an activity where there is no expected result. There is nothing to achieve, there is no medal. The work and the discoveries you make doing the work is the reward. A process-oriented goal would be, “I want to learn about characterization from writing this story.”

In woodswit’s example, she talks about the benefits that cardio exercise has on her mental health, how much happier and confident she is when she is doing a certain variety of exercise regularly. She also talks about how she used to do intense sports.

In this case, a product-oriented way to frame that discussion would be, “I want to get back to the weight I was when I was playing sports” or “I want to be able to lift fifty pounds again.” You will take smaller steps to reach that product—changing the way you eat, figuring out a plan for to work up to lifting heavier things. But the product-oriented way is ultimately a binary—you will either be able to lift fifty pounds or not, you will either reach the weight you were or you won’t. But the process-oriented way to think about these things would be, “I love biking and want to do more of it. Every weekend this summer, I will bike a different rail trail in my county.” The process-oriented method is less specific, but it takes that pressure away from your performance—in the biking example, the only expectation that is set is that you’re going to travel to different bike trails, not that you have to go to every rail trail in the county or that you have to complete the whole trail when you go or that you have to do it in a certain time, just that you are going to go.

There is space for both of these methods, and they are best used in conjunction with each other. Product-oriented is useful, especially in financial situations. A goal for 2022 is to visit my childhood best friend in her new home, halfway across the country. Say I want to go in May 2022 and I figure out that it will cost me roughly $2000. I should probably set a goal with steps to save $2000 by May. It’s also beneficial for the smaller steps to bolster your path to your big dreams—When I was a kid, playing piano gave me a lot of discipline and I would like to have that habit again. That is a process-oriented way of thinking about playing music, but you will probably need to set smaller, product-based goals to achieve it—you will need to select a song and learn to play it, within that song you will need to master it measure by measure.

When we are trained to reach for product, it is hard to recognize the value of process-orientation. A phenomenal example is my WIP. The story I am writing now has 3% the amount of kudos as my biggest fic. I also had a goal of updating every Tuesday. By product standards, that story is a flop. It has the least amount of engagement of anything I’ve ever written, and I haven’t updated it in like two weeks. However, why do I write? I write because I enjoy it, I write fanfic specifically to practice new skills. This story has stretched my abilities and I’ve grown from working on it. By process standards, it’s the most successful of my fics.

And in terms of bigger life things? Process-oriented is the way to go. Why? Because if the pandemic taught us anything, it is that life is not linear. It is nearly impossible to set a straight path—be it up a corporate ladder or a fitness goal—why? Because life sucks. Someone dies, you become ill, it rains, you fall in love, you fall out of love—minute inconveniences happen every day. Process takes the pressure off of your performance because you can’t perform all the time. This is essential in fitness goals because our physical state is especially ephemeral. Of course, it happens in other areas of life, too. An example: In the autumn of 2017, I fell into the deepest depression I have ever been in before or since. I could not remember to shower, let alone do my anthropology homework. As a result, for the first time, I was struggling to create the basic products—like, you know, homework—expected in my classes. That was even more devastating. Around the midpoint of the semester, I realized that product was not sustaining me and if I didn’t want to drop out or harm myself when I “failed”, I had to change my approach.

Once my classes became less about “I need to feel my Middle East studies requirement so I can get a History degree and get an A so I can get on the Dean’s List,” and I reconnected with, “I want to learn a lot about the Middle East,” the products came more naturally. They came more imperfectly, too, but I was able to complete the product because I put less pressure on making them to a certain standard. It became easier to recommit to my goal of being a college-educated woman when I remembered the why of receiving a college education. In woodswit’s original post, she acknowledges that the definition of intense exercise is different for every individual. But it’s also different for the individual at different points in their life and recognizing that intensity and success are arbitrary standards is an essential part of reframing your goal-setting as being process-orientated.

How Do I Goal Set Now?

I still goal-set and a lot of my goals could be likely defined as product-goals. However, they are all made with a long view in mind—if I set a goal to run a 5K, what am I going to get out of it besides just saying that I can run a 5K? Here are ways that I stay process-oriented throughout:

1. Goal Periods

I have three times of year when I set goals: January, June, and Lent. I will set a date on the calendar every year to sit down and just think about what I want to accomplish just in the next twelve-month period and what vision I have for myself in three to five years. No more than that.

January is when I set my personal goals and June is where I set my professional ones. I keep a spreadsheet throughout the year of experiences I would like to have. I will look to this list for inspiration. In January and June, while goal-setting, I check in with the opposing goals. So, in June, I checked in with my progression on my personal goals. I rethought if those goals were still realistic and if I was benefitting from them and in what ways. Then I recommitted to them or adjusted them to help me reach them.

2. Holistic Goals

Unless it’s curing cancer, there is no single goal worth putting all the rest on hold for. Each goal is a battle, and your life is the war. This is a deeply privileged example but: the goal of living independently the first two years out of college was probably achievable. But the effort to achieve that one goal meant that, like, six other personal and financial goals would not be met. So, I put off my career goals and stayed at home and taught preschool for two years. It meant a delay while it seemed like my other friends were growing up and achieving at faster rates, but the temporary strain of achieving a particular goal is sometimes worth it when it dominos into other opportunities.

3. Goal Bundling

I bundle my goals now as a part of my goals check-ins. An example of this is: I loved studying abroad and would love to spend more extended time in the country I studied in during undergrad. I would love to go to graduate school. Ipso facto, presto change-o, I should look at graduate programs in that country and see if that is an achievable goal.

This post is a good example of all of this lol. Why did I write it? there won't be an audience for it but the process of setting all of these thoughts on to paper was cathartic, creating a reference guide on this topic for myself when I am depressed is important, and that has to, has to, has to be good enough.

[ucflibrary]

Welcome to Asian Pacific American Heritage Month!

It has been a difficult 14 months for the world, but our Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) brothers and sisters have faced even more struggles. From small harassments to intense acts of violence, the AAPI community has borne the brunt of American fears and grief relating to the pandemic. These malicious acts demonstrate as a country we are not living up to the ideals of our nation. As Americans and Knights, we need to demonstrate these ideals are worth fighting for. Actions you can take range from learning more about the AAPI experience and history to using any privilege we have to push back against racism and violence.

One way to learn more about AAPI history and experiences is to visit the Libraries’ Readings on Race guide. This guide includes a page for general information about racism in America and how to have conversations about it to pages specifically addressing the experiences of marginalized communities in the United States such as Asian America Pacific Islander, African American, Hispanic/Latinx, and Indigenous. Take some time to familiarize yourself with lived experiences beyond your own race or ethnicity so we can stand together and become a more inclusive Knight community.

If you witness or experience incidents of discrimination or violence, report them to the university. If any of these incidents have impacted you, UCF has resources that can help. For more information, visit UCF Cares, Student Care Services or UCF Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) if you are a student, and the Employee Assistance Program if you are an employee.

 For 2021 Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, UCF Libraries faculty and staff have suggested these 20 books from the library’s collection by or about Asian Pacific Americans. Click the link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links. There is also an extensive physical display on the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library near the Research & Information Desk.

A Burning by Megha Majumdar After a fiery attack on a train leaves 104 people dead, the fates of three people become inextricably entangled. Jivan, a bright, striving woman from the slums looking for a way out of poverty, is wrongly accused of planning the attack because of a careless comment on Facebook. PT Sir, a slippery gym teacher from Jivan's former high school, has hitched his aspirations to a rising right wing party, and his own ascent becomes increasingly linked to Jivan's fall. Lovely, a spirited, impoverished, relentlessly optimistic hjira, who harbors dreams of becoming a Bollywood star, can provide the alibi that would set Jivan free - but her appearance in court will have unexpected consequences that will change the course of all of their lives. A novel about fate, power, opportunity, and class; about innocence and guilt, betrayal and love, and the corrosive media cycle that manufactures falsehoods masquerading as truths. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions and Collection Services

 American History Unbound: Asians and Pacific Islanders by Gary K. Okihiro A survey of U.S. history from its beginnings to the present, this  reveals our past through the lens of Asian American and Pacific Islander history. In so doing, it is a work of both history and anti-history, a narrative that fundamentally transforms and deepens our understanding of the United States. This text is accessible and filled with engaging stories and themes that draw attention to key theoretical and historical interpretations. Gary Y. Okihiro positions Asians and Pacific Islanders within a larger history of people of color in the United States and places the United States in the context of world history and oceanic worlds. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 American Panda by Gloria Chao A freshman at MIT, seventeen-year-old Mei Lu tries to live up to her Taiwanese parents' expectations, but no amount of tradition, obligation, or guilt prevent her from hiding several truths-- that she is a germaphobe who cannot become a doctor, she prefers dancing to biology, she decides to reconnect with her estranged older brother, and she is dating a Japanese boy. Can she find a way to be herself, before her web of lies unravels? Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Asian American History: a very short introduction by Madeline Y. Hsu Madeline Y. Hsu weaves a fascinating historical narrative of this "American Dream." She shows how Asian American success, often attributed to innate cultural values, is more a result of the immigration laws, which have largely pre-selected immigrants of high economic and social potential. Asian Americans have, in turn, been used by politicians to bludgeon newer (and more populous) immigrant groups for their purported lack of achievement. Hsu deftly reveals how public policy, which can restrict and also selectively promote certain immigrant populations, is a key reason why some immigrant groups appear to be more naturally successful and why the identity of those groups evolves differently from others. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Eyes That Kiss in the Corners by Joanna Ho A young Asian girl notices that her eyes look different from her peers'. They have big, round eyes and long lashes. She realizes that her eyes are like her mother's, her grandmother's, and her little sister's. They have eyes that kiss in the corners and glow like warm tea, crinkle into crescent moons, and are filled with stories of the past and hope for the future. Drawing from the strength of these powerful women in her life, she recognizes her own beauty and discovers a path to self love and empowerment. This powerful, poetic picture book will resonate with readers of all ages and is a celebration of diversity. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Frankly in Love by David Yoon High school senior Frank Li is caught between his parents' traditional expectations and his own Southern California upbringing. His parents have one rule when it comes to romance: ‘Date Korean.’ But Frank falls for Brit Means, who is smart, beautiful-- and white. Joy Song is in a similar predicament, and they make a pact: they'll pretend to date each other in order to gain their freedom. It seems like the perfect plan, until their fake-dating maneuver leaves Frank wondering if he ever really understood love- or himself- at all. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Ghosts of Gold Mountain: the epic story of the Chinese who built the Transcontinental Railroad by Gordon H. Chang The long-lost tale of the Chinese workers who built the Transcontinental Railroad, helping to forge modern America only to disappear into the shadows of history. In this groundbreaking book, award-winning historian Gordon H. Chang recovers the stories of these "silent spikes" and returns them to their rightful place in our national saga. Drawing on recent archaeological findings, as well as payroll records, ship manifests, photographs, and other sources from American and Chinese archives, Chang retraces the laborers' odyssey in breathtaking detail. He introduces individual workers, describes their hopes and fears, and shows how they lived, ate, fought, loved, worked, and worshiped. Their sweat and blood not only fueled the ascent of an interlinked, industrial United States, but also laid the groundwork for a thriving Chinese America. A magisterial feat of scholarship and storytelling, this book honors these immigrants' sacrifice and ingenuity, and celebrates their role in this defining American achievement. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Good Enough by Paul  Yoo A Korean American teenager tries to please her parents by getting into an Ivy League college, but a new guy in school and her love of the violin tempt her in new directions. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Interior Chinatown by Charles Yu Everyday Willis Wu leaves his tiny room in a Chinatown SRO and enters the Golden Palace restaurant, where Black and White, a procedural cop show, is in perpetual production. He's a bit player here too, but he dreams of being Kung Fu Guy-- and he sees his life as a script. After stumbling into the spotlight, Willis finds himself launched into a wider world than he has ever known, discovering not only the secret history of Chinatown, but the buried legacy of his own family, and what that means for him in today's America. Suggested by Ying Zhang, Administration

 Last Witnesses: reflections on the wartime internment of Japanese Americans edited by Erica Harth To the writers in this book - novelists, memoirists, poets, activists, scholars, students, professionals - the World War II internment of Japanese Americans in the detention camps is an unfinished chapter of American history that mars the nostalgic glow that often surrounds the World War II home front years. Former internees, like John Tateishi and Robert Maeda, and children of detainees and of camp officials join with others in challenging readers to construct a better future by confronting this dark episode from America's World War II scrapbook. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Minor Feelings: an Asian American reckoning by Cathy Park Hong With sly humor and a poet’s searching mind, Hong uses her own story as a portal into a deeper examination of racial consciousness in America today. This intimate and devastating book traces her relationship to the English language, to shame and depression, to poetry and female friendship. A radically honest work of art, it forms a portrait of one Asian American psyche—and of a writer’s search to both uncover and speak the truth. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services, and Ying Zhang, Administration

 Monstress by Marjorie M. Liu Set in an alternate matriarchal 1900's Asia, in a richly imagined world of art deco-inflected steam punk, Liu tells the story of a teenage girl who is struggling to survive the trauma of war, and who shares a mysterious psychic link with a monster of tremendous power, a connection that will transform them both and make them the target of both human and otherworldly powers Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions and Collection Services

 Paper Son: the inspiring story of Tyrus Wong, immigrant and artist by Julie Leung An inspiring picture-book biography of animator Tyrus Wong, the Chinese American immigrant responsible for bringing Disney's Bambi to life. Before he became an artist named Tyrus Wong, he was a boy named Wong Geng Yeo. He traveled across a vast ocean from China to America with only a suitcase and a few papers. Not papers for drawing--which he loved to do--but immigration papers to start a new life. Once in America, Tyrus seized every opportunity to make art, eventually enrolling at an art institute in Los Angeles. Working as a janitor at night, his mop twirled like a paintbrush in his hands. Eventually, he was given the opportunity of a lifetime--and using sparse brushstrokes and soft watercolors, Tyrus created the iconic backgrounds of Bambi. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Run Me to Earth by Paul Yoon Alisak, Prany, and Noi--three orphans united by devastating loss - must do what is necessary to survive the perilous landscape of 1960s Laos. When they take shelter in a bombed out field hospital, they meet Vang, a doctor dedicated to helping the wounded at all costs. Soon the teens are serving as motorcycle couriers, delicately navigating their bikes across the fields filled with unexploded bombs, beneath the indiscriminate barrage from the sky. In a world where the landscape and the roads have turned into an ocean of bombs, we follow their grueling days of rescuing civilians and searching for medical supplies, until Vang secures their evacuation on the last helicopters leaving the country. It's a move with irrevocable consequences--and sets them on disparate and treacherous paths across the world. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions and Collection Services

 Searching for Sylvie Lee: a novel by Jean Kwok A poignant and suspenseful drama that untangles the complicated ties binding three women--two sisters and their mother--in one Chinese immigrant family and explores what happens when the eldest daughter disappears, and a series of family secrets emerge. Sylvie, the beautiful, brilliant, successful older daughter of the Lee family, flies to the Netherlands for one final visit with her dying grandmother-- and vanishes. Amy is too young to remember a time when her parents were newly immigrated and too poor to keep Sylvie, who was raised by a distant relative in a faraway, foreign place. Amy flies to the last place Sylvie was seen, retracing her sister's movements. It seems Sylvie kept painful secrets that reveal more about Amy's family than she ever could have imagined. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 Somewhere Only We Know by Maurene Goo Told from two viewpoints, teens Lucky, a very famous K-pop star, and Jack, a part-time paparazzo who is trying to find himself, fall for each other against the odds through the course of one stolen day. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Strangers from a Different Shore: a history of Asian Americans by Ronald Takaki In an extraordinary blend of narrative history, personal recollection, and oral testimony, the author presents a sweeping history of Asian Americans. He writes of the Chinese who laid tracks for the transcontinental railroad, of plantation laborers in the canefields of Hawaii, of "picture brides" marrying strangers in the hope of becoming part of the American dream. He tells stories of Japanese Americans behind the barbed wire of U.S. internment camps during World War II, Hmong refugees tragically unable to adjust to Wisconsin's alien climate and culture, and Asian American students stigmatized by the stereotype of the “model minority.” Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 The Island of Sea Women by Lisa See This beautiful, thoughtful novel illuminates a world turned upside down, one where the women are in charge, engaging in dangerous physical work, and the men take care of the children. A classic Lisa See story—one of women’s friendships and the larger forces that shape them—this book introduces readers to the fierce and unforgettable female divers of Jeju Island and the dramatic history that shaped their lives. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 What We Carry: a memoir by Maya Shanbhag Lang Lang grew up idolizing her brilliant mother, an accomplished psychologist who immigrated to the United States from India, completed her residency and earned an American medical degree while nurturing young children and keeping a traditional Indian home. Her mother's stories motivated her, encouraged her, offered solace when she needed it. When Lang becomes a mother herself, her mother becomes a grandmother who is cold and distant. Reexamining the stories of her childhood, Lang realized that being able to accept both myth and reality is what has finally brought her into adulthood Suggested by Ying Zhang, Administration

 Your House Will Pay by Steph Cha In the wake of the police shooting of a black teenager, Los Angeles is as tense as it's been since the unrest of the early 1990s. But Grace Park and Shawn Matthews have their own problems. Grace is sheltered and largely oblivious, living in the Valley with her Korean-immigrant parents, working long hours at the family pharmacy. Shawn has already had enough of politics and protest after an act of violence shattered his family years ago. But when another shocking crime hits LA, both the Park and Matthews families are forced to face down their history while navigating the tumult of a city on the brink of more violence. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions and Collection Services

[kny111]

Apocalyptic novelist Max Brooks is something of an expert on planning for pandemics and other disasters. The author, whose books include World War Z, Germ Warfare and the forthcoming Devolution, has toured the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and has reviewed government response plans related to various emergency situations — all in the course of research.

"We have a network in place that we as taxpayers have been funding to get us ready for something just like this," Brooks says of the U.S. response to the COVID-19 pandemic. But, he adds, "we have been disastrously slow and disorganized from Day 1."

Brooks says the notion that the U.S. government was blindsided by the pandemic is "an onion of layered lies."

"What could have happened when this virus exploded — even when Wuhan was locked down — is we could have put the word out," he says. "The government could have put the word out to ramp up emergency supplies to get them ready and then have an information strategy in place."

Instead, Brooks says, President Trump was slow to acknowledge the virus as a real threat. And thus far, the president has resisted using the Defense Production Act to force private companies to manufacture masks, gloves and other essential supplies in the fight against the coronavirus. Many government task forces that plan for disasters have yet to be activated in this crisis.

White House Not Using Defense Powers To Boost Medical Supplies

"One of the biggest problems we're facing now is panic. You see it in the stock market. You see it in panic buying," he says. "All of this panic could have been prevented. ... If the president had been working since January to get the organs of government ready for this, we as citizens could have been calmed down knowing that the people that we trust to protect us are doing that."

Interview highlights

On the task forces that plan for situations like this

Max Brooks has researched disaster preparedness for his novels and has lectured on the subject at the U.S. Naval War College. He has also been a nonresident fellow at the Modern War Institute at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point. His new book, Devolution, will be published May 2020. Michelle Kholos/Penguin Random House

I can tell you that the federal government has multiple layers of disaster preparedness who are always training, always planning, always preparing, regardless of how much their budget gets cut. I have toured the CDC, and I've seen all their plans. I have witnessed what was called a "vibrant response." This is the homeland nuclear attack scenario, which was a coordination of FEMA, the Army, the National Guard, state and local officials, all working together in a massive war game to prepare us for a nuke. I have also witnessed what was called a "hurricane rehearsal of concept drill," where not only did the same players come in, but also bringing in our allies from Canada and Mexico. So I have seen that we have countless dedicated professionals who think about this constantly and they're ready to go. And they have not been activated.

On why these task forces haven't been activated yet

There is no excuse not to mobilize the full forces of the federal government right now and to centralize the response.

This all has to come from the federal government. This is why we have big government. Politically, you can argue about the role of big government in everyday society, but this is not every day. This is an emergency. The entire reason that we have these networks is when the bells start ringing — and they have not been activated. I don't know. I'm not sitting in the White House. I don't know whether the president is being lied to, whether he is holding onto a political ideology. I honestly don't know. But there is no excuse not to mobilize the full forces of the federal government right now and to centralize the response.

On how the Defense Production Act works when mobilized properly

What is supposed to happen is the federal government has to activate the Defense Production Act immediately. Now, what Defense Production Act does is it allows the federal government to step in and aggressively force the private sector to produce what we need. And what is so critical in this is timing. Because you can't simply build factories from scratch; what you can do is identify a supply chain in order to make it work.

Novelist Max Brooks On Doomsday, Dyslexia And Growing Up With Hollywood Parents

For example, if New York needs rubber gloves, New York cannot simply build rubber glove factories overnight. However, there might be a rubber glove factory in Ohio that could produce it, but they might not have the latex. So therefore, the Defense Production Act allows the federal government to go to the condom factory in Missouri and say, "Listen, you have barrels of latex we need. We are requisitioning those. We are giving them to the rubber glove factory in Ohio. And then we are transporting the finished rubber gloves to New York." That's how it is supposed to work.

On how Trump warns about nationalizing private industry — but that's not how it works

President Trump is spinning some sort of tale about, I don't know, the federal government — black helicopters coming in and taking over factories. That's not how it works at all. What happens is the federal government has the network to identify where the production chain is and how to help the private sector work through this, because the private sector doesn't know.

And as an example, I have a World War II rifle made by the Smith Corona typewriter company. Smith Corona worked with the federal government to then partner up with the Winchester company, to then share resources and to share tools and talent to then produce the rifles that we needed. That's how it works. It's not some sort of KGB coming in and taking over everything. It is guidance and streamlining. And only the federal government has the experience to know how to do that.

On what the U.S. military would do in a pandemic

I can tell you that the military has a vast transportation network here in the United States that is ready to go. We don't have to put truck drivers or private individuals at risk, because the military is already trained to do this. And I've watched them do this. The military spent years working out the legal framework of how to transport goods from one place to another around this country, because it's not like Afghanistan, where the army builds a road and then they own the road. The army has had to go through a tremendous amount of training and adaptation to work within state and local governments to make sure everything is done legally and safe without infringing on our rights. And they have done this. The Army's logistics corps can deliver anything that we need anywhere in this country within a matter of hours or days.

When it comes to sheer massive might, getting stuff done, getting stuff produced and getting stuff moved from Point A to Point B, there is no greater organ in the world than the United States military. We did it in World War II. We've done it all over the world. We can do this now. This is the thing the military is good at, and we need to let them do that.

On how the pandemic is revealing flaws in our social structure

I think there are massive gaps in our systems that are being exposed right now, which, by the way, this is not news to the experts. Anybody who works in these fields could have told you years ago that we were vulnerable to this. It's going to rip through our prisons. It's going to rip through our homeless population. God willing, it doesn't rip through our nursing homes. But what no one is talking about, what terrifies me, what keeps me up at night are the secondary casualties that will occur because of hospital overflow. What I mean is we're only talking about now how many people are going to die if the coronavirus really rips through our country. What is not being talked about enough or what needs to be talked about are the people who are still going to die of cancer, of accidents, of other diseases, because they simply can't get into the hospitals because the hospitals are choked with coronavirus patients.

On how we share some of the blame for this mismanagement as voters in a democracy

In China, every single death will be laid directly at the feet of the Chinese Communist Party. They have all the power; therefore, they take all the responsibility. When we look back at this, we — all of us individual citizens — are going to have to take a measure of personal responsibility, because we are the government. If we don't like our leaders, we shouldn't have put them there. And as much as we would love to blame this historically incompetent captain of our ship of state, we have allowed the ship to rust underneath us. It's not just President Trump's fault that institutions like the CDC have been defunded for years. It's not just President Trump's fault that we have allowed anti-vaxxers to spread misinformation throughout this country. It's not just President Trump's fault that we are continuing to build a society in support of a tech world that is based on comfort and not on resilience. We as voters and we as taxpayers must accept our share of the blame.

There is a massive amount of blame that will be laid at the feet of Donald Trump and his enablers. And when this is all over, when the dead are buried and the sick are healed, there will be a reckoning. But there were systemic issues way before Donald Trump. When Donald Trump was a carnival barker on a reality show, we as a people, as a nation, were dismantling the systems that were put in place to keep us safe. And we need to look at that damage, because the one thing we don't want to do is assume that when Donald Trump goes away, that the problems will go with him.

On the difference between panic and preparation

Panic never helps. Panic implies that you lose your mind, and that in a war — even a war against a microscopic enemy — gives aid and comfort to the enemy. When you panic, you don't think rationally, and in times of crisis, rational thought is the greatest weapon you could possibly have. So preparing, No. 1, means clearing your mind and thinking about what you have to do. It means making a list of what you need to buy, prioritizing what needs to come first, thinking about how you're going to take care of the people around you. That is preparing. Panicking is freaking out and getting in a fistfight in the grocery store over bottled water when you don't even need the water, when the tap is already running. That's panic.

I think right now we have to be so careful about who we listen to, because panic can spread much faster than a virus. And I think in addition to social distancing, we have to practice good fact hygiene. What I mean is we have to be careful what we listen to, what we take in — just as if it were a virus. And we have to be careful also what we put back out, as if we were spreading the virus. So we cannot pass along rumors. We cannot pass along misinformation. We must be critically careful not to scare people into doing irrational and dangerous things. So we need to listen to experts, the CDC, Dr. Fauci [director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases], the World Health Organization, our local public health officials. These are the front-line soldiers that are doing everything to keep us safe and are literally putting their lives on the line. These are the people we need to listen to. What we cannot listen to is random facts on the Internet supposedly, things that people are passing along to us, conspiracy theories. And I'm very sorry to say this, but I think that everything our president says at this point must be fact-checked.

[princeasimdiya12]

So in my DR1 Taleshift AU, the talents go as followed: Swimmer!Makoto, LuckyStudent!Chihiro, Programmer!Toko, Novelist!Celestia, Gambler!Leon, BaseballPro!Mondo, GangLeader!Mukuro, Soldier!Sakura, MartialArtist!Kiyotaka, MoralCompass!Byakuya, AffluentProgeny!Junko, Fashionista!Kyoko, Detective!Hifumi, FanficAuthor!Yasuhiro, Clairvoyant!Sayaka and Idol!Aoi. These headcanons mean a lot to me!

Hey anon! Thank you for your patience! I’m sorry it took so long but I had alot of real life affairs to take care of. Even to this day. With that in mind, i would like to bring up that I won’t be accepting any new talentswap asks like this for some good time. 

With that, I hope you enjoy these new headcanons for this AU.

Makoto Naegi as the SHSL Swimmer

He could spend hours in a pool of water just letting his mind wander as his body feels the cool pool sensations.

One day, when he was out on the beach with his family, he spotted what looked like a dolphin in distress and far out into the open waters.

Without thinking, he immediately swam towards the creature and brought her to the beach to have her wounds fixed.

He earned quite a bit of noteriety for that.

He’s the shortest member of his swim team and has been playfully teased for it.

During the summer, he often serves as a lifeguard assistant.

Chihiro Fujisaki as the SHSL Lucky Student

Their luck made it difficult for them to interact with others in social situations.

When their luck causes bad things to happen, it usually results in Chihiro being involved in a given accident making them come off as a bad omen.

When their luck causes good things to happen, they find themselves getting attention from the media and eager crowds.

Chihiro’s constantly changing luck is a prime factor for their timid and frailness.

They put alot of time in researching different forms of luck and rituals in an attempt to change their luck to their preferences.

They’ve picked up a variety of good luck charms and have a tendency of performing superstitious rituals whenever they’re about to do something.

Chihiro is also willing to give those charms to their friends (like Mondo when it comes to big games). 

Touko Fukawa as the SHSL Programmer

Not wanting to be involved with her abusive family, Touko spent her whole time on the computer.

She familiarized herself with the complex workings of the computer and how to make her own programs.

Her specialty is being able to create anti-virus software that can detect and report potential hackers while maintaining a clean software system that can last for decades.

She hates it when people ask her if she can make video games as she believes them to be stupid and not worth her effort.

She enjoys venting her frustrations on message and forum boards by provoking others with her comments.

Syo still exists in this AU because of the abuse and managed to pick up on her original self’s programming skills.

Whenever Syo takes over, she manages to hack security programs and bank accounts as a means of taking revenge against unlucky kids who hurt her or her gloomy self.

She managed to frame them for crimes they didn’t commit, summoned gang members to tear down their homes, and have illegal commodities shipped to them.

Her username is Geno-Zdr50 and after her crimes were revealed, she was given the title of SHSL Hacker.

Celestia Ludenberg as the SHSL Author

She earned recognition for bringing back the gothic-romanticism genre.

Alot of her stories feature tales of romance and tragedy between elegant ladies and their supernatural/undead suitors.

Her wardrobe is similar to her original outfit only with a longer dress and she wears a black veil with red roses.

She claims to have been involved in multiple relationships with different men who provided her with an interesting romantic experience.

Celestia has a strong dislike for tropes and cliches and tries desperately to ensure that her stories avoid them.

The last thing she wants to be considered is a run of the mill author by some half-witted review articles.

Leon Kuwata as the SHSL Gambler

His main attire consists of a red collared shirt, black jeans and shades.

He doesn’t win every game because of his lazy attitude and his tendency to panic whenever things don’t go right for him.

Leon got the title by winning a few big competition games involving blackjack.

He prefers to use slot machines since they make it less hard for him to showcase his skills.

One of his tricks is by flirting with the waitresses or servers and convincing them to give them tips on what the dealers are like.

He often ropes Yasuhiro and Hifumi into joining him whenever he goes gambling believing that their eccentric personalities will boost his chances.

Mondo Oowada as the SHSL Baseball Player

He got into baseball because of his brother who was already a professional player.

Mondo’s has multiple baseball uniforms because of how often he tears or smears them.

He managed to convince some of his friends, who were close to becoming involved in gangs, to join him.

When he started playing, Mondo had a fierce temper and would pick fights against other unruly baseball players which would leave the two of them with bruises and black eyes.

Daiya decided to step in and offer his personalized training sessions to help Mondo before he ruined his career.

By channeling his frustrations into body improvement training and hitting the ball, Mondo was able to get a better control of his temper.

Although there have been cases where the baseballs he swings out of the stadiums end up causing massive damage in random streets.

Mukuro Ikusaba as the SHSL Gang Leader

Just like in canon, she ended up leaving her family to visit a country that was torn apart by war.

But rather than joining Fenrir, Mukuro ended up in the presence of orphans and street rats who lost their families to war.

She managed to convince them to join her in fighting back against the invading soldiers.

Using effective planning and improvised training, she was able to create her own army of resistance fighters who could take on any adult soldier.

They would be known as the Walking Corpses.

She instilled an anti-empathy principle onto her fighters so that they would feel no sorrow or despair for the loss of an ally.

Sakura Oogami as the SHSL Soldier

At an early age, she was recruited by the Japanese government to partake in a program designed to train soldiers.

She was scouted because of her family’s reputation as powerful fighters.

For years, she endured brutal training against a variety of fighters who were three times her age and with no heart in them.

She performed multiple reconnaissance missions which involved rescuing fellow soldiers from enemy territories while also taking down guerilla fighters.

While she won’t say it out loud, Sakura does have sympathy for the guerilla fighters and soldiers who are trying to protect their homeland.

Sakura prefers to use her body to fight, but she knows how to use different guns and weapons.

She actually faced Mukuro and her Corpses once. While her subordinates were easy to apprehend, the Lead Corpse was much more resilient and they ended up in a draw.

To this day, she has yet to take the life of an innocent.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru as the SHSL Fighter

Wanting to uphold the proud name of the Ishimaru Family, Kiyotaka devoted himself to learning martial arts.

While he has studied multiple forms of martial arts, his preferred combat forms are karate, judo and taekwondo.

He has a fanbase of girls who found him to be quite attractive thanks to his handsome physique and his cool profession.

He’s actually very flustered by their attention and tries desperately not to fraternize with dates as they would interfere with his training.

Kiyotaka is always shown wearing a white gi for a uniform and is often barefooted. He claims this is to build endurance. 

Byakuya Togami as the SHSL Public Morals Officer

He runs a tight shift in ensuring that his academy’s rules and regulations are followed by every student.

Byakuya also made a secret group of student officers who would keep an eye on any rule breakers and would report their findings to him.

His punishments range from extra homework to having to clean the entire school during weekends or fun holidays.

He decided to expand his power by influencing different academies using his moral code and conduct.

He’s also openly criticized multiple schools that were lackluster when it came to discipline and how they organized their education system.

With his influence as a Togami, a majority of elite academies in Japan incorporate his strict moral code.

Junko Enoshima as the SHSL Heir

She was born to a wealthy family that specialized in marketing.

At an early age, Junko learned the basics of managing businesses and how to treat employees under her thumb

Her upbringing upheld morals that encouraged her to be as ruthless and tactile when dealing with enemy companies or unruly subjects

She enjoys manipulating stocks and employees as a means of brutally taking down business rivals

Junko also has connections to underground agents that can bring her dirt about her competitors while also assigning them to sabotage their own enterprises.

Kyoko Kirigiri as the SHSL Fashion Model

She undergoes extensive workouts and health routines to maintain a physically fit and beautiful appearance.

Her main styles are based on classic punk while incorporating different concepts of violet.

Sometimes she gives pointers and tips to her model colleagues before a big event but she’ll still be cold and serious when it’s time to perform or showcase her works.

She’s always wearing gloves and there are tons of rumors as to what she’s hiding under her hands.

Kyoko knows how to speak French and English since she often travels to France and the US for modeling events.

Her father is a fashion designer but she stopped modeling his works due to creative differences. 

In her free time, she likes to sketch different designs. Yasuhiro has even asked her for help with creating new characters.

Hifumi Yamada as the SHSL Detective

He wears a classic trench coat and a fiddler hat

He cites Detective Conan as his main inspiration for his career and how to approach his cases

When interrogating potential suspects, he often uses bizarre or outlandish questions in order to make them lose their defenses.

Alot of his cases involve finding lost children or recovering stolen money and valuables

Despite taking on many cases, he has yet to be involved with anything murder related.

He secretly wishes for a detective rival so the cases can be more exciting and that he can be pushed to be a greater detective. 

Yasuhiro Hagakure as the SHSL Doujinshi Author

He grew up loving shonen anime with fantasy settings like Inuyasha or YuYu Hakusho.

His mom helped him in perfecting his writing and drawing skills and later with helping distribute his works.

Yasuhiro didn’t flunk like in canon, but his grades were pretty low since most of his time was spent daydreaming about potential storylines followed by him drawing them out.

The kids at his school were very impressed with his drawings, especially since they were based on their favorite shows.

He became very popular throughout his middle and high school years.

Despite his fandom, there were very few people whom he could call friends since most of them didn’t love the different layers and symbolism of the anime shows the same way he did.

Sometimes when inspired, he’ll pull out drawing supplies and paper from his dreadlocks.

Yasuhiro dreams of making his own anime/manga featuring a (totally not a self insert) protagonist who goes on ghost hunting adventures alongside his magic pet chicken.

Sayaka Maizono as the SHSL Fortune Teller

She dresses up as a carnival themed fortune teller.

Her stage name is the “Fairy of the Moon”. 

She prefers to predict happy and positive things in order to build a good reputation among the public.

When something bad is about to happen, like a fight or an accident, she notices things in extra detail that hint towards the upcoming event. (Like in the Final Destination series)

Sayaka has made several TV appearances where she would make open predictions about a fellow celebrity.

Having been acquainted with Aoi during her appearances, Sayaka often gives warnings to the idol about potential attackers.

Aoi Asahina as the SHSL Idol

While she’s a great singer, she has a hard time with writing her own songs. So she lets her group write them.

Her preferred songs contain messages of friendship and how bonds are important between people.

Aoi pulls off incredible dance movements throughout her performances that many idols have a hard time pulling off.

She has a close friendship with her idol group and considers them as her second family.

Aoi has also sparked controversy for openly supporting idols who defy the harmful expectations of their managers/corporate groups with their choices.

Her opinions on the matter have earned her an equal amount of fans and enemies. 

She has a harder time eating her precious donuts since her manager frequently discourages her from eating unnecessary sweets.